#lemme be like ah shit i brought this one on myself whoops

[troglobite]

i love* when chronic pain flares up SUPER fucking bad for no discernible reason, completely canceling all plans and hopes i had for the day

*fucking loathe w my entire existence

[tyranttortoise]

Hey I know your probably super busy but I just wanted to ask if you could make a super short story on tumblr of you meeting stretch cause i really ship you guys i was just wondering what would happen if you ended up meeting each other. Your amazing Senpai!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just wanted to tell you that.

*A chance to self-insert myself with Stretch and incorporate my x-ray headcanons that no one asked for in one go?  You know I’m all over this!  Also, thank you, my sweet anon-kohai!  

*Oh man, lemme lay some first person on you guys.  I’ve been writing in second for so long that this felt all kinds of wrong.  

As I walked through the ER, I glanced down at the order in my hand, wondering what I was about to walk into.  The registration was woefully incomplete, with only a placeholder “John Doe” name and a generic birthday, so I wasn’t sure what sort of patient to expect.  Usually, those sorts of placeholders were used if the patient was incapacitated or in some sort of traumatic accident–yet the doctor had only ordered an x-ray of the forearm, instead of the usual chest and pelvis films.

It was probably a drunk without an ID that slipped and fell.  Wouldn’t that just be my luck?

Either way, from the cast cart situated outside the room, it seemed like they had already fixed the fracture without getting x-rays beforehand.  That’s weird, but I shrugged it off.  They probably had films done at another hospital.

I knocked on the door to announce my presence, and then swung it open, my usual speech already on my tongue.

“Hey there, I’m Ty–”

The sight inside the room caused me to trail off, my professionalism wavering.  There were two people inside, one seated on the edge of the stretcher with his sleeve rolled up and a bright blue cast on his arm–obviously my patient–and another clinging to the man’s opposite arm and wailing.

“I’M S-SO SORRY!  IT’S ALL MY F-FAULT!  WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO PAPY NOW?!”  the crying man asked, his grip tightening protectively on my patient’s–Papy’s?–arm.  

I was so thrown off that I completely blanked for a moment.

These two men were skeleton monsters.  

Monsters had separate hospitals–healers, magic, and all of that fun stuff–so, any that were mistakenly brought to ours were immediately transferred out.  We simply didn’t have the means to treat them.  I’ve never had one as a patient, and they haven’t exactly been welcomed with open arms into my city, either.  I’ve seen a few here and there, but never…

Never skeletons.

“Sorry,” I blurted, brushing the hair back from my face in a nervous gesture.  I dropped my gaze to the order clasped in my hand, as if I could glean some sort of new insight, but really–I just wanted to try not to stare.  

And boy was that difficult.

“I’m from X-ray.  I’m just going to get a couple of pictures of that arm,” I explained, while the distraught man sniffled.

“PICTURES?”  His brow furrowed.  "WHAT’S X-RAY?“

"Pictures of, ah… bones,” I replied, noticing the way my patient’s grin suddenly widened.  From the look on his face, I could tell he was amused.  

“considering i’m a skeleton, i’d say i’m pretty photogenic,” he claimed, which made me relax.  Oh geez, at least we’re addressing the elephant in the room.  

“They just want to make sure the bones look all right inside the cast,” I mentioned with a smile, since the other man still looks so baffled.  I could only assume that’s why they would order the x-ray of a skeleton monster.  

“IT’S NOT GOING TO HURT??”

“Nope, won’t feel a thing.”  I turned my attention back to my patient and opened the door wider.  "We’ll just go down the hall, Mister… Papy?“

"papyrus,” my patient corrected, standing from the bed.  He chuckled and shrugged slightly.  "you can call me stretch, hun.“

There’s something about his lazy smirk that made me blush, and oh man, he’s a skeleton, and I needed to get it together.  

"I’M COMING, TOO!” the other skeleton insisted, standing as well, but Papyrus stopped him with a gentle hand to his chest.  

“nah, bro, you can stay here.  it’ll only take a minute.”  

“BUT–!”  

“just relax and watch some tv, ok?”

He looked as if he wanted to protest further, but as soon as his eye(lights?) shifted to the cast on Papyrus’s arm, he deflated and nodded.  

