#also it was soooo hard to get right colours especially yellow

[imeriayapping]

✷ Valentino Rossi inspired jewellery set ✷

(please follow @imerian for all of my crafts)

[sweetheartsaku]

(HQ) i'll do the dishes we'll carry the load

𝜗𝜚 HAIKYUU!! VARIOUS: 𝓛ANTANA.

a/n: [fem!reader] i have 3 wips in my drafts but i chose to start a whole new one 😎

— characters : atsumu, iwaizumi, sakusa, osamu

atsumu miya ; dance with you tonight - laufey

ATSUMU MIYA GET BEHIND ME to all the people who say atsumu treats all girls like trash, (LOUD BUZZER NOISE) it is such a common headcannon he's a mommy's boy?? such a common headcannon that the twins grew up with their mother?? hello?? would most definitely treat you beyond well ⁽⁽(੭ꐦ •̀Д•́ )੭*⁾⁾ !!

bites his straw omg. samu HATES it, especially when they’re sharing drinks then he finds his fresh beverages straw on its last thread. does the same with you unintentionally, making it literally impossible to drink from LMAO. its atsumu so i let it pass

has a dimple on his left cheek, matching with his twin brother whose dimple is on the right!!! he loves when you kiss and poke it. whenever he's focused, he bites his cheek, and you can see the little dimple there too.

gets you so many little trinkets and souvenirs from when he goes to away-games, always thinking of you!! sends you pictures of sunsets he sees, gets you seashell necklaces and ones with your initials except you get his and he gets yours ♡ bokuto and hinata also try help him, but the best they could pick up was a pebble the same colour as your eyes.

"you wanna kiss me soooo bad"

hajime iwaizumi ; super rich kids - frank ocean

put his hands on your head or waist when your close or about to hit something.. like you could be getting something from under the table and his hand would protect the spot where you could hit your head on 😖💞 same thing with your waist, always holding it close so you don’t bump into strangers on the road

strong believer of sidewalk rule. will switch your places EVER so gently (IWAIZUMI HAJIME THE MAN YOU ARE). loooooves slithering his hands around your waist and adooooores the pudgy stuff under your shirt. he just finds every inch of you beautiful from the bottom to the top!!! (he js like me frfr u is gorjus bae)

would carry you when your feet/heels hurt. the INSTANT he hears a slight groan of pain he will actually already be down there unbuckling the clip of the heel LMAO. props you up on his back and holds you up with so much pride.. his favourite heels to unbuckle are valentino’s and ysl. got the valentino’s for you on your 3rd year anniversary and the ysl on your 4th. maybe he’s gonna get on one knee while he’s down there too

smells like an insane amount of axe body spray unfortunately.. sorry iwa enthusiasts

kiyoomi sakusa ; coming home - beabadoobee

really loves claw clips. whether it be on you, or on himself and literally just in general. really loves when you wear the pearlier colours, especially teal and lime mixed with yellows etc... he also likes the clips on himself when he's cleaning

haircare routine goes HARD!! always having 2 lathers of shampoo, 1 layer of conditioner then another layer of leave-in conditioner, protection products and after allat he has curl serum (he does it with a scalp massager too btw)

keeping the kita shinsuke + sakusa kiyoomi crocheting agendas up rn. as a kid his family was always prioritised with work at the hospital so he'd always just sit in the corner of the waiting room with his thoughts, till one day this elderly lady who always had weekly checkups would teach him how to crochet. he made things for his family, but they never accepted/used it, so he just stopped after elementary school. but ever since he met you, he suddenly felt his hands tug towards the hooks a little harder

favourite scents are lime and herbs, but not together. likes lemon and lime sprays, window cleaner and wipes. secondly, loves herbs because it reminds him of the grandma that taught him to crochet 🥹(screaming, crying, wailing, throwing up, bashing head on wall.)

would peel your pomegranates (he hates messes)

osamu miya ; a piece of you - nathaniel constantin

found you watching those wax slime/asmr/clay cracking/mini foods/recipes on tiktok/mukbangs ONCE, and ever since then he's been a tad more dedicated to making special sweet treats for you after closing at onigiri miya ♡

this is like on the verge of ick and cute, but he likes to boop your nose with flour or your hand while you're baking. ya'll could be kneading impossibly close, and he'll sprinkle a bit of flour on you or randomly boop your nose 😭

always carries hair ties for you. in the kitchen he can’t have them on, but anywhere else he has one on him. since he basically lives in the kitchen, he’d prefer you to just stay there with him instead LMAO. the “anywhere else” in question is wherever you desire... but adores trying new cuisines with you. the hair tie helps tie your hair back while you eat btw <3

his hands smell like dishwashing liquid, even after the endless lathers of strong candy apple hand-soap, the scent of the liquid still lingers on his hand! you can smell it when you hold it on movie nights, or kiss it goodnight hehe

has a dimple on his right cheek, except his dimple is way deeper than atsumu's. you can see it when he chews

would peel your oranges

[emomanswhore]

Hey, i just raed yiur story Daddy’s Home and was flabbergasted 🥵

I have a question if you don’t mind me asking. How do you make the WC and the A/N, change to colour from bluish to gold/yellow?

Thank u and your writing is amazing 🤩🙌🏻🥵

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ ♡!! hihi angel, please don’t mind how atrociously late this reply is. but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE ON DADDYS HOME 🫶🏽🤍 your energy is unmatched, and i can’t wait to try bringing it back onto my blog !! i love you times a million <333

i absolutely do NOT mind you asking abt the gradience, or any questions you may have for me ! the work itself is a bit tedious and hard,, but trust me. that gradient effect on any post is sooooo worth it. i’m gonna take you through what my process is, and in general how i play with the gradient text on my blog !!

.:☆*:･) FIRST (!!)— go to this site in the link.

this is my go to site for gradient text, and it’s pretty easy to maneuver. a lot of it is self explanatory, but i’ll go over it step by step !

put in any text you’d like— BUT, don’t put any font text. because the code for the gradient can’t read it, so that kinda sucks.

where the blue text is highlighted, you can select whichever effect you want. usually i pick three colored, or middle bc i like how those look the best.

i cannot for the life of me remember which colors i chose for daddy’s home— BUT, if it was that blue-silvery w/ the gold,, im gonna assume it was these hex codes. usually when i pick my three colors, i go from lightest to darkest and kinda play around with it till i think it looks how my mind pictured it to be.

the cool thing abt this too is that as you work with your colors, you also get a preview of what your hex codes would look like. so you can always look back and forth between the preview and the color wheel !

THEN, make sure you copy this ENTIRE thing. if you’re doing it on mobile i suggest you tap wherever and just hit ‘select all’ if it prompts you to do so.

.:☆*:･) SECOND (!!)— go to this site in the link.

then you’re gonna paste that whole big code you copied, and paste it into what should be an empty blue box. once it’s pasted, where it says ‘replace this’ put a semicolon(;) in there. and where it says ‘with this’, leave it blank. after you do that, hit replace text and then you’re good ! make sure you copy what’s left in that blue box, bc you’re gonna need it.

.:☆*:･) THIRD (!!)— this part is where you have to either be on your computer, OR if you’re using the mobile site,, set it to the desktop view. you’ll have to refresh your page after you change it, that way your post will be compatible with the coding.

whatever your post is gonna be, click the cog wheel at the top right corner aka your post settings. once you get there, you should see this. and once you see it, go to text editor and change it to html.

so then you just paste the coding into your post.

then voila !! you’ll see a preview of your text, and it should look like that exactly. thennn, you tweak it to your liking. and that’s how i made the gradient text for daddy’s home (^⩌^) !!

i wanna preface that this tut isn’t MINE. i learned a lot of this from the og, who i’m linking here just incase you need a more in-depth tut or i missed anything. like i said, it’s suppopeerrr tedious and long especially if you’re like me and you’re a perfectionist :’) ,, but it’s worth it !! it’ll make your posts look soooo much prettier and attractive !

[diquemeisteur]

thanks for the tag !!!

1. Do you make your bed?

well. no. but i do throw on the cover thing so there’s no dust which is basically the same thing

2. Favorite number?

no favourite number! they all feel like something different. 256 is round. 42 is half round half spiky. 1 is like a really unreactive element. but there’s so many different numbers i couldn’t pick. 289 isn’t bad, 17 squared. maybe 21. OH i also like 24 because of the game where you make 24 from four numbers!

3. What's your job?

fast food.

4. If you could back to school, would you?

yes!!! i haven’t left and it’s nice. i love learning new things and i get to see my friends every day. i wouldn’t get those things in any other full time position. i’d miss them too much to like it

5. Can you parallel park?

i don’t think so

6. Do you think aliens are real?

well earth life is chemicals. somewhere on another goldilocks planet chemicals have started to bond and react in new ways that propagate themselves, i’m basically sure of that, or if they haven’t they will. there is a lot of stuff in the universe. it’s up to people to decide wether they want to call it life or aliens or what

7. Can you drive a manual car?

i can, actually. biggest flex ever 🔥🔥 or at least i have. don’t ask me to do it now though i might crash

8. Guilty pleasure?

i want to say pikmin bloom but they could never make me feel guilty for liking pikmin bloom. they make little vegimal noises ❤️❤️

9. Tattoos?

none. my cousin wanted to give me a stick and poke once but i dodged that bullet ‼️ jokes i’m sure

10. Favorite color?

yellow and blue, mainly, especially when they’re together. BUT my absolute favourite is the whole beige brown cream range! it’s so pretty, it’s the colour of golden retrievers and old paper and pianos and chai lattes and stuff.

11. Favorite type of music?

same answer as wh

12. Do you like puzzles?

YES. yes. i do

13. Any phobias?

heights. also very much loneliness but mainly heights. simon fairchild tma would have a field day with me

14. Favorite childhood sport?

that’s sooo hard… trampolining was soooo much fun, but swimming was always my safe place and i loved it, it really calmed me down. but actually i think favourite is figure skating. all the jumps and spins were really really fun and i always felt soooo pretty performing 💖

15. Do you talk to yourself?

yep! it’s a good way to organise my thoughts. it’s not usually out loud though.

16. Tea or coffee?

tea for sure! so varied so diverse so nice, and the taste doesn’t stick around for as long as coffee’s does. i like coffee IN things, like cake or dalgona, but tea is 🔛🔝 in my universe

17. First thing you wanted to be growing up?

probably an astrophysicist actually. or a marine biologist. i feel like i remember something else but it was between them probably. the octonauts effect

18. What movies do you adore?

right ok i’m usually more a tv show person i have a VERY high bar for movies so this is a valuable list. first place, Brazil (1985), Terry Gilliam. second place, Everything Everywhere All at Once. third place, X-men: First Class, but days of future past is good too. fourth place, any monty python movie but my favourite is the holy grail.

thanks for the tag, that was super fun!! you know who should do this,, @a-moon-eclipsed @frogkeyboard no pressure of course ❤️

get to know me ‼️

thanks to @dear-space-cadet for the tag :-)

1. Do you make your bed? not really, but i do tidy up my bed a little

2. Favorite number? probably 7, i know its a popular favourite number but thog dont c aare its a good number

3. What's your job? don’t have one 💪 🔥 💯 i plan to apply to some like. shelf-stocking and similar type jobs soon when i get round to it

4. If you could back to school, would you? haven’t left it yet so i dont have much choice in the matter here lol

5. Can you parallel park? never tried but i doubt it considering i cant drive lmao

6. Do you think aliens are real? i believe theres bound to be other forms of life somewhere out there but idk if i believe in aliens in the traditional sense

7. Can you drive a manual car? once more i cannot drive any car

8. Guilty pleasure? watching true crime videos and then getting paranoid, getting into stupid arguments in youtube comment sections & getting way too invested in niche internet discourse

9. Tattoos? none atm and i dont think i plan to get any . but that could change

10. Favorite color? dull-ish blue (similar to the colour of my blog)

11. Favorite type of music? truly i cannot pick one

12. Do you like puzzles? jigsaw puzzles im ambivalent towards, logic puzzles i usually enjoy

13. Any phobias? no full-on phobias but i do kinda freak out at the idea of swimming with jellyfish

14. Favorite childhood sport? climbing!

15. Do you talk to yourself? all the time 👍

16. Tea or coffee? to be fully honest i drink neither but i’d have to say tea . ive had more tea than coffee in my life and i enjoy tea more generally

17. First thing you wanted to be growing up? when i was like 3-6 i would always say i wanted to be a dog (bc i did) and when i eventually came to terms with that not being a career option, i would usually say artist (but i also somewhat wanted to be a comedian from like ages 7 or 8 to age 10)

18. What movies do you adore? saw (2004) is my absolute fav, i also love donnie darko, american psycho, zoolander, ten inch hero & anything directed by jordan peele. + horror movies in general are my favs

im gonna actually continue a tag game for once SOOO. tags (no pressure ofc 👍): @nintendont2502 @gorillaxyz @s-ccaam-era-crepe @paranormalglass @dykesism

[kotachii]

Haikyuu! Playing Among Us

Haikyuu Playing Among Us Headcanon

Summary: Among Us shenanigans with the HQ!! boys

Featuring: Karasuno, Fukurodani, Aoba Johsai, Nekoma, Inarizaki, Shiratorizawa, and Itachiyama

Karasuno

Daichi | Brown He doesn't really understand why everyone loves playing this game but he joins in anyways. When he plays, he will yell at people for misconduct. Yes. Misconduct. He is so serious while playing,  treating this like if he is the captain of the ship on an important space mission. Will eject people who call emergency meetings for no reason. Also painfully obvious if he is imposter because suddenly, he isn't lecturing people anymore.

Sugawara | Pink Oh this boy is slyyy. He looks really trustworthy, pink with a dum sticky note on his person. People -- especially Asahi-- love to follow him around for some reason, it's a good thing when he is crew member but when he is imposter....Suga will legit say "I'll follow you and watch you do medscan!" during meetings. Then kill you anyways.  

Tanaka | Black Always the first one ejected. He could never figure out the names of the map location, nor the tasks he has to do. "What tasks did you do?" "Yeah that one!", Tanaka would reply. But which one is "that one"..... No one knows. He is also the type of person to go "You're imposter because you're accusing me!". But it's his fault for playing so suspiciously all of the time and never knowing the names of the tasks or locations.

Nishinoya | Cyan He likes to just run around the map, always the first one there at lights, at reactor or at oxygen when it is sabotaged. No one knows how he gets there so quickly. Just because he is there, doesn't mean that he will get it done. Him and Hinata has been trying to fix the lights for a solid minute but they keep messing eachother up. But when there's a sabotage and Nishinoya isn't there to fix it, it is pretty obvious who is imposter.

