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im-sleepdeprived · 4 months ago

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Seasonal • Pt. 4

pairing: peter parker x reader

summary: inspired by the taylor swift song ‘peter’ where you and peter discover just how hard it is to hold on to something from your past, no mater how much you love each other

a/n: you guys i hate it here, like i actually just want them to make out already, also to the person who commented a couple chapters ago saying they wanted to see peter’s pov, this is for u

warnings: awful descriptions of photography (im not a photographer im so sorry pls lets all just ignore it), reader just straight up dipping in every situation, jealous pete lmao, reader trying to be mad, also i made peter super hot, like, more hot than usual (i was ovulating) ok bye

masterlist, read part 1, part 2, part 3

Peter had always known he would be with you. It was only a matter of when. When would he get the balls to act on his never-ending crush?

For a minute there, he had you. He felt like he owned the world. You wanted him, you loved him, and he thought the wait was finally over. This was the moment all the other moments in his life had led to.

He’d never told you (nor will he ever) but he’d never done a project on astronomy. That night you’d helped with his wounds after he’d crashed on your fire escape (the night he was hurt and all he had wanted was to see a familiar face, and his first thought was you), the night you’d told him you had a special interest in stars, he’d went home and stayed up all night to learn everything he could about them.

After doing that for several days, he took a night off patrolling to swing around the whole city (and a little further, if he were being honest) to find the perfect spot for your little stargazing date.

He just wanted everything to be perfect for you, always. It was why he used to wake up an hour earlier every day before school and grab you a cup of your favorite coffee from your favorite cafe. It was why he made sure to pay extra attention in your least favorite classes, the ones you struggled with the most, so he could help you with your homework and notes because he knew you’d need it. It was why he tied your shoelaces every time they came undone and you just ignored it. He held open every door, he cooked sometimes (though poorly), and he randomly bought you flowers and left you little notes everywhere.

All he wanted was for you to be completely happy. Which is why he had to end things. Every part of his heart disagreed, every inch of his bones disagreed. But he knew the reality of the situation, and he couldn’t do that to you.

Peter couldn’t leave you stuck in a dorm room, missing out on parties or hang outs with your friends, waiting for him to call. He couldn’t be the reason your phone was stuck in your face 24/7, worrying about him. He couldn’t have you staying up till 3AM waiting for him to send you a text telling you he was okay, that patrolling that night had gone well. Even if it hadn’t.

College was so important to you. You’d tried to downplay it to him but he knew how much you were looking forward to this, and he couldn’t be the one to take away from that experience.

He didn’t transfer back here for you.

Or at least, that’s what he spent countless hours and sleepless nights trying to convince himself. New York was his home, it needed him, it needed Spider-Man, May was getting older, he should be close to her, Columbia was a great school, it was his first choice. The fact that you went there was just a perk.

Or a con.

He wasn't sure anymore because seeing you here, in front of him for the first time in years, it left him breathless.

Peter was always a romantic, though he’d be loathe to admit it. He wanted that one true love, he wanted someone to come home to and talk about his day with, and afterwards he would listen to theirs. He wanted late night talks, early morning confessions. Dancing in the kitchen while food cooked on the stove, getting so lost in each other’s eyes that it almost burns. And he genuinely thought you two would find your way back to each other somehow, because he’d known since he was a little boy it would always be you.

But now he’s started to wonder if just because it would always be you, that might not mean he would actually get to have you.

Because there’s a man beside you.

He’s holding your waist.

And you’re not pushing him away.

“Ace?” Asked the man (who looked nothing like Peter, by the way, and it was driving him insane). Now Peter never considered himself a violent person. As a preteen and an early teenager, he’d been puny and weak, but even after he’d became Spider-Man he never liked to resort to violence unless absolutely necessary. But right that moment, he felt an inexplicable, almost primal rage he’d never felt before. And he wanted to punch this man in the face. Yeah, that sounded like it could help.

“Yeah,” you laughed. “Old nickname.”

The man beside just narrowed his eyes slightly, which didn’t help Peter’s urge to sock him in the face. He watched as his grip around you tightened and the man pulled you in closer, almost possessively. “Introduce me babe.”

Babe? Was this guy for real?

“Oh right,” you shook your head slightly and let out another slightly too high-pitched laugh and Peter almost felt bad for putting you in such an awkward position. “James, this is Peter. He’s an old friend of mine from high school. Peter, this is James. My boyfriend.”

Peter’s heart sank. He shouldn’t have been surprised, and he wasn’t. He could tell by the way James was holding you, the way he called you babe (which was tacky in Peter’s opinion. You deserved something a little more special than ‘babe’ ugh) but hearing you say it? He was afraid he might blackout.

He hadn’t expected you to go celibate or anything, but damn. Hearing you call someone else your boyfriend fucked with him in ways he’d never experienced.

He could see the shock in your eyes, the disbelief as you stared at him as if you couldn’t really trust yourself to see what you were seeing.

“So…how’ve you been?” He asked casually, as if his heart wasn’t racing out of his chest right then, and he knew yours was doing the same.

Your brows furrowed, “I—I’m good, wait,” you scoffed and closed your eyes tightly before opening them again. “What are you doing here Peter?”

Right. You didn’t know. Fair enough, he hadn’t told anyone until everything was already set in stone. “I just transferred in this semester. I go here now.”

And if he thought your eyes couldn’t get any wider, he was wrong. He almost thought that they’d fall out of your head.

“What?!”

The shock was written all over your face, but…there was something else, something he couldn’t quite place. After years of knowing you, it was concerning to him that he might not be able to read you as well as he used to.

Peter wasn’t sure what kind of reaction, exactly, he was expecting, but it wasn’t this. He tried his best to only stare at you because he really didn’t want to look at fucking James right now. “Yeah,” he cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden, “it just…felt right. Thought I belonged here.” His voice was quiet because he wasn’t even sure if that was true anymore. Was this right? Did he belong here anymore?

You stood perfectly still, no emotion on your face, and he wished more than anything he could read your mind right then. James looked back and forth between the two of you before he lightly tapped your hip, making peter’s heart churn, “I think we should get going, we’re gonna be late.”

He watched you look up at him, dazed, “Oh right, yeah, we should go. Bye Peter,” you didn’t even look at him as you said it, turning around and leaning into James’ hold as you walked away.

Yeah, this definitely wasn’t how he expected this to go.

“You wanna talk about that?”

You scoffed. “Not really, no.”

“So he’s an ex,” James replied, and it wasn’t a question. You trudged forward, feeling an uncomfortable tightness in your chest. Almost two years. Almost a whole two years where you’d imagined countless scenarios of how your reunion would go, but you’d never imagined he’d ambush you on your college campus, claiming that he’d transferred, while you were walking around campus with your current boyfriend.

You inhaled deeply. “Yeah, and I have no clue what he’s doing here.” You’d never really told him about Peter, it just hadn’t come up. If you had to refer to him while sharing a story, it was always as an ‘old friend’ or ‘neighbor from across the hall’. You’d never liked calling him an ‘ex’.

“Well I do,” you looked up at him questioningly. “He transferred this semester, obviously.” You huffed out a laugh and tried to focus on your footsteps. Just keeping walking forward, you thought. God, not even a full 5 minutes together and it’s like he’s completely thrown you off.

“Where’d he go before?”

He didn’t know anything. You were so used to the people in your life being so involved with you and Peter, already knowing everything, knowing when and where to bring him up after the breakup (usually trying not to bring him up at all for your sake) and you guessed that’s why you’d never told James about him, it was nice to have someone who didn’t know everything there was to know about you and your past. This way, you’d get to unveil those things at your own pace.

“He went to Duke.”

James whistled. “Good school,” he admitted, and you nodded. It was a good school. It was a great school that was 8 hours 27 minutes and 36 seconds, which is how far away Peter was supposed to be. But he wasn’t. He was here, attending the same school you were, the same school he was originally supposed to attend. With you.

“He seems cool enough, maybe we’ll see him around.” You wanted to give James credit for how cool he was trying to be about this.

“Maybe,” you forced a smile. You wondered just how much you’d be seeing him around and just what that meant.

“Pete you have no right to be upset about this,” May said, shaking her head on the other side of the phone.

“Don’t you think I know that,” he groaned and clutched the phone tighter to his ear as he walked around campus. It had been a couple of days since your little interaction and it had been on his mind since it happened. He couldn’t stop thinking about you. “And I’m not upset! I’m just…surprised.”

“What were you expecting?” May asked.

“Not him, thats for damn sure,” he mumbled grumpily. Truthfully, James had never done anything to make Peter hate him, he might even be an okay guy, but that wasn’t for Peter to find out because he was dead set on hating his guts, valid reasoning or not.

“Pete he’s not that bad,” his aunt tried to reason. “He’s actually an okay guy, he’s sweet and—”

“She deserves more than okay! And what about—wait a minute…have you met him?”

The line was quiet for a moment, confirming his suspicions. Peter scoffed just as May said, “it’s not like that! He came over during winter break and I happened to run into him. I spent a few hours at their apartment and—I don’t have to explain myself to you! Look Peter,” May sighed and he could picture her rubbing her temple the way she usually did when he got a little too much for her sometimes, “you broke up with her, you stopped reaching out, and you were the one who chose not to see her during your winter break,” she scolded through the phone and Peter felt his whole body flush with shame and guilt. He had done those things and there was no denying it, but while he might’ve considered them the only options at the time, god did he regret all of it after seeing you with that guy.

“I know,” he admitted in a low voice, “I did fuck up, and we can talk about that later but I’ve gotta go for now, May, bye.”

“Bye, Pete,” she replied, “I love you.”

“Love you too,” he hung up and stared at the door in front of him. After your first meeting, he wasn’t sure if this was as good an idea he had built it up to be in his head.

Too late, he thought, and pushed open the door too the newsroom.

“Hey, Peter right?” A redhead approached him with a bright smile on her face.

“Yeah that’s me,” he shrugged his backpack higher onto his shoulder and held out a hand.

“Alyssa, I’m the editor,” she said as she accepted his handshake, “I cannot tell you what a jam you’ve gotten us out of, really we’ve never run this low on members. Usually, we’re fighting them off with a stick, but apparently there aren’t too many people into photography right about now.”

“Oh hey, no problem. I saw the notice in the newsletter,” he shrugged, “thought I’d try something new.”

“Well, I really appreciate that Peter, I saw the photos you sent me, they’re amazing. Honestly, if the ones you submit for the paper are half as good, we’re going to be perfect.”

“Thanks Alyssa,” he always appreciated when people spoke well about his photography. You were always his biggest fan when it came to his interests and hobbies. You knew everything about him, from big to small, and yet you never belittled any part. He wondered if you had any clue how much that had meant to him. In a world where people praised Spider-Man for being the strong willed hero he was while simultaneously berating Peter for…well everything, you did the opposite. You loved him, every part. From the boy who went out to fight crime almost every free hour he could get, to that same boy who would sit on your bedroom floor and do physics homework with you and was crazy good at it.

He felt a sudden nervous feeling overtake him at the thought of seeing you again in the newsroom. He knew you were on the paper, duh, but when he’d seen the notice that the news team was in need of an extra photographer to two this season, he’d thought it a good opportunity. It definitely didn’t have anything to do with you, or spending time with you. Of course not.

Alyssa walked him around, introduced him to some of the people there, the other photographers (only one, at present, his name was Ryan. Apparently there was a shortage of people willing to take photos for the paper this semester), and by the end of his mini tour he couldn’t deny the small amount of relief at not seeing you…and yet at the same time…disappointment. Maybe you just weren’t in today.

He spoke to soon.

Stopping back at the front of the room, Alyssa turned to him again, “Well, I think that’s most of the people, at least, who are in today. Y’know, it’s pretty slow for start of the semester—” Her eyes darted somewhere behind him, obviously distracted by something. Peter watched her face light up before she said, “Oh! Looks like I was wrong,” she beckoned someone to come closer. Peter could feel the vibe shift in the room. “Peter, this is Y/N!”

Peter turned and could see the exact moment you faltered. Clearly, Alyssa didn’t. Nor did she notice the not-so-subtle looks you were throwing her way. “Y/N this is Peter, he one of our new photographers.”

To make things even better, James chose right then to walk in. “And this is James!”

James came to stand right beside you, taking up a stance much similar to the one he had during their first meeting, except this time his arms draped over your shoulder and tugged you into him.

“Oh, we’ve met. Patrick, right?”

Peter definitely didn’t like this guy.

“Peter,” Alyssa corrected, “I was just introducing him to Y/N, he’s a part of the photography team.”

“Oh I don’t think they need much of an introduction.” James remarked. You winced. Peter wanted to punch him. Poor Alyssa was growing more confused by the second.

“So…have you two met as well?” She tried.

“Lyss do you remember when I told you about Peter from high school?” You trailed off at the end, hoping she’s catch it on her own.

Alyssa snorted, “You mean the dick who broke up with you on graduation? Yeah I remember—” she gasped and looked at Peter, then back at you.

You nodded. Alyssa couldn’t keep the shock off of her face. Finally, James spoke up, “And as lovely as this has been, we should really get to work.” Peter watched as he pulled you away to a pair of desks on the other side of the room. He watched you take a seat at one, James at the other, and he wondered if this was how you’d met him. Did you like him because he attractive? Funny? What about him had caught your attention in the first place? And then the worst thought of all, did you love him? Peter repressed a shudder, he couldn’t handle that right now, or maybe ever.

He turned back to Alyssa, who had been standing quietly beside him since her earlier remark about him (rightfully so, he had been a dick), “So where should I set up?” He lifted his backpack on his shoulder for emphasis.

Wordlessly and wide-eyed, Alyssa pointed to an empty desk. It was two desks across from yours.

This was going to be interesting.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me your Peter was here! In Columbia! Joining the paper!”

It hadn’t taken your roommate long to find some (shitty) excuse to drag you out to the hall to give you the talking-off you were expecting. “I can go in there and fire him right now!” She was flexing her powers as the new editor.

Lyss had made abrupt climb to editor at the end of last semester. Brandon had resigned to take some time to himself while he applied to grad schools all over the country and went through the trials and tribulations that was senior year of undergrad and honestly, you couldn’t have thought of anyone better to take him place. You’d all gone out to celebrate, the whole news staff, but the two of you and James had had your own little celebration at your apartment later that night.

“I’m sorry! It’s just been so hectic! You’re so busy all the time, you’re barely home, and honestly I didn’t really believe it at first. And he’s not my Peter,” you scoffed, “he’s just Peter.”

Lyss snorted, “Y/N there’s no way you could possibly think I’m too busy to hear about all this, this is huge! Tell me everything!” She exclaimed eagerly. “When’d you first run into him? How did James know? Did you tell him? Oh my god, what did he say?”

“Calm down girl,” you held up both hands. “I ran into him a couple days ago, James was with me, and he was actually super cool about it!”

Lyss gave you a look. “What?” You asked confused.

“Now, what exactly had you thinking he was cool about it? ‘Cause that was not the vibe I was getting in there.”

“What do you mean?”

“Patrick? Please,” she giggled, “that was totally on purpose, of course he remembered his name. And the way he had his arm around you?”

You sighed and ran a hand through your hair, “This is all so crazy. I don’t know what hell he’s doing back here.”

Lyss perked up, “My offer to fire him still stands babe! Just say the word and poof,” she made a gesture with her hands, making you laugh.

“We both know can’t actually do that. We’re running low enough on photographers as it is, you can’t just fire a perfectly good one.”

“Maybe,” she shrugged, “I can always grab a camera and try my hardest. I always thought I’d be great at photography.”

You grinned, walking back towards the door to the newsroom, Lyss following beside you, “Oh yeah? How come?”

“I don’t know,” she frowned, “that was a total fucking lie, I’ve never thought twice about photography. But I probably could do it! If it came down to it.”

You laughed as you entered, but one of the other writers quickly interrupted it “Alyssa, we need your help with this layout.”

Lyss looked at you smiling, “Duty calls, this isn’t over.”

You smiled, “Go. We’ll talk later.”

As she walked off, you made your way to your desk, avoiding any eye contact with Peter. It was just your luck he got sat right across from you. You briefly wondered if Alyssa’s editor could get him moved. You’d have to bring this up with her later.

