#also in case it needed to be said: I DO NOT HATE JEWISH PEOPLE OH MY GOD PLEASE DONT GET ANTISEMITIC ON THIS POST

[bickbickbarnes]

Hello! I'm a black woman and I just wanted to say thank you to the large number of Jews who showed up for Harris. It made me feel a little less alone and a little less sad. I also wanted to say i'm sorry about the absolute nightmare levels of antisemitic bullshit going on. I don't understand how these people sat through history classes, saw the horrors that were enacted upon Jewish people time and time again, and think what they were doing is ok.

Oh god, I feel weird about being thanked for voting in like. A bare minimum of morality. And I really really don’t want what I said prior to sound like I want anyone- let alone black women- to owe/give me any thanks for that. I don’t think it’s owed. We’re all voting for our- collective- survival and benefit.

When I talk about being hopeful that other groups, especially the black creators I see talking about it, notice that Jews showed up- I really mean the second half of what you said. We shouldn’t be alone. We shouldn’t feel alone. We’ve been connected in the states since the civil rights movement (and in many cases, before- they were exiling Jews from the south prior to the civil war). The same groups hate both of us. We don’t need to have friction with eachother.

And while I could write an essay about racism in the Jewish community and antisemitism in the black community- it….really would be an essay.

So to sum up: thank you for recognizing antisemitism. Thank you for noticing it’s rising. Thanks for listening to us. Thank you for either knowing Zionism wasn’t the propagandized pure evil it was made out to be this year- or for taking a minute and rethinking that. Thanks.

[sugarcoatednightshade]

Israels actions against Palestine make me sick to my stomach. Every time I look at the news I see some new horror they are committing, and see how they are justifying the inexcusable, I feel sick to my stomach with rage. But now, in the heart of Ramadan, the word angry feels too small for the fire I feel in my chest.

Palestine will not be able to properly celebrate Ramadan this year. Trying to explain the situation to people who have never interacted with the community is difficult. Even when thinking to myself, I have the urge to compare it to what I know. "Imagine if there was no Christmas." "Imagine if someone took away Easter." "Imagine there was no food on Thanksgiving."

But Ramadan is not any of those things. The fact that there is no Ramadan in Palestine should be enough to make you angry.

I've been living in a muslim country for six months now. Ramadan is not nearly as festive as Eid was, but its presence is unmistakable. You can taste the joy in the air. Children here get out of school early this month. There is a school across from my home; I hear their laughter every day. String lights hang from the balconies of my neighbors, wrap around palm trees, dangle from streetlights. In the news I read that the Sheik has pardoned hundreds of prisoners, paying off their fines himself in the spirit of charity. Shops here are decorated to match, with cut out stars and crescent moons and streamers. Many shops offer discounts. "70% off home delivery."

There are festivals in the streets and lectures in the colleges.

It is wonderful. And the people of Palestine do not have this. Their fasting is forced, their children out of school by force, their houses lit by firebombs and not crescent moon LEDs, homes that smell of gunsmoke instead of oud.

I hate Israel. It feels childish to admit this. It feels like a shortcoming; hate is what causes this crisis, I should be able to focus on loving Palestine instead of adding more hate to the world. But it is a word I can't help but feel when I think about what Isreal has done, is doing, will do to the people of Palestine. What injustices they will force upon them next. Hate. It's not something I say lightly, but it is something I feel I must say.

I am not disappointed in Israel. I am not sympathetic to their 'cause.' I will not censor myself to sound more moderate, to convince the undecided. I hate Israel. I hate Israel. I hate Israel.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

Ya know. I'm sick of seeing the Palestinian flag everywhere.

No for real. I'm tired of it. I've said this a number of times but fascists, communists and socialist, as well as anarchists, hate jews. And all of them believe the Nazi propaganda about them.

What's even more sad is watching people call for the death of an entire country because they view them as "White" when MOST jews in Israel are arguably not remotely white. This includes Arab and African Jews. But it's funny watching the Rhetoric of the KKK and Neo Nazi's show itself in the group I will now refer to as the FCSA.

"Jews control the world", "Jews are making everyone gay", Jews control all the money", "Jews are all rich and white". Yeah yeah yeah we've seen the Hitler talk for years. We know the bullshit you stupid fucks believe. War is bad but what is going on now is retaliation for a MASSACRE. Hamas and even the people of Gaza, those you call "Palestinians" are VERY specific about who they point the finger at too. So I hear nonstop the idea of "Colonizer" meanwhile this is what the Arab conquest looked like:

Interestingly, before this happened, Judah was a place. Israel in fact was mentioned in the Koran a number of times. Meaning it predated even the Muslim faith. Muhammad, was the purveyor of this faith. So if anything, the progressive should be on the side of Israel. BUT do you know why they aren't? Because in their view? Jews are "White Oppressors".

Now is killing civilians bad? Yes. Is war bad? Also yes. But sadly when it comes to war, civilians die. Except in this case, it's because Hamas are willing to do whatever it needs to, to both protect themselves, (including human shields) which also helps them spread propaganda that the Israeli military are hunting the people of Gaza for sport. See.....fog of war is a shit thing and everyone is going to have their own side. Me? Hamas is a radical sect of Islam. We see them when they do videos in LAVISH places with trinkets that would make the Vatican blush. Why? By stopping aid into Gaza, taking money from Iran, and then selling the aid for a HUGE markup, to get more rich.

What happened to eat the rich? OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RIGHT when they are brown or black it's fine if they are rich right? Because you arrogant fucks don't actually believe anything at all. And none of your views are consistent. Hamas admitted the "Death count" it was sending out was GROSSLY inflated and every single country took it at face value and has yet to correct it. And now, the leaders of Hamas are some of the single richest people on earth. What's more, they want more people from Gaza to die because it makes them (Hamas) look more oppressed. And makes Jews and Israel, look evil.

Then there are the anarchists who I love hearing from *Sarcasm* who want to abolish Israel, but will outright deny that Islam sees Judaism as a slight against their god. Believe me when I say that if Israel left the rest of the hostages to die or be tortured.....this conflict would not stop. Hamas would strike again and again, and anarchists would say, "Well that's just what Israel gets for existing. If they just gave it to the Arabs everything would be sunshine and rainbows". OH so Arabs get to own land and have a theocracy where they commit humans rights violations but Israel can't exist? Sounds to me that the issue you have is the Jewish homeland there sir. Oh and if you think the Jewish people would be safe? Nope. They'd have to escape to other places around the world, knowing it's only a matter of time before those other countries turn on them.

Like the Leftists in the West, who are hunting and harming/threatening Jews with ZERO ties to Israel over this conflict. Enough that a number of students got trapped in a library because a mob formed outside chanting "From the river to the sea". A phrase both created by Hamas and used as a genocidal chant.

Civilian deaths are bad. We get it. But why does NO ONE seem to give a fuck about the massacre? "Oh it was bad but~", No there is no BUT. IT WAS FUCKING AWFUL. And Hamas has stated it's goals over and over. Yet the cult of activists in the west will just dick suck actual terrorists so long as they aren't "White" or "White adjacent". It's even funnier when you consider shit like "Queers for Palestine". Bro they would stone you nearly to death, castrate you then throw you off a fucking building. The LAW in Gaza as enforced by Hamas, was 10 years MIN jail if you were caught being a homosexual. Assuming you lived to SEE jail.

And it actually gets more weird. Seeing the far right say, "Jews are helping create the gays" while the far left is saying "Jews HATE the gays and Islam actually loves them". Have you assholes READ the Koran? Or any related books of the faith? It expressly FORBIDS homosexuality if I recall, and sees it as a slight against Allah. And for slights against their god, they can and WILL kill you. (NOT ALL but enough of the countries that follow it that it's an issue).

My point is. I don't really have a dog in the fight of this conflict. It's just funny watching the FCSA all come together and pretend they don't hate Jews while TARGETING Jews. And I'm tired of influencers, Bands, Actors, and Activists pretending they know what's going on when all they are actually doing is swallowing Hamas propaganda whole. Again. A leader of Hamas has openly said they want more civilians to die because it makes them look more sympathetic. Many have tried to escape only to be blocked off by Hamas. And given their track record for propaganda I would not put it past them to kill an IDF member, take their uniform, and go execute some civilians and then use their Hamas journalists who were on GREAT terms with the UN to film it and create a fucking puff piece worshiping these terrorist fucks. Who DO NOT care about civility, rights, or peoples lives.

[lordystrange]

other anon: “he hangs out with a bad crowd who's a lot older than him and he seems to be quite an impressionable ppl pleaser”

I think people need to look at that for the reality of it then. which is there are 30+ year old people attaching themselves to a (very freshly) 19 year old (who they met at 18 or even younger, so a child), with their own agendas and mindsets. a lot of these people he met on the manipulative propaganda trip earlier in the year where they use his beautiful religion and culture for promo of the country. it’s routine, wasn’t just him doing it. and they’ve kept the contact up. oh you know they love it, freaks leeching off him. and I don’t need anybody saying I’m making excuses for his choices when it’s not the case, I just thought it’s important to note the phrasing in some ways people speak about noah.

because things like “when I was 19 I wasn’t like that” from people mean nothing. congrats I guess! you’re actually still immature for saying that instead of understanding not everyone grows up like you do, so you have some growth to do anyway 😊. statements like that neglect the truth of his age, the fact that it is not the same as all the middle aged people with decades of damage and chances to educate themselves behind them, is he closer to 40 or is he closer to 17? or 14? he is grown enough to make decisions like hanging out with certain people, but that does not stop manipulation and harm done especially for - as other anon said - a people pleaser. I swear people speaking don’t know a thing about indoctrination. has anyone heard of the disease of US patriotism? was that not also bad and shown to be running deep a few years ago? how is that different, especially after an attack that would have the influential adults around you in high emotion likely parroting some ignorant beliefs (because believe it or not, there isn’t a huge jewish population worldwide for uhhh… a pretty well known reason actually! and the fact of the matter is that pretty much everyone knows someone living in isn’treal. many fucking idiots have overblown that attack of course, but the direct emotional ties are real - people just stretched it thin.)

I don’t ask people to justify his actions or make it some parasocial going easy on him situation, it’s just being able to have a wider view of the situation is important and what nobody is doing. instead favoring getting popular tweets and wishing death on him for extremely small things in the grand scheme of politicians and people in govt with actual real influence, or brett for eg. noah is not the person anybody should be prioritizing, he’s an easy target and everybody looks so painfully stupid hating on him daily like that’s doing anything for the cause they all supposedly care about.

don’t even get me started on the amount of antisemitic lean a lot of posts about noah have, that is not or will it ever be ok. you need to learn your history, people, and be careful of dog whistles in your performative rage.

Thank you for the ask.

And you’re right. If we want to be critical about him (which we should be), we have to be critical about the whole situation.

People also seem to forget, that US and Israel are a lot alike. Both are colonizers and their governments are committing actions that are lethal. Yet I don’t see people canceling celebrities who support US.

(I’m aware that the situations are different, but I still think this topic should be talked about more.)

And the age thing is also important to notice here. I was at my dumbest at 19. And while I’d like to believe that age doesn’t matter that much when everyone’s an adult, it does. It just does. I know there were rumours of Noah dating that old guy and there’s nothing to confirm it’s true, but also nothing to confirm it’s not. But if it is true and if he is the ”source” of Noah’s behavior lately, I hope the situation changes.

Very sorry for turning your ask into speculation. But it is honestly a very likely possibility.