“hey.”  Papyrus set his good hand on the other’s shoulder, his expression gentle.  "i’m ok.“

"ALL RIGHT.  I’LL SEE IF I CAN HURRY UP YOUR RELEASE FROM THE HOSPITAL WHILE YOU GO TAKE PICTURES TOGETHER!”

I didn’t correct him, instead marveling over the gentleness Papyrus showed him.  The other skeleton still seemed distraught, his cheeks a strange shade of blue–just like the tears prickling the corner of his eyesockets–but he managed to smile brightly.  

When we stepped into the hall, Papyrus closed the door behind us.  

“sorry ‘bout that.  that’s my bro, sans.  he’s never seen me hurt before.”

I lead the way, though couldn’t help trying to sneak glances of Papyrus’s bones.  Most of them seemed to be covered by his oversized orange hoodie, but he was wearing shorts, and from what I could glimpse of his knee and tib/fib, the anatomy looked strikingly similar to a human.  

“It’s no problem.  It’s sweet of him to worry about you.  What happened to your arm?”

“i’d rather not cast blame.”  He winked, lifting his cast slightly, and I realized he just made a pun.  Gentle, charming, and funny?  He’s hit all my weak spots.  "it’s nothing i’m too broken up about.“

I grinned like an idiot.  I even slowed my pace from what my friends call my 'hospital speed’ to meander beside him.  He’s easy-going, in no hurry, and even with his slouched posture, he’s much taller than I am.  

"You’ve never broken a bone before?”

He shook his head.  "first time for everything.  have you?  i heard human bones can break pretty easily.“

"No broken bones here.  Are monster bones stronger than human ones?”

He shrugged.  "dunno.  a lot of monsters don’t have bones, but probably.  never seen a monster break anything.“

"Really?”  I couldn’t keep the surprise from my voice–and slight disappointment.  X-raying monsters and seeing how different their anatomy is would be so interesting!  I opened up the door to the x-ray room, twisting to face him while he follows me inside.  

He grinned wider.  "yep.  hate to break it to ya, hun, but this may be your only chance to x-ray a monster.“

"Well, I do have to admit, out of all the monsters out there, the fact that I’m x-raying you is kind of hilarious.”

“almost as if you already have x-ray vision, huh?”  

“Pretty much, yeah.  Have a seat here… Stretch.”  He’s charming enough that I tried out the nickname he gave me, only for Papyrus to hold my gaze the entire time he moves to sit down.  There’s something about his grin that made me feel a little nervous, and I hoped my face didn’t look as red as I thought it did.  It certainly was hot all of a sudden.  

On the end of the table, there was a digital detector already set up, the x-ray tube positioned over it.  Papyrus rolled up the sleeve of his uninjured arm, exposing the bones of his radius and ulna–and I couldn’t help but stare.  The anatomy looked just like a human arm, although his carpal bones were more solidified.  

He had me a little confused, so I pulled the order sheet out of my pocket to check which arm was ordered–but he only looked amused.  "so, is it broken?“  He held up his uninjured arm, quirking a bony brow.  How was  he even able to move his brow ridge, anyway?  His skull doesn’t even have any sutures along the top; it’s all just smooth bone.

Oh god, I’m staring again.

"Legally, I can’t tell you.  I just take x-rays; I don’t read 'em.”  I shrug, reaching over him to grab onto his casted arm and slide it into the center of the detector.  

He chuckled.  "honey, it isn’t an x-ray.  it’s my arm.“

I definitely started blushing now.  Shit, from the way his lazy grin curved up around the edges, his eyelights twinkling with mirth, it must be one of those obvious, fierce blushes.  

Can skeletons blush?  

Now isn’t the time to find out, c'mon.

"Also not a doctor,” I insisted, trying to concentrate, but… dammit, it was hard when he kept looking at me with that grin.  His voice was low and smooth, and I found myself wanting to hear more puns.  

I positioned his casted arm and then fixed the collimator light on the tube to encompass all of his forearm.  He watched intently, flexing his phalanges outside the cast.  I don’t even really need to touch his hand to get him in the right position, but… I’m curious.  So, I reached out and touched his fingers under the guise of straightening his arm.  His bones were smooth and warm.

