#also like if your understanding of libraries' social value begins and ends with 'has books' then we're maybe just on different pages

[thepoisonroom]

What's a little free library? And what's wrong with them lol

these guys. they're basically book drop boxes where anyone can leave or take stuff!

there's nothing inherently wrong with them but proponents sometimes make a lot of big claims about their effects on literacy and book access that aren't substantiated by evidence! they mostly occur in affluent neighborhoods rather than underresourced ones and don't really address structural causes of low literacy rates and/or the exclusion of functionally illiterate people from public life and resources. plus even in the imagined use case of, say, neighborhood members taking free books to improve their reading skills, it's not like they're generally well-supplied or -curated collections of books. like there's utility in having free book drop boxes for people to pass stuff on, i'm just a smidge skeptical about the positive impact of my neighbor's 500 chicken soup for the soul books interspersed with evangelical pamphlets. my thought with them is that they're often more of a vanity project that lets people pat themselves on the back without taking any substantive action to affect positive change in their communities.

also, like, cases of LFLs being policed to prevent "theft" (see earlier rb) raise a lot of questions about who LFL builders consider to be the proper users of purported community resources. i would bet an arm and a leg that the people crying theft in their LFLs don't like seeing unhoused people and/or people of color in their neighborhoods using the LFLs? like bro if it's free then what do you mean when you say you're having a problem with theft make it make sense! just contribute that time and energy to your local public lib or school district, which is likely vastly more equipped with the expertise, infrastructure, and community relationships necessary to effect positive change on literacy access in an underresourced community

[shroomcult]

@soulxmakaweek

Day 4: Apologize

I fell way behind with Soma week because I got slammed with work and this monster of a fic took me too long to write.

Summary: 

Maka comes to realize that Soul had never felt fully comfortable around Crona, and in ignoring this entirely - she unknowingly hurt her closest friend.

Special thanks to Tori @chichirichick (she betas all of my dumpster fires, bless her) for proofreading this mess of emotions and also to Zi @azroazizah for coming up with the concept for this fic. 

**Disclaimer** This story is not about putting blame on Crona, but instead about acknowledging the fact that Soul went through trauma due to their actions and it was never taken into consideration by Maka before inviting them into their friend group. I'm not saying Crona didn't deserve support, but it's also completely valid for Soul - a victim of Crona - to not feel entirely safe around them regardless of their tragic background and circumstances. If Crona is a big comfort character for you and you feel you would likely be upset by this concept, then I recommend not reading it altogether. We all interpret things different and we're all entitled to our own opinions, and I'm not going to get in arguments with people over this.

It’d been a while since the Spartoi team was all together again.

After the fall of Asura, they really had no purpose to join forces as a team. No big baddie to unite them in ass-kickery. 

The skies were blue again. There were still Kishin eggs to take down, and a shaky new diplomatic relationship with the witches to maintain as well. 

Things were more or less … normal. Boring, even.

The only big difference Blackstar could discern was that nobody seemed to have time to just hang out and be friends anymore.

Kid was over his head with his new responsibilities, and while he was doing an admirable job filling his father’s shoes; there was a steep learning curve and his perfectionist tendencies only made it more challenging to overcome. He upheld a calm and collected demeanor in the public’s eyes, but Liz and Patty spent most of their time holding him together behind the scenes. 

Soul and Maka were a different situation entirely.

It was odd enough to adjust to the recent change in the nature of their relationship. They claimed to be the same as they’ve always been - just Soul & Maka. Only, they grew much closer after the hardships they had endured both in the book of Eibon and on the moon.

They had been close to begin with, but this was a different kind of close. Stolen glances, hands reaching for each other when they thought nobody was looking. Blushing for almost no damn reason. 

Something was going on between them - he could be sure of that.

More recently, however, Maka had been particularly obsessive about solving the dilemma of Crona’s entrapment on the moon. She was driving herself to a slow-burning insanity, considering every moment that she hadn’t rescued them yet to be a personal failure.

She’d been spending much of her time in the restricted section of the library, consuming every piece of relevant research for hours on end. Soul often stayed up there with her doing the same, or at the very least keeping her silent company when he was too burnt out to read anymore.

He’d also spent much of his extra time with Stein, training to perfect his sound-wave abilities into his own form of wavelength attack.

He’d been giving his all ever since making deathscythe status to hone his strength and better serve Maka. He’d even been able to hold his own for a surprising amount of time in the sparring ring against Blackstar, and that was a feat in and of itself.

All of the focus on Crona’s rescue had appeared to be wearing on him, though. 

Soul may have accepted Crona into his friend group for Maka’s sake, even empathized with them - but he had never fully trusted the demon sword meister. Although Soul was outwardly friendly towards them, Blackstar noticed the way his friend had watched them like a hawk before they turned back to Medusa. He was always ready for a scenario like that because he had never felt entirely safe around them to begin with.

Not that Maka had bothered to even take Soul’s feelings into consideration before forgiving Crona on his behalf.

She couldn’t have possibly been that dense. She had to have been actively ignoring the signs of Soul’s discomfort because she couldn’t handle acknowledging them.

And now she was doing the same thing all over again even with Crona as far away as the moon. It was obvious that Soul was doing what he always did - shoving his own feelings aside in favor of Maka’s. The loyal mutt of a boy valued her wellbeing far above his own, that was for certain.

He just seemed so exhausted of it all now. Searching tirelessly with Maka for a solution that may not even exist took up much of his time and energy.  

He never had the time to shoot hoops or play video games like he used to, and Blackstar was far above begging for his attention. He stopped even bothering to ask him.

Just for one night though, by some divine luck - everybody was willing to clear their schedule to have a late night dinner at the most beloved and heart-attack inducing burger joint in town. 

Every member of Spartoi was crammed into the largest booth in the restaurant and their chatter was loud enough to fill the whole section. 

There were multiple conversations happening at a time, but Blackstar was zeroing in on Soul who had his chin resting on his palm and that stupid, dopey look he got on his face when he was proud of Maka. Yuck. Keep it in your pants, loverboy.

Maka was next to Soul, his arm stretched out behind her on the booth, while Ox engaged her in a fiery debate over god knows what across the table from her. Judging by the redness in baldy’s face - Maka was on the winning side. He really couldn’t understand Soul’s hard-on for a bossy know-it-all personality, but whatever floats his boat he supposed.  

He decided he’d seen enough of that look on his best friend’s face and crumpled up a straw wrapper, dipping it in his soda and sticking it at the end of his straw.

He blew on the other end, sending the sticky wad of paper flying across the table. The projectile hit its target directly on the cheek.

“Fuck’s sake dude, how old are you?” he grumbled, reaching over the table to grab a handful of napkins to clean his face off with.

Maka snatched some of his napkins for herself, rubbing it vigorously into the flecks of cola that stained her uniform. “You got my shirt all wet, idiot.”

Blackstar simply threw his head back to cackle obnoxiously. “I just thought I should break up your lame little debate team fight before Ox over here pops a blood vessel. You know he can’t handle losing well.”

“I wasn’t losing!” Ox hissed under his breath.

Maka only met her opponent’s glare with a shit-eating grin.

“Hey, Maka! What had you stopped to talk with Professor Stein about earlier today?” Tsubaki cut in, obviously attempting to diffuse another argument between the two competitive brainiacs.

Maka’s expression relaxed into something a little more neutral, seemingly caught off guard by the question. Debate-mode successfully disarmed.

“Oh. Well… I just had some questions about my black blood research for him.” 

Blackstar didn’t miss the way Soul tensed up beside her at the mention of black blood. His face was void of any distinct emotion, but something was off in his body language. The way his shoulders squared as if he were instinctively bristling.

Anyone with a shred of social awareness could have deduced that black blood, Medusa, and Crona were not Soul’s favorite topics. It wasn’t unusual for him to shut down and discontinue any contributions to a conversation when any of these things were brought up. 

Unfortunately for Soul, all of those subjects were constantly on Maka’s mind since she began her obsessive pursuit for a solution to Crona’s ordeal.

“Oh? And what did he have to say?” Tsubaki pressed, completely oblivious to the tense situation she was potentially triggering.

“As you’re already aware, there’s not really any official research on the black blood that exists. We’ve been digging through countless books - gathering as much information about madness and Kishins as we can, but it can only get us so far. It would be so much more useful if we could get our hands on a physical sample of the substance itself.”

Soul’s eyes widened in concern, but only for a second before he slipped his usual poker face back on. His Adam’s apple bobbed nervously despite the veneer of calm he displayed.

“Anyways,” she continued, turning to look at Soul, “I was going to talk to you about this later, but maybe some of the black blood still remains in your system? I know we believed it was all gone, but surely there’s some residual amount of it lingering behind? Something we could maybe isolate, extract and create a concentrate of? Stein said it was unlikely, but technically possible. We have to try for Crona, right, Soul?”

He was no longer wearing his mask of apathy. Unmistakeable, visible discomfort was etched into his facial features and he was clenching his hands, knuckles whitening from the pressure. Everyone at the table was hushed and the tension was palpable.

“He doesn’t have to try anything,” Kid’s voice cut sharply through the silence, golden eyes flashing sternly at her.

A soft gasp escaped her and her eyebrows shot up, clearly taken-aback by the sudden burst of hostility from her boss and close friend. Her eyes darkened seconds later, determination setting in.

 “I think that’s his decision to make, and I’d like to hear what he has to say,” she turned her attention back to Soul, hope still shining in her eyes.

He fidgeted with his necktie, loosening it and clearing his throat. “Yeah, s’fine. Whatever you need, I guess.”

Maka’s face lit up into a bright smile that turned Blackstar’s stomach and she pulled Soul into a brief hug. “I knew we could count on you, Soul! You’re the best partner ever.”

“Whatever, it’s no problem. Just try not to drain me of all my blood, alright?” he chuckled weakly, avoiding her eyes in favor of staring a hole in the middle of the table.

She gave an easygoing laugh in response, and went back to conversing with Tsubaki as if she hadn’t just pressured her partner into volunteering himself as a guinea pig for the sake of someone who had literally sliced him open from shoulder to hip and infected him with black blood to begin with.

Is she fucking serious?

Blackstar was practically vibrating with fury from the interaction he’d just watched, and Tsubaki’s normally soothing hand on his shoulder did little to calm him down. When he glanced at Kid, he instantly knew the death god had shared his frustration with Maka’s obliviousness. 

It wasn’t long before Soul abruptly stood from his place at the end of the booth, pulling a twenty out of his wallet and placing it on the table in front of him.

“Soul? What are you doing? The food hasn’t even gotten here yet,” Maka blinked at him in confusion.

“I’m not feelin’ too great - gonna head out, sorry guys. Could you just bring my food back in a to-go box?” he said with an apologetic quirk of his lips. He squeezed her shoulder gently before turning on his heels and making his way out of the diner in long strides.

Why does she look so shocked? Does she really not understand that she’s been hurting him?

After that, the night passed by in a haze for Blackstar. He hardly spoke for the rest of the meal due to the fact that he was using all of his mental capacity to keep his impulse to stand up and loudly call his friend out in front of everybody in check. 

The only thing truly stopping him was the knowledge that Soul would likely be embarrassed and more than a little pissed off if he’d made a big scene over something that he wasn’t even willing to talk about.  

So he waited - held his tongue until he could lash out in private.

As everyone was saying their goodbyes, Blackstar watched her rise from her seat gathering her to-go boxes carefully and giving him a nod of acknowledgement before she headed out.

His eyes bore into the back of her head as she left, and Tsubaki’s hand clamped gently on him for the second time that night. Her eyes were crinkled with a gentle concern.

“I think you should leave this between them. If Soul wanted all of this out in the open, he would have had that conversation with her himself.”

A heavy sigh settled in his chest, “You know how he is. He’s the suffer in silence type and he always does her bidding. If nobody says anything, then nothing’ll change. I just want to talk to her - not like I’m gonna beat her ass or anything … unless she gives me a reason to.” 

“Blackstar,” she chided, fully aware that he would make good on that threat.

“I know, I know. I won’t be long, see ya at home,” he said, throwing up placating hands before stuffing them in his pockets and striding in the direction Maka had gone. 

            _______________________________________________

Maka set her walk home at a leisurely pace, dragging her feet slightly as she watched the sunset bleed into the sky above.

It wasn’t that she was trying to prolong seeing Soul, or that she wasn’t worried about the way he’d acted back in the diner - like something was eating at him. 

She was pretty positive that he wasn’t physically ill, which only left the option of it being an emotional issue. 

And getting Soul to talk about emotional issues was like trying to pull teeth from a temperamental bear. 

She had to figure out a way to go about this delicately, and she had to figure it out soon because their apartment block was fast approaching.

She stopped in her tracks when she felt the presence of a familiar soul behind her. His steps had been so quiet, she wouldn’t have even been aware he was stalking her from behind if it weren’t for her exceptional soul perception abilities.

“I know you’re following me, Blackstar.”

In moments, he was stepping out in front of her. “Wasn’t trying to hide. I need to talk to you,” his voice was uncharacteristically stern.

She wasn’t stupid. She knew Blackstar had some kind of problem with her since dinner. He was deathly quiet and glowering at her for most of the night; very unusual behavior from someone who never shuts up or hesitates to start a fight. 

“Okay, I’m listening,” she said, already preparing to defend herself against whatever absurd argument he wanted to pull her into.

“The whole situation with Crona - have you ever once thought about how Soul feels about it?”

Whatever she had been expecting to come out of his mouth - that wasn’t it.

“What? I mean, I know how Soul feels. He wants Crona to be safe, just like I do. What are you trying to get at?”

“I’m not talking about what he thinks about Crona being stuck in the deathdamned moon, Maka! I mean have you ever thought about how he felt when you forced Crona into his life to begin with? After being sliced open?” 

Maka’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline and her mouth opened and closed a few times, baffled by the question. 

“Soul understands why I welcomed Crona as a friend. He trusts me,” she answered, hoping her voice conveyed the confidence that she couldn’t find in this moment.

This entire conversation was throwing her off.

“Yeah, okay. He accepted your decision because he trusts you, or loves you or whatever the fuck. We all know that - but that doesn’t mean he was comfortable with it. It doesn’t mean he felt safe. He just stuffed his own feelings down, because he knew it made it easier for you.”

Her throat tightened as her own conflicting emotions overcame her. He had no idea what he was talking about. Soul was fine. He’s always been fine. 

“Did he say that to you? That he didn’t feel safe?” she choked out. 

“Soul? You think he tells people things? About his feelings?” he snorted. “No, he doesn’t have to tell me shit. It’s clear on his face every time you mention Crona, or Medusa, or that fucking blood.”

“Maybe you’re just making assumptions about how he feels!” she shouted back, gripping handfuls of the front of his shirt.

He leaned in, completely unfazed by the rage burning in her eyes. “You ever noticed how when Crona was around, he was always watching them out of the corner of his eye - twitching every time they made some sudden move. You ever noticed how quiet and withdrawn he’d get around them? Or any time they were brought up? You didn’t - because you didn’t want to.” 

“Shut up! Y-you’re making something out of nothing. Are you trying to tell me that I should just give up and forget about Crona? That they don’t deserve to have a friend?” 

Some of his aggression was fizzling out as he released a heavy sigh, placing his hands calmly over hers, still clenching in his shirt. “I’m not trying to say that you shouldn’t have helped Crona, or that you shouldn’t keep trying to help them now. I’m only telling you that even if Soul has forgiven and moved on - he’s still a victim of Crona’s actions. He suffered trauma from that, even if he’s too fucking stubborn to admit it. Just acknowledge that maybe he needs a break from thinking about them - all of that shit that happened - every now and then. Get your head out of Crona’s ass long enough to check if he’s okay too.”

She stumbled over wordless sounds as her hands went limp and released their vice-grip on his clothing. She was trying desperately to think of a way to refute the awful things he was saying, but Blackstar wouldn’t give her the chance. 

“If you gave him even half the thought you gave to Crona - maybe you would have noticed it like everybody else has. I just want you to think about it for a bit, that’s all,” his voice softened towards the end, shoulders sagging slightly as he turned away, leaving her to deal with the aftermath of his confrontation.

The heat of tears prickled behind her eyelids and she clenched her fists tightly to her sides. 

She wanted so badly to swing around and scream at Blackstar’s retreating figure that he was wrong, that he had no idea what he was talking about and of course she thinks about her weapon.

But the longer she allowed his harsh words to sink in; the more she could feel the sting of truth settling into her heart.

Had she really been so blind? 

             _______________________________________________

Soul had been laying on his back in bed, hands resting on his stomach and eyes pointed at the ceiling, unmoving for some time. He wasn’t entirely sure how many hours, but he knew his playlist had ended long ago - no music played from the earbuds that were still jammed in his ears.

He couldn’t explain the heaviness in his heart. The anxiety that often set in whenever Maka mentioned Crona or the black blood. It was all water under the bridge, wasn’t it? There was no point in allowing himself to wallow in all the negative emotions that punched him in the gut at the mention of their name. It was selfish to feel those things - it was his job to give Maka his full support. His own feelings were irrelevant.

It was just harder on this particular night. Sure, she droned on about those sore subjects often. Their research revolved around it anyways. He’d just hoped that it could have been different just for one night.

He’d secretly been ecstatic when Maka begrudgingly agreed to shelve her research just long enough to get a late dinner with all of their friends. A break had been long overdue. 

Things had been different between them, after all. They’d been sharing a bed, and they’d even shared a few kisses in the small, rare moments that they’d spent alone together - focused only on each other. They were chaste kisses, but he’d greedily take whatever he could get. 

As she became more frantic about her lack of results in helping Crona, he may as well have not even existed to her. 

He’d just needed that one dinner to pretend things were normal, to pretend as though he was on a date with her and she was willing to spend time with him and think about literally anything aside from her latest fixations. Instead, she’d asked him to play part in some unsound experiment - to prod for things that he hadn’t wanted to find again. It had only been made more uncomfortable by the scrutinizing presence of all of their friends. 

He’d felt used.

Soul perked up at the familiar sound of the front door creaking open and slamming shut. He was immediately ashamed of the pavlovian response he had to the sound of his meister returning - the little flip in his heart that made him feel like a stupid dog wagging its tail at the sound of its master.

Just keep to yourself. She doesn’t need to interact with you in this useless state of self pity. You don’t deserve her comfort.

Self-loathing curled in his gut and he kept his eyes stubbornly trained on a water stain in the ceiling.

Suddenly, light flooded into his dark room as his door was hesitantly opened. He reflexively brought himself to sit up on his elbows only to meet a teary-eyed Maka.

All self-indulgent angsty thoughts instantly evaporated from his head, and he was ripping his earbuds out and swinging his legs over the side of the bed to get up.

She made purposeful steps across his room, throwing her arms around his neck and forcing him back onto the bed with the motion.

“I’m so sorry, Soul,” she warbled mournfully into his sweater. 

“Huh? Sorry ‘bout what? What’s going on, Maka?” he tried to nudge her into looking up at him, but she adamantly refused.

She took a few shallow breaths before rubbing her wet cheek against the quickly-dampening fabric and looking up at him with dewy eyes.

“I haven’t been a good friend to you - have I? 

Was that a trick question?

“I-I don’t get what we’re talkin’ about here,” he stuttered uselessly, attempting to compensate for his lack of eloquence by brushing his fingers comfortingly through her soft hair.

“I never asked if you felt okay with Crona being around you. I never asked you if you forgave them at all - I just brought them into your space, your home. I just wanted them to have a chance at a normal life so badly - I ignored your pain, and I’m so sorry,” she rushed her confession out like it had been a breath she was holding in.

He had to fight the urge to bark out a laugh. It wasn’t that he found anything that she said humorous - it was just so strange that she was addressing this out of the blue. She’d seemed completely unaware as usual back at the diner, where had this even come from?

He was so lost in thought, he’d almost forgotten to respond and instantly regretted the prolonged silence he’d left her in. “Maka, it’s fine,” he insisted, “I get why you forgave Crona. I admire you for it.”

“But that doesn’t mean you were okay. I should have at least checked on you, or asked you about how you felt - or literally anything,’ she mumbled numbly from his chest.

“Hey. Look at me,” he said, lifting her cheek from its resting place against his sweater, “Sure, I didn’t feel the most comfortable around Crona. I think it was pretty awkward for both of us to be near each other. That doesn’t mean I dislike them, or didn’t want you to be their friend. You can’t beat yourself up over something I hadn’t bothered to tell you.”

His words hadn’t brought the comfort that he’d hoped they would, and her brows remained stubbornly crinkled. “If it had been me - if I was the one who’d been cut by that sword, would you still say that you don’t dislike them? That you’re okay with us being friends?”

It was a question that he instantly knew the answer to, but he was reluctant to say it out loud. He finally caved, bringing his eyes back to hers, “No. I wouldn’t have been able to forgive them if it was you.”

She closed her eyes tightly, nodding her head in grim acceptance of that truth. She had likely known that would be his answer already, but hearing it must have been difficult.

“But I love that about you. You have so much compassion. I only care for the few people that I’ve decided I love - I don’t have room in my heart for others like you do. I’d like to be more like you,” he whispered reverently, taking her cheeks in both of his hands and briskly wiping away all of the moisture he could reach with his thumbs.

“I should’ve had more compassion for you,” she lamented softly under her breath, eyes downcast.

“You’re not a fuckin’ mind reader, Maks. It was my choice not to bring anything up.”

She nodded slowly, but the way her grip tightened on him only confirmed his suspicion that she wasn’t going to forgive herself for it.

Minutes passed before a word was spoken, but Soul eventually cleared his throat. “You know, I don’t expect you to ever stop being friends with Crona, or to give up on rescuing them. I don’t want that. I don’t mind helping you like you’d asked earlier tonight, too. If that’s what you need from me, then I’m here.”

She brought herself to her elbows on top of him to get a better view of his face.

“I know. I’m not going to give up on them. But It matters to me that you’re happy too, and if that means you need a break from all that, then I want you to know that it’s okay to ask for that.”

“Right, I’ll keep that in mind,” he said in a hushed tone, distracting himself with a piece of her hair twirled between his fingers.

“And I don’t want to use your blood for research. It was wrong of me to even think of asking you that. We’ll find another way,” she assured him, voice tightening with emotion, “I definitely got carried away with all of this. It wasn’t healthy, and I really am sorry I’ve pushed you away in the process. We can’t solve this thing if we don’t have time to properly take care of ourselves. You’ve been working so hard with me, and I think we need more actual quality time together.”

“Yeah, I could get on board with that. I kinda walked out on dinner tonight, so how about we do something - just you and me tomorrow? Movies sound good?”

“Movies sounds great,” she hummed in agreement, hands idly playing with his hair.

As much as he would have preferred for her to continue her ministrations, he stopped her movements to grasp her hand, bringing it to his chest to rest above where she knew his scar was. He pressed down on her hand lightly.

“I’m glad it happened. I’m glad they gutted me, ‘cause I hadn’t understood what you meant to me till that moment,” he muttered, pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head.

She only exhaled shakily, hand tightening against the evidence of his devotion.

“I just hate that it took a lecture from Blackstar of all people for me to realize that I’d been hurting you.”

His eyes widened a little at that new piece of information. Blackstar was the one that brought all of this on her mind? He could’ve sworn it would have been Kid if anyone. He couldn’t help but feel a little touched that Blackstar had been so concerned about him, but he was also somewhat irritated that his friend had distressed Maka as much as he had.

“Blackstar, huh? Remind me to have a conversation with him about mindin’ his own business,” he laughed half-heartedly.

“No, don’t. I’m glad that he said what he did - I needed to hear it,” she urged him.

“Doesn’t matter. He didn’t have to make my girlfriend cry from guilt over bein’ friends with someone,” he muttered, but his face immediately burned a bright red as soon as he’d caught what he’d called her.

She was a similar shade, holding her breath as well as his gaze with a tortuously difficult to decipher expression on her face.

“That is, uh- I mean… fuck.”  

Very articulate. Great job, Soul.

He hadn’t needed to agonize over whether or not he’d just fucked everything between them for long because her face soon melted into a warm, genuine smile.

“Girlfriend, huh?” she said with a glimmer of mischief in her eye.

“I’d like that. If that’s w-what you want,” he wanted to kick himself for the voice crack he just experienced. Not cool in the slightest. 

At least she got a good giggle out of it. The melodic sound squeezed something in his chest and he swallowed nervously as a response.

She brushed back his bangs, leaning in to place a soft kiss to his forehead. She peppered a trail of kisses down his cheek until she reached his lips. 

This kiss was far from chaste. She cradled his cheek and jaw as she slanted her mouth sweetly over his, pressing fervently, constantly moving against him and eliciting a breathy moan from him that he would never admit to making. 

When she tried to separate, he followed her, bumping noses for a moment and giving the corner of her mouth a few more enthusiastic pecks before backing up and allowing her room to look at his face. 

“Girlfriend sounds nice, actually,” she smiled broadly, letting her fingers brush against the back of his neck.

“Glad that’s settled, then,” he laughed easily, not even bothering to feel any embarrassment over the flush of his skin or the lightness of his breath.

He crushed her to his chest, and they stayed like that for a while, just listening to the other’s loudly beating hearts until they were lulled to sleep. 

He’d have to thank Blackstar with a game of basketball later.

[quitethepirategal]

An Analysis in Threes

❥ TAGGED BY: @emcads​ like 30 years ago ❥ TAGGING: @riidcr​ @starsailingcaptain​ @covencrown​ @hookd​ @all-fleshed-out​ @evermxre​ @motherofredemption​ @bup1957​ @conquistadoradelmar​ @seaprofound​ @tcthinecwnself​ @withinycu​ @windguided​ @daevilhorns​ @concordia-cum-sinistro​ and YOU and I spent like 8 hours on this so pLEASE READ IT PLEASE I AM BEGGING I NEED VALIDATION I’M-

     repost don’t reblog. yall dont have to type this much.

MUSE: Captain Red Handed Jessica

Three Strengths:

     Her adaptability and resourcefulness.  Is she brave, yes.  Is she lucky, also yes.   But over all, she can roll with the cards she’s been dealt in a way that many would call inhumanly clever.  Her intelligence, her perception, and her charisma are all different ingredients of this indomitable characteristic of hers.  She can see the value in just about anything and anyone, can pick up on clues and tangents few others can follow, and can remember seemingly endless details, tho unfortunately not on command.  But even then, her patchy memory seems to contribute to this adaptability as well, as it usually allows for detachment.  If she can find resources everywhere, it means she can survive everywhere. There have been countless times where the wheel of fortune has suddenly turned on her and she’d lost near everything and her response was more or less Damn, ok I need food water and shelter lets go.  No food?  Grow food.  No water?  Ask someone if they have water.  No shelter?  Sleep outside.  No money?  Steal money.  Can’t hear anymore?  Cool I can use loud weapons.  Crashed on an island?  My island now.  Shot?  Free bullet.  She knows when to push, she knows when to quit, and sometimes she knows when to gamble based on her ability ( what a man can do and what he can’t do and all that ).  Strong she may be, she knows its foolish to rely on strength.  Survival of the fittest actually rarely means survival of the strongest. ( edit; this is the theme for the entirety of her character. I will say it 50,000 times. I am very sorry ).  And as a student of philosophy and biology, she understands that phrase better than most. Leading to our next point.

     Her understanding.  As I stated, her charisma is something unmatched, and is a key element in all three of her strengths.  This charisma might not exist as prominently were it not for her ability to understand.  She has limited ( I’ll get back to that ) but deep running empathy and while not terribly observant all the time, she is always perceptive.  Not only that, but she’s personally known abuse, hardship, and uncertainty, and understands that hate or anger can be rooted in similar pain.  She was schooled lightly in both Christian and Buddhist values before diving heavily into democratic philosophy, meaning she believes all being experience suffering and therefore kindness is a powerful sign of strength, but also that suffering while free and equal is better than comfort in oppression.  And between her sweet words and beautiful face, she can get most people to open up in ways they themselves my not have expected.  Being very good with people means she can learn from them, gain something from them, lead them, and/or use them.  But Jessica isn’t a manipulator in truth; her intentions are almost always kind or healthy ones.  She absolutely uses people from time to time but not EVER without them consenting to or being made aware of such because again, unlike a manipulative person, she understands that can ruin a relationship and therefore ruin a resource.  What it makes for is an excellent leader, a beloved captain, and a trusted ally at most and an excellent conversationalist at the least.      But her understanding isn’t just social, oh no.  It’s academic as well.  Armed only with his little library and the lessons of his own teachers, Jessica’s foster father tirelessly smithed her into a not just a girl who knew a lot of things, but a truly intelligent, thinking mind. He’d die before learning he’d succeeded tenfold.  Jessica isn’t one to just except things as they are, facts or otherwise.  She usually needs to prove it, experiment, see things from a new angle.  Debates with her are fun!  She has no issue admitting she’s wrong or confessing she’s never thought of it that way, and is actually wrong a lot of the time.  It doesn’t bruise her ego, it excites her.  It means there’s more to learn.  And her ability to constantly understand new concepts paired with her ability to overwhelmingly understand people combine to make for a very powerful core idea of hers:  We are fittest to survive because we all fit together.  Our humanity, our empathy, our community are our strengths because they keep us united, which keeps us the fittest.  No one is independent, no man is an island.  People are power. And thus her final strength is just that.

     Her power.  While she and I still firmly state that strength isn’t everything don’t be disillusioned; its very goddamn important.  And it’s something Jessica has plenty of.  She is durable and clever because of her rocky early childhood, she is quick and versatile from her youth in a pirate port, she is physically strong and mighty from her years training in martial arts, and she’s an absolute crackshot after years of diligent practice with her trusty pistols.  Her true strength may lie in her brains and in her allies yes, but even without them, Red Jessica is a powerhouse of a warrior.  She can end fights extremely quickly or run from them without a prayer of catching her ( no shame in the later, both skills keep you alive ).  And it may be in bad taste to say, but ever since loosing most of her hearing, Jess swears up and down it’s made her vision better, her reaction time faster, and her quick thinking even quicker.  Yes of course she’s slowed down with age, but a bullet shoots at the same speed no matter how old you are.  And you best hope she didn’t bring her firecrackers, because while sudden loud noises will absolutely temporarily discombobulate or debilitate an opponent with healthy hearing, it’ll hardly effect her at all and suddenly, you’re a sitting duck.  You see those thighs?  You see those calves?  She can crush PINEAPPLES with them!  People have seen her do it!  Do you know how many micro-fractures broke and rebuilt those hands?  Thousands!  She can crush a trachea like a fucking beer can!  She can kick you to death!  One ill placed curb stomp and you are DECEASED.  Sometimes she’ll just psyche you out because she KNOWS you know she can kill your stupid ass!       But while her strength, mental and physical, have always been there, her power is relatively new.  As stated before, people are power.  Not knowledge, not money, not strength.  People.  She’s a fearsome warrior but she’d be useless if outnumbered.  Shes a very successful pirate, but she’d never make it out of port without a crew on her ship.  She found a gorgeous island, but it’d still be wild without those who built it’s piers and buildings.  She manages orchards and tends to them and harvests them herself, but she would loose all of her crop without the helping hands of her employed farmers.  And like I mentioned, she deeply understands this.  Freedom is not independence or vice versa.  Did you make the clothes on your back or the fabric that made those clothes?  Did you write the books you read to make you smarter or teach you that skill?  Did you plant the seed years ago that grew that orange you’re eating?  No, of course not.  Jessica didn’t either.  Another human did.  We all need each other to fill the holes in our lives that we can’t fill ourselves.  Humans are puzzle pieces in that way, there is no bigger picture or prayer for survival on our own.  And because of this, we can do anything we as a community, as a SPECIES work together to achieve.  There is no knowledge if there’s no one to learn from, there is no money if a society don’t give it value, your money is worthless if those you’re paying decide to rise against you, your role as leader only exists at the consent of those you lead, and your strength won’t save you from a sinking ship.  People are, and always will be, power.       And as someone who is exceptionally strong and exceedingly smart, Jessica has slotted herself in the humanity puzzle thusly: The strong exist to protect the weak, the smart exist to educate, and the lucky exist so the unlucky may be given aid.  And it is with this fairness and compassion that she has won the trust of so many.  She has a great many friends and allies even outside of those in her crew or on her island.  And she can make many more with ease.  That kind of power is not a power to be trifled with, even if she can kick your ass six ways to Saturday without it. 

Three Weaknesses:

     She suffers ADHD.  Now before ANY OF Y’ALL SAY ANYTHING, I myself also suffer ADHD.  And yes I do say suffer because well that’s what it causes for Jessica and I, suffering.  Yes, it is ableist language to say ‘suffering from’ rather than ‘has’ or ‘is diagnosed with’ and yes it perpetuates a stigma against us but god DAMN IT in both Jessica’s case and mine, it make life much much harder than it needs to be.  At the end of the day, Red Jessica is a fantasy of mine; I pour myself into her whether I mean to or not.  She’s the adult I wish I was, the person I might be if I had no anxiety, or brainfog, or lived in a world were I didn’t need a credit score or a degree. And even then, I can’t say I know anyone else’s problems better than my own.  So if my character has problems, by sheer osmosis they are going to reflect some of mine.  Both of the characters I write have ADHD because I have ADHD and I couldn’t even begin to know how a non-ADHD mind works to write it properly.  And no, I’m not being dramatic when I say it causes me suffering.  I can’t drive, I can’t hold down a job, I nearly flunked out of school, I still cant read very fast or spell very well, I am constantly overwhelmed by mundane things, I’m a slow learner, I forget very important things or recent things, I forget about things that mean the world to me, I forget about people, I stumble through tasks, I procrastinate hobbies and basic hygiene, and everything I do takes all goddamn day and I can only really do one important thing at a time and in order of importance.  If I have a date at 4pm, I’m dressed and ready at 11am because I’ve gotta do the important thing first or else I will forget to do the important thing.  I started typing this at a little before 5pm.  It’s 7;30.  It’ll probably be 10 o’clock at night by the time I fucking finish ( edit: l m a o its 1am bitch you thought ).  I’m 26 and am just medicated enough to barely function.  So yeah.  Suffering is the word.       Though for Jessica, perhaps suffering is a tad strong of a word.  Her ADHD affects her ability to function in far less debilitating ways ( though whether that’s a result of a less severe diagnosis than me or the result of the society, situations, and responsibilities she functions in and around are far different from mine, who’s to say ).  For her, she has very consuming hyperfixations that can last anywhere between weeks to decades, a spotty memory that is detail and memento oriented,  she’s scatterbrained more often then not but can focus with amazing clarity on her interests or in high adrenaline situations, is is ABYSMALLY bad at math and EXCRUCIATINGLY bad with numbers ( as opposed to me, who is good at numbers but shit at spelling or reading ), she can forget anything no matter how important it is to her or to anyone, she’s bad with names and dates, is COMPLETELY time-blind, has trouble prioritizing, and of course, wile not actually that materialistic, she absolutely has the ol’ magpie instinct.       While her poor memory assists in her adaptability and ability to move on, it also means she forgets things she needed to remember, like when the last time she bathed was and who this person is and what happened between her and someone else or what conversation’s shes had.  Unfortunately this means she’s a very good friend and leader... while you’re around and interacting with her on at least a weekly basis.  It’s almost a lack of object permanence in both a social and very real sense.  If something is not right in front of her, odds are she’s not going to think about it.  And while its something she constantly kicks herself for and actively tries to be better about, it applies to people too.  Face to face is the best way to interact with her; she won’t think to write you and in her modern verse she won’t think to ever call and she’ll text you back in perhaps a few days.  She doesn’t value you any less, I promise.  She’s just either distracted or overwhelmed.  Also, for someone as understanding as her, she is surprisingly self-centered.  Not selfish, self-centered.  She’ll talk about herself more than she should, and will assume people understand that she’s doing so as a form of showing empathy rather than bragging when they may not know this at all.  Actually she accidentally assumes all the time.  It was far worse when her hearing was functional; she’d finish your sentence for you or guess what it was you were going to say ( again, not to talk over, you but to show she understands you and the conversation, tho it usually came of as annoying or patronizing ).  Sometimes she mistakenly assumes you believe or know the same things she does without even realizing it.  Maybe she perceives the right idea off of someone but isn’t observant enough to notice anything past that.  And while she is willing to change her mind about things, she might change her mind a tad too quickly.  She’s an over-sharer and is horrible at keeping any kind of secret.  Romantic relationships tend to fizzle out. Her impulse control is improving but has a VERY long way to go. She’s always chasing something new.       All and all, when you’re a pirate, a librarian, or even a captain, all of these things may be irritating and inconvenient, but are overall manageable in chunks.  ...But as a governor to her island, as a leader of an entire population... oof. In the position of leadership that she’s in, she can’t afford to make too many massive mistakes, and she knows this.  ‘There is no power quite like the power of being underestimated’ is a phase you’ll hear her say a lot but for her, there is a shift in connotation.  If people expect less and you do more that’s a great upper hand in any situation but for her, it was a safety net.  Having ADHD sometimes means going months or years being fine and then eventually you fuck up and everyone around you wonders how in the world you managed to do that.  She has only barely avoided disaster more times than she’d like to admit.  Even with the resourcefulness, the understanding, and the power she wields, she’s finally starting to realize that she’s bit off more than she might be able to chew, with the entire well-beings and livelihoods of others on the line.  And she fears that one day she’ll play her cards wrong and everything she’d built, everything she’s done, will all come crashing down in ruin.