[sanctuaryforthelost]

Why do you hate Jewish people?

So I’m going to assume this ask (if it can be called that) is in reference to me liking someone else writing Christmas stories.

And I’m pretty sure you’re the same person who sent me this just the day before….

Honestly the fact that me saying I love Christmas stories would even warrant this type of message is just wild to me, but sadly here we are. I’m sure your intention here is to get a strong reaction from me, to bait me into getting really angry and having some huge back and forth about it. If that’s the case then sorry to let you know anonymous, you failed.

For the record, I’ve never said a hateful thing towards anyone on tumblr or anywhere else but you have anonymous, by sending me this message. The fact that you would even make the connection between me liking Christmas stories and what you’re accusing me of, says more about you than it does me. And it’s really sad that you feel the need to message me (or anyone else for that matter) accusing me of something so hateful and false.

It should go without saying but I will say it just this one time, I don’t stand for hateful comments about anyone, no matter their background, ethnicity, religion, how they identity etc. and the fact that you would send me such a disgusting message, once again says more about you than it does me.

I originally was not going to respond to this but I felt it was important for people to see the messages I received and if anyone else receives anything like this, don’t engage in a back and forth with this person. It’s what they want. Oh and anonymous? I hope you see how wrong you were to send me such a message. The hate is not with me my friend. Also, please don’t ever message me again.

[4chanid]

i dont care how the fuck traumatized you are. youre sitting there identifying in an ideology thats killed MILLIONS. as a "gender" i literally identify as many xenogenders but you cannot identify as that dude, i know me saying this wont stop you but if you went outside for 5 minutes and said youre a nazi youd get your fucking head kicked in RIGHTFULLY. you saying youre a nazi is meaning you support the murder of anybody who isnt white, especially jewish people, you want dictators who will enforce that, and you support at least most of hitlers actions. thats it. thats what a nazi is. if you say "well i dont actually" then thats like me identifying as pupgender and saying "oh no i dont like puppies and dont identify as one and i think theyre disgusting" doesnt make sense does it? and if you think it DOES then i genuinley think you need help really, you wouldnt go get a swastika tattoo because you know that theyre bad people and actual nazis would bash your face in and would enjoy everything you love, under nazi dictatorship youd be one of the first, i dont care if youre radqueer or whatever as long as you dont hurt anybody thats okay, its just not my thing, but this does, this genuinley does hurt people dude, it does no matter how much you deny it, it does hurt people. if youre a nazi sharpie a swastika on your forehead and shout 14/88 and see how that turns out, even if you dont align with the ideologies somehow(then its just pointless) its like skinheads, people think theyre nazis, theyre not, if you saw a skinhead in public knowing every skin youve seen is a white supremacist nazi, youd assume that they are too, unless they was wearing a SHARP badge, then youd know theyre not racist, and most likely not a nazi, but the difference is that theres actual skinheads that arent nazis, but every nazi is well, a nazi, a racist horrible person who supports murder of minorities, and youre preaching you are one. no matter what you think your identity is it means a horrible person, i cant change what you identify as but fuck it hurts people, but i doubt your brain has developed enough to know when youre hurting people and when youre not. since youve gotten this far.

Alright, back from taking a break from fronting, what did I miss? More hate asks? Great. I'm going to dissect each point, this will be a long post so I hope you're prepared.

"youre sitting there identifying in an ideology thats killed MILLIONS. as a 'gender' i literally identify as many xenogenders but you cannot identify as that dude" While my transnazi identity is connected to my gender, I assume you're referring to me being transnazi in general, in which case that isn't gender related. I'll explain this again. Due to me in source being/having similar ideologies, I identify as a transnazi, not because I approve of cisnazis. I do not agree with cisnazi ideology, that's the first thing you should learn before making these claims.

"i know me saying this wont stop you but if you went outside for 5 minutes and said youre a nazi youd get your fucking head kicked in RIGHTFULLY" I'm not even going to touch on this, depending on where you live, you could have the same reaction to saying you're queer or any other identity you think is valid, let's not base morality on what other people think, alright? You are also taking how I identify out of context to make it sound worse, but I'm loosing patience to try to explain this to you.

"you saying youre a nazi is meaning you support the murder of anybody who isnt white, especially jewish people, you want dictators who will enforce that, and you support at least most of hitlers actions. thats it. thats what a nazi is." First off, we as a system aren't white, so do with that what you want, it'd be pretty weird if we were a cisnazi considering we're non-white, queer and mentally disabled.

"if you say "well i dont actually" then thats like me identifying as pupgender and saying 'oh no i dont like puppies and dont identify as one and i think theyre disgusting' doesnt make sense does it?" Let's not go down that way of thinking, there are many ways to identify with xenogenders apart from "I like this thing". Maybe that is someones way of identifying with pupgender, that they don't like puppies or identify as one, you think people having more unique experiences with xenogenders makes them invalid or something?

"you wouldnt go get a swastika tattoo because you know that theyre bad people and actual nazis would bash your face in" Yes, cisnazis are bad people, good job! I also share a body with 400+ other people, I would never think of getting something like that because it frames us all as bad people, I'd rather be the only one you think is a bad person because I know I can defend myself, I don't know if they can.

"under nazi dictatorship youd be one of the first" Rude.

"i dont care if youre radqueer or whatever as long as you dont hurt anybody thats okay, its just not my thing, but this does, this genuinley does hurt people dude, it does no matter how much you deny it, it does hurt people." Identities themselves don't hurt people. My identity just makes you uncomfortable so you think it's hurtful. That's all this is.

"if youre a nazi sharpie a swastika on your forehead and shout 14/88 and see how that turns out, even if you dont align with the ideologies somehow(then its just pointless) its like skinheads, people think theyre nazis, theyre not, if you saw a skinhead in public knowing every skin youve seen is a white supremacist nazi, youd assume that they are too, unless they was wearing a SHARP badge, then youd know theyre not racist, and most likely not a nazi, but the difference is that theres actual skinheads that arent nazis, but every nazi is well, a nazi, a racist horrible person who supports murder of minorities, and youre preaching you are one." God it hurts to read this, I'm usually not going to care about grammar or spelling because everyone goes through their own struggles but holy fuck. This is one sentence. This could be like five.

"no matter what you think your identity is it means a horrible person, i cant change what you identify as but fuck it hurts people" Again, identities themselves don't hurt people, it's the actions attached to them. Yes, if I was spouting hate speech at people who didn't consent to it or if I was justifying cisnazi actions, then I would be a horrible person, but I'm not.

[rantingcrocodile]

I call myself a feb, but only in online spaces that know what it means. Obviously, If I want to share my sexuality with someone irl, I would simply say bisexual. Because I am bisexual, I know it and I'm proud of it, and us febs are not self-hating or trying to hide. "Feb" standing for female-exclusive Bi, exists to find community, because believe it or not, I do not relate to a lot of experiences bisexual women who seek out OSA-partners have. I do not think they are lesser than me, and I surely do not think we have NOTHING in common, as any bisexuals can find common ground. But in a radical feminist space yes, maybe I do want people to know I'm not interested in men. Should celibate straight women on here remove celibate from their bios? But also, your misconception is that we are all doing it for some political praxis, when the majority of us actually ARE SSA-preferenced. It's something we go over a lot. This "mostly-OSA bisexual woman who has never had a partner but calls herself "febfem" to fit in" boogeyman doesn't exist. But, we all know not everyone who is similar to us chooses to use the term. This is why a lot of us are also active in general bi communities and circles. We can and do find solidarity outside the feb label, but it sure has made it a lot easier. How is it comparable to pan vs bi? Pansexuals consider themselves an entire separate orientation. They think bisexuals are bigoted or obsessed with genitals or whatever. Whereas, febfem is a sub-categorization. WE KNOW WE'RE BISEXUAL. We're not running from our bisexuality. "Trying to place yourself in a special spot between bisexual and lesbian." Absolutely not! We know we are not lesbians, and we talk extensively about it. A lot of us also defend bisexuals who aren't feb, we fight biphobia targeted at them, have accounts dedicated to that in general, etc. But when it comes to my dating life and experiences, I've talked to some bi women before who absolutely did not relate to me or see where I was coming from. Are we supposed to endure this half-understanding forever? What is so damn bad about female-exclusive bisexuals coming together? We are so extremely diverse, as bisexuals, and I love that, but that's also why we can't be expected to just blend into one. What is so not comprehensible about that

I'm just going to drop this link here for you to read, since that covers a lot of your points and I don't feel like re-typing them for you.

The thing is, you undermine your entire point in one single admittance:

“But in a radical feminist space yes, maybe I do want people to know I'm not interested in men.”

Why do you need to let everyone know that you're "not interested in men” in this space? I'll tell you exactly why: because you know that if you said “bisexual” instead of “febfem” you get biphobic, misogynistic assumptions that you’re somehow “available” to men, when you know that isn’t the case and it’s not fair to have that assumption made. So you’ve latched onto “febfem” instead of simply say, “No, that’s an unfair generalisation about bisexual women.”

The irony here in that, “Oh, but I don’t have the same experiences as other bisexual women” is that you’re treating bisexuality in a worse way than we, as feminists, treat women as a group. You’re accepting that we have a baseline that we all share (we’re all women), but you’re pretending that bisexuals need different, separate groups, like lesbian women need their own spaces, black women need their own spaces, Jewish women need their own spaces. The thing is, when it comes to women having different spaces, that’s based on different axes of oppression, where women who have more than one axes want to have space with other women just like themselves to avoid oppression, whereas bisexuals are just... bisexual.

What massive, most important differences are there between bisexuals? Dating preferences? What, because you think the most important distinction in bisexuality is our partner? Is it possibly because you don’t connect with other bisexuals to discuss how oppression affects us all as individuals, where you’ll find so much overlap and solidarity, but just end up still treating yourself like an object where the only bisexual experiences that matter are how they’re mirrored by our partners?

And I’m sorry, but when bisexual women feel pressured to lie about being “febfem” to avoid biphobia, there’s a real problem here:

The “pansexuals” think they’re different to bisexuals too, even though they accept that we’re all under the “bi+ label.”

I’m not going to turn a blind eye when more and more people are saying things like this, which really does promote the “febfem vs pansexual” debate: 

Once again, you literally created and use mogai-style Pride flags. Plural.

I wish that I knew of a single “febfem” blog that actually “fights against biphobia.”

Instead, it’s constant positivity for febfems, not bisexuals in general like you’re your own group, not bisexuals who are simply more SSA-leaning naturally, and the same repeated biphobia that bisexual women who aren’t “febfems” are somehow louder, never allow anyone to talk about SSA or female partners and the idea that we’re basically two entirely different groups, where “febfems” are the victims and all other bisexual women are male-obsessed oppressors.

If you were “proud” of being bisexual, you’d be angry and loud about the biphobia saying that we’re all basically “bihets” and support the rest of us sharing how important our SSA is to us. Because strangely enough, despite all the friends that I’ve made, I’ve met only 50/50s and much more SSA-leaning bisexual women, who share my critiques of “febfem.” 

But it comes down to nothing more than, “But I like the label and the community that protects us from specific kinds of biphobia while it’s used to attack other bisexuals, and I don’t want to hear any critiques and I want to pretend there’s no problem with it and anyone else that says otherwise is probably just a bihet that can’t relate to me.”

If you actually embraced your bisexuality and spent time with other bisexuals instead of cloistering yourself away with other “febfems,” then you’ll be shocked at just how alike we are and how much we have in common. But this space loves this fake division, because you’re tokenised as “the good ones.”

