#also just the different perspectives about the future after highschool

[radiocrypt-id]

The bad kids haven't really looked too closely at the Rat Grinders (meta wise I know it's a commentary on different play styles and how shitty xp farming is and how op players/parties can become by doing the bare minimum if they put in the time while everyone else plays the damn game) but I find the split perspective problems absolutely fascinating. I can't wait for the Bad Kids to look at the Rat Grinders with envy and anger that the Rat Grinders got to live a normal highschool life without all this insane danger and experience being a teenager without it being the end of the world for them. Right now they just hate the Rat Grinders energy and are matching it back (which is a very high school thing to do. To have beef with a whole other group of kids and not even know why but you'll die on this hill because they started shit first)

Because to the Rat Grinders, from a purely outside perspective, the Bad Kids are fucking monarchs of the school, right? They skipped classes, ran around town, fought people, got arrested, hung out with a big devil? Every new staff member came at their recommendation? One of them has both her dads working at the school?? The destroyed school property, got teachers killed, straight murdered the coach? These fucking kids run around and are apparently scott-free? because the principal liked their chaos enough to let it go and help them avoid the police? To the Rat Grinders, the Bad Kids are untouchable. They're exempt from the law. They're liars, cheats and need to be humbled. It's unfair. From everyone elses perspective, it really does look like the Bad Kids have been given crazy favourtism.

Meanwhile, all of the Bad Kids have died at least once. They've been irreparably changed and are in a constant state of fight or flight. They assume everything is dangerous and anyone might be an enemy because for two goddamn years that was the exact case! They couldn't trust any adult first year! Literally anyone could have been infected with Kalina second year! who knows what happened with the Night Yord but I fucking bet they had issues with Yorbies pretending to be helpful just to kill them! Everyone, for two years, has been out to get them! They can't even sleep! And now they have to grind so hard or they fail. Adaine has a seemingly full time job after school basically every day because she literally can't afford to live? Fabian has taken on the most physically strenuous classes and sport one dude could and has dreams of also being a social legend because he's fucking lonely in that big house and he just wants to fill it. If anyone in the party fails or dies Riz is shit out of luck and wont ever get into a university? He so desperately wants his friends with him so he's working over time and ignoring his limits to make up for his party members not caring about the future. Fig is going through the strangest arc I've ever seen in my life? she's hard avoidant and taking three classes, so a 250% work load, because she's desperate to fill her time so she can't think about all the other work she has to do that if she ignores too long could crush her under the debt of her band from her label, or how alone she feels without her girlfriend around. Gorgug is so desperate to prove himself that he's doing four years of school work in one, trying to play catch up and also prove himself at the same time, he's taking it all so seriously but also is so fucking tired. And Kristen. Mother fucking Kristen "hey girlie" applebees. Expected to dedicate her life to a god with no direction, with the weight of failure being her gods death, while also being in school and also at your friends insistence needing to run for student body president and getting your priorities so mixed up and being completely left behind by her peers who didn't have to rework their entire world view and understanding of life in the span of a few months every few months.

The Bad Kids are in a terrible place. They're suffering. I want them to just say it out loud, to stop pretending they have it handled and are fine. I want Riz and Adaine to yell at the party to get their shit together. I want Fabian to tell someone how alone and abandoned her feels. I want Kristen to scream at Cassandra that she agrees, that it's not fair, she's just a kid, how could she be enough all on her own with no help? It sucks a god can only rely on a child, for both the god and child! They're both suffering from this arrangement! Neither is happy! I want Gorgug to beat the shit out of Porter with his inventions and rage at the same time, to make the best shit and use it in the most stunning way anyone has ever seen. I want Fig to finally get some freaking help, to have her teachers and parents reach out in a meaningful way and stop telling her to figure it out alone because clearly the pressure is too much for her to handle and she's drowning. I want someone, anyone, to look at the Bad Kids and tell them to stop. To help them. But I know it wont be that easy. I know it'll be the Rat Grinders yelling at how unfair it is the Bad kids get everything while they're on the sidelines that'll get under the Bad Kids skin and they'll yell about how awesome they are and that they didn't ask for any of this shit to happen to them and to fuck off. I know it's gonna get so much worse before it gets better. I know they'll figure it out and that it'll be a painful road there.

[rifki16]

Living with Him Episode Six Review

Photo Credit: Living with Him Promotional Twitter Account

A very puffy, jiggly, and filling cheesecake

I really don’t think I need to write that much for this essay. All of my objections about the Live-Action adaptation against the manga have been written before, and quite frankly has partially been answered, albeit much to my chagrin. I would like to write about two things for this episode.

Kazuhito and Ryo’s Relationship after Middle School

So, let me paint how the LA portray their friendship before middle school. They were very inseparable to the extent that Ryo knew exactly why Kazuhito was very popular. The episode actually cold opened with their last sleepover. It was very prophetic that Kazuhito tried to calm his nerves about high school and asked Ryo whether they would still be friends even if they wouldn’t have the same classes in the future. Ryo then answered, “It’s a given”.

Of course, then it cut to Ryo being a highschooler and became ever distant to Ryo. The LA then made Kazuhito avoided Ryo, for some reasons. I mean, I never really grew apart from my rational ex-friends. So, I don’t know what people exactly do after they grow apart from their friend or lover or anything. I don’t know what caused Kazuhito to avoid Ryo to such extent. However, I think this characterization of post-middle school relationship is very important in establishing Kazuhito’s responses for future events in his life.

The way it’s depicted in the manga is that Kazuhito and Ryo were very close in grade school, or elementary school. Then, they became quite distant in middle school as the two were not even in the same clubs. Ultimately, they were just not friends anymore by high school. This is written from Ryo’s perspective by the way. From Kazuhito’s perspective, the author really emphasized how Kazuhito-kun already had a crush on Ryo since middle school if I’m not mistaken, and Kazuhito tried so hard to forget his crush on Ryo by immersing himself in baseball – something which LA Kazuhito is doing.

However, the manga doesn’t portray Kazuhito to be avoiding Ryo, not even after their falling out in High School. To be fair, the manga doesn’t really say a lot about the two’s time during high school or even before for that matter. What the manga says was solely about Kazuhito asking Ryo one day about feeling not himself, this will be talked more in the next section. That conversation actually came up just as the two are going home from school, I suppose. It ended with Kazuhito actually making a joke about dating Ryo, emphasizing how bold manga Kazuhito is compared to the LA. Ryo then promptly answered by saying that he didn’t want to die being stampied by Kazuhito’s fans for he knows he will be the target of every jealous girl fans of Kazuhito – also a foreshadow on how Ryo sees himself against Kazuhito, a problem which made them briefly broke up. Side note, do you still remember my pilot episode review about how Ryo in the LA is more receptive to Kazuhito? This interaction in the manga is one of the proofs why I feel like Ryo in the manga is more of a jealous often overlooked man.

Even though that the LA took different paths in portraying the High school relationship between the two, the show still tied the knot in the end. Ryo is more receptive of Kazuhito? The impact is that Ryo actually cheered in his home for Kazuhito’s team during Koshien, noting the lack of masculine jealousy of Ryo toward Kazuhito. Kazuhito avoiding Ryo during High School? It made it even more impactful when Kazuhito actually went out of his way going to Ryo’s house to meet him, this will be explained in the next section further. It’s implied that Kazuhito and Ryo don’t talk again after Kazuhito went to Ryo’s place? The conversation’s importance became more prominent when Kazuhito’s mum asked of him whether he would like to live with Ryo together or not as Ryo is also going to the same university, and then remembering how sweet his last conversation was with Ryo, Kazuhito eagerly said yes to the offer by his mom.

I also need to add that the conversation to live together with Ryo between Kazuhito and his mother is not in the manga. Kazuhito admitted that he knew about the living arrangement, however, this was after they become lovey-dovey couple and Ryo replied that he was glad that Kazuhito had agreed to live with him. I think if I’m not mistaken. However, it is very clear that there was no scene of the conversation like I had seen in the LA appearing in the manga. I think I’m hallucinating, I can’t find a proof of this, yet.

Kazuhito’s Injury

I’ve written about this even in the pilot episode review. My objection was that, why did Kazuhito brush off his life-altering injury and was still able to play baseball on a fake date with Ryo. The manga Kazuhito was quite taken aback by the injury. I also noted that in the manga, the injury was somewhere in the lower limb, whereas in the LA, it happened in the shoulder area.

The series tried to reply to my objection part by part I suppose. I think it was in episode three, the bottle episode, when Kazuhito told Ryo’s sisters that he did not play baseball professionally, or hardly ever, after his injury.

In this episode, I think I got the whole dish as to how Kazuhito, and his mom, actually reacted to the injury. It was shown that Kazuhito just finished the Koshien and got to the top 16 teams. Mind you, in the LA, we were served with interactions of parents interacting and asking about each other’s kids. I think it was nice hearing Kazuhito’s mum said that he wouldn’t let Kazuhito play in the Koshien because he was still a junior in High School. Anyway, after the Koshien, Kazuhito was working in his mum’s inn, not his aunt’s, and he felt discomfort around his shoulder and his mother advised him to see a doctor, which he did. He was then portrayed to be devastated that the doctor said that it would be hard for him to continue baseball professionally. We saw him staring into the void, unable to stand and just leaned against the door. We also saw his mother being devastated by the prognosis from his doctor.

The consoling scene came. As I have mentioned briefly in the section before, in the LA, Kazuhito came to Ryo’s place directly. The consoling conversation actually went just like in the manga, despite the different circumstances. Kazuhito asked, something to the effect of, “what if you’re losing of what’s you?”. Ryo then answered, after saying how hefty the question was, something in the line of, “you’re always you, you just need to adapt to the changes around you and make sure that you don’t lose the real you”. Yes, very touching I know. Even though that Ryo delivered the line with a smile instead of a jealous smirk like in the manga, I think that it still works as the LA has established that Ryo is not threatened in the masculine primal way of Kazuhito because Ryo knows why Kazuhito is always so adored by everyone.

I think what the LA is trying to say is that the conversation that Ryo had with Kazuhito really helped Kazuhito with the injury hence why, afterwards, Kazuhito was really trying his best in studying for university’s entrance exam. It also goes with the logic that Kazuhito felt like the injury was behind him because Ryo made him felt like he was enough even without the ability to be a baseball player.

I’m not saying that in the manga, Kazuhito still has the baggage of the injury with him. It’s just that it seems like the injury is still a big matter to relationship compared to the one in the LA.

I really think that I need to read more on disability representation so that I can assess whether it’s right to write said injury in that manner and how reactions are evoked from the disabled person and their family members or loved ones.

I have to say before I end this essay. I’m so glad that they decided to keep the Fujoshi baker haha. I do hope that we can see her again in the LA!

I can’t wait for the breakup episode next week. I think the breakup will be smoother compared to the many other breakups I have watched or read in other Japanese BL works. Idk, tho, I only could gauge from the teaser. What I know is that I can’t wait to watch it !

This episode really made up the disappointment I had with At 25:00, in Akasaka episode 5. I cannot stress this enough. Watch it yall, it’s excellent.

[tarysu]

REQUEST TIME !! can i pls request a university tachi? what major would he be, what would his hobbies be, how does he meet reader? etc

THANK U SM FEEL FREE TO IGNORE AND REMEMBER TO DRINK LOTS OF WATER I HOPE U HAVE A GREAT DAY EVERY DAY

<Babi i love you smmsmmssm I WILL HYDRATE MYSELF TO THE POINT I DISSOLVE INTO WATER, I've been away and off from tumblr since I'm pretty crazy and rotting in bed (school holidays is getting to me really hard). BUT BUT LET ME WRITE YOU THIS SAHHAHDUAUSD. Small reminder that I'm NOT a university student myself, as you can see I'm pretty young a still a teen girl so I have no knowledge abt uni majors (I pre-prepared majors for my future so I think I have a thought or two on how tachi would work in Uni) ANWAYSYYY SRUMDELI YUM YUM YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!> 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐀 !! | 𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 (𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒)

✦ ─ ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ ─ ✦ ✦ Michizou would most likely be doing criminology (I can vision him studying crime, courses like psychology and law) OR a stem major (his ability could be proven useful, Mechanical Engineering would suit him a lot!!! I mean this guy would be establishing some cool machineries). ✦ I'd say Michi would be a well organised university student, given how he can balance his military identity between his Mafia persona. I'd say he'd cope with his schedule (rip all the other students dying of no sleep.) ✦ Tachihara doesn't get regular sleep (not that he gets less sleep just...not a regular sleeping schedule), but I'm 100% sure he's alright. He'd sometimes nap randomly, bro would nap at the most random time anyways LOL. ✦ What extra curriculums he'd do in Uni? BRO WHEN I TELL YOU HE DOES SPORTS FOR SURE!! Basketball in particular. He'd be the star of the show, with his good build and pretty feisty look. Girls on the basketball stadiums would be head over heels. What can I say? He's a popular fucker amongst his peers. I'm positive he is someones hallway crush on the first year of Uni. (definitely the readers.) ✦ He's talkative, always blabbering about dumb shit or shitty jokes. He laughs before he could say the joke, he starts getting an aneurysm on the spot for laughing so hard. ✦ What does he do in his extra time? Hangout with his mates or fuck around a lot in game lobbies. He would be spending hours and hours grinding for a fortnite skin or honestly just pay 2 win (bro bought the whole jjk skins on fortinite). ✦ Michizou takes studying pretty fucking seriously, he failed countless times in his junior years during highschool. He only took his grades seriously once life was hitting a little TOO hard. ✦ Tachihara wasn't interested in any romantic relationships, not until he gets a stable job and house in future. He just wasn't ready for that kind of commitment and he stuck to that style until he met you. ✦ He's friends with all kinds of people and would honestly vibe with all of them, his social battery can get drained pretty easily. ✦ You were doing a medical course and hardly had any rest (I mean any medical majors in my opinion are pretty hard from my perspective). You and Tachi tend to study together, though both of you have different courses. ✦ You two actually knew each other back in highschool. Though you've never TALKED until a certain event in uni. (a small disaster I'll write a fan fic abt it) ✦ You two go on dates once in a blue moon, given how passionate you are about being a doctor (or nurse, you're a pretty tired person.). ✦ Sometimes Michizou would find you cheering the loudest amongst the girls when he plays on the basketball field. (You're definitely the number 1 cheer girl) ✦ After winning the game, he'd run over to you. Cool sweat trickling down his face. He'd hug you and give you multiple of kisses, you'd also give that in return. ✦ EXTRA : Tachihara would always let you stay the night (or two) over in his dorm whenever you have fights with your parents. You live with your parents but sometimes they could really get on her nerves. You'd usually come over frustrated with tears, but hey!! he'd pamper you, coop you up on the couch and just kiss those silly tears away

[tim-ee-sis]

I understand your feeling of treading water, I had long term goals for years of needing to do this so I could do that so everything would work. And that drove me for years got through highschool, undergrad and a masters then got out struggled to get a job for a while then got one and moved just in time to be locked down in a place I didn't really know people for covid.

