#also if any of my mutuals saw me make this same joke on insta but with wii sports no you didnt <3

[lesbiancarat]

I can't believe they made baseball from hit seventeen song home;run a real sport

[fallingsunflower]

So, I guess here comes the Camille ☕️ (if you wanna call it that)

Sorry in advance this gonna be a fucking long one.

If you have any questions just ask.

I honestly don’t know if I should be impressed or concerned that my brain still remembers so much details about this shitshow. But I guess their plan did work in the end.

So you asked about Camille. I honestly don’t even know where to start with that one. I don’t know for how long you’ve been a fan of Harry and how intensively you stan him, but this one send my bullshit detector right off in the same way that Holivia does.

Can’t really explain it but I just smell if something isn’t right. It’s not only that way with Harry but in general. I just KNOW if something doesn’t add up.

The reason hamille wasn’t overdone and ppl believe it was bc it was marketed to be real. It wasn’t for promo in the sense Holivia is or to be shoved in ppls faces. The point was to have a relationship to fall back on when his album came out to be the “long term relationship” described in the songs. To have a certain narrative if you want to call it that.

They only were papped 2 (+the time at the Classic East concert.) They went to really popular places where you only go to when you want to get papped.

Other than that they only posted „sneaky fanpics“ which was on purpose to make them look „private“ but they were anything but that.

I actually had saved so much stuff as proof till recently when I deleted it all bc it honestly has been 3 years and I didn’t think I needed it anymore to help me explain lol. And please don’t make the mistake of looking up Hamille timelines, bc they’re all created by shipper afterwards so 95% of the shit is wrong, in the wrong order or they added the wrong pics to certain events. (If you want to look for pics, specific dates and stuff look them up individually and NOT through shipper pages or similar shit.)

Alright, back to explaining why it was so obvious. Disclaimer: I‘m just gonna point out the most obvious things but there is way more.

Harry started following Camille back in June 2016. They have several mutual friends (Waseem, Alexa Chung, Matt Hitt etc) so I assume they‘ve met before. She didn’t follow back though till shortly before the „relationship“ started. So after Harry followed her in 2016 she started to tag him in posts of her and her friends ass and did that video moaning his name while grabbing her boobs (classy 🤢). Shortly afterwards Harry unfollowed for a while and started follow her again before the mess began.

Fast forward to 2017. After doing „Dunkirk“ and about to bring his debut album out they started the first attempt at what I call a failed narrative with Tess. Not gonna go over that again bc one anon pointed out right how fake it was. They got rid of her rather quickly after she posted several times from his house which wasn’t the „private way“ they intended it to go.

So they were looking for someone to replace her. Cue Camille entering the scene.

Perfect person for the narrative as she’s half french (goes well with Dunkirk promo), is a VS model, have mutual friends and she has several ex bf who have written songs/albums about her. She’s the picture perfect muse for his second album.

Please let’s first talk about chemistry and body language bc I can’t even say how awkward they always were around each other. First the two pap pics from the sushi place and in front of the gym/ yoga place: both times both had closed off body language either crossed arms, Harry walking 3 steps ahead, faces didn’t look pleased at all and rather irritated or as of they just had a fight/ were in the middle of a fight (especially the pic from in front of the yoga place). No touching or anything involved in any pap pics. If you didn’t knew they were supposedly „dating“ you wouldn’t see it.

Let’s get to their behavior at the „sightings“: they weren’t seen much together outside of touring. But when they were seen we got pics in like 95% of the cases and people meeting them always said they didn’t seem like a couple (apart from shippers who made up shit about them all the time).

Even in every „sneaky pic“ there was as much chemistry as in Holivia -> none!

We got a few pics or even videos were you could see them backstage or besides the stage (e.g. 2017 Toronto show: while Muna is on stage Harry and Camille stand awkwardly 3 feet apart from each other, both closed off body language, not interacting with each other. You’d think as they were still in their honeymoon phase at that time and in private, seemingly not knowing that anyone could see them that they acted more coupley or at least would not stand there like 🧍🏻 🧍🏻. (Have you seen him interact with Xander while watching 1D’s opening act? Total opposite to Hamilel and they were „just friends“. Also in other pics Harry would rather cling to her bag / coat etc that he was holding so he didn’t had to touch her or anything. I think the only time we saw them „touch“ was that Classic east concert („relationship debut“) when he awkwardly held her shoulders and she was swaying weirdly. She even tried to touch him or get him to sway with her but he shot that down immediately 🤣. I could go on for longer but you get what I mean...

The next weird thing is, that she was down in literally the pit or sitting with „regular fans“ 97% of the time. Without Harry’s bodyguard around. Sometimes Jeff was with her but mostly she stood there alone. Everyone knew that she wasn’t really popular and liked around fans, so why would you put your gf in the pit with all the crazys or why would you as a gf want to be in the crowd at most shows when you could watch from the side of the stage or backstage? Also the fact that we always knew when she was at a show because she was always „spotted“ even the few times she was indeed staying at the side of the stage, she didn’t stay hidden. Sometimes we even joked about how she wanted to be part of the band or something by how close she stood there in the open. But whenever Anne for example was on tour or close friends of his or whatever they always had someone walking with them for protection and Anne never was like „in the pit“ like Camille. She never followed any of Harry‘s close private friends or family. Only people who she could gain something from. Like Lambert, Jeff, Teasedale, the Crawford’s etc. And she was never at any of the London or Manchester shows where basically all of his friends and family were. Even though she would have had definitely time bc she posted herself and friends doing nothing or trolling in LA all the time in that time. When she was at that show in Paris in 2018, she brought her friend who lives in Paris and her cousin I think. We got backstage pics of them all and Harry and Camille staying as far away from each other in that pic as possible. She was seen leaving as well after that show with her friends out through the main entrance. This was also the show Anne was at and an awkward hugging video of them both came out. Tbh it’s not clear where Camille and co were sitting bc they moved around the arena the whole night. At one point you can see Anne and Camille standing next to each other and all of a sudden Camille was „hugging“ Anne but Anne was so surprised that she was just standing there like 🧍🏼‍♀️ and waited till it was over (that „hug“ looked more like as if Camille tried to tackle Anne 😂). Also serious question and not to make it sound weird, but it deadass looked in that video as if Camille just waited for a sign to go for that hug and that it was being recorded. Because the way the camera was pointing at them all of a sudden and they were just lucky enough to catch that on camera? Yeah sure...

Not to forget, she didn’t seem to have a lanyard like for example Anne had, so everyone would knew that she could move around the arena and crew as she wanted which is fucking weird not to have as a girlfriend especially if you’re apparently on tour for many dates. This also mean she couldn’t join them when she wanted but had to contact Jeff or Harry before so they could give her a lanyards for that specific date or a sticker with AAA. Sometimes she wore a lanyard but that was literally the VIP lanyard that you got when you bought a VIP ticket like any other fan. Didn’t mean she could move freely around the venue. Even weirder is that she put that AAA sticker on the back of her phone after she left tour 2018 and placed it obviously in lots of her insta stories and posts on insta (one where you can see that sticker is still up). Fan behavior not that of a real girlfriend!

Camilles mum followed Hamille shipper accounts at one point and liked a post of them. After that shippers were unbearable. Which mum follows a shipper account on insta? 😬

What I also find weird is that she was barely working and when she did she posted only like 2 about it. I mean it’s part of her job to post stuff like that?! But she went radio silent more often then not to let fans guess if she was with him or if she would turn up somewhere.

Her friends who are all are well in their 30s or older made often „jokes“ about Harry or implied stuff about him or 1D and posted this on their stories and she was laughing with them most of the time... what a girlfriend huh...

Another thing is, she was never at his house in London. Because she was never at any of the UK dates besides that one gig he did for X -factor. They were not much in London at the same time. And when she was alone in London or with her friend, they literally stayed at an AirBnB or a hotel. So I ask you, why would she as his gf of a few months not stay at his place while she’s in the UK? Or that one time when she was in the UK making it look like she was waiting for him coming back from tour in Asia and he stayed extra long there (a week or two) even after tour in Asia finished and she was in London. But he went rather out partying in London. I don’t blame him.

When she was at his show in Milan (2017) she met a „fan“ and they took a selfie in the restroom (classy 🥴🤐) during the concert. Idk but this is one thing which is really questionable bc people were speculating she was at this show but we hadn’t gotten pics yet. So that she then took a pic with a „fan“ coincidentally seems really fishy to me. Also that said „regular fan“ had allegedly floor tickets as you could see in the videos and pics she posted in the beginning of the concert. But after the pic with Camille she all of sudden appeared on the balcony as well, close to where Camille and more VIP guests were. So how did she end up there if she didn’t have connections or was told to take a pic with her so then being on the balcony was her „reward“? To add this woman was close to Camilles age so this scenario makes just less and less sense the longer you think about it.

In May she was still on tour with her then bf in Tokio. In July just two weeks before they were seen together for the first time that awkward Grimmy interview happened. Where he specifically asked about her. And Harry said he „ didn’t know her“. Fucking weird to bring up such a private topic on radio and then be seen not even 2 weeks later. (Not gonna argue on that one, it’s the same like the wedding weekend pap walk just more subtle).

Then there were so many pics of him backstage at that concert, pics with fans, official pics, „sneaky fan sightings“ in the audience... He looked rather uncomfortable holding her shoulders while she was dancing. We know Harry goes often to concerts but when did we ever get so many pics from one? Mostly it’s a blurry pic of him or one backstage pic with the artist, not like the ones we got and certainly not that many. Plus we got an relationship article the day after.

Funny is also how he was on vacation in Muskoka with the Gerbers and Anne at the end of July 2017 shortly before the first spotting of Hamille and Camille no where to be seen.

Now I‘m gonna point out inconsistencies and such might be in chronological order, might be not.

I think the next time we saw them was a „sneaky fan pic“ (just the two of them) without a source from Beverly Hills hotel at lunch. Her friend Lauren posted a instastory being at that hotel right then and there and deleted the story like 5 minutes afterwards. She wasn’t in the pic of the „fan“ so my bet is she was the one taking the pic.

Coming to the stunt props. The „ring“ he was suddenly wearing on his pinky was from Camille. She only wore it once for a photoshoot in 2013 and then all of a sudden she wore it in every story she posted for the next 2 weeks right BEFORE he was wearing it and literally made such a show out of showing that ring that it was so cringey to watch at.

Not to forget his Pink Floyd shirt that was featured in his Rolling Stones mag interview that she not only wore but posted a few instastorys with showing it up close so every Harry fan could identify it from the distinctive holes in it.

Funny was the times she wore „his necklace“ and again posted several stories wearing it and even went to an event with it that Kendall wore before. After people pointed the connection to Kendall out, she never wore it again 😂😂 Harry being papped leaving a gym while wearing Camilles ex shirt was peak comedy.

Camille making a post saying „goodbye“ to her friend Lauren before Christmas in a really distinctive fur coat. Then New Years dinner pics with Jeff, Camille and co came out. Harry looking bored as always around her. Then the weirdest thing: he took fan pics while holding Camilles distinctive fur coat in his hands in every fucking pic. And it wasn’t that cold to wear a fur coat! Why couldn’t she hold it herself while he took the pics or Jeff or put it on the chair beside him? That wasn’t really slick of them.

Then Camille having a girls trip to Corsica and literally posting so fucking often being girls only in cars an what not. Harry was in London out with Mitch and was also seen on other occasions so I assume he went to Corsica for maybe 2 days max to get pics in. (Her cousin/ goddaughter of her mum posted a pic with Harry in Corsica in 2018 from that time). Mind you they could have just „dating“ for maybe 5 week’s max at that time bc they were never at the same place at the same time before maybe late June, and that’s when Robin died and he was home so I doubt that’s when they met. I assume 1.st proper meeting was in early July or after the Grimmy interview.

Harry filmed the Manchester special for his album in Manchester literally right before he went to HC with Camille. Yet Grimmy, one of his best friends at least at that time, never followed her or hung out together.

