#also like yeah obviously I knew where men out the penis in another man as a kid. there’s only one hole it’s not rocket science

[transmasc-malleus]

remembering when my grandma tried to scare me off about gay ppl as a kid by going “do you know where they put their genitals for sex? It’s disgusting!” 1) yes I came to that conclusion naturally the minute I picked up my first science book that showed straight sex. 2) why are you saying this to me as if I have a penis. Do you not know how lesbians have sex.

[griffelkinn]

All the Transwomen I Met

I've felt the need to write this and share it, for a few years.

About 5 years ago, I moved to San Francisco. I didn't know anyone in the entire state, so I spent a lot of time and effort meeting new people, and going to social events, and accepting invitations from most everybody who invited me to anything. I met a ton of people.

When I moved out there, I didn't really know anything at all about transgender people. I was told about that idea pretty quick once I got there. I thought it was really great that people were comfortable being themselves. The idea that men who enjoyed wearing stereotypically "women's" clothes, were becoming more comfortable doing that. And the idea that men were rejecting stereotypes of men that were forced onto them from childhood, so they could be themselves without shame. And the reverse... women rejecting uncomfortable stereotypes of women so they could be happy. It was an exciting idea that if more and more people started doing this, it would become more and more obvious that none of the stereotypes about what women are like and men are like are actually real. Sexism would be almost completely done away with!

I wish that was what happened. I was really excited to see it happen.

But that isn't what happened. Something bad happened.

In San Francisco, there were a LOT of transwomen. And so while I was meeting all of those people, and doing all that socializing, I ended up meeting and becoming acquaintances with a lot of transwomen. I have written a brief description of literally every single transwoman who I became friends with or got to know at all. I left none out. There are nine. I have felt like this was very important for me to share.

The first transwoman (man who likes to be called a woman) I knew, rubbed his penis on me when he thought I was sleeping. This was shortly after I told him I didn't return his romantic feelings for me, which I had told him many times already.

That same man had previously told me that he'd spent most of his young adult life pressuring girls to have sex with him.

The second transwoman I knew, became enraged when I casually commented on sexism in commercials. I thought what I said would be met with obvious agreement. I hadn't known many transwomen yet, and I thought that they would understand sexism and feminism a little more than men on average do. I learned that I was very wrong. I'd commented on how a string of commercials we watched featured men speaking with intelligence, confidence, and authority, and they featured women speaking in forced baby voices, sounding insecure, dumb, giggly, and weak.

This man advanced on me physically to where I was sitting, with another angry transwoman, very loud and mad, and was very upset with my comment. He said women like talking like that, and also their vocal cords physically are only able to talk like that. Then he said my comment could be compared to women who really want to wear high heels to work, but people don't let them. Which is obviously ridiculous, because that is exactly the opposite of reality... women are being forced by their workplaces to wear high heels, which most women hate and which injure feet. That is still a sexist reality in many places that women are fighting to end. He was somehow saying I was like the fantasy people who don't let these fantasy women wear high heels to work, because of my comment.

This same man told me that he was really respected in China, which is where he was born, because he's a woman and in China women are dominant and considered superior to men. That is true, isn't it. Yes, very accurate. Not at all incorrect or literally opposite of reality.

The third transwoman I knew got upset with me at Halloween season, when I commented that women should be offered normal costumes just like men are, rather than only "sexy" versions of costumes in most places. There should be the same options for girls and boys, and women and men. He immediately disagreed and would only repeat that "Women like wearing sexy costumes!" I repeated that girls and boys should both be offered normal costumes, and obviously if anyone, man or woman, wanted to wear a "sexy" version of a costume they should wear whatever they want. He still disagreed. He said that "women have very little opportunity to dress femininely and sexy, and Halloween is a chance they can do it." I explained that was the opposite of reality. Women have tons of times when they are allowed, encouraged, and pushed to dress femininely and "sexy". That includes work, after work, weekends, and... all other times I would say. I'm pretty sure he was thinking of men, for whom his comment would have been accurate.

That same man got very angry when I said women were made to feel they have to wear makeup, and that is bad. He became very angry. Not just a little. Very angry. He kept saying (angrily) "Women like wearing makeup!"

That same man told me he was a pedophile, and had to keep himself away from children.

That same man told me that "sexism is good for some women".

That same man supported Gamergate. That same man told me that the separation of women's and men's sports are not at all related to people's biological sex, and that men who want to be called women should compete in women's sports.

That same man told me that sexism doesn't exist at all in America, and people are treated exactly the same their whole lives whether they're female or male. (I know, it contradicts his other statement that "sexism is good for some women"). I said that I had a lifetime of many many instances where I experienced sexism. From when I was very little until the present. He mockingly told me to name just one. I was so horrified that he honestly thought I would be unable to think of a single experience of sexism, and that he was mocking me about it, that I told him that it would demean me to answer to his demand of one example. It would obviously be lowering myself too far.

That same man told me that sexism in countries outside America don't have any effect on me.

The fourth transwoman I knew, I saw a movie with. It was good, but I noticed some very obvious sexism in the portrayal of female characters and male characters, which I later learned most everybody noticed. And while most everybody including me agreed it was a great movie, the extreme sexism was obvious. After the movie I said so, how I loved it - but it was very sexist in these examples. And this man started insulting me and being very annoyed. He said venomously that the portrayals of female and male characters was "realistic", and then just as venomously asked me "What are you, a FEMinist?" Clearly he felt the only acceptable view of feminists is to hate them. Somehow he expected me to want to insist to him that I wasn't a feminist. Obviously I loudly said "Yeah. I am a feminist. Aren't you a feminist?"

I never saw him again. We had been casual friends for a few months, but apparently that interaction made us both lose the desire to try and meet up again.

That same man, weeks previously at a fast food joint, told me ever since he started taking estrogen that he's become extremely physically weak. He was grinning while describing to me how wonderfully weak he was, and clearly that was an idea that made him very happy. A personal fantasy. He said how now his arms are so weak, he can barely throw a frisbee! I asked him to arm wrestle and he beat me with no effort in one second. I'd assumed that would happen.

The fifth transwoman I knew, was a very nice person. He was kind, and fun, and not a misogynist, and didn't get angry if anyone criticized anything sexist. He also didn't mind going into men's public bathrooms. I really liked him. We were friends.

The sixth transwoman I knew was over six feet tall, and had a fantasy that men would rape him. He would only ever dress in cartoonishly sexual stripper-style outfits. He described multiple times to me how he was worried that men would rape him when he walked around in public. In a voice and level of description that made it obvious this was his personal sexual fantasy. He suggested that he and I are both equally in danger from sexual assault. I'm 5'1 and just trying to live my life. He was over 6 feet and that was his sexual fantasy. We were very different in our experiences of the threat of sexual assault.

The seventh transwoman I knew, I went to the movies with and he put his hand in my crotch area. I said "WHOA I am not comfortable with that." And I physically took his arm and returned it to his own seat. He immediately put his arm around my neck and shoulders and said in an annoyed whiny voice "Well can I at least do this?" And I had to say no again. We barely knew each other, and were not at all romantic. I had zero romantic thought of him. He clearly didn't care or consider if I did or not. It didn't affect his feelings that he should be allowed to do things like that for his pleasure.

The eighth transwoman I knew was over six feet tall and white. He came up to me suddenly and told me that he is twice as oppressed as me, because he has sexism, as a woman, like I do, and he also has "transmisogyny". I was so shocked that he would say he experiences sexism like women that I was speechless. Obviously he was a man and so he did not. He was also gigantic. I don't really know why he wanted to come up to me and tell me that he had "twice as much oppression as me". After he said it he just kind of looked at me waiting to see what I would say. That was the first instance I learned about the "oppression olympics". I had never used the word "oppression" before and very rarely heard it used in person. But I was disgusted by his competitive declaration of victimhood. Since then, of course the word "oppression" has become extremely popularly used in conversation, and that's usually a good thing, but there is definitely this unsavory world of people like him who build their identities around having the "most" oppression, like an impressive commodity, who have no basis in reality.

That same man, after my lack of response, then told me that he also doesn't have white privilege because he grew up poor.

That same man told me that he'd spent much of his life pressuring women to have sex with him.

The ninth transwoman I knew, told me he would only ever date women who shave their bodies. I know that men have no idea the level of pain and insecurity that teenage girls go through because of the forced shaving culture, so I gave him a break and replied with a kind of friendly comment that even though shaving their bodies for women is an extremely torturous social norm, everyone has preferences about their romantic partners and that's fine. Though I felt like that particular preference is specifically a preference for women suffering an unhealthy lifelong ritual born completely out of insecurity. I figured I'd just write this guy off, and there was no point in saying so. But I couldn't help poking the misogynist bear a little. He was trying to get me to hang out with him. So I asked if he just won't have a relationship with a woman who doesn't shave her body, or if he can't even stand to see them at all in any setting. Because it was summer and I love going to the beach in shorts, and I needed to know if I shouldn't invite him to to beach. I actually thought I was being funny and that he would know that, but he answered seriously that he "would feel grossed out if he looked at me." Imagine one person feeling comfortable telling someone that they would feel grossed out to look at you. That man sure felt comfortable saying it to me.

I have also known some transmen. They are usually very kind, thoughtful people. I have known some very closely for years before they decided to be transmen. Most of them, years after that decision, still fight internally against the feeling that they have to wear makeup every day or else be ugly and worthless. Most of them still mentally fight to nurture any sense of self-confidence to speak their opinions, or take up space in a group as a full person, who deserves as much free immediate respect as any other.

Those are things that women experience.

Almost all transwomen are now saying that they are not men breaking social expectations. They are women. And women are sexist stereotypes.

Men breaking social expectations would deserve respect and props for being themselves despite social pressure. That would be a cool move. But they are instead insulting women, supporting sexist stereotypes religiously, closing down women's shelters, women's rape trauma centers, and women's festivals. They are taking women's government positions, women's scholarships, and women's awards.

**CONTENT WARNING for below **

Transwomen have made it so now any and all men are allowed to go into women's bathrooms, women's changing rooms, and women's shelters. And MANY of them have been raping and murdering children and women. They've been kidnapping, videotaping, and sexually harassing women and children.

There are many myths that transgender activists send around social networking sites. There's one that is very popularly shared that says transwomen in America are in danger of being murdered. That is a lie. White transwomen in America are less likely to be murdered than white men who don't identify as a transwomen.

Even if they were in danger, that would be a separate issue from women completely, and they would deserve their own safe places to be and escape violence. They should not take away all resources to help women, and allow all men into women's changing rooms and bathrooms and prisons.

I'm pretty sure most people know that women are not allowed to talk about this. We are not allowed to speak our discomfort. If a woman says she is uncomfortable with any of that, transwomen (men) bombard her with rape threats, very descriptive rape threats involving their own penises. They also do this to any lesbian who says lesbians don't want to have sex with penises. Any woman who is a feminist. Any woman who wouldn't even call herself a feminist because that word takes a lot of courage to use, but who still speaks of helping women and ending sexist beliefs, or describes reality without pandering to make these men feel good.

I used to think the transgender social movement would bring us all leaps and bounds into a brighter future, but I really think it has dragged us all back far in time and rolled back women's rights and safety and respect many decades into the past. I used to think all those violent women-hating transwomen were just the rare bad apple, and most are good people who don't want to hurt women. But that list of transwomen that I described is every single one I've known in person. 8 out of 9 were extreme examples of the most misogynist of men. My experiences have made me wary now, and I can barely even picture in my imagination a transwoman saying the words "It's impossible to feel like a woman", or "Women deserve to be allowed to get together and talk about women's issues".

The misogynist slur TERF means: Dyke. Feminazi. Cunt. They all know this.

It pains me to see women being caught up in this social movement, clearly just trying to be polite and "politically correct", or seeking male approval. Most of them are insecure. I understand. But I wish they would speak up and be honest about the truth, and not just do whatever these men tell them they must do and say to avoid being called a TERF.

[anna-lupin-black]

I know I don’t write/post Smut on this account, especially not one that doesn’t involve Harry Potter characters, but whilst watching 13 Reasons Why; my love for Tony Padilla has corrupted me

A Rare Exception - Tony Padilla X Female Reader

Tony’s best friend finds herself falling for him. Little does she know his one exception for loving women just so happens to be her.

Written for a friend

Warning: SMUT, F/M Smut, Dom/Sub undertones

A/N: I do not ever agree with LGBT Erasure, but I do also acknowledge that Sexuality is a Spectrum; and there are Gay Men who do fall in love with women, it doesn’t make them any less gay, just as there are straight people who can fall in love with someone of the same gender as them, it doesn’t make them any less straight. This was a request I was given and will not read any hate on the subject. Constructive criticism is always welcome as long is it’s meant with the best intentions.

“[Y/N], get in the car.”

I turn around from talking to my best friend Alex; a boy with blonde hair who’s dark roots are already showing after having bleached it merely a month beforehand. Alex is thin, with deep blue eyes and an easy enough going personality. We’ve been friends since I transfered to Liberty High last fall.

The voice came from my friend, Tony. If I were to say I didn’t find him attractive, I’d be a bigger liar than anyone in this school; and if you know anything about the students in Liberty High, you’d know that was saying something. Tony has beautiful olive toned skin, carmel brown eyes, stylishly messy brown hair, a body of a machanic; because he is one, and tattoos that make him even more interesting than he already is. His eyes show a maturity well beyond our years, and his calm and level head is always welcome in our hot headed friend group.

The downside, he’s gay... and I’m a chick. So, definitely not his type at all.

“Tony, I’m supposed to go to the gym with Alex and Zach tonight... I told you that earlier when you asked if I had plans today?” I’ve been having a hard time being alone with Tony now that I’ve begun developing feelings for the Latino Machanic who stole my heart with how kind and selfless he is. We used to spend hours in his garage, I’d chat while he worked on cars for his Papá.

“We weren’t go-“ I elbow Alex in the ribs and shoot him a glare that plainly states for him to shut the hell up before I make him. It seems to work perfectly as he sighs and corrects himself by adding, “Oh, right. That was today, I must have forgot, brain damage and all.”

I roll my eyes as I turn back to Tony, “Ignore him, he’s an idiot.”

“Hey,” I shoot Alex another look and he just sighs.

“Where’s Dempsey?” Tony asks, pointedly.

I know my face shows a sudden look of uncertainty as I turn back to Alex, “Yeah... wh-where is Zach?”

Alex very obviously gives me the You Owe Me eyes before explaining, “He’s meeting us there.”

Tony raises an eyebrow at us, and I think we would have gotten away with our story if Alex’s dad; a man who looks alarmingly like the man who plays Lucifer from that TV Series, Supernatural, hadn’t pulled up rolled the window down and asked, “Ready to go to your follow up with the Doctor, Kid.”

Alex shrugs an apology at me before getting in the front seat saying, “Yeah, Dad.”

“Hey, [Y/N]. Do you need a ride home, its on the way?”

“No, Sir. I’m taking [Y/N] home today.” Tony speaks up. I hadn’t noticed him getting out of his car abd jump at rhe proximity of his voice. He’s now stood right beside me.

Deputy Standall eyes me and Tony for a moment before asking, “You alright, [Y/N]?”

I glance at Tony trying to ignore the heat his body’s giving off before faking a smile for Alex’s dad and saying, “Yeah, Tony’s an old friend of mine, he helped fix my mom’s car when we first got to town. I’m good.”

“If your sure.?”

I nod, “I am, thank you though. Say hello to Mrs. standall for me.”

“Will do.”

When they drive off Tony let’s the silence drag on a minute too long before he speaks up, “So you lied to me?” I look up at him, and my stomach clenches painfully at the obvious look of hurt on his angular face.

“Tony-“

“If you don’t want to spend time with me, tell me. Don’t fucking lie about it.” His voice is laced with the anger he keeps very well under wraps most of the time.

“It’s not that, it-“

“Then what is it? Because you’ve been avoiding me. Spending a lot of time with Standall, too.” He pulls a look of disgust before adding, “Unless you’ve been lying about that.”

“No, I really have been spending a lot of time with Alex and Zach at the gym, you can ask Caleb.” I will admit, I’d hoped that bringing up Tony’s boyfriend would soften his expression even if only a little, but it seems to harden his expression even more, his eyes turning icy.

“Caleb and I broke up. You’d have known that if you hadn’t been dodging me all month. Por el amor de Dios.”

“Tony... you know I don’t speak Spanish...”

He shoots me a glare so I close my mouth. “We’re supposed to be friends. I’ve been a good friend.”

“I know... you’ve been a great friend! I just- I’m sorry. About not being around as much. About Caleb... I’m sorry for it all.”

“Great. Fantastic.” He huffs out a breath.

“I’m... free now...” I say, hesitantly.

“What, no imaginary gym sessions anymore? You aren’t going to try and tell me that you and Dempsey are still supposed to meet at the gym?”

I give him an apologetic look and repeat, “I’m sorry I lied, Tony... I really am. “

“Get in the car, we can talk after we go to the diner.”

I give him a questioning look so he shrugs and says, “Primero comemos, luego hacemos todo lo demás.”

“Still don’t speak Spanish.” I mutter as we get into his cherry red mustang.

“First we eat, then we do everything else.” Tony explains, putting his keys into his car and starting it up before shifting his stick into drive and off we go.

“Oh...” I reply, lamely.

Once we finish eating, Tony clasps his hands in front if him and leans forward slightly onto the table between us and says, “So, are you going to tell me what’s been up with you?”

I bite my lip, not really sure what to tell him.

I’ve fallen for you, but your gay so just ignore me?

I have a crush on you, but know you’d never feel the same, so it’s whatever?

Or how about; I love you, go ahead and run out of my life because I; of course, do not have a penis.

“Just talk to me, [Y/N].”

I shake my head a little, looking down at the pattern in the wood of the table between us, “I can’t...” I admit, softly. I’m not even sure he can hear me.

“Okay, I’ll talk. Do you know why I broke up with Caleb?” I glance at him briefly, seeing an almost vulnerability in his eyes before my sight is back on the very interesting wooden table. I shake my head, my throat becoming too dry to speak.

“It’s because in all my life of liking men. I’ve somehow developed feelings for a girl.”

That surprises me, and I look at him, knowing my eyes are wide as an owls. “Oh...” I respond, softly. My mind reeling.

“Do you want to know who she is?” He asks, pointedly.

I shake my head, “I’m pretty sure I’d rather not...”

“Why is that?” He asks, his tone giving nothing of what’s going on in his mind away.

I look up at him, and realize I wasn’t imagining the vulnerable look in his eyes, the only sign he is slightly uncomfortable with this conversation.

“I guess I just don’t understand why you aren’t just telling her.”

“Cabrona.” He mutters and I sigh, frustrated.

“Cabrona what? I don’t know her,” I respond, my tone much harsher than I’d intended it to be.

I can’t help but feel the green monster we all know way too well as jealousy, Tony being attracted to someone else. A girl no less. Cabrona... she sounds French. I bet she has a perfect tan; one I’d never be able to manage. She’s probably as thin as a supermodel to top it off, bet she has blue eyes and her black hair that shines like only black hair can.

He smirks, a hint of humor now appearing in those nervous eyes, “Cabrona isn’t a girl’s name. I called you a dumbass. “

I’m taken a back by that. “What? Why?” I ask, incredulously.

“Because at certain times you are as clueless as Clay.”

I go to respond, but find no response willingly coming to me. Instead I just stare at him, my mouth more open then I’d particularly like it to be. I probably looked like a dumbass at this time if I’m being honest with myself.

“Do I honestly have to spell it out for you?”

“No,” I lie, irritated. He’s treating me like he does Clay. And I do not approve of it.

“It’s you, Mujer Loca.”

“You did not just call me crazy- wait... what did you just say..?” I feel all the color in my body heating up my cheeks as I register more than the word Loca, the Spanish word for crazy; one of the only words I actually can understand.

“It’s you.” He’s looking into my eyes, and I’d assume he was confident and sure of himself as he confesses what he seems to feel the need too; but his eyes give his anxiety away, and it melts my heart.

I wish I could respond. Wish I knew how to respond. But my tongue seems to have tied itself inside of my mouth as my mid fogs over and slows the world around me down.

“It’s your turn.” He states, his calmness shattering slightly with the rush of his words.

“It’s... what..?”

“I told you my secret, now tell me why you’ve been avoiding me.”

“Oh...” is the only word I can manage.

After a minute of heavy silence, he runs his hand through his very perfect hair and says, “[Y/N], you’ve got to say something.”

“Right...” and all of a sudden, his confession catches up with me, and my heart has the audacity to soar inside of my chest, leaving my stomach to be filled with butterflies. A burst of confidence fills me for just enough time for me to be honest, “I’ve developed feelings for my gay best friend... and I never even entertained the possibility of you ever liking me back.”

A breathless smile spreads across his face, lighting his golden eyes up and actually helping him look his age. “You do?” He clarifies.

I nod, my confidence having been spent with my own confession, and now my heart is beating quick enough for me to wonder if having a mutual crush could give you a heart attack.

Tony and I are laying on my couch watching Supernatural on my television, my head is laid comfortably on his chest, listening to his heart beating steadily, my hands in his resting on the blanket covering the both of us.

“Why does Deputy Standall look like-“

“Lucifer? Thank you! I thought I’d be the only one who could see the uncanny resemblance!” I exclaim, turning to look Tony in the eyes... only as I move, I feel Tony tense under me. “Are you okay?” I ask, worriedly. “Did I hurt you? I told you I was too heavy to lay on you!”

