#also its really blurry because my computer hates me long story sorry

[montied]

id in alt and below cut

[ID: The running from floating guy meme, edited so that the floating guy is art of Eugene "Doc" Roe from Band of Brothers, the running person is art of a generic US WWII soldier with motion blur to look like he's running, and the background is the forest at Bastogne covered in snow /end ID]

[mother-snake]

self preservation

@idkanameatall enjoy the angst!

to everyone, ask and the next story i write i shall tagg you if youd like so you dont miss out!

(sorry for this lengthy boi. Also, my cat missy says hello

Word count- 3769)

angst. very angsty and i dont know what else to put as a warning cause i wrote 90 precent of this around two weeks ago... please say if there is something im missing... :P

- janus helps the others but can they help him, thast baiscaly the plot-

The first person to get a slight feel for Janus’s intentions was Logan.

He had huddled himself into his room for a couple days, trying his best to make a schedule that he knew would just end up being forgotten by the others. his computer screen was blank. He hadn’t even started. The knowledge of the fact that it wasn’t going to be used stopping him. Why should he do this if it will just be disregarded? he knew they wouldn’t listen to him I he just asked for them to try and stick to the plan. They would only ignore and apologise. He’d forgive them and it would continue like that.

His eyes were heavy. He hadn’t felt like this in a long while. Not since Thomas was a teenager, when he was always being worked overtime.

He was fine. He was going to be okay. They would listen this time.

It was then that he sensed the other presence in his room. He didn’t need to turn to know that the deceitful side was there. It was six, he would always visit around this time every other day.

But when he looked at the time, he knew it was for another reason. It was three in the morning, and he had visited yesterday. so why was he here?

“lying to yourself I see Logan,” he let out a sigh, “get some rest, you’ve been in here for four days,” “I can’t, I need to get this done,” Logan muttered to himself as he stared at the screen. “Logan, your over worked, you’re tired. Continue this tomorrow, it will still be here when you wake up,” the scale covered side closed over the computer screen and stared at the logical side with a small smile.

It was then that Logan realised he had actually started crying.

Janus held a hand out to the other who took it thankfully. His legs shook as he tried to stand up. the bed looked enticing to him. He was hit by a wave of pure tiredness.

He didn’t remember falling asleep? he felt something giving off a small amount of heat and tucked himself closer. He heard a small chuckle. That wasn’t normal. he cracked his eyes open to be met with Janus smiling at him. Oh… he forgot about the other side.

He locked gazes with the other side for couple seconds before looking away with a small blush. “how do you feel?” Janus asked. “I… don’t feel anything” he stated. “that’s a lie, try again Logan,” “I… I feel better,” he did feel better, just a little bit drained but not as much as he did yesterday.

 Half an hour later they were downstairs in the kitchen. Logan being the earliest up wouldn’t be a surprise to the others, but Janus still lived over in the dark side. he had always wondered what it was like over there. He wondered if it looked anything like the light side’s commons. How many other dark sides where there.

For the first time as the kitchen light flickered on, he caught something familiar the other side was wearing. Several things actually.

“is that Virgil’s old hoodie?”

The back hoodie was one he wouldn’t forget. The green fabric around his neck acting like a scarf he recognised as Remus old sash. It was bizarre to see. But he didn’t mind.

“yes, he gave it to me when he changed his outfit,” Janus spoke as he grabbed two bowls from the coubard.

“so, the scarf I take it was Remus old sash?” he only got a nod in response.

The deceitful side put a bowl of chocolate pebbles in front of Logan who sat down at the table. The other side had a bowl of krispies. Oh, he hoped that roman didn’t think it was him that stole his cereal again.

The two ate in silence. Both found it quite pleasant, but for two different reasons.

One because he hated how loud the others could get, the other because he had some company, something he hadn’t had in a very long time.

By the time the others had come down the stairs, Janus had long gone knowing they wouldn’t take too well to his company. A small part of him was upset that the other wouldn’t stay longer.

Patton had been the first to arrive. He smiled as he saw Logan sitting at the table. the next two to come down were the twins. Both giving a loud hello to the others in the room. the last one up was Virgil. Upon entering the room, he could feel the slightly heightened anxiety coming from the logical side. He gave Patton a quick look. He must have sensed something too.

Logan looked round the now busy room and made his way over to the exit. He was aware that Virgil had left after him. So when he was tapped on the shoulder and turned to see the anxious side he just stared. “you okay specks?” “what do you mean Virgil?” “well… I can feel your anxiety coming off you for one and second you were staring at the door for a while,” “oh, I see. I didn’t mean to stare, just have a lot on my mind, still got the schedule to finish,” his voice ending in a whisper.

Virgil looked at the other. He rarely showed emotion, this must have been affecting him.

“well, take a break and watch a movie?” Virgil began, “ill let you pick,”

It wasn’t noticeable, but a small smile appeared on his face, “that sounds reasonable,”

If he had arrived in his room, he would have caught deceit sitting at his desk for a while with a smile on his face. He could feel the others emotions falling back into place from there.

--

The next was Patton. He had been known for stress baking. Every night instead of sleeping he would bake cookies. The unfortunate part of that today was the fact he had enough cookies to feed a small village.

He grumbled as he looked at the enormous pile of chocolate chip cookies, peanut flapjacks and muffins. A thought crossed his mind.

Thus, he picked up a tuber-ware box and began to fill it as much as possible.

When he knew he could get no more into it he proceeded to make his way somewhere he hadn’t thought he would ever go. the door to the dark side was black with one panel of yellow glass, but it was to blurry to see anything on the inside. He could hear however what sounded like a movie playing.

He gave the door a quick knock. The noise stopped and replaced by shuffling, the door creaked open and he was met with a yellow eye. “why aren’t you here Patton?” the voice was smooth. “I brought you something, I hope you don’t mind,” he scratched the back of his head as he lifted the rather large container up a little.

The other side looked surprised before he opened the door the rest of the way and gestured the other to come inside. he gingerly made his way and was immediately hit with the smell of fresh bread and coffee. It was a welcoming smell.

“would you like some tea?” the other asked.

Not wanting to be rude he gave a small nod. “just set it down on the coffee table, I’ll be back in a minuet,”

 True to his word he came back with a cup of tea. It was also then that Patton had seen what he was wearing. A smile appeared as he saw the dark sides toothless wonzie. It made sense, he was half way through the second movie. “you like how to train your dragon,” Patton grinned “what gave it away?” he passed the tea over and opened the box of goodies pulling out a muffin.

He grabbed the blanket and pulled it over the both of them. Patton smiled at the gesture. Soon the movie was back on. as it continued, he could hear Janus mutter almost every line that played. Then when the credits came, he sang the song. the third movie was put on. He could feel the others emotions. It was mainly happy but he could feel a deep sadness. “you okay kiddo?” he whispered. “of course, just don’t like the fact it’s the final movie, knowing it’s going to end hurts I suppose, but at least I can reply the movies,” Patton pondered that for a second.

When the movie ended Janus and Patton were both in tears. But both eventually calmed themselves. “I must ask Patton, what was the real reason you’re here?” Janus asked to the other. “don’t tell the others, but I tend to bake when I can’t sleep and I made far too much today,” Patton said. he shifted his gaze away from the others inquisitive gaze. “well the, perhaps next time if you’d like, we could do this again?” Janus spoke. “would you be alright with that? I don’t want to wake you by accident,” Patton responded. “it will be perfectly fine Patton, now I suggest you head to bed and try to get some sleep,” the window behind the tv showed that sunbeams were beginning to peak over giving the room a slight yellow huge. “alright kiddo, same goes for you, you need some sleep too,”

A couple minuets later he was back in his room. He practically collapsed as he made his way to his bed. The softness of the sheets lulling him to sleep.

--

Roman was the next. he hadn’t spoken to Janus since that incident around a month ago. it was two days after then that Remus had moved his room. But the two had connected together. Remus right now was in the imagination. Leaving him sitting in the shared room.

A sigh left his lips as he looked around the room. He just didn’t know. He wanted to apologize for making fun of the others name. but he didn’t know if he was ready to face the other. Logan, Virgil and Patton were busy as of right now, so he could easily watch some Disney for now.

That is how he found himself staring in the light sides living room at a familiar figure watering the few plants that lay around the room. he stood still for a couple second. this was fine.

“I could hear that lie from over here,” he groaned, “don’t worry ill leave if you want me to,” his voice was softer than normal, his gloved hands picked away at the bottom of his lose shirt.

“its fine, actually I would like to speak to you, if you don’t mind,” roman spoke.

Janus just sighed in response and sat down on one of the armchairs. roman sat near on the sofa, not really sure where to start. “well… I suppose I should say sorry,” roman began hesitantly, “I’m sorry I made fun of your name, that wasn’t my best moment,”

Roman shifted as the other stared at him.

“you shouldn’t be the one to apologise roman,” Janus muttered,” I was the one who manipulated you, I pushed you further than I should have. I also apologise for what I said after, I know that it was a dirty move,”

The two sat there for a while. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. But they both felt slightly better. Not as good as before but still better none the less. the silence was interrupted by Remus yelling. He was coming close. “well then, best be on my way,” Janus smiled at the other weakly. “id like to talk to you later if you wouldn’t mind Janus,” roman said, “I’d like to try out some scripts?”

The deceitful side nodded, and as soon as Remus was in the room, the other side seemed to vanish.

 Later that night, they were setting up the table. Roman stared at the table. A couple seats were empty. Not enough people to fill them up. he stood still for a couple seconds too long. Logan and Patton who had been cooking and were just beginning to put the food on the table looked between each other with worried looks. “are you okay roman?” “yes, I was just wondering if we could perhaps invite our resident snake?” their shocked looks didn’t go unnoticed. “you two have talked then,” Logan stated, getting a nod in response. “very well the, go quickly,”

Roman excitedly made his way down the halls of the mind palace. He didn’t forget where the door was. He remembered when he was younger, he used to sneak here to play with Remus.

Then the door was there. The door had changed. Instead of three different coloured glass panes there was only one.

He quickly knocked on the door. It opened a couple seconds later with Janus standing looking confused at the other. Mildly confused as he was grinning.

“I am here to invite you to dinner my good sir,” roman said as he outstretched his hand. “do the other know you’re here?” “Logan and Patton do, if that’s what you mean,” “fine, but I can leave if I want to,” he took the others hand.

The walk was silent. The noise from the kitchen getting louder. He could feel deceit start to freeze up. he gave a quick squeeze as they continued on walking.

They arrived there sooner than they imagined. Patton noting deceit gave quick wave, Logan did the same and gestured for them to sit. the previous dark sides hadn’t been facing the two so when they turned to see the scales of the other, they immediately went silent watching his every move.

Janus sat down in an empty seat next to Logan, but opposite to roman. The ex-darks only sent sharp glares to the scaled one.

The dinner was quiet, no one spoke, the tension thick enough to be cut with a knife. Eventually Janus stood up, he gave a quick goodbye before he left. Virgil let out a sigh of relief as he left the room. Remus relaxed as well. Logan looked at roman with the same expression with one another. The plate that Janus had been eating from was barely halfway eaten.

The two seemed to have a small eye discussion before Logan stood up and left as well.

The day went on semi normal from then on. Roman glanced back to where the logical side had disappeared.

 It was the next day that he saw the logical side, he was sitting in the kitchen once again. A book he hadn’t seen before in his hands. The words were covered but he did manage to find a name ‘the maze runner’.

He wasn’t normally up this early, Patton would be up before hand most days, but occasionally this ended up happening.

--

 Thomas was the next. This day was different than normal. He had meant to go on a date. But when he had arrived there was no one there, two hours later and no one had arrived.

So now he was sitting in the living room watching steven universe trying to ignore the feelings that were creeping up on him. so he was rather surprised when he felt a weight sit down next to him. He had thought it was Patton so he didn’t really mind. But if had turned to look he would have seen a figure in a black wonzie.

