#also is this a safe space for me to finally admit that i actually don't care for most of the cream soda choreo. it does have its moments

[dmumt]

who do you think owned cream soda era

hard to believe there were really any winners during cream soda era but okay let me try answer this. i just rewatched the stages for research purposes heavy breathing how has it already been (but also only been) 2 months....

it's difficult to say considering the "era" was a week tops + the fact that the styles varied so much with different members standing out in each concept . BUT i'd be lying to myself if i didn't admit it's kyungsoo for me 😪 what can i say my eyes are always drawn to him during the performances (although that could just be from the gravitational pull of his boobs...) he kinda made the choreo his bitch idk i think his dancing style suited the song really well like he hit every beat (for the most part) but him not having the intensity set to 110% + his constant unreadable expression + his post-military post-lasik gymbro confidence (+ probably the genuine happiness from promoting as a group again) made him look effortless he had that shit down!! there's a specific moment in the relay dance (at 2:22 if the time-specific link isn't working) that really does it for me.

styling-wise xiubaek consistently came out on top for obvious eyeshadow and babygirlism reasons . but i also think mr jongdae fought against the short styling straw he's always forcibly given and actually put up a good fight (not enough for a win but he came close #teammatteo) . i personally really liked his leathery/plastic blazer + leather pants look.

it's just a shame that we didn't get to see much other than what we had already seen in the teasers. no wait we actually saw less than that because we didn't get the colourful outfits.... sigh remember when exo promo days were long enough to get interesting and well-thought-out group styling on stage yeah me neither

going a bit off topic here but side note: no one owned those fuckass suits they wore for inkigayo (apart from mayyybe shoomy his outfit was the best given that he could actually raise his arms in it but calling it good would be a stretch)... horrible decision to put them in restrictive and boring suits for the final live performance of such a complex dance. you can see them having to fight against their outfits throughout the whole song it's so distracting idk how that got approved as a good idea but fuck it what do i know. i didn't particularly like the suit teaser photos either they felt lacklustre in comparison to the others but i guess that's not important because that last set of teasers was always going to be overshadowed by the funky colourful sprite advert photos.

also just have to say that had kim kai not been apprehended my answer probably would have looked very different 💔

tl;dr: kyungsoo.

[rhiannonsknife]

heyyy first of all, i just needed to say that your writing is soooo fucking good like i was genuinely impressed when you said that english isn't your first language because I can't imagine how this could get any better. Also, it isn’t only about the way you write but also the way you just get each character perfectly. That's just... woah, just woah. So yeah, I hope you keep on writing for a long time for the sake of everyone's happiness lol

And lastly, you remembered us about how you also write for the rest of the yellowjackets, not that I don't enjoy the whole "let's give love to all ella purnell's characters" thing going on here buuuut i remembered one scenario has been in my mind for a while and I'd love if you wrote about it.

Shauna, after losing so much to the wilderness, carries this relentless, overwhelming anger that keeps most of the other girls at a distance. Even those who aren't outright scared of her still know better than to get too close. She obviously needs love and comfort, but god help anyone who tries to say that to her. And then r decides to take a shot, carefully inching closer without setting her off. Slowly but surely, r makes progress. First, just being allowed in Shauna's space, then a hand on her shoulder, brushing her hand, maybe even touching her hair. When Shauna finally lets her guard down, r sees just how touch-starved she really is, how deeply she needs someone to just be there, to be her person.

Shauna and r start disappearing for hours, slipping off to somewhere, maybe the airplane, where r can pepper her face with kisses, making her feel safe. And Shauna just lets herself melt in those moments, holding r close.

my mind just goes ogdofgkditwukymg w her

── ౿🪵 NO ONE COULD SAVE ME BUT YOU

— summary: shauna shipman needs a hug. that’s it. that’s the summary.

— warnings: hurt/comfort. canon typical dark themes. implied cannibalism (duh). child loss. etc. so: angst. some fluff. did not beta-read this. + i had no clue how to start or end this fic.

— a/n: woah thank you so so much!! i genuinely appreciate that <3 i’m not planning on stopping any time soon! anyway, i hope you like how this turned out!!

out here, she’s lost everything. you all know it, though none of you dares to actually talk about it. it doesn’t come as much of a surprise that she’s beginning to lose herself too. it’s concerning all the same.

shauna still gets her chores done, so it is not like you don’t have her support in this poorly built system, this attempt to keep things under control when -really- all last restraints of control were lost the morning you’d found jackie’s body, buried in the snow, and with all that came after that. the things no one ever speaks about.

perhaps that is why none of the girls have approached her yet: as long as she does what she’s supposed to do, why would anyone try and cross her, or potentially upset her? after what she’s done to lottie, it’s no surprise. sometimes, in moments during which you find yourself staring at her hands for reasons beyond you, you can see the flash of a scar, standing out against the thin skin of her knuckles.

maybe they’re scared of her. or scared of what she’s become, out here. it doesn’t make a difference. maybe you should all be scared of what you’ve become.

either way, it’s not fair. you obviously know that she needs the same comfort some of the other girls have found in each other, whether shauna wants to admit it or not.

so you -with nothing better to do for the most part- make it your mission to be this comfort for her.

at first, shauna gives you short, cold responses when you try to make small talk, but you keep at it. there’s nowhere to go anyway, nowhere she could flee to get away from your slightly awkward attempts to just talk. it’s a first step.

gradually, you notice her replies get a little longer, her posture softens, just slightly, and she doesn’t seem so quick to brush you off. a small sign, but it means you’re beginning to earn her trust. you don’t talk, not always. sometimes, you’ll just linger nearby and watch her prepare the last remaining pieces of meat or sit in the same room as she scribbles in the journal she’s brought from home.

sitting with shauna in silence becomes its own form of closeness; she doesn’t say much, but she lets you be near her. you can’t remember, now that you think about it, when she was last hugged. when she last felt the touch of another person. your heart aches at this realization. could it have been jackie? it already feels like a whole lifetime ago, that she'd been among the group.

over time, she actually starts letting you sit close enough that your legs touch. you hope it’s her way of saying that maybe she doesn’t mind your presence as much as she lets on.

one day, after a particularly hard night, you take a chance and rest a hand on shauna’s shoulder. you’ve noticed, even from a distance, that she doesn’t sleep well. truthfully, no one out here does. but, with your makeshift mattress closest to the spot she’s preoccupied in the farthest corner of the room, you often notice the way she flinches in her sleep, or shoots up in the middle of the night, panting heavily.

when you notice it that night, you slip out of the more or less comfortable ‘warmth’ of your blankets and make your way over to her.

she tenses, but for a moment, she doesn’t pull away. her silence feels like a monumental moment, a sign that she’s slowly starting to let her walls down. you sit like this, hidden by the darkness of the cabin and with none of the others awake, for a long moment. neither of you moves, neither of you even dares to breathe, afraid it’ll pass by as fast as it has come. then, she shrugs away from your grip and mutters: “i’m fine”. she’s not, obviously. but you take it as a small victory. you’ve felt the way she relaxed under your hold, the way she didn’t immediately push you away.

as weeks pass, you notice shauna becoming less and less guarded in your presence. she’s still wary, still sharp, but you can sense the small shifts, a quiet murmur here, a shared look there, that suggest she’s warming up to having you close.

maybe that night is what’s to blame, or maybe she’s genuinely beginning to realize how much she craves the warmth of another person. your warmth.

it’s one of these days where she’s angrily scribbling down words into her journal when shauna reaches a first ‘breaking point’. she’s sitting beside you in silence, the weight of the wilderness and the day pressing down on both of you. the only noise is the angry scrape of her pencil against paper. in a rare moment of boldness, you reach out, brushing a strand of her hair back from her face.

you’re not sure why you do it. but shauna seems so far away from everything, so detached from the reality you live in, that you just want to offer her something grounding.

her first reaction is to freeze, her eyes widening with a flicker of surprise, and you nearly pull your hand away, wondering if you’ve overstepped. but instead, shauna lets out a breath and holds still, allowing you to tuck the strand behind her ear. as your fingers brush her cheek, you can feel her breath catch, her defenses lowering just a little. it’s a brief, fragile moment, but one that feels much bigger to you: an unspoken acknowledgment that maybe, just maybe, she’ll allow more of this.

that’s when things begin to change: shauna starts looking for you after difficult moments, lingering by your side in ways that tell you she needs someone, even if she won’t say it; too stubborn to ever admit it out loud. she lets you take her hand quietly, her thumb rubbing yours a wordless promise that, just for a while, she’ll let you be her safe place.

it becomes routine for you and shauna to disappear to some quiet spot when the cabin feels too heavy. no one has figured you out yet, although you’re sure that they can put two and two together by now: tai has caught your eye, the last time you sneaked off together and lottie has long claimed that the wilderness has its fucked up ways of communicating with her. whether any of it is true or not, something about the glances she shoots in your direction tells you that she knows. that she might even appreciate it, though that could just be because she won’t be the outlet for shauna’s anger anymore.

after a particularly tense exchange with the others, she brushes past you, muttering, “let’s go.” you follow her immediately, of course, and the two of you wind through the forest until you reach the plane’s wreckage. inside, it’s silent and dim, a place that’s somehow managed to become a safe haven. the last reminder of civilization, somewhere far far away from you.

shauna lets herself lean back against the metal frame, shoulders dropping in relief, her usual guarded expression softening as you sit close beside her.

she doesn’t say anything, but her hand finds yours, squeezing it tightly, as if she’s grounding herself in your presence. then, in a rare show of vulnerability, she leans her head on your shoulder, her eyes closing as she lets out a shaky sigh. you wrap an arm around her, pull her closer, and let her melt into you, feeling her tension slowly give way as she buries her face in the crook of your neck.

together, you stay like that for hours, just holding each other. shauna curls into your arms, letting herself fully relax in the quiet. you actually dare to cradle her head and press gentle kisses to her forehead, feeling her melt into your embrace, and trusting you in a way she hasn’t trusted anyone else in a long, long time.