A file dropped on your desk, causing you to look up. James stood above you, smirking and successfully blocking your view of Peter (if you were trying to look over at him, which you weren’t). You wondered it he’d done that on purpose. “Those copies you were looking for,” he proclaimed, pointing towards the file, “fresh out the printer.

Shit. You had completely forgotten about these with everything and you needed them to finalize the current article you were working on. Smiling, you gushed jokingly, “My hero, thank you so much!”

James’ smirk grew as he placed his hands on his hips dramatically. “Just call me your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.”

You were about to laugh until you heard a scoff come from behind him. Your smile fell from your face and you watched James’ expression change as he turned to see Peter. “Something funny man?”

“No,” Peter replied, not even bothering to look up from his computer. That was until he let his eyes meet yours. It was barely a second, but it was long enough for James to notice.

James stood perfectly still in his spot in front of your desk before silently walking over to his and taking a seat without another look at either of you.

You tried to get him to look at you so you could silently apologize or something, but he wouldn’t budge.

You weren’t sure how this was going to work.

You swiped your hair out of your face as you walked out of the lecture hall, your shoes echoing on the hard-tile floor. Stepping out of the building, you took a deep breath. You’d had a long day and you couldn’t wait to get to your apartment and crash on the couch. You weren’t even sure if you could make it to your room. You’d try to get in a nap before you were supposed to meet up with James tonight. The two of you had been busier lately and you’d felt bad about everything going on with Peter, so you tried to set aside some time just for you and him. It was going to be a low-key night, just the two of you ordering in, maybe watching a movie, you thought it was much needed.

Your breath caught in your throat when you saw Peter leaning against the wall of the building adjacent to the one you just exited. The photography building. You hadn’t seen him recently. Even at the newsroom, it seemed the two of you had different schedules lately.

You kept your head down, hoping he wouldn’t notice you.

“Hey Ace! Wait up.”

Clearly, you wouldn’t be so lucky.

You paused, not even bothering to pretend like you hadn’t heard him. It was Peter, you knew him better than you knew yourself, he would’ve just chased after you.

You took in his appearance as he walked up to you. You hadn’t really given yourself the chance before, with James around and everything…Peter had changed. You could see it now clearer than ever. He moved with a confidence in himself and with his body he hadn’t possessed before. And he looked buffer.

Peter had told you how after the bite, everything had changed, his senses, his appearance, and while he had definitely been strong before…now there was visible muscle to back it up. You suspected than even if he tried to hide under baggy sweaters like he did back in high school, it wouldn’t work. But something told you that this new Peter was done hiding.

Gone was the scrawny little kid you’d known your entire childhood and before you stood a handsome young man who would’ve left that same little kid awestruck. “Been hitting up the gym?” You asked once he was close enough to hear.

Peter chuckled, “Yeah, actually. I started back in freshman year, it helped clear my mind off everything.”

How someone could possibly juggle classes, homework, super hero work, workouts, and manage to eat, sleep, and drink, you’d never know. But if anyone could do it it was Peter.

“May and I were talking.” Safe bet to start with May, you thought. “She was asking about you, said its been a while since she’s seen you.”

“Mhm,” you agreed, a little confused as to where he was going with this, “I haven’t been home in a bit, but we’ve texted.”

“Oh yeah, that’s nice!” Peter reached to scratch the back of his neck, a nervous tic of his you knew all too well. “If you wanted you, could come over for dinner with us sometime. She’d love to have you.”

“Umm…” was he serious right now? “Thanks Peter, but my schedule’s kinda packed right now. I’ve got like three essays due and I have a big article coming up soon, so I’ll have to pass. Tell May I miss her too though.”

“Oh, the competition, right? That’s coming up soon, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is. You know about it?”

He shrugged one shoulder. “I think I heard Alyssa mention it and you having something to do with it. Congratulations, by the way, I heard it’s a pretty big deal.”

You grinned, “It is. Front page big deal. I’m excited.” You admitted.

Peter smiled, so genuine you could see those crinkles form beside his eyes. You remembered how you used to trace them with your fingers. “All your writing belongs on the front page, if you ask me.”

You blushed. He couldn’t just say things like that, not anymore. “Thanks, but you haven’t even read any of it yet.” You hadn’t had a piece published since he’d arrived here, he couldn’t have read any of your work yet.

“That’s not true,” he said simply, with no further elaboration.

Your phone rang, cutting off your conversation. Reaching into your pocket, you pulled it out to see James’ name flashing across your screen. You held up a finger to Peter and walked a few paces away before answering.

“Hey!”

“Hey babe, so listen, Nash just broke up with his girl and we thought we’d take him on a barhop to cheer him up. I’m picking you up at 10.”

Your brows furrowed. Barhopping did not sound like something you wanted to do tonight, or ever. And didn’t you already have plans? “Um, weren’t we supposed to hang out tonight?”

“Oh pfft, that wasn’t anything special, we were just going to order takeout. So 10?” Oh. You’d beg to differ, him and his friends always found an excuse to get absolutely plastered at least once a week, and the two of you had barely seen each other. At first you’d thought he was a little upset with you because of the whole Peter thing but now…you wondered if he even cared.

You cleared your throat, rubbing the palm of your empty hand on your shirt. When had you gotten sweaty? “No I think I’m good. I have some stuff to work on, but you have fun though! I’ll keep the door unlocked tonight.” It wouldn’t be the first time you’d nursed a drunk and incoherent James (and terribly hungover in the morning)

“Damn, you sure?”

You hummed in response.

“Kay, bye.”

“Bye.”

You shoved your phone back into your pocket. At least now you could take as long as you wanted with your nap.

“Is he always like that?”You jumped. You had completely forgotten Peter was still there, and now he was stepping closer to you, taking back the distance you’d put between you to answer your phone call.

“I’m sorry?”

“Your boyf—James, is he always like that? Partying, getting drunk, barhopping?” Right…Peter wasn’t just Peter. He was also Spider-Man, which meant he’d just heard everything. As if this day couldn’t get fucking better. You didn’t need your ex-boyfriend judging your current one, he had no right.

“No.” You frowned. “So what if he likes to party sometimes? Isn’t that what college is about?”

“I’m not attacking him Ace. I guess I was just wondering how the two of you got together when you’re so different. I mean, even to someone who doesn’t know you as well as I do, it doesn’t take me to figure out barhopping isn’t your scene.”

“Well maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do,” you snapped back, “not anymore at least.”

Peter paused, a look of hurt flashing across his features, as if that were something he hadn’t even considered. A small part of you relished in it, in him knowing things had changed since the last time you’d seen each other, and he couldn’t just ignore that. No amount of pretending would fill in that gap.

“Goodbye Peter.” You didn’t want to talk about James with him anymore than you already had.

“The invitation still stands,” he blurted. You gave him a weird look. “To dinner,” he explained, “the invitation still stands. I meant what I said, May would love to have you over, and so would I. So if you’ve ever got the time…” he trailed off.

You couldn’t help the soft smile that graced your face. Only Peter could switch your moods so fast, and you had no doubt he meant it about the dinner, just like you had no doubt he would also completely understand if you ignored his offer altogether.

“Thank you Petey, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Thank you Petey,”

God he’d bet you didn’t realize it, that the nickname had just rolled off your tongue. You probably hadn’t thought twice about, he, however, certainly had. In fact, the moment hadn’t left his mind. You’d given him a smile so sincere, he would’ve given you anything you asked for just to keep you looking at him like that. And paired with the nickname? He was done for.

He had sat outside the English building in hopes of finally getting to see you again. He was starting to believe he must be a masochist, because every time he saw you it felt like a punch to the gut. Was it possible for someone to get more beautiful by the second? But he couldn’t help it, he was drawn to you, always had been and always will be.

The worst of it was when you were with James. God, just thinking the name made his entire mood sour. But seeing the only girl he’d ever loved with someone else made him want to punch something (someone; and that someone was James). And hearing that phone call you’d had with him only further pissed him off. How the hell could he even think to ask you to go barhopping, if he knew you at all he would know that you would much rather prefer a quiet night at home. And it seemed that was exactly what you had planned, before that douchebag cancelled to go out with his friend.

He had been out patrolling most of the evening and well into the night. Now he was on his way home, it had been a quiet night so he thought he might as well retire early. He could always come back out if need be. That was one of the greater things about college, more freedom, a more flexible schedule, unlike high school.

Just as he was swinging his way back home, he caught sight of a familiar figure lounging on a fire escape. You were home. Peter hadn’t really spoken to you since he’d caught you walking of class. You’d see each other around, but there was nothing more than brief moments of eye contact.

You looked peaceful, reading silently as a soft light filtered through your window. He was going to change that.

He landed softly a couple stories above you. Flipping over, he shot out a web and caught himself so he was hanging upside down. Slowly, he lowered himself until he his head was almost brushing the floor of your fire escape. “How’s it hanging?”

You shrieked, dropping your book in fright. Now, Peter would never want to actually scare you, but he couldn’t help messing around every now and then.

“What the fuck Peter,” you hissed, one hand resting on your heart as you breathed heavily. Peter righted himself and landed completely in one smooth motion.

He swiped off his mask and grinned. “I thought it was funny.”

You whacked him with your book.

Peter threw his arms up and cowered slightly, “Mercy! Mercy!”

“Shut up!” You laughed softly, “Someone might hear you.”

He put arms down and fixed you with a serious expression, “Did you or did you not just scream a couple of seconds ago?”

You whacked him with your book again.

Peter was cackling like a madman at this point and it didn’t take long before you were joining him. The two of you stayed like that for a moment, laughing together on your fire escape, a place ripe with memories of your life together before.

“What’re you doing here?” You asked once you’d calmed down and caught your breath again.

“I was swinging back home when I saw you out here reading. Thought I’d stop by and say hey.”

“Or give me a heart attack,” you murmured.

He laughed again, “Sorry about that.”

“No you’re not,” you rolled your eyes but your smile escaped. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he replied, grinning. This was nice, so nice.

You fell into a soft silence, neither of you wanting to break the comfortable atmosphere you’d created. You decided to speak up, but so did he.

“I wanted to—”

“Ace I—”

You looked at him and held back a laugh. He shook his head softly and smiled. Settling down across from you, Peter stretched his legs out (longer than they were before, and taking up more space, he almost didn’t fit), and he pointed towards you, “You first.”

“Fine. I wanted to say sorry for snapping at you so much since you’ve been back. Its just been…” you fidgeted with your hands and bit your lip, “weird.”

His heart fell a little bit, why in the world would you be apologizing? “Ace, you don’t need to apologize for a thing, I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. I’m sorry Ace, I know its weird, I know you had no warning when I just popped back into your life, and I know it’s weird.” He nudged your leg with his and smiled, “Hell I’m lucky your even talking to me right now.”

You narrowed your eyes, “Well it’s not like you gave me much of a choice, you cornered me on my own fire escape!”

He laughed. “True, I guess.” Peter added a dramatic sigh before his next sentence, hoping to hide how nervous he actually felt, “I could always go if you want me to.”

“No,” you said softly, “I don’t mind.”

Peter felt like doing a happy dance.

“What’re you doing home?” He asked. He knew you had your own apartment near campus (with Alyssa, he’d learned. He quickly, learned how close you two were, he was glad you had a friend like that.) and he couldn’t think of a specific reason you’d be home.

“My mom bought some new furniture and she asked me to come help her put it together. I figured I’d just spend the night.”

“Oh? I thought she was banned from shopping?”

“She was! Until she wasn’t.” You laughed out loud, making Peter laugh as well.

The night went on like that, you and Peter sharing simple conversation. You avoided touching on the touchier subjects for now. You weren’t exactly ignoring them, both of you knew they were there, sitting beside you as you conversed, waiting to be picked apart and discussed at length. It just seemed that the two of you had silently reached an agreement, that for now, you’d enjoy whatever peace you’d found. Because at the end of the day, first and foremost, you two had been friends. The bigger things could come later.

It had been a week since that night on your fire escape wand you were actually starting to think you could handle Peter being back. Seeing him around had been brief lately, you suspected he was finally getting settled in his classes and his life here, but when you did see him it was easier. Less tension-filled. Unless James was around, that made it harder.

You were laying on the couch in your living room, Lyss laying opposite you, both your legs meeting in the middle. The two of you were watching Pride & Prejudice (the 2005 one, of course, because no one really cared about the 1995 series) while a bowl of popcorn lay half-eaten on the coffee table in front of you.

You reached out and grabbed a handful of popcorn, “Kiera Knightley is so fine.”

“Tell me about it, oh my god,” Lyss exclaimed, dramatically fanning herself. “I watched ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ when I was younger, I’ve never been the same since.”

“I know exactly what you mean. Peter and I watched them all together during one of our summer breaks, and that scene with her and Orlando Bloom had me practically drooling.” You giggled.

“Speaking of Peter,” the way she said it had you thinking she’d been dying to bring this subject up, “how’s that going?”

“Um…good. Well, better, I guess is the right word. Things are going better than the first few times I saw him around but of course there’s still that weirdness.”

“God, I still cant get over how crazy it is that he just randomly pops up here, outta nowhere!” You’d always talked about Peter with Lyss, you’d told her your history with him long before he’d shown up, but now she could finally put a face to the name.

“You’re telling me,” you snorted. “I saw him when I went back home last week,” you shook your head, “we talked on my fire escape like we used to. It was almost unreal.”

“Weren’t you guys no contact since winter break of freshman year?” She asked.

You hummed in confirmation and she whistled. “So he hasn’t given you some grand love proposal, has he?”

You choked on a laugh, “No. Of course not.”

“I’m just saying,” she shrugged casually, “you don’t transfer to the school you know your ex-girlfriend attends, join the paper you know she’s on, and hang out on her fire escape where you hung out when you were together unless you still have feelings.”

Frowning, you popped some more popcorn your mouth. You didn’t want to believe Peter still had feelings for you, it would make everything so much harder.of course, there was something there, and if you were being honest, there probably always would be. You were each other’s first loves and that didn’t just disappear into thin air.

But Peter had left you, and you had a boyfriend now. Everything else was irrelevant.

Lyss leaned over and poked your cheek, “Don’t pout, I was only kidding. Sorta.”

“I know,” you said, shooting her a smile.

“Stop thinking about him and start think about the killer article you’re going to write me about tomorrow.” She shot you a wink.

Right. The competition was tomorrow. And you were going with James.

“OH! Hand clench scene!” Lyss jumped up, tearing you away from your thoughts.

Peter had left you, and you had a boyfriend now. Everything else was irrelevant.

Tomorrow should make a great distraction.

The venue was beautiful. You made your way around, stopping to appreciate every photograph, taking in all the details of the art hanging on every inch of the walls. You loved it.

You looked up at James and grinned, “Do you get it now?”

He smiled and shook his head, “To be honest with you, nah.” He smirked at you, “But I’m here with the prettiest girl in the whole school, so what does it matter?”

You flushed and looked down at the empty notepad in your hands, by the end of the night it was probably going to be full. You were going to walk around taking notes of all the unique pieces, but the biggest part of your job today would be later, when they announce the winners. There were three runner ups and then, of course, the first place winner. You’d be speaking to all of them tonight, longer with the winner.

Just as you’d told James, this thing had a dress code. He had gone for a navy jacket with a white button down underneath, and a pair of white slacks. You were wearing a pretty black dress that fell to just below your knees; it had a soft tulle layer that swished as you walked and floral embroidery that ran along the whole thing, the green of the vines and soft pink of the flowers popping out with the darker undertone. You felt good about tonight, really good. Alyssa had chosen to give you this big piece of news and you weren’t going to let her down.

You walked around the venue hand-in-hand with James, getting familiar with the art and the artists, stopping by to compliment a few that really popped out to you. Your favorite so far was a stunning picture taken by a girl named Macy, she’d captured of Bow Bridge at Central Park. She’d used some kind of vintage camera giving the photo an ethereal, elegant, romantic feel to it, with the flowers on the bushes, the green of the scenery, and the golden glow on the bridge and the people walking upon it and boating on the waters beneath it, if it was up to you this would definitely be picked as first place.

You’d tried to get James to see the same beauty you saw in the picture, the almost fantastical vibe of it, looking more like a painting than reality, but he hadn’t understood, claiming it was ‘just a picture of the park’ leaving you more than a little disappointed. Maybe some people really just didn’t understand art.