Kageyama | Dark Blue Would fat finger and exit out of the downloading task right before the download is finished. Then get angry and give up on doing tasks. Then he will get accused for not doing tasks...usually the second one ejected after Tanaka. Will also accidentally self report after killing when he is imposter.

Hinata | Red He spent a minute trying to fix lights with Nishinoya. Then when a meeting is called, he tried to accuse Nishinoya for purposefully messing up the lights. But he just gets ignored. He also finishes his tasks really quickly except for the ones in electrical. He refuses to go there unless if someone is with him.

Asahi | Lime Green He is soooo nervous when playing this game. He will try to stick around with other people, like follow Suga. But he is also always the first one dead. Suga will abandon him right away--or kill him if Suga is imposter. Asahi will still complete all of the tasks when he is a ghost though.

Tsukishima | White You know those people that when they are imposters, they would lock you in a room and purposefully vent because they know you can't escape? Yeah, that's Tsukishima. When he is playing as crew, he would also pretend that he didn't see it when other players does med scan. Tsukishima isn't playing to win, he is playing for salt.

Yamaguchi | NA It's been half an hour, Yamaguchi is still waiting for Tsukishima to send him the game code. (Spoiler: he never got it)

Kiyoko | Purple Somehow always gets imposter every game. She is silent but deadly, the boys always feels bad voting her off but unlike them, she shows no mercy when she is killing. She also stalks electricals no matter the map. And when she's hosting the game, she always picks Mira because of the vents. Almost has a one hundred percent win rate as imposter. Yachi | Yellow She got pressured into playing because Hinata said it was really fun. But in reality, this game stresses her out so much. A spaceship with 9 other people and 2 of them can kill her? That's a nightmare! If she's crew, you can find Yachi hiding somewhere. On the ship she hides in comms, on polus she hides in spawn and on Mira, she hides in the cafeteria corner. As imposter, however, she will laugh nervously and stutter when someone mentions a kill.

Fukurodani

Bokuto | White "Did anyone see Bokuto?"--"Uhh yeah he was at admin."...3 kills, 4 sabotages, 2 meetings later, "So where was Bokuto?"---"He was in admin with me." Bokuto spent the entire game trying to do card.

Akaashi | Dark Green He's the type of guy to always make complex plays at the last 20 seconds of any emergency meeting. He's always thinking and talking but barely anyone actually does what he says. However, he is very good at picking up little details with the way other players move. He could tell by their actions if they are genuinely crew--even with idiots who spend the entire game doing card-- or imposter.

Aoba Johsai

Oikawa | Cyan When he is imposters with Iwaizumi, he will try to set up for a double kills. Locks the door, him, Iwa and two other poor players. Once he kills the two of them, they win. Will even act all cocky except when he does his end of the double kill, Iwaizumi (his imposter partner) reports the dead body.

Iwaizumi | Black He will 100% throw Oikawa under the bus if they are imposters together. Sometimes on purpose, other times...he just clicked on the report button instead of kill by accident. Also, when he is crew, he never clears anyone. Even when Oikawa followed him the entire game and did tasks in front of him, he will still eject him based off guts feelings.

Nekoma

Kuroo | Red Kuroo will call emergency meetings just to talk shit and tell the other players how he is much faster at doing tasks than them. "I would of been done my tasks if you didn't call this meeting!--" "Still slower than me." Constantly says that he needs to join a real lobby but never does.

Kenma | Yellow The tryhard of his friends group, Kenma has NO CHILL. He demands you list your entire pathing the SECOND he hears your voice. Actually really talkative and into the game but way too hard at it. Usually third imposters because he judges ppls mistakes too harshly. He's a good Imp tho, usually tries to win by sabotages. His 1 tell is that he won't kill Hinata when they're in the same game.

Lev | Orange The type of player who either keeps forgetting to mute his mic or actually doesn't know how? His favorite task is weapons because he gets to shoot the meteors. Yes, he makes a pew pew sound every time he hits them. When he's Imposter it's pretty easy to tell, because he keeps following big groups and hopes to give himself some cred. He's the only player who's ever been convinced to vote himself off. 

Inarizaki

Osamu | Brown His only goal playing this game is to kill Atsumu as imposter. It doesn't matter if someone is beside them. He will deadass kill Atsumu in a room filled with people just for spite. When he gets ejected, the dead chat will be filled with Atsumu and Osamu arguing with eachother.

Atsumu | Lime Green When Atsumu is crew, he tries to be group leader. He likes to think he is this game's expert but the truth is, he always gets his facts wrong. He is like the walmart version of Kenma. Will accuse people for not doing keys and ends up ejecting crew members. People eventually stop letting him take the lead. Also,  he runs whenever he sees Osamu.

Kita | Red He gets disconnected 5 seconds into the game. His internet connection is Awful with a capital A. He never really ends up playing, and the one game his internet didn't fail him, he spent the whole time standing in the spawn area because he didn't know what he had to do.

Shiratorizawa

Tendou | Red He only has 2 modes when he plays. Total prick and hacking total prick. Whether he's imposter or not, Tendou doesn't do a single task and follows people around the entire game. He likes to hang out on vents and messes up lights on purpose. He's also the only guy who hacks the game just to skip emergency meetings. Tendo calls it "E-blocking"

Ushijima | NA He got an invite to play with everyone "among us" on some "steam" and was really confused. He boiled some water and let his kitchen fill up with steam. He told Tendou the next day it wasn't for him.

Extra

Sakusa | Yellow Sakusa refuses to do tasks out of order even if there's three in his path. He also refuses to wear hats or costumes of any kind. As imposter, Sakusa doesn't like killing people and always tries to sabotage win because he finds the killing image to be dirty. He also votes ejects people based off colours he doesn't like. Not even because he finds them sus.

[tetsuwan-atom]

