#also if i have to be understanding of my mom's shitty moods i'm gonna need her to understand

[troglobite]

i love* when chronic pain flares up SUPER fucking bad for no discernible reason, completely canceling all plans and hopes i had for the day

*fucking loathe w my entire existence

[invisiblegarters]

(Absolutely not) Micro BL and GL Reviews

I spent the last couple of weeks being ill in bed with very little energy. Not great, but also it meant that my limited ability to get up and move around much gave me endless time to catch up on a bunch of shows that I'd let fall by the wayside (or never even started in the first place), and now I have thoughts to share!

Joy? Joy! Welcome to yet another set of my talks about shows that is supposed to be small but never actually is.

Completed

Wandee Goodday: This wound up being way sweeter than I expected from the promo material, but I'm not complaining. I genuinely love shows where most of the people are just trying to get alone while being decent, and that was certainly the vibe here. I was happy with the sex positivity and the introduction of Kao being ace, although I will admit that I felt like it was a little too "let me educate you" about that bit at certain points. That said, it's a topic that maybe needs that kind of thing in this context? I also really really loved that Dr. Dee and Yak got it together and spent a bunch of episodes just being adorable and dealing with struggles that had nothing to do with their relationship. It's so refreshing to see adults being in an adult relationship and actually acting like it. There were several times when the show could have just manufactured drama for drama's sake and chose not to and I really respect and love that. It was also fun to see Title appear in a role that wasn't to cause problems. And Char and Yei were fucking adorable my god. 8/10

We Are: Way better than I expected, if I'm honest. It got a little draggy for me at the end, but Pond and Phuwin always give solid chemistry and I finally got to see what everyone likes so much about Winny and Satang paired together. I never watched MSP and I never will because it's just a little too young for me, but Toey and Q were fucking cute so I get it now, guys. I especially adored Toey - Satang plays endearing brat very well. I also really liked Tan and Fang - their teasing dynamic worked for me. Also Boom is so pretty my goodness. I do think that it was trying to juggle too many couples but as I already said it dragged a little for me at the end so I think they could have done it with better pacing. It seems to me that New has a thing for dramas driven by internal conflicts, and that was We Are all over. The plot advanced as the characters did, which I can understand might be frustrating but I find that if I'm in the right mood I eat it right up. Especially ones like this, with mostly sweet people just living their lives and trying to do right by themselves and each other. Cute, earnest, a really good friend group. It probably won't be something that I revisit much or that sticks in my mind for a long time, but I had a good time. Giving it a 7/10, mostly for the pacing stuff I already mentioned. It kinda lost me towards the end.

My Marvelous Dream is You: idolfactory's second GL and I think I wanted to like it more than I wound up liking it. The chemistry was good and I love the cast (even if I think my girl Silvy was way underutilized), but the plot was a little...not great. I'm still not entirely sure what it was going for, or why the shared dreams were important. I really liked Ae (Kim's mom). And Wan was my favorite. Girl was messy and brash but my kind of messy and brash if I'm honest, and I cheered aloud when she went off on Mawin's family. They were awful. Awful, too, was Mawin in the end. I get being hurt but I always get a little (a lot) irritated when people mess with someone's livelihood out of pettiness, so him fucking with Kim's business because she broke up with him (and yes, in a really shitty way but also lbr here he knew she wasn't into him in some ways he did that to himself) was never gonna do anything but piss me off. It does amuse me that Heng has now played 2 dudes in idolfactory GLs who very nearly marry one of our heroines when she really really doesn't want him and he's very aware, though. I find myself wondering if he's gonna go for the third in The Loyal Pin (I hope he does). 7/10

Love Sea: I loved this one. I knew I would. The premise had me from moment one, lol. And frankly, Fort and Peat deliver on chemistry so it was kind of a no brainer for me. I knew that Trongrak was gonna wind up being really messy the second love came into the picture, and I was absolutely right. I love how he was perfectly fine with Mahasamut holding him and defending him against his shitty dad and following him around and getting all jealous when he implies he's going out to fuck other people (and whether or not he'd have done it is up for debate - I think he would have forced himself to try and failed miserably because that's my favorite lol) and take care of his niece like family, etc...but the second the word "love" actually makes its way out of the dude's mouth he can't handle it. My only quibbles were Prin - why was she so awful for no reason, MAME? The dad - he was not an effective villain to me. I wish that he'd been a little more menacing but I guess it works that he just let Tongrak think that he'd done a lot of things that he hadn't, and I do like that he was basically squeezing money out of both Tongrak and his mom just by showing up on occasion and assuming that they wouldn't talk to each other (which they weren't, both trying too hard to protect their family from his sliminess). I also like that it was finding that out that made both of them snap out of it. And last but not least - what the FUCK, MAME. How dare you give me that lesbian side couple and make it SO COMPELLING and actually get me invested than then not actually offer a resolution because oops, we're on episode 10 now and it's time for the love issue between Tongrak and Mahasamut to rear its head? How very very DARE you. Genuinely this made me the angriest and dropped my personal enjoyment a lot. I haven't seen the special yet so maybe that gets addressed (it SHOULD I was INVESTED), but while I would probably have given it a 9 (I really liked it a lot okay) I am dropping it to a 8/10 for that. Tempted to drop it to a 7 because I am petty.

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans: Another one I really liked! The chemistry between Sailub and Pon is absolutely scorching and while I have noticed that actors are getting a lot better about it in general, I always take notice when they are so entirely comfortable with not just the steamier scenes but the emotionally intimate ones as well. I love when I am watching a show and I can believe that the characters want each other and like each other, and not like a part of them isn't flinching at the very idea of it (unless that's the character, but just go with me when I say that there's just a very specific vibe you get when one (or both) of the actors isn't comfortable and I think it actually happens more with the sweet, couply stuff than it does the steamy stuff. But I digress). Chemistry like that can help me forgive quite a bit.

I liked how obnoxious Wan was in the beginning - I did not expect that and it was annoying but also kind of delightful. He grew on me despite my initial annoyance. Oab was a little different - he annoyed me right out of the gate by not calling Kao Suay and telling her about her dad. I get the respect thing, I do, but also what if he died and she was abroad, none the wiser? How would everyone have felt then? Keeping it from her was NUTS, and I don't even care that Kluer called her and told her for nefarious reasons. Someone had to. Oab's wishy washiness with her when she came back annoyed me too - a personal failing of mine has always been that I don't have time for that kind of waffling. I just wanted him to make a choice and stick with it (and was doubly annoyed as it became clearer and clearer what his choice was and he still couldn't just say it). Thank goodness he had Nubnueng there to gently prod him into finally doing the thing.

I wish Kluer's turn to villainy had been more evil, but I guess that wouldn't have made sense for this show, since no one really was, not even Enemy No. 1 Methas. Speaking of which, I wanted to like him and JJ more than I did in the end. I did like them, but I guess I just wanted more development there than I got in the end. They were cute though JJ was hands down my favorite character. I understood Methas so much. I also really enjoyed his relationship with Wan.

One thing that I thought was utterly hilarious was Oab's pettiness. As a petty person myself I can't help but find opening a new restaurant to steal all of your ex's customers because he wouldn't just apologize for, you know, deceiving you for most of your relationship and initially planning to sell your restaurant to the one man in the world you emphatically never wanted to own it absolutely hilarious. No notes Oab you keep rocking on. 8/10

Currently Watching

The Loyal Pin: Everything in this show is so damn pretty it's hard for me to think about much else. Especially Freen, and it seems like all the show wants to do is remind us of her beauty at every moment. Which, well. I am not complaining the woman makes my breath catch.

But this week I finally started paying a bit of attention to something more than oooh pretty, and I am genuinely wondering if this show isn't going to be all pretty dresses and gorgeous women falling in love and carving mangoes and if maybe there aren't some extremely serious things swimming in the waters.

Watching Anin wield her power this week hit me way way harder than all the ways that she'd been doing it before, and in a way that made me think a lot harder about how she'd done it before as well. I think it's because usually she sticks to manipulation to get what she wants - she's charming, she smiles, she talks people around - but last ep she dropped all pretense a couple of times, and we watched it cut more than once. Anin is a woman who knows exactly what she wants and she has the means to get it, she is spoiled and she will do whatever it takes. Other people have talked about it better, but I will say I am absolutely fascinated, and am genuinely curious to see if this is going to be addressed or if it's just the way it is. I also want to see if there's something that will butt up against Anin's frankly terrifying amount of power. Something she can't either manipulate or brute force her way through (although in the end I bet she manages to do one or the other anyway).

Also, kisses. Teach Pin more things Anin! She's a good student.

The Trainee: This show was not really on my radar at all, and I'm genuinely not sure why I decided to pick it up. Maybe because I was finishing up another GMMTV show and it was next in the youtube queue?

Whatever the reason, I'm so glad I did because I fucking LOVE this show. it's my favorite thing airing right now and that I never would have expected or believed.

It really is so good though. I think for me it's that it feels realistic - maybe in a way that can be uncomfortable for some but I love it. No one here is perfect, it's not just the mentors constantly schooling the kids because even though they are older, they are still growing too, and still have things to learn. Especially when it comes to Jane, who is my favorite character in the show I think and is hands down the best Off character I have personally seen. I am so iffy with Off normally that my adoration for Jane is confusing me, but he's so good. He's an adult and he handles most of his problems like an adult (which frankly I think is sometimes missing from these shows), but still has moments where he fumbles because he's still human. And I like that when he does fumble, he apologizes. I'm also really in to the whole deal that happens in the workplace where people think he's a certain way and judge him for it, but he's really just...dedicated. Strict, yes, but not entirely uncompromising. I dunno he's just a great character.