But mark my words: you’re only “the good ones” as long as you stay silent and don’t support the rest of us, and that thinnest of ice will shatter as soon as you start talking about biphobia in general and how it affects all of us.

[mollygetssherlockcoffee]

For You

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Y/N waits all night for Spencer to come home

Warnings: Angst... maybe swearing, but I honestly can’t remember

Words: 2,451

A/N: My LPC and Masters are kicking my ass... I hate it here :)))))))

PART TWO HERE  PART THREE HERE

Master List     Permanent Tag List

Shoving the last Dorito in your mouth, you leaned off the couch to grabbing your phone from the coffee table. Your thumb swiped across the screen to accept the call. Muting the TV, you sat up and put the call on speaker, smiling as you heard his voice.

 “Hey, Y/N/N” Your boyfriend of three years greeted you.

“Spencer” you smiled into the phone, more than happy to hear from him. “I didn’t speak to you yesterday, I missed you.”

“Yeah, sorry, we caught a break in the case” he apologises. “Did you know, only ten-point-seven percent of murders are committed by women, who tend to kill for reasons such as personal gain or jealousy. Our unsub actually went against the statistic.”

“So, you caught them then?” you asked, biting your lip to conceal your hope.

“Yeah, yeah, we did!” he confirmed, and you were sure that he was nodding. “We’re at the station at the moment but we should be leaving soon. I’ll be home around-” There’s a moment of pause while you assume he looks at his watch. “Around seven, seven-thirty. Definitely no later than eight.”

“Oh, Spencer, that’s great!” you grinned, standing up from the couch. “This week has dragged by without you.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon” he assures you. “I have to go though, there a bit of paperwork that needs to be finished before we can leave.” “Okay, no worries. I love you, bye” you say.

“See you soon, love you” he hangs up.

 You turned of the TV and quickly got to work cleaning the apartment. It wasn’t dirty, not really, but your breakfast dishes were in the sink and you didn’t take the trash out last night. You had also neglected putting away the laundry and had thrown your coat and bag over the back of a chair, rather than hang them up.

 Coming home to an empty apartment had demotivated you this week, making you not bother to keep up with the little things. Though you always missed Spencer when he was away on cases, this week had been especially trying.

 You hung your coat up, moving your keys into the little bowl by the door. The laundry was seen to next, the tops separated and hung up while the pants were neatly folded and placed in the draws. Plates were quickly cleaned and dried, put into their place. You wiped down the sides, brushing the crumbs into the bin before quickly running the trash out.

 Coming back into the apartment, you washed your hands before moving to the fridge. Having only went shopping a few days ago, it was still well stocked, and it had all the ingredients for Spencer’s favourite meal.

 You had grown up with a dad who loved to cook, who had wanted to be a chef. Due to his severe eczema, which he used to tell he had to be ‘wrapped up like a mummy’ for, he was unable to pursue his passion. As such, he had cooked delicious meals at home for you and your mom, passing on recipes and filling you with a passion for food.

 Cooking was something you found relaxing. You knew enough recipes by heart to not follow a recipe, but, instead, a pattern within your mind. You could cook your favourite dish without the need to measure herbs or spices, mind zoned out while you prepared the ingredients.

 When you had began dating Spencer, he was basically living on coffee with the occasional take-out. Within two months of your relationship, his freezer was fully stocked with frozen home-cooked meals. While his slim physique remained, he did gain a healthy amount of weigh and appeared to look healthier.

 It hadn’t taken you long to find out that his favourite was a slow roasted rack of lamb, with rosemary roasted potatoes, butter roasted carrots, broccoli, peas and mash potatoes. You had served the roast lamb at Easter, where Spencer proceeded to spend nearly thirty minutes telling you about the origin of eating lamb at Easter.

 “It’s actually related to the Jewish Passover, from when the Egyptians painted lamb’s blood on doors during the plagues of Egypt. When some Jewish people converted, they caried on the tradition. In fact, in Christianity, Jesus…”

 Coming from a diverse background (various religions were practiced in your family, some married and converted, others converted, an adopted cousin kept practicing his religion, thus you celebrated many different religions) you knew the some of what he was saying. However, you loved to hear Spencer talk.

 Spencer could talk about anything and you would listen. You loved to hear his voice; the way his voice became higher when he got excited. You liked to lean back against the couch, your feet in his lap as he read to you. His voice lulled you into a calm and relaxed state, it put your mind at peace and made everything seem right in the world.

 You cleaned the lamb, patting it dry with paper towels become setting it on the chopping board. You trimmed the fat, leaving only a small layer which would cook and add flavour to the meet. Pouring a tablespoon of oil into your hands, you gently rub it into the lamb before adding the spices, careful not to overwork the meat.

 The meat was transferred into a dish before moved into the hot oven.

 You then moved onto the vegetables. You coated par-boiled potatoes with oil, salt, pepper and rosemary become adding them to the oven. Carrots were peeled and cut, put into a tin-foil bowl with a teaspoon of butter and a sprinkle of sugar. Folding the tin-foil closed, you slid that into the oven too.

 Potatoes were peeled, chopped and put on to boil. You cut the broccoli into smaller pieces and add them to a pot and put them onto boil too. Peas remained in a saucepan, covered in water, but you would turn them on in a little while.

 You grabbed the latest Doctor Who DVD that Spencer had brought the week previous. You put the first disk into the DVD player and set the box beside the TV. Leaving the screen on the menu page, you left the room and went for a shower.

 You looked at the clock again.

 20:37

 You sighed and looked down at your food which was damn near cold. Your stomach rumbled and you picked up your fork. You weren’t going to wait any longer. While the food is delicious, you don’t enjoy it. You don’t focus on the flavours as you chew and swallow, your mind focused on your thoughts.

 Where was Spencer?

 You had called his phone multiple times, but it had just rung out. You had called JJ, but she had left work before him. When you had phoned his work and spoken to his boss, Hotch had told you that Spencer had already left for the evening, and suggested you call Derek as they left together. Just like Spencer’s phone, Derek phone had rung out too.

 Finishing your food, you took your plate to the sink. Rising the plate, along with the pots and pans, you then filled the sink with bubbly water. Grabbing the sponge, you began to clean.

 Your mind was torn on whether to be worried or not. One the one hand, Spencer had said he’d be home – you checked the clock – over an hour ago but he still wasn’t here. He wasn’t at work and he wasn’t answering his phone. You bit your lip. Anything could have happened to him. There could be a problem with the subway, maybe he got injured on the way home, or something else could have happened.

 Spencer’s an FBI agent though and is licenced to carry a gun. Not to mention, he’s a literal genius. If he got into trouble, you had no doubt that he would either be able to get himself out or be able to contact someone to raise an alarm.

 Your mind told you that he was with Derek, that they were together and gotten distracted one way for another. They were like brothers, and easily got carried away and forgot about the time.

 Spencer had to be fine. He had to be.

Hanging his bag on its hanger, Spencer closed the door. He toed off his shoes, pulling his arms from his cardigan. It had been a long night, a long week, in fact, and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed. He smiled at the thought of crawling into bed and curling around you, of cuddling into you and breathing in your scent as he fell asleep.

 Spencer used to love going on cases but after he met you, that changed. Now, he wanted to get them over and get home as soon as possible. He missed you every moment he was gone. He missed waking up with you, with your toes pressed into his leg as you sought out his warmth. He missed reading to you in evenings, gazing at your peaceful face as he spoke the words from memory. He missed the kisses before bed, the giggles you’d make when he would tickle your side as you both laid beneath the duvet.

 He walked down the small hallway and into the open-plan living room and kitchen. The first thing his eyes land on is the small dining table. His mouth parts a little as he looks at the single plate of food, a knife and fork beside it. it was his favourite meal but he knew it was stone cold, yet he remembered the taste and his mouth watered at the sight.

 You had cooked for him.

 His stomach began to twist as he turned towards the front room. The TV was on, displaying the menu for a DVD from his new Doctor Who collection, whose box sat beside the TV. Then he saw you, sitting on the couch and watching him.

 His stomach dropped. You had been waiting for him. You had cooked him his favourite dinner, put on his favourite show and were waiting for him. He had told you he would be home by eight, and it was nearing one-thirty in the morning. The guilt in his stomach twisted like a knife as you stood up.

 He knew you were mad; he could see it in the hard set of your jaw. He could also see the sadness swimming in your eyes as you looked at him. He had let you down, and he knew it wasn’t something you were easily going to forgive him for.

 “You said you’d be home at eight” your voice was low, soft, but he could hear the sadness in your words.

“Yeah…” he agreed, he had said that. He had promised that.

“Where were you?” you asked. “I was worried, you didn’t call or anything.”

“Erm… Derek, he…erm… wanted to go to a bar” Spencer replied, looking down at his mix matched socks.

“So you went? You went, knowing that I was here, waiting for you” you shook your head, looking away from him in an attempt to hold back your anger. “You went to a bar with Derek, after telling me you would be home by eight? You didn’t even let me know! I’ve been waiting for you, Spencer, I cooked you dinner and everything.” “Y/N… I’m sorry” he reached out to you but you held up your hand, taking a step back.

 He had gone to a pub. A pub. He didn’t even have the decency to call you, or even text, to say that he wasn’t going to be coming home when he said. He had left you to wait for him, to worry for him. And though you’ve hurt, you’re angry. Angry that this is the way he is treating you. He doesn’t even like pubs, so why would he leave you to go to one?

 This isn’t the first time he’s done this either. He had done the same thing a month ago, just went out with his team after telling you that he’d be home for dinner in an hour. You had fell asleep on the couch waiting for him that night.

 “You always do this to me” You shook your head, looking at him in disappointment. And, looking at your face, Spencer thought that was worse that seeing you angry.

“What?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Abandoning me, you do it all the time!” You say. “You get called on a case and you don’t tell me, you leave me waiting at a restaurant. Stood up. You don’t tell me when your cases get extended, you tell me you’ll be gone two days but its six.”

“Y/N-” he begins, but you quickly cut him off.

“I don’t mind you going to clubs with Derek. I’m fine with cancelling plans because of work, I don’t mind that you’re called away” you tell him. “However, you don’t communicate with me. You stand me up, all the time. You don’t even call, and I’m tired of it. I did this for you Spencer.” You spread your arms out to gesture at the food and TV. “I try to do stuff for you and it goes to waste. Dinner reservations, movie nights, personal museum tours. They could have been rescheduled or the deposits refunded, if you had spoken to me. I… I’m tired of this Spencer. A relationship can’t work without communication.”

 Spencer’s mouth is dry at your words, his own eyes stinging as he gazes sadly at your face. He can see how much it has affected you, how hurt you are but his actions. You were right though, he never called or texted you to let you know he wouldn’t be there for any of those things. His mind played over your words and his stomach twisted as the final sentence registered in his brain.

 “What are you saying?” his voice is scratchy as he forces the words out, his fists clenched as he struggles not to cry.

“Maybe… Maybe we should take a break… for you to consider whether you can be committed, in all aspects, to this relationship” your voice is quiet as you answer him, your own eyes swimming with tears. “I’ll sleep in the spare room tonight, and then tomorrow… Well, Natasha said that I Could spend a few nights at hers.”

 Spencer watched as you turned away from him, walking towards the spare room. You didn’t look back as you closed the door, and, finally, the tears fell from his eyes. This was it, he had lost you because he failed to do the most simple thing in a relationship. You were leaving him.