“Think we’ve seen almost everything,” you murmured to James as you looked around to see if there was a place you hadn’t been yet.

“Actually, there’s a few on the other side of that wall we haven’t seen yet,” he pointed, “been seeing lots of people come in and out of there. I think one of the winners might be there.”

“Oh my gosh I completely missed that part, thanks!” You leaned up and pecked his cheek, making him grin. “Anytime babe.”

That would be your last happy moment of the night.

You walked through the photos slowly and marveled at how, when it came to art, everyone truly had their own style. Each piece had a tag beside it, conveying the name of the work and the name of the photographer. Though most of the presenters liked to hover near their piece in case anyone had questions or wanted to know more, it was easier this way for the judges to get the information they needed.

You were talking to someone about their picture when James nudged you. “Is that Peter?”

He pointed to your left, and you saw the side-profile of Peter talking to someone with his arms crossed. Peter was here? Well, it did make sense, he was a photographer after all. This was more than his scene.

“He’s probably here to get pictures for the paper,” you shrugged.

James held your hand a little tighter as the two of you walked through some more photos. “Alright, this is getting boring,” James sighed heavily.

“Really?” you frowned, “I really like it. I think its fun.”

He eyed you, “You already got the article babe, you don’t have to put on an act anymore.”

You laughed lightly, but you weren’t really finding this funny, “I’m not acting! Did you see ‘love in the air’? I don’t think I’ve ever seen something more beautiful.” That was the name of the piece you’d loved, and you had to say, it was accurate. It was like looking through rose-tinted-glasses, finding the lovely in everything.

“The one of the park?” James rolled his eyes, “it’s Central Park, there’s nothing special about it.” You were opening your mouth to argue when he cut you off, “They’re just photos, babe. Now, when are they gonna announce the winners so we can get outta here?”

You frowned and looked down at your watch. There was only about half an hour until winners were announced. You were going to write down something in your notepad when you heard James mutter a curse under his breath and come to a stop beside you, his hand going limp in yours.

“What? What is it—” you looked up to see what had gotten him and you really wished you hadn’t. In front of you hung a piece you hadn’t seen before, this particular photograph, or photographs as it was more of a collage, had something none of the other ones didn’t…you.

“Who…?” But it was no use because you knew who, and so did James.

Neither of you needed to look at the tag to know who the contestant was, but you did anyway.

‘Seasonal’

By: Peter Parker

It was a bright, colorful, collage conveying the changes of the seasons. One corner had bounds of snowflakes and different clips of snowy fields and icicles, stretching out to merge with the corner opposite of it, summer. Bright blue waves, soft tufts of sand. Both corner melted down the sides of the poster board to create spring, which was full of beautiful, soft colored flowers, sprouting up as if just given life. The project was beautiful, you had to admit. You’d known Peter had a knack for photography but all these photos, the dedication to this project, was extremely admirable. There had to be hundreds of photos, cut up, some bigger than others, and perfectly arranged with each other to create this harmonic view of nature, all taken by him,

But the problem was the center. Autumn. Which was you. It took up the middle body of the collage, it was dead center. Unlike the other seasons, this one didn’t have multiple photos bringing it together, it was the key piece, all the others worked to make this one shine.

That picture Peter had taken of you in Central Park, the one where he’d gotten you to lay on a pile of leaves, made you laugh so he could capture the perfect shot. You’d forgotten about it, honestly, you weren’t even sure if you’d seen it after it was taken. But now, here it was, over two years later, submitted in a fucking photography competition.

“What do you think?” You weren’t sure how long you were there, staring at that photo of yourself, it could’ve been hours, days even, before that heart-wrenchingly familiar voice.

You turned around quickly, coming face to face with Peter, who was looking at you with a heavy expression. You had seen him earlier when James pointed him out, but it was from across a crowded room and you’d only seen his side. He towered over you now, in a black button down, with black slacks and a black belt. You knew you shouldn’t even be thinking it, but he looked good. His shirt fit him perfectly, hugging him in all the right places, and he had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing off his thick forearms. It wasn’t until he crossed them over his chest and looked at you expectantly that you realized you were staring and he was waiting on an answer.

Before you could give it to him, James spoke up, “You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve.” His voice was low and angrier than you’d ever heard it, causing alarm bells to go off in your head. Peter didn’t bother even acknowledging him, his eyes were solely on you, and that seemed to piss him off even more.

“You think this shit’s funny?” James growled.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” Peter rolled his eyes.

You stood shell-shocked in your place, unsure of what to do. “That’s it,” James said, “I’ve had enough of your bullshit.” He stepped forward suddenly, making you jump into action.

“Stop it,” you hissed, but he wasn’t listening, walking from your side right up to Peter.

His previous remarks had gained the attention from the small groups of people who were close enough to hear them.

“Take it down,” he said as he got up in Peter’s face. Peter, to his credit, didn’t budge an inch. In fact, he was looking at James as if he were nothing more than an annoying fly buzzing past. James stood at least a couple inches taller than Peter, and yet he wasn’t the most intimidating one here, not by a mile.

“No, but I’d be happy to take you down,” with a damn smile on his face. You wanted to slap them both.

“You little—”

“Enough!” You stepped in, throwing your arm between them and holding it against James’ chest. You weren’t going to sit there and let them throw hands at an event like this, especially not over you.

Peter sucked in a breath, eyeing the arm you had strapped across James’ front in a feeble attempt to hold him back. Something unreadable shone in his eyes, and his jaw ticked as he met your glare.

“You are not doing this here,” you said in a hard voice, refusing to look at Peter anymore and instead staring up at James. His face was stone and his eyes were set on Peter, whose eyes were set on you.

It was like some crazy triangle or something.

A part of you wondered what a photo of this particular moment would look like. You imagined it would be named something like ‘Lovers Quarrel’. Finally, after what felt like forever, James’ gaze finally slid down toward you. He worked his jaw for a moment before stepping back. “I need to get some air,” he mumbled. Without bothering another glance at either of you, he turned and headed for the exit.

You stood in place, eyes stuck on his retreating figure, when you heard Peter scoff. “Can you believe that guy?”

Rage flew through your blood. “Excuse me?”

“Oh come on Ace,” but his voice didn’t sound as sure as before and you could’ve laughed at the thought of him thinking you’d agree with him, “you know I didn’t start that.”

It was your turn to scoff, “Maybe not, but you didn’t hesitate to tell him how you’d take him down.”

“Well what was I supposed to do?” He asked weakly. All that confidence and haughtiness from earlier was gone, standing before you was just Peter. But you were starting to think you didn’t know Peter anymore. What you’d said to him before, about him not knowing you anymore, you’d said mostly to hurt him. But now…you wondered if there were more truth to your words than you realized.

Sometimes there were moments like that night on your fire escape and it was like things had never changed, he’d never moved hundreds of miles away and the two of you were back just hanging out, the oldest of friends. Two people who knew each other better than anyone else ever would.

And then there were moments like tonight.

You eyed him curiously, disappointment all over your features. You knew he hadn’t liked James but for him to genuinely partake in a fight…

“I don’t know Peter. I don’t know you anymore.” And you turned to walk in the same direction you’d seen James headed to before, but not before you glimpsed the hurt on Peter’s face.

Stepping out the doors, you were hit with a warm breeze and the sound of New York traffic. Shuddering at the sudden change of temperature (the venue had the AC on blast, stepping outside felt like a warm hug) you looked around for James. You caught him leaning against the side of the building with a hand running through his hair.

“Hey,” you said softly, approaching on light feet as you moved to the same wall, leaning right across from him.

“Hey,” he deadpanned, not meeting your eyes.

Your heart swelled with guilt. You didn’t know why; you knew you shouldn’t feel guilty, you didn’t do anything wrong and you had no clue Peter was going to do that, or be here at all. But he just looked so angry right now and you couldn’t help feeling like it was sort of your fault.

“I’m sorry.” You wanted something, anything. Anything other than that cold look in his eyes. You wanted him to tell you it wasn’t your fault, that he wasn’t angry, not at you, just at the situation.

He didn’t do any of that.

After a few seconds and still no answer you raised a hand to brush away the pieces of hair that had fallen into his face in a way you thought would comfort him, but that only had him swerving to avoid your touch as if your hand were made of fire.

You retracted it, your heart swelling with hurt. Ouch. Okay, so maybe he was mad at you. “James…” you trailed off. You weren’t sure what to say, you were afraid the slightest thing would set him off even more.

He shook his head, jaw so clenched you were afraid it would snap. “No,” he ran a hand over his face, “Nah, I can’t do this.”

“Do what?” You asked exasperated, “I don’t understand, what’s the big deal?”

“What’s the big deal?” He sneered with venom in his voice, and you regretted saying anything at all. “The big deal is—” he cut himself off with a harsh laugh, “Honestly Y/N, if you don’t see it you’re even more blind than I thought.”

Just then, a noise sounded from inside the venue. Microphone feedback. The awards were about to be handed out. You could hear one of the judges introducing himself. You stared at James wordlessly. You didn’t want to go inside and leave things like this but you also didn’t see how you could say or do anything that would fix it.

“James, I swear I had no idea about that,” you cleared your throat, willing your voice not to break, “I didn’t even know he’d be here.”

He wouldn’t even look at you, nodding and staring out onto the street, and that felt like an even bigger hurt. Why wouldn’t he just listen? As if he’d willed it with his eyes, a car pulled up to the curb right in front of you, tearing your gaze away from him for a moment. James walked away from you, hand settling on the handle of the backseat door and realization hit you hard, cold, and fast.

He hadn’t been waiting for you to follow him, to talk things out and make things right again. He’d just been waiting for his ride.

Without even bothering another look your way, “Good luck with your fucking article.”

I don’t know you anymore.

It was the only thing that had been running through his brain since the last syllable had rolled off of your tongue.

How could you say that? How could you even think it? Did you seriously believe that? Did you truly think that he was so different from the boy you once loved, the boy you’d dreamed of a future with, a shared future?

His head was buzzing with thoughts about you and what you’d said when he felt hands on his shoulders pushing him. Looking around, he realized everyone was staring at him. The hands on his shoulders were pushing him forward.

“Go, Peter,” someone beside him whispered, one of the other photographers from the paper, Ryan, who’d been standing beside him in the crowd, he realized, “you won!”

Right. He’d been so focused on you that he’d completely forgotten where he was for a moment. Shortly after you’d walked away from him, the award ceremony had begun. He didn’t even remember walking over here, or the introductions, or any other people being awarded

He wordlessly made his way onto the stage, vaguely recalled shaking someone’s hand, being handed something, a ribbon maybe? He didn’t know, he didn’t know anything except he was on stage, everyone was clapping for him, and he was looking for you.

The closest thing he could find was the photograph of you, also on the stage, sitting in the first place slot beside him. This was wrong, it was all wrong, and it was his fault. You were so excited for this article, you’d told him as much and he could see it, and he’d never wanted to ruin it for you.

To his side stood a petite blond girl, looking to be around his age, hovering close to another photograph. It was a lovely, romantic photo of Central Park. He recalled seeing it earlier as he was roaming around the venue checking out the other pieces. It had caught his attention because it reminded him of you.

It made his heart deflate even more.

More chatter ensued, followed by more applause and Peter tried his best not to look so uncomfortable (May had repeatedly informed him he always looked like he was about to be sick when he was too stressed, and he didn’t want anyone thinking he was about to vomit all over his newly awarded first-prize-winning piece and all the other winners).

At this point, he couldn’t wait for his cue to get off this godforsaken stage so he could find you and apologize. It was the least he could do but hopefully it would make things at least a little better.

“What do you say Mr. Parker?”

He whipped his head toward the speaker. Todd Kravinski, the man running this whole thing, the same one who’d called him up here earlier and handed him the ribbon (and a check, apparently, but Peter hadn’t realized that until after) had asked him something and he’d completely missed it.

“I—I’m sorry sir, what was that?”

Mr. Kravinski chuckled, and Peter let out a forced laugh. “C’mere kid, they’re gonna wanna get your picture, and maybe a little statement for the paper.” His stomach lurched at that last part. You were going to be taking his statement for the paper. You were going to be the one who described his piece and take the pictures he taken and turn them into words. Selfishly, he couldn’t wait to hear what you thought.

Peter walked instructed to stand near his piece, hold up his ribbon and check, and smile. He was paraded around, forced into handshakes, shoving out smiles until the corners of his mouth and his cheeks ached, and patted on the back more times than he could count. And yet all he could think about was you.

It wasn’t until the parading around was coming to an end that he looked up from some stranger congratulating him and caught your eye, standing a few steps back, talking to Lewis, he was third runner-up and they’d been standing beside each other earlier on the stage. Peter swore his whole body froze when he saw you, every time he caught your eye it felt like the two of you were sharing a whole conversation no one else was privy to, even now after being gone for almost 2 whole years, he could feel that familiar warmth, the sensual tug of that bond the two of you would only ever share with each other. And it was so familiar, so soft, so wholly you and him, he could’ve cried.

But then you looked away. And he could’ve cried for completely different reasons.

He made quick work of excusing himself from his current conversation and walked over to where you were chatting up Lewis, writing down things in a small notepad. He found you so incredibly adorable standing there, biting your lip in concentration as you scribbled down something she’d just told you, careful not to miss any details.

“Hey Lewis,” he approached the two of you, your head shooting up at the familiar voice, “Congrats on runner-up, your piece was amazing.”

They shook hands with each other, “You too man, congrats. That was one hell of a collage.”

“Thanks, hey do you mind if I steal Y/N away for a bit? I’ve been meaning to speak with her.”

“Not at all, I think we’re pretty much done here.” Lewis looked at you to confirm you’d gotten all you need. Peter could tell you very much wanted to protest and he caught your subtle glance down at your notepad. It didn’t take a genius to know you were pondering what other questions you might’ve missed that could keep you from being alone with Peter, but it seemed you couldn’t find anything because you ended up giving Lewis a tight-lipped smile.

“Thanks for talking with me. I loved your photo, and congratulations again.”

“Thank you. can’t wait to read it,” Lewis replied, walking off with a wink in your direction.

You immediately looked down, refusing to meet Peter’s eyes after Lewis turned his back, instead taking a enormous interest in your shoes.

Peter cleared his throat, “Ace, can we talk?”

“Talk about what?” You finally looked up. Peter was fluent in all things Y/N, yet he knew that he didn’t need to be to see the unhappiness etched on your features. Your countenance was all hard lines and and furrowed brows and—were your eyes red? Had you been crying?

“Seriously Peter, what do you wanna talk about? The part where you entered into a competition you knew damn well I’d be covering, the part where you entered and won using a picture of me without telling me, the part where you tried to pick a fight with my boyfriend about it, or the part where you tried to get me to side with you?”

“Ace, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for things to go down the way they did,” he tried helplessly. He didn’t want to argue with you, mostly because he’d never cared for it, even when you were together, but also because he didn’t want to feel any worse.

You sniffled and it felt like a kick to the gut. His thought from earlier resurfaced, and this time it was because he was completely fluent in you that he knew you hadn’t cried yet. Between whatever had happened when you’d left to find James and now, you’d gotten upset but you hadn’t cried and it was breaking him to see you trying so hard to keep that composure.

“Well they did,” you replied quietly, avoiding his gaze once more as you crossed your arms and looked to the side.

All Peter really wanted to do was pry your arms open, break the protective stance you’d taken up, and pull you into a bone-crushing hug that was much need by the both of you if you asked him. But he couldn’t do that. “I’m so sorry Ace. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You’ve done enough.” He wasn’t really expecting you to accept his offer, but the rejection still hurt.

“Well, what about with the article? How can I help with that?” He hadn’t let himself think it but he was excited about the extra time with you that came with first place. Maybe there was a silver lining in all this.

“Thanks but no.” Maybe not. “Actually, I—I should go.”

He wanted to speak up. He wanted to protest. He wanted you. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t have any of the things he wanted and the same thought kept floating through his head:

It’s all my fault.

The leaves rustled around you as you walked, the breeze carried with it a certain smell you could only find on the streets of New York during this time of year. You were on the brink of summer, the nature around you was peaking. The flowers were fully bloomed, the grass a delicious shade of green, birds chirped merrily, and you felt like shit.