And it's rough not to know the next step, to just tread water and not have a force in your life that helps you get out of bed and drives you to do better.

And to be honest I still don't have a big goal, like there are things that I still want, a place of my own, to travel, to learn some more, but there is nothing over my head forcing me into any specific deadline, or even a timeline really.

And the thing is I'm happy, and enjoying this time where I get to enjoy my time, hang out with friends and my bf, enjoy good food, and being able to relax.

But I couldn't for a while I had to break myself out of a mindset of needing to do something, needing to strive and achieve. Which was hard, as I had gotten so used to a paradigm where if I failed or slowed down a set of domino's would then start to fall where my future would be derailed and great financial and mental cost. Getting rid of that mentality took time, therapy, and having to teach myself a new mentality. Which I largely did by taking classes for a hobby that I always wanted to learn but could fail at with no repercussions it would affect a grade, it would mean I could get into another program, it just meant I made something lower quality then I wanted and could just try again later. And I did that until I stopped being stressed about failing and just let myself have fun with it and got better at it and just enjoyed the act of creation and the moment rather then being worried about how long it was taking me to improve, or not being able to due more impressive things yet. Just enjoying getting better and being able to do what I can.

I have no idea if this will help you but it's how I got to a better place, reframing my mindset and letting go of the stress I always felt to need to do more or better or I would fail. Your path will likely be different but I hope you find a way to shake the feeling of treading water and find a life filled with joy and peace.

This is a lovely message and I would love to chat with you more back-and-forth if you're open to messaging me.

One of the biggest factors I've noticed with my current predicament is that after my engagement ended, I also lost most of the friends I have here, so I've felt more lonely. I've tried to keep the perspective of using the opportunity to work on myself and my job requires a lot of social energy which means I'm not at home alone for days on end, but I still want more of a community which I now have to rebuild.

Plus money, but I'm a political junkie and that's a WHOLE can of worms haha

[blpbrainrot]

can't believe the anime cut this scene out...

[strikerandoverachiever]

Blue Lock Chapter 169 Color-spread Analysis (Part IV)

Hello, everyone, so today, I am continuing my analysis of the color-spread from chapter 169 and we are finally getting into Isagi’s side of the picture!😉😄❤️❤️❤️

That being said, the ball on his side looks almost brand new, especially in comparison to the one beneath Kaiser’s foot, with barely any scratches or imprints.

However, I believe there is something to be said about how while Kaiser’s ball contrasts his surroundings and persona, Isagi’s looks like it belongs, to him and on his side, blending seamlessly and naturally into his landscape, just another puzzle piece that makes up who he is.

His luggage and the uniform we see behind him are also in the basic white and black combo, simple and matching eachother, which in turn only makes the character, dressed in mainly red, stand out from the background, even in the darkness that seems to engulf him, separating him from his rival.

Now, there’s a most interesting thing to observe, in regards to Isagi’s travel bag & the uniform beside and also on the floor behind him: they are his old gear, from his time in the soccer team of his highschool, Ichinan High.

Now tell me, isn’t that most strange or is that just me??

Why are we seeing traces of whom Isagi used to be before Blue Lock, here and now, at such an advanced point in the story??

In my opinion, this is a mark of his past, which he also carries into his present and maybe, also his future:

11

which is shaping up to be Isagi’s number, from Ichinan, to his match in the U-20 and even now, in the Bastard Munchen team.

Could this possibly symbolize a return to Isagi’s origins or a parallel drawn back to the time when he passed to another teammate, similar, but not quite the same as when he passed to Kunigami in chapter 167, this time bringing victory to the his team together with another player?

Thinking back to that first match we saw Isagi-san play in, I can’t help but be reminded of the words his coach yelled out to him, as he was nearing the goal:

“One for all, all for one.”

If we are to look at the German’s team philosophy from this perspective, perhaps it would appear something like this:

•One for all - Kaiser scores for the team;

•All for one - everyone plays a game meant to ensure that Kaiser can receive the ball in order to score.

Perhaps they are not so different, then.

After all, in such a scenario, all Isagi-san would have to do, is to become “the one that stands in front of the goal in order to score for all of them”.

Of course, though, at this present time and with his current level of skills, that may be easier said than done…

This has been it for part IV, I hope you’ve all enjoyed it; one more part to go and I’m done, so, to anyone whom has stuck with me so far, thank you!😉😄❤️

[saudade-mayari]

I don’t blame people who says Aizawa is a bad teacher or a hypocrite, but you’re an account that I am comfortable sharing this because you also love eraser head. (It’s okay if you don’t want to post it)

Even Aizawa admitted to himself that he is a terrible teacher and mostly forced to teach as based on the vigilantes manga where Nemuri recommended Shota to be a teacher, but what he did to DEKU is somehow relevant for me.

Yes it is true that during the first part he hated Izuku’s guts and regarded him as having no potential but Aizawa was also testing the kid because whichever way watchers should know, Aizawa is right on the fact that Izuku just can’t attack recklessly and impulsively after having such destructive quirk. He did not disregard Izuku’s quirk, he is merely testing the kid to find his other resolve. As for Bakugo’s case Aizawa truly had a hard time disciplining him but he is watching him closely like what Mitsuki (Bakugo’s mom) said, so when All Might took tutelage of Midoriya (and Bakugo) he had no objections because as a HOMEROOM teacher, All Might is the best training for Izuku’s quirk (which is relatively passed onto him)

He is never a hypocrite for teaching Shinso. I don’t see anything wrong about that because I really understand that some training teachers have their own prodigy and he’s a homeroom teacher all he is accountable off is the overlooking at the their hero training which he did well because he focused on the student individual’s strength in the summer camp.

Aizawa also mentioned in a chapter in manga (254) why he expelled students in the past. He knew his capability as a homeroom teacher and he himself knows that he is a terrible teacher hence, re-enrolled them to other school where they would work with a new homeroom teacher. Some may see it as escaping of “escaping duties” but I really think during that time, Aizawa was just thinking what he thinks is best for the students. Afterall, he had proven himself good in manga as someone who really cares for ALL THE STUDENTS.

Blaming Aizawa for the events in 1A is practically uncalled and irrelevant, might as well just say the entire UA should be held accountable. He just had a poor decision making most especially when the truth about Kurogiri is revealed. However, even though he is not the best teacher, I can safely say that Aizawa is a decent and good teacher.

v v v long post ahead

yes anon!!!!. not my biased self speaking... he is not as great as other teachers, but saying shouta is a terrible teacher is uncalled for. he is a decent prof for me. made some mistakes, helps his students. it’s decent.

i firmly believe aizawa and all might are better example as a pro hero than teachers.

(Gonna point some of his mistakes in my perspective as a former teacher under the cut)

he was strict for a reason but he showed his care for all the students during the fight in manga (not gonna say since its spoiler) even aizawa himself knows he is terrible at teaching but at least he is trying😂

i also heard fans saying that because momo, tenya and todoroki are from rich and well known prohero family aizawa never bothered to scold at them. AGAIN IT IS WRONG TO SAY THAT.

momo, iida and todoroki...yes rich and families are known for being heroes but they practically never did anything to trouble aizawa so why else bother them? during their test, aizawa gave advice for todoroki and momo which considerably helped them.

aizawa’s way of teaching is to give harsh critiques and let the student have their own resolve. but as a former student and teacher speaking, it is both right and wrong to have that approach.

it’s definitely okay to let them figure out their own resolve (HAPPENS A LOT IN MED SCHOOL PROFS ARE HARSH HUHU) but it is important to somehow give them base and foundation before actually figuring out their so-called own resolves. i think it’s what aizawa lacks the most AS A TEACHER. but then again his entire character build up clearly says he’s not for teaching.

he was also called a hypocrite for teaching shinso but they aren’t picking on all might for mostly focusing on deku nor endeavor only wanting to focus on shoto. it’s not wrong to have their own prodigies because at the very least aizawa helped overlook his students like what he did in the summer camp and like what all might did in student practicals.

not just aizawa but all might, endeavor, nighteye and even gran torino have personal decisions on closely training those selected kids

aizawa WAS the only teacher who called the entrance/admission test irrelevant for non-physical quirks. HE KNEW IT WAS A PROBLEM SO HE HELPED SHINSO TO BE ON HERO DEPARTMENT bc he know the kid’s opportunity to be a pro hero in the future. he experienced that himself, although his quirk is powerful it was completely non-physical that is why his and shinso’s ability are less likely to be recognized. coz i agree the quirk admission test was somehow iffy... there should have been psychological quirk test too but i understand the point where fans tell that “it’s a student’s job to take advantage of their quirk rather than complain in the disadvantages of having a non-physical quirk.”

I agree on that statement but as a former student myself, i think reconsiderations should have existed coz there are probably lots of great students in general course department (like shinsou).

—and tbh... aizawa and kakashi are often the teachers who are regarded as ‘terrible ones’ but i don’t think so.

im not gonna point out kakashi’s but im gonna say aizawa’s role as a homeroom teacher. back in highschool, ive homeschooled in japan for 2 yrs due to personal reasons and i can say that based on their culture in japan and asia countries in general have a different approach on homeroom teachers.

homeroom teachers in japan are technically the ones who overlook the students, ppl who argued that aizawa should train them is irrelevant because all might is their combat and hero training teacher. aizawa is not meant to teach, but rather supervise.

which is why aizawa (as the homeroom teacher) and all might (the hero training teacher) are the ones who had council with parents because technically, aizawa is responsible for the students safety. HOWEVER....

manga spoilers on the cut

some anti aizawa fans are totally wrong to blame everything in him for 1A always being in dangerous circumstances because after reading the on going manga, they have no damned idea AT FIRST who the league of villains is responsible of. THE ENTIRE UA SHOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE, not just aizawa I agree on that anon.

for aizawa and the rest it is still a puzzle in the early, i repeat early chapters of the manga what the league is really after aside from killing all might and changing the system of pro heroes.

yes. I agree he had bad decisions on the victims, mainly Kurogiri because he knew it was his friend. He regarded Kurogiri as a ‘victim’ but somehow disregarded the casualties it caused. It was irrational for aizawa to say it like that coz it was obviously a word out of his feelings in the past. can’t blame him (imo) but it was truly irrational and irrelevant for him to say it like that.

there are times aizawa as a teacher just harshly criticized them and let them have their own resolve which is in fact, pretty harsh for a bunch of 15 year olds. but i think aizawa only wants them to have their own resolve since its what aizawa has been doing since episode 5.

i think it was bad for aizawa to let iida go where his brother was attacked, he should have acted upon it as a homeroom teacher to secure iida’s safety but then again, ITS FOR THE SAKE OF PLOT😂

im going to say this again... as a former teacher speaking, it is bad for aizawa just to give the students harsh critiques and letting them figure their own resolves.

it’s not a bad teaching approach BUT that kind of approach doesn’t work ALL THE TIME. sometimes, aizawa needs to teach the basics, base and foundation so the students would have an easier time to HAVE AN ACTUAL SOLUTION

because as a student for 9 years in pre and med school, it is definitely hard to make critical decisions WITHOUT being taught the foundation and base first.

it’s like aizawa not teaching an intern general surgery but letting them have their own decisions if the intern is gonna decide whether to lead the surgery or not.

his teaching approach is not bad but it doesn’t work all the time. as a teacher, pro hero and adult he needs to imply his own experience as well which where the erasure hero lacks. But then again it’s plot and aizawa’s introvert character build up so we can’t really blame him because they need the plot to keep going.

personally, aizawa’s main mistake is not knowing what to teach for the answers to questions the students are not expected to know from teaching answers to questions the students are expected to know.

if aizawa’s gonna be that perfect teacher and all, the show would have been boring😂

though aizawa did assessed on their quirks during summer training arc but i think it was not enough for the fans.

aizawa is much more better as a pro hero alone. he does his job perfectly as pro hero.

so in conclusion, i think aizawa needs to have seminar with me 🤪 im gonna teach my man the proper and basics of teaching. HAHAHAHA KIDDING 🤪 (lowkey not kidding)

[danisaur-arts]

THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES: BOOK REVIEW

Spoilers ahead, read at your own risk

A couple of weeks ago, I was rewatching Catching Fire to have something in the background while I painted my nails. Truth is I was too hooked with the movie to do much painting, and that's how 2013 me took over and I became invested in the world of the Hunger Games again. I reread the trilogy and then got TBoSaS for a Christmas gift.

