#also learned about taxes which was more fun than i thought it would be

[mattynmarns]

my financial literacy class has been the most effective class I've ever taken at school by FAR

[air--so--sweet]

Okay I already made one post about Klaus's rehab 'accessories' sold as part of a TUA prop auction and there's a lot of cool stuff but I can't post about everything, as much as I would like to, but there's one more thing I thought was worth singling out, Reginald Hargreeve's journal from season 2.

Transcription:

I have finally arrived at my destination. The journey was lengthy and arduous, far more taxing than any of my expeditions back home. Few of my fellows were prepared for the physical and emotional demands of the trip. The close quarters, the strict rations, the seemingly nonexistent passage of time. One could easily succumb to insanity or death in such a fate. I carry Abigail in my heart, her tenacious spirit and altruistic nature. She would not allow me to stay behind and perish with her, and in turn I will not allow her to die with me.

It took a ludicrously short span of time to determine my new home is a filthy, foolish and depraved place. I find it hardly worthy of saving, despite my commitment to doing so. Why should I have abandoned my Abigail for the sake of countless souls, not one of which could even hope to match her selfless grace? But I know she would admonish me for these thoughts, and tell me to recognise the value in all who reside in this despondent place.

It will take decades to see my plan to fruition. I enacted the very first step prior to embarking on my journey and now I can do little more than await the date of its engenderment. In the meantime I will commence building an identity, empire and legacy in my own right. My singular priority in the years to come is to ensure access to the resources (both material and intangible) to successfully implement the final phase. I am resolved to make Abigail proud.

There's so much interesting stuff in here. Firstly the implication that Reginald Hargreeves is not the only one from his planet on Earth. I don't think we'll learn anything about or see the other aliens, but I do wonder what they were getting up to while Reggie was doing his thing. Honestly I think it wpuld be funny for a throwaway allusion to some of them being certain public figures.

He knew before he came to Earth it needed saving. It's unclear from phrasing if he chose to do this or was tasked with it. And why him and seemingly only him if he was not the only one to travel to Earth? Or was the plan always save the world and then use hotel oblivion and the 7 bells to remake it with Abigail by his side? In season 1, having failed, did he choose to kill himself to reunite the academy to at least complete one part of his plan, having failed at the rest? A last ditch attempt to honour Abigail's memory? Hotel Oblivion was more or less off the table as soon as Ben died (which in a way makes ut funnier Klaus frequented Hotel Obsidian when he was on the streets, it literally just became a hotel and nothing more 😂).

That brings me onto the next thing - his love for Abigail. This is the most affection we've ever seen from Hargreeves I think (and the least creepy since the closest example I can think of was him creating a robot mother in his ex-girlfriend's likeness). Though saying he doesn't see why he should abandon her to save all life on earth is a tiny bit concerning. His description of Abigail as altruistic and saying that she would admonish him for not seeing the value in the lives of humans is definitely interesting (also I cant help but feel the choice of saying 'selfless grace' over 'selfness nature' or similar was intentional, not that it means anything, just a fun play on words). I saw a theory forever ago (I believe on reddit but I'm not sure, if I find it I'll edit and add credit) that in season 4 Abigail will leave Reginald when she learns what he did to bring her back and the way he describes her here it doesn't sound like she would be okay with the cruel and abusive treatment of his children followed by him sucking them of their powers and seemingly life force to revive her (though the fact Luther is alive it's possible he planned to reincarnate all of them in the new universe but y'know, maybe make Allison aware so she doesn't chop your head in half before you fully finish building your new universe). The Reginald who wrote this journal entry bears hallmarks of the one we knew, but he seems to have been somewhat tempered by Abigail. Did the decades without her cause a hardening that led to the cold, cruel and abusive man he became? A man Abigail will no longer recognise as the man she fell in love with? Based on this it doesn't seem unlikely but, as far as I recall, these entries are never seen on screen so I don't think we can really count them as canon, especially not knowing who wrote them (I suspect it was someone on the writing staff but we don't know that for certain). However, I vaguely remember seeing a few claims of a new big bad several places, I think people may have sourced this from an interview with Steve Blackman (I intentionally avoid interviews with him because he gives far too much away) which, if the main villain of the piece is not in fact Hargreeves, Abigail, the love of his life and his whole reason for his lifes work leaving him, feels like a pretty good catalyst for him to give up, and possibly even yield to anything the Umbrellas ask of him or maybe even help them?

And lastly, when writing this I couldn't help but think how Reginald's loss of Abigail mirrors several of the Umbrella's own losses. His deal with Allison involved getting Ray and her daughter back and there's been a lot of people wondering if Dave, Sissy, Harlan or even Patch could be alive in this new universe. Allison's words to Viktor before pressing the button, 'Trust me,' and the fact we didn't see her make the deal with Reginald (beyond the handshake Five saw through the doorway) has made me wonder if it didn't just involve her getting to be reunited with her lost loved ones but her siblings too (though my housemate suggested the alternative idea that she made a deal for herself and Viktor only, as he is the only other Umbrella to lose a romantic partner and child, a loss Allison is partially responsible for, having killed adult Harlan, and he's also the sibling Allison was cruelest to in season 3). Would Hargreeves have agreed to the terms of any deal if it meant getting his way? Yeah probably, but I also feel like he might have been more willing to agree to Allison's terms if they involved reuniting her and her siblings with the people they loved who they had to leave for reasons outside of their control (Ray, Sissy and Harlan) or they lost to death (Dave, Harlan (again) and Patch, and in a sense Claire). I feel like I'm giving Hargreeves too much credit but at the same time there's moments in the show that could be interpreted as him caring for the Umbrellas and I do believe he cared for human Grace and Pogo too so it's not impossible that he's capable of empathy, at least at times where it wouldn't negatively impact him or stop him from doing what he believes is right (though just to be clear - any care or love he felt does not in any way absolve him of the cruelty and abuse he subjected his children to or the fact he subjected Pogo to a life of servitude either).

It's just occurred to me that there's the whole additional layer in regards the apocalypse that Reginald was aware of it and wanted to avert it yet he was the cause of it as without his interference the Umbrellas (and other super powered children) would never have been born, never mind his treatment of them, especially Viktor, leading to them growing into the adults they were that led to their actions causing the apocalypse. I've already spent several hours and a tonne of hyperfocus writing this though when I have other real world stuff to do so I'm going to leave it here.

[neverheroes]

You’re here! ˳·˖✶ ⋆˚. ∘. Yay fillet ◦ ∿ . *･ﾟﾟ!

This is an every hyperfixation dumpsterfire because I can’t compartmentalise, can I hear a wahoo. Again, if you know me, pretend you never saw this. I need this aside from real life to vent weirdness into the void.

TMNT is a life-long special interest so that’ll probably stick around and recur. The answer to which TMNT I like is “Yes”.

Yes, you can use any of my art you want to as headers or pfps. No, reposting art is silly please don’t do it. This account would get an M rating as a movie but mostly just because of the occasional blood and swearing. Minors are welcome to interact but I am an adult ok I pay taxes. No tcest or sexual content ever, just silliness and thinking too hard about things generally nobody cares about.

Hello more readers! Here’s… more.

I’ve changed my @ to neverheroes but I’ll still be using these location tags. Art tags are ‘bekmadethis’ + franchise. Meta/reviews are ‘bekthoughtthis’ + franchise. Short fictions are ‘bekwrotehis’ + franchise (see post tags)

bekmadethistmnt - ninja turtles

bekmadethisat - adventure time

bekmadethisofmd - our flag means death

bekmadethisgoodomens - good omens

I hope you like style and content inconsistency ^-^ feel free to drop a request.

My big weird™ is that I’ll absolutely be drawing those two 03’s goofy. You know who. Look, the 87 fans shouldn’t have called Leo the gay one so much if they didn’t want me to accept and endorse the message ok.

I’m struggling and inconsistently making a fan comic to teach myself to draw, I’ve always wanted to be even just okay at comic art and never had the inspiration to put in the learning time. It’s accidentally turning into an actual story, just writing itself as we go. 2023 was the year of AuDHD diagnosis and 2024 was the year of learning I’m weirder than I thought. Fun fact you didn’t ask for; when I remember a dream it’s usually a vivid and brutal apocalypse, that was probably a clue.

The ADHD gets in the way of productivity a lot so I’m only ˳·˖✶ ⋆˚. ∘. slay fillet ◦ ∿ . *･ﾟﾟin bursts. It also means I will just randomly make and reblog unrelated stuff out of nowhere.

Grab joy where you can find it. ☆

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep : I don't know the episode numbers anymore I never wrote them down, so from here on out, I'm just going to number up from my previous post. So I guess episode 49

Fun fact I finished this post a week ago and then never pressed send. I can blame this on a lot of things, (work, illness, brain fog, etc) but at this point we just know it's the universe trying to keep me from finishing S5 of my Yugioh reblog, lmao.

So, last we left off, Sad Seto was next to die.

What makes this extra weird is that the other Seto is going to just watch this entire thing happen. He apparently didn't have enough traumatic disassociating while watching his Blue Eyes Wife die, now he will disassociate from watching himself go out in a blaze of glory, too.

Sad Seto's strategy against Zorc is not really what you'd expect out of the #2 of Egypt's court. Although...I guess before everyone biffed it, Seto was more like #5? #6?

He's above Mana I feel. Barely. Mostly because Mana probably isn't the right age to legally work, even in ancient Egypt when the working age is like...if you can walk.

But he was apparently so busy doing Aknadin's taxes that he's decided it's good judgement to throw himself at a 800 ft tall dragon/crotch/man.

for his credit, Sun Tzu's art of war hasn't been written yet.

And Sad Seto realizes his true purpose, which is that he has a smarter, stronger, and more powerful girlfriend (ish.) Which is a running theme on this show, as we all know.

In a bizarre cut that I can't believe they left on US TV...other than I think they couldn't cut this any other way, the penis dragon attached to Zork extended it's neck up to grab Blue eyes by her neck and just fling her into the ground, killing her instantly.

I don't like that the neck can extend longer. I don't like that it's a function of the dragon crotch. They knew. They knew what this looked like. Thanks, I hate it.

Also what an embarrassing way for Seto's past self to die. Truly the hieroglyphs about this event will be wild, and thousands of years later, Grandma Muto probably looked at this event etched into stone and just thought it was weird ancient pervert stuff.

Sorry if you were thinking Sad Seto would recover last minute and realize he's like the most OP person in Yugioh. He instead rotted from his hand and joined the rest of our Egyptian cast in Shadow Hell.

Leaving us with just Mana. And like kudos to her, but how on EARTH did she survive so freakin long!? Like of all of them, I thought Seto would be the last one. Not Mana. Not in a million years did I think it'd be the girl who hid in a pot.

