#also it's almost like too... not everyone is a 20-something (at most) american

[tiger-moran]

I really hate those 'have you heard' posts where there are loads of people in the notes going 'how the fuck has anyone not heard ___' or calling people liars for saying they haven't heard of them

[bun-z-bakery]

(Repost from my abandoned account) these are just my personal head canons for dogday. this is a survivor au

(All characters are over 18 btw)

-dogday sometimes has dog like tendencies, like growling, barking etc.

-he doesn't remember a lot about his life as a worker but will share stories he remembers of his human life once you two become close.

-man is like a love sick puppy. First you save him? Give him legs? AND a home?! And his friends are here too?! You really are his angel.

-he's very protective of his angel. He can't have anyone take them away or even hurt them. Plus all those years locked away, he can't loose you, you're his hope.

-this man will most certainly plan his confession, script and all. Maybe you're away at work and this is something he's been working on for a while. He's always bringing you little gifts on his hunting trips (depending on if you like to collect rocks and such) but this dude went out of his way to find the best of the best. Even somehow found flowers beautiful enough to almost rival your beauty, keyword: almost.

-he enjoys spending time with you, poppy and kissy, he enjoys playing outside with you three, even if you guys have been out of the factory for years already. They still enjoy the outside world.

-I know bro is huge, like dude is taller than an American door way (according to some measurements fans have made, hes 9'5) if you're a shorty (like me 5 feet even😭) he will most definitely pick you up and carry you like a dogtoy. He likes the feeling of carrying his angel, it gives him a sense of pride doing so. Even if you accidentally hit the ceiling or he needs to really get down so you don't hit the top of the doorframe, he will always apologize or joke about it.

-he's a cuddler, he LOVES cuddling! He has his own giant dog bed in your shared room, but he prefers to sleep on your shared bed. If you're away from work and he's eepy, he'll pass out on your bed because it smells like you. Your scent keeps him at bay until you come home. Poor guy will shoot up and push anyone out of his way to be the first to get to you! He sits there on the floor waiting for his mandatory headpats and kisses as soon as he hears your keys.

-it takes his brain a few minutes to properly turn on. After all those years he finally gets proper sleep, I can imagine you waking up first and getting ready for the day to prepare breakfast for the group and you poke him, trying to wake him. He'll mumble some random stuff about not letting rats do taxes then fall back asleep only to be woken again by your pokes still talking nonsense. I can also see him sometimes waking up confused, you know like when you wake up your parents and they're mad for no reason asking what's wrong while gasping for air? (Just me?) I can see him being THAT dead asleep bhahsha

-my take on the survivor au is more of a modern take (as in yes the factory closed years also but reader is possibly in early to late 20s sometime in 20xx / non specified year) so they weren't an employee but probably knew someone like a family member who worked there or was dared to enter the factory (we'll see if I ever post my fanfic haha as these hcs kinda tie into that story) so dogday being alive in the 80s or 90s he probably has like the old school idea of love and attempts to swoon you as such. The flowers, cheesy pick up lines.

-I can imagine because he's not up to date with the newer terms and he might be confused while trying to seem cool haha. "Angel what does rizzler mean?" (Poor peepaw)

- Personally I love the theory that DogDay is an ex worker aka Rich. Which is probably why he was the leader of the smiling critters. Because he was mature enough to make sure everyone was in line/well behaved, I also think some other workers were turned into the mascots too (obviously) but maybe they trusted Rich more so they just threw him into the dance circle and hope that he'd be a good leader.

- this one ties into the first one btw! I like the think that maybe he was one of the mascots when he worked there. Like a guy in the costume who worked with the kids (hence the zipper, how else would the workers get into the bigger body suits?)

- I like to think DogDay likes when Angel calls him by his old human name. Maybe once he opens up more about his human life (or at least bringing up some of the memories he still has) he just randomly brings up his name when talking about a memory and hearing Angel repeat his name back, he'd probably like hearing it. It might make him feel like less of a monster in a sense. Granted I think he wouldn't care about what Angel calls him but he would most definitely prefer for them to alternate. Like you know when someone makes you mad and you use their real name instead of their nickname? He'd hate for his Angel to get mad, especially at him. But when living with 3 other people it can get a bit hectic.

"DogDay! Did you bring mud into the house?!"

"N-No!... "

*silence*

"RICH, WHERE ARE YOU?!"

*footsteps are heard and DogDay bolts out the door*

- Now this head canon I have can go either one of two ways, right? Hear me out. Listen up, listen carefully, and listen closely. (Lmk if you got that reference) ok so back to the zipper! I think the zipper just opens to his organs tbh like the zipper was just left functional in case he needed to be "repaired internally". BUT another thought, I also can see there being some sort of barrier! You know those stuff animals who have their stuffing blocked by a barrier so it doesn't fall out but the zipper opens to a compartment where you can store items? I kinda think that's whats there tbh, I mean it makes sense. What if one of the kids opened the zipper by mistake? Surely there would be a barrier just in case.

- as I mentioned in the last hc post, I can see him trying to swoon Angel in the old romantic type of way. I can see him pinning after Angel hard, at first they wouldn't get the hint, they'd probably think he's thinks he's indebted to them for rescuing them and giving the 3 of them a better and new life. But quickly they realize bro is in love. Of course poppy teases him about it too at some point lol. He doesn't really try to hide it either. I can see poppy and kissy thinking it's sweet and first then they get annoyed once you're the only thing he talk about lol.

- You're married. That's all! No but I can see in his mind you two are basically married. He'd probably want to have new custom star collars made for both of you or maybe even a ring for you and a matching collar or something for him to wear and propose. Of course it will bother him a bit because he can't go out with you, take you on dates or show you off but he trusts you (even though he gets jealous when you smell like someone else) he basically tries his best with what you guys have (If only there was a holiday that came once a year where you guys could go out dressed in customs without looking like freaks).

- He looks like the type of guy who would love pasta. I'm not sure why or how this even came into mind but I just feel like that's what he often wants for dinner. Poppy would probably eat fruit for dinner, kissy isn't really picky, but Dogday would probably be asking for either pasta or meat. Also I think Angel would be hesitant to feed certain foods to Dogday because you know, he's a dog (not really but hear me out) but because he acts like one at times I could see Angel being like haha nope you can't eat this!

*Angel eating chocolate cookies*

"May I have some?" *cutely pouts*

"I don't want you dying, love."

"You know I'm not actually a dog...right?"

ok ok you got me there" (they just really didn't wanna share lol)

- tbh this is more of a general head canon for the toys but I seeing as they had to resort to c*nnibalism. They clearly need food and water to survive. I think catcap was probably keep Dogday alive as a "lol now look at you now, look at me" (yes that's a BP reference) moment but only feeds him when he felt like it, since food is basically scarce in that place. I think that their human organs were transferred over but little things like veins, teeth, tongue, blood vessels basically anything that's not a major organ was made artificially and connected in a sense to those major organs making them function as such.

Yeah that's kinda it lol, there might be some more parts to this if I can think of anything else! But yeahhh that's kinda my hc and rambles lol (I tend to ramble a lot especially when I have to give context, I apologize!)

[malehypnofantasy]

Read Part 2 here

Ben Richards is the ultimate all-American douchebags. He's blonde, he's muscular, and he's rich, and he knows he's a hot shit so that laid out the foundation for his ego.

He's also well-connected, with his family embedded deep within the political and economic leadership of not only in the United States, but also globally. The sheer level of power the young brat holds compounded with his attractive looks made him feared, respected and the most important of all, adored.

People wanted to be on his good side and everyone tried to get close to him. But only the reserved few that can get close to him and enjoyed all the perks of being his good friends. The others won't be seen or noticed by Ben and he wouldn't even hesitate to set the record straight or put people back to their places id he wished to do so, and that involved regular people like Casey that he viewed just as insignificant miscreant. Yet, that didn't phase Casey anymore, not when he got his magical power by his side, as Ben would be nothing but his mere puppet to play with.