He shakes his head, his eyes once again the only thing with any honest expression. Only, I can’t quite read them this time, he has a look in his eyes that have darkened and lightened at the exact same time, leaving a mesmerizing swirl within them. He merely shakes his head, obviously hiding something.

“What..?” I ask, hesitantly.

“Nothing,” he responds far too evenly.

I cock my head to the side, not giving up. “If you need me to get up, I can.” I say, moving to get up, but he pulls me back to him, and it’s this action that allows me to feel something poking my lower back as I’m brought back to lying on top of my boyfriend. “Oh...” I accidentally let out with my realization.

“Hmm?” He says, trying to sound casual, but now I know otherwise.

“Oh, nothing.” I reply, my voice turning sickly sweet as I attempt to hide my smirk. This could be fun.

I give us a few moments, before I pretend to adjust my position to find a more comfortable one, making sure to pointedly rub against his hard on, purposely humming in comfort as I do so. I feel him stiffen once again underneath me, and even feel the slight movement of my hair indicating an outtake of breath being released from him.

“You okay?” I ask, as causally as I can while hiding my smirk.

“I’m fine, yeah.” Tony responds, his voice slightly gruffer than usual, and I have to work at hiding my accomplished giggle.

“Are you sure? You sound a bit... off?” I ask, trying to continue to sound as innocent as I can.

“Just watching the show.” Is his response.

I nod, and wait a few minutes before adjusting again, making sure to wiggle against his bulge a few times as I do so. I hear a soft groan that came right from his chest and I bite my lip to hide the smirk that is becoming increasingly hard to hide.

“Maldita sea, mujer.” He mutters under his breath as he puts his hands firmly on both of my sides, effectively stilling my movements.

“Tony, Love. I can’t understand you when you aren’t speaking English.”

He let’s out what I can only describe as a frustrated sigh, “Never mind.” He grunts.

I move, forcing my face into what I hope is a convincing concerned expression as I turn to face him, again making sure to brush against his hard on. “What’s wrong, Love?”

He eyes me a moment before an undeniable look of understanding appears on his face and I realize the gig is up. “Una tomadura de pelo.” He growls out, making my insides light up in a flame of arousal. As much as I want him to believe that it annoys me when he speaks Spanish; it’s all a lie. It’s honestly one of the more sexy things about him. But I would never let him know what it does to me, I’d never have a moments peace if he knew.

“I still don’t speak Spanish.”

“I called you a tease.” He responds, a fire lighting up behind his darkening brown eyes.

“I personally prefer the term Brat.” I respond with as much confidence as I can muster. We’ve never discussed sexual preferences, and if he isn’t into anything but vanilla, I could be sorry I said anything.

“Is that right?” He asks, darkly.

I feel my confidence dwindle as I can’t read his face, instead of responding I bite my lip and merely nod.

He smirks, and I feel my heart speeding up. “Naughty girl,” I feel my arousal increase at how deep and in control his voice seems to become as though a switch had been flipped. “What should I do with you, huh?”

I feel my ego and confidence build together at how accepting he seems to be, and it’s as though a dark weight had been lifted from me. “You could always fuck me?” I suggest, smirking at him mischieviously.

“Good things come to those who wait,” he replies, a look in his eyes that makes me melt.

“But waiting isn’t fun, ...Sir.” I test out the name hesitantly, but I see him swallow and close his eyes, when he opens them his eyes have turned predetory.

“Primero comemos, luego hacemos todo lo demás.”

I whine, “But I’m not hungry for food, Tony.”

“Well I’m starving,” he responds, a knowing look in his deep eyes. “What time did you say your parents would be home?”

“Not till tomorrow..?” I respond, slowly.

“Good, let’s go to your room.”

I raise an eyebrow, “I thought you were hungry.” I chellenge.

“Oh, I am.” His words are said with conviction. I feel my cheeks heat up as I stand up and lead him up the stairs of my home to my bedroom.

He moves inside, and I’m a little nervous as his eyes take in my bedroom, moving over the band posters litering my walls, photographs I’ve taken from my old home, filled with the smiles of old friends, my family. Some sketches are left on my end table, and as I close my bedroom door behind us he has made his way across the wooden floor to look at the drawing I’ve been working on, as well as the sketches underneath it, the first few sketches of him that I’d given up on for numerous reasons.

He holds the one I’ve deemed worth continueing and says, “This is me.” It wasn’t a question.

I nod, looking at the sketch where I’d managed to capture his eyes and scruff almost perfectly, but am still struggling to perfect his hair correctly.

“It’s really good.”

I shake my head, laughing nervously, “No, I can’t quite get your hair right...”

He places the papers back onto my nightstand and sits on my pillowtop twin bed, bouncing a little as he does.

It’s now that I notice my nervs reflecting in his expressive eyes.

“We don’t have to do anything,” I tell him, gently.

His eyes meet mine, confusion now replacing the nervs. “Do you not want to?”

A small laugh escapes my lips, “How could I not want to?” I exclaim a little more enthusiastically than I’d planned.

“Then why..?”

I bite my lip, my own insecurities filling my head. I want to yell that I’m not a man. That I don’t have the parts he desires. That I am heavier than either of the exes I’ve seen him with. That he is way out of my league and that I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to have sex with me.

He pats my bed, “Come, talk to me.”

I move slowly towards my bed and hesitantly sit next to him, and he wraps a muscular arm around me, pulling me to him so that I can rest my head comfortably underneath his chin as he begins rubbing my back soothingly. “What’s wrong?” He asks, kindness and worry obvious in his tone.

“Can I ask you a question... without offending you?” I whisper.

“You can ask me anything,” I feel him place a soft kiss on top of my head.

“Are you sure you want to be with me?”

He pulls me away from him, making sure to look me in the eyes as he responds, “Why wouldn’t I want to be with you?”

“Because your gay...”

A small understanding smile plays across his lips, “I am. But I am also in love with this really kind girl. One who makes my heart skip a beat whenever she looks my way. One who makes me want to be the best version of myself. I have fallen completely in love with you. And that happens sometimes. And I am so honored that you love me as well. And if you want me as much as I want you, I would really enjoy the chance to make love to you.”

I feel how heavy this conversation has gotten, so I quickly try to lighten the mood, “That’s so cheesy.”

He chuckles softly, stooping to peck my lips, “Well I could have said I’d like to fuck your brains out, but I thought that’d ruin the mood.”

My stomach clenches at the huskiness of his voice, and once again his eyes swirl with a mix of darkness and light that has my mind fogging up. “I mean... I’m not apposed to option number two at all,” I tease, glad the mood is back to playfully flirtatious.

“Oh really?” He asks, moving so that I have to lean back into a laying position, as he hovers above me, one if his knees resting inbetween my thighs and the heat from his body wrapping around me.

“Maybe... or maybe you’re still hungry?”

He smirks, and leans down, his facial haur tickling my face as he kisses me deeply.

His lips move against mine quickly, and I respond enthusiastically. At a certain point his pulls my bottom lip between his teeth and bites down, causing a soft moan to leave my lips and give his tongue the chance to start a battle for dominance with my own.

I know I can’t win, and eventually I allow myself to melt into his dominance, earning a growl from his chest as me moves and starts littering kisses down my neck to my ear where he places a hot kiss right underneath it, a small whimper releasing itself from my mouth. I feel him smile against my skin right before he nips and then sucks a love mark into my skin, a moan making itself known from my lips.

He then moves his lips so I can feel his hot breath against my ear before he whispers seductively, “Not much of a tease now, Mi Amor.”

I feel my arousal increase at his words, but can’t let him win so easily. I bring my my hand down his back, move around his waist tracing his perfeft V-Line to his happy trail and then palm his impressive bulge over his jeans. I feel his hips flex and him twitch underneath my palm.

I only get the satisfaction for a moment before he bites my earlobe and as my eyes involuntarily close he grabs both my wrists in one of his hands and pulls them above my head. As I open my eyes in mild shock, I’m met with those mesmerizing eyes as he tuts at me, “I told you earlier, good things happen to those who wait.” He moves the knee between my legs so that it presses and rubs against my clothed pussy and my head falls back onto my pillows, the slight friction against my needing cunt isn’t enough, I need more. And he knows it.

“Eyes on me, Mi Amor.” I allow my eyes to flutter open as he lets my wrists free and sits up, and without breaking eye contact he unbuttons his shirt slowly, showing me the inked skin on his chest, one button at a time. I watch, breathless as he removes the shirt from his shoulders and allows me to admire his bare and muscular torso, from his prominant pecks, down to his V-Line, and then to the mouth watering happy trail that leads into to his jeans.

“May I?” He asks, gently, tugging at the end of my own top, and I nod my head; only to have him shake his, “I’m going to have to hear you say it, [Y/N].”

“Please, Tony.” I beg, softly; assuming that’s what he’s looking for.

He leans forward and gives me another mind blowing kiss, one that has me dizzy when he pulls away before repeating, “I need you to tell me that I can take off your shirt.”

I nod, “You can take my shirt off. You can take everything off.” My words sound rushed and breathy to my ears.

He smiles before his face returns to the stoic look of a man in control as he helps me sit up so he can pull my t-shirt over my head; exposing my cream colored bra underneath. I should have warn my nice black one. I would have if I were prepared for this to have happened.

“Can I?” He asks again, as one of his callased hands run along my brastrap.

“Yes.” I breathe, and he follows the string to my back, meeting his other hand at the clasp.

He starts pulling on it, but it isn’t long before I hear him mutter, “Mierda.” Under his breath.

“Can I help?” I ask, biting my lip as I take in his look of utter consintration. After a moment he sighs, and nods.

I smile and move my hands behind my back to unclasp my bra for him. He takes over gently pulling each strap down my arms individually. And once my chest is exposed to him; I hold my breath, closing my eyes. I don’t want to see his expression as the reality of my femininity is revealed to him.

“Hermosa.” It’s whispered, and like most of his Spanish vocab, I don’t understand the word; but I do hear the admiration in his voice and it allows me to relax again.

His hands softly, almost hesitantly lay themselves on my breasts. I sigh out softly. That’s when he pinches my nipples, and I can’t help the pleasured gasp from escaping my lips. And then I feel it, his mouth wrap itself around my left nipple, and suck, his tongue running over it. Another moan escapes without my permission.

He pleasures my breast with his mouth and then releases it, blowing cold air onto the wet nipple. He then switches to my right, giving it the same treatment.

Once he’s finished his intoxicating treatment of my breasts, he begins to leave a trail of kisses down my stomach, causing me to squirm underneath him, needing him to move faster, willing him to remove my jeans quicker.

“If you don’t stop moving, I’ll start over.” His growl has my breath hitching, as does the nip to my hip bone. “Do you understand?” I nod, quickly. “Use your words.”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes I understand.”

He stops his decent, and I whine. “There’s still one word missing from that sentence, Mi Amor.”

My breath hitches with a new wave of arousal. “Yes I understand, Sir.” I breathe out.

“Good girl, now keep still.” I nod, and he moves his lips to the opposite hip bone, mapping out his path with wet open mouthed kisses, taking his time to occasionally nip, or suck as he sees fit.

When he reaches the middle of my stomach he stops again and I whine, “I haven’t moved.”

“I know, your being so good for me. Now, can I take your jeans off?”

“Yes, please.” I beg.

He pops the button and even takes the time to unzip my pants. He taps my hip to have me raise my ass so he can pull my pants down without resistance. I listen immediately, letting him leak the skin tight jeans down my legs and I hear him throw them down somewhere in my room. My eyes are still closed as I allow him to undress me.

He tugs on my panties, asking once more, “Can I?”

“Please, please take them off.” I beg, desperately. I need him. I need him now.

He pulls them down at such a torturous speed that I have half a mine to rip them off myself.

Finally he has me completely undressed and I hear another zipper, when I open my eyes I see him peeling his own pants off, leaving him in black Calvin Klines.

He looks up at me, his eyes showing slight uncertainty as he speaks this time, “I’ve never... with a girl. I’ll need a little, direction.”

I smile at him, trying to keep my voice even as I ask, “Well what exactly do you have planned?”

He smirks before stating, “Well I’d like to get you off before actually fucking you. Get you nice and wet for me. Maybe even make you beg for me before I give you what you really want.”

It takes me a second to compose myself again, his words causing my thoughts to swarm. “Uh... well... if you’d just, uh... fuck.” I swear, before taking a deep breath. “My clit. Please rub my clit, Sir.” I beg, finding the words I’m searching for.

He nods, and his thumb comes into contact with my bundle of nerves before he creates a teasing pattern of rubbing figure eights onto my nerves, then as I’m just getting to the edge, slowing down and rubbing nice long circles around it.

After the fourth build up I huff out a disappointed groan into my left arm that I have draped over my face.

I hear his dark chuckle, “It isn’t so nice to be teased, is it?” I bite my lip once more, understanding his games.

A loud shocked moan leaves my lips as one of his long fingers are inserted inside of me and pulled out in a slow drag, before being plunged back in. “Use your words.” He demands.

“No. No it’s not.” I gasp out, another moan ripping itself out of me as he adds another finger to the mix, this one has his cold ring on his, and I can just barely feel it with every insertion. The feeling mixed with his thumb still rubbing figure eights against my clit has me gasping in between moans.

As I feel my orgasm building this time, my thighs begin to shake. “Hold it.” He demands, his voice like honey.

I shake my head, “I can’t.” I gasp out.

“You can and you will. 5.” My body begs for release as he continues his actions. “4.” The cold brush of his ring hits my clit just briefly. “3.” His figure eights quicken slightly. “2.” The tip of his middle finger brushes against my g-spot unexpectedly and I have to bite my knuckle to keep from screaming out. Every part of my concentration is being used not to let myself fall over the edge. “Come for me, Mi Amor.” His permission sets off my release, and I feel the tingles inside of me exploding around his fingers, pulsing around him as pleasure spreads throughout my body.

He continues as I come down from my high before pulling his fingers out and wiping them on his boxers.

He looks at me, and I can see the pride that he’s trying to hide shining through as he pulls off his boxers.

I swallow as I take in the sight of his generous size in all it’s thick and veiny glory.

He moves, so he’s once again hovering over me, placing a kiss to my lips that has me wanting more.

When he pulls away, he has me meet his eyes as he says, “May I?”

I nod, “Please. Please, Tony.”

He braces his weight in his left hand as he uses his right to position himself before slowly sinking into my heat, a moan falling from my lips as he pulls back.

When he sinks in again, his pace picks up, an amazing push and pull rhythm is found, and soon I’m moving my hips to meet him thrust for thrust, his groans of pleasure right next to my ear sounds like the best form of music I’ve ever heard. My moans filling the air just as freely.

Our bodies move like one as we build to our release. He moves his right hand back down and begins rubbing my clit once again, my hands grasping onto his shoulders for dear life.

“Eso es. Al igual que esa bebe.” His words fill my mind and bring me spiraling towards my release, even without understanding them. “Mierda. Si eso es. Eso es perfecto, Mi Amor.”

“I’m so close...” I gasp out mid moan.

“Cum for me. Vamos, Mi Amor. Let go for me.”

My body releases with an overwhelming euphoria. My eyes closing tight as I pulse around him. Waves of pleasure crashing around me.

After a moment, I feel him still above me, and a deep primal groan breaks its way out of his mouth before he buries his face into the crook of my neck, nibbling at the tender skin there.

After a moment, he rolls off of me, pulling me to his chest to bathe in the afterglow.

[sloppysecondsoogawooga]

Lords of Balls

It was a long unfulfilling day recording again and Euronymous had finally caved for the night. He decided to head back to his store Hellvette so grab some drinks and have some peace and quiet. The store was his one comfort and the place he felt he could really be himself, especially in the stores basement. There it was a paradise for all who were in the Black Metal scene. They all enjoyed spending long sweaty nights talking about music and how they wanted to burn down churches.

This particular night, however Euronymous felt as if something was amiss. He noticed the lights for the store were on despite having closed it down before leaving to record. "How strange" he mumbled to himself seeing if the door was unlocked. It opened without any force; which made Euronymous even more concerned. "Whoever is in here, just leave and I won't press charges!" He yelled with a little quiver in his voice. His throat felt tight as tried to reach for something to use as a weapon. Thankfully the walls of his shop were lined with fake medieval weaponry, so he plucked a long sword off the wall he could barely hold up.

Slowly and surely he was turning the corners he came across an old picture on the wall of him with his ex best friend Pelle. Pelle unfortunately died at his own hands years ago and it has been weighing heavy on Euro for a long time. Wishing he could have told him how he really felt about Pelle. Unfortunately, some words are better left unspoken. The noises started getting louder so Euro popped out of his deep thought and noticed it was all coming from the basement. He managed to muster out "you had better show yourself intruder!!!" choking on his words out of fear. His palms got sweatier making the sword harder to hold.

As he started to walk down the stairs to the basement he lost his grip on the sword "FUCK!!!" he yelped as he practically ran down to get the sword. As he made it to the bottom he came face to face with these "intruders". They were actually his friends from his band Mayhem.

"Varg? Hellhammer? Attila? What are you guys doing here!? You could have told me you were going to come back to the store without scaring me!" He said getting red from anger and embarrassment.

"Sorry Euronymous, we just didn't want to tell you about this..... it's something we thought you'd you'd ashamed of" Atilla said meekly, staring down at his shoes and blushing.

"What could you possibly be doing that I'd be upset abo-" before he could finish his sentence he noticed that his friends, his band mates, his longtime confidantes were standing pantsless and all erect.

"Listen Euro, this is something we do to keep eachothother company, you wouldn't understand" Varg said annoyed that they were all being interrupted of their special time. Hellhammer staying quiet as to not add to the frustration.

"You know I hate being left out of bonding time Varg!!" Euronymous said with tears in his eyes

"Well maybe if you stop being a little bitch and show us your cock we would invite you" Varg said laughing

There was a sudden pause in that basement. The usual feeling of friendship and joy that was shared down there was shattered. Euronymous felt like he had been betrayed. "I guess ill just leave...." he said slowly turning to go back up the stairs.

"Wait!" Hellhammer said getting up and running to Euronymous. "Maybe we can try it... just this once?" He leaned in to a shocked and flustered Euro who had never even considered viewing his friends in such a way. "We are ALL friends after all, maybe we can make this work" Attila added also approaching Euro; putting his hand on his shoulder and rubbing it a little. Varg seemingly agitated then approached Euro asking "are you sure you'll be able to handle this?" Slowly reaching his hand down Euro's jeans.

Euronymous slowly growing in size becoming obviously erect to his friends felt as if maybe this was his time to form a stronger bond with these men. He leaned into Varg with the scent of lust in his breath "why don't you just kiss me already you fool". Just then Varg grabbed Euro's face and then they begun the most sloppy and passionate kiss anyone had seen in that basement. Hellhammer began down on his knees starting to suck on Varg's large uncut meaty cock. It was the most beautiful cock he had ever sucked (and he has sucked MANY). Atilla started on on opposite side and began to dive face first into Varg's clean and freshly bleached asshole. Licking it up and down and taking it all in as if he was taking communion. Euro slowly shedding his leather jacket, bullet belt 1, bullet belt 2, studded belt, fingerless gloves, and leather vest while him and Varg were still exchanging sloppy tongue filed smooches. Varg was getting closer than expected since his two friends had him covered front and back.

"Enough!!" Varg said almost too angrily.

"Whats wrong boss?" Atilla said confused, dick still in his greedy jaws.

"I think its time we give Euro some undivided attention" he said smirk across his face.

Everyone got up and moved Euronymous to the couch where they sat him down much to his surprise. Slowly peeling off the last of his clothes. Varg taking care of Euro's pants specifically

"I want to be the one to taste his virgin dick" Varg announced to the others, firm and powerful. Underneath Euro's well worn Tangerine Dream shirt was his rippling sexy abs, sweating with anticipation for what was to come (authors note: everyone in this is jacked and has a 9 inch peepee)

Soon Euronymous and everyone were naked and greasy from all the sweat, Varg now grasping Euro's unfortunately cut penis slowly and surely stroking it with a firm loving grip. Atilla was next to Euronymous kissing him as Hellhammer began eating Atilla's ass. Unfortunately Atilla was less clean than Varg so Hellhammer had found some toilet paper crumbles in his hairy chamber of delight. Euronymous was overcome with bliss as his closest friends were all there enjoying the taste of eachothers manhood.

Euronymous getting closer and closer to the brink of orgasm as Varg bopped his head up and down his wet ass cock. Then in that moment he suddenly shot his load in an unsuspecting Varg's unprepared mouth. He spat Euro's creamy kids out onto the floor "Euronymous it appears because you were the first to cum. You will be the first to get fucked" Everyone in the room suddenly filled with both fear and excitement.

"V-Varg kun I have never had anyone take my anal virginity. I'm scared" Euronymus said blushing pulling his head away from everyone. Varg then moving his head back holding his face with tender affection "Don't worry Euro chan it'll only hurt for a moment, I'll be gentle I promise" he said as he pet Euro's definitely real pitch black hair.

Euronymous knew this was the right thing to do, and the most exciting thing he could have done, he then assumed the position, doggy style on the couch, filled with anticipation for his best friends throbbing hard dick in his tight little man hole. Varg then wetting up his fingers to stimulate Euro's hole, which opened without any issue. "I see someone is excited" he said with sarcastic bliss

Euro was embarrassed and blushed as cherry Blossom petals fell behind him for atmosphere. Then varg started thrusting his beautiful shimmering uncut member up and down Euro"s entire ass before putting it inside. There was a sudden "EEP!" from Euronymous, who wasn't prepared, but as soon as the head of Varg's dick was in he slowly moved it back and forth. Euro warming up to the sensation with pure joy began making small noises to show how much he enjoyed it. Hellhammer and Atilla were 69ing in the corner as this was going on, but kept watching to see when they could join in.