     She is Hard of Hearing.  This one is literally as simple as it sounds: she has moderate and degenerative hearing loss and tinnitus after years of canons, explosions, gunshots, and a definitive, scale tipping attack in her early 30s.  Her ears just don’t work at all like they used to.  The whole world sounds like it would if everything was underwater: she can’t pin point the location of sounds, how far off or close sounds are, and barely registers changes in volume. And it only gets worse the older she gets; one day she won’t hear anything at all.  And while yes, again, it might be very harsh and ableist to say, the truth of the matter that being deaf a “ weakness ” more often than its a strength.       That said, it very well can be a strength.  I’ve already mentioned that trick with the firecrackers and let me tell you it is a DAMN EFFECTIVE TRICK.  Shes around explosions and canons and guns all the time and now she can focus while being around them five times better than she could in the past!  But unfortunately it also means she’s very easy to sneak up on, she sometimes isn’t aware of danger until it’s nearly too late,  no one can get her attention or warn her across any distance, it’s very easy to escape from her, and it’s easy for her to be just... left out of things.  She might hear you talking, but she has little to no idea what you’re saying without sign or lipreading.  Some people don’t have the patience or even just the courtesy to speak slower, or clearer, or repeat themselves a lot.  Though, those last too thinks aren’t weaknesses of hers so much as they are the weakness of others, but they still negatively affect her self esteem and her effectiveness as a leader.       All of this has taught her to pick her battles carefully, and plan around the elements of surprise and discombobulation.  And while communication was tricky at first, it only got easier, and now she can talk to you almost like anyone can, so long as she’s looking you in the face. 

     That damn bleeding heart.  We have established a number of things that should easily add up to an overly empathetic, trusting, fight-the-good-fight, martyr-some, idealistic pushover;  she believes humanity and kindness are strengths, she has taken on the role of leader and then a provider, she has known suffering and tasked herself with ending the suffering of others to the best of her ability,  she lacks the clarity of mind to assume people aren’t just as good or capable as her automatically, she can have poor impulse control at times,  she wants to have relationships, and ( while I never stated this outright yet it can be inferred  ), she believes that being able to see yourself in others is the foundation of humanity and ( as i did say outright ) humanity is what keeps us unified and unity is what makes us fit and strong.  Keeping up?  Good. Here’s the curve ball: How can she whole hardheartedly preach and believe all of this, to the point of it being the foundation of her character, WHILE BEING A VIOLENT THIEVING AND BLOODTHIRSTY PIRATE?!  HOW, MANGO? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!  Ok, fine, sure, I will. I’m sure about one half of you are looking up from the screen and going “ Oh yeah, wow I totally forgot that bit. “ and the other half got about two and a half paragraphs in before squinting and silently calling bullshit. So let me explain.      In short, she’s a detached hypocrite and is well aware and unashamed of her hypocrisy while far less aware of her detachment. I’ll cover both:  Western culture as a whole seems to be under the impression that hypocrisy, despite context or importance, is automatically bad.  I don’t know where this comes from personally ( my bet is Christianity but I have exactly 0 evidence ) but its a very... flawed idea.  Take the freedom of speech vs racism problem; say you owned a bar where all could speak their mind freely over cold drinks.  Excellent concept without context, right?  Sure. ....Then a die hard racist covered in slurs and symbols walks in and orders- what are you going to do?  The correct answer is to throw him out instantly.  Not let him sit so long as he doesn’t cause trouble, not just ignore him and hope he doesn’t return, you throw him out.  Is it hypocritical?  Yep!  Sure is!  But it is also 100% necessary to protect your other patrons because if you don’t, the racist starts feeling safe and bringing his racist buddies, literally everyone else starts feeling unsafe and starts to hang out elsewhere, and two months later, ta da!  You now own a n*zi bar and there is literally nothing you can do about it. Jessica is in a somewhat similar situation.  You as a pretend bar owner need to make a decision as who to let into your bar and who to throw out for the good of all of your patrons.  Jessica too is faced daily with that decision.  If she want’s to help as many people as possible, the only realistic way she can do that are by protecting those under her leadership... only.  She is surrounded by hateful, angry, sneaky, traitorous, abusive, or otherwise evil people.  Piracy as a profession and poverty in general can do that to a person.  Of course there is a clear difference between those down on their luck and desperate, and the truly cruel and twisted, but unfortunately both types of people yield the same wrongdoings.  It’s absolutely her nature to extend a hand to anyone and everyone but.... she just can’t anymore.  Too many times has her trust been betrayed, too many times has she gotten in peoples business trying to be helpful, only for her to absolutely bite her in the ass.  Too many time the extended hand is bitten and once or twice, she’s actually made things worse.       Now, she will only help someone she loves, someone under her leadership, or someone who seeks her out.  That’s it.  And even then, sometime it manages to bite er in the ass.  But she had to set that hard limit for herself out of necessity, one she does her absolute best to adhere too and... these days she adheres a little too well. That leads us to our next point; what I was alluding to at the beginning of her Understanding essay when I said she has limited but deep running empathy.  That detachment again, courtesy of a very unattached mother and unchecked ADHD. ( It isn’t a strong enough characteristic to even rank as a strength or a weakness but damn if it isn’t an undercurrent to a lot of her motivations and experiences. ) Strangers are fair game that she tries to ignore, but if she even perceives you as a threat, you could be in danger. Like anyone used to violence or perhaps anyone trapped in an us verses them mindset, she can just... flat... turn her empathy off.  Not on command, she’s not a socio or psychopath persay.  But she has become totally numb to the horror of violence via her warrior upbringing that, in her mind, violence can actually be rather fun. Pair that with the fact that she purposely tailored herself to only be empathetic to her allies and boom.  You get a kindhearted killer.  Cops and soldiers in our world do it literally every day.  Actually anyone can do it really, even you if you tried. You don’t have to be evil or even angry to kill or steal or lie... you just have to believe you’re right.

Three Secrets:

     WHAT SECRETS?!  LMAO this bitch is the oversharing queen!! I’ve been typing and pondering her character for literal hours ( its currently 11:16, fuck you adderall ), and I still can not think of a single goddamn secret.  There is nothing about her that at least five random people don’t fucking know about!! The only secrets she has are secrets she knows about other people and even then she is!! literally the worst!! She spills her guts left and right and yet she wants to be a mysterious bitch SO BAD like BABE I love you, you’re precious, but you are a dumbass attention seeking validation chasing adhd CLOWN girl!! Stop telling random people about your hermaphroditism or your dairy allergy or your dead dad or that time you fell asleep in a barrel like that is literally your uber driver Jessica honey come ooooon. I’m skipping this section mom holy fuck.

Three Fears:

     What if she does wrong by everyone who trusts her?  As stated at the end of the ADHD essay, she’s terrified of failing those she leads.  Where it as simple as personal failure, she’d be fine.  Ever if her entire world came crashing down on top of her she’d either die or start back from square one.  Death is a fact of life and her adaptability means she can just dust herself off and move on, so neither her death nor her failures really scare her... But it isn’t just her life and happiness at stake, is it? Not anymore, right?  What started as a leader of a small gang of rebels became a full crew, then a crew became a slew of allies, then those allies built a town and now... now she’s the governor of the Crimson Isle and there are nearly twenty five HUNDRED lives at her mercy.   HER mercy.  One really, really bad mistake could ruin their livelihoods or spark disorder and disloyalty.  And if she died?  Would whoever it is that will take her place be as good to them as she is?  Is she good enough to begin with in the first place? Every day the paperwork gets a little bit thicker, every year there’s a new baby or two.  And the isle has fertile soil sure but will it last?  Are they prepared for a raid or a hurricane?  And if Jessica trusts the wrong people, where her people right to trust her?  ...can I protect them? Can I protect them?! CAN I PROTECT THEM?!

     Who am I if I’m not interesting?  This is, literally, an entirely subconscious fear.  She’s not at all aware it exists and therefor this entry is short. But between her short time with her very unimpressed mother, her own ADHD, she is constantly hungry for attention without even realizing it.  She must be interesting and intriguing and engaging, and I did mention she wants to also be mysterious.  She wants not so much your input or even your validation - but rather if shes not perceived then.... is she really there? Remember, she is unaware of any of this.  And fortunately she’d never been starved for attention to act out over it in the first place, even when her disinterested mother was alive. Look at her; she’s radiant, she’s beautiful, and she’s 6′4 / 195 cm shredded and covered in cool scars. Without even opening her mouth, without even her colorful clothes, she’s kind of automatically interesting.  So she’s never been so desperate for attention that she acts out because she’s never been without it for very long.  But it’s there. Hungry, aching, silent.  Those years after the M branding were horrible and she could never really explain why.  She still throws parties, organizes festivals, and talks to damn near anyone who will listen.  Look at my art!  Look at my library! Listen to how much I know! Let me tell you how lovely you are! Look at my scares! Look at my hair! Look at me haha, please, please look at me. 

     GHOSTS. NOPE. No. NO. Fuck ALL of that noise. Stay dead, go to hell, eat a dick.  Red Jessica is a scientist and superstitious atheist. As an academic and somewhat bi-cultural woman she simply thinks there are far too many religions with far too much history for any of them to be considered The One True Thing You Must Believe Or ElseTM and she tends to not truly believe anything until she finds some kind of proof.  Shes not afraid of the unknown, shes thrilled by it. She’s not afraid of death or the afterlife, that’s beyond her control. She’s only superstitious because she does believe in and value luck, and also its a bit of a cultural habit. BUT IF SOME SHIT STARTS MOVING ON ITS OWN OR IF SHE SEES SOME BULLSHIT IN THE CORNER OF HER EYE THEN SHE IS OUT OF THERE. OUTIE 5000. She has heard the tales of lost souls from purgatory or the eternally ravenous Pret or dangerous Phi Tai Hong or the tragic and startling Banshees or the creepy Santa Compana and she wouldn’t believe a word of it where it not for one thing.      SHE FUCKING SAW ONE. She’ll never forget it, it was the first and last time she EVER attempted to plunder a tomb all Skyrim style and at first she thought it was one of the crewmean being creepy as shit until she got a good look and he was SEE THROUGH AS SHIT AND SKINNY AS FCUK AND SHE GOT LITERALLY CHASED THE FUCK OUT OF THAT JOINT. She does not CARE that some ghosts are just apparitions she does not CARE that some are friendly and trying to warn her of something if you are MOVING and DEAD at the SAME time get FUCKED. If any of y’all cringe try-hards bring a Ouija board to the party you are getting SENT HOME and BLOCKED. NO CAP.

Three Goals:

   She really only has one left. Listen its... almost 1am and ive been typing since like 5pm i think i covered goals somewhere in here but ive gotta throw in the towel but even then I’m kinda being serious.  Her only remaining goal is to find a suitable heir of some kind.  She wants what she’s built to fall into worthey hands but she could never seem to find a good parter and even when she did she couldn’t sustain a pregnancy ( you’d think that would be a huge deal but it hardly mattered to her oddly ).  So at 50 the option of having kids is out but there’s still plenty of hope for either adoption or a protege.  But then again, she’s so busy these days that she hardly prioritizes it like she wants to.  

                                                                               holy shit i need some water...

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! I'm a huge fan of your work and deeply enjoying FFS rn, it really shows the love and care you've put into this world and characters and it's an amazing read 🥰🧡

Idk if you've actually answered this question before or if it's a bit too much? So feel free to skip it. Do you have any advice on how to write a therapist and sessions with them? And to go along with that, a therapist&patient relationship that doesn't feel inauthentic but that's a healthy one?

I've had to visit both psychiatrists and psychologists a couple of times along my life, which has almost always been a positive experience to me, but when I get down to business and want to write a character going to therapy, I fall into a bunch of the psychoanalytic clichés US films have hammered us down with, even if I'm not from an Anglophile country!

Thanks a bunch in advance!! Ilu, have a nice start of the year🧡✨

Hiya anon!

I have a few thoughts about writing therapy sessions so I’m just going to put them down in no particular order.

Firstly, I don’t actually think it’s always a good idea to write therapy in stories, and a lot of the time I avoid writing it even when a character is actively seeing a therapist. This is particularly true in The Wind that Cuts the Night where all we see of Alex and his therapist are snippets, and nothing more than that, because therapy sessions would slow down the pacing, focus and value of the story.

Where possible, characters don’t see therapists, but talk to people in a way that is therapeutic, usually with love interests or members of the ensemble cast (Augus and Fenwrel in The Court of Five Thrones, Jack and Eva in The Golden Age that Never Was, Jack and North in From the Darkness We Rise/Into Shadows We Fall, Cullen and Cassandra, Cullen and Bull in Stuck on the Puzzle). All of those characters need therapy, but writing therapy sessions tends to slow down the pace of a fic pretty dramatically, and even I had misgivings about writing Efnisien’s sessions with Dr Gary at first because I’m acutely aware of the fact that:

1. Therapy sessions can be draggy and boring 2. They often take away important emotional realisations from other characters, ruining potential hurt/comfort and character relationship development moments with your actual cast / love interests 3. Fiction is meant to be fiction, not reality. 4. A lot of therapy sessions are actually not that interesting to sit in or write or observe, which is why writers do often find themselves falling into certain cliches while writing them to make them more interesting. Even I cut out huge chunks of sessions to get to the more interesting parts, lol. 5. You can write a character going to therapy without writing the therapy. You can just choose to have the character remember bits and pieces of the session later as it’s relevant to their life. 6. Therapy is different for everyone, and some readers (myself included) don’t enjoy reading it when the therapy is a kind that doesn’t resonate or feel right.

So you really need to ask yourself why you want to write therapy specifically, because a lot of the time it gets boring or - as you point out - falls into cliched territory. Writing a character going to a doctor a lot in detail for regular injections is boring. Writing them thinking about how they have to do this in brief while their love interest is sympathetic to them getting those injections is more interesting. Writing a character suffering from an illness that they need regular injections for, with their love interest comforting them? Interesting.

Falling Falling Stars is a unique fic in that Efnisien has no one before he meets Arden, except for Dr Gary and Gwyn. If you’re writing an FFS style fic, writing therapy sessions might be appropriate. It might be worth really thinking about the kind of fics you want to write, why you want to write therapy, how that will affect your pacing, etc.

If you’re still dead set on writing therapy sessions, then I have some suggestions re: writing more realistic/healthy therapy and how to find that knowledge yourself, and I don’t really know how to shorthand some of it:

1. Get books on therapy that are designed for the therapist. These are often expensive, but sometimes libraries stock them - and university libraries in particular will often have photocopy abilities (or you can just photograph the pages you need) because these books look at how sessions should be structured. Books with case studies are ideal, since they often show dialogue chains between the client and therapist. Books that obviously deal with the mental illnesses you’re planning on writing about are the most ideal.

2. With a view to this, learn about different therapeutic modalities (for example are you trying to write psychology or psychoanalysis or both? Are you writing social work? Are you writing cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy, expressive therapies, narrative therapy, transcendental therapy?) Be aware that different modalities have different session structures and learn what they are. Wikipedia is your friend, but your closest friend will be actually acquiring textbooks on the subject. This is a pretty significant financial barrier at times, I’ve been collecting books like this on psychology since like 1997.

3. Learn about your character’s mental instabilities that require them to go to a therapist and then look up the most recommended forms of therapy for your character’s specific issues. Will they suit your character? Why/why not? Will they have a therapist who realises and switches modality if it doesn’t suit? Or will they be lucky and find someone who helps them straight away?

4. All therapy sessions have a structure to them. And therapy often has a narrative arc through the course of therapy over many sessions. They should generally have the attempt at a beginning (greeting / setting up the problem to be discussed), middle (highlighting the source of conflict or inner conflict) and end (helping the client to focus on less stressful things, possible homework assigned, and potentially talking about future work/sessions). Learn this structure. Even if you’re not writing the whole session, you need to know where in the session you’re writing, beginning/middle/end will be different tonally. Structures will be different per therapeutic modality, and a therapist that knows many different modalities (like Dr Gary) will often be using slightly different structures each time depending on the character’s mood/issue.

5. In a healthy therapist/client relationship there will be the ability to discuss boundaries, grievances and the therapist won’t be revealing much about their personal life at all (unless anecdotally it’s super relevant and even then it will be deliberately vague). This is one of those things that will - in many cases - make for more boring sessions on the page, depending on the ‘client.’ For example, if you’re writing someone seeing a therapist for the first time, it might realistically take months or years before they start showing progress or trust. That’s not interesting (there’s a reason ‘therapy fiction’ isn’t a genre), so of course it’s tempting to shortcut into more dramatic moments.

*

I would say if you’re finding yourself leaning towards more cliched or dramatic forms of writing re: therapy, your writing brain may sense that the entire scene/s may not be suited to the story, and is trying to find a way to make them more interesting to yourself and the reader. If that’s not the case, then a lot more research is needed! It’s time to sink many hours into actually understanding what you’re trying to write. This doesn’t matter as much if you’re writing unrealistic or unhealthy therapy, but it’s 100% necessary when you’re trying to write healthier therapy depictions.***

Also a couple of sessions of experience is a start, but you might want to watch or find a way to watch more therapy sessions, because you’ve missed out on experiencing longer arcs, different modalities etc. (This is where my hands on experience with 19 therapists since 1995 is actually really helpful, lmao - I’ve had close to like 800~ sessions by now, with good and bad therapists; I cannot pretend that hasn’t given me a knowledge base that most people don’t share). You can still learn that stuff via research, MedCircle on Youtube is a good place to start, since it offers 30 minute snapshots on what CBT and DBT sessions will look like etc. and has some great playlists.

Most fics I’ve read don’t do a great job of depicting therapy, but the Babes!verse series by @rynfinity has probably some of the most realistic and still really interesting sessions I’ve read as an ongoing arc. The series is long, because it needs to be re: what it’s dealing with, but it’s great, and I definitely recommend looking at another example of how an author tackles these sorts of scenes. Out of the Mouths of Babes / The March of the Damned are the two intertwined series.

I apologise if this sounds discouraging overall, or daunting, but I just want to stress there’s a reason that I’m often not writing therapy in my writing, as anything more than the occasional scene with a non-therapist, or snapshots that are reflected on and that’s it. Falling Falling Stars is the exception to the rule, and unless you’re writing an exception to the rule as well, it’s really worth reflecting on the first six points I wrote - it’ll save you a fuckton of time and research. And if you go ahead with it, I wish you well! :D

*** Also disclaimer: But I still am writing very indulgent therapy that is not beholden to being either a 100% healthy or 100% realistic depiction. The fact is, real therapy sessions are pretty boring for observers except for maybe ten or twenty minutes in the middle at times.

(ETA: It’s just occurred to me that therapy fiction does exist, esp. in the mass media, but that it is - afaik - all unrealistic, dramatised or unhealthy. But if you want to watch a great show - I highly recommend In Treatment with Gabriel Byrne, just by aware that it is depicting, for the most part, unhealthy dynamics which are more character studies than anything).

[scifrey]

WORDS FOR WRITERS: The Value of Fanfiction

There’s been a lot of chatter on social media these last few weeks, recycling that trashy, self-aggrandizing, tired old “hot take” that reading and writing fanfiction is somehow bad for you as a writer.

Before we go any further, let me give a clear and definitive answer to this take:

No, reading and writing fanfiction will not make you and does not make you a bad reader or writer.

 Period.

 Why? Here’s the TL;DR version:

1)      Reading and Writing, any kind of reading and writing, will make you a better reader and writer. And it’s enjoyable, to boot.

2)      Fanfiction has been around as long as Original Fiction, so we’d know if there was any negative impact by now (spoiler alert: there isn’t.)

3)      Practice is Practice, so matter what medium you get that practice in.

4)      Comprehending and writing fanfiction is harder than writing original fiction because you have to hold the Source Media Text in your head at the same time as you’re reading/writing a different story. It improves your understanding of storytelling.

5)      No hobby, no matter what it is, so long as it doesn’t harm anyone else or yourself, is bad. And that goes double for if you decide to keep it a hobby. Not every fanfic writer wants to write original fiction, and that’s just fine. Not every hobby has to be monetized.

 Okay. But what do they mean by “fanfiction”?

 “Fanfiction is fictional writing written by fans, commonly of an existing work of fiction. The author uses copyrighted characters, settings, or other intellectual properties from the original creator as a basis for their writing.”-- Wikipedia

 Basically – it’s when you take elements (setting, characters, major themes or ideas) of a Media Text (a novel, a movie, a podcast, a comic, etc.) and create a different story with those elements. You can write a missing scene, or an extended episode, or a whole new adventure for the characters of the Media Text. You can even crossover or fuse multiple Media Texts, or specific elements, to create a whole new understanding of the characters or their worlds.

 Similar to fanfic, you can also create fanart, fancomics, or fansongs (“filk”), fancostumes (“cosplay”), and fanfilms. These are called Fanworks or Fancrafts.

 Fanfiction is usually posted to online forums, journals, blogs, or story archives and shared for free among the public. Before the advent of the internet, fanfiction was often printed or typed, and hand-copied using photocopiers or ditto machines, and distributed for free (or for a small administration fee to cover materials) among fans at conventions, or through mail-order booklets (“zines”).

 Fanfiction has existed pretty much since the beginning of storytelling (A Thousand and One Nights, Robin Hood, and King Arthur all have different elements attributed to them by different authors retelling, twisting, adding to, or changing the stories; there’s no single-origin author of those tales.)

 There are billions on billions of fanfics out there in the world—and while a majority of them are romance stories, there are also adventures, comedies, dramas, thrillers, stories based on case files, stories about the emotional connection between characters when one is hurt and the other must care for them, historical retellings, etc. There are also stories for every age range and taste, though be sure to take heed of the tags, trigger warnings, and age range warnings as your browse the archives and digital libraries.

 As a reader, it’s your responsibility to curate your experience online.

 So why are people so afraid or derisive of fanfic?

 People who are hard on fanfic say that…

 ·       It sucks.

o   Well of course it sucks! As it’s a low-stakes and easy way to try out creative writing for the first time, the majority of fanfiction is overwhelmingly written by new and young writers. Everything you do when you first try it sucks a little bit. 

I’m sure no figure skater was able to immediately land perfect triple axels ten minutes after they strap on the skates for the first time in their lives. No knitter has ever made a flawlessly perfect jumper on their first try. No mathematician has ever broken the code to send a rocket into space after having just been taught elementary-school multiplication. So why on earth do people think that new writers don’t need to practice? I can promise you that Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first rap was probably pretty shaky.

·       It’s lazy or it’s cheating.

o   Listen, anyone who tells you that writing anything is lazy clearly has not sat down and tried to write anything. Writing is tedious. It is boring. It takes hours, and hours, and hours to get anything on the page, and then once it’s on the page you have to go back and edit it. UGH. There is nothing about being a writer—even a fanfic writer—that is lazy.

o   And anyone who tells you that trying to tell a fresh, new story within the limits and confines of a pre-existing world and have it make sense is cheating, then they have no freaking clue how hard it is to be creative with that kind of limitation placed on you. It’s harder when you have a set of rules you need to follow. What you do come up with is often extremely interesting and creative because of those limitations, not in spite of them.

o   The argument that using pre-made characters, settings, tropes, and worlds to make up a new story is cheating is also complete bunk. Do those same people also expect hockey players to whittle and plane themselves a whole new hockey stick from scratch before each game? No, of course not. And yeah, a baker can grow all their own wheat, grind the flour, raise the chickens and cows so they can get eggs and milk, distill the vanilla, etc. Or a baker can buy a box mix. Either way, you get a cake at the end of the process. Whether you write fanfic or original fiction, you still get a story at the end of the process.

·       It makes you a worse writer.

o   * annoying buzzer noise * Practicing anything does not make you worse at it. And reading stories that are not edited, expertly crafted, or “high art” will also not indoctrinate you into being a bad writer. If anything, figuring out why you don’t like a specific story, trope, or writing style is actually a great way to learn what kind of writer you want to be, and to learn different methods of constructing sentences, creating images, and telling tales. Or you know, just how much spelling and grammar matter.

·       It’s not highbrow or thoughtful enough.

o   Sometimes stories are allowed to be just comfort food. Not every book or story you read has to be haute cuisine or boringly nutritious. You are allowed to read stories because they’re exciting, or swoony, or funny, or just because you like them. Anyone who says differently is a snob and worth ignoring. (Besides, fun silly stories can also be packed with meaning and lessons—I mean, hello, Terry Pratchett, anyone?)

·       It makes you waste all your time on writing that can’t be monetized.

o   No time is wasted if you spend it doing something that brings you joy. Not every hobby needs to be a money-maker and not everyone wants to be a professional writer. You are allowed to write, and read, fanfic just for the fun of it.

·       It’s theft.

o   According to Fair Use Law, it’s not. As long as the fanfic writer (or artist, cosplayer, etc.) is not making money on their creation that directly impacts or cuts into the original creator’s profit, or is not repackaging/plagiarizing the original Media Text and profiting off it’s resale, then Fan Works are completely legal. So there.

 How, exactly, does fanfic make you a better writer?

 Fanfiction…

 ·       teaches you to finish what you start.

o   The joy of being able to share your fic, either as you’re writing it, or afterward, is a big motivating factor for a lot of people. They finish because they get immediate feedback on it from their readers and followers. Lots of people have ideas for books, but how many of them do you know have actually sat down and written the whole thing?

o   Fanfic is also low-stakes; there’s nothing riding on whether you finish something or not, so you have to inspire yourself to get there without the outside (potentially negative) motivation of deadline or a failing grade if you don’t get the story finished. You end up learning how to motivate yourself.

o   Fanfic has no rules, so you write as much or as little as you want, stop wherever you think is a good place to end the story, write it out of order, or go back and write as many sequels or prequels as you like. Again, it’s totally low-stakes and is meant to be for fun, so you can noodle around with what it means to write a “whole” story and “complete” it, which teaches you how you like to write, and how you like to find your way to the finish line.

·       teaches you story structure.

o   Before you can sit down and write a story based on one of your favorite Media Texts, you’re likely to spend a lot of time consuming that text passively, or studying it actively. Either way, you’re absorbing how and why Media Text structures the stories it tells, and are learning how to structure your own from that.

o   Once you’re comfortable with the story structure the Media Text you’re working in is told, you’ll probably start experimenting with different ways stories can be told, and find the versions you like to work with best.

·       teaches you how to write characters consistently.

o   Fanfic is really hard because not only do you have to write your fave characters in a way that moves the story along, but they have to be recognizable as those fave characters.

o   This means you have to figure out their body language, verbal and physical tics, their motivations and they way the handle a crisis (fight, flight, or fawn?), and then make up the details you may need for your story that you may never see on screen/the page, like how they take their eggs or what their fave shampoo is, based on what you already know about them. That takes some top-notch detective work and character understanding to pull off.

o   Once you know how to do that, just making up a whole person yourself for original fiction is a breeze.

·       Teaches you how to hear and mimic a character/narrator voice.

o   You have to pay close attention to how an actor speaks, or how a character’s speech patterns, dialect, work choice, etc. is reflected on the page in order to be consistent in your story.

o   And all of this, in turn, teaches you how to build one for yourself.

o   I have a whole series of articles here about building a narrative voice, if you want to read more on constructing an original voice for your narrator.

·       Teaches you how to create or recreate a setting.

o   Again, like achieving character consistency, or mimicking a character or narrative voice, it takes work and paying attention in order to re-create a setting, time period, or geographical region in a fanfic—and if you’re taking your characters somewhere new, your readers will expect that setting to be equally rich as the one the Media Text is based in.

o   Which, again, teaches you how to then go and build an original one for yourself.

·       teaches how to take critique.

o   Professional writing is not a solitary pursuit. In fact, most writing is not entirely the work of an author alone. Like professional authors work with editors, critique partners, and proofreaders, some fanfiction writers will sometimes work with beta-readers or editors as well. This are friends or fanfic colleagues who offer to read your fanfic and point out plot, character, consistency, or story structure errors, or who offer to correct spelling and grammar errors. This is a great way to practice working with editors if you decide to pursue a professional career, and also a great way to make friends and strengthen your community and skill set if you don’t.

o   Many fanfic sites offer readers the opportunity to leave a comment on a fic, rather like a reviewer can leave a review on GoodReads or Amazon, or any other online store or blog, for a novel they’ve read. Sometimes these comments/reviews are 5 star and enthusiastic! Sometimes they are… not. The exact opposite in fact. As you get comments on your fanfic, and learn to ignore the ones that are just mean rather than usefully critical, you gain the Very Important Skill of learning to resist firing back at bad comments or reviews, while enjoying the good ones.  It also teaches you how to ignore drama or haters.

·       Teaches you how to exist within a like-minded community.

o   While the actual writing part of writing is solitary and sometimes tedious, nothing is ever published into a vacuum, whether it be fanfiction or original. Besides your editing/critique/beta reader group, you will also likely develop friendships, a support network, and mutuals. It’s always great to uplift, support, cheer on, and celebrate one another’s accomplishments and victories, whether the writing is fanfic or original.

·       Teaches you that it’s okay to write about things important to you, or your own identity.

o   You can change a characters ethnicity, cultural background, sexuality, religion, or disabilities to match yours, and talk about your lived life through the megaphone of that character. Or, you can insert original characters based on you, your desires, and experiences.

o   Once you’re comfortable writing in your #ownvoice in fanfic, you can approach it in original fiction, if you like.

o   See my article titled Your Voice Is Valid for more on this.

 What if I want to be a professional writer?

 Notice how I didn’t say “real writer”. Any writer who writes any kind of story is a ‘real’ writer. I mean, pinch yourself—you’re real, right? The difference is actually between being an “amateur” writer (a hobbyist who does not write for pay), and a “professional” (who is paid for their writing). Just because you only play shinny on the street with your friends, or in a house league on the weekends, it’s doesn’t mean  you’re not still as much of a hockey player as someone who plays in the NHL.

 Writing fanfiction before or at the same time as writing original fiction that you intend to sell is a great way to learn, or practice, everything I’ve mentioned above. If you read it widely, it will also expose you to different story telling styles, voices, and tropes than your reading of published fiction.

 ·       Can I sell my fanfic?

o   No. For fanfiction to remain under the umbrella of Fair Use Law, you cannot profit off your fanfiction. There’s some grey-area wiggle room around things like charging a small amount for a ‘zine or a PDF to cover administrative costs, but zero wiggleability around, say, selfpublishing your fanfic and charging heaps for it.

·       Can I “file off the serial numbers”?

o   “Filing of the series numbers” is when you take a fanfic you’ve written and essentially pull it apart, remove everything that’s clearly someone else’s Media Text, and reassembling the story so that it’s pretty much a completely original piece of creative writing.

o   Yes, you can sell these, provided your filing is rigorous enough that you aren’t likely to be dinged for plagiarism. It’s widely known that Cassandra Claire’s Shadowhunters was once Harry Potter fanfic, and that Fifty Shades of Gray was once Twilight fanfic. But did you know that my Triptych started life as an idea for a Stargate Atlantis fic? There’s lots of stories out there that were once full fics, or the idea for the novel was originally conceived for a fandom, but written as original instead.

o   So long as you’re careful to really rework the text so that it’s not just a find-name-replace-name rewrite, you should be fine.

o   Be aware, though, that the agents and editors you might pitch this novel to know how to Google. They may discover that this is a filed-off story, and depending on their backgrounds and biases, might be concerned about it. There’s no need to inform them of the novel’s origin straight off in your pitch/query letter, but you may want to have a frank discussion with them about it after it’s been signed so they can help you make sure that any lingering copywrited concepts or characters are thoroughly changed before publication.

o   Should you take down the original fic-version of the novel while you’re querying/shopping it? Well, that’s up to you, and whether you’re comfortable with an editor/agent potentially finding it.

·       Should I be ashamed of my fic, or take it down, or pretend I never wrote fic?

o   What? Why? No! I mean, I have hidden some of my most immature work, but I’ve left pretty much my whole catalogue of fanfic online and I don’t deny that I was/am a ficcer. Why? Because it’s a great repository of free stories that people can read before they buy one of my books, so they can get a taste of how and what I write. Also, you will be in good company. Lots and lots of writers who are published now-a-days started in fandom, including:

Steven Moffat

Seanan McGuire

Rainbow Rowell

Claudia Gray

Cory Doctorow

Marissa Meyer

Meg Cabot.

Naomi Novik

Neil Gaiman

Lev Grossman

S.E. Hinton

John Scalzi

The Bronte Sisters

Andy Weir

Sarah Rees Brennan

Marjorie M. Liu

Anna Todd

...and me, J.M. Frey

 How fanfic can harm.

 Like with anything else, there are ways that reading and writing fanfiction can actually harm you, or others, but it has nothing to do with the reading or writing of fanfiction in and of itself.

 ·       Some creators may prefer that you don’t (and may or may not follow up with legal action).

o   Anne Rice famously went after fanficcers in the 90s who wrote fanfic of her work, handing out Cease & Desist notices like confetti.

o   99% of creators don’t care. Those who do will generally have a notice on their websites or social media politely asking fancreators to refrain. Mostly this is due to their general discomfort over the idea of anyone else getting to play in their worlds. The best thing to do is respect that request, and find a different fandom to write in.

·       Flamewars and fandom fights leading to bullying and doxing.

o   Regrettably, just like any other community filled with people who have different favorites, opinions, and preferences, there will inevitably be clashes. It’s up to you to decide how to react to negative interactions, and how to model positive ones.

o   Don’t forget, you curate your online experience, so don’t be afraid of that block button.

o   Also, don’t be the jerk who goes after people for liking different aspects of the fandom. Everyone is entitled to interact and like a Media Text their own way. “Don’t yuck my yum,” as they say.

·       Trying to make money on other people’s IP/Media Text (law suits, etc.)

o   It doesn’t belong to you, so don’t try to make money on it.

o   There’s a grey area here in terms of selling prints/plushies/jewelry/etc. and there’s no hard line about where one copyright owner will draw the line, and another won’t. Warner Bros. owns the film rights for both Harry Potter and Hunger Games, but I’ve seen Harry Potter-themed bars spring up while fans wanting to make Hunger Game fanfilms have been shut down. A friend of mine sells hand-made fandom-inspired items at cons—there is no rhyme or reason to what she gets told to stop making and what she’s left alone on.

o   Best thing to do if you’re told to stop is just so stop, move on, and find a different fandom to be active in.

