#also like she is her own person not only nicos brother and she may have hurt nico but that shouldnt have to be her way of making decisions | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dear-ao3 · 18 days ago

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yeah you guessed it we’re in texas. yee fucking haw mother fuckers lets get down and dirty with it. 6 races to go. 3 sprints. 2 triple headers. pedal to the metal, balls to the wall, everything is still to play for.

today is october 27, 2024 and we are locked and beyond loaded.

as u may or may not know, the like month we had off was kind of uneventful. obviously we had the daniel and liam swap which ive already covered, but the real extent of the drama was:

people being baffled about yuki tsunoda flying in economy:

max verstappen went on a rant in some interview about how a man’s looks are not important, its what comes out of his mouth. which is odd for a variety of reasons. especially when you remember that he regularly talks about grindr. (yes hes in a long term relationship with a woman, no i have no idea either)

george russell posted the most baffling photo on his instagram, with the caption “Autumn has arrived”

he also ended up accidentally matching with his girlfriend carmen. he claimed that she was going to be the one to change (she did not change)

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he was also then taking photos of carmen the next day for her instagram story and accidentally caught his reflection in the picture. which was funny.

and then, bafflingly, mercedes decided to post a “russellisms dictionary” of essentially the weird british-isms that george russell says

moving on from that, pierre gasly tried to steal michael schumacher’s look from approximately 2003

and speaking of the schumachers. mick’s older sister gina got married over the break. which is very nice and very wonderful, happy for her, her dress was actually very pretty (a rarity among celebrities and people related to celebrities. sorry but its true. have u seen what vivian got married to nico rosberg wearing??? if not pls google it and remember that they got married in like idk 2012? 2013?) mick walked her down on the aisle it was very nice very sweet etc etc

but! there was a rampant rumor that michael schumacher (her father) was at the wedding. why is this a big deal? you might be asking. well remember that he had a skiing accident 11 or so years ago, had a traumatic brain injury and hasnt been seen in public since, all the world knows is Yeah He’s Alive and that's about it. (again id like to note that i am not taking issue with that, im stating facts, his family really doesnt need to tell us anything, this is all just relevant to what im about to say)

well. michael as u may or may not remember has a brother named ralf, also an ex f1 driver, but not even remotely nearly as accomplished as michael (tho they did race at the same time and theyre the only two siblings to both win races in f1) and yes this was the same brother who came out as gay a few months ago. he is kinda. problematic. not cause hes gay. but for other reasons we dont have time for.

they sort of? look alike??? as in u can tell theyre related but like theyre not spitting images of eachother.

well some people decided to find a picture of ralf at said wedding (a wedding at which no one was reportedly allowed phones, which generally means that michael was probably there) and pass if off as michael which upset the internet to no end and while i don't have any receipts to show you, the general sentiment of the responses were “omg if this is actually him then hes literally fine why did the family lie about it” which:

its not him

who cares what the family said? even if they did lie that's their own business and personally i would not blame them. at the time of said incident michael was, by a very long shot, the most accomplished person in f1 history. u probably don't want to have to deal with the public post traumatic skiing accident

hilariously though, a few days later, and please keep in mind that this is all according to something that roommate katya said he found on twitter but accidentally refreshed the page before he could screenshot it so i have no receipts to offer here, a photo of michael schumacher from about 1995 was posted in a news article next to a photo of his daughter gina from 2024 and the headline from the news article said something along the lines of “michael schumacher seen out in public for the first time in 11 years” and someone on twitter thought this meant that he had come out as a trans woman? because gina does look a fair bit like michael and thought it was a post transition pic? im not sure either but either way it was hilarious, if not slightly irrelevant to the whole post. but isnt everything on this post.

also related to the schumachers, laila, mick’s girlfriend, revealed that the two of them found one of their dogs on the street or he was a stray and they obtained him. hilariously, michael schumacher also did this back in brazil in like the 90s or the 2000s.

moving on from that. we have franco colapinto. everyone’s favorite media disaster child. now i Have been meaning to throw this on some of the previous updates But i simply havent had the space or the time so its going here. i know that i have mentioned that franco likes to flirt with the media people. and u can find a compilation of what i am talking about here

well.

you would have if someone had actually made a compilation of him flirting and generally being a little shit. but no one has. or at least i cant find it.

i also unfortunately don't speak spanish, and i know that several people have pointed out that the stuff that he is saying makes the most sense In Spanish and doesnt translate super well all of the time. so i suppose you will just have to trust me here.

i did find though from baku that he told ted kravitz that he was “talented with his tongue” in an interview. so that’s something.

and he did flirt with a reporter in baku, saying they were crying over his performance and not flirting but he did tell people to buy unofficial williams merch because its “is too expensive, not even Cristiano Ronaldo can afford it, you buy it and you'll be eating just rice for 2 months, don't buy it, buy the unofficial one, it's just the same and is cheaper!"

in any case, hes a little shit in the media. kind of like sebastian vettel (who was also a media menace. he flirted with the grid girls (who are not a thing anymore) wreaked havoc upon nico and lewis by trying to be their therapist in like 2014-16, and once famously tried to have a threesome with two girls but left because the girls were, in his words, more interested in each other than him)

so franco posted this on his instagram story

which translates to “media training day”

this was quickly followed by this:

which translates to “you are crazy, how could you believe i was going to do media training? i only drive cars”

and we also had some leo. because of course we had some leo.

first we had leo in a sweater and kind of stealing chares’s look

and then we had leo in a sweater at leclerc family dinner celebrating charles’s older brother lorenzo’s engagement

and we also had charles leclerc in a stupid big hat

charles was announced as a puma brand ambassador.

he was also asked if leo was a puma brand ambassador and he said no, but he Could be, and generally was a proud dad about it

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and fred vasseur saying that he wanted to arrange a dog fight between leo and roscoe next year??

and also between toto and christian. yeah idk either.

in the same interview, charles was asked about his thoughts on fred signing lewis. and this is how the news decided to report his response:

max verstappen released merch. it says “simply lovely” which is one of his catch phrases.

to do this, he needed to copyright the phrase.

if you recall. lando norris won the race in zandvoort and after winning he said, over the radio, “simply lovely,” basically stealing max’s catch phrase at his Own home race too.

daniel said after the race that yeah theyre good friends but max probably wont be very happy about that (or something along those lines) and max basically said that yeah i don't really care i gotta think about how shit my car is right now and not whatever the fuck lando is doing.

many people were like omg omg max WAS mad about this and ran out to get it copyrighted after lando said that!!! which is false. patents take awhile to get approved. and this patent was applied for in may, approved in august. though i do think its funny if lando knew that max was doing this and was like lol let me Really fuck with him here :) whos to really say for sure tho.

anywhoosies. lewis hamilton is also one of the chairs for the met gala next year. i could try to paraphrase what he said about it but i am not going to, so here was his instagram caption announcing that:

I’m beyond honored to be one of the co-chairs for next year’s Met Gala, “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style.” This theme speaks to me deeply. When I started my career I never imagined what I might be capable of beyond my sport. The pressure to conform holds so many people back. Growing up as the only Black kid on the track, so often that pressure got to me. Expressing myself creatively was and still is my freedom from that conformity. For Black people across the diaspora, fashion is self-preservation. Fashion is resilience, and I can’t wait to further explore and amplify our underrepresented voices. Thank you to the @metcostumeinstitute for the platform to uplift Black creatives on this scale.

and he released a capsule collection with dior. as a side note, i was in new york city this weekend and the ads for his dior capsule collection kept jumpscaring me all up and down fifth avenue.

someone on tumblr? i think??? decided to jokingly start a petition to the australian government about making a day national oscar piastri day to honor his race wins and etc etc and well. turns out enough people signed it so now it legally has to get looked at by the prime minister. of australia. this is what happens when we girlboss to close to the sun everyone.

mercedes posted a video of george russell showing his racing gloves things they have never seen before. which was charming but also kind of insane. also he had weird and different hair and was wearing a zip up hoodie? which theres nothing wrong with but its jarring to see mr tommy hilfiger dressed so casually.

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also speaking of george, he was in a photoshoot for ….well shit i don't remember but it was Something and he looked particularly slutty.

and he also did this picture which people compared to andrew jacoby (duke of kennilworth) in princess diaries 2

and well, we know that george is not a slut all of the time. if you remember, he recently posted some pictures about him being excited about fall or something. well. theres more.

yeah, frankly i have Absolutely No Idea what is happening here. mostly i want to know what on Earth the temperature is. why is he wearing a giant scarf but no hat? why is he wearing gloves and a scarf but no jacket and the cardigan is undone? and the gloves match the cardigan? but the white corduroy pants clash? and hes holding something warm but wearing gloves?? is he slaying? yes. am i confused? also yes.

in much sadder news, we have an update on one daniel ricciardo. yes, freshly dropped from vcarb daniel ricciardo. aparently he is alive and well and being featured on his friends instagrams wearing a hat that says “im retired, having a good time is my job”

and while he was Not going to be in texas for the race (sadly) (he had a special helmet and everything lined up apparently) his brand, enchanté was going to be. and, even more sadly, apparently he was supposed to be honored with the keys to the city during the race weekend. (if you're asking why, daniel loves texas, he goes all out every year, one year he literally showed up riding a horse, everyone joked that he was an honorary texan). so yeah. a lot of sad. im unsure if hes still going to get the keys to the city? i would assume yes, but unclear when.

definitely Not getting the keys to the city are mercedes for their weird, kind of sexual, kind of foursome esque promotional? video? for something??? idk they all look like they want to fuck the cars and george tells mick he wants to dominate him and mick looks like he wants to be anywhere But there. (side note cause i have no idea i don't go into this side of the fandom: do people ship these two? cause in my day and age this would be grounds for like at least 30 ao3 fics alone)

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and since we havent had it in awhile: the government mandated mclaren update!!!

lando and oscar took a photo with a baby, which lando looked positively thrilled about and oscar looked like he would rather be anywhere but there.

and they also did whatever this was. i have no context and no one else does either.

lando did a commercial for polo red cologne which made him kind of look like he was trying to be…well i was going to say a greaser but that's the wrong word. so im not sure.

oscar was photographed in a white button up shirt. which looks hilariously similar to the generic white button up shirt that everyone else takes pictures in. and i lost the link so just trust me.

and oscar and lando also did….whatever this is together.

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someone on tumblr dissected the (old) williams logo to an insane degree and it apparently is incredibly incredibly lopsided and crooked. doesnt really have anything to do with f1 at all but it is a funny read if you want to read it.

and it was world mental health day. lando posted some things about it and so did george. others might have as well but i only saw these two, which makes sense as they are two of the ones who have talked about mental health kind of extensively. take this as a reminder everyone, check in on your friends! say hi! let them know you're thinking about you!

so every year there is this thing called the race of champions. and I am not overly familar with it and how it works but i do know that a good few years ago mick schumacher and sebastian vettel competed on the same team representing team germany. and next year they are going to do the same thing again! which is cool!

and seb was seen wearing corduroy on corduroy again and was interviewed about who he thinks is going to win the championship. he said he thinks its max.

and so with that. we can finally get into the real actual race weekend.

media day

and well. we know this is texas. and everyone goes entirely out in texas. including alpine. who decided to do this.

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pierre later posted a photo series of the texas fits, and managed to post one photo of esteban, with no tag, the only one where he wasn't looking at the camera.

