#also im v glad that i was able to do this because i was feeling particularly writers block-y today so this is good

[moeblob]

North and Simon: (shaking hands on killing Simon potentially)

[n4h354]

Once paper boats, now warships Seven folds of man’s ego trip Paper hearts were made to rip

Murals of faces, blacked with grime Drones and bombs sing lullabies at bedtime This is what happens when art is crime

Soured frosting on a birthday cake Exit wounds in place of heartache The school is rubble at daybreak

No words to voice their consternation Children forged in revolution Become its teeth, its serration

Paper hearts, folded once, now folded twice Shown dreams of ecstasy and paradise Paper hearts, misguided, now folded thrice

Young men take despots for commanders Trained in death, destruction, and slander Their graves marked only by pink oleander

Paper hearts, creased, unfolded Children turned to men blindfolded By zealots, fear, and hunger moulded

This is not about you or me This happens to be what happens to be Or are you, too, blindfolded and cannot see?

[liyatime]

“ spread your legs ” . . | ˙✧˖°📷 ༘ ⋆｡˚ (enjoy!)

📷 pairing ; mark lee x tm!reader

📷 genre ; smut

📷 cw ; male x transmale/cuntboy intercourse , cursing , kissing , cunnilingus , fingering , c in v sex , vaginal descriptions , raw sex (wrap it before you tap it!)

mark lee , one of the smartest kids on your college campus not only happened to be a top student but he was also your boyfriend of a strong 3 years.

he spoils you so much you dont even know it like buying your lunches for you , paying for your dorm rent , and all around spending a ton of money on you. mark also spoils you by taking you on car rides , he drives you multiple places without asking for gas money and often takes you on trips , like today. he called you out to the parking lot during a fairly busy day saying that he wanted to eat out with you.

you walked out the college building with your tote bag on your shoulder that was filled to the brim with books and your laptop. you were on your phone looking for places nearby to eat at when you looked up and saw mark’s navy blue hooded convertible and him waving at you.

you did a light jog towards his car and leaned onto it giving him a peck on the lips. “i didn’t bother you? calling you out of class like this?” he asked unlocking the car. you walked around to the passenger side and got in , “not at all , i’d tell you if it was a problem. honestly i’m kinda glad i got out of there.” you said smiling. he smiled back and started up the car , “i found a place already, it’s not far from here.” mark said , backing up his car and getting on the road.

on the way to the place mark picked out you guys joked around and laughed , talked about school stuff (which was honestly kind of boring) and listened to music. both your music tastes were diverse but you guys enjoyed critiquing each others choices. you guys also looked at the menu of the place and decided ahead of time what you guys should order , most of the options looked delicious but what matters is how it tasted , mark's the only person who's been here before so he told you to wait and that it'd be a surprise.

the both of you soon arrived at a restaurant-type establishment , with the awkward name of it that you couldn't pronounce it must've been french or italian or something.. but before you could step out of the car mark grabbed your hand and locked the doors , "hold on.. i gotta tell you something," he paused and put his fist over his mouth before trying to explain "— i actually brought you here for something else." he said with nervousness in his voice , "you know we haven't been able to like.. do it because were busy , so i brought you to this uh.. place , because if we did it on the college campus a lot of people would find out and i really wanted to try car sex and i didnt know how to tell you and like—" "mark. it's fine , you could've just told me." you said laughing, "you're such a nervous wreck when it comes to sex like we haven't done it before , but in a car? im excited." you said.

"so this is okay? You're right though , i should've just told you.." mark facepalmed. "I told you its fine mark , if anything you made me really horny , having sex in a parking lot feels exciting." he blushed at your words. "really?" "yeah!" you replied "we should.. get in the backseat then right?" he asked. "yeah.." you two were awkward about this , but mostly mark because he thought you'd think he was weird and gross for wanting to have sex in public and tell everyone on campus , so now that you admitted it made you horny he got excited and was ready to fuck you so bad. mark and you lowered the front seats forward so you'd have more room in the back and then hopped in , immediately jumping to making out.

mark ran his hands all over your body , but he was OBSESSED with your waist , he loved holding it especially when he felt jealous or possessive. you smiled as you kissed him. you both slowly moved into a laying position as he unbuckled your belt and unbuttoned your jeans to gain access to your pussy through your boxers. he threw your jeans on the center console along with your belt and and began rubbing your clit through your boxers , feeling how wet you've gotten in the past minute. you moaned and held onto the door behind you , "fuckkk..." you stretched out the word at the feeling of him toying with you , slightly lifting your hips. he soon removed your boxers and looked at the color of your pussy , admiring how it looked when it was soaked in your juices. he placed his hands at the back of your knees and pressed your legs to your chest then licked a stripe up your cunt and placed a wet kiss onto your clit.

you cried out in pleasure. whenever mark ate you out it was amazing , you're the first partner he's ever had with a vagina but he knew exactly what to do. he must've been studying up for your sake. top student on campus , top student at eating pussy. "is this good?" he said , rubbing his thumb up and down your folds. "yeah.. keep going.." you responded out of breath from moaning. mark reached over to his glove box in the front and pulled out a packet of lube , ripping it open with his teeth and spreading it all over your cunt and his fingers. "take a deep breath (m/n).." he said , sliding his middle finger into you slowly and thrusting it in and out. you threw your head back and gripped the door handle , moaning out your boyfriends name and whimpering. "it's alright baby , i got you." he said , leaning over and giving a tender kiss in which you melted into.

mark inserted a second finger into your sopping cunt , "you're so fucking wet.." he said before dipping down and having a make out session with your clit , running his tongue over it and flicking it with his tongue. "mark im gonna cum.." you said biting your lip and putting your hand in his hair. this only made him suck on your clit harder and faster. you couldn't take the pleasure anymore and came so hard , a clear liquid shot out your pussy and onto mark's face and seats. he slid his two fingers side to side on your cunt as you let loose and immediately went back to eating you out. you were so sensitive and he was so hungry.

