#also if i ever DO get married it WILL be because something about it was funny to me

[quarterlifekitty]

first, im a bit new to cod but idk…

thinking about ghost’s spouse visiting him on base or some shit, and everyone else wondering how tf he was emotionally flexible enough to bag a bad bitch 🫶

note: this is just my personal little fantasy world headcanon lol so take it with a grain of salt!

Simon maintains a vaguely human lifestyle by adhering to one very strict rule: rigid compartmentalization. You don’t come up at work, and work doesn’t come up around you. Never the twain shall meet, he thinks. And he’s not exactly a watershed of information when he’s with his mates. And it’s not like anyone is asking “When was the last time you got fucked, Ghost?” and seriously expecting a response.

He tells you about the crew, but not about what he does with them. Killing, espionage, torture– that kind of thing stays off the dinner table.

Let it be known that you do not surprise him at work. You respect his boundaries too much, which is why he’s so fucking serious about you, honestly. He calls, asking if you can run something to him. This is maybe the greatest symbol of trust he can bestow, as a man who has only a fraction of an existence in the eyes of the government: he asks you to bring a document of his. He gives you the instructions on how to find it, and trusts that you won’t look at anything you don’t have to.

You know Johnny lets out a low whistle when he sees you coming up with a manilla folder in your hands.

“Who’s that bloody bombshell, then?”

You spy Simon and jog up to him with a smile. He’s the one who embraces you, short but strong. Cue the nigh audible gasping.

“LT, you absolute dog.”

Simon rolls his eyes as the two of you are crowded in short order. You make polite introductions, but have a previous engagement– you really did only have time to stop by.

Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave.

Everyone is wondering how this could’ve happened. For the record– I think in this scenario, Johnny and Gaz go through a constant string of heartbreaks, and John is kinda married to his job. So in a cruel twist of fate, Simon is actually the only one currently with a partner, much less a spouse.

“How’d you manage to bag a right beauty like that, LT? C’mon, spill it–”

Simon doesn’t mean to diminish your value or anything, but his answer is not going to be satisfying, because he doesn’t find it that difficult to get women. And also, you’re his true love, so you’re perfect for each other and growing close to you was as easy as breathing. But he doesn’t say that.

“S’not that hard. Remember the stuff she says, don’t keep no secrets… dick ‘er down the way she likes.” He doesn’t mean to be crude about it, but from his perspective, is one of the main reasons why you tolerate him. Soap howls at the response.

He’s telling the truth, though! He has a scarily good memory. Remembers every friend you’ve ever told him about, every movie you’ve ever mentioned, every meal he’s cooked for you and how you liked it. He remembers dates, times, and lists with no issue whatsoever.

And he’s never kept anything from you. He tells you how the fuck he’s feeling, and you return the favor, even if it isn’t pleasant. The only thing he doesn’t mention to you are the gorey details of his work.

And you have never had more of a communicative partner, ironically. There were times in the beginning when he didn’t know all of the ins and outs of coaxing pleasure from your body, so he asked you to show him how you like it. And that scary memory is at work yet again– every sensitive spot, every offhand mention of a kink you’ve not yet explored together, every arch of your spine and clench of your cunt. He’s got it down to a science. Could write novels about making love to you specifically.

What I’m trying to say, at the end of the day, is that Ghost bagged a bad bitch by being autistic.

[onlyonewoman]

You are so valid! I'm on the ace spectrum. Not sex-aversed but simply not very interested and I discovered a couple of years ago that my husband doesn't like kissing. He felt bad for letting me know and I was like "yeah, but if I know YOU don't like it, I wont like it either". We've not kissed for YEARS, unless you count closemouthed pecks and we very rarely kiss on the lips ever. We rarely have sex because, well, none of us are overly interested. He's the one who suggests it when he realises "well, it's been a while" and then I get to think about it and perhaps I'll say yes. I don't find sex uncomfortable during the circumstances, I just don't need it and it has to be done in a certain way as to not be painful. I find light touches painful, for example, and I LOATHE foreplay. Like, sex and kisses aren't part of my love language AT ALL. It can be nice on occasion, yes, but since French kisses are uncomfortable for my husband, there's no way in hell we're doing that. Kissing is NOT fine to him. Sex is, but not kissing. And sex is SOMETIMES fine to me, but I wont suggest it, simply because my brain doesn't give that signal to me. Since I want sex on occasion, we have worked out a way for that to happen together, where my husband simply suggests "how about a fuck?" (yes, those are pretty much the exact words) and I always get startled because I wasn't prepard for the question and I'm most likely lost in some kind of project. Usually, I will go with "yeah, sure, why not" or "okay, but I'm not doing any heavy work here". Because to ME, it's not necessary but it can be a quite nice activity. I have NO problems getting an orgasm and to me, that's the primary goal of fucking. So in this close to 20 years old relationship, we sometimes fuck and never kiss and love each other deeply. We've not shared a bed in years due to highly different sleep patterns and it took time for both of us not to feel bad for it. But as we see it, it's way more important for us to share WAKING TIME together, than sleeping together. Sleep is SO important and we're not gonna sacrifice that for the idea that married couples share a bed. People quite often mistake lack of physical touch as lack of intimacy. We're living in a society where physical contact is something of huge importance and when a couple lack parts of what's considered the norm for romantic relationsips, one can easily feel like there's something wrong with us. And love languages also change with age. I'm currently in the early stages of menopause and christ on a bike to the desert, it's not being kind to my body. On occasion, that makes me feel a bit broken, because it takes time to adjust and menopause is different for everyone going through it. Combined with the fact that I'm on the ace spectrum, sex is currently on the bottom list of my needs. My husband completely respects that, just as I would never ever urge him to kiss me, even if I can miss it. Your boundaries are valid, your love language is vaild and you don't have to kiss anyone for any reason unless you both want to.

How come whenever ppl make arguments about Ace ppl being valid, they're always centered around fucking. It's all "they fuck too y'know" and "they don't have to fuck to be valid" and all that shit. But it's never about kissing.

