#also if this had been louise and persephone that probably would have run differently

[catsafarithewriter]

Hey, I think I sent that last prompt incorrectly. Sorry. If you’re still up for one, what about 2, with Baron and Haru?

Yesssiree, I am still up for prompts - sorry about the delay, I think tumblr ate a few posts (or I leant on a button… both are possible).

Number 2 was: “I look away for five minutes! Five! And apparently, you’ve managed to propose to someone whose name you don’t even know? This has to be a new record.”

(Also @tcrmommabear I know you asked for the same prompt, but someone else beat you to the punch.)

x

Propose was a strong word, Baron felt. Unnecessarily strong, really. After all, it wasn’t his fault that other worlds had their frustratingly casual methods of arranging romantic partnerships, and that he’d accidentally engaged in courtship. 

Again. 

“Haru, I assure you, it was nothing more than a dance–”

“It was not nothing more than a dance,” Haru retorted, her voice a low hiss as she motioned sharply to the doorway, beyond which the entire Stella Kingdom lay waiting for the royal announcement. “Not as far as they’re concerned!”

“Everything is under control–”

Haru drew back the curtain to reveal the royal balcony where the two monarchs were proclaiming the wonderful engagement of the crown prince. “Really?” she deadpanned. “Totally under control? And when are we getting you fitted for the wedding, Your Highness?”

Baron had the decency to look suitably sheepish at that point. “All I was trying to do was supply a necessary distraction while the rest of you located the stolen babylon candle–”

“Consider them distracted.”

“–talking of which,” Baron continued, “have you found it yet?”

“I don’t know - I left that to Toto and Muta while I hauled your ass out of an unwanted marriage. Tell me you have a plan to get yourself out of this mess.”

“Most certainly.”

Haru waited. “And?”

“Well, most of a plan. Part of a plan.” Baron hesitated. “It’s a work in progress.”

“What do you have so far?”

“Don’t get married.”

Haru groaned. “Have you tried explaining that it was a mistake?”

“Several times. Apparently the Stella Kingdom takes marriage proposals very seriously.”

“How seriously?”

“Till death do us part seriously.” 

Haru groaned again. “This wouldn’t happen if you weren’t such a flirt.”

Baron made an indignant sound. “I do not flirt.”

“Not intentionally! But why, in the name of sanity, did you think asking the crown prince for a dance would be the best way to distract the royal family?”

“Would you rather we had gone with Muta’s smoke bomb suggestion?”

“At this point in time, I’m seriously considering it.” 

Baron didn’t reply immediately, and Haru wondered if he was also considering it when, “Do you really think of me as a flirt?”

Okay, so not considering her point. Sulking. How very mature. Haru raised an eyebrow. “We need to distract the royal family, and your immediate response is to dress up and slow dance with the prince? Yeah, some people might call that flirting.” 

“I happen to like disguises.”

“You don’t need a disguise here, nobody even knows who you are,” Haru said. “What about the slow dancing? Where does that factor in, if not for the romance points?”

“Waltzing is one of my many talents.”

Haru rubbed her temples. “Why couldn’t magic tricks have been it instead?” she muttered. “Look, Baron, you flirt. You might not mean to, and it might not be intentional, but given your tendency for dramatically romantic responses, is it really that surprising that people misunderstand you? And I’m not judging and I’m not telling you to change, but you should at least be aware of it.” 

Baron was quiet again, and Haru could almost see the interior gears at work. “Did... Did I come across as such when I rescued you from the Cat Kingdom?” he asked eventually. 

“A little bit?” Haru hesitated. “Okay, a fair bit. A lot. Like, a lot a lot for a teenager who’s never been swept off her feet before. Yeah.”

Baron took another moment. And then the penny dropped. 

“So your admission of a crush was not a platonic statement?”

Now it was Haru’s turn for silence. “Did you...? Is that...?” Her mouth snapped shut and she rearranged her thoughts before trying again. “What did you think I meant?”

“I wasn’t sure!” Baron remembered the announcement happening on the balcony beyond, and hastily lowered his voice. “I thought it might be a friendship thing.”

“A... friendship... thing...” Haru echoed hollowly. 

“Or,” Baron continued, and he definitely looked sheepish now, “some modern expression for being... in awe?”