He was just staring at the screen, not really watching. He felt and arm wrap around him and the figure pulled him close to their chest. His eyes felt heavy as he leaned into the soft comfort of whoever I was. soon he was fast asleep.

 When he woke up, he was still lying on the sofa. It was then that he realised there was someone he was using as a warm pillow. as he cracked his eyes open, he tilted his head up to meet the face of a sleeping snake boi. to say he was surprised was an understatement, but he didn’t move in fear of waking the other side up accidentally. Thus, he stayed unmoving for another thirty minutes. it was when he felt the other shift did, he realise the other had begun to slowly wake up. Thomas sat upright to give the other some space. it was then that he realised the other was waring a wonzie as well. A toothless one that seemed to be one size to big. he smiled as the other muttered a quick good morning.

“how long were you there Janus?” Thomas asked. “since last night, you were unknowingly lying to yourself and summoned me,” he yawned. “oh sorry for that then,” “no need, I wasn’t really doing much in the first place.”

Thomas stood up and clambered over to the kitchen and took two bowls out of the coubard. When he turned to ask the other what he wanted, he found no one there. he looked at where the other had previously been and began to worry. A small part wondering what the other was planning… but another part happy that he had been there for him. maybe in the future he could repay that.

--

Remus… oh how he missed his friend. He was angry at himself for messing up what once had been a chaotic friendship. he knew his words would have an effect on the other the moment he would hear the words that had been spat like venom.

Virgil, he wouldn’t be surprised if his mother and son relationship had been torn beyond repair. He missed his dark shadow. Wished he could take those words back from their final meeting. But alas, the other wouldn’t even bat an eye in his direction anymore.

And that’s how he found himself curled up on his bed crying silent tears. He had been doing this well… it was the only thing he could do. He barely had anyone. The light sides were only just warming up to him along with Thomas. and yet his room unlike the others stayed still. And he knew why.

Virgil and Remus, they believed that the others had accepted them. They knew they had been.

Janus knew he wouldn’t be. No matter what was spoken. No matter who said the words. He was deceit. Lying was always wrong. His scales were hated. He was hated.

Then the tug. That tug he had never felt before but Virgil had described it long ago. he was being summoned. He ignored it. He wasn’t wanted. They were just going to throw his ideas to the ground and say he was lying.

Then the tug came back a little stronger. And again, and again.

He tried his best to compose himself as Soon he couldn’t block the feeling anymore and could feel himself being pulled into the real world.  He appeared in a spot next to the stairs. Logan was next to him looking at the other with a slight worried look. One you’d find if you payed close attention.

He took a deep breath before it hitched as he looked around the room. Everyone was looking at him. “may I ask why you weren’t so insistent on summoning me?” he said. “we were wondering if you were okay, we hadn’t seen you in a while and we were getting concerned,” Thomas stated, worry laced in his voice. “I’m fine, I assure you,” Janus said staring at the other.

“see I told you snake face was fine,” grumbled Virgil on the stairs. Janus winced at the harsh words. They had all seen it however, the small flinch as Virgil verbally attacked his scales.

“Janus?” Patton mumbled. “I’m FINE.”

Everyone looked wide eyed at the others outburst. Even Remus and Virgil. It wasn’t often they had seen this type of emotion coming off the other. Virgil could feel the intense spark of anxiety that had filled him as he spoke.

Remus heard his thoughts. His mother figure… god if he could stab everyone other than Janus then he definitely would.

Patton could feel the sadness roll of him the moment he had appeared. But now it was so visible it made him take a breath that he hadn’t realised he had been holding.

Logan looked at the other with wide eyes. Not expecting the only other functioning braincell to have such an outburst.

Roman just felt guilt. He knew that this was long overdue. He knew the other wasn’t fine. He knew how easy it was to hide under a facade of fake emotion. That sooner or later it would overwhelm.

“I’m sorry,” Janus whispered. he had begun to sink down when I hand caught his arm. His eyes snapped to see the logical side before being pulled into a hug by him. His embrace was tight. Janus only cried at the warmth and comfort of the other. then he could feel another join. He didn’t look up. but only cried harder. He hugged Logan back ad best as he could.

Soon he was sure that a couple more had joined in the cuddle pile.

 His eyes were heavy, but he was waking up? his eyes opened, he was sandwiched between Logan and Virgil. The ex-dark had his head tucked in the crook of his neck. Logan had an arm wrapped around his waist.

Patton and roman were on the other side of the couch. Thomas was lying with his head in Patton’s lap. Remus was spread like a starfish on the floor.

He mentally freaked out for one or two minuets before the events of yesterday came pooling into his mind. ah, they had fallen asleep watching how to train your dragon.

Everyone else was still asleep. And he knew he couldn’t move. But one thing had crossed his mind. A happy thought he hadn’t been able to think in months. was he accepted? Well, he would wait for now.

And if later he had gone back into his room and open his door, he would find a hall filled with other multi coloured doors. Well, he would smile wide and join the others for breakfast and attempt to strike a conversation with Logan, and it would lead to Virgil and Remus laughing so hard that they would fall to the ground in tears. Patton and roman would only look on in confusion. But they would still be smiling.

After all their famILY was complete.

[softblushywarbunbun]

Howl (MC x Mitsuhide)

There was a white wolf.

She didn’t know when it had gotten there or where it came from. 

Something told her that it had been there since her birth, something loud and forceful, but she shook it off. 

That couldn’t be right. 

She didn’t remember it being there since the beginning- but she did. 

She remembered both. 

Why did she remember both?

How did she remember both?

She tossed and turned restlessly in her sleep, sweat beading on her face, the wolf watching victoriously from the corner. You could almost say it was smirking, but- but that was impossible. There was no way a wolf could smirk. 

The wolf was there when she woke up, there when she fell asleep. There when she went to school, there when she came home. There when she was hurt, there when she was happy. It was there all the time. She called it Asteris. She didn’t know why, she just knew that it sounded like such a pretty name, all exotic, and its eyes reminded her of the middle of aster flowers, golden and shining, watching her at all times. She also thought it might like to have two names.It had a surprising affinity for human food, able to chomp down apples and drink soup with the best of them.

It was her companion. At least, it became her companion, after a time. 

Her parents were gone. She didn’t know where they had gone, just that she had woken up one day, and they were gone. When she asked her neighbors, they said that she had always been the only person in the house. No one else lived there. No one else had lived there as long as she had lived there. They were certain of it.

Eventually she stopped asking.

There had been a boy, one time, who hadn’t taken ‘no’ very well, and who’s hands had gotten a bit free in their placement. She had kicked him away and run home crying, and the next day, he had been gone.

When she asked about him, they didn’t know who he was. They were certain that there had never been a boy like that in their town. They asked why she wanted to know, she never explained.

She hated to admit it, but she was the tiniest bit glad he was gone.

The wolf stayed even closer to her ever since then.

She went to college. 

The wolf stayed by her side.

She went on a date. 

The wolf waited patiently by the front door for her to come home, leaping on her with a joyful yelp and licking her face all over excitedly.

She got all A's and went out to celebrate.

The wolf didn’t come near her for an hour. She could almost say it was pouting.

She graduated college and went out to celebrate. 

While out celebrating, she met someone and had a one night stand.

The wolf growled at her whenever she tried to come near him for the next week.

She got a job.

The wolf insisted on coming with her every single day.

It scared off a good percent of the people who thought they knew better than her, which she appreciated greatly, scratching him behind the ears until he was panting, tongue hanging out of his mouth.

She got a promotion.

The wolf jumped around and yipped excitedly along with her.

She met someone and brought them home, then invited them to stay the night.

The wolf broke every window in the house, yet when she saw him, he didn’t have a scratch on him.

They lived many long, happy years, her wolf and her. The wolf stayed happily by her side through everything. 

She never married. The wolf wouldn’t allow it. Every time she brought home a date, the wolf broke everything it could possibly find in the house, and healed miraculously.

Every time she stayed over at a man’s house, it ran away from home for a month at the least. 

She found that she missed it, despite all it had done to sabotage her relationships.

 It had helped her, in more ways than one. It was her best friend. Everyone at her work was too weirded out by the fact that she brought a living animal into work every single day. The only creature that had stayed by her through the mysterious disappearance of her parents and anyone who bothered her, including that one boy long ago. 

So she never married. She didn’t think it was worth losing her only friend. 

She confessed this to the wolf, and it seemed to grin victoriously.

Something was nagging at her, something insistent. It was saying again and again that something was wrong, that her wolf wasn’t normal. That nothing normal could be that… that intelligent. That sometimes it seemed a bit too human. That something was very strange about how those people had disappeared right after she had confessed tearfully to the wolf how they had bothered, bullied, humiliated her. That it was strange that she could remember both her childhood with and without the wolf. That it was strange that her parents had suddenly disappeared.

She stubbornly ignored it. She refused to believe it. It just- it just wanted the best for her, that was all. If it truly was behind the disappearance of her parents, that just proved that they weren’t good enough for her. No one was. No one but the wolf. It was the wolf and her against the world. Only them.

The world would just have to deal with it.

She reached her 60th birthday, spent the night crying about how she was getting old, how her best days were behind her.

The wolf stayed by her side the entire night, licking at her cheek in reassurance and snuffling sadly.

“You’ll stay by my side, right?” she had asked it tearfully. It nodded and woofed happily.

She smiled and hugged the wolf gratefully, letting her tears fall into its soft fur.

She reached her 70th birthday, still working. People at her work had begun asking her why she wasn’t married yet. She sat through the afternoon with her head in her hands, wondering if she was really doing something wrong, if she should really try and have relationships, if she should try and meet someone. After all, a woman at work had confided in her that her mother remarried at 80, it was not like she would be doing anything strange. 

When she suggested it to the wolf, it huffed and seemed to glare at her. Then its ears drooped sadly and it trodded huffily over to the corner where it lay there, motionless, looking over at her mournfully every few seconds.

She looked at it for a second, then began to laugh, getting up and following it over to the corner.

“Oh shh, you silly creature. I would never let someone get in between us, because- let me guess, if I did find someone, you would run away?”

The wolf nodded proudly. 

 She laughed, hugging its head to her chest. “That’s exactly why I won’t.”

She reached her 80th birthday, finally retiring with a very nice nest egg saved up. She moved into a nice little cottage in the European country. The wolf traveled with her. She refused to buy a ticket unless she could buy a second one for her wolf. She didn’t want him to be in a carrier in the back. He was worth much more than her. The people at the desk simply chalked it up to an old woman’s crazy ideas, and agreed, making her pay an extra forty dollars. She didn’t mind. He was worth it. He was always worth it.

She lived a comfortable last years there, with her wolf faithfully beside her, from morning to night. She got her groceries delivered, and didn’t own a computer, phone, or any other technology. She only went out of the house to sit on the rocking chair on the front porch, smiling calmly at the surrounding wilderness. She never took up knitting, as that was when she would have to admit to herself that she had truly moved to ‘crotchety old grandmother’ status. The wolf helped get her up in the morning, licking happily at her cheeks until she groaned and batted him away, waiting loyally by her bedside until she decided to finally get up, plodding slowly through the one-story home to the kitchen, making herself and the wolf oatmeal. The wolf jumped up onto the only other seat at the kitchen table, waiting for its meal, tongue hanging out and tail wagging happily. She set his bowl down in front of him, and he greedily slurped it down, licking the bowl clean as she watched fondly.

There was one night, during the winter, where she heard all sorts of animals outside her house, right outside her bedroom window, the wolf, previously sleeping calmly at her feet, shot up, howl joining theirs, lasting long after the others had stopped. She covered her ears and cowered away from him. So loud, too loud. It hurt. 

The wolf trailed off after a while, howl fading into growls, fading into silence. The animals had gone. He turned to her happily, tail wagging until he saw her state. 