“ever touched bones before?” he inquired, and I felt as if he were trying to fluster me–to call me out for my curiosity.  Instead, I just smiled and met his gaze with a shrug.

“A couple of times, actually.”

His smirk faded, and he gave me an incredulous look.  "seriously?“

"You’d be surprised.”  With him flustering me, I start to walk back to the console behind the wall to shoot the x-ray, but then I notice the lead shield is still on the table.  "Whoops.  Hang on, lemme lay this in your lap.“

He leans back a little, keeping his arm in place as I lay the heavy lead across his pelvis.  "what’s this for?”

“Protection.  It keeps the x-rays off you.”  I gave him the vague speech I give the curious kids without a second thought.  However, Papyrus doesn’t buy it.  

“why’s it only across my legs then?”

Eh, he’s an adult; I can go into more detail.  "It protects your reprodu–… ah…“  I trailed off awkwardly when I realize again that he’s a skeleton.  

Does he even have…?

Papyrus’s grin turned absolutely shit-eating.  "my…?”

So much blood rushed to my face at once that I felt light-headed and absolutely mortified.  Why did I have to be so awkward?  "Your reproductive organs,“ I stated, trying to regain any sort of professionalism despite the fact that I’m burning right now.  "The radiation we use is minimal, but it’s still for the best to always be protected.”

I can’t meet his gaze anymore.

“yep, guess there are some bones that need protection.”

Does that mean he does have..?

Hoo boy.  I nodded, humming my assent as I turned around and went to the console.  By now, a few other techs have started peeking around and making loud, surprised noises over the fact that my patient’s a skeleton.  I swung an arm back at them in an effort to make them shut up, and when I glanced through the window to the exam room, Papyrus is waving at them with his good arm.  

“Don’t move, all right?”

“sorry.  that spiel about protection was just so moving i couldn’t help it.”

Someone help me; I can’t stop laughing.  

I took the x-ray and waited for the image to pop up on the screen.  I’ve gotta admit, I was curious to see how badly he broke his arm, as well as how the ortho doc fixed it.  Would the bones really stay together inside the cast, or did they plate it with some wire and then cast it so the bones wouldn’t shift?   Will his bones heal at the same rate as a humans, or does magic speed up the process? 

The image that pops up on the screen was unreadable.

It was bright white and blurry, as if his arm had been moving, with faint grays where the cast outlined his arm.  I stared at it for a moment, while my other coworkers moved to try to peek around my shoulder.  

“how’s it look?  break it to me gently.”

“Uhhh…”  If it’s white, that means the x-rays didn’t go through it, and I didn’t see him move his arm.  "Lemme try the next view.“  I walked around the wall and hold my arm out straight to simulate the positioning.  "Gimme a karate chop.”

Papyrus complied, though he seemed skeptical.  "did the first picture take?“

"You might not be as photogenic as you thought,” I responded with a shrug, which brought his grin back.  I reached out and grabbed his hand, rolling his thumb back slightly in an effort to get his bones directly on top of one another.  As soon as I let go, Papyrus rolled his hand back in.  

I grabbed his hand and rolled it back again.  "Keep it like this,“ I instructed, and his fingers lightly curled around my thumb.  

"if you say so, hun,” he replied in that smooth, low voice, and I reluctantly pulled my hand away.  That look clearly stated that I’m blushing again, that he was aware of what he was doing.

I headed back to the console and took the second x-ray, bumping up the settings in an effort to penetrate his bone.  Just like the first, it turned out bright white and blurry.  "It can’t be a mechanical issue because my marker showed up…“ I murmured both to myself and my nosy coworkers, pointing at the R beside his cast, denoting which arm it is.  Papyrus seemed concerned by the way I was staring at his films, so he scoots the chair back and stands, setting the lead shield on the edge of the table.  

"is it ok if i come back there?”  I nodded, and Papyrus turned the corner to look at the x-rays.  He stared at them for a moment, before shrugging, seemingly unperturbed.  "welp i ulna see a white blob.“

"Looks like your bone is different than a human’s,” I responded, feeling a little disappointed.  Maybe it has to do with his magic?  Magic might not be able to be penetrated by radiation.  Or maybe his bones are just comprised of something radiopaque–it could be a number of things.  