I'm ace, I've known that, I've known that I don't want an explicit relationship, and that it's ok bc that's what ppl validate in ace peeps, but never about kissing

I always thought "well I might not put out but kissing is fine" and then it almost happens. And then I get asked for a "proper kiss" and I don't

I don't want that, the kiss feels wrong, I feel wrong

People always talk about not have sexual urges as feeling broken, but what about not even "being able to handle a kiss"? Huh? What about that?

What about always thinking kissing's fine and then you realize it's just as off the table as sex, and it feels wrong.

And I know it's not wrong, that I'm not broken for that, but it doesn't feel that way when ur world view is so drastically shifted, when ur feelings of wrongness aren't nearly as addressed as the general idea of what feelings should be wrong

Because people assume kissing is still fine. Oh you don't go all the way? That's fine as long as we can still make out. Oh we can't kiss? Are you sure? You know that's not the same thing?

I just want to feel validated and understood. Is that too much to ask?

[arsenicflame]

It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.

At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return. 

It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.

Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug. 

“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.

(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)

By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.

When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.

Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”

And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”

That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.

[agentrouka-blog]

Asoiaf is so great with parallels and I am always thinking about the parallels between Sansa and Dany. Dany getting married off at 13 but the marriage being consummated and "happy" (in her mind) vs Sansa getting married off at 12 and the marriage not being consummated but still miserable and tense. Drogo being a rapist who "reforms" (lol) vs Tyrion's descent into becoming the sort of person who would do that to the sunset girl. Both girls thinking they're the last of their house (with Dany using it as motivation and justification for conquering/claiming her "birthright" vs others using it/using Sansa to scheme their way to her "birthright"). Embracing the (blood) magic of her family by "birthing" dragons (symbol of her house) vs being cut off from the (blood) magic of her house and having her wolf (symbol of her house) be murdered. Having a disgusting old man creep on her, with the kiss scenes being described similarly - trying to fight them off but initially being pulled in deeper (Jorah and LF). Really sad to think about. I really do believe that Dany is a very tragic figure, I wish her stans hadn't made it so impossible for me to like her

It really is horrible to see just what kind of objectification or sense of loss runs through their parallels, and at the same time what it highlights about them. These are young girls. And the are under constant assault.

The parallels to Sansa highlight the true vulnerability and hidden misery in the story, which Dany tries to pave over with her identity as blood of the dragon (and her literal dragons), and her denial about the repulsive nature of the men abusing her. It highlights the many ways this young girl was never ever spared, never loved or protected as she should have been. And like the male villains with whom she shares these traits, when she does gain power, she is not magically pure of heart and effective and wise and humane in her actions. She returns to the world what the world gave her, and it's harsh. Because while her aims may be good in her eyes, she never adjusted her understanding of justice or of acceptable tools. A very current phenomenon. A very universally human character, ultimately.

The parallels to Dany highlight the potential for power and agency that Sansa has been prevented from gaining so far, but also the ways in which the things she was shown compassion and safety. The ways she was loved or had the luxury to be innocent have made her resiliant and emotionally grounded enough to give that back to others without sliding into extremes.

They are both similar and very different, and in the ways GRRM spares Sansa while not sparing Dany, which can seem deeply unfair, GRRM is trying to illustrate something about the destructive power of unprocessed trauma.

Like, granted, he does with 75% of his entire cast of characters.

[lazycats-stuff]

Could you write a batfam story where the reader, who's in an established marriage with Bruce Wayne, accidentally triggers Jason? Perhaps the Wayne family has kept Bruce and Jason's past hardships a secret from the reader, thinking it wasn't important to discuss. However, a misunderstanding between the reader and Jason causes Jason to run away after being triggered of his pass. The rest of the family understands that it was a misunderstanding and tells the reader that Jason will come back and not to worry. They explain Jason's troubled pass with Bruce. However, the reader is consumed by so much guilt and sets out to find Jason. Literally the reader goes and searches Gotham top to bottom IN THE MIDDLE OF A HURRICANE! 😭The reader ends up locating Jason in a warehouse, where Jason’s freezing and the rain is pouring right through. More happens but I want the story to like end where the reader and Jason are crying together in the pouring rain and Jason realizes that he now has a loving dad that would do anything to ensure his and his brothers safety. And like the reader brings Jason back to the manor and everyone else is thinking to themselves like damn, (y/n) really is the best thing to happen to this family, literally the damn glue. Or something… like if (y/n) wasn’t there to save Jason he could have been dead… again.

I am sorry this is so long… i just couldn’t stop thinking of this story dynamic 😊

Oh, my jay bird... Of course I can do it... My poor bird. Also, 2k followers? Why thank you. Also, taking some time off to focus on college because I have some shit coming up. To say lightly.

Summary: The family didn't tell (Y/N) about Jason's trauma. And that causes problems and some broken hearts.

Warnings: Mentions of Jason's past, but nothing graphic, (Y/N) is done with emotional constipation from everyone, but he still loves them a lot, also hurricane.

(Y/N) has been in the family for a few years now. Married with the patriarch of the family, Bruce Wayne, was the best decision he has ever made. Bruce, while known to the public as a playboy at the time, abandoned that mindset, all for (Y/N). Boys accepted (Y/N), once they saw that (Y/N) wasn't marrying Bruce for money. (Y/N) will be marrying him for love.

Were there a few hiccups with Bruce being Batman and all the nightly patrols? Yes. However, (Y/N) and Bruce worked through it. And more importantly, (Y/N) essentially adopted all of the boys as his own. He saw them as his own sons rather than looking at them as their stepsons. And besides, saying that they are his sons brings (Y/N) an indescribable amount of happiness. And besides, living with 4 boys is always fun.

(Y/N) knew about their trauma, but what no one told him was the trauma that Jason went through. He had a vague idea, but never knew exactly. He didn't feel qualified to prod around in anyone's head, anyone's mind, but he made sure to let them all know that if they need to talk about something, get something off of their chest, he is the person they can come to talk to.