·       Writing Real Person Fanfic (“RPF”) can be considered a violation of consent.

o   This article sums it up pretty well, but basically… if you decide to write RPF, be aware that they person you are writing about is a real person, with real thoughts, and emotions, and they may feel violated by RPF. If you decide to write it, never send it to the people it’s about, and always clearly tag it so other can choose to engage with it, or avoid it.

o   Also be aware that it could ruin their love for what they do. For example: the friendships between the members of 1Direciton became strained and the band eventually disintegrated because people wouldn’t stop sending band members smutty stories or art of them having sex with one another, and it made them too uncomfortable to continue in the band.

·       Showing/sharing fanfic & fanart outside of its intended context. Fanworks are for fans, and there are definitely issues if…

o   It’s shown to celebrities/actors/creators.

  Shoving your fantasies onto the people who create or portray your fave characters is rude, and wrong, and also kinda gross. If they seek it out themselves, that’s one thing, but the same way you wouldn’t throw it at a complete stranger, don’t throw it at them. You may love the characters these people play, but they are not their characters, and they are not your friends.

  It may also really weird them out and ruin their love for what they do.

o   it’s shown to writers working on the series.

  There was a famous case where a fanficcer sent a story to a novelist, and the novelist was accused of plagiarism by the ficcer when their next novel in the series resembled the plot of that fanfic. There was a whole court case and everything.

  Because of this, writers of TV shows, books, etc. don’t want to (and often times, legally can’t) read your fanfic. They don’t want to get accidentally inspired by what you’ve written, or worse, have to throw out something because it resembles your fic too closely. Just let them write their stories the way they want, and if they choose to seek out fic, they will.

o   it’s mocked by celebrities.

  I’m not letting Alan Carr and Graham Norton off the hook. If it’s super rude and gross to shove fanworks at actors/writers/creators when you’re a creator, then it’s doubly rude for anyone to take a story or art made for a specific audience (the fans), by a specific community (the fans), lift it out of it’s context, and invite the public to mock it while also shoving it at the actor/celebrity in a place where they are literally cornered and can’t leave (i.e. the chat-show sofa). Man, it really steams me up when they do that. It’s rude and it’s tone-deaf, and it’s not fair.

  And most of the time they do it, they don’t even ask the artist or writer for permission, first, which is just…. Uuuuugggghhhh. It may be fanfic, but it was still created by someone, and you should always ask permission before publicly sharing something created by someone else.

  Grrrrrrr.

 In Conclusion

 If someone tells you that reading or writing fanfic is bad for you as a creator, tell them to get bent.

Famous Fanfic

·       Hamilton by Lin-Manuel Miranda

·       Wicked by Gregory Maguire

·       Wicked: the Musical by Stephen Schwartz

·       The Phantom of Manhattan by Fredrick Forsyth

·       A Study in Emerald by Neil Gaiman

·       Sherlock by Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat

·       The Dracula Tape, by Fred Saberhaugen

·       Paradise Lost, John Milton

·       Inferno, by Dante

·       The Aeneid, by Virgil

·       Ulysses, by James Joyce

·       Romeo & Juliet, by William Shakespeare

·       The Once and Future King by T.H. White

·       A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, by Mark Twain

·       The Three Musketeers, by Alexandre Dumas

·       Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, by Seth Grahame-Smith

·       Phantom, a novel of his life by Susan Kaye

·       …and so many more.

[nsheetee]

The Intricate Art of Being Enemies

Pairing: Rich Kid!Chenle x Rich Girl!Reader Genre: College AU, Rich Kid AU, Enemies to Lovers AU || Fluff, Angst Length: 14k Warnings: Swearing, mentions of death, a kissing scene Summary: 

Step 1: The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend Step 2: Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake Step 3: When you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love

Key: Sections in italics indicate the scene happened in the past

»»————-✧༺♥༻♛༺♥༻✧————-««

A four-leafed clover, a rare variation of the common three-leafed clover, is said to bring luck into the life of whoever finds it. To you, a four-leafed clover brought Chenle.

You found the clover in a sandpit during recess in kindergarten; maybe it got stuck on the bottom of someone's shoe or maybe the wind blew it this far from its home, but you didn’t care. It was pretty and your favorite color and you wanted it, but you reached for it at the same time a little boy with the chubbiest cheeks you’ve ever seen did. Chenle quickly snatched the clover out of the sand and clutched it to his chest. When he looked back at you, seeing tears well up in your eyes from the sudden fright, he sighed. His parents always told him to be nice to little girls, and he didn’t know much but he did know his parents are smart people. So he crawled over, sand sticking uncomfortably to his shins, and held out the clover to you.

“Here.” The smile that lit up your face made Chenle blush and quickly scurry away, but you called out to him.

“Wait! What’s your name?”

“I’m Chenle, you can call me Lele.”

“Thank you, Lele.”

“No problem, Clover.” And with that, he ran towards the swings and joined the rest of his friends with the reddest face, yours mirroring the same shade from the unexpected nickname.

Unfortunately, that would be the last innocent interaction between you and Chenle for a long, long time.

Your teacher took extra care so that you didn’t make any contact with Chenle after the day in the sandpit. As a small child, just being introduced to the world outside of your family, you couldn’t understand why your parents didn’t want you hanging around Chenle. He was in your class, sat at your work table, and was just a little dorky.

Your mother gathers you in her arms and sits you down on her lap, picking up a heavy brush from the table and begins brushing your hair in soothing strokes as she explains.

“Chenle is part of the Zhong family. Do you know who they are?” She asks you.

“No, Mommy.”

“The Zhong family runs a make-up company, just like we do. But they are very, very bad.” Your mother’s tone changes, but her steady hands keep brushing your soft hair. “They do a lot of bad things, and when you grow up you will learn more, do you understand?” No, you didn’t really understand, but her tightening grip on your hair makes you nod your head obediently.

“I’m glad. Remember: Don’t talk to Chenle. He and his family are the bad guys. We are the good guys.”

Your mother held true to her word, as you grew up you learned all about the Zhongcology Cosmetic Company. The company was run by the Zhong family, more specifically Liwei Zhong- Chenle’s father. Being the rivals of your family’s cosmetic company, Nuvane, you learned about their sick and twisted method of testing their products on animals. Although these were speculations, the amount of rumors that built up over time along with the consistency in stories made it seem as if it was fact. Unlike your parents, you waited to believe these rumors until hard facts were released that completely proved these stories.

Nuvane prided itself in complete animal-free testing of make-up products; from the beginning to the end of production, not one animal is harmed. Your parents taught you the importance of respecting animals and nature. You picked up the value instinctively, making them proud. Before you really knew how to hate, you started hating Zhongcology; just the thought of them testing their products on animals made you nauseous. Once you were old enough, you decided to wear your families make-up products with pride, knowing that they were safely made.

Chenle spent his childhood learning the same thing about your family. He was taught that Nuvane was filled with a bunch of sneaky, conniving tree-huggers who spewed lies about his family's company because of jealousy and hate for what was true: Zhongcology didn’t test on animals and made products that were superior to Nuvane.

Once you learned and understood the hatred between the two business, you still couldn’t understand the feud between the two families. You wouldn't believe that business practices could have your parents spouting venom about the Zhongs, and even pre-teenager you could understand there was something more that the families hated about each other. When you tried to ask your parents about it, you were met with a wave of a hand and the old, overused story of the Zhong’s business practices. It confused you, Chenle too, but after several years, you both learned to stop asking.

Regardless of the disputes, you and Chenle still went to the same school. From elementary to high school, and now the same private college, Carlston University, where your parents and grandparents once attended. The competition naturally continued here, through you and Chenle. You had so many rivalries that it was hard to keep track; everything from academics (who got the highest score on standardized tests), to how many titles of club president you could possess in the short four years of high school (you were the president of the Ecology Club, Chenle was one of the lead singers in Choir), even to how many hours of community service each could rack up (currently, it was you).

Maintaining this imagine of competitiveness was important for both of you; not only did it fuel your family’s image, but also yours as the next heirs of the two biggest make-up companies in the world. Before you could take the reins of the company, this seemed to be the only way to make your family proud; and if hating each other was the way to go, then you thrived in it.

You practically searched for things to hate in each other. Like the meticulous nature of Chenle, a micromanager, which is not a very good quality in a business man. Yet, people praise him for it left and right. He didn’t really fancy you that much either: you jumped to conclusions and were too willing to dive into what could possibly be a socially dangerous situation.

As the saying goes, keep your friends close but your enemies closer. You never would have guessed how close in character and mindset you and Chenle actually are.

During your lunch break, you spend your time in the library. Some days you studied, some days you mindlessly ate your lunch, some days you read; it was quiet and no one bothered you, a perfect break from all of your responsibilities. Today, you decide to venture into the book-keeping part of the library, where all the historical books about the school are located. Your eye catches the row of yearbooks dating back to the 50’s and you immediately search for the one from 1982, the year your parents would have been freshman at this University. You flip through the old pages, aimlessly looking through the black and white photos to find one of your parents, but instead you stumble onto something else.

You stare at the old, grainy photograph as if you can’t believe it exists. A woman, one who you have seen several times in your own family photo albums, stares back with a secret smile on her face and the man next to her wears the same expression, both of their eyes taunting you with something you don’t know yet. A shudder runs down your back as you read the description underneath the picture.

“1982, Wilson and Zhong prepping for their upcoming debate.” You recognized Wilson as your mother’s maiden name. But Zhong… There is one Zhong family that you’re very aware of and that family is a forbidden topic in your household. Something in your head tells you to shut the yearbook and put it away; if you act like you didn’t see it maybe you’ll forget about the man named Zhong that stands so close to the woman who you know you have a connection with, but don’t know how. Instead, you turn your head from side to side to scan the vicinity, and quickly rip out the page. Shoving the picture into the deepest depths of your backpack, you continue with your day and hope that your curiosity will be repressed.

Chenle learned to pick locks when he was 12; his nanny at the time taught him and Chenle has used this skill more times than he would like to admit. Like now, as he shoves a bobby pin into his father’s desk drawer lock. Chenle does this with the quietness of a mouse and the swiftness of a crook, excitement coursing through him but he swears he isn’t doing anything bad- He just wants the book his father keeps saying he will give him. He never meant to run into the picture and he only slightly wished he never did. Chenle holds the picture up to a light to see the caption better, eyes widening at the caption: “1982, Wilson and Zhong prepping for their upcoming debate.”

Chenle scans the room, as if waiting for someone to come in and catch him in the act. He sets the photo down and walks towards his father’s bookshelves, scanning the photographs that are placed at random on the shelves. One of the photographs closer to the bottom contains a picture of the man from the photograph Chenle just found, standing next to the younger version of his father. Chenle knows he’s seen this face before and his curiosity becomes too great to ignore. Chenle runs back to the desk and takes out his phone, snaps a shot of the old photo, quickly putting things back to where he found them and leaving the room as quietly as he came in. The photo burns a hole in Chenle’s phone as he sits at the dinner table later that night, thinking of the eyes of the man who he knew was somehow important to him.

Step 1: The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend

Despite the differences that you Chenle have been grown into thinking you have, you both think quite similarly. So when you make your way to the classroom that the photograph had been taken in so many years ago, it shouldn’t have been surprising to see Chenle there, too. You walk through the door and immediately scoff, ready to walk back out. Chenle turns around at the sound and rolls his eyes.

“What are you doing here?” He asks harshly.

“What are you doing here?”

“I asked first.”

“Aren’t we a little too old to be playing this game?” Your patience wears thin every moment he opens his lips and you consider walking out once more.

“Then just answer the question.” You were about to throw some witty comment back at him until you see the familiar, grainy picture on his phone. You grip your own copy of the photo in your perfectly manicured hand and Chenle notices the motion. His breathing hitches as you try to hide the all-to-familiar photo behind your skirt and he steps forward, eyes on your hand.

“What’s that?” Chenle takes another step forward when you don’t answer, the back of your thighs hit a desk and the sudden feeling makes you sit down on the table. The photo drops to the tile floor and Chenle scoops it up. He could tell it was the same picture from ten feet away, but now that he holds a physical copy of it in his hands, his mind swirls with ideas.

“Let me guess… you know the woman in the photo?”

“I’m guessing you know the man, then?” You ask back and Chenle lets out a pained sigh.

“You can never just answer a question the normal way, can you?” It’s your turn to let out a sigh and you snatch the photo out of Chenle’s hand.

“I don’t know the woman… but she’s in a lot of my family's pictures from a long time ago. In my family, we don’t take pictures with people who have the last name Zhong.” You lean forward during the last line and your tongue practically drips with distaste at the last word. Chenle lets you push him away, but his next comment makes you stop before you leave the room.

“That man in the photo- I don’t know who he is either, but I know he’s somehow involved with my father. If you want to know what happened to the woman, I don’t think it’s something you can figure out alone.” As much as the thought triggers your gag reflex, you have to admit that Chenle is right. If that man is connected to the Zhong’s, Chenle is the best way to get the inside scoop. Your head is telling you no, but your gut is telling you to take the risk.

As if the universe could sense you needed a push, the door suddenly opens to reveal Dr. Krabbenhoft, the Forensics teacher. He’s an old and stout man who smells a bit like mothballs and earl grey tea, but he’s one of the oldest teachers in the University and most likely was teaching speech and debate back in 1982.

“Sir… My apologies for the intrusion. I was hoping to ask you a few questions.” Your eyes sway over to Chenle and you make quick eye contact- an even quicker decision made in your mind. “I mean…. We were hoping to ask some questions.” Chenle then steps forward and Dr. Krabbenhoft looks both of you up and down, scrunches his nose to push his glasses into place, waving at both of you to follow him as he walks further into the classroom.

“I don’t remember either of you in any of my classes.” He lays his briefcase down on desk.

“We’re freshman, we can’t take any of your graduate courses, sir.” Chenle chimes in, his tone different from the bitter one he used to talk to you only a few moments ago.

“Then what questions could you have for me.” As if on cue, Dr. Krabbenhoft notices the picture in your hand. You smooth it out before handing it over; the old man gently grips the paper at the edges and moves it in front of his sight until he sees the grainy image.

“We were wondering if you knew who those people are?” Dr. Krabbenhoft sends both of you a glance over the top of the photograph.

“I know I may look like an ancient relic, but I wasn’t working at this school in 1982. The Forensics teacher at the time was Dr. Jones. She can tell you about these kids.” He hands back the picture and starts sorting through his papers, completely unbothered.

“Where could we find Dr. Jones?” Chenle asks hesitantly.

“The last I heard she was in a nursing home in Parksville.” You and Chenle share another look. This woman could be dead by now, and that could be a major dead end to what is only the beginning of this mystery. You thank Dr. Krabbenhoft on your way out and silently walk down the empty halls.

“So… we’re a “we” now, huh?” Chenle jokes from beside you, knocking you out of your thoughts and making you send him a pursed look with a raised eyebrow.

“We are only working together to figure out who these people are, that’s it.” You concisely define your new relationship. A chill runs down Chenle’s spine and he fixes the silk tie on his uniform to keep his reaction from showing.

“We need to head over to Parksville. There’s only one nursing home there and if Dr. Jones is still alive, we need to ask her some questions.”

“Okay… So, let’s go tomorrow? After classes?” You suggest.

“Meet me in the baseball field parking lot. We can take my car.”

“You really want to meet all the way by the baseball fields?” You stop and turn towards each other.

“Don’t you think it would be a little suspicious if people saw you getting into my car after classes one day? Especially the type of people that attend this University… our parents will hear about it in no time.” Ah, your parents. Of course, wandering around with someone who is your lifelong enemy and taking a trip with him would probably not stand so well with either of your parents. You realize you hate how Chenle keeps making valid points, or maybe you just hate how you can only agree with all of the others who praise him: he really does think about all the details.

“Fine.” Chenle starts to walk again until you speak again. “Just so you know, this is only until we figure out who these people are.”

“What you’re trying to say is… you don’t trust me?” Chenle asks.

“What I’m trying to say is… There isn’t a “we” and there never will be. Let’s make sure we can go back to the way things are after we figure this out. Got it, Lele?”

“Fine, whatever you’d like, Clover.”

The next day, after you changed out of your uniform and Chenle picked you up at the baseball field parking lot, you make your drive to Parksville. The car is quiet, only the radio silently playing in the background and the sound of wind hitting Chenle’s Mercedes-Benz as he drives down the highway. You pull down the sun visor and open the mirror, retouching your make-up; Chenle rolls his eyes when he sees the familiar blue label of “Nuvane” on all of your products from the corner of his eye. The eye roll did not go unnoticed by you, and you spend the entire ride in stubborn silence.

The “Sunny Hillside Retirement Home,” despite the chirpy receptionist and the cheerful name, looks dull: old, slow-tempo jazz music plays, the wallpaper is an incredibly dull yellow color, and several buff men are wearing the same dull yellow polo with “Sunny Hillside Retirement Home Security” printed boldly on the back.

“Hello! Welcome to the Sunny Hillside Retirement Home! How can I help you?”

“Hello, we are looking for Dr. Jones?” Chenle asks. The receptionist tilts her head but her smile stays strangely stable.

“Dr. Maria Jones? Of course, can I ask what your relationship is?” The receptionist starts fiddling around on her desk. You and Chenle take the time to share a look; unfortunately, you both didn’t think this far. If you answer with the truth, they’ll never let you see Dr. Jones, but what lie could you come up with in one shared glance? Thankfully, the receptionist’s assumption answers for you.

“Oh, I’m guessing you’re her grandchild? And you’re the spouse, right?” You didn’t think about the implications of saying you’re married to Chenle, or how stupid the receptionist must be to think that two college freshman are married.

“Yes, we are.”

“Yes, we are.”

Chenle naturally wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you into his side, and you both give a fake, warm smile, pleasing the receptionist. You resist the urge to show surprise on your face as the receptionist hands over your pre-made name tags. Chenle was given the one with “Sam” on it and you got the one with “Amanda” on it. Chenle guides you away from the receptionist’s desk with a hand on your lower back and leans over to whisper in your ear.

“We must be the luckiest people ever because that was way too easy.” You push his arm away, giving it a look of disgust as you walk further into the building.

“Don’t be so lax, someone is supposed to be here instead of us. The receptionist will figure it out soon.”

You and Chenle walk into a living room-looking area; it smelled of medicine and dust, several people were sitting around and watching the television, some were playing board games, and some were looking out the window. You tap Chenle’s arm as you spot Dr. Jones, a perfect older version of her picture from one of the older yearbooks. She looks old in every sense of the word. Her skin sagging and her hair whitening, she looks fragile enough to fall apart if the wind from the open window blew too hard. Walking up to her seat by the window, you gently clear your throat to get her attention.

“Hello, Doctor. I’m Y/N, and this is Chenle. We were hoping we could ask you some questions about some students you once had?” She woman stares at both of you, looking down at your name tags, and opens her wrinkly mouth.

“You kids have nothing better to do than to bother old ladies?” Her boisterous voice blew you and Chenle out of the water and you both physically take a step back, shocked at how deep her face could frown. “Questions? What questions could you want to ask? Are you from the NSA? They really train ‘em young, don’t they?” She continues. You and Chenle look around at the rest of the people in the room, panicking at all the attention that now seems to be thrown your way.

“Whatever it is, it’s not worth my-”

“It’s about these people.” Chenle suddenly pulls out your crumpled piece of paper, catching Dr. Jones attention. Her hand reaches forward and snatches the paper, squinting at the grainy photograph.

“What about them?” She asks.

“Who are they?”

“They were some of the best debaters I have ever taught. I am still proud of what they achieved despite the sins they committed.” She nonchalantly hands the paper back as your and Chenle’s eyes widen at the word “sins.”

“I’m sorry, sins? What sins did they commit.” You ask but before Dr. Jones could answer, your attention is drawn to the slamming doors at the front of the room. The receptionist stands with two security guards at her side, surveying the room until their eyes land on you.

“There, those two.” The receptionist doesn’t seem to be as preppy as she was before, and could even be more angry than the woman sitting in the chair next to you. You freeze as the two security guards march towards you, but Chenle grabs your hand tightly in his own and pulls you through the door at the other end of the room. You hear the stomping of feet from behind you as Chenle rushes you down hallway after hallway in what seems like a labyrinth more than a retirement home.

“Where are we going?” You tug on his hand in an attempt to slow down.

“I’ll tell you when I know.” Chenle stops at a cross in the hallway, looking down all ways before pulling you out of the doors with the big red “EXIT” sign over them. The alarm system screams from behind you and the harsh wind whips at your faces as you run through the parking lot to the car, kicking up the few yellow and orange leaves that have already fallen to the dirty concrete. You and Chenle don’t get a chance to breathe until you're in the car, on the highway heading back home.

“God, that place was a prison.” Chenle heaves and you silently agree, still out of breath.

“I never would have thought that an old lady could have so much pent-up anger.” You sigh and it’s Chenle’s turn to agree with you. Slowly, giggles arise as Chenle thinks about the insane situation you both were in. Before you know what’s going on, you and Chenle are pulled over to the side of the road with unstoppable laughter filling the car.

“Oh, my god.” Chenle gasps and continues to cackle. You try to not shove your fingers in your ears from the loud sounds coming from his mouth.

“What is that?” You ask as he calms down.

“What?”

“That cackling sound?”

“That was laughter… Oh, sorry. You wouldn’t know what that is, right?” You roll your eyes but before you can say anything else, Chenle speaks up again. This time, he sounds a bit insecure. “Is it… annoying?”

“What? No, it’s just different. Good- different.” Chenle turns away to hide his smile at your answer. You've never heard him laugh like that before, not even with his friends at University. You feel a little flutter in your heart from the thought that he let you hear something so raw and pure like his actual laugh. The adrenaline still in your system, you realize this is the first truly teenager-ish and rebellious thing you’ve done, and you did it with Chenle, of all people.

“Lele… Do you think these people actually committed sins? Is that why we don’t know who they are?” The mood in the car shifts with your sudden questions.

“Dr. Jones seems a bit… exaggerated. I think we should take her words with a grain of sand.” Chenle reasons.

“But then… why don’t our families talk about these people if they didn’t do something bad.” You and Chenle think it over; the visit seems to have raised more questions than answers.

“Let’s go home.” Chenle sternly says and starts the car again. The ride back to school is more quiet than the ride to Parksville.

Although it seems like you and Chenle hit a dead end with the visit to Dr. Jones, you refuse to believe the story ends there. After some more research in the yearbook, you find names of other people on the Forensics team from 1982. You’re not surprised to find that most of them moved to other cities and that some of them have already passed away. What you were surprised to find was that one member from the Forensics team was your own neighbor, Paul Reizter. He lives a few houses down from you, and you’re all in for the idea of paying him a visit until Chenle refuses.

“Can you stop being such a walnut, Lele? Mr. Reitzer was on the same team as these people, he probably knew them well. This could be the way to figure out who they are.”

“Absolutely not. He lives two houses away from yours. Two. You’re practically asking to get caught. All your parents have to do is look out the window and they’ll see us, and then what?” You sigh in frustration, all the reasons why you couldn’t stand Chenle in the first place filtering through your mind.

You want to argue that the forest in your backyard and the fact that Mr. Reizter’s house is a gated mansion would make going to his place more discreet, but you keep your mouth shut. The answer to your questions could be, literally, down the street and you wonder if it would be a big deal to visit your neighbor without Chenle. Just the thought of it creates a weird, uneasy feeling in your stomach that makes you retract the statement from your mind. You hate to admit it but after visiting the Sunny Hillside Retirement Home, you started to slightly respect Chenle for his quick thinking under pressure, a skill that you obviously do not possess.

“Fine, we won’t go. Do you have a better idea?”

“I might. But it’s a bit… meticulous.” And that’s how you and Chenle end up at the city registrar's office, a small corner of city hall that doesn’t look like it has been used in several years. The office was stacked high with shelves of newspapers and documents dating back from several decades ago. This time around, you and Chenle thought through your plan carefully before visiting the registrar. You walk in separately, ask for different documents, and sit at different sides of the work room that’s adjacent to the office. Once the registrar left the work space, you and Chenle move to sit together in the far corner of the dusty room.

After taking the time to grimace at the old paper smell and the continuous sound of a fan working in the corner, the work room became your second home over the next few weeks. You spent hours sifting through several different newspapers from 1982 trying to find any traces of your mystery people.

It seems like it was the hundredth time you’ve sighed, the toll of hours of research coming onto you. Chenle walked out of the room a while ago and you cursed him out in your head for leaving to make you do all the work. Almost exactly after that thought, Chenle walks back into the room. He sets down a large cup in front of you and you quizzically stare at it.

“It’s hot chocolate,” He says as he sits and takes a sip from his own cup, “Don’t you know what hot chocolate does?” He muses. You take a sip, the chocolate melts on your tongue and the whipped cream mixes in to make just the right amount of sweetness to calm your frustration.

“No, what does it do?” You ask, almost distracted by the drink in your hands.

“It helps you think better.”

“Yeah, right.” You roll your eyes.

“I’m serious! Just watch, we’ll find something in no time.” You continue your work, and silently appreciate Chenle’s efforts to lift the spirit in the room.

You always take Chenle’s car to the registrar’s office, leaving yours at the school. You once pointed out how it would be less suspicious if you took your own car, making Chenle snort. “I’ve seen how you drive around the parking lot at University, you can’t handle driving through downtown.”

Chenle parks the car and walks out towards the meter. You watch him from inside the car, picking at the meter with his finger before he walks over to you. You slowly roll down your window.

“What’s wrong?” You ask teasingly.

“The parking downtown is expensive and someone told me I can put coins into one of those… things. I don’t have coins, give me some.”

“Expensive parking?” You ask, before your face raises in realization, “Do you mean… parking tickets? Lele, it’s illegal to park here if you don’t put coins into the meter.” He blinks at you with a blank face, as if you were speaking to him in an alien language.

“Whatever. It doesn’t matter. It’s not my car, why should I pay for the meter?” You explain and cross your arms stubbornly.

“C’mon, stop playing.” Chenle whines, a particularly harsh gush of wind blowing his blonde hair over his face as he reaches through the window and shoves your shoulder until you cave.

“Only if I get to drive tomorrow.” Chenle groans at your ultimatum.

“Fine, fine, whatever. Do you have to be like this, Clover?”

“Only for you, Lele.”

Sometimes, after searching through several documents and newspapers for a long time, you and Chenle lean back in your chairs and stare up at the off-white ceiling in almost-defeat, waiting for some motivation to pick you back up.

Chenle’s breathing almost lulls you to sleep. Whenever you blink, all you can see are the printed letters of newspapers in the back of your eyelids.

“This is so hard. I didn’t realize how hard this could be.” You mumble.

“Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” Chenle answers. You pause.

“You know the whole thing about bat poop in mascara? Yeah, that was all an urban myth.” Chenle laughs at your unexpected comment, turning to face you.

“What?” He can’t help but giggle at your how your hair sticks to your face as you turn your head to look at him, and he helps you move it away. “You really are a tree-hugger, huh?”

“What?” Now it’s your turn to be confused.

“You know… the whole thing about Nuvane products being 100% free of animal testing and all that… You’re a tree-hugger.” Chenle explains like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“I think you need to look up what “tree-hugger” means.” You roll your eyes, “Nuvane is 100% free from animal testing. I can swear that fact up and down and I’m proud of it. Thousands of animals are still killed through testing every year, it’s not really funny, Lele.” Your disapproving tone makes Chenle look away, a bit embarrassed at being called out. You bump your knee with his.

“Hey,” He turns to look at you, “My family are not tree-huggers, or whatever, they just don’t stand for that kind of stuff and neither will I.” You turn to focus back on the newspapers, and Chenle can’t help but admire you for a moment. You have a serious value that you uphold, and your pride in yourself makes Chenle admire you more than he already does.

Eventually you try the Internet, but the city’s digital records don’t go as far back as the 80’s. You check newspapers from 1983 and 1984, and expanding out into the nearby towns to see if their newspapers have the information you need. You refused to believe that the only trace of these people are one picture in an old yearbook. Unfortunately, luck was nowhere to be found and researching only became difficult as you proceeded; it was physically hard to keep sitting in the rickety and uneven chairs of the small work room.

Chenle watches you sit up, a hiss coming from your mouth at the feeling of your neck and back pushing into place after so many hours of hunching over papers. Your hands come up to massage the place your shoulders and neck meet as you try to get comfortable in your chair. Chenle barely realizes that he’s out of his seat, gently taking your tired hands in his own. You’re startled, but you let Chenle take control. His own hands replace yours, his delicate but strong piano fingers play a melody on your sore muscles, making you relax and lean your head back into his stomach. You occupy the room in silence for a few moments, Chenle expertly massaging until he realizes what he’s doing and suddenly stops.

“You weren’t doing it right. You’ll hurt yourself if you massage it like that.” He mumbles and sits back in his seat. You try to focus on your own work, but the lingering feeling of his fingers distracts you for the rest of the night.

You and Chenle tried to make the most use of your time, but every day you came back, the registrar seemed to become more and more suspicious of your endeavors. She’s an older woman, her wardrobe seems to consist of only tweed suits, and she wears wire bifocals that leave marks on the side of her nose when she takes them off. At first it seems like she was unbothered by your presence in her office, but after almost two months of research she decides to poke her head into the workroom. It takes you a minute to comprehend her presence and you jump away from Chenle, making him sloppily jump away from you.

“You kids have been camped out here almost every night for the past couple months. I think I now have the right to ask what you’re here for. There must be something I can help you with?” You and Chenle start to deny her request.

“Alright, but if I leave this room I may have to go make a phone call to the local news station. I bet they would be interested in why the two heirs of the biggest make-up companies-”

“Wait.” You tiredly call out when you realize what the registrar was hinting at, checking her name tag as she turns around. You had no idea if her threat held any substance, but you’re too tired to care. “Miss. Rose, we could use your help, but please don’t call anyone.”

“We’re trying to figure out who these people are.” Chenle sluggishly stands up and hands the ripped yearbook page to the registrar. “We haven’t had any luck so far, as you can tell.”

“This is what you’ve been slaving away for?” She tsks. “You could’ve just asked me first. I went to school with your parents. I was a scholarship student.” She explains and hands the photo back. You and Chenle physically slump at the realization that your answers have been this close to you all along. “Well, I was a freshman when these people were seniors. They were very popular while in school. College sweethearts, I think.”

“Wait, wait… they dated?”

“Yes, from the gossip that I heard. It was kind of obvious, too.” Miss. Rose leans against a desk and lifts her head up to the ceiling to remember. “They were always together, sitting at lunch under the apple tree in front of the University…” She trails off.

“Who are they?” You ask. The registrar gives you a perplexed look.

“You really don’t know? She’s your aunt.” Miss. Rose looks at you and then towards Chenle, “and he’s your uncle.”

“No, that’s not possible. I don’t have an uncle.” Chenle refuses and the registrar shakes her head.

“I specifically remember being told to keep away from them because they were one of the sons and daughters of the people who ran Zhongcology and Nuvane.”

“You were told to stay away?” You furrow your brows.

“My parents told me to not associate myself with them... since their companies just formed and I was just a… poor student.” Miss. Rose looks away. “I guess that was a smart idea since they started to rival against each other a few years later…” She trails off, “but that looks like it’s changing?” She smiles suggestively. Before you can deny, she speaks again.

“Why are you looking for these people?” The question threw you and Chenle off guard. Despite the months spent looking for these people, this was a conversation you have yet to share. As if Miss. Rose could sense the tension her question brought, she quickly spoke up.

“It doesn’t matter, you kids better head home. It’s almost nine.”

“Wait.” You call out before she turns around to walk out of the room. “What happened to them? Where are they now?”

“Oh, I’m not sure about that. I didn’t see them during the second semester of that year. I don’t think they ever graduated either.” With that thought, she walks out of the room. As you pack away the files you checked out and put on your coat, you think about the last words Miss. Rose said. “They never graduated.” These people, who are apparently close family that you never knew you had, are out there somewhere. Living their lives and probably not thinking about what they left behind. Do they know you exist? Do they feel guilty about leaving? Why would they want to leave their family?

“What are you thinking about?” Chenle gently nudges your shoulder, and you only now realize that you’re outside, halfway to the car. It’s cold; it feels cold and smells cold and the cloudless night sky does not help heat up the city.

“Why do you want to find out so much about these people?” The repeated question stuns Chenle to his spot and you both stop walking. Your toes are beginning to lose feeling from staying outside for too long. Yet you still face Chenle, who recently dyed his hair a vibrant green color and somehow manages to pull it off with a navy Burberry coat.

“Well… at first I was just confused and curious. Now that I know that man is my uncle… I really want to find where they are.” Chenle admits. You nod and Chenle reciprocates the question. Before you can stop yourself, you let all your thoughts out, forgetting about the history between the two of you. Whatever you were taught to believe about Chenle, you refused to believe now; especially after spending so much time together these past few months.

“I’ve only seen that woman in photo albums… And now… I just want to know who she is. What does it mean that they never came back to finish school? Actually, thinking about it now, can we even trust Miss. Rose? She said she was only a freshman when they were seniors, and she didn’t know them personally-”

“Hey,” Chenle gently grabs onto your elbow. If he was as confused and nervous as you, he didn’t show it.

“We’ll figure it out. We know more now, that’s a good thing, Clover.”

“Yes, but why does it seem that answering one question just leads to four new questions?” You ask and he pulls you closer in response. In the past, you would have shoved him away, threw him a nasty glare and told him to bug off, but now you accepted the close proximity, even leaning towards him more. His cold hands hold your colder cheeks, timidly rubbing comforting circles as if asking if this was okay.

“Whatever it is, whatever happened, we’ll figure it out together. We seem to be good as a pair. Too bad we only found that out now.” He smiles and you offer a weak smile back. The look you give each other lasts longer than expected, and you feel gravity pull you to him. You can’t stop it, it feels too natural; like the pull of the moon to the Earth or the pull of waves to the shore. Chenle’s heart thumps in excitement and want when he realizes the moment is just right, his hands sliding down to hold your neck, but you’re yanked out of the moment by the stark honking of a car.

Jumping away, you both look towards the nearby intersection where two cars angrily honk at each other. You sighed in defeat, but Chenle feels agitated. With the moment broken, you seperate and a new type of cold engulfs both of you. You make your way to the car and the drive home is silent once again.

“Chenle.” A voice from the top of the staircase echoes out into the foyer. Chenle freezes in his steps and quickly turns around. He gives a half-smile to his father who begins to cascade down the staircase wearing his matching Prada robe and slippers, looking like he’s supposed to go to a photoshoot rather than to sleep.

“Where have you been, son? You keep coming home late nowadays.” His father reaches him and pats a heavy hand on his son’s shoulder. Chenle appreciates the gesture, too bad it isn’t sincere. He knows the look on his father’s face: “Tell me the truth, what have you been doing.”

“I’ve been studying at the library.” Chenle half-lies.

“I’m glad to hear that, Chenle. You don’t want to study here?” “Who are you with every night?”

“I would, but I might get distracted.”

“Ah, yes. Focus on school for now. One day, you’ll be in my shoes.” “Don’t let this happen again.”

“Yes, sir.” Once Chenle is secure in the private walls of his room, he lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He doesn’t have many interactions with his father: some in passing in the hallways, some when he visits his office, or some at dinner every once in a blue moon. The intimidating air his father carries makes him a great negotiator and businessman, and a horrible father at the same time. Chenle then remembers the new information he learned just a few hours ago: that man has a brother, a person who has been kept secret from Chenle for his whole life. He feels strands of anger pull at his chest; his father is many things, but he prides himself in not being a liar. Chenle’s head hurts as he thinks about how that’s not the case anymore.

Just as quick as they came, Chenle’s heavy thoughts dissolve when he pulls off his coat and the smell of you permeates through the air. He stands in the middle of his room, shamelessly pushing the coat into his nose to smell more. He sighs as he pulls it away from his face, thinking about what could’ve happened on that sidewalk if the cars didn’t bother you. His tummy goes static and his heart swells, making him close his eyes in bliss at just the thought of pulling you close and feeling your lips on his own.