Varg and Euronymous were in ecstacy as Euro's thick juicy ass backed onto Vargs giant schlong. In that moment Hellhammer and Atilla decided it was time to form a "human centipede" if you will. Atilla first to insert his dick into Varg, then Hellhammer into Atilla. They had all perfected this technique and now everyone was fucking everyone. Then suddenly they began hearing someone walking down to the basement. They all paused their sweaty pile and then. A face they didn't expect showed up.

"P-Pelle!?" Euro shouted!!!!

It was Pelle! But, a Zombie. Pelle groaning and moaning because he was a zombie pulled down his mostly disintegrated pants to reveal his 10 inch oozing zombie cock. Everyone was in shock, but Euronymous ushered him to come over and put his pimply zombie dick in his mouth. Pelle staggered over, left arm falling off as he walked over in front of Euro. Who then put his rotting corpse member in his mouth which he did with delight.

Everyone was getting back into the groove. Grunting and moaning while they were inside eachother having the most erotic experience anyone could have. It went on for what felt like hours, But then everyone almost magically started to get closer at the same time.

"Ah I'm getting close" Varg said

"Same" Hellhammer and Atilla said

Euronymous couldn't say anything, but he basically said yes, and Pelle just groaned loudly insinuating Euronymous's glug glug 5000 was really good.

In that moment everyone suddenly burst into eachother. There was so much cum it was everywhere. They couldn't stop ejaculating it was an unending stream of what could have been children. It was the most intense orgasm any of them had ever had. Even Pelle burst into Euro with his maggot filled zombie jizz which Euro filled up on and swallowed in its entirety. Everyone collapsed to the floor ans couch exhausted, but happy.

"Well Euro, I guess you were fun to "stab" at after all" Varg said breathless. Euronymous blushing and happy "yeah we should do this another time after band practice" he said breathy

Hellhammer and Atilla were cuddling and not paying attention bc they were boyfriends.

Pelle was on the floor dead again and starting to stink up the room. Nobody cared.

After that they decided to bury Pelle again and burn down a church. They all lived happy fulfilling lives the end.

[krreader]

diamond maknae | no rest.

pairing: ot7 x maknae!reader (platonic) fandom: bts warnings: maknae!reader ; eighth member of bts ; language ; mentions of sex genre: angst ; fluff other:  (for other diamond maknae content, please check out my masterlist)

summary: all you wanted was to come home and relax, but living with seven brothers made that almost impossible.

a/n: since I will never find accurate gifs for these stories, have this one that still kills me :’) and also.. kind of fits? in a way? idk man, just enjoy the story hahaha

ask box | masterlist | masterlist for original stories | fandoms | faq

Listen, life as an idol is stressful as fuck most days of the year, but then there are some days, where you just get bombarded with so much shit and you end up being overwhelmed by absolutely everything.

So when you came home that day, you had hoped to wind down and just relax, before another stressful day would begin tomorrow, but no, your wish wouldn't be granted. 

Because living with seven men wasn't exactly easy.

It started with Jin, who was apparently working on his vocals. In theory, that wasn't a big deal, you were actually quite happy he was putting so much effort into it. But it was problematic when his room was right next to yours and you couldn't fall asleep because he was being too loud.

Then you thought, okay, let's go into the living room and sleep there for tonight, all good, but when you showed up with your pillow and blanket, Taehyung's eyes were focused on the screen, his hand shoving popcorn into his mouth, as he was watching the drama one of his friends was in and you knew that there was no way you could ask him to stop watching it, especially because it meant to much to him.

Then you figured, alright, might as well try the bedroom of one of your brothers. Jeongguk. He usually stayed up way too long anyways, he’d be the perfect choice. And so after you put the blanket and pillow back into your room, you walked into his room, only to realize that you wouldn't get much sleep in here after all. Because he was apparently playing with three other idols and he was being loud as fuck as well, laughing and yelling and.. well.. being a guy playing an online game.

With a heavy sigh and without a word, you left his room again and wanted to walk into Namjoon's, only to be stopped by moans from within. Female moans.

“Are you fucking serious, Namjoon?” you muttered under your breath, shaking your head disapprovingly.

You tried Yoongi's room next, but he was working on some new music in his room, meaning, he was blasting music through his speakers.

How the fuck was this happening right now?

Figuring you wouldn't get any kind of sleep tonight, or at least not as much as you had hoped for, you wanted to walk into the kitchen and make yourself some coffee to keep you awake, only to find..-

“What is it?”

“I think I broke the coffee machine,” Jimin sighed and took a step back, “Sorry..-”

This day would go down as the worst day in history. Seriously.

Your last resort was taking a bath, hoping that would make you relax, but obviously you had one brother left and because the universe seemingly hated you, he already occupied the bathroom. Or did other things in there that you didn't want to know about. All you did know, was that the door was locked and that he told you to go away when you asked when he’d come out.

And that's when you finally lost it, “I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL!” and with that, you grabbed your blanket and pillow again and fully stormed out of the apartment.

Taehyung and Jimin were the only ones that had heard your outburst, the other ones being either too busy or hadn’t heard it.

“What.. what did we do?”

“I broke the coffee machine.. do you think it's my fault?” Jimin asked with sudden worry in his voice, not wanting you to be upset with him.

“Wait.. let me talk to her,” Taehyung didn't know what to expect when stepping out of the apartment, but certainly not you lying on the stairs, wrapped in a blanket and looking extremely uncomfortable, exhausted and cold, “Why are you out here?” Tae asked, kneeling down in front of you.

“You're all either too loud or ruined my chance of getting a bit of relaxation tonight, so I'd rather stay out here than be with you inside right now.”

“Wait, but.. what did I do?”

“Binge watch in the living room.”

“You could have said something. I would have watched it on my phone,” he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, “I'll tell you what.. I'll go back inside and tell the others. I’ll make them apologize to you. All of them. Will you come inside, then?”

Your stubbornness wanted to say no, but your aching back and your heavy eyelids said: “Fine.”

“Good,” he kissed your temple and walked back inside, telling Jimin first, then walking from room to room and telling his other brothers.

“I'm sorry I broke the coffee machine, love,” Jimin crouched down next to you, his fingers gently running over your cheek, “But I'll tell you what.. I'll buy you Starbucks for the rest of the week. Every morning. Whatever you want.”

“Even if I want food with it?”

“Even so,” he smiled and kissed your temple just like Tae had, before the door got opened and Yoongi walked out, “I'll be inside.”

You were still covered from toe to chin in your blanket, so this did look rather funny.

If it weren't for the concern Yoongi had, he probably would have laughed.

“You know, next time you have a problem, just say it.”

“So you can be pissed with me again? No, thank you.”

“I wasn't..-” he sighed and shook his head, “I wasn't pissed last time. I'm just.. tense right now.”

“Yeah, well me too. And I needed to sleep tonight. You know how that feels, don't you?”

“I do,” Yoongi took his hands out of his pockets and crouched down like Jimin had, to kiss your temple, “I’m sorry.”

After Yoongi had disappeared inside again, Jin walked out a couple of seconds later and smiled, “You look really cute like this, actually.”

“This isn't the right time to tell me I look cute, I'm trying to be angry with you.”

“Ah, right. Of course,” he leaned down and kissed the side of your nose, “I'm sorry for being so loud and I love you very much, little one.”

“I love you too, big one,” you grinned, but then quickly furrowed your eyebrows and shook your head, “But I'm still angry with you.”

Next up was Hoseok, only wearing a..-

“You could have put on some pants, you know?”

“Taehyung dragged me out of the bathroom. It was either the towel or nothing at all and I don't think you want to see my penis.”

“No. I do not. What were you even doing in there? It took you ages!”

“I was.. showering,” in theory, that was correct. But there was also a bit more to it that he didn’t want his little sister to know about.

“Actually, never mind, I know what you did and I don't want to know the details of it. Just.. don't take so long next time. I needed a bath really bad.”

“I'll be.. faster next time.”

“Ew, okay, go. I don't want to hear this,” you shuddered.

But the guy that came out next was even worse than Hoseok and looked just as bad, probably even worse, since Namjoon didn’t shower and was literally sweaty as fuck.

“(Y/N), I'm sorry, I didn't hear you..”

“Because you were sleeping with someone. While I was in the apartment. Your baby sister. Your poor, innocent..-”

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry, please don't guilt trip me. I won't do it again,” he wanted to kiss you like the others had, but you immediately pushed him away.

“Don't you dare put your lips anywhere near me for the next month Kim Namjoon. I don't want to have whatever you have on your mouth on my body.”

Fair enough, actually.

And then last but not least, the guy that didn't bother talking to you, but instead, put his arms under your body and pick you up like a bride.

“Jeongguk, no! I want to be angry with you, let me be!”

“Be angry with me in your bed, I don't like you being out here.”

“You haven't apologized to me yet, though,” all of your brothers watched you two walk into your bedroom with a smile, before they carried on with their night, trusting Jeongguk to take care of you.

“I have a different idea,” and as soon as you were in bed, he joined you and pulled you against him, “Cuddles for an apology?”

Yeah, the day was horrible, but the night ended rather well. And sleeping in the arms of one of your brothers always calmed you down more than anything else, so..

[acecorvid]

Sick Day [Spideypool/Spiderfam fic]

Sorry it’s been so long since a Spiderfamily update! It’s been a really weird and busy start to 2019 and I’m on a somewhat social media break? But more fics will be coming soon!

It took all of six seconds for Wade to realize he’d come home to chaos and considering he’d been in three gun fights only hours before, that was definitely saying something.

“Thank fuck you’re here,” Peter growled. His voice was much deeper and gravelly than it usually was. It was sexy. Quite sexy. Maybe the most sexy of all the-

“Hey! Fuckface! Eyes on me. Focus-” although the last part of ‘focus’ was coughed out onto Wade’s face.

“Ew, Spidey-germs. Does that mean I’m gonna get spidey-powers now?”

“You never get sick, Wade. Healing factor, remember?”

“That’s mutanist. You’re being- you’re falling over actually okay let’s get you to a flat surface.” Wade caught Peter in his arms mid-sentence as he started to tilt a little too far to the left. He propped Peter up against his own chest, turning his face so that if he coughed, he’d cough in a direction that wasn’t Wade’s tattered and bloody suit.

The falling over and apparent fever that Wade could feel through this suit didn’t stop Peter from rambling. “Gwen needs cough medicine. Peni needs a hot water bottle. Porker needs a lot of Kleenex. Noir needs some kind of old timey remedy that has too many ingredients and probably heroin so scratch that and just get him ibuprofen.”

“And Peter B. needs to lie down because he’s got the highest fever I’ve ever felt and I had cancer, my dude.”

“Don’t call me-” Peter’s coughing fit cut him off and he buried his face into Wade’s chest once again. “Don’t call me dude.”

“And Miles needs more blankets!”

Wade turned to the couch to see one Miles Morales peeking his head up from the couch.

“Miles?” Peter also turned to look but Wade assumed he got dizzy because he just put his face back on Wade’s chest. “You’re still here? I thought you went home.”

“You said there was a Spidey quarantine!”

Peter paused in Wade’s arms. “I guess I did say that. Okay. And Miles needs more blankets.”

“And water, please.”

“Don’t be greedy.”

Miles groaned and dropped back onto the couch and out of sight.

Wade stared at the back of the couch for a moment before he unceremoniously picked Peter up and starts to carry him upstairs.

“This isn’t what I asked for.”

“But it’s what you’re getting. Gotta get you into bed, old man. Have you always been this heavy? I feel like maybe-”

“Do not kick a man when he’s down,” Peter growled into Wade’s shoulder but he clings harder to him. He’s still clinging when Wade plants him down on their bed and tries to pull away.

“You’re warm,” is Peter’s only answer when Wade asks him what he’s doing.

“And you’re on fire. Didn’t you want me to help out the other spiders?”

“Leave them to die, cuddles are more important.”

Instead of doing any of that, Wade pulled away and was surprised at how easily he slipped out of Peter’s grasp this time. He was weak and pliant, which only made Wade worry more as he pressed a soft kiss to Peter’s forehead.

“Get some rest, old man.”

Peter grumbled and groaned, but he rolled over and cuddled one of the fluffy pillows on their bed, seemingly obeying Wade’s words for once. Wade was sure he’d be asleep within minutes of leaving the room.

As he walked down the hall, ready to go check on the spider-kids, he pulled out his phone and shot his reliable weapon’s dealer a quick text message and a list of everything he would be needing.

-

-

-

“You know, when I got your message this isn’t exactly what I was expecting,” Weasel held out six bags full of pharmaceuticals, Kleenex, and everything else the poor sick spiders would be needing. Weasel took in Wade’s form as he handed the bags over the threshold of the doorway. He blinked wildly, took of his thick glasses to rub them clean on his shit, put them back on, and continued to stare. “Also wasn’t expecting that.”

Wade, completely free of his usual suit and mask, was wearing a blue and white unicorn onesie and a pink frilly apron. With all the spiders sick, someone had to clean house, and that someone was well equipped with the best outfit for the job.

“It’s the uniform of a providing father, Wease.”

Weasel stared blankly at him. Clearly he did not believe or understand anything out of the mercenary’s mouth.

“Is that meds?” Gwen had snuck up behind Wade and he would have scolded her for leaving her bed but she was leaning heavily against his side for support. He’d never seen any of his spiders so weak. Gwen reached around him and rummaged through the bags until she found a package of cough medicine. “Thank fuck!” Gwen pressed a kiss to Wade’s cheek before turning and launching herself over the back of the couch to land directly on top of Miles judging by the yelp and groan that followed. He could not understand how she could still be this nimble when she was burning up with a fever.

“I got the stuff!”

After Miles recovered he lifted his head over the couch again, “Thanks Dad Number 3!”

“What the shit, Wade?”

Wade turned back to Weasel who looked completely shell shocked. He was staring into the house, eyes wide with disbelief.

“Is this where you’ve been this whole time? Everyone’s been asking for you at the bar, wondering why you’ve just been picking up jobs over the phone instead of coming in, and you’ve been… playing house with someone else’s kids? Who are these kids? Whose kids are they? What the-”

“Lot of questions, buddy. Slow down, you’ll hurt yourself.”

“Did you kidnap and brainwash a bunch of children, Wade?”

“Yes, Weasel. It’s a big conspiracy where I brainwash random kids to become mutant mercenaries not unlike myself and get them to do my bidding.”

“Al’s not gonna like this, Wade.”

“Weasel. I’m not. Obviously.”

Weasel looked from the couch, where two heads were poking up with curiosity, back to Wade. “Whatever’s going on here isn’t obvious.”

Wade sighed and shoved Weasel out of the doorway and stepped outside, closing the door behind him, much to the dismay of the two eavesdroppers inside.

“Look, you can’t tell anyone. I mean it this time, buddy. Tell anyone and I will personally slice your balls off and feed them to you on a silver platter.”

“Not the most creative threat you’ve given me but okay, noted.”

“I got married to a perfectly normal man from this dimension. His name is Peter and he has two children who are definitely both his biological spawn and they’re technically my kids now through marriage. That’s it. That’s the whole deal. And they’re defenseless little normal humans so I can’t let anyone know about them because any of my enemies could find out and hunt them down. Can’t have that. So no words out of your mouth, got it?”

Weasel stared at him for a moment before nodding, “Yup, absolutely everything out of your mouth was a lie but I can’t even begin to fathom the truth of it so- you got it bud. Not a word. Just promise me you’re not doing anything weird or skeevy or more illegal than the usual illegal shit we do.”

“Scout’s honor!”

“You’re not a- yeah okay, sure. You’re welcome for the care package. Hope the kiddies feel better soon.”

“Me too, who knew spider-people could get this sick.”

“Sorry what?”

“What?”

“The what people?”

“What what?”

Weasel rolled his eyes, waving his hand dismissively as he walked away. “Whatever Wade. You can tell me when you’re ready. Let me know when you’re ready for another mission.”

“Will do, buddy!” Wade gave him a two-finger salute before heading back inside and promptly running into Gwen and Miles who were obviously backing up from leaning against the wall. They somewhat successfully steadied each other despite looking like they were going to collapse at any moment. Gwen folded her arms and gave Wade a stern look, possibly to overcompensate for being caught. Miles glanced at her and immediately followed suit.

“Are you cheating on Pops?”

“Ye-yeah! Are you cheating on Dad Number 2?”

Wade rolled his eyes, sighing loudly as he put his arms around the two kids and lifted them up, carrying them back to the couch and plopping them down.

“Nothing or no one could make me cheat on your dad. I am faithful till the end. Sometimes beyond the end. With the exception of men that time travel and have metal arms… then sometimes I’m not the most faithful person but it’s an understandable thing. Like one of those freebie lists. You get me?”

Both Gwen and Miles shook their heads.

“Good! Now,” Wade dug through the bags he’d left in the entryway and plopped down a box of Kleenex, bottle of painkillers, two bottles of gatorade, and other supplies onto the laps. “Take some drugs, get some sleep, and feel better!”

“You’re a weird dude, Mr. Deadpool Dad,” Gwen mumbled as she crawled under one of the many blankets Miles had accumulated on the couch - including the ones that Gwen brought down when she was tired of being in her room alone.

“And you’re a weird kid.”

“But you’re good to have around. Love you and all that.”

“Ditto,” Miles chimed in though his eyes were already closed.

“Love you two and all that,” Wade repeated and patted them both on their heads before gathering up the supplies and spreading it out among the other spiders. Noir put up a bit of a fight when it came to all the meds, insisting that he read all the labels and wondering why there wasn’t certain now outlawed ingredients in them but eventually he got him to take many of the night time pills and put him back to bed. Peni was curled up with her tiny spider that somehow looked as sick as she did, so he left all the meds and supplies on her night stand and gave her a kiss on the forehead. He did not want to talk about what he saw in Porker’s room. He left seven boxes of Kleenex for him and left immediately.

Back in Peter’s room, Wade slipped in to find Peter soundly asleep on the bed, covers haphazardly wrapped around him. He put down the last bag next to the bed and gently crawled in next to Peter, brushing his hair out of his face.

Peter grumbled as he woke, rolling over to look Wade in the eyes. “Are the others okay?”

“They’re better. Gwen and Miles are particularly lively.”

“Not surprising.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Like hell froze over.”

Wade reached behind him and pulled the bag up onto the bed. “I came prepared then!”

“Ah yes! I knew there was a reason I kept you around. You’re the best.” Peter made grabby-hands at the bag and in any other circumstance, Wade would pull the bag out of his grasp. But he wasn’t one to torment the sick so he gave in.

“Only useful as an errand boy, I see how it is.”

“Oh, you’re useful for other things too. I just don’t have the energy for any of those right now.”

“You don’t have the energy for bacon and eggs and pancakes?”

“Ugh, please don’t mention food to me right now.”

Wade patted Peter back and kissed his shoulder as he downed some meds, and then Peter turned his body into Wade’s. “The kids are all taken care of then?”

“Hm? Yeah they’re good,” Wade answered.

“Cuddle with me?”

Wade smirked, moving to lie on his back and letting Peter snuggle up close to his side, “We’ve got to get you sick more often if you’re going to be this affectionate.”

“I will gladly be affectionate with you every day if I don’t have to feel like this ever again.”

“Hm, I’ll look into it.”

“I don’t like the sound of that and whatever twisted experiment you’re scheming of but okay, sounds like a plan.” Peter buried his face in Wade’s shoulder and promptly fell back to sleep. All through the house, Wade could hear subtle coughs and groans, making it hard for him to fall asleep, but this was his family and he would always protect and take care of them.

(first) (next)

[gaycrouton]

I swear that some of those prompts were tailor-made for the X-Files, but I'd love it if you'd write one of the less obvious ones: 44, "this is a totally inappropriate soundtrack." (MSR obviously)

I went a weird route with this, but I hope you like it!

Scully got flustered from time to time, but this was the first instance in a while where she was thoroughly and utterly embarrassed. Hell, even Mulder looked like he was trying his best to sink into the seat beneath him, attempting to look casual even though the red tips of his ears hinted at what he was truly feeling. It all stemmed from a misunderstanding too. A humiliating, misconstrued misunderstanding.

Mulder and her had simply been riding in the elevator yesterday when her pen fell on the ground. She turned around and bent down to get it when the elevator made an abrupt stop. She hadn’t anticipated anyone would get on, so the sudden stop toppled her forward and she grabbed onto Mulder’s belt to steady herself. Mulder, ever the chivalrous one, placed one hand on her shoulder and the other hand on the side of her head to steady her.

She had attempted to stand up, but her heel was at an awkward angle, so she ended up falling to her knees completely in front of him, her movement inadvertently making the hand in her hair slide to the back of her head. At that same moment, the elevator doors decided to slide open and reveal their incriminating pose.

And that’s what A.D. Skinner, along with five other high ranking FBI officials saw; Scully on her knees grabbing at Mulder’s belt as he loomed over her, pressing his hand against the back of her skull. Perfect.

Oh yeah, and Mulder just had to choose that morning to forget to zip up his fly after making a pit stop at the restroom.