And it has happened a few times. Sometimes they would come after a nightmare, squeezing between (Y/N) and Bruce, looking for comfort. Now, everyone was unsure as to what to call him. Batdad or mother hen... That one remains to be determined soon enough by the boys.

It was a tough day for everyone in the household and everyone was ready to straight up murder each other. (Y/N) had an awful day at work, Bruce had a bad day as a CEO and as Batman, well, the Batman part was only the night before, but has moved onto the day. The other boys had difficult days at school and at patrol. Jason had a big problem with his nightmares and flashbacks. Not to mention, Gotham was expecting a hurricane to come over and just sweep over it. It shouldn't be bad and there shouldn't be any damage besides any heavy rain.

Gotham natives are used to rains, whether they be small drizzles or storms. However, Bruce worried about it and made sure to get enough supplies, just in case. Safe to say, everyone was on absolute edge. Closed into the same house, despite it being a manor and absolutely huge, tension could be cut with a knife.

And then, Jason and (Y/N) started fighting. It started off as bickering, but then it turned into a fight where hurtful things were said towards each other. Jason, mentally pushed to the limit by the nightmares and flashbacks has had enough and went to his car. He drove off and (Y/N) was fuming still.

But...

When the anger went away, (Y/N) was mortified. Completely and utterly mortified. He essentially crushed whatever relationship he had with Jason. Words hurt more than any punches and any kicks. No matter what Jason went through, (Y/N) was sure that Jason was hurting like hell now.

(Y/N) couldn't stop pacing in the living room, wondering what is happening to Jason at this very moment. A hurricane is going to pass through soon enough, Jason went to God knows where and (Y/N)'s own heart was breaking apart.

" (Y/N), love, you need to calm down. Jason will be fine. He just needs space. "

" Space?! In the middle of a hurricane?! " (Y/N) now yelled, upset beyond belief. He has upset his son and he was telling him to calm down? He might kick Bruce out of their bed.

Bruce then talked about all the trauma that Jason went through, before he adopted him, after he adopted him at the hands of Joker. (Y/N) was now absolutely mortified.

" Father is right. Jason needs some time to cool off. " Damian said in passing, making (Y/N) throw his hands up in the air.

" Is anyone in this damn house emotionally available?! "

Tim shrugged from the sofa and (Y/N) took a deep breath. Bruce watched intently and he could see what (Y/N) was thinking.

" Do not tell me you are going out there. " Bruce said as (Y/N) put his jacket and shoes on.

Dick and Damian paused to watch the entire thing unfold. Tim looked up from his tablet.

" I am. Jason is my son and I'm going to get him back. Tim, track Jason's phone and send me the location. " (Y/N) said, ignoring Bruce. Bruce rubbed his forehead. (Y/N) is a stubborn bastard when he wants to be. And does Bruce love him for it? Yes. Is it annoying sometimes? Yes.

" There is a hurricane! " Tim yelled after (Y/N) as he stormed out.

" (Y/N)! " Bruce yelled after his husband, but it was too late. (Y/N) was already out the door.

" He's nuts, " Damian said underneath his breath.

" And I married him, " Bruce added.

Jason has started to regret the fact that he has decided to even come out here. Sure, (Y/N) and him got into a fight, nasty things were said, but it would be better if he has just stormed up to his room and slammed his door shut. That would have been a better option than this. This damp warehouse, where there was leaking rain wherever you looked...

Jason was shivering, teeth chattering. Cold probably seeped right to his bones. Hypothermia was also on its way too, Jason had no doubt about it. He leaned back against the wall, curling into himself as much as he could and allowed himself to think about what happened with (Y/N), his dad in a way.

They were all on edge from the hurricane, supplies, wifi and all that stuff was needed just in case. Bruce made sure to make the manor proof of any natural disasters. Gotham wouldn't be hit that badly, so there was no need for evacuation, but there was advice to be cautious about it. Everyone was on edge as it is from being cooped up together too much, since Bruce didn't want them to stray too far, just in case.

And Jason being in a foul mood from his nightmares already, he didn't like this one bit. He wanted to be alone, but no. Common areas are a must according to Bruce. So the fight happened and both of them said really hurtful things to each other. And Jason felt guilty. He knew that emotions took over them both, but still... (Y/N) was always trying to be good to them all.

It was wrong.

Jason looked up at the door when he heard a slam. It could be wind. Or maybe someone trying to find shelter?

What Jason didn't expect was (Y/N), wet to the bone, looking around frantically. When his eyes fell on Jason, he sighed in relief.

" Oh Jay, I've been looking for you everywhere! Are you okay?! " (Y/N) ran up to Jason, quickly kneeling down to check to see if he had any injuries. Jason was touched... To have a genuine parent, a loving parent, alongside Bruce, but Bruce is a bit emotionally constipated so (Y/N) is essentially everything that the boys need.

" Bruce told me what you've been through... And now I know why you ran, what made you so upset. It was a combination of everything plus the hurricane. "

Jason nodded and (Y/N) hugged him tightly. Jason hugged him back just as tightly, if not more.

And the two broke down in tears, holding onto each other tightly.

Bruce was pacing in the living room, worried about (Y/N) and Jason. He should have gone after Jason too. He shouldn't have been so stupid. He should have chased Jason down the moment he left the mansion. But no, he's too emotionally constipated to deal with this. Great. Absolutely great.

He flipped his head around when he heard the front door open and then close and then two sets of footsteps. Jason and (Y/N) stepped into the living room, both soaked to the bone.

" Bruce, " (Y/N) said calmly and Bruce had a feeling he would be kicked out of the bedroom.

" (Y/N)... Are you two okay? " Bruce asked softly and (Y/N) nodded, smiling at Jason.

" We are B. Jay, go down to the Batcave. Take a warm shower and get changed into warm clothes. I'm sure the others are there too." (Y/N) softly nudged Jason to get going.

Jason took the hint and went to the Batcave. Once he was gone, Bruce turned to (Y/N).