The next thing is her being in Holmes Chapel. She hinted at it on insta, like she did EVERY time she would be around Harry. Also appearing in every pic of him in the background when she was around. Even posted a story of random people with Harry’s voice in the background. That’s also a point why it was so obviously fake.

She posted in a train and captioned it with something like „England ❤️“ and then a cow (similar to Olivia with the hedgehog and caption) and then appeared in every pic we got of him that weekend.

She turned up to several of his shows, yet NEVER to his hometown shows (neither London or Manchester) where all his family and friends were at. She also only followed people beneficial to her career like Lambert, Jeff and co but never anyone of his real friends or family even though Gemma followed her after Christmas 2017 (which was taken as the „proof“ that they spend Christmas in HC🤦🏻‍♀️ and we got this photoshopped pic of Hamille which turned out was an old pic of originally Harry and Gemma. Glenne also never followed her and Camille was also never seen with Glenne it was only ever Jeff around and people noticed that (probably why we got now the joyride etc including Glenne).

Ok so what do we have next? The charity gig where his mum celebrated her 50th bday with everyone wearing a yellow flower crown. Everyone besides Camille. She wasn’t invited and just was brought to them while Harry was already singing a song, Gemma looking annoyed in the video her friend posted. Before Harry’s set was over someone came and took Camille with them again while Anne, Gemma and co stayed in the crowd. So why was she even going to them and didn’t stay backstage if she clearly wasn’t invited to celebrate with Anne and co and left before Harry even finished his set. We got also pics of a bday dinner with Anne, Harry, Gemma and all the friends from the concert but without Camille. This was also the gig where he was groped on stage.

After that charity gig in late October Harry went to tour in Europe. He stopped wearing the ring and seemed happier than before somehow. I went to the Cologne show and let me tell you, it was fucking nuts! His energy and the way he was smirking all the time not to forget Kiwi twice.

You’d think Camille would have been quiet now on sm that Harry wasn’t around, but it was exactly the opposite! It was like as if she had to remind everyone that that „relationship“ was still „on“ after he ditched that ring bc she was literally unbearable on insta. We got her and friends singing SOTT on karaoke (while she was wearing the Kendall necklace like mentioned previously), then she did a whole photoshoot (sorry but that’s just what it was) with her friends Djuna + Nik whit a very distinctive blue totebag Harry was carrying around just a week or two before while meeting fans in LA and she did the same thing like she did with the ring and posed with that bag in every angle. As if all that wasn’t enough in the space of 3 days she then celebrated Halloween with her friends and 2 or 3 of them wore costumes that reminded of 1D and Harry. All this happened between his cologne show and Halloween. Trolling at its best.

Then Camille decided to turn up to tour in Europe but she didn’t choose days when he actually had time off (even though she evidently didn’t do anything in LA besides trolling the last few days) so she decided to pop up when Harry had shows back to back and needed to travel to them as they were all over Europe. He had two more Berlin 7.11. and an event in London on the 6th) before she turned up on 8.11. in Amsterdam where she met Ella his cousin who followed Camille then (but Camille never followed back), 9.11. Italy x-factor, 10.11. Milan , 11.11. London X-Factor). He clearly didn’t have any time then which gets even more ridiculous if you know that she was back in LA by Monday the 13th the latest bc a photographer „exposed“ her being on set early that day. So why did she even bother turning up to tour that time when she could have done earlier and be at his homeshows?

Another thing is, when Harry went to NYC at the end of January 2018 to perform with Fleetwood Mac he didn’t take her instead he took Jeff and Xander was there as well. But no Camille. Right before was one of the rare times they got papped. Harry as always looking irritated around her. And them looking as if the soccer mom collected her son from practice😂

On his b-day her friend Lauren posted Camille chilling at their home reading and hanging out with her. Harry was officially MIA but a good friend of mine actually saw him while walking her dog the next day in Hampstead rather covered up with another guy (assuming his trainer or PA) trying not to be seen. She is not a huge fan of Harry and only knows him bc I‘ m a fan but she texted me right away saying something was weird about how he was trying to not be seen.

And on cue allegedly someone (real estate Agent from London) said he was on her flight to London over a week later (even though I knew he was already there for a while).

So the last time they were actually seen together was the day they were papped (I think that was even the day of the Grammys).

Then the thing about her quitting smoking bc she was „ dating“ Harry 🤣🤣. The way she even lied about that. She posted a video and made a few instastorys throughout that year to say how long she didn’t smoke at that time „bla, bla, bla“ and Harries ate that shit up. She was caught so many times lying in regards to that. Her friends and co were the ones to always expose her accidentally. She appeared in so many stories in her friends stories were she smoked a cigarette and not „just“ a juul like she always liked to pretend (not that a juul would be any better lol). Harry probably didn’t like it when he had to be around her for longer periods of time and she would smoke around him or smell of smoke so she had to pretend she cared for his sake and quit publicly. To say is also that she publicly started smoking again after she came back from tour end of March/beginning of April 2018.

Now speaking of the big tour in 2018. Camille seemed to had joined tour again at some point. She was at the Paris show like mentioned earlier but then only joined tour 2 dates or something later in. Someone „exposed“ her of staying with friends in each city she went on tour with at that time instead of staying with him. I think he also got fed up with her bc Harry & band + some of the crew went to museums in each city. But of course Camille had to post something every time they were at a museum and so it didn’t take long till fans caught on and turned up en masse in these museums so he couldn’t go there anymore. I would have been pissed too if I were him. And girls who’s dad is the director of one of the museums did meet Harry at the museum and he invited them to the show and backstage. These girls said Harry and Camille didn’t look or behave like a couple at the museum, he was mostly around the band and she on her own. And backstage the same thing. She was kinda just there and nothing more. Not long after that she left tour and only turned up at the Ireland show and then later the NYC and LA one.

Speaking of the Ireland show, that must have been the most awkward thing ever. I saw a few videos from people who did constantly film the side of the stage and she is staying alone there with the sound guys while Mabel was performing and Harry was standing backstage with Jeff and the band, watching Mabel and preparing for their prank they did on Mabel.

Twice Harry is walking past Camille and didn’t even acknowledge her. She was once again just standing there. You could almost feel bad for her, but only almost. Then he went to prank Mabel on stage with the rest of the band and was so affectionate with Mabel something you never saw him be with Camille.

After that show the trolling did turn down a bit for a while but like 2 days before the concert she posted a Mick Jagger pic and everyone knew she would turn up in NYC. And she proved us right bc she posted about being on a plane the minute she stepped foot in said plane 🤦🏻‍♀️. At the show itself she was in the crowd/pit with with Xander, Waseem, Matt Hitt & Jeff but Jeff had to fetch her again a lanyard at first for that day bc she still hadn’t one although allegedly „dating“ him for nearly a year at that time. You’d think she had one for the whole tour but nope. And after the concert Harry was once again out with friends while she stayed with another friend in NYC. Between the NYC and LA show she was seen being cosy with Alexander Skarsgard and then her now bf Theo Niarchos. To the LA show she turned up with Djuna, Nik and another friend. All of them sat up pretty high in the nosebleeds while Kendall and co where in the family and friends lounge right above pit. And Camille and co left a little earlier before the show finished and left through the front entrance. Suspicious is also that the „break up“ was announced like exactly on the year mark of the start their „relationship“. Sorry that I wrote so much. And I probably still missed a lot but I hope it’s gotten clear what I mean.

I'm still reading this through but wanted to post for those asking about it!!

Thank you!

[percabethfeelsfandom]

Would I be friends with these characters in high school (HOO)

Piper- 

Call me judgemental but I definitely would not like piper at first. The whole stealing for attention and the kinda internal misogyny we have going on isn’t a great look....BUT I know after a conversation with her I’d love her. Specifically mark of Athena and Blood of Olympus piper. I don’t know but something about her in those books. Where she really becomes her own person and not “Jason’s girlfriend” or “the daughter of Aphrodite”. I also think she’d be great in discussions in class, and an absolutely amazing partner for class projects, like she’d really try to think outside of the box and present creatively. Which I appreciate. 

Frank-

Nawww frank. As much as I adore his character, I don’t really think Frank and I would interact or cross paths too much. The only time I can probably think of would be while I’m in student council and he’s also there because he’s helping Hazel who is actually a member of student council. But I think as he gets older he'll definitely grow into the role and find himself as school captain. But I’d be long graduated by then, so our paths really wouldn’t intersect. He’d be super enthusiastic about helping with events even though he isn’t officially part of the council, and I will always vibe with that. HOWEVER, Nico, Frank and I would definitely geek over mythomagic together, no questions asked, it would be our own thing. 

Leo-

Okay so. I’d probably be annoyed with Leo. I’m sorry but yeah. I genuinely don’t mind class clowns, but he’s the type of class clown that still knows what’s going on and that irks me, especially in classes I don’t get. And the ones that Leo would really shine in are the math and science subjects...my weak points. (Also Leo is definitely the type of genius kid to skip a couple of grades hence why he’d be in my class). So if he’s messing around while I’m trying to concentrate I’m gonna get a bit peeved. Any other class I probably wouldn’t care. However outside of the classroom, and him being in my friend's group I’d absolutely vibe with him. We have super similar humour...as in we both use humour to deal with trauma. And I think that would be a great bonding experience for the two of us. Also he’d definitely unintentionally be like top of some of his classes, so similar to Annabeth, the three of us would probably get together at one point and try to study, but both of their ADHD (and my possible undiagnosed ADHD?? Idk I need to talk to my doctor lol) would make it a pain in the ass, but we’d get through it. 

Hazel-

As with the other people around her age in this list, our paths wouldn’t really intersect a lot. But because I know she’d be the type to be in student council, I’d see most of her then. She’s a very well spoken, articulate and extroverted person, so I don’t think even I could ignore her social butterfly charisma. And she’s an absolute sweetheart who eats bullies for dessert so of course I love her and would be friends with her. But she’d be a school friend, not like a friend friend. Like if I saw her at the shops I’d say hi and stop and talk for a bit, but I wouldn’t make plans with her to meet up at the shops...hopefully that makes sense. 

Jason-

Mr Jason Grace would also be on student council and I know for a fact that he’d probably let it get to his head. And I would absolutely despise him for it. Also. I think he’d peak in high school. (I said what I said). I’d only know him through student council and mutual friends (piper and Leo primarily). I don’t really see him getting along with Percy all that much, especially in school. But I can see him having a study group with Annabeth, which is probably where our paths would cross more. I don’t know what it is about him, but people who are very polished and who always try to seem put together set me off. I want to see them be human. And teenagers in high school are the most raw a human can be because that’s when we’re feeling the most things. But I feel like Jason would just be all smiles and greet people with bro fists and slaps on the back. And it’d freak me out because I’m a mess and he looks like nothing phases him. Idk I could talk more about my relationship with Jason but yeah I don’t think we’d not get along...I just don’t think I’d put enough effort to get along. 

Reyna- 

Oh yeah. I’d probably meet her on the sports team, (I played netball in high school). And we’d get to know each other through there and despite her being quite closed off, I think I’d still get along with her. But I don’t think we’d be close. For the same reason that I’m not friends with Jason, it’s apply to Reyna too. But I know I’d put in more effort with her because I’d probably develop a crush on her. She’s kinda my type. Like in netball in goal shooter and she’d be like goalkeeper, and since we spend a lot of time together in the game, we’d talk a bit. And I used to make really snarky comments about the players like commentary and stuff like in the sports games, and I feel like one day she’d smile at a joke I made and then she’d come out of her shell and we’d talk a bit.

