#also im really proud with how stan came out. it was like one and done. perfect stan
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skeleton---arts · 7 days ago
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He's probably installing a battery that lasts 100 years or something
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i-mmaculatus · 2 months ago
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Swifties that don't hold taylor accountable for WHAT. What the hell did she do? That was my entire question. Yall will stan male kpop idols who have fucking said the n word and casually make pedophile jokes but then suddenly care SO much when you see a woman getting successful. "chaeryoung and tswift apologists" mentioned but BigBang Seungri and NCT Taeil apologists mentioned absolutely NO where. Truly astounding.
hi anon!!! the problem in question isn't about her gender or her success but rather about the things she's proud about, and how taylor fans act like she's an angel who's never done anything bad in her entire life. she's a grown woman and should own up to her acts! of course if we nitpick, we'll see that 90% of the artists we love and adore are or have done something problematic in their life; the thing is whether or not they've admitted to being wrong
let's start with taylor's jet crisis that happened some time ago and compare it to how she contributes to the environment. sure, everyone has harmed our planet at least once in their entire life, but the thing about taylor's jets is that instead of confirming that she indeed was in the wrong and would not repeat her actions, she bought the same amount of 'carbon credit' her jets would've needed as if that would help it. she's done it one, two, three times and god knows for how many times she'll keep doing it ! let's not forget about the fact that she, allegedly, sold one of her jets after she got exposed for it AND !!! sued the guy that exposed her ... and not to mention the various controversies she's been in the past, like the whole swastika picture thing, the many many lawsuits and etc etc etc
although like i said, no artist is an angel and we shouldn't put them above our social conscience
and you mentioned "i care so much when a woman is successful". i only picked taylor, hyuna and chaeyoung from the rest because people treat their mistakes like a normal person's. chaeyoung posing with a swastika has NOTHING to do with her success, she's an amazing artist but that's basically one step to a hate crime if you really think about it, and im saying this because i myself have been an once since their debut. the same goes for hyuna!
now the seungri and taeil thing is because obviously no one supports them. they fall under the basic dni criteria!!!! thats the first thing i mention in my dni ! i have also been a bigbang and nct fan for a long time and i was extremely quick to drop them as soon as the news came out. you obviously dont know me personally to assume i dont dislike them !!! stanning an artist and defending their actions is a completely different thing !!!!!! and for the "pedo jokes", i dont make those nor do i find them funny. if ur close to me you know how ill straight up tell someone that it isnt funny or that it's disrespectful
i dont know whats going on with u anon but plz dont assume stuff ab people online u barely even know :p for a moment i found ur ask funny and sent it to some of my friends, but genuinely its so disrespectful youd accuse me of defending 🍇ists ? ? ? just be more mindful next time ... thank u ^_^ oh and taylor probably wont kill herself if she sees a 16 year old gay boy who likes yaoi on tumblr dot com saying he hates her dont worry Anw heres cutie nomin
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crossovereddie · 4 years ago
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Thoughts on S11xE3
Me being a mom means now these recaps will be up at random times unlike when I used to be on a schedule. Let’s get right into it. Again I’m not a spoiler free blog. This post is one big ass spoiler.
Wtf was that intro
Great now my wifi connection is fucking up
I’m actually watching with my husband so if he says some dumb shit I’ll let y’all know
Debbie is hella annoying damn
Fred’s room is so calming
OH MY GOSH WTF
THAT WAS OUT OF NOWHERE
OH MY GOSH
AN EXPLICIT SEX SCENE?!
IS THIS REAL LIFE
WHAT
Okay I’m in shock I had to pause
“I mean....it’s kinda hot.” I HATE MY HUSBAND BYE
We started that scene over lmao
DIRTY CONVICT
HANDS AROUND HIS THROAT FUCK THATS WOW
A JONAS BROTHER PLS
JOE ALDNRSkdbd
“Joe was my fave too” seriously I hate my husband 😂😂😂
IM TOTALLY NICK
BITCH NICK JONAS WAS MY FIRST TRUE LOVE
MICKEY REALLY IS MY SON
“Jonas loving slut” that’s me
“I’m gonna get you pregnant” IMFUCKING SCREAMING
REALLY I SCREAMED
“If you scream again and wake Gid up before we finish this scene I swear to god we’re done” I HATE MY HUSBAND SOMEONE COME GET HIM
PRISON PORN
POWER BOTTOM
I WILL PASS OUT
COLOR IT ORANGE AND CALL IT IAN STFU
We had to pause and rewatch that scene a few times
“So would you fuck Mickey or ian if you could?” “Uh....i don’t know man. Maybe ian. He looks like an emotional lover and you know I’m vanilla” “he just had his hands around mickeys throat” “It looked soft....Do that later ” have I mentioned how much I hate my husband?
Okay wtf Debbie but I also laughed
“Why can’t little miss sunshine wear pants?” Thank you Carl
Did frank say “you are”??
“Well who sticks it in who” oh god
“Mines wider which is the only metric that matters” he’s not wrong
They’re fighting about who is prettier this is all I’ve ever wanted
I actually love them so much guys I’m so fond of both of them not just Mickey WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN
ugh tami
Hubs: “She’s hot....oh but we hate her” me: “yeah she’s hot but where’s my girlfriend”
I love how gallagher Mickey is in that scene 😭😭😭😭
Mickey Gallagher 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
No Liam don’t leave her lolololol
Kev would be a tp hoarder
VERSOCKY
Hub: “I want that tracksuit” “I will leave you”
WHERE IS MY GIRLFRIEND
I NEED MY GIRLFRIEND
I MISS HER PRETTY FACE
HE TOOK HER TO THE WRONG SCHOOL THATS SO FUNNY
WHY DID I LAUGH SO HARD
Frank tried
Ugh bye Carl
SHES CALLING HIM BILLIE IM DONE
WHERE THE FUCK IS SANDY
Aw Kermit and Tommy made up
Hi Mickey baby I love you
MICKEY WORKING OUT
“since I married a body shamer” BABY PLS
Mickey is so pretty wowowowowow
KEGGY BANK
I hate that these dumb jokes have me laughing
My Mickey is so smart
HE SAID SWOLE
Omg the flexing more like when I “flex” my baby’s arms and tell him he’s a strong boy after tummy time 😭😭😭😭😭
Now I’m thinking of Mickey as a tiny baby and I wanna cry
I told my husband this and he rolled his eyes 😭😭😭
DAMN YOU TELL HIM IAN’S COWORKER!!
Why are they so caught up on this
Oh no brad’s baby 🥺🥺🥺
Put your fucking mask on Tami it’s a hospital
Still waiting for Sandy
“Rain girl” another stupid joke that made me laugh
Franny is too cute
I really hate Carl’s storyline
SANDY
BABY
GOSH SHES SO HOT
HELP ME RELAX INSTEAD
FUCK SHES SO HOT
IM SO IN LOVE
“If you left me for her I’d understand” thanks hubs. If you left me for ian I’d understand too
Okay bye kev I need more sandy
I’m the #1 Sandy Milkovich stan
I wish we could’ve gotten more seasons with her 😭😭😭
Oh gosh kev
Who thought “hmm. Let’s make the crazy cop who abuses their power a black woman”???? This show is so fucking ridiculous most of the time
How ooc Mickey loves working out
Mickey with the Alibi crew is always my fave
Remember how supportive they were when he came out
I hate Tami :))))))))
Fuck
Sandy
Pls
Aunt Fiona :(
Is “fuck if I know” Mickey????
He better be in the family group chat
I FUCKING HATE CARLS STORYLINE
I just want ian to have a job he loves somewhere he’s respected
I’m proud of you ian
Mickey has the best arms
“Put some pants on you’re turning me on a little bit” MICKEY
Mickey is so fucking smart
My baby
You make me so proud
I love the way he says Jesus
“Man swole”
BABYFACE
BOUFANT
Me as V breaking up the fight
“Or they” I love franny :(
Fuck frank I need a franny and uncle mickey day
Oh no....
They’re really gonna do this to frank huh?
I’m actually sad
I honestly didn’t see this coming
I mean I kinda figured something was gonna happen to frank since it’s the last season but this isn’t what I was expecting
I’m just assuming at this point btw
Yes V pls parent them
YOU TELL THEM V
Pouty Mickey :(((((
Lip is the best person
I love this tattoo scene
Frank nooooo
Why am I getting emotional
So is hubs
Ugh sandy I love you
Debbie sucks man
“I’d divorce you but you never signed a prenup”
“Fuck you cop” MICKEY PLS
DEBBIE SUCKS
TELL HER LIP
Yikes
Maybe don’t tell her that
She is hella annoying though and doesn’t take any responsibility ever
FRANNY IS THE BEST 😭😭😭
MICKEY CALLED IAN DADDY
DADDY
OH MY GOD
Uber masculine slut
OH MY GOD!!!!!
NICK JONAS
THEYRE FUCKING TO A JONAS BROTHERS SONG
OH MY GOD
This episode man.....wow.....I don’t even know what to say. All Gallavich aside though I really am enjoying this season so far! Again sorry for the random posting time. My husband and I really missed watching the show together and this was our only free time. I cant wait to rewatch this episode later! I hope y’all enjoyed watching as much as we did!
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hanijunk · 4 years ago
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Alright boys, girls, and nonbinary folks of the world. It’s 5:36am (1/30 when I first started) as I decide to give up on my attempt to continue to focus on learning statistics, avoid studying for my two upcoming midterms, and put off my two actual essays for two different classes.
Instead we’re going into a dive about ✨ KazuFuuma ✨ . Is this me telling you you gotta ship it? No of course not, you’re entitled to your own ships! You don’t really gotta care about it as a ship. But I do want people to recognize it’s THERE canonically, and how disregarding it is extremely unfair to Kazuki as a character particularly. Also, I’m working on the assumption anyone clicking this at least knows the bare bones about what KazuFuuma (ex. You know they are a ship of Kazuki/Fuuma from Dolce, you know they are childhood friends, you know who Dolce is, you know about Honeyworks, etc.) I’ll be making references to specific things, but I won’t always go into heavy detail. Might just hope you know it or take my word for what it is, and go into analyzing it. Some I’ll put direct references to find, but some I’ll trust you can find it yourself. If you somehow read this MAMMOTH and want reference to a specific thing mentioned, hmu I can help you find it!!
Also I hate tumblr formatting sm if you legit wanna read this 7 page essay but hate tumblr format lmk I'll add it as a google doc link instead too. anYWHO
Before actually getting into the meat of things lemme preface some stuff.
Again it’s like almost 6am so this will be disorganized and very train of thought (and likely long due to the fact when I fly by the seat of my pants I’m known to get unnecessarily extensive). It’s definitely gonna be in large part why it’s important to recognize as a romantic relationship foundation and what about it shapes Kazuki’s character in particular. Maybe a bit of how it’s been built up and its general focus and implications. Dunno yet. We’ll see LMAOO
I say f*ck. Not a lot, just a handful of times. This ain’t something scholarly this is for my own enjoyment so if you don’t like that might not wanna read. And it’s not like spitefully I just curse a lot if you haven’t...read my tags before lol
Again this is through the lens of a Kazuki stan. Of COURSE I’m going to have some level of bias, but if anything that bias may help more than hurt because that means I become FIXATED and think a lot about Kazuki. Which plays into establishing just how important it is that Kazufuuma’s relationship is recognized, especially in a romantic light at this point. Lmfao. 
I’ll have a few more prefaces about the actual content below but to keep this from getting too long if you wanna read come below the cut owo
I have extremely limited knowledge of Japanese just taking a few classes in highschool (so like 3 yrs ago) and live in America. This means a lot of my knowledge is gathered through the english translations of the super duper incredible and lovely people in the Honeyworks fandom who provide translations (delaix and takanenene esp have provided so much for me being able to understand Dolce) and my own limited Japanese paired with Google Translate for things that remain untranslated.
This only will be drawing on information I have come in contact with and have access to and making assumptions based on that, most (if not all) of which is in the public domain. So things like the Dolce Manga Volumes released via Animate, exclusive 4komas, and Light Novels are out of my area for the most part (apart from again snippets of translations thanks to this fandom’s godlike and generous translators).
I will not be drawing on anything from the first Dolce album with the exception of Nade Nade. From a meta standpoint, I consider those songs as songs made as performance media as opposed to character explorations. Nade Nade is the exception because (1) it was released a whole year before the album and (2) you can tell it’s explicitly an exploration of Fuuma and Kazuki’s interpersonal relationship even if it’s in a slightly more performance based context than the songs that came out with the Dolce LNs. Easiest parallel I can make to show this is if you held Non-Fantasy, Yume Fanfare, and Samishigariya up against each other, you could tell the difference in intended audience and intended purpose the same way the Dolce 1st album, Nade Nade, and the songs of the LNs do respectively. Even if there is some basis to ground Kazufuuma, for the purposes of this essay I’ll be acting under the assumption the 1st album falls under the Non-Fantasy equivalent category.