" I'm sorry. I truly am. I should have gone after him, but I was- "

" Stupid? Yeah. Clearly. But I'm willing to forgive. I assume that the cots are ready? "

" Yup. I prepared you warm clothes, some earplugs so that you can't be awaken by the bats. And also a mask so that you won't be awoken by the lights of the cave. You know, reflectors, Batcomputer... Come on. " Bruce gently lead his cold and wet husband to the Batcave. " A warm shower is in order too. "

(Y/N) rolled his eyes, knowing that he will be forced into a warm shower, warm and dry clothes and an intense cuddling session, where Bruce won't let go, out of fear and love... How did he even marry into this crazy family?

[jordannnggg]

I had the world’s shittiest narcissistic skater boyfriend who was 2 years older than me from 18-23. He treated me so badly, but he was the first person who ever looked at me like I had some form of worth in this world. The emotional abuse started about six months in. He’d break up with me and then call me a few days later in the middle of the night because he “needed” me. I lost 40 pounds I didn’t have to lose because he’d “never been with a girl as big with me”. I went from 130 to 90 at 19 years old. I dyed my hair because he told me he preferred brunettes. He broke up with me when I got my first big tattoo because he didn’t know if he could be with a girl who had big tattoos (he’s now covered head to toe including the side of his head and hands). He told me that if I got pregnant he’d leave the country, but at the same time told me that if I died he’d go out into the forest to fight a bear until it killed him because he couldn’t live without me. He told me we’d get married when we were older and I stayed and I fought and I loved him unconditionally because I thought that’s what love was. I thought my parents had given up too easily when they got divorced. I didn’t want to be like that.

Over the years during our breakups and makeups, I tried to see other guys but it never worked out. I lost myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore or what I liked or what to do outside of the stress of wondering when he would pop up or if he was alright after he called me a few nights before saying he thought he was ODing and then ghosting me after I stayed with him through the night.

Something changed me in 2013. My little sister had been a directioner from the start and I’d been trapped inside this bubble of abuse and depression and hopelessness and just sadness. She made me watch the Best Song Ever video and for the first time I understood what she’d already known for years. We went to go see This Is Us and I fell in love. Particularly with Liam. Liam was the kind of boy I needed to be with. He was sunshine and laughter and talent and bravery and ambition. I fell when he confessed that he was scared he’d never find someone who really loved him for him. It will forever break my heart.

In 2014 I was at a graduation party for my friends at their College. They left to go out to the bars but I hung back with a few others to not spend money and play card games. My boyfriend and I were back together at this point and were talking about getting an apartment together and I was happy because he was finally committing to me in the way I was committed to him. One of the guys at the party and I had flirted and hooked up before, but he was also back in a relationship, so I didn’t think anything of it. I called my boyfriend and he told me to be careful. I woke up the next morning with no idea where I was and half naked. The guy was telling me I needed to go because his mom was taking him to breakfast. I was confused and couldn’t remember anything past playing King’s Cup the night prior.

When I made it back to my friends, they were livid. They accused me of being a home-wrecker, a slut, etc because he had a girlfriend. (No one cared about my boyfriend because they all hated him which was fair). I tried to defend myself but they wouldn’t hear it, so I went home absolutely filled with dread because I didn’t understand what had happened or what I’d done but I knew I had to tell my boyfriend. The friend I’d rode up with tried to be supportive by saying that I’d just made a mistake but I couldn’t help but feel like I hadn’t done anything wrong (I hadn’t). She said I didn’t have to tell my boyfriend but I’m not that kind of person. I felt dirty which I confused with guilt. I was ashamed but also defensive of myself because I felt like I hadn’t done anything wrong despite the evidence against me.

I told him and he was understanding, not because he realized what had happened to me, but because “we’d both fucked up and it would be hypocritical of him to not give me another chance”. That made me mad, I’d never done anything to hurt him-except for this, whatever that was exactly. I swallowed it down and kept quiet because I wanted to move on with him. Something wouldn’t let me, I woke up crying in the middle of the night. That made him angry and he called me a slut and told me to get out of his house if I couldn’t get over what had happened. Itd been 2 days at this point.

We got back together that night. I tried to get over my “mistake” but something wouldn’t let me. I cried whenever he wasn’t around. I felt sick to my stomach. I wasn’t talking to my friends because they were on a cross-country trip with that guy. I was alone and exhausted and broken. I went to my mom’s work and sat outside in the parking lot and sobbed hysterically until she came outside to help me. She told me I should just end things because “we’d hurt each other too much” and again I was defensive, I’d never intentionally hurt him but I felt like I’d betrayed him somehow and my shame allowed me to end things. He told me to kill myself and that I’d ruined his life. I wish I could say that that was the end of it but it never ends with narcissists like him.

But I was finally free for the first time in 5 years. I’d lost everything except for my family and my sister and my favorite bands. I deep dived into 1D with my sister, she would be leaving for university that fall and our last hurrah was a trip to LA to see One Direction at the Rose Bowl for 2 nights. By September I was in love with all five boys, but with soft spots for Harry and Zayn, and a full blown crush on Liam.

I can honestly say that those boys and their enthusiasm for life and their music kept me from going too far into the darkness. I was depressed, but then I’d watch This Is Us, I’d hate myself until I listened to Through the Dark. I wanted a love like Happily felt when I listened to it. I watched every music video, learned all the lore, and when I was with the boys I didn’t think about the very traumatic toxic relationship I was in for 5 years. When I was listening to them my life was like Up All Night and Live While We’re Young, and Midnight Memories, full of youth and joy.

I had five boyfriends who didn’t care what I looked like or how much I weighed and it honestly got me healthy again. My hair grew out long and full and not dyed for the first time in years. My skin was clear, I was eating again and healthier, I went to the gym. I had a job, made new friends, and had plans to move in with my best friend in another city the next year. And when we saw them in concert on 9/12/14 & 9/13/14 it just cemented what I already knew. I loved them.