Chenle was sure he began to feel these feelings for you as soon as he realized you’re not what his parents told him you are. You’re not a reckless, lying tree-hugger, but a compassionate and hard-working person with a love for animals. He feels that anger come back to him; he has been lied to for so long by the people he trusted. Chenle would feel lost and confused right now, but he knows he has you, no matter how much either of you want to deny it. He thinks about you some more as he gets ready for bed, and when he lays in his dark and silent room, he smiles at what tomorrow could bring.

Little does Chenle know, on the other side of the mansion, his father walks into his office after his encounter with Chenle, and situates himself behind his large desk. Liwei Zhong’s office mirrors his personality perfectly: dark velvet curtains covering the windows and the desk chair, mahogany wood cabinets with neatly filed papers, and not a speck of dust to be seen. Leaning back in his chair, Liwei pushes a blue button on his phone, and one of the butlers of the mansion glides through the doors.

“How can I assist you, sir?”

“Find out where Chenle has been going in the evening. I don’t care how you do it, but I need hard evidence.”

“Right away, sir.” The butler exits the room as quick as he entered and Liwei glances over at the portrait of his family that hangs over the burning fireplace. He’s standing behind Chenle’s mother with an indifferent hand on her shoulder and Chenle sits next to her; the picture was taken years ago when Chenle was beginning high school. Despite the youth in his face, he held seriousness in his eyes and it made Liwei’s chest fill with pride. He pulls out a picture of his brother that sat snugly in his desk drawer, holding it up to the portrait. If only there was a fourth person who could be added…. He sighs and throws the picture back into the drawer. His son, whatever he was doing, was not going to be put to waste like his brother was. Liwei can’t do anything for his brother now, but he can do something for his son.

Step 2: Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake

The next day, Chenle walks through the courtyard at school, a pep in his step and a smile on his face. Chenle’s good day started the moment he woke up thinking about you, excited to see you today. He practically runs up the stairs and races down the hallways towards your locker. Approaching you with so many other people around was risky, but a discrete wave to each other every morning has become routine and something Chenle looks forward to. When he rounds the corner, the sight in front of him made him stop dead in his tracks. His good morning was officially ruined.

Yangyang, your incredibly fun and loud chemistry partner came up to you to talk about the recent lab. Your mind was still reeling through the events of yesterday (not just the information you learned from the registrar, but the near kiss with Chenle) and you didn’t even realize he was speaking to you.

“Y/N?” Yangyang asks and the sound of your name broke you out your thoughts.

“Yang? Oh, gosh, you were talking to me, weren’t you? I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. What’s wrong? You look troubled.” Yangyang was such a pure soul, so happy and innocent. You decide to spare him the unwanted details.

“I just have a lot on my mind, and I didn’t get that much sleep.” Both statements are technically correct. Not the full truth, but Yangyang didn’t need to worry about it. He pulls you into a hug, a very Yang-type thing to do, and holds you back at arms length after he feels you relax.

“It’s okay, Y/N. Whatever it is, you’ll figure it out, you have a good brain up there.” He ruffles your hair and it makes you laugh.

“And,” he leans in, making you lean in also, “I’ll let you sleep behind your book in chemistry today if you let me copy your notes from last week.”

“Deal.” You both giggle and Yangyang waves as he walks away. A flash of green catches your attention and you turn down the hallway. Chenle was staring at you, eyes wide and mouth set in a stern line. You smile stiffly and wave, but he doesn’t wave back. Only giving you a nod, he turns and runs down a different hallway. You furrow your eyes, a new feeling creeping into the concoction that’s already in your chest- anxiety. What if you screwed things up with Chenle last night? You don’t have too much time to think about it when you realize your next class starts in five minutes.

Chenle spends his morning classes thinking about the interaction he saw between you and the guy from this morning. The way he hugged you and leaned in to you and you both laughed. It rose the ugly green monster of jealousy in his stomach and no matter how much he tried to push it down, Chenle couldn’t. He realized there was still a large gap between you and him that was created by the social pressure to hate each other, since that’s what your relationship has been so far. He thought you both had come further than that; he wanted that gap gone.

So instead of having lunch, Chenle went to the library where he knew you would be. Once he sees your belongings laying at a table, he throws his stuff down and walks down aisle after aisle, peeking down the rows until he sees you leaning a shoulder against a bookcase with all of your attention on the book in your hands. Chenle takes a deep breath, finding whatever courage he could muster to move his feet to you. The movement causes you to look up, just in time to watch Chenle gently take the book out of your hands and set it down on the bookshelf somewhere behind you. He comes closer to you- close enough to push you back into the bookcase and brace yourself against it. Your heart beats wildly as he stares at you with so much confidence and boldness, you can barely think about anything else except how close he is to you.

“Let’s finish what we started.” He whispers and you barely have time to breathe before his lips are on yours. He snakes an arm around your waist to pull you against him while the other hand pulls at the ends of your hair. His lips mesh with yours so perfectly, you barely have to think when you kiss him. He pulls you closer like he can’t get enough and kisses you harder, patience and self control leaving both of you as time goes on.

“I’ve been waiting for this.” Chenle mumbles between breathes for air, opening his eyes for long enough to see the glossed over look in your eye, and quickly diving back into the dessert that is your lips. The words repeat in your head and send butterflies straight through your chest and to your stomach.

Suddenly, the clatter of books somewhere in the library brings you both back to earth. You try to jump away but Chenle holds you close, the hand that was in your hair now holding your jaw to keep you looking at him. His green hair sticks up and you only now realize that it was your doing, both of your lips a bright red color from all the rushed activity. You bite your lip as you think about the dirty actions you just committed and Chenle finds it to be the cutest thing ever.

“C’mon, let’s go to my car.”

“Your car?”

“Yeah, where else are we going to continue this?”

When the pictures land on Liwei’s desk, his continuance first washes over with anger and then betrayal. Grabbing the pictures in a tight fist, he flips through them, the anger spreading and churning. Pictures of his son pushing his enemy's daughter against the bookshelves with lips interlocked, pictures of them walking out of school to his son’s car, more pictures and more anger. Chenle’s father dismisses the man who delivered them, and promptly throws the pictures across the room once the door shuts. He paces in front of the fireplace pensively as he smooths his hair back; whatever was going on between the two of you, Liwei cannot let it continue. He cannot let Chenle think it’s okay to lie to him, he cannot let this type of insubordination take place under his own nose. Liwei pushes the blue button on his phone once again, a butler cooly walks through the door a second later.

“Tell Moon to release the file.”

“Which file, sir?”

“He’ll know what I mean.”

“Right away, sir.” And with that, the butler leaves the dark room, letting Liwei marinate in his own frustration.

It was everywhere, it spread like a virus. The news was on the tip of everyone's tongue, the twisted information spreading like vines on a brick wall, but much, much faster. You heard it on the radio as you were studying one night.

“This just in, a new report has been released from an old employee of Nuvane stating that Nuvane has been using animals to test their products before sending them to consumers. This company, who has been a known leader in animal-free testing...” you couldn’t even hear the rest, your heart beating too loud to pay attention to anything else. You reach for your phone, fingers shaking as you type in your passcode and press the call button on your father’s contact.

“Honey, I wish I could talk to you right now but there’s a situation-”

“So it’s true?” You try to keep your voice even, but the pregnant pause from the other side of the line releases a whine from your lips. “Oh, my god. It’s true?”

“No. No, it’s not.”

“Then why did you hesitate?”

“Listen, I don’t have time right now. We’ll talk about this when I get home.” and the line cuts. You stare at your phone, not believing your father hung up on you. The news then hits you, cutting through you with a knife that lets you know one of your oldest and strongest values has a foundation as shaky as a leaf. Before you can think of anything else, you stumble into the bathroom, barely turning on the lights and dropping your phone onto the counter. The water that runs out of the tap is close to burning hot, but you don’t let that stop you as you scrub your face raw with whatever make-up remover was closest to you. You’re not sure what’s more effective, the remover or your tears, but when you turn off the water and look at yourself in the mirror, strands of your hair and the front of your shirt are soaked from the frenzy. The rims of your eyes burn from the friction and your skin is rubbed into a red color that makes it look like you just ran a marathon. Despite the endless scrubbing, your face still feels dirty, tainted. You fear that feeling won’t go away anytime soon.

The events that progress on only happen within a few short weeks: You don’t go back to classes, the fear your parents have of you being ridiculed and bullied too great to overcome the need for you to become an heir, especially since there is no need for an heir if there is no company. Your father explained that Nuvane will be going bankrupt by the end of the year due to stocks dropping and several strikes against their products, leaving them out of business. Unless, by some miracle, the report is withdrawn and redacted by whoever released it in the first place.

The report, which your parents assured you was fake, left you stunned for two reasons. Firstly, that you could go back on your family’s word and be sent into the type of episode that you had instead of believing your father. It made you think about where your loyalties lay, and how they might have been skewed because of your recent activities with a certain someone. Secondly, if the report was fake, then the person or group who released it must have some sort of vendetta against the company or against your family.

You can’t help but let some tears fall down your cheeks at the thought of this having to do with the Zhong’s.

You didn’t need to communicate with Chenle about stopping your little investigation, the message of you not returning to classes and the photographs in the news of your family walking to and from the lawyer's office with bowed heads, despite not being guilty, proved enough to both of you that solving the mystery should be put on hold. Still, Chenle was curious about several things: The fact that you swore up and down that you would never wear make-up from a brand that abused animals made it hard to believe that Nuvane could pull off something like this without you knowing about it. Of course, Chenle couldn’t assume anything, but he would like to say he knows you better- he knows you aren’t a liar.

At one point in time, Chenle hated when you would make huge mental leaps, but now it was his turn to take the jump. Which leads him to the same conclusion as you: someone who doesn't like your family or their company is out for you, and he can’t help but think of his own.

He turns up at his father’s oak door, a hand raised, ready to knock whenever he gets enough grit to move his wrist. A wave of courage overtakes him, and knocking fills the hallway as Chenle waits for his father’s permission to enter. When Chenle walks in, the room is as dark and musty as ever, and he wonders what your father’s study looks like. Is it the same maroon and ebony color scheme with dread dripping down the walls? He wonders how you’re doing, a thought he’s been having a lot lately, but quickly shakes it off as he approaches his father’s desk.

“Son, what can I help you with.” His father had the lightest smile on his face and it scares Chenle. He only smiles when he’s happy, which is not a regular occurrence.

“I was wondering…” Chenle trails off and his father gives him a stern look.

“Chenle, what did I tell you about that look on your face? If you’re unsure about something, why say anything in the first place. It makes you look weak.” His father turns back to the papers on his desk, no longer entertained by Chenle’s presence. Chenle feels a streak of frustration burn a stripe through his chest and he let out his thoughts, uncertainty and fear out of sight.

“The scandal with Nuvane. I want to know the truth.”

“What truth? The truth is that they have been testing on animals this entire time, this report just allowed everyone to see that.” Chenle’s father continues his work and Chenle continues with his incessant grilling. “You hate them so much, I wouldn’t be surprised if you had something to do with that report.” Chenle dares to suggest, earning a glance from his father over his papers. The man drops them and opens a drawer in his desk, all while keeping steady eye contact with Chenle. The photographs land in front of Chenle, and despite the darkness of the room, he sees them clearly. His stomach plummets. There’s pictures of him pushing you up against the library bookshelves, completely unaware of the world around him and oblivious to the photographer that was taking pictures of this private moment. Chenle first felt embarrassment, which turns into confusion, which turns into anger.

“And you seem to love their daughter a lot.” Lewei states but Chenle can’t seem to look him in the eye, all previous confidence lost. “Let me ask you something, Chenle. Was it worth it? Was it worth dating some girl for a while just for it to end up like this. Look at what you made me do. Her family is probably going bankrupt. If she knew about these… she’ll probably blame you for the rest of her life-”

“Don’t.” Chenle manages to growl out.

“Don’t twist yourself into a knot, Chenle. Take this situation as a lesson to be learned. Your enemies are your enemies for a reason.” Hatred fills Chenle to the brim and he feels like he’s drowning in it, like he can’t breathe and his father is the one that pushed him into it all.

“Why did you do this?” These are the only words that Chenle can say at this point.

“There are some things you don’t know- you can’t know about.” With that, Chenle’s father gathers up the spilled photos, tucking them back into his cabinet and shoo-ing Chenle off. He numbly walks out of the office, his father’s last words hover over his head. There is something Chenle doesn’t know, and it’s finally time to find out.

You didn’t expect to be back in the small registrar’s work room so soon, but the light green letter that was slid into your families mail caught your eye the second it came in; you find yourself sneaking out into downtown that night. Your beanie covers your hair and your scarf covers your face as the strong wind blew you into the registrar’s office. She smiles somewhat sympathetically and continues to look at her book as you pass by. Chenle was leaning against a desk when you walk into the familiar work room, foot bouncing up and down with nerves.

“You came.” He sounds surprised. You slowly take off your winter gear as you sit down.

“Yeah, you said you had something to say.” Chenle almost couldn’t recognize you as he takes a good look at your face. Not only do you look tired, you sound like it, too. Your usual good posture is gone and your eyes look dead. Chenle walks closer to you and kneels down in front of you, turning your fatigued frame to face him.

“How are you?” He asks, not knowing where to start. Chenle reaches up with a gentle thumb pad to trace over a scab on your cheek. “What is this?”

“It’s nothing.” You try to look away, but Chenle gently cups your cheeks in his hands and turns you to face him again. You try to look away, but Chenle cranes his neck to make eye contact.

“Please, tell me what happened. I’m worried about you.”

“I scrubbed all the make-up off my face when I heard the news…” You trail off, not needing to finish. Chenle’s heart chips a bit, he slowly leans in to place a lingering kiss over the scab. You look so worn out; the worst thing is that Chenle can do nothing about it, and that’s what hurts.

“It’s all fake. You know it’s fake, right?” Chenle almost pleads to you. You nod your head, looking like you just need to be held right now. Chenle pulls you off the chair and down on the floor in front of him, wrapping you in his embrace; the floor was cold and dirty but you don’t care. Chenle tucks you away under his chin, and kisses the top of your head as you wrap your arms around his middle, hiding away from everything else in the world. He holds you for awhile, and you don’t realize how much you needed another human’s contact these past few weeks, specifically Chenle’s.

“I know, but how do you?” Chenle tenses at your question, and you pull away when you feel the change.

“That’s what I want to talk to you about.” You start to grow nervous at the look on his face. “But you have to promise not to freak out.”

“With the way you’re looking at me, I don’t think I can promise anything.” Chenle nods, preparing himself for your reaction.

“I talked with my dad,” The pause between his next words is almost unbearable. “He’s the one who released that report.” You completely unravel yourself from him to look him fully in the face.

“Why?” The question is simple, but Chenle has a hard time answering. For once in your life you don’t want to jump to conclusions, so you wait for him to respond.

“I was followed… that day in the library,” Chenle can see the gears turning in your head, “And there were some pictures taken of us that my dad saw.” A chill runs down your spine; you can only imagine what kind of pictures his father has his hands on. Embarrassment slowly overtakes what seems like every empty cavity in your body.

“So that’s why he released that… that fake report? We’re the reason-”

“No, no. This is not your fault-”

“Damn right, it’s not my fault.” You slightly push yourself away from him. Chenle cringes at how the words that came out of his mouth must sound to you.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“We caused this, Chenle.”

“No. What I’m trying to say is that it's not our fault. My dad should have never released that report because of what we did. That’s not fair to us.” Chenle thinks back to the words his father told him: “Look at what you made me do.” Neither of you did anything wrong, it was a few kisses. No one had any right to invade your privacy like this.

“Does it really matter now. That screwed my family over.” You wail out, “Nuvane is probably going bankrupt by the end of the year, Chenle. That’s it, I’m done after that. All because you couldn’t keep your lips to yourself” You spat out, the stress and anger shakes your shoulders and you feel like you could explode.

“Are you telling me you regret it.” Chenle asks as you stand up. He looks so small in front of you right now, but you’re too mad and embarrassed to care. “Because I don’t.” He finishes. Your head hurts too much and you were too confused to answer, which hurts Chenle, but he continues.

“We can still figure out what happened to those people in the picture-” You groan at the mention of the photograph, wiping the stubborn tears that fell down your neck.

“Chenle, do you think that’s what’s on my mind right now? I don’t think that what happened to those people can save anyone now.”

“We need to at least try, if we know where those people are we’ll have more than what we do now.”

“No, Chenle. I said I’m done, I mean it.” And with that, you put your coat and hat back on. “For the record, I didn’t regret kissing you. But now, I’m not so sure.” You turn and storm out of the work room, leaving Chenle’s heart worn out from your hasty confession.

The next day, Chenle approaches the mansion with the last of his hope. The electronic gates part and he drives through to the front entrance of the grand house. It snowed overnight, a hefty five inches covered the house and the yard; winter never looked more persistent than at this moment. Walking through the front door, an attendant leads him to a large tea room with light filtering in through the curtains and the smell of matcha mixed with old books fills the stagnant air. The man who Chenle is here to visit sits in a chair by a large window as he reads his book, his legs crossed and glasses perched on his nose. The attendant who led him here introduces Chenle, but the man does not pay any attention. Chenle gives the attendant a confused look but he walks away, leaving Chenle to stand awkwardly in the middle of the room.

“Well sit down, have some tea. Don’t stand there like a log.” Chenle is startled by the man’s voice but does what he is told, and the man continues to look at his book. “What are you here for, Chenle.”

“I have a question about one of your old classmates.”

“Which one?” Chenle reaches into his pocket to pull out his phone, pulling up the picture he took months ago and handing it over to Paul Reitzer. Despite what Chenle told you months ago about visiting Mr. Reitzer, he had no idea who else could solve the mystery of these missing people. He sent you an apology through his head this morning; he knows you’re mad at him and he hopes you’ll forgive him for everything he has done. Mr. Reitzer nods as he looks at the picture.

“I was wondering, where are they?”

“You are very straightforward, you know that, Chenle? You also seem like you stay true to your word.” The comment sent Chenle off guard as he looks around the room in confusion, anywhere but at the man in front of him.

“I… guess?”

“I am about to answer a lot of questions for you, I will need something in return.” This makes Chenle sigh. People like him are always out for something. Although Chenle didn’t understand why this information is kept so tightly hidden, it was starting to be irritating.

“What do you need?”

“Just for you to promise not to say where you got this information from.” The man finally turns to Chenle, startling him at the sudden attention.

“I promise. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Good.” The man stands up and walks to a bookshelf, running his fingertips over some spines before hooking a book with his finger and swiftly pulling it out. A photo album is set into Chenle’s hands with several pictures of the man in front of him and the two people from the photograph Chenle knew so well.

“Jun Zhong would be your uncle, and Lena Wilson was his girlfriend. We were close friends. All three of us were on the Forensics team, we spent almost all of college together.”

“They really did date.” Chenle continues to flip through the photos. They seemed to begin at the beginning of college and continue through the years. Chenle watches as the three friends grew up picture after picture, holding trophies, eating food, and simply sitting around, laughing.

“Yes, they did. For a long time. I thought they were perfect for each other, I wished I could fight and quarrel about stupid little things with someone and still embrace them in my arms and laugh it all off in the end. It is a special type of love that you should not let go.” The words rang through Chenle’s head, his heart suddenly heavy as thoughts of you invade his mind.

“Their parents never liked the two of them dating, and they never wanted to be the heirs of their family company. They tried to run away.” Chenle looks up in shock. Run away? Is that why they never graduated from Carlston? “They failed.” Mr. Reitzer finishes and Chenle gulps at the ominous words.

“What do you mean?”

“They ran away in the middle of the night before New Years Eve. They slid on some black ice on their way out of town and crashed into a tree. The car caught on fire.” He collects the photos from Chenle as he sits back in shock. Chenle has more thoughts running through his mind, but one rose above the rest: He understood why they would want to run away. If you ask Chenle about his future four months ago, he would’ve proudly told you he wanted to be the President of Zhongcology. Now, Chenle could only think about how his father lied to him and blamed him for your family’s downfall. He would be anything but proud and happy to take over the family company.

“I’m sorry. I have to go.” Chenle stands up and backs out of the door, an absentminded “thank you” leaving his lips as he practically runs out of the house to his car and throws himself into the driver’s seat as his mind races with ideas. The death of both of these people has to be the reason the fight between his parents and yours started- Chenle was sure of it. He shakingly picks up his phone, calling you over and over again. Once he realizes you aren’t going to pick up, he flings his phone into the passenger seat and speeds home.

Step 3: When you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love

The gala is in full swing. The chandelier shining over the whole foyer, where people of high social status roam with their respective plus ones on their arms. Several people showed up for the last big hurrah of Nuvane. It was surprising how many of these people were trash talking your family’s company only weeks ago, but can turn around and flash a charming smile at your mother and father when they bring up giving away the assets of the company. It was your parents’ last way of making some fast money before shutting down production of Nuvane products. The company your family has built from the ground up decades ago will soon crumble, and you can’t help but be confused; Chenle was right, this isn't your fault. Then why did you feel so guilty?

Your royal blue Dolce and Gabbana dress cinches your waist and your Cartier diamond earrings are as heavy as your broken heart. You stay near your parents the whole night, the memories of what happened several days ago with Chenle repeating through your mind on a loop as you mindlessly talk to people who come up to you. You have yet to tell your parents the new information that Chenle told you, not really sure how to bring it up and scared of the consequences when you do. Suddenly, attention turns towards the front doors as the Zhongs enter. You nervously crane your neck to look for Chenle, but when you don’t see him walking with his father and mother you quickly lose interest. The inquiring eyes from other guests glance over as they walk up to your mother and father to start “friendly” conversation.

Attention is drawn to the front doors as they open once again, this time louder and not as elegant. The sip you took of your bubbly drink almost spews out of your mouth as Chenle runs in, tuxedo disheveled and his new brazenly-dyed orange hair making him stand out from everyone else. The room quiets down as Chenle shuffles through the people scattered around to reach you, his eyes looking at you only. He can’t help but admire how beautiful you look, the light from the room makes your skin glow and the color of your lipstick makes Chenle hungry for more kisses. Your heart lifts in your chest when he’s only a few steps away, he has the same look in his eyes as the day he approached you in the library. Liwei calls out before Chenle gets too close.

“Chenle! Don’t you dare take another step.” His voice booms throughout the foyer. Chenle’s familiarity made you want to dive into his arms, bury your face into his chest, and hide from it all, but you remember the last conversation you had. You were probably not his favorite person right now, but the past week spent without him, knowing that you said the things that you did out of anger and not truth, was killing you. You need him to know you didn’t mean it. He was so close, yet so far.

“Stop all of this. I know why you and the Y/L/N’s are fighting.” Quiet murmurs fill the previous silence and you try to get Chenle’s attention, but it’s no use as he walks towards both of your families. You watch his adam’s apple move as he gulps, but it doesn’t seem like anyone else notices his nerves.

“Your brother, Jun and your sister, Lena… I know all about them.” Chenle continues, “How they dated in college, how they tried to run away, how they died in that horrible car accident.” Your eyes widen along with the rest of the audiences at Chenle’s story.

“Lele… Is it true?” You whisper to him coming closer, until your mother grabs your wrist and pulls you away.

“Yes, Clover. It’s all true.” You never would’ve guessed that stupid nickname would make you feel relieved, but somehow you relax under Chenle’s soft gaze.

“Can you please control your son.” Your mother’s voice raises over the voices of the chattering guests. Liwei approaches Chenle and grips his elbow, pulling him away as if the strong grip could contain Chenle’s wrath and confidence.

“No.” He pushes himself away from his father. “What is all this fighting for? These decades of hating each other, what has it accomplished? Has it brought Jun and Lena back? Has it made you feel better about yourselves?” Chenle accuses.

“How did you even find out about this. What have you been telling him.” Your father points an accusatory finger at the Zhongs and they turn to Chenle for an answer. Everyone leans in to listen, and Chenle suddenly doesn’t feel as confident or big as before.

“I… can’t say.” The crowd grumbles at Chenle’s answer and he looks at you again. You know this look; he’s asking you to trust him- to have faith in him.

“I have been trying to figure out who Jun and Lena were.” You speak up and your mother and father looking at you in shock. “With Chenle. We’ve been doing it… together.”

“That’s what we were supposed to be doing in those pictures.” Chenle whispers to his father, but the comment was overheard by your father.

“Pictures? What pictures?” Your eyes widen.

“Chenle.” You hiss quietly, and he gives you a pointed look.

“You didn’t tell them about the pictures?”

“Not yet!” You hiss back. After a moment of silence, Liwei’s low laughter fills the foyer.

“Oh, the pictures? You mean the ones of you two in the library? Chenle pushing you against the bookshelves, kissing each other? Or the ones of what you did in the car afterward-”

“Stop.” Chenle whispers, but the crowd’s reaction covers up his voice.

“You sick bastard!” Your mother shrieks.

“Y/N… Is this true?” Your father asks. You bite your lips and try to look away, but the betrayal in your father’s eyes is too strong for you. Despite that, you don’t feel guilty anymore. Maybe it’s because Chenle still seems to be on your side, or maybe it’s because of the fact that the family feud had been about something as unstoppable and unfixable as the death of your relatives.

“Yes, it’s true.” You stand your ground.

“I thought we raised you better than that. I am so disappointed in you.” The quiet anger your father radiates sends a chill of fear through your spine, but is quickly replaced by the stuffy feeling of wanting to cry. It was unfair; other than meeting each other behind your parents’ backs, which was something you were forced into doing, you and Chenle didn’t do anything wrong. You were about to retaliate before your father held up a hand.

“I’ve had enough. I can’t let this continue, not with what our family is going through right now.”

“Dad…”

“No, you need some time away from all this, it’s obviously made you lose your mind. You’ll be staying with your grandparents from now on.”

“What!” You yell out, “You mean… in Canada?” The look your father gives you makes you assume you are right and your jaw drops. You couldn’t believe he thinks you’re the crazy one. You have not lost your mind, if anything, you see more clearly than before.

“No, wait, sir-” Chenle spoke up when he realizes that your father was serious about sending you away. The chatter of the audience rose when your mother tries to push you out of the room. Chenle reaches forward to grab onto any part of you that he could, but you could only send him a pleading look at you’re whisked up the stairs and Chenle is held back.

“Chenle, let’s leave.” His mother spoke from behind him, but he’s still trying to understand the events of what just happened. Your parents were really going to send you off to some other country, just like that? And for what, some pictures that were taken of you and him?

Chenle turns and runs out of the house, grabbing his coat and scarf along the way. He runs on the path that led around to your backyard garden, jumping over ice chunks as he rushes through your lawn. Once he reaches the area of your backyard under your bedroom window, he yells out your name, his voice cracking from the cold. When there’s no response, he gathers up some snow and throws it at your window.

The window opens a few moments later, your head peeking out.

“Clover!” Chenle yells again, this time in relief. “Let’s go.” He calls out.

“What?” You answer.

“I said let’s go.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere, somewhere other than this place. Those people are crazy, Clover. They want to send you to Canada! C’mon, we can find somewhere to go. I know you might hate me, but I can’t stand the thought of leaving you here with these people. You don’t deserve this kind of life.” Chenle calls up to you.

“I’m sorry!” You shout down to him, and Chenle squints in confusion.

“Why?”

“What I said, about regretting that kiss. I don’t regret it, not one bit. I was just… angry and embarrassed.” The cold, winter air stills around Chenle as he digests your confession. “I don’t hate you, Lele. I think… It may be the opposite.” He felt tears prick at his eyes as he looks up to you, your upper body hanging out of the window as you shout your confession.

“Do you trust me? Because I trust you. Fuck, this might be the wrong time to be telling you this, but here I go.” Chenle sighs and you lean a bit farther out of the window to hear him.

“I think all the shitty things we have been taught about our families have been... untaught by spending so much time together. Not just untaught, I relearned. I learned how the things I once hated about you, that those are the things I love now. Yeah, I love you. And if you leave for Canada I know there’s not a chance I’ll ever see you again. I’d rather take the chance to get out of this city than to stay here without you.” Delicate snowflakes fall from the dark sky as Chenle confesses his love to you, laying it all out for you to either catch or throw away. You can't believe what you’re about to say, but you want it, too. You want to get out of this town and go. Most importantly, you want to do it with Chenle.

“Okay... Let’s go.”

Your elegant dress is thrown down onto your bedroom floor as you change into jeans and a sweater, not giving the room a second glance as you climb down the side of your house. The flimsy coat you grabbed before leaving barely did anything to keep you warm, but you keep running through the forest behind your backyard like you can’t feel the frostbite nipping at your skin. The trees in front of your path were only illuminated by the moon and the stars, your breath fogging in front of you as the small specks of snow land on your hair and eyelashes. Despite the burning of your lungs and muscles, the cold snow that reaches halfway up your shins keeps you cold.

“Chenle, wait. Slow down.”

“No, we don’t have time.” The rising of your knees to run through the snow was tiring and Chenle’s hand that tightly held yours practically pulls you through it all. Chenle looks behind him at your freezing figure, suddenly stopping despite his previous words. He takes off his scarf, wrapping it around your exposed neck and tucking it into your coat.

"Lele, you're gonna freeze." You say, noticing how his neck is now exposed, his skin turning more pale than usual.

"I'll be fine, as long as you're okay, Clover." The words warm you up, but you don’t get another second of rest as Chenle grabs your hand and pulls you further through the forest; you’re not sure if he knows where he’s going, but you trust him. Eventually, the sound of passing cars pulls Chenle into one direction, and you’re thrown out of the forest and onto a highway. Chenle pulls you down the street until you see the sight of his familiar car haphazardly parked on the side of the road.

He hastily retrieves his keys from inside his tuxedo jacket and opens the passenger door. He helps you in and buckles your seatbelt, grabbing the sides of your cold cheeks with his numb fingers and pressing his lips to yours for just a second before pulling away. His lips sends warmth through you that makes running through a snowy forest and the cold you’ll get later worth it. Before he can get too far, you grab his hands and pull him back.

“I love you, too.” You confess. “I can’t believe you said it first.”

“I’ll never let you live it down, Clover.” He grins, and leans in again, pressing his lips to yours several more times, relishing in the simple fact that it’s something he can do now, without restraint- without the eyes of anyone watching. He closes your door and rounds the car to the driver’s side, starting the car and driving onto the highway. You and Chenle drive out of town, to the next city, and the next one after that- not stopping until the sun rises and you don’t know where you are. For once, the car is not filled with silence, but of music from the radio that’s turned all the way up, of Chenle’s shrieking laughter as you tell him story after story from your childhood, and of your kisses that you press to his hands to warm them up.

City after city, one highway to the next, your hand on his over the middle console. The nerves of a pair of runaway covered by the beating of your heart, thumping with adrenaline, love, and contentment. You are free.

Indeed, keep your friends close but your enemies closer; until your enemy becomes your friend, and that friend becomes your lover: this is the intricate art of being enemies.

»»————-✧༺♥༻♛༺♥༻✧————-««

[threeletterslife]

Our Love Like Fibonacci

→ summary: Namjoon likes to solve the never-ending Fibonacci Sequence. The act is reassuring, satisfying, even. It reminds him that there are things other than his life that are never-ending.

→ pairing/rating: namjoon x reader | PG-13

→ genre: 95% mellow angst, 5% fluff | reincarnation!au & immortal!au

→ warnings: death, very brief mention of suicides

→ wordcount: 2.5k

→ a/n: thank you to the wonderful @aaugustlee​, @fangirlfeelz​ and @meowxyoong​ for beta reading!

♫: Jamais Vu by BTS | Something Better (feat. Lady Antebellum) by Audien

cr. 

There is no one on this Earth who has endured more misfortune than Kim Namjoon. Namjoon likes to tell himself that he is in a blessed curse. For more than one thousand years, Namjoon's been stuck at the age of seventeen. He has not aged one single bit physically, but his mind has gone through much more than what an average man would experience in his lifetime. Namjoon's known disastrous conflict, suffered through world wars, survived global pandemics and loved only one woman in his life.

That woman is you.

For 1,026 years, Namjoon has been a man of change. He has accustomed himself to more than thousands of cultures around the world, learned hundreds of languages and fought through the perils of social media in the recent twenty-first century. But if one thing hasn't changed at all; that's you.

You're fated to die at the tender age of seventeen—the same age that Namjoon is stuck in for all of eternity. And fate so happens to bring you and Namjoon together every time. Just a week before your death, you are always scheduled to meet this immortal Kim Namjoon. You are to fall in love with him in seven days and convince yourself that you will live with him forever and ever. Then the universe will cruelly take your life.

Namjoon's watched you die many times. Sometimes, he is unable to hold you in his arms when you're at your very last breaths. Other times, he is with you when you die. Fate is random and strikes when Namjoon least expects it.

When you die, Namjoon must wait another decade until you are reborn. Then he must wait another seventeen years until you turn of age. But those first ten years are always the hardest because he knows you do not even exist in the world anymore; the universe feels empty without you. The day you are always born, the fateful, magical day of November 23rd, Namjoon celebrates it by himself and wishes you a happy birthday from afar. He would then wait seventeen years until fate brings the two of you together a week before your death.

Namjoon gets to see you for seven days after waiting for twenty-seven years. It's an unfair deal on his part, but it is also written in the stars somewhere above his reach that you will always fall in love with him. That is the only blessing in this curse.

Sometimes, he has a rocky start with you. The third time you were reborn, Namjoon had accidentally confessed his curse to you. You were confused, weirded-out, astonished. But two days later, you'd forgotten what he told you and became madly in love with the man. Other times, you fall in love with Namjoon from the first glance. It is always a mystery.

In fact, you are always an enigma.

Though your physical features never change, in some way or another, every time Namjoon meets you, you are another person. People are the product of their environment. Namjoon's seen you born as a daughter of a rich businessman, a princess from an obscure country, a prisoner of war, a peasant in the medieval times, and most often a middle-class citizen in hundreds of different countries. Every time, you are a different person with different values.

Before Namjoon was cursed, he thought it had been impossible to love someone through their changes. But fate has proved him wrong enough. After he's seen thirty-seven different versions of you, Namjoon is sure that he would love you no matter who you became. His love for you transcended time and bled into eternity.

He is always hit by a sense of nostalgia or what he likes to call, jamais vu, when he first sees you. He recognizes you, knows you, but you are always unfamiliar to him in the beginning. Even so, in his heart, Namjoon knows he is destined to be with you—even if it were for only seven days in twenty-seven years.

Twenty-seven years is a lot of time. Namjoon has accumulated a lot of strange, time-consuming habits. He counts sheep before he falls asleep every night. He's read every book in the Library of Congress. He learns and masters a new language every few months. He likes to listen to a lot of music to experience the changes between generations first-hand. But most of all, he likes to solve the never-ending Fibonacci Sequence.

0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8... The pattern continues on for eternity and Namjoon finds it amusing. Most people stop before they reach a number of over a million. Namjoon's been adding numbers so large these days, they can fill up a whole document when typed out. Now the digits are too long to plug into a calculator, so he's been adding the numbers himself. The act is reassuring, satisfying, even.

It reminds him that there are things other than his life that are never-ending.

This year marks your 38th reincarnation. You are a curious, intuitive high-schooler with hopes as big as your eyes and an intellect as sharp as a freshly crafted sword. This time, you are from a privileged upper-middle-class family, born as an only child and pampered with kisses and words of encouragement from your parents. You ask Namjoon a lot of questions.

How am I only meeting you now? Where are you from? Why do you know so much about history? How many languages do you really know? Why do you look so familiar?

Namjoon prefers the shy version of you who comes once in a couple of hundred years. You ask fewer questions when you are timid, and that means there is a smaller chance of Namjoon slipping up and telling you about his curse.

Regardless of your changing personality, any time Namjoon spends with you is a happy time.

But you are extremely persistent this year. It's as if for the first time, you know what Namjoon is dealing with. It's as if you can sense there is something off about him. This reincarnation, you were gifted with an innate talent for reading people, for noticing the infinitesimal details no one else bothered to notice. You are an inquisitive, confident young lady no longer oppressed by a highly patriarchal society. Namjoon isn't used to you being so straightforward, but a lot has changed for the women in society over the years.

