#also lol have y'all noticed i post these at night... is it perhaps because i don't want anyone to see them... hmm...

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Meet the Polycule!

Isa:

He's the seventh son of a seventh son of a seventh son. (Third generation seventh.)

As such, he's expected to be a very powerful wolf.

His first name is actually Isaiah but he doesn't like it. Because it's his dad's name and his grandfather's name. :/

Met Aaron when they were both eight (Isa was about to turn 9) and knew immediately they were meant to be together forever.

He didn't keep it a secret either. He wasn't shy. He and Aaron were attached at the hip growing up!

When Micah brings home his friend Ashley, Isa is hit with the 'holy shit, that's my mate' feeling. Again. And he stresses about it until he talks to his dad and is told it's okay. Some people have more than one.

He has two hands! Yippee. Two mates<33

Big bad scary wolf who gets carsick if he's in the backseat. :(

Had an anxiety problem as a kid but grew out of it.

Aaron:

Was found by Isa's oldest brother (Elijah, age 19 at the time) while he was on a morning run through the forest.

After explaining her situation, Elijah asked if she'd come to his house and tell his mom. So she reluctantly agreed.

He carried her through the woods to his house and sets her down in the yard, then heads inside to get his parents. He explains what she told him, that she smells like vampires, and that she's alone.

They decided to take her in until her parents got back, but they never did.

Became instant-friends with Isa and Micah. The three of them were inseparable.

Isa told them his family's secret a couple months in and then they grew up wanting to be a wolf.

Came out to Isa in the middle of the night at age sixteen and had him chop their hair off. (It was a total hackfest but they liked it.)

Wakes up one night with fangs and glowing eyes, scaring the shit out of Isa.

Ashley:

Grew up with a single mom who really didn't care much about anything, especially him.

Was desperate for her approval so he'd always do his best at school, but was never really noticed.

At age thirteen, he witnessed his mom's death— her boyfriend Mitchell shoved her down a flight of stairs during an argument. He heard everything and knew what really happened but no one believed him, except his best friend Micah.

A couple weeks after the funeral, Mitchell starts trying to get handsy with Ashley. When he takes it too far, Ashley accidentally burns the house down.

It's a miracle he survived, says the EMTs who arrive on scene. But it wasn't a miracle, Ashley knows. The fire didn't come near him at all. It was as if he had a protective bubble around him— because he did.

He goes into foster care for a bit then the wolves snatch him up. (He was over at their house constantly and they're well liked in town so getting custody wasn't super hard.)

Shares Micah's bedroom.

He has some scars on his upper arms from cigarettes being put out on him. (One of his mom's old boyfriends used to call him Ashtray.)

The three of them are all holding hands 5ever and they'll also kill over each other if they have to. :3

[marthfador]

Hey I just reblogged that reusable pad post because I actually recently got some because of that exact post and y'all!!! I love these things!!!

Like. CW: Period Talk if that's something that bugs you but if you menstruate I'll say at least humor me for a minute here.

I'm gonna readmore just because I've got some pics and might talk a bit lmao

OKAY SO. The one thing I'll say put me into the realm of giving this a try was the talk about cleaning them. I was honestly on the fence about reusable pads, they always seemed like they'd at least be more comfy, but cleaning?? HMMM.

I actually did as someone said on that post- I'd rinse the pad out, put it in a container of water to soak overnight, then I'd give it a thorough wash after. Works perfectly! (Also rinsing out red is somehow satisfying lmfao)

Here is a liner to show you how it's put together. Really simple design, the clasps keep it positioned nicely- I'll admit if you're active perhaps go for the longer designs cause mine slipped a lil now n then. The grey fabric there is EXTREMELY soft! Like... It's really nice, it kinda reminds me of those thin throw blankets people tend to buy as gifts?? One of the things that I've always hated about pads is how they're really stiff and the plastic sticks to me- but not these guys! It's almost cozy in a way haha. It just feels like you added a layer to your undies- which I guess is true?

As for the practical part of things- after using my first one for a whole day, I take it off and I'm wondering if I'm somehow doing something wrong because it doesn't look like anything happened at all! There's not even a dark spot in the grey... But once I rinsed it out, it was like fruit punch was pouring out of it lmfao. This thing absorbed everything without feeling sticky and gross or feeling like I was wearing a used diaper like some of these plastic ones! It just might feel a little heavier than before.

The combo of easy to clean, nice feeling, and how incredibly absorbent it is... I've really gone full throttle and decided to lean heavier into these guys. I've even stopped using tampons except for places I want to be Doubly Sure Of... These guys are gonna save me so much money and embarrassment!!

My lil collection so far uwu If you sign up to their newsletter you can get a free liner so be sure to do that! I will say that I found the extra large to be more preferable to my nighttime use while the one labeled for night use feels better for longer or more active days. I liked it for work.

They also have some different sorts of Specials and all- I was like $5 short of free shipping and decided why not use it for another pouch? Would recommend- the pouches are actually really nice and they're able to get these all into one but I can't seem to manage it so I need both of them lol!

The one bad thing I'll say about the brand is that they mention you might be able to ask for specific patterns by email but I don't think they either checked it or noticed in time for my shipment to go out. For my second purchase I tried putting a request in the comment field and had kinda better results but it still wasn't the greatest in regards to pattern choice. (Not unless you purchase their specialty patterns... I've got pokemon pads now lol)

Overall, I'm absolutely adoring these things and if you have any questions at all that's keeping you from considering them, you go ahead and ask me because I'm gonna shout their praises to the heavens y'all!!!

[shibalen]

HIYA! This is me ✨ anon! I was about to sleep when you posted this gajshsjs better do it fast- Okay so, I would like a romantic match-up for Akatsuki no Yona and Haikyuu! I dont think I'll be able to summon those other emojis so I would like music box and jewellery box uwu. My nickname is Oya! I am a female with long straight black hairs and black eyes and I wear glasses. I am smol, 160cm, and a bit on the chubby side :"). I am a INTP-T so this shows I am an introverted person. ✨(1/2)✨

I also have trust issues so its really hard for me to open up to new people but once I get to know them I'll never leave their side. I also have anger issues so I bust out at the wrong time hahaha. I love to sleep, eat and be lazy all day doing nothing. If something interests me I would get obsessed with it. I have a disliking towards dogs because of some encounters in the past TvT. Just a little fun fact- sometimes I purr like a kitty 🐯. ✨(2/3)✨ (me made a little mistake I think-)

In a relationship, I would place loyalty and trust over everything else! Oh and I just saw that do you own many plants? Damn my house has like its own garden on the roof. Thanks for this and remember to always take care of yourself and stay safe 🌸 ✨(3/3)✨

♡︎ matchup for ✨anon

howdy! i'm so glad you made it on time. i really hope you enjoy your matches!

akatsuki no yona: i match you with . . .

shin-ah !!

• i know you two sound too similar to be matched but i promise once you come to trust each other the result is the most beautiful !!

• as an intp-t you are easy-going, have rich imagination and don't need extravagant objects in your life to feel happy. i am 100% sure Shin-ah would love these qualities in a lover.

• also, you need not look further for someone loyal and trustworthy because Shin-ah is the perfect example of those traits. no one will cherish you like he does. for you he'd go to the moon and back ♡︎

• he's a little difficult to understand sometimes but over time you learn to read his body language and tone of voice to determine how he's feeling. your bond exceeds the limits of words. it is something much deeper, almost spiritual.

• your relationship development was no doubt a long road, seeing as both of you were rather guarded at first, but i believe it was something that also brought you together.

• before you were ready to join the rest of the gang by the fire during dinners, you would sit by yourself. Shin-ah, being a shy boy but also knowing you were on your guard, began slowly sitting closer to you every time. it was little things like that which made you become closer.

• you grew together very naturally, respecting each others' boundaries until there were almost none between you two (o´ω`o)

• it's so lovely how you're always by each others side, not perhaps always talking but doing things like napping, eating and walking side-by-side. anybody can see what a cute couple you make.

• i'm telling you he's in love with how much passion you have for your interests. when you're telling him about all the plants you like or a crazy dream you had he'd mostly be quiet, hanging on your every word.

• but sometimes you'll catch him with a small smile or muttering "tell me more". you're like his own ray of sunshine

• once to explain it to him, i think he'll be fairly good at understanding your outbursts. he lived with Ao for a long time and knows when someone is under pressure.

• he'll try his best to help you. he has a very calm energy so being about him definitely has a good influence. will very gently reach out to you to get you away from your source of anger. "Oya, let's go."

• giving you his fluff when you're cold !! if you invite him to snuggle up to you, might catch a glimpse of him holding back tears before turning away to wipe them off.

• and speaking of, napping with Shin-ah is the best experience you can ask for: he's so soft and warm, and sometimes he'll hold onto you in his sleep like a small child— gets teased by Jae-Ha about it later shhh

• poor bby gets a little insecure when someone's flirting with you or even having your attention for a little too long :( if you're comfortable with it then he just subtly sulks in the background but if not then he'll be by your side in a second to ward off the character.

• when you're feeling shy or uncomfortable he'll either pull you close to hide within his fluff or pet your head. though he doesn't speak much, his actions speak for themselves.

• he brings you flowers and puts them in your hair. the contrast of your dark hair and light petals make it look like you have a tiny garden on your head, it makes Shin-ah's heart flutter to the point you can see his blush ♡︎

• your dates include romantic moonlit walks in a forest, firefly viewing, napping, making flower crowns and exploring new towns you travel to !!

♫︎ music box

— Dandelions by Ruth B.

— Talk To Me by Cavetown

— Lost In You by Khai Dreams

— Sunshine by Keaton Stormberg

— Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab

♡︎ runner up: Jae-ha

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

haikyuu: i match you with . . .

lev haiba !!

• i know for a fact Lev would l o v e your innovative and curious way of thinking as an intp-t !! also you're chill but don't open up much at first so that raises his curiosity towards you.

• you were classmates but hung around in too different circles to interact properly until . . . you both fell asleep in the same class. the teacher sent you to the corridor to think about your actions.

• while you were feeling embarrassed, Lev was a little cranky that his nap was interrupted and how sleepy he still was. he told you there was nothing to be embarrassed about since it was school in the first place that made you tired.

• despite your differences in personality (and you finding him kind of intimidating), Lev was super friendly and kept talking about volleyball and asking you questions. even afterward he came to talk to you because he honestly found you so pretty and smart and wanted to get to know you more ♡︎

• you soon noticed it was easy to trust him but it wasn't until another while that he asked you out. of course, he wanted to do it sooner but both Kuroo and Yaku said to make sure you were completely comfortable with him first.

• he brought you over to watch when they were having a practice match with Fukurodani. it was great.

• "Oya? " "Oya oya?" "Oya oya oya." i'm sorry i had to

• mate, you guys have over a 30cm height difference !! it's almost a second nature for this boy to pick you up, hug you and spin you around. you drown in his jersey but you know he loves it.

• you don't have to worry about hurting him when getting angry: sunshine boy lets it go easily. he'll only focus of making you feel better by joking around. "it's okay, Oya! compared to Yaku-san you're an angel!"

• when he first heard you purring he was like (´•ω•`)? but then changed to ((っ･ω･)っ lemme hold you you're too cute asdfghjk

• but you know he can be such a blabbermouth sometimes. when he's with the rest of the Nekoma team he can't help but talk about you. how excited you are about your interests, how adorable you are when you're napping, the list never ends, oh dear (¯∇¯٥)

• the boys can't decide whether it's cute or cringe that he has like a hundred pictures of you on his phone and his phone's background is a selfie of the two of you with edited cat ears and whiskers.

• spoiler: it's cute af and it makes him grin everytime he looks at it

• if there aren't any upcoming exams or games you meet up every saturday just to laze around and take it easy. when he gets stressed or is under the weather so being with you is the perfect relief.