In the almost ten years since One Direction I have been changed completely. I was 23 in 2014, I’m now 33. I moved away from my hometown, made the greatest friends I’ve ever known, lived like the Midnight Memories/Up All Night/LWWY music videos and fell in love again (with my best guy friend and that didn’t work out either). I lived my life and healed from the broken person I’d been. I was my own person with my own personality. I made these friends on my own, I worked up in my job on my own, I lived on my own. I saw my ex every once in a while when I went home to see my family but mostly it was more of laugh than painful.

And then my best guy friend moved away. I went back to school and had to leave my friends. A close friend of ours died in almost the same way Liam did about five years and 357 days before he would. My friend died about 4 months after I stopped his first suicide attempt that left me with severe PTSD. Liam’s death hit me like a punch to the gut. They fell from the same height, I didn’t know if Liam committed suicide but I was instantly taken back to the moment I’d found out that my friend had passed. I spent two years barely sober when my friend died, I put myself in bad situations, I didn’t want to exist anymore, I felt like the biggest failure on the planet.

The third year was the beginning of the pandemic. I never stopped when my friend died, I took a week off of work, a semester off of school and kept going. I never dealt with my feelings, I numbed them down until I felt nothing. So when the pandemic hit and I had to sit with everything that had happened and everything I’d done, I felt it. I started working out again, swam in my parent’s pool, got tan and started to forgive myself. It showed in my life, I graduated with my AA, got a bigger job and moved out again. I was happier and healthier for the first time in 3 years.

I’m ashamed to have forgotten how much those boys meant to me when I “grew up”. I’ve seen Harry a few times, and I kept the other four in my peripherals but out of sight out of mind. They all seemed happy and doing their own thing, like me, they weren’t my boyfriends anymore. Liam always had a girlfriend so I had no chance in hell, I went back to my parasocial crushes I had better odds with (delusional).

It took 1 second and the words Liam Payne died to send me back to 2013/2014 & 2018, arguably the worst years of my life. I spiraled instantly. I got about 8 tattoos in a week because I wanted to feel something painful other than the devastation in my chest. I begged my angels to take the pain away because I couldn’t do it again. I almost didn’t survive the first time. I couldn’t live with the fact that both Liam and my friend died alone. I went back to feeling like the biggest failure in the world, two people I loved died “on my watch”. Love alone wasn’t enough to save either of them.

It’s been a month and I am still devastated. I’m back in therapy and still on my meds, so the spiral didn’t last too long or get worse than sobbing for a week straight because I lost someone I’d loved dearly and had saved me from myself and healed my broken heart. I’ve been sober for almost a year, so that helped a lot and I’ve been working out again with a trainer since the beginning of this year, so I’m in a good place with my health. I’m almost done with my BA and I’m getting my teaching credential next year.

All that to say, Liam James Payne, I’ll love you forever and I’m infinitely grateful for the influence, experiences and happiness you brought to my life when I needed it most. I will probably miss you for the rest of my life, but I’ll help look after the boys and live with the same kind, thoughtful and loving spirit that you possessed.

I know it’s not the end, I’ll see your face again.

All my love, J.

[thelonelyshore-if]

Please, I need Croft sfw alphabet please

I need to know what has this grump secretly kicking their feet… for completely and totally innocent reasons (what? I would never use this information against them for evil…)

Here you go, Nonnie! Croft's SFW alphabet below the cut <3

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Not super affectionate, especially unprompted. They enjoy cuddling and non-sexual intimacy but rarely seek those things out on their own. They typically show affection by buying you something nice or infodumping c:

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Croft is a great friend if you're looking for someone who is a little mean and a little petty and who wants to just like. Drink wine and talk shit about strangers. But they're not really a warm and fuzzy type of friend. And if someone wanted to be their friend they'd have to be willing to put in the majority of the work on the front end–Croft would literally live in total isolation if left to their own devices.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

They do enjoy cuddling! Though they get overwhelmed when it comes to touch pretty quickly, so they can only spend so long doing it before they need their space. Their favorite ‘cuddling-adjacent’ position is sitting on the couch together with their legs in your lap c:

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

They would like to settle down, yes. They’ve never been all that interested in dating, and especially now they feel too old for it. Note–they aren’t. But they feel like they are. Croft is an excellent cook…but they’re very picky, so they really have to be prodded into making something out of their comfort zone. Their house is very cluttered, also, but it isn’t ever dirty. Just messy.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Eh, unfortunately Croft is blunt as hell. They wouldn’t soften the blow–they’d just come right out and say it. Perhaps with bullet points illustrating everything that went wrong. Maybe they’d bring a handwritten letter that really goes into the details. It wouldn’t be a pile-on, note. They’d be just as quick to speak on their own faults. Both parties would walk away feeling miserable.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

There is very little in this world Croft is less interested in than casual sex or dating. They want to settle down, yes. And they’d be willing to propose after a couple years of dating? They do want to be married quite badly, though they don’t want to do it until their parents can attend.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

As mentioned, Croft is pretty blunt. They’re more physically gentle…but that’s more hesitance than it is true softness. Emotionally they tend to keep their distance until they’re sure of a partner…and then they get quite attached. Still not the most gentle, though.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Croft doesn’t really like hugs and, as such, their hugs tend to be as fast as they can humanly make them. 

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Hmmm. I think it would be a reasonable amount of time? They wouldn’t hesitate to say it like some of the other ROs, but neither would they be quick to say it. A few months into dating, maybe?