(they also kind of stole this from red bull a few years ago)

charles and george were asked to try to say lights out and away we go in an american accent. among other things. which was. interesting. i didn't realize it was so hard to say “y’all” for europeans.

alex was also asked to say yeehaw

and george later also said howdy partner, really really terribly.

george was also given a football during a fan stage and quite literally punted it into the crowd.

lewis showed up in all denim

yuki showed up in this slay of an outfit

carlos and charles were made cowboy hats

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and carlos also turned into a barista to make ollie coffee in the ferrari hospitality

it was alex albon’s 100th race, so he decided to go back to his first ever karting helmet for this weekend:

oscar also had a cool helmet that he is going to wear for This race And the vegas race (because 2 usgps are the same, right? no but i admire him for doing this its funny as shit)

and charles also had a helmet. im pretty sure. well i know he was wearing one. it would be bad if he hadnt. but im writing this on the train and my hot spot gave out so were on train wifi and my links wont open so this will be a surprise when i format everything later. (edit from the future, it was that he put a cowboy hat on his helmet)

and max ran a blue helmet. though it wasn't the daniel special helmet (sadly) it was still cool.

also with helmets come liveries. mclaren did a chrome livery which did actually look pretty cool.

and haas of course did a livery, as they are an american team.

and alpine was orange and totally stealing mclaren’s look. this was because they did a promo thing with the new indiana jones movie (probably cause like every celebrity ever (except nico rosberg) sponsors their team)

haas also got a sim??? maybe??? im not sure that's all it says in my notes and i cant be bothered to do more research on it than that right now, because again, train.

with our return to texas came the return of everyones least favorite sky sports presenter: danica patrick. remember, we all thought that she got fired earlier in the year for saying something about lizard people but turns out she was just taking a break until texas? well yeah, shes back. (why don't we like her? well aside from the weird lizard people thing despite her herself being a prominent woman in motorsport she doesnt want other women? in motorsport? im pretty sure that's the whole thing???)

and guess who else was back? that's right it was jenson button, danica patrick’s biggest hater.

and once again, they were the duo that Shouldn't

during the off week they (they being like the motorsport council or something) decided that next year there will be No extra point for fastest lap.

was this directly related to the Daniel Taking The Point From Lando thing in singapore? undoubtedly. man you really cant let a guy live in his own doomed narrative anymore, can you?

fernando alonso also had an opinion about it:

"there are not many things in formula 1 that are not in spirit of the rules. thats how you win championships. i think what daniel did in singapore is the dna of formula 1"

and of course, there was talk about the swearing and max’s community service penalty. mostly talk with george russell. the gpda director. you know…the drivers union leader???? yeah. here is what he had to say about it:

“it does seem silly that it has come to this. next week we’ll have a letter or something to show where we’re at” (we being the drivers, apparently they are all on the same page about this.) “we’ve yet to speak to the FIA as of yet, but we hope to do so probably next week, maybe in Mexico. collectively we’re all on the same page. next week, we’ll probably formally put something towards [the media] to read from the drivers as a united whole….we don't want to be taking away the heat of the moment emotions that drivers show during a race, and i think it is down to maybe the broadcaster when it comes to the race to choose if they want to broadcast that or not. it is very challenging for the drivers when you have a microphone you're talking with your team, you're in the middle of battle, but equally if its an environment [like a press conference] maybe we have a duty just to be conscious of our words. Next week we will probably collectively have a letter to share.”

unrelated to that, george also hinted that the mercedes next year might not suck?

and they made mick talk to a remote control car.

liam and yuki, the new teammates, were being silly at the fan stage because liam said: "we've had more crashes than i can count together over the years"

yuki: "the more we race the more contact we have"

liam: "its always yukis fault"

yuki: "no his"

liam: "obviously we cant to that now yuki"

oscar was aksed about having a rivalry with liam lawson. and he said that there isn’t really one because the cars are on diferent levels

"i kind of hope not, because i think with the differences in car performance. it we're rivals on track, then somethings either going really well for one of us or really badly for the other"

and max continued to cause problems by saying that oscar is Not a number 2 driver.

"for me hes definitely not a number two driver and if i was him u would never accept it."

red bull was forced to address the daniel thing and as expected they did so shittily. they said that his “post-F1 future is undecided.” and had to say he wouldn't be in texas and etc etc

and last but not least. fernando is brat.

sorry for the speed run here, but it is quite literally saturday and i refuse to get behind. the boys are already in mexico and qualifying as im writing this, i gotta speed up.

so sprint qualifying

remember how i said not even like 2 lines ago that it was saturday night? well now its sunday morning so really, please, just excuse the mess okay. i had a week. but i am nothing if not committed to the damn bit even though i know no one reads this anymore (i do not blame you for that btw, it is a long and slightly terrible post)

in any case. mclaren and and red bull and haas all brought upgrades (and maybe more actually). haas had a lot and i think mclaren did too. which you might think is odd because remember a sprint weekend means that there is only one practice session for you to get your shit together before you need to qualify for the sprint, and that is a challenge when you bring a lot of upgrades that need fine tuning.

(though i think mclaren also did this in miami? which was a sprint weekend and they managed to win that one, as im sure we all remember or maybe you don't)

in any case. mclaren did Not have their upgrades figured out. haas did though, which was wild because theyre haas. and also the cota track is notoriously bumpy and kind of different from most of the other tracks. crofty described it as having a “relenting, undulating nature” whatever that means.

alex albon decided that he wanted to go for a spin in sq1. martin brundle was unimpressed by this and said “a good car should spin like that.” hes probably right about that.

most shocking though was that oscar was out in sq1. mclaren Really Really didn't have their upgrades figured out At All. zak brown though decided to undersell that a little by saying “the drivers arent totally happy with the balance o the race car right now”

unshocking was that zhou had no power. as will buxton later said, no matter what upgrades they put into the stake car, it just doesnt want to work.

unshocking was also that ted spent about three minutes talking about the swiss flag. no i have no idea why.

and apparently i also have it written in my notes here that gunther steiner is opening a bed and breakfast. interesting. can we please get back to racing?

keving magnussen tried to get one of the vcarbs in trouble for an unsafe release, martin was displeased with this and was like no. bestie you are wrong. you drive 200kph around this track that release was not unsafe.

martin was correct, once again.

he was really batting a thousand today.

im not sure if that is actually how you use that saying but im slightly too lost in the sauce to care about it so.

yuki managed to knock checo straight out of qualifying which was objectively kind of hilarious. later on we had the post race show crew saying that we really Need to get yuki in a red bull to at least do some tests (aparently honda is pushing for this) because liam has done red bull tests but yuki hasnt.

liam lawson also found himself out in sq2, but hewas down in 15th, and directly infront of one oscar piastri in 16th. what was that about the rivalry, oscar???

franco and pierre also almost crashed. and franco cursed about it over the radio: “man gasly. what the fuck? we almost crashed!” but no community service for him….

into sq3. lewis hamilton was pissed that the team kept sending him out really really early. “cmon guys, that was not good” he said once his time showed that he was a whole .7 seconds. george was also p1.

franco also went spin. thats two williams now if you're keeping track. franco is also the first williams driver to make it to sq3 in 2024

and there were some new (?) camera angles at this race, one was a lower backwards angle that the announcers did not like because “its like driving backwards on a train” (it is actually kind of cool, makes the cars seem very very fast)

anyway. carlos, lando and charles could Not pass george’s time. but you know who did????

DUDUDUDUDU

MAX VERSTAPPEN

he was back on pole! back like he never left! .012 seconds faster than george! and people predicted that he wanted to make a Statement like lando had in zandvoort.

pre spring race itself there were some other funny things that happened like ruth buscombe talking about franco’s aura

and max gave some slightly longer answers in the press conference, but said that he is still protesting, "hes just not an asshole"im just a good person".

and also we gotta talk about the ferrari strategy. because ferrari did have a strategy and it seemed to be, no upgrades just a hope and a dream and charles leclerc

which did perhaps turn out to be correct because he qualified third

onto the sprint

so we had max starting p1, george p2, charles p3, lando p4, carlos p5, nico p6, lewis p7, kevin p8, yuki p9 and franco p10. and then you know, everyone else.

and 19 laps ahead of us.

straight out of the gate lando managed to launch himself forward into p2. which was nothing short of insane. it also left carlos and charles right next to each other. and after charles was done trying to fight george for p3 (and failing) he started fighting with carlos. like really fighting with carlos. like maybe slightly too much fighting with carlos. like i thought they were going to ram the hell into eachother fighting with carlos.

george, throughout this, stayed in his lance, as hes been doing this year and got a fastest lap.

which was soon taken by max.

despite their literal kerfuffles with eachother, carlos and charles both wanted to stop wasting time fighting eachother?

“weve got to try and get back to the others, if possible” charles said on lap 4

then carlos kind of shoved him slightly off and managed to pass him on lap 6 before saying “lets go and get them guys”

oscar meanwhile had made it to 12th

and there was other Steam brewing down the grid in the cockpit of one fernando alonso who had liam lawson trying to pass him.

“man” fernando said on lap 9. “the alpha tauri is such an idiot”

alpha tauri? you might be asking

yeah. that's the old name of the visa cashapp racing bulls. the last person to call them this was james vowels, all the way back in monaco.

the vcarb social media people had some fun with this when they decided to post this picture of liam and fernando arguing later in the pit lane with this caption:

oblivious to that though was carlos, who managed to pass george on lap 9.

there wasn't much george could do about though because he had killed his tires trying to chase down lando and had almost no tires left. “my left front is toast!” he said a lap later, getting overtaken by charles.

and then oscar got a 5 second penalty for pushing pierre off the track. been kind of awhile since weve had a good weekend of penalties. and this weekend, let me tell you, this was the first of Many.

charles didn't care about that though, because he put in a fastest lap.

i was watching with my sister by the way and it was at this point that she said to me “i think charles strategy is don't think just feel” and she was correct. because he was now back to chasing his teammate, absolutely no team orders to be had at ferrari. and charles apparently had slightly better tires.

and while he was doing that. yuki was battling checo. but he managed not to pass.

oscar arrived at the scene of that crime a moment later. checo was 9, yuki was 10 and oscar was 11. oscar eventually managed to get past yuki.

out in front by the way was still max and lando. and in case you're wondering, since miami, both of them have scored the Exact Same Number Of Points. wild.

meanwhile the ferraris had stopped scrapping amongst themselves and were now trying to scrap with lando. so we had a three way battle for p2.

what had happened with mercedes? well they were down fighting for fifth after the tire thing and lewis was mad that people were talking to him in the braking.

but the battle for p2.

lando was back a little way from max and just trying to hang on in front of the ferraris. carlos was in front of charles at this point. and then lando locked up slightly on the last lap and carlos got through! but!! charles was unable to! so lando managed to hold on to third!

and then there was an Incident or an almost Incident between charles and lando. charles was behind and trying to pass. right. as one does when they are racing. but then lando took a weird line into a corner and nearly almost brake checked charles who had to swerve to avoid him and was at at him about it.

still! lando managed to hold p3 until the checkered flag which meant: MAX WON!!!!

its been so long since we have said that but MAX WON!!! carlos came p2 and lando came p3. charles came p4 and he was so mad about it that he threw his helmet in the garage.

but at least his brakes didn't light on fire like valtteri bottas’s did on the cooldown lap.

max continued his hatred of sprint races live on air while being interviewed by gunther steiner.

“you’ve won 11 out of 16 f1 sprints (ever)” gunther said

“yeah,” max said. “maybe because i don't like them”

there was now a 54 point gap between max and lando and as laura winter said it only takes one dnf for this whole thing to turn on its head.

so lets look at real qualifying

heading into qualifying we now had both haas cars with the full upgrades (previously it had just been nico) and also liam lawson was inheriting daniels 10 place grid penalty for power unit changing plus like another 60 place grid penalty for even More power unit changing. also liam lawson hadnt raced in a car in over a year.

(and yeah remember fernando was picking fights with him. texas was fernando’s 399th start. liam has had like. 5. maybe fernando just needed someone new to pick on and be evil with? cause remember fernando is definitely a villain. hes incredibly villain. hes just been tame and someone reinvented his social media presence the last few years. but we all remember what he said many many years ago about michael schumacher (?) “i knew he would brake because he has a wife and kids at home”) (the red flags podcast talked about this kind of well actually)

fernando also passed liam coming out of the pit lane.

and you already know that we don't have time as usual so the interesting bits:

lewis hamilton got out in q1. for the first time ever at cota. “my goodness, what is going on there?” said martin about That. and he ended up in p19 which was a “total shock” (though he ended up starting p17 cause of reasons okay we will Get there). lewis said that “the car was a nightmare. should probably start from the pitlane otherwise i wont be going anywhere” (as in change a lot of set ups before tomorrow)

george also barely made it out of q1 and said over radio at the end “whoa that was a little bit stressful”

and liam lawson had a fun little moment where he went third fastest, which was “all he wanted to do” according to himself over the radio. essentially he wanted to stick it to red bull that he Can drive and he Should be in contention for the red bull seat. because apparently that is a thing that is happening (despite that checo posted the “im not leaving” clip from the office? friends? i don't know some tv show okay im bad at tv shows don't come for me ive never seen either after danny rics left)

so liam went through to q2 Despite having to start last because of his p3 and he essentially just helped out yuki by giving him tows, though yuki complained that they were bad tows:

“tell to liam when he gives me the slipstream, stay in the middle and go to the left at the end of the straight. i was picking up so much dust in the straight”

despite that, yuki still got out in q2.

kevin magnussen though made it to q3 for the first time this year. incredible.

pierre had a textbook unsafe release.

and george was through to q3 but he was suffering and said on the radio “i don't know what we’re missing compared to yesterday” over the radio before he took a little spin into the barriers and effectively ended the session.

that was bad news for max because he had been on a really really fast lap, but it was great news for lando who had been on pole.