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[evilwickedme]

ok so to sum up my feelings for leverage: redemption, season 1(a): (long post warning, there’s a tl;dr at the end)

I knew that Hardison wouldn’t be in most of the season due to Aldis Hodge being a busy bee nowadays, but I didn’t realize that meant he’d only be around for the first two episodes. He was sorely missed, not only because of my attachment to him, but also because he’s usually the grounding factor in the group dynamic, and his role as info guy and tech guy was split evenly between two characters who had their own issues.

That said, Hardison is absolutely a highlight of the two episodes he’s in. his speech about redemption was everything I could’ve hoped for (plus, more evidence for the Jewish!Hardison pile...). I wish we’d gotten to see more of his dynamic with Breanna because what we saw was funny and sweet and we don’t generally get to see Hardison taking care of somebody who so desperately needs taking care of. I hope that Aldis Hodge is around for more episodes in 1(b), because what we’re left with feels a little hollow.

Sticking to original leverage characters for now, for the most part the leverage crew still felt true to the original series as characters, even if the show itself was a little bit confused at times. The actors understand their characters and embody them so well that I think one could give them the trashiest script ever and they’d still sell it. Sophie is a particular focus in 1(a) because of Nate’s death, and she’s particularly well written as a result.

That said, I’m super bitter that we saw little to no mastermind!Parker. Parker’s character being given the mastermind role was a big deal and it feels like they’re walking it back because they feel uncomfortable with it. It is eventually given an in-text excuse, but literally in the last episode, and it was not a particularly convincing reason, and in fact contradicted moments from previous episodes (Sophie leaving for a client meeting and ignoring Parker in ep3 comes to mind). It’s frustrating, it makes the end of the original leverage feel pointless, and letting Parker make a decision once in a while is not the same thing at all. The original series repeatedly showed us that while everyone in the team had their strengths, Parker works problems and solves them in unique, interesting ways, and other characters’ days in the limelight tended to be comedic or even failures. It’s a broken promise, and a pretty major broken promise at that.

On a more positive note, Parker’s dynamic with literally everyone was fantastic. She’s possibly the best written character this season. They’ve taken the autism out of the subtext and into the text (although obviously still undiagnosed), and given her coping mechanisms that were taken seriously in the text even when they were played for laughs, which I appreciated. Her attempts to mentor Breanna were sweet, her friendship with Sophie was electric and at times (CRIMES) hilarious, and as usual, she has a fantastic dynamic with Eliot that makes my heart burst. If you don’t think they’re romantically involved, at least acknowledge there’s a life partnership here. They’ve spent the last decade together.

(We’ll get to Harry.)

Eliot isn’t given much arc-wise, which is frustrating since he’s my favorite. He’s being presented as the goal at the end of a redemption arc, ie to keep working at it every day until your soul heals or whatever, and it doesn’t reflect the message they’re trying to convey via Hardison’s speech and our two new characters. He’s got his moments, but I think they under utilized his potential.

Breanna!!! Breanna’s my new favorite, except for Eliot. She’s hilarious, she’s insecure, she’s nerdy and excited in a way that’s similar to Hardison but still distinct in its inherent teenage-girl-ness and I LOVE IT. Unlike the previous series, where Hardison’s “age of the geek” was often a joke played on Hardison, we’re at the point where Eliot and Parker are both right there with him, and so they accept and even appreciate Breanna’s nerdiness. Also, canon gay character? In YOUR Leverage? It’s more likely than you think.

(No, I never thought they’d make ot3 canon on screen. I hoped, but I didn’t think it would actually happen.)

I think Breanna’s the character that will be the most interesting to see grow. She’s got a lot of potential and a list of crimes a mile long (or more). I adore her with all my heart. I want to see her tiktok account.

Harry. Oh, Harry.

It took me a while, but I do like Harry. It took a while, because the narrative positioned him at the same level as Nate back in episode 1 of original Leverage. But in episode 1 we didn’t know the other characters. We had Nate as the POV character, and so we cared about him because we were seeing the world through his eyes. (This is TV Studies 101. I know this, because I took TV Studies 101 in 2019.) In Leverage: Redemption, we no longer have a POV character, for several reasons:

Nate, previously the POV character, is dead.

As it is, by mid-season 3 of leverage Nate was no longer a POV character. This is, coincidentally, the point where the leverage writers realized they had four other characters in the main cast they could do something with, and in-universe, Nate accepted that he was a thief, not a special Good Man.

Sophie is sort of a POV character for the first episode of the revival, but only for the first few minutes. Afterwards, the series settles into the groove of seasons 3-5, i.e., the entire crew is our POV. We know our crew, and we love them as is.

Narratively, however, Redemption insists on positing Harry as the POV character, because it is his redemption we are pursuing most vehemently. And I think they really relied on us already knowing the actor - I’ve never seen him in anything before, so to me he was a completely fresh face and they put almost no effort into selling him to me. Beyond being competent and consistently mildly baffled by the antics of the leverage crew, I honestly don’t know who this man is by the end of EIGHT episodes with him. I have a much better handle on Breanna by the end of 1(a), and I can tell you I knew all five of the original leverage crew better by the end of the first episode of the original series than I do Harry. What’s the name of his daughter, John Rogers. Is he still married. How old is the daughter. Why is none of this worth mentioning. Give him a sense of humor that isn’t reacting to other people’s shenanigans. I’m so frustrated. It’s bad writing.

I did manage to grow to like Harry by the end, but I’m pretty sure this is down to Noah Wyle’s charismatic portrayal of an under-developed character, at least partially. And I never stopped being frustrated at not knowing who this man is at all.

The two highlights of the season are undoubtedly episodes five and six. Episode five was the first time I felt like the episode was more than a collection of good moments between the main cast and mediocre moments between the main cast and also the main plot. The issues with pacing and tone that I suffered through for most of the season were mostly non-existent in ep5 and 6, and at least in episode 5 I attribute that to the pared down cast. They had time to focus not only on our actual characters - Sophie, Parker, Breanna - but also on the case. This is the only client from 1(a) I am going to remember next week without googling it first, mark my words.

Episode six worked for the exact opposite reason - it completely disregarded the client and plot and immersed itself in the characters. Breanna gets a moment to shine, but everybody else gets their bits and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the script that was most fun to write. The characters felt natural, real, and captured the found-family dynamic that’s been missing all season for the first time.

While episode 2 is the weakest episode, I don’t actually have much to say about it. I am disappointed in episode 8. For a mid-season finale, I really expected them to do something. Instead, it was an episode about Nate Ford that copped out of being about Nate Ford (both with fake-Nate and with the new version of him being relayed to us). I would have told the writers to give that energy back to episode 1 and write an episode that’s about anybody who isn’t Harry, oh my God. I know I said I grew to like him but so many episodes were about Harry. He’s the newbie! Why didn’t Hardison get an episode that was actually about him, considering he was only around for two episodes? Why does Eliot have to be the butt of the joke when the theme of the series should directly tie back to him in a much more meaningful way? The last episode parodies their own tagline by saying Eliot isn’t just a hitter, but it deftly avoids noticing that they’ve turned him into nothing more than very muscly comic relief, including in that very episode!

Also, I hated the Marshal. Eliot actively looked uncomfortable around her.

tl;dr

The season took a while, that’s definitely true. But it did find its footing eventually, and by the halfway mark of 1(a) it finally felt cohesive again. The characters were played fantastically even when they weren’t well-written, and if nothing else, the humor landed every time. It still has its kinks and problems to work out, but if you look at it as a brand new show rather than a continuation of one that went off the air over eight years ago, it’s actually doing rather well. I’m choosing to judge it in both lights - according to its own standards, it establishes its identity in episode five; according to Leverage standards, it establishes its connection to its roots in episode six. Either way, I thoroughly enjoyed 1(a), and continue to have high hopes for 1(b).

fic writing will commence in three, two, one...

[mewtonian-physics]

my ranking of the alex rider original series (stormbreaker through scorpia rising) from ‘book i least enjoy rereading’ to ‘book i most enjoy rereading’ let’s goooo

spoilers for all 9 books under the cut

9. Ark Angel

...He went to space. He went to space. Also the entire plot could have been avoided if Drevin had actually bothered to provide a photograph of his son. I’m sure he had one. I still like this book but it’s literally so insane that I just don’t know what to do with it. 

It is however really funny that Webber just goes and gives a speech insulting this super high-profile ecoterrorist group and acts like it’s no big deal and then they kill him. Shock of shocks.

8. Skeleton Key

Okay, points to this book for terrifying the shit out of me. God damn it does that shark scene scare me. Also, points for making me feel a little bit bad for a man who wants to nuke his own country because he thinks it will fix the place up. I’m still not entirely sure how that’s supposed to work, but that’s probably a good thing. I feel like understanding his thought process would say bad things about me. Still, I actually did feel sorry for him, if only a little. Dude was clearly mentally unstable and I doubt his son’s death helped at all. I also got sad about what happened to Carver and Troy. (Yeah, yeah, I’m a cringe fail American who has the American release. So sue me.) What a nightmare that must’ve been to endure... Otherwise, though, I’m not super into this book. The opening is just kind of meh and the way it leads into the rest of the plot seems a little bit unbelievable. Also, this might be an unpopular opinion, but Sabina annoys me. I would not get along with her at all and I can’t imagine her as a girlfriend. Skeleton Key does, however, absolutely excel at the emotional scenes. 

Also, why are all the spy agencies so comfortable with sending in a 14-year-old? Especially when they outright admit that the other attempts have all died horribly? Bureaucracy’s a bitch.

7. Point Blank

Boo, Dr. Grief! Boo! We hate your white supremacy! I’m so glad you got a snowmobile to the face, you deserved it. (Perks of books written by Jewish people--we aren’t afraid to give the neo-Nazis an unpleasant death.) Anyway, this book definitely isn’t bad, but I wouldn’t really say it stands out in the series. It definitely does hammer home the point of just how trapped Alex is, since MI6 isn’t going to just let him go after one mission, and let’s face it, the plot with the clones is creepy as hell, if highly improbable. But I’m largely just here to see the neo-Nazi get snowmobiled. That’s right, I just completely changed the definition of a pre-established word. I’m a rebel.

Also, I hate Fiona Friend so much and overall think she just didn’t need to be in the book, but the line about ‘I’d rather kiss the horse’ made me laugh so hard. Alex, you sass.

6. Snakehead

Okay, let’s talk about how genius the plan in this book is. I love it! I love how Yu wants to kill the people involved in the peace conference without making them into martyrs, so he comes up with this whole elaborate plan to stage a natural disaster. It’s incredible. This dude was thinking so far ahead. And he would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for that meddling kid... But anyway, I don’t see a lot of books where the villain really acknowledges that killing their enemies could just cause more problems for them via turning them into martyrs for a cause. Also, the way he’s so polite and soft-spoken while also being a complete monster... This book genuinely gives me chills. Extra bonus points for the part in the hospital, the absolute nightmare of having all your organs slowly removed and sold off and everyone around you is being so nice about it? ‘Oh, don’t worry, Alex, it won’t be so bad. Here, take your medicine. Do you need anything?’ Literally just. What the fuck. 

Also Ash can fucking fight me. You put your own godson in horrible danger on purpose! You killed your best friend! Bastard. 

...And just in case the book wasn’t disturbing enough, Yu’s fate at the end lives in my mind rent-free and I think about it on a concerningly regular basis considering that the chances of that happening to me are so low they’re practically in the negatives. Damn you, Horowitz.

I would also be remiss if I did not mention just how much I love the tagline ‘once bitten, twice spy’.

