#is not necessarily a reflection on what a real life person would experience

[deception-united]

Let's talk about character voices.

Giving a character a unique voice in your writing involves several elements, such as word choice, sentence structure, dialogue quirks, and mannerisms. Incorporating these elements into your writing can really help create characters with distinct voices that resonate with readers and bring your narrative to life, as well as avoiding making all your characters sound the same, which is important especially when switching POVs.

Here are some tips you may find helpful:

Distinct vocabulary: Choose words that reflect the character's background, personality, profession, interests, experiences, and education level. For example, a well-educated professor would probably use more sophisticated language.

Dialogue quirks: Give each character specific speech patterns or quirks that set them apart, like repeated phrases, stuttering, using or avoiding contractions, or speaking in a particular dialect or accent, but don't overdo it to the point where it's distracting or it's hard to decipher what's being said.

Sentence structure: Pay attention to the rhythm and structure of their sentences. Some characters might speak in short, abrupt sentences, while others might use long, flowing ones. This can convey their confidence, hesitation, or urgency in the particular scenario, but also their general demeanor or manner.

Internal monologue: Show the character's unique thought process through their internal monologue. This can help readers understand their motivations, fears, and desires, further distinguishing them from other characters. (This may not necessarily apply to your story if you're writing in a third person omniscient perspective, or if you intend to exclusively follow the internal monologue of the main character.)

Physical gestures/actions: State what the the character's physical gestures and actions are while speaking. A nervous character might fidget, slouch, or avoid eye contact, while a confident character would stand tall and make direct eye contact.

Background & history: The character's upbringing, cultural influences, and past experiences can all shape the way they speak and interact with others.

Consistency: It's important to maintain consistency in the character's voice throughout the story and make sure their speech patterns, vocabulary, and mannerisms remain true to their established personality and don't contradict with anything.

Real conversations: Pay attention to how people speak in real life, and the tone, vocabulary, and speech patterns of different people, to help create more authentic and believable dialogue.

Read aloud: Reading your dialogue aloud can help you identify areas where the character's voice may not sound authentic. If it doesn't sound like something they would say, revise.

Hope this helps!

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[headspace-hotel]

facts about The Fear, after 20 years of life with her

The Fear is NOT:

an intruder, invader, or some other entity from "outside" You

inappropriate, wrong, or incorrect

a responsibility

a punishment

"irrational" or otherwise able to be understood through a relationship to "rationality"

an "inaccurate" representation of reality

The Fear IS:

an innate part of you

extra-rational—she exists outside and completely independent from "rationality" and does not respond to being judged according to that lens

self-love—her purpose is to protect you and keep you safe

self-sufficient—fear is a 100% whole, complete entity that doesn't "represent" or "reflect" something else

earnest—fear is always a 100% real experience that is exactly as it is felt, and, needing no comparison or reference to any external reality, it is not "dishonest" or "inaccurate"— it asserts a claim about only itself

subversive [not quite the word I am looking for but it will have to do]— is not necessarily beholden to social and cultural norms of what should be feared, how much, and how you should respond. She does not stop existing in the absence or suppression of vocabulary to describe her.

a demand for care— she does not just communicate to you but to the community you are part of; she calls attention to an obligation that this community has toward you, to make sure that you are safe within it and that your experiences are heard and understood.

yeah, so, i've had severe anxiety for my whole life and the way it's been treated and dealt with, and the way I've been taught to understand it, has really fucked me up so I am trying to lay the groundwork for understanding it differently

I think it's pretty fucked up that we're taught to see anxiety as deceptive or inaccurate. Now, obviously the images or projections in my fearful thoughts do not usually "reflect reality," but I have come to see this as...not particularly important?

Teaching an anxiety sufferer to restructure their thoughts to dismiss and contradict "irrational" fear is, in my opinion, the same as teaching a chronic pain sufferer to restructure their thoughts to dismiss and contradict pain with no clear physical source. You might as well speak of "irrational" pain, and pain has the same relationship to rationality that fear has.

"Irrationality" is a quality assigned to fear that is judged by an outside observer, or by the collective cultural biases and hang-ups of a society, as not appropriate to a given situation. This is total fucking nonsense and we should be talking about that, because...well, the first reason is that it implies some kind of fixed standard for what fear ultimately is and isn't for. i like to tell people to watch one of those Coyote Peterson videos where he's going to get a tarantula hawk wasp to sting him, because he's obviously having a strong physical fear response, even though he knows it won't kill him. Is it "rational" to fear suffering and not just death? How much suffering? Sit with that one a little while.

The second reason, which is even more convincing, is that the "rational" brain is not consulted at any point, ever, when a person feels afraid. It's just a response. The fear response is not routed through the conscious, sapient, reasoning brain. And thank God, because if we needed to hear back from an upstairs executive before we could decide whether to run from a lion, our species would be extinct.

Techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy were absolute fucking shit at making my life any better, but fantastic at wrecking my ability to identify my own emotions, because Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anxiety basically amounts to trying to brainwash yourself into thinking you don't feel the emotions that you do. It's a really neat way to develop bizarre psychosomatic symptoms and start experiencing anxiety through constant body pain, swollen lymph nodes, and digestive issues.

For an institution that pathologizes having "alters," psychiatry sure loves to encourage a suffering person to view normal and ultimately good parts of themselves as distinct, intruding entities to be shoved in a closet somewhere.

And yes. Fear is ultimately a good part of you, a part of you that loves you.

What began to set me free was feeling that acid terror and sickness and rage course through my body and realizing—really realizing—that I was being illuminated with this ancient, powerful force driving me to LIVE.

I want us to make it. I want you to live.

And you know what, I want me to live too.

I abandoned the doctrine of calming down—Lord knows it had never worked anyway—and started really just exploring and existing in the Fear.

How did that feel? Bad. Very very very very very bad and really not productive or helpful at all initially. Which was unavoidable. Necessary. She had been frantically clawing to communicate with me for so long, and I had been shutting her away, silencing her, resenting her presence in my psyche. I started trying to show gratitude toward the signals my body gave me. I started trying to show gratitude toward her—and i guess the Fear was a Her now, this just seemed more respectful.

And it seemed like nothing happened, but several things happened.

I stopped searching for validation. That was a big one. At some point I just...stopped needing a "reason" or justification for the fear I felt (trauma???? neurodivergence???? neurodivergence trauma????) and the fact that I experienced it became completely sufficient and satisfying to me. So much guilt and confusion disappeared.

I also became steadily more confident about my own boundaries, particularly in regards to recovery.

It's awful now that I think about it, but I think I felt this sense of almost moral obligation towards "recovery," as if I needed to "overcome fear" to be Courageous and Virtuous. It made me feel crushing guilt to feel any hesitation about this.

But then this started to change. It became more real to me that was the only person affected by the steps I did or didn't take toward recovery, and there was no moral dimension to it. A therapist couldn't put me in a box I wouldn't willingly go into.

Freedom from these judgmental frameworks is really important to me. I think that I always hated the idea of getting "better" because it seemed like "better" would mean just getting better at submitting to things I was afraid of while everything felt just as bad as it always did on the inside.

And on some level—even though I could never put it into words at the time—I violently hated the idea of "recovery" from some of my fears because it seemed like the ultimate denial of agency. I didn't want to "become okay with it"—the possibility felt dehumanizing. It felt awful.

And I realize now that this is because The Fear represented something I needed to have a right to. Many of my most life-destroying fears centered around things being done to my body, and if I could have pressed a button and been no longer afraid, I wouldn't have, even though it would have spared me so much suffering, because...I needed it to be okay to want agency over my body. I needed it to be right. The Fear, in this case, was a demand that my body be treated as sacred.