“In...” Haru couldn’t even finish that sentence. She leant her mouth against her hands as she fought for something, anything, to say back to that. “"Really?” she whispered. 

“I had just saved you from the Cat Kingdom,” Baron reminded her. “I thought it could be the contemporary way to express... gratitude, or...”

“Or hero worship?” Haru supplied. “You thought I was admitting to being your fan?”

“I’m not quite sure what that term means--”

“Fanatic,” Haru said. “Groupie. Admirer. Follower.”

“I don’t understand what half those words mean. Do you see how I could have mistaken your admission for something... else, now?”

“Oh my god, it all makes so much sense. Your behaviour since my return, your obliviousness to all the hints I’ve been dropping, you thought I was just looking up to you...”

“So if it wasn’t... admiration, then what exactly does a crush--”

“It means I like you, okay?” 

“As do I, Haru. You are a good friend--”

“Romantically.” 

Baron’s mouth snapped shut with an audible clack. “Oh,” he managed eventually. He tried to add something else, and ended up with “oh” again, his eyes gradually growing larger as he rapidly reevaluated the last few years they’d spent together. When he spoke again, there was a noticeable crack in his voice. “How... How long have you...?”

“Okay, so the highschool crush wore off pretty quickly, but since returning to the Bureau to help with cases...?” Haru pursed her lips as she counted back the months. “It probably seriously started after the Shadow Kingdom case. And building up the few weeks before.” She met his gaze quickly, and then looked away, her cheeks rapidly reddening. “I thought you knew, but you were just being too polite to...” 

“To...?” Baron prompted. 

“You know. Actually turn me down. Which was... I mean, I didn’t know exactly what to do with that, but I like being part of the Bureau, and I like solving cases and helping you and Toto and Muta, so I was happy to stick around for that and not let my... feelings get in the way. And even though you don’t like me in that way, I still want your friendship, so--”

“When did I say I didn’t return the feelings?”

Haru stared. She ran the conversation over in her head to see if she had radically misunderstood any of their exchange thus far. No. No, this still didn’t make sense. She tried a smile. It came out wan. “If this is a joke, it’s in really poor taste, Baron.”

“I would never joke about something like this.”

“But I’ve been dropping hints and you never even noticed! You can’t... This doesn’t...” She exhaled sharply and sat heavily down. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I did! I was - I was hinting!”

“Hinting. But never said outright. I assumed, because you never spoke forthright, that your feelings towards me were strictly platonic and I didn’t want to risk our friendship,” Baron said. He took a seat across the table from her, looking far less ruffled than Haru felt. “As you have recently made abundantly clear, I am not the most... observant when it comes to recognising romantic cues. Given or taken. But that doesn’t change the fact that I hold a great deal of affection for you.”

Haru’s lips twitched into a smile. “Why do you have to put it so fancily? A great deal of affection? No wonder our wires got crossed.”

“Haru, I’m being sincere.”

“As am I.” She leant across and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “Clear enough for you? Because, just for the record, I also hold a great deal of affection for you, Baron Humbert von Gikkingen.” She watched Baron’s expression, her own heart beating at a million miles an hour. “Okay, and this is the point where you say something back.”

Baron gently brushed his kissed cheek.

“Baron?”

He smiled. “Miss Haru, just for the record, I think I may have a little crush on you.”

Haru snorted. “That’ll do.” Her heart was still racing, but it no longer felt like it was about to expire from mortification. Just shock. She exhaled slowly and tried to get her mind back onto their current predicament. “Typical. We’re having this conversation just as you’re about to get married.” 

Baron smiled. “Don’t be so sure.”

“Do you finally have a plan?”

“Did you ever doubt me?”

“Do you want an honest answer to that?”

Baron rose to his feet, bringing his top hat to his head with his typical flair. “Miss Haru, plans are my forte. Improvised ones, doubly so. Now, do you still have those smoke bombs on you?”

[sanrionharbor-blog]

Thoughts on Sansa S8 Endgame

Speculations galore! Long post ahoy!

Let’s run through every possibility I can think of for the end of show-Sansa’s story (and yes, there will be many more possibilities besides these because GOT is layers upon layers, man, I’m still new to the fandom, and there’s probably a lot I’ve missed).

At the very least, let’s do this categorically.

Dead, Alive, or a Fate Worse Than Death?