You and James hadn’t talked since he’d left last night after the whole thing with Peter. You’d sent texts, called multiple times, left voicemails most of those times, you weren’t quite sure what else there was to do. You should probably go to his place. Maybe you should’ve even gone last night, but…you weren’t up for it yet. Not then and not now.

And then there was Peter.

Stupid, annoying, confusing, infuriating, Peter Parker.

Leaving last night was a stupid idea. You were already there, you should’ve asked him a few quick questions and got it over with. Now you’d have to make time to see him, and you weren’t sure how that would go over with James, article or not.

It had felt like your heart had short-circuited when you’d seen that photo on the wall. How long had he planned that? Obviously he was aware you were going to see it…what had he thought your reaction would be? What had he thought James’ reaction would be? He probably hadn’t thought of James at all, if you were being honest with yourself.

It still felt crazy to think he was back in the city. You’d seen the news reports of Spider-Man once again in New York. The first one had popped up the same day you’d ran into him. You caught yourself thinking about him often as you walked around campus, knowing he was there somewhere as well, walking those same grounds (or swinging maybe). It was weird. It was weird working with him on the paper and yet…there was something when you were with Peter, something you hadn’t felt in almost 2 years. Something a part of you knew, deep down, that you would never feel with anyone else.

“Funny seeing you here.” You’d know that voice absolutely anywhere. It was how you’d first discovered him as Spider-Man, after all.

You turned, coming face-to-face with Peter. He was in a dark grey t-shirt that fit him like a glove, dark washed jeans, and a beat up pair of converse he’d had since you’d known him. He looked every bit the boy you once knew, only less boy and more man now. That was another change you hadn’t gotten used to.

“Is it?” You asked, because something in his tone told you he’d expected to find you here.

“No,” he shook his head, “I remembered you always came for walks here when you were having a rough time and after everything that happened last night…lucky guess.”

Stupid, annoying, confusing, infuriating, Peter Parker.

Of course, he knew where to find you. “You always were a genius.” You said as you continued to walk slowly, Peter picking up pace to stride beside you.

“Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out, to figure you out. I know you Ace, no matter what, I’ll always know you.”

James doesn’t know you, he never would’ve known where to find you and you weren’t even sure he’d bother looking—

No, you had to stop that. Comparing the two of them wasn’t going to get you anywhere except all stuck in your head. Peter wasn’t yours, not anymore, no matter how well he knew you. He’d made sure of that.

“Well did you want something?” You weren’t exactly being pleasant, but you also couldn’t bring yourself to care. You couldn’t believe you’d apologized to him for being ‘snappy’ because right now all you could think was how much he deserved it.

He stopped his walking and grabbed your elbow, stopping you as well, “I know I was a dick last night, hell, I know I’ve been a dick to you far before last night, but I wanna make it up to you if you’ll let me. I care about you Ace. I always will.”

You didn’t care about me when you ghosted me, you didn’t care about me when you stood me up on winter break, you didn’t care about me when you left me and moved all the way to North Carolina—

That wasn’t going to do anything but make you miserable, and even more snappy. You sucked in a deep breath. He was here. Might as well get what you needed from him, right?

“I’m gonna need to ask you a few questions, y’know, just basic stuff. For the article.”

Peter grinned as if that was exactly what he was hoping you’d say. “Yeah, yeah sure. Of course, anything.”

You had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing. He was so ready and willing to give you everything you asked for, you were sure if you demanded he hand you his wallet, he wouldn’t object.

You pulled out your notepad and pen from your tote bag, extremely grateful you always kept them on hand. Flipping open to a new page, you clicked your pen, flipped your hair over your shoulder, and cleared your throat, “Social security number, date of birth, and the last thing you ate in full detail?”

Peter choked out a laugh, “Um, okay. I don’t have it memorized, August 10th 2001, and a medium toasted bagel with extra cream cheese, no seasoning.”

“No seasoning?” You asked, scrunching up your nose in disgust. “What, so you just like plain, boring bagels like an old man?”

“Hey,” he jumped to his own defense, “no hating on plain bagels! They’re like the vanilla ice cream of the bagel world, classic. You can never go wrong with a plain bagel. It can never be too much, it can never be too little. It’s just right.”

You snorted, “Alright, keep it in your pants Parker, I think I’ve heard enough. Plain bagels rock.”

“Damn right they do,” he deadpanned.

Chuckling, you remembered something. “Oh my god, are you talking about the bagels from the little cafe next to the library?”

“Yeah! You know it?”

“Know it? Oh my god I practically moved in there during finals week. Have you tried their muffins? You would love them. I know you always hated when muffins are baked too dry because—”

“It’s like eating sand.” You both said in unison. You stared up at him, but he was already looking at you. He had this look in his eyes that was so wholly Peter, you almost couldn’t stand it. It took everything in you but you broke eye contact, clearing your throat before you continued speaking, “So um—tell about your photograph. What was the inspiration behind it? Why did you choose that piece?”

“Photography is often about telling a story, or at least part of it, and this piece…it means a lot to me.” You held your breath as he spoke. “I love the feeling of the picture, or rather, pictures. My piece tells a story about nature. I tried to show the beauty in all aspects of it, and while doing that, I tried to tell a story of my own.”

You tried your hardest not too think to hard about what he was saying. Which was hard considering you were literally the fucking center of this piece he was speaking of. “Your piece was a very well laid-out collage, how long did it take you to put it together?”

“Um,” he scratched the back of his neck, a gesture so familiar it felt like your heart was crying, “well I joined pretty last minute, so about a week, but I was cramming the whole time.”

You went quiet for a few minutes before coming up with your next question. “Was that your first choice? The piece I mean.” It wasn’t really relevant to the article but…you were curious.

“I was going to do something with constellations,” he admitted.

Oh. Thank god he didn’t. You might’ve lost your mind.

“But those are harder to catch on camera, and I entered last minute,” he finished. “Plus,” he added, looking up at the clear blue morning sky, “my favorites are mostly visible during autumn.”

You felt like your heart was going to stop. So much history, so many unspoken things between the two of you. A part of you swore you could feel the tension wrapping itself around you and tightening, making it harder and harder to breathe the more time you spent with him.

You don’t know how long the two of you walked in silence before he finally spoke up again, his voice hoarser than it was a few moments ago. “I thought of you every night you know.” You didn’t need to ask to know what he was talking about. “You could see them more clearly over there, the stars, and I thought of you every time. Not just because of the stars but…they were just a bigger reminder.”

“Peter—”

“You never did tell me what you thought of it. The collage.”

You paused. You weren’t sure what you thought of it. Objectively it was a great piece, beautiful, maybe one of his best works. It had won first place for a reason. But how the hell were you supposed to be objective about any of this? “I—I think it was well-deserving of its award.”

He let out a small chuckle, “Seriously Ace? Save that kinda talk for the article, tell me the truth.”

You paused, trying to figure out the right words. Taking in a deep breath, you said, “It was beautiful Pete, even if it was a little weird just seeing myself like that. I think it might be one of the most creative and beautiful things you’ve created. I understand what you mean,” gentler now, “about the feelings and the story and everything…I think you portrayed that really well.”

It went quiet between the two of you again and you wondered if you shouldn’t have said that. You were about to make up another question but he beat you to it, “I kept trying to convince myself that I wasn’t coming back here for you, that I didn’t have any expectations for us and that this whole transfer was completely irrelevant to how we ended things but that isn’t true. And I always knew it deep down, but I hit me like a bag of bricks when I saw you again.”

This couldn’t be real. He couldn’t be really saying all this, you had to be dreaming. You had a boyfriend, Peter broke up with you, he didn’t want you any more. Right? He couldn’t just come here after not talking to you for over a year and claim he transferred schools because of you. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t get to just dump all that on you.

“You were doing fine over there Peter, I heard everything. You had amazing grades, you were winning awards. You basically owned that school. So why’d you come back?”

“Okay, well you’re kinda over exaggerating. It wasn’t that great.”

You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes, “Don’t give me that bullshit, yeah it was. It was everything you were wishing it would be.”

“No it wasn’t!” He burst out, hands running through his hair. “I tried to enjoy it Ace, I really did. But I couldn’t.” He looked at you with a pained expression. “I should’ve been having the time of my life, because yeah, in theory, it was everything I could’ve wished for. But I couldn’t enjoy a goddamn thing knowing you were over here, living a whole life I wasn’t a part of. Being away from you killed me Ace, everything I said to you on graduation? That shit ripped my fucking heart out. I didn’t want it anymore than you did.”

Tears collected in his waterline and you felt a lump in your throat. Were you finally getting the explanation you’d dreamed and hoped for over and over? Why did you feel so nauseous? “I probably wanted it less, if I’m being honest,” he laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I hated it over there Ace, not a second went by where you weren’t on my mind, not a night went by where you weren’t in my dreams. I know this is probably the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard but you need to believe me, I thought I was doing what was right that day on graduation. I really, truly thought that you would be happier if I did that. Not at first maybe, but eventually.” His voice got quieter and he sounded so raw, so emotional, you almost burst into sobs, “And that’s all I’ve ever wanted, I just want you to be happy Y/N.”

You swore you felt your heart split in half. Peter never called you by your name. Not since that night on your fire escape when you’d patched him up after a rough night of being Spider-Man and he first bestowed upon you his personal title, claiming that it ‘just suited you’.

You froze. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint what you were feeling, but it was a lot. “I—I have,” you cleared your throat to keep your voice from breaking, “I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

“Ace, wait, please.”

But you didn’t. This time, you were the one who ran away.

‘seasonal’ taglist: @keira-kaz2y5 @imafangirlofeverything @lov3vivian

@starsformiles @rkivesfilm

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sourholland · 2 years ago

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WELCOME TO THE STYLE MASTERLIST

series based off of taylor swift’s song style

Summary → He’s the Quarterback of the Cincinnati Bengals, a worldwide heartthrob with an ego the size of Lake Erie—but does he have the heart to match it? You’re the Bengals newest cheerleader, desperate to prove how much you deserve your spot on the team. It doesn’t take much to catch the eye of Joe Burrow, however that isn’t necessarily a good thing when you’re told that any romantic relations between cheerleaders and players is strictly prohibited.

AN → Honestly this idea came to me pretty suddenly, it wasn’t very premeditated. I’m not sure anyone will be interested in reading it, this is me kinda testing the waters. I’m just going through a crazy sad breakup so I’m kinda just trying to get back into the things I love to do, writing being one of them. Also, I kinda just want to get my mind off stuff and who doesn’t love Joe Burrow haha. As always, let me know to be added to the tag list :)

Pairing(s) → Joe Burrow x Fem!Reader

Warnings → Strong Language, Alcohol Use, Mature Themes/NSFW Themes, Angst, Injury, Forbidden Love, More to Come

PLAYLIST

PART ONE - No Headlights

PART TWO - Good Girl

PART THREE - James Dean

PART FOUR - His Wild Eyes

PART FIVE - Taking Off His Coat

PART SIX - Tell You To Leave

Teaser →

After a rigorous auditioning process with over a thousand girls trying to earn their spot on the Bengal’s Cheerleading Squad, only forty made the cut. Most returners, some new like yourself. You’d watched girls break bones, continuing to audition on them to have a shot on the squad. Many left in tears, cut and sent home with hardly any reason why.

There was a little bit of metaphorical survivor’s guilt after you’d made the team, knowing this wasn’t your dream like it was for some others. This was only a season or two commitment for you while you finished up your last year of college. Then you’d become a teacher, something you’d had a passion for over the years. Cheerleading was more so a hobby, you’d danced all of your life and had cheered in high school. This wasn’t going to be your livelihood, nor did it offer you the funds to live off of for more than a short while.

There were plenty of rules to follow, many of which had you questioning if this was truly what you wanted. The handbook they’d given you was thick, although some of the girls had told you that they’d lessened up on the requirements over the years after a lawsuit had been filed. In the end, it wasn’t so bad. Tedious, but still a very surreal experience.

From about April to the middle of July, it was practice twice a week from 7:30 at night to about 11. There was a separate facility used to work and condition through the colder months, just following the Super Bowl. Once pre-season truly began, the whole team moved practice facilities. This put you in the same place as the Bengals practiced, giving you more field time than gym time to get acclimated. It was different, especially due to the fact that players and cheerleaders were placed at an arms length most of the time.

The afternoon of the first practice at the new stadium, you’d all been given the talk. This was basically your coaches and executives way of saying that if anyone found out that anyone off the squad had anything more than a friendly, professional relationship with one of the players—they’d be either cut or sanctioned. It was bad for the image of the team, making it bad for those in charge.

It shouldn’t have been a problem.

That first night practice in August was tough, you were coming off of a sprained ankle and the heat was blistering even at 8 at night. Amanda, your head coach, sent you inside to grab some ice from the athletic trainer to bring back out to the field. There was a stigma around the coaching and treatment of NFL cheerleaders, but you’d mostly had a decent experience so far. Your coaches did care that you were healthy and equipped to cheer.

Adorned in a slightly baggy Bengals T-shirt and spandex, you walked through the empty halls of the mostly deserted facility. The players had just ended their practice about an hour earlier, you watched them all exit into the locker room. That meant that mostly everyone had called it a night, heading home. The cheerleaders stayed late because practice was meant to be after work or class, it wasn’t a full-time job.

The door to the athletic trainers office was slightly ajar, the light on. Pushing it open slightly, you stepped in with furrowed eyebrows and a curious look. On the large medical table, ice in hand, sat Joe Borrow still in his practice jersey and shorts. The office was empty besides him, trainer nowhere to be seen.

He was a good looking guy, you’d give him that. Maybe it was the fact that he was 6’4 or maybe it was the fact that he was really fucking good at his sport. He looked up at you and gave a friendly grin, laying the ice on his knee.

“Emily said she was heading home about a half hour ago, her kid was sick or something so she had to pick him up from the babysitter,” Joe told you politely. “I came in just as she was like walking out, she just told me to lock up the office when I was done.”

Someone was clearly a rambler.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I was just going to grab some ice.”

He nodded and went silent while you walked over to the ice maker, taking the plastic scooper and putting some of it into a plastic bag. He was still looking at you, making it obvious as you saw him from your peripheral. Twisting the bag, you felt slightly awkward just standing there in silence.

“I’m Joe,” he spoke again.

“Y/N,” you turned back towards him. “It’s nice to meet you.”

He extended a hand towards you, smiling as you took it and shook it softly. When you broke from his grip, he remained looking at you. He was definitely one of those people who looked you right in the eyes through the entire conversation. You didn’t know if this made you particularly uncomfortable or slightly excited.

“You’re a cheerleader.”

“Was that a question?” You chuckled, “I think that’s pretty obvious.”

“No, no. I was kind of just thinking out loud.”

He was easily flustered, that much was obvious. He repositioned the bag of ice and looked back up at you with slightly pink cheeks. This made you want to crack a grin, feeling like you were talking to a boy for the first time ever or something.

“I should head back to practice,” you told him, watching him slowly nod in understanding.

“Yeah, of course,” Joe smiled. “It was nice meeting you, Y/N.”

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list :)

#joe burrow smut #joe burrow imagines #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x yn #joe burrow series #joe sheisty #joe burrow blurb #joe burrow fluff #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow fic

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keyotos · 2 years ago

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so it goes...

summary − what taylor swift album & song do the hsr men and their love resemble?

includes — dan heng, gepard, blade, sampo, & jing yuan!

tana’s words — self indulgent swiftie attempts to do song analysis and write romance! if u have any other ideas for hcs/fics/etc lmk in my ask box!!

dan heng

definitely belongs on the evermore album

i'm seeing long story short or tis the damn season

⎯ but most importantly: WILLOW

when she says “head on the pillow i can feel you sneaking in as if you were a mythical thing.” LIKE IS THAT NOT DAN HENG.

or i could be extremely self indulgent idk

⎯ i believe dan heng is a big YEARNER

the thing about the evermore album is that it just feels like a long and yearned reunion. it’s like coming full circle.

you and dan heng’s relationship would be similar to that. after all the long and exhausting days you two would always find yourselves circling back to each other. like, you two are both there when you two need each other.

your relationship is calm and based on pining (long story short). you would think it’s one-sided, but little did you know that it was mutual.

