#also most people wouldn't say that romantic relationships are too intense or that after a few breakups you get less dramatic about it?

[templeofshame]

“You are so grateful to find someone that you have these identities in common with, that I think the initial few iterations of those chosen family dynamics, that it is too intense, you’re like holding on for dear life. And you know what that feels like, you know I mean, that grip? You’re like wait a minute, we can’t live like that.”

I can't tell if this is a read? from the queery ep with sam sanders, saeed jones and zach stafford

[yanderes-galore]

Can I please request a yandere alphabet for Dabi from BNHA?

I can try, sure! I just hope I can write Dabi properly like I have in the past—

Yandere Alphabet - Dabi

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Marking/Branding, Blood, Violence, Rough affection, Trauma, Arson/Burning people, Murder, Unhealthy one-sided relationship, Sadism, Stalking, Kidnapping, Isolation, Forced relationship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Dabi isn't the best when it comes to love and affection. He never really got it in his childhood and now, with a broken mental state, most likely doesn't have a healthy view on it. To him, loving his obsession may be the same as playing with a toy.

While not incapable of feelings, He certainly doesn't vent them well. His form of love is showing the power he has, of being rough and showing that you have no one but him. It's a mix between wanting you to recognize him and also him wanting to feel in control.

Which usually results in rough kissing, bruising holds, biting, and maybe even burning if it means he gets to keep you to himself.

Safe to say Dabi gets intense as he feels it gets the point across.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Knowing Dabi, messy. He is fully willing to cause carnage towards innocents if it benefits him in some way. If someone was close to you, like family, friends, a lover...

They'll quickly be burned by Dabi if he feels they're in the way of him having you.

He might leave them alone if you distance yourself... but no promises.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

I can see Dabi mocking his obsession to see their reaction. You could be a hero, a civilian, maybe even a villain or something else entirely.... Dabi may just find enjoyment in messing with you.

In terms of how you'd be treated after being abducted... Dabi's "love" is rough. He likes to mark his obsession and break them down. He wants them to be his own personal toy and pet.

In a twisted way, he feels this gives him the attention he craves from you. Forcing it is the method he's found works best.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Definitely. Dabi is a yandere that enjoys control. He likes to manipulate you, scare you, and make you completely reliant on him.

He always gets a say on what you do.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Dabi isn't vulnerable. If he was, it's no doubt during a breakdown, and I feel he'd be more volatile than anything. He likes to feel in control with you.

But who knows, maybe he'll be soft if he's pushed enough. That's a big 'maybe' though.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Amused. For the most part he's just amused since he knows you're weaker than him. He'll toy with you, let you get it all out of your system.

Although, if you get too unruly, he'll remind you who you belong to.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Yes and he might enjoy it. Normally most yanderes find this distressing or annoying. Dabi, on the other hand, finds amusement in it.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

When it comes to Dabi, there's a few options. But the worst one? Well, that's hard to pick. Dabi would burn people in front of you, he would burn you to brand you...

He tends to like using fire, so I wouldn't be surprised if one day he catches you trying to escape...

Then just decides to give you a burn scar or two to remind you that you're his.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

I don't think he thinks much of the future in general. He prefers just focusing on what's going on in front of him. Currently that happens to be you being his.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Yes and he definitely lashes out. He isn't really one to hide his anger even if he's usually aloof or stoic. One can always tell when he's in a mood.

Not much can quell his anger except you. Even then... You'll need to put in some work if you plan to have some innocents spared from his flames.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Stoic, Aloof, Focused, Crude, Volatile, Manipulative, Possessive, Sadistic, Observing, Controlling... Honestly, it could just keep going on.

There's some small moments where he's merciful which is good.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He doesn't court in the traditional sense. He probably gets curious, ends up stalking you, and even gets irritated he's so fixated on you. You're distracting... but enjoyable.

He could watch you for months, maybe even manufacture meetings to meet you. Although, after that he'll make his move.

Then you'll be all his, locked away, just for him to toy with.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not really. He seems to "care" more but it isn't much different.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Burning. He likes to give you burns to show you that you did something wrong by defying him. The alternative is him harming other people if they got on his nerves enough...

But it's all up to you and your behavior, right?

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Similar answer to D, all of them if it means he gets your attention.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

I imagine he has moderate patience. He can be patient, but he has a limit.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Depends on how attached. Although, I can see him snapping if someone took you away from him. The only way you're leaving him is with help.

He'll burn them before they get too close.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No and he definitely would not let you go.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Definitely his childhood trauma that decided to morph into a twisted desire for attention.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He'll either mock you or leave you be. He isn't sure how to deal with this kind of thing properly.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He still technically cares about you, he just can't properly show it, which leads to your unhealthy relationship. This does not justify his decisions at all, of course.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

I assume getting him distracted by a hero. But good luck with that.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Unfortunately, yes he would.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Not a worship yandere, but since he likes to be controlling, he would go to great lengths to keep you in his grasp.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Months I feel is accurate. Maybe closer to a year.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

[mary-laib]

OKAY WRITING ABOUT JWCT SHIPS TIME:

Sammy x Yasmina

10/10

I love their relationship and how they have come so far throughout cc and ct. Also less to do with the ship but I especially loved how Yasmina was shown in ct to have worked towards facing her fears and has gotten so much further than Sammy, who has been ignoring her problems. There's like nothing to hate about this ship. Everyone agrees they're perfect.

Kenji x Brooklyn

3/10

I've been waiting for them to break up since they got together. She was great for him in the beginning of their relationship, helping him become his own person and becoming less egotistical, but she has refused to change with him, which has made their relationship stagnant. I thing their relationship was good for Kenji and I'm glad they got together if only so that she could help him figure out how to be his own man, but past that, their relationship was pointless and I hope it never gets rejuvenated.

Ben x Darius

8/10

I love them as bros and honestly, despite their obvious closeness and the fact that I would like to see more of their interactions, I see them as more platonic, especially with what Darius said about his crush on Brooklyn. Not because of him liking Brooklyn or girls in general and you'll see why in a minute. But I also wouldn't be mad to see them get together. They're both nerds and I love them.

Darius x Brooklyn

2/10

Honestly, I feel like the same things that caused a rift in Brooklyn's relationship with Kenji would also tear apart her relationship with Darius. And it's stated in the show that it's unrequited. They're good friends, but while he'd probably rate her as his top friend and vice versa, I feel like we can collectively agree that there are other friendships he has that are less toxic. Also the love triangle thing feels so weird when the girl cares less about both the guys combined than either one feels about her.

Darius x Nobody

9/10 The dots have been connected

Now hear me out: I don't feel like his crush has ruined things between him and Ben or Kenji, but some things about what he said regarding his crush and his reactions have made me feel like he is very aroace coded. Which has put a lot of things in perspective for me. Since the beginning of cc, he's been a "power of friendship" guy and rewatching his interactions with everyone, they seem a lot stronger and meaningful as just platonic, rather than romantic. And while everyone around him has been dealing with romance, he's just kind of indifferent to it all until Brooklyn. And his reaction to his crush on Brooklyn just screams repressed aroace with him saying that he never thought he could feel like that (has he never had a crush on anybody before) and how he has completely panicked regarding their relationship. Idk to me, it's giving aroace with a "fake" crush or demi aroace person who has taken way too long to fall for a girl that anybody else would have fallen for after the original bout of mortal danger. He had to be friends with her for YEARS before he could catch a semblance of a crush on her. And it also sounds to me like she was pretty absent in his life before popping in to stay with him for a week, which could also explain why he might he having a "fake" crush (if that is what it is). ALSO: when I say "fake" crush, I'm not trying to downplay his feelings, I'm just referring to something a lot of aroace people experience where you get really close to someone and mistake those feelings for love. And when it happens, these feelings are very intense(speaking from experience). Like how if he's suddenly frequently interacting with Brooklyn again and it's just them, I feel like that kind of situation could lead to an aroace crush. It's all just giving aroace person experiencing their first crush in the most traumatic way possible.

Brooklyn x Nobody

10/10 We love to see a gal feeling herself

I feel like at this point in the story, she has nothing to gain or give by being in a relationship with anybody in the show. Her and Kenji had a decent run while they had it, but it's time to let go at this point. If she does end up with someone, it has to be someone outside the main cast and personally, I'd like to see her with a gal pal. She has bi energy, especially with the new haircut.

Kenji x Darius

7/10

Honestly, I definitely shipped them mid-cc, but at the beginning of ct, I decided I did not want to see them get together. But by the end, I kind of changed my mind. I still think their relationship would be best platonic, but I also wouldn't be mad if they got together. It'd probably be a bit stranger than if Darius was with Ben, but they've also got a strong connection.

Ben x Kenji

0/10

I feel like they've hardly gotten any relationship building in either cc or ct and it needs to happen pronto. There has to be something they can bond over

Sammy x Yasmina and Ben

10/10

I'd like to see the lesbians in a qpr with their hypeman. Ben is just so cute with them and he loves them so much (platonically) and vice versa. It doesn't need to be anything official, but just more of Ben being their third wheel/adopted son would make the show more perfect than it already is.