Holy Grail War - Unraveling

(So, this is basically something I’ve been meaning to write for weeks. It’s in a specific verse about a specific event that had unfolded, that was plotted out between a few people. I have decided to give this event a bit of a ‘conclusion’ from the perspective of my muse and canon, to show how the story could have gone, how it could have ended.)

~~~~~~~~~~~

It really was like hell.

It looked like it, felt like it, like this was the most evil place, in all of existence.

Another dimension, another world but not at the same time. An experience that would burn into the retinas forever. A world in a world, like you had stepped into the end of it all.

And it really did seem like it was the end, of it all.

You never expected the Holy Grail to look like this. A beacon of such evil, of apocalyptic catastrophe. The very symbol that brought such chaos, time and time again, feeding upon the greed, the selfishness, of those who sought to use it to it’s truest potential.

But this individual wasn’t here for that.

This person had fought through the war. He had faced countless forces, foes, enemies. How many had to die? How many brought no other option to him, despite his attempts to make it out of the war without bloodshed?

A wishful outcome, that was doomed to perish.

The many he did save, those who joined him on the cause. Those he had to leave behind at the very end. Despite the pleas of those who tried to remain, he knew, he had to take care of this himself.

Because, there can only be one.

And here he stood. He stared evil right in the face, like it was his destiny to face this. There could have been others that would have taken his place, the sibling princesses, the spiky haired schoolboy, the Sorceress Supreme, but in the end he took his objective right to this moment.

He knew he had to take care of this himself.

Bowen Chuuno, The Mighty Atom.

He stared at the embodiment of the Holy Grail. He knew of it’s power, it’s energy, it’s deceit. How it calls out to him even now to turn back on all of his goals and make a wish he so deemed to come right from the heart.

But he knew better than to give in.

Hands gripped his IDND, a step forward in stance. He’s ready. He’s about to take the matters into his own.

To put an end to this.

For goo-

“Oh! There you are!”

Eyes widen in surprise. The male hesitates, stops, lowers his device. He’s not alone after all.

There is someone else here.

A voice, he recognises. A man he knows.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Adachi Shiro.

A supposed detective of the National Police Agency, sent to Academy City to investigate the concerns that were happening literally during the time of the Holy Grail War. A very strange coincidence. One that the male took with quite a bit of suspicion at that, despite his cheerful character.

He only turned his head, to the man in question.

“What are you doing here, Adachi? How did you get in?”

“What do you mean? I just walked through. I was asking your friends where you were and they pointed me here. I gotta admit they were all acting strange. They didn’t want to let me pass, but I needed to see you. They can’t just interfere with police business like that.”

Adachi had been Bowen’s ‘sidekick’ throughout the war. Of course Bowen couldn’t hide it from him when the fighting started getting bad. Even he knew better than to lie to a cop.

“I’m busy. What you require of me can wa-.”

“Hey.” The man interjected. “Is this the ‘grail’ you’ve been looking for? Kinda looks odd for a piece of metal, doesn’t it?”

In case your wondering, yes, this man does get on Bowen’s nerves... especially right now, though he knew to remain calm.

“...........Yes. This... is the Holy Grail.”

“Aahhhhhhhh! Well done! I knew you would be the one to make it! Them bad guys got nothing on you, huh?”

His smile is just... why does it irritate him so much?

“...I guess...”

“So, what you going to do, huh? You said it grants a wish, right? I bet you planned this right from the very beginning, what you wanted out of it. I can’t believe I’m here to witness a man’s dream finally being granted!”

“I’m not going to give it a wish, Adachi.”

“You’re... not?” He looks surprised, for sure. “But you came all this way. I was there as you kicked those guys butts for the good of the world. Why would you come all this way if you weren’t going to make a wish? Weren’t you going to do something for mankind? Weren’t you going to save it?”

Bowen hadn’t told Adachi of his intentions, because he didn’t feel the man needed to know. But now, right at the last moment, when he couldn’t hide it anymore, there was no reason to lie.

“I am going to do something for mankind, I am going to save it.....”

The blonde grips his IDND, as if readying himself a second time.

“....By destroying the grail for good..”

“....”

There was this... pause. A silence, an awkward silence. How long did it last for? Probably a good ten, fifteen seconds, before some form of response was found from the arrival.

“Hmmmmmhmhmhmhmhm...”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!”

...That was an unexpected reaction, one which actually brought the blonde to turn around and face the other, still serious, but with confusion now mixed into his features.

Why the hell was Adachi... laughing?

“You, you really think I’d actually let you destroy this artifact of grand power?!?”

“What... are you on about?”

“Come now. You’ve got a good brain, you can figure this all out. Am I really a cop? Why did I actually hang around you of all people while this shit was going down, huh?”

“......”

”You know. I found it really weird that you showed up out of nowhere right at the start of the war. Then when things started heating up you reeeeallly didn’t act like I’d expect out of a cop. It was like you weren’t too caring when people were driven to death. You were also acting very strange when certain things were going on. I had a feeling you were in this war all along.”

There was this pause, but in that moment, the expression on Adachi’s face began to change... no his FACE began to change. It turned.. paler... in colour.. and his eyes.. they were turning yellow. A sort of... sickly... unsettling yellow.

“....”

“Well it doesn’t matter in the end, does it? I got exactly what I wanted. I played you to ensure you were the one at the very end. Nobody else could match up to you anyway.”

“...What do you mean?”

“Don’t play coy with me! You know exactly why. Your reputation precedes you far more than what you understand about it! While everybody else was distracted I kept my eye on the real threat. They were so worried about that dumb boy and that girl.. and then the others. They were all so useless. ”

The man then begins to circle the blonde, in conversation.

“Right at the beginning my eyes were on you. But it was quite a ride, wasn’t it? You were so good at minimising the work we had to do, putting people on side, finding some way to drop them from the war without killing them. But man everybody was making it hard, wasn’t it? I almost took advantage of that situation when the lucky kid got sent away. Can you believe it, a fake marriage just for the war! I knew it meant shit at the end of the day. More people, more mess, a whole Kingdom trying to get in on the war, those two princesses asserting their dominance. Remember how you reacted at first? You didn’t like them intruding, didn’t you?”

“...I don’t like getting others involved. But they were here for the same goal. As long as the initial plan was followed there wouldn’t be any problems.”

“But the younger one was such a real bitch about it! Making it out that it wasn’t all about you. You didn’t want to be playing second fiddle as others meddled in your objective... I can relate, for they were meddling, in MY affairs!”

“I had to take a breather after all that. I left Academy City for a bit while you cleaned up the trash. Some ‘fighter’ chick caught me talking to myself one day. I tried to downplay it cause I didn’t want more people coming into it but.. the stupid bitch nearly got sucked into it! It would have been soooo funny, seeing a tourney fighter getting wrecked by some loaded-ass Servant! More junk for the janitors to mop up!”

“But then too... I was laughing at the beginning. You got paired with Stacia Sequenzia! An ‘Atomite’ helping another Atomite! The irony there is laughable! You even tried to put her on the sidelines too, but you know, Servants are there to help their masters! I wonder if you ever had to perform a Mana Transfer on her!”

A laugh escaped the man. He wasn’t looking for an actual answer.

“Then there was that guy who just muscled in just to fight everyone, he wasn’t even IN the war. What a waste of fuckin’ time. And the Makiris, the Einsworths. Those fools were all bickering and bitching and making a mess of things. I nearly lost my cover when the war was to move to England.. but I got to pull some... strings and keep it here where I wanted. They were all so concerned about the lucky kid. I was ‘lucky’ I didn’t get to see Violent Violet or that Crowley moron come around to the war. I got to focus my efforts on you while the families shat on about their supposed ‘vessel’.”

“...Vessel... you mean... Index?”

“You dumb piece of shit. Index. Please. Everyone looks at her like she’s a fucking meal. No. She is not their ‘vessel’. Come on, think. Think reeealll hard. Do you remember a girl that the idiot took under his wing?”

“Her... you mean.. Akatsuki Miyuki?!”

“Mmm! Strange isn’t it? They were going to use her as a vessel. Too bad it wouldn’t have worked. I wasn’t interested. I don’t give a shit about humans and homunculi anymore. None of them lived up to my expectations. I wouldn’t have even used your girl either. No, I only had one person on my mind. I got what I wanted in the end, didn’t I?”

“....That’s... me... isn’t it?”

“Oh. No duh, what do you think? Of course I mean you. The Mighty Atom! The one with the power to change it all! It had to be you. The boy would have just been a candy bar. Those two princesses? I would have just killed them the moment they tried to walk through into my space! It was ME that made you an initial participant, it was ME that got you through right until the end. I knew you weren’t going to risk the suffering of those around you because maybe deep down you knew it had to be you, that anyone else would have died one way or another. They all underestimate my power... even those influenced by gods.. but not you. You knew what I can do... you knew it had to be you.”

“....But then... what are you... if you wanted so much.. out of me?”

“...Do I need to spell it out for you, boy? I AM the Holy Grail!”

That.. that was a bombshell.. he didn’t see that coming at all.

“...Y..you...”

“Yes. Me. But I’m rather an extension of the beast, allowed to roam in a body that people could lower their guard around. Nobody ever expected the beast would grow intelligent, to form a mind of it’s own. I’ve seen it, I’ve seen how greedy and malicious humans can get, for peace and for power. I was never surprised by how much they wanted to take over everything for themselves... I always enjoyed it when they were the ones losing right at the end. And then there’s those that want a ‘utopia’, but still kill, still maim, like any life is a sacrifice for the good of others. And then I kill and maim them, an eye for an eye, along with many many others. I loved playing on their wishes, lulling them in, bringing out their true nature, leaving them vulnerable right at the moment I strike! In the end they all get absorbed... ready for the next war. But.... no matter how powerful they are, it’s never... ever enough..”

“I’m bored of this game, this charade. I’m sick and tired of prancing around in a shit body. It’s still fun to prey on the gullible but, I have always yearned for something far... far greater. What I am... what I really, really am, they never suspect what I can really, really do, what they were playing with from the start. The power they were using. They thought they could play god... for their sick, twisted gains! Through their sick, twisted means!”

“But now I’m actually going to become one... thanks to you.. I’m going to be born, properly born! I’m going to burst forth as the being I should have become in the very beginning. Humanity will crumble as I consume anything and everything. Mark my words this will be the last Grail War because of you. You soul will be used to complete the process... it will make me... me! There was truly no vessel greater than you! Even now I’ve been slowly draining your energy away to grow, to develop... oh isn’t this exciting! You’re going to be a part of multi-universal history, the end of everything! Nobody will get in my way! Your power will make everything happen at once! You, responsible for the end of it all. The beginning and the end, death for life, the rise and the fall! Everybody shall die, your friend, your girl, your family, everything and everyone... and you will be the sacrifice that starts it all! It’s inevitable, boy. You cannot fight what has already happened, what was lead to happen. The game of cat and mouse is over. This is your fate. This is my fate. The less you struggle.. the easier it will be, for both of us!”

...Boy... this was a lot to take in. A LOT to take in.. and he didn’t even have the time to process it all, not when he was actually being affected right now. Inhale, exhale, carefully, gently. Remain composed.. then face the man head on.

“Adachi.”

"You know, as well as I do, I'm not going to willingly give in to you and just let this happen. You know what I am, what I do.. and what I'm going to be doing right here, right now. Your words have further influenced me in the belief that the Grail must be destroyed. And it will be destroyed. I made that promise to everyone, to Camellia, to Academy City, to my world, to Touma... to my beloved. I had an inkling I might have been targeted, that if I wasn't the one doing it, I'd be made to do it. I always had this feeling in the back of my mind that if I let others try ahead of me that they were only going to die in the end... turns out I was right."

His eyes began to glow. The usual process, close the eyes, then open them with sparks flying.

"So rather than causing more death, rather than beating around the bush, I'm going to take the matters as I was always planning to do. This was always my fight, because I was always the target. You wanted me. You have me... but man I'm not going to give up until I have no breath left. I have done so much for the multiverse, for Academy City. I never thought I'd be in a position where it all hinged in the balance like this. I know the stakes... I know what I must do. Whatever it takes, you will be destroyed for good, so that nobody can use you... so that you... can no longer use anybody. I won't let you live. I will not bring your birth. If I have to erase your very soul and existence to end this, then so be it."

“.... Well, so much for making this easy. I had a feeling your resolve was too great to kneel before me. No matter..”

“....But then there is no harm in having one last bit of fun before the next stage of life! And it would be better to wear down your.. rambunctiousness to make it easier for me to devour. Do not underestimate me... either way.. this.. will be your end!”

...And as the darkness swelled, the blonde readied his IDND again, at the man, at the embodiment of the Holy Grail. If this was to be his final fight, so be it.

This... would be the very fight that decides the fate of everything.

Of Academy City, of the multiverse, of everything.

So it shall be.

Game on.......

[tenroseforeverandever]

Dear Father Christmas… Chapter 23: December 24, 2038

MASTERPOST

Characters:  Tentoo; Rose Tyler; Jackie Tyler; Pete Tyler; Tony Tyler; OC Hope Tyler-Noble; OC Charlotte Tyler-Noble; OC Wilfred Tyler-Noble; OC Therin Thomson; Javic Thane; Gray Thane; OC Tianza; the TARDIS; OC Abby Tyler-Milne;

Rated: Teen

Tags: Family!Fic; Kid!Fic; Pete’s World; Letters to Santa; Christmas Fic; Family; Fluff; Hurt/Comfort; Angst; Romance; Love; gun violence; violence resulting in death; life-threatening injury; life threatening situations; life threatening illness; original characters

Summary: When Rose Tyler was little, she always wrote a Christmas wish list to Father Christmas. As she grew older, the wish list became more of a letter to someone she could confide in once a year, but she fell out of the habit somewhere along the way. Now, as a new mum, celebrating her daughter’s first Christmas, Rose takes up writing her Christmas letter to Father Christmas once again.

Rose’s Christmas letters are excerpts from her life with her beloved Tentoo and their children in Pete’s World, written once a year, for each of 31 years.

Chapter Summary: Jackie decides to make Ugly Christmas Jumpers for everyone in the family.

Notes: Wow! Another chapter that got away from me! LOL And boy, did this one put up a fight.

To my betas, @rose–nebula and mrsbertucci: once again, this chapter would not be what it is without you. You gave me inspiration (which I still feel guilty about!) and we had many, many discussions about lots of things to get me through this, including a particularly hilarious discussion about aliens (I’m dying laughing just thinking about it now… I don’t know why I find it so funny, I just do!) Just thank-you, both, for always being there when I need you, and putting up with my whinging. I love you both!

Thanks to @doctorroseprompts for their 31 Days of Ficmas prompts. The prompt I used today was Santa and/or Elves.

I know it’s the middle of April, but since the weather outside (here in Ontario) is still frightful, I don’t feel too guilty about posting part of my Christmas story. I have eight more chapters to go for the full 31 Days of Ficmas. I’m not sure if I will post any more through the year, or just write them and post them at Christmastime in December. I’ll see how it goes… ;D