I knew absolutely nothing about the book. For a while I even thought it was about Haymitch's games. But after opening it I realized it was about president Snow?! I was mind-blown but also excited to get this perspective on how a young boy became a horrid viper president.

The book, with all honesty, starts quite very slow. But so does The Hunger Games and also Gregor the Overlander. Collins likes to have a solid establishment of the protagonist's world before diving into the story. In my opinion, TBoSaS opening is the slowest opening of all her books, but not without justification.

As the story moves on, we are presented to an ambitious Coriolanus Snow. Mind you, ambitious, not evil yet. He meets Lucy Gray Baird, District 12's girl tribute who he had to mentor for the 10th Hunger Games, and us the readers are quick to pick up the spark this Covey girl had on Panem's future president.

Snow's relationship to Lucy Gray Baird developed an entire new persona of him. His usual hateful and ambitious character he usually has when talking to the likes of Sejanus or Dean Highbottom is gone when he's with Lucy Gray. That scared me at the beginning, because it sort of made Snow empathize-able and also low-key made me ship him with Lucy Gray. But then I realized something, and you should keep this in mind when reading this book too; we already know Snow is evil, we genuinely know the book won't have a happy ending and we know there's no lovely future with Lucy Gray Baird. So, that means this book is not about a love story, or the games themselves. It is about how quickly a highschool boy can develop a dictator's ideology and how quickly the media can make something as horrible as the hunger games an entertaining show.

I particularly liked this bit about the hunger games in the book, to see this entirely different perspective of the games, not only on how they used to be organized, but on how they were seen by the people of the Capitol. To think many of them used to even hate them and find them gross is just proof that anything dressed nicely can fool the vanity of the people.

But back to Snow, I want to emphasize on the point that evil is not born, it is made. Snow did not develop his ideas by himself. Dr. Gaul was clearly pulling his strings. Feeding him with her ideology and pushing the little things we all think in the darkest part of our hearts to the surface, Making Snow justify them as necessary. Maybe he had evil in him, but it was Dr. Gaul who shaped it to the man he became. And Snow didn't let her down, because at the end, it is our actions who define us, not our words. And he proved to live by his evil ideas (rip Sejanus, we will always miss you even though you were a drama queen)

And I think Snow developed this mindset ^^ towards the ending. What he had with Lucy Gray Baird had the potential of becoming something lovely, but it was merely something based on a crush. Ladies and lads, do not be fooled by kisses! Snow became gradually possessive about Lucy Gray as the story developed, because he was also settling on his idea about control. But Lucy Gray is someone so spontaneous and free that it seemed impossible to chain her up. He may have loved her the most, but the impossibility of controlling her led him to a choice, to leave her or to destroy his ideology by staying with her. So he grew to hate her, as he hated his incapacity to control the Mockingjays... As he hated Katniss Everdeen

His desire to control everything blinded him. Desperately clinging to his lucky card that Snow lands on top, he forgot one thing:

The show's not over until the Mockingjay sings

Overall, the book has some cool hooking moments, but is quite slow when sometimes it shouldn't be. I definitely think it could've been a little shorter than it is. There are some events in the plot that feel fanfiction-ish, like the "rebel explosion" in the arena before the games, still trying to decipher the need of that one. Most of the characters names are incredibly hard to pronounce and remember. And I feel the ending was a little too rushed. I am not a fan of the way Collins writes epilogues tbh, but she's still a genius queen. The loose ends on Lucy Gray bothered me at first, but as someone pointed out, she is a mystery herself, no wonder her ending is one as well.

I loved to see this new ambiance of an almost defeated capitol and how the games used to be. Loved Tigris' moments which only add more fire to how Snow treated her years later. Lucy Gray is what I aspire to be and I also loved all the backstory Collins gave to all secondary characters.

The plot is well driven and the story, while slow, can be very hooking.

.

Rating: 8/10

[greedy-fox]

Mangas that I consider classics Part 3

The Kawai Complex Guide to Manors and Hostel Behavior

After his parents transferred to a different location because of work, newly independent high school freshman Kazunari Usa moves into boarding house called the Kawaii Complex upon his mother's request. On an even higher note, Kazunari is going to be living under the same roof as his high school crush Ritsu (who is his senpai). 

But what he did not realize was that the rest of the tenant are a bit “unique” to put it mildly. His male roommate, Shirosaki is novelist (and a pervert). As for the rest of the tenants who are all female, we have Mayumi who is a bodacious elder office lady, who is a crazy drunk and has terrible luck when it comes to love, and on the other side we have college student Sayaka, she might seem innocent but don’t be fooled by exterior image. Last but not least we have Ritsu who I said before is Kazunari’s crush but only social capacity she has is when she is reading novels. 

After getting to know his fellow tenants, Kazunari was obviously petrified at first, but soon gets used to life at Kawaii Complex. I mean who wouldn’t get used to it when everyday is a literal adventure and slowly gets closes the relationship with his crush. 

This manga was and still is comedy gold. Every chapter is just gets me excited to see what the tenants will do next. It’s also great how their reactions come to life on the page, not to mention the addition of the minor characters getting caught up in this groups crazy ways just sweetens the pot even further.

Mr. Fullswing 

A great sports manga in the making! The story follows a 15 year old high school student Amakuni Saruno, who is desperately trying gain a girlfriend. But with his luck, all the girls that he confesses to are crushing on the athletic club students at his school. With all the frustrations that built up inside of him, he finally decides to join a sports team. 

With the help of his friend  Kengo Sawamatsu, they have checked off every sports club the school has to offer, that’s when Saruno finally meets Nagi Torii. After helping carry a couple of training equipment with her, he finds out that Nagi is actually manager to the baseball club. That’s when it hits Saruno to join the baseball club because ends up crushing on Nagi. 

He later finds out at the tryouts that the only thing he is good at from the rest of the student trying out is that he can bat the ball ridiculously far. Thankfully in the last tryout challenge, he was able to make some comrades with Chounosuke Nezu (pitcher), Mei Inukai (pitcher), Pino Tomaru (second), Aoi Shiba (shortstop), Shinji Tatsuragawa (catcher), that form the core of a baseball team. In process, Saruno's team manages to pass the test with Saruno breaking the Muranaka record, hitting the school clock.

But even after passing the tryout, the bar keeps on being set higher with each challenge. Will Saruno be able to keep up to have the confidence in confessing to Nagi. Or will he bow out and regret even joining the baseball club in the first place. 

Another ridiculously funny manga to read. The artwork is rough but thats what makes it so charmful. 

Bakuman 

Mashiro Moritaka is a talented high school artist who has no sense of direction when it comes to making big decisions about his future. Then one day he is confronted by one of his classmates Akito Takagi. Surprised as Mashiro was by Takagi taking an interest him, what really caught him off guard was the fact that he wanted to co-author in a manga together!

Even after Takagi tried to convince him the first time, Mashiro considered “mangaka” to be a trigger word. The reason was because of how much he respected his uncle who was mangaka himself. Sadly his uncle fell under the stress and pressure of being one and killed himself in the process. 

Later on Takagi calls Mashiro saying that he is in front of his crushes house about to tell her Mashiros feeling. He then runs out the door to her house in fit of mixed emotions. When he gets there and sees her, he decided to make biggest choice of his life and tell her that he will be a mangaka. He also promises her that when he finally becomes big in the industry he would propose to her with no regret. Feeling the passion his crush confesses about her dreams of becoming an anime voice actress, and also makes the same promise!

Thanks to this youthful promise, Mashiro and Takagi go to his uncle's abandoned apartment and start creating manga with the motivation to actually be successful. And finally after being denied several mangas that they created from the company, they were publish their very first manga series!

This is one of the first five mangas that I read. I still remember being a freshman in highschool and reading this manga for the first time. I thought to myself that this was a great real life experience to learn. About the industry. About the commitment and patients it takes to finally get a bite in publishing a series. I also thought to myself that when I am finally confident in my own artwork and story telling that I would try and start publishing my own series no matter how long or tiring it took. Even if it is just one manga series I would be proud to have done that at least once in my life.

Medaka Box 

Imagine if pandora's box was outright made into a Japanese manga series. Because that what Medaka Box is all about!

Following along in the perspective Zenkichi Hitoyoshi who is childhood friends with charismatic and attractive Medaka Kurokami. As both are the first ever first-years to become the president (Medaka) and vice-president (Zenkichi) of the student council at Hakoniwa Academy. On Medakas first day as president, she institutes a ‘suggestion box’ to help with any school problem no matter how dumb it is. Along the way she gains more people to join her in her cause to making their school a better place. With their newly acquired members called  Kouki Akune and Mogana Kikaijima.

But as the story become more peaceful their school brings out a whole dark secret that not even Medaka could see coming! It seems the school has been holding dark secrets which leads Medaka, Zenkichi, and the rest to fight off genius superhumans called the ‘Abnormal’s,’ find underground lab experiments and more!

After the whole incident with the ‘Abnormal’s,’ Medaka steps down from her seat as president and decides to have as much as a high school student as she can. Sadly those peaceful days were disrupted by another huge problem that has to deal with Medakas future. 

This manga has so many overpowered character that the fight scenes become god level! I love the fights, I love the characters connections to each other! I love how Zenkichi is probably the most overpowered character in this entire even though he is as average as they come. Definitely a home run with his manga series.

Cage of Eden 

When a plane trip from Guam returning people home to Japan, something unexpectedly supernatural happens and the plane crashes. 

Protagonist Akira who was suppose to be home the next morning from his class vacation to Guam, wakes up in a jungle by himself! After coming to term with what happend and being thankful that he is alive more than anything, he comes to terms about how the plane crashed onto an uncharted island in the middle of the ocean.

He then follows a path that leads him to where the plane crashed last in hopes of finding his friends, classmates and mostly his childhood crush. After reaching the sight he find no one there and one dead pilot. Akira at this point is about to lose all hope. That is until he finds a recording thats fills in the situation as to happened while he was knocked out. At first he was ecstatic cause he found out the most of the passengers survived. But as he keeps watching he finds that the passengers were being attacked from creatures in the dark. This attack led all the passengers to scatter across the island! What’s more is that those creatures that attacked were prehistoric animals!

This was the first thriller survival manga that I read. At first when I read it I could not handle the realistic death scenes that were being drawn in the manga. So it actually took me three time of re-reading this manga from the very beginning to actually appreciate what this magaka was trying to portray. And man was the storyline so good! The only reason why I was able to have the courage to finish this manga, was because my curiosity. I could hear at the back of my head just knocking on the door shouting “HEY WHAT'S HAPPENING! I NEED TO KNOW THE ANSWERS TO WHAT IS HAPPENING!”

[acloudkat]

Gossip Girl 2.0

So. . . I was unsure of whether I was going to talk about this or not but… in the end, here we are!

I shall be talking about the Gossip Girl Reboot.

Now quick disclaimer and mild *excuse you* to HBO, please find ways to make your content accessible to Europe because there are those of us that are interested and unfortunately your "Max" service is US only and honestly i see no reasonable logic behind it. Therefore my means of getting access to this content shall not be discussed.

Extra disclaimer, there will be spoilers. Doi.

Now I am a big die hard fan of the original GG series and despite the outdated (to today’s standards) comparisons and slang, some of the topics hold up even today. For anyone curious or questioning my opinion, based on my generation, I am mildly in the middle as a Zelenial at 23. I did not grow up with GG, I learned about it when I was 14 but watched it for the first time when I was 19. Since, I have watched it up to 14-17 times; more than 10 for sure. So you can do with that as you please. The main reason I mention this is due to some articles and comments pointing out that maybe it’s a “Gen Z only media” or that “Millennials are just bitter cause it’s not theirs”. Keeping that in mind I will be as per usual showing the ups and downs of the show (so far and later on) from my own personal perspective.

After watching ep 1. (& now 2 which will be in a separate post after this) I have a few questions, comments AND concerns. So let’s get into those shall we :)

So let's do a little round up of our characters.

We have newcomer Zoya Lott that is moving to NYC on a Constance scholarship! But little did anyone in the show know, it was all a plot to get to be with her *half sister*. WHAT?! So the tldl on that is that Zoya and our other main character, Julien Calloway, share a mom! Mom, that i quote "left Julien's dad for Zoya's dad and the dads hate each other" because of which hate, they had absolutely forbidden their daughters from communicating. One thing led to another, a friend request was sent and this is basically the parent trap. . . . but for the kids. . .and they're aware of it cause they made it. . . I suppose? The parents haven't really been mentioned to matter in their plan, however, they do keep bringing up their middle names as "Zoya Jane and Julien Elizabeth" as clues left by their mother? Now some rumours around the web have connected the names to the Pride and Prejudice novels and while that would be extremely Gossip Girl-esque to do, and I am entirely up for that, hell yea!!! I'm wondering if it's as simple as... their mother's name was Elizabeth Jane... but maybe GG will be the one to discover that secret first? Other than that, Zoya is very much a very trusting "innocent type" character that probably has more past than we know about so it will be quite interesting to see how that elaborates going further into the series.