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

They get decently jealous! They’re staunchly monogamous and also hate basically everyone, which means they can be prone to jealousy. They get icy and distant, keeping their partner at arm’s length, and then typically end up more frustrated with themself, because they can’t figure out why they’re so upset.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

It depends on where you are in the relationship. Early on Croft’s kisses are very hesitant, almost scared. Brief, fleeting, longing types of kisses. The longer you’ve been together, though, and the more sure they are of you, the deeper and more heated their kisses get. They’re not picky with where they kiss their partner, but they do love being kissed on the neck/collar bones/shoulders.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Terrible! Croft hates kids, fully believes the feeling is mutual, and does their best to stay away from them. They feel super awkward around children–they can never figure out how they’re supposed to talk to them. Do you just treat them like adults? Do you talk down to them? It’s annoying, and kids are loud and rude, and they’re better off avoiding one another.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Chances are you’ll wake up and Croft will already be out of bed; their hair up in a messy bun, a cup of coffee sitting next to them on the desk where they’re typing away at their laptop. They write, almost obsessively, and early-morning is a great time to do so. Once they’ve noticed you’re awake, though, they’d propose either going out or working together to make breakfast. And when you have your food they’d want to start talking through both of your plans for the upcoming day.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Croft often writes late into the night. Or plays Minecraft, lol. Still, they’re a bit of a night owl–despite their early mornings. They’ll probably have to be dragged into bed. Once in bed together they’ll talk your ear off, more chatty than usual. Trying to talk through where they’re stuck with their novel, or just infodump about something that’s on their mind. They enjoy curling up together and talking until one or both of you falls asleep.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Ohhhhh they’re a bit of a mixed bag. There are some things they’re very open about–even some things that they’re weirdly open about–but other things they hold close to their chest. It’ll take a long time for them to tell even a beloved partner some things…though it isn’t always logical. They’re perfectly comfortable talking about some of their traumas, for example, but will freeze up when prompted to talk in detail about their mom. It just depends.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Croft has little patience for foolishness, and they come off as almost constantly irritated. That being said, they don’t often get full-on mad. Usually they’re just frustrated or overwhelmed or annoyed. True anger is unusual.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

They remember everything about you. Except for what they forget. Which is my joking way of saying that it’s pretty touch and go with Croft. If it’s something they find interesting, or something they’re worried you’ll be upset if they forget, chances are they’ll remember forever. Other things–especially plans or little details–sometimes fall to the wayside.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

As with the other alphabets, I’ll hint at something in the future. Croft’s first date involves a trip to an antique store, and discussing some similar life traumas.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Croft is surprisingly protective for somebody who really isn’t all that physically inclined. Especially when it comes to the dangers Easthaven poses. How they would protect you is spoilers. They don’t really think of themself as somebody who needs to be protected, to be honest, but they’d be flattered if MC went up to bat for them regardless. So long as they didn’t feel like MC was treating them like a child or like they’re fragile.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Ehhhhh Croft isn’t the best with dates or anniversaries. They usually will end up dragging their partner to either a) something to do with a current interest, b) some rich-person bullshit that they grew up doing, or c) one of their three favorite restaurants. In the real world, that is. In Easthaven their date-planning prowess is even less impressive. When it comes to gifts, though? Oh, Croft is the best at gifts. They really tend to think them through, and they have the money to really go wild.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Writing or gaming basically all night long is a big one. Getting very little sleep, and then being even more grumpy than usual the next day. Drinking too much caffeine. Gossiping–which is especially funny, because they don’t care about most people, so they will quite readily talk shit to their faces. Also Croft has never really outgrown their childhood belief that money can buy anything, which makes this whole ~trapped in hell town~ thing all the more frustrating.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

I wouldn’t really describe them as concerned with their looks…but that’s mostly because they’ve spent a lot of time (and resources) becoming exactly who they want to be. They’ve got their piercings and their tattoos and those really make them feel steady in who they are. That being said, Croft doesn’t give two shits what other people think of their looks, other than maybe the person they have feelings for. They mostly care about feeling like themself.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Lol. Not really–not until you’ve been together for a long time. And even then, I don’t think Croft really thinks of their partner as part of them in that way. It would be a loss, sure, but not a loss of self. They’d still be complete…just desperately sad and lonely.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

They love the ocean deeply and miss it every day. The lake just isn't the same. As much as they hate Easthaven they can't claim it's all bad because they adopted their cat here and they love her a lot. They really love chocolate but can't stand chocolate-flavored things. Their badly dyed hair is an aesthetic choice.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Immaturity drives them up the wall. They find it remarkably unattractive. Croft takes themself quite seriously–too seriously--and somebody who is always screwing around or acting like a teenager would annoy the hell out of them. 

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

A big part of the reason they avoid sleep so much is to avoid night terrors and sleep paralysis. They suffered from them when they were a little kid, but both went away in adulthood…until they moved back to Easthaven. Also, they’re the sort of person who needs to sleep with like. 6 pillows.

[viennakarma]

wait also!!! (same anon as before hehe) i love the idea that in the forgiveness universe luna would find out from eavesdropping on a family member…..i lowkey love the drama of it all. i can imagine that happening during thanksgiving or christmas or some gathering like that and lewis’ dad is like has anyone tried the chicken 😀 and gathers everyone out of the house

if u have any other headcanons i would love to hear <333 i can’t believe one of my fav fics involves cheating on the reader HAHA but in both endings the reader gets her happiness so thank u for that 🫂

OR OR (I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS)

Luna had always noticed how her parents celebrated two anniversaries but she never gave it too much thought, because they’re parents (ew).

Would be kinda funny if she eavesdropped on someone during like a Christmas Eve dinner or something, and she doesn’t find out about the cheating straight away, instead she finds out they married, got divorced, got married again. When she asks in front of the whole family “what do you mean you got married twice????” And Anthony is like “well, who would like to go outside and build a snowman???”

Luna would spend a few weeks pressing her parents for answers, until she starts giving them the silent treatment and it’s when Lewis decides it’s time you and him sit her down and tell the truth. Cue to a big tantrum (justified tbh) and Luna not speaking to them for a few days. She will give them, especially Lewis, a hard time about it. I think she’d have a heart to heart with you and eventually understand that you and Lewis fell in love all over again after the divorce, you took a gamble in giving her father another chance and in the end it paid off, he never made the same mistake again and became the best father and husband ever.