⎯ WHEN SHE SAYS “you know that my train can take you home. anywhere else is hollow.”

due to the both of you probably traveling on the astral express, so the both of you don’t actually have a “home.”

“you know that my train can take you home,” relates to your relationship w/ dan heng because simply your presence is his home. and it also relates to the astral express too BUT YOUR PRESENCE = HIS PEACE.

⎯ it’s literally such a small and simple thing, but it means a lot to dan heng. just having you around is like bliss to him, and it’s the little things that matter.

— the themes of coming back to a person in evermore is SO dan heng. if anything happens, you are the first person he’d check on. you are the first thought in his mind when he wakes up. wherever his mind (or body) goes, it’s always back to you. he’s completely bewitched with you. like YOU ARE THE FIRST THING ON HIS MIND.

gepard

omg he is most definitely fearless.

⎯ he’s either fearless or red but i’m definitely leaning towards fearless

⎯ if his love was to be defined in a song it would either be jump then fall or untouchable. those are the top 2.

⎯ maybe fearless…

⎯ gepard is def a fearless boy bc like THAT WHOLE ALBUM IS JUST SO SWEET. like your relationship with him would be the sweetest thing in the world.

TELL ME NONE OF THESE LYRICS RESONATE

“untouchable, burning brighter than the sun. and when you’re close i feel like coming undone.” OR “in the middle of the night waking from this dream, i wanna feel you by my side standing next to me.” - untouchable

“every time you smile, i smile. and every time you shine, i’ll shine for you. don’t be afraid to jump then fall into me.” - jump then fall

LIKE…

love w/ gepard is pure and untouchable (yes). there is nothing but love between your relationship.

he definitely admires you. he is 100% the type of person to take candid photos of you just to look at them if he’s at work. he wants to be his best for you, and he just enjoys everything about you.

the thrill of a new relationship is still alive in your relationship with gepard. it doesn’t matter if you guys have been dating for like 2 years. gepard will still get so red if you kiss him. the same exciting feeling he got every time he kissed you is still there

— every time he kisses you (which is surprisingly often; not in public tho) he gets so red. but the same warmth and giddy feeling from your first kiss is still there.

the thing abt fearless is that it’s such an innocent and cute album. it’s similar to your relationship w/ gepard in a way that your relationship captures that feeling of everlasting and innocent love.

blade

reputation. maybe midnights ngl.

⎯ reputation is one of taylor’s most romantic albums and honestly blade lowk gives me romantic energy.

⎯ i can see midnights but i think i’m leaning more towards rep here.

⎯ so many good songs on rep that could describe blade but i think i’m going to go with delicate or dress. so it goes is also a close third.

most ppl usually associate rep w feelings of revenge. but most people overlook the super sweet love songs on the album.

rep is similar to blade’s love in that way. most people overlook it, thinking that nothing more than a fling or it’s disingenuous.

however, they couldn’t be nothing but wrong. blade loves you. he cherishes you more than anyone (even you) knows.

also like REP’S LYRICS?? SO ROMANTIC LIKE

“my one and only my lifeline.” (dress).

“everyone thinks they know us.” (dress).

“even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me.” (dress).

— does that not describe you and blade. like, he would literally do anything you say. he’d listen to you for hours and hours because nothing matters more to him then you.

— you two don’t pay attention to the rumors (that are terrible and cruel) or what anyone else says, because to blade, you being by his side is more important.

— and i think hurt and comfort would work well too. like, there could be terrible things happening rn and shit is going down. but throughout it all, you are the one constant that holds him down. through all the hazards, you still love him and he appreciates your love greatly.

sampo

— lover. i thought he’d be 1989 at first but he is definitely lover.

— i am seeing false god, i think he knows, or miss americana and the heartbreak prince.

your love would be fun and happy, much like the album lover (minus soon you’ll get better). it’s fulfilling and it always finds a way to surprise you.

— though some find parts of lover annoying (me!), they don’t really spend a lot of time to look into the lyrics of the album.

much like your love w/ sampo: people dislike him and wonder how he managed to get a girl like you to fall in love with him.

what they don’t know is that he’s (shockingly) kind?? and he cares about you?? and he remembers all the small things you like??? and he’ll always be right there when anything happens to you??

lover itself is such a cheerful and sweet album and i think it really describes his love: loud and sweet. he’ll do embarrassing things and he will probably get on your nerves, but throughout all of that he’s still caring and loving.

— “they say the road gets hard when you’re lead by blind faith. but we might just get away with it.”

— ITS SUCH A ROMANTIC AND UNDERRATED LINE THAT COMPLETELY DEFINES UR RELATIONSHIP

even though people think your relationship is set up to fail, you two are both determined to prove them wrong bc that’s how strong your love for each other is. he is never letting you go and you will do the same.

jing yuan

— midnights! no doubt abt it.

— sweet nothing, labyrinth, and MAYBE snow on the beach

— sweet nothing is HIS SONG. like THAT IS HIM.

his live is so packed and there’s so much going on. he’s juggling yanqing and generaling and it can be too much sometimes.

— “i find myself running into your sweet nothing.”

— “all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.”

— “and the voices that implore, ‘you should be doing more.’ to you i can admit that i’m just too soft for all of it.”

LIKEEEE. HES JUST TO SOFT FOR ALL OF IT. that’s why you’re his safe space. you never required anything from him and you just love him AND THATS ENOUGH.

he doesn’t need to be a mighty general or a strict master; he can just BE HIMSELF around you. he lets all his walls down and he’s fully vulnerable and YOU LOVE HIM LIKE THAT.

— this isn’t just a one way street btw. he loves you just as much as you love him.

there are no expectations between the two of you. you guys are such a HEALTHY couple. with all the worries in the world your love still prevails and i just think that is very sweet.

#tana writes (∗´ ᨔ `∗)#honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #dan heng x reader #dan heng x you #dan heng #gepard x reader #gepard x you #gepard landau #blade x reader #blade x you #sampo x reader #sampo x you

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storiesofleftoverghosts · 10 months ago

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dating RE2R!Leon Kennedy... and what Taylor Swift songs it would be like

pairings: Leon Kennedy x GN!Reader

warnings: just your typical canon violence mentioned, Leon's trauma is discussed.

requested?: nope!

word count: 2343

a/n: guys i'm sorry for being gone for so long! i said i was gonna post this on sunday but i have commitment issues. so yeah this is my take on Leon Kennedy. specifically RE2R!Leon. i want to do all eras (if you will) of Leon but i'm nervous that i'm gonna like...BUTCHER his character. so sorry if he's out of character or anything! also this is a long one so buckle up.

also if you're new to my blog then these are headcanons mixed with Taylor Swift inspired blurb type of thing at the end.

okay being honest y'all

dating Leon before and after Raccoon City are way two different experiences (because duh trauma and all that good shit)

so let's start with before Raccoon City

a common thing I see is that he's like a puppy dog which ok yeah

but I'd like to put my own spin on him ok?

anyway

even before Raccoon City, Leon is definitely traumatized from his family yknow…

being brutally murdered

which makes him hesitant to get into a relationship

but when he first meets you, he’s already absolutely smitten

I picture Leon to be a very awkward yet sweet lover

like sure he's had partners before you but I think you'd be the first person he sees a realistic future with

he doesn’t want to ruin anything with you

he may be a 21 year old man

but romance and being in love makes him feel/act like a blushing high school girl

what can he say? he's a hopeless romantic

he's the type to remember small anniversaries at the beginning of y'all dating

and makes somewhat of a big deal out of them

"happy 4 months babe! I got us dinner reservations at (your favorite restaurant) :)"

oh yeah he loves to use pet names

babe and honey are the names he uses the most

chivalry isn't dead when it comes to Leon

always holding doors for you

getting you "just because" flowers

definitely is the type of guy to wait for you to tie your shoe while everyone else is walking ahead

his love language receiving is physical touch and giving love language is words of affirmation

knows you can stand up for yourself but won't hesitate to put someone in their place for you

taking things super slow because he doesn't want to rush into things

didn't actually kiss you until the fifth date

and he asked for permission of course

holds your hand every time you guys go out together

his favorite types of dates would be walks through the park and picnics

it's cheesy sure but classic and he loves to hear you talk

also loves to make you laugh

one of his favorite sounds to exist

has tried to cook a romantic dinner for you once

but got distracted by how beautiful you are and almost burnt the place down

yes he almost died from embarrassment but eating take out and cuddling with you was worth it

mans is such a supportive boyfriend and your #1 fan

he loves to imagine your guys’ future together

when he gets into the police academy he's a bit worried about the relationship

but when he sees your eyes light up and the way you squeeze him once he tells you the news

he wants to laugh at himself for having doubts in the first place

dating while he was in the academy was tough but y'all made it work

was shocked when you agreed to come with him to Raccoon City

but happy nonetheless

wow! everything he's ever dreamed of is coming true

your guys relationship is stronger than ever and you both are on the path to success

what could go wrong??

...Raccoon City is what could go wrong.

so your relationship after the events of Raccoon City is... different

you weren't there with him during that unfortunate night in Raccoon City

he thanks God or whatever higher being for that

truthfully you were one of the things that got him through that fateful night

whenever it felt hopeless, he thought about your smile and the way your eyes crinkle when you do

that kept him going throughout the horrors he saw

also just the fact that he wanted to tell you “I love you” one last time

trying not to throw up when you hear about Raccoon City

not being able to get ahold of Leon was one of the worse things you'd ever been through

finally getting a hold of him and the both of you sobbing into the phone

"I thought you were gone and I was going to be alone-" "I would never leave you. Never in a million years."

when you finally see him, you give him a long hug

you were careful about touching his shoulder of course

he's not exactly the Leon you knew before

the light that used to sparkle in his eyes had been put out

but he still looks at you like you hung the moon in the sky

being there by his side during nightmares and calming him down

helping take care of his shoulder wound for a while

studying up on PTSD to understand him better

squeezing his hand when he gets that faraway look in his eyes

patience and understanding becoming your best friends

doesn't open up right away with what happened in Raccoon City

if/when he does, it's a loooong night of him slowly opening up and talking about it

and you of course listening

holding him and being gentle with him when he eventually breaks down

sometimes he lashes out at you when he's in that headspace

but he immediately apologizes after and that brings him out of it

constantly reassuring him about things

the date nights y'all have now consists of ordering take out and cuddling on the couch

binge watching cheesy sitcom series becomes another way of spending time together

it’s a way of trying to hold onto the sliver of normalcy between you two

he feels bad about not being ready to go out in the world yet but again you reassure him it's okay

embarrassed that you take care of him because he thinks it should be the other way around

he was already protective of you before Raccoon City

but he becomes even more protective after

mans is like a guard dog okay?

he's not trying to be overbearing, he just wants to know where you're going out to incase something happens

reminiscing on his favorite memories with you before everything happened

having you by his side helps ground him when he feels a panic attack coming on

communication becomes more important than ever (even if it's the hardest thing he can do sometimes)

him thinking you deserve better than him

yet being so in love with you that the thought of losing you makes him physically ill

makes sure to tell you that he loves you at least once a day because that’s all he could think about during Raccoon City

no he doesn't tell you about how the government threatened yours and Sherry's lives if he didn't join

that isn’t your burden to shoulder

he tries to do his best with keeping certain details from you

mostly because it makes him sick to think about and he doesn’t want you to worry more

you're the last thing he has from his life before Raccoon City

he wouldn't dare dream of letting you go

can't imagine his life without you

Okay so this was a bit tricky for me! I personally think that Fearless (from Fearless (Taylor’s Version)) and The Great War (from Midnights) fit RE2R!Leon the best. For those who aren’t familiar with Taylor’s music, Fearless is about the start of a relationship and the fearlessness of falling in love. I think that it’s a happy and upbeat love song and perfectly fits RE2R!Leon before Raccoon City. The Great War is about a couple having a rough patch in their relationship, but promising each other they’ll stick together throughout it. Which if that doesn’t scream post Raccoon City Leon then I don’t know what does.

…

Leon may have physically survived that devastating night in Raccoon City, but mentally, huge pieces of who he was had died. No longer was he that bright eyed rookie ready to help change the world. Now he was an ex cop who got an unwanted promotion that only reminded him of the horrors he witnessed.

Hopelessness was something that hung in the back of his mind every day. His smile didn’t reach his eyes anymore. It had only been two months, but he was still constantly on his guard. Even when he attempted to get some sleep, he couldn’t allow himself to relax. Nightmares of what happened in Raccoon City had constantly plagued his dreams. Sometimes he swore he could hear that monster’s loud footsteps down the hallway in the shared apartment.

One of the only things that seemed to keep him pushing through the dark was his partner. Being around you helped calm his racing mind. You were like a warm blanket in the cold darkness his mind had been in the past month. No matter what, your hand was the thing he had constantly been reaching out for.

Small things would trigger unpleasant flashbacks which made his stomach turn. A week ago you had accidentally dropped a pan you were reaching for, and the loud bang sounded too much like a gunshot for comfort. One moment he was in his apartment and the next he was back in Raccoon City. He could smell the rotting flesh and hear the groans of the undead. His breathing had quickened, and he immediately got ready to defend himself from monsters that Guilt ate at you as you attempted to calm him down.

"Leon honey, it's okay. You're at home with me. You’re having a flashback." Your honey coated voice reminded him. This wasn’t the first time he had an episode and it wouldn’t be the last. After a few minutes of reminding him to describe his surroundings and breath, you finally managed to coax him out of that state of mind. It had become second nature for you to remind him that nothing from Raccoon City could get to him anymore. When he finally was able to calm down, he immediately reached for you. Tears had brimmed his eyes and seeing that broken look on his face crushed your heart. Why must good people like him go through the worst things?

The worse thing for Leon is when he would unintentionally lash out at you. He couldn't stop the venomous words that accidentally left his mouth. Punishing for things you never did left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Jesus Christ, just leave me alone for a moment!" He'd snapped the other day when it had been particularly hard to get out of bed. You had been asking him questions about how he was feeling, and if he needed anything. Just being a caring partner. God the look of hurt that had flashed upon your face was one he could never forget. Apologies had never escaped from him faster than that moment. It was like putting Band-Aids over bullet holes (no pun intended) and he knew that these outbursts of his weren’t fair to you.

You were an angel sent down from heaven, this was something he was sure of. Why did he have to keep flying off the handle over the smallest things? Realistically he knew that you were only human and made mistakes. He knew you were just trying to take care of him. Dark circles had begun to form under your eyes from the lack of sleep you had been getting. That was because of him and his night terrors. His heart ached for you, and he had never hated himself more for that.

Leon was so caught up in his thoughts about you and everything that he hadn’t noticed you enter the small living room. The first thing you had noticed was that faraway look in his eyes. You had called out his name before making your way to sit by him on the leather couch. Hearing your voice made him come back to earth, and his thoughts grew quiet once he saw you.

“Hey love. You alright?” Your voice was gentle as you reached for his hand. He hadn’t hesitated to grab it. Of course you knew he wasn’t okay. Leon usually wore his heart on his sleeve. Your thumb gingerly rubbed his knuckles as you waited for his response. Leon was hesitant to tell you everything he had been thinking. After an internal debate, he figured it’s the least he could do as your boyfriend.

“I’m…sorry for snapping at you the past couple of months.” He finally responded after a moment. You furrowed your eyebrows in response. As much as you had appreciated his apology, it felt like it came out of nowhere. What the hell had triggered this?

“I’m sorry about being the reason you haven’t slept well, and just sorry in general. You deserve better than me.” Words were overflowing from his mouth before he could stop it. He squeezed your hand as he continued. “I don’t know why I’ve been so… awful towards you and there’s just-“

“Leon stop.” You interrupted him. For a moment he seemed like his old self as he looked at her with those puppy dog eyes of his. “Look, I appreciate your apology. But you also just went through a traumatic experience. You’re not gonna just bounce back.”

Scooting closer, you wrapped your arms around his waist. Your head rested on his chest and you could hear his heartbeat. It was a soothing sound, reminding you that your boyfriend was alive and here in your arms. His arms fell into place on your back.

“I don’t care if you think I “deserve better”. You’re what I want, no matter what. I will always be yours.” Pulling yourself back, you cupped his cheeks into your hands. Hearing you vow your love to him like that made his heart flutter. Leaning forward, you planted a soft yet tender kiss on his lips.