Casey's family member always preached the need for a sorcerer to have not only strong mentality, but also strong physique as magic tend to consume a lot of energy and can push a magician to its physical limit. Having stronger physique means higher tolerance of pain and limit to exert one's magic, and for Casey, Ben is the answer to it. Casey is just simply too lazy to work out to build his body and endurance, and with his family never worked with magic in related to physically transform oneself, he needed to resort something more involving mental. The plan that Casey have in mind is to basically hijack Ben's body and use that jock's body as a proxy. From the memory of his great grandfather, such feat is possible as certain magician pulled it off in the past to create this front for their business enterprise with mere mortal as their original form seemingly unable to wield charisma or charm that they are lacking while human have this tendency to fall and adore someone that exude such quality

Ben's latest update involved a shirtless selfie he took in the gym. That's almost an hour ago, and per latest intel, Ben supposedly went to Walmart after his gym session. When Casey and Ethan finally arrived in Walmart's parking lot, they spotted Ben's electric blue BMW still parked nicely with no one inside, so they know they just need to wait for the jock to walk out from the store.

After around 15 minutes of waiting, Ben finally walked out with several groceries bag in both hands. Watching from safe distance inside their own car, Casey eyed Ben like the prey he is while Ethan just stared at Ben with no regards to the safety of his supposed frat bros as he is already gripped tightly under Casey's control. Casey then started to make his move as Ben finished with putting down his groceries inside his car. He walked out from the car and then called the jock while running. As Ben turned around then made eye contact, Casey utilized the opportunity to froze the muscular jock under his control. His 20/20 vision proven to be his shortcomings as he clearly entranced with Casey's eyes he managed to see. With zero control over his body, he stripped himself off and then forced to turn around and faced the car by Casey.

Ethan eventually followed Casey to walk out from the car. From the distant, he witnessed Casey pressed his body close to Ben's body and a radiant glow emanated from the two. The glow turned blinding as Ethan got closer but after several seconds, the light vanished and while Ben's body flopped to the car seat, Casey's body dropped to the road. Ethan dashed his way to see what is happening and trying to find way to help Casey, but once he got closer to the car, Ben suddenly roared as he flexed his muscle

"Hey there Ethan, how do you like me now?" Ethan's eyes went wide, is that his Master's voice coming out of Ben Richard's mouth?? "--sorry, that doesn't sound right. How do you like me now?" Said Ben now with his usual tone and air of confidence that accompanied his sultry, deep voice

"Master, what happened?"

"Well, what about you put my body to the backseat and I'll explain to you what's up,"

So with ease, Ethan lifted Casey's original 130 lbs body and shoved it to the backseat and trampled Ben's gym bag as he then seated himself in the front passenger seat

"Okay, so let me explain---"

[alpaca-clouds]

Public Transport COULD Be Great

Americans visiting Europe, especially those more left-leaning Americans, will always be so impressed when it comes to our public transport. And it does not matter where they visit here. Netherlands? "Amazing Public Transport!" France? "Amazing!" Germany? "Amazing!" Even in the UK they will be impressed.

And I kinda get it. While once upon a time the US made a conserted effort to get people moving via train, that has been almost two centuries ago and by now they just decided that people having cars is making more companies more money, so who needs cheap public transport? And while I personally actually kinda liked the public transport on the east coast while I was visiting the US... Yeah, I am well aware that the east coast (especially the area between New York City and DC) is not quite representative for the US.

However, here is the thing: If you ask most Europeans about their public transport... Well, we'll complain as well.

Because they fucking ruined it!

See, here is the issue, in a lot of parts in Europe, at some point or another the government privatized some or all of the public transport. This hit some countries like the UK especially hard, but Germany was hit also quite a lot.

Because of that a lot of things happened that happened when you try to use capitalist logic onto something that cannot work under capitalism.

For example a lot of rails have been removed in areas where it was not "cost efficient" to run trains. Or if they have not been removed, they are at least no longer used. In Germany you will find that in the area where I am living (North-Rhine-Westfelia) we have somewhat good running public transport. Meanwhile a friend of mine is living in former East Germany. And something you gotta understand about former East Germany: After the reunification a lot of people from East Germany tried to move away from there, thinking they would do better in "West Germany". So you will find a lot of mostly empty villages and towns there. And you know what does not pay under capitalism? Right: Running trains to fairly depopulated villages and towns. So... This friend is forced to use a car all the time. Because the next train station that is actually still in use is 45 minutes by car away.

Sure, technically there is a bus running through her village... It comes 3 times a day mondays to fridays, 2 times a day on Saturday and not at all on Sunday. Also to reach the aforementioned train station, the bus connection would take her almost two hours.

Now mind you: There is a train station about 10 minutes by car from her. But that one has not been in use for almost 20 years. Because, again: It just does not pay. It is not profitable for the company, so it is no longer in use.

And here we get to the issue: Public transport is an amazing thing... But we see again and again, that it really only works in those cases where it is state-run and paid for with taxes. As soon as it is privatized it will just not work. Because, well... In general public transport really is not a thing that will be paying for itself. It is fairly expensive, and to keep it profitable you need to keep raising the prices. (As a German: Believe me, I know!)

Not to mention that company policies will lead to weird stuff happening with the trains. Here in Germany? Well, the biggest train company (that is kinda partly state-owned, but not state-run, so it is run under capitalist ideas) has promised their investors that the trains will not be as delayed as before. But given the piss-poor state in which the rail network is, this is just not feasible. So, what will they do? Simple! If a train gets too delayed they will just cancel it. Will that fuck everyone travelling over way more than letting the train delay for 20 minutes? Yeah. But they do not care. They only care about the investors.

And this is the general issue.

For public transit to work, you need to design the transit network to serve the people - and not to make money. Because it does not matter that there are only some old people left in some depopulated little town in eastern Germany or western England... Those old people deserve to be able to get from their depopulated little town to the next big shopping center and cultural center as well.

As long as you do not design the stuff with those people in mind...

Sure, it is better than no public transport. But it still sucks.

[dear-ao3]

who are the 20 f1 meow meows?

max verstappen (fast but an asshole on the track. lives in fear of his cats. winning everything.)

checo perez (might lose his spot. had two separate did not finishes in the same race. kissed another car at the hairpin)

sir lewis hamilton (fashion icon, classiest mother fucker you’ll ever see, knighted, just wants a comeback and to win his 8th world championship)

george russell (walking meme, looks like he belongs in the window of a tommy bahama, says crikey and blimey unironically, the most british person ever)

charles leclerc (the poorest little meow meow, is a millionaire but has a cracked back of his phone, either is fighting for the podium or crashes on the first lap, please dear god let this man win something he has the worst luck i’ve ever seen)

carlos sainz (smooth operator, dunks on everyone’s golf game especially landos, aparently doesn’t eat his pancakes with toppings, drives a volkswagen golf at least sometimes)

lando norris (usually getting told by carlos he sucks at golf, chronically online, has a blanket with george russell’s face on it, gets in trouble for being too sarcastic, please give him a win it’s been 5 years)

oscar piastri (has never once looked like he’s having a good time but almost did once while building a house of cards, hates horoscopes, almost got sued by alpine when he said he wasn’t signing with them after alpine announced he was signing with them, has an iconic mom)

fernando alonso (old man, retired and then came back for some reason, tad villain and he knows it, don’t mention taylor swift around him)

lance stroll (still waiting for his tennis career tbh, his dad bought aston martin to guarantee him a seat, rage monster)

esteban ocon (french, monster of a teammate aparently, once got beat up in the garage by max verstappen, besties with stroll and mick schumacher)

pierre gasley (also french, terrible awful haircut, did i mention he’s french, had his brain chemistry permanently altered by being teammates with yuki, photo dump king)

nico hulkenberg (looks like that one penguin with the weird hair from penguins of madagascar, dad, has raced in over 200 races and never been on the podium)

kevin magnussen (was kicked off haas because they wanted younger drivers only to reappear the next year after they fired one of the drivers for probably funding the russian ukrainian war, once fok smashed a door, has the cutest child)

valtteri bottas (unproblematic king, cyclist, makes his own alcohol, is ass out on netflix and has his own naked calendar called bott ass, mullet mustache man)

zhou guanyu (baby fashion icon, trying his best in a medium shit car, first chinese driver ever in f1)

daniel ricciardo (class clown, made the worst career mistake of leaving red bull and is now trying to get back in, from australia but is a texas cowboy, usually fucking shit up, just wants to tickle his scrotum and touch his nutsack)

yuki tsunoda (wants to chef, was forcibly moved to italy by his team cause he didn’t want to work out with his trainer, short king, usually gets sacrificed to the luck gods, cursed radios)

alex albon (so insanely barbie coded, filmed a cereve commercial in his hotel room with his girlfriend, definitely dyes his own hair with box dye, incredible oldest sibling energy, single-handedly carrying williams)

logan sargeant (what the fuck is a kilometer!!!! only american in f1, usually found in dead last or kissing walls, one of his essential items is heinz burger sauce, says mate with an american accent)

[gemsofgreece]

People are saying why are racists commenting on the live action of How to train your dragon because they race swapped a female lead.