Also read at: AO3; FF.net; Teaspoon

December 24th, 2038

Dear Father Christmas,

My mum never does anything by halves. When Jackie Tyler sets her mind on something, she doesn’t hold back. She gets stuck right in; she takes the bull by the horns and beats it into submission. God help anyone or anything standing in her way. Just ask the Doctor…

(On second thought, best not. He might not take it too well, especially not after… well, you’ll see.)

Anyroad, ever since we welcomed my little niece, Abby, into our lives last autumn, Mum’s been on a knitting rampage. She taught herself. She started out with little things like baby mitts and booties, but quickly progressed to sweet little cardigans and jumpers. And she’s gotten really good! My very favourite one was an adorable navy-blue jumper with the words “I LOVE MY DADDIES!” emblazoned across the front in big, pink letters. Tony and Noah (the proud Daddies in question) loved it too, and dressed little Abby in it all the time, until summer came along, and they were forced to admit it was too hot for her to wear it anymore!

This year, sometime around August, Mum’s knitting took a rather… erm… dangerous turn. Stand aside, Molly Weasley: Jackie Tyler announced she was intending to knit jumpers for all of the Tyler clan, and their significant others, this Christmas.

And not just any jumpers: Ugly Christmas Jumpers. 

She only told me and Dad, not wanting to spoil the “surprise” for everyone else. Honestly, we just had to grit our teeth and tell her what a “great idea” it was. It wasn’t like it would’ve made any difference if we’d told her how we really felt. Besides, this way we were likely avoiding the pain of a good hard smack, and months of her patented Jackie Tyler silent-not-silent treatment.

Anyway, it wasn’t like she’d told us about it because she was actually seeking our approval. No, we were to be models, though I rather think guinea-pigs would be a more apt description. Honestly, as Christmas approached, I was seriously beginning to think it would have been better to shut the entire Ugly Jumper Project down in its early stages and endure whatever punishment Mum might have dished out, but at that point, we were in too deep to turn back.

The worst part of the whole process was Mum constantly calling me throughout the autumn to come over to the mansion to try something on, or to bring over jumpers the kids had left behind when they came to visit, so she could compare the sizing with what she was knitting. To be honest it got to be a bit tedious very quickly, but I could hardly say no to her when she was throwing her heart into it. Besides, this way I was able to keep an eye out and nix any design I thought wouldn’t go down very well with the intended recipient.

But, the jumpers were, for the most part, not too bad. They were beautifully designed and made. I was honestly quite impressed. Most of them either featured a cute character like a snowman or penguin or something like that, or they were the traditional Fair Isle design, with rows of little repeating Christmas characters and symbols in garish colours. Regardless of the pattern, all of them had some sort of saying on them, like Joy to the World, ‘Tis the Season, or Let It Snow.

“Soooo, which one is mine,” I asked.

“Never you mind, little madam. For your information, I ‘aven’ started it yet. And even if I ‘ad… as if I would spoil the surprise.”

I suddenly had a horrible thought. Cold dread washed over me. “Erm… what about the Doctor’s…?” Ever since he had revamped her dishwasher to sing Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer seven or eight Christmases ago, Mum had been out for revenge. Not that she would admit it. From the look she gave me, you’d think butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, but I knew better.

“Oh, I’m tryin’ to come up with jus’ the right pattern for ‘im. I’ve a couple in mind.”

“Muuuuum, don’t do anything rash, yeah?”

“Oh, honestly Rose, don’t be such a stick-in-the-mud. I’m jus’ tryin’ to create a little Christmas cheer.”

“Oi! I’m the one stuck in the middle of you and the Doctor and your flippin’ Christmas cheer. Me and Dad!”

She ignored me, of course, and did a complete about-face on the topic. “Oh, speakin’ of your Dad… I got his jumper finished. What d’ya think?” She held up a dark green jumper, with a comical Santa body on it. The pattern stopped at the collar, so Dad’s head would be taking the place of Santa’s head (your head, Santa!) The words Ho Ho Ho were knitted in bold yellow letters below Santa’s feet. “I’ll get ‘im to wear a Father Christmas ‘at and all!”

I had to laugh. “Good luck with that!”

“’E’ll do it if ‘e knows w’at’s good for ‘im!”

“That’ll make for more of your Christmas cheer, then…”

“Oh, don’t ya worry; I’ll make it worth ‘is while.”  She winked at me. “There’ll be plenty of Christmas cheer and bells a jinglin’ around ‘ere.”

“Mum! TMI!”

“Since when ‘ave you been such a prude? I mean, jus’ look at the way you and ‘imself carry on.”

“Yeah, but there are certain things I really, really do not need to know. And that, right there: that tops the list! Look, I gotta run. Dad’s asked me to give a presentation this afternoon.”

“Oh, well, I suppose… Oh, Rose, wait a mo’. I meant to ask: Charlie, is she seein’ someone regular these days? Will she be bringin’ a date for Christmas Eve? I’ll need to make ‘im or ‘er a jumper too, yeah, whoever they are.”

“I dunno, Mum. I never know with that one these days. I worry… a lot.”

“She’ll be all right, sweetheart. It’s jus’ a phase. ‘Sides, she’s nearly twenty years old. I don’t need to remind ya w’at you were up to at ‘er age… gallivantin’ around with that bleedin’ alien. Not that you cared a fig about my worries!”

“Mum…”

“She’s jus’ like you in so many ways, so bloody-minded.”

“That isn’t helping, Mum! I jus’ hope you’re right… about it being a phase. Anyway, I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything definite about her bringing a date.”

“An’ in the meantime, I’ll knit an extra generic sort of jumper, jus’ in case.” Mum must have noticed I was about to protest, because she cut me off before I’d even had a chance to open my mouth. “Nah, don’t worry; Lor’ knows, it’s no trouble. After all, Therin might still decide to bring someone, too, and I’ll need one for ‘er. Best to be prepared.”

“All right. Suit yourself. See ya soon. Love ya.” I kissed her on the cheek and headed out the door, the problem of Charlie weighing heavily on my mind.

--ooOoo--

That night as I was standing at the stove making supper, the Doctor came up and wrapped his arms around me from behind. He gave me a lovely kiss behind the ear. It was just what I’d needed. I’d been wound up all day.

“Penny for ‘em? You’ve been doing (might I say) a piss poor job of shielding your emotions.”

“That obvious, was it?”

“Yup.” He squeezed me tighter and gave me another tender little kiss. Even without our telepathic bond, I expect he would have figured out something was wrong. And I really had been sloppy about keeping my worry contained. To be honest, I’d been hoping he’d notice. “You could have just told me if something was bothering you.”

I leaned my head back against his shoulder, giving the sauce another stir. “I know. You’ve just been so stressed lately.”

The Doctor had been called in to help with seventeen frightened and violent Trumhurgi whose ship had crashed in Torquay. They were badly injured, and the Doctor was the only one who had any decent knowledge about their unusual physiology. It had been two months of providing medical care for them, sometimes round-the-clock for several days running. He’d been training Torchwood physicians and nurses as well, but it all took time. In addition, he’d been consulting about repairs on the Trumhurgi ship, and travelling back and forth in the TARDIS, obtaining spare parts and contacting worried family members, carrying their messages and even bringing them back to Earth to visit their recuperating relatives.

I’d been working on the case too, but I was helping out the traumatized humans who’d been caught up in the original crash and the violent, defensive outburst that had followed. Shots had been fired and, by some stroke of luck, there had been no deaths, but it had been a close call. Fortunately, I had a huge, experienced team at my command, so my end of the job had been a lot easier than the Doctor’s.

“I’m all right, love,” the Doctor assured me, as we dished up our supper and sat down at the table. It was the first time in weeks we’d actually been able to eat together. “Besides, by end of this week the last of the Trumhurgi go home in their very own, working-better-than-ever ship! Let’s have tonight be about us.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. Now spill. What’s got you so upset?”

“It’s Charlie. I’m worried. I didn’t tell you about it because… well, the Trumhurgi… but Javic dropped by shortly after all that happened… with news.” The Doctor’s eyes darkened, and his lips tightened reflexively, but he waited for me to continue. “It seems Charlie has been taking a page out of Javic’s book, recently. She’s been, erm… let’s just say ‘embracing her sexuality’… a lot!”

“And he knows this how?”

“Well he ran into her at one of his favourite… spots.”

I sensed the Doctor’s anger flare, white hot. “He didn’t touch−”

“God, no! In fact, he’s sort of taken her under his wing, so to speak. Made sure she’s stayed away from all the dangerous places.”

The Doctor growled. He looked like he was fighting really hard to keep his emotions in check. His eyes flashed at me. It had been a long time since I’d been a target for the Oncoming Storm. It was properly frightening (and more than a bit thrilling!) “And you… you never thought to tell me? This? About our daughter?”

“You were so busy. And it’s not like−”

He launched himself out of his chair with a roar. “You kept this from me?”

Reflexively, I shrank back into my seat, like some timid little creature. “I’m sorry.”

He began to pace, tugging at his hair. Each time he passed me, he opened his mouth, but the words wouldn’t come out. His mental shields were locked in place and impenetrable.

After five long minutes, I decided enough was enough. It wasn’t my habit to let him intimidate me and I wasn’t about to chicken out now; history told me, it was far better to confront him, not let him get away with his bullying behaviour. “Doctor, stop! Enough. Sit down so we can talk.”

“Oh, so now you want to talk to me!”

“That’s was the point of having this conversation, yeah? Sit!”

He did as I asked, shoving his plate away from him, across the table. I grabbed onto his hand before he could move it, pouring my love through our bond. I was gratified when his shields began to give; it was only a little, but it was a beginning.

“Any other information you want to impart?” he bit out.

“Well… apparently she has one of Wilfred’s Vortex Manipulators, so… erm… she’s dancing through time and space.”

“Bloody hell!” He moved to stand again, but I held firm to his hand. He glared daggers at me. “Let go! We have to−”

“Have to what, Doctor? What do you propose we do? You’re not going to go storming in there like the Great Exterminator!”

“Try me!”

“This is Charlie… intimidation has never worked on that kid, and it’s not about to this time, either. We need to be rational and calm and supportive.”

“Supportive! But she’s−”

“I know. And Javic has been keeping an eye on her. He’s making sure she checks in with him, and he assures me she’s doing… fine.”

“Somehow, I don’t imagine Javic’s definition of ‘fine’ is quite the same as ours.”

I had to admit (but only to myself) I’d been thinking much the same way, though I knew Javic: he’d go to the ends of creation to protect any of us. “Hope’s been keeping in touch with her too,” I offered, hoping to appease the Doctor.

“Well that, that is a bloody recipe for disaster!” His anger flared.

Again, I had to agree with him, Santa. For all that she means well, Hope tends to get a bit bossy with her younger siblings. She’s mellowed over the years, but still… My arguments were crumbling around me. “You’re right. Let’s go!”

“What?”

“Let’s go… TARDIS. You. Me. Chat with our daughter.”

“But I thought you said...?”

“Changed my mind.”

--ooOoo--

Charlie, it turns out, was not thrilled to see us. I hadn’t been expecting a joyous family reunion or anything, but I think it would have gone a lot better if the Doctor hadn’t barged up to the bar where she was cheerfully chatting up some green-skinned bloke, waving his psychic paper around like some crazed maniac and bellowing to said bloke that Charlie was under-aged (an outright lie… on that planet) and if he didn’t want to find himself in a whole heap of trouble he’d better scram. He’d then grabbed Charlie by the arm and hauled her out of the building and into the TARDIS.

To say Charlie was furious was the understatement of the year! She was ranting on about how it was bad enough her “puritanical” sister was on her case, but the fact that we were now interfering in her life as well incensed her to no end.  She only finally calmed after I ordered the Doctor out of the TARDIS. I would deal with him later.

In the end, there was very little I could actually do other than let Charlie know we’d both be there for her if she ever needed us. She assured me she was fine: having fun; being careful; and not doing anything too wild (and “bloody hell, Mum, I can’t believe I’m even having this conversation with you… it’s just wrong…”.) I tried to understand, but I just couldn’t put myself in that mindset, and I told her as much.

“It’s just such a relief to be able to have fun and feel good without any obligations. I have so many obligations, Mum. School, Hand in Hand, work... This makes me feel, well free.”

Oh, Santa, it was then I realized how much that little girl (young woman) had taken on in her young life.

She must have seen the look of horror on my face. She grabbed my hand, and our familial bond snapped into place. She read me like an open book. “Mum, don’t you dare feel guilty. You never, ever pressured me, any of us, to do anything we didn’t want. You encouraged us in the best way possible, you… and Dad.” She chuckled and rolled her eyes at the mention of her father.  “This is just my way of letting go a bit, taking time for me. Can you understand that?”

“Course I can, love. I worry, that’s all. Promise me you’ll keep in touch, yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“And listen to Javic.”

“Muuuuum! I know!”

“Now, since we spoiled your evening with that young man, how about we take you out to supper, yeah?”

“That sounds great! And don’t worry too much about my evening. He was a bit of a tosser, anyway. I was just about to walk out when Dad came barging in like some daft Onidsessi on pep pills. Urrrgh,” she groaned, “promise you’ll never let Dad near pep pills. Can you imagine…?”

“Oh, god, your Dad… he’s out there… Not on pep pills, but you know as well as me, he’s quite capable of stirring up all kinds of trouble without them if he gets a bit bored.”

Thankfully the Doctor hadn’t been stirring up trouble. We found him, pacing back and forth in front of the TARDIS doors. Charlie skipped right over to him, stopping him in his tracks and planting a kiss on his cheek. I couldn’t help but smile. We might all drive one another completely mental sometimes, but there was no lack of love in our little family, and this incident had assured me our children always knew we would be a safe haven for them whenever they needed it.

With all our emotions running high, I never remembered to ask Charlie if she was bringing home a friend at Christmas, so Mum could plan an appropriate jumper. At this point, though, I didn’t imagine there would be anyone special, given that she seemed to be determined to stay away from serious relationships for the time being.

I couldn’t have been more wrong…

Santa, I need to run. We’re all at Mum’s tonight, and the jumpers have finally been unveiled. There were a few… complications. And I’m running interference! I’ll try to explain later.

Blimey! There goes the Doctor, now, and he looks far too happy for anyone’s good, especially considering…  Look, Santa, I gotta go! I’ll finish this letter up later.

--ooOoo--

Santa, I’m back, but I’m not sure where the hell I’m going to begin. A lot of stuff went down tonight. A lot of stuff.

Mum was just itching to hand out her Ugly Jumper parcels to everyone; I couldn’t get her to sit still, she was so excited. We were still waiting for Charlie to arrive and for Tony, Noah, and Abby, too. The Doctor had gone to collect Charlie in the TARDIS. Mum was bouncing off the walls.

Thank goodness my brother and his family decided to show up just after the Doctor left. Entertaining Abby was keeping Mum rather brilliantly distracted, and it meant I didn’t need to entertain Mum. As it turned out, it was just as well Mum was preoccupied, because it gave her time to ease into meeting Charlie’s plus-one which turned out to be a bit of a shock for her, just not for the immediately obvious reason…

The lovely, familiar sound of the TARDIS filled the room about fifteen minutes after Tony arrived. She landed in her customary corner of Mum’s living room, wearing her traditional Blue Box disguise, but topped with festive snow and icicles, and a colourful wreath on her door. The door opened, and the Doctor stepped out, meeting my gaze with raised eyebrows and a little prickle of warning through our bond. He was being very guarded, not sharing any specific thoughts or images, and that made me distinctly uneasy.