“you’re…you’re way too soft for this place, you know that?” you hear her whispering. she doesn’t stop you, though.

when it’s time to return, shauna doesn’t say a word but gives you a look that says it all: gratitude, trust, and something almost like relief.

even when you’re not together, shauna’s glances toward you become longer, her eyes lingering with something that remains unspoken, as if she’s trying to understand this newfound feeling.

around the others, she is still hesitant to be openly affectionate. in the cabin, it is only late at night, when it’s just the two of you, that she lets herself fall into your arms. It’s the only time she allows herself to be unguarded, clinging to you silently as if afraid you’ll vanish too if she lets go.

that same night, you catch a quiet confession under her ragged breath. she’s facing the other way, letting you spoon her from behind. only this way, does she dare to open up about how everything seems to slip away from her. she’s scared but hides it behind anger and frustration. you’re the first person allowed to see her tears.

you can’t even begin to imagine what she’s going through. all the things she’s been robbed of: girlhood, like all of you. even if you’re ever rescued (which seems less likely with every day that passes) how are you supposed to move on? how are you supposed to live, like none of this ever happened? her best friend, who no one dares to talk about anymore, afraid it’ll bring back the things you’ve done. it’s like she was never here at all which, you think, must be even worse. motherhood, too, though she never even wanted it. no one seems to acknowledge that, out of everyone out here, she might just be the one to have lost everything to the wilderness.

in an attempt to comfort her, you trace mindless shapes against the back of her hand, slowly soothing her back to sleep. the letters of her name, a loopy S, gliding across her scarred knuckles with a tenderness so contrary to everything these hands have done. your own name, next. you hear a gentle chuckle coming from shauna. she knows what you’re doing, of course. you don’t stop.

the outline of wiskayok, as you remember from the map. she doesn’t seem to recognize this one, a little crease between her brows. “home” you tell her quietly and the crease vanishes.

it feels surreal that, somewhere out there, home is still a place. that wiskayok still exists to the people, to your families, your classmates, and everyone else back there. that it’s more than just a fading memory.

“you suck at drawing” she finally manages. it’s the first time you can hear the glimpse of amusement in her voice.

“what? you think you’re any better?” you whisper quietly, wanting it to last.

shauna shifts beside you, and takes your hand with a gentleness you didn’t think she possessed still.

now it’s your turn to lay back and feel. she starts with words. “yellowjackets” she spells out. a small smile flashes over your features as shauna studies your face attentively. then, though it’s harder to make out, she traces the word: “champions”. your heart feels heavy with everything that could’ve been.

shapes are next: a tiny heart, resembling the shape of jackie's necklace, then a simple circle.

"that's a soccer ball" she whispers expertly. for the first time, you laugh. it only lasts a short moment before you remember where you are, and that the others are trying to sleep just a couple of meters from you.

you fall asleep with her hand in your own, as both of your eyes grow too tired and you drift off together.

other nights, when she’s fast asleep and -for once- doesn’t seem haunted by nightmares, you find yourself watching over her. it’s the only time you get to see her the way she’d once been: when her features aren’t tense or pained, but relaxed. when she’s the girl you met at the very first soccer practice years ago, who hasn’t known any of the things that’ll happen to her in this lifetime. you stay up all night, only realizing how much time has passed when light starts spilling into the cabin and she stirs up.

you know shauna hates being pitied. so while you do feel for her, instead of asking if she’s okay, you just stay close, offering your warmth and presence. when shauna’s frustration bubbles over, she lets herself scream or cry in your arms, knowing you won’t turn her away. you hold her tightly all through the waves of emotions, murmuring quiet reassurances, and she clings to you, even as she struggles to accept that someone genuinely cares.

“everyone else… they don’t understand. they couldn’t. but you-“ she murmurs softly. “you’re the only one who sees me. the only one who wants to.”

shauna begins to show subtle signs of protectiveness over you, too: always looking out for you and offering the little comforts she can manage. even though her gestures are often quieter than yours, and less obvious, she's found her own way of showing she’s come to care for you, and that she’s willing to fight for you as much as you’re willing to be there for her out there!! <3

[bloodgulchblog]

John doesn't give a shit about himself, that's one of the most important core character traits of this dude. But he does give a shit about his impact on other people.

The UNSC, at a devastatingly young age, gave him convenient boxes to sort the world into and taught him "this is ENEMY you shoot ENEMY" and that has had predictably fucked up violent consequences for people who were very much, in fact, people. But they were in the ENEMY box so he didn't process it that way.

If you break open John's faith in the UNSC and its justifications, if you finally get through to him, if you get him to have to admit to himself fully that it was bad and the core of the machine eats people whole and it's not just a few shady officers, if you get him to admit that the UNSC's first purpose was never saving humanity from the Covenant and that it only managed that due to a fucking miracle, it's pulling the whole house of cards down and forcing him to confront his entire life story. The longer you look at it, the more there is to see. There is a lot of what John has done that was defense of the entire human species against an alien empire bent on wiping them out, yes, but John was also originally trained for and has been used as a weapon of Earth's imperial power within its sphere. John has killed other human beings for the sake of Earth's control over its colonies. Halo mostly likes to cherrypick the innie moments it gives us to make them unambiguous cartoon villains when it wants to show you the Spartans as heroic, but we know they're not always bombing space ports. You have way too many ordinary characters who are reasonable people with deeply understandable experience-driven motives for not trusting Earth and the UNSC.

Even John himself has questioned whether it would be easy for him to kill like that again if called upon after the Covenant war, we know he has this in him.

Forcing John to confront that one of his most core beliefs, "by following my orders and accepting what was done to me, I am protecting innocent people from deadly harm," is not actually true would break him down on the same level as what happened to Thel 'Vadam learning that the Covenant and everything he'd fought for was a lie.

But John has a whole lot less to hold onto and recenter himself on than Thel did. Thel, when you strip him of the Covenant, still had his home and his clan and his people, and his belief in honor.

John has three other Spartan-IIs, a vague haze of acquaintances that worry about him but don't understand him, and the fear of what it means if he's not actually safe for other people now that all the sharp edges of all the things he believed are breaking free.

[rafyki]

Goth! Nico/ Surfer! Percy AU Part 8!

Hi, sorry for the wait!! I was a little in doubt about if making this chapter in Percy's or Nico's POV, tbh, but in the end I decided that we're back to Percy! I always enjoy writing him being all smitten and in love <33

