#also in my heart he wears glasses but i know that would be absolute ass for the devs to code around helmets and the like

[caramelkoo]

no questions asked— jjk

Jeon jungkook wants nothing more than to get settled with his girlfriend, but what if her fear of commitment makes him take a step back? Will he do it, or will he be able to changer her mind for good?

pairing : Jungkook X reader

genre : established relationship, smut, fluff

word count : 6.6k (im begging for forgiveness)

Based on this ask <33

warnings : nsfw, strong language, mature, oc is an anxious girly (same), mentions of emotionally unavailable parents, jungkook is a man of dreams, simp boyfriend jungkook, car sex, unprotected sex (be safe), begging, reference of titanic if you squint, yeah that's pretty much it.

a/n : this took million business days lmao but finally it's here. the sweetest anon requested a drabble but i couldn't do it and as much as i tried to make it shorter, it got stretched to 6k words 😭 so im deeply sorry anon. the rest of you who enjoy longer fics, dig in. I love you guys so much, you might not know this but yall are my besties for resties. kisses. 💌

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Your boyfriend is going to propose to you.

Oh god

Oh. my. God.

Anxiety is not a foreign feeling for you. Although this time, it’s an indescribable sort. Something which is lingering in the deepest pit of your stomach for a lack of better word. Besides, there’s a mayhem inside your head, the voices are loud and intimidating, causing you to bite your lip to a point where they bleed while also staring at nothing. 

Jungkook has been nothing but secretive— the poor boy has no idea that you have already seen the navy blue box sitting inside his side of the drawer. You can swear it was totally unintentional.

In your defense, you had been searching for your glasses and that was the only place left to fish around. Nobody could have prepared you for the utter shock when your eyes fell on that box and so for a minute or two you just stood there, horrifyingly still and stunned. However, you recovered quickly, because to be quite honest it was about time one of you mustered up enough courage to ask the question.

It’s supposed to make you thrilled right? So why does something feel… off? 

“Penny for your thoughts?”, as soon as Cherry’s voice reaches your ears, you snap out of it and flash her a forced smile. 

“Yeah-” you begin, “Yeah uh- I’m just thinking about nothing in particular.” 

“_____ you’re an amazing girl but you gotta work on those lying skills.”

A chuckle leaves your mouth. You shouldn’t even have bothered in the first place, the girl can read you like a book. 

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours huh?” 

She picks up the book before scanning it with the barcode scanner all the while you marvel if you should tell her or just let it go, but then you also know how she would become a pain in the ass if you don’t spill the beans to her. Anyway, she can;t make you overthink it any more than you already have. 

You bite your lower lip before saying, “I feel like Jungkook is going to propose.” 

If looks alone could kill, you would have been buried deep by now with the way the man wearing an olive green cardigan, probably in his 50s, gives you side eye when Cherry drops the book with a loud thud on the counter. 

You wince.

“I’m sorry what?” 

When you subtly signal her to pick what she’s dropped, she takes a hold of the book, apologizes to the man who— you’re hundred percent sure hates your guts now, and resumes her work. 

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”

“Ha! Girl you better start telling me more or none of us are going home today.”

She’s talking to you but her hands keep shuffling between scanning the books and expeditiously typing on the keyboard.

A spark of hesitation finds a way inside your heart. The thing is, you’re not sure. Do you want to marry the love of your life? Absolutely. Do you think you can keep the marriage going and stable? No. 

There you said it.

And that kills you because jeopardising your bond and connection with Jungkook is the last thing you want to do.

Maybe, it’s because nobody in your family has been able to keep their inner spark alive after they had gotten married or you might as well blame it on the relationship your own parents have had before your eyes. 

For everyone who couldn’t see past the walls of your house, your parents were an ideal couple. A pair who were equally efficient and successful in their respective areas of life. With your father being a renowned businessman and your mother holding the title of a world famous fashion designer, they couldn’t have been a better partner for each other, right?

Wrong. Too bad you had the honor of being an onlooker of their facade slipping away before getting replaced by their real impudent selves. 

But that’s all you could do though. You were merely just an audience. Someone who could see everything shatter before her eyes and not do a single thing to put an end to it. 

Constant fights, fuming with jealousy over one of them achieving more than the other, sabotaging each other.

All hell broke loose when they began making you take sides. 

You think mommy is better don’t you, honey?

You should be proud of your dad, ____. You’re living such a luxurious life thanks to me. 

For the love of god you were five. What does a five year old know about luxury or human ego? What could you have possibly known about who is better? In your eyes, they were your mom and dad and not some squish mellows placed side by side from which you had to take your pick. Let’s not even start with the emotional unavailability they provided you with.

A knot lodges in your throat and you struggle to get the words out. “I happen to see the box inside his drawer”

“You’re sure it had a ring inside- Wait, don't answer that”, she shakes her head as if she just asked the most ridiculous question ever.

No shit.

“But that’s a good thing right? I mean you guys have been seeing each other for a while now and marriage is the final stop.” she continues and you can’t help but feel terrible, because she is making sense. 

A sigh leaves you, “Yeah no- I mean yeah it is but I didn’t expect him to take the initiative so suddenly. No hints were dropped at all. Marriage is, gosh, I can’t believe I’m saying this but it seems intimidating to me.” 

The queue has finally dissipated at this point so she faces you fully showcasing her engrossment in your dilemma. The girl feeds off drama but refuses to get involved in one.

Her expression morphs into something between horrified and sympathetic. “_____, is that because of your parents?” 

Your heart skips a beat. This whole time you and only you had authority over this thought that your fear of marriage is deeply rooted in your own parents’ fucked up relationship. A belief that lay sly and unseen.

Only after those words left Cherry’s mouth did you realise how venomous they sound. It makes you aware that the fear was not as concealed as you intended to keep it. What are you supposed to do when you find out that somebody else knows about your deepest terrors? Run? Hide? Or simply not say anything? 

Your mouth feels suddenly dry. “What?” 

Cherry takes a hold of your palm and rubs it gently, “If it is, I want you to know that it’s not the case for everyone. Marriage is a beautiful concept, a lovely commitment. Are there some pitfalls to it? Yes. But that’s the beauty of it. The way two people come together and resolve them-”

Your phone buzzes inside your pocket causing you to flinch. Releasing your hands from her hold, you take it out and see your grandmother’s number stare up at you. 

“I’ll just be back.” you excuse yourself just as a woman places a stack of books on the counter.

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“Hey, beautiful” you greet her, a smile lighting up your entire face.

“My baby, did I catch you at the wrong time?” her voice is like a balm to your heart. So warm and comforting. It reminds you of your movie nights with her where you didn’t have to be anything or pretend. You just had to exist and she made it worth it. Always. 

“Now you know even the devil himself can’t stop me from talking to you.” 

A loud chortle reaches your ears and you imagine her throwing her head back, laughing. 

“I was calling to ask if you and your eye candy of a boyfriend are visiting home this year for thanksgiving, dear?” 

Dear lord, you can’t believe you forgot about that.

Your eyes widen, and just when you think you could bubble up some other lie, she speaks up, “You forgot, didn’t you?” 

Yeah, bold of you to assume you can do that and get away. You actually need to work on your lying skills. For whatever reason. You want to pluck your eyelashes out one by one because of how gloomy she sounds.

“I’m genuinely sorry, grams.” pinching the bridge of your nose you continue, “I’ve just been busy with work and barely making ends meet. I promise this is the first and last time I let it slip my mind.” 

With the job you have, there’s only so much cash you can count and while you would love to make a career out of writing, the thought of publishing your own book sends shivers down your spine.

Every time you open the draft a new mistake pops up, taking a percentage of your self confidence down the drain. You’re only human. A microscopic slip catches your attention and you start questioning your life choices. 

“Honey, come home and give yourself some time off, what do you youngsters like to call it? Oh yes, grind. Yeah?” 

It’s your turn to laugh. “Wow someone has been too into love island lately.”

Cherry raises her eyebrows from across the room and you mouth her the word ‘grandma’. She nods with a smile on her face, going back to work. 

A long stretch of silence hangs in the air before you hear her ask, “_____, what else is wrong?” 

The smile which has been adorning your face this whole time instantly drops. You blink.

Once

Twice

Thrice 

“I don’t understand.” Liar.

“You know what I mean, baby. I want you to tell me more, because I know something has been bothering you. What is it?”

Humans are so funny sometimes. They can be as close to you as your own soul and not have a hint of your torment. Meanwhile, there is your grandmother, who despite being so far away from you just….. knew. But again, it has always been like this hasn’t it? 

Whenever you got tired of your parents throwing stuff around the house, making each other lick the floors, trying to make their own and your life a living hell, she knew. 

She was the one who allowed you to cry, and assured you that she would not call you dramatic if she happened to hear your sobs.

You were allowed to cry,

You were allowed to ask for help,

You were allowed to not hold back.

Sucking in a deep breath, you release it, “Everything else is perfect, grams.”

Mr William is always the first person to greet you everyday when you reach the apartment. He’s been working as a guard for years now and you’ve grown quite familiar with him. While being the sweetest man you’ve ever come across, he also brings his wife’s yummiest tarts for you whenever she makes them. Arguably, they deserve more hype than they get.

“She knows how much you love her tarts” he says, making you feel immense gratitude towards his kindness. 

This particular night, he seems…. restless. He’s shifting from one foot to another as you shut the cab’s door behind you. Striding over to him, you mentally try your best to figure out his uneasiness. 

Clearing your throat, your throat as you ask, “Is everything alright, Mr William?” 

Only after he hears your voice, he gains his composure. Or so he tries. 

He hands you a piece of paper which feels a bit wet and you wonder what could have been so intense that the man began having clammy palms.

It’s nearly concerning, not to mention it doesn’t help with your own anxiety at all. If not, shoot it up. 

“Your boyfriend dropped by around lunch time, miss. He handed me this and asked me to give it to you as soon as you come back from work.”

He couldn’t have given it to you yesterday when he was with you in the first place? Weird.

“I see, but why are you so tense? Has something happened?” 

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “My wife has been sick and I was supposed to leave early but I figured it would be better if I gave it to you safely before going home to her.” 

Fuck

“You could have given this to me later. Your wife comes first, sir.” you gulp, “Please, I appreciate your gesture but she needs you more. Thank you so much and please let me know if I can be of help.”

He releases an empty chuckle. “Thank you, Miss” 

With one last nod you walk inside the building while also hoping he doesn’t call you for help. Not because you won’t do anything it takes to help him, but because you hope it wouldn’t come to it. The moment you shut the apartment door behind and turn on the light, the piece of paper steals your attention. Without waiting any further, you unfold it, coming across Jungkook’s writing. 

The note alone feels like he whispered it into your ear before placing the softest kiss on your skin. Your lips stretch into a serene smile as you stride over to the bedroom, turning the doorknob as your gaze catches a purple bodycon resting on top of your bed. It is accompanied with a bouquet of pink tulips as well as a bar of Dubai chocolate. 

Your head that has been nothing short of a commotion is now finally at peace. Not entirely but at peace nonetheless.

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Jungkook was 12 when he went on his first roller coaster ride. He was, like every other child, afraid. Afraid that he might fall and hurt himself so bad, he wouldn’t ever be able to get up. The roller coaster had a massive drop followed by a corkscrew which took him upside down. Until the moment Jungkook saw a woman in yellow dress buying a bunch of tulips from the flower shop he very often visited, he had never felt his stomach bottom out as strongly as it did during that drop back then.

There she was, chatting with the florist as if they’re best friends. He could see her behind the glass picking out the pink tulips before sniffing them. Meanwhile, Jungkook stood across the road, soaked and enchanted as he wondered if he should ask for her number or chicken out. Eventually, the latter won. 

But here’s the thing, Jungkook is not one for losing. He hates losing, even the term makes him want to peel his own skin off. 

He saw her hair first, becoming curly locks reaching down to her waist and just above her hips. Granted that his line of sight only allowed him to see her side profile, he assumed she was gorgeous. It was not unlikely for him to see beautiful women on a daily basis, but something about her just sucked him in. His eyes could not leave her face and he believed even if they tried, he would pluck them out just to punish them. Was it weird that his hands itched to hold a woman he doesn’t even know? 

What’s her name?

Where does she live?

What’s her favorite color?

How does she like her coffee?

There’s a japanese phrase called koi no yokan which means that you eventually will fall in love with a person you meet. You’re going to grow so fond of that person that you would want to see no one by your side but them. She was that person for him. 

He rubs his hands for the nth time in a futile attempt to warm them up, waiting outside ____’s building. How is this evening going so slow? He has been here for perhaps half an hour now, so why does it feel like it’s been a decade? 

And funnily enough, the only person who can put him out of his misery is _____. At this point, the guy fears he wouldn’t be able to so much as look her in the eye, but not doing that will be the end of him too.

He looks down and lets his hands run over his black button down shirt, wondering if she would like it. She loved seeing him in black on the first date. A loud click clack of heels grab his attention, perking his ears up. He looked up and there she was in all her glory. 

Jungkook releases a breath and rubs his chest as if his heart hurts. As if it’s telling him how unworthy he is of this woman who is walking up to him, who may be as nervous as him but still chose him as her man. 

The woman who could have anyone she wanted wrapped around her pinky finger gave her days, nights and evenings to him. She smiled at him, for him and if he was lucky, because of him.

_____ stops before him while he’s still adjusting to the sight of her. “How do I look?” 

Unreal, exquisite and way out of his league.

He shakes his head from side to side, thinking of a single word that would suffice the answer to that. He fails and so instead he runs his fingers down her forearm until he reaches her soft hands and takes it into his own cold ones. 

Placing a chaste kiss on her knuckles, he begins. “My imagination of you in this dress has got nothing on this vision.” 

Her face morphs into the softest expression of love, “And exactly how many times have you imagined me in this dress, Jeon Jungkook?” 

He takes a step forward, his chest almost touching hers. “I can’t answer that. You want to know why?” 

“Why?” Her voice is emotionless. His thumb grazes her lower lip as he tries not to smudge her nude lipstick. “Because if I do, we’ll have to go back into your apartment and try not to wake your neighbours up.” She swats his chest and softly pushes him back, dissolving into a giggle. 