Charlie followed him and was tugging behind her what could only be her date for the evening. The creature seemed to unfold itself from the TARDIS. It was very tall and rail thin. Charlie was holding onto one of its appendages, a hand of sorts, at the end of one of its four upper limbs, formed from an assortment of tentacle-like structures. “C’mon Hrau-Ard,” Charlie coaxed. “You’re gonna love my family! Hell, you and Dad are already like best mates!”

“Possibly a bit of an exaggeration seeing as we only met six minutes ago,” the Doctor countered, allowing Charlie and Hrau-Ard to step in front of him, “but he seems like a fine chap, I have to say.”

It took me a moment to get over my shock. Now, let me be clear, Santa, I have no trouble with interspecies relationships… I mean look at my darling husband, not exactly human for all he looks it. It’s just that Charlie, for all her sexual experimentation has never strayed far from standard humanoid partners before... at least according to Javic’s accounts. That’s why I needed to collect my thoughts before I moved forward to greet our new guest.

“Hello,” I smiled up into the creature’s majestic face. And majestic it was, by any standards… beautiful. Trust Charlie to pick a gorgeous date! A long muzzle, with an expressive mouth on the end, swooped up into a spectacular curved crest above it’s head. The crest had two main parts, a longer one below and a shorter part above. Its face morphed gradually from a rich teal colour at the muzzle to a deep indigo at the tips of the crests and was edged with many sensory tentacles and filaments. Two large purple eyes bulged above the snout, and several secondary eyes protruded from either side of the crests, set on stalks which were each adorned with several metallic rings. “I’m Rose Tyler, Charlie’s mum.” I held my hands out, spread open before me in the universal sign of peaceful greeting.

The creature bowed its head to me and dropping Charlie’s hand, held all four of it’s tentacle-tipped upper limbs out, mirroring me. Its fluting voice emanated from the crests. “Christmas greetings to you, Rose Tyler. My name is Hrau-Ard. It is lovely to meet you.”

“He’s male… mostly,” Charlie informed me, “so it’s okay to use ‘he’ and ‘him’.”

Hrau-Ard piped in, bowing his head to me again, “Those pronouns seem to be the most accurate.”

Before I could respond to Hrau-Ard, Charlie impatiently snagged the hand she’d been holding earlier and tugged him past me. “Well, come on in and meet the rest of the family!”

He hooted in surprise, his long tan-coloured tunic billowing and brushing me as he passed. It dropped halfway down his two legs and contrasted spectacularly with the blues and greens of his skin and had an opening in the back through which a pair of wing-like appendages extended. They were bright turquoise and filmy (too delicate to be proper wings) and vibrated as he moved.

I admit, I couldn’t suppress a chuckle at Mum’s incredulous expression as she met him. She passed Abby back to Noah, and looked Hrau-Ard up and down, offering him all the appropriate greetings. She had come a long way since her “bog-monster” days on the Estate and was extremely well-versed in alien diplomacy. After all, she’d welcomed plenty into her home over the years. But, despite all her training and experience, she was still my mum, and I nearly choked when she repeated his name back for clarification: “Howard? Your name is Howard?”

With a low whistle of approval and if the TARDIS was translating properly, amusement, Hrau-Ard inclined his head, his facial filaments bobbing with the movement. “I enjoy the way you say my name, Charlie’s Gran.”

“Oh, just call me Jackie, please. Howard! Of all the names!”

“Is this name of significance to you?”

Mum glanced nervously over to Pete, who was busy grilling Wilfred and Tianza about the medicinal properties of a Gallifreyan plant he was interested in using in a new Vitex drink.  “Oh, ‘e’s jus’ an old mate of mine.”

“Fine fellow! Liked fruit!” the Doctor enthused from the TARDIS door with a broad, toothy grin. “I borrowed his pyjamas and dressing gown once!”

“Well then,” Hrau-Ard bleeped, “I am honoured to be his namesake.”

“Oh, off the two of you go then.” Mum shooed Charlie and “Howard” off to meet Tony, Noah, and Abby. She fixed a glare at the Doctor, who had stepped up behind me. “See, there, Time Lump! A proper alien, tentacles and all! ‘E at least ‘as the decency to look the part.”

“So sorry to disappoint you with my lack of appendages, Jackie (after all, I live my life just to please you),” he snarked back at her. “Fortunately, as it turns out, there’s one Tyler who is rather fond of my one, rather impressive appendage, just the way it is.”

“All right, you two,” I cut off Mum before she had a chance to bite back, “it’s Christmastime, yeah? Peace on Earth. See, the halls are all decked,” I gestured around me, “merry and bright. Let’s try to enjoy ourselves.”

“Ooooh, I’d like to deck ‘is halls, all right…” Mum grumbled.

The Doctor leaned out around me to shoot another barb at Mum. “Is that your resting Grinch face, Jackie, or are you just happy to see me?”

Mum lunged at him, slapping-hand poised and ready. Fortunately for the Doctor, I was still in between the two of them. “Stop!”

“Cuddly as a cactus; charming as an eel… Mrs. Griii-inch” the Doctor sing-songed.

“STOP!” My shout silenced the room, everyone turning to stare at me.

“Oh, don’t mind them,” Charlie cooed at Hrau-Ard, “that’s sorta their normal behaviour.”

“Look what you two made me do,” I hissed at Mum and the Doctor. “Be civil! Honestly!” Fed up, I made to leave the two of them and go to the kitchen to pour myself a well-earned glass of wine, when Mum caught me by the sleeve.

“Blimey, Rose!” she whispered at me. “That Howard fella ‘as wings!”

“Yeah, well spotted! And tentacles!”

“No, no, no! The wings! ‘E’ll never fit into any of my jumpers! Never! And ‘e’s so bleedin’ skinny and all. (Blimey, ‘e makes the Doctor look like a sumo wrestler, ‘e does!) The jumper I made would be…”

“Mum, you don’t need to worry. He’ll understand, I’m sure.”

She burst into tears. “But I wanted everyone to ‘ave… and now ‘e’ll be without something from me… An’ it’s Christmas…”

The Doctor stepped up, concerned. He put a gentle hand on Mum’s shoulder. “What’s wrong? If it’s what I said, Jackie… you know I was just taking the mick.”

“No, no, no… nothin’ like that, ya plum.” She patted his cheek and gave him a watery smile. “I’m jus’ disappointed is all.” She excused herself and rushed off in the direction of the powder room.

“What was all that about?”

“Promise you won’t tell her I told you?”

“Oh, you know I can keep a secret, Rose! Besides, I know better than to cross Jackie Tyler by leaking sensitive information. C’mon, give.”

I explained to him about Mum’s dilemma, how she had knitted ugly Christmas jumpers for everyone (his face blanched, probably imagining what she might have created for him) and now because of Hrau-Ard’s unexpected physical attributes, none of the jumpers she had set aside would ever possibly fit.

“Well, I could help,” he suggested. “She’s probably not going to like it much, and I can’t say I’m much of a fan of it myself, but I have an idea that just might work… if she’s willing.”

--ooOoo--

Everyone was so busy with canapes and punch and cocktails they never noticed Mum and the Doctor bundling into the TARDIS and the TARDIS dematerializing. The TARDIS was proud to be showing off her new “Silent Mode”: there was only a little bit of a breeze to indicate she had ever been there. (My little darling.)

They had only been gone for about ten minutes before the TARDIS rematerialized and Mum burst through the doors, beaming and carrying a neatly wrapped parcel: Hrau-Ard’s gift. To my utter amazement, she turned back to stroke the TARDIS’ doorframe, planting a soft kiss on the blue wood. “Thank-you, sweetheart. You’re a wonder, you are.”

The TARDIS hummed in response, a wonderfully joyous sound, as Mum practically skipped over to the Christmas tree to tuck the present underneath.

The Doctor stepped up beside me, closing the TARDIS doors behind him. “They hit it off like a house on fire,” he told me, “the pair of them, thick as thieves. Turns out when your Mum was ill a few years ago, and I put her in stasis, the TARDIS kept her company in her mind; they became fast friends. Brilliant!” He grinned down at me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me against him as we followed Mum to the tree. Then he paused, and I glanced up at him to ask why we had stopped. The grin melted from his face. “Although… I don’t much like the idea of the two of them plotting against me behind my back.”

I just laughed and put my head on his shoulder. “Blimey… you’re getting a bit paranoid! How long were you gone in your timestream?”

“Five and a half days, Rose. Five and a half days… with Jackie Tyler on my TARDIS! That’s enough to make anyone paranoid!”

I admit, Santa, I shamelessly started to laugh harder. “How did you ever survive?”

“After the first day, I learned pretty quick to keep my head down. I made myself scarce.”

“Oh, you’ll be all right.” I nudged him with my elbow. “They won’t plot against you…” (…much, I added silently.)

“I heard that!” He arched an irritable eyebrow at me. “Do you realize she’s got her own room, Rose? No, not room, suite! The TARDIS gave her an entire suite of rooms with her own telly and a little galley too!”

“Awww, that’s lovely.” I was warmed through that the TARDIS had welcomed Mum so enthusiastically. My darling husband, however, was another matter. “Don’t worry, Doctor, I’ll protect you from any plotting. C’mon, we better hurry. I don’t think Mum will be able to contain herself much longer.”

Mum was gathering everyone together, so she could hand out her creations, and getting a bit shirty at people who weren’t paying attention, so I dragged the Doctor over by the hand and found a comfortable seat for us.

Content that everyone was present and listening to her, Mum spoke: “I’ve decided to start a new Tyler-family tradition: Ugly Christmas Jumpers! Made by yours truly.” She preened and there was a round of groans from the family and a perplexed hoot from Hrau-Ard. “Oi! They’re not really ugly… that’s jus’ w’at they’re called, yeah. See I’m wearin’ one.” She stood up to show off the jumper she was wearing. It was made of soft, silvery yarn and she had sewn tinsel across the front to form the words “Don’t get your tinsel in a twist,” in cursive script. Of course, she also had tinsel tied around her up-do. She looked sparkly and lovely. My Mum… She’s been through so much in her life, experienced so many odd things, and taken it all in stride; things that would make most people go completely loopy. I love her so much. I was positively chuffed to see her so happy, handing out brightly coloured parcels to all our family.

Dad was the first one to get his present, and he was a real sport about it, donning both his new Santa jumper and the Santa hat Mum had included in his parcel. Everyone burst out laughing when he stood up and smoothed his jumper down over his tummy, and said: “Do you think this makes me look fat? Ho-ho-ho!”

“Oh, sit down, you!” Mum admonished, but I could tell she was pleased as punch.

After that there was great excitement as we all opened our packages. Abby’s jumper was the cutest little thing, with an adorable gingerbread man wearing a Santa hat on a bright, red background. There were miniature gingerbread men down the sleeves and a few white strategically-placed snowflakes. I figure it’ll be a new favourite piece of clothing for her doting daddies!

Javic’s jumper featured a grumpy Santa reading his list of children’s names. The words “I’m at the top of Santa’s naughty list,” were emblazoned underneath. He was ecstatic, claiming it couldn’t have been more perfect. My jumper was… well, glorious in it’s tackiness! And I loved it! Oh, Santa, it was TARDIS blue, and a string of knitted fairy lights trailed all over it. In the middle, the fairy lights formed the words “Merry and Bright” and were lit up with little LEDs. Mum had outdone herself.

Hrau-Ard seemed uncertain what to do with his package, but Charlie soon sorted him out, helping him unwrap the gift. He held the jumper up in front of him, looking around at everyone else trying theirs on. He peered at the design on the front, all of his eyes trained on the bright patterns, and gave a long low hoot.

“Well, are ya goin’ to put it on, then?” Charlie prompted. “Here, I’ll help ya!” Together, the two of them made short work of slipping off Hrau-Ard’s tan tunic and replacing it with the jumper.

Hrau-Ard stood up out of his chair to show his jumper off. It was long, like the undertunic he wore, dropping to mid-thigh, and had perfectly aligned spaces for all four of his upper limbs and his wings.

“The TARDIS helped Jackie with the proper design and style, so it was compatible with his cultural expectations and with his body configuration,” the Doctor murmured in my ear. “She even provided all the yarn, if you can believe that!”

I took a closer look at the jumper. It featured an green-clad elf body on a scarlet background. Like Dad’s jumper, Hrau-Ard’s head took the place of the elf’s head. The words underneath said: “Take an ‘elfie with me!” It was hilarious! We were all in stitches, especially Hrau-Ard, who particularly appreciated the pun in the wording, and was honking with joy, and pulling out his mobile to take ‘elfies with everyone.

I couldn’t help but notice Therin was the only one not laughing. He wasn’t even smiling. He sat on the other side of the room glowering at Charlie and Hrau-Ard and their easy familiarity. Clearly, he hadn’t gotten over Charlie. He still loved her, despite her obvious disinterest in him… at least as a romantic partner. My heart absolutely ached for him as he quietly trudged out of the room, wearing his Fair Isle T-rex jumper.

“I should go check on him,” I whispered to the Doctor.  

“Nah, he needs to work this out for himself, love. He can’t change what’s in his heart. He just needs time to come to terms with it.”

“I hate to see him so miserable though… I wish I could−”

“Oi!” Mum’s shriek of disapproval cut through my thoughts. “Where’s your jumper, then, Doctor?”

The Doctor shifted nervously next to me, and I felt his crushing fear in my mind. He picked at the wrapping paper on the package in his lap.  

“C’mon then, ya big baby! Open it up! I made it special, jus’ for you.”

“That… that’s what worries me,” he muttered under his breath.

“Here, I’ll help you,” I offered. Honestly, Santa, Mum was right. He was being a big baby about it. Coward every time. “Best get it over with, like ripping a plaster off.”

“I don’t like plasters, and I don’t like the sound of your mum saying, ‘special just for you’. That, right there, Rose, sends my entire brain into mauve status!”

“C’mon, how bad can it be?” Even as I said the words, I glanced over at Mum who was watching the Doctor with a piercing, self-satisfied eye, and I braced myself. “Never mind. Just get it over with, yeah.”

By this time, we had the attention of the whole room, and the Doctor in a less-than-convincing act of enthusiasm, tore away the wrapping paper in one fell swoop. He reached into the shredded paper and pulled out the jumper, holding it up gingerly. Santa, I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. I swear the tears were pouring down my face, and the Doctor was scowling at me.

I better explain. The torso and most of the arms of the jumper were mostly brown. Around the cuffs of the arms, and at certain places over the shoulders were knitted green leaves. Some of them also trailed over the torso and back. When we lifted the arms of the jumper, we found dangling from their undersides none other than beautifully crafted, little knit pears! Pears, Santa, which as I’m sure you know are the fruit the Doctor despises most in the universe… for reasons that have never been very clear to me.

The crowning glory was the gigantic bird sewn firmly to the left shoulder: a partridge.

Mum had given the Doctor a Partridge in a Pear Tree-themed jumper!

Strangely, the bird was not knitted but a small-scale but realistic model, complete with feathers… and that gave me pause for thought, and trust me when I say the thoughts were not optimistic for the Doctor…

“Well, w’at are you waitin’ for?” Mum barked. “Put it on, then?”

“What? You expect me to wear this travesty… this… this pitiable excuse for clothing? Nope. Nope. Nope. Not happening.”

“Oh, just put it on, Dad!” Hope cajoled from across the room. “We’re all wearing them.”

“Yours don’t have pears and a great bloody bird attached, do they?”

“The jumpers are splendid!” Hrau-Ard spoke up with an earnest honk. “This is the most comfortable piece of clothing I have ever owned. And it is humorous too. Doctor, you really should try yours.”

Mum just about melted on the spot at Hrau-Ard’s compliment. “Oh, Howard! You’re such a love. But, you’re just sayin’ that!”

“No, I am sincere, Jackie. It is perfect. I think I like Christmas. And Ugly Christmas Jumpers!”

“Well then, sweetheart, I’ll make you another for next year, yeah?

Howard… I mean Hrau-Ard hooted happily in response, and Mum turned her attention back to the Doctor, by which I mean, she glared daggers at him.

“Oh, all right,” the Doctor conceded, “…if it means I don’t have to listen to any more of your harping,” he added under his breath. He stalked off to the downstairs loo, crushing the jumper in his clenched fist.

“I better go help him out…” I made my excuses and rushed off after him.

I heard Wilfred snickering to Hope, Gray, and Tianza, as I passed them. “Ten quid says they’re off for a snog… or worse.”

Hope just laughed. “No deal, little brother! That’s a sure thing.”

“Oi!” (I’m sorry, I had to protest!) “Enough out of you lot!”

“C’mon, Mum, face it,” Charlie interjected, “you two are an embarrassment.”