Then there is self-made influencer Julien Calloway. She is the new version of queen at Constance but as stated, they "don't do the patriarchy anymore". While she appears all smiles and kindness, personally i feel as if JC is kind of fake? She has things she cares about yes, but the moment someone or something interferes with her followers and her social standing or Obie (more on him later)

"the gloves come off and the claws come out" - Serena Van der Woodsen

When it comes to Julien I am honestly more curious to see who she is once you take away the followers and the media. Will she be an actual person or just a shallow obsessed spoiled brat? I just hope it won't be the typical story of "have to be perfect and have to have everyone like me because my mom left" ie. has mommy issues. That is how that cliche goes after all. So I am greatly hoping that's not going to be it for this one.

Obie Bergmann! We get introduced to Obie as Julien's boyfriend. Throughout ep 1, the things we learn about Obie are that he is basically the richest in the group, and lives in Dumbo. (irony from original GG for anyone that can guess it). He appears like a super nice and kind dude, a supportive boyfriend, kind of bland and tired of the relationship but the main thing that bothers me about him so far is his impossible to ignore "white guilt syndrome". For anyone unaware, "white guilt" is "remorse or shame felt by a white person with respect to racial inequality and injustice". While it's not a bad thing trying to make up for the in-equality in the world, here's hoping that's not his entire character cus that would get old quick.

Then we have the bestie, Audrey Hope. Audrey. . . is cold but to the point. Very analysing and observing. Definitely the type of character that would take all the info first and decide what to do after. I both like and am confused by her? Her cold mannerisms are quite enjoyable among the masses of drama and emotion I won't lie. However, i do predict a juicy threesome between her, boyfriend Aki and one Max Wolfe. Honestly, I am highly interested in how their relationship evolves.

Aki Menzies is kind of a mystery as of the moment. As to be expected with just 1 episode, we won't know too much about all the characters. He is the very supportive boyfriend that tries to keep the peace between everyone.

Max Wolfe on the other hand appears like the much more flamboyant version of Chuck Bass, if Chuck Bass had a supportive family environment and no limits on who he's dating. That's more or less for him but kuddos for his 0 hesitation to basically have a pic of his dick sent to everyone. I will never not find that hilarious. But again, between these three is my prediction for some juicy interactions. Cause to be fully honest, the chemistry is undeniable.

Monet de Haan. Ah. She is honestly the savage that we need around here. She is the control and the power behind Julien's brand honestly. I am curious how come she helps Julien with her brand rather than have her own? If we go off anything said in the episode, she is more feared than adored so maybe that's why? But Monet honey, fear can also have a following, just . . a different one.

And then there's Luna La, "The stylist" while we don't know much about her, some of her one liners are actively giving me life. Her and Monet are definitely a package deal and i wonder if there is juicier gossip there that we don't know yet.

Lastly, we have our new Gossip Girl. Young teacher, Kate Keller. I won't lie, i did not see us knowing who GG is from the get go. I am however wondering whether this will drag her down to the level of highschoolers (besides the fact that she looks younger than some of them xD) Something that is bothering me in the reboot however, is that technically, characters that represent adults, spying on minors??? Like they even make the point that "i shouldn't have these, i should be in jail" in regards to having almost naked pictures of the kids. Like it's not really okay??? In the original yea no one knew who GG was but they always knew it was someone their age. The teachers didn't care at those times. But they do now and I am not fully sure how okay it is.

And of course, the extras like some of the other teachers behind GG and the parents. We however, don't know too much about them as of now so we shall see soon. If any new characters are introduced they will be addressed but for now, onto the episode!

The half sisters plot is definitely interesting so I would love to know where the whole middle names thing will go. The story line I'm most interested in at the moment however is between Audrey, Max and Aki. I want to see that unwind into something horrendous but then beautiful! It has so much potential in my opinion. In terms of character development however i want to see who Julien is without all of her fame and followers. When the focus is not the media and the attention. I want to see that Julien.

The first episode definitely introduced us to a lot of things at once so far that is my take on them. I'm sure that in the future both the teachers and parents will be a bigger part but one thing is abundantly clear. Unlike the OGGG, there won't be more than maybe 2-3 seasons depending on the ages of the students. The teachers won't follow them onto college will they? Or will things drastically change along the way? It was rather amusing seeing them talk about all the old characters however, and reference the OG Gossip Girl. I am vaguely offended that they categorised twitter as "a glorified chatroom for memes for people over 30". Like dude. . . that hit me hard. I am happy that FB was never even mentioned as existing tho! Cause let's be honest that is not the "hip" thing anymore. But the rules they put down at the party definitely made my head spin. Had to listen to them twice to even get what was happening.

But that's probably enough of me babbling on about this xD If you want to find this on an apparently dying type of media, here's my blog post about it as well lol: https://acloudkat.wordpress.com/?p=960

[nissakii]

What do Mystic Messenger characters represent in society? [MysMe]

Mystic Messenger which is a game filled with a lot of action, drama and some sort of romance is still really close to our reality.

Especially the characters represent a lot of us and the many different situations people can be in and suffer from, as every and each of them offers us a route in which we can see more of the character and help them to achieve their ending (or not if you are curious to get the bad endings).

Yet what do those characters represent in our usual lives?

Where do we see each and every one of these characters in our society?

In the following blog post, we will see that every character shows us a certain place and piece of our reality that Cheritz put in their game.

Yoosung Kim

Starting with the youngest member of RFA let’s take the one who hasn't experienced the world of work yet.

As an uni student Yoosung is the very representation of someone who isn’t sure where life could lead him after achieving one big goal: getting into university.

Because despite the fact that standing on one’s own feet starts at that phase in life it is mostly the time where many feel lost as they see themselves stuck in their current life.

And Yoosung is one of those many cases that represent those people in Mystic Messenger.

Living alone for the first time and suddenly feeling the overwhelming force of being responsible for his own mistakes, he sees the sudden challenges of life that come with it.

On top of that with the death of his cousin Rika which he loved so dearly, nobody is very considerate of his feelings, depression and sadness that still lingers inside of him despite that they all claim it is understandable.

His dream job as a vet that was closely tied to the death of Rika’s dog is the more unattainable and painful to think about after the events as he requestions the morals and standards of society.

Being in the age of constantly being expected to give good results and succeed in order to become valuable to society’s standards, he starts to realize how unfair the chances in life are as he compares himself to Jumin Han who was born rich and with his future already set.

We already discussed a lot about Yoosung’s insecurities and general character in another blogpost, but referring to it Yoosung constantly sees no value in whatever he does beside in helping the RFA which as well due to the death of Rika became inactive until MC appeared.

When someone stops to value what he does or sees no merit in it, there are always the questions:

Why did I start this anyway?

What is the whole purpose of this?

Maybe it’s not for me?

And with those questions, with the heavy burden of a private life and social circles that also have a place in one’s life, sometimes there is a need to escape them all.

As a student just running away or taking holidays is not that easy leaving a bunch of responsibilities behind, so the next best way to stop thinking about the life around you is, immersing into another life- gaming.

Gaming may be a good coping mechanism but also a big threat for those who want to constantly flee from their reality slowly developing a game addiction without realizing, just like Yoosung slowly started to lose himself in LOLOL.

Studying, sorrow, wanting to flee but also wanting to become someone standing on stable footing.

They are all parts of finding oneself in the process, going through the harsh times of slowly diving into the world of adults and that is what Yoosung represents - the start of a new phase in life, probably one of the harshest.

Jaehee Kang 

Close, but still more experienced would be Jaehee Kang the only female of the RFA next to the MC, a chief secretary at C&R and  also the assistant of Jumin Han.

Jaehee is someone seen as a prime example and role-model, being a stable career woman who achieved a lot in her life and has a fairly high income to support herself.

In society’s eyes she is someone who contributes to success and as she is even an early top university graduate for which she got a scholarship in highschool making her extremely diligent and intelligent since her childhood.

Yet Jaehee gave up a lot to be in the position she is right now, she even cut her long hair and wears glasses despite her good vision since it is part of the demands Jumin made for the job as his secretary.

As she said herself her work contains a lot of tasks which some of them she isn’t even supposed to do and go beyond her ordinary secretary job, yet she does them and doesn’t complain since she gets paid for it.

In Zen’s DVD she tried to find a bit of happiness in her daily monotone routine as she works day in and day out, where she even eats out a lot and until late hours, having to take care of her boss’s cat when asked to.

In one of the chats in which Jaehee and Yoosung are talking about how successful and stable Jaehee is unlike Yoosung who is still feeling lost and doesn’t have that stability in life which she wouldn’t understand.

Jaehee on the other hand responds that despite having a job it’s not really that what she wanted to do and that she is still wondering what it is that she actually wants to do as she mentions that she used to go hiking a lot as her hobby, showing that despite being in a good position in society Jaehee still doesn’t feel fulfilled and rather a bit trapped in her monotone working routine which she basically devoted her life to.

Jaehee represents those of who seem like they have achieved a lot and do have a place in society job-wise but are still not sure what it is what they really want to do as they live in and out of their secure routine which they maintain and people expect them to be satisfied with.

Zen

Zen or how he is called by his real name, Hyun Ryu is one of the few characters that actually went through and made his dream his actual job.

Despite his looks he did not become a model but an actor depicting many emotions and roles in which he loses himself in while giving his best to show the audience the true nature of the persona he is currently playing.

We see Zen being a bit more on the easy-going side and encouraging Yoosung for example to follow his heart and dreams like he did, since it worked out for Zen. Yoosung encounters that Zen has the looks to follow the way he wants to which he won’t deny yet it’s not the only quality Zen bears.

He is a very hard-working person, strict on himself when it comes to working out or dieting and also tends to be a workaholic engrossing himself in constant development to fulfill his dream, which is not tied to his looks. Quite contrary Zen despises the fact that some people choose him a role only fitting for his looks and even worse asking him only to model instead of acting, as he mentions that it is acting that he wants to do and not modelling.

In that way his wishes often get disrespected or disregarded due to his looks, also he is being seen as shallow which may lead to people jumping to conclusions.

We see in Zen’s route what a harsh path he had to take in order to pursue his dream, it took him a lot of sacrifice, patience and work to be where he is and it’s only the start for him.

He ran away from home since his parents did not approve of his dreams, he was not the best at school and also dropped out renting an apartment for himself struggling through hard times to survive.

But despite that he never gave up since his dream was his passion and something he did with much eagerness and seriousness, even though many may call it foolish or risky.

Zen is the best representation of the people in our society who choose to derive from the usual path striving for a stable job and take many risks to achieve their dreams.

Because of those dreams life may get a bit harder and the chances are not high, yet Zen is the best example that it takes time, sacrifices and sometimes harsh circumstances to reach that what you want to do.

He is the hard reality of chasing your dreams.

Jumin Han

More or less in our category of society, Jumin Han is a less common case of working hard to achieve a high status and standard in that sense which doesn’t make him lazy or given everything for nothing, but makes his life sure easier from a materialistic perspective.

Cue materialism the first thing that not only RFA mentions when MC enters the chatrooms in the first days but also a misunderstanding from the start is that Jumin only sees numbers and facts, wielding his money to obtain whatever he desires and living an easy life.

Sure enough, money is one of the most fundamental problems that make life much harsher when it's lacking, also it’s the main cause of many stress factors since education, work and status are all basically tied to money. 

If the world is not about money in a certain sense why are we struggling that much anyways to get amazing jobs and maybe in some cases like Jaehee give up part of our life and identity?

But Jumin is the perfect example that the rich people who exist out there or at least some of them do not rely solely on their privilege of being born rich, yet still work hard to prove their position in society as Jumin still graduated as a top student, being part of MENSA which requires high IQ to become a member of and has a policy of working as efficiently as possible.

In that sense Jumin is a talented, intelligent young man who doesn’t want to simply rely on his background but also showcase his skills as he always strives to get the best results in the company to make sure he deserves the place as the CEO in line.

Since Yoosung constantly nags and complains about Jumin’s background being a bliss and that he had a comfortable and easy life, Jumin does not tell him he might be wrong but that he simply did not decide to be born that way and still encourages Yoosung that he has good qualities which Jumin finds appealing enough to hire him as an intern, showing him that it’s still important which skills someone hones.

Yoosung is just one example of people viewing him as someone who is just lucky enough to be born rich or the unfairness of status by birth, but they do not see the the dark side of Jumin’s life as he never had any stable relationships beside V that he cherishes so much also that people only put light on his status but not the work that he himself put into, visiting lessons since childhood not growing up like a usual kid playing freely without fearing to be kidnapped.

Therefore the concept of love is quite strange for him and beside in the good ending of his own route where he finally starts to learn about it, the box of emotions Jumin holds is always hidden deep within him projecting his own weaknesses on Elizabeth the 3rd who gives him the secure form of love and loyalty.

In any other situation love is not needed in the world he grew up in since facts and cold logic represented as results of success is what the people need to see from him, mistakes are a sign of weakness and incompetence especially him who everyone is constantly watching.

Jumin represents those in society who may seem to have high status, wealth and cozy life yet struggle due to the things that cannot be merely achieved by money alone, highlighting the importance of interpersonal relationships.

Saeyoung Choi/707/Luciel

That the world is not an easy place that can be seen only as black and white shows us the next character who suffered a lot through the dark and hidden secrets that society often tries to brush under the carpet.

Saeyoung Choi and his twin brother who we will examine later, show us the cruelty hidden in a small apartment living with an abusive mother who used to beat them up, verbally abuse them as a consequence of them being the illegitimate child of the prime minister.

Since Saeyoung was the more skilled one from a young age, he was treated badly but not as worse as his brother Saeran, which left him with no choice than using his talent to save his brother.