Ben x His European GF

2/10

I think she's fake, either that he's lying about her so he doesn't lose street cred or that she is lying to him and is a catfish. Maybe we'll see a plot twist relating to the gf, but I'm not holding out hope. She could be redeemed if she was a real girl who was a total kickass and saved the whole group (maybe they meet her at the end of their stowaway boat mission) but otherwise I don't really care about her. Also don't lose hope, people who hc him as gay or aro, there's always the chance that he's bi, lying, or having a "fake" crush like Darius. I know I, as an aroace person have had more online than irl relationships and I'm p sure that's a sign of not being allo, especially when the person you're dating is far away and you have no plans of ever seeing them irl.

Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[oneforthemunny]

ok but most to least likely to cheat? please? i love angst!

i really don't think any of them actually would. i think they're just not gross like that, and they're all lover boy coded to their core. it's webbed in all eddie dna, even the worst of them.

i can tell you why each of them wouldn't??? a fair compromise?

janitor!eddie- self explanatory. i mean this and i know it's gonna sound insane and fake and silly, but i really don't think he could find another person attractive once he met you. it's just not in his dna, no one else exists type thing. he loves you for so many reasons, and he's gonna fuck that up?? yeah, right lol.

mafia!eddie- genuinely is annoyed by most people's presence. he's busy babes, and he doesn't trust very easily. he's never been a big relationship guy, not even casual really. he's just been incredibly tunnel visioned with his own shit, that it just not a necessity. then he gets hooked once he does. really, wouldn't want to bc he doesn't trust anyone but also bc he's found the best.

older!eddie- truly is too old. too old and tired to be fucking around and playing games like that. even if he wanted to, that's embarrassing to him. being old and a fuckboy? he did that when he was in his twenties. now, he wants to settle down. wants something real.

modern!eddie- he's too pussy whipped for that. genuinely. he might think someone's pretty or nice. i think the thing with him, is he's a little too trusting sometimes, so when he meets a girl and she's nice to him he's like "oh a friend :)" when... that's not the case. that would be the closest thing to him actually cheating is she asks him stuff about the relationship and he tells her, and it's obv the other being malicious about it. then once you pointed it out, it's shut down. truly, he's just a moron, but a lover boy at heart. very much so the type if a girl flirted to say "i have a girlfriend and she's crazy. please don't touch me, she'll scalp you."

hockey!eddie- surrounded by puck bunnies, and he giggles at them when they try because??? hello??? he's clearly got you??? silly girls, you're right there! sunshine boy, he would never. you make him so happy, i don't even think he would consider it a possibility. some of his teammates cheat (obv they're hockey boys and gross) and he's so disgusted by them. even more than that, he's shocked. he genuinely thinks so lowly of them, especially if they're married and have kids. the foulest thing to him.

rockstar!eddie- i mean... once you guys are in, he's all fucking in. that's the thing about him, is he does everything so intensely. he's also had everything, all kinds of kinds, seen the world, experienced all it has to offer. and when he thinks about you compared to it, it's just not even close. he chooses you every time. i mean, you have three wedding ceremonies because he's just that into it. that into showing the world how you're together. then once the babies start coming, forget about it. he's locked in long before then, but after that? call him anti-feminist or whatever, but no other woman, person, anything on earth is better than you. it's why in the sex dungeon, he gets you a high priestess costume, because truly that's how he sees you.

cowboy!eddie- barely sees anyone anyways bc he's kinda a recluse. not the most romantic either lol, especially pre-you. he's more of like a "you can come over here" and then he's ready for you to leave after he's done. he likes his space, so once he meets you and wants you in his space? alters his routine for you? accommodates you into his life? plus you're a little kinky freaky wild and exciting like him? he's in for life. i think he can be a little bit flirty still at the beginning, just years of being a bachelor, but he'd never fuck or kiss or really engage romantically with anyone else.

dom!eddie- the closest he'd come is a threesome maybe. MAYBE. but truly, i don't think he'd want them in any other way than for his own twisted kinky fantasies with you at the center of them- like the other person involved could genuinely be anyone, he doesn't have someone in mind. but really, truthfully? everyone else bores him. he would be so bored if he was with someone who did everything he said (even tho he mocks you and tells you that's what he wants). if he was with someone who blindly obeyed without a fight, he'd be bored after twenty minutes. plus, you're his best friend, genuinely, outside of the kinky part of your relationship, you're his person. when something happens, good or bad, you're the first person he wants to tell. the first person he wants to do things with, never gets tired of doing things with, genuine best friends.

boxer!eddie- similar to those before, that he's anti social but he's mean too. like he comes across as an asshole, and is one, and he was very lonely before he met you. someone who can keep up with him, give it as good as they take it. quick witted and a little cynical and snarky, but not utter doom and gloom. he really was convinced he'd die alone, george clooney and remain an unmarried bachelor for the rest of his life, hopping from whoever to whoever (if he didn't die in the ring first) then he met you. it took him so long to build that up, get the relationship to a relationship, that he's not cheating and fucking that up. couldn't fine someone he'd want to cheat with even if he did because you're one of a kind to him.

bouncer!eddie- ok, i know i said he would, and technically he does-ish, but it's really not super intentional. he's actually stupid and thought he was being cool. anyways. he wouldn't cheat once he actually communicated and there was confirmation he was in a relationship lol. i think he'd be down for threesomes, but that's it. not genuine cheating bc he doesn't actually feel anything towards the other person other than in the moment, he's horny. especially if they're touching you, or your touching them, but that's the key right there. you have to be in it. plus, who else is gonna be freaky with him like you are? no one. and you're funny and sweet to him and exciting and like to listen to his music? in his eyes, it's a match made in heaven.

[minus-plus-zer0]

The Bakusquad Gaming Group - Ch. 3 - Shipping O-o

| Masterlist | The Bakusquad Gaming Group Masterlist | | Previous | Next (TBD) | ♡ Genre: Fluff, suggestive ♡ Pairing: Gamer!Bakugou x Gamer!Reader ♡ Tags: Crossover (MHA x multiple franchises), gaming AU, Quirkless AU, aged up

Ever since your gaming channel started collaborating with Dynamight's, both of your fanbases have noticed your shared chemistry together.

And as your onscreen interactions increased, so did the shipping.

Shipping was never a big thing within the Bakusquad, especially considering Bakugou's near violent reaction towards anything sweet or romantic. But you were both sweet AND romantic, and yet Bakugou didn't have a problem with you. Everybody collectively raised their eyebrow at that.

Ever since your fans noticed, they ran wild with the ship. Fan accounts tagged your social media with new fanart of Bakugou and you, mashing your names together to form a title for the ship as it sailed beyond a point where you could even dare to stop it.

Your previous streams together didn't help matters as you flirted(?) on-camera. Given your growing feelings for Bakugou, obviously you didn't mind the prospect of actually dating him later on. You also flirted just because it was fun for you, for him, and for the chat.

But the shipping grew intense, and maybe you should've seen that coming.

Needless to say, you worried about how this would affect your actual relationship. At least the fanart was tame. The fanfics were NOT. You didn't know who wrote those wretched things, but you made the biggest mistake of your life by opening one of them. You could never unread what was once read.

You recalled the words from that single fanfic excursion, the ones that made you cringe.

"Bakugou nuzzled his girlfriend on stream, declaring her to be his one and only super duper true love. It was then that he asked her to marry him. But neither of them noticed that the camera kept rolling as they made out, and the chat went wild when they--"

You threw your phone across your room. You didn't check it for hours out of pure shame.

Most of the analyses regarding your relationship included any number of misinterpretations. You couldn't get their fan theories out of your head. Was Bakugou too close to you while you played games together in his apartment? Did Bakugou try to hold your hand during your last playthrough, like the fans suspected? Did Bakugou like all of your social media posts because he liked you in particular? You just didn't know anymore.

The real life shipping put a lot of pressure on your relationship. Your chat moderators (the other Bakusquad members) always had to deal with the shipping discussions that inevitably ensued afterwards. You felt like a bug underneath a microscope sometimes. Bakugou recently texted you about a restaurant he wanted to show you, but you declined. You didn't know how you could show your face to him after all this.

Unlike other content creators, you two previously helped fueled the fire of the shippers before realizing how bad it would get. Originally, you thought it would just be good fun, that it wouldn't get out of hand if you leaned into it as a joke rather than trying to dissuade people from it. And having people supportive of your budding relationship with Bakugou felt nice. But clearly that was the wrong move, and both of your fanbases had transformed greatly as a result. You never expected the shipping to reach this extent so soon.

Days later you denied a few more hangouts, just to give yourself some time to think. You didn't ghost Bakugou, you just put your friendship on hold temporarily.

But Bakugou wouldn’t let you avoid him for long. One day, he texted you something serious.

“We gotta talk about this.”

He posted a link to a social media account detailing the "Bakugou x You" ship. It was filled to the brim with "hints" of your relationship, fanart, wedding theories, romantic video compilations, and more. You cringed at the sight of it, but you couldn't leave Bakugou hanging.

You texted back. "Okay ;-;. I'm at my apartment, wanna meet me there?"

He agreed. Half an hour later, Bakugou showed up at your door. You opened it, meekly.

Bakugou stood there, expression impassive but unusually silent. Then, he spoke.

“You wanna let me in?”

You sighed and sidestepped, gesturing for him to enter. He followed you over to your living room couch, where you both sat. Your cute, pink home was much smaller than his apartment, and so was your couch. Thus, there wasn't much space between you two and there was little else in the room to distract you.

Bakugou stuck out like a sore thumb against the prettiness of your house. It made you uncomfortable to look him in the eye, but reluctantly, you did. He was already staring at you, looking quite serious.

"Those fans are a little embarrassing, haha..." you said.