Yes, Leon knew that there was no way in hell you guys could return back to the way your relationship was before. He wasn’t the same person as before, but he was slowly realizing you weren’t the same person either. In this moment with you, he knew you guys would survive this war zone inside his head.

He would make sure of it.

#leon kennedy x reader #re2r leon x reader #re2r leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #resident evil #resident evil x reader #reader insert #taylor swift inspired fanfic #taylor swift #elliessodashop

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junostarot · 3 months ago

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pick-a-pile reading

🍒 who has their eye on you in your dr?

choose an image above that you feel most drawn to, then scroll down to find the associated pile. don’t force any messages: take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. your selection will reveal who is romantically interested in you, and what your relationship would be like in your desired reality!

PILE ONE

key words & symbols … books. 444. green. nature. red string of fate / soul ties. autumn or changing of seasons.

this individual is likely an animal person, feeling very drawn to care for them and spend time with them. they may also have a dash of golden retriever energy and a more upbeat personality. with physical touch as their love language, they love giving forehead kisses with your face cradled in their hands, or interlocking your pinkies just to feel connected to you. you two may have a bit of a grumpy x sunshine dynamic at times, with your dr self being a bit more reserved or introverted. they want you to feel loved unconditionally, regardless of what you think of yourself and your past. close friends to lovers, or a friend you never expected to fall for. your love is like autumn, like the scent of apples and cinnamon or feeling a crisp breeze while wearing a warm sweater. halloween likely has a special place in both of your hearts.

“I want to stay on the back porch while the world tilts toward sleep, until what I love misses me, and calls me in.” — Dorianne Laux, from "On the Back Porch," Only As the Day Is Long: New and Selected Poems.

PILE TWO

key words & symbols … sea, ocean. stars, night sky, starlight. snow/cold. 777. wolves, canines. the letters k & a. the colors white & pink. roses. rabbits or lambs.

this is someone who wants to know more about the world around them, through exploration and introspection. they are dedicated to learning about themselves, healing, and growing on their path. this person may have been a lone wolf for a while before meeting you, but having you around is like following the north star to solace. they care deeply about protecting you and ensuring that you are safe. quality time is important to them, even if it's just sitting in silence while you watch the sky (stargazing or watching the clouds). they prefer silence and keeping their distance from most people, but you're an exception.

“Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.” — Safe & Sound by Taylor Swift.

“I touch you, straighten the sheet, you turn over in the bed, tender / sun comes through the curtains / which of us will survive / which of us will survive the other.” — Margaret Atwood, from "There Are Better Ways of Doing This."

“She's waving hi, her other hand's in mine ... She's got my back, she'll follow me down every street, no matter what my crime.” — Amsterdam by Gregory Alan Isakov.

PILE THREE

key words & symbols … butterflies. orange. tangerine. red. yellow/gold. crown. the letter p. angels or angelic/heavenly imagery.

this person has tried hard to be as soft as they are now, especially with their past behind them; they have experienced events that would make anyone else turn to rage and hurt, but they don't want that for themself. they want to be someone loyal and trustworthy, a person you can turn to when you need it most. when other parts of their life feel uncertain or unpredictable, they know that you're a constant. they find comfort in your arms, like listening to a long-time favorite song that never fails to make your heart feel warm inside. they love french fries and trying new foods (they're likely always hungry, possibly due to superpowers of some kind and needing to fuel themselves for extra energy).

“Save me, I'm lost. Oh, Lord, I've been waiting for you. I'll pay any cost, save me from being confused. Show me what I'm looking for.” — Show Me What I'm Looking For by Carolina Liar

“Since I met you, I've felt abandoned without your nearness; your nearness is all I ever dream of, the only thing.” — Franz Kafka, The Castle.

“When you cycled by, here began all my dreams ... And you never knew how much I really liked you, because I never even told you. Oh, and I meant to Are you still there, or have you moved away?” — Back To The Old House by The Smiths

#shifters #anti shifters dni #shifting reading #channeled reading #shifting #reality shifting #dr s/o #dr reading #desired reality #shiftblr #Spotify

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vallettamango · 1 month ago

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Will Solace’s Playlist

These are songs I feel like he would totally listen and fit his vibe. Like he would be a total swiftie and love her country era. I feel like he would listen to this in the form of CD, he’d burn a CD when he’s visiting home and bring it w him to play at camp. Also Ik not all these songs were even out in the 2000s but ignore that.

—

Strawberry Blond - Mitski

Our song - Taylor swift

Head Over Heels - tears for fears

Slipping through my fingers - ABBA

Hey Lover! - Wabie

Fainter Love - Conan Gray

Southern Nights - Glen Cambell

Fearless - Taylor Swift

Viva La vida - Coldplay

Good old fashion lover boy - Queen

The Great War - Taylor Swift

Shut up and dance - walk the moon

Holding out for a hero - Bonnie Tyler

New Romantics - Taylor Swift

Little league - Conan gray

A-punk - vampire weekend

High school lover - cayucas

i hate texas - mxmtoon

Beautiful Boy - John Lennon

So high school - Taylor Swift

Wish you were sober - Conan Gray

Dumb & Poetic - Sabrina Carpenter

Scrawny - Wallows

Angel eyes - ABBA

#will solace #nico di angelo #headcanon #percy jackson #apollo cabin #pjo hoo toa #percy jackon and the olympians #solangelo #trials of apollo #percy series #apollo

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mermaidinthecity · 5 days ago

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Prologue

To put it plainly, we just couldn’t stop writing songs. To try and put it more poetically, it feels like we were standing on the edge of the folklorian woods and had a choice: to turn and go back or to travel further into the forest of this music. We chose to wander deeper in and my collaborators and I are proud to announce that my 9th studio album and folklore’s sister record is here. It’s called evermore.

I’ve never done this before. In the past I’ve always treated albums as onе-off eras and moved onto planning the nеxt one as soon as an album was released. There was something different with folklore. In making it, I felt less like I was departing and more like I was returning. I loved the escapism I found in these imaginary/not imaginary tales. I loved the ways you welcomed the dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found. So I just kept writing them. And I loved creating these songs with Aaron Dessner, Jack Antonoff, WB, and Justin Vernon. We’ve also welcomed some new (and longtime) friends to our musical kitchen table this time around…

Before I knew it there were 17 tales, some of which are mirrored or intersecting with one another. The one about two young con artists who fall in love while hanging out at fancy resorts trying to score rich romantic beneficiaries. The one where longtime college sweethearts had very different plans for the same night, one to end it and one who brought a ring. Dorothea, the girl who left her small town to chase down Hollywood dreams – and what happens when she comes back for the holidays and rediscovers an old flame. The ‘unhappily ever after’ anthology of marriages gone bad that includes infidelity, ambivalent toleration, and even murder. The most righteous motive, to avenge the fallen. The realization that maybe the only path to healing is to wish happiness on the one who took it away from you. One starring my grandmother, Marjorie, who still visits me sometimes…if only in my dreams.

I wanted to surprise you with this the week of my 31st birthday. You’ve all been so caring, supportive and thoughtful on my birthdays and so this time I wanted to give you something! I also know this holiday season will be a lonely one for most of us and if there are any of you out there who turn to music to cope with missing loved ones the way I do, this is for you.

I have no idea what will come next. I have no idea about a lot of things these days and so I’ve clung to the one thing that keeps me connected to you all. That thing always has and always will be music.

And may it continue, evermore.

Taylor

— Taylor Swift, Evermore (2020)

#taylor swift #tswiftedit #taylorswiftedit #album notes #evermore booklet #2020 #mine #edits #taylor #mermaidinthecity

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lovejosephquinn · 2 years ago

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This is a requested sequel to my first angst imagine: Your First And Last Fight ◀ Read Part 1.

Tags: @chickennug90 @mybffjoe @sweet-villain @aysheashea @ali-r3n

(I'm sorry lmao, I got extremely carried away and 3.4k words later, it's finished. Enjoy the drama lovelies!)

Part 2.

It had been a whole month since you and Joe had parted ways that unforgettable night, regrettably that was the last time you'd seen him when you left him sobbing on the ground. You'd moped around both at home and work, not putting your all into anything, the memory of the whole event just repeating in your mind over and over again. Of course, he'd still tried messaging you in the first couple of weeks but that died down the more you ignored, you just simply couldn't move on from the hurtful words or painful gestures; even just the thought of his ex-girlfriend made you want to hurl your organs out of your mouth, it'd clearly broken your heart.

You'd got no plans this weekend, other than to lay in your own filth and watch a string of senseless romantic comedies, a thing you tended to hate to love right now. Your phone buzzed at the side of you, glancing down it was your best friend calling, putting your device up to your ear you took a deep breath in and put your brave voice on.

"Hey girl, you alright?"

"Yes, just wondering if you were, haven't heard from you in days and was making sure that you're still living."

"Just had a lot on my plate, you know this." The brave voice slowly disappearing.

"Well, I hate to drop this on you." She purely didn't hate to do anything. "But we're going out tonight and you can't say no, you need to let your hair down and forget that idiot for one night at least." The idiot comment was her insinuating Joe in a rather nice tone, just due to the fact she was holding in her rage for what he did and the other reason that was she just didn't want to give you any ammunition to decline.

"I don't know honey, I'm nowhere near the stages of getting ready."

"I'll be round in half an hour, and we'll get you looking hot."

She gave you no room to get a word in, hung up the phone and you scoffed, throwing your phone down to your feet where you laid and rubbed your hands over your face. Looks like you're going out tonight.

Your best friend did just as she said she would, you felt good about yourself for the first time in a while, the drinks you'd shared and the shots you knocked back at your flat gave you your initial new happier and confident feeling. She'd suggested your favourite nightclub whilst you got ready, it only took the name of it to prick up your ears and grab your attention; you were ready for tonight.

The booming of the music got closer as you got to the doors of the club and you could've jumped up and down like an excited child, you were ready to drink yourself silly, sing and dance with your main girl like a loon. You'd worry about the inevitable depression hangover tomorrow. The first point of call was tequila shots, the second was the buy one get one free offer on any cocktail of your choice from the menu, the thing with cocktails is that you don't feel it at first and then the next thing you know you're on the floor.

Little did you know that you were instantly sighted by Joe's best friend, he'd obviously had the same idea in taking him out whilst he had some free time to make him feel better also and it oh so happened that you were in the same place on the same damn night. Your friend dragged you to the dancefloor once you'd got your beverages. Your guilty pleasure Taylor Swift hit the speakers and the relatable lyrics of I knew you were trouble filled the entirety of your lungs, you sang your heart out to the song, feeling every moment of it.

Joe's best friend had done his best to keep him well away from seeing you but being at least 3 metres away from each other probably didn't help when he heard your friend yell your name laughing at the way you were dramatically yelling the song, she filmed the memory well and truly, your hand to your heart as you held your drink into the air, intentionally meaning every word. Joe whipped his head round to find you immediately, his chest was puffing in and out, heart ached excruciatingly, his lungs were in pain not able to get a proper breath out, his body had become stone, not moving his stance whilst he watched you with tears heavily filling his eyelids.

Not more than a moment later, he felt a sudden mild burst of anger hit him when he saw a guy attempting to dance behind you then leaning over to speak in your ear. Interrupting your dancing, you laughed it off and shook your head at the guy who'd asked you if he could buy you a drink. The male wouldn't leave well enough alone and wouldn't take no for an answer, you tried ignoring him to see if it'd make him give up, it didn't work.

The guy grabbed you by your waist and pulled you into him, trying to convince you further to let him do as he'd originally asked, his intentions clear as you felt that of a vulgar press of his crotch against your stomach. You gagged in his face on his purpose, you weren't out looking for a hook up and he knew that it just pursued his want further for you.

Joe was foaming at the mouth and the moment he heard you shout at him to fuck off was the moment Joe moved at a deadly pace through the few people between you and jumped the guy to the ground, punching him square in the jaw. You couldn't believe your eyes; you didn't want to believe what you were seeing was real. Joe had been positioned to the floor now, being dragged forcefully whilst the male took a swing at his face, a small circle forming in the middle of the dancefloor, egging them both on further. You yelled out Joe's name telling them both to stop, your instant reaction was to try and tear them apart, but Joe's best friend heaved for your arm bringing you back as the security guards dragged them to their feet by the scruffs of their neck.

The two heavily built men caught sight of your fearful face and asked what had happened, you pointed out at the stranger "He started it, he wouldn't leave me alone and my friend came into help me." Friend. You may as well had called him a stranger too, that might have made the suffering of the word easier. Calling him that almost felt good, a moment of succession for you in a way. You said it clear enough for Joe to hear you, a dagger to his heart just as it had been to you when he'd named you his close friend to her.

They let Joe go and took the other guy out of the club, warning him not to bother trying to get back in. Then there it was, you and Joe face to face properly after the first time in a month, the longest most torturing month of both your lives. Joe rubbed his hand under his nose where he bled slightly from, the darkness in his eyes from the rage of the moment was now returning to his soft brown stature. You heaved your chest, staring back at him, ignoring everything and everyone in your path as you walked away in a huff.

You sat on the ledge in the busy smoking area, pulling a cigarette to your lips and lighting it, puffing as hard as your lungs could bare. Your best friend gave Joe an earful but slowly calmed down when she declared for him to go out and attempt to talk to you, that was if you'd listen. You noticed the top of Joe's untamed curls emerging out of the double doors and at once you turned to the side, moving your head and whole body to the opposite side of the door; he still spotted you though hunched up on the ledge by yourself. Joe plucked up the courage to sit down next to you, leaning down slightly cupping his hands together between his spread thighs. All but silence between the two of you at first until he spoke up.

"Y/N, are you going to give me a chance to at least make my peace with you? I-"

You cut him off, swinging around to meet his gaze, almost crashing into his arm, you'd underestimated how close he already was sat next to you. "A chance to make peace? Are you fucking kidding me?" The question was almost laughable.

"I gathered you meant what you said about never speaking again when you ignored my calls and messages, but I can't just leave it where it ended, it's not in me to do that at all."

"I'm pretty sure it was in you when you outright called me a close friend to your ex, proceeded to tell me to stop being a bitch and basically caught her mouth with yours. Was all that an accident to? Or are you still blind to her bullshit." Joe furrowed his brows at you, his head internally screaming. Yes, he knew it was all his fault.

"I'm terrified of her Y/N. I said it because deep down I clearly knew her aim at the time and I just-"

A girl interrupted the two of yours now becoming heated debate, she looked really excited as she stared down at Joe. You looked up as she spoke out. "Oh my god, are you Joseph Quinn?" Joe put his best poker face on, his profession coming into full force as he pulled a toothy grin at the girl. "Yes, hi." She screeched at his answer. You folded your arms watching the two of them speak, not quite jealous but this wasn't the time for this to be happening. The girl looked at you "would you mind taking a photo of us please?" You squeezed your eyes shut and then put a fake smile onto the both of them, standing up to take her phone and took the photo she so solely desired in that moment. She thanked you both, hugging Joe and left, you both sat back in your original positions facing one another.

"As I was saying, you backed down to her like a submissive puppy. You're 28 years old, do you not think acting like you probably did as a teenager is a bit much?" Joe was highly defeated by your statement; he was at a loss for words.

"That's what I thought."

Yet another duo of fans stood before him, intruding once more. He didn't want to seem like a bad person, typical Joe, so he took his attention to them. You clearly weren't getting any further and you'd had enough of it all for one night, sure you still loved him with all your heart and that's what didn't help the situation, you wanted to forgive him and believe that it was a mistake, but Joe's lack of actions proved otherwise.

You got up and left him with the girls, not turning back and finding your friend with Joe's talking at a table. "I'm going to get a taxi home; I really just want to go to sleep and forget this whole night." Your best friend hugged you. "Do you want me to come with?"

"No stop out, I just want to be alone, I'll text you once I'm back." You exchanged your goodbyes giving all but a subtle wave and smile to Joe's friend before you left the club. You walked to the taxi rank, waiting for a vehicle to pull up to take you back to your safe place when you heard an unpleasant and familiar voice shout you from across the street.

"Aw hi Y/N." You looked around to meet the redhead, looking smug and highly unattractive in her body language. His. Fucking. Ex. Really? Could this night get any worse?