“You’re looking quite handsome yourself.” she says as her eyes shamelessly check him out. His sleeves are halfway folded stopping just below his elbow, beautifying his tattooed forearms.

He’s also wearing his favorite blue baggy jeans with his usual black chunky boots. The same ones he goes for when he knows _____ might not be able to bear the pain caused by her heels, so he ends up swapping them with the boots.

He would argue carrying her all the way to her apartment instead, but settles elseways. 

Jungkook opens the car door for her and only after she’s well seated, he runs to his side and takes off. 

The ride to the restaurant is quiet despite the obvious tension that doesn't go unnoticed by either him or her. As much as he would like to spend the rest of the night snuggled into bed with her, he knows there is something more significant than that. So instead he indulges in caressing her thigh. 

“After you, angel.” He places a hand on the small of her back. 

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The ambience looks straight out of the movies. Like a paradise. Violinists are playing a chorus of Fuck her gently by Tenacious D far across the room. 

Jungkook catches an unknown look on her face. “Something’s wrong?” 

She shakes her head, flashing him a smile. “I love this song.”

He places a tiny kiss on her temple. “I know, baby. C’mon.” 

You know how women have this killer instinct of knowing if and when somebody’s watching them? It’s like they have a separate pair of googly eyes on the back of their head to protect them from creeps. 

From the moment you have entered the place, the man in the wine shirt has been making a hole in your face with the way he’s been staring at you. 

Is your dress too revealing? Are you showing too much skin?

“Oh I forgot to tell you. Your grandmother called earlier today.” Jungkook disrupts your thoughts. 

You gulp down the last piece of steak before answering. “Let me guess she asked you to join her for thanksgiving?” He nods, a bright smile on his face. “I told her I would love to.” 

A cheeky smile unfurls slowly on your face. Jungkook loves your grandmother. Maybe a little bit more than you do. Just a tiny bit though. Last year when you and he visited her, he was the first person apart from you to get a hug out of her.

Your grandma is not much of a hugger by the way. Her hugs are totally exclusive. 

“I’m sure she loves having my ‘eye candy of a boyfriend’ there.” 

Jungkook snorts, placing his fork down. “She called me an eye candy?” 

He dissolves into a fit of laughter when you answer his question with a nod. 

“See now that’s the biggest achievement I have had in a while. I mean what are the odds your wife’s grandma calls your an eye candy-”

Something sours in your stomach. The steak here tastes awful or maybe it’s just you feeling pathetic that as soon as he says ‘wife’ your expression morphs into something so dreadful that it causes him to stop. What are the odds that you just gave him a reality check and dragged him out of a fool’s paradise?

“Angel, what’s-” 

You stand abruptly, cutting him off yet again. His eyes bob all over you, and then a sad frown puckers between his brows. 

“I’ll just be back. I need to use the washroom.” You say as you grab your handbag as quickly as you can before leaving him there. Confused and wondering what the fuck just happened?

Few minutes later, just as you’re walking outside the washroom and making a way towards your table someone’s voice causes you to stop midway. 

“Excuse me.” 

Turning to face the person, you come face to face with the same man from earlier. The one wearing a wine colored shirt along with a nasty expression. You believe he’s trying to look cocky but is failing miserably.

“Can I help you?” 

A slow smile spreads over his mouth. “I couldn’t help but notice that the man you’re here with seems to upset you in some way.”

An awkward chuckle leaves you. “The man is my boyfriend and I don’t think it concerns you if he’s upsetting me or not.” 

He walks a little closer. Oh no, this is bad. 

“Fair enough,” he shrugs, “But clearly he’s not being a good boyfriend, is he?” 

The audacity of this man.

You huff out a frustrated breath, “Listen, you need to shut up and stay within your limits. It’s not healthy going around poking your nose into everyone’s business.” 

His sly smile grows even more as he steps closer than before. 

The hair on your body stands up, and not in a good way, but in a very uncomfortable way. You suddenly regret the idea of leaving Jungkook’s side. Bad, bad decision. 

Currently, you have two options. You can either just walk off and act like nothing happened, which by the way, is a safe option or you can kick the man in the balls and then act like nothing happened.

Since you're much more accustomed to the former option, you decide to do just that but when his hands grip your wrist with an iron grip, you settle on the latter. 

You knee him between the legs with an intention to hurt him as he grunts in pain, his hands gripping where you just kicked him. 

“You fucking bitch.” 

Before he can say anything further, you storm off. Your phone buzzes inside your handbag and you automatically assume it to be Jungkook’s call. As soon as you spot him across the room, you feel the clouds parting, there’s a feeling threatening to arise. It’s something between protected and anguished. 

Anguished because you let your mind speak so deafeningly that it silenced the oh so loud love Jungkook has for you. And protected because you know for a fact that if he had any idea about what that man just did to you, he would not think twice before dragging him by the hair before bringing him to his knees in front of you to apologize. 

He stands once he sees you and you waste no time running towards him. Your arms go around him as you nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck. His arms immediately embracing you in return, securing you against his chest.

It feels warm.

Concern laces his voice as he says, “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you. Breathe” 

You don’t even realise you’re panting unless he says that. You’re aware that at this point the way you flung yourself at him must have got everyone’s attention. But you genuinely don’t care. It might as well be an auditorium full of people watching you hug your boyfriend like an anchor, you just don’t care. 

You realise that’s exactly what Jungkook is. Your anchor. Someone who didn’t even ask as to what happened before he straight away began consoling you. 

His hand envelops the back of your head in a protective way while the other soothes your back. 

“Do you want to leave? We can leave right now if you want to.”

“Yes, please.”

His body shakes as though he just nodded. “All right, let me pay real quick and we’ll leave yeah?”

Your voice is muffled against his chest. “Yeah.”

You suck in a sharp breath as he lets you go. The small folder on the table grabs your attention. He opens it only to find a note inside of it saying— “It’s on me, gorgeous”. 

You can see the wheels in his mind turning, but before he starts asking you any questions which may or may not cause a breakdown of yours, you say, “I’ll explain it to you outside. Can we please go?” 

“Let me see wh-”

“Please?” He lets out a defeated sigh and nods. “Yeah- Yeah let’s go.” 

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At first when Jungkook saw that note, the first emotion that he felt was rage and a very serious one at that. But it was soon replaced by realization. It doesn’t take a scientist to figure out that something nasty went down after _____ left to use the washroom. Something he can’t wait to get to the bottom of. Nevertheless, he didn’t want her to be pressured to answer the more obvious question. 

Jungkook’s girl is attractive. She’s kind and empathetic and fucking stunning which makes her worthy of all the attention she gets. Of course men are going to want to be with her. 

Initially, it bothered him. A lot. 

Now, though? He’s grown rather used to it. However, it has never come to having someone pay for her in a restaurant. Even the thought of someone so much as speaking to her in an inhumanely manner makes him want to punch a hole through a wall. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

The silence is too loud inside the car. He can hear ____’s heart beating loudly or is it his own?

She’s leaning back with her head against the headrest. When she doesn’t respond, Jungkook speaks again, “_____ baby, will you please at least look at me?” 

Her eyes connect with his and he flashes her the softest of smiles.

Taking her hand, he kisses the inside of her wrist where he can feel her pulse. 

Thump thump thump. 

“I want you to give me something, angel. Anything.” 

He can see her gulp before admitting, “There was um… there was a guy outside the washroom and he kind of tried to force himself on me,” she closes her eyes for a brief moment, “Maybe I’m just being dramatic, but I handled him.” 

Jungkook’s stomach drops. He was right. His hands fly out to open the car door before _____ holds him back. “Don’t. I said I handled it.”

He turns back, his voice leaking with anger along with something more barbaric. “And I’m proud that you did, but if I don’t go in and beat that asshole into a new one I won’t be able to call myself a man worthy of you anymore. I need him to know that he can’t fuck with my girl and go about his goddamn day.” “Jungkook, please. I can’t take it anymore. Please stop.” 

And he does. For now. 

He leans back, running his hands over his face with frustration. For a few minutes he and ____ just stare outside the front glass of the car. The parking lot slowly gets empty as people leave for their homes one by one. 

Just when he thinks  _____ has dozed off, her voice reaches him. “Can I get one more hug?” 

“Come here.” 

He takes her into a warm embrace before kissing the top of her head, settling his lips there. His anger has yet not fully dissipated, but having her so close calms his heart. It calms his whole being. Her touch, her breath against his skin, her presence heals something in him.

Therefore, he made up his mind about spending his whole life with her. The little slip of words, which by the way was totally unintentional, soured _____'s expression and that didn’t go unnoticed by him. 

She’s scared but he fully intends to let her know that she doesn’t have to.

______ unwraps herself from his arms and pushes back. Just enough for their noses to touch.

She shakes her head, “Don’t give me those eyes.” 

Jungkook holds back a smile. “What eyes, angel?” 

“The same ones you give me when you want something dirty to happen. Those big brown eyes of yours.”

He lets a chuckle slip out. “I’m down if you are.” 

When she offers him her own laugh, gosh it’s as though he comes alive. If he could bottle up the sound, he would. Something passes in _____’s eyes. Lust? Desire? He can’t pinpoint. 

He wants to kiss the hell out of her though and he wants to do it desperately. Her eyes drop to his mouth and he takes it as a sign to lean forward and press his mouth against hers. 

Her lips part ever so slightly followed by her gripping Jungkook’s collar to bring him even closer. So close as if she wants their souls to intertwine. 

The feeling is very much mutual. 

She gets up from the passenger’s seat without breaking the kiss and straddles his lap. Her legs on either side of his thigh as their core’s touch. Jungkook is not sure how long he can endure this sweet pain of waiting. 

In all sincerity, he’s been holding himself back from the very moment he saw her walking up to him in that dress. Do with that information what you will. 

Now, he just wants to say fuck it and get inside her— only that he can’t, because he wants her to take her time and ask for it. Then and then only he will fuck her. If it’s inside this car then so be it. 

The kiss is electric and filled with passion, tingling his skin in all the right places as she matches his enthusiasm with her own.

______ pulls back with a deep breath, leaving Jungkook panting heavily. 

“Please.” she begs. 

A strand of hair falls on her face. He tucks it behind her ear. “Please what baby?” 

“Please fuck me, Jungkook. I want you so bad and I want you right now.” she whines.

He grins. “At your service, ma’am.” 

He hears _____’s light chuckle as he gets out of the car, carrying her with him while also making sure she doesn’t hit her head on the hood. She detaches herself from him once they’re out and settles in the back seat. Only after ensuring she’s comfortable enough, Jungkook follows her. 

His body lays on top of her and he wastes no time as their mouths collide. Her finger grip the hair on his nape and he groans with pleasure, his cock going thick. He rubs it on her lower stomach to show her how much he wants her, gaining a moan out of her. 

Jungkook’s head goes fuzzy with every passing second. He almost comes when she lifts her hips up and rubs a slow circle against his cock. 

“Fuck.” He groans, pulling back from the kiss. _____’s cheeks are heated and lips are swollen. He did that. Her man did that. 

Suddenly, he’s grateful for the tinted glass and his big car. 

_____ lifts her head up and kisses his sweaty cheek, swiping his forehead with her palm. “You’re sweating, honey.” 

“Yeah, I tend to do that in your presence. Do you know how hard it was for me to stay sane after seeing you look so unbelievably gorgeous?” 

She passes him a lazy smile, “You’ve always been so good at controlling yourself, haven’t you?” 

“Not anymore.” He sits up, knees on either side of her body and starts unbuckling his belt all the while panting with excitement. His pants slide halfway down letting his cock spring free. Thick, angry and leaking with precum. His shirt goes next.

______’s eyes flash with lust as she bites her lower lip. The straps of her dress have slipped down, leaving her tits bare and open for Jungkook.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good, baby.” he leans forward as she runs a hand up his bare spine, hooking her legs over his hip.

“Please.” she whispers. 

A loud thunder outside the car grabs Jungkook’s attention. Nice, he’s so horny he didn’t even realise that it’s raining. Another rumble of thunder drowns their panting breath but he still only focuses on the woman beneath him. The goddess of a woman who trusts him with her body. How lucky he is to call her his own. 

She brushes his hair out of his face, her thumb dusting over the mole on the bridge of his nose before her hand follows the path of his tattooed arm, his rib, his ass, until she wraps a fist around his dick. 

He pushes into her hand. “I need to grab the condoms from the console, angel.”

There’s a brief moment of silence, the car filling with the pants and whimpers before she says, “I want you bare. I’m on the pill.” 

Jungkook has never gone without condom nor has he considered going without one, but this woman right here just asked him to get inside her bare and fuck if it doesn’t tempt him.

And so he gives in, but not before asking, “Are you sure?” 

“As sure as one can be.” 

He nods, bringing his lips back to hers. His hand finds her thong under the dress as he slides it down her legs. Then he strokes a single line up and down her slit, wetting his finger with her cum. When he brings the same finger to his mouth and sucks on it, _____ all but whimpers. 

His cock follows next and he does the same with it, rubbing himself up and down her slit as he coats himself in her before he presses his thumb down on the head of his cock, curls his hips forward, and pushes into her. 

Tortuously slowly, inch by fucking inch. 

She’s so warm and tight for him. He’s not sure how long he can take before he shoots his load inside of her. 

“More.” she pleads, her face morphing into the most beautiful expression of pleasure. 

Jungkook pulls back and pushes again, watching more of a length disappear inside of her. He’s not even halfway in and she’s already crying out his name. 

Leaning in, he bites her neck in an attempt to give her his all. All his love, all his nights and all his life. The question is at the tip of his tongue but considering what happened inside, he quickly holds himself back. 

“You’re doing so good for me, my angel. Taking me so well,” He thrusts again. “You’re made for me, aren’t you?” 

She cries out. 

“What was that?” She throws her head back. “Yes. Oh my god” 

Thrust. “Yes, what baby? I’m gonna need you to say it.” 

Jungkook takes her nipple in his mouth, sucking on it until she cries out again, “I’m made for you. Fuck.”

He releases the nipple with a loud pop. “That’s right you are.” His pelvic bone is flush with hers, ____’s legs as wide as possible to accommodate him. She dusts her fingertips up and down his spine while he slowly kisses along her jaw.