But youknow maybe that's why she survived?

And then Bakura casually walked away from the only Seto who matters. Which is fitting, because if memory serves, that's also what Yami did to Seto for like half of the Battle City tourney.

It's such a weird strange bod on this dragon. It's such a strange bod. He's both got kind of a belly, but also is ripped to shreds. Such a weird bod.

In case you were like "We haven't given Seto enough motivation," we also toss in a few nearly dead brothers just to make sure we have properly traumatized this boy to the point where he'd duel someone who isn't Yugi Muto.

Seto decided magic exists 6 minutes ago, and he's already better at magic than Yugi Muto who's had access to it for YEARS.

Like he learned about magic in a different culture, a different time, a different language, and now he's fighting the final boss.

But it's Seto, so I buy it. He would speedrun his life like this.

That's the dialogue of the show where he says his first words were "neutron blast attack" and youknow...he probably has very few memories of himself as a child since his parents died and his other family put him up for adoption...but he knows his first words?

That, or Seto likes making his brand a reality by making up whatever nonsense it takes to make that brand legit. Which I can also see him doing.

Also please don't look at this foreshortened hand, don't look at it, ignore that this happened.

So thanks to Bakura's weird choice to drag Seto into this universe in the first place, now Bakura has to fight Seto and his 3 blue eyes that would not have existed here otherwise.

++++++ME RANTING ABOUT THE SETO ARC FEEL FREE TO SKIP++++

TBH it kinda makes the whole Sad Seto arc feel kind of like it didn't need to exist. Like this is the Seto fight that matters. This one right here, and although they share a name, it's not with the same guy who fought Zorc at the beginning of this episode.

And like I could add it to a list of problems with this season. But Sad Seto started out so interesting, and then forgot. It was like he only existed to introduce the dragon, and not explain anything at all about the nature of Seto Kaiba we know and love. Like the possession of Aknadin can be a parallel to how Seto was raised following Gozaburo's footsteps, but youknow...that's all old territory.

Like, I wish I had any sort of new growth from the interaction of either of the Seto's together in the same room, much like we've been getting from Yami facing his past self. Yami's been growing a lot, he's been facing his demons, but Seto? Seto's been walking around this desert trying find wifi.

(which like he did find a "wifey" which is almost wifi but wasn't as helpful because she was dead)

The Seto Kaiba who is fighting Bakura right now, is the same exact guy we saw at the end of the last arc against Zeigfried Von Schroeder.

Which means the reason that Seto is now souped up and capable of going up against Bakura isn't because of anything we witnessed here in this arc, but because of the weird horse guy last arc who taught him how to put up a better firewall.

And maybe there was a draft where Seto decides he is a spiritual reincarnation of the Pharaoh of Egypt. Maybe there was a draft where he gained a new ability. Maybe there was a draft where he realized the gravity of what was happening and wanted to save the world.

But it ain't this draft, unfortunately.

Seto is here not because of an internal growth reason, but because he was on a tablet in S2, and we have to know where that plot thread went to have an ending...but the show rewrote what it initially said in S2.

Like in the OG timeline, it was Seto who killed Pharaoh. But here we found out it was actually Aknadin who possessed Seto to kill Pharaoh. (and at some point in that fight, Pharaoh stuck his soul in a box and sealed away Zorc)

Sad Seto was apparently a chill bro the entire time. Just a nice guy who arrested half of Cairo and had a sort-of-girlfriend for about 8 hours before she biffed it.

And I would have been OK with that, if it were more interesting than what we initially thought happened in the past: where we thought it was a kickass Seto launching a coup. But unfortunately, it's not, instead it's a boy who started out powerless, and continued to be powerless despite working in Pharaoh's literal court. He didn't even have the power to not get possessed.

And I am sure there were other drafts, and endings are hard, and the author did get hella hospitalized while he wrote this season, animation is a miracle of many moving parts and budgets, and we were lucky to even get an ending to this show. So I don't want to sound like I'm complaining when there are so many worse directions this show could have gone. I'm just a little surprised it went this direction, mostly.

But say what you will about Yugioh, it doesn't like to be predictable, doesn't it?

+++++++++++++++++++OK I'M DONE++++++++++++++++++++++

Speaking of characters who haven't gained anything from being here, Tristan is no longer possessed!

Tristan begs his apologies and Yugi takes it gracefully. Which means, it's time for the main character of this entire show to finally re-enter the plot.

And they do so, in style.

Y'all I remember being excited about the look and style of extreme sports, but I do not remember this many heelies in the 00's.

Anyway, this is the link to read these in chrono order, you know the drill. See you next time to see yet another girlfriend biff it!

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[starry-miki]

⭐️ Get to know the artist! ⭐️

(+Obey Me! Questionnaire)

Here we are again… back again with another year down. Wow time really does fly by doesn’t it? My Anniversary for my tumblr was back in August but I was not really active until near the end of the year, (sorta) So I’ve decided to welcome the new year, with a ‘get to know artist’ post. I should’ve done this a while ago but I didn’t think of it till now. 😘

I will warn that this is much longer then intended, so maybe a 10 or 15 minute read, also warn of some profanity but mostly for phrases.

I will be answering basic art related questions and Obey Me! Questions near the bottom. (Which is the part that is much longer than I intended it to be)

Basic questions

Hello everyone, you may call me Miki, I’m a Obey Me! (Mostly a side characters) and OC artist. I don’t have a preferred pronounce so you may refer to be however you like!

Age: old enough to commit tax evasion. (Adult) 😘

Favorite color: good question I don’t actually have one I think lots of colors are pretty. 🥰

Birthday: April 5th (Aries?)

How long have I been drawing?

I’ve been drawing for about 3ish years, however the first year and half was on and off.

Would I be a good art moot?

If I’m being honest I’m more shy and people scary me, so if you would like to be friends you might need to approach first…. But I do have small surges of courage to message first sometimes! How my friends would describe my personality…

“The one with no care in the world that just tags along for the ride and accepts their fate” -Questionable TikTok post sent by my by friend.

To be honest I’m all over the place with my art….

Commission?

I have been thinking about open commissions and I think I will some time this year, but I’m a bit of a noob with rendering so I will practice before then!

A Fun fact: I’m a cat in a human’s body and need at least 10 to 12 hours of sleep to feel full rested, this also causes my sleeping schedule to get messed up. :P

What type of crime would I get arrested for?

Arson, honestly fire is so pretty when it burns things…. Has a weird magical feeling when you watch it….

An art advice?

I’m honestly still an artist noob so take what I say with a grain of salt. But for those starting out drawing, don’t worry about finding your art style it will develop in time while you learn and improve as well when you discover your likes and dislikes. I know one of the common advices usually given to find an art style is to reference off your favorite artists, it can work for some but for many others this advice doesn’t work, sometimes it can create a perfection of wanting to copy someone else art style or getting frustrated that it doesn’t look similar to your favorite artist style. But I promise patience and practice will pay off, don’t be afraid to indulge a bit out of your comfort zone and explore different styles, besides you may find yourself surprised with what you discovered.

Obey Me! related questions!

What and when did you play obey me?

I start back in early April, I kept getting ads for it on my Instagram and at some point I got tired of seeing it (and thought somebody in the universe really want me to play the game) and decided to play it, I didn’t think much about it and it was mostly something to kill time and I could have deleted it later when I got bored.

Did I mention that would be almost 4 years ago? (April 3, 2020)

Which of the brothers and side characters would I get along the best?

If I’m being honest I feel like I would get along with the majority of the cast, there always seems to be something I have in common or could do with the characters, I’ll start with the brothers first and also keep it short.

Lucifer: listening to classical music together or attending classical music concerts.

Mammon: ??? (actually the least brother I have common with)

Levi: video games, discussion of franchises and theories, etc.

Satan: appreciate cats and learning new things and intake of knowledge.

Asmo: I’m a rat so I love me some gossip while also doing self care. 😘

Beel: late night food runs or sneaking in the kitchen late a night to eat something (I do that in RL anyway)

Belphie: honestly sleeping buddies and anti lucifer club but I luv luci but still would like to occasionally join in the pranks. 😘

Diavolo: I honestly wouldn’t hang around with Diavolo if I’m being honest… just not much in common and other factors but I’m not going to elaborate.

Barbatos: I love me some good tea, some delicious food, pastries and barbatos company. 🥰

Simeon: honestly reminds me of some type of nice coworker and would just see him occasionally. (Still a pretty boy tho)

Luke: I’m the second or first sweets tester, I’m eat up those pastries and protect the bby. 🥹

Solomon: It works and I won’t elaborate. But I will say I will be with Solomon and Barbatos on a hot summer day with the AC on full blast cause we can’t stand the heat. (I heat up so quickly and are much more prone to a heat exhaustion, so you probably guessed that summer isn’t my favorite season.) 😘

First character crush?

If I’m being honest I didn’t really had one? But I had a very light crush on mammon. If that counts for anything.

Current crushes?

This should be a no brainer but old man and surprisingly barbs. Which i feel like many wouldn’t know since I rarely draw him (exact a few times) or ever mention me having a little crush about him. 😗

Favorite obey me outfits or event?

I would say the chief/apron from the brothers and for event I think the vampire event is my favorite. 🤔

(I’ve already started running out of questions so I went to the B LOV questions to rizz you up lmao.)

B’s log question. From (2022) Devildom Homework

(I also skip some of the questions cause they have already been answered or I got no answer)

Link for the OM! Cast B’s Log (I recommend reading it, but not necessarily):

Things I like:

making sure I try to end conversations or interactions with people feeling happy or feeling positive. (Which definitely has drawn bad people but I have been more careful and selective) 😘

Favorite item: (like food???)

Homemade banana milkshake, fruits and pastries. 🥰

What you secretly think about the person you love:

how did that happen??? 😀

Your motto?

1. Sleep it off.

2. fuck around and find out until you find the solution (or create a new problem or make it worse). 😘

3. Everything is going to be okay, eat some sweets and try again. ☺️

Love Questionnaire.

Be the first one to confess love is what you will… do.

Be possessive is what you will?

“Won’t do, and don’t want to be possessive over either” -Solomon

Tbh same. 💀

Be jealous is what you will?

Do not. I find jealousy to be such an ugly emotion to feel and would like to avoid or completely eliminate the feeling when it rarely occurs.

A love with obstacles is….

honestly a pain in the ass but it honestly depends on the type of obstacle and if I love that person enough.

Days that you think about the person you love so much that you can’t fall asleep… do not exist.

Times when you can’t be honestly convey your feelings. Does not exist

—-

Devildom borderline:

Devildom charm distribution chart (self assessment ver.)

Dead set in the middle just a little bit to the reliable.

Please explain your choice on the chart!