You slowly blinked at her, no response to her unwelcomed greeting at all. "What's up with you, you still bitter about last month?"

You snorted a laugh in her face. "How dare you even think you're worth a breath from my lungs, you silly cow." You pushed her slightly, squaring right up into her face; you weren't willing to take another word from the girl and she was shaken, probably down to the fact that any girl that she had been out to ruin with Joe never stood up to her. "A lowlife, disgusting little slut like you should've been taught a lesson a long time ago." You slapped her clean across her cheek and watched her grimace at the sting it caused. A small, fulfilled smile creeping onto your face. Joe had quickly caught up behind you, stopping in his tracks, watching as you struck her, he also noticed how she didn't hit you back. He made the effort to drag himself over, watching you eye each other back and forth like a pair ready to go to war.

Your eyes flitted over to Joe and so did hers, putting her best whiny voice on. "Oh my god Joe, she attacked me, she's an absolute psychopath, did you see it? Did you?"

Joe said nothing, eyeing between you both, proving your point again quite rightly, that was until she tried to embrace him into a hug, and he harshly shoved her away from him. "What the fuck is wrong with you? I've given you the benefit of the doubt maybe a couple of times in my life but then you just took it next level, I've always been afraid to be myself around you. Until now. I don't want anything more to do with you, you've ruined my life for the last time." He spoke his home truth like it had been a speech he'd been practicing for weeks. Your mouth gaped open; you couldn't believe what you'd just heard.

She did nothing but huff at Joe and turned back to you. "You'll leave if you know what's good for you." you stated before she could get a word in. "Is that a threat?" she barked nervous laughter, her confidence clearly belittled but still trying to remain intact. "It's a promise." Joe interrupted your final face off.

"She changed you Joe, you used to be so, so-"

"So, your little bitch? maybe. But this is the last time you'll put a foot in my relationship, do you not realise every time I got a girlfriend or even as much as looked at anyone other than you, you'd break it up without even a second thought, I've let you get away with it for 13 years too long, I should've cut you off the moment we broke up." He turned to you, "that's why I referred to you the way I did that night Y/N, purely because I wasn't blind to her intentions anymore." You looked to the ground, almost humiliated by your thoughts.

"So that's it, you cut me out completely?" she raised her voice at Joe, and he nodded vigorously back at her. "I might not get Y/N back from this, but at least she'll know that I got you out of my life for good, you're an absolute headache now get out of my sight."

She stomped her foot to the ground, nothing clearly more to be said and walked away as she should of long before. You took a glance at a proud Joe, and you must admit you were somewhat also elated for him for finally standing up for himself even if it was almost little too late for it. You turned and walked the other way.

"Y/N, where are you going?"

"Home." you shouted back. You took a curtsy at Joe and applauded. "Well done for being all done with her and shit but I don't know if that's enough for me to forgive you anymore."

Joe sped up his feet to grab your arm, swinging you round to look at him. "Do you still love me?"

"Joe."

His hands gripped into your arms now, holding you in place. "Do you still love me Y/N?"

Tears filled your eyes hard as they fell once you blinked, your lips trembled but you didn't try to escape his grasp, his touch was all too familiar and wonderful, you'd missed it.

With a sigh you admitted. "Yes."

"Then one last kiss, goodbye. Please, I know I'm not in a position to beg you for anything, but I need to feel it one last time." He was right, you owed him nothing, but you couldn't stop your feet from raising onto your tiptoes, holding onto his forearms for support as you leaned in to kiss him, it was short and forceful but desperate as your emotions clearly played on it.

You broke the kiss, watching as Joe's tears mirrored yours. "I love you too. I'm so sorry for everything I did and everything she did too. I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for not speaking my mind sooner. I'm sorry for ruining what we had in a few words, I'm sorry for giving her the ammunition to break what we had. Most of all, I'm sorry that we have to say goodbye." You couldn't deny his apologies were nothing short of admirable, he'd owned up to everything in one breath.

Your already broken heart could not fathom anymore pain that it already held. You were crazy for your next action, your arms finding the back of his neck as you pulled him back into a needy, open-mouthed kiss. His greedy hands pushed at the bottom of your back to keep you as close as he possibly could. If this truly was the last time, you'd feel one another then you'd make it something to remember.

You were by no means a pushover, but your thoughts overtook you whilst you shared the mutual enjoyment of the kiss, you wondered if giving him a last chance wasn't completely off the table. Your parents had taught you in your life to forgive but not forget until it was absolutely necessary too. You were in no state of mind to get over this man in a hurry and it seemed he wasn't either.

Your mouths parted, but you remained in position, your foreheads pressing together, out of breath from the heated smooch. "Y/N- I" you took a hand from his neck and placed it onto his lips, stopping him from saying another word until you had finished yours. "I'm not ready to say goodbye, it will take a lot of time and effort but if you're willing, there's a last chance being offered to you here and now. Take it or leave it, I just love you so much and I can't stand not having you around, even if it is as your 'close friend'."

Yet another stab at his heart as you brought up his once spoken words again, but he understood. He slowly nodded at you, removing your hand to see a small smile forming against his swollen pink lips. "I will do anything for that chance, my love. I can't lose you."

He pecked at your lips for the third time. "You've got a lot of work to do, Quinn." You edged a smile back to him.

"I've already started." He gestured his head backward to the place you were stood earlier with his ex-girlfriend, he let go of you and lifted you off your feet, carrying you in his arms.

"What are you doing?" you chuckled.

His eyes shut for a second, taking in the warmth of your voice.

"Giving you no reason to doubt me, yours or mine?"

"Yours." you arched the top of your head to rest in the crook of his neck as you held onto him. Your first and last fight truly ending.

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yenqa · 2 years ago

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NEW ROMANTICS!

synopsis : y/n continuously struggles to contain her growing feelings for her crush (and longtime friend), lee heeseung.

003 : invisible string

wc : 0.6k

"y/n! come down!"

you hurriedly grab your purse, rushing down the stairs to be greeted with heeseung’s shy smile, while your mother is smiling brightly at him.

"you two have grown so much! i remember when you guys where this short in middle school!" she points to her shoulder, you both exchange awkward glances at each other, nodding slightly.

"we’ve got to get going ms. nam! it was nice talking with you," heeseung slightly bows to your mom as you wave goodbye and head to the car.

"you know you don’t have to talk to my mom every time, right? you can just tell me to come out."

he chuckles, a slight rasp in his voice, when he says, "it’s no problem really, plus it’s nice knowing she likes me already."

you nod, giving him a small smile.

your comfortable silence is slightly taken over by the soft guitar strums of a song you recognize immediately.

"since when did you have taylor swift in your playlist?"

he looks over to you, "i didn’t know any songs by her until you introduced me to this song. it’s your favorite song on the album, right?"

your eyes widen slightly, "yeah! it is! how did you know? i didn’t directly tell you did i?"

he shakes his head, "you always hum this song when we’re doing homework together, you also always play it at least twice when we share headphones."

"oh."

heeseung lets out a breathy laugh, putting his full attention to the road.

looking at his small smile and doe eyes you slightly smile. noticing his small head nods to the calming tune.

you turn your head outside the window to see the busy city opposite of the quiet atmosphere in the car. it’s filled with huge buildings, you quickly spot the new book store. it’s light color making it eye catching in between the tinted glass covered buildings.

the inside has a home-y feeling, the shelves slightly taller than you filled the room. though new, it was surprisingly empty, with just a few other parties looking around. rows and rows of book shelves excite you slightly. you grab heeseung’s hand, dragging him to the desired genre.

he happily follows quickly looking at the books before watching you, excitingly talk about the books you’ve already read or want to read.

he doesn’t mind holding the books you’ve been wanting to buy (in fact he took the initiative to hold them himself).

after your "hundredth" round of looking at the books (said by heeseung but he doesn’t seem to mind one bit), you both decide it’s best to eat dinner then.

the walk is a short five minutes from the bookstore. you both happily agree to katsu-chicken to eat.

you’re quickly sat down to a booth near the window, with a perfect view of the sunset.

"heeseung?" you call, he looks up from his chicken, slightly tilting his head.

"do you even like reading?"

he chokes on his food slightly "not really." he answers, continuing his initial bite.

"then why did you come to the bookstore with me?"

he shrugs, "what? can’t i spend time with the most wondrous person ever?"

it’s obviously a very sarcastic comment, but your heart can’t help but flutter at the words.

"i am pretty wonderful," you answer, and you both laugh at each others antics. finishing the food on your plates.

the drive home is short, with the roads seeming empty because of the dark hours of the night.

he drops you off at your house, with a happy "see you at school!" before driving off, leaving you watching his car grow smaller and smaller as each second passes.

back masterlist next

☆ YENQA < i was going to make the song playing new romantics but i felt like it didnt feel like the right vibe for it (also its too early to reference the title)

taglist : @viyqe @luvistqrzzz @ifearjwn @tinydeerwasteland @enhastolemyheart @wannabeyn @zuyairus @bunnystrm @yeokii @weoris @ghostiiess @haerinsluvr @flwrshee @theskzvibe @viagumi @heesluvrgirl @hoonvrs @kpopstanmeg @harryedwardtris @ixomiyu @txtbrainrot @xrvrqs @haechansbbg @kimipxl @alkjsdfgg

italics = can’t tag!

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likesomanywrecksdo · 6 months ago

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blitzø + moon symbolism

okay so the music video "Just Look My Way" takes place in Stolas' space-esque personal chamber somewhere in his castle. The music video repeatedly relate Stolas' feelings towards Blitzø with the moon. During the line "let me hold you, keep you close to me, i long to hear your voice" Stolas is seen trying his best to keep the tiny moon in his hands and preventing it from floating away. Again in the line "the walls you've conjured up to live" the moon rotates and we can see Blitzø stuck inside the black space or "dark side of the moon".

the moon symbolism can mean many things in regards to how Stolas feels about Blitzø.

Firstly, it could be a manifestation of how Stolas is always drawn back to those "dazzling moonlit nights", how he constantly tries to grasp for good moments within their time together (the only ones he can find being the full moon meetings) and so he relates Blitzø and the full moon "rendez-vous" directly as a way of coping with their less than ideal experiences outside of that structured and guaranteed time spent alone tgt.

Secondly, it could be a way of showing how Blitzø acts/how stolas views him. As per astrology, the moon is romance, pleasant nights (tying back to my previous points), intense moments, loneliness and mood swings. The last three are a pretty accurate depiction of how Blitzø acts around Stolas. He's hot-headed, closed-off and Stolitz is very much prone to intense moments on both sides, so it's possible Stolas made that connection, believing that holding the moon is the closest he can currently get to holding Blitzø.

Finally, the last image (above) shows Blitzø with his head buried in his legs trapped inside the "dark side of the moon". This could symbolise how Stolas sees this dark and isolated version of Blitzø but also sees the potential for him to open up, be romantic and love Stolas.

the apology tour switch up

In Stolas' apology tour emotional ballad, the two frames above appear (i'm guessing bc the outfit is literally the exactly same as him singing onstage wth Verosika + Tex, the cute ass choker and all). Now there is a change in the background between the moon and the sun, which is a huge switch-up from "Just Look My Way". The significance of which is also very multifaceted.

Stolas could be expressing how he wants more from Blitzø, finally expressing his feelings instead of constantly worrying about how Blitzø will feel. This is probably bc Stolas fears the relationship is over while this open communication and validation that Stolas wants more than just sex is exactly what Blitzø wanted from the start. Additionally, the second frame coul be referencing how in "Just Look My Way", Stolas says "i don't care that your of lower station" and that he wants to be seen with him and be loved by him everywhere. He's tired of keeping it a secret but also has a lot of things to lose if he does.

Secondly, the sun, in astrology, is seen to represent one's sense of self and individuality. This could hint to Stolas having his whole awakening and a whole new idea of who he is because Blitzø came into his life. Because of Blitzø, he's found out so many more things about himself and is capable of doing what is doing (divorcing Stella, giving up Blitzø, the one slightly good thing he's ever had) all because Blitzø showed him how to be free ("showed me this world was bigger than us, then sent me back where i came from'" -Down Bad" by Taylor Swift).

Finally, the switch-up from moon to sun from Blitzø's pov could be a way of showing how his feelings for stolas have changed. This song is the obvious turning point of the Stolitz ship, where Blitzø isn't in denial anymore and knows he's in love with Stolas. As discussed before, the sun represents self-image and in some cases self-esteem. Considering confession of any kind of emotions are not Blitzø strong suit and don't have a huge effect on him (don't evoke much a huge outward response from him). This revelation hitting him so fast would be a huge self-awakening for him as he has not let himself love anyone for a long time.

In conclusion, Stolitz is sun x moon and nobody can convince me otherwise.

#I LOVE SYMBOLISM IN HELLUVA BOSS #it drives me insane #helluva boss stolas #helluva boss stolitz #helluva boss apology tour #helluva blitzo #helluva boss full moon

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dre6ming · 2 years ago

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Austin Butler & Y/n top 10 paparazzi stills

It’s been a year since the instagram story that soft launched the relationship between Austin Butler and Y/n. There are rumors in Hollywood that the two were together long before they were caught making out in an alleyway, however we have no evidence of that. The couple knows how to keep their relationship a secret, in fact they are so good at that we can barely gather much material for this story.

That being said we do have our 10 favorite paparazzi moments of the two and we’ve ranked them all for you.

10. Out in Brooklyn

Only a few days after the 2022 Met gala where the two supposedly met for the first time, they sparked rumors about a potential affair after being photographed having coffee together. That outing was confirmed to have been in the presence of Austin’s then girlfriend Kaia Gerber. The rumors would’ve probably gone dead if it weren’t for the picture above, the two spend a day walking around Brooklyn, enjoying food together and visiting a local music store. Fans who saw them together that day have stated that the chemistry between them was undeniable and the way they laughed together looked so natural you couldn’t look at them without thinking she and him are dating.

9. At the Eras Tour together

Though she said she could never tour, Y/n accepted to be the opening act for a few of the Eras Tour shows. For no one’s surprise Austin accompanied her on all of those nights. Fans filmed him dancing, filming and taking pictures during Y/n’s set, while having a blast singing along to the songs. At the end of the first show Y/n opened, she and Austin were photographed leaving together, being all smiles and giggles. That night she also surprised the fans attending the show by joining Taylor up on stage for the acoustic part of the show and the two performed Swift’s song Paris, which they cowrote together. People in the audience said that she couldn’t take her eyes off of Austin.

8. Buying flowers together

Austin has said multiple times his a romantic, buying flowers for his girlfriend being one of his favorite ways of showing his love. The two were photographed together in Paris, walking the streets and stopping to buy two huge bouquets of flowers. Oh how we dream of having what they have. For the rest of that day Austin and Y/n were caught by the paparazzi multiple times and Austin was the one who proudly carried the bouquets in one hand while holding Y/n’s hand with the other.

7. Coney Island Ferris wheel ride

When doing their Actors on actors interview for Variety, Y/n told Austin that she and her parents used to spend a few days on Coney Island for the summer vacation. It seems that she wanted to show him what it was all about since the actor declared that he’s never been there before. They went on various rides, but this picture of the them cuddled up next to each other on the Ferris wheel is truly the highlight of the trip for us.

6. Disneyland date

Austin grew up just a few minutes away from Disneyland and going back to their Variety interview he told her that going the the amusement park was a regular occurrence for him. Y/n admitted to never having the opportunity to go but wishing to since she was a little girl. Back then the two were barely rumored to be dating, but nothing had been confirmed, Austin jokingly promised her that he’d take her to Disneyland and show her around. Seem like Butler is a man of his word and he kept that promise, because as soon as the news was out that the two were official, he wasted no time in taking her on a Disney trip.

5. Use me as a pillow

The first time people were a 100% convinced that all the rumors were true was when Austin and y/n left the 2023 Oscar awards together, with her leaning her head on his shoulder. In the picture he’s seen kissing the top of her hair, something not ‘friendly’ to do, so it was an obvious tell that there was more than friendship between them. Later that night they were photographed getting cozy together at Baz Luhrmann’s after party.