It's always the same comments "it's a fantasy movie, chill" "stop hating on the characters". Well dear Karen i wouldn't mind if Disney wasn't so obviously greedy. They defend a corporation αν είναι δυνατόν-

The movies are supposed to be about Vikings myths so of course all the characters in the original animation looked like Vikings. They think people are hating on the actors? No the studios are the problem 😭

Same with the Witcher on Netflix. In which the series was based on a POLISH BOOK. And guess what? Zero Polands and the material was ruined to make it the next Game of thrones.

Some things like dragons and monsters existed and meant something to these cultures, but of course they always think progress is more skin colour than cultural heritage.

I don’t know what other ways I can come up to explain to them that I and all who agree would 100000 times over watch a show taking place in Africa with African characters about African heritage than one about a race bent Viking in which Nordic culture becomes like a pop culture pie anyone can take a piece from because ✨visibility✨🤡

Visibility is showing the heritage of those who are neglected and showing heritage accurately.

(Also you gotta love them calling everyone racist when they are almost certainly the ones who spend the most time thinking about skin colour globally. Fellows do I have news for you )

Another thing, many of these projects that based on the plot would need white / white-passing actors inexplicably race bend one character and the rest remain accurate. What does this tell you? That creators only do this to be “approved” and play the “look I got the diversity too!” card and not because this is the way they envision their work. Otherwise, they would have a cast where everyone is diverse, people from all the parts of the world, and not 20 north European looking actors and one inexplicable African-American, for example.

It’s really so hypocritical, I can’t believe people eat it up…

[freezerbrldes]

A Long, Unfortunate while

PAIRING. Lucy Gray Baird x Coriolanus Snow

WARNINGS. Mentions of abuse and SA (not too in-depth but its still there)

AUTHOR'S NOTE. This is my first time writing and using Tumblr so please bear with me lol. This series is based on the album Preacher's Daughter by Ethel Cain. If you're unfamiliar with that album I highly recommend listening to it because it is honestly one of the greatest albums in the last decade. I changed some of the story up so it's not so predictable for people who know the lore behind the album. Also, I made Lucy Gray 18 years old and Coryo 20 years old for the sake of this story because it gets pretty dark towards the end (iykyk).

credit to @cafekitsune for dividers

now on ao3

Chapter One: American Teenager

I stand before the mirror, amazed at how the rainbow dress paired with the cream-colored corset and subtle makeup transformed my features. I’m not one to dress up, but since I’m attending the homecoming dance with Billy Taupe, I need to wear something other than my usual oversized t-shirts and baggy jeans. 

Never in a million years did I think he’d ever ask me out, let alone as his homecoming date. Billy and I grew up together in Shady Grove, a very small town in rural Alabama. We’ve never been close friends in school, but I always had a huge crush on him. He is the star player on the football team and is by far the most sought-after guy in school. 

Billy had been dating Arachne Crane, the captain of the cheer squad and the local bitch of Shady Grove High. He caught her making out with Fetus Creed under the bleachers after a game a few months ago, he broke up with her right on the spot. Since then he has talked to me more than he ever has. I didn’t think much of it until one day after chemistry class he stopped me in the hallway and asked me to homecoming. I was shocked but accepted anyway, hoping it would eventually lead us into a relationship.

I walked down the steps where my mother was ready with her Polaroid camera. 

“Oh my” she exclaimed, “You look beautiful.” She began snapping picture after picture, my eyes closed in almost every single one from how blinding the flash was. She grabbed my arms and tried to position me into a pose, taking even more pictures. After about 10 more photos, I had enough.

“Okay Mama, you got more than enough pictures, I need to go,” I say as I hear Billy pull into the driveway, honking the horn to let me know he’s here. 

“Let me go outside and say hi to the boy, I haven’t seen him in so long,” She says as she tries to open the door and walk outside. I immediately shut the door and blocked it with my body. 

“Please no, mama, he’s in a hurry and we gotta leave right now.” I began cracking open the door and inching my way through before my mother could get outside., not wanting her to embarrass men in front of Billy. 

Billy hops out of the truck and opens the passenger side door for me. 

“Wow, Lucy Gray, you look... stunning,” He says with a laugh as he looks me up and down. I blush at his words, not used to receiving compliments. 

“Thank you, Billy, you look great too” I replied. 

“Oh, Thanks,” Billy said. “It's the same suit I wore to your dad’s funeral.”

My heart sinks at his response.

My father passed away four years ago. He was the preacher at Shady Grove Baptist church for over 25 years. He was well respected around town. Everyone loved him and the services he led every Sunday. If only they knew what a monster that man was when he was not leading the congregation.

He and Mama did a good job of acting like they were happy together whenever they were at church or neighborhood cookouts, but no one could see the bruises that he would leave on my and Mama's bodies sometimes.

I shake myself out of my memories as Billy helps me into his truck and heads towards the school. The drive was mostly quiet. Every now and then he'll ask me about church or tell me about his recent football games, which I pretend to care about.

He parks the truck in the parking lot as I watch all the girls dressed in lavish ball gowns enter the school, they all make mine look insignificant in comparison. Billy helps me out of the truck and into the gymnasium. 

The room was filled to the brim with people, the DJ playing terrible remixes of various pop songs as people danced. I’m not a party girl, never even been to one other than birthday parties as a kid. The thought of the loud music mixed with sweaty bodies grinding against each other was enough to steer me far away from that lifestyle.

“I’m going to get us some punch, I’ll be right back,” Billy says as he maneuvers through the sea of people. 

I find an empty table in the corner away from all the commotion and make my way over to it. I take a seat and watch the crowd as everyone dances along to the music. Billy emerges from the crowd holding two glasses of red punch. 

“Thanks,” I say as I take the drink from him and have a sip. We sit in silence as the opening notes of Time After Time play. Billy looks over at me and places a hand over mine.

“Would you like to dance?” I look down at our hands and then look back at him. 

“Uh, sure, but I’ve never danced before,” I reply, my eyes avoiding his in embarrassment as I finish the last of my punch.

“That’s fine, I’ll teach ya” Billy stands from the table, his hand now holding mine, as he leads us to an empty spot on the dance floor. He places my hands on his shoulders before placing his on my hips. 

Billy began to sway us back and forth with the music and for a moment it felt like we were the only two people in the room. My confidence began to grow as I rested my head on his chest, listening to the beat of his heart instead of the music.

His grip on my waist got tighter as he pulled me closer to his body., my chest now flush against his. He begins kissing up the side of my neck as his hands move further down my waist and he grips my ass. I feel him snake a hand up my thigh and under my dress.

“Billy, what are you doing?” I muttered, trying to push his hands off of me, but his grip was too strong. At the same time, I began to feel a little dizzy, Did he put something in my punch?

"Just relax, baby," He whispers into my ear. He then grinds his crotch into my thigh as his hands search for the waistband of my panties.

"Billy, stop, let me go," I beg quietly, but he ignores my pleas.

Before he could get any further, a shrill voice spoke, causing Billy and I to both jump.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Lucy Gray Baird, what a surprise! I wasn’t expecting Billy to bring you to homecoming. I see he’s almost won the bet.” Arachne laughed, and her cheerleader friends giggled along with her. “Arachne, leave her alone,” Billy muttered, getting in between her and me. 

“Bet? What bet?” I questioned. “Billy, what is she talking about?” 

“I-It’s nothing Lucy Gray really-” 

“Billy made a bet with Festus that he could get laid by the preacher’s daughter,” Arachne interrupted, grinning widely. 

My face heated up as I felt tears well up in my eyes. This was all part of a bet? I thought to myself. I glared at Billy as he desperately tried to talk his way out of this.

“I-I wasn’t being serious, We were just joking around, I would never try to pressure you into anything I swear.” He stutters, his hand scratching the back of his neck.

“Did you really think Billy would ever go for you willingly?” Arachne snickered, “You look like a circus clown in that dress, and besides, the only reason he came here tonight with you is to get a quick 50 bucks”

“That’s not true, I came here with you because I-” Billy is cut off by Arachne’s giggling once again.