THAT WAS A LOT OF PREFACING CONSIDERING LIKE 2 PPL WILL PROBABLY READ IT I just have a tendency to anytime I do anything analytical lay down ground acknowledgements for myself to work on just...cuz it makes me feel less guilty for any accidental misinformation even if I’m writing towards my future self to read lolll IM SORRY WITHOUT FURTHER TO DO HERE’S THE BRAIN DUMP
First let’s go ahead and establish why it needs to be recognized as an important relationship. Again, I’m a Kazuki stan. He’s my favorite character not only of Dolce but also of the entire Honeyworks series, and as much as I love him for reasons outside the ship, whether you like it or not Kazufuuma is an essential aspect of his character and narrative. Of course there’s the fact that him and Fuuma are childhood friends, so that’s going to in part define their characters and interactions with each other and those around them. They’re both going to be relevant to one another and important to one another’s stories to an even greater extent than the rest of the members of Dolce. But on Kazuki’s side at least, it’s an EXTREME amount. A running plotpoint in Dolce Diary is the sheer amount of dedication Kazuki has to Fuuma and how much his thoughts and decisions are influenced by Fuuma, whether it be how he feels happiest spending time with Fuuma, how he decided to get his piercing to represent he wanted to protect Fuuma, how he doesn’t want to dislike food so he can eat what Fuuma dislikes, etc. Not to mention running jokes about his borderline overprotectiveness and downright possessiveness of Fuuma, how proud he is when Fuuma gets praised, or that one 4koma that literally explicitly states he can read Fuuma’s mind when he thinks motherfucking ‘dirty thoughts’ about his childhood friend (Fuuma). I still don’t know what the fuck to make of that last bit. Genuinely. Or the fact it’s a fucking running joke. As in it’s not a one off. It’s been brought up multiple times. Kazuki what the fuck. 
That’s not to say that he doesn’t have character outside of Fuuma or he doesn’t interact with people other than Fuuma. He’s great friends with Sara, Girisha, and Kippei and is shown time and time again to have fun interactions with all of them, generally acting as the best support friend for every member of the group, not Fuuma alone. For instance how he helps Kippei with his self confidence issues or stays over at Sara’s to protect him from a cockroach (which he fails at lol). Nor is that to say all his interactions involving Fuuma focus solely on his devotion to Fuuma, especially in instances where the manga focuses on Dolce as a group dynamic (though even in that setting there are times where jokes about his devotion are thrown in). He’s kind, he’s stupid, he’s friendly, he’s an amazing character in his own right, and I love him for all those reasons. But that doesn’t change the fact a major part of his character and his character interactions are rooted in Fuuma, and arguably some of his most interesting, eccentric, and notable behaviors and traits revolve around Fuuma (again the mind reading for example).
Hell let’s take it one step further. If you look at the character bios of the Dolce members, you get everyone’s motives for being an idol and interests. Of them, Kazuki is the only one to have another character mentioned directly, not to mention that supporting Fuuma is explicitly stated to be his primary motive as to why he became an idol. Not even Fuuma’s sister is mentioned, though two arguments can be made for this. The first would be that Fuuma’s backstory about wanting to fulfill his dream for himself and his sister was decided later to explain Fuuma’s choice to crossdress though it can be argued it was intentionally done to leave it as a reveal at a later date, to which I would argue I don’t think this backstory was a choice in post. While Fuuma’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra exploring that backstory was released a little less than a year after Dolce was revealed, the preview to set up Fuuma’s backstory was actually the first thing released after the character bios on the Dolce Official Twitter page if you exclude a drawing of Dolce from Yamako. The second argument could be that information about his sister was intentionally withheld to set up the reveal when Fuuma’s extra released to explore it. However, going by that logic (which I do agree with), that would also mean that Fuuma’s inclusion and importance in Kazuki’s character bio also set up his dedicated extra, which I don’t think would be incorrect to assume considering what his actual extra turned out being.
Which brings me to the thing that makes it inexplicable to write off the romantic implications behind Kazufuuma: Kazuki’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra, Suki. I shipped Kazufuuma before even knowing of Suki, sure. But the fact that Suki even exists is a shock to me and drove into me the fact that Kazufuuma wasn’t just my own projection. Again, it’s not a surprise that Fuuma shapes Kazuki’s life. They’re childhood friends, of course they’re going to be important to each other. But this extra explicitly brought Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma under a direct spotlight. At first I was thinking oh, this extra was just to acknowledge the fact that Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship can have romantic implications, but the end of it the conclusion that we got was that it didn’t matter what type of “like” he felt for Fuuma. Originally, I thought it wasn’t anything more than saying there are all types of like, and it doesn’t always need to be explicitly defined, but I appreciated the fact they were aware that they were writing Kazuki in a way that conveyed romantic implications. 
Then I thought about it because, again, I love Kazuki of course I’m going to think about his character extra, and realized...that’s not how these character extras have worked. There are only three character extras out as far as I know and have read: Fuuma, Kippei, and Kazuki. If we look at Fuuma and Kippei’s, each extra had a conclusion, sure, but they didn’t have a resolution. Rather, they were simply setting up explicitly what each character’s primary character arc and conflict were. Fuuma’s extra brought attention to the fact that he’s particularly a crossdressing idol by exploring the motives behind it. His choice to be a crossdressing idol is constantly under fire both by himself and the world around him. He’s not immune to those who consider his crossdressing strange, and a part of his story is both finding people who accept his decision to crossdress and to succeed for himself as a crossdressing idol. It’s an essential part of how we understand and define him as a character and it’s a central part of how he interacts with the world around him. For Kippei, it lays the severity of his insecurity under the spotlight and his journey and motives for improving himself. Again, this isn’t something isolated and resolved in the extra; his extreme insecurity and negativity is constantly affecting how he interacts with practically everyone from his fellow Dolce members to his fans despite the fact in all honesty? He’s fucking insanely talented in his own right, his own brother mentioning how smart he is and how he has amazing reflexes. For Kippei, his negativity is an essential part of how we understand and define him and central to how he interacts with the world as much as Fuuma’s decision to crossdress is to him.
Which brings us back to Kazuki, of course. In his dedicated extra, in the chapter that’s supposed to explore and establish and bring attention to an essential part of his character, the aspect of himself under investigation is how he feels about Fuuma. It’s not just how he behaves around Fuuma, it’s explicitly an exploration of his feelings, on top of the fact it’s explicitly an exploration about whether or not he likes Fuuma r o m a n t i c a l l y. Literally the conflict is spurred on by someone outright asking “Do you like him?” and having to clarify “I mean romantically.” What they decided to focus on for Kazuki’s character and emphasize and establish is that Kazuki’s like towards Fuuma toes the line between friendship and romance. His ambiguous feelings towards Fuuma (if we leave them inconclusive as Suki did) are just like Fuuma’s crossdressing and Kippei’s insecurity in the sense the weight of whatever those feelings may be are seen in how he interacts with the world around him and influences his behaviors. It would be another story if they introduced the potential and shut it down all within the extra, because then his central conflict would to me be less directly open to romantic potential and more simply about how his arc was meant to explore the dynamic of the behavior of an extremely dedicated best friend. The fact that he may be romantically attracted to Fuuma or may be only platonically dedicated to Fuuma is instead something that looms over Kazuki in the same way Fuuma’s decision to crossdress constantly looms over him. It’s what Dolce wanted to point to and say this is Kazuki’s central character conflict and central arc: exploring what type of feelings he has towards Fuuma. 
Sure, it can be argued that there’s only three Dolce Diary character extras, there’s not enough to be sure about that being the purpose of the extras unless we get the other two’s extras. First, at this point I honestly don’t know if or when they’re going to release an extra revolving around Sara and Girisha just because not only has it been over a year and a half since the latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Kazuki’s) was released despite the gap between the first and latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Fuuma’s and Kazuki’s) were within a year of release but also because the Dolce 4komas and comics they’ve been posting to Twitter have decreased (last one being over half a year ago) potentially due to them deciding to focus on releasing Dolce manga content through the purchasable volumes instead. (This is not particularly related to the Kazufuuma argument, just wanted to put out there my two cents on what Sara and Girisha’s extra/focal arc would be. Based on a large part of the Dolce Diary in conjuncture with Can’t an Idol Fall in Love, I’d argue Sara’s would be his journey to regain his passion for performing, and if it’s not that I’d say it’d be coming out of his self-imposed isolation and opening up to people again. As for Girisha, I have less of a concrete idea but I’m assuming it’d be something pertaining to how people often misconceive him whether it be in tandem with his determination, his optimism and sociability, or his stupidity/ability to ignore those misconceptions and work past them. But Girisha is treated like the comedic relief 90% of the time so I’m not entirely sure, but his primary conflict is definitely rooted in misconceptions of him being his roadblock imo. #MoreGirishaContentPlz) That being said, I personally feel like the three are already enough evidence, especially considering it would be honestly even more cruel for Kazuki’s character-centric extra to be focusing on something that wasn’t essential to his character and character arc, anyway. And though it’s not explicitly stated that these chapters are extras exploring a central character, you can kind of tell based on how they are (to my knowledge) the only Dolce Diary updates with cover/title cards each which include their focal character front and center. So working off that fact, the Kazuki-centric chapter established that a pillar to his narrative was his feelings towards Fuuma and that those feelings are still open to romantic potential. 
But if you follow me, this is why up until Can’t an Idol Fall in Love With Another Idol’s release, I was terrified of them writing that off. I would have been ok if it was just an arc that was given attention then continued to actively work in the background, as all the character arcs have been over all of Dolce’s content. The fact that they might be giving Fuuma a love interest and giving Fuuma a love arc while Kazuki’s feelings were still up in the air and were still the primary highlighted narrative for him would have been fucking scuffed. To me, it would be like… why would they make him so Fuuma-centric to the point that even his dedicated chapter was not just focused on Fuuma but focused on the ambiguity and potential of him having romantic feelings for Fuuma, yet reduce him to being Fuuma's designated right-hand man. Don’t get me wrong, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. But again, rather than conclude Kazuki’s answer in Suki to be that his feelings were of friendship, they left it open ended and allow audience members to be actively aware that Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma still had potential to be romantically coded. It would just be so weird to quickly close off that narrative by giving Fuuma a love interest as opposed to letting Kazuki conclude it himself. It would be fucking beyond frustrating for me, at least Eventually, I kept trying to drive my hopes that they would explore Kazuki’s narrative at all down to the ground because it was a Fuuma-centric novel; maybe if anything they’d explore those feelings in his own novel after the fact. But then they kept having little drops here and there of Kazuki being even the slightest bit relevant and I’d go back to questioning “Are??? They??? Is this on purpose??? Do they know what they’re doing or are they just doing this because Kazuki’s just so important to Fuuma as his best friend that he’s there as his right-hand I genuinely can’t tell???” And um. Welp.
Safe to say Can’t An Idol Fall in Love sold me on the fact that they know what they’re doing LOL. And to anyone who thinks that Kazuki’s feelings can still be read as ambiguous in CAIFILWAI as opposed to explicitly romantic - whether it be due to a fear they may pull the “I like him as a friend” card or due to the disbelief that they have an explicit mlm main character in the Honeyworks series - I’d like to cover any bases that may make you think this way. If you think it’s just Kazuki acting like a protective friend, why do you think he calls Yui a rival? If you’ve only seen the MV and think it’s ambiguous or can be taken as the "likfe" for friend, then does that mean you think Yui’s feelings toward Fuuma are also ambiguous or as a friend? With the way Yui responds, she is trying to rival Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma. She and Kazuki recognize whatever feeling it is that they hold towards Fuuma, both of their feelings are the same type. I don’t think most people would argue that Yui’s confession about Fuuma was one of pure respect and friendship. Plus, if anything I’d argue of the three characters in the MV, Fuuma is the one whose feelings are left the most ambiguous despite him being the central character. It’s heavily implied that he may be forming feelings for Yui, but nowhere is it established either in the song or in the MV, especially if you compare it to Kazuki and Yui’s declarations or if you compare it to Sara’s feelings for Uru in Can’t An Idol Fall in Love. Fuuma’s romantic narrative here is trying to figure out how he feels for Yui, while for Kazuki and Yui they’ve established a rivalry because they both have mutually established they like Fuuma romantically.
If the MV isn’t enough for you and Suki isn’t enough for you for...some reason…??? You can check out the snippets of the light novel which the wonderful takanenene translated: one which revisits the conflict set up in Suki and one that covers the confession scene in the MV in more detail. If the fact that the conflict set up in Suki (aka the lurking feeling of not knowing if all he felt for Fuuma was only platonic or more than platonic) was specifically reestablished in the LN for anyone who didn’t keep up with Dolce Diary didn’t tip you off that it was something important, his behavior in the confession scene as depicted by the LN definitely should have. He’s possessive about his spot by Fuuma’s side. He doesn’t want that spot to be taken by anyone else. Even if he knows that they can help Fuuma, he wants it to be him. And this line: “Kazuki then trails off his words, quietly saying ‘That’s why…’ and then gave Yui a slightly painful smile, his cheeks turning red,” before he declares Yui a rival and states he likes Fuuma. If you can tell me you read that line and are still on the fence about Kazuki’s “like” towards Fuuma being romantic, please message me and I will see how I can get through to you. Like it wasn’t even just a romantically coded confession. It’s just a romantic confession. That “like” is romantic. And I’m so proud that he’s not only come to understand for himself how he feels, but that he’s confident enough to ask the person he sees as a romantic rival to speak in private and not only clarify her feelings for Fuuma but before she can even do that firmly establishes that he loves Fuuma with conviction. Kazuki my boy I’m so proud of you. *sniffs*
And that’s it for establishing Kazufuuma as at least canonically one-sidedly canon and why there’s not only no reason to deny it but also why denying it is a fucking disrespectful move towards Kazuki. He’s a character, sure, but that doesn’t change the fact you shouldn’t write off his struggle to come to be convicted enough to say it out loud. This has been something weighing on him at least a year, if not more (all I know is it started when both he and Fuuma were in some year in middle school). And as a character in a piece of media, I’ve been saying this the entire time, but brushing it off as non-romantic is literally chucking a fucking pillar of his character’s story into the gutter. And to those who may be saying Kazuki’s confession came out of nowhere and is pandering reread this entire fucking essay again I dare you to do it and tell me to my face it’s pandering. Again. Writing off the buildup as pandering is disrespectful to him, disrespectful to his character and narrative, and disrespectful to the wonderful people who have been creating Dolce so diligently and have crafted this narrative for us. Saying his “supposed feelings” and “ambiguous confession” is pandering is like saying Fuuma’s crossdressing is pandering which. If you say either of those I will find you and I will shank you in the fucking gut. Even if you’re not fully into Dolce, recognize these characters are actually very well developed and executed amazingly, as per every Honeyworks character that has come to exist. I don’t blame you if you weren’t aware of the weight of Kazufuuma, but now that you read this I hope you are. That’s mainly what I needed to get out there, but as follows will be me more exploring how Kazufuuma has been built up and generally waving my hand off at where it may be going. If you want you can dip, thanks for reading up to here because I know I repeated a lot because it’s just. So important to drill into your head and has been something I’ve been hung up about constantly. LOL
As for where exactly they’re taking it from this point on, I honestly don’t know. In all honesty, I didn’t even expect them to take it the direction they did. But honestly, I think the direction they went with it is really interesting and better than I could have imagined, in my opinion at least. Honeyworks never ceases to amaze me with their storytelling and narrative choices, and I don’t think there’s any that stand out to me as being severely questionable that they haven’t reapproached at some point down the line. And, again, I think they’re treating this with a lot of care and deserved respect. So I’m just gonna be gushing about how smart they set it up and how smart they’ve been executing it and maybe my own hopes on the direction it could go.