"They're really fucking stupid."

It kinda hurt to hear him say that. You couldn't help but take a liking to the boy as your friendship progressed, so you almost hoped he would have a different reaction. But him egging the fans on would've been more strange...

"Um, I can tell them we're not dating, I guess?" You twiddled your thumbs. "Maybe that will help, if only a little."

Bakugou exhaled through his nose. "You don't have to tell them anything, at least not for my sake. The rumors stop my old hag of a mother from asking when I'm gonna get a girlfriend, so that's actually a benefit. I always tell her to fuck off, that I'm never dating anyone, and I've stuck to that my entire life. Now I don't gotta do that. But I know you, and I know you're probably not always comfortable with how people see ya."

"Well have you seen the fanfiction?" You shook your head. "Are you proud of your mother seeing that too?"

"Wha--she hasn't seen that shit yet!"

"So you have read it!"

"You have too!"

You both glared at each other, now flustered. His glare was much more ferocious, but yours was equally unwavering. You couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"So we both read it..." you said. "...What tags did you choose?"

Bakugou squinted at you. "You first."

"No, I asked before you did."

Bakugou groaned loudly. He rested his head in his hands. "...Rivals to friends to lovers, fake dating, mafia--"

"Mafia?! Why--"

"--Soulmates, and domestic fluff. There. Happy? What about you?"

"Why would you read about us in the mafia?!"

"Hey! I asked you a damn question!" He poked you in the stomach. "Now you gotta answer! What were your tags?!"

Now it was your turn to look ashamed.

"...It was smut."

"Wha--How can you look me in the eyes and say that?"

"I couldn't!" You covered your face with your hands. "That's why I was avoiding you..."

Bakugou raised an eyebrow at you.

"...What did you read, exactly?" Bakugou asked, quietly.

"I don't know! I didn't even finish it, I threw my phone away before I could even reach the end. You know, the 'smut' tag was recommended everywhere. Don't tell me you didn't check it out too!"

Bakugou remained silent, and that spoke volumes.

"So we're both guilty," you said.

"...Does it bother ya?" Bakugou asked. "I can get the rest of the Bakusquad lackeys to moderate the chats better so they quit talking about us."

"That'd never work, and you know it." You slumped against your small couch. "Since our shipping fanbase isn't as rabid as others, maybe it'd be better not to poke the bear and try to fight them off. My main concern was originally how this would affect us..." You both looked away from each other. "But... now that I know we're in the same boat, I guess I don't feel as uncomfortable as I did before. Like it's easier to deal with this if we're both on the same page. Does that make sense?"

Bakugou looked at you. "No. Not at all. But if you don't give a shit, then I don't either. I only needed to know this shit wouldn't come between us, and that it wasn't creeping you out. So long as they don't progress to stalking we can just keep the finer details of our relationship a secret. Just don't go telling them everything we do."

"But you already had that rule in place, didn't you?"

"I fucking did. And clearly it was for a good damn reason." He wagged his finger at you. "It'd be easier to hide stuff if we got all my lackeys in on this. I'll get the Bakusquad to at least try and moderate more shit and suppress how much these extras invade into our lives, even if we can't stop 'em completely. In fact, we've got a convention coming up and you can go there to see the squad."

"I heard about that!" you said, sitting upright. "I actually wanted to surprise you guys by popping up at your panel at the convention, but since the shipping got stronger I thought it'd be better to lay low..."

Bakugou shook his head. "Hell no. If you already thought of going, then it only makes sense to have you come directly with us. We're not gonna let that shipping stuff mess with ya or creep ya out. I'll protect both of us. Besides, me and the guys already talked it over and they'd love to meet ya in-person after moderating our streams for so long. Just put on a disguise if you're still worried."

"A disguise, hm?" You playfully stroked your chin. "You're about to see a whole new side of me! Oh... but there is one last thing I wanted to discuss..."

Bakugou looked at you, concerned. "What is it?"

"...Can I read the mafia fic you read?"

"You're still fucking on that?!"

You shrugged. "I just wanna see what they wrote! Like, who would even think to write that about us? Isn't that interesting? Isn't that why you checked that fic out?"

Bakugou glared at you, but didn't say anything. You knew you were right.

"Hold on." Bakugou pulled up his phone and scrolled through his search history.

You tapped your feet happily, clapping your hands. "Oh this will be so much fun!"

"Don't go fucking judging me for this," Bakugou said.

"What did you think of the fic? Did you think it was your favorite? Did you leave a comment talking about how much it changed your life for the better? Did--"

"I did exactly none of those things!" Bakugou snarled at you. "Now quiet down and look."

Bakugou roughly scooted over on the couch to you, bumping against your hip. His phone displayed the mafia fic, clear as day. There were multiple other tags such as "Fluff", "Love at First Sight", "Soulmates", and more...

You looked at up, with one question clear on your silent face. "Why?"

"You wanted to read it so freaking read it already!" He shoved the phone in your face.

"No." You folded your arms. "We're reading it together. I wanna see your reactions."

Bakugou looked like he could die.

But he did as you asked.

(This isn't meant to offend any shippers of the fictional Bakugou x You ship, for I am one OuO. I bet Bakugou would love tooth-rotting fluff Bakugou x You fics as his guilty pleasure. Btw the next chapter will be longer than this one and is already in the works!)

[yiga-hellhole]

hiii i was going to make more of these but i realized i cant be arsed for all of them in one big batch. anyway @smilesrobotlover thank you bestie for reminding me this template exists. too bad there isnt a slider for "beats the other up - is beaten up" because you know the boys are FIGHTINGGGG

some rambling under the cut

big spoon and little spoon is a straightforward one because well, you're not going to get a bigger damn spoon than zant. he's massive. but sometimes even he likes feeling small and cared for, so they're not beyond having him fold his spindly limbs up like he's a dead spider and let ghirahim scoop him into his arms

i don't see them as a big "sharing clothes" type of couple. ghirahim's are far too small for him and his wardrobe flusters zant to no end. inversely, ghirahim wouldn't be caught dead in most of zant's things. but zant would find a lot of enjoyment in giving him clothes

pet names, ghirahim has like 2~3 for zant that he uses, and they're never particularly sappy or anything. zant however makes up new ones every other day. he's sick in the head

introverted-extroverted scale is a little complicated because ghirahim strikes me as more ambiverted. he's well-versed socially and loves attention, specifically loves bullying people, but after spending so long in solitude without proper peers, i think being alone has grown rather comforting for him too. who knows how it'll pack out when he has more like-minded individuals around him? i'm not sure yet.

for love-language, like i said, ghirahim isn't very sappy. he's far more touchy-feely in that aspect where he will just grab and kiss and tease when he feels the need. zant is a solid 50-50 because he loves being touched but also makes up sappy little nicknames on the spot or a long-winded declaration of love to the point it starts getting a little annoying. he's just kind of intense.

confession... well ghirahim would be quick to start doing things that typically denote a couple, but leaves it up to zant to actually officiate the whole thing. partly because he has issues. but also because he loves any chance at making him flustered (issues... 2!)

i don't think either of them are scared of bugs. but ghirahim is callous in getting rid of them and zant will just add them to his personal collection if he can catch em

twili society is rather high-tech. they probably have vehicles of some kind, and zant strikes me as the kind of guy who can drive. irresponsibly, i'll grant, but he'll do it. ghirahim would know how, but he refuses to. he's spoiled like that

the cooking one is funny because anyone in my server will know about the 'zant meal' phenomenon. he can cook, at least to keep himself alive, but the things he makes are horrifying to witness. unprecedented flavor profiles and chaotic execution. just don't worry about it. ghirahim, meanwhile, has a built-in chemical compendium and a heat sensor. theoretically he'd make an excellent cook and baker. he just doesn't want to.

zant loves affection, but is a very private person. he knows ghirahim is very showy and obnoxious, so if he lets him get away with slobbering his face even once, he;d have to deal with it every single hour of the day. and that'd embarrass him!!

theyre BOTH overprotective. it's a problem. though, zant in the sense of, "i want him to be all mine, i want to be all he thinks about, i want him by my side every minute of the day", and ghirahim in the sense of, livestock guard dog with spiked collar to murder wolves.

ghirahim has more relationship experience in that he's met many faces in his millennia of living.... but this kind of romantic intimacy is unknown to him. the whole song-and-dance of courtship he knows, but genuine love, he doesn't. zant had one FWB in college that he fell in fairy-tale love with and planned their wedding in his head after one (1) kiss. needless to say when that guy broke up wih him he was very normal.

i think the horny-awkwardness-jealousy levels speak for themselves.

[chimchiri]

How did the Wonderbolts find out/react to Spitfire and Rainbow's relationship?

Ok I will focus on Fleetfoot here because otherwise it'll be too long. I ended up drawing a few panels but can't finish them right now, so I'm giving you all the sketches.

I hc Fleetfoot to know Spitfire the longest right after Soarin. They're close friends (Fleets considers Spitty her best friend even) and even though she's got a pretty intense rivalry with Rainbow, they also started a close and intense friendship after Rainbow joined. Fleetfoot considers her friendship to both to be very special.

The scene in question happens during some holiday, general WB vacation, or just a weekend. It's one of the AUs where Spitty and Rainbow start dating and get closer while still in the WBs. At some point they don't want to stay at home and want to show physical intimacy in public instead of acting like friends. But both being well known (especially Spitfire) immediately excludes all bigger and nearer towns. They can't just go out and hold hands and kiss without the press immediately writing about it and it ending in a huge scandal for the Wonderbolts.