I realized that there were many cases where The Fear was a territorial claim of sorts, a demand that certain needs be honored and met—She needs this. This is FUCKING non-negotiable.

And it really...prompted me to look backward on my life and see The Fear differently: not as a responsibility I had failed to shoulder (me?? a little child??? responsible?? Responsible for being brave, when every day felt like facing a firing squad?????) but as a collective responsibility

Because I was not alone in those memories—I was surrounded by adults that saw me suffering, and often dismissed, ignored or ridiculed it. The Fear grew larger and larger; why?—to protect me. Because teachers, nurses, doctors, and camp counselors did not do any of the thousand thousand things they could have done to make that little girl feel safe. Because my well-meaning parents praised me when I was "brave" but I, a little kid, literally couldn't communicate how awful it always felt.

The Fear was not there to torture me. The Fear was and is doing her best to keep me safe. It's not wrong, there's no need for guilt. It just is.

It doesn't feel good. But maybe one day it will feel better.

[drdemonprince]

Hi Dr. Price,

I’m a huge fan of your work and I’ve found it immensely helpful in figuring out who I am.

In recent years I’ve discovered I am both AuDHD and Bi. My partner is also Bi and very supportive. However we have been together for over a decade and I’m struggling a lot lately with the fact that I’ve never actually been with anyone else. I’ve been spending a lot of time in queer spaces online and finding myself wishing I could at least experience some of what they do.

I love her more than anything and would never do anything to hurt her. She’s not interested in opening things up in any way, which I completely respect and to be fair I’m not even sure that’s truly something I would want either.

I guess I’m just asking if you have any advice on these overwhelming feelings of missing out on aspects of life I never knew I even missed? Other than using porn to get it out of my mind as I’m worried that’s affecting our relationship sexually, which is another issue. Should I find a dating sim game or something to push all of these thoughts on to? It’s kind of messed up but I feel like if I was allowed to flirt online and not actually act on it that might satisfy me? I don’t know.

If nothing else thank you so much for your work and giving me a space to get this off my chest. ❤️

Because I am of the mind that most longings for queer expression/recognition/community cannot and should not be met with media consumption, I'm not going to tell you that there is any kind of game that can simulate queer erotic contact in a way that will be remotely satisfying for you.

You and your partner's desires for your relationship and its boundaries are important and matter, but alongside that, I would also encourage you to listen to that urge that tells you that you'd love to flirt online with a sexy queer stranger as a way to let a little of the steam off.

The wants you are feeling are real, and when disregarded or left unattended they can spiral out in all kinds of unpleasant ways, from just regular garden variety frustration, to resentment, to conducting years long emotional affairs with agoraphobic instagram thot boys you met online (not that I know anything about that).

You want to be recognized by another queer person as a sexually desirable, available person, you want to feel the rush of a developing romance, you want the future to be filled with possibility and excitement, you want to know that your life is not over and that there's still more to learn about yourself and more experiences to enjoy -- these are all good things. These are important things, and I promise you that it is very unlikely that you won't get to experience more desire, attraction, sexual contact, romance, and heartbreak in the years to come.

Most relationships end. Those that last more than a couple of years undergo dramatic shifts over the course of their tenure. And so, it is very likely that you and your partner will either eventually split, or your various desires and capacities will become incompatible in certain ways, and you will contemplate some kind of change to the relationship dynamic (or someone will fail to communicate this and cheat. hopefully not that one. But if it does happen, well. It's very common and not the end of the world or even necessarily the end of the bond).

How does it feel to confront this information? That in all likelihood, this relationship will either end, open up in some way, change dramatically in its dynamic, or be marked by one or both parties stepping out in some way, however small, be it an online flirtation or a kiss at a party or a sexual affair? I think your feelings in response to that information is important too. And that regardless of what you and your partner decide for the time being, it is an important series of potentialities to reflect on and emotionally prepare oneself for. Also worth asking: are these potential futures ones that you can speak to your partner about? One of them will likely be headed for you in time, not through any fault of your own or due to lack of love, but simply because people change and relationships develop, just like a person develops. Whether or not these are subjects that can be broached is itself valuable information, too.

Now personally, I am very biased, but I think there is very little harm in having some virtual sex with a consenting stranger, roleplaying sexy interactions online, even getting on a dating or cruising app and posting a few anonymized photos and seeing what kind of attention you get and enjoying the rush. I think that kind of thing is all within the realm of the harmless and forgivable, but hey, my sister just ended an engagement over her fiance doing that kind of thing, so not everyone agrees with me clearly.

But I think it is worth at least contemplating the full, long continuum of infidelity that exists, from having a whole secret other marriage and family and keeping a partner in the dark about it on one end, say, and making bedroom eyes with a cute person at the bar and fantasizing about what if what if what if, on the other. If your partner did anything along that whole continuum, you might be hurt, and likewise they might be if you do.

You say you love your partner more than anything and would never do anything to hurt her. But you can't really promise yourself that. Every partner hurts one another in some way or another, sometimes even intentionally, over the course of a long relationship. But hurting one another in a relationship is, also, not the end of the world. We all make mistakes, say things we regret, lose control of our faculties at times, or are simply forced to reconcile that what we need conflicts with what another person does. And sometimes we put our needs first, even though it's uncomfortable.

I don't regret the times I cheated. I regret the lack of communication and cowardice that brought me to that half-formed, unarticulated decision. But I don't regret ever having chosen to listen to needs that had been powerfully screaming inside of me, typically for years before I attended to them.

I think you and your partner should continue having very frank conversations about these topics, and do your best to regulate your own anxieties and feelings of relationship threat when the other party brings up an activity or an idea that makes the other feel scared. The choice isn't to remain monogamous or to become fully polyamorous with no hierarchy. There are a lot of activities you can both decide are either okay or not okay, and conditions under which you will engage in them.

Even what counts as "monogamy" is subject to fierce debate, that's part of why so many jealous straight people destroy one another so easily. Is texting someone you think is cute in a flirtatious but ultimately just friendly way cheating? Is dancing with someone else cheating? What kind of dancing is okay and is not? Is cuddling on the couch? Working on erotica together? Kissing? Is watching porn with someone else cheating? Is masturbating to a video they sent you?

You might have a very visceral response to these questions, but those are just like, your opinions. They are not set in stone and you can easily find another monogamous person who is just as adamant about completely opposing rules and definitions of what monogamy means to them. And so, it's worth talking with your partner and really being honest with yourself about what it is you want to do, what is decidedly off the table, and what the hell it even is that you two are talking about when you discuss your relationship and its limits.

If it were me, and if I could wave a wand and make you and your partner feel okay about and agree to a set of relationship limits, I think you should consider flirting with actual queer people online. But I can't control other people's behavior or emotions, as much as I have tried. But you can at least contemplate (and then discuss) alternate ways of getting the kind of attention that you desire.

There are lots of things you can do to scratch your itch that are not having sex or dating someone else: LARPing (there is larping that has a sexual or romantic component!). Tabletop games. Acting or improv that incorporates romantic or sexual elements. Going to a sex party and just WATCHING people do stuff. Going to a gay bar and just hanging out and socializing. Going to a cruising bar and watching people fuck. Going to a dungeon for a class or a demo. Going on gay speed dating but secretly agreeing that you're not actually going to take anybody home, you're just gonna see how it feels. Wearing a slutty outfit to pride and waving and winking at people. Exchanging heartfelt letters with a queer friend who you have chemistry with but who respects your relationship.

These are just some ideas, but the possibilities are limitless. One day, you and your partner might agree that you are open to having sex with other people, or flirting, but not to them having other lasting relationships. maybe you'll have threesomes together or one partner will watch the other fuck casual hook-ups. Or maybe you'll just break up. Who knows what the future holds! No matter what it is, you can figure it out with both love and commitment to your partner, but also the courage to name what you are feeling and to honor your desires. None of those things have to be incompatible, and monogamy doesn't have to be incompatible with getting a little thrill here and there either.