5. Crocodile Tears

Ah yes, the book that kickstarted my drift away from the church... I kid, of course. I drifted away from the church for completely separate reasons. But Desmond McCain is always going to scare the shit out of me. The ability to kill countless innocent people while blissfully quoting Bible verses (that he takes wildly out of context and uses for his own self-serving means) is... well, I could actually say a lot about what that reminds me of, but I’m here to rate books, not religion. Moving on. This book has some really stellar antagonists, and the plot is chilling in a way that feels a lot more realistic than most of the other books. Even if some of it is a bit farfetched (sabotaging a nuclear power plant? Really?), the idea of using disasters for your own profit... well. I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate on why that is so believable. The Poison Dome is also a really cool and chilling scene--even Alex, who has the luck of the devil, can’t get out of that one unscathed. Further scares come in with the fate of Harold Bulman--imagine having your entire existence wiped and your identity changed while you were asleep! The breakdown he has over it is almost enough to make me feel sorry for him, even though he was ready to exploit a teenager and make his life a living hell just to turn a profit. Note the word almost.

Also. The opening makes me cry. Specifically the line talking about how Ravi’s kids would ‘never meet Mickey Mouse’. I lose my goddamn mind every single time I read it. That little personal touch turns the scene from a statistic to a tragedy. Once again: Damn you, Horowitz.

4. Stormbreaker

Yeah, this one gets the special cover shot. And why not? What we are looking at here is the birth of a legend. Move the fuck over, James Bond, Alex Rider is on the scene now. Anyway, yeah, this book is pretty damn spectacular. It has its stumbles, but as the first book in a series, that’s to be expected. Still, it pulls you in from quite literally the first line and keeps you going right up until the end. (If you came here from my post of memes, you know how much the line ‘Killing is for grownups, and you’re still a child’ destroys me.) It has the debut of much-beloved characters such as, of course, Alex--but also Jack Starbright, and of course, the best MI6 agent of them all, which is to say Smithers. Hell, even Yassen Gregorovich, especially once you get through Russian Roulette... Man, that was a rough one. 

Seriously, though. This is a really good book. The scene with the Portuguese man-o’-war still gives me the chills to think about. (Have you ever looked up pictures of those things? They’re beautiful, but holy shit will they make you regret being born. Nature is funny like that.) 

We also get the introduction of, of course, Alex’s patented sass (his response to Sayle saying he relates to the man-o’-war is HILARIOUS) and we get the inherent humor of Alex screwing up an alias one time and then just going by Alex for the rest of the series so he doesn’t do that again. Really, kid, I know you’re not a trained spy or anything but did you never play pretend growing up? Ever? You can’t pretend your name is Felix for a little while? That sounds like a you problem.

3. Scorpia Rising

I distinctly remember when this book came out, actually. I was on vacation at the time, and I remember my brother annoying the hell out of the poor workers at a bookstore we frequented there to see if/when they were going to get it in. They did, finally, and we bought it immediately, and I was of course absolutely desperate to read it. He got to read it first, though. -_-

This is a great book, an absolute emotional rollercoaster all the way through. The way Blunt tricks Alex back into service by staging a shooting was exactly the kind of cold, brutal behavior I’d expect from him. Seeing Julius come back was shocking, but very exciting, too. And Razim makes an incredibly chilling villain, with his absolute disregard for human life and his desire to measure pain. Also, seeing Smithers’s house was so much fun. Smithers in this book was just really fun in general, but he’s really fun in every book, so... nothing unusual there. But also, I want an unwelcome mat. Please?

2. Eagle Strike

‘But Penny,’ you might ask, ‘why is this book so high on your list? It has so much of Sabina in it, and you said she annoys you.’ That is true. What does not annoy me, however, is basically the entire rest of the book. I love the tense opening, and then reading through Alex’s real-life ‘playthrough’ of Feathered Serpent is still one of my favorite scenes. Cray is absolutely incredible as a villain, with the way that he truly believes in his cause--which is undoubtedly a good one! Yet the extremes to which he will go for that cause, and the fact that he very nearly succeeds, are what elevate him to one of the most dangerous villains in the series. That scene with Charlie Roper and the nickels is something I can never seem to stop thinking about. Actually, I think about it basically whenever I think about large amounts of money paid in small increments... 

Also, I really enjoy how he gets into the whole plot in the first place, and I really enjoy Smithers saying ‘ah, fuck it’ and helping him out anyway. Go, Smithers. You once again prove me right in saying that you’re the coolest adult in MI6.

The revelation that Yassen knew Alex’s father is one that absolutely blew my mind first time around. The way his life was threaded into the lives of the Rider family--he worked with John Rider, was saved by him, killed Ian Rider, and then died for refusing to kill Alex Rider--wow. Wow. It gets to me. It really gets to me. This book is a masterpiece. I heard that it’s going to be what the second season of the TV series is based off of, and I’m so hyped for that. We love to see it, we really do.

1. Scorpia

I don’t believe anyone who says this book didn’t get to them at all. I just think they are lying. I don’t think it’s humanly possible to not be affected by this book. God. Just thinking about it reminds me of why I don’t think it’s possible. I mean, come on. We get all this backstory about Alex’s parents, we get tricked along with him into thinking MI6 killed his father, then bam, that was a lie, and Alex may have just fucked himself over big time. Also, that plot is terrifying! (And I bet anti-vaxxers had a field day with it, huh.) Julia Rothman is a really great antagonist, one of the only ones who didn’t go and explain her plan in great detail to Alex--the fact that she didn’t actually being a plot point was something I personally found pretty clever. In general, this book is... I tend to hate when people say they ‘can’t put it down’ because it’s usually an obvious exaggeration, but that really is how I feel reading it.

And again. If that ending didn’t get to you... Well, I just think you are lying.

[hawaiian-has-moved]

you aren’t cannon. beetlebabes is more cannon than you. at least that shit was in the musical and movie and cartoon.

Need I remind you idiots, since I have already said I'm no longer being nice to you anymore.

That I do not give a damn what you think it looked like to you in that fucked up brain of yours, it's still p*dophilia. Man it's almost sad I live this rent free in your head for existing. I just exist and your blood boils. It's cute.

Anyway, Lydia is a minor in every version.

And if you think the wedding in the movie was romantic. Man every gross man I've cringed at for being a creepo must have been true love.

But see, that's the thing you people don't get huh? Consent. Consent does not exist to you. If it did you wouldn't fight when people say that Lydia is a minor and therefore cannot consent. It doesn't click because you found something hot about shipping this developing teen with this old as fuck perv.

But oh? Is that not enough for you, you cry, begging to justify your vile ship. Allow me to humor you and go through the other versions.

In fact! I'll analyze a whole song just for you.

Also please look at yet another picture of Lydia obviously not having it.

Way back when I was just ten

Simple and sweet

Everywhere, fellas would stare

Out on the street

And I felt used

Kinda confused

I would refuse to look in their eyes

But now I really love creepy old guys

This is kinda obvious, she's been preyed on before by men. So basic p*do trying to gr**m a kid scenario. But the satire to the song of course is that "it's all fine now" Which it's obviously not, she's just using this to trick him so they can send him back as an end goal.

We all do!

Gum disease

Skin like grilled cheese

Saggy old asses

(Saggy old asses)

Cute and vile

Hey baby, smile

To each girl that passes

They make me blush

(Can't get enough)

Now one of 'em loves me, wants to be mine

(That's right)

Marrying my own creepy old guy!

(I'm a creepy old guy)

This is just more playing out the satire of pretending it's okay, but with Beej chiming in because he already lacks the knowledge that this is grooming and it's not okay. Tricking him into thinking this is fine to end up killing him is a breeze.

My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy

I'm so happy I could cry

Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy

It's not uncommon that I've heard about or heard someone get told that they're just shy when a gross ass old man or someone is trying to gr**m a kid. It's gaslighting and manipulation in most cases. So for them to say that it's because they're actually just shy as part of the satire is the point.

My creepy old groom (creepy old groom)

Play that wedding tune

Hey folks, step aside

(I am older, but I'm glad I waited)

And if you've watched a bootleg, you would recall Barbara right here smiling and then turning away with eyes wide, like "this is not fucking okay" Kind of look on her face. But yeah this is another one of those phrases that you hear too often in these gross situations.

'Cause here comes the bride

I am marrying my creepy old guy

(Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy)

He's my creepy old guy

(Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy!)

Fix his hair

Get him prepared

For Armageddon

Again if you have seen a bootleg, here Lydia puts a finger to her lips and goes shhhh. Because Armageddon is Beejs death.

Sure, the groom

Crawled out of a tomb

But hey, hey, it's a wedding!

He's really fucking old guys. There is a huge age gap and this is p*dophilia.

So dim the lights

Pick up some rice

Say something nice

It's my day to shine

I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy

(It's showtime)

Creepy old guy, creepy old guy

She's marrying a creepy old guy

Have you guys seen "Lolita"?

This is just like that, but fine

I have not seen Lolita, but I have been told it's similar to this who marriage scenario and is mega bad. Now if it were Lolita fashion, that is made to ward off men, so I assume it's a movie from what info I have.

Creepy old dude, creepy old dude

Our faith has been renewed

Now love is alive!

Wave your baby girl goodbye

I am walking down the aisle

I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by

I know that on the outside he's disgusting

And even on the inside, he's disgusting

This whole scenario is fucking vile. He's vile.

But I know that this time, I'm makin' it right

(Making it right, making it right!)

With my family by my side

O.M.G.

Dressed to a "T"

Fancy and formal

I found me a wife

L'chaim to life

This is so normal!

I was ignored

But now, I'm adored!

'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied

Give it up for my underage bride!

They've done it, they have successfully tricked him into thinking this is okay with no funny business. But he's about to get stabbed. L'chaim to life is a nod at him being Jewish, also he had a Kippah in the DC version which backed this joke, but it fell off a lot ig so he doesn't have it now. Traditionally there was a lot of marrying women off to much older men for property and stuff, as most religions do/did tho. I was in a production of Fiddler on the roof for example and that was the whole premise.

Here comes the bride

Here comes the bride

God be glorified

I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright

My creepy old guy

My creepy old guy

Doesn't he deserve a chance at life?

Oh yeah, that's right

Yeah, that's right

So let's make him alive!

I am marrying my creepy old guy!

Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy

Guy, guy, creepy old guy

Guy, guy

(I have chills)

Yeah!

And then they stab him and the till death do we part sign over the stage all makes sense now because the wedding vows are undone and since he's recently deceased he almost returns to the netherworld.

Etcetera etcetera... But of course you guys go tome deaf at that one when it plays if I remember right.

Oh right, the cartoon, of course, I knew just what you were thinking don't worry. You're thinking "oh well what about the comics, and the valentine cards! And and the animators who drew lewd stuff of Lydia!" Well.... Haha! Still p*dophilia! And also I have seen the infamous Lydia drawing and it's got her head shape, nose, lips, but it's not fully her. Even if it was again my first point, still p*dophilia. And yeah just because the people who worked on it drew it, doesn't make it suddenly okay. Ffs...

I couldn't even find a cartoon wedding that wasn't fan drawn to match this one. Because that doesn't exist! But I do have my favorite point to make.

Beetlejuice's look into Lydia's future in Pest O' the West.

Now why you b*bes were busy being p*dos and gr**ming kids on the internet into thinking this shit is okay, I was mastering the art of common fucking sense.