They end up spending this specific date in a small village which hosts some minor festival that day. It's tiny, not that well known and is perfect for them. People don't recognize them outside of their uniforms and signature outfits.

It's pure happenstance that Fleetfoot is at the same no-name festival, visiting either an old friend or having to spend some time there due to some family issue. She notices the familiar, colorful hair in the corner of her eye. The hair is a lot more vibrant and visible in the up-do Rainbow wears - a bit foolish of her to not wear a cap like Spitfire. But Rainbow being able to test, investigate and discover her own femininity in the safety of their private time is a big part of her. Plus, Spitfire also didn't think it would be a problem.

From the outfit, Fleetfoot wouldn't have guessed it's really Rainbow further down the street. But she recognizes her hair and laughter immediately. As for Spitfire, even with a hat and glasses, she'd recognize her a mile away as well.

It's a bizarre scene for Fleetfoot and seeing them kiss feels like a gut punch. At this point she's often tried to push Spitfire to go out and at least have some sexy flings, some fun nights with nameless girls instead of her just drowning in WB work. Spitfire always dismissed her, saying she can focus on romance later when she can actually date someone in private and not have the press nonstop on her heels. Similarly Rainbow always denied liking someone and wanting to focus on being a great Wonderbolt member, being the newest addition. The most Fleetfoot got out of her, was doing silly "Smash or Pass" games the nights out after training or a big event.

Fleetfoot would never even have guessed that either would be interested in anyone, especially not each other. And seeing them in front of her seems is like a dream. She feels like she's seeing two completely different people in front of her and not her friends: Rainbow with her more delicate and feminine attire than usual, and Spitfire who's acting a lot more flirty, soft and seductive instead of her serious, rough or dudebro-joking attitude as captain.

Fleetfoot considered her relationship to both as special. She's not just "a friend" and that's the first reason why catching them in the act affects her this deeply.

The second reason is that she takes the Wonderbolts, their reputation, and especially the team bond just as serious as Spitfire. Seeing them involved romantically goes not only against the Wonderbolt code and rules, but would raise red flags even if it was allowed. There are a gazillion reasons why trouble could and - in Fleets' eyes - would follow. Can either separate work from relationship? Can they stay neutral? Will there be favoritism? Will Rainbow start to slack off? Will she distract Spitfire form her duties? Will there be silent grudges in the team? Will the team and performance suffer?

Fleets is usually pretty outgoing and wears her emotions on her sleeve. This time she swallows her anger and other complicated emotions and keeps quiet. The desire to just go up to and confront them is big - but she doesn't want this to end in a catastrophe for the team. Also she feels Spitfire could talk and explain herself and Rainbow out of it - probably playing it all down since Fleetfoot doesn't even have evidence.

So Fleetfoot waits for now, hoping to observe and collect evidence she can use against them once her judgement day comes. She's still convinced this is bad and will hurt everyone in the long run. But even with a very close eye on them, she doesn't notice anything. Their performance doesn't falter. They're both as motivated to be peak Wonderbolts as ever. There are no noticeable longer or romantic touches. No special eye gazing. Rainbow gets no special treatment, quite the opposite - Fleets wonders if maybe she gets more criticism and work than the others (which is 100% the case. Spitfire does overcompensate a bit in her attempt to hide their relationship) She doesn't see them meet up in a romantic way. She never sees a kiss or romantic gesture again. And even when she spies on them when they think they're all alone, they don't act differently to regular teammates.

There are days where Fleetfoot wonders if her mind way playing a trick on her and that she saw two other people that day. Only sometimes though. And with time moving on and her not seeing any bad consequences, her emotions towards this secret mellow out and transform into a different, more empathetic nature.

There is more going on and some follow-up with Fleetfoot and Rainbow which also covers Rainbow's insecurity about feminine clothing - but it's a long post already. I might want to doodle something for it as well, when that time comes.

[atsucry]

Take a Break

synopsis: Hange is a little too immersed in their study of titans.

Hange Zoë x gn!reader

my only warning is that this might be a little ooc

tags: no smut, fluff

You and Hange have been doing well in your relationship, but lately, they've been cooped up either in their office or in a tent near the captured Titans—Sawney and Bean, as Hange calls them. They loomed over their desk all day, surrounded by scattered papers filled with doodles and writings. You worry that they'll stress themselves to death if they keep going like this—not that you disapprove of their passion or projects, far from it.

Determined to bring Hange back to reality, you march toward the camp with a lamp in hand, your hood pulled over your head. It's already past seven, and they haven't retreated yet—too focused on their research to even remember to do so.

As you approach, there were two massive marquees made especially for the Titans. Their groans rumble from within, they sleep like any other creature. You continue on to find Hange. It’s obvious where they were; a singular tent has light spilling out, and you can hear their fast murmuring from within.

Pulling back the entrance to face them, but their back is turned to you. Their hair tousled, likely from pulling and tugging at it out of frustration—that’s your best guess.

Hange jerks their head toward you, surprised, though their face also holds a sorry look. They turn fully to face you.

"Ah—Hi!—Hey…" Hange starts.

"...I apologize, but…I really can't leave this alone—"

"There’s always tomorrow," you say, knowing that convincing someone like Hange won’t be an easy task. "Come rest for the night."

"Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Plus—" the scientist turned back to their work, "It's not that this research is being forced on me, this is my passion and I choose to spend sleepless nights to understand these creatures." Hange beckons you to have a closer look at their discoveries on paper.

You close the curtain behind you, giving the conversation a bit more privacy.

You step a little closer before speaking out,

"Even the most passionate people let their projects rest. That spark isn't going anywhere, you understand this, yes?"

"Of course I do but—"

"That drive you have will eventually lead to your doom someday. And then who else would be suitable to fill in your role if you did? Let it rest."

They seemed to mull over your words for a bit. Hopefully, this will knock their brain back into place—without all the parts littered around in that skull of theirs. Leaning back into their desk, they prop themselves on their elbows and sigh in defeat. Taking a seat, and massaging the bridge of their nose.

The usually eccentric and intense squad leader stood in front of you, in the calmest state you've seen them in. Maybe not the calmest but the quietest.

"I'm sorry…if I worried you there." your partner spoke up, looking you in the eye as they said this. "But if that's what you want…I can't exactly refuse anything from you either." they said giving a lighthearted chuckle at the end.

"...So, will you?"

"It wouldn't kill me to take a break once in a while! Let's go."

They'd gone back to their energetic persona, pulling up their hood and grabbing the nearby handheld lamp, turning off the previous desk lamp to drown the area in darkness after keeping all of their things in one box.

"Titans really are incredible, aren't they?"

A sigh of relief escapes your mouth, glad that you'd have been able to persuade them into setting everything down.

Before retreating back to the barracks, Hange had to say goodnight to their titans, of course.

"Goodnight, Sawney, bean!"

You gave a warm smile, facing you, hange did the same.

"Titans really are incredible, aren't they?"

Note: Gusy this is my first fanfic im so scared. This is obviously not proofread so...

RAHHGGAHH writing romance feels new to me idk idk how to portray romantic feelings all that well so im jst experimenting for now...

[idolbound]

I think people likely do suspect Meredith might be a little 💅 you know?

Obviously some followers of the Chantry take up vows of chastity, though from what I've been reading, while templars aren't required to take said vows, they do require special permission to marry as they may be required to move to other Circles or to do the Chantry's bidding elsewhere. As it were, if a spouse can provide their own support (e.g., owning land, having a role in another organization like the City Guard [I think of Aveline and Wesley, as he was apparently a former templar]), then permission is granted. This process likely deters most templars from formally marrying, or even maintaining long-term relationships.

That said, it's evident that templars in Kirkwall frequent the Blooming Rose often enough that Meredith eventually orders a raid of the place to find out which of her knights have been paying for sex and 'ruining' the reputation of the Order and its Knight-Commander. Obviously this demonstrates that templars seek and pay for sex without commitment nor worry about an actual relationship.

But, I am also certain that templars do have relationships beyond the Order - and perhaps, also, within it, though this is obviously discouraged and likely to earn reprimand for engaging in activities that could be seen as distracting from their duties (and creating a conflict of interest / tension among the ranks).

Now, with that context in mind, let's get back to Meredith.

Of course, already in Act 1 people are terrified of Meredith, and those who serve her do not want to break rules or cross her. She too wouldn't have any interest in being involved with someone serving under her, though I'm sure there are speculations about her interests. After all, we know from World of Thedas vol 2 that, when she stormed the brothel, she came across a very naked, very erect Jethann and politely and quietly excused herself. I'm sure Jethann has talked about this incident and rumours have spread; either the Knight-Commander is indeed, just a paragon of her faith and upholding a strict vow of chastity, or she isn't interested in men. While not a common assertion, someone, somewhere has probably drunkenly theorized about it. Like all the other rumours about Meredith, I think this one would certainly be among them.

Additionally, and this is in the game itself, but if Hawke is male and 'flirtatiously' compliments Meredith, she shuts him down by saying "I do not wear this armour for how it looks" and all but rolls her eyes at him. If Hawke is female, she simply says nothing (again, likely that they forgot to record a line / chose not to), but sometimes actions speak louder than words!