Enjoy~

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

You can also read it on AO3!!

~~~~

Percy had been looking at his phone for what felt like hours, staring at the empty message box and the name written on top, trying to find something, anything, to write that wouldn't sound extremely lame.

He knew his friends were looking at him, probably thinking he was the most ridiculous lovesick fool they had ever seen - which was fair, honestly, because Percy did feel like he was one second away from screaming into the void and starting to roll around on the cafe’s floor. 

So, yes, he was a lovesick fool - but a lovesick fool with his crush's number now safely saved into his phone.

Crush.

It had been two days since his meeting with Nico at the beach, and for the whole time Percy had felt like the word wasn't right, wasn't nearly heavy enough to embrace the way he felt. When he had told Annabeth, she had looked at him and smiled.

“I can see that, Percy, but you do realize you barely know him, don't you?”

It was true, of course it was - yet it didn't matter.

Percy could still feel the warmth of Nico's hand in his like it was engraved on his skin. The need to hold it again was almost overwhelming, Percy could feel himself going crazy for it.

They had held hands, and it had felt like Nico hadn't wanted to let go either, that he had wanted to make the contact last as long as possible just like Percy had.

Percy wanted to text him. But what do you even write to the guy who's been haunting your mind for the past few months and who you aren't exactly friends with but at the same time it feels like you're so much more?

“Hi, it's Percy, how are you?” 

Yeah, no, that was lame. 

“Hey, would you like to go on a date with me?”

Too forward, definitely not.

Percy groaned, frustrated.

“I swear to god, Jackson, if you don't stop staring at that phone right now, I'm gonna kick you out of this place”.

Thalia's voice pulled him violently out of his thoughts.

“This is a public space, Thalia, you can't kick me out”, he replied without even looking at her.

“Oh yeah, watch me”.

Percy only looked up at her when a kick did actually hit his legs under the table.

“Ehi!”

Thalia smirked down at him. “Told ya”, she said. “I can't believe I only come here like two times a year - and when I do, you're too busy to look at your phone to actually talk to me? That's low, Jackson”.

Percy rolled his eyes, but the pull in his guts let him know that he did feel guilty. He sighed and finally put his phone down, straightening himself and going back to sip his coffee. Not that he would apologize to Thalia, but he could admit to himself that she was right; and after all, if he put aside for a moment his current concern, he really was happy to see her. It had been months since the last time they had the chance to hang out together like this.

“Don't mind him, Thalia”, Annabeth jumped in. “He just got his dream boy's number! And now he's trying to figure out what to write to him”.

She said it like it was ridiculous, but Percy remembered how happy she had been for him when he had told her about the events of two days ago, so he didn't take it to heart.

“His what!?”, Thalia almost screamed, accompanying every word with a painful slap on Percy's shoulder. “Why don't I know anything about this! How could you guys not tell me, come on!”

He swatted her hand away. “Ouch, ow, ow, okay, alright!”

“I can't believe this! I can't even remember the last time you had a crush”.

“Yeah, well”, Percy said, and lowered his eyes. “Doesn't really feel like a crush, anymore”. 

“Oh woah, then it must be serious”, she said. “Come on, tell me everything”.

And so he told her - told her about the first time he saw the pretty goth boy working at the beach kiosk, about how long he had spent just looking at him. Trying to leave out the most embarrassing parts was no use because of course Annabeth had to jump in to point out how ridiculous he had been the whole time and how much he had panicked to just go and talk to him to buy something, and obviously she couldn't leave out his plan to impress Nico with his fantastic surfing moves.

“Annabeth, stop making me look like a loser!”

“I'm not making you look like a loser, Seaweed brain, I’m just telling the truth!”.

Percy kept talking, and he kept thinking about Nico, and he knew that he had the most enamored smile painted on his lips as he spoke. He talked and he couldn't stop because, god, he did love to talk about him.

They had only seen each other the previous day and Percy missed him already. He definitely needed to find the courage to text him - perhaps he didn't need to think too much about it, maybe a simple hey how are you would do, after all.

He wondered if Nico was doing the same, looking at his phone and trying to find something to write to him, or maybe waiting and hoping for a text to arrive.

He was so focused on recounting everything that he didn't notice the way Thalia's expression went from curious to surprised, then to confused, and finally to pensive.

“Wait, what did you say this guy's name is?”

Percy stopped in his rambling. “Nico, his name’s Nico”, he said, and finally noticed how Thalia seemed to be deep in thought. “What’s that face?”

It took a moment for her to reply. “Nico as in… Nico Di Angelo?”

Percy stopped and looked at her like she had grown a second head. “What?”

Next to him, he heard Annabeth’s voice echoing the same sentiment.

“What are you talking about?”

“Goth boy, shortie, long hair and lots of piercings, doesn’t seem like he own anything but black clothes, looks like he doesn’t know how to smile-”

“Hey, I’ll let you know that he has the prettiest smile you could ever imagine!”

Thalia waved him off at the same time that Annabeth said “Yes that does sound exactly like him”.

“And he works at the beach kiosk with a blond guy?”

A long moment of silence passed during which Percy kept staring at Thalia as her words kept swarming around in his head, blinking at her trying to process what she had just said. 

It couldn’t be, could it?

“You know him!?”

Percy could feel his heart run around in his chest, pumping blood loudly in his ears.

That felt so much like fate. 

“Huh, kind of?”, Thalia said. “I saw him a couple of times when I went to visit my brother”.

“Your brother?”, Annabeth asked.

Thalia nodded, smiling. “The blond guy working at the kiosk. That’s my brother, Jason”.

Another moment of silence passed before Percy finally came to his senses. “What the hell, why didn’t you tell us!”

This time, it was his turn to swat Thalia’s arm over and over. She hit back with just as much strength.

“Ow, why would I tell you! I didn’t even know you guys went to that beach - see, your fault you don’t tell me anything!”

Percy could feel Annabeth rolling her eyes at their antics.

But he had more pressing things to think about. He couldn’t believe it- really? 

It was so stupid, feeling giddy for something like this, but Percy couldn’t help the smile that rose to his lips. They were connected.

You’re so ridiculous, Percy Jackson, so ridiculous, he told himself, as his heart danced in his chest.

“Nico Di Angelo”, he murmured to himself. 

He knew his friends were looking at him ready to laugh at him. He looked at Annabeth. “See? I told you he must be an angel!”

They did laugh at him at that, and Percy felt so light he joined them. 

“You really are so ridiculous, Seaweed Brain”.

“Hey, can’t a man be a little in love?”

They stopped in their laughter to stare at him, and it took Percy a moment to realize what he had said. He felt himself blush - he hadn’t even admitted it to himself yet, yet the words had felt way too natural on his tongue, leaving his lips without him even thinking about it.

“Percy….”

“I know”, he cut her off, looking away. For some reason, his hand felt warm. “I know, I don’t know him all that well and it’s too soon. But… that’s why I said a little”.

“So you like him for real, huh?”. Thalia asked. The look in her eyes was earnest in a way that Percy wasn’t very used to. He and Thalia had been friends for a long time now, but it wasn’t often that they ended up talking seriously to each other.

Percy nodded. He really didn’t think he had ever liked anyone like he liked Nico before.

“Now, I don’t know him too well”, Thalia said. “But Jason told me once that it took him a pretty long time to get close to him ‘cause Nico isn’t an easy person - so, from what I know and from what you told me, I can say that you are an exception to this rule”.

Percy’s heart was running miles.

He thought about Nico so easily talking to him, smiling at him, thought of him asking about him out of worry, of him taking his hand and getting in the ocean with him despite his fear of it.

“I can ask Jason about him, if you want. But”, Thalia continued, pointing a finger at him. “You better text him - today”.

~~

When he went home that evening, the phone felt heavy in his head.

He would see Nico tomorrow anyway, he didn’t have to text him, he could easily wait until he could talk to him face to face. Or he could simply wait until tomorro’s evening and see if Nico would be at the beach after his shift again. He could.

It didn’t feel like the right thing to do. It felt like the coward way out, the one that wouldn’t lead to anything more.

And so, before he could think too much about it, he pressed send.

Me: Ehi, Nico! You have the afternoon shift tomorrow, right? Let’s hang out at the beach again after it?

[lemmeurs]

okay. here is my 1600+ words essay on raphael. if anyone would like to adress anything from it, please do but keep it civil! i am so damn invested in this topic, i wanna hear everyone's thoughts

raphael rant

(DISCLAIMER: this essay was not written in order to justify Raphael as a character or any of his actions or intentions. i am completely skipping any point of morality, whether my own or just in general, i simply wanted to somehow try and write my feelings and thoughts down while looking at the whole thing from an objective point of view, analyzing the design of the game, the plotline and his whole persona and just.. idk i wanted to see whether anyone else felt the way i do because i have been going INSANE over this for the past few days)

hi. i have come here today to express my thoughts and feelings on Raphael the cambion and "his final act". this is being randomly and spontaneously written in my notes app so please excuse the absolute chaos that this essay will be (no i won't be rereading it, fuck it we ball) (CONTAINS BG3 ACT III SPOILERS!!)

first of all — i am so beyond devastated that he gets killed. and not just by anyone, he gets killed BY US. THE PLAYER. WE AS THE PLAYER DELIVER THE FINAL BLOW THAT ENDS HIS EXISTENCE. not only is that very upsetting (because come on, hot devil man, obviously i don't wanna kill him??) but it also makes me feel so.. awful. like, everything about this is wrong and i hate the fact that there is no other option.

because let's review the course of the story in the house of hope:

- we barge into his house unannounced, uninvited, while he is absent

- we invade his privacy by entering what's his own personal space (yes, i know he stole it from Hope in the first place but that is not the point here — whatever his devil business is, it's still HIS, you know?? like he is a devil, this is the kinda stuff they do and honestly? i didn't want to stick my nose into it. but obviously i did because tHe sToRy etc etc. but still, it was his own thing that basically doesn't affect the player in any way so TECHNICALLY you dont have to free Hope. you can, if your character's moral compass advises so, but it doesn't affect the main plot.)

- we then proceed to walk around his house freely, lie to his archivist in order to look at the stuff we're already planning to steal

- we meet his personal incubus whom then we have the chance to either use or kill (i fought Haarlep so that's the point of view i'm looking from at this here, in which case i also robbed their corpse) and we rob his safe. and his whole bedroom actually. we read his journals. we use his bath.