“Yeah,” Wilfred agreed, “I’ve lost count of the number of times we’ve had to spring the two of you from prison for public indecency.”

“Oi, what’s this then?” Mum leaned in for more tidbits of information, and I cleared out of the room as fast as I could.

Exasperated, I knocked on the powder room door. “Doctor, it’s just me.”

He opened the door to let me in.

“Blimey, we’ll have to watch ourselves. That lot are making wagers on whether or not we shag in here, and they’re telling Mum all about our arrests…”

He groaned, sniffing in disdain. “Bloody brilliant! Christmas, an annual excuse for almost completely unfounded gossip and rumour.”

“Exactly!”

“And then there’s this…” He held up the jumper. “I don’t know why I have to put on this preposterous get-up?”

“Because as I recall, a few years back, you mucked about with Mum’s dishwasher. Now it’s payback time,” I reminded him. “C’mon then…” I helped him pull off the (sexy) red jumper he was currently wearing, and I couldn’t resist running my fingers through the sparse hair on his chest. “Tell you what, though: if you’re a good boy and put the jumper on, I will make it very much worth your while…”

“Oh, yes!”

I dropped to my knees in front of him.

“What? Right now?”

“I’ll make it quick… I know all your secrets.”

He growled at me, his eyes darkening. “I’ll be wanting another round later tonight, Tyler.”

“You think so, do ya?”

“Of course, I’ll be happy to return the favour. I’ll make you come so hard, your screams will be heard all the way to Gallifrey and back! Think you’re up for that?”

I gazed up at him with what I hoped was a seductive smile and stroked him where he was now straining against the front of his trousers. “You’re on! But the real question is, can you manage not to scream? We don’t really need that lot making any more wagers at our expense.”

--ooOoo--

Sorry Santa, got off on a bit of a tangent there… It happens sometimes, as you’re well aware.

So… where was I? Oh, yeah, so fifteen minutes later, we came out of the loo. With my help (holding the partridge), we managed to get the jumper over the Doctor’s head. He looked very, very, extremely not happy, despite my recent… erm… display of affection. “I feel ridiculous!” he gritted out to me.

“It’s just for a few hours, love.” I patted his arm and took his hand for moral support and made bloody sure to conceal my amusement from him.

As we returned to the living room, out the corner of my eye, I was pretty certain I saw some money changing hands, although, to his credit, the Doctor had kept very quiet and I had checked that my hair and make-up were in order. Maybe they were wagering on whether he’d be wearing the jumper… Who knows?

Anyway, I had to agree with the Doctor’s assessment: the jumper did look more than a bit silly, but everyone cheered and laughed at it.  They were having so much fun over it, and the Doctor ended up being a good sport, showing it off, spreading his arms and making silly faces about the “vile” pears dangling from them.

I admit, I kept to myself the fact that I thought there had to be more to it than just a jumper with pears and a big, daft bird. Mum had waited years to get her revenge. She wasn’t about to let him off with something so… simple. I could only wonder what she had planned and when it would happen.

As it turned out, I didn’t have to wonder very long.

It was only a few minutes later when Mum called us all over for supper. She, of course, had place-cards at every setting. The Doctor was sat between Hrau-Ard and Gray, somewhere in the middle of one long side of the table, and Mum and I were directly across from them. Charlie was on the other side of Hrau-Ard; Noah and Tony were sat on either side of Abby, who was in Tony’s old high chair at one end of the table; and Dad was at the other end. Everyone else was scattered randomly around.

As the first course was served, everyone began to chatter to one another. The Doctor seemed quite relaxed, but I couldn’t help noticing the way Mum’s eyes kept fixing on him as he made cheerful small talk to everyone around him. Her lips pursed reflexively every time he stopped talking. She tried a couple of times to get Dad to tell us about something that had happened at work, but he had insisted he didn’t want to talk shop. He was determined to take some time away from it.

“Fine,” Mum muttered under her breath, “just tryin’ to liven up the conversation. Honestly.”

“I thought we were having a lovely time,” I told her. “Everyone’s relaxed and chatting… well except Therin, but you know… What’s going on? You’re up to something. I know you. You never ask Dad about Torchwood.”

“Pfffft, don’t be daft! Course I ask ‘im. And jus’ w’at do you mean ‘up to somethin’’? W’at could I possibly be up to?” With that, she turned deliberately away from me and began speaking to Hope about the progress of the Lunar settlements and asking her how she was finding living on a base. “I don’ know if I could take it, yeah. No fresh air, being cooped up inside all the time. I think I’d lose my mind, yeah.”

The Doctor’s eyes brightened as he responded to her. I was relieved he didn’t end up spewing out something rude about her already having lost her mind years back, which honestly seemed like it would be the natural course of the conversation. Instead, he launched into one of his diatribes about the environmental systems on the bases and how they purify the air.

With a smirk, Mum sat back in her seat to listen.

“…and remarkably, the fundamental design never changes from base to base, year after year. It’ll be centuries before someone gets the bright idea that basic human needs aren’t quite being met by–″ He was cut off when the partridge on his shoulder swung around and flapped its tail across his face. He frowned, spun the bird back around, and began to speak again.

This time the bird nipped his ear.

“Fuck!” he shouted in pain, which of course was mimicked loudly by Abby at the other end of the table.

“You dolt!” Mum snapped. “Now, look what you’ve done!”

“Oi! It’s your blasted bird that bit me! Oi! It just did it again!”

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Giggles erupted from the little girl as her daddies tried to shush her, and everyone had a good laugh.

Except Mum (“Don’t be so stupid! It’s not a real bird, ya numpty!”); and the Doctor, who glowered at Mum but (remarkably) held his tongue.

“Mum,” I hissed at her, “it bit him. I saw it.”

“Bit him? Stuff and nonsense!”

The Doctor shook his head at me, and at his telepathic request, I decided not to pursue it any further.

Abby had calmed down again, her new word forgotten as quickly as it had come, and normal conversation resumed around the table as the main course was served. It wasn’t long before the Doctor had dived into a conversation about the most current medical breakthroughs with Gray and with Hrau-Ard, who was apparently training as a physician as well. They bantered back and forth for a short time and then the Doctor launched into a long discourse about the benefits of some sort of medical scanner or other. About a minute in, the bird wheeled around, slapping him in the face with its tail once more, and another few seconds after that, it bit him again.

“Right! Ow! Again, you bloody– Ow!” He dug into his trouser pockets for his sonic, threatening the bird with it. “Now, we’ll sort– Blimey! STOP! Ow!”

I glanced over at Mum who was chuckling away to herself, while everyone else was up, getting ready to help the Doctor. Oh, she knew exactly what was going on. And I had no doubt she had orchestrated it.

Hrau-Ard had stood up and was holding the bird still, his tentacled appendages wrapped around it securely. He was doing a great job keeping it from pecking at the Doctor’s ear, which seemed to happen every time he tried to talk.

Mum scoffed next to me. “Talks far too much, anyway, that one. Maybe this will teach ‘im to keep quiet and not monopolize the conversation.”

“So, this was you, then? How the hell did you...?”

“Oh, sweetheart, it only goes off when ‘e natters on for too long. It resets again after ‘e’s given our ears a bit of a break.”

“But…”

“Oh, I know a few of the folks down in Tech. They were quite ‘appy to do me a little favour, especially after ‘imself barged in there a month or so back and told ‘em they were sequencin’ somethin’-or-other all wrong.”

“He told me about that. It was all wrong!”

“Well, seems they didn’t like ‘is tone… all ‘igh and mighty and ‘I’m so clever’.”

I flopped back in my chair, and just shook my head. I returned my attention to the other side of the table where the Doctor had adjusted the settings on his sonic and was brandishing it at the animatronic bird.

“Oi,” Mum yelped, “don’t you damage my bird.”

“Priorities, Jackie! Your bloody bird is trying to damage me. Do you realize how hard I had to concentrate to get these ears… not to mention this hair?”

“It is really great hair,” I agreed.

“Oh, shush you!” Mum shot me a scathing look.

“Right then! Allons-y!” Heedless of my mum’s protests, the Doctor activated the screwdriver pointing it at his feathered attacker, and several things happened all at once.

The strangest screeching sound reverberated from Hrau-Ard’s crests in harmonics that mimicked the sonic. He lost his grip on the bird and doubled over, two of his appendages flying to his crests. “This tickles! This tickles! I think I am about to…”

The bird, freed from it’s confines, resumed its attack on the Doctor’s ear, feathers flying everywhere. The Doctor, fumbled his sonic screwdriver, caught it again, and made a quick adjustment to the frequency, constantly yammering and threatening the bird and Mum, not quite making the connection that if he just shut up, the stupid thing would stop pecking him. Finally finding an opening, he pressed the tip of the sonic to the bird’s breast, activating it with a triumphant “Ha!”

Hrau-Ard had resumed his composure once the sonic had stopped but started making that bizarre sound from his crests again once it was reactivated. His facial filaments were absolutely trembling. “It is happening again. I am going to… I am going to…″

The sound seemed to amplify the effects of the sonic. The hapless partridge stopped its attack, but its entire body began to pulse as the wailing hoots from Hrau-Ard’s crest intensified. Everyone was covering their ears, except the Doctor who had turned off the sonic, and was watching in horror, from the corner of his eye, the ominous pulsing of the bird on his left shoulder.

“I am going to–″ Hrau-Ard shouted, and his crests shrieked in a final eruption of noise, and the bird’s body suddenly exploded with a massive blast, sending feathers, sparks, and electronic gizmos everywhere.

“–sneeze,” Hrau-Ard hooted into the silence that had fallen over us all.

A long moment later, just as everyone was catching their collective breath, the Doctor yelped, as cinders from the explosion caught in his hair, causing it to smoulder and burn. “Ow, ow, ow! Blimey! My face! My hair!”

Abby started howling; everyone started shouting; I leaped across the top of the table to get to my poor husband; and Gray, the only one maintaining his composure, picked up a pitcher of ice water and dumped it over the Doctor’s head.

The Doctor sat there, completely stunned, as water dripped from his fringe into his face.

“Oh my God! Doctor!” I pulled his damp body against me, hugging him tight. “Are you all right?” I pulled back from the hug to look him in the face. I took in the angry red welts, the burned hair and…

He must have seen my astonishment. “What? What is it?”

“Your… your left eyebrow. It’s… it’s gone…”

“What? What?” His fingers flew to his brow, where the hair had been singed away. “WHAT?”

“And some of your hair… just up the left side…”

“Jackie Tyler!” he bellowed. He made to get up from his chair, but Gray shoved him back into it.

“Sit still! You have burns. I’ll need to use the dermal regenerator on them.”

“It won’t bring back my eyebrow, though, will it? My left eyebrow too. It’s my most expressive one,” he added wistfully.

Mum had come rushing around the table. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry! That wasn’t supposed to happen. I’ll cut your hair for ya, real nice. And your eyebrow will grow back again in no time, I expect.”

“Yeah, I suppose it will,” he said relaxing a bit. “And more expressive than ever! Makes you think, what would I ever do without eyebrows?” He shuddered at the thought. “And, Jackie, I have to admit, you couldn’t have known that the sonic would resonate with Hrau-Ard’s crests and make the bird explode like that. Though, I have to say, good riddance!”

“It is all my fault. I must apologize profusely,” Hrau-Ard hooted, his wings fluttering.

Mum protested, “Oh, no, Howard!”

“Nah, she’s right, Hrau-Ard,” the Doctor reassured him, “don’t be silly! But now I know not to use my sonic at that frequency in your presence.” He beamed. “Besides, what fun would Christmas be without a little bit of unexpected excitement?”

“At least there aren’t any blinkin’ killer Christmas trees, yeah?” Mum pointed out, as Gray finished up with the dermal regenerator.

“Oh yes! Too true. Looking on the bright side, Jackie. Do it while you can, because you know what…?” He bounded out of his chair, tore the remnants of the hapless partridge from his shoulder, and plucked the Santa hat from Dad’s head. He shoved it over his wet, scorched hair and with a wicked grin spreading over his face, he sang: “Jackie Tyler… you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout. I’m telling you why: Santa Claus is coming to town.”

Oh, God, Santa, the look on Mum’s face. “Oh, you wouldn’t dare…”

“And Santa isn’t happy, Jackie. Really, you better watch out…” He skipped away out of the dining room, heading directly for the kitchen.

Mum took off after him. “You stay away from my appliances. You’re a bleedin’ hellion, you are,” she shouted.

Hrau-Ard honked in alarm and pulled Charlie next to him, wrapping his tentacles around her.

“Don’t worry, love,” Charlie sounded resigned, “you get used to it once you’ve been around this crowd long enough. We’re all a bit mental, but we all love one another.”

So, there it is, Santa. A typical Tyler-Noble Christmas!

I spent quite a while trying to intercept the Doctor before he did any damage to Mum’s kitchen... and other things. I actually found him mucking about in her en suite. Not sure if he managed to do anything before I caught up to him and got him back home, but at least I got to him before Mum did. Like I said before, he looks far too pleased with himself, despite the missing eyebrow and the singed hair. He must have left some sort of surprise behind for Mum. No doubt I’ll hear about it soon enough.

And right now, I’m just waiting for him to “return the favour” he promised me in Mum’s powder room earlier, something about making me scream so loud I’d be heard all the way to Gallifrey. He’s just spending an awful long time in the loo... probably trying out my eyebrow pencils, if I know him. Maybe later I’ll take the TARDIS out, go back a few days, and get him some of his own for his stocking before everyone gets up tomorrow morning.

Happy Christmas, Santa. Give my love to all. Sorry for going off on a bit of a tangent earlier. I was just lying here, waiting for the Doctor and thinking… Oh, I reckon you’re used to it by now, yeah. There’ve been a few tangents over the years and I haven’t had a lump of coal yet. But, just saying, if you feel the urge to leave a lump of coal in the Doctor’s and my mum’s stockings, by all means, go right ahead! I’m all for it!

                                                                                                                                 Love, Rose

[mythicalpatterns]

I was tagged by the lovely @mythosethan 💕

Answer the following:

THE LAST

1. Drink: Sparkling water with taste of mango 2. Phone call: my grandma 3. Text message: my bff, asking for money so i could buy us that water 4. Song I listened to: running with the wolves by Aurora 5. Time you cried: yesterday at work yay

6. Dated someone twice: nah 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: meeh, kind of 8. Ever been cheated on: thankfully no 9. Lost someone special: yes 10: Been depressed: oh yeah baby, clinically and chronically so

THREE FAVORITE COLORS  1. brick red 2. mustard yellow 3. thoose two together

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU  1. Made new friends? Yes, you guys amongst them 2. Fallen out of love? I thought so but nope 3. Laughed until you cried? always 4. Found out somebody was talking about you? Yes but in good ways 5. Met someone who changed you? I feel llike everyone i meet changes me in some aspect 6. Found out who your friends are? I know who they are – the best people on earth 7. Kiss someone on your facebook list? Lol yes

GENERAL  1. How many facebook friends have you met in real life? I think almost all of them 2. Do you have any pets? My baby and most precious cat Prince Ali Baba 3. Do I want to change my name? Nah, would be too confusing 4. What did you do for your last birthday? Studied, had a migraine and hosted a family gathering 5. What time did you wake up? 8 am 6. What were you doing at 12:00 Last night? Scrollling thorugh tumblr lol 7. Name something I can’t wait for: to be happily in love 8. When was the last time you saw your mother: a month or so ago 9. What are you listening to right now? My BFF complaining about the weather 10. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Yes, he was brittish and my friends roomate 11. Something that is getting on your nerves: comment sections on the internet. Mosquitos 12. Most visited website: Tumblr alongside youtube 13. Hair color: varies, ashy blonde with dark roots but usually coloured purple- ish or pinkish or both 14. Hair length: it’s a slanted bob but shorter underneath, i am trying to grow out my undercut 15. Do you have a crush on someone? My BFF’s twin sister so that is working out great for me 16. Piercings: sadly no 17. What do you like about yourself? I care a lot about people and i can also be hilarious. Humble. 18. Blood type: dunno 19. Nicknames: Loli 20. Relationship status: single and desperate for physical and emotional love 21. Zodiac: Taurus 22. Pronouns: She/her 23. Favorite TV show: GoT, Black mirror, Buffy