• during a particularly rough week he'll complain what sounds like every second of the day. he'll be very whiny and touchy with you until and if you tell him to stop. but at least please hold his hand on your way home !!

• you do dumb but cute stuff together while hanging out like competing who can fit more popcorn in their mouth or doing the duck face with pringles chips and see who will laugh first (it's Lev)

• he can't remember all the types of plants you own so he names them himself. whenever he comes over he'll wave at them and call them something like Tom, Jeffrey or RedWheels666 lol

• a very fulfilling relationship: you provide the down-to-earth approach and the braincells while Lev is the social daredevil that is spontaneous enough for both of you.

• dates with the two of you include stay-at-home dinners with movies, cosy blanket and cuddles, karaoke nights, walks in the park and by ponds as well as visits to zoos and aquariums !!

𑁍 jewellery box

— favourite memory with you:

when you went on a school trip to a beach resort and after a long day of playing beach volleyball and hanging out with friends you two sneaked out to walk along the beach. you were sharing some snacks and chatting away. it was the first time you truly opened up to him. he remembers watching you smile so wide, so beautifully and being absolutely whipped.

— favourite activity to do together:

as much as he l o v e s napping with you, Lev's favourite activity together is, in fact, training. sounds strange, i know, but you don't even have to be athletic or do anything at all, he just likes having you there because you motivate him to do his best. you joke around, and count his pushups—if you're in a gym everyone else is jelly.

— favourite place to kiss you:

your stomach and cheeks. sometimes he challenges you to tickle fights just so he can peck your face with kisses or your belly. they're so soft he can't resist ♡︎

— favourite nicknames to call you by:

baby, because i know he just would. also your nickname and bean because that's what he called you before he knew your name so now it's a running gag between y'all.

— favourite thing about you:

probably that you're just as curious as him about your surroundings. it means that you join in when he gets excited over something instead of scolding him. you also don't mind his blunt nature and know he means well ♡︎

♡︎ runner up: Hajime Iwaizumi

there you go! thank you for the sweet words, i do try taking care though sometimes it's hard (✿^‿^) don't forget to take time off for yourself, dear ♡︎

[omgviolette12]

After Hours - Chapter 13

Previous Chapter

Summary: After sex, comes the bliss... right?

Chapters: 13/?

Words: 2800+

Warnings: None

Tags:  @milkymaidme @dangertoozmanykids101@alexakeyloveloki @little-moonbeam-666  @marvel-ous-fics@clovermariear@lynnesm@bitchyikes@moon-child-of-a-poet, @allthecraftandthings@bubblegumspitt @shockwavee @blondekel77 @nerd–nirvana @valdemarismynonbinarylove@nightrose64 @pastelhexmaniac @iistormii

If you’d like to be added, let me know. I’ve also posted this on AO3

A/N:  Sorry for the delay, still in the midst of final projects. Motivation to complete work/writing has been a bit slow, and I’ve been trying to think up new plot points. I’ve been stuck, lol. Anyway, enjoy!

----------------------------

Evelyn should’ve expected this, but she had no idea that she would be this sore.

 After the shower, they both became somewhat insatiable. It was as though Loki couldn’t get enough of her, and she of him. The taboo of their relationship spurred on their lust, the need to be connected to each other in every way possible great. So like he had promised, he fucked her into the late hours of the night.

  While she was grateful that her first time was far from terrible...she made a mental note to learn her limits. She thought the idea of getting fucked silly by the man she pined for would be a dream come true - but the effects on her body afterwards was kind of a bitch.

 Evelyn hopped and limped all the way to Loki’s car when they left his house early in the morning, wincing with every step. She attributed the amount of pain she was in due to the fact that she was simply not used to sex, and her professor’s size was considerable. 

 Perhaps the more they did it, the less pain there would be overtime?

Just the thought of a ‘next time’ in Loki’s bed was enough to set off another wave of butterflies inside her stomach. Whatever pain she was in right now, it was worth it.

 Loki, however, had long noticed Evelyn’s plight - in fact, he even had the gall to tease her about it, offering to carry her up the steps to her door like a princess once they reached her apartment.

 He sounded pretty serious about it too, so Evelyn couldn't help but blush even though she knew he was just messing around. It was going to be a challenge getting used to his playful side…

 Evelyn promised him that she'd stop by his office later on in the day, to resume her duties as his TA. Since she wouldn’t be able to attend the Monday lecture to help out this time around for obvious reasons, the least she could do was grade some exams. 

 She dreaded grading, especially since it was math( another reason why she skipped meetings in the beginning…) but now that the dynamic between her and Loki has changed considerably, she was actually looking forward to being productive in his presence.

  They parted with a kiss, and Evelyn made her way to her apartment door slowly. Now, she just had to try to walk inside like there wasn't a stick up her ass.

To Evelyn’s surprise and dismay, Candice was waiting for her on the couch, a cup of hot cocoa in hand as she watched her hop through the front door.

 Evelyn was secretly banking on the fact that she had left for work already, since Candice mentioned offhandedly that she took up more shifts at her hospital.

  But alas, the shit-eating grin that was plastered on Candice’s face meant that she must’ve called in sick to witness Evelyn’s limp of shame, first thing.

 “Well! I’ll be damned,”

 Evelyn stubbornly ignored her in embarrassment as she limped past the couch to head to her room, but Candice set down her mug to follow her, giggling like a fool, “He busted that cherry so hard he got you hoppin’ like a bunny! Sheesh...”

 "Not now, Candice…" Her face felt hot, desperately wishing her sister had some sort of filter.

 "Did y'all use a rubber? Did he hurt you? Because if he hurt you Eve -"

 Candice was going to badger her until all was answered, so Evelyn relented with a grimace, hoping she would leave her alone after she was satisfied,

 “ No! He didn’t hurt me...and yes, we used protection. Each time.”

 “Each ti- each time?! How many times did y’all fu- ”

 Evelyn cut her off before she could finish, “I’ll answer all the juicy deets later, okay!? I didn’t have time to shower before we left, and I wanna do that now. Please?”

 Candice realized she was being a bit overbearing, backing off a bit. Evelyn was extremely fun to tease and make fun off, but she knew her sister had limits,

  “Sorry, sorry. My baby sister never seemed the type to be interested in sex or anything before...so to do it with a professor of all people for your first time! And a kinky one! Don’t blame me for being interested and concerned...”

 Evelyn ignored the kinky comment, limping inside her room as she replied, “I mean, is the professor thing really that big a deal? I’m technically just a former student of his...”

 “Not really, you already know how my hoe phase was. Fucked a few teachers in my college days. But you have to be careful with these older men Eve, since you’re new to this sort of thing. Don't get attached. Especially if his dick game’s good, he will manipulate the hell outta you,”

 "...Speaking from experience?"

 "Yep. Found out this guy was a whole married man and I still went back to fuck. Good dick messes with your morals sis,"

 Evelyn had a hard time taking her words seriously since Candice lacked morals in the first place, but pretended to agree so she could leave her be,

"I'll make sure to be careful, okay? Can I shower now?"

 "Yeah yeah, we'll talk more later. Remember what I said, hmm?"

And with that, Candice left her room with a skip to her step.

 Evelyn didn’t bother processing her sister’s warning, going straight to the shower to relieve her sore muscles.

--------------------------------

 By the time Evelyn made her way unto the campus, the pain had lessened considerably. She still had to walk a bit carefully, but she didn’t feel as raw as before. While she showered, she also noticed bruises alongside her hip and waist - she even had to use more than a bit of makeup to cover the new ones Loki had ‘affectionately’ placed in plain sight on her neck.

 She was especially hard to bruise, so she was baffled at the amount she currently had.

 Evelyn thought that she should at least feel miffed about it, but somehow the thought of being marked as his, in any way, sent a thrill through her being. Even when he was rough at some points...

  I had sex just once and I’m already a deviant…hehe.

 Evelyn was quite busy daydreaming about the naughty events from last night, that she didn’t see the tall figure standing in her way as she headed towards Loki’s office.

 ‘Oof!’

 As expected, she collided straight into the person’s side, yelping in the process.

 “Oh shit - I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention…”

 She looked up apologetically at the woman in front of her - lithe and pale, with narrowed blue eyes that accentuated her intimidating presence. 

 Perhaps because she also had dark hair and sharp facial features, she saw a vague resemblance to Loki.

 “Obviously, you weren’t,” the woman replied curtly, before giving a tight smile,

“But, I’ll forgive you if you were to lend some assistance.”

 Her tone carried a sort of cold arrogance, as Evelyn shrunk underneath her stare. She even had Loki’s accent…

 “Uh...of course! How can I help…?” Although she was in a bit of a rush to get to where she needed to be, she did not want the woman in front of her to be any more pissed off than she already seemed to look.

 She showed Evelyn a map of the campus that was in her hands, pointing at the building she wanted to head to, “This map is much too complicated for me, and I’m trying to look for this building. I need to find someone, and this is where his office is apparently.”

 “Oh, I’m actually heading there!” Evelyn was glad that the woman pointed towards the science department - the campus was fairly large, and she barely knew half of the map. “If you don’t mind me asking, who’re you trying to find? I can show you to them directly…”

 She didn’t have to go the extra mile, merely walk with her to the building. But Evelyn had always been a people pleaser.

 “Ah, I’m looking for my brother. Are you a student of his, perhaps? I do know that he teaches here…Loki Odinson. Or Laufeyson, whatever he wants to go by nowadays.”

 “Brother? You’re Loki’s sister?” Evelyn asked in a surprised tone, voice elevated. He did mention he two had siblings during their date, but he never went into detail about anything.

 The woman looked at her oddly, a small chuckle leaving her lips, “Well, you certainly sound quite familiar with him.”

 Evelyn realized her mistake, hastily rushing to fix it. Loki was fine with Candice knowing everything, but she still wasn’t sure about his side of the family. 

 “Oh, about that...I usually just call all the professors by their names, haha…”

 “My brother really dislikes being referred to in an informal manner, so I find the idea of him allowing that unlikely.”

 “.....”

 Evelyn was momentarily speechless, akin to a deer in headlights. 

 “Uhm, you see, I -“

 “No need to explain,” the woman stepped closer, a bit too close for comfort as she scrutinized Evelyn’s face, “You’re his exact type, you know. Short, timid, pretty. He’s probably quite taken with you...” 

 As she looked her up and down, a spark of realization lit her eyes..

 “Miss...you’re stepping out of line here.”

She was assuming way too much, for just a minor slip up. And who spoke like this to someone they just met? 

 “Oh, It's just harmless teasing,” she stepped back, her smile starting to look a lot more natural. 

 She pulled out her hand for a handshake, “ Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Hela. Hela Odinson. And you?”

 Evelyn gave a momentary look of reluctance before accepting the handshake, “Uhm, Evelyn Monroe. Nice to meet you, I guess?”

 Hela’s smile became broader, “Let’s walk and talk, hmm?”

 Evelyn was very uncomfortable, but started to walk regardless.

 As they made their way towards Loki’s office, Hela, surprisingly, insisted on making small talk. Evelyn pegged her for the cold and silent type like her brother, but she was entirely the opposite. She asked general questions about what Evelyn did, her age, etc. But unfortunately, she also kept asking suggestive questions, hoping for another slip up on her end.

 “I haven’t spoken to my brother in a while, so I’m clueless as to how he’s doing. Does he treat you well, Evelyn?”

 Hela began adopting a familiar and warmer tone, softening Evelyn’s first impression. It succeeded in lulling her into a sense of minor comfort, “Oh, he treats me very well. I mean, he’s pretty nice to all of his students, most times...” 

 “Hm, that’s surprising. His personality is treacherous, so I expected the opposite.”