“ah well, it’ll be ok.  monsters heal fast.  i just came because my bro insisted, anyway,” Papyrus remarked with a shrug.   He’s definitely one of the most chill people I’ve ever met, I’ll give him that.  

“Well, that’s all I can do.  Lemme walk ya back to your room.”  

I lead him back into the hall, and even though the x-rays didn’t work out… I felt reluctant to take him back.  Maybe it was because he was the first monster I’ve actually spoken to for this long, and that’s interesting.  Or maybe it’s because his bones are fascinating.  

Or maybe it’s because he’s funny and seems kind toward his brother, and my stomach actually twisted when he looked me in the eye and grinned.

“so… what time do you get off work?”

I faltered in my steps and nearly tripped.  Is he asking what I think he’s asking?

Unfortunately, I work late.  

“Midnight,” I replied with a wry smile.

Papyrus hummed, slowing his steps.  "do you like pancakes or donuts?“

"Love 'em both.”  My heart’s racing.  

“welp, i know a place that stays open 24/7.  muffet’s.”  Papyrus reached into his hoodie’s pocket and handed me a wrinkled card.

                                                   stretch                                                   sentry                                                 odd jobs

A phone number was listed below.  

“text me if ya wanna grab a bite to eat.  trust me, you donut want to miss the food.”  He winked, and I found myself thinking that I really didn’t want to miss out on the company, either.

“I might take you up on that.  For the food, of course.”

“hmm… i think i might be able to take x-rays now.”

“Why do you say that?”

Papyrus grinned, leaning in close to me as we approached his room.  With his mouth directly beside my ear, he murmured, “because i can see through you.”

[betta-resplendent]

Warning; Needles, blood. No pics it’s k

i have a super tender bruise on my hand :C

TL;DR: Had MRI. Needed contrast. Was stuck 4 times. Once in the hand. Vein blew. Needed a goddamn ultrasound to the arm to even find a good vein.

Super long post but I tried to make it at least a little humorous for anybody who actually wanted to read it. I kept blood to a minimum. :c

I had to have my MRI rescheduled from Tuesday; I ended up having it on FRIDAY of this week (yesterday), and because I’d already had spine surgery in 2012 they wanted to do contrast. Which means IV.

Now, I don’t know if it’s because of my weight, or I have naturally deep veins, or a combo of both but I have ALWAYS been a hard stick. I usually don’t leave hospitals without at least two bandages where they tried to poke me and failed to get anything. It once took two nurses at a MedPoint to stick me because they can only have 3 attempts before they have to find somebody else to do it. I have scarring on the inside of my left elbow from the amount of times I’ve been poked and prodded. You’d think, after all of this AND two steroid injections in my back (THAT SUCKED OH MY GOD I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN), I’d be used to this. However I still have a horrid fear of needles, to the point where usually I have to look away and squeeze something, whether it’s somebody’s hand or the damn chair I’m in (or in this case, the blanket they wrapped around me)

But yesterday was the absolute worst it’s been since the steroid injections. Now, to give the nurses credit they were super nice and clearly felt bad for all the prodding. They kept me calm, even got me multiple warm blankets because between the anxiety and the room being cold AF, I was shaking so bad I could barely speak. I hadn’t slept at all that day, and the appointment was at 8:30. I was exhausted, so I think that amplified the pain by quite a bit. I laid down, the nurse explained what they needed (again), and they started. I gave them a warning that my veins were hard to pin down even with tons of water. I’d even been rubbing the insides of my arm to try and get one to work. The nurse said “Oh that’s alright, we’ll get it.”

Oh boy.

So she wraps the tourniquet on my arm, I pump my fist for a moment and then hold. I’ve done this shit before man. I got dis on lock. She feels around, pressing and rubbing at the skin. Already, she’s getting perplexed. A few soft ‘hrm’s’ here and there as she searched all up and down my arm. I tried to make small talk but I was already trembling like a goddamn baby in a snowstorm, so that wasn’t working out too well. Not to mention I already had the earplugs in so it was hard to hear anything.

She asked about hobbies. I mentioned gardening. She says she has a flowerbed overtaken by weeds. I laughed and said ‘Same.’ We mentioned creeping charlie. I told her about my mint plants. I told her about the dogs. Shit, I even mentioned using fish water for the herbs and talked about Bailey.