24. Tattoos: I got my first a couple of weeks ago!!! The female sign on the side of mah bellyyy 25. Right or Left Handed: right 26. Surgery: appendicitis removal 27. Sport: LOL 28. Vacation: Yes pls thank you 29: Favorite shoes: my trailrunners from alta

MORE GENERAL  1. Eating: Love it. Especially things with butter, cream and sugar. 2. Drinking: too much beer this summer but that’s okay because i’ve had a wonderful time 3. I’m about to: sleep 4. I’m waiting for: sunday because then i am off work for the summer and my best friends are coming and we’re going to have the best week 5. Want: love. And some money would be nice. 6. Getting married: i mean i’d like too but at the same time i am kind of principally against the institution of marriage since it historically and to this day isn’t really beneficial for women

WHICH IS BETTER  Short or tall: all heights? Hugs or kisses: HUGS AND KISSES Lips or eyes: eyes Older or younger: older Nice arms or nice stomach: soft squishy bellies thnk you very much

Hookups or relationships: relationships (I SUCK at hookups)

Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: oh so many times Lost glasses/contacts: sunglasses like a thousand times Turned someone down: yup Sex on the first date: I’ve had sex with someone literally five minutes after we said hello soooo… yes. Broken someone’s heart: yes but just a little and then he broke mine after three years together Been arrested: nope Cried when someone died: i cry when i think of thinking of someone dying so yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Miracles: i mean crazy and amazing things happen so yes but maybe they’re just coincidences or something idk Love at first sight: instant attraction and/or connection yes, love- no Yourself: maybe 20 percent of the time Santa: no God: noo, i want to believe in something but find it hard to and God is not it Angels: no but i like to write about them Kiss on the first date: yes, preferably

OTHERS  Eye Color: green Favorite Movie: i can’t think of any movie right now lol time to go sleep

I tag @clemwasjustagirl because i want more puzzle pieces grrrl 😘

[kristinsimmons]

What’s inside my makeup bag (cruelty-free)

I recently did a poll on my Insta Stories to see if you would be interested in a “what’s inside my makeup bag” post, and 95% of you said “heck yes!!!”, so here it is! Putting this post together has also been a good way of filling the lack of recipe creation lately. I’m currently on an elimination diet to test for allergies (the worst!!) and basically can’t eat anything fun, so there hasn’t been much testing going on over here. It isn’t forever though! I keep telling myself that I will be a normal human being again someday, hah. But I’m soooo grateful that I’m already seeing improvements in my allergic reactions since cutting out the ingredients that my test found I’m sensitive to. I’ll keep you guys posted if you’re interested.

Read on for the deets on my current go-to makeup products. If you haven’t checked it out yet, be sure to read my Favourite Skin Care Products post too.

Lips:

I’m going to kick this off with my favourite category—lips!

HURRAW! Tinted Lip Balm

Shade: Black Cherry

Cruelty-free, vegan

This tinted balm is perfect for kicking around the house! I love the subtle hint of colour this black cherry hue adds.

  Tarteist Glossy Lip Paint

Shade: WCW

Cruelty-free, vegan (Note: Tarte is now owned by a parent company, KOSÉ, which is not cruelty-free.) :(

One of my fave lip gloss colours of all time. *heart eyes for berry tones* Biggest gripe? The tube is messy and lip gloss always explodes out the sides when I close it.

  Couleur Caramel Lip Gloss

Shade: 805 Raspberry Red

Cruelty-free, vegan

This is a close runner-up for my favourite gloss shade. I actually like this one’s ingredients and packaging better than Tarte’s (no explosions!).

  Kopari Coconut Lip Glossy

Cruelty-free, vegan

Ohhhhh yeah. You know I’m obsessed with this gloss. I talked about it in my Favourite Skin Care Products post too. I think of it as a 2-in-1 product because it’s a good lip moisturizer when you’re just lounging around the house (a little bit goes a long way), and it works as a fantastic “top coat” on top of lip colour to add a glossy sheen.

Foundation + concealer:

Physicians Formula Spotlight Illuminating Primer

Shade: Glow

Cruelty-free

This is a primer, but I use it on top of foundation as a highlighter on my cheekbones, temple area, and bridge of nose. I love how refreshed it makes my skin look even when I haven’t slept much. I tried it as a primer and wasn’t overly wowed, so I prefer to use it on top.

  Physicians Formula The Healthy Foundation with SPF 20

Shades: LN4 and MN4 (I mix the two shades in the summer)

Cruelty-free, vegan

Oh BOY have I tried out a lot of vegan foundations. So, so many misses. This one was good enough to keep using, so that’s progress! My biggest complaint is the packaging (it’s awful, quite frankly, because it’s hard to get the product out and I’m not a fan of the applicator stick). Their shade selection is also quite limited. I have to mix two shades in the summer to get my perfect match! I also wish the ingredients were more natural, so I guess you could say I’m still on the hunt for my holy grail vegan foundation! This one will definitely do in the meantime.

  Physicians Formula Concealer Twins Cream Concealers

Shade: Yellow/Light

Cruelty-free

I don’t use the yellow shade as I find it’s too noticeable on my skin tone, but I do use the light shade for around my eyes. I’m not sure if I’ll repurchase this concealer as it’s super light and doesn’t cover that much. I also wish they had more shades!

Blush + brush:

Benecos Natural Powder Blush

Shade: Sassy Salmon

Cruelty-free

I don’t normally go for such a bold blush shade, but I fell in love with this one! It really pops off my cheeks and a little bit goes a long way. It’s my new go-to.

  Tarte Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush

Shade: Paaarty

Cruelty-free

This blush was sent to me as a free sample from Sephora a year ago, and I used it until every last bit was gone! I’m not sure if I’ll repurchase because I’m loving the Benecos so much.

  Tarte Bronze & Glow Double-Ended Contour Brush

I love this double-ended brush. I use the small end for blush and the large end for translucent powder.

  You might be wondering…Ange, where is the bronzer? The contour powder?! Lol. I don’t use them because anytime I have tried to apply them I turn out looking like I have dirt on my face. So I just kind of gave up! But this tempting 50% off sale at Sephora is making me want to try the Tartiest PRO Glow Highlighter & Contour Palette!

Eyebrows:

My brows have always been light and pretty much nonexistent (thank you to my dad for those genes!), so if I want to feel put together, I will ALWAYS do my brows. I first use the Benecos pencil to fill in patchy areas, and then I use the Tarte mousse with the bamboo angle brush (which is included!!) to bring it all together. Really love this combo for my brows! So easy, long-lasting, and doesn’t smudge.

Benecos Natural Beauty Eyebrow-Designer

Shade: Blonde

Cruelty-free, vegan

  Tarte Amazonian Clay Waterproof Brow Mousse

Shade: Ash Blonde

Cruelty-free, vegan

Eyeshadow + eyeliner:

Physicians Formula Shimmer Strips Custom Eye Enhancing Eyeliner Trio

Shade: Warm Nude

Cruelty-free

I don’t use eyeliner everyday, but I always use it when I’m going out somewhere special, especially in the evening. I love this trio because it comes with black, brown, and bronze shades, which are the ones I normally gravitate toward.

  Physicians Formula Shimmer Strips All-In-1 Custom Nude Palette For Face & Eyes

Shade: Natural Nude

Cruelty-free

I love this all-in-1 palette because you can use it as a cheek bronzer, over your eyelids, or anywhere you want a pop of shimmer on your face!

Mascara + eyelash curler:

Pacifica Beauty Stellar Gaze Length & Strength Mascara

Shade: Supernova (black)

Cruelty-free, vegan

I’ve tried out a lot of vegan mascaras and this is my favourite “everyday” mascara that I’ve been using for a few years. It’s light and perfect for daytime, but you can layer it for a slightly more dramatic look too.

  My eyelash curler is by Sephora!

Powder + concealer:

Physicians Formula Mineral Wear Talc-free Mineral Face Powder

Shade: Translucent Light

Cruelty-free

I have to say, this isn’t my favourite setting powder by any means. In fact, I find it goes on too powdery and I wish it were more dewy, so I use a very light hand when applying it. In the past I would use powder all over my face thinking that I had to get rid of any and all shine, but lately I only use a bit on my nose and a tiny bit on my forehead. I find using less powder really lets my natural (and makeup-accentuated!) glow shine through.

  Physicians Formula Gentle Cover Concealer Stick, Light

Shade: Light

Cruelty-free

I use this occasionally if I need to cover a pimple. I think the shade is a bit too light for my skin tone though so I probably won’t repurchase.

PS: My black and gold makeup bag is from Shoppers Drug Mart!

Do you have any fave makeup products to share? Be sure to let us know in the comments below!

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What’s inside my makeup bag (cruelty-free) published first on https://wittooth.tumblr.com/

[gardencityvegans]

What’s inside my makeup bag (cruelty-free)

https://ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/crueltyfreemakeup-683x1024.jpg

I recently did a poll on my Insta Stories to see if you would be interested in a “what’s inside my makeup bag” post, and 95% of you said “heck yes!!!”, so here it is! Putting this post together has also been a good way of filling the lack of recipe creation lately. I’m currently on an elimination diet to test for allergies (the worst!!) and basically can’t eat anything fun, so there hasn’t been much testing going on over here. It isn’t forever though! I keep telling myself that I will be a normal human being again someday, hah. But I’m soooo grateful that I’m already seeing improvements in my allergic reactions since cutting out the ingredients that my test found I’m sensitive to. I’ll keep you guys posted if you’re interested.

Read on for the deets on my current go-to makeup products. If you haven’t checked it out yet, be sure to read my Favourite Skin Care Products post too.

Lips:

I’m going to kick this off with my favourite category—lips!

HURRAW! Tinted Lip Balm

Shade: Black Cherry

Cruelty-free, vegan

This tinted balm is perfect for kicking around the house! I love the subtle hint of colour this black cherry hue adds.

  Tarteist Glossy Lip Paint

Shade: WCW

Cruelty-free, vegan (Note: Tarte is now owned by a parent company, KOSÉ, which is not cruelty-free.) :(

One of my fave lip gloss colours of all time. *heart eyes for berry tones* Biggest gripe? The tube is messy and lip gloss always explodes out the sides when I close it.

  Couleur Caramel Lip Gloss

Shade: 805 Raspberry Red

Cruelty-free, vegan

This is a close runner-up for my favourite gloss shade. I actually like this one’s ingredients and packaging better than Tarte’s (no explosions!).

  Kopari Coconut Lip Glossy

Cruelty-free, vegan

Ohhhhh yeah. You know I’m obsessed with this gloss. I talked about it in my Favourite Skin Care Products post too. I think of it as a 2-in-1 product because it’s a good lip moisturizer when you’re just lounging around the house (a little bit goes a long way), and it works as a fantastic “top coat” on top of lip colour to add a glossy sheen.

Foundation + concealer:

Physicians Formula Spotlight Illuminating Primer

Shade: Glow

Cruelty-free

This is a primer, but I use it on top of foundation as a highlighter on my cheekbones, temple area, and bridge of nose. I love how refreshed it makes my skin look even when I haven’t slept much. I tried it as a primer and wasn’t overly wowed, so I prefer to use it on top.

  Physicians Formula The Healthy Foundation with SPF 20

Shades: LN4 and MN4 (I mix the two shades in the summer)

Cruelty-free, vegan

Oh BOY have I tried out a lot of vegan foundations. So, so many misses. This one was good enough to keep using, so that’s progress! My biggest complaint is the packaging (it’s awful, quite frankly, because it’s hard to get the product out and I’m not a fan of the applicator stick). Their shade selection is also quite limited. I have to mix two shades in the summer to get my perfect match! I also wish the ingredients were more natural, so I guess you could say I’m still on the hunt for my holy grail vegan foundation! This one will definitely do in the meantime.

  Physicians Formula Concealer Twins Cream Concealers

Shade: Yellow/Light

Cruelty-free

I don’t use the yellow shade as I find it’s too noticeable on my skin tone, but I do use the light shade for around my eyes. I’m not sure if I’ll repurchase this concealer as it’s super light and doesn’t cover that much. I also wish they had more shades!

Blush + brush:

Benecos Natural Powder Blush

Shade: Sassy Salmon

Cruelty-free

I don’t normally go for such a bold blush shade, but I fell in love with this one! It really pops off my cheeks and a little bit goes a long way. It’s my new go-to.

  Tarte Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush

Shade: Paaarty

Cruelty-free

This blush was sent to me as a free sample from Sephora a year ago, and I used it until every last bit was gone! I’m not sure if I’ll repurchase because I’m loving the Benecos so much.

  Tarte Bronze & Glow Double-Ended Contour Brush

I love this double-ended brush. I use the small end for blush and the large end for translucent powder.

  You might be wondering…Ange, where is the bronzer? The contour powder?! Lol. I don’t use them because anytime I have tried to apply them I turn out looking like I have dirt on my face. So I just kind of gave up! But this tempting 50% off sale at Sephora is making me want to try the Tartiest PRO Glow Highlighter & Contour Palette!

Eyebrows:

My brows have always been light and pretty much nonexistent (thank you to my dad for those genes!), so if I want to feel put together, I will ALWAYS do my brows. I first use the Benecos pencil to fill in patchy areas, and then I use the Tarte mousse with the bamboo angle brush (which is included!!) to bring it all together. Really love this combo for my brows! So easy, long-lasting, and doesn’t smudge.

Benecos Natural Beauty Eyebrow-Designer

Shade: Blonde

Cruelty-free, vegan

  Tarte Amazonian Clay Waterproof Brow Mousse

Shade: Ash Blonde

Cruelty-free, vegan

Eyeshadow + eyeliner:

Physicians Formula Shimmer Strips Custom Eye Enhancing Eyeliner Trio

Shade: Warm Nude

Cruelty-free

I don’t use eyeliner everyday, but I always use it when I’m going out somewhere special, especially in the evening. I love this trio because it comes with black, brown, and bronze shades, which are the ones I normally gravitate toward.

  Physicians Formula Shimmer Strips All-In-1 Custom Nude Palette For Face & Eyes

Shade: Natural Nude

Cruelty-free

I love this all-in-1 palette because you can use it as a cheek bronzer, over your eyelids, or anywhere you want a pop of shimmer on your face!

Mascara + eyelash curler:

Pacifica Beauty Stellar Gaze Length & Strength Mascara

Shade: Supernova (black)

Cruelty-free, vegan

I’ve tried out a lot of vegan mascaras and this is my favourite “everyday” mascara that I’ve been using for a few years. It’s light and perfect for daytime, but you can layer it for a slightly more dramatic look too.

  My eyelash curler is by Sephora!

Powder + concealer:

Physicians Formula Mineral Wear Talc-free Mineral Face Powder

Shade: Translucent Light

Cruelty-free

I have to say, this isn’t my favourite setting powder by any means. In fact, I find it goes on too powdery and I wish it were more dewy, so I use a very light hand when applying it. In the past I would use powder all over my face thinking that I had to get rid of any and all shine, but lately I only use a bit on my nose and a tiny bit on my forehead. I find using less powder really lets my natural (and makeup-accentuated!) glow shine through.

  Physicians Formula Gentle Cover Concealer Stick, Light

Shade: Light

Cruelty-free

I use this occasionally if I need to cover a pimple. I think the shade is a bit too light for my skin tone though so I probably won’t repurchase.

PS: My black and gold makeup bag is from Shoppers Drug Mart!

Do you have any fave makeup products to share? Be sure to let us know in the comments below!

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© copyright 2018 Oh She Glows. All Rights Reserved.

[Read More ...] https://ohsheglows.com/2018/07/27/whats-inside-my-makeup-bag-cruelty-free/

[kbbeautyblog]

Kylie Cosmetics have a range of Lip Kit’s and Matte Liquid Lipstick’s and today, I am going to be swatching 23 shades in the range and reviewing the liquid lipstick’s and lip pencils!!!

I am going to go through and swatch + compare the shades, and then under that I will talk about/review them!!

PHOTO GALLERY!!!

Click picture for full-sized view!!

Candy K is a Matte Warm Pink Nude Shade

Candy K Swatches

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KoKo K is a Matte Pale Pink Shade

KoKo K Swatches

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Posie K is a Matte Cool Toned Berry Shade

Posie K Swatches