- then obviously we go and rob his entire archive which includes all of his most precious possessions

- upon stealing, we slaughter every single creature in his house, fighting our way through to get to Hope's prison

- we then kill the two spectators he has guarding her (they were probably super hard to obtain??) and we just. free his prisoner. because yeah, that is the right thing to do, IM NOT SAYING THAT'S WRONG, but let's say we skip morality for a second, let's just focus on the fact that we have no ulterior motives in freeing Hope. we just wanna mess with HIS business because why not since we're already ruining all of his plans.

- and then we have the audacity to try to leave before he comes back and act like we were never there while his entire house is turned to shit.

now let's look at this list again but this time keep in mind the fact that at that point, he hasn't done A SINGLE THING to us. like, he has never harmed us, he treated us with (let's call it) "respect" and politeness, he was fine with our hesitation towards his deal and was willing to give us time. he was never aggressive towards us, he was never "the enemy".

and now you can say - okay wtf is wrong with you, that man literally admitted his intention of conquering the worlds, enslaving all mortals and basically becoming the tyrant of all while also most likely stealing everyone's souls for his own pleasure.

yes, he did, and yes, that's bad. but just because those were his intentions does not give us the right to do all that shit to him AND THEN KILL HIM. AS IF WE HAD THE RIGHT TO SERVE JUSTICE HERE?? YEAH HIS PLANS ARE EVIL BUT IT IS NOT UP TO US TO DICTATE HIS CONSEQUENCES. HIS PLANS WOULD ONLY SUCCEED IF WE GAVE HIM THE CROWN IN THE END, SO JUST- DON'T?? LIKE DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN. IM NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS OR INTENTIONS, BY ALL MEANS. i'm just trying to express how weird this all made me feel because not everyone decides to play as the selfless, lawfully good hero of all, protecting the world from all evil, ever! this is roleplay, afterall!

and them obviously he comes home. he is furious, as he should be. but mostly he's betrayed because, as weird as it may be, he trusted us. he admitted to growing "quite fond of us, in his own way". he thought we were some weird sort of.. acquaintances? friends maybe? (again, i know most of our relationship with him is mostly just him manipulating us but still, it's quite clear he wasn't expecting this betrayal) and we just barged in there and disrespected him in the worst way possible. so obviously he wants to kill us now and obviously we can kill him since he's just a boss in a game. and that's what we do. and then.. that's it. we're the good guys. we ruined a man's whole career because we needed one of his toys, murdered him in his own house and just left. and we're supposed to be the good guys.

i think the source of my problem is that Raphael is never introduced as evil. we don't meet him as the big bad villain that we know we'll have to kill at some point. i swear to god, at the beginning of act 3 i trusted that man way more than i trusted the Emperor and i was so close to agreeing to his deal just because i felt like i could trust him and he would keep me safe (for some reason, let's blame it on those wonderful eyes of his).

we meet him so early on in the game and he follows through all 3 acts, making it feel like he's gonna be some key character that will matter in the end - turns out, no! we were just supposed to rob and kill him. and that's literally it. talk about wasted potential.

when i first met him i got the "unofficial narrator" vibes from him, as if he was only supposed to seem intimidating and "evil" but you could sense there was so much more to him and i was dying to see how his story would unwrap. i was so ready for a redemption act, a plot twist, anything. man was i disappointed. because how cool would it be if he turned out to be a part of the "gather your allies" quest?? imagine having him as an ally and an ACTUAL friend in the end??

and don't even GET ME STARTED on what the orb in Helsik's shop shows you after you kill him. the fact that he's not even dead yet but ABOUT TO BE DEVOURED BY MEPHISTOPHELES. ABOUT TO BE DEVOURED. BY HIS FATHER. HE. WHAT. THATS THE ENDING HE GETS. and we are the ones that served it to him when he got RIGHTFULLY pissed at us for doing all that shit to him. and im supposed to just be fine with it?? i'm supposed to feel like this was the ending he deserved and i did the right thing??

god what i would give for a different way. idk. striking a new deal with him. saving him from Mephistopheles afterwards. REDEMPTION ARC?? ANYTHING?? NO? THATS IT THEN?

now i know that you dont HAVE to kill him, you can either agree to his deal or just ignore him and the house of hope altogether. but that just defeats the whole purpose of this character?? agreeing to his deal and giving him the crown at the end results in a pretty bad ending and ignoring him means that yeah, you don't have to kill him but you also don't get anything else from him anymore. like he has no other endings, just either death or his big evil plans. and for a game with so many choices and so much branching, it just feels almost weird that that's all he is there for. then why do we meet him in act 1? why does he follow through to act 2? (yeah, astarion, i know, but i cant help but feel like they could have put a completely different way to read his runes there if they didnt want Raphael specifically to help us) WHY ARE WE ALREADY SO USED TO HIM BY THE TIME HE PRESENTS HIS DEAL? if the whole hammer business is the only thing he's in the game for, then we may have as well been introduced to him only in act 3 during the whole Voss quest. but we knew him already and he felt like some sort of a.. friend lets call it? idk. this just does not make sense to me and makes me genuinely so sad.

as i'm writing this, it's the third day after ive completed the house of hope and i literally can not think about anything else. like my mind is just going on and on about this and i cant get over it!! im actually GRIEVING a fictional devil and i dont know what to do with all these.. thoughts.

so now i actually genuinely MISS THAT MF. I MISS HIM. GIVE HIM BACK. I WASN'T DONE AND NEITHER WAS HE. PLEASE PLEASE LARIAN I CAN FIX HIM—

okay i think thats it for now. idk i wrote this so chaotically i already forgot what i said and didnt say. im just. im feeling so many things. im so fucking sad and mad that this is how it ends. rest in peace hot devil man i will never forget you.

[un1k1tty-m0rn1ngstar]

i actually fucking DONT want to talk about the new hb episode. i might break down.

for one i HATE STELLA AND HER INCESTUOUS FUCKING BROTHER.

i cried a lot during this episode actually. just blitz being so ready to fight for himself, but when millie, moxxie, and loona were also being threatened to be hurt or killed? he sacraficed himself fully. he didn't want to see some of the only people in his life that he cared about (other than stolas. we are not there yet.) be hurt, so he blamed it all on himself, cause he knew what he did and didn't want anybody else but him to be hurt.

satan's kind of a baddie actually and i think it was funny that he had that little dude (idk what to call him) that calmed him down it made me giggle through everything else

AND THEN STOLAS. JUST GETTING UP AND RISKING NOT JUST HIS TITLE BUT HIS LIFE FOR BLITZ??????????? even after the apology tour, it's fucking CLEAR AS SHIT he still cares for blitz. even after blitz hurt him. he wanted blitz safe, cause he knows deep down that he loves blitz. i was like hOLY SHIT when stolas full on toom the blame

that song was FIRE THOUGH OH MY GOD

stolas knowing he was in the wrong for giving blitz the book, but blitz finally admitting- while maybe not fully out loud- that he needs stolas, how he cant bear to be without him.

and then satan ofc

AND THEN BLITZ TRYING SO HARD TO GET BACK INTO THE 'COURT' BECAUSE HE FUCKING NEEDS STOLAS OMFG

and yet another example of how ready stolas was to give up life for blitz

AND HE GAVE UP HIS TITLE??????????? he didn't end up liking it in the long run, but STILL???????????

i also still hate stellas brother. idk if he has a name or if it's been said and i've just forgotten, but i don't want to fucking learn it bro i hate him

and blitz taking such good care of stolas because he loves him, but also giving him space cause he knows he needs it

AND LOONA HELPING BECAUSE SHE KNOWS HER DAD LOVES THIS FUVCKING GAY ASS BIRD AUGH

and loona CALLING HIM DAD. we've never really seen loona care for blitz like that before this ep :(

and everybody cheering for blitz. he was so happy but like not.

AUGH TOO MANY FUCKING FEELINGS ABOUYT THIS EP

there's probably more but for now, i'm done :3 hope you enjoyed my rant or whatev T^T

(ALSO tadc ep 4 trailer? new layze video? friday was a great day for homosexuals and neurodivergents across the board)

[radfemsiren]

I identified as a trans man for close to 5 years when I was a teenager as an attempt to escape from all the hardships a woman has to face. I had the largest amount of support from my friends, online communities, and felt like I finally knew who I was. That was until I snapped back into reality and reclaimed my female identity, this caused those people to drop me and I honestly couldn't be happier. They mocked me for going back and said I only socially transitioned for "oppression points".. hello? As if women aren't oppressed? Anyway, I feel like the online space isn't a safe space for young women because instead of giving us support, we are given "solutions". This is also another reason why I support not allowing teens to have access to puberty blockers, testosterone, etc. because, no, we don't always know ourselves especially as vulnerable teenagers. I could've very easily gotten them and messed up my hormones for good.

Thanks for sharing your story! ❤️ I really wish there was better support for detrans women. So many people, esp the trans community, treats them like a joke or a threat. Esp that girl that made a PSA about how hormones made her start balding, the trans community mocked and degraded her for weeks, even though she wasn’t angry or didn’t say anything against them. They also made conspiracy theories about how she was a conservative plant, it was disgusting! And now the detrans tag is just full of porn, not actual support…

What you said about getting support really made me think, and it reminds me of when so many girls admit they loved having a teen pregnancy because it was the first time in their life they got unconditional love, praise, and affection...

If only we as a society gave this love to young girls as the standard, then they wouldn’t resort to altering their bodies… they can feel comfortable in their natural state. That won’t happen until society stops hating/sexualizing/dismissing the teenage girl and her experiences.

[queermania]

Ok so I have a real question not trying to start discourse or any thing. If Dean knew how he felt about Cas slash knew he liked men why was he always so weird about gay people. I can see a reading where Dean knew how he felt about Cas but not one where he knew he was bi

this is totally a fair question and i don't think there's any one True reading or interpretation of the show/characters so it really just depends on what version of events resonates the most with you. the way the picture makes the most sense to me is that dean is a guy who was raised in the 80s-90s in a hyper-masculine environment with zero stability. i think all of those puzzle pieces slotted into place in his brain in a way that said "sex with men is okay, feelings are not." a furtive hookup with a dude in a seedy bar bathroom is fine. going on a date with a guy is prohibited.