mark lifted his head back up and started unbuckling his belt and discarding it , taking the rest of the lube in the packet and spreading it all over his cock. he looked at you like he was a fox and you were the rabbit he couldn't wait to devour , his cheeks were red and he was sweating from his forehead. he slid his cock over your clit and between your folds and gave you a hard kiss , rubbing his tongue against yours and pulling on your bottom lip with his teeth. "mark.." you said , reaching your hand forward and rubbing his cock again your entrance. he smirked and took his cock , slowly sliding it into your entrance. your eyes rolled back but before you could let out a moan he took it out teasingly. you honestly werent having it. "put it in..!" you said , rubbing your clit and looking into his eyes. he laughed and inserted his tip back into your cunt , doing this a couple more times until he snapped his hips against yours and started thrusting into you at a fast pace.

mark replaced your fingers rubbing your clit with his thumb as you moaned his name and let out a whimper each time his hips met yours. the only noises in the car were grunting and the sound of skin slapping against skin. "fuckkk (m/n).." he groaned. he watched as your eyes rolled back into your head and you lifted your hips up so his thrusts were angled directly towards your prostate , your head fell onto the car seat and you gripped his arms. "im gonna fucking cum!" you exclaimed. "fuckin' squirt again for me.." mark commanded , after he said that you immediately squirted all over his dick as he pulled out and rubbed your clit. he then put his cock back into your pussy to help you ride out your high. "s..shit.." he stuttered , pulling his dick out and cumming all over your glistening cunt with his mouth wide open. mark was panting and so you , you were both wet and sweaty making the car smell like sex. he'll definitely need to air out the car and buy air fresheners for future purposes.

mark leaned down and made out with you , tracing the sides of your face with his palm and holding you by your waist. "we need to have car sex more often.." he said smiling. you giggled at his joke and held him close , eventually having to let go. "we should go to our dorm and get new clothes.. they're really wet.." you said. "Lets go." he agreed , giving you one last peck on your cheek before putting his soaked clothes back on just for the ride back.

lets hope nobody questions why he smells like that when he walks through the halls.

c/n: HI IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK LONGER THAN I SAID TO PUT OUT! my job has me busy and im still buying furniture for my home , im going for a modern look so i gotta save up and work hard to get what i want!! i noticed i improved in my writing, especially when writing smut because i used to skip the prep parts and it was so bad 😭 . im a virgin so writing smut is a struggle but im always on tumblr so reading others smut fics and studying up on anatomy and how sex like WORKS was a big help to me. i still suck at dialogue but practice makes almost perfect! i hope you guys enjoy this work more than my others, cuz they really suck lol. 💙

[primoppang]

hi. hi. here to request. a little seungmin fluff where we are kind of lonely and sad and he reminds us that he’s always there : )

HI HONEY TY FOR BEING MY FIRST EVER REQUEST <3333 ily and seungie so I got u bby ◡̈ mwah ur the best ( ˘ ³˘)♡

warning: swearing is inevitable with me sorry ¯\_(˶′◡‵˶)_/¯, fluff, like gross amounts of it, seungmin says "this is so gay but..." because he cringes at showing affection but refuses to let you forget how he feels about you fr, he's a tsundere ok? ok. he licks your face(?) , one (1) kiss, he joking threatens to fight you, and mentions of self doubt and anxiety, angst if you blink but I think it's mostly fluffy... anyways! lmk if I missed anything!!!

WC: a little under 500 :D

AN: this is the first drabble I've ever done in bullet point format so just pls lmk how it goes??? Im super nervous I hope it's at least an easy read :(

so the first time he realizes that you're feeling lonely he slaps himself internally because how DARE he make you feel that way, but he's not home rn and can't show you physically so he comes up with a Plan™️

you're literally the light of his life

so he just >:(

but not at u

he just wants to make you feel happy and loved and safe

so he starts brainstorming

but he's naturally a menace

so when you're texting with him while he's working and you're being kinda short

because yk

u just feel :(

he just sighs and texts back

"look, please don't feel sad. I know this is pretty fucking gay but I love you."

which makes u giggle

because that's YOUR seungie that YOU know and love so much

<3

BUT whenever he's able to be physically with you and he can just feel your self doubt and anxiety creeping in and trying to swallow you, he once again uses his braincell.

so he just grabs ur hand

and leads u out of ur bed and to the living room

sits u down

and starts running around ur shared apartment grabbing every blanket and pillow that exists within the space

and I mean

E V E R Y. S I N G L E. O N E.

puppy zoomies moment hehe

and don't even think about trying to question him

he'll just say "shut up and wait while I set up a big ass fort for us to cuddle in, ok?? I love you but I wanna make u SEE THAT."

which u smile at

because him telling u to shut up

but then explaining why

and then also watching him move furniture and start building the fort, you tear up with happy tears

because???

:(

he's the sweetest and u love him so much

but when he hears u sniffle

he turns on Extra Puppy Mode™️

pops out from under some blankets and tackles you into the couch and holds your face

wiping ur tears

maybe even licked one because he's a freak and wanted to get a reaction

which u just squealed at bc wtf sir

but then he realizes

oh ur crying because ur so touched by this whole thing that he's doing

!!!

"... you dummy. stop crying... we gotta get snacks and stuff for our super awesome fort yk??? and you won't be able to see if you're cryi—"

you cut him off by giving him a little kiss on his pouty lips

as a silent thank you :(

which he realizes that oops maybe he got too serious and overwhelming

but you reassured him that you're just so glad to have him as your partner and best friend in one :(

"please just remember that I do love you, and I'm always here even if that brain of yours tells you otherwise, ok? or I'll have to fight you... affectionately."

and then he proceeds to smother you in kisses and cuddles :(

[cripplecharacters]

hi, me again! the advice from the last ask was super very helpful, and i have that characters mask figured out now ^_^ i have a question tho, about a v different set of characters.

so im planning this comic about a sort of cyberpunkish dystopian world, the precise worldbuilding is still fuzzy. anyway one of the protagonists is a wheelchair user due to a genetic condition. i envision her as crafty and intelligent, but i don't want to have her character fall into the whole 'wheelchair tech nerd/man in the chair' thing.

so i want to give her a lot of upper body strength, where she can do cool and difficult feats- she also carries weapons on her and stuff. yknow, cool character things right, kind of upped for storytelling purposes

and this may be a silly question but i don't know if there's a point where the kind of things she's able to do would have her seem not disabled? like she doesn't use her legs for any of these things, and she can't walk really at all, but i don't want to do the whole 'character has ability that negates the disability'. hm this feels dumber the more i write idk

also if you're going to read all this i might as well give you a drawing of her. her name is Strike thank you for reading i hope you can answer ty

[id: a drawing of a black woman with blue ponytails, a black tank top with green edges, and a utility belt. she is in a wheelchair, and has one arm behind her head. above the drawing are the words, "Moira 'Strike' Lenore". next to the drawing are three doodles: the first one is the same woman in her wheelchair showing the middle finger, the second is the same woman with a happy expression, and the third is a different character in a coat standing dramatically. end id]

^did i do that right. thank you again

Hello lovely asker!

hello again, I'm glad one of our mods was able to help you! Also there are no silly or dumb questions here <3.

