#also like im just not a writer like i only write when idk how to do i as art so lmao
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hi!! i know u talk a lot about aromanticism a lot on here, but i don’t think i’ve ever seen u talk about aromantic anthy. would u mind discussing/elaborating on it or linking to a post where u do because i’m very curious!!
i got a similar ask half a year ago or something ridiculous like that on my main blog, but i’d like to really do justice to my url right now and explain it in more concrete terms.
i will say, it’s important to bear in mind that this reading of anthy’s character is very much informed by my own experiences, and a lot of those experiences are ones im not keen to talk in depth about. but you know. let’s make some nebulous gestures towards ideas of being traumatised, being autistic, struggling to meaningfully connect with others and honestly not really wanting to do such because of how they treat you.
like ive previously said, an aromantic perspective on the world would, i think, really benefit anthy. when youve lived your whole life experiencing violence at the hands of these patriarchal structures, of which romance is absolutely one, it’s kinda like. damn. im uncomfortable buying into those ideas.
anthy also has this lovely line in ep 19 where she says to utena ‘romance either happens or it doesn’t’ and it’s just sooooooo. so very interesting to me, actually, that anthy would say something so black and white about ‘romance’, a topic that anthy knows better than a lot of rgu characters is hopelessly confused and arbitrary and often enabling violence. and utena (fellow aromantic gaybo) says 'yeah, i know, but...'. these simplifications, these elisions. what is and isn't articulated. but what? maybe things are much more complicated than we'd like to think.
anyway enough of that tangent. one thing i as a trans and aromantic person always return to when discussing trans and aromantic readings of characters/texts more broadly is that there's no singular piece of evidence that can really cement these readings as Undeniable. it's like. okay. there's a critique of romance as a patriarchal structure in revolutionary girl utena. there's an ambiguity about anthy's feelings towards characters like utena, where there is clearly a queer connection but it takes shape in unconventional and complex ways. me, i'm aromantic, i see all of these pieces and i go oh well that's because she's an aromantic lesbian. you know, there's plenty of little moments i can evidence but those moments can be used to argue for an alloromantic lesbian anthy too. romance is a very arbitrary thing and i think everyone should take their own approach to it unapologetically. of course, mine is that it's hellish and i want nothing to do with it, but im just one guy. and im okay with that. i feel strongly about this reading and it is personal, and id be dishonest to say otherwise, but i do also find that it's well-evidenced in the text. as one of my lecturers once said, don't worry about authorial intent, it isn't real <3
#and authorial intent is NOT real i really cant emphasise that one enough#like it's fun to engage with the stuff a writer/director/whoever thinks about their art#and it can be very useful#but it's not definitive. that's not the last word on the topic#like did be papas consciously write any rgu character as aromantic? idk probably not#but i find such powerful aromantic narratives and themes coming through in this show#in how it chooses to examine relationships and power dynamics and the pervasive nature of romance as a concept#how it is so easily unequal how it is DESIGNED to be unequal how it offers chivalry and safety to mitigate harm#which it directly enables. makes easier#and that doesnt mean that aromanticism is the only solution bc you know. some ppl do feel romantic attraction#but it's like ok let's rethink 'romance'. let's combat amatonormativity let's challenge the relationship hierarchy that privileges#families and romantic partners in such a dangerous dangerous way#and i see all of that in this show and it resonates so deeply with my experiences many of which pertain to aromanticism#and you know. this show made me accept that im aromantic. so i think that speaks to how strongly these themes come through#but i digress. i find it hard to talk about this stuff bc its deeply personal and quite arbitrary#and also every time i do someone sends me anon hate about how i hate gay people. which is so cool btw please keep doing that#i didnt realise that loving being gay and loving gay people and loving when gay people love each other made me homophobic /s#just to clarify for the second time that is all sarcasm im gay and aromantic and i dont have time for arophobia here#anywayyyyy#im aware of all the asks ppl have sent me. im working on it i prommy <3#dais.txt#dais talks aspec
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Also in the replies of the Steph concept art on twitter announcing she was gonna be in a new project at DC (posted by Travis Mercer), there were at least 3 comments saying "will Tim be there?" I don't care how hard you ship timsteph I'm exploding you with my eyeballs if you do that on my girls post again
#ramblings of a lunatic#taking a step back to acknowledge that my stanning may be getting overzealous#but then again I'm not in ppls quotes or replies I'm vagueing on an entirely different website with no relevant tags. it could be worse#anyway I know tims had it rough these past couple of months ever since zdarsky shifted focus of the batman title to have less tim#but it still feels. idk. just a wee bit uninspired to act like steph can't go two steps without tim being behind her#im ngl i like timsteph when they're cute but timsteph twitter has been. pissing me off a tad lately#the refusal to acknowledge the sexism in dixons robin run and how it impacts stephs writing and their relationships writing#the refusal to acknowledge tims occasional condescension and hypocrisy when it comes to stephs vigilantism#seemingly only wanting her to be spoiler when he wants her around and telling her to give it up most of the time#also the constant disrespect of stephs batgirl era on there weirdly enough?#I've harped on about this on main and in drafts but despite it's flaws it's a good turn for stephs character#she's the focus she gets development (an upward trajectory! which had previously been unheard of for her! bc she did have flaws as spoiler-#-its just that both writers and characters alike seemed to arbitrarily decide she didn't have the capacity to grow past them! but she did!)#hell i saw a BIZARRE take today i just have to bitch about#which was them saying that Batgirl was a ''heteronormative mask'' steph put on#with spoiler being her more authentic self (and this being paralleled to gender expression with stephs isolation from the batfam as spoiler-#-showing how she ''wasnt like them'')#which. I'm not denying you the view that spoiler has a certain genderific swag to her but the needless dragging of her batgirl persona#steph got treated badly as spoiler bc she was A Girl. it's genuinely that simple dixon felt batman and robin would never stand for a girl-#-running around doing the things they did and would need to chivalrously stop her. he's gone on record saying this#she's constantly getting belittled by mostly men (cass also dismisses her but it feels distinctly less gendered)#and in the end it's barbara who learns to give steph a second chance despite her mistakes and they have a positive relationship#something ppl are quick to dismiss as being in and of itself sexist bc they're pairing the two girls off together#as if batgirl isn't a legacy and as if babs and steph don't have parallels in their resilience and refusal to accept when ppl tell them no#for better and for worse!!#like. idk how you took the strongest feminist element in that comic (bc there are elements of sexism here and there! 2009 n all)#and somehow turn it into ''heteronormativity'' YOU PPL ARE JUST SAYING WORDS AT THIS POINT!!!#anyway. someone take away my internet access
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Lie Awake
A TMNT 2012 Casey and Raph ficlet [AO3]
word count: 1,191
just a small drabble focusing on Casey and his view of their relationship. I didn't write this as a ship fic, but I do ship them so you can interpret it as platonic or romantic
Casey hates people seeing him as weak. He wears every cut, bruise and mark like a medal, a badge of honour for a hockey game well played or a fight well fought. He hates when neighbours or the school populace look at him with pity in their eyes and sympathy coating their words like sponge covering a toddlers playroom or bubble wrap suffocating a porcelain doll.
So what if he doesn't have a mom anymore? Who cares about his deadbeat dad? Casey is keeping his promise and at almost 17 is protecting and looking after his sister, the best player on a hockey team within the region and a vigilante the purple dragons will write legends about. He is strong and brave. He bounces back from anything with a witty comment and a toothy grin. Missing incisors be damned.
So why is this different? Strong, calloused, leathery hands gently graze over fragile skin. Instead of the usual burn of anger such caution would ignite, Casey Jones feels a sense of calm and his breath almost gets caught in his throat. Almost. Arms he has seen tear robots to shreds, dislocate joints from vigilantes, break monstrous jaws are now delicately tracing over his pale soft surface, well- it should be pale but the current complection is primarily a mixture of injuries, marks and dirt. Purple, blue, green, yellow, pinks, reds- any colour besides a natural skin tone coats his body like a vandalised back alley wall.
The hand stops moving and instead a comforting weight is placed across Casey's chest and torso. The weight he has seen choke and crush wrong-dooers, crack brick walls and dent spaceship walls now comfortably rests along his side like a weighted blanket, the arm across his middle.
Awareness of his current location comes back. Why's the ceiling looking blurry suddenly? Casey realises his eyes are starting to water. These can't be tears of frustration though? Maybe these are not new tears but the remnants of the storm that leaked from those eyes earlier this evening, in the privacy of these four walls as his own inner walls crumbled in Front of his current companion. No mask or face paint or armour, no facade of cokyness and happiness. His emotions are raw and his mind is still screaming at him, maybe that's why he hadn't noticed the burning eyes. These tears can't be new. Definitely not! He's happy and safe now, why would they be? He is brought from his thoughts as a hard smooth surface buts the bottom of his jaw, sending a short vibration of pain through his skull.
"'Ya sure this is alright?" A gruff voice nervously whispers.
"Yeah, 's fine" he mumbles back before finally looking down at the friend pressed against him. His own voice sounds raspy and sore. Perfect.
Raph has put his head back down on the pillow, his beak fitting like a jigsaw puzzle in the gap above Casey's shoulder. The bolt he'd felt had been from Ralph bucking his head to hit his jaw with the top curve of his beak. It hurt a little but he isn't fragile. Raph knows that. All he can feel now is that comforting weight on his side. He's focusing on it. Raph certainly wasn't scared to touch him. Why else would he hit him to gain his attention?
Soft cold breath gently brushes against Casey's neck in delicate puffs.
"I can sleep on the floor y'know?" tiredly drifts out of the terrapin creatures mouth "This bed ain't exactly made for two"
"Nah it's your room, I'm the intruder"
"Hmm" Raph lazily hums and slightly squeezes his ribs, getting comfortable in his squashed position on the edge of the bed "a warm one".
Casey sits there in silence for a bit, his friend drifting off to sleep. The overwhelming smell of sweat and blood and the sewers clogging his nose. Raphael is the only person Casey talks to about his home life, the only one he talks about his troubles too. He knows Raph instils that same comfort and confidence in him as he tells the lanky teen his own insecurities and secrets.
Tender moments like these however? They usually proceed fights. Fights they start coated in darkness or just heated spars between friends who are shouting and blowing off steam. They'd collapse with exhaustion on some random rooftop and through jagged breaths become vulnerable, no eye contact, maybe a squeeze of the hand or a punch in the side to let the other one know they're there. Kind, soft and comforting pain. Like the kind you get from laughing too hard or playing a game. It is strange to think they are now squashed and laid across each other, even if the reptile insists the body warmth was an exciting upgrade to his sleeping arrangement.
Casey was kicked out tonight after a particularly bad fight at home, he limped his way to his usual meeting spot and a few texts later Raph was on his way. He's going to be staying here with his friend, just tonight... he'll go home tomorrow. No one else in the sewer family needs to know why, Raph will come up with a lame excuse to torment him with. The thought makes him smile a little. Raph is the epitome of masculinity. Testosterone coats his existence like a second shell. He's violent and abrasive and yet here he is, not throwing punches, but still being gentle. His body weight is not entirely on top of the teen, but it is there along his right side nonetheless. He wasn't repulsed by Casey and he hadn't tried sugar coating anything all night. When he 'picked him up' he'd joked at Casey's expense and made the boy laugh. Casey wasn't too sure how Raph managed to create such a strong positive moment up on that rooftop in those circumstances. But none of the Hamato clan followed logic by nature so maybe that is not so surprising.
Casey isn't sure why this isn't affecting him the way it usually does. He feels calm and safe, even stripped down to his boxers and pressed into an old smelly matrice and cold metal wall.
Maybe it's because he keeps reminding himself that Raph doesn't see the squishy, thin human as delicate. He knows the turtle enough to know he considers Casey a great enough fighter to stand amongst his brothers, without any formal training or skill.
Maybe that's why this tender moment is nice? Raph isn't scared Casey will break, he wouldn't touch him if he thought he'd be hurt. Raph wouldn't joke with him and invite him here like this. The ninja had seen the boy break earlier, as he broke down and sobbed on the bed when they first arrived at the decorated subway car. The weight against him now is heavy, not crushing. It's grounding him.
Why is being treated tenderly so nice right now? Maybe that's the kind of privilege having a best friend creates? He doesn't remember his childhood friend creating such a welcoming environment before though.
Casey hates people seeing him as weak. Raph doesn't, even now.
#TMNT#tmnt 2012#casey jones#raphael hamato#casey jones 2012#raph 2012#seagull scribes#seagull squawks#its weird posting a fic when i havent like done art to post and can just hide it in the comments#also its been over a year since i shared any writing#you can probably tell by everything im not a writer#2012 rasey#so like i do ship rasey and i am only posting this cause they have no conent and there is deffo a fellow need out there also starving#but i didnt write this as a ship fic its meant to be platonic and i was just focusing a lot on a lot of my old bad teenage experiences#and how my friends and found family helped me and stuff but if you wanna be like lmao love does that im cool with that#totally open to you if you have a secret third interpretation#idk what else to say i have so many unfinished incomprehensible drafts of these for every fandom ive been in but yeah posting this one#oh because its kinda pulling references from my own experiences i put some references in here to my friends they nay recognise#but i also doubt they'd read it id be shocked if this got more than lets sayyyy 11 notes ahaha#ill have to learn to draw humans or continue learning i should say#i wanna deaw these dudes more#also if you see mistakes let me know i am so so bad and typing and English and writing in general
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her: they're probably thinking abt other women
me: at the end of episode 52 of nv when everyone's saying goodbye, helios and drago talk abt hopefully the next time they meet they'll still be friends and be on the same side. when spectra shows up again in ms he tells them that yes they're still friends and on the same side, however when he comes back the brawlers are falling apart and dan has a link to magmel and is also generally being a Huge Jerk™, which might be an understatement. bringing back spectra during this arc was a brilliant idea bc other than being the writers' clear favourite, nv already set up parallels between dan and spectra and the contrast between how dan's acting and how even spectra of all people is actually disturbed and concerned by it shows how bad the situation has actually gotten.
#sometimes bakugan makes interesting writing decisions but bringing spectra back during ms? absolutely brilliant#like fanservice and obviously being the writers' favourite def played a part dont get me wrong#but its just so good it makes me feral#i decided itd be fun to watch the last few episodes of new vestroia and then move onto spectra's episodes in ms#and boy it was such a good fucking idea#i do find it funny how spectra keeps coming and going though like#the writers made him too op so he cant show up every episode lest the season end like 4 episodes after hes brought back#i genuinely dont think bringing back any other characters would have made as much of an impact#i love alice and ace but bringing back either of them as the darkus brawler wouldn't work as well#bc shun and marucho fill the roles that they would fill#ren maybe but like. he has far more to do with marucho compared to dan#spectra however is a former villain who did a lot of fucked up things and one of dan's strongest rivals#OH ID ALSO LIKE TO MENTION that after the brawl were spectra shows up. spectra immediately asks if dan is okay after that whole thing#it was only after dan plays it off and pretends its fine does he seem actually disappointed and leaves#idk i thought that was interesting#god bless when i get started i am incapable of shutting up i am. SO sorry#im just insane and having an autism moment dont mind me
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thank GODDD the doctor is taking time to work on himself maybe now he can stop ruining womens lives .