You tell him that you want to know why he seems to know you so well. Why he seems so familiar to you. Why he acts like he's seen terrible things in the past. Why he seems to be hiding something from you. You're compelled by him and you don't quite understand why.

"Every time I see you," you say, "I have déjà vu."

"Really?" Namjoon says.

"I just can't put my finger on it," you say. "But I've totally seen you somewhere before. Maybe in my past life?" you joke.

Namjoon smiles understandingly.

"Sometimes, when I look at you, I see a man who's dealt with time itself," you say. "Is that weird? Does that sound weird?" you laugh at yourself. "I don't know. I just get this vibe."

"Are you calling me wise?" Namjoon chuckles.

"Yeah," you say, bluntly. "You hold a lot of knowledge in that snatched head of yours," you snort. "Like, no cap."

Namjoon squints, but smiles. It seems just like yesterday when you had been speaking in medieval English. Now, you're speaking in an increasingly popular dialect dominated by young teenagers who use Twitter religiously. It's interesting to see how time can shape you.

"What kind of knowledge?" Namjoon asks.

"You have a seasoned nuance to your voice," you point out. "And sometimes, when you gaze far off into the distance, you look like you're having war flashbacks."

"Really?" Namjoon laughs. You're not wrong. He often thinks about the wars he's lived through, the atrocities he's faced, though he tries not to show it. Again, you prove yourself to be incredibly observant.

"Yeah," you say. "I've seen you in my dreams before. You were my knight in shining armor when I was a princess..." you hum, closing your eyes as if to recall the memory.

Namjoon remembers that reincarnation. You'd been beheaded after the peasants in your kingdom had rebelled against your parents, the king and queen.

"You were the local farm boy I was in love with as a peasant," you giggle. "I have a lot of wack dreams." Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, it had been true, too. That year, you'd been killed off by the plague.

Never in the 1,026 years that Namjoon's known you have you ever remembered your past encounters with him in any way, shape or form. You're special this year; Namjoon can feel it.

"And you know? The day before we met, I had a dream full of numbers," you confess. "It looked a lot like a pattern." You squint. "If only I could remember the sequence... The numbers were increasing, too."

Shivers run down Namjoon's spine. There's no way. "Did it happen to be the Fibonacci Sequence?" he asks.

"The what?" you say.

"Zero, one, one, two, three, five?" Namjoon says. "You know? That sequence when the next number is found by adding up the two numbers before it?"

"Wait," you say. "I know what the Fibonacci Sequence is... But how did you guess?" you say carefully as if you were testing the waters.

"Um, well..." Namjoon sighs. "It was a lucky guess, I suppose."

"Or we're just soulmates," you giggle.

Something like that, Namjoon thinks.

"We definitely know each other from past lives or something," you declare. "Though I don't remember anything..."

You can't possibly be so casual about this. Don't you know? You're going to die in two days. And he's had to love you through the pain, get over your many deaths...

When Namjoon's silent, you speak again.

"You know, I've had a reoccurring dream my whole life," you say. "I die in this dream every time."

Namjoon jerks his head towards you. "What?"

"It's always after I see you too, Joonie. I die in my dream after I meet you," you say. "All my life, I've loved and hated your face. Do you know what you mean to me? You're like a poisonous true love. I was afraid of the day I would meet you because I knew that I would die shortly after. But when I finally met you in person," you smile, reaching to take his hand in yours, "a lot of that fear washed away. I feel like I met my soulmate. And if, no, when I die, I'll die knowing I don't regret meeting you."

Namjoon is speechless. He finally manages to stutter, "W-What else have you dreamed about?"

"Sometimes I dream in your perspective," you say. "It's lonely... And sad," you whisper. "You're immortal, though you've concluded that after you tried to die many times. Oftentimes, I wake up crying for you."

"God," Namjoon mutters under his breath. "You know everything, don't you?"

You beam. "I guess so."

"You've been waiting for me."

"Well, I always knew we'd meet one day," you confess. "I prepared myself to love you, too, you know? And in the last few years, I've been writing mini letters for you to read after I'm dead and until we meet in my next life," you say. "I wrote 108 so far! Do you think that'll cut it?"

"Y/N..." Namjoon breathes. "Of course that'll cut it. That's the best news I've heard in years."

"Great!" you say, giggling. "I hope they're not too cheesy for you."

Namjoon shakes his head. "No, I have a feeling they'll make me happy for a long time," he answers. "Thank you."

"Be sure to read the first letter on my 18th birthday," you reply, smiling softly. "You'll appreciate it more than at any other time."

It's the first time in his extended life that Namjoon feels like you know more than him.

Once in millions of Millenniums, people like the 38th reincarnation of you are born. Those who see things they were not there for, those who are clairvoyant, those who are young yet all-knowing.

You even knew how you were going to die in this life, but you'd refused to tell Namjoon. Most times, ignorance is bliss, you'd told him.

On the day of your death, you'd given a box full of letters to Namjoon. Then, you'd taken him out on a final date in your red car. You and Namjoon had both known that this car trip would be the end of your life, but neither of you bothered to meddle with what was destined to be.

It's always 4:44 p.m when it happens. This time, it happened in a busy intersection when the car in front of you had hit a jaywalking pedestrian. You'd screamed, jerking the steering wheel to the right to avoid hitting the vehicle in front of you. But that had caused your car to swerve off the road and flip over, tumbling down the hillside. Namjoon had miraculously survived, of course. But you were dead on the scene.

He's seen you die so many times, but something about that day was particularly worse. Maybe because you knew you were going to die.

And so the depressing cycle starts again.

A few lonely months after your death, Namjoon opens your first letter on your birthday: November 23rd. He hasn't felt this giddy in a very long time.

The envelope is labeled with a large "1," which means the letters are in order. Namjoon carefully opens the crisp envelope, pulling out a folded note. The paper is crisp, so you must have written the letter quite recently.

He takes a deep breath before he unfolds it. When he sees your small, minimalistic handwriting, he breathes out shakily. His hands shake as he grips the letter, and he begins to read.

To the Man in My Dreams (aka Namjoon),

Our love is like a lot of things. But I like to compare it most to the Fibonacci Sequence. We start off at zero. Then, we add on a one. The numbers accumulate as time progresses. The pattern is familiar, but the numbers never repeat. Isn't that literally us?

The me that you know specifically will never happen again. (Trust me, I know.) But you will see girls like me in your eternal life.

Every time you work on your Fibonacci Sequence, think of me, please. And I promise in my next lifetime, you'll find me again. (Though I can't guarantee that I'll remember any of this.) I hope the rest of these letters will keep you company.

You'll like the next Y/N very much, by the way.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, indeed, Namjoon thinks. Until next time.

masterlist

[the-irish-mayhem]

Fosterson Fic Rec Masterlist: Multichapters

The Main Reclist has been split to fix the links that tumblr decided to break if there were too many of them in a single post. I’ll be keeping the main reclist updated (even if the links appear broken) as well as maintaining this list and the list for oneshots.

I need help expanding this list! If you have any favorites or fics of your own of your own you don’t see included in this list and you’d like to submit for consideration, please drop me a line.

List updated April 2020. New additions marked with **

Updated during this wild quarantined time, which should serve as a reminder to everyone to APPRECIATE YOUR CONTENT CREATORS! Leave all the comments and kudos to show our love for everything they do. Big thanks to everyone who recommended and/or created content for this amazing ship.

Rated G/K-K+

**The World has Turned and Left Me Here by alwaysaprilia: Jane Foster’s mission is impossible: build a wormhole, save the world. Thor Odinson thinks his task is even more impossible: keep Jane Foster alive long enough for her to accomplish her mission. AKA: What-to-do-when-the-damsel-in-distress-keeps-distressing-you. Rec: This is such a lovely little AU fic, brings in such an expansive world so succinctly and smoothly. | 16k | In progress

**Unspoken by igi_pigi: Post bringing his brother back to Asgard from Midgard, Thor is told by Heimdall that Jane Foster has decided to stop looking for him. [Set after Avengers1.] Rec: Angsty, with some nice Frigga content. | 4.8k | Complete

**Overlapping Spaces by khilari, Persephone_Kore: Thor returns to Earth a month after the Chitauri invasion to keep his promises -- to see Jane again, and take her to see Asgard, even if the rainbow bridge is still undergoing repairs. Not that Jane is complaining about watching the repairs. But she wasn't expecting Loki to be haunting the palace library, even in psychiatric care; and Loki wasn't expecting to make friends with Thor's mortal girlfriend. Rec: If you’re looking for a good, long Jane-centric fic that also features endgame fosterson, a well written Loki, and really interesting take on Asgardian culture, this is the fic for you. | 107k | Complete

IW Coda by hariboowrites: THOR AND JANE FOCUSED CODA TO IW bc i am who i am. Rec: We all need a fosterson followup to Infinity War, and this one has an ending that made me scream internally with excitement. Make this the opening of the next Avengers movie pls. | ~4k | Complete

Five Times Jane Was Kinda Jealous And One Time Thor Was by shinyopals: ‘Hello, Jane,’ said Thor. He gave her a smile that would move mountains and definitely still made her stomach flutter. ‘This is Rachael and Amanda. They wished to give their regards for my help during the Convergence. Although of course without you we would have been hopeless.’ He turned back to Rachael and Amanda. ‘This is my dear friend Dr Jane Foster, of whom I was speaking.’ Dear friend? Jane blinked. They’d been sleeping together for a couple of weeks and had had a slightly awkward conversation to establish where they stood with each other (what Jane called dating exclusively and Thor called a courtship). “Friend”, however “dear”, seemed a bit of an understatement. Sometimes dating a gorgeous world-saving alien prince has its drawbacks. Rec: BURY ME AND HAVE THIS JEALOUSY FIC PRINTED ON MY TOMBSTONE. I usually don’t like the toxicity most jealousy fics are infused with, but this one is so pure and wonderful. I could read it every damn day. | 14k | Complete

The Arizona Banana Famine by Niobium: Thor experiences the simpler side of Earth. Rec: Absolutely hilarious. Thor + shenanigans of living on Earth and trying to hide his identity + Jane helping him to varying effect. | 7k | Complete

Non Est Ad Astra Mollis e Terris Via (there is no easy way from the earth to the stars) by Rozilla: Jane Foster keeps out of social media mostly, but does keep a blog for all things science. With a few personal posts thrown in. Edited (with sarcastic asides) by Darcy Lewis. Rec: Fosterson is mentioned often, but Jane’s voice is incredibly worthwhile. | 10.4k | Complete

Hidden resonances by kes: After the vision Wanda Maximoff gave him, Thor had more questions than answers, and so he sought truth with Jane, in a cave beneath the mountains. Rec: A really great fix-it taking place during AOU, plus some fosterson feels. | 6k | Complete

Time and Trouble by shinyopals: Frigga thinks she knows exactly what to expect from the rest of her life. Then one son perishes and returns, whilst the other falls for a mortal woman who’s like nothing Frigga could have predicted.(Frigga’s POV from the end of Thor right through to post-TDW.) Rec: BLESS ALL FRIGGA-CENTRIC FICS. Great outside perspective fosterson, plus a TDW fix-it. | 14k | Complete

If You Want To Live series by hariboo: They lost Loki when they sunk Manhattan. Three years laters Loki finds them and that’s really when everything begins. This is that beginning. Rec: Terminator fusion AU that you didn’t realize you needed until now. Knowledge of the Terminator films is helpful but not required. The 'needing each other’ that comes along with a desperate post-apocalyptic situation really lends itself well to fosterson. It also hurts a hell of a lot. I wish it wasn’t finished. | 5k | Complete

Fabulous Baking Sisters or How to (not) Get Over A Norse God in 730 Days by Rozilla: After seeing Jane in a slump one too many times, Darcy decides to get her into stress baking… and soon regrets it. Rec: A lot of Jane/Darcy brotp, but lots of fosterson goodness especially near the end. The phrase “sex coma” is definitely used. | 8.5k | Complete

Waking Ease by Salmon_Pink: Thor/Jane, rated G. Set after Thor: The Dark World. Written for Comic Drabbles, prompt "halo”. Rec: very, very short, but cute. This is a part of a larger series by this author, but this is the only fosterson chapter I’ve seen so far. | <1k | In progress

Hold the Sun by writerblocked: Thor and Jane (and everyone else) share a meal. Rec: A nice peek into regular life, complete with some touches of angst and fluff at the same time. This story, like the above rec, is a part of a larger work that does not solely include fosterson. | <1k | Complete

If She Is Worthy by Mr. Chaos: During the battle with The Destroyer, Mjolnir returns to Thor’s hand. But what if Selvig hadn’t pulled Jane away? And what if it wasn’t just Thor that had proven himself worthy? Rec: Jane kicking ass and taking names with Mjolnir. Nuff said. Downside? A giant twist at the end and still waiting for a sequel. | 4.5k | Complete

A Story of Us by me: Short and sweet prompt fills. All feature Thor and Jane as the main couple and are all just ridiculous fluff. Rec: A collection of my prompt fills from tumblr. It wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 26.2k | In progress

Rated T

The Foster Edition series by asoulofstars, MissChrisDaae: What happens when Jane Foster is in the Battle of Manhattan? In short, it changes everything. Rec: FIXING MARVEL WITH JANE FOSTER IS THE BEST, NAY, THE ONLY SOLUTION I WILL ACCEPT. | 60k | In progress

Game Changer by asoulofstars, MissChrisDaae: In the aftermath of the Convergence, Jane and Thor return to Earth in search of the scepter, and the Avengers slowly begin to reassemble. Across the cosmos and on Earth itself, enemies begin to gather, enemies that threaten everything the team has ever fought for, and Jane is faced with something just as daunting, but far more personal. Evolving from a mortal to a goddess. From a spectator to a player. From a scientist to a queen. Rec: A fluffy setup for something big, I can feel it. | 8k | In progress

A Magical Solution to the Einstein Field Equations by shinyopals: Jane Foster has got enough on her plate, what with being a full time researcher, giving lectures, applying for grants, writing books, and consulting for Stark Industries. When Thor drops off the face of the universe and leaves her on Earth with no clues as to where he is, she doesn’t know what to do or how to find him.Then an attack on Stark Industries changes everything, and she finds herself getting thrown into a life that she’s previously only watched from the sidelines, and where getting punched through a wall is suddenly just an average day of the week. Rec: THE MOST PERFECT RAGNAROK AU TO EVER EXIST ANYWHERE EVER. EASILY ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS OF ALL TIME. | 56k | Complete

Ace in the Hole by MissChrisDaae: Working alongside Selvig on Project PEGASUS, Jane manages to escape when Loki arrives, bringing with her the data on the Tesseract, and making herself SHIELD's biggest resource in combating the rogue trickster. At least until her semi-boyfriend finally makes good on his promise to come back, and she finds herself caught in the middle of a war. And she might be a key part in stopping it. Rec: MOAR JANE IN THE AVENGERS. MOAR JANE BEING VALUED IN THE MCU. MOOOOAAAAAR. | 11.5k | Complete | Part of The Foster Edition series

Wild Card by MissChrisDaae: Separation is, for Thor and Jane, a little easier in knowing what's happening to each other, but they have their own trials to face. In the midst of a war, Thor learns of a force greater than anything he has ever faced, one that could change the fates of both himself and and the woman he loves. Nothing is certain, and the burdens of his family, his life, and his love are weighing heavily upon him. Working with Betty Ross, Jane works to understand the secrets of the universe, unaware of the fact that she's being tested with every move she makes. When she temporarily moves to look after her mother's house in London, she and Darcy come across the Convergence. And, for the third time, Jane's life is turned upside down by an ancient force from another realm. Rec: Canon divergent Fosterson is my freakin JaaaaAAAAm. Also BETTY ROSS. A great replacement for canon if you’re feeling Salty. | 33k | In progress | Part of The Foster Edition series

Dancer in the Dark by MissChrisDaae: Jane Foster has always been a member of the corps de ballet, and has never voiced complaint until one night when she indulges in the fantasy of being the prima ballerina. A mysterious voice calls out to her, tempting her, coaching her, offering to make her a star, and she accepts. Months later, the prophecy comes to light when the star of the company becomes mysteriously indisposed. Jane is suddenly cast into the spotlight, becoming an immediate success, but she only has eyes for Thor, the young scion to the ballet's greatest patron family, who has been masquerading as a stagehand in order to continue a longstanding liaison with her. But Jane's made a deal with something far worse than the devil, and now he's coming to claim his due. Rec: A ballet AU that reminds me a lot of Black Swan tone-wise. Warning though, there is a love triangle that includes Lokane. | 9.6k | In progress

Five Times Having An Alien Prince's Baby Sucked A Lot, And One Time It Didn't by shinyopals: It was the doctor’s turn to look nonplussed. ‘Dr Foster,’ she said quietly, ‘you’re around four weeks pregnant.’ ‘No I’m not,’ said Jane again. She was pretty sure she’d remember if Thor had reappeared for some awesome sex a month ago. He had not. She’d gotten through enough batteries to prove it. Jane isn't quite sure how this all happened. She just knows it's a lot of work and it keeps taking her away from her Physics. Rec: The Definitive™ Fosterson babyfic. I’m generally not much for babyfic because I’m not much for babies. But I’ve read this so many times and it’s so incredibly wonderful. | 24k | Complete

Strange Earth series by Niobium: The apocalypse has come and gone, leaving the Earth strange and altered in its wake. What was once a thriving world of magic and science has become a tractless, untamed Wilderness teeming with dangerous creatures born of warped energy pouring through rents in the fabric of space and time. Society has withdrawn into magically-walled Wards to keep itself safe as it seeks a way to reclaim the planet before it’s twisted beyond all recognition, and its Seers and Champions struggle to protect humanity and one another. Rec: An incredibly imaginative ghost hunting AU. Great world building, and fantastic interaction between Jane and Thor. | 12.6k | In progress

The Obloquy of Newness by Niobium: Jane just wants to present her findings and maybe win a Nobel Prize. That would be a lot easier if all these xenophobes, science deniers, and robots bent on world destruction would stop getting in the way. Or, Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis, and what they were up to before, during, and after Avengers: Age of Ultron. Rec: A really delightful companion to AOU. | 17.4k | Complete

Sex Ed For Asgardians (Isn’t Exactly Necessary) by shinyopals: 'It’s a condom,’ Jane said eventually, reminding herself she was an adult in an adult relationship, albeit a very new one with an alien forty times her age who could hardly be expected to know what Earth birth control was like. Jane and Pepper learn that some myths and legends are true. Rec: I have no idea why this wasn’t on the reclist before. It’s hilarious and also really heartfelt. I love Respectfulinthebedroom!Thor. I love the open communication between them. Lawd. | 3.4k | Complete

Pedulum: Beginning by hariboo: Kept apart, with worlds between them, Jane and Thor do not give up on one day finding each other again. Rec: Exquisite buildup to a reunion. Both Jane and Thor are in-character with their own agency, but its obvious they’re nuts for each other. | 28.5k | Complete | Part of in progress series, Pendulum

Pendulum: Between by hariboo: Having found each other again doesn’t mean things have gotten easier for Thor and Jane. In some ways things are only getting more complicated. At least now they can face whatever comes their way together. Rec: Continiation of Beginning (recced above). Nuanced, sweet, messy, fantastic character dynamics, and with a great plot. | 56.8k | Complete | Part of in progress series, Pendulum

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy by Maybug: Jane Foster and Thor are finally getting married! Most couples go a little crazy when they’re ecstatically happy, unfortunately for these two going crazy involves knocking a hole in spacetime and marooning themselves and two of Jane’s friends on a desolate and dangerous planet halfway across the galaxy. Meanwhile Darcy, Sif and Bill are trying to find them in Skuttlebutt. Will they survive? Will they make it to the wedding in time? Will Thor’s attempts to communicate with Groot drive everyone crazy? Will Darcy get to witness Jane’s brief Goth phase? Will Jane’s friend Sayed get over his Star-Trek inspired fantasies about green-skinned alien women? Find out in the next exciting installment of Journey into Mishap! Rec: Part of a really great series by a great author. Humorous and kind of cracky. Mixture of MCU and comic canon. Just one chapter short of completion. | 12.7k | In progress | Part of Journey into Mishap and the Fosterson Files

Welcome to the Fall by Niobium: The Avengers pick up the pieces in the aftermath of Sokovia. Inter- and post-film gap-fillers and ficlets, with varying POV characters. A couple of them are slightly canon divergent and will be labeled as such. Rec: A really solid piece of prose, careful of canon while building upon it/improving it. The fosterson is handled really well. | 5.5k | Complete

The House of Foster by ArticulatioHumeri: She had set out to study wormholes. Never would Jane Foster have thought that it would lay the foundations of a family clan. Rec: Great fosterson moments, and with proper time devoted to them. A good, long read. Probably the longest fic I have on this list, and the longest Marvel fic that actually legitimately features Fosterson prominently. | 224k | Complete

The Measure of a Man by fayedartmouth: Thor is banished to Earth. Reclaiming his worth is harder than he thinks it will be. AU of the movie Thor. Rec: By now, y’all know I love fics where Thor was on Earth longer than in canon. This is probably my favorite, because Thor is incredibly well-written, and the cultural/personal struggles he encounters are written fantastically. The fosterson is incredibly organic and lovely. | 140.7k | Complete

Towards the Storm by iwillavengeyou: Jane Foster is worthy. Jane Foster is the Mighty Thor. But was she always this way? This fic seeks to examine Jane’s path to picking up the mighty hammer Mjolnir, and her journey as a heroine who, underneath it all, is only human. Rec: One of the few fics I’ve been able to find and enjoy that deals with Jane’s place as Thor in the 616 universe. I like the story’s trajectory, but it has since been orphaned. If anyone wants to... ya know... pick it up... that���d be swell. | 1.5k | In progress

As You Wish by MissChrisDaae: After the apparent death of the only man she will ever love, Jane finds herself the unwilling bride-to-be of the kingdom’s icy hearted crown prince, whose interest in her is almost as unnerving as the man himself. Before the wedding can take place, Jane finds herself in the hands of three kidnappers, her life in danger, and a mysterious figure in black pursuing them. Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles. What more does a story need? Rec: THE PRINCESS BRIDE FUSION THAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED UNTIL NOW. Also Sif is Indigo Montoya. If the fosterson wasn’t enough to get you to read it. | 21.3k | Complete

Girls’ Night by Maybug: With Thor in Asgard and the other Avengers away on a mission, Darcy, Betty, Pepper and Jane decide to have a girls’ night. A certain supervillain has other plans, but it’s nothing they can’t handle. Rec: fosterson is background, but you all know I can’t resist a good Marvel ladies asskicking story. Story is mostly from Jane’s POV, so good insights on fosterson. | 11.2k | In progress

Thor 2 Rewritten: The Shaded Tree by kes: Rec: A series of oneshots and short multichapters that rewrite the second Thor movie. Not everything is over fosterson, but it’s always an undercurrent. Worth the read. Such a great alternative to canon. | 44k | Incomplete, abandoned

don’t need no ammunition (ain’t the bridge that’s falling down) by anthropologicalhands: Thor (2011) AU. After the battle at Jotunheim, something goes wrong and Sif finds herself stranded on Midgard. Jane is still chasing bridges and wants to know how this strange woman got in her atmospheric disturbance. Darcy’s psyched…and a little freaked out. Meanwhile, Thor and Loki embark on an quest (actually: intergalactic road trip) to rescue Sif. Thor has to prove himself. Loki is having an identity crisis. Do the math. Rec: Great interactions with everyone. Jane and Thor are still absolutely smitten despite the different circumstances. Loki/Sif is also a main pairing. | 39k | Complete

Fate Has Brought Us Together by asoulofstars: A series of one-shots detailing the lives of Thor Odinson and Jane Foster. Set after the events of Thor: The Dark World. Rec: We all know I’m a sucker for fosterson fluffies. The chapters are generally short and sweet. Read for smiles and butterflies and rainbow puking. | 9.9k | In progress

We Have Joyed To Be Forlorn by Niobium: Jane Foster’s life carries on in the wake of the Convergence, complete with exciting new research prospects, a displaced and grieving alien, considerations on the functionality of magic, and massive shakeups in world espionage. Or, The continuing adventures of Jane Foster, from the end of Thor: The Dark World to just after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Rec: What it says on the tin. I highly recommend reading anything by this author. Both Jane and Thor are done justice to, beautifully. Lots of cutesy Fosterson that feels very real and not just like a fangirl threw up on a page. Really a gorgeous story. | 13.8k | Complete

Rowing in Eden by ancarett: The Bifrost is no longer broken but is becoming unpredictable: delivering its travellers far afield. With Midgard’s link to Asgard at risk, Jane and Thor have to restore stability to the wormhole or risk being separated forever. Rec: Jane and Thor doing science together and being cute together. Features all the Avengers. | 34.5k | Complete

Fundamental Forces by nayanroo: In an attempt to rein in the son that remains to her after Thor’s banishment, Frigga arranges a marriage between two old friends in the hopes that they can work together to heal an eroded realm. On Earth, a prince searches for identity after his world is turned upside-down. And in the darkness, something stirs. Rec: mostly a Loki/Sif pairing story, but there is enough fosterson to give a rec. Even if it wasn’t, I’d still rec it somewhere else. One of the most well-thought out stories I’ve read (part of an amazing series, which contains gratuitous fosterson) with incredible characterizations. Great plot, monstrous word counts in chapters. | 181k | Complete | Part of in progress series, The Kingsverse

When the Stars Fall Up by Nyxelestia: Loki is not so foolish as to let his pride get in the way of his plans. And Thor learns there is a lot more to being a king than being brave. Rec: Despite a Loki-heavy intro, we get some good Jane/Thor in the second chapter. It’s incomplete, and hasn’t been update in a long time, but I feel like it is going somewhere good if it is continued. | 7.3k | In progress, possibly abandoned

Watchtower by me: When research on the Tesseract begins, SHIELD recruits Jane Foster instead of Eric Selvig to harness the other-worldly artifact. When Loki raids the facility, he takes over the mind of the mortal woman his brother loves. The Avengers with Jane Foster in Eric Selvig’s place. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. (although tbh I’m tempted to take this off the rec list because I hate the way I wrote it so much XD) | 56k | Complete

Let Me Follow You Down by me: Jane is sick of her family always pushing her towards a relationship. She thinks she’s figured out the perfect solution. Fake Dating AU. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 24k | Complete

Rebuild All Your Ruins by me: Ragnarok AU. Despite his hunt for the Infinity Stones taking him far beyond Jane’s galaxy, Thor had always managed to get word to her that he was safe. When months pass without any word from him, Lady Sif arrives with a dire message: Thor has gone missing, Heimdall has been removed from his post as Gatekeeper, and the Warriors Three wonder if their king is truly Odin. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 11.2k | In progress, slow updates because it’s me and I’m garbage

Rated M (these won’t contain the smuts unless otherwise noted)

**Stalemate by igi_pigi: "It appears we're at a stalemate, Miss Foster." He meets her eyes at last with his bloodshot ones. "My association with you will continue to doom you with mortal dangers at every turn. And you will continue to inexplicably not hold me blameworthy for it." (Alternatively, how it should have been instead of how it was in Thor3.) [Well after Thor2.] Rec: PAIN. LOTS OF IT. Contains some smut | 8.7k | Complete

Symbiosis: Part I by SteeleHoltingOn: Jane and Thor have to decide if they can make their relationship work. She’s a scientist. He’s a prince. It’s the ultimate of long-distance relationships. It seems that Odin isn’t (wasn’t?) the only Asgardian who is unhappy with Thor’s fascination with Jane. Rec: An amazing look at Thor and Jane post-Dark World building their relationship, as well as all the pitfalls and heartache that comes with that. This author really plunges their hands into the nitty gritty problems with Jane and Thor, their cultural differences, their age/lifespan difference, and so on, yet it is still clear how much they love each other and their determination to make it work. | Contains some smut, but nothing very explicit | 92.5k | Complete

Symbiosis: Part II by SteeleHoltingOn: Loki ascends the throne of Jotunheim. He might have been lonely, but for the little hitchhiker in his head. Thor and Jane have their hands full with their daughter, Val, and the demands of Asgard and the Nine Realms. Rec: A lot of Loki, but also copious amounts of married Fosterson. As someone who isn’t always Loki’s biggest fan, especially when it comes to fan portrayals, I can say that this one is very true to canon and is an incredibly interesting read, and is balanced well with Jane and Thor-ness. The political drama is done very well. The plot planning seems meticulous and is absolutely admirable. I still have the same praise for it as its predecessor. | Contains some smut | 41.4k | Complete

Terrestrial Constellations by NightOwl360: For Jane and Darcy bringing Thor back to Earth is only the beginning of the adventure. Relationships are never easy, the past is always just a step behind, and sometimes the people we know best have the biggest secrets. Rec: Great characterization of Jane and Thor, and fabulous buildup until they meet again. Packed with not just fluff, some inevitable angst, as well as an intriguing storyline. Only downside: I’m pretty sure it’s been abandoned, and on a hell of a cliff hanger. | 78k | In progress, possibly abandoned

The Poetic Edda (was almost entirely wrong) by PhoenixVictoria: In Which: Thor is from a warrior culture (and Jane Foster understands); Loki is badass (but also kind of a puppy); Thor grows a pair and fixes his mistakes (and is a good brother); Loki is a slut (and is a good brother when he has no knives); Darcy Lewis is The Geek Whisperer (which really turns Loki on); And the Odinsons have no idea how to act in front of the media (and wouldn’t care if they did.) Rec: Almost entirely for Thor. He is so well-written in this. Loki and Thor fixing the damage they’ve done, and Jane being a great person. I love this so far (it is a WIP). Later chapters make Tasertricks a thing, so a heads up if you’re not into that ship. | Contains some smut, graphic imagery of torturing/punishment | 81k | In progress, possibly abandoned

One and the Same Thing by MissChrisDaae: Jane Foster is born to the bloodline of the Alchemysts, and the first woman to be inducted into the order. After the murder of her mentor, Jane becomes the first Alchemyst to mix the study of alchemy with that of magic, trying to enhance the art and find a way to avenge him. This is seen as bastardizing the craft, and she is cast out of the order, still working her craft as she wanders the realm. Forbidden from using the title of Alchemyst, Jane instead calls herself Ástkona Óþekktur, a Mistress of the Unknown. On her travels, she picks up an apprentice in Darcy Lewis and the two women meet another very unusual pair: the crown prince, Thor, and his foster brother, Loki, on the run from Amora, the sorceress who murdered Thor’s father and usurped the throne, the same woman who killed Jane’s teacher. Finding common ground, the four agree to join forces in taking down the Enchantress. Even if Jane won’t admit it, she finds herself drawn to the older prince, and Thor seems to be returning her affections, much to the annoyance of Loki, who sees the Ástkona Óþekktur as an unneeded distraction from what matters. If they win the war, there may still be something left to lose. Rec: You can see by the description that this is way AU. Incredibly imaginative, with a good characterization of Jane. | 33k | Complete

The Salt Skin by hariboo: One day Sif walks to the edge of the Bifrost to see compelled to see where Loki had fallen. At the same time Jane is testing a way to open the Bifrost. By accident Sif falls to Earth, what happens after she never would have expected, and then she finds Loki. Post-film. Rec: I can’t believe I haven’t recced this yet. A long, Sif-centric fic that is respectful to fosterson is hard to find, but this one hits all my must haves. Jane and Thor are beautiful idiots, and the outside view of their relationship is great. Very well-written. Loki/Sif is also very prominently featured. | 44.4k | Complete

Off The Grid by Shawn30: As stated by Phil Coulson in 'Agents of Shield’ episode 1-15, "Thor is currently off the grid.” So the question is, where are Thor, Jane, Darcy, and Eric post 'The Dark World’? Rec: This person was one of my FAVORITE fic authors of all time because of their Star Wars fics, and then THEY WRITE A FOSTERSON STORY. I was over the damn moon. There’s a unique take of all the characters, and there’s promise of really great things coming from this story. This fic would be a wise investment. Only problem is that sometimes their fics have very slow updates. Contains some smut | 15k | In progress, possibly abandoned

Lost in a World Full of Terrors by psychollama: Inspired by typhoidcandy - “After Darcy attempts to perform one of Loki’s spells, things go awry and she’s sent to another universe. In this medieval-like universe, Loki is King, Thor is banished and living in the forests, and Jane is an arrow wielding rebel. Can Darcy make it home before the real Loki finds out what she did? Or before medieval Loki captures her and either kills her or makes her his slave?” Rec: A different take on a medieval AU. The first and only chapter is very fosterson-centric, and sets up the action nicely. Jane and Thor are handled very well in the different context. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been updated since 2013, so I fear it has been abandoned. |4.4k | In progress, possibly abandoned

Stop All The Clocks series by Della19: Rec: NOT fosterson centric. This series is, I think, the first thing I read on AO3, and I was blown away. This person has constructed a great world around Supersoldier!Peggy Carter, and I rec the whole series, as the world and the characters are all vibrant and well-rounded. The stories, while connected, can easily be read as standalones. The fosterson, when it’s a larger focus, is absolutely lovely. | 49k | In progress

Rain Upon the Ashes by me: Medieval Fantasy AU. An ancient evil threatens Yggdrasil. An illegitimate heir sits upon the throne of Asgard, and an unknown menace seeks to destroy the Royal Family. Thor Odinson, true heir to the throne and banished years before, emerges as one of the leaders of the Rebellion, further endangering his family. Known publicly only as the Raven, Jane Foster, once a high-born Lady of Midgard, finds herself fighting a war when she once only desired to see the stars. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 33k | In progress, slow updates because it’s me and I’m garbage

Rated E (these will contain the smuts unless otherwise noted)

The Secret of Mind and Memory by capitainpistol: Jane and Thor wake up to an empty Asgard and zero memory of their pasts or each other. PWP. Rec: The Amesiacs Who Are Instinctually Drawn to Each Other AU that I never knew I needed in my life. I can’t wait to see how it ends. | 2k | In progress

Love in a Time of Tentacles (or How We Hired Out Our Sex Parts To Tentacle Monsters in Exchange for Remaining in Space) by Rozilla: Jane and Thor’s ship is left drifting in space and the only option is to take up the offer of a Bio-Engineering corporation to submit their bodies to science. Science in this case being mostly tentacles. It’s a good thing Jane’s into this sort of thing. Rec: I hope you’re into wild space porn because that is exactly what this is. Woop woop. Mind the warnings. | 13.2k | Complete

Edging Towards the Light by Shawn30: Thor and Jane navigate the treacherous relationship waters of ambition, duty, passion, and love. Rec: SMUT WITH PLOT YUM. A unique but plausible take on Fosterson. | 30k | In progress

Play Along Prisoner by Rozilla: You’re so used to being not listened to, put down, doubted and generally made to feel worthless when you work twice as hard as everyone else, sometimes you need a hobby like this one. Especially when you have such a willing participant. Rec: AU, Domme!Jane and Sub!Thor. Mmmmyes. Mind the warnings. | 15.3k | In progress

For The Days Inbetween by Simple.White.Lie: Heroes are seldom allowed happiness, and far too often Duty comes before Love. That only means he must fight even harder for that which he desires. Rec: While it isn’t always the prime example of great writing, this fic is still very good. It is a long multichapter which features gratuitous smut (hurrah!) while still maintaining good plot. Jane and Thor’s ups and downs as a couple are well written, and if you’re a sucker for married Fosterson, check this one out. | 79k | Complete

On the Outside by Simple.White.Lie: The King and Queen of Asgard are not prepared for the dish Fate has served for them. To be tossed out like a ship in the wind is more than their hearts can take. Their love is something to fight for.. Isn’t it? Rec: Sequel to For The Days Inbetween (recced above). Both stories feature a very strong Jane, which is a big plus. Again, while the writing isn’t always stellar, it is a worthwhile read. | 33k | Complete

Thor Pwns Walmart by charis2770: Jane and Thor have found a way to be together at last. It’s all she could have wished for, and then some. But it’s playing heck on her worldly possessions! Jane takes Thor shopping at Wal Mart so she can replace all the things which have been torn or broken during their reunion. And buy more pop tarts. This turns out to be an adventure. And hotter than you might think. Rec: Okay, holy high heavens this story is well done. The author does BDSM amazingly, and I recommend their other stories, too. Mind the warnings. Also, if BDSM isn’t your thing, I still recommend the bits in between the smut because it is hilarious and perfect. | 35k | Complete

Stealing Away by charis2770: This is what happens when the Black Widow puts herself in charge of planning a weekend getaway for four friends, three of whom happen to be Super Heroes, and one of whom has an unfortunate tendency to be a little hard on Midgardian buildings. Rec: a continuation of Thor Pwns Walmart, and also features a good deal of BDSM Clint/Natasha. This author remains a good example of how to properly write good BDSM. Mind the warnings. Also, if BDSM isn’t your thing, I still recommend the bits in between the smut because it is hilarious and perfect. | 30.4k | Complete

[prorevenge]

Revenge on a University Teacher

Hello Reddit, I would like to start off with this is my first ever Reddit post, so accept my apologies for poor grammar, or if any etiquette is broken unknowingly. I was reliving this to a few friends who pointed me here to tell this tale. Of course names are changed for privacy reasons etc. If any YouTube videos are made of this story please link them as I love watching Reddit YouTube content. With that out of the way lets begin.