So a character's strength—especially if they use mobility aids or a wheelchair in this question—does not negate the fact that they are still disabled. And in reality, a lot people who use walkers, wheelchairs, etc have ridiculous upper body strength. If the character mostly depends on their arms for stability, movement, transferring, then you end up building those muscles because of lifting either heavy mobility aids or having to lift your own weight.

All this is very realistic actually! And the design is really cute too (I love the hair). Happy writing!

~ Mod Virus 🌸

[squiddy-god]

NRVWX Satan wedding alphabet

Re upload from Terminated blog squid-god-supreme, hope you enjoy this

N-Night time (what about the wedding night? the time after the party?maybe even the more spicy wedding night activities)

Ohohohohohoh

So after the party, when he finally gets you back to the house of lamentation and your FINALLY all alone satan takes a moment to just hold you

Like wow, he almost can’t believe that this has finally happened

So he takes a minute to hold you, no talking, no annoying brothers barging in and ruining the moment

Just you and him, together, peaceful and sweet.

Now after all that mushy stuff is over satan is more than ready to get on with the more spicy wedding night activities

Chances are you’ve both done it before so you both know each others bodys but this time feels…different

This time is really special.

And so its a lot more gentle, no kinky stuff, just sweet gentle love making, nothing extreme, its intimate and vulnerable.

R- Rest of our life (do they want to spend the rest of their life with you? Do they ever want this moment to end?)

Look, he’s a demon, he knows that he’s probably going to live muchhhhh longer than you unless he can find something in a book-

However if his proposal is anything to go by, he also thinks that your soul mates, star crossed lovers that are meant to be (god i love his proposal)

So id say yes, he wants to spend as long as he can with you by his side, his precious y/n, his sweet human, his soulmate.

And if he can find a way to spend an eternity together, then of course he’d take it

He loves you, he wouldn’t have married you if he didnt, i imagine marriage is very important to demons because it isn’t exactly like human marriage

He loves you so much and he wants you with him forever, and even if he loses you he knows he’ll find you again, because your soulmates.

V-Vows! (what are your vows to each other)

His; “y/n, i love you deeply, in my bones i know that i love you, it burns inside me as bright a flame as my rage, being with you is better than reading any book in the 3 relms, being able to kiss you, having you accept me, its bliss, it makes me feel hole, like im ME, because you love me, i know it sounds sappy but…your my soulmate, just like in the book i want us to have a happy ending, i want us to keep writing this book together. I love you y/n”

Yours ; “satan, i love you truly, the love i feel for you fills me with warmth and makes butterflies float in my stomach. You’ve never quite been an open book, always sealed shut and locked away, but i’m so unbelievably glad that you opened up to me, let me read the writing you keep hidden away. I love all of you, your tears, your anger, the walks we take at night, all of you. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs, a lot of missteps and fumbles, but we’ve always worked through them together, and I want to keep doing that, because you’re my soulmate, and i’m yours.”

W- Walking down!! (what do they feel when your walking down the aisle)

Joy, pride, calmness

Satan feels a serge of joy rush through him, you’re marrying him, you’re choosing to spend your life with him, how could he not be happy? You’re so beautiful as you walk down, walking towards him with nothing but love, he feels happy and warm inside.

He also feels pride, you love HIM, your marrying HIM, out of all the demon, angles, and humans you’re walking down the aisle towards him, your his and he’s yours, the amount of pride he has knowing that fact sends him over the moon, your perfect to him, and knowing that your walking towards him is a massive ego boost

See you makes him feel calm, everyone has doubts, even the cool and collected satan was worried, mind flooded with what if’s and imagination running wild with possibilities, but seeing you walk down the aisle towards him makes him feel calm, the worries washing away and becoming peaceful, he feels at ease and reassured seeing you.

X- Xtra! (a random hc about the wedding)

Mammon cries, mammon is legit balling his eyes out so lucifer has to shut him up

Lucifer is the one who walks you down the aisle

Everything is very subtly cat themed, little decorations on the note cards, small hints to cats, at first glance it’s all normal but in reality it’s all slightly cat themed.

[hanasnx]

dilf!ani has had time to come to terms with how he’s ur literal sex symbol. like when i think dilf it’s this quiet air of confidence - he’s experienced enough with you to know you’ll do pretty much do anything and now really wants to branch out. not necessarily jus kink wise but location like HE WILL GLADLY TAKE U ANYWHEREEE ANYTIME and bc he doesn’t gaf what people think atp he will abandon all social etiquette to have you. leave events early to make you please him otw home after you teased him in public, beg you to be louderr without caring if people hear. he’s jus a lil rougher round the edges like sometimes makes the slightest dad grunt sounds when he’s tired/standing up after being sat for ages lmao but like in a hot way !

of course ani always has that desperation seeping thru but he channels it better now, his praise is more reluctant: ‘didn’t believe you were gonna be able to sit here all by yourself while i was away but you’re here just as i left you, soaking yourself waiting for me - can’t wait to reward you’ *rewarding u means some shit like an aromatherapy massage he’s lowkk into the domestic stuff now*

like real quick smut aside he’s puttin in WORK around the residence.. deffo wearing an apron regularly to do like household maintenance shit and the apron stays on during..🫠 idek LoL also his few grey hairs turn u on 🦾

LUV UR WRITING SO V MUCH TY FOR UR SERVICE ALWAYS! never sent u anything before this but have truly admired ur work from afar :) <3

describing him as having a "quiet air of confidence" is so real anon. he's just the guy that has shit figured out, things are easier when he's around especially if the odds seemed insurmountable before he showed up.

this line: "he will abandon all social etiquette to have you" got me crazyyyyyy. because he barely relied in social etiquette his entire life, until he got older and rebellion wasn't as necessary for him to feel heard. he's mellowed out somewhat. and i say that very loosely.