 Evelyn looked at her quizzically. For his sister, she sure spoke like she disliked him to a large degree.

 “Since I like you, I’ll give you a bit of advice,”

Hela turned to look at her then, meeting her eyes,

“Don’t get too attached to a man like Loki, especially if he thinks you’re a temporary plaything. He gets... annoyed, quite easily. You weren't the only one he happened to fancy so much in the past...so I'd know.”

….?!??

“Excuse me, but what -“ Evelyn started, but then the dark, pissed off voice of her professor sounded from behind them.

 “Hela,”

 His face was pulled into a tight scowl, trained directly at his sister, “ What nonsense are you spewing?”

 Loki appeared behind them suddenly out of thin air, startling the wits out of Evelyn. Before she could ponder the possibility that he had magical powers, she realized they just passed the lecture hall where his class was, on the way to his office.

 “I took time out of my busy schedule to see you, dear brother...one would think you’d sound a bit more affectionate. Hasn't it been a year since we last spoke?”

 “Slither back to whatever hell you came from, woman.”

 “Well, I suppose that’s close enough.”

 Evelyn looked back and forth between the two, the tension thick and uncomfortable. They were in the middle of the hallway and students still wandered about, so she decided to make an exit. She wanted no part in whatever mystery family drama that was unfolding...and she needed time to ponder over Hela’s words.

  I’ll ask just him about this later...

 “So...um. I’m gonna go ahead to the office, okay? Grade those papers...yippee…”

 She added awkwardly, slowly backing away.

 Loki looked at her then. She hoped his face would soften a bit, but it didn’t. 

“I’ll be there shortly. This won’t take long.”

His answers were short and clipped, so she knew he was pissed. 

She didn’t do anything wrong to her knowledge, so she blamed his mood all on his sister. 

 Before Evelyn left, Hela addressed her one last time.

“It was lovely meeting you, sweetheart. I’m sure we’ll see each other again…”

 “Oh. Uhm, yeah. Nice meeting you too…”

Evelyn didn’t waste anymore time, leaving the pair once she saw Loki’s worsening expression.

 ---------------------

Hela’s words from before repeated inside her head, filling her with a sense of paranoia. But, she had no reason to be paranoid, right? Loki said they were exclusive, after all. He said he wanted her to be his woman. No, she was his woman. And he made sure of that last night.

 Evelyn stubbornly pushed her anxieties aside into the far crevice of her mind, reassuring herself with his words. Although Hela was his sister, she and Loki clearly weren’t on good terms. She could’ve said that in order to sabotage their suspected relationship.

  God, this is giving me a damn headache...

 She settled in Loki's office, taking the stack of exams from his desk and got comfortable on the couch. She hoped grading and correcting complicated equations would fry her brain enough to stop the fretting, as she waited for him to come.

 Loki appeared after about fifteen minutes, and Evelyn bolted upright once she heard him enter.

 “Oh, Loki! I went ahead and started…”

She paused mid sentence when she saw his expression.

“...Grading…”

 Why did it feel like she was in some sort of trouble? The heck?

His face didn’t change much from when he spoke to Hela, so it made her nervous.

 Evelyn just opted to stay quiet for now. She’d ask about Hela later once he looked a little less pissed off. She was his girlfriend now, but she still felt his authoritative presence especially when they were on campus.

 Well, she was going to stay quiet, until his deep voice resounded inside the room.

 “I'm curious about something, Evelyn.”

  Uh oh. Why's he using that voice?

 "How did that...woman, know that we were involved with each other?"

 "Uh...woman? I mean, I thought she said she was your sister…?"

 "That isn't the answer to my question."

 Inwardly, Evelyn felt whiplashed. Everything was so dandy this morning and last night...so how did things take such a strange turn so quickly?

 "Look, when she told me she was your sister, I said your first name on impulse. That's literally it! She assumed stuff based on that one thing…"

 Evelyn put the papers on her lap to the side, feeling frustrated, "And…it really isn't that big a deal, right? You said that people outside the school could know. You were fine with Candice knowing, so why not -"

 He cut her off before she could finish,

"Darling, let me say this in a way that you can comprehend," 

  In...in a way that I can comprehendddd? Did he just call me stupid eloquently?

 Evelyn was stunned into silence as Loki spoke, and he moved to stand above her as she sat rigidly on the couch. "Such a simple mistake, regardless of who it was, is monumental. Your words weren't what gave you away, Evelyn. But your body language. You're entirely too expressive for your own good,"

 He sighed a disappointed sigh, moving away to pinch the bridge of his nose, "At any rate, I can live with Hela knowing...but for future reference, avoid her. At all costs."

 Loki looked at her then, eyes stern, "Do you understand what I'm saying? Or should I elaborate further?"

 Evelyn was honestly a bit speechless. She felt extremely put off and mildly hurt… that he spoke to her like she was a child, rather than his lover.

She really hated herself right now. Was she actually about to cry? He would seriously think she was childish, if this was how she was going to react.

 Tears wouldn’t do her any favors, especially once he was in this kind of mood anyway.

Why am I so fucking sensitive?!

She sighed shakily, swallowing the knot in her throat as she replied, "Yeah...I got it."

 "Good, then." 

 He moved casually to sit behind his desk, attempting to soften his tone with his next words, "You can work for maybe half an hour, then I'd like to treat you to dinner. Seeing that woman left an unpleasant taste… but spending more time with you should remedy that."

 She didn't reply, and only stared at the floor.

 "... Evelyn?"

 When she glanced up, he saw that her large, hazel eyes were shimmering with unshed tears.

”I’m... I’m going to use the restroom, okay? I’ll be back,”

 She got up quickly. And before he could properly react, she promptly went to exit the room.

--------------

A/N:  Your thoughts bring me joy, I greatly appreciate each and every one! Please let me know what you thought :)

[arguedquill1226]

Hollowed Heroes

chapter one (18+, MINORS DO NOT READ)

Summary: BuckyBarnes x FemaleReader-you have a unpolished past but you want a true chance at doing good in the world, to redeem yourself. Oh! And you happen to live and work with the Avengers sense the fall of shield while doing it... everything changes one day when Steve brings home a stray. What can the future hold for you and the team? Will this change the dynamic of missions? Will this stray be the answer to some of your darkest secret? Only time will tell...

Word count: 2,790ish

Taglines: 18+, Marvel AU, angst, explicit language, cursing (more to come as it gets deeper into the story)

Notes: Hi everyone! This is my first ever post of AU Marvel fanfic so please be gentle LOL...in short I've flipped some of the canon facts around like Sam and Steve got really close while shield is still in operation but age of Ultron happened before the triskelion incident in DC. So the facts are still the same but flipped or altered to work for my AU timeline. I'll try to fill in the differences as we go along with the fanfic, but I'mma Bebe writer so bare with me and my terrible grammar and punctuation XD so I apologize ahead of time! Also I do my own photo edits but I get a lot of the pictures of of Pinterest so all the credit goes to the OG poster of those pics...Happy reading & Hope y'all enjoy!

PS. I post from a mobile device so sorry for filling your feed and no keep reading option 😢

Updated on January 22, 2021

••••••••••

Chapter one-

First Impressions…

Tired and your eyes are burning. You casually lean against the wall with your knee bent and foot pushed on a piece of industrial paneling in an open debriefing room surrounded by soft sunlight and windows. It’s fairly early in the morning and you’re zoning out looking at the rich wooden floor while Tony drowns on for what felt like the 10th time on how you and Nat’s night op went and what the information you gathered meant for the “big picture.”

You had completely understood the gist of what he was trying to explain the first time he went over it. But when he gets on a roll with an audience, you know better than to interrupt him or let your sarcasm get the best of you. You and Nat were beat but the others had shown up late to the debrief so you just thought about getting out of your gear and hitting the rack for a few. The room was fairly quiet, with only Tony talking. So it wasn't hard to hear down the corridor a heavy set of metal doors close calmly with an mild echo…a side effect of having such wide open spaces on the operations level of the Avengers compound.

The noise had jarred you out of your dazed thought patterns. When you looked up, it had dawned on you that not everyone you'd had expected to see was in the meeting.

Steve.......where is Steve? Was your initial thought.

You and Steve had gotten close over the last 10 months sense Nat had brought you into the fold a little while before S.H.I.E.L.D fell. About as close as him a Nat. Sam had always joked with you 3 about being “the three musketeers” on ops. But you didn’t care because it was all in fun and was kind of true. You all had your particular skill sets, but also some skills that we’re similar. So it was easy to fall into step with each other.

It was then, you could hear hushed voices right outside the door frame to the room. Within seconds Steve and another man obscured slightly behind his right shoulder had entered, quietly sliding over to lean on the opposite wall from you hoping to not interrupt Tony you had guessed. He'd seemed to notice you following their movements with curious eyes and gave you a kind nod that you returned with a saw smile.

You glanced over quickly at the stranger. He was about as tall as Steve but thicker with broader shoulders. Dark, unkempt hair came down to his jawline obscuring his main features along with the black ball cap he was donning. He wore an Army green utility jacket over a light blue plaid shirt, denim jeans with boots. Dressed very mundane, perhaps too much. What struck you as especially odd was the fact that he was wearing black leather gloves out of season for upstate New York. It was early autumn, still fairly warm outside.

Steve had backed out of this last mission with you and Nat to deal with what he would only describe as a “personal matter,” so you started to wonder if this man had anything to do with that. Steve had explained how he had full confidence in you two to handle a simple stakeout/smash and grab on our own. So neither of you pressed him for more info and wished him luck.

A few seconds later, Tony had finished and everyone was content with all the information given and was about to stand when Tony, being snarky, acknowledged Steve finally showing up to the meeting.

“So nice of you to join us, we were helpless without you Cap!” Tony stated while waving his finger at our fearless leader dripping with sarcasm.

“Sorry Tony, I was hoping to be here earlier to talk to you.” He said a little unsure of Tony’s reaction to the stranger he glanced back at.

At that action, Tony seemed to register something in his memory. Possibly something him and Steve had discussed in private you wondered. Possibly something about this strange man who seem to be fairly familiar to you but you couldn't place him…By this time, everyone but Nat and Sam was staring back at Steve and the stranger waiting for an explanation. Those two seem to know something you and the others didn't. Nat looked at you out of the corner of your eye.

Who was he?...you wondered.

•••••••••••••••

He was nervous walking through the double doors in the corridor leading to a room that he could hear some guy rambling on, the voice sounded vaguely familiar. Looking back at the exit while the doors echoed shut behind them, Steve assured him that he wouldn’t let anything get out of hand and would explain everything to the group who may not understand or be upset that he had found the man Steve new long ago and was bringing him home like some lost pup...which Bucky hated to think of it like that but the man was damn determined and stubborn for him to come back with him. Bucky knew this team was established to do good in the world but he didn’t know if his presence would upset their carefully built dynamic.

Steve had left 3 weeks ago on a solo op that he was quiet about any details to most of the team but Sam and Tony knew. And Nat guessed it when she had seen the three in an incognito meeting disgusting details on a large timeline display of information Friday, Tony’s helpful A.I., had up about the ghost from more than just Steve’s past. Even with how close Steve, Nat and You are…you all have your individual secrets and knowledge that hasn’t come up in conversation. And Steve didn’t know that you had your own run in with the man he was about to walk through the door with right now. But Nat did know, but choose to not tell you this fact and may be regretting it that the moment. But it wasn’t her secret to tell Steve so how was she supposed to explain to him that not everyone may be okay with this.

Nat had warned Steve once at the cemetery when she gave him a copy of the file from Kiev. But she did it again a second time that evening. Before he and Sam left to find his oldest friend. He had promised to take what she said to heart and to not push Bucky or the others into anything they weren’t comfortable with. But they left anyways. Sam had returned alone 8 days after they left and only would say “it went as well as could be expected and Steve (more likely, Bucky) just needed some more time.”