Now, in my own personal headcanon, I believe that as a Knight-Templar, Meredith had to deal with her templar brothers finding her attractive and desiring her in that way, which in response, she had to assert over and over, her utter disinterest in them. Most of these boys and young men thought they were rejected because Meredith was so focused on her studies, but others really found it hard to believe she would reject them. Obviously, this started the rumour mill about Meredith, both among her own cohort and beyond; after all, she was already a contentious initiate, since she already had an 'in' to doing well in the Order ahead of her peers because she was Knight-Captain Kell's unofficial adoptive daughter. Her blatant rejections towards her fellow knights' advances only added to that, with speculations ranging from the fact she already had a secret lover outside of the Gallows, to the fact she simply preferred the company of the fairer sex.

While it was true that Meredith was intensely focused on her duties and becoming the best Templar she could be, she was well aware of her romantic interest and sexual attraction toward other women early on (likely around age 16-17). I think as a ward of the Chantry that Meredith likely developed some close, possibly homoerotic friendships with other girls who grew up alongside one another, but obviously as Meredith became a templar initiate and stayed in the barracks of the Gallows, some connections may have been lost over time.

As an adult and new Knight-Templar, I believe Meredith - young, tall, and handsome - did have numerous illicit affairs with Chantry Sisters over the years, including when she became Knight-Captain, but stopping when she became Knight-Commander. As I've discussed, Meredith is hypersexual and this affects her relationships, but during this time, because of her duties, she is never able to form a long-term romantic relationship, preferring short-lived and secretive sexual relations, hidden by the cover of nightfall and the shadows in the darkest corners of the Chantry. While she has always been hypervigilant about, well, just about everything (due to her PTSD), there have always been wandering eyes and listening ears that notice such things.

In the timeline of Kirkwall, as mentioned above, I don't think such a rumour would become known by Meredith as most people are frightened of her and wouldn't dare mention it, but I do think the templars who have known her since the beginning, and those who have perhaps seen or heard a little too much, might know about where her preferences lie. In Thedas, for the most part, it would seem that having same-sex attraction is not seen as inherently bad or evil, though according to Brother Gentivi, in some places it is considered a quirk of character or sometimes scandal if done indiscreetly , or it can be accepted provided a noble still contribute to procreation and reproducing heirs for bloodlines.

In this case, given Meredith's position as Knight-Commander, and the other actions (or inaction) she takes regarding the templar-mage conflict and ruling the city, people knowing her sexuality is truly just another piece of gossip shared over ale in Lowtown, though one that may invoke further judgement by some.

[reverieparacosm]

Headcanons what it would be like to be in a relationship with Bondrewd

Bondrewd (Made in Abyss) x GN!Reader

Warnings: manipulative behavior, toxic relationship, kidnapping, possessive behaviors

Note: There are hardly any fanfictions about him so I decided to write headcanons about him myself! Oh well... My taste in fictional characters is terrible <3

Being in a relationship with Bondrewd would certainly be an interesting experience

He is a cold, calculating man who is not afraid to use any means necessary to accomplish his goals

He's also extremely loyal and dedicated to those he cares about and willing to do whatever it takes to protect them (Of course, only if you don't stand in his way)

He is also a great listener and is open to different perspectives

Despite all these qualities, Bondrewd can also be quite intimidating and difficult to approach. He is highly independent and prefers to rely on his own judgement, even when it comes to people in his life

Being in a relationship with Bondrewd can also be quite intense, as he has a tendency to think deeply and analyze things from all angles

"Knowledge is power, so use it wisely and never waste it"

You probably wouldn't be allowed to explore the Abyss alone - He thinks it's too dangerous and you could be in danger

Most of the time you would have to stay in Ido Front with Bondrewd

Sometimes you are allowed to explore the Abyss with him, but you have to stay close to him

Listen to him or you won't be allowed to explore the Abyss for a while

He could come off as a bit of a tyrant, but he would be willing to do anything to make sure his partner was "happy" and safe

That said, Bondrewd is also a very intelligent and shrewd man, who can read people and situations like no other

Occasional headpats

He is not a romantic person but sometimes he will make small gestures like remembering your favorite food or giving you your favorite flowers that he found during his last exploration

A relationship with him would be sure to have plenty of both excitement and challenge, as his partner would have to constantly be on their toes to keep up with him

In the beginning he will try to keep his experiments as secret as possible

But at some point it will become inevitable

If you want to leave him after learning about the experiments, you have no chance

Stay in Ido Front or die

Bondrewd is a complex and multifaceted character, and it is difficult to accurately assess how manipulative he would be in a relationship

In general, he is a very calculating figure, and he tends to use his knowledge and power to manipulate people for his own benefit

He is known for using the people around him for his own gain, and his manipulation tactics are often subtle, making it difficult for those he interacts with to identify his intentions

"The power of a single determined soul is vast and limitless"

Gaslighting... A lot

Ultimately, Bondrewd's level of manipulation in a relationship would depend largely on the situation and the people involved

Being in a toxic relationship with Bondrewd would be a difficult experience, to say the least

His controlling and manipulative behavior would be hard to deal with and he would expect nothing less than absolute obedience and loyalty from his partner

"Indeed, love is an interesting concept"

It would be an emotionally draining experience as Bondrewd would be emotionally distant but possessive, always wanting to know what his partner is doing and questioning them whenever they don't meet his expectations

The relationship would be filled with fear and power dynamics, as Bondrewd is both physically and mentally domineering. As such, it would not be a healthy or positive relationship and it is likely that neither the partner nor Bondrewd would find any joy or contentment in it

Getting kidnapped by Bondrewd would be an extremely harrowing experience

The kidnapping itself would likely be done in a way to be completely unexpected. Bondrewd is renowned for his ability to blend in with the shadows and enact his plans without anyone being aware of his intentions. He is highly skilled in the art of surprise and his actions are always calculated and well-timed

The experience of being captured by Bondrewd would undoubtedly be one of immense terror. He is known to be merciless and unyielding, with his cold and indifferent attitude rarely displaying any emotion. It would be an experience of complete powerlessness and helplessness, with no hope of escape

Bondrewd would likely use the kidnapped individual for his own selfish purposes; either as a pawn in his schemes or to gain some sort of advantage. It is clear from his history that he is not above using tactics such as blackmail, bribery and intimidation to achieve his goals

It is unlikely that anyone taken by Bondrewd would ever be seen again, or at least not in the same state as before

"Did I give you permission to leave?"

Furthermore, you would be under constant surveillance and would not have the ability to escape or attempt to talk your way out of the situation

[coldflasher]

What about Coldwave?(Len/Mick)

Ahh sorry this one took me a while to answer!

The honest answer to this one is... it's complicated. I've read fics of them and enjoyed them. I love watching them on screen together. I think their dynamic is fascinating and interesting. But do I ship it?? Maybe? Yes? No?

I think Coldwave is impossible to pin down to a basic yes or no answer. There is SO much going on with those two. They have one of the most complex and fucked up and deeply fascinating dynamics in the whole Arrowverse, in my humble opinion. Saying I ship them almost feels... reductive? Like I would almost be tempted to describe them as queerplatonic life partners but I also would not be at all surprised if their relationship had crossed lines into sexual territory and also that they might be in romantic love with each other a little bit and just too repressed to ever really address it so like. What does it all mean? They are a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a blue parka and a fireman's uniform.

Why don’t you ship it?

This one is really hard to answer because it's not that I don't ship it in theory, but I don't feel the same way about them that I do about other ships I like. I have no desire to smush their faces together and make them kiss, only occasional urges to read about them having sex, and even then I generally only like that if it's in a polyamorous way and there's someone between them to kind of mediate. I want to put them in a cage like a couple of lab rats and study them intensely to figure out what the fuck is wrong with them, but I don't get all warm and fuzzy inside when they interact.

I also have this thing with ships where like... I am a firm believer that contempt is a complete killer in a relationship. I will ship the nastiest, most toxic, unhealthy ship alive, but the people involved have to respect one another. There has to be equal footing there, and I don't necessarily feel like Coldwave has that. Particularly Doomworld Coldwave, where Len fucking. Barks at him and punches him in the face despite knowing Mick won't fight back. Like I wouldn't mind them punching EACH OTHER, but that just felt so like. Demeaning in a way that I am not into.

Even when they first showed up on the Flash, when Mick's characterization was very different (and BOY is it different, when me and my friend rewatched it, I swear I barely recognized him in his first ep) they never fully felt like equals to me. I felt like the show kind of set Mick up as secondary and not in a second-in-command kinda way, but in a way that didn't really respect him as much as a character (though I'll give them their due that this did change later on in Legends). Something about Len and Mick's dynamic has always felt skewed to me for that reason. Legends even addresses that by pointing out that Rip didn't even WANT Mick, he just treated him as an extension of Len, like fine, we'll take him because he goes where Snart does, and I feel like Len ALSO kinda treats Mick that way. Something about it has never sat right with me personally, idk. It feels like Len doesn't really respect him in the same way, he's just always taken for granted that Mick will do as he's told...

And even after saying all that there's something else that is entirely unquantifiable that just makes me like. I don't know what it is. They baffle me, honestly.

2. What would have made you like it?

I find Coldwave easier when they have someone between them as like... a barrier, I guess? Like someone else for them to focus their attentions on so they don't have to confront what they mean to one another. So I actually very much enjoy, for example, coldflashwave, where Barry is between them and seeing how they interact around him, and what that reveals about them and their relationship. It's very layered and nuanced. So I guess throwing someone else in the mix would help haha, cos they might help to temper some of the toxicity and maladaptive coping mechanisms and toxic masculinity going on in there.