"leave events early to make you please him otw home after you teased him in public" making you jack/blow him while he's driving you both home... or letting him stick his fingers in you while he's got one hand on the wheel.

that bit about him making noise when he sits down oh my god... sooo daddy im not even kidding. need him to be tired of my shit and tired in general.

the fact you added: "his praise is more reluctant" bcos that's so fucking true oh my god. takes more to earn his respect and his loyalty because of all the life he's lived. not much impresses him. you'd have to go above and beyond. ""you're here just as i left you."" hubba fucking hubba.

his gray hairs most definitely turn me on oh my fucking godddd no like you'd card your fingers through it, and his tired eyes would fall shut bcos of how good your nails feel. he'd slack a little while you're talkin sweet shit about how handsome he is... run the pads of your fingers over his impossibly soft lips.

"LUV UR WRITING SO V MUCH TY FOR UR SERVICE ALWAYS! never sent u anything before this but have truly admired ur work from afar :) &lt;3" this is sooo sweet! thank you very much for submitting and sharing your thoughts <3 i'm really happy you love and admire my writing! i love reading that. also congrats on your first submission to me :) im so glad you decided to reach out.

[thisismeracing]

https://www.tumblr.com/thisismeracing/737177411791257600/httpswwwtumblrcomthisismeracing7364627668739?source=share

bono!reader head-canons (pt. 4) (glad yall like this insanity)

constantly falls asleep w/out taking her earrings out. whether it be when taking a nap or falling asleep while working in bed those earrings are staying in. so mick has taken up the mantle of taking them out and putting them back in her jewelry box

had those glow in the dark stick on stars on her childhood bedroom ceiling and maybe she still does in her grown up bedroom that she shares with mick

gets a cartilage piercing on the ear that doesn't have her piercings dedicated to working for merc. and the jewelry that she puts in it is a small “47” stud that she got custom made. her piercings represent her biggest achievements in life and her being able to let herself be loved and be in love took a lot of work to get to, so it absolutely gets acknowledged in what she considers to be an achievement

calls james allison “allie” because when she says james she means vowles, and when james a. came to merc in 2017 she needed a way to differentiate the james’.

has an orange cat [purely based of this tt: https://www.tiktok.com/@mildwestsami/video/7136290369683131690] im leaning towards either diesel or luna for the name, but i can be persuaded into considering other ones. those are just the two that seem the most fitting atm

carries her cat like a baby and buys mini furniture for said baby

i think it would be funny if this cat was a stray that was roaming around a gp and she decided to adopt them after checking if they had a microchip and owners

steals micks hoodies/sweaters and they have a bartering system where if she wants one of mick’s newly purchased article of clothing she has to give him one of his old ones back to secure the new one. great economically for her, not so much for this boy

pulls mick in by his belt loops when she wants him close to her

loves being close enough to her lover that she can feel and hear the rhythms of his breathes

having her head resting on top of her papa’s chest where his heart is, listening to the beats of his heart will, without fail, soothe her. it started when she was a smol babe but just because she’s a grown up now doesn’t mean that it wont work

her team headset is covered in small stickers around the merc logo

ok so the jewelry she has in her first cartilage piercing she got for being hired at merc is this [https://www.etsy.com/listing/729980335/arrow-earringscartilage-earring-16g?click_key=198d47f7f1895e88c7eef3638427353c6eef89af%3A729980335&click_sum=65e3a9a5&ref=user_profile&pro=1&frs=1]

has a guest room just for her in certain team members houses [lew, the wolffs, james v,]

i could also see drivers having a room for her (seb, kimi, jense, nando)

constantly tries to persuade (poach) hannah schmitz from working at rb to merc

i could see her meshing well with oscar

her first australian gp she got gifted a small koala plush from one of the drivers (im leaning towards michael) and for the years following it’s been a tradition for all of the drivers who wanted to participate to nominate and vote who would get her a new plush to add to the collection. the only rules being it has to be a koala and it cant be one she has already gotten in years past. best believe there have been fights for the privilege of being the koala giver

[and with that i will end this segment of head-canons, yes i breached the second google doc page again i dont want to talk about it]

happy new year and i can't wait for the 2024 season to start so i will grace the inbox with more bon

(also yes i know this isnt in the usual bulleted list format that i usually do for these hcs but i dont have the patience to re-format this ask on my phone cause tumblr decided to delete my bullet points)

☕️

prev

omg yes to everything sagksjgksdjg I won't even add, just appreciate this whole ass headcanon <3

tiktok link (it says unavailable for me :/)

i think it would be funny if this cat was a stray that was roaming around a gp and she decided to adopt them after checking if they had a microchip and owners // like corinna did w a dog during the Brazilian gp *crying into my hands*

piercing link

*virtual hug* its perfect

[galaxywarp]

Hey Blue ;v; I just have something that I need to get off my chest, I need to tell somebody, so I hope it’s okay if I tell you: I have a problem with weed. As in, I need to stop using it. I’m thinking of, like, giving my stash to my friends so I can’t use it as easily. I need to tell my counsellor. But I’m scared. I need help. (Btw it’s not like it’s illegal here, it’s legal where I am. I’m scared because I’ve never dealt with something like this before)

Also, I have a question about your sobriety tracker (bc I use it too, just not for substance use) : when do you start tracking? From the last moment you put the drug in your body, or the first moment you sobered up from it/weren’t high?