In order to that there was only one option and it was to leave his brother behind leaving him in the hands of V and Rika to protect him while Saeyoung would study to make sure when comes back he and Saeran could run away together.

And he took that option instead of fearing to be killed by his father one day or even by his mother.

In the end Saeyoung landed in an agency which stripped him of any identity and made him work like a machine even before he turned legal due to his level of skill and intellect.

With no place to escape anymore and the only light thinking that Saeran is safe and protected from some floppy disks he has with some pictures of him, he gave into corruption but not turning bad since his intentions kept him pure.

The RFA were a little safespace for him yet Seven never had the right as he claims for that since he doesn’t even have an identity anymore being neither Saeyoung nor any other person as his jobs demands for him to constantly change names and places if needed, therefore he doesn’t even have personal data anywhere.

He even forgot who he is at some point if it wasn’t for V and the floppy disks leaving him in an identical crisis and no hope to be understood by anyone as he constantly wears a mask and never is his true self.

In his eyes his is constantly extorted by his agency and even in some routes he claims that RFA puts a heavy load of work on his back which he likes to do but there are some endings in which Seven finds out that Saeran is under bad circumstances and even worse the hacker who infiltrated RFA and wanted to get rid of him, leaving him to lose trust in the last person he had, V.

Saeyoung Choi represents those who are mistreated, used and extorted in society, forced to live a life in which they cannot decide for themselves and were left to make choices that led them to an unfavorable position instead of helping them.

He is the one showing us that the shadows exist and fear of losing existence due to being nuisance and eyesore for people who have a more favorable place in the eyes of the government.

Saeran Choi/Unknown/Ray

Last but not least the other part of the shadows, Saeran Choi also known as either Ray or Unknown.

Unlike his brother he is at first not shown to have any special talent and since childhood he was a very fragile and kind boy who was seen as weak due to his nature.

A trait that made him prone to being attacked and mistreated not only by his mother but many other people.

But starting with his mother as he was less free than Saeyoung and even tied him up to avoid that he would roam around freely, his mother used to call him weak, useless and of no value as his brother is far better than him and skilled, at least making him worth to be kept alive.

She even deprived him of food and water at times, beat him up and made sure he would know his place in the world as she describes people like us comparing him to her.

Yet Saeran always looked up and trusted his brother since he was a good-natured person despite the fact that he started to manifest the idea that he himself is useless and a burden.

Even when Saeyoung left he was sure that he had a good reason and blamed himself for being useless, but due to certain circumstances and manipulation he was told that Saeyoung ran away from him.

It took a lot of torture and brainwashing to make Saeran finally give up the idea that Saeyoung will keep his promise and never ran away from him. which he later fueled his grudge with.

Rika who used him for mint-eyes plans made sure to keep him as Ray, the one who knew that he was of no merit or value to the outside world, and the moment he would leave the place he now belonged to would be the moment people would trample him, the weak down to the ground.

She also made sure to make him believe that there is no other place for him since he is someone unstable, someone who can only bloom if he worked for mint-eye and that his skills are not needed beside in here the place that would never betray him.

As we notice in Ray’s chats, the same exact words are used when he speaks to MC as he tells her if he doesn’t succeed he would be thrown away and that the world outside is an unprotected place full of people who are cruel.

Weirdly enough in one of the chats Ray shows MC a photo of two plants that sprouted in the from the same ground, but one was almost dying while the other one bloomed as he referred to Saeyoung and himself,  noticing that the stronger one used the weaker to survive therefore he cut the stronger one and used it as a fertilizer rejecting the idea that in any kind of way the stronger could win over the weaker one even in nature’s way.

MC who can be as nice to Ray/Saeran as she wants to be, he will always bring up the fear of being left behind as he has the stigma of being unstable by himself or unusable if not finishing the job as it’s the only thing he can bring any profit in and that he is no use if he doesn’t fulfill his role as a puppet.

Saeran Choi represents the undermined and discarded people of society who were not give a chance nor an option to show their ability, but were stigmatised or manipulated to act as puppets as they are only of worth when they can fulfill the needed tasks as their weakness is something unsightly and doesn’t have a place in this world.

The weak never survives, it’s the survival of the fittest… which means if there is no merit in what he does there is no need to keep him.

Are there any other characters which you see in society that are also part of the mystic messenger cast?

Do you feel especially tied to one of the characters in one of these aspects?

Until then - I just got a message

Makii

Original Source

[fanksgirl]

c h e r r y

Yuji has always been more on the optimistic side of life, but recently life seemed to not care and try to fuck him over. If he was honest, nothing was going his way recently. He tried to smile it off, tried to not care but everything and with that he meant EVERYTHING was just going to shit right now. He really had no idea what to do about it and that's why he was seated in one of his favorite cafes right now, trying to flush his sorrow down with a milky cold latte.

He sighed, leaned his head on his right hand on the table and let bubbles explode in his drink. There weren't many people in the cafe right now, maybe because it would close in an hour or maybe because it was raining outside but that didn't stop him from letting his gaze wander absentmindedly. He spotted two highschool students working silently on an assignment, sometimes talking to each other but most of the time typing on their respective laptops. Two tables next to them sat a middle aged man in  a suit that was currently talking on the phone, he seemed stressed. 

The only other person in the cafe was the waitress that was leaning on the bar writing something down on a notebook that was laying in front of her. She was his favorite if he was honest, always nice, giving him a smile when he came in and knowing his favorite order because he has been coming here for a few weeks now. He let his gaze wander to the clock on the wall behind her. Only half an hour left and the cafe would close, he guessed he had to go home then but his thinking was interrupted by someone seating themselves on the other side of his table. He looked up, it was the waitress.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt you.. but… I wanted to ask you if you're okay today?”, she said a little embarrassed, wringing her hands under the table but trying to smile at his blank expression. He pasted on a smile and tried to look confused. “Of course, why are you asking me that?”, she looked down in her lap for a second but then looked him straight in his eyes. “It's just that you have been really quiet today and seemed to be lost in thoughts.”, she folded her hands on the table and continued. “That's just really different than usual so I thought maybe you wanted to talk about it to someone.”, he leaned back in his seat and sighed again, he was doing that alot today. “I don't really know if I want to talk to you about it, I just have alot on my mind today I guess.”, she smiled and leaned a little bit forward. “I know, we don't really know each other that well, I mean I'm just the waitress that makes your coffee every other day… but, for me it's that sometimes I want to talk to someone and can’t, because I don't want to burden the people around me that I know really well and maybe it's the same for you. Sometimes it's nice to just talk and not think about the consequences with someone you don't know that well. Maybe it can help you just to talk about what's bothering you out loud, so you can get another perspective.”

She smiled at him and to him it seemed so sincere that he unconsciously began to smile as well. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and stifled a quiet laugh. “So you think that it would help me just to talk, maybe we don't know each other that well but I also don't want to burden you with my problems. I mean not that you would start thinking about me differently and, I don't know, try to poison my drink the next time I'm coming in.”, she laughed a little and if he was honest it sounded very sweet to his ears. “Don't worry about that, I would never do that. Just… talk, if you want to. You don't have to but if my deductions are correct you would just go home after the cafe closes and think about everything on your own, just like you are doing right now and does that really help in the long run?” 

He thought a little bit about what she was saying, maybe they didn't know each other that well, but if he was honest, she was right about what she was saying. He would go home and think about everything on his own and still don't know what to do about what was going on, so he opened his mouth and just started talking about everything that was going wrong at the moment. He talked and talked and the minutes seemed to fly by, she just smiled at him and listened to what he was saying, sometimes offering him a new perspective on things that seemed more positive than what he was thinking about it. The minutes ticked by and without them noticing the other patrons of the cafe one after another left on their own way home. 

When he was finished talking they looked at the time. “Oh shit, I'm so sorry, I really didn't notice how long I was talking for.”, her shift had ended twenty minutes ago and the cafe should've been closed by now but she just smiled at him and stood up, straightened her shirt a little and waved him off with one hand. “It's okay Itadori-san, I haven't noticed as well so it's also my fault, but I really hope that you feel a little bit better after our talk.” - “To be honest I really do, thank you… Sorry, I haven't even asked for your name…”, he scratched his head and stood up as well. “It's L/N Y/N and don't worry about that, it was really nice to talk to you.”, he smiled and grabbed his jacket, she took his now empty mug and made her way over to the counter. “Thank you so much L/N-san, I don't know how I can repay you for your kindness but I'm sure I can think of something in the future.”, she just smiled. “I'm gonna go now, again thank you so much.”, he bowed his head and began leaving the cafe when he heard her voice again. “If you want to repay me, maybe we could meet up outside of my work and talk some more?”, he looked back at her, a little bit red in the face but smiling nonetheless. 

“I would really like that L/N-san!”

[korejinnie]

(THEORY) The ACTUAL Story Timeline Sequence of the BTS Universe and The Two Realms it's Separated Into.

SO, I've been theorizing for a while about the order of the MVs, and I've always felt like the order of the MVs are just... so out of order that it didn't make sense to me. Then, after I did some deeper research on Jungian theology, and also reading the book "Demian", and then also going back to watch all the BTS MVs, shortfilms, and highlight reels again, I noticed that there was a pattern:

The BTS Universe was split into two major realms:

The "Dream Realms" and the "Reality Realms".

My theory is that the MVs in these two realms happen simultaenously and often cross over each other throughout the BU storyline.

Let me explain.

Dream Realms includes MVs that depict surrealistic settings/situations (such as BS&T and Boy with Luv).

Reality Realms includes MVs that depict the reality situations happening to the boys in real life, mostly based off of "The Notes" (such as RUN and I NEED U):

Now, you may think the BU storyline begins at prologue,

but, it actually begins... with Singularity and DNA.

Why?

Well, Taehyung's solo, Singularity, may be about creating a persona to cover up one's pain, but it could also be referring to "Singularity" on a scientific spectrum: "Initial Singularity".

Initial Singularity is where everything started. Before the Big Bang and the universe exploded, there was only singularity.

And guess where the DNA mv setting is? A Galaxy/Universe

And GUESS WHAT HAPPENS IN DNA?

Exactly. An explosion.

The beginning of the Universe. The beginning of the BU storyline, begins with Singularity ending, leading to the creation of the universe with DNA.

In DNA, Hoseok and Namjoon sings,

"The evidence of destiny given to me, You're the source of my dream".

Like I said before, BU is separated into Dream and Reality realms.

DNA is the "source of my dream"

but who's?

Jungkook's dream.

This is where it all BEGIN. (WINGS shortfilm #1: BEGIN).

Now most of you may already know that WINGS is based off of the book "Demian" (if you haven't read Demian yet, you can read the summary here: https://sparknotes.com/lit/demian/sum ).

Demian presents the reflections of an older man on his childhood.

HYYH is about the journey of the boys growing up and losing their innocence, about how they learn to leave their childhood behind, which is very similar to that of what is depicted in the book "Demian".

So, just keep in mind that each shortfilm from WINGS depicts a different stage in the boys' growth from their childhood to adulthood.

Anyways, now we move on to "School days", AKA Lie + No More Dream + N.O.

During this time, the boys are probably in elementary school. This is when they begin to hide their true feelings and begin to create their own personas in order to perhaps meet their parents or society's standards of who they're supposed to be. In real life, they may seem fine, but in their mind/dreams, that's where their true thoughts and feelings come to life. As shown through N.O., No More Dream, and Lie, you see how the boys really feel about their life and school. They dislike the education system and the way they're being forced to learn through regurgitating information.

They are conflicted about their identity and their future, being told by their parents that they need to study and work hard for a future that they might not really actually want for themselves, and aren't even completely sure of yet. There's so many different possibilities that the boys dream of, such as perhaps becoming a race car driver or a detective. But again, they have no REAL dream or concept of their future. They don't know.

In LIE, Jimin also lies about his traumatic childhood and the murder he witnessed at the arboretum of one of his classmates, Choi, when he was very young. In traditional asian society, especially for boys, emotions and feelings aren't really talked about openly.

Also with the fact that Jimin's parents were never around to support him that much, since he was always pretty much staying in the hospital due to his mysterious illness that causes him to have seizures, he felt that to seem normal, he would have to hide his feelings from others.

Now uh.... this is where we get to the teenage years, where the boys are in high school

and uh... this is where they, let's be honest, start to get horny :))))))))), as seen through their superficial love for girls in Boy in Luv, Danger, and War of "Hormone".

Boy in Luv portrays the boys reality, as depicted in The Notes, the boys would hang out in a old empty classroom and spend time together there, and this is seen in the Boy in Luv MV.

You can also tell if it's the dream or reality realm based off of their outfits. In the case of Boy in Luv MV, the boys are all wearing pretty much the same student uniforms and sneakers. Typical of that of a normal highschool student in real life.

Danger and War of Hormone though... THAT's what the boys are really thinking about in their minds and dreams.

As shown through their dramatic expressions when they see a cute girl walk by and the odd black and white with the excpetion to the red and green colors in the MV, and the boys dancing in a metro station? singing about why the girl they like won't answer their text and talking and why the girl is ignoring them:

Anyways, as the boys grow up,

this is where we get to the discord era, where everything begins to fall apart, but also where the boys begin to discover who they really are.

In the original prologue, Jin took a picture with some of the other boys with his polaroid. But then, at the end of the prologue when jin took out the same polaroid picture from the previous night before, he realized that his friends wasn't in the picture.

Of course afterwards bighit deleted this scene & we never actually know why bighit deleted it.

But this leads me to question.... if Prologue was actually a a dream? perhaps Jin's dream?