Whether they make Kazufuuma reciprocated I have no real clue or bearings, but to me my gut reaction is they will. Of course, I’m biased, but again if you trace things all the way back to 2018 and step through Dolce’s content and growth from there, I’d say even if they didn’t know if they could execute it like this and see it to fruition, I’d argue that Kazufuuma has been at least heavily implied since the beginning as a relationship they wanted to explore from both sides of the relationship. Obviously I brought up Kazuki’s character bio already, but if you look at the *goes to count* 5th Dolce Diary update already has a joke jabbing at the fact that Kazuki is technically Fuuma’s type (and the way Kippei and Kazuki excitedly react is so cute). The fifth update. And as stated before there are tons of Kazufuuma moments in Dolce Diary, whether it’s played for comedic effect or played straight (and this is post Suki but oh my god I’ve said it before I’ll say it again get yourself someone who looks at you the way Kazuki looks at Fuuma oh my jesus). But song-wise, I mentioned the one Dolce album song I would bring up is Nade Nade and this is where it comes! 
Not only is Nade Nade specifically focused on Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship as opposed to the whole of Dolce despite being the first song, it included the setup/preview of the Fuuma-centric extra prior to the full release of the Fuuma-centric extra itself and was released early as fuck. Literally between the 6th and 7th update to Dolce Diary. Sure, it could be to isolate them as a duo for marketing purposes (they’re very often the two promoted idols together if the whole of the group aren’t included), but the way it’s established as a perspective song as opposed to a general idol duet is what fascinates me. Anyone who didn’t know about Dolce prior and only followed Honeyworks for music would be first introduced to these characters through this song alone, and maybe this is where my Kazufuuma bias comes from but I was one of those people LOL. I thought it was just a cute one-off relationship that they had set up for the purpose of a song and that it was an implied friends-to-lovers story that would never get a conclusion. Also I mistakenly thought Fuuma was a girl oop-. In the full context of Dolce, this song in part helped establish Fuuma and Kazuki more solidly as a unique duo out of all of Dolce, but it also specifically explored through Fuuma’s eyes just how much Fuuma recognizes and appreciates the unwavering support Kazuki gives him to follow his dreams as he wishes. For Fuuma, he loves Kazuki too, though whether it holds any romantic potential in the same way Kazuki loves him has never been explored to nearly the same extent. But Fuuma appreciates how Kazuki’s remained by his side and does everything he can to support him, so Nade Nade explores how his way of expressing his love and thankfulness to Kazuki is by never saying that he needs Kazuki by his side. He’s glad Kazuki’s always been there for him, and his reciprocation takes on the form of being ready to unwaveringly support Kazuki and not ask for more than he already has, even if it meant Kazuki would be leaving his side, despite the fact that he really does wish they could remain together forever just as Kazuki does. The one point he lets himself say something vaguely close to always wanting to stay together, he gets a surprised expression out of Kazuki and says an ambiguous “suki dayo.” Of course, this it much less romantically coded than what we get from Kazuki in Suki and CAIFILWAI, but there is an interesting emphasis put on it nonetheless. Keep in mind, this is all established through the song, which released long before not only Fuuma’s character-centric extra released but also Kazuki’s character-centric extra released, so there is at least a substantial setup for Fuuma’s feelings towards Kazuki’s being strong as well and possibly grow to be reciprocated one day.
I think for me the most fascinating part about Nade Nade is how they tied it back around to Can’t An Idol Fall In Love with Another Idol. Again, without remembering Nade Nade, I still thought CAIFILWAI was brilliantly explored and executed, even if some people would have preferred no love triangle. But honestly, revisiting Nade Nade makes me trust even more the direction they’re taking with this. Whether or not they make Kazufuuma canon mutually (which. Even if they for some inexplicable reason didn’t I’m going down with this ship.), I’m sure they’re putting a lot of thought into the story, because the last bit of Nade Nade directly parallels the misunderstanding that arose from Fuuma mishearing the Kazuki and Yui. Fuuma is resolved to support Kazuki in any area he’s given the chance, and that explicitly includes if Kazuki had some girl he liked, which is what he assumes is going on. The fact that they tied this back around in the form of a misunderstanding was really really smart and Honeyworks is always so good at parallels and references back to their older songs, but for some reason I didn’t expect this. I don’t know how to say why, but the fact that the song that started it all, kicked off both Dolce and Kazufuuma, was directly referenced both visually in the MV with a cameo at the start and narratively despite the central dynamic being predominantly explored in this story in particular was that of Fuuma and another potential love interest and involves said potential love interest for some reason makes me think that (sorry Yui) this is all planned out for Kazufuuma in the grand scheme of things. That being said, I don’t know if me thinking it was planned all along is just me with shipper goggles, but the idea it’s come full circle nearly 3 years later is not shipper goggles and a very very well done parallel in my opinion, whether this trajectory was their plan for Kazufuuma from the beginning or not. Just wanted to gush about that some more. 
There’s more I could go into especially if I went into specific details about interactions or specific implications established in Honeyworks' Dolce content about different characters that would be fascinating to explore in relation to and under the lens of Kazufuuma, but I think this is uh...plenty long enough. Plus, I doubt you'll stop seeing Kazufuuma posts from me so those ideas will probably just be miniposts or somethin.
Back to the overarching point of this segment, idk what they’ll do with this story in the end, but do I think Kazufuuma will canon? I’m used to looking at ships that aren’t explicitly apparent with a sliver of skepticism, but all things considered (as I stated before) yeah. I don’t see reason why they wouldn’t now that they’ve explicitly identified there is a romantic dimension to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like to me, the setup isn’t something that would be written off as unrequited? And this doesn’t have to play into why I don’t think it will canon, my personal opinion on the Fuuyui relationship (again albeit through the lens of a hard Kazufuuma shipper lmao) has it’s own merits and is really cute, I find it cute in the way I found Koyuhina cute. I personally never really shipped Koyuhina, and especially since they slipped Kotarou into Ima Suki Ni Naru I was more curious about who this kid was and how he played into things I didn’t really see Koyuhina as something that would come to fruition. Similarly, there’s more importance in the overall sense on Kazuki than there is Yui (considering he’s one of the 5 original and focal members of this generation of idols, this would be natural), as well as the fact there’s just way more foundation and exploration in Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship than there is Fuuma and Yui. As for how much of a balance there is inside the LN itself, the fact that they seem to have spent a substantial amount relaying the foundation of Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship and re-exploring it (at least in Kazuki’s perspective) at all on top of how much content there is covering their relationship prior to the LN ever since Dolce’s origin just feels like that relationship holds more weight. Pretty much Kazufuuma feels more established as a priority in general. The way I personally hope Fuuyui plays out is whether they wind up holding mutual feelings or not or whether Fuuma doesn’t feel that way towards Yui is they get a relationship akin to Kotarou and Arisa. Albeit, Kotarou and Arisa never viewed each other in a romantic light, but they had mutual respect and solidarity. That’s the type of friendship I hope comes out of Fuyui. And considering there hasn’t been a break-up in any Honeyworks’ canon relationships (nor do I expect there to be… they’re all perfect for each other LMAO) it would actually be interesting if Fuuyui get together but don’t endgame and Kazufuuma is established as the inseparable endgame after some realization or another, though I don’t expect them to go that route nor do I know if that’d be the best way to go about it anyway. Also final point, Honeyworks seems to have a thing for childhood friends trope anyway soooooo owo All in all, don’t know where they’re taking it, just excited to see where it goes. 
TL;DR of this *counts* 7 page essay, stan Kazufuuma. Not gonna proof this. Maybe I’ll edit and repost but yall are getting a confusing clusterfuck of ramblings over 2-3 hr periods of me writing across 3 different days at around 5am each day. Uh. If you got this far like and subscribe and-- jk plz reply to this mammoth anywhere you see fit or tell me if you have stuffs to add or counter or whatnot I like hearing people talk about Kazufuuma ;w; I am Kazuki and Kazufuuma brainrot can you tell after reading this? No? Lemme just remind you I’m K--
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rwbybutincorrect · 4 years ago
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So... why do you hate Victorious so much?
BECAUSE I STILL WATCH IT???????? the show sucks so much, tori is a horrible protagonist who is a terrible person and does not learn or grow or really deserve anything she gets. she doesn’t even know half the BASIC THINGS upon coming to the school for performing arts idont remember what it was called. 
she is a HORRIBLE SISTER who treats trina so mean and like I GET BEING MEAN TO YOUR SIBLINGS BUT AT THE SAME TIME THERES LIKE NO REDEMPTION ON HER HALF LIKE AT LEAST TRINA HAS HER MOMENTS WHERE SHE SHOWS SHE CARES ABOUT TORI AND ACTS LIKE SHE CARES ABOUT HER BUT TORIS JUST LIKE “damn right” i hate them
and then dont even get me started on that stupid ass nerd boy who uses a puppet to be misogynistic and harrass women!! “rex why would you say that” SHUT UP NERDB OY YOU SAID IT YOURE A VANTRILIQUIEST STUPID IDIOT MAN BOY IDIOT ugh
anyway theres also that canadian boy who had no character besides being hot and rebellious that guy was an idiot (no offence canadians) hes just so useless as a character because all he does is just have girlfriend and be useless (but knows how to drive) idiot oh my god idiot god i hate him
andre and jade were kind of good i like those two 
(EDITING NOTE ACTUALLY WASNT ANDRE LIKE WEIRDLY LIKE LIKE ALSO LOWKEY MYSOGYNISTIC LIKE AT ONE POINT TORI WAS LIKE “pretend im jade :3″ and he was like “oh my gohg. i going to kiss you without your consent” AND SHE WAS LIKE “AAAH” AND HE WAS LIKE “AHH I DONT KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME” damn even the good ones have their L’s theres no redeemable people here)
BUT I AM CONSTANTLY ANNOYED WITH HOW THEY TREAT CAT. CAT IS TREATED SO BADLY THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SHOW andh er obviously abusive situation at home is played off like jokes and its like “UMM??? ARE WE GOING TO ADDRESS THIS??? ARE WE GOING TO IGNORE HER OBVIOUS CRIES FOR HELP” SHE CONSTANTLY TALKS ABOUT HOW HER BROTHER SCARES HER AND SHE HIDES “TO SURVIVE” AND BECAUSE SHE HAS THAT SWEET HIGH PITCHED VOICE SHES SO INNOCENT AND STUPID AND WE HATE HER UGAHPEHRAPHRWPRHHG cat is so charming and shes treated so badly with whatever she has going on i m so mad im so upset with how they treat her 
AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH TORI AND TRINAS PARENTS OH MY GOD THE MOST NEGLECTFUL PARENTS OF THE YEAR AWARD they are NEVER there despite the fact that their kids are CONSTANTLY going off on probably dangerous situations APPARENTLY ACCORDING TO MY BROTHER ALL OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS WENT TO JAIL???? AND WHERE WERE THEIR PARENTS?? THEY HAVE NO PARENTS Im so mad im so angry their parents are so neglectful like when trina had her wisdon teeth removed they said “okay we goin to hAWWIII” SHUT UP YOU DITIO PARENTS YOURE SO CRUEL I THATE YOU 
remember that time a teacher held a sleep over with his students and if they broke acting character THEY FAILED THE ASSIGNMENT DAWG A CHILD GOT BURNED ON YOUR SUPERVISION AND YOU SAID “IF YA BREAK CHARACTER YOU LOOSE THE ASSISGNMENT” SFHSFHAHFF I HAFSKHFF SHE AHFHFBAHFFF i need a minute im getting adrenaline from my rage  hold on i need to eat my cookies
[eats cookies]
WHY WERE THEIR PHONES SHAPED LIKE PEARS there was also this once scene where cat made brownies and they were OBVIOUSLY LITTLE DEBBYS COSMIC BROWNIES yet tori was like “you never eat my brownies :(” to her exboyfriend now dating cat and hes like “hbrrbrhuububububu” and its like THSOE ARENT BROWNIES THOSE ARE ARTIFICIAL AS HELL THATS A COSMIC BROWNIE i feel violent 
the episode where they crossed over with icarly was pretty good ig because sam and cat wasn’t bad as long as cat was appreciated because sam and cat both come from terrible households and now they’re dating ig guess??? goo dfro them :3
jade is done so dirty shes seen as selfish for being ambitious and wanting to succeed and have people be proud of HER ACCOMPLISHMENTS??? wasn’t there that one point where jade was performing her dark play that was entirely written by herself and performed by herself and none of her friends wanted to support her despite the fact that MORE OR LESS SHE IS ALMOST ALWAYS AROUND EVEN IF SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE LIKE SOMETIMES SHE OPTS OUT BUT LIKE SHES PRESENT??? BUT OYU GUYS CANT JUST KEEP DISREGARDING HER AND NOT LETTING HER SUCCEED JUST BECAUSE SHES A LIIIITOL PETTY all you bitches are petty be a little police to this GAY PERSON jesus christmas okay 
anyway dont take this too seriously, i legitimately dont care, to only reason i say “i hate victorious” so much is because its annoying how much nostalgia and sentimental attachment i have to it despite it being a show made by a terrible person and and a show that is just generally like. dumb. i think. i dont think its going to win any awards but whatever. it was a huge ploy to get victoria justice’s but mostly ariana grande’s singing careers off the ground i just think about this show with red anger glasses i dont mean to like. insult anyone or be mean to people who genuinely do care about this show because honestly i dont. i honestly could care less. i am just saying words because words are coming out of my brain and i need to say them or i will explode but this time i get to say them in front of a thousand + people so read this thank you
OH BUT STAN THIS SCENE 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5sGxCpf7ns
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bulletproofscales · 4 years ago
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im so soft for namjin so could i ask for a sweet fic for them? one where they spend too much time on the internet searching for "namjin evidence" and start getting scared because they think the fans are onto them
– such a sweet and fun idea to write!! it was just so enjoyable to work with. i had to look into namjin evidence videos just you know…. for research purpouses. it came out really fluffy, short, and fun! hope you enjoy
990 words
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371893
BTS love their fans, blatantly so. Their open relationship with ARMY’s one of the core essence of the bulletproof boy scouts as a group. It’s their fan’s love and support that pushes the seven men to work harder, go bigger, and grow, time after time.  The entirety of BTS can agree that the band is as dependent on ARMYs as the fans are dependent on them; which means, they thrive on seeing fan reactions to photos, songs, fan-written letters, and fan content. 