And… I’m not weak for having a problem with weed, am I? Just bc like. It’s not a hard drug or anything, it feels kind of stupid to have this happen 😭

(Ugh I need to just say it. I’m addicted to it. Thankfully I don’t have much opportunity to use it, but I use it every chance I get, and I just broke one of my own rules that serves as a restriction)

Hi friend. Thanks for reaching out. I’m glad you’re on the step of your recovery where you can acknowledge you have a problem. That’s a really rough step

Especially because of the weird mixed signals and attitudes around weed addiction. I understand where you’re coming from.

And if it helps, this is me, a certified tweaker who used to OD on fentanyl regularly: your weed addiction is still real and still serious and you still deserve support.

Addiction is addiction when it’s hurting you. It sounds like you’ve come to acknowledge that weed is hurting you but even though it is, you’re struggling to stop.

You’re not doing it because it’s fun. You’re doing it because you feel like you need it and going without it is painful. I’ve felt that way about numerous drugs in my lifetime, and weed is definitely one of them. I would smoke myself so numb for months or years on end and it was absolutely miserable.

Im sorry you’re going through this. I have hope you’ll be able to overcome this. Im glad you shared this with me and I hope you can share it with others too.

If you do decide to quit, I know there’s a lot of stuff trying to claim that weed has no withdrawal symptoms. I don’t think that’s true. From lengthy personal experience I really don’t think that’s true. Heroin and meth were soooo much more extreme, don’t get me wrong. It’s apples to oranges — it can’t be compared

But when I stopped smoking pot I felt achy and agitated and bored and restless and upset and don’t let anyone, including yourself, invalidate that you feel shitty. It’s gonna feel bad for a bit and you have every right to own that. Don’t deny yourself some days of lying around whining and snacking and trying to distract yourself.

The good news is, after 2-3 weeks, you’ll start feeling better in a way you probably haven’t felt since you started smoking 24/7

If you need someone to vent to during that time, my askbox is open

Phew! That’s a lot. For your last question: my exact sobriety dates in my trackers are actually ….very loose

The short answer is that my memory of those times is very distorted because of, y know , drugs

The longer answer includes that I picked my dates as dates when I made a conscious decision that I wanted to quit.

My fentanyl date: September 27, 2019

I came home from a camping trip with my family. Because I was in the woods sleeping in a tent with them all weekend, I couldn’t bring my drugs. And I was gonna be in withdrawal

But I had saved a few suboxone from my last detox clinic and I used them over the weekend to keep the pain manageable (suboxone is used for opiate withdrawal so I had been prescribed it off and on for years)

When I got home I still had a small bag left of fentanyl.

I decided….i wasn’t going to buy anymore

And over the next few days I used what was left, all the way down to desperately licking the bag and smoking burnt tin foil, trying to wean myself so my withdrawal symptoms weren’t as bad

And then I ran out. And I stopped. And now im 4 years clean from it

Very similar story with my meth date: April 1st 2023

I still had a little bit of meth left but that was the day I said I didn’t want to get anymore. And when it was gone, it was gone. And now it’s been over a year

[blood-choke]

Hello! I just wanted to say that I really appreciate this game and how it portrays butchness. I'm a huge fan of lesbian lit and there are so few butches in media that to see a game have not one, but three, makes me feel a certain kind of way.

Aside from that, I was really drawn to how you portrayed the differing relationships between all the characters. Everything feels so visceral and real, it just feels so crunchy that I find myself wanting for more. I really look forward to seeing how it will turn out for everyone involved.

Additionally, (if this is too spoilery, has been answered, or insensitive pls feel free to ignore) is it ok if I ask how you decide the dialogue and event flow of the choices? I was mildly and pleasantly surprised that flirting with Clear and staying with her in ch 3 would lead to "that" scene, and I'm curious on your writing process on how it lead to that.

Ultimately, I just really want to thank you for sharing your game with us. Im just really glad to be able to experience this game and I hope that you stay safe!

thank you!

overall when it comes to structuring dialogue & choices i tend to write a linear path first & then double back to add more branches.

i had a basic outline of the chapter & knew what i wanted to touch on with each route & what scenes needed to happen, and then i just kinda started writing from there. Clear's was actually the one i wrote first, her sex scene was what i wrote first, and then i went back and built a lot of the route around it.

i wrote Clear's and Hana's routes simultaneously since they were so intertwined, but i ended up rewriting Hana's three times, whereas with Clear i just had to edit it a bit. i knew i wanted them to have that conversation at the table about Clear not having any friends, and then i wrote the scene where mc finds the vampire erotica book. it took some trial and error until i was happy with the dialogue & choices at the table, as well as how i wanted to split the following variations. i tend to do the romantic variations first, and then work my way down, and sometimes i have to go backwards and edit as i write because i'll add something on a whim to one variation and decide that actually i want this to be in all of them.

i am definitely someone that's a bit of a "planster" meaning i do minimal planning and write a lot by the seat of my pants. sometimes it works, other times it puts me in a bit of a bind. like i said i tend to set out with specific information/dialogue/scene/etc in mind that i know has to happen, and build up around it.

with Hana the main focus in her route was that conversation with mc; i wanted mc to get overwhelmed at the store, and for her and Hana to talk about it afterwards, and for Hana to be frustrated at her situation as this person who suddenly has to comfort and take care of mc after being replaced by her. again, minimal planning, i wrote almost her whole route before i started working on Valentina's & i mentioned Standard and his proclivities towards Chinese antiques. this made me realize i needed to rewrite a lot of Hana's dialogue to be more inclusive of her race. i went back to Clear's route, and ended up writing a lot of the conversation with Hana there after she gets back from the store, and then i adapted it to the other routes.

Valentina's route was all about the painting. again, i wrote that initial scene of walking into her room, the description of the painting, and then her first sex scene, and built up from there. there was also the brief meeting with Joan, which was mostly just for fun and to introduce those characters early for anyone that went on V's route, so the next chapter those players will have a little jump on who they are. but the main point was that painting & i think it's pretty obvious with how the whole route plays out, and the fact that the painting is always seen by all players.

this is still a game, so it is gamified quite a bit, with all 3 characters having a potential sex scene in the same chapter at the same time. i planned it that way to make it easy for myself and because that's just how i wanted it to go. i put some stat checks in place to add variations, like if you went with Hana or Valentina in ch2, if you flirted with Clear or not, and again, it was a lot of jumping around and trial and error. i wrote a significant part of Valentina's route out of order, and i finished hers last before i finalized the council meeting (which i had written very early on but like Hana's route i had to rewrite a few times)

i like to describe my process as building a tree. i write the core of it all first, one linear path, the trunk, and then i double back and add in all of the possible branches. it doesn't mean anything that i wrote the friendly, romantic variation of Clear's route first, it just allowed me to use that single variation as an anchor and build up around it without straying too far and losing the plot, hahahaha. i still sometimes stray a little too far... but it's fun that way. it was fun trying to figure out a way to make the rival route different, how to change it while still telegraphing the same overall ideas about Clear & her situation. it's also very frustrating, but it's all part of the process....