#mildly joke but im so excited those specials were so fun...#we watched all the 14th dr specials bc Major donna fan ohh my god they were fun i liked them....#i worry im like. being unfair somehow. but i loved like..some of the things with 13 i just likee. the writing it was..off to me... sigh. i#rly wish her seasons had better writers i suppose. BUT. im excited bc my mom told me 15s run is super good so far#i cant believe im almost caught up wndr who. a crazy world i live in. i suppose next me and my mom will have to huddle around an old timey#radio like max n ruby to listen to the audio dramas#and then wencan read bedtime stories to eachother or something#Or of course i could just track down the old series. KDNFJFN. but the computer always its a commodity...#but ya. those were funn i rly liked the like. 2 of them had a bit of body horror like. mild babys first body horror. but i liked it. and#they were funnyyy god i missed donna so bad the show is SO funny with her there. the chemistry w her and 10nis just chefs kiss. loves it#i feel bad bc i liked the like. Suggested personalities of the last companions but they felt kind of lackluster in practice ? like..it felt#like we were told how they were but in practice they kind of just. were there. and then would react to the dr. and then were judt there#idk... i wish they had been more like. fleshed out one supposes#it rly to me feels like they spent 13s seasons kind of just farting around and then covid hit and they were like Fuck now we have to like.#avtually write a plot#flux was like. i think you can do a storyline w like. a bunch of different plotlines that all ties up but it was confusing#😭😭 it ws like. ig rhe most engaged i was w/ 13 but thats just bc stuff was being thrown at me constantly...#but ya. its rly nice to see donna again after having a bunch of companions who just didnt feel like they got their time to shine. in my eyes#bc donna feels so well written and real and like. believable to me. like it feels like shes an active member instead of like. just standing#around and then having her alloted 4 minute emotional conversation before jumping back into action. yk#also i literally said as soon as the bigeneration happens Oh rhis is good 14 can judt go be a weird uncle. ajd then he literally did#so funny tho that rose and donna get their own tennant doctors and then my best friend martha is just chopped liver ig.#good for her tho. that man needs to stay away from her (joke)#but ya. YAY. intrigued by nailpolish woman its also fun bc weve gotten to the point where my mom has only watched the episodes once#so she knows less and its more fresh for her#which is rly fun. im a little worried about umm. when were fully caught up#bc i believe my mom and dad watch the eps together#and like. yk. much love to my dad but like. idk me and my mom have a specific sort of banter when we watch and like. he sits in sometimes#and i tend to just go silent 😭😭😭#its like. not a conscious thing i just. yk. i have trouble being Relaxed when theyre in the same room together
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i think i ran out of tags
copy pasting this from tag format i'm sorry this is a mess !!! shgdfvhsa
#i looove all the details of intimacy!!! knowing his fave movies and the books on his shelf. finding out his favourite food.
#how he rubs lotion onto your hands :(( & it ties in with his comment earlier :(( and just !! How all the care feels like it shouldn’t belong with the two of your together but it does and it’s calming and comforting and :(( the healing!! your hands no longer cracking. what that means!!
#HE HOLDS UR HAND FOR THE SAKE OF HOLDING IT :((
#him choosing the colour of your eyes too :(( sdjhbfsj i looove the silent care they have for eachother. how not asking feels like that. how they protect eachother :(( im so sad 'i should have died that day i would have been more useful as legend' UUGH SO GOOD
#how he separates himself from it like a god oh thats so good that entire scene aches oh my god???? SO GOOD
#i love that beach scene i love the dialogue in this entire thing its just so raw and tender and SO MUCH in the unsaid
#the cogs in my brain are always turning when i read your stuff op and i love how there are a lot of things left to interpretation idk i have NO IDEA if how i'm reading it is correct but i love it bc it allows me to dig deep and try to figure that out!!
"you're so pretty, sometimes it makes me miserable" GODDDD how can he say that oh my GOD and and and how he tells you he'll do all the things you want to :(( 'i don't want my pieces i want yours' :(((
WAAAAH i love this so much. THAT ENDING!! GOSH. the way they see eachother :(( IM SAWBING this was so good thank you so much op, you're fantastic amazing wonderful everything!!!! as always!!!!!
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ariadne's thread (3,839 words) Rating : Mature Gojo Satoru/Reader Tags : Fix-It, Jujutsu Kaisen Manga Spoilers, Major Manga Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, Are You Gojo Satoru Because You're the Strongest, Or Are You the Strongest Because You're Gojo Satoru, Reader Has a Cursed Technique (Jujutsu Kaisen), Reader is JADED, Clingy Gojo Satoru, Mythology as a Motif, Vanilla Sex
Summary: He loses himself. He finds you, instead.
Read on AO3
#oh my god one of my fave gojo writers ever dhfbsad so good#pls read this#jjk#satoru#i loooove the read on gojo always; how op writes him with so much depth and character and just IT'S ALWAYS SO GOOD#everything feels so painfully accurate like gojo believing religion is more fallacy than faith. that opening paragraph:#i'm not a fan of ghost stories / too bad he is one <- UUUUGH I LOVE THAT#i also absolutely love the creativity put into the cursed technique of the reader it's so cool#there's also always this air abt op's fics that feel simultaneously comforting yet unsettling IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT it's like warm black#gojo showing up so persistently on reader's door is SUCH a him thing to do hsdfb + the dialogue?? AMAZING SBDFJ it's so in character#he's so insufferable i want to strangle him AHJSFB#i loooove the exploration of his cursed energy; how it trembles shifting in and out of reality sbdfjs#and that bit. 'i only have half a soul' / 'maybe i lost it a long time ago' HOW HE SAYS IT WITH A SHRUG wow. i love that.#gojo having a strange respect for time too. i love that little detail; and generosity being a habit left from his boy-prince upbringing#i love love love the way you write op because you're able to write in so many details about a character so intimately!!! but they all#contribute to the bigger picture; they all speak of history and how it plays into who they are now idkidk it's just. such a way with words#i think gojo withholds a lot of things and the more he talks about something the less it matters to him.#i love descriptions in this; how the healing sessions parallel to how he's feeling idkidkidk!!! i can't even describe it properly#GOJO SATORU PAIN IN MY ASS DAMN RIGHTBSDBFJA I LOVE THAT#omg. and just. gojo being his petty ass not contacting you for three weeks sdshj there is SOOOO much intensity within him GOD#everything about this is so so so interesting bc of the condition/state he was left in after the fight#and the consequences of that + when it gets too much it's soooo. wow. op your brain is >>>>#'You realize you’re not just a comfort for Gojo. You’ve been keeping him alive.' and the scene after oh my god#:(( take me with you next time :(( only if you pay me overtime :(( CLENCHING MY HEART RN#and he keeps you with him after. ooh my god. i loove that :( how the day just drags on and you never leave and it just repeats#op you are soooo good at writing scenes like this and i adore it so so much :(( the words and sentences are simple but they hit so much#i love that being with him kinda just happens and you grow comfortable to it and you have to touch him a lot bc of ur CT but#that becomes something natural too :(( and when hE RECIPROCATES AND EVERYTHING STARST ESCALATING OOOHH I AM#and that kiss omfghsbdg HE'S INSUFFERABLE I STG im gonna strangle him#what is the point of talent without enjoyment? <- wow
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he does it so well
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summary ⎯ hot things they do.
includes ⎯ dan heng, gepard, blade, sampo, & jing yuan.
tana's words ⎯ struggling with writing requests rn so i wrote something short to clear writer's block. im sorry guys i'll get to them soon i promise 😭
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dan heng
⎯ waits for you before turning the page on a book. he notices that you are reading along with him and waits for you to signal that you're ready before carrying on.
⎯ private > public. he will brush your hand in public but he will be all over you in private. instead of only brushing your hand, dan heng will be brushing up on you. more touchy in private than in public.
⎯ pushes the hair out of your face when it's getting in your way. but he does it in a more sensual way. his fingers graze your lips as he agonizingly drags his hand through your hair.
⎯ long day? melts into your body at night. runs his hands up and down your arms as a way to relieve stress?? leans his head into your neck and sighs so dreamily??? like hello?? lips grazing your neck???
⎯ hot morning voice. raspy and rough. also kind of scratchy. when he tells you, "five more minutes," how could you say no to THAT voice? he knows of this effect and makes sure to use it to his full advantage
⎯ very observant. knows everything you like; knows your routines; knows you. he's the first to compliment you if you got a haircut or new outfit/nails/whatever. it always make you blush bc how is he always the first one to figure these things out?!?@#$%
⎯ gets jealous a little too easily. doesn't do anything verbal about it. opts for being a little more touchy than usual. he thinks it's embarrassing and he wants to hide his face into his pillow when you tease him about it.
⎯ lip biter. not when y'all are kissing, but when he tries to hide his smile or his laugh he bites his lip. you find it so cute and you just want to grab him and just connect your lips with his.
⎯ nerd. hot sexy nerd. he'll tell you about animals and mitosis and python and he's just so intelligent. helps you with problem solving things (probably puzzles idk) and he stands/leans over you with his breath dancing on the back of your neck.
⎯ jawline kisser. if he wants something from you he gives chaste kisses to your jawline. he does that when he's bored too ig. very big on jaw kisses and secretly loves when you flush because of them.
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gepard
⎯ blushes when you compliment him. he looks so adorable you just wanna pinch his cheeks and smother him. he gets even more embarrassed
⎯ big domestic guy. ntm on casual stuff or situationships. if he wants you, he'll let you know (even if he's blushing his way through it).
⎯ he is not shy. in the beginning he might be a little shy, but later on the relationship he'll get bolder. chaste kisses on the lips becomes long make-out sessions on his bed after a rather tiring day on the front lines. and if he hasn't seen you in a while... i will let you guys interpret.
⎯ leans down to listen to you. he's literally gigantic and when he LEANS DOWN just to hear what you say... and it's so innocent too but the way you look up at him doesn't make it so innocent anymore...
⎯ pins you to the wall on accident. may or may not be inspired by teenage dream. anyway, he does a lot of hot things on accident and doesn't even realize it. so you are trying not to explode while gepard is enjoying his merry day while caging you underneath him.
⎯ acts like a knight since u always make jokes that he's your "knight in shining armor." so dedicated that he kisses your knuckles out of nowhere and it makes you want to FAINT. like you could be reading and (out of nowhere) he takes your hand away from your book and kisses ur knuckles. AND HE HOLDS EYE CONTACT WHILE DOING IT.
⎯ flirty without knowing it. says something cute and flirty but doesn't realize it until you say something. and he says it so calmly too; like drops it into a convo
⎯ runs a hand through your hair before you two sleep. he just wants to keep you close and he just wants to feel you because he never gets to come home often.
⎯ ROLLS UP. HIS SLEEVES. TO HIS FOREARMS. he does this when he's particularly stressed. like come here i can show you a way to destress (i'm so sorry).
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blade
⎯ he's only shirtless when YOU are around. he trusts you enough to show all of himself around you. you are reliable and trustworthy enough to be able to know the entirety of him: his body, his mind, his past, etc.
⎯ intensely loyal to you. like if he had to choose between the world and you he would obviously choose you. would do anything for you, would buy anything for you, would steal anything for you: you guys get the gist.
⎯ he's so loving only towards you. silver wolf and kafka like to tease him for it (especially silver wolf... bc how can he play a game with you and not her). he does little things for you, like picking lint off of your outfit or pulling your hair back when you're eating something. or pulling your hair back when you're doing something...
⎯ LOVES when you wear his clothing. his shirt his jacket ANYTHING. whatever it is, he will be going crazy for it. has a thing for when you wear his shirts; you just look so good and you're wearing something that's HIS. not anyone else's; HIS SHIRT.
⎯ has a little possessive streak. it's not a weird and overprotective possessive thing tho. more so, "no silver wolf you are not going to force them to play games with you." maybe it's more overprotective than possessive, but secretly he wants you all to himself and he does NOT want to share.
⎯ speaking of being overprotective, he is also just regular protective. he walks on the side near the road so you don't have to. he grabs your arm to pull you away from something dangerous. he shields you so he'll get hit before you. yk, cute stuff like that. your safety is his priority, no matter what.
⎯ he is the type to be like, "who did this to you??" and he WILL be hunting that person down. but not without urgently caring for you first.
⎯ his touch is so filled with emotion, genuineness, earnestness, and sincere. i hc that blade doesn't have much relationship experience and he isn't very wordy, so when he hugs you or touches you, all of his emotions are poured into his hands/fingers/etc. all of what he feels for you (which is very much) is shown in his physical touch.
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sampo
⎯ MANSPREADS. i said it. HE IS A MANSPREADER. elbows resting on top of his knees as he says something super coy or flirty towards you, and sometimes you even have to PHYSICALLY avert your eyes away.
⎯ a tease. if you lean in for a kiss, he'll lean backwards. if he's missing you, his fingertips will dance along the bare skin of your sides, and then he'll pull away to make you want him as much as he wants you. he is so INFURIATING.
⎯ if he flusters you and you blush n try to cover your face with something (literally anything), he'll grab whatever you're holding so he could see your face. to him, you look the prettiest when you're smiley and flustered, such as in those situations.
⎯ if you're going on a long tangent about something, he'll kiss you on your lips randomly. he doesn't mind your rambling, he thinks it's adorable, which is why he does it. it always leaves you with your jaw dropped before you could continue what you were saying.
⎯ the type to lock himself in a closet with you but on accident. you guys don't know how you two even got into that situation, but sampo is with you, so he couldn't be happier. big quality time guy.
⎯ brings you little trinkets or gifts based on his "business" adventures. whenever he sees something, he gets it for you. his mind is usually racing about you anyway, so he can't help himself when he develops a spending problem because of you
⎯ sings with you to songs. you could be singing in the shower and then you hear this agitating, grating voice. he's a terrible singer, but he'll do anything as long as you're there with him, so he sings with you anyway.
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jing yuan
⎯ wakes up and the first thing he does is admire you. he studies every single one of your facial features, acting as if he's never seen them before when he wakes up to your face every day. he finds beauty all around you: in your sleeping face, on the bridge of your nose, the pout of your lips when you're asleep. he just loves all of you.
⎯ a flirt and PROUD. he's bold with his quips. not afraid of initiating affection in public but he prefers private which i think is much sexier.
⎯ neck kisser. heavy on neck kisses (especially in the morning). practically an entire body kisser tbh. he can't get enough of you, and in a world where loneliness strives (immortality), he's grateful that he has you for the time being.
⎯ grabs your chin and tilts your head up if he wants you. he doesn't do it forcefully, more like a gentle smush. he locks eyes with you and omfg it makes your heart beat sm. like why are you looking at me LIKE THAT. so sensually or whateva....
⎯ urges you to come closer to him so he can whisper something in your ear. when do you come closer to him, he pulls you by the waist and gets super close to your ear. like lips brushing your ear. and he blows a raspberry in it. so stupid but too lovable.
⎯ lies down in your lap if you two are lounging together. since he's so busy, he doesn't get to lounge around often, so he likes to be as close to you as possible.