“mixed day for the brits” the announcers said “lando on pole, george in the wall and lewis p18”

and that's where we found ourselves for the start of the race

george was starting in the pit lane because turned out that his suspension had been damaged and he needed to repair it. lewis was not starting from the pit line (like he said he would be) he was starting in p17

and charles, in all his furious glory because need i remind you that he threw his helmet, was starting p4 BEHIND lando, max AND carlos.

and yet somehow, off the line, he managed to LAUNCH himself into p1.

he being charles.

the launching being from p4 to p1.

off the line meaning turn 1.

truly it was a sight to see.

meanwhile, lewis had also managed to jump from p17 up to p12 and it seemed like he was on a regular rampage.

that is until, he managed to beach himself in the gravel on lap 2, effectively ending his race.

“That’s so unusual for lewis” said the announcers and they were right because !!! lewis has only had 32 dnfs in his whole career. which has been 18 years now.

regardless. there was a yellow flag. and a safety car! in this economy! we have had no safety car since Canada! (and this is the longest no safety car steak since 2003)

lando was attempting to say that max pushed him off the track to pass him (untrue) and lance dropped back down towards the back of the grid because he seemingly left the track and gained an advantage over alex albon but then clearly somehow lost that advantage

charles was already over a second ahead of max and had the fastest lap.

this was when lovely roommate katya said “you know. i too might think that charles leclerc is the seconding coming of christ”

though hold your prancing horses because carlos was having a problem.

he had dropped back a little, said he had no power on the corners and that it smelled like fuel in his car. “it smells a lot like fuel in the car guys” he said again on lap 10. he was told to sit tight. there wasn't really much else he Could do obviously but it was still slightly stressful.

while that was happening, zhou took a spin and came back on in p19.

and then ferrari managed to somehow fix carlos’s car. float like a cadillac sting like a beamer etc etc.

“the ferrari pace is mighty” martin said. “only max can stay near it”

liam lawson meanwhile had managed to pass fernando for 11th, with no comments this time. liam, btw, was not racing under the number 95 despite being the worlds biggest lightning mcqueen fan. he was racing under the number 30. unsure why he picked that number but. liam. i am disappointed.

george had managed to get into 15th. remember that he started from the pit lane. he then passed bottas for 14th and starting to chase down franco for 13th. this is something of a usual thing for george when he gets a penalty or a bad start, he becomes an absolute menace.

meanwhile charles was now 5.5 seconds clear of max.

and max had some kind of issue that he was told would get sorted out in the pit stop.

george managed to get past franco for 13th.

but he was given a five second penalty for apparently pushing bottas off the track.

george was displeased.

“what?” he said, comically.

“total joke with the penalty george, total joke” toto said over the radio.

so george only then became, somehow, more of a menace as the sole merc left standing. he was offered, btw, lewis’s upgrades after he had crashed in qualifying, but was like yeah fuck that i don't want the upgrades because they don't really work. so he was racing on the singapore spec car.

in any case! the stewards had not been being consistent with the penalties At All which was apparently going to get discussed in the upcoming union meeting, along with the swearing.

yuki and nico had a “terrific tussle” but it ended with yuki pitting. still it was good racing, hope you're watching horner!

and then carlos also decided to employ a Good Ferrari Strategy (they had clearly been saving it, those need to charge up like uh idk shells or something in mario kart? idk how mario kart works either sorry maybe IM the one batting a thousand today) by undercutting max on his pit stop. carlos pitted on lap 22.

charles was slightly displeased. “don't leave me out for too long i don't want to be under pressure” he said on lap 24.

and then, somehow, mclaren had pace again. and they started talking about something called the germany situation?

max came in to pit BUT the damage had already been done, carlos was ahead, he had undercut him!!!

and charles then came in on lap 26, with ferrari actually listening to him (for once)

pierre gasly had previously been pretty high up in the points but was having a rather rotten sour run of it down on his hard tires, which seemed to be a common complaint from almost everyone, but he went off the track to pass alex albon and then got a black and white flag for track limits, but no penalty…hm.

george was still rage mode insaning.

ferrari though still managed to have a classic ferrari moment despite how well they were doing because carlos was told “more phase 1 brake release in turn 1” and he said “i don't know what that means.”

mclaren finally pitted on lap 33. “theyre getting real dramatic on the mclaren pit wall” crofty said. “‘trust the car,’ ‘papaya rules,’ ‘the germany situation.’”

then, pierre got a five second penalty for the alex albon incident.

george, somehow, had gotten up to 6th and was chasing oscar. though he was on a one stop and was just about to come in (along with liam lawson)

the lead at this point was charles, carlos, max, lando and oscar. with lando setting the fastest lap.

and yuki and alex were now under investigation for an Incident with the Track Limits (see i told you there were plenty of penalties this weekend. maybe everyone got upset that kevin had stopped war criming) and yuki ended up with a 5 second penalty for it.

and in case you were wondering, checo (p9) was once again stuck behind franco colapinto (p8) in a race.

martin told us all that he had tried to introduce himself to franco earlier this weekend, but franco ignored him. he might have thought that martin was trying to steal his umbrella.

max was also complaining about the hard tires. “these tires just arent good, i cant brake i cant attack i cant do anything”

checo finally managed to pass colapinto on lap 38

yuki was mad that liam had ended up in front of him and he was told that “other car was more powerful than expected”

kevin magnussen got YELLED AT to box and i literally mean that his engineer was like “YOU MUST BOX NOW” but despite that it was a normal and standard pit stop.

carlos set the fastest lap on lap 40. charles responded with a faster one. they were still p2 and p1 respectively.

george pitted and served his 5 second time penalty. he came out in 8th. and yuki took a little spin in turn 1.

there were now 1.5 seconds between max and lando. who were battling for p3.

george took the fastest lap on lap 43. he had never before had a points finish after starting any lower than 18th. he overtook nico for 7th and then started to chase down checo for 6th, already lapping one second faster than him per lap.

meanwhile, lando had drs on max. and they were scrapping around like it was austria again.

franco then took the fastest lap on lap 48 and he was in p10 so he would get the extra point.

lando was .3 seconds behind max.

“textbook defensive driving from max” martin said.

they were still going. lando tried to pass max multiple times, but max was always slightly ahead and lando just ran out of room. he did finally manage to get in front on lap 53.

but it was off the track.

both had different views.

“he overtook me outside of the track!” max said

“I was ahead at the apex” lando said.

“he needs to give it back!” max said.

and so they went under investigation.

mclaren argued that both cars went off the track (because they did) but that lando was ahead at the apex.

while that nonsense was happening. esteban ocon went fastest (later franco got mad about this in a post interview he was like he took my fastest lap! why did he pit with two laps left for softs! cmon were supposed to be saving the planet! or something.)

in any case though, lando had exceeded track limits a bunch of times at this point and red bull told max that they were at least expecting lando to get a five second penalty for track limits, if not overtaking outside of the track. so max went flat out chasing him back down.

and george passed checo on lap 56.

lando was indeed given a 5 second penalty.

and he only finished 4.2 seconds ahead of max, so we had max getting p3.

but more importantly: CHARLES AND CARLOS GOT A 1-2!!!!

“and that's my boy! another win!” charles’s race engineer said.

lando was not in a mood to celebrate though. “well then i should have given it back shouldn't i?” he asked about the position over the radio, defeatedly.

“my god that was a hard race,” max said. “bit weird that you can overtake off the track.”

“well you cant,” his engineer said.

and while charles took his time waving to his adoring fans, everyone else pulled into parc ferme.

charles p1

carlos p2

max p3

lando p4

oscar p5

george p6

checo p7

nico p8

liam p9

franco p10

kevin p11

pierre p12

fernando p13

yuki p14

lance p15

alex p16

valtteri p17

esteban p18

guanyu p19

lewis DNF

and jenson button was waiting to interview the top 3

max said that he had opinion on how the overtaking with lando went but he wouldn't say

charles and carlos were distracted taking pictures and made jenson wait lol

carlos said that he did have to settle for p2 but was impressed with the pace and said that ferrari are doing much better this year (remember this car had no damn upgrades just charles a hope and a dream)

charles said that it was a difficult weekend but “well it was a pretty good turn 1, that was what i wanted to do!” and he also said that he is still targeting the WDC title, which he has something like a 2.7% chance of winning. stay delusional charles we love you.

the trophies were weird and by weird i mean literally shaped like tires. like they were tires. except charles was different. carlos dropped his and it bounced. the reason was that they had other ones but apparently they couldn't use them for copyright reasons? or something. so they got tires.

also mclaren ended their podium streak.

and ferrari are only 8 points behind red bull in the constructors championship now.

all in all it was a rather exciting race, for everyont except maybe oscar who said it was “pretty boring. my job was to find pace and keep people behind so that was my hour and a half.” he did also say that maybe lando and max and everyone else who got five second penalties should have “maybe done nascar rules and fought it out on track or in the garage (as in beat eachother up) but some people tried and got community service for it”

liam lawson also slayed. he went from 19th to 9th. in his first race of the season after a year out of the cars.

he said that he hasnt “spoken to him [fernando] since [yesterday, the sprint] i don't think ive done anything wrong, i expected him to put up more of a fight but he didn't.”

ollie bearman also appeared in the post race show and suggested that he replace will buxton as a presenter for mexico. “haas brought an upgrade this weekend, f1tv brings and upgrade next weekend.” they told him not to change.

also the dallas cowboys cheerleaders appeared and got james hinchcliffe to dance with them? and he was kind of flirting the whole time? actually they were both flirting the whole time? it was truly baffling.

but back to racing. lando thought he was in the right with what the team argued but “i don't make the rules.” also the presenters said that he keeps making the same passing move on max and doesnt do it quick enough so max has time to predict it.

charles was asked in the press conference if his strategy changed because of max. max told him to just say yes when charles hesitated.

and there was probably more but seeing as we have exactly presently 4 hours and 10 minutes to lights out in mexico and i still havent watched qualifying we don't have time for this.

we do though have time for one story and that is this:

my dad went on a business trip to austin texas early on monday morning after the race. and the whole time we were joking like oh haha watch dad run into a driver.

well

only my father could manage to check into the same hotel that liam lawson was checking out of by sheer and absolute coincidence.

his texts to the family group chat were, well, a little unhinged as he didn't remember liams name but somehow recognized him as a driver (despite the fact that he is probably the most obscure of them right now) and remembered what team he drove for. (ask me how you remember visa cashapp racing bulls but not liam lawson? i have no idea but that's my father for you) but he did tell us that he looked like “the guy from teen beach” meaning ross lynch. i don't know how my father even knew this comparison. he has seen teen beach once and fell asleep during crusin for a bruisin

so a few google searches later he had a name. which he shared with us.

since he was busy packing his car to presumably go to the airport, my dad elected not to bother him (he also couldn't remember if he had raced on sunday and didn't want to go up and be like hey good job! when he didn't know if he had raced)

but he did take exactly 7 stalkerish photos of him. which he shared with us. which i will now share with you so that you all believe me that this really happened.

and with that out of the way. ill see you all very very shortly in mexico.

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long).

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go.

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now.

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness:

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory.

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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago.

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki.

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding.

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

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then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where!

ferrari? no that would be too obvious.

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show!

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025.

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power.

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari.

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical.

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can.

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile.

but! there is more!

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off.

and with that. the baku lore.

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events.

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

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speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls.

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks.

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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right?

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying.

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say.

but alas. qualifying.

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE.

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box.

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that.

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster)

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won.

and franco has never been to baku before.

i think that's all the exposition that we need here.

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3.

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice.

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando.

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault)

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag.

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader.

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up.

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled.

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow”

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon.

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th.

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race.

steaming on forward to q3.

we had, for review, in q3 the following:

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri.

right out the gate it was wild.

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment.

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer.

here were the standings:

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap.

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results:

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit.

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race.

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth.

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid.

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a spot to nico.

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio.

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being.

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL.

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past.

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break.

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th.

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap.

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo.

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly.

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando.

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do?

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race.

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits.

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo.

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control.

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done.