Good luck!

[syndrossi]

resonant ch26 dvd commentary

That's right, it's a series now!

Favorite line:

“They will return soon enough,” he told the tiny dragons, feeling a kindred dismay that his sons had gone riding with someone other than him. “Until then, you must content yourselves with me.”

It's not my favorite chapter, and doesn't have any real bangers, but this was a fun little exchange. The mental image of Qelebrys and Shadow perched on Daemon's shoulders, all three of them wearing a glum/pouting expression, is very cute.

Favorite detail:

Carrying the theme that Daemon noticed when he took Rhaegar and Jon on Caraxes to and from the Giant's Toe, where Rhaegar is drawn to the beauty of the world when he's up high on a dragon, while Jon is looking at those ships below and pondering their significance. It's just as much reflective of their life experience as personality. Jon without the burdens he carries of having been a leader, responsible for administering multiple wars, might be able to afford to look upward or forward, rather than downward at the world encroaching in.

Favorite dynamic:

We had a few barbs traded with Cole, but it was fairly tame. Rhaenys and Daemon are my favorite dynamic again, in part because I enjoy writing people giving advice that makes sense to them but isn't necessarily the most healthy. No one character is an infinite font of wisdom, existing to dispense it to our heroes. Everyone has their own faults, flaws, self-interest, etc, and their advice is colored by it.

I'm talking, of course, about Rhaenys basically telling Daemon to suck it up, give up on having a good relationship with his brother founded on mutual understanding, and resign himself to the fact that his brother prefers a version of Daemon that isn't real, with all the edges filed off. Daemon does in fact know his brother better than Rhaenys, so it's actually not the best advice in this situation!

But it doesn't mean he didn't need to hear some version of "suck it up and figure out an approach," because he's been reactive/passive so far with Viserys. (Some of that is out of fear, to be fair.) But he can't afford to be afraid/not take risks, Rhaenys believes. Not with so much at stake.

(Rhaenys is not without her own self-interest, either.)

And Rhaenys has a better grasp on Otto than Daemon. She's not wrong about what he fears. So that was also good context for Daemon, if he pays it heed. But the conversation doesn't leave Daemon in a great place at the end, sadly.

"Quick" hitters:

I mentioned this before, but there were three separate scenes written for and removed from this chapter, including one that was up in the draft I saved on AO3 and then removed this morning before I posted it.

I think I figured out my real issue with this chapter, and it comes down to using the wrong lens during the Dragonpit parts. We're focused in tightly on Daemon and Rhaenys's conversation, which is fine/fair, but we pull back too much for the kids and hatchlings interactions. It would have been nice to perhaps get the actual introduction of the dragons as dialogue rather than exposition, and focus in a bit more on Jon during the final naming.

The chapter feels very self-indulgent and filler-y, which may be while I feel guilty about writing it. Not that you can't write those things, but I always feel like they fit better in side-stories.

Jon naming Shadow was added into this chapter after the fact. I'd decided on the name a while ago and kept trying to find the perfect moment for it, only for it to not really materialize. Jon making it a game the baby cousins could join in on ended up feeling right.

I kept going back and forth between the Valyrian and Common versions of "Shadow," but at the end of the day, Jon has a theme.

I really liked Harrenkos for a name ("suitably long" in Valyrian), given that Shadow is a longer boi than most.

With Laenor and Rhaenys about to be gone, and Rhaenyra in Dragonstone, the poor Velaryon boys are about to be on their own (with their nurses) for a while, poor lambs. We'll see if Daemon invites them over for supper a few times. That's a lot of kids to wrangle by himself!

I'd been holding onto this, but I don't think it's something I'll end up doing later on in the story, so I'll go ahead and share one of the deleted, incomplete scenes. Originally, there was going to be an attack on the carriage on the way back, but Daemon being up in the air on Caraxes made it a really poor choice on the part of their attackers (and the attack itself a little too obvious not to have the place swarmed with Goldcloaks), so I scrapped it.

Apologies to Rhaegar, who was going to get a hero moment and possibly his first kill (though I didn't get that far).

x~x~x

The hatchlings were exhausted after their exciting day, each settling on their laps to nap for the carriage ride back to the Red Keep. Jace soon followed their example, nodding off against Princess Rhaenys’s side twice before she rearranged him so that he could rest his head on her lap.

Jon had enjoyed their day out, but he did feel a sting of regret at not being able to accomplish either of the things he had wanted to today: gaining an audience with King Viserys, and speaking to their father about the candle. There was always tonight for the latter—or tomorrow. But he hated the thought of it continuing its efforts to torment Rhaegar, especially since they were now separated in the afternoon.

“Did you hear anything today?” he whispered to Rhaegar.

“Not in the yard,” his brother said, which was not a no.

The bumpiness of the ride down the sloped path leading from the Dragonpit gave way to the cobblestone of the Street of the Sisters. The sun had set, and the sky was halfway to twilight, leaving the interior of the carriage dark. Jon tuned his senses to hearing to distract from the unpleasant odor of Flea Bottom, which the street passed through briefly.

It was quieter than he remembered. Even the slums of King’s Landing had their equivalent of markets, and plenty of peddlers hawking their wares. He sat up straighter in his seat as the carriage slowed, and the strong scent of burning wood wafted through the window. He could hear the low murmur of their two Kingsguard ahead of the horses.

Jon glanced at Rhaegar, who met his gaze with a tense frown as their hatchlings stirred on their laps. Princess Rhaenys meanwhile was gently shaking Jace awake, turning to glance behind at the window. A glow was visible now, lighting up the area, and calls began to ring out from further away. Jon stood on his seat to get a better view; up ahead, he could see buildings aflame on either side of the street, and what looked to have once been a wagon burning in their path.

“Can we go around?” Jon heard Ser Erryk—or Arryk—say in a low tone to the carriage driver.

“Only if you fancy going deeper into Flea Bottom,” the man said.

“Turn back,” the Kingsguard ordered. “We will return to the Dragonpit.”

Smoke was beginning to drift through the window, stinging his eyes, and the shouts were growing louder. Jon reached carefully for his knife, which was strapped against his leg beneath his pants, though he did not yet slide it free. It was possible that whatever fire had broken out along their path was entirely accidental, but if so, it was extraordinarily convenient timing.

The clack of horseshoes on cobblestone was just audible over the din as one of the Kingsguard pulled alongside them. “My princess, remain within. We will turn and head back to the Dragonpit until the fires are put out.”

The tension in the knight’s voice told Jon that he too believed it to be no coincidence. The street was still narrow at this point, which meant two very long minutes of horse and carriage maneuvering to turn back north.

Too long.

The horrible scream of a wounded horse pierced through the din, and through the haze of the smoke still spilling in through the window, Jon could make out the shaft of an arrow embedded in its flank. Two clanking noises followed, the noise familiar to Jon—the clatter arrows deflected by a shield.

“Ser Erryk,” Princess Rhaenys called out tensely, holding Jace tightly to her side. Their young cousin was wide awake now, eyes large with fear.

There came another two loud thuds, this time above them, and Jon could see the point of an arrow splitting through the wood of the roof, and another a foot away from it.

“They are trying to set the carriage aflame, princess,” the knight said. By the sounds of it, he had drawn up along the side of the carriage opposite from where the first two arrows had come. “You and the children may need to leave it, if the fire catches.”

Jon could hear the agony of indecision in his voice. The carriage afforded protection from arrows, but the longer they remained within, the longer whoever was attacking it could get into position for—whatever it was they were after.

Us? Jon wondered. So far, none of the arrows had been aimed at the body of the carriage, but even so, he dragged Rhaegar several inches further from the wall. The other Cargyll brother joined his twin on the safe side of the carriage.