⎯ if he wants to kiss you, you will know. not because he'll tell you. but because of the specific LOOK he gives you. his eyes are narrowed under the spell of seduction, focusing only on your lips. his mouth is slightly parted like he is ready to kiss you, and the way he tilts his head down...
⎯ patient for you. will wait for you even when he is dying to feel you once again. he has to deal with yanqing so he holds a lot of patience. but he won't rush you with anything, lets you move at your own pace, and gives you help if needed. overall sweet guy.
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i hope this motivates me into finishing my requests
#tana writes (∗´ ᨔ `∗)#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#hsr#hsr x reader#dan heng x reader#dan heng x you#gepard x reader#gepard x you#blade x reader#blade x you#hsr blade#gepard landau x reader#sampo x reader#sampo koski#sampo x you#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x you
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if all else fails, i was myself
bakugou x reader ✾ 4.6k
info! no smut sorry gang ✾ tw! trust issues that manifest as issues w physical intimacy/contact, dubcon in its vaguest definition (NOT bkg & reader) ✾ notes! ive been in perpetual writers block for months. is this trite idk. i miss my baby but anytime i write for him im like oops this is gonna be 60k words!!! so here is. a drabble lmao. also big lmao moment this is titled after count me out by kendrick lamar ldskfjdlkjf which was on repeat while writing so uh sorry mr. lamar abt the mha fanfic
katsuki has always known that part of him is wrong.
he’s never liked being touched. every kiss he’s experienced has made him tense as an elevator cable poised to snap. any attempt to go further than that has made him a little ill, made his gut feel like a stack of loose papers being torn to shreds, slow and loud.
it doesn’t help that he’s only ever had three kisses in his life: eijirou at a new year’s party (too many teeth), eijirou again at another new year’s party nearly a decade later (too much tongue), and then his fourth date with kyoka (when he tried to convince himself he just had to push through the discomfort to become normal).
things went further than that. it was a mistake. they both knew it right after it happened—kyoka first, and then katsuki after his head stopped pounding with what if i'm doing this wrong what if she's pitying me for fucking this up what if i don't know how to touch another person correctly what if i was supposed to learn at some point and i missed it how could i fucking miss it will it always be like this because i can't do this again i can't i don't—
“kat," she said after. she looked at him with something only a few degrees removed from pity, and poorly removed at that.
he attempted a halting non-apology. he attempted a real apology. failed at both.
"it's okay, you know," she said. "to not like it."
he scoffed even though he wasn’t entirely clear on what she meant by it, because there was so much he didn’t like. “i like it just fine.”
“if that was liking it, I’m honestly worried about your capacity for enjoying life in general.” it wasn’t a joke. her bluntness was something that'd made katsuki think he could push his boundaries with her. all of her thoughts were laid out plain for him to read, an open-source journal. “i'm just saying you don't have to like it. and you don’t have to force yourself to do things you don’t want to do. don't fuck yourself over for someone else's happiness.”
kyoka still texts him often, checks in, invites him to drinks with their friends. she’s kind. she’s normal. she doesn’t have this weird, shredded thing inside her that makes her balk at the idea of someone’s hand on her skin. that makes her think she's doing something wrong, even if she's not the one that initiated the touch.
when you started your job at the front desk of katsuki’s agency, he never thought that he'd be here, wishing above everything that he could just be normal. just for one fucking day, so he could laugh at your shitty jokes and maybe brush his knuckles across the back of your hand in passing and take you on a date where he could kiss you in his car after driving you home and the thought wouldn’t make his skin crawl, wouldn't tear up his insides to pulp.
because he fucked everything up. he's standing in his empty office where you'd been spending time with him and he fucked it up and hurt you and he's not sure how to unfuck it.
the thing is, he could grin and bear it. he could deal with the odd thing inside him that hates the contact and white-knuckle it through every kiss, every caress. but he’s never been a great actor. he wouldn’t be able to hide that from you.
(kyoka told him, years later, that it’s not that the sex itself wasn’t fine—what made it nearly unbearable for her was the fact that she could tell, only after it was too late, that being physically vulnerable with her pained him far more than he was willing to reveal.)
no one wants to feel like the person they’re with is grinning and bearing it. that they’re white-knuckling it through. katsuki knows this. he knows he’s basically a fucking virgin all but in title at thirty and that he’s got the personality of a dried-out fig you find in your fridge weeks after its last edible moments. he doesn't have much to offer.
but he walked into work one day and nodded at you, curt, a grimace on his face—and you smiled at him so kindly that his stomach twisted.
with you, it wasn't the feeling of something being torn apart. it was different, lighter. leaves wrenched into the sky by a strong breeze. still a kind of tearing, but different—less destructive.
he was wearing a deep carmine sweater his mom sent him in one of her bi-monthly care packages (as if he’s not an adult, and a pro-hero on top of that), and you said, “that’s such a nice color on you. is it new?”
there was that breeze inside his chest, strong, pulling at his bones. “yeah,” he grunted. then slowly, as if remembering how: “thanks.”
it was the attention, he thought at first, that piqued his interest. he wasn't used to it. people always watched him from afar, and he had fans online that were borderline obsessive, but people didn’t approach him. they didn’t say that’s such a nice color on you. they didn’t smile the way you smile.
he’s always had a shallow streak. it’s not like he doesn’t know this. it’s become a little muted over time, a little discouraged by the visible scarring on his face and body from his time in the field, but it’s never fully been eradicated. so it was simple, he thought. you paid him attention and stroked his ego, and he preened like a self-obsessed bird of paradise.
and then you started making these little origami whale sharks.
fucking stupid. it bothered him an annoying amount. you had a bunch at your desk, all different colors and sizes, some taped to your desktop monitor, some hung up with little pieces of string under the desk's storage overhang. you drew dots on the back of each one, a distinct spotted pattern that was unique for each shark. and you made them for everyone but him. eijirou bought you a pack of high quality origami paper and you made him his own fucking school, all with little faces, winking or surprised or angry, their wide paper mouths gaping and empty, the lines of their bodies pressed careful and sure.
he hated it. it was annoying and a waste of company time and he usually didn’t ever use dumb corporate slogans like “a waste of company time” but you were really pushing his fucking limits.
it was definitely just the attention he liked, he told himself, because surely someone doing something as dumb as this would annoy him to no fucking end if he spoke to them.
and then he spoke to you and he was wrong.
he asked why you made the damn things in the first place and you told him, “i like whale sharks. but to be totally honest, i just run out of things to do."
and he saw that as a challenge. you were running out of things to do? rest assured he could find more shit for you to take care of. so he did. tasks that he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy, they were so dull and time-consuming. and you were so achingly competent that it drove him up a fucking wall. you completed everything he asked of you in half the time it would take someone else, and you always reported back with a smile, and you always did good work, and he could see himself having a conversation with you about something other than work but he didn't want to try because he was worried he'd begin to like you as a person.
you're pretty. really fucking pretty. he can see that now, and he sure as fuck saw it then. you're hardworking. you're just likeable, and that's something katsuki had never been. it (reluctantly) impressed him. worse than that, it turned his feelings for you into a sort of interest.
but he knows he's not normal when it comes to things like this.
he tried to distance himself from you because of it, but it turns out that asking someone to do work for you means you do have to speak to them sometimes. and sometimes turned into a lot of times.
sometimes turned into bringing him coffee in the morning, not because he asked you to, but because you're sweet like that. sometimes turned into being the person he bounced ideas off of when he had a board meeting coming up or something otherwise boring and meticulous. sometimes turned into you laughing at his prickly comments rather than going quiet because of them. turned into you saying suck it up, dynamight, this is what it means to be the boss when he complained about doing paperwork.
sometimes turned into staying late with him at the office, getting take out for the two of you to share while you finished filing claims and damage reports and other stuff he hated taking care of by himself. sometimes turned into him asking you to stay late just because he wanted you there. because even when he was quiet, you'd tell him about your day, about things that happened in the office, about how much you like the book you'd both been reading. he loved listening to you talk. felt comfortable enough to tell you things about himself when he'd never felt comfortable doing that before.
sometimes turned into you holding out a piece of fried tofu from your take-out container for him to eat while he was approving time-off forms that he should have looked at much earlier that week, and you being so close that he could notice how good you smelled, and the warmth of your body basically radiated towards him, like all your energy was focused on him, and your smile was small but somehow even more lovely than usual, a secret for him to tuck away and keep, and when you finished feeding him and he had a little sauce on the corner of his mouth and you reached forward to wipe it off for him and your hand lingered there for a moment and your eyes fell to his lips and what if you try to kiss me and i'm wrong and you hate me for it and what if i can't give you what you want and what if i'm not actually what you want what if i've disappointed you already what if—
it was too much.
so he fucked it up. your thumb was so soft against his skin. he reeled backwards in his chair, rolling it whole feet clear of you, and he felt the tearing again, the bad kind, like paper unevenly shredded by clumsy hands, and he had to leave. he had to leave. he needed to leave so badly that it felt like pulling his skin off would be preferable to being in that office with you.
hiding in the bathroom was fucking pitiful. he remembered his breathing exercises. he remembered to ground himself. and when he came back to his office, you were gone.
if he was normal—and he wants to be normal, god fucking damn—he could have stomached your proximity. he could have eaten out of your fucking hand. he could have touched you back like a normal person probably would have and he wouldn't be here, alone, looking at a little purple sticky note you left him that says i finished organizing the pto forms. i hope you feel better!
he doesn't know whose pride you're trying to save with that. as if you didn't leave because he made things so fucking awkward by running away from you when you touched him. when you—maybe, if he was reading the room correctly—were about to kiss him.
and you don't speak to him for days. he doesn't want to push so he doesn't—just watches you out of the corner of his eye whenever you're both in the same room, which is arguably worse. he's not sure. he's just itching to fucking talk to you because he misses it.
he misses you. in a more-than-friends way.
it takes a while for him to realize this. when he does, it hits him like a metal rod up the side of the head. it's fucked up of him to miss you the way he does when he doesn't feel like he can provide you with the things a normal person could. and though he's worked on his patience over the years—worked on understanding that he can't have everything he wants—it doesn't stop him from being selfish and finally pulling you aside to talk.
and baffling as fucking ever, the first thing you say is sorry. "i know i should've talked to you about it earlier. i just—i shouldn't have done that. and i know it. i shouldn't have assumed that—i don't know. that you..."
you look helpless. it's one of the very few times that katsuki has ever felt the compulsion to touch someone. not because he wants the touch, per se, but because he wants to be able to provide comfort. he never figured out how to do that with words. he's so focused on his inability to comfort you that he barely has any idea of what you're actually talking about. instead of doing anything at all, he just stands there like a fuckwad.
"i just want you to know that i would never—like never—have touched you, or tried to... if i didn't think there was like, a vibe?" you shake your head, exasperated with yourself. "god, even that sounds so bad. i'm sorry, i just—"
"wait, what are—?" and then it clicks, because he's been slow on the uptake figuring out his shit when he should have been focusing way more on yours. "there was..." katsuki says, and he fucking hates that he can't find better words for what you were both feeling in his office, "a vibe."
the way your face changes when you're flustered is one of katsuki's favorite things, but it's not as enjoyable when he feels just as flustered as you look. "i—oh? so... so you—?"
his ears feel like they're being attacked by two heated straightening irons and he knows they're red as hell right now. he's gonna have to say this plainly even though he'd rather get his teeth pulled out one by one with a pair of pliers. "it's not you."
your expression loses any sort of hope it once held. you press your lips together and sigh, maybe a little exasperated. he's doing his best here but he knows his best is shit. "i can handle a non-cliché rejection," you tell him. "honestly, i'd prefer a non-cliché rejection—"
"i'm not trying to reject you," he says, and it's selfish of him. because he's really not. he isn't comfortable with the things you'd want from him, but he still wants you in some capacity. "i just don't—do shit like that."
"kissing?"
somehow knowing for sure that you did want to kiss him in his office makes him want you more. he likes that you're bold. he likes that you're not ashamed of that. he wants to be different than he is. "any... of it," he struggles to admit.
"at all?"
he nods.
"just—like touching, and stuff?"
it sounds so juvenile that he can't help but laugh through his nose, roll his eyes. "yeah. touching and stuff."
"oh."
you're disappointed. of course you are. it's not like he expected anything different, but—sometimes he fucking hates his life. hates that he can't be the thing people need him to be. hates that trying is so difficult, that it flings his stomach into space, like a throwing stone skipping across a still lake.
"so you don't go on dates, or anything."
"haven't tried."
"do you not want to?" you ask, and he can tell it's more of a genuine question than anything. you're curious about him, like you always are. it's more than he deserves, for all he can offer.
"doesn't make sense to."
"that's not what i asked."
it's not. and so katsuki listens as you ask your question again, and he really takes a moment to think.
considering the answer to your question leads him to his first date with you. and his second, and his third—his fourth, and he's keenly aware that his last fourth date ended with what he expects all dates are supposed to end with.
he takes you to the aquarium. because of all the fucking origami whale sharks. you still haven't given him one and it sticks in his craw like a bone. in front of the backlit tank that holds sharks of all types, shapes and sizes and teeth he's never pictured possible of a living creature before, he asks, "why sharks?"
you look at him, brow raised. "i don't know. they probably needed the biggest tank in the aquarium. and this looks like the biggest tank."
"no, dumbass—your sharks. the ones all over the fuckin' office."
"what, you don't like them?" you ask, but you're smiling, sly.
he shrugs. he thinks they're dumb as hell. he wants one to hang up at work, like the ones you've got hung up at your desk. "they're whatever. they clutter the fuck out of ei's office. and he's already got issues organizing." you've just made eijirou so many at his point, and it's getting ridiculous. "but what—are they easy to make, or something?"
you laugh a little. "no. not at all, actually." a whale shark swims by, its spotted hide shimmering in the tank's eerie blue lighting, and you watch it intently. "but it'd be boring if it was too easy."
this date ends with him walking you home from the aquarium a few blocks from your apartment and you smiling at him and telling him that you had a really great time, and he feels like a fucking freak because you don't even expect more. you don't wait for a kiss. don't look disappointed that he doesn't try to give you one. the way you look at him holds so much affection that he doesn't deserve and he has no idea how to reciprocate it to you, and somehow he lands on, "make me one."
"one what?" you ask, but he thinks you already know what he's asking. you like to play coy. he likes it when you play coy. when you're enjoying yourself.
"one of your little fuckin' paper things," he mutters, because admitting that he wants one of those dumbass sharks feels somehow demeaning. he doesn't want you to know how much he's wanted one. "ei's got a million of 'em."
your hand was on your door handle, but it falls to your side. he's keenly aware of its proximity to him. he doesn't feel that terrible ripping in his gut and its absence is almost frightening to him. your fingers tighten into a fist. it's cold out. "ah, and you're jealous?"