When she pushes her heels into his ass, urging him to move, he pulls out part way before pushing back in again. 

She lets out a moan quickly followed by his own. _____’s hands run over Jungkook’s abs, nipples, and wrap around his shoulders. 

He’s fucking her slowly, taking his time, feeling her body and letting her feel his too. Every brush, every graze, every breath is precious to him.

Soft and intimate. 

So when the next words leave Jungkook’s mouth, he blames it on the moment. “Marry me.”

_____’s eyes which were closed earlier, savoring the very moment, pop open and his movement halts. 

“What?” 

“Fuck. Okay, I know this is not a position or place a woman wants to be proposed in, but I have to say this before I go insane. _____, I know you’re scared and I also know the reason behind it. Of course, I won’t ask you why you kept that part a secret from me, because I respect you and want you to take your time. But baby,” he brushes his thumb over her cheekbone, “I need you to know that I will die before I let anything like that go down between us. I love you so much you don’t even realise. Sometimes I even shock myself with how much I cherish you. You’re a gift to me, a gift which brings out the best not just in me but in everyone she meets.”

He places a small kiss on her forehead before continuing, “I can go anywhere, see everything but it still wouldn’t match the level of affection I hold for you in my heart. Still wouldn’t match the beauty of your smile, you amazing woman. You’re all I have ever wanted. So please, make me the happiest motherfucker in the world by saying ye-”

“Yes” 

‘What?”

“Yes, I’ll marry you. Now will you please shut up fuck me like you promised, husband?” 

He bites her jaw, “Oh, I’ll fuck you so nice you’ll be begging for more, wife.”

Soon enough, _____’s lower lip trembles as her orgasm takes over, and he has the privilege to watch it all. The fluttering of her lashes, the marks of her nail down his arm and the way she calls him her husband again when she’s able to find her words. 

He’s so gone.

About half an hour later when he asks her again as to what changed her mind about marriage, she says something so deep yet in such a casual way, he wants to cry. 

“When I hugged you inside, you didn’t ask questions. You just let me be and that may seem like a miniscule thing for someone else, but for me it was enough. Enough to stay with you until I turn all wrinkly and grey haired.” 

[amorremanet]

Elías de Riva cannot help having a nice ass and correct opinions about everything, as if it’s his fault

[futurecorps3]

Sirius black with a busty reader

𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Masterlist<3

MINORS STAY AWAY I'LL BLOCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, THIS IS +18!!! See also… All marauders versions in my marauders masterlist<3

I want you all to picture me giggling and kicking my feet while writing this 'cause this is my main hoe 🤭💗

-BUYS. YOU. NECKLACES.

-I'll die on this hill dear god

-Pretty silver chains, golden necklaces with expensive charms, you name it! HE SPOILS YOU SM BECAUSE THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE ASF TOO?????

-Yk that good house of Black money n shit hehe

-Loves seeing how it sometimes gets in the middle of your tits and pulls it out himself, definitely touching you more than necessary

-"Wait, I'm almost there doll" "Do you need to bury your face in my boobs to get that crow charm out?” you deadpan with a smile, looking down at the pretty boy, feeling his nose dig in like he’s on a treasure hunt

-“Helps my visibility” yeah visibility my ass he loves your pretty tits

-He’s the “Wear what you want, I can fight” type of guy <3 (all of them are!!!)

-Will and has gotten into fights if someone’s staring and making you uncomfortable. No one disrespects his girl like that:)

-L E A T H E R T O P S

-You both wear leather tops that show your belly and chests, matching ones ofc!!!

-Remus loves sweaters, James loves crop tops

-Sirius lives for seeing you in lacy bras AND his leather jacket:(

-Boy gets heart eyes, jaw to the floor, drooling, screaming (ofc the boys mock him for it<3)

-“You’ll catch flies with that mouth, Pads” Remus smirks, watching Sirius watch you having a conversation with some Ravenclaw girl as you pour more fire whiskey on your glass “Shut it Moons” he replies, dreamy voice too entranced to even comprehend the chaos the party around him was causing

-Speaking of parties, he loves doing vodka shots from your boobs.

-Ogles them sm and compliments them all the fucking time!!!!!

-He’s shameless about it as well

-"Your tits look amazing" with a lovesick expression on his face like he genuinely loves them so so so much

-He knows his friends stare and he doesn’t mind as long as you don’t either. Boosts his ego quite a lot tbh!!

-If you feel uncomfortable, he’ll definitely do something about it! The boys would never make you uneasy, of course. They look away to be respectful, but those small glances have Sirius all cocky

-Having said THAT…

-Marks u up <3

-I’m talking love bites, scratches, hickeys

-Makes sure to make them on a regular basis so they don’t fade out with time

-Yes the boys have walked in on him marking you many times

-“Fucking hell Padfoot just lock the bloody door” James groans while covering his eyes since he knew damn well his best friend wasn’t stopping. “Hey Prongs” you giggle “Hi darling” he says, still not looking at you guys

-“Could you tell your pig boyfriend to lock the door next time?” “ITS AN ART YOU WOULDNT GET IT!!!” he yells, but the sound comes out muffled and barely understandable. “We’ll try” you muse, giggling slightly as the other boy left the room

-Won’t do any of these if he knows it bothers you!! Respectful legend <3

-So, summing it up

-He absolutely adores your boobs, is very much shameless about it and will not tolerate bullshit from anyone <3

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

The green-eyed, Green-Eyed Monster

(I was sent this beautiful pic which was found on Pinterest, and we can't find the owner, if anyone knows, please let me know so I can credit them.)

Summary: Y/N decides to get back at Jensen for walking away from her, by reminding him just what he's missing out on.

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Smut. Lots of smut. Unprotected P in V sex, sex in a mostly public place, sex in a slightly skeevy room, oral (m and f receiving) throat fucking, rough sex, spanking (just a bit) slight overstimulation, possessive!jensen, jealous!jensen, poor decision-making skills that would result in a much different outcome in real life - but hey fics are NOT real life, so bring on the fantasy! 😜 Oh, and some fluff to finish.

Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Y/N

Word Count: 2,813

A/N: So, the other day, I wrote this little tongue-in-cheek post, and got some absolutely fabulous reblogs and comments, which encouraged me to combine some teeth-rotting fluff with my reader being fucked into oblivion. I said I would try it.

Then earlier today, the beautiful @myloversgone sent me the INCREDIBLE pic above and this story pretty much materialized in my brain instantly. It turned out to be a bit more smut based than fluff based, but there's definitely fluff at the end. Hope you all enjoy it! 😊

A/N 2: As always, this is a different version of Jensen from within the Multiverse who is single. Absolute and complete fiction, of course.

The beautiful divider at the bottom was created by @firefly-graphics

Masterlist || Tag Lists

(Dumblr is currently messing with my Masterlist at the moment, and some links aren't working, but I've contacted support, and we'll see if they can fix it? I'm also working to get all my library of fics transfered and posted on Ao3, so when that happens, I'll share a link to read them over there. ❤️)

You watch Jensen across the club floor, and feel a thrill of vindication when you see him throw back his third shot of tequila in barely ten minutes. He’s obviously pissed, but it’s no less than he deserves for walking away from you and breaking your heart. 

His eyes find you again on the dance floor, and you grind your ass back against the stranger dancing up against you. You have no idea who the guy is, and you have no interest in learning. All you know is that he’s the guy making Jensen’s eyes shoot jealousy-filled daggers your way, so you turn to face him and throw your arms around his neck. 

The guy seems happy to dance close and not ask questions, so you look to where Jensen is standing on the VIP dais, behind the velvet rope and, keeping direct eye contact with him, you nibble gently on the guy’s earlobe. Jensen’s eyes flash and narrow, and you’re reminded of just how much he used to love it when you did that to him.

He downs tequila number four, tossing the shot glass down before storming away from the group around him. He disappears towards the back of the club and without thinking about anything, not the cute guy you're dancing with, or the consequences for your heart if you follow him, you run off the dance floor to find him.

The thumping house music is slightly muted as you move through a black velvet curtain into a long, red, wallpapered hallway. The club is infamous for this back hallway and the rooms that lead off of it; the regular club patrons have dubbed it the path of sin because there are constantly devilish things happening back there. As you pass by the first door, you can hear the distinct cracking sound of leather against skin followed by cries of pain and pleasure mingling together. You watch the woman in the next room through the wide open door as she snorts a line of white powder up her nose. 

There’s no shame on the path of sin.

As you near the end of the hallway you’re beginning to think that maybe Jensen just left the club altogether. But then he casually steps out of the last room on your left - looking like walking sex, clothed entirely in black, and wearing an expression that makes your stomach clench in anticipation, desire, and just a hint of fear. Jensen’s anger can be intimidating, even if you know he’d never actually hurt you.

But nevertheless, you’d been working very hard to piss him off, and it looks like you succeeded. 

He steps close to you and you back away; he continues to walk you backwards till you hit the wall opposite the room he just exited. You raise your chin defiantly and Jensen wraps his big hand around your throat, holding you in place. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing out there?” He asks in a low growl. “Who is that fucking guy?”

You shrug your shoulders and attempt a dispassionate expression, but you know Jensen can read the pulsating desire in your body and you’re so wet and needy for him that he can probably smell your arousal. 

Still, your voice is impressively cool as you raise an eyebrow at his audacity. “I don’t think it’s any of your business who I dance with anymore, jackass. Since, you know, you took your name off my dance card.”

Jensen’s bright green eyes are dark with anger and lust, both of which make you want to start squirming, but you’re trying to hold on to a thread of dignity. Then he steps closer to you, pushing his leg between yours and it’s everything you can do not to grind down against the meaty thigh he’s purposely rubbing against your drenched pussy.

His voice is low and wicked as his delectable mouth is hovering just above yours. “I didn’t like seeing you with him.”

“Then I guess you shouldn’t have thrown me away, huh?” You say accusingly as you try to push his hand away from your throat. 

But Jensen just grabs your wrist to pin your hand above your head and tightens his grip on your throat slightly as he rocks his lower body against you, making you finally let out an involuntary groan as you feel the hard ridge of his cock through his custom-tailored, black cotton pants.

A flash of victory sparks in his juniper eyes and he bucks against you again; you bite down on your lip to stifle another heated moan. But Jensen’s voice is full of persuasion and delicious promise and you know you’re lost. “You don’t want that loser you were dancing with, do you, baby girl? You still want me. Don’t you?” 

You try to shake your head no, but he’s not buying it. You both know what you wanted when you followed him down the hallway.

Sin. You’re only here for sin.

He pushes your free hand against his cock, closing your fingers around the rock hard bulge there. “I still want you too,Y/N. Fuck, I want you so badly.” He says in your ear, his hot breath making you shiver. “I want to remind you what it feels like to be fucked stupid, to be ridden so hard and so good that every other guy is just a pathetic memory.”

His hand leaves your throat so he can yank down your sequined tank top, groaning at the fact that you’re wearing nothing underneath. His mouth is on you in an instant, pulling your tit into his mouth and sucking hard, making it impossible for you to stifle the cry of pleasure that tumbles from your lips.

He moves to your other breast and flicks his tongue across your nipple, making it pucker into a tight bud that he then sinks his teeth into, giving it a sharp tug.

“Jensen!” You cry out, and against your will, the fingers of your free hand push into his long, soft, honey brown locks, holding him in place as he continues to flick his tongue back and forth against your extremely sensitive skin.

He stands up straight and pulls your other wrist up to be trapped against the wall above your head. He holds them easily in one hand, using his other hand to slowly trace his forefinger over your lips.

“I missed this sweet fucking mouth, and all the filthy things you can do with it.” He clamps his hand around your jaw, forcing your mouth open so he can lick up into it “I wanna fuck down your throat till your gagging, and too full of my cock to ever think of anyone else.”

Your eyes roll back in your head and saliva dribbles out of the corner of your open mouth at the memory of his thick, smooth, delicious cock sliding across your tongue and down your throat, and the memory makes you whimper. Taking that as an invitation, Jensen pushes you down to your knees with one hand while the other keeps your hands tightly bound above your head.

He unbuckles his belt one-handed, before popping open the button on his pants and pulling down his zipper with easy dexterity. There’s a fleeting moment where you remember that for all intents and purposes, you’re on full display, in public, and you think of suggesting that you retreat to one of the rooms. But then he pulls his dick out and taps it against your lips and it’s immediately all you can think about.

“Open up, baby.” Jensen coos at you and you don’t hesitate to obey, sticking your tongue out in anticipation. He eases into your mouth slowly, giving you ample time to prepare for him, but your throat still bulges and you still gag around his giant cock as it pushes down your esophagus. Jensen fucks into your mouth unhurriedly and deliberately, sometimes sliding down your throat, and sometimes just hitting the back of it, causing a satisfying gluck, gluck sound as you choke around him.

Tears are streaming down your cheeks, and you know your mascara must be running black over your skin. He reaches out his thumb to smear the make-up further across your cheekbone.

“So fucking pretty, stuffed full of my cock. This throat is mine, this mouth is mine. Isn’t it, baby?” He asks roughly as he presses himself as far down your throat as he can. You refuse to nod, or give him the satisfaction of giving in easily. You don’t want him to think he’s won yet.

He pulls out completely and leaves you coughing, and gasping, precum and spit dripping out of your mouth. He pulls you up by the vice grip he still has on your wrists and crushes you against the wall, his big hand squeezing your breast hard. You bite down on your lip again, stifling another cry of pleasure. 

“Answer me, Y/N. This mouth is mine, these tits are mine, your throat, your cunt, every inch of this body belongs to me, doesn’t it?”

“You left, remember? I thought you weren’t interested in them anymore.” You rasp, the words coming up harshly from your abused throat.

Jensen stares into you, his forest green eyes intense and piercing. “Oh, I’m interested.” His voice is thick with need and possessiveness, but there’s a hint of regret there too. “I want all of you, every atom of you to be mine. I didn’t realize how desperately I fucked up until I saw you out there tonight pressed up against that piece of shit douchebag.”

He pushes his hand up your short skirt and rubs his thick fingers over your soaked panties. “I’m never gonna let you go again. No one else’s hands are gonna touch what’s mine.”