“There are at least four with bows,” he said. “They do not yet approach.”

The horse’s screams were quieting, which Jon knew meant another obstruction on the road. The smoke was growing thicker, enough to make Jace cough, and a glance upward revealed a darkening of the wood of the roof.

“Jon.” Rhaegar’s voice was low but urgent, his face set with tension. He extended a hand toward Jon. “Give me the knife.”

His first instinct was to deny the request, the notion of being unarmed in the chaos nearly unthinkable, but his arm was still injured. Rhaegar might lack Jon’s experience in a real melee, but he stood a better chance of defending them.

[end scene]

[weirdstrangeandawful]

What is whump?

I get asked this question a lot so I figured I'd just make a post about it! I doubt a lot of people will see this since I'm a small whump blog but at least a few people will have a quick reference.

The short answer is that whump is a fictional genre of media. Like any genre, it's difficult for one person to entirely characterise but I'll do my best.

Whump is a fictional genre focused on the experience of pain. This can be physical pain or emotional pain. The pain could be acute or chronic. The focus could be on the recovery from the pain or on the pain itself. It's a super versatile genre!

Some frequently asked questions:

Okay, but how is this different from hurt/comfort?

This is a complicated question (hard to entirely characterise an entire genre, eh?) and it really depends on the writer. For me, hurt/comfort is a subset of whump where the comfort is required whilst whump is the larger, overarching genre where comfort is not an absolute necessity, but many others have different opinions!

What is a whumpee?

You'll often hear writers (especially prompt writers) in the whump community refer to characters as 'whumpee', 'whumper', and 'caretaker'. These are placeholder names like your good old A, B, and C. 'Whumpee' refers to the character experiencing the pain (literally 'the one being whumped'); 'whumper' is the (optional) character causing or contributing to the pain; and 'caretaker' is the (also optional) character helping care for the whumpee and alleviating the pain.

Why would I support someone who thinks people should experience pain?

Pain and adversity are facts of life. In fact, many of us as whump writers and readers engage with the genre to cope with pain and adversity in our real lives. It's important to remember that whump is a fictional genre and someone's interest in the fictional themes portrayed really aren't a reflection of what goes on in their real life. The name 'whump' may be contemporary but this is definitely not a contemporary genre (Shakespearean tragedies anyone?) so there is no use criticising its existence. If you don't like it, that's okay! Scroll on by and block the #whump tag if you need to. Like many artists, we're an accepting community and won't judge. In fact, we probably understand better than most that there is too much pain in the world and not everyone wants to read about more of it.

What's the difference between whump and BSDM/kink?

This is a complicated and very individualised answer. The oversimplified answer is that BDSM and kink are explicitly sexual/sensual whilst whump is not necessarily related to sex. But that is extremely oversimplified and doesn't cover all or even most people's experiences with either whump or BDSM/kink. The most generalised answer I can give is that whump is an overarching genre whilst BDSM and kink are individualised cultural practices and activites. But even that needs nuance and context to understand and apply. For me personally, I don't like combining the two because I experience them in very different ways, but that's just my experience!

Edit: I realise that I was not clear in the above answer. BDSM and kink are absolutely not inherently sexual at all. In my personal experience, I've found there to be a lot more overlap between BDSM/kink and sexual experiences than with whump but this is not true for many and maybe most people. No one person is qualified to answer this question.

[itgomyway]

(you)r sp and you ♡

i have already made a post about how you should love yourself and your sp will love you almost as much (bc they actually are you!) but lets go into more detail

a lot of you guys, including me, wanted to get into a relationship. and with that, youve discovered the law of assumption. the basics start off with whatever you assume will be. but after months of arguing, harassment, and bullying on twitter, you’re probably confused and too scared to ask.

FUCK THAT. let me be the one to tell you that none of it matters. you very much can and WILL manifest your sp. others false opinions (false because theyre not real) mean nothing. this isnt a loass post though im talking about non dualism (which is not the same).

“but wait… i want my sp and non dualism isnt about getting so why would i-“ because your sp shouldnt be someone that brings you happiness. they should be someone who adds to your quality of life. why does that sound like loass vs non dualism? because it is.

people use the law of assumption to manifest desires for their physical world. theres nothing wrong with that! that is how i manifested my current relationship. however, when we speak about non dualism, it goes beyond trying to get anything. youre just being. and “getting” into a relationship can very much help or make your false sense of self feel better. you as consciousness know relationships themselves dont exist because it is you but your ego, the false sense of self doesnt know that. it wants to experience love as part of the human condition. but youre still not getting anything. lemme explain.

you were trying to “get” something that was never outside of you TO make you happy. that doesnt make sense when not only are they you, but they are apart of you. everything your awareness is on “reflects” how you feel about yourself because all there is is you.

lets go back to non dualism’s basics. everything is consciousness = you creation is brought on by your awareness = you. “but back when x happened-“ the past and the future do not exist. the only thing that exist is now. you cant “apply” this way of thinking to something that doesnt exist. that makes no sense. youre just going to confuse yourself. i am telling you RIGHT NOW the only truly real thing is YOU. that is all there is and will ever be. you can control your awareness through observations meaning youre in total control. read that again.

so when it comes to your sp, romantic or not, they are never not yours. they were never not you or not a part of you. every thought, feeling, affirmation, or word you wrote down, they have received. because its you. think about it. are you ever aware of anything youre unaware of? (no). because things only exist the moment youre aware of them!

and remember, if something can come to our awareness like a relationship and leave our awareness it is not real. but you, as consciousness are infinite and are always here and always consciousness. so you are real!

after discovering non dualism i have thought about the feelings my boyfriend has presented to me and how they currently match the feelings i have for myself. i have always loved myself and will always love myself. if i didnt, how could i expect my creation, which is a projection of my own self image, to have different feelings than me? your sp isnt a separate person. Your relationships will always show how you feel about yourself, romantic or platonic. they’re not real because they come and go through your awareness but your ego as the false self believes they are. and thats okay. thats its job. let it be and observe them as consciousness.

nothing can happen outside of your awareness because the moment you are aware/conscious of something, it exist instantly. so if your sp is treating you the way you dont want to be treated then reflect on your own feelings about yourself. this DOES NOT necessarily mean work on your self concept. ask yourself if “you” think youre worthy of what it is your ego desires. a lot of my blockage came from that. i had to fall in love with myself so my ego could comprehend how i could be loved. because its still me.

lets talk about “free will”.

“free will” doesn’t exist. lemme tell you why. the idea of free will is a person outside of you having a say in their own life. the basic principle of non dualism means theres only one being, consciousness (you). so tell me how can “another person” “outside” of you have a say in their “own lives” when none of that exist in the first place?

your sp having or not having free will shouldn’t effect how you feel about them unless you see them as a separate entity outside of you. they’re not an “object” you control theyre your creation and another form of consciousness so of course you have control over your creations you have control over EVERYTHING.

your sp feels the same way you feel about yourself. always. if you dont feel good about yourself then i do suggest working on your self concept. not to “get” anything but for YOURSELF! why not love yourself? why cart that responsibility off to your creation?

at the end of the day, itll just be you surrounded by your creations. you can pick and choose what they are specifically BUT THE ONLY REAL THING IS YOU

© itgomyway

[nerdygaymormon]

A lot of rhetoric in support of anti-trans legislation to restrict gender-affirming care talks about regret and detransitioning.

Some proportion of people experience regret for any medical procedure, from chemotherapy to orthopedic surgery. Nonetheless, we don’t see a plethora of opinion pieces about the awful risks of hip replacements. It’s inevitable that some percentage of people who transition will regret it; the real question is whether the medical care is beneficial on the whole—not whether the occasional person later regrets a medical choice they made when younger.

