#also mate what did you think of ep 24

[skyeoak]

No that’s not fiction that happened to a mutual friend of mine

waiting for a period-themed flesh casement where you think they’re bad cramps, but it’s just your uterus clawing its way through your skin, falling on the floor with a splat, and walking away

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - 2 GREAT Shows but everything else is kinda blah

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top. Happy new year, BLabies!

Jan 2024 Wk 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 9 of 12 - This show is really earning its chops, and these actors are executing beautifully. I think this is a great BL, and it reminds me quite a bit of ATOTS, only the physical comfort between the actors is more genuine and easy to watch. Unfortunately a guitar came out. Nice communication tho.

That was a very lovely romantic sex scene. Very prettily done. Classy boys, very classy.

Gah what a beautiful final scene with Day saying the last thing he wants to see is Mhork. Pure unadulterated romance of the highest order.

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 7 of 12 - If killer, why hot? Poor Tarn compelled to try to rescue everyone else from their fate, because he cannot save himself from his.

Meanwhile Phaya is finally learning that you catch more water snakes with honey lube than vinegar.

Stellar confession from Phaya brutally honest and very fated mates.

And another lovely sex scene, so I guess that was a vision and not a fantasy Tharn had.

Lets be clear those two shows were GREAT everything else this week was kinda blah.  

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 6 of 12 - I find the backstory very odd. Are they twins? What happened to Blue? Am I meant to care? Do I care? 

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 10 of 12 - I mostly just feel sorry for First. He’s so rightfully confused. Zee/Sprite keeps blowing hot and cold because they two different people! The after sex cuddle was cute. 

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 8 of 14 - Love getting more JeffAlan. Also I switch favorite character allegiances in the trash watch happening here.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 6 of 12 - Didn’t air this week and I hardly noticed. 

You and My Stars YT 1 of 2(?) - school kids, love triangle, it’s cute enough.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) 1626 ep 20 of 24 - Just so boring. 3/10 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 8 of 10 - I’m not into the love triangle. Although I kind of like the new suitor, he’s honest and a good communicator. I appreciate these things in a BL boy. But I begin to wonder if triangles should be left for KBL. Also, this should have been an 8 epper, 10 is too long.

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 8 - No ep until Jan 12 

I Became the Main Role of a BL (Japan Sun Gaga) ep 1-3 - AKA BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen - A rising star is paired with an (older) former child actor (doesn’t think he’s good enough) in a BL series. It’s fun, built on a dynamic of off screen paralleling the on screen, so near constantly meta. All the tropes are there but are as a result of the filming process. The star turns out to be obsessed with the former actor and very dorky about it. In fact, everyone in this show is a little gremlin weirdo (affectionate). There’s tons of scenery chewing miscommunication drama, slapstick, voice over head hopping, and eccentric sides characters. “And he comes with feathers” applies to a number of my friends. You know I don’t like stories around fan obsession, but otherwise this was enjoyable. 8/10

A nice start to the JBL year. Keep em coming, Japan.  

It's done I Need to Catch up

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have a spare day.

It's Airing But...

[INTERNATIONAL] Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like. Read all about it here.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

Night Dream (Sat YT) 6 eps - It’s a pain to track down and I really didn’t like the first episode so… DNF  

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if safe.

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) - horror, meh, tell me if it's worth my time?

In Case You Missed it

All my year end round ups (so far) are as follows:

TOP 10 BL Trends of 2023

Top 10 BL Secondary Pairs of 2023

2023 BLs Best Trope Execution Awards! TOP 10

Best Back Hugs Thailand & Elsewhere

BL 2023 - Cute Bits of Domesticity

BL 2023 - Boys Feeding Boys

BL 2023 - BOOP!

All the BLs Announced for 2023 that didn't happen

Next Week Looks Like This

Starting This Week:

1/9 Time the series (Thai Gaga, WeTV, Channel 3) 10 eps - MFlow Entertainment brings us yet another "fix the past" narrative. After witnessing the gunning down of his beloved, a heartbroken actor uses a magic pocket watch to go back in time and discover the truth and maybe fix it.

1/11 Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Gaga) - Soga, who, after a divorce and relocation to Osaka, seeks solace in dining at 26-year-old Sakae's restaurant. Unbeknownst to Soga, Sakae sees him as more than just a regular customer.

More Coming Jan 2024

Beside You (Thai YouTube)

Love For Love's Sake (Korea ????)- based on the Manhwa ‘Love Supremacy Zone’ by Hwacha. A young man is dropped into a game based off a novel he loves. His mission is to make another player, YeoWoon happy. But then the game starts unfolding completely different from the novel.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan ????) - five years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so... probubly not. I won't be watching this.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Yes, you SHOULD apologize!

This was a FANTASTIC moment! Last Twilight

Night Dream referencing the Shrimp Trope.

Some didn't like this bit BUT I love a claiming moment, even in a briefing room... especially there.

I ALSO love a good Grandma Moment in a BL.

Such a good sex scene. The Sign

(Last week)

[garebearandnan]

Love Island: EP16 Aftersun 2

At the VIP table is Gary's Nan, Helen.

Gary's nan, Helen: I’m pretty sure if any of us had a camera on us 24/7 at 20-23, there’d be some pretty damning footage.

Helen: I reckon when he gets home, I'll send him to the freezer for a bit.

SUMMARY: Love Island: Aftersun is filmed at BT Studios in Stratford, East London with a live audience. It airs live every Sunday at 10pm for an hour and five minutes, straight after the main show. The show consists of interviews with dumped Islanders, friends and family members and also features celebrity guests.

HOST: O.M.G. with an extra-G. What a week our Islanders have had! There’s been some spicy drama, from Operation Nope to secrets revealed, dumpings, dates, a recoupling, and new bombshells. But before we get into all of that, tonight we have a S1 Love Island legend behind the bar. Give it up for Talia, everyone! And keeping those barstools warm, we’ve got Henrik and Rocco, who will be giving their first interview since leaving the villa. And at our VIP table, we have Gary’s nan, Helen, and his best mate, Dickie.

New Bonue Chapter on A03 and wattpad

TEASER SCRIPT- read full script on A03 or Wattpad. Links above.

The camera pans to Talia, behind the bar and the two ex-Islanders sitting at the bar, who all smile and wave. And at our VIP table, we have Gary’s nan, Helen, and his best mate, Dickie.

Audience: CHEERING and APPLAUSE

Caroline: While 3 may be a crowd as far as Hope is concerned, but for us, it’s the magic number. Please welcome my naughty trio; it’s our panel: Superfans AJ Odudu, HRVY, and Mollie King.

CLIP PLAYS:

Chelsea: Oh my goodness! I’m on my way to the Villa. I can’t believe I’m actually going in there. I’m just so excited to see the villa and meet everyone. Gosh, they all seem so lush.

Jakub: I’m buzzing to get into the villa. These guys have been here for like ten days. Obviously, they’re a bit comfortable, but you know, hopefully when I come in, they’ll get a bit of me stepping on a few toes, which I am used to. I got really big feet. (He laughs.)

CLIP ENDS.

Caroline: Well, he did say, HRVY, that he’s willing to step on toes. Whose toes do you think he'll step on?

HRVY: Yeah! I’m going to curveball. I think he’s gonna step on Noahs.

AJ: Let’s just be honest. I mean Jakub makes the rest of the guys look like preschoolers. 

Caroline: AJ, what were your first impressions of Chelsea?

AJ: I like her and her high-energy! She’s bubbly and sweet. I think she’s gonna do really well.

Caroline: Just when one drama calms down, along comes Chelsea dropping the news about a secret kiss. Let’s remind everyone of that moment when she dropped the truth bomb.

CLIP PLAYS:

Chelsea: Lottie, I thought you were supposed to be the loyal one?

Lottie: I am!

Chelsea: Then how did you end up snogging Gary when you knew that Grace had something going on with him?

Grace: What the hell! So, that night, when Gary had to choose between Marisol and Hannah at the recoupling, Lottie cracked on with him!

Marisol: Wait, you kissed Gary when we’d only just couple up?

CLIP ENDS.

Caroline: Well, tonight we have two people who know Gary very well indeed. Please welcome his nan, Helen, and best friend, Dickie. 

Caroline: I got to ask: What’s on everyone’s lips. Helen, is your Sunday roast as good as Gary says?

Helen: I am a good cook. My roasties are up there. I think Gordon Ramsay-

~~~~~

Caroline: Do you feel there is any hope for Bobby and Lottie in the romance section? The girls keep saying he’s a nice, sweet guy, he’s certainly attractive.

AJ: I like Bobby. He has such a playful and boyish energy. I think he still has a crush on Grace. Maybe Priya too.

HRVY: I think Bobby has good chemistry with several of the girls, and after a night in the hideaway, maybe something a little bit more than that with Lottie. He’s still trying to figure it all out.

~~~~~

S1 Talia at the Bar

Caroline: Talia, You know what it's like to be in there at the start. Especially if you haven’t found the right person. Is it important to lay it on thick and pick one person quite quickly or should you be holding back and waiting?

Talia: I think, early doors for many Islanders still, it’s good to keep your options open. If you put all your eggs in one basket, it can be very difficult and it can end up shooting you in the foot.

Caroline: What are your thoughts on Bobby and Lottie?

Talia: I think now it’s very much a friendship vibe. He does seem to care about her well-being. I like seeing that fun side of her when she’s just chilling with him.

~~~~~

In The Beach Hut

Caroline: Live from the Beach Hut, it’s Gary, everyone!

Gary appears on the big screen sitting in the wicker chair in the Beach Hut.

Caroline: How is life in the villa treating you?

Gary: Oh, amazing. I can’t moan can I? I’m in paradise. It’s probably gonna be one of the best summer’s of my life, to be honest.

Caroline: So, we thought we’d play a quick game of Rate Your Mate, since there seems to be a lot of bromances this year. Are you ready to spill the tea?

Gary: Yeah, I’m up for it. Let’s do it.

Caroline: Who is the messiest?

Gary: Me.

LAUGHTER

Caroline: Gary, who has the best banter out of the boys?

Gary: Er, the best banter has got to be Bobby. I feel like he’s been my favourite on ‘ere.

Caroline: Who has the best gym bod?

Gary: Erm… Jakub, the lad’s a beast.

Caroline: Moving on. Tell me, who takes the longest to get ready?

Gary: Oh. (he groans) Aw, mate! I’d say probably Lucas. All the hair gel.

~~~~~

Caroline: What do you think about Marisol and Lucas?

AJ: I think they make an attractive couple. They're both attractive and intelligent, but I think that’s it for commonality. I don’t see any chemistry between them. I think they're both place holders for each other.

Caroline: Ouch!

~~~~~

Caroline: It’s Henrik and Rocco!

Rocco: I didn’t think I’d be going today, to be honest. I was meant to be making Marisol breakfast tomorrow morning.

Henrik: I think I was supposed to be having a bubble bath with Lucas tomorrow.

Caroline: I know, it's not even been a week, but as you said, it feels like a long time. People already have connections. You’ve kinda got to be Mr. Steal Your Girl.

Henrik: Mm-hm. Some were pretty closed off, so it was definitely hard. It’s tough to come in and try to make an impact. You know, a few started to crack a little bit towards the end. But nonetheless, I had a lot of fun and still did what a bombshell should do.

Caroline: All right. Rocco, you were getting to know Marisol. Are you disappointed that you didn’t have more time to explore that further?

Rocco: Yeah, definitely. Time is always so fleeting when you don’t want it to be. Hopefully, I’ve given her something to remember me by. Our spirits are really aligned, like, cosmically.

~~~~~

Caroline: Alright, let’s get back to our couples. Obviously, tonight we’ve seen things kick off between Hope and Noah. But let’s go back a couple of days and talk about ‘Operation Nope.’ AJ, you want to start?

AJ: It's Love Island. You don't have to make excuses to graft! Just admit you’re into Noah and own your shit.

HRVY: And poor Ibrahim! He's just sitting there, like, "okay.” 

AJ: I was truly baffled by Bobby's underlying motivation for doing this. He seems to be close with every girl, so it could be that he is simply showing his support for her.

~~~~~

Caroline: Just wondering, does anyone fancy another quick trip to Mallorca? We have a special treat now. Welcome to Aftersun, Chelsea and Grace!

Both girls wave both hands excitedly and smile brightly.

Caroline: Chelsea, you’ve settled in really, really well. How have the Islanders made you feel welcome?

Chelsea: Yeah. Oh, my God, they’re all diamonds. Honestly, straight away, I feel like I’m just part of the weird family.

Caroline: Let’s find out how well you know your fellow Islanders. Are you ready?

Caroline: Jakub’s worst habit is biting his nails. Is that true or false?

Caroline: Lottie… had a Justin Bieber poster under her bed. Is that true or false?

Caroline: Hope’s secret talent is playing the guitar. Is that true or false?

~~~~~

Caroline: it’s time for another week of quickie with our islanders.

Chelsea: What is your biggest guilty pleasure?

Lucas: That’s top secret! We have to maintain some mystery. 

Bobby: What superpower would you choose?

Chelsea: I’d wanna read minds, so totes. Think of the gossip you’d hear! I’d love to know what goes through peoples heads.

Bobby: Invisibility—imagine all the cool pranks you could do with this, like pretending to be a poltergeist.

~~~~~

Caroline: There seems to be another love triangle forming between Noah, Hope, and Priya. The latest challenge led to some saucy revelations. Priya revealed Noah is considering choosing her at the next recouple, leaving Hope and Noah questioning their relationship. Hope and Noah are on the rocks at the moment.

AJ: Yeah, it’s the moment Priya goes, “Your relationship is falling apart. Noah and I would be a better couple, and she’s gonna fight for that to happen." War declared. The moment those words come out, savage.

Caroline: It’s like the Battle of Noah, isn’t it?

HRVY: It’s great telly, innit it?

Caroline: Talia, what is it like in there when tensions are running high? Can you escape it?

Talia: You can’t escape it. You can’t get out. Literally. But, me, personally, I would just go to the daybed. Get my favourite snack and just ignore people.

Caroline: Unbothered queen. That’s why we love you.

~~~~~

Caroline: Our Islanders are having the summer of a lifetime in their very own sun-kissed paradise, and no two days are ever the same. This season, a separate villa called Casa Amor will be introduced. Existing couples will be temporarily separated, and the Islanders will have the opportunity to form connections with the new arrivals. 

The screen flashes to six new attractive boys and six new beautiful girls.

Audience: CHEERING and APPLAUSE

Caroline: After a few days, there will be a recoupling ceremony where they will decide whether to stay loyal to their original partners or switch to a new Casa Amor connection. Will the Islanders stay loyal, or will their heads turn?

HRVY: I think it’s gonna be an issue for a few people.

Caroline: Do you think our Islanders haven’t really been tested enough, Talia?

Talia: I think this type of separation will test all their loyalties and might dredge up prior relationship baggage and trust issues.

[hologramcowboy]

//Sadly, I think currently that Jensen is actually fostering the leech behavior. Steve is a leech, Rob Benedict (though he is a cutie) uses Jensen’s popularity to build up himself, you discussed Danneel, then there are the other cast mates both old and current that use him. And he seems to enjoy it. The “come on, Kylie, let’s get Dee Dee more followers” seems to be an example. It’s like he fears if people don’t need him or want to use him, they’ll leave him. In his mind, like Jared did.//

I think he likes it. I think it's a more real world application of the way his fans treat him. I mean, yea, his fans are online 24/7 calling him a hot-god-king and that feeds his ego but that doesn't really do as much for him in his day to day life, but I think having his "friends" act in a similar way, although toned down from the AA's, feeds his ego in a more practical way. He gets to act like he's this magnanimous dude who is doing favors for those less fortunate when really he's only fostering their leeching behavior and doing himself no favors (just his ego). It also makes all his friendships into more of business interactions instead of fostering real friendships with people who genuinely like him for him and not what he can do for them. Who are his honest real true friends? Who expect nothing from him but friendship?? Jared. Anyone else? Steve, Jason, Rob, Rich, the rest of the extras... they all expect (and get) something from him. I honestly can't think of anyone outside of Jared. Granted I don't know all his friendships and relationships so I can't definitively say but that's publicly all that comes to mind. I mean, he isn't even close to his family anymore... Jared on the other hand seems to be much better at separating business relationships from personal relationships. Is there overlap? Absolutely, its impossible to avoid, BUT he seems to be clear that being his friend does not automatically mean handouts. If someone is talented, hardworking and deserving? He will absolutely give them a hand - for example he has been really helpful for quite a few people who want to get into directing and gives them a chance to shadow and then direct an ep or two like Austin, he's let Jake shadow with plans to direct one day, we know Emily Swallow was on set shadowing directors, etc. He is happy to help foster talent and open opportunities for people, but it isn't a given just because someone is his friend.

Excellent observation, Anon, the difference between Jared and Jensen is that Jared has a deep awareness that some people might only be after him out of interest and he carefully chooses the people around him, all creative, talented, dedicated, loyal people with kind energy. Whereas Jensen seems to only gravitate towards those that blindly feed his ego and his ego is his biggest weakness, I bet you that's how Danneel manipulated him into marrying her and also into nepotism that ruined his image and also into betraying Jared, no doubt. If Jensen could just set his ego aside and make smart career choices instead, I have no doubt he would eventually end up having the kind of career he dreams of. Setting his ego aside could also help him heal the bond with Jared by owning up to everything he did and wholeheartedly making amends.

[nctsjiho]

JiHo vs Geo (NCT JiHo’s Duality)

Fan Video by ‘NeoVerse’ on Youtube

(indented text = comments added by the maker of the video, in this case NeoVerse) So we all know JiHo. One of NCT’s rappers and dancers. She’s always portrayed as cool, confident, intimidating, so for today, let me introduce you to Geo.

The cute, easily embarrassed 00 liner, whom everyone in NCT (and the fandom) has a soft spot for. Though whenever Geo comes out she’s usually getting teased by the boys...

^^ Let’s get started!