I graduated university a few years ago and this story comes from my first year from my degree. I was in a Business degree course having enjoyed studies of Business in school and enjoying researching business related topics in my own time. Before I go further I should disclaim I am Autistic, this will be important later. It also explains why what I consider an interest in business for me, may be considered an obsession by others. I am considered high functioning, whilst I occasionally struggle in social situations, it mainly comes off as me being rather blunt.

So for the degree we had several classes, every class makes up a portion of the overall grade etc. In the first year we had no choice in regards of classes, the majority of the classes were really fun and engaging. My teachers were very supportive to me and my classmates were too. I felt I belonged at university, whereas I hated school with a passion. At university I could study and argue points beyond a linear construct of a syllabus. Basically I am trying to say so long as you could prove your argument with academic credibility, you could make it and that debates were fruitful. I also had good relationships with my support worker who is there to aid disabled students and my personal teacher, someone every student is assigned who is head of a specific degree/discipline.

One class however was horrid. On the first day of class the teacher, who we will refer to as Mrs. B came into the class and we all had out or laptops or notebooks. She began scrawling what I could only describe as hieroglyphics on a whiteboard. It looked like algebra, only worse. I have never been good at Mathematics, breaking the age old, Autistic=good at math stereotype. I was just typing notes blindly trying to write everything down but it made no sense to me. At the end of the class I introduced myself and explained I had a learning disability and that i might need some help going forward. She seemed dismissive saying "Its okay this stuff is easy you would have learn't in high school" and then abruptly left.

A few weeks past and I was taking down all the notes and still not understanding it. I logged onto the student portal website. It was there all our content was hosted e.g. assignment briefs, reading lists, points of contact etc. I was confused to find her class was the only one with nothing in the reading list. Every other class had several textbooks, journals and other sources students could go to for extra information/clarification.

After a class one day I went to Mrs. B and asked if there was any reading material e.g. textbooks I could read so I could try to understand said theory as there was nothing on the student portal website. She said in a very confident manor "As I said to you before, this is high school level stuff, anyone would be able to do this, simple work". I explained I struggled at math in school and that as a older/mature student my school days were almost a decade ago. She shrugged and left the classroom, and I was feeling very frustrated.

In any other classes if I didn't understand something from a lecture, I could look it up in the textbooks, online etc. to get a different perspective. If I still didn't quite understand I could go to a teacher and ask. They were happy to help me as they could see I had attempted to understand said theory.

During one of the classes I raised a hand and asked a question about a value of a letter 'X' as I didn't understand a certain equation. Mrs B looked at me smirking saying it was "simple" and asked if anyone else in the class was confused. No one else raised a hand or spoke so she continued. At the end of class I went to lots of classmates asking for their help. They confided in me that they also didn't understand that class, but were afraid to speak out.

This carried on for a month or so with me asking for help, writing the notes blindly etc. until we were given our first official assignment. What I did work wise I was not proud of, however in my defense with not understanding the content I was just trying to cobble something together.

I would email Mrs B asking to clarify bits, ask for help, my emails would be read (read receipt) but not replied to. I asked her about office hours, to which she replied "I don't do that". For context office hours are time where teachers allow students to come to them with anything e.g. academic problems, questions, career options etc. All teachers offered them...just not her.

I tried to hand in the work online. Our university has a policy all work must be submitted online for cheat detection software and many other reasons. Mrs B told us she would only accept paper versions and that the online portal was not to be used. When myself and other students questioned her she needed to see the work and its true potential and left it at that. So we complied, printed and handed into Mrs B on time.

A few weeks later in class she calls out students to collect their assignment papers, with grades. The thing is she reads them out not by name, but by grade order. We were all shocked. It meant the sooner your name was called out the higher your grade, and the longer you waited, the lower your grade would be. I waited and waited until I was called forward. I was very anxious and went back to my seat, I tuned out of the class and read over the paper. I had just scored a pass mark, but I was pissed off. Mrs Be had written comments such as "shows no understanding of the content", "no efforts made", "poor aptitude of the relevant theories". At this point I was shaking with anger. I marched out the class she asked "where are you going?" I didn't say anything, I didn't stop. I knew if I did I would have got angry.

I immediately went to see my personal teacher and support worker, it took them a long time to calm me down and said they would look into matters. After that I went to speak to classmates who were read out before me asking if they could explain the theory. All of them explained they had no idea how they even passed, let alone get a high grade. Keep a side note of this.

A week later Mrs B comes into class looking agitated proclaiming a reading list of a single textbook was available on student portal much to the relief of other students. She also exclaimed she would now offer office hours for students with the same level as enthusiasm as someone would have for watching paint dry.

Unfortunately the book was not in our university library and we would have to buy it ourselves, which all students know, textbooks new are very pricey. I bought the book, but it made little difference with my lack of understanding. I spoke to classmates who did the same, they too didn't understand it, it felt like the book and the class were completely different.

The office hours were another thing, I asked when I could see her, she informed me her next available spot was in three months time. I asked a classmate to ask her, she told him she could see him that afternoon, another classmate was told it was a four month wait. Something was a miss.

She also exclaimed some students were struggling with "basic high school math" and she would put some basic math on student portal website. The problem was she photocopied them from a book, the pictures were bury so even if they did have useful content, they were illegible.

Shortly after this we had an exam on the subject, again I was worried I had no idea what to expect. I was in a different exam room to the other students as I get support in exam conditions as I struggle with some aspects of reading (I am also mildly dyslexic) so get a reader support worker. Part way through the test Mrs B comes in and asks if I am okay. I was a bit shocked, I never had teachers in a exam before. But maybe this is how they do tests at university? I stated honestly I understood nothing despite buying the textbook, despite coming to see her, despite seeing my support worker and despite consulting with my classmates. Mrs B then proceeds to tell me the answers. Stunned I say "what". She orders me to write, I look over to the support worker who's jaw has dropped. Mrs B leaves and the support worker stops me and says "I have to report this" I acknowledge and the test is stopped. Afterwards I speak to other students. Other students with special needs she came and told the answers to, but not to other students. I was very concerned and confused and unsure what this meant for my grade.

Months passed again of the same old, I would furiously take down notes blindly, my classmates and I in a state of despair. However, one day I asked another question in class and Mrs B in a very snarky tone said something along the lines of "your the only student who doesn't get this simple equation" she looks out to the rest of the class stating "everyone else gets it". Slowly, one other student says "I don't" then another, and another. I was reminded of the famous 'I am Spartacus' bit. She looked mad as 28 students of a 30 student class raised their hands and objected, saying they didn't get it. Mrs B looking pissed stopped the lecture stating we couldn't behave so she wouldn't teach and left.

A few weeks later Mrs B gave us what would be our final assignment for the class. She explained we had to write a report on a choice of reports as to how they use, whatever algebraic theory we were meant to understand and we had to do this in groups. In the assignment brief we were meant to write the report on the report but we weren't allowed to cite the original report. We asked Mrs B for clarification. She explained it was "academically lazy" to cite any of the reports directly and that instead we had to find the original citation from the report and cite that. Making it a lot more work. We spent the next week just panicking, the reports were so confusing, there was no 'easy' one to chose from.

All of this bubbled up, in all my other classes I was achieving high grades like 80% / 90% average, despite this, this class so far I was barely passing at 40%. The whole thing lead to a very bad mental health crisis, I won't get dark here. It lead to intervention from local government mental health services.

After this myself and classmates arranged a meeting with high ups at the school to discuss our issues. Up till now we had done all informal process of talking to the tutor, reading the textbook and this new assignment was very, very hard.

At this meeting, they asked why we wanted to see them. We explained it was about the class as a whole and the second assignment. They looked confused citing there was no second assignment. We gave them the brief. These higher academics, professors etc eyes widened. They told us there was to be one assignment and one exam. They asked to see the reports we were to analyse. One of the professors mouths dropped, the suspense and silence was palpable. They explained to us the reports we were to analyse would be set for masters degree or PHD students, and that 1st year undergraduates were not expected to meet this level of work. They told us to cease the work immediately. They told us to put together a formal complaint and showed us the paperwork (single A4 sheet) to submit.

Moments after leaving the meeting a email went out to the whole year group from one of these professors citing work on that assignment was to stop immediately. Mrs B replied all stating students could still do it for extra credit. The professor replied to all students stating that was false, and that she needed to meet him immediately. To any other student they must have thought what the hell was going on, to me though I was just singing internally, but I was not done.

The complaint, I went to homework on. I filled in all my academic notes, all the emails I ever sent her in this report. I went to classmates for witness testimonials for what she did in class. I approached and got a statement from my exam support worker, and a copy of some classmates exams who got a high grades. Reading the tests I noticed we had similar answers to my work and that of other students. The grading was sporadic and random to be polite.

For example one of the answers to a question was 4X. I wrote 4X and got 1 point, my classmate wrote 4X and they scored 3 points.

I then discovered something very interesting.

When searching her name online, I found she was being paid by our university to do research into methods of using mathematics to make relative decision processes in a business environment. I decided to look into some of the aspects of that particular research grant and noticed they were very, VERY similar to the work she had assigned us in our unapproved assignment 2. With this I added this into my complaint report and decided to copy into my report the contact details of the funding bodies included (mainly European Union grant sources due to my country) which included what repercussions would come about if funds were used improperly.

Over a week I collated my masterpiece, what should have been at most a 3 page report was now a fully bound 120 page complaint report with an appendix, contents etc. in full academic report style.

I had some friends in a law degree go over it and advised me to seek compensation of some sort due to my mental health crisis as a result of Mrs B. So I enclosed my request for some gesture of good will to be made by the university, I was not specific as although I was high on the adrenaline of getting back at Mrs B, I was still battling with newly diagnosed depression (thanks Mrs B). I submitted it, having it bound specially for the occasion.

Two weeks later all classes with her were cancelled. Not just for our classes, but University wide.

It turned out she broke a lot of academic rules. Mrs B had forged exam results, bullied an international student (or as I thought, was being racist) and many other things.

It was revealed she was using students to aid her in research she was being paid to conduct, which was the nail in her coffin. In other words, she was being paid to do research, and passing said work onto her students, without disclosure, consent, compensation (as she was being paid to do it) etc. It was a massive no no in not only our student body but other teachers as well.

She was dismissed/fired with all professional accreditation lost. In other words, no way of coming back to the field of teaching/academia.

All students got a automatic pass and a portion of our student loans repaid as compensation.

We lost many battles, but we won the war.

I still battle with the depression to this day, but I graduated with first class honors. So I guess I wasn't that stupid after all. I am fine now, happily in a great job, with a great wife and kids.

(source) story by (/u/SWBuilder12)

[ucflibrary]

The summer semester is ending and the prep for fall has started. It’s only a few short weeks until the 2019-2020 academic year begins. We’ll have a full cohort of students back on campus. The lines for coffee will be never ending and a free parking space will be nowhere to be found. Life will definitely get more exciting.

 Libraries staff has pulled together a full list of books that cover a whole range of areas. Some books are for our graduating students wondering what comes next. Some books are to help new incoming students start the year successfully. We even have books that staff read when they were your age (yep, books existed that long ago) that changed how they thought about the world.

 Welcome to the 2019-20 academic year!

 Click on the link below to see the full list, descriptions, and catalog links for the featured Back-so-School titles suggested by UCF Library employees. These 24 books plus many more are also on display on the 2nd (main) floor of the John C. Hitt Library next to the bank of two elevators.

 Bei qi baba shang xue: Going to school with dad on my back directed by Zhou Youchao Shiwa, the son of a poor Chinese farmer, is doing well at school. But when his mother dies and his sister leaves the house, he's the only one left to take care of his disabled father. Suggested by Tim Walker, Information Technology & Digital Initiatives

 Braving the Wilderness: The quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone by Brené Brown Social scientist Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, has sparked a global conversation about the experiences that bring meaning to our lives—experiences of courage, vulnerability, love, belonging, shame, and empathy. In Braving the Wilderness, Brown redefines what it means to truly belong in an age of increased polarization. Suggested by Kryslynn Collazo, Scholarly Communication

 Close Encounters of the Third-Grade Kind: thoughts on teacherhood by Phillip Done A twenty-year veteran of the classroom, elementary school teacher Phillip Done takes readers through a lively and hilarious year in the classroom. Starting with the relative calm before the storm of buying school supplies and posting class lists, he shares the distinct personalities of grades K-4, what he learned from two professional trick or treating 8-year-old boys, the art of learning cursive and letter-writing, how kindergartners try to trap leprechauns, and what every child should experience before he or she grows up. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 Educated: a memoir by Tara Westover Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, Tara Westover was seventeen the first time she set foot in a classroom. Her family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education, and no one to intervene when one of Tara's older brothers became violent. When another brother got himself into college, Tara decided to try a new kind of life. Her quest for knowledge transformed her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge University. Only then would she wonder if she'd traveled too far, if there was still a way home. Suggested by Cindy Dancel, Research & Information Services

 Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger The short story, Franny, takes place in an unnamed college town and tells the tale of an undergraduate who is becoming disenchanted with the selfishness and inauthenticity she perceives all around her. The novella, Zooey, is named for Zooey Glass, the second-youngest member of the Glass family. As his younger sister, Franny, suffers a spiritual and existential breakdown in her parents' Manhattan living room -- leaving Bessie, her mother, deeply concerned -- Zooey comes to her aid, offering what he thinks is brotherly love, understanding, and words of sage advice. Suggested by Christina Wray, Teaching & Engagement

 Girl, Stop Apologizing: A shame-free plan for embracing and achieving your goals by Rachel Hollis In Girl, Stop Apologizing, Rachel Hollis sounds a wake-up call. She knows that many women have been taught to define themselves in light of other people—whether as wife, mother, daughter, or employee—instead of learning how to own who they are and what they want. With a challenge to women everywhere to stop talking themselves out of their dreams, Hollis identifies the excuses to let go of, the behaviors to adopt, and the skills to acquire on the path to growth, confidence, and believing in yourself. Suggested by Kryslynn Collazo, Scholarly Communication

 Glimmer of Hope: how tragedy sparked a movement by March for Our Lives (Organization) Glimmer of Hope tells the story of how a group of teenagers raced to channel their rage and sorrow into action, and went on to create one of the largest youth-led movements in global history. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 Hillbilly Elegy: A memoir of a family in culture in crisis by J. D. Vance Hillbilly Elegy is a passionate and personal analysis of a culture in crisis—that of white working-class Americans. The decline of this group, a demographic of our country that has been slowly disintegrating over forty years, has been reported on with growing frequency and alarm, but has never before been written about as searingly from the inside. J. D. Vance tells the true story of what a social, regional, and class decline feels like when you were born with it hung around your neck. Suggested by Katy Miller, Research, Education & Engagement

 How to Become a Straight-A Student: the unconventional strategies real college students use to score high while studying less by Cal Newport Most college students believe that straight A’s can be achieved only through cramming and painful all-nighters at the library. But Cal Newport knows that real straight-A students don’t study harder—they study smarter. A breakthrough approach to acing academic assignments, from quizzes and exams to essays and papers, How to Become a Straight-A Student reveals for the first time the proven study secrets of real straight-A students across the country and weaves them into a simple, practical system that anyone can master. Suggested by Joanie Reynolds, Interlibrary Loan & Document Delivery Services

 How to Win at College: simple rules for success from star students by Cal Newport What does it take to be a standout student? How can you make the most of your college years—graduate with honors, choose exciting activities, build a head-turning resume, and gain access to the best post-college opportunities? Based on interviews with star students at universities nationwide, from Harvard to the University of Arizona, How to Win at College presents seventy-five simple rules that will rocket you to the top of the class. Suggested by Joanie Reynolds, Interlibrary Loan & Document Delivery Services

 I am Charlotte Simmons by Tom Wolfe  As Charlotte encounters the paragons of Dupont's privileged elite, she is seduced by the heady glamour of acceptance, betraying her values and upbringing before she grasps the power of being different and the exotic allure of her innocence. Suggested by Jada Reyes, UCF Libraries Student Ambassador

 I Just Graduated... Now What?: honest answers from those who have been there by Katherine Schwarzenegger Graduation is a time of tough questions whose answers we don’t—and sometimes can’t—know the day we receive our diploma. Determined to power through the uncertainty of post-gradua­tion, bestselling author Katherine Schwarzenegger embarked on a yearlong quest to gather the best guidance possible from more than thirty highly success­ful people working in fields like business, media, fashion, technology, sports, and philanthropy. Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 In Defense of Food: an eater's manifesto by Michael Pollan Because in the so-called Western diet, food has been replaced by nutrients, and common sense by confusion--most of what we’re consuming today is longer the product of nature but of food science. The result is what Michael Pollan calls the American Paradox: The more we worry about nutrition, the less healthy we see to become. Pollan’s bracing and eloquent manifesto shows us how we can start making thoughtful food choices that will enrich our lives, enlarge our sense of what it means to be healthy, and bring pleasure back to eating. Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Mis(h)adra by Iasmin Omar Ata An Arab-American college student struggles to live with epilepsy in this starkly colored and deeply-cutting graphic novel. Isaac wants nothing more than to be a functional college student—but managing his epilepsy is an exhausting battle to survive. He attempts to maintain a balancing act between his seizure triggers and his day-to-day schedule, but he finds that nothing—not even his medication—seems to work. The doctors won’t listen, the schoolwork keeps piling up, his family is in denial about his condition, and his social life falls apart as he feels more and more isolated by his illness. Even with an unexpected new friend by his side, so much is up against him that Isaac is starting to think his epilepsy might be unbeatable. Suggested by Emma Gisclair, Curriculum Materials Center

 Never Eat Alone and Other Secrets to Success by Keith Ferrazzi with Tahl Raz In Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi lays out the specific steps—and inner mindset—he uses to reach out to connect with the thousands of colleagues, friends, and associates on his contacts list, people he has helped and who have helped him. And in the time since Never Eat Alone was published in 2005, the rise of social media and new, collaborative management styles have only made Ferrazzi’s advice more essential for anyone hoping to get ahead in business. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 On Beauty by Zadie Smith Howard Belsey is an Englishman abroad, an academic teaching in Wellington, a college town in New England. Married young, thirty years later he is struggling to revive his love for his African American wife Kiki. Meanwhile, his three teenage children - Jerome, Zora and Levi - are each seeking the passions, ideals and commitments that will guide them through their own lives. After Howard has a disastrous affair with a colleague, his sensitive older son, Jerome, escapes to England for the holidays. In London he defies everything the Belseys represent when he goes to work for Trinidadian right-wing academic and pundit, Monty Kipps. Taken in by the Kipps family for the summer, Jerome falls for Monty's beautiful, capricious daughter, Victoria. But this short-lived romance has long-lasting consequences, drawing these very different families into each other's lives. Suggested by Jada Reyes, UCF Libraries Student Ambassador

 Parkland: inside building 12 produced and directed by Charlie Minn Acclaimed director Charlie Minn brings attention to the victims of the infamous massacre that occurred on February 14th, 2018 at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. A normal day at school became a true nightmare for Parkland, Florida citizens as they experienced something they had never thought would happen in their small suburb. In just six minutes, seventeen students and staff were fatally shot and seventeen more were wounded, while innumerable lives were changed forever. The true heroes of that day have come together to tell their stories and to bring words to those who are no longer here to offer them. This documentary reveals testimony and the raw emotions of those involved, highlighting the actions taken by individuals to save the lives of others through selfless and brave acts. Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 So What Are You Going to Do With That?: a guide to career-changing by Susan Basalla and Maggie Debelius A witty, accessible guide full of concrete advice for anyone contemplating the jump from scholarship to the outside world, So What Are You Going to Do with That? covers topics ranging from career counseling to interview etiquette to translating skills learned in the academy into terms an employer can understand and appreciate. Packed with examples and stories from real people who have successfully made this daunting—but potentially rewarding— transition, and written with a deep understanding of both the joys and difficulties of the academic life, this fully revised and up-to-date edition will be indispensable for any graduate student or professor who has ever glanced at her CV, flipped through the want ads, and wondered, “What if?”

Suggested by Rachel Edford, Teaching & Engagement

Sourdough: or, Lois and her adventures in the underground market by Robin Sloan Lois Clary is a software engineer at General Dexterity, a San Francisco robotics company with world-changing ambitions. She codes all day and collapses at night, her human contact limited to the two brothers who run the neighborhood hole-in-the-wall from which she orders dinner every evening. Then, disaster! Visa issues. The brothers quickly close up shop. But they have one last delivery for Lois: their culture, the sourdough starter used to bake their bread. She must keep it alive, they tell her―feed it daily, play it music, and learn to bake with it. Lois is no baker, but she could use a roommate, even if it is a needy colony of microorganisms. Soon, not only is she eating her own homemade bread, she’s providing loaves to the General Dexterity cafeteria every day. Then the company chef urges her to take her product to the farmer’s market―and a whole new world opens up.. Suggested by Katy Miller, Research, Education & Engagement

 Teacher Man: A memoir by Frank McCourt In bold and spirited prose featuring his irreverent wit and compelling honesty, McCourt records the trials, triumphs and surprises he faced in the classroom. Teacher Man shows McCourt developing his unparalleled ability to tell a great story as, five days a week, five periods per day, he worked to gain the attention and respect of unruly, hormonally charged or indifferent adolescents. Suggested by Rachel Edford, Teaching & Engagement

 The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho Paulo Coelho's masterpiece tells the magical story of Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd boy who yearns to travel in search of a worldly treasure as extravagant as any ever found. The story of the treasures Santiago finds along the way teaches us, as only a few stories can, about the essential wisdom of listening to our hearts, learning to read the omens strewn along life's path, and, above all, following our dreams. Suggested by Christina Wray, Teaching & Engagement

 The Secret Lives of Teachers by Anonymous Welcome to “East Hudson,” an elite private school in New York where the students are attentive, the colleagues are supportive, and the tuition would make the average person choke on its string of zeroes. You might think a teacher here would have little in common with most other teachers in America, but as this veteran educator—writing anonymously—shows in this refreshingly honest account, all teachers are bound by a common thread. Stripped of most economic obstacles and freed up by anonymity, he is able to tell a deeper story about the universal conditions, anxieties, foibles, generosities, hopes, and complaints that comprise every teacher’s life. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 We Don’t Eat Our Classmates by Ryan T. Higgins It's the first day of school for Penelope Rex, and she can't wait to meet her classmates. But it's hard to make human friends when they're so darn delicious! That is, until Penelope gets a taste of her own medicine and finds she may not be at the top of the food chain after all. . . . Suggested by Emma Gisclair, Curriculum Materials Center

 Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: an inquiry into values by Robert M. Pirsig Acclaimed as one of the most exciting books in the history of American letters, this modern epic became an instant bestseller upon publication in 1974, transforming a generation and continuing to inspire millions. A narration of a summer motorcycle trip undertaken by a father and his son, the book becomes a personal and philosophical odyssey into fundamental questions of how to live. The narrator's relationship with his son leads to a powerful self-reckoning; the craft of motorcycle maintenance leads to an austerely beautiful process for reconciling science, religion, and humanism. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

[saigeboredeaux-blog]

( cisfemale ) haven’t seen NAEVA BARABESI around in a while. the NAOMI SCOTT lookalike has been known to be (+) STEADFAST & (+) JUDICIOUS, but SHE can also be (-) CHARY & (-) DETACHED. The 21 year old is a JUNIOR majoring in ANTHROPOLOGY. I believe they’re living in POTENTAS but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( james! 20. EST. she/they. )

hello hello ! i’m james and this is my baby naeva !! she’s an oldie but also ... a new..ie ?? let’s just say it’s been a hot minute since i’ve awoken her ! i’ll probably pick up another muse at some point b/c that’s Who I Am and it was already a struggle figuring out who to bring in first so jskjdflg (except ik who i’d bring in for my second muse :~) ) anyways !! let’s get right into it !

TW: implications of illness.

a e s t h e t i c s

black a-line dresses and black oxford shoes and their light tapping against polished floors, parental expectations and eyerolls beginning lectures, sunglasses under fluorescent lights and the same old tired excuses. driving drunk friends so there’s a reason to say no, laughing off backhanded remarks and clinking of glasses, that old vintage watch that no longer functions but the presence brings a comfort like no other. tossing and turning and waking up and falling asleep--vicious cycles in a battle between dreams and reality. knowledge, and the ever-ending thirst to learn more--love for the surrounding world and an undying will to live. noses in books and the peaking gazes from underneath so, curiosity peaking and a longing to feel alright in one’s skin.

general info !!

full name: naeva ornella barabesi

nickname(s): to be determined t b h

b.o.d. - september 1st, 21 yrs old, virgo

label(s): the facade, the pastiche, the prevaricator, the salubrious

height: 5′6″

hometown: lecce, italy

sexuality: brave of u to assume naeva even know

her stats can be found HERE

and her pinterest can be found HERE !!

biography !!

to those her parents boast to, naeva is a miracle child by all means. guests told that she was born perfect--silent out the womb, easy as day to care for after years of trying for child with no avail; an angel taking vessel in their baby daughter. she is born to liars.

born to old money invested in hedge funds and the vice president of an international bank, surrounded by old buildings of exquisite architectural design--the barabesi family lived lavishly. this is not a lie. their mansions and sports cars and boastful superiority is all, undoubtedly real.

a child born with ailments to last her lifetime is a precious miracle who needs to stay quiet when mommy and daddy are bragging to their guests.

being oh so fragile only meant a lack of socialization except for when it’s convenient--the endless faces of specialists, or tutors, or her parents’ friends.

they love their daughter, yes, but after years and years of building perfect empires and fitting the mold they’ve so desperately tried to label themselves--god be damned if little naeva wasn’t their golden star right from the moment she was born.

born and, for a short time, living in lecce, italy--the barabesi family soon moved to the states in pursue of the best of the best doctors. specifically, cold spring, new york.

small enough to go undisturbed, the young girl spent her time learning and learning; whether it were numbers or vague history or what to take on what days and how to turn a cough into a smile.

and being treated as far too fragile--too delicate, as if she could shatter if you so dared look at her for too long.

eventually, the vicious cycle shifted to a life manageable. though still feeling as if she walked on eggshells, naeva could attend elementary school.

sure, it was stressful--but god, it was her life; she was not a burden, no matter the circumstance and no matter what ailed her.

years passed as naeva juggled the golden child act--attending school, her parents’ little parties, her after school lessons, endless doctor appointments--a blur, in all honesty. a near comfortable routine.

it wasn’t until naeva was in high school that she got a little, well, restless

routine is good, yes--but she was a girl who wanted to live a life where she didn’t have to worry about her health.

it were small things at first, skipping class to read in the library (how very rebellious, wow) and staying out of her house as much as possible without raising suspicions--whether it was stopping at the convenience store after violin or purposely hitting as many red lights as possible.

though naeva seemed to spiral her senior year, really, that’s when it became an issue.

unraveling quickly for reasons she really couldn’t fathom, she felt as if she wasn’t living enough.

going to parties instead of the library, committing vandalism with newly acquired friends, ignoring all the don’ts that came with being her and getting just. absolutely plastered.

it was at one of these parties, a college party nonetheless--where naeva met tatiana samuels.

the girl fascinated an impressionable naeva in a way she didn’t understand--it grew into a friendship, and for the rest of the year; if tatiana was at a party, so was naeva.

but of course--reality got to the best of naeva and when her health crumbled, she withdrew. canceled her bad girl subscription; practically swore it off.

it hadn’t helped that the entire situation had thoroughly freaked out her parents, and suddenly, naeva was six again. back to the basics. this time, however, naeva thought that just maybe, it was for the best.

her parents practically forced her to attend lockwood (not that she really minded) in order to keep her close to home--even so, naeva is living as independently as she can.

personality

it’s sort of easy to mistake naeva for a very serious kinda woman; y’know, no laughs or jokes or inappropriate behavior.

it’s the air around her, really; cool, calm, and collected; aloof yet confident, eyes so dark y’can’t tell if they’re judging or commending you. always seen with a yeti in hand, undoubtedly filled with decaf coffee--booties and tights and tasteful blazers. she’s your fourth grade substitute teacher that wouldn’t let you talk during free time.

but well, it’s a mistake.

she’s responsible and rational and work-oriented but god, does she value humor and amusement and all the good little things in life.

maybe she’s not the funniest person around, but she’ll attempt banter with you--and if you’re passionate about something she’ll hear you out; hell, she’ll support your excitement, maybe even share some of her own passions. naeva is constantly amused, even if her mouth’s set in a hard line.

she studies anthropology because of her love for human life and culture; her minor’s in sociology for god’s sake. naeva loves life, loves liveliness, loves people who feel intensely--naeva’s got a lot of love in her.

it’s a shame she’s so afraid to let people in.

don’t get it wrong--she’ll cozy right up to you but...is she really? or is she just letting you see what she wants you to see? it pains her, as somebody who feels so much, to act so...distant? she by no means gives off a cold air, but she’s the kind of gal you know without really knowing.

god, naeva is so scared. it hurts, sometimes, how scared shitless she is--the events happening in lockwood, secrets being revealed--the possibility that hers will be one day out in the opened without her consent. she just wants to live her life. she really, really, just wants to live.

‘course, she keeps it very very contained. her friends must not know how goddamn stressed she is, at all times of the day--the woman hates pity. she’s been pitied since birth. she wants no more of it.

it’s precisely why she keeps her medical history so hidden. she isn’t ashamed of her life, no, she’s alive and that’s what matters--but the pity. imagined or not--the thought of it is unbearable. maybe it’s silly, maybe a little too irrational for a girl considered so...rational, but, she can’t help it.

it’s not anybody’s business anyway--she tells herself, at least--

it’s led to her lying a lot--unnecessary, but she panics often--when she disappears from school for an extended amount of time, it’s because of family drama or events or public appearances or whatnot.

which, sometimes really gets to her--she’s supposed to be dependable, reliable, trustworthy--goddammit, and she can’t even do that. she’s just a girl with a lot of excuses up her sleeve and one day she’s going to run out.

don’t get her wrong though ! she’s not a passive person, y’know, just because she can be quiet and distant. if she sees an injustice she will speak out about it--she’s got a lot of opinions, and is pretty much ready to attack you with words.

tl;dr - kind and a Pal whilst keeping a distance--always stressed but [laugh track] you’ll never know. she’s also a big nerd when it comes to cultures and just. learning in general. loves history and sociology and anthropology and all that. like...a mom friend? very responsible, will be the designated driver Always and take care of you, it’s just...you only really know what she wants you to know, and she’s a lil bit of a liar. Big Smart, is always amused. not as serious as you’d think.

OH! and she’s very noncommittal in the relationship-sense. like...she’s probably dated around a little bit but the longer it lasts the more tense she gets and more often than not she breaks things off.

disclaimer!

illnesses can be a very sensitive topic and i promise i’m not being vague about it without reason: i’ll be going into it for a task. i’m always cautious on how i portray it, so please let me know when and where i can better myself if something feels off ! the last thing i want to do is come off as inaccurate.

i also was going to do a fun fact/headcanon section but my brain? big dumb and i literally forgot everything i wanted to write so lmao. one of these days, expect a lil headcanons thing. but for now ...

OH! here’s a fun fact! she’s rich as FUCK. that is all, good day.

wanted connections

god give me everything

like i’m really up for anything.

give her a best friend! somebody who really truly knows her

or somebody who Thinks they really know her tehehehfgjfghj

let her mom friend others! be the parental figure in this relationship!

fake friends b/c she’s got money.

study buddies!

people she tutors!

somebody who lets her be a lil’ wild, loosen up.

on the other end: let her keep somebody rooted! a good influence.

ex partners! on good or bad terms??

hook ups! one night stands! fwbs!

ex-hookups ! one night stands that lead to awkward encounters

a thorn in her side, an absolute Annoyance.

on the other hand, let me use naeva to badger your characters. let Her be the annoyance.

enemies? for whatever reason ??

on-and-off-agains!

will they won’t they?

ex-friends! ex-friends trying to fix their friendship!

tense relationships!

oh, your mail keeps getting mixed with mine ?? wth ?? we don’t even have similar names ??

conspiracy theory buds!

STOP running INTO ME on ur morning JOGS u PRICK i’m trying to WALK HERE

purposely stealing the last like...breakfast sandwich in the food court just to be that asshole

bickering. just lots of bickering.

somebody who is just suspicious of naeva’s lil lies n is like HMM and she’s like OH NO U DON’T

somebody she rly wants to be close with but just :) refuses :)

anything unrequited. anything one-sided. love or hate or platonic idc i want it all.

pls n thank.

like this n i’ll msg you of course !!

[courtneypcastro]

My Personal, Simplified, Not-So-Confusing-After-All Definition of Terms

Need to wake up on time for class? Set your phone alarm and if you’re a hard sleeper, set a different sound every 5 minutes. Not sure if you’ll make it on time? Check your ETA or Estimated Time of Arrival. A slow writer? Take pictures of the slides if you don’t have a laptop. Bag too small to carry a lot of books? Your phone is a library. Living in this generation, modern technology is what gets us through the day. Living in this generation makes me wonder how hard it was back in the day. Everything is within reach, but can we technically discuss technology and what it does for us? For education? I thought so.

Last Saturday, August 17, 2019, was probably the most stressful time I’ve had in class. In Technology for Teaching and Learning Class, we had a heavy introduction. It was like a ton of stones fell on me and I’m dead. How can my “lifestyle” be a confusing subject. Just because we are users and consumers of it doesn’t mean we know everything about it. After a three-hour lecture about five ideas, (I computed and it basically took us 36 minutes to discuss each. I mean WOW, RIGHT?) I will try to explain what they are in the simplest terms. These are the following ideas:

Educational Technology

Instructional Technology vs Technology Education

IT vs ICT

Media Literacy, Educational Media, and Media Education

E- Learning

They’re not as easy as it looks, trust me. Are you ready? You better be. Let’s start.

Educational Technology

Like how we did in class, I will dissect both words: Education and Technology. Education came from the Greek word Educare which means “to put in” and Educere which means “drawing GOOD stuff out”. There is an emphasis on the good because if something unreasonable or bad is being taught, it’s not education, but I guess more on manipulation. Education is a process of pouring in and drawing out learning. It involves relationship between educator and learner

On the other hand, there’s the word ‘technology’. From the Greek word tekhnologia which means “systematic treatment of an art, craft, or technique” or techne which means “art or craft,'' technology is a planned systematic method of working to achieve planned outcomes - a process, not a product. It is the application of science development. Technology does not only mean electronics, but the tools that get us through the day. 

Finally, let’s put the two words together. Educational Technology or we can say Technologies of Education (which I think would’ve made everything easy to understand if we just said it like that), is the art, craft, and techniques responding to our educational system or needs. Educational Technology means the curriculum, facilities, instructional technologies, assessments, etc. These are the elements which make up and educational system. Imagine it as an umbrella that addresses all of the educational needs. 