"no," he says, knee-jerk. "i just don't get why everyone gets one but me."
you smile when he says this and he could live in this image of you, delicate and small and made for him. he goes home and thinks about it until he falls asleep. thinks about it even beyond then, feels that strong breeze inside him tearing every leaf from its grounded perch.
here's the thing—nothing against jirou, but unlike his other fourth date, this one was enjoyable. more than. he loved watching you be amazed by the size of the whale sharks, and he loved watching you put a bunch of coins into the penny press and cranking the machine until one was squeezed out into the pattern you wanted, and he loved watching you lay your hand against the glass where the rubbery wings of a flood of stingrays battled for your attention, and—
he loved watching you. that's weird, right? he sounds like a fucking lunatic thinking that.
but he does. he hadn't realized until now how difficult it had been not only to touch people, but to look at them. maintaining eye contact, watching someone do a simple task out of interest instead of staring them down in an attempt to intimidate them. he's so much more fucked up than he thought but what makes it bearable is that he can do it with you. he can watch the way you enjoy things and feel like he's not intruding on something he shouldn't. without even trying, you make him feel welcome—wanted.
that's it. you make him feel wanted.
the realization affects him in a way he doesn't understand. at work the next day, when you smile at him over the top of the front desk, he feels something incredibly strong—something like instinct—that tells him to touch you. small. a thumb brushed across your cheek. his fingers grazing yours. he wants it in a way that can't be right because he's never wanted to touch someone like this.
he doesn't do it, but he thinks about it all day. your little smiles when you notice him watching you on your dates, the way your fingers graze your lips when you cover your laugh, the softness in the way you regard him. you're quiet, reserved, but when you laugh you laugh hard. he wants your soft, your quiet and your loud, he wants the feeling of your fingers on his lips, he wants your smallest smiles, all things he wishes he could fold up and keep and later display somewhere he can always see them. a school of paper fish, gaping mouths and drawn-on spots and such carefully pressed lines.
so on the eleventh date—(he knows it's ridiculous to count, but he's never spent this much time with one person before, not like this)—he reaches for your hand when you're walking alongside the bay, the air turning cold in the wake of the sunset that the two of you had just witnessed. that's romantic, you'd teased when he asked you to watch it with him. he'd rolled his eyes, shrugged you off.
but maybe he wanted it to be romantic. maybe he wanted to make this as normal as possible for you because nothing has been normal between the two of you so far.
you pull back when he reaches for you, as if on instinct. look up at him, confused, when he reaches out again. "katsuki..." you say, and it sounds as if he's done something wrong.
he tries not to let his brain spiral but thoughts drip inwards. water meeting a dented hull. what has he done this time? what else has he fucked up by being fundamentally wrong?
"you know..." you start, and you lose your words.
he thinks of kyoka, years ago. it's okay, you know. to not like it. he wonders if you'll still text him like she does.
your lips pull into a frown before you speak and katsuki can't breathe. "i was never gonna ask on my own because i know you don't like talking about things like this if you don't bring it up. but—um. katsuki—do you think i expect something from you?"
"huh?" he asks, dumb. breathing is still something he fails to do.
"i know that this is—different. i know you have some things going on that make the physical part hard for you." you look up at him so earnestly, and he loves looking at you. he loves looking at you and doesn't want to have to stop and he's worried that this is it. the moment he'll have to stop. you try to smile and it's small and he wants it all for himself. careful. delicate. secret, for him. "i'm not gonna lie to you. i don't know what a relationship without that kind of stuff looks like. but that doesn't mean i'm not willing to find out. it's—i don't need you to try to do something you think i want you to do."
"i'm not."
"it makes me feel a little sick, kat. honestly. it makes me feel like, i don't know—like i'm taking advantage of you, or something—"
"you're not."
"you don't have to do things like that to keep me around." you look flustered, eyes darting from his face to the skyline. "if you want me, i'm—you know."
it's okay, you know. "i don't know."
"i'm yours," you say, and cringe immediately at your words. "or like—i could be, you know, kind of whatever you wanted, if you—if that's what you want. would want."
katsuki can only remember a few times when his head was this quiet in the presence of someone else. when he trusted someone enough to let his mind go blank, to let himself act on instinct. "can i kiss you?"
you sigh. "this is what i was saying. i don't want you to—"
"no," he says, quiet, and he's closer to you than he's ever been. he likes the way you smell. he's not gonna apologize if that's weird. "i just want—god, i feel pathetic asking again. can i just—?"
just, just, just. just a touch, just a kiss, just a moment of your fucking time—it's all he wants. and he's never wanted like this. he's never trusted like this. his head has never quieted entirely because he's so sure that he's not going to disappoint you, or be something you don't actually want, or be wrong.
you've shown him that he can't be wrong with you, regardless of whether or not something within him is broken.
your lips are warm, a little chapped from the dry air, and he tries to remember what kissing chastely is but it's like something breaks in him further the second the two of you touch. his hands are cradling your face, his tongue is gliding against your tongue, his teeth are clacking against your teeth, and he knows the kiss is bad and wrong and messy but he suddenly needs it. he needs to feel you.
you make a noise against him and worry slices into his stomach before he realizes it's a quiet, breathy moan, and maybe you've been okay without the touch but that doesn't mean you don't enjoy it when you receive it. he can tell he hasn't made his boundaries clear enough—your hands circle his wrists, too cautious to go further, too hesitant to grip him like he thinks you want to. like he wants you to want to.
his teeth hit yours again and you laugh, and he pulls back, stomach tight. there's a hope in him that's ready to be torn.
you see it in his face—the fear. "i love kissing you," you blurt out, as if it's the only reassurance you can think of in the moment. "i mean—you're just." you laugh again, and he realizes it's nerves. you're just as nervous as he is. "can i—can we go somewhere warm? and maybe do this more? or—if this was enough—"
he's pulling you towards his apartment before you can get another word out.
kissing you is easy because you make him feel like it's relatively new for you as well. maybe that's how it feels for everyone every time, but he wouldn't know. he just feels comfortable with you. like you're not so much better than him, like you're not waiting to laugh at him when he fucks up, like you're touching him because you really want to.
so he takes you to his apartment and puts you on his couch and kisses you until your back is against the armrest and he's looming over you and you feel comfortable enough that your hands stray from his wrists to his shoulders to his hair and he didn't even know touching someone could feel like this.
put aside the fact that he's nearly finished in his fucking jeans three times just from your fingers running across his back, from the way you cup his cheek when he pulls back for air because he keeps forgetting to breathe—just having you close is intoxicating. he wants to bury his face in the curve of your shoulder, he wants to bite marks into your skin that'll stay vibrant for weeks, he wants to etch himself into you so deeply that he doesn't have to leave. these wants aren't even sexual—it's something about having you be his. i'm yours, you'd told him, and he hadn't even known that it would be exactly what he needed to hear.
he's in love with you, which isn't shocking to him, but he knows he shouldn't be in love with you yet because people that aren't fucked up in the head don't feel shit like this so quickly. he's not gonna tell you this for a very long time, but he knows—so completely and confidently—that he will reach a point when he can tell you.
"you sure you want this?" he asks, breathy, between kisses.
you stop kissing him, brows raised in surprise. "katsuki, we don't... this is a lot for one night. we can take it slow, still."
"that's—i'm not talking about that." he gives in, then—lets himself bury his face in the crook of your neck, lets himself breathe in deep, lets himself find your hands and intertwine your fingers, and you can probably feel that he's hard as fucking metal for you but that's not what's important right now. it sure as hell makes it awkward to try to have a serious conversation, though. "you sure you wanna deal with all... you know. my stuff."
"are you sure you wanna deal with all of my stuff?" you counter, and he pulls back to look at you. kissed rotten and smiling. "of course i want to deal with it. i like you."
and he likes you too. god, he likes you so fucking much.
the next morning, long after you've left for home, he finds a little orange whale shark hidden behind the alarm clock on his bedside table, stars in the place of eyes, and the trace of you is enough to make him feel warm. to hope that over time his apartment becomes full of the little paper creatures until his home is its own aquarium, until everywhere he looks is a memory of all you've brought him—pieces of you, perfectly arranged and delicately folded by your careful hands, much too gentle to tear.
#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bkg#fics#heehee idk even.... what this is. back on my angst bullshit. but it was fun to write!!!!#would love to be on here more often and write more little things like this would love if life wasn't like incredibly busy all the time
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I should be asleep but this is consuming me.
So have this poorly thought out fic drabble idea of mine:
Prowl is in pain, hurt and agony, physically and emotionally. He shouldn't have let Jazz convince him, he should have listened to that tingly uncertain feeling on his spark about this
But dammit was Jazz so...so convincing. It pained him to realise how much he wanted to trust the organic.
What didn't help was that bastard in front of him giving him mock grief. Prowl knew he did not care at all about how he feels, he knew there was some sort of sick enjoyment to all of this.
"Sorry, he couldn't come visit again. He actually had to help out with the newest mech, in fact, this prototype had one of your own parts in it!" Prowl wanted to sob, twisted asshole.
Suddenly, something seemed to have caught the organic's attention. Prowl didn't hear it at first, but once the man in front of him turned around in confusion, he heard it, there was some sort of commotion on the other side of the door.
Suddenly, before any of them could question what was going on, the doors burst out open with an explosion, causing many tools to clatter to the ground as the ground shook.
"GET AWAY FROM MY PARTNER!" Prowl, in a weak yet desperate attempt, turned his head to look at the direction of the voice. He recognised it-
"Jazz?" He spoke weakly. That seemed to have crushed the organic's soul, his face crumbling from his previous rage, before, in a blink of an eye, it turned back to fury. Fury so strong it could kill whoever dared look.
"Jazz?!" The twisted man standing in front of Prowl's face looked offended if not straight out annoyed at the other's presence. "What are you-?" He couldn't even finish his sentence before the other dropped whatever it was he had been holding and jumped on top of him. The two fought for a while, Jazz punching the guy a few times on the face before grabbing him by the neck of his shirt and throwing him to the other side of the room.
Jazz huffed, making sure to keep his eyes on his target for a second to see if that was enough to have knocked him out. It was. And once he was sure the guy wouldn't come back at him, he turned to look at Prowl, who so far, has only made move to watch the whole thing go down.
It took a while for the mech to properly process how Jazz looked, how he looked at him. Guilt, pain, sadness, exasperation even. It almost seemed like he was...crying?
"Prowl!" His partner? Ex-partner? (He wasn't sure anymore), ran to grasp his face, and he let him, to weak to fight back like he wanted to. Then he felt it, small droplets of water fall down his faceplates, 'Oh, so he was crying'. "I'm so sorry, i shouldn't have brought you here- we, we need to get you out-" as he moved, Prowl took notice of how dishevelled the other looked, the sudden smell of iron making him realise that he seemed to be covered in blood, if it was his own or not, Prowl wasn't sure, perhaps it was both. Taking a closer look, he started to notice all the small bruises and scratches on Jazz's face, in fact he took notice of a limp on his left leg too.
The other just seemed to be mumbling to himself as he tried to free Prowl, who so far has not spoken all that much, he felt too weak and tired, and he really had nothing to say other than a simple reply to what Jazz said before but he didn’t process it till now
"You really shouldn't have..."
---
Ok that's all i have rn, bc I'm not much of a writer and idk how to write these characters so they might be a bit OOC sorry ^^;;
But feel free to like add and/or fix anything to this.
Just wanna add the note that maybe, the reason Jazz found out is bc he recognised Prowl's plating on the new mech thing they built ;)
OH MY GOD I CANT EVEN
RAAAAHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS. OH FUCK. THI s. SO GOOD AND PAINFUL IM ASCENDING TO SOME NEW UNDISCOVERED DIMENSIONS
ALSO. oh my fucking god you have galaxy brain for this. imagine the horror Jazz feels when he sees this random new robot his boss wants to test. And it’s plating is so freaking familiar. He runs his hands along the panels. And he recognises them, even repainted. Because he spent so much time sitting on them, repairing them, crawling on them with his magnets. Sleeping on them even. He sees the “scar” from the time he helped Prowl to fix his armor and welded some cracks in it.
And now the fucking plates are here but Prowl isn’t.
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“I’ll show you how a real man treats a woman” - Park Sunghoon .
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cw: Mentions of cheating, College! AU, roomie!sunghoon, revenge sex, protected (pls wrap it up.), consensual. (Non consensual activities isn’t Valid.), phone call fucking, recording. (Practically recording since your being shown on call), Exhibitionism,cunnilingus, polite! Sunghoon - (polite men are so AGHH) , aftercare massage, comfort words, pet names (good girl, gorgeous, etc.)
A/n: I’m writing this san fic but Idk if I’ll ever release it. Because holy shit writers block is a bitch. I actually finished the story. But I used some words or lines from my san fic holy shiett. Also I’m new to writing Smut So idek if this is good.
“Are you fucking serious, Aaron, you’re fucking my bestfriend?” You said. Agitated. Who could blame you? “It was an impulse, y/n. You would’ve done the same if you were me.” He tried to defend himself but you didn’t want to hear it. You Walked into Your boyfriend, getting it on with your bestfriend. “I can’t believe you either Mara.” You Snapped. You not only Felt angry, but you felt betrayed. “Wait, y/n please. Let me explain” Mara begged you to at least hear her out but you didnt, you grabbed your phone from the Countertop and immediately left.
-‘sunghoon im going back to the dorms.’ You immediately texted him.
-‘hm? Something bad happened between you guys?’ He Replied with a tone of Curiosity, he was Nosey. But that’s Not the point right now.
-‘worse, he cheated on me with Mara.’ You revealed. Meanwhile Sunghoon wasn’t really surprised but didn’t want to be that person who says ‘I told you so’ because he doesn’t want to make you Mad either.
-‘well, im sorry. I’ll be waiting for you at the dorms.’ He felt Obviously bad for you, his Apology was genuine. Of course Aaron was a dick. Before you guys even started dating. He slept around a lot. To the point where like the whole female population on campus probably knows how he is in bed. He was obnoxious. And he had known something was Wrong with him.
You made it back to your Dorm, Punching in your Pin and The door Made a little click! You walked into the dorm, your footsteps Heavy as You plopped onto the couch. This was to much to take In, sunghoon was In his bedroom but Had heard to come into the dorm, getting up from his bedroom and greeting you.
“I’m sorry y/n.” He said. He hadn’t done anything but he had still appeared to be apologetic. “So, you just walked into their ‘sesssion’? That’s. Great.” He said with obvious sarcasm. You knew that sunghoon hadn’t liked him, one bit. Not because he was dating you. actually maybe that but he had heard by some women around campus always twirling their hair and Giggling just talking about Aaron.
“I’m sorry to say this but, he’s a man-whore y/n.” He admitted his Feelings about Aaron. “Why should you be sorry? It’s true. He Wows every girl he comes across and brings them all home.” Sunghoon then Furrowed his eyebrows. “And you stayed? That’s a lot of dedication, have you to even slept together?” He was so surprised, why would you stay with him, even after cheating and Toxicity from him? “No, we haven’t even kissed.” You were a little ashamed, what was even the point of staying with him, when you guys haven’t even kissed once??
“Goddamnit, y/n you’re hopeless, he doesn’t know How to take care of his own girlfriend? Meanwhile he’s sleeping around with other women? No y/n. It’s not that he Doesn’t Like you. It’s because he Doesn’t Fuck with you. Are you that dense?” Sunghoon Already Lecturing you about relationships and How dumb you were being When in your Relationship with Aaron wasn’t comforting either. “You’re not helping Sunghoon. Are you jealous?” You asked him. I mean maybe sometimes he seemed jealous but you just assumed that.