[JiHo Vlive ft. Taeyong & Taeil 190407]

“So we’ll be in America soon for the second leg of the Tour.” Taeyong said. “Are you excited?” JiHo asked looking at the oldest of the three. “Yes, we’ll finally get to see all our overseas fans. And we’re even going to see Johnny’s home-”The 3 of them looked off camera once loud noise started to fill the room. The voices obviously belonged to Dream. Taeil and Taeyong shrugged it off and Taeil continued to talk. The noise wasn’t too loud, but it was still a bit distracting non the less.

JiHo continued looking off camera every once in a while. It looked like she finally made eye contact with one of the young boys, because she squinted her eyes a bit more and suddenly the room became silent besides for Taeil talking. The girl gave the tinniest nod before looking back at the camera and joining the two other men in their conversation.

In the background you could hear a door close just after a few silent “sorry’s” were heard. 

JiHo: the NCT member who can make Dream, who never stop talking, shut up without even saying anything. The power this girl has

[‘NCT - RESONANCE Pt. 2’ Departure Ver. Jacket Behind the Scene]

Loud cheers filled the echo-y room as JiHo walked in. All the 23 boys were already in their spots, but the girl had walked in late (for an unknown reason). She hides her face in embarrassment as she approaches Renjun who was standing on the far right side of the bleacher-like structure. “JiHo needs to go up one level!” One of the staff members yelled.

JiHo gets up on the structure a hand helping her up, it was Johnny.  As she stands up completely she notices she is standing between Johnny and Sungchan. “Please tell my I’m not standing between these two giants.” She looks in the direction of the staff, face full of concern. Her comment causing almost everyone to laugh. “Why? Don’t you like standing between us?” Johnny teased poking at her side. She squints her eyes at the taller man, triggering a few more laughs out of him.

The director instructs the girl to stand between Ten and Shotaro on the other side of the structure and she quickly walks over to them, almost tripping on her way over, where Ten greets her with a big hug. “Ah so cute~” Mark cooed, looking at the embarrassed girl.

[NCT World 2.0 ep 4]

It’s really no secret that JiHo is a very athletic person. She works out and tries out new sports for fun. So even though she might not have the strength as her male colleagues (well most of them, sorry Kun), she was definitely one of, if not the most, agile members in the group.

When they announced the next game, JiHo’s team mates had look slightly worried. The vault was already at 1.70 m which was already taller than her, though JiHo would never openly admit that.

It’s only when the vault is at 2 m high that the members realise the smaller girl had cleared all the previous heights successfully. She’s now standing at a couple meters away to sprint towards the vault.

“We didn’t expect JiHo to make it this far.” Defconn commented. “She’s definitely an ace.” Kim Hwan, the other presenter, added.

We’re talking about the same JiHo right? This girl can literally carry her members on her back!

“Wow~ Look at noona’s face.” Jisung pointed out to his team mates, who unfortunately didn’t make it. The girl had her eyes set on the vault. Completely focused she put up her fist. “JiHo, challenge!” Her first few steps were big but slow, then her pace started picking up, until she had reached the vault.

“Ji-” The camera picks up the shocked faces of the boys as her team members jump to her aid. JiHo was laying on her back on the blue mat, the vault in pieces all around her, with one of the pieces almost making its way towards the girl’s face. Thankfully because of the concerned boys’ fast reflexes they helped avoid a big accident.

“Are you okay?” Johnny asked now that they were standing again. “I think I can make it though...” She furrowed her brow, shocking the boys with her comment. Despite all the boys’ protest JiHo was one again standing at the starting position to run towards the vault.

Taeyong stood up in a panic. “She isn’t going to try again right-” “JiHo, challenge!” And without a second of hesitation she ran towards the vault, 5 boys ready to save her in case she was to fail again. Once her feet hit the mat she looked at the camera with a smirk on her face and a fist in the air. She had cleared the vault.

“I swear to God her confidence is going to be the dead of me.” Taeyong let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

[NCT World 2.0 ep 2]

JiHo’s challenge was to do a rope skipping routine. Since she has been rope skipping for as long as she can remember, it wasn’t really that hard. The challenging part came from that she had to learn a specific routine and execute it perfectly within 10 minutes.

After 3 minutes she had the short routine down, some moves were slightly more difficult, but nothing she couldn’t do.

“JiHo, challenge!” She yelled out. She pulled of the routine effortlessly. Or that’s what she thought at least. Everyone had jumped to their feet, cheering JiHo on those who never saw JiHo rope skipping completely in awe at what she just pulled off. “Let’s go-” Mark had yelled, just before the lights turned red. “Mission failed.” The deep voice boomed over the speakers. Everyone stunned, they could’ve sworn she just did it right. But after review JiHo realised her mistake.

She stood closely to Jaemin’s seat who asked her if she got the routine down now. JiHo nodded while she absentmindedly swung around the jump rope. A particularly hard swing causing the rope to round her back and hit her left arm harshly. The loud sound of the rope hitting her skin was accompanied with a wince at the sting. Jaemin had jumped up asking if JiHo was okay. The girl had slapped her hand against her reddening skin before she started whining that it hurt.

Jaemin took the opportunity to baby her. “Aigoo~ You need to be more careful.” He said rubbing her arms, before pulling her into a hug. The boys who sat a bit further away had started laughing once they realised the girl was okay. “Jaemin-ah, they are laughing at my pain.” She pouted and the boy pulled her closer, glaring at the other members.

Yangyang... I saw you laughing at our baby girl... 

[NCT JiHo notices SASEANG at the Airport]

In the shaky fan video with not much context you could see NCT at the airport. The reason why they weren’t moving unknown. The only thing you could tell from the first half of the video was that NCT was standing in the middle of a clearing in the airport with tons of fans surrounding them.

Jeno and JiHo were standing next together, being filmed by the fan. She kept on glancing in a particular direction. At some point Jeno leaned in to whisper something in her ear and she shrugged in response, her body seemed a bit tense.

After another couple of seconds went by, JiHo suddenly starts moving in the direction of the fans - the same direction she kept glancing at. This caused the fans to start screaming and a body guard to quickly try and catch up with her.

It isn’t clear what’s being said, but JiHo exchanges some words with a male fan. She then puts her hand out, the fans around her going quiet. The man hands JiHo his unlocked phone and she starts scrolling through it. With a bitter look she hands the phone back, grabs her own, takes a picture of the man and then leaves. Once she reaches the boys again an indifferent expression remains on her face. Jeno’s hand massages the girl’s shoulder but she doesn’t seem to relax until they are able to leave the airport.

Apparently the male “fan” was a sasaeng and on his phone were pictures he had taken of JiHo and the rest of NCT (?) during their overseas schedules in places no fans were allowed. She deleted them and taken a picture of him for the security, possibly also for the authorities.

[NCT 127 fan event @ Capitol Records]

After everyone had gathered on stage, it was time for each member to introduce themselves. JiHo was last in line and when she started talking in her mic, it was clear that her mic did not work. The girl looked back at the staff, but they didn’t seem to notice directly, so she turned to her right and grabbed Doyoung’s mic. He didn’t let go of it, causing the girl to lean in towards Doyoung and start introducing herself. “Hi! I’m JiHo.” She giggled slightly embarrassed, which emitted a chorus of “awe’s” from the fans.

Later on in the interview, now with a working mic, the question “Who is the most attractive member of the group?” had been asked. Some members had answered already but the interviewer asked JiHo’s opinion. “Uhm...” She hummed as she looked over her members. “I think everyone is very attractive.” She gave as her final answer which left everyone a bit “disappointed”. A fan interjected, yelling, “We all know you think it’s Jungwoo!” JiHo’s face turned the brightest shade of red as she looked at the audience in shock. Everyone at the event had burst out laughing and JiHo sank back in her chair.

[NCT JIHO Choreography | More Than That (Lauren Jauregui)]

JiHo’s know as a bit of a tomboy. I mean she hangs out with dudes pretty much 24/7. So when she dropped this video, let me tell you, we NCTzens were shook.

As the music starts playing the lights slowly turn on. JiHo is sat in the middle of a dance practise room in a chair, head tilted slightly backwards, exposing her neck.

The camera comes closer and JiHo makes eye contact with it, her mouth is slightly agape and she stands up. She hits every beat, dancing in her own, cool style, nothing very girly or sexy, until a certain line comes up.

“I got a situation, I can tell you wanna know“

She brings her clasped hands up, stretching them out above her hand, before pushing her right hip out circling it from the front to the side. She lets her hands drop back down.

“How you can take an honest girl and turn her to a”

Her facial expression turns more cocky. Her left hand goes down the side of her body onto her left thigh while she moves down to an almost squat position. Her right hand comes up from her chest to her neck at the end of the line where the singer lets out a gasp.

Turn her to a WHAT? Explain Lim Jiho! Into a what exactly?!

Stan twitter of course went crazy at the sight of their tomboyish, innocent girl choreographing such a seductive dance. Besides those two lines, most of the dance was just her usual boyish hip-hop style. But the whole vibe of the song, along with her facial expressions had caused such beautiful chaos. Also JiHo in those sweatpants and a sports bra/crop top was something NCTzens weren’t ready for yet.

[Weekly Idol ep 410]

This is probably my favourite JiHo moment ever. For a bit of context. The people sitting down on pillows have to come forward for the members they want to be partnered with and show their charm. After everyone has “seduced” the sitting member, they must close their eyes and if their rose gets picked they are partnered up.

The reason I like this so much is because JiHo was already pouty since Doyoung and Yuta were both seducers as well so there was no chance of partnering with them, but she really wanted to team up with either of them.

After Mark danced to ‘Pick Me’ (and JiHo did everything in her power not to cringe, she failed), he turned around to see which members would come over. When he turned around he saw 4 faces. Those of Doyoung, Jaehyun, Yuta and JiHo. The last two he didn’t expect to come.

One by one they all had to explain why they picked Mark. “Dude, honestly I just don’t want to be picked last.” The girl said in English sending Mark into a fit of laughter. They than had to show show their charm through singing, dancing or acting cute. Once it was Doyoung’s turn, he started dancing to ‘Pick Me’, just like Mark did earlier. “Oppa! I wanted to do that.” She said annoyed to which Doyoung looked shocked. “You were going to dance to a girl group song?” She just rolled her eyes.

Once it was her turn the host had encouraged her to dance to ‘Pick Me’ like she initially planned. “If you do it better than Doyoung, you will have a better chance.” One of the boys had reasoned, that was enough for JiHo to stand up.

She patted down her sweater before getting “in the zone” and she started dancing and singing the song as if it was her own. Some of the boys started cringing at the unfamiliar sight of their female member acting girly and cute, willingly. Then the camera shows Yuta and Jungwoo who were clearly enjoying the show and Taeil smiling fondly as well.

omg this is peak Geo behaviour <3 How is she this cute? Is she really a member of a mostly male group?

Cut to JiHo getting rejected right after Doyoung gets rejected. They sit back next to Johnny, the girl’s head resting on Doyoung’s shoulder. “I guess dancing to that song wasn’t the way to go.” She sighed.

This time it’s Jungwoo’s time to choose a member. He danced to ‘Havana’ to which everyone joins in. Once seated it’s time to start the next round. When Jungwoo faced the group again everyone, including JiHo has come forward.

Johnny danced and Jaehyun and Doyoung sang for Jungwoo, then it’s the girl’s turn. “JiHo! Aegyo!” Haechan yelled and before she can say anything, Yuta agrees. She looks at Jungwoo with a sigh. “Oh it doesn’t look like JiHo really wants to team up with Jungwoo.” Doyoung teased. JiHo quickly dismissed his claim, poking his side which had him twitch.

“Oppa... I think we could make a really good team.” She said with her face rested in her hands. Than she points at her heart. “It would really hurt right here if you reject me.” At the end of her sentence she stands up and throws her rose away. Everyone is dying from laughter or second hand embarrassment. The girl takes a few deep breaths to calm down and she sits back down.

ngl even though that was very cringy, how is JiHo this good at aegyo? I’m sure Jaemin would love it...

They have to make eye contact with the Jungwoo now and once it’s JiHo’s turn she locks eyes with him with ease. Her eyes never faltering which intimidates Jungwoo a bit. “JiHo, you’re supposed to make a connection, not scare him away.” She swats Doyoung’s arm at his remark.

Guess what. Our poor girl was rejected once again

JiHo stands up with her cushion and walks back behind the line. “I danced for you!” She points at Mark. “I acted cute for you!” She points at Jungwoo. “And this is what I get?” The girl actually looks a little agitated which prompted in Jungwoo hugging her and apologising, but she pushes him away. “Whoever my partner is, he and I will end your team.” She threatened while raising her brow. But she only manages to look cute, because she still has a pout very evident on her lips. The tall boy cooed at her and patted her head before walking back to his chair.

Finally Taeyong takes his place on the seat. Once he turned around he could only see Jaehyun and Doyoung sitting back at the line, making a heart with their arms together. A look of despair washed over his face for a quick second before he realises JiHo wasn’t there anymore.

“Where’s JiHo?” He asked and the boys motioned him to turn around once again. When he does he finds JiHo holding her hands up in a heart above her head. “I’ve been rejected twice by those men there.” She points towards Jungwoo and Mark. “And now Doyoung has betrayed me as well. So please be my partner.” Her tone is slightly sad and Taeyong nods and pulls her into a hug.

My heart! :’( She wanted to be in a team with Doyoung from the start, how could he betray JiHo like that!

“Let’s win this!” JiHo yelled, a smile finally finding it’s way back on her face after she found a partner.

That was all for today’s video! Thank you so much for watching! 

---

Side Note: This post is inspired by a post by @nct-aria​. They’re an amazing NCT addition blog, which I definitely recommend you check out.

[dangermousie]

2020 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

You can find my 2020 cdrama post here: dangermousie.tumblr.com/post/638449659546845184/2020-end-of-year-post-cdrama-edition

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2020; if it originally aired another year, it’s not on this list.

It’s been a pretty lackluster kdrama year. There are probably only 5 kdramas I truly loved and only three of them I was really obsessed over. Better luck in 2021!

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

42 Born Again - so bad, so incoherent, so insane, I have no idea why the leads signed up for it (and unlike some of the other watchers, I think it was awful from the very start.) There is literally nothing about this drama that makes sense.

41 Love with Flaws - a bunch of people who should be tried under the Geneva Convention.

40 Sweet Munchies - Jung Il Woo proves his inability to pick a functional script.

39 Meow the Secret Boy - if you ever wanted to bang a cat, this drama is for you. Not being a furry, however...

38 Do Do Sol Sol La Sol - I lost braincells just typing out this title.

37 When I Was the Most Beautiful - the only way it’s not the dumbest, most pointless melo of 2020 is because Born Again considerately came out the same year.

36 Woman of 9.9 Billion - if you want to watch an artsy French movie about miserable people, but only badly made, boy do I have a drama for you.

35 Lies after Lies - screams after screams.

34 Backstreet Rookie - people were up in arms about various problematic plots. I am a survivor of many plots much more problematic but even I couldn’t survive how utterly boring and annoying this drama was and how utterly irritating the leads were. This has taken Ji Chang Wook off my top favorites into “should I even check his latest Lovestruck in the City? Probably not” territory almost single-handedly (Melt Me helped, to be fair.)

33 Men Are Men - boring is boring.

32 Dinner Mate - two beautiful boring people eat out a lot.

31 Was It Love - no it wasn’t.

30 Alice - Joo Won in the shower can make up for a multitude of sins but not plot nonsense of such magnitude. When you find yourself thinking it would be better if he hooked up with the alternate universe version of his mother because at least then something entertaining would happen, you know it’s bad.

29 More than Friends - started out OK, then made me hate basically everyone and kept going.

28 Start-Up - honestly, it’s probably more decent than its place here, but the toxic and batshit fandom for it (the worst this year) made me feel like breaking out in hives any time it’s even mentioned.

27 The Spies who Loved Me - how to take a good cast and waste it.

26 Private Lives - it was good but it never took off with its concept and spent more time on the incoherent plot than the OTP which was its one strength. It’s a decent drama but coming after Heartless City and My Beautiful Bride from the same writer, it’s a disappointment.

25 Record of Youth - as high as it is due to Park Bo Gum hard carrying this entire awful drama on his shoulders and doing it so well I finished it. Alas, while he is in one drama (and that drama is great), the rest of the characters and the entirety of the script are a pointless useless mess.

24 Do You Like Brahms - excellent first third, mediocre middle, and terrible last third. I don’t know what musical term applies to this? Diminuendo, I think.

23 I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice - nice and mellow but nothing much happens.

22 Forest - mainly for Park Hae Jin’s excellent and frequently naked bod.

21 The Ballot - I didn’t love it as much as everyone did but it was well-made.

20 Hyena - more romance and less weird law stuff would make it better.

19 365 Repeat the Year - surprisingly solid.

18 The Game Towards Zero - see 365.

17 When My Love Blooms - very old fashioned, very lovely.

16 Chocolate - also very old fashioned and very lovely but also with Yoon Kye Sang performing medical procedures bleeding and shirtless. MMM.

15 (tie) Secret Royal Inspector - a fun if run of the mill sageuk.

15 Find Me In Your Memory - best melo this year.

14 Mystic Pop Up Bar - surprisingly good even though I wasn’t planning to check it out.

13 Where Your Eyes Linger - came out of nowhere but was tender and hopeful and lovely.

12 Itaewon Class - Park Seo Joon hard carries a drama that is already excellent. Love it.

11 Psychopath Diary - Yoon Shi Yoon is such a treat in a hilarious, cynical, dark comedy.

10 Kairos - more like ouroboros.

9 Queen Love and War - in a year where sageuks are very rare, this was solid and surprisingly moving and shippy.

8 The King Eternal Monarch - people didn’t like it but I did. It’s no masterpiece and both the leads and the writers have better dramas, but it was a lovely romantic fairy tale for me.

7 Mr. Queen - sharp, hilarious, and some of my favorite actors.

6 Psycho But It’s OK - healing, sharp cinematography and even sharper chemistry.

5 Crash Landing on You - the last ep pissed me off so much this drama is dead to me but I loved it so much until then I can’t place it lower in good conscience.

4 Train - who knew I would go this hard for an OCN drama or that OCN would do romance so well? But this time-travel mystery romance is just incredible and I shipped the OTP and rooted for the characters and loved every last bit of it.