(Read this in the context that I’m Percy and Annabeth’s age, so the age differences are all the same for me and the younger characters, these are also headcanons with a mortal au context)

idea credit/inspo @cabin11-hufflepuff @best_of_pjo (on insta) @ohmydamgods​ @rickriordanpjo (on insta)

[jungnoir]

could i request “s/he’s beautiful. i hope s/he makes you happy.” with lucas please and thank you!

like the kind of movie we used to hate;

wong yukhei | “he’s [great]. I hope he makes you happy.” ex!au. | 1.7k words. | angst.

a/n: I LOVE g.soul/golden, and he recently released this song which fits this so well. funnily enough, I started writing this before I heard it and I realized how well it worked, so here you go!

Were you satisfied with the martyr Yukhei made of himself for you?

There was a good enough chance the invitation ended up in his mailbox by mistake, or perhaps it was just a ploy to get him to send money in lieu of attending (money which he didn’t really have the heart to be giving out, rough times and all that), but whatever the reason behind the palpable surprise on your face, he was here. Wong Yukhei, the boy you’d fallen in love with before he’d fallen in love with you, not the boy who was still in love with you after you’d fallen out of love with him.

He jokes around with your mutual friends, most of them surprisingly paired up and two-by-two leaving early to be mushy in private, and he grins all toothy when you and your new fiancé stand at the head of the table to thank everyone for coming to the celebration dinner. He swallows down the expensive steak you both were paying for even though he hadn’t had a real appetite since he’d decided he would come, chasing it down with even more expensive red wine. He hoped he was reminding you of the person you almost married.

By the end of the night, he’s completely exhausted himself and knows he needs to go soon, so he announces his departure loudly to the table, earning a chorus of complaints and pleas for him to stay, and then he rounds around to you and your soon-to-be and gives you both quick, friendly hugs. He hugs you first, just to get it out of the way, trying not to nuzzle into your neck like he used to, and then he’s on his way to the men’s room to relieve himself of all that “rich ass grape juice”. That earns another round of laughs fit for a completely inconspicuous exit.

Then he’s leaning over the sink with cold water running off his face in rivets to wake himself up from this ugly dream.

This was so much - way too much - and why was he so stupid as to actually come? Was it his pride, wary of being wounded by the possibility of you taking his absence as submission? Maybe it was his friends who all pressured him to “get the closure he needed”, probably because he might not get an accidental invitation to the wedding. Perhaps it was both, or the unshakeable need to see you in person again.

He saw you online, of course. You both agreed to be friends and so he saw the Insta posts of you and your fiancé cuddling at his place before he muted your account. He also got the obligatory “Happy birthday!” “Merry Christmas!” and “Happy New Year!” texts you copy and pasted to everyone, of which he replied to hours too late under the guise of having been too busy to see when you’d sent it. That was it. He missed being able to look you in the eyes, and yet he barely did any of that tonight.

Someone enters the restroom and he immediately straightens up, grabbing a few paper towels to dab his face dry as he cracks a heartless joke, “Must be more of a lightweight on the good stuff than I thought.” The guy gives him a good-hearted chuckle and goes about his business. Yeah, this isn’t the place to have a fucking breakdown, Yukhei.

Gathering himself together, he tosses his trash and checks himself over once more. The collared shirt he wears feels so stiff on him and he just can’t wait to pull it off on the car ride home, so he pops open a few buttons at the top in hopes it’ll help him breathe a bit better. His eyes are just tinged a little red, but it’ll be fine. He can take the back exit out.

Just as Yukhei is leaving the restroom, he is startled to see someone in his way. He immediately apologizes for the close collision, not thinking anything of it with his gaze set on the exit. 

“Yukhei?” 

Oh god, he hates how quickly he looks back at you.

You’re standing there, hands wringing each other as you smile up at him albeit half-heartedly, “Sorry, you were about to leave. I won’t keep you.”

The stupid part of him that misses hearing your voice is what keeps him standing there, shaking his head and smiling gently at you. He shoves his hands into his pants lackadaisically, shrugging, “I’m not in too much of a hurry. Called an Uber. I’d just be waiting outside in the cold until then.” He’d ordered one twenty minutes before he’d even worked up the courage to say his goodbyes. 

Your eyes widen a little and you nod, “Oh! You know, we were just about to leave. I’m sure we could drop you off at home. There’s no need to waste the money.” 

Riding in the back of your fiancé’s sedan? He’d rather choke. “Nah, it’s ok. I’m… I’m actually headed somewhere else, so I wouldn’t wanna trouble you.”

“A party?” You inquire. You’re still wringing your hands.

“A friend’s place, actually.” He lazily smirks and hopes that you don’t ask who so he won’t have to make the lie any more intricate. 

There’s a slight dimming in your eyes when he says that. It’s so potent, the look on you that says you’re aching to ask, but you think better of it because you clamp your lips together in a tight-lipped smile. Tonight might be too much, but you weren’t looking to make it any more than it already was. “Ah. Got you. I hope you get there safely, then. Make sure you check the license plate before you get in and let m- your friend know who you’re riding with. It’s dangerous.”

How familiar a worry this was for you. He recalled a time when you were telling him to do such a thing with you. Apparently, you did too. 

“’course. I’ll be good. You two get home safely too, okay? Don’t get handsy behind the wheel.” Yukhei hopes that his joke is both the right amount of detached and friendly as he can muster right now. He’s got just enough energy to keep this up for a few more minutes.

You look a little scandalized, but humor him with a laugh, “Yeah, you know how I get on a few drinks.”

Rolling his lips inward to wet them, Yukhei gives you a nod and a hum, turning his body toward the exit. He just hopes that your fiancé won’t come over to collect you, put his hands on your waist, whisper in your ear and bask in the triumphant glow of being the one who you decided to marry. He doesn’t have that much energy.

You must become aware that he’s becoming disinterested in the subject matter, because you quickly start talking again, “Hey, um, I hope tonight was alright… I didn’t want to leave you out of this, you know? You… I love you, you know? I wanted you to be here, and I’d like you to be at the wedding too, but I don’t want… I think I made you uncomfortable.”

Oh, you thought that much? Perhaps you weren’t as heartless as he’d initially thought that day he’d received the invitation. 

Truthfully, there was a lot he could say right now. He was sure most of it you’d hate to hear but would feel so good coming off his chest. He was also sure most of it would get him kicked out for causing a scene, to which… well, as his patience wanes, he isn’t sure he’ll give much of a shit about. Most of it was for his phone, tucked away in notes that no one would ever read and that he’d hopefully be able to delete one day. 

It’s just… this one bit that slips out anyway. “I was surprised… but I’m glad you wanted me here. I… um,” a pained laugh escapes him, “I think you got a good thing going here, sweetness. He’s great. I hope he makes you happy. I promise I’m good. Missed seeing you is all.” His eyes are burning again, fuck. He really needs to get out of here.

“Oh, okay,” you whisper, having the gall to look conflicted over it for a moment, “yeah, I missed seeing you too. Seeing you and our friends tonight again reminded me of old times. I just realized how much I missed that, and how much I want it back. I’d like for us all to do something like this again sometime, maybe without… my fiancé.” Laughing, you shrug your shoulders. At the same time, the same guy from before walks out of the men’s room, nearly bumping into you. Yukhei’s hand leaves his pocket in hopes of pulling you out of the way, perhaps to him, but the man catches himself in time. 

“Oops, sorry.” The guy laughs towards you and then, finally noticing Yukhei there probably looking a right disaster, raises his brows and quickly excuses himself. 

To his great relief, Yukhei’s phone beeps in his pocket and he quickly fishes it out, practically crying at the sight of the arrival notification. He looks up at you and gives you a quick smile, “Yeah! How about you text me about it later? I’d love to catch up more. My ride’s here though, so I gotta go.”

Sighing, you nod, “For sure! See you later, Yukhei! Be safe.”

He mutters something of a response to that as he quickly pushes his way out of the exit, waving over his shoulder and jogging his way to the front where his ride awaits. With everything sorted, he climbs in the back and breathes the biggest sigh of relief of the night when the car pulls off. He’s even more relieved that his driver isn’t talkative, playing a low indie song over the speakers that thankfully drowns out his attempts at concealing his sniffling. If his driver can hear, he doesn’t mention it.

But it’s just the first night. If you weren’t pulling his leg, there’d be plenty more, and with each one, seeing you would get easier. Post-breakup friendships suck, but it’ll come with time. You’ve moved on already, he’ll follow along soon enough. Eventually, he’d stop hating everything. This was just the first night.

[thelowlysatsuma]

listen

i haven’t watched a dan howell video in literal years. my lovely friend b (coincidentally, the same person who got me into thomas sanders) introduced me to his channel back in – god, must have been the mid 2010s – when it was definitely still called danisnotonfire, and i watched the dan and phil vids like every other internet-addicted dumbass of my time. i was never a superfan like some of my buds, but i remember drawing the occasional set of cat whiskers on my face like everyone else.

up until about two days ago, my most recent thought on dan’s channel was “oh hey, he changed the name from danisnotonfire! wild.”, which, being honest, tells you exactly how little i’ve thought about the dude for a while.

yesterday, a mutual of mine told our group chat he had a new video out.

today, i watched his coming out video.

listen. listen. i’m, to put it simply: one lucky-ass son of a bitch. i am white. i am cis. i’m able-bodied, and i live in a rich country. most of all, i come from a hella accepting family and friend group, so when i told my parents i was bi, they were super chill with it, and i’ve definitely outed myself to friends through queer jokes before. if we disregard the brief, nebulous time from around grade 7 to grade 9 when i was frantically trying to figure out if i even liked girls or if i was just deluding myself, i don’t believe i’ve ever had a “gay panic” period, nor experienced any form of direct oppression or discrimination for being bi.

and yet.

i needed that video. i needed that video. i have queer celebs i look up to, yeah, but there’s something about not only the fact that dan was so open and honest about his experiences, both growing up and right now, that hit me hard, but something about the fact that daniel howell posted a coming out video was just. really important to me.

because this is dan howell. he’s quite possibly the gold star for “famous youtubers”, at least in my limited knowledge of the genre. he’s the guy who started with that embarrassing goddamn first video that he was so ashamed of he walked off stage when it was played at a con that one time, and he’s queer. for- for some reason, this is just different than following or- or knowing about a celebrity who’s already out. because he took all the things i’m scared of, or know i could or should or might be scared of about coming out, and he put them into words, and he empathized, and he said he was valid, and we were too.

i’m not out to. like. the general public irl. friends and family? yeah. acquaintances? unless they saw me that one time at the school carnival with the pride flag, not so much. i want to be, believe me. i want to be able to post the dumb “be gay do crimes” edit i made of myself on my personal insta, because it’s stupid and funny and i like it. i wanna be able to make gay jokes about myself without wondering if anyone is listening in. i wanna be able to talk about those times i did something dumb in front of a pretty girl with my friends at dance without lowering my voice but i can’t, because i’m just not ready for that yet.

coming out is scary. coming out is awkward, and terrifying, and literally sometimes a threat to personal safety. but i just saw someone who i genuinely did look up to when i was younger come out in public and tell the rest of us that it’s okay if we’re out, and it’s okay if we’re not, and that we’re valid either way, and that really struck a chord with me.

so thanks, dan. not sure if i’m gonna keep up this trend of watching your videos the day after i hear they’re out, but hell, with the update schedule you’re notorious for having, i might just be able to swing it. (jk jk content creation and upload schedules and fans feeling entitled to content by a certain deadline is a whole other can of worms that i’m not getting into right now lmao)

anyways, i’m proud of you for coming out. this video has inspired literally so many people, including quite a few of my friends. you’re a super brave formless entity, my dude.

and it also helped me feel, if not less scared, than a little less alone in my fear.

so thank you. thanks.