[ilovejoll]

I WAS SUMMONED TO YOUR BLOG BY MY MUTUAL @uzibrainrot AND OMG I LOVE YOUR MD OC SERIAL DESIGNATION B PLEASE TELL ME MORE ABOUT THEM AGHHHHHHH /NF 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

AAAA TYSMMMM IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY OC, MBAJSBAJBHSA….!!!!!! Also, heckkk yeah ill tell you about them!!!!!! I’ve been dying to talk about B the moment i started writing a story for them LMAOO,,, ofc this will include spoilers lol

B is the tallest disassembly, they’re also the laziest… they do NOT want to do their job LMAO. They’re probably J’s least favorite because of how lazy they are. They like to sleep, a lot, and when i say a lot i mean ALOT. This is mostly to escape their issues, but its also because they’re always exhausted LOOL… due to not hunting a lot, N usually brings them worker drones to eat so they dont overheat and die, he cares for them a lot !!!!! I wouldn’t call their relationship with J rivalry, but they both DEFINITELY hate each other JAJAJJAJA,,, as for B and V… i ship them,, loll,,, in fact, in my mind they start dating after ep 3!!!

(Here’s a description thing i made for B before drawing them…) Serial Designation B, other known as Bunny or simply just B, is more laid back and simple minded compared to their companions. They really don’t care about most things, and prefer to sit back and watch. They’re lazy, and disobedient (their ass does NOT follow orders from J.) When hunting, it’s common for them to stalk their “prey” before killing, (while this is rare, since they don’t want to do their job and barely hunt 😭) They’re often sarcastic, and rude, (Towards J mainly) and make dead toned jokes at the worst times possible.

In the Mansion days, B used to be quiet, and overly nervous. They were self conscious and hyperactive at times, feeling abnormal being the tallest drone at the time. Despite Tessa’s encouragement to socialize, they were more distant with the other drones, sneaking off during work hours to avoid getting caught in any social situations. They’re easily bully-able, (cough cough, J, cough cough.) and usually get pushed around by the other drones. When they aren’t anxiously running around as a maid, they sneak away to play piano in the library. No one usually ventures in there, so that’s why they like to spent most of their time alone there, playing till their hearts content in secret. That is before N heard them playing one day JSJAHSJA

THATS ALL I REALLY HAVE FOR NOW, if u have anymore specific questions about them, feel free to ask 0D

[peaachietea]

a little recap of my weekend..

i went to megacon! even though joseph quinn didn’t go, i meet some other people i’ve been wanting to be meet for a very while now! also overall the con was awesome and definitely a lot better than last year!

be warned it is a little of a long post 😬

on friday, i finally meet jeff ward who plays buggy in the one piece live action! i have one thing to say about this man… HE IS THE SWEETEST SWEETHEART TO EVER WALK THIS EARTH. his laugh is so contagious and honestly i could have spent hours talking to him! he is so engaging and kind💛 jeff ward is literally the best!!

i also got to see a lot of cool artist on friday and got a few commissions done which i adore💛 

on saturday, i finally got to meet paul bettany who plays vision in the mcu! he also is so kind and i got him to sign my wandavision special edition wandavision box. i asked him to draw a heart with a v in it like they do on wandavision and he deadass said to me “that’s what they did??” which made me laugh because HOW DID THEY NOT TELL HIM VISION BOUGHT THAT PLOT FOR WANDA AND HIM 😂 i also brought up how much i want to see vision back in the mcu and how much i love vision and he winked and smiled at me about it and then later saturday night it was confirmed that vision was gonna be coming back! im glad i was the first to know about it 🥰

i also meet jason lee who plays earl hickey from my name is earl and i know what your thinking.. you watch that show??? yes, yes i do! it one of my all time favorite shows and im currently on my rewatch of it for like the 1000th time and i just have to say that jason lee is a really down to earth man. he is literally just vibing and having a good time. we talked and i told him how much i love him as earl and how much i watch the show and even at one point he chuckled and kept repeating “damn it randy!” and then i cried because i think i’ve been waiting so long to meet him and then luckily my mom was with me because she reminded me to show him the picture my boss made of us (she bought me is autograph and photoshopped him and me together) and he loved it and signed it for me just because he loved it so much!

now for sunday, this was more of a chill day but was also very stressful because con going for more than one day gets very very exhausting. i was definitely not feeling it. i would have definitely said screw it if it weren’t for tom hiddlestons panel i bought tickets for. let me just say how incredibly lucky i was to go to that panel because i will cherish it forever. just being able to see him sit and talk about loki and himself was amazing and seeing all the people that also love him was amazing. he is so sweet and kind and said so really insightful things! i wish i could have meet him face to face but 10000000% if he goes next year… im spending ever penny to meet him.

here is a little clip from the panel💛

[moonjxsung]

HI STAR I MISSED YOU SO MUCH ASKJFHAKJH GRHAHHHH

also important to note i dont know who the fuck put in an ask saying that im pregnant and pretended to be me...??? im not??? wtf did i open your blog to.. who in the freaky pretends to be an anon on a tumblr blog and say that theyre pregnant ..?? 😭😭😭😭

im so sorry i havnt texted you or sent you an ask or anything in forever... its been like 4 months holy shit i missed you so much and ive been wanting to reach out and send in some kind of message or whatnot but something just kept pulling me back and also ive been in this pit of misery recently

TW below (mention of abuse)

my mom used to abuse me both physically/verbally really badly when i was a child up until high school and when i finally left, but very long story short it resurfaced again recently when i saw her and i got fed up w her bs, law enforcement got involved, still figuring things out w the case rn and etc... but yeah!! (this happened maybe a month ago but its still ongoing)

honestly i think ive just been dealing with a rough transition through pretty much a lot in life including family, friends, overall workload etc etc so even if i wanted to reach out, i couldnt really do so because my mental state was just at the lowest of the low so even if i wanted to reach out to someone to talk i was too tired to ..