3 Run On - this is the drama Record of Youth wanted to be but failed. Smart and lived in, you feel like you are peeking at real people, but also even four episodes in, I am so invested in the main characters separately and together, and care for them so much, it’s a little frightening.

1 (tie) Tale of the Nine Tailed - my perfect fantasy romance. I liked it better than Goblin, yeah I said it.

1 Flower of Evil - all the tropes I love in one incredible package. I would rewatch episodes waiting for new ones trying to puzzle the story and to stay withdrawal but it works just as well on rewatch. Lee Jun Ki brings his trademark tortured intensity and for once, both his leading lady and his script back him up and are worthy of that. It’s perfect.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It’s a tie between Tale of the Nine Tailed and Flower of Evil but if I had to pick just one, FoE, because it had me seriously obsessed and guessing about the protagonist and gave me the narrative tropes I love so much and an OTP that statisfied all my hurt/comfort kinks and then some.

WORST DRAMA

Born Again - honestly, this is so bonkers it almost becomes good but alas...

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Hyun Soo/Baek Hee Sung, Flower of Evil - he is so messed up, so on edge, so traumatized. Yet capable of so much warmth and caring even as he himself doesn’t realize his humanity. FoE is basically a story of a man pushed and punished by the world for his entire life who, because of one woman, finds a safe place and peace and slowly comes to life without realizing it, and watching his desperation to keep this small bit of normalcy is so heartbreaking and exciting all at once. Plus, you start the drama thinking he’s a psychopathic serial killer and end it (if you are me) thinking he must be protected at all costs and if anyone even looks at him wrong they must suffer, and that’s quite a change!

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Nam Ji Ah, Tale of the Nine Tailed - she is so funny and tough and smart and loving and amazing that I will totally buy that a literal demi-god will do anything and everything for her and love her for literal eternity.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Dad in Record of Youth - yes in a year with serial killers and supernatural demons, I picked a normal character from a mediocre drama. It’s his everyday awfulness to his family that hits so hard and I am sad he never got his comeuppance.

FAVORITE SHIP

Ji Ah x Yeon - a fearless reporter and an immortal demi-god who’s been hoping for his human beloved to reincarnate. A really rare set-up where the OTP is equally ride or die, so compatible and completely BAMF. I got why he waited for her for that long and then fell in love with her all over again. Perfection.

Runner up: Flower of Evil - he is so messed up he literally does not believe he is capable of love or empathy, but he falls in love with her anyway and so utterly she permeates his entire life. She is tough as nails and only believes what she sees and is the sole person who believes in him against the world. She loves him but he needs her. She needs him but he loves her. They are amazing.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Seo Dan x Gu Seung Jun, Crash Landing on You, North Korean x Conman were so good I shipped them harder than the main OTP and the end of that storyline pissed me off so much I dumped the drama and didn’t finish it for months (and it’s still dead to me.)

NOTP

Record of Youth - it started out and they didn’t have much chemistry but the dialogues were interesting and I thought the chemistry would grow. It didn’t and deteriorated, their dialogues became boring and relationship had zero development (about as much as the supposed female lead.) I think we were supposed to feel bad they broke up and they were going for a bittersweet open ending, instead I found myself happy about the break up of two incompatible, chemistry-less people and hoping for the love of God they never get back together.

FAVORITE SCENE

Yeon and the bridge of knives, Tale of the Nine Tailed - Yeon choosing to undergo the creeptastic bridge of knives for a chance to save Ji Ah, who at that point he is not aware is the reincarnation of his Joseon love because, as he says, he doesn’t care if she is or isn’t, it just would be more horrible to have her die than to undergo the horrific torture he is undergoing, and then the sequence with his catching her, her weeping over him and the fact that she is the original Joseon girl revealed and all the bandaging and his watching her sleep and all that loveliness, is everything for yours truly.

Runner up: Hyun Soo having that break-down at the cliff at the end of ep 15 of Flower of Evil as Ji Won desperately tries to convince him she is alive and he finally stumbles to her.

Runner runner up (it’s my list, I will do what I want): Do Won preparing to blow his brains out to give a chance to Seo Kyung to live in Train.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Seon-Gyeom, Run On. Yeah, I know. Im Siwan is tiny, delicate featured and has a runner’s build, none of which are things that normally appeal to me. But his character is so odd, so honest, so unflinching in pursuing what he thinks is right, so incapable of self-pity despite plenty of reasons for it, and so ridiculously attractive when he smiles, I don’t even care.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Kim Bum, TotNT - I started out being annoyed by him and ended up looking forward to his scenes and being distraught by his ending.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Honestly, none. I was fine with all the endings. I wouldn’t mind seeing post-end life of Tale of the Nine Tailed characters or the OTP settling into their literal new world in Train, but I am good.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Time jump that solves all the problems off screen or alternatively years pass and everyone is frozen - something that kdramas need to learn and need to learn badly. See Record of Youth, Brahms and Start Up.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men who are ride or die for their OTP - this was a great year for this - the male leads of four of my five dramas were beyond anything on that scale (only exception is Run On because it’s still too early to tell there.) Yes PLEASE.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

This was a banner year for that what with Start Up, Do You Like Brahms, Record of Youth, and Private Lives all starting out well and nosediving off the cliff but winner is Crash Landing on You. I loved it so much for bulk of its run but the last episode pissed me off so much I deleted all my files and called it a day.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Flower of Evil - I had no expectations of this drama and wasn’t even planning on watching it despite liking both the lead actors because yet another “look at evil serial killer be evil” drama with no romance was not my thing. Luckily someone convinced me there might be some romance and I peeked curiously. Honestly, their promo campaign was the most misleading and dumbest thing ever.

Runner up Psycho but it’s OK - I have never liked Kim Soo Hyun in anything before and the drama premise seemed WTF but it was shockingly good and KSH totally blew me away.

Hardest Working Lead

Yoon Shi Yoon - he starred in two (!!!) dramas in 2020 playing three characters and not only were both these dramas awesome in a lackluster year, but if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew it was the same actor and the fact that the characters shared a face, I would have never believed that they were played by the same actor. So good!

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

My Beautiful Bride and Deserving of the Name - I was obsessed with both of them and honestly, they were much better than the bulk of 2020 kdramas I watched.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

The Moon That Rises in the Day, Hong Chun Gi, Joseon Exorcist, Island,  Frightening Cohabitation, Snowdrop.

[beautifulletdownfics]

‘someday, someday’ :: tumblr edition, #30 :: the epilogue

June, five months later.

Seattle

“I can feel the love of my girlfriend in the building!”

“Oh boy,” I said under my breath, walking towards the sound of Harry’s booming voice.

“He’s been annoyingly upbeat all day,” Harry’s manager said from his spot walking next to me, “He’s lucky nobody’s hit him with a tranquilliser gun.” 

I laughed, “I’m extremely sorry. I’ll try to keep him out of your hair for a few days.”

“Nina!” Harry squawked out my name, still out of sight. The empty corridors of the venue made his voice carry throughout the whole place.

I landed in Seattle a few hours before, there was a hold up at the airport customs, but I slept on the plane so wasn’t feeling too foggy from travel. Harry had a show here tonight, and then two sold-out nights in Los Angeles before we had a small getaway planned in Jamaica. He was on a ‘micro tour’ which consisted of forty dates across Europe and the US, promoting the EP that dropped back in March and also giving Harry a break from writing his next album. I went to the opening night show in London four weeks ago and hadn’t seen Harry since.

We rounded a corner, and I saw him, jogging towards us in a tour hoody, jeans and fluffy socks with no shoes. Harry’s cheeks were red, and his eyes were wide with joy, my tummy clenched at the sight of him; at the sight of how happy seeing me made him. 

“Hello!” Harry yelled happily, not slowing at all before crashing into me and holding my body tightly against his, “Hello, you’re here! I love you. I’m so fucking in love with you.”

“I’ll see you later, mate,” His manager said somewhere behind me, “Soundcheck is at three, okay?”

Harry must have held up a thumb in agreement because we were left alone a moment later, my face pressed into the warm material of his jumper and my arms wrapped tightly around Harry’s back.

“Do you speak?” Harry asked, swaying us from side to side in a hug, “Because when I saw you a month ago, you could speak.” “Hi,” I bleated out, thickly, “I’ve missed you.” He squeezed me almost too tightly, “I missed you too. So much. I’m so excited about this week.”

I threaded my hands behind his neck then, needing to show my affection. I managed to get in half a dozen kisses to his jaw and side of Harry’s mouth before he loosened his grip and covered my mouth with his. The kiss was slow and heated me all the way through, feeling Harry’s body after so many weeks lit a fire in my gut.

He felt it too.

“Lemme show you my dressing room,” He said between pecks to my lips. “I’ve missed you so much.”

It wasn’t far away, Harry took the handle of my suitcase from where his manager had left it and then strode off down the hallway, leaving me to trot along behind him trying to catch up. I skipped passed him, slapping my hand gently to his bum and turning back to give him a cheeky look.

Harry shook his head and muttered something to himself just as we passed a door he disappeared into. I skidded back to follow him, taking in the small but inviting space we had just walked into. Harry shut the door behind me and had me engulfed in another kiss before I could get a good look at Harry’s space on tour.

His palms pressed against the base of my spine before Harry expertly unclasped my bra under my shirt, his fingers moved around to dance across my nipples.

“Well that feels odd,” I said as he attached his mouth to my neck, my bra sitting strangely over my shoulders and bunching under the fabric of my shirt. There was a reason the layers usually came off in a particular order, Harry jumped the gun though, and I can’t say I blamed him for it.

“Odd?” Harry questioned, lightly squeezing my left breast as he sucked behind my ear. It sent a rush of heat straight through me, and when I stumbled against him, Harry laughed against my chin. “That’s more like it.”

A moment later, my shirt and bra were off, and Harry gently pushed me back until I was pressed against the closed door. His eyes sparkled when he pulled back to look at me, his own cheeks flushed with desire while his chest heaved up and down. I reached for his belt loops, missing the feeling of him against him and wanting to feel his hardness against me again.

“Harry,” I whined.

“Fucking look at you,” He breathed, taking a finger and tracing it down from my neck, between my bare breasts and then down to the button of my jeans, “Can I keep going?”

“Does this door lock?” Harry reached behind me to the handle, and I heard a satisfying click, “Yes.”

A smile grew across my face, and I reached up for Harry’s shoulders to pull him down for another searing kiss. His fingers congregated at the top of my trousers, quickly flipping the button out of its spot and unzipping them. We giggled our way through him trying to peel the tight skinny jeans from my legs, he kneeled in front of me as he struggled to get my shoes off and then the jeans over my feet. My palms rested on Harry’s back as I hunched over in laughter. My laughter died, though when the trousers were gone, and Harry looked up at me from the floor, his warm breath fanning against me. 

Before I could think he pressed a kiss below my belly button and tugged down my knickers, “You’re so beautiful,” Harry said, “I missed this so much.”

+++

“C’mon, we have a job to do,” Harry flung open the door to his dressing room and pulled me down the corridor.

“A job?” I ran a hand through my hair, hoping I didn’t look like I’d just had three orgasms. “Yes, I’m on crew afternoon tea,” Harry told me impatiently, “So we’re making cookies.”

“Cookies? Where on earth are we making cookies?”

“Here,” He held out his arm in a big reveal, the catering kitchen before us, “I have use of this kitchen for the next hour. Morning tea is at two.”

“We’re making cookies.”

“Yes.”

“You’re such a charming idiot,” I grinned, “I love you.”

His face lit up as he took his phone out of his pocket and gave it to me, “You DJ and I’ll be ... What’s that guy's name? The cooking one?” 

“Jamie Oliver?” 

“No,” he shook his head, still trying to think of the name himself. Harry was looking over what had been left out on the bench, it seemed whoever was letting Harry use the kitchen was protective of their space and had elected to put everything he would need in plain sight. 

“Gordon Ramsey?” I tried. 

“No, the other one ... That’s different.” 

“Noel Fielding?” 

Harry stopped short and looked at me with a sceptical look on his face, “Noel Fielding,” he said flatly, “He’s the host, he doesn’t cook, Nina!” 

“Paul Hollywood then.”

“No.”

I smiled, “You’re not giving me a very good indication of who you mean.” 

“Ainsley! That Ainsley guy, with the grin,” Harry demonstrated the nature of the grin in question. 

“That’s a girls name,” I said, not finding the name familiar in the slightest. 

“Ainsley is badass,” Harry blew me off, “I’ll show you.” 

We spent the next twenty minutes fumbling our way through the cookie recipe Harry saved onto his phone. He was adamant we double the recipe, so there was plenty for everyone. Halfway through I was banned from helping anymore after I went rogue and decided not to measure out the chocolate chips, instead I was eyeballing the amount.

“Don’t mess up the recipe!” He reached for the bowl and tried to intercept the chocolate chips I was shaking in.

“You can never have too many choc chips, Harry.” “Yes, you can! That’s why they tell you how much to put in! It’s about ratios, Nina!”

“Ratios don’t apply to chocolate chips, you measure that shit with your heart.”

He glared at me, looking every bit the disagreeable child, “If there’s too high a chocolate content the cookies will burn. It’s a chemical reaction! They’ve got—”

—You need to cool it on the Bon Appetite videos, mate.”

“Mate!” Harry latched onto my waist and dug his fingers in to tickle me, “Boyfriends don’t get ‘mate’, thank you very much.”

When we presented the cookies later on at crew afternoon tea Harry admitted that maybe I hadn’t completely ruined the batch, he ate four before anyone else got to them, and I didn’t try very hard at all not to be smug about how much he liked the treat. I watched him happily prattle away to different people, shovelling more cookies into his mouth with abandon as the social gathering went on.

“You made cookies so you’d have an excuse to eat cookies, didn’t you?” I confronted him when Harry handed me a cup of tea a little while later, “You’ve got a little bit, c’ mere.”

I wiped the corner of his mouth where a smudge of chocolate sat with my thumb, avoiding the heated look he was giving me, and he settled onto the sofa next to me, “I did nothing of the sort.”

“Hmmm,” I smiled, blowing onto the surface of my tea to cool it.

+++

Los Angeles, Day Two

You’re so cute when you play xx

“Concentrate, Harry,” I snatched the sticky-note he wrote for me off the end of his finger and stuck it to the piano.

“It’s true,” He pressed a kiss to my cheek and stood up off the stool, finally looking as though he was ready to take soundcheck seriously.

This was Harry’s idea, as so many crazy ideas were. He waited 24 hours after I joined him in Seattle before trying it out on me, casually mentioning that it would be cool if I could play the song we wrote together on stage with him one night. As with so many things, Harry broke the idea to me slowly, and I was swayed from my status of categorically absolutely not to where we currently were. Which was us both up on stage behind a grand piano during his last Los Angeles soundcheck. 

A roadie set up a microphone at the piano for me to sing harmonies despite my telling Harry over and over I wouldn’t be using it. I knew what Harry was thinking though, that the more we rehearsed it through, the more I would get lost in the song and find myself humming along supporting Harry’s voice where the song needed it. He was using my instinct against me.

Or he would if he ever got to actually singing the song through. For now, he seemed content to mess about and get crew members to request songs for me to play.

“Harry,” I was finally reaching my threshold, my nerves eroding my ability to play along much further.

He looked at me and his face fell slightly, but he gave me a warm smile, “Okay, let’s do a proper run through.”

“Thank you.”

I started the intro slowly, closing my eyes to enjoy the way the sound of the keys spread through the venue. I really did love this song, and despite how often I heard it since it’s release, there was still a warming kind of magic to it. It took me back to meeting Harry and him seeing my musicality for the first time last year. They were such sweet memories, and I loved thinking about how little I knew at the time; how much I underestimated what Harry’s effect on my life would be.

When Harry started singing into his microphone I opened my eyes to watch him, he was facing the empty stadium, still as he let his voice carry. He told me earlier he was thinking about changing a few runs tonight but he didn’t want to distract or take away from the fact this would probably be the only time we played it live together. 

By the time he started singing the second chorus I had tears in my eyes and his band were all quiet watching. None of them was setting up for the next song or distracted on their phones, everyone was watching Harry perform to the empty theatre.

His head slowly turned around to me when I started singing along behind him. He smiled through the next few lyrics, removing his mic from the stand and walking over to be closer to me. Our voices did sound lovely together, although I felt horribly exposed doing so. I stuck to just doing what the voices on Rodger’s recorded version did. We were missing the strings and some of the effects from the piano, but there was a simple beauty to just performing the song with this grand piano in front of me.

The instrumental came and I focused on getting the more complicated piano part I had written sounding perfect. Harry’s music director told me earlier if I wanted to extend it I could, but again, I was wary of settling too much of the attention on myself. This was Harry’s show and I wanted his fans to see him in a different way, not to be introduced too much to the idea of me.

“Fuck, that was amazing,” Harry said into the microphone as I played through the final few chords. He was grinning ear to ear, watching my hands on the keys. 

“Your voice sounds beautiful,” I told him.

 He reached over me for the yellow sticky-note stack and black sharpie, scrawling something out before tearing off the note and sticking it to the piano right in front of me.

I love you. x

+++

“You nervous?” “More nervous than I’ve been in years,” I hurried back without looking at who was speaking, I recognised the voice of Harry’s manager.

It was halfway through Harry’s set on the second night in Los Angeles. We were getting a charter flight from LAX straight after the show to Jamaica for four days. But before that, I needed to get through what was about to happen next.

There was a grand piano on stage that wasn’t usually there, and Harry’s band were going to clear off for the song, leaving just Harry and me on stage. He was confident that our relationship would stay under wraps. It was easy enough to let the thousands of fans in the audience believe that I was merely the girl who helped Harry write the song. 

Harry’s band members came off, offering me wishes of luck as they all scrambled in different directions; some needing the bathroom and others on the hunt for a snack. I could hear Harry talking to the crowd, and I tried to tune into what he was saying.

“I have a treat coming up for you now,” He said slowly into his microphone, looking over his shoulder at where I was standing, probably checking I was there. The crowd roared.

“I’ll kill him for this,” I said to nobody in particular. 