They don’t always get the time to be online, though. The painful irony of working so hard for their fans, that they don’t have time to meet said fans online; it sucks, but the payoff is always worth it when they get to five ARMYs the best of themselves and their music. 
And besides, it makes off days like today, that much more special. 
Namjoon has his head rested on Seokjin’s shoulder, quietly watching the older scroll through the timeline of a fake stan account. Maybe not the most romantic start to their day off, but they like it this way. The comfortable silence with just the noises of the city also starting to wake up this sunday morning; occasionally chuckling at a tweet, endeared smiles plastered over their faces at the sight of so many fans. Soft comments as they read everything. 
Seokjin’s continuous scrolling stops when a tweet  captures both of their attention. It read: ‘namjin being actually married for 10 minutes straight’, with a link in the tweet beneath. 
All it takes is once glance at one another, no words needed, before Soekjin is clicking the link. 
Their jaws are hanging low as the video ends, only when they hear the sound of a new video playing afterwards they snap out of it to pause it. They turn to one another with shocked expressions. Sure, they knew ships were a thing, they knew people shipped the two of them together (hell, fanfiction is a great way to research how to make stuff more interesting in bed; they’ll admit it shamelessly); and, fermented by their slow burned love and relationship, it had become very popular throughout their careers. They knew all of this yes. 
But still, they’d never thought people would actually be, as aware as they were of the two men. 
No, Seokjin’s and Namjoon’s relationship wasn’t completely a secret; the members obviously knew, they eventually told their families, and told their close managers once they were sure BTS was in a high enough position to be indispensable. But even their managers knowing isn’t really necessary, they like keeping it professional whenever they’re at work; whenever there are cameras. 
And even so, ARMYs were easy to suspect. 
“They… figured out the watch thing.” His voice is stunned, breaking the silence. 
“And literally everything else, Joon.” Seokjin says a little breathless in disbelief, smiling as if to hide all the other stuff going through his head right now. Namjoon sets his hand on his chest rubbing soft reassuring circles. 
“It’s just one video, baby.” His smile looks actually calm, almost contaging its way into Seokjin’s tense face. “It doesn’t mean anything.” It should be laughable to anyone else, the way Seokjin is so easily relaxed under Namjoon’s words.
Yeah, yeah his fiance is right. One isolated video doesn’t have to mean their entire relationship was dismantled or revealed. 
With shoulders that are much more relaxed, he feels Namjoon settle his head to its original position on Seokjin, both of the going back to the phone, only to be faced with the video that had started auto-playing. 
‘namjin being a newly married couple part 13’ 
Part…13…
It’s been a bit of a scarring experience, to see hours upon hours of content of just the two of them; doing things they’ve done thinking they were being convincing. But they couldn’t stop themselves from falling deeper into the rabbit hole. There was some weird fascination, being able to see themselves from outside eyes; for the first time being able to see just how obvious they were being. 
“How did we manage to be so careless?” Namjoon asks, staring at his fiance with widened eyes. 
“And this was us being sneaky! Who knows how many actual slip ups we have had that are uploaded online?!” He whines staring equally mortified. All this years thinking they were being so sly… 
“We’ll have to start distancing in public, I’ll have to force myself to write heteronormative songs again.” Namjoon’s tone becomes more and more dreadful. He gasps before staring at Seokjin with eyes like plates. “It will be like “war of hormone” all over again.” 
Seokjin’s expression widens, if possibly even more. “No… No I can’t. I’m not… strong enough.” There’s a small tremble to his voice, hands reaching to cling tightly to Namjoon’s; who squeezes back.
“It will be hard… There’s too many dilf hunter jokes about you.” Namjoon frowns, deep in though. “ But what choice do we have?” His voice softens, hopeless. 
Turns out, they did have another option. The option to just… not give a fuck. 
No, they’re not out in the open for everyone. As surprising as it is, Namjoon and Seokjin don’t like the idea of yet another thing from their private lives becoming public domain for everyone’s opinions; something that is so entirely theirs. And they’re still professional during work, it’s not like they started being blatantly all over each other. 
They just… toned it up a slightest bit. Not for anyone else, but that handful of fans who they know would look. Feeling always particularly proud of themselves whenever they'd come back home to see the timeline entirely covered by screaming from what they had done. Reactions like that just encourage them not only to go and check on their fans more often, but to be little by little the slightest bit more comfortable with sharing their love outside the walls of their apartment. 
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thornsofdeath · 5 years ago
Text
phf rants
as i’ve made clear im rlly impacted by this book. dont mind my lowkey venting
damn this is long
mista's coldness towards fugo / the stadium scene as a whole
it really really hurt me to see mista treating fugo, his old partner, his old friend like a dangerous enemy. i know he had his valid reasoning, but that very specific kind of angst shatters me. mista had his gun pointed at fugo for the entire stadium scene, not wavering for even a second. the worst part? it seemed like mista was trying to purposefully incite fugo to snap by right out insulting him and his stand, saying he was glad when fugo didn’t get on the boat. it seemed like he was egging fugo on just so he had an excuse to kill him, to get one more thing off his list of concerns. fugo as a person meant nothing at all to mista. when mista said “kill these traitors, or we’ll kill you” i wanted to cry. mista goes on about hoe fugo is a massive threat because purple haze is unhinged and can wipe out the enitre population if he wanted. fugo politely corrects him, as PH only has 6 capsules and can only attack 6 times in a day. did i see myself in that scene and feel fugo’s pain of just wanting to be left alone and not have to think about the past or the future, silent and melancholic during intervention and just feeling like the only way out is to kms right then and there? thats a secret ill never tell.  phf makes me smad.
there were some little details in purple haze feedback that got me thinking as well. in the 6 months between fugo’s leave and his cold reuniting with mista, fugo was playing piano at a bar. Most of the people who bring this up refer to it as just some cool trick he could get because he’s a rich kid. he is not. in flashbacks, it’s shown that bruno only knows how to cope with distress by isolating himself and bottling everything up. god, did i feel that. sheila e’s life goal was to kill illuso (to avenge her sister) and swore her life to giorno after finding out he killed him, it’s ironic though because in reality fugo had killed him, and in the first part of the book, they weren’t exactly friends. 
another part that really just made me wanna sob and bash my head into a wall was seeing fugo’s pure self hatred. since he was a child, he had it drilled into his head that if he couldnt produce results, he was worthless. after being disowned and thrown into jail with no future, he was completely hopeless. even after bruno came and took him in, he was never free of his liabilities. no matter what he did, he couldnt help seeing himself as some monster, failure, and burden. (kinnie moment) it worsened when he had to abandon bruno’s gang, his only saving grace was bruno, his light, hope, and acceptance. now he was stripped of that, gripped in fear knowing too well that betraying passione would end horribly. deep in his heart he wanted so badly to join them, to join his found family, but the logic he had drilled into his own head of knowing that betrayal was foolish and futile wouldnt let him have his way. hes back on the streets, just like how he was (or wouldve been after getting out of jail) after being disowned. he got a piano gig at a bar, and let himself wallow in grief and depression for 6 months. throughout the events pf PHF, we still see him clinging to memories and trauma. they say “what you let consume you will define you”, and i couldnt begin to describe it any better. putting all of the guilt and blame on his own shoulders, feeling he deserved it all and more. 
either i wasnt paying enough attention (this bitch got some rereading to do) or the purple haze distortion scene was kinda underwhelming. his character arc felt kinda rushed, like most of the book was establishing his bad state and constant flashbacks, and then all of a sudden he has confidence in his abilities and believes in himself. of course, im overjoyed he did get growth, and had a happy ending (depends on how you interpret it). stan fugio
vittorio’s fascination with pain really got me feelin. hgghhhhhhhh hh hnnhhhhh. he describes it well, wanting to feel his life force/energy in the form of pain so that he didnt ‘go extinct’, and the writing of it just saying straight up ‘cutting himself’ ‘hurting himself’ ‘self harming’ made my skin crawl. as someone who suffers with shit like that its both painful and relieving to know a character who has similar habits, whether it’s for the purpose of activating his stand or just to cope. 
2 times in phf, fugo does some kind of suicide attack. of course, he survives both. it’s never made clear whether or not he intended to die/didnt mind dying as it was a way of accomplishing his mission, but either way it got me heavy breathing. the last one especially, when he bites a virus capsule to kill volpe. did he know he’d grown and purple haze would miraculously save him with his own genius plan, or was he going out with a bang? luckily for me it wasnt really gone over like ‘hey you couldve died from that are you doing ok mentally’ or else i mightve felt nauseous reading it. im all for angst, but idk how much more i can take when its day 87 of quarantine and im numb as fuck just waiting to break down. 
angelica’s stand night bird flying (is probably not that complicated im just fuckin dumb) made fugo and everyone else hallucinate/dream. in fugo’s dream, it was pretty much an ideal au.  he was permitted to see his grandma when she was near death (preventing the professor scene), met bruno (fisher boy with fisher dad) on a boat and they became friends, nara went back to school and was doing good overall, abba remained a cop but didnt do any bad things, the whole group was all just good friends having a fun time. god i would licherally sell my body and soul for them all to be happy like that and all live. 
the concept of abandonment also messed me up, just the feeling that everyone say fugo as someone who abandoned the group in their hour of need out of selfishness made me wanna cry angry sad depression tears. hes a good man! let him be ok and happy i will fight all fugo haters no cap
every time i think back to the fugio restaurant scene i just. idk man it hurts me. the pessimistic bitch in me says that it would be unrequited and fugo would only be more sad because even through his efforts, he’s just another pawn working for giorno. on the other hand, it makes me soft n giddy because?? omyfucking god giorno asks fugo to call him giogio when NOBODY ELSE IN THE BOOK had referred to him as that. the fuckin “if grief anchors your feet, let me share it” part makes me wanna jusyt. complete my kin transformation into fugo and be a sobbin g  shaking mess in his arms as he tells me its all gonna be ok. was that a vent? absolutely. anyways, its pretty damn special for the don of the mafia to invite you to breakfast at a fancy restaurant before the place opens and its just the two of you. giorno fixes fugo’s injuries and tells him that he’s proud of his growth, and that he knew fugo could do it. dude?????? if i didnt already know i was a lonely affection/affirmation/attention starved bitch that wouldve done it for me.
holy fuck that was longer than i expected it to be. i do feel better tho
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secnghwa · 3 years ago
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hi vivi ! how are you today ? how has your done gone :o i hope it went well ><
kuroo !!!! i used to have such bad brainrot for him 💀 he is also everything I want in a man. i have never heard of that anime :o i’ll have to check it out !! time zones 👁👁 and nooooo don’t be sorry about being late >:c take your own time and don’t feel pressured about answering my asks. ill be here waiting ^^ (GAD THAT SOUNDS KINDA CREEPY BUT I DONT MEAN IT LIKE THAT) BDKNFKF I feel honored ??? idk you just seem like a very fun person to talk to <3 i indeed have a injury ;-; my spine + hips decided to be mean and go out of alignment which means I get a lot of pain in my lower back/hip area when I swim JFKNFKF AND YES I GOT MY TACOS AND MY MOM GOT ME SUBWAY TOO SO DOUBLE WIN !!!