1. I’d bet money that Sansa survives the whole dang thing

2. But if she does die…it could be A) Sacrifice to save Arya, Jon, and/or Bran, B) in a possible collapse of Winterfell, C) after ensuring the demise of Cersei or a similar threat, D) something worthy of a song

3. Crack Theory: Sansa Becomes the Night Queen?

Shipping...

1. Let’s start with the most popular ship: Jonsa. While I’m not personally a Jonsa fan, I neither hate it nor see it as a complete impossibility. And while I’m not personally a Jonerys fan, I neither hate it nor see it as a no-brainer. Jonsa makes sense practically (uniting Targ and Stark, North & South; they already trust one another; cousin marriage isn’t considered incest in-universe, etc.), though I’m not entirely convinced if the show goes this direction that it would be the most romantic ship ever. The best I see is that it has vibes similar to Ned/Cat when they were first married to one another; they didn’t love each other romantically at first, but it would come with time. As for political!Jon Theory making this ship possible, while I wouldn’t completely put it past the GOT universe to make Jon that cold, it honestly doesn’t jive with what I think is at the core of Jon: which is a hardscrabble sort of nobility, decency, honesty. I mean, if he was politcal!Jon, wouldn’t he have come up with a smoother way to handle Cersei in their first meeting? Anyhoot, the ship isn’t hateful. I think the biggest obstacles are the fact that, even though they are technically cousins, they were raised as brother and sister. You don’t just erase that. This is somewhat “remedied” by the fact that they were never close and Sansa pretty much treated him as a whole-lot-less-than-a-brother for most of their childhood. But GOT has never shown incestuous relationships (again, I don’t really consider historically based cousin relationships as incestuous, but it is a close family bond never-the-less) as a good thing. At all. The Targ’s went mad; Dany’s brother was creepy as fudge; UMM Jaime x Cersei dear Lord; Craster and his Merry Brood, etc. (But this mainly just spells doom for Jonerys, IMHO). So, as with anything in GOT--it’s possible, it’s also not possible, there’s undertones, but there’s undertones for the complete opposite thing happening, etc. Lastly, as for the “romantic framing” of S7, I think it falls under that same maybe/maybe-not. I LOVE Jon and Sansa’s dynamic, even if I don’t see it as romantic, even if does or does not end up romantic. It is certainly one thing: intimate. And the framing (forehead kiss, bittersweet reunion, worrying for one another’s safety) supports that at the very least. If they don’t end up romantically, Jon is the last real strong male relative that Sansa has. That’s not to diss Bran, but D&D have made him a remote magical old man stuck in a teenager’s body. In some ways, he’s dead to Sansa too (as Meera said, “You died in that cave.”). The poetry, the irony, is that the people Sansa had the most problems with in her family (Arya and Jon) are all that Sansa has left now (yes, yes, I love Bran, but again he’s acting more like a solo unit than a family unit at this point)--and she realizes how much they’ve always meant to her. Jon, and Arya for that matter, are different sides of Sansa, just as she is a different side for each of them. The parallels are lovely, and this ship could very well set sail.