“You were magic at soundcheck,” Harry’s drummer told me, “Have fun out there.”

“The story of the next song is probably my favourite of any of my songs,” Harry’s voice drew me back, I ran my hands down my skirt and ruffled my hair nervously, “It was a sad little broken song until this person came along and saved it … I’m so excited to have her here tonight to play it with me … Now, you all need to give her a very warm welcome because I am absolutely sure she will never agree to this again. For one night only, this is Nina Lawrence joining me to play my favourite song from the EP, Life Is Grey.”

I stumbled up the stairs and into the stage lights, crossing quickly to the middle where Harry was standing at his microphone. His face was cracked open in a huge smile that made me laugh at him as he opened his arms for a greeting hug. It felt oddly platonic, but he whispered he loved me right into my ear, turning back to his audience with one arm over my shoulder and the other held out wide, encouraging the applause being sent out way.

He took both his hands back to his microphone after a moment, and I shuffled behind him to find my place at the piano. It had been a long time since I was last on stage playing an instrument other than my trumpet. The sticky notes from soundcheck were still stuck to the piano and I smiled at them both.

I adjusted the microphone at my mouth and held my fingers over the keys, strumming out a few chords as Harry told the story of the song and thanked the crowd for the umpteenth time. Then, he turned to me and smiled, “Let’s go,” he mouthed.

I nodded once and started playing without breaking eye contact. 

+++

Whitehouse, Jamaica

“Chin up!”

Harry’s neck snapped back, his eyes hitting the ceiling, “It was! I swear, I looked down for a second.”

“You can’t look at your fingers,” I lowered myself onto the piano stool next to him, “It’s bad technique.”

“I was just checking,” He mumbled pathetically, ducking his cheek down to his bare shoulder to scratch at an itch.

“Your fingers are still there,” I told him gently, resting my hand on his thigh, his small yellow swimmer shorts showing more of his legs than I was used to, “It sounds lovely.”

“It sounds nothing like when you play it.”

“You’re grouchy, did you have a nap at all?” “No,” Harry frowned, when his fingers missed three notes in quick succession, “Shit.” “Don’t stop,” I encouraged, giving his leg a squeeze, “Keep going. A few missed notes are no reason to stop.”

I could feel droplets from my wet hair drip down my back, and one must have hit Harry because he turned to look at me with a smirk on his face as he inspected what I was wearing, “I like holiday Nina. She’s a bit of an exhibitionist.”

“Shut up! I’m wearing the same thing as you!”

Harry’s eyes dropped to my chest, biting his lip as his eyes hovered over my floral bikini top, “Trust me, it’s not even close to the same thing.”

“We’re fifteen metres from the beach!” I exclaimed, jumping up from my spot and stomping toward the kitchen, “Swimmers are perfectly acceptable attire.”

“I’m going to miss seeing your arse like this,” Harry had followed me in, he went over to the bar cart and got out two clean glasses, “Margarita?”

“Please,” I responded petulantly, my gaze going out over the small pool to the beach beyond our private condo. 

Harry stayed here years before when he was writing songs for his first solo album, and I loved that he brought me here too. It was private and secluded and beautiful … And came with a baby grand piano where I was continuing to teach Harry to play.

We took our drinks out to the ocean, dipping down in the warm water when it was a comfortable depth to sit and sip at the cocktails. This was our evening routine before cooking a meal together—a sunset swim, a few cocktails and usually, sex in the shower before dinner. Harry was very good at the holiday thing.

“I’m going to write the album in London,” He said after a long silence between us. “Well, as much as possible anyway.”

I waited a moment before responding, “Are you sure?” “I am,” Harry replied quickly. 

It was a decision he was taking his time on making, all his previous albums had been written in Los Angeles but for his next Harry was tossing up the idea of staying in the UK. I didn’t want to influence his decision at all, but in truth, the thought of him working overseas filled me with dread. I had grown so used to having him around, and the last four weeks, while he was on his micro tour, was insight enough into what it would be like if he wrote the album abroad.

Even worse was the thought of him writing the album in Los Angeles and then going straight into touring it worldwide. 

“What are you thinking?” He asked finally, “You’ve gone quiet on me.”

“I don’t want to jinx it,” I swam a little closer to him, accepting the seat when he hitched his leg up in front of him.

Harry kissed my shoulder, his free arm snaking around my waist in the water, “Jinx it?”

“Well, obviously I’m extremely biased to the writing in London plan …”

“You are?” Harry grinned up at me, freshly freckled from the sun and his nose a little pink.

“Yeah,” I moved my arm around his shoulder and took the final mouthful of my margarita.

“I love you,” He told me, “You’re a lot of the reason to stay in London. I don’t want to write overseas and then disappear on tour. We’ll never see each other.”

I frowned, “You shouldn’t stay just for me.”

“I also think it’s time to try something new with my music,” He continued, “I’ve always run away to write … Usually, with a broken heart or a deep sense of dissatisfaction in my life. This time will be different in so many ways. I don’t have a reason to run away.”

“You know if you stay in London, you’ll end up coming to a hundred symphonies?” 

“Sounds great,” Harry replied without blinking. “And my nosy girlfriends will be crashing in your living room after we day drink all summer in your backyard?”

He nodded, “I volunteer as Designated Driver.”

I screwed up my face, “You’ll probably end up with my hair ties all through your car, and I’ll take all your warmest socks?”

Harry mocked seriousness, “Right we’re buying you your own pair of those hiking socks, you can’t just rifle through my draws willy nilly.”

“I always eat more than half the ice cream,” I continued.

“You’re not going to convince me otherwise,” Harry kissed the side of my mouth, sweetly, “I love you, Nina.”

“And I love your socks.”

++

HELLO!

And now we’re really done!! Thank you so much for reading along and an every bigger thank you if you reached out at some point to say you liked this story. Your encouragement is worth more than gold.

xx

[takemealivelh]

Battle of the Bands Pt.3

2.4k | Enemies to Lovers | Pt.1 | Pt.2 | I honestly tried to look for a better picture that would fit this but I couldn’t so 

“You have a better view.”

To Jaida, there was nothing prettier than a Vegas morning. Pale pink-colored clouds and buildings, people walking with their coffees in their hands, either talking on the phone or with someone beside them. The Eiffel Tower made her feel like she was in Paris, even though she’d never left the states. She wondered if she’d be able to, after tonight.

Ashton shrugged from his position on the bed. Shirtless, red hair pushed back with a waking yawn, swollen marks on display. “Yeah, well… We’ve been around longer.” He reached out for a glass of water he had on the nightstand. “Are you nervous about tonight?”

The Billboard Awards started at 8 pm. Soundcheck was four hours prior and then the red carpet was at 6. 

Jaida turned to face him and leaned against the window banister. “Not really." She played with the buttons of the red shirt Ashton had left over a month ago at her place. He thought it looked stunning against her skin color. Unbuttoned, revealing the dark lingerie she had put on for him, covering just the right amount of her bare legs. “I love performing live. I prefer it,” she sighed and spun back around, resting her forehead against the condensed glass that overlooked the city.

The sun was hidden behind the clouds. She liked these kinds of days, they made her feel peaceful. The wild recklessness from the night before had already vanished, all that was left was a comfortable feeling. She could’ve gone as far as describing it as cozy. It startled her. This was the first time she didn’t feel like Ashton’s presence was a bother.

She’d surprised him the night before by knocking on the door of his hotel room, only two floors above from her and JJ’s. Ashton had a beer on his right hand when he opened the door. He didn’t get a chance to utter a word when Jaida unzipped the floor-length trenchcoat she’d bought a few days ago -for this exact reason- and revealed his half-buttoned shirt on her body. Ashton’s eyes had widened, breath caught on the back of his throat. He slipped a warm hand between the fabric of the silk outerwear and the cotton of the red shirt and grabbed her by the waist, making sure no one was around before he pulled her inside. 

“You want breakfast?”  

Ashton’s voice was husky, drenched in sleep. Throat sore from all the grunting of the previous night. “I was supposed to join my mates downstairs for the buffet, but we can order room service.” 

Jaida’s silence was longer than he expected it to be, he wondered what was going through her mind. She hadn’t left like she usually did, and he didn’t want her to go. Their hookups were consistently rough, fast and greedy, but last night had been different.

After pushing the trenchcoat off her body, Ashton had taken his time to tease her. He pressed his body against hers, pinning her against the nearest wall. His breathing had drawn out as he took the liberty to inhale the scent of her skin. He’d trailed slow, hot, suffocating kisses along her jawline. Jaida’s hands hadn’t gone immediately for the zipper of his jeans. She’d held onto his biceps, letting out small whines whenever his tongue would poke out.

“I’m craving eggs.”

Her voice snapped him out of the reminiscence. Ashton wrapped his fingers around the now empty glass of water. He took the time to explore her movements. The way two fine lines appeared between her eyebrows when she frowned. The way her frown seemed to last for only two seconds. How she brought her index finger -her fingernail, to be precise- to her right temple and tapped it four times. The way her chest and stomach seemed to rise when she took a deep breath through the nose, and the sizzling sound she made when she exhaled through the mouth.

She walked back towards him, standing close enough to feel the bed skirt on her knees. Ashton reached a hand to caress the outer side of her thigh, hoping that she’d lean down for a kiss. 

“I’m gonna take a shower, can you order?”

It wasn’t supposed to feel like a stab in the chest.

He hummed and nodded, feeling the skin of his arms bristle at the embarrassment of his train of thought. 

The water hit Jaida’s shoulderblades as she stood still. In less than 24 hours she would have to go on stage and perform. She hadn’t lied to Ashton, she really did enjoy performing, and she really did prefer that instead of playing in a studio or in a rehearsal room. The adrenaline her body experienced whenever the crowd would cheer, or when she’d catch a glimpse of a thousand people dancing, was addictive. Midnight Street had performed on live TV as well, several times, especially these past few weeks. Somehow, the Billboard Awards performance was stressing her. She didn’t like this new nerve-wracking feeling. She didn’t understand it.

Then again, it was the first time -in quite a while- that she’d have to go on stage, play and prove something to someone. 

The tabloids were divided, some of them were on her side. Most of them were on Ashton’s. Even when the Midnight Street single had been streamed well over 60,000,000 times on Spotify, the only reason the numbers were so high was because of Ashton. Her band had a good following that’d been there since the early days. EPs, demos, they were popular. 5SOS was an internationally loved and well-respected band, she was nervous she wouldn’t be able to keep up. The reputation of Midnight Street rested on her shoulders.

“Food’s here.” Ashton knocked on the bathroom door. The steam was seeping through the cracks. She had been there for a long time.

“Okay!”

Jaida turned the faucet off and pressed the palms of her hands against her eyes. She hoped some kind of acupuncture would help her calm down. But she did not know acupuncture.

“Are you alright?”

The voice echoed through the tiles, travelling to her ears. 

“Yeah!” she called, wondering if the weight on her chest would be gone by the night. “Just one second.”

Ashton had put on a pair of pyjamas bottoms to answer the door. He’d texted his bandmates that he had a rough hangover and he’d see them later for soundcheck. The smell of eggs and bacon filled the hotel room. Freshly squeezed orange juice, two mugs of Arabic coffee, whole-wheat toasts, a plate of strawberries, mangoes and pineapple. It took a lot for Ashton not to sink his teeth in the mouth-watering breakfast.

His eyebrows furrowed together when Jaida stepped out in a bathrobe. She had a towel wrapped around her head and her eyes were bloodshot red. Silently, she made her way towards the bed and sat on the edge, grabbed a piece of pineapple and chewed on it like she didn’t crave it. Ashton didn’t want to push her to talk, but he knew something wasn’t right. Her posture wasn’t the same confident one that drove him insane. She looked like a defeated warrior.

They ate in silence. Maybe he should’ve gone downstairs with his bandmates.

But she looked so worried. Ashton mentally cursed himself for thinking like an insensitive ass, but also for thinking like someone who cared.

A bluesy ringtone went off on the other side of the room. “That’s my phone.”

He watched her stand up and answer, he listened to her pretend she didn’t have a million things on her mind. She’d been fine the night before. She’d been tender under his touch and aggressive on top of him. 

“I gotta go.”

Jaida huffed and quickly went to grab her stuff on the dresser. Ashton’s suit was hung above, a two-piece black suit and a striped black-and-white shirt. She had joked last night that he’d given her the only piece of color he had in his closet.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes!” She snapped. “Fuck! Yes! I’m okay, I’m-” She trailed off when she saw the concern on Ashton’s eyes. He hadn’t moved from the bed. He hadn’t moved at all.

A long sigh escaped her lips as she threw her belongings back on the dresser and stripped off the bathrobe. Ashton tried not to be hypnotized by her nakedness. It wasn’t the time.

“This is your fault. This is all your fault.” 

Her words were harsh as she put the trenchcoat back on. Fingers shaking too much to slip on the lingerie. She let her hair fall, wet, behind her back as she tossed the towel on the floor. 

“What? Jaida, what’s going on? You were fine last night, you were-”

“Well, clearly not now!”

They remained silent for a while, eyes locked. Her breathing had increased its volume and its pace. Ashton walked over to her and she shook her head, took a few steps back, the back of her legs hitting the dresser.

He noticed the dark stains on the trenchcoat, droplets of her hair. She looked pale, her lips looked chapped. “I just wanna help.”

Ashton whispered against her skin, arms hesitant to wrap around her waist and bring her closer to him. She looked up at him. “You’ve done enough. It’s your fault that I’m this freaked out about something I do for a living.”

It dawned on him. The countless interviews he had insulted her, he hadn’t thought she would take it so personally. But how couldn’t she, when he was attacking her every single day? 

“To be fair, you weren’t so nice either.”

“Yeah, but my band isn’t as established as yours. After tonight, you will still have a career no matter what. I could fucking lose everything I’ve worked for. JJ has bent over backwards for this band, Ashton. Travis and Joel have nothing else. We have nothing else, okay?”

The fast vibrato on her voice broke his heart.

“Let me go!”

But he didn’t. Ashton held her tighter until she calmed down. He felt the tears against his naked chest and he cursed himself for getting too attached to this woman. The same woman who was crying because of him.

“I’m really sorry.”

Jaida pushed him away and wiped the tears off with the sleeve of her trenchcoat. “No, you’re not,” she scoffed. 

Before he could say anything else, she picked up her things and pushed right by him, going for the door. “See you tonight, then.”

-

Jaida had to reassure her band that she was okay. They’d been exchanging looks when they noticed how her hands were shaking, or when she almost tripped on the stairs, or when she almost hit a wall.

“I’m fine! JJ, no. I’m really fine.” 

She was dragged back inside the dressing room, JJ’s hand gripping on her wrist. 

“Listen, I love you but you need to tell us, or at least tell me, what is going on, okay? Soundcheck is about to start. We can’t have you playing with shaky hands, Jaida. Tonight has to be perfect.”

-

“Ash, you’ve been staring at your phone a lot. Everything okay?”

It was just the four members of 5SOS in the dressing room. They had just done their soundcheck and were getting ready to go back to the hotel, take a shower and dress up for the red carpet. As the rest of them were putting their guitars and bass in their cases, Ashton was glued to the sofa, not engaging in whatever conversation they had going on.

“It’s about that girl, isn’t it?”

Michael’s voice seeped right through his stubborn brain. Ashton looked up at his mates. 

“She was really freaked out this morning. She-”

“This morning?” Calum raised an eyebrow as the rest of the band walked over to where Ashton was sitting. They were intrigued. “You mean, you-”

“Yes, I fucked her last night.” Ashton shrugged and kept scrolling through his phone. He didn’t know what he was looking for, or if he was waiting for a text from Jaida or anything. “Yes, I have fucked her several times since we met. We’ve kept this thing going. And now she’s worried she’s about to mess up her band’s career because of me.”

No one said anything for a while. 

“Fuck, she’s right, isn’t she?” Ashton threw his phone to the side and dropped his head between his knees in frustration. 

“I mean,” Luke cleared his throat, “you started it, Ash.”

“You’ve said over and over again that Midnight Street is not gonna be around for long because of this, because of that… you really didn’t expect her to-”

Ashton stood up and interrupted Michael. “I can’t deal with this right now, I have to find her.”

“Do you think he likes her? Like, as more as someone he’s hooking up with?” Luke wondered after Ashton left the dressing room.

Michael shook his head, “I don’t know, mate. I do know he really thinks highly of her. And he respects her as a musician.”

“He’s so fucked.”

“Yeah.”

-

Ashton tried her phone, he tried her room, no answer. She wasn’t on the BBMA’s dressing room, she wasn’t on the hotel’s lobby. He couldn’t find her or any member of her band, for that matter. He needed to tell her that all of his stupid insults were because he felt threatened. Because he thought Midnight Street was a solid band and he didn’t want them to upstage his own.

The interviewers went straight for him as soon as 5SOS stepped on the red carpet. 

Ashton, what do you expect of Midnight Street’s performance tonight? Are you going to be watching Midnight Street’s performance? Ashton?

Is Midnight Street’s performance, Ashton, something you’re looking forward to seeing tonight?

He avoided the questions. 

“I’m looking forward to everybody’s performance tonight. I think it’s going to be a good night to celebrate music and to show our fans the thought and energy we put in our shows. As a band…”

Ashton didn’t give the answers the press wanted to hear. Instead, he stuck to the ones he hadn’t delivered before, but still rang true. He thought to himself how stupid he’d been, trying to put another band down instead of building up his pride and joy.

He felt a tap on his shoulder, he directed his eyes to where Calum was gesturing with his chin. 

Midnight Street had just arrived.

“Fuck.” He mumbled under his breath.

Jaida looked like a vision. He was so accustomed to seeing her in power suits that he almost forgot how great her legs were. A fitting, thigh-length, burgundy dress

-

-

-

This was supposed to be the end of this fic but I couldn’t bring myself to write anymore, maybe one day I’ll finish this but I probably won’t. If you’re reading this, thank you. I just didn’t want to have this draft laying around and not posting it. I’m probably being impulsive and dramatic (that’s who I am) but I am not happy. It hurt to realize that so I’m either gonna take a break or just not come back. Some kind of explanation here. Thank you for reading. It has meant a lot to me.