[messymindofmine]

Fandoms and Marginalized Communities

Before I say anything, I want to make it known that everything I say, I am saying as Muslim WOC. I am also saying it as someone with a best friend who is the reason I got into Lone Star to begin with. This best friend is a gay, Jewish man who is also a recovering addict. One of the first things he said to me about the show was that it felt like TK Strand was written especially for him. However, my friend (who was in the fandom since the beginning) left a while back because he finally decided he was sick of feeling unsafe in the fandom. This was a feeling he had since the beginning that had gotten progressively worse.

As disappointing as it has been since s4 to see the way people turned on Carlos, I do appreciate how many people are calling it out. Even though I don't come from the same background as Carlos, I do know what it is like to come from a culture that pushes you into a heteronormative role and so I can empathize with Carlos on his reasoning for marrying Iris and then keeping it a secret even if I wish he had told TK sooner. But then of course he felt like he couldn't because when you have spent your whole life feeling like you could be rejected for revealing something about yourself, it's extremely hard to move beyond it.

That said, I do think it is important as a fandom to talk about reactions we have to characters and why we need to check our own biases. I'm not saying that people have to agree and love every single thing that Carlos does but we can and should give grace to him and consider why he is doing something. It is deeply problematic to assume that he is going to be a bad, neglectful husband the way people were prior to 5X05. Same with how people reacted towards him in s4. You can be upset about a character's decisions while also being compassionate about why they are behaving that way. To go "well they suck and are bad" and interpret every single thing they do with the worst-faith interpretation is deeply problematic when discussing a character of color.

I have been having conversations with the friend I mentioned before about all this stuff and one thing that he said to me that has stuck with me is how one big reason why he left the fandom was because he kept seeing people bring up the ableism TK has gotten since the start of the show in conversations about Carlos and racism and to him it felt deeply insulting because it felt like those people were just using ableism as a way to deflect from the conversation about Carlos and not because they actually care about the issue. Especially since so many of them are the same ones that never had anything to say about the ableism in the past and even indulged in it before s4 when they turned on Carlos. @paperstorm and I have also talked about this and how it's so frustrating that when a conversation is being had about racism, people who have never cared about ableism before will bring it up as a weapon. I do feel like it is extremely important to have conversations about ableism in the fandom because just like racism, misogyny and homophobia, it has been an issue in every fandom I have ever been a part of but bringing it up in the context of a conversation about racism towards Carlos is not the right time and only serves to diminish the seriousness of ableism as an issue. It is not a weapon to be used to deflect and silence people who are hurt by how Carlos has been treated since s4.

That said, I do want to acknowledge the frustration and hurt that I know a lot of people are feeling when it seems like conversations about Carlos are being had in a way that conversations about TK have never really been had. There are people who have talked about TK and ableism but those conversations have been on a pretty small scale. I get the hurt because I feel it too seeing big blogs talking about Carlos and racism and even unintentionally making it seem as though TK has always been favored by the fandom because he is white. I know that it can be hurtful to see people say that Carlos is only getting hate because he is no longer perfect for TK as though TK wasn't the one on the receiving end of hate since 1x02. It is important to acknowledge that Carlos was put on a pedestal right up until s4 and defense of him was done at the expense of TK. When 3x13 aired, people were outright accusing TK of cheating with Cooper and just generally hating on him because they felt he made Carlos sad by excluding him. This was actually deeply triggering for my friend because he is in recovery himself. Let me tell you, it was painful for me to see how much it hurt him seeing the way TK was called selfish and all kind of other things because it is something he has to live with on a daily basis in his own life. There have been so many times since the show first started that people have said things about how Carlos deserves better and how TK just doesn't love Carlos as much as Carlos loves him. How TK gets all the care and attention and he never does anything for Carlos. How TK gets special treatment from the fandom. All of these things and so much more. And then in s4, when these same people turned on Carlos and started using TK as a weapon, it became too much for my friend and he left the fandom. I know he is not the only one who did so for the same reason.

I just wish that people would understand that conversations about TK and Carlos can both be had and we can even talk about how bigotry towards different groups are ultimately the same in the way they are perpetuated. That is to say, it's not always they obvious ways of using slurs but in the way of microaggressions. I also think it is important when defending Carlos to not ignore the hate TK has gotten. I'm not saying we have to bring it up in detail in every conversation but simply just not making it seem like TK gets favored. There was a double standard against TK right from 1x02 and it's not fair to ignore that. Actually, even the way people weaponize TK is a big microaggression. To act like somehow he has no agency in his own marriage and that he is going to fall apart if he doesn't have Carlos' attention is a big microaggression because it leans into this idea of addicts being selfish and weak. The TK that exists in the show is the opposite of both these things and it is just as offensive to speak about him as though he is those things as it is to make Carlos out to be a terrible, neglectful husband.

Overall, we all need to be more careful about how we speak and write about characters. And even if our only intention for wanting a character to make a mistake is to maximize angst, we need to be careful about how we project our desire for angst. Wanting Carlos to mess up because the angst potential of it is exciting is still a microaggression both because it villainizes him unfairly and because it takes agency away from TK. The same applies the other way round too. Wanting TK to mess up for the sake of angst (as has happened) is also a microaggression because it villainizes him unfairly and it takes agency away from Carlos. When we talk about characters that represent marginalized communities of any kind, we need to take these things into consideration. We also need to listen to others when these issues are called out. If your response to someone pointing out something that is offensive is anger and deflection, that is on you. As someone who has been in this fandom since the beginning and has seen people leave because they feel unsafe for any reason, I don't want that to happen to anyone else. We can have fun and escape real life in fandom while also calling things out. We can also call out one issues without ignoring or minimizing others. I know it can be a hard thing to balance sometimes but the best thing for us to do when it comes to situations like this is to be open-minded and willing to learn and grow ourselves rather than lashing out at others for speaking up about something that hurts them.