Whining sadly, he padded forward and nosed at her cheeks. She didn’t notice that she had been crying until then. She didn’t mean to, but the howl, the howl was so angry, so sad, so many emotions at once, it had overwhelmed her. The wolf lapped at the tears, whining all the while.

She forced a smile through the tears. “I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cry, you scared me, is all.”

The wolf never howled again. Animals never came near their house ever again, except for harmless ones, squirrels, rabbits, chipmunks.

 She was woken on the night before her 96th birthday, wrinkled cheeks creasing even more in a smile as she felt a long tongue lapping at her cheeks.

“Okay, okay, stop that would you, I’m awake!” she cried, laughing and pushing the wolf away. He dutifully stepped back a few paces. She sat up slowly, expecting to have to force her aching back to support her.  But- that was strange. Her back didn’t ache anymore.

 She brought her hand up to touch her cheeks. There were no wrinkles to be found. 

Looking down at her hands, she saw them, just as young as they had looked in her twenties.

She looked back down and stifled a gasp of horror.

Her body, her old body, her 95-year-old body, was lying still below her, the chest rising no more.

She was dead. 

She was really dead.

 So, this is the Afterlife? she asked herself, looking around. Everything in her house looked the same, though slightly blurry, as if seen through a sheer curtain.

 Her eyes passed her wolf and traveled on- then snapped back.

Standing above the shape of her wolf was a man. A white-haired man, dressed foreign and ancient, eyes the same burning golden as her wolf. 

As she watched, his lips crept up in a smirk, and he stepped forward.

As soon as he did, the shape of the wolf disappeared, fading into the darkness

“Hello, my love,” he lisped, voice deep and seeming to reverberate in the empty space.

“H-Hello?” she asked, still surprised when she didn’t hear the age in her voice.

“I am Asteris,” he bowed deeply, smirk still wide. “The name you gave me, I quite like it.”

“I- You- Wha- You-” she babbled, eyes widening.

“Yes, do breathe, sweetheart. Not that it serves any purpose but to stop your rambling.” he said, sighing and reaching out a hand to caress her cheek.

She snapped back at the feel of his skin on hers, slapping his hand away. Well, attempting to. He caught it and grabbed her other wrist with his free hand.

“You- You were just a wolf! My wolf!”

His eyes flashed dangerously, and she flinched. 

 His gaze softened, but his eyes were still sharp.

“I was never just a wolf, my sweet little mouse,” he said, hand trailing slowly down to her neck, making her shiver involuntarily.

“I have been given many names, Mitsuhide, Snake God, Winter God, God of a Thousand Suns, but in truth, I am only one. I am the Nameless, spirit of the Winter, of Frost and Dark, Ice and Pain, Sadness and Snow, everything under the cold sun. And now you, my sweet, would you like to know what you are?”

She stared at him in horror. Her wolf had been a man. Her wolf wasn’t a wolf. Her wolf was a spirit. Her wolf was touching her. A man was touching her. The man-that-used-to-be-her-wolf was touching her. He was touching her neck. She was reacting to it. She was dead. She was dead and in her twenty-five year old body. She was dead. Her wolf wasn’t. Her wolf had been by her side all her life. But he hadn’t. The memories were fake. 

“Shhhh, don’t overthink too much, you’ll hurt your head,” the man- Asteris- soothed, shushing softly and using his other hand to caress her cheek. 

She nodded, then opened her mouth to speak.

“Wh- What am I?” she asked, unsure about the answer.

“You are mine.” he said forcefully, eyes flashing again. She found she didn’t mind it as much this time. “I have watched over you since you were but a screaming child, and I only found it fitting years later, to appoint myself your loyal-” he snorts, mouth twisting up into a smirk. “Watchdog.”

She stared at him.

“So- So the memories?”

His eyes widened slightly in surprise, then he laughed. “Oh my clever little mouse, I should have known that you would not fall for that. Yes, those memories were implanted in your brain by yours truly, in hopes that you might learn to love me. I am sorry about your parents, but it was a necessary sacrifice. You needed to be mine. They weren’t good for you, not as good as I am.”

 She nodded, the admission he had just given about her parents going in one ear and out the other.

“I am not sorry for that one boy, though.” His presence seemed to grow, and his eyes flickered, his voice low and growly. “He touched where he shouldn’t have.”

She nodded again, this time in agreement, and relaxed slightly. He really did want the best for her.

“Why of course I do. How could I not want the best for you?” he asked, and she jerked her head back in shock. “Ah yes, a bit of a fun fact, from the moment you lifted yourself out of your body, all of your thoughts were revealed. I can read your darkest desires, the corners of your brain you hoped to hide forever.”

He stepped forward again, laying one knee on the bed next to her, and leaning forward, kissing her forehead.

“And what I know of your deepest desires? Oh, my dear, those could fill oceans.”

His lips are soft, she thought. Her brain was overloading a bit too much to think of anything else.

“How could I not? You, who took me in, gave the Nameless a name, kept me fed and safe, loved me for who you thought I was, just a loyal-” his lip curled in distaste, “mutt.” Then he smiled again, and it was as if the sun shone once again. “But no matter about that. I have waited years, and now you are finally.” His presence grew even more, and his eyes flashed bright. “All. Mine.” 

He snorted quietly, a smirk crossing again over his features. “I fear I did act out a bit when it came to you and your… dalliances, but I think that can be excused, given the circumstances, no?” She nodded silently. 

“And never did I expect you to bow to my whims, to keep yourself single, until the day you left this Earth. I could not be happier, pet. You truly have learned what I have been trying to teach you all these years. That you, everything about you, your smile, your laugh, your tears, your body-” He fisted his hand tightly in her hair, causing her to wince slightly. “Belongs to me.”

She stared at him in amazement and hurt fear, then opened her mouth to speak.

“B- But I wasn’t alone.”

He looked at her, simply raising an eyebrow in question.

“I had you.”

He smiled widely, eyes narrowing, releasing and patting down her hair, then bringing his knee off of the bed and holding out his hand.

“Isn’t that the truth, my little lamb. You had me. And you will always have me.”

She smiled, reassured.

“Come with me?” he asked suddenly, eyes boring into hers. “Come with me and be with me forever. Be with me until time bleeds dry. Be mine for eternity. Fulfill what you have been preparing for all your life, what you have been wishing for all your life. Be all mine.”

She opened her mouth to retort, but he smiled sweetly at her, and her quip disappeared in a wash of realization that he was really her wolf. That he had been with her all this time, that she had spoken the truth, that she had never truly been alone, and she would never be alone ever again

She stared at him, soundless. A tick started near his eye, and he sighed. “Come, haven’t I been good to you? Don’t you want to repay all I’ve done? Don’t you want to be with me?”

She nodded slowly, a small smile growing on her face. 

His smile matched hers. “Good. Now, come.”

After a moment more of hesitation, she pushed herself off the bed and found herself floating for a few seconds, before she landed on the floor next to the bed. 

She reached out to take his hand, but he snatched it away at the last second.

She looked at him in confusion.

“Wha-?” she asked, a hurt look coming over her face. Didn’t he want her with him?

He shook his head at her, smiling. If she didn’t know any better, she’d almost call it cruel.

“Ah ah ah, not just yet.” he said sadly. “I want to hear you say it.”

She was completely lost now, and he sighed.

“Come on, little mouse, say it. Admit the very truth of your being. Say you’re mine.”

Her eyes widened in realization, and she smiled in relief. He did want her with him, he just wanted proof of her feelings.

She looked at her 95-year-old self, still lying motionlessly on the bed, and made a decision.

“I- I’m yours.” she admitted nervously, turning back to him.

His smile grew to impossible lengths, seeming to stretch past his cheeks, and he shuddered, eyes rolling back in his head.

“Oh, that’s good to hear.” he said, laughing. Then he held his hand out to her again, stepping closer.

“Come, little mouse. Be my prey. Let me be your God, your savior, your predator. Be mine.”

She smiled and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly, slightly scared that he was going to leave, or that she was going to wake up, and this will all have been a dream.

Thankfully, he didn’t. He simply smiled and brought her to him, enfolding her in his arms, inhaling deeply.

“You’ve always smelled delicious, my sweet, but your surrender smells even sweeter.” he murmured.

Unable to see the smirk on his face, she smiled happily and returned the embrace.

“Shall we go?” he asked.

Not waiting for her answer, he snapped his fingers, and they faded out of sight.

--------------------------------------

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So, this was originally supposed to be for a 4 seasons Ikemen Sengoku writing collab that I was doing with @ikesenhell, @ikemenprincessnaga and @ikesenlemonadestandstories, and I was supposed to go 2nd, with winter, but then I went absolutely AWOL and left them hanging, so this is me finally posting and simultaneously apologizing so many times 🙏

This is one of my favorite stories that I’ve written, and I hope you enjoy, even if it’s over a year late ;_;

[nomimits7]

Mission Bangtan | 7

Title: MISSION BANGTAN pt7

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Ratings: M

Warnings: language. Future violence. Talk of abuse.  In this chapter the reader is reminded of her past. Sensitive topics are discussed please don’t read if you are a sensitive person.

Summary: As a professional eliminator you are ordered to get rid of Bangtan. A group of trained fighters hiding behind the mask of BTS. Your mission is successful until you get to know them. Will Y/N be able to complete the mission, or will she end up protecting her target from the real danger?

My Superhero @feed-my-geek-soul... I love you <3 

Note: Introducing Z. 

“Fine, But I do need a favour from you as well.”

All seven where looking at you with unreadable expressions. They could see you wanted to trust, but they also saw how the internal battle continued and to be honest, they didn’t blame you. You’ve been through hell. You were confused and scared, but you kept a straight, serious face. They respected you for that.

“Anything Y/N. What do you need?” Jin asked. A smile made its way onto your face. You were finally going to get the truth.

“I need to know the truth behind my parents. Why were they killed and why not me? Also, I need to know why I never saw any of you at the academy. I know I’m asking much but I know you have fairly good computer skills”

“Fairly? Excuse me for interrupting, but I have excellent computer skills! I’m offended.” Jungkook said with a pout. This only made him look cute and you could not help but smile at his offended state.  The rest of the members on the other hand had no control as they all burst out in laughter at the youngest’s protest to your statement.

Oh boy, you were scared to the bone to meet this woman. They seem to trust her but you on the other hand hate meeting strangers. The last time you willingly trusted a stranger he raped you on your sixteenth birthday.

“W-who exactly is this woman? Can she really be trusted?” you hesitantly asked.

“Well, her name is Z (Zee). Or that’s what she said her name is. We do trust her but still you need to be on your guard. This woman can be dangerous and when you meet her, you’ll see why we say so. But don’t worry, she’ll be nice to you. To be quite honest, she’s been through a similar situation as yourself only it was her father that did the raping and not a stranger. Still trust was broken so she’ll understand you.” Namjoon said.

“Do I need to tell her my story?”

“No, leave that to us. You went through it once, no need to go through it a second time in one week. And even though we know you don’t trust us, yet…. we’ll be close by your side through the whole ordeal.” Yoongi said. His word made you smile. Maybe for the first time in your life you’ll be able to trust not one but seven men. You really needed that in your life.

On your way to this mysterious Z, the boys were kind enough to inform you that you were in fact in South Korea. Very far from your home country. You learned a lot about their cultures and way of life. They also told you that they chose South Korea as a safe haven because it’s far enough to be under Patrick’s radar. He never paid mind to the smaller things in life and a smaller country was no exception. Unfortunately, he found them when they left their safe haven. And that’s when the task of kill or be killed started for both parties. For some or other odd reason, Patrick never could follow their tracks back to Korea.

You wanted to be mad at them for taking you so far away from home, but on the other side you were grateful. Pulling up to the building were Z was, you couldn’t help but notice the area. It looked dangerous to even breathe. Not that you liked judging things by appearances but the graffiti on the wall saying ‘Prepare to die, bitch’ was a big clue.