I also really like how this feels like an ensemble show with the romance not at the forefront. I don't always want that but this is so well done that I'm happy for it. I like that we have gotten to showcase each intern, their struggles and their achievements and just...growing up and learning to handle that scary point in life where you're really starting to enter the adult sphere, with all it's responsibilities, but still not ones that are entirely on your shoulders. If you do things the more traditional way, that is - I know a lot of us were in that world well before college. Still, it does resonate with me.

I am also enjoying the insight we're getting into the background of production. Such as how much work and effort goes into even the smallest change in filming even something that seems as simple and straightforward as an ad. Imagine how hard it would be to reshoot scenes from something like a TV show, especially considering the stuff like location, OT, cast and crew...I had already guessed a lot of it, but it's always nice to be proven correct. I like being right, what can I say? And the Ryan's awkwardly trying to draw people out without directly asking them how they are After Work Corner is very charming. I like that it gives insight into the business but also Ryan, who I do sometimes feel is the weakest of the interns. Which is insane because he's played by Gun Atthaphan, but there you go. I did like that he was brave enough to ask Jane about his feelings last ep, and I'm looking forward to seeing him more in his element (or at least what he's used to) next ep.

I really hope this show continues to impress.

1000 Stars - This is a rewatch for me as I roped a friend into watching for the first time. I warm up to this one more each time I watch it. The first time I was annoyed with Phupha's everything but I feel like I get him more and more as I go on. I also love a show that has heart (heh, this show has heart ror sure (and this is why we can't take me anywhere)) and this has a ton of it. It also amuses me whenever Phupha and Tian start doing their intense staring thing and there are other people around. I bet they're all just like "welp there they go again we've lost them, best go about our business" and leave them to it.

I also always forget Khaotung is in this one. Every time I watch I'm like "oh yeah" when he shows up. It's so funny to me.

Looking Forward To:

Peaceful Property (28 Aug) - Is it BL? Is it bromance? Who knows. Do I care? I...don't think so. Whatever the romance situation it looks like a ton of fun, and I am excited to see Tay back in glasses and to see this cast, especially doing comedy.

Kidnap (06 Sep) - This one also looks like fun. I love Ohm, Leng looks like he's doing a good job matching him, they seem to have good chemistry from the trailer. And pettily I'd watch this anyway because some of the shenanigans of certain fans have made me that annoyed. Good for me that it looks like something I'll like regardless, I guess.

Pluto (???) - GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME. It has been 84 years I am DYING here. If it doesn't get released this year I might actually cry, but I am hoping that it will.

There are others I am looking forward to (honorable mentions if you will): My Golden Blood, The Heart Killers, ReVamp (still a stupid title), Friendshit Forever, Hide & Sis, Us - but all of these are either not filming yet or so early into their schedule that I'm not letting myself get too excited for them. And for The Heart Killers especially I don't want this to be an Only Friends situation where I got really hyped and then was inevitably kind of disappointed (at first - I shook it off and came back around eventually lol). I just wanna go in there and have a good time - I'm excited to see that entire cast do a romcom, I think it'll be fun, and that's about all I want to expect out of it. I'll get excited when we get an air date.

Also thinking of picking up 4Minutes since it's on Gaga now, apparently. And maybe trying to find My Stand In since it's over and I can inhale those deliciously toxic fumes all in one (or two) sitting(s). And maybe, just maybe, poke around for BL and GLs outside Thailand, lol. I feel like it's been all Thailand all year for me when I used to watch JBLs and KBLs too.

Any recs?

[reaganridleyenjoyer]

Reagan Ridley X Neglected! Child! Reader Oneshot

Ok so y'all know that Reagan x neglected child reader headcanons I made, right ? I couldn't help but feel an urge to also make a oneshot about it.

This will follow a similar scenario as the headcanons one so I advise you read that first (not required to understand where I'm going with this plot though.)

Enough blabbering, it's showtime !

Trigger warning : This one-shot will contain mentions of neglect, mental abuse and nearly fainting. If any of these things make you uncomfortable, please scroll past this post. You have been warned.

3rd person POV

In the middle of an alleyway you desperately searched for some kind of food, but alas anything you found was either disgusting or simply not enough to fulfill your hunger. With a sigh you leaned against the nearby wall as you swore you could feel your vision get blurry. All you could do now was close your eyes and pray someone will come by to help you. Not like that will happen though... Right ?

Reagan's POV

As I drove back home, I spotted out of the corner of my eye a kid. At first I didn't pay much attention but I soon noticed something very wrong with them. The kid looked skinny, TOO skinny to be exact. They also looked to be nearly fading into unconciousness.

I thought about what I should do, I couldn't just leave them ! That'd be heartless of me ! But I have quite a busy job so... I'm not sure about taking them in.

..Ah what the hell.

"Hey ! Need a place ?" I shouted at the kid, they turned around and their tired expression turned into one of happiness.

"Y-yes please !" The kid shouted back at me as they instantly got into my car in the back seat, I instantly drove back to my home.

Small timeskip

After putting on my regular clothes and giving the kid some food, I figured it was time to ask them about what was going on and why they were all alone in an alleyway.

"So kid, I got some questions for you. If you're comfortable answering them of course." I gently said.

"O-of course ! Ask me anything, it's the least I could do to repay you." The kid replied.

"Ok good, so, why were you alone in an alley ?" I asked, the kid's mood seemed to dip a little.

"I- I ran away from home." The kid revealed to me, I grit my teeth a bit before speaking up again.

"Why did you run away ? Did something happen between you and your family ?"

"My p-parents never cared for me, they always either i-ignored me completely or they would constantly insult me. Telling me I'm w-worthless and stuff like that." The kid answered.

I wasted no time and instantly hugged them, I knew the pain of having unloving parents, a shitty childhood...

There was something in me, telling me to take care of this kid. I- I needed to ! I wasn't gonna let them potentially be taken by another scumbag family !

"You're staying with me !" I declared to the kid as I ended the hug, they seemed surprised.

"H-huh ?" Was all they muttered.

"You're gonna be staying with me, I'll be adopting you. You won't have to go back to that shit- terrible family of yours."

Tears of I presume joy, ran down the kid's eyes as they once again wrapped their arms around me for a hug. Was what I doing here the best decision ? Probably not... but I made this choice, and I was gonna be sure to be the best mother I could to this kid.

I had so much fun writing this ngl.

Reagan I feel would be that type of mom who tries her best, she's not the greatest but she does try to make her kid(s) happy.

Alright, that's all for now.

Sayonora~.

[savysavannah]

Challenge 1

Special thanks to @damian-schreave and @hadleyjaneharper for the rps.

Also the last section is not in fic format because its 2am, im lazy, and you get the gyst from the RP. Apperantly this is too long so part 2 soon.

    The Prince was off in Paloma for a bit so we were of little use in the Palace, no idea why they had us move in so early. Therefore, I’d spent most of the day with some books I’d grabbed from the library. Primarily they were legal books since it never hurts to brush up. But every once in a while, such as now I’d need to go and grab some food. 

I brought my notepad and a book on contract law with me and walked into the kitchen. There was another girl also in the kitchen. We haven't spoken to each other, she didn’t seem unfriendly or particularly awful company, just hadn’t really had the moment to. I grabbed a plate of fruit and wondered if she would say anything. After a moment I sat down and resumed reading. 

Then a small sad sigh came from the young woman who was looking down at her phone with a sad face. It wouldn’t be too bad if I took a break for some conversation. However, the young woman looked troubled, she may not be in the mood. I yawned and stretched then mumbled, but loud enough for her to hear, “God, I could use a drink.” and wondered if the other would take the bait. 

There was a beat before the other spoke, “Long day?”

“More or less. Lots of reading, missing work. How about yourself?”

She shrugged “Its...different than what I’m used to. Lots of sitting still when I’m used to spending my days moving around.” SHe grimaces then sighed, “The adjustment period is always the toughest, though.”

I thought for a moment trying to remember the occupations of the selected, “The dancer?” I asked. 

She grinned “Yeah. Hadley.” She raised an eyebrow, “And you?”

“Lawyer.” I said and stood from the table, walked over to Hadley and held her hand out, “Savannah Mars, Labrador, three.”

She shook my hand, “Nice to meet you.” then thought for a moment, “You said you were missing work? Do you work at a law firm?”

“Kinda. I work for the Illean Civil Liberties Union in their legal division. It's a non-profit which focuses on civil rights and for me civil legal cases. Lgbt+ rights defense, domestic defense, that sort of thing.”

“Oh, that’s really cool.” She said, seeming actually interested in my work. “Are you missing the casework, or something else?”

“It's pretty hard for me to step back from my work. Since I'm kind of left worrying about my clients. A new guy took over my cases but I'm trying to still work in my own way by studying up on some legal sections I work in less frequently but still may come up. Such as contract law.” I explained not fully hearing her other question. 

She nodded, “I understand, sort of. I’m left worrying about how my ballet company is going to perform, with somebody else taking over the role in the Nutcracker that I’ve had the past few years.”

“Yeah the transition really is nerve wracking. Have you seen them perform though?” I asked hoping that could at least provide some solace. 