2. My personal favorite: Sanrion (Sansa x Tyrion, Tyrion x Sansa, whatever the preferred parlance is). Yes, I’m biased, so this entry will be the longest--BUT, let’s remove my shipper goggles. This, to me, is just as possible as Jonsa. That is, I don’t see it as guaranteed at all, but there’s plenty to read from the text. Let’s get the trouble spots out of the way: 1) the build-up has been few and far in-between since S4 (though they did throw us a bone in S7). 2) the 50/50 chance of Tyrion dying in S8 (no, I’m not basing this on “leaks,” interviews, or what-not--I’m just using this as a baseline guess, given that this is GOT and given that Tyrion is at the center of a very dangerous web of relationships), 3) the show possibly not wanting to ask a twentysomething actress and a nearly 50-year-old actor to act out anything deliberately romantic (however, I don’t expect an on-screen ship to be anything but unconventionally romantic--I very much see it being done with subtle dialogue, color theory, ambiguous looks, an epilogue, etc), and 4) Tyrion may or may not be in love with Daenerys. None of these trouble spots spells doom for me. The greatest “doom” is simply Sansa ending up alone (thematically possible) or with someone else (also thematically possible). Let’s break down counter-points to the trouble spots, then I’ll list my reasons why this ship could sail. 1) Almost all relationships in GOT are troubled and/or unconventional, built up over one season, hidden underneath layers of symbolism, or suffer from the fact that one or both partners are either dead or seperated (by this same token, Sansa’s other popular ships, Jonsa and Sansan, also suffer the same dearth of “development” or copious screen time. Arguably, Jonsa’s foundations were mostly built over the later seasons), 2) yeah, Tyrion could die (and I would be heartbroken but not blindsided) or Tyrion could live (but I would bet money that Sansa lives through the whole thing), 3) the show already put them through the most awkward phase of their “relationship” (i.e., their wedding night, though it was toned down compared to the books) and they can still sell this relationship in any number of ways (again, dialogue, color theory, looks, just holding hands again geez Louise), 4) Tyrion’s “love” for Daenerys is incredibly debatable and may only be used as fuel for a soap opera plot that I really hope doesn’t happen, but even the director of the S7 finale said Tyrion’s main concern was political and Dinklage proposed the idea that Tyrion only “think he’s in love” with Dany, that what most people feel for Dany is awe (I’m neither a Dany fan or hater, but it’s hard to deny that she’s shocking, enthralling, powerful, attractive, a force, for lack of a better term). Now, on to the practical/thematical reasons why I think this ship would work. Let’s use letters for this, haha. A) Fairy Tale parallels/Turning Tropes Upside Down: It’s easy to read inversions of fairy tale archetypes into Sansa’s storyline, as that is what her character is naturally drawn to: songs, princesses, true love, beauty. So far in the story she has learned that looks can be deceiving; life is not a song (though I wouldn’t be surprised if GRRM turns this on its head again, and Sansa simply learns that all great tales involve sorrow and darkness as well as joy and light--i.e., bittersweet vs. simply sweet); people are not black and white (Tyrion shows her that the Lannisters aren’t necessarily all evil and Littlefinger shows her that allies, even someone who loved her mother, are not necessarily all good); etc. Just some of the fairy tales/tropes that play into Sansa’s personal storyline and the subtext of Sansa x Tyrion include: Beauty and the Beast, Psyche and Cupid, Hades and Persephone, The Princess in the Tower archetype, and many, many more (I’ll meta about it one of these days--and there are already many excellent posts under the Sansa tag that expound on these). B) The Queen Elizabeth Theory: So Sansa has parallels with two remarkable historical Queen Elizabeths: Elizabeth of York and Queen Elizabeth I.  Since this has been said by so many before, here’s a quote and link to the article as summary: “The show is based off the War of the Roses, the real-life family feud between the Lancasters and Yorks that ended with the two broods combining their houses. Since the storyline happening at the end of season seven is extremely similar to this moment in history, we can infer that GoT will follow that path...” Link  C) Character Actions Written Especially For the Show: Just to name a few: GRRM purposely changed a moment in the books to where Sansa hands Tyrion a cup instead of him having to crawl underneath a table to do so; Tyrion remains loyal to his wedding vows (and this is probably inspired by his trauma for having killed his father and lover as well) even when it was very possible that Sansa had left him high-and-dry and the marriage was, in Tyrion’s own words, a “sham marriage”; Sansa and Tyrion both stick up for one another’s character, etc., and D) Also, aren’t they technically married? :-p [There’s a lot more, but again, I’ll save that for a future meta]

3. Sansan: While there may end up being a slight possibility in the books, I don’t think show-Sansa and show-Sandor are heading in this direction. However, the same fairytale motifs play into play here: Beauty and the Beast, Hades and Persephone, etc. Also, bridge4 over on Youtube has a fabulous analysis of the “unKiss” over on his channel, which I think could pop up in some shape or form in S8. Here’s the  link

4. Sansa Alone: Also supports the Queen Elizabeth theory. Specifically, Elizabeth I “the Virgin Queen.” This would a different form of poetry/irony: Sansa, the one who wanted most to be a queen consort and be married to a handsome king and have babies, ends up as a queen (full-stop) but leverages her power as a single lady. Not my favorite ending for Sansa, as I’m Teh Unabashed Romantic, but it’s plausible, thematic, pragmatic. Only time will tell!