“Oh my god Billy, you like her?”

“N-no, I didn’t say that-” Billy adds, before he finished his sentence I turned away and headed towards the door. Before I could get to the door, Arachne cut me off and threw her punch all over my dress, staining it a dark scarlet red. I felt all eyes on me as she began to laugh. Soon it sounded like everyone in the room was laughing at me.

I pushed my way through the crowd and ran out the door and through the parking lot, walking down the empty, dark road. The sound of cicadas chirping in the trees surrounded me as I made my way down the street.

I had no clue if it was whatever Billy slipped into my punch, but all I wanted to do was run into the forest and let the wildlife consume me alive. Anything at this point would be better than facing everyone in class on Monday, especially Billy and Acrachne, but the thought of leaving Mama all alone, not knowing what happened to me quickly sucked me right out of that thought.

About 30 minutes into my walk, Headlights illuminate the road as they head towards me. An old beat-up pickup truck pulls over on the side of the road a few feet in front of me. As I walk past the window is rolled down to reveal a young man with long blond hair behind the wheel.

“You know, it's not safe to walk on the side of the road when it's this dark,” he says with a friendly smile,  “Do you need a ride?” 

I took a moment to think. I hear a lot of horror stories about women getting kidnapped from hitchhiking like this, but this guy looks very nice and he seems to be worried about my safety. There’s no a way crazed serial killer would ever be in a town this small anyway. 

“Yeah, I’d love that,” I answered as I approached the truck, getting into the passenger seat. I got in and gave him directions to my house, which was about 25 minutes away from the school. 

“My name’s Coriolanus, what’s yours?” He asks, I notice his accent is a lot different from anyone around here, he must be from out of town. 

“Lucy Gray,” I replied as he began to drive.

“Lucy Gray.. That’s a pretty name,” He smiles at me. 

“You don’t sound like you’re from here, where are you from?” I asked, looking over at his large collection of cassette tapes on the dashboard. From the looks of it, he must really like Metallica.

“I’m from Florida, I’m just passing through here on my way to California.” He answers as he lights a cigarette. 

“You’re driving from Florida to California? Isn’t that like a 40-hour drive?” I inquired, this man has to be insane or something to wanna do that all by himself.

“Yes, it's a very long drive,” he laughed. “My father was a truck driver and would always come home talking about how therapeutic driving all across America was, I’m hoping I’ll find it just as therapeutic as he did,” Coriolanus mutters, he looked almost sad for a second but quickly snapped out of it. "And there are so many more opportunities for me out there than there are back home."

I could almost sense the sadness in the air as he spoke about his father, he must have lost his father too. Almost like he knew I was going to question him about his father, he spoke again.

“May I ask what you are dressed up for?” He asks, glancing at my dress.

“I was at the homecoming dance tonight at school, my date was a dick so I left,” I said, playing with my hands in my lap as I spoke.

“God, that sucks,” Coriolanus replied, “well, he’s missing out big time, you are a very beautiful girl” he looks over at me and smiles sweetly. “What’s all that red on your dress?”

“My date’s ex-girlfriend decided to throw her drink at me before I left, I guess she was jealous that I went to the dance with him instead of her,” I said as I laughed slightly, feeling comfortable around Coriolanus as I spoke about my humiliating experience.

“Yeah, I imagine,” He says as he looks over my dress once more.

I watched Coriolanus as he continued to drive down the dark highway. He notices and quickly looks over, his eyes meet mine for the first time. I’m taken aback by his blue eyes are, they're almost as blue as a clear sunny sky. He smiles as I blush and look back down at my lap nervously.

“I’ve always dreamed of leaving Shady Grove, starting a new life in a big city somewhere,” I confessed. 

Coriolanus looked at me as I stared out the window.

“I know we don’t know each other at all,” he started, “but if you were up for it, you could join me on my trip.”

I looked over at him again, my eyes lit up. 

“You want me to stay?” I asked, a smile forming on my lips.

“I won’t force you into anything of course, but I could really use the company,” Coriolanus smiled, “I feel like I might go insane driving all by myself,” He laughs as he waits for me to answer.

Living in a small town, you’re not really taught to not talk to strangers. Everyone knows everyone, a little too much sometimes. Coriolanus seems like a genuinely good person, and he’s offering me a chance to escape, one that may never come again. I know my Mama would miss me, but once I get to California I’ll be sure to write her to let her know I’m okay. This is my one shot at leaving the town, and I'm not about to pass it up.

“I’d love to join you, Coriolanus,” I replied, grinning at him once again.

He looks at me, returning a smile.

“Well then, let’s get out of here, Lucy Gray.”

[pixel-bloom]

OC Deep Dive Questionnaire Tag

Thanks for the tag @natolesims!!!

1. What uncommon/common fear do they have?

he has extreme anxiety and hates what people might think of him

2. Do they have any pet peeves?

chronic lateness. he hates waiting around for someone.

3. What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

"intellectual" books (is what his sisters call them), old figurines, composition books filled with thoughts

4. What do they notice first in a person?

Their voice, he's usually too nervous to look at people straight in the eyes.

5. On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Maybe a 5. He's no stranger to gym soreness, so he's used to pain here and there.

6. Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Flight! In fact, he'll make a run for it even before pressure starts. Can't be stressed about a situation if you leave it before it gets stressful!

7. Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

He has a mid-size family; two siblings, some aunts and uncles here and there. He loves his family and considers them his only friends. He's happy with that fact! They're the coolest people he knows--Mom is a lawyer, Dad builds furniture from scratch, sisters are artistic, his aunt is a musician/artist, and his uncles..uh they're kinda freeloaders in the city. Every kid's dream future 😎

8. What animal represents them best?

Hmmm that's a tough one. I'd love to say a grasshopper (haha) but let's go with a cheetah. Yeah I know you're thinking cool and collected, but cheetahs are actually SUPER anxious, expend a lot of energy with a task, and prefer to be alone. Also, he can run hella fast.

9. What is a smell that they dislike?

Burnt pancakes. Yuck.

10. Have they broken any bones?

No, he's pretty cautious. He's definitely gotten cuts and bruises galore though.

11. How would a stranger likely describe them?

Quiet (almost invisible) and soft-spoken. Just a kid that sits in the back of the class. He comes to school, then leaves. People would likely forget he was there.

12. Are they a night owl or a morning bird?

100% a morning bird. His parents are up at the crack of dawn and he's made it habit to get up early.

13. What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

hate - artificial banana

love - matcha. mmmmm bitter.

14. Do they have any hobbies?

He's been told to write things down in notebooks (therapy) but he doesn't necessarily enjoy it--it's just something he does to regulate his emotions. He likes to watch bad movies, read old poetry, and hit the gym.

15. Boom, surprise birthday party!How do they react to surprises?

He hates surprises. If it's just his family, he won't be too upset. He'll put on a happy face and participate in any party things. If there's randos invited, he'll force himself to stay but he'll eventually wander back to his room. His parents have learned to not throw him parties.

16. Do they like to wear jewelry?

Somewhat. His sister is always trying to get him to pierce his face, but he sticks to his grandmother's necklace. He's thought about wearing rings, but he doesn't feel like he fits that vibe.

17. Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Pretty neat for a teenage boy. Not the best but you could make it out. He tried to learn cursive to copy the script he sees in old poetry books, but got frustrated.

18. What are two emotions they feel the most?

Anxious & Embarrassed.

19. Do they have a favorite fabric?

Flannel. It's comfortable.