In 2021, it was found that 13.1% of transgender people participating in the U.S. Transgender Survey reported detransitioning at some point in their lives.

The authors of this study are careful to note “these experiences did not necessarily reflect regret regarding past gender affirmation.” Family and societal pressure are the driving forces that lead many people to detransition – not because people wake up and decide they're not actually trans. All those who took part in the survey still identified as trans, thus it's presumed that the detransitioning was temporary.

Transitioning and detransitioning is complex. You can stop taking hormones and still be trans. You can regret taking steps that alienate you from your family, even as you wish your family would accept you living how you want to live. You can even regret some aspects of a treatment (any kind of medical treatment) while being grateful for the knowledge you gained by trying it out.

Detransitioning doesn't equal regret. Regret doesn’t always mean that people wish they hadn’t transitioned, it just means that there are some parts of the story that they long to change.

What’s clear from this evidence is that the vast majority of people do not experience regret, however defined, after transitioning genders. The rate of regret is still better than other treatments which don’t require national debates over their use, which really begs the question of why the health decisions of this group gets so much attention, and why so many people weigh in even though they have no medical or psychological training and aren't directly involved the treatment of transgender people.

————————————————————

The study included a sample of the responses of the reasons by those who detransitioned at some point in their life. I think they are insightful.

External factors

 Caregiving reasons “I was caring for my 80+ year old mother who had severe dementia, and it was just too confusing for her.”

 Difficult to blend in as identified gender “I don't pass, even after FFS [facial feminization surgery] etc.”

 Financial reasons “Unable to afford HRT [hormone replacement therapy]”

 Lack of support “Lack of trans community at the time” “Back in 1997, virtually no one had heard of queergender people. I couldn't find a support system, and I couldn't figure out how to tell people what I was.”

 Legal reasons “Social services legal pressure regarding child custody” “Forced to by going to federal prison for two years” “Family court order—part of custody award”

 Medical reasons “Blood clotting from estrogen” “Pain in binding large chest”

 Fertility reasons “We decided to have kids so [I] went back to testosterone long enough to bank sperm so we can do IVF [in vitro fertilization].”

 Pressure from a medical health professional “Parents took me to a region with hostile doctors.” “Medical supervisor at federal facility removed regional-approved treatment because I didn't fit his idea of ‘a gay man so gay [he] wants to be a woman so it's easier to sleep with men’ after I had identified as lesbian to him.”

 Pressure from a mental health professional “Mental health professional told me I am not transgender and thought I was just crazy.” “In those days you couldn't be diagnosed trans if you were also gay or lesbian.”

 Pressure from a parent “Moved home after college. Had to conform for parents.” “I was facing being pulled out of school by my family.”

 Pressure from the community or societal stigma “With the high level of transphobia that exist[s], life gets very lonely.” “I live in a very conservative place and was afraid for my safety.”

 Pressure from my employer “There are times when my current job requires me to present [as] female.”

 I had trouble getting a job “I flip flopped genders because of needed employment.”

 Military-related reasons “Military forced me to detransition while in service.”

 Pressure from friends or roommates “Staying with people I knew would harass me”

 Pressure from unspecified or nonparent family members “Visiting conservative extended family for the holidays” “I temporarily detransition during visits with my in laws.”

 Pressure from religion or a religious counselor “Religious pressure (Mormon)” “Pressure from religion”

 Pressure from school “School staff harassed and abused me daily for my gender expression.” “Exclusion by Peers in School, No Mechanism for Getting Preferred Name on School Rosters”

 Pressure from a spouse or partner “I began to really clearly identify as transgender … but I realized it was pushing my marriage apart. At the time, I decided to try living as my assigned gender and set these feelings aside, but they kept cropping back up.”

 Wanting to find a spouse or partner “My partner of 4 years and I split up and I felt that I would always be alone as a trans person.” “Difficult to find lovers, dates”

 Sexual or physical assault “Traumatized by corrective rape so recloseted” “I have become frightened of the police since being sexually molested by an officer.”

 Sports-related reasons “Playing competitive sports”

 Travel or relocation “North Dakota is not a friendly place for anyone outside the gender binary. When I go back home, I butch up.” “I was studying abroad in a country hostile to LGBTQ* people (Russia).”

 Unable to access gender-affirming hormones “Living in rural area, couldn't get hormones” “I lost access to HRT and stopped passing.”

Internal factors

 Psychological reasons “Wasn't emotionally ready, I was scared of my identity.” “Transition had to be put on hold due to mental health issues.” “suicide attempt”

 Uncertainty or doubt around gender “Unsure of my exact gender identity” “Thought I might have been wrong/confused”

 Fluctuations in identity or desire “My gender feels complicated and changing all the time.” “I enjoy having the ability to go back and forth between genders.”

Note: internal factors can be the result of external factors (e.g., self-doubt regarding one's gender identity in response to being persistently misgendered or rejected).

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

Just to start off with, I would avoid using the word "dogmas" to describe what I think you're talking about regarding the Jedi here. You obviously don't have to personally share the Jedi's belief system or anything, you don't even have to enjoy the Jedi as characters, but the word "dogma" comes with a very specific connotation that is decidedly negative. The word "beliefs" or "philosophies" or even "traditions" or "practices" might better encompass what you're trying to say without placing an unnecessary judgment on a fictional culture that is pulling from a lot of REAL cultures and THEIR beliefs and practices. It's not dogma to live a lifestyle you wouldn't choose for yourself.

I would also argue that you probably like their philosophies and beliefs more than you think you do if you enjoy some of the Jedi characters. Obviously not every character needs to be to your taste, it'd be incredibly unrealistic for that to be true, but if you enjoy characters like Obi-Wan, or Mace, or Kit Fisto, or Shaak Ti, who are all very consummate Jedi and whose choices and stories almost always reflect their Jedi beliefs and philosophies, then you might actually be more chill with the Jedi than you think you are.

And this doesn't necessarily mean that you need to be invested in exploring Jedi culture as part of your fan experience or anything, but you don't NEED to feel the desire to explore Jedi culture in order to enjoy the Jedi. I don't think you need to separate out your enjoyment of specific Jedi characters from an enjoyment of the Jedi as a whole just because you maybe don't feel the need to dig into day-to-day life as a Jedi. But if you enjoy individual Jedi characters, you DO enjoy the Jedi, that's... sort-of involved in liking the Jedi characters even if not everyone is willing to admit it.

But honestly, I also think it's fine to have a somewhat complicated or more neutral relationship with certain characters. You don't have to love or hate everybody in the story. You can be neutral on characters like Jar Jar or Anakin if you want, or you can find Anakin a fascinating character while recognizing that he is in general an awful person who you would obviously hate in real life. You can find Jar Jar occasionally fun or funny without needing to adore him or think he's the best character in Star Wars or even appreciate every joke he's involved in.

For the Jedi, I think you can sit in a place where maybe what you enjoy about them most is the lightsabers and action scenes, and even though the culture itself isn't something you feel like exploring you can recognize that it's still an intrinsic part of what makes some of your favorite individual Jedi so likable. That sense of honor and compassion, their dedication to doing the right thing no matter what, THAT'S JEDI STUFF. If Obi-Wan's kindness towards everyone and his tenacity towards hardship in his life are some of the traits you like about him, THOSE ARE JEDI TRAITS.

The Jedi are, in many ways, the moral compass of the story and its beating heart, its emotional core. There's a reason that the climactic victorious ending of the entire original trilogy is named "The Return of the Jedi." The triumph comes from Luke truly embodying the Jedi, truly BECOMING a Jedi by acting with selflessness and compassion. Luke saving the Jedi from disappearing forever is the victory, almost more than Luke saving Anakin, because the Jedi are the symbol of hope in the galaxy. Saving Anakin wouldn't be possible and wouldn't really MEAN anything if Luke weren't a Jedi.