[rosaliafm]

     ⋆     𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑫𝑼𝑪𝑰𝑵𝑮 — alexa demie. she/her. cisfemale. | was that rosalia ‘lia’ cortez i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the twenty-two year old spends most of their time sales associate and cam girl , but i’ve always just seen them improving their makeup skills . they live in apartment 2D and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of early 2000s fashion modernized, colorful palettes, r&b playing loudly from another room. 

hallo, hallo !! i’m dani ( twenty-one & she/her ) and uhhh this rp looks so mf cute ?? anyways, this is my baby and i will do anything to protecc her, oh and discord is @ in the mood for love#5274 if you wanna shoot me a friend request to plot (-: 

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 : 

fullname: rosalia elena cortez 

nicknames: lia ( main one ), rosa, rosita 

age: twenty-two 

d.o.b: january 3rd, 1997 

zodiac: capricorn sun, scorpio moon, leo rising 

gender: cisfemale

sexuality: bisexual 

occupation: full timer @ h&m, part-time cam girl

𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂 : 

twt & insta handle: babylia

insta followers: 74.5k 

twt followers: 63.5k

𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 : 

baby phat, hoop earrings — the bigger the better, early 00s and 90s music, colorful makeup palettes, highlighted cheekbones enough to blind you, freshly manicured nails, risque fashion choices, late night shopping trips, jewelry for days, afternoon skies, shiny lipgloss, colorful alcoholic drinks, drinking red bull with a straw, binge watching series after a full shift, neon bowling alleys and rollerskating rinks, blue raspberry slushies. 

𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒓 : 

daytime: lia works as a full timer for h&m which is on university village, a whopping 15 minutes away from downtown seattle where the apts are located ( i had to google this because i work at h&m and i wanted to give lia a retail job ). she’s been working there for nearly three years now and there’s talk about giving her a supervisor promotion but lia is beginning to feel unsure about continuing her job there, knowing it pays the bills but she feels stuck. her shifts are usually in the morning, very rarely does she close. 

nighttime: she’s a cam girl ( think kat from euphoria ) and sells nudes/does sex work. it started when she was 17-18 with a private nsfw twitter where she charged 20 dollars a person to access it when she saw some of her mutuals do it and wanted in on making a quick buck. it grew from there, slowly researching her way into the business knowing she could make more out of her body because she knows she’s beautiful and she knows it’s good money. it took a lot of work to get her name out there, going under an alias of course, but now it’s been nearly 4-5 years since she’s been doing it and not only has she gained popularity within that world, but has a selective group of people she considers her favorites. she hosts shows every tuesday and thursday night. any other day or when someone requests, her she charges more and so on. 

𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 :

lia is a hustler, a bad bitch if you will. she’s definitely a good person at heart despite her resting bitch face and mean demeanor. she isn’t afraid to call you out on your shit. however, she doesn’t seek drama or start it without good reason. she likes to stay in her lane as much as possible, but you bet if you drag her name into things she will come for you. anywayss,  she’s an ambivert and can definitely adapt to her surroundings and people but if she doesn’t like you she doesn’t like you and it’s must be for a good reason or there will be a reason, she just gets weird vibes sometimes. she can definitely be petty, hold a grudge and ignore you for days or the rest of your life. but underneath all that she rlly just is someone with a big heart whos nothing but loyal to those she loves and if shes scolding you or raising her voice it’s really out of love ( and a habit she got from her mother ). definitely the drunk friend who takes care of her drunk friends unless shes going through it, then they’re definitely holding her hair back as she pukes into bushes. 

positive traits: hardworking, reliable, loyal, independent, confident 

negative traits: stubborn, blunt, insensitive, bossy, overcritical 

𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔 : 

lia comes from a single parent household, her mom raised her and her siblings all on her own and lia and her older sister come from the same dad, but not her younger siblings who both come from different men. her mom isn’t exactly the best role model out there but she loves her mom regardless whether they share the same views on things or not. they don’t talk as often now that she’s lived on her own for almost three years but she goes visit whenever she can, but it does put her at ease that at least her older sister is there to help her mom out.

she’s pretty popular on social media outside of her nsfw accounts, mostly on instagram for her pictures which gained her popularity on twitter, but she wouldn’t consider herself an influencer of any sort it was mostly her outfit pics ( 2000s inspired )  and funny tweets that put her where she is now. 

her home has colorful decor, with a hint of an 80s vibe and it’s the cutest little place and she loves how far it’s come along since she’s moved there. 

𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 : 

that’s some gang shit: aka a squad of maybe 4-5 people? they would kind of know everything about each other, have definitely been friends for years be it 2 or longer, they always go out be it the skating rink or the club or just mobbing all night long, but lia would do absolutely anything for them because they’re like her family. 

her bestfriend/soulmate: they’re also part of the squad connection above, but lia has known this particular person since childhood and they’ve been through everything together, from first breakups to first fights to backing up each other in first physical fights with whoever was talking shit. they’re basically soulmates for life. 

an ex on good terms: lia doesn’t date a lot because she knows she’ll eventually have to talk about one of her careers and she’s always afraid it wont work out, but this person they accepted what she did on the side. and they were really good for a while but you know, things don’t always work out but they remained amiable when they broke up, occasionally still text or send each other a funny meme, and joke around. lia didn’t want to lose them as a friend, despite the ocassional butterfly she’ll feel, she prefers this over nothing. 

frenemies: they’re really out here disliking each other for the most petty reasons but what can you do? when you don’t vibe with someone you don’t vibe with someone. however, i’m a sucker for this trop of enemies to friends.

favorite neighbor: they’re not exactly friends but they could be, they’re always helping each other out when they see one another. be it asking for sugar, or helping them carry groceries from their car. lia definitely enjoys their little chats, and it always amazes her that within those 5-10 minutes of interaction they’ve never once exchanged numbers and she always means to get it from them because she wants to talk to them more with how well they click but it’s always a next time.

the person who helped her create her site: unlikely friends too! lia needed help from someone who knew about websites and how to keep her content protected she put an ad on craigslist like 4 years ago when she started to go pro and ever since then they meet up for maintenance of it. lia considers them a friend, enough to trust them to view her content to make sure there’s no viruses being leaked or people trying to steal her stuff. it’s great too because this person always looks unbothered seeing what lia does on screen and lia appreciates it a lot because even her closest friends who know about what she does have never seen her page.

and that’s all i have for now ! i’m up for anything else just hmu ! 

[seriouslyhooked]

Lost Souls and Reveries (Part 3)

18 part AU written for @cssns​. Part 1, Part 2. Story available on AO3 Here and FF Here. Banner created by the amazingly talented @shipsxahoy​!!

Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to a future he is destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers, but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest). Rated M.

A/N: All right friends so this is another chapter that has a hard flashback, and honestly, since it’s from Killian’s past, it’s going to be more difficult for some of you than last chapter. For my most lighthearted readers, I want to give you the chance to avoid it because there is a lot of emotion, and mentions of violence. I didn’t tag it as graphic violence because it’s not super descriptive, but just want to warn people as it might be triggering. The flashback scene is in italics (though I also use italics in the scene after because there is a phone call). You can skip the flashback if you so choose and just ask me for the reader’s digest version (as some of you did last week) and then take comfort in the fluff that comes out after. For the rest of you who like the angst, or who torture yourselves with it already outside of my stories, I hope you will enjoy. That being said I appreciate you all so much for reading and I would love to hear what you guys think!

Pacing through the yard that surrounded his cabin in the woods, Killian couldn’t help but feel like all control was slipping away from him.

Since the moment he’d first seen Emma, there was an undeniable spark and a sudden awareness he was not used to. Never in his life had he reacted like this to someone, but despite the deeper instincts that told him that she was his true mate, it took really meeting her and feeling her skin against his to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that they were meant to be.

In any other situation, a shifter would be joyous on this day. To find one’s true mate was a gift that nature itself brought every shifter soul. Finding one’s other half was fated, written into the very fabric of a shifter’s being. As such, there were few in their community who went through life without eventually finding their someone. But Killian was a lone wolf now, and he’d put aside any ideas of a life with a partner to love and protect. He’d grown confortable in the solitude and he was well acquainted with the silence. Even in moments of weakness, when he’d felt how lonely his life had truly become, Killian never imagined this would be his destiny. He never could have conceived of this; that the girl he crossed paths with all those years ago – the girl he still thought of more than he should – would find her way back to him and that she would be the one.

For one thing, Emma was a human and that presented huge problems, the biggest being that this pull he felt and this intrinsic knowledge that she was the one might not be reciprocated. Killian wasn’t sure what Emma was feeling. Sure he saw that their attraction was mutual, and he could scent her desire when she’d been nestled in his arms yesterday, but he could hardly believe that he mattered as much to her as she did to him. Being his true mate meant that Emma was now his whole world, the best part of his life, the happiness shifters were promised and that he couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to have.

Even if Emma felt that way in return, those feelings would likely scare her senseless. Humans, after all, had no such fated customs. Oh they had concepts of ‘true love’ or ‘love at first sight,’ and of course they had well matched pairs who undoubtedly belonged together, but it wasn’t the same. The ties that bound shifter mates were unbreakable, the bond so strong it could never fade away. When mates came together as one it was a literal infusion of two souls. It was more than love in so many ways, and Killian was slightly terrified he’d give away all that emotion if he were to see her again.

Normally there would be no question of whether a shifter would seek out their destined pair, but for Killian things were different. Despite the fact that there was no denying Emma was his, Killian didn’t know if it was right to pursue her. His wolf was determined that there would be no life worth having without Emma in it, and in his heart Killian felt the same, but rationally he had to think this through. He hardly lived a life of constant safety. There was a reason he moved every few months and that he looked over his shoulder more than the average person. Was it right to bring someone into that? Yes, she was his mate, but would she want to be? If Emma had free will, if she wasn’t bogged down with the instinct that told them to be together, would Emma choose him? Could he even ask her to?

Unconsciously his hand rose to touch the space upon his chest where Emma had first collided with him yesterday, and though it was covered with the thin cotton of his well worn t-shirt, Killian knew what lay beneath. There was a mark there now, a swirled kind of insignia – the one that represented his shifter bloodline. It was an ancient symbol that might appear to be a tan tattoo to the untrained eye, and it was just more proof that Killian and Emma belonged together. Somewhere on her body Emma would have a similar shape where his hands first touched her, and Killian had spent all the moments of the morning when he wasn’t battling with himself trying to think of where he’d left it. It all happened so fast that he couldn’t be sure. The only thing he knew for certain was that he had a deep seeded need to see it again and to mark her more in other ways.

Wherever his imprint had landed, Emma’s mark on him was even more significant than it otherwise would have been. It was remarkable that she was his one and that she’d left a part of her with him to be sure, but in the process she’d also ended up healing a very old scar, one left as a bitter memory of the worst night of his life...

“Oi, you fuckin wankers! Get off the bloody street!”

The yell from an older bloke out his window into the busy London night might have been offensive to anyone else, but Killian took comfort in the grumpy, caustic ways of some of his fellow neighbors. It was a lost cause to be yelling at any passersby right now. The rugby match against Liverpool had let out only a few hours before and there were hours yet to be spent at the pubs for the fans. A loss might have garnered the people in this borough a quieter night, but as it was there was celebration to be had, and, as such, very little quiet.

“Well good evening to you too, mate,” Liam joked loud enough for the man to hear, pulling a laugh from Killian. “God we live among a load of batty people. Think it’s a human thing?”

Killian shrugged as he continued to chuckle at Liam’s feigned censure. It wasn’t a very common thing for Liam to give in to a good mood, but tonight Killian had enjoyed watching his brother relax. Liam worked too hard trying to help their Mum and Killian, and finally, after months of not giving himself any kind of break, their mother had had enough. She’d hemmed and hawed about how Liam was twenty-four years old. He should be out in the world, enjoying his life, making mistakes and learning from them, but that wasn’t Liam’s style. Killian knew it had already taken a lot for Liam just to go to one rugby game, and he didn’t imagine there would be more of such excursions anytime soon.

“Mum’s going to be disappointed, you know,” Killian said as they left the busier area of the bar district and headed back towards home. “I think she was half hoping you’d get me drunk and we’d roll in at four in the morning.”

“That was never going to happen,” Liam stated resolutely and Killian sighed, shaking his head.