20. What kind of accent do they have?

If we were comparing him to everyone else...a normal American accent. Maybe one with a low inflection/tone. tbh only Theo has an accent in my game lmao

I'd love to see an OC deep dive from @payte, @potential-fate, @mosneakers, @sparkiekong, @ashubii, & @nitrozem ✨

[corvidcall]

Fascinated by your sarah z hate- would love to hear more about this if you’d like to share. My experience of her is just that mediocre Homestuck vid or something she made.

lmao yeah sure i guess i can expound on it

i should preface this by saying that i dont think shes like. a bad person. and i dont have some secret knowledge of problematique things shes done that we should all Cancel her for.

tl;dr i just think her videos are really bad. she keeps making videos about stuff that i was there for and then being wrong about them, and it drives me crazy. on top of that, it just rubs me the wrong way to make your whole brand "the lady who talks about tumblr"

like, i think her homestuck video sucks (and i think its very funny that she admitted that she only spent a week making it, but ALSO got really defensive when people said she was wrong about stuff. like, i think the way whatpumpkin and andrew hussie responded to her video was Bad but also that doesnt retroactively defend the original video from being poorly researched and, in my opinion, in bad taste. it was weird to make a video where you talk about all the controversy about hs^2 not that long after the whole project got cancelled because too many of the trans women working on it were receiving daily death threats)

and i think the mcelroys video sucks (that was the last one i watched before i gave up entirely. its really long and very boring, and basically is just her listing a bunch of stuff they did that people had problems with, which essentially puts "travis was annoying on twitch" on the same level of seriousness as "taz: graduation used a lot of harmful native american stereotypes". i genuinely am not sure what the point of this video was supposed to be, because it feels like its her reading a tumblr callout post. also she was wrong about taz: amnesty. the ending WAS foreshadowed, it did NOT come out of nowhere, she just wasnt paying attention.)

but the onceler fandom video is honestly the absolute pits. i am still friends with a lot of the people that i was in the onceler fandom with, and i genuinely havent met a single former onceslut who thought her video was good, or the least bit accurate. her thesis basically boils down to that the onceler fandom was just a bunch of young teen girls projecting fantasies onto a nonthreating decently attractive fictional guy, which isnt that weird and people are only making a big thing about it because they hate teenage girls. and her conclusions arent WRONG, per say, since people DO hate teen girls and this is a thing theyre known to do... its just. thats literally not what the onceler fandom was at all?? first off, when i got into it i was 17 and i was the youngest person i knew by far. almost everyone i saw in the fandom were in their 20s, and a lot of them were not girls at all. and as far as any of US remember, the thing sustained the fandom wasnt 13 year old girls exploring their nascent sexualities, it was people using the barest pretense to make OCs, and then craft stories with and about their friends OCs. it was a really cool unique experience because it was a fandom for the things the fandom built. a lot of the people i knew had never watched the movie The Lorax at all, or didnt really care about it one way or another, but DID get really invested in the dynamic between Swag and One, or got really invested in the two big AUs the fandom had. By the time i got there, most people had kinda moved away from the canon onceler anyway, and were focused almost exclusively on the AUs (there was a high school AU and a zombie apocalypse AU, and then during the summer the high school AU blogs would do a child summer camp AU. i liked the zombie one best because i love melodrama, but the high school one was most popular). i know she was IN the onceler fandom (allegedly...) but as far as i can tell, she was just there at the very start, because it changed WILDLY even just a few months after its inception. and there's no way anyone who saw the fandom that I was actually in would make the sweeping statements about it that she did.

broadly, her videos are too unfocused and not really well-written. her one on Oppa Homeless Style was a genuinely good video!! I know she CAN do good videos!! But so many of her more fandom-focused videos dont really seem to have a thesis beyond "this happened" or maybe even "this was kinda weird right?". like what is the viewer supposed to take away from the video about the mcleroys? that they made a podcast that was really popular and then got less popular? why did that take you TWO HOURS to say? and even when she does have a strong thesis, its always muddied by the fact that she feels compelled to add in really long, boring digressions. I think the video about All or Nothing was good, and made an interesting point about how pan and ace people are really starved for meaningful rep, but i dont understand why she felt compelled to recount the entire plot of the webseries someone made? what did that contribute to the thesis? its like shes reading a wikipedia page, and not like. an actual ESSAY. that someone structured to convey a POINT.

but overall i just take umbrage with her whole "tumblr historian" shtick. i think its kind of gross to put really niche (generally woman-dominated) subcultures on display so people can come gawk at the freaks. ive heard the defense that "she IS a fandom person!! these videos are FOR fandom people!!" but 1. if its supposedly supposed to be for me and NOT an audience of people unfamiliar with the thing shes talking about, then there would be no need to spend so long explaining what everything is, and 2. i can at least say, in my own subjective experience, that i said basically all this to my sister, who told me that thats why she likes sarah z at all, because the videos let her come gawk at all the fandom freaks on tumblr. so its cool that sarah z is giving the person who bullied me my whole life (specifically because the way i engaged with media was too cringe) more reasons to bully me for being cringe. big preesh sarah. glad youre making money off of the free content all of us put out, and even more glad that youre profiting by taking all that free content and presenting it to a largely hostile and judgemental audience who already thinks im a fucking idiot. why dont you make a video about my popular hamlet post next, since you seem to make videos exclusively about things i did.

anyway if i want to watch video essays about fandom, i'll watch princess weekes, whose videos are substantive and not... idk very juvenile. not that i think there cant be more than one youtuber talking about fandom!!! its just that sarah z's videos are mid at best and actively bad at worst, so im not gonna bother.

(all that being said, i occasionally look at her blog and reblog stuff. while shes working down in the tumblr mines looking for content to steal, she does frequently find some decent posts to reblog)

[tubbytarchia]

Someone asked for other reasons I hate Estonia but there's a lot so I'm making it into a post instead lol

TLDR: very conservative (eg homophobic), expensive living rates and low pay, we get no good stuff, estonians are rude, russians in estonia are rude, domestic abuse rates, estonia is a lame country

I am not claiming that these are exclusive to Estonia, please fuck off if you think that makes my complaints invalid

Estonians are piss conservative (so majorly transphobic, homophobic, anti-abortion etc) (Also racist)

Estonians are fucking rude. There is extremely little common decency like respect for the elderly and junk. Estonians are so quirky because they're so introverted (Estonians very frequently describe Estonians as such) (and often easily aggravated) and then they're SOO introverted that they refuse to even help others. It's not a norm to tip ANYONE or thank workers like bus drivers. I sprained my knee at a store entrance and that shit hurts so I had to keel over for awhile, and yet I felt like I was being a bother by not getting out of the way enough for all the people who couldn't care less. I have so many personal examples but I'll give you my best: My pregnant sister passed out in the middle of a major grocery store only for NO ONE to call for an ambulance until she came to and had to do so herself.

Something I barely ever hear anyone talk about!!! But domestic abuse!! Casual domestic abuse is so normalized that no one ever says anything, a survey from a few years ago found that 1 in 6 Estonians are sexually abused in childhood alone. A survey from this year found that 41% of the women questioned experienced domestic abuse at the hands of their partner. I cannot understate how big of a problem it is that victims just DON'T TALK (and that's not their fault!!!! It's the country's!!!)

About 25% of our population is Russian, and I would not complain about this if 1. Russians living here weren't massive assholes a lot of the time, expecting everyone to speak Russian instead of them learning Estonian or just being fucking respectful (DISCALIMER MY EXPERIENCE AND WHAT I'VE HEARD FROM OTHERS and junk, I'm not generalizing everyone, is this really a racist comment? I seriously do have wayyy more negative experiences with Russians than pleasant, that doesn't mean there aren't decent or nice Russians living here) and 2. if Estonia DIDN'T ENFORCE Russian. I get it, the Russian occupation and whatever shit! But these days you can't even become a good paying DOCTOR with a doctor's degree if you don't also speak Russian

Minimum wage WAS recently increased but the increase was to 4.60USD. While Americans get 7.25USD and I've heard you can get paid like 10USD as a fast food worker too which is crazy to me. Not in Estonia you fucking can't. Wages in general are pretty piss poor and it's often more affordable to just work overseas

Estonia is quaint which is also a plus but to me mostly a minus because I feel so stuck here. Non-Estonians are like "but you have a lot of forests!" like lmao that's the highest possible praise that Estonia can be given. It is incredibly boring here and our highest "mountain" is 318m

The cities are boring. I feel that only two places here can even be called cities, the rest are more like big towns. The capital has some very cool and pretty places but that's about it (ofc Estonia has many cool and pretty locations but compared to other countries? Ughh. Barely any skyscrapers, not many elevated roads or tunnels... all that good stuff)

Our prices are set to become the most expensive in all of Europe!! Local prices have already in some cases doubled in the last year and continue to increase almost monthly, set to increase by another 20% at the start of 2024 lmaoo

Not many big brands. We get some fast food places but no Wendy's or Starbucks or whatever. Nobody wants to invest here, we got Subway recently and they left not even a year later