Panting harshly into your mouth, Jensen pushes your panties aside and slips two fingers through your slick. “Now answer me, Y/N. Tell me you’re mine.”

Your body clenches tightly around his invading fingers and you buck your hips forward as he presses easily against your g-spot again and again, tapping out a rhythm of delirious pleasure.

“Yes, yes, yes.” Is all you can manage, but Jensen seems to accept it as confirmation and he pulls his hand out of your body so he can yank you into the room across from you. He closes and locks the door and pushes you forward onto the single bed in the corner of the room.

“Hands and knees.” He orders and you comply immediately.

He steps up behind you and you expect to feel his cock push into you, but instead you feel him sink to his knees on the floor behind you and you’re suddenly speared on his hard, thick tongue. His tongue fucks you into your first orgasm, but it doesn’t end there. His mouth is heaven and hell against your throbbing cunt, his beautiful plump lips suck your clit into his mouth and he nibbles and licks at the overly sensitive nub, until you’re screaming out your second and third orgasm in quick succession. 

His fingers push into you, and he scissors you open wide, so his long, velvety tongue can reach deep into your pussy, making you push back against his face and let out inhuman noises of pleasure so intense it’s almost painful. Your fourth orgasm hits you like a tidal wave and you flop forward on the bed. No longer able to hold your torso up, you bury your face into your folded arms as Jensen stands up straight behind you.

He rubs his hands soothingly down your back. “That was for me to say I’m sorry for being a jackass and hurting you.” You nod disjointedly in acceptance of his apology.

Then you jolt upright as a stinging slap connects with your right ass cheek. You let out a screech of pain and indignation as he does the same to the left. He delivers two more sharp spanks to each cheek, reddening your ass, and warming it significantly.

You scowl at him over your shoulder and he points his finger at you. “Uh uh.” He reprimands you, eyebrow raised. “That is for your little jealousy stunt that you pulled tonight. I know you only did it to piss me off. Well, this is what happens when you piss me off and make me jealous.”

His hard palms deliver one more simultaneous smack to each cheek, making you bite your lip from the sting even as your core clenches and slick drips down your thighs. He rubs his calloused palms over your skin, easing the fiery tingle he caused, and sweeps his hands down the backs of your thighs, dragging his blunt fingernails back up them and over your ass, making your whole body quiver.

After a minute, he speaks softly, but in a dark voice raging with heat. “Do you want me to fuck you now, baby girl?”

Your words are lost, but you grunt and push your hips back towards him. He chuckles softly and takes the nonverbal cue. You feel him line up at your entrance, but he just teases your hole, pushing in ever so slightly. 

“How do you want me, baby? Hard and fast, or slow and sweet?” 

You nod, because you just need him, but he waits for an answer so you bark out your request. 

“Hard. Fast. Now!”

Jensen growls and ratchets you forward on the bed as he slams into you. “Yes, Ma’am.” He says as he pulls out and slams back immediately. 

He does indeed give it to you hard and fast; his pace is unforgiving and relentless, pounding into you so fast and so powerfully that your knees are burned from sliding forward on the cheap polyester blanket covering the bed. His fingers dig into your pelvic bone, bruising you as he slams you back against him.

The guttural sounds that are coming from deep in his chest as he’s fucking you are what push you over the edge for the fifth time, and as you clench tightly around his cock, you feel him spurting hot and thick deep inside you, painting you, marking you, claiming you.

He collapses on you, and you let him crush you into the mattress. Eventually he slides out of your body and sits on the floor, pulling you into his lap and holding you close. He spreads soft kisses across your closed eyes and the bridge of your nose as his fingers trail soothingly over your breasts, teasing them softly.

“Y/N,” he says softly against your cheek, “I am sorry, you know. I never should have walked away from you. But…”

When he doesn’t immediately finish you look up at him and egg him on with your expression. “But?”

He let out a deep sigh. “You scare the shit out of me, woman. I don’t know what to do with someone like you.”

You frown, trying to decide if you’re insulted or not. “Someone like me?”

He nods.”Yes, someone who can absolutely bring me to my knees with a look, someone who drives me crazy with want, feeling like I need my hands on you 24/7, someone who makes me laugh and makes me happier than I’ve ever been.” He throws his hands up. “I don’t know what to do with that.”

You’re still frowning. “Um…sorry?”

He scoffs. “I know it’s stupid, but I got suddenly terrified that it was all too perfect, you were too perfect, we were too perfect together, everything fit, and everything was easy, and easy things scare me. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and when it wouldn’t, I think I figured I’d help it along.”

He shakes his head and then kisses you slowly, sweetly, before dropping his forehead to yours. “Y/N, I’m a fucking idiot. Can you forgive me? If I promise to trust this, trust you, can we try again?”

You’d known from the first moment that the idiotic idea had come into your head to try and make him jealous, that this was what you were angling for; a way to show him what he was giving up, and maybe a way to try again.

So, you nod readily and throw your arms around his neck. “Yes, Jensen, we can try again. But promise me that the next time you start panicking, you’ll open your mouth and talk to me about it.”

He nods. “I will. And will you promise me something too?”

“Hmm?”

His hand cups your breast and squeezes making you gasp. “Only my hands are allowed to touch this perfection.” He tips your chin up with his forefinger to make you meet his intense green gaze. “Yes?”

“Fuck yes.” You sigh as he takes possession of your mouth once again.

Easiest promise you’ve ever made.

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays.

@lyarr24

@deans-spinster-witch

@impalaslytherin

@maggiegirl17

@akshi8278

@candy-coated-misery0731

@nt-multi-fandom

@deanswaywardgirl

@slytherinlyn314

@globetrotter28

@jensensgirl

@perpetualabsurdity

@tristanrosspada-ackles

@djs8891

@muhahaha303

@kayyay1219

@emily-winchester

@recoveringpastaaddict

@maximumkillshot

@mimaria420

@sacriceria

@envyaurora95

@lacilou

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.)

@sunshineandwings86

@kazsrm67

@sexyvixen7

@alexxavicry

@nancymcl

@spalady26

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well)

@unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men

@awkward-and-indecisive

@maliburenee

@supernatural4life2022

@spn730015

@b3autyfuldisast3r

@kickingitwithkirk

@waywardbaby

@foxyjwls007

@deanwanddamons

@deandreamernp

@deanwithscissors

@myloversgone

@snowlovespie

@leigh70

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

@charred-angelwings

@hopefuldreamers-world

@mysherlock221b

@jensensgotyoudean

@stixnstripesworld

@thoughts-and-funnies

@magssteenkamp

@norman1967

@princessmisery666

@eevvvaa

@mishkatelwarriorgoddess

@deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy

@b-i-t-c-h-i-e

@twirpbunwarrior

@mysweetlittledesire

@waynes-multiverse

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@bernasaurus

@jensenslady79

@courtn92

@avanatural

@ellie-andthemachine

@this-is-me19

@roseblue373

@katbratsupernaturalwhore

@fanfic-n-tabulous

[johnbottoms]

my rating of the current list of callum turner projects I've seen is

GLUE. I love u so much murder horsegirl show I literally love u so dearly. will be doing a rewatch soon and if in the near future they for some reason decide to find and delete all archives of this show and then edit the show and release it w another actor's face superimposed on callum's body well. i would still watch it. highly recommend.

emma 2020 <33333 just an absolute favie of mine I saw this around the time it came out and I was not turnerpilled at all I had no idea he was in but . I think he does frank churchill very well despite like having 3 lines for some reason . my kind of terrible little pookie bear. darling adaption of one of my favie jane austens. not bc it is also my namesake.

masters of the air. I think we all by now know where I stand w this fucking show. jesus christ. jesus fucking christ truly. have issues w the writing decisions definitely and the script sometimes sucks but JOHN BUCKY EGAAAAANNNNNNNN u will always be famous to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I LOOOVEEEE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

mobile homes 😘. kind of a sad ass movie it made my heart hurt badly ill be real. thought it was quite good tho and I liked how deranged callum was in it . he was very silly at times and it seemed like he had a lot of fun . abusive little freak demon of a man tho that he played . :[

the last letter from your lover. sweet and kind of darling movie but ultimately it was just ok and I think the writing and cinematography was not great. he was very charming in it tho would 100% also cheat on my wretched husband w him and have a sad and upsetting decades long affair w him.

victor frankenstein. frankly an embarrassing movie. truly. like he had 3 lines total in it and was a COOOOP. AUGH. not even james mcavoy could save this movie from being bad tho abt halfway thru he was the only reason I was still watching. just goofily bad in a way that is neither fun nor entertaining.

The Only Living Boy In New York. all I can say abt this movie is it truly was one of the worst movies ive ever fucking seen. he kind of ganseyed it up a bit w the living in a shitty flat while rich and wearing glasses all the time. only way in which he ganseyed tho there is nothing else comparable. sorry

[tiredlilguy]

I’m writing from my phone because I have carpel tunnel and my hands hurt. Take these randomly assorted BSD hc’s:

(possible SB spoilers, but just the characters)

- Albatross has every piercing under the sun: like he’s got a nose ring, eyebrow piercing, snakebites… anything u can think of

- Oda wears rings 🤤, plays with them when he gets anxious (he’s also my husband)

- Chuuya is a summer child (born in the summer), so he love it when it’s hot af outside and drags his friends outside to go eat lunch with him or smth (HES HUMAN IN MY HEART STFU, I DONT WANNA HEAR IT RN)

- opposite to Chuuya, Dazai is a winter baby, but he also hates the cold

- sometimes Adam sends Chuuya random incriminated texts on his phone. It’s usually just something silly like “Hello! I hope you’re eating sugar and growing very healthy.” Or maybe a random fact like “Did you know that cows have a strong sense of smell? They can perceive smells at a distance of up to ten kilometres.” Chuuya will usually not respond back, but he scoffs and lets out a small laugh to himself before closing his phone

- Ango hates bugs, he will cry if he sees a spider sitting on his paperwork

- Oda and Ango when drunk are very enthusiastic and energetic. Oda will dance on the counter while pretending his glass is a mic. Ango will join him too- The only person that knows this side to them is Dazai

- animals love sigma for some reason. Like Disney princess style love sigma. Sigma however, hates that this happens to him, and actively avoids walking in forests or places where animals usually reside.

- Oda is a good dancer, like good… old style bar dancer. He’s quite impressive actually, and it’s attractive-

- Chuuya and Albatross both have heterochromia.

- Literally no one except for Chuuya has seen Albatross with his sunglasses off. That shit is basically glued to his face

- Verlaine is bougie as hell. Like I know he’s Mafia, but I think it’d be funny if he was… more bougie than like everyone else in the Mafia. Like he actively buys and wears expensive shit.

- Verlaine has a good hair routine.

- Doc may or may not have a plushie collection. And they may or may not all be sea animals

- Kunikida seems like he’d have an emo phase. Idk why… I just think he would.

- Despite only using one bar of soap for showering, Atsushi actually smells really nice for some reason (he smells like lavender)

- lippman is a swiftie, doc is a barb (I discussed this with one of my moots and now I can’t stop thinking about it)

- since it’s hinted is SB that Lippman would still make ppl fold at him wearing feminine clothes, I hc that he does not rly give a shit about gender or what one should/should not wear

- Chuuya has taken this tip from Lippman and has worn skirts before with his outfits

- the real reason why akutagawa dislikes mandarins (that’s canon btw) is because one time he was offered one to eat and as he was peeling it the mandarin juice got in his eye and he chopped it up into bits out of anger

- Chuuya only ate bread and soup when he was in the Sheep, since then Kouyou has introduced him to the finer foods in life, and Albatross introduced him to junk food

- Dazai used Chuuya’s shower when he was in the Mafia because he didn’t have a shower in that old ass storage container

- Oda does not pay for haircuts. He cuts his own hair, and one time he was too busy so he had to tie it up in a low pony

- Kunikida likes things that are weighted (weighted blankets, etc)

- Oda’s a little bit tanned because of jobs that have to do with being outside in the sun for long periods of time

Ok that’s all. Enjoy. I should make an Odasaku hc list because he is my absolute favorite character (next to the flags). Let me know if u want a specific bsd character hc. I will write it >:3 (also please tell me ur hc’s too. I love hc’s) I’m gonna eat lunch now.

[shakingparadigm]

DUDE ok i was a casual fan of alien stage before round six but now im like quaking in my boots, i wasn’t even thinking about a potential saving grace bc of hyuna. and like when i watched it i was so “100% ivan’s dead there’s no world where vivinos would keep him alive” and now im staying on that train bc it’s true and also i don’t want to be mourning for no reason lol

anyway it’s certain mizi and till will meet, probably when she saves his depressed ass like he keeps dreaming about, but what i think is gonna happen is that he’s gonna realize that the mizi he’s been yearning for isn’t the mizi that actually exists.

obviously it’s been hinted at bc her physical appearance has changed from the glasses wearing long haired angel till sees in round 6 after (or in the middle of, bc he wasn’t wearing the collar mute thing) getting assaulted, but also i don’t think mizi could ever consider till as more than a friend?

like idk mizi falling for really anyone else leaves a bad taste in my mouth, esp for someone who loves an idealized version of her, and i also very selfishly want my toxic yaoi to be requited even in death so till realizing he lost his real chance at partnership

my heart says till mourns a missed chance and never moves on, ivan deserves it >:(, my brain says maybe in the end mizi and till will become besties and grieve together in a new human world

or or maybe vivinos kills everyone off and like fades out into a future round of alien stage bc it’s a never ending cycle or whatever

sorry for length my brain worms have been brain worming

You know what I vibe with this. Ever since Mizi cut her hair I've been thinking about what it meant for her character (wrote a whole post about it) and how she's changed from the person the rest of the cast saw her as initially. I also don't think Mizi would see Till as anything more than a dear friend. She loves and cares for him, of course, just not in that way, and she'd be kind of disconcerted if she found out how he viewed her. It's implied that Till was always too shy to actually get close to Mizi, so it's likely that he doesn't know what she's actually like. He most likely takes her kind actions at face value and uses these bits of her to build an image in his head. An image of a perfect, flawless angel who's kindness knows no bounds. A purely gentle soul. But Mizi is not like that in actuality, of course. Nobody is. She's incredibly flawed, naive, prone to drowning in her emotion and lashes out when provoked. She's always been a lot stronger than she looks, too. I really want them to be friends, though. They deserve support and solidarity together with Hyuna once they reach an understanding. Hopefully they make it out alive!! (they so totally will not)

The series ending with everyone dead and the next season of Alien Stage beginning would be absolutely diabolical 😭 I could see that kind of thing happening since it's VIVINOS after all

[gretavanlace]

Dirty Filthy Things 2

Jake kiszka x reader

18+ only! Minors do not interact!

