#also if they try to make norman a sympathetic villain in the next game i’m going to eat a brick

[probablynotkat]

i was like really tired the first time i reblogged this so i didn’t really say a whole lot but oh my god absolutely yes. they could’ve done so much more with his character ESPECIALLY with his relationship with norman. i was really hoping they’d go down the route of actually portraying the conflict in their relationship after playing the first game and seeing harry mention that norman’s been reading his journal and also just. literally everything norman has ever done in that game, but from what i’ve seen of the second game they’ve watered it down so much that it’s almost unrecognisable from the original.

Number one opinion that I have that would get me shot at this point is that insomniac Spider Man’s side characters feel watered down. Especially Harry.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

The 25 Worst Movie Villains

If your movie is going to have a villain in it, you better be damn sure your villain is fucking fantastic. Of course, not every movie without a great villain is bad, but if you’re going to give us a major antagonizing force, is it too much to ask they be impressive? Hell, even bad movies know to make sure their villains a re memorable; Terl of Battlefield Earth, Profion of Dungeons & Dragons, the eponymous Giant Claw, they all have presence and memorability, even if it’s for the wrong reasons. So when a movie that is otherwise good or a movie that is already bad fucks up their villain, it stings, because when even arguably worse movies can make a halfway enjoyable antagonist compared to yours, well... it makes you think.

These villains are failures on every level. These are villains who could have improved the films they are in a great deal if they were better, but alas, they just... weren’t. Still, for the most part, the fact these villains suck is not really indicative of the film’s overall quality; true, most of these villains are from crappy films, but there are a few from good or even great movies on here.

Well, let’s not put this off any longer; time to be disappointed by the 25 stupidest foes ever to antagonize on the silver screen:

25. Drek

Ratchet & Clank

Drek was one of the most sinister and intimidating villains of the Ratchet & Clank trilogy on PS2, with superb voice acting from Kevin Michael Richardson, a truly heinous plot, and just generally being an effective bad guy. In the movie, he’s basically a bumbling, smarmy comic relief villain who is upstaged by his own henchmen. He’s also played by the normally awesome Paul Giamatti, who has succesfully played sleazy businessman bad guys to great effect in films like Big Fat Liar, but here he just falls flat… he just doesn’t suit the character like KMR. Maybe if Drek was better this film wouldn’t be the worst video game movie ever made… but here we are.

24. Malekith the Accursed

Thor: The Dark World

The sequel to Thor is already fucking awful, and somehow they managed to fuck it up even more by casting Christopher Eccleston as the bad guy, cutting out any scenes that gave him depth or clear motivations for more Wacky Loki Antics™, and then make him into the blandest, most generic doomsday villain you’ll ever see. At the very least the makeup is awesome, but it leaves one bitter knowing a great actor was wasted in this crappy role.

23. Hans

Frozen

Disney’s surprise villains seem to work the same way Star Trek sequels work; every other one sucks. And while for those movies it’s the even numbers that are good, the even numbers are shitty here. Hans scores a lot lower than he would simply based on the fact there is some brilliantly subtle foreshadowing for him, but it still doesn’t save him from being really lame compared to the previous surprise villain King Candy or the next one, Yokai. Hans hardly does anything evil until the last twenty minutes, at which point it’s just an incredibly jarring shift in character. The hate for Frozen is way overblown, but Hans isn’t something I can really defend too much.

22. Bane

Batman & Robin

I will defend this movie to the death. I will defend the villains; Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy are two of the best, campiest, and funniest comic book villains you’ll ever see. But this film’s version of Bane? He kinda blows. Nowhere is the brilliant strategist or the man who broke the Bat; he’s just Ivy’s dumb muscle. It’s okay though, she has enough personality for the both of them.