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[fyeahtxt]

Inside Tomorrow X Together's Debut Showcase in Seoul: 'We're Really Thankful We've Had This Great Reaction'

"We don't think we're deserving to be called BTS' little brother," TXT leader Soobin told local media. "We'll work harder."

March 5 would have just been a normal day in the K-pop industry with a new boy band set to meet the media at their debut showcase, except for the fact that it was no normal group about to make its first appearance.

Less than 24 hours after sharing their debut single with the world, Tomorrow X Together was making their first-ever media appearance to meet international press, perform their song "Crown" and share a bit more about themselves. As was announced multiple times throughout the conference, Tomorrow X Together -- also known as TXT -- was the "first idol group from Big Hit Entertainment in six years" marking the biggest artistic addition to the company since BTS' debut in 2013. Before and after the showcase, those familiar with the K-pop scene chatted about the large number of reporters in attendance, the band's already huge YouTube numbers on the "Crown" video, as well the fact that English-speaking interpreters were on hand to translate for international media in attendance (including Billboard).

Taking place at YES24 Live Hall in Seoul, the location had a particular sentimental significance as the venue was the location where BTS held their first-ever concert when it was known as AX-Korea. If just from the symbolism between the venues, Big Hit Entertainment's interest and standing in the industry has undoubtedly swelled, never mind the humongous posters draping the building and curious fans in school uniforms buzzing around once the showcase ended.

With how many genre barriers both BTS and Big Hit has broken in the global music industry, TXT's first moments with the media were undoubtedly K-pop. Members Soobin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun and Hueningkai approached the stage individually, introducing themselves by posing for photos and sharing their own unique pose -- with youngest members Taehyun and Hueningkai delivering overly adorable poses. Each member had his own tagline as Beomgyu was introduced as "the life of the party" and emphasized that he can speak in the local accent of Daegu (a fun thing for stars to share during variety show appearances on Korean TV), Soobin emphasized his ability to be supportive to his fellow members, and Hueningkai shared how "his charm is cuteness." With a nervous-but-excited energy, each member spoke with gusto, making sure to introduce themselves individually every time he spoke, thank each reporter upon every single question, and bow several times throughout the showcase.

"They look tense," the MC for the event told reporters. "But you can see their passion. They may be nervous, but please encourage them. I met them a little before the event and I could see they're a little nervous about whether they'd be able to put on a good performance."

But despite how nervous and formal TXT treated the event, their passion was on display at all moments when cameras were and weren't on them. While Soobin was delivering one last pose for photographers, Taehyun happily danced to the group's "Crown" single off to the side of the stage as it played in the background. Taehyun and his band mates would all get the chance to dance for the crowd with the first public performance of "Crown" showing off the playful and athletic choreography that included intricate formations and lifts.

During the Q&A portion of the conference, Tomorrow X Together expanded on overall themes of their group including the team name's meaning (Yeonjun said "Tomorrow X Together means you and I have come together in pursuit of one dream"), the story behind their EP's title The Dream Chapter: Star ("When you are young in adolescence, you feel like you can't do things but when you meet other people you can," explained Soobin, adding "this is a story about meeting new people") and name of their debut single ("I'm sure everyone was confused, but it's about growing pains in adolescence," Taehyun said in reference of the single's Korean title which essentially translates to "The Day Horns Grew Out of My Head").

During the reporter Q&As, TXT expanded on several lurking questions including their connection to older brother group BTS. "We really look up to them," Yeonjun explained when asked how they reacted to their seniors sharing encouraging words to the media on TXT's debut. "They work around the world, so we can't meet them very often. We saw on TV what they said, we were doing a recording, and we were watching the red carpet and [we saw that]. It's a global stage when they speak, we were obviously very moved."

Soobin further talked about how TXT first becoming known as BTS' younger brother band. "That title, or what people say about us, I think it's an honor to be the little brothers of BTS," he said. "I don't think we're deserving to be the younger brother of BTS...we'll work harder." Meanwhile, Hueningkai recognized that the initial struggle BTS had in their early years inspires this new group. "Obviously, we were able to witness the great things from our older brother BTS," the 16-year-old shared. "They struggled at the beginning and that really inspires us."

TXT also spoke about a noted difference between themselves and BTS as the five members were not involved in the writing or production of their first EP, a trait that BTS has maintained since their debut. "Unfortunately, we were not able to participate directly with the lyrics," Beomgyu explained, before adding that Yeonjun did create the group's signature pose. Still, the boys shared that songs like "Cat & Dog" showcase their personal love of hip-hop, specifically mumble rap, and that Beomgyu and Hueningkai were working on their own music very hard and that when they are "more proficient" they would like to participate in the writing and production process.

The group spotlighted how the overall message of The Dream Chapter: Star relates to their personal experiences. Beomgyu said, "When I became a part the company [Big Hit] and met the members, I was able to deal with a lot of things that were bothering me and that helped me overcome my growing pains" as Taehyun shared how "we all connected music as adolescents."

When it came to advice from their seniors, TXT explained both BTS and Big Hit Entertainment CEO 'Hitman' Bang shared key words of wisdom. "Mr. Bang told us that practice is how you build your confidence," Soobin said. "[He told us], 'If you practice hard, you'll figure out why practice is so important.'" The BTS boys further emphasized practice as Soobin added, that "they told us they also practiced very hard for their stages and their performances" helping both the band and their company become renowned for their live shows. Hueningkai commented "They also emphasized teamwork -- always think about the value and importance of the team," a sentiment echoed by Beomgyu later in the conference when he said BTS told them how "we are team, we're always watching you, we're always encouraging you."

But among the nerves and the excitement in the room, Tomorrow X Together's biggest takeaway seemed to be wanting to spend their hour with the media by showing their gratitude and ambition.

"The fact that we're here with our debut is amazing and we're really thankful that we've had this great reaction," Taehyun reflected. "We're really surprised, we think it's a little too much…we would like to thank the fans who have waited, the members of the Big Hit family who have worked so hard and thank you to the media and photographers here." One of Soobin's last thoughts came in him saying, "I'm thankful that people are calling for us. I know we have so many things to do, we're just starting out, we're still need a lot of practice. We hope to be a TXT that meets high expectations," with the band sharing hopes to perform overseas soon. As they made their way around the concert hall to quickly greet the media in attendance before being whisked away to a showcase for fans starting hours later, that same focused, excited energy remained high in the room as reporters rushed to publish photos and articles, likely confirming their suspicions that Tomorrow X Together is K-pop's next global player.

— Billboard

[randomthingsthatilike1]

Honestly remember season 1 and Maxwell Lord was taken into the DEO without due process and that's when James was like hey maybe the DEO actually isn't good. At all. And he was right but at the time he was only talking about humans at the time, and how they were treating humans. But what if this led his season 2 arc, with him as the head of this massive media company was James realizing that the DEO is actually alien Guantanamo.

These aliens had at minimum 24 years of being locked up, since that was how long Kara was in The Phantom Zone. We have no idea how long they were sentenced there for, or even for what. And what we know is that the DEO would then capture the alien, take them in, and decide whether or not they will be locked up forever and probably horrible confinement with no sunlight, or cell mates, or any chance of parole. Just look at that tiny cell Astra had. There is no parole, they are there forever without any kind of due process or rights, with agents possibly also conducting experiments on them, like they did with Astra and Kryptonite. They literally tortured Astra--and have you ever seen an alien prisoner with a lawyer? I haven't.

Jonn had to pretend to be Hank for over a decade--Hank, who clearly had a bunch of friends in the military as we see in that ep where Alex is interrogated by Lucy in s1. You can't all of a sudden be an alien lover and have extremely Progressive views. Maybe he can gradually and arbitrarily make changes, like letting go of the professor of astronomy that we see, who Hank probably would have kept imprisoned, or doing his best to recruit people who aren't all hardcore xenophobes. But it's not enough.

The DEO literally play judge, jury, and executioner with alien lives.

am not exaggerating when I say this is alien Guantanamo

and James realizing this, especially realizing this when he remembers that they shot Kara out of the sky with Kryptonite and locked her up before letting her go. It's almost a survival thing for Kara to work with them, because this could be her. And it's one thing when it is all the Fort Rozz aliens trying to kill her, but what about all the other aliens in national city?

And do you know who's also end up being on his side? Someone he talks to as a point to be like yes this is the alternative we need, James isn’t just going to be like “this is wrong,” oh no, he’s going to have a solution and ideas of how to make the system better, an alternate especially since right now it seems like for any crime aliens get life sentences. Who this would bring him into contact with? Detective Maggie Sawyer from National City Police Department's science branch. And oh look. Now we also have a cohesive storyline for Maggie that exists outside of Alex.

And that's definitely one way to cause conflict between James and Kara, temporarily breaking them up. Because yes Alex definitely took the job in case they ever came after Kara--she straight out says multiple times she did this to protect Kara, because as she was before she couldn't take on the DEO, and this would give her hours, maybe days of warning that she might need to grab Kara and run-- but it was also a Lifeline when she was struggling. and there's also a fact that most of the aliens Alex encounters wouldn't hesitate to try and kill Aluras daughter if they knew about her, and she says in season one that J'onn told her that they were going to save the world. She then makes a point that she can't distinguish between aliens and humans anymore, but we don't really see that in DEO policies, other than they'll now take in humans with powers as well as aliens. To do what she does, Alex needs to believe that she's in the right-- and tbh it kind of reminds me about border patrol dynamics w their family members(when I went to El Paso,TX--and this is from both undocumented immigrants and the border patrol themselves--they mentioned that several border patrol agents would have family members who were there illegally and it's just the dynamic they live with it's definitely an interesting but complicated topic).

This entire media war would definitely place James at odds with Alex. And even if Kara understands (even if it's a truth Kara doesn't want to acknowledge because so much of her life is hard and complicated and she doesn't want to think about how tenuous her freedom really is, and what she's maybe done for the past year), both Kara and Alex choose each other first, always. It's not a man (or racism) who breaks up Kara and James. And James understands, he does, and he hopes that one day maybe Kara will stop being scared of what could happen (and if she is, its because hes helped shape a world where she wont be)--but it's not going to stop him.

This is what's right. This isn't bs contrived drama--god, the metaphor and symbolism alone, about a black man being in control of the media narrative of the xenophobic practices of shady government law enforcement that do what they want to a vulnerable minority population, shaping public opinion, acting as the moral compass of the show? Mindblowing

This is how James Olsen can end up being a guardian for others. Not with his fists, or against muggers. Because this is something he can do that Kara can't. Kara may be a reporter, can go against a thousand corrupt politicians and institutions potentially--but not the DEO. She can't do this--as an alien, she's under their purview. But James, as a civilian and a human, isn't. Kara Danvers may be somewhat of a big name for a few select journalism circles by being Cat's assistant for 3 years but that’s a selective circle (and how many nights do you think Kara stays up late, trying to avoid thinking about what scenario would make the DEO come after her, or how many times they almost did, how much information they collected on her, before she ever became Supergirl) James said it himself--he took that picture, and now everyone knows his name.

This is not about punches and fighting--this is how James can frame the narrative to shape public opinion and make change on a global scale. He's not some random reporter the DEO can disappear, or intimidate into compliance. He just became the head of an international media company, and he’s publicly known as Superman’s best friend--this has nothing to do with Superman, but he, with all his fragile humanity, has been threatened and intimidated by every single goddamn villain Superman has gone against and came out the other side breathing. Sure he’s scared, but when has that ever stopped him?

He’s James fucking Olsen, and he’ll hold his head high as he does what’s right.

[noiseartists]

HOIRONG, talented post-indie noise bringers from India

Noise manipulators, from the Indian sub-continent, HOIRONG is a brainchild of frontman/guitarist - Kamal Singh. “The fat and ugly stepsister of pop music” is how they describe their music, and their latest album, Cow Gives Milk, is one of the best releases of 2019 from India that delivers an interesting mix of cleverly crafted Noise, Shoegaze, Punk and everything in between.

Basically you alternate between Madness and Pure Joy in beautifully crafted songs. Be ready to be entertained, enjoyed and surprised.

Here are a few example to listen to, illustrating the band’s variety of sounds and influences:

Note that they are part of Noise Artists Indian Shoegaze, Noise & Dream Pop volume 1 with other great bands We invite you in this piece to discover their music, who they are (interview, as whacky as their music can be), where to find their music and more information on the band.

THE BAND

The current line-up is:

Kamal

Akhil

Akshat

THE MUSICAL WORK

HOIRONG diverse musical work to date is as follows:

Cow Gives Milk (April 2019)

Mwah, LP, (May 2016)

The Old Newz, EP, (April 2015)

Dandaniya Apradh, LP, (August 2014)

Nursery Lies, LP, (2014)

A Hoirong Christmas (2013)

The Resurrection Of The Princess Of Woe And Her Vampire Hound Posse, LP, (March 2013)

Singles:

If I Slit Your Throat Would Your Blood Turn To Doves That Fly Out From Your Neck And Leave Me In Complete Awe, Nov 2014

23/24 (Dennis Rodman Tribute), Nov 2014

Under Section 87, 2014

Covers:

I Swear (All For One), March 2015

Lakhan (From The Movie - Ram Lakhan), July 2015

1979 (Smashing Pumpkins), June 2018

Titanium (David Guetta), 2013

Aaja Meri Gaadi Mein Betja (Baba Sehgal, Anu Malik), 2013

2 Become 1 (Spice Girls), 2014

Enter Sandman (Metallica), 2014

Smile (Unknown Artist), 2014

THE INTERVIEW

What is your music about?

Kamal: Living, Love, Laughter and Food

Akshat: Living, Love, Laughter, Food and Suicide

Tell us about the artists you have worked with.

Kamal: They are very good and it was a pleasure to work with each and every one of them.

We look forward to crossing paths once again in this lifetime.

Having said that, there are some people we have never worked with and never ever, ever…. like EVER want to work with them. We also have very bad things to say about them.

Akshat: Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell, that Masterchef guy, and many others. We like to work with Hoirong’s.

Where are you from? Where are you living now?

Kamal: India, We live in different cities…but we could say that we are based in Delhi/Bangalore

Akshat: What Kamal said, But additionally, seems like Akhil lives on twitter since we barely hear from him other than his tweets.

Akhil: We are a dysfunctional group where, half the time, we have no idea what the others are up to. But we get together (digitally) every few months when it’s time to work on music or release something.

What did you study?

Kamal: Quite a few things that I now realise I completely wasted my time on. That does not mean in any way that I had or have better things to do. Not at all. Not one millisecond of that thought even crosses my mind but maybe it did and I am in denial because I am mentioning it and in some way defending it. If it was not true why would I even be saying it.

Akshat: The art of following pursuits which will probably amount to nothing or very little at all

Akhil: Kamal is trying to say in a roundabout way that he studied music therapy. Akshat dropped out of engineering college I think. I studied English literature and journalism for some reason.

Kamal: No, I’m not. I was talking about school and the many things I tried to study and tormented myself.

What is your day job at present if any?

Kamal: Music Therapy

Akshat: New media Artist / FIlmmaker

Akhil: Writer/journalist.

Do you dream to live from your music or is it a passion you do not want to spend your full time on?

Kamal: This is definitely a trick question. My answer is … None of the above…. and …. Music is a dream and time is life. And to freely misquote Steve Vai “Passion is Warfare”

Akshat: No I don’t dream to live

Akhil: Never. Have you heard our music?

You have a great history. Could you tell us more on how the band came to be and its history really?

Kamal: The band came as a surprise. Hoirong began out of the intention of never being a band. It’s just misery to be a band and totally unproductive and completely useless. Why would anyone want to be in a band??? Everything I’ve just said here is a lie. This is just total reverse psychology to myself and everyone who has stood with us through the thick and thin that life has offered us. I would like to apologise on behalf of the band for all our mistakes and for the utter irresponsibility we have carried ourselves with. We have disappointed you and therefore, we hang our heads in shame and self disgust.

Akshat: I was and am a fan of Kamal’s writing before joining the band. One day he asked me out for a date, and I was like “Really”, and he was like “Really” and I was like “Damn, this is a dream come true”, and he was like “Give me 3 Rohypnol” to the chemist. Things are a little blurry after that, but safe to say nothing was the same ever since.

Akhil: Short answer: Kamal started it off as a solo thing to put out his music and Akshat and I barged our way into it and insisted he play with us.

Could you tell me how the band meet and decided to do music together?

Kamal: Mostly we just text each other. Recently we started sending each other voice messages on whatsapp.

Akshat: We usually try not to communicate unless absolutely necessary.

Akhil: Same as above.

Can you tell me the inspiration behind your band? You can detect the influences of noise and punk rock. You took these influences to make your own music, your own sound, which is not easy. Could you tell more?

Kamal: Yes, this is true. We might have done this without realising. By the way, the Air Jordans on Snapdeal, I am told, are fake.

Akshat: The 80’s No-wave movement, the 90’s garage and alternative movements, and basically every sound made by people dressed as bums.

Akhil: All the pretentious art movements of the last many decades.

Kamal: Wow! That’s a lot of putting together. We might have outdone ourselves.

Can you tell us about some of your favourite bands, the music you listen now, some you may want to bring the attention from the reader to?

Kamal: I like the music of Space Behind the Yellow Room and my new favourite band is Lo! Peninsula. Yes, both the bands paid me to say that and yes, I am the promoter for both the bands and so I just take every chance I get to plug them? Yeah!! we plug them both as hard as we can. Plug it to ya! Its plugged in!!!

Having said that, both these band would sound terrible unplugged.

Akshat: Indian bands I love are Lifafa, The Superfuzz, and HOIRONG.

You should definitely listen to HOIRONG. They are better than the other two I mentioned.

Akhil: Hoirong and Carly Rae Jepsen.

Was there a vision of sorts or did you know what you wanted to do when you started up?

Kamal: Yes. It was very clear - don’t waste my time. I did not mean that you are wasting my time. I meant that I and we as some sort of band should not waste time. Please believe me.

Akshat: Yeah there was a vision. It was meant to be like the opening 20 minutes of ‘Almost Famous’, but ended up being more like the ending 10 minutes of ‘The Shining’

Akhil: Just playing music.