Alternatively, I think if Len had been around for more of Legends and we had seen how Mick's later development changed their dynamic, that would probably have affected a lot of the things about them that make me kind of uneasy.

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Like I said, their relationship fascinates me. If I had my way, then we would get a Young Rogues show that just follows a young Len and Mick and their exploits (or even just a flashback episode, come on) because there is SO much to unpack there. They have such a rich history. I love how Mick is another person that humanizes Len because despite not treating him well a lot of the time, he really does care for him. And I love Mick calling Len out on his shit. They also have such excellent chemistry on screen no matter what the context is, which of course is probably because Dom and Wentworth are so close in real life... I could probably write whole essays on these two, as I believe I have aptly demonstrated haha

Send me a ship and I’ll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

[proffbon]

I got seduced by the idea of Companion Tav and I've been bouncing around some ideas for Saphrin (of course), mainly just themes, conflict, romance progression and personal quest, but I'm kinda stuck on the latter because I either can't think up any way to progress it to Act 3 or I write myself into a final choice which leads to Saphrin's perma death. 

And considering the endings for Karlach and Gale, the perma death option wouldn't be something out of the realm of possibilities (although Gale's death ending also ends your fucking game lol), but with Saphrin specifically, there would be no incentive to actually pursue the death route unless you have very specific views on accountability for your actions, redemption and forgiveness (or if you just hate Saphrin and want his ass gone). Basically, his situation is not exactly a lose-lose choice like Karlach's. 

It would work as a third option, like a 'bonus' to the two main ones (kinda like Karlach's mindflayer ending or the aforementioned Gale's explody one), but I just can't come up with this potential second desirable but ultimately 'bad' option.

I'm gonna go into more detail. Read if you're interested for some reason.

Saphrin's main conflict in his personal quest is basically a crisis of faith, although not as heavily accentuated as Shadowheart's one. It's more of a crisis of morality fueled by faith. In short, any kind of divine belief that Saphrin adopted throughout his life he didn't exactly 'choose' himself. It was all more or less compulsory or habitual. Being raised as a Lolthite noble, he worshipped Lolth. Because if he didn't, he would die (in the best case scenario). Once he escaped and was rescued by the Eilistraeean clergy, he started ardently worshipping Eilistraee. Even though his worship of Eilistraee is a more willing one, it's still largely influenced by 1) indebtitude to his rescuers, 2) the feeling of intense guilt he has for torturing and killing Tanrien, a surface elf cleric who, in a way, opened Saphrin's eyes to the unfortunate situation he was living in, gave him enough courage (or rather desperation) to escape and effectively 'saved' him from a society that would most likely destroy him, body and mind.

Sure, Saphrin believes in Eilistraee's doctrines, he especially wants to breach the schism between the surface elves and drow (in large part due to immense respect for Tanrien's fighting spirit and his willingness to reach out to Saphrin, even though he was one of Tanrien's tormentors, in fact this man is one of the main reasons Saphrin decided to be a cleric specifically). Saphrin was, after all, quite soft-hearted for a Lolthite, although he didn't really mind certain parts of drow society or at least didn't question them at the time. Some aspects he even enjoyed, seeing how Saphrin's military service is still a fond memory for him. During the main adventure, he has yet to get rid of all his old habits. Sometimes he resorts to violence a bit too quickly, he also often worries that he might say something most people would consider cruel and not realise it. But I digress. 

The so-called 'crisis of faith' comes in the form of a question: why are you doing all this? Why help the weak and unfortunate? Why get so invested in your companions' personal troubles? In my base bg3 playthrough, it's more or less resolved through internal musings and reflection on his relationship with others (and with his romantic partner in particular).

But in a companion scenario, it's something that, I think, has to be triggered. The best trigger I could come up with is Saphrin meeting someone who used to be close with Tanrien (a friend or a family member), which forces Saphrin to reflect on this event that he was trying to move on from for 11 years since his escape. It would also allow him to gain some new perspectives and insight into the situation from other companions, NPCs and the 'player'. Most likely it would have to ultimately come down to Tanrien, as he is the catalyst of this entire thing. I think quite a big part of it all would be Saphrin thinking which course of action would be right to both honor his faith and Tanrien's memory. 

In theory, it would result in two conclusions:

1) Saphrin decides that the main reason for his faith is penance for what he did to Tanrien and that the ultimate fulfillment of his beliefs would be giving himself up to be killed (and potentially tortured) by the person who lost someone dear to them due to Saphrin's actions. Eilistraee, after all, teaches to strike down evil without hesitation. He should be a villain from Tanrien's perspective, and he certainly is one from Tanrien's confidant's. And he is evil, is he not? Why else would he be so violent, why else would he still say cruel things without thinking, why else would he recall his soldier days with such warmth? Perhaps the reason his goddess reached out to him in the first place would be for Saphrin to reach this exact conclusion - he himself is the evil that needs to be struck down, to make this world better for everyone. It would end with Saphrin vowing that once they deal with the Absolute, he would be at the mercy of Tanrien's friend/family member. This obviously being the aforementioned bad option, because you keep reinforcing Saphrin's guilt and saying that even though Saphrin basically had no real choice but to commit horrible actions in the name of Lolth, even though right now he is acting as a force of good and helping everyone he meets, ultimately his penance is more important and he should be punished for what he did.

2) Saphrin decides that the main reason for his faith is the happiness of the ones he loves and cares about. It may not be about some abstract greater good or divine balance of good and evil, but it's something he wasn't able to repay Tanrien with, because it was too late for him. Saphrin's spiritual fulfillment would be seeing his friends and lover happy, unburdened, loved, as he himself was once deprived of all this prior to meeting his 'savior'. So, in this scenario, Saphrin would come to Tanrien's friend/family member and ask for their forgiveness. He would say that they are not obligated to forgive him or even believe that his guilt is genuine, but the only thing he can't afford right now is give up and die. He wants to show other people in the world that there's someone who cares about them, even if it's only one person. Even if it's just an adventurer passing by on his quest. The greatest feat he can perform in service to Lady Silverhair is showing the same kindness he once received himself. Even if it's something little, because sometimes that little something is enough to save someone's life. And, as it seems, the best way to bring happiness to the lives of his friends and lover, would be to stay with them, love them, be loved by them and, most importantly, allow himself to be happy too.

So, as you can see, there's not a lot of incentive to go the first route unless you actually believe that Saphrin should be punished no matter what, or if you become susceptible to his latent suicidal tendencies and start believing it's something he genuinely wants and needs.

Although, I don't know, maybe I'm a bit blindsided by my obvious love for my own child and there actually would be some demand for the first route, if only for the sake of tragedy or evil roleplay. Maybe it can be made to look like a desirable option through Saphrin continually insisting that it's something he should do. Idk.

The other angle could be Saphrin implying that your incessant attempts to change his mind are in some way an attempt to control him and his decisions. This could even work well for a romance-based conflict, because Saphrin has experience of being with a lover he did not love or want in any way, but who he was too afraid to cross, thus securing the time they were together as one of the most miserable parts of his life.

He probably would also need to distance himself from Eilistraee a bit (I'm thinking of him neglecting to perform his Evensong now and then because he's too ashamed of 'telling' her what's going on with him), because I can't imagine Eilistraee being entirely on board with Saphrin's wack logic. And yeah, it's kinda implied Saphrin is following Eilistraee's dogmas without fully understanding them (as I said before, compulsory faith), mostly because he's so deep in self-flagellation that he doesn't even notice the contradictions. Perhaps because of being raised as a Lolthite, he even subconsciously focuses more on the destructive/restrictive parts of the code and the perceived punishment rather than the overall hopeful messaging.

[pangolinheart]

Ooh the potentially disastrous ship ask game! Yay!

Riol Forrest (why be obvious hehe)

Hahaha I can honestly say I've never considered Riol and Rhiki as a couple before!

Sadly, I don't think they'd have a disastrous relationship. We get a detailed backstory for Riol, but we don't get much about his personality other than what you can infer from his dialogue. I do remember thinking that Rhiki would probably get along well with him when I was playing the ARR post-patches. Along with Alianne and Wilred, he was probably one of Crystal Braves she liked the most. He seems very reliable, and pretty even-keeled, which would provide a stabilizing force that Rhiki's life would probably benefit from. Rhiki is prone to emotional highs and lows, so having someone with a consistent (not necessarily good, but consistent) temperament to rely on helps to ground her a bit. It also seems like Riol has a sense of humor (though I could be wrong - we don't get to see him very much after ARR) and is good-natured enough, so I think they could probably have fun together. Riol also has some of the same basic values, such as the idea of the powerful having a responsibility to defend those without power. While he does mention cheating at cards, his behavior in the ARR post-patches suggest that he's honest when honesty count, which is what Rhiki would count as important (as long as he's not cheating while playing games against her.)