“Of course not brother, because heaven forbid you break a rule.”

Killian wished those words had been more clearly said in jest than how he relayed them. It was true that Liam was more uptight than most people – many had even gone so far as to call him stuffy and repressed – but even if he didn’t like it, Killian knew there was a reason. Ten years had passed since they left their old life behind, but for Liam the memories of the existence they once led were far stronger than they were for Killian. All the same, Killian just didn’t understand why Liam allowed himself to be so affected. There had been no sign of their father or fellow pack-mates since they left, and they’d done everything magically possible to block the pack bond that would allow their father to track them, but Liam was still ever-vigilant. He took the protector role so seriously, and in every other aspect of his life he held himself to the same high standard. It was admirable, but honestly it was also exhausting and a bit alienating. It was difficult for Killian to feel truly close to Liam because of it, and Killian had often felt like he lacked the honor Liam embodied because following the letter of the law didn’t come so naturally to him.

“Rules exist for a reason, Killian. You’d -,”

“Do well to remember that, I know I know,” Killian said on an exhale. It wasn’t worth getting into a row with Liam about it. They just saw the world differently, that was what Mum always said. She also said that was perfectly okay – the world needed differences of opinion, and their family was better for having them.

“Things will change for you in a few months. When your first phase comes, you’ll understand the gravity of the situation. With secrets like the ones we carry, rules become a blessing.”

Liam had been feeding Killian the same line since Killian was thirteen and first started rebelling against some of the expectations in his life. On the first full moon after his eighteenth birthday, he would make the final connection with his wolf and he’d be able to shift for the first time. When that happened, Liam believed Killian’s restlessness would fade and his temperament would grow milder, but Killian doubted that. He’d been dreaming of the day he’d finally come of age since he was old enough to understand what he was. He couldn’t wait to roam – to run free as the animal within. When that day came he wouldn’t crave restriction and guidelines as his brother seemed to think. He would finally know what it was to live, and he wouldn’t limit himself, not for one damn moment.

“If you say so, broth-,”

Before Killian could get the word out, Liam’s arm shot out in a signal for Killian to stop and go quiet. This was something his brother had done hundreds of times in their youth, but there had never been reason for it since they came to England. The sense of foreboding that crept over Killian was sharp and uneasy, and then he caught the scent – another shifter was nearby, and the smell was sickeningly familiar. Their father was here – he’d found them.

“Mum,” Killian whispered and before Liam could stop him he broke into a sprint, running the rest of the way to their home. He’d never moved so quickly in his life but his body wasn’t his own. When he made it to the house his heart dropped – the front door was broken open but the lights were all out. Killian’s blood ran cold but he stepped forward only to have Liam hold him back.

“Killian, no. You stay behind me. You understand?”

Killian must have given some indication that he would listen as Liam led the way, and as they moved into their once safe and serene home, Killian felt like he was walking through a nightmare. The house was trashed, with no corner left untarnished. It was obvious that no human had done this and evidence of animal activity was all over the place. Claw marks bore into the walls, bite marks marred furniture and trinkets along the way, and their mother’s delicate, pastel décor lay broken and shattered on the floor.  

The further inside that they moved, the more Killian’s dread increased. The house was still now. There was no sound, no sensible living presence anywhere that he could sense, so by the time they made it to the kitchen and found the scene of their father’s final crime, Killian was devastated but not exactly surprised.

Things from there were simultaneously hazy and crystal clear. One second grief washed over him and just as quickly he felt like he was being ripped apart at the seems. Somehow the trauma of what awaited them detonated Killian’s shifter instinct before it was time, and as he crumbled to the ground he transformed from boy to wolf. Once in that state his mind was wracked with the sharpest sense of pain and this all-consuming fear. He was completely out of control and all he could think was that he had to run. He had to get out of there. He’d find his father and he’d kill him for killing her. But before Killian could make it much farther than the front door he was tackled to the ground by another wolf.

Killian, you have to stop! his brother pushed in his mind, but Killian didn’t know how. He felt totally consumed by his animal and he had no idea how to do this. Liam had only told him the most rudimentary things about shifting, he hadn’t even really started his preparations and he had no ability to tame the instincts that were driving his world right now. You’ll expose us if you keep going!

Killian didn’t give a damn if the whole bloody world knew what he was. What did that matter when their mother was gone? What did anything matter? All that mattered was avenging her death. She couldn’t die without justice. She couldn’t have been hurt that way and their father go free, but where Killian had an unyielding need to fight, Liam was still stronger.

I don’t want to hurt you, Killian, Liam said at one point when the fight was already lost. Liam held Killian down in a stance where he couldn’t break free, but still Killian struggled. He fought and he fought, and just as he was about to let out a howl of pure frustration Liam’s paws dug in further. His claws pierced skin where they lay just above his lungs and Killian let out a low whine. The physical pain was terrible, but it was the only thing that proved enough to break the spell he was under. One second he was a wolf and the next he was back to himself, though his chest was bleeding from where Liam had punctured skin.

“I’m sorry,” Liam said, his face white as a sheet after he shifted back. He’d looked shell-shocked when they found their Mum, but now he was even more disturbed. “I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I –,”

“She’s gone,” Killian whispered, ignoring his brother and the blood that spilled from his wound. “She’s dead. He … he killed her.”

“Killian, we have to clean you up. You’re in shock right now but I hurt you badly.”

“We have to kill him,” Killian said, ignoring Liam’s point. “You know that don’t you? He has to die for this.”

“Killian -,”

“I’m going to kill him, Liam!” Killian yelled, the mania of the moment having not faded in the slightest. “I’m going to kill him for taking her like this. I don’t care about your rules – I don’t care about pack law – I’m going to find him and I’m going to end him.”

“We both will,” Liam whispered, and though the promise was soft, Killian knew it was honest. “But not tonight, Killian.”

“But we have to -,” Before Killian could continue Liam interrupted, his voice stronger now and his tone absolute.

“You want to take on our father, brother? You need to learn how. He’s the alpha of the strongest pack in the Americas and he didn’t get that way by luck. He’s animal first, barely a man anymore, and he’s got skills you couldn’t dream of yet. I promise you you’ll get your revenge, but I won’t lead you to your own slaughter. We wait until we know we can beat him, and in the meantime we run. We have to go before he decides to come back and finish the job.” …

The shrill sound of a ringing phone pulled Killian from the memory, and it took him a minute to realize the phone was his. It should have been obvious since he was out here in the woods alone, but he used the damn thing so infrequently that he never got quite used to it. There were only two people in the world who had this number, and as he accepted the call Killian already knew which one would be calling.

“What’s going on, Ruby?” he asked, hoping in spite of himself that his cousin wouldn’t hear the lingering shakiness the memory left behind.

“What’s going on? Seriously, you’re asking me that? You’re the one who found your true mate, Killian! When were you going to tell me?!”

Killian sighed as the fingers of his left hand came to rub at his temples. He loved Ruby as his cousin and his best friend since they were young, but her gifts always seemed to show up when he was least in the mood for them. Without fail Ruby knew when something big was going on with Killian, because that was what happened when your cousin had a father who was shifter and a mother who was a witch – you ended up being the focus of her prophetic, wolfy powers. Usually it was a mild annoyance, but today her added response to the new twist in Killian’s life wasn’t exactly ideal.

“Clearly I didn’t need to.”

“Ugh, Killian! Just because I have visions sometimes does not mean you don’t call me when important stuff happens. You know I’ve waited a whole week for you to call -,”

“A week?” Killian asked, surprised. “I only met her two days ago. You knew I was going to find Emma and you didn’t tell me?”

“Well of course I didn’t tell you. If I did you never would have gone to her. I couldn’t risk that. I mean you’re already questioning it as is, can you imagine if you knew before hand?”

“I never would have come,” Killian confessed, a sense of shame rising in his chest as he did. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but if given the choice back before he’d actually seen Emma again, Killian would have avoided attachment at all cost.  Now though he felt sick at even the idea of having never found Emma. Even if he dreaded the darkness he could bring into her life, Killian knew he wanted her and that he always would.

“Exactly. And we couldn’t have that. She’s your perfect match – your mate. You, Mr. ‘I can’t have anyone, I have to go it alone’ have a mate! It’s like a freaking miracle! I swear Granny almost passed out from joy when I told her.”

“She’s human,” Killian said, his mind wandering back over that complication. He’d never heard of any shifter with a human mate. It simply didn’t happen.

“She is?” Ruby asked, surprised. “Huh, I didn’t get that in the vision.”

“Well she is,” Killian said, his heart hammering in his chest just at the thought of Emma’s status. As a human she was weaker, more vulnerable. It scared the shit out of him, and his animal was anxious to go find her again and make sure she was safe. Still he remained where he was, fighting off the urge.

“And you’re what? Disappointed? Seriously?! Who gives a shit if she’s human? She’s your mate!”

Killian remained quiet at Ruby’s outburst. He understood her reaction, really he did. It was something that merited celebration instead of fear. Finding his mate should make him the happiest shifter alive right now, but where he felt that sense of freedom and completion at having found her, he also felt the weight of the unknown. This wasn’t a black and white, cut and dry situation. It had to be handled with care, and he needed to keep his wits about him, as hard as that was.

“Okay, that was bad. I shouldn’t be yelling. You’re anxious about it I get it, and I didn’t call to make things worse,” Ruby asserted, completely undermining everything she’d done since he answered the phone.

“Really? That’s surprising,” Killian responded. Ruby sighed loudly.

“No. Despite what you think, Killy, I called to help you.” Ruby’s use of his nickname when he was just a boy showed the depths of her care for him. All criticism aside, Ruby was very clearly on his team and only wanted the best for him, even if she was more than a little pushy. “I thought you should know that I’ve seen what’s coming.”

“And you’re actually going to tell me what you saw?” Killian asked, curious as to what would prompt Ruby to do that. Usually she was guarded about the glimpses she had into the future, especially distant happenings. For her to confide in Killian was a break from the norm.

“Not everything,” Ruby replied. “But enough so that you know that there is no choice here. You and Emma belong together. In every version of the future I’ve seen it’s you two together in the end. Even if you run right now, the two of you will find your way back to each other, so you might as well just stay and spare yourselves the heartache.”

“You’re serious?” Killian asked, the hope in his voice ringing out clear as day. To hear this assurance from Ruby was a balm he’d so desperately needed, and knowing that no matter what they’d find their way to each other meant that Killian felt free to choose her now even if it didn’t feel fair to burden her with the baggage of his past.

“Mhmm.  You’ve found yourself a pretty determined mate, Killian. She’s gonna give you a run for your money.”

She already has, Killian thought to himself, or so he believed. He took it from Ruby’s giggle through the phone that maybe he had actually said those words aloud.

“I can hardly wait for all of this to happen. I haven’t been to a wedding in… well, ever really, and I get to be an Auntie! Well technically a second cousin, but we’re gonna call me an aunt. And there’s going to be a lot of little ones, so -,”

The vision of his future life that Ruby painted stole Killian’s breath away for a moment. He couldn’t put into words just how sweet a dream it was. To think that he and Emma would find all that together brought him hope he’d long since lost. He wanted nothing more in the world than to call her his wife and to cement the bond that mating would provide, even if they knew so little about each other right now. Time would no doubt strengthen this feeling that she was the one, so to think of them sealing their union and starting a family together filled him with a sense of need and want that threatened to wear down all his self-control. But he had to get a grip on himself and on Ruby before she pushed him right over the edge.

“All right Ruby, I get your point. Just… give me some time. Please.”

“You can take all the time you need,” Ruby said happily, knowing she’d won and that he would now stay and try and make this work with Emma. “Just remember, every moment that you wait is one you won’t get back.”