Warnings: graphic sexual content, unprotected sex, language, light impact play, anal play, somewhat public, anal toys, anal sex, etc. porn without out plot…ask if I care ❤️

When Jake presents you with a beautiful box, adorned with dried flowers, in lieu of the traditional bow, you’re expecting a gift, of course…

A bracelet, perhaps. Maybe a mixtape; he’s fond of creating those for you just to watch you tear up when you listen to them on the vintage record/cassette tape player he had refurbished. A keychain from a place he’s been and would now like to take you to visit. A rock he found and knew you’d love.

He presents lovely offerings. Usually unique, and unexpected, so you’re used to never knowing what you’re going to find beneath the wrapping paper. But this one? This one you hadn’t seen coming…

Lid lifted, you find a solid, clear, glass plug nestled and waiting amongst tissue paper. It’s solid when you close your fingers around it, but light enough that you could wear it comfortably…you think.

He’s watching you with an amused glint in his eye. It’s nearly childlike, the way you’re inspecting it with such surprise, and a hint of trepidation.

His voice, when it comes, is quiet…betraying how much simply watching you hold it has turned him on “Do you like it?”

“Would you like a truthful answer?” You ask, running a finger over the smooth glass.

“Always.” He nods, looping a lock of your hair around his finger idly.

“I like it very much. It’s pretty…is that weird to say?” He laughs, just a breath of a sound. “But I’m also a little afraid of it.”

“How afraid?” He’s about to weigh whatever you say heavily, you can feel it. He won’t stand for you walking into something you aren’t comfortable with just to please him.

Out of the box it comes again, with you rolling it back and forth in your palm. “Just afraid enough to make me want it even more. Will it hurt?”

He plucks it out of your hand gently and sits it aside before turning back to you, thumb and fingers clasping your chin delicately. “No, princess,” he promises, lips so close to yours his breath warms them. “It won’t hurt.”

When his tongue slips out to taste your kiss, you allow it and then turn around, suddenly impatient. Down go your panties, just low enough to give him the room he needs, and then up goes the old t shirt you’d been padding around the house in.

“What are you doing, baby?” He teases, with a sinful smile in his tone.

“Put it in.” Your request is a shaky whisper as you drop down against the cool wood of the dining room table, eagerly offering yourself up in delectable sacrifice.

“Is someone attempting to run the show?” His wrinkled, linen pants are pressed against the round swell of your ass now, just to let you feel how hard he is for you.

“No.” You arch back into him, needing more.

“No, you aren’t, are you?” His thumb has found its way into your mouth from behind. “Because you’re my good girl, aren’t you? My very best little princess who knows much, much better…”

“Mhmm…” you hum around him, sucking away as he presses his thumbprint into the flat of your tongue.

He fucks you there, bent over the table, with that very thumb slipped inside your ass, moving at a slow, half-maddening, clip that matches the drag of his cock…

But your new accessory lies ignored.

Days later, with you dolled up pretty for him in his favorite dress and a pair of heels he enjoys listening to the click of when you walk, he kisses your forehead while you toy with the ancient coin that swings about against his chest.

“You look good enough to eat.” He has chosen his words purposely, you know, to make you imagine him doing just that.

Stealing his heart away with a charmingly adorable blush, you adjust the collar of his blazer. “So do you, pretty boy.”

“M’not pretty.” He lands a light swat against your thigh. “Ruggedly handsome, yes. Intimidatingly good looking? Absolutely. Pretty?” He waits a beat and then nods. “Yes, that too, I suppose. You’re right.”

“And modest to boot.” You finger comb at his tangles, not thinking much of it when his hand slips into his pocket, until the plug is presented - an offering held up with a cocked, questioning, eyebrow.

“Tonight?” You shiver at the very thought, and he notices, because of course he does.

“Oh,” there’s that grin again. “Someone’s excited. Have you been waiting?”

“What a patient girl.” He praises when you nod up at him with doe eyes, fingers curled around his lapels.

It slips inside, slick from his gorgeous mouth, and leaves you deliciously full. A devious little secret tucked away inside you, warm and indecent. It sets your nerve endings blazing and your cunt throbbing.

When he slides your panties down around your ankles and helps you to step out of them, you’re sure you’ll soak through your dress at the restaurant. But, for some reason you’d almost welcome the stinging humiliation of weaving your way through tables with the evidence of what he’s done to you on display for all to see.

Let them stare. Let them talk. Let the women seethe with jealousy…they should. Let them want what’s yours, you don’t mind. The prize is taking you home tonight.

He fucks you that night, too. Spinning and tugging away at the plug as you whine into the pillow beneath you and beg for his cock there instead.

“Not yet, princess.” He soothes so softly after each whimper and plea. “Not yet.” His words are laced with calm and care, but you hear it there too…the wanton satisfaction that comes with listening to you beg for his cock in such a forbidden place.

He’s carried you so far, shown you so many darkened corners of yourself that you never knew existed, and he’s always anxious to guide you deeper…but all in good time, lest he frighten you away from yourself.

The very next night, you, with your soaked and fluttering cunt wrapped snug around the base of his cock, and he, stretched out beneath you, hair a tousled halo spilled out around the sheets, he holds you down firmly in his lap.

“Let me move…” you pout, nails digging dull nips of pain that he relishes, into his chest. “Let me…” you squirm in his grip. “Let me fuck you…I need, fuck, please…”

“You need what?” He tilts his head in feigned confusion. “Tell me what my sweet, sweet princess needs.”

“Need to cum…” tears are gathering in the corners of your eyes, spilling down your cheeks when you attempt to blink them away.

They blur your vision, setting everything in a dreamlike haze as you watch him lick his fingers and reach behind you.

“How about if I slide my cock out of this pretty little pussy that’s hugging and squeezing me like such a sweetheart, and slip it in right here, instead?”

He punctuates himself by nudging the tip of his finger inside, reveling in the way your eyes widen in lustful surprise.

“Fuck…” the obscenity drags out of you, soft and slow, as you try to back up into his touch.

“Yeah?” In a bit deeper he pushes.

“Yeah…” you nod urgently. Who knew you could need it this badly?

“Ask real nice, angel…” he can’t resist taunting you. Loves to coax you along, to leave you desperate and writhing for whatever he’s willing to give. “Tell me where my dirty, filthy thing wants my cock. C’mon baby, be good and tell me.”

“You know where I want it.” You pound your fist once, and then twice against his chest…a muted, bratty tantrum.

“In your mouth?” He raises his hips when you shake your head no, grinding the tip of his dick against your cervix. “Here? In your perfect cunt? Is that where you want me?”

Rocking against his touch as it sinks in a little deeper, you fix him with a babydoll-gaze he can’t deny.

“Someone isn’t fighting fair,” his free hand strokes into your hair. “That’s okay, I know what you want, and I know where you want it. You feel that?”

He begins a rhythmic push and pull that should feel wrong, but feels more right than anything ever has.

“Yes,” your head falls back, lips parted.

On and on he goes, watching you with love and fascination blazing in his eyes, though you’re too far gone to notice. But, just as you’re clawing your way to the edge, he stops…easing his fingers out as your slick walls pulse and coil around his twitching length.

“Roll over, princess,” he rasps, clearly struggling to cling to some semblance of composure, “On your knees, alright?”

You do as he says, because of course you do, you would stand outside the gates of hell and insult the devil for Jake’s amusement should he decide to drag you to hell.

You can feel him behind you…the weight of his presence, his warmth, his love -

And then you can feel him…his palms, gingerly babying your skin, his lips meandering a trail over the small of your back as he breathes you in. “Need you to relax for me, princess. Can you do that? Can you relax and breathe? So it doesn’t hurt? You gotta help me take care of you.”

You nod without hesitation, assuring him.

More kisses and laps of his silken tongue pepper your back, whispered words melting against you, bruises suckled along your spine, fingers dancing a slow waltz where you never thought you’d want them.

“Please…” you finally whine, no longer able to stand it.

“There it is.” He lifts away from you and your skin instantly craves his lips, misses them, longs for them. How you wish you could feel him everywhere, all over you, all at once.

You’re buzzing with excitement, and a touch of uncertainty…and hyper-alert, but you still somehow manage to miss him fumbling around in the bedside drawer. The cap snapping open on a bottle of lube escapes you as well, but the vibrator that is suddenly humming against you pulls you out of the clouds.

A shaky moan causes his eyes to roll back in his head, though you can’t see it. “You keep it right there, princess…make that pretty clit feel nice. Deep breaths, yeah?”

A pitiful whimper of his name is all you can call forth, but that does just fine for him.

“You remember what you say if you want to stop, babe?” There are his palms again, petting over the dimples in your lower back.

Assuring him that you do sets him in motion, and you’re met with his pillowy head drawing slick circles over you. “You clench up every time I move,” he breathes. “It’s cute. You’re so fucking gorgeous everywhere. You shouldn’t be this pretty here.”

Blushing furiously over his praise, you swirl the vibrator around, chasing down the pleasure to run from the delicious shame of it all “Stop saying things like that.”

They should sound wrong ringing in your ears, those words of his…they don’t, but they should.

“Why should I stop?” He nudges against you, but with barely there pressure. “My girl is perfect…my beautiful princess. And her ass is as pink as her cunt, and I can’t believe she’s going to let me put my cock inside her, and I’m gonna fucking tell her all about it.”

Turning to hide in the pillow, your admonishment is muffled. “Jake, shh…”

For once, he listens and moves on. “Breathe, baby…remember? You just relax and breathe.”

He can feel you soften beneath him, but he checks in anyway. “You still good, baby? Because I’d be just as happy to fuck you like I always do. Just wanna be inside you.”

“No…” your fingers dart back and are stuffed into your pussy in a blink, simultaneously giving you something to clench around and barring his entrance. “Give it to me, please. Please, Jake…please.”

Cumming right then and there, with his hand fisted around his cock, watching you fuck yourself while begging for something you seem to think you shouldn’t want…it seems like a real possibility. One he’d almost like to give in to, he’s so fucking turned on…

Instead, he begins a slow, halting voyage. Pushing in little by little as you writhe and gasp below him, vibrator still working away as you finger fuck your cunt harder, driven by the blissful, burning sting.

“It hurts…” you pant, and he almost pulls out, until you finish your thought. “It hurts so good. More…”

Your entire body is flushed, blotchy dots of pink forming up your back like a roadmap. He trails a finger along the path, hand disappearing into the dampened hair at the nape of your neck to give it a swift tug. “You like it, princess?’

“All the way…” you plead feverishly. “Fuck it in all the way.”

The way that you’ve worded it sets him wild, and he has to actively fight the urge to slam into you. The way you would scream and likely try to scramble away…fuck.

When he drives in as deeply as he possibly can, though, he’s gentle. Loves you far too much to hurt you, even if he might indulge in the power trip of it all in his head now and then.

High pitched gasps are stuttering out of you, staccato and hitched, but your fingers are moving even faster now, and he can feel you clenching violently.

“You love that, don’t you, princess? Feeling full everywhere? Fingers in your cunt, cock in your ass?” The swift crack of his hand against the swell of your hip happens before he’s even registered his need to hear the dominant snap of impact.

“Yesssyesyesyesyes…” it moans out of you, hardly words at all.

He jerks your head up until your eyes are focused warily on the headboard. “Next time, I’m gonna suction one of your cocks right there, make you suck it down dirty and sweet until you’re gagging…every single hole filled right up, nice and full.”

You tighten like a fist around your fingers and his dick as it jerks and throbs inside you. “Please..”

“Please, what?” His grip curls into a fist against your scalp.

“Cum..” you barely make a sound, but he hears you all the same.

“Yeah? Would that get my girl off? If I came right here?” He slides in as deeply as he can. “You want it where you shouldn’t?”

“I want to feel it first,” you’re begging like a whore, and he couldn’t love it more. “And I’m so close, please…”

He couldn’t stop it for anything in the world. Not now, not after listening to you confess that you want to feel him, warm and wet, inside you, before you cum.

When he lets go, it’s with an animalistic growl that flips your stomach…a dirty, addicting, tumble that makes you tremble with the insatiable need to follow straight behind him…

And you do. You follow his lead, cumming hard, crying out for him to never stop, to fuck you just like this forever, to make you feel nothing but him for the rest of your days…nothing but Jake until you draw your last breath.

Like all good and perfect things, it comes to an end, with you collapsed down into the soaked sheets, and his panting, sweating form pressing you down against the mattress.

“Fuck me, baby…” he pauses to draw in a tightened breath. “That was…god, how am I ever gonna pull out? You’re so warm and tight.”

“Stay.” You murmur, settling into the afterglow. “Just a little while.”

He nestles his face into your hair and stays, just as you’ve asked.

Taglist: @gretasintrees @greta-van-chaos @celestialfauna @s0livagant @groggyvanfleet @kiszkathecook @brokenbellz @llightmyllovee @doodle417 @seventieswhore @jake-kiszkas-smirk @weightofdreams-gvf @alisonwonderland29 @gretavanfleas @gretavangroove @sparrowofthedawn @xserenax-13 @tbagggvf @obetrolncocktails @tripthelightjaketastic @jakeslovehandles @poofyloofy @70sgroupielovr @heatmyfleet @age-of-nyahh @sammiboo162 @spicedandicedtea @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @saoirsemaeve @mywickeddivinity @dvrkblooms @paintmyhouse @tripthelightfandomtastic @tripthelight-fanfic @mckenna4 @theweightofjake @joshsmama @sammysvanfeet @rhythm-of-space @highladyofasgard @jordierama @calumspretty

[scolbert22]

For @brandedx2 on his birthday

*DING DONG*

Kevin set down the glass bowl he’d been stirring and made the perilous walk from his kitchen to the front door. He stubbed his toe on an unpacked box labeled  “BOOKS,” cursing loudly.  I’ve been here almost two months, he thought to himself as he hobbled over to the door. I really need to finish unpacking. When he answered the door, he saw his new neighbor Hank on the front porch. Hank was a tall guy in his mid-40s, He was the gym teacher and football coach at the local high school. He was also very handsome, broadly built with a handsome stoic face. There was something different though. Every time Kevin had seen the man, he’d been wearing a snug pair of Wranglers. Now, however, the handsome older man was wearing a pair of dark grey sweatpants. Kevin’s heart began to race as he suspected the reason for the change in wardrobe.