Through all of that, she’d gotten increasingly concerned. I think the moment she started smacking at the veins to find something was when she realized ‘this is going to suck’.

She thinks she found one. “Do you want me to warn you?”

“I don’t like surprises when it comes to needles. Yes, please.”

She cleans off the area. She presses again to make absolutely sure she has it. She preps the needle. “Okay, you’ll feel a pinch.”

In it goes. Fucking ow. Anybody who’s had their blood drawn, or gotten an IV, or...dealt with needles at all really (no judgement <3) knows that when you or somebody else misses the fucking vein and start to dig for it, it is the weirdest feeling in the fucking world and it hurts. It starts small, sort of uncomfortable, after the initial stick. The longer it goes, the more it grows. It radiates almost like an itch through the arm. I felt it down in my goddamn fingers at one point because I’m too much of a coward to say ‘enough, try somewhere else’. This goes on for what seems like five minutes (tho i’m sure it was only like, one or two at MOST, probably not even that), before she sighs, “Well, I can’t seem to find it.”

“That’s okay.” She pulls out the needle, wipes away any blood, keeps searching. Keep in mind, I refuse to move my head to look at anything she’s doing. By now another nurse came out and brought a heated blanket to me to help stop the shaking. It helps a little, enough to let them work.

Nurse count: two.

She searches around my elbow. I visibly tense up when she starts searching my hand. I’ve gotten my blood drawn from the hand before and lemme tell you that shit hurts. A friend of mine claims that hurts less than the elbow and man do I envy that because that is not the case for me at all.

I think she noticed it, because she didn’t dwell long on the hand before moving on to my left arm.

Tally: Right arm, 1 attempt.

She starts the process again on my left arm. Prodding at the skin, rubbing, turns into slapping at different points hoping for something to come up. I’m now looking to my right, staring at my glasses and the locker key containing my bag and my cane. I counted the damn cabinets, tried to guess what was inside. Anything to keep my mind off of it.

She’s reaching back onto the little caddy she’s got with all the supplies. I prepare myself for another stick. She cleans, she pokes some more, slaps again, cleans one more time.

“Okay. A pinch.”

Here we go again. She misses. More digging. I’m staring up at the ceiling at a dim, horizontal (vertical, from my position, perpendicular to me) image of a sky. I’m assuming that if I’d been put into the machine feet first, perhaps the image would have been turned on to give me something to look at. Maybe it would have moved? I’ll never know. I don’t even know if my head would stick out of the machine. I didn’t even know you could go feet-first. That was news to me. 

She digs for another minute. My fingers start to hurt. That weird radiating numb-pain is going to my shoulder and fingers from the crook of my elbow and god damn I wish it would stop. She lets out another sigh, shakes her head. “Okay. Well. We’re just gonna go ahead and do the first set of images, and we’ll pull you out, try again, and do the last 3 with contrast.”

“okiedokie”

In I went. They were nice enough to provide a cloth to cover my eyes, the ‘emergency escape ball’, as I call it, and put me in. I stayed as still as possible. I shit you not, I was more relaxed in that loud ass machine than I was outside of it. It was also so warm in there omg. I fell asleep in the damn thing. Granted it was more of a cat-nap that I woke myself up from by grunting (whoops), but it’s still astounding I managed to sleep while the machine was screaming at me and taking pictures. 

After the last picture of the first round was done they pulled me out. The two nurses and another nurse was there to prep me for another run to poke at me. I felt like a science experiment. 

Nurse count: Three.

They spoke pretty quietly. I don’t know what they said really. Their tone was more confused or concerned than anything. With the ear plugs I couldn’t really hear them and you can bet your ass I wasn’t gonna look at ‘em either. They tried my right arm again, poking at it. They could find nothing. The first nurse asked, “Has anybody gotten you here before?” while running her fingers over my elbow. I told her no, not to my knowledge, as a bit of a joke. I don’t think it was appreciated but she gave me a polite chuckle anyway. The heat from the blanket was gone so I was back to trembling  again. The third nurse left, came back with a second blanket, and layered it underneath the first to keep in heat. Thank the Gods for nurses.