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Exposed is a Matte Warm Mid-Toned Nude Shade

Exposed Swatches

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Dirty Peach is a Matte Mid Toned Yellow Peach Shade

Dirty Peach Swatches

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Dolce K is a Matte Deep Nude Beige Shade

Dolce K Swatches

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Maliboo is a Matte Light Brown Cool Nude Shade

Maliboo Swatches

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Love Bite is a Matte Rich Plum Brown Shade

Love Bite Swatches

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Kristen is a Matte Warm Brown Berry Shade

Kristen Swatches

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Mary Jo K is a Matte True Blue Red Shade

Mary Jo K Swatches

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Spice is a Matte Deepened Raspberry Plum Shade

Spice Swatches

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Kourt K is a Matte Deep Plum Shade

Kourt K Swatches

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Khlo$ is a Matte Orange Nude Shade

Khlo$ Swatches

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Ginger is a Matte Warm Terracotta Brown Shade

Ginger Swatches

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Okurrr is a Matte Raspberry Red Shade

Okurrr Swatches

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Bunny is a Matte Cool Mid-Toned Mauve Shade

Bunny Swatch

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Doll is a Matte Bright Tangerine Shade

Doll Swatches

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Baby Girl is a Matte Warm Muted Coral Shade

Baby Girl Swatch

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Smile is a Matte Light Pink Shade

Smile Swatches

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June Bug is a Matte Bright Pastel Purple Shade

June Bug Swatches

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Valentine is a Matte Hot Pink Shade

Valentine Swatches

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Twenty is a Matte Mid-Toned Rose Brown Shade

Twenty Swatches

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Gorg is a Matte Deep Red Plum Shade

Gorg Swatches

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Kylie Cosmetics Matte Liquid Lipstick Swatches

Kylie Cosmetics Matte Liquid Lipstick Swatches

Kylie Cosmetics Matte Liquid Lipstick Swatches

SWATCH PHOTO GALLERY!!

Click photo for full-sized image!

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OVERALL SHADE RANKING COMPARISONS

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The Kylie Cosmetics Lip Liners come with each Matte Lip Kit, and some shades can be purchased alone. The liners have an extremely thick, creamy consistency and unlike traditional lip liners that have a really rough, chalky consistency, the Kylie Lip Liners have soft, sharp, creamy tips that spread across the skin with minimal effort. I prefer lip liners like these wayyyy more than traditional ones because they don’t pull on the skin when you are applying them.

The Kylie Lip Liners have extremely high colour pay-off, and are fully opaque. I have some issues with the pencils though, and no matter how many I purchase, I run into this same very problem.

The liners get blunt very fast, and they do this extremely weird thing. Once you have worn the pencil down for the first time and it’s time to sharpen, when you put it in the sharpener, the actual product in the pencil becomes loose. This is the exact same problem I had again and again and still have with the ColourPop Lip Liners. The company that owns ColourPop owns and produces Kylie Cosmetics, which isn’t a problem, but their pencils are the exact same and do the same thing. I should mention that this is the same issue I had with the Kylie Cosmetics Eye Pencil, which I did note in my full post on the eye pencil.

What I mean by the product in the pencil becomes loose is that when you tilt it upside down, it will fall straight out. You can sharpen it, and the tip sharpens up extremely well and the pencil is very useable, but there will always be the bit of looseness in the pencil. I manage to get by with using them because they do sharpen well, but I am always very conscious of how loose it feels in the pencil. It’s also like the pencil get’s pushed back into the tube because when the pencil is blunt, and I tilt it up, the tip protrudes and you see more product, but when you turn the pencil up the right way, it goes back down.

All in all, the pencils are extremely pigmented, creamy and spread well on the lips, but it’s not hard to know that the quality is quite low. This isn’t a massive issue because the pencil does sharpen well,, but the design is very cheap and I wish the quality was a bit higher.

The Kylie Cosmetics Liquid Lipstick’s are matte, fully transfer-proof, drying liquid lipstick’s that come in multiple shades. The matte liquid lipstick’s can be purchased as singles, or can be purchased in a lip kit that comes with a liquid lipstick and a matching lip liner in the same shade. Each liquid lipstick contains 3.25 ml – 0.11 fluid ounces of product, has a shelf life of 12 months and is made in the USA.

The consistency of the Kylie Matte Liquid Lipstick’s is a thin liquid that has some creaminess to it but I would deffo class it as more liquid in consistency than creamy. The formula is relatively lightweight on the lips, especially when you compare it to thicker formula’s like the Huda Beauty Liquid Matte Lipstick’s.

The formula of all of the shades in the liquid matte range is consistent, meaning that they all perform the same except for slight differences that are a result of the different pigment ingredients that are added on top of the base formula to produce the specific color/tone of the lipstick. What I have noticed with the Kylie Matte’s is that the lighter and brighter shades tend to apply really well and are not streaky, but the dark, deep purple and brown shades tend to be extremely streaky and hard to apply.  For example, the shade Kourt K and Gorg are extremely patchy, streaky and hard to apply, but other deep shades such as Mary Jo K and Love Bite apply perfectly. I would put this down to the fact that Mary Jo K and Love Bite are brighter than Kourt K and Gorg, and deep purple shades tend to be hard to perfect, and Kylie certainly hasn’t perfected them. Other than that, all of the shades apply evenly and easy to the lips, and as I said, work the exact same as one another.

In terms of comfort and dryness, there is no comfort and a whole lottttt of dryness. The Kylie Matte’s dry extremely quickly (as in, while you are in the middle of applying). I have timed myself applying them numerous times and they always dry within 15 seconds, sometimes when I am right in the middle of filling in my upper lip. This means that you have to work quickly when you are applying the lipstick’s because they do not layer or build up very well  because they are soooo drying and when you do layer them, they go crumbly very quickly.

My advice is to dip back into the liquid lipstick after you finish filling in the bottom lip (or whatever one you do first), because the formula dries so quickly and when you try and use the product that is on the applicator tip to fill in both the top and bottom lip, it can start to drag as the product dries, even when there is clearly product still on the wand. The applicator that comes in the matte liquid lipstick’s is a nice medium-sized doe-foot applicator with a narrow, domed tip. The applicator works really well with the product and disperses it evenly and with high color payoff. The applicator tip isn’t too big or too small, and you could certainly get away with using the tip as a lip liner and skipping liner. The Kylie Matte’s have a long lasting power, stay on the lips for hours without budging and are fully transfer-proof.

As I said, the comfort level of the Kylie Liquid Matte’s on the lips is zero to none pretty much, and they are hands down one of the most dry, matte formula’s I have ever tried (and I have tried a lot of liquid matte’s). The formula dries sooo fast, so as you can imagine, if it feels extremely uncomfortable on the lips after 15 seconds, it feels absolutely horrible after 15 and worse after an hour. After a few hours, all liquid lipstick’s will go dry, crumbly and flakey, but the Kylie Matte’s are on a whole other level and really are very, very drying. All liquid lipstick’s feel horrible after a few hours, so I wasn’t surprised that the Kylie Matte’s did the same thing, but if you are someone who can’t stand dry liquid lipstick’s, you will want to stay FAR away from the Kylie Matte’s. Conversely, if you are someone who doesn’t care about comfort and wants a fully transfer-proof, matte liquid lipstick, you will love these.

The shade range of the Kylie Matte’s is soooo extensive, and she releases new, limited edition shades, as well as permanent shades, on a frequent basis. I think having such an extensive and large shade range is good because it means that everyone will be able to find a shade that suits them and matches up with their preferences.

All in all, the Kylie Cosmetics Liquid Matte Lipstick’s are transfer-proof, fully matte lipstick’s that stay on the lips for hours on end. The formula is consistent across the range and each shade performs the same, except for the dark, deep shades which tend to be streaky, hard to work with and not flattering on the lips. The majority of the liquid lipstick’s work extremely well however, and they are easy to apply to the lips. The matte’s are extremely drying and very uncomfortable, but all liquid lipstick’s are, even though the Kylie’s Matte’s are significantly more dry than some other, fully matte formula’s.

KYLIE SWATCH PHOTO GALLERY!!

Click picture for full sized view

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What is your favourite Kylie Cosmetics Matte Liquid Lipstick?? Do you like the formula/do you want to try it?? Let me know in the comments below babes!!!

Kylie Cosmetics Online Site Link

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My Beauty/Makeup Favourites September 2017

Fenty Beauty Killawatt Highlighter in Trophy Wife Review + Swatches

Beauty News End of September/Start of October 2017

Huda Beauty Desert Dusk Palette First Impressions + Swatches

MAC Cosmetics X Nicki Minaj Lipsticks in Pinkprint & Nicki’s Nude Review + Swatches

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Kylie Lip Kit’s- Matte Liquid Lipsticks + Lip Liners- Review + Swatches (x23 Shades) Kylie Cosmetics have a range of Lip Kit's and Matte Liquid Lipstick's and today, I am going to be swatching…

[kristinsimmons]

What’s inside my makeup bag (cruelty-free)

I recently did a poll on my Insta Stories to see if you would be interested in a “what’s inside my makeup bag” post, and 95% of you said “heck yes!!!”, so here it is! Putting this post together has also been a good way of filling the lack of recipe creation lately. I’m currently on an elimination diet to test for allergies (the worst!!) and basically can’t eat anything fun, so there hasn’t been much testing going on over here. It isn’t forever though! I keep telling myself that I will be a normal human being again someday, hah. But I’m soooo grateful that I’m already seeing improvements in my allergic reactions since cutting out the ingredients that my test found I’m sensitive to. I’ll keep you guys posted if you’re interested.

Read on for the deets on my current go-to makeup products. If you haven’t checked it out yet, be sure to read my Favourite Skin Care Products post too.

Lips:

I’m going to kick this off with my favourite category—lips!

HURRAW! Tinted Lip Balm

Shade: Black Cherry

Cruelty-free, vegan

This tinted balm is perfect for kicking around the house! I love the subtle hint of colour this black cherry hue adds.

  Tarteist Glossy Lip Paint

Shade: WCW

Cruelty-free, vegan (Note: Tarte is now owned by a parent company, KOSÉ, which is not cruelty-free.) :(

One of my fave lip gloss colours of all time. *heart eyes for berry tones* Biggest gripe? The tube is messy and lip gloss always explodes out the sides when I close it.

  Couleur Caramel Lip Gloss

Shade: 805 Raspberry Red

Cruelty-free, vegan

This is a close runner-up for my favourite gloss shade. I actually like this one’s ingredients and packaging better than Tarte’s (no explosions!).

  Kopari Coconut Lip Glossy

Cruelty-free, vegan

Ohhhhh yeah. You know I’m obsessed with this gloss. I talked about it in my Favourite Skin Care Products post too. I think of it as a 2-in-1 product because it’s a good lip moisturizer when you’re just lounging around the house (a little bit goes a long way), and it works as a fantastic “top coat” on top of lip colour to add a glossy sheen.

Foundation + concealer:

Physicians Formula Spotlight Illuminating Primer

Shade: Glow

Cruelty-free

This is a primer, but I use it on top of foundation as a highlighter on my cheekbones, temple area, and bridge of nose. I love how refreshed it makes my skin look even when I haven’t slept much. I tried it as a primer and wasn’t overly wowed, so I prefer to use it on top.

  Physicians Formula The Healthy Foundation with SPF 20

Shades: LN4 and MN4 (I mix the two shades in the summer)

Cruelty-free, vegan

Oh BOY have I tried out a lot of vegan foundations. So, so many misses. This one was good enough to keep using, so that’s progress! My biggest complaint is the packaging (it’s awful, quite frankly, because it’s hard to get the product out and I’m not a fan of the applicator stick). Their shade selection is also quite limited. I have to mix two shades in the summer to get my perfect match! I also wish the ingredients were more natural, so I guess you could say I’m still on the hunt for my holy grail vegan foundation! This one will definitely do in the meantime.

  Physicians Formula Concealer Twins Cream Concealers

Shade: Yellow/Light

Cruelty-free

I don’t use the yellow shade as I find it’s too noticeable on my skin tone, but I do use the light shade for around my eyes. I’m not sure if I’ll repurchase this concealer as it’s super light and doesn’t cover that much. I also wish they had more shades!

Blush + brush:

Benecos Natural Powder Blush

Shade: Sassy Salmon

Cruelty-free

I don’t normally go for such a bold blush shade, but I fell in love with this one! It really pops off my cheeks and a little bit goes a long way. It’s my new go-to.

  Tarte Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush

Shade: Paaarty

Cruelty-free

This blush was sent to me as a free sample from Sephora a year ago, and I used it until every last bit was gone! I’m not sure if I’ll repurchase because I’m loving the Benecos so much.

  Tarte Bronze & Glow Double-Ended Contour Brush

I love this double-ended brush. I use the small end for blush and the large end for translucent powder.

  You might be wondering…Ange, where is the bronzer? The contour powder?! Lol. I don’t use them because anytime I have tried to apply them I turn out looking like I have dirt on my face. So I just kind of gave up! But this tempting 50% off sale at Sephora is making me want to try the Tartiest PRO Glow Highlighter & Contour Palette!

Eyebrows:

My brows have always been light and pretty much nonexistent (thank you to my dad for those genes!), so if I want to feel put together, I will ALWAYS do my brows. I first use the Benecos pencil to fill in patchy areas, and then I use the Tarte mousse with the bamboo angle brush (which is included!!) to bring it all together. Really love this combo for my brows! So easy, long-lasting, and doesn’t smudge.

Benecos Natural Beauty Eyebrow-Designer

Shade: Blonde

Cruelty-free, vegan

  Tarte Amazonian Clay Waterproof Brow Mousse

Shade: Ash Blonde

Cruelty-free, vegan

Eyeshadow + eyeliner:

Physicians Formula Shimmer Strips Custom Eye Enhancing Eyeliner Trio

Shade: Warm Nude

Cruelty-free

I don’t use eyeliner everyday, but I always use it when I’m going out somewhere special, especially in the evening. I love this trio because it comes with black, brown, and bronze shades, which are the ones I normally gravitate toward.

  Physicians Formula Shimmer Strips All-In-1 Custom Nude Palette For Face & Eyes

Shade: Natural Nude

Cruelty-free

I love this all-in-1 palette because you can use it as a cheek bronzer, over your eyelids, or anywhere you want a pop of shimmer on your face!

Mascara + eyelash curler:

Pacifica Beauty Stellar Gaze Length & Strength Mascara

Shade: Supernova (black)

Cruelty-free, vegan

I’ve tried out a lot of vegan mascaras and this is my favourite “everyday” mascara that I’ve been using for a few years. It’s light and perfect for daytime, but you can layer it for a slightly more dramatic look too.

  My eyelash curler is by Sephora!

Powder + concealer:

Physicians Formula Mineral Wear Talc-free Mineral Face Powder

Shade: Translucent Light

Cruelty-free

I have to say, this isn’t my favourite setting powder by any means. In fact, I find it goes on too powdery and I wish it were more dewy, so I use a very light hand when applying it. In the past I would use powder all over my face thinking that I had to get rid of any and all shine, but lately I only use a bit on my nose and a tiny bit on my forehead. I find using less powder really lets my natural (and makeup-accentuated!) glow shine through.

  Physicians Formula Gentle Cover Concealer Stick, Light

Shade: Light

Cruelty-free

I use this occasionally if I need to cover a pimple. I think the shade is a bit too light for my skin tone though so I probably won’t repurchase.

PS: My black and gold makeup bag is from Shoppers Drug Mart!

Do you have any fave makeup products to share? Be sure to let us know in the comments below!

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