I'm not sure how they would originally decide to get together. They both are almost too "go with the flow" to take the intentional step towards initiating a relationship. Riol is also significantly older than Rhiki (in ARR he's 37, when Rhiki was only 22-23.) I could almost see it being something they just kind of slide into as a path of least resistance. Some time in the future, with neither of them ever really "falling in love" and having it work out, they're both bored and vaguely lonely and they get along well enough as casual friends and coworkers so they shrug and think "why not?" They could both use the company,

Whether or not it's particularly romantic, they would have a relatively functional and stable relationship, I'm not sure how exciting it would be. Riol does reconnaissance work, which could be dangerous, but he also doesn't seem too ambitious, or to have a dream or passion he's working toward. Rhiki is just kind of along for the ride. She'd keep doing her part as Warrior of Light as long as necessary. They might worry about each other, but not to an extreme. The only real conflict I can see in their relationship would be the product of Rhiki processing a lot of the traumatic experiences she has. Sometimes her behavior can be a bit erratic, which could cause tension. And sometimes when she feels like the real "her" is being overwritten by the narrative of the Warrior of Light, she gets the urge to... act out. To make bad choices to prove to herself that she's a normal, flawed person, and not an idealized symbol of hope for people to look to in times of strife. I'm not sure how well Riol would take this, but he seems secure and stable enough that he would be understanding unless she really did something that crossed a line.

Overall, I think they're probably not soulmates, and there wouldn't be much intensity in their relationship, but they would both be content with it in the end.

(Send in a character and I'll tell you what a ship between them and Rhiki would look like; good, bad, or otherwise.)

[goodshipskypirate]

Incidentally, I don't think Zale and Valere has any romantic bone in their bodies. I feel they were too focused on their solstice training and thrown quickly into their mission and, eventually, a whole ass Saving the World plot that they didn't even consider the possibility of dating, let alone had time to process such.

These two would be absolute wrecks in the dating scene, but in that awkward young adults working through the hurdles sort of thing. Zale would be the adorable loser who would immediately blush holding someone's hands, let alone kiss. Valere would at least read up safe sex and has enough of a cool head that she only gives off the illusion that she'd know what to do on a date. But she totally does not.

I could see Serai dating once she's saved her world. I feel she would do a lot of things now that she can finally let loose and be vulnerable and happy. I'd picture she'd date a lot of people just because she's riding high on the peace and freedom she can now afford to have.

And that's her God given right! Sleep with multiple partners, Serai. You earned it.

B'st? Given his instant admiration for Resh'an, I can absolutely see this dork capable of falling in love at first sight. Or at the least, just jazzed that he can feel love at such intensity that if he wasn't already pink, he would be by end. He's very much a guy who wants to live and explore everything; he would embrace love and romance with the utmost gusto.

But also, he wouldn't make much mistakes and would be quite graceful about it. After all, he IS the oldest member of the crew. Well, chronologically. There's nothing in the game that tells us what age he died, so perhaps he, too, is rather fresh-faced, but the narrative has often treated B'st as someone who is significantly more worldly and knowledgeable than people give him credit for. He totally knows his way around a significant other, is what I am saying. I think he and Garl has the best shots of having a marriage that will last.

...I don't even NEED to elaborate on Resh'an. He's probably the one who had the most experienced in a relationship, but that came with about 65 million multiverses and a millennia of baggage. He and Aephorul is absolutely the couple in divorce court sorting out their beanie baby collection in front of a judge.

So there's a moment when the team is picking out a sea shell so they can breathe underwater where Garl specifically asks Serai, out of everyone, what she thinks about the shell he picked out.

There's another moment during the Golden Pelican dinner where he praises Serai very highly, though that may not mean much since he's toasting/praising everyone.

And finally, we got his thoughts while he's relaxing in the spa, where he considers telling Serai... something.

So, I gotta ask: does Garl have a crush on Serai? Because if so, that's cute as fuck. It's obvious this is a one-sided admiration (Serai has far too much on her plate to deal with romance right now, I bet), one that clearly isn't going anywhere, but I like his attraction is rather subtle for a guy like him.

Garl's never shy about his true feelings and opinions, but it's quite cute that he keeps his possible crush on Serai on the down low. Like any young adult who's probably not well-versed in the ways of love, he keeps this feeling largely to himself, and by the time he even considers telling her, she's likely gone home already.

I can see this as a fading crush, one that disappears as quickly as it came; Garl will always see Serai as a true companion first before a potential romantic partner, but for a time, it was nice that his heart was all a-fluttered.

[jettman1970]

Well, it's a new year. I'm excited about my future without Samantha. I loved her dearly and I still do. I initiated No Contact again. Let me tell you what she did to me.

We broke up the last week of June. We were in our couples therapy session. She said it in front of the therapist and was very adamant and made it very clear to both me and the therapist that she no longer had any interest whatsoever in being in a romantic relationship with me. She said we could be friends but that was it.

It was a week or so after that that I came across that YouTube video that finally gave me the answers I had been looking for. From there I watched more videos, read books and online forums. Talked to other people and learned as much as I could.

We remained friends for a month or so after that when she finally cut me off and went no contact and blocked me basically because I had stopped giving her narcissist supply. She had also found and befriended a therapist prior to blocking me. She wasn't an official patient because she wasn't paying him. It was more of a mentorship as I was later told. The way she talked about him I knew she blocked me because I figured this guy was her New Supply. I was no longer needed, especially since I wasn't giving her any supply.

I was miserable during no contact, but I finally knew she is a narcissist and what was going on and I was determined to never see or talk to her again.

September 15. Very late in the afternoon, I'm getting ready to get off work soon. I suddenly hear her text tone. My heart is in my throat. My stomach is in knots. She texted me!?. She's never broken no contact before. Because of the trauma bond she created, I was always the one to do it.

I debated myself for a few minutes whether or not I should respond. Well, I did.

Turns out, she's at the emergency room. She had to have an outpatient surgery that morning. After she got home that morning, she decided to make lunch and she started having chest pains and dizzy and short of breath. She called an ambulance and now she's in the emergency room. She can't talk on the phone because of where she's at, so we're texting only. I finally get off work and go to the hospital. I'm in the waiting room thinking she's going to be admitted and just waiting to go back to see her.

I'm on my phone playing a game while waiting and all of a sudden she's standing there saying let's go.

Turns out she's been there for hours and because she went by ambulance she didn't grab her pain meds from the surgery. The ER wouldn't give her any meds and was basically ignoring her.

She called her surgeon and told him what was going on. We went back to her new apartment got pain meds and went to another hospital that her surgeon told her to go to. He called them and they were waiting for her.

The surgery she had was on her hand. It was a pretty intense surgery and she couldn't use her hand or arm.

I hadn't spoken with her in over a month so I'm trying to piece together what is going on. I asked how she got to the hospital that morning. Turns out, her therapist friend picked her up and took her. He also picked her up afterwards and took her home. She wasn't too happy with him because he didn't cater to her as much as she thought he should have. He basically pulled up to the apartment building and let her out. And he was basically gone before she got into the apartment.

I never met or talked to him but based on things she told me about conversations they had prior to her blocking me the last time, he didn't have a very high opinion of me.

So because of his treatment, she reached out to me. The one person in her universe that she knew would help her. Would come to her aid, no matter what. And I did. I came to her aid. I felt sorry for her. And of course I still love her deeply. She tells everyone that I don't. And creates situations where I'm not able to do or be there for her when she needs it most. All in the name of making me out to be the bad guy and something she can point to and say "See, look how he's treating me. He doesn't care"

So, after surgery, she needs assistance with common tasks. Her son lived with her at the time, so he could do some of it. But, as far as hygiene goes there was no one she felt comfortable enough with having help her shower and whatnot. She asked if I would be willing to help. I of course did.

So after work every day, I would go over to her apartment and help her get a shower, wash her hair, help her get dressed, etc.

I knew from the start that I was just being used. That as soon as she was well enough, I would be gone again. But I couldn't help myself. I couldn't say no. I was compelled to help her.

Within the week of me being back in the picture, her therapist friend finds out that I'm helping her and he pretty much tells her to get bent and no longer is talking to her.

So I'm in therapy myself. My therapist is the same one that she was seeing and is the same one that we were seeing for couples counseling. So she knows both sides. I tell her what's going on. I tell her about the therapist friend. I thought their relationship was kinda inappropriate to begin with but my therapist is now questioning it. The whole patient, client and ethics thing. The whole thing looks highly inappropriate. Dude could lose his license.

Anyway, I'm not happy about helping her. I don't really want to do it. But I feel sorry for her and I know there's no one else that can or will. And I just can't say no.

So, that night, I decided to question her more about the relationship with her and the therapist. I asked her about him violating ethics and whatnot. She said she asked him about that as well. His response was that they were good because they were friends and she wasn't paying him or seeing him for regular appointments. And that their relationship was more of a mentorship because he was also helping her get back into school and get into the psychology field.

She then proceeded to rip my heart out of my chest and stomp it into mush right in front of me. In hindsight I should of left her standing there in the shower and walked out and never looked back. But this fucking trauma bond....ugh. I couldn't do it. Even after what she JUST FUCKING SAID! After she told me what he said, she then told me that he is so supportive and that she's never had good support from anyone she's ever dated. And she deserves a relationship with that kind of support and she's going to find that man.

I'm standing there in the bathroom looking at her in the shower say this to me just after I washed her hair, scrubbed her body and everything else I've done for her. In my head, I'm saying "Do you not hear yourself!?" The only person on the planet that is willing to stand here doing what I'm doing and she has the fucking nerve to say that to me.

I live almost an hour drive from her apartment. After that night on the drive home, I cry like I never have. Thinking about all the things I've done for her. All the times she's shown me how she truly is and I couldn't see it. The realization that I poured my heart into the relationship trying to make us work thinking she felt the same only to get punched in the face like that. She doesn't and never has cared about me. It's so hard trying to wrap my head around that. Even now, months later I still struggle with that realization. Narcissists are the cruelest people on the planet.