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place.

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said.

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.”

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not.

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to.

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working.

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando.

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too.

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct.

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem.

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.”

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship.

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!!

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened.

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash.

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car.

which meant

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3!

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit!

“yes!” he whispered over the radio.

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating.

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he also got driver of the day!

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting.

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner”

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice.

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled:

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran:

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically.

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters.

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

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-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now”

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.”

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram.

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today!

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now.

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren.

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise.

see you all soon!!!

#not a tag #from saph #saph explains silly season 2024 #cota 2024 #i dont want to hear it #there are 14 minutes until lights out in brazil I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT I KNOW IT WAS CLOSE OKAY #Youtube #Instagram

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tomhollandnet · 4 years ago

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Tom Holland in the Wild and Woeful Cherry: Exclusive First Look

Cherry is a movie that dares you to try and describe it in a few lines. It’s the first film that Anthony and Joe Russo have directed following their Avengers finales, Infinity War and Endgame, and it reunites them with Spider-Man star Tom Holland. It also compresses their penchant for large-scale action and cataclysm into the core of a single person.

Holland’s title character is both volatile and vulnerable, a hard-knock nobody from Cleveland who’s just scraping by but doesn’t even have any big dreams to guide him. Every solution to his problems only deepens the trouble: College isn’t working out, so Cherry joins the Army to serve in Iraq as a medic. He returns home haunted and damaged, and starts abusing opioids to blunt his PTSD. To pay for the drugs, he resorts to bank robbery. The more desperate he gets, the more banks he has to rob.

It’s tempting to call this film, which hits theaters first on February 26 and then premieres globally on Apple TV+ on March 12, a smaller, more intimate project from the brothers who made some of Marvel’s most grandiose films. It’s definitely a passion project for them. But Cherry is also a sprawling tale that ventures around the world, albeit locked within the mind of Holland’s sweet-natured, grimly addicted bandit.

“We do think about it as an epic film, and it is very much a person’s life journey,” said Anthony Russo. “But it does have a little bit of a split personality between being this character study and an epic life cycle.”

They described Cherry as six movies in one, spanning from the mid 2000s to the present. “He travels a great distance over a 15-year period,” Joe Russo said. “The movie’s broken up into six chapters that reflect those different periods, and each one has a different tone. It’s shot with different lenses, different production design. One’s got magical realism. Another chapter is absurdism. Another is horror…There’s a bit of gonzo in it. It’s raw in its tone. He’s a character in existential crisis.”

Based on the 2018 novel by Nico Walker, the screenplay was written by the filmmakers’ sister, Angela Russo-Otstot (V, The Shield), and Jessica Goldberg (The Path). “The book was very, very self-aware, self-deprecating, and self-loathing,” Joe said.

They felt a strong connection, even if the story doesn’t necessarily mirror their own. It’s close enough: “We’re from Cleveland and Nico’s from Cleveland. Interestingly enough, we know a lot of people that are implied in the book,” Joe added. “I think he’s fictionalized names and personalities. But I worked at the same restaurant that Nico worked at, 10 years apart. So he had a very similar upbringing to us. He just had a very different journey than we did.”

The Russos also wanted to tell a story about the people back home who are hurting. “Ohio is unfortunately at ground zero in the fight against the opioid crisis. And we’ve got a lot of people in our family that have either passed on or died from the crisis, or are struggling with their current addiction. So, this is a very, very personal movie for us.”

The one bright spot in Cherry’s life is Emily (Ciara Bravo, A Teacher), whose devotion to the love of her life may reveal her own self-destructive tendencies. While she’s the stabilizing thing he clings to, the only pure thing in his life, Cherry’s reckless actions threaten to destroy her too.

“The love story is the central spine of the film,” Anthony said. “Without that relationship in the movie, it all falls apart for him. We knew that we needed to make her presence and her character glow in the moments that we did have with her.”

“We really wanted someone that embodied that sense of innocence for him. It was a dream girl, the girl next door,” Joe said.

That’s a quality Holland also brings to the screen, from his breakthrough as a resilient kid trying to survive a tsunami in 2012’s The Impossible to his “aw, shucks” approach to Peter Parker in the Marvel films. With Cherry, the 24-year-old weaponizes that boyishness, allowing it to be battered and bruised and blasted off of him by the harshest things life can throw at a person.

The Russo brothers know this might sound like a turnoff. That’s why they wanted the role to go to Holland, whom they had successfully lobbied to get the part of Spider-Man in 2016’s Civil War.

“When Tom walked into the room…what, six years ago? He was younger, raw. His charisma just blew us away. There was an effortless charm to him,” Anthony said. “As an actor, that is very difficult to replicate. He’s just so likable. We knew for this part we were going to need someone of Tom’s charisma to keep the audience from shutting down during the darker parts of the film.”

“This is a movie that’s supposed to define the experience of having PTSD, the experience of being addicted to opioids,” Joe added. “And the mission of the film is to generate empathy, not to generate disdain, not to indict. It was critical that you empathize with his struggle and his journey because a lot of people are going through this, and they’re having a very human experience. I think empathy is in incredibly short supply right now in the world. And it’s a tragedy.”

As it traversed a decade and a half, Cherry also gave Holland a chance to show a more somber screen presence. “Tom is a nice person. He is, but he doesn’t let himself get trapped by that. He’s a seeker, he’s an artist, he’s always looking, running after complicated things in life,” Anthony said. “He’s a young actor, right? We haven’t seen him do that much up to this point. This is definitely something he’s had within him the whole time. We just haven’t been able to see it yet.“

Joe and I were surprised ourselves to see how thoroughly committed he was to every facet of that character,” he added. “The darkest, most difficult sides of that character, he really embraced them and ran at them and tried to give them life within himself in a way that not a lot of people could pull off.”

#cherry #articles #tom holland #long post

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1moreff-creator · 1 year ago

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Matching the DRDT Characters with their Roman Numeral Quote (LGI MV)

So, I immediately fell in love with newest Literature Girl Insane MV, and I have to drop everything I’m doing just so I can talk about it. Although there is so much to discuss I don’t even know where to begin, one thing which immediately caught my eye was the crosswords which flashes on the screen for a moment.

As many have figured out, it’s made up of the names of everyone in the cast, plus Mai Akasaki, minus David. As the footnote on “Now” says, it’s better to use full names instead of nicknames (such as Julia instead of J) and to exclude the protagonist of the MV.

Here’s the solution by raspbeyes, who I believe may have been the first person to upload it to Tumblr.

However, what’s really interesting is that, by the nature of a crosswords, it connects all characters with a Roman numeral. And these Roman numerals show up throughout the video, attached to different sentences. That way, you can connect the characters to these sentences. And so, you get some pretty interesting stuff. With that in mind, I went through and collected all the Roman numerals (it’s not very difficult, apart from one exception), and I wanted to share my thoughts on them.

Now, the numbers don’t actually show up chronologically for the most part, and the only real logic they seem to follow is “they show up after the crossword flashed on screen”. I’ve decided to list them in the order of the actual number instead of the chronological order, as I don’t find the latter to be very important (apart from one case).

That said, I will actually start by number two, since number one is a bit of a special case. You’ll see. For now:

II - Rose ~ Ego cogito ergo (turbatus) sum

We have some latin to kick things off! “Ego cogito ergo sum” is the ever famous “I think therefore I am” philosophy, but in latin! This phrase (from what I understand) claims that the only thing we can be truly and absolutely sure exists, is our own reasoning and consciousness. This fits Rose decently well, as she’s established her photographic memory causes her trouble separating what’s real, what’s a memory, what’s a dream, etc. Even more so, it sorta fits with the song “Cartoons” from the now vanished character playlist, which some theories placed as Rose’s.

However, there is also the addition of “turbatus” to the saying. Turbatus, from a quick Google search, means something like “disturbed”. Thus, the full meaning is something like “I think, therefore I am disturbed”. This fits Rose even better, considering her scene with Teruko and Nico in the dress-up room. Don’t think I have to go too far in explaining this one.

III - Charles ~ If you doubt brittle things are broken

So, is this about his dead brother he doesn’t remember? As in, “if you doubt your memories, as they’re brittle, they’ll break? Or is this talking about the relationships between the cast? “Distrust will lead to our collapse”, sorta fits the talk he had with Teruko early in chapter 2.

However, I actually lean more towards the brother thing, because of the blue, long quote which is flipped upside down on top of the image.

“And now here’s my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”

So, here’s where the Roman numerals become sorta weird. Does this count as part of Charles’ quote or not? I assume it’s at least related, especially seeing some of the other stuff we’ll see in the background.

Now, to the actual quote. I recognize it as a quote from the fox in “The Little Prince”, a book which if you have not read, you should honestly read. It’s a surprisingly sweet book to attach to Charles, but I can honestly see him blushing while talking about it, so it fits.

The quote itself is simple to understand; the material things in the world are not as important as our feelings, relationships, hopes, dreams, all that which can only be seen with the heart. This could be talking about the group’s relationships like I mentioned, but I lean more on thinking it’s referring to the memories of our loved ones, aka, Charles’ memories of his brother. Yes, the fact the quote starts by talking about secrets influences this interpretation.

IV - Arei ~ Right now, why do you cry?

Not much to talk about here. Arei’s the victim of this chapter, that’s why she cries. You can read into it a bit more and claim it has to do with Arei’s bullying of other people (“why are you crying, you wimp?” is something which could conceivably come out of her mouth), or more optimistically, it’s talking about how Arei used to only cry crocodile tears, but as she’s grown more empathetic, she now cries for her friends. Or some sappy shit like that.

Yeah, it’s still probably just about being the CH 2 victim.

V - Ace ~ Right now, why do you go insane? [flipped]

I’m not gonna lie, I kinda laughed a bit when I checked which character this one belonged to. Yeah, it’s pretty fitting, Ace is always going off for the most inane stuff.

More interesting is perhaps the background quote, “a cat has 9 additional lives”. Considering we’re talking about one of two people who’ve survived murder attempts so far, it makes sense, though I wonder if it’s going to come into play again later.

… Also, this just confirms in my mind the song from the playlist which belonged to Ace was “Yesman”. Undead, undead! and all that. I swear I’ll make a post about it eventually, I’m just more focused on this at the moment.

VI - Arturo ~ mind exercise 1 2 3 4

… Uh, well, as a surgeon, he do be exercising that mind though? Or something like that. Yeah, frankly I got nothing. This is just another moment where we Arturo enjoyers gotta take the L.

(Yes, I did just come out as an Arturo enjoyer-)

VII - J ~ Do it like that, let’s live together!

Another one I have no answer for. Like, what do you want me to say, this implies J’s the mastermind? Because it sort of does, seeing as she’s telling everyone to live together. But I really don’t see anything too interesting in the main quote.

However, the background quote may be more noteworthy. Anything in brackets is covered by something else but can be guessed with context.

“The Moral La[w] causes the people to be in com[plete accord] with their ruler, so that they wi[ll f]ollo[w] [him] regard[less of] their lives, undis[mayed] by any danger”

Had to look this one up. J’s quote is from Sun Tzu’s “Art of War” of all goddamn things. The Moral Law the quote is talking about is, from basic research in Google, some sort of unity of purpose; the idea that if the followers and the rules have the same interests, their side will have an advantage in war.

… What?

Yeah, this one’s a bit odd too. For now, my best answer is that it may have to do more with Mariabella than J herself. If you see Mariabella as a sort of leader, and her fans as the followers, it could be talking about how the combined pressure of Mariabella and the media overwhelm J, the “other side” of the “war”.

But if you’re really into the mastermind J idea, you can read it as “she’s the leader of the killing game, with the followers being the people at home that have the same purpose of wanting to see despair and keep the show running by watching”. But I really doubt we’d be getting this sort of mastermind allusions in an MV from chapter 2 of all things.

If anyone has better ideas on this quote or any other, I’d love to hear them.

VIII - Nico ~ even if i try to think, idk!

Another one I can’t talk too much about. My best guess as to what this means is “Nico tries to think about social cues, but doesn’t get it”. Relatable, but also nothing new. Maybe I’m missing something big, but it’s what I got for now.

IX - Levi ~ look, aside from the usual, give me that medicine

Disclaimer, the words don’t actually appear in that order in the MV, but this phrase makes a lot more sense than “look aside from that the usual medicine give me”.

I really don’t know what this means. I mean, I can guess Levi might take some medicine? Whit did say some people took prescriptions apparently. But I really don’t quite understand why this is the first time we’ve had his character associated with medicine.