“Jealous? What is there to be jealous of? he’s just a man-child. Who can’t control himself infront of woman, looking at one and immediately popping a boner. That’s Not a man Y/n. That’s a boy. And let me tell me, I know how to Take care of a woman. Like a real man.” You were immediately silenced. “What? Did i Silence you because you’re scared? Or because you know I’m right?” Oh my god the way he was speaking to you was Lowkey Hot. Wait. Y/n that’s your roommate. You just got out of a relationship with your cheating boyfriend. You can’t just homie hop out of nowhere.
“I’m not scared of you, you’re not right either!” You weren’t lying. You were in denial. All your Time with Aaron you thought he wanted you so bad but it was the opposite. You knew sunghoon is a 100% right. But your ego was hurt from the Fact that your ‘boyfriend’ didn’t Even vibe with you. “Oh, so I’m not right? You’d rather be living all your life; lying to yourself, that your boyfriend who doesn’t even love you. Loves you?” He said In disbelief. This girl.. “you’re absolutely pathetic, y/n. It’s sad, sadder than the notebook.” He said infront of your face. You remember he said he Knew How to Treat a woman and how he was such a ‘man’
“You’re not a man at all sunghoon, you’re not a saint at all!!..you’re just some Boy.” You don’t even know what you were saying. But that pissed sunghoon off. “ ‘Some boy’? I’m just ‘some boy’? Y/n. You’re actually Ridiculous.. if you’re just gonna let yourself get cheated on, you’re just gonna keep complaining about it. And nagging me. You’re gonna keep getting hurt y/n, it’s not healthy. I’m not saying these things To be mean.
If you don’t. Get hurt by your boyfriend Cheating. Then you shouldn’t be hurt by Some criticism.” He knew He was right, you were just insecure and needs At least one thing you said, right. “Oh, I see what you’re doing. You’re hurting and placing the blame on me because you still stayed that whole time when he was cheating on you.” He Chuckled. My god you Were miserable.
“That’s a low thing you could do, y/n placing the Blame on your roomie? That’s not nice is it?” He shifted closer to you On the couch. still Mad but He had a sly Look on his face. “How about I show you, how a real man treats a woman like you?” You were enticed. Man. Sex with sunghoon? Yes please. You immediately nodded, but had thought for a Moment.
“Sunghoon?” You Asked him, not knowing if he’d even hear your Proposal out. “Yes, y/n?” He Asked back. “Can you call my ex while we fuck?” You said that so boldly, Sunghoon was caught off guard by the proposal, but had nodded. “Sure. So this is revenge sex, right?” He asked you. Making sure That he wasn’t getting any wrong idea.
“Yes, revenge sex. Even if he calls while we’re fucking. Answer. And turn the fucking camera on. Alright?” Sunghoon had pink Spots on his face and nodded. Showing yourself to your ex on phone call, fucking your roommate was not what He was expecting to hear from you. But he nodded. “Yeah, alright.” He looked over at you and Had Glanced into your eyes. “May i?” He asked softly he wasn’t afraid to kiss you or anything but he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. “Yes, please sunghoon.”
You Nodded desperately. He smiled softly and moved your hair behind your delicate face. Kissing you softly. He grabbed you by the hips, you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, one Hand on your waist, the other on your Ass. He walked over to his bedroom, with you in his Arms,he swiftly opened the door with his hand, carrying you with only his hand on your ass. He kicked the door softly. The door clicking close. He Gently laid you onto his bed. Taking in all of you. And Smiled. “You’re genuinely so pretty, y/n.
“Im really not, Sunghoon.” You Rejected his compliment and Remained humble, a little too humble. “Y/n, kindly shut up and take the compliment from me. I mean it, you’re too harsh on yourself.” He replied to your Comment about yourself he took his jacket off, a subtle little smile on his face. God bless his future wife on the first night. He zipped his jacket off, taking it off and tossing it onto his chair. He Rolled his sleeves up and he walked over to you. “May I take this skirt off?” Was that even a question? Yes,yes,yes. “Yes,yes,yes, please take it off.” You were getting desperate. But come on. It was Park Sunghoon.
“Alright. lift those hips up for me.” He mumbled against his breath. You complied, raising your hips up. “Good girl, let’s take those off.” He murmured and Slid your Skort (skirts and shorts) down to your ankles , letting Them fall down. They fell down your ankles, onto the floor. He glanced over at your pretty underwear. They were a white lacey underwear with strawberries on it, of course with that signature pink bow at the waistband. There was already a damp spot at the front. Which sunghoon immediately noticed. “You’re wet already?” He Asked you with Amusement in his voice, you could hear that smile in his voice.
“N-no. That’s Just. Uhmm. Yeah I am.” You said, ashamed and a little bit embarrassed about that. He Chuckled at your Response and embarrassment and He he ran his hand up and down your fabric-covered folds.making you shiver. “You like that?” He Asked you, making sure you were comfortable. He grabbed a few pillows. And placed one under your back and another under your head so you were at least a little more comfortable. “Let me slide these to the side.”
He muttered and Slid the fabric of your underwear to the side. Seeing your glistening and Needy cunt. “What a pretty pussy, my lady.” He admired every Part of your body. Even after insulting you. “I’m just gonna have to rip this off of you I swear.” He joked. But he Wasn’t shy at all. He Then Looked into your eyes. “May I?” He was too polite. But you could tell he was Raised that way Which led to that proper attitude.
“Fuck yes, you may.” He knelt down, knees on the floor and his face between your thighs. His breath fanning against your pussy.He then got an experimental lick of your cunt. Humming from the sweetness. “Holy shit, you taste amazing.” He said, “I need another taste, I haven’t ate so, count this as my dinner.” He immediately started to Devour you. His tongue swiping Up and down between your folds.
The explicit sounds of Him, slurping on your Sweet juices. Feasting on you. Both hands On your thighs, the tip of his nose Swiping up and down on your clit. Which stimulated You even more. “Fuck sunghoon.” You Moaned softly, tilting your head back and pursing your lips. “Don’t hold back gorgeous, let me hear how I’m making you feel.” He whispered against your Folds. Then Suckling on your folds. Pulling his head back with your folds in his mouth then letting go, moving his head Side to side, your clit Being Stimulated once more With his Nose and it felt so damn good.
“Fuck sunghoon.” You moaned out loud. Sunghoon Was Making you feel good. He was doing you good. “You like that, my Gorgeous woman?” You guys weren’t even dating and he’s already calling you such things? Oh that made you feel so wanted. He started to suck on your Clit, this tongue Swirling on the most Sensitive part of your clit. Who am I kidding? Every part of it was sensitive. You Sat up to take your Shirt, sliding it off and Tossing it onto his floor, you were wearing your Matching brassiere along with the underwear but the. Unclasped it. Your breasts jiggling from coming out of its confines.
You looked at sunghoon, between your thighs. Hands Running up and down your legs and Treating you like a real woman. He Glance up at you and he looked so fucking good from this angle. All in your folds and Cunt. you felt yourself getting close from the ticklish feeling in it. And You raised your hips a little on Impulse. “Oh fuck, Sunghoon. I’m close.” You announced to him, he nodded and Went back to eating your pussy out, he took on hand off your thigh and using his thumb to rub your clit. You Moaned From the double Stimulation and You Bit your lip. Then Feeling you Starting your orgasm you cried out loud and Moaned. Arching your back and Trying to push out the feeling.
You underestimated the push and Ended up Squirting all over sunghoons face. He was drenched in your Bodily Fluids, and Even his bed was covered with it. You Looked so embarrassed, covering your face. Though sunghoons reaction was priceless. “Holy shit, you squirted everywhere, y/n. But hey. Don’t cover that beautiful face of yours.. it’s natural.” He Comforted you. He then Got up from his knees, and Walked to his drawer and grabbing a Condom.
You noticed it was a large Sized condom and you were laying there. Thighs drenched and Still sensitive. “I’ll give you time for you to Desensitize. I know How It is for girls. Let me grab some Things Alright?” You nodded and Just laid on the Comfy and nice mattress. Sunghoon went to the Kitchen, going towards the cabinet and grabbing the coconut oil. He Walked back to the room. Closing the cabinet door. And setting the Coconut oil on the nightstand.
He placed the condom in his mouth. Trying to Get his pants off. Fiddling with his pants zipper and button. Before Successfully pulling them Off, along with his Boxer-briefs. He was like 7-8 inches, he Proceeded to Rip the condom wrapper off and grabbed it from the Packaging. rolling it onto his stiff cock. He Took his Shirt off. And finally took your underwear off throwing them onto his bedroom floor for like the 9th time. He then Crawled onto the bed and sat onto the bed, back against the headboard.
“Come ride me, y/n.” He Whispered loud enough for you to hear the seductive tone in his voice. You crawled your way over to him and Started straddling his Hips. “Hey, don’t get so impatient, I need to lubricate.” He chuckled at you. Grabbing the coconut oil and grabbing a generous amount, smearing some onto his cock. He Looked at you and smiled softly. “Don’t panic, let me help you.” He Guided your hips Down a little. Feeling his Tip of his cock-head pressing against your entrance you moaned a little bit, but it was more of a wince than a Moan. “Fuck.” You Winced. “It’s alright, I’m right here..” he comforted you and kissed your Cheek. He felt you sink down lower into him and finally sitting down on him. “Good job, see? I told you that you could. Do it.”
He then started to let you adjust to his size, though he wasn’t that big but it was better than any smaller Size. You started to move a little, wrapping your arms around his neck, circling your hips a little. You moaned softly. “Oh,fuck.” You cried out softly. Around 3 minutes later you started moving at your own pace, Moaning and Bouncing up and down on his Cock. Sunghoon was Moaning pretty softly. You could slightly hear him. He threw his head back. And bit his lip. “Oh fuck, y/n. Fuckk.” He was vocal while you were riding him, you might get noise complaints from the other college students in the dormitories but man, that didn’t matter right now.
“Oh my god, Sunghoon. I’m gonna fucking come again.” You warned him and He slapped your ass while you were still Bouncing on and off his cock. Your phone started ringing, and sunghoon had picked it up.
AARON // SUNGHOON
-‘y/n I’m sorry.” It was Aaron
-“y/n’s pretty busy.” Sunghoon said, still focused on you Riding his cock. He moaned a slight bit.
-“who the fuck is this?” Aaron was In his room, with Mara. And Mara was shocked hearing Sunghoon moan. She knew it was sunghoon since you,sunghoon, and Mara would talk sometimes.
-“this is sunghoon, Y/ns roomate?” Sunghoon glanced over at you and smiled. ‘Good girl, riding my cock good.’ He said. Aaron obviously hearing what Sunghoon said.
-“excuse me??.. are you fucking my girlfriend?” Aaron said over the line, just because I cheated doesn’t mean you should either. he thought.
-��hell yes I am. Let me show her off, bouncing off my Cock like the gorgeous girl she is.” Sunghoon turned the camera on. Showing you, riding on sunghoons dick. Moaning and whimpering, you were a damn mess. But you were still so pretty to sunghoon. “Isn’t she so pretty On my Cock Aaron?”
-“you fucking cheater!! You’re still mine.” Aaron Said furiously until Sunghoon cut him off.
-“no she’s not, I’m the first one in her Pussy, aren’t I? You didn’t Even Bother To kiss your own girl Aaron. Besides, she wants me, is that Right?” You were whining and Moaning then saying “yes I’m fucking yours.” He chuckled and Asked you a question. “Who’s is it?” You Were Concentrating on riding him, then saying. “This pussy’s yours, sunghoon.” You cried out loud.
-“…”
- phone call has ended. -
“He ended the call, Y/n.” Sunghoon finally said. Kneading your breasts in his hands. “You’re mine, right?” You nodded at his question and You quietly said. “I’m gonna come.” He chuckled and smiled. “I’m almost there.” You Were desperate for release so you began to Move on him faster. That caught sunghoon of guard. Then he moaned out loud. “Fuckk y/n.” He twitched inside of you “fuck I’m cumming.” He said. Before finally bucking his hips into you. Hitting your G-spot on accident making you climax as well. “Fuck! Oh shit.” You twitched in his arms.
Crying out loud and panting. Collapsing in his arms. “I’m here, y/n..” he kissed your cheek and pulled out gently. Placing you onto the bed. And the got up to dispose of the used condom. Rolling it off of him and throwing it in the trash. You guys laid In bed for a little. Sunghoon giving your back and thighs a massage. “Isn’t that alright?” You nodded and Laid in his arms. He kissed you and whispered some words In your ears. “You did so good.. get some beauty sleep. I’ll clean this up tomorrow.
#scenario#sunghoon#enhypen#smut#kpop#park sunghoon#sung hoon#enhypen smut#enhypen fanfiction#enha x reader#enhypen x reader
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do you write hypnosis stuff?? it's not specifically against the rules but idk it's kind of an iffy era for a lot of writers-
if it's okay with you, could you write some Vox x Singer!Reader who he uses his mind control on to sell their soul to him so they remain under the VoxTek label? (im sure remaining with him is an ulterior motive of his as well lol)
thanks :]
I can absolutely do that! I’m a little iffy about NSFW hypnosis, but I can do a SFW oneshot :)
siren songs
Obsessed!Vox x Singer!GN!Reader
Word Count: 1.4k
WARNINGS: Yandere-ish behavior, hypnosis, manipulation, toxic behavior, all that good stuff
A/N: I told y'all I'd be back with some toxic Vox!! I wasn't entirely sure how to end this one, but I've spent enough time rewriting it to stop caring. This one is only romantic in theory - nothing actually romantic happens between Vox and Reader, it's more mutual pining than anything else This is also my first time writing obsessive behavior, so I hope I did it well!
Dividers
You’ve been working with the Vees for years now. You were originally recruited by Velvette, who’s like a bloodhound for new talent. She saw some popular videos of your singing online, and she made you famous.
But you don’t work with her that much, oddly enough. Over time, you gradually started to see her less and less. Vox was the one to take her place. By the time you noticed, there wasn’t much you could do about it—you’re certainly not an equal to the Vees, so there wasn’t much you could do. Sure, you could’ve quit then and there, as you’d never signed a soul-binding contract, but you really liked your job. You were getting to do what you loved for a living! Who wouldn’t want that?
Well, you. You don’t want that anymore. You’re getting burnt out. You feel like you’re out of creativity for writing songs, and singing no longer has the same appeal it used to. It feels like a chore. Getting on stage doesn’t get you excited—it just fills you with dread.
Then you saw the videos of the annual clown pageant down in the Greed Ring. How Fizzarolli, Mammon’s favorite little jester, just…quit. Just like that.
Can you do that?
You don’t have backup like Fizzarolli did. There’s no Prince of Hell to protect you if the Vees lash out in response to your resignation. But the Vees aren’t Mammon. They’re powerful Overlords, sure, but they wouldn’t kill off an easy cash grab like you. And they don’t have any leverage to use against you—you’re a fucking superstar, you learned to stop keeping secrets a long time ago.
Yeah, you can totally do this!