If so, then Taehyung never actually jumped into the sea, and um this might actually be true.

In prologue, we see Taehyung climb up a tall platform and jump down, supposedly starting the butterfly effect and starting off the entire HYYH story.

BUT guess what?

At the very beginning of Euphoria MV, we see the exact same scene of taehyung jumping down from the platform into the sea.

And at the very end, who do we see on the platform instead?

Jin, holding a camera and pointing it down to the boys:

But then HERE'S THE THING.

Jin's camera falls down off of the platform and then it the next scene directly cuts to Taehyung falling into the water???

And the right after Jin is shown again, standing on top of the platform:

If you've watched all the MVs, you'll notice that the two characters who always stands out the most are always Jin and Taehyung. Jin films/records everything with his polaroid or camcorder, and Taehyung always seems to be the outcast of the group.

But the one thing that makes me believe that Jin is the only character to exist throughout the entire storyline, is because of "Demian", Jungian theology, and also the fact that Jin is usually ALWAYS watching everyone from a outsider's perspective.

And GUESS WHAT?

At the end of the book "Demian" (which was the book WINGS was based off of, as I mentioned earlier), the main character Sinclair realizes his two friends: Eva and Demian, are actually not real people.

He realizes that Eva and Demian are actually WITHIN him.

Eva and Demian, are actually Sinclair's Anima and Animus (which I'll talk about later when we get to the highlight reels).

So anyways, to break the confusion you might have right now. What I'm saying is that Euphoria and Prologue are happening simultaneously at the same time. Jin & Taehyung might be jumping into the water at the same time (cuz they might be the same person teehee).

And now, we get to I NEED U and Stigma.

I NEED U is the reality realm and Stigma is the dream realm, as I NEED U, despite portraying each of the boys' struggles, I NEED U is really mainly about Taehyung & his struggle after murdering his father by accident to protect his sister from their abusive drunkard father.

Because in I NEED U taehyung killed his father, in Stigma he gets caught by the police and gets sent to jail for the murder of his father:

Now we get to what I was talking about earlier: the boys meeting their animas in the higlight reels.

Each of the girls the boys spend time together in the highlight reels is their anima. In Jungian theology, a person possess both anima and animus within themselves, however the boys are only being introduced to the feminine side of their personality and psyche right now, so they haven't learned that the ultimate goal of individuation (which is pretty much the end of the BU storyline), is to learn to balance their anima and animus.

Anyways, we move on to Fire and Fake Love. So, if you've read my theory about “Dionysus' Magic Shop Deal with Abraxas”, you'll know that Dionysus might actually be the owner of the Magic Shop in Fake Love.

Since Dionysus is the god of ectsasy and wine, guess what?

The "temporary happiness" that the boys traded for with their anima objects in Fake Love, is actually sweet poison (aka drugs/alcohol).

Wonder why Japanese BS&T looks so weird? Like the boys are tripping or something? Yup! It's drugs and alcohol that's making the boys go wheewhoo psycho. It's also why Jungkook threw up in Japanese BS&T lol:

I mean what did you think they were doing having a party in RUN? With the red SOLO cups? Those SOLO cups are usually used to pour alcohol in for parties.

In RUN furniture was all over the place, there were writings all over the wall, and it was chaotic.

RUN is the reality realm, while BS&T is the dream realm. BS&T portrays what's going through the boys minds while they're partying and getting drunk on "sweet poison that's sweeter than sweet":

That's why in Japanese BS&T in the very beginning we see HYYH Taehyung looking all sleepy as if he had just woken up from a hangover.

And remember when I told you that there are cross overs between the reality realms and the dream realms? yeah, here it is:

Anyways, so then this is where we move on to the REFLECTION stage.

This is when the boys start to realize that doing drugs and drinking away their pain might not actually help them get out of this cycle of despair and misery, so they begin to reflect upon their ego and shadow.

They start thinking to themselves "hmmm something needs to change" (which is also the first step to realizing they need to love themselves!), and this is where we'll eventually reach Epiphany, when Jin finally learns that he's the one he should love in this world.

THIS BOI IS LITERALLY LOOKING INTO THE MIRROR! HIS REFLECTION! LIKE DO YOU SEE THE CONNECTION HERE?!

Alright anyways once Jin finishes singing with his amazing vocals (king seokjin vocals yes). This leads us to the Real Love stage aka turning from lust and love on the outside (which we saw in boy in luv) into love on the inside.

At this stage, Just One Day is the reality realm and Boy With Luv + Lights is the dream realm.

Just One Day has very similar lyrics to boy with luv, talking about how gently and nice they want to treat the girls they like:

We also know that Just One Day is the reality realm because the boys are wearing school uniforms just like they did in Boy in Luv And guess what? Boy with Luv is a reference to Boy in Luv. 

Alright so anyways, so Boy with Luv is what goes on inside of the boys' heads during Just One Day, singing about the girls they like in a gentle and soft way. Now, we can't talk about Boy with Luv without taking about Lights MV though, because Lights is a sequel to Boy with Luv.

Lights is essentially what happens after the boys enter the Persona theater. You can think of the theater as a person's persona, while the inside of the theater is how a person actually feels. Also through the lyrics, it's quite obvious the connections between BWL and Lights.

Alright! Now we move on to the Harmony era aka the stage where the boys' Anima and Animus finally come together at peace with one another, and the boys finally learn to balance both their anima and animus. This can be seen through MAMA and Serendipity.

Remember when I told you that WINGS is based off of the book "Demian"? And how at the very end the main character realizes that his two friends, Eva and Demian, were actually his Anima and Animus?

When Hoseok saw the painting (from Lie, since Jimin and hoseok are close friends because they always spent time together at the same hospital) turn into the mother hugging child picture, he came to realize that he didn't need to depend on anyone else to feel loved and normal.

He's spent most his entire life missing his mother and letting the pain of his mother abandoning him when he was younger suffocate and manipulate him into believing he is ill. When he finally learned to balance his anima and animus, he felt complete.

MAMA = My Anima My Animus

This is why MAMA is the only song in the entire WINGS album in all caps. It's a acronym for My Anima My Animus.

The "Her" in Love Yourself: Her Album.

It's not a girl.

It's anima.

The idea of finding oneselve's anima and balancing your anima and animus can also be seen through Jimin's solo Serendipity.

In serendipity, Jimin sings about his anima (since he's a boy and represents animus). This boy LITERALLY sings

"You are me, I am you". "Cuz you love me, and I love you."

Jimin has finally learned to love himself.

This is also why, in Love Yourself Highlight Reel '承', you see each boy and their girls having a good time together, interacting with each other and everything seems to be peaceful and happy. Heck, even Jungkook is playing the piano with yoongi again!

In chinese the word "承" means "to understand", so at this stage, the boys have finally understood the true meaning of self love.

But of course, even when you do understand the true meaning of self love, that doesn't mean you have necessarily ACHIEVED self love. There will still be more challenges and hardships to face and overcome. This can be seen in Love Yourself Highlight Reel '轉', when things start to go wrong. Each boy ends up leaving the girl they liked. The anima and animus starts to become unbalanced again.

But, this doesn't go on forever, because one day, you WILL learn to finally truly love yourself. The idea of the process of individuation is when you finally complete the map of the soul and become one with your soul, you'll become your own god and finally break out of they cycle of reincarnation.

We know Jin has reached the final stage of self love and process of individuation, because in AWAKE, we see him dropping the apple (aka the sweet poisonous apple from snow white). He let's go of the materialistic things that he used to hold on to to help him feel less painful.

Also from the wallpaper in AWAKE, we see the pattern of Abraxas: The ALL POWERFUL GOD who is beyond heaven and hell. He is beyond time and space:

The bird painting Jin was staring at, that was Abraxas' messenger:

Anyways, this is when we reach the last step before Jin goes "bye bye" forever and becomes a god and leaves the cycle of reincarnation: Young Forever.

Ever noticed why Jin is so far behind from all the other boys in Young Forever?

Exactly. He's the only real character throughout the entire storyline. Young forever is Jin looking back at all of his memories from his life and letting go of the past that had been troubling him for so long.

I mean seriously! It says "2015.04.29 ~ FOREVER" at the beginning of Young Forever.

You can see this as Jin or BTS' way of saying, even after I'm gone, we'll always be in your memories and heart forever. Sort of a reference to when BTS disbands.

Epilogue is defined as "A section or speech at the end of a book or play that serves as a comment on or a conclusion to what has happened."

And you see this comparison in similarity from AWAKE as well. Where the photos of an important item that symbolizes each stage of Jin's life is laid out across the floor and in Young Forever how strips of picture films are shown across the screen of Jin and his "friends":

"We cried a lot and laughed a lot but it was so beautiful".

The most beautiful moments of life (HYYH)... is life itself.

This is BTS' way of saying...

"We had a lot of fun memories together and it was all so beautiful, but it's time to leave. We love you forever, goodbye.”

[solar-bean]

This is the very extensive and detailed rant of a fed up black, female student of class 2020

-You are free to scroll past this if you want. I really just needed to get this off my chest. But if you have advice or are experiencing a similar situation, feel free to message me-

So first off, I haven't liked going to school since I was 9. And highschool has only deepened my loathing of it. But maybe I don't hate school in general. Maybe I just hate the schools I've gone to ( 4 in total ). This rant is about highschool specifically. Perhaps what I'm about to type is normal and I'm overreacting. But I'm tired of not talking about my problems because I'm worried that I'll sound like an ungrateful brat. Typing/ writing about my issues makes me feel better. And I really need to feel better.

So here are the main points in order of severity: Low income, Advisory, Graphic Arts and Discipline/Work Ethic

Low Income:

I've only ever gone to low income schools in my neighborhood. I hoped high school would be different but thanks to the crappy education of my old school and an even crappier selective enrollment test score, I couldn't get into the schools I wanted. Then again my single mother probably couldn't afford those other schools anyway.

My highschool shares a building with another highschool. And unfortunately they called dibs on the best features and have control of the heating and ac. We don't even have our own gym. We also have the least amount of space with the smallest class being mine of 144 seniors. So there's a lot of packed classrooms.

Speaking of having way too many students, recourses are slim as a result. Our best equipment, chromebooks, need to be reserved weeks in advance by the teacher and even then they still may not be able to get enough of them for their class. Said chromebooks can often be missing keys, not work at all or be stolen easily because of their small size.

A few other issues are terrible lunches ( I've been bringing lunch from home since sophmore year), very limited field trips, mice infestation, very few clubs ( if we have any idk ) and teachers have to pay for just about everything class related.

Advisory:

Advisories were created to prepare us for greek life in college. I honestly think it's to keep everyone in check but ok. Even so I have absolutely 0 interest in anything frat or sorority related ( no offense to those who do ) as well as many of my classmates but advisory is mandatory.

My first 2 years of advisory were hell. Most of my advisory sisters were either people I'd never talk to because we weren't in the same class, had nothing in common or they were straight up terrible people. I should mention that freshman year has the worst students because about 30% don't make to the next grade or just transfer. Most of my advisory sisters I had problems with were in that 30% ( a few had already repeated ).

Since I kept to myself there were very few incidents were I was put into a tense situation with them. The main conflicts involved our advisor, who I guarantee you was not the problem. She was essentially a poor, white, optimistic, young math teacher from out of town that was thrown to the slaughter. And my cowardly self watched not wanting to be next.

She ended up leaving by junior year so what was left of my advisory merged with another and got a new advisor. The only downside is that our new advisor is a firm believer in " sisterhood " and no cliques ( even if you converse easier with a certain group of people and advisory is already a forced clique in itself ). Maybe I'd be more up for advisory events , which we rarely have , if my advisory experience wasn't sullied so early on.

Graphic Arts:

The reason I chose my school was because it had an art class. In seventh grade I knew I wanted to have a career in art and that my talent was lacking but had potential. So you can imagine my horror when I learned that the art teacher had left once I'd gotten there.

I was sad but stayed positive and even highly recommended them to get another art teacher. Then by sophomore we got an art after school program ( 4:25 to 6 twice a week ). I managed to keep my grades the same and take the classes every week for the entire school year. I only missed about 4 days total. For once I actually enjoyed staying after school.

The class taught me so much and I didn't have to wait for the summer to take an art class downtown. Even better I got to interact with other young artists of my race ( there was usually only one other black kid at the summer classes ). Everything was finally looking up.

Then the art galleries happened. The school hosted one per semester. I brought my art to display but I couldn't stay cuz of a shitload of math homework. I got complimented the next day but still regretted not staying. So I vowed to attend the next one with even more pieces than before.

The night finally came and I was hyped. Me and two seniors were in charge of doing caricatures for free ( one senior gave me a dollar tho ). I had fun with that but noticed something weird...none of our art was displayed.

Apparently they cut it out for time along with the theatre clubs performance. And I would've been fine with that. If my family hadn't come.

The icing on the cake was when they turned off the lights in the hallway where we were drawing the caricatures so they could start the show for the performing art groups. I couldn't contact my family until the show was over and booooiii were they pissed. Especially my mom. I was more sad than anything. I had a feeling my school valued the performing art more and this just proved that. At least now we have an actual art class. And my art teacher is awesome and supportive as hell.

Discipline/ Work Ethic:

These are together cuz they've equally fucked me up. Don't get me wrong. I have a 4.2 gpa and 0 detentions.

The problem is my classmates.

I have been to soooo many class/school meetings about behavior and grade issues over the past 4 years. One of which a staff member said " now i know all of ain't bs-in' but why aren't those people helping the ones who are."