If I’m being honest I don’t really find myself cool, cute, spoiled nor reliable. I’m more neutral? I mean if group projects count I guess I would be a little reliable? I’ll do my part of the project but I don’t really ask others if they need help with their work load but I do with friends though.

Tell me! Your borderline!

Border line of “Horror”- which on is more scary?

(1) 24hr long lecture from lucifer

(2) bungee jump form the highest mountain in the Devildom without a cord.

(3) other. “When you are thinking about eating a certain food in the fridge and when you get to it, it’s already been eaten. My day is ruined” 😔

Borderline of "Don't wanna do" - Which one would you avoid?

1. Asmo's 1-day photograph assistant

2. Beel's 1-day cook

3. Others. “Hurting people’s feelings and stomping their happy mood, I prefer someone to discuss about rocket science if that’s what they are passionate about and not understanding what they are talking about. It’s rare to see people have pure passion in something and talk about it excitedly, I never wish for that passion or excitedness to die out.

Borderline of "Wanna try" - Which one would you prefer experiencing?

1. 1-day Demon King

2. 1-day Devildom Spy

3. Others. “I honestly want to walk around nature solo and in different landscapes, maybe walk in a flowery meadow in the evening with pretty pink and purple evening sky or walk through a dark cloudy evening forest with light snow gently falling.”

Borderline of "Blessed" - Which one makes you happier?

1. People surrounding are smiling.

2. Enjoying yourself from the bottom of your heart.

3. Others. “I would say all of above and possibly more, happiness is a fleeting feeling and can sometimes be difficult to feel in everyday life, any way to achieve even the smallest of happiness even if it’s from the most simplest things is good in my book.”

Borderline of "Cheating" - Absolutely, not allowed!

1. Holding hands

2. Meeting eyes

3. Others. “Depends on the circumstances” :P

-End

What would you do once Obey Me! Reaches to the end?

Cry, that would be my thirteen reason why, I wouldn’t be able to handle it, AND ILL KEEP THE ANSWER SHORT TO NOT THINK ABOUT IT. 😔😭

Well I think that’s enough questions to answer! I hope the questionnaires give you a little insight about me. This year I do hope to be more active and post just a bit more the i have from last year. And for those who made this far let me know what your responses are for the B’s Log questionnaire! Happy New Year to everyone, and may you be blessed to a wonderful year! ☺️💕

[good-beanswrites]

I DM'd you a passage from the tarot cards fic. Director's commentary, please? ^_^

Ahh this was so fun, thank you so much!! Overexplaining details in a scene my beloved >:3

I wrote all my headcanons and assumptions as if they're facts to save myself from adding "I like to think" to the beginning of every sentence, but just know that I'm aware they don't have canon backing lol. Also my commentary mentions Fuuta and Mikoto's relationship, but the whole fic is pretty vague with it. I love keeping things at the stage of comfortable kindness, where it's easy for the reader to take things both platonically and romantically depending on what headcanons they're bringing to it. It's not necessarily catering to readers since I enjoy both interpretations -- I wrote it with both in mind, and I'll reread it differently depending on the day.

(From What's that Yugioh quote about cards)

“I'm doing this to show you how these readings are just crap. Now. First card.” [Fuuta] flipped it without any of the theatrics Mikoto had enjoyed. “Hm.” He squinted at the strange picture and read the title. “We’ve got a Four of Cups.” 

Fuuta kind of did want to cheer Mikoto up, but doesn’t like how sentimental it sounds to think of it like that. Even if he did admit to himself that’s what he was doing, he wouldn’t know how to comfort him in a nice way, so he’s just picking a distracting activity and hoping it works. Also this spread was actually drawn by me irl! I had to modify one card in Fuuta’s (not telling which one though, hehe). I did consider having Mikoto draw the Hanged Man as his last card, but that felt too forced and cheesy lol

“Reversed Four of Cups,” Mikoto said before turning his gaze to the ceiling. 

“Reversed? It’s right side up to you.”

“You’re doing a reading for me?”

“Duh?” 

It might seem obvious that Fuuta was doing a reading for him given the setup/dialogue, but from Mikoto’s pov, no one’s ever done that before. In all the years he’s been doing tarot, people really just focus on their own future and how to learn tarot for their own activities. No one’s thought to do a reading for him. He’s more surprised than touched right now, though, because of how tired he is. It’ll really hit him later that night, when he realizes that this was the first time someone did that for him. 

Mikoto bit back a comment that he should have gotten to touch the cards, if that were the case. He didn’t feel like getting into it with Fuuta right now, no matter how playful a matter it may be.

Mikoto (and Yuno) are the type who don’t take Fuuta's attitude personally. They can enjoy the back-and-forth of bickering for hours without it exhausting them. Even though Mikoto didn’t experience much during the interrogation, he’d be emotionally tired out in general. Plus, I picture the process of extracting videos to be physically taxing. Something that invades and activates your neurons would definitely leave you pretty wiped afterwards. (<- girl who has too many thoughts about how the mv machine works but will spare you the explanation)

“So… it looks like in the past… you had a lot of cups… and got a weird one from the sky. Are you religious?”

“Huh? Not really.”

“Not God then. I don’t fucking know where it came from. Maybe it’s a ‘life gives you lemons’ thing. You got too much on your plate?”

Mikoto stayed silent.

I messed myself up in this upcoming section because I was too excited about figuring out the card meanings in relation to Mikoto. I should have just looked at them as they were and guessed the meanings the way that Fuuta might. It was difficult having just read this card’s specific meaning and then trying to put myself in the shoes as someone who didn’t know it😂 I left and came back to this section a lot, I wrote the fic over a few months in between other things. It helped dull my memory on the actual meaning and get into Fuuta's character more.

Also I’m adding “life gives you lemons” to the list of phrases I use in my fics knowing it’s an English phrase/idiom they definitely wouldn't use, but I liked its exact connotation so I kept it in. It's cliche and informal and someone like Fuuta would be sick of hearing it from adults. He'd know Mikoto feels the same. I debated on giving Fuuta more lines about religion here – I do think he’s starting to consider it more at this point in time – but decided it brought the fic too off-course from where I wanted it.

“Whatever. Next card… the present. This one’s upside down to you. A knight – hey, I got a knight, too, remember?”

Fuuta actually does know that the specific term is “reversed,” Mikoto just said it, but doesn’t want to seem like he cares so he doesn't use the term. Still, he doesn’t really know how being reversed changes the meaning, so he interprets the picture normally. 

Mikoto blinked. He did remember – he was shocked that Fuuta did. That reading had ended on such a sour note all those months ago. He didn’t think the other had given it another moment of thought. There came the tiniest surge of pride that Fuuta had committed it to memory.

I wanted to play around more with memory here but could never get it to work!!! Fuuta doesn’t really have any themes around memory so it wasn’t that notable that he remembered. Mikoto’s memory has holes specifically around stressful events, so it’s not impressive he remembered, either. So… despite having the perfect opportunity to talk about cool insights/emotions, it simply wasn’t a big deal -_- It still works to reveal that they both care a lot about each other, which is why I left it as is. It was a brief moment months ago, but both held onto the memory all this time.

“Damn, another cup. Well, if it does mean life keeps throwing stupid shit at you, then yeah, this prison has been the stupidest shit of them all.”

Fuuta picked up the final card. He let out a laugh. It was something mocking, but it tickled Mikoto. “Heh, you sure are a fool. That’s some outfit. Still better than yours right now.” He flicked the card at Mikoto’s chest, where it bounced off his mangled uniform. 

As someone who is completely endeared by Fuuta’s awful laugh, I think Mikoto wouldn’t mind either if it sounded teasing/cruel. Especially after all the pain Fuuta’s been through T2, Mikoto probably didn’t hear him laugh in a very long time, and the sound can be contagious. I always wonder about Mikoto's uniform... was like that from his fight with Kotoko, or just from John wrecking his room? Is it like that all of T2, or does Es gives him a replacement? I felt like he would be cleaned up by the time his interrogation rolled around, but his album art is just as much of a mess, so I guess ratty uniform it is...

Mikoto retrieved the card. He sat up as he returned it to the spread. He studied them. 

Mikoto was enjoying Fuuta’s version of the cards, but didn’t have the energy to read them along with him. This is the first time he taps into his own knowledge of the tarot meanings and realizes what a good spread it actually is. I wanted to linger here in this moment more, but everything I wrote became too “telling.” As the fic was from Mikoto’s pov, I felt like I’d need to take the reader through what he was thinking about in the silence. That ended up defeating the purpose of the peaceful moment lol

He allowed himself a small smile. “So,” he asked, “what’s it all mean?”

Fuuta scowled. “I just told you what it meant.”

“No, now you look at the big picture.” Mikoto shook his head. “You left before I could finish your reading, but you’re supposed to look at everything together and make a plan for the future. I… I still remember yours. I was going to tell you to mind your emotions, and prepare for a big change coming quickly. But uh…” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Guess it’s a little late for that, huh?”

“A little.”

Once again wishing I could do more with memory given that Mikoto still remembers Fuuta’s exact reading after so many months, and once again leaving it as a testament to his relationship with Fuuta. I can only hope it speaks for itself when looking at the fic normally ;--; I still haven’t decided if that last line from Fuuta should be read as an angry snap or a disappointed whisper. He’s still very bitter about his situation, and the fact that Mikoto is telling him to ‘mind his emotions’ and reminding him of his pain are enough to make him lash out. At the same time, maybe bringing it all up makes him recognize that his hot temper did caused him harm, several times. He can hear how genuinely Mikoto speaks, and feels guilty for treating him so harshly then. I go back and forth depending on my own mood…

“So, to finish off my reading, what advice do you give me based on these?” 

Fuuta made a show of rolling his eyes and huffing, as if this hadn’t been his idea to begin with.

My favorite way to write Fuuta is having him do something nice, and then immediately get mad at the other person because suddenly he’s embarrassed about it.

 “This is so lame. My advice…?” He jabbed a finger at The Fool. “Don’t do anything fucking stupid in the future.”

I originally wrote out a bit of a longer speech of advice, with Fuuta mentioning how he knows school/work can be overwhelming, and this prison is overwhelming, and not to do anything in the future because there are people relying on him. Fuuta was relying on him. It was a bit vulnerable and finally explicitly mentioned his feelings towards Mikoto. I read it back, heaved a sigh, said “he wouldn’t fucking say that,” and cut it down to just this line 👍I'm not too disappointed, though, since Mikoto can see right through Fuuta (both with his people skills and the fact that Fuuta is very obvious about his emotions). Anything he would have confessed, Mikoto already knows.  

Mikoto looked from him to the cards, then back again.

“...That’s it?”

“What more do you want?” Fuuta raised his voice, and Mikoto found it in him to laugh. 