“I’ve seen pictures on Instagram, but no videos yet. We were just finishing up our performance of Cinderella when I left. Nutcracker rehearsal started a few days after, but it’s a show we do each year, so... “ She sighed “ It /should/ be fine.”

I nodded, “well if they assigned them the role try and have faith in their qualifications. That's what I'm keeping in mind for mine. They did go to law school so it's fine. They got the role so it’s fine.” I said partially for her and partially for me. 

She sighed a little hesitant, “Yeah, you’re probably right. Competition is just gonna be a bitch and a half when I’m sent back.” She chuckled wryly.  

“Well maybe you'll win and then you won't have too. Who’s gonna take a role away from the future queen of Illea.”

“That’s extremely unlikely to happen.” She then almost smirked “What about you? If you win, nobody’s going to tell you no in a courtroom.”

I laughed, “If I win I'll kill myself.” Then I realized how dark that sounded, though it didn’t seem to phase her.

“I hate to say that I feel the same way, but…” She shrugged and nodded, “I feel the same way” For a moment I was confused, why would she join if she felt the same way? Then it clicked, a dancer would be a five, lower class, need the money.

“You're a five right? Did you apply for the money? If you don't mind my asking that is. It would just make sense why you'd dislike to win.” 

“It…” She bit her lip, “Kind of? It’s a long story involving a deadbeat mom, a shitty health care system, two starving artists, and a kid with leukemia.” She said with an apologetic smile. Whatever she’d be apologizing for I can’t say. 

“Well shit man, I'm glad you got in then. Both for the money and for a break from that. I know this society fucking sucks and we've got a likely shit for brains hier, but if you ever need a lawyer I'm here to help. Hopefully, being a three now will provide some help for you too.” I said then caught myself making a mental note to not be so vulgar with my language. 

She gave me a small smile, “Thanks. Now I just have to figure out what I’m doing with the rest of my life, after throwing my career into dance, only to become a Three.” She laughed, “What about you? Why did you enter? It sounds like you had a pretty cushy gig going on.”

It wouldn’t be smart to tell the truth, but lying when Hadley had been so open felt wrong, I sighed and said, “My brother. Basically he forged my entry and I didn't want him to get into legal troubles for that. He's a fucking idiot.” I sighed and let that last cuss word slide as he is a fucking idiot. 

She snorted, “Men really do only have two brain cells.” She gave a small smile, “I’m sorry that you ended up in that situation, though. That’s rough.”

“Yeah. I tried to beat him up but my other brothers stopped me. It was really a mess. Had to find out from a waitress asking for a photo with me.” 

She shook her head, “My best friend told me that he was so upset to see me, “throwing my life away,” as if I hadn’t entered to help him and his brother.” Sounds like an ungrateful ass. She sighed and looked down at her fruit, “When did life get this messed up?”

A question with too big of an answer. A bit panicked and not knowing what to say I took a strawberry off my plate and held it out to her, “Fruit?” 

She chuckled and took the strawberry, “Thanks.” She takes a bit, chews, and then pauses, looking at Savannah, “You know what I could really go for right now, though? A good gin and tonic.”

“God that'd be great. You know what, let's make some. One glass can't hurt.”

She shrugged, “Sure, sounds fun. I’m down.” She looks around, “I know they keep the wine in that cabinet, but I haven’t found the liquor yet.”

After gathering our ingredients we get to work making the glasses, “so, what's your plan in all this?”

“In the selection?” She raises an eyebrow and then shrugs, she starts pouring things into the mixer bottle, “Stay here for as long as I can so I keep making stimulus checks, and then get sent home before I’m stuck spending the rest of my life here.” She finishes pouring and looks at Savannah, “You?”

I sighed, “about the same. Give the money to the non-profit I work for. I was hoping I could root for you to win, you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders to influence him, but the more I think about it the more I realize that's like damning to hell.

She snorts, “Well, I still appreciate the compliment, and I would’ve said the same about you.” Then she sighs, “I’ve always known that it’s been like this, though. He gets to squander every penny he has on luxury shit, whereas my paychecks…” another sigh, “But life isn’t fair.”

“Yeah. And then waste the money on useless shit and trying to pass dumb laws like making 'cats' illegal instead of actually fixing the problems in this country.” I said and poured myself a glass of the drink.

She poured some for herself and then shook her head with an eye roll, “Don’t even get me started on that debacle. Why even joke about things like that?”

“Because he doesn't comprehend how the people of his own country are suffering. He's just so blind with privilege. Not that I have much to speak on but at least I freaking try to think about others in the country and their situations.”

She gave me a small smile, “You didn’t seem like the type to blow your money on worthless things to me, at all. I don’t even know what I’m going to say to him when we have that interview in a few days.”

“Yeah I think im just gonna be polite for the sake of not causing a scene that'll haunt me my whole life” I said and took a sip, then clarified, “polite though, not kind.”

She nodded then drank too, “I really went from putting on one type of show for Twos to another.” 

“Any idea what you're gonna do as a three?” I asked.

She pursed her lips and shook her head, “I haven’t taken a science or maths class since I was eleven, and I don’t have the money for university. I guess I could work as a translator, or if that doesn’t work out, marry a five and go back to dancing.” She took another sip of her drink, “Hopefully I’ll be here long enough to figure it out.”

“Do they not have like threes who are dance teachers? I haven't really looked much into the area myself but it may make sense.”

She shook her head, “For me, at least, it was mostly Russian immigrants who were former dancers themselves, so Fives.”

I thought for a moment, “Well if you ever need history lessons, english, or legal aid I'm around. I dug into my pocket and pulled out a business card, since it’s not like either of us plan to be here long,  “Just all the way up in Labrador. Where are you from again?”

“Allens. So, not too far. Thanks.” She replied and looked at the card.

“Welcome.” I replied, finished off my drink then wrote down another idea. 

Hadley narrowed her eyes curiously, “What are you writing?”

“Just an idea for a proposition with the ICLU. There are probably other girls in a similar situation as you being lower caste now upper be it through marriage or selection, it may be helpful to talk about implementing a caste readjustment program.”

She lifted her head, smiling just a little, “That sounds like a great idea.” Then a little quieter she added,  “I'd appreciate it.” 

“Hopefully my boss will agree and pass it onto the innovation department. I'll write a quick memo about it to her later.” I smiled happy to have something to do.

“You really love your job, don't you?” She asked. 

I nodded, “It makes me feel like I have some kinda purpose. As cheesy as that is to say.” Making actual change in Illea instead of just prancing around doing whatever else I could have grown up to do. 

“No, I get that.” She looked down, “As a kid, I never really felt like I belonged, but on the stage, dancing?” She looked a little distant, “Standing out was a good thing.”

I nodded,  “Mhm. Have you thought of ways you could continue working while at the palace?”

She smiled, “Actually, I had a conversation with Prince Eaton about that, and I’ve been able to work out a schedule that allows me to still practice, even though I have to do a little more work to catch up on lessons.”

“That'll be good. If you wanted too you could put on a performance and donate the profits. That way you could be working towards a goal too instead of general practice.”

She tilted her head, “That's an interesting idea. I’ll keep that in mind.”

I nodded, “Well it was nice meeting you, Lady Hadley. But it is probably time for me to get back to work.” Then held out my hand to shake goodbye.

She took it, giving it a shake. “Nice to meet you too.”

It was pretty late in the afternoon by the time I was escorted to the interview room. Damian was in a navy blue suit jacket, dress pants, and a white button up shirt. He smiled at me as I got closer.  His eyes flicker to my nametag for a second before he speaks, “Hello, Lady Savannah. It’s a pleasure to meet you in person.”

I smiled trying to stay polite, then gave a small curtsy, “The same to you, your highness.”

He smiled back, taking a few steps back and gestured for me to go into the interview room. In the room is a sofa, surrounded by stage lights and a few cameras, what a romantic first meeting. There is one camera on a swivel stand, that is currently focused on Damian and I. He starts walking into the room, looking at me as he talks, "How have you found your first few days here, so far?"

I debated giving him a short one word answer of 'fine' but Danny's words of 'don't ruin your own happiness" slipped into my head. "They've been fine. I've enjoyed your library. It's helped me feel like I can in some ways continue working by catching up on legal matters normally outside of my areas of expertise."

He nodded while smiling then took a seat on the sofa, "So you're a lawyer, then? What kind of law do you practice?"

Reluctantly I sat next to him, hopefully I wouldn't catch an STD from proximity alone, "Yes, I practice primarily civil and criminal law with the Illean Civil Librities Union. So primarily defending people who are in bad situations due to outdated laws which need amending." My tone came out more passive aggressive than intended, but it was slightly justified as he should have been working to amend said laws and help people instead of partying.

"That's a great thing, to be doing. What got you into law?"

"Well I was at the University of Labrador. My best friend I'm the sorority I was in decided to go to a protest over women's rights in illea. We went, someone man came and antagonized some women, she defended herself verbally, got arrested, felt up by the officer, then was unable to do anything legally about it. I felt that was unfair so I decided to look into being a lawyer, liked the process, graduated in 2 years, went to Yale and here I am." 

He lets out a low whistle, looking down for a second. I couldn't help but be a but prideful at my accomplishment, then looks back up at me, more serious than before, his jaw tense, "I'm really sorry that happened to your friend." He said and fell silent. What a conversation killer. 

"It's fine." I said trying not to dwell on it, "How was your time in undergrad? Partied a lot, I saw." I said the passive agressiveness coming out again. 

