#also it's 4 in the afternoon and I'm technically at work right now

[rocketonthemoon]

Not good but “correct” ending? That’s quite the stance

so i'm gunna preface all of this by admitting a) I still haven't seen all of the show (i'm missing a couple of episodes basically from 3/4/ and quite a bit from 5) and that b) it's been a while since I last watched the parts of the show I HAVE seen so. Bear with me

But yes. I absolutely believe this was the Correct ending for the CWSG's version of Kara. like I said, from the get go, the Kara we're introduced to struggles with her dual lifestyle. Becoming Supergirl makes her feel free and confident. She's EXCITED by being able to use her powers and be more of herself instead of hiding all the time. Kara's regularly confronted for being a bad liar - both by the show going 'haha isn't this silly' and by the characters - and personally I view her hard line of "you lied to me" that she draws with other characters comes from her extreme dislike of the fact that she's lying about herself. She comes out to at least one character every season except maybe 3? And every time her behavior with those characters transforms into Kara becoming more comfortable and more herself. And no matter how you view Kara's relationship with Lena, the reveal and the aftereffect is the big push through the season both plot and character-wise

For all of the writing's faults, the one line they did manage to make through the entire season is Kara's struggle with her dual identity. I don't even like calling it "secret" because I think they do actually a decent job of showing that Kara views - or at least wants - her life not as a secret but rather two halves that she can't seem to make fit together. How much of that throughline is Melissa Benoist's understanding and evolution of Kara as a character (the famous interview at the end where she admits to apparently pitching Kara's ending makes me suspect it was quite a bit) and how much of that was actual show projection, I don't think we'll actually ever know. But for this version of Kara that we sat with through 6 seasons of TV with, anything else for a character arc would've just felt static imo. If CWSG can say it's about anything, it can say it's Kara's journey of self discovery.

[thatrandomsarahchick]

DC x DP short

I'm picturing Danny moving to Gotham once he's an adult. He came out to his parents, and it went fine. More than fine. They listened to how he was struggling at school because he kept having to chase down the ghosts they let out by leaving the portal open. Jack was super proud of his son for being a ghost hunter even as a ghost, but Maddie understood his concern and set up some new protocols for the portal.

It now automatically closes after two minutes unless a specific command is put in by Danny to keep it open while he is in the Zone, and the shielding around it actually works to stop ghosts coming trig without hurting them now.

The shine of the mortal world has worn off for most of his regulars now, and those that come through have figured out compromises so they can still fulfil their obsessions without hurting others. The meta-protection act officially disbands the GIW, and Red Huntress is given a very thorough speaking to about personal bias and vendettas. She's not allowed back in the field until she comes to the realisation that ghosts are people too, and that she been the bad guy by hunting them the way she did. Phantom is officially recognised as a Hero, but he turns down working for any teams or joining the Big Leagues. He agrees to act as a back up though, in case of any world ending event.

By the time senior year rolls around, Danny has gotten his grades up enough that he can go to a pretty decent university if he wants to. He chooses Gotham University for his engineering degree because they're a feeder school for Wayne Enterprises, who in turn are a feeder company for working for the Justice League as a civilian engineer. Tucker also chooses GU for their tech program, while Sam elects not to go to university straight away.

Tucker and Danny move into an apartment right on the borders of Crime Alley and The Narrows. Tucker manages an impressive 4 months as a local hacker before Oracle notices him, but Danny only manages 3 weeks before he's spotted by a Bat.

He's lying down a foot above his building's roof, looking at the stars. It's a very rare cloudless night, and the power is out in his area. Poison Ivy had launched an attack earlier in the day that had taken cut the power lines, with her mutant plants feeding on the smog and pollution to get stronger.

Duke was up late, finishing the day shift by a quick loop of The Narrows, when he noticed a slightly glowing teenager(?) floating on one of the roofs. He takes note that the man isn't causing any harm and is just peacefully stargazing, before calling it in to Jason. He was technically supposed to be off the clock an hour ago, and besides, the building was on the Crime Alley side of this street. It's Jason's problem now.

Jason, on the other hand, is exhausted and just wants to have a quiet patrol before collapsing in bed. He hadn't been hit by Ivy's plants, but had taken a couple of tumbles while dodging them. He heads over to the address Duke gave him, to find the guy still floating there staring at the sky. He gets it, he does, he would float above the grime that coats Gotham rooftops if he could, but it's dangerous for a meta to be so unawares of his surroundings like this while obviously displaying his powers.

Danny, meanwhile, had clocked both of the vigilantes coming near him, but was really hoping that they would leave him alone. It had been a very long day for him. He'd finally managed to get to campus for his class, only to find that the place was covered in overgrown plants. He'd had to freeze a few to get into the building, and had then spent most of the afternoon in the library due to his class being cancelled. Unfortunately for him, his nearly finished assignment that he'd spent the day working on was eaten by one of the giant flowers on his way home. He'd been 'saved' by the stabby Robin, which had caused him to then also lose his laptop as they crashed to the rooftop a few streets over.

Thankfully, he had an amazing best friend in Tucker, who was doing his best to recover as much data as possible. On the downside, though, Tucker was mad at him for now having saved a backup of his files since they left Amity. He'd fled to the roof to escape his wrath, plans of bribes in the form of food running through his mind, when he'd caught sight of the Stars. Holy shit. It was so clear tonight!

He didn't even realise he'd begun to glow and float, too caught up in naming all of the stars and constellations he could see. His Obsession was feeling very satisfied tonight. Usually he had to invisibly fly above the cloud cover to see such a sight. Sure, the light pollution was still bad, but his mind was able to fill in the blanks across the sky.

The moment Jason landed on his roof, Danny heaved a great sigh. Damnit. The fun police were here. He wrenched his eyes from the sky, only to notice that - oh, shit - he was floating again. He fell to the roof with a light thump.

"Heeeyyy stranger, come here often?" Danny asked, as he rolled over to his side, propping his head up on his hand.

[noiriarti]

The Winner Takes it All: Anakin Skywalker x Reader (Enemies-to-Lovers Modern AU) | Chapter 6

NSFW! Minors DNI!!! Summary: The moment the thesis competition was announced, you knew your biggest threat. Anakin Skywalker, golden boy of the engineering department. He's the only other person smart enough to beat you, and the only other person insane enough to stay in the lab until midnight every night. He's also an asshole, but you're starting to think maybe he's not as bad as you thought he was... Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x Fem!Reader CW: a lot of jerking off WC: 8.4k AN: thank you all for your patience!! i started grad school so i got a bit busy, but now i will update about once a week! thank you all for the love :) also i am so sorry about all the angst

Ch. 1, Ch. 2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, Ch. 5, Ch. 6, Ch. 7

Chapter 6: Tearing

The afternoon sun filtered through his window shade and cast his room in its warm glow, but Anakin was too busy with his notes on his desk to notice. He needed something to do with his hands, just to keep himself focused, to keep his thoughts from wandering to you. To answer a practice problem, he was trying to find a specific case of heat diffusion the class had discussed--somewhere in October, he thought, but he wasn't quite sure. His desk was already messy before he began studying, but he was making it even worse with a paper thrown here, a staple there.

His eyes scanned the paper this way and that, trying to absorb any iota of information, but the words were slippery, wily things that wriggled out of his grasp. In the end, it turned out he had flipped past the page several times without seeing what he needed, and he finally found it on his fifth pass. Subconsciously, he dug his nails into his palms in frustration. Why couldn't he work? Why were you doing this to him?

His phone chimed, a text from his mom. Hey, how are finals? Doing okay?

For a few days, he'd been ducking questions about whether he was sleeping or eating enough, because he knew she'd be disappointed with his answers. He was running out of ways to change the subject in phone calls, and he knew she was catching on. Anakin decided he should probably respond.

yeah, really stressed about one of them, rest are fine. thesis going ok.

A second later, his phone lit up again.

Good luck. I'm so proud of you, Anakin, no matter what. As soon as he read it, he dropped his head into his hands. His forehead was clammy under his fingers. Of course she was proud of him unconditionally. He knew that. But he knew that he would be even prouder if he won. If he got a 4.0 this semester. Once, after he said something like that to Ahsoka, she looked at him with that knowing expression only she could produce, and asked him if his mom had ever said anything like that. Technically, no, he conceded, but he couldn't let her down.

He just felt so stupid right now, looking at the pages blanketing his desk. He'd been sitting over them for too long, but he couldn't bring himself to get up and stretch or take a break. He couldn't bring himself to do anything, really, let alone focus. So he was trapped. All he could do was just sit there, drink his Red Bull, and kind of review until he could destroy this exam next week.

Anakin decided to try another practice problem. Maybe that would make it click.

The surface tension of liquid argon is given by--

His phone buzzed against the desk. Putting it on loud was a bad idea, and he knew it. Maybe he was just looking for an excuse. It was probably his mom, saying something else. Or, he hoped as his heart jumped, maybe you were coming from the lab early and wanted to meet and study. Or hook up. Or just talk. Whatever, as long as it didn't involve his textbook. His phone buzzed again. And again.

He gave in and opened it. It was you, he found, and he grinned like a lunatic, but caught himself. Then again, he was alone, so it didn't matter, really.

But then he read your texts.

Where are you We need to talk Now

He typed back immediately, his fingers flying faster than he thought they could.

in my room is everything ok?

He looked at the screen, saw the bubbles pop up that meant you were typing, then watched as they disappeared. Anakin was frozen, his phone in his hand. We need to talk could just have been a poor phrasing on your part, right? It didn't mean what he thought it did, right? He could deny it only for about five more seconds, when the little bubbles didn't return.

Fuck. Anakin let loose a string of curses and dropped his phone on his desk. He couldn't think of a single thing that would warrant ending… whatever the two of you had. But maybe you'd realized that he was doing a lot more than what fuckbuddies (fuckenemies?) should do, that he was an absolute wreck for you, and had been for a long time.

The caffeine was getting to him, and his leg was bouncing so quickly that he swore his downstairs neighbor would submit a noise complaint. His mind started racing with all the things he never would have told you, the things that would go unsaid if you ended what the two of you were doing. He'd never tell you that he had two dogs growing up, strays, or that his least favorite flavor of Skittles was orange. He'd never tell you that he was pretty sure that he hadn't felt this way about anyone, ever, and that he had laid awake for the past two nights thinking about how, if at all, he would tell you.

Ahsoka's voice echoed in his ears, wisps of sound urging him to just say something. His mind was racing, a million trains of thought all colliding at once. He should just tell you. He'd never learn your favorite kind of cereal. He hadn't responded to his mom, fuck. He regretted having that Red Bull. He'd never tell you that he called you baby during sex because he wanted to say it other times, too. The answer to that thermo question was probably 36 Joules. He'd never tell you that if you called him a pet name he'd melt and let you win any competition because nothing would matter anymore.

But that was precisely why he hadn't told you how he felt. Because if you felt the same way about him, that would be so much better than any amount of money or award. And that wasn't the kind of person he could be.

He'd spent so long training to control that wild hurricane of emotions that pulled him through everyday life. Anakin channeled it into perfectly neat parallelized circuits and technically exquisite poomsae, but around you it all let loose, angry and passionate and just so much.