“She chose this neighbourhood because it looks shady, but this place is the safest place you can get. Don’t worry, this all will be over sooner than you think.” Hoseok reassured you.

The first thing you noticed as you walked into the building was the change of scenery. This place felt warm, bright walls, open living area and a delicious smell meeting your nose. A middle-aged woman approached you all with caution. She was small, yet her eyes were intimidating.

“Welcome back boys haven’t seen you seven in a while. And who might this small thing be?” The woman gave you a once over, starting at your feet and only ending when her piercing eyes locked unto yours. She was trying to get a read on you, trying to judge how trustworthy you might be. You made sure to keep eye contact as she scanned your small form. You refused to snap under her strong gaze.

“Z, it so good to see you again. This is Y/N and she need cleansing.” Namjoon said. So, this is Z. She seemed like a nice lady, but somethings not right. You didn’t know what, but this woman could not be trusted.

“Y/N? Why does that name ring a bell? Okay, spill it. Who exactly is this and why did you bring an eliminator into my house?” Z was clearly angry at the boys. Maybe she got the same vibe from you as you got from her.

After the boys calmed Z down and filled her in on the latest, her whole attitude toward you changed. This was supposed to put you at ease, but it only made you nervous. You had no idea what this woman was capable of or what she had in mind for you. Bottomline was you just can’t trust her. Something about her was screaming at you to get away.

You pulled Taehyung aside, away from the others. “Tae, do you all really trust this woman? I get a strange feeling from her and I honestly don’t like it”

“Y/N, to be honest I don’t know if we can or should trust her, but she helped us when we needed help the most. We owe her our freedom. Besides its not like we have another choice” Tae answers back. This was not the answer you wanted. AT ALL.

“Y/N! There’s only one way to get yourself back and that’s to let go of all the emotions you buried the past 13 years. And the best way and fastest way to do that is through fighting.” Z was stepping towards you as she said these words. An uncomfortable hint of intimidation behind her eyes.

When Z told you, you were going to fight you thought one fight was going to be all you needed. Well, Z had other plans.

You found yourself in a room with a very strong looking man. This man was supposed to fight you until one of you were brought to submission. This was going to be a piece of cake…

The fact that this man was smirking at you made you laugh. You couldn’t blame him to be honest, you were so small compared to his built. His arms and legs were huge. He probably thought he had the upper hand and that you wouldn’t even last two minutes. Poor boy didn’t know what was coming for him.

He darted your way, you easily ducked him and left him crashing into the wall.

“Rule number 1. Never underestimate your opponent by their looks.” You said this more to yourself than anyone else, but you did in fact manage to piss this guy off. He lunged for you, you ducked and connected your elbow into his stomach. You had no choice, he might be slow, but he could still do a lot of damage if he managed to land on of his punches.

It didn’t take much to bring Bob here down for his level of skill were far below yours. Just when you thought you could relax another poor soul entered the room.

“What the hell Z? Do you want me to kill everyone you have?” Without answer you spend the next 2 hours fighting. Every fight only lasting a few minutes. What is she playing at? You were breathing heavily, your stamina was high, but two hours of non-stop fighting was taking its toll.

“I must say she surprised me so far. She looks small and quiet incapable but going for a full 2 hours is well above anyone I’ve met.” Z said. The boys were just as amazed. They knew you were more than capable of fighting, but two hours was long, maybe even for them.

“She hasn’t broken yet, has she?” Jimin asked.

“No, that’s why I’m sending in her last opponents… You” She was staring at them. None of them dared to look away.

“Me? Why me? I’m not even that strong. I know she’s tired she will still fight like hell.” Jimin said with wide eyes.

“No, not just you Jimin. All seven of you must go in now. I know you guys feel sorry for her and I get it I do. But it’s up to you to break her even if you must throw her past at her. She won’t like it and probably will try and kill you, but She’ll understand as soon as she breaks. Do what you must.” Z’s word struck them. They never thought of throwing your past back into your face. That’s not like them. But they knew they had to. For your own good.

When they first entered relieve washed over you. You were finally done and could rest, but then they closed the door and it locked. Confused you looked at them. Their faces were filled with sorrow and grief. This was not go-…

Tae lunged for you, grabbing your arm and pushing you to the ground. He leaned forward and whispered in your ear. “Forgive me Y/N. But there’s no other way to help you…” Slowly you realized what they were going to do. You started struggling. You needed to get away, away from what they had to do.

You struggled out of Tae’s grasp. Jumping to your feet you observed all seven forming a circle around you. Crap…

“Y/N, you enjoyed it when he touched you, didn’t you?” Hoseok said as he stepped forward and touched your arm softly. Images flashed in your minds eye, enraging you.

“Get away from me!” you yelled as you punched Hoseok on his right cheek, making him stumble back.

“You sat there and watched them torture and murder your parents” Namjoon piped up across from you.

“N-no, I don’t want to remember!” You yelled as you saw your parents’ lifeless eyes stare back at you.

“Y/N, did it feel good? When he fucked you?” Taehyung said.

Spinning around your sight became blurry as the rage and pain over took you, tears flowing freely down your face. You crouched, ready to strike when another voice piped up.

“How could you do nothing to save your parents?” By this time, you no longer heard the seven boys, you only heard ‘Him’. Your change didn’t go unnoticed to the seven and they took full advantage of this.

“Pathetic little girl”

“You’re a murderer”

“You enjoyed it, didn’t you?”

“Dirty little slut”

“Traitor”

“Did you even love your parents?”

“How could you?”

“Weak!”

“Helpless”

“You could have stopped them, you could have stopped him!”

“Murderer!”

“Murderer!”

“Traitor!”

“Murderer!”

“Traitor!”

Grabbing your head your eyes became wild. Your mind went on total auto pilot as your body sprang forward. You lunged for the first person in sight and started punching. Jin stumbled back as you spun around ready to pounce for your next target.

All seven started moving closer. Limiting your space as they kept verbally assaulting you.

“You enjoyed every second”

“Sadistic little bitch”

“Traitor”

“Murderer”

“How could you?”

“Nothing! You did nothing!”

“You’re just like him…”

 Grabbing your head, a blood-curling scream left your mouth, silencing the seven boys around you. You screamed until your voice went hoarse. A deadly silence entered the room as you stared into oblivion. A new wave of tears spilled from your eyes as the memories consumed your mind. Collapsing to the floor you hugged yourself as you cried for everything you lost.

Your mothers soft voice, your fathers encouraging words… your innocence… and them nothing but a black veil took hold of you, you slipped into a deep dreamless sleep for your body could no longer endure such pain.

Part 8

Tag list: @xxgothickxx @leohaili1 @sparky-isnt-a-vampire @unicornsandpinguins @goldenkookss @confusedmonkeyslut@tvehyungs-gf @unreasonable-logic @aqilahahmadx @shuuxlevi @moniebuns

[my-emotional-self]

New Beginnings Part 2 (Chris Evans x Reader)

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 5,341

Warnings: Swearing, Fluffy Goodness, Sweet Kissing

Ratings: PG-13

Summary: After your grandparents pass away, you find out they leave everything to you, including a large sum of money.  Deciding to take the advice of your grandparents, you live your life to the fullest; which means moving to Boston and bumping into Chris Evans. 

Part 1   Part 3

 Chris rose his glass to the center of the table, “To new beginnings” he toasted.  

Raising your glass to meet his, you clinked them together, “To new beginnings.”

You took a long sip of your champagne, the bubbles tickling your throat as the liquid made its way down. Champagne was always a nice little treat and this one tasted so good.  

Chris’ phone rang, “Sorry, I have to take this.  I’ll be right back” he said as he hoisted himself up and walked outside through the backdoor in your little dining room.  

Most of the time, if someone answered their phone on a date it would have annoyed you to no end.  The romantic in you would…wait…no, this isn’t a date.  Snap out of it Y/N.  This is just Chris being nice, being warm and inviting.  Helping you celebrate by getting a new home here in his hometown. But there was something in the air between you two; a sort of energy feeling that felt as if you two were connected. It was a really strong feeling and you’d only ever felt it once, with your last boyfriend.  

Your ex was a great man, a true gentleman, and a romantic like you.  It was probably why you hit it off with him so much.  Spending junior and senior year of high school attached at the hip. He took you on romantic dates, watching the sun rise early in the morning on the roof of his house, cuddled in blankets.  That first year of college was rough, he went one way, you went another.  Long distance relationships was difficult for anyone, but it put more pressure on the both of you.  By the second year of college, the two of you decided to call it quits.  It just hurt too much being away from each other. It was a very hard decision, but you ended it on good terms.  He was still one of your greatest friends. 

 The door shut and you glanced up, noticing Chris was coming back into the room.  “I’m so sorry about that, it was my mom.  I knew if I didn’t answer she would have kept calling all night” he said, his face red from slight embarrassment.  

“It’s really alright Chris, I didn’t mind” you replied with sincerity.  His eyes found yours, that same look of searching deep into your soul. You nervously bit your lip again, his tender warm eyes actually turning you on!  You had to cross your legs to put pressure where it ached.  How could this man be turning you on with just looking at you a certain way??

“Remember how I asked you earlier today, on why you decided to move here?” he questioned; you nodding your head.  “Well Y/N, if you would like, I’d love to hear the story.”

You tensed a little bit, not thinking he would actually remember you saying that.  Was he just being nice, or did he really want to know more about you?

Blush crept to your face yet again, “Do you really want to hear that story?  Or know anything about me really?  I’m kind of boring” you chuckled out, trying to show you weren’t nervous about telling him deep things about your life.  It was part of being a romantic, if you felt any type of connection with someone; you poured your heart out.  You wore your heart on your sleeve, but it was worth it to you.  If you felt that connection with someone, then why not try to see where it goes?

“Of course I want to know more about you Y/N!  Damnit, I can’t put my finger on it, but I just feel connected to you somehow, like there is an energy force pulling us together.  You fascinate me and I would love to get to know you more.”

The minute his words left his mouth, your heart started racing in your chest.  Ok, was he a mind reader or something, because this just got kind of freaky?  Freaky in a good way though.  Did he honestly feel the same way?  Did he feel that connection pulling you towards each other?  Fuck, those are some strong feelings and connections!

“I’m warning you,” you pipped up, “it’s not the happiest of stories in the world.”  He shrugged, his eyes proving that he understood where you were coming from.  

Clearing your throat, you began.  “Well, I grew up in a small little farm town in Iowa.  My parents passed away when I was 11, so my grandparents took me in and cared for me” your breath hitched in your throat just talking about it.  It had been awhile since you said those words out loud; a long time since anyone cared enough to listen.  “From a young age, I knew I was different from the rest of the children.  Instead of playing computer games, watching cartoons on Saturday morning, playing with dolls, I read books.  I have always been a bookworm; stories always enthralled me and I love to put myself into their world.  I think that’s how I ended up realizing I was a romantic.  As I grew older, I started reading more classic literature from authors such as Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte.  Their words captivated me, and I dreamed to live in a world like the ones they wrote about.”

Chris seemed enticed by your story.  He maintained eye contact the whole time, his hands folded onto the table as he leaned towards you with interest.

“My grandparents were amazing to say the least.  They were so caring and not judgmental at all.  I’ve heard horror stories of people saying how critical their grandparents were towards them.  But not my Grammy and Popop,” you said, shaking your head with a small chuckle.  “They wanted what was best for me, and that was for me to be happy.  After spending four years going to college and studying Literature, I came back home and worked in a small bookshop in town.  Most parents or grandparents would have been critical, saying it was a waste of time doing what I was doing.  But it was what I loved.  That book shop was my home, it’s where I made more dreams, it made me happy and that was all that mattered in their eyes.”