“Hey buddy,” said Hank in his deep rumbling baritone, shifting from foot to foot. He seemed a lot less confident than Kevin had ever seen him. “I, uh, I was in the neighborhood and I was just wonderin’ if you’d be willin’ to give me some advice on a...purchase...I made recently.” 

Kevin smiled warmly and stepped out of the way, inviting the bigger man inside. “Absolutely! What kind of purchase do you mean?” He loved playing dumb in these situations, forcing the straight dudes to squirm a little.

Hank cleared his throat and then sniffed. “Well, uh, it’s a long story. For a month or two, I’ve been...packin’ on a few pounds...” He adjusted his camo baseball cap, looking anywhere but Kevin. “And it is all...accumulatin’ in one spot... I guess you could say.”

“Oh? I’m not sure what you mean.” Kevin cocked his head in mock confusion. Hank’s ears were starting to turn pink. 

“Uh, well, my, uh....myasskeepsgettinbigger.” he muttered, so quietly Kevin could barely hear it. 

“What? I think I must have misheard you.” the shorter man grinned, watching the blush spread down to Hank’s neck with great enjoyment.

“I said, my...ass...keeps gettin’ bigger” He said, face burning with embarrassment. He was shifting from foot to foot again. “I can’t fit into any of my old pants anymore, or my old drawers. And I bought some replacements on the internets, and I guess I was maybe a little drunk when I did it because...” The poor man looked like he was going to have a stroke. “Well I was just wonderin’ if you could take a look and see if they’re...okay. I know that guys who are...like you...are better with that kinda stuff.” 

“Okay, well let me see the package and I’ll take a look.”

Shock flashed across Hank’s face. “The-uh, package?” 

“Yeah, the package the underwear came in?”

Kevin had never seen a person turn as red as Hank did in that moment. “Uh, I didn’t think to bring the package. I kinda, um, well I kinda wore ‘em here.” 

It took everything in Kevin not to burst out laughing, but he kept up the act. “Oh wow. Well, let’s see what we’re working with.”

Hank cleared his throat, and then turned around. He took a deep, shaky breath as he hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his sweatpants, and then lowered them. Kevin’s eyebrows went up in surprise. 

When Kevin had met Hank, his ass had been small, tight, and perky. In the short time since, it had become a giant pair of soft, fat globes that jiggled and bounced without the support of his pants. Buried between them was a black thong. Kevin grinned.

“Well, you want my professional opinion, as a gay guy?” He asked.

Hank gulped. “uh, yes please.”

“Well, I think they’re a little boring...”

Hank turned back, looking surprised. “...Boring?”

“Yeah! I mean where are the patterns? Where’s the lace?”

“Would you...like it more if they were...lacy?” Hank looked like he couldn’t believe the words he was saying.

Kevin smiled. “Absolutely! In fact, you should probably wait for my approval next time.” Hank blushed more and nodded.

It was clear that the “homemade punch” Kevin had served to all the men in the neighborhood at his housewarming barbecue was finally beginning to show results. The powder he’d bought online had promised that the effects would include a steady increase in gluteal growth and sensitivity, heightened sexual feelings for the same sex, submissive tendencies, lowered intellect...

Hank cleared his throat. “I was uh, I was wonderin’ if maybe you wanted to...touch ‘em?” He didn’t need to ask twice. Kevin’s hands were practically on his pale jiggling cheeks before the bashful redneck could finish the sentence. Hank’s deep rumbling voice climbed a few octaves as he yelped and whimpered in pleasure like he’d never felt before. He backed into Kevin, desperate for more. 

as Kevin teased the poor man with the floss of his own thong, he reached around, his hand slipping into the front pouch. His hand wrapped easily around Hank’s diminished tool. Kevin was happy to see the powder had delivered in that regard too.

“I-it’s....normally biiiigger!” Hank whined in his new bitched-out tone. That was certainly an understatement. The 7 inch club that had filled out the front of his Wranglers two months ago was now a two inch button boner. 

“Well, it’s much more manageable now.” Kevin taunted, working a finger between his new toy’s massive mounds.

 Hank’s eyes went crossed and he let out a whine so high that his voice cracked. His tiny dick erupted immediately, and he slumped back against the shorter man behind him. Kevin had to practically carry him to the sofa. Hank sat panting, red faced, trying to collect himself.

“I-I think *HUFF* somethin’s *HUFF*  happening to me!” he whined between pants, unable to articulate the transformation that had brought him here. 

“Well, you just lay there and have a deep breath and we’ll talk things through okay? I’ll make sure you have nothing to worry about.” Kevin cooed down at him like he was talking to a frightened stray dog. 

Hank looked up at him hopefully, his breath evening out. “You mean you’ll help me?”

“Of course! You just lie back and let me take care of everything.” Kevin patted him on the cheek condescendingly. ”Oh but where are my manners? You’re a guest! I just made some punch, would you care for a glass?”

[autisticempathydaemon]

Redacted Match up?

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

I always go back to Black Mambo (Glass Animals). The little harp or whatever thing in the background creeps down. And it’s just a sexy-ass song. It feels sexy. The words are sexy. 

What is your Enneagram type?

I don’t believe in personality tests ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Any of them

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

I binge watch Adam Neely, Lindsey Ellis and Sideways.  Anything about movies, music, or movie music.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?                Line up just the right sleep aid audios (mostly Redacted) at the bottom of my YouTube sleep playlist, hit play, let it run. I need it dark and silent and I need the ceiling fan on, no matter what season it is.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why?

Anne or Alice. Because of Anne of Green Gables and Alice in Wonderland.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

The David Hoodie video is probably my most-listened to. It works as comfort, sleep aid, romance. It’s a big winner.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)  I didn’t always feel this way, but: I think Vincent is really boring without Adam. And he needs to find something to do other than Lovely.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. I can recite most of It’s A Wonderful Life and The Devil Wears Prada in time with the movies.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?  I have NO romantic interest in Lasko, but I would die for him.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? If I start talking about macro politics, it’s time to go to bed.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? Any reality competition show, especially baking. It’s guilty because lots of people say “oh yeah it gives me ideas for what to make and I think I’m going to try making a chiffon cake or a genoise” or w/e and I’m like “I want to eat that. I don’t want to eat that”                 

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! I run my mouth a lot but I’m surprisingly traditional

I am loving this; I am loving the vibes here. It’s giving traditional, classic, no-nonsense, old-school romance which makes you a great match for James.

It’s the ‘not believing in personality tests’ bit. That’s James one hundred percent- not just because they're overhyped and usually selling something but because he, as a telepath, is privy to the depths and complexities of human thought and thus thinks they’re reductive. James would agree and love this about you… everything about you, actually; despite his job and situation, traditional is how he would describe his heart and desired life.

James would so love and enjoy a domestic life with you, coming home to your face and your mind. When you let him inside your head, he always hears something new to him, given he knows absolutely nothing about pop culture or music. He is more familiar with macro-politics, given his position at DUMP, so he loves hearing your sleepy ranting. James definitely misses all of that while he’s gone; maybe he brings a copy of Alice in Wonderland to read when he’s thinking of you which is, of course, all the time.

Song:

My baby here on earth/ Showed me what my heart was worth/ So, when it comes to be my turn/ Could you shine it down here for her?/ 'Cause my love is mine, all mine

I’m not quite sure what music James listens to, but Mitski feels not wrong. Though he’s an old-fashioned sort of guy, his music taste doesn’t necessarily skew old, swing, and/or classical. Mitski, to me, reads as timeless, and I think she has this quality that appeals to everyone including James. This song is also so lovely, so mournful, so romantic, I think it’s a perfect track for the two of you missing each other while he’s away.

Runner-Ups:

Damien is a runner-up for a lot of the reasons I like you with James except I like James’s stoicism for you versus Damien’s tsundere nature. Aaron, I like for you because I can clearly imagine the two of you watching “The Devil Wears Prada” and you pointing at Miranda, telling Aaron “that’s you.” That tickles me pink; he’d pretend to hate that but would love it so much.

note: for you my adored you know who you are and I know who you are and I hope I made you consider smiling today I love you

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[avaitor]

Avi’s HC’s: Kingsman Edition

Since I always have a shitload of silly lil ideas and HC’s bubbling in this empty bone cavern, I have decided to share them with you uninterested folks

Anyways, here are some HC’s for my bbg, James Spencer, also known as Lancelot, who had very little screentime

⁍⁍ He cannot cook. I love and adore him, but he simply cannot.

⁍⁍ Pranks. No one is safe, not even Arthur. He’s only still an agent because he is (was) so good at his job.

⁍⁍ Roxy’s uncle. The man spoils her rotten.

⁍⁍ Pure, unchained theater kid energy. He has a flair for the dramatic, and sometimes injects old-fashioned phrases into conversations.

⁍⁍ Absolutely loves dogs, never had to go through the dog test and has zero knowledge of its existence. Percival doesn’t have the heart to tell him.

⁍⁍ Prefers not to wear his glasses because “he doesn’t need them”. Also thinks that they negatively affect his “devilishly good looks.”

⁍⁍ This man is a dork and kind of a dumbass but he’s my skrunkly. My bbg. Perhaps even my funky lil guy (even though this man is much taller than my 5′1 ass.)

⁍⁍ Cares very much about his looks, one of the peacocks of the agency. On par with Harry when it comes to preening.

⁍⁍ He has the worst fashion sense out of all of the Kingsman agents, and he’s kinda extra. A few times he has almost gone on missions while wearing the most god-awful ties.

⁍⁍ Speaking of missions, he’s a bit of a wild card. He likes flashy entrances, fire, and explosions. There are a few times where he’s managed to level entire buildings somehow. 2nd major cause of poor Merlin’s hair loss.

⁍⁍ He also believes that Lee should have been Lancelot, and that he was only picked because he was the one who lived, the runner-up. Perhaps he suffers from a bit of survivor’s guilt.

⁍⁍ No matter how much he tries, he cannot/is afraid of taking things seriously. His first instinct is to joke or lighten the mood, or even dismiss what is mentioned because he is afraid. He’s so used to being the “fun” one, and just doesn’t know how to handle anything else.

⁍⁍ Very physically affectionate, in contrast to Percival. This man would give the best hugs.

⁍⁍ He’s great with kids, but sucks at babysitting because he usually goes along with shenanigans.

⁍⁍ Gets along well with Harry, and probably would’ve gotten along with Eggsy if it hadn’t been for his untimely demise.

⁍⁍ He’s like a golden retriever personified, and he hates sitting for long periods of time.

Sorta au-ish stuff under the cut

⁍⁍ He did not die, I am in complete denial, he somehow avoided death and comes back after Golden Circle. Maybe they find him while on another mission, or maybe he just shows up, I don’t know.

⁍⁍ Very, very out of the loop, but once he meets Eggsy, the two are certainly a force to be reckoned with.

⁍⁍ Tearful reunion with Roxy, who is also alive because I said so, maybe he’s a bit panicked because she almost died.

⁍⁍ A bit stunned that Arthur (Chester)  is dead, but oh well.

⁍⁍ Percilot. He’s lowkey had it bad for Percival for a while, but after he comes back boom it’s confession time, they get together, and they’re both happy.

⁍⁍ He’s so sweet with Perci and they love each other very much. Again, he’s such a dork I adore him sm.

[cinemastyles-blog]

Summary: This was a request by @/madxxstyles on Wattpad - “can you also do a plus size y/n who meets him with smut??? It would be awesome if she was confident!”

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, mentions of alcohol, oral (m receiving), praise kink, choking, slight fluff at end

Master

∘₊✧── 𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎 ──✧₊∘

The music starts and I shake my hands as I take a deep breathe in slowly exhale. I tilt my head down and smile as it’s now my turn to walk out.

The crowd gasps as if being a plus size model isn’t something you’d see everyday now.

I fight back to roll my eyes and keep smiling. The dress I’m wearing flows behind me perfectly as I round the end of the stage.

I never once messed up on the runway, but today, I about face planted because his eyes made my heart skip a beat.

He sat in the front row, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands, interlocked together as he watched me walk.

My eyes met his and I blew him a kiss as I walked towards him. He brings one hand up to his chin and gives me the worlds brightest smile. I smile and wave to him as I walk by and everyone around him starts to rag on him about it.

“Outfit change. Hurry y/n. The crowd loves you.” The designer says clapping her hands together.

“Really?” I stand still as my team unzips my dress.

She nods, “Oh yes. You’re killing it today.”

I raise my eyebrows in surprise, I thought the crowd really didn’t like me.

“Does anyone know who that boy in the front row on the left side of the stage is? He’s very handsome.” I ask as I slip my next outfit on.

“The one with the fancy hair and tattoos?” Melanie says with a smirk, “That’s Harry Styles.”

I purse my lips slightly, “That name sounds super familiar.”

She nods and stands up, “Yeah he was in that big boy band.”

“Right, okay. Yeah.” I spin so she can fix my dress, “Is he single?”

“I think so.” She steps infront of me, “Go get ‘em tiger.” She winks and pats my cheeks before walking me over to the entrance of the stage.

I smile and walk out, the crowd clapping for me. I wave as I strut and when I get over to Harry again, I blow him a double kiss and wink at him.

“She’s into you, mate!”

I stop at the beginning of the runway and give everyone a last look before I turn and exit.

“Fucking brilliant!” The designer says walking up to me and hugging me, “Ugh, I could kiss you.” She tilts her head like she’s thinking about it before laughing, “No I’ll just buy you a drink after this.”