And it had to be the day he ran out of underwear and boxers.

Of course.

Mulder, quite literally, grabbed her by the biceps and hoisted her to her feet, dramatically stating, “Woah there Scully, are you okay?” to make it look like the accident it was. It probably would have worked, except her necklace got caught on his belt, stopping her midway up. She raised her hand up to disentangle it, but since she couldn’t see very well, her hand accidentally slid into the opening of his fly and grazed his bare penis. Mulder gasped and jumped and immediately reached his hand down to help her, also to zip up his fly. An action definitely obvious to the group of spectators.

“What the hell is going o-” Skinner’s voice boomed, but the elevator door closed before the last of his reprimand could be heard. As soon as the doors closed, she was free and snapped up, coming face to face with a flustered Mulder. They just stared at each other for a moment in pure mortification.

Their boss, along with several other people, were under the assumption that Scully was blowing Mulder in the elevator.

It was no surprise for either of them when they both received emails declaring that their presence was mandatorily required at the next day’s sexual harassment seminar. She contemplated e-mailing Skinner and explaining the situation, but if he wanted clarification, he would have just summoned them for a meeting. She had a feeling the other men with him pressured him into doing this, and the message rang loud and clear; go to the seminar and we’ll just forget about this.

Now they were sitting in a room filled with a bunch of newbies and men that obviously got caught doing something they shouldn’t have. The seminar was only required once at the beginning of your career. You only had to go back if you messed up. They stuck out like sore thumbs.

She knew it wasn’t Skinner, but someone who saw the incident must’ve been spreading it around, because they were currently the center of attention. If she heard ‘spooky’ whispered one more time she was going to self-combust into flames. Mulder must’ve been aware of the unwanted attention too, because when one man leered at Scully and poked his tongue against the inside of his cheek suggestively, Mulder was quick to bark, “Turn around pervert.”

She turned to him and saw he was playing with the sheet of paper in front of him nervously. She tapped his leg under the table to get his attention and whispered, “I’m sorry. This is my fault.”

“No it’s not. It was an accident. If anything, I really made the situation worse.”

She shook her head and played with her pen idly, “No you didn’t. You were just trying to help.”

“I’m really sorry about, um, that, by the way,” he murmured, avoiding her gaze.

“About what?” she asked, not quite sure what in particular he was referring to.

“I should have zipped up, um,” he rambled, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck self consciously. “I’m sorry my, uh, little Mulder was in your face and that you accidentally touched it.”

A few people around them turned around and gave them an awkward glance, making them both blush and look away for a moment until they turned around. “Don’t be sorry. We’ve all gone without from time to time,” she ignored the way his eyebrow cocked up suggestively at that, “-and I wouldn’t call it little,” she teased.

He turned to her fully with a grin on his face, but before he could respond the exuberant woman at the front jumped up to the podium and started. “Welcome, welcome everyone, to this year’s sexual harassment seminar!” Scully and Mulder exchanged a judgemental glance at the woman’s enthusiasm.

She spent a while explaining what the seminar was for; so those who are new to the bureau would understand the standard of the work environment and for those who had strayed off the path could get a refresher. Then they had to sit there and endure a horribly dated video that essentially could be summed up in the statement “Don’t slap a female coworkers ass” since it was really the only thing depicted over and over again.

When the lights came back on, the woman asked that everyone look at their sheets of paper and take note of the five blank spaces at the top. She was going to give everyone ten minutes to partner up and brainstorm five things that would constitute sexual harassment in the workplace. After the instructions, she ran over to the corner of the room and turned up the volume on the radio for background noise, and “Cherry Pie” by Warrant filled the walls of the room.

Scully swiveled in her seat to face Mulder who was wearing a knowing grin on his face. “Isn’t this song about cunnilingus?” she asked.

“Cunnilingus, so technical, Scully,” he teased.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Isn’t this song about eating pussy?” she deadpanned.

His eyes widened at her vulgarity and his smile widened. “My, my,” he admonished jokingly, “Yes, this a pussy-eating anthem. This is a totally inappropriate soundtrack for a sexual harassment seminar isn’t it?” he laughed as she mentally recovered from hearing him say pussy-eating.

She cleared her throat and tried to resume a semblance of professionalism. “So, number one, um-”

“Your partner touching your penis without permission.” She glared at him and he added, “Kidding, kidding.”

“I’ll write inappropriate touching,” she stated, humor lacing her voice as he wrote the same thing on his paper.

She looked up and caught him glaring at another man sitting across the room. “What?”

“Let’s add leering and ogling,” he growled in irritation, writing the words down as if he had a personal vendetta against them. She turned around and saw he’d been glaring at an older agent who, upon seeing her, winked and puckered his lips in a mock kiss.

She turned back around to Mulder’s irritated glare and stated, “For good measure add inappropriate gestures and comments for number three.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered sincerely as they wrote down the answer.

“I told you already. It was obviously an acciden-”

“Not that.” She looked at him expectantly for an explanation and he continued, “That you have to deal with men like him.”

“What? Men who flirt with me? I’m partners with a man like him,” she teased, finishing the last few words of the third answer. She noticed he hadn’t moved and looked up to see a face of stricken hurt.

She realized instantly that he hadn’t taken it as a joke and thought she was sincerely implying he was anything like the other men in the room. She set down her pen, put her hand on his bicep, leaned into him, and vehemently reassured, “Mulder I was kidding, I’m sorry. That wasn’t funny. You’re nothing like the men who harass me. I enjoy it when you tease me, please don’t be upset. I’m sorry.”

“You’d tell me if I crossed a line, right?” he asked.

“I’ll never need to,” she promised. His face lit up in surprise and she realized her phrasing had, yet again, been misconstrued. She meant that she knew he’d never do anything to make her uncomfortable, that she trusted him, but the way she said it made it sound like she was implying he could do anything to her and she’d like it. Which wasn’t a lie, but it was still bold of her to say.

“You enjoy it when I tease you?” It was a question, but he said it like a statement, like he was toying with the idea in his head. She realized then just how close she had leaned into him and she didn’t want him to see her get flustered.

So instead she decided to alleviate the budding tension by going back to her paper and writing “Teasing partner on purpose,” under number four, speaking it aloud so he knew what she was writing.

He barked out a laugh and wrote it down on his too. Then they both stopped and stared at their papers for a moment before looking at each other, “Is it bad I’m having a hard time thinking of another one?” he asked sheepishly.

It was only five, it shouldn’t have been so hard. “Ummm,” she pondered out loud. Before they could reach a conclusion, the woman called time and was asking for volunteers. “No physical contact between partners.”

Mulder and Scully looked at each other and scoffed at the vague answer. Of course partners would touch, that was just a part of the job. “That’s exactly right!” the seminar lady declared, making both their attentions snap to her in confusion. “There is no reason for partners to have physical contact unless it’s an emergency. Touching of the arm, the small of the back, even if well intended, is too familiar for colleagues.”

When she mentioned the small of the back she felt hers burn. That was Mulder’s designated area, he touched it every time they entered or left a room practically, and she literally was just touching his arm a minute ago. She tried to remember other partners she saw around the building and she started to realize she actually didn’t see any of them close. She hadn’t really realized they were doing anything out of the ordinary.

She picked on someone else and they confidently stated, “No phone calls outside of work hours.” Now she felt Mulder’s discontent with that one. If she looked at her phone bill she was positive 80% of her incoming calls would be from him and plenty were off hours. She didn’t quite understand how that was sexual harassment though.

“Great example. Phone calls after hours usually have an ulterior motive of intimacy that the recipient might not appreciate.” Mulder looked over to her, slightly concerned and she shook her head in reassurance that she did not find his calls invasive.

There were several more examples that followed: No adjoining hotel rooms, never buy something for your partner, hugging was against the law, agents should only be seen by other agents in professional attire, never meet up outside of work, never consume alcohol in the other’s presence, respect personal space, etc. Mulder and Scully just sat there in stunned silence. They thought it was bullshit, but they broke every single one. Every. Single. One.

Mulder leaned over to her so he could whisper in her ear, “We may as well have been having sex in the office and we’d be just as guilty as we already are apparently.”

She felt her face flame up at the bluntness of his words and the way his warm breath tickled the shell of her ear and the hollow of her neck. She turned to smirk at him, but was interrupted by a harsh, “Excuse me!” She jolted upright and looked at the front of the room only to see everyone was looking at them, making her face flame up even more. “That��s a prime example of why we’re all here today.”

She turned around to look behind her to see if there was an unfortunate soul behind her that was the center of attention, but alas, it was definitely directed at them. “What do you mean?” Mulder asked.

“You were all over her,” the woman, whose name tag read Kimberly now that Scully was actually looking at her.

“No he wasn’t,” Scully shot back.

“But they’re married, so it’s different” a man in the front row stated as if it was obvious.

“No we’re not,” they exclaimed in unison.

“Why were you invading her personal space?” Kimberly asked.

“I was not invading her personal space.”

“Look at how red her face is, you clearly made her uncomfortable.”

“No, he didn’t,” Scully spat, irritated that her face was probably only getting more red under the attention.

“Weren’t they caught having sex in the elevator?” someone whispered loudly.

“That’s it,” she barked, making a hush fall over the murmurs. She stood up and made a show of pulling Mulder up with her. “First of all, we shouldn’t have to be here. Second of all, physical touch or proximity,” she grabbed Mulder’s shoulder for emphasis, “Is not sexual harassment. Most of what you’ve said isn’t. You’re being ridiculous. We have the highest solve rate in the Bureau, so if someone has a problem with us leaving, report it to A.D Skinner.” She grabbed Mulder’s wrist and pulled him out with her, leaving the room in stunned silence.

She pulled him all the way to the elevator that got them into this situation and didn’t let go until she slapped the basement button. She started to calm down when they were in the seclusion of the elevator and she glanced at Mulder to gauge his reaction. It was unlike her to overreact like that, but, since her relationship with Mulder was the most important thing she had right now, she didn’t appreciate people trying to poke holes in it.

She wasn’t all that surprised that he was staring at her in awe. She was about to apologize when he spoke up, “Would it be sexual harassment if I told you that was really hot?”

[boojersey]

VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like  .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful. 

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense​ is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright 

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

[headoverhiddles]

Sweet, Sweet Love [Cable x Reader Smut]

Synopsis: At a wedding held on the grounds of the X-Men mansion, Wade coerces you and Nathan into a dance. Things get steamy.

Notes: Smut smut smuuut, I love Cable and am infinitely thirsty for my metal daddy. Hope you enjoy this! Features Wade x Colossus and Negasonic x Yukio.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Ellen Phimister and Yukio Kutsuna."

Wade leans over to you, dabbing at his eyes. "I think I'm gonna cry." Beating him to the punch, Colossus blows his nose beside him, blaring like a foghorn. You were also incredibly happy-- two of the most gifted mutants at the x-men mansion, Negasonic Warhead and Yukio were getting married, now that they had graduated from the school and were 22 years old.

"They are a little young, I must admit," Colossus mentions, "But whenever they look at one another, their eyes fill with sunshine..." He sniffles, and you pass him another tissue as he sobs softly into it, "Their journey into love is only just beginning." Wade pats his shoulder, and sighs.

"What a beautiful day for a wedding. Sun's out, nobody I hate severely is here, there's no shitty criminals to fucking obliterate, the local petting zoo just got a litter of baby alpacas so there's that--"

"Hey! Asshole!" Neg shouts into the crowd, turning away from her soon to be wife, "Can you shut the fuck up for a second so I can get married?!"

Yukio giggles, and Wade waves. "I'm so proud of you sweetie!"

"As am I," Colossus nods, and Neg just rolls her eyes, ignoring them. You're half listening to Wade ranting about alpacas as your eyes drift a few rows up, to where Nathan's sitting. Nathan Summers, or Cable, had moved into the mansion a few years ago after accompanying Wade and the group back after a mission. They had come back with a kid named Russell, who was now an enthusiastic student here at the mansion.

Nathan, while a significant number of years your superior, was in Wade's inner circle, which is how you had come to get to know him. He was a gruff guy at first, but after a little time together, he had shown his vulnerabilities, his soft side, and best of all-- his sense of humour, one that closely resembled Wade's. Over the course of fighting on missions together, sharing close quarters on the way to them, chatting, living in the same mansion, you had come to appreciate not only his sensitivity, but his good looks.

If you were being honest with yourself, you would have fucked Cable years ago. His rippling muscles, strong jaw, sexy silver and black hair, all contributed to the many nights you had spent awake and horny. Wade had dropped in one night while you had been having a little "me" time, whispering Cable's name. Wade was the least opportune person to have done that.

"(y/n) I was going over your super suit, and I was thinking about the functionality. I came to the conclusion that it's fucking usel-- oh. Oh, I see. Masturbation night, is it?"

"Wade, get the fuck out."

"Was that Cable's name you were whispering just now?"

"No!"

"Well dick me down and call me Henry, you're horny for Cable."

"Wade, I swear to god--"

"His penis is half metal, you know!"

"Jesus C--"

"Actually that was a vicious lie, it's 10 inches of solid man meat, (y/n), you're gonna love it--"

"Wadegetoutofmyroomrightfuckingnowandletmefinish."

You and Wade went way back. Despite his annoying personality and testing mouth, you two used to be a close couple. When you had split, there had been no hard feelings between the two of you-- Wade may be a lot of things, but you had to give credit where it's due. He was incredibly respectful, never crossing any boundaries or throwing himself at your feet to take him back. You had remained great friends... and Wade had never forgotten your damn crush on Nathan Summers.

Suddenly, there's an uproar of applause, and you come out of your dream state, clapping along. The two young women kiss at the front, and soon, the reception begins.

The newlyweds approach, and Wade waves. "Hi Yukio."

"Hi Wade!"

You hug the two, and smile. "That was a beautiful service, guys. I'm so happy for you." They smile in thanks, and Wade pinches Neg's cheek. She begrudgingly allows it, just this once.

As Colossus talks to both of them about their plans for living arrangements, Wade turns to you, and catches your eye. He tilts his head, and you raise your eyebrows at him in question. He jerks his head to the right, where you follow his gaze over to Nathan, who's slicking back his hair casually by the refreshments table. You look back to your ex, who's delightedly fanning himself as if to express how fucking hot Nathan looks today. Like you needed him to tell you that.

The reception begins to really take off once the music starts. They hired a really good DJ, and everyone's out and mingling under the tents set up on the green courtyards of the mansion. You stand by a table, taking in the scene.

"So. Some wedding, huh?" You look beside you, and see Nathan standing there. He hands you a drink, and you accept it with a lopsided smile.

"Oh yeah. They're a cute couple."

"Seriously, they are." You chance a glance up at him, and bite your lip. He really does look good today, especially squinting from the sun. Nathan looks down at you, and smiles slightly. "You look really nice, (y/n)."

"I do?" you smirk, "Well that's a confidence booster."

"You always look good." You take a sharp breath at this, and Nathan obviously realizes what he said, opening his mouth and stammering. "I, uh... sorry, that was--"

Saving him from a shy and awkward moment, the mic is commandeered at the front of the tent.

"Afternoon, everyone. I will be taking over as your DJ for the rest of this event-- I ran the other guy through with the cake knife and dumped his stab-riddled body into the fountain!" Wade laughs loudly, and when no one joins in, he nods. "Okay. Tough crowd. I didn't actually kill him, he's just out cold. Very cold. I put him in the meat freezer, yeah."

Nathan groans, and you chuckle into your fist.

"Anywho, I really just wanted an excuse to play this early 2000s hit that pre-teens used as their rebellious I'm Listening To A Song About Sex song, a song that is guaran-fucking-teed to bring together two people who should definitely use this opportunity to screw each other's brains out-- you know who you are-- "Tonight I'm Fucking You" by Enrique Inglesias." As you debate whether or not he's talking about you, Colossus walks over, whispering something in his ear. "Excuse me, I was just informed by my meddling-- metal-ling, hah, puns-- boyfriend that I really shouldn't say fucking at a wedding, so this next song is called Tonight, I will be making Sweet, Sweet Love To You, which I think is beautiful." Colossus gives a smile and a small nod of approval, and Wade starts the music.

You wait for a 'god, I hate this song' out of Nathan, but surprisingly, he stays silent. He even begins tapping his hand against his thigh, and smiles a little, unable to resist.

"Good song," you comment.

"Yeah." After a few bars of music, he turns. "What the hell. Care to dance?"

You're surprised, but relieved. You had been debating asking him as well. He takes you out to the middle of the reception floor through the other couples, and Neg and Yukio watch you two start to dance together, giving you approving looks.

"It is getting hot and heavy on the dance floor folks, the pheromones are raging, you can SMELL the SEX!" Wade commentates, and you look over, making a slicing motion. He holds his hands up in assurance, and nods, placing the mic down.

"I didn't know you could dance this well," you smirk, dancing over close to Nathan.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me."

"Oh yeah?" you tease, "Like what?"

"Like... I used to be a soldier in my time, my favourite colour is forest green, and my favourite movie is Crazy Stupid Love."

"Three years I've been living with you, and I don't even know your favourite movie?" you gasp, "Where have I been?"

"Where have you been?" he asks, playful smile on his lips as his eyes rake over your body, and your breath leaves your lungs.

Here's a situation, been through every nation, nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do

You know my motivation, given my reputation, please excuse me I don't mean to be rude

But tonight I'm fucking you

Nathan takes your arms, and pulls you close to him, encouraging you to grind. You do, face inches apart, and he suddenly spins you so that he's behind you. You can feel him against your ass, his hard on pressing into you. You grind down against it, and you hear him grunt softly.

You turn back around, looping his arms around your waist as you loop yours around his neck. He's absolutely enthralled by your eyes, but as the next verse of the song starts, you dance away from him, swinging your hips. He blinks, biting his lips and undressing you with his eyes. Who knew a wedding reception could make two people so horny?

As the next chorus plays and the rap begins, things are getting fun. When Ludacris says, “You got that body that make me wanna get up on the floor just to see you dance,” Nathan looks you up and down with a suggestive smirk. During the next line,  'I love the way you shake that ass, turn around and lemme see them pants,' you point both fingers at Nathan, who turns around and shakes his ass for you. You both giggle, and as the last chorus plays, he picks you up, your legs hooking around his torso as he supports you. You look into his eyes and down at his lips, his hot breath on your face. You can still feel him, hard in his pants, and one hand on your back is reaching further and further down...

The song ends, leaving you two breathless and a little dazed at what just transpired. Finally, the culmination of three years of sexual tension, and all from a stupid old song. Wade comes back on the mic.

"Well! My, my, steamy. It is a wedding, so it'd be a bit of a disappointment if the married couple are the only ones that fuck tonight." Colossus slams a hand into his forehead, and Wade gasps softly. "Oh, did I do it again? Baby, I'm sorry." He turns back, and sees you two finally together, sighing happily. "Isn't it funny that I've fucked both of you guys? You're both bombshells in bed, sparks are gonna fly tonight."

"I never fucked you," Nathan frowns.

"Oh stoppit, you silver fox you."

"I never want to fuck you either."

"Look at my dirty, naughty little ex lover, so lovestruck with (y/n) that he doesn't even know what he's saying."

Nathan gives Wade the middle finger and blows a kiss to him with it as he takes your hand, and Wade makes a show of catching it. Nathan then pulls you to the side, and catches his breath. "(y/n). All that..." You wait for him to disregard it all, and hold your breath. "...do you want that?"

You look up at him. "You mean... do I want you?"

You swear you see a blush on his face, and he nods slowly. "Because it's fine if that was just for fun, I totally understand..."

"You think I'd lead you on like that?" You smirk, pulling his face down to your level. "Nathan, look at me." He does, nervously. "I've wanted you since you stepped foot in the mansion all those years ago. Now fuck me like you mean it." His eyes widen, and he takes you by the hand, leading you away from the tents.

"And away they go, it's copulating time!" Wade grins, and Colossus finally takes the mic with a scowl, shooing him away and urging him to go wake up that poor DJ.

"Forgive my boyfriend, he has a little attitude."

"That's a big fucking attitude to you!" Wade calls.

"Now that that lovely song is finished, I will bring this back to what today is all about... the brides, Ellie and Yukio." As Colossus gives a weepy speech about watching Neg grow from a plucky young warhead into a blossoming woman, you hurry inside the mansion with Nathan, who looks ready to rip your clothes off with his teeth.

You finally get to his room, and topple back onto his forest green bedsheets.

"All this time..." he breathes against your skin, "I could've been making you scream for me... and I didn't even know you wanted me back." You moan, toes curling as he pulls up your dress and massages your thighs open. "Did you think about this?" You nod feverishly as he continues. "Did you think about all the dirty shit I'd do to you once I found out how badly you wanted my cock?"

"Oh god," you gasp, pussy already aching for him, "It's all I thought of when I was around you. It was unbearable. You made me touch myself, dream about you..."

"Really," he hums, deep voice sending chills through you. "Go ahead then, sweetheart. Touch yourself." Your breath hitches, and you watch his gaze fall down to your panties, which are soaked through. He can tell, and he nods to them, so you slide them down, and dip a single finger in.

"Go ahead, be generous," he muses, watching closely, "I know you want more. Go on." A smile spreads as you add two more fingers, and begin to work them in and out, stretching and curving them inside of you as you imagine it's Nathan's cock. "Nice," he comments, beginning to take off his pants, "So nice."