He smiled, a little more relaxed than before, but not as relaxed as he was when he first entered the room, "I enjoyed my last few years of freedom before entering the real world, yes." He then raised his eyebrows, grinning a little wider, kind of teasing, "And what about you? Being in a sorority and all, I doubt you were much of a homebody yourself." 

I couldn't help but completely flush and bit down my urge to absolutely smack him upside the head. "It was a brief phase. It was fun. But also a waste of time." I chuckled a bit remembering my airheaded behavior in that year, "had I already been working harder I may have been able to finish faster and help more people."

He grinned a little at how flustered I was, which just made me want to punch him more, then smiled a little more genuinely towards the end, "We're still young. We have our whole lives to keep fixing things."

i frowned, "That isn't true. We never know when we're going to die. Something could always happen so we should be trying to help as much as we can. Not to mention while we" I paused after my slip of the tongue, but didn't correct it "partied in undergrad people were suffering who could have been helped."

There's a flicker of a frown on his face when I mentioned how short life is, but he lets it go, tilting his head when he looks at me, "We can't save everyone. That's impossible. We can try to do as much as we can, but there will always be more people in need of help.

"Partying isn't trying."

He raised his eyebrows, "You didn't even know you wanted to be a lawyer, back when you were partying in college."

I got kinda flustered again, he's right, there's no logically sound way to win. Yeah but I should have, I wish I had. Would have made the time a lot less regrettable." I said then cleared my throat, "Though, this is a bit of a heavy topic for our first meeting, don't you agree? Your- Damian." I barely corrected myself from saying Your Highness.

He chuckled, "A bit, but it's different from the surface level talk about work and provinces." He inclined his head, "Though, if you think about it, you never would have discovered your passion for law if you hadn't joined your sorority." He shrugged and gave a stupid grin which made me blush even more. 

Finally I snapped and turned to point a finger at him, "You won okay. I can't regret something if I didn't know to do something better, but that doesn't make topless jello shots any less of an embarrassing memory." I exclaimed then heard what I said and wished to curl into a ball and die. 

He chuckled a little, "We all have our moments. It's okay."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door then, and a guard pokes his head in. Damian nods at him, then turns and looks at me, "Unfortunately, we'll have to exchange stories another time. It appears our time today is up."

I sighed in relief at my rescue, then mumbled under my breath, "Thank God." I stood to curtsy, "Your-" I cringed a bit at the error, "Damian."

He chuckled again, "It was a pleasure to meet you Savannah. Until next time." He smiled at me when we got to the door, and stopped in the doorway.

I smiled back politely, "Thank you for the conversation. Till next time." 

*savy was taking a break from her work and decided to out for a walk in the gardens. She had always been a fan of taking runs when stressed snd the gardens were providing a peaceful alternative. She was walking around when she thought she saw a bunny in the bushes. Being the gal she is she wanted to see it closer so she stepped off the path and walked into the gravel. Immediately her heel sank in the gravel. She lost her balance for a moment but didnt fall. Instead she panicked. She debated stepping out of her shoes to get it out but she didnt wanna hurt her skin on the gravel. Instead she tried to wiggle it loose and hopped no one was near*

*rip savannah, but Damian is out distressing by playing basketball at that point in time, and from where he's standing as he shoots this basket, he can see someone clearly struggling with something in the gardens. he can't see who it is, or what the problem is, but he figures he should go check it out. he tucks the basketball under one arm, jogging towards the person he can see, calling out* Hey, everything okay?

*savannah hears him call out an knows immediately it's the last person in the world she'd want to find her like this* Absolutely peachy! *calls back and debates ditching the shoes*

*he slows to a stop when he gets closer, his eyes going from savannah's face to her foot* Mmm, looks like you've got yourself in a bit of a sticky situation, there.

*is extremely flustered* no situation at all. I said I'm fine. *aggressively wiggles the heel and almost trips so she squeaks but manages to catch herself*

*when he sees her almost trip, he lunges forwards to catch her before she hits the ground, but then she catches herself, so he's like "oh was that for nothing?" he looks down at the shoe, furrowing his brows, thinking* Here, let me help with that, before you actually fall.

I'm not going to fall and I don't need your help. I'm perfectly capable of defeating some gravel on my own

*he takes a step back* Alright... if you insist... *hes not going anywhere, just watching her, waiting to see what she'll do*

*huffs when she doesnt hear him walk away and continues to wiggle then huffs when shes not getting anywhere* Fine. If you're just going to stand there anyways you may as well help.

*he chuckles, setting the basketball down on the ground, kneeling down to look at the gravel and the heel, before beginning to dig the heel out with his fingers* Not the best shoes to walk off the path in.

*rolls her eyes* I didn't think about that. I thought I saw a bunny and got distracted

*he can't help but raise his eyebrows at that, grinning, twisting the heel a little to unscrew it from the gravel* Was it at least a cute bunny?

*his tone is a little teasing*

It was cute, be careful with your tone though when your face is near my foot. *once its free she steps back on the path so she doesn't sink again*

*he chuckles, joking* What, are you planning on giving me a royal nose job with your shoe?

You could probably use one. *offers a hand to help him stand back up*

*he picks up his basketball, taking her hand, still grinning at her, teasing* Maybe it's just the angle you've been looking at it from.

*stands on her tiptoes looking at his nose* Nope. It's a little off. Nose job it is.

*she pinches his nose* its a big flaw. Doubt you'll be able to get a wife like that

*he chuckles* I don’t know, my nose has never gotten in my way before

*considers* You're right, I'm sure that was just your sense of responsibility that got in the way.

*he raises his eyebrows* You know, I’ve never turned in an assignment late, or anything for work late. Never asked for an extension.

I somehow find that doubtful. Your reputation of being a loose partier precedds that of a responsible duitiful person.

Well, it’s the truth. *he shrugs* If you’re really curious, you could email my professors. It’s all about finding a balance. *he smiles*

*grumbles because he seems to be honest about it* What did you even study?

I dual majored in political science and marketing. You?

*sighs in relief* at least you werent a buisness major. Political Science and History for me on a prelaw track.

*he nods, smiling, genuinely curious* Did you prefer one over the other?

Probably political science. I mean I love history it's why I added it. For fun since it's just like learning stories and seeing the modern day impact of said stories. But political science felt more efficient. Like it helped me have a better understanding of the philosophy of political thinking which has helped me a lot in law. Plus I just liked the professors more.

*he smiles* Understandable. Good professors make it so much easier to learn the content

*smiles* yeah and lots and lots of highlighters. Did you have a favorite topic in political science?

*grinning* I took a really cool course on comparative political economies - I really like the economic side of things. That, and the classes I had to take on international politics. *he looks over at savannah* What about you?

Probably civil politics. I've always been a fan of civil work. I honestly thought about working for the AFEI instead of the ICLU but decided I wanted to do more personal legal work than policy legal work. But it's always been the work that has interested me more since it's important to bring up civil conflicts within the country and try to help as much as possible. But learning about where we came from in terms of The United States vs the civil policies of Illea was an interesting course for me, especially because of the overlap of History and Political Science.

*he nods as she talks, thinking that all over* I think work guided what classes I liked as well. Because beyond national politics, I also have to think about international politics, trade agreements, and maintaining Illéa’s position in the world.

*seems slightly surprised* so you actually liked your major? I assumed you just were kinda forced to pick it

I was kind of forced to, but I could still pick the classes that interested me more. *He shrugs* Plus I really enjoyed my marketing major.

*thinks for a moment* Can I ask you something and have an honest answer? No bullshit PR answer. I'm just trying to figure out if we can trust you to be our future king through this, at the very least.

Sure *he nods, pursing his lips a little* Ask away.

Do you actually want to be the king of this country? Like aside from the perks you have from it, do you care about the work?

I do care. *he pauses, swallowing* I really do. It’s just...it’s a lot of pressure to accept from a young age.

*she thinks for a moment* Noted. Thank you for your honesty. *Looks at the basketball* Do you play much?

*he smiles kind of sadly* Not as much as I used to. I’ve gotten a little busy helping to run the country, and such.

*gets an idea* Do you wanna make a bet with me?

*he grins* Depends on what it is

Basketball. I'm working on a program right now with the ICLU, a coworker wants to come visit me and discuss about it but appreantly work visits aren't allowed during this. If I can get more hoops in you'll arrange that?

*he furrows his brows* Better yet, I could just organize for your coworker to visit under the guise of another event going on. Just give me a few weeks to work out the details.

*kinda chuckles because shes competitive* oh? Youre scared you'll lose? But if that's what you prefer

*he laughs* No, I just know I’d win, and I’d hate to deny you the ability to see your coworker

Fine. You'll set up the meeting, then I'll just prove to you that I would win had their beem stakes.

*he narrows his eyes at her, extending a hand to shake, still grinning* Deal

*shakes it firmly then kicks off her heels planning to walk to the court barefoot.* Would be an unfair advantage for me to still be in them

*he raises his eyebrows* Why, they helped square up the height difference between us, at the very least *he chuckles*

*almost elbows him over that but barely stops herself* I don't need that help. I'm perfectly capable of crushing you independent of my shoes

*he laughs* I played basketball in uni, you know?

As did I. Well- not in a club. A guy who I was *ponders for a moment* acquainted with, played it therefore I played with him and his friends fairly often

*he raises his eyebrows* And how tall was your acquaintance? Because I’m used to playing with people my height, but also my mom and sister, who are - *he puts his hand somewhere around his shoulder because they’re 5’4” and 5’5”* - about this tall

He was around 6'3. His friends the same or more. Don't worry I'm well aware of the disadvantage of my height and very prepared to utilize it

*he chuckles* Oh, I’ve got to see this. *when they get to the court he starts dribbling the ball casually, walking towards the middle of the court* Do you want to start with the ball, or should I?