and the thing is that this is kind of true for dean when it comes to women as well. a one night stand is a-okay. falling in love and settling down is not. so, you take that sort of mentality and then apply all the homophobia of growing up in the eighties and the nineties and a life lived out of a car bouncing between truck stops and, well, you get a dean who is absolutely flabbergasted when confronted with the fact that not only are you allowed to want something romantic with a man, you're allowed to say it out loud to other people. you're allowed to have it.

dean wasn't weird about gay people, necessarily. he was weird about people who were able to just be themselves. he didn't know that was an option. also, i don't know about y'all but as a queer person who doesn't necessarily read as queer at a glance, i too get Very Awkward when confronted with another queer person in the wild and it's not because i'm homophobic. it's because oh! new friend! must send telepathic signals that me queer too! my behavior around other queer people in queer spaces does not match my behavior around other queer people in random public spaces. i'm embarrassing and i see that part of myself in dean lol.

and dean being weird about other people making comments about his perceived queerness, to me, is a very normal reaction for a closeted person (or even someone who is selectively and/or quietly out). you can be perfectly at peace with who you are and still not want to be clocked. like???? homophobia is not a thing of the past. dean grew up during the AIDS crisis. he was, what? nineteen years old when matthew sheppard was killed? his reactions to people insinuating he might be anything even close to queer make perfect sense for someone his age, living the life that he did.

also, like, here's the thing: i realized i was queer when i was about eleven and i freaked out about it for about a day and then promptly suppressed the whole thing because of a deeply traumatizing childhood. being queer was the least of my worries and there was never any time to unpack it and deal with it so i just didn't. and then when i was about nineteen i started to have queer sexual/romantic relationships but continued to suppress the fact that EYE was in fact queer because, again, i didn't really have the space to unpack it. it wasn't until i was about twenty-three and surrounded by other queer people (in a platonic way) that i finally felt safe to fully admit to myself and to other people that i was in fact queer. and then i never really did a whole coming out thing. i just... lived my life openly as a queer person and let other people figure it out.

my point in all this is that i feel like my general experience/trajectory lines up really well with how i view dean's. he had a very traumatic upbringing so while he knew he was attracted to men, he had no time or space to deal with it. that didn't stop him from having sex with men, but he never really unpacked what it actually meant. it wasn't until he was older and had openly queer friends that he felt safe enough to fully acknowledge that part of himself. and then.. that was it. he just lived his life as a queer man. like, i feel like we actually watched that happen over the course of the show???

most importantly, i cannot handle any reading where everyone else knows dean is queer but dean does not know himself. i especially loathe the idea that sam Knows and has to explain dean's own sexuality to himself. that is so ugly. dean is a very self-aware person. you could even argue he is perhaps too self-aware at times.

anyway, this is all obviously just a watsonian explanation of dean's relationship to his queerness. it doesn't even touch on the doylist stuff but that's a whole can of worms i'm not really interested in opening on tumblr dot edu right now.

so, yeah. that's my personal reading.

[uniquecellest]

I found out apparently DreamWorks made a whole ass other scene/script for Adam/Shiro in the flashback where they're best friends and have been flight partners for four years

And while that sucks just imagine with me two scenarios:

1) Adam still dies and Shiro remembers more of his time with Adam because he never got to tell his best friend how he actually felt despite everyone around them (Keith included) saying that the feelings were mutual but they never got together. Shiro possibly wishing that Adam would ask for Shiro to stay for him. Adam dying thinking his best friend and love of his life is dead. Back in their shared space, Shiro finds a journal and in it are multiple love letters/confessions from Adam to Shiro throughout the years. The second to last one was either pre/post Kerberos with Adam wondering if he's too late to confess, would Shiro stay if he asked? But how could he ask that of his best friend? The last one being just hours prior to Adam being sent out with the other MFE's and Adam admitting that he still loves Shiro after hearing that Shiro is still alive but having the feeling that their last interaction prior to Kerberos was their last one and he wishes Shiro all the happiness in the world.

2) Adam doesn't die. He and Shiro reunite with Keith teasing them bc he's a little brother of course he's going to tease his big brother and his brother's crush. The two talk and get together but keeping it on the down low until after the battle. After all, neither knows if either or both will survive this and they don't want any pity looks if one of them doesn't survive. Shiro is safe in the Atlas, he survives. No one knows about Adam for hours after the final strike, Shiro is worried and only Keith is keeping him sane. Shortly after sundown James, Ryan, Ina and/or Nadia comes in with news of a survivor just miles outside of the Garrison that the rest of the aforementioned found and are bringing back to base. Adam.

Shiro rushes to the infirmary where Hunk, Allura, Lance, and Pidge are wondering why Shiro is jumpy with Keith and Matt remaining calm knowing well that if they freak it only make Shiro worse. Matt makes a comment about Shiro being worried for his boyfriend (Matt's known them for a while and introduced Keith to the idea of tormenting them both with teasing with Matt teasing Adam more bc Keith took Shiro). The others look at Matt for clarification, he gives Adam's name which Pidge freaks put about bc Adam was her favorite teacher and her advisor - also Adam knew who Pidge was and called her Katie when it was just them - and she never knew that Adam knew Shiro or her brother.

Adam is allowed one to two guests at a time and everyone looks at Shiro. Shiro is the only one that goes in and remains all night. The next morning the two go and meet the others at breakfast (Adam discharged), their hands clasped together behind their backs. While the others are still unaware that Adam and Shiro are a thing Matt starts saying *how the biggest flirt from their time at the Garrison has met his match. Which confuses including Keith so Matt goes on about how Shiro was a completely different person during their time as cadets at the Garrison.

*I've seen some people say that Shiro was a lot like Lance when he was younger (I don't know if that's something that was said by the creators or a strong fanon but I love it either way) and I love that so much. I just imagine that it stuns Keith for a minute like he cannot look at Shiro without imagining him saying one of Lance's pick-up lines.

[magnusbae]

tfw u have a Complicated™️ Relationship With An Otherworldly Creature

First of all, I would like to point out that I DID NOT REALIZE WE HAD THAT DISCUSSION ON APRIL FOOL'S DAY.

All I remember is being delirious from lack of sleep and you indulging me by listening to my ravings about a Venom AU for dreamling aND THEN MAKING AN ACTUAL MEME FOR IT!!!

While I don't remember much of what we said that morning, and this meme being perfect for Canon AU also, I will focus my efforts on elaborating on this Venom AU no one had asked for but everybody will be getting!

◘ ◘ ◘ ◘ ◘ ◘

"It's not human, but it's given me things no girlfriend ever could."

Hob Gadling is by no means a man who lacks options. He had fucked, and he had fucked a lot. He dated, he had even married once. He did all there is to be done, from casual to serious and yet... nothing comes close to this, to this bond he shares, to this otherworldly creature living within him, sustaining him, enveloping him, devouring him.

"Beloved," Hob says, feeling the instantaneous warming of his chest. Dream, (That is his name.) (Oh, what a lovely name it is.) often responds in such a manner to terms of endearment. He enjoys them more than he would ever care to admit. All the more incentive for Hob to use them as frequently as humanly possible. Which is to say, a lot.

The low frequency rumbling inside of his chest cavity lets him know that Dream is very much aware and chooses to remain silent on the matter. He is so sweet, actually the sweetest creature in the entirety of existence. It's hard to remember a time when he had thought otherwise, a time in which he was actually terrified of the creature that had decided to use his body as a free-ride.

Yes? Dream finally speaks, tired of waiting for Hob to verbalize his thoughts. His voice is a deep thunder inside of Hob's mind, closer to a loud thought than an actual audible sound. An intrusive thought he would never wish to get rid of. Hob. Strict, impatient, amused. He feels like Dream cannot decide if he's more irritated or amused by Hob's wandering thoughts. Speak.

Hob huffs out a laughter, shaking his head and opening his fist in an invitation. The empty spaces between his fingers are soon filled with claw-like ink black fingers. Dream's hand, firm and strong.

"I was just thinking," Hob closes his hand, squeezing Dream's hand in his, feeling the tightening of Dream's hand in turn. "how it's our anniversary tonight" he closes his eyes, thinking of a year ago, miserable and lost and terrified, with nothing in this world left, running into an alien that by all means was supposed to devour him long ago.

Expect for the miraculous part of them being so perfectly matched that Dream decided to preserve him instead. Tend his body, strengthen it, keep it safe. The only price being that he also gets to live in it. See humanity, learn of it, understand it. It's what he told him, however Hob suspects, knows really, that it was something far more personal.

Dream had filled spaces Hob didn't even know he had. Voids so small you don't know them but you ache them. And if Hob does even a fraction of what Dream does to him— well then, there's the reason.

Yes. Dream rambles, pleased. Anniversary, like marriage. the last word is purred so quietly it's almost like it's Hob's own thought.

"Hold your horses," Hob laughs again, cheeks warming up, he's smiling wide enough to ache "I expect to get properly proposed to, who do you think I am? I ain't cheap, you know" he feels a hand brushing his hip bone, an intimate, possessive gesture that sets a shiver down his groin.

Yes, of course. Dream's finger trace's down the 'V' lines, claw gentle but ever present. Not cheap. Proposal. Indeed. Dream is amused again, the cheeky creature is making fun of him, and that, is damn hot.

Whatever response Hob was about to give is swallowed down with a yelp when Dream takes him into his hand. Hob breathes out, mind blanking as the decidedly inhuman hand starts working on him.

Conversations about propriety can wait. After all, this is so much more interesting. Whatever else you can say about dating a formless alien who resides inside of your body, there's undeniable benefits to them literally sharing your own pleasure. Makes for a very good partner indeed.

◘ ◘ ◘ ◘ ◘ ◘

Written in one go without editing because if I allow myself even a single more hour of thinking how it needs to be PERFECT I will die LMAO.

Brief explanation of Venom for those who didn't watch it! >> under the cut.