You spend the next week making a plan. You currently live in V Tower, so finding another living arrangement is a priority. Luckily, your standards are just as low as before you got famous, so snatching up an apartment doesn’t take long. You’ve been building up savings for some time now, just little bits here and there that wouldn’t look suspicious among your bank withdrawls, so you have enough money to last you a while. You’ve made a go-bag, but you’re not too worried about bringing anything with you, as you have enough cash to just buy new shit. By the time the end of the week comes around, you’ve got your escape plan ready to go. All that’s left is to actually quit.
You decide that directly speaking to Vox is your best option. Velvette and you don’t have the same rapport that you used to, and Valentino is just… no. During your time working with Vox, you like to think there’s some sort of friendship there. The two of you chat amicably, and he always makes sure you’re okay when it comes to creepy fans and the like. You feel like there could be something more than just friendship, but you don’t plan on staying long enough to find out. As much as you like Vox, you’re not willing to spend the rest of your afterlife hating every second of your job just for him.
You stand outside Vox’s lair, mentally preparing yourself for this conversation. You take a deep breath, and right before you can knock on the door, it opens.
Okay, here goes.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
You aren’t as sneaky as you seem to think you are.
A normal boss wouldn’t have noticed the small transactions in your bank account, or the little trips you’ve been taking to go look at apartments. But Vox isn’t a ‘normal boss’ by any means. And he noticed.
From the moment Vox set eyes on you, he knew he wanted you. You’re beautiful, and fuck, your voice—he just can’t get you out of his damn head, no matter how hard he tries. And he really fucking tried. But he couldn’t avoid you, thanks to VoxTek being such an integral part of your performances. And you’re like a damn siren with that voice of yours, even though he’s supposed to be the hypnotizing one here. Eventually, he just gave in and accepted that he was more than a little obsessed with you. That’s why he started drawing you closer to him, pushing away Velvette and taking control of your brand. He doesn’t like sharing.
Obsession isn’t a particularly new feeling for Vox. He certainly has… tendencies. But this isn’t like whatever the fuck he’s got going on with that deer-headed, old-timey bastard Alastor. It’s not a lust thing, either. You’re certainly attractive, and Vox most definitely would sleep with you, but that’s not the main factor at play here. This is a deeper obsession than any of that bullshit.
Vox knows that he doesn’t own your soul. He’s well aware that he can’t truly stop you from quitting. Even if he managed to trap you inside V Tower, he can’t force you to keep up the performances. If he had you under a proper soul-binding contract, though…
He would own you.
Now, he’s not Valentino. He doesn’t plan to take that kind of advantage over you. He doesn’t want to change a damn thing. He just wants you to stay.
And he will make you stay.
He knows when you approach his office, and he opens the doors with the touch of a button on his desk. He plasters that casually perfect smile on his screen and turns to face you as you enter. The doors shut behind you.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you today, my dear,” he lies easily, the charismatic mask fitting into place like it was never absent in the first place. “How can I help you?”
You hesitate, your anxiety starting to get to you. But you’re determined to do this. You clear your throat and step forward. “I’m resigning.”
Vox’s smile doesn’t falter, nor does his screen glitch. His demeanor is…unnerving, to say the least. You’ve known him to be temperamental, emotional. You expected some kind of reaction. But he’s just smirking at you like he always does.
“I don’t suppose there’s anything I can do to change your mind,” he replies smoothly, tilting his head to the side just slightly.
“No,” you confirm, trying to sound confident in your answer. You’re not sure if you succeed. “I’ve already made my decision.”
Vox sighs, though he doesn’t sound very defeated. His smirk hasn’t gone away, either. “Well, then. It’s been a pleasure working with you, darling.”
He holds his hand out for you to shake. The gesture immediately worries you, as it’s the well-known sign of a deal. But you reassure yourself that there’s no deal being made here. Hell may be chaotic, but there’s rules when it comes to these kinds of things. Neither of you have offered anything, therefore there’s no harm in shaking his hand. It’s just a respectful gesture of a boss wishing their employee farewell. It all feels too easy, but you’re too relieved to think too hard about it.
You go to take his hand, but as you lift your head up to meet his gaze, everything goes fuzzy.
Vox grabs you by your wrist before you can shake his hand. He’s not rough with you. He’s careful of his claws, ensuring they don’t put too much pressure on your skin. Not that you’d notice, either way—your mind is far gone at this point, thanks to those spirals in his eye.
“In exchange for your soul, you’ll remain under the VoxTek label and continue working for me. Your work will remain the same as before. You’ll forget about leaving. You will want to stay here. You will want to stay here with me.”
A golden scroll appears out of thin air, and it floats in front of you as it unfurls. “Sign it.”
Your body moves on its own. You sign your name on the line at the bottom of the page.
Vox releases your wrist, and takes your hand in his own as his eye reverts back to its normal state. When you come to just moments later, he’s shaking your hand with calm professionality.
“I’m glad we got that sorted out,” Vox remarks smoothly, his smirk looking almost proud now. “I look forward to your next performance, my dear.”
You blink a few times as you become more lucid and aware. “Uh, yeah. Can’t wait!”
You smile, and Vox releases your hand, seemingly satisfied with your answer. You don’t remember what exactly you came in here for, but you’re happy with the outcome. “Perfect.”
#hazbin hotel#vox x reader#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel vox x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#vox x you#hazbin vox#vox hazbin hotel#hazbin vox x reader#the vees#gender neutral reader
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hi i love your writing SO MUCH and idk if i requested this already but… do you think we can get a brothers best friend ellie?? readers brother DOES NOT want them together but they end up fucking when he’s asleep/not home. or reader goes to ellies house and eats her out while shes on call with reader’s brother?? either one is fine i would just love to see you write it
i think you requested that but i made it likee the brother didnt care so heres a second one🤭ill post the first one too tho!!
BBF!ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER
mdni please<3
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warnings: 18+!! smut, almost getting caught
writers note: im sorry its so short whateva💔
You couldn't decide whether you like it or not.
Well, of course you did. Ellie never failed to make you feel good, her strap hitting all the right places while her hands caressed your thighs. She was rough, but not too rough. Degrading, but also praising. Basically, she was all you could ever ask for and more. What was there to hate?
But at some point, there was this little voice in your head telling you you're pathetic. Pathetic for liking this, agreeing to this and... just admiring her overall.
Because, jesus, 'she's my brother's friend. Best friend. What am I going to tell him?'
You, as the little sister, always let him insult you. Your opinion didn't matter, you gave up on trying to be important long time ago. You didn't hate him, he wasn't that bad. It was just sibling love language. He just couldn't be nice. If he knew about you and Ellie...
You were good at hiding it, though. When you first met her, you didn't believe she's really friends with your brother. Not to be mean, but you didn't thought he'll get along with someone who seems so... perfect.
'She probably has a shitty personality.'
That's how you explained their friendship. And you were terribly wrong.
After she visited your house once, she kept coming almost every day. At this point, you got used to that.
Oh, well, not exactly... There was some awkward situations, like when you exited the bathroom in only a towel wrapped around your bare skin and you saw her leaning against the handrail in the hallway. She only ruffled your hair and laughed at your embarrassment, seeing you blush and holding onto the fabric like your life depended on it. Maybe it did, actually?
It wasn't long after that before you began to wonder -'She can't be friends with my brother... can she?'- You started to notice more things - her kindness towards you, a tender touch here and there, and the way she looked at you made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. So what if she was his best friend? Would he really mind?
But what if he did? What if he found out?
Suddenly that little voice in your head was screaming louder than ever, and that feeling of shame and guilt crept up on you again.
But no matter how much of the guilt you felt, and despite the small voice in your head telling you you're pathetic, it felt right. You felt accepted. Accepted by someone who was perfect in every way. The thought of telling your brother filled you with dread, but it seemed so far away. You could figure out that little problem later, right? Just for now, you could feel a rush of emotions - mostly guilt, but also a rush of lust that made you want more.
More and more.
And she gave you more.
A quiet -'fuck'- escaped her lips as she saw your cunt throbbing against her strap. Her hands continued firmly holding you down as you didn't even bother to stay quiet. You felt so good... and so ashamed... You wanted it to stop but at the same time, you knew you'd beg for more if she would even simply slow down.
It was really your own fault.
This was the first time in ages you were left home alone, so you immediately invited Ellie over. First time you won't have to bury your face in the pillows. First time she won't have to shush you. First time you could actually do everything.
You were fighting your own thoughts, not knowing which one are the bad ones. You had no idea if you're doing the right thing. And you most definitely weren't but you were too fucked up to realize that.
Ellie chuckled, hearing your not-muffled this time sounds. "Were you always this loud? Jesus, how did we manage to keep this a secret for so long?"
The truth is, she wasn't silent herself. Fine, she wasn't a whining mess, unlike you, but still - the little 'fuck's and praises escaping her mouth weren't too quiet.
You continued squirming and whimpering about how big she is and how much it hurts, hoping it'll magically change, though you didn't really wanted it to. Or maybe you did? You weren't sure. Your mind continued the fight wether it's good or pathetic, none of the sides prevailing.
She clicked her tongue in disappointment, but her smirk told you how proud she really is. "I know, I know, so stop moving so fucking much." She said.
Her raspy, tired voice was enough to make you squirm again. You weren't used to hear it in these circumstances before, since it's obviously the first time she could speak loudly and clearly, without worrying about your brother.
"I said something, doll." Her grip on your hips hardened, almost aggressively pinning you to bed.
You heard the ring hanging near the door, meaning someone opened them. Just by footsteps you could tell it was your brother.
"Should I stop?" She asked with mock-concern and interest. You realized your answer won't change anything - maybe just the intensity of her moves, so you didn't waste your energy answering. That was a sign of your obedience and helplessness Ellie waited for. "Good girl."
She rolled you on your stomach and tangled her fingers in your hair, pressing your head into the pillow. She shoved it down with every thrust - every hit of your climax - to stop you from moaning. And of course it didn't work completely, but they faded enough to be inaudible outside the room.
She was intentionally going faster and faster. She loved playing with you, feeling the thrill of it, even though you didn't find it so amusing. You digged your nails into the tattoo on her forearm, hoping to slow her down.
"Ya know what will happen if he hears?" She didn't seem to care that your fingers were literally drawing blood from her body. "You'll handle it. Unless you want him to find out?" She whispered.
You immediately shook your head, pursing your lips and squeezing your eyes shut.
Then, your moment of focus broke as you heard knocking, on the door to your room this time.
"I'm back!" Your brother announced.
You asked him to tell you whenever he goes out or cames back, mostly so you knew if Ellie's free, since he only goes out with her. Today was the first time he went outside on his own and the poor guy had no idea she found a reason to visit your house anyway, just like he had no idea she did so even when he was home, in his room, right above yours.
The lack of response surprised him, so he knocked once more before shouting confused -'You there?'
Ellie looked down at you, daring you to answer, mouthing silent 'go on' in the most taunting voice she could.
"Yes! That's good!" Your voice was shaky and you knew he will notice.
He wasn't really caring, just curious, so he had to know everything. His first sentence sounded cute, like he really cared, but you figured out he's making fun of you as soon as you heard the other questions. "Are you crying? What, you weren't invited to some lame party? Or a boy you know for a week broke up with you?"
And what were you supposed to say? -'No, your best friend is fucking me for... probably more than an hour now, and her dick is probably bigger than yours, so I can't control my tears'
"Yeah, something lik- Oh, fuck off!" You screamed back, succeeding to pretend you're really hurt because of one of the pathetic things he accused you for.
He laughed. "Mhm- Whatever!"
The footsteps climbed up stairs and got silent. Ellie bit her bottom lip, holding back a chuckle.
"Does he really think of you so low?" Her hips slowed down again, but became more precise. "You did good, don't worry. It'll be over soon."
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x you#ellie x reader#ellie x y/n#ellie tlou#reqs open#wlw smut#ellie the last of us#bbf!ellie#bbf!ellie williams#bbf!ellie x reader#bbf!ellie williams x reader#brother's best friend#thank you nonnie#i love you nonnie#send anons
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Ur the best sub Leon writer soooo… idk if you seen these but ppl treat las plagas parasite as sex pollen 😭 and I’m so here for it. Concept : re4 leon infected by the parasite OK but he starts out very agressive but ofc he’s a sub so he does whatever reader wants in order to yk… achieve the goal of the parasite (breeding 😔 who said that? Not me) And pls make the reader mean, I love mean femdoms sm, they are chefs kiss. If you need more clarification post it I’ll send another one idk but I’m just seeing what YOU come up with. LOVE UR WRITING btw I love how it’s pretty in character tbh cuz I read ur bully Leon one and I was like “yeah fr like he’s too caring to be a bully 💀”
OMG WAIT MY DUMBASS FORGOT TO ADD: you said smth so mean to him that he came too early. He was so sorry for coming early and the mess he made in you But then he continued to keep going trying to pump more- OK SORRY
the BEST?? idk about that but i shall take ur compliment and deliver to you only my best work so thank u bestie i appreciate it sm !! ^-^
las plagas is crazy cuz like the black veins, the loss of control with your physical body, the pain it causes… that’s literally so hot. leon was so fuckable all of re4 but especially in the scenes where his body is being controlled that man is SCRUMPTIOUS
also just so you know. the veins on his dick are black as well ♡
no pronouns mentioned, afab parts mentioned, plaga leon has to be a top im sorry (technically in straight relationships men are always topping unless u count pegging BUT in this context i mean he’s a top more like ‘he’s a sub but he’ll fuck u stupid’ like that’s the vibe)
you spot his blonde hair from across the hall, running over to him excitedly. thank god you found him.
“leon!” you call out, grabbing the attention of the man in question, as you catch up to him. finally finding him in this nightmarish place after getting separated was the best thing possible, “holy crap, i’m so- i’m so glad you’re okay— woah, what… what happened to you?”
he takes a cautious step back, still seemingly holding a little bit of control over his body, “they said it was a gift in my…. my blood… don’t know what the fuck that was about..”
you take a step forward, reaching out your hand to touch his face, fingers tracing the black lines that were once veins invisible to the naked eye. but he stops you, his hand roughly grabbing your wrist, “don’t.”
“don’t… what?” you ask nervously, shoulders slumped.
“you need to… stay away from me,” he groans from pain, and you’re too worried to listen to his words, “stop, get away from me, you— i could hurt you! i don’t want to hurt you…”
but you don’t listen to him, betraying his wishes by shaking off his grip and reaching your hand out again. he can’t try to stop you this time. he moans, actually moans, when your fingertips touch his face, caressing him softly.
“really? it’s that good?” you ask with a small smirk on your face. leon thinks he could die.
“f-fuck…” he mumbles, finally coming closer to you. his hands wrap around your waist as he leans in for a kiss that you’re not ready for, and you both stumble backwards while you try to ground yourself.
he’s getting rough, aggressive, and you need to push back a little or else he’ll consume you entirely. not that you’d mind.
“leon, ease up,” you whisper, pushing him back slightly, and when a growl escapes his throat, you know he’s clearly not in any state to listen, “leon.”
he annoyedly makes eye contact with you, trying his best to listen to what you’re about to say. he is trying, and that’s the worst part. this is him at his most gentle, most restrained.