*thinks for a moment and puts her shoes down on the edge of the court and rolls up the bottoms of her dress pants a bit* You can start with it.

*he raises his eyebrows at her rolling up her dress pants, but he nods* Okay, if you insist. *he waits until he’s ready before starting the play*

*she walks up prepared to steal since she cant block*

*he starts dribbling more seriously, quickly maneuvering around her, taking three large steps with the ball, and then shoots a basket, and it goes in*

*she kinda huffs about that dislikes. But once he has the ball again she tries again, this time getting it and doing her UNDER THE LEGS MOVE AND SHOOTS*

*he turns around, a little in shock* That is not a legal move!

Hmmm *puts her finger to her chin very smug* I dont think it explicitly says in the rules that you're not allowed too. You use your height I'll use mine *VERY SMUG*

*he narrows his eyes* Fine, best 2 out of 3? Whoever gets this next shot wins, then

*SHES BEING COCKY NOW* Aw is the wittle princey calling it quits so soon? His fragile ego damaged? *bats her eyes teasingly*

*he narrows his eyes* Fine, best three out of five, then. *he starts dribbling the ball right from here he is, and it’s a long shot to his basket from there, but he’s pretty confident, so he goes for it, and somehow it actually goes in. he raises his eyebrows at her* Still think you’re gonna win?

*crosses her arms* That was luck. *goes to get the ball since shes closer*

Or just sheer skill. *he smirks a little*

*turns to face him just to roll her eyes and gets the ball. She then dribbles it back to the middle or something idk how basketball works*

*he follows her to the middle, standing in front of her, knees bent in that “ready” position idk wtf it’s called lmao*

*that position makes knees wide so she dribbles and goes to do her fast under the leg move again*

*he sees it coming this time, and takes a few steps back, keeps his arm in front of him to reach for the ball, which he gets, and then dribbles across to the the hoop he has to score in, taking the shot, and watching it go in again. he grabs the ball as it bounces back up, raising his brows at savannah* One more, or are you good? *he grins a little*

*huffs again and crosses her arm* Fine we'll call it at 3 to 1. But in my defense it's been awhile.

*he grins* Well, you’re always welcome to practice out here with me, if you want.

I can't tell if you're being taunting or not *rolls her eyes and walks up to him then holds out her hand to shake for the end of the game*

*he takes her hand and shakes, then gives her a genuine smile* No taunting. I mean it. I’d love to have someone new to play with.

I'll consider it then. I am getting slightly bored of your homes running path for exercise.

*smiles back even tho she doesnt wanna because it was a nice offer*

*he tilts his head from side to side* Yeah, the running trail through the gardens is kind of short. There are better ones /in/ Angeles, if you ever want to check them out

Not sure I'm allowed to just waltz on out of here, but I'd love the names of any you know. My grandmother lives near her so I'm sure I'll be visiting soon enough after this if not immediately so.

*he shrugs* I could also drive you sometime, if you want. I /do/ have a car.

*seems a bit surprised* You know how to drive?

*he furrows his brows* Of course! I got my license as soon as I was legally allowed to.

But its not like you need too? Don't you have like drivers?

*he looks a little confused and taken aback* I’m sure some exist, but why would I want someone else to drive me when I could be free and drive myself?

I'm not sure. I just know rich people, like for example my cousin *mumbles for a moment to find the phrasing* So my grandmother is in charge of the Mars Candy Corporation. My mom's older brother Nathaniel will be taking over it, his kids also my cousins all have drivers. They're like twenty something now but Jackson is always bragging about how he doesn't have to take the effort to drive himself places. I just assumed other people who could afford them would have them, especially busy people who could work instead of drive.

*he blinks* Wow, I never even would have considered that. *he shakes his head* No, I like driving. Being able to roll the windows down and blast the music...it’s like a few moments of freedom. *he shrugs, smiling a little sadly*

*she noticed the smile then something clicks* so freedom is your vice. You act out to feel free, thus the partying. You mentioned earlier the responsibility of being a prince being am influence on the partying. A lack of freedom makes sense. *she knows shes getting too personal but her curiosity and worry for the future gets the best of her* But what does that mean you're going to do when you're king? You'll have even less. How do you plan to maintain that restriction without bursting and needing freedom?

*he stiffens a little at her analysis because damn it’s spot on, but sighs towards the end* Getting as much out of life as I can now. I always knew what my future held for me. So I can plan accordingly. *he forces a small grin, trying to joke* Besides, with any luck, I’ll be old and almost out of energy by the time I’m king.

*furrows her eyebrows concerned* That doesn't work. *sighs* Believe me I'd know. But we aren't wired to run off memories. Instead we develop habits and coping mechanisms. Everyone snaps from time to time, you'll go back to what made you happy last. For you I assume that'll be partying. Which is something you can't do as king, and assuming it wont be till your old isn't right either, regardless of if that was a joke it's not something that you can lean on since millions of people could be relying on you and you'd be unprepared. You are going to be king, You are not going to have freedom, you are going to be under immense pressure and responsibility, honest answer, what are you going to do when you need to snap?

*he narrows his eyes at her, this time more out of irritation than anything else, and he’s a little sarcastic* Gee, thanks for the reminder. Though, for the record, I /haven’t/ partied since uni, and I have no plans to in the near future. So perhaps I’ll rely on my other coping mechanism, such as basketball, or taking a drive.

Yeah well it's the truth and uni wasn't that long ago. It's hard to break habits. I mean I partied like 4 times a month in undergrad and I still use it. That was forever ago but that's not how humans work. You're gonna lean on what you've leaned on. You're going to get shitfaced, you're going to want what you used to have, you're gonna idolize those times in uni and want them back. But you're not going to have it and it's going to be hard and shitty but you have to tough it out because of the country that relies on you and this is proving to me that you're not going to be a reliable King for the people who need you.  

[creepypocky]

Hiiii! May I have a match-up please? One who is my lover and a best friend one? Thank you!

My sun sign is pisces. My moon is Sagittarius. And my rising is virgo!

I'm a intj my personality is mostly independent, blunt, bold, and chaotic

Im somewhat shy at times definitely when im in love with someone but im also not experienced being in love like tbh its awkward for me but I try to shove it away. Im really kind and a passionate with certain things, im really psychic and it really scares me tbh but I can handle it.

My sense of style is kinda walk it changes every so often bc of my mood but my main style is vamp or romantic goth! I wear rings, jewelry, and some makeup to go with it!

My most favorite animals are bunnies, frogs, lizards, raccoons!! Maybe sharks too? Idk they seem cute & cool to me

My sexuality is so confusing rn but im gonna put myself as biromantic asexual!

Im very picky with my partners of course they don't have to be perfect but im only picky with the way their attitude and actions are! Im a classy type of gal to be respected and not treated like a toy.

I suffer from c-ptsd, major depression, ged anxiety, ocd, anemia and dissociation. I also have allergy asthma ;-; its sucks man but ill fine <33

My hobbies are playing video games, listening to music outside, doing art when I have motivation.

For date ideals are going to the arcade, going outside and looking at the stars, spending time together, watching movies, and going out to party!

Also thank you very much when you get the time to do this I really appreciate the time and effort you put into yout writing! <33

Alright, just woke up and I'm gonna work on this ASAP since I put it off last night, I don't want to be too tired to give you a good post!