Generally speaking, I would imagine that Dream's initial reason was to study, understand, experience a different existence than his own. He had no regard for human life (still doesn't, not in the way a human would) he was perfectly fine with riding human bodies and living their lives until they expired.

Expect Dream had found Hob, a perfect match, a human body that accepted every single cell of him with open arms, way before Hob even realized he loved Dream, his body had already accepted him.

This can have over-complicated plot, and it could be a simply fun-little au. It can have a "fish-bowl" rescue of reported Hob breaking into the Lab where Dream was being experimented on, and it could be Hob's homeless era when on top of everything else going wrong with his life, he also gotten jumped by an alien symbiote in an alley.

It can be anything you wish to imagine, but bottom line is— imagine the intimacy, the bond, the tenderness of sharing a body with a creature that envelopes you whole, who loves you whole, who cares and wants you whole. Body and Soul and Mind, literally, figuratively, everything.

A bond so close you feel like a single being, bond so close you feel you would die if separated. Hob didn't even know he needed it. Hob thought his life was complete, even if shitty at times, he didn't feel any lackings, and yet..... when Dream came into his life, he realized it was an empty shell compared to what it is.

And Dream, who had never felt a connection, only felt rejection after rejection, and then in the case of the lab-trab, the experiments and cruelty. Being loved and accepted and wanted so fully he betrays his entire species to be with Hob.

-----

Essentially, Venom is one specimen of a symbiotic life form that finds a host and bonds with it. It's not easy to find a proper host, if the host is not right, the symbiote would slowly devour the body and eventually kill the human. In the comics canon, a human named Eddie and Venom form a bond, eventually fall in love, and share a very intimate relationship. It's a VERY half-assed explanation, but basically, the symbiote literally lives inside of the human host, and it makes for some......fun dynamics. considering it's a literal alien.

[precioustarkey]

valentine's day surprise

au where drew is not an actor, but a barista? and in college?

summary: college can be hard, so having a place to escape can be refreshing.

warnings: none

monday morning. arguably the most dreaded time of the week. it was exceptionally difficult to pull myself out of bed this morning. i felt especially comforted by the warmth of the blankets wrapped tightly around me. however, the sound of my alarm was enough for me to throw the comfort out of the window as i smacked my phone angrily. i pull myself up, rubbing my eyes in an attempt to regain my sense of consciousness. 

i glance at the time: 7:36. the light in my closet nearly blinds me as i grab around for anything warm. i make my way to the bathroom, throwing my clothes on the toilet seat. when the warm water from the shower finally hits me i feel instantly rejuvenated. i carry on with my routine, getting dressed, brushing my teeth, etc. my professor cancelled my class for today, but i figured i may as well stick to my usual schedule. 

planning on doing assignments for my other classes, i pack my bag with everything i may need. throwing it over my shoulder and grabbing my phone, i make my way to the only thing that could save my sanity: the coffee shop down the street. cliche i know, but it has always been a goal of mine to be one of those mysterious girls who alternate between coffee shops in the city. 

actually, my mysterious girl fantasy is still in the works considering that almost every barista knows me by my name. i can feel my anxiety in the pit of my stomach as i see all of the red and pink hearts in the windows of every store coming and going. i am not one of those people who despises valentine's day, but i do worry my safe space will be crowded with couples due to the nearing holiday. i enjoy my time there more when it is mostly empty. 

when i step in the door, i am relieved by the warm air hitting my cold hands and face. i am also relieved to see that the crowd is no bigger than normal. my eyes then darted to see who was working today, and i immediately reconized the familiar smile behind the counter. "good morning, y/n," he greeted me as i made my way closer. my grin never leaves my face as i reply, "good morning, drew."

drew starkey. we go to the same university, but we come from very different sides of campus. i spend my nights studying for exams, and drew spends his nights going to frat parties and playing basketball. as much as i hate to admit it, i have grown quite fond of drew since our small talk in the coffee shop began. "do you want your old usual or your new usual?" he teases. i recently changed my order, and he was not happy that i threw off our routine. "new usual, please," i laugh, watching him playfully roll his eyes as he begins preparing my order.

"i have to say i'm shocked you're here so early," i comment as i lean forward, resting on the counter with my wallet ready. he lets out a quiet chuckle. "you have my schedule memorized? i'm flattered." now it's my turn to roll my eyes. "only because i'm here almost every day." "if that helps you sleep better at night," he teases. 

purposefully ignoring his comment, i grab the coffee from his hand, pulling my card out of my wallet. "don't worry about it," he says as he wipes down the counter where he had just prepared my drink. "drew, i'm not letting you pay for my coffee," i insist, handing him the card anyway. "consider it a valentine surprise," he smiles. "well, thank you very much starkey, i'll have to make it up to you," i wink, turning around and making my way to my favorite table. 

my schoolwork takes up about an hour and a half of my time. this time was also spent feeling intense stares in my direction. it was not unusual for drew to be flirty with me. i assume he is that way with most girls he comes into contact with, but the level of concentration he has on me today is new. i am almost uncomfortable. not because i feel unsafe, but because i immediately wonder what i have done to make him so interested. 

in my confusion, i slowly begin to pack up my things, and prepare myself to go back to my apartment. once again, i throw my bag over my shoulder, grab my empty cup and a few loose pieces of paper, and toss them into the trash can nearby. i look over to drew and give him a farewell smile. 

“hey, y/n, wait a second,” he says over the new crowd of people. i turned around curiously. “take this.” he’s holding a card in his hand. “what is this?” i tease, grabbing the card. “open it when you get wherever you’re going,” he grins, going back to his spot to wait on a customer who had appeared. 

i slide the card into one of the pockets on my bag and step outside, greeted by the chilly air. my curiosity is getting the better of me on what feels like the longest walk back home. when i finally see the familiar building, i am almost running to get inside. 

my bag thuds against the ground as i land myself at my desk. the card is still poking out ever so slightly. the ‘card’ being a folded up piece of paper. i quickly opened it to see drew’s messy handwriting. my heartbeat was getting quicker as i read his words: “to make it up to me, you could let me take you somewhere nicer than a coffee shop for valentine’s day.” his number was scratched at the bottom. 

the smile never leaves my face as i read the card again and again. my phone next to me, patiently waiting for his number to be entered. i decide against texting him until later in the day because of his shift. my thoughts race with wonder–had i made him nervous? is that why we shared so many awkward glances? 

maybe a date with drew starkey isn’t such a bad idea.

this is my first post please cut me some slack

[kalcifers-blog]

SUNSPELL FIC !!!!

Hurt/Comfort :33!!! Enjoy!!!!

"What the hell were you thinking??"

Sunday's voice spoke, a tone just above a whisper, heavy with concern. Hearing them with such a tone pulled at Marvin's chest in a way that hurt more than the actual injury he sustained. The injury itself had bled out into the gauge Sunday was applying to it, a habit they always did before performing a healing spell.

'The spell never gets rid of the blood, it's always better to clean it first before you stain anything' Marvin thought- it was something an old tutor had told them some years ago now, Marvin couldn't even remember her name- but what she had taught them both stuck with them, Sunday especially it seemed.

Marvin didn't have an answer for Sunday. He just thought he could handle the thing that had appeared out of seemingly nowhere- at the time it seemed manageable. But the thing was smarter than it looked and ended up incapacitating Marvin far quicker than he expected.

'For all your skills Marvin, you just can't help but get blindsided by your own ambition.' Ramesses had once told him- he knew he was right. He always was. Marvin was just too proud to admit it.

"I'm sorry-"

It was the only thing Marvin could think of saying. It made Sunday pause, looking into Marvin's lime green eyes to see any hint of a mistruth. But there was none, just a look of genuine hurt and apology.

"I wasn't thinking- I thought I could handle it by myself-"

"clearly"

Sunday responded, they were trying to sound cold. But years of friendship made Marvin acutely aware of the hurt behind their words.

"Sunny I'm sorry I just- I didn't know what I was gonna face when I got there. I didn't want you getting hurt-"

Sunday cut him off-

"Marv I know- I know you want to protect me and I know you want to see me be safe, but I can handle myself, I know you're capable and strong on your own but you can't keep running into situations without knowing if you're going to get hurt or not-"

There was a pause as Sunday began the healing spell. The wound on Marvin's leg started to heal itself, it would've been an ugly sight to watch but the slivers of gold that was Sunday's magic made it somewhat bearable to watch.

Marvin hissed slightly as the healing spell took place. They always coincidentally felt the same when you got an alcohol wipe to clean a wound- not exactly painful but definitely not pleasant, a small minty burning feeling as the magic started healing the wound.

"Listen, I know you have things you need to do. And it's okay if you can't tell me what those are for whatever reason I just-"

Sunday paused, choosing their words delicately.

"Just let me know if you do. I can help you Marvin. I just- I love you too much to see you put yourself in danger like this. It makes me worry."

Marvin was about to respond before the words Sunday had spoken had fully set in- it seemed that Sunday had the same realisation of what they had just said wash over them.

"You- you said you-"

"I- Yeah, I did"

The two of them could only stare at each other. It was almost like they were both trying to work out a problem in each others minds.

"Is that okay?"

Sunday finally asked. Marvin felt his throat tie up into knots and he couldn't find the right thing to say. He just nodded and smiled shyly at the other. His hand brushed over Sundays hesitantly, Sunday interlocked their fingers and brushed their thumb over Marvin's knuckles.

It was so strange- over the years the pair had been attached at the hip, always holding hands or being in each other's physical spaces almost all the time without question. But now it feels foreign, in a good way but still foreign. There was no hiding behind what their true feelings where.

"Sunny-"

"Marv-"

They had both said at the same time, chuckling slightly as they did so.

"you go first"

Sunday said, Marvin nodded

"I am sorry. For what it's worth- the reason I didn't want you there wasn't because I don't want you to be there I just- I also- you know" Marvin took a breath, "I love you too. And I wasn't telling you because I also couldn't stand the thought of seeing you potentially getting hurt- I. I'm sorry, I was wrong"