(also ps i have a very very very bad habit of accidentally forgetting to sign off on asks and it’s already showing 🤡)
- 🍁 anon
i felt that self destruction post- i was trying to export gifs from ps today and it just [insert computer aggressively fanning] genuinely had a thought my laptop would break on me LMAO
also alSO ALSO YOU STAN SEVENTEEN ???!?!?!? im like. a huge carat HDKFBKFNF <3 and i see you bias minghao <3 me too <3 (although I swear I ult woozi,,,, no im not lying to myself)
- 🍁 anon (it’s me. AGAIN)
hihi vivi how was your day today ? I hope it went well !! i just started making ateez gifs again after getting photoshop and it’s been making my laptop go brrrrrr- i hope the gifsets that you were talking about reaches 1k vvv soon >:) also also also the new hairstyles :o i also very much love yunhos new hairstyle !! sans hair reminds me a chick and that’s all I can think when I look at the new pics 💀 mingi’s blonde hairstyle makes him look so soft and I’m just HDJFNDKKFKF 🥺🤧☹️
- 🍁
fsjdkf I HATE TUMBLR I CANNOT BELIEVE IT DELETED EVERYTHING I HAD SIX PARAGRAPHS OF WORD VOMIT /???????? anyways i guess it's time to try again to remembver waht i said FJIWEOFJSDKLF fIRST OFF !!! are you going to / /already receiving therapy/physio for your injury bec I DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE HURT FOR LONG !!!!!!!! THAT IS NOT PLEASANT AT ALL HHHHhhhHHHH please please please take care of fyourself !!!!!
second i'm sorry sorry sorry for always taking literal days to respond IT'S JUST THESE DAYS I'VE BEEN TAKING A SUMMER COURSE AND IT'S REALLY TAKING A TOLL ON MEM HAHAHAHH i've seriously just been coming on, queueing posts, and leaving oopS but alas it is what it is LMAO
third yes i am such a big closet svt stan like i have so many svt gifblr moots but I'VE NEVER FELT THE URGE TO GIF FOR THEM SO IT STAYS IN THE CLOSEt ???? but i am such a loser for china line bec i'm part chinese and it just gets me every time they speak in chinese BEC THEY'RE SO FUNNY it can't even be translated into english with the same amount of funny . .,,,, does that make sense???? also psssstttttt woozi ult i seEEE YOUUUU ( i don't rmb if i've aksed you before but who's ur atz bias heheehee)
FOR TODAY !!!!! today has bveen very. very fun after work i got together with a few of my coworkers (who also happen to be my school friends and also my family friends who i've known for like 7 years) ALSO YOU MAKE ATEEZ GIFS ?????? please if you ever need help with giffing n whatever do not hesitate to reach out i will try my bestest with my limited knowledge to assist you or we cld work thru the issue together omg it can be a learning xperience for me too !!!!! (fun fact when i was making my recent san inception gifset my laptop almost crashed on me as in it. froze for like a solid minute and just came back I GOT SO SCARED I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LOSE ALL OF MY COLOURING(
ALSO I AM LOWKEY PRAYING FOR THE FEW GIFS (like two gifsets i think) to FINALLY REACH 1K notes bec then it can be added to my 1k atz tag (which doesn't seem like a lot but i'm actually very proud of evbery single gifset in it MWAHHH) the gifs that r so . close (like 950 notes) are this one and this one HELLPPPPPPP
LASTLY THE ATEEZ HARISTYLES I CAN GO ON HOURS ABOUT IT !!!!!!!! it is truly an honour to be able to see yunho's streaky red hair ( fun fact 2 every single ateez era where a member has had pink/red hair = a hit and this is simply a fact . ) mingis hairstyle makes him look so smoochable in the kindest way i want to give him a hug and tell him he's doing amazing <3333333
PS I JUST WNATED TO THANK YOU FOR READING TYHRU ALL OF THIS WORD VOMIT WITHOUT GETTING BORED i am so sorry there are so many topic jumps but omg i get v excited talking to you <333 n i hope u feel the sam e!!!
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mayapenelopeclutterbucket · 5 years ago
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*SPOILERS* Thoughts I had while watching TGD 3x14 “Influence” aka please enjoy me overusing gifs in my attempt to be funny and express how I felt
-So just wanna start off saying I already know melendaire is working together this ep AND the next episode and I am so freakin ready and excited especially since their relationship is going to addressed this season 👀👀
-Aww cute Carly loving shaun and his quirks lmaoo he ended up late anyways I’m dyiiing 😂
-She reaaaally should’ve asked before taking that picture and posting
-PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME IM GONNA HAVE CLAIRE AND MELENDEZ BONDING OVER THAT ADORABLE CHILD AND MAKIN HER FEEL BETTER TOGETHER THAT SHIT WOULD BE CUTE AF
-WOOOOW really shaun you lied to Carly I mean I get why because she doesn’t like your friendship with lea but you shouldn’t have let her dictate that
-I love Shea tho and they so adorable
-Oop Morgan actually helping shaun to not dig himself into a bigger hole
-This girl is so adorable omg
-Shaun figuring out shit once again we stan
-This is gross now we know why they making those facial expressions
-Park ready to tear her apart for stupidity but Claire disagreeing had Melendez looking at her adorably as always
-Really no one defending shaun and telling her she shouldn’t record him if he doesn’t want it honestly FUCK OFF ASSHOLE ANDREWS AND MORGAN no surprise there
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-Aww Claire trying to get this little girl to poop 😂
-Park stfu you don’t know the struggles of women getting medical attention specifically black women and/or poor people AND CLAIRE JUST CONVINCED HER POINT ENOUGH THAT MELENDEZ SAID SHE CHANGED HIS OPINION AND HE NOW AGREES WITH CLAIRE
-THEYRE SO ENDGAME YALL 😭😭 and had me yelling oh my god at the screen after that
-Also park looked really frustrated how Melendez openly agreeing with Claire once again and I have a feeling he’s gonna be the one to say something snarky about their relationship. PARK IS JUST TRASH AND IM TIRED OF HIM AND HIS LACK OF DECENCY
-Oh snap Morgan just saw melendaire running together WE ARE ABOUT TO HIT THE BREAKING POINT AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP WILL BE CONFRONTED I AM READY BUT DONT WANT IT TO BE MORGAN BEING MEAN ABOUT IT and causing chaos with this info because you know she’s gonna insinuate favoritism
-Melendez faking Claire out was also adorable af i love this ship so much 😭
-ALSO YAY MORGAN FOR FINALLY GETTING HER FIRST(?) LEAD SURGERY I hope her arthritis doesn’t suddenly ruin it ://
-If I get a little girl dying this ep IM DONE it could push melendaire closer together but I really don’t need or want that if it means she dies 🙃
-Are y’all really trying to fucking force shaun to talk to reporters and do interviews?!!!? Y’all are TRASH
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-Is this why we see lea and Carly together next ep because glassy hires lea!!! YAY WE GET TO SEE HER AT THE HOSPITAL MORE FINALLY GOD BLESS
-Marla who’s only 3 just had a heart attack 😭
-YESSS GET HIM LEAAAA GLASSY IS SUCH A GROUCH SHOW HIM UUUUP also glassy the dislike is more one sided its you who’s always been iffy towards lea so grow up
-Ooof, shit is gonna hit the fan Melendez siding with Claire once again in front of park and Claire can sense it I’m feeling the tension w/ her
-MAN THEY REALLY PUSHING THIS MELENDAIRE ENDGAME GOD BLESS 🙌🏼😭
-CARLY SHUT UP LEA DOES NOT HOVER YOURE THE TOXIC ONE WHO TOLD HIM TO MOVE OUT WITH HER AND HE KNOWS HOW YOU ARE ABOUT HER SO YEAH HES GONNA HIDE HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH HER FROM YOU GROW UP
-Finally someone making Carly face her jealousy 🙌🏼
-God damn it nooo did Morgan’s arthritis just make her screw up 😩😩
-Morgan is def gonna say something about melendaire to save her own ass
-Shaun backing Morgan up wow I love it
-Okay but honestly if it was shaun that made that mistake I feel like lim wouldn’t be pushing telling the patient the truth AND I HATE THAT
-Yay the little girl is okay
-Awww people telling Morgan they’re proud of her 😭😭
-I am waiting for the other shoe to drop with melendaire and will it happen next week instead
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-never mind fuck
-LIM JUST CAME INTO MELENDEZ’S OFFICE SAYING THEY NEED TO DISCUSS HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH CLAIRE BECAUSE OF AN ANOYMOUS FAVORITISM REPORT
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-I knew this was coming and have a feeling it was park that made the report
-I do feel like tho Melendez is unintentionally showing favoritism towards Claire like I don’t think he realize but opinion wouldn’t be swayed as much if it was someone other then Claire making their case LIKE HES ALWAYS SIDED WITH AND BELIEVED IN HER SINCE DAY 1 ESPECIALLY AFTER THEYRE DEBACLE LAST SEASON LIKE HE DISAGREED but then said yes to the surgery AND THEN SHE ALWAYS MANAGES TO PROVE HER CASE
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-Also can I just say like Melendez was ready to defend his relationship with Claire and didn’t really deny it and knew it was coming so even if he does have feelings for her he wouldn’t let it go further and be improper and I LOVE THIS SHIP SO MUCH OKAY like he has not let it go further even if he want it to and will admit openly nothing more is going on besides FRIENDSHIP and omg I’m just loving that scene Jesus Christ
-SO NEXT WEEK THE EP IS TITLED UNSAID AND WE REALLY WILL HAVE MELENDAIRE DEALING WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP GOD BLESS WITH THAT EP TITLE AND I CANT WAIT
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-also we have lea coming to work at the hospital and going on a double date with sharly so that’ll be interesting as well
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ohoshi · 4 years ago
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omg first i need to talk about nct at song festival (gayo daechukjae) umm first of all mark and taeyongs rap was so good but ofc we all knew they would kill it. and then in nct U class, teacher taeyong looked so good...the way he bit that pointer stick thing in the beginning was so sexc (and the hair and the glasses ahdsfasjf) 😳 but also sungchans rap in that?? i was not expecting that but why am i even surprised anymore.. and also misfit live?? i loved nct's school uniform concept too for some reason ahahaha
and then xiaojun in resonance!! wow yes go shine xj!!! (also idk why but i found it so funny when it was doyoung's turn after xj, but xj was kinda blocking dy (who was really walking with a PURPOSE) so dy lightly pushed him out of the way) and then omg shotaro!! offstage he is so 😊 but damn in hard carry he was so good!! ahh and then also the thing where all the kpop artists at gayo daechukjae sang that song was so cute (i smiled so hard when nct came up 🥺)
yea for my job situation i think it will be okay, i talked to some people i know/mentors about it too and i think things will work out...they always do in the end right? 😊 now about anime LOL this is making me wanna start/rewatch an anime now hahahah! honestly i kind of have phases where i alternate between kdramas and animes, but i havent rly watched anime much lately besides haikyuu (which i was also surprised was still airing (but it's only season 2 so far?)). kpop (aka NCT) has been consuming my life lmao but im here for it 😂
weightlifting fairy was also my first kdrama!! yes i can totally give u some kdrama recs! besides the ones i mentioned before (which are most of my top ones), i also liked chicago typewriter, marriage not dating (i love the fake relationship trope hahaha), dinner mate, sky castle (it's kinda intense but it's so good and an iconic kdrama), cheer up, another miss oh, kingdom (if you like zombie things)...i heard startup is good and i want to watch it soon too! also i continued watching more of uncanny counter these past few days and i love it (but it's ongoing so no binging)
okay now svt: i watched some of your recs and youre so right all their choreos are so satisfying?! i also actually agree with you about black on black, i liked black on black and it was cool but it only featured like 5 members lmao and in the svt choreos it does feel like all of them are featured in some way in each performance? plus their choreos are just so great to watch!! also i've had left and right stuck in my head since i watched it LOL but i agree it's objectively better than dynamite (not an army though; also pls nobody come at us for this lmaoo)
also super random but can you tell me who is the one in the red/purple plaid shirt in the svt home dance practice?? i am kinda attracted by his dance moves LOL and i havent learned names yet 😭 i will continue watching all ur svt recs though hehehe and update you on the status of my fangirling :))
omg wait also i would never have guessed that you're not an english speaker just from these messages!! how did you know that i was prob a native speaker haha (i guess *technically* cantonese is my first language, but then i learned english in school so now i'm obviously more native in that lol and english is the only language i can read/write in)
OMGGF IKR as a multi stan i really enjoyed the rap collab especially because i really love monsta x's rap line (esp i.m!!! his rapping skill 😍) and of course mark and taeyong!!!! 😭 our boys 😭 our golden rappers 😭 SLAYED IT! omg the nct u got me 😳 taeyong looked so good???? wtf? and also sungchan? damn that boy keeps surprising me! the interesting part to me was when one member(johnny if i remember correctly) bumped into taeyong but it was done on purpose and how he uhhh kinda shook his body and his head but it all looked so cool and he never stopped rapping!!! love how they all 'performed' misfit manifesting wild teenagers in school (as they are tbh) IT WAS SO FUN AND COOL!!!
XIAOJUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAS SO!!!!!! GOOD!!!!!!! THE CONFIDENCE??? THE STAGE PRESENCE????? XIAOJUN CENTER???? XIAOJUN BEING RELEVANT????? i live 😭 he was so good he looked so good i was so happy and i'm so proud of him 😭 from here the only way to go is up! i hope he keeps surprising us! and omg i haven't noticed that part when doyoung pushed him bc he blocked him?? and i just rewatched it and it looks funny 🤣 but they held everything professionally 😌  no surprises there 😌
OH MY GOD THE HARD CARRY PERFORMANCE!!!!!!!!! first of all our boy shotaro DAMN 😳 he looked so good you couldn’t say that he just debuted a few months ago!! such a dancing machine! (but honestly i am not surprised because in make a wish he was rly good and he debuted as a dancer i expected from him to be good™ as he is!) and i love the duality od him <3 yk that kind of idol that you want to protect at all cost but the next second they're the one you seek protection from? yeH sign me uP! and don't even get me started on hyunjin, juyeon and moonbin!!!!! but i mean all 3 of them are main dancers of course they would look good™ 😌 (yeah shotaro performed with 3 main dancers of 3 different groups i mean the honor??????)
the end of the festival was so wholesome! It was a serotonin boost and me too i also smiled the whole time! so cute 😭 and ot23 were cutiesssss
yes! everything will work out in the end! don't stress about it!<3 oh haikyuu only has 2 seasons? wtf hsgsjsgs ok then i just watched when it had like 13 episodes, WHEN IT FIRST CAME OUT that's when i watched it lmao
OMG OK I HAVE WRITTEN DOWN ALL OF THESE DRAMAS (and from the previous ask) IN MY NOTES SO FAR im mostly excited about the fake relationship one 👀 i love fake relationship trope, too 🤧 oh no binging?? is that your thing?? usually i love to wait for the show to finish airing and then i binge watch it in a few days (or one day depends how busy i am)
SEVENTEEN!!!!: yeah all of their choreos are so satisfying (pointing this out one more time) they always pay attention to details (for example in home, bc you're familiar with it, they even choreograph the hands and pay attention to them while most of the other kpop choreos very often freestyle the whole arms sjagaj) here's a fun fact abt svt that makes me love them so much agsgsj: they're self produced! they produce their own music and they even come up with their own choreos!! (of course not on their own, woozi is a producer but he's not making songs on his own he coproduces them with [a producer name bc i guess that's irrelevant but if you’re curious: bumzu], they come up with their own choreo (to be precise, hoshi does! he is 1/2 main dancers in group and he is the main choreographer! he doesn't do everything on his own of course, he gets help from the rest of the performance team (which is a svt subunit consisted of their 2 main and 2 lead dancers: hoshi, dino, the8, jun) and of course some other infamous kpop choreography teams) and i think that, by now, all the members were credited at least once for the lyrics
I'M SO GLAD YOU HAVE LEFT AND RIGHT STUCK IN YOUR HEAD HAGSJSSGSG but i mean of course you would it's soo good and soo catchy (yeahhh no worries, this army has already gotten minor hate for having controversial opinions™ and for criticising her faves so idc anymore 💁🏻‍♀️ it's my opinion as a dancer and i stand by it, even can't you see me by txt is better than dynamite so literally 3 dance performance were better!!!! in a way!!!! and neither of the 3 won!!! yes i am salty!!!!!)
the guy in the red/purple shirt (the center guy when they do the 3 dances for the first time right??) IS DINO!!!! he's the maknae and 2/2 main dancers in svt so!!! of course you would be attracted by his moves!!!!!! JSGSJSN i'm curious to see if you end up staning svt and biasing dino hsfsjsgsha
CANTONESE IS YOUR FIRST LANGUAGE? damn i thought you couldn’t get more interesting here's a dumb question: can you understand xiaojun, hendery and lucas without titles??? not that i would know if they ever speak cantonese in front of the camera for i don't know the difference between chinese dialects</3
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hongism · 4 years ago
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(spoiler warning for anyone who hasn’t read the chapter yet before reading this ask‼️) CALY THE NEWEST CHAPTER IM SCREAMING I DONT KNOW HOW YOU DO IT BUT IT JUST GETS BETTER WITH EVERY CHAPTER AAAAAAAAAA my brain is literally just wtfwtfwtfwtf rn 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 mingi is best boy confirmed :(((((( the composure, the grace, the selflessness!!! we stan One (1) man ✨ captain seonghwa is mega sexc but also terrifying like i do not want to be on his bad side 💀 yunho being mega dumb dumb but i love how his pride/selfishness and desperation for redemption shows in his words, like when he said to mingi “everything i’ve done” shows just how much he relies on “fixing” mingi for his redemption which i don’t blame him but it’s gonna be a tough mindset to break yunho bc ur dumb but i’m here for u 😔 the woosang moments are heartbreaking as usual they just want us to feel pAIN 💔 also love those yeosang and y/n moments especially when they kinda sorta teamed up at the end after the explosion like yes besties!!!! go kick ass!!!!!!!! 🤩 but then we get the big reveal aka mr han jisung?????? JISUNG???????? JISUNG?????????? BITCH WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WHO IS YOUR MASTER WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO ISTG IF YOU LAY A HAND ON ANY OF THE CREW I’LL — ngl kinda sexc that he’s a spectre i didn’t give much thought about what class he was before this chapter 😔 JAJSHAJZ I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT COMES NEXT????? y/n has a different siren moniker in the end??????? i rmb the first one was something like umiko (child of the sea)?????????? what does this mean???? brain goes kaboom😔also i kinda have a question: when y/n and wooyoung were walking to the shop, why didn’t anyone on the streets notice/try to apprehend them since they were wanted criminals with huge bounties? is it because people there are used to seeing outlaws since vlad is teeeechnically a criminal but with connections to the military, so to the people there it’s “laaadidaaa just another day walking past criminals on the street :D” ? ahshajd sorry this is so long but i’m just so blown away and proud of u!!!! 🥺🥺 - 🦔
also wooyoung psychic i guess😔😔that’s also mega sexc and wooyoung bestest boy blocking the guard from knocking down y/n!! reminds me of those books/movies where the protagonist goes through a huge accident and has to live that same day over and over to figure out what to do differently to avoid said accident 🤩 i read a book with a similar plot but i don’t rmb what it’s called 😔 - 🦔
HEHE HI!!! im so unbelievably proud of this one, it is incredibly rare for me to sit back and go 'okay yes im proud of this' BUT!!! i feel that way with this one EEK even though a serious metric fuckton happened and it might have been TOO MUCH?? it's okay it's okay i'll be okay i just can't think too hard about it 😳 mingi absolute bestest boi! would you beleve me if i said that this isn't even the full extent of his growth like?? WOW im EXCITED!! we're all simping for acting captain park seonghwa and he's gonna be sticking around a little while longer 😏 YUNHO! fucking yunho! oh my god im glad you CAUGHT THAT!! that was a really intentional move for him to say 'everything i've done' that's gonna play a big part in his own redemption and we'll also be getting more into that little incident with mingi's father that yunho witnessed too ayy pain!! woosang! i stay simping for those boys i can't help myself when a whole them exists 😫 woosan and yeosang/yn fighting besties let's go!!! love that for them 🤩
then came my biggest curveball to date the one and only han jisung FSJKDLLKFD im honestly shocked at the amount of people who said that they thought he was dead like i thought i was Quite Clear that he was NOT dead but oh well IT'S QUITE OBVIOUS HE'S NOT DEAD NOW!!! oh man yall aren't even READY for what this is gonna bring. we're gonna see some jisung/yn tension some jisung/san tension some jisung/seonghwa tension just TENSIONTENSIONTENSION all around HEH
GOOD ON YOU FOR REMEMBERING THAT SIREN MONIKER!!! it's a HUGE HUGE hint for what's to come but it's gonna make more sense in the next chapter, i WILL say that Tsukio is typically a Male Name so take that as you will 👀 and recall the thing about markings on a siren's back as well 👀 and the MEANING of Tsukio 👀 then the next chapter will BASICALLY reveal a lot 😳👌
and your QUESTION!! goOD QUESTION!! so wooyoung is really in no danger of being caught bc if you recall on the character sheets, his banner does Not Have a Face which is meant to show that the military does not know what he looks like. y/n doesn't have one either, but that's because i didn't want to assign a face to her since she's technically a 'reader insert' heh, but all that to say, wooyoung would not be in danger of being caught bUT y/n would be, HOWEVER!! if you remember, vlad has a deal with the military that basically gets them to Leave Him Alone so it's safe to assume that he is in control of the entire sector of the city near the arena and that's why people are unbothered about seeing potential criminals in the streets heh 👀 THANK U FOR BEING PROUD OF ME PLS 😿😿😿
wooyoung definitely has some ~mysteries~ surrounding him huh 👀 i feel like i've heard of that what's it from omgomg is it groundhog day???
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chocojjk · 6 years ago
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cafes and pinky promises
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summary: bff! felix → idol! felix ,,, like i said , i suck at summaries 
words: 2.8k
a/n: yall im on a roll, i really don't know why im writing so much these past few days but enjoy,, i hope
not edited, per usual
as you entered your favorite cafe, you never expected to come face to face with the boy who filled up every second of your thoughts
in fact, it was the very boy that has created so many memories with you in this same exact place
you wanted to go up to him, to see how he was doing, ask him how idol life been treating him but you found yourself glued to the floor, unable to move
every single memory with him suddenly flashing in mind
-
the two of you met back in middle school
it was the typical story
you were the new kid in school,
didn't have any friends,,
sat alone at lunch,,,
then one day he came up to you wearing his brightest smile, the freckles upon his cheeks shining up like the stars in the sky
“hi, im felix”
(❁´◡`❁)
and the rest was history
you guys became the best of friends, practically glued to the hip
but let’s skip all that friendship fluff and fast forward to second year of high school
you guys have been best friends for a good four years now
one of the things that you guys love doing is going to the cafe a little out of town
the cafe had free wifi and barely any people so it became a routine to just go there after school and goof around
dont get me wrong, you guys do homework too
#getyoureducationkids
also like #fuckthesystem
anyways,,,,
since you guys were the smartest in your class, it never really took that long to finish homework and instead you guys would just have fun listening to music, telling bad jokes, watching a show on netflix, and sometimes even just playing rock paper and scissors
there’s never a dull moment between the two of you
honestly if it wasn’t for you and felix, the cafe would probably be out of business
even the owner knew you two
she was the sweetest old lady, always giving you guys extra cookies and letting you stay for as long as you can
she would also always joke around about how you two would make the cutest couple, comparing the two of you to her and her husband who were high school sweethearts
being young, the thought first made you wanna vomit
like ew,,, boys are gross
but as you grew older, you started seeing the boy in a different light
the small touches and the hand holding suddenly started to have meaning
everytime he laughed, it was music to your ears
his freckles became the most beautiful thing in the world, and you loved tracing each one of them
sure, you guys have had your own share of petty fights but at the end of the day it did nothing but strengthen the friendship that you two share
there were never any secrets
(((besides of course these feelings that were growing but shh we dont speak of that)))
you knew felix like the back of your hand and vice versa
and you could just see yourself spending every moment with him in the upcoming future
until of course one day,
“y/n, i need to tell you something but pinky promise you won’t get mad?”
“felix every time someone says that, people tend to be mad”
“y/n just pinky promise me you wont”
“ok, i pinky promise, now what is it??”
felix was absolutely terrified
he’s been meaning to tell you this for a while but every time he tried he just couldn't find the words to do so
and god, how he has let time pass him by
“im moving to korea”
you bursted out laughing and felix is confused as heck like?????
whats??
so ???
funny????
“seriously lix, you made me pinky promise not to be mad over a joke??”
you see, pinky promises may seem like a childish thing but it was sacred between the two of you
so when he used it over a joke, you just couldn’t help but let out a few couple giggles
however, as you turned to face him and saw the serious expression written on his face you found yourself at loss for words
“wait, are you serious?”
“yeah”
“wh-when are you leaving?”
“in a month”
“h-how long have you known???”
“ummmm” (´・_・`)
“felix.”
“Since we went to the park”
the park
you remembered that day, it was probably one of the happiest days of your life
you passed your math test with a perfect score and has just become the student body president of your class
on top of that, felix decided he wanted to treat you out for ice cream as he was proud of his best friend
what you didnt know was that this was the day that would change everything
this was the day he was scouted
the day he received the news that he was accepted as a trainee
and hes been finding a way to tell you 
but he just couldn't 
you were completely over the moon
as you guys were sitting on the swings, your hands occupied with your own ice cream cones
felix started talking about his dance team and choir class
you always knew how much he enjoyed those classes
yet as he talked about his passion, his eyes twinkling and his mouth curving into the softest smile, you truly got a grasp on how much your best friend loved music and performing
you can't help but think back to a few days ago, when your friend brought up how much your eyes sparkled talking about felix
you wondered if you looked the same as how felix looked now, talking about the things that he loved to do  
and then it hit you
you were in love with your best friend
god reader, how cliche could you be (●'◡'●)ノ♥
“felix, that was two months ago.”
to say you were mad was an understatement,, you were filled with rage
anger and disappointment all just combining into one
suddenly the future that you clearly saw vanished because every single one of those versions had the boy by your side
“im sorry”
not knowing how to respond, you started packing up your things in your backpack
felix just watching you do so, thinking of things to say to make the situation at hand better
once you stood up, he snapped out of his thoughts, worry completely washing over his eyes
“where are you going?”