It was terrifying. You were terrifying. And there was a selfish part of him that said that he deserved to let all those feelings loose for once. To feel as much as he wanted to feel because, goddammit, he was so tired of control.

But Anakin was a lot. A handful, his teachers always said. It was what ended his previous relationship, what drove Padme away. Would it drive you away, too?

If you walked up to him in two minutes and asked him what the two of you were, if it was just casual or something more, would he have the self-control not to blurt out exactly what he was thinking? His stomach flipped at the idea of you leaving the room, leaving his life, without knowing how he felt.

You walking away from him and disappearing into another part of the country after graduation would kill him. He was pretty sure that seeing you at a reunion in five years with someone on your arm, some beautiful person who you had never hated, would smite him on the spot.

He imagined himself six months from now, when the thesis was over. What would that Anakin want for himself? Would he let himself say something? Fuck it all, he would say. And he was right.

If you were going to end things, he was going to get this off his chest. He had to. He wasn't sure he could live with himself if he didn't.

The sound of knuckles on wood cut through the silent room like a dagger through his heart. One, two, three seconds passed as he sat in his desk chair, mind totally blank. He tried to produce a coherent feeling or, if he was lucky, an entire thought, but he came up empty.

Before, it was all something nebulous, something he could just worry about. Something he could stress about. Now, it was real. You were behind that door, and you needed to talk. And there was no escaping that. With heavy legs, he dragged himself to the door.

Anakin pretended not to notice that his hand was shaking when he wrapped it around the doorknob.

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The bus ride back to your dorm had been uneventful, other than the way you were staring daggers into the skull of some poor guy in front of you. He had the good sense to not turn around.

Anakin Skywalker is a thief. You clenched your fists, and you could barely feel the sting of your nails in your palms. Barriss wasn't one to lie, based on the past three years you'd spent with her. She told you the facts right after: she overheard one of the graduate students--probably Obi-Wan, but she didn't know who, just some vaguely hot older guy, she said--telling Anakin his idea for a thesis. And then Anakin ran with it.

If she was right, that changed everything. If Anakin really didn't come up with his own idea, that meant he had rigged the competition. He had a leg up this whole time. He really was exactly what you had thought for years. The golden boy of the department who had everything handed to him. And while you'd labored over choosing the perfect, most viable but impressive idea, he had just skipped right over that step. You'd cried over how hard it was to find a good idea, struggled for weeks on end last year, just trying to make something good, let alone great. And he was already weeks ahead of you in the competition.

All of his sweet gestures--staying with you in bed, holding hands in the library, getting you drinks--were suddenly less sweet. Last year, he was in the thesis lab with you, when he was working on his proposal, watching you go through ideas and get upset when they didn't work, and he knew that. And he never told you about where his idea came from, even when you were getting closer. He probably knew it would piss you off, and he still didn't tell you. He'd hidden it from you.

You didn't know if that hurt more or less than the unfairness of his advantage.

The bus slowed to a stop in front of your dorm, and you hopped off, then dashed to the elevator.

You just wanted him to tell you that Barriss was crazy, or misheard. Or anything. Anything to make it not true.

The elevator ride was agony as it whizzed up to his floor.

At his door, you hesitated. If you entered and fought, that made this real. So, so real. The second you walked through that door, everything between the two of you might change.

But you were too furious not to knock. Silence hung for a few seconds before you could hear the door unlock.

Anakin opened it to you, looking unfairly hot. Rage ripped through you as he looked at you with open affection, gesturing to enter his room, like nothing had changed. Like he wasn't lying to you all this time. You stormed in quickly.

"Anakin, I need you to be honest with me." Your voice came out tighter than you wanted as you searched his face for a reaction. He closed the door, then came to stand in front of you.

"I'm always honest with you," Anakin replied earnestly, keeping his gaze locked on yours as he forced a small smile.

You didn't smile back. "How did you come up with the idea for your project?"

"What?" Anakin blinked, caught off guard. He let out a breathy chuckle. "That--that's what you wanted to talk about?"

"Well?" You pressed, crossing your arms. The edge in your voice was obvious, cutting. You could see Anakin go through the stages of realizing what you might mean, and your stomach started to sink even deeper.

Anakin sighed, ruffling his hair in frustration. "I--Really? Okay, fine. There aren't currently any microsurgery tools that mimic human hands. They're all pincers. So I wanted to make one." Your gaze narrowed.

"And you're saying Obi-Wan had nothing to do with it?"

"What are you talking about?" It was probably supposed to sound confused, but it came out more scared. You knew him well enough to tell. God, he was infuriating.

"Did you or did you not get your idea from Obi-Wan?" The words came out like tiny daggers, sharpened steel that you spat at him. His face fell, and you could see the moment that he knew you knew.

"Look, it's not like that," Anakin said, his arms falling to his sides. His eyes were suddenly avoiding yours, like his desk suddenly contained some information he desperately needed, or, preferably an escape hatch.

"Then what is it like?" You shot back, your heart racing. You stepped closer, trying to find an answer in his furrowed eyebrows. "Why can't you just say no?"

Anakin's jaw clenched, and he was obviously searching for the right words. Words that wouldn't piss you off, probably. "Because Obi-Wan helped, I guess."

"You guess?!" Your voice cracked, incredulous.

"I mean--look." Anakin raised his hands defensively. "Sure, Obi-Wan put me on the path to it. But every second in the lab since then has been me. My design, my coding."

"What do you mean put you on the path? You mean he gave you the idea, don't you?" Your frustration with him was boiling over. Even now, he was defending himself, trying to evade this. Justifying. It drove you crazy.

Anakin hesitated, his words faltering. "I--It's not--"

"Are you seriously about to say that it's not that simple or something?" You interrupted, your voice shaking. You threw your hands up, your fury finally reaching its peak. "Because, from here, it looks simple. Like you stole your whole fucking thesis idea!"

"That's not true!" Anakin snapped, his voice louder now. It wasn't the same kind of anger you were used to seeing from him, it was defensive, almost panicked. "Obi-Wan, he just, he suggested I look at applying an old project of mine to microsurgery. And he was right. So, I guess, technically, if you're looking at it like that--sure. He gave me the idea."

You stared at him, his words sinking in. His admission hung between you like a guillotine, its rope finally snapped. The air felt tight, like you were ten thousand miles above sea level and there wasn't enough oxygen to keep you afloat.

Anakin shifted again, his anger gone, his voice softer, pleading. "It's like… I don't know. I guess I feel guilty about it. But I really needed to submit something that day, or I couldn't enter into the competition at all. It was the rules. If I don't do a thesis… I--I don't know. I just had to. And I figured I'd just use that temporarily, and pivot as soon as it was approved, It was in the end of junior spring, and I just couldn't find a topic that worked. That idea I had about hand prosthetics didn't pan out, and I was telling Obi-Wan about it in the lab, and he told me I should look at microsurgery, 'cause they have a lot of the same issues--calibrating movement to user input, holding up to wear and tear, dealing with friction and joint movement--and that I should do my thesis on it."

His eyes finally met yours again, so deep and blue that it almost made you reconsider. Almost. He was pleading, begging you to understand. "So, yeah, I submitted an early version of the idea Obi-Wan gave me. But every second of design, build, everything was me. It's my work."

You stood frozen, silent. After a few long beats, Anakin started to fidget, his hands wringing so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"If I could go back, I'd do something else. Anything else." Anakin's voice wavered, and his shoulders slumped under the weight of his guilt. "I just--I didn't know what else to do. I needed to submit something, anything. I need to win this," he finished, his voice trailing off.

The anguish over being proven right was something you didn't expect. You should have felt vindicated, that you were actually right all along about him. You should have hated him. But instead, you could feel your heart breaking, like a marionette with its strings cut, slumped over and lifeless. If he had just admitted it to you himself, maybe you could get over this. Maybe. But the fact that he hid it from you cut like a knife. Tears welled in your eyes, and your throat was drier than you'd ever felt it. The words fell from your lips softly, like you could barely get them out.

"How could you?" You felt like you'd never known him, like the person in front of you was a stranger. How could he be both this person, and the one who would keep you warm at night?

Anakin noticed the coldness of your gaze, and it gutted him. Anakin's breath caught, and you could see him shatter in real time. His cheek twitched, right under his scar, and you could swear you saw his eyes start to fill with tears. His hands were shaking where they were clasped together, and you were sure he was leaving indents with his nails. His shoulders shook under his panicked breaths.

He didn't speak for several long seconds, his mouth tugging this way and that as he tried to think of something, anything, to say.

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" He asked as he stepped toward you, trying to seek reassurance to keep him from falling apart. But you couldn't give it. You didn't even know him anymore.

"I--" you opened your mouth, hesitating, before you restarted, "I don't know." Your voice cracked, but you hardened it. "I didn't before, but now I'm not so sure."

Anakin took another step closer, reaching out with his shaking hands as if to touch you, but you backed away. His face flushed even more, hurt and frustration jumping across his features. It made you even more angry. "This is so fucking unfair, and you just--you just let it happen."

He said your name, trying to jump in, but your anger surged, and it drowned him out.

"I spent weeks getting my idea just right." Each words was more brutal than the last. "Weeks. And you got everything spoon-fed to you. Everything I worked for--and you just took it from someone."

Anakin flinched like you had struck him, but you were far from done.

"I thought I knew you, I thought I was wrong about you this whole time," you spat, your fists clenching at your sides, "But I was right all along. You're just a fucking cheater."

A tear slipped down the side of his cheek as you continued. Your voice shook as you admitted to him, and to yourself, what the worst part really was. "And you didn't even have the decency to tell me. And that makes you a fucking asshole."

He shook his head, his eyes stinging as he started to speak. "No, please, it's not--"

"Stop it!" You shouted, your voice cracking with emotion. Anakin stood frozen, his outstretched hand falling limply to his side. Your breath rushed through your nose and your pulse beat in your ears. You couldn't even see him anymore through the tears, but you refused to let them fall. To let him see you cry.

He said your name one more time, begging, pleading. For a moment, you were tempted, but the hurt was too big to ignore.

Your voice was cold, distant. "Get away from me," you ordered. Your back was rigid with anger and hurt. "And leave me the fuck alone."

Without waiting for him to respond, you stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind you.

You stalked down the hall as quickly as you could, ignoring the buzzing in your pocket as the tears you were holding back finally poured down your cheeks. You didn't even have the energy to wipe them away, you just let them fall while you punched the button for the elevator.

Only when the door closed, and you pulled out your phone to call Ahsoka, did you see his messages.

please come back we can talk this out please give me another chance

They were all sent minutes apart. You could hear his voice reading them, desperate and thick with tears. Even though you were angry, angrier than you had ever been at him, the idea of him crying still made your chest ache. And then it made you feel vindicated. But then it made you feel horrible again.

You arrived back to the lobby, then crossed the building to the other elevator bank, trying to avoid the awkward gazes the students passing by gave you. You sniffled wetly, wiping away your tears, as you ran up the two flights of steps that brought you to your room. You unlocked the door as quickly as you could, then hid inside.

Your phone buzzed again.

i understand that you don't want to talk, but the second you're ready, i'll be here. i'll always be here.

The words made you sob loudly, and you were thankful for a moment that Ahsoka wasn't home. Until you saw the text, it hadn't hit you that this was the last time you'd talk for a while. You couldn't even remember the last kiss you two had shared. The library? Was that the kiss you wanted this to end on? You'd never see his half-lidded eyes as he worshipped you, never hear him call you baby again.

Why did he have to go and fuck it all up? You asked yourself, sobs wracking your body as you slid down the door. You couldn't tell if you were more sad or angry, but you were definitely heartbroken. Lately, his casual touches, his affection, the way you slept together every night, it was starting to feel like more. But it was all gone now.

You had been numbed with caffeine and stress, but the past week, you felt like you were soaring every time he touched you. Every time he gave you that intense look he always did.

But the two of you were just hooking up. It wasn't supposed to be anything more, and you never thought you'd feel the pull to be with him when you weren't fucking, but it was like gravity. Even now, you wanted him to comfort you. Not someone, but him.

The realization that you had feelings for him hit you like a truck. All the breath was gone from your lungs, gone to some other dimension.

You liked Anakin Skywalker. Even though he was an asshole. Even though he'd hurt you. But those feelings didn't end just because whatever you were had ended, they didn't leave you alone.

You could have been his girlfriend if he hadn't hidden this from you. And that was the last nail in the coffin that made you break down fully.

You sat there, crying, sobbing, wailing, for at least another half hour before you dragged yourself to the shower. It made you feel the tiniest bit better to have your hair clean, your tears scrubbed off your face until the skin went sensitive and ruddy. When the water turned off, it was cold, and you relished the shock to your system.

And then, you started the process of getting over him. You knew you had to do it eventually, and you only had to get through finals before you could go home and forget all about him. Come January, when you next saw him in the lab, it'd be like seeing any other classmate.

That thought was enough to make you start crying again while you stood in the towel you stole from your house. Your tears mingled with the water from the shower, and it was enough to let you pretend that you weren't crying, that becoming strangers with Anakin didn't kill you inside.

You promised yourself that this would be the last time you cried this semester. That night, if you felt the threat of tears, you just threw yourself harder into whatever you were studying. There was nothing else you could do.

At the thermo exam two days later, you walked in later than you usually would for a final that was this important. When you slipped into the class, two minutes before they started passing out test papers, you spotted Anakin in the corner. Because of course you did. Your eyes hadn't stopped finding him in every photo, in every room. He had always been magnetic, and, just because you weren't together anymore didn't mean that stopped. And he was looking right at you.

His gaze ripped through you with some mix of desperation, affection, and sorrow. Anakin looked, in one word, horrible. His eyes were sunken in, red and swollen from crying. Most people would not have noticed, but you knew him too well. His dark circles had come back with a vengeance, like fresh bruises on his otherwise smooth and clear skin. His mouth twitched when he looked at you, like he was going to say something, but he stayed silent as his eyes followed your path.

Throughout the exam, you could feel his eyes on you a couple of times, but you didn't allow yourself to turn around and look. You let the calm of equations and math wash over you, and soon there was nothing but the test. The questions and the precise way you wrote Greek letters in the blue book lulled you into a state of calm you desperately needed.

When you handed in your exam, you allowed yourself another look at Anakin, and then you left the building. You didn't see him before you went on break two days later.

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Two days before break, he saw you again. He hadn't changed his habits, still studied in the dining hall and had meals there, sometimes went to the library, and he secretly hoped, thrummed with anticipation, that maybe, just maybe, you'd be there too. That maybe you'd see him and realize you wanted to talk it out. That, obviously, did not happen. He spent an embarrassing amount of time awake, because you haunted his dreams whenever they came. The disgusted look on your face and the words I was right all along, you're a fucking asshole echoed in the back of his eyelids and his mind's eye whenever he laid down. So, he stayed up. More time to study, right?

He spent most of those 48 hours trying not to cry and failing miserably. Even when he broke up with Padme, it wasn't like this. He was angry, indignant, and, of course, sad, but it was the kind of sadness that settled deep on his shoulders and dulled the world around him. It wasn't the kind of sadness that wrenched sobs from his chest whenever he wasn't careful. It wasn't the kind of sadness that made him regret ever going to this college, ever meeting you.

Ahsoka cast him a funny look at him one night, when he fell asleep in a common room. She gently shook him awake, and noticed the redness rimming his eyes, and the way his hands shook from too much caffeine. She gave him a hug and made him promise to sleep tonight.

He did, and that was the night before the test. Every muscle and joint screamed in protest as he dragged himself from his bed. He arrived fifteen minutes early, just to make sure he got a good seat, and then his head kept swiveling like an owl. Every time the click of the doors opening echoed through the nearly empty lecture hall, he locked onto the person entering. He was pretty sure he'd accidentally given glares to at least four poor souls before you finally entered.

He resigned himself to the fact that he'd probably failed the exam right then.

You were even prettier than he remembered, and the depth of your eyes when you stared at him was enough to make him shudder. Even now, he'd give anything to be with you again. When you sat down and didn't look at him again for the next three hours, he felt bits of his heart break off and get trampled under equations about heat diffusion and air pressure. You turned in your test, and then left, and he looked after you longingly. His eyes snapped back to his paper when he got a weird look from the TA.

He turned in his exam paper, rushed home, and promptly passed out on his bed. You came to him in his dreams, of course. Naked in his arms, lips pliant and wanting under him. The way your tongue peeked out when you were too hard at work, or the shimmer of your eyes when he made you laugh. The betrayal on your face. Get away from me.

He spent the rest of finals in a fugue state, doing tasks and exams because he was supposed to. Then, finally, the last one passed, and he was finally released to go home. He hadn't seen you since the exam, and that was probably better for him, he reasoned.

On day 1 of break, Anakin drove the whole day and listened to absolutely depressing music the whole time. He pulled over once and, in a fit of rage, smacked the steering wheel a few times. How could he be so stupid? How was he this much of an idiot? He sat at the rest stop for another fifteen minutes, his sweaty forehead on the steering wheel. Five hours later, when he arrived home late in the evening, he hugged his mom. Everything felt a little bit better after that. He had dinner with Shmi and Cliegg, even though all he wanted to do was lay in bed and sulk. He fell asleep quickly--he was too exhausted to stay up torturing himself with what could have been.

On day 2 of break, he lay in bed and just generally moped around. He could never be still for long, so that meant getting up to eat snacks, flicking through TV shows listlessly, and trying not to look at the texts you two had exchanged. He only cried twice, once at the thought that you'd never meet his mom, and the other at the memory of your body in his arms as he fell asleep. Both reduced him to hot, silent tears.

On day 3 of break, he did yard work and drove by his old dojang to say hi to his high school coach. He ended up agreeing to teach some lessons over break to avoid having to sit at home alone with his thoughts for three entire weeks. Plus, the money was good. He was pretty sure he wouldn't be getting that thesis prize at all, at this rate. He only cried once, at night, when he thought about having to watch you work in the thesis lab without speaking to you. He wouldn't cross that boundary. You already knew he wanted to talk, and you hadn't texted him back.

On days 4-9, he taught three hours of lessons a day. It was calming, familiar. He only had to splash cold water in his face to avoid getting too upset two or three times per day, but the undercurrent of wondering what you were doing never stopped torturing him. He hadn't touched himself in at least two weeks, and he regularly had to stop his thoughts from drifting away to the last time he was inside you. Every time it happened at home, in bed, he got up and took a cold shower. It served him right. At the end of the week, he went to the mall and bought his mom a Christmas present with the money he earned. Just because he knew his mom wanted to blend their family better, he picked out something small he could afford for Cliegg, Owen, and Beru, too.

On day 10, it was Christmas Eve, so everything was closed. There was nothing to do, so he answered a few emails from Professor Jinn, cleaned the oven, and helped his mom prepare for Christmas dinner. There were files on his device he had prepared specifically to work on his thesis over break, but his project made him nauseous. He'd give it all back for a chance to start over. He'd get a B on his thesis if it would make this pain stop. He didn't touch the files, and, that night, when he finally gave in to the temptation to see if you'd posted anything on social media, he didn't touch his cock, either, even though just an image of you was enough to drive him wild at that point.

On day 11, it was Christmas, and he woke up at 4am in his bed, as hard as a rock. Anakin spent an hour tossing and turning and begging his body to just let him sleep, but, eventually he gave in. It was Christmas, right? He deserved a present. When he closed his eyes, he didn't even try to think of someone else. It was you. It had been for a while. Your little noises as he kissed up your neck, the scrunch of your eyebrows right as you came, and the tight grip of your pussy around him when he buried himself to the hilt inside you were enough to make him cum all over his hand within a minute. He found it embarrassing, honestly, that you had this effect on him. Anakin fell asleep quickly and tried not to feel too gross about what he'd done.

On day 11, attempt 2, he woke up around 11, right before lunch, and came down to wish his mother and Cliegg a merry Christmas. Beru and Owen were supposed to come for dinner, but, this morning, it was just the three of them. Anakin had no particular yearning for Cliegg to be a father figure, he just wanted his mom to be happy. If Cliegg did that, then he'd watch endless movies with the two of them, or get Cliegg a present. But if she didn't want to be with him anymore, Anakin wasn't sure he'd miss him. Their second anniversary was in three weeks, and it was a shock that it had been that much time already. When dinner rolled around, and he greeted Owen and Beru awkwardly, not sure what a person is supposed to say to a newly-acquired sibling. He'd seen them a sum total of maybe ten times, almost all of which had to do with the wedding, so they were in how-was-school and how's-the-new-job and gosh-the-winter-has-been-brutal territory. When Anakin gave them their presents, they seemed overjoyed. He'd gotten them matching scarves, each with their first initial embroidered onto it. It was a miracle they had them in stock at the mall, he thought, but the present seemed to hit the right spot. Cliegg got the aforementioned fishing pole, something his mom had told him he was prattling on about, and he got his mom a beautiful new winter coat. She had been mending hers for years, and water and snow would soak right through it, but when he saw the beautiful down puffer coat in the store window, he knew she'd love it. He was right.

Cliegg got him a Laser Distance Measure, which must have cost a pretty penny, and Owen and Beru got him various engineering gadgets (a nice mechanical pencil for technical drawings and a cable carrying case, respectively). His mother's gift, though, was something he'd never be able to forgive. She had bought him a beautiful, fresh Raspberry Pi set, with 8 GB of RAM. It wasn't the most expensive thing in the world, but the $150 or $200 that it did cost her was enough to make him tear up. He'd mentioned months ago that he was thinking of getting one for some personal projects, something for his portfolio, and she bought it. He had the good sense not to say anything like You aren't supposed to get me presents for Christmas and crushed her in a hug, the kind that whispered I know how much this is worth, and I'm so lucky you're my mom. For a second, he was worried he would cry when he saw the crow's feet appear by her eyes, and he felt how thin the skin on her hands had gotten. When had she gotten so much older? For a terrifying moment, he realized he'd have to live without her one day, but then Cliegg made some comment about how he'd made hot cocoa, and they all gathered around the living room to chat. As the last tendrils of sunlight fell beneath the swath of trees in their backyard, he laughed at something Owen had said, and he felt the tiniest bit less alone. Like maybe it didn't matter if he got an A in thermo or had the best thesis in his year. The notion left him quickly.

On days 12-17, the warm feeling had subsided, and all he could think about was what you were doing. Whether you were moving on, or if you still felt the same way he did. If you wanted him again. The fantasy of you seeing him again and realizing that, oh, actually, you wanted to work it out, and also kiss him, inevitably ended with his hand on his cock and cum on his stomach, then regret and shame for about an hour afterward. Once the studio had reopened, he kept teaching there, but with more hours this time. Also, Anakin could finally open the folder on his computer named Thesis without cringing at it, but barely. His heart still skipped about four beats when he thought about how he'd have to see you practically every day. He pushed thoughts like that from his mind as much as he could. No point in torturing himself more than the actual semester would.

Day 18 was New Year's Eve. He went to a party hosted by some of his high school friends, some rager at a frat house. He just wanted to get drunk, honestly, and this seemed like a great excuse. It was sticky and hot even right outside the door, but the sweaty blast of steam that hit him when someone opened it turned his stomach. But the beer was free, so he wouldn't complain too much. A couple of times, he noticed a girl checking him out over the bone-shaking bass. He might have made a move, if he were a different person. If any one of them was you, or had your smile, or your eyes. As soon as he noticed something that was too different from you, he averted his gaze. They were all cute, he supposed, but that didn't matter. They weren't you. When the countdown started, Anakin retreated, not interested in being pulled into some kiss that stunk of beer. Instead, despite knowing he'd regret it, he sent you a text. happy new year, it read. He blamed the tequila, and went back into the fray of cheering people.

From days 19-24, Anakin kept on keeping. Dishes, teaching, occasional progress on his thesis. He submitted over 20 job applications. Sometime in the week, in his daily rehashing of all your messages, he noticed the read receipt had popped up on his text from New Year's Eve, and he cursed himself. He was cursing himself a lot lately. Especially when he promised he wouldn't jerk off over you, but it always ended up happening. The subtle rock of his hips against the mattress when he thought of you, grinding the hard flesh against the soft material, then the sticky warmth of release and the rush of regret that always came with it. The heat of the shower made him hard when he thought about how he'd always wanted to try fucking in the shower, more specifically, fucking you in the shower. He really shouldn't, he reasoned while his hand pumped his dick.

Day 25 was spent driving again, after he gave his mom a big hug and threw his suitcase in the car. Despite himself, he realized that he was no more over you than he had been on his drive to his house. The fact that he would see you tomorrow still made him perk up and wilt at the same time. In a short twenty-four hours, you'd be real, three-dimensional in front of him again. He wasn't sure what would happen--would you kiss him? Slap him? Combust? He could never tell with you. He wondered if you'd cut your hair over break, or if you'd talked to Ahsoka about him. Whatever fantasies he'd been nursing, they were all going to be proven or disproven tomorrow. So he had to use the hour before he arrived on campus to imagine, as hard as he could, that you were in the passenger seat. That you were his girlfriend. That you had just come from meeting his mom, who had shown you a bunch of truly humiliating baby pictures and had whispered to him that she liked you when you had gone to the bathroom. For the rest of the night, that was the reality he lived in.

You had compared schedules last semester, before things got weird, and you shared only two classes, both of which were on Mondays and Wednesdays. At 10:30, you'd both be in Unsupervised Learning, then at 2:30, you'd both take Dynamic Systems and Controls. When he woke up at 8:30, he showered, then tried to wipe the tiredness from his eyes. He put on a shirt he knew you loved (you'd remarked on how well it fit him, and he didn't see it, but you did, and that was all that mattered) and his most comfortable jeans and hoodie. He secretly hoped you were doing the same kind of preening at home, trying to look good for him, but he didn't let the thought take up too much room in his mind.

At 10:25, when he walked into the lecture hall, he saw you instantly. Time stopped as he felt like someone had just gotten a particularly good hit to his solar plexus, and his whole body was responding, out of breath and weak and dizzy all at the same time. You were in the third row, to the left-hand side of the seats, and you looked more gorgeous than he remembered. How didn't he spend the whole break fantasizing about the way your hair shone or the curve of your neck? Seconds started ticking by again when he realized he was blocking the path to the seats, much to the anger of the group of people behind him. He walked down the steps to the second row like everything was normal, then positioned himself on the other side of the lecture hall. He kept his eyes firmly not trained on you for as long as he could, and, when the professor started droning, he turned to look at you, really look at you.

You had put on just a touch of makeup, something he'd noticed years ago that you always did on the first day of class. It suited you, and you looked well-rested and happy. Like you didn't miss him at all. It gutted him like a fish on the chopping block. What was wrong with him? How could he let you get away?

He turned back to the professor, pretending to be interested in the syllabus. When class ended, by the time he packed up his things, you had gone.

The second class was a repeat of the first, only in a smaller lecture hall. He tried to keep his cool, he really did, but he snuck glances. He was only human.

He didn't go into the lab for the week, mainly because he was almost done with build and was spending most of his time on securing materials for testing. They had their first practice that Monday, so he got dressed and headed over to the Athletic Center, where he grounded himself in the ritual, the calming power of it all. It was amazing to see Rex and Ahsoka again. They always made him smile, something he'd been missing over the break.

Later that week, Ahsoka invited him to your room to talk about that semester's competitions. He hesitated the appropriate amount of time before he accepted. The hallway to your room was achingly familiar, just like he'd seen it in his dreams. Only Ahsoka was home, so she wasted no time before interrogating him about what happened with the two of you.

When he told her the general gist, she had the good decency to be honest and tell him that he was kind of being an asshole by not mentioning it, but that it was normal to get advice from professors and other students. It wasn't ideal for it to be as explicitly grabbed, sure, but the point still stood.

By the time the door opened and you came in (his mind raced--from a date? from class? from some other part of your life that he would never come to know?), Anakin and Ahsoka were discussing taekwondo logistics. You looked gorgeous in the cozy cable-knit sweater you had on, and he hoped against all hope that he wasn't staring the way he thought he was.

You looked shocked for a good second before smiling awkwardly with a little "hey." You retreated to your room almost instantly, and Anakin felt a pit open up, wondering if he'd made you uncomfortable. It wasn't his fault, honestly, but he still felt guilty. He left an hour afterward.

Was this his fate? To watch you from a middle distance as you lived your life? He was trapped, pinned down like a bug, reading into everything he saw. If you were in a four-block radius, his eyes would find you. They always would. In class, he had to stop himself from turning toward you, from studying your features and trying to read anything from them. He never could.

Anakin was still fucking haunted by you, especially now that he was on campus. Everything reminded him of you. The boba place, every inch of your dorm, the emptiness in his mattress. He knew he was hallucinating when he thought he spied you at practice one day, just a wisp of hair in the corner of the room, but, by the time he did a double take, there was only empty floor there.

On Thursday, he got a text from Ahsoka.

Party tomorrow at Cody's. You should come, she had written. He didn't really, actually feel like partying. But he went anyway. Maybe he could spend enough time with his friends to forget about you.

He threw on a nice shirt, some kind of button-up his mom had gotten him, cuffed the sleeves, and set off.

It was a standard-issue party. He'd been to plenty of them, so he figured was ready and prepared for what he'd see and feel. Bass in his eardrums so loud it shook the blood in his veins. Having to scream basic conversation over music. Cheap beer and a sticky floor. Enough heat that his hair would start curling more.

It felt like home. He entered, found Cody and Ahsoka quickly, promising to return after he grabbed a drink. Anakin made his way to the folding table crammed full of bottles, as well as some kind of vile jungle juice, and took two shots. Just enough to stop thinking about you, he hoped.

By the time he fought his way back to Cody and Ahsoka, he was feeling it. Rex had joined them in the meantime, and Anakin joined the little huddle. They were talking (read: yelling "what did you say?" over the music) about one of Cody's dates that week, and Anakin let himself slip into the familiar rhythm of his friends. It was nice, honestly. He only thought of you five or six times, which was a record low.

Then Ahsoka suggested they go get another drink, and, as the four of them pushed back toward the drinks station, he saw you.

You were fucking radiant, and the breath stalled in his chest. You had always been the only thing he ever wanted to look at in a room, even from sophomore year, when you began to piss him off more than anything, but right now, you were a supernova. And he was a moth. He felt his wings get burned off as he traced the curve of your jaw and acknowledged to himself that, yeah, he probably wasn't going to get over you until you were across state lines.

You were wearing some sinfully short, tight dress, which crept higher and higher up your thighs. He could tell you weren't wearing a bra, and something stirred inside of him.

But then he saw the guy standing next to you, leaning in to tell something to your ear. Anakin hated himself for the thought, but he instantly started comparing himself to the guy. What was Mr. Boat Shoes saying to you that made you tip your head back and laugh like that? He remembered when he used to do that, when he would make you throw your head back to do more than just laugh.

Anakin felt his jaw clench and his body start to shake with the same energy that he always had before competitions, coiled like a snake about to strike.

He knew it was a bad idea, he really did. But he was never one to resist bad ideas. He blamed the alcohol. It wasn't that you were his, or some misguided attempt at owning you, but he just couldn't watch this. He couldn't let this feeling tear him apart anymore. When you swatted the guy's chest playfully, Anakin felt his eye twitch, right under his scar. Oh hell no. But he shouldn't. It was your business.

Fuck it.

Anakin started pushing through the crowd, and then he saw the guy lean in, and he saw red.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Tag list (lmk if you'd like to be added!):

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[brrrkdslek]

BLING BLING～

🂱 moments of ateez' 9th member, m/n, atinys specifically adore!

🂱 ateez x gn! 9th member! reader

🂱 wrote this at 1am LMFAOO

clip 1 ― m/n before stage!!!

"heyyy, i'm getting ready to go onstage~" you set your phone down and step backwards for a few steps before doing a little twirl in your black suit, as if it was a skirt. "what event are you doing?" you read out a question, "ah, i was actually picked to be a pianist for the orchestra. it's gonna be my turn soon so i need to practice the piece."

you pull out your laptop and began to play robeats on it, confusing the atinys. "yes, i am practicing right now." you turn your laptop to show them your screen, "it's flight of the bumblebee, so i'm technically practicing!" atinys booed in your comments as you bursh out laughing, "alright, fine! i'll be fine anyways!"

clip 2 ― san gets scolded by m/n noona

"okay so i am working on the designs for the new comeback and i'm so excited to show you guys soon!" you squealed in delight as san tried to open the plastic box, blinking at it when it didn't budge.

"also the colours are- san, move the drinks or you'll knock them down." he groaned while trying to pry the box open, almost pulling a muscle. "i'm hungry san, what's taking so long?" you rest your cheek on your hand as you scroll on your phone.

"san for the last time, move the drinks or they'll-" as if on cue, san successfully pries the box open. the consequence was that the dumplings inside flew out at how violently he pried it, along with the two cans of drinks that spilled on the ground, staining the carpet in the process.

you toss your phone onto the table and rubbed your temple in frustration. "hyung-" "come here." san immediately turn around and stuck his ass in your direction, the comments coming in twice as fast as it did. you smacked his ass harshly, "i told you to move the drinks, didn't i?"

"sorry..." he mumbled sadly, "i know, but now we'll starve until tomorrow afternoon." you laid back against the chair and cried internally, san sitting back down and leaning onto you your shoulder.

clip 3 ― burning hot noona

you washed the dishes with your phone propped above the sink, chatting with the atinys. "ah, yes. i did contribute in the costuming for guerrilla and halazia, it was really challenging as..."

atinys watched wooyoung walk into the kitchen and grab a coke from the fridge before wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your cheek, pulling away with a loud 'chuu'. atinys squealed at the adorable interaction in the comments.

"yah, i'm older than you woo." you smiled despite your playful tone, "aw, that's right. m/n noona!" the two giggled before wooyoung reached to wash his hands in the sink, screaming loudly when the water hit his hands.

"AHH, WHY IS IT SO HOT!?" wooyoung cried as he gripped and blew air onto his reddening hand. jongho could be heard snickering in the background, "don't you know our noona uses boiling hot water to wash dishes?" you frowned, "yeah, cause it washes the oil off easily."

you turn the water off and grab a few ice cubes from the freezer, placing them into wooyoung's hands and kissing his cheek. "aww, sorry jagi..." he licked your cheek before dashing into the living room , "YAH JUNG WOOYOUNG!"

clip 4 ― message to my lovely members! <3

you sat idly in the hotel room as you watched the number of viewers rise up, recognising seonghwa's disguise account. a notification popped up as you read it, 'minki pinki: we are watching ur live from hyung's phone, miss u!'

you smiled, "hey, my atinys! did you guys miss me? i missed you so much!" you hug your plush tightly against your chest as you read all the nice and loving comments from your fans.

"i also hope my members are doing fine without me!" you fixed some things on your desk before reading out some comments, "you must be worried since you're the big sister of the group," you giggled, "when will you guys stop making me the big sister? at least, make me a man again!"

"well, i think i am worried. i mean i miss them so much, and i hate to admit but it's really lonely without them here. yeah, filming is fun and all but it'd be way more fun if i had my members with me right now."

"also, i left some homemade slushies in the fridge for my dear members! please have some, i know you guys are working hard!" a notification sounds from your phone, 'staff: scene 29 in three hours so you should get ready.' you sighed, "well, i gotta go now. love you!"

©BRRRKDSLEK 2023

[butt3rnugg3t]

Tell Me A Tale

Authors Note: Plz be nice!! First thing I've written and posted in like 4 years, I'm rusty! I fear there's a lot of dialogue. I'm thinking of making this with multiple parts but for now this is it.

OH! And this isn't set in Hawkins. So, this is an AU where Eddie is just a hot tatted dude. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. 👍

Word Count 702 (Unedited)

The bell dings, echoing through the small shop on the corner of 5th and Main. Floor to ceiling bookshelves wrap themselves around the store, dust settled in on a few shelves. The door said open, but the vacant counter to the right of the door was unoccupied. Maybe Eddie had read the sign wrong, but he was about 90 percent sure the sign said open.

“Hello?” His voice seemed to echo around the space for a moment before a loud clattering sounded from the back room. 

“Be with you in a moment!” drifted back to him, followed by another series of clashes and finally a few curses. That caused Eddie to smile softly to himself. Another few minutes passed by before he finally saw a pair of legs appear out of the back room, just legs because the rest of her was hidden behind a large stack of books, stacked haphazardly in her arms. “Sorry about making you wait, it's technically my first day working the store by myself and as you can probably tell I've got my work cut out for me."

“I can see, I thought this store had been here for the past 20 or so years though." Thats what Steve had told him when he brought up needing a new copy of 'The Hobbit'.

Eddie grimaced as the store owner tripped on a loose bit of the carpet and almost dropped everything before quickly correcting herself. Taking a deep breath she finally deposited them at the counter before turning to take Eddie in. And Eddie in turn was finally getting all of her as well. She was just as frumpled as he thought she would be, it made him smile.

Denim overalls layered on top of a plain black t-shirt, bright red converse on each foot. Mismatched socks along with her hair looking like it was about to fall out of the messy braid it was forced into. Skin slightly damp from the sticky summer heat that had taken over the city during this hot July afternoon. She looked adorably...tired. Like she had been running on zero sleep and 3 cups of coffee. He felt bad for just realizing it, even though he had just stepped into her store for the first time.

"Yeah, once again, sorry about the mess," She stepped around the counter truly taking the mantel of 'bookseller'. "Um yeah, I just took over from my grandmother." The pause between her words seemed forced, necessary for her to calm down. He felt a stone fall into his stomach, waiting for the next words to fall from her lips. "she's not doing too great recently but," she paused once again, regaining her composure. "Sorry, I'm sure you didn't come in to hear about my life, how can I help you?"

To her credit, Eddie was sure he'd be a blubbering mess if he had to go on and act like everything was fine if (heaven forbid) anything were to happen to Wayne. He certainly wasn't going to hold her small word vomit against her. He also wouldn't mind hearing all about her life if he were to give him the chance.

"All good, I'm actually looking for a copy of 'The Hobbit'," He stepped over to stand across from her, the counter between them. "My last copy is covered in strawberry ice cream" (read: Dustin made a mess)

"Ah, unfortunately were out of our copies. But if you're willing to wait I can order one for you on my next shipment?" Eddie was convinced this girl could talk him into anything. Even if he was in a hurry to own the book again. (He wasn't)

"Yeah, It's absolutely no rush. What do you need for that?" He watched her pull out a receipt pad, jotting down the book title and price in swirly handwritten letters.

"Just a name and good number to contact you at? For when the book comes in," She was quick with the second sentence. But regardless, Eddie was completely content leaving his personal information in her capable hands. And within minutes the book was paid for, and he was set.

All he had to do now was wait for her call.

[colby-jac-cheese]

DO YOU SEE THIS CAT?!

I WAS WARNED ABOUT THIS CAT WHEN I MOVED IN WITH MY SIBLINGS 3 YEARS AGO! SHE IS F A T

SHE WAS NOT ALWAYS FAT!

According to my sister, when she and 2 of our other siblings first started college, she was still skinny! But! They moved from our dad's house, to an apartment! So she could no longer be an outside cat!

On top of that! All three of my siblings had VERY different schedules! One worked morning shift, so they were awake early morning and went to bed early evening! One was a full time college student! So they had afternoon classes, and woke up around 9 or 10 am to walk to class! Awake late morning to late evening but not obserdly late. The LAST!!! WORKED NIGHT SHIFT!!! they woke up mid-afternoon ish, and went to bed super early technically morning!

Which means!!! There were several hours when people came home/woke up where everyone else was unavailable!

Do you see where this is going???

THIS FAT FUCKING CAT WOULD PLAY UP 'woe is me. . . No one has feed me ever . . . I'm so hungry. . . .' EVERY FEW HOURS!!! WHEN ONLY ONE PERSON AT A TIME WAS AROUND!!! MEANING THIS ONE LAZY INDOOR CAT WAS BEING FED ALMOST 6 TIMES A DAY!!! And then one day they all looked at her and she was like this!

Cut to me moving in

I was warned of this! Three years ago!!! They told me 'hey! Fatass is very smart! She will gaslight you into thinking she's starving. Don't believe her!'

I thought, foolishly, 'that's fine! I'm smart! I've owned 4 Cats myself! Surely I'll be fine!'

W R O N G.

For several days, without fail, every other month! She manages to bamboozle me into feeding her!

The latest plot was uncovered today, and it is BY FAR her most insidious!

Imagine with me, if you will!

Be me: the baby of the house! Youngest sibling currently living under this roof! My operating hours are roughly 5 pm, to 6 am. Fat cat knows that she gets fed TWO. TIMES. every day! Once in the morning, and once at night!

Fat cat KNOWS she gets fed sometime after the sun comes up, but she doesn't know WHEN! She also knows that when she's hungry and ready to eat, she can go and ask for food! By. Meowing.

But she has never, IN THE 3 YEARS IVE LIVED HERE, come to ME to ask for food. Now don't get me wrong! I feed her! I am, in fact, primary cat feeder if the house! Because as the youngest it is my duty to get up and do whatever small task my siblings don't wanna do. (bring/guard cigs, feed cats, fill water bottle ect ect)

and she KNOWS I'm the feeder! Because the second she asks her parents to be fed, and they call my name, she RUNS to stare at me as I stand and start making my way to the cat food. So she is AWARE! THIS THIS IS MY JOB!

But I am not her parent. I am the interloper, the food slave, the one who doesn't pay rent and therefor gets no rights. So. She doesn't come tell me when she's hungry.

Now! Camera pan over to cats father!

my brother: the second eldest. He is very annoyed with me some mornings. Because every now and then, I stretch my waking hours to about 10 or 11 am, aka the time he wakes up for class and the few hours after the time that fat cat is SUPPOSED to be fed.

During the night, I keep my headphones on! This is me being considerate of the other people in the house. So none of my siblings wake to to the sound of my spooky ghost hunting videos or silly minecraft smps!

But this also means!!! I don't hear when the cat goes and meows in my brother's face at 8 or 9 am! Demanding to be fed! Screaming 'awaken father! I am withering away, and the sun is up! Feed me or face my wrath!' Two inches away from his face. So my brother, every now and then, wakes up and gets angry that I "let the cat" wake him up when I was already awake.

SO!

ME! BEING THE GOOD CONSIDERATE SIBLING I AM! I START LISTENING OUT FOR WHEN THE CATS START SCREAMING SO I CAN FEED THEM BEFORE THEY WAKE MY BROTHER UP!

And she recognized what I was doing. Immediately.

So. The next time she sees I'm awake . . . She goes to my brother room. And starts meowing. . . At 6 am. Technically sunrise, which is when she's 'supposed to be' fed. . . Almost 2 or 3 hours earlier than she's meant to.

I then. . . MOST OF THE TIME. . . Go to sleep. . . After I feed her. . . BECAUSE I GO TO BED AT 6 AM! And then. . . AT 8 OR 9 AM. . . SHE WAKES MY BROTHER UP TO FEED HER.

AND IM FAST ASLEEP UNABLE TO WARN HIM OF HER SCHEMES!

She ALSO attempts to do this at her evening meals! Where she demands to be fed roughly an hour earlier than normal. And I think, 'well I fed her way earlier than she's used to, so I guess it makes sense. ' so I feed her.

She's very confused on why it doesn't work the same when an hour laster she demands food again, but everyone was AWAKE! TO SEE HER BEING FED! she's like 'it worked this morning? Why not now?' And is VERY upset when we don't feed her twice at night.

FUCKING! FAT! ASS! CAT! SHE GOT ME AGAIN!

[alpineshift]

get to know me!

I've been bestowed a tag from @imperatorrrrr ! 🥹 so now I'm on your dash hehe.

Do you make your bed?

Yes! Every single morning. It's really just rearranging my pillows and layering my blankets properly. I am entrenched in the routine.

Favourite number?

4. Perfectly even, perfectly square.

What's your job?

I'm a writer at my day job too, just less creatively inclined. I do a lot of technical writing, communications, and edit stuff like legal docs. I've read so many terms and conditions docs back to front lmao.

If you could go back to school, would you?

I already have! Halfway between my old job and new job I got an additional certificate.

Can you parallel park?

Yes, mostly because you need it to pass your driver's test where I live LOL. I don't use it often but I'm good at reverse parking so it kinda helps keep the skill fresh.

Do you think aliens are real?

100%. To quote Mr. Nico "I'd pragmatically approach the alien" Hischier, I'd be curious about them too.

Can you drive a manual car?

Absolutely not! BUT to echo imperatorrrrr it's kinda hot to watch someone who's good at it driving stick lmao

Guilty pleasure?

Garbage reality TV I can throw on in the background and just let it run. 90 day fiancé, selling sunset, selling the OC, singles inferno, things like that haha.

Tattoos?

More than 10!

Favourite colour?

Anything dark blue, dark green, or pastel pink.

Favourite type of music?

I will truly listen to anything at least once the only genre I haven't really enjoyed is opera. I lean more towards rock and metal rn. Just know that I edit all my fics to house music LOL idk what it is about that genre but it fucking slaps when I have to dial in.

Do you like puzzles?

I'm terrible at them but I like it.

Any phobias?

Trypophobia. I don't even know if I spelled it right but I am 2000% not gonna even risk checking.

Favourite childhood sport?

I was pretty sporty; I loved and still love figure skating, snowboarding, skiing, swimming, diving lol.

Do you talk to yourself?

Constantly. imo it's also literally the only way to guarantee your writing makes sense lololol I am always talking myself thru my writing at work and for fics.

Tea or coffee?

Tea in the mornings and coffee in the afternoons.

First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

A teacher, and then a journalist.

What movies do you adore?

The LOTR trilogy (of course), most studio ghibli films that came out before and including Howl's Moving Castle, the Matrix Trilogy, Pacific Rim, Anastasia, and sooo many more.

And that's me! I'm feeling shy today so this is just an open tag to anyone who follows me and comes across this - feel free to participate (and tag me after! so I can get to know all of you!) 🥰

[fuckyeahfightlock]

if you get this, answer with three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs (if you want to🖤)! anon or not, doesn't matter, let's get to know the person behind the blog✨

Here's one fact about me right now:

I'm back on my bullshit playing The Sims. I have been faithful to The Sims 3 for a million years (I played The Sims when it came out, and The Sims 2, but The Sims 3 was my fave), but currently I'm playing The Sims 4 for the first time. I only play the base game (I don't like to spend real money on imaginary stuff) and currently I'm playing the scenarios.

I just finished Making Money (start with §0, end up with §1,000,000). I started with three young adult women, called the scenario "Roomies Get Rich" and because I'm a pure purist, they started with literally nothing. I put them on an empty lot with no house, so all they had were their cellphones. They got jobs, harvested local plants to create a garden (by the end of the scenario they were making about §40k every other day on their gardening side hustle), and showered/used the toilets at the gym. At first their empty lot had a toilet, a single bed, and a fridge just out there on the grass. By the end, they were in a 3 bedroom house.

Ember and Chandler married each other and Tia married three times just to get people to move in--and bring their money. Tia was not well liked and it was hard to convince anyone to date her! Eventually the couple divorced because Chandler cheated (not my fault! I did not even see this going on at a party they were having!) and Tia swooped right in to marry Ember (I stayed up past midnight on a school night to build a wedding venue). Chandler met and married another woman, a young adult named Alex who somehow had a son who was also a young adult??? (moved in with only §10k but she was an astronaut making like §1100/day at her job).

By then my original three were elders. The game started warning me it was time to get their affairs in order, and they only had about §650,000. I was (pure purist!) determined that at least one of my original three had to make it to the million, so I never bothered giving any of them children and I only put up with outsider Alex because of her high-paying career--she was NOT going to be the only one alive when they hit the mil! Tia drank a youth potion that killed her instantly (hot tip, don't try to turn yr very elderly elders' clocks back this way). Her widow, Ember, died a few days later, was brought back for a day, died again, came back for like an afternoon, then died for the final time. One thing I hate about the Sims 4 is when someone dies all you hear is crying in that house for three whole days. Someone is ALWAYS crying and it becomes annoying. Chandler and Alex HATED Ember, yet still they were constantly getting into bed to Cry It Out.

Ember was my Level 10 gardener, so after she died, the cowplant didn't get fed (Chandler was afraid of it) so it died. I wanted to leave its skull there in the garden for aesthetics, but you know I sold it for §250 because it was getting down to the wire and, as ever, every simolean counted. I sold all the art on the walls, I sold the microscope and crafting table (side hustle! Before Tia died she was banging out §377 wooden bathtubs every other day) and chess table. I sold an extra bed and an end table and all the extra decorations/awards Tia had earned in her Criminal career (very low paying and I didn't realise she would not be able to just go around stealing stuff from other houses or public lots! After she retired she freelanced in computer hacking stuff). When there was only about §50,000 to go I considered selling off literally everything in the house (the rugs, the wallpaper, the sinks and toilet and certainly the TV and computer), but that didn't seem purely pure even though it would technically have worked.

I think it was selling off a crop of flowers, veg, and fruit from the garden that finally put them over the top. The only thing I didn't have by the end was potatoes! I never got seeds for them and couldn't find them in the park in Willow Creek, where I was told they grew wild. There was the cowplant for a while, the Forbidden Fruit (if they eat it they become a PlantSim for five days), trashfruit, birds of paradise, dragonfruit, pomegranates. . .even mushrooms despite my phobia about fungus. Ember even got all the magic beans and grew the Mystical Plant Portal which is a really pretty, huge, pink-sparkly weeping willow style tree--so massive it barely fit on the tiny lot (did I mention I really had to cram planters and trees onto this tiny, tiny lot where the house took up like 95% of the space???)--which I wish you could just plant when you're building; I'd put them everywhere. It was so big it clipped through the wall of the third little bedroom/office, and you can't delete or move it.

So in the end, Chandler was the only one of the original Roomies who lived to Get Rich, but she made it! She also had her cute astronaut wife and several days left to live before the Grim Reaper came for her. I quit the scenario as soon as it ended; I was ready to play something else.

(All of this, and my actual favourite part of playing The Sims is building! I'm not great at it but I love building and decorating houses and other buildings. The Sims 4 has some quirks but so far it's the best interface for building and I have built some decent houses--or, in "Flip This House!" style, I'll buy one or take one from the gallery, use that motherlode money cheat a million times, and remodel the house completely--adding upper stories to make more rooms is my specialty. My kid saw me building one of my houses and asked me to build her one, so I did that for her on her laptop while she was at school one day--the whole second floor was a "teen hangout" sort of like a mini apartment, with the bedrooms and a big common area for TV, gaming, music, and art. My kid also does not mind spending [my] real money on imaginary stuff, so she has a million Sims 4 expansion packs and kits I do not have, like horses, and cats/dogs, and holidays, and I don't know what all.)

Anyway.

I'm back to playing The Sims.

[dittobtch]

Asks number

68, 69, 88 & 94?

hiii thank you for asking :)

68. what's the most recent entry in your notes app?

technically, it's my answers to these questions lmao. besides that, it's me keeping track of how much money and data i'm spending on my trip:

69. favourite song?

honestly, i never know how to answer this question. the first thing that came to mind was we're in love by boygenius. it will always be special to me and one day i hope to get a tattoo inspired by it

88. how fucked is your sleep schedule?

right now it's okay tbh. mostly because i'm on a trip so i'm forcing it to be okay and also because my body is still kinda used to the 9-5 work schedule so it'll automatically wake me up before 9am. usually, it's pretty bad (3/4/5am to whenever i wake up). it was worse last week when i split my sleep (3 hours at night and then 3 hours in the afternoon, non consecutive)

94. if you could have any superpower besides the typical choices (flight, shapeshifting, elemental powers, etc.), what would you pick?

the ability to manipulate probability/ chance. so like i could say there's a 100% chance that i'm going to pass this test and then it'd be guaranteed to happen

[studywithanoodle]

Weeks 3 and 4

It's been a bit since my last post! My bio midterm was Wednesday, so my time was taken up by that as well as my mental health problems that came up again last week. That will be discussed more in the next section of my post. I also got my midterm score at midnight on Friday, so I will reflect on that as well.

A View Into My Week of Work and Studying

I found out that I have to take the final for Calculus 2 at my school so that I can take Calculus 3 next semester, which slightly concerns me because of how it'll fit in my schedule at this point in registration. I registered for classes on November 1st, and my schedule looks pretty good other than my long day on Wednesdays. It pretty much has everything that I need, including Monday mornings free when I travel back to school from home and Friday afternoons free before peak time for the train back home so that my commute is cheaper. Because of this, I created a calendar to space out my review of Calculus 2 topics so that I can be prepared in time for finals week.

I found out that I can't take Physics 2 next semester since it would be technically re-enrollment due to my transfer credits from high school and would require a whole process, so I decided that I would audit the class. I like this option a lot better because I won't have to do labs LOL but I get access to the subject material and can practice my skills. On this note, I'm unable to tutor in the Learning Resource Center this semester, but next semester I should have a spot.

Now, for my review of my bio midterm! I studied a lot for it in the two weeks leading up to it, which resulted in me finishing it in around 15-20 minutes. In the days leading up to the release of grades, I kept hearing people discuss the answers to certain questions that were hard, and I started get nervous about my score.

I ended up getting an 86, so if I had gotten one more question right, I would've gotten an A, which I'm slightly upset about. I aimed for an A, so I'm not the happiest, but it's definitely advantageous considering the curving and the fact that the median score was a 59 like the last midterm. I'm really trying to figure out how to study better so I can get an A+, which is obviously possible considering someone got a 96. If anyone has any extremely obscure tips, let me know ahaha I feel like I've seen everything!

I'm currently working on my application to a neurosurgery summer program, so I requested a letter of recommendation from my mentor. The acceptance rate is around 3%, which I'm concerned about, so I'm looking at other summer research programs. Even if they don't end up being for neurosurgery, I can gain a lot from doing clinical neuroscience research at a major institution somewhere. I just really hope I get into the program of my choice, though.

Concerns

This is where I discuss the mental health episode that I had last week (not this week that just passed). I think that it's important to discuss mental health when it comes to being a student and a productive individual outside of academics. My depression (which for now is undiagnosed but I'm on the road to treatment for it) affects my life in many facets, as it would for anyone else. I definitely would categorize it as high-functioning, but I've had really bad depressive episodes a few times, with them occurring only in 2022. This is most likely because my condition went untreated for a while, so that kind of stress builds up. This episode in particular delayed my submission of my paper for my writing class, which was the second one that I unfortunately submitted late already this semester.

Part of the stress comes from not really feeling comfortable with the community since my class in my program is small, so I don't have any friends in it. I started meeting with a study group, and we helped each other with doing better on the midterm for bio, but it's not really like I would hang out with them normally? I don't really know. Well, there's our vulnerability statement for this week lol.

Hobby Analysis

Yesterday, I took out time to watch youtube videos and crochet a bit, which was really fun. I missed watching tiktok compilations on youtube and crocheting at the same time, which was something I did on the weekends often during my senior year in high school. I really enjoy it because I usually learn a lot since they're social justice videos.

Hopes for Next Week

I hope that in the upcoming week, I get more on track with my calculus studying since this week was kind of wild considering I had to travel home. I'm starting mentoring, so that's going to be an enjoyable experience, as well. I hope that I start doing my research proposal for my writing class in a timely manner as to prevent a situation like the one from last week. Finally, I hope that I can finalize my list of summer research programs and be more diligent with work on my clinical research.

Until next week!

[simplytheevebest]

I posted 1,167 times in 2022

That's 1,167 more posts than 2021!

175 posts created (15%)

992 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@eves-da-best

@youleavethetardisbrakeson

@astrid-v

@evebestt

@faytalepsy

I tagged 1,048 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#eve best - 828 posts

#fate the winx saga - 430 posts

#ftws - 419 posts

#house of the dragon - 411 posts

#fate winx saga - 404 posts

#hotd - 402 posts

#fate: the winx saga - 400 posts

#rhaenys targaryen - 380 posts

#rhaenys velaryon - 373 posts

#farah dowling - 334 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i just don't agree with the creators explanation of motherhood and making it sound like rhaenys could've ended the war before it started

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

An absolutely wild theory, but after talking to my cousin and showing her the scenes (she is a video editing wizard) I am thinking they filmed Farah's scenes separately. Like entirely. The camera angles and positioning of the characters is done in such a way that they don't ever explicitly interact or touch until the end when Bloom and Farah hug. And even then, we don't see Bloom's face when she hugs Farah, nor Farah's face when they show Bloom. And it's not like the hug in s1, where it was shown from multiple angles but clearly it was the actors.

I don't know, the blocking of the scenes is very deliberate, I feel like, where they stand separate in the old house and the lighting on Farah's face is different from the lighting with the others. Which if this is true, highlights again how lucky we are to have gotten those scenes from Eve Best if this was all they could arrange with her schedule on House of the Dragon (and also why we didn't get any Silrah scenes).

Edit: okay so not so wild after all! @eves-da-best found this article (thank you my dear) where the actors explain Eve Best actually filmed scenes on the HotD set and her lines on her phone to send over. So we can acknowledge how AMAZING it is that she would be willing to do that now that she is, as Eliot Salt said best "a House of the Dragon icon."

230 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

#4

Sky: Can I ask you for dating advice?

Saul: Just because I'm with Farah doesn't mean I know how I did it

250 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

#3

Farah, post s2, alive and well as it should be: I learned some very valuable lessons from this

Saul: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away

Farah: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God

259 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

#2

S2 Has Officially Broken Me, or the Farah the Fern AU Nobody in Their Right Mind Would Ever Ask For

So I don't see why Farah the fern couldn't have been a thing. Like okay she can't retain a physical form for extended periods of time while her magic recharges and they figure out how to give her a physical form for good, so just keep her in a pot on the desk. Zap her with some magic when you want a chat like a magic, magic 8 ball.

I'm just imagining Saul at her desk doing the paperwork that's technically part of her job and she's a fern so she can't do anything except, I don't know, change colors? Wave leaves? Maybe as she regains more magic she can change plants, so she keeps turning into a cactus and Saul knows that means she doesn't want him doing her work and she knows that he knows but he just ignores her like "sorry I don't speak plant."

This has the same energy as invisible Stella chucking plants to the floor when the girls talked about something and she disagreed. Like imagine they take turns showing her around the school and talking to her so she doesn't feel left out or cooped up in her office because she's a literal plant and can't leave. And Riven carries around a potted plant for a whole afternoon with ridiculous commentary until Musa appears with actual Farah the Fern and it turns out he's been talking to a normal plant all day, so then they have to decorate the pot so that mix up doesn't happen again.

And there's an argument about keeping her in the common room of the suite at night because they all want her near but maybe she'd like to be in her own quarters? Will she get lonely? And Saul steps in like "alright, enough, if Headmistress Dowling is sleeping anywhere it's with me" and then he has to contend with the shit-eating grins of his students for that little slip up and poor Farah just has to listen to all of this.

I might have cried out all my braincells with this AU guys, but I'm not sorry ❤️ it's making me laugh, that's what matters

Edit: this is now a thing! Farah the Fern Masterlist

260 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Okay but can we talk about the face Rhaenys made when Daemon suggested the Blacks "had Meleys" without even asking her if she was supporting them?

She literally went:

262 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[wack-ashimself]

Microsoft 'logic'.

I have been banned on any video game device only ONE time in my life. Probably close to over 1/2 a decade ago at least. It was for only 2 days. And it was ONLY for online communication; I could still play any games I wanted.

And I am quite proud of it. I worked HARD to figure out the best way to tell someone to fuck off.

"I am going to fuck your dad in the ass."

<and coming from a straight white guy, that pisses them off even more!>

It's short, sweet, but offends ANYONE I've ever said it to (which has been...1 technically. Everyone else I have said it to was me telling THIS story of getting banned and why. But they admitted-that's a pretty fucked up thing to say to someone.) Try it out on someone who pisses you off. It's fun! Calls their dad gay, a submissive bottom bitch (I will never imply force, only choice), and 3x worse than a your mama burn.

BUT, I was caught cuz I wrote them a message. So I knew, no matter how mad, never send a message to anyone. If anything, say it in game. Don't even send them an audio message. Don't need to give them bullets to fire, ya know? And I only would say that in EXTREME circumstances.

Flashforward to sunday afternoon. Wake up and SOMETHING I did saturday night got me reported TWICE, back to to back. Which makes absolutely NO sense. Because, again, both reports came in at the exact same time, I can safely assume that it was for the same offense. And maybe 2 different people reported me? But you get...marks, I guess? 8 marks in one year and YOU ARE BANNED FROM ONLINE GAMING FOR A YEAR!? I got THREE in ONE NIGHT?! (I had ZERO before this.) And it must be from the same person: literally, to the second, they were reported in. One was 1 second after the next. Literally. But here's where it gets weirder. 1-the first report was 1 mark. The second report was TWO marks. WHY was the second report worth more? If they came in the SAME time, it's the SAME offense, but one is worth more? WTF logic is that? 2-when I complained, they said I was being 'sexually aggressive' in nature. Did NOT say what I did, when, or to who. WTF? I never said I would rape or murder. I didn't send a dick pic. I didn't do anything! I talked a LOT of shit cuz I was playing comp with the dumbest mother fucking teams ever. But nothing sexual. That's...boring. And distracting. Like that insult above is the MEANEST thing I have said online in years. And I said it once. 3-again, I have been told to KILL MYSELF by assholes online. I made a promise DECADES ago never to say that to a stranger. Cuz they may just do it. And I don't need that on my head. But those evil fuckers talking rape and murder get to stay online?

So not only am I banned till WEDNESDAY night (4 days. 2 days longer than the last ban) but I am not allowed to play ANY multiplayer games. Tho I OWN them and have online gold. Evil fuckers.

What's even stranger? RIGHT after this happened, I had a FUCK TON of friends on twitter AND facebook saying how they were being shadow banned, censored, and straight up banned off social media, In HUGE numbers, unprovoked. My newsfeed was drenched in claims.

This isn't a coincidence. I have been doing/saying the same borderline rated R but NOT rated x in online gaming. NOW they start mass editing what we can say/do? I think this is one of those times of they wonder 'just how much shit can we get away with?'

<Side note. This was overwatch. Which I have 5 star level endorsement. The HIGHEST endorsement you can get. YOU ONLY GET THOSE IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO ENDORSE YOU! So are they endorsing me then doxxing me? WTF?>

Also I know I won't look like the best guy here. I am just throwing it all out there: I am not always the easiest gamer to game with, however, I don't tell people I'm going to rape or murder them. So maybe handle the PSYCHOS first? I've been told to go die! Holy shit man. That's not as evil as anything I ever said to a stranger. They're usually stupid fucking kids being cruel too. So even if they did convince a kid to kill themselves, they'd probably get away with it....that's fucked up. Here's a fun story. 7th grade. Bully. SMART bully. Literally, TO MY FACE, said 'I could kill you, declare insanity, and be out in a few years.' SEVENTH FUCKING GRADE!

[purplesurveys]

1793

Yesterday

1) What was the weather like? Did it change your plans in any way? It was extremely sunny during the day which kind of sucked, because yesterday my family played host to a family reunion on the rooftop and the weather made things feel a little uncomfortable. In the afternoon, while the sun did hide for a bit it ended up being super humid anyway, so in either case it really just ended up being a super sweaty affair lol.

We addressed it by making sure our aircon in the living room was turned on the entire afternoon, so that anyone who starts to feel super hot or dizzy can choose to go down – which is why it ended up pissing me off when I caught a few people not even trying to hide their bitchings about how hot it was at our place and yet refused to go downstairs when I offered. Complaints are classic Filipino guest things but something I've never learned how to tolerate so I was pretty irritated from the get-go of that damn reunion.

2) What did you do yesterday, anyway? Helped my parents host said reunion, for the most part. I was so exhausted from all the walking and hosting and socializing all over the house so ngl I was knocked out from like 5 to 8, right after people left ha. When I woke up earlier this evening I spent a few hours playing a game on my phone and now I'm here winding down with a couple of surveys. Not a very eventful Saturday which is how I prefer my weekends to be.

3) Did you eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner? What did you have? I didn't have breakfast as usual. Lunch wasn't a full meal for me, I just got like 3 pieces of sushi from our reunion spread. I also didn't have dinner and just made a cup of coffee which is still right next to me.

4) Did you do some form of exercise? What? If going up and down the stairs 200 times counts as exercise then it would be that.

5) Who did you spend the most time with? My sister. Out of the huge crowd at home, we knew each other the best so we stuck together, lol.

6) What television shows or movies did you watch? I finished Gyeongseong Creature super early on in the morning (like, technically I was watching it from Friday then it bled into the midnight hours of Saturday haha), then I also played a couple episodes of Friends for the very few people who were in my age group in the reunion.

7) What time did you get up and go to bed? I got up at like 9. Went to sleep at 3 AM earlier.

8) What was the best bit about yesterday? I can't decide between watching Gyeongseong Creature and getting to eat sushi.

9) What about the worst? Being bombarded with work messages on a Saturday. My work! Makes me! Depressed!

10) Did you talk to anyone on the phone? Who? Why? My mom needed help ordering additional food for the reunion so she called me up while she was doing last few errands at the grocery so I can take care of it.

Today

1) What time did you get up? I just got up and it's currently nearly a half hour past 8.

2) What are your plans for today? I'll be taking my family to my favorite ramen place for lunch, then later in the afternoon I'll be seeing my close friends for our super late Christmas party.

3) Have you eaten any meals yet? What did you have? None yet. I don't mind not eating for a few more hours because I'll be eating a lot today lmao, so I'd rather save up the hunger so I can fully pig out for both lunch and dinner.

4) Are you planning on seeing your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend? Yup! I'm seeing Angela, Reena, and Hans later for dinner/Christmas party. I don't think we've been together since...August? In any case, we'll be at our fav Korean spot so I'm looking forward to it.

5) Does your favorite television show air today? Breaking Bad ended 11 years ago.

6) Have you spoken to your parents yet? Nopes.

7) How many texts have you received? I haven't gotten anything yet for today.

8) Are you planning on going to bed early? I never do on Sundays because I never look forward to Mondays.

9) Have you done anything remotely productive today? Nope. The full load of my day will start in like an hour when we head to our usual Sunday mass and after that I'm going to be traveling everywhere hahaha. BGC for ramen, then I might have to shop for clothes for my Seventeen concert next week, then head home so I can drive out for dinner with friends.

10) How much money did you spend so far? Are you planning on spending more later? None yet as it's only 8 but I am for sure going to be pulling out my card a few times today.

Tomorrow

1) What time do you have to get up tomorrow? Around 8.

2) What do you hope the weather will be like? Chilly but not too chilly. Cold weather feels so good that it makes me miserable when at work, because when the weather is comfy like that all I want to do is rest. So it'll be nice if it were cold, but I hope it's not too comfy!cold that all I'll think about is why I'm not in bed, lol.

3) Is there anything you’re dreading about tomorrow? The fact that I have work and that it's Monday.

4) Is there anything important you need to do, or can you just relax? Nope, can't relax.

5) Do you have plans to see your friends? No, I never have time to during weekdays.

6) What do you hope will happen tomorrow? I hope my schedule will be nice to me.

7) Are you going to wake up at home, or somewhere else? Just at home.

8) If you don’t have any plans, what do you think you’ll end up doing? I'll be working.

9) Do you have to get a work out in at some point? Nope.

10) Will you be working or studying at all? Yes.

[liliansun]

day 41/365 of haechan~

i was smiling along your progress through haechan day :) hope you're doing okay today my lilac <3

i am in an incredibly good mood today :) hopefully there is no complete switch :)

buut considering it is now monday 8th of may and i am still on night shift for another hour and a half - here's my week in bullet points

been watching grown-ish and have been frothing over luka sabbat because what an attractive dude

finished my test :) and should've gone with my original answers because of that i got 4 wrong on a 10% worth test and i'm still thinking about it

went to bed yesterday as my dad was waking up

my mum had reconstruction surgery for her knee that she fucked up playing indoor netball years ago (i was also there fun fact and i may have laughed and she uses it to explain why she calls me evil to the people who call me 'a literal angel') and i have been her nurse for the afternoon/nights and my brother in the morning and we swap.

it was my mum's birthday on the 3rd and so many people assume she's my sister. and my dad takes special pleasure in explaining that she's actually older than him.

my dad's jaw is swollen so i've had to slip him drugs....prescription ofc :)

been all over haechan this week and well that's no surprise to anyone

i may have found a job working at the ski fields and there's nothing really stopping me except my trip to the cook islands and australia :)

i still haven't decided if i'm going to that birthday or not. i'm going to see how my mum feels by wednesday-ish? still the same. want to go. but there's also things i need to think about and evaluate.

i've been 'spending' a lot of time with seventeen and ateez and i've just been feeling really happy because of it.

my friend is holding a go for the new skz album and like a barely constrained idiot, i brought the fucking thing and will most likely get the standard one as well :) joy. and i told my mum it was for my australia trip and it was, i just didn't use it for that reason. and my savings acc has gone down because my brother is my taxi driver and he is incapable of paying for his own fricken vape, petrol and food. and he knows, i can't say no to him. not really. because he's my only way out of this damn house because none of my friends except one who works all day lives here anymore and i do not drive. i also feel bad (and he's not even trying to guilt trip me either and i think that's what gets me)

my mum and i aren't the biggest fans of physical touch but she wanted to hold my hand today/ technically yesterday and i thought it was the cutest thing.

THAT MADE ME SMILE THAT YOU SMILED 🫶

I hope you still had a good day honey and are having a good day <33 also mom holding your hand is so cute 🥺

THE TEST SCORE,, I’m proud of you for still getting the rest right but damn I feel that myself 🤕

I hope mom is doing better :( and she heals well,, tell her that I said that 🫶 AND TELL HER I SAID HAPPY BELATED BDAY TOO

Is your dad having an allergic reaction? :(

NEW JOB YESS 🦵also if you don’t go bc your mom isn’t doing good bc she just had surgery then they should understand

:(( honey,, I’m always here if you vent too about all that and more or less 🫶 love you sm and you got this

[dangoesfasting1022]

Day 8 - Monday, Oct 24th 2022

! Metrics

Weight: 93kg (27,1% body fat) -5,5kg

Blood pressure: 136/95 (+11/-1) :-(

! Medication/Nutrition

Alkaline drink

1 Espresso

! Pain/Anomalities

Lower back (level 3/10)

Tinnitus (1/10)

Neck, Back (5/10)

! Comments

Didn't sleep well. Accidently used the wrong pillow and now I have back and neck pain. Idiot me. I could have taken that pillow away before going to sleep. Blood pressure also too high, probably because of the pain.

Body feels stiff and weird, will try an alkaline drink this morning.

I must admit: I grow tired of fasting. "Technically" I could probably do this for a year or so (if I want to) but it sucks all the fun out of life if you're a foodie like me. But I still strongly believe that it will have physical benefits and hence will stick to it (or try to, haha).

Nice to see that the body fat percentage goes down. And you can already see it in the mirror. Right now losing around 0,2-0,3kg per day. Means I could expect 5-6kg more to lose until the end of the 4 weeks. Let's see.

I'm tired.

Update: I was SO CLOSE to stop this fasting experiment because I felt tired AF. Decided to start earlier with work, spent the morning in the sun (until around 12pm) and also later had a cup of espresso. And then, WTF, my energy returned, I had an immensely productive afternoon/evening, working outside, on the terrace, in the sun. What's going on? D3 deficiency? Caffeine addiction? I am clueless. But right now I feel amazing. Weird stuff.

[stormblessed95]

Good afternoon Storm,

I love saying that! As I am a Marvel SUPER-STAN it feels like I am speaking to Ororo (Storm from XMen) and I love that!

So here is my first official ask for you (following all this months of “respectful stalking”).

What and/or how long do you feel/think it would take for South Korea to look into same sex relationships?

I come from a “Japanese Backgroud” in the sense that I am very familiar with the ways of the Japanese culture. Never lived there, mind you, but my life from 2010 was very much conditioned by it . Any holidays I could take I would go for weeks to Japan and then go back home in Europe. As a self-though, I successfully got my JLPT level 3 so technically I could live and work there as well.

When Japan announced that they were now lawfully taking into consideration same sex marriage, I was so f***inf shook. I love that country, but as a woman and a person who is part of the lgbtqia+ community I didn’t think I’d see any such change happening in my lifetime.

Now the women movement already had started but the same sex marriage came out of nowhere and literally my colleagues had to tell me that! I was so shook. I really didn’t see that coming. Now it is not a made law yet, but it is under revision in congress and some prefectures can already make it legal! Now, the fact that it is under revision has made many in the community much more comfortable over there and I almost cried on that day.

I’m really not familiar with the Korean culture. Not at all. And I was wondering if you happen to know at what point they are with their lgbtqia+ matters, because at the moment with my limited knowledge they seem to be so far away... Regardless of the Christian community which is very strong and very vocal, I was wondering about your thoughts on the matter. I was wondering if you think they might take a “Japanese stand” on the matter or just keep ignoring the matter and proceed as they are?

South Korea also has a very big lgbtqia+ community and it hurts me to think that they might have to struggle to no end.

Thank you so much in advance💜

Marengo.

Hi! So wow, this is a hard and dense topic where I'm not sure if I can do it total justice here in a blog post. I do have a post up from last year about homophobia in South Korea. Which is here for those who haven't seen it or want to reread as a refresher before this post

And I guess we can kind of take this as a part 2 for that post now.

I can't guess on how long something will take, I don't know that much about how policitical maneuvering works. I just know it will absolutely take too long no matter what. But we can sort of just touch on what things currently are looking like over there right now based on my admittedly limited knowledge.

They do currently have a new president over there, Yoon Suk-Yeol. In regards to the people he was up against for the presidency his stated stances for the 4 pledge recommendations in the LGBTQ category was a partial pledge in all four. South Korea is still one of the lowest ranking developed countries for gender equality and same sex relationships are still considered bad and taboo.

Though we can say that there has at least been SOME progress. In April 2022, South Korea's top court overturned a 2019 military court conviction of two soldiers sentenced to now suspended prison terms for a same-sex relationship they had. The Court said the original conviction did not take into account whether the defendants' relations, which took place in a personal space, were consensual, and thus excessively restricting their right to sexual self-determination. The two defendants were indicted in 2017 for having same-sex intercourse in 2016, while off duty and outside their base, which is punishable with prison for up to two years under the Military Criminal Act. In the past, authorities said this law was required in order to maintain discipline.

But some progress is not a lot. Nor has this (to my knowledge) actually decriminalized gay relationships in the military (yet). In 2019, the now presidential secretary, Kim Seong-hoe, made statements saying he believed that homosexuality was a type of mental illness and should be treated as such. He HAS acknowledged that past statement as hate speech and has "back tracked." In the way that politicians do. His statement is now not any better. His current statement regarding LGBTQ citizens? Here:

“I respect individuals’ diverse sexual orientations. However, personally, I am against homosexuality. And there are people who have innate homosexual tendencies, but in many cases, I think people mistake their habits or tendencies as their sexual instincts. In those cases, homosexuality can be treated, like how a smoker can receive treatments for cigarette addiction.”

Jackass.

And the president himself? When asked in a humans rights watch questionnaire about steps he would take to recognize same sex relationships, Yoon stated:

“Although one may have the right to choose their sexual orientation, I think we need a careful approach to the issue because denying biologically assigned genders and recognizing same-sex couples could have significant social impact.”

No, he doesn't mean a positive social impact either. At least in his "opinion." Yoon also made getting rid of the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family a central pledge of his during his campaign. Saying that there is no systemic discrimination of gender in South Korea. Which is fundamentally untrue and should show his stances fairly accurately. Not to mention that queer people are still considered bad, there is almost "witch hunts" for them in the military, which have been shared and talked about. And even Holland a few months ago posted about being attacked and hate crimed while walking the city with his manager just for being an openly gay idol

So do I think anything is going to change in the next few years? No. I really don't. Do I think that there are people fighting for their rights and pushing and that baby steps are being taken? Yes. I hope they will get there. I hope everywhere will get there. No one deserves to live in fear for simply being who they are or being out with someone they love. And this should serve as an excellent reminder to people who think BTS might be gay or who might be dating in a queer relationship and for jikookers who believe Jimin and JK are together but question why at times they may act differently than normal. Or just want them to confirm something. Or just want them to shut people down more effectively. Or whatever TF it is you want. Remember the society they live in and remember the things you are asking them for can actually harm them. Either mentally or physically or otherwise.

If you are queer, living in a homophobic society, that will affect you CONSTANTLY. And it will affect your actions at times too. Hell, even if you don't live in a homophobic society, it will still affect you at times.

As of now, with this current administration, I don't see things progressing any further than they are now. I'd love to be proven wrong. And I think that at least not letting anything get worse can be considered a small win. The current president campaigning to even partially promote some LGBTQ stances, but doing absolutely nothing about it yet also comparing it to a smoking habit that needs to be kicked. It's giving the same vibes....

Depressing. But again, Baby steps are baby steps and we can be happy for those while simultaneously wishing for more. And that's just South Korea. So many countries, even the ones that are doing better, have far to go.