Still with me? Congratulations on completing the 20% of the lecture.

Instructional Technology vs Technology Education

Let’s start with the harder term which is Instructional Technology. Since we have defined the word ‘technology’, let’s talk about ‘instructional’. From the word itself ‘instruction’, it means a detailed information telling how something should be done, operated, or assembled. Notice that the definition used isn’t ‘a command or order’. In other words, instruction means teaching (as in the noun). Now, let’s put the two words together: Instructional Technology or Technologies of Instruction. This refers to the educational technologies that fall under instruction. An example is delivery of lesson and assessment or evaluation. How does this relate to Educational Technology? Instructional Technology is under Educational Technology. This simply means that Instructional Technology is a tool for an educational need.

For the easier part, we will define Technology Education. Technology Education is something that is taught just like Mathematics, Science, or Englisht subjects. It studies the knowledge, development or evolution, systems, utilization, and significance of technology. It is simply a subject to be taught to improve the learner’s technology literacy. This means that the learner is able to apply what is taught in Technology Education. Now, how does this relate to Instructional Technology and Educational Technology. Like Instructional Technology, Technology Education falls under Technology Education just like other subjects, classes, or programs. On the other hand, Instructional Technology is needed in Technology Education for it to be successful. 

Are you dying it? We almost, not really, there!

IT vs ICT

*Disclaimer: Prepare some tissue either for your nose or tears that’ll come out of your eyes.

To begin with, IT is a broader term and that’s why it’s easier to define it first. You hear IT as a college major or a profession and you are right! However, there’s more to it. IT or Information Technology refers to the ENTIRE industry that involves computers, networking, software, and other equipment to manage information. It is simply that!

Meanwhile, ICT or Information and Communication Technology falls under IT. It encompasses information and communication devices and the software that enables them to function. ICT can be seen as an integration of IT with media broadcasting technologies, audio/ video processing and transmission and telephony. ICT is often used in the context of education whereas IT is often used in the context of the industry.

Great News: We’re halfway done! You can take a break if you can’t take it anymore.

Media Education, Educational Media, and Media Literacy

The confusion with the three is almost the same with our first two ideas. Now that you get the idea, it is easier to grasp this one. The difference is almost the same but in the context of media. So, before I explain these three concepts, let’s define Media. Media is simply communication tools in order to deliver and receive messages. This includes the telephone, television, social media applications, and the newspaper. 

Educational Media are basically the tools of communication in the context of education. The Media of Education includes a school newspaper or a crash course video. Educational Media’s end goal is for the learner to gain in relation to the definition of education. Educational Media falls under Educational Technology as it addresses an educational need.

Media Education, like Technology Education, is a subject to be taught. It is the study of media which means it emphasizes the acquisition both of cognitive knowledge about how media are produced and distributed and of analytical skills for interpreting and valuing media content. Media Education is taught in order to improve the learner’s Media Literacy. 

What is Media Literacy? It is simply the result of Media Education. What does a Media Literate person look like? He has a clear understanding of the communication media used in their society and the way they operate and to acquire skills using these media to communicate with others. As a result, He is a capable recipient and creator of content being able to access, analyze, evaluate, and communicate messages in a variety of forms in order to live responsibly in their society. 

We’re one step away from the finish line! You got this!

E-Learning

Finally, I will end this blog with an easy concept which is E-Learning or (YOU GUESSED IT!) Electronic Learning. The best way to define this is said by the Ministry of Communication and Technology New Zealand,

 “E-learning is defined as learning facilitated by the use of digital tools and content that involves some form of interactivity, which may include online interaction between the learner and their teacher or peers.”

 In other words, E-learning uses the internet as a means to enhance a learner’s resources, knowledge, and performance. 

Before I end this blog, I just want to commend you for finishing. If you’re reading this, it means you survived. And so did I! Explaining those concepts were surprisingly a lot easier than trying to understand it. If it is still a bit confusing, better pray! All kidding aside, it is a lot of information to take in, but one thing that helped me understand these concepts is by connecting them. Notice that I also did that as I explained each one. As Technology for Teaching and Learning is introduced, learning about IT and ICT gives us a broader view of what we will be learning. We must know what that thing is that makes up the Educational System which is what we discussed as the Educational Technology. We must also know what makes up these Educational Technologies such as Educational Media, Media and Technology Education, and E-Learning in order to improve our Technology and Media Literacy as we live responsibly in our communities as teachers and learners.

[bukegumin]

Personal skill development and goal

Now I have stayed at Sunderland University for five months. When I came shortly, but it was enough to make me feel worthwhile. In my opinion, this school can provide everything I want, all the facilities, teachers, and staff are professional. I have never heard of anyone who has sought academic help from a school or teacher, and the library has a lot of online databases that can download all the papers and reports you want without spending a penny. Thinking and analyzing myself for personal development is very important for my future life.

 Self-evaluation

Excellent: optimistic and positive, self-motivated, team-oriented and collaborative, with strong innovative meaning, strong hands-on practical ability, and self-learning ability. Strong enthusiasm for the cause, strong sense of responsibility, principle of doing things, calm, consider the problem is comprehensive and thoughtful; face the problem to develop a good habit of independent thinking; be honest and kind to friends, can get along well with others; the only deficiency Is a bit introverted, not very communicative, not good at expressing

 Professional values

Based on family conditions, first consider the higher-paying jobs, and have the opportunity to learn from them and gain new knowledge for the chosen career; of course, if there is no wage income limit, I will consider my favorite job first. At the same time, consider whether the job can achieve your goals or your own ideas; finally, consider whether this job is suitable for me, whether my ability is competent, and so on.

 According to my own interests and the majors I have studied, I will make a preliminary plan for the coming year as follows:

Personal development, interpersonal relationship, and willingness of the personality of the will: During this period, we will do a good job in the basic work of the career, actively complete the tasks, strengthen communication, humbly ask for advice, maintain interest in new things, and be close to the complex society. As well as people who are optimistic, I believe that there will always be solutions to any difficulties encountered, and they will dare to adhere to themselves but learn to listen to others first. Be able to uphold justice and uphold one's own principles,

Lifestyle, hobbies: In a proper social environment, try to form a regular and good personal habit, and participate in social activities such as gatherings, as well as necessary fitness activities, such as walking, playing badminton, etc. Reward social charity activities, such as actively participating in donations to help the poor, blood donation activities, and so on.

 For professional interests, although I am not sure that I am in a specific occupation, I really don't like to learn theoretical knowledge, so I am more loyal to the actual work. Maybe my hands-on ability is generally not very strong, so during college, I will focus on developing my own hands-on ability to lay a good foundation for future careers. I have always believed in my ability and treated things very seriously. I pursue to be able to do things better, to have my own opinions on things, and to learn from others' good methods and listen to other people's suggestions.

Then, Talking about the reading skills I have learned. Learn the background of this book. Before I read a book, I will quickly search the Internet to see the background of the writing, the environment, the author, and then browse the book's comments, find a concise summary of the summary, read the recommendation. This key step can help me prepare for what I want to read and let me know the author's motivation. Once the focus of reading is clear, it is time to ask specific questions. Write down five to ten specific questions that you would like the author to answer. By asking some questions before you start, you first set up an objective basis for why you read this book. These questions will make it easier for you to determine if your reading has achieved your goals when you read them. Before I start reading the first page, I will first study the catalog to see how the chapters and chapters are constructed. Then I browsed the book and the section title. Next, I read the chapter outline and even the conclusive chapter. Anything that looks like a short summary will be read first (and frankly, I often read the last page before reading the first page). Then I was ready to start reading the preface. Readers often want to plunge into the book, but the time spent viewing a book is a rewarding investment. This step will also protect me from wasting time reading mediocre books! In the process of reading, we must develop a habit of reading with purpose and focus, so that we are good at discovering key points, new problems, new ideas, and new materials when reading. Some point at the beginning and end of the article to point out the central idea, while others express the central idea through the main events, as long as the main event can quickly determine the central idea, and so on. If there is a direct discourse in the text, mark it down; if not, just summarize it in a short discourse. Thinking after reading. After you have finished reading a book, stop and give yourself some time to make a final summary and evaluation. Go back to the inside pages of the book or write these ideas in your notebook. Construct a mind map. When you finish reading a book, you can re-screen it in your mind. The blurred place can be folded back. Then you can make a mind map of the whole book (or a part) and sort out the main characters, deeds, opinions.

 Reading an English original and encountering a word you don't know, don't worry about it. You can try to guess the meaning of the word according to the context. After reading it, check it out to see if your guess is accurate. Over time, you will find that your skills are becoming more and more proficient, and you will be able to cope with the exams when you encounter words that you don’t recognize in reading comprehension.I recommend all kinds of newspapers, because many of the articles in the newspaper are commentary, and the writer persuades you to believe his point of view. This is the same purpose as the one you wrote.

 Then, with regard to word skills, my general opinion is that it can only be regarded as a kind of pure physical labor, and it requires repeated manual labor. I mean that learning English requires repeated memories. Memory is the reflection of past experience in the human brain. It includes four basic processes of memorization, preservation, reproduction and recall. Its forms include image memory, conceptual memory, logical memory, emotional memory, and sports memory.

 However, the enemy of memory is forgotten. To improve memory, the essence is to avoid and overcome forgetting. I will concentrate on my class. When you remember, you can only concentrate on your mind, concentrate on distracting thoughts and the outside world, and the cerebral cortex will leave a deep memory trace and not easy to forget. If the spirit is distracted and used with one heart, it will greatly reduce the memory efficiency. Strong interest. If you are interested in learning materials and knowledge objects, even if you spend more time, it is difficult to remember to understand memory. Understanding is the foundation of memory. Only things that you understand can remember and remember for a long time. It’s not easy to remember if you just rely on rote memorization. For important learning content, if you can understand and memorize, the memory effect will be better. Over-learning. That is, on the basis of remembering the learning materials, remember a few more times, to the extent of memorizing and remembering. Review in time. The speed of forgetting is fast and slow. For those who have just learned the knowledge, it is an effective means to strengthen the memory traces and prevent forgetting. Frequently recalled. When studying, constantly trying to recall, can make the errors in the memory be corrected, the omissions can be made up, and the difficult points in the learning content can be remembered more firmly. In my leisure time, I often recall the objects I remember in the past, and I can avoid forgetting. Audiovisual combination. Simultaneous use of language functions and visual and auditory organ functions to enhance memory and improve memory efficiency. This is much better than a single silent read.

 Then talk to manage time. The necessity of efficient manager time management Why do efficient managers manage time? This is a matter of opinion. However, because many college administrators do not manage the time scientifically and effectively, they often cause exhaustion, but they can’t catch big things, small things can’t catch them, and waste time is widespread. There are many reasons for the waste of efficient management time. Subjectively, on the one hand, it may be because managers want to do too many things, but because there is no scientific distinction between priorities and even lack of clear goals, It leads to a lack of prioritization of work, and may end up with no tail; on the other hand, it may be because it is not good at authorization, it has to spend a lot of time on specific matters, or because of hasty decision-making, the entire school time and other resources are wasted.  Objectively speaking, the reason for efficient managers to waste time comes from superior leadership, work systems, and living and working conditions. Regardless of the reason, once the time of the efficient manager is wasted, the damage to the entire department or even the entire efficiency is extremely great, which may lead to the efficient and inefficient repetitive work of the department, the unit and the whole, and the final result is not good. In order to avoid the recurrence of wasted time, it is necessary to manage the time of efficient managers. Efficient managers never have time to do everything, but by managing time, they are guaranteed to have time to do the most important things.

 According to the situation, the classification memory and chart memory are used flexibly to shorten the memory process. Or use the methods of editing, taking notes, making cards, etc. to enhance memory. best time. Generally speaking, for me, 9-11 in the morning, 3-4 in the afternoon, and 7-10 in the evening is the best memory time. I like to use the above time to memorize hard points and learning materials, and the effect is much better. Science uses the brain. Scientifically use the brain on the basis of ensuring nutrition, active rest, and physical exercise to maintain the brain. Only by preventing excessive fatigue and maintaining positive and optimistic emotions can we greatly improve the efficiency of the brain. This is the key to improving memory.

 Defining the goals that you want to achieve, making yourself aspirations for longing and pursuit, and forcing your attention to focus on reminding and urging yourself to complete tasks; second, relying on self-control and self-regulation, with a strong will All kinds of outsiders are struggling to fight, reaching out to the ears, and quietly overtaking my mood.

Mastering the rules and methods, and paying attention to scientific principles should run through the entire learning process of students. There are three steps in this learning process: one is the preparation, the second is the class, and the third is the review. Prep is to understand yourself, mainly to understand what you don't understand.

About English Listening List the words you need to pay attention to during class. List some of the words you often hear during the class. Bring this list to the class and pay attention to the words above. Every time you hear a word, make a mark next to it to see which words appear most frequently. When preparing the list, you can write in advance the words that you think need attention. For example, if you are learning about tourism, you can write more travel English vocabulary. This kind of listening practice allows you to understand and grasp the context and specific usage of these words in specific scenarios. When you are familiar with the most frequently heard words, you can turn your attention to other words on the list that are less marked. Ask your classmates. After you have learned a lot with the teacher, asking for more classmates will also make you gain something. Find a classmate who is willing to study with you. Listen to a podcast, speech, song or other audio content together, and then find some words to test each other.

Two people can learn from each other to learn from each other - some words that you don't understand, maybe your classmates understand, and vice versa. In addition to improving your English listening, this will also allow you to increase your understanding of each other and relax more in class.

 Academic planning is the most important stage of life learning habits. Hard work and hard work, every step of university life is not only a reliable guarantee for completing university tasks but also a necessary condition for future work and lifelong learning. I give myself 2 hours a day to do my favorite things. In this semester, I started to learn video production, hoping to become a good video producer, hoping to share my joy and happiness. During the video production study, I plan to collect some Sunderland videos every week to show the international students' struggle and hard work in Sunderland, hard work and sweat, harvest joy and so on.

 Improve interpersonal communication skills, learn how to behave, and learn how to do it. Carefully plan your own study plan, take the initiative to train, humbly ask the teachers and classmates to do their own work seriously, really care about each classmate, and get along with the students. Students in the school earnestly practice making friends and accumulate rich extracurricular knowledge. You should fully understand your major, consider whether you are studying or working in the future, test your knowledge and skills, improve your sense of responsibility, initiative, and frustration, and begin to selectively supplement other professional knowledge to fill yourself.

 To sum up, When you look up at the sky, don't forget to be down to earth. Looking up at the stars and down to earth must be combined. At the same time of starting a business, we must move forward step by step, and finally, achieve success. At the same time, recognize the gap between the current state and the ideal state, pay attention to the focus on time, and take precautionary measures on the risk to eliminate interference, and do not blindly compare.

[ravimyneni]

Reasons why we must get rid of IIT-JEE

The entrance process is such that IITs produce one-dimensional graduates who may not even be interested in the subjects they gave many years of their life to.

We should get rid of the IIT-JEE. Given the iconic status of the IITs and the resulting craze for its famed entrance exam in India, this statement may come across almost as blasphemy.

But IITs are scientific institutions, and the tradition of science is to hold nothing sacred and examine everything through the less of evidence.

Radical as it may sound, this sentiment has been gaining ground of late. The HRD ministry mooted a proposal to radically reform the IIT-JEE by even dismantling the JEE-Advanced, the flagship exam for the IITs. That proposal, however, was shot down by the IIT council a couple of months back. This rigidity to re-examine, introspect and improve oneself is alarming, and that is indeed the root cause of many of the flaws of this celebrated exam.

 The test has been gamed by coaching centers

When a high-stakes exam, watched closely by millions of people, is not redesigned for years, the stakeholders manage to decipher it completely.

 Coaching centers have figured out the typical problems given in the exam, built a library of similar problems, and approaches to solving them.

Lakhs of students take the IIT-JEE every year. It is the gateway to the dream destination for those students, the source of the ultimate bragging right for millions of their parents, and the fountain of unlimited riches for the coaching centers. With so much at stake, it’s no wonder that the exam is watched closely and patterns of its questions analyzed in great detail.

On top of that, the exam has not seen any radical redesign. Originally a single-phase exam, it was split between JEE-Mains and JEE-Advanced some years ago, but the main focus of the exam — testing high-level problem-solving abilities based on quantitative sums drawn from Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics — has remained the same over the past 30 years or so.

With so many interested parties avidly scrutinizing the broadly unchanged exam for the past few decades, is it really a surprise that the exam no longer remains a test for raw brainpower?

The coaching centers have already figured out the typical problems given in the exam, built a huge library of similar problems, and approaches to solving them. They start drilling those problems and solutions in the students’ head from early years, often from as early as Class 8.

So what was once a test of intelligence (of the quantitative kind, admittedly) has become more of a test of how much money you can spend to access the best coaching centers, and how early you start your single-minded pursuit of this dream (or nightmare?).

 The test has become so difficult so as to render it meaningless

If too many students compete for an exam and start preparing from an early age, it breeds an arms race. The same level of questions that separated students of different abilities ten years ago will cease to do so now — because everyone is simply more prepared to handle those questions. The questions need to become increasingly difficult to differentiate between students.

This is compounded by the fact that IIT-JEE tests skills in a narrow area — quantitative problem-solving in Physics, Chemistry, and Math. It is possible for a student to attain a high level of mastery in a narrow area. With so many students attaining near-perfect competence in one narrow domain, the test must, over the years, become much, much more difficult to retain its ability to select — which is exactly what happened over the years.

  If too many students compete for an exam and start preparing from an early age, it breeds an arms race.

Instead, if the test evaluated wider (and possibly unrelated) skill sets — for example, quantitative skills, reading skills, and social skills — it would have been difficult for students to master all of those to a certain level of perfection; and differentiation would have been possible through even a moderately challenging test.

 It breeds unidimensional professionals

As a result of focusing so narrowly during the formative years of learning, millions of students are ignoring important skills needed for success at the workplace and in life.

In IIT-factories of Kota, and in similar cram-schools all over India, students are learning Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics at the exclusion of all other skills necessary for success.

In future, they are often handicapped by an inability to read, write or speak at a level needed for professional success. They often lack nuanced social and historical awareness needed to become vibrant members of the society. Working solo with their textbooks for many years, they often underappreciate the value of teamwork and collaboration.

The comeuppance sometimes comes mid-career, when these unidimensional professionals cannot progress to managerial levels.

Sometimes, the day of reckoning comes sooner, as they get rejected in numerous interviews right at the beginning of their career due to the lack of ability to express themselves.

Sure, one can argue that many IITians become successful corporate leaders and entrepreneurs. However, that’s a tiny fraction of the graduates IITs churn out — most remain anonymous cubicle-dwellers in mid-level positions.

 Students training for just one exam from early in life lack social and historical awareness needed to become vibrant members of the society.

Given that the IITs pretty much get to choose the best from lakhs of school-leaving students, should we, as a nation, be happy with only a few success stories? Shouldn’t such ‘chosen elites’ have left a much stronger imprint, both in scientific domain and elsewhere?

 The difficulty level of IIT-JEE makes studying in IIT redundant

To stay ahead of the coaching centers and to be able to differentiate between intensely prepared students, IIT-JEE now has to necessarily pose notoriously difficult sums to the aspirants. This simply meant that the level of sums posed has become more advanced, rather more inventive or creative.

While the exam theoretically stays within the prescribed syllabus, most of the problems posed in IIT-JEE are practically college-level sums. Even when I studied for IIT-JEE around 25 years back, the recommended Physics books for preparation were Fundamentals of Physics by Resnick and Halliday, and Problems in General Physics by I E Irodov: both college-level calculus-based physics books. I presume things have gotten only more difficult since then.

Now the question is: what is the value of a college education if you are expected to study a lot of college-level stuff just to get there?

 A college entrance exam should test interest

IIT-JEE fails miserably here. College admission processes in most advanced countries, notably in the US, check for the aspirant’s demonstrated an interest in the college as well as the intended major. IIT-JEE, however, does nothing of that sort.

Lakhs of students, through unthinking herd mindset, pursue a dream that’s not really theirs. Many, after reaching their dream place, become disenchanted and end up switching careers to pursue MBA. For some, the frustration leads to drug abuse. Some end up committing suicide. Even students who plod on and finish their degrees do not end up doing anything remotely related what they studied in IIT.

Such mismatches happen because unlike most other college admission processes, IIT-JEE restricts itself to a written exam, without any test of interest. Everyone knows that people are most productive when he or she works on areas that he or she are interested in. By not checking for this obvious area, IIT-JEE indirectly helps breed a discontent workforce.

 For IITs, IIT-JEE is the hammer, and everything looks like a nail

I was delighted when a few IITs decided to offer a BS in Economics a few years back. Our society’s economic understanding is quite limited, which pulls us down. People from all strata of society fall for Ponzi schemes, unable to understand the relationship between risk and return. Most people do not appreciate the importance of copyrights and patents, hindering innovation and progress. In addition, common masses have a fetish for free goods that the government doles out, not knowing that there is no free lunch.

I thought an economics course at the IITs could go a long way to make our society more economically literate. However, that hope was soon belied, because I saw the selection process for this course is the same old IIT-JEE.

Yes — you heard it right, one has to master quantitative Physics, Chemistry and Math to be eligible to study economics, a discipline requiring vastly different skill sets.

 Shouldn’t such ‘elites’ have left a much stronger imprint, both in the scientific domain and elsewhere?

Not only that, those Economics graduates need to study all the common first-year engineering courses, including electrical circuits and mechanics of deformable bodies! Nothing can be more ill-conceived than that.

Solution: A standardized test

So, if IIT-JEE has outlived its utility, what could be the way forward? A clear solution is a standardized, skill-oriented exam like SAT or ACT. Almost all US universities accept SAT or ACT scores as one of their key admission criteria. Such a system will obviate the need for multiple selection processes and entrance examinations in India, reducing student burden significantly.

As such exams test a wide range of skills (reading, critical thinking, analysis of science and social sciences, problem-solving, writing), it will also make our learning more skill-oriented.

We may argue that the cost of SAT is prohibitive for most Indians. If that is so, we can develop our own home-grown version. Skeptics may also reason that a standardized test like that does not test aptitude in subjects like Physics or Chemistry, so how will an elite engineering institute like IIT select students through such an exam?

Well, top-ranked scientific institutions of the world, including MIT and Caltech, use precisely this test to admit their students.

A person who is widely read can communicate well through writing and can critically evaluate issues can become more successful as an engineer or scientist as opposed to one who has only a narrow mastery over a small range of subjects.

We Indians take our exams very seriously. The only way to get the nation to focus on skill building is to incorporate it into the exam system.

If we are really serious about addressing our skill-shortage, if we want our future generations to cope with the rapidly changing world, we must reform our exam system radically, and urgently.

[ladylibertypress]

Reading ‘Publishing as an Artistic Toolbox’ in the Digital Age

Publishing infiltrated the art world as an art in and of itself in magazines, on the Internet, in libraries, artistic collections to notions of the bookshop and round table discussions on and off-site in Publishing as an Artistic Toolbox at Kunsthalle Wien from November 2017 to January 2018. 

Nowadays, we even consume the analog as a digital experience. This lens i.e. “But is it instagramable?” or "Can I look it up online?” might at first, seem like a basic method but was a means to navigate the books on display.

Red tiled rooftops shape bookcases, replicated in three rows, symbolizing “home is where the books are” . Explanatory meta text is written on the walls, setting its timeline from 1989 to the present, marking the fall of the Berlin Wall and the beginning of the world wide web. This transformation from analog to digital shapes the perception of the show, spanning and panning the many mutations since publishing became an artistic practice.

Exhibition view: Publishing as an Artistic Toolbox: 1989-2017: Foto: Jorit Aust

Experience digitally

   Similar to the world wide web the show is vast in scope but mostly material. Rather than walk each red-roofed aisle like the wet dream of bibliophile, surf it like the Internet. Each publication opens up its own vortex in your hands or via clicks. A large screen hovers over a pedestal, displaying The Post-Digital Publishing Archive, a section in its own right. This project itself is an infinite exhibition. Worth clicking your way through from the comfort of your MacBook for the museum struggles to display post-internet art in interesting ways. The cultural value of this piece gets lost here. So take a look here, on your browser: http://p-dpa.net. Expand your resources of published data online wider by following up your search with the revolutionary UbuWeb, a platform from 1996 that opened up another galaxy to share avant-garde fine art.  What catches your eye? This is the mantra for the impatient digital reader. 

Fixated like a junkie, insatiable like a foodie; the viewer is blinded by bibliophilia. All the curators or rather collectors, headed by Luca Lo Pinto, and the authors, artists, publishers, binders, and coders involved are bibliophiles. Therefore, visiting this show feels like a crash course in library studies or creating an annotated bibliography for your Ph.D. in art. You have to be a true bibliophile —A minor fetishist to the endless textures, multiple formats and content of artist books—to appreciate this interactive index. Listicles are cool here. It’s paper on paper, on paper and on the Internet. 

   Upon entry you receive a booklet, the #toolbox17 index. Next to your iPhone camera, this proves just as important a device to roam and browse the exhibition. Another tool is an oversized newspaper —with no pictures— dryly explaining in small, tight paragraphs the background stories to the individual books in detail. You might have to meticulously read these manuals from front to back before you can even fathom understanding the deep contextual underpinnings of what your vision discloses. 

   The tricky almost virtual method to reading this show is to cross-reference between numbered and titled paragraphs on the wall, corresponding to a red-roofed shelf pew in Real Life. Then match the lists of typed book titles in your booklet with the real book or magazine. Eleven sections in total. On the sensory bright side, you may, however, touch the books individually, smell them, rifle through them, take a picture of a picture or text, and enhance your social media. This system  compares to an encyclopedic video game. The reader has been shrunk to a mouse cursor, and is now stuck in a very colorful version of Wikipedia, doomed to forever roam, browse and cross-reference. After reading on reading, a tiredness sets in similar to the affect after scrolling through your news feed or after reading this article.

Tabs

   Though the show sets up clear sections, there is an algorithmic randomness to what jumps out at the viewer. Each book is click-bait. You will come across dick picks such as the cover of Schism-zine as well as news on news and printed landmarks of sub and high culture. In the section Artist-run Magazines, The Magazine as Medium, you can find radical pieces of paper such as the fanzine Heyt Be! Created by Denis Beser, Sedef Karakas, and Bari’s Sinsi, it represents the Austrian local underground zine scene as well as the alternative and political printing culture in Turkey. These red roofs house a global village in their breath of artistic periodicals. Heyt Be! and the Swiss, Austrian and Berlin-ese art periodical Ztscrpt — each issue is named after a different Word Font— can also be purchased in the actual museum gift shop.

Heyt be!, Photo Credit: Nina Prader

Don’t confuse the gift shop with the art bookstore, you enter the show through. The latter is art, curated by Motto distribution and Gregorio Magnani, usually found in Berlin on Skalitzer Strasse as a shop. On display are meta books such as The Book on Books on Artist Books, exemplary of eternal and viral mirroring effects that suck a reader in to open another book tab. The museum guard mentions that he sometimes has to act as the bookkeeper here. On the wall, a text proclaims the relevance of the distributor and the bookshop to the art world. Aptly titled The Bookshop as a Medium (section 11), the implication uncovers one example from the spectrum of art book distributor practices. From a circulating gift economy, not-for-profit structures, non-profit, not-enough-for-profit to veritable art book gangsters, they all operate and advertise under the ideological belief that the notion of the book is the purest symbol for freedom of speech on the dog-eat-dog art market.

Filters

   Artists that read and make books is the overarching theme to the show’s theoretical filters. Each book has its own set of filters in turn. In the section Artist’s Library, the canonical artist chose inspiring works, relating to artistic publishing. Paul Chan’s choices: Self-Publishing for Dummies, H.P. Lovecraft’s Grimoire, a textbook of magic: Necronomicon and the University of Chicago’s A Manual of Style prove ironically helpful to understanding the show.

    To the book nerd, all the pretty books are markers of printed matter history. Celebrating icons of the printed matter magazine renaissances from the early 80s such as General Idea’s FILE Magazine’s final issues and Starship and Index from the turn of the Millennium. A contemporary response on the timeline is the New York-based independent online-culture, post-internet Sex Magazine, paying tribute to digital-natives and the unregulated Internet. 

File Magazine, Photo Credit: Nina Prader

   Also worth a skim to get that friction between analog versus Instagram photography vibe, SKULPI, annually published by Roman Schramm, is mostly matt technicolor photography, exploring different ways to express sculpture. Follow that up, with the 3-D materialization of the magazine THE THING Quarterly, a periodical that literally is an object edition. It takes the shape as 1 of 1000 hand-crafted numbered ceramic lottery balls. Does the one on display contain a diamond at its center or just a zirconia like the other 999? The message is the medium, worth a snapshot.

2.THE THING Quarterly Issue 28, 2015 THE THING Quarterly Issue 28, 2015, Foto: Kunsthalle Wien 2017

This is Not a Newspaper

   Artistic publishing is a collection of glitches —illy camouflaged— with which artists hack the public. The section The Message as Medium contains artists masking their message in newspapers and periodicals. Pop-culture activist and rabble-rousers like the Yes-Men, Steve Lambert, and Andy Bichlbaum, made a special edition of The New York Times with visions of a better America on July 4, 2009, with the headline piece: “Iraq War Ends”. This section juxtaposes well with the takeaway meta-newspaper NEW YORK POST flag profile by Michalis Pichler at the entrance of the exhibition. On its mostly white pages, this compilation counts flags from newspapers like The New York Times, New York Post, Village Voice around 9/11. Sometimes the absence of text acts self-explanatory like an emoji. In a similiar vein, the Profil magazine facsimile from 2000 by Hans-Peter Feldmann (Austria’s equivalent of the German Spiegel) has a blackened cover. The original rests next to it, Austria’s political mess best described in imagery as an emptied cover of political mourning. These alternative forms of mediating news resonate as artistic fake news with substance.

   On the whole, the show is a haptic google image search. How much you will actually see in full remains a mystery. A heap of book culture from a very specific time frame crystallizes in the shape of an index. There is much room to read or not read in between the lines. The publishing toolbox is obtuse. What is still legible in the age of digitization? Though a feeling of over-saturation, paired with attention deficit disorder sets in, the book remains a monumental signifier for knowledge and freedom of speech, everyone can subscribe, maybe even read one.

Profil by Andy Bichlbaum, Photo Credit: Nina Prader

Written as an Online Review for SLEEK Magazine January 2018

Exhibition Publishing as an Artistic Toolbox: 1989-2017  8/11 2017 - 28/1 2018 at Kunsthalle Wien

[jvzooproductsclub]

VidFuse Review | Demo | Exclusive Bonus | Video Creation App Making Video Content FAST and Easy!

VidFuse Review | Demo | Exclusive Bonus | Video Creation App Making Video Content FAST and Easy!

Learn more here: http://mattmartin.club/index.php/2018/07/11/vidfuse-review-demo-exclusive-bonus-video-creation-app-making-video-content-fast-and-easy/

Welcome To MattMartin.Club!

Thank You So Much For Taking The Time In Checking Out My Review On "Vidfuse"

Hope You Will Enjoy It!

CRUSHING IT online – Advertisers paying HUGE for Youtubers!

Overview:

Product Creator Walt Bayliss Product Name Vidfuse Front-End Price $47.00 Niche Video Marketing Bonuses YES! Listed Below! Refund 30 Days Money Back Guarantee Recommendation Yes, 100%. Launch Date 2018 – July – 12th @ 10:00 AM EST Official Website Checkout "Vidfuse" Official Site

Click Here @ 10:00 AM EST on 2018-July-12th To Get An Early Bird Discount On "Vidfuse" Along With My Exclusive Bonus!

Youtubers making millions. Literally, everyone from craft bloggers, slime makers, fishermen and cooking shows are absolutely crushing it online. If you’ve got the content , You’ve got the advertisers attention. Now – YOU can set this up for yourself and tap into the biggest flow of advertising cashflow that’s occurred in the last 5 years. The new App launching, called VIDFUSE is designed for you to achieve exactly that. Let’s check out my Vidfuse Review below for more details!

VIDFUSE REVIEW – WHAT IS IT?

Vidfuse is built for the person who wants to have a youtube following and wants to get into video quickly and easily. In short, it’s a video editing app that is built for your mobile device. While video editing tools aren’t new, Vidfuse brings together an incredible Web and Mobile experience allowing a video creator to shoot video on mobile, edit and publish right from the spot. No Desktop software required.

What you’re able to do with this particular platform is shoot a video on any mobile device, any number of different takes… stitch them together, add an intro, add an outro, cut out the bit, do your lower thirds as an overlay and push done. Then instantly publish to WordPress, Instagram, Facebook, Linkedin,… all of the sites that are out there. And YouTube, of course, Vimeo,… publish that finished product video with one click.

In detail, This is a real vlogging app for real people. Now you can Transform the videos in your phone into engagement with your fans with full in-phone editing that lets you to craft powerful vlog content in minutes. Publish your vlogs across a wide net of social accounts and blogs to build your following and drive organic traffic back to your main sites and offers. With no need for advertising, no need for expensive camera equipment, and no need for complicated editing software, VidFuse is the ultimate hand-held content machine.

Vidfuse Rating - 9.4/10

Quality - 9.5/10

Features - 9.5/10

Support - 9.5/10

Easy to use - 9.5/10

Bonus - 9.0/10

Summary

This rating only shows our ideas about this product, we strongly recommend you firstly see the demo/preview to get the whole picture. Remember, You're also be backed by 30 Day Money Back Guarantee No Question Asked! You've got nothing to lose. TRY IT TODAY! What's your thought? Please let us know!

CREATOR OF VIDFUSE 

Walter Bayliss, also known as Walt Bayliss, and his partner Matt Ford is the creator of Vidfuse. Walt has run an online career for many years. That amount of time has given him a solid foundation of knowledge and technical skills in making digital products. He is also the one who has made the product named Hydravid, DataJeo, Discover,… that have attracted huge attentions from the wide audience. Now, let’s look at the next part of this Vidfuse Review and find out its features.

FEATURES OF VIDFUSE 

Here are the details of what you will get inside this app:

VidFuse Editor

Think “Camtasia” or “Screenflow” style videos made in your phone with seamless drag and drop editing capabilities at your fingertips. Exporting 10 different videos to a laptop, and then messing about with a full-blown editing program just to create a personal vlog, isn’t just a waste of time, it’s like using a sledgehammer to break an egg. This is without a doubt the fastest, easiest way to take video that’s already on your phone and create something truly spectacular for your fans.

VidFuse Publisher

To witness the true power of VidFuse as automatically syndicates your video to the world’s biggest platforms. That means organic traffic flowing back to you from the farthest reaches of the internet 24/7. More fans to share your content. More referral traffic to your main offers. More shares. More subscribers. More tribe members. Everywhere, all of the time.

VidFuse publisher combines editing excellence with publishing power to syndicate your vlogs to the biggest social platforms in one simple step.

VidFuse Sound Effects & Music

VidFuse Music and soundtrack layer allows you to add amazing music tracks or voice overs to all of your content. Turn snapshots into videos and layover the soundtrack and BOOM. Keep people hypnotised with tracks that cover the entire length of your video. Give yourself an epic intro worthy of a WWE wrestler. Close your vlog with a sense of urgency and inspire action in your viewers… with VidFuse you are the Maestro.

VidFuse Library

VidFuse Cloud based library means your clips, best effects, lower third overlays and animated intro reels or subscribe inserts are only ever a click away. Produce laughs. Surprise and wake up a viewer that’s not fully engaged. Demonstrate key points. Add some colour.

VidFuse Library is always only a click away, giving you peace of mind that any video treat you choose to serve up will be eagerly devoured.