“im going home.” you say emotionlessly
“let me walk you”
“no”
and that was the last of it
he tried calling you several times after that yet all he was left with was your voicemail
every time he approached you at school, you would walk the other way
every day he would show up at the cafe hoping to see your face, yet that day never came because you stopped going
you figured it’d be easier to let him go if you just stayed mad at him
you figured that your feelings would automatically go away if you replaced them with hate
but reader, you were so wrong  
the day came when he finally had to go
that day was painfully hard for you
your whole class was bidding him goodbye, and all you could do was watch from the sidelines, your pride way too high to forgive him now
no one really knew about your guys’ fall out as you found it was better to keep things to yourself than become the schools new gossip
and so when everyone started asking you how you felt, you responded with the most generic answers
“whatever makes him happy, im happy”
oh reader, you are such a liar
it wasn't until a year after, that you truly forgave him
and that was because a classmate of yours barged into the room, waving her phone around
“Guys remember felix!, well he’s an idol now!!”
as soon as you got home that day, you searched up his name, and there he was
Lee Felix
Stray Kids
and you realized how stupid you’ve been
you never even bothered asking him why he was leaving
you cried yourself to sleep that night as you look back on the wasted friendship that you threw down the drain
but you figured that there was no point in being sad over it anymore
you were done holding grudges
so the next day you went back to the cafe and binged the survival show that your best friend, well ex best friend, was in
the sweet old day was overjoyed when she saw your familiar face
she asked you where your partner in crime was and with a genuine smile you responded with “he’s out there doing bigger and greater things”
ever since then, you made the cafe a weekly trip
it hurt you to know that you spent your time resenting him so you made a pinky promise to yourself, that even if he didnt know, you would support him no matter what
you ended up buying all their albums
watching their vlives
staying up late for their debuts
hell, you've even gon to the point of making a stan account just to be be updated
-
which brings you to now
you knew that felix was in australia, they were having a concert here
you even got a ticket for yourself, not close enough where he could see you of course
you were still ashamed of your actions even though it’s been almost two years
so when you walked in the cafe and saw him with his 8 buds seated in your guys’ usual spot, you definitely didn't know how to react
seeming as they haven't spotted you yet, you quickly made your way out the door
however, Elise, the sweet old lady, had other plans
“y/n, honey, leaving so quickly?”
and that was when 9 heads turned to the door
all 18 eyes just looking at you
‘fuck y/n okay just act cool’
‘youre fine’
‘maybe they don't even notice you’
‘omg speak’
“y/n?” felix says, his deep voice breaking you out of your thoughts
“felix?? Hi!!!” you say, giving him the biggest fake smile ever
it’s not that you wanted to okay, it was just a very awkward situation and you have no idea how to act
‘smooth y/n, so smooth’
I swear if you could facepalm yourself, you’d be doing so with both of your hands + the hands of the 7 billion people on this earth
“uhm hi?,” he replies, obviously confused as to why you suddenly acknowledged his existence
truth to be told, he was expecting you to ignore him just like all the other times before
“well, won't you look at that, my two musketeers are back together,” Elise butts in, 
“ah, it's just like the old days, would you guys like some cookies???” she says, a soft smile on her face
“no that's okay El, im heading out soon anyways, can i just have the usual caramel macchiato?” you say quickly, ignoring the awkward tension in the air
“sure thing hon”
and as she goes to the back to make your order, you were left with the 9 boys
welp
its now or never
“uhm, when did you get back?”
you ask, your hands automatically playing with the hem of your shirt, a clear sign that you were nervous
“im just here for the week”
“oh,,, nice”
“Yeah”
(>_<)
the other boys just sitting in silence, going back and forth between the two of you
they know exactly who you are, and trust me, they arent your biggest fans
which is exactly why they chose to not break the awkward tension in the air
and you swear, you wish you can just have the earth open up and swallow you whole
“hon, heres your order!”
oh thank god,,
Elise is your savior
even though you wouldnt even be in this situation if it wasnt for her
you quickly grab your drink and make your way out,,, but not before saying
“uhm, it was nice seeing you again lix,” you say, this time, a genuine smile on your face
◐ˍ◑
when felix heard the nickname that you've once given him, he couldn't believe his ears
great job reader, you’ve left him stunned
taking his silence as a response, cause youre kinda a dumbass, you nodded to him and the other boys and left the cafe
however as you made your way to your car
something clicked inside of you
,,,,
fuck it
,,,,
you ran back to the cafe, grabbing the door wide open at the same exact time that felix pushed it open
which caused him to stumble right on top of you, your coffee being thrown a whole meter away
at least it wasn't on your shirt
“omygod im so sorry! are you okay?” he asks, picking you up and checking you for bruises
and youve realized that he hasnt changed one bit
he’s still your best friend felix
the same felix that treats you with so much love and care
the same felix you fell in love with all those years ago
and you couldnt help but let out a tear
this worried felix even more
“what is it?? whats wrong???”
you were blown out sobbing at this point
“Im ๑•́ㅿ•̀๑) ᔆᵒʳʳᵞ ”
“huh??”
“im so sorry felix, i-”
your emotions not allowing you to create a single coherent sentence
but because felix still knew you like the back of his hand, he knew exactly what you were talking about
“lets go inside okay”
all you could do was nod and let him guide you to your usual spot that was now empty
grabbing a couple napkins, he wipes your tears away for you before you finally became conscious of what was happening and took control
“I didnt know you still came to this cafe?” he says, finally breaking the silence
“yeah uhm, i started coming back,”
“why?”
“I-i guess i just missed you”
“I thought you hated me”
“No,” you say quickly, that was the last thing you wanted him to think
“i didnt hate you, i was just angry and sad and i acted upon those emotions. I was stupid, im sorry”
“its okay, i understand, youre not stupid y/n”
god damn it,, 
why is this guy so nice,,
“no felix, it's not okay. we were best friends, i should have talked to you. I-i shouldnt have cut you off like that especially when i didnt even give you a chance to explain yourself”
damn okay reader, admitting to your mistakes, im p r o u d
“Its all in the past now y/n”
“can you forgive me for being a bitch?” 👉👈
This got a chuckle from felix
“as long as you can forgive me for keeping a secret from you” he replies, shooting you a smile
you smile back at him
“ive forgiven you a long time ago lix”
,,,,
,,,,
felix has stopped malfunctioning
“ive missed you,” he says grabbing your hand from across the table and holding it the way he used to
“ive missed you too,,, so much,,, im so proud of you,”
“proud of me?”
“yeah, youve finally done what youve always dreamt of”
“you know?”
“of course i know lix, youre everywhere!”
“it kinda sucks how you know whats been going on in my life and i dont know a single clue about yours”
“I can always catch you up!” you say excitedly, but as you see the sad smile that began to etch his way onto his face, you see that that’s not the case
“busy schedule?” you question
“yeah” he replies, the grip on your hand becoming tighter, almost like he doesnt want to let go
“thats okay, im sure we’ll find some time,” you say maintaining the positive energy
right on cue, chan peeps his head in the door
“Felix we have to go now, i tried convincing them to give you more time but were already running behind schedule”
“aish” felix replies as his tears suddenly made his way down
he gets up and pulls you into a bone crushing hug as you breathe in his scent, taking it all in
“im sorry i have to go so soon”
“thats okay felix, ill always be here”
“i hope i can see you again before I leave,”
“oh dont worry, you will” you say, a big smile on your face
“what do you mean?”
“just watch out for me at the concert, yeah?”
“youre coming???!!!!??”
“yep, already got my ticket!”
and you swear youve never seen felix smile so brightly before
“you pinky promise?”
“I pinky promise.”
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elfangel94 · 5 years ago
Text
Teen Top in San Jose 2019
Concert Day
So I woke up at 6am and started getting ready. At around 9 I woke everyone else up and they got ready as well. I was dressed as joker for the costume contest but I decided I would put the wig on last minute before they took the picture. Unfortunately because it was so disorganized I wasn’t able to be photographed at all (more on that later). We got to the venue around 3:30 and there was almost no one there. A little later around 4-ish my brother spotted cap walking around the building with either staff or a body guard (we watched him but didn’t scream or say/do anything I don’t think he even noticed us we were pretty far away). Eventually people started showing up and staff came out. I had assumed that the contest would be first with all the participants gathered and then photographed, me and my sister wanted to take our pic together but I had already been lined up for the fan signing when she was photographed. I didn’t want to go in and see the boys in costume but they were very confusing and instead of some sort of order the photos were taken really randomly and some people were missed. After we were inside the venue they took some more but I was already changed. Anyway, I go in and in order Niel, cap, Chunji, Ricky and changjo are seated at the table. I walked up and gave Niel my letter and his gifts
Niel: “Hi!”
Me: “hi”
Niel: “To.. Teen Top?”
Me: “yes! And you!”
Niel: “and me?! Thank you~!” (He has the cutest lil voice)
I move on to cap and we say hi he started handing me the album and I was reaching for it when we both realized he had to pass it to Chunji 🤣 (we officially share the same one braincell) Chunji was really bright when he said hi and had this like idk naughty boy face I’m not sure how to describe it but I was weAK. Then on to Ricky who said “hi Rebekah!” I almost didn’t say hi because I was having a spongebob moment in which all my brains cells were having a meltdown over him saying my name. I moved on to changjo who had the warmest smile and just seemed so happy to see me. We said hi and thank you like the others (the interactions are so brief but me being a shy ass knucklehead who can’t do a speak makes it even shorter lol) after that I exited to queue up for the hi touch (this is where I had to change my clothes and I held up the line iM SO SORRY T-T) The hi touch was sO fAsT I barely remember it. I just remember being too nervous to look at them lmao so once that was over we went round again and did the group pic. I get inside and the lady told me to kneel next to changjo (kneel for changjo? glAdLY mY KinG) and he just kept looking at me and smiling so warmly and then he leaned on me and BOYYYYYEEEEEEE HE SMELL SO GOOD 😭 they took the pictures and changjo looked at me and said “thank you!” we literally created a new language consisting of only the phrase “thank you” because I’d say thank you then he’d say thank you then I’d say thank you again because I’m fucking dumb. But he understands. So we finished and went into the auditorium where I sat next to a really sweet cool girl dressed as Harley Quinn(who was also a VAV Stan I was so happy to meet another VAMPZ in real life😭💜). I don’t know her name but I was really thankful she struck up a convo because I was so nervous and anxious and her talking really helped me calm down a bit and she watched my seat for me when I had to go to the restroom so whoever and wherever you are thank you you are truly an Angel 😇 💜 I missed the boys coming out because I had a bathroom break and I legit ran back and started recording as I got back inside. At first I was afraid of getting too close to the stage but after a song or two I was like fuck it yolo bitch I’m moving uP and stood right next to the stage. Changjo was on that side mostly but Niel came over quite a bit too and Ricky as well towards the end of the concert. I was so close I could touch them (I wouldn’t and didn’t! Don’t fucking touch people!) I was really hoping one of them would take my phone but alas ‘‘twas not meant to be ☹️ but Niel, changjo, Ricky and Chunji all looked right at me and into my phone so that’s good enough for me 😭 some people said cap made a mistake but I missed it (I saw it later on my video 😂) all I saw was him absolutely dyInG of laughter. Boy was laughing so hard he couldn’t rap properly 😂he covered his face all embarrassed (he’s the cutest lil bean and I will break your knees if you say different) he was sitting down a lot tho and I’m really outta the loop lately so I don’t know if he was injured or not but I hope he’s ok :(
During Crazy changjo committed a murder by blowing a kiss to this poor girl in front and as her life slipped away as she fell to the floor he stood back and smugly appreciated his handy work. It was damn cute. Every time Niel came close my heart just went a little “AHHHHHHHHJDJDJDNDBRVSUSKRNFDIEJDJ”🥺 I still can’t believe how close I was. The encores were the best changjo threw water on us and got me wet now I’m never showering again. After the concert we had to wait for snapshots and since my little sister got 1st place in the costume contest she went first and I went with her to get her group photo with the boys. They came out into the lobby (also I was so proud of the fans No one was shrieking, chasing or tryna grab them it was very calm and intimate with them just kinda standing around with us for a Bit while things were organized) and immediately gravitated to her they all said hi to her and Ricky and changjo were going on about how cute she was. They all got up on the stairs an she zoomed up to get next to Niel. She was hidden by the other girls but Niel helped her get positioned so she could be seen it was such a precious interaction I wish I could have recorded it :( Once she was done she went back to my dad and I went to get my snapshots. First I got cap he was sitting down and I don’t remember if he said anything or not I said hi we took the pic then we said thank you and I got in line for Chunji. Chunjis greetings were Always so bright he said hi and he wrapped his arm around me (I felt like the queen of the world my dude Chunji has an affect) i finished we both said thank you and I got in line for Niel. About halfway down the line I started getting teary-eyed and had to do everything In my power to not have an absolute break down. When I got to him We both said hi and then we took the photo and he wrapped his arm around me and put his head on mine and held me so snugly and close. I almost started crying again but there was no way I’m crying in front of Niel cap Chunji and all these people so a bitch sucked those tears up. We take the photo and say thank you but as I start to walk forward to leave Niel quickly bent down and moved a basket full of film cartridges out of the way 🥺 I said thank you (shocker) and he says “you’re welcome” in his precious lil voice. I finished and went to go get my photo with changjo and Ricky. Ricky said hi all bubbly and cheery but he quickly changed when we did the pose. Ricky put on his smolder 😩I tried to stare him down too but ended up having to look away and just focus on the camera at the last second. I was wRECKeD. I was so disoriented by the smolderTM that I started to run away and almost forgot my picture 😭🤣Last but not least I finally get to changjo and again he just makes you feel like you’re the only person there and that he’s been waiting all his life just to meet you. I held his (huge) hand in his and kinda felt bad cuz he was so warm and soft and I was damn near frozen solid. Once I got my photo I realized I was done ☹️ so I went outside to wait for my sisters. I don’t really know what else to say other than they were just as amazing as the first time I saw them and I feel like I’ve been renewed, reborn, rejuvenated just by seeing them. I had so much fun the boys were wonderful the fans were wonderful and very respectful no grabbing (that I saw) or unnecessary shrieking in inappropriate times just overall really great and I really hope to do this again some day. Everyone was wonderful and the staff especially were very nice and helpful but the way some things were managed was very poorly and confusing other than that everything went great. I really hope they read my letter because it’s everything I’ve ever wanted to say to them and I need them to know just how much they’ve helped me in life.
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tetsurouette · 6 years ago
Text
the consequences | sebastian stan
Tumblr media
thank you for the request! im sorry the grammar is bad im in the middle of vacation now i cant focus really well
hope you enjoy!
REQUEST ARE OPEN
words count : 1.5k
Being a cardiologist means sometime you have to stay late in the hospital, dissect someone’s body and fix their heart. Today you got a call that you have to do a open heart surgery at 7PM. Its a long process, but its finally finished. You got out from the ER, taking off and throwing out your gloves, you walked into you office and sit, sighing. It was five hours of surgery and your legs hurt. As you drink your water, you took your phone from your purse and all of your tiredness is gone after seeing your boyfriend’s name on the screen.
Sebastian : good luck baby! Can’t wait to hear the process from my smart beautiful girlfriend.
Sebastian : are you done i’m bored
Sebastian : babe its been three hours i bet its a hard one
Sebastian : i’m coming over tomorrow, just call me if anything happens okay? I love you.
You type a quick reply and get ready to go home. You put your stuff in your purse and grab your car keys, walking to the elevator. You and Sebastian are dating for six months now. You met him when you operate his mother a year ago. He was the one who waited for his mother and you got to talk to him about his mother’s heart development. A week later, he asked you out.