In that time away, the boys found Bucky on a tip from the Smithsonian video feeds and CCTV which of course Bucky didn’t know was a thing. So it wasn’t hard to track him down and they found him in a seedy motel living on stolen credit cards, junk food from gas stations and a few random notebooks looking so lost. They had only left a note on the door to his room, letting Bucky know they wouldn’t bother him. But they added a phone number and that they could help him learn about his past, if he wanted. He thought about it for days before he called the man from the museum exhibition, the one everyone called ‘Captain America.’ He was starting to remember flashes of memories and feelings over the last few months away from Hydra's grasp, but couldn’t seem to make sense of them on his own. So he said, “fuck it!” And met the two men he recognized from that awful day in Washington DC.

•••••••••••••

They did help but his mind was far from perfect and he felt like an exposed nerve walking through the door to the room.

Fuck, so many people!

So he ducked his head and stayed near Steve. Even though he only knew the man for a few short weeks, he felt like he could trust Steve unconditionally which wasn’t a feeling he was used to. He recognized the guy talking as the famous Tony Stark or aka ‘Ironman.’ He was grateful when Tony didn’t really draw attention to him directly and chose instead to pick on Steve.

Bucky took the opportunity to scan the room. An old habit from all the Hydra training or maybe from howling commando days. That wasn’t clear to him yet. He seen some faces that were confused or apprehensive. Two he recognized to be Sam and a girl he thought was named Natalia, he’d hoped she didn’t completely want to shoot him for what he tried to do to her in DC and whatever else he may have done. She didn’t look upset though. She looked unsure, then glanced to a quiet girl he hadn’t noticed until he followed Nat’s eye line.

It was you, a beautiful girl nonchalantly leaning on the wall in a “back of the class” kind of way. With long, YC hair that was a bit wild from the long night and deep YC eyes with messy black smoky eyeshadow that resembled war paint. Dressed in all black, holsters and straps. She wasn’t like Natalia dressed in a sleek look though, more apocalyptic and organic. Weathered Moto pants, combat boots and a loose fitted, faded black tank top that had a worn group of holes reminiscent of bird shot where your utility belt buckle rubs against the material. Your jacket discarded on the floor haphazardly by your feet. Almost familiar to someone or something he’d seen before…wait………..yes……definitely someone………..shit… and the memory slips away…

Bucky was completely stunned by how beautiful you are. But he didn’t want to seem like a creep so he kept his glance short before looking back at Natalia and Sam. He had completely ignored what Steve was saying to his friends, being stuck in his thoughts when he heard Tony say,

“This is James Barnes everybody. Don’t be afraid to say ‘Hi' and remember to show him to his room later, will ya Cap?”

“He prefers Bucky actually,” Steve says nodding his head to the rest of the group “and I will. Thanks again for understanding Tony.”

By this time, Vis, Wanda, Tony, Maria, Rhodey and Clint began filling out of the door past Steve and Bucky with quick greetings and smiles in a hurry to get to their priorities for the day…whatever those were. You found yourself smiling and wanting to giggle at the thought of Clint’s main mission probably being to eat the last donuts in the kitchen of the compound, when you realized Nat had walked up to you and Sam had joined Barnes and Steve by the door. Nat was obviously trying to block his view of you for some reason. As good as she was executing a distraction, she should’ve known better as that was one of your many skill sets too.

That’s when you realized Barnes kept his head coy but was glancing at you periodically over Nat’s shoulder. It wasn’t hard to see because you were slightly taller than Nat so she couldn’t really block him from looking your way. It struck you differently than it usually does when someone stares at you. Normally, you cringe and feel awkward in a personal setting with someone staring at you. But this time it’s like his eyes are drawing you into a trap. His eyes…holy fuck, you hadn’t noticed his eyes. Before they were hidden under the bill of his hat but now they’re looking directly into yours and they’re the brightest slate blue color. You easily spot them from over 15 feet away.

Nat notices your eye contact and she scoops up your jacket and shoves it lightly to your chest. You grab it while she simultaneously hooks her elbow around yours and leads you out of the room. On your way by the three men, she smiles and says,

“see you boys at the gym later.”

Bucky follows you and Nat’s path with his eyes as you hang a left leading into the section that has the hanger bay on your right heading to the elevators on the left that will take you up to the living quarters. He turns back to Sam and Steve to find them looking at him.

“Don’t worry, YourNickName isn’t anyone you need to worry about. She’s actually really cool.” Sam says with a smug smile on his face like he noticed something.

Bucky repeated, “YNN?”

“Ya, it’s short for YFirstN. She’s been working with us for a while now but she’s still kind of the new here too. Now, how about a tour?” Steve added.

Bucky nodded in agreement and they walked out of the room heading in the same direction as you two did. Hoping he may run into you again while Sam and Steve kept pointing out what different sections of the compound were used for.

•••••••••••••

After you and Nat we're a little ways away from the debriefing room, she started some small talk about how nice a hot shower would feel right now and you agreed wholeheartedly. But stepping into the elevator, you couldn't shake the feeling that you wanted to go back and properly say hi to the new guy Bucky and welcome Steve back.

Nat told you with a smile sensing your thoughts, “don't worry, we will see Steve later at the gym. And later for movie night. You know how Tony gets if we don't show up for his events, we should catch up on our sleep now so we're not late.”

You giggle, “events?... It’s a movie Nat.”

“Ya, but Rogers is back and brought Barnes with him so now he’s going to go overboard and really make it a picture show.”

“Yep…agreed. It’ll be a whole thang now!” you say over exaggeratedly with you hands and jacket waving back and forth while rolling your eyes. “Hopefully he doesn’t plan on showing anything Charles Chaplin for our sakes!” you yell jokingly while turning away and jogging down the hall. You hear Nat belly laugh before you both duck into your rooms for some much needed R&R.

It doesn’t take you long to peel your gear off and start the shower. It starts to whistle due to the steaming hot water shooting out of the head while you bun your hair on the top of your head and flop your towel over the rod. Ready for the inevitable soap in your eye somehow because you’re secretly a total klutz. You turn the water down a tad and start your music on your phone and jump in while you start to sing along.

You’re clean and relaxed in no time at all so you shut off the shower and hop out, throw on a tank and shorts and turn the music down a bit. When you walk out of the bathroom you hear a familiar voice pass by your door. It’s Steve saying, “and your room is right here, mine’s just down the hall and Sam’s is around the corner if you need anything.”

A door in the hall latches softly, then…… silence. You open your door to hopefully catch Cap before he runs off and he’s already in front of your door. His hand up looking prepared to knock and eyebrows raised with a smile on his face when he sees you.

“Hey!” he boasts.

“Hey you!” you reach for a quick hug and he gladly accepts. “We all missed you.”

“Well I’m back now. So you don’t need to anymore. Listen, can I ask you a favor?” he asks with a grin.

“Of course!”

“I hope you don’t mind but…uh…I gave Bucky the room next to yours. And I know you don’t really know him…or anything…I guess what I’m asking is, if you see him out and about can you help make him feel welcome…I figured sense you’re still kind of new maybe…” He tries to explain while rubbing the back of his neck and looking shy.

But you hold up your hand to stop his awkwardness and say, ”yeah, of course Steve. Anything for ya.”

“That great, thanks YN, you rock!” he says beaming.

“Not a prob. Now unless you have any better uses for my bed you’d like to personally show me?” you tease with a sarcastically sultry expression to see if he blushes.

“Uhhh…I…” he totally does.

“That’s what I thought,” you giggle and shoo him off. “I’m hitting the rack, night Stevie!”

“But it’s day!” he jokes as he head down the hall as you shut your door.

You climb into bed thoroughly enjoying the thought of how your sense of humor and Steve’s reservoir of pent-up 1940s sass effortlessly fits together. Within seconds of getting comfy and turning off your tunes, you’re out.

Chapter Two coming soon... Masterlist here

***if you liked this please feel free to let me know with a *reblog or ask* thanks so much for reading!!!

[dalishious]

@briannamorley Well I wasn’t going to respond to all your replies, but then I figured hell, if you felt the need to go through all my anti Celene shit to leave messages saying you disagreed, you must really value my opinion of your opinion, so who would I be not to?

briannamorley replied to your post “What ending should I take in WEWH? Last time I played I hadn't read...”

Love the page; disagree about Celine and Briala's relationship being toxic--save for her killing Bria's parents. I personally always reconcile them even if you weigh her over Gaspard, she's the lesser of two evils. Gaspard would do way more killing then a 1k elves plus, as far as the abuse we don't know the extent all Bria says is on days she was cruel, she imagined them being amongst the Dalish with Celine having to serve her.

So like... if having her parents murdered doesn’t cross a line for you into toxic territory, what does, then?

And re: “We don’t know the extent” of Celene’s treatment of Briala...

The black curls lightened to grey with the pre-dawn light, then slid to the light brown of cinnamon as the sun brought colour to the room. Dirt-brown, Celene had called it, when Briala had waited upon her as a girl. Horse-dung brown, an ugly shadow of Celene’s spun-gold locks. -pg 27

Briala, a WOC, grew up serving Celene, a white woman, comparing her hair to horse-dung. And had to just grin and bare it because that was her job, and her mother instructed her to be Celene’s friend.

“Maker, I envy you sometimes.” She knew immediately that she had said something wrong. She felt Briala stiffen, though her arms didn’t move, and Briala’s voice was light as she said, “The empress of Orlais envies an elven handmaid?” “You know what I mean, Bria.” Still holding her, Celene patted Briala’s back. “You could leave here, become someone else.” “As long as that someone is an elf,” Briala said with a dimpled smile, but Celene knew she was still hurt. “Yes, I know. But I... I was born to sit on that throne. I can’t do anything else. Since my parents and Lady Mantillon...” She trailed off. This time, Briala pulled away. “You would make a wonderful scholar,” she said as she stood and pulled her robe on, “at least until Emperor Gaspard made a decision you found objectionable. Then, I believe trouble would ensue.” She smiled over her shoulder. “You are probably right, my love.” Celene rose as well and pulled her own robe on, as if nothing were wrong. “And... I will consider Remache.” Briala nodded and slipped her mask into place, then left through the passage behind the mirror, and Celene sighed and fetched her little magical pot. She would be making her own tea this morning, it seemed. -pg 59

Celene hurts Briala, and her thought is how she’ll have to make her own tea.

Briala sat. “...The elves in Halamshiral are angry. Lord Mainserai killed a tradesman without justification, and the elves are calling for mien’harel.” At Celene’s silence, Briala added, “It is an elven word. When the humans go too far, the elves remind them that even a short blade must be respected. They—” “They will rebel,” Celene said, the words cutting through the chilly autumn air. “Against me. Now.” “It is not rebellion, Your Majesty.” Briala bowed her head and took a shaky breath, clutching at the griffon-head arm of her chair. This was exactly what she had feared. “The elves of Halamshiral have never seen you. Their grievance is with neither you nor Orlais. They only wish justice for a man of your empire who died without cause.” “What they wish is irrelevant.” Celene turned and stalked away from the window. “I am already fighting a war on two fronts. I cannot be seen to fight a war on three.” “Then don’t.” Briala rose, putting herself in Celene’s path. “Give them justice.” “A lord for the death of an elf? I... damn this thing.” With a quick jerk, Celene tore the mask from her face. Her face was flushed beneath, her eyes red from another night of little sleep. “Shall I declare the elves equal citizens before the Maker and the throne as well, while I’m at it?” “Why not?” Briala took her own mask off, stealing a quick moment to steady herself. “Unless you don’t believe that, and I’m just a jumped-up kitchen slut you haven’t tired of yet.” Celene turned away, tossing her mask onto an overstuffed couch and stalking to the great amber wall. “You know I cannot do that, Bria. I might as well engrave Gaspard’s initials on the throne.” Against the wall of gold and red, Briala’s empress and lover looked pale and wan. Celene had always seen sleep as an enemy, or at most a necessary evil, from what Briala could tell, and since the events in Kirkwall the stress of rising tensions had her awake before dawn almost every morning. If it were early enough, Briala could sometimes coax her into lovemaking, and the warm and drowsy bliss afterward would let Celene steal a few more hours of rest. Lately, even that had not been enough. Briala sighed. “I do know.” Instead of going to Celene, she went to the small table where Celene’s teapot sat, forever just shy of boiling. She poured Celene a cup of tea, brought it over, and gently touched Celene’s shoulder. It was not quite an apology. -pg 62

Briala fears having to ask Celene to enact justice. Celene says what the elves want is of no care to her. She then mocks the idea of elven freedoms. And “It was not quite an apology” my ass - Briala has nothing to apologize for.