21. Goldmember

Austin Powers in Goldmember

I get that Mike Meyers likes to juggle a lot of characters, I do. And usually he does a good job at it; Austin, Dr. Evil, and Fat Bastard are all really funny in the first two films. I guess in this case three’s company and four’s a crowd though, because Goldmember just is not funny at all. He’s just a living dick joke with an obnoxious accent. It doesn’t help that he appeared in the worst film of the trilogy.

20. Anubis

Yu-Gi-Oh: The Movie

I get I probably shouldn’t be expecting complexity and depth from the villain of a movie based on a children’s trading card game anime… but no, fuck that. Pegasus and Marik both had a bit of depth to them and were great, and even some of the other villains from the weaker seasons had some level of depth. Anubis takes one of the coolest Egyptian gods, strips him of anything interesting to make him a god of evil, and then makes him look like a buff pro wrestler, relegating his true jackal-headed form to a brief dream sequence. What makes him all the worst is that his goal is really… confusing. Did he even have an endgame? Whatever, the movie’s non-canon, and considering how shitty Anubis was it’s easy to see why.

19. Paris Franz

The Killing Joke

How do you make an already awful prologue worse than it already is? Why, by giving it a totally ridiculous villain of course! Paris Franz has a weird obsession with Batgirl and can’t seem to go two seconds without making some innuendo towards her. Even worse, Batgirl finds his interest in her… cute. He was gonna rape her after gassing her, but, you know, I guess some girls are into that, no kinkshaming here. Doesn’t make Paris any more entertaining or interesting though, and it certainly doesn’t help that the only thing that could possibly make him better is the incredibly stupid sex scene that tops the worst part of the movie off.

18. Blackheart

Ghost Rider

Ghost Rider is a great, trashy superhero masterpiece, but that’s in spite of the villains, and not because of them as is usually the case. Blackheart and his crew of bland elemental video game boss demons are some of the most dull demonic entities ever put to screen. It’s really not helped that Blackheart is played by the creepy, plastic bag obsessed kid from American Beauty. Not even absorbing the thousand evil souls and becoming Legion makes him any cooler, as his every line still completely oozes corniness.

17. Norman Bates

Psycho 1998

You’d think it would be hard to fuck up one of cinema’s most intriguing villains, but you’re also probably not someone who ever thought to yourself, “Hmmm, Vince Vaughn would be a great choice to play Norman Bates!” Honestly, this casting only leads further credence to the idea that Van Sant only remade Psycho so that he could make a version so bad no one would ever try to remake it again.  Putting a masturbating Vince Vaughn in your film will certainly deter people, that much is true.

16. Katayanagi twins

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

How does one stand out in a film full of over-the-top, crazy personalities? By being incredibly BORING. And boy, are these two boring. No interesting backstory, not a single line of dialogue (since the actors didn’t speak much English), and easily the least interesting fight scene in the entire film, the twins are an utter letdown. The fact they have absolutely no characterization stings even worse after Scott has already faced down four other evil exes who, while not given massive backstories, had tons of personality and some insight given as to who they are and why they’re fighting. The twins are just there because Scott needs to fight ex #5 and ex #6. They’re living plot devices.

15. Aldrich Killian

Iron Man 3

Ben Kingsley spent the entirety of Iron Man 3 playing the Mandarin, Iron Man’s most famous foe, and averting fears of the villain straying too close to his Yellow Peril origins and being offensive. His Mandarin was cool, intimidating, seized your attention… and he was all a hoax, perpetrated by the ‘real’ Mandarin, who… is some pussy A.I.M. scientist played by the very white and very poorly cast Guy Pearce. Look, I love Memento, I adore The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, but Pearce is no Ben Kingsley. Thank god the creators knew how stupid him being the Mandarin was and released a short film revealing that he too was a fraud; maybe we’ll get the real Mandarin someday soon. Anything to wash the taste of Killian out of my mouth.