You can't help it. You take your hand out, and crawl over to him, finishing his zipper and pulling his pants down. You then take down his boxers, and stare hungrily down at his hard cock, which he's since tucked up against his stomach. "You want it?" he asks, brushing some hair from your face. You nod, licking your lips. "It's all yours."

You breathe out shakily, and waste no time in ducking down, bringing your lips down over him and sucking. He groans, threading his rough fingers through your hair and softly stroking your scalp as you suck and lick the underside of his dick.

"That's gorgeous, (y/n)... everything I fuckin dreamed you'd be..." He gets that little blush again after admitting he'd been dreaming about you, but you just smile and keep deep throating him, holding his hips. As you work him, he brings his hands down to your legs, and parts them, starting to rub your clit. You moan around him, and his breath increases.

"Yeah," he mumbles, and you feel him insert two fingers into your cunt, pumping them in with purpose. He seems to know all the right spots-- soon, you're shaking and begging to come. He adds one more finger and sits you up a little more, sliding even deeper, and you suddenly come hard, moaning his name. He nudges you off his cock, and lays you down flat. He lifts your leg up to hook around him, and stares down at your naked, heaving body with an almost insecure gaze. "You're sure?"

"Very," you nod with an encouraging smile, and he smiles back, positioning himself and entering you. Your eyes roll back-- he's so big, Wade really didn't lie about it (though how exactly did he... no, not even gonna wonder.) "God, Nate, fuck me..."

He begins to pound a little harder, his balls slapping your ass as your moans grow more needy and loud. He brings the hand that isn't holding your leg up to your breast, and begins to roll it gently, taking his time to make you feel special. He kisses up your neck, across your collarbone, and finally his lips land on yours, gently kissing and pulling away, kissing and swiping his tongue across your bottom lip, repeating. His stubble scratches just right.

"Nathan, please... oh, daddy!"

Unphased by the name, he kisses you softly again. "I've got you, sweetheart," he mumbles against your lips, his strong arms encapsulating you, "Never let you go." You sigh, clutching onto his back and into his hair as you feel your second orgasm approach.

"I'm getting there," you breathe, and he nods, picking up his pace as he knows he can now. He begins to fuck you like he really means it, hammering into you so hard the bed begins to creak and hit the wall. Both of you become louder, until he's growling your name, eyes screwed shut and cock slamming you.

"O-open," you say, tilting his chin, "Open your eyes..." He does, and the intensity of your gazes and years of pent up sexual frustration releases in a single moment as you both pant each other's names and come. A few seconds go by, and he slumps on his forearms overtop of you, weight threatening to give out. He then rolls over, and you lay there too, both of you staring up at the ceiling.

"Do you want to--"

"Can I--?"

You both laugh, and just sort of fit yourselves together to snuggle, his arm wrapping around your body to keep you close.

"That was really fucking hot," you breathe, "Whew."

"It was," Nathan agrees breathlessly, "Fuck, you're sexy."

You giggle into his chest. "Sexy enough for round two?"

"Hell yes." He kisses you, feeling a hand up your ass, and pulls away when he sees your pensive expression. "What is it?"

You feign a sigh, and look toward the window, where the sun is setting on the perfect wedding day. "I'm just a little disappointed is all."

"What?" he sits up a little, worriedly looking at you. "Was it something I did? We can work on getting it right, what's--"

"No," you interrupt, "No no, the sex was amazing, I just thought your dick was gonna be half metal. Would've been quite the sight."

Nathan stares at you, and narrows his eyes with a menacing smile. "Wade told you that, didn't he?"

"Oh yes he did."

"That yappy fuck--" You roll over to straddle him, and cup his face as you kiss him into silence.

The next day, you two are walking around the mansion together. 

“So, did you two sugarbears fuck?” 

You both roll your eyes, and turn to see Wade sitting on the couch next to his boyfriend with his face buried in a newspaper.

“That is a very personal question,” Colossus whispers. 

“Hey Wade,” Nathan interrupts, and Wade looks up, expecting a “fuck you” or a glare, but Nathan just gives a gentle smile. “As a matter of fact, we did.” He winks at you, and you grin at Wade and fan yourself as Nate takes your hand in his. 

[tonydadisbestdad]

Brother Sister Secrets

Peter Parker!Sister Reader

NOT Dad!Tony

Word Count: 2,970

Request from @chloe-geoghegan1: would you be able to write a peter parker x sister reader please? Your writing is amazing!

A/N: Firstly, thank you! Second, I wrote this then rewrote this because it was too fucking sad. Then it still ended up being sad lol. So, I guess this is just what it was meant to be. Sorry!

“Why do I have to go to this stupid party again?” Peter asked you.

You rolled your eyes as you finished touching up your makeup. You looked over at your twin. “Because I think you’d have a fun time. Because Liz invited you and Ned and it’d be rude for you to not go..”

“It’s not like I have a chance with her.” He grumbled.

“You’ll never know unless you try brother dear.” You flopped down on his bottom bunk. “Come on, plus you never come with me to these things. I want you to.”

He sighed, “Alright, alright.”

You smiled and planted a big red kiss on his cheek. “Huh, red’s a really good color on you.”

“Y/N!” He shouted, getting up to steal one of your makeup wipes as you laughed at him.

When Ned arrived the three of you left, Aunt May driving you.

“A house party in the suburbs,” Your aunt said, pulling up to Liz’s house. “Aw, I remember these, kinda jealous.”

“It’ll be a night to remember,” Ned said, a big smile on his face.

You figured he meant just because it was the first time he was going to a party.

“Ned, some hats were men, you wear that hat.” She nodded her head at the end to make the point.

“Yeah, it gives me confidence.”

You really wanted May to unlock the doors.

“This is a mistake,” Your brother muttered, staring at the house. “Hey, let’s just go home.”

There was Aunt May’s concerned look, you sat back against the seat, knowing it was going to be another few minutes before you could escape. “Oh Peter, I know, I know it’s really hard. Trying to fit in with all the changes your body’s going through…”

Peter’s face dropped quickly, you almost laughed at her words, now kind of glad you didn’t miss this.

“It’s flowering now.”

Your brother nodded, his tongue ran over his bottom teeth so he wouldn’t laugh.

“He’s so stressed out lately,” May said turning to you and Ned.

“What helps with stress is going to a party. So, we should go to the party.” Ned said.

Peter unbuckled himself. “Let’s do it, yeah I’m gonna go,” he said getting out of the car, finally freeing you.

You cursed the broken lock on the inside. “Love you, May,” You called as you walked away.

“Peter,” May called and he turned back around.

You continued on though, ready to go have some fun.

God, you knew your brother was going to disappear. He did it so often now. It rather hurt your feelings.

Even Ned couldn’t get ahold of him when you both tried to call him.

So, you left Ned to it, this was your night to have fun so you were going to.

That was when you ran into Harry.

He and Peter used to be great friends, but after a falling out the two of you avoided him, and he the two of you. He never typically came to parties, so you were surprised to see him.

More surprised when he crashed into you.

“Sorry,” both of you blurted, then chuckled.

You pushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Heard from all the Penis Parker shouting your brother’s here,” he mentioned.

You rolled your eyes. “Why? You trying to start something Har?”

He held his hands up in defense. “Just surprised he was invited is all.”

“Yeah, well he disappeared. I think he bailed because he said something about getting Spider-Man to make an appearance.” You explained.

“Huh,” he murmured. “Well uh, since he’s not here can we talk?”

You arched a brow at him. “Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

He smiled, it was that charming smile he always used to give you whenever you would tag along with Peter to hang out, or when he would come over to your house and hang out. “Still as feisty I see.”

He received a shove to his shoulder as a response and a scoff. “Don’t be a jerk.”

“Oh, is that what I’m being? It’s just always been one of my favorite things about you.” He explained.

A small blush formed on your cheeks. “Is this an attempt of flirting with me?”

“Well if you only think it’s an attempt I don’t think I’m doing a very good job at it am I?” He stepped a smidge closer to you and leaned into your ear like he was going to tell you a secret. “I could just ask you to go find a quiet place with me.”

Your cheeks turned a darker shade. Your fingers ran though your hair. You were surprised, sure you had a crush on Harry forever ago, but the fact that he was showing interest in you now? It was strange. “Are you doing this because Peter was supposed to be here?”

“No,” he answered calmly. “I’m doing it because he’s not here and anytime I’d have a chance to talk to you he’s always there. I’ve had interest in you for a long time now. What do you think drove me and Peter apart?”

You looked at him surprised. You knew something happened between them, obviously. But Peter told you it didn’t matter. It was stupid and that he didn’t want to talk about it. They were no longer friends. That was the end of it.

Harry’s fingers grazed yours. “Please, Y/N?”

You nodded, had you known then that your brother was being so selfish you would have ripped him a new one. You didn’t go with him out of spite, but because you always used to have a crush on him. You weren’t going to let Peter ruin your chance again because you didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He went awol on you often enough that you were going to get something good out of ditching you. You slid your hand into Harry’s and he guided you out back onto Liz’s patio.

His lips fell on yours and all thoughts of your brother were blanketed. This just felt right.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/

When May arrived to pick the three of you up. You weren’t sure if Peter was even there. Frankly if he wasn’t and didn’t come out to the car, you’d just tell May the truth you didn’t know where he went.

Harry walked you to the door. His lips met yours and even though you spent almost an hour making out, it still sent shivers down your spine. “You gonna tell him I asked you out?”

“He keeps his secrets. I’ll be keeping this one from him.” You told him.

He lightly stroked your cheek with his thumb.

You left the house and found that your brother and Ned were already in the car.

“Took you long enough,” Peter teased from shotgun.

You didn’t answer him. Hoping he knew you were pissed at him. “Sorry, Aunt May. Needed to say bye to someone.”

“That’s okay sweetie,” she smiled sweetly at you through the rearview.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Nights Ned stayed over you went to sleep with May. So, upon getting home you went into your and Peter’s room to grab what you needed.

As you went to leave was when your brother finally spoke to you again.

“You aren’t gonna hang out for a bit?” He asked.

You looked at him with an angry arched brow before shoving past him and going to get ready for bed.

“She’s pissed you ditched the party,” Ned explained.

“That’s not my fault!” Peter argued.

“That’s not what she thinks dude. Also uh, I heard a rumor going around the party that she was making out with someone…”

“What? Who?” Peter questioned quickly.

“No clue, never caught a name…”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

There were a billion things he had to deal with. So, he decided he wasn’t going to stress over you making out with someone unless you brought it up.

You were more stubborn than your brother, though. Even if you hated that you had to keep your relationship with Harry a secret from him. It was a couple weeks later and you were getting ready for a date, tomorrow you’d be heading to D.C., without your brother, for decathlon. So, Harry wanted to take you out as a good luck dinner. You were doing your makeup when your brother came in.

He looked at you confused. “Where are you going?”

Things hadn’t been the best between you, but you tried to act normal about how upset you were with him.

“Just another party. I’d ask you to go but since you ditched the last one, I won’t bother.” You lied. You never lied to him.

“I didn’t hear about any parties this weekend,” He always kept an ear to the ground about everything, just in case, so he usually knew who was having them and when. Just so if you didn’t tell him and something happened he could easily find out if you were okay.

“It’s not like you’d go, so what’s the problem?” You finished your makeup and packed it away, knowing a fight was on the brink of starting.

He shrugged. “Nothing, just saying. I don’t believe you.” He didn’t mean to say that outloud, but he was tired of getting the cold shoulder from you. But also, because you still hadn’t told him about you making out with someone at Liz’s party.

You were shocked he’d go that far. He had to be mad at you for something Quickly gathering yourself you shrugged. “That’s on you if you don’t believe me, Peter. Maybe I’ll see you later, but I doubt it because you’re always sneaking out anyway.” You left the room before he could retaliate. Your phone buzzed in your purse, signaling that Harry was downstairs waiting in the car.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The following day turned into a nightmare.

Yes, it was great the team won. However, your brother went missing. Then you almost died with your teammates and your brother wasn’t there.

But somehow Spider-Man was.

When the elevator started to fall only you and Liz were left. He caught Liz. And in those few seconds you thought it would be your end.

But, somehow before you could realize, you were being yanked from the death trap. Spider-Man was dangling from a web, and holding you with another by your shoulder. Which was now definitely screwed up by the pain that tore through it. You couldn’t stop the scream you released.

“I-I got you, I got you hang on. Shit, shit, shit,” He sounded like he was panicking. But that wasn’t all he sounded like, he one hundred percent was your brother. And as suddenly as all of this had happened, you lost consciousness.

When you woke you were at the hospital. Your brother was pacing a trail into the floor.

The whimper that left you at the pain that was dully still there in your fixed up arm had his head snapping to look at you.

“It had to be Liz first, right? Glad you picked her over me,” you didn’t want to start this, but you were beyond past the point with him that you should be.

“W-what?” Peter asked, the confusion on his face was fake, it was an attempt at hiding surprise that you’d figured it out.

You couldn’t help but start crying. “I fucking know Peter. I know why you started ditching me, and why you just don’t care anymore. You’re Spider-Man. Don’t deny it either. Like I can’t tell that you’re my brother even with a mask on. I don’t even care. Just like you apparently don’t about me anyway! Because obviously saving the girl you have interest in is more important than me just because you’re mad at me for whatever fucking reason.”

He couldn’t decide if he wanted to be angry or not. He still felt awful for what happened. He also know that he couldn’t call you out about you keeping secrets then he’d be a hypocrite. But for some reason he did. “Yeah, well you know what? I’m not the only twin hiding secrets from the other, Y/N. I know you’re seeing someone behind my back. And I didn’t save Liz because I like her, I was trying to save everyone! I just couldn’t get you safely! Especially once it started going down, I did what I could! I’m sorry you got hurt. I’ll apologize for that, it’s all my fault! Happy?”

“Don’t you fucking dare! I was keeping that from you because you just had to go and tell him to leave me alone a couple years ago! You knew he liked me! Fuck you knew I liked him! So why did you ruin that?! And what do you mean it was all your fault? It’s not like you’re the one that broke the damn thing!”

He looked at you confused, “What do you mean I told whoever it was to leave you alone? I’ve never told anyone that!”

“You’re such a fucking liar!” You were really shouting now.

“What is going on in here?” May asked, opening the door. She had tears left on her cheeks, you knew she must have cried the entire way down here.

Harry stood behind her, worry was the only emotion he could express.

Both of you shut up.

You wiped at your face with your good hand.

Peter’s eyes widened as he realized just who you were seeing. Now he really was mad about you hiding that from him.

“Okay, right now I don’t care.” May said. “Y/N sweetheart are you okay?” She was by your side in a few quick strides.

So was Harry who set a vase of flowers on the table before kissing your forehead. Both of you tried to ignore the glare Peter sent your way.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/

That night, you and Peter lay in your bunks. The silence between the two of you was scary.

But, finally, Peter had had enough. “Of all people, you had to start dating fucking Harry?”

You were not in the mood for this at all. You would kick the bunk above you if you knew it would bother him. “You’re really going to do this?”

“Yeah, I told you he and I weren’t friends anymore, why are you suddenly with him?”

“Huh,” You muttered. “Maybe because we started talking at that party you ditched and he told me he avoided me and you two stopped being friends because he liked me. So, I told him I liked him too and it happened. I can’t believe you would do something like that, Peter.”

“He’s an asshole, Y/N. You deserve someone so much better.” He tried to reason.

It only made you more angry. “That’s not for you to decide.”

“You call me a liar but you couldn’t even tell me about it. You hid it from me.” He shouldn’t have said it, it was only going to make things worse.

“Me? Who hid that he was Spider-Man from me exactly, you hypocrite!”

“I-I’m not a hypocrite! I was trying to protect you! If anyone finds out about this they could come after you!”

You rolled your tear stinging eyes. “You told Ned.”

“Yeah, and that almost got everyone killed in that elevator!”

“What are you talking about,” You asked quietly.

“It was all my fault because Ned had this radioactive alien thing in his bag and it went through an x-ray machine and caused the elevator to break. I never meant for anyone to go through that. Especially you. I also am sorry that I saved Liz first. I-I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if anyone died, especially you, but I just… I really couldn’t get to you until I did…”

“Whatever, Peter,” You whispered. “Thanks for not letting me die. You still haven’t been a good brother lately… I miss you… and I hate fighting with you but I feel so left in the dust. You’re my best friend and you couldn’t tell me this big secret? That’s really why I couldn’t tell you about Harry, I really wanted something that was just mine since you were being so shady about where you’d go.”

“I know… it was stupid… but a-after Uncle Bed… I-I knew that these powers needed to be used to help people. I-It’s my fault he’s gone. I could have stopped it, and I didn’t out of spite for the man that murderer stole from… Uncle Ben just got caught in the middle.” He was sobbing now, not even able to get out of his bunk to tell you all that to your face.

Tears spilled from your own eyes. “That wasn’t your fault. Neither was the elevator, Peter. Really… how were you supposed to know? You weren’t. I don’t want you feeling guilty for this stuff… please… come down here?”

He moved and immediately he was getting into your bed. He hid his face in your shoulder and hugged you the best he could without hurting you.

“I’m sorry about Harry, okay? I just… I really like him and I was afraid you’d tell me not to date him. Please don’t ask me to either, and please know it wasn’t out of spite…” You pet his head with your good hand.

He nodded against you. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

You sighed. “Me too, Peter, me too.”

“But if Harry hurts you he’s getting webbed to the bottom of a bridge.”

You let out a small chuckle and kissed your brother’s forehead. “Whatever you say, Peter.”

He stayed cuddled up in your side the rest of the night. Not wanting to leave your side for as long as he could possibly manage.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

“Peter I have to pee. We aren’t 5 anymore get out,” You shoved him with your good arm to keep him from entering the bathroom.

Tags: Wanna be tagged just ask!

@manchurian-barnes, @marrvelle-fics

[occhiolismatic]

Mafia! Tony

An anon asked me about my thoughts and contributions to Mafia! Tony, sooo here we go, and he’s a long boy, which is why I decided to make this a post rather than an answer. 

Hi, yes. I’ve seen all of the mafia au content going around, and I fuck with it mad hard. So I can most definitely see Tony as an east coast mafia leader with connections all across the nation, underground networks for weapons manufacturing, and certainly organized crime for profit off such artillery. He’s literally the godfather, the don, the OG when it comes to illegal activity; run ins with the law are nothing, and the Stark enterprise absolutely doesn’t back down from keeping men silent. More specifically, Tony doesn’t back down from keeping men silent. He’s worked too hard, put too much effort into the family to have it come crashing down, and, when he stumbles upon Peter, the innocent, young male whom of which accidentally winds up in the middle of a weapons exchange, that’s why he takes him in, makes him keep Tony’s little secret on the down low. Peter’s got nothing. He’s bullied in school, kicked to the curb like dust. He doesn’t have much to his name, and all of his relatives are missing or have assets in other parts of the world, all except for New York. Peter’s by himself, and one day he’s just not having the bullying anymore, so he stands up to the pinching, the hitting and spitting, the gum in his hair and all. He’s corned in the library bathroom after hours, probably out late to work on an assignment, but he’s also blocked by the four who constantly pester him, call him Penis Parker, flush his face and shove him around like a rag doll. Bruises scatter his body from last week’s beating, and after being kicked in the shin, he tumbles forward, throwing and landing a punch on the main bully.

After that, surely the guy would do the stereotypical palm touch over the lip to wipe off the newly drawn blood that spills. He’d be surprised by Peter’s newfound confidence, and then Peter would book it, run out of there, leave the building, his backpack half open and jacket flapping as he runs away. The bullies would follow after him, and Peter might look over his shoulder as he darts into traffic, the city lights overwhelming his eyes as they try to adjust to the dark, but his sneakers scuff on the pavement and he can’t run forever. Maybe he trips and crawls into an alleyway, perhaps he just rounds the corner, his back pressed against the brick wall or the other side of a trashcan and waits for the bullies to pass by. That or maybe the boys follow him into the alley and immediately scurry. They bolt out of there, and Peter thinks he did something right, that he scared them away or frightened them in some nonexistent astral plane, but he’s wrong. Peter doesn’t realize that he just so happened to have run into the wrong alley. Of course it happens to him, to Peter Parker of all people, that he walks right into the middle of a weapons exchange. So the boys leave, and Peter gathers his breath, legs heavy, and he goes to turn around, take the alley to the back just in case his tormentors are waiting for him on the sidewalk, and right as he opens his eyes, right after readjusting his backpack straps and mentally preparing himself to go home, that’s when he quite literally bumps into mafia boss Tony Stark.

His nose pats Tony’s suit jacket, all black of course, and he’s wearing sunglasses at night, y’know because it’s his brand, and Peter stumbles backwards, hands raised because holy fucking shit this is shady as fuck. He doesn’t know what’s happening, why there’s a really attractive man in expensive looking clothing standing in a rundown alleyway, not to mention he’s accompanied by a crew of at least 5 or 6 men, bulky and strong in build, all surrounding a decked out Escalade whose windows are tinted and trunk is open. In it, stacked on top of one another, are cases and cases of artillery, weapons, guns, bombs, anything you can image that can’t possibly be bought over the counter, it was there and could be sold under the market by Tony. So you know, Peter starts stammering, and he’s terrified.