——

“Here’s to y/n for showing those stupid ass reporters that no matter who you are or what you look like, you can be an absolute supermodel!” (And that’s true, every single one of you is absolutely beautiful and you deserve to do whatever makes you happy &lt;;3)

I raise my glass and smile as I do a little dance to the music, “That’s right.” I take a sip of my drink and lean back, looking around the club.

Harry is standing at the bar, looking directly at me. He raises his drink and smirks at me. I bite my lip and look at Melanie, “I’m going to the bar. Harry’s here.”

She winks, “See you tomorrow.”

I smile and grab my bag as I walk over to meet Harry, “Hello.”

He smiles and holds out his hand, “Hi.”

I place my hand in his and he brings my hand up to his lips and places a gentle kiss on my knuckles, “I liked your walks today, a lot actually.”

“I’m glad you did.” I smile and take the drink he hands me, “I thought it was going to be worse than it actually was.”

“Why?” He asks sipping on his drink, “You looked fantastic.”

I shrug and sip my drink, “With my body shape, it’s hard because I don’t fit the ‘perfect model’ criteria, which is absolutely fucking stupid.”

He smiles and nods, “Yeah, no I agree. One hundred percent with you. The way society poisons the minds of young women, it’s insane because you are beyond beautiful. I have to say.”

I smile and tilt my head, “You’re quite beautiful yourself, Harry.”

“So you know who I am.” He smirks and shakes his head. I smile and reach out to touch his arm, “I asked around because you about made me trip on the run way.”

“Oh did I?” He raises his eyebrows and laughs into his glass. I smile and nod, “Oh yeah. You looked so good sitting there..” my eyes slowly move up his body to his eyes, “Watching me.”

He nods and sets his empty glass down, “Can’t deny that.” I bit my lip, “Wanna get out of here?” I lean in close to him, “You can watch me doother things.”

Harry immediately grabs my hand and leads me out of the club. As soon as we’re outside, he has my back pressed against the brick and his face is inches away from mine.

“Kiss me.” I whisper as I grab his neck, closing the space between us. He moans lowly as the touch and pushes his hips into me, I can feel his cock growing harder by the second.

“We need to get out of here.” He mumbles before pulling me with him. He opens the door of, what I assume, is his car and I get in. He shuts it with a slam and jogs around to the drivers side. He lets out a sigh and turns his head to look at me, “Your place or mine?”

“Yours is perfectly fine.”

And with that he starts the car and drives us to his place.

——

The car ride there was full of sexual tension so thick you could cut it with a knife and serve it on a plate.

I just know this is going to be great.

“Okay.” He says pulling the keys, “Ready?”

I bite my lip and nod, “Oh yeah.” He smiles and gets out, quickly making his way around to my side. He opens the door and I step out. He lays a hand on the small of my back as we walk up to his door.

He fumbles with his keys to unlock the door and the alcohol that I’ve been sitting with for so long finally hits me and I need him.

I press my chest against his back and run my hands around to his chest, holding myself against him. He lays one hand over mine and he finally opens the door.

He walks in, still with me clinging to him.

“You alright?” He asks with a slight chuckle. I giggle, “Tipsy.” he spins around in my arms and cups my cheeks, his tongue slipping quickly between my lips.

I moan into his mouth and he pulls me closer, his hands resting on my hips, “I want to see that beautiful body as you ride me.”

His words send a shiver down my spine and I smile, “Please.” He grabs my hand and walks me to his bedroom. He sits down on the end of the bed and takes his shirt off, “Model for me. Do whatever it is you do. I just want to watch you.”

I slip off my heels and slide my hands up my legs, keeping my eyes on him. His bottom lip is brought between his teeth and held with a hard bite.

I slowly work at taking my clothes off, first my shirt then my pants.

Harry undoes his pants and I tilt my head, “I want to see how hard I’m making you.”

He nods and sheds his pants and underwear, sitting there naked with a throbbing cock. I get on my knees and slowly take my bra off, “Fuck, Harry.”

He brings a hand up to stroke himself but I quickly stop him, “Ah. No baby.” He pouts slightly and tilts his head to watch me. I hook my fingers in the skinny strap of my panties and slowly work them down my thighs.

Harry let’s out a groan and moves his hips around, desperate for touch.

I crawl over to him and place my hands on his knees, “Can I?” His head nods fast and his hips moves towards me. A sharp gasp leaves his lips as I suck on the head of his cock. I slide my hands up his thighs and squeeze slightly as I work my way down him.

“Fuck, fu-“ he groans and places a hand on the back of my head, “you’re doing such a good job, baby.” I bob my head, getting into a good rhythm before leaning back, “I want to feel you inside of me.”

He moves back up onto the bed more. I stand up and watch as he reaches over into his nightstand to grab a condom before laying back down. He rolls it on and nods for me to come up.

I crawl up and position myself over him. He lays his hands on my thighs and rubs his fingers in circles. His eyes follow my hand down and his lips part when I grab his cock.

I bite my lip as I sink down onto him, my moans escape and I tilt my head as I look at him, “You feel so good.” His grip tightens on my thighs as I rest down, “So fucking good Harry.”

He nods, “Mm.” He tilts his head back and groans as I start to move my hips. Slowly at first then into a rhythm that suites us both.

I gasp and lay my hands on his stomach as I bounce on his cock.

“Fuck, that’s it baby. Good girl.” He moans, “Use my cock to pleasure that pussy.”

I moan at his words, the feeling of my orgasm coming on fast, “Shit.” I gasp rocking my hips slowly, “Fuck.”

“So fucking sexy.” Harry mumbles as he grasps as my skin, “Cum all over this cock as many times as you want to, sweetheart.”

I continue to fuck myself on his cock, my legs starting to shake the more I bounce. Harry legs his legs up, giving me his knees to use as leverage.

He watches me in amazement, “Shit.” He moans out of breathe, “I want to cum so bad.” He pulls me down and wraps his hand around my throat, “Your pussy is so wet, baby. Do you hear how wet you are?”

I moan as the grip on his neck gets tighter, “Such a good girl, taking my cock like this.” His lips crash onto mine and he legs go of my neck, only to replace my neck with my hair.

He tilts my head and his lips attach to my skin, definitely leaving a mark for them to cover in the morning.

I moan and dig my nails into his chest, “H-Harry.” I whimper as I clench around him again, cuming on his cock all over again.

“Fuck, baby.” He groans and bucks his hips up to meet mine, “You got another one in ya? I’ll wait for you, sweetheart.”

I moan and move his hand back to my throat.

He smiles and squeezes, “You like it when I choke you, huh? Such a nasty little slut for me aren’t you?”

I nod.

“Aren’t you?” He repeats but a tad bit louder.

“y-yes.” I moan out, “Yes!”

“That’s it, sweetheart.” His chuckle turns into a moan, “Come on baby, one more time. You can do it.”

Harry pushes me back so I’m sitting up again and reaches down to rub circles onto my clit, “Cum for me, love. I know you can do it.”

My eyes roll back and I let out a loud moan as my body starts to shake. My legs go weak and I fall into Harry’s chest, breathing fast. He wraps an arm around me and squeezes my thigh with the other hand, “Fuck. Fuck.”

I feel his cock twitch inside of me before it slowly starts to grow soft.

I roll off of him and lay there for a moment. He sits up, I assume to throw the condom away and he lays back and faces me, “You’re not a nasty little slut, by the way.. that was ju-“

I cut him off, “I liked it.”

“Yeah?” He asks with a slight eyebrow raise, “Good. Good.” He moves around and gets the blankets over us, “You have plans tomorrow?” He asks as he stretches his arm out for me to come lay on him.

“Yeah, I have a shoot in the morning.”

I can feel him smile, “Want to come over after?”

——

Thank you for the request. If anyone has any other ideas please send them my way!  

Tag list: @daddybuckethat @hsonlyangelxo @harrysluvv @tbsloneely @haroldsbabymama @victoria-styles

If you would like to be added to the tag list click here Tag List Doc

[prosciuttulipa]

Hey, hey, nice talking to you. If the slots are still open, could I ask for a matchup? It's totally fine if not tho, don't feel pressured 😊

For JJBA, Part 5. But please no Diavolo 🤢 I don't mind their gender tho.

Personality: I'm a introvert but not necessarily shy. Actually, I'm pretty chaotic and carefree. You could say I'm a rule breaker, I just do whatever I want. People call me wild but I would say I'm just free lol.

I might have a careless behavior, but I do try my outmost to be kind. Just because I'm intimidating, it doesn't mean I have to be outright mean, right?

I also am heavily independent, I think I might actually have a stroke if I ask anyone for help, I just don't like feeling vulnerable lol.

I would say my good qualities are that I'm pretty pacient and open minded. I just don't get angry and don't judge people at all.

My bad qualities are that I might be too nonchalant about everything and have a tendency to be aloof. Like, I don't take most things seriously, it might prevent me from having outbursts but it also makes me look indifferent.

Likes: I really like cats, cold weather and spooky stories, horror movies. I love halloween and visiting "haunted" places.

Dislikes: I'm really afraid of dogs for no reason and hate hot weather. I also dislike spicy food.

Hobbies: My main hobby is deadass spending money, it's so fun buying random things. I might have a spending problem but at least that's my own money, right?

I mean, that's my job, but I like acting. It's always fun performing and decorating lines, it's like living an alternative life.

When I'm free, I like reading novels and mangás. My favorites one are those of fantasy genre. I just love all that magic shit.

Love Language: Since I like buying things, Gift Giving is naturally how I show love. I like buying them clothes, gifts and paying for the meal.

Quality Time is good too. Normally I value my own time alone but when I actually want to spend it with someone else?? You'll know I'm hooked.

Green Flag/Deal Breaker: I like people who are naturally kind and actually know how to show appreciation. That's something I struggle with and I think that would be something they could help me with.

On the other side, I dislike people who are mean for no reason. Like, you should just chill?? Why are being a pain in the ass lol.

Appearance: I'm a pretty tall girl with pale skin, long curly hair and brown eyes. I need to use glasses but I don't like it, so I just walk around blind.

I only wear black clothes, a rock ish style, kind mixed with goth.

About that choice you were speaking about, I will choose 3 songs if that's not a bother.

That's all, thank you for reading until here. 💐

Congratulations! You have been matched with...

Risotto Nero

Another goth couple matchup, but this time any assumptions people make are not far off the mark. Broody, intimidating, and an inclination to ignore the status quo, you and Risotto are not for the faint of heart (and yes, you two absolutely take pride in that).

Although aesthetically similar, you two balance each other out in small ways. Risotto's job requires precision, but he sees it as a way to protect your right to be wild; it's a privilege he's long lost, and he doesn't want it to be taken away from you too. On the other hand, your efforts to be kind and nonjudgmental despite your chaotic nature soothe his general pessimism towards humanity. As an assassin, he lives in a world where you either hurt or get hurt, with trust being a fool's game—to see someone who values their freedom but does not use it as an excuse to harm others is a rarity to him. Rather than forcing you to be vulnerable, Risotto softens your independence by being a quiet source of strength. He doesn't bring attention to the ways he offers support, and lets his actions speak for themselves. His hope is that you never feel like you have to ask for his help, because the fact that you have it will already be ingrained into your existence.

It's well known that Risotto does not make a lot from his job, so he is frugal with his money. He's shocked (and a little embarrassed) when you offer to buy him things so frequently, but he always shows his thanks with the softness in his gaze. In turn, he indulges your love for quality time, going wherever you want him to go. He finds it amusing when you drag him to watch horror movies or read spooky stories; it takes a lot to spook him, and chances are that he makes it scarier for you by offering his take on how he'd kill off a character.

Dates with Risotto can range from silently chilling at home to exploring abandoned haunts. However, he has a major soft spot for cat cafes. They're so different to his day to day life, wholesome and sweet—and as he watches you play with the cats, he can pretend for a moment that he's just living a normal life with you.

The Matchmaker's Gift:

Still waters run deep, and such are Risotto's sentiments. This song perfectly encapsulates his affection for you, intense and protective.

Another Hozier song (I can't help it, Risotto is so Hozier-coded). In his eyes, you seem too sweet for him, but he'll be damned to let you go.

This song reminds Risotto of your devil-may-care attitude towards life. It's a song full of rockstar charm, a trait he associates with you.

[kitamars]

hope you don't mind me sending in another ask so soon but i always find this kinda stuff interesting- now that you've survived two big serious arcs how would you rank the main cast in terms of like. favs & stuff?

don't apologise for the asks at all!! i love answering them and rambling about my thoughts so actually thank YOU for giving me a viable outlet haha

so I had to pull out my notes app to draft this one bc i can't do things simply apparently. i can't rank characters for shit so I'm just gonna rate the main ones (at least to me) out of ten and that's that lol, so onward beyond the cut!

Gintoki: I'm in love with him. 10/10.

He's captivated me with his dead fish eyes and pathetic charm, the way he subverts the general shonen protag archetype really works for me (bc i tend to get annoyed with the genre every now and then) but other than that he's such an interesting character on his own that I cannot get into for fear of rambling too much but yeah. I like him a lot. I might cry about someday in the tags of some art or whatever

(also beam saber arc is UNDERRATED (to me) and its very much overshadowed by everything before and after it but I DON'T CARE it has some of my favourite gin character bits this is my propaganda i just felt like i had to put this here THANKS)

Shinpachi: the human-wearing-glasses gag is absolutely hilarious and I hope it never stops. 8/10.

I love shinpachi a lot I promise, i love how dedicated he is to the straight man role and also the times when he's not. Honestly he could have very easily annoyed me after a bit, but he's genuinely just so loveable and a lot of his charm just comes from his VA's delivery, I've never heard anyone else able to convey the emotional range that I've heard from shinpachi in this anime fnsnjrjgjs

I do think he needs more screentime though (watch beam saber arc),,,kagura tends to get a lot of the spotlight (which I'm not mad about) but he also needs some love!! he's just some guy yk gotta give some appreciation!!

Kagura: queen of kabukicho and the queen of my heart. 10/10.

SHE IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING TO ME. i don't have words to express how much I love her, she's one of my all time favorites ever. She's just doing her thing, eating gin-san out of house and home and kicking ass while she's at it and she's so valid for that.