I AM VERY VERY GLAD TO BE BACK THOUGH!! im doing decently okay recently, still processing some bad news here and there and definitely very rocky every now and then but finally knowing that someone whos been torturing me since i was born is finally getting cut off from her bs is a lot more relieving than i thought it would be. definitely a lot less nerveracking than i thought asw

also kinda had a rough little patch with my close friends a few months back and we're all still kinda processing through it but i think ive definitely filtered out who they are and who exactly supports me when i support them back, and who only really socializes with me for their own benefit, etc.

but yes that has been the past few couple months while i disappeared!!! im v sorry i left out of nowhere and didnt even send in a stupid little message or anything <//3 how are you star?? i missed you so much :(( any life updates on your end??? now that im back youre probably going to see me for a couple while and i wont be dropping off the ends of the earth again hehe

love, your actually and most literally biggest fan, clover! (also feedback for no guts no glory coming soon so be prepared 💔)

~ 《 ☘️ 》

HI BABY I MISSED U SO BAD

IM CRYING YALL WHOOOOOO IS PRETENDING TO BE MY CLOVER ANON AND LIED TO ME THAT SHE’S PREGNANT LMFKFJDJSKDKFJGKGJ 😭😭😭😭 I came THIS close to messaging you on discord and wishing you a safe pregnancy PLSSSSSSKDKDKDJ

*TW heavy topics below*

:((( I am so so so sorry to hear the past few months have been so hard on you oh my god. I’m so sorry for not reaching out on discord and checking in on you sooner. I’d assumed you were just swamped with over school/work stuff, but I’m so sad to hear you’ve been going through all of this by yourself :( I’m glad at least the situation seems to be under control, and that it’s in the hands of the law now. I hope you’re in a safe living condition as of now (please reach out if you’re ever in need of anything at all) and I hope everything is okay in due time :( sending you so so so much love and I’m so sorry you had to deal with all of that.

I’m sorry to hear your friend situation is a bit spotty right now too :( my friends and I have been in a rough patch for a little while now and it absolutely sucks. But just like you mentioned, I do also feel like it’s truly allowed me to find out the real intentions some of my friends have and to reevaluate if I even want them in my life at this point. I hope you can either mend things with them, and if not, I have no doubt that you’ll be able to find much better people in the future. You deserve people who put you first and make you a priority, especially during this rough patch.

I’m doing okay <3 A lot has happened at work (honestly for the worse) and I’ve been so insanely stressed I feel like I’m dying. I cried all of last week because of some shit that happened at work and I think I’m losing hair bc of stress and it’s just jfkfkdjdkdkdjjttj I’m so tired 😭 but in GOOD news I do have a girlfriend for the first time on this account and she’s so lovely and supportive and we are so so so happy 💓 I feel like the fall months just tend to be full of so much stress and grieving and loss before things get good again in the winter. I just keep telling myself things will get better eventually :’)

ANYWAYS I MISSED YOU SO BAD I’m so glad to hear you’re not pregnant (not that it’s a bad thing but I was STRESSED for you) and please please please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything at all 💓💞🩷💕 I love you so so so much my little clover you have been SOOO MISSED ON HERE ☘️🫶

[greatprotector-if]

Hi! I'm the same dimples anon (the one that asked ab Galens dimples, not the one who suffered the tragic fate of mispelling the word in the ask XD) I've actually sent a few asks and your answers have always been amazing! It's great to see how well you connect and understand to your characters!!!

Annnnd I've been dying to ask since I saw the 'Ro's with a (badly) singing MC"- what about an MC who dances? Like since we're meant to be a guard I imagine we wouldn't really dance at balls or stuff?

But what ab when we think we're in private, alone near the castle walls at night, and theres music comng up from a tavern, and it starts raining (im thinking monsoon vibes) and it's like.. no one is gonna catch us, right?

And then the RO's do >:D

HELLO WELCOME BACK DIMPLES ANON!!! GRAHH I LOVE DANCING this is so cute

Kallias - They want in!! They sneak up on MC and start dancing with them. You're right, MC wouldn't really be able to dance at balls (much to Kallias' disappointment) and so Kallias would take this opportunity to give them the dance of their life.

Galen - There's something so mesmerizing about watching someone dance in the rain like no one else is watching. Galen feels their heart rate pick up. They feel awkward and a little bit creepy just watching, and they want to leave MC to their privacy, but they're also a little bit worried about them being out in this weather lol. They don't want them to catch a cold. They'd wait until MC's done and then they'd come over with an umbrella (not that it'd help much at this point) and tell them to get inside, dry off, and get warm.

V - They hate being out in the rain. Really hate it. Some conflicting feelings crop up as they watch MC. They're a little bit enchanted? Just a little? But also they hate rain? But also they're kind of glad they came out because then they got to catch MC dancing? But also ew gross why do they feel that? They don't interrupt, but they watch for a little while, and their heart pangs.

[just-orbiting-you]

“if jikook invited the members out or a member happened to be in the area and they had dinner together, i really wouldn’t be so peeved”

“tae said directly, “why am i being left out?” im SORRY? they’re allowed to do things without you??” ^ these two points you mentioned i just totally agree with. This is exactly it!!

And it’s also why sometimes i think V worked the cameras more than any other member, and if he can see a way to insert himself that will also look good in the eyes of the fans/tkkrs he will 🙄 that’s my opinion. Just like all the lives he did in 2023/24 just to mention Jungkooks name. If he just wanted to hang out with Jikook, he could’ve done that any time - WHICH THEN he mentions at the restaurant saying “I shouldn’t have come, we do this anyway without the cameras” - ok then why did you come?? To insert yourself to a planned shoot for a Jikook series with 2 days notice?? It’s clear the staff had to scramble a bit, it’s just inconsiderate. This wasn’t totally, at the end of the day, just a friends private trip. It was a show with at least some planning and lots of organisation and it just seems selfish to me. It’s showing of his character.