Like wow! Thanks. I hate it.

I'd be happy to help my fellow classmates. It's just that their version of help is cheating off my tests and copying my homework.

So yeah my bad. I've been sooo selfish.

I can count on my hand the amount of times I've been told that I'm doing a good job directly and not in front of a class as a way to embarrass them.

This year behavior was so bad that they made a competition to see which advisory would get the least demerits. Big mistake. My heart goes out to all the poor well behaved students who lost because of a few advisory mates. It only takes one. The record for most demerits in a day was 30 I think.

I forgot the competition was going on at some point cuz I've only gotten 2 demerits in 4 years. My advisory won second and we played the waiting game for our prize only to have a pizza party with 17 other advisories. The winning advisory was salty as hell. But hey we got free lunch at least.

I managed to get good grades simply by doing everything on time and having no social life. This was by choice really. I promised myself I'd do better in college but now I gotta study for ap.

It was actually ap literature that gave me a new perspective on my classmates work ethic. We were given a lengthy reading assignment but the due date was stretched by two class days and the weekend. Even though I'd been mentally drained lately ( by lately I mean since the 1st week of school ) and had other work to do, I completed it with slightly less annotations.

Upon the due date I discovered that I and one other classmate completed the reading. Even the valedictorian didn't do it!!! And this wasn't a one time thing either.

In fact my class is notorious for never doing work on time. I'm talking completing-a-project-in-the-class before-the-it's -due- for bad. And some people I understand. Some of them really need help and resources. But every one else. Excuses excuses. The extended due dates gave me extra free time but it made the work I completed on time feel pointless. Like I could've just not done it and not face any consequences.

I tried that and was stressed out all day to the point of doing the work anyway. School's got me whipped I guess.

So if I hate highschool so much why do I go on time everyday, miss at most 3 days a year, do my work, behave myself and study??? Simple. I'm trying to get out. Having a good gpa and test scores will get me more scholarships cuz God knows my mom can't afford art college ( I got into my first choice so yeah:). Really highschool has just been a means to an end.

I've had my good days and have made some friends but I really just wanna run to hills with my diploma in hand. And thats what's kept me going. But now we're quarantined.

And my school has decided to make work optional.....and I have all A's......

Needless to say I've barely done any work at all. If we never have to go back theres a good chance I won't. I'm so numb at this point that I don't care that we may not have a prom ( aka the only dance I was ever going to go to ).

I'm just done. Done and fed up.

But thank you to my mom, family, bestie, teachers and my classmates that actually want to have a future for keeping me going. If I don't completely give up it's thanks to you. Future me, I hope you get everything you want at art school:)

[glvernal]

Reflection

Back in March when I was trying to figure out what classes to take for the summer of 2020, a friend of mine told me about the Women's Writing Worldwide class.  She gave a brief description of the class and what she learned, along with how the class was designed with interesting readings and cool tumblr posts.  She described the class as an eye opening experience that allowed her to read interesting stories along with hearing speeches from breathtaking women defining the odds. My knowledge of the class was that it was going to be a different kind of set up for an online class but still be very informative, and it most definitely was.   From the very first reading called “The Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid, I was hooked on learning about the interesting lives of women all over. Through the different TED talks we heard about how one of the women was African American and people thought that when she came to college she would have tribal music on her Ipod, but in retrospect she had Mariah Carey. People get judged everyday for their physical features. And get treated differently and unfairly.  Personally I wanted to learn about this issue because being a girl I have experienced different treatment due to my gender.  I know that in my family the rules for me versus my older brothers are way different.  Even though compared to them I was a better student in highschool, more involved, better athlete, and more mature/responsible.  But still they were able to do more and get away with more.  I am not saying that I live in a house of hell or anything, but as I have gotten older I have been able to see the unfair treatment.  The hardest thing about this situation is that parents are always right so standing up can look to be disrespectful. 

When we started doing the commonplace project with weekly posts, finding the right picture, meme, or video on google was so fun and also entertaining. But, it was also a struggle because I put so much pressure on myself to find the perfect picture that I wanted.   I never knew finding a picture on google could take so much time and energy, but I was proven wrong.  For my personal commonplace book project finding pictures for those was shockingly easier.  I had the idea of exactly what I wanted so the distraction of other posts was not there.  For my project my idea and focus was on “The Girl” after reading it I would always come back to it. I was so shocked at what it said I sent  a picture of it to my friends saying “isn’t this just a lovely thing?” Because the short story really upset me.  People in society see women as the one who does; the cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, raising of kids, and just being looked at as weaker. But I would like to think and hope that as time changes so do peoples' opinions.    In some of my descriptions for my post I address how I take the short story as a to do list. A list that a mother would tell her daughter.  I also imagine that if the story was rewritten today it would say something a little differently.  Throughout my commonplace I address what it is like to be a girl, the treatment we receive, and how things will change in the future.  

The phrase “like a girl” is a quote that people use when someone does something wrong or bad. For example if someone regardless of gender makes a bad throw, one will say”wow you throw like a girl” When girls are just as good or even better athletes than men.  But the thing with treating others equally starts at a young age. Addressing the issue that anyone can do anything as long as they work hard in life.  I also talk about how I wish that in the future when I have kids that the phrase “like a girl” is just not a thing that people say.  The treatment that men receive makes me always question, What did they do that was so good? I mean for real what did men do that was so amazing that we allow this torture to happen. I am pretty sure that they have not done anything that is amazing or world changing that makes up for the treatment we receive on the daily.  

The one prost from my project that really stands out to me is the tree part photo. The first photo asks what do women have in common. Then the second picture answers that with saying things like; breast, nurturing, sweet, breast, and chatty.  But then the last photo says the other thing that we women all have in common.  And the thing about women is that when men see us all they see is the physical features or the activities that the majority of women take  part in.  But the real thing that we have in common is; assault, belittled, raped, dismissed, harassed, and underpaid.  Every woman has experienced two or more of those actions.  These three photos really open a new perspective, I know it did for me. What people see about us women is not what they get.  Like I stated in the beginning about the one female her ted talk addressed how due to her skin color people thought she listened to a certain type of music.  

With addressing issues regardless of it is a big issue or a small one the most important thing is “voice.”  I know personally that before this class I never really thought of women's issues, which I know is sad.  However, after this class it is almost like there is a little fire that just got lit.   And I have learned so much from listening to others voices, rather than being in a speech or reading something.  I know that I complain about the treatment I receive in my household that I think is unfair. Come to find out there are women that have it a hundred times worse than I do.  I will say that in one of my classes that I took last semester, Introduction to Cultural Anthropology, I saw videos about different tribes and villages that do not allow a woman to have any say in who she marries.  But with that being said, here in America we have the opportunity to have a voice, to stand up, show others what we are experiencing. Then why has there not been any kind of change for the treatment of women.  The idea that women do the exact same job as some man but make less, just does not make any sense to me.  It makes me think of a funny idea.  What if for a year or two the payment rule was different where women made more and men didn’t.  I know for a fact the men of America would be livid.  

The other thing that women experience on an everyday basis is that we have to be safe everywhere we go, who we talk to, and what we wear.  About a week ago I watched the movie Bombshell, which addresses the sexual harassment that women received working on Fox News.  Going to work women are getting treated like animals. All we are trying to do is get through the day and collect a paycheck.  But in the movie so many women were being sexually harassed and assaulted, for years and nothing was said.  When did we lose our voice? How did we let that happen?  So many questions, but there is not a straight answer to any of them.  

The thing that I think is the scariest and the saddest, is we have allowed this to happen for so long. The belittling is nothing, being cat called nothing.  I have been whistled at before (I was wearing a baggy T-shirt, and shorts not that fancy of an outfit) but I wanted so bad to turn around and say something like how dare you or just give them the beloved finger.  This goes back to the short story The Gil, it is like at a young age our parents have told us to turn the other cheek, or walk away. But that does absolutely nothing to the unfair treatment. The next generation of young women should be told not to stand for unfair treatment and do not let anyone talk to you as if you are nothing.  When will there be a change? When will men realize that they are not that great? Truth is without us women there would be no next generation. We destroy our bodies and experience awful pain for nine months, and what do we get in return?  Oh I know, unequal pay.  

After eight weeks of reading, watching, and annotating I can say that I walked away from this experience with a voice, a fire that is lit.  And knowledge that being a woman is one of the most challenging things, but also the best.  The thing about us women is that we are in this together. We are a team, all fighting to win the same game of equality. 

[neshabeingchildish]

23. The Future

Determined: A Chasper Fic is being wrapped up within the next couple of chapters. Thanks to all who read, reviewed, were remotely interested in this tale of sheer self indulgence for my Chasper heart.

The Future

They didn’t really have a “honeymoon is over” phase. One of the benefits of a 6 year relationship, including a 2 year engagement was that you sort of figure out most of the things to make it work in that time period. Especially if you’re as smart as Charlotte or as caring as Jasper. 

The problems that they ran into were almost exclusively work related. 

Jasper had become someone that he wasn’t sure that he wanted to be (something Charlotte warned him about when he initially accepted his internship), but he felt like he HAD to do it. She never wanted him to try to change for her, but she did appreciate that he had the desire and the potential to do so. He made the choice to be who he felt like he should be for them and a future family… and it was a little bit miserable. He had been working at the firm for a few years and for most of that time, he sold stocks, had sales meetings, and just worked himself like crazy at something boring and often uncomfortably unethical.

How had he gotten to that point, he would sometimes wonder. He rationalized that anywhere he could get his foot in the door would be some place that he would work hard, prove himself and move ahead. He was correct about that, but that fact didn’t bring him joy and neither did all of the money that he was making. Plus, Charlotte was working so much, so many fickle hours, and having a hard time at work. They weren’t seeing much of each other and even when they tried to plan their quality time together, she usually fell asleep before time was up. He didn’t mind it too much. She was still there. They just weren’t connecting like he wanted them to. He missed his wife.

He had been so eager to try to get Charlotte to settle down and to try to take care of her that he abruptly rushed into a career that he believed could sustain them, that he could also possibly be good at. Now, he realized that he should have probably figured out more about himself, instead of trying to have things together - or seem to - just because she had things together for herself. Because of that misstep, he was now trying to figure out something else that he could do, and also trying to be a good husband to an even busier wife.

Charlotte was saving lives, building artificial body parts, researching, and testing medical treatments. She had been part of a team that made several HUGE advancements in her field. And on this team, she was one of only two women, and one of only three people who were not Caucasian. Herself, three men - one Indian, one Chinese, and one Korean, and a Russian woman were the only minorities in the entire building, and they rarely worked on the same projects, so.. Basically, she was often alone and even when they were around, the microaggressions they faced were very different. From her perspective, it seemed like she frequently got the brunt of things. Because even those male counterparts seemed to forget how they were sometimes treated and they handled her with the very same attitudes. (Or they just viewed her differently, from the start) Either way, the work, while rewarding, was exhausting enough without the additional stress of her coworkers being unkind, but sometimes, they honestly seemed like they were trying to shove her out or make her quit!

Jasper began to conduct these seminars to try to tell CEO’s how to make sales jobs less hateable and while Charlotte didn’t think it would lead anywhere (she knew that if he fell on his face, she’d have them covered). He… actually did well - above and beyond what she expected and by their second anniversary, he was branching out from the firm and beginning his own career as an Executive Coach - which Charlotte didn’t even know WAS a profession, much less that it could be as lucrative as it seemed to be for him. He hardly even seemed to be working and he was starting to bring in more money than she was! She. Was. Saving. Lives… But, she was on a team saving lives. He was helping huge companies… by himself… and he was LOVING it! Sigh. 

One day, she came home particularly upset while he was finishing up some items on a PowerPoint presentation, and she was ready to either punch something, or cry, or both - but was trying to rationalize that if she did either, she might have to explain it to him. Before she could come to a decision, she felt Jasper’s hands on her waist and she jumped. She hadn’t even seen him get up. “Whoa! You okay?” He asked. She started crying and leaned against him. “Hey… Who do I have to go down there and punch?” he asked, rubbing her back.

“Nobody… I just… Why are they always so…?” She wiped her face on his shirt and squeezed him tightly. He lifted her up and went to sit back down, resting her on his lap when he did. She sniffled, “I thought that once I had my official degree and had been working there for a while that the respect would come. I thought - there’s no way that the kind of treatment that I got in highschool at my crummy job was gonna be the way that it was when I became a member of society. It’s so much worse. They don’t respect me any more than at the Man Cave, but these people are all intellectuals, so you know that it’s deliberate, that they mean it, and that they can cover it up, rationalize that it isn’t what I’m saying. And if I’m outnumbered, what then? I look either crazy or angry, which just gives everyone else more fuel to invalidate me. I HATE that place, so much! But, I fought to get there. It is a coveted placement. All of my work history is there. Every change that I’ve helped to make is related to this company. If I leave, I don’t get to take my individual merit with me and what will they say to potential employers? Probably bad things! Any time that I even so much as glance at another laboratory, they treat me like I’m trying to go sell secrets or something.”

“Why don’t you just take a little break?” He wondered.

“I can’t. It could be career suicide. By the time I get back, things have still kept moving and nobody will care to catch me up, if I can’t stay fully immersed enough, and that would defeat the entire purpose of a break. The only way that I could possibly do that is to get sick, injured, or pregnant and even then, the bounce back might keep me lagging behind…” He was staring at her. “What?”

“Just… the thought of you pregnant. It always makes me...enraptured.” 

She smiled and leaned back against him. “I mean, I’ve eventually gotta… We did say that we’d have a couple of them.”