Mikoto also hasn’t laughed (genuinely) all of T2 :( This one starts off kind of forced – he had to “find it in him” to play along with the way a conversation is supposed to go. But it feels natural once he does, and the next time I mention his attitude he feels “back to his old self.” In this moment he’s considering antagonizing Fuuta by teasing his advice, asking for more, or just poking at his temper. He chooses not to. Instead of avoiding their bickering because he’s tired, he cuts Fuuta a break because he’s really grateful for the kind gesture.

“Alright, alright, I’ll take it.”

[stripedtabbycat]

since I’m rewatching gravity falls rn I thought I’d make a post about my thoughts so far. (I wanted to start on August 31 which is dipper and mabel’s birthday but I ended up starting on September 1 instead. watching 1 episode a night and challenging myself to do the credits code each time)

under a cut because this will probably get long:

first of all this show is so funny. not all the jokes hold up but I really enjoy its sense of humor in general

i remember liking the second season better than the first and not just because it’s more overarching plot-driven, I just think the plot is a little more focused and the characters and their relationships are more solidified

I love seeing the development of Stan bonding with the kids over time. I noticed in “carpet diem” (the season 1 body swap episode) he’s commending dipper (who is really Mabel trying to turn him against dipper) for finally standing up to him and the next episode is the best we see them get along all season. it’s nice but still done in a funny/weird way that fits the show’s tone

dipper and mabel are siblings of all time. I love how clearly the show establishes how well they get along and work together and how often they’re goofin around and having fun at the beginning of episodes and how realistic their teasing and bantering and bickering feels…if you hate on mabel you’re wrong btw

i appreciate that the show doesn’t need to bluntly state the lesson we’re supposed to learn at the end of each episode but still has clear themes for each one. i also like when they kind of have a subverted/parodied version of a typical cartoon moral like in the truth teeth segment of “bottomless pit” when the expected lesson of “sometimes a small lie is okay” turns into “sometimes you have to let your uncle lie to the cops so he doesn’t get arrested for regularly committing tax fraud”

that said sometimes i’m a little :/ at the conclusions of certain episodes. I try not to harp on this bc I think part of what drives the more intense discourse about kids’ cartoons is the idea that they have to be teaching good messages to their target audiences, or at least not teach them harmful ones. I don’t think all kids’ shows should be Wholesome and Morally Edifying but sometimes you’re like. oh this is imparting a particular viewpoint I don’t love

anyway I’m just thinking about how “fight fighters” seems like it’s going to be about how physically fighting over petty relationship jealousy is dumb and immature but instead it kinda comes off like dipper has to learn “you have to fight your own battles” which…idk. I could be misinterpreting

then again I just watched “the love god” which tries to raise the interesting dilemma of “is it right/okay to meddle in others’ relationships [using magic or not] if they genuinely end up happier?” but given all the baggage around using love potions in fiction you can tell they had to walk that back a little in journal 3. I don’t think the element of “it actually wears off after a few hours” would have undermined the question too much but whatevs.

(i will say that stan in dreamscaperers saying he's hard on dipper to toughen him up kind of gets questioned later when we see the stans' backstory and it's clear their dad was not actually that great of a guy. room for interpretation there too i guess)

another reason I like season 2 better is because the show is finally done with the dipper/wendy crush plot that really dragged down parts of s1 imo. mostly because it felt like dipper had to learn that a relationship between them wasn’t happening a number of times before the show definitively said it and it lead to some of those dubious episode conclusions.

(whenever people claim that mabel was selfish and dipper always had to sacrifice things for her sake I just think…most of the time what he was “sacrificing” was a chance to impress wendy or spend more time with her, and I feel like this is more a problem with that aspect of the show than anything else)

(ALSO when people say there are too many "mabel's crush of the week" subplots - i never really got that impression? when she's going over her failed summer romances i realized there were only like, 4 episodes up to then where there was a plot about her liking a guy and it didn't feel overdone to me. however that's also why i was disappointed with her part of "northwest manor mystery" because i thought we were done with that. i guess they figured she and pacifica had already had their bonding episode in "the golf war" but i still wish she got to be involved with the main plot in that episode, even if i mostly liked it. kind of felt like the writers couldn't think of anything else for her to do)

anyway back to positive thoughts! I really appreciate the show’s creativity with the supernatural elements especially when they need a way to do a standard fantasy cartoon trope. need to shrink the characters down to miniature size? crystals that change the size of things that get caught in the light they refract! need to do a body swap? how about a carpet that swaps your electrons when you static shock someone? time travel? the time machine is in the form of a tape measure. they can get pretty outside of the box and it’s always cool

i also like the balance of humor and (kid-friendly) horror it engages in. there are a number of moments throughout the show that seem like a sudden intrusion of sheer horror but because of their suddenness and (relative) over-the-top nature they’re also really funny. I’m thinking of dipper opening the convenience store freezer and seeing a horrifying brain monster, the summerween trickster eating a kid, bill cipher summoning “a head that’s always screaming” and its skin peeling off (or like. anything he does in that episode), a lot of moments from the shorts like the island head in “the tooth” or the ending of “lefty”…

this show is i think a lot of people's first experience with a cartoon that has overarching continuity and encourages the viewers to analyze it for clues to the greater plot and i love how it does that. also love how it still works as a show even if you're not actively looking for clues to the mystery. they knew full well how much the fandom was engaging with it and both the show and supplementary material are just chock-full of details that really reward repeat viewings in a way that very few other children's shows do.

i did a pretty good job keeping track of the end credits codes in season 1 but by season 2 i had to just look up on the wiki what the vigènere key words were because i don't have the time to scour the whole episode for those sorry. especially when they get more and more hidden throughout the season. i'm still proud of myself for figuring out how to decode those messages using the grid of all the letters though

i think i first caught up with this show right when "not what he seems" was airing and now that's next up on the schedule. it's a very different experience watching the episodes all in a row and not having to wait at least two weeks between each one lol. on the plus side it gave the fans plenty of time to pick over every episode and theorize like hell

final thoughts: i love that a disney channel kids' cartoon devoted an entire extra-long episode to the surprisingly realistic and sad backstory of the main kid characters' great-uncles, one of whom had mostly been a comedic side character for the first season, and it's fantastic. once i'm done with this i cannot wait to get my hands on the book of bill

[itisineffabledarling]

Good Omens Book Quote #1

This is one of my favorite quotes from @neil-gaiman 's and #TerryParchett 's book Good Omens. It is about my favorite angel, Aziraphale and it goes as follows:

"Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these were wrong; Heaven is not in England, whatever certain poets may have thought, and angels are sexless unless they really want to make an effort. But he was intelligent. And it was an angelic intelligence which, while not being particularly higher than human intelligence, is much broader and has the advantage of having thousands of years of practice.

Aziraphale was the first angel ever to own a computer. It was a cheap, slow, plasticky one, which touted as ideal for the small businessman. Aziraphale used it religiously for doing his accounts, which were so scrupulously accurate that the tax authorities had inspected him five times in deep belief that he was getting away with murder somewhere.

But these other calculations were a kind no computer could ever do. Sometimes he would scribble something on a sheet of paper by his side. It was covered in symbols which only eight other people in the world would have been able to comprehend; two of them had won noble prizes, and the other one of the other six dribbled a lot and wasn't allowed anything sharp because of what he might do with it."

--Neil Gaiman/Terry Pratchett "Good Omens" Pg. 194

This quoted passage says more about Aziraphale and his intelligence in a uniquely subtextual way. It suggests Aziraphale is brilliant in accounting and statistics, one of the hardest mathematical subjects to learn, understand, and comprehend, while also stating one of the very few, and/or only modern thing(s) in his bookshop is a computer most likely dating back to the late 1980s or early 1990s.

It's also particularly humorous that any tax authority agents could think that Aziraphale, a literal Angel (though they don't know it), could possibly be "getting away with a murder somewhere" due to his too-perfect tax records and brilliant accounting skills.

This book is an amazing, well-written masterpiece and an insanely good read. I laughed heartily several times while reading the book. All the characters are marvelous, funny, surreal, and easy to connect with. The story is fantastical, zany, fun, comedic, and surreal. It's a beautiful reminder that everything we hold dear could be gone instantly if an apocalyptic event wasn't adverted, though thankfully it was adverted with the help of love and friendship.

[wow-its-me]

Alright Mutant Mayhem post, I just got back from the movies so these takes are are all of my first un unfiltered thoughts

SPOILERS AHEAD

First off the animation style : Absolutely Amazing,

Very claymation like, and although I see the comparison to Spiderverse, I think it’s completely unique,

If anything it reminds me of The Mitchell’s Vs The Machines

Next the cast : Absolutely Amazing

The way the characters had so much energy and just bounced off of each other. The kids that voiced the turtles really did great, everything they said felt very natural, and like teenagers actually talk. It was A LOT of pop culture references, but while a little cringey, none of them felt forced.

I absolutely LOVED this version of April and she’s currently fighting IDW April for the “best april” spot in my head. Again Ayo did a great job and I can’t imagine anyone else in the role. A fresh take while still being true to the character

And of course Splinter carried the movie. Jackie Chan was incredible as always, and this is splinter is truly the best dad. He was really just looking out for his sons, and doing anything and everything he could to make them both safe and happy.

I’m never going to get over Paul Rudd as Mondo Gecko

And Natasia Demetriou was perfect (hearing her definitely through me off guard though, just cause I’m a wwdits fan, and I though her being the bat was very silly)

Overall thoughts :

If anything I found myself a bit distracted through the movie. Getting caught up comparing things to the TMNT I already know. Learning to accept that while, similar this one’s different, a new take on a beloved series.

I wasn’t comparing it as “worse or better” but seeing the similarities to certain comic issues and runs, and assuming that I knew what was going to happen based off of those. Super fly is just like Hob, Cynthia Utrom is Bishop, ect.

And while those comparisons are both interesting and fun, I was getting too into it, and overlooking what THIS movie was trying to do and say (which is a problem that I think a lot of comics fans run into)

OK critiques : I tend to be nit-picky but I only have a few this time

The Mutanimals,,,, (that what I’m calling them here y’know who I mean) their were ALOT OF THEM and I feel like they all weren’t utilized in the film, and used to cast stars who would only have a couple lines, and probably sell more toys (which, let’s be honest, is the biggest reason TMNT exists now)

Bebop and Rocksteady didn’t really do anything, I swear Leatherhead had two lines, I completely forgot about Ghengis Frog, Rey Fillet was literally just Post, and the only ones who felt like real characters were Mondo Gecko and Wingnut (and I might be bias cause I love them) and slug lady???

The way they almost immediately turned on superfly, their older brother, who was clearly like a father to them, with no hesitation?? One second their down for mass murder, and the next their helping the turtles???