The Fate of the North, Night King, Direwolf Theorizing

Just spitballing various takes:

1. The war is “won” (as in mankind survives), but Winterfell or possibly the entire North is compromised. As in, perhaps they have to trade the North to the Winter King at the promise he won’t invade the rest of Westeros. Or Winterfell explodes, so the North and all of Westeros is saved but the Starks lose their home

2. The Starks deliberately blow up Winterfell, for any number of reasons. Perhaps a bunch of wights or what-nots ended up there. Perhaps the dead in the Crypts were resurrected, and this was the only way to neutralize that threat. Or something deeper and darker lurks in the Crypts, something worse than the Night King. In fact….

3. Maybe the true enemy ends up being something awoken within the Crypts of Winterfell, and the Night King is not what he seems….

4. The old gods play an unexpected role

5. The godswood is burned or ends up in splinters or is used to create a new throne (ending the age of iron, fire, blood and making this a “time for wolves”)

6. Sansa’s direwolf Lady is resurrected (of course, poor Lady is headless…) and manages to wound Cersei (if she gets her arse up north, which seems unlikely) before Cersei’s killed by whoever the heck the Valonquar is

7. Speaking of, could Ghost be the Valonquar? I mean, he was the runt, the littlest brother of the brood. Eh, dunno. I just don’t expect the Valonquar to be anything close to what we think he/she/it/them is.

8. I like the idea of parts of the ocean being permanently frozen over because of something the Night King does. Dunno why. I don’t think there’s any foreshadowing to that in the show; it just sounds cool, and represents a permanent consequence to the land. Because I do not expect there to be zero consequence for the landscape of Westeros itself. The Greyjoy’s are already kinda sorta doomed (with eunuch Theon being the last male of that line, unless Euron’s got a kid somewhere and he ends up surviving to take the throne and not be a dick about it), so it’d be a bit of tragic poetry if their islands, their seas were frozen and lifeless but thanks to their efforts the rest of Westeros is safe and their people will have to make a life on land

9. One or both remaining dragons are frozen for all timez

10. Sansa becomes Queen in the North or Queen of the Seven Kingdoms (is there really an in-between?)

Bonus

Lastly, here’s just an observation on an important part of Sansa’s storyline and character development: Arya Stark. I believe Sansa and Arya adopted different pieces of the original storylines in GRRM’s book proposal outline--not that I put much stock in the outline. Sansa was created, at first, to add tension to the Stark family. GRRM says he was surprised by Sansa’s developments; he also says he empathizes with whichever character he is currently writing, so I think he just naturally found things that he liked in Sansa that made her more than a complication device. Because his original vision included Arya as the sole Stark daughter, I wouldn’t be surprised if Sansa and Arya aren’t the result of this once singular character being developed into two very different ways. The archetypal Amazon Wild Child and the Princess in the Tower. Two sides of the same coin--or, in Ned’s words, Sansa is the sun to Arya’s moon and vice-versa. For this reason, I don’t put it past Sansa to continue developing her personal brand of Brave Northern Lady and Arya developing her personal brand of Brave Northern Lady. Because that is what they both are: brave, northern, ladies. Will Sansa find herself at the center of a love triangle? I really, really hope not, but at this point if it is gonna happen I find it much more likely with Sansa than with Arya.

[tcrmommabear]

Every even number for Louise and Persephone

Want to ask about your ship? :link:

2. How’s their team work? Do they share well?a. I’d say they’re a pretty good team. They’re not always on the same page on how to handle things, but that doesn’t stop them from working well together. After all, Louise has learned to improvise well

4.First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?a. It was not love at first sight, actually! As much as the two like to wax poetic, their relationship was very cordial in the beginning.Louise just saw Persephone as another job, and thus treated her as she would with any client.Persephone was still keeping up her “Prim-and-Proper” attitude, though sometimes she’d make a wry remark under her breath. It wasn’t until she noticed Louise stifling giggles did the two start to become friends.And then after that, well, Louise kept finding “threats” towards the King and Queens lives ;)

6.Any tasks that are always left to one person?a. Louise does most of the cooking, since Persephone doesn’t know how. Persephone also does all the brawling while Louise sips tea and ignores the blood splattering across her face.

“Really, Sephie dear, you don’t need to be so enthusiastic. Three broken ribs would have sufficed, not four.”

8. What do the like best about their partner?a. Persephone loves Louise’s sense of adventure, though her flirting is a perk as well.Louise loves Persephone’s fur and her eyes when she discovers something magical.

10. Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?a. Neither drive (Louise is a grandma, Persephone is a heavy speedster), Louise does the cooking, Persephone does the handiwork (she’s got a knack for it), they both clean, they have no bills to pay (or if they did, it’s be Louise), and they both handle the public. Persephone is better at impromptu speeches, surprisingly.

12.Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?a. I’ve gone into detail about their wedding here, but the proposal was probably something Pirates of the Carribean like. Instead of getting married though, Louise just proposed with a stolen ring, and they both said “Shit, we can’t die now, we’ve got a wedding to plan”.Unlike other people’s honeymoons, where they do something Fun and Exciting, they literally just stay home and marathon movies. It’s sickeningly domestic.

14.Anything they both dread?a. Visits to the Cat Kingdom. Everyone always recognizes the pair, and there’s still a bounty out on them, even after Lune becomes King.

16. Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?a. Louise keeps secrets. It’s how she’s survived this long, being a secret keeper (though it’s also another reason why the pair are so hunted. Louise knows things she shouldn’t know).They don’t really lie to each other? They lie to other people and work to perfect their little web so they can keep out of trouble.They only cheat at poker when they’re short of cash ;)(Or monopoly)

18. What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?a. It really depends? Most of their dates are adventures they go on, with Louise doing over the top and cheesy things for Persephone.Mmm, they’ve dated for a long while. If we put Lune in human years, Persephone left when he was 5-ish? And if we put Lune at 18 during the film, then 13 years? And they dated for a few more years after that before they got married.Taking breaks from each other means getting separated during adventures. Sometimes they get into little squabbles if they’ve been stuck in the same place too long.

20.What does their home look like? Their room?a. It’s this weird combination of antique and modern and no one is entirely sure how. They have a T.V. and a record player in the living room, an oven and a fridge and a cast iron kettle. Also, lot’s of places to sunbathe.Their room is neat and tidy, Louise makes sure of that. There’s little pieces of chaos though, like their shared vanity and their closet.

22. Does their work ever interfere with the relationship?a. Mmm, sometimes? They both get pretty into cases a lot. During cases are one of the few times they’ve full on fought, mostly because they have different ideas on what to do to help.They seem to interfere in arranged marriages a lot xD

24. Any doubts about the relationship?a. When Persephone first ran away with Louise, she locked herself in her bedroom. Louise didn’t mind and slept out in the hallway to give her space.After that, they haven’t had doubts. It was just a shock to Persephone’s system.

26.How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?a. Everyone is pretty supportive of it. Though the Cat Kingdom has kind of villainized Louise? Though they’ve become the cat version of Romeo and Juliet. Except these ones live, and cause trouble in the Dog Kingdom

28. What are their vacations like?a.) Trips to the Bureau or the Cat Kingdom. Something light and mindless, to take a break from their usual adventures.

30.Could they manage a long distance relationship?a. Probably not. They enjoy holding hands and running together too much.

32. Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous?a. Yes.

34. Do they have any pets?a. Mmm, as they are, probably not. As humans, probably a cat named Wilbur.

36. What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?a. Both their strength and their weakness is their trust in each other.

38. What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do?a. R A Y

40Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to?a. A very specific broom closet in the Cat Kingdom Palace, the musicians corner of the ballroom, the balcony of Persephone’s tower.

42 Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?a. I mean… Louise doesn’t like it when Persephone puts her feet on their priceless coffee table, but at the same time, they’re both really guilty of it, so she can’t judge.   

44 Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?a. Louise is a little weirded out by the bodily functions type stuff, but other than that, they’re very open to each other.

[catsafarithewriter]

“Not to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m ninety percent sure you grabbed the wrong person." 

A/N: I immediately thought of this post with this concept a la haunted house attraction, ironically before we started discussing Disney’s Haunted Mansion on Discord. Anyway, human AU (for reasons that will be clear), enjoy!

x

This was the last time Haru would let Hiromi talk her into something. 

“It’d be fun,” she’d said.

“Different,” she’d promised.

“Exciting,” she’d wheedled. 

So far, the only point Hiromi had been right on was different. If she had included dark and cold, she would have had three for three. 

In her designated nook of the haunted house attraction, Haru lurked. She was rather good at lurking, she reckoned, and would be capable of lurking for a good few hours longer. Which was just as well, since that was what this summer job was paying her to do. 