Beej makes a joking remark that he cannot see into the future while hiding from Bully the Crud, but when he does as per usual, his puns and phrases make his magic go to work. So a crystal ball appears in front of him showing the future in the images I've provided.

Lydia, doing a heaping pile of dishes as a ghost for bully and all of their kids, very unhappy and driven insane. Because imagine what being married to someone it's obviously wrong to be with would do to her mind. He hates seeing her like this, so he rushes to save her. Which he successfully does.

Toon is actually the one with canon evidence of this shit being not okay to him.

Also before anyone tries to say it, no the movie and cartoon aren't connected, she doesn't even live in Winter River in the cartoon that should have made it obvious. Besides she's like 14-16 in the movie. So I don't think she de-aged.

Lastly, two things that are off topic. I believe it's spelled canon, and before anyone goes saying fiction doesn't effect reality, I would like you to explain to me how being a Jedi is a official religion if that is so true.

See anon! I gave you my special, condescending talk that too two hours to type on my phone! You stalked me endlessly and I picked you as the special anon that, I didn't deletes ask for being a gross piece of shit in a minors ask box! Wow. That searching my name clicking on my asks, and typing out all that so I could live rent free in your head really.... Didn't work lol. I may have took two hours to type this, but I assure you I will forget about you in 2 days max. Because unlike you, I have better things to do than ship a minor with an ancient demon. Bye bye now, be sure to rant about me with pure rage to your house p*do friends so that my existence may spread further into other people's minds! Woo... Being famous is so tough. 😉

[godlymvmi]

Donald Trumps racism through the years

Since there's always Trump supporters arguing on my post, I thought I’d make a nice post they'd be able to understand :)

1973: The US department of Justice sued the Trump Management Corporation for violating the Fair Housing act. Evidence was found that Trump had lied to black tenants about available apartments and refused to rent to black tenants.

1980s: According to a former employee, Trump would have all the black people in the casino ordered off the floor when Ivana and himself came to visit.These black employees would be moved to the back. In 1992 a $200,000 fine was issued towards the Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino for moving black men and women off tables. This was to accommodate a gamblers views and prejudices.

1989: During the infamous Central Park Five case, Trump ran an ad in a local paper stating they needed to “bring the death penalty back.” Even after the release of all five males, a settlement of $41 million paid by the city and DNA evidence proving they could not be guilty of this crime, Trump still believed they were guilty as late as October 2016. Oh, did I mention? Four of these teenagers were black and the fifth was latino. 

1991: A former president of Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, John O’Donnell, quoted Trumps comments on a black accountant. “Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day. … I think that the guy is lazy. And it’s probably not his fault, because laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can control.” Later on, Trump claimed “the stuff O’Donnell wrote about me is probably true,” while doing an interview for Playboy in 1977. 

1993: In a confessional testimony, Trump stated he didn't think some Native American reservations should be allowed to operate casinos as “they don't look like Indians to me.” In 2000, Trump secretly ran a series of ads after the St. Regis Mohawk tribe proposed a casino that he deemed to be a direct financial threat to his own establishments in Atlantic City. In these ads, Trump suggested the tribe had a “record of criminal activity (that) is well documented.” 

2005: After season two of Apprentice where Trump famously fired Kevin Allen, a black man, for seemingly being too educated, Trump publicly pitched the idea for what was essentially The Apprentice: White people vs black people.

2010: “Ground Zero Mosque” caused a lot of controversy during the year of 2010. This was a plan to build a Muslim community centre in Lower Manhattan, this being near the area of the 9/11 attacks in 2001. Trump offered to buy out one of the investors, claiming that this plan was insensitive and publicly opposed to the project. Later, on The Late Show with David Letterman, Trump argued his point further and said, “Well, somebody’s blowing us up. Somebody’s blowing up buildings, and somebody’s doing lots of bad stuff.”

2011: Trump, among others, played a huge role in pushing the false rumours that Obama, the first black president, was not born in the United States and still reportedly continues to push and believe this theory in private despite Obama releasing his birth certificate. In the same year, Trump also argued that Obama wasn't a good enough student for Columbia or Harvard Law school to accept him. “I heard he was a terrible student. Terrible. How does a bad student go to Columbia and then to Harvard?”

2015: When Trump started his campaign in 2015, it was largely focused around his desire and promise to build a wall to keep Mexican immigrants out of the United States and he called Mexican immigrants “rapists” and that they were “bringing drugs” and “bringing crime” to the United States. 

Also in 2015: During his time as a candidate 2015, Trump called for a ban on all Muslims coming into the US. Eventually, his administration did implement a watered down version of this policy. 

2016: Judge Gonzalo Curiel was overseeing the Trump University lawsuit in 2016 when Trump argued he should step down from the case. This was due to his Mexican heritage and his membership in a Latino lawyers association. 

Also in 2016: “You’re living in poverty, your schools are no good, you have no jobs, 58 percent of your youth is unemployed. What the hell do you have to lose?” Trump said as he tried to get black voters on his side. 

During this year, he also tweeted a picture of Hillary Clinton in front of a pile of money and a Jewish Star of David that said “Most corrupt candidate ever!” Despite the obviously anti-semitic imagery, Trump insisted the star was a sheriffs badge and maintained his campaign should not have deleted it.

He has repeatedly referred to Elizabeth Warren as “Pocahontas;” using her controversial and then walked back claims that she had Native American heritage as a punchline. 

2017: Trump attacked NFL players who chose to take the knee during the national anthem numerous times.

Also in 2017: Following the white supremacist protests in Charlottesville, Virginia, Trump claimed “both sides” were to blame for the violence and chaos that occurred. This suggests that the counter protestors protesting against racism and white supremacy were morally equivalent to the white supremacist protestors. He also claimed there were “some very fine people” among the white supremacists. White nationalist, Richard Spencer praised Trump for defending the truth.

Also in 2017: Trump reportedly claimed everyone who came to the US from Haiti “all have AIDS” and that people who came from Nigeria to the US “would never go back to their huts.” The following year (2018), Trump reportedly asked “Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?” He has since denied these comments but some senators attending the same meeting did claim this happened. 

2019: Trump mocked Elizabeth Warren and her presidential campaign, calling her Pocahontas again in a 2019 tweet before adding “See you on the campaign TRAIL, Liz!” The capitalisation of “Trail” is seemingly a reference to the Trail of Tears. This was a horrific ethnic cleansing of the Native Americans where they were forcibly relocated. This caused thousands of deaths.

Also in 2019: Trump took to twitter to tweet that several black and brown members of Congress: Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), Ayanna Pressley (D-MA), Ilhan Omar (D-MN), and Rashida Tlaib (D-MI), are from countries whose governments are a complete and total catastrophe” and that they should “go back” to said countries. Three of the four members of Congress targeted by Trump were, in fact, born in the US. 

2020: Trump has referred to COVID-19 as the “Chinese virus” and “kung flu.” This is highly offensive and large numbers of Asian Americans have reported hateful incidents targeting them due to the virus.

Also in 2020: Trump suggested that Kamala Harris, a black and south asian woman, “doesn't meet the requirements” to be Vice President. 

Trump has always been slow to condemn white supremacists who endorse him and during his 2016 campaign he retweeted multiple tweets from Neo-Nazis and white supremacists.

This is not even the full list and the article itself states its not a comprehensive list. But it does speak to his pattern of racism and bigotry. The article this list is from is linked below, I’d recommend everyone to read it and educate yourself using other resources as well. This isn't even the tip of the iceberg. I will also be making a post of his inappropriate, problematic and vile behaviour towards women. 

The article: https://www.vox.com/2016/7/25/12270880/donald-trump-racist-racism-history

[missdrarrydawn]

How embarrassing, comparing a crusty old anti-semite that's been dead for 140 years to an ACTIVE, world-renown terf that openly uses her popular IP to spread her hateful, harmful opinions and fund the oppression of marginalised people that are actually alive (and not dead for over a hundred years.) Like. You get how absurd that is, right? Please I need you to understand the utter cognitive dissonance one needs to compare a current person actively causing harm in real time to one that's been dead and therefore unable to paypal funds to hate groups for over A HUNDRED YEARS PLEASE WHIP OUT A CALENDAR AND CALCULATOR. It's like saying "Oh, we didn't have antobiotics 100 years ago so I guess I'll just go ahead and die of this completely preventable bacterial infection." Good lord I've seen some stupid takes from HP fans but yours takes the cake just pirate the shitty movies and be a terrible person that cares more about fiction than real, alive people in private

When Wagner was alive and perpetuating anti-semitism there were likely people like you saying the same thing to people who liked his music. When Tolkien was alive there were likely people like you saying the same things to LOTR fans. When Gertrude Stein was alive there were likely people like you saying the same things to fans of her books. All of the above examples are of famous world renowned artists who perpetuated anti-semitism, racism, fascism and whose art had fans both when they were alive and after their death. All of those people impacted and hurt marginalized groups during their lifetime with their actions and opinions (Wagner writing a piece about how Jewish people are ruining classical music, the racist tones in Tolkien's work, Stein declaring Hitler should win a Nobel Peace prize) and their deaths don't absolve them of that harm they caused. I'd also like to point out that the fact that the marginalized people who they hurt have died now doesn't make them less important or less significant in today's times either.

The people I listed as examples did the exact same things in their lifetime as Rowling is doing in her lifetime. Just because they're dead now doesn't magically make it irrelevant. Are Hitler's crimes irrelevant because he's dead? Are the North American indigenous people irrelevant because a lot of them are dead now? No, obviously not, genius.

One hundred and forty years from now, when Rowling is dead, will the harm she caused to trans communities be irrelevant just because she died and time has passed?

Just because someone can't cause harm to marginalized groups in this very moment (because of death) doesn't mean that the harm they caused marginalized group when they were alive is now magically erased, unimportant, and cannot be used as an example and an analogy for situations that are happening in this very moment.

I can't believe I have to explain that the past is the best teacher to someone in the 21st century, oh my God, anon.

Anyways, like I said, you can separate the art from the artist, but in this case you don't even need to do that, this is a matter of separating the fans from the artist. There is already many degrees of separation between a fan and an artist by default anyways, and the HP fandom has only disconnected, distanced and separated themselves even further from Rowling than we already were before.

Someone being a terrible, bigoted person does not inhibit them from creating meaningful art on some level and someone else enjoying and finding their own meaning in that art does not make them a terrible, bigoted person by default. That's what art is meant for: interpretation. Rowling's original intentions with the HP books don't matter when the HP community doesn't validate them or perpetuate them. You can intend something for your work all you like but if other people don't interpret your work as such, then your original intentions are all but completely irrelevant to the work in question and become obsolete. In this case that can only be a good thing though, because the intention was bigotry.

The HP fandom doesn't perpetuate terf ideology (have you even bothered to see how much trans positive fanart and fanfic exists in fandom? or the fandom events organized specifically for the purpose of uplifting the trans members of the community, like @hptransfest for example?) nor does it perpetuate racism (85% of all visual/written depictions of HP characters depict them as brown, black or desi, or just simply non-white in pretty much every way it matters).

When it comes to any fandom, there is one thing you have to remember, the author is dead. It doesn't matter what they want to be canon or nor, it doesn't matter which people or groups of people they want to love their books, it doesn't matter if they feel like their books are being loved the "wrong way", it doesn't even matter if they're alive or dead, because in fandom, the author is dead either way and completely irrelevant to the internal workings of the community.

Same goes for Rowling, she is dead to the HP fandom (which has, by the way, been a queer positive space way before she put her own bigotry on display, since the fandom has existed since the 90s pretty much), and the HP fandom does not perpetuate her views or harm.