“Uh-um-“ he says, smiling sheepishly, hand raising to scratch the back of his neck as he slowly backs away. He attempts to to go, but Tony snaps and a couple of his men move behind Peter, preventing the kid from leaving, stopping him from spilling any information about the exchange. And Tony just stares at him, shifting his weight and folding his arms across his chest. He chews on the insides of his mouth because damn, he can’t hurt a kid, but he also can’t let the boy leave. Yeah Tony utilizes violence and isn’t afraid of causing damage, taking lives or supplying others with the means to do so, but the boy is cute. Silence filling the atmosphere, head tilted to the side, Tony clicks his tongue before speaking, and when he does, Peter nearly flies from his skin: “You’re a pretty kid, and I’d really, really hate to bruise that fine face of yours.”

Peter sniffles and continues back tracking until one of Tony’s brutes lays a hand on his shoulder, forcing him forward, but of course Peter struggles and fights back, shrugging off the palm, kicking when another man comes for him as well, and Peter raises his voice all h-hey! get your hands off me, all the while Tony trails after him, taking strategic, slow steps with his hands buried in his pockets. So Peter’s freaking out because these men are holding him, and Tony doesn’t like the image, his crew handling the kid before him, and although it’s nice to watch the pretty boy scuffle, Tony cuts in, slapping the men off Peter, “That’s enough.”

Taking the boy’s face in his grip, pushing his cheeks in a little bit, Peter can’t deny that he’s slightly attracted to the older man, his scent, his cologne and physique, and at the same time, this man is the very man who, seconds ago, just referred to Peter as both pretty and fine. Peter probably pees himself a little when he is forced into eye contact, when Tony ducks his dark shades down just enough for Peter to catch a glimpse of his stern expression. Tony’s serious about this ordeal, about the business, and one kid isn’t about to tear it down by revealing any classified information to the public, to the police, the feds.

“I-I’m sorry- It just, I mean- I was just,” Peter points behind himself, leaning backwards away from Tony’s face, “It was an accident, I didn’t mean to-” and Tony absolutely wants to comment about how this kid isn’t the one they were waiting for, so obviously it was an accident, but he’s too captivated, enthralled by the markings and spots on Peter’s frail flesh, the product of physical bullying. He runs a thumb over the boy’s cheek, tongue protruding from his teeth, “You got a name, kid?” It’s unexpected. Peter swallows and nods uncontrollably, his arm absently grabbing onto Tony’s wrist. Now normally Tony wouldn’t let that slide, as evidenced by the jutting forward of his men at the sudden contact, but Tony shakes his head swiftly waves them off. “Well?” Tony demands, voice deep and raspy, waiting to know what to call the boy in his hands.

“I-I’m, I’m Peter.” 

And after that Peter is almost positive he’s going to be killed or kidnapped, never to see the light of day again, but Tony does the unexpected and lets the boy go. It doesn’t take long for them to have another run in though, and this time it’s with the bullies. Tony’s prancing the streets during the day, out and about on daily business, mafia related or not, and at that point it’s Tony who runs into Peter, only this time in a crowd full of people with the bullies attacking Peter’s helpless body. And Tony’s not stupid, he knew the first time that this kid had been running from oppressors, so he just rolls up to the curb, steps out of the car, and the boys are intimidated. He’s not alone, but he also isn’t anticipating Peter at the middle of the brawl. Though pained, he doesn’t have to shoo the boys away because they run like pussies, and Peter lays curled on the pavement, arms over his head and hands over his face because shit man, he was just getting the worst beating of his life. Peter crawls forward, and, if he hadn’t been winded before, he certainly becomes speechless when he peers up at the man from the other day. He doesn’t know his name, but the look in his eyes and the men forming behind him scream that it’s the same man, and Tony just looks at him with the smallest soft spot for Peter’s angelic, little face. Giving him no choice, he just blurts out, “Let me help you.” 

So Tony keeps the bullies away, and on multiple occasions Peter runs into the man. He still doesn’t know his name, until one day he cracks and asks. He asks what he does, why there were weapons, and more importantly, he asks for a name to call him by. Tony hesitates, because no pedestrian had ever been allowed to put two and two together, a name and a face with Tony’s, but he cracks and eventually says, “Stark, Tony Stark.”

AND. After that Peter starts pining after Tony. He thinks the man is the sexiest being in the world, and he wants to help him. He keeps his secret, promises not to tell anyone about his connections, and it gets to the point where Peter’s in such a low spot in his life that Tony brings the boy into the enterprise. He doesn’t have much power, and with his size he’s no crew member. He’s just an associate in the books, there in the administration in case Tony needs anything, and sometimes he’s the consigliere. Other times he dives into being an escort, well.. that’s the title he gives himself because it’s better than bootycall, but he’s only of use for Tony, available for him and him only, so Tony can call him up in the middle of the day or 3am on a school night, and Peter would come; he’d show up ready to emanate pleasure, to be a toy for Tony’s stressed out mind, a place for him to take out all his frustrations and anger. Yeah Tony would kill anyone if they even thought about placing a finger on his boy, but in bed he’d be so goddamn rough, he’d be the one tossing Peter like a rag dog, only he’d be doing it on his leaking cock, pounding the kid until he’s crying, until Tony’s sure someone else is listening, positive Peter belongs to Tony as his property. And Peter loves being owned, being a public possession of Tony’s. Tony is the only one who had ever called him by name, sexually or not, and that only adds to the feeling of being Tony Stark’s bitch.

Tony will come back from a night out in town, sit down in his go-to chair, and Peter will come out of no where, lay across his lap, straddle and give the older man a lap dance. He’ll grind down and out, run his hands along Tony’s chest and arms, and Tony will melt, kissing his boy’s neck and collarbones, groaning when Peter lowers himself onto his dick, touching the bulge building in his pants and breathlessly panting in Tony’s face. Peter would rub him down good, tease him just right, and then remove himself, get up and trot round the chair. There’d be a lot of tie and hair pulling, and don’t even think about the level of bdsm in this. Bondage? With Tony’s skillset would be so elegantly done. Peter would absolutely strip for Tony, ring a tie around his neck and pull him in close as the older man holds his tiny waist. Can I get Peter dropping low to the floor, wiggling his ass, taking his sweet time because he knows Tony loves to watch. Formal deals where the customer meets Tony in his office? And Peter sucks him off from under the desk, Tony forcing the kid’s head down when he senses hesitation stemming from nervousness. There would be a lot of skull fucking, steamy sex and rough kissing, but Tony actually cares for this boy. He would do anything to protect him, keep him safe from danger, and if Peter ever got hurt because of Tony’s name, he’d never forgive himself.

And when Peter asks his boss to get rid of a man bothering him, it’s almost hard to believe he’s the precious, bullied kid from the alleyway.

[standbyyourmantis]

Business & Pleasure - International Affairs Part 7

Hey, sorry I’ve been quiet. I got the worst cold of my life right before Christmas and it didn’t go away until almost New Years. So basically I’ve just been coughing basically non-stop. I’d take bronchitis again over this.

Anyway, this is tagged for: a continuation of the pearl necklace from the last chapter, forced orgasms, nipple play, extremely consensual bondage, anal play, and warm fuzzy feelings. Also there’s some actual penis in vagina sex in this one! I know, I was shocked, too.

ON AO3

Belle had done a lot of kinky things in public, but never like this during the day. Something about letting him parade her through the lobby with her arms bound behind her back thrusting her chest forward with the come drying in her clavicle was so damn filthy she could barely walk. She should be humiliated, she should be nervous, but instead all she could think was how much she just wanted to throw herself on the floor and be fucked right there next to the concierge desk until she was too exhausted to move anymore. Instead, though, she let him sit her on his lap and hand feed her toast points and fruit in full view of the entire room. She was a kept woman, a lap pet, and a fuck toy and it was obvious to anyone who cared to look.

Belle could feel herself flush down to her chest, which she was sure just made his come stand out even more. The whole thing just made her even more horny which she didn’t think was even possible anymore. People were watching, but even worse was that some people weren’t. Her complete submission to him was only marginally more interesting in this place than a cup of coffee or their fresh squeezed orange juice. She needed his attention, but she also wanted the attention of the room – wanted them to whisper and call her a slut, to understand that she belonged to this man in this way and that she would do anything he asked of her.

Tink had waved casually on her way out of the dining room and shot her a wink, and Belle caught her first glimpse of the couple she was there with. The woman had long blonde hair and the man was broad shouldered and handsome, and Belle truly hoped there’d be time to get better acquainted with them later.

After breakfast, he led her out to the beach again and returned to the cabana they had sat at the day before. It occurred to her that he’d probably reserved it for them ahead of time, and she felt so pleased at his foresight and commitment to making this a special trip for her.

“Would you like to go swimming?” he asked as he kicked his shoes off under one of the beach chairs.

“Yes, Mr. Gold,” she said automatically. She mostly just wanted to be with him, though. Especially if he was going to take half his clothes off and go for a swim with her. He stripped off his linen shirt and trousers, folding each carefully and laying them on the chair above his shoes. He turned her around by her shoulders and untied the strap at the back of her neck, letting the dress fall to the ground.

“Step out of your dress,” he said, and when she obeyed he crouched down and untied the ribbons that held her wedge sandals onto her feet before collecting her cast-off dress and laying it next to his clothes on the chair. “Now, walk down to the shore and wait for me.”

It was all she could do to keep her composure as she waited with her hands tied behind her back for him to meet her. The waves lapped at her feet, and finally she felt his hands on her shoulders as he came up behind her and stroked them gently. He was so careful of her once they were in the ocean, staying right at her side so she didn’t lose her footing and slip under the water. He held her and let her float, and if it hadn’t been for the erection pressing tight against her thigh she’d never have known anything was out of the ordinary. If she could have gotten her hands free, she’d have stroked him and tried to get him off right there, but all she could do was wiggle against him and hope he took her invitation.

After they swam for awhile, he dressed them both again and took her for a walk past the hammocks where he’d driven her so insane the day before. They passed a man getting a blowjob from a topless woman and another where a couple was using it as a sex swing to allow the woman laying languidly on it to rock back and forth on her partner’s cock. Belle couldn’t help the little bit of envy she had at seeing that, but it was tempered by the knowledge that she’d be fucked even better once Dorian saw how good she could be for him.

Lunch was room service, followed by a quick rinse in the shower and a nap in nothing but the rope and chastity belt. She woke up first, and her first inclination was to try and get her mouth on him and see if she could lure him into letting her suck his cock but she had been so good all day she just wanted to get this denial over with and get her reward. He’d promised the playroom if she was good, and she wanted it desperately. So, instead, she contented herself with fantasies of all the debauched things she hoped to receive there as she waited for him to wake up. It had been so long since she’d gotten to fuck another woman, and he hadn’t fucked another one in front of her since Ariel left. It had really been a perfect arrangement – Belle liked women and she liked men, she liked Ariel and she liked Dorian, and they had worked well together even if neither one liked the other as much as they liked her.

At last, she felt him stir and she tried to relax herself as much as she could, as though she were afraid he’d be able to read the direction of her filthy, filthy thoughts. He smiled when he saw her lying there so obediently, and stroked his hand down her cheek to her shoulder and arm and then down to cup her ass affectionately.

“How are you holding up?” he asked. “Answer me truthfully.”

“Very good, Mr. Gold.”

“Yeah? Nothing too tight?”

She shook her head as well as she could. “Perfect.”

He hmmed and sat up, trailing his fingernails up and down her thighs idly in a way that made her squirm.

“Do you know why we’re doing this punishment?” he asked her.

“Because I was a demanding slut?” she replied, though truthfully she wasn’t entirely sure what he was looking for her to say.

“It’s more than that,” he replied, obviously trying to prompt her to come up with some elaboration on the topic. When she didn’t, he caught one of her feet and tickled it lightly. She whimpered and tried to focus on the question, but all she could focus on was trying not to kick her foot and squirm away from him. “Still no idea?” he asked as he worked on the arch of her foot in a way that made her shriek in laughter.

“No, sir,” she forced out as calmly as she could.

“It’s important that you obey perfectly while we’re here,” he said at last, giving her another tickle that had her bucking on the bed. “There are strangers and variables that can’t be controlled here, so for your safety I need to trust that you can be controlled or I won’t take you into those situations.”

It made sense, and she’d have told him that had she been able to speak through the tickling, but instead she just whimpered in what she hoped was agreement as she squirmed and flailed under his ministrations. This shouldn’t be as arousing to her as it was, and yet she soon found herself pressing her legs together as well as she could and just surrendering to the fact that he had her so completely helpless.

Finally, he released her foot and she instantly relaxed, trying to get her breathing back under control. He pet her legs and skimmed his fingers across the swell of her ass while she settled down.

“I promise I’ll listen, Mr. Gold,” she said once she could trust herself to speak again. “I’ll be so good for this whole trip.”

“That’s my good girl,” he replied. “Is there anything else you’d like to do before dinner? After that I’m afraid you won’t have that much free time.”

What she really wanted was for him to fuck her hard and maybe invite over some other people from the hallway to help because she wasn’t sure that she could be satisfied by just one good, hard, fucking, but she needed him to know that she was taking this seriously. He’d been right, she was trusting him with her safety and in order for him to do be able to protect her she would need to be controllable in a way she rarely was at home where she was always safely in his possession.

“I just want to be with you,” she said at last. “Without clothes, like when we’re at the cabin.”

She wanted a reminder of how she pleased him when it was just the two of them alone, and this was the best way she knew to do it. He smiled and petted her hair back off her face.

“Whatever you like, sweetheart,” he replied. “Anything at all.”

 They spent most of the rest of the afternoon with her curled up in his lap on the porch, and sometimes he teased her nipples but for the most part he just held her and they talked. It was the most relaxed she’d been since they arrived at the resort. He was taking care of her, and he would take care of her as long as she needed him to. It was exactly the reminder that she needed of how much she wanted to be with him.

Eventually, it was time to get ready for dinner and he dressed her in a strapless pink lace dress that was cut so short she couldn’t really bend over in it (if she’d been able to bend over at all after he fitted her with the larger dildo and plug that she’d worn to dinner the day before and bound her arms behind her back again). She was hand-fed at dinner, and it was all she could do to resist kneeling at his feet while he did it. Maybe she’d ask him for that tomorrow, but for right now she was enjoying befriending Tink and her partners Kathryn and Fred. It was overall a very pleasant dinner, until he shut the door to their room after dinner and the entire energy of the evening changed.

Belle wasn't sure she could take much more teasing today, but the sun had finally set during dinner and he had promised her that of she was good she would be rewarded. Once they were finally alone, he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her over to stand at his knees

“How do you feel, sweetheart?”

His question set her brain buzzing as she tried to formulate an answer. She was a little sore, extremely aroused, very ready to have enough orgasms that she could forget her name, and eager to please.

“So good, Mr. Gold," she said at last. He smiled at her and settled his hands on her hips possessively, kneading her flesh in a way that said he knew exactly what he wanted to do to her.

“Are you now? Does that mean you're ready to behave yourself at last?”

“Yes, sir. Can I show you how obedient I can be?" She said the last with a lick of her lips, hoping he'd order her to her knees so she could burn off some of her energy before they got back into public, but he didn't. Instead, he pulled the sides of her chastity belt up, driving the plugs deeper into her and making her eyes roll back into her head with the pleasure of it.

“I think you've just about learned your lesson, haven't you?” All she could do was nod, words weren't coming easily. “Alright, then I think it's time to get you ready to show everyone what an obedient little whore you are.”

He released her and produced the key to her chastity belt from his pocket, unlocking the padlock at her waist and slowly guiding it out of her. It felt awful being so empty, all she could think of was how much she wanted to be full again – it felt so, so wrong.

“We’re going to the playroom tonight,” he said authoritatively in a way that made her stomach do flips. “You’re going to be an orgasm slut tonight. You can have as many orgasms as you are given by whoever wants to provide you one, but if they tell you to ask for the orgasm you have to do it. I won’t let anyone fuck you this time, but your pussy and ass will both be used. Are you okay with that?”

She felt the blood rush to her cheeks at the thought. It was exactly what she’d been wanting all day, and had the potential to be very much worth the wait he’d put her through. “Yes, Mr. Gold. I’d love that.”

“All right, then. Let’s get you dressed.”

He put her back in the cupless bra and fit the snake-head nipple clamps onto her erect nipples, and then spun her around to untie her arms. Once she was free, she was surprised she couldn’t quite control them correctly at first, so she could really only wait while he guided her into a short silk bathrobe and tied it loosely around her waist. The shoes he gave her were second only to the ballet boots in the least practical footwear she’d ever worn, strappy gold sandals with a stiletto heel that was so high that she was practically on tip-toes wearing them. He finished by locking them onto her ankles with a tiny padlock. While she could walk, she was essentially at his mercy and she knew that had been his whole point in choosing them. Once she was dressed, he packed some toys into a bag for her and then slung it over his shoulder and escorted her out into the hallway.

She wasn’t the only one in the hallway in a state of undress, and riding the elevator with a man and woman both in full latex fetish wear did nothing to help her poor empty pussy feel less neglected on the way down.She followed Mr. Gold where he led as he directed her out the door of the lobby and through to a small side building with tinted windows and people entering. She felt so out of place and vulnerable as soon as they entered the building and she saw the sheer volume of submissives in that place. Nobody would ever pay attention to her with all these others to distract them. Still, she would have Mr. Gold and that was the important part.

He guided her to a padded bench with metal rings dangling from the side of it and a wedge pillow on top and he helped her up onto it with her hips right at the highest edge of the wedge. Once she was in position, he tied her wrists over her head before moving around to tie her legs open at the other edge of it. He stayed between her legs and untied the sash of her robe, spreading it open around her and leaving her completely exposed to the room. He reached into his bag and removed a wand vibrator, a bottle of lube, a textured glass dildo, and an anal dildo with ridges up and down the length of it. These he set out on the bench next to her along with a permanent marker which he uncapped and wrote the words make me come on her torso. He also lubricated her ass with his fingers, which just made her stomach tighten in anticipation. He really did intend for her to be worked over in this room tonight.

She could feel him writing something else on her thighs but couldn’t make the words out, and then suddenly she felt him cupping the head of the wand vibrator over her vulva and all memory of what he’d been doing flew out of her head. She’d been kept on edge for over a day, and he was so good at using her that she didn’t even have time to enjoy it before she was tumbling over the edge with a screaming orgasm that had her toes curling in her shoes.

Mr. Gold stroked her legs as she came down, and then he took the marker back from his pocket and made a short little line on her torso before coming around to stand at her face with his hands on her shoulders affectionately.

After a few moments, a strange man came over and rubbed her knees gently, reading over the writing on her body before gesturing towards the toys as if to ask may I? Dorian nodded, watching both Belle and the stranger as he chose the anal toy and started probing her ass with it slowly. She couldn’t contain the whimper as the stranger slid the toy in to the hilt and then pulled it back out of her. He seemed more curious than anything, and was playing with her almost distractedly. Eventually he slid it out almost all the way and then shoved it back in all at once, making her squeak with surprise and look up to Mr. Gold for reassurance. It didn’t hurt, and when he began really fucking her with the toy she forgot even being startled and simply lost herself in the pleasure of it all.

After a few minutes there were fingers in her pussy, and it wasn’t until they didn’t know exactly where to touch her to make her come that she remembered it wasn’t Mr. Gold doing it, but somehow it still felt like him. He was all she could see as she laid on her back and was pleasured by this other man, and it felt like he was doing it to her. This orgasm this man was going to take from her body still belonged to Mr. Gold, regardless of its source.

The stranger studiously avoided her clit, but even so she was eventually overwhelmed by an orgasm at his hands, but it was still Mr. Gold whose eyes she was looking into as it happened, and Mr. Gold who added another short line to the one he’d already placed on her torso, only now did she realize he was marking off her orgasms. After her orgasm, the stranger lost some interest in her, leaving the toy in her ass and saying something to Mr. Gold before wandering off to join his group again.

She barely even bothered to look at the next man to come up and touch her, this one just seemed interested in seeing how many orgasms he could pull out of her and how fast he could do it, and four more hashmarks were added to her tally before he finally left.

Belle was starting to lose herself in the moment in such a pleasant way by the end of it, but Mr. Gold stopped the domme who had come up to her and stroked her arms and patted her face until she settled back into her body and he let the woman come over.

The woman leaned over Belle, drawing her attention to her face and it took Belle a moment to recognize Tink from earlier. “I need you to pick a number between one and ten,” the woman said in a sweet voice.

Belle couldn’t quite focus on the question, stumbling over numbers in her head before finally blurting out “seven.”

“Okay, that’s how many fingers are going inside of you.”

Belle barely had time to be excited at that prospect before the dildo was out of her ass and she could feel Tink sliding fingers into her. Belle had no idea how this was going to work, she’d certainly been fisted before but seven fingers was a lot in any event.

“There’s one and two,” Tink counted out as the first two fingers went into her ass and Belle was grateful again for the plugs she’d been wearing the whole trip. Any other time, this would have been a much different prospect. “Three…” Tink continued, and Belle felt the fourth begin to probe her asshole as well, eventually leaving only her thumb outside as Tink whispered four. It was all Belle could do to focus on Mr. Gold at the unexpected pleasure of what this other woman was doing to her body.

The other three went into her pussy, and soon Tink was thrusting in and out of both holes in turn, always keeping Belle full as she worked. It felt like it wouldn’t ever stop, and she desperately didn’t want it to stop, but she also desperately wanted to come despite the six lines on her belly signalling how well she’d already been pleasured tonight.

“Please can I come?” Belle asked at last, unable to resist begging for what she needed.

“Oh my, you didn’t tell me you were a slut,” Tink said playfully. “Haven’t you already had enough orgasms for the night? What was it, six?” Belle could see Mr. Gold smiling wryly between the two women, obviously enjoying what was being done to Belle almost as much as she was.