EDIT: The last few paragraphs about Levi are dead wrong, I’m just leaving by them up so you can laugh at how stupid I was. Here’s a correction with a better analysis.

The background quote doesn’t make it much better. It’s just talking about the orbit of a thing, something something representative trajectory… something something Jupiter… something something 1930…

Oh shit, it’s about the discovery of Pluto! That’s what Google seems to think when I put those keywords in, anyways. Well, as fun an astronomy tale as that one is, I actually have no idea what it means for Levi’s character. I guess it’s something we’ll see in the future.

… Or maybe, crazy idea. You know how Pluto was first thought to be a “planet” but then got reclassified as”dwarf planet”? Maybe this means my theory is right: Levi will get “discovered” as the blackened of the second trial, but then “reclassified” as an accomplice when they find out Eden is actually-

Alright, I’ll stop. I’m joking, obviously… (unless?)

X - Min ~ Democratic-ly

Wait, hold on a second, you may say. That is an X, but it doesn’t really look like the rest of roman numerals font-wise. There are plenty of times X’s appear in the video aside from here, such as… well, the blank death portrait that’s always in the background.

And yes. To my joy, Min got given a bit of special treatment, since the roman numeral for ten, being an X and all, can be seen all throughout the video. However, there is one reason I believe this is absolutely Min’s X.

You see that tiny little 10 next to the X? That’s a footnote. And footnote number 10 is “The Roman numeral for 10 is X”. Of course, the reason we’re reminded of it here is because that X isn’t just a bunch of blood, it’s a Roman numeral.

Of course, Min gets the biggest numeral because she is just that much of a girlboss.

Anyways, numeral oddity aside, it’s pretty obvious why this is Min’s. The background text is just the description of the rules of a class trial, a trial where the outcome is decided democratically, and the reason Min died. This scene is directly followed by more references to class trials, which although they have some interesting implications for the MV as a whole, only help to solidify Min’s connection to her line.

As for other footnotes, footnote seventeen on the word “democratic-ly” is just an objective fact (“Not a real word. Can’t be found on any dictionary”), though the fact “democratically” is spelt wrong could be a reference to Min’s execution, where she was forced to get a lot of things wrong before dying.

Final note is footnote 12, on the class trial definition, which talks about majority rule and how, because it’s the fairest way to make decisions in a group, “murderers never complained when we voted for them to die”. There are implications here about the fact Teruko also received votes in the first trial, but for Min, there isn’t anything new here.

And yes, Min got three footnotes. As she should.

XI - Mai ~ God is dead

Honestly, I guessed who got this line before even checking the crossword. It just fits what we know of Mai too much. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s enough to know she would get a line as dramatic as this. If you want a proper interpretation, Mai is sometimes treated like a god by the others considering the secret quotes, but now she’s dead or gone or something.

Of course, that’s the literal meaning of that phrase. When you look at it through the lens of Nietzsche (and Wikipedia to make sure I didn’t fuck up anything), the phrase “God is dead” refers to the idea that as christianity became increasingly non-universal, the ethical and sociocultural elements of society which had been built on it would be questioned and revised. So, “growing lack of faith causes shifts in the status quo”, or something like that. It’s something which, again, may fit Mai from what we know of her backstory. Someone everyone had unquestioned faith on, who did something which had consequences, so maybe that caused a breakdown of that original faith, or something? Anything involving this character is always extremely speculative, but I frankly think the more literal interpretation works better in this context.

In any case, this phrase is about as cryptic and dramatic as everything involving Mai, so it fits.

XII - Eden ~ ???: But you’re in my way, aren’t you?

… Alright, Eden, I know I believe you to be the CH 2 killer and all that, but you gotta at least try to defend yourself against the allegations! The hell is this?

In case anyone was wondering, I think she’s the killer who wants to get out to meet back up with the girl she kissed (who I’m starting to get convinced is Mai but I’m not ready for that conversation), so this line reads like something she’d say to Arei in that theory. However, it’d be kind of a weird thing to put in the MV before the chapter ends, and besides, there’s an interpretation I like more.

You see how there’s a triple question question mark there? There’s a chance someone is saying this to Eden. I’ll actually get back to this later, because I have to talk about XVI before I cover my theory on this. Apologies.

CW for XIII: Suicide

XIII - Teruko ~ or

… He. Alright, out of context, this is kinda funny. But if you let the MV play, it’s “… or not to be?”, from “To be or not to be?” Shakespeare and all that. That said, the video does, in fact, only keep the number on screen while it says “or”, so I choose to notate Teruko’s quote as just that. Also, as raspbeyes noted in their original post, the number thirteen is considered unlucky, so Teruko.

With that, I have to talk about how insanely dark it is to cut that phrase off at the “…or not to be” section. For anyone who hasn’t read this speech from Hamlet (which I hadn’t either, btw, had to look it up), the phrase “to be or not to be” is actually about suicidal ideation, with the word ‘be’ serving as a synonym for ‘live’. Therefore, cutting the phrase off at just this section leaves behind only suicide as the option.

It had already been implied Teruko has attempted suicide before (see: her telling Arei that failed hangings hurt a lot), and that her luck is the only thing keeping her alive. This just seems to imply it’s a much more present issue than we believed.

Then there’s the background text. From my research, the one on the left is a quote from “Murder on the Orient Express” and the one across the bottom is from “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas”.

“Murder on the Orient Express” is easy to tie in, as it’s literally a murder mystery novel. Uh, spoilers for the novel, I guess, but it ends with the main detective, Poirot, concluding that the murderer was either no one in the train or everyone there. That sort of ties into Teruko’s hidden quote of “It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all”, I guess? For the line itself, it seems to be about a character hatefully looking at the detective. You can take Poirot to be Teruko because she’s decent at class trials (as opposed to everyone else being horrible at them), and the person looking at her to be… any blackened, or anyone, or David, take a pick.

“The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas” is a bit weirder. It’s a short story about Omelas, an utopia which is the perfect life for everyone there, except for a young child who is forced to live in mysery for the sake of the others. The quote in the video expresses this pretty succinctly. I guess it’s talking about class trials? How the happiness of everyone hinges on one person being very unhappy? Teruko’s the protag, so it makes sense she gets a line like this. There could be other interpretations, but I think that’s the most straightforward one.

XIV - Veronika ~ Things like substance of the arts

I mean, it fits. Veronika’s talent is artistic in nature. It seems a bit… non-dramatic for Veronika? But I guess there’s nothing wrong here.

… Well, there may be, but I’ll get there in a moment.

XV - Whit ~ Remaining ignorant, isn’t that “happiness”?

(Trust me, that’s the order the words show up on screen)

This one’s also easy. Whit’s secret is “Your mother is dead. You omit this truth”. This, combined with his behavior in the killing game, characterizes Whit as someone who prefers to ignore tragedy rather than process it, remaining “ignorant” in a way. The footnote attached, 15, just talks about the phrase “ignorance is bliss”, which is pretty much what the quote is.

…

The problem is the background text.

Thinking Time: “Subtract 4 due to tetraphobia”

That’s the phrase in the background, which appears as both Veronika’s and Whit’s lines are there. This is noteworthy because this is the only time in the MV that two different Roman numerals appear on screen at the same time. The phrase is also attached to footnote 4, which defines tetraphobia:

“The practice of avoiding the number four; it is most common in Eastern Asia. This superstition arises from the fact that the number 4 can be read similar to the word ‘death’ in several languages”

This connection is further implied because the character with the Roman numeral IV is Arei, who died this chapter. There is special attention brought over and over again to the number four, and this phrase asks us to “subtract” it.

And of course, this phrase chooses to appear when two “characters” are on screen, to make sure we can’t figure it out definitively.

Let’s start with Veronika: If you substract four from fourteen you get ten (astounding maths, I know). That connects her to Min and “democratic-ly”… which is the part of the MV most related to class trials and the killing game. Because if there’s a way to look like the mastermind, you bet Veronika’s hopping right on that train!

Other than being “Veronika playing mastermind footsies” for the fiftieth time, and the fact she sorta enjoys class trials, I don’t see any other connection between her and Min’s section, so.

I should address, too, you can remove 4 from 14 in a more literal way, and end up with 1 (doing it with Roman numerals just gets you ten again). This would connect her to Xander, whose line I’ve yet to cover, but trust me on this, I don’t think it connects to Veronika.

However, that’s for the line itself. Veronika might actually have a connection to Xander himself, because of their lines about Mai. Xander’s is “she couldn’t stand to do nothing” and Veronika’s is “a girl who didn’t foresee the consequences”. These are the only lines which allude to whatever big thing Mai may have done. If Xander and Veronika have a connection, it is likely through Mai.

And then there’s Whit, who is also on-screen at the time. Or, well, his Roman numeral is.

Alright, Whit. Veronika’s being super suspicious, so the tetraphobia line has a good chance of being about her. All you gotta do is be normal about this “subtract four” thing, alright? Good.

When you subtract 4 from Whit’s 15, you get 11, which is Mai’s “God is dead”-

For fuck’s sake.

He really just can’t dodge these mastermind allegations, can he? Anyways, if this is about him, he killed Mai, or something, and thus is likely the mastermind.

I’m joking- well, kinda. There are other interpretations, like maybe he… was the first to lose faith in her, in the Nietzsche interpretation of Mai’s line? I don’t know, but the murder is the more straightforward answer for this, if you ask me.

The problem, of course, is that there’s no way to tell which character the “subtract four” thing applies to. Well, the use of the word “tetraphobia” feels more Veronika leaning, what with phobias being related with horror and psychology, but to counterbalance, the line only appears when Whit’s numeral shows up, so it’s even again.

Anyways, back to the last numeral in sequence.

XVI: Hu ~ ???: Go and cry

Alright, you don’t have to be so mean-

In all seriousness, I believe this relates to Hu’s reaction to David’s reveal. And possibly her secret if it’s the one Veronika has.

However, what’s interesting about this line is that it seems to be a direct quote from a character, because of the triple question mark at the beginning. And this is where my theory comes in.

I believe triple question marks is David. This would fit perfectly with this line, as it’s totally something David would say post-magical girl transformation. And with him being the protagonist of the MV, it makes sense for him to be involved.

And that takes me back to XII. If you remember, I said I would talk about Eden’s line a bit more after talking about XVI.

Well, it’s pretty simple, really. Eden’s line comes right after Hu’s in the video, so it’s reasonable to assume ??? is the same person for both of them. In other words, I believe it’s David who tells Eden “but you’re in my way, aren’t you?” This still implies Eden’s the CH2 blackened, by the way. As in, “you’re getting in my way because now I need to figure out a murder”, or something like that. There really isn’t any other thing it could be referring to. Unless it’s like, “you’re getting in my way because you’re so nice you’re preventing murders from happening” or “you’re getting in my way of manipulating Arei by befriending her”, but the first one is too abstract and the second one doesn’t work since David didn’t know about their friendship until after Arei died. So don’t go thinking I’m giving up on that theory. It just changes the context a bit.

And with that, we’ve successfully gone through the sixteen numbers. Except, wait! Don’t think I forgot about the funny British boy!

Well, to be frank with you, there is a reason why I chose to save Xander for last. And that is… I didn’t want to start the list with disappointment.

I - Xander ~ Inconclusive

See, the problem is that Xander runs into much the same issue as Min, but without a footnote to help solve the problem. The Roman numeral for 1 is just “I”, so any time the word I appears, Xander’s Roman numeral appears.

Now, maybe you think this is stupid. Obviously any time “I” appears as an actual word, it’s not meant to be Xander’s numeral! We just need to look for the time it’s not a part of the lyrics or a phrase in the text!

This is obviously the most intuitive solution, and it does arrive at… an answer. So, I present, the First Possibility.

First Possibility

I - Xander ~ (the world of abnormal sentiment dances)

Now, at first glance, this works! You have the numeral next to a phrase, and there’s nothing else it could be!

Except, the problem is that that only extends to the screenshot. In this part of the video, the same phrase is on the screen for a good few seconds, but the “I” disappears and gets replaced by several numbers, then the “&” symbol, more numbers, and what seems to be a “=“ sign, maybe? But could be II sideways. Don’t know, looks like code, not my expertise.

The issue here is that this would be the only time a character’s phrase lingers longer than their numeral. This is pretty inconsistent with the other phrases we’ve seen, which is what gets me to hesitate and wonder if that “I” is actually made to be part of the code and not the crossword thing.