Their actors and designs were cool, but the movie was only 1:35 or something, I feel like a bit more character development for them could’ve been put in

The timeline? Also a bit confusing, and implies that every mutant other than Splinter, Slug Lady, and Superfly is 15. Which I don’t think is true.

But all of the Mutanimals were shows to be babies/toddlers in the 15 year flashback?? And they all seemed like infants in Stockmans lab (other than superfly whose a couple years older) and older slug lady would’ve been tiny anyway

But I just got a little confused

And lastly the ENDING :

I really didn’t think they’d actually make it to highschool!! This is honesty super interesting and opens up the story for a lot of new plots and takes, doing things that the turtles could never do in previous iterations. It makes me very excited for what could come next for them

Their in the real world

People know them

They could have actual futures

(I’m very curious to how taxes and stuff work for splinter now, but I doubt it’ll ever get into that)

AND THE SHREDDER TEASE

Very hyped for what’s coming next, left the theater ranting to my sister about how I hope Karai will be in the next one too.

And with the backstory loosing that tie to the Foot, I’m really wondering how things will go down

And worried for how underprepared they are for someone like shredder

[theangryjikooker]

Hmmm the current situation has me in a weird mood. Not sure why I’m sending this! I really like your blog and I saw many people sharing their views.

Is that weird if even though I have always described myself as a jikooker/supporter/whatever, some part of me hope the rumor about Jk having someone is true while another part don’t? I don’t know if anyone can relate but what I mean is, I’ve always had some doubts, but I liked shipping them and somehow hoped they’re a thing because I’m a romantic at heart and they seem like a good match. Amazing chemistry, they’re so cute together and many questioning moments. They’re both my biases also. But at the same time I’m totally aware that I’m sometimes a bit too invested and wasting too much time online over this? Scrolling down social media, interacting with other Jikookers… it’s not like I spend days on end over it but lately I’ve been feeling guilty about it. I have so many different hobbies in life but I tend to hyper fixate. It’s sooo annoying because rather than spending time reading blogs on Tumblr I could go read more or invest way more time on learning Korean, among other things. I thought eventually learning about them being potentially involved with someone else would disturb me because of the bit of time I invested in the ship but surprisingly… not really. As long as they’re happy, I don’t really care. Which was not the reaction I was expecting from myself, to be honest. It seems like I’m making progress hahaha. It’s like right now I’d like a "confirmation" because I’m really intrigued and way too curious and at the same time I could close this chapter and move on (the shipping part I mean, I’ll still support Jikook’s bond whatever it is and BTS as a whole). But I know I’ll miss shipping for fun and coming here to scroll the tag! It probably means I should take some distance though. But I’m so curious I know this is going to itch me like crazy! What the heck should I do what is this mess xD

PS: I agree with last anon. This video should not have happened but from the pov of the person behind it, why not showing them kissing or something that leaves no doubt behind? That’d be pretty clear and shut deniers mouth (well, for the most part, we know some are delusional anyway). Weird.

All valid!

I joked earlier on—really early on—that I hoped some news would come out regarding their individual dating life just so there’s an end to the debate because regardless of what side of the camp you’re on, being inundated with discourse is mentally taxing.

I just didn’t take into account that I’d also be affected if “news” actually did come out. It’s not an intense feeling for me at all, but I like having a reason to dissect things with a critical eye for fun, and having a stake in those opinions. Maybe I should redirect my efforts into getting a PhD for shits and giggles to occupy my time. 😂

[roffmychest]

I’m secretly jealous of my boyfriend. His parents were very supportive of him. They paid for him to have driving lessons. They all pulled their resources together to pay for his college. They also taught him life skills growing up that mine never bothered to teach me, like how to do taxes, apply for a job, sign, a lease, budget, build a résumé, and schedule appointments. Things like that.

 My parents had a very sink or swim mentality. They are all about survival of the fittest. They don’t believe in teaching children this kind of thing, it’s something they have to figure out for themselves. My parents believed that teaching a child things like this would be cheating the system, spoiling the child and fostering a sense of weakness and entitlement.

I have what I call adult baby syndrome. I have a job, I have my own apartment, but I don’t have a car or driver’s license and I’ve been on my own for a couple of years. I also don’t have a college education. While my dad had a trust, fun, set aside for me my mother blew all of it after I died. She thought that since I got diagnosed with autism shortly after his death that I wasn’t even smart enough to make it school in spite of having perfect grades.

She thought the college of been a waste of time and money so she blew it online expensive vacations.  When I brought up, wanting to learn how to drive, she wouldn’t hear of it. She said she knew that if I wanted to learn how to drive or go to college I had to pay for it myself, but wouldn’t even allow me to get a part-time job because of the damn autism diagnosis.

This woman has treated me like I was brain dead ever since I got diagnosed. Another thing she wouldn’t allow me to do because of the diagnosis was learn how to cook. She thought that I wasn’t smart enough to be trusted with operating the stove. Thank God my roommate is really into cooking - she taught me everything I know and now I’m actually pretty decent at it.

I probably shouldn’t have moved out at all but as my mom got older, she became physically and mentally abusive and I couldn’t take it anymore. Nobody took what she was doing seriously anyway so it wasn’t like I had a place to go. 

My parents would consider my boyfriend spoiled for the support he got but I wish that they had  treated me the same way that his parents treated him. I feel like he got a good head start. Meanwhile, my parents believed that doing anything more than providing your kid with food and shelter (which could be withdrawn as a punishment at any time) would be spoiling them.

.

[ocean-anchored]

Dear Future Self... June 13, 2023

I’ve been procrastinating hard.  I don’t know why, it’s not like life hasn’t been good, I think I’ve just been on a high and go go go the last several months that I don’t spend too much time sitting and thinking. Allowing myself to fully feel out my thoughts, to process or anything. I have these quick thoughts that come in and pass through. I think of things that I want to make note of and write for my update but it’s like a sentence, it’s not an emotion. It’s not deep, it’s just as though I’m writing out an event or something that happened rather than the emotion behind how I felt.  Anywhoo. Vegas won tonight! I watched the game and they absolutely destroyed. What an amazing team and season, they totally deserved it and I’m so stoked for them. Work has been going well. It’s been slow and not busy with Danny’s side, I haven’t been working too much honestly but I’m trying to now with some extra time to accumulate hours and keep the income. I paid my taxes for last year which was just under $3K which wasn’t too bad. I created a Business Number today and now have to figure out how to get a GST number next. Work with Ed has been great still. Learning a lot and things are always changing which keeps me on my toes. The direction is endless, there’s so many ways and routes and channels he’s going but I still thoroughly enjoy it and am really blessed to be working for him. I want to spend a little more time in listening and understanding the things he’s teaching. Our last friday training lunch was about Self, Other and Context as well as the OD/Work Culture ring he designed about where to fit in, internally or externally. Understanding more on looking at Self, Other and Context to become a better assistant to him and relieve more from his plate. Everything else is going pretty good. Still had been spending a lot of time (most my nights) with Zack. I’m trying to remember the last update I gave.. I don’t know if I really did one much. Amber and Naythan met Zack two weeks ago and then Amber & I went to Jeremiahs for his birthday cocktail night which was fun. Met Daniel another australian that was hilarious. Gray’s birthday party was that sunday which I can’t believe he’s going to be 2 soon. He’s growing up so fast, I made a 2 shape out of cupcakes in a race car track theme which turned out well. Went to the driving range with Abigail last week to practice more golf, Nova turned 5 last Thursday as well. I can’t believe it, she’s my whole world. I spoiled her but she deserved it. Zack was gone that night to Sask, went paddleboarding with Amanda which was nice. It’s been good to spend time with her. We’ve been talking about going to Silverwood theme park. I really want to but part of me also doesn’t, idk why. Zack will probably be gone then anyways because his work is picking up so I won’t see him as much but I just don’t want to have to arrange and pay for Nova care, and even though she said they would “pay” for the hotel etc I don’t want to feel that burden and like I owe them. I know they wouldn’t ever make me feel that way but idk, feels too hard with my work schedule being gone 3 days and having to work nights to catch up. We’ll see, haven’t fully made a decision yet. Last weekend Zack & I helped Amber & Naythan rip down their fence, we also had Senior’s pizza which was absolutely delicious. Saw the new spiderman movie with Steven, amanda and Cloude which was really good. I’ve been getting this weird reaction or allergy to something I’m still trying to source out. I had thought it was syasilic acid face oil but I backed off that, then I thought it was my mascara, now I’m thinking its the SPF bb cream so I stopped using that. Frustrating but the last day has been a bit better and my eyes aren’t fully burning anymore. I haven’t been eating very good lately, nor have I been watching my spendings either. I also just bought a portable cooler humidifier cause its been brutally hot lately and almost unbearable to sleep. Zack and I have just been going out too much, enjoying time together. We’ve spent a lot of time together but we’re at the comfortable point of not feeling like we have to entertain each other, just want to be in the presence of the other which is nice. He really does love me and I can tell. It’s really cute how he can get jealous though, reminds me how much he cares. I still fully trust him. He’s never given me any reason or any red flag to not trust him... like legit he’s so honest and is basically me in a man with values and the importance of honesty and communication etc. Like we’ve had two instances so far with miscommunication. One was when he (oh my side tangent of how I really hate that he got back into smoking.. hope that one dies out soon. we both know he can quit but yuck) had bought cigars for us before canmore and I had made a joke which turned out to not be funny I later realized, about how he should have a lighter for all his cigarettes. He didn’t like that one and I didn’t realize thats what it was about because it was an honest joke and I wasn’t mad. He was silent on that walk, I definitely knew and felt we were off. Came back home and had tried to get him to talked. I remember the feeling, I felt gross. It was literally 2 weeks into us seeing each other just before we went to canmore and I felt miserable, I really thought he hit a switch of not wanting to be with me or something, he was so distant. I finally got him to talk cause we went outside (I get it that he felt uncomfortable with Bob in the other room & wanted privacy) and then we easily just talked about it that it was a trigger and he thought I was mad at him for some reason and my “joke” wasn’t funny which we so easily communicated after to clear things up. It was actually right after that.. I remember exactly, we were about to walk back inside and he hugged me and said he was worried about his past, he was worried that I would think of him differently and hold something against him in a way? I said “who you were before I met you is a past version of yourself, I’ve fallen for who you are today, who you are right now” and he looked at me and said I love you. Precious. Ill remember that moment forever. Anyways, second “miscommunication” was a few weeks after that (I make it sound like its far a part but we’ve literally only been together for like 6-7 weeks. A month and like a week or whatever). He was going to come over, he was super tired from work an said it would be a little bit and I said to let me know & that I was going to Newcastle to watch the Knights game till he was ready to come. Anyways, turned out that he kept pushing coming over and then said he was too tired, we didn’t really go to bed the best way, neither of us slept much and when we talked about it the day after he thought that was me saying that I wanted the night away from him by going to the pub, he didn’t know i went alone haha, but he thought I went with Cody and wanted time away from him as well as being anxious about work and stressed. We talked it through just as easy. Past that there’s been no communication issues. He’s just straight up. It’s honestly so different than Richardt.. or even anyone for that matter. Like the other week when he was away and I stayed up super late for his facetime but he never did, I admit i sent a slightly passive aggressive text at 3am when I woke up and his morning text was saying he thought I fell asleep because he called me and I didn’t answer. He even showed me after that he did try to call so idk why it didn’t come through then and he made a point that he’ll text next time. I didnt even have to ask that which is stupid and basic but just really refreshing how honest he is and how much he does try and put in effort. Hes been gone since yesterday morning and he’s made efforts to text and facetime me. He won’t be back till friday or saturday I think which sucks man. I miss him a lot. He always makes me feel so damn special though. Tells me every day how pretty I am and makes me feel like I’m the only one. He’s so easy to talk to. Like easy to feel that he can be that best friend, that kind of relationship you always want. He always makes me laugh, we have such a playful side but we still have serious conversations. Ive met a few of his friends and his coworker now. It’s actually funny how many people have told him how lucky he is to have me and how he needs to hold onto me. Like legit there must be at least 10-12 people so far, half being total strangers that we’ve talked to that have told him that, which is great for me lol. Solidifies my confidence. Man I miss him so much and it’s been not even 48 hours. Sure there’s some things that I wish like his craving for smoking again and hes very aware of how much he drinks and how much is too much but I know he enjoys drinking, I’ve enjoyed it too and I always enjoy our time out, though I’m thankful for how aware he is about all of that. Like honestly his self awareness with most things is just so attractive. It’s so refreshing and really makes for that extra layer of relationship. He hit it off with Amber and Naythan so well too, which I knew because he’s just like Naythan but it’s funny how much he talks around them which is great. We’re so on point with goals and our future too which just keeps making me question or wondering if what he’s saying is true. How much he wants to travel which is such a big part of who I am and what I desire. How important family is but understanding all aspects of what having kids entails. Like with Travis all he cared or said was he wanted kids and a family. Even when we just barley were getting by on bills and life, no savings, nothing that would support or create a healthy life and future for kids, nor even any regard for understanding the intensity and responsibility of having kids. More of the “lets just have them and figure it out” sense but Zack is so different, obviously because he has a daughter of his own so that’s a massive understanding but to be on the same page of understanding is just so nice. And his love for Nova just warms my heart, its almost like he loves her as much as I do, but he also has made comments about how he can see how much I love her and care for her which is nice. He does notice the details and the little things. Again such a huge difference especially from Richardt. Like what Zack knows about me and who I am and what I’ve come from is literal night and day to Richardt, who I was seeing for friggin what, almost 5 months? I’ve been seeing Zack for just over a month and he knows me 100x better and deeper and has put in 100x more effort. He lives in Airdrie and yet still makes continuous points to ensure that we’re both equal and that I’m still doing things I want to do, he’s always asking me what I want. Anyways, I’m getting tired and I need to text Zack to tell him how much I miss him now before bed. I do keep saying but I wanted to get better at writing and not missing all the little things. Writing more emotion in my posts of reflecting. I know I posted a note a few weeks ago probably before my last update which was from that night of when I went to Newcastle and Zack didn’t end up coming over and our miscommunication and it’s still good to write that out. I was in fear and I was feeling so vulnerable and it’s ok. What’s different from that versus what and how I used to write these posts about Richardt or even Travis was the mere fact that what I was writing was red flags. I was silently acknowledging the issues and hoping that they would resolve over time rather than seeing it was a flag that hey this isn’t a good thing and won’t necessarily change. Whereas with Zack it’s my fear of loosing him and being vulnerable and hurt again. I don’t actually believe he would hurt me and I trust him 100.  More to come... as well as getting back into shadow work... also really want to pick that back up again. Catch ya in a week.. or two.