“Answer her, Belle,” he said when Belle wasn’t able to answer through the sensations filling her.

“Yes, ma’am,” Belle finally forced out.

“And you want me to make you come again?”

“Yes...please yes.”

“Such a greedy little cunt,” Tink said scoldingly, pulling the hand from her pussy and slapping Belle’s clit hard before sliding her fingers back in and stroking up to Belle’s g-spot. “It’s a wonder you’re ever allowed in public.”

It was so much sensation and somehow just not quite enough to get her off, and Belle was going to go mad from the wait if she didn’t get another orgasm at this woman’s hands. Everything she was doing felt so, so good.

“If I give you an orgasm what will I get in return?” Tink asked, obviously teasing but Belle was suddenly on high alert. The idea of reciprocation was something she would be very interested in once Mr. Gold was amenable to it, and she looked up to him for permission before responding.

He smiled at her and nodded, waiting for her to smile back before he responded to the inquiry for her. “I’m sure we can arrange something for tomorrow. She’s quite an accomplished oral slut and I don’t mind you borrowing her for, oh, say, a half hour per orgasm?”

Belle wouldn’t have needed Tink’s permission anymore to come, but the woman immediately brought her thumb to tease Belle’s clit, quickly drawing another orgasm out of her which Mr. Gold marked on her torso. She’d expected Tink to stop here, but instead she kept going, forcing Belle’s body through another orgasm immediately. She was sure she’d die of overstimulation at that point but the blonde still didn’t relent and Belle was on the verge of begging for mercy when finally her body managed to shudder through her ninth orgasm of the evening. Belle fell limp against the wedge after the aftershocks wore off, and she felt Tink wiping her fingers on her thighs.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Belle,” the other woman said teasingly. “I think that’s going to be the best ninety minutes of the week.”

She wondered idly if Mr. Gold would regret his offer on her behalf but he was still looking at her possessively and she loved the way he was touching her so much she couldn’t worry about that yet. Instead, she just watched him, feeling sex drunk and tired, and so spent she could barely think straight, but still somehow needing more.

“Are you ready to keep going?” he asked her once she’d come down a bit and she nodded.

She could feel the next person coming up, but didn’t even bother looking at the next few people to use her. There were fingers inside her and someone toying with her nipples. There were spankings that made her shout. Some people used toys, some used floggers, some made her come and some didn’t bother, simply using her for their own purposes. One dominant had a submissive wearing a dildo gag who fucked her through an orgasm, but by and large they were just a mass of hands and fingers and toys that were demanding of her pleasure. By the end, the only words she could remember were yes and more, and she’d completely lost track of how many orgasms she’d had although Mr. Gold had been right there the whole time and marked each one for her.

Finally, there were no more strangers touching her, he waved the last one off and just stroked her arms and shoulders as she settled back down to Earth. She’d never felt more relaxed in her life, and when he leaned down to kiss her softly on her lips she couldn’t help the soft sigh that escaped her at the tenderness of it. He really was perfect, and she would need to remember to tell him that when she had the energy to speak again. At length, he kissed her forehead.

“Are you ready for your reward, sweetheart?” he asked her, and she’d been sure she’d already been rewarded plenty but she just nodded in the affirmative in the hopes of more pleasure to come. “You need to ask for it,” he continued, flicking one of her nippleclamps just hard enough to make her jump. “Out loud.”

The jolt of pain-pleasure that radiated out from her nipple had brought her back even more and rekindled the low burn of desire she’d felt for him since they got on the plane. “Please, Mr. Gold. I’ve been good, please let me have it.”

“Good girl.” He practically purred the words into her ear and gave her shoulders an affectionate squeeze before moving around to be between her legs. She’d almost thought herself beyond physical pleasure at that point, but as soon as his fingers started to trail down her thighs she knew she’d been wrong. She wanted so much more, and she wanted it at his hands.

He brushed the knuckles of his right hand across her labia and then dragged his thumb through her folds. If she could have moved her arms and legs, she was sure she’d have floated off the wedge he had her propped up on but instead she just pulled helplessly against the straps as she tried to arch her body into him.

Mr. Gold seemed pleased by her reaction, and his left hand went up to cup her breast as his right hand teased her labia. The combination of pleasure at his touch and the shocks of pain from the nipple clamp still firmly affixed to her nipple amplified each other deliciously until he finally circled her clit with his thumb and she gave up on trying to focus and just surrendered herself to the sensations. No sooner was she starting to feel herself drifting into that sea of pleasure when she was shocked back to reality by a soft spank on her breast that pulled her back to reality.

“Not yet, beautiful,” he said firmly. He brought his right hand from her pussy to her left breast and started massaging both of them, rubbing his thumbs across her aching nipples and almost admiring the way her flesh rose up between his fingers as he squeezed. At length, he finally moved his hands back to her hips and leaned down. It was good that he was holding her in place, because when he brought his lips around her clit and started teasing it with his tongue she knew she’d have bucked up away from him if she’d been able to. He was everything to her in that moment.

She couldn’t help bucking her hips as he pleasured her, and eventually he settled with his left arm wrapped around her hips and holding her in place as he started fucking her with the fingers of his right hand. She held nothing back from him, letting everything he was doing flood her body until she was screaming his name as an orgasm ripped through her hard, leaving her shaking as he teased her over the edge.

Even through the exhaustion, she still couldn’t help feeling bereft when his lips and fingers left her as she was still trembling through the aftershocks.

“One more,” he said firmly and she barely had time to register the words when she suddenly felt his cock probing at her entrance. Yes this was what she had been waiting for, the thing she’d most wanted and the thing she’d thought he was going to make her go without tonight. He didn’t thrust in, and it took her a moment to register that even now he was still waiting for her consent in this.

“Please, Mr. Gold,” she said in a voice that was trembling with desire even to her own ears. “Please please please yes.”

They were the only words she could manage anymore, but they were enough and soon he was thrusting into her in long, slow strokes that felt like they reached all the way to the deepest parts of her soul. Once he’d settled into a rhythm, his hands went to her breasts and cupped them sending that same delicious ache through her body as he fucked her. The angle she was at forced his cock into her g-spot on each and every thrust, and that combined with the pressure still on her breasts and nipples was dragging her relentlessly towards one final orgasm. She could feel herself teetering on the edge, unable to force herself past that precipice and almost crying with the frustration of not being able to come for him when that was all she wanted to do.

He was thrusting erratically and she was tensed with the need and sure she’d never finish when suddenly he pulled the clamps from her nipples. The sensation of the pressure being released had a two-fold effect as blood rushed into them and she felt the flash of pain at the loss of them. The effect sent her plunging over the precipice into the hardest orgasm of the night, she wasn’t even aware of him spilling inside of her until he was leaning over her with his hands on either side of her hips and his head bowed as he caught his breath. It was a feeling of completeness to have him here inside of her for as long as she could keep him.

Finally, he pulled his cock out of her and tucked it back in his pants, and Belle felt herself go completely limp. She had no energy left in her at all, and she just waited as he untied her legs and arms.

“You ready to sit up?” he asked her, and she could just barely manage to shake her head no. “Okay, that’s okay.” He leaned over her and picked her arms up, putting them over his shoulders and wrapping his arms behind her back. “Come on, sweetheart, follow me.”

She tried her best to hold onto him as he lifted her up, but her whole body was shaking from exhaustion when she tried so she ended up letting him carry her to a bench along the wall, where he cradled her in his lap as she rested against his chest and watched the room. A few people had been watching her show, but after he’d moved her to the wall those people wandered off to other groups.

The most interesting performance at the moment seemed to be two women facing each other with their nipples, and tongues clamped so that the chains between them were connected to each other, locking the two of them together face to face. A domme circled the two, providing instructions and an occasional slap with a riding crop, ensuring their backs remained straight and legs remained spread open as a man forced orgasms onto one of them with a wand vibrator and his fingers. Both of the submissives were trying hard not to move too much as the man moved the vibrator to the other one in turn and the domme focused her attentions on the one who had been coming previously. They were so beautiful like that, bound together and drooling on their breasts as they were teased further and further into that blissful level of pleasure that only this experience could bring.

She couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy, even if she’d already been fucked so well for so long that she couldn’t stand. She never wanted to be anywhere but in this room again, because here she could be exactly the person she was always meant to be with the man she wanted to be with forever. The thought was staggering and made her want to snuggle deeper into him to stay there. She was the happiest she’d ever been in her life, and he was the cause of it.

“Are you okay?” he asked, petting her hair back off her face.

“Yeah. Just thinking about how happy I am and how much I love you,” she said honestly. She was far past the point where she could have managed to play it cool, anyway. “And how beautiful those two are.”

“Not as beautiful as you,” he said earnestly. “But I can see if we can arrange something like that if you’d be interested.”

“Very interested. I wouldn’t mind sharing you like that.”

He was such a good dom, and he was so good at letting her live out her fantasies she definitely wanted to share him with another submissive, at least once. Just to see what it was like. As much fun as Ariel had been, it had been a domme that he was sharing her with, and she wanted to return the favor.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he said after a few more moments. “It’s time to get you in bed.”

She let him guide her to her feet and then promptly fell back to the bench. He seemed to realize as soon as she did that she was too worn out to manage walking in the shoes he’d put her in, and it was almost gallant how he immediately went down on one knee to unlock the little padlocks that held them on her feet so that he could take the shoes off. He held them in one hand as he helped her back up and then tied her robe around her waist, and guided her back towards the hotel. Dorian had to halfway carry her back to their room, but she made it all the way to the bed on her own feet before collapsing.

“Do you want to take a bath?” he asked as he was untying the robe and prying it off her shoulders.

“I don’t think I can.” It was an odd truth to admit that she was absolutely too tired to even lay in a bath while he cleaned her up, but she had been used more times than she could count. Although…

She glanced down at her torso while he was putting her robe away. There were three groups of five hashmarks plus one extra. Adding in the two orgasms he’d given her that was eighteen. Belle was surprised to be disappointed in herself, she’d been so close to twenty.

“Just rest, then.”

She felt empty again, now that she wasn’t being used, and it took her a moment to remember the plugs he hadn’t put in her yet, and apparently wasn’t planning on using tonight.

“Mr. Gold?”

“Yes?”

“Can you...can I have my plugs back in?”

He looked at her with a little quirk of amusement on his lips. “You want me to plug you for sleep? After all that?” She nodded. “Such an insatiable slut.”

She smiled at the odd endearment and the sweetness of his voice as he’d said it. He brought the plugs and belt back and laid them next to her on the bed.

“Maybe the rope instead of the belt? And tie my hands in front tonight?”

He nodded at her request, tossing the belt aside and carefully fitting first the wider plug in her pussy before lubricating the other one and sliding it into her ass. She felt whole like this, and as debauched as it felt there was a part of her that never wanted them out again. It would be so desperate and whorish to continue this after they got back home, but they would be a constant reminder that she belonged to him. By the time he had the plugs in her and the rope around her hips holding them in place she was already on the verge of dozing off in bed, so when he scooted her into place and tied her wrists loosely in front of her she just rolled over and closed her eyes.

She felt him sitting on the side of the bed next to her and tucking her in, and the last thing she heard as she drifted off to sleep was him whispering I love you, too.

[tessatechaitea]

Team Titans #17

Team Titans is an anagram of Fuck Donald Trump.

The joke in the caption relies on regular readers knowing that I keep doing anagrams of the title except this time the anagram isn't an anagram at all! I know some people probably didn't even have to double check, especially the really observant ones who instinctively knew that "Team Titans" did not contain an "F". But the other point of that caption is to make readers who both enjoy Donald Trump and the stupid shit I write about comic books suddenly realize that they don't like what I write at all. In half a second, they'll realize how stupidly wrong they were about their opinions of this blog. In a half second after that, they'll admit that they've always thought I was a dumb asshole who has never written anything clever in his entire life. A few seconds after that, they'll probably be jerking off to another Hillary Clinton rant by Sean Hannity. We all have to face the consequences of our beliefs and actions. One of the consequences of supporting the modern GOP lampreys attached to the tits and ass fat of Donald Trump is that you don't get to enjoy myriad entertainments. Pretty much all you've got is Last Man Standing and reruns of Home Improvement. Of course, you could try to ignore what you've now learned because I probably won't mention it again for quite some time. But it's also possible I might pull at your victim status trigger again by the next paragraph! Speaking of triggers, the NRA can eat their own filthy asshole. Unless they like doing that! They seem like the kind of organization that would like doing that! And I don't mind kink-shaming people who love to eat their own filthy assholes because the Venn Diagram of people who can eat their own assholes and people who love to eat filthy assholes is nonexistent.

This whole nineties Teen Titans thing went off the rails a tiny bit when they introduced a rapist version of Nightwing with a nipple ring.

Is it weird that I have an unrepentant love for Lobo and a slightly repentant love for Deathstork but I feel like I'd be crossing a line having any kind of love for Deathwing? I get why people love Lobo because he's over the top and his space jeans craft a nice package in his nether area. Plus the chains! So penis stiffening! And Deathstork was cool enough to have gotten an underage girl he fucked killed without the entire comic book community feeling disgusted by him. I think his old age helped. Deathstork is like a beloved grandfather who tells such incredible stories from his youth that nobody minds that 23% of them are racist. But if somebody told me Deathwing was their favorite character, I'd be frightened. Although I guess they could mitigate that fright by explaining they like the Rebirth Deathwing and then I'd just be, "Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were gay. Cool!" That probably came across as me using gay as a synonym for lame but it was meant to express my feelings that Rebirth Deathwing should be a gay icon, if he isn't already. Like the Babadook. In that picture above, Deathwing is coming out of a clockmaker's closet (so maybe he's a gay icon too?), probably to rape the clockmaker (Oh yeah! He's totally rapey, so probably not a gay icon!). Now I'm wondering why Superman doesn't stop more rapes? Or why he doesn't commit himself to stopping all rapes? He could end rape forever with his powers! I guess he just doesn't have the commitment to end rape. You know how fast rape would have been stopped if Bruce Wayne's parents had been raped in that alley? Considering how many murders still happen in Gotham City even though Batman has dedicated his life to stopping injustice, I'm guessing it wouldn't have been fast at all. Batman is a huge failure. Meanwhile back at the Long Ranch, Nightrider (as opposed to Deathrider, his rapey twin), recovers from being shot by the neighbor. Granted, the neighbor also tracked down the wounded vampire to rescue him. He didn't realize he was shooting a living, feeling creature. He just thought he was killing a stupid bat! I hope no bats read this blog! They might think I'm being insensitive to bats! And, I mean, I am! But I don't want them to know that! They might start sending me memes of their creepy little faces saying things like, "Bats have rights too!" and "Bats cry more than most human males!" and "Today is the worst day of the rest of your terrible life, motherfucker!" That last one would make a good motivational poster for the lunchroom at most offices.

Wait. Is "vampire" a derogatory term?!

I just watched a Kids React video on YouTube about whether or not "hell" was a curse word. Sydney took the opportunity to say as many near curse words as she thought she could get away with. I'm pretty sure if I were young or hip or with it (which I obviously am not as noted by my usage of "hip" and "with it"), I would now use the word stan somehow. Why is there a Kids React for "How to Cure a Hangover"? What the fuck is wrong with the Fine Brothers?! Here are some more great ideas for your dumb Internet show: "Kids React to Joe Pesci's Death Scene in Goodfellas" "Kids React to Satanic Rituals" "Kids React to Seeing Their Parents Murdered" "Kids React to Goat Testicles" "Kids React to Their First Blow Job" I should stop listing these because I could do it all day and also I think some of them would actually work. The "How to Cure a Hangover" video isn't actually a Kids React; it's an advice episode featuring all ages of reactors. The first question they must give advice for is "How do I get someone to kiss me on New Year's Eve?" According to a lot of the answers, nobody seemed to give much of a shit about consent in 2016. Although my stan Sydney is all, "Get your parents to kiss you!" Oh my God she owns the world. The next question Sydney answers is "How do I touch a rainbow?" She says to get the biggest ladder in the world so she might be kind of dumb. I mean, a ladder doesn't have to be that big to touch a rainbow! Although she is just a kid so I'll let her slide on this answer. I suppose it's more important that she gives a cute answer than a correct one. For "How do I cure a hangover?", Sydney says, "Why are you asking me this question?" After which, I'm assuming, she walked off camera and kicked both Fine Brothers in the balls at the same time. Okay, back to Team Titans! The neighbor tries to apologize by explaining that he wouldn't have tried to murder the bat if he'd known it wasn't a disgusting bat. Terry Long, the worst character in a comic book full of terrible characters (and I'm including Deathwing here!), blames the victim and Terra's angst meter tops out. She goes into a blind Tumblr rage without any regard to the neighbor's apology, explaining how Nightrider was only acting on his true nature. The row disturbs Donna's baby which becomes the worst issue of the night.

"Whith"? I've never noticed Donna's weird accent before this issue! I also love how she thrusts her baby at the others to show that they've upset it.

While the majority of the team take Nightrider to STAR Labs for treatment (can't they just let him suck the baby a little bit?), Mirage and Terra stay behind to protect Terry and the baby. Well, Terra stays behind to protect them. Mirage still suffers from the trauma of being raped while none of the others seem to give a shit. She's decided to run away and have her baby somewhere else. Hopefully she won't have the baby in the town where Deathwing grew up because you know what that would mean, right?! Ugh, I can't even type it! Mirage was raped by her own time traveling son! Okay, it wasn't that hard to type after all.

Out in the yard, four elementals are approaching to kill Terra: an elemental of glaciers, an elemental of shit, an elemental of men's farts, and an elemental of lady's farts.

Over at STAR Labs, Doctor Velcro determines Nightrider's life can't be saved because he's already dead. He's a vampire! And Doctor Velcro knows because he's a not just a vampire specialist but a vampire himself! He's one of the Creature Commandos! His prescription to keep Nightrider alive is human blood. At this declaration, the rest of the Team Titans begin acting like Nightrider is a goner. So their first thought is that he's going to die if he doesn't drink human blood? Not one of them is all, "Drink from my veins, buddy! As much as you need! Well, maybe not too much! You know, just a taste! But there are like eight of us, so you can probably get your fill by sampling us all!" Fucking jerks.

The 90s had some pretty fucking nihilistic AIDS public service adverts.

As Terra protects New York as a Team Titan by defending herself against elementals that want to kill her, the rest of the Team Titans defend New York by battling a bunch of electric beings in thongs that want to kidnap Killowat. I laugh in your face, Councilwoman Alderman! Look at all the good these Titans are doing for the city! The energy beings easily kidnap Killowat because he only had the majority of the Team Titans and Battalion defending him. Terra, all alone, just barely manages not to die in her battle right before a newly human Prester Jon (back from the Terminus Agenda!) manages to save her.

This might be my favorite panel from 1994. In case you couldn't tell by his idiotic hands or his stupid baby, that's Terry Long under the clock.

The person who kidnapped Killowat turns out to be the clockmaker's old beau, the one that taught her to work on futuristic Titans' communicators. He was a member of the Team Titans named Lazarium but he seems to have been a spy working for Lord Chaos. The leader of the Team Titans (identity still unknown!) sent him and his team back in time to die. But he survived and now he owns a good chunk of the media world. His name might as well be Rupert Murdoch because he has a media empire that's trying to turn the world against heroes and he has his own sexual harassment problems in his organization, seeing as how Deathwing works for him. Team Titans #17 Rating: It took seventeen issues but I'm finally interested in this comic book! The Lazarium story arc has momentum and ties in to the overall history of the team, hopefully finally separating them from the Titans book for a bit. I know it still relies on garbage time travel theories but it also threatens to expose Killowat as a huge racist piece of shit! That should be exciting! It's also slightly heavy on implied rape which I didn't mean to add as one of the reasons I'm enjoying the book but just as a simple fact to say, "Look. This was a comic book from 1994! Rape was an important plot point to raise tension and pull on the emotional heartstrings of an audience that didn't quite understand how writers were just using rape as a lazy way of creating drama and emotional tenstion!" What I'm trying to say is: B+! Good work, everybody!

[archivistsrock]

The Boys in the Band, pt. 2: The Performance

Someone asked for a spoilery review, so I’m going to go into detail here. Maybe a mix of review, plot, and specific cute/hot things that happen during the show. I don’t really consider anything in the show to be “spoilery”, but if you’re planning on seeing this and just love surprises and not knowing anything about what’s to come...don’t read this, I guess. ;) [eta: Okay, so it seems like it’s mostly plot overview with random other observations sprinkled in. I’m not good at this! Also, I go into much more detail about the first half...it’s funnier, has more Matt, and I just peetered out]

Also, read on if you want deets on just how much Matt we see during the shower scene… :P

The general plot of the play is that Michael (Jim Parsons) is holding a birthday party for his friend Harold (Zachary Quinto). The entire play takes place in Michael’s apartment. There is an upstairs (bedroom and bathroom) and a downstairs (living room, mostly). If your seats are really close to the front of the stage, there will be some parts of the upstairs that will be blocked from your view. But they’ve cleverly placed mirrors on the ceiling, so what you can’t see straight-on, you can see in reflections. It’s not a problem at all. I was in the second row and was really worried I’d be too close and have obstructed sightlines, but I LOVED IT. You’re so close to the actors; it’s pretty amazing. I wouldn’t change my seats if given the chance. I think if I was able to see it again, I’d like to have a mezzanine seat. But I wouldn’t give up my up-close seat for the world. It was awesome. For...reasons...if you’re near the front, I think being left of center is better than to the right. Just as a tip, if you haven’t bought tickets yet.