This is why I find it so ridiculous that so many people don't like the Jedi or their way of life when the Jedi's philosophies are literally baked into the entire thematic storyline right up to its triumphant ending. If you like Star Wars at all, you probably DO like the Jedi and their beliefs, whether you realize it or not, at least to some degree. Some of the individual Jedi characters may not be to your taste, fine, but the Jedi's belief system are literally the entire thematic message of Lucas's Skywalker Saga.

[kafus]

ok i've decided i want to infodump about vee and nova a little after all! because uhh not only am i impatient because autism but i also. want to dip my toes into talking about this. just days ago i was still terrified but now i am Tentatively Brave... if i can talk about it here casually like this then i should be able to write a more formal summary later some other time

i've tagged this post appropriately (at least i think i have, feel free to suggest if i should add more) but also a heads up here too before i keep talking that while i'm not going into graphic detail on anything there are STRONG themes of organized sexual abuse of a child, sexual abuse of animals, and grooming! (there are no disturbing visuals in this post, just text)

IF YOU CAN'T READ THIS POST THAT'S OKAY I STILL LOVE U

takes a deep breath alright so the deal with these two. back all the way in 2021, i decided i wanted to make "vent ocs" as in i just wanted some concrete/consistent designs i could use in vent art drawings that weren't a direct reflection of what i envision myself to look like or whatever. i was going through a lot in 2021, in december 2020 i had just gotten my first big repressed memory back and my life was in a whirlwind of change and heavily increased PTSD and DID symptoms, so i was using art a lot as an outlet. in the end i settled on this drawing, based on the design taste i would have had as a young person (god the quality is so old now LOL i've improved a lot but anyway)

i was intending for these two to be just visual designs and nothing more than that but i got attached and actually ended up giving them a whole storyline and everything, which is something i admittedly hadn't done in a long time up to that point so that's cool.

the reason i preface explaining the premise of the storyline with this is because i think it's important to acknowledge that these two are intrinsically tied with my real life and the feelings i experience as a CSA/OA survivor. not because i think someone has to go through awful things to write or draw about them necessarily, but because i am passionate about expressing myself. it's important for me to be seen in some way, to be heard after years of silence. it is not safe for me mentally to share the exact details of my abuse online rn (and please don't ask for them!) but i also don't want these two to be removed from the message that i survived something and this is me making art about that in an abstracted and magical way with a fictional universe that brings me a lot of comfort. i hope this makes sense lol

oh and also with that in mind if you think for even a second any of this is a weird sex thing for me or some shit please stop reading this post and go do something else with your time. this is my trauma expression and i don't need to be compared to the people i was abused by when i was a literal toddler thank you!

AANYWAY so! premise! gonna be point blank with it! vee (not her original name but shh) is born as a normal 100% human girl, aka without the eevee ears and tail. she is groomed from a very young age (like, toddler age) and eventually abducted by her groomers which happen to be members of... well right now it's team rocket because i haven't spent the time to worldbuild a new villainous pokemon organization yet. roll with me here. she is taken to a remote facility out in the middle of fucking nowhere and is never returned to her previous life or family.

Why? well i'm glad you asked! the org is running a bunch of different experiments in this facility and one of them happens to be trying to enable humans reproducing with pokemon. this doubles as both a money thing and a power thing. they seek out a child as the victim of these horrible experiments because children are easily malleable. way easier to control a child than an adult who already has a firm identity/self.

vee is the child they chose. surgery is forcibly done on her to give her working eevee ears and tail, and also like, fuck with her body chemistry and stuff. she's biologically part eevee now. yes this is bullshit pokemon magic science LMAO but she is kept in this facility and chronically sexually abused for a few years by pairing her with various mons and trying to get eggs to happen.

the experiment isn't working though so they hypothesize that giving her a dedicated partner, especially of the same evolutionary line, would help, and they raise nova from birth as an eevee to take on that role. eventually the two of them are paired together. despite the acts they are forced to commit on each other and the abuse they endure, they actually become inseparable very quickly cause like. they don't have anyone else. and also they just genuinely care about each other. additionally at this point nova has evolved into an espeon and has telepathic powers, so him and vee can communicate linguistically with each other, so you know that helps

generally my current focus of this story is in the early years, when vee is 12 and younger, before they start realizing that shit is fucked up and they need to escape (up until that hypothetical point they have been successfully groomed into believing everything happening to them was not abuse/was normal). i have left out a metric fuckton of detail here just to get across the basic premise. i am constantly exploring vee's psyche, nova's psyche, it's like an in depth exploration of the mind of an abused child in horrific circumstances and god it's cathartic. i love these two so fucking much

btw i guess this art has more context now huh haha after i infodumped off the plot to my sister they looked at this art again and was like. OHHH THIS IS EVEN MORE OMINOUS AND HARD TO LOOK AT WITH CONTEXT. AND I WAS LIKE YEAH!!!! YOU SEE THE VISION!!! THE SYMBOLISM!! ETC!!!!

uh yeah if you read this far thank you and i just wanna say i've been building up the courage to talk about these two for GENUINELY two years, it has been over 2 full years since that initial drawing, and i am nervous and jittery posting this but i do not want to die without having shared my work with the world and i'm willing to take the risks to get my voice out there. so you reading it is very much appreciated ur like my first step into being more confident as a survivor lol

oh and fwiw despite these guys being so correlated with my trauma it's not offensive to make headcanons or ask me questions about them or compliment darker art of them however you want, in fact i love that shit!! please i've been holding these guys back for two years i have so much to say that hasn't been said. as much as i am nervous i am EXCITED

[muffinrecord]

This kind of struck me, but mostly to do with personal reasons. I got depression and when it gets really bad, I'm convinced that I don't actually exist and have actually already died. My parents serve this kind of role sometimes-- "proof that I exist".

It feels weirdly jarring to have that experience reflected back to me from the screen.

Hmm... If this was real life and I were Rabi... I wouldn't necessarily be hostile to Shirogane but I probably would dislike her/find her very uncomfortable to be around. There is something very scary about being invisible and then encountering a person who is actually looking at you and seems to know you better than you know yourself. It feels very unsafe. Of course that's just me-- I'm not sure how Rabi would react.

Like many things about Rabi, this is a fairly passive response. She doesn't condemn or condone Shirogane's probing. She just acknowledges that it exists and that it might be difficult. It's also slightly humorous, which deflects from the serious nature of what Shirogane is trying to say here-- "I see you" becomes "owch that sounds difficult."

Shirogane responds to Rabi with a bit of banter.

Rabi's response is to change the subject to something else. She doesn't return the banter whatsoever. In fact, even the way she phrases this is passive. It's like she's stating a fact.

She follows up by asking, "What about you? Your family are farmers, right?"

I think you can read this a few different ways if you wanted to. Asking a question makes Rabi more involved, but it also further distances herself from the previous topic. It could be a sign of opening up but it could also be a sign of making a barrier.

Shirogane's response is absolutely hilarious though. She's saying that she's not interested in the festival, but it's hard to not read this as her saying that she's not interested in Rabi's attempts to change the subject. As always, Shirogane is direct and active.

You really gotta admire Shirogane. Girl is not afraid.

[emeldiir]

Can rich people be butch and femme? I wanna create some OCs but I read somewhere that rich people can't be butch femme?