Taking a minute to gather yourself, you grabbed a napkin off the table.  You had a feeling you would need it for this next part; it always got you choked up.  “My grandparents passed away, in January of this year.  They died hours apart from each other, in their sleep, holding hands.” The tears started to make your vision blurry as your right hand dabbed underneath your eyes, stopping the tears from overflowing.  You felt something touch your left hand and you looked down to see Chris’ hands cupping yours for support.  It made your romantic heart burst; it truly felt like something out of a romance novel.

“You don’t have to keep going if this is too hard for you Y/N.  I’m sorry I brought up rough memories” the sincerity in his voice giving you goosebumps.

Shaking your head, you let him know it was alright.  “No, it’s fine Chris.  It’s just, nobody has shown this much interest in my life recently so I haven’t really talked about my family too much.  I’m ok, I promise” you said giving him a soft smile.  

His hand never left yours as you began again.  “I think I also got my romantic side from my grandparents.  I had never seen a love so strong like theirs before.  The way they even passed away, it was like something out of “The Notebook”.  It seemed as if their hearts were connected, that one couldn’t live without the other” you breathed out.  You always hoped to find a relationship like theirs one day.  “Anyways, after the funeral and everything was finished, I ended up meeting with a lawyer who arranged their wills.  They left everything to me, which was something I was prepared for. My grandparents had mentioned it to me some time ago.  But apparently they were rich; very well off.  I wouldn’t have known seeing as they raised me on the foundations of family, not money.  They also left me a letter, telling me to live my life, to live out my dreams.  So, here I am!”

Chris’ hands were still cupped around yours, making you feel warm both inside and out.  This chemistry that was going on between you was messing with your nervous system, but you didn’t mind.  It felt nice, it felt genuine.  His eyes still connected with yours, he let go of your hand to raise his glass again.  “To Grammy and Popop” he announced.

You took your lower lip between your teeth again, raising your own glass.  “Grammy and Popop” you stated, clinking your glasses for the second time that night.

“I’m sorry about your family Y/N.  You’ve been through so much in your life.  But here you are, proving to be such a strong woman through everything” Chris said, sounding proud.

“I do feel like I’ve become a stronger person.  It just gets lonely sometimes.  Both my parents were only children as was I” you sadly said.  Life was pretty lonely now.  You were all that was left of your family and while you hated to admit it, you were alone and actually a little scared by that.  

The two of you spent the rest of the night talking about anything and everything.  You were sure your laughs could be heard clearly outside. The conversation flowed effortlessly as if you were two friends who had known each other for years.  He told you all about growing up here, about his siblings and his mother.  He was close to his family, as you were yours, and you found that so endearing in any kind of relationship.  

“You aren’t the only romantic in this room ya know” he stated boldly.  His words peeked your interest and you quirked an eyebrow at him. Most men wouldn’t admit that kind of that as they thought it would show weakness and vulnerability.  But not Chris.  Chris seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve, just like you.  “I know, I’m supposed to be this macho guy, appearing in action movies.  But to be honest, being raised by my mother and having two sisters around, I grew to love the romantic side of things” he finished with a shrug.

Fuck, could this man be any more perfect!  It was as if he was gifted down from the heavens, perfectly made just for you! Your heart started to flutter at your thoughts.  Maybe this wouldn’t be just a one-time thing!  You were moving to his home state after all.

Glancing down at your watch, you noticed the time for the first time that night.  It was well after 11pm.  You know things were going good when you could get lost in time.

“Shit, I should probably be getting back to my hotel.  I have to meet my agent Kelly tomorrow to finalize the papers.”  You stood up and pulled out your wallet, intent on paying for your meal.

“Put that away silly” Chris chimed in as he laid two $100 bills on the table.  A romantic man who also tips well?  Yep, this was a dream.  You slyly pinched yourself and it hurt.  Ok, not a dream.

“Let me walk you out to your car” he said as you put your coat on.  He placed his hand gently on your lower back.  Even though it wasn’t skin on skin contact, it struck you deep to your core.  Glancing up at him, you gave him a sweet smile.

“Well, this is me” you stated when you reached your car.  Unlocking it, you opened the door and threw your purse onto the passenger side seat.  Chris stood there and watched, his hands in his pockets.  

“I had a really great time tonight Y/N.  I kind of didn’t want it to end” he said sheepishly, his nervous hand coming out of his pocket to scratch the back of his neck.  At least you weren’t the only nervous one you thought to yourself.

“Thank you Chris.  For everything you’ve done today.  I had a great time too” you replied, biting your lip in the end.  

His eyes glanced from your eyes to your lips as he let out slight sigh.  “You’ve got to stop doing that sweetheart” he said, his voice husky, sending lightning straight to your throbbing core.  

Your face became hot as you let your lip go from between your teeth.  Your heart stated to race as he moved closer to you and you could feel his breath on your face.  He leaned down, his lips barely touching yours.  You wanted this, his lips on yours.  Desire pooled in your belly as you closed your eyes, waiting for him to make the move.  

Before you knew it, his soft plump lips landed on yours with a sweet kiss.  It wasn’t a hot and passionate kiss.  No, this was soft and delicate; how a first kiss between two people should be.  The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it did its job.  You craved more the second he pulled away.

“I hope that was alright. I didn’t want to seem too forward” he softly declared as his eyes searched yours.

You hummed out happily before shaking your head.  “That was more than alright Chris.  It was perfect” you replied shyly.  

His arms opened and you embraced him, your cheek to his chest as he wrapped around you.  This felt so nice, tightly secured in his arms.

“Where is your phone?” he asked as he pulled away.  You reached behind you and grabbed your phone from your back pocket, handing it to him. He put his number into your phone and texted himself so he had yours.  “Did you maybe want to meet up tomorrow?”

You nodded your head to him, “I’d love that.”  His lips captured yours for another delicate kiss before you hopped into your car. Chris motioned for you to roll your windows down and you obliged.

“Will you text me and let me know you made it back to your hotel safely?” he asked.

Your heart fluttered at his words, knowing he was genuinely concerned for your safety.  “Of course” you answered.  He gave you a wink and went off to his car.  

Once you made it back to your hotel, you shot Chris a text letting him know you made it.  As you scrolled through your phone, you giggled at the name he put into it for you.

Y/N: Made it back, safe and sound.

You went to the bathroom and took a quick shower, the smile never fading from your face as you replayed the days’ events in your mind.  You could already tell your romantic side was falling for him, but how could it not? He was the perfect person. Someone you dreamed up from a young age. He had all the qualities you could ever hope for in a man.  

As you got out of the shower, you towel dried your hair and put on some comfy pajamas.  Snuggling up, you noticed a light flashing on your phone and couldn’t help but giggle at his text.

That Romantic Dork: Glad you made it safely.  Thank you again for a wonderful night.  Can’t wait to see you tomorrow ;)  Goodnight Y/N

It was late so you decided to forgo texting him back.  You set your alarm on your phone and fell into a blissful night’s sleep.

~~~

The next afternoon you had been stuck in Kelly’s office for a few hours, your hand cramped from signing all the paperwork.  You let out a content sigh as you signed your name for the last time that day.  

Kelly set down two garage door openers and two house keys in front of you.  “Congratulations Y/N.  You are now a homeowner” she said with a smile.

Not being able to contain yourself, you jumped up and almost knocked her over.  “Thank you Kelly so much” you squealed as he hugged you back.

Kelly congratulated you once again before you took your new keys and garage door opener and headed to your car.  

You wanted to head straight to your new house and you thought maybe Chris would like to see it too.

Y/N: Would you like to meet me at my new house and take a look at it?

You didn’t have to wait long, just a few minutes before Chris text you back.

That Romantic Dork: I would love to!

You texted him the address and told him you’d be there in about thirty minutes.  The drive felt longer than the first time you drove to Sudbury.  It was probably because of the fact that you knew you would see Chris again.  You felt like a giddy school girl, wiggling in your seat, a shit eating grin on your face the whole time you drove to your new home.

As you pulled into the long driveway, you noticed Chris was already there, admiring the outside of your house.  He heard your car and turned around, giving you that dazzling million dollar smile.  

Once you stopped and parked your car, Chris came over to open your door.  Gathering your purse in your hands you climbed out only to have your lips crushed onto another set of lips.  Chris kissed you with hunger this time, but still kept it classy.  Your lips parted as his did, moving in synch together.  He pulled away as you both breathed heavily, losing air from the kiss.  Fuck, you could already feel yourself getting wet just from that kiss.  

“Sorry,” Chris started to say, “I just really needed to kiss you.”

You giggled at his words, “Hey, I’m not complaining.”

You grabbed his hand into yours, “Come on, let me give you a tour of my new house.”

You showed him all around the house.  The living room, kitchen, backyard, indoor hot tub and sauna, and your new favorite room, the small bedroom that would be your reading nook.  He maintained body contact with you the whole time.  His hand in yours, his arm around your shoulder or waist. It felt heavenly and divine.  You felt light-headed just being close to him and inhaling his scent.  It was as if you were a dog in heat and needed him to devour your body.  But you had to decency to wait as you never rushed things intimately before and you wouldn’t start now.  

The house was bare and each word you or Chris said echoed.  As you finished giving him the tour, you made your way back to kitchen and hoisted yourself up on the counter.  There was no furniture and you just wanted to sit down for a bit.

“So, what’s the next part of your plan?” Chris asked as he slid up to you and in between your legs, resting his hands on your thighs.  Desire started to pool in your belly again at this cross proximity of him.  Your legs on instinct wrapped around the back of his legs, pulling him a bit closer to you.  

“Well, I rearranged my flight so I actually leave tomorrow morning to go back to Iowa.  I honestly didn’t think finding a house and getting everything done would only take two days” you said, looking up at Chris and seeing disappointment flash in his eyes.  

“When will you be back?” he asked his voice soft as his hands rubbed up and down your thighs. Fuck, what was he doing to you? All you wanted to do was to jump his bones right here in your kitchen.  You had never been this instantly turned on by someone before, and it wasn’t because he was an actor.  No, that didn’t come into play at all.  To you, Chris was just a normal guy, with a different kind of job.  It was this connection pulling you to him, his energy felt so raw and genuine.  

“Hopefully soon.  I talked to one of my best friends back in Iowa this morning.  I asked her if she wanted to rent out my grandparents’ house and she happily agreed. She has a husband and two little kids and was looking for a bigger house.  So all I really have to do is pack up, hire some moving guys to drive the UHAUL, and drive myself in my car back over here” you stated easily.  It wouldn’t take you long to pack, now that you had a new home here.  When it came down to it, you could have the house packed within a two, maybe three days tops.  It was the drive back to Massachusetts that would be the worst part.  You let out a frustrated sigh.

“Hey, what’s wrong” Chris asked as his finger came underneath your chin, tilting your head up to face him.  

“It’s just the drive back here.  I’m not particularly looking forward to it” you said giving him a shrug and a weak smile.

“Cm’ere” he said gathering you into his arms as your chin rested on his shoulder.  “Everything will work out smoothly and hopefully in a week you’ll be back here, moving into your new house.”

His voice soothed you and you let out a light chuckle as you scratched his back.  You still didn’t know where it left you and him.  Were you two just friends even though the kiss felt like more than that?  Would he still want you around him when you moved here permanently?  You had to know the answers so you took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly.

“Can I uhh, ask you something” you asked hesitantly.  Chris pulled away from you, cupping your face.

“Anything” he breathed out.

Your eyes glanced down shyly, nervous of how he would react.  “This” you started to say, pointing between you and him, “Is this a one-time thing?  Or are you going to want to see me when I move here permanently?”  

His eyes widened at your words, his head moving forward to capture your lips to his.  The kiss sent your body into overdrive, electricity spiking your bones.  Your hands roamed over his tight stomach making their way up to caress the back of his head, pulling him closer to you.  His tongue swiped over you bottom lip and you granted him access with ease. His tongue found yours easily and you moaned into his mouth at the feeling, wetness pooling in your panties. You found his lower lip and nibbled it gently, earning a deep growl from Chris.  

He was the one who pulled away and you whimpered quietly.  Both of your chests heaved at your ministrations as you tried to slow your breathing.  “Does that answer your question?” he asked, eyebrows raised.  “Like I said last night Y/N, there is something about you that I’m drawn to.  No, this is definitely not a one-time thing.  I want nothing more than for you to hurry back here, so I can take you on another date, shower you with flowers, be your romantic dork.”

A giggled escaped you as he spoke.  You wanted nothing more than for him to be your romantic dork!  “Alright” you said breathily as you nodded your head.  

The two of you spent the rest of the day together, strolling around Sudbury in the crisp September air, hand in hand.  He told you all about the best places to eat in town, his favorite little shops.  He even told you that he talked to his mother about you already, which kind of surprised you.  He must have really had strong feelings for you if he already mentioned you to his mother.  

As the afternoon quickly turned into evening, your heart clenched knowing you had to say goodbye to Chris.  It could be a week, or if things didn’t work out back in Iowa, it could take longer.  

“Hurry back” Chris said as he pulled away from your lips, the heated kiss leaving you light-headed.

“I’ll try” you replied to him, a smirk covering your face.  

He enveloped you into a hug, your feet leaving the ground as he spun you around, his face nestled into your hair.  You didn’t want to let go, you wanted to stay in his arms forever; but you had to.  You had an early flight in the morning and it was getting late.  

Chris opened your car door for you as you settled into your seat.  Driving away, you looked in your rearview mirror and saw him standing there, hands in his pocket, his shoulders hunched over in defeat.  How could someone you’ve known for a little over 24 hours have such a deep impact on you?  You didn’t think feelings like this really existed; it literally felt like something out of a dream, or a fiction novel.  