Before I get into the matchup, just wanted to say I'm terribly sorry you're going through those health issues both mental and physical. I whole heartedly hope you recover from them soon! Take care of yourself honey!

~~~

|| I match you with: Hoodie! ||

Hoodie is also pretty independent and blunt, he’s a very quiet guy obviously but it’s not because he’s shy it’s mostly because he doesn’t like people. Regardless though, he doesn’t take disrespect from people and he will be blunt with them.

He loves how bold you are, it attracts him a lot along with your independence. I feel like you two are really compatible since he’s just naturally attracted to you without even noticing at times.

When you two get into a relationship, he also shares that kind of shy feeling since he’s in no way whatsoever experienced when it comes to love. But he’ll definitely try his best to make sure you’re always comfortable and will be as slow and chill with you as you need him to be. Remember, this should be a mutual thing.

You a psychic? He’s interested. Tell him all of your predictions hon he’ll spend hours just listening to you go on and on.

He’s honestly pretty indifferent about styles but he thinks yours is cool, he loves seeing you dress up into goth outfits and see how they compliment your form.

Hoodie really loves nature so he also loves going deep into the woods, which means he gets to see all kinds of animals. He’s more than willing to bring you with him to see all the animals you like and see if you two can even get one. He’s... not so sure about sharks. He thinks they’re cool, though.

Don’t even worry, this man always respects you, until you do something shitty to him, that is. But, you’re his and he wants to show you he appreciates you. If anyone ever treats you with disrespect he’s always there to back you up.

This is very important; he is there for you when you’re suffering from those mental illnesses, whether it be to give you advice, calm you down, or just simply listen to you rant to him. He wants you to understand you’re not alone in any way and will always slowly help you get back on your feet. If you’re suffering from an asthma attack, there he’ll be watching over you and helping. Just please make sure to show that contribution back bc pls he’s going through stuff aswell this man is super pent up.

He’s not much of a video game guy but he’ll watch you play, maybe even play with you if you teach him how. Teaching him is kind of funny though tbh because he acts like an old man and doesn’t even understand what the game is even if he watches you play it for hours, lmfaooo.

He does love listening to music though, he likes to listen to music with shared earbuds as you walk in the woods together hand-in-hand. Pls let him watch you do art and show him, he loves watching you work. He finds it super interesting especially since it’s you doing the art. I also canon that he’s trying to learn how to do art and get better at it.

He will 100000000x look at the stars with you babe, you two constantly go out at night and cuddle under a tree just to look at the stars in silence. It’s one of his most favorite things to do with you.

He’s honestly not the best at going into public to do arcades or parties, but he’s willing to try and go out of his comfort zone for you if you ever want to go to them. Pls he just wants to see that smile on your face and have fun with you.

Best friend:

||I match you with: Clockwork! ||

This woman is also blunt and bold, so the two of you make a pretty good pair. She’s very caring once you get to know her and tbh she’s a bit of a mom friend towards you. She’s always checking up on you and making sure you’re doing okay and if you’re not, trust me she gonna coddle you till you feel better.

I canon that she has a bunny so when you two hang she brings him with her and lets you play with him and it’s super wholesome like fjhgjkg. She’ll probably kidnap some frogs for you too so the both of you can mess with them together.

Honey, as long as you respect her she will respect you back. In fact you’re one of the people she respects the most in her life because she loves how strong and kind you are as a person!

If you’re suffering because of your mental illnesses, she’s your go to for advice and/or emotional support. She loves you platonically too much to just let you suffer alone so she’s always by your side and helps you get back up on your feet.

She doesn’t know many games but she’ll play Minecraft and Mario Kart with you from time to time. Honestly sometimes she’ll just call Ben into the room to play some games with you instead of her because she’ll feel like she’s boring to play games with unless you reassure her.

She loves doing art though and seeing your works, she loves to paint and share art ideas with you. She’ll be your main person who gives you motivation to keep doing art and will give you constructive criticism on how to improve.

All in all, she’s a bit blunt and rude at first but is actually extremely caring for you and she’s like one of the most wholesome people to be besties with.

~~~

I hope you enjoyed this matchup hon, as I said earlier, take good care of yourself please. I hope you have an amazing day/night.

Also, thank you so much. <3 I try to put as much effort as I can into my writing even when it’s not the best.

[bnheadcanons-scenarios]

Sooo... I'm sorry to ask this, I know you are so busy, and don't need to do If you can't, okay?! You're too much important! But, well... I can request a SoulMate!AU Bakushima...? Like, with the string-things, or that of the birthmark, you know? I really love your scenarios, really! I hope you get well,

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

I LIVE FOR SOULMATE AUS!!!!

I’ll write for you as long as I can! I can’t guarantee I’ll be fast about it but I’ll do my best!!

Also I wrote one here a while ago;) and I’ve had a wip of another one saved for like forever so I decided to finish

–

They say that you just know that they’re your soulmate when you see the tattoo.

Many people who don’t believe in soulmates or who are too afraid to find theirs or for some other reason covered up their tattoo at all times to prevent ever finding their other half. However, a majority of the population kept theirs uncovered.

Kirishima never hid his soulmark. Why would he? He was extremely proud to have a soulmate and wanted to show them off to the world. You know, if he ever found them. And he desperately wanted to find them, which was half of the reason for designing a topless hero costume. That way, he could proudly show the world the tattoo that he was given at birth.

He touched the grenade that rested over his ribs, fingers tracing over the explosion that was the backdrop, smiling softly as he thought of his soulmate. What kind of person was his soulmate for him to have such a design on his body? Mina once told him that they must have an explosive personality, to which he just laughed and rolled his eyes.

His hand lingered on the ink for a second longer before he put his uniform shirt on, buttoning it up and straightening out the wrinkles. He tied his tie and put his jacket on before looking at himself in the mirror. With a final glance, he smiled at his reflection before grabbing his bag, running down the stairs and out the door, excitedly bidding farewell to his parents.

The walk itself was uneventful but Kirishima’s mood was sky high. After all, he was about to start his first day in the UA hero course. Who wouldn’t be excited about that?

The closer he got to campus, the more excited he became. As he approached the gate, he heard a loud, excited shrill followed by footsteps rapidly approaching him. He turned just in time to see Mina run at him before she launched herself into his arms. Kirishima caught her, arms wrapping around her waist as hers wrapped around his neck, spinning her around. After a few seconds of excited screaming, earning them some strange looks from the other students, Kirishima set her down. They continued to talk as they walked to class together.

“Ah! I’m so glad we’re in the same class Kiri! Oh! Do you think our soulmates are gonna be there too? How awesome would that be if they were! Our soulmates could be potential pro heroes too!”

“Man that would be pretty cool!” His hand reflexively went to his ribs as he saw Mina bring her wrist up to look at her own soulmark that she’s had since birth. Thoughts of their soulmates disappeared when they entered their classroom, excitement returning full force as the day started.

–

The first half of classes went by pretty uneventful, though there were some interesting people around. The main one that stood out to Kirishima was the angry blonde kid in the back of the class. He was loud, vulgar, and just plain rude in general but for some reason, Kirishima thought it was funny and kind of adorable. What shocked him, though, was that he seemed to quiet down as soon as lectures started and actively paid attention to class.

At some point, he found out that the loud, angry, attractive guy was none other than Bakugou Katsuki, the top student in class. Immediately, Kirishima was even more impressed, and also confused as to when he started to mentally call Bakugou “attractive”.

Lunch came and he immediately found Mina, who had introduced him to two other people in their class, Sero and Kaminari, who he just clicked with. He talked to them as they walked to the lunchroom and decided to sit together. While they were eating, however, Kirishima started to zone out and apparently started staring at Bakugou, who was sitting at the other end of the table. He snapped out of it when he saw red eyes stare back at him. Kirishima smiled and waved over at him but only received a scowl in return before the blonde turned away from him, the tips of his ears dusted pink.

“Dude, don’t even try. That guy doesn’t seem like he’d get along with anyone,” Kaminari told Kirishima, the other two agreeing with him.

“Hm, doesn’t hurt to try though. Plus the dude is top in the class so he must be pretty good at everything.”

“Yeah, except being nice to people.” Kirishima just shrugged and changed the topic, asking Kaminari and Sero about their pasts.

–

After lunch came training and, unfortunately, they couldn’t wear their hero costumes yet. Instead, they had to wear their gym uniforms. As Kirishima was changing, he felt someone lift his arm up and touch his soulmark.

“Bro! That’s such a cool mark!” Kaminari proclaimed, pulling Sero over to look at it too. He just scratched the back of his neck sheepishly as they looked at the details of his tattoo.

“You know, they say the more detailed the mark, the stronger bond you have with your soulmate and, damn Kiri, your mark is pretty detailed.”

“You’re right, Kami, his even has shading!” Sero pointed out.

“I wonder what the grenade means though.”

Before Kirishima could open his mouth to say something, he heard a locker slam and Bakugou to storm out of the locker room, scowling. The three exchanged looks before shrugging and finished getting dressed to start their training.

–

Throughout the quirk assessment, Kirishima couldn’t help but watch his classmate, all of whom were extremely strong. However, his mind kept wandering to Bakugou and how he was especially talented and seemed to have complete control over his quirk. It also seemed eerily familiar, which was a weird thought to have but just shrugged it off to him just being even more impressed with how cool and manly the other is.

He made it a point to catch up to Bakugou on their way to the locker room, trying to be friendly.

“Your quirk is so cool dude! It’s super strong and flashy! I bet you’ll get plenty of offers after graduation with a quirk that useful!”

“I know. Now get the fuck away, Shitty Hair.” Bakugou opened his locker door in Kirishima’s face, scowling at the other before turning to lift his shirt over his head. As Kirishima was about to walk away, he caught a glimpse of something red on the other’s side. Curiosity got the better of him as he paused and looked at the color longer.

What he saw was a tattoo of a red, sleeping dragon settled on his ribs, scales and other features drawn in incredible detail, the shading expertly done. Kirishima felt as if his breath was knocked out of his lungs, barely able to stop his hand from reaching out to touch the ink. He felt a strong pull towards the tattoo. Kirishima snapped out of his trance when Bakugou’s arm lowered to his side, covering up the mark.

“What the fuck are you staring at? Are you a fucking perv on top of being an obnoxious asshole?”

Kirishima couldn’t speak, instead slowly lifting up the left side of his shirt, revealing his own mark. Bakugou’s gaze went down before he two froze, just staring at the mark, eyes blown wide in shock. Eventually, he looked back up, face expressionless. Kirishima managed a shaky smile while the other scowled again.

“Well, shit.”

–

A year later and Kirishima was nuzzled into Bakugou’s side, both shirtless. Kirishima was tracing the dragon on his side, following the curves with his fingertips.

“You know, Mina was right.”

“Hm?”

“She said that my soulmate had an explosive personality since their mark was a grenade.” He looked up and chuckled. “I say that describes you pretty well.”

Bakugou went silent for a moment, his arm pausing from where it was rubbing circles on Kirishima’s bicep. “My mom used to tell me that dragons symbolized protection and support and strength.” He looked down at the redhead. “I’d say that’s pretty accurate too.”