She resisted the urge to scratch her nose. The face paint itched something awful and hadn’t lessened, despite what her supervisor had assured. A monochromatic design of black and white had sunk her face into skeleton outline; simplistic but effective in the gloom of the corridors. At least she hadn’t had to apply the fake sores and open wounds that Hiromi - albeit rather gleefully - had needed to administer.

The shuffling of feet and shushed voices announced the arrival of her next victims. She hunkered down into her shadow an watched as the guests - a young couple with the guy making a show of going first - rounded the corner, waiting until they were just passing before giving a pointed cough. 

The lights flickered, momentarily illuminating her face and its otherworldly makeup, and there was a scream as the guests fled onto the next corridor, dissolving into giggles as they vanished. 

Haru couldn’t help herself she grinned as she returned to lurking. Okay, maybe Hiromi hadn’t been entirely wrong. It had its fun moments. 

x

This was the last time Baron would let Louise talk him into something. 

In hindsight, admittedly, the haunted house attraction would probably have been a little more enjoyable if he hadn’t taken it upon himself to stand between Muta and Toto in their group lineup. If anything, it had forced the two to shout louder at each other. 

“And I’m telling yer we’re going the wrong way!” Muta snapped. 

“It’s a haunted house. There is no wrong way,” Toto retorted. 

“If we keep going this way, we’ll jus’ end up at the beginning.”

“Do you have fluff for brains? Obviously the entrance is that way.”

“Children, children,” Persephone chided from the front. “Right now the scariest thing is how loud you two can bicker. Shut up and let the ghosts do their job.”

Louise tilted her head back to shoot them a glare. “Also we’re leading and we’re going this way.” 

Baron decided against mentioning that he had already seen one designated scarer, but they’d raised an eyebrow at the raised voices and had evidently agreed with Persephone’s assessment. 

They turned a corner and the corridor dropped into deeper darkness. Their pace slowed, senses heightening in the absence of sight. Suddenly he was aware of his hands curled around Muta and Toto’s, the shallow breaths of his companions, the shuffle of feet, the tap on his shoulder–

He froze. Muta walked into him. Toto was pulled to a halt. 

“What’s the holdup?” Muta hissed. 

“Something tapped my shoulder,” Baron whispered. 

The lights flickered into momentary blaze, but all he could see were his friends and the crossroads in the house ahead. His sister gave a tug and issued them slowly along. 

“At least it was polite ghost,” Toto offered. “It could be worse; it could have actually tried to scare us–”

The lights flickered again and everything happened at once. A shape leapt from the darkness, a blur of movement, the face of death, the roar of something animalistic and feral, and Baron lost both hands of his companions. In the passing light, he saw the others scatter down the split corridors like something out of a Scooby Doo skit and he grabbed Muta’s hand and hauled the tailend of their team after the vanishing shadow of Toto. 

He slammed into a dead end. Okay, maybe it hadn’t been Toto. He leant against the wall, still holding Muta’s hand on instinct, breathing hard and feeling a little foolish, when he realised a few discrepancies about the hand he held. 

For starters, it was significantly smaller, palm fitting comfortable in his instead of dwarfing it, the fingers slimmer and less comparable to sausages than usual. 

It was also wearing a skeleton glove. 

He looked at the hand. And then slowly up to its owner. A skull stared back. It grinned, because skulls are always grinning, but he was fairly certain, even in the dim light, that he could see the corner of the scarer’s real mouth twist into a smile. There was the shadow of a dimple along their left cheek. 

It occurred to him that if he could see the dimple of their smile, he was probably too close for comfort. He tried to step back and immediately hit his head on a low beam. “Uh,” he managed eloquently. “Hello.”

“Hello,” the skeleton replied, the voice higher than expected and now he could definitely hear the smile. “Not to be the bearer of bad news,” she said, “but I’m ninety percent sure you grabbed the wrong person.” 

x

Haru felt a little bit bad for her overreaction. 

Not a lot. But a little. 

She had been planning to only tap a few shoulders, cough a few times, maybe lurk in the light - but at the dismissive ‘actually trying to scare us’ comment, she’d - without any real conscious thought - decided to up it a notch. Or several. She hadn’t imagined it would go down so well. 

Or that, in the confusion, one of the guests would grab her hand instead of their friend’s. She stared at him in the confines of the dead end, feeling rather confidence with the mask of her face paint. 