~~~~

Five days later, you were packing up the last of the house; all the last minute things from the kitchen. Tomorrow morning, the movers would be here to load up the UHAUL.  You found out that they could keep the truck at the UHAUL storage place, locked up for a few days so you could start making the trip out there first.  You would probably be there for maybe a day before they showed up; that way they didn’t get there way ahead of time for you and be stranded there waiting for you.  

You had a duffel bag packed for your trip out there, some clothing and necessities that were all ready to go.  Walking around the house, it seemed eerily quiet, boxes littering the floor.  

You and Chris spent the past five days texting, skyping, and talking on the phone.  His charming ways wiggled deeper into your heart, and you loved every minute of it.  The way he made you feel was nothing you ever experienced and you desired more.    

The next morning, the moving guys showed up bright and early and started getting to work.  You made sure to buy some plastic cups so you could offer something to drink for them.  While you personally didn’t have a lot of things, you weren’t ready to part with your grandparents’ belongings yet.  They would most likely keep stored away somewhere in your new house.  But just having their belongings in your possession, it made it feel like they were still there with you.

You worked with the moving guys, bringing smaller boxes outside and onto the grass.  You knew it wasn’t much, but you were raised to always help out.

As you brought out another small box from inside, you peered down the driveway, dust swirling around as a yellow taxi approached.  “Wrong house” you muttered quietly.  Houses were far away from each other and people always got lost around this area.

You set the box down on the grass as you walked towards the now parked taxi.  You stopped dead in your tracks as the person emerged from the backseat, small suitcase in hand.  

“Chris!” you shrieked as you ran towards him, jumping into his arms and nearly knocking him over. His low chuckle reverberated throughout your body causing you to shiver.  “What are you doing here?  How are you here?  How did you know where I lived?”  All the questions tumbled out of your mouth so fast.  It was such a surprise to see him here, but you weren’t complaining at all.

He let go of you, but kept his arms on your hips.  “I couldn’t let you make the drive back to Sudbury all by yourself.  It’s like, 20 hours Y/N!  I would be too damn worried the whole time and seeing as I didn’t have anything else going on this week, I came to surprise you” he finished, a smile on his face the whole time.

“You-you’re driving back home with me?” you squeaked out.  Holy shit, this man really did have feelings for you.  You had only known him for a week, and only been in his presence for a dozen hours total.  He stole your heart and you knew you were done for.  

“Yep” he said, popping the p.  “What time did you plan on leaving?”

“Well, the moving guys are about half-way done loading up the truck.  When they are done, the UHAUL will go back to the storage place and be locked up for two days.  I plan on leaving whenever we get everything packed” you stated easily.  On the outside, you remained as calm as you could, but on the inside, you were screaming and dancing like a lunatic. Being a romantic really paid off once you found someone to share that bond with.  

Chris paid the taxi man, and you showed him inside, giving him a quick tour of the house that you grew up in.  You told him he didn’t need to help load up the UHAUL, but he wasn’t having any of it. The movers were all pretty surprised to see Chris not only there, but also helping them out.  

Chris took pictures with everyone, and even signed some autographs.  Your heart grew two sizes just watching him interact with fans. You had to pinch yourself again to make sure you weren’t dreaming, and naturally, you weren’t.  Chris kept stealing glances your way as he chit-chatted with the movers, giving you sly winks.  

You thanked the movers when they were done, and tipped each of them $100.  They thank you graciously and you told two of them (the two who would be driving the UHAUL) that you would see them back in Sudbury in a few days.

Walking back inside, you wanted to take one more trip around the now bare house.  You heart felt full from being with Chris, but it ached as you ambled around the house.  This was your childhood home, where you grew up, had your imagination adventures.  But you knew it would do your friend and her new family some good.  It was the perfect house to raise a family in.  

Chris snuck up behind you, wrapping his arms around and his hands landing on your stomach.  You leaned back and into him, reveling in his body heat.  “You alright sweetheart?” he asked, his breath tickling your ear.  

Sniffling, you shook your head before turning around and gripping onto Chris.  He held you tight and close to his chest as you clutched to him; his hands rubbing soothingly onto your back.  Tilting your head up to peer at him, you gave him a weak smile. “Thank you for being here Chris. It means a lot to me” you said quietly.

He returned your weak smile, his hands coming up to dry the tears from your face.  Reaching up on your tip toes, you pulled his head down in a searing kiss.  A kiss so passionate, it made your knees weak.  Chris’ hands gripped at your hips, making sure you wouldn’t fall.  Your hands scratched the back of his head as his tongue entered your mouth, both of you moaning at the feeling.  One of his hands cupped your chin, tilting your head to make the kiss deeper as your nails continued to scratch his head.  

As your heavy make-out session subsided, he gathered your duffel into his hands and you locked the door. Your friend and her family would officially move in tomorrow, and you smiled knowing you gave her a hell of a deal on the rent price.  It would make it much easier for them to spend more time and go on vacations as a family and you knew you did a good deed.  

You both piled into your car, Chris in the passenger seat and you behind the wheel.  “Ready for a road trip?” you stated with excitement as you started the car.  

Chris leaned over the console, giving you a quick kiss on the lips.  “With you, I’m ready to take on the world sweetheart.”  

A/N: What do you guys think? Should I leave it here, or make a part 3??

Tag List: @iamwarrenspeace @evansfanficweekly @valentinesbird @always-an-evans-addict @castellandiangelo @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @potterhead1265 @soymikael @zofty15 @createdbytinyaddiction @smoothdogsgirl @capcevans81 @domcaaa996 @nina-bok @vampgirl1997 @fandoms-writer @ssweet-empowerment

[tumblunni]

aaaaaugh that was a weird adventure of a normal thing seriously wtf how did I Almost Die from just trying to pay my electricity bills?? the electricity went out at midnight and I was having a WHOPPING GIANT MIGRAINE and seriously i suck at talking to cashiers on the best of days but now i have to call a taxi at midnight and sit there feeling awkward for like half an hour while the guy drives me several miles away to the only electricity place thats open 24/7 and like five minutes in i realized OH SHIT THIS MIGRAINE IS MORE SERIOUS THAN I EXPECTED but like i was trapped in a car and trapped in an awkward social situation! so i was here all dizzy and disassociating and like it felt like the window was a computer screen?? cos im nearsighted a lot and of course its gonna get even worse when i have a dizzy migraine of death doom. i was just so out of it with pain and tiredness and the car shaking me about and just it felt like i wasnt really there but i was still in my house just watching all this on the tv or something. i had to look down at my hands cos they were the only non blurry thing, i had to remind myself that i actually existed and wasnt somehow being erased from the world and replaced by a film reel of some guy sitting in a car?? So I am like Absolutely Fucking Nonfunctional here, and being acutely aware of how i forgot to wear my glasses and apparantly also my socks. Tho in my defense it would have been hard to put them on in the dark anyway! and seriously THIS POOR CAB GUY! like it seemed english wasnt his first language and i felt so bad cos like how can i make it clear that I am the one messing up here?? dude you didnt mishear me i really am slurring everything i say and forgetting half the dictionary. HE WAS SO NICE! I wish i could have like.. been able to register any of his individual faceparts as a coherant whole. I have problems with prosopagnosia even on a good day, but like whoa man i did not have the energy left to concentrate on what this guy even looked like. i feel bad cos i dont know his name either, im gonna remember him as just this big helpful shadow void with a nice accent. HOW DID YOU PUT UP WITH ME EMBARASSING MYSELF SO MUCH, YOU WONDERFUL CABMAN actaully wait do you call them cabs in america aa im sorry this post isnt very america translated i try and generally self-correct to america english cos i know like 90% of my followers seems to be america for some reason i do not understand HELLO AMERICDA FRIENDS TODAY okay so i was Dying in a taxi which is also called a cab, and the company was Capital Cabs which is very good and i love them and they have an automated system so you dont have to talk on the phone and seriously that cut like 50% of terror from this terror day SO ANYWAY I WAS DYING we go all over the place looking for the 24 hours electric place, and then for some reason they are closed?? there was a line outside and i think actually the doors got stuck and the cashiers couldnt get out??? what happened?? i guess i will never know cos i had to leave that mini story behind and find another electric hilariously we found one LITERALLY ACROSS THE ROAD there was THE SAME SHOP ACROSS THE ROAD FACING EACH OTHER MIRROR IMAGE WHAT like seriously fuck im already in a dizzy daze floating halfway out my own body like i didnt need any more evidence im currently in wonderland i want to know this story too, dammit! are those rival stores?? of the same brand?? somehow?? or are they owned by the same person?? because why?? is it like the area was so in-demand of small 24/7 shops that they had to make two within five metres of each other? or is it like they’re the same shop but they didnt have enough space to build the full size they wanted so they purchased two smaller land plots? or something? DID IT JUST EXIST FOR THIS SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCE OF ME NEEDING THE SHOP WHEN THE SHOP IS CLOSED “tumblr blogger tumblunni will show up fuckin migraine stoned on the 9th of november, as the prophecy foretold” omg i just mispelled prophecy as prophey and that sounds like a cute ass oc name holy shit ANYWAY im here dissacoiating my ass off and trying and failing to stick my debit card in the card machine and all the time im like FUCKIN OBSESSING over how sauboh is a really better name. Like faba is still a cute name but sauboh is a COOL name! no name is better than sauboh! and why u wanna this evil man have a cute name anyway?? when u be all cruel in the anime and sand off even the slightest non horrible edges he ever had, like seriously im unreasonably upset that everyone hates faba even more now. when will i get my sneaky science grandpa guy who is not evil for once but merely misunderstood and then i adopt him and hug him many and the all is resolved so yeah im fuckin haviung trouble focusing on what im actually doing jesus christ then i stumble into the store and i pay for my electric and im like ‘no no no fucking shit this migraine is WAY worse than i expected, im going to fucking die’ so i ask if they have any paracetamol but i cant remember the word for paracetamol and its all super embarassing. and like THE GUY LOOKS AT ME AS IF IM CRAZY. He’s all ‘ugh why would we have that, geez’. like wtf?? i mean i know i couldnt remember the name of it but i said ‘headache medicine’ so im sure he understood what i meant. i had a long rambling discussion with the taxi man about how weird that was, he was like ‘no, seriously EVERY 24 hour newsagent sells that stuff’ and i was like ‘no seriously he was rude to me for asking, like wtf’ and then i repeated the story about three more times cos i was currently in the throes of brain death in retrospect maybe the cashier thought i was drunk or something?? or high? i mean you cant get high from headache pills but i dunno maybe they mix badly with booze and he thought he was saving my life. i like to think the best of people! i wish i hadnt jumped to the grumpy conclusion during that moment and then whined like a lil bitch to this poor cab man and seriously he was SO NICE! he was like ‘dude seriously we’d have to drive anothr five miles to find another newsagent shop, im trying to save you money’ and he tried to give me some of the paracetamol he had in his wallet and i was like YOURE SO FUCKIN NICE IM DYING, I COULD NEVER ACCEPT THAT but also in retrospect probably that was a good decision cos even if the guy seemed super nice and trustable its like Good Life Policy to not take medicine from people you don’t know. I am 100% sure tho that he actually was genuine and wasnt gonna fuckin murder me with fakeacetamol HE WAS SO NICE! HIM AND HIS NONDESCRIPT FACIAL REGION! why cant i remember ANYTHING about this man oh and also I was able to give some money to a lady on the street!! i don’t know if she was actually homeless, she said that she had some trouble with a hotel booking or something so she was just stuck sleeping outside for the night. i cant remember if she had any luggage so i cant verify if the story is true, it just made me really sad wondering if it WASNT true and its like she needed to lie or people wouldnt give her money?? like seriously homeless people are the most vunerable yet theyre the ones people have the least sympathy for! wtf having to like like ‘i need the money less’... anyway i also couldnt remember her face and was kinda slurring my words to death and i didnt have much money to give but aaaa i hope i helped!! so yeah fuckin SMASH CUT to the next newsagent place and seriously i swear i blacked out for a minute cos it was just like wow we’re there in 48 seconds yet the clock says a bunch more miles and THEY HAD PARACETALMOL AND I WAS FUCKIN CRYING IN A SPAR MART thenk u cashier man who was probablyh very confused at this guy with no socks also for some reason my mind was wandering to the topic of what i’d do if i got misgendered in a cinema, like holding this fuckin entire fictional argument with this manifestation of my own self doubt WHAT EVEN INSPIRED THAT THOUGHT PROCESS so i’m nigh passing out and the nice cab man takes me home and he tries to make me pay less than the fee on the clock and im like NO DUDE IT WAS MY OWN CHOICE TO GO 2 PARACETAMOL SHOP seriously he was SO NICE why cant i remember his faaaaaace and i usually like to give a tip to the taxi guy even though tipping isnt really a thing in my country cos just i feel like Being Nice Is Nice and i want to thank them for their nice but i DIDNT HAVE ANY MORE MONEY LEFT so aaaa i was only able to give him an extra £0.50 but thank you taxi man i hope you have a good night and good life and the universe rewards you for helping a migraine fucked bunbun this eve and now ive shoved medicines in my fave and im just waiting for them to kick in and i know i should eat something but i feel so nauseous aaarglefargle also nice taxi man told me a story about how the same thing happened to him once except the electric went out while he was in the shower. So he just got blasted by cold water AND had to stumble down the stairs in the dark, and then friggin buy electric while his ears were still fulla soap. Whoa dude your bravery in face of embarassment exceeds my own! i love you platonically mr cab man thanks for making me feel less nervous and such while i was Die so yeah hopefully i will be less die soon ok bye also sauboh is a best name and i need to steal it for an oc or something NINTEND U LET IT SLIP AWAY