“How about this? We work on putting a baby in you and if it doesn’t happen and you have to vent every single day, I’ll be here for you, unless I’m on my way down there to give somebody a piece of my mind. If it does, then you’ll have an excuse to get some space from them and you’ll still have work to do, because - hello, we’ll have a baby.”

“I’m not gonna argue for or against anything at the moment, but I definitely want to immediately get into the stuff that translates to working on it.”

“You wanna do some sex stuff.”

“I feel like I clearly suggested as much.”

“Yes!” 

.

It took her a couple of months to decide to stop using her birth control, and another month or so for her body to feel normal without it, and around the fourth month after this conversation, she received her news via every single pregnancy symptom imaginable and Jasper pulling out a home pregnancy test and saying, “I got a good feeling that this is it!” While her face was still in the toilet. 

Yes, he quickly realized his foolery and rushed to try to see about her, hold her hair back, etc… hunt down crackers and salt. Once she was capable, she took the test, but she already knew what it would say. She had never felt this way in her entire life! Besides, she worked in the medical field, she knew what this had to be. Positive. 

Jasper called his parents on a group call, first and spoke with them for a while, about arrangements and them coming to visit and stuff. Then, he called the Man Cave. He thought to call them first, but since it was officially a family thing, he went for his blood family first. Besides, he knew that this call would be much longer. They talked for at least a few hours and didn’t wrap it up until Piper wondered, “Is that Charlotte lurking around in the background?” Charlotte was finally out of bed! She greeted everyone, whined about there being nothing to eat (the fridge and pantry were both full, though, and started crying as she went back to bed. “Is she gonna be like that for the next few months?” Henry wondered.

“I don’t think so. She just didn’t feel good today. Threw up all morning and had to call out of work. Now, she’ll have to start setting steps in motion there to prepare for this and I think she’s just tired. I’ll have to get her something to eat, though. There’s food here, but maybe she’s having cravings? I’ll have to check, so I have to go!”

Charlotte had called her mom first, cried a lot and said that she was already tired of being pregnant, even though she had just found out. They talked for a while, then she laid down and listened to windstorms, then took a nap and woke up extremely thirsty, only to find that after drinking half a gallon of water in one sitting, she had zero gallon of food she wanted to eat. 

She flopped into the bed, crying. This was… scary. For some reason, she thought that when this happened, she’d be cool, since she had every aspect of the plan figured out and stuff, but she had not taken the way symptoms that she had only read about previously would feel. The nausea was unsettling, and she was starving, but the thought of eating anything in there for whatever reason made her feel sick, as well.Whenever Jasper came in and sat on the side of the bed next to her, she snuggled herself into his lap. “You’re hungry? What ya wanna eat?”

“I don’t know.”

“You want… some bacon and eggs?”

“No!”

“A sandwich of some sort, maybe some soup?” She considered this, but then, shook her head. “Give me a nudge, Chef’s Kiss. Italian? Chinese?”

“You know those fried turkey tenders from the food truck near the university? I want some of those, a basket of them with the chips and gravy.” She sobbed, because that was about 30 minutes away.

“Okay, well… You’ll have to ride along, if you wanna eat it fresh,” he said and began to help her into her shoes. “I think I’m gonna get something from there too.” 

She sat up and sniffled, “It’s kinda far and we have food in the house.”

“You kidding? You’re literally growing a life inside of you. Even if it’s early, it matters to me. I don’t care what you ask for, you’re gonna get it as long as you’re like this. Why not? You were already worth everything and now, you’re worth everything plus one.” He lifted her up gently, by the hands and promised, “And you always will be immeasurable to me for this.”

“More than before?” She wondered.

“Not because you weren’t enough! Because, you were already more than enough and you’ve still given me this wonderful thing. This is gonna be much harder on you than it is on me, so… I have to make it as easy on you as I have the power to. Come on, Pretty Little Thing.” He placed his hand on the small of her back and helped her to the door. 

Fried turkey tenders became her go to food. Jasper would order them for delivery almost every night so that whenever she got home, if she wanted some, they were available. She also ate a lot of chips. She would always have a family sized bag on her at all times, sometimes, multiple. 

She worked for several months, as her job technically couldn’t get rid of someone for being pregnant, but her work load definitely had to change. Even if her body wasn’t suddenly very aware of how tiring a single day in the life of her was, Jasper was always monitoring stuff. “Should you be doing that? Because at least 17 articles stated that you shouldn’t at this time…”

From the day that they found out about it, Jasper began a Junior Journal. He put everything in it pertaining to the future addition and wrote it as though he was writing to the unborn child, sort of like the affirmation journals that he and Charlotte kept, but with way more details in it. He even wrote “Father Vows.” So that it is official everything that I intend to do for you for the rest of my life… 

“Hey, Charlotte… you’re getting kinda far along now, so I was wondering if we could maybe figure out what we’re having and maybe… start thinking of names and stuff?”

“I was thinking that we were raising any children without labels and letting them tell us when they’re ready what they feel like they are, and also… I like the name Jasper.”

He smiled brightly, “I definitely like the thought of not putting any genitalia based societal pressures on them, but you know… society will, and what if they… look like a girl?”

“Jasper can be a girl’s name, if they turn out to be a girl at some point that they’re sure of. I love the name Jasper and I think it’s good for a firstborn.”

“Firstborn? You… would really do this again? You HATE being pregnant!”

“I mean… I hated the early days, definitely, but the further we come, the closer I feel to them. Now, I’m like… This is my kid in here, finishing up their formation. No longer a mass of tissue making me feel like my stomach has been kicked around. Now, they’re my little Jasper. After the initial issues, I’m grateful for them.”

.

By seven months, she was at home most of the time. Maybe being a mother could help her segway from the lab, onto somewhere that she might be valued. She was going to keep her hand to the pulse of the science community to figure that part out. Meanwhile, she was able to do most of the nursery by herself, while Jasper took on a few huge clients, including his former employer, and he began negotiations for his first business related book. 

The nursery Charlotte decided to tap into her love for art - something she rarely allowed herself a chance to do very often, because she had been so busy. But, she had been in a baby shop with her mother and saw a cute adorable Creation Story nursery set, so she basically copied that idea, but of course, with a more practical spin. Where Did I Come From? Was painted onto a very lovely sign to hang up right when you walk into the nursery, and the “creation story” along the wall was basically a reenactment of her relationship with Jasper, including some gifts and souvenirs that highlighted certain moments, like the collection of Custom Star Maps that Jasper had began getting her when they were dating and gave to her as an engagement gift. “The moment we first kissed, When you told me that you love me, The night that we… Chef’s Kissed, The night that you decided that I was worth another chance, The night that you said, “Yes.” The next one will be monumental. It’ll be one for the moment you said “I do.”

So, she hung up six custom star maps in the nursery that had a kind of space/planet type decor, stars, sun and moon and stuff on a dark purple color. The custom star maps were designed to look like what the sky looked like at the exact moments that Jasper had ordered them for. The next one, which she intended to hang next to the crib would be the moment that Jasper Jr. was born. She began calling them Jasper Jr. in her mind to differentiate between her Jaspers mentally. 

Jasper loved the idea of putting the maps in the nursery and of course, the idea of Charlotte spending hours chronicling their love on walls for their baby had him a completely mushy mess. 

Henry came over to help out and convince Charlotte to allow him to throw a Sip and See for “Baby Jasper,” which was what Henry called them.

“You got that from Real Housewives,” she said.

“Yeah, and it was fabulous. Imagine us all, dressed in all white, like an all white party or whatever and the baby in their brightest, flyest, boldest outfit and everyone is  sipping bubbly and gushing over Baby Jasper and all he wants is to you know, suck on some titty.”

“Sounds like too much and also, please do not speak of my titties in this way.”

“In the titty way?”

“STOP SAYING TITTY!” She snapped. She calmed down and said, “If you wanna throw a party, you can do the shower. I don’t think I’m having one, otherwise.”

“Your mom’s not doing one? Or Adanna?” He asked, surprised, then immediately called Piper, “Hey! Did you know that we’re supposed to be in charge of Charlotte’s Baby Shower?”

“WHAT??? Since when? Rosemary and Adanna aren’t doing it?”

“I don’t really need one,” Charlotte tried, but Henry and Piper were already in their mode. He was sending her all over the shop for different stuff that she would have to set aside for his Baby Shower vision. Charlotte laid on the couch and ate roasted nuts. They’d be at this for a while and at seven months, she was never in the mood for any of their “extra.”

.

Rosemary and Adanna had been planning a baby shower, but it was proving difficult for them because they kept having to cross out ideas that pertained to gender. Neither of them noticed how much gender related entertainment was a part of baby plans. Even with ordering gifts - Charlotte had given them a list of acceptable items, but whenever Rosemary sent her a photo to ask about something, she often declined, saying, “Something more gender neutral.” 

“You know, this kid isn’t gonna just want gender neutral stuff their whole life, right?”

“When they’re old enough to see stuff that they want and like, then it’s their choice. Right now, anything else would be imposed upon them. I just want Jasper Jr to be able to look back at baby photos of themselves and seeing their baby pictures. Too many people have told me that they look at baby pictures of a body that they didn’t feel connected to, dressed in the wrong type of clothes and playing with toys that they never would have selected for themselves. That’s heartbreaking.”

“Okay, but anybody can be a firefighter!”

“Yes, but that says fireman in training, Mom. If there’s one that says firefighter, sure. I mean, it’s weirdly worded because what baby is “training” to be a firefighter?” Rosemary hung up on her.

Adanna began sewing stuff for them. She didn’t want baby blue or baby pink items, but she accepted baby blue AND baby pink items, so whenever one of them found something that was too cute to live without, Adanna brought it home and touched it up to be a more inclusive outfit. Rosemary joked, “This baby gonna be wearing transgender flags until they can talk!”

Adanna told her, “I am so excited that you’re familiar with a trans flag!”

“Girl, I been studying all the gender neutral stuff that I can to make sure my grandbaby winds up both loved AND fierce, and a lot of the parents with gender neutral upbringing tips are either trans or have trans kids, so I got a lot of flags in my memory banks, now. Have you kept up with Pansy to make sure she’s sticking to stuff properly?”

“I try to not keep up with her as much as possible. I thought since you live in Swellview, you were on that!”

“Ugh, I don’t like her though!”

“Put Cohort on it. She’s good at being around people she doesn’t like, because she doesn’t like anybody.”

“Yeah, but she might give her gills on her face or something if she gets on her nerves too much… Which… You know what? Wouldn’t be my problem! You’re right, Sis.”

.

Charlotte spent most of her free time working on stuff that made her pregnancy easier and fussing about the fact that people didn’t think of a lot of this stuff sooner, then often sulking about the fact that they probably did, but didn’t get the support or funding to make it mainstream because their society didn’t care about reproductive care. It made her consider medical school. Sure, she had been out of college for a few years, but she still could go, and that would pave the way for her to be either away from the lab or more qualified to move to a different one. Maybe, she would be able to be a medical biochemist. She had some familiarity with it, having worked with some in her career. It wasn’t like if she became a medical biochemist she would somehow not be able to do biomedical engineering anymore. She’d be better for it, and so could maternity. Her mother kept sending her reports about the dangers Black women face in the maternity process (thinking that she was unaware or that it was helpful, when really, Charlotte knew all of this information and tried not to think about it so much as she made sure that she would have the proper treatment and care), but it DID light a fire under her about medical school!

The day of the shower, not very long before her due date, Henry and Piper took her to this spa to have a day of pampering, styled her afterwards in this all white maternity gown with one of those halo crowns and Piper did her makeup. “You look like an angel,” Henry gushed.

“A pregnant angel?” she retorted.

“Yes!” He squealed. 

They got back to her house and whenever they pulled in, she was already emotional. Dang pregnancy hormones. There were white, pink and blue flowers and balloons decorating the outside of the place and whenever she got inside, she saw a life sized statue of herself on a pedestal, wearing what she had on right now and as pregnant as she was. “What the?” She looked around, extremely confused.

“It’s my present!” Jasper cheered. She was in shock. “To you… For the…” he gestured at her belly. “It’s a gesture of tribute.” Tears were falling. Was he gonna be doing stuff like this to her for the rest of their lives?

Henry prompted her along, “She’s a little overwhelmed. Let’s get to the shower, Mama.”

Between the four of them - Adanna, Rosemary, Piper and Henry - they were able to organize a beautiful and fun gender neutral baby shower and evaluated all of the gifts beforehand, to ensure they fit the criteria. Jasper had on his crown and remained next to Charlotte the entire time. She looked happy that everyone was there, but very tired, too. His mom and stepdad showed up together. It was the first time he’d seen them together in a while, but his stepdad told him how proud of him he was and how excited he was to finally be a grandfather… Weirdness. Jasper couldn’t help but wonder if it was because he now had money, was very successful and continuously becoming moreso. But, he wasn’t gonna hold a grudge. Years of therapy made him unresentful towards the man and he did seem to genuinely want to be a grandfather. 

Craig did the photos, and the photoshoot, which included pics like Charlotte seated with various groups around her, one with her friends, with her parents, with all the parents, with all the moms, with all the dads… And in all the dads, she somehow wound up with her dad, Jasper’s dads, Ray, Schwoz and Mr. Hart. Her dad stared at the last three whenever they came forward when Craig said, “And now one with the dads!” But Charlotte took his hand into hers and just shook her head. They laughed about it and it became one of her favorites of all of the photos. 

The past nine months had been a voyage that she hadn’t expected. The future was going to be glorious.