14. Rowan North

Ghostbusters 2016

One of the most baffling aspects of Ghostbusters 2016’s incredible heaps of critical praise is the fact that the villain is so vapid and forgettable that I actually have to look up his name every now and then to make sure it’s actually right; he’s that forgettable, and in a huge blockbuster franchise reboot, you need to be damn sure your villain is impressive. Rowan is not. The only remotely memorable part of him is the fact he turns into a giant version of the logo ghost and gets shot in the dick to be defeated, cementing the movie’s sexist undertones. The worst part is Rowan actually does have a bit of characterization that, if expanded, would have made him an interesting foil to the team or at the very least a more fleshed-out, perhaps even somewhat sympathetic, antagonist. But as we all know, the writers for this movie were gibbering nincompoops who couldn’t write worth a damn, so we have… uh… what was his name again… whatever, point is, he sucks.

13. Zeebad

Doogal

Jon Stewart’s villain is hardly the worst thing in Doogal – that honor goes to Jimmy Fallon – but it’s not exactly like he’s helping anything by being there. His villain is cliché, directionless, and not particularly funny, which is baffling since Stewart is a pretty funny guy. I get no one in this film was particularly interesting and the whole movie is just a really bad gag dub, but come on.

12. Aloysius O’Hare

The Lorax

He’s short, he’s ugly, his hair is stupid… No, I’m not talking about the title character you asshole, I’m talking about the one-dimensional Captain Planet villain who snuck into this story about protecting the environment and helped turn it into a generic “Defeat the bad guy and solve all the problems” story. At least he has a few good memes going for him, and his VA is having fun, but that doesn’t change the fact he is an absolute waste of an antagonist, and one wholly unecessary when the much more fascinating Onceler family is there.

11. Eddie Brock

Spider-Man 3

You know what? Venom was cool. Venom kicked fucking ass in this movie. It’s just a shame that for most of his screentime he had to open up his mask and reveal the pussy little bitch face of Topher Grace beneath. Yep, Eddie Brock is what really dragged this otherwise awesome character down into sucking, all due to the baffling choice to cast Topher Grace and the equally baffling choice to have Venom not only speak with his voice but to constantly have Grace’s face showing.

10. Justin Hammer

Iron Man 2

A villain is supposed to annoy the hero, not the audience. Justin Hammer didn’t get the message, because he is absolutely unfunny, obnoxious, grating, and just a piss-poor villain that sucks up screentime that the much more interesting villain Whiplash deserved. If this movie had two compelling villains, it would have probably sucked so much less, but instead we get Rourke’s totally neutered villain (because Marvel back then was constantly meddling with the movies) and an annoying prissy bitch who just fails on every level as a villain.

9. Minnie Castevet

Rosemary’s Baby

I will never get why this character is hailed as some great, incredible villain for the ages. She’s annoying as fuck. She’s just the obnoxious, forceful, overbearing neighbor cranked up to eleven and oh yeah she’s also an evil witch who got the titular character knocked up by Satan. She’s not funny, interesting, or entertaining, she’s just a painful-to-watch character in a movie that is already a hugely frustrating downer.

8. Plants

The Happening

Just because I love this stupid movie doesn’t mean I think the true villain is all that great. Yes, the big twist of Shymalan’s incredible unintentional comedic masterpiece… is the plants are the killers. You see, they’re mad at humanity for fucking up the Earth, so they blow some tree toxin that makes people commit suicide and okay did no one realize how stupid this sounds when they were writing it?

7. Dominic Greene

Quantum of Solace

You know how Bond usually fights hammy, world-threatening madmen who have things like death lasers, golden guns, and volcano lairs? Dominic Greene… is the exact opposite of that. He’s deathly boring and uninteresting, and considering how much of a grimdark shitshow this film is, him being a hammy madman would have been so very welcome. But nope. He’s just boring and flat as a plank of wood.