What had happened at Halamshiral was a still-painful ache, but the elves had rebelled. Celene had done what she had to do. Had Briala been there, she might have been able to turn Celene to a different course, but Briala herself was the one who had left. It was not Celene’s fault that she had been manoeuvred into doing what she had done, any more than it was Briala’s fault for leaving Celene without the guidance she had wanted. -pg 167

Celene even has Briala convinced that she’s to blame for Halamshiral, because she wasn’t there to tell Celene otherwise. If one person in a relationship relies solely on another to guide their morals, yes, I would indeed call that toxic.

But anyway, these are just a few samples of Celene’s dismissive behaviour towards Briala. She only does the bare minimum to keep Briala at her side; she does not truly care about the elves.

briannamorley replied to your post “What ending should I take in WEWH? Last time I played I hadn't read...”

Also Bria has accepted that neither the city or Dalish elves see her as part of them; letting her rule with him as her mask--much like forcing them to work together--while interesting in theory, wouldn't last I don't think anyway. Ppl would get suspicious; Gaspard is a military strategist not an adept ruler

Briala goes from this:

Briala could not afford to spare tears for inevitable deaths. In that respect, she supposed that she was more like the nobles she served than the elves in the marketplace. The thought sometimes sickened her, but again, not as much as the thought of deaths she could have prevented. -pg 61

to this:

She had been in Celene’s court for too long. Too many years being called “rabbit,” too many years ducking her head and working from the shadows. Too many years of being proud of who she was, a feeling she could cling to like a floating log in a rushing river. It had kept her head above water, but it had never let her steer her own course. She would fight for her people, because nobody else would, and Fen’Harel take whoever got in her way. -pg 144

Briala’s whole character arc is about discovering who she is as her own person, and reconnecting with her people. Unless “has” was a typo for “had.”

Also, why is it unrealistic for Dalish and city elves to work together? Dalish elves go to the city, and city elves go to the Dalish all the time. In some cases you have clans that have very strong relationships with nearby alienages, such as Clan Boranehn and the Edgehall alienage in Knight Errant, for example.

briannamorley replied to your post “grandenchanterfiona: I don’t hate Celene because she’s a woman. I...”

Disagree not about the genocide or lying to Bria but everything else

...K?

briannamorley replied to your post “grandenchanterfiona: That’s it. Until proven otherwise the Masked...”

Nope to each their own though

...K?

briannamorley replied to your post “grandenchanterfiona: Celene is a straight guy’s idea of a lesbian....”

Stop... I can see if you were equating this to RR Martin but really???

Yes really lol

briannamorley replied to your post “I just read The Masked Empire and even though I knew how bad Celene...”

Theres disliking something and then there's bashing it to the point it becomes infuriating

Sorry guess we never received the guidelines one has to follow in terms of disliking something. Tell me, does it include going through a blog’s tags and leaving reply after reply that says basically the same thing?

briannamorley replied to your post “mllemaenad: jocelyntorrent: mllemaenad: … Okay, I don’t get it. ...”

Disagree but crazy tired so to each their own

Good thing you left another just plain ‘disagree,’ otherwise I might have gotten confused.

briannamorley replied to your post “So this by no means excuses Celene's actions whatsoever, but I noticed...”

Love orlais but again, to each their own

Cool cool I hate Orlais but to each their own. Perhaps I should find some random Orlais fan and spam their email notifications with replies saying as such, to make sure they know!

briannamorley replied to your post “lmao no, about 300 elves were brutally slaughtered, sweet summer...”

More than 300 but it does border on bashing

WTF does this one even mean?

briannamorley replied to your post “grandenchanterfiona: Celene has absolute power; she does not have a...”

If so say that from jump don't go on and on going from legitimate gripe to bashing... like damn I like both of y'alls pages but FUCK me this is exhausting

Then why are you reading through all this? And seriously, what is with this “bashing?” Is there some kind of internet slang I’m unfamiliar with? Because if you just mean bashing as in criticism that hell fucking yes I am critical of Celene. She has a lot of reasons for me to be.

briannamorley replied to your post “Remember that time when Michel de Chevin partook in the Academie des...”

Sigh... y es it was an oversight by them that shouldn't have happened but goddamn

“But goddamn...” what? Why is there a but? Why is there a but goddamn? Just... why, period?

Anyway, TL;DR:

[lxvechauncey]

THE LAST AIRBENDER (lol) The frustration of being a faithful man in a time where they don’t exist

I’m confident that there are only a handful of men in America who are 100% faithful to their s/o’s. I am very proud to say that I am one of them. It’s really not difficult to be loyal. But we live in a very bad time. Love isn’t love anymore. Love doesn’t last. I feel like we as a generation of people don’t even really know who we are, still. We live in a generation where it’s no longer frowned upon [or considered at least a little bit cringe worthy] to hear our favorite singers serenade us with stories of infidelity. Admittedly, I’ve definitely found myself boppin’ to some Bryson Tiller and 6lack, and I’m in no way blaming today’s musicians for how we treat one another. But fellas, could you imagine finding out your shorty slept around on you, just for her apology to include “it’s all that Sza I’ve been listening to lately!” Chill, lol. We’re grown. I’m 28. I have a home that I live in with the woman I call the love of my life, I have a job that pays for said home, I have things that I bring to said home that feed my woman, my kid and myself and I have a bed that I sleep in with said woman (sometimes the kid joins us, but that’s usually during a middle-of-the-day nap).

The point that I’m attempting to drive is that I’ve built a very sturdy foundation with a person. You may have noticed that I only mentioned tangible things; house, job, bed, groceries. I bring up those things first because, as a man, I hold an emotional attachment to the shit in my life that I share with the woman in my life. There’s no “hers and mine”. It’s ours. That house feels like an embrace from her, that bed smells like her, and she puts most of those groceries in the oven, lol. I’m so blessed to have this person, I’m blessed to have these things and if I were to succumb to the embrace and the scent of another woman, all my blessings would go away. All these things that God gave me would, not cease to exist but rather continue existing… Without me, in front of me, all because I couldn’t resist temptation? Fuck that.

Now I suppose I’ll get to the good stuff. The feelings. I can feel you guys saying “niggaaa, chill” lol. Don’t stop reading, fellas this is still for you (there’s a Call of Duty reference coming). My shorty and I are not yet married (workin’ on it), that’s where the importance of the job comes in, lol. But we know what we want and we know where we’re headed and so in the mean time, we try and walk the path as much as possible. We don’t just tell each other everything, we don’t just compromise on who should get to drive home from the restaurant when we’re both too tired to touch a steering wheel and why the fuck did we agree to go on this double date on a Wednesday night anyway, knowing that we have to be up for work in the morning? Sometimes I’m still a guy, which means sometimes I’m an idiot who doesn’t consider her feelings, but this relationship has allowed me to step outside of myself. It’s a gift when a person can change you in that way.

Coming from a man who had communication as his biggest weak point in the past, I’m happy to say that I’ve communicated more in this relationship than I have ever communicated in my life with anyone else. Sometimes even, SHE’S the one who needs to pick up the slack in that area (insert flex and milly rock). But the thing I admire most about us is our desire to find a solution to the problem, rather than dwell on who hurt who. I call that keeping score. When you’re in a relationship and your person hurts you and you hold on to it, and then you hurt her and she holds on to it, you’re no longer on the same team. It’s not co-op anymore, it’s versus. In a versus match, only one can emerge the victor. In co-op, you HAVE work together for the win. You have to know your partner and you have to pick up in fields that they lack and they have to do the same for you. But the dope thing about co-op is that there’s no time to keep score. If I accidentally shoot my partner, I gotta run over and heal her before the zombies get close enough to attack me too. In that case, we both lose (we play a lot of Black Ops: Zombies at my place). But I digress…

*Plays J. Cole “Love Yourz”* So my girl’s found a guy who can be man enough to say “oh shit, I was wrong for that, I’m sorry” and I’ve found a shorty who can be woman enough to say “I didn’t realize that hurts you, I won’t do it anymore”. My relationship sounds dope, right? I haven’t even scratched the surface (shoutout to God for the one time). But I said all of that to give you a real glimpse of the sturdy foundation I mentioned earlier. It’s not hard, it’s really just a decision at the end of the day. A vow before the vows, to give it what you have and hold up your half. So, if you’re reading this and you haven’t already found the person worthy enough for your co-op mission in life, just for a moment, imagine you have. Now imagine some saucy little twitch-in-her-step-insta-thot slides in your DMs. Maybe her ass is fatter, maybe her tits are bigger or maybe she’s just a plain ol’ freak with hella followers. After all you’ve been through with your Player 2, after all the levels you’ve been through and all the times you’ve had her back and she’s had yours, wouldn’t it be easier to just shoot that zombie bitch dead in the head, than to let her bite you and get infected? Lol, perhaps I’m driving the reference a little too hard.

I understand that there will always be men who cheat. I understand that there will always be women who cheat. I am no saint. I’ve been a revenge cheater before, but listen… Those people suck, especially the ones who keep it a secret for years and don’t apologize for it until after they’ve been caught. I’m not a blogger by any means, but I just had to get this out, and it all seemed to be too many words for a rap verse, lol. For the women who post “men ain’t shit” tweets and the male celebrities who always find a way to prove them right. For the people who truly believe that love is a fool’s game because in the long run, we all get screwed over in some way. And especially for the girl in a relationship with a faithful and monogamous man, but also who listens too intently to today’s music and watches too much Scandal to see that her life is not as insignificant as a television show or a line in a song, y'all only get half a bar: take a chill pill.

This message is really for the guy who spends all of his time loving only his s/o. If you’re one of those who sees a cute woman walking down the street and doesn’t feel a desire to run up and get her number. If you’re a guy who ignores and/or blocks those insta-thots who slide in his DMs because (they’re probably in 10 other DMs with a copy/pasted introduction and that’s how niggas get herpes but also cuz) there’s no way they could possibly compare to what you already have, all I can say to you, sir is keep going. If you’re a guy who knows what he wants in life, and you know how to truly appreciate what God has given you. Keep going. If you’ve built your foundation with the person you want to spend your life with and you’ve got no intention on fuckin’ up forever. Keep going. You’re a diamond in the rough, bro. You’re not a lame, somebody gotta show the youth and it might as well be us right? Continue shining and the blessings will rain down on you and yours as long as you stay true. You got it.

“And I hope that you stay blessed and highly favored, not stressed and highly labored”

- Chaunce

[nightswithkookmin]

Jikook and Taekook in The Soop: Ep 06 Analysis

PREFACE

This discussion is a continuation of my opinion piece on Soop episode 06. I explained in that post, how I think Soop was initiated by BigHit and BTS to repair and replenish the dwindling bond of the group as prior to Soop, there had been some friction between some of the members which could be traced as far back as November last year and had only increased exponentially through to March this year.