Do you have any other musical side projects apart from this band?

Kamal: Yes, we have a few.

Akhil: We’re all always doing something or the other musically. Most of it is shit.

Could you tell me more on the band composition? Do you have plans to add new members, or is there possible departure scheduled from existing band members?

Kamal: Yes, we plan to add band members because there has always been a possibility that Akhil actually finally leaves us and joins a very famous world music fusion band. Well!.... good for him and good for them.

Akshat: I really hope Akhil stops holding us back after this album and quits. Akhil i hope you are reading this.

Akhil: We might get rid of the drummer.

Can you tell us more how you came to have the band’s name?

Kamal: It suited us so well, we had no way to talk ourselves out of it.

Who writes the song and the music and how do you get to the final song? Is it a community process, do you have leaders in composing or arranging music?

I, Kamal, the control freak Dictator won’t let anyone do anything.

Akshat: Supreme Leader and Commander in grief, Kamalala writes the frame, and then together we create the painting which eventually makes people eyes and ears bleed.

Akhil: Kamal writes all the songs (because we let him) and then we work on them - sometimes together, usually individually.

Do you listen to the advice of your band mates? What would you do if they said a song was shit but you liked it?

Kamal: Best way to deal with these situations is not to answer phone calls, ignore text messages and never make the mistake of opening whatsapp messages, you know what I mean? because if you do then the blue double fake nike logos change colour and... that’s that then.

Akshat: Never. I am the best and know better than everyone else in this band. +1 to what Kamal said

Akhil: No.

Was it kind of intimidating going to record knowing people might not be engaging with the songs in terms of hooks and such and trying to deliver an engaging sound on record?

Kamal: Oh! No! not at all. We are very confident and self assured as individuals. We have very high self-worth and self-esteem.

Akshat: Every night while finishing my daily bottle of scotch, I think, nay hope, that people will get our music, but know that it is too ahead of its time, and that they will never, and then I cry myself to sleep. Every night.

Akhil: No, I think we’ve gotten past those insecurities for the most part.

Talking about the lyrics: who write them? Is there a common thread in them, a theme? Who chose the songs’ name?

Who else…. that Dictator control freak.

Do you labor over your lyrics? Is that something that comes easy?

Kamal: Not at all. I wouldn’t say it was easy…. I think it comes fairly easily. Like… not too bad types. Yeah, medium speed and medium pace.

Do you have a message that you want to get across in your music? If so, what are some of the messages you want to spread?

Kamal: Yes we do. Love, Beauty, Peace, Child Labour, E-waste and Save the Forest and also Save the Tiger.

Did your listening habits changed over the years and does it affect what you write?

Kamal: Yes, We have gotten more impatient and maybe that has made us very idiotic as people too. I don't think we'll make it very far if we don't do something about it soon.

Akshat: Yes listening habits have changed. Earlier there was lesser access, but more meaning. Now there’s infinite access, but far lesser meaning, there’s an overpopulation of content and that is diluting the value and timelessness of art. but that’s just me. It affects how one thinks, feels and of course writes music. I think there is more pressure now than ever to write meaningful music and not contribute to the pile of crap already out there.

Akhil: My listening habits change every few months but I think we all will continue to like punk and the dirty guitar rock that informs Hoirong often.

How is your recognition going worldwide? Is it growing? Are you happy with it?

Kamal: It’s terrible. No we are the opposite of Happy. We are turning into a bunch of jealous crocodiles.

Akshat: We are world famous in India

Is it easy to find producers and studios where you live for indie-rock?

Kamal: Yeah, but none of them want to work with us. We keep asking for discounts and tell them we will pay them when we become famous or from the gigs we play but we never do and now they know all this too well to make fools of themselves anymore. I totally get it. No offense meant and none taken.

Your recorded sound is very good, which is not easy. Did you engineer the sound yourself, or did you have a sound engineer with you? If yes could you tell us more about him/her?

Kamal: No one wants to work with us. Viraj Mohan took bait once along with Keshav Dhar but now they know all our tricks.

Akhil: Not that he needs any more flattery, but the new record - as with a lot of the old ones - has been produced by Kamal on his Acer desktop.

Was it a community work to try to have the best sounding music possible or mainly driven by the sound engineer or by the band?

Kamal: Ok. Now you’re just trying to rub it in no?

Can you tell us how the recording process was?

Kamal: Terrible. Boring and very very tiring.

Akhil: For me, it was just recording hundreds of guitar parts to the songs at home and waiting for the mixes to see what made it and how the songs changed shape.

Could you let us know some important technical tricks you learnt during the process that could help other musicians not as experienced?

Kamal: Making Akhil play his parts and not recording him.

Akhil: He’s talking shit.

How did the recording work differ over time?

Kamal: We started paying more attention to the complaints we were receiving. This decision has led to purchasing a new sound card and a couple of headphones along with a laptop charger.

Akshat: We are very democratic and heard the public and acted upon it. One of the main issues people had with our music was Akhil’s crap guitar playing. So now, in this new album, we have basically buried his parts waaaaaaayyyyy in the back of the mix so that they are there but not there.

Akhil: Why is the drummer answering music related questions? Learn to play a real instrument first.

Is the recording material yours when you are out of a studio or do you borrow/rent it?

Kamal: No, no. We own everything we have.

Akshat: We mostly just burn the evidence after. That’s why no two albums of ours sound the same.

Akhil: I bought a brand new soundcard just to record my parts for this album.

Any interesting anecdotes on some recording session you would like to share?

Kamal: No, not really.

Did getting the live experience across on record create any pressure for yourselves in the recording process?

Kamal; No, the other method is severely pressurising, demotivating and very very emotionally destructive.

Akhil: If anything, Hoirong’s live sound (if we ever play live) tends to be very different from how we are on record.

Instruments: Are you mainly a Fender band?

Kamal: We don’t own any fenders but having said that we have seen some of them here and there *ahem* *cough* *cough* *hint* *hint*

Akshat: Dude there is a drummer in this band as well, what the fuck? Couldn’t you have mentioned a drum brand just for courtesy? That’s it, my interview is over.

*throws rock star tantrum and stops answering questions*

Akhil: Fender sucks. I am a left-handed guitar player and I play a PureSalem. I originally wanted a Fender Jazzmaster. But while the righty version was some $700, the EXACT SAME GUITAR left-handed would have cost me $3500 as well as import duties and a waiting period through the custom shop.

Kamal: Ooooo so much to talk about suddenly. “PureSalem”

Do you have one favorite instrument or do you change often?

Kamal: I change often.

Tell us what you are looking when trying to achieve your sounds? Do you experiment a lot or have a clear idea of what you want?

Kamal: Both.

Who is the more knowledgeable with pedals? You use them a lot, to great effect.

Kamal: Akshat is the expert.

PS - I just realised that pedals could mean 5 different things.

He could be the expert in selling drugs.

He could be an expert bicycle guy.

He could be an expert in guitar effects.

He could be an expert in hi hat and kick drum pedals.

He could be an expert race car driver.

See...Now… we will never know the correct answer.

Akshat: Kamal knows me so well.

How many concerts a year would you do on average and what would be the size of the venue?

Kamal: Last year we did one concert. The size of the venue was good. The stage was small so one of us had to stand off stage. It was difficult to concentrate on the gig trying to make sure our bandmate was not feeling out of place.

Akhil: it wasn’t last year, it was 2016.

Kamal: Oh!

Would you mind sharing some good anecdotes from your concerts/touring?

Kamal: Not enough experience to share any anecdotes.

Akshat: Kamal lies. He has a knack of getting into fights with people, which Akshat tries to diffuse, and then he gets angry at Akshat and beats the shit out of him. This has happened at 2 different festivals with people of 2 different nationalities.

Kamal : Akshat????

What are some places around the world that you hope to take your band? Do you have any plans at present to tour in other countries?

Kamal: Yes, we hope to be able to play in at least one more country apart from India.

Is there any reason in particular that you want to go to these places? Is there something about the music scene in those places that makes you want to go there?

Kamal: No reason really.

THE SCENE

Is it easy for an Indian indie bands to be known internationally? Do you have any example?

Kamal: Maybe it is. We hope it is.

Akshat: Not really. No one really cares about Indian bands not singing in Hindi since its not exotic enough.

Has the scene changed since you began, and if so how?

Kamal: Yes, the cover bands have come back. Yay!

Akshat: Yes, when we started there was a live band scene in India, quite a nice one at that. Then the Dj’s and EDM took over and now we don’t have that many live bands and a scene as such. But such is life , and thats a trend everywhere. Not hating, just stating.

Akhil: Not hating just stating lol.

Could you tell us a bit more about your record label and your relationship with it?

Kamal: We have no relationship with any record label.

How did the funding worked for the LP? Did you invest a lot yourself? Was your label supportive in that respect?

Kamal: No, no one supported us. We have no funding and we don’t really invest in ourselves. We learned the hard way. The only reason we are still around is because we believe in ourselves and would not give up no matter what.

Akshat: lol, what funding?

Where does the majority of the money go when you’re paying your own way?

Kamal: The funny part is there actually is no money that comes or goes anywhere when you are paying your own way. The money is just over, finished!

Akshat: lol, what money?

Do you make a decent revenue from your music or is it still very much a hobby?

Kamal: Not at all, we make a killing.

Akshat: Lol, What revenue?

How do you sell your recordings (shops, online, …)?

Kamal: Please Akshat, please surprise me by saying. “Lol, what shops?, Lol, what online?”

Akshat: Shops selling physical music in this digital age? Lol, … (stops himself)

Kamal: Rolls eyes dramatically.

Akshat: Rolls eyes back with double drama.

Akhil: Bandcamp is great. Other than that, we’re now on all the major streaming services, so we expect to make around $0.00006 for every thousand plays.

When is the next album due?

Kamal: Very soon. Akshat: With Akhil, probably in 2 years. Without Akhil, Yesterday

Akhil: Once we figure out our drummer scene.

Any other project (ie movies soundtrack, …) or plans.

Kamal: Yes, A collaboration with traditional Manipuri folk music.

Akshat: I’ve been writing some music independently, and with another band called Mag Phos so more music there

Akhil Sood: I write aimless music at home under the name Free Drone. I recently got a Chinese four-string guitar called a xuian (sp?) so maybe something with that.

Do you plan to continue music for a long time or are you tired of it?

Kamal: Both, I am tired of it but I plan to continue making music for a long time.

Akshat: It’s like that first girlfriend you had, whom you truly fell in love with but are also horrible together. You know you are bad for each other, because it’s all so volatile, but that’s also what keeps bringing you back to it. But it’s also like you’ve both become middle aged now, and are kinda like friends with benefits. How long that is going to last, well we’ll find out.

Kamal: Middle aged?

Akshat: Yeah, middle aged.

Kamal: Ok.

Akhil: Same answer as Kamal.

Anything else you want the reader to know?

Kamal: This interview is very long. Don’t hesitate taking a piss break or having a snack in between, do some stretches, a couple of push ups, watch some tele and then come back.

A good music video to watch

Watch the video of Oppurtunity on youtube.

Where to find your work? Where can people buy you music

Ok Listen, Bandcamp, Spotify and Itunes.

Provide some bands from your country, that would be worthwhile listening.

Space Behind the Yellow Room, Lo! Peninsula, MC Kaur

Anyone you like to thank?

We want to thank ourselves for hanging in there.

Follow HOIRONG here:

Facebook

Twitter

Youtube

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 20/08/2022 (Nicki Minaj’s “Super Freaky Girl”)

“Afraid to Feel” by LF SYSTEM is at #1 for a seventh week – longer than I think anyone expected with no real sign of stopping – and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

That titlecard is by artist @TheJasbre202 by the way, I figured I should actually credit the guy ever so often. Now, as always, we start with the notable dropouts, which are songs exiting the UK Top 75 – need I remind you that’s what I cover? – after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. On a relatively normal week, we can say farewell to “TV” by Billie Eilish, “Hello Mate” by ArrDee and Kyla (that didn’t last long at all), “Sticky” by Drake, “Elephant & Gang” by D-Block Europe and Ghost Killer Track, “Potion” by Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa and Young Thug, “In the Stars” by Benson Boone and finally, “Bam Bam” by Camila Cabello featuring Ed Sheeran. I’m not complaining about ANY of this.

What interests me a lot more are our notable gains and returns, because of course, they’re Infinitely More InterestingTM. Our returns include “Brazil” by Declan McKenna at #68 and bizarrely, “Yellow” by Coldplay at #72, returning apparently thanks to their recent tour. It originally peaked at #4 in 2000. As for our gains, well, we have “KU LO SA – A COLORS SHOW” by Oxlade at #60, “Cold Heart” (PNAU Remix) by Elton John and Dua Lipa at #53, “Words” by Alesso featuring Zara Larsson at #43, “Rainfall (Praise You)” by Tom Santa at #42, “Sunroof” by Nicky Youre and dazy at #33 (joy), “Under the Influence” by Chris Brown at #32 (even more joy), “All for You” by Cian Ducrot at #29 thanks to a remix with Ella Henderson, “Hot in It” by Tiesto and Charli XCX at #24 thanks to a video that I watched for... research purposes, “Big City Life” by Luude and Mattafix at #16 and two gains shooting songs up into the top 10. At #10, we have “Stay with Me” by Calvin Harris, Justin Timberlake, Halsey and Pharrell Williams, giving Harris his one top 10 hit of this era, and at #9, we have “Ferrari” by James Hype and Miggy Dela Rosa. It’s Rosa’s first ever top 10, and the first for Mr. Hype since he debuted with 2017’s “More than Friends”. That hit #8 so I wonder if he can top that with “Ferrari”.

As for our top five, well, we have “Crazy What Love Can Do” by David Guetta, Becky Hill and Ella Henderson at #5, “Green Green Grass” by George Ezra at #4, “BREAK MY SOUL” by Beyoncé at #3, “B.O.T.A. (Baddest of Them All)” by Eliza Rose and Interplanetary Criminal at #2, which I hope to see challenging “Afraid to Feel”, which of course is at the top. You know what’s not at the top of the charts though?

Off the Charts

Dolls EP – Bella Poarch

Ever listen to something and think to yourself, “Why? Why the Hell did I listen to this?” This is mostly harmless but still a pretty gross EP of derivative pop tunes that really don’t last – they’re either in one ear and out the other or complete trainwrecks, with no in between. At least it’s short, and, well, Grimes is on it? My favourite track is “Build a Bitch”.

Life’s Gay – Ms Liz

There is a song in which Ms Liz pretends to be Disney’s Goofy being arrested for tax evasion on a trap beat. My favourite track is “1984”.

Traumazine – Megan Thee Stallion

The sum of this album’s parts is much lesser than the actual songs, because really, Megan delivers with a lot of confidence, memorable bars and at times more expressive delivery and content regarding not just flexing but some more vulnerable moments. The production is the best it’s been for Megan, with a lot more of the dirty South influence, and a lot of these tracks go really hard, yet it’s lacking in the finer details. The track listing is sequenced really wonkily and without a real logic or narrative, which detracts from the intended horror or traumatic themes of the record that end up going by the wayside. There are also some vocal takes and features that really don’t work, leading to some mediocre songs in the middle, which is a shame because this could have been great. My favourite track is “Not Nice”.

The Last Slimeto – YoungBoy Never Broke Again

As disparate as the two rappers sometimes seem, I actually have a pretty similar assessment of this new YoungBoy album. People have their different favourite “types” of YoungBoy tracks and personally, I’ve always liked him at his distressed, dirty South-influenced mania, when he viciously attacks mostly cluttered trap beats, and thanks to the album’s generally dark, menacing theme there’s a whole lot of that here, and really, the tracks that are more mellow, acoustic-based ponders are far from bad either. By the time you get through 30 tracks, however, it’s hard to distinguish the choruses from verses, and without as many memorable lines as his last mixtape, this one can kind of run dry and definitely runs too long. My favourite track is “Umm Hmm”.

Cheat Codes – Danger Mouse and Black Thought

As much as I’d like to congratulate Megan and YoungBoy on their decent albums... I mean, come on, they’re not stepping close to this wonderful collection of cold jazzy beats that strip Black Thought of his vocal warmth, leaving his poetry about a wide array of conscious topics, sometimes even conspiratorial, to really stick and stand out, especially amongst all the old-head fanservice that really is present on this album. Sure, it’s dusty, and not every feature is perfectly on topic, but with a concise runtime, a really cohesive sound that concentrates its entire soul in the beautiful soul samples and strings loops, it’s well worth checking out. I love nearly every track here, but “The Darkest Part” with Raekwon and Kid Sister of all people is my favourite track. The pianos hit every time. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming...

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “When it Rains, it Pours” – Bad Boy Chiller Crew

Produced by Mark Ralph and TacticS

We have a decently-sized batch of new arrivals this week but they’re mostly really concentrated in the deepest crevices of the top 75 due to a lack of new releases, meaning that I’m not really expecting much quality. Some of those tempered expectations may stem from the fact that we start with the Goddamn Bad Boy Chiller Crew. For a little inside look on my process, I saw that a Bad Boy Chiller Crew song debuted, went to the bathroom and swiftly returned but decided to listen to Weezer instead... then when I finally did listen to this song, I don’t know, man, I kind of like it. The UK garage groove is particularly bassy and slick in this one, with a pretty great rickety guitar loop in the chorus and a generally warm atmosphere that I prefer than the colder, atmospheric tones of say, “BMW”, and whilst I still don’t like these guys’ vocal inflections, the Bad Boys – and assumingly the Chiller Crew – aren’t as unlikeable as usual lyrically, wherein they talk about a relationship that just falls apart, seemingly in a more mutual sense than usual. It’s not awful, for once, and whilst it’s far from anything special, I don’t really mind this becoming a hit. It’s alright, and the production is honestly pretty great, just bogged down by the fact that it’s a Bad Boy Chiller Crew song.