[zmediaoutlet]

You've mentioned it in a few tags, but if you have the chance/inclination, I would love to hear more of your thoughts about the final scene of 13x03 -- as someone who was, er, less than pleased with the ep, I'm trying to get a more positive angle on it, and I love your insights (and agree with them more often than not) so...help? ^^;

I don’t know what insights I have, but I can talk about my thoughts. This ended up being super long, so the thoughts are under the cut:

First of all, I think all analysis should start with a very close reading of the text. Let’s look at the dialogue in the episode in two key scenes.

First, a snippet from the third scene. We start off fine—Samtired, Dean neutral. (He’s clearly also tired, but he comes in more surprisedabout the Missouri thing than angry, depressed, etc.) Then, Sam says that he’ssending Jody to take care of Missouri’s case, so that they can stay to workwith Jack.

SAM: We need to help Jack learn how to control his powers.Jody can handle this.DEAN: Yeah, maybe she can. Or, maybe she ends up dead because you wanted to skipout on her to babysit the Antichrist.

As soon as Jack is mentioned, Dean immediately moves to anger. It’s quiet, but obviously accusatory,and obviously that’s aimed at Sam. He’s upset that Sam is putting Jack abovetheir friends. Sam responds with confusion, for a second—he’s staring at Dean,wrinkled forehead (so much forehead), wide eyes and parted mouth of shock. Theystare at each other, with Dean clearly fishing for a response. Then,

SAM: Dean, we need him.DEAN: No, don’t.SAM: Mom—DEAN: Don’t. You— If you want to stay here and Mr. Miyagi this kid, knockyourself out. I didn’t sign up for that, so I’m gonna go to work.

So, Dean leaves. Sam sighs, and groans, but he’s not angry.Dean wasn’t even particularly angry in that last line, but he reacted sharplyto we need him, and doesn’t even wantto hear Sam’s theory. Note how quickly he interrupts on Mom.

Okay, now we can skip over a lot of the boring Patiencebusiness (though, it is interesting that Dean tells a smiling Jody [?? What wasthat, as a directing choice?] that he’s fine, and then is CLEARLY NOT FINE ATALL). We come back to the bunker with Dean having seen yet another of theirfriends (or good acquaintances, at least) die, in a world which he is nowtelling people is crapsack and shitty. Now:

We enter the penultimate scene on Sam’s clearly upset face. He looks like a wife who’s been sitting in thedim kitchen waiting for her deadbeat husband to get home from the bar so shecan scold him. He won’t even turn around to face Dean when he greets him—thoughhe does greet him, asking about the case and acknowledging Missouri’s death.Dean is grim, and even more obviously exhausted than he was at the beginning.He immediately starts with a mean-spirited joke, and we watch Sam’s face whilehe says it:

DEAN: How’s the kid? He go dark side yet?

Sam squeezes his eyes closed in suppressed anger.

SAM: Nope.

He finally turns around, ready to confront Dean. He’sfidgeting with one of the target-markers on the war table, which is relativelyunusual body language for Sam. He also has an interesting slouch, and openposture. He’s not shamefaced, or apologetic—he’s ready to fight.

SAM: He is pretty messed up, though.

Dean responds neutrally. This isn’t a fight, he doesn’tthink, just a statement of fact.

DEAN: You’re telling me.

Sam looks down, and then responds in a tone which is—less antagonisticthan his posture had been, and after he speaks he meets Dean’s eyes directly.His expression isn’t angry, but rather… disappointed.

SAM: No, Dean, he’s messed up because of you.

When Dean looks back, and looks genuinely confused by this,Sam smiles (humorlessly) and his mood shifts closer to anger again. How couldDean not get it, he seems to be thinking, and he slaps the target-marker downon the war table in another slightly aggressive posture.

SAM: Dean… You said you’d kill him.

Dean looks away, understanding where Sam’s upset is comingfrom (perhaps) now. It’s not quite an eye-roll, but that wasn’t quite how thatmoment between him and Jack went. We can guess now that Dean didn’t tell Samthat Jack was stabbing himself and trying to die, because Sam would have askedhow that conversation went. (Of course, it’s possible that Dean did barereporting, but the tone of this next line implies that the conversation betweenDean and Sam about this moment didn’t happen.)

DEAN: It wasn’t exactly like that.

There’s a slight emphasis Dean puts on that, and he’s not angry yet either. He looks back to Sam, andmaybe he was going to explain more, but Sam jumps in with:

SAM: Then how exactly was it?

A line which, while ostensibly calm in tone, is said a) as abit of an interruption, and b) Sam’s sighing through it and giving Dean a look, putting himself on Jack’s siderather than Dean’s. Dean is having a rough… week, let’s put it that way, and hedoesn’t respond well to this. We see immediately that Dean is thinking aboutthat moment from earlier, and he hasn’t had the benefit (unlike the audience)of seeing the patient, slow way Sam is working with Jack, and learning abouthis feelings and personality.

DEAN: I told him the truth. See, you think you can use thisfreak, but I know how this ends, and it ends bad.

The camera here cuts to Jack, listening in, and we’reclearly immediately meant to feel bad for the poor sweetheart. (By the way,thank god they’ve complicated him with a touch of brattiness—if it were allsyrup all the time he’d be unbearable.) That being said—Dean has a long, long history of being right about this stuff, and as theaudience we know that, too. But then—we cut to a different locus of the argument.Sam moves from talking specifically about usinga supernatural power to bring a loved one back to life (something we’veseen them do multiple times and which they tend to agree is a bad idea… exceptwhere their brother is concerned), and changes the conversation to be about this:

SAM: I didn’t.DEAN: What?SAM: I didn’t end bad. When I was the “freak.” When I was drinking demon blood.

Sam says it aggressively, strongly, sharply. Puts obviouspauses between the phrases. Dean immediately discards this, and he’s doing ittruly—it’s not him making a point, he really honestly does not believe thatthese situations are remotely similar.

DEAN: Come on, man, that’s totally different.

Sam is keeping the argument here, though; he’s drawing avery close parallel between himself and Jack.

SAM: Was it? Because you could’ve put a bullet in me. Dad told you to put a bullet in me, but youdidn’t. You saved me. So help me savehim.

We see Dean rejecting this line of argument even as Sam’shalfway through it, though. He doesn’t like this parallel at all and disagreeswith it. Superficially, of course it’s true, but Dean doesn’t buy it, andclearly doesn’t like the implications.

DEAN: You deservedto be saved. He doesn’t.

We cut here to Jack again, looking sad, while Sam insists—

SAM: Yes, he does, Dean, of course he does.

But then we cut back to Dean, and the camerawork here isinteresting. Finally, Dean is making this into a real argument, moving close. Sam is gigantic in the foregroundhere, and Dean is small and looking up and bleeding hurt, and he’s absolutelyrejecting Sam’s parallel-drawing. He remembers where the argument started, andhe’s still having none of it:

DEAN: Look, I know you think that you can use him as somesort of an interdimensional can opener, and that’s fine.

Note: it’s clearly not fine. Sam doesn’t like theaccusation, either, though he did start the day with ‘use’ rather than ‘hugsand kisses’. Anyway—

DEAN: But don’t act like you care about him, because you onlycare about what he can do for you. So, if you want to pretend, that’s fine, butme? I can hardly look at the kid, ‘cause when I do, all I see is everybody we’velost.

Now Dean is raising his voice, reacting from strong hurt.This is still the core of the problem. It’s not hating Jack-as-a-person, it’shating Jack as a function. A subtledifference, but key, I think. Sam responds to the accusation of Jack as responsiblefor the various losses—

SAM: Mom chose totake that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack.

Dean doesn’t disagree, but moves directly to the issue ofactual (possible) culpability, as far as he understands it.

DEAN: And what about Cas? SAM: What about Cas?DEAN: He manipulated him. He made him promises. Said, “paradise on earth,” andCas bought it. And you know what that got him? It got him dead!

Dean’s voice is raised again and there’s a shiver of emotionrunning through it; when we cut to Sam’s coverage (and again, the camera is lowbehind Dean’s shoulder and Sam is massivelooming over him), Sam is grimacing and looking down, not exactly pushing backagainst Dean’s feelings or his point.

DEAN: Now, you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!

And then we cut, quickly,between Dean’s wide-open pain, and Sam’s more shuttered expression. Then there’squiet, and we cut to Jack, who seems to be having real feelings about Castielper Kelly’s cheerful inculcation, earlier, and we cut there to the final scene.

…So. A lot is going on, there.You know that, for me, the Sam & Dean relationship is the actual main plotof the show. A lot of crap happens that they have to react against, but italways comes down to these two, for me. As we’ve also discussed, the latterseasons have this general shape: seasons six, seven, and eight are aboutfiguring out where they stand with each other, post-Apocalypse, whichculminates in the ‘marriage’ scene in Sacrifice (even platonically, that was areal promise of devotion); seasons nine and ten are about working through theconsequences of betrayal, and working out how devoted they truly are to this ‘marriage’;seasons eleven and twelve were about the close, mature, real work of making the‘marriage’ function. In seasons eleven and twelve they were honest with eachother, worked through their problems by talking; when there was a secret, theyapologized quickly and forgave quicker, and they had each other’s backs throughthick and thin. It’s remarkable, the level of maturity they’ve reached.