Now I said this without prejudice, and knowing full well there are a ton of content withheld from us in the present day likely to be released years from now that may reveal a moment, a behind scenes, that to others may seemingly counter this perception of mine.

But like my theory on the Jikook break up moments, I stay my ground. I don't draw my conclusions based on a single moment of tension happening in isolation because they are human- a jet lag here and a muscle pain there could lead to an unnecessary outburst here or there. That's not it.

I look for patterns, take into consideration their personalities, note how a moment impacts or is likely to impact those established values and patterns of behavior that BTS themselves consciously contribute to to influence their public image and reputation- I take this delulu business pretty seriously you know? Lol.

For instance, when I say Jikook broke up it's mostly because I've noticed that over a period of time, certain things that make Jikook a couple to me are no longer present between them, in the way they interact, rather than that there was a few seconds tension between them in random moment on screen.

And I am well aware, that when some people say they feel Jikook are broke up that they are basing their conclusions off of their own insecurities about them rather than that they have seen enough, thought through enough about those observations to reasonably draw such conclusions.

For example, because to them Jikook interactions is their evidence of a romantic relationship, then Jikook not interacting in a random moment would indicate to them that something is wrong and that they are broke up- basic delulus.

I employ a different metric. Not better, just different. For example, I used them not knowing certain things about themselves within certain periods as an indication something is off.

This is not a hard rule. It could be random but when the information they are in the dark about came into existence within a period I suspected they weren't a couple due to other things I had noticed within said period, then that becomes a confirmation of that period for me. Feel free to disagree.

Jikook know everything about eachother, EVERYTHING. Or at least, they act like they know or should know everything about eachother.

They love to be the ones to know eachother the most and love to show off their knowledge about eachother like in the recent Bangtan Bomb when JK said he knew Jimin could touch his toe when he stretched.

'See, I told you he could touch his toe.' he says with pride. Then the bit about Jimin and beans, Jimin and the convenience store underwear etc.

So when JK suddenly doesn't know Jimin took pop dancing or when Jimin acts surprised that JK had gimbap it raises an eye brow. No?

What's more concerning to me is their reaction to news like this. JK zoned out for a bit and Jimin looked confused out of his wits in those instances. You could tell its something that really bothered them.

And while this may be an isolated incident for most, it's usually not for me or even surprising to me. Because, as explained, usually moments like these fit into an established pattern of inconsistent behaviours identified within those specific timelines prior to such moments, from my observation.

And I see most people also don't know how Jikook looks like when they are not 'together.' Which is also part of the problem.

To most people, a Jikook break up would look like the apocalypse up in BTS- it's not.

I've said several times in my blogs, if you believe Jikook are real then pay attention to what they are and not what you expect them to be. Their relationship parameters are set by them not us and our ideosyncracies.

To me and the way I see them, a Jikook break up is and would always be a return to friendship.

When Jikook break up they revert back to being friends. Friendship is their default, in the group setting anyway.

And as I've said, they lose or strive away the qualities that make them a couple during break ups but at a bare minimum their friendship will be there- for the harmony of the group.

And I think this is why some Jikookers theorize that Jikook knew the consequences their relationship was going to have on the group before entering into their relationship.

While I disagree they thought things through before deciding to commit to a romantic relationship, I agree that they know and have considered the impact their relationship can have on their group.

It is why they revert and will revert to being friends during times like that so their break up and conflicts doesn't affect the dynamics of the group.

I think this is one thing they both very much understand and commit to, to make sure their shenanigans doesn't impact the dynamics of the group- they owe their bandmates that much.

It is also this understanding that allows them to thrive and hide within the group.

What all this means is that, in times of a break up, the skinship will very much be there, the wearing the same attire will be there, the wearing the same bracelets will be there, they will still ride together if they have to- because none of these is what make them a couple!

And a fight is not a breakup, mind you. Often when they fight, I find they may not want to be around each other among other things but they don't lose the qualities that make them a couple.

You can still see their couple aura in such times. Whereas in the case of a breakup those couple qualities disappear entirely. In my opinion.

Perhaps I should make a blog post on what I feel makes Jikook a couple and how those qualities disappear around the times they break up? I'll think about it.

I have stated over and over that, skinship, car sharing etc are all not in any way indicative of a romantic relationship, not to me anyway. And honestly, if you can't tell between Jikook as friends and jikook as a couple- do you even deserve rights? Consider your delulu membership revoked. Lol

And if you aren't observant, shy away from angst, see them as a fantasy rather than actual human beings in an actual romantic relationship- subject to change, subject to growth, susceptible to temptations; if you mistake things that make them friends for things that make them a couple you would not spot their break ups when they happen. Or worse, you'd dismiss and overlook them when they do happen.

Deadass, you could be very much looking at the end of Jikook but still screaming power couple extraordinaire-

Isn't that where we are with Taekook? People mistaking all the things that make them friends for a romantic couple?

People dismissing all the questionable moments that's happened between them over the years- like Tae saying he couldn't even tell JK had been given a mission to ignore him because Jk ignores him anyway behind cameras, Tae's passive aggressiveness towards JK like in the VLive he exposed Jikook, the missing birthday wishes on Twitter etc- and not reflecting on them enough to critically examine their impact and what it says of the state and nature of their relationship?

Taekook in the Soop is an indictment of the shipping community. But I am not here to police anyone's delusions- freedom of belief, speech and all that jazz.

What I am here to do today, my dear delulu colleagues, is to examine Taekook in the soop and share my thoughts on the infamous conversation they had in that episode.

I will also be pointing out a few observations I made about Jikook in that episode that I feel will help shed more lights on the current dynamics between Jikook which further proofs Jikook is real.

TAEKOOK IN THE SOOP

Taekook's conversation in Soop 06 is shaping out to be one of the most controversial moments in the history of BTS ships.

To some it was a doze of reality, a game changer, if you will and had some people questioning their sanity while others jumped off the Taekook bandwagon all together.

But some die hard fans of the ship were quick to come up with a theory to explain away what had transpired that night as big bad BigHit curating that entire scene in order to bamboozle them and absolve themselves of all guilt for having previously separated Taekook and forced them to hide their relationship- scammers never die. Lol

Why would Taekook have that conversation on camera if it was that serious, they ask.

If they aren't close why did JK put his hands around Tae here? Why did he look at Tae there? They fist bumped in the background of this MV, surely they are a couple- y'all know how I feel about skinship being used as a determinant of romantic relationships so I'm just gonna roll my eyes here and keep it pushing-

This is what happens when you whimsically and randamly label a ship as real without due diligence, without conducting the necessary tests that allows you to reasonably assume that that ship is or could be real.

A ship is not real until it's breached the fourth way into alternative shipping and I'm sorry, Taekook has not breached that fourth wall. No other ship in BTS has breached that wall except Jikook. I have explained this over and over again.

How can Taekook breach the fourth wall when half of the moments, half of the content needed to establish it's piercing moment exists in the imagination of people?

By claiming BigHit hides, and cuts Taekook moments or any other ships moment, by claiming Taekook's interactions are mostly off camera, these shippers are shooting themselves in the foot and fooling no one.

Because what they are indirectly saying basically is there aren't enough moments to analyze upon whose findings we can draw such conclusions that Taekook is real.

I have a hard time believing Jesus is real and I'm a Christian. You think I'm about to buy that Taekook is real, based on faith??? Y'all tripping.

And no. The skinship don't count either. I mean people were running around the corners of the internet swearing up and down Jimin and Mina were dating based on their skinship until it was revealed Jimin had been abusing Mina all those years.

Skinship is performative and not a reflection of true intimacy or true bond.

That being said, yes I see Taekook's relationship. I see their dynamics. They are beautiful and as a multishipper- I really dig their bond. I do.

I have called them the evil power duo of BTS. I have said they don't have much intimate interactions between them on camera but when they activate their evil powers, lord do they set my insides on fire.

WHY FILM THAT BIT ON CAMERA?

For quality entertainment purposes. Lol.

Soop is a quasi self produced production by BTS. As such they themselves created the content, concept, decided where they were going to be, what they were going to do at what time and most importantly who they were going to be with or hang out with.

Everything was pre determined by BTS and the schedule was presented to BigHit- the camera crew and staff, beforehand so the staff knew where to place cameras, what equipment they were going to use and what props they are going to have to provide for BTS for effective filming.

Unlike run or Bon V where BTS have little creative control, BTS played a major role in the production of SOOP. So if that bit was staged then it wasn't staged by BigHit, but by BTS themselves- including Tae and JK.

I explained in my previous post, how I felt Soop is business but also BigHit's way of shutting BTS in a room and forcing them to settle whatever differences had crept up between them that had been affecting the dynamics of the group and threatening the longevity of their group around that period.

I said it was no different from Rookie King where they had an episode where BTS was allowed to shout their grievances off the top of a roof to foster unity among the members.

It's also no different from the missions they've are given from time to time or the love letters they have been asked to write to eachother. The objective of such projects have always been to bring the members closer, to build intimacy and to foster unity amongst them. Soop follows suit.

What's of interest to me and what you should be pondering over is what had led them all- BTS and BigHit, to embark on a project of this nature this time around.

BigHit is a business and can only stay on top of the game for so long if BTS is in the game. Them disbanding impromptu due to petty conflicts and misunderstandings amongst them will be a huge loss to BigHit.

And if you think petty issues aren't enough to bring down their empire- you are in the wrong delulu industry. Lol.

Kpop is wrought with stories of these nature. There are a lot of bands that debuted with and around the time of BTS's debut that are disbanded now due to the least misunderstandings- google it. I dare you to.

BTS do have issues from time to time that does threaten their band. How often have we heard them talk about almost disbanding? Remember 2018? Remember when JK cried because Hobi almost left the group? Remember when JK almost left the group to pursue a career in dancing?

The Kpop industry is hectic and brutal and bands within this sphere are fragile. it's easy to jump ship than to keep sailing. I mean, there's a reason Korean interviewers keep asking BTS their secret to staying together and for this long.

As RM puts it in the recent KBS interview, they are seven boys from different backgrounds in the same boat headed in different directions. That can create a lot of clashes here and there. So when tensions arise that they can help it, they take initiatives like Soop to help nip it and replenish their bond.

They don't allow issues to fester on to the point they want to go their separate ways. BigHit loves this about them and encourages that among them.

Do y'all see why I side eye people who claim BigHit is not happy with any pair within the group because they are real and wants to hide and suppress them?

Left to BigHit alone, BTS would be in one big happy gay polyamorous relationship with eachother if that meant the success and longevity of their business- they are depending on it. They would rather BTS keep the love in the barn than spread it elsewhere, if you know what I mean.

How are BTS portrayed in Tiny Tan? The bond you see in that animation is not just a reflection of BTS's actual bond but also a reflection of BigHits vision of their bond.

Jimin is portrayed as that hyung who is always watching over JK because he loves him so much. Tae is also portrayed as the one hyung who will dive to save JK. Tiny Tan is BigHit's ideal intimacy goal for the boys.

Again, BT21, how are their friendships portrayed in there?

It's absurd thus to think, believe or even assume that if there is an actual real intimate relationship between any of the boys, that Bighit's objective would be to hide and suppress it or even to kill it.

BTS's intimacy is a currency BigHit transacts with. But that doesn't mean BTS doesn't bank on it too. They are proud of their bond, often flaunt it. They know it makes them stand out of the lot and it's what has led to them staying together for this long in the business. They have a pretty strong bond.

They wouldn't have agreed to do this project Soop if they didn't want to or didn't think they needed it. They really love eachother as a team, as a band; they love working together and care about their careers unlike other bands we know. Cough, cough.

They are the blueprint and they know it. The last thing they want is for something as trivial as a misunderstanding to break them apart- Hobi said in his recent YouTube live how BE is their voice and an expression of their feelings and I can't wait to hear all the songs on the Album to understand what they've been through these past few months.