[probablyreal]

Apparently I never posted dreams I had ages ago. This one was from August 2018. It’s very long. Also makes a good story. (A warning: this alone is 2200 words.)

So the setting of this dream was a jungle/forest mix. Imagine the exotic-ness of a jungle, with vines and animals and such, but the temperature and silence and maneuverability of forest paths. Then, imagine that there are paths branching off and joining up everywhere, so much that it’s both easy to see where your movement options are, and impossible to tell where you’ve been. Looking anywhere other than immediately forward or backward is near impossible.

I’m with my siblings, glancing back every few minutes to do a head count. One, two, three. One, two, three. Sometimes they change order, and the youngest two might match each others’ paces to talk quietly about something, but that’s good. One. Two. Three. All of them are present. Notably, there isn’t a lot of noise aside from movement. The animals in the trees above us don’t make noise either, when I think about it: they run, but there’s nothing like a crow’s caw or a squirrel’s chirp. We’re all carrying something, but my younger sister and I have the heaviest bags.

I put my hand in my pocket and run my finger over some round coin, flipping it and feeling the grooves along its faces.

We’re trying to get away from something, I know, but I’m not really sure what. Just, something. I take a turn and there’ll be a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach- not unusual if you think something’s out to get you. But couple that with vision getting blurry, or my fingers going numb, or forgetting, briefly, the words for something? I’ve learned to trust my gut. I pause, one of my siblings walks into me, and I turn around, motioning for us to backtrack. Take a different path, any other path.

There’s some muttered complaints (“We’ve backtracked three times already,” one of my brothers hisses) but we find the last branch of the path, skip a few over, and head out. The sun’s going down, everyone’s getting tired, they want some place to rest.

Almost on cue, I see something and pause. It looks like a moth sitting on a tree, but my stomach tells me it’s not a moth. I’m not really sure what it is, then, but I stop and stare at it, and my sister pokes her head around. “Good job,” she says, pushing me forward. “You found one.”

One.

One of what?

But she seems to be waiting for me to do something, so I reach out and touch the moth. My fingers go through it, so I try again, this time as if to squash it. My fingers find a little notch, and then sink into the wood. Then I pull, and it’s like a door’s sliding open.

I’m in a room. Like, the room of a house, not some forest cabin.

My siblings shuffle in behind me as I take it in. Four walls, plaster and white paint. (Not white. It’s a really pale peach, and you can’t tell.) There are three (four. The middle one is two pushed together) beds, all with blankets and pillows, showing signs of recent use. Piles of old clothes and stuffed animals in a corner, books and shelves, some candles and matches. An old clunky television. It smells odd, old, but familiar with something I can’t place. A rug hanging on one wall, with an image of two hands praying; on another, rows of closets with cupboards of instant noodles and a kettle. A door on the wall we came from, and the last has curtains, but there’s nothing behind them.

My sister claims the middle bed(s) for herself and my younger brother, while my younger brother breaks out some portable battery, starts boiling water, and starts making noodles. I take the one closest to the door. My older brother gets the one closest to the blank wall and he hates it, and starts saying so immediately.

He hates noodles, couldn’t we have gone anywhere else? He hates running from whatever we’re running from. The bed squeaks, he hates the outdoors. My younger brother says he’s welcome to get fruit or something out of the closet and make something, like, idunno, soup, sorry this isn’t a kitchen, but older brother doesn’t bother. He just sits there to complain that his phone doesn’t work, the television doesn’t work, there’s no lights, he hates this blanket, he wants a bath, we should’ve chosen literally anything other than a fucking bedroom-

Someone tells him to shut up. The someone might be me. We eat, curl up, and as I drift off, my siblings say something about missing ‘the real thing’.

First thing in the morning an alarm goes off: it sounds like a church bell. My sister wakes us all and tells us we have to leave, quickly. None of us are morning people so it’s with groaning and complaining (“Why can’t we stay longer?” my older brother complains. “Because we’ll destroy the safe zone, we need to leave it for other people-” “So?” “I don’t know how I should tell you you should care about other people!”) we gather some packaged foods and head out for another long day of walking the forest-jungle paths. My sister takes charge and says: “Remember, we’re searching for a way out, or another safe zone. I’ll know it when I see it, but you’re the best at finding things.”

After another three close calls and backtracks (“Wow, you’re getting rusty.” “Do you want to go first? Shut up.”) it gets dark. We can’t rest, not here. Not when I’m sure I can hear a bell ringing in the distance. Not with the sinking feeling in my stomach. Not when I lose words, or feeling, or senses. (“My feet hurt. Can’t you find us a safe zone?” “Maybe we passed one that someone broke.”) It’s at near dawn the next day when I find a nail sticking out of a tree. A nail? Isn’t that a bit odd?

My sister looks at it and all but cheers. She doesn’t wait, this time; she just grabs it and pulls, and we end up in… the bath chambers from Harry Potter, when he opens the Triwizard egg in the water. It’s a bit modified- looks more homey, certainly has more of her touch- but it’s a bath. We can clean off all the dirt and grime from the forest trek. Thank fucking god.

Like the bedroom, the bath has cupboards stocked with terrible instant noodles and a kettle. Like the bedroom, there’s no electricity and we have to use those portable batteries. We eat, then put the rest of the noodles we brought with us in the cupboards, just to keep it stocked.

I pull that coin out of my pocket and frown. It’s a silver disc with a skull engraved on one side. The other has a cube lined with circuitry. How odd. But it feels nice to run my finger over, so I put it back as I shuck my clothes off to take a bath.

After we’re all clean, there’s nowhere soft to sleep. We pile towels together to use as pillows.

When we wake up, my sister says: “Remember: A way out, or a safe zone. You’re the best at finding things.”

At the next safe zone (a vine with a single blue flower) my older brother shoves forward and plucks it. We’re in what looks like a computer room, with lights and electricity. All of us unload portable batteries to charge in the seemingly endless sockets; all of us check with our magical phone receptions for messages, emails, or while our time away with video games.

We don’t have food. There are closets, but we don’t have anything in them. I wonder about that, aloud, briefly, and my younger brother looks at me patiently. “We need to bring some from my kitchen,” he says, and I feel like he’s told me this before.

I don’t mention that I have no idea what we’re doing. If our sister didn’t keep repeating A way out, or a safe zone. You’re the best at finding things. I wouldn’t have any clue about this forest/jungle at all.

It’s at another sinking feeling and backtrack (this time, I lose my temper and my balance and punch a tree- the pain stings my hand, and I wrap my knuckles in a handkerchief) that my sister asks if I’ve been keeping course. I blink, and frown, and say something about the sun: rises in the east, right? We head north. Every time. She seems satisfied with the answer, and I pause to wonder what it means. Of course we head north. Did she forget?

There’s a sinking feeling when we take a path, so I backtrack, but the feeling doesn’t go away.

It stays as I take another path, and gets stronger as we walk it. “Something’s wrong,” I say, and things are very blurry- very fuzzy. I touch that coin in my pocket, fumbling with a lack of dexterity. “I think it’s following us.”

But if it were following us, we could just head away from it, right? That’s worked before. Why isn’t it working now?

My brothers look nervous. My sister suggests we head off the path, through the trees and vines. First person to find a safe zone just opens it, we need to get out, as soon as possible. Somehow it works, and we end up in that bedroom again.

Things are just as we left it. Messy blankets, messy pillows, cupboards with instant noodles. The walls appear to ripple for a moment; it’s probably a trick of the (lack of) light. We have noodles. My older brother complains, again, at the lack of food that he likes. We sleep uneasily.

In the morning, there’s the sound of bells, overlapping and telling us we should leave, now.

I feel like I’m forgetting something.

What are we doing?

“A way out, or a safe zone. Your lead.”

Yes, that’s right.

My younger brother’s safe zone is a kitchen/greenhouse mashup. There’s electricity, but only two sockets; there’s food, mostly. Absolutely nowhere to sleep, except for a lawn chair. I say something, absently, about how it seems like a good place for a hammock, and my younger brother says something about how only I could sleep in a hammock. I wonder what he means, I’ve never slept in a hammock, and he doesn’t elaborate.

It would be nice to stay longer, I say. The safe zones are nice. Even though they can break, it would be nice to just look out for ourselves and nobody else.

For once, my older brother agrees with me. I hate that. I shouldn’t have to tell you you should care for other people, shithead.