Rowling doesn't get money from royalty sales of merch, even if some people do still buy it, which a large majority of the HP fandom doesn't do out of principle alone, she doesn't get verbal support from us nor monetary one, she isn't respected and HP has been reclaimed by the very same people she is trying to hurt.

I've repeated it a hundred times, but Chuck Tingle is possibly the greatest example of a hurt HP fan who found a way to reclaim the thing used to try to hurt them and turn it into something beneficial to themself (I'm unsure of the pronouns Chuck uses and I want to be respectful so I'm defaulting to 'they/them'.)

For a more recent example too, Anne Rice died not a few days ago. Her work has a lot of fans who create fanfiction and fanart, however Anne Rice herself wasn't exactly the nicest, she prosecuted her own fans with legal action and took a stand against fanfiction. She was openly hostile to her fandom and punished people for loving her books. By your own logic, those same fans of her books are anti-fandom too and anti-themselves because of her personal stances, which is an incredibly nonsensical thing to say.

For another analogy, children are created by their parents. So by your own logic, a child whose father is a murderer should be hated, avoided and everyone who became their friend should be shamed and driven away from them and told theyre bad, because the person that created the kid is a horrible person, therefore the kid is horrible too and can never have any meaningful message/is incapable of offering any sort of positivity/comfort etc.

See how that just doesn't fly?

You can love HP and hate J.K.Rowling, those two things are not a contradiction, especially considering the degree to which the HP fandom has divorced their existence from her at this point, just as you can love a person but hate their abusive parent.

She doesn't own HP just because she created it, because you can't own art. The moment those books were published was the moment they stopped being just hers and hers alone and started belonging to everyone who read them, enjoyed them, derived some sort of meaning out of them for their life or found any sort of comfort in them and the moment Rowling showed her true colors was the moment she became the antithesis of everything she claimed to stand for and lost all privilege, respect and support from the people that used to show her all those things.

If you can't see that anon, I pity your ignorance.

Your antibiotic analogy is complete shit btw, because unlike enjoying a piece of art which is a choice one makes for entertainment purposes, antibiotics are often life saving medications one must have in order to survive, so those two are absolutely not the same thing at all, nor are they similar by any margin of comparison.

[nonbinarychaoticstupid]

I'll Never forgive twitter who spread like wildfire that Noelle, a trans person who feels connection to shapeshifters, of being "nbphobic" because "DT is the only nb character and is morally gray and non human shapeshifter".

Oh and that them being a chameleon isn't because salamanders and chameleons are known for blending with their environment by deceiving predators, it's because Noelle wanted to make a lizard person because he hates Jews?? Sooo many goyim kept telling me this shit.

KJSHBNSKJJIDBNSJKHBNDDHBSHJSBH YEAH goyim need to shut up and let us speak for ourselves! like. we’re all entitled to our own opinions. but i REALLY don’t need someone who knows next to nothing about jews or what it’s like to be trans telling me how to feel about a character.

it’s the same thing as neurotypicals deciding they’re suddenly The Expert On Autism and writing whole threads on why s5 ep 2 is ableist and at the same time managing to imply that autistic people are stupid and can’t think for themselves and speaking directly over autistic people and treating us like we’re stupid and can’t think for ourselves and ‘don’t understand when we’re being oppressed’... hhh

twitter is a MESS tbh kjHGjHJnh like i can definitely understand why a nby person might have issues w dt (and you’re so valid btw) but i am not going to criticise or demonise a transgender person for making a character they feel is an accurate representation of their gender, or making a character something they identify with (and ngl double trouble is a pretty accurate representation of my gender, too). 

this is why i do my best to stay neutral in most fandom issues, mostly because 99% of them are fuelled by people who don’t GET to have a say in them (like the whole livestream thing being blown out of proportion specifically by white people exaggerating the issue to the point where suddenly noelle was ableist towards physically disabled people please lmk if i phrased that incorrectly /gen and nbyphobic AGAIN).

we also need to talk about the whole passive vs active thing - noelle is perfectly capable of making genuine mistakes, but they aren’t a racist, antisemitic, nbyphobic, or otherwise prejudiced person.

note: i say all of this with full understanding that people are capable having internalised prejudices towards their community (eg its fully possible to be butch and perpetuate butchphobic stereotypes, etc). but i also want to point out that in some (NOT ALL) cases, it becomes a matter of perspective. people have different viewpoints/opinions and those are all valid, unless they come from refusing to accept other people’s views/a place of prejudice. personally, i don’t have an issue with dt, but i can understand why other jews + nby people do, and i am willing to listen and give support to them, and i think their opinions are valid. 

you probably shouldn’t be having an opinion on what is nbyphobic and.or antisemitic if you aren’t trans or jewish, unless it comes from being genuinely informed on the subject and you’ve actually listened to the opinions of trans and jewish people on the topic itself. otherwise, you’re at risk of coming off as antisemitic/nbyphobic yourself. you start to prove that you prioritise being critical of the media you consume over the opinions and perspectives of real people. you also need to remember that not everyone is going to have the same opinion, and you should listen to as many different (INFORMED) takes on the topic as you can before making an informed decision on what to believe, and even then do NOT speak over the communities directly involved

this is very rambly but. tl;dr it is not your business to tell people what is/isn’t prejudiced against their community when you are not part of their community and doing so in fandom spaces can spread misinformation, which leads to people often stopping paying attention to said community and then treating them like they’re stupid and,,, h. 

it’s okay to be supportive of and help out communities but PLEASE i’m BEGGING YOU learn to let us speak for ourselves. PLEASE learn to at least wait for an actual consensus from members of the community before you start to discuss this. we’re grateful for your allyship, but you have to learn that that includes LISTENING TO US. we are not some endangered species, we aren’t stupid, we are real people who know how to recognise our own oppression.  

i have a LOT more thoughts on this but uhhh if you want to add to this/correct anything i’ve said/provide a different take/summarise this mess, go ahead!!!

[whitehotharlots]

Previewing the 2024 Democrat Primary

Within a couple weeks of his being sworn in, just about every person on earth will wish Joe Biden was no longer president. Sure, the few surviving John B. Anderson voters will be thrilled to see 4 years of crushing austerity and half-assed attempts at Keynesian stimulus. But most people will begin dreaming about a brighter future.

Good news! The 2024 Democratic primary field is going to contain dozens of options. Bad news! They are all going to be disgusting piles of shit. 

The “top tier”

While it’s too early to do any handicapping, these are the candidates the media will treat as having the most realistic chances of securing the nomination. 

Kamala Harris

Kamala did not win a single primary delegate in 2020. This is because she dropped out before the first primary, and that was because no one likes her. She has no base beyond a few thousand of twitter’s most violent psychos. Her disingenuousness approaches John Edwards levels: any halfway incredulous person can see immediately beyond her bullshit. She has no principles whatsoever, and while that may be par for the course for Democrats, she lacks even the basic politician’s ability to intuit anything that might, hypothetically, constitute a principle. 

Even better: she is an awful public speaker. She sounds like how a talking dog would speak if he were just caught stealing people food off the kitchen table. She communicates in weird grunts and faux sassy squeaks, which is how she imagines real black women sound like, but something about her is unable to sell the bit. She begins her sentences in halfhearted AAVE, stops and panics halfway through as she realizes that maybe this sounds fake and offensive, and then reminds herself oh wait, no, this is okay since I’m black. This doesn’t happen once or twice per speech. This is how every single sentence sounds. 

Kamala is like Nancy Pelosi in that no sketch show will ever impersonate her correctly, because anything that came close to authenticity would be considered far too cruel. This might benefit her in the primaries, as she exists in the minds of Democrats as someone and something she absolutely is not in reality. Nominating her would be like allowing your child’s imaginary friend to attempt to drive you to the store. 

Andrew Cuomo

Easily one of the 50 worst people alive, Cuomo has a solid chance because Democrats, same as Republicans, are unable to differentiate between electability and self-serving ruthlessness. Cuomo used the deadliest public health crisis in American history as a pretext for cutting Medicaid and firing 5,000 MTA workers, and his approval rating increased. New York Dems are little piggies who love eating shit. If we assume that the political media will continue their habit of refusing to discuss the legislative history of right wing Democrats, Cuomo might well cruise to the nomination and then lose to literally any human being the GOP nominates by an historic margin. 

Joe Biden

The party loves him because he is a right wing racist. “Progressives” tolerate him because black primary voters over 40 supported him, and their opinion is supposedly a magic window into god’s truth. Everyone else can tell he is manifestly senile. I don’t put it above the DNC to pick a candidate who is in horrible health, dying, or even dead--whatever the financial sector wants, they’ll get. But I would be shocked if his approval rating is above 39% by mid-2023, and by that point deep fake technology will be advanced enough they’ll put out a very lifelike video in which the Max Headroom version of Joe explains he’s proud of his accomplishments--that budget’s almost balanced already--but, man, I gotta abd--I gotta abdica--, uhh, I gotta, I, uhh, I gotta move down, man. 

Wild Cards

These candidates would have all have a chance if they ran, but they could all much more easily retire to Little Saint James off of kickbacks they’ve gotten from Citibank and I.G. Farben. 

Rahm Emanuel

Rahm is going to receive some hugely influential post in the Biden administration. Let’s say he becomes Secretary of Education. His signature achievement will be replacing all elementary school teachers with Amazon’s Alexa, which saved the taxpayers so much money we were able to quadruple the number of armed police officers we put into high schools. This will give him several thousand positive profiles on network news programs and the near-universal support of the Silicon Valley vampires who will own 99% of the country by the time Biden’s term ends. They will use their fancy mind control devices to convince geriatic primary voters that Rahm’s the one who will bring Decency back to the white house. His candidacy will be the paragon of wokeness, as expressing concern toward the fact that he covered up the police murder of a black guy will get you called a racist. 

Rahm has a bonus in that Jewish men are now Schrodeniger’s PoC. When they are decent human beings, they are basic, cis white men who are stealing attention from disabled trans candidates of color. When they love austerity and apartheid, they become the most vulnerable people of color on earth and criticizing them in any way is genocide. No one will be able to mention a single thing Rahm has ever done or said without opening themselves to accusations of antisemitism, and that gives him a strong edge against the rest of the field. The good news is that an Emmanuel candidacy would result in over 50% of black voters choosing the GOP candidate--which, I guess that’s not really good but it would certainly be funny. 

Gavin Newsom

Newsom is every bit as feckless as Cuomo, but he doesn’t put off the same “bad guy in an early Steven Segal movie” vibes. He will mention climate change 50 times per speech and no one will bother to mention how he keeps signing fracking contracts even though his state is now on fire 11 months of the year. If anything, this will be spun into an argument about how he’s actually the candidate best suited to handle all the water refugees gathering on the southern border. Look for his plan to curb emissions by 10% by the year 2150 to get high marks from Sierra Club nerds. He’s also a celebate librarian’s idea of what constitutes a handsome man, so he’ll have some support from the type of women who claim to hate all men. 

Larry Summers

I mean, why not? Larry, like most members of the Obama administration, has politics that are eerily similar to those of Jordan Peterson. In normal circumstances, this makes a person a dangerous fascist who should not be platformed. But if that person has a D next to their name this makes them a realistic pragmatist who has what it takes to bring suburban bankers into our tent. If current trends in Woke Phrenology continue apace, Larry’s belief that women are inherently bad at STEM will be liberal orthodoxy by 2023, and his dedication to the Laffer Curve could see him rake in massive donations. Seriously, I’m not kidding: cultural liberalism is now fully dedicated to identity essentialism and balanced budgets. Larry is their ideal candidate. If he were black and/or a woman, I’d put him in the very top tier. 