#74 – “Atlantis” – Seafret

Produced by Steve Robson

This is Seafret, an indie pop duo from Yorkshire who, like most landfill indie bands, had a decently successful and critically acclaimed debut album. Since then, they have largely drifted away from being on anyone’s radar but, seemingly out of nowhere, their debut single which never charted before, shores up at #74 thanks to what I can only assume is TikTok virality. I can tell that it’s TikTok because Seafret have released two separate nightcore versions. The 2015 original is a pretty decent song in all honesty, even if I’m not a fan of vocalist Jack Sedman’s falsetto or shaky, faux-raspy tone in general. The acoustic guitars from Harry Draper are pretty folksy and basic, especially when placed against the really stock-sounding drums, but by the time the chorus hits, it all feels like a well-blended ocean of instruments. It’s not as driving as it could be, but considering that the song is using the metaphor of Atlantis to refer to an unstable relationship, I think the slower tone is kind of the point; I almost wish it was more despondent. With that said, as it is, it’s a pretty nothing song, but an effective enough ballad with a killer chorus. So how is it sped up? Well, I think the instability of Atlantis and the relationship withering away sounds a lot more urgent in this TikTok-viral tempo-shifted version, but it doesn’t really change the song for me. The even more viral “extra sped up version” is basically a 2010s YouTube nightcore remix (I wouldn’t be surprised if this existed prior anyway), and I have to be honest, I love how the drums sound in this one, and the chorus hits just that little bit harder. There’s also a slowed down version which can bite me. I never want to hear a ballad at an even slower tempo unless it’s vaporwave. I don’t know which version is exactly “charting” right now, but it’s decent at any tempo. I’ll take it.

#73 – “Deep Down” – Alok, Ella Eyre and Kenny Dope featuring Never Dull

Produced by OHYES, Neave Applebaum and Alok

Sometimes I see a song debut and feel like I have to explain every single person on it. This song is primarily by Brazilian DJ Alok, who you may know for “Hear Me Now” back in 2016. He pioneered “Brazilian bass”, which has since become the malformed slap house sound we’re all very familiar with: think Imanbek or HVME. He’s probably the most successful Brazilian DJ ever in recent years, yet this is his first time charting in the UK. Ella Eyre should be more familiar, as she finds most of her success bringing her raspier tone to EDM hits, being kind of ever-present in the mid-2010s era of tropical house and drum and bass. She even featured on the #1 hit “Waiting All Night” by Rudimental but has been notably quiet in comparison when it comes to chart hits as of recent. Never Dull is also an EDM producer and as is Kenny Dope, however he was much more active amidst the earlier times of house music in the 1990s, and under the alias “The Bucketheads”, released the classic house track “The Bomb! (These Sounds Fall into My Mind)” which, thanks to its undeniable disco groove, manic sound design and warm horns, quickly became a club favourite and hit #5 in the UK on release in 1995. Since it’s 2022, you can see where this is going, right? Kenny Dope gets his credit here for the sample of his classic, basically instrumental track on “Deep Down”. He was decently successful in the 1990s, but it’s his first time charting since 1996... and really, there’s not much you can do wrong with sampling this track, especially not if you’re going to flip it in the really damn clever way Alok and Never Dull do here. The slick groove finds itself oscillating on this bassy slap-house banger, where Eyre is surrounded by vocal manipulation effects and your typical 90s piano melodies, but really, the main appeal is the chorus, where the fragmented vocal loop of the original chorus is turned into, well, actual lyrics and whilst the content is nothing interesting and if anything, kind of confused in its narrative framing, it’s a really cool flip that I didn’t expect and with the rejuvenated-sounding brass making this feel really upbeat and jazzy, it ends up going the funky house route rather than the boring, anti-climactic slap house tracks that come before it. The outro wherein Ella Eyre trades off with the original vocal sample, punctuated by the fact that the original title was itself a reinterpreted mondegreen of the original Chicago lyric – “street sounds swirling through my mind” – makes this just a tapestry of dance music showing its heritage and doing what sampling really should do in this context. This is awesome, and whilst I fear it won’t considering the ungodly amount of credits and the general lull of the charts, I hope it sticks around.

#71 – “Come Back Home” – Sofia Carson

Produced by Eren Cannata and Dan Crean

Okay, so I’ll bite. Who’s Sofia Carson? From some quick research, it turns out that she’s a Disney Channel star because of course she is, with this song acting as a lead single - or, really, theme song – to the Netflix movie Purple Hearts. Sometimes I wish I did these on Saturday or Sunday so I could watch this for extra research but let’s be real, I wouldn’t enjoy watching that anyway. It’s about an aspiring singer-songwriter played by Sofia Carson who falls in love with a Marine despite the obstacles and wake me up when someone comes up with an original plot. Oh, and this song sucks: Carson has a shaky, Camila Cabello-sounding voice that has this fake rasp and really throaty delivery feeling really unfitting for a song that’s trying to be somewhat anthemic, with its steady, programmed drum beat and acoustic guitar line that sounds really monotonous until it picks up some fake swell in the chorus. That swell sounds really egregious considering the mix has Carson right in the front of the mix, and there really is nothing to her voice. I get that an aspiring singer-songwriter wouldn’t sound perfect on her first song, but Phoebe Buffay sounded better than this. I just can’t stand this, couldn’t care less about the content given that I have not seen the film, and I hope this doesn’t stick around because I cannot see what appeal it has outside of being a soundtrack.

#66 – “Victoria’s Secret” – Jax

Produced by Jesse Siebenberg and Marx Nilan

Okay, once again, I’ll bite: who the hell is Jax? And where did Jones go? Awful impact-font meme cover art aside, this seems to be another attempt to push a cynical alt-pop teen to the masses, this time with a song about how Victoria’s Secret is a sketchy business. It started as a way for men to buy gifts and clothing for women but not feeling embarrassed when they go to buy them lingerie, and then was later rebranded by billionaire Leslie Wexner to appeal to women. That’s how the story goes, at least, and Jax and her co-writers seem to have just discovered this fact on Wikipedia and wrote a whole song about it as if this is some massive revelation. She “knows Victoria’s secret”, but, really, that secret isn’t just the business’ origins, rather the fact that it promotes an unhealthy body image, and well, that may be true, but it’s not a secret. That’s what’s out in the open: people purchasing Victoria’s Secret or watching the fashion shows probably already know the models are Photoshopped but thanks to patriarchal expectations or their own body dysmorphia, will probably still make the purchase. It’s not unique to Victoria’s Secret either: any clothing line, brand, fashion retail store or magazines have the rather open non-secret that they promote unhealthily skinny and “attractive” body images and by extension force an unwarranted representation of a female lifestyle onto young women, and the work to improve on that has been considerably slow. This is digging the surface of the skivvy fashion business, and that’s not always an awful thing: she’s getting the message out there, it’ll probably help a lot of especially teenage girls, though it’s not like Jax is really not part of the problem in being a pop star who feeds into the same image... but, hey, it’ll help someone.  I mean, the plucky guitars and obnoxious vocal delivery alongside the absolutely disgusting mesh of “rock” guitars will appeal to someone – who’s not me. With that said, you know what’s also on Wikipedia, Jax? The racism, the transphobia, the sexual harassment complaints being largely silenced. The cultural appropriation of several cultures to sell the same unhealthy feminine body standards, the sleazy connections of Leslie Wexner. Maybe being buddy-buddy with Jeffrey Goddamn Epstein is more important than “big boobs”? Just maybe! Again, I hope it helps someone, but that someone is not me and really, it’s just promoting the product. Call it the Streisand effect if you wish, but I call it a major label feeding into the machine to keep all of our Hollywood pedophiles and rapists safe and sound. Screw this song.

#54 – “Mary on a Cross” – Ghost

Produced by Gene Walker and Tobias Forge

So, this is Ghost. They’re a Swedish hard rock band with a ghoulish, eccentric live show appearance and seemingly a whole bunch of lore deconstructed by their fanbase given that the lead singer has a fictional character as a stage name, but what I hear most about them is that they kick ass. I’m not all that familiar with Ghost as a band, but I do hear buzz surrounding their quality, and whilst this isn’t as heavy as some of their work can be, “Mary on a Cross”, from their 2019 EP Seven Inches of Satanic Panic, does go hard. It went viral on TikTok and has a really driving 1980s hair metal energy that probably propelled it to the chart, given Tobias Forge – oh, sorry, Papa Emeritus IV – and his somewhat nasal belting delivery over a slice of AOR that has as much reverb as it has soaring guitars. The cute vocal harmonies prior to the chorus give this a twinkling jangle-pop energy that I like to hear being mixed with the heavier tones of 1980s rock. If anything, it’s kind of derivative but it’s pulling his influences from all ends so it’s not like the end product isn’t unique. My one big complaint is it feels slightly unchanging and never really lets loose in its runtime, especially since so much of the song is a chorus or refrain. Sure, we have the bridge, but it’s repeating lines from the chorus and doesn’t really feel like a drastic enough shift in stakes to scale this psychedelic imagery to any higher stakes... which, thinking about all the overt marijuana references, may just be the point. It’s a relaxing rock song that I’m overall glad to hear on the charts, and I damn sure hope it sticks around.

#15 – “Super Freaky Girl” – Nicki Minaj

Produced by Dr. Luke, Malibu Babie, Vaughn Oliver and Aaron Joseph

Okay... how the Hell do they play this on the radio? You must have to cut half of the song out. I’d have preferred if you, you know, cut the rapist out of the production credits but alas, we have the newest single from Nicki Minaj and I’ll be straight to the point: this is awesome. The sample is gratuitous and makes me sad that Rick James’ original “Super Freak” never charted in the UK, and sure, it may take a few too many cues from “U Can’t Touch This” (which hit #3), but man, this is under three minutes of a fun track that’s trashy enough to not be embarrassing and self-serious, but sexy enough to keep some restrain on the borderline gross humour. Even putting Nicki’s moaning ad-libs and hilariously staccato delivery aside, we have that Miami bass rhythm punctuating the iconic sample, and the vocoder-affected Rick James vocal loop in the chorus that does feel like the sample has genuinely been cut up and chopped to some extent and not just replayed like “Big Energy”. As for Nicki, well, she says she’s wetter than umbrellas and stickier than apple pie, spending most of the song, if not all, in full sexing and flexing mode and well, it works a lot for Nicki. I’m almost surprised she doesn’t do more of this, because the flow switches are really sick, the pop culture references range from a slight chuckle to absolutely freaking tasteless (partially thanks to LunchMoney Lewis of all people), and if I’m ever convinced someone is going to be frighteningly kinky in bed, it is Nicki Minaj. I thought it ended pretty abruptly and I guess Nicki’s crew expected that since they released an extended version called the “Roman remix” that adds a great third verse, wherein she calls herself “Nick James”, and well, at nearly four minutes, it might be a bit too long. It’s egregious, it’s silly, but it’s a lot of fun. When’s that album coming, Nicki? Because I might just be excited to hear it now.

Conclusion

I feel like this was a pretty decent week, because there’s a lot of good stuff here, even if it is tempered by some terrible stuff. Best of the Week is going to Alok, Ella Eyre, Kenny Dope and Never Dull for “Deep Down”, with “Mary on a Cross” by Ghost just beating out “Super Freaky Girl” for the Honourable Mention. As for the worst, it should be obvious: “Victoria’s Secret” by Jax gets Worst of the Week, mostly because the song cannot and does not exist without exhausting discourse, with “Come Back Home” by Sofia Carson as the Dishonourable Mention mostly because it sounds like ass. As for next week, we’ll see, though I think it might be another one of these middling weeks. For now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Olivia Newton-John and Darius Campbell-Danesh, and I’ll see you next week!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm sorry but The Sign just WINS

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2023 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 5 of 10 - Fun fun fun. I feel sorry for Yai dealing with these two doomed lovers fated mate drama queens. He got a queen of his own to look after, cut the poor boy some slack.

Meanwhile, if evil... why so shirtless?

Hold on peeps, gotta rip my shirt off in a v stripper way, might get blood on it. Not that I’m complaining. Also, a strap? Man after my own heart. 

Awe. Baby boy has magic sparkle punch!! Yay! 

Meanwhile Phaya is my current fav himbo. These two are beyond pretty together. I love the stark contrast in their fantasies about each other. Phaya's is a way more romantic. Normally I don’t like a white towel sponge bath, but that was the most effective one ever deployed by any BL plot since Love Sick. Well done writer's room. This show is FANTASTIC.

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 7 of 12 - I say this every week but I truly love this show. Another pair of great communicators, I love that BL is giving us this right now (rather than the usual run of plot driven by willful miscommunication). I’m sad D was mean to M but I see where they’re coming from (for the purpose of story & plot). And the boys did a great job. Jimmy’s so lovely in this role.

But seriously people: Where did those old shoes come from in the middle of a marathon?

Random park shoes! 

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - One of the most endearing things about these two is what good communicators they are. The sides are kinda cute: puppy+cat hyung romance. Love that for them (and me).

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 8 of 10 - Sprite & First are so crush confession confused first-time tentative adorable. First got himself such a sweet troubled little puppy. What’s gonna happen when he finds out the big lie? 

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 6 of 14 - Jeff and Alan are best boys, i see a glimmer of hope for Way. Omegaverse mpreg possibility confirmed. Trash watch happening here.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 4 of 12 - I finally figured out that it’s the alternating voiceovers that bother me with this show. It gives it a Japanese manga feel, but I’m not wild about that in my Thai BL. Doc being jelly was fun, tho. Tiny confessions and secret smiles do make me happy. It’s sweet. I’m liking it better this week. 

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 5 of 6 - The conflict seems very manufactured. Okay, yes that's normal in BL, but you know what I mean... more than normal. Honestly? I’m on Guy’s side. Screw Shin, and not in a good way. 

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 7 of 8 - I really don’t like it that Jade has to be cruel to Mai. And Mai cruel back. ButJade is sweet when he’s a calm and smiley and shy. Boyfriend ep next week  

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Pisces of Me ep 18 of 24 - I just found this one extremely boring, I didn’t really enjoy any of the characters. And I think it might be incest? Ugh. 4/10

Night Dream (Sat YT) ep 2 of 6 - It’s a pain to track down and I really didn’t like the first episode so… DNF  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - It’s slow and sweet and fine but not great. Lovely little kitchen back hug. Not sure about the boy from the past. The mom character gave me serious PTSD. 

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 4 of 8 - No ep this week for JBL reasons. 

It's Airing But...

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. I DNFed this at ep 5, and frnakly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Been told I shouldn't bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'll be doing that when I have a spare day. Crazy work load right now so no idea when that will be. (End of year is a bear for me.)

Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) - This is a historical I was interested in, but I've been told they kill the gay so I'm OUT.

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) - horror, meh, tell me if it's worth my time?

IT'S NO LONGER AIRING INTERNATIONAL

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like.

Next Week Looks Like This

I Became the Main Pole of a BL (Japan Gaga) ep 1 of 3 - AKA BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen starts tomorrow.

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I think this EVERY SINGLE TIME someone blows on a wound in an Asian drama.

Only Billy has the guts to give us an O face from a cuddle. (The Sign)

I do love it when a show calls out a trope. (Cooking Crush)

 A/b/o and sometimes e! The scene that broke tumblr. (Pit Babe)

(Last week)

[skyhopedango]

so yeah I stayed up and watched the last episode and it’s half past 4 am

Well damn, this was bittersweet as fuck. My heart. My heart.

This is not exactly where I would have preferred some plotlines to go, and clearly the writing had a few issues. But overall I’m absolutely fine with everything. I’m not the type who needs a story to go exactly where I envision it to go to be satisfied with it, and as far as I’m concerned the positives in this show by far, far outweigh the negatives.

My thoughts in sort of chronological order...

1. let’s get this out of the way - HOLY SHIT THIS EPISODE LOOKS GORGEOUS. I thought episode 23 looked great, but this one just blew everything out of the water. Holy shit, it’s beautiful. And not just the animation: the direction, the art and storyboarding, the pacing (something that was a little off in the previous ep), the music production, everything is great. What a great team this show has had.

2. Kaisar, dammit. ;___; ) I understand and am not hating the show, but... dammit. ;___; )

 However. HOWEVER.

2.a) “Death is so peaceful” and this is where I force myself to ignore the subs (I was watching it with a friend who needs them) because what the fuck??? He’s so very clearly saying 真の安寧を/“shin no annei wo” ie. “bring true peace”! That’s why he’s addressing Charioce, and why Charioce nods as if saying “OK, understood.” 

And this is important goddammit! It comes back in the end! (see: point 12.) 

(Then again this is probably the same translator who didn’t get the “dakareru” pun, so...)

3. Dammit, Favaro is so cool.

4. Aaaand that’s Nina’s choice. Dammit, that was cool. I guess this won’t help with the people who already hate her, but this was kakkoii as fuck, she’s awesome and I just love her so much. (Besides, what on earth could she have done? Kill Charioce or leave him die, and lose Dromos either way? Take on Bahamut by herself? Hope that the angels and demons can handle Bahamut the God-Slayer?) 

5. It sure is lucky that we have all these high-ranking demons and angels in one place just as Bahamut is out and about once more. I’m not entirely sure if I follow the plot intention here? I’ll probably have to rewatch some episodes to make sure but it’s as if we’re having a plot hole/mix-up here. Whatever - don’t think, feel!

6. Dragon vs dragon, FUCK YEEEEAH

7. Amira... Amira? AMIRA!!! 

7.a) This is an unexpected, yet not unwelcome turn of events, heh. Ahem. 

7.b) I... I kind of hoped Amira would come back, now that Favaro has lost Kaisar anyway... At the very least she and Nina could have been great friends. 

8. Holy fuck, Bahamut. :O 

8.a) Green power gone! Gabriel can finally rest assured.

9. OK but seriously, who even wants to live in Anatae after all this? The place gets destroyed on a regular basis - demons, angels, humans, dragons... Clearly it’s cursed or something, I’d get the hell out of there as soon as possible.

10. 多分ってwwww

11. Nina... lost her voice, hasn’t she. I guess it could have been worse.

12. And Charioce lost his sight. This scene here, where he feels out the chair with his hand - one of those small character animations that Charioce has a lot of, and they add so much to the character and just the “feel” of the show in general.

12.a) At first I was a bit surprised that he’s still king, although he’s alive and got a huge PR boost, so I guess... that’s just how things roll, dynastically speaking. Moral of the story: people are fickle. 