So many days later, we’re arguing in the bedroom. There seems to be no end to the safe zones, the thing chasing us, and my older brother starts playing music- very loudly. His musical taste sucks. I hate it. My sister tells him to turn it down because none of us like his music, and in response he turns it up. Then my younger brother tells him it’s not safe, and we start yelling and shoving each other.

We hate this. We hate being stuck with each other, and all this attitude, and at some point it becomes a question of my attitude: the fact that I keep asking stupid questions (what stupid questions?) and how maybe I’m just shitty at finding my way, I always had a shit sense of direction, the only thing I was good for was finding things, and we’re never going to get out with that shitty mix of everything. I tell my older brother that at least I’m more useful than him (guys, please, you’re too loud) and he says he oughta punch me, this is all my fault. I tell him to go for it. “Do it, bitch, but I’ll hit you back.”

We do hit each other. I think I might have hit him too hard, he’s a twig, but what breaks us apart is the fact that the walls are rippling. They’re turning translucent, there are vines visible outside, and the sound of a church bell ringing, much too close. Things are crumbling; there’s something dark and shapeless reaching through the vines, scratching at the walls, hissing all the while.

We were yelling too loud. It’s too close. It’s here. That’s another safe zone destroyed, we’re at two now. Fucking terrible.

But we get away, somehow. The whole incident is kind of fuzzy. I guess being too close to the creature would do that. Maybe that memory is gone for good.

My sister is the first to speak, shoulder to shoulder with my younger brother. Both of them look bothered by our close call. “A way out, or a safe zone. Find it.”

Yes, I know.

I turn and do a head count. One, two. One, two. Shouldn’t there be three? Wait, I should count myself. Three. One, two, three.

I feel like I’m forgetting something. I put my hand in my empty pocket, just to keep it warm. I check the sky- it’s near dawn, with the sun rising in the east. We head north.

There are church bells in the distance.

[loveaningenue]

Taylor Swift’s 2005-2006 MySpace Comments

Taylor’s alleged MySpace comments in a chronological order from 2005 to 2006. (Time of posts on 24h). Pictures of the comments were too blurry, so I didn’t add, but if needed, I have them saved in a file if anyone needs proof. 

NB: All the comments are replies to unknown posts by her friends, so the context is unknown. 

Sep 3, 2005 13:08

I am obsessed with you.

If you look out your window and down the street about 200 yards, you may see a big white van parked on the street. I am inside the van with a telescope and computer. Just trying to catch a glimpse of kelsey dammmnnn morris.

haha. end of story.

Sep 5, 2005 1:37

AWWWW brittany I miss you so much. And yes, I can verify that you do know every word to that song. I love you for it. :-) . Prom was incredible and thankyou so much for everything you’re ever done in the past to make me feel welcome into that whole group. You have always been so nice to me. Thankyou for everything. You may not have noticed but it really meant a lot to me. 

Sep 6, 2005 3:26

LACEY LACEY LACEY

I’m in love with you.

There’s no other way around it.

hehe

Sep 10, 2005 2:01

Pretty girl.

I could away twenty and knock on your door and ask you how you’ve been...

But I think I’ll just sit here and type it. Tell me how you’ve been, child. taylor

Sep 11, 2005 21:09

I have the same name as your boyfriend.

Therefore I am better than everyone and you should like me more.

taylor

Sep 14, 2005 20:43

HOMECOMINGQUEENHOMECOMINGQUEENHOMECOMINGQUEENHOMECOMINGQUEEN

{haha i love you and your pretty crown}

taylor

Sep 18, 2005 11:56

Kelsey’s awesome. And got best smile. And should have gotten everything else. Hahah iloveyou

Sep 17, 2005 11:30

uhhh..

“I shot some guy with a flare gun” -sahara

best line ever.

Sep 21, 2005 23:26

WE NEED ONE MORE SCANTRON

Sep 30, 2005 17:06

I have one word for you.

Chorttle.

{bitch}

Oct 11, 2005 23:13

Everybody watch Kelsey’s scrolling pictures of her friends until you get the one of shelby.

Her boobs look AMAZING.

hahahahahahaha

Oct 18, 2006 16:36

RELINQUISH THIS TOME FOOLERY YOU ELFISH KNAVE.

- a prime example of the shit we OUGHT to learn in English class.

Oct 31 2005 8:12

i read your complaining comment about how your not abigails tip 8. well, how could you be? I’M THERE. TAKING YOUR SPOT HAHAhAHAHA. (evil laugh, you know the drill). Well, anyway, listen my queer fellow. I thinketh we shall hangeth out sometime soon, eh? yes, i do believe i am growing fond of this idea. drive over in your sex van and come pick me up. farewell knave. -T-

Nov 6, 2005 0:03

If you were a guy I’d probably date you.

Just a friendly reminder

<3

Nov 26, 2005 17:54

My darling.

18 days till I get my license and  I think we’ll gave to go out in the hummer and shoot people we hate with a paintball gun out the passenger side window.

Abigail and I have been planning this for a while.

You should totally come.

We hear you have good aim.

lovelovelove -T-

Nov 26, 2005 21:50

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

{i like your headline}

and yes, I do.

lovelovelove -T-

Dec 4, 2005 22:07

Here’s a little limerick for you to solve while I waste my life away on the couch with a godforsaken migraine that is threatening my life eating ice cream out of the gallon container watching war of worlds wondering why I was fat as a 10-year-old and not cute like dakota fanning and thinking, “hey, this wouldn’t’t be so bad, everything getting blown to shit and half the world dying.. Life pretty much sucks anyway.”

I don’t want what I can get.

I fuck up what i had so i shouldn’t want it

I want what doesn’t want me Therefore I can’t get it Therefore I can’t be happy Therefore I sit in class writing notes t my equally psychotic redheaded best friend about how to achieve ultimate happiness when honestly we’re just dreamers because no one is ever permanently happy.

I have blonde hair and my name rhymes with sailor.

What am I?

Oh, fuck. It’s me.

Have an equally joyous night fa la la i love christmas

-T-

Dec 16, 2005 2:59

I’m Grant Motherfucking Wood.

I do what I want

and say the word “durr”.

iloveyoubutnotsomuchgrantwood hehehe -T-

Dec 21, 2005 0:17

I’m in England and this whole country is weird.

They’re all weird. Except for me. Who, as you know, is completely normal. 

Hey man we need to hang out when I get back. How about we combine me, my car, grant wood’s house, shelby, ally, some boys, lily and perhaps whitley, some drinks because you might get thirsty, and new year’s eve.

yeeeaahhhhhh

-T-

Dec 28, 2005 14:57

Just a little reminder to you that, even though the semester may be over..

I’m still quite obsessed with you.

haha fuck sewing machines.

lovelovelove -T-

Dec 28, 2005 

WOW I LOVE YOUR PICTURES

( i haven’t been on here in a while and technology alone fascinates me)

Hey I love you and now I know exactly where your house is, and also that Grant Wood plays guitar? Yes, he does. 

Why?

Because he’s Grant Motherfucking Wood, That’s why.

We’re hanging out New Years and I’m driving the Hummer and it will be amazing.

-T-

PS: Hi, Kelsey’s mom!

Dec 29, 2005 2:44

Lil’ Kels.

hahahhaha

I looove love love your new pictures. You are pretty, 

You’re right.. you better watch out.

Because I do what I want.

-T-

Jan 4, 2006 22:37

IM ONE OF KELSEYS BEST FRIENDS HA HA HA HA HA HA.

I’m sorry. Now that I said that I’m probably going to get kicked off the list for disorderly conduct or just simply being a loser in a public place such as the internet. 

But just to let you know. That’s pretty freakin awesome. lovelovelove -T-

Jan 8, 2006 8:53

My name is Taylor. I am not clingy. I do not want a boyfriend.

I do not show signs of wanting a boyfriend.

I do not make hints leading on to the fact that I may want a boyfriend.

So how, tell me, on EARTH is it possible for someone confuse this issue and IGNORE me because they don’t want a girlfriend.

(%(* ..)%([IOJENTI..OWI$...]WO -T-

Jan 10, 2006 0:30

Umm how about DONT listen to addie.

That’s like the most amusing picture I’ve ever seen.

Take it down?

I think not.

Jan 18, 2006 0:14

JORDAN YOU IDIOT.

The term is quite obviously FEM-bots.

Not THEM-bots..

I don’t know what goes in your clouded mind sometimes..

maybe I’m just too sexy and it distracts you. mmm i think i am correct. -T-

Jan 18, 2006 0:16

Oh P.S.

Boys with your name are not exactly as great as you.

I have had much experience with them lately.

hahaha and their girlfriends get mad ;-)

Feb 4, 2006 21:01

THAT PICTURE OF ME UP AT THE TOP IS GROSS.

THAT IS SICK TAKE IT DOWN.

It serves NO purpose other than to make me look FUGLY.

I want it off NOW.

but i loove you

Feb 5, 2006 8:14

Guess who as a thing for you.

The hottest guy in the world.

Whats the mixture of a tiger and a lion?

A WHORE.

think about it.

Feb 28, 2006 5:30

“I definitely just deep-throated the lollipop.”

Hey little girl.. do you want to know a seeker-ett?

hahaha thanks for helping me with my computer troubles. I know you bend many way for me. i like dat.

Mar 21, 2006 7:54

“Kelsey y dont u just LEAVE US ALONE.

WE R TRYIN 2B HAPPY. OMGGGGGG.”

hahahah. See, I had to write the original message with punctuations and vowels-- but I had to translate into the way SHE would write it.

But she’s not immature. She’s just not fond of correct spelling.

i love you -T-

Apr 5, 2006 7:51

LoL i KnOw!!

ExcLamAtiOn PoIntS aRe THIRD GrAdErS !! !! !!

(also notice this super cool signature I’m going to add in to the ending of this comment)

::sWiFt::

hahahah

Apr 22, 2006 18:39

PUT UP PROM PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!

And as soon as I get my laptop back, I’ll be leaving you a certain picture that I think you’ll like.

Because a certain girl might see it. lovelovelove -T-

Apr 23, 2006 14:19

(Picture)

(Picture)

(Picture)

(This is you quite obviously staring at my boobs)

Apr 24, 2006 17:56

Lyrics we live by:

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time I want what’s your and I want what’s mine

I want YOU, but I’m not giving  giving in this time.

haha i love you you’re really pretty. -T-

Apr 30, 2006 19:33

Kelsey.

I love you and I’m sorry about all the “distance”.

Distance = stupid and unnecessary.

Dude. The truth us, i miss you. Starbucks tomorrow? 

May 2, 2006 22:10

Yeah, I remember I have that photoshoot today and tomorrow. Well, its good to know I was missed. haha. Speaking of missed, I really wish you didn’t work so much because I wanted to hang out today.

lovelovelove -T-

Call me.

May 27, 2006 1:44

Dude.

The scrolling picture of your car is mad cool mannnnnn.

sweeeeet.

I stared at it for like an hour. hahaha

no really. the sad thing is, I did.

Jun 9, 2006 20:30

I CANT FIND MY PHONE.

errrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Kelsey. My lovely best friend. YOU CAME TO MY SHOWWWWWW! I didn’t know if you or ally actually came or not because I didn’t see you, thank you so much for coming. That means the world to me, you know that. I love you.

lovelovelove -T-

Jun 19, 2006 10:52

I MISS YOU AND I WANT TO SEE YOU.

I leave again tonight for north carolina but i wont be gone as long this time, and I want my best friendddd backkkkk.

I love you and ally.

lovelovelove

-T-

Jul 31, 2006 19:24

You know you’ve been away too long when your best friend doesn’t have any trace of you on her myspace anymore. Kelsey. I missss you.

I’m going over to Ally’s house tonight and if you’re not there I’m going to walk over to your house and abduct you. 

lovelovelove -T-

Here’s a LINK to the pictures of the alleged MySpace comments. 

BONUS: