#also it’s Connor and Ava’s last season :(((

[dochudson]

I know I haven’t been liveblogging much but I’m on to Terry and Elsa’s season!! But also guest star Rachel Dipillo :(((

[thatonefng]

How about indefinitely - Sarah Reese x Reader (Chicago Med)

A/N: I finished watching the season finale of Chicago Med and was inspired by Will Halstead’s own departure and I miss Sarah Reese

Summary: Sarah and the reader had been dating while she was the psychiatrist resident and the reader an attending physician in the ED until she decided to leave Gaffney and head to Texas. At the airport she offered the reader to come with here but ultimately declined, reason was Chicago is home. She was okay with your decision but said if they’re ever in Texas, just call her.

—————————————

Since that day, you had a hard time maintaining your work, every where you look, you see her. It affected you personally and professionally because throughout your career, Sarah had been there since the beginning.

Now it was you who saw her at the end of her career for a new change. It was understandable that she wanted to leave, it made you proud that she was finally making a choice for herself, yet it was saddening that she was still going.

But before boarding, she turned to you and told you that you could come along with her. You did ponder on it but ultimately decided to stay in Chicago. She understood and you knew that it marked the end of your relationship. It ended amicably and you send her away.

It was miserable, the next months you woke up expecting her to be near you but she wasn’t. You also tried going out but it wasn’t like the one you had previously with the psychiatrist. Then it hit you, you still held a torch for Sarah Reese.

During your residency at Gaffney, it was understandable that people all come and go. Connor left, Ava died, Jeff moved to Hawaii, Dylan resigned, Ethan and April had gotten married and started a mobile clinic, Nat had been fired, and now recently Will had been fired and moved to Seattle, last you heard from him he reconnected with Natalie. All of them leaving hurt, but Sarah’s hurt you the most.

Now it was only you, Goodwin, Maggie, Dr. Charles, and Dr. Marcel.

But now, it was your time to go. Reason behind it was because of an off-the-books surgery where you saved a child because as a doctor, you save anybody you can. When the staff found out, you took full responsibility and resigned from the hospital.

So here you are, in front of the many coworkers in the ED. With your stuff packed in a bag that is hung over your shoulders.

“I’m sorry that I have to say goodbye.” You spoke softly, but still audible enough for everybody to hear. “I know it’s not going to be easy once I’m gone, but I have faith that the people that stand here right now, will take great care to this city.” You stated without your voice cracking up.

Dr. Charles then approached you and gives you an embrace. It was emotional, growing up and helping Chicago was the best thing that you’ve ever felt.

“Let’s all wish Dr. L/N the very best.” Goodwin and the ED staff all applauded for you as you shook Goodwin’s hand, thanking her for everything.

Then you gave Maggie one final hug and finally approached Crockett. When he came to Gaffney you accepted him and in return he did to you as well and in the end you became basically brothers.

“Keep saving lives while I’m gone, yeah?” You told Crockett.

“Absolutely.” He shook your hand.

Exiting the ED itself, you turned around and gave one final wave to the still applauding staff.

~~~

A taxi was waiting outside for you. You had previously packed everything in your apartment but only brought your gym bag and a backpack.

“O’hares?” He asked for your destination. You had decided to leave Chicago whole.

“Yes.” You replied, looking out the window as this would be the final time you would seeing the windy city’s skyline. Memories started playing in your head as one tear silently fell.

~~~

Remembering Sarah you decided to go reunite with her so you had just arrived at Dallas Fort Worth International Airport.

Exiting the terminal, and looking all around you felt small. You did let her know that you were coming to Texas, albeit hesitantly because you had never contacted her so you didn’t know what her reaction would be.

She did read it so that’s a good sign. So again, here you are, in another state where everything is new. You pulled out your phone, in the process of calling a taxi, thinking that she wouldn’t be here but when you looked up, she was there.

She may have been amongst the crowds but her beauty made her stood out to you. Out of reaction, you cracked a smile.

You both approach each other, only stopping once you both were close. Looking at her, you could tell she has grown but was still the same Sarah you fell in love with years ago.

*Obviously not my gif but anyways*

“Hey.” She greeted you.

“Hey.” You repeated. It was nice to hear her voice again. And judging by the way she sounds, she was happy you were there, in front of her.

Her smile grew more but then she gawks at your lightload. “Is that all you packed.”

You shrugged in response. “I didn’t know how long you wanted me to stay.” You truthfully answered her.

Sarah shook her head as she said the words that unburdens you from discovering that your trip was a waste.

“How about indefinitely.” She smiled as she embraces you tightly, you doing the same. You were ecstatic that your reunion was a success.

Then she does the one thing that caught you off guard. She captures your lips with hers. The kiss lasted for seconds but to you, it felt like an eternity.

You were about to ask her but she beat you to it. “I’ve waited all this time for you, can we continue?” She rubbed your flustered cheeks like she always did.

You answered yes.

Then you both walked out of the terminal, hand-in-hand with a smile as your relationship with Sarah never died but instead grew. You were ready, ready for a new life together.

—————————

A/N: My first post, yay! I hope I did good

[felicitysmoaksx]

Hi everyone! So just a warning before you start reading this chapter. It's darker than the ones previously. Sarah and Justin do get hurt in this chapter. If you know what the last episode of season 3 of PD is about then you know why. And it also does go into some detail. Probably not as much as I think, but just to be safe.

So if you want to still know what happens without reading the greater details. Stop reading when you see Driving would always be a heavy feat for her. That’s why she almost always took the bus. But her hesitation now had nothing to do with driving so much as the seemingly abandoned parking garage she had pulled into. and pick it back up at By a stroke of luck, Ava had been coming out of a treatment room, from checking in on a frequent flier (their LVAD liked to give them complications that couldn’t be helped) when Sarah Reese and Justin Voight were brought in.

Please take care of yourselves with this chapter and happy reading!

Also, the songs I recommend for this chapter are: Blink by Revive and Leavin' by Jesse McCartney.

Rating: Explicit (Minors DNI 18+)

Summary:  Blue eyes flicked down to his lover asleep once more. Her chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. There was not a doubt in his mind that he knew Sarah. At least where it counted. He knew what kind of person she was. He knew her heart. But he didn’t know the stories of what made her heart the way that he knew it.  

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: Sexual Content, Depictions of parental abandonment, depictions of violence, inaccurate medical procedures, and implied/references a canonical character death.

Read On AO3 | Fic Playlist | Want to be tagged when I post a Rheese story?

Hold On, I Still Want You Ch. 3

Sarah woke up with a groan as sunlight filtered through her window. She burrowed back under her covers to block it out. After her fight with Justin, she was restless and it had taken her hours to get to sleep when she got home, and it didn’t help that her bed felt too small and too cold. Spending five nights out of a week at Connor’s apartment (She was definitely not attached. A sarcastic voice laughed bitterly in her head) for the last six months had gotten her used to his queen size mattress and him wrapped around her at night like a very large heating blanket and chasing her around the bed as he pressed kisses everywhere he could reach on her body while she laughed the morning after.

She groaned again as she rolled over. Was it pathetic that she could feel his phantom kisses even now? Were phantom kisses even a thing? She wondered as she finally sat up.

Checking the time on her phone, she saw the missed call and now a voicemail from Connor. The one she missed the night before. But she dismissed them from her notifications. She couldn’t deal with that now. It was probably just him calling her to let her down gently and that could wait. Right now she needed to find Justin.

She still needed to talk to him; she promised Hank she'd try to find out what was up with his son. Besides, Sarah also felt awful about their fight when she returned to her apartment, but she thought it might be better to let Justin sleep and cool off before she apologized and tried again. Using a friend-finding app, she found him in a parking garage on the outskirts of Wacker. So she got dressed, shoved half a protein bar in her mouth, and made her way to her car parked outside.

[LINE BREAK]  [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]

Driving would always be a heavy feat for her. That’s why she almost always took the bus. But her hesitation now had nothing to do with driving so much as the seemingly abandoned parking garage she had pulled into.

What the hell was Justin doing here? She wondered as she drove deeper into the garage. Deeper and deeper she went, following the little map on her phone’s screen. Then she caught sight of his car. Pulling up to it, she put her car in park and looked around for a moment, wondering if she should get out or try and call him, before she caught sight of him coming round the corner. Her pseudo-brother was headed right for her. Only he looked off? His shoulders were hunched and drawn tightly together. While his head kept glancing to look back over his shoulder.

“Justin, what’s going-” she started to ask when he reached the window. But Justin folded his arms and cut her off before she could even finish the question.

“Sarah, turn your car back on and drive away. Now.” Justin barked the order at her harshly, through the glass pane separating them. Dumbfounded, Sarah just stared at him. “Justin…I don’t…I-”

“Now Sarah! Now! Leave!”

Glancing over his shoulder for a moment, his green eyes were wild when he looked back at her. He hit her window with a closed fist, “Sarah, please. I’ll-I’ll explain later okay? Just go. Please just drive away.”

A tingling sensation rippled through her stomach. Her hand moved to the key still in the ignition but her eyes never left her best friend. “Justin, you’re scaring me…”

“Sarah, I’ll explain it all-”

“Okay. You’re two minutes are up and you couldn’t get her to leave. So now she’s a part of this.” A new voice called out as another man rounded the corner of Justin’s car. He had the kind of voice that instantly put you on edge because of how high and slimy it sounded. And the way he looked, the way he held himself reminded Sarah so much of Charlie. She stiffened at the stark parallels she could draw from this guy to the criminal who took care of her and Erin when Bunny stopped coming home.

The man in front of her raised his arm when he was in front of the windshield, pulling her out of her flashbacks of the past. Why? Sarah stiffened because in his hand, pointed directly in the space between her eyes, was a gun.

“Justin,” she said shakily as the other man jerked his hand to the side, “Out of the car. Now or you’ll get a bullet to the head.”

She knew she should do as he said. He had a gun and it was aimed at her. He’d probably have no hesitation in pulling the trigger too.  But she just sat there, eyes wide frozen in fear. Justin moved for her though.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. We’re just going to do what he says though, okay? Come on, get out of the car.” He didn’t wait for her to answer. Opening the door, he reached inside and undid her seat belt. Then he grabbed her arm gently and pulled her out of the car.  

“Justin,” her voice sounded near hysterical now. Her pseudo-brother though was calm. Or at least he seemed calm as he placed himself in front of her, backing her up so her back was against the metal of her car door and Justin’s back was pressed against her chest. “Justin,”

“It’s okay. It’ll be fine. Sarah, I promise everything will be fine. Don’t look at it. Look at my shoulder for right now. It’s okay.”

But the weapon was still pointed at her. Her brother was also going to take care of that though. He held his hands up as the other man moved closer. “Hey man, point that gun at me. Not at her. You’re scaring her enough and she has nothing to do with this. This is between you and me. I-I’m going to cooperate now, okay? Whatever you want. Because I might not care for my safety but I don’t play with hers.”

The other man clicked his tongue. Sarah heard the click of the safety come off at the same time. It echoed loudly in her ears like it was the end of something. She inhaled sharply. The end of her life. Her eleven-year-old self had been partially right. The bleak thought drowned out the conversation the other man and Justin were having.

“See if that were the case, you should’ve just left Melissa alone like I told you to in the first place. Then none of this would be happening. This is your fault, Justin. All of these deaths are on you. So you can go fuck yourself and her safety.”

Maybe it was her mind just trying to cope with what was actually happening but everything seemed to happen at double speed. The other man pulled the trigger and Justin moved. He turned around, trying to push her to the ground as the gun went off.  But he wasn’t fast enough. The bullet hit the back of his head. Then her best friend was dead weight as he passed out on top of her. Frozen deer-in-headlights fear paralyzed her just as much as Justin’s unconscious body did. So much fear and adrenaline were going through her that she didn’t register the pain in her neck. Or her blood that seemed to come out as if someone was crying slowly.

The man stalked forward. He gave a smile that held cruel humor, “I’m sorry sweetheart, I can’t leave any witnesses. Witnesses mean more mess for me and I can’t have that.”

Then the weapon was aimed at her again. Sarah shut her eyes when the gun went off. The shot stayed in her ears, but she didn’t feel the bullet break the skin of her neck. But she felt the blood starting to trickle out now. Though she knew what blood felt like in general, feeling her own blood coming out like this…felt different.

Then she was in and out of consciousness herself. She didn’t feel the barbed wire as it was tied to her skin, holding her wrists together. But she was barely there as he loaded her and Justin’s body into the trunk of Justin’s car.

“Don’t fight it, sweetheart. Just close your eyes and it’ll be over soon.” The man said, hovering over her face. She blinked feeling a little dazed. (Huh. He had shot her and Sarah didn’t even know his name.) The door was closed with a bang. She was alone in the darkness.

[LINE BREAK]  [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]

Sarah struggled to keep her eyes open while she tried to get the phone that lay in her pocket. Even if she knew it was futile with her hands bound together. The only thing she was doing was making the barbed wire dig further into her wrist. Still, she tried to get to her phone. But Justin’s solid mass, unmovable, unconscious body was on top of her and she could only see what was directly in front of her for fear of moving her neck. If she moved and the bullet was still inside her she could potentially paralyze herself, if it hit her spine. She couldn’t even feel the bullet inside of her with the shock coursing through her, yet she could feel the blood seeping out of the wound. It was wet and sticky. Sarah also knew it was oozing out quickly because she was dizzier than she had been just a few minutes ago when her mind had been sharp and clear.

Her eyes slid closed. But she peeled them open as quickly as her sluggish reflexes would allow her. It was important that she stay awake. For the life of her though, she couldn’t remember why now. She just knew she had to. But…maybe a small nap wouldn’t hurt. Just a small one. Besides, she was warm. So warm like a blanket was pulled over her… Surely a five-minute nap wouldn’t hurt. Her eyes slid closed as she sank into oblivion.

Sarah only said a small nap. Yet, she didn’t wake up when her phone buzzed in her pocket. Connor was calling her again, but just like last night, she didn’t answer. She couldn’t. Her phone buzzed again. Hank called her one minute then Erin called her five minutes after that.

Nor did she open her eyes when her pseudo-father and sister found her and Justin just fifteen minutes after the missed phone calls.

“5021 Lincoln: Emergency! I need two ambulances to my current location now!” Erin said into her radio. But Sarah didn’t hear that. She didn’t even hear their strangled voices as they found her and Justin’s matching bullet holes. Or the muted relief when her pseudo-father found a pulse in both of them. No matter how faint.

“5021 LINCOLN: WHERE ARE THOSE AMBULANCES? I NEED THEM RIGHT NOW!”

She stirred slightly when they loaded her in the ambulance. As hands finally came to rest on her neck to slow the blood flow.  Erin’s stricken face floated into her hazy view. Her pseudo-big sister, her protector since she was five, looked as if she was about to cry. Sarah's eyes opened and shut again.

“Errr’n?” She tried to get the police detective’s attention, but it came out all slurred. Still, Erin looked down at the noise. The other woman tried to smile at the sight of Sarah awake, but even with everything so fuzzy to the curly-haired brunette woman she could tell Erin was sad. Why was she sad? Sarah wondered as a slow beeping filled the space between them.

Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…

“You’re going to be okay, Sarah?” Erin told her, but it sounded more like a question than a sentence. Another long blink. She wasn’t okay? Why wasn’t she okay? Tears were now sliding down the woman’s cheeks, “You have to be okay, Sarah!”

“O-” Sarah inhaled but it felt heavier to breathe than usual. Then just a few minutes ago actually. Her eyes slid shut.

…Beep…Beep…Beep…Beeeeeeep…

“SARAH!” Erin cried. But Sarah couldn’t hear her.

[LINE BREAK]  [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]

By a stroke of luck, Ava had been coming out of a treatment room, from checking in on a frequent flier (their LVAD liked to give them complications that couldn’t be helped) when Sarah Reese and Justin Voight were brought in.

“Maggie? What’s going on?” Ava questioned the charge nurse as the other woman charged forward in a jog. The charge nurse wore a wary look on her face that unnerved the blonde. With the phone pressed to her ear to let Ms. Goodwin know they were almost here and signaling another nurse to join her, Maggie told her, “We have two gunshot victims two minutes out: Sergeant Voight’s son and Reese.”

“Sarah?” The surgeon questioned, not sure she had heard right. Because she must’ve heard wrong. Or Maggie misspoke… But to her horror, the nurse nodded her head solemnly. Then she caught sight of Dr. Choi over Ava’s shoulder, “Dr. Choi! You’re up! Voight’s son. The ambulance is five minutes out.”

“Who’s taking Reese?” Ava wondered, with a glance around the ED. Everyone else was busy with other patients it seemed like.

“I’ve had Dr. Rhodes paged to take care of her,” Maggie explained. Then seeing Ava’s wide hazel eyes, “He’s one of the best trauma surgeons Chicago Med has to offer. Sarah’s one of us and deserves the best.”

Ava knew that. But Ava also knew Connor’s judgment would be clouded with it being Sarah in the hospital bed. He couldn’t be trusted to make the best choice in a hard situation, should it come to that. “Maggie, Rhodes can not do it.”

“I know with it being Reese, it'll be hard on anyone. She’s one of us. But-”

“Maggie, I caught them with their tongues down each other’s throats on the roof two months ago. Sarah and Connor are together.” The blonde shook her head, cutting the other woman off as she tried to make the charge nurse understand why Rhodes couldn’t take this case.

Realization dawned in Maggie’s brown eyes. “He can’t take her case.”

Ava was nodding her head in agreement just as the elevator dinged. The blonde turned her head just in time to see the doors open. Connor Rhodes strode forward with all the authority and experience that came with being a double-certified surgeon.

“I was paged? Something about an urgent trauma?” He questioned Maggie as he came closer to where she and Maggie stood by the bay doors. Without thinking about it, the blonde acted.

“No, that was a mistake. It’s my case now. I got it.” She told him firmly. Maybe she could get him back in the elevator and headed to someplace that wasn’t here before the ambulances arrived. Then she would tell him after when Sarah was…Ava didn’t know how to finish that thought because what if Sarah Reese wasn’t going to be okay?

But before her bleak thought could go any farther, Connor broke it with a raised eyebrow at her. “You don’t usually handle trauma.”

“I am today,” Ava countered, glancing back at Maggie who held up two fingers. Shit. Shit. Shit. They didn’t have time to have this conversation if the ambulances were only two minutes out.

“But it was my specialty for-”

“Rhodes, do yourself a favor and go back to the elevators before those ambulances get here.” Ava cut him off, jumping straight to the chase because they didn’t have the time for this. But like usual, Connor didn’t listen to her. He folded his arms over his chest.

“What? Why? What’s going on? Who’s coming in?” He asked in a tone full of suspicion. The blonde didn’t answer him or even try to come up with a lie. Instead, she was now attempting to push him back to the elevators.

“Connor, I mean it. Go.” But he still didn’t move. He never listened to her, even if it was for his own good.

“Dr. Bekker, they’re here!” Maggie called as the bay doors opened and the paramedics wheeled in the first victim. Hank Voight was right behind them.

“It’s my kids,” he told Maggie, emotion clear in his voice and Ava didn’t even know him that well but even she could hear it.

“I know. Sharon called,” Maggie nodded, listening to the paramedics as they gave her the rundown of vitals and what procedures had been done in the field, “Dr. Choi!”

“He and the other victim were found in the trunk of a car,” the paramedic explained. Meanwhile, for a split second, Connor stood confused. He didn’t know Hank Voight or his son very well. He didn’t even realize the police sergeant had kids…

Who was Ava trying to keep him from seeing? Then the second victim was rolled in with Erin Lindsay struggling to keep up.

“Sarah Reese,” the paramedic announced and instantly a sudden chill came over the ED at the name of one of their own. Every single doctor and nurse who could, turned and followed the gurney as it was rolled into the treatment bay. It seemed to move in slow motion.

But meanwhile, Connor felt like cold water had been thrown over him. That couldn’t be his Sarah in that gurney. She wasn’t answering her phone, but there had to be another reason why. Right?? She was just upset with him. That couldn’t be her. He just saw her just yesterday, but to his muted horror it was her. He had just caught sight of her curls, limp and matted to her forehead with dried blood as she was wheeled past him. “GSW to the side of her neck. GCS 5. Found unconscious at first. Lost a lot of blood. Gave her one unit in the field. Briefly regained some consciousness on the way over before she coded-”

Connor’s heart dropped as he felt himself stop breathing. Coded. Sarah’s heart had stopped working. The paramedic continued as they rotated her. “-Got her back to a sinus rhythm and bagged her the rest of the way over. There’s an entry wound but no exit wound we could find.”

The medic went on to call out her vitals. But the sound was replaced by the roaring in Connor's ears because that's when he finally caught sight of her. She looked nothing like the woman who had been sharing his bed for the last six months. She was so pale, almost translucent with the only color coming from the trauma pads attached to her neck. Bright, too bright red against her ghostly white-looking neck. The same neck he had loved on till an outline of his beard could be seen because it made her laugh, the night before last. Hell, even now he could see the faint outline of his beard now.

“Whoa, Connor. Easy.” Feeling his knees buckle, he almost fell if not for two pairs of hands that reached out to steady him. (Connor didn’t look back, because he couldn’t take his eyes off of Sarah. Afraid something would happen if he looked away. But it was the Halstead brothers that caught him and held him steady)

He tried to take a step forward into the trauma bay, to start working on her case. Sarah needed him. But a hand on his shoulder stopped him. Looking up, he saw a curtain of blonde hair as his partner in CT shook her head.

“Connor, I’ve got this. I've got her. I’m going to do everything I can.” Ava promised him quietly before she made her way into the treatment room. She addressed the support staff helping her, “Get the monitor up and going. As soon as we move her, I want her up on it. She’s already coded once. We’re going to try and not to let that happen again. April, page neurosurgery and schedule a head CT and a CT of her neck where the wound is at. But get x-Ray in here before that. I want to see a general picture of where the bullet is first and if it’s moving. Okay, transfer on my count. Nice and easy. That bullet could still be in there and we don’t want to jar it,”

“Oh god,” Erin Lindsay breathed, and a side glance told Connor that she looked as stricken as he felt. Her voice caught on her next words as she shuffled forward. Connor didn’t know the detective very well. They had only had a handful of conversations, but he had never heard her voice this shrill, this frantic before. “We-we didn’t find any casings! It still could be in her! Is Sarah going to be okay!? Is she breathing? She wasn’t in the ambulance! They had to breathe for her after her heart stopped!”

“Checking now,” Doris called out.

“Come on, we need to let them do their jobs,” Goodwin said, appearing in the ED. The last thing Connor saw before his boss pulled the curtains closed, was Sarah being moved from the gurney. 

“Get everyone back to the district. I want to know who did this to them.” Voight said to Detective Lindsay after he too was pulled away from his son’s room by Sharon’s insistence. His tone was low and his whole body was tense.

“Hank, we don’t-” the other woman started brokenly. She shook her head, “What if something happens? Sarah and Justin-”

“NOW!” The older man roared before he stalked off. There was a beat of silence then she started to follow after him, but Connor held out an arm to stop her.

“I’m sure Goodwin will keep Voight informed about his son. But I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here the whole time with her.” He promised. Because he couldn’t just go back to work. Not with Sarah…Not with her hurt like she was. “I’ll get your number from Will and call you with updates.”

“You?” Erin Lindsay had tears in her eyes, but she eyed him with suspicion. There was a beat of silence and then: “I knew Sarah had been seeing a guy she hadn’t told me about yet...But I didn’t think…”

(And she hadn’t told Connor about her past with Erin Lindsay either)

The slightest change?” Erin pressed and he nodded.

“The slightest change,” Connor confirmed, tone steady and serious because he might not know who Erin Lindsay was to Sarah. But from her reaction, Sarah was clearly important to her too.

“Thank you,” she said, before hurrying after the rest of her unit with Will’s younger brother following a step behind her. A hand at her back, steadying her when she stumbled as she glanced back at…Connor wasn’t sure if she was looking at him or trying to look through him to Sarah.

[LINE BREAK]  [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]

“You and Sarah?” Will prodded quietly, checking on his friend in between patients after Sarah had been rushed up to surgery. That had been over two hours ago. Yet Connor was still sitting here in the trauma bay she had been in, looking lost and Will didn’t know what to say to him. He didn’t know how to make it better. So the redhead settled on, “I didn’t know you two were a thing.”

A thing? A thing didn’t seem to cover what Sarah was to him.

Not when he knew just what filthy sweet nothings and exactly how to say them to get a moan out of her. Or a scream if she was really wound tight. Her back arched up to get any kind of friction she could. Not when he knew how she gave a little gasp before she saw stars. A tight inhale of air. How her nails raked down his back and she bit at his shoulder to muffle her cries of pleasure when she thought she was going to be loud enough for his neighbors to hear. (Under normal circumstances, there would be smug pride in him that she bit his shoulder quite often) Or how her skin would flush with pink when she saw the marks she had left that he didn’t dare let her apologize for. Not when his own love bites littered her skin in places only he got to see.

But it was more than just the sex too. It was how shocked she was that he was so insistent that she walked on the inside of him when they were on the sidewalk when they were coming back from or going somewhere. How his clothes swallowed her but she looked so damn gorgeous in them. It was how she chastised him for keeping it so cold in his apartment. It was how she moved in her sleep. She liked to call him the cuddly one, but she subconsciously wrapped herself around him like she was a koala bear. Or even full-on migrating so she was completely on top of him. Her ear somehow always found his heartbeat. It was how she talked in her sleep, letting him know what kind of dream she was having.

It was how she seemed to wait until he was wrapped around her and so warm in bed, about to drift off, to tell him she had to pee every. single. time.

It was how she wasn’t a morning person. But once she had her first cup of coffee, she danced around his apartment in the morning in nothing but his shirt and her underwear like she was the energizer bunny, usually using his smart speaker to play that same damn pop song (Leavin’ by Jesse McCartney his brain subconsciously supplied) after they had sex. (Though he never told her because he found it so damn amusing and he didn’t think Sarah even realized what she was doing.)  

How she thought out loud because she said it helped her work through things faster than when she remained quiet. How she seemed so surprised every single time he cooked or really did anything for her in a relationship aspect.

Or the conversations they had, especially afterward. They were never anything important, but he loved how soft and open she was post their lovemaking. The lazy kisses they exchanged. How she looked the first time he asked her to come back to bed or the first time he offered her a wash rag to clean herself up. Or when he offered to do it for her. (It was like it told Claire. It made him wonder what her past relationships were like before him that she was so in awe of things he thought were the bare minimum.)

So a thing didn’t scratch the surface of what Sarah was to him. But he couldn’t very well tell Will that. Especially not the parts about her in his bed. (He really wasn’t that kind of guy to do ‘locker room talk’) And they hadn’t put a label on it and that might’ve been Connor’s bad but what had started off as just sex had transformed into a full-blown relationship and he hadn’t been with anyone else in those six months either. He hadn’t wanted anyone else. So he told the redhead with a heavy sigh, “Yeah, we’ve been together for a while.”

“Do you know why she was found in the trunk with Voight’s son?”

Wasn’t that the million-dollar question buzzing through his mind right now? But Olive, Justin’s wife, while waiting for her husband to get x-rays done, had said that it wasn’t like that with them.

“I know my husband and sister-in-law. They grew up together. Like brother and sister. Sarah is Justin’s best friend. His person, but platonically. Whatever Justin and Sarah were doing when they were hurt, they weren’t together like that.”

She had said it with such conviction and certainty. Besides, Sarah hadn’t done anything to betray his trust like that before, so he had no reason not to believe Olive. With that in mind, instead of answering Will’s question, Connor shook his head and said, “I didn’t even know she and Erin Lindsay were close.”

His best friend gave him a puzzled look. Connor raised an eyebrow, “You did?”

“The first time Jay came in after Sarah started her rotation in the ED, he seemed familiar with her. Familiar enough that I asked if he was dating her. He laughed and said even if he even wanted to, Lindsay would have his balls in a vice grip, turning blue, and cut off before he could even attempt it. He didn’t go into much detail but he said that Sarah was Erin’s sister of sorts.”  Will told him with a shrug.

More questions and more answers he didn’t have.

[redxrose]

Our Cursed Love - A Chicago Med Fanfic!

(The Rhekker ship will be present here, as well as season 4 + 5 spoilers!)

After leaving Med, Connor was sure he'd be able to move on and forget the tragedies that happened there. But, he was wrong, and nothing he had learned during the course of his long life would prepare him for the trouble he would soon face. He started getting flashbacks (and nightmares!) He also had trouble concentrating, thoughts of her plaguing his mind. Ava Bekker, Connor's colleague, friend, and ex-girlfriend, had committed suicide during Connor's last year at Med. She also killed his father, which he never forgave her for, especially because she never told him! But, even with all his hatred and grief, Connor found himself missing Ava, and it caused him a lot of guilt and confusion. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wanted Ava to be alive, he wanted to talk to her, for answers at least. This desire would remain a childish wish for Connor, until one fateful day. Back in Chicago, one piece of news would circulate through the neighborhood, the name of a very experienced surgeon, one that had been forgotten - became the most popular in the city. Connor's phone had been flooded with calls, texts, even emails, from his former colleagues, supervisors, and even some old friends. After carefully examining each notification on his lock screen, Connor paused and held his breath, unable to concentrate. The news flooded his mind, along with anxiety, regret, and excitement, as he returned to the hospital he thought he left for good. Upon arriving at Med, Connor was immediately burdened by questions, concerns, and greetings from everyone he left behind, and although he didn't mind, he was looking for someone else. Alas, the surgeon made his way upstairs to the surgical suite. There stood Doctor Latham, who looked eager to see his friend after all this time. Connor opened his mouth to speak, but immediately fell silent upon seeing who was standing next to him. "Hello Connor, long time no see, huh?" Ava said with a welcoming smile on her face, a smile Connor knew all too well. Even then, he always found himself falling for it. "Yeah.." Not even the obvious skepticism in his voice could keep her away. He couldn't walk away yet, he had so many unanswered questions. But this open hallway was no place to ask them, Doctor Latham's blank stare made that blatantly obvious. "Hey Ava, can I talk to you..?" Connor asked, sounding serious, maybe even tense. Ava's eyes seemed to light up when he spoke, and it made Connor uneasy. "Sure, let's go over here" Ava said politely while gesturing to a room nearby. Connor followed, remembering how much he used to love her accent. After entering the small room, Connor closed the door and turned to face Ava, who looked oddly confident. With memories of the past flooding both their minds, Ava looked at the floor and Connor sighed, prepared to say what he felt was necessary. "Why..?" He asked, breaking the awkward silence, the tension in his voice was obvious. Ava's head jerked up, a confused yet aware expression forming on her face. "What?" She asked, the realization hitting her slower than Connor expected. How could she not remember? The rage he felt made Connor want to scream, but his train of thought was interrupted by Ava's deep sigh, the memories had finally gotten to her. "Well, if you had seen things my way, that wouldn't have happened" she said with such arrogance, arrogance Connor almost forgot about. She hadn't changed, Connor knew that now. "Ava, you gave my father insulin that he didn't need, you caused his death! Please enlighten me on how I'm supposed to "see things your way!" Connor yelled, his emotions starting to control him. "I did it for you, Connor!" Ava yelled, tears filling her brown eyes. Connor didn't believe her, but for some reason, he wanted to. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop himself from loving her, even if this love could be cursed..cursed enough to KILL.

[gregorygerwitz]

For your pride month questions!! :

How did Jay come out to will? When was it? Did will aldready suspect it a little? How did he take it? Did will ever go to a pride parade/any celebration with jay? Who's the first boyfriend that will has met? 💞💞(ily)

Yes, more pride month questions!

I've kept my idea about how Jay comes out to Will kinda vague, but the idea of them just sitting down for drinks somewhere and chatting about it casually has really grown on me, and I kind of love it? Because it really doesn't have to be this big deal, not with his brother. It's not a big event, it's just a normal night, just a normal conversation, just drinks and chatting and brotherly bonding.

I don't know, exactly, when they sit down to talk about it. It's definitely after Will moves home to Chicago, because I definitely headcanon that Jay didn't even know he was bi until the sex club undercover night in season 2. It's some time between when Will moves home and when Erin leaves for New York, I think, somewhere in that two year period, but I don't have a specific point in mind. My brain is leaning toward between PD s2 and s3? But again, nothing specific set in stone in my headcanons right now.

Will was definitely still deeply in denial about himself at that point, so it didn't occur to him that Jay could be queer at all, let alone comfortable enough to say it and come out, especially so casually. But he's supportive, of course - Jay is his brother and his family and even if he wasn't going through his own crisis he would love him and support him through everything, especially something like this.

I think it would take a while, at least a year or two, because Will would be comfortable enough with himself to go to a pride event, but he does go, and he has fun, so it turns into a little tradition when he can get a full weekend off. (I've thought of the mental image of Will, and Jay, and Mouse, and Connor, and Ava in one AU in particular, going to pride together many times, and it makes me so happy they all deserve good things)

I'm going to be on my Moustead bullshit for this last bit I'm sorry

The first boyfriend of Jay's that Will met was Mouse - both in the sense that he met Mouse years before they got together, when their relationship was still solely platonic, and he was the first guy that Jay introduced to Will as his boyfriend. And of course Will is supportive of this, as long as they're happy, but he is also a Big Brother™ so he teases Jay about all of it. Constantly. Affectionately but also in the most annoy ways possible.

Thanks so much for these questions, they were fun to think about! 💜

[sextonsharpwinhalstead]

Sorry girl, the last ask, well, really a comment complimenting your writing, was me. There was some type of glitch; the box was blank on my account, then I switched it to anon to see the same problem. I refreshed the page and forgot to change it back.

I can't help but see Crockett as a slimy playboy. I didn't read the writer's/showrunners' explanation. But I did watch an interview with the actor, and he was asked about Natalie v. April, and he said the character would go with Natalie. "April was an itch he needed to scratch," but he'd take the blame for the kiss instead of putting it on her. I am sure that note came directly from the writers. Rewatching the scenes, he just comes off as smug, and he enjoyed toying with her. That's not fun to see in real life, and it's gross on tv too. Now we can say maybe it was payback because he really liked her, and she chose Ethan, but still, eww. Then Natalie checks him, only for them to suddenly write him as some misunderstood guy with a tough past and a good heart, and Natalie is all about him. I hate when they do stuff like that. But April gets offered that stupid Sazarac or whatever it was that he offered all his conquests. I haven't liked his character since. I kinda wanted Choi to punch him 2 more times. Want to go there, then really go there. Make the whole ED uncomfortable with the tension. Like it'd be in real life. But no, Ethan quickly apologized to Ms. Goodwin, shed tears, and even sort of mended fences with Marcel which I thought was too quick, while Rhodes and Halstead were allowed to be angry for much longer about things which I thought was also interesting.

No worries! Lol

Everything after their kiss was GARBAGE. I hated it and wanted to scream the entire time. For me there was something really yucky about the way they executed both stories. There are parallels with both Mancel and Sexcel. Including both women challenging the facade he had. They just went a different route with him and April, one that didn't have to be executed like that even if they knew it was a going to cause a problem. They could've sunk their teeth into it but didn't. Because ultimately they didn't see her character as worthy of that storytelling.

Natalie and Crockett gave me the ick. Always have and always will. But Natalie seems attracted to deceit so...

They really oversold his so called blasé attitude and it began to border on egotistical when it came to April. It was overdone and the thing I have always taken away from it is that his ego was bruised when he found out she was with Ethan. She swerved him the first time he tried to be overly chummy and he worked on her for WEEKS. At any point Med could've wrote that he was seeing multiple women and she was going to just be another notch but they didn't and it is why his behavior after they kissed was so horrid. The closest we get to regret over his actions is at the wedding. And even then it's summed up with some raggedy lines from Natalie.

"You hit on April?"

Like no, he let April kiss him AFTER he knew she was in a relationship with Ethan. He was hitting on her BEFORE he knew she was in a relationship. Natalie knew that but they had her saying that waterdown line so they could pair the two without them looking more trife than they both were. Just ugh.

And it seemed like he was finally changing and then the mother/daughter nonsensd happened and I had to tap out at that point.

And yeah you're right. The way Med felt like Connor's playground because of his families money and how damn near every season Will is breaking the law and bringing drama into the ED but I can barely remember Connor apologizing for anything. Like when he punched his father at a hospital fundraiser. Just to end up loud AND wrong about Ava. Ethan on the other hand is the one Maggie ALWAYS calls on to de-escalate a fight, the one who set up triage when the mass shooting happened, the one who has taken all the interns under his wing and created harmony in the ED when its chaotic. I think that's why he was so upset. He brought all the violence into the ED and it rattled his integrity among the staff. It was sad. The other doctors are too egotistical, they wouldn't be crying.

[justanotheronechicagofan]

I’m not caught up w the last three episodes but I know people are coming up with theories and 👀

This isn’t even a theory, it’s just what I want to see happen

Natalie’s mom to be okay and for Natalie to decide to move back to Seattle with Owen

April to leave Med to pursue med school / another form of education. So that she can have a career that gives her more say, responsibility and respect for herself and her patients.

Have the new cast members be women And maybe?? Get ma girl Foster back at Med!!!

Also Connor cause I miss my mans OKAY??

Here’s why

Even from season 1, April’s been shown not only as being more than capable than what she is currently doing but that she wants more. (Severide even pointed out that she was the one that wanted med school.) 

We know she’s got the courage and will power to make it happen!! Not only have we seen all the lengths she has gone to save patients, she saved up money and travelled the world. That’s a thing a lot of people say they’ll do but never actually do it. The level of commitment it takes to save up and just go for it? a LOT.

For both Natalie and April, I want an open ended but more importantly, a happy ending. All the main cast member goodbyes we’ve had in the past (Sarah, Ava, Connor) have all been sad and overall something that the characters didn’t deserve!! These two women have gone through so much I just want their departure from their second family to be one that’s bittersweet and hopeful.

Lastly, I want the big shoes that these ladies have left behind to be filled with WOMEN. We all know med sucks the most out of oc at writing female characters. Give me well rounded and well thought out women!!! Gimme female friendship!!! Okay y’all im sorry but i get tired of these men mkay. Writers you’ve got a great chance, please don’t ruin it

Okay and can I just say, WOAH. The OC writers really just said, were giving them Upstead, Brettsey, possible Stellaride engagement and a goodbye to Natalie AND APRIL all in one season / FINALE???? dick wolf does not play!!!

[crockettmarcel]

4, 9, 10, 22 for Med asks 🩺

4. Ava Bekker or Sarah Reese?

as much as i love ava,, sarah always wins 😌 maybe i lowkey kin her

9. Most loved character in the series?

same as last one,, sarah’s my baby <3 but crockett and ava are close second tbh

10. Favourite recurring character?

Abrams, hands down. he’s funnier in one line than the rest of the characters are in a whole season (but also I’ll always have a soft spot for Latham,, absolute king)

22. Most overrated character of the series?

Will. he may be a good diagnostician but that’s about all he’s got going for him. he cares more about his views than respecting his patients wishes, has literally committed malpractice, (although who hasn’t in that hospital tbh), and don’t get me started on the whole manstead mess (i know that was just as much her as it was him, but this is about why he sucks ajdhsjkjsdk)

also this may just be because i’m a lesbian but everyone thirsts over him and i’m like?? sarah and ava and april are right there? crockett?? even connor???

(also also. i’m automatically biased against him because he’s the reason so many pd fics are tagged as med - the writers put will in the fics bc he’s jay’s brother and then clog up the med tag with an upstead fic that features will for two paragraphs. yes i’m mad)

chicago med asks

[momowoah]

There's still two (six?) released seasons of One Chicago left for me to watch but it's all I think about like

Fire

I loved Casey and Dawson and the moment they get back together was one of my favorites on the show but they never really worked out and I also loved that scene with Welch telling Gabby about that guy's wife and Casey

That being said... watching Matt falling in love with Sylvie was even better

Hailee was also amazing

Severide. Just... Severide

When I discovered that Stella would join the show and become according to Wikia "the love of his (Severide) life" I didn't really believe it but bro. Bro. I love them. Their scene at the S7 finale???? The way he looks at her when they aren't even together???? Love them.

I loved Chili, wish she lasted longer

I knew Joe got married in s8/s9 so when Chloe went to the firehouse I immediately realized she was his future wife and like. I love that scene. It's such a small thing but I love it.

Capp is hilarious

I just watched the first season without Dawson and literally everything reminded me of her. Everytime someone needed to be intubated or a firefighter interacted with a child I immediately thought of her. She left such a mark on this show.

PD

When I watched Chicago Fire s1 I hated Voight, and I didn't think this would change. Now he's in my top 3 characters of the whole show.

I love the dynamic of the main characters. We have Erin and Al who follow Voight no matter what, Jay who is always suspecting him but in the end is basically his right arm, Ruzek who's like a mini-Voight in the making, Burgess who's also like Voight but can also survive literally any life-and-death situation by herself (or so we hope), Antonio who trusts Voight but also tries his best to follow the rules, Hailey who follows Jay over Voight and tries not to be like him but trusts him just like everyone else, and Atwater who's basically everyone's friend and follows the team no matter what. This is why PD became my favorite show in One Chicago.

Burgess and Ruzek. Didn't really like them at the start (bc he was engaged) but now they're everything

Erin and Voight's relationship, the reason why I will always love the first 4 seasons more (the relationship between the actors kinda ruined it for me tho)

Med

I love Manstead but it's annoying. They like each other since the first season but keep making excuses and dating other people like are you gonna date or not? And then they break up for like a year or two and get back together again. Annoying.

Similarly, we also have Ethan and April being on and off

And then we have Rhekker which was a great relationship... Until he discovered she slept with his father. And then, when he was about to give her a second chance, she killed his father. I hate their ending.

Ava Bekker was a brilliant person and an amazing surgeon and she would not throw it all away bc of a guy. I actually don't mind she dying but the reasoning is awful. The whole situation could be way better had they just made Connor realize he really was making up things about her in his head and having Cornelius be murdered by a random person who hated him instead. Even if she ended up k herself bc of any other reason it would be so much better. I don't need a happy ending for her, I just wanted a decent one.

I loved Reese and I wished she lasted longer

Can people in this show please develop bc they either stay the same or just have a complete personality change

Maggie and Sharon completely saved this show lol

Justice

I liked Valdez but she's literally the only character who's name I remember.

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#5)

S3 e3: Trust Your Gut. From what I remember this is a big one. I just remember this episode title honestly but we’ll see what happens.

-look at that! ava’s just casually in this scene, minding her own business, doing her job! you would never guess that this is a character who would later have a psychotic break and commit suicide.

-that’s really the point i’m trying to make. I hate all those posts where they’re like ‘i hated ava before, but season 4 has finally shown her true colors’ like not even?? no??? we’re trying to prove that that was never even a thing. i want to eliminate the possibility of s4 happening from your minds. nothing from s3 should ever be used as foreshadowing. that’s what the rewrite is about, ava being a good character. ava was never going to commit suicide. she was never gonna go psychotic. that should be ingrained in everyone’s minds.

-anyways, back to the episode.

-connor takes everything like a personal attack. relax

- i never realized how fun stoll was. like obviously not in the story but as a character he’s hilarious. unattached by everyone else’s drama

-awww. this maggie interaction is amazing. tapping sarah on the shoulder (neck actually but whatever) just to say hi. adorable. and sarah is already super jumpy. come on. her anxiety is already setting in. they really gave sarah two huge storylines in the same season.

-maggie... no one else would ever slash sarah’s tires. i mean honestly

-WHY DOES CONNOR HAVE TO CONTROL OF EVERYTHING - honestly ava was just reading off the chart and he can’t even let her do that he has to take over just to say the same things.

-and the way ava just takes it with her smug smile

-she is such a strong character there is no reason she would have gone crazy over connor she literally needs nothing from him.he has not ever had anything that she needed. 

- SHE’S JUST ROLLING HER EYES, SMIRKING, AND SHAKING HER HEAD AT THIS INSECURE MAN ava I love you.

-okay there’s no way i can explain it but after rolling her eyes at connor Ava turns and looks at the patient and instantly her face changes and you can see such pure concern in her eyes?? s4 ava could never (can someone please rb with a picture of what i’m talking about? it’s uncanny and so so sincere.)

- she’s in control of her emotions. she cares so much for her patients so don’t even try to play that card. the only thing connor has done literally since she got here is get in her way.

-AND CONNOR LOOKS AT HER WITH SUCH DISTRUST AND CONTEMPT. TELL ME HOW. this is insane. exasperating.

-and the way she smiles and comforts the patient. i mean come on. she’s just so amazing. AND COMFORTING. if ava really was as heartless as people say, she wouldn’t take the effort to do that. connor didn’t even do that, he just scowls at ava.

-which just proves my point, ava is only ever mean to people who she thinks deserve it. and, the more that I think about it, she’s never really actually mean. sure, she’s blunt and rude, but never cutting. she’s nice to her patients (and I know what you’re going to say, it’s not because she has to be. she’s a doctor, she still wants to help people). but when her patients are dicks, she’s not nice to them. she’s as snarky with as she’s professionally allowed to be.

-like, take this guy. he seems nice enough. he’s funny, polite, comes across charming, so ava is nice and is polite back to him.

-let’s move on.

-why is connor always so suspicious of ava. come on. he’s the one who should be sus. she literally said ‘Don’t worry, Ray, we’ll take good care of you’ and he’s giving her this weird side eye.

-ethan and will being in this board meeting is really adorable to me. like, just, bros.

-oh godddd sarah please relax. sweetie. please.

-sarah fucking tranqed him oh my god

-oh my god noah asking people for help literally shut the fuck up

-straight people are gross. not to hate but how does anyone sit through manstead

-connor literally needs to chill. I know this bit (they’re arguing over menial things in surgery) plays more to them just picking on each other, pulling each other’s pigtails on the playground if you will (i didn’t like that analogy but I used it anyway), but if you look at it, ava was only trying to help connor (suggesting a wider possible target and an easier to handle stitch) and connor took it wayyy to personally. sure the second bit of advise is just poking at him, but she suggested a better spot on the base and he shut her down without any thought.

-and then latham points out that there is no point in arguing, to which ava defers, then connor snidely says ‘Thank you, Doctor, Now, how about from here on out we keep the background noise to a minimum’ and ava just shakes her head, scoffing.

-at this point ava just likes annoying connor because its fun. it’s entertaining. he gets so upset. everyone’s done that, just be annoying for fun (its bad to say but i mean come on everyones done it)

-another point, ava immediately deferring to latham might read to some as her being a suck up but that’s not what it is.

-ava really likes seeing how close to the line she can get. she goes right up to it, but she never crosses it. the same is true with her interactions with other people outside of surgery.

-I really like this story of the girl who passed out and hit her head, and her brother’s a wreck, and her parents obviously think the brother’s a disappointment. and it was finals week so of course she wasn’t taking care of herself. and the brother knew that, and you can tell he cares so much and feels so bad. it’s nice

-complication on the surgery they were working on. ava comes in with a solution (off of connor’s mistake during surgery after not following her advice) but I have a sneaking suspicion that by the end connor will be back on top

-the effort it took connor to say ‘it’s a good idea’ come on man just fucking let it go

-i’m glad we’ve all agreed that connor’s just a dick

-aw look at that she even held the door for him. connor would never

-i don’t want to overly push the ‘med is sexist’ thing but how is it that in a storyline between nat and ethan, characters who have never been romantically involved, they still pull the woman thinks one thing, man refuses to believe it and is right dynamic. i mean come on med seriously. what the fuck is wrong with you.

-the look of annoyance and disbelief on ava’s face that connor hadn’t actually messed up. comedic, but also i get your pain.

-glad that latham sides with ava, ava advocating for a riskier procedure so they could ensure the blockage is removed)

-(something could be said about ava’s high-risk, high-reward ideals. you could even draw the parallel to events in s4 and s5, even though I really don’t want to. it’s an interesting and notable character trait to say the least)

-YOOOO I FORGOT HOW METAL THE PSYCH STORY GETS

-dude straight up cuts his abdomen open and his intestines spill out

-the fear and shock and emotion on sarah’s face make me feel so bad for her

-WAIT IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE SHE LOSES THE END OF THE INSTRUMENT? IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? i am not prepared to watch an ava bekker breakdown rn.

-the shock on ava’s face when connor said nice job.

-ava actually tried to apologize to connor. well, not apologize but she feels a little bit bad for just how abrasive she’s been to connor. (connor didn’t necessarily have to make it super competitive). Ava said “Look, I know i have the tendency to step on toes. it’s nothing personal”

-and now they’re not arguing and are this close to actually working like a team

-and i cannot believe connor’s big one-liner is ‘Murphy’s law’

-the emotion on april’s face when the girl’s parents won’t even let her brother grieve for her. I feel it. astounding. its so painful omg

-ava: “your optimism is enchanting.” when i was writing earlier I was worried I wasn’t being accurate with her dialogue and making it sound too overly formal but i guess I nailed it. also, this line reinforces how much I love her (so does every other line)

-connor just refusing to give ava anything, no credit, no nothing. doesn’t even give her credit for earning the surgery saying “you may have elbowed your way onto the case, but he is still my patient” (I JUST TRANSITIONED INTO A QUOTE SO SMOOTHLY WHY CANT I DO THAT IN MY LANG RHETORICAL ANALYSIS ESSAYS YOU’RE KIDDING)

-hey it’s joey!

- i can appreciate him so much more when he’s not chasing after reese

-do you remember their first meeting? bickering over who gets the last splenda? (real meet cute amirite)

-dr. charles remarking how all the scientific advances can’t beat human instinct, nice little tie in to the episode title

-ava just smiling while connor waits for her to apologize. she. takes. no. shit.

-i literally hate connor’s face so much. it fucking looks predatory like stop looking at her like that. it’s almost like you were planning her psychotic break

-ava’s cunning, saying ‘we’ instead of ‘i’ when talking about the decisions being made. she’s smart. she knows what to do. She knows how to present herself. (and yeah, a little hypocritical that she said to connor ‘when you fail, I will make sure that it is noted that it was your fault and not mine,’ but like I said, she just knows how to present herself)

-latham: “Dr. Bekker seems to enjoy this discordance.”

-rhodes’ face when changing his mind and saying ‘maybe I do’ when asked if he enjoyed it too - he literally makes the dumbest faces. please. stop. (is it a straight people thing?)

Alright. Another episode down. 17 to go. This was actually a pretty good episode all around. Ava took none of connor’s shit and you’d have to squint to find any sort of romantic subtext in their interactions, which is huge win in my book. reese’s storyline wasn’t too bad, she didn’t go through too much trauma, which, the bar for watching med is incredibly low i guess. This was a really good episode for ava. like I said before, very little romantic subtext, and she had a redeeming quality in the way she obviously cared for her patient at the beginning of the episode.

The main point is something I’ve been reiterating again and again. Ava cares about her patients. Ava is mean to connor because she knows someone needs to put him in his place, and she is glad that it is her.

All in all, this was a pretty good Ava episode. Very happy.

thanks for sticking with it.

-

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

[janelevy]

I get the feeling that Goodwin's gonna get a lot of videocalls about Ethan's actions in the future. [Did they forget his actions with Crockett last season?] Honesty Med has started to go down hill in S4.

poor sharon is gonna be so overwhelmed lol. i’m not sure how much things are gonna change with ethan in charge now, but i don’t wanna condemn him just yet. we’ll just have to see! it’s definitely an interesting development.

totally with you on the going downhill part. i’m hoping the introduction of crockett will keep this ship afloat, because he’s definitely the one i am most invested in atm. nothing has been the same since they threw ava’s character into the garbage disposal, and losing characters like sarah (a down to earth sweetheart who we deserved to know much more about) and connor (a fan favorite who also lost a lot of his good character through the ava plot line) has not helped matters. they need to do better with the characters who are still on the show, but i’m not counting on it.

[orarewedancer]

One Chicago Premieres

Med

I’m so sad that Connor is leaving. He was one of the best parts about this show. Also who pitched this whole Ava going crazy storyline and why did the rest of the writers etc think it was a good idea? What a mess.

This whole Natalie storyline is so wrong and I don’t know how they’re gonna do it but she better not end up getting trapped into marrying this creep...

Can Will please move on now?! Please?! I’m fed up with the Manstead mess.

I don’t care about Ethan and April. At all. They annoy me.

Fire

Can stellaride please stay this happy? They’ve had drama. Just leave them be now I don’t care if it doesn’t make for good tv.

Casey😢

Brett’s storyline is either going to resolve really quickly and she’ll be back in Chicago in no time OR it’s going to turn into a domestic abuse storyline. I’m not sure which way it’s gonna go yet but they’re my theories

My wish is for Brett and Casey to just get together and be happy but it’s not gonna happen any time soon. Here for the long haul!

“Brother, I’ll be with you. Always.” 😭😭

This show has a knack for making me sob.

P.D.

So what is the deal with Antonio? Is he just gone? Will he be back for one last episode or is this an Erin situation again?

I love Kevin.

Voight needs to learn how to communicate with Jay. One second he tells him to prepare to take over the unit and the next he’s keeping secrets and then blowing up at him for using his initiative?!

Jay and Hailey’s partnership is just 👌 but also hurry up and get together already

They gonna get Adam his badge back quickly or what cause I feel like they can’t drag this out?

Low-key thought Hailey might have been the one that shot whats-his-face cause where was she when this was all going down? Not surprised it was the blonde wifey though (I can’t remember their names🤷‍♀️)

I do love how Voight protects his unit. They are his family and he’ll always have their backs. God, I remember hating this dude in Season 1 of Fire. How times have changed.

I’m so glad One Chicago is back! I still hate having to wait a week for the next episodes tho...

[fuckyeahkillianemma]

Hey, guys! Here another rhekker video that took me weeks to decide to do it and i know i'm late for the "let's do a sad video with Ava's death" but the truth is that I didn't plan to make a video with the last episode, in fact, I was ignoring the last episode completely, but I remembered this song and couldn't stop thinking about this stupid idea, so i decide to do it bc CM gave Ava a shitty death (as if it wasn't enough to give her a shitty plot during season 4, they also decided to ruin her even more with a completely wrong and offensive death), morons! Whatever, CM kill Ava in the end so i decide to make her death a little bit more "pretty" and i say -"pretty"- bc in the end she is dead so it's not pretty at all.

Tho, it's kinda better bc in CM they just killed her and her character end up as a murderous psycho woman. No a pretty scene at the end with a funeral, or someone remembering all the positive things and missing her. So, this is my version of Ava's death. I completely ignore the suicide scene, and let's just pretend that she died for an accident... and in the end Connor would miss her, and remember everything good he lived with the woman he loves, a brilliant surgeon, intelligent (innocent of everything), not crazy, not murderous... Denial who? tho, I don't call it denial, I called it: No-thanks to the inconsistent shit of MED

- forgive the book that i write. Also: The video is shitty, like is not my best video, but i really didn’t want to do it, is like just tons of scenes together LOL!

[cupidmarwani-archive]

The Rehabilitation of Ava Bekker (3/12)

Within a couple hours, Robin has shown Ava everything necessary. She’s seen the chickens and how to take their eggs. She’s met the cats and dogs. She’s gone to the long building full of smelly pigs and learned how to feed them. She’s been showed how to pick corn and shuck it. She’s found the hose for watering things. She’s explored the shed. Starting today, she’s in charge of digging the holes to plant rows of apple saplings. It’s a bit wet up here for apples, but Robin wants to start an orchard, and apples are the first step. Robin lent her gloves to protect her hands from the rough handle of the shovel because, honestly, Ava’s hands are not made for this work. They’re soft and slender, the hands of precision and art. Not grunt work. But she digs, careful and measured, until the hole is the right depth to pull a sapling out of its pot and place it.

Kneeling in the soil, she’s as intensely focused as she was at her old job on giving this little apple tree its place in the earth. Ava places it meticulously, repacks the dirt carefully around it and gives her a sense of accomplishment. This sapling has a chance. But there are still dozens more whose holes she must dig and roots must be spread. It’ll take forever.

This is what she gets for separating herself from Connor. She had tried so hard to help him understand her and love her like she loved him. Now this is some sort of purgatory, where she’s safe at last but the farthest thing from loved, and nowhere near any kind of peace. Out here, it’s just her and Robin, who has taken up residence making bread tainted with the flavorful spoils of the little garden by the porch. Ripe red tomatoes, fresh rosemary, and plants Ava can’t identify grow in their small patch and, from them, Robin sustains herself. Now that patch will sustain Ava, too. 

She’s glad for the trucker hat purchased at the mall, bearing the emblem of a lady’s silhouette, to keep the sun off her face, but it does little for her neck and arms. She’s frying in the sun, and she’s certain her palms have blistered with the work of the shovel after only digging one hole. There’s so many more to go.

Wiping the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand, she presses on to the scent of sourdough and other things rising out the kitchen window. It’s a couple hundred feet away, and open to allow hot air to aid in proofing. For this purpose, Robin’s turned off the AC unit downstairs which, combined with the heat, will make the house less than pleasant when Ava comes in after her work is done.

She initially arrived just after lunch, calling to attention how hungry she is. She had dinner at the motel last night, and coffee and a danish for breakfast this morning. But she didn’t have lunch, and she also didn’t think to buy a water bottle. Some combination of the two is giving her a nasty headache to compete with every pain in the rest of her body.

It wouldn’t be difficult to pop inside for a glass of water and a snack. She doesn’t think it would make Robin upset. But it would be an admission of a mistake, and Ava’s so new that she worries the misstep will have her sent off in her truck again, perhaps without anywhere to go this time around. It’ll be just her and her picture of Connor again. 

Would that really be so bad?

As she breaks ground on the next hole, she wonders how long it’ll take the apple trees to begin blossoming. And how soon after that they’ll provide fresh apples to explode tart in her mouth. Maybe she and Robin can make pie, cooling on the windowsill while cats wind around their feet and concoct plans to get to the dessert.

Ava’s always kind of wanted a cat.

She digs the shovel into the ground and steps on it for good measure, scooping as  much dirt as she can in each round so she won’t have to do as many. Already her boots are caked with dirt, no longer clean, and she can picture tracking the particles inside and having to sweep after herself. The farmhouse is clean, she knows, and the dirt would be so obvious. She doesn’t like dirt. But it layers over her at the moment, and cleaning it off at the moment is useless.

Digging and digging, as the sky slowly goes from its crisp blue to an ugly yellow like straw, no clouds and no perfect angle to give it a beautiful color worth staring at. By the sun’s last call, she’s only managed a handful of trees, she’s exhausted, achy and hungry, and she doesn’t know if she’s meant to keep working until she accomplishes the task. Her deep breath fills her with more than just the allure of bread, but of chicken and onions and other things that turn sharp in the back of her throat and make her mouth water. She wants to eat. Is any of the food for her?

As she’s thinking, she hears Robin’s voice ripping through the still air. “You can finish that tomorrow, come eat!”

Ava’s beyond relieved and has to make a conscious effort not to just drop the shovel as opposed to leaning it up against the side of the house. She takes her boots off at the door, leaving them next to Robin’s. The house is cool again. Refreshing. She finds her way to the kitchen where the small table is already set for two. Across from Robin’s seat must be Ava’s, with a tall glass of water and a pitcher in front of it. A barrier between her and the meal. Chicken breast seasoned and laid out, veggies sliced into sandwich size, and clearly home-baked buns. Sandwiches. It’s something Connor had hated, insistent that he didn’t want bread and chicken in the same bite. If he were here, he’d eat everything separately and tease her light-heartedly for her choices.

“I didn’t see you with a water bottle, so you’re probably dehydrated. You should drink.”

Ava nods and, with the first sip of water, realizes Robin is right. Her throat was dry, and the water feels like a soothing balm applied over every inch of the inside of her body. Her arms are pink, her hands pale, when she reaches for a bun before realizing she should wash her hands. They’re gross. She’s gross. A shower is definitely in order.

“Do you not have sunscreen?” Robin asks, and it’s a jest bordering on the affectionate tone Ava misses so badly. “You got a little burned.”

“I forgot to apply.”

She sits back down and serves herself. The first bite is so much better than anything she had in Chicago. It must be because of how fresh it is. Unpreserved, unprocessed. It is real, real like the chasm in her chest and the photo of Connor still hidden away. After they eat, she’ll probably bring her things inside and put them in whatever room Robin allows her. 

Robin takes the pitcher and refills her own glass. Fingerprints are left behind on the plastic as she eats her own meal. “I have an aloe plant upstairs, I’ll get you some to help with the burn.”

“Thanks.”

“Sure.”

Once Ava finishes her first sandwich, she’s still hungry and wishes she could have more. As she imagines it wistfully, staring at her plate, Robin nudges the buns toward her. “You know, you can have as much as you want.”

As much as she wants is a dangerous permission, but this time, it doesn’t feel like it. It feels kind, as Ava happily fixes herself another sandwich and buries herself in its taste.

-

@sapphiccsharks @bipeteypie @bookreader525 @lovxies

[onechicago-upsteadrhekker]

Chicago Med, You Disappoint Me

I officially hate the writers. Like...I really, really, really don’t like them because...what was that Finale? Seriously? Like, WHAT HAPPENED?? I wasn’t even expecting Connor and Ava to kiss and make or anything like that but what I was expecting were answers to questions I’ve had SINCE THE FIRST EPISODE!!! But no, I don’t get that. I don’t know what’s happening. At this point, I’m doubting everything that’s happened over the last season, except for the first part. That was wonderful! I mean, I thought Colin and Norma were unjustly fired so I don’t know how the writers are going to clean up the mess they’ve created. I have no expectations for season 5; I could care less at this point.

Here is my stand: Ava and Connor will always be awesome, inspiring, incredible, caring surgeons and all around great people in my eyes. I will accept pretty much everything up until 4x11 and then I will ignore what happened to Rhekker and instead write fanfics entitled Season 4 Fix-it’s where things are hard but Rhekker actually have conversations and stay together like adults. They will not be childish or accused of being crazy and or psychotic and or a murderer.

Because they are both adults and professionals and Ava did not deserve that storyline and neither did Connor!

I also feel free to come up with my own idea of what happened between Connor’s dad and Ava since we did not get that resolution...Stay tuned for that fic!

Bottom line: Ava will always be my favorite character who is kind and compassionate if not a little harsh at times. And I will always love Connor, no matter how idiotic he has been. And finally, I will always ship Rhekker. They will always have a prosperous future together as they save lives together through my writing! Long live #rhekker

If you share the same opinion, please hop on board and be ready to read a lot of Rhekker fanfics coming your way! I don’t know about you but they help me cope.

Comment below if there is anything you wish to see in Rhekker’s relationship that we did not receive (I realize that is a lot but I’m fully prepared. I’m a little obsessed with them right now)

WE LOVE YOU CONNOR AND AVA!!!!

[iseultofireland]

How do you think they will write off Ava & Connor? I’m nervous because judging by their last few Instagram posts, it seems like Norma and Colin didn’t found out they were leaving until after they finished filming! So maybe they haven’t filmed a proper exit 😩 anyway I’m happy to see you plan on continuing to write, you are a very talented writer and I love your stories! ❤️

I’m also worried about this! I think it’s pretty clear that Norma and Colin are leaving because Jesse and Taylor asked for a pay raise in order to sign on for two more seasons of CF, and they had to make budget cuts somewhere. No one was expecting this. They probably didn’t film a proper ending for the characters because, at that point, the writers weren’t planning on the actors leaving. Ugh this whole situation makes me so angry because this is such a shitty way to treat your actors, but I digress.

In a perfect world, they’d fix the mess of a storyline they’ve given Ava this season and show that nothing Connor accused her of was true. And somehow leave the door open for them to get together again in the future, after they’ve worked out their issues.

But honestly I don’t think their exit will feel like an exit this season. As you said, they’d already finished shooting when they found out they were leaving, so I expect that we won’t see any conclusive ending this season and they’ll just disappear in season 5. In 5x01 the writers will probably write in some half-assed explanation as to what happened to Ava and Connor, like they did with Sarah. Then everything will go back to normal as if they’d never existed. That’s what I think will happen, and I think it’s a very sucky goodbye to these characters.

And thank you! I’m glad to hear you enjoy my stories!