Not much geek stuff. Estonia has 2 anime stores TOTAL. 4 proper card game stores TOTAL. I'm frankly amazed we even get a singular convention, but we have absolutely no locals. Stores have started selling stuff like Pokemon toys very recently. Even in Finland (overseas neighbor), Pokemon/Digimon/Yugioh was everywhere. And here? Lmao no not ever. Not even ANY school clubs or anything. We get choirs and that's it

Shipping is abysmal. It costs like 10 bucks to send most stuff from Estonia to ANYWHERE in the world, yet it almost exclusively costs 30-50 bucks to ship anything from the US. And shipping fees from even the UK aren't very good either. (Which, again, abysmal accessibility to geek stuff, because people barely ever sell anything in Europe internationally. Mostly US and UK people do, esp because they are the only ones who get any cool stuff)

Local production is expensive as shit because there's little choices because we're still a tiny country. Ofc having your stuff produced in China is always cheaper but then you also gotta wait 3 months for shipping!! Unless you wanna pay 50EUR+ for it of course

Very strict gun laws so I can't go and buy a gun to off myself from this miserable country

[fostersffff]

*sidles over* so.....heard you got upset over ZTD......I'm something of a ZTD hater myself....idk if you have the mental RAM to really get into it rn considering your current projects but I'd love to hear you complain about it at length

So, granted, it's been... seven years (!!!) since I played it, so I don't remember every minor detail, but I can absolutely talk at length about The Fucking Stupid Thing That Fucking Sucks And Makes (Almost) Everything Bad In Retrospect

(big dumb spoilers for ZTD beneath the break)

Of the (admittedly few) VNs I've read, nothing has deflated me harder than getting to the Transporter Room. 999 did a really good job of building up to the idea of morphogenetic fields, and VLR then took that concept and slowly ramped up the "power level" with shifting, so the player could accept greater feats of psuedoscientific nonsense. But that was the universe, and the suspension of disbelief held.

Then, in a single fucking gameplay segment, Uchikoshi went "oh yeah ayylmaos are real and they left an Actual Time Machine that works in the exact specific way that I need for the plot to happen the way I want it to". It cheapened basically everything else that happened afterwards, too! Like, Sigma and Diana realizing Phi is their daughter should be an emotional megaton, and it felt like that at the time, but there something gnawing at me that has since widened out into a cavern because the way they got there was so unbelievably convoluted and unearned.

Delta also sucks in a way that is... kind of what I was expecting? Living up to the hype from VLR was always going to be a long-shot, but then he actually gets lamer as time goes on. On the subject of "shit not being introduced", he gets a set of powers that is effectively parallel to shifting called MIND HACKING because there's literally no other way that he could manipulate the events of the game into happening the way they needed to, so he just got a set of powers that could manipulate the events of the game into happening the way he needed to.

Another thing that jumps out at me is that 80% of how Mira was handled was actually Really Fucking Good, but the last 20% sucks so hard it, again, almost invalidates all of it. Smoking hot uninterested super babe dating The Biggest Loser On Earth who seems (to the player) like she's just there to have big titties for the player to look at is then revealed to be a violent serial killer who can only feel when she's murdering, which is the actual reason she's so uninterested and "dating" the loser is so she can murder him later. But then it turns out (checking the wiki real quick to refresh my memory) that one of her first victims was the loser's mom, which actually tied into everything else that ever happened in the series. And then they have the audacity to throw in the happy epilogue where they're like "BABE WE'RE MARRIED NOW AND WE'RE GONNA GO USE THE (fucking) AYYLMAO TRANSPORTER TO CURE YOU OF YOUR BRAIN PROBLEMS". Not everyone needs to have a happily ever after ending!

Carlos sucks too, but in a benign way for the most part? Like, he's there because they needed three people on a team, and he's a Main Character Man, and that's about it. It's very funny that the Grand Finale is him pointing a gun at Delta, like this has been his story all along, when it should probably be Akane beating him to death.

Also, the last and most obvious thing, the "style" of ZTD was always an annoying point, because even though the character artwork is gorgeous, they instead decided that they had to use some of the stiffest looking 3D models "to appeal to Americans" or something (even though the American fanbase evidently was cool with character portraits considering they bought 999 and VLR in the first place), made worse by the fact that it's originally a 3DS game, so even uprezzing doesn't help all that much.

I think that's all I can remember, but seriously: more than anything else, fuck that Ayylmao Transporter.

[jc-lambert]

Harley Davidson Motors

To be perfectly honest with you...

I just had a big fat series of seizures which resulted again in nuclearly driven thunderstorms and me waking up dead under the Amidon Bridge. Too: I am sort of off my medication so let me check my blog from yesterday to see what, when, and where my mind was prior to contacting you.

I am sort of dead set on a Cooper Clubman, but have always been told to buy from Elway.

Which are sold somewhere in this region. However it occurs to me that there is this big huge giant issue that is most likely to pop up called "Civic & Business Competition and competative markets" (which are truly the reason I am to be kept in a mental institution. I would rather kill someone and engage in racist and regionalist genocidal war tactics when such markets pop up. Especially those that would strip one of their speech and religious rights) In most cases: I would rather kill someone for the suggestion that I spend my money or credit on any form of combustion engine technology or even waste my time speaking to those who do use combustion engines in their daily lives.

However there is this moment, when my feet are unable to walk more than 20 miles a day and when a car is needed due to everyone being at class war with the Greyhound Consumer and corporate war with Greyhound Inc. The last time I tried to ride to Kansas from Vancouver, it took the purchase of 2 tickets, the station was full of body bags containing dead people, and I didnt make it to my final destination. Instead I found myself kidnapped and hostage again by the same business networks who have ALWAYS demanded that I eat meat and drive a fucking goddamn automobile made by slave driven American corporations, and perfectly of human fucking goddamn design.

It's truly like that when my siblings or educators are given any voice or audience in whatever part of the world I live in.

When you mention "Harley-Davidson" I would be more interested in discussing classified patents with the engineers at the factory.

You know, as a Wichitan. Motor bikes are truly moreso my mother's bag. I am moreso to be kept on a pedal trike with a basket or vendor's fridge. It's because she finds combustion engine technologies to be more agreeable whereas I cannot be near them. Too: since that woman likes to call me a monkey and gank my "human/mohawk" cards from me (while being an abusive psychotic senile cunt), it becomes I am disallowed any form of rights and it becomes I am disallowed any form of anything with a wheel or a gear.

So...

My people and I have sat down and put together a little something something in design but lack resources. It would basically be the truest meaning of a violation of the Quantum Initiative, however it would take care of problems for those who are forced to live outside the Human Demographic while ostracized by the Capitalist and Communist Communities. (Do remember, almost everyone has a fascist communist dictator, her name is "Mom". If you have one of those, you are a capitolist or a communist.)

Here: we have the Spirit factory as well as you know the Cessna-Raetheon-Boeing history and goings on....

Which people in my scene could use a bike capable of a tri county hop for the purpose of quick entry and escape.

Authorities have become quite a problem for any and all bikers in this area.

Local biker gangs have finally learned to use the riverwalk and nature trails to elude authorities, especially durring and after raids on gas stations.

The same way all persons and non-persons with interdimensional capabilities and states of being have done for years.

See Also: Hendo Board. Anti-Gravity technologies are expected to remain classified until the year 2075 while AFM technologies are officially declassified (I think). Any and all technologies and patents involving the manipulation of time or the passing of information retrograde to dates expired, are to always remain classified information as per the Quantum Initiative.

So: I would have to be working with a felon to get anything of that nature done. 

You know, getting everything everyone seems to want.

Then there is also this moment...

When many people illegally gambled and maintained that "hoverboards" do not exist and "put it on everything".

Which means many people are at a loss of everything and their everythings are not yet collected.

So, may I borrow your debt collectors and just go get the set of wheels I would rather have? Which truly are in Delano (Del Ano) district of Wichita.

Too: I am worried about counterfeit merchandise. I am currently wearing a pair of boots from the cannibal demographic that were made in Asia, and are marked "Harley Davidson". The boots are perfectly wonderful, I love them: but I would hate to be wearing something overpriced, made by slaves, and sitting here just being a ho dontchya know in Kansas yo perfectly kidnapped and wearing fishnet...

and that something has the name "Harley" on it.

Naturally speaking...

I would be wearing Doc Martens or Birkenstock out of protest of American Authority....