I wouldn’t really consider this to be a case of if they can or can not, but more of a ‘what should i consider when making accurate to life representations of butch/femme culture and identity?’

there’s a few different points I wanna make here, so bear with me, hopefully this will make sense to ya ;>

1) butch and femme as it is most commonly recognized today was born out of american sapphic working class culture. It originally evolved to be a protective dynamic for queer people to shield, shelter, and find life saving companionship with each other in during the 1930s up through the 1990s until queerness and transness began to be (slightly) more accepted in mainstream society and violence/brutality lessened (slightly)

2) because butch/femme is born out of working class queer culture it is most authentically practiced, worn, and understood by the people who helped define it. wealth, power, and privilege often go hand in hand so for a rich queer person during the height of queer bar culture and butch/femme dynamics, the experiences they would have had would (most likely) be significantly different to the experiences that a poor blue collar butch/femme person would have had.

3) as times have changed, so has the way we define and label queerness today, and as a result we now have a myriad of different experiences and cultures to pull from. I am very hesitant to gatekeep the labels of butch and femme from most queer people, but it is important to sit down and self reflect on the identity and what the labels mean etc etc. the historical identities of butch and femme are no longer used for their intended purpose of protection in larger society from violence and now are more so defined as a gender or a dynamic at play in queer relationships. The aspect of richness doesn't necessarily exclude anyone automatically from the identity and culture in such a polarizing way anymore

for example, there are butches and femmes in L.A. right now who make thousands and thousands more then i do, in my little rackety midwestern ohio town. I would not say that they are not butch or femme, simply that they have a very different butch/femme experience then I do.

I do not want to make the final decision on if rich fictional characters can be butch/femme for you, I want to give you some insight into how butch/femme dynamics and identity work in real life and then hopefully you can pull an answer that suits you from the information i’ve given.

since these are fictional characters, it’s up to you as to how lifelike they will be, so all of this information is supplementary to your own original ideas and the story you want to tell.

as for my opinion, I personally enjoy making my characters as accurate to life as possible so while I wouldn’t be opposed to rich butch/femme characters in my stories, it would be very apparent that they have a different understanding and experience of their butch/femme identities.

I hope this offered some insight to you, and please let me know more about these ocs if you’d like anon! I love hearing about other people’s stories and their. characters!

[accio-victuuri]

yuguyao sweets part 6 🫶🏼 🍬🍭 and other things..

( a very cute / good boi shuo shuo invites you in. )

this is his most recent one released by tencent video. i just love these because we are free to study it and the seeing how he explains things — no one can confirm that it has nothing to do with some of his life experiences.

what cpfs are mostly pointing out is this part, where he talks about when zhu yan stabs shi ying. and oh, apparently zz improvised the line : “if i die, will you be sad?”

He comforted her, he said don't be sad. I will not blame you. If there’s a kind of comfort, I think,, this is not the state of people who are truly in love for a long time. The state of people who are truly in love should be, I want you to feel sad for me. So when I am dying, I can hear your heartfelt words. I'll be happy if you’re sad because I feel like I've never been a perfect person in the setting of Shi Ying. I don't want him to be the perfect one. The director, writer, screenwriter and producer we all participated in heated discussion. That is, “what would happen if lovers really fell in love with each other?” I believe it will not be like this. Everyone is very twisted. The relationship must not be very smooth.

So let’s just analyze this…

1. People who are truly in love for a long time? Sir. What do you know about that? Maybe it has something to do with your husband. You can say that he got this understanding from somewhere and not necessarily from personal experience, but i feel like, when it comes to love and this kind of explanation, it has to be from XZ himself. When you talk about “love” in this kind of drama setting, it usually does not reflect what happens in real life. I’m glad he fought for that and has that kind of experience so he can give some input.

2. The part where he says, “I want you to feel sad for me.” — brings turtles back to the Japan Trip. When they were both “sad” because they were apart and both were not sure what will happen to them. We know they both gravitate towards “bittersweet love songs” and probably towards stories with that tone, but hearing XZ openly saying that love isn’t just sunshine and rainbows but also sadness is comforting. What matters is you stay together and are with each other in the happy & sad moments. When you think about how long they have been together and all the storms they had to go through — it makes sense that XZ will mention this. I wanna say WYB is attuned with XZ’s emotions, even if you don’t SZD, in the interviews back in 2019, it was so obvious that WYB can sense when XZ was already uncomfortable and will do his best to divert the attention.

3. The way he explains falling in love as twisted & not very smooth which i think means the “reality” of a relationship. Turtles were then quick to point out the “jealousy” examples we’ve seen before.

While I don’t think every evidence we’ve seen was jealousy ( tho happy camp gg was scary ), it makes sense in this context. The two of them didn’t have a very smooth relationship journey and even now, there are challenges but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. add the fact that it’s to be expected because of who they are. No matter what relationship timeline you believe in, theirs is not exactly the conventional story, so it’s telling that XZ describes falling in love this way.

I also read this comment and it’s so true!!!! XZ will not settle for anything less when it comes to love and maybe some people will find it too demanding.

If there is one person who can meet that standard and has a one track mind when it comes to the things he loves, someone who will pursue it no matter what — it’s wang yibo. 💚

I also love the part where he says one his favorite shoot was when the temple was being fixed and they had to be “outside”. they shot it in the studio and the light was very warm, like the sunshine. Oh. Okay. 👀

you mean like WYB’s song…. they really gravitate towards the same things, and to think this interview was way before the song was released.

AND OH this behind the scenes clip reminds us of this xz and wyb interaction. Their brains really connect like no other and they have the same humor! 😂😂😂

This one is not YGY related, but apparently the new trailer for One and Only was posted 10:05 then was deleted and reposted again. I’m sure there must be a reason, but turtles can’t help but clown and think they didn’t want to give candy with the 10:05 😂😂 or they did, but took it back. LOL.

There are figures sold for Chen Shuo & Shi Ying from the same company! I guess this fulfills people’s AU pairing of Shiying x Modern Yibo. of SDC 5 Yibo will work too 🥹🥹🥹

-END.

[mx-melancholic]

TUA S4 THOUGHTS : On the Five/Lila situation

I guess what I want to say is I don't mind Five/Lila in the "out of character" way. I don't like it, but I can accept it. I can live with it. I wanted them to be platonic, and I loved their friendship dynamic, but I'm asexual and I'm used to these dynamics turning romantic, which is a whole other discussion. I can see why this would happen within the story and the characters, and the fact that it's uncomfortable and weird does actually fit the nature of the story, which is often uncomfortable and weird. It is wrong, but it's a kind of wrong I can appreciate. I don't think it's unlike the characters in question, because I think that's the whole point - it's not "out of character", it's wondering what must've happened to make them reach this point. I don't think it's a reflection of bad writing, but of the sheer weight of their experience in the subway. I actually think it's fine for Five to "suddenly" drop his family as his top priority, not despite, but because he's been preoccupied with them for so long, and finally got some freedom and everyday, normal experiences, and lost them again because of his family. I can see that Five did want to live a regular (albeit unusual) human life, and his years without powers were valuable to him. I can understand why the idea would be that he would "give it all up" for simplicity. As for Lila, I can imagine that, while Diego transformed her, she still longs for a deep connection in general, and spending time with someone who gives that to her could lead to this kind of closeness.

Where my problem is, other than the fact that I personally just don't vibe with this ship (which goes for most ships with me tbh), is the way in which it's phrased. "Five lacked romantic attraction" . "A romance was missing from Five's storyline".

Five was a complete character. His lack of romantic attraction didn’t make him any less of a character. That said, he did experience romance - with Delores, and this was a very close relationship that meant a lot to him, as strange and atypical. I hate this idea that he needed a partner to be a complete, finished person. That's what rubs me the wrong way. I'm not here to demand he's asexual, because I don't think that's even necessarily relevant here - asexual or allosexual, nobody is "incomplete" because they haven't "found" someone. This is both forcing the narrative in that direction, and devaluing his very real relationship with Delores, and I hate that.