Confident that she’d done her job and pushed Killian back on the path towards his true mate, Ruby said that she had to go and get back to Granny. Killian asked her to say hi for him, and Ruby promised she would, also informing him that she’d be in touch again soon. But as he put the phone away and he moved back outside, Killian’s mind was stuck on that final insight from Ruby about time and the risk of wasting it. Right now he was hesitating about which path to follow towards the future that he wanted, but in doing so he was denying himself precious moments with Emma. He knew that seeing her would make him happy and that being in her light, even if just for a moment, would be worth anything in the world. So why was he still here, wasting away the day when he could be with her, trying to make her see him as he saw her?

With that guiding thought in mind, Killian set out from the cabin and turned on the senses he’d tried dulling through the day. The best part of knowing his mate’s scent now was that tracking her was easy, but with Emma he hardly knew what to expect. He was aware that thanks to her many friends and close-knit family that it was very likely she’d be with other people, making his approach that much harder, but he hoped that somehow he’d time things right to find her alone. He’d take Emma anyway he could get her, but the idea of them having a moment to themselves prompted a swirling sense of rightness in his heart, the one that felt an awful lot like happiness, something he’d gone without for quite a while.

Making his way through town, the faces that passed him were a blur. Everyone was kind, everyone greeted him with a friendly ‘hello’ or ‘how ya doin?’ and Killian did his best to reciprocate, but he couldn’t linger. He couldn’t bear the thought of spending his time mingling, not when he knew he was getting closer and closer to his Emma. By the time he’d made it to the little park where she was, his whole body hummed with anticipation. Then the moment came where he spotted her on an ivory colored bench under a massive willow tree, lost in the pages of a book, and it felt like he’d transcended to a whole new kind of heaven.

Seeing her sitting there, bathed in summer sunlight as her golden hair cascaded over her shoulder, Killian felt like he was seeing Emma for the first time all over again. The intensity of emotion that washed over him just being this close was amazing. It never stopped feeling like the world was alive because of her, and like he was finally awake enough to feel it when he was in her presence once again.

It struck Killian as unbelievable that he’d been able to go on this long without her. Obviously she’d been too young for his wolf to know they were destined for each other back in Boston, but since finding her again he felt the weight of their separation ferociously. Despite what he’d said to Ruby before, about not coming back if he’d known he’d find his mate, Killian knew that choice would have come from pure ignorance. Before arriving in Storybrooke he could never have conceived of someone like Emma, for to know her was to love her and to want her happiness more than anything else in the world.

As if she sensed him staring at her, Emma’s eyes moved up from where they’d been taking in the words upon the pages of her book and immediately found him. The high he felt as she looked at him was heady, but it was made even more powerful when he saw the reaction his appearance prompted. Excitement overcame her, her smile was genuine even if it was shy, and Killian could hear the increase of her heartbeat from here, tapping out the same frenzied, frantic pace that his danced anytime she was near. Every part of her reaction called out to him, and as if he was compelled to move forward, he closed the distance between them until he was right beside her.

“Hey,” she greeted, somehow walking the fine line between cool and collected and slightly timid at the same time.

“Good morning, love. I hope I’m not disturbing you.” Killian tilted his head, motioning towards her book, which he realized was a copy of The Princess Bride.

“No, not at all,” Emma said, motioning for him to sit down. “I’ve read this book a hundred times already.”

“I saw the movie when I was just a lad,” Killian replied with a smile as he took a seat beside her, leaving only an inch between them. Their air around them crackled with energy, and though it was cool for a summer day, Killian felt his temperature rise at his closeness to Emma. “Never got around to reading the book. How do they stack up?”

“They are both brilliant, but I think I like the book the best. Thus the constant rereads.”

“And the bookmark.”

Emma looked down at the marker for her page and a beautiful shade of pink tinted her cheeks. It fascinated Killian to watch for multiple reasons, none more so than the fact that this blush didn’t come from embarrassment. There was nothing to be ashamed about in having a bookmark covered in buttercups, and when she looked back up at him he saw the truth in her eyes. Her flush had come from interest in him and from pleasure. She liked that he knew this tiny detail of her favorite story, and Killian swore to himself right then and there that he’d learn everything that made Emma similarly happy so he could see this look for the rest of his days.

“What can I say? When I like something I go all in.”

“No half-assing it for you, love?”

“Never,” Emma replied with a laugh.

Killian grinned at the easy conversation and the humor in Emma’s voice. She was so exuberant, so full of a light that was infectious, and Killian didn’t think it had anything to do with the fact that they were true mates. This feeling of goodness and serenity was all Emma. Her brilliancy and brightness was organically of her making, and he wanted to revel in it as long as he could. The only problem was Killian had fast become tongue tied, and though he had a million things he’d like to ask her, no words would form.

“You know I was hoping I would see you today,” Emma confessed, not seeming to be bothered by his lack of ability to add more to their conversation. Her admission shocked and delighted him.

“That feeling is entirely mutual, Emma. In fact it’s the reason I’m here.”

“You mean to tell me that you braved town just for me?” Emma asked, teasing him even as her thoughtful green eyes told him she was desperate to know the answer. Instinctively he reached for her hand, taking it in his and the rush that came when their skin made contact almost drove all coherent thoughts from his mind. Nevertheless he pressed on.

“Aye, love, and I would do far more for a moment in your company.”

A minute passed between them, charged with all these words they both left unsaid. Instead his thumb grazed across her wrist and their eyes held. It was the sweetest form of torture, having Emma so close and knowing what this was between them but not being able to act. He had to keep his instincts to go faster tamped down and let Emma lead the way. It was the only way this would ever work.

“It’s the craziest thing…” Emma said as she blinked and shook her head, looking back out to the park for a few seconds before she returned his gaze. “I feel like I know you already but we’ve only just met.”

Her words were intoxicating to Killian as they symbolized that Emma was feeling the same pull between them. She didn’t know what it meant, of course, but it was glorious to hear her put the feelings they shared in such a way. Her bravery astounded him. That she would be so giving and so honest was amazing to him, but he had to be wary of saying too much. If he allowed himself to confess all that he felt she’d likely call him a mad man, or worse, run from him, neither of which he could ever survive.

“Sometimes that’s how it goes,” Killian said lightly. “Or so I’ve been told. I’ve never felt that way myself. Not until you.”

Emma’s smile told him that he’d made the right choice in the end, and he was damn proud that he could bring her any kind of joy. It felt like he was king of the whole bloody world, and he was so drunk off of the pleasure of the moment he failed to notice that they were no longer alone. Despite his usually unbeatable awareness of his surroundings, it took a few seconds for Killian to realize that there were two women standing across the park and watching them closely. He recognized them from his walking about town yesterday, and he believed they were friends of Emma’s. That suspicion was then confirmed when Emma followed his gaze and spied them herself.

“Oh crap. I’m never gonna hear the end of this,” Emma said with a sigh, and though Killian wanted nothing more than to ease her burdens, he knew stepping in would only make things worse.

“Friends of yours?” Killian asked as he reluctantly pulled his hand back from hers, already missing the connection between them.

“The best. But they’ve got that look – I better go talk to them,” Emma said as she grabbed the bag that was at her side and stood up. Killian did the same, wanting to prolong the moment as long as he could. His mind grappled with a way to keep her longer or to secure another time for him to see her as soon as possible. But before he could find an answer, Emma offered one of her own.

“Do you like coffee?” she blurted out, and though it was an innocent question Killian could tell Emma hadn’t actually meant to say it aloud.

“I do,” he responded, intrigued at where this conversation was now going.

“Well the town diner has really good coffee, surprisingly enough. It’s nothing fancy, but…”

“But the best coffee rarely is,” Killian finished and Emma nodded. She looked suddenly flustered, as if she was embarrassed by the fact that she’d been about to ask him on a date. Her eyes flittered between him and her friends in a show of her growing nerves, so Killian stepped in to fill the role he’d been wanting to take on since he found her here. “The thing with coffee though, is it’s all about timing. I defer to your expertise, love. What’s the best time for a coffee in Storybrooke?”

“Eight fifteen,” Emma said with a relieved smile, before she clarified. “In the morning. Not at night.”

“Right then. Well I suppose since we’re both in the know that I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, love.”

“Good,” Emma replied, her lips curling up in a beatific smile that made his heart ache to take her in his arms and whisk her away, friends be damned. Instead though he stayed as he was and watched as she departed with a final goodbye. “See you tomorrow, Killian.”

“Aye. I’ll see you then.”

Post-Note: Hey all – so hopefully you’re still with me and enjoying the story. I know that the flashbacks have been hard, with Emma and Killian both having really difficult moments in their pasts but the backstory actually is important to the present story for CS and the rest of this AU where things from the past will come back at different points. That being said, I’ve promised fluff and I hope that I have delivered. We’ve got a good dose of insta-love and pining here, and though there are interruptions (god I hate those pesky friends sometimes!) it’s that same kind of cuteness I love to write in all my fics. Hope that you guys enjoyed and have a great rest of your weekend!

Tag list (if you’d like to be added just let me know):@jennjenn615 @winterbaby89 @kmomof4 @teamhook@coliferoncer @ultraluckycatnd @resident-of-storybrooke @snarkycaptainswan4 @artistic-writer @allofdafandoms-blog @eastside-divebar @snowbellewells

[queencassiopeia6]

Take me back to the night we met

I had some big plans for that Thursday morning. I washed up, did my make up, straightened my hair and “casually dressed up”. My friend (let’s call her O) who had been out the country for the first time was coming home around midday, and I was rsponsible for picking her up. Well her boyfriend (let’s call him A) and I, but we weren’t well acquainted at that moment, we knew who we were, but not well at all, let’s just say that we knew what the other one looked like. I thought I had done a rather good job and looking nice that morning and with a smile I locked up the apartment, while stuffing my ear buds in, blasting my fave playlist and loading my new sunglasses onto my nose. A few moments later I had one of the biggest brain farts ever, that day was a national holiday and I didn’t check the bus schedule nor the route changes. I waited for almost 50 minutes at the bus stop before it hit me that I am going to be so late and it will be most embarassing, since I am supposed to be the responsible one in our friendship. When the bus finaly arrived I felt most relieved, all up until the conductor mentioned there is a route change due to roads being blocked off with the parade and the road will take much longer than usual. Was there a point travelling at all now? O might text me angrily while I am half way there and then it’s not much point driving further. I was beginning to sweat down the back of my neck. The slower the bus went, the more I breathed withmy mouth open, my lips went so chap (matte lipstick wasn’t any help either) that I began to gasp at some points. Thank God I am most always prepared for just about any disaster and had my giant water bottle with me, my chapstick and the wrist bands that I spin when I begin to panic. Which wasn’t all necessary since the moment we hit the highway - we jumped to hyperspace like the trusty Millennium Falcon. I got there with quite some time before her flight even landed and oh boy was I extatic no one saw my epic failure.

At first I didn’t wanna catch up with A, I am no good at akward conversations, and since him and I only hung out a few times prior to that day and she was always there to handle most of the conversation - you could see why I wasn’t all too keen on looking for him in the Arrival Zone. “O’s my friend, and they’ve been together for a while now, I gotta give this my best shot, for her sake”, that’s all that was repeatedly going on inside my head as I looked for a lanky blond fella. Spotted, looking just as elegant as ever and with a giant bouqet - damn my girl has some decent taste. Surprisingly A looked insanely relieved to see me, he left his seat to run up and give me a hug (almost took my head off while at it), I immediately felt better, his opening move gave me the reassurance that great minds think alike and that he too would like to have less space between us as friends. Turned out A’s been here for over an hour cause he’s just as tardy as our mutual target and was worried so much that he’s gonna be late to pick her up that he left the house hours in advance! Laughing about A’s mini nervous breakdown blew all the awkwardness that was ever there right out the window. The time flew right by, and before we knew it - O stepped out the gates and handed her suitcases over to us. After we exchanged pleasentries, we loaded into an Uber and drove to O’s place first (even though it’s the far far away of our town), which was actually a smart move since A began his work shift a few hours after that and he wanted to be manly and move everything from the cab to the apartment so we wouldn’t have to struggle with it later. While we unloaded, O quickly freshened upand oredred sushi to A’s work (which was our frequent stomping ground and we’ll call it LS) as we hopped back into the Uber to take him there to work and us to chill and catch up.