[upsidedog]

i am so charmed by a lumax wedding because it’s not even something max thought would happen. like she assumed weddings were something the girl makes happen and the guy puts up with. and because she had no desire for one, so there’s no reason it would happen.

among other things weddings are an exorbitant and performative show of love, max loves lucas and she doesn’t care whether or not other people know or believe this. at it’s best marriage to her has been a representation of failed dreams and at it’s worst it’s been a tool to manipulate people who need to get away to stay. maybe they will get married for the tax benefits, she thinks.

this is until max and lucas are older and living together, they’re chilling on the couch and lucas mentions his family has been asking when he’s planning to propose and if that’s something max even wants? max doesn’t care, she doesn’t plan on going anywhere, a certificate won’t change anything and she's not crazy about parties. she doesn’t ask how he feels, he brings it up, that “actually i want a wedding.”

that is saying the least, lucas wants a wedding more than anything. he loves max and he doesn’t need to prove that to anyone, but he’s happy and he wants to share that with others! he wants to work with max to make marriage a positive thing to them, he wants to celebrate their love, everything they’ve been through. also, hell, he’s only human, he wants to show off! he wants to dress really cool and go to a really cool place and show the world know how awesome he and his girlfriend are. HIS WIFE!!!

most of all, lucas wants the moment near the end of the night, where the party’s getting loud and everybody wants his attention, but max asks if he wants to get out of there and he says yes. not out out, just outside the venue. it’s dark and the once booming music is now faint, they sit and catch up, complain about their families, laugh about their friends. max holds lucas’s hand and plays with his wedding ring, she whispers something sweet before asking him to dance. it’s the best part of the night and nobody will know about it but them.

suddenly max decides she wants a wedding.

[mc-critical]

1.10 / 1.09

[freedelusionshere]

Sorry, this is long, hope it's okay!

Carmy wants to desperately keep her there at the very least? He said the Michelin Star was a trap and went along with it anyway (because she wanted it). Syd later admits she's been his "accomplice" in S3, because he initially justified what he did with the excuse it was in pursuit of the star.

He couldn't even attempt any of that without all she had contributed to that point to begin with. But also, Syd is impulsive and will rush things, and we see him push back about that in S1 with the rib and risotto dish.

But then...he agrees to adding the to-go orders he didn't want. Did he do that as a compromise? I would guess so. When it blows up, he blows up, she tells him off, leaves, and when she comes back, he immediately makes her an offer and starts promising stuff he knows she'll want to do.

This will become a pattern of behavior with them both.

Carmy's behavior in S2? He doesn't really know how to build a restaurant, and under that time line? He knows how to work in one when it's up and running. But who did he promise that to?

Syd has more experience from starting her own business, even though it failed, she's the one writing the business plan. She brings in Nat to basically run business ops.

He fucks up their date/tour. Later, instead of doing whatever with Claire, he stays up all night drawing a menu to present to Syd! Telling her, "This is what you wanted" (when he knows it's not) but he's giving her an opportunity to tell him what to do, which she kind of does, but withholds her real feelings to keep it professional (in order to pretend she's not jealous).

Carmy's behavior is exactly like the story Emmanuel tells about himself and Syd's mom (who were "still getting to know each other"): Carmy is fronting about what he's capable of, and Syd ends up doing the work.

But at Friends and Family, Carmy loses his shit when he realizes the truth, which is Syd doesn't need him to complete a service. Also, by this time, Richie has told Syd that she is part of the family.

In S3, Carmy says he'll never leave Syd alone again, and sends her a partnership agreement without even discussing the contents, or allowing negotiation, and then presents a list of non-negotiables. It's him trying to stay in control because he knows he's running out of things to offer her to make her stay. Then...he promises her the star again instead of being wishy-washy about it and she agrees.

That partnership agreement is a test to see if she will stick with him or not, and he knows he's in big-time trouble because she doesn't sign it. He invites her to Ever's funeral dinner, and she gets treated like an equal among her peers, which, interestingly, is what she'd been fuming about, doom scrolling media pieces about Carmy the day before! Because at this point, they both know she's his equal and he's trying to dominate in the kitchen and she's not playing his game; she is the one really in control, not him. That is her kitchen.

Syd at this point has to know that when Carmy fucks up it will immediately be followed by him giving her something she wants. She is getting tired of it, though, because she was definitely considering Shapiro's offer.

They're like a married couple who are codependent, and breaking the cycle for her would be feeling safe enough to talk about how she really feels (this means treating her like she's really his partner). She has money problems that are completely acerbated by the way he's chosen to run the restaurant. He owes her several things, one is a sense of security (within the means he has) and doing the stuff he agreed to do with her in the beginning, even if it's hard.

Carmy always had the vibe, the vision for something new, and the idea of making the restaurant different. It was never Mikey’s idea—it was his. In a way, his dialogue mirrors Sydney's; they have that same desire.

As we know, after Mikey died, the restaurant became less about building something new and more about trying to turn back time to fix what went wrong between him and Mikey- maybe in a way to save Mikey and break the cycle? Then Sydney came along—a Chef who shared his original vision and understood that things had to change. She became someone who wanted to break cycles with him.

He says the right things—"our menu," or "I wouldn’t even want to do it without you." But what happens if he actually has to move forward without Sydney physically present? Would he be able to carry that vision on his own?

He wouldn't because, in 1x08, he doesn't even try and ultimately gives up when she leaves. He decides to keep things the same. Then she comes back, and he's ready to change again—but not because he has to save Mikey. He wants to break a cycle for her... so she could stay?

Maybe.

[oozeandgoo-art]

everyone is sooo in love with vakori on account of le is so cool and smart and deeply pragmatic and is also completely batshit insane

[whywontuluvme]

So i've been binging the last 3 episodes of Marry My Husbad.

When I tell you the plot had my jaw hanging wide open in the first half hour, maybe even 15 minutes!!!

I'm on team Jihyuk, but tell me why I'm kinda rooting for Eunho...he was so soft at the end of episode 3 aghhhh

^^my exact reaction whenever Jihyuk or Eunho are blessing my screen^^

[makedamnsvre]

recently ive been getting really sick of my neighbors i wish that i had a bunch of money so that i could buy up their houses and only let people i live live near me