[jjeremysstash]

The Tangara, and why I bought one

You might have seen the Crowd Supply link for the Tangara going around and thought "damn that's cool, but it's hella expensive". And well... Yeah it kinda is, during my search I've found three other touchscreen-less mp3 players ranging from 75€ to 130€. (Those, however, rapidly got nuked from my list since one has a really low storage limit, another had the brand using genAI and another had the previous USB system).

The Tangara is around 250$, plus 18$ of shipping and 50$ of taxes. A nice 320$ total, which is around 295€. More than twice the price of the most expensive mp3 player I've found on amazon. (and aouch my wallet.)

-

"An iPod is cheaper" well... Let's go through it, yeah?

An iPod, in France at least, is around 150€ if you want one in a good enough state, with cables and more than 30Go of storage (and have the sellers answer you). If you want an USB-C and Bluetooth, add 140€ (without shipping costs) for a solder-less kit. If you want to add a bigger storage, you'll have to spend at least 50€.

If you buy it already modded, with USB-C and Bluetooth, then it will be from 350€ to 570€ BEFORE SHIPPING.

And even then, once you've done all that, you'll still have to hack it and install a firmware like RockBox to be able to control storage above whichever max storage your iPod originally had (because of the hardware limitations).

Choosing an iPod is complicated because you have to check exactly which gen you need, and even then there are differences. It's a whole ass mess, and if you don't want to/can't solder, then you'll have to spend even more.

The Tangara? Everything is already in there and there are virtually no storage limit, you just need an SDXC card formatted properly. It was made with the goal of being easily fixable and customizable. The price of 250$ is definite. Bluetooth? It has it. 3.5mm jack? It has it. USB-C? It has it. Not just that, but it also has the entirety of its code hosted on Codeberg, all the 3D files for 3D printing a new case if you so wish, and people have already made modifications to it.

So by looking at it, the Tangara is better on the long run than an iPod.

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"But Jeremy, the Tangara isn't a finished product, who would want to buy it?" well, didn't we all spend 60 bucks for ANCH, which wasn't a finished product?

Also, while it might not be a finished product software-wise (they haven't, for example, done anything about the Wi-Fi functionality yet), 1. the code is accessible by everyone so if you know how to code in C++ and Lua then go have fun, and 2. it is ACTIVELY being updated, and that by following what the customer needs (on top of following the different projects they already had.

The thing is that the Tangara is a project on Crowd Supply, which is like Kickstarter, but better. Crowd Supply has mad filtering of projects, and only accept projects who are already in the last phases and almost ready to ship. This means that they trust the people behind the project and the quality of said project.

If you need other elements about it, know that the team, CoolTechZone, have their own Tangara that they use on the daily. Not just that but, since we're on the "queer website", of the 5 people on the team, I'm pretty they're all queer and that at least 2 of them are also trans.

-

So, in itself, the Tangara is an investment. You might not buy a finished product, but you are buying an easily customizable music player.

The case is held together by four screws on each side, so easily removable if you break it, you can 3D print it easily AND CUSTOMIZE THE 3D PRINT, and the original case is apparently very easily dyeable. Not just that, but it's also using C++ and Lua, so you can make the themes you want if you know those coding language. (and Lua was created to be more easily to learn and manage)

It's also easily fixable, since every single parts can be bought by anyone (someone even made their own Tangara by themselves before the first batch was even sent).

Yes you have to format your SD card properly beforehand and yes you have to plug it in your PC and put it through the firmware updater, but it's not something new nor bothersome (you already went through the trouble of sorting your entire music collection anyway).

-

So why did I bought a Tangara?

First of, I wanted a dedicated device for my music, but the basic mp3 players don't have enough storage (only a few gigas and I'm already at 25 with only mp3s and a few FLACs).

Second of, if I were to have a dedicated device, I wanted it to be small and easy to use, and to have buttons. But most recent music players are just wifi only smartphone and that's a complete garbage take, like I can just keep my phone at that point, even if the DAC makes the sound better, it's still a second phone.

Third of, while I don't mind the bluetooth, I still wanted to have a 3.5mm jack on my device.

And of the iPod classic, the three amazon music players and the Tangara, the Tangara was the only one with everything I wanted, and having even a few things more.

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I'm not going to tell you to go buy a Tangara, especially considering the price and the slight need to be able to understand tech.

But also don't go judge it badly solely based on the price. It's not a mass-produced device (the team only has five people) and it's made to last.

An interesting point is that, during my search of people talking about it in more detail, I haven't seen anyone regret buying it.

For more, go check out those two videos.

[knowyourbmovieactors]

OCTOBER HORROR MOVIES 2024 (DVD EDITION) #11 THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE

Did you ever watch The Exorcist and think, "This is pretty good, but what if half of this movie was a ponderous courtroom drama?" Well, The Exorcism of Emily Rose is the answer you've been waiting for! A young girl has died during an exorcism, and the priest who performed it is now on trial for murder. Get set for terror as the defense ruthlessly cross examines an expert witness! Recoil in horror as someone says, "Objection!" Feel the suspense as you wait for the the spooky verdict.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose is very loosely based on the book "The Exorcism of Anneliese Michel", which was written about an actual case where a young woman died while undergoing a sanctioned Catholic exorcism, which is how the producers can claim with a straight face that this film is "based on a true story". In real life, Anneliese Michel was diagnosed with multiple mental disorders, but after several years of treatment, her extremely religious family decided that she was actually demonically possessed. A pair of priests held her bound in her bedroom and performed 67 exorcism rituals on her, which resulted in poor Anneliese dying of malnutrition and dehydration. It was a tragic and horrible example of ignorance and superstition trumping all reason and empathy, and a jury agreed with me. Anneliese's parents and the two priests were convicted of negligent homicide, and the local diocese that approved the exorcism quickly retracted its bold assessment that she had been possessed by a demon.

The producers, screenwriters, and director of The Exorcism of Emily Rose talked a lot about how this movie is supposed to present the story ambiguously, as if you are supposed to walk away wondering if the possession was real or not. However, the filmmaking contradicts that assertion. Every flashback of Emily's possession and exorcism is dramatically staged with special effects that very clearly indicate that all of this is real. We are presented with multiple different characters other than Emily seeing and being harassed by supernatural entities. Despite their protestations, the filmmakers didn't leave it ambiguous at all. They also added a postscript to the film about what happened to the characters afterward, further trying to drive home that the things in this movie were real.

This bugs me, not just because a real person died horribly and the filmmakers treat it like it's a fun thought experiment; but also because there was actually a German film based on the same incident that was made at about the same time (Requiem) that truly does leave the situation ambiguous. Eschewing special effects, dramatic music, and all the other American filmmaking tricks that litter Emily Rose, it truly does leave the audience in a state of not knowing, which is more profoundly interesting and unsettling. Requiem won several awards and received much better reviews, while the producers of Emily Rose were bummed that it "only" made $144 million against its $20 million budget.