Donald (Matt Bomer) is Michael’s best friend from college. He moved out of the city because he couldn’t handle all the people and stresses of city life. Donald is depressed. Loves to read. Likes to chill on the sidelines and just watch other people. He’s very caring. I totally dig Donald. He’s...a janitor? and works hard, but also has issues with failure that he attributes to his parents. He equates failure with receiving love. He’s known he was gay since forever. He drives into the city each weekend to see his therapist and visit Michael. He knows the other men that are invited to the party, but he isn’t in their friend group. He knows them bc he knows Michael, iykwim. He and Harold don’t seem to particularly like each other. Maybe bc they’re both best friends of Michael so there’s some competition/protectiveness?? idk. Haven’t thought about it enough.

Michael lives beyond his means. He’s also pretty depressed and has issues with being gay. I mean, that’s a huge theme of the play. How these guys deal with living in a time and place where society clearly doesn’t support or approve of homosexuality. As many of the actors have said in interviews, it’s interesting to see the play and notice how much things have changed, but also how many things in the play still resonate today. Oh, I guess it’s important to point out that it takes place in 1968.

The play starts with Michael in his apartment getting ready for the party. His doorbell rings and Donald enters. ::raucous applause:: The next 15 minutes (I’m really bad with time, so don’t take too much stock in that) is Michael and Donald talking with one another about their parents, lives, etc. General banter of friends. Donald notices that Michael is not drinking alcohol and hasn’t been for the last few weeks. He can tell because Michael gets mean when he’s drunk (keep this in mind). Michael says his therapist encouraged him to lay off drinking bc it’s obviously becoming a problem for him.

It’s been a long day and Donald needs a shower. ::extremely raucous applause:: So Matt strips down to his undies and walks around a bit. Lays on a bed. Adjusts himself. Lots of this is only seen through the mirrors on the ceiling. Not sure about people in the mezzanine? They might be able to just see him laying there, idk. Then he wanders to the shower and strips...ALL THE WAY DOWN to shower. So yes. Not only do we see Matt’s ass, but we see his dick, too. Where I was sitting, I only saw it in reflections, but still. HEY THERE, MATT’S DICK! :P Whether or not other people in different seats see more or less of him, I’m not sure. This is why I say that the left is better than the right. The shower is on the right side of the stage, and there’s a sink/pedestal in front of the shower. So I think some people’s view of Matt in the shower is blocked by the sink? I was at enough of an angle where it wasn’t a problem. People were literally gasping. LOLOL.  The theater was definitely a-twitter. Lol. [random aside that I saw Angels in America during this trip, and in that play Lee Pace gets naked and just walks around the stage in the buff, so I guess it was my week for seeing ass and penis on stage? Lol]

Then he gets out and puts on a towel and walks around in that for a while, which is nice. Then he goes into the bedroom and changes and you can see him in his undies briefly (lol pun) again. So anyway, THAT HAPPENS. Lol

While Matt is showering and getting ready, Michael’s phone rings. It’s his old college roommate, Alan (Brian Hutchison) who’s having a breakdown of some sort and wants to come over and talk to Michael. The problem? Alan is straight (or is he??) and “square” and doesn’t know that Michael is gay.  Which is a problem bc a bunch of gay men are about to descend on Michael’s apt. Michael tells him to quickly come over with the hope that he will arrive and leave before too many people show up (lol right).  But honestly, who’s listening to Michael at this point bc OMG MATT IS NAKED. Seriously, I think I just stared at Matt for 95% of the show regardless of who was talking. Lol. It helped that I read the play beforehand and watched the movie so I knew what was going on.  ;)

So Michael tells Donald that Alan is coming over and warns him that Alan doesn’t know he’s gay so don’t act gay. Donald is mildly offended and has a funny line about sitting with his legs spread and talking in a deep register. Lol. But anyway, Jim and Matt are great together and you can really see their friendship (well, Michael and Donald’s friendship). They’re very funny together. The doorbell rings and we all think it’s going to be Alan, but it’s the first of the party guests – Larry (Andrew Rannells), Hank (Tuc Watkins), and Emory (Robin de Jesus). Hank and Larry are a couple (with issues). Emory is unapologetically flamboyant. He is hilarious. So Hank was married (he’s in the process of getting divorced) and has 2 kids. He’s the most stereotypically masculine of the group. He’s bi, “with a definite  lean in one direction” (hint: not chicks). He’s a math teacher. The oldest of the group. He’s dating Larry, who’s a bit of a man-whore (and a commercial artist). Larry doesn’t believe in monogamy, and this makes Hank sad. So this is a running issue between the two throughout the night. Andrew is hilarious in the play. He has GREAT facial expressions and reactions.

So Michael introduces everyone and it’s a bit awkward between Larry and Donald. Clearly, they have some sort of history (spoiler alert that’s pretty obvious: They “know” each other because they fucked in the baths once, but never spoke to one another. Yes, they enjoyed their fuck). Throughout the night, Larry is continuously coming on to Donald. Leaning into his space, stroking his arm, etc. It’s pretty great.

Doorbell rings again. Michael warns everyone about Alan and to PLEASE ACT STRAIGHT. Cue lots of hilarity with Emory who is just not into pretending to be butch. So he opens the door...and it’s not Alan. It’s Bernard (Michael B. Washington). Bernard is black (relevant to later parts of the play). He works at the library (a bookstore? Can’t recall which now). Anyway, he knows Donald bc he’s always supplying Donald with books. Lots of comments on how Donald reads a shit-ton. Bernard is besties with Emory.

More hilarity and banter ensues. There is a song and dance number (Donald does not participate, but Matt looks cute standing there and he does cute mini hand/arm motions). While they’re all dancing and being silly, the doorbell rings, but no one hears it but Hank, who goes to open the door and...it’s Alan. So he walks in on all the guys doing a choreographed dance. AWKWARD. Michael is all...”Uh...we’re just being silly!” haha. Yeah. More introductions. Emory is Emory and is pissing Michael off with his refusal to stop being camp. Alan takes to Hank because he’s the most traditionally masculine. Hank and Alan talk about their kids and Larry is getting increasingly pissed bc Hank is hiding the fact that he’s gay and with Larry (although they’re all—poorly-- hiding the fact that they’re gay). Michael goes upstairs to speak with Alan and what his breakdown/problem is.

So the action shifts to upstairs, but we can still see everyone downstairs. So they’re all acting like they’re at the party and are fake talking, etc. This is when Larry really gets into Donald’s space. He’s pissed at Hank because Hank are Alan were being all chummy. So he’s taking it out on Hank by being extra flirty with Donald. Donald isn’t really..opposed?...to it, but he’s maybe a little confused and awkward about it bc...hello?!? Hank is here? What even...? lol.

So upstairs, Alan decides he doesn’t want to talk about his issue and instead talks about how attractive Hank is. Lol. He also likes Donald. Alan’s been downing drinks (Donald is kind of the unofficial drink maker) and he’s drunk. Then he gets all homophobic and says shitty things about Emory. Michael gets a little pissed and goes downstairs while Alan stays upstairs in the bathroom.

Downstairs, the doorbell rings. Michael answers it, expecting it to be Harold (the birthday boy who is clearly very late). It’s a young studly guy dressed as a cowboy (Charlie Carver) who sings Happy Birthday to Michael and kisses him. Oops! Wrong guy! Cowboy is Emory’s gift to Harold. Harold was supposed to answer the door. But cowboy is early (you’re supposed to show up at midnight bc you’re a midnight cowboy!) and Harold is late, so...yeah. Didn’t work out. Then Alan comes downstairs and thinks Cowboy is Harold. Emory says, “No, he’s FOR Harold.” Alan is increasingly hostile and Emory is done with the fucking charades. Emory makes a comment about Alan’s wife, and Alan goes fucking berserk and starts punching Emory while calling him a bunch of gay slurs. Alan is pulled off Emory who is bleeding. Chaos is breaking out. The doorbell rings. Donald answers it and in walks Harold (Zach).

Harold is quite the character. He used to be a professional ice skater. He describes himself as an “ugly, pockmarked Jew fairy”.  He’s high. He’s very sardonic. He looks around and it’s like...WTF is happening? Lol. Alan is passed out on the floor. Emory has blood all over his face. Cowboy sings happy birthday to Harold, kisses him, then Harold reads the card tied to him and starts laughing hysterically.  (this technically ends the first act in the play, but there’s no intermission or anything so the action keeps going)

[Note Larry leaning into Donald’s space in the background]

Bernard and Emory go upstairs to clean up. Up until this point, the play has been really really funny. The general tone is pretty light and humorous. At this point, the tone starts to change dramatically. At some point, I don’t remember exactly when, this change is made blatantly clear by the lights going dim, and all the action on stage freezes, aside from Michael. He heads to the bar and pours and downs a drink. Remember what Donald said about Michael when he’s drunk? MEAN. So this marks the turning point. Light go back up, action resumes. [I’m not sure what I think about them doing it this way, but it hammers the point home that Michael is now drinking and things are about to get dark, so eh. Whatever. ] Michael gets increasingly asshole-ish. You really start to hate Michael.

Alan declares he’s going to puke, so Hank leads him upstairs to the bathroom. Michael and Harold exchange barbs. You really start to wonder why they’re friends. Every time Michael takes a drink, Harold proclaims, “Turning!” Like Donald, he knows alcohol turns Michael into an asshole. Michael is getting drunker and meaner and Harold is not one to just put up with things.  If something gets dished out, he’ll deal it right back ten-fold. But while brutally honest, he’s not being as downright cruel as Michael, who even starts throwing racist remarks at Bernard and cruel comments to Emory (which really horrifies Donald).

Alan comes downstairs and proclaims his intention to leave, and bizarrely announces that Hank should leave with him. This leads to the announcement that Hank and Larry and lovers, and basically the charade is up and hey! We’re all gay; and btw, we think you are too, Alan. Michael won’t let anyone leave and invents a “party game” for them all to play. Basically, you have to call someone that you’ve truly loved. You get different amounts of points for various things – if someone answers, you say who you are, you get the person on the line that you want to speak with, you tell them you love them. A total of 10 possible points. Donald and Harold are immediately like, YEAH NO. Not playing. So Bernard and Emory both call people. Does not turn out particularly well. I literally cried for Bernard. Michael B. Washington does a phenomenal job.

Hank and Larry have it out again, but they end up calling each other, saying they love each other, and going upstairs to have sex in Michael’s bedroom.

Michael starts harassing Alan and telling him he should call their other college roommate, Justin, that Michael is convinced Alan was in love with. He’s in total asshole mode. Alan dials a number and ends up telling the person he loves them. Michael grabs the phone assuming it’s Justin..it’s not. It’s his wife.

Alan leaves. The mood of the party has degenerated into a total morose atmosphere. Harold just goes off on Michael with a huge truth bomb about how self-loathing Michael is and how badly he doesn’t want to be gay, but guess what? You’re gay and you’ll always be gay. He then takes off with Cowboy. Emory and Bernard (who is super drunk by this point) then leave, and Michael has a breakdown. He basically starts hyperventilating and is comforted by Donald. He pulls himself together and leaves to go to a midnight mass. Donald stays behind to read a bit, after assuring Michael that he’ll be back next weekend. The play ends with Donald reading and the silhouette of Hank and Larry making love upstairs in bed.

So yeah, I was much more brief when it came to the second half, in part bc it’s not as much “fun.” It’s much more dramatic. Very good, but not as fun to retell, and as far as Matt goes, aside from the end scene, he kind of disappears in the second half. I mean, he’s physically present and had lines, but there is definitely more focus on the other characters. He kinda just hangs in the periphery watching everything go down. And silently flirting with Larry lol.

All the characters do a stellar job. Charlie Carver/The Cowboy has the smallest role. He’s basically a big dummy, and provides some comic relief with his idiocy and innocence.  Tuc (Hank) does a great job, but his role isn’t as humorous or flashy as the others. Michael B. Washington is great as Bernard, and I was really feeling for him at the end. He has a great monologue that delves into race and slurs. He and Emory have a touching moment. Robin de Jesus is hilarious as Emory. Jim does a good job as insecure Michael. Apparently, he wears special shoes during the show because of his broken foot. I would not have known anything was wrong with his foot. He’s pretty spry walking around that stage. He does a good job playing a mean asshole. Lol. Andrew has hilarious reactions and facial expressions. Zach is hilarious as Harold. Very sarcastic and kind of deadpan? He has a very interesting way of speaking. Harold is super weird, and Zach does a super job. He comes in late in the play, but has an integral part once he arrives. And I love Donald. His role is definitely not as flashy as some of the others, but I feel you really get to know and like Donald.

You laugh A LOT during the first half of the show. You still have funny moments in the second half, but it is also more shocking and dramatic. Pretty thought provoking. And thinking about the time period that this play takes place in (1968) and how tough it was to be out (or not out) at that time, and looking on stage at the all gay cast...it’s a pretty special feeling. They look like they probably have a blast on stage every night.

I happened to be there on Zach’s actual birthday, which was funny because it’s his character’s birthday in the play. When Matt opens the door and it’s Zach standing there, the first line Donald says is, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Harold.” He said it VERY pointedly and I was like !!!!!!!! So that was special. Oh! A Matt insta post:

If you aren’t going to be able to see it, you can watch the original movie. Obviously, it’s not as cool as seeing your faves in the role, but the original play, movie, and the revival are all very faithful to each other. Same dialogue and everything. The movie does add a few scenes at the beginning outside of Michael’s apartment, and some of the movie takes place outside on a balcony instead of all inside, but those are very minor details. I think they cut out a few lines of dialogue in the revival so they could cut down on the time, but offhand I don’t recall what they cut out. I’ll have to read the play again. So you’ll hear all the stuff that happens and all the funny lines and stuff that they say in the play. Then you can envision Matt in the role of Donald. I like Matt’s portrayal of Donald better than the original actor’s, but OBVIOUSLY I am biased. lol

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

So I’m being harassed for sharing my experience and being accused of corrective rape by a transphobe and I felt like this was relevant given how hardheaded they clearly are.

Its like imagine hating trans people so hard that you end up circling back around to being homophobic and implying that gay men like penis rather than men. Clearly gay men find Lavern Cox more attractive than they find Laith Ashley, that makes since. Clearly gay men are shallow and do not connect to each other on an emotional level, it’s all about getting fucked in the ass. Like I was talking about how weird it is that straight men have so many complexes about vagina, where as gay men have moved past those sorts of complexes by virtue of not interacting with vagina all that often so when it does come up they’re just like... yeah this is fine. tell me more. Obviously I’ve gotten transphobic comments on Grindr, gay guys are not a monolith and some of them are transphobic, some of them don’t like trans men because they’re on some bullshit, and some of them aren’t transphobic and they reject me because they don’t like my particular brand of masculinity. Some of them understand I’m a man but just aren’t comfortable figuring out a new set of junk and that’s also fine. I understand all of that. Some gay men are trans for gods sake. But I can’t explain all that to this guy because he has chosen to see gay men as a monolith of guys who are attracted exclusively to penises rather than the men they may or may not be attached to. No gay man is attracted to Natalie Wynn, I’m sorry, but they are attracted to me, provided they like nerdy goth twinks. By the way, I don’t know how it’s rape given that every person I’ve had sex with have asked me to have sex with them knowing that I had a vagina.

Also I’ve been accused of being opposite sex attracted which even if their theory of gender was true, it still wouldn’t add up because I’m attracted to trans men and even the occasional masculine aligned non binary person, although I call myself gay because an nb do have to be rather masc to catch my eye. I’m attracted to AFAB people, provided they are also trans. Explain that atheists.

All of that being said, his comments did hurt me because I’ve been cooped up with my transphobic family for like a month now. So it’s just another straw on my already strained back. I’ve blocked him and everything, but I just needed to vent my feelings a little bit. Like, a cis man could literally look act and talk just like me and this guy would have no qualms about him being gay and yet because I have a vagina and haven’t gotten around to getting any work done and I’m GNC clearly I’m a disgusting Fujoshi or some bullshit.

The truth is that I’m so freaking gay that I’m uncomfortable being percieved as in an opposite sex relationship, to the point where before I knew about trans people I was convinced I was a lesbian because the thought of me being in a relationship with a man as a woman was disgusting, but now that I’ve accepted myself as a man the thought of me being in a relationship with a woman as a man is just as disgusting as before I transitioned, but I cant explain that to him, because he’d never get it. I’ve always been gender nonconforming. I cut my hair short when I was 8 and then kept it short until I came out as a man, and then I started growing it out again. Just because I look feminine doesn’t change that and in fact reinforces that fact. You cannot look at my life and see a straight girls life unless you’re so blinded by transphobia that you can’t see reality.

[fractallogic]

WELP I also forgot that going on twitter is not a good idea when emotionally exhausted so just here’s a braindump before I take some butter out of the fridge (cookie dough) and take a shower

[cut for the endless discussion of sexual assault etc.]

(hey remember how in livejournal you could type actual cut text wouldn’t that be fun to re-implement in tumblr instead of just “keep reading” or “more”)

so my favorite moth wrote a short thread on twitter about performative allyship about sexual harassment and discrimination and how, perhaps, if you’re a man, maybe consider who exactly your audience is before you have to go “WHAAAAAT CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING” because, you know, women do actually know. we know. we’re the ones it’s happening to. for reals. we get it. we’ve been asking you to stop and/or get on board with us for a real long time.

this happened when our white male junior colleague retweeted a link about how women get less mentorship to publish and are more often in teaching assistantships than in research assistantships in their PhD program across a bunch of academic disciplines. yeah. I know. someone in the year below you is writing a review article with my advisor about methodologies that I have used more than he has. he’s also a lab manager. he’s got at least one talk and another project going with my advisor. I have nothing with my advisor in spite of having similar research interests and abilities. my project with advisor has been stalled, through no fault of mine, for literal years, and advisor has also tried to pass it off to goldenboy lab manager to “get it off your plate”. let me tell you, I KNOW that sexism in mentorship is a thing in PhD school. REALLY.

or when my dad brings up Louis CK and is like “hahaha see it happens more often than just with that guy you wanted to work with” and I had to walk the line between saying “dad, I have been catcalled by strangers since I was twelve, I understand” and like, not explaining myself further into exhaustion. because guess what, I get it. I’ve been raped by multiple partners since I was fifteen. I’ve been sexually assaulted and harassed in various modes by both strangers and partners for over a decade. my first encounter with a penis was when I was about eight, outside my elementary school, where some guy walking by just. had it out. by. an. elementary. school. dad, you remember that teacher who got fired and jailed for pedophilia charges? yeah, the guy who was principal at the same time and who hired that teacher ALSO recently got jail time for pedophilia charges. quincy, the boy you said with no irony at all, “so when are you getting married? has he asked you yet?”, assaulted me multiple times, from coercing me into sex to being unpredictably angry when I said no to me literally having to lock him out of the bedroom when I showered and he was home because he liked to sit in the bathroom with me while I showered, or demand hugs and cuddles from me when I was still naked from the shower, or ask just to look at me because dammit shiloh we haven’t had sex in a year and I have NEEDS. ben talked me into sneaking around, even when I absolutely knew better and, actually, didn’t think it was all that fun, and didn’t really want to have sex with him all the time. scott told me that i was his sex slave and didn’t care when we inconvenienced both of our roommates multiple times because him having sex was more important than anyone’s comfort. he refused to shower and also refused to have any contact with my mouth (except with his penis, lololol) after I’d eaten animal products unless I brushed my teeth beforehand, but obviously wouldn’t extend me the same courtesy (because as a vegan... sort of... mostly... except for HIGH QUALITY ingredients, he had no bad breath and no BO) (this is incorrect, by the way). he called me horrible names under the guise of “talking dirty” and refused to stop until the “session” was over. more men than I can count have accused me of leading them on and called me horrible names. one of my defining criteria when swiping through tinder is “does he look like he’s going to send me unsolicited dick pics”.

even sean, the least (or maybe third-to-least, actually) garbage of all the men I’ve slept with, got grumpy when I wouldn’t sneak out of my house at night to go have sex with him when we were in high school, and would on occasion pester me for nudes.

believe me, I know that men are awful.

I knew bagel was a keeper when he recognized that a woman coming over to a strange man’s house late at night was maybe something she wouldn’t want to do, and encouraged me sending his address to my friends. he asked permission before having any kind of intimate contact. he was the one who stopped first and said “hang on let me get a condom”, and never said any bullshit about “but you’re on birth control” or “I can’t get off with a condom” or anything like that.

that is the bare minimum. that is the absolute bare minimum of respect and it had me amazed that I had found someone on TINDER of all places that wasn’t an absolute shithead of a human.

we women KNOW that men are hyperprivileged. we KNOW you’re surprised about the amount of privilege you have. we KNOW you had ~no idea~ that it really was this bad. WE KNOW. you tell us these things shocked and we’re like Phoebe in Friends when it was announced publicly that Monica and Chandler were sleeping together (...spoilers?) and she already knew:

it is exhausting to explain over and over that yes, we know. yes, we have experienced it. no, we don’t really want to go into specifics because there are just too many times that it’s happened. yeah, thanks for being sorry. yeah, we know you’re a good person. yeah, we know YOU would never be like them. we know. we know. we know.

just like when white people are shocked that racism still happens.