VidFuse Text Overlay

Just like a pro-editor you can overlay text to pass on critical information, create clear calls to action, and make sure your fans can still get your message with the volume turned down! With text overlays, your fans can be watching when they should be working, when they’re on the toilet, on the train home without disturbing Doris and her book, true fans can even be soaking up your marketing message while their significant other is fast asleep. The more ways people will hear, see, and read you message, the more people will join your tribe, and the more people in your tribe, the faster your business will grow.

VidFuse Cloud

No need to limit yourself to your phone. If you’ve got video on your hard drive, or you prefer the space and organization you get working on your laptop, then log into our fully featured cloud editor.

VidFuse Cloud is a great way to enhance your workflow, and take care of vlogs that might need more processing power and heavy lifting.

But that’s not all

When you grab it today, you will also get the access to VidFuse Masters Sessions where you’ll discover how vlogging newbies really become multi-millionaires. In this complete vlogging masterclass you’ll learn how to create a successful vlogging empire directly from some of the world’s most successful vloggers.

You’ll hear how regular people went from wet behind the ears vlogging nobodies… to REAL-LIFE vlogging superstars who pull in millions of subscribers, millions of views PER video, and millions of dollars in a single year, all by doing what they love.

The Vidfuse Superstars Of Youtube Series is easily valued at $497 and gives you all the tools, tips, and strategies you’ll need to take your everyday life, all its faults, all its dull moments, all its passions and surprises, and transform it into a vlogging business you can be proud of…

Just one of these interviews could unlock the doors to a million-dollar business, but VidFuse users who buy today get all of our interviews and all future interviews, valued at $497, for free as part of this special launch deal.

WHY YOU NEED VIDFUSE?

VidFuse isn’t just a matter of creating the video and syndicating it. It’s a matter of feeling good, proud, and confident about the video you publish. Of knowing that when you press publish your response is going to be overwhelmingly positive. Of being able to quickly, and easily suck up adoring fans from all 4 corners of the internet.

Could you start off with just your phone, and a YouTube account? Sure, you could. Buy why start at level 1 when a few tweaks in-phone you can start you off at level 10… ready to inspire the kind of following that brings big brands with big check-books knocking on your door in search of an influencer.

If you want to surpass the kinds of stories Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat have changed the world of marketing with you won’t get a better opportunity than right now with VidFuse.

Shoot, EDIT and share. Build hordes of loyal followers and let the advertising dollars flow straight to YOU. You even get the SECRETS of the best youtubers in the world as part of this launch special offer. Interviews with genuine youtube Millionaires sharing HOW they got started, TIPS for building your channel and insider knowledge that’s worth THOUSANDS. It’s part of Vidfuse.

In Addition, You Will Be Getting Tons of The Vendor’s Greatest Bonuses For Your Last Action:

Bonus No: 1

Modern Video Marketing

With this video course...

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Bonus No: 2

Modern Video Marketing Video Upgrade

Topics covered:

Effective Video Marketing In A Nutshell

Video Marketing: The Modern and Effective Way

Let Your Competitors Do Your Video Marketing Homework For You

Modern Video Marketing Essentials

Figuring Out The Different Types Of Video Marketing

Article-to-Video Marketing: Is It Right For You?

Video Scribe and Other Whiteboard Video Creation Tools: The Inside Scoop

Slideshow Creation Tools: Are They Right For You?

Personality-Focused Videos

Marketing Videos on Social Media

Bonus No: 3

Site Speed Secrets

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What .htaccess is and how you can use it to improve your web pages’ load time.

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Bonus No: 4

Site Speed Secrets Video Upgrade

Discover how you can finally speed up your website and increase your conversion rates. All the information you need is here, and nothing has been left out in this course!

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Learn to build faster websites from now on.

Not all web hosts are created equal – make sure you sign up for a fast web host that will help you reach your business goals.

Know how to use and analyze the results of the best website speed testing tools out there.

Never underestimate the power of caching ever again – it will help your site load much faster than ever before.

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Be an expert at reducing and optimizing file sizes before uploading anything to your website.

Use the top WordPress plugins which will help supercharge your slow site and turn it into a speedy machine.

Topics covered:

3 Major Reasons Yours Site Is Slow and How You Can Fix It

3 Methods To Improve Your Websites User Experience

4 Benefits Of Using Accelerated Mobile Pages AMP For Your Website

4 Free Tools You Can Use To Speed Up Your Website

5 Benefits Of Having A Fast Website

6 Secrets To Speed Up Your WordPress Website

How Optimizing Your Images Can Help With Your Site

How To Choose The Rights Web Hosting Company

Why You Should Care About How Fast Your Website Load

WordPress vs Static HTML Websites Which Is Faster

  Bonus No: 5

SuperCharged Productivity

Supercharged productivity is a guide that contains the world's best productivity hacks by the world's leading productivity experts.

Inside this guide, you'll discover mind-blowing productivity hacks you can use this instance to exponentially improve your productivity and crush all those stubborn projects that you've laid off for so long.

You'll discover incredible insight and profound knowledge that will enable you to operate with incredible energy beyond the average capability of a human being.

You will learn:

A list of powerful zero cost tools to practically increase your productivity by 20% in a snap of a finger!

Uncover the myth behind productivity and time management

Learn the difference between effectiveness and efficiency, critical for getting more things done in less time

The 1 thing that high performers focus on that enables them to accomplish critical task one after the other without suffering from burnout

An overall gameplan to achieve maximum productivity and overtake everyone else on your road to success

How to determine and eliminate unnecessary time -wasting activities so you'll regain full control over your time and maximize the results you want to achieve

The ULTIMATE secrets to supercharged productivity

Understand what is energy and how you can direct your energy in the right way so you'll achieve incredible productivity

The two most important powerful productivity hacks (Only one in a million people in this country knows this hacks)

Several things you need to ditch immediately to be happy and become hyper-productive towards finishing your grand projects or goals.

Tap into your body's hidden energy reserve and gain the extra stamina to perform at peak level for a longer period of time.

Dive into the mindset of top productivity experts and learn how to 'tune' your mind to constantly hack yourself to be more productive

And many more!

Bonus No: 6

Supercharged Productivity Video Upgrade

Supercharged productivity is a video course that contains the world's best productivity hacks by the world's leading productivity experts.

It's an video upgrade of Supercharged Productivity ebook.

Topics covered:

The Myth Of Time Management

Effectiveness vs. Efficiency

Results - Fast Lane to Success

Your Gameplan to Success

The Secrets to Supercharged Productivity

Why Energy Is Everything

Supercharged Productivity Hacks

How To Be A One Man Army

Follow One's Cause Until Successful

So What's Next

Bonus No: 7

Survey Funnel

With this 9-part video course discover how to generate micro-targeted leads that are ready to buy your products & services, starting today!

These methods are based on a working system.  There's no theory here!

Imagine if you could get micro-targeted leads ready to buy from you!

Topics covered:

Introduction and Getting Started 

Why Surveys Are So Powerful

Your End Goal

Your Product & Service

The Buyer That Fits

The Typical Day 

The Survey Form

The Mindmap

Implementation to Segmentation

Bonus No: 8

The Growth Mindset

The Growth Mindset is the mindset of world’s top achievers and successful people for achieving massive success.

You will learn the EXACT practices of world’s top achievers do to achieve greatness in their life. Change your mindset now to achieve great success and get ready to be mind-blown by your own transformation!

You will learn:

Proven Strategies Practiced By The World’s Top Achievers To Develop A Growth Mindset.

How To Reverse From Being Trapped In A Limiting Mindset (Get Out Of This Situation Asap Because This Will Slows You Down Or Worse... Prevents You From Attaining Success!)

7 Ways The Growth Mindset People Are Superior In Many Things.

The Most Effective Way To Change Your Behaviour And Anything In Life (Not The Easiest Way, But A 100% Sure Fire Way To Get Better At Anything In Life!)

10 Crucial Things You Will Learn From Failing… (Failing Is Not Bad After All).

Warning! 3 Types Of Mindset You Must Avoid At All Cost!

One Particular Trait That Enables Growth Mindset People To Improve Any Skills They Want (And How You Can Do The Same!).

Is Scarcity Even Real? Find Out The Shocking Truth About Scarcity In Chapter 1.

How Do People With Growth Mindset Think? Here’s How… (Chapter 3)

Performance Vs. Improvement. Which One Matters?

And much, much more!

Bonus No: 9

The Growth Mindset Video Upgrade

With this video course you will:

Be Positive, Creative, High-Energy, & Motivated

Deal With Failures, Setbacks And Challenges Differently From 90% Of The Population (No Stress Involved!)

Be At Your Very Best Self.

Have The Ability To Master Any Skills Or Areas Of Your Life

Become The Top Performer In Your Personal And Professional Life

Accomplish So Much More Than You Ever Thought Possible

Experience Exponential Growth In Your Character Values.

Have A More Fulfilling Life Knowing That You Are Progressing Every Day To Be Better.

Start Seeing Positive Results And Notice Incredible Changes When You Apply What You’re About To Learn In Growth Mindset As Fast As 30 Days.

Most Important, You Will Shortcut Your Way To Success!

Topics covered:

What is Mindset?

Why is Mindset Important?

Fixed vs Growth Mindset.

The Dangers of a Fixed Mindset.

The Power of a Growth Mindset.

Is it Possible to Change Your Mindset?

Strategies to Develop a Growth Mindset

Dealing with Setbacks

Bonus No: 10

Wholeness

Lifestyle provides input to the human body.  If there are any problems with these inputs, you are sure to feel the consequences. We do not completely realize how important lifestyle choices are.

It’s about time for you to enjoy all-natural holistic wellness!

With this step by step guide...

You are going to understand the importance of Lifestyle.

You will learn to identify lifestyle inputs

You will understand the spiritual component of wellness.

You can begin to understand the body-and-mind connection.

You are going to learn exactly how to live a more empowered life.

You will learn about:

 Rediscovering the Importance of Lifestyle

 Lifestyle is Always a Choice

 The 5 Key Benefits of a Holistic Focus on Wellness: The Power of Wholeness

 Overcoming 5 Common Myths that Lead to Disease and Dysfunction

 Begin with Your Most Powerful Bio-Organic Complex: Your Mind

 Understand the importance of relational wellness

 Explore physical wellness

 Traditional wellness is not up to the job

 Preventative Medical Wholeness

 Claiming Environmental Wholeness

Bonus No: 11

Wholeness Video Upgrade

With this 10-part video course...

You are going to understand the importance of Lifestyle.

You will learn to identify lifestyle inputs

You will understand the spiritual component of wellness.

You can begin to understand the body-and-mind connection.

You are going to learn exactly how to live a more empowered life.

Topics covered:

Rediscovering the Importance of Lifestyle

Lifestyle is Always a Choice

The 5 Key Benefits of a Holistic Focus on Wellness: The Power of Wholeness

Overcoming 5 Common Myths that Lead to Disease and Dysfunction

Begin with Your Most Powerful Bio-Organic Complex: Your Mind

Understand the importance of relational wellness

Explore physical wellness

Traditional wellness is not up to the job

Preventative Medical Wholeness

Claiming Environmental Wholeness

Bonus No: 12

Affiliate Marketing Kit

AFFILIATE MARKETING PROFIT KIT solves the following common yet fatal problems hounding both newbie and veteran affiliate marketers.

You will learn:

How to pick a niche that is most likely to earn you money

How to pick a conversion platform that will produce the most money with the least effort

How to create content your niche audience will actually want to read and share

How to select affiliate offers the smart and efficient way

How to build an affiliate marketing business that will stand the test of time and fickle consumer trends

The AFFILIATE MARKETING PROFIT KIT delivers:

Plain ENGLISH instructions: you don’t have to have to be an affiliate marketing veteran to understand and carry out its powerful and effective instructions

Actionable information: you get any THEORY with this PROFIT KIT. Instead, you get solid practical step by step instructions you can carry out RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!

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Powerful traffic generation strategies: most other ‘online income’ blueprints or affiliate marketing ‘guides’ completely leave out the most important part of affiliate marketing success:

TRAFFIC. You will get powerful information you can use to both GENERATE FREE TRAFFIC and handle PAID TRAFFIC the right way!

And much more!

Bonus No: 13

Affiliate Marketing Profit Kit Video Upgrade

Discover How To Make Money With Affiliate Marketing - Even If You Are a Complete Beginner!

With this video tutorials you can learn to get out of the gate well-positioned to succeed in the often DOG-EAT-DOG hypercompetitive world of affiliate marketing! You don’t have to settle for the crumbs LEFT OVER by the big players of your niche.

Topics covered:

4 Ways you are killing your passive income empire dreams

The money is in the list but not in the way you think

7 secrets of affiliate success most marketers will not tell you

7 Reasons why you should focus on niche selection

6 Ways your niche may be holding your affiliate income

5 Ways to find the best converting content

How to turbocharge your affiliate income in one step

What is the single most important factor to affiliate success

6 Ways to prevent your affiliate business from crashing and burning

The 5 Hallmarks of solid social media content

Bonus No: 14

Music Loops Pack 1

This music loops package contains 25 royalty-free music loops. You can use it in yours or your clients projects!

Bonus No: 15

Music Loops Pack 2

This music loops package contains 25 royalty-free music loops. You can use it in yours or your clients projects!

Bonus No: 16

Music Loops Pack 1

This music loops package contains 25 royalty-free music loops. You can use it in yours or your clients projects!

Bonus No: 17

Modern Affiliate Marketing

The key to affiliate marketing success is to focus on what works. The mechanics of affiliate marketing have not changed. What has changed, however, are the strategies that enable you to become a successful affiliate marketer.

With this step by step guide...

You are going to understand the importance of modern affiliate marketing strategies.

You will learn to identify niches based on ROI and other crucial factors.

You will understand modern conversion systems.

You can begin to understand different monetization methods.

You are going to learn exactly how to put a heavy focus on the commercial value of your niche.

Topics covered:

Picking Your Niches Based on ROI and Other Crucial Factors

Picking the Right Affiliate Program to Maximize Conversions

How to Create Niche-Focused Conversion Systems

Traffic Generation Strategies

Traffic Optimization Strategies

The Key to Affiliate Marketing Success in 2018 and Beyond

Bonus No: 18

Modern Affiliate Marketing Video Upgrade

Picking the Right Affiliate Program to Promote all Boils Down to ROI.

Make no mistake, if you want to succeed with your affiliate marketing business, you have to focus on ROI. If you have a fuzzy idea of what return on investment means, you're playing the game wrong.

With this video course you will learn the secrets of modern affiliate marketing!

Topics covered:

Picking Your Niches Based on ROI and Other Crucial Factors

Picking The Right Affiliate Program to Maximize Conversions

How To Create Niche-Focused Convertion Systems

Traffic Generation Strategies: Category 1 - Direct Traffic To Your Link

Traffic Generation Strategies: Category 2 - SEO (backlinks)

Traffic Generation Strategies: Category 3 - Social Media

Traffic Generation Strategies: Category 4 - Forums

Traffic Generation Strategies: Category 5 - Question and Answer Platforms

Traffic Generation Strategies: Category 6 - Third-party blog traffic

Traffic Optimization Strategies

Bonus No: 19

Video Playbook

Video is the fastest growing type of media online. Even companies that were founded on other types of broadcasting—such as Twitter and Instagram have begun to embrace video in order to improve visitor engagement and better connect with their target audience.

However, incorporating video content on your blog or website hasn’t always been an easy task.

For many, uploading videos to their own hosting account is time-consuming and expensive, and while embedding videos from third-party services simplifies things, you’ll often end up losing a lot of control over how the videos are displayed.

In this guide, you’re going to learn some of the best ways to use video on your websites profitably, and just how easy it is to get around some of the biggest issues you might face when using it.

Topics covered:

Why Use Video?

How to Make Money with Videos

Creating Your Own Videos

Video Storage Services

Using Other People’s Videos To Maximize Exposure

MonkeyPlayr

Powerful Video Ideas

Bonus No: 20

HIIT 2 FIT Video Upgrade

HIIT is also known as High Intensity Interval Training. It means exercising at an intense pace for a short period… and scientists have found that this workout method is MILES better than a moderate pace workout.

Studies show that the intensity of exercise is one of the greatest factor in rapid fat loss.

HIIT is:

Fun

Efficient

Minimalistic

Location-independent

A brain booster

A muscle-builder

Customizable

With this video course you will:

Save precious time by working out the most efficient way possible for fat loss and building muscle at the same time. That means more time for you to spend with family and friends,

Look good without giving up your soul. You don’t have to give up sports night or your favorite six-packs of beer to have an aesthetic physique.

Enjoyable exercises that will get you excited for your next workout

Bonus No: 21

Ecom Mastery

With the advent of systems like Shopify and WooCommerce that make it easier than ever to set up an online store without vast programming knowledge or deep pockets, and the prevalence of drop shipping companies that have affordable prices, e-commerce is booming like never before.

E-commerce is one of the only systems you can use to make money online that is truly long-lasting and sustainable, and, in a profitable niche, can keep making you money for many years to come.

With this report you will learn basics about how to start your own online store.

Topics covered:

Choosing a Profitable Niche

Finding Your Passion

Going Deep

Sourcing Products

Marketing Your Store

Bonus No: 22

Niche Market Discovery

If you don’t know the process for discovering hot niche markets, then you will continue to work hard and never achieve the success you are looking for. 

If you want to find the right niche market, that is proven to be profitable, you have to learn the process for niche market discovery.

Here is a comprehensive guide that will provide you with the process successful niche business owners follow to find the hot niche markets that will make them money.

You will learn why finding your niche is so important.

You will learn what you need to do to choose the right niche to make the most money.

You will learn how to locate your ideal customer.

You will learn how to build relationships within your chosen niche.

You will learn how to analyze your competition.

And much, much more...

Finding the hottest niche markets that are profitable can be done with time, a bit of hard work, and some diligent research.

Here are just some of the many benefits you’ll gain when you decide to follow the process of niche market discovery.

Learn how to start your business with affiliate marketing.

Learn how to get started with your niche research.

Learn the secret to finding hot keywords that have high profit potential.

Learn how to research and survey your target market.

Learn how to create your ideal customer profile.

Learn how to research and evaluate your competition.

Bonus No: 23

Surfire WP Boost

With this 9-part step by step video course you will discover how to speed up your WordPress sites so that your visitors can get a better user experience which will give you higher search engine rankings.

You will learn methods that have been working for decades.

Topics covered:

Advantages of Fast Site Speed

Reasons Why Your Site Is Slow

Too Much in Your Site

Is Your Web Hosting Slowing You Down?

Image Optimization

Parasite Protection

WordPress Caching

Content Delivery Networks

Bonus No: 24

Online Business Systematization

One of the biggest mistakes you can make as a business owner is to create a company that is wholly dependent on your daily involvement for its success. There are several problems with this approach. 

The first is redundancy. You are effectively paying your employees to carry out tasks that you will eventually complete.

The second, poor time management. You are spending your time on tasks as they arise, leaving you little room to work on the essential business tasks for growing your business. The solution lies in the effective systemization of your business.

Learn how systemizing and automating your online business can finally free up your time so you can focus your energy on growing your business!

Online Business Systemization is a is a step-by-step blueprint for how to systemize and automate your online business so you can free up your time and watch your business continue to run smoothly, even when you’re not in the office.

Here's what you'll discover in this course:

You will learn about the many benefits you can gain by systemizing your online business.

You will learn what it takes to start systemizing your business.

You will discover a whole host of tools that you can use for systemizing your online business.

You will learn how to create Standard Operating Procedures, so you can finally document your business systems.

You will learn how to outsource tasks like a pro.

You will learn how to systemize your business using simple automation tools.

You’ll learn how to scale your business to the next level.

Bonus No: 25

Online Business Systematization Video Upgrade

The good news is, you can start to systemize your online business today and immediately start to experience its powerful benefits.

  Systemizing your online business will take some effort up front, but once your policies and procedures are fully documented you’ll be able to begin to focus your time and energy on tasks that will allow you to scale and grow your business.

Here are just some of the many benefits you’ll gain by building a fully systemized business. 

You’ll reduce costs

Increase efficiencies

Improve employee performance

Improve business communications

Have the time to scale and grow your business

Be able to measure your progress

Meet all your deadlines

Free up more time

Be able to finally take time off

Discover the best tools to use to systemize your business

Discover the best software programs and apps to automate your business

And much more

Bonus No: 26

Shopify Blueprint

Revolution of business evolves from physical shop to internet. 

Perks of online shopping are: Deliver to your door step, cheaper than market price, shop anytime, anywhere 24/7, more variety.

Selling on internet cuts down 50% of the operation expenses such as office lot rental and utilities bills. Therefore, seller is able to offer a price lower than the market range for products. Getting a same product for lower price is what most of the people are seeking for and this is why people are addicted to online shopping.

The revolution has elevated online business to a wider and higher level.

Besides, having an online business ensures that you’re able to work from home, budget friendly, save operation cost (such as inventory, office, utilities bills etc), flexible working hours, most importantly, you will be able to generate more cash flow rather than having a fixed, conventional full time job.

Shopify Blueprint is a series of training course teaching you how to build your e-commerce empire with Shopify and generate up to 6 figures or more every month!

You will learn:

Shopify At A Glance

Getting Started With Shopify

Shopify Dashboard

How To Set Up Your Shopify E-Store

How To Identify Hot Selling Products

How To Create Buy Button / Shopping Cart

Launching Your E-Store

Other Money Making Ideas

How To Migrate Your Shop From Bigcommerce To Shopify

Bonus No: 27

Shopify Traffic

Simple and Easy Methods to Attract Your Prospects Effectively Without Spending Top Dollars for Advertisement!

How Would You Like to Draw Massive Traffic to Visit Your E-Store Every Day and Increase Conversion for 400%.

Shopify Traffic is a series of training course where it will teach you how to generate traffic to your Shopify e-store with effective methods and platform with my personal experience and culmination of my researches together with years of studies.

Bonus No: 28

Build Your Audience

The single most important asset that any business has when it comes to promoting itself online and making profit is its audience.

If a business doesn't have an audience, then that means no one will know about it when that company releases an amazing product.

It also means no one to read your posts and no one to click on your ads.

In other words, without an audience, your business exists in some kind of purgatory where it's pretty much waiting to die.

Here's what you'll discover in this guide:

What makes certain brands so successful when it comes to building massive audiences

How to create your own audience, starting from the beginning

How to inspire trust and authority and why this is crucial

How to create a brand that people can believe in

How to gain more exposure to widen your audience

How to target your audience and engage with the right customers

How to communicate with your audience and keep it growing

...and much, much more!

Bonus No: 29

Email List Management Secrets

List maintenance is one of the most important subjects in online marketing. Your list is your number one and most basic bottom level output for your promotions.

It’s expensive and time consuming to gather, but forms one of the most powerful resources and profit potential you have.

Depending on your business, there are several solutions that might be right for you. With this ebook you will learn the big five solutions to allow you to decide which one is going to make you the most cash.

Topics covered:

Understanding List Management

Personal List, Affiliate and Ad Content

List Building Methods

And much more!

Bonus No: 30

Buy & Sell Using Bitcoin

Bitcoin is an innovative payment network and a new kind of money.  With this 9-part video course find out all you need to know about buying and selling Bitcoins.

You will learn about:

How to set up a Rocketr

How to set up a Bitcoin in Rocketr

How to add a product

How to add a pay button

Affiliate marketing

Coupons

Email marketing

Blacklisting buyers

Bonus No: 31

Writing Tips Made Easy

If you run a blog or website you understand the need for writing regular content. While this may sound easy, it is not always easy to come up with ideas of what to write about.

Even then you need to know how to write a compelling blog post that will attract attention.

When it comes to writing online there are a few differences which you must be aware of. Writing this type of content is different than writing a novel or non-fiction book.

Inside this ebook you will find a compilation of 25 writing tips which have been designed to help you become a better writer.

Bonus No: 32

Copywriting Expert

Copywriting is one of the most important parts of internet marketing.

Once you get visitors to your site, you must depend largely on your sales copy to convert the visitors into customers.

Copywriting truly is an art, but have a checklist of important points is also helpful.

With this report learn all the known tactics about copywriting and how to become an effective content writer.

You will find out 'must known' copywriting secrets that guarantee success.

Bonus No: 33

Affiliate Advantage

There are a couple of incredibly powerful strategies that can change the way you promote products so that you are instantly maximizing not only your outreach, but your bottom line.  Doing this will catapult your efforts, and land you at the top of the affiliate leaderboards.  

This report will teach you exactly how to go from new (or even intermediate) affiliate marketer to super affiliate in just a matter of a few short days.  

It will show you how you can break through the prospect-to-customer barrier and generate unstoppable sales, 24-7–all without having to spend a lot of time, or money building sustainable affiliate campaigns

Topics covered:

Connect, Entice, Convert

Bribe Your Way To The Bank

Creating Killer Bonus Content

Instant Bonus Packages

Bonus No: 34

Dropshipping Speed Bumps

With drop shipping, most of the heavy-lifting has been done for you.  In fact, not only is it one of the easiest business formats to get involved in, but it’s also one of the lowest-cost startup solutions you’ll ever find.

With little upfront work involved, you can build your very own ecommerce store within minutes, fully loaded with high-quality products that your customers will love.

This special report will help you to ensure a smooth customer experience from start to finish, significantly reduce the number of returns, and make the process easier for both you and your buyers.

You will learn all about:

Avoiding Scams

Reducing Returns

Handling Returns

Refunds and Chargebacks

Bonus No: 35

Modern Social Media Marketing

A step-by-step guide to unleash the power of modern social media marketing in 10 steps!

Here is what you will learn:

What Social Media Marketing is and What it Isn't

8 Reasons Why You Need to Do Social Media Marketing

You Need to Modify Your Social Media Marketing Campaign Based on Your Online Business Type

The Classic Way to Do Social Media Marketing and Why it is a Waste of Your Time

10 Steps to Faster and Easier Modern Social Media Marketing

How to Do Niche Research and Targeting the Right Way

Content Curation: Your secret Social Media Marketing Weapon

Reverse Engineer Your Competitors' Top Content

Fine Tune Your Payload Content

Market Your List Right

Unlock the Power of Repurposed Content

Use Automatic Content Sharing

Scale Up Your Targeting

Sell to Your List Differently

Reinvest Your Profits the Right Way

You are going to understand that whatever the case may be, the endgame is to get people to join your list. You will know how to call to action to the people through social media so they join your list and much more!

Bonus No: 36

Modern Social Media Marketing Video Upgrade

A lot of marketers have all sorts of wrong ideas about social media marketing. Maybe you spend a lot of time, effort and money only to end up with a whole lot of nothing.

With this video course you can find the right way to do Effective Social Media Marketing.

Topics covered:

What Social Media Marketing Is And What It Isn't

8 Reasons Why You Need To Do Social Media Marketing

You Need To Modify Your Social Media Marketing Campaign Based On Your Online Business Type

The Classic Way To Do Social Media Marketing And Why It Is A Waste Of Your Time

10 Steps To Faster And Easier Modern Social Media Marketing

How To Do Niche Research And Targetting The Right Way

Content Curation:Your Secret Social Media Marketing Weapon

Reverse Engineer Your Competitors' Top Content

Fine Tune Your Payload Content

Market Your List Right

Unlock the Power of Repurposed Content

Use Automatic Content Sharing

Scale Up Your Targeting

Sell to Your List Differently

Reinvest Your Profits the Right Way

You will learn which platforms you should focus on in order to be successful and what is the secret to effective modern social media marketing.

Bonus No: 37

On-Page SEO Blueprint

With this 9-part, step-by-step video course you will discover how to get better search engine rankings by making your WordPress website more SEO friendly.

Whether you are trying to rank for a specific term in Google or other search engines, most businesses forget one crucial thing, which is on-page search engine optimization.

That technical term simply means that you help the search engines know what your site is all about.

The reality is that most businesses forget this crucial piece of the puzzle and simply don’t know why they’re not getting traffic from Google.

With this blueprint you will learn:

Introduction to On-Page SEO

The Main Focus

5 Important Factors

URL Structure

Body Text Structure

Image Optimization

Title Optimization

Meta Optimization

Top 2 WordPress Plugins

Bonus No: 38

Social Traffic Rush

Discover How You Can Get A Rush Of Targeted Traffic From Social Media In This 10-Part Course!

Many business owners find it hard to go at it alone on social media.

There are too many platforms to choose from. There are far too many ‘gurus’ giving out bad advice.

If you’ve never tried your hand at social media marketing, or if you have, but you failed miserably, then you need all the help you can get.

Here’s what you’ll discover in this course:

You’ll uncover the power of organic Facebook posts as well as Facebook Ads, and how you can use both to drive highly targeted traffic to your website.

You’ll find out just how easy it is to go viral on Twitter!

You’ll discover the benefits of video marketing on YouTube, and how you can use this powerful platform to gain new subscribers and drive traffic to your site!

You’ll see why celebrities and VIPs are going gaga over Instagram. Nope, you don’t need to be a celeb to succeed on this platform. Many businesses have found massive success here!

You’ll understand why writers and bloggers love Medium. This popular blogging platform will help you in more ways than you can ever imagine.

You’ll learn the power of marketing on Reddit. It’s not exactly known as being a business-friendly site, but in the course, you’ll learn exactly what you need to do to succeed on the platform!

You’ll uncover the benefits of answering questions on Quora and giving as much value as you possibly can.

You’ll find out why many marketers love Pinterest and how they use it to drive traffic to their website and landing pages!

You’ll see the benefits of marketing your content on both SlideShare and LinkedIn.

And so much more!

Bonus No: 39

Google Plus Money Making Tactics

This is the most complete and easy to follow blueprint for making money with Google Plus.

You will learn:

How to uncover a profitable market and keywords 

How to uncover a profitable market/niche you can monetize

How to find a product to promote

How to decide on the type of keyword you should target

And much more!

Bonus No: 40

Build Your Tribe

Discover How to Utilize Social Media to Build Your Tribe and Grow Your Business!

This simple step-by-step guide will show you how to build a loyal following on social media.

Building your social media profiles to attract more followers takes time, but it can be done. And you don't need a fancy degree or expert knowledge in social media marketing to accomplish this.

Anyone is capable of creating an optimized social media profile that will attract followers and build an audience.

The key to learning how to utilize the various social media platforms to build your tribe and grow your business is within your reach.

Here’s what you’ll discover in this guide:

How to utilize the features and tools on Facebook to broaden your reach and gain more exposure for your business.

What it takes to utilize YouTube and increase your followers.

How you can use Twitter to tweet your way to a broader audience.

How your business can capture more followers on Instagram.

How to keep your success going with simple, practical tips.

And much, much more...

Is it enough awesomeness for you? Because you will be also receiving my ULTIMATE huge bonuses. Those treasures are waiting for you at the end of this Vidfuse Review. And even though you do nothing but only read my Vidfuse Review, to thanks for your kind support, I still give you free bonuses. So keep reading then scroll your mouse down!

Click Here @ 10:00 AM EST on 2018-July-12th To Get An Early Bird Discount On "Vidfuse" Along With My Exclusive Bonus!

VIDFUSE REVIEW – PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

No matter where you are whether you’re… ringside or courtside, fishing or bugs side,… any topic, no matter where you are, if you’ve got this software app you can shoot, edit and publish right from your mobile device. Vidfuse is an mobile app built on IOS and Android, it comes with the sole purpose of making it easy for you to be able to edit your content and distribute your content from your mobile device.

You can be right there where the action is, adding an intro, adding an outro, keep everything in the library that the creators have for you, hit one button and publish it instantly to Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Vimeoto your own sites, to all of the video distribution platforms. Just shoot, edit and publish directly from your mobile device!

Vidfuse makes it easy. All of the videos and photos that you have on your phone right now… you can compile them together, you can make a video out of all the clips that you have. Add your soundtracks, add voice overlay, add text overlay, add intros and outros, lower thirds and do it all from your mobile device. When you’re getting everything ready, you can cut and edit that seamlessly on your mobile device. For example, you can take out that bit in the middle, you can add in your own images, put in your lower thirds easily using the mobile interface. That means no matter where you are in the world, got your phone with you now and you’ve got a full video editing studio right there in your hands.

You also get the secrets and the tips from the world’s best youtubers… telling you exactly:

How they built their channel

Tips for you to get started

How to build your subscribers

How to monetize your content and monetize your channels

These guys are making hundred thousand dollars a month and they’re making YouTube videos, there’s no reason why you can’t do the same. Everywhere you look in every niche, that’s absolutely possible.

You can be at your kids concert

You can be outside, working on your car

You can be skateboarding

You can be baking

You can be making slime

You can be tying your shoelaces

…And you can build a youtube subscriber list if you do it the right way. Vidfuse is what you need!

HOW VIDFUSE WORKS

All you have to do are only 3 simple steps:

Step 1: Download Vidfuse

If you have a smartphone and it records video it doesn’t matter how old, beaten up, and cracked the screen is. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t updated since 2010. As long as you can download the VidFuse App you’ve got step one covered.

Step 2: Choose Your Videos

Open the app on your phone, or if you’d prefer on the cloud-based web client, then take all the video you think is dull that no-one will ever be interested in and load it into the VidFuse editor.

Step 3: Create Some Magic

Drag and drop your videos into order, add some special VidFuse magic, and when you’re done share your new Vlog with your adoring fans, on your blogs, and on whichever social platforms you plan to dominate.

Checkout The Demo Video Below To See It In Action!

Click Here @ 10:00 AM EST on 2018-July-12th To Get An Early Bird Discount On "Vidfuse" Along With My Exclusive Bonus!

HOW ABOUT THE PRICE?

For a limited time, you can grab VidFuse with early bird discount price in these options below. Let’s pick the best suited options for you before this special offer gone!

Front-end: VidFuse ($37)

Upgrade: Special Ops Asset Pack ($97)

Let’s act now, don’t delay and grab it now while it’s still at the lowest price possible! And Just feel free to give it a try, because You have a full 30 days to put this to the test and make sure that this is for you. If you do not see any results within this period then please reach out to them. The Helpdesk Team is always there to help you out and make sure that you have been following the correct procedures.

VIDFUSE REVIEW CONCLUSION

In summary, I hope that all of the information in this VidFuse Review can help you gain more understanding about this product and then be able to make a wise choice. If you’re ready to start making a real online income in the most passive way possible then click the button below before the price rises. I am look forward to seeing your success.

However, in case you are in need of any advice, please feel free to keep in touch with me anytime. Regardless, thank you for reading my VidFuse Review. Goodbye, and see you again!

Click Here @ 10:00 AM EST on 2018-July-12th To Get An Early Bird Discount On "Vidfuse" Along With My Exclusive Bonus!

PLUS THESE ADDITIONAL UNIQUE BONUSES BELOW:

"2018 WordPress Ultra-Mega Plugin Bundle" As Bonuses For Your Fast Action:

The 2018 WordPress Ultra-Mega Plugin Bundle

A rare once-in-a-lifetime Super Mega Bundle on all the best WordPress Plugins to take your site to the next level and beyond.

For the 1st time, we are including all 4 our of Mega WordPress Plugin Bundles into one Super-Mega Bundle. This will be the only chance to get $4000 worth of Premium WordPress Plugins for a one off price that is 98% off of the regular pricing.

Volume 1: includes all the Social Media and Engagement plugins you will ever need for any type of WordPress based site

Volume 2: includes all the Marketing Plugins you would need

Volume 3: expands on all these by offering additional tools

Volume 4: Includes everything else that is necessary for fast loading sites.

Volume: 1 Includes: ($3785 Value)

Volume: 2 Includes:

Volume: 3 Includes:

Click the BUY NOW button BELOW to get informed today!

Click Here @ 10:00 AM EST on 2018-July-12th To Get An Early Bird Discount On "Vidfuse" Along With My Exclusive Bonus!

4 SIMPLE STEPS TO CLAIM YOUR BONUS PACKAGE

1. Clear Your Cookies in your Web Browser (Ctrl + Shift + Delete) 2. Purchase Products Through My Email/Website 3. Contact Me ⇒⇒ Here On FB with the receipt of your purchase 4. ALL The Listed Bonuses is Yours & You will receive them within 12-48 hours.

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