12.b) And in any case, if he lives this is what I wanted from him. I really like that he doesn’t get to fuck off and live far away from everything. (Not that it would be in character for him, anyway.) He has a heavy responsibility to bear - fixing what he so thoroughly broke. Now that he’s gained some insight and his heart is hopefully in the right place, he must set things right and fulfill his promise to Kaisar. 

I really wish the translation hadn’t fucked up Kaisar’s last line... :/

12.c) Kaisar... ;_____; )

13. This is fairly tragic. He can’t see the one he loves; she can’t speak to him. This is also the price he paid, I guess. 

13.a) And so this is why they had dancing as their “thing”! Damn. DAMN. *fetches tissues*

13.b) *sniffle*

14. Aww, nothing brings races together like hating a common enemy and then having a near-death experience with an even worse enemy and then deciding that hey, Helheim is cold as hell, Anatae’s climate is better. 

14.a) Overall I really wish there had been at least one more episode to deal with the whole demons-gods-humans thing, because that was an important aspect of the story that was kind of dropped a while ago. A number of times it felt like they were going somewhere - with Gabriel’s psychosis and creepiness, the angels being hypocrites, Lucifer being Lucifer, etc. but in the end they never went there. It’s a pity. If we sit down and think it over we can see how this plot probably goes, but without the canon actually touching on it, it still feels incomplete. Oh well, I’ll always have my idea of how the plot probably goes..

14.b) I guess in the end we have at least the demons and humans starting to learn to live alongside each other. 

14.c) I really wanted to see Gabriel and Lucifer negotiating with Charioce.

15. MUGARO ;____; ) The gravestone has “El Mugaro D’Arc”. ;_____; )

16. OH MY GOD, JEANNE AND AZAZEL. YOU TWO ARE AWESOME. You should just live together as platonic life mates. (And have one really awkward night that you don’t speak about ever again.)

17. Poor Azazel and his broken heart. ;____; ) But I like him being tragic, it suits him after being a ridiculous, hilarious pile of failure for two seasons. Still... he couldn’t save the one that he wanted to save the most. BAAAWWWWWW. ;_____; ) And poor Jeanne. She’s coping, but why does the universe hate her so much.

18. Yay for Bacchus/Sofiel! I low-key shipped them so I’m happy that they didn’t ignore them. 

19. Favaro is just so damn cool and I love his relationship with Nina so much.

20. Amira’s theme! ;_____; )

21. ニーナか ;______; )

22. I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING

23. (still wiping tears away, cleaning glasses)

24. BUT OF COURSE.

I’m not sure if this is what Kaisar would have wanted given the choice, but then I guess this is the same thing he did to Rita so she’s just returning the favor. I do wish he had looked better though, but I guess as a zombie it could be worse. 

I find it really, really hard to not grin like a fucking idiot.

That’s it! The rest is for tomorrow. 

In short: I love this show. Perfect? No. (What is?) Right after my own heart? Incredibly so! Loving the entire cast and wishing to see all of them again? YES! YES!  

It’s going to be very lonely without Bahamut.

[misfit-among-the-angels]

Do ALL the questions!!!! 😇

1. describe yourself.I hate to doing this because every time I have job interview they ask me pretty much the same :/ So yea, I’m not gonna do that sorry :c

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?Bavarian Alpes 

3. do you have siblings?Yep, 7 years older sister

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?I don’t think I have one

5. favorite color.Black, red, green, purple

6. what kind of music do you listen to?Metal, classic rock, industrial, neo-folk, 80s pop, darkwave 

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)Tulip, forget-me-not

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?Hmmm, first spell, probably the spell that would help me to learn all languages that I wanna learn

9. favorite childhood memory.Countless trips all around my hometown with my grandma

10. have you ever been cheated on?Yep

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?Lots of posters on the walls, guitar in a corner, comfy bed, lots of CDs on the table. Idk, this sucks sorry

12. favorite animal.Wolves, big cats, horses

13. what was the last photo you took of?

14. do you believe in soul mates?Yep

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?Over

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.Express pizza. Always ordering the spiciest pizza they have

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?Kinda. Some things indeed happen for reason

18. guilty pressures?Idk if I even have them

19. favorite mythical creature, why?Dragons, because they are so damn awesome and powerful

20. something most people don’t know about you.People on tumblr probably know everything about me at this point lol. Idk, I guess some people don’t really know that 8 years ago I became a metalhead, but I discovered my first metal band 11 years ago

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?I grew up in the second biggest city in Lithuania - Kaunas. Idk, I barely remember things from my childhood 

22. do you believe aliens exist?Ayye

23. what was your last google search? “phantom of the opera“

24. what did your last relationship teach you?Perfect relationships exist. Also long distance relationships suck ass

25. would you relocate for love?It would depend, but I guess yea 

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?It depends what that person has done to me

27. favorite book.LoTR trilogy and tbh every J.R.R. book, It by S. King, The name of the Rose byU. Eco and many more

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?Extrovert with some introvert traits

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?I have kept it when I was a teen, now I only have travel journal

30. top 5 favorite movies.LoTR/The Hobbit trilogyAtomic BlondeKill BillAs above so belowInterstellar

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?same question and same answer

32. what is your greatest fear?Spiders

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.Wine, beer, mead, whiskey 

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.Wrote all those really creepy thirst tweets about Rammstein back when i had obsession over them

35. do you believe in ghosts?Yep

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?Best - I’m out-going and I’m always ready to helpWorst - I can be really stubborn 

37. should you split the dinner bill?Idk, should you?

38. are you a good liar?I guess yea

39. what keeps you up at night?My mind and my love for night

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?Phone

41. do you believe in god?I believe in gods

42. how do you relax when frustrated?Well, it depends on how I’m frustrated, but I usually listen to music or watch some vids on youtube

43. what’s something that offends you?Sexism  

44. favorite foodPasta!

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?I wanted to write a very specific person, but let’s leave that person for another time. I think it would be Tuomas Holopainen from Nightwish

46. when do you feel the most confident?When I’m with my favorite outfit, or when my makeup is cool, or when my mind let’s me feel confident, or when I’m wearing something sexy

47. what do you do on your free time?Listen to music, watching films/tv series, tumblr, sleeping, fangirling, going to concerts/fllm festivals, traveling, photography, being with friends, being in nauture

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respectYep

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?Yep, unfortunately 

50. did/do you play sports in school?I used to play sports in elementary school

51. when are you happiest?When I’m traveling or in a concert, or being with friends, or doing something creative, or being in nature

52. coffee or tea?Tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?My camera (and my copy of Moonglow artbook)

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?Their eyes, sometimes their hands

55. what is your favorite season, why?Autumn and winter. It’s just perfect weather and it makes me feel alive

56. what makes you laugh?Idk how to even answer this lol Good jokes, stupid/adorable things

57. are you a clean or messy person?Messy

58. what is important for a successful relationship?Trust, loyalty, being open and honest

59. what was your upcoming like?I don’t really understand the question tbh

60. favorite holiday?Christmas probably 

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?Buy all the stuff I need 

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?Anything, as long as it is spicy 

63. favorite outdoor activity.Going around the city or being in nature

64. how are you? honestly.I dunno, kinda good but kinda bad

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?Camping in the woods of course

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?EVERYTHING! 

67. favorite type of candy?Chocolate lol

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?“I need to read what the shit is this” - or smth stupid I said once lol

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?I barely use them tbh, tho I do use “precious” a lot

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?Being emo

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?I honestly can’t remember 

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?Metal evolution 

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?I suck at describing things but nooo, i’m not gonna post a picture even tho I think I have few, but let’s say it was pretty bad

74. what do you like to cook?Pasta or basically anything that I can or want at that moment

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?Moose

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?The Simpsons I guess

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?Heart

78. what is your favorite quote? “Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.” - Good omens

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?Idk, I don’t think I had any really weird crushes

80. what’s your love language?I actually went and did a test about this and so my love language is physical touch. I actually agree on this

81. do you ever feel alone?Almost always

82. ever been bullied?Yep

83. are you usually early or late?Sometimes bit early sometimes late

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?Books, films, music, photography

85. what do you wish you knew more about?I wish I’d know more about filmmaking, photography

Thank you!!!! And sorry that my answers suck ass..

[survivor-rotuma]

Ep. 4: “Wow my team is shit!!!” - Lysandre

Joey G

So I’ve had a really busy few days, but luckily my connection with Felix not only scored me a spot on my OG tribe’s majority alliance, but I also ended up with him on the swap tribe and leveraged his connections to join a new majority alliance with Lysandre and Raul. Now that work seems to be slowing down a bit, I have to kick it into high gear to secure my position on the tribe as well as make bonds that can help me come merge time.

Charlie

I feel very confident about my vote this tribal, pretty sure I won't be blindsided either

Apollo

You wanted some tea sis? Well here you go! The bruschetta alliance is probably really weak as in power sense but I think we’re strong as in our connections with each other. A tribe swapped occurred and thank god I bonded with Felix and the rest of the bruschetta alliance did as well. We all ended up on his tribe and I’m grateful to be on the safe tribe this round. The tea is? I really like Felix but I kind of want to vote him out at the first chance possible. He’s really good at challenges (and yes I’m completely basing this off of a puzzle score) and his charisma is far too high and he’s really likeable. He’s a fucking threat. And yes I do Iike him a lot but I want to be the prom king not the runner up.

Lysandre

Hi this iis Lysandre the Lion and the lier coming at you live from the WHAT THE FUCK IM ON MEA NOW.

Lysandre

Ok so there was no swap and we are back on our OG tribes until MERGE and that makes me feel so bad because It makes my chances of using the idol go up by a bunch! and PLUS THE NEW CHALLENGE IS A SCAVENGER HUNT, aka my least favorite challenge ever.

Felix

"Alright so big things have happened since my last confessional. First off, I can't believe Jay pulled that Twistos twist on us! I was so ready to move on with my alliance with Raul, Lysandre, and Joey. Plus, I was also ready to create an alliance with Apollo with whomever he deemed worthy. Oh, well. At least that means I do not have to betray anyone yet. Plus, it means that I get back with Tuai Quad LLC which means Cassie cannot use her advantage on me. Overall, this twist didn't hurt me, but I would've liked more time to establish bonds. Oh well. At least this means I have like 3 alliances at merge if all of those people make it to the merge.

Joey says that we should keep the Golden Alliance between us. I guess that's fine. I mean if it ever comes to light then I do have an excuse ready. Though I don't know how well it would work. Plus, it makes him think we have this hared secret together and that we are this Final 2 duo. It'll be good to keep up a good reputation with him.

Cassie says she wants to target Marie at merge. That could be a risky and game-changing move on her part if it succeeds. She sees Marie as the head of the Mea tribe, so it'd be good to get rid of her. To be honest, it wouldn't be such a bad thing for Cassie to target Marie. After all, it would put the target on her back and not mine if the move goes through or not. Depending on my decision to side with either Tuai or Mea, it could put me in the best position in the game. I'd definitely be playing the middle in that case. Though I should not forget that Sumi also exists. They are probably the underdogs of this season, but I can't let hem go unnoticed. As long as I can keep playing the middle, I'll be golden. Hopefully, we can vote out someone irrelevant on the first tribal at merge to keep the two sides butting heads.

I don't know how well I will do in this challenge though. The Scavenger Hunt is always hit or miss for me. However, even if we do go to tribal, it'll definitely be Charlie who will get voted out. I think of Charlie as wildcard in this scenario. I cannot have him get to merge because I basically don't talk to him. He could easily flip on me and Tuai. Let's see how this goes."

Zest

woah jay! you really got me thinking I made the merge. Anyways, hyped for this scavenger hunt.

Brianna

Kind of. Really wish. We didn’t have to go back to our original tribes. Ugh. It’s a scavenger hunt competition and we had to sit one person out. No one was saying anything so I got randomly picked to sit out. I mean. I was fine with it. But we are less than 24 hours away from the challenge being finished and we have zero points. I can’t count on anyone on sumi. And if I end up getting voted out because of this I will throw a fit.

Marie

Wow, my closest ally left the game. I hope everything is ok! And I’m hoping lys Raul and I can stick together

Apollo

"Nobody: ...

Jay: it wasn’t a real swap! Go back to your old tribes until merge!

Me: https://68.media.tumblr.com/6f9f874d5d67596a06b123e372d682ee/tumblr_inline_og1vygJXEY1usj39c_500.gif"

Apollo

Anyways in all seriousness, I’m pretty shook that we’re staying in these tribes until merge if the merge is at f11. If it’s at f13 then no big deal. Borris and I have majority with Zest and Bradley and Brianna think they’re sitting pretty until we lose anyways and Zest knows about the foursome made without him so ideally I’m in a good spot with Borris. I would like to keep us all as long as possible but I’m very much not going to be upset if we lose Brianna and Bradley. Fuck it might even be good to be perceived as the weaker tribe going into merge. If we’re the “strongest” tribe then people are going to want to pick us off at the start and I’m not here for that.......Maybe....maybe we need to lose a challenge or two

Flint

This weeks immunity challenge is a blast but also a little more difficult then I had expected. Felix Cassie and I are doing our best and I hope it keeps Tuai out of trouble for one more round!

Flint

There has been a little whispering of idol talk and it’s kinda got me nervous. A few tribe mates have said they gone out hunting but also mentioned they believe someone already found it. I suspect that it’s Joey because he’s been a bit quiet so maybe he feels comfortable sitting back a bit with an idol in his pocket.

Felix

Kathleen quitting is kind of a shame. That means I can't work with her in the future, and I was already laying down the groundwork for it. Oh, well. At least now the pact I made with her and Raul can't be spread around or broken. I hope we don't go to tribal. I really don't have the mental energy for it. Plus, I didn't do that well in the challenge so maybe they'll just send me home. Who knows? All I know is that Charlie is getting my vote if we go to tribal.

Felix

I'm kind of sad that Mea is going to tribal again. They are the ones that I bonded with the most during the One World, and it is a shame to see such active people go home one by one. I hope it's Raul who goes because he's the least talkative out of Marie and Lysandre. Plus, I've talked to the other two extensively and have built strong bonds with them. We'll see what happens, but this is such a shame. Plus, if Marie stays then Cassie will still be able to target her still.

Zest

"what a fun scavenger hunt challenge. I am so grateful for my tribe. I also am really enjoying having an alliance. I hope to find something on an idol hunt soon. This competition is really starting to AMP UP!"

Lysandre

Wow my team is shit!!! Also I'm going to miss Steph- I mean Kathleen! So the challenge went terribly. Marie submitted like 6 items and Raul really carried the team with his 0 items what a legend. We are going to tribal as a tribe of 3 which is... new and I'm literally so pressd.

Cassie

I guess you could say I went a bit all out for this particular challenge. It was super fun to go around looking for stuff. Our tribe is doing really well still and we're anticipating a merge soon. We still have the numbers and I hope we can stick around to the final 5. Go Tuai!

Lysandre

I'm thinking of something iconic to say as an episode title but the flopness of my tribe keeps alerting Jay of Tribal Council.

Flint

Tuai lives to see another day! Watching Mea dwindle to 2 players after tonight is crazy to think about. I feel lucky to be apart of such a strong tribe and hope we stay aligned once we hit the merge, but I have a gut feeling someone from Tuai will flip and join the other players

Brianna

"Heheh it’s okay we won"

Marie

Wow, I think we’re the worst tribe in online survivor history

Felix

I can't believe that Apollo had a "Leaders Alliance" with Cassie and Marie. How shookening is that? He runs his mouth about starting an alliance with me, but already has one with people he considers the "leaders" of his tribe? Nah nah nah. He's way smarter than he lets on. He may think I'm a pawn and a good personality, but I am going to go after him at merge. Marie doesn't matter since she has no numbers and no tribe to fall back on. Apollo has been slowly building alliances with probably Zest, Boris, and/or Brianna. They're probably really tight at this point, so we need to be very careful of how we tread with Apollo. He needs to go. I think how it should go at merge would be (Random Non-Tuai Person) -> Marie (for Cassie's good side) -> Apollo (a big threat and we'd have the numbers if Tuai would work together) -> Cassie (cause she'd be a threat too). Tbh, I want everyone in that Leaders Alliance gone because if they think they're the top dogs then they got to go. They'd be too much of a threat as the numbers close down. And I want their blood all over my hands.

Felix

"I cannot just passively play this game lol. I'm currently trying to plant seeds in Flint's and Cassie's heads about Sumi's potential threat. They scare me the most going into merge because they are a big unknown factor. They have just as many  people on their tribe as us, and we barely know anything about them or their play style. Cassie seems on board to keeping Marie around for a little bit, but we need to start taking care of Sumi's numbers. If Boris is right, then they all shouldn't be too inactive so it'll be easy to convince people to take out inactive people. I just hope we can convince Marie and Lysandre to take out Sumi as well.

One good thing to take away from all this is that I am not seen as a leader, just very active. It paints a target on Cassie's back and not my own. They'll be going after her first. I'll just have to play along with this narrative until I stab her in the back. "

Charlie

I feel like ill be up for elimination this week because I sat out of the challenge. Its making me really nervous tbh

Marie

3 person tribes are very hard to navigate. You feel on top but on the bottom at the same time! It’s really weird because raul thinks it’s lys, but lys and I voted for raul. But I don’t know if lys actually voted for raul???? What if they voted for me?

Joey

we went back to our original tribes, so i’m now reunited with the majority alliance. i didn’t have to do the challenge, i don’t have to go to tribal, and we still have charlie as someone on the outs if we ever lose a challenge. my path to merge is set!

Marie

This is the most silent I’ve seen our tribe and it’s scary

Apollo

Ummmm Fuck Mea’s drag? I guess

Marie

Wow this game makes me feel like a horrible person. I thought I’d get through this with no regrets but having to comfort the person you voted for and telling them they aren’t going home sucks

Raul

I'm probably going home unless I pull off the impossible like this is gonna be a mess I really hope, I don't leave cause that would be a shame , I really really hope I convinced Marie to vote out lys and lys doesn't want Marie here it could be a 1-1-1 vote wouldn't that be cute