If building intimacy is the objective of Soop, then conversations like that of Taekook really shouldn't be shocking. It's to be expected.

If they felt the need to talk it's because they felt they was something they both needed to get off their chest.

Is a content of that nature good for ratings? Absolutely. Does that mean they performed it? No. Not at all.

It's similar to what Jimin did with JK in Rookie King in order to get closer to each other. They were friends. You think he couldn't have just approached JK off camera and told him how his actions hurt him?

How often have we heard RM or Tae ask if the cameras were they to capture a moment where the members have claimed to have cried and consoled each other?

See this is why people think Jikook is fake. They just don't understand that these boys choose to share certain intimate moments with the us out of love, out of a need to connect and have people share in their moments.

It's no different from BTS filming themselves screaming when they heard of that BB news. They share their joy, their pain and their conflicts with us as a way to connect with us.

How often have we wished the VMin dumpling fight was recorded, or that the rain fight was recorded? But when such similar moment is recorded y'all want to question the intention behind it.

Besides, having conversations like these on camera is the perfect cover for them to be vulnerable with eachother without feeling too vulnerable or feel like they are exposing themselves too much.

It's similar to how people choose to text or be vulnerable with others through letters and texts rather than in person. Its the fear of vulnerability. Being vulnerable like that in person can be extremely scary for them too. They are human too and sometimes they find their confidence and their voice when they turn on the cameras.

It's ridiculous to think a moment is staged simply because it is or feels like an intimate moment- Y'all claim BigHit hides Taekook's intimate moments and when they show it to us and it's fake? Chileeee!

If that moment was staged, then Jin apologising to Tae after their fight is fake, the fight itself was staged, V's letters were staged, V crying when reading those letters was staged- y'all see where I'm going with this?

None of it was real and we've all been bamboozled- Let's pack our bags!

Seriously though, we can't sit behind our screens and pick and choose which content is real and which is not simply because it doesn't align with our delusional theories. It doesn't work that way.

Especially not when everything we see is captured by the same lenses, edited by the same people and distributed by the same company.

Besides, Tae said the reason he did that was just to spend time with JK- which was the objective of Soop, wasn't it? For all of them to spend time together and bond?

How then is Taekook bonding by having a meal together any different from Hobi spending time with NamJoon in the mountains? Or Tae riding around the country side with Hobi? Or RM and Kook painting?

I'm yet to figure out the sequence that the entire project was shot in as I still haven't seen the full episodes. But I'll bet if there were any Taekook bonding moments, they were shot after their heart to heart moment, not before it. Tae wouldn't have been shy to invite JK had it been so. But who knows, I could be wrong.

TAEKOOK vs JIKOOK DYNAMICS

On Taekook's dynamics, I stated during our discussion on their love language that I don't see Taekook as emotionally compatible or emotionally dependent on each other even much less that they speak each other's love languages. They don't.

It's no secret Taekook have always lacked a certain level of mutual emotional dependency and vulnerability within their dynamics. To me anyways.

Rarely would you see them being emotionally vulnerable with eachother the way Tae is with Jimin or Jk is with JM. The only time I have seen them close to being emotionally vulnerable with eachother was at an award show when Tae cried and JK comforted him. But even that felt impersonal-

again the thigh slapping, cheek squishing, pegs on the cheeks, cuddling in bed etc doesn't count. That's skinship and you know how I feel about skinship or what I think of it.

When I say emotional vulnerability and dependency, I'm talking about instances such as when Tae said he missed Jimin, when he had to drag Jk away so he could ride with Jimin, all the things he said about Jimin in his letters, the way he talks about Jimin in his solo Vlives, writing songs inspired by Jimin, when he said Jimin was the one member who had been there for him during his grandmother's passing etc.

Jk expresses his emotional dependency on Jimin through his actions more so than his words- that need he has to constantly be around Jimin. You see this in moments where he subconsciously finds his way to Jimin like the 2018 comeback VLIVE where he and jimin were put in separate teams but after picking their groups mission he headed for Jimin's team instead of his.

You see this in the way he talks about Jimin when Jimin is not around. He would find a way to chip Jimin into any conversation- I dare you; Talk about heaven and it would remind him of Angel Jimin, talk about hell and he will burst out laughing because of Jimin's devil may care attitude that one time.

You see it in moments when he sulks and yap, whines and complains in a submissive tone when he interacts with Jimin at certain times.

Like when he talked about Jimin not waking him up in that interview, or even the New Jersey Live where he whined and pouted like a broke hearted seven year old and Jimin ended up doing- whatever that was to placate him... that VLIVE still makes me uncomfortable to watch to this day.

You just don't see that level of emotional attachment in Taekook. Their interactions are just that- interactions. Frankly, this moment in Soop is the only meaningful conversation I've heard between them in years.

It is this lack of emotional intimacy between Taekook that disqualifies them from being anywhere near real in my books.

While I acknowledge this lack of emotion amongst them, I wouldn't go as far as to say there's been a cataclysmic decline of their bond or friendship. They are still very much friends, just not intimate friends. Skinship wise, sure. But there is no depth to skinship as I've said.

So if skinship isn't what binds them, what does? Personality, for starters. And I know JK saying he and Tae had different personalities sounded confusing to most.

Jk had called Tae his commonality- this Festa was it? He's described Tae in his profiles over years and in recent times as someone he shares the most personality traits with within the group. He is not wrong.

Personally, I see him as very similar to Tae, Suga and RM in different aspects of their personalities.

I think what he meant by his statement about Tae becoming reserved since their trainee days was that he doesn't find Tae relatable.

You can share the same personality trait with people and still not find them relatable. And I contrast this with his interview with Jimin where JM said he and JK were similar in that they are both sleepy heads and hate to lose.

Jk quickly noted that they both were studying Japanese as well. He acknowledged the similarities between him and Jimin here also. Does it mean he found Jimin relatable?

No.

Jimin said after they both acknowledged their similarities that in spite of this Jungkook didn't seem to like him. Clearly. he too like Tae was feeling a barrier in his relationship with JK.

Jk futher admitted he liked Jimin. So if he liked Jimin and had a lot in common with him what was the problem? Relatability. Jk could relate to JM just as he feels he can't relate with Tae now.

In that interview he described how JM was pretty serious minded who liked to focus on one thing at a time- a trait he said was different and as such perhaps he couldn't relate with.

Isn't it the same song he is singing about Tae now? That Tae is reserved and too serious like Jimin was?

The difference between Tae and Jimin is, over the years and especially in recent times the members have talked about how Jimin seems less serious behind camera. Suga even went ahead to give him an award for this- lol, Suga.

Jimin has changed over the years. He's become more goofy and to JK- more relatable.

Have we all not seen Tae gradually close himself off within the group dynamics? How is it hard to see that that could be something that's impacted his dynamics with JK?

I've already mentioned how Tae has been through a lot trauma enough to shut him off emotionally to anyone but Jimin.

Seeing his two besties coupled up too mustn't be easy either. Exclusivity is one of JK's values and love wants. Jimin's love language dictates you treat him exclusively, differently from others- while this is complementary for them, it very much often leaves them with a tendency for to isolate and exclude others- how do you feel watching them from home? Think that but twice Tae and these other members.

That exclusivity Jikook exudes can make anyone emotionally dependent and attached to any one of them feel left out. And for Tae, I see how he would then want JK to treat him as a friend- as he treats Jimin perhaps. He didn't want to feel left out. Similar to how I said Jimin partaked in the culture of the group in early days because he didn't want to feel like the outsider being the last to join the group.

Jikook's exclusivity tendencies have a way to make him feel further isolated and disconnected from the group.

What it then comes down to between Taekook is the difference in their values and their understanding of intimacy. I think.

I have said, JK is one person emotionally closed off within the group. He used to be physically closed of too and took a minute for him to come to terms with even skinship.

These boys may be from the same cultural backgrounds but they have different beliefs and values and upbringing.

I explained how JK had had to suppress himself, his values and his beliefs especially in the early days in order to be the Maknae of the group and how he's been on a journey to slowly yet drastically grow out of that role and image.

I have explained that even though he does not have a problem with Skinship, he believes couples aren't supposed to cross certain boundaries with others which I said is what jeonlous is mostly about.

So when he said during that conversation, he preferred to keep a certain level of distance from people because he felt that level of proximity could end up ruining relationships, I understood perfectly what he meant. I have always suspected and speculated that about him.

No one BangPD script writer-nim put that in his mouth.

Tae is the opposite of JK in that regard. While Jk is emotionally closed off, Tae is emotionally lose and latches on to people quite easily- aka his attachment to Jimin.

He is among the members of BTS who I think lack emotional boundaries in the group.

Being emotionally close to people and receiving that emotional nourishment is one of Tae's love languages as I've explained in the past. And so I smiled when I heard him talk about how he wanted to feel loved by Army.

Tae lowkey has an anxious insecure attachment style brought upon him by no fault of his in my opinion and I've always felt a similarity between his and jimin's attachment styles in that sense- that constant need for reassurance for one.

While I feel Jimin's anxiousness and need for reassurance is often performative and as such is often exaggerated as part of his idol persona- Jimin does not in reality need reassurace of love from his love interest.

He may appear clingy to some and a bit insecure about his looks, but he doesn't trade his looks for love.

His looks I feel are important to him as long as his career goes. And he tries to look a certain way and obsesses about the way he looks because his looks is a means to longevity and fruitfulness of his career.

His love language is more towards wanting certainty and stability and making him feel like he is the only one.

On the other hand, Tae's need for reassurance sits at the core of him. I don't think it is an exaggeration or a persona at all. In my opinion.

His need for reassurance is born out of an innate fear of losing a connection, a fear of not being loved and a fear of losing love- not to psychoanalyze him or anything. It's just theory.

I've said Tae strikes me as a very melancholic person.

Remember when he faked being an Army to see if an Army was a Solo stan who just loved one member or him also as well- that bit was unsettling and uncalled for. Then during his conversation with JK he talked about how he needed that constant reassurance of love from Army- y'all still think he boo-ed up in there? Alright then.

Loneliness is a bitch. And I understand how he would be driven by an emotional void to connect and attach to people. He really was attached to his Grandmother and having a love connection like that yanked away from him without warning, without proper closure can leave a void behind.

So I see often while he craves to connect he often self sabotages that connection- he does this with Jimin at times, boy can he work Jimin's nerves!

It takes a big heart and a lot of patience to love a person of this nature- and there's only one Jimin in that VMinKook dynamics.

Jk is not good at emotions, can barely work his way through his own much less nurture someone with complex emotions such as that of Tae.

Tae has been working through a lot. Trying to be better. Taekook is just a casualty of Jikook...

I keep saying these boys are human and ought to be viewed, thought of and treated as such. If you want to ship them as characters within the Kpop verse then do that. But don't breach the fourth wall and still think of them as fictional beings.

If any ship is real, then their real lives are bound to affect their dynamics, their desires and influence their needs. It's crazy to turn a blind eye to all of that while uWu-ing your ass off at every cute moment edited and shared to you.

Comparing Tae to JK, JK to me barely expresses a need for emotional attachment to anyone. He is similar to Suga in that sense. It's easier to see who he is emotionally attached to and attracted to than to see his overt expressions emotions.

When you look at all seven you see who JK is emotionally attached to based on how he act around and towards that person. He shows, he doesn't tell. In my opinion.

Tae asking JK to treat him as a friend rather than as a hyung thus to me was his way of asking to JK to connect emotionally. That doesn't mean they weren't close. They were, just not as close as Tae wanted to be.

This is what I meant when I said both him and jimin had tried to break down JK's walls in their early dynamics around debut.

Jimin's approach was to breach JK's physical boundaries but in so doing he had accidentally breached Jk's emotional walls as I've explained in previous posts.