Just can’t see someone like Hobi doing something like that, for example. Imo he would come for a visit or a meal, like you said and then just go because he would recognise this is their own ‘thing’ — don’t overstay your welcome, even if they’d be happy to see you!

just to make one more point - we won’t know how much jikook saw eachother over the ch2 break, but for a time Jungkook clearly was struggling. The car convo isn’t necessarily gospel truth as to how much they saw eachother. We just Don’t know. It could’ve been more about quality time over quantity. Anyway, the point is, I feel Jimin pushed forward with this show as a way to 1) make up for lost time 2) make it up to JK if like he said, JK kept looking for Jimin regardless and Jimin didn’t (as much 😂) it’s a trip to spend quality time together (btw tho it sucks so much Jimin go sick), they were together for days and we’ve only seen like 1hr each of it, and “rekindle” their relationship, whatever that may be, before they then have to go into the military and could be apart for each other for 18 whole months, as they didn’t know they were accepted to the buddy system yet. So for any member to insert themselves into that, regardless of how much the members knew, is a bit off.

exactly anon.

It was a show with at least some planning and lots of organisation and it just seems selfish to me. It’s showing of his character.

and i see people in the tags saying we shouldn’t be upset because clearly jikook didn’t have a problem with it. regardless of whether they were okay with it, this to me is a classic exhibition of his character which i am oddly continuing to find issue with. and that’s my opinion. we are allowed to have our opinions on the members actions, as long as you’re not attacking them for what they did and taking it to them directly. this situation is honestly just a stating of fact.

maybe in combination with how marketing was handled i’m just a little more salty, but damn. like you said, tae overstayed his welcome in my opinion, especially if he was going to come out with comments like “i shouldn’t have come here.” can you at least be grateful of the people who welcomed you with open arms and probably had to pull some strings to make sure you were accommodated for?

im just very glad that jikook had the opportunity to do this show and seemingly see each other more in the second half of the year as opposed to the first half. i’m glad they were able to come back together and that’s what matters. and to your final point, there’s a problem with tae’s awareness that i think probably didn’t even think about why they’re doing this show or what it would mean to join. he’s very haphazard to his detriment. it’s just not a good look for him.

[sillygreenrat]

I have some more smokeybat headcanons, got inspired now

#. Sam gets a big crush on Uzi, he wants to try impress her and hang out with her. So he tries asking her out whenever he can, Uzi oblivious to his crush agrees and hangs out with him a lot.

#. Uzi shows him anime and he ends up liking anime quite a lot, his favourite type being chill slice of life or the cooking anime. Makes him jealous they can't eat like humans can

#. He makes her a badge of their favourite anime character for her to wear on her beanie.

#. Sam is a talented artist and has a sketch book full of drawings and abstract work too. When he on magnets is when some his most colourful work is done. He has a very detailed drawing of Uzi he keeps special. It's of her in class reading, she looked so pretty that day.

#. Sam got a bit jealous when Thad started talking to Uzi , he could see Uzi seemed to like him a bit and was a little sad by that. He got more upset when N showed up because he could definitely see Uzi big crush on him.

#. He talk with Uzi about N and he encourages her to tell him how she feels, being a wingman.

#. Sam writes a love note to Uzi along with a drawing and sends it to her anonymously, hoping to impress her. He was too scared to sign it.

I have more if you like to listen to it

i am SO sorry for taking so long on these lmfao???? i really wanted to think abt these. tysm for sending me all of these delightful thoughts to grab and run with i would absolutely be willing to hear more

1 + 5: it was a crush that's been there since the begining, uzi was always kinda cute and charming, the way she interupted class with sarcastic wit on occasion, the way she would go above and beyond what the assignments were just to have her own fun. sam has always been the more quiet, shut in type, always following rules, never usually being the type to speak up or make a sound, but whenever uzi does something particularly silly he can't help but laugh a little (and boy shes a whole fucking circus so lemmie tell you). though he had to eventually start making moves once thad god involved.

for the record, i do NOT ship thad n uzi, i get it as a ship, but it just aint my thing, however im a big fan of unrequitted love, and i can absolutely see uzi just not being interested in the popular jock type (shes more into the silent stoner type COUGH COUHG(J)), seeing thad as more of a close friend due to him being so caring when no one else seemed to be.

unfortunately for sam the only time he was able to fully talk and get to know uzi was AFTER she was already introduced to his oil (lmfao)

2: this dude wants to eat so bad, let this man manifest some robot mac n cheese for his ass. its not 'hunger' but its like, some fuckin program malfunction due to the magnets that you could compare to stoner munchies but lord does he get angry when uzi puts on a ghibli or some shit and they start makin ramen or some shit.

on the topic of anime tho uzi would absolutely be into anime and try and get sam (and by extention N and possibly V) into anime

current hyperfixation is firmly beliving shes be a nutcase over jujutsu kaisen (would love the curses and their vibe of 'we wanna take over humanity' but the humans are pretty cool too she GUESSES) but i think shed also be into shit like kill la kill, evangelion, maybe even a smidge of ouran on the side bc damn it she wants to be surrounded by a buncha cute boys (and low and behold be projecting trasmasc feelings onto uzi but boy she'd feel a sense of 'man i bet i could pull off a suit' and she WOULD)

3 + 4: him being obsessed w/ drawing n stuff is honestly a small headcanon i had personally!!!!! glad its a thing for another person ugh (positive) he would totally pay attention to the characters she hyperfixates on and go CRAZY making her posters and small keychain hangers and such (probably has an old laminator in his house that he uses to seal the all to keep them from getting ruined). i like to imagine he likes to draw/paint skyscapes, trying to find really interesting cloud formations or spots where the moon shines through them to draw cuz he thinks that kinda shits beauitufl, would absolutely love earth sky's so fucking much let this man see them

6 + 7: N IS BEST WINGMAN. i ship all of them together in one homoginous poly so i can confirm this happened and it was real. would absolutely help sam before he even considered allowing his feelings for uzi show