Sunday's eyes grew just a little bit brighter at that, their fingers from their free hand gently brushing a stray hair strand out of Marvin's face. Their hand cupping on Marvin, the two of them continued to just stare. Sunday leaned in, kissing softly Marvin on their forehead. Then lightly keeping their foreheads pressed together. The man blushed at that, far more than he'd like to admit.

"I know just- just don't let it happen again. Promise?"

Sunday asked, still pressed against Marvin- their hand still cupping their cheek.

Marvin leaned in, kissing them lightly and hesitantly. The kiss could've only been a few seconds but if you had asked either of them in that moment they would've told you that they had kissed for eternity.

Marvin regrettably pulled back to look at Sunday in their eyes-

"I promise"

Almost simultaneously, the healing spell had finished. Marvin looked down, feeling the magic leave. The wound had been healed completely, leaving behind a sizable pale scar on his skin.

Marvin used it as an excuse to finally curl up next to Sunday. They left out a soft chuckle, Marvin just knew the slew of cat related jokes that were rocketing through the other's brain at that moment. But he found that he didn't mind, just enjoying the others company like he had so many times before. He buried his head into Sunday's shoulder curling up into them.

"Thank you Sunny, for everything"

[ravsbloodbunny]

WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by @sergeiravenov & @eccentrcks !! I'm aware it isn't that day but since I've been busy, I chose this day to post. I wanted to introduce yall to my OC, Sila Myrak (formerly) - Pre-Cold War / Sila Solovyova (currently by Ravenov) - during and Post-Cold War ! She's a treasured character whom I've had since Black Ops 2.

Tagging: @gayaethernaut @paradamaxima @wastelanderscola @alexxmason and anyone who would love to share, feel free! Loving all the pieces I've been seeing thus far!

Sila x Sergei (Post-Firebase Z - Sila arrived with Samantha from the Dark Aether)

⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"I must know why Samantha values you."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"What? You fear that I become a liability?"

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"We both know you might be. But there is no shame in that."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sila glared at Sergei from across the table. Her arms are crossed across her chest defensively. He raised a hand to speak his mind with permission. Sila gave a frustrated sigh. "I must know. Only I can keep you safe and... partially only because I promised Maxis. I will do my job to protect you. But Sila," he leaned forward on his elbows, trying to emit understanding. "I must know."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀She looks away, eyebrows frowning as she bites at her lower lip, "she's... my only friend. The only family."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Ravenov leans back quietly, gazing at Sila more of a curious look, with maybe, slight compassion.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"So holding high regards to one another. It's mutual, yes?"

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"Try living in the Dark Aether."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"No one comes back alive."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sila settles him with a steel gaze. "We did."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"You did. I admit that it baffles me. If Omega receive word of this, if they know I kept you here–"

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"I don't have any records. I don't exist."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"Which would be further means to extract more out of you."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"So," Sila leans forward, placing her foot down. "Help me. Let me make my stamp in this world."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀It's silence. The two just staring at one another, Ravenov having an unreadable expression and Sila with desperation.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"Then we train."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"When?" She asks as he gets up to stand in the hallway.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"Show me your close combat."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"What?"

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"Experience in close combat. Real person to person."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"Nul. I think."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀No words exchanged for a few moments, Sergei stood up, his head tilted.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"Don't break anything."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"No promises."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Making space in the little room that Ravenov could make enough for hand-to-hand combact, he witnessed how Sila's coordination was rather... lacking, as simply as he could say.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀For better detail, she swung her arms to latch onto his shoulders, or well... she tried to before Sergei intercepted with ease. There was a resounding strength in her arms, easily yanking them away from the Soviet's grip before trying again. Once again: intercepted with his hands gripping her wrists to restrain her and immobilize her arms.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sila noted the distance between them, something that triggered a strange, overwhelming feeling. It was largely negative - her mind resorting to the need to push him away and kick. But there was also noting zero hostility from the Russian himself.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"Never fought actual person, niet?"

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sila slowly shook her head. Her muscles relaxed and Sergei let her go.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"We put the undead aside then. Now. Follow my movements closely."

Sila's Audio (a series I'm thinking of making!)

1945

⠀

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Slightly static. An anguished cry as metal objects clanked to the floor, "𝘸-...𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?!" She rasped. Sila's labored breaths were heard, "what... did you do to me!?" Her bare body slumped to the cold surface of the floor. "Get away from me! 𝘿𝙤𝙣'𝙩–"

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀A door was heard swinging open before swinging back shut. "Now, now, liebling Calm down–"

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"Richtofen!" Sila spat out. "You 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙡! What did you do to me!?" Her voice wavered as she yelled.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"Bring her up to the table. Strap her in.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"𝘖𝘧𝘧! Off–! Hands off... 𝘮𝘦! 𝙉𝙤!" She was finally sat on the table, leathered straps holding her writhing body in place. All fell silent as she tried to regain her breath, but soon the sounds leaving her were akin to growls that resembled more to weakened whining.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"Hush now... oh... look at you. Look at what I 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥– uh uh! No biting. Don't make me lock your head too."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶." She snarled.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"Tsk tsk. You..." Richtofen started. "Are at 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘺 now. A successful experiment. One of my 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩 achievements and one that will ensure Maxis' failure in implementing 115 in... the right way. Oh! Look at 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡 you are!"

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"You... 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜..."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"Rest assured, Sila. You are my trophy. You are mine. I will parade you down the Reichstag if I must. Serving as a sole purpose to pushing the production of Element 115 further than Maxis ever foretold!"

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"You stole my only means of 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! I... I am 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 now..."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀"You... are 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 than so, Sila. Your former draconic body is now... 𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘵. It will be so long as this human body 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙨."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sila's breathless for a few moments. Richtofen could be heard giggling. Shouts followed, Sila's voice rising in incoherent curses of what her mind could come up with in English and German. "Sedate her."

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Her shouts began to die down, body fell limp.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Richtofen's low, taunting voice spoke, "exciting times head, Sila. Exciting times ahead. 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶, Maxis." A dramatic sigh. The tape cut.

⠀⠀

[themightymoose]

Unexpected Vinnie fluff mood took over me so have some happy, possibly tooth-rotting fluff headcanon for the little guy

he loves, loooves oversized clothes, and he especially loves wearing the clothes that belong to his partners/friends/or literally anyone else besides himself. Given how small he is, no matter who he's stealing borrowing from their clothes will be probaby oversized on him but even if they won't he's haooy too. Anyway, yes, clothes belonging to someone else, no matter who that is, is a great perk for him. He's just a little thief. Dw, he usually returns them

he's really, really ticklish everywhere and if he's getting tickled then not only is he really squirmy but his laughter is full of snorts, snickers, squeals, and everything in between. He also secretely really likes being tickled. Not that he'd admit that

he needs to really trust you to let you touch his hair. Look, this is the one part of his body he really, really cares about and makes sure it's in immaculate state, so he's not letting just anyone touch it. However, once he is comfortable with you he is more than happy to let you play with it, he loves it so much and will melt. And again, I hc him with rly long hair, so there's a lot to play with

not only does he not mind "rough treatment" when it comes to touching let's call it, but he absolutely loves it. He loves being manhandled, surprisingly picked up in any way, like you can literally lift him by his leg and throw him (I mean, onto something not too hard) and he's fine with it; pushed against the wall roughly for kisses or any other reason really, being tackled to the ground etc etc. In other words, no need to be gentle with him, like the first day you're lovers with him for example you can already make out with him just fine. I think the term for this is roughhousing but I'm not sure

he loves being squeezed, just in general. Preferably by other people so like in a hug, or just sitting between two people (like they don't need to fight over not wanting to sit in the middle seat in the car cause Vinnie's perfectly happy sitting there), or anything else like that. But things like weighted blankets are really good too. You know how Minka is afraid of compact spaces? Well, Vinnie is the opposite, he loves those cause he feels so safe in them. And squeezed :p