I stated how I felt, perhaps, JM coveted that physical connection between Tae and JK at the time he joined BTS, but it's occurring to me Tae equally perhaps coveted Jikooks emotional connection; asking JK to treat him as a friend- as he treats Jimin?

Now I don't know if that conversation was had before Jimin joined BTS or after so I won't push it.

Regardless, it seems JK putting up those emotional walls with him had led to Tar harboring resentments towards JK- typical of people with passive aggressive tendencies.

Sort of explains all those weird TaegiKook dynamics in the early days of Tae trying so hard to do things to make JK jealous- Do y'all see why I disregard anything that happened between all the members before 2016?

I feel because Tae was young at the time, he didn't have the emotional maturity at the time to deal with a situation like that and coupled with his passive aggressive personality, resentment was bound to build up between them.

This resentment showed itself through his passive aggressive attitudes towards JK- Jimin wants to come, JK is stopping him, then that slight head tilt. Oh, you were given a mission to ignore me? I didn't notice, you ignore me off cam anyway followed by that attitude whatever it was.

In turn, I feel JK along the way started to build similar resentments towards Tae too as response to Tae's coldness and I see how to him Tae would be the problem- to him Tae is the one who had changed and grown distant, reserved in their dynamic- unrelatable.

I feel JK's grudge against Tae leading up to Soop however was because he felt his partner in crime had stabbed him in the back- get out of your imagination. That's not what I'm referring to. Lol. I'll explain in a bit.

But yes, this resentment I feel they were both harboring could probably had further complicated their dynamic and got in their way of achieving true intimacy beyond the skinship- when I tell you skinship is not an indication of intimacy.

You could see this in the way they both were very defensive in their conversation. Whatever had happened, JK had extended an olive branch to have Tae to sit and have drinks with him but Tae had brushed it off.

After this, he's shy to approach Jk to ask him to have a meal with him- Where did it all go wrong, they asked- twelve year olds, that's what they are. Lol.

There was a certain degree of lack of vulnerability in the way they expressed themselves with each other especially on JK's part which I feel leads people to conclude that their conversation was somewhat coerced- It wasn't in my opinion.

I have explained when I was talking about their love languages how I feel Tae in general is very headstrong, almost as strong headed as JK which I feel it's one of the things that gets in their way of achieving true intimacy and I feel that is what we were seeing in that moment during conversation.

I've explained intimacy, true intimacy requires a crucification of pride and a sacrifice of ego without which any intimacy would be superficial. I used VMin's dumpling fight as an example, where I said it took 2 days to two weeks for them to resolve their issue because they were both being strong headed.

It took Jimin's vulnerability and a sacrifice of his ego to reach through to Tae and even that took how long? And this is Jimin, the half blood Hufflepuff, president of the kumbaya fanclub we're talking about-

Y'all think Mr. Let it burn, I'll rather be dead than cool is about to let shit go? - Get some education. It's not in his vocabulary. It's not in either of them's vocabulary. Lol.

While I see these two as both unwilling to bow and submit to eachother, I've see them willfully submit emotionally to Jimin. Where they both fail to be vulnerable with eachother they both eagerly let themselves be vulnerable in this way with Jimin.

So it's not as if they are incapable of being vulnerable with eachother. If Tae's narration of his offer of friendship to JK is anything to go by, it seems he at one point was willing to take the steps to build that level of intimacy needed for their friendship to thrive but JK had barred him.

Tae in wanting to be close with JK the way he(Tae) is close with JM spoke volumes about Vmin dynamics as well. It tell me he doesn't see his bond with Jimin as exclusive. Special, but not exclusive- and we know how both Jimin and JK feel about exclusivity.

Which brings me to JK's perception about VMin.

I don't think JK see's Vmin's friendship as problematic. He just see's their lack of emotional boundaries as problematic and so often you see him try to put up boundaries for Jimin in their dynamic.

To Tae emotional connection is important and an indication of intimacy. That's his love language, that's his value. But how is JK going to open himself up like that to Tae when he sees what Tae and JM have as problematic? When he values and believes emotional connection has to be reserved for an intimate partner?

As explained earlier, exclusivity is a huge deal to JK.

He believes somethings ought to be reserved and exclusive to love relationships. He believed it then, he believes it now and he has consistently lived that belief through his actions throughout the years.

And if this is his values, then imagine his frustration at seeing people cross all sorts of boundaries with his man everywhere he turns- its enough to give anyone a complex, seriously.

When Tae explained that JK refusing to treat him casually as a friend was part of the reason they couldn't be as intimate, JK was quick to point out why he made that decision all those years and from the looks of it he ain't changing his mind anytime soon.

Dude literally said- I said what I said.

JK believes to make his intimate relationship special and to protect the sanctity of it, he ought to put up walls not further indulge in and perpetuate the lack of emotional boundaries within the group.

In this regard, Taekook is a casualty of Jikook, nothing personal. I've said, a real relationship involving JK or Jimin within the group is mutually exclusive to any other ship involving those two. As such all those other ships involving those two are bound to be casualties of Jikook.

In as much as BTS have thrived as a group on the lack of boundaries between them, this lack of boundaries was also ruining some of the members' joy especially JK who believes a certain level of boundary is necessary for a healthy relationship- Soop was very much neccessary.

And I see some Jikookers are claiming, Taekook settled their differences and had that conversation perhaps for Jimin's sake? Chileee- it makes sense if you are looking at things in isolation? But...

I mean Jikook have been dating a long time- six years now, for Taekook to be only now considering the effect of their dynamics on Jimin. If Jimin is whom they were concerned about they would have nipped it in the bud a long time ago especially around the time Jimin was having a tough time in his life. In my opinion.

I acknowledge the role Jimin played in bringing those two together and even believe he is the one that influenced them to take the initiatives they both took separately but no. I don't think they did this for Jimin. They did this for themselves first of all and for the sake of the sake of their careers, and the group.

[Image below. Check end of post if it's missing. Tumblr, Sigh]

I know some people have theorized that JK posted this on Weverse after his live because he was eager to do his next live with Jimin- true, but not only that.

The tension in that live was there but it wasn't there because he was uncomfortable with Tae per se. He has had a live with Tae in the past, has filmed with staff around and so Jeon Jungkook really had no excuse now did he?

Then the shade he threw, I shouldn't try to make anything next time- then proceeds to make gimbap with Jimin in their live while cheesing through it.

I feel his statement about making things was a Jab at BigHit. I told you previously how I felt he didn't want to do the live. That neither he nor Tar wanted to do the live hence BigHit's results to coercion. In my opinion.

BigHit at the time, it seems, was making them do these weird PG13 arts and craft thingy during their heavily monitored lives- it was weird as fuck especially for the audience that have grown used their VLives being a way for them to have intimate moments and conversations with BTS- I dipped out of most of those VLives. Deuces.

Homeboy was protesting because he just wanted to, first of all, have a Vlive alone with Jimin because they hadn't had one in a while- he deadass wanted to sit and stare into JM's soul while the rest of us watched on in silent discomfort and miserable loneliness while we thirdwheeled- This man, I swear to God!

But he also wanted to fight for their right to as a group to do whatever they wanted with little control and interference from BigHit- Independence really is recurring theme in JK's dramas. Lol.

After JK posted those rebellious tweets to out BigHit, Tae followed those tweets with a tweet akin to hold your peace followed by the shush emoji.

On its own it doesn't mean much. But read together with JK's post and the background I've given, it takes on a whole new meaning.

This moment to me was one of those evil twin power activation moments. Tae seemed to be with JK on that, in his own passive aggressive manner.

I talked about how social media was one of the tools they use to fight back against BigHit. Especially, by withholding their presence on social media platforms.

The company needs them to be online, interacting with fans and growing their fanbase. I hear some Idols, not BTs, are allegedly forced to appear on VLives even and social media even.

Yet BTS do that pro bono. So when they feel the company is tripping they exercise their rights to remain off the internet.

So imagine my surprise when Tae was suddenly popping up on Weverse, Vlive, YouTube live left right left!

I was surprised not because it was unusual of him, but because I felt that was contrary to the move he had made in support of JK earlier.

Do I think it is probably one of the immediate causes of the heat between Taekook that they needed to address? Probably.

I mean why else would Tae bring up him spending so much time online in his conversation with JK? How is that a way to bond with JK? Unless, perhaps JK had been pissed he did that and so Tae felt he needed to explain why he did that? Don't mind me. I'm delusional- but deadass.

Now a chunk of that conversation was voiced over so we will never know everything about that moment. And I hope, in the future they both talk about this and give us more details about this.

Both Jk and Tae have had issues with BigHit in the past and when they do they aren't afraid to come at BigHit with direct or passive aggressiveness.

Did y'all see ILand? How Tae took a jab at Bang PD over chicken breasts? How in Rookie King he expressed his resentment at BangPD for not knowing his name?

They are both expressive, assertive and less of a pushover in that way, I feel. They will put up the you can force the horse to the river side but can't force it to drink attitude if pushed against their will.

OTHER THINGS I NOTICED IN SOOP

I mentioned in my previous post how Jikook have been asserting themselves against eachother.

By that I meant, JK has been pushing JM to put up boundaries, treat their relationship with the same level of seriousness he does and not act like an ass kisser within the group all the time- bless him.

Jk used to be that guy who tried to please everyone. He would sacrifice his own happiness if that meant the happiness and harmony of the group. He is very Kumbaya in that way.

While this is noble, often he ended up stepping on JK's happiness because sacrificing his happiness is sacrificing Jk's happiness.

Him being the decision maker in their dynamics, that often means he ends up sacrificing JK's happiness without JK's permission.

To JK, JM would always come first. But Jimin is a bit of a people pleaser. He would consider the effect putting JK first would have on the group before placing him first- lately that has changed.

I feel Jk has been pushing him to careless about people's opinions of him and their relationship- please listen to the lyrics of GCF Helsinki to see what I mean especially whenever Jimin comes on the screen for the longest bar.

Just as much as JK has been pushing JM, JM has equally been pushing JK to be mindful of his possessiveness. While I see Jimin as someone who likes to belong, I don't think he wants to be owned.

So you see him pushing Jk to be social, to spend time with others- fix his issues with Tae for example, read books etc.

I hinted at this dynamic when I talked about Jikook shading eachother. Please check it out.

JK's always asserted himself and wanted to assert himself in the group dynamics and he has always expected that of Jimin as well.

It's no surprising then to see Jimin say no to Tae when Tae asked him to go on a car ride with him and Hobi in Soop episode 06. Old Jimin would have run along, no questions asked.

Jikook have changed. Their relationship dynamic has changed, their individual personalities have changed- are changing and they are changing eachother as well.

It explains why to JK Jimin feels more relatable as we've talked about above. They are changing but are also changing for eachother.

Some of these changes are glaringly obvious, others are subtle and easy to miss if you blink.

For example, Vmin's interaction mentioned above. Notice how Jimin is the outdoor kind of guy but in this instance he chose to stay indoors? Outdoors activities are his thing, indoors activities are JK's thing.

Do you see how Jk is influencing him?

He not only chose the indoors, he also chose an indoors activity that had JK written all over. How should I put this, painting, craft, drawing- those are ravenclaw traits not halfbood hufflepuffs' traits. Know what I mean?

True, Jimin loves these activities too but when you think of him traveling all over the world during their vacation- something I said was a cause of misunderstanding between them in August last year, you'd understand what I mean by JK asserting himself against Jimin.

They are compromising, they are negotiating, they are each embracing aspects of their personalities and accommodating it- you call it domesticity, I call it the aftermath of a trail period in Jikook's journey.

There are a lot other observations I made but this is all the length Tumblr can permit. Love Jikook and Support them.

Signed,

GOLDY