The technical aspects of the film are all fine. Tom Wilkinson as the priest and Laura Linney as his agnostic defense attorney are both good in their roles, and Jennifer Carpenter does some fantastic work as Emily Rose. She did much of the extreme possession contortion for real, and making this movie almost definitely shaved a few years off of the full functioning of her joints. It proved to be her breakout role, though, as the following year she would land the lead role in the very good Quarantine and wind up as Dexter's sister in the both very good and very bad series Dexter.

THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE DVD EXTRAS -Director and co-writer Scott Derrickson says he first heard of Anneliese Michel's story from a cop who "specializes in researching demons", just in case you're worried about how police departments are spending your tax dollars.

-Derrickson also claims that he read "over 2,000 books" on demons and possession before he started writing, which I absolutely do not believe.

-The production crew looked at Francis Bacon paintings in order to decide the color palette of the possession scenes, which once again plays hard against the assertion that they're presenting something ambiguous here.

-The effects team shows off the two different full scale audio-animatronic puppets that they made of Jennifer Carpenter, and they are astounding examples of the incredible work that effects designers did before CGI steamrolled their industry. This is immediately followed by Jennifer Carpenter saying that there were "hardly any special effects" in the movie.

[adore-gregor]

Seeing your posts really motivates me to try taking up tennis 😊😊 But the truth is, it's a bit intimidating for me. I have no idea where I'm supposed to start. I'm also not a very athletic person either :( And I don't know if I can afford private "lessons" with a tennis coach. Can you tell me about your own experience with taking up tennis? And some basic first things to know? Like do i have to sign up for a club? How do i find one? Do i need to buy my own equipment and such?

This makes me so happy to hear! 😁😊

I get that, but i feel like trying sth. for the first time is intimidating for everyone. :)

Well I don't think that's a problem when you just start playing tennis as a beginner. At first the bigger challenge will be to be able to hit the ball accross the net with some control a couple of times, rather than your endurance. Rallies won't last long and with most beginners their shots are still slow, therefore it won't be that taxing. :) I'd say by improving your tennis skills and simply playing so will your fitness level. But you could also go running or do something on the side like biking to help with that if you want to.

Also let me tell you I even have some teammates who are not that athletic who play in the league so it's really not that much of a problem. In tennis it's a lot about how well you can move the ball to make your opponent run more, so if you have the skill you often can get away with it. Of course it's more difficult against someone very athletic and fast but for the start definitely not an issue and definetly not if you just play for fun. 🙈

A private coach is very recommendable but not necessarily a must. You could also ask some higher level tennis players who play for a club/compete, if you know any, if they could teach you for free as they usually have good technique and hopefully are also alright at teaching.

I would also be happy to help with that but i'm just assuming you probably live somewhere far away so.😅 I mean it's definetly helpful to get the technique right from the beginning but you also learn from playing or instruction videos can be helpful too ig.

My experience:

I started playing when I was 14 years old, with coaching lessons right away. I got into the sport as a friend of mine played and at first we always used to play in the garden without a net 😆 and yeah i found it fun so I gave it a go. I joined the club in my town (the only one) as there was no other and no free option. About two year after I was invited in the women's team as they thought I was somewhat talented ig and by now I have been playing tennis for almost 10 years and i'm competing for my club.

And yeah my parents payed for my lessons as I was still very young back then. That my mom also picked up tennis shortly after certainly helped with her supporting my love for the sport. She is actually good at tennis herself and also plays for the team, she also always gets quite a few points of me, which many of my other teammates can't. My dad also played tennis.😄

But yeah I finance my private lessons partly with my own money from summer jobs and my parents support. The coach I regulary play with charges 20€ an hour and another coach who trained us as a team 40€. The 2nd one is like a really well known and highly valued one in my area and trained with some atp players when he was younger, so like a really good player but didn't quite cut it to become pro. So yeah it isn't cheap.

But what I would advice take group lessons, it's much more affordable as the price is split. So I would recommend this to save money.😊

I usually have team training once a week for the most part of the year and I used to take individual lessons once a week on top of that. But not right now because i'm busy.

Regarding clubs: it's helpful to meet people to play with because it can be difficult to find someone. Also it's much cheaper to pay a yearly fee for a club if you pay regulary than pay extra each time. But if you live in a city there might be free courts, idk this is at least the case where i live and maybe also some networks for tennis players to connect, i think there are apps for that. You can find clubs on the internet.

Equipment: you can rent but again buying is cheaper in the long term. But ofc if you know someone you could also borrow equipment. With rackets I would recommend buying them somewhere you can first try them and with knowledgable consultants. So they can recommend you the right racket because tbh i don't even know see through all the technical aspects of a tennis racket.😅 It's the most expensive piece of equipment and it would suck to get it wrong, some rackets could even lead to overuse pain if they're too heavy for example.

Just some general advice:

Most important is to enjoy playing.^^

I would recommend you to also play matches early on, just for fun. It helps you improve a lot and get used to the nerves of competing. (if you ever want to try that) I wish I had done it way sooner.😅

You will loose a lot at first, I also did but don't let it discourage you. 😇 Tennis is a sport where differences in skill are very clearly visible. Focus more on the improvements you can see in yourself. Results will catch up at some point.

Hope this is helpful and feel free to ask if you have any more questions 🤗🤗 and i hope I didn't discourage you in any way because tennis is a beautiful sport 😉

[siaanme]

So this year I made the questionable decision to try and play (and beat) 52 different video games that I hadn't beaten before.

I managed.

And so I thought I would do a quick little summary of the games I played and what I thought about them.

Knight of the Old Republic - I really enjoyed this game, as I suspected I would since it's one of Sarah's favourites. Despite some early learning difficulties (hey turns out picking the Overload Terminal options when you're at the terminal is Bad actually), I had a great time. At some point I might play it again with a different build. Or maybe I'll find a way to play the sequel with the restored content mod. Point is, I'm a fan.

Li'l Gator Game - This game is just very wholesome and fun. Great characters, great story, fun to run around the world in.

Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart - I'm a huge fan of the Ratchet and Clank games, and this one was my favourite since Tools of Destruction. I don't think it quite reaches the peaks that my favourite entries do, but it's very solid, and at the end of the day, it has fun guns. What more could I want? Oh, other than Rivet getting her own full spinoff. That'd be nice

AI: The Somnium Files: nirvanA Initiative - Uchikoshi you crazy bastard, you did it again. This is one of two games this year I played where I basically had to take a lap after reaching a key twist revelation. Just recontextualising everything. Oh, it's so good.

Tinykin - Very good, Pikmin like vibes, though without any time pressure. Although if I remember, it does have the issue that collectathons often have when you're missing just a few small collectables and no way to easily locate them in game. That always sucks.

Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion - As this was a pretty short game, I don't have a super strong memory of it. I enjoyed it I think, and Turnip Boy destroying everything that had anything to do with money or bills was pretty good, but I don't think it's one I'll go back to

Stray - Game where you get to play as a very well realised kitty, what's not to love? Other than when the kitty gets hurt of course. Also I think I felt it was a bit more of a slog than I expected? Still fun, but another one I probably won't go back to

Theatrhythm Final Bar Line - This is probably one of my most played games this year. I've loved the Theatrhythm games since the first one on the 3DS, and they just keep making more, and having more Final Fantasy (and other Squenix games) music in them! I honestly would keep buying DLC packs if they kept making them. I am part of a problem.

Octopath Traveler 2 - I love me a good RPG, and Octopath 2 is a damn fine RPG. It improves on the formula of the first one a great deal, with plenty of character and class options to play around with. The main issue is that towards the end, some bosses tend to be a bit easier than others, simply because you've probably become overleveled at some point. It makes me wish all RPGs had a level slider, where you could voluntarily undo some of your levels temporarily. This is not the last time I'll have this problem.

Metroid Prime Remaster - Okay, yes, I've played the original before. Many times. One of my favourites games. So why is it on the list? Because it's my list, I get to make the rules, so shut up. Then go play Metroid Prime. It's a classic for a reason.

Superliminal - Very inventive puzzle game, lot of fun twists. I did get a headache from it though, which is something that I find can happen with first person games. Can recommend.

Klonoa: Door to Phantomile - I had previously played the demo for Klonoa 2, but never had a chance to play either of the first two games properly. I'm glad I got the chance to, fun little 2.5D platformers. Though screw going for completion on this. If they didn't have the x2 gem sections, maybe I do it, but with them? Nah.

Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil - Basically take what I said above and repeat it. Though also, I've listened to the soundtrack for Klonoa 2 a lot, so it was fun to finally see the levels the music came from.

Bugsnax - This was an incredibly fun time. I love me a good collecting game, I love inventive creature design, I love body horror... no wait, I don't love that last one. But it's done so well in this it barely registers as body horror. Candy coated body horror. 100% completed this, though I wish I hadn't done some of the letter challenges. Some of those were a bit tedious.

Pyre - Despite being a huge fan of Supergiant games, Pyre was a notable gap in my experience. And while I think it's still the weakest of their games, it's still a really good game. An interesting take on a sort of sports game (basically fantasy basketball), and I do like that you don't strictly have to win all your games (though I definitely did, except I think the very last one). Can recommend.

Marvel's Spider-Man: Mile Morales - I enjoyed Insomniac's take on Spider-Man the first time, still really enjoyed it this time. This coming year I hope to get around to Spider-Man 2, since people seem to have really enjoyed that. Definitely some annoying challenges though. I'm glad I allowed myself to kick my completionist habit early this year.

Rhythm Sprout - Okay, it's fine? It's fun? But I don't think it's quite for me. I don't even fully remember what about it I wasn't fond of, but it definitely wore out its welcome by the end for me.

Deathloop - Arkane is another game studio who I generally quite like the output of (Dishonored series my beloved), and Deathloop was a fun take. Early game is definitely a bit weak, but once you start getting more fun powers, it's a treat to play around in this world as you try to figure out how to break the loop. It's just a shame about the multiplayer though. Asymetric invasion multiplayer just isn't for me, which is fine, it was optional-ish, but because of it's inclusion they definitely had to reduce the number of toys you could have at once, which was more frustrating.

Wario Land 4 - I really like Wario Land 2 and 3. I like the first one as well. But something about this one doesn't work for me. I think it's getting rated at the end of each level? Another one I don't think I'll replay.

Sackboy: A Big Adventure - So you're saying I can have the charming aesthetics of LittleBigPlanet, and in a 3d platformer? And not in a game super focused on user made content? Sign me up! Shame about the 2 player only levels, I never got to try them due to a tragic lack of a second controller. Otherwise, great. The musical levels remain a standout highlight.