4. Hitting all the right angles

After posting an instagram story on her account, Y/n attracted paparazzi to her and Austin’s secret vacation. There were many pictures to come from their little Greece trip, including them fooling around on the beach, but our absolute favorite have to be the pictures of the two by the pool. Austin has been a long time self proclaimed amateur photographer, but to us it seems that the adjective amateur has no place next to his name, or maybe it was Y/n, his model that deserves all the credit. We haven’t seen any of the shots Butler took that day, but we can only assume they were top tier. These shots are the reason why Austin was deemed the internet’s best boyfriend.

3. Car make outs

Not a sight we see very often from Austin and Y/n, they like being private and they are very good at that. But sometimes the paparazzi get a little lucky and they snap million dollar pictures like this one. The couple was in L.A. at the time and reportedly was having dinner together at a nice restaurant. After they finished eating, they left together of course, but before taking off they took time to have a small make out session in the car. Oh to be young and in love

2. Subway rides

Y/n is a true born and raised New Yorker, her favorite activity in the city is to ride the subway. It seems to us that she wanted to share her questionable love for the subway with he beloved boyfriend. The always crowded subway was almost the perfect way to blend in, but not good enough, since someone was able to capture this cute moment between them. All we can do is wish to find someone that looks at us the same way Y/n looks at Austin.

1. Dark alleyways

This had to be our favorite by far, this photo dump of pictures hard launched the relationship and finally confirmed all our suspicions. It’s undeniable that these two gave it their all to keep us away for their love, but there’s only so much they can do. Everything about these pictures had us going absolutely feral, from his hand placement to their height difference. This has to be their “it” picture and there’s no denying that we all wished to be her in that exact moment.

Well this was out top 10 paparazzi photos of the very secretive couple. We can only hope for more moments like these going forward and some voices even whisper behind closed doors that there might be wedding bells ringing in the air soon.

Masterlist

The delicate beginning rush Masterlist

Instagram photo dump masterlist

TDBR- imagines Masterlist

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swiftgreatest · 2 years ago

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Daylight | Eddie Roundtree x Reader

request by anon: "Heyy i loved the eddie oneshot you made!! So i wanted to ask if i can request another eddie roundtree x reader inspired by daylight by taylor swift, especially this part " And I can still see it all (in my head)/ Back and forth from New York (sneaking in your bed)" ?? Thank uu, love your writing <3"

a/n: hello!! I'm so happy to write a one shot based on taylor swift song, I LOVE THIS WOMAN!!!!! i love her lyrics she's fantastic. so thanks for request, hope u like.

words: 3.5k

Drowning your sorrows with alcohol in a random bar in Los Angeles was not what you expected for the weekend. In fact, you expected much more. Being with the one you loved and who claimed to love you was what you wanted, watching random movies, kissing, comforting each other was all you wanted. But he didn't want that, in fact he didn't want only you.

You were cursing yourself for never noticing, all the times he ran away, ignored calls, made excuses, it was all in your face and you couldn't see it. You thought this was the one, your happy ending, the one you would love until the last day of your life, the one with whom you would share every part of your life. But it wasn't.

He betrayed and abandoned you, put you in his sea of illusions and lies, only to find someone else and abandon you. The love that you thought would take care of you and love you, the famous red love, romantic love, was actually a pack of lies, pretenses and betrayals.

You have never felt so used and hurt as you do now, it's as if you were trapped in a 20-year dark night, with no way out, no light, nothing to help you or guide you out of this darkness, everything was black and white for you.

As you were about to order another drink for the barman, a man sat down on the stool next to you. He was tall and handsome, his hair was a shade of blond with a bit of brown, his brown eyes watched you and with his slightly reddish mouth he smiled at you, he already had a beer in his hand and asked you for another, you arched your eyebrow in confusion and he finally spoke to you.

"Sorry I didn't even ask if you like beer.

"No problem, I like this stuff a lot" You pointed to the bottle, you were a little drunk but still understood what was going on around you and were aware of your mind.

"Well, my name is Eddie, Eddie Roundtree." He held out his hand and you shook it back, the way he introduced himself was different like he was used to people recognizing him or something, you even stopped to think for a moment and analyzed him. Who he was or who he could be.

Being an actress, working mostly in plays and musicals, you knew many famous people in various fields, actresses, actors, musicians of all styles and even other types of artists, so you tried to think if he was one of those artists. The style was typical of the rock movement, but many people followed that style.

"Y/N L/N. Have we met before?"

"No, but I think you may have heard some of my band's music" So he was a musician but that didn't help you "You know, The Six..." Oh so you recognized it.

"Oh, Daisy Jones and The Six! I remember that" You met them with Honeycomb, that song stayed in your head for months and when Aurora was released you were quick to buy a record for yourself. "Oooh we can make a good thing baaad" You sang, it was a bit of a disaster because you were a bit drunk, your voice was better than that but you allowed yourself to laugh at yourself singing like that to a guy you just met.

Eddie laughed at that, his voice came out a little slurred with the music and he loved that, he even sang the next part with you, and you both ended up laughing together at each other. You clicked very quickly. You started talking to him, about the band, the songs, and the current Aurora tour.

After that Eddie started telling you about his career, how he was a guitar player in the beginning of the band and then a bass player, he also told you about music, how it was something important in his life and how he intends to work with music forever.

"But I talked a lot about myself, what about you? Tell me about you?"

You told him all about yourself, every little detail, and Eddie listened to everything with excitement and curiosity, he saw you in the bar and thought you were the most charming woman he had ever seen, there was no way he could resist, and now each thing you said he was more fascinated by you.

From your life as an attendant in a market to the stages of Broadway and other theaters, you told your whole story to the bass player. He was surprised that you were an actress and was dying to see you perform, he was sure you were amazing.

With every word you said about your work, Eddie could see how passionate you were about your profession, passionate about what you did, and you had a great passion that he found beautiful as well as everything about you.

Between talking about your lives and other things, you and Eddie talked about the most varied subjects, it was as if you were old friends who had met and already knew each other's life story. The conversation was wonderful, you never felt so caught up and excited in a conversation with someone as you did with Eddie and you had only known him a few hours. You spent so many hours talking that the bartenders had to kick you out because they had to close, and you were the last ones to stay.

The musician and you left the bar laughing, who could imagine being thrown out of such a place? Nevertheless, this event didn't spoil the evening, nothing could. And who knew that you would have so much fun on a night that began full of sadness and disappointment. You were so happy that you met Eddie, he was like a light bringing clarity and joy to your evening.

After you left the bar, Eddie called a cab for you because neither he nor you could drive after drinking alcohol. You got into the cab and he leaned out the window to talk to you.

"So when will we see each other again? You were surprised at yourself for saying that sentence, it was so fast you couldn't even think, it seemed strange, you had just ended a relationship and were already going out with a guy? But this is your life, so you make the rules here and live as you like.

"Whenever you want, for you I am always at your disposal..." Roundtree smiled as he stared at you, he looked at your mouth, then at your eyes and you did the same to him. But he couldn't do that yet, you hadn't even had a decent first date and you had been drinking a lot and he wanted to do it sober.

You took a piece of paper from your purse and wrote your phone number "Call me, I'll be waiting for you rock star" You kissed the paper before handing it to him. After that you told the driver to go and waved to Eddie as the car pulled away. And if you had looked back any longer you would have seen Eddie kissing the paper with your number on it and looking at it like a winning ticket.

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in

Everyone looked worse in the light

There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven

I'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye

Many months passed after that, there were many meetings, kisses, moments, jokes and conversations, but you remember everything in your mind. From your first meeting at the movies to when Eddie introduced you to his friends, the guys in the band loved you, everyone was kind and polite and you liked all of them, except Billy. Eddie told you some things about Billy before you met, but you left it to your own opinions without influence from anyone. So in your own judgment you didn't like Billy Dunne, nothing about him pleased you, his arrogant and smug air made you feel sorry for those who had to live with him every day.

But apart from that, you and the band created a good relationship, you became very close to Karen and she even revealed to you her relationship with Graham, you were happy but not surprised anyone could see how much the guitarist liked the keyboard player and you think they are cute. You also became very close to Warren the drummer was very happy that his friend had found a girl, especially one as special as you, so you became friends and you even saw Rollerball with him once.

Between the trips you had to make for your job to perform in theaters around the country, Eddie also had to travel for the Aurora tour, so from one city to another you would meet up when your schedules matched or you got a break and when you couldn't Roundtree would call you every day after the shows, this was like a rule to him, he wouldn't sleep or rest without talking to you, in fact he doesn't even know if he could because your voice calmed him down and talking to you made him forget about the problems of the tour.

On one of your days off you joined the band to go to Pittsburgh. Eddie was very excited about this trip, he talked about it for weeks and his joy was contagious. He really wanted you to see the city where he was born, and to meet his family, especially his grandmother. The bassist talked a lot about his family and all he wanted was to introduce the person he was completely in love with to the most important people in his life, his family.

The trip to Pittsburgh was good, you talked with Lisa, Warren's girlfriend for a while until you felt tired and you and your boyfriend went to sleep, you were in armchairs close to each other so he only had to put his arms around you and you put your head against his chest to sleep. You slept soundly feeling safe in each other's company and didn't even notice that Camila took a picture of you. She gave the picture to you a few days after the unveiling saying how cute you both were. And now you carry that picture with you everywhere you go.

The days in Pittsburgh were the best, Eddie was so happy, you fell in love with his family and the city, it was all so comforting, everyone was so kind to you. Eddie's family loved you, they were very loving, you spent the days talking to Eddie's grandmother, she was very kind, you formed a great friendship and Eddie was very happy about it. To see you with his grandmother at the show in Pittsburgh was very important for him.

But not everything was perfect, in the show Billy Dunne stole Eddie's part in Daisy's solo. In front of everyone, your whole hometown, your friends, your family, you. You spent the whole night after the show consoling your boyfriend, after the show was over you realized how upset he was, you were spending the days at his family's house so when you came back and went into Eddie's old bedroom, where you were sleeping, you hugged him and he started to cry.

He was so tired of being belittled, manipulated and used, he had so much talent but all he got was depreciation. Being in the band was a dream for him, but he never imagined that a dream could become a nightmare. You knew about what Billy was doing, about re-recording Eddie's basses and how he always belittled the bass player and other members of his own band, you were disgusted by that man.

"He couldn't have done that, not here in Pittsburgh, in front of my grandmother, in front of you. You sat on the bed as you continued to hold each other, his face was on your neck and you felt his tears on your skin, you were moving his hair trying to reassure him, it broke your heart to see him like that.

"He's an asshole. I know how much you want to prove to people how talented you are, but you don't have to prove anything to anyone, it's not your job." You pulled his face away from your neck to look him in the eyes "Your grandma knows how talented you are, your family knows it, your town knows it, and I know it Eddie, we're all proud of you.

"I know my love, but I can't understand how such a horrible person as that guy can get anything he wants, or do anything he wants and nobody says anything. I wish I could make him feel the same way, excluded, despised, ignored, he deserves it."

"Don't let this bad feeling consume you, it will only break you, or worse, it will make you just like Billy, a person who is so broken inside that he needs to belittle and break the people around him to feel better or superior. You are not like that Eddie, you are bigger than that, your music and passion is bigger than all that.

And it was looking into your eyes at that moment, inside your childhood bedroom, with the curtains open where the window allowed the moonlight to shine on you, that the bass player had an epiphany, a confirmation of how everything you had was something so precious and unique, that he wanted it forever, to be with someone who supported and loved him the way he was with all the flaws and faults, a love that told the truth but would never say good-bye

You once told Eddie that he was like daylight, that he brightened your days, cleared your thoughts and brought you out of a dark night of twenty years, and that now with him you could only see daylight with him. He had never understood that, until today.

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I've been sleeping so long in a twenty year dark night

And now, I see daylight

I only see daylight

Sometimes life changes so fast that when we stop and look back we think how real was it? How much we felt and all that we experienced. It's crazy how fast the night can change. And that's what happened in your life and in Eddie's life.

After the Pittsburgh show the tension in the band increased, everyone was uncomfortable and in trouble, except Warren. Eddie was at his limit and you knew it, when he told you that he was leaving the band, you were sad for him, because you knew that this was his dream and he dedicated so much of himself, but you respected his decision and supported him in it, all you wanted was for him to be okay.

And your boyfriend really admired this in you. In the beginning he was afraid to tell you that he was leaving the band, he was insecure, the band was the only thing he had, he was afraid that you would see him in a different way now that he was not part of one of the biggest bands in rock. And he was relieved when nothing changed, you still believed in him and his talent.

You still remember the day after the Chicago show, you were at your home in New York. Last night Eddie didn't call you as usual and you were very worried, you called but he didn't answer. Then in the afternoon when the thoughts were troubling you, your apartment doorbell rang and you answered. At the door was Eddie, with a suitcase and a black eye, the only thing he said to you was "It's over" and you understood everything. You cared for him that night, you loved him, supported him, and cared for him.

In the months after the breakup, Eddie surprised you. He bought a new apartment, a bigger one than you had, a place of your own, where you could be who you were and love each other the way you wanted. Starting to live with Eddie was amazing, you had a great life, waking up with daylight shining on you, cooking meals together and making messes, sneaking in your bed, Eddie helping you rehearse lines for the plays you were in.

It was so funny, he was always so dramatic in his lines and so expressive, you laughed at him most of the time and it made the work lighter. Roundtree went back to playing guitar, he went back to writing, making some songs and meeting new bands, labels and musicians. And this is how Eddie slowly entered the world of music production. He got a job at a record company and became the producer of a hard rock band that was starting up.

After the first album, the band took off and Eddie's work was recognized, so the record company called him to produce other music and other artists and this is how he established himself as a popular and good music producer. You couldn't even describe how happy you were, you were so happy that Eddie would continue with his dream, you were afraid that he would quit music after the band and when he started producing music you could see how excited and happy he was, so you were happy too.

You accompanied him to all his events and he did the same with you, without the touring life he had more time now, so he went to all his shows and was your biggest fan as his co-workers said. His job remained the same and that's why you still need to travel.

And I can still see it all (in my mind)

All of you, all of me (intertwined)

I once believed love would be (black and white)

But it's golden (golden)

And I can still see it all (in my head)

Back and forth from New York (sneaking in your bed)

I once believed love would be (burning red)

But it's golden

Like daylight, like daylight

And that's what you were doing now. Sitting in front of a dressing table in your dressing room, you were getting ready to go on stage. You were in Arizona performing your new play that was showing in several states. It had been a month since you had seen Eddie and it was so hard for you, you spent so much time together, it was like the time he went on tour, you kept calling and even exchanging letters. In some of them Eddie sent you some lyrics he wrote about you, writing music was something he never gave up and you were proud of it.

Now looking in the mirror, you think back to all the moments you remembered, the first time you saw each other, life with him in the era of The Six, building a life in New York. And you could only feel grateful and happy to have built such an amazing life next to someone you loved so much and who loved you with the same intensity. Real love, with difficulties and battles, but together you overcame everything and grew to become what you are today.

You smiled at the thought, and were so thoughtful that you didn't even notice when a production employee walked into your dressing room.

"Miss Y/N L/N, this came for you" He handed you a bouquet of flowers, they were yellow daffodils, they were beautiful.

"Oh, thank you so much, do you know who sent them?"

"No, but this note came with them" He handed you a small envelope "And you go on stage in 5 minutes" You nodded your head in agreement and he left, then you opened the note.

"I have traveled a long way just to see my star shine with my own eyes on this stage. Greetings from New York."

The note was unsigned but you already knew who it was from, you cracked a big smile, kissed the note and put it away with the bouquet. Then you came out of your dressing room and ran onto the stage. Lights were turned on and the curtains opened, and when you looked out into the audience there he was.

In all his glory, he was standing in the front row applauding you and smiling at you proudly, the man who changed your life, who taught you that love was golden, that love is about good things and not about making the other person feel belittled, the love of your life, your daylight.

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you (I can never look away)

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

(Things will never be the same)

I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night

(Now I'm wide awake)

And now I see daylight (I see daylight), I only see daylight (Ah)

— — —

I LOVE WRITE THISSSS, HOPE U GUYS LIKE

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#eddie roundtree #djats #daisy jones and the six #eddie loving #request #swiftgreatest's write #eddie roundtree x reader #eddie loving x reader #eddie roundtree one shot #eddie loving x you #eddie loving imagine #eddie loving one shot #eddie roundtree imagine #eddie roundtree x you

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