A big part of why I like her is also just her relationship with the yorozuya. the amount of times I've felt like exploding when I see her and gin or shinpachi just interacting in the background of a scene or something similar is impossible to count. She's my little mimi and she deserves literally the world

(Also there's this one compilation of her singing on YouTube and i listen to it RELIGIOUSLY kugimiya rie is a blessing for this character for real it's insane)

Sadaharu interlude: Big ball of fluff/10 (he's adorable)

Hijikata: this man makes me feel a similar range of emotions I feel cramming the night before a final, if not more. 10/10.

He drives me NUTS. you know me, i love my dark-haired chainsmoking men with issues, and he's just chock full of them, it's like a dream come true. Every arc that's focused on him has been absolutely incredible, and even on his own he's such an interesting and funny character. Fully biased towards his VA btw, i don't think anyone else could voice him as effectively, the delivery is always top notch.

His dynamic with the rest of the shinsengumi is honestly one of my favourites, he's got so much range as a serious and gag character, especially when the plot decides to chuck his coolness out the window with that little mayonnaise addiction of his (now everytime I put mayonnaise on anything at all i give myself a dirty look, idk why).

Also i should mention that tosshi was one of the only things that made my watching experience truly difficult. I'd just cringe out of existence everytime he opened his mouth it was. An experience. I still love him very much. Too much maybe.

Sougo: sadism has never looked more fun. 9/10.

I don't think I really have much to say about him? he's genuinely a really fun character, and his endless quests to smear hijikata across the asphalt is always the highlight of any viewing experience. i loved him regardless, but the mitsuba and farewell shinsengumi arcs gave him that extra bit of depth that really solidified him as a fav hehe

YOU DONT GET CHARACTERS LIKE HIM VERY OFTEN AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

kondo: gorilla gorilla/10 (9/10)

thi guy is just the fucking funniest. he's one of the perfect examples of how gintama does characterisation through comedy because by introducing him with all his hilarious gags, you start to care a lot more about him when things actually get serious. Plus the joke never really gets old with him, if he shows up in an episode I know I'm about to have a great time.

but as a serious character as well he's just so good. Him being the glue of the shinsengumi is incredible and sometimes in the plot (crisis and farewell arcs) you can see exactly what it is in this man that makes people want to follow him to the ends of the earth, he is just a good person and I love him for that.

also he's the reason i realised I have not grown out of my 14 year old dick joke phase so there's that

Otose: gintoki's overdue rent/10 (9/10)

I enjoy her so much actually, she's already incredibly fun, but whenever they show more background to gintoki and her's relationship, all of a sudden i am in a puddle of tears on the floor, it's one of the most important things ever to me, the foster parent trope is my weak point.

evidently, kabukicho four devas was my kryptonite (in a really really good way)

Catherine: the heavy accent is pretty funny. 7/10.

I don't really have strong feelings about her tbh, she's alright and funny enough, that's pretty much all I can say

Tama: total number of her leukocytes/10 (9/10)

I LIKE TAMA SOOOOO MUCH SHES SO SWEET AND KIND AND ADORABLE. all of the tama centric arcs have been really fun and each episode involving her is so nice. Finding out she was the time traveller in the bfy movie was such a great twist but immediately made sense bc OF COURSE she would go that far for her very first friends!!!!! i love her innocence so dearly and the way she simply just wants to help others, also otose seeing her as a daughter makes me so emotional

Hasegawa: the madaodog madaonaire episode made me choke at the speed at which I got that reference. 8/10.

Incredibly funny character, the fact that he cannot win a single W is both hilarious but also a bit sad and pathetic, but he's authentic to himself regardless.

He also ruined my later attempts at trying to watch NGE

Otae: the price of one dom peri/10 (8/10)

I love her SOOOOO much she's so entertaining...again I don't have much to say but it's not really in a bad way, i just like her a lot and that's mostly it hehe

Kyubei: otae love/10 (9/10)

as a nb person I have a huge bias towards kyubei, their struggle to figure out where they stand in the binary is pretty relatable, and while I can say that you don't always see a character like that in media who is also hopelessly in love with a woman (so real for that though) i can also admit that this show isn't the best handling of it all, but honestly it's a very "take what I can get situation" so I try not to be too bothered, dekobokko was a bit strange but the ending for kyubei is better than most other instances I've seen, even if it doesn't stay consistent in the series

Also where is jugem jugem? i miss that little bastard so much that arc was so good

Tsukuyo: where does she stash all that kunai. 9/10.

TSUKUYO IS MY WIFE AND GINTOKI NEEDS TO MOVE OVER BC I WANT TO KISS HER. thank you

no but seriously she's a really fun character, and I love everything about her and yoshiwara and her relationship with hinowa and seita and he hyakka and ACK. yoshiwara in flames and the red spider arcs were really good for her, and her slightly confused air at most times is so charming, i love her muah

Sacchan: uhhhhhh huh. 7/10.

I'm gonna be honest, she's one of the only characters I really didn't like since she was introduced, i just found her so incredibly annoying all the time. But then came shogun assassination and suddenly I could stand her a lot more when her personality didn't revolve around gin-san's massive d– (but like. I hate that I can relate to her)

also I don't know where her strange friendship with tsukuyo came from but I actually genuinely like it a lot..........sillies with sharp knives, what could possibly go wrong?

Okay I'm running out of steam here honestly so if I've missed anyone (I'm very sure I have) feel free to ask in replies and I'll tell you what i think jgjekkfkd

this is terrible. Everyone is a main character in my eyes

EDIT: I MISSED THE REST OF THE JOUI 4. I WILL DISEMBOWEL MYSELF. BUT FOR NOW HAVE A LIGHTNING ROUND

katsura: 10/10.

One of my all time favourite characters ever, literal definition of head empty no thoughts, he is so stupid and I want to kiss him passionately under the moonlight

Sakamoto: 10(00000)/10

He is my everything. He needs more screentime. I'm begging on my knees. He is the perfect man.

Takasugi: 9/10

He's great. Shogun assassination made me cry over him. I'm forever sad about him now he was so mochi.....and then the trauma.............ue

Anyways now I think I'm done. time to atone

[coridallasmultipass]

HOMESTUCK FANTROLL TROLLSONA REDRAW!!!! 12 YEARS LATER, 12 YEARS OLDER (What an absolute glow up.) ((First of all, let's get this out of the way: CRINGE SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE ASS MOTHERFUCKER. Ahem.)) So this is Cori Galing (lol my name is Cori Pagaling, but I needed to shorten the last name). He used to be a girl, but that didn't work out. He's a guy now. It happens. People grow up. On the hemospectrum he falls into the jade blood category, but his blood type is a rare one that luminesces in the dark. He is a rainbowdrinker. (He can quit any time, he just doesn't want to. It's definitely not becoming a problem for him.) One aspect of being a luminescent jade blood is that he himself is mildly toxic, and immune to typical poison. It's probably a genetic mutation from chronic jade blood rainbowdrinker syndrome that causes luminescent bloods to pop up from time to time. Luminescent bloods are exempt from drone collection, as they have toxic bodily fluids which could spoil an entire batch. Instead, they are required to regularly donate blood samples to be formulated and concentrated into poison on behalf of Her Imperious Condescension's royal army. This results in Cori having chronic anemia, and in turn, fuels his rainbowdrinking tendencies. On a small scale, swapping spit would produce a tingling sensation. On a larger scale, if a regular rainbowdrinker dropped the ball on him, they would get a mouthful of irritant that would have them suffocating before draining him. It's almost as if the neon green was a warning sign to predators. (He wonders, dreamily, of meeting his Prince Charming in a fellow luminescent blood, where they can both drink from each other.) Cori whole-heartedly believes in the power of necromancy, but it's actually just him prematurely realizing his powers as a Prince Of Heart that allow him to rip apart the souls of the deceased, or nearly deceased, to be further weaponized against his next adversary, not unlike some kind of Troll Shang Tsung. His Strife Specibus of choice is Scissorkind, because it makes it easier to remove a particularly gristly soul from a body. He has special King Snake Ouroboros Scissors, a weapon suited for one with a passion for snakes, of which he is guilty. Upon being chosen by his lusus (a snake, because he's a lusus' boy), he was also given a completely useless Specibus of Heartkind, which basically means he is able to extract someone's heart and then throw it as some kind of projectile weapon. He thinks it's useless, but is unable to unequip it. (He doesn't realise that the 'heart' refers to souls, which is why he's been able to weaponize the souls he takes. He just knows that necromancy is real, it has to be.) His handle is mordacensSerpens, or literally biting snake in Earth Latin, which is the universal language of all respectable necromancers. Hissss typing quirk issss a bite sssserpentine in nature, whisspering like ssssome kind of ghosstly incantation. He wears rose-tinted glasses because he feels a little broken for having four unfilled quadrants, but he just can't help himself when things get a little spicy or intimate. One moment he's getting a little taste of blood, and the next thing you know there's a fresh body in front of him. He makes sure to collect their soul, so they can be together forever, anyway. He likes to think it's romantic, but he can feel the souls inside of him waging a quadrant war between each other. It makes it easier to blast them as a weapon when they're all charged up like that, anyway, he figures.

[tonberry-yoda]

Hey again! (Omg, I'm already bugging you again) I love that you're doing matchups at the Valentine's Day event and I'm so excited! You nailed it when you matched me with the man I love (Jotaro) but I was curious to know which other character I could match with in JJBA🙈

Oh, and it's here the link for my matchup: https://at.tumblr.com/strawmariee/hello-i-see-your-requests-are-closed-but-i-hope/aqy86643wxwm

My Hobbies: Well, I really like listening to music (I can spend the whole afternoon doing that, my poor ears lol), drawing, writing or reading fanfics or whatever, watching movies or series, exercising (I'm trying) and dancing.

My Appearence: Well, I'm a short girl (1.57cm/5'2), I have medium, wavy and dark blonde hair. I have green eyes, I'm thin and I'm also very white (Actually, in the sun I look like Edward Cullen). And I also have to wear glasses because without them I'm almost blind🥲

What I want out of a relationship: I want my boyfriend to treat me like a princess, you know? That he respects me, gives me my space when I need it and that he shows how much he loves me because I am a very insecure person🥲. I would like us to spend time talking about what we have in common and that when he has a problem he would run to me so I can comfort him🥺. And also that he laugh at my jokes because I love to tell them!

Dream First Date: Wow, whenever I think of a first date I always imagine myself in a movie theater with him. He would choose a horror movie on purpose just to scare me and hug him. And then he would take me to the beach where there would be a picnic waiting for us! Like that:

And I'm so excited to read everything you'll write! I'm sure it will be perfect as always!!😍

notes 💌: hi love :) you're the first person in this wonderful event, so happy valentine's day, dear! i am super honored to host an event like this, so thank you for supporting me and wanting a matchup! in this event i am playing cupid and super excited to match you up with someone new. I know I matched you with Jotaro, but I think I found a new man that fits you just as well <3

the character Cupid chooses for you this Valentine's Day is...

GYRO ZEPPELI!!

I know, I know, he's a lot different than Jotaro, that's for sure

but hear me out

the man is tall

really tall

so he will compare heights and call you short as a joke

he thinks it's cute though

he loves your eyes

as a fellow green eyed human being, he cant help but stare into yours all the time

he will braid your hair

yes

(please braid his too)

this man will absolutely treat you like a princess

it's kind of his thing

like i feel like thats how he wants a relationship to be

after he met johnny, gyro has learned to respect everyone, so you dont have to worry one bit about him respecting you or giving you space, because he is already prepared to help you with what you need

he is your #1 hype man

he calls you beautiful all the time and really shows that he loves you with all of his heart and soul

he loves talking to you, so expect a lot of long conversations with this man that last for far too long but are too much fun

and yes, to know that you are his hype girl makes his heart swell

he loves that you are there for him as much as he is for you

you two tell way too many stupid jokes and end up laughing for hours

and this is why i thought he was perfect. you have a lot in common, but those differences are what make you fit too :)

💌How would he ask you to be his valentine???

you would just be all comfortable at home chillin and mans comes in with a GIANT ASS TEDDY BEAR trying to squeeze its fluffy butt through the door, and a big bouquet of roses. he would give you his iconic smile and set all of the silly little valentine's trinkets on the table in front of you. "will you be my valentine?" he asks, a stupid grin slapped onto his lips. you giggle and run over to hug him nearly knocking him over. "of course i will, dummy."

💌 Valentine's Day Date

After gyro hands you an insane amount of valentine's day gifts, he leans down and presses a kiss onto your lips. "so, what do you want to do for the special day?" he asked, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. "I think we should-" "A horror movie sounds great." Gyro winked at you and you couldn't help but burst out into laugher. "Very romantic, Zeppeli." You joked, putting your hand lovingly onto your chest. "Isn't it?" Gyro handed you tickets that he had already purchased weeks ago. "Let's not be late, yeah?" You just smiled and latched onto his arm, letting him lead you to the movie theater. The movie wasn't long, but it sure as hell was scary. You knew why he chose it, so you could cling onto him whenever you got scared, but you left the movie theater with wide eyes. "I didn't mean for it to scare you that bad, darlin." Gyro gave you a concerned look and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and pressed a kiss onto the lobe. "It wasn't that bad," you giggled, clutching onto his arm. "I mean, it was a good movie and I got you hug you the whole time, but I don't think I want to see a horror movie for a while." Gyro giggled at you and you two went for a short walk. You had no clue where the two of you were headed, but he sure did. "What's this?" You asked as he led you onto the beach. "Oh, nothin." Gyro said in a singsongy voice before looking down at a fully set up picnic. "Oh? What's this? A romantic picnic on the beach for two?!" You stared at it for a second and looked up at Gyro with a huge smile. "Gyro! I love it! How the heck did this get here?" "Johnny." Gyro laughed. "He helped me get it all set up." You quickly sat on the picnic blanket and watched the sunset while Gyro set up both of your dinners. You clanged a glass to his and pressed a kiss onto his cheek. "Happy Valentine's Day, love." <3

~~~~~

mystery date event rules | pinned post @tonberry-yoda