That, combined with the line itself. Because what does “the world of abnormal sentiment dances” have to do with Xander? I looked it up, but it’s not the name of a book or anything. Maybe I’m missing something, but I really don’t think this is related to Xander in any way.

So, I looked for other possibilities. The problem is that, like I said, all other possibilities are part of lyrics or phrases, not a standalone numeral.

And yet, there is one which stands out to me as a good candidate. This has a high chance of being wrong, but I’ll bring it up anyways because I think it’s cool.

Second Possibility

I - Xander ~ I hate the things that I love, and I love the things that I hate

… Well, I know it’s hard to read it in that clusterfuck, but that is what the red text says.

This line has a bit more to do with Xander, or at least, David’s feelings towards Xander. We know he probably did like him based on some scenes from the MV, but he’s sad about his death. He hates him for leaving, but his heart loves him anyways. That could be read as romantic or platonic… hesitant on the platonic-

That said, the problem is explaining why I believe this is the Xander line. And that comes down to the background text.

… Yes, that background text.

You see, in the MV, it slowly fills out in a way which lets you read it somewhat. I’ll tell you what each part of the text means, but if you want visuals, I’ll ask you go to the video.

What first appears is white text on top and the right. The white text on top is Big Clue #1, as it’s a definition of electrocution. You know, that thing Xander died from.

The text on the right, meanwhile, seems to be an excerpt from “Alice in Wonderland”. The specific passage seems to feature Alice lamenting how much “pleasenter” [sic] things were “back home”. And well, for everyone but Teruko, their homes were likelier “pleasenter” than the killing game. However, in this context, it could be an analogy to David missing the past, when Xander was still alive.

Then, more white text appears on the bottom as yellow text appears under the white text on top. The bottom text is, again, more talk of electrocution, but the yellow text is a bit more complex. This is the line (from Google, exact wording may vary):

“To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world...”

Another “The Little Prince” quote, another straight banger (I love that book). Imma need the hornier of you to not focus too much on the “taming” wording and focus on the important part. This one speaks of the beautiful simplicity of relationships; everyone is “just some dude” until you meet them and establish a relationship, and then, they become unique.

This is an especially wonderful quote for Xander and David’s relationship. David truly wanted nothing more than to be “a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes” instead of the idol Xander saw him as. He wanted a genuine relationship with him, where they were not just each other’s idols, but something bigger; each other’s boyfriends :D

Alright, sappy stuff aside, this quote is related to Xander, that’s what you need to know.

Then there’s the big pink text. It says “note: can’t read”. Yeah, fair.

But before that note appears, some cyan text begins sprawling out. It’s not a quote from anything as far as I can tell, so here’s a transcript:

“…man crushed by reality puts on a s[how]…

…[of end]urance. If that’s beyond your

[com]prehension, dear reader, then you a[nd]…

[I’ll n]ever understand each other. Life’s…

[short?] so we might as well make it…

[count?] real life is a realm th…”

So, yeah, I’m sort of guessing half the words here, and I can’t even tell what the last line is, but I think we can get the gist from this. Reading this with the context that Xander’s probably connected, it’s easy to figure out. David was crushed by reality when Xander died, and he put on a show of endurance after that. The insult to the reader is a bit uncalled for, but I don’t particularly care, it fits David.

So, with the idea that this little breakdown is related to Xander, it’s safe to say the line “I hate the things that I love, and I love the things that I hate” (not a quote from anywhere I could find btw) is linked with Xander as well.

And, well. There are other references to Xander, but they’re never paired with an “I”. And there are other instances of the word “I”, but never in relation to Xander, at least not as much as this little breakdown.

This clusterfuck of text also forms directly after the crosswords shows up. And while most of these aren’t in chronological order, number II through V do. Wouldn’t it make sense for I to appear right after the crosswords and make I through V in chronological order?

In any case, I believe this is a decent alternative to the “world of abnormal sentiment dances”, whatever that means.

Conclusion

This was really fun! I am satiated for now, the content drop was awesome, I loved it a lot. There’s so much more I want to talk about in this MV, but this was priority number one in my mind.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading! If you made it this far, you deserve your own Roman numeral, all for yourself! Take care!

142 notes · View notes

the-ghost-king · 3 years ago

Note

About the cupid scene, Nico was forced to come out, but its also made very clear that Cupid is the bad guy. So is Aphrodite to an extent. They have a twisted and fundamental misunderstanding of love and how it works for mortals. I get that people could be mad about how Nico was forced to come out and putting him through more emotional trauma, but I also think its very realistic in showing how callous and cruel the gods understanding of love is.

I am reminded of the quote by Madeline Miller, "There is no law that gods must be fair..."

I also understand why the scene might be traumatic for other young LGBTQ+ readers, I've seen a lot of people talk about the fear of being outed in regards to them reading that scene as a kid. I completely respect their feelings on that, and I understand that as well. However, as someone who had been forcibly outed once before reading that scene, that scene really helped heal me. I don't think the Cupid scene is inherently homophobic, and I'm often bothered by the lack of nuance regarding around how it's handled.

I recognize it's a very emotional scene, and that people may have a hard time fully separating their emotions from that scene, but at the same time if there's a group of people saying "hey I understand why you disliked this scene but it was really helpful to me as a child because of the different experiences I had" maybe slow the breaks and hear what others also in the community have to say before determining if the scene is homophobic. You don't have to like the scene, and yeah maybe the scene did hurt you but that doesn't make it homophobic.

I want to specify on my word choice there a little closer, because of course outing someone is an act of homophobia, and the scene is homophobic in that sense. However often times the conversation about homophobia in this scene goes to "Rick was homophobic for writing this" where personally I would say this scene toes the line at being too far without ever crossing it. Some people may think this depiction crosses the line into "Rick was homophobic for writing this" which is fine, but just because something depicted homophobia and hurt you doesn't mean it was homophobic. Something doesn't have to out rightly be stated to be bad, in order to be read as bad*, and the Cupid scene does a wonderful job of depicting this.

I talk here about how Nico is shown what love is, and how love is treated by Nico, and how it affects his character. I think it's important to note that Nico's entire storyline can essentially be encompassed in an Orpheus-like or Odyssey-like tale. Nico's undergone this huge emotional and physical labor all in the name of having some form of unconditional love. I think that post is a really important read in the context of this one because I very carefully outline how love shapes Nico and how Nico shape and chooses his own definition of love, but I want to specifically dig into the Cupid scene on this post.

The big criticism often seen is "it's homophobic" which I covered above, and I want to clarify I'm not upset with or mad at or trying to tell anyone they can't dislike it or even say you can't say it's homophobic (my words on my one post are a bit off I'll admit) but the problem I have is when people believe they hold a moral high ground for thinking it's homophobic, or they remove all nuance from the discussion with "it's homophobic". Which is frustrating and annoying because it's a very complex scene, and it really changes Nico's arc and personality and it does help characterize him.

The big reason it shapes him so much is because of the other largest reason the scene is criticized, Cupid's behavior. What often fails to be recognized in those scenes is that Cupid is intentionally painted as the villain, this is very important to the scene.

In the context of this scene Nico makes an unspoken choice, a choice of "what is love to me?". I talk about how Nico claims his narrative in BoTL when he overcomes Minos, and he partially peaks that arc by convincing Gods to join the final battle of TLO. Following that arc however, Nico falls into his second arc, his crush on Percy was important in PJO, but not as important as it is in HoO.

By HoO Nico's entire character revolves around Percy, how to help Percy, how to aid Percy, etc. All of this has to do with Nico's crush on Percy, but also as an act of repayment because Nico hurt Percy- Nico lied to him about knowing him at New Rome in SoN, and he goes to Tartarus shortly after... This mirrors what Percy did after Hades tricked Nico... Percy choked Nico because he was upset with him, so Nico tried to win back Percy's affection by bathing him in the river.

The Cupid Scene is the resolution of Nico's arc, he is essentially given a choice- Cupid or Jason?

For this reason, we do see Nico recognize love for what it has been vs how it could be.

Cupid is there to represent what love is, to Nico love is brutal, and painful, and a lot of hard work... Nico has made himself utilitarian in love simply because it is the only way he can find any affection. Love to Nico is about flaying yourself for the benefit of others, to trample any and all parts of yourself simply to appease those you care for, because you want them to love you so much as you love them. The parallels I could draw between Nico and Orpheus, or Nico and Odysseus... I'd be here a long while...

In that scene Jason represents the alternative form of love which Nico chooses after his interaction with Cupid.

Jason says during the scene that he "preferred Piper's idea of love" which has to do with kindness and caring, etc, and then Jason becomes the embodiment of that idea during the scene- which showcases the alternative of what love can be, thus making Jason a personification of love in the context of that scene.

Jason looks to Nico, he doesn't ask for more, he simply looks to Nico with understanding and acknowledges him for who he is, and he does the exact opposite of what Nico expects:

Jason loves Nico where he is, without conditions, without forcing Nico to become something more. Jason didn’t force Nico to say more than what was necessary for him to understand, Jason looked at Nico and he called Nico brave.

Cupid is a more volatile form of love than Aphrodite, Cupid shoots arrows that makes people animals, that can make a god grow insane, but Aphrodite's form of love is about acceptance and humanity (think to how she picked Ares over Hephaestus even if it was perhaps "wrong")- both are about truth but one is about force and the other about acceptance.

When Nico walks out of there, he makes his choice- he is forced to come out yes, Cupid is wrong for doing this, but Jason again stays a figure of love in Nico's life. Jason basically says, "Good job, I know that was hard, thank you for sharing and let me know if you need anything, people will care about you and understand you," again and again and again to Nico, he doesn't tell Nico he has to come out, and he agrees to keep it between them for now. Jason is love as acceptance, Jason is the first person who unconditionally loves Nico, and that's the choice.

Will Nico accept unconditional love? If the answer is no, then Cupid wins and Nico is denying himself. If the answer is yes, then Jason and Nico win, and Nico no longer needs to make himself utilitarian in love in order to be loved.

The choice is made with Reyna and Hedge, most specifically Reyna.

When he accidentally comes out to them, and they accept him without making a big deal of it, without show, just that acknowledgement and "thank you for sharing" and Nico accepts their words and friendship still- Nico made his choice then to accept the love he was being freely given.

“He carried so much sadness and loneliness, so much heartache. Yet he put his mission first. He persevered. Reyna respected that. She understood that. She'd never been a touchy-feely person, but she had the strangest desire to drape her cloak over Nico's shoulders and tuck him in. She mentally chided herself. He was a comrade, not her little brother. He wouldn't appreciate the gesture.”

This is where we see the slow and steady, and healthy, end to Nico's arc in regards to love really grow into itself, and he begins to heal. He no longer sees such an intense need to make himself utilitarian for love, and he begins to heal from his internalized homophobia too.

(Internalized homophobia discussions with Nico also bother me too often times, people too often assume you can't date while struggling with internalized homophobia or at least very heavy handedly imply that which is just not true... You may have some issues in your relationship, but you can work through the internalized homophobia while building a new relationship and be just fine. Also to assume someone has an unhealthy relationship because of internalized homophobia is weird and lowkey reinforces the idea that "broken" people don't need love, but also does a huge disservice to so many LGBTQ+ people who are happily married/themselves but still struggle with these feelings, and to see a healthy relationship depiction despite someone in that relationship struggling with internalized homophobia is fine and good actually. As long as the individual can recognize what they're dealing with, and work through it in a healthy and constructive manner, then there's nothing wrong there...)

When I started this post to be honest I thought I would have a lot more to say, it's a scene that touched and changed me so deeply as a person, and beyond that in a more objective experience it completely changes Nico's character, by turning his arc around and beginning his healing process. To be honest, there probably is more to be said on it, I just haven't found the words yet... I know parts of this post are clunky and in a year I'm going to read this and see all the places it could be better but for now I'm content with it.

Whether or not someone considers the scene homophobic is a subjective experience, but I think this is a very well written scene purely for the characterization and symbolism, intentional or otherwise. I don't really care that much to debate if it's truly a homophobic scene or not, I can see both why people say it is and why people say it isn't and that can be culminated into "people have different needs" and "minorities aren't a monolith". Personally my much larger complaint is the complete lack of nuance and insight scenes like this are handled with, not the matter of personal opinion an individual reaches on the scene.