Also, I don't even need to say how gross it was to make the actors do this. They didn't like it, they didn't want it, and even if they didn't mind, it's weird. There's like a 15 year age gap. They met when Aidan was a teenager. It feels like the writers waited behind a corner for him to turn 18 to flip this into the story, and that makes me severely uncomfortable.

[bleue-flora]

As an inniter, but also a big c!Dream fan, you would not believe the people who get so upset over me just trying to be chill and talk about them both fairly. I don't get why people want to get so mad over block game. Personally, I love listening to other people’s thoughts, that's what community is about!

It is definitely wild to say the least. Though that’s not unique to discduo or even the dsmp, though certainly more prevalent in this fandom opposed to others. (I mean Supernatural fans are out here shipping brothers and Sam Winchester and his torturer, the literal Devil and I never came across them at each other’s throats. I mean talk about being an “abuse apologist” lol XD… ) but that over passion turned aggression does seem to be all across the internet and even into real life. It’s quite toxic really, used to be only politics were a dangerous topic but now it seems anything can garner pitchforks.

To be completely honest, I used to be a very passionate arguer, mind you about dealing with people and not young Minecraft boys. But I realized at some point that yelling at eachother was quite the waste of energy. If the other side is not even willing to listen or see your side then you might as well by talking to a brick wall, at least they might be more polite. So, I stopped arguing with people, who just wanted to scream nonsense without trying to see the other side, and started listening and discussing with people who mutually wanted to just talk about it. And I found it far more productive and interesting. Turns out people aren’t just terrible if they disagree with you, they just might have their own priorities or experiences or reasons that you don’t have. The world would be a simpler place if there was only one right answer and opinion and one wrong, but the truth is there is typically a little of both in either side, and a lot of times it’s just choosing which things are the most reasonable or important to you.

And we can always learn from each other even if at the end of the day your opinion remains the same. Most importantly, there’s really just no reason to hate someone just because they disagree with you, and their opinion doesn’t necessarily reflect their morals or whether they are or are not a good person. Sometimes you just gotta love and respect them anyways, maybe listen and respectively challenge their thinking when you can and give eachother space and room to grow as people…

[alcyonei]

As someone who avoids their reflection for a variety of reasons, but who also cares about their appearance, I don't think Astarion would forget what he looks like entirely.

Like in a pinch I can do minimal makeup without a mirror, including setting my hair and drawing on eyebrows just cuz I've fussed so much so long about these things I know where I like them to go/fall and can do them by touch-memory. If Astarion is anything like that- which he kinda is- then in his first life, he must've fussed with his appearance so much, he just knows. He might've even done multiple reflection checks throughout the day to make sure everything was still in place, not necessarily to marvel or even significantly look at himself. Even as a magistrate, he had an image to uphold, and thats really all he looked for in the mirror.

Regardless, 200 years is a long time to go without seeing your own face, and given his struggles with abuse, torture, and identity, it also must've impacted his self-image. The thing is- and this is drawing from personal experience- he probably has at least two images of himself in his mind, the one that he uses to charm (imaging himself as his most charming, beautiful self, as someone who is undeniably attractive) and that which is impacted by the abuse (seeing himself as broken, worthless, monstrous, etc).

The other spawn obviously can help him with the menial things like doing his hair or whatever, but he probably gets very particular if something doesn't feel right, or if he just knows they're not making him look like he wants, they're combing his hair all wrong, they're using too much balm, etc. He would probably train himself to do it alone, not trusting anyone else to get it right.

So if tav does draw him, more than anything he might just play it off cool, not recognizing himself at first but having a vague idea that it's him. "Is that really what I look like?" he'd say, almost dismissively, as if you either don't have the eye and skill to capture his glorious charm, or how dare you outline such unseemly lines across his carefully cared for visage.

But he'll keep staring at the picture. He'll keep staring so intently he won't listen to anything you answer. He'll drink up every single detail, because even if it isn't directly from the source, it's something. You let him keep the drawing and he hangs it up. Maybe he tucks it into his mirror's frame. Maybe he stares at it as he falls asleep and tries to reconcile his distorted images of himself with an image of how someone sees him. It may be too much to process alone. He falls asleep with it.

Maybe he later begins to question how true to real life it might be given your...bias, because although he remembers being good-looking with some degree of certainty, he doesn't remember ever being quite so beautiful. Why would you draw him like this, he'd wonder. Logically, he knows. Logically, he understands you must find him at least physically appealing enough to be intimate. But the mundane beauty of the man in the drawing, surely that's not him, is it? Just existing. Just beautiful by virtue of being? That's.....that's not.....

He'll never admit to you that it brings him close to tears sometimes. But he'd never stop looking at it.

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Karma. "The World is Hooked on Kate" - Daniela Elser by u/Von_und_zu_

Karma. "The World is Hooked on Kate" - Daniela Elser Good job Megsy and hateful minions! You have become denizens of the sewer and all your nasty plotting and machinations have propelled Catherine to the position you desired most. Hoisted by your own petard. Waaaugh.The Kate Middleton, Princess of Wales takeover is here.I’ve had a busy morning with the calculator and can tell you that the three videos released by Kensington Palace of the princess this year have hit more than 165.8 million views.Her reappearance on Sunday for the mens’ finals at Wimbledon, only the second time the princess has been seen in public this year, offers us some cold hard proof of this, with the outing triggering a wild response on social media. 41 million – that’s the number of times that the videos of Kate at the tournament shared by the official Wimbledon and Kensington Palace Instagram accounts have been viewed. Add in the numbers from X, formerly Twitter, and the total across both platforms and both accounts is just shy of 50 million views. Now sure, these are not so stratospheric that they would force Kris Jenne to defy the powers of her filler-ed forehead to raise even a single, cursory eyebrow of approval but what they point to is Kate going global in a way that she never has before.\*\**Kate was dumped as one of the front row players in the biggest soap opera in the world. Post Megxit, the Sussexes’ eagerness to ventilate their feelings – and the events that had transpired behind palace gates – brought Kate to life in a way, fleshing her out as an actual person, taking her from being something of a very pretty sphinx to rendering her in colour in a way she had never been before.\***Posed perfection was replaced with realness and, courtesy of the Sussexes’ revelations, her being freighted with a cultural resonance and weight she had not previously. In 2021, her launch of The Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood started to add real substance to her image and public standing too. And then came 2024 with a great crashing, cacophonic bang. The first few months of this year were wholly consumed by the utter fruit loopy Kategate madness, the princess suddenly becoming the 21st century’s answer Ameilia Earhart. The Wales'’ Adelaide Cottage became social media’s grassy knoll as much of the world underwent some sort of deserves to be studied collective hallucinatory experience. Then with the revelation that Kate has cancer, a moment that demanded even more vehement synonyms than ‘shocking’ being hauled out, the princess took on a certain tragic- yet-brilliantly-brave, heroic quality.****Like her late mother-in-law Diana, Princess of Wales, she has morphed over the years from liked in the UK and Commonwealth, to adored in the UK and Commonwealth, to global celebrity, to mythical figure. Which, I reckon, is how we land at than Kate videos being viewed more 223 million times in 2024 so far. (That is, across official royal and Wimbledon accounts, across X and Instagram and of her cancer announcement, Trooping outing and appearance at the tennis. And it’s worth pointing out here we have not even factored in numbers from TikTok, where Kate and royal content is rife, because none of the royal offices have accounts on the platform.) 223 million times. That number does not speak to cursory interest or mild curiosity but the Princess of Wales having become an object of pervasive, global fascination to an unprecedented degree. 223 times. The world is indisputably hooked on Kate.Eat your heart out Megs.https://archive.ph/WoLGp​ post link: https://ift.tt/TVPIGEg author: Von_und_zu_ submitted: July 17, 2024 at 12:42PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.