6. Bellwether

Zootopia

Zootopia is, without a doubt, one of the finest films Disney has ever made. The story is great, the characters are very well-written, the designs and atmosphere are top-notch… and then, for the fourth fucking time in a row, Disney pulls the hidden villain bullshit out and BOOM! This cute little sheep secretary from earlier was really the bad guy pulling all the strings. This doesn’t work very well because, as this is in the climactic final confrontation, there’s not much time to establish why she did what she did beyond a bit of dialogue. We don’t get to explore why she’s doing this or really see her be evil, and this is an enormous flaw with these sorts of villains in modern Disney films. At least before the reveal King Candy is clearly being an insane, sneaky dick, and Yokai’s identity is a more traditional switch that isn’t so much of a bother because he, as a villain, is onscreen being villainous frequently before his true identity is revealed; Bellwether, for all we knew until the reveal, was just a nice, overworked cute secretary girl.

5. Doom

F4ntastic

We’re never going to top the Doom from the cheapo 90s movie, huh? Even with that low bar set though, Doom has been fucked up every time they adapt him to screen, and of course the 2015 movie version of America’s original superhero family fucked him up worst of all, much like they fucked everything else up. Looking like a cross between a crash test dummy and a gimp suit, this Doom does little but bring to mind the infamous Dudepeel… and don’t worry, we’ll get to him soon enough.

4. Julia

The Tall Man

Spoiler! She’s the bad guy and she kidnaps impoverished kids to give them to rich folks who will provide them a better life, alongside an entire organization of underground extremists who do the same. You can almost see where this group and Julia are coming from; yeah, let’s take these abused kids away and give them a better life! That’s good, A+, gold star for you! The problem comes from the fact they also just take kids from poor people, and we in fact get to see one such poor mother who dearly loved her kid have her child taken away and given to someone else. We see her break down crying as she’s told by Julia her kid is dead. It ruins whatever point this movie was trying to make and comes out to being, “Well, fuck poor people, am I right?” The movie’s really trying to frame Julia as a sympathetic, “I do what I must for the good of others” villain but it kinda falls apart when your supposed anti-villain has about as much disregard for the poor as your average conservative politician.

3. Lex Luthor

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

I guess it’s dumb to expect anyone as good as Kevin Spacey ever again. Jesse Eisenberg is not a bad actor, and Lex Luthor as a goofier character is not unheard of (look at the Christopher Reeves movies), but… it just does not work here. Nothing about this Lex really screams Lex Luthor. He’s practically an “in name only” interpretation of the character. We can only hope his Lex will get better, but when his final line onscreen has Lex screaming out “DING DING DING” to Batman, there’s not much hope to be had. You can’t expect me to take a character who pisses in a jar and gives it to someone seriously. I’m sorry, it just doesn’t happen. The hate for this movie is some of the most overblown I’ve ever seen, but I will never speak a word of defense for this manic, cringeworthy buffoon of a character.

2. Dudepeel

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

You knew this one was coming. There’s really no worse fuckup in comic book movie history than the utter mishandling of Deadpool in Wolverine’s first solo outing. Ryan Reynolds as Wade Wilson earlier in the film is pitch-perfect and a faithful adaptation of the character… and then they kill him offscreen, sew his mouth shut, and down the crapper this character goes. This character is all the worst because it’s just so baffling as to why anyone would approve of something that just spits in the face of a beloved character... But hey, making absolutely idiotic and boneheaded decisions is par for the course for producer Tom Rothman, who fucked up this film and so many others.

1. Roy Burns

Friday the 13th V: A New Beginning

There’s really no other way to say this: Roy Burns is the worst villain ever. The last minute reveal – literally last minute, his role is not so much as hinted at save for one shot near the start – completely and utterly renders the entire film prior nonsensical. None of the victims he killed had anything to do with the reason why he was killing, his dressing up as Jason is so nonsensical… he feels like a character who was meant for a different movie but just got tossed into this because, who fuckin’ cares? You can read my review of the film for all the reasons why this is twist is absolutely stupid. One thing is definitely for sure: Roy Burns is no Jason Voorhees, and never will be.