*the post uses the word "adult audience" and yes, fair point, children should not be able to decipher symbolism to the extent adults can. But older children and young teens, which the RRverse series are sold for, is when critical thinking skills and media analysis do begin to become parts of classroom curriculum. The scene does an excellent job of not outright stating Cupid is evil, but of depicting that in a very clear cut way.

#nevermind i lied here you go #nico di angelo #meta #long post #anon #ask #internalized homophobia #fandom homophobia

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cantfightmoonlight · 7 months ago

Text

A scoff broke from her lips. Her eyes rolling over as she took a step inside so that she could blatantly knock against the door, before her gaze snapped back towards his as if to say 'there, happy?'

Jas had no problem ignoring JC's rather childish grumblings, but when he told her that there were worse things around here to fear than losing me, those dark piercing eyes of hers narrowed in on him. Her tongue clicking against the roof of her mouth as she shook her head in disbelief, "And?"

"So what if there are? Who are you to diminish someone else's fears?" She shot back, not bothering to hold back as she told him point blank, "You have one! You have your alpha, but guess what? He's also your friend and your brother, so while it may seem silly to you that losing you may just be the one thing that will break him, it doesn't really fucking matter because it doesn't change the fact that you mean everything to him! You mean everything to him and, you said it yourself, the pack needed an alpha. You couldn't do it on your own, so how can he?"

"Did I say that you haven't? For god sakes, J.C., I'm here because the two of you are a fucking team! So, rather than act like there are worst things around here to fear than losing you, why don't you ask yourself why the guy who always manages to smile and put others at ease even after loosing both of his parents, watching his best friend die , being kidnapped, tied up and tortured and looking death in the face time and time again- why is he cracking now at the thought of loosing you? None of the rest of those things shook him, but, I mean," Jas tried to fight her voice from cracking as Nico's fears and regrets flooded back into the forefront of her mind. "You saw him. It's the first time I've seen him scared. Ever." She shook her head once more. Turning her gaze away, not wanting to give JC that satisfaction of seeing her eyes beginning to well up because she knew fully well, "He's screaming, J.C. The only way he knows how and I can't help him, but you can, so I'm asking you what are you doing? Because he needs you now and, you may not think that's fair or may not see why and I'm not even saying you did anything to hurt him, because you didn't. But does it matter when you are the only one who can make things better?"

"No," She told him after a prolonged pause. "He didn't have to. I could see it. But, what-" Her chin tilted back up as she looked him, caught off guard by his question. "Look, I, um, I'm not really the best person to ask when it comes to family, but if you want my advice, just be there. Advisor or pack or not, it doesn't matter. He just needs to know that he won't loose you too. Even if he fucks up, especially when he fucks up, he needs to know that you be in his life no matter. That's what family is. Unconditional love," She admitted with a small shrug. Only as the mention of witches, a deep sigh broke from her lips. "Though wow. Got it. You know, you may be family now too, but-" She flipped him off.

"Yeah, maybe you should," JC grumbled back, although even he knew that was a stupid fucking response. Maintaining his stance, however, he met Jasmine's eye, annoyed that she had come out here to bother him. He had no patience for it; he had so little patience left for anyone these days, it seemed. And, in truth, he saw no point in hiding this irritation, physically or mentally, seeing as both possibilities seemed to fray everyone's nerves anyway.

"There are worse things around here to fear than losing me," he retorted, his own anger flaring at this suggestion. Nico had no trouble sending him out the Council room like a scolded schoolboy despite apparently needing him so goddamn badly. This thought made his features scrunch up, and Júlio César found himself frustrated with himself for still feeling badly about it. "The pack needed an Alpha. This is so much bigger than either of us. And for the record, I have been there for Nico. I don't appreciate that suggestion that I've done anything less than that."

Family was a challenging word, however. He had no family, not really. For a time, he thought the pack was filling that need, but these days, even those ties he once held so sacred felt like their were slipping through his grasp.

He would step down only for its benefit, if his presence and his insistence were hampering it. He did not mean to harm the pack. He did not mean to harm Nico. "Of course I care about Nico. I would never do anything to deliberately hurt him. I get no pleasure out of...causing him trouble, alright? That's not what this is about. This isn't me setting out to make Nico's life more difficult."

A frustrated hand came up to grip his head, his eyes clenched tight. "Did he say something to you?" This question came weakly. "Like...what does he want? What does he need? I'm trying here to be those things, godammit." And failing, it seemed. JC raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, and...you know, witches." This remark carried no real confrontation, but Silas was not the one standing at his door just this moment.

#jc ft. jasmine #c: jasmine

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dykeseinfeld · 4 years ago

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u asked someone to remind you to post about your pjo dual protagonist thalia/bianca au and i am SO intrigued by this idea please say more

anon asked: hey queen hope your homework went good yesterday 🌸…now what were you saying about thalia and bianca 😳 ?

ok y’all i’m here...the moment almost none of y’all have been waiting for....bianca/thalia protagonists with alternating pov’s au

warning it’s kind of super long and may or may not read like a 2nd grader’s semi-coherent game of pretend so under the cut it goes!

so the main things you need to know about this au are 1. thalia survives and 2. annabeth’s + luke’s ages are a lil diff bc canon is my sandbox 3. i can’t decide if percy exists in this au or not (maybe y’all can help me decide?)

so the first book:

would start a few months after grover brought thalia (12), luke (13), and annabeth (10, not 7) to camp half blood. they were chased by monsters sent by hades on the way, and thalia almost didn’t survive, but ultimately she got lucky and managed to send a bolt of lightning through her spear for the first time and they made it into camp

it’s been some time so annabeth is happy as a clam in the athena cabin doing her 10-year-old-with-severe-mommy-issues thing and luke is actually pretty popular with the hermes cabin bc he actually Met Their Dad Holy Shit and also he’s getting pretty good with a sword

at the same time, thalia is alone in the zeus cabin. everyone has been freaking out bc they all saw the huge bolt of lightning that incinerated a couple hellhounds as they made their grand entrance and What The Fuck Child Of The Big Three???

she’s also further isolated because chiron will take her for private training sessions sometimes, since she is clearly really powerful already and also Hades Himself was trying to kill her (chiron told her the reason was the big three’s pledge not to have kids, and maybe about the great prophecy? if he tells her that then she’s sworn to secrecy)

once grover leaves on another protector assignment, thalia mostly hangs out with luke, and annabeth. luke + annabeth both will try to eat meals with her at the zeus table but annabeth doesn’t want to get in trouble and luke is genuinely making friends in the hermes cabin so thalia will feel bad sometimes and send him back

kronos, seeing this bitter isolated child of the big three’s dreams: it’s free real estate

MEANWHILE

hades is Pissed that thalia survived and zeus got to break their oath And get the glory of a prophecy child

so he sends someone to take bianca (12) and nico (10) out of the lotus hotel and casino a little early.

grover is still their protector, but since the Stirring hasn’t begun in earnest yet and hades is lowkey determined to keep them safe, they make it back to camp half blood with no escort/incident

bianca + nico are put into the hermes cabin, and luke kinda takes them under his wing bc while he’s not bitter he still needs therapy bc this 14 year old has never met a pre-teen he couldn’t try to parent

luke introduces nico and annabeth since they’re the same age and they become really good friends!! she Loves mythomagic and he thinks her dagger is super cool and they’re both just really excited about camp <3

bianca is more reserved and resistant to the whole thing, and she wanders around alone exploring and runs into thalia in the zeus cabin

at this first meeting they get into a bit of a fight bc bianca is still in shock/denial about the gods being real, but thalia at this point has zero patience for this

anyway after that and maybe another scuffle during capture the flag or something they hit it off and become best friends in the way girls can, especially bonding over how they’ve both had to take on raising annabeth and nico basically on their own at the age of 12

~QUEST TIME~

thalia is given a quest for [unspecific reason] and chooses bianca and luke, they go off leaving annabeth and nico frustrated at home

quest hijinks etc, bianca is trying to figure out her parentage + her weird mysterious powers? and thalia is arguing with luke because he’s settling into camp/hero life really well actually but she’s getting progressively angrier with the gods for trying to kill her and also keeps getting dreams from kronos and doesn’t get why he doesn’t seem to remember all of the shit that the gods have put him through

bianca + thalia have las-vegas-style-heart-to-hearts where thalia shares her tragic backstory about her mother and her brother and how hades tried to kill her and even about the great prophecy and how she’s trying on this quest bc of that and her dad but at the same time these dreams are making her suspicious that he might’ve been responsible for her mom’s death.

bianca then shares her own stuff, about how terrified she was being on her own with nico having to protect him but also not remembering most of her childhood and not remembering her parents or how she ended up in the care of this lawyer and just the absolute mindfuckery that her memories/past are

luke is asleep in those scenes i guess lol 🧍‍♂️

anyway eventually they finish their quest in this massive climactic battle where bianca discovers her powers in a huge-showy-”i’m the ghost prince”-way and is formally claimed by hades which thalia sees as this Massive Betrayal obviously and bianca is horrified too because she knows what hades did to thalia but at the same time she’s just so happy to finally understand at least part of her past

thalia just reaches a breaking point though because everyone around her just doesn’t understand her anger and just when she thought she had found another sympathetic person who understood what she was going through she joins hades??? no. no fucking way. kronos reveals that he’s the one who has been sending her dreams, prob by sending some messenger who he possesses or smthing and when he offers thalia the chance to join him? she does (dun dun dun)

main beats of the rest of the series:

thalia and bianca on opposite sides of the war training to be the prophecy child, they come together a Lot and have like melodramatic fight scenes where they talk out their anger and try to get the other to join them bc they don’t want to kill each other

luke is extremely conflicted/betrayed and there’s a titan’s curse moment prob towards the end of the third book where they’re fighting and thalia is trying to get her to go with him but here he actually does go to join her (gasp!!) and is evil for at least one book but his heart’s not in it and he goes back to the good side eventually

by the point of luke’s betrayal, annabeth and nico are growing and developing and old enough to go on quests w bianca and by the last book they’re a main trio of sorts and their hypothetical character development is already making me emotional

there’s just a lot of general sexiness with foils and inner conflicts and bianca doesn’t even want to be the prophecy child but she needs to for the fate of the world and bianca is so angry at thalia bc thalia is a daughter of zeus and could control her powers and is perfect and just meant to be the prophecy kid, not some daughter of hades who they didn’t even have a cabin for before

hm maybe by either the last or second-to-last book thalia + bianca are close to reconciling or at least their interests are aligned for the moment and they read the text of the prophecy together and things go Wild bc they both think “single choice shall end his days” either is about luke or nico and it turns up the gas to their fighting both of them care about both of them and yeah

and then i can’t decide if there’s romantic arcs at all but if there were it would go like this:

just a dash of thaluke where at first it was luke having a one-sided crush but thalia misses him a Lot after she goes to kronos and wonders if it’s that she misses him or if it’s something More until to get him to defect there’s like a melodramatic moment in the fight where thalia kisses him and they go off to be Evil Together but it ends bc luke doesn’t believe in the cause and only joined her in hopes of getting thalia back to his side

once luke leaves/is kicked out thalia realizes that she didn’t love luke she just wanted a family and also in the second half of the series she realizes she’s a lesbian as a parallel to her redemption arc

bianca meanwhile is unconcerned w romance until she has her botl-hoe-moment where within one book she 1. runs into the hunters on a quest and has a thing with zoe nightshade who tries to get her to join plus tells her about that time she met thalia, 2. she goes to calypso’s island and falls in love w her in the moonlight or w/e and has her what-if moment, and 3. when they meet up that book thalia somehow knew abt zoe + calypso and seems almost angrier abt them than the war?? weird bc bianca knows that thalia is Totally Straight right??

my main point is that bianca/thalia is our friends-to-enemies-to-lovers endgame thank you i will take my pulitzer now

#this series is like. if the titan's curse was 5 books long and also specifically catered to 9 year old me #which is very girlboss me <3 #bianca di angelo #thalia grace #thalianca #luke castellan #thaluke #(just a dash. a smidge. for spice.)#annabeth chase #nico di angelo #pjo #keratonin #anon #answered #she speaks

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mooshs-crack-headcanons · 4 years ago

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Hi moosh! Could I have sfw letters APW for dante, vergil, nero, and V? Thank you!

So this is my first piece for devil may cry, I hope it turned out well I'm still ify on it, especially with V's and a part of Vergil but I hope you guys like it anyway!