One problem though, it's not like he's open about any of those things really. Most of them are based on touch and well, he does not want to admit just how much touch he craves. He doesn't need anyone else. Not like that...

yesyesyes scrumptious headcanons just for me :D now please allow me to go over all of them individually

:)) I live for the trope of the clothes thief, it's quite frankly, a beautiful concept. I actually had this headcanon that Sunil would steal his friends' clothes, but I like the thought of Vinnie doing it better! Who knows? Maybe they team up to see who can steal the most clothes without getting caught. I just like the thought of Vinnie drowning in one of Russell's hoodies or Pepper's flannel wrapping over him like a burrito. I think the only reason Vinnie would return any of the clothes is because it doesn't smell like his friends anymore >:(

Ohhhh I like this one! I honestly have the same headcanon for Pepper (shocker I know) and I like to think the others team up against them when they're being little shits (which is literally all the time) like Sunil and Penny are holding them in place while Russell, Minka, and Zoe are tickling the ever living shit about them. They're both kicking their legs and squirming. And they're snorting and giggling. And the others just take a moment to admire them because holy shit how are they this fucking cute it's not fair-

Hell yeah with the hair touching. Vinnie literally spends about two hours every morning getting it just right, of course he won't let just anyone touch it, it doesn't look this perfect naturally dammit >:( it took his friends about two years after meeting him to finally get that privilege, his friends knew you would have to reach level 10 friendship with Vinnie before getting anywhere near his hair. But the first time Vinnie legitimately let them play with his hair they felt so honored

Yeah it's called roughhousing :) and yessss he just loves being tossed and pinned. Any touch is good touch in his eyes (whether good or bad) just imagining someone tossing him onto the bed and jumping on top of him. And then they make out :)

Haha yes squeeze the man >:) you know how in those headcanon posts I made and I said that you don't want to be trapped in a hug between Minka and Penny? Well that applies to everyone except Vinnie, he loves being hugged by those two at the same time. I'm imagining a scenario now where Minka and Vinnie get trapped somewhere like a closet or something and Minka is freaking the fuck out probably on the verge of tears (for traumatic reasons because of course) and Vinnie is just standing there like 🧍‍♂️ and Minka just goes "HOW ARE YOU NOT FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW???" And Vinnie just shrugs. (He helps her calm down though like a good friend)

Might be off topic but I imagine the first genuine hug that Vinnie and Pepper shared was probably the most awkward experience of both of their lives and they chose to forget it completely

[hollownoire]

Instead of ghosting people when I get nervous I really could just be forward with them. I really don't know why I feel like I can't just be honest. Yeah, I really just want to be comforted and spoken to. I can admit I'm a fragile person without fearing people will never interact simply because sometimes I just need a little affirming, which is just what you would already do with a friend. I've really built up this idea of like...proper...friendship, using experiences that were not so, and I'm only now really realizing that. Maybe I just need more friends. Maybe I don't talk to people enough, of course I get stupid anxious speaking with people, I don't have the practice. I haven't gotten used to the idea of normality, of not needing to conform to make someone like me, what I thought was an ideal was just...normal. The answer always doubles back to needing an olive branch from others, but the question is how do I ask? I want to say the answer is obvious, just ask, cause it is that simple, but just because it's simple doesn't mean it's easy. I want to be reminded to take care of myself more often. Just...cared for generally. I want to know someone wants to be my friend, even if it's some amount of effort. To know I'm in someone's thoughts, in absence of my presence, and to make those thoughts real and lived by reaching out to me and showing me I can be close to people again. That it doesn't need to be scary. That I'm not above having a group of friends that knows me, truly knows me, issues and all, and still loves me for it. I want my weirdness to be a part of my value, a part of my worth, as my life, as my daily, and finally feel safe in a space with people I don't have to worry about misinterpreting my distance for something else. To be close enough to someone that they know I just need a bit of love and kindness. Attention. That I'd talk with anyone for hours if they reached out to me, that I'd answer every and any question asked of me because I want to be known and heard. I've made an unapproachable monster of an image of myself in my head, one bereft of my gender, of my needs or wants or boundaries, and the only real way to show myself I'm not what I think I am is through repetition and living as the person I am and not who I fear myself to be. Skulking alone, reinforcing this idea of unapproachability and inability to bond with others or make lasting connections just makes a feedback loop of...garbage! No wonder I'm only really now feeling like a girl 5 years into my transition, I don't talk to people enough to hear my pronouns be used often. Hear my name. Just be treated like a sweet girl, I don't know. Really want my needs being met to be normal, and be something that people want to do because I matter to them. When people make note of something, and go out of their way to remember it, I notice. I also notice when people say they'll do something for me and they don't. Imagine my surprise when someone both notices me and casually gives me something I desperately need. A small, innocent, everyday suggestion. A stranger tells me to keep making art, saying please, even. "Please keep going." Mutuals who interacts with me, talk to me, and cares enough to...show me they care. That they know I'm an actual person. People who want to see what I'll do, what I'll make. What I have made. What I've shared. The clean, the messy, the embarassingly authentic, cringey... I don't know. I originally had a point to all of this, some neat way to tie my thoughts up into a bow to be presentable to people on this blog or to my mutuals, but I'm starting to believe I don't really need to do that, do I? It might be presumptuous, but I feel like I know a few people, maybe more, who've actually cared enough to read through my sloppy, nonsensical rambling, that will have read all of this, somehow. You didn't have to, but you did. You did, and...it means a lot. A lot, a lot. I'm a stranger to kindness, but...uh...you're...making it more familiar, I suppose. My dms are open, everyone. I always need more friends, if you wanna talk.

[ahungeringknife]

It Compels Me

@flowers-of-io

Shipping your OC with your friend's OC is like the height of friendship to me. Like sorry we're friend married now you're never getting rid of me. All I'm thinking about is our two stupid Acolyte boyfriends.

=====+=====

Dornuk always came up with grand excuses why he went to the Temple of the Navigator. But really his superiors didn't actually care. They didn't even care if he showed up for muster, just assumed he was dead unless a Wizard was doing a census. Since Savathun's death and the purging of the Entity in the Pyramid Guardians didn't come around in such great numbers. The Throne World was almost safe. Or about as safe as any Hive space could be.

He scurried through the corridors that led to the chewed up land to the Temple of the Navigator. More duty bound acolytes patrolled here with a cache of thrall. Up on the raised platform Kogrur and Rardux the Knight lieutenants that managed the Guard here were talking between themselves casually. Dornuk knew they saw him but they paid him no mind as he went into the Temple, taking the stairs like a normal person. Only the Lightbearer Skye was down here in the temple main, talking with her Ghost animatedly.

"Who goes," Skye called when Dornuk entered the main worship hall with the statue of Oryx slaying Akka.

"Dornuk," he said, hanging back in the stairway briefly, shyly. Mandy peered out of his side pouch at Skye and Abyss.

"Little moth's friend. You're allowed," Skye said, waving at him dismissively. Dornuk bobbed his head in a slight bow and scurried along the wall out of the main atrium. Skye ignored him, going back to talking to Abyss.

Dornuk went down the hallway to Alak Hul's private quarters. He was still stunned he just got to go there. Mandy floated out of the pouch to fly ahead of him, waiting impatiently at the door for him. She called Nakshatra and the ghost of Alak Hul came to let them in, unlocking the door for Dornuk to push open.

Alak Hul wasn't in the main room when he came in. There weren't many places he could hide. But Dornuk wasn't concerned with Alak Hul. He entered the sitting parlor with its comfortable seating and several boxes of strange City and Hive toys. Gup was sitting on one of the lounges on his human made hand tablet. Pockit. That was what Gup said they were called.

"Xolkûn," Dornuk said in greeting, proper despite himself.

Gup perked up and turned around. "Dornuk! And uhg, stop calling me Xolkûn. Only my mom calls me Xolkûn, and that's only when I'm in trouble," he groaned.

"But Xolkûn is your name," Dornuk said. But he also preferred it to Gup. It suited him. He didn't want to admit how much he liked the name. It was both a deeply powerful name and yet so kind, 'the unhungry one'. Xolkûn never knew the bite of your worm's desire to feed, to grow. He also never knew the fear of your worm devouring you if you failed to feed it.

"Yeah but you're my friend! And all my friends call me Gup," Gup said.

"I suppose I can make an exception," Dornuk said haughtily and Gup giggled as Dornuk joined him on the lounge. Gup didn't look like normal Hive and Dornuk was so curious about it. He had a fairly standard looking body for an Acolyte, like Dornuk, but parts of him sported tufts of down like a moth's. His entire head except for some strangely shaped horns was covered in this fluff so you couldn't see any feature of his face except for his three glowing eyes. Dornuk privately thought Gup had fluff in all the 'correct' places one would want fluff.

"How gracious," Gup said.

"You don't have to use your fake voice you know," he reminded Gup.

"It's fine," Gup said. Such a shame. Gup's natural voice was surprisingly deep. Or maybe it shouldn't be surprising. It was very... compelling. Because Dornuk refused to call it attractive. Because Dornuk refused to admit anything about Gup, the weirdo Hive with a Guardian mom, was attractive.

"What are you looking at?" Dornuk asked, leaning in close.

"Mom finally let me have a GnL account on my pockit. I was watching some clips," and he showed Dornuk, turning the pockit to him. Dornuk still had to get close. Which was the point. Dornuk couldn't just ask for attention or by the Deep cuddles but he could position himself into that situation. Gup was an overly affectionate sort though and didn't mind Dornuk getting in close.

He was also smart enough not to mention when Dornuk pressed against his side and fluff and just kept talking about the silly videos he was showing Dornuk. And they were pretty silly even if they were weird human, Guardian, and Eliksni videos. Dornuk even laughed! Dornuk didn't have a lot to laugh about often but he felt comfortable and safe with Gup enough to do so.

Dornuk wasn't quite insightful enough to register when Gup's arm curled around him, holding Dornuk against his side as they watched the videos. He was just enjoying himself acting like he wasn't totally snuggling up against Gup's mothy fluff.