“you need to listen to me, okay? can you do that?” you ask softly, hand against his chest to keep him from diving too deep into you, and pressing a kiss to his lips. it’s softer. he moans into your mouth needily, but you don’t let him get rough. instead you sweetly get the taste of him. sure, it’s not a delicious taste, but he’s a delicious experience.
you enjoy the way he’s trying so intensely to control and contain himself, for your sake. he knows what you want from him is not his full fledged desires out in the open, completely unchecked.
when you pull away, he looks wrecked already, “please, you can’t do this to me, not if you’re just going to walk away and leave me desperate.”
part of you wants to reassure him. i’m not going to leave you. i would never abandon you when you need me most. but the other part just wants to ravage him, take all of him for yourself, leave nothing of him left but the perfection you’ve created. perfection in your eyes. maybe he’s not the only one infected with some kind of tainted desire.
instead, to accomplish both, you kiss him again, letting your own intensity and desire take over, potentially overpowering his. he whimpers, his shaky hands holding your hips for stability. he’s not being grossly possessive and rough like before. he’s softer now, pliable.
when you pull away, you whisper, “we need to get somewhere safe.”
“wha… what?”
“i need to take my time with you, and we’re not safe out in the open like this…” you say, leaning in to press a kiss to that sweet spot right below his ear. it’s so cute how truly weak leon is right now. sure, that’s always been his weakness, but it’s elevated multiple times over by this parasite in his blood. you have half the mind to thank that weird cult.
when you find a safe room, you’re immediately back on him, pushing him against the wall, enjoying the way he whimpers as you kiss him, his need for you multiplying by the minute.
“please, please, i need you, i need you so fucking bad, please, i need to take you, need to make you mine, need to—”
“shut up,” you groan, fingers roughly grabbing his jaw, pushing his head back and away from you, “you’re going to be good, or you won’t get what you want. i don’t care how badly you fucking need me, you’re going to be patient. you’re going to be nice and obedient or you’ll get nothing from me. and that little parasite inside of you is horrified at the idea that you won’t get to fuck my pretty pussy, hm?”
he looks pathetic, moaning like a whore at just some words, but it’s the way you say them, the way you say them, that kills him. he eventually calms himself down enough to nod with his eyes shut tightly, “i’ll do whatever you say. you know that.”
“lay down on the floor,” you command, almost growling back at him, and he opens his eyes in surprise.
“what?”
“you heard me. on the ground, beneath me, right now, leon,” your eyes narrow at him, enjoying the way he weakly sinks to his knees before sitting down completely and laying back.
“like this..?” he asks, confused. he doesn’t know what’s about to happen, and that excites him immensely.
you take off your belt with all your utility tools and your jeans along with it. then finally, your underwear. he looks up at you with wide, delicious eyes.
he asks so sweetly, even though he knows the answer, “are you… are you gonna make me..?”
“yeah, you are. i’m going to sit down on your pretty, pretty face and you’re going to enjoy every second of being beneath me, where you belong, servicing me, and making me cum.”
his heart skips a beat at the thought of belonging beneath you, “yeah, fuck, okay—”
“—and you’re not going to fucking talk until i cum, got it?”
he nods, and once you sit down upon your throne, he gets right to work. he laps up the fluids of your cunt like a dog, working tirelessly, sucking on your clit and tongue fucking you. this is his place. he deserves nothing more than to be here with you, caving to your every desire even if all of his thoughts include breeding you and getting you pregnant with his babies. he’d do anything you asked if he could just have that.
he’d be at your service, at your mercy, until you chose to give him what he wanted.
but he makes you cum so fucking hard that it’s impossible to not give him what he wants, especially when rough hands grab onto your thighs as you’re cumming and he’s still giving you the head of your life through your orgasm. he grabs you just to stabilize you, but also to be possessive.
he can’t help how bad he’s gotten about jealousy and possessiveness with this parasite. he’s never been the jealous boyfriend, knowing you could hold your own and you’re loyal and stuff, but something about the way he looks at you now is different. it’s deep and primal. he looks at you like he needs to have you, and no one else can.
it’s insanely hot, but it’s also inconceivable how uncontrollable those urges are. leon has good self control, and you notice it in how he’s acting. again, this is him at his most restrained. he’s trying to keep himself from pouncing on you, taking everything he wants from you because he knows you don’t want that.
somewhere deep inside of him, he’s still himself, still that awkward and dorky guy that just wants to love you and give you everything you want. you wouldn’t want that.
when you roll off of him, laying down next to him to give yourself a moment to recover, you press a kiss to his shoulder, a sign that it’s an act, your harshness isn’t real. he returns the gesture by kissing the top of your head. a sign that he acknowledges your motives.
“please,” he whimpers suddenly, startling you out of your daze as his hand caresses your back softly, “i’ll let you control everything, you can do whatever you want with me, but fucking please, i’m so desperate to put my cock inside of your pussy, baby. i can’t think straight, and i’m trying so damn hard to control myself but i won’t be able to much longer…”
“yeah? you wanna put your cock inside of me? feel it throb inside the wetness and warmth of my cunt, fill me up with—”
he cuts you off with a loud moan, his hands grasping onto you and his eyes shutting tightly at the thought of such pleasure. he looks wrecked at the mere mention of cumming inside of you. you obviously have to capitalize on this fact.
“oh? so it’s the filling me up part, isn’t it? the ‘gift’ you have makes you really want to cum inside me, hm?” you say, smirking cruelly at him, watching his resolve crumble as he moans shamelessly, “do you want… breed me, leon?”
he gasps, breathing heavily. he’s incredibly wound up, and now you know the real reason he’s insatiable and uncontrollable, “f-fuck, i— it’s not that i want to, it’s that i need to… i need to fuck you and breed you so damn bad, i—”
you cover his mouth with the palm of your hand, enjoying the way he groan in pleasure when you straddle him. god, he’s not even inside of you, but he looks fucked out. he looks he’s about to burst already.
“god, you’re so fucking desperate,” you mumble to him, leaning in closer to whisper to him despite having him muzzled with your hand. not that he’d ever hurt you, he would never even imagine it, “you’re going to fuck me stupid, okay? you’re going to fuck me until my legs go numb and i can’t feel anything but you… and only when i tell you you can, you’ll breed me, fuck your cum even deeper into me and not let any of it escape. understood?”
he breathes shakily, not responding. obviously you forgot you have your hand over his mouth. when you take it off, he nervously says, “got it. i’ll… i’ll be good. i’ll make you feel so good.”
your voice is dark, cruel, full of malicious intent, “you fucking better, or i won’t let you cum. you’ll get to fuck me, sure, but i won’t ever give you the satisfying orgasm your body is desperately aching for. you won’t get to fill me up, and all you’ll have left to fuck for your little orgasm is your hand.”
his heart aches. the idea of disappointing you makes him feel a physical pit of nervousness in his stomach, the same ones he felt when he was more like himself. he just wants to feel like himself again.
“g-got it,” he whimpers. you get off of him, and he’s got you pinned immediately, gently resting you against the ground he was previously laying on. the image of you beneath him has him breathless. he feels like he’s worshipping a god with every move he makes.
he slides his cock into you, groaning at how easy it is, how wet you are. he bottoms out almost immediately, enjoying the way your body wraps around him in almost every sense. he silently adores you. he loves that you want him, crave him just like he craves you. that underneath all of your dominance, you’re his lover too.
fuck, he’s starting to feel possessive again. he beings to thrust into you, his body moving faster than either of you can handle, but you keep your cool better than he does.
“don’t let yourself start to think you’re in control,” you murmur, leaning up to press your lips to his shoulder, baring your teeth but not hard enough to draw blood. just enough to remind him of his place, “you belong to me. not the other way around, got it?” you growl into his ear.
he can’t even respond, too enraptured by your body and the feeling of your control over him leaving him a shuddering mess.
and you can’t even deny it. he’s putting in the work, thumb playing your with your clit just like how he knows you like, and clearly he’s getting the results he’s looking for. his body comes closer to the edge sooner than he’d like, but he tries to stave it off, for your sake.
still leaning into him, you whisper in your darkest voice, “maybe i should leave you like this, so you can stay this desperate… for me. i would try and cure you, but… not sure if i really care anymore.”
he shudders, voice giving out on him as he tries to plead with you. he cums without warning, obviously his body did it without the consent and go-ahead of his conscious mind. he already looks embarrassed at cumming without your permission. you don’t really have the mind to care right now, but you remember it for.. later.
“i’m gonna cum, fuck, leon, give it to me, give in to your cravings, your desires, your needs,” you moan in his ear, desperate for him, only him, and he’s yours, he’s all yours, it’s all he’s ever been and all he’ll ever be. he keep fucking you even after cumming, keeping you filled up, pushing it deeper, “make me yours.”
and he has no choice but to comply.
#sub leon kennedy#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon s. kennedy#leon kennedy smut#sub leon kennedy smut#resident evil#leon kennedy resident evil#resident evil smut#reader insert#smut#sub!leon#re4 leon#re4r#re4#re4 remake#re4r leon
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hey guys, someone just sent me a weird ass ask claiming my incredibly close friend cherri @cherrifire secretly hate me and is talking abt me behind my back. i was not the only person to get one of these identical slanderous asks. i’ve already blocked the anon but like. open letter to them, and for the benefit of anyone else who gets an ask like this….
1) anon, you’re genuinely fucking stupid
2) hysterical to send this when i was actively chatting w her, while we were in the process of fleshing out yet another renchanting au, something we have done all day every day for… gosh, how long has it been now? nearly two years? i would say that it was really bad timing to send this ask to me while i was actively chatting aus w her but there really isn’t any moment you could have sent this that i wouldn’t have been.
3) if you thought i wasn’t gonna call bullshit and snitch immediately you don’t know shit about me or cherri, which, granted, is evident by the ask in general, but you really are stupid
4) if a gc like this existed—which it does not, bc cherri is not like this and would not do this—i would be in it. this idiot doesn’t even know im cherri’s emotional support writer. do you have any idea how many gcs and servers she’s dragged me into w her.
5) get your facts right cherri talks shit about me to my face. this is mutual. fake ass fan. if you were a real cherri friend you would know this smh
6) no, actually, you’re right, she definitely hates me. that’s why i met her irl literally like 3 months ago on her invitation, we hung out for a genuine week, spent basically the whole time arm in arm or hand in hand. this is also why we were planning a second meetup last night. you idiot. you fool. you complete and utter moron
anyway, if anyone gets this ask:
it’s complete bullshit. theyre sending this to cherri’s best friends for some godforsaken reason. it’s very weird and deeply cringe. also incredibly poorly planned. idk how many ppl you sent this to, but a few of us are in a gc and we have been making fun of this ask for like an hour (anon, im one of cherri’s friends and she’s been telling a small group of friends about you— lol. lmao even)
anyway like. to reiterate. cherri’s one of my best friends, she’s absolutely lovely and i’m lucky every day to know her. we hang out and chat constantly and we’ve met irl and it was an incredible experience i would love to repeat. i have told her things i have not fuckin told anyone else and you could not otherwise waterboard out of me. i love talking to her all the time and i miss her when she’s busy for even like, an hour. i love writing w her and creating things w her. she’s an incredibly bright spot in my life, often the first person i think of upon waking and the last i think of before i sleep. she is kind and funny and i love her a lot.
i’m a bitch tho so like @ this anon go fuck yourself. you better hope that when you die that the devil finds you before i do. sending this ask to a bunch of our friends, trying to turn the people she cares about against her, and for what? you clearly don’t know her well enough to be talking like this. trying to ruin my friend’s reputation and friendships w a vague as hell and entirely baseless copy paste is super fucking weird. why would you do this? and like, do you think we were born yesterday to fall for this? i’m insulted for her for whatever it was you were trying to pull and i’m insulted on behalf of myself and everyone else you sent this to that you think we’re as stupid as you are. what is your damage. get a hobby.
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my first ~ tom kaulitz
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background ~ love confession that leads to something else, all from Tom’s point of view.
warnings ~ no proofreading, mentions of drinking, mentions of smoking, smut, p in v, praise, oral fem receiving, breeding ig? idk tbh but it’s naughty sooooo🙉🙈 be prepared LMAO
a/n ~ heres a small blurb, writers block is going insane rn. also someone called my writing “corny” or something… like if you don’t like it, then DONT READ‼️what do u want me to say? sorry??? nah. THIS IS MY FIRST TIME EVER WRITING ANYTHING LIKE THIS BESIDES HEAD SO PLS BE NICE IDK WHAT IM DOING. I learned everything from here and wattpad so don’t blame me😓 thanks for the love too
~
I was sitting on some raggedy couch, girls practically throwing themselves at me. we had finished a concert about an hour ago, and i insisted that we partied to celebrate. I had no idea I’d be so miserable. I slowly sipped my drink, looking around. girls were saying all kinds of things to me, touching me, but they were all so incoherent. I didn’t care about them right now. I couldn’t focus on them while I was looking for her.
my eyes continued their search throughout the crowded room until they found what they were looking for. there she was. standing off to the side, drink in her hand, smile on her face. bill and I had met her right before we started our band. she had always been so close with bill. i had been so jealous of that. i wanted to be as close to her as she was with bill, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let myself. the feelings she made me feel were so unfamiliar, and they scared me. I hated not being in control, and whenever I was around her, I lost complete control over myself and my thoughts.
she looked so beautiful, tonight. of course I would never tell her that. it wasnt my place. we didn’t talk to each other like that. even though I wish we did, at least sometimes. I adored how her clothes hugged tightly to her figure and how confident she acted without being cocky. bill had invited her on tour with us. I was reluctant, I didn’t know how I would feel with her being with us all the time. but I didn’t want to be the only one to object, so I accepted.
it was always fun with her, she knew how to electrify a room and light it up instantly. i avoided time alone with her. I hoped she didn’t think I was doing it because I didn’t like her. i just got… nervous.
I watched her from the couch until her eyes connected to mine. I thought she would look away, but she didn’t. She brought her cup to her mouth and took a slow sip, her eyes never leaving mine. the lights from the party flashed in her eyes, making them sparkle as if diamonds were encrusted in them. I could stare into them all day. I couldn’t read the look on her face. I couldn’t tell how she was feeling about this; about me.
Some random girl shoved my shoulder, causing me to look over.
“Can you stop being so boring? I think i might get another drink…”, she complained and slurred , clearly drunk. I rolled my eyes and sat her on the couch, getting up as I did so. My back was turned to the party and I tried to get this hammered girl to calm down. Eventually, I was able to get her to just chill out on the couch. I turned around, wanting to see if she was still watching me. To my disappointment, she was gone. I looked around. I looked around the party some more, and again, and again.
“where the fuck did she run off to?”, i muttered to myself, slowly turning myself in a circle, trying to locate her possible location. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted her.
That’s when my eyes landed on a set of stairs that led upstairs. I walked over, randoms saying hi to me as i did. music was blaring and the room had cans and solo cups lining the floor. it reeked of bad weed and alcohol. I made my way to the top of the stairs. I came at a stop when I got to the upstairs. it was still loud, but definitely not as loud as it was downstairs. there was a single long hallway, lined with tall doors, and at the end of the hallway was a big bay window that faced the back of the house. no lights were turned on, but the moon shone brightly and dimly lit up the corridor. I saw her, sitting down on the little cushions by the window, gazing out. she didn’t know I was here with her. the moonlight danced on her skin, illuminating her so perfectly.