She gradually gets better from her surgery and is able to take care of herself again. I'm not needed for showers anymore. Good.

Around this time, she lets one of her very good friendships implode. I don't know why. He's a gay man that she used to work with a while back. They've been friends since I first met her. Although, I never met him, I actually liked him. I think he's a pretty decent guy. He seemed to be a really good friend to her and gave her support when her and I were having issues. I don't know what he really thinks about me. She once told me that he loves me, but he wants to punch me in the face. I have no idea if that is true or not. Narcissists smear people badly. I know she's smeared me relentlessly. That's why I couldn't ever meet anyone she knew. I couldn't even go into the chiropractors office with her once because she didn't want them to know her and I were together. Who knows what she's told them.

Anyway, this guy lives in Florida. I think distance is the only reason we haven't met. I've been with her while she's on speaker phone with him and we've even said a few things to each other. So I don't really know where I stand with him. I've reached out on Instagram,so we'll see.

So there was a miscommunication from what I can tell between the two of them. It started while her and I were no contact but she showed me the texts. Yeah, she blame shifting and thinking he's putting all the blame on her and she's pissed off. She blocks him. I try to reason with her. I say it's just a miscommunication. You should reach out and fix it. But her ego and pride got in the way.

So we're carrying on. I'm trying to maintain a certain distance because I don't want my heart broken yet again.

Somewhere in all this, a couple of Mormon missionaries approach her outside of her apartment. She engaged with them and liked what she heard and they exchanged numbers and are now communicating. She eventually goes to their church, bible studies etc and generally talks about how supportive they all are and that's what she needs. I think, well actually I know, this is New Supply!! I'm somewhat expecting her to invite me to start going with her. Except she doesn't.

I expect the discard to come any day. Except that it doesn't. We end up hanging out sometimes over the next few months, I help her around the apartment building things for her etc. We go to dinner a few times.

She stayed the night with me once. We were intimate. I stayed at her place a couple of times. Once we were intimate as well. I never brought up the subject of getting back together. She never did either. If she started bringing up heavy topics that went down that road, I wouldn't engage. I was treating her as a "friend". I didn't want to get back into it with her again because I knew exactly what would happen if I did.

So we carried on as friends and we ended up being together at Thanksgiving. On into December my boss has a party. I bring her along because I'm trying to get her a job with his wife. Everything is good. I've been getting the sense she wants to get back together. We don't talk about it. I'm not really keen on the idea but I'm not necessarily opposed. I just want to take things really slow and see what happens. I know it's likely never going to work but deep down, I still have this tiny hope that she'll come around. Her son also moved out and back to California during this time.

About the middle of December, a homeless teen is murdered in the hallway of the apartment building next to hers. She's got anxiety and now it's kicking into overdrive. She's only just moved in a few months ago but is now looking for a new place.

This next part, I think might have been preplanned or a setup due to the circumstances. So she's out one morning before work looking at apartments. This is the Thursday before Christmas. Its raining, a lot. She's back in the leasing office after having viewed an apartment. She ends up slipping with her wet shoes and falls on her side. She can barely move, but she's able to get in the car and drive to the emergency room. I'm at work. I now have a new boss that doesn't afford me the liberties that my old boss did. I can't just take off.

She texted me saying she was in the ER. I called her and we talked. She told me what happened and that they might admit her but she wanted to go home but she would need someone to take care of her for several days because she can't move her arm because she landed on her shoulder. She also feels like she has broken something in her hip area. She asked if I had plans for Christmas. I hadn't yet decided if I was going to go visit my kids yet. But I tell her "Not really" She wasn't satisfied with that and asked sternly what I meant by that. I affirm it by saying that I had no plans for Christmas. I tell her that I have to work Friday so I couldn't sit with her all day. She's not happy about it and decided to stay in the hospital.

I don't know what it is but I was mad at this point. I was mad because I'm the only one that will answer that call but in the back of my mind I just knew she was taking advantage of me. My intuition I guess. I had a feeling she was milking it.

She wants me to bring her some things at the ER since she's going to be in the hospital for a bit. So I agree and after work I head to Walmart to get what she wants. When I'm finally able to get there she's upset and says she didn't think I was coming. I give the things she asked for and visit for a bit before they kicked me out and took her to her room. I told her I would see her tomorrow after work. I visited the next night and told her I would see her Saturday. So I stopped by Saturday morning and visited. They released her that afternoon. She ended up not breaking anything. Just bruised and beat up pretty good. She's able to get out of bed and go potty and whatnot.

I'm still under the assumption that I would be sitting with her over the weekend. We get to her place and she lets me do my laundry there. While that's going I find out she's going to church tomorrow. Christmas day. She then tells me that she's going to a lunch afterwards. 🤔. Okay. So laundry finished and I was expecting her to ask if I would stay. She never did. Sent me home. Okay. No problem. She's getting around okay. I'm thinking I'll just see her tomorrow. Christmas morning, I text her a Merry Christmas. She didn't respond for over a half hour. I didn't follow up to her response for a bit after that. I asked her how she was feeling. Sore. She had just gotten done with church.

I then asked her what time her dinner was. She told me. And she then mentioned she had plans after that too and that she's a busy woman.

🤔🤔

Okay, so I asked her what time she was going to be home. "Why?" she asked. I told her I have Christmas gifts for her. She then proceeded to get mad at me. And we texted back and forth a little bit. The gist is, is that she made plans because she never knows about me. I don't communicate. I was just with her yesterday and we could have exchanged gifts then.

She texted me a little while later saying she didn't think she was going to stay long at the lunch because she was hurting. Okay. Late in the afternoon, she texted again saying she wasn't planning on staying that long but she's going home to get ready for her next plans. Which was a date with someone. I assume it's someone from the Mormon church.

So, she milked her injuries enough to get me to commit to take care of her through Christmas. Disrupting any plans I might have had or decided to do just so I could make sure she was taken care of. Never once mentioned that she had plans for Christmas Day. I was actually looking forward to spending a little time with her on Christmas day.

I could have gone to see my kids for Christmas. She knew that, but now, half way through Christmas, she tells me this. So I never got to see her Christmas day. I have no family here. I only have friends from work so I can't exactly pop into their house for Christmas. I ended up spending Christmas completely alone because of her.

Why the fuck didn't she get her date to visit her in the hospital? Take her home? Do those things for her? Why couldn't she invite me to be her plus one for the Christmas lunch? I had her for my plus one at my boss's party. I figure that she didn't have me as a plus one is because she was the plus one or the guy she had a date with Christmas night was at the lunch.

Covert Narcissists are notorious for ruining holidays and special events. I should have seen this coming. I literally can't believe she fucked me like that. Ugh, I'm so fucking mad. Never again.

[anxietiefling]

things that, according to my headcanon, are objectively true:

essek spent over 120 years as a new soul speedily conquering the social ladder of a society that has no value for novelty and is heavily, canonically, competitive and “survival of the fittest”-minded. you can pick the drow out of the underdark like a zoo tycoon figure, but that won’t eliminate the fact that drow canonically have a harsh as fuck mindset about survival, as well as a pragmatic sense of familial structures. (the forgotten realms wiki was a great read on that and i still am in awe of matt mercer if he intended that subtle, yet meaningful connection.)

someone with essek’s intellect, though emotionally even less available then the average customer support hotline, would not be successful in what he does without being able to recognize flirting and utilising it in turn. so, i say: essek knows how he comes across, he knows what he looks like, he wields both of those things like a weapon in his arsenal. he is one of those people who can make you read everything into the tiniest bit of attention and then even more in the withdrawal of the same. he’s perfected the moth to flame thing without ever actually compromising his own need for personal space and solitude - too many risks in actually getting involved with someone. i say, he’s never had the slightest interest nor inclination towards an emotional or physical relationship, not only because he's demi, but because it was never of any value. he spent his whole 120-year-something-life without it and was fully fine with it. at most, he kissed two people as a teenager and decided it wasn't worth the hype.

until the nein fuck his life and his worldview up, enable him to actually consider other peoples needs and wants as a valid and important part of his universe, and basically create the foundation for him to consider a romantic and/or physical relationship as an option. imho, he could not actually have been genuinely in love with caleb during the whole of canon, because he didn’t even have the emotional capacity to fall in love - and when he does, his unique relationship with caleb just gains a new facet. there was attraction, yes, fascination, sure, but nothing he wouldn't have understood (and used to his advantage) before.

also. that man is so fucking touch starved. touch-famined. touch-bereft, if you will. once touch becomes an option, he’s probably to overwhelmed to ask for it, and when it’s freely offered, even more so by caleb, who is so. fucking. tactile, it takes him a loooooong time to recognize his need for it and express it. i’m convinced he’ll never be a particularly cuddly person. he’s more of a “intense hugs”-guy. his idea of a pet name is caleb's full name. caleb said "lifelong friends" after the end of their romantic relationship, but i'm convinced essek loves and is devoted to caleb in ways incomprehensible to somone who doesn't have his lifespan. to him, that relationship never ends, it just changes.

i fucking love sexy, seductive, manipulative spymaster!essek headcanons and fic, and i love demisexual-romantic-panic-120-year-old-virgin!essek fic. and i love "this human and our friends changed me fundamentally and my love for them is as intense as i am as a person"!essek, the neutral evil apple of my eye. i just love essek.