Jay Inslee

Unlike Newsom, Inslee’s attempt to crown himself the King of Global Warming won’t be immediately derailed, since his state is only on fire because of protestors. This, however, poses a different problem. He’s going to be a good test case for the Democrat’s uneasy peace with the ever increasing share of the electorate who become catatonic upon hearing a pronoun. On the one hand, you need to take their votes for granted. On the other hand, they’re not like black people or regular gays: most voters actively, consciously despise wokies, and associating yourself with them will ruin a campaign even in deep blue areas. There’s still gonna be riots in a year. Biden’s gonna announce the sale of all our nation’s potable water to the good folks at Nestle and some trans freak named Sasha-Malia DeBalzac is going to use that as an opportunity to sell their new pamphlet about how it’s fascist to not burn down small businesses. No matter what Inslee does in response, it’ll end his career. 

AOC

I’m not one of those “AOC is a secret conservative” weirdos, but I am aware enough of basic reality to know she has zero chance of coming close to the nomination. The right and the center both regard her as a literal demon. The party is already blaming her for the fact that a handful of faceless Reagan acolytes failed to flip their suburban districts even though they ran on sensible pragmatic proposals like euthanizing the homeless. The recriminations will only get more unhinged when the Dems eat shit in the 2022 midterms. She will be a Russian, she will be white male, she will be a communist, she will be a homophobe: any insult or conspiracy theory you can name, MSNBC will spend hours discussing. Her house seat challenger will receive a record amount of support from the DNC in 2024 and it’ll be all she can do to remain in congress.

Larry Hogan

Don’t be dissuaded by the fact that he’s a Republican. Larry is the DNC’s ideal candidate: a physically repulsive conservative who owes his entire career to appealing to the most spiteful desires of suburban white people. He’s an open racist in a material sense--if you’re old-school enough to think racism is a matter of beliefs and actions, rather than the presence of cultural signifiers--but his is the beloved “never Trump” style of racism that Dems covet. He’s also a Proven Leader who thinks the role of government should be to finance the construction of investment property and give police the resources they need to run successful drug trafficking operations. Few people embody the Democrat worldview more than Larry. 

The Losers Bracket

These people will have at least a small chance due solely to the fact that the Democrats love losing. They have lost in the past, and in the Democrat Mind that makes them especially qualified.

Joe Kennedy

The man looks like a mushroom-human hybrid from a JRPG. Trump proved that physical hideousness need not doom a presidential bid, but a candidate still needs some kind of charm or oratorical abilities or, god forbid, a decent platform. Joe aggressively lacks all of these things. A vanity campaign would be a good way to raise money and perhaps secure an MSNBC gig, so Joe might still run. 

Mayor Pete 

I am 100% convinced that Pete’s 2020 run was a CIA plot meant to prevent working class Americans from ever having a chance of living decent lives. I am also 100% aware that Democrats are dumb enough to enthusiastically support a CIA plot meant to prevent working class Americans from ever having a chance of living decent lives. If we have some sort of military or terror disaster between now and 2023 the Dems are sure to want a TROOP, and wait wait wait you’re telling me this one is a gay troop? Holy hell there’s no way that could lose!

Stacy Abrams

Never underestimate the power of white guilt. She lost the gubernatorial race to Gomer Pyle’s grandson, and her spiritual guidance of the Dems saw the party lose black voters in Georgia in 2020. Nonetheless, she is regarded as a magic font of fierceness within the DNC. She might stand a chance if she can establish herself as the most conservative non-white candidate in the field, but there’s going to be stiff competition for that honor.

Elizabeth Warren

Liz is probably angry that the party so shamelessly sold her out even after she was a good little girl and sabatoged Bernie’s campaign for them--yet another example of high ranking US government officials reneging on their promises to the Native American community. Smdh. The fact that this woman hasn’t been bankrupted a dozen times over by various Wallet Inspectors genuinely astounds me. So Liz is probably going to run again, and her campaign will be even sadder the second time around. 

It might surprise you to hear this if you don’t work at a college or NGO, but Liz diehards actually do exist. She’ll get even less support this time because there will be no viable leftist in the field for her to spoil, but she’ll still hang in long enough to make sure the very worst possible candidate beats out the second worst possible candidate. Maybe she’ll fabricate a rape accusation against Sherrod Brown. Maybe she’ll spend her entire allotted debate time doing a land acknowledgment. With Liz, anything is possible--so long as it ends in failure. 

Amy Klobuchar 

Amy was the most bloodthirsty of the 2020 also rans. She will double down on the unpopular failures of the Biden administration, explaining that if you weren’t such a selfish idiot you’d love the higher social security retirement age and oh my god are so such a moron you think you shouldn’t go bankrupt to get a COVID vaccine? There’s a non-unsubstantial segment of the Democratic base that’s self-hating enough to find this appealing, but it won’t be enough to make her viable. 

Martha Coakley

She lost Ted Kennedy’s senate seat to a retarded man who was pretending to be even more retarded than he actually was. Then she lost a gubernatorial race to a guy who openly promised Massachusetts voters that he would punish them for electing him. Her record of failure is unparalleled, making her perhaps the ideal Democrat standard bearer for the twenty twenties. 

[masteroftheblade]

What are your favorite and least favorite animes? Why do you like/dislike them?

oh god here we go lmao 🤠👍 prepare for an entire novel as always lol

my favorite animes atm are Naruto, Dragon Ball, Attack on Titan, and Claymore. Overall, my favorite genre of anime is shonen (and in case you dont know what that is, its basically shows that are marketed to young boys. it'll have shit like superpowers and poorly written female characters). My least favorite genre is Shoujo (marketed at young girls). I honestly don't hate the entire genre, I just hate how much romance is in there since im pretty romance-repulsed. If there were more Shoujo series like Claymore, I'd probably be in love w/ it. I'll start talking about these shows individually, starting w/ Naruto.

1. Naruto.

Honestly, the only reason I started watching Naruto was because my friends peer pressured me into doing it, and it actually differed from what I expected it to be story-wise. The beginning of the show started off amazing; it had excellent world building, magic systems, interesting characters, and it attempted to address how messed up the whole shinobi system is. But then Naruto got on the front page of Shonen Jump, and everything went down from there. It started to focus more on cool fight scenes than the actual plot. I wont get too much into that, because you can literally find entire blogs dedicated to dissecting that, but Naruto killed itself w/ its own popularity. That said, I love the characters and world building and I can look past most of its flaws anyway.

Would I recommend reading/watching it? Yes, but only to say you did it for bragging rights. Don't go into watching Naruto if you want deep looks into imperialism and militarized governments, because you will get the complete opposite of that :P Also the best way to watch it is to watch it with friends.

2. Dragon Ball.

I only started watching DB about a month ago, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I think its a garbage series. The fight scenes have little to no weight to them, because no matter what, the protagonist of that episode will always succeed in some way. For example, when Goku (a 12 y/o boy) was fighting Giran (a 10ft tall godzilla man) and was getting his ass beat until Goku just... randomly grows back his tail that was cut off earlier and wins. We are never told why he grew back his tail, and i think he only gets it back so he can have a cool fight scene in a later episode. Goku can literally be battling genocidal gods and he will still always win. The show also goes out of its way to sexualize/show a female character being harrassed. Every. Fucking. Episode.

That said, it is a fun show, and I really enjoy watching it. Like Naruto, I really love the characters and the world they are in, I just hate the way it was handled, and its painfully obvious that DB was made by a bunch of old men in the 80s. Unlike Naruto, however, I really appreciate how simple it is. It doesn't force a narrative about space genocide or whatever being bad, and I'm very thankful because that kind of narrative would be absolutely botched in this kind of series. It's also nice to have a show that doesn't take itself too seriously. Shows like AOT are amazing and important, but those shows can be overwhelming with their heavy subject matter. I would only recommend watching DB if you want to see some really good art/character design. Don't take the show seriously, and you'll have a good time.

3.Attack On Titan.

This anime was actually the first I've ever seen! I saw the very first episode when it aired in 2014, so I'm definetely biased in that regard, but I still try to look at this show in the most objective way I can. This show does almost everything right. The pacing, the characters, the art, the plot, you name it. It takes a concept that looks silly on paper and turns it into this grueling story about war, politics, and the trauma of being a soldier. It never treats it's characters like they're only one-dimensional, or like they are there just for one purpose only. These characters feel human in a way Naruto and Dragon Ball could never be. But there is one thing that has me concerned about this show, and its about the weirdly anti-Semitic undertones it has.

You probably heard the controversy already, but it really effected the way people on the outside of the fandom view the series. The show is heavily inspired by European culture, specifically that of Germany, and there are an ethnic group of people called The Eldians in the show that are pretty anti-Semitic in this kind of setting. The Eldian people have the capability of turning into Titans, and the Titans are what divided the world and killed millions. As a result, another group of people started doing the shit the Nazis did to Jewish people, basically making the Eldians into this weird allegory for the holocaust??? Which was kind of a shock to me when I first realized that was the angle they were going for. I genuinely did not expect that considering what the series started off as. The foreshadowing is there and all, I just didn't think they'd use real-world events as inspiration.

Now, this actually has the complete opposite problem Naruto and DB had. Naruto and DB had amazing ideas and concepts that went to shit, AOT's whole holocaust narrative was trash from the beginning.

The show could have easily had a different kind of social/political commentary without even going near the holocaust narrative. It comes off as kind of a half assed idea that people put way too much effort in, so it's kind of in this weird grey-area between "modern anime masterpiece" and "what the fuck were they trying to get across with this show?". If you asked me what the moral of the show was, I wouldn't be able to tell you.

Now, because of the fact that the Eldians can literally turn into man-eating beasts, this makes the comparison of Jewish people and Eldians very racist, and it doesn't help that Japan is still full of legitimate Nazis, making the whole situation look even worse. Since I am not Jewish, I wont speak for other Jewish people. There is a very heated debate on whether the show is racist, and frankly I don't think it's within my right to say if it is or isn't. What I will say, is that I really loved the show and appreciated the social commentary it provided, and I think a lot of people would benefit from watching it, but I think it's also important to listen to Jewish people's views on the show. For this reason, I specifically avoid reblogging AOT stuff, but I do love that show and I wont hate on people who do reblog stuff from it. It's definitely not a light watch, but it does provide a lot of thinking material.

4. Claymore.

This. Show. Was. Amazing. But. Underrated.

First off, this is a shonen show that is led by a majority female cast and a female protagonist, and all of those women are badass swordwielding lesbians and I love it. Second, the art style is beautiful. Third, the story is really interesting from so many angles, so much so I am not even going to mention what its about because you dont need to know, you just need to watch it and see what happens. The first season was an absoloute ride of a show, and if you love shows like AOT or Berserk, you'll love Claymore. Honestly, this show was what AOT should have tried to be. It also has its fair share of militarized imperialist commentary, but this is the only show on this list that actually fucking critiques imperialist ideals and has a main character that actively refuses to participate in that kind of oppressive system, choosing to fight it all together.

But the show got fucking cancelled right before the first arc even finished. You can thank shows like Naruto for that 🙃🙃🙃

10/10 Would reccomend, but just be prepared to be left on a major cliffhanger. You can try reading the manga, but it's kind of hard to follow since all of the warrior girls look the same.