The first nurse moved to my left arm again, poked some more. She pressed against the spot she’d gotten previously and sighed, “You’ve definitely got some scarring there.”

“Yeah? I’m not surprised.” Only I was shaking so it was more like ‘Y-yeah? m’n-not s-s-surprised’. Fuck, I felt dumb.

She keeps looking. Eventually she focuses on the hand. Ah, shit. I tensed up again and she says, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Do what you gotta do.” Because who am I to argue with a nurse? At this point I just wanna fuckin go home and sleep. And eat because man I hadn’t eaten for ~24 hours and i was hungry af. 

She pokes at the hand, finds one. Slaps at it a little, pokes it again, nods. All three nurses are around me, one next to the nurse poking at me, and the other watching from the far end by the window in case assistance was needed. The humming from the machine was getting obnoxious, the lights were too bright, I was too tired and I just wanted to go. 

“Warning?”

“Yes please.”

She preps the needle. I try to relax, stare back up at the ceiling again. The cloud looks like a bunny. 

“Okay. Pinch.” 

Oh. My. God.

I could have started crying. Well, I did, but not much. The pain was immediate and instead of dulling for a few before radiating it started at 10 and just went from there. She dug for a few minutes, inhaled sharply. Exhaled just as sharply. 

“Well,” and I looked at her, focused on her face instead of her hands. “I found one.”

“Yeah?”

“It blew.”

Fuck me running. All I could manage was “well that’s unfortunate” because oh my god what the fuck am I supposed to say to that? Tbh it didn’t really hurt, though now I’m wondering if the pain was that bad because it blew or if the vein deciding ‘fuck it’ and going out like an abandoned mine shaft was really painless. It was at this point that the third nurse left the room. 

Nurse count: Two. The second nurse left. 

Nurse count: one.

She stepped back from me and apologized. I, of course, said it wasn’t a big deal. I mean jesus, I did warn you, I kind of expect some difficulty but jesus christ not this much. A few more minutes pass. The two nurses that left return, followed by another nurse, somebody that puts IV’s in frequently. 

Nurse count: Four.

So, now it’s his turn. He starts poking, prodding, rubbing, tapping. His hands are far rougher but he’s nice enough, I figure he’s gotta be kinda rough with it if he has any hope of fuckin’ finding anything in the Girl Who Had No Veins. 

He lets out a sigh and another ‘hrm’. I smile a bit weakly, “how long do i got” which earns a couple wry laughs. That’s all I got at this point, don’t judge me. 

They step away to talk for a few minutes. I’m back staring up at the ceiling. The other cloud looks like a fucked up potato with a stick attached to it. 

The first nurse comes back. “He’s going to prep an ultrasound to see if we can’t find something.”

Oh my god. This is new. A goddamn ultrasound. Tf. Again, I can’t argue I’m in a damn flat ‘bed’ attached to a giant machine and walk with a cane. I have no leverage and no escape.

They detach me from the machine and roll me into the room on the other side of the machine. It’s dark as hell, but that’s okay. Several people are in the room and start standing around me to watch and/or assist.

Nurse count: Fucking six. Why are there so many people back there is that normal or did I become a sideshow somehow?

He gets the machine prepped, uses that nasty gel stuff, and starts pushing against my arm. It takes maybe two minutes to finally find one he’s satisfied with. He presses his goddamn nail against the area for a solid 30 seconds while the other nurses get the saline and contrast fluid. I looked up at him like ‘tf?’ and he just gave a weak smile, “Marking it so we don’t lose it again.”

Fffffair enough. Mark away.

The nurses get back, he does the injection, they push through the saline, then the contrast. “You’ll taste or smell something funky.”

Gross. They were right and I hate it. I don’t even know how to describe it. 

The contrast was put in, she told me it would feel ‘cool in temperature’ which...it really didn’t. I didn’t feel a damn thing. They finished that up, I was wheeled back into the room with the machine, realigned, and we finished the last 3 pictures. They removed the IV when I got out, and I swear I could not have hobbled out of there fast enough. I bought a sandwich at the hospital cafe and ate it the moment we got home, chatted with my girlfriend a bit, and went tf to sleep.

I dislike hospitals. Greatly. I don’t blame anybody really, it was all one big clusterfuck and they were nice, but damn.

/story.