However combat boots designed by Asian Slaves kept by the United States Military and sold only on the Gambino Counterfeit market....

those work and yes they are comfortable and wonderful, but most likely counterfeit merch.

Should they not be counterfeit merch: all corporations could collect "corporate criminal charges" which could reverberate all the way through even to the sales team.

So hopefully theyre not sold by your store.

[cleliacleliadatura]

I was so obsessed with Turin that while there got a tattoo of the city's symbol on my foot with my close friend from the summer Claudia, who was from Switzerland. She spoke ~6 languages: Swiss-German, French, Italian, English, Spanish and German.

Fluently.

Andrea backed out of the tattoo idea last minute.

One of our trio's favorite songs to listen to while exploring on breaks was Starships by Nicki Minaj. We managed to escape from Italy by train to her grandmother's log cabin in the Swiss Alps, where she made us homemade streusel. It was surreal.

I'll never forget how perfect the crust was, and how fresh the berries were. She didn't speak a word of English to us.

Claudia also took us to a real fūtbol match, in Bern, where the fans wore yellow shirts with black stripes and everyone had huge mugs of really good cheap beer. Thanks to her friendship, it was as if we were locals for a brief moment in time.

Later that evening, someone dropped acid in our drinks and we wandered around cow fields til 3 am, laughing hysterically at the moon.

Skateboarders in a park nearby got us to join their tag.

We even went, briefly, to a silent disco of germanic EDM.

Not cool, the getting drugged part. Against our will. #strangerdanger

To this day, the person who I suspect did this to us runs through my mind. As expected, looked disheveled, was a man, and had a sketchy backpack with a hurried gait. Too classic. We were too busy soaking up the ephemeral reality of being young, happy, full-of-life friends in a new place surrounded by nice people to truly pay attention.

Pay Attenzione! Bernadette would tell me as my thoughts wandered when we went out for an aperitif and I almost tripped on my face.

Where were they? Was I not "paying" enough in some way for the gift of thought, or was her statement an innocuous warning-not a lifetime premonition...

Regarding the tattoo....

Years later thoughts of guilt washed over me-I was told tattoos brought evil spirits and energy. A portal to hell.

Did I bring this to my life because of a tattoo, or for touching an ancient statue Bernadette explicitly told me not to touch?

That was the most brazen dumb American thing I ever did-the bronze outdoor statue. It has a name, but I don't want to share it. Supposedly it has centuries of evil, sadness, despair and dark magic funneled into it from the sadness of lost and oppressed souls.

Almost like a moth drawn to a flame, I placed my hand on the monstrous replica. Like wanting to see if a hot stove was truly scalding.

I really regret that decision.

As I type this, the lights flickered and skipped a beat.

Typical when the wavelength of that memory visits me, as if to remind me I haven't escaped some ill begotten curse or karmic debt.

Probably more appropriately deemed dharma.

As the Yoga teacher in Ahta said in a perfectly lyrical silvery tone, "Resistance in the left side of your body is for all the things you haven't done, the words left hanging, contracts unfulfilled"

I wished I'd never heard those words.

The hot flush of cowardice consumes me.

Pictured above... my friend Francesco, who took me to see The Flaming Lips. Not pictured, Claudia.

I had a secret Canon Rebel T3 camera, but the security detail confiscated all my awesome pics from being on stage as a munchkin.

Francesco helped me break free from Incubus, graduating to the next level of Smashing Pumpkins, another grunge 90s rock band favorite for Italian men-so it seems.

Grieving the loss of Jack in my life lead me to line dancing in Piazza San Marco as cotton-eyed joe blasted for some random event of time in which Venetians & Wyomites found a common ground....it could've been worse...

But at the time, all I wanted was for him to be there, too.

Not with her.

I was only 20.

Maybe Harry was right, maybe 2012 really did bring about the end of the timeline as we knew it thanks to the Mayan Calendar celestial implosion.

Something like that, probably should've paid better attention to such a cosmically riveting universal event.

[steverubenfaer]

Living Vacation

After living in San Francisco for more than 20 years, it was time to leave. And as in all of my previous moves, the principal reason for leaving was because I was done there. I wasn’t sure where to move to, but nowhere in the US sounded appealing (not much does after you live in SF and won’t live anywhere colder). A friend lived in SMA, and suggested I move down there, and it just happened pretty quickly after that. I had always wanted to live in another country & learn their language, and since I had just started a business, the lower cost sounded great. The timing seemed perfect.

The most remarkable part of moving to SMA was how easy it was, it didn’t feel any different than moving within the US. Things are a little different, but it wasn’t difficult to move. I really liked my first year in SMA; I missed hiking around the Bay Area, but I walked all over San Miguel, aesthetically it has few equals. But I always felt that something was ‘too easy’ about living here, something I could never define. When I brought this up to people living in SMA, they immediately recognized what I was referring to, and could answer me with responses I knew had to have come from previous thought on this exact issue. One guy absolutely agreed with me, and said ‘so what? I decided long ago that it was worth it.’ Someone already had this exact dilemma years ago! At first this didn’t bother me, because there was so much to explore. But I really wasn’t sure if after I had seen everything there was to see, would there be anything left under the hood to keep me in SMA.

One of the unexpected awesome things about SMA is all the places to travel nearby; for gringos almost any Mexican town with a square & church are lovely. Guanajato, Salvatierra, Pozos, there are tons of cute towns less than 2 hours away, gorgeous places that Americans have never heard of. After a year in SMA my partner wanted to move out of town because of the cuahetes. I would have stayed in SMA longer, but felt like living somewhere else could be fun – and for the first time, I started thinking about the concept of moving before I felt like I was done with a place, just to try someplace new.

My partner & I wanted to travel, but we had full-time jobs, and were a bit poor. So we had an idea – why not move around Mexico, changing home base every six months or so. We could experience living in new cities; but also travel on the weekends and explore many new places, place that would each take days of travel & much cost from SMA but were easy from the new base. Since winter was coming, we decided to try the Yucatan for our first such endeavor, and we took an exploratory trip to Merida to check it out. We weren’t super impressed with Merida, it seemed a little like Queretero, a huge modern city wrapped around a small Centro Historico. We were looking for a prettier city, something more colonial, and checked out Valladolid a couple hours away, really the only other major city in the Yucatan. We loved it immediately, it is small but gorgeous, and decided to move there for 5 months, leaving for somewhere else yet undecided before the summer. Our leases ended March 31, and for the first time in my life, I moved somewhere with an expiration date.

If moving to SMA was not that different than moving somewhere in the US, moving to Valladolid was definitely different, way different. It wasn’t so easy like SMA, it had more of a third world feel, doing things was more difficult. Paying the water bill meant going to headquarters, where there might be a long line, or the cashier might have just left for an hour, with everyone still waiting. There is no laundry machine in the entire city hooked up to hot water. Little things took much more time than they should have. No one spoke English. Nothing major, no real issues mostly just things of convenience, but just a lot of little things that made life a little ‘harder’ there.

It made me realize what it was about SMA that was so easy – SMA just completely caters to gringos. It is the world’s largest retirement home basically, designed for easy living for gringos who don’t want to learn Spanish, who basically want the same experience as America, except with better weather & lower prices. Not that everyone in SMA is on that program, but if that’s what you want out of your life, there is no place I have seen that caters to you like SMA; you can pretty much live your life the same way you did back in the States. If you are one of those people, SMA is not that different than living in the US. If you are one of those people, Yucatan might be a difficult experience for you, at first.

There were a lot of expats, but surprisingly, there were almost no gringos; the expats and visitors were almost all from Northern Europe, and you always heard French, German, and strange Scando languages around town; going out to dinner felt like being in a Bergman movie. The city itself has a very Euro feel to it, at night it seems like you are in Rome the way everything is lit.

Valladolid isn’t a place I would consider moving to forever (too small, weather), but for 5 months it was a lovely experience. Because I knew I was moving out soon, it made me feel like my entire life was a vacation, even though I was working the entire time. It was a very different feeling than a more permanent move, where you are trying to ‘spread roots’ or ‘build up your network’. But we were there to travel around the peninsula, and that we did, and it was spectacular.

In 5 months, we were able to travel almost every place we wanted. Everything is close by in the small peninsula, we definitely felt like it was enough time to see everything. And travelling in this part of the world is super cheap, much cheaper than Guanajato. Busses are cheap, rental cars are reasonable, nice Airbnb’s or hotels easily under 1000. Breakfast for 2 for 100 pesos or so; Valladolid is pretty inexpensive, but the surrounding villages/towns are much cheaper.