O and I had a lovely time smoking some excellent sheesha that A made us and munching on sushi as we talked about her time abroad and all the crap I got myself into whilst she were away. A’s coworker sat down with us at one point as him and I got properly acquainted (as we used to be less acquainted like I were with A) and had a lovely chat about some strong flavored tobacco (that I to this day can not handle). There was a booking on our table coming up and O offered we visit another place (Let’s call it LBB), where her frenemy (let’s call her M and they’re frenemies cause they dated the same dude at one point) worked, since O promised to stop by and if I were okay with it - we could chill there for the rest of the day. I didn’t have any plans that day not any clue to anything better to do, so we oredred another Uber and away we went. There was a small group of friends already there, all friends-of-friends and most were more that well acquainted with O. I met a funny but rather dramatic friend of Ms (let’s call her L) and their coworker, an eccentric young man (we’ll call him D). M immediately got my insta and followed me. The rest of the night was a tad of a blur, there was so much smoke, more sushi and loud laughter along with some intense personal stories travelling among the five of us. I too shared my recent ridiculous failure which brought much joy to everyone as not everyday you meet a 26 year old linguist with a kid of her own who just a fortnight ago fell off a scooter and is now a proud owner of a blue arm (just a wide haematoma) “which doesn’t hurt” but looks scary so I promised that tomorrow morning I will go and see a doctor (which yes I had not yet done, how irresponsible of me).

The next day, after my usual shift (from 8 to 2) I washed up, dressed up and went on a lovely sunny walk to the nearest Physical ER. Turned out the the place I was looking for was just a block down from LBB and I even thought about popping in to say hi, but as I waited in line to see a physician, thoughts about seeming clingy and being unwelcomed ate me up and I figured to better not show up uninvited. To be honest, this isn’t all that important to the story but I think it’s a quirky moment so Imma tell it anyway. The doc sent me to get an xray, explained to me that there must have been an air bubble or something that went inbetween my arm and shoulder socket when I blasted to the ground, and that’s why it were sore when I did certain hand movements. Also it turned out my elbow (which I had broken more than once while still young) had been twisted and that the haematoma was due to bone being shifted. He was shocked that I didn’t come to see him earlier. Offered me a cast, which I refused due to me not being able to do anything with it on. He put my arm back in place, prescribed me a bunch of drugs and told me to take it easy. I decided to walk the 8 blocks home since it was such a lovely evening. The sun was still high and shinning, it was nice and warn out and a fresh spring breeze was tangling my hair. Blasted some music and enjoyed an evening stroll.

The moment I got home O called me, “Get dressed, I’m coming to pick you up, we’re going to LBB”. Bro, if you had mentioned that an hour ago, I could have already been there, waiting for you. So we went. D and M were working their shift there and I immediately noticed that I didn’t pay any attention to a thing D spoke of last night, it’s like my brain had ignored him completely. Turned out we came here today cause it was D’s last day due to him travelling home (next town over) and paying his military dues. The four of sat and smoked and chatted and shared such good laughs, I was asked repeatedly to tell more stories of how I am the literal queen of distress, all the trouble I had gotten myself into over the years (boy trouble included). I was on the top of my chat game that night, I made jokes and flirted and at one point made D go into a hysterical laughing fit (I saw legitimate tears in the mans eyes), which was a tad awkward for a moment, as he was sitting next to me on the couch and at one point just layed on my knees while laughing. O and M, sitting on the couch across the table from us had an evil smirk on their faces. They whispered something to each while D was getting himself back together and then pointed us at one another and said that we have to get together now. Apperantly no one had yet gotten me to be so open so soon, and no one had made him laugh as hard as I had, ever. We all laughed over it and as O and I packed up to go home, I got his follow notification on my insta, kind of made me blush. On the ride to my place O mentioned multiple times how we’re a well made match (hey, we’re both phsycho) and that I should hit him up. But I am not one to do so, I would more likely die from a panic attack, than message a cute boy (yes I said it - I thought he was rather handsome and I just didn’t notice it before cause as I said I payed no mind to him the previous night) first.

The following weekend shall be a tbc :)

[dirk-valentine-lives]

#cluecrewquestionnaire

Questionnaire made by @detectively

rules: copy and paste, answer the questions, tag 10 mutuals to do the same!

1. What is your favorite Nancy Drew game and why?

My all-time fav would probably be Shadow Ranch, it takes place in my home state (so all the inaccuracies are especially hilarious, like everyone having a southern accent and 89 degrees being "hot") My other favorites are FIN, SAW, ASH, and DED.

2. Have you played all 32 games in the series? If not, which ones haven’t you played? If yes, which one did you play first?

Yes! My first one was MHM in 2001, followed immediately by FIN.

3. What is your favorite line from any character in the series?

Either something from Eustacia "You-are-not-dead-yet?" Andropov or Alexei in ASH after you say, "Not all politicians are corrupt," he goes, "Where's your youthful cynicism? Yes, all politicians." Or something like that. :P

Nancy's sass is especially strong in FIN, so those are all contenders as well.

4. If you could change the ending to any game, which one would it be (no spoilers, though)?

Eh, I always thought the ending to DAN was pretty goofy and unrealistic, but I don't necessarily have ideas off the top of my head.

5. Which game is your least favorite, and why?

SCK. Very unappealing locations/aesthetic. Kinda boring characters and plot. Also RAN because the puzzles just. Never. Stopped. Also, going back and forth fetching driftwood for a spoiled bird is not my ideal gameplay. The monkey activities got pretty old too if you're trying to get all the trophies and had to play infinite games until you die. :P

6. Which character is your favorite? Why?

I have a few, but Ryan Kilpatrick from Deadly Device is a big favorite. I can relate to her addiction to gummy candy and I like her cool charts and motorcycle :P Also, maybe Jenna Dublin. Her personality seems really chill. Plus she gives me free souppp.

7. Which character is your least favorite? Why?

Takae and Renate only for the simple fact that conversation takes EIGHT MILLION YEARS to get through because of their monologues. Also Lily because she is so bossy and entitled, she really rubs me the wrong way.

8. How do you feel about the whole Nancy/Ned vs. Nancy/Frank situation? Do you ship her with someone else? Who, and why?

I don't really ship Nancy with anybody. Nancy/Ned is cool, Nancy/Frank is cool too (I can be a sucker for the agony of unrequited love so maybe Nancy/Frank is something I could get into? Why do I like sad things lol)

9. Do you have any fun headcanons about any of the games or characters?

Some from SHA, but I won't share them here because they're going into my fanfiction I'm writing!

10. If you could visit any of the locations of the games, which ones would they be and why?

The Ryokan Hiei, River Heights in ASH (I am always a slut for Nancy's beautiful house), Shadow Ranch (Dry Creek, Cougar Bend, and Cliff dwellings?? Sign me tf up), Thornton Hall, and Blackmoor Manor (that conservatory!!!)

11. Did you read any of the original Nancy Drew books? If yes, do you like them? If no, would you consider reading one?

I haven't! I would like to read some, but I'm not sure where to start, there are so many of them. Would love recommendations.

12. What is one thing any good detective can’t live without?

Either a camera to take pictures when you're snooping/trespassing and can’t take things with you, or a notepad.

13. Which game had the best soundtrack?

Hands down, it's between HAU and SHA. The Irish-themed music in HAU makes me melt, and I love the ethereal guitar pieces in SHA because they're so befitting of the desert.

14. What is one thing you wish HER would’ve included in any of the games (a conversation, interaction, location, feature, etc)?

I haven't thought about it too much, actually.

15. Do you have any ideas for a future game? What is it?

Not really, maybe something with more of a Whodunit aspect like in the older games.

16. How long does it take you to finish a game from start to finish?

It really depends. A few hours, sometimes I'll drag it out for days if I'm trying to savor the gameplay :P

17. Did any of the games scare you? If yes, which ones? If no, why?

SAW was spooky, and so was GTH and CUR. The ghosts and the nightmare sequence definitely added to the feeling.

18. Why did you join the Nancy Drew fandom here on tumblr?

There are so many hilarious jokes and I like seeing all the URLs that are just inside references to the games. ND stuff doesn't fit on my main blog so I decided to make a ND themed blog! I have a lot to say about ND, and sooo many aesthetic post ideas.

19. What is your favorite Nancy Drew joke (from in-game or even floating around the internet)?

I haven't been in the tumblr fandom for too long so I don't have one yet!

20. Who is someone in the clue crew you’ve always wanted to get to know?

Again, I'm too new to the tumblr fandom but I'm looking to make friends :)

21. What are three unpopular opinions you hold about the games?

--I think DDI is a bit overrated. *ducks to avoid flying projectiles* I liked it, but the gloomy seaside aesthetic is so depressing to me. I don't like the ocean, beaches, or perpetually gray skies. Sand? Salt? Cold wind? Boats? Seasickness? No thanks. --The type or amount of puzzles in a game rarely affects my opinion of it (aside from RAN). I usually rate the games by the plot and the atmosphere. --I can’t stand Loulou or Coucou, those birds get insta-muted whenever I play CUR or RAN.

22. Do you have any fun theories about any of the games?

Not off the top of my head! May edit some in later if I think of them.

23. Who was your favorite animal character featured in the games?

Good Ole' Bob from SHA.

24. Do other people in your life know about your love for Nancy Drew?

My husband and two close friends. I usually keep it to myself :P

25. How long have you been playing these games?

Since 2001 when I was a wee child! My friend had MHM and FIN and when he started playing MHM he got so scared that he couldn’t finish it and passed it over to me to try and I was completely hooked.

I don’t have anyone to tag but feel free to fill out!

[letters-from-alex]