I walked slowly over to her. As soon as I came in her eyesight, I noticed she was a bit startled, but relaxed when she saw it was just me.
she gazed back up at the night sky, the millions of stars reflecting onto her pupils. she looked so ethereal with the moon light dancing on her skin.
“the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”, she softly asked, as she interrupted my thoughts. she looked over at me with the sweetest smile.
I wasn’t even looking at the moon, just at her.
“Very…”, I mumbled.
She smiled at me and looked back towards the window.
“What are you doing up here? I thought you were enjoying yourself.”, she said. I scoffed.
“I usually enjoy these parties, but tonight, I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it I guess.”
“Really? You had so many girls all over you… I would’ve thought that you’d be in heaven.”, she laughed. I smiled and shook my head a little.
“I don’t know what’s going on with me… I just didn’t want them like I usually would’ve.”, i shrugged.
“Is anything bothering you?”, she asked, looking genuine.
“the tom I know would never not be enjoying the fact that so many girls were all over them.”, she added.
“I don’t know… it’s just that, I’ve been dealing with some shit and I don’t know how to handle it.”
“maybe if you tell me, I can help. I know we aren’t like best friends or anything but you know I’m always here for you, right?”, she asked, looking up at me and placing her hand on my arm.
“yea, yea, I know… I think it’ll feel good to finally tell someone. I know a lot of the times I get perceived as a guy who only likes girls for things like sex and their bodies, and to be honest, it’s somewhat true. there’s just this one girl, this one girl, that I like way way way more than that, and I don’t know what to do or how to tell her.”, I vented.
“does she like you back?”
“that’s the thing… I don’t know.”
“oh, c’mon Tom, everyone likes you, im sure she does too.”, she tried to reassure me.
“you think?”
“positive. uh… sorry if this is invasive or something, but who is this girl? just curious…”, she said quickly. I cocked my head and smiled at her curiosity.
“Why do you wanna know?”, i asked.
“Um… nevermind, forget it. I don’t know why I wanted to know…”, she looked away from me.
“well i can tell you something about her…”, I started. I decided it was now or never. I had a feeling that my feelings were mutual.
“Hm?”, she said, looking back to me. I leaned down and let my mouth hover by her ear.
“she’s standing right in front of me.”, i said, just above a whisper. I could feel her tense up. I looked at her face. her eyes her wider and her mouth, slightly agape.
“what?”, was all she said. I stood up straight.
“You heard me.”, i said.
“you can’t just say that and not say anything else.”, she protested.
I shrugged.
“… are you being serious?”, she asked in a hushed tone. I looked over at her and was met with her big eyes.
“dead serious.”
“So you actually-”
“Like you? Mhm, yep, surprised me a bit too.”
She didn’t say anything and just stood there silent for a moment, processing everything I just told her.
“how does that make you feel, hm?”, I asked.
she didn’t say anything for a moment, but I watched her previous face turn into one of confidence.
“good, tom. it makes me feel good to know you feel the same way I feel about you.”
i smirked.
“you already knew that though, didn’t you?”, she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“pfft. Of course I did.”
~
I rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind us. as soon as I turned around, she was all over me. she pulled me by my neck down to kiss her, and i let her. her hands moved to the sides of my jaw, pulling me in as if I could get any closer. I pressed my hands on the small of her back, bringing her body flush against mine. my hands found a comfortable position on her hips. we kissed so much, I felt I was floating. her hands roamed my body as we did, feeling my skin where-ever she could. I used my hands to back her up against the counter. I moved them to be under her thighs, and she quickly got the memo. I hoisted her up so she was sitting on the edge of the counter. this way, it was easier to get to other places i wanted to explore.
I pulled back admired her for a second. sitting on the counter, just waiting for me to come back. I couldn’t stay away for long.
I moved my lips to her neck, leaving little soft and short kisses all over. I began to lightly suck, and as time went on, I starting going harder. she gave me the exact reaction I wanted, her little gasps and panting motivating me to do more.
I traveled from her neck, to her collarbone, then to a little lower. my hands found the bottom hem of her shirt. I looked up at her.
“can I?”
she quickly nodded and that was all I needed to see. I took her shirt off.
I felt my breath get caught in my throat. she was wearing a small lacy black bra.
“holy…”, I breathed out.
i snaked my hands around her torso and unclasped it, never breaking eye contact.
“you’re so beautiful, y’know that?”, i said huskily.
“thank you.”, she said, blushing. she looked away from my eyes as I peeled the bra off of her.
“hey, don’t be shy now. I’ve always thought you were beautiful, always wanted to tell you that. I’m glad I can now.”, i said, reassuring her. she looked back at me and smiled. I kissed her, much softer and gentler than I had been. my hands made their way to her boobs, massaging them slightly. I felt her breathing pick up a little. I kept kissing her, but I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss at her reaction. i played with her nipples between my two fingers, simply trying to get a reaction out of her. I successfully did just that, little noises escaping her throat as I continued. I pulled away.
“you like that?”
her eyes were screwed shut as she fastly nodded. I looked at her body as I kept playing with it. she was so hot. so so hot. I was so turned on, just at the sight of her.
“I wanna take care of you. Can I do that?”, I asked, my hands tracing up and down her thighs.
“please.”, she said. i smirked. her desperation made me want to pleasure her all the much more.
“I don’t do this that much, but for you, I will. you’re special.”
she opened her eyes and watched as i moved down to my knees. I used to hands to ride her skirt up, and then placed them on her knees to slowly open her legs. I loved teasing her. she was wearing light pink underwear, heavily contrasting the bra I had just taken off. There was already a little wet spot on them.
“Awwww, you’re already so excited, princess.”, i cooed, my fingers lightly brushing over the spot. she breathed in quickly at the contact. she lifted her hips and let me take her underwear off. I stuck them in my back pocket and refocused myself on the sight in front of me. I feverishly left kisses on her inner thighs while mumbling praises to her.
“so…so… pretty.”, I murmured.
I kept getting closer and closer to the place she needed me to touch her most. I could tell she was getting needy.
I ran my fingers down her slit, collecting all of the wetness that had formed. i stuck them in my mouth and watched as her mouth fell open due to my actions. i put my head back in between her legs and started licking her clit. my hands were gripping her thighs, keeping them all the way apart. she gasped and threw her head back as I kept going. I used one of my hands to put one of my fingers in her. I looked up and saw her eyebrows knit together and her nose scrunched up. her mouth was slack and so many pretty noises were leaving. her one hand gripped the edge of the counter while the other one tangled itself in my hair. after a good couple minutes, I decided to switch it up and moved my tongue down to her hole and my fingers rubbed her sweet spot. this did things for her, and I could tell how much pleasure she was receiving. she started repeating my name, over and over again. I started to pick up the pace, and her moans grew louder. I was thankful for how loud it was outside, but I also wouldn’t have cared if people could hear us.
I felt her legs tighten around my head, and then begin to shake. her chest was heaving, up and down, uo and down. she kept telling me she was close, but it was hard to hear her because she was so out of breath. I kept the pace I had, fucking her with my tongue, as she rode out her high. as she came, I made sure to lock up every last bit. she managed to open her eyes and watch me as i did.
“you’re so hot.”, she panted out, catching her breath. I stood up, now wanting to get a little pleasure for myself. I took her off the counter and spun her around so her backside was against me. I lowered my head to her ear.
“you were so good for me, love. I love seeing you come undone, can we do that a second time?”, I asked, my lips pressed to her ear.
“mhm.”, she nodded, making eye contact with me in the mirror. with that, I bent her over the counter and unzipped my pants. I pushed her entire skirt up all the way so I could get a look at her entire ass. she was bent over, waiting for me. if I was able to take a picture, I would’ve. she looked so incredibly good. I didn’t think she knew how much I had dreamed for this moment.
I ran my tip through her fold, teasing her a bit. she was already wet from her previous climax, so I didn’t need to prepare her too much. I pushed myself into her, but not the whole thing. I watched her face in the mirror. she gripped onto the counter top, and her jaw was slack once again. I let her get comfortable before pushing myself in further, all the way until i bottomed out. she moaned, letting her head fall. I waited a moment for her to get used to my size before I began to steadily move. her head was still down, facing the counter. I used my hand to grip her chin and move her face back up. I started to move a little faster.
“I want you to watch yourself.”, i said. she started to watch all the faces I was making her do in the mirror, and I was going crazy over it. my eyes kept darting between her face and then down, to see myself pound into her.
“mmm, you’re taking me so well, baby. you’re being so good for me, right now.”, I groaned out. during the whole thing, she was a moaning mess. I loved it. I loved how vocal she was about how good I was making her feel.
my arm wrapped itself around her and found her clit again, rubbing figure eights on it. I watched the pure ecstasy spread across her. I kept going all the way in, and almost all the way out before pushing my length back into her at such a fast pace, I knew she would be a mess in minutes. I knew I would be too.
And I was right. after only a small amount of time, she was having trouble keeping her head up.
“Tom! im- im so close again-“, she cried out as I didn’t let myself slow down.
“I know baby, I am too-“
I let my other hand massage her ass, slapping it a couple times too.
I wasn’t lying when I told her I was close. I had been for a while too, but I was holding out for her. I felt the knot in my stomach keep growing and growing, but I could feel it starting to become undone.
“Tom- im, im coming-“, she panted out. her boobs bounced every single time I went in and out.
“me too”, my eyes screwed shut as reached my climax. I felt her reach hers right before me, her legs shaking and a string of moans in the air. that pushed me over the edge, and I felt the knot become completely undone. I groaned as I released into her, my seed dripping out of her hole. I rode out my high for a little, but eventually stopped moving. she was catching her breath.
I pulled over and quickly cleaned myself before zipping my pants back up. I grabbed some toilet paper and cleaned her up too as she resteadied herself. i insisted on helping her get dressed again, despite her saying she could do it on her own. I put her bra and shirt back on. we kept giggling as I did. high off of life. I had wanted to keep the panties i pocketed, but she begged for them back. they were her favorite pair. she put them back on and then readjusted her skirt and hair in the mirror. I leaned against the wall, observing as she did.
“I didn’t think i would ever tell you I liked you.”, I admitted.
“why not?”, she asked, still fixing her hair.
“I think I was too nervous… you know I feel like your the first real crush I’ve ever had.”
“awww, im your first???”, she joked around.
“yes, you’re my first.”, I rolled my eyes playfully. I crossed my arms across my chest.
she turned around and hugged me, placing her head on my chest. she was smiling so big at my confession. I loved her smile. I loved everything about her.
“it’s okay tom, you were mine too.”, she said.
“Wait what?”, I hugged her back with a confused look on my face.
“I’ve liked you since I was like nine, silly. that’s why I was always so close with bill and not as much as you, I was always too like scared to be around you because I had a crush on you.”, she confessed.
“Really??? How did I not know this??”, I asked, shocked.
“I don’t know, you’re just really oblivious, I guess.”, she teased.
I laughed and looked down at her.
finally, i got what I had wanted.
her.
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hii!! ur writing has a choke hold on me!!🤯anyways, im so deprived of some comfort rn- could you maybe do something related to aftercare? For ex: Alastor comfort after a bit of degradation was taken too personally from reader :> (maybe some comfort while bandaging them up too idk)
Literally obsessed w ur shit ur like my fav hh writer, and ty for reading :3
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Of course!<3 and TYSM!! That’s so sweet<3 warnings for sexual content, fluff? (Idk what fluff is apparently from my death one shot)
Your Alastor had always liked indulging in a bit of rough and degrading play; but this time he had went to far.
He had crossed one of your boundaries he hadn’t been aware of, calling you a degrading name you weren’t okay with; and as soon as that word left his mouth, you had become stiff.
Alastor had noticed immediately.
Stilling inside you, halting all movements, Alastor could only look in your eyes as he searched for consent within, searched for anything in your expression that still said you wanted him to continue; but he could not find it.
“Is everything quite alright, darling?” His tone harshly contrasted the nasty and rough demeanour he had with you only moments ago; now giving you a loving and soft voice as he checked in on you.
Looking to the side, you avoided his gaze as the word he used on you still pang through your chest. “Don’t call me that ever again.” You had spoken more harshly than intended, with a sharp snap in your tone, verbally indicating your distressed mood.
Immediately, Alastor had pulled himself out of you, only to wrap his arms around your torso, pressing his face in the snuff of your neck as he registered you were referring the to not so pleasant name he had called you as he fucked himself inside of you. “I’m sorry, darling.” He had meant it; truly. The dousing of guilt that consumed him as you emotionally pulled away from him had him panicking ever so slightly. “It won’t happen again.”
Sighing, you knew he had meant his apology, and despite how much the word he used had hurt you, you knew he had no ill intentions when using it; he merely indulged in a bit of degradation that you also found sexually arousing.
Placing a hand against the back of his hair, you tilted your face back to his. “It’s okay love; just please don’t say that again.” You had whispered ever so softly in his hair, only to feel him shiver from your breath cascading down his neck.
“Would you like to stop?” He had mumbled against your skin, asking for your consent to continue the sexual encounter.
“Yes…”
You weren’t in the mood anymore; and as soon as your deny for consent left your lips, Alastor clicked his fingers against one another. On command, the room you both inhabited slowly changed, warping from the confines of your shared room to a familiar one filled with items of pampering; a room Alastor only brought you to after he had made love to you or fucked you.
He had always been a gentleman to you, despite his preference to be less than gentleman-like whenever he pummelled himself into your walls, he always put your pleasure and your needs before his own.
It was something you were grateful for; and one of the many reasons you loved him.
Wrapping your arms around his neck, Alastor began hoisting you up, guiding your legs to link around his naked waist as he carried you to the large, hot bath imbedded in the floor; a bath which mimicked one of a hot tub in size.
Stepping inside, his hooves clicked against the metal alloyed bathing area as the two of you began to submerge within the hot water; it’s temperature relaxing all of your muscles as it began to douse your body.
Alastor had slowly settled you down in the bath, only to take a seat beside you as he held you close, his hands stroking parts of your body as he continued to comfort you.
You believed you would fall asleep if this were to proceed.
“I am truly sorry, my love.” He had spoken with such honesty and vulnerability as he held you, apologising to you yet again, despite doing so earlier.
“It’s okay, Al.” You only responded with a soft sigh as you leaned yourself against him.
“You know I don’t mean those things during our rougher sessions, don’t you, my darling?” He had asked ever so softly and gently, attempting to approach the subject in a calm manner, one that would be proefficient in cheering you up; his beloved.
You had only mumbled a yes, nodding your head as Alastors lips began pressing themselves against your neck. “I know, love. It’s just- that word.”
“It won’t be used again,” He quickly interrupted you. “My perfect little darling, I swear it.” He said between the pecks of romantic kisses he placed against your neck.
The smile that enriched your face wasn’t missed by your lover as you allowed him to pamper you, to echo sweet words of love and loyalties into you skin, to kiss sweet gestures of love along your body.
You were blessed to have such an evil man be your darling sweetheart.
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#alastor x reader#alastor x you#hazbin alastor#alastor#hazbin hotel x reader#reader insert#x reader#hazbin hotel#alastor x reader smut#alastor smut
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