“Not to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m ninety percent sure you grabbed the wrong person.”

He grinned nervously. “Only ninety? What about the other ten?”

“I don’t know. You might have a thing for cute skeletons.”

“I might, but I don’t.” 

A beat passed. They were still standing intimately close. 

“So,” he said, “what do we do now? Is there a precept for this sort of thing?”

“Well first,” she answered, “you let go of my hand.”

“Ah.” He released his hold, running his freed hand sheepishly through his hair. “Sorry. I… don’t suppose you could get me back to my group, could you?”

“Do ghosts go boo?” She cringed almost immediately after saying that. “Sorry, I’ve been here too long. Yeah, uh, please hold.” She stepped back, hitching a walkie talkie from the depths of her costume. “Machida? Machida, you there?” She held it away from her ear as a cacophony of laughter crackled through the speaker. “Machida, stop laughing!”

“I’m sorry,” her coworker replied. “I’m so sorry, but you should have seen your faces!”

“Trust that to have been caught on camera,” she muttered. Louder, she added, “Machida, I’m looking for this guy’s group. Can you tell me where they are?”

“Sure, give me a moment.” There was the clack of keys as he cycled through the cameras. “Two guys, two ladies, the guys have been bickering for the past ten minutes?”

“That’s them,” Baron said with a sigh.

“Got them. Okay, they’re in Room F, the zombie cage.”

“Fantastic. Have Hiromi keep them occupied, I’ll drop him off there.” She flicked the speaker back into her pocket and turned to her accidental companion. “We could go the long way, but I have a shortcut. How do you feel about tight spaces?”

“Depends on the context.”

“In a totally non-murdery-way.”

“Oh. I’m good then.”

“Great.” She grabbed his hand before she could think twice, and pulled the hidden staff door open. “Follow me.”

x

Sickly green safety lights lay low along the staff back corridors, bathing the narrow walkways in a glow that made Baron think of preserved museum specimens. The scarer wove her way though with practised ease, as if she wasn’t surrounded by a Frankenstein-background reject, hand still curled surely around his. 

“You can’t scare easily if you work here,” he said, searching for something to break the silence and detract from the creepy environment. 

She gave a snort. “I’m not actually a huge fan of horror movies. I didn’t sleep for a week after watching The Signalman.”

He watched her outline silhouetted by the safety strips. Like that, it was easier to see the curve of her face and bypass the skeleton decal. “They why do this?” he asked. 

She shrugged. “It pays. It’s different. And my friend kind of talked me into this.” She glanced back. He focused on her eyes and not the skull design. He wondered what she looked like without it. “How about you? Are you a fan?”

He chuckled. “It’s not my preferred genre. My sister dragged us all along, but I’m fairly certain she just wanted an excuse to hold her girlfriend.”

The scarer laughed. “Does she need an excuse?”

“No, but she’s an opportunist. She’ll take any opening.”

“And so she dragged the rest of you along.”

“She has a penchant for that.”

“Apparently it’s a family trait,” she said, and Baron reddened at the reminder of what had got him into this mess to begin with. 

“Miss, I am sorry for–”

She waved it away. “Honestly, no worries. It’s the funniest thing to happen to me all day. And it’s Miss Skeleton to you. Ah, here we are.” She clicked to a halt by what appeared to be another section of wall until she slid it back to reveal a haunted house room beyond. “Your group should be just round that corner.”

His feet didn’t move. They should have, but they didn’t. “Miss Skeleton,” he said with a small smile at the amendment, “regardless of your good humour, I still feel somewhat responsible for this situation.” He considered. “Ninety percent responsible.”

He saw the grin now for sure, even hidden beneath the layer of makeup. “And the other ten?”

“Well,” he said, “you are the one still holding my hand this time.”

She released him with a sheepish aura. “Just making sure you get back safely. Didn’t want you accidentally befriending another monster while you’re here.”

The open door waited for him, but he still didn’t move. “May I know the name of the monster I’ve already befriended?”

“Was Miss Skeleton not good enough for you?” she teased, and she gave him a gentle push out into the room. But before the door slid shut, she hesitated. “But my friends call me Haru.”

“Humbert,” he replied. “But my friends call me Baron.”

She grinned. “I’ll see you around, Baron.”