Basically, the plan to travel while being poor & having full time jobs worked; by moving to a new place, and traveling on weekends, We were able to work full time, travel to many new places, and life seemed like a vacation. I know I wasn’t the first to think of this idea, but I’ve never heard it quite expressed in this way.

I’m back in SMA, but there’s nowhere here for me to explore anymore, and it’s time to move on. What would be perfect would be to string together 6-mont stints in various cities around Mexico, centers that have concentric circles to explore. Oaxaca, Puebla, San Cristobal, SLP, Monterrey, are just some of the cities that seem like they would be great to live in for 6 months, to explore the town & surroundings. At some point maybe I’ll want to land somewhere & ‘spread roots’, but for now, the allure of exploring these Mexican towns is more seducing.

[zeldahime]

This is already a very long post, so forgive me for adding to it! But I’d like to say also: there’s significant regional variation in American culture too, and realizing that can help you put a finger on what your own culture is and looks like.

I’m originally from a tiny town in Arizona that borders the Navajo Nation. Now I live in the Maryland suburbs of Washington DC. There is a humongous difference between America as experienced in rural Arizona and as experienced in urban Maryland.

First of all: food. I can’t find Mexican food that tastes “right” for love nor money, because I’m used to a very specific Sonorazona palate and also to tacos costing like a buck each, not $15-$20 for three. I haven’t had carne asada fries or a decent breakfast burrito in well over a year. There’s a thriving Mexican-American community here, but they’re Marylanders, and I just ain’t. (This isn’t quite true – there’s a specific restaurant I found that is so nearly like what I ate at home – but 90% of places I have tried are just Off in an indescribable way that probably boils down to things like “the water is different” and “chilis here just aren’t that spicy”). There’s no frybread and no Navajo tacos, excepting at the NMAI’s museum cafe, which is such a completely different experience from the high school band putting on a frybread sale that it almost doesn’t even count. On the flip side? I’d never had crab or Old Bay before. Crabs and Old Bay are practically a religion in Maryland, and they’re absolutely delicious. It’s an entire universe of food culture I never even knew existed.

Second: music. Oh, most music is the same cross-country of course; pop and rock are universal constants; somehow all of us seem to know Don’t Stop Believin’ and Bohemian Rhapsody and All I Want For Christmas Is You whether we like it or not. But I grew up with country on the radio, with Gretchen Wilson and Tim McGraw and Willie Nelson and Tanya Tucker. I’d never even heard of go-go music; I thought it was just the name of the boots, but go-go is practically the soul of DC. The local BLM protests in 2020 even featured go-go concerts on truck beds. I hadn’t moved here yet and didn’t experience it, but like, isn’t that illustrative? And I’d bet very good money that a lot of the people who grew up here and knew about Chuck Brown and Rare Essence and Trouble Funk don’t have the faintest idea who Hank Williams is.

And like, that’s just a little bit of the differences. Most of the culture is the same, but regional variety comes up in the most unexpected places. “Out of pocket” has always meant “paying with one’s own money” to me, but here it means “someone saying something unexpected and out of their lane and probably very rude.” The state fair is small and unimpressive, whereas at home it’s such a big deal my school would close the Friday before both the Arizona and the New Mexico state fairs. Everyone here makes fun of the giant Mormon temple, but that was the single most normal thing about DC to me when I moved here: the temple is always the biggest building in town, isn’t it? (Not on the east coast, no.) Nobody keeps oven mitts in their cars here or use umbrellas as shades, and they actually use umbrellas to keep from getting wet when it rains.

If I were to move to Illinois tomorrow, or you were to move to Arizona or Maryland, we’d probably shock each other in ways we weren’t expecting! We have culture! It’s 90% the same culture, but that 10% that's a little different? is where you start to see it.

'White Americans don't have any culture, they're just [normal/boring/generic/empty]. 'Culture' is when you're quaint and exotic and have interesting ethnic foods and holidays." is such a grating bit of nonsense to have somehow become progressive commonsense in a lot of places.

[jonfarreporter]

‘Seize the Gaze’ exhibit and the curator, Susan Almazol - truly “Age Defying!”

For artist Susan Almazol, the phrase “age defying” isn’t about a beauty product it’s about energy. And it’s energy or as she calls it “life-force” that she wants to highlight and celebrate in an upcoming exhibit entitled, "Seize the Gaze" opening on May 3.

The exhibition at Joyce Gordon Gallery in Oakland is a captivating immersion curated by Almazol, into the buoyant presence of women of color across generations made possible when women of color themselves determine the gaze -- that lens through which they are seen.

Through bold portraiture, Almazol not only curates the exhibit but is also among the six Asian American, Black, Indigenous, and Latina artists featured. All together, they evoke the profound feminine energies of the sacred, the sensual, and the spirited.

Through their unique perspective of paintings, photographs, digital art, mixed media, and sculpture, the six women invite viewers into an intense and powerful exploration of the limitless spirit of women of color when free of societal constraints.

The "Seize the Gaze" exhibition celebrates the rich tapestry of empowerment and beauty woven by these artists of color.

Almazol took a few moments to speak about her work and a bit about her life.

“I don’t think of myself as ‘all set.’ Life is really an amazing stew of experiences,” she said. And, from her perspective, “old age or rather aging itself can be a continuing evolution of identity."

Almazol has experienced health crises, like others her age, but she's determined to live life to the fullest. “I don’t move as I used to," she said. "But I still want to move and be active.” She added, “All of us are affected by social norms. People have lots expectations and assumptions on how people are supposed to act.”

Yet despite all the norms and expectations, “people are still just people; even if others in general don’t see old people with much identity other than being old,” said Almazol. “Everyone has lots of roles, duties and jobs in their lifetime. They are teachers, parents, managers, director and leaders,” she said. “But when a person gets old, that person in the eyes of the general public is seen and considered as simply old.”

“But, in the circle of friends that I have, no one really ‘acts their age’ as they get older,” said Almazol. “They, like me, are too busy living and wanting to make the most out of life.”

As a visual artist, curator, dancer, and writer based in Oakland, Almazol has always had “a life force” of energy with her. She was uprooted from the Philippines at age 3 because of WWII. After living in Japan, her parents and family immigrated to the United States when she was 5.

These journeys embedded within her an affinity for bold transformation. Not one to question too much why something like a career change or a vocation happens, “I became a ceramics sculptor at 54,” she noted. “And, I danced for the first time on stage at 66.”

But it was in 2017 when she began creating nude self-portraits at age 71 that “I got strong opinions,” she said. “And, some of the opinions were extreme, ranging from support to rejection.”

“What’s interesting," said Almazol "is that up to that point I didn’t get any negative reactions. But it was when I ventured into self-portraits that I realized this form of art provokes strong responses."

Despite the vulnerability in doing art, Almazol continues. Art in any form can be a cathartic experience she said, “In sculpting, for example, when I start I have only a vague idea, and then my hands take over.”

In speaking about her work, fellow artist and colleague Cynthia Tom noted. “Susan and I have known each other for 20 years through the Asian American Women Artists Association.”

As Tom explains. “We were in many exhibits together, but for some reason this last 18 months, we started talking to each other almost daily. We were both sounding boards for each other for different things."

Surprised at first and then impressed by Almazol’s self-portraits, Tom recognized not only the artistic quality of the work but also the “fun, joy, spirit and power” in the work. "I feel like Susan has stepped into her superpower,” she said.

Almazol’s daughter, Octavia Baker, would agree as she said, “My mom is an explorer, a risk taker, and a doer.”

“I nicknamed her ‘can't stop, won't stop,’" said Baker, "for her endless curiosity about the world around her and her prolific ability to create in many art forms.”

Very proud of her mother and the tremendous strength and vitality she radiates, Baker said. “I'm always inspired by her courage to be (more than ‘age-defying’); she’s 'expansive and uncontainable.’ Those are words from her favorite author, Chitra Banerjee Divakaruna.”

‘Seize the Gaze’ opens May 3 and continues for eight weeks through June 29 at Joyce Gordon Gallery located at 406 - 14th St. (between Broadway & Franklin) in downtown Oakland. For more information, visit the Joyce Gordon Gallery website. (Photos: Chris Matos)