Season thirteen has opened on avery dark time for the Winchester boys, and they’re starting from verydifferent places in dealing with it. Dean is heartbroken; Sam has hope. Sam’shope is pinned to Jack’s power. He wasn’t positive that Castiel was ultimatelydead, as we saw with him questioning Dean twice about that in 13.01; he hasalso mentioned repeatedly that he doesn’t think their mother is dead, thatLucifer might have kept her alive for some reason. (Which he’s right about—really,if anyone knows what Lucifer might do, it’s Sam Winchester.) Dean, in contrast,refuses to believe that Mary is alive and he’s certain that there’s no comingback for Cas. He has clung to that defeat almost as a comfort, a way to keepwalking—getting his hopes up, just to have them dashed, would be even morepainful. He gave up, and we saw it, the second God didn’t answer his prayer.

Sam and Dean disagree a lot, butit’s rare that we get to see a profound disagreement like this which isn’tlocated in a personal place. We sawreal anger between them in season four and season nine. We saw personalbetrayal, dismissal—we’ve even seen them try not to be family, though of coursethat never lasts long. (Might be impossible, considering the soulmate aspect.)This disagreement about Jack is bad, and that was a real fight they had, thereat the end. But the disagreement is still located on Jack, and I think that’s a very important distinction. Sam ismad at Dean for causing Jack pain, but he clearly understands why it’shappening and where it’s coming from. Dean is mad at Sam for trying to keep(what he thinks is) false hope alive and trying to use the supernatural forces,when that always ends bad. But thisisn’t fury. This isn’t personal betrayal. Dean lashed out in a cruel way withthe ‘oh, I guess you just forgot about Cas’ line, but that’s… frankly, veryDean. He lashes out when he’s upset. Sam knows that, and he doesn’t lash back,he’s just… frustrated. A punch isn’t going to be thrown, here.

Put it a different way. In aphysicalized incest world, where they might share a bedroom in the bunker? Noone would be getting any tonight, and there probably wouldn’t even be cuddles.(The horror.) But after this argument, I can still see them going to bedtogether. Sam’s shoulders might be held high and tight, and Dean might have tohave a few beers after his shower before he slips quietly into bed, but they’restill on the same team. They still love each other, and there’s no doubt aboutthat. They’re just mad. They’ll get better. This argument doesn’t make me doubtthat’s true, for a second, and the Winchesters don’t doubt it either—not in theAU where their love is more obvious, and not canonically.

There is an argument to be madethat Dean is coming off poorly, here, specifically because they keep focusingon the woobified aspects of Jack. “Jack is such a sweetie, and Dean is just abig meanie-head.” I can see why people are thinking that. However, I don’tthink it’s true. This episode particularly, with Jack acting a tiny bit bratty,we’re starting to get a more complex view of him. A lot of the work with Jackin the episode focused on choice. Kelly’s little video insists that Jack can bewhatever he chooses to be; that’s contrasted against Sam’s insistence to Jackthat he can be both powerful and good, and Dean’s insistence that the situationwill go wrong and that Jack was always going to be evil. That duality was a strongtheme throughout. Jack threw a tiny bratty tantrum; Jack was surpassingly sweetwhen Sam offered him a helping hand. He doesn’t know what side he’ll fall on,and neither do we, and neither do the Winchesters. They have their opinions,and the fans are developing their own, but it is being left ambiguous which wayit will go—and I love that. The turn comes when Jack thinks about Cas, who maytheoretically be a neutral party—and then the episode’s focus immediately flipsto Cas waking up in the Empty, upon Jack literallyonly vocalizing his name. What kind of fucking power is that, holy cow.

Anyway. Dean’s anger and hurtare real, and we’re shown repeatedly how deeply it’s felt. Is it pretty? No. Isit heroic? No. But it feels real, and it’s why this show is worth watching. Meanwhile,Sam is truly, really trying to help Jack… and he’s also not pretending like hedoesn’t want to use him, which is so deeply in character for Sam that it makesme want to do a little dance. These complexities are why I still come back, andI’m so glad we’re getting them. It’s looking right now like 13.04 will continuethis argument, and this complexity, and I can’t wait. I love that I can loveDean Winchester, and see every tiny bit of where he’s coming from, and stillthink he’s wrong, and still be interested in how the story is unfolding. In alot of ways, this is reminding me of mid-season nine—when we knew that Dean haddone wrong, and we knew exactly whyhe had. I was completely neutral, there, and I’m neutral now. I just want tosee how the story unfolds.

[ferrerochocobo]

Okay so MOST of the time- I don't post my personal life on here, but I think for just once- this is one of those times I need to address something.

An asshat of a coworker.

For context- yes, we both have Aspergers. I work at a company that employs people with disabilities. But that DOES not mean I get along with my fellow Aspergers people all the time. Especially if they have no desire to be courteous- knowing they're hurting the feelings of others.

With that, here's another segment of what crap my coworker did tonight. Also, I work on a military base. So if I'm redacting- it's for good reason.

So tonight, it started with us getting into the van after the [redacted]. You know- where the [redacted] and [redacted] are. Now, I'm gonna scribble a diagram of the van. So you can understand the seating here.

Okay, that's super shitty BUT the two at the top are the front seats, behind is this long seat, behind that is a long seat with an individual seat beside it. Next to two doors. And behind that, the same deal.

So- we get on the van and he sits in the seat behind the passengers.

I crawl on in with my book bag and sit on the third seat- by the window.

I can hear him sigh and he's like, 'Can you shut the door getting in from now on?'

I tell him that if I was closer, I would. But also have a bag on my back. But if we traded seats, it would be easier. Obviously pissed at my solution, the guy says nothing. We go to the youth center then the other one with the gym. And this dude. Like....christ.

Not only does he like to do this thing where he only opens one side of the interlocking doors when we get to [redacted]- which effectively has me clattering like a turtle around in the van- But when I go to unlock the center's doors- he tries to constantly step in front before I can get in and put my bag down.

So I go to return the keys and ask [Team Lead] what she wants me to do- and per usual- [redacted] comes up and inturupts me in the middle of my conversation.

I've swallowed his inturupting constantly. Chalking it up to Aspergers. Giving him the benefit of the doubt. But holy christ if I was done with this inconsiderate shit. And [Team Lead] saw me. She knows. I turn to him with whatever hes saying and go- 'I was talking. Stop inturupting me.'

In a tone that can only be thrown in with the sound of spiteful pride at getting snapped off at, he says his 'Sorry...!' And that tears it. This man is an adult and he's acting like this. He owns a house. A car. And lives on his own and pays bills. And is acting like this to me.

I don't even let him finish his excuse.

'You always inturupt me in conversation! Learn to respect others!' He goes off in his huff and I turn back to [Team Lead]. She smiles half-heartedly because she can see my frustration. Tells me to breathe. I successfully get my calm back. In between my fear of yelling at others and my own frustration- it's usually why I have panics.

So we talk a bit and I'm like, 'I had to. He always inturupts and I told you I was gonna.'

She grins and she's like, 'I know. He does it to me all the time and it's rude!'

So with that, I go and clean. And the entire time- he's in his usual silent grump, foul mood. The kind that comes from being busted. We finish up and go back to the warehouse. (For context here of what's coming: Sometimes he drives me home.)

So we get back and I'm putting stuff away- I'm on one side of the warehouse and he's on the other.

Some of the coworkers are still around, too. Including [redacted]. A really nice Taurean coworker.

Out of nowhere, in this really smug voice in front of others, jerky guy goes-

Him: 'Hey [redacted].'

Me: 'Oh. Yeah?'

Him: 'Deals' off.'

I arch my brow a bit. Because I know he's trying to stab my pride. He's trying to make me feel helpless.

Me: 'Cool. Cheaper anyways. You need to stop being disrespectful to me.'

Him: 'What?'

And I'm hella sure he heard me. He wants me to shut down. But his 5'10-5'11 is nothing to the 5'7 I have, or the confidence I have with the few around- including my team lead.

Me: 'You always inturupt me. It's rude and disrespectful. Learn to have respect for me. Conversation over.'

I pass him and go to the clock and clock out. He's all, 'You do realize I'm talking about driving you home right?'

Me: 'Yeah, and I don't care. I have my mom. And Uber. Way cheaper.'

Him: 'Like I give a care.'

Me: 'Then why are we having this conversation?'

Me: 'See ya. Once again, conversation over.'

My team lead just knows and I watch him leave as I go to her. Then to [nice Taurus coworker] and the guys and tell them what shit [jerky coworker] did.

He was worried and wanted to keep peace. And I'm like, 'Man, the guy needs to stop that shit. You know me well enough. He tried to stand up and be taller but I'm the Aspie Alpha. Not him.' We do the usual handshake and I head home.

Now, you have to understand- just because we're Aspergers, doesn't mean we don't have a right to be treated kindly. To be treated respectibly. Over the course of the years, he's bluntly called me a bitch. He's made sarcastic remarks when I clean and do my job before he gets to a building like, 'I'm actually surprised you did your job.'

He's belittled me and called me lazy. He's also, multiple times- voiced his opinion on how he feels about religion.

He's made me feel self-concious about my body by knowing I'm a cosplayer and telling me 'I can't see you as that character. You're too big for them. Maybe if you lost 15 or 20 lbs though.' All the while, boosting himself up and talking about all his accomplishments. All the while- basking in the fact that every time he says something rude and I don't call him on it- that that means he's won.

You must understand. I am not a violent person. My heart flutters in fear of yelling at people. Hurting them.

But I feel my anger turn to not spite- but courage. A voice in me that was once a whisper every time he inturupts me turning into a roar of confidence. Something that can't be silent. I wouldn't take this from a friend. And I will not take this from an enemy.

To other Aspergers people- how would you handle this? I really want to know. NTs can answer, but I really want a fellow Aspergers person's opinion.