Dante

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Dante is a pretty chill guy, but he really doesn’t get out that much besides to go do a job, out to get drinks and to gamble (losing most of his last payment from Morrison in the process and getting absolutely screamed at by both you and Lady) at the local bar, and to get a Strawberry Sundae at Fredi’s, most of these activities he loves for you to tag along with him (some partially to make sure he doesn’t get into too much trouble *cough cough* like losing most of his fucking money *cough*) especially hunting if you can hold yourself in a fight, he gets a kick out of watching you kick demon ass and finds it really hot so expect a lot of flirty banter that’s filled with terrible puns and other dorky eye rolling one liners. This lovable fucking dork.

However most of your time spent together is in the office, which you can find the two of you laying on the couch watching the old busted television watching old movies or listening to the old busted jukebox that has been playing the same sixteen songs for the last thirty years (Dante stop abusing your shit) or just telling each other shitty stories the both of you have heard from one another countless of times, but somehow when he tells it again it somehow feels just as enjoyable as the first with somehow a different twist to it and when you tell it he always that charismatic talent that Dante just has this big heart throbbing grin on his face as he listens and it just makes your words sometimes stop that even he has to tell you to keep going, or just cooking together (and by together, I mean you doing 99% of the work because this man is forever banned anywhere near a oven anymore) because yeah sure pizzas 24/7 is fun and all but if there’s one thing (besides watching you kick demon ass) that he loves to watch you do it’s cooking and not only does he get to watch you excitedly dash from one part of the kitchen looking for ingredients and get a little messy along the way, he also gets something to eat out of it too in the end.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Embarrassment to show his absolute adoration for you in public? No way! Dante is all about that PDA, unless you’re uncomfortable with it then he’ll respectfully lay off...but sometimes he finds it really hard when you’re just super cute when talking to the crew about a job, it's just something about that look of thrill in your eye that always grabs his attention. But if you’re down with it, let the lap sitting, quick heated kisses, bad suggestive pick up lines, and questionable touches commence!

Dante is the number one choice for a feel better boost, if you’re feeling unsure and doubtful of your abilities be prepared to see this man recite everything fucking cool, smart, and badass thing he’s ever seen you do, so it’s a given Dante absolutely loves bragging about you to people. As he’s sharing tales of your badassery, there’s a glint of pure love in his eyes as he looks back to you and watches as your doubts begin to slowly fade away to the back of your mind, and of course if this is a recurring issue you might find even the rest of giving you compliments from time to time, even from Vergil (which almost gave you a heart attack from the shock hearing that from the eldest son of Sparda)

Kisses from Dante are never shy, when he wants to show affection to you he’s never shy about it. Kisses from him are always the type that shoots butterflies to your stomach and makes you feel dizzy afterwards, his favorite to pull over you are when you’re in the middle of working on paperwork (his fucking bills) and surprising you with them because always without fail you get drag away from your work and go to cuddle on the couch, bills to be forgotten (and he wonders why his electric shuts off all the time) The crew immediately learns quickly that Dante really doesn’t have any shame, but reactions vary when they stumble upon it with Trish and Morrison are the two not to really give a shit to be bothered by it, Lady, Vergil, and Nero just roll their eyes at it before going back to do their own thing, Nico lets the: “get a room love birds” and other types of teasing lines and whistles fly every chance she gets, Lucia either embarrassed and covering her eyes or scolding the both of you for being that ‘personal’ out in the open like that, and Patty asks really uncomfortable questions. Dante for the most part gets a kick out of all of it!

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

I think it's very clear that he mimics actions he sees in movies (just look at how he fucking uses Cerberus for example) and so lots of what he does romantically is stuff he's seen in romance films he remembers watching with his mother and brother when he was younger or films that when he really has nothing better to do and Patty brings (all with titles he can never pronounce) to the office on a lazy afternoon and that's the reason why his view of romance is so cliche. When asked jokingly about it, he'll give a shrug and answer with the fact that the love between his parents, forbidden lovers, is a cliche trope itself and from the very few memories he has of his mother and father together he definitely remembers how sappy they were together, so sappy that it might've carried over into their kids (Vergil you don't escape this, just you wait)

So that being said, with the heart shaped chocolates, the roses to start every date with, several dates under candle light on the roof of the shop under a full moon, no matter how cliche it may be the confident wide eye grin on his face during them will never fail to make your heart skip a beat.

Vergil

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Vergil of course really likes to take every opportunity to train whenever he can so that he can be sure he's able protect those he cares for, so he really likes when you take the time to spare with him so not only he can stay in top shape for whatever danger that may come in the future but also so that you can do the same that he doesn't feel like it's all up to him to protect you when he is assured you can protect yourself, this keeps his mind from wandering to dark power lusting places.

On free days that there's no jobs in sight and there's not a focus on training, Vergil of course likes to read in his book. Flipping through the pages of his old precious childhood possession he feels himself at ease and even more so if the two of you are laid up together in bed in the privacy of your shared room, your head laid softly on his chest with his hand in your hair subconsciously combing through it as he reads Blake's words aloud to you in a quiet voice as if the words were only meant for you to hear.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Listen, all the Sparda men are romantic in their own way to the core, I like to think it’s in their genes and this is Vergil we’re talking about, this man is an absolute traditional romantic with absolutely no PDA. I mean come on, again this is Vergil we're talking about this is to be expected the son of Sparda prefers to keep his romantic life absolutely private between the two of you. To be honest it takes only the closest people in the two of your lives to realize that the two of you are even together, so basically only those who are at Devil May Cry frequently. The tale tell is that out of everyone you end up being on the end of Vergil's...Vergilness the least bit, sure there are moments but at least you haven't been stabbed by Yamato or had any summoned swords shot at you like everyone in the office has been at least once (although this also applies to Kyrie but I see her never really doing anything that would really bother him) and he also gives to rare non sarcastic compliments, which blows Dante's mind every time it occurs.

Vergil doesn't brag about you, he compliments, and true hearted compliments from Vergil are rare, but when they happen you always know he 100% means it especially if he does it in front of others. This is the only form of PDA he feels comfortable with doing, and usually they're about how you did in fights or a super rare version: that he's proud of you.

Again Vergil believes all romantic acts should be savory in the privacy between each other, so it's obvious that he doesn't like kissing in public. However, if you were to hypothetically I don't know...give him a peck on the cheek or go even more scandalous the lips while he's at phone duty in the office while Dante and the others are around the pool table and sitting area or in Nico's van while waiting to drive off with the crew to whatever next job, his cheeks might turn into a interesting shade of pink.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

It takes patience to be in a relationship with Vergil, in the beginning he'll be closed off and won't share what he's thinking (but it says a lot with how much he does trust and care for you to be in a commitment with you) but as time goes on he'll slowly start to open up more and more as he lets himself accept the human in him to love you, and at this point he'll start to share things that are very close and dear to him.

He has very fond memories of watching old black and white romance films with his mother and Dante, who only would watch them because the moment they would end he would immediately beg him to train with him, but with him falling down to hell and being corrupted since he was only nineteen to him he remembers memories of when he and Dante were kids more clearly than his brother can since to him they don't feel as they happened a long ago so he remembers watching these films from long ago in very great detail. So of course the moment he can find some of these films with the help from a hesitant Nero (still getting used to the whole dad ripping arm off thing and all) to find and order those they could find online. From the very moment he has the old tapes in his hands do they become as precious as you, Yamato, his amulet, and his book (as well as a little bit of Nero but it takes him a while to come to terms with it) so with this being something very emotionally important to him, and after very long pandering about it, he asks you to watch these films with him (he also considered asking Dante but figured since he didn't practically like the these films as children that he wouldn't want to to watch them now, absolutely no idea about the cliched dork he is now because of these types of films) The entire time you find yourself struggling to pay attention to the actual film instead you find yourself drawn to the deep nostalgic look in your lover's eyes as he's glued to the screen. For a while you're not even sure if he's actually watching the black and white picture either with how he eyes seem to be playing out scenes of the past and this is the first time you've ever seen this much emotion on his face at once. You end up holding a tight securing grip on his hand throughout the rest of the film, one normally he wouldn't hold for as long but you find his fingers subconsciously rubbing against yours from time to time. Once the nostalgic movie night ends the two of you don't say much to each other, which Vergil appreciates since how much emotional significance that it had on him and with the feeling that he's glad he got to spend it with you.

Nero

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

He likes killing demons with you, it's in his blood. Just seeing you in action will without fail boost confidence in him and makes him want to show off for you, which ends with him getting hurt and scolded by you many times but he wouldn't have it any other way.

Well, he really finds himself doing a lot doing jobs with Nico on the road as of late so except a lot of quality time together on jobs and in the van. When the two of you aren't out kicking demon ass expect a ton of sitting around in the van watching whatever happens to come in on Nico's very small and very shitty portable tv, this is when you learn your boyfriend has actually a lot of a surprising amount of trivia on shows that hadn't been in production in decades but are shown as frequent reruns on low quality channels that coincidently air in Fortuna's limited broadcast range.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

I feel like during the time around dmc 4, Nero at that point was absolutely super embarrassed with the idea of PDA, not even getting started with his insecurities about his arm, but I feel about now after his experience with dating Kyrie for a few years he gotten use to it a little bit. However that doesn't mean he won't get entirely red faced by teasing comments from Dante or Nico even if he was just looking at you for a few seconds longer than he should've.

Fuck yeah he brags about you to others. You're a badass, and he absolutely loves that. During a fight he'll gladly give you a cocky Nero way of approval by saying that even he should try and catch up before flashing you a smug ass grin before revving up Red Queen and jumping into the next hoard of demons.

Again Nero gets embarrassed easily, however unlike his father he's not totally against it but it depends on whose exactly around. For example if it's Lady or Trish, hell even Morrison he's perfectly comfortable with giving you a kiss hello/goodbye or wrapping his arms around you just for the hell of it because he knows that they're chill and won't make a big deal out of it. But if it's anyone else...he feels not so much about it. Dante and Nico tease the hell out of him for days, Patty asks very uncomfortable person questions, Lucia gets really easily flustered about it, and Vergil and Kyrie for personal reasons would just rather not prefer to do anything around them. But every time you are the one to initiate any sort of affection, he'll immediately rub/scratch at his nose with a very dumb founded flustered look on his face.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Nero is actually a good cook and absolutely loves cooking things for you and that is usually what happens for most dates, no matter how complicated the recipe he just seems to have a natural talent for it. So when it comes not only dates but to holidays as well, it's really funny to see the youngest relative of Sparda cooking away to serve the rest of the company on Christmas day when everyone knows damn well that neither his father or uncle has any clue how to work a kitchen and this is a fact that he holds proudly over his head.

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Well being Vergil's human half, I still say most things still somewhat apply to him but a little bit differently. V's not really the best partner to spar with for starters (the most I see him doing is letting you train with his familiars) but I feel that he still completely understands the reason why Vergil would desperately want that, but he has a little bit more in himself to have faith in you to know you can more than able to handle yourself with your abilities.

Like with Vergil, V absolutely loves to read with you. It puts a nice warm feeling in his chest when the two of you are alone and with you in his arms as he reads to you as you both sit against Shadow and Griffon nesting nicely in your lap, all together like a nice small family.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

V, unlike Vergil, is torn between PDA. Like Vergil, he really does appreciate the privacy of time spent together behind closed doors but also he really does like the feeling of people seeing the two of you together as a couple, it brings out a heavy sense of pride and stroking his ego.

V doesn't feel need to brag, he's proud of you and if you're with him you should know that by now, but if you're in need of some encouragement he always knows what right thing he's proud of you to pick you tight back up again.

Kisses from V are never shy, will he do it often in front of others? Occasionally, but never frequent. When he does though they're always sudden and full of spark, you swear his lips are like an instant kill switch to your brain because once you realize that he's kissed you it's already hit you and most of the time you hear whistles and teases from Griffon (and sometimes Nico if she's around) that bring you back earth to (Name).

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Vergil's nightmares plague him a lot, I mean he's literally contracted to them. So expect a lot of countless of nights of him waking up in cold sweat and doing his best to keep his sobs down as the image of Nelo Angelo is burnt into his mind. He would rather not talk about it, but he really does appreciate feeling you holding him through the after shocks. Tracing his tattoos or gently combing your fingers through his hair will slowly calm him down enough to at least lay back down with you and hesitantly fall back asleep knowing you're there to fight off the plagues of his mind at a moments notice.

#devil may cry #devil may cry x reader #dante x reader #vergil x reader #nero x reader #v x reader #dante sparda #vergil sparda #nero sparda #v dmc #mine

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