Knight Witch - Oh I wanted to like this one more. A bullet-hellish metroidvania, but sadly the difficulty was tuned a little too high for me to really enjoy it towards the end. I had to turn on invincibility to beat it.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3: Future Redeemed - Yes I'm including a DLC campaign here. Get used to it. Anyway, as a big fan of Xenoblade games, this one definitely delivered for me. I'll basically take any chance to spend some more time with Xenoblade games.

Lunistice - Another quite fun 3D platformer. Movement felt fun, and I appreciate that there's some more variety for me if I go back to it in the form of other playable characters. Maybe I'll do that someday.

Souldiers - Another one I wish I liked more. It starts quite strong, and the idea of having three playable classes is nice. But the second major area, the pyramid temple... I don't know what it is, but it was a SLOG. Probably because it's a very vertical level, which is way more annoying to navigate. Also another one where I feel the difficulty was tuned a little too high for me to enjoy (and yet I love Hollow Knight).

Tears of the Kingdom - Okay, look. You've probably played this game. You've probably seen other people play this game. You don't need me to tell you this game is fantastic. There are still problems to be sure, but it's a really good sequel to an already great game. At some point in the new year I will be a madman and collect all the Korok seeds, but not yet. Not yet.

Pokémon Scarlet - Yes I played Violet when it came out. Yes I'm counting this anyway. My list, my rules. Anyway, As much as pokémon occupies my waking thoughts, there are lots of things I don't like about this one. I'm setting aside the graphics for now to focus on gameplay things. So. Most of my issues with the game stem from it being open world. I'm not opposed to this being the direction pokémon goes, but there are things I am opposed to. For one, I think there are too many pokémon spawns. The spawners should have been fewer and further apart, as well as more unique. Maybe not all the time, but more often. If I climb to the highest peak in Paldea, I should find a pokémon there that I can't find anywhere else. I shouldn't find the same five pokémon I encountered while climbing it. And navigating is terrible too. I'm of the opinion the game shouldn't have had climbing or gliding. It actually makes trying to find a path through everywhere less enjoyable. Look, I could go on, but this is the halfway point of the list so I'll hold myself back for now.

God of War: Ragnarok - Mechanically, this game is really really good. It takes what was good about the previous God of War game and polishes it further. Storywise, this definitely feels like it was two games smushed into one. What's there is great, the characters are fantastic, but some things felt like they needed room to breathe. Also I'm still really impressed by the trickery used to keep this game as a oner, shot wise. Also also I don't think I've ever cried after hearing the solution to a riddle before, so props for that.

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective - Everyone go play Ghost Trick. Now. I'm serious. This game is one of my favourites of all time, so of course I was going to get the remaster. Yes I'm counting it, much like the Metroid Prime remaster. Go play Ghost Trick.

Picross 3D Round 2 - I got this game before the 3DS eShop closed, and it was a solid little puzzle game. I think I actually prefer it to regular Picross, though overall I still prefer the kind offered by Hungry Cat Nonagram. Not sure the technical name for that kind. Anyway point is, good game.

Master Detective Archives: Rain Code - I like Danganronpa, so I was pretty interested to check out Kodaka's latest offering. It plays very similarly to Danganronpa, for better and for worse. In fact, maybe the default gameplay is a bit less good than Danganronpa's? Anyway, this is the second game on the list where I had to take a lap after a certain late/end game twist (in a good way). Kodaka you crazy bastard. I still can't believe it.

Pikmin - Despite having played Pikmin 3, I'd never tried the series' roots before. I was surprised at how well it held up, even without some of the quality of life changes from 3. I could see myself replaying it again, though it does still take 3rd place in my ranking of main Pikmin games.

Pikmin 2 - This on the other hand. Look, the core gameplay is still there, it's still fun getting your army of little guys and taking on the world. But there are two things that put this on the bottom for me. One, no overarching time limit. I honestly thought I'd hate the time-limit in the Pikmin series, but honestly I think it's a great thing to have. Two, the randomised dungeons. Oh I don't like these. I feel like it removes or downplays the strategy aspect of the games that I enjoy. It gets last on my ranking of Pikmin games.

Pikmin 4 - Sidenote, I did replay Pikmin 3 after 2 and before 4, but I've done that before so it doesn't get a write up. Anyway, Pikmin 4! This is a strictly better version of Pikmin 2. The caves are now always the same, which means they could actually design interesting challenges/puzzles into them. My main complaint about this game is actually that Oatchi is perhaps too powerful. My other complaint is the Dandori battles. I like the Dandori trials, but something about having an opponent to play against made me not enjoy the battles. Second favourite mainline Pikmin game.

Dishonored: Death of the Outsider - I already said I like Arkane studios and the Dishonored series. This game might be shorted and more limited (and thus a bit more frustrating for the way I like to play these games) but it's still solid.

Fire Emblem: Engage - I was expecting to not like this one as much as I did. And to be fair, I think I still like Three Houses (the only other FE game I've played) better, but the gameplay of this one is pretty solid. A few weird complaints about it, but overall quite solid.

Marble it Up! Ultra - There is a lot of joy to be found in marble platforming it turns out. The best way to sell you on this game is to just get you to watch it, so here you go, go watch Dan Floyd of New Frame Plus and PlayFrame play it.

Vampire Survivors - How do you judge when Vampire Survivors is beaten you ask? Well, firstly when you get credits. Easy. Also if you complete every challenge in the game and first 2 DLCs plus free update I think. This game is A Lot, but for me it's a good A Lot. Now to continue waiting for the Vampire Survivors x Among Us DLC on Switch.

Doom (2016) - This game has convinced me I'm not a huge fan of FPSs. Okay look, it's fantastic. It's high energy, fast paced, aggressive, it's great! But it's also headache inducing for me. I probably need to mess with camera settings some more in future FPS games.

Kirby: Return to Dreamland Deluxe - I don't have to keep justifying putting remasters on this list. I love Kirby, it's just always a good time. That's really all that needs to be said.

Sea of Stars - This is one of my games of the year. I backed the Kickstarter for this on the strength of their previous game, The Messenger (also a fave), and I was not disappointed. The gameplay is a fantastic blend of Chrono Trigger's battles and Mario & Luigi RPG's active hit system. The soundtrack slaps, the art is so pretty (who allowed them to make the cooking feature in this game look SO GOOD). It also receives the prestigious honour of being the only game that I wanted to immediately start another playthrough of right after beating it.

Frogun - This was a pretty cute little throwback platformer. I did give up on getting everything in it toward the end, but maybe one day I'll go back and finish it. Also look, it had Frog in the title, how could I say no to it?

Time on Frog Island - Okay look, it has Frog in the title, how could I say no to it? That aside, it's mostly pretty good, though there's definitely some mysteries I didn't have the patience for, so undoubtedly there's more I could do. Probably not for everyone, but an enjoyable little distraction.

Baldur's Gate 3 - Is this game perfect? No. Are all the complaints I have about it pretty much nitpicks? Yes. Again, this is a game you don't need me to tell you it's good. Plus it gave me an excuse to play as Fargrim Stonecleave, my 5e dwarf ranger again. And I got to have a pet owlbear cub! And I got to pet him! I have named him Owliver Cupcake Stonecleave, and he is my son.

Into the Breach - To clarify again, I considered this game beaten because I reached credits. There's still more I can do in this, but it's a great little tactics game that I will definitely be spending more time with in future.

Super Mario Wonder - Another game that I probably don't need to tell you is good. But I will anyway. This game is wonderful. Except for the Final Badge Trial. Anyway, I thought I wouldn't find the online option interesting, but actually having Dark Souls style ghosts online, playing beside you was really fun. I think this might be the best 2D Mario game. All this game is missing is the ability to play as Rosalina, but it is nice that Daisy finally gets a turn in the spotlight.

Suika Game - I consider this game beaten because I made a watermelon. But yeah, this is a simple but fun and tricky puzzle game that is nice to play while I'm watching other things.

Unsighted - This is a really good top down Zelda-like. Challenging in places, sure, but really good. The main thing I didn't like was each character having a ticking clock, so I did disable that with assist features first thing. I would be interested in replaying this and sequence breaking it.

The Forgotten City - I don't really want to spoil this one too much, but it's a game that scratches the same itch that Outer Wilds does. That should be all you need to know if you've played Outer Wilds. It's not as long as Outer Wilds, but still good. This is the best Skyrim related thing* I've ever played, and that includes actual Skyrim.

*the game started life as a Skyrim mod before getting turned into a standalone game

Persona 5 Tactica - I like Persona 5, I like tactics games, so this was a natural fit. And I really enjoyed it. It wasn't overly challenging, sure, but I found a lot of fun in trying to complete missions efficeintly. The DLC was more challenging, and yeah it's frustrating that it's pre-third semester of P5R, but it was a nice addition. A shame I couldn't get Kasumi and Akechi in the main game until New Game+ though.

Neversong - Oh yeah. This. Okay, it's not terrible, but I guess it's just not my thing storywise. It was at least short though.

Fe - I wish I liked this more. It's got a similar, no-words vibe as Journey, a game I love, but it doesn't quite nail it I think. Plus it does that thing that some games do where it has stealth sections in a game that's not really made for it. Again, it's at least short.

Pokémon Violet: The Secret Treasure of Area Zero -SURPRISE IT'S MORE POKÉMON! YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE FREE BUT NO! Okay, anyway. The Teal Mask was okay, basically just more of the same from ScarVio. Also my reaction to Ogerpon is very much that Rosa Diaz with a puppy gif. But more importantly, the Indigo Disk is fantastic. There's still a lot of problems that come from it being attached to these games, but it does one thing very right - constant double battles. I am not super involved with the VGC scene (complaints for another time) but I do think that if it's going to be the official competitive scene, the games need to ease players into that more. I thought Raihan's gym in SnS was a good start, but I wanted more of that. So a whole expansion where every battle is a doubles battle? Allowing certain moves and abilities to actually get use in game more than just the two double battles in the main campaign? Actual competitive strategies getting used by the NPCs? Music to my ears, and such a refreshing change. I want the next mainline pokémon game to lean into this even more. The only thing I want more is A BATTLE TOWER IN THIS GAME WHY DON'T WE HAVE ONE!?

Anyway, that's my 52 games I played this year. This was an interesting exercise, one I will not be repeating, or at least not to the same extent. Also, shout out to the following games which I also replayed: Shovel Knight (Plague of Shadows, Spectre of Torment, and King of Cards), Monster Hunter Rise Sunbreak, Pikmin 3, Kirby Planet Robobot, and The Messenger.

Next year, my gaming goal is to play through a minimum of 12 different RPGs, ideally ones I haven't beaten before, but I'm not going to be as picky because I want to replay Xenoblade 1-3