**
 You are really confused right now because there are bunch of girls  sitting outside your apartment. You parked your car and got out with your purse and white coat on your left arm. The girls are standing up and waiting for you to come.
“Hi! Are you Y/N?” One of the girls ask.
You scrunched your brows but nodded, “yes and may i know who are you? Also what are you doing in front of my apartment at 12AM?”
“I’m Eve. We are Sebastian’s fans. We know that you are his girlfriend and lots of fans said that you are really kind to his fans. We’re just wondering if we can meet him for a couple minutes” one of them explained.
Even more confused than before, you walk closely to them. “I’m sorry but we don’t live together and i’m sure he doesn’t want his fans to meet him in his private place, where he can rest and do private things”
The girl who claim named Eve rolled her eyes, “now you’re lying to us. I know Sebastian is in there and he would always want to meet his fans! Everywhere!”
You smiled to them, “i’m not lying, sweetie. We live in a different place. I understand that you all love Sebastian, i’m sure you will meet him, but not now, and not in this place. This is my apartment, i don’t even know how you can find my address”
The other girl step forward, “we travelled six hours just to see him. Please, can we meet him?” She pleaded.
You sighed, “Sebastian is not here, girls. We don’t live together”
“Such a liar little bitch” Eve muttered, but you can hear her. Clearly.
“Excuse me? I just finished my job and i’m still responding you all because i know how much Sebastian means to you. Unfortunately we don’t live together and you can’t just come to someone’s private place. I don’t even know how you found my address, now you’re calling me bitch? I’m sorry guys but if you’ll excuse me i have an early shift in a couple hours i need to sleep. Good night”  you walked to your door, searching for your keys in your purse.
“I know you were whoring some men the whole night and lied saying you stayed at the hospital!”
That’s it.
You turned your body and smile softly as you took your phone from your purse, calling Sebastian. You don’t understand. They are look like fifteen and already saying that stuff to a grown up woman? You shook your head.
“Ugh..hey baby, what time is it? Is anything wrong?” You almost melt hearing your boyfriend’s raspy voice.
You replied with a louder voice, so they can hear it. “Hey sweetheart, sorry for disturbing your sleep. Actually there is something wrong. I found six girls in front of apartment claiming that they are your fans and they thought we live together. When i said we don’t, they called me bitch and accusing me for whoring instead of fixing someone’s heart.”
Before Sebastian can respond, you loud speaker your call so they can hear what’s Sebastian response. They all look frightened you want to laugh. You just don’t get it how they found your address and travel for six hours just to go here, expecting to meet their idol.
“What the fuck? Good god, i’ll be there in a minute”
You put your phone down, “see? Now you have to wait until he comes. Dreams come true!” You know you sound really mean but you can’t stand teenagers calling you names, and trying to disturb you boyfriend’s private time.
All of their faces are pale, looking dumb. You sit on a stair and pat beside you, “here, sit. You don’t want to be tired” you smiled at them. None of them are moving.
Around ten minutes later, a car parked behind your car, and your boyfriend comes out in his pajamas, looking good than ever, but annoyed. You stood, approaching Sebastian. The six weird friends’ eyes are about to jump from the place as they stand up nervously.
“I’m sorry girls but i have to ask you to leave. You can’t respect my girlfriend means i can’t respect you too.”
The Eve girl opens her mouth, “we are really sorry Sebastian, we didn’t mean to harass your girlfriend, we just love you so much and we really want to meet you”
Sebastian smiled, “if you really love me, you wouldn’t do this. Good night guys, my girlfriend has to rest.” Sebastian pulled you and open your apartment with his keys.
“Thank you baby, i’m sorry i bother your sleep. You could stay the night” you said, pecking his lips as you walk into your apartment.
**
 You came out from you bathroom, finding your boyfriend sit silently on your bed, doing nothing. You sit beside him, squeezing his thigh, “what’s wrong?” You asked him softly.
He sighed, shaking his head. “Go to sleep, okay? I’ll get your diffuser ready.” You can’t sleep without smelling lavender from your diffuser. Its kind of a habit, and Sebastian understand your habit really well.
Also, you know something is wrong with him. He will usually ask about your day on the hospital, or he will ask you to cuddle him once you finished shower.
You got into the bed, checking emails on your iPad, waiting for Sebastian to join you on the bed. Once he finished with the diffuser, he tuck himself into the bed and kiss you a goodnight, before turning his body, his back facing you.
Confused, you put down your iPad and turn off the lights, hugging his back, stroking his arm. “I know something is wrong. You know you can tell me everything” you kiss the back of his neck.
“Nothing is wrong, Y/N. Just go to sleep, you have an early shift tomorrow” he said.
“Sebastian, look at me”
Sebastian turned his body, facing you. You kiss his forehead, “tell me what’s wrong”
He sighed, “my biggest fear came, Y/N. When we started dating, i don’t want my fans to bother your private life. You are tired from work and you have to deal with bunch of teenagers waiting in front of your apartment, wanting to see me. I’m scared that you will get tired dealing with them and break up with me. Dating you the most amazing thing i have ever did. A cardiologist? Man, that shit is hard and i’m really proud to call you mine. I don’t want you to get tired of me” Sebastian said, tearing up. Your heart clenched, almost hurt.
You cup his face, “i will never, ever get tired of you. And i will never leave you. I know this kind of thing will happen and i’m not complaining, at all. Do you think i’m not scared? I’m dissecting someone’s body almost everyday.”
“But its your job, doll..”
You kiss his nose, “same as you, sweetheart. Its part of your job too, having strangers following you everywhere. I would never leave you just because of that. I know that’s the consequences.”
Sebastian sighed, “you look really tired and you have to deal with them. What if i’m not in the city? What would you do?”
You shrugged, “talk until they leave?”
“Its not gonna work, doll” Sebastian sit up, staring at you.
Following him, you sit up and playing with his fingers, “so, what do you say?”
“Move in with me”
You stopped playing with his fingers, staring at him, “r—really?”
Sebastian nodded, “yeah, i would love to have you company every time i’m here. Also they wont know my apartment” he squeezed your hand.
“But i have so much books and stuff..”
Sebastian chuckled, “don’t you remember i have two empty rooms in my apartment?”
“You’re right, and i get to clean your messy apartment every day now” you laugh. Sebastian is a really messy person. He always forgot where he put his things, and only clean it when you come over.
Sebastian laugh, “whatever, doctor” as he start kissing you.
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crunchyspicysalmon · 6 years ago
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heres my drunk review of LOVE + FEAR
Handmade Heaven: so when I first heard this song I was already in love like wow.... the song just gives me chills in general and is a very cute song. this song was beautifully produced - ive just overplayed it for myself which is unfortunate for me
Superstar: TBH not sure about this song at first, BUT I ended up eventually loving it a lot actually omg. very good song for radio, technically a great pop song. 
Orange Trees: Same as superstar, ended up loving it, but also not my favourite yk?? good to listen to on a nice day while on the streetcar or a train
Baby: fun song tbh!! also not my favourite, but the video was cute. I know this one was an obvious collab. liked that bit of gay/bi rep in the video. also I do like marinas solo version on the LP a little better
Enjoy Your Life: this one is a fun cute song, but also one I think we can all relate to. I actually got chills listening to this song bc of how damn relatable it was and how we all need to think about how were human and make mistakes and thats okay!!! just live your life right??
True: this song just reminds me of Taurus’s now lksdhfklhkhs but like it’s accurate right??
To Be Human: on a serious note, this song I feel is like.... just a lyrical masterpiece like its stuff that needs to be said, and like on a global scale. this song has an energy that everyone can relate to its a very 2019 song
End of the Earth: fucking underrated as hell!! like this song almost brings me to TEARS like I cannot express how much this song means to me like wow!!!! My hair raises when I listen to this song every time without fail and its just so underrated and doesnt deserve it!!! one of the best on the LOVE side imo. im cryin rn listening to it (legit not joking)
Believe in Love: this is one of those songs that I wasn't sure about at first, but actually ended up absolutely loving. this one became one of my faves on FEAR and it also almost brings me to tears. I have a lot of issues with love things and letting people in which may be why I feel emotionally connected to this song lskhdflkhskfl plus good harmonies also get me
Life is Strange: so like this song I kind of.... forgets it exists until it comes on either on the album or shuffle. like this is true, life is truly strange but this also isn't my fave. however I do like how its composed.
You: okay this song goes fucking HARD!!! at first I didnt even think I like it but like I really do like it a lot. i feel I perceive this in a celeb culture kind of way and its true, you dont rly know the person you stan, and sometimes even people you think you know yk?? also just the beat of this song goes hard too in general
Karma: hell YEAH!!! this song SLAPS!! its about women and what they have to deal with in the industry nd how it will no longer be tolerated and I fucking STAN BITCH!! shocked this wasn't a single... but like yo this song deserves hella praise!! its also fun to sing
Emotional Machine: the chorus fucking gets me, yall know harmonies fucking GET ME like wow!!! otherwise this song is aight yk? but still good. something actually young girls need to hear, their emotions are normal and make them strong!!!
Too Afraid: god..... at first I was like... this is chill, but I went through a depressive phase + listened to the lyrics and H E A V I L Y related like damn... this song started to really give me chills like every lyric in this song I relate to and it really kind of captures that feeling of isolation and being trapped in a lifestyle you dont want to live which is EXACTLY how I feel. also the chorus is fun to sing
No More Suckers: this one is just really fun tbh. its also a good message yk, like leave those leeches in the past who needs them!! dont let people take advantage of you!! 
Soft to be Strong: I dont know where the fuck to start on this song. this needs to be heard by everyone, especially men. like this is a universally relatable song, and something we arent told like at all really. being vulnerable takes fucking guts and its important to be able to show that sometimes. its better to be kind in the end, as cruel people have a lot of insecurities of their own. it’s easy in todays society to talk shit, we all do it all the time. but we've lost our sense of empathy in a way, and I dont know how to explain this since im drunk, but like as a psych major and empath this hits me in a certain way. another one of those songs that just gives me goosebumps
OVERALL:
okay tbh this is probably the best album Marina has released like EVER in terms of lyrics and technical production. her lyrics mean something, they aren’t just empty gestures and you can tell. she has so much wisdom and awareness of what is going on, and it shows in her lyrics. she has done a lot of collabs on this one, yet is still able to have her style shine through, even when you can tell it is a collab. im super proud of Marina, and actually happy she waited 4 years to release this. I think in terms of a number scale, I’d rate it a solid 9/10 - esp since I haven't been able to stop listening to this album since LOVE came out in early April. I HIGHLY recommend taking a listen and digesting the lyrics bc she has a lot to say and we should be listening!!
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lessonincanvases · 5 years ago
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all of creatures and heroes!
omg angel
creatures
Pegasus: Last movie you watched?
mmm honestly i think it was inside out?? me n my girlfriend watched it together after watching midsommar the dichotomy of man xx
Mermaid: Last tv show you finished?
FLEABAG and im just UGH
Centaur: Last book you read?
i reread nightfilm the other week!
Siren: Last song you listened to?
red door by julien baker ugh i stan forever
Gorgon: Last thing you ate?
a nutella and banana crepe 
Cyclops: Last time you cried?
three days ago bc i was tired lol
Minotaur: Last time you were truly happy?
today walking home from the bus bc it’s sunny and beautiful and warm today and my music was good and i just had a Fleeting Moment of True Joy
Sphynx: Last text you sent?
lmao i texted MANIC EYES to my girlfriend about a picture of her cat
Chimera: Last call you made?
my bank lol fuck phone calls 
Griffin: Last thing you did before going to sleep last night?
snuggled with my kitten 
Nymph: Last dream you remember?
the other night i dreamt that i was trying to organise my shit in a room that was full of rain and then my mother came in to have a conversation with me about something ?????
Satyr: Last time you couldn’t stop laughing?
yesterday when i was visiting my friend in hospital and he showed me a video of his dog opening the fridge and stealing an entire block of cheese
heroes
Heracles: Have you ever had a dream come true?
i have not bc i rarely remember my dreams and when i do they’re like. magical not anything real 
Theseus: What is your worst regret?
oh god um i think probably i regret letting my anxiety and fear of failure and rejection stop me from trying to actually get into acting schools 
Perseus: Have you ever been arrested?
nope im petrified of the police !
Cadmus: Have you ever had your heart broken?
nope lol
Achilles: Have you ever had to be hospitalized?
i have not
Actaeon: Tell about a memory you wish to forget.
uuuuuuuuuhhh so many of the things i did when i was young and awkward and i didn’t know how to be social without being super fucking weird 
Bellerophon: Have you ever passed out?
never!
Agamemnon: What is an achievement you’re proud of?
i’m incredibly academically articulate and good at the whole words thing so earlier this year i wrote a 2000 word personal reflection on an acting breadth subject i did in literally two hours and got an h1 on it lol 
Oedipus: Have you ever been in love?
ya :)
Jason: Have you ever travelled abroad? Where?
i’ve actually done a lot of travel! i used to live in bermuda which was wild and also my family is really spread out and also big on travel so i’ve been to a lot of places in the states, cancun, england, france, scotland, switzerland, luxembourg, austria, prague, canada, new zealand, tahiti, and south africa! 
Atlanta: Have you ever stood up for someone else?
yeah and it was terrifying 
Hippolytus: Tell an experience you will never forget.
ok ok so it’s really cheesy but like when i was doing some travel in europe on my own, i was in france for three weeks doing a french language course, and i went to a wine and cheese tasting thing the language school set up and after the thing i was walking to my host family’s house and it was sunset and late summer and warm and beautiful and i was the only one on the sidewalk and i remember feeling so giddy and free like the world was wide open in front of me and i literally danced down the sidewalk and i was twirling and laughing and so so happy and like the song i was dancing to is forever associated with this exact moment 
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