Dear Friend,

April 30, 2017

I almost forgot what it was like to feel wanted.  I almost forgot what it was like to feel important.  I almost forgot what it was like to feel appreciated.  I almost forgot what it was like to feel loved. I had forgotten all these feelings because I started to believe that they didn’t exist for me anymore.  It has been a while that I’ve felt any of these emotions.  Ever since my ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend got together, I thought I was ruined.  I thought I was never going to find anyone that could possibly like me, until I met someone new last week.  He’s been a good distraction, but he’s not just that.  He’s something more, and I really like him. It’s calming to finally not have people who constantly hurt you on your mind.  He’s been helping with that and I genuinely think he really cares for me. He’s not like the other guys that I was talking to - the one’s that were just using me for their sexual desires. No. He’s different.  His name is Taylor.  He has beautiful blue eyes, blonde hair, and a great smile. He’s taller than me (of course because I’m a shorty) and dresses well. He also grows a beard very nicely, but he doesn’t let it get too long - which I like.  He and I have been talking for almost two weeks now.  We met online via Instagram two Thursdays ago, and have been texting every day since then. I’ve seen him around school throughout the semester, but to be honest, I never got a gay vibe from him until most recently. Exactly one week before I followed him on Instagram, I saw him in the library at my university.  That was also the same day that I had an appointment with the school’s therapist at 2:00pm. I couldn’t stay in the library for long, since it was already 1:30 when I got there. I walked up the stairs to the second floor and started looking for my friends.  I noticed the cute white boy named Taylor with his two friends (which I found out later to be his twin brother and best friend) sitting at the table behind my friends. I noticed him staring at me, so I made sure to stare back. He needed to know I was interested somehow.  I got closer to my friends’ table and pulled out a chair across from my friend Aaron and his girlfriend Paula. They both greeted me with a “Hey Alex,” and Paula added, “You look so beautiful today!” She always compliments me, so I naturally responded immediately with a “Thank you,” and a big smile.  I finally sat down and tucked in my chair.  Next to me was my friend Angel.  When I was finally settled he finally turned to me, looked straight into my eyes with raised eyebrows. “Are you done?” he asked. “Yes, I’m done.” I rolled my eyes and refrained from laughing.  “WHAAAAT’S UP MAYNE?” he yelled. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I bursted out laughing.  “You just saw me over an hour ago! What could have possibly happened between that time?” He stayed quiet.  Instead, he laughed and shook his head.  “Come here, man.” He opened up his arms so I could hug him.  After the warm welcoming embrace from my friend Angel, I got comfortable in my seat and started listening into the conversation that was going on behind me.  Taylor was talking about his homework to his friends.  He sounded pretty feminine.  I looked at my friends in front of me, pointed in Taylor’s direction with my thumb and said, “Wow! He’s cute and he’s gay? That’s really hard to find here at school.” “How do you know he’s gay?” Aaron asked. “He is.” Paula confirmed. “He is right?!” I reacted quickly. “Wait, how do you know?” “I have him for class. And I can just tell from his voice. He’s gay,” she said. I was so overjoyed by this news.  It made me want to go up to him and just give him my number.  But I didn’t want to freak him out.  Instead, I purposefully went to the men’s restroom just so I could get up and turn around to see if he would look at me again.  I got up, turned my head, but not enough that my face was completely facing toward him.  I looked at him through the corner of my eye.  He watched me walk away.  When I walked back from the restroom, the same thing happened as when I first saw him.  His friends were gone this time.  He was just on his computer pretending to work. And just before I sat down we locked onto each other’s gaze.  I thought it was cute.  A few minutes pass and I leave again to go to my appointment with the therapist.  I didn’t want to come across as too desperate, so this time when I got up, I didn’t look at him.  This was the last time I saw him for about a week.  The following Thursday, I was really sad that I didn’t see him in the library again.  So I started complaining to my friends about him.  “I’m so sad! My library boyfriend isn’t here. Where is he? I’m so sad!” I kept complaining.  “Why don’t you just request him on Facebook?” Paula asked. “I don’t have Facebook remember? Plus I don’t even know his name!” “It’s Taylor! I’ll just send you his Facebook.” “Oh my god. That’s literally all I needed to know.” A few minutes later, Paula sent me his Facebook profile.  Under his name, it showed his mutual friends with Paula. Turned out that my other friend Sophia has him on Facebook too.  I was actually a little mad that she never introduced me to him and she knows how lonely and single I’ve been lately. I knew I had to have a talk with her about this boy when class started.  She and I actually sit next to each other in our Corporate Tax course.  Class was about to start, I walked in, and I see Soph sitting next to the empty chair that’s assigned to me.  I walk up the steps and sit next to her.  “So. Girl. Do you have any guys that you would like to hook me up with? Hmm?” I asked with a sarcastic tone. “What? No. I don’t know any cute single gay guys. And the one’s that I remember aren’t that attractive. You wouldn’t like them.” “Oh really. What about a white blonde one? Why haven’t you introduced me to that one?” “A white blonde one? I don’t have any friends that are white, blonde, and gay.”  “Oh yeah? Then who’s this?!” I slammed my phone in front of her with the picture of Taylor and her name under his profile picture.  “Oh my god! I forgot about him! Yessss! He’s gay. And yes he’s single. And actually,” she pointed at the guy next to him in the photo, “that’s his twin brother. He’s gay too.”  “What the fuck?” I was in shock. “Both of them are gay?” I wonder if they are the same size down there, I immediately thought.  I’m such a perv.  “Do you have him on Instagram?” “Yeah I do.” She started looking for him on her profile.  A minute later, she found him.  I looked at his username and copied it onto my Instagram search bar.  I found it.  It wasn’t on private.  I looked through almost all his photos like a stalker.  I wanted to follow him, but I couldn’t come up with the courage to do so.  I turned to Soph and said, “You do it. You follow him for me. Because I can’t do it.” “Really?” she asked. “Yes.” “Okay.”  I couldn’t watch her do it.  I would’ve changed my mind. Click. She did it.  I covered my mouth from wanting to scream. My heart started racing and my palms started to sweat.  I couldn’t believe I let her do that.  We just laughed about it for the rest of the class period and made jokes about how he wasn’t going to follow me back on Instagram.  It took him about forty-five minutes to follow back.  I liked one photo - actually, Soph liked it - and left it alone.  He didn’t like any of my photos.  Sigh... Later that day, I took a selfie so I could add on Insta later. That night - after I uploaded the photo - not even two minutes later, he liked my photo and sent me a message immediately afterwards.  “Hi :)” it read. “Hello there,” I responded. “How are you?” He asked.  “I’m doing well. What about you?” “That’s great to hear! Same! I just wanted to drop in and say that I think you’re really cute,” he said. He even threw in the thumbs up emoji.  Now I know he was really into me.  No, not because of the emoji, but because he actually was making an effort to talk to me.  “Thank you!” I accepted his compliment.  The messages were going on for hours.  I was in complete shock of how fast things were going.  He was so easy to get along with and we kept asking each other questions to get to know each other better.  He liked me so much that he said we should meet in person one day.  That’s when I realized that he hadn’t recognized me yet from the week before.  “Actually. I have already seen you in person! I’ve seen you in the library at school sometimes.” I confessed.  “Oh no. That’s the worst place to see me! I look disgusting.” “What? How so? You should be happy that I haven’t seen you eating like a fatty at the Union.” I knew I could joke around with him. I could see that he had a great sense of humor by the way he talked.  “I meant at school in general. Wait. Have you seen me there too?” “Haha. No. Don’t worry. I haven’t. Just the library.” “Oh okay! Wait. Did I see you last Thursday in the library?” “No.” I lied. “You weren’t with three other friends?” “No.” I lied again. “Oh… okay.” “Okay. You caught me. Yes. That was me! Please don’t think I’m a stalker or anything! I just thought you were really cute and I just had to talk to you and I didn’t know how else I could do that.” “Lol! I knew it! No worries! It’s fine. Actually, I’m really glad I sent you a message. I really like talking to you.” “I really like talking to you too!” If he saw me send that message, he would’ve seen how idiotic I looked with a huge smile on my face.  I bet I looked ridiculous.  After a few hours of messaging, I was brave enough to ask him for his phone number.  He gladly gave it to me. I texted him, and we continued to talk passed midnight.  We talked about so much for the rest of the night until we went to sleep. Days passed and we started to get more comfortable with each other - especially in person when we officially met for the first time. Over a week passed and we started to open up to each other - especially on subjects we didn’t really want to talk about, but we did it anyway.  We trust each other.  I’ve gotten to know him a lot better in this past week and a half. We have a lot of things in common.  We both play video games. We both have the same sense of humor.  We both like writing poetry. He likes the same music I do.  He enjoys late night drives with no set destination.  There’s just so much, and the list gets longer the more I get to know him. It’s almost too good to be true. The differences between us are just as exciting.  He is very responsible. He studies so much for school and seems really disciplined in my opinion.  He comes across as financially stable and apparently likes to save money. I admire him in many ways when it comes to those kinds of things.  I’m definitely not a saver, and I always choose socializing over studying.  I think I need someone like him to keep me in check.  I honestly don’t know what he thinks about me.  He says he likes me. He compliments me and tells me I’m cute.  He shows that he cares. But…  Like I said earlier - a part of me feels like he’s too good to be true.  Another part of me thinks that it could work out, but then I start overthinking. I start thinking that he’s too good for me. Or maybe that I’m a bad influence on him and make him lose focus on school. I don’t want to be that person for him.  I want him to keep focusing on school and his good grades.  I want to let myself fall for him.  I want to let him break my walls down. But that’s gonna be difficult.  Because after what my ex-boyfriend and ex-friend did to me, I rebuilt my wall with iron so it wouldn’t be so easy to crumble.  I don’t want to get hurt again.  And I’m scared to be loved by someone again.  Maybe he’s not the one, but maybe he could be. I think it’s still too soon to tell. I just know that I don’t want to be in a relationship right now.  I still need to heal.  I’m still broken. Not entirely, but still broken. In the meantime, maybe he can help me put some pieces of my heart back together. The pieces that weren’t taken from me. The pieces that need to be rebuilt, reformed, and shaped into a new heart.  One that is touched by someone who deserves a piece of my heart.  And if my heart is too small, maybe he can share a part of his with me.  Until next time… Love always, Alex

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Fake dating begins!

Janis: Grace wants to buy you a coffee for being such a gent. Janis: If I was you I'd have a freebie black and charge it to her tab. Her and her cronies are in there enough, and it'll save you having to endure a frappe/her and said giggling gal pals. Jimmy: Me and her or a group hang with the BBs for the 'gram? Jimmy: 👍I did that last week and the one before Janis: Depends. She obvs wants alone time with you but she's never passed up a #goals photo-op in her life, so. Janis: Can't be freeing the nip on Insta but maybe she's got a private snapchat she wants to whore out, you'll be well in then 👍 Janis: Christ. Good to know not ALL her money goes on Brazilian blow-outs, she's also topping up the salary of every hot barista in town, what a philanthropist she is, amongst other less favourable titles. Jimmy: If you can be arsed to 3rd wheel this I'll shout you something from the secret menu Jimmy: Which exists swear down and isn't just a invite to my snapchat Jimmy: Why am I worried Brazilian blow outs is a way bigger euphemism any day Janis: Hmm. As much as I try to avoid spending ANY time with Grace, for obvious reasons as you well know, it could be pretty amusing to see her make such a twat out of herself. And it would piss her off if I gatecrashed...Fuck it, I'm in. Janis: Don't get any ideas about making some taboo twin content though, lad, that only happens in the minds of pervy porn execs, and in weird old lady novels from the 80s. Janis: Lol. Yeah, it ain't a Cavante special. Its to make her look MORE white, funnily enough. As if the coffee habits and UGGs weren't making her a literal meme for the cause already. Jimmy: I'd rather down a strawberry açaí refresher with coconut milk every time Grace makes a gaff, which funnily enough is what necking with your sister's tall mate tastes like, than get sandwiched between the two of you Jimmy: I'd shout her a flat white if she'd get the joke though. One for each of them Jimmy: 😩 Janis: OMG, girl code, Grace sooooo saw you first, Tammy is gonna be out on her flat white arse when Gracie finds out, like 💀 Janis: The feeling's mutual, dickhead. Wouldn't put it past my sister though, she's more obsessed with me than she'd EVER be with you. 🤢 At least she'll be moving on when you finally give in and give it to her, I've got a life fucking sentence, mate. ⚰ Jimmy: OMG Minnie (??? Isn't that her name maybe) launched herself at me first and I'd be out on my penniless arse if I'd let her crack on over the counter ⛔ Jimmy: I like my encounters with a little less ego it's no crime. Or slight on you, mate. Jimmy: I'll tell Gracie that if she ever lets me get a word in. Janis: Fuck knows. All look the same to me. Ironic if it is, though, fucking jolly green giantess. Janis: And soz but sexual assault ain't no crime either when you're them though, they're just being #girlbosses swear down garda 💋 Janis: Good luck with that one, kid. Even if she gives you the chance, she won't be listening. Fucks with the fairytale where you shut the fuck up and carry her bags 'cept to call her pretty once in a while for said ego's boost. 🙊🙉 Janis: oh, and look good in the 'gram, standard. Jimmy: Could be what the lads call her... whoops Jimmy: Damn. I'll have to spoil her fun by letting it be known I've got myself a girl already. 🎻 Shame it'll take me years to find one who can stand the interrogation 💔 Jimmy: Gotta get Cass to keep her ear low. Effort. Janis: The 'lad's' secret is safe with me, the 'girls' are hardly likely to listen and I'm even less likely to bother to tell 'em. She'd just think #pussygamestrong 'neway so I ain't giving the bint that unwarrant stroke when you've all already been there, done that. Sloppy. Janis: Woe is, lad. Like everyone ain't on your dick rn 'cos you got that shiny, new appeal. Just pick one that ain't TOTALLY unbearable- ah, I see your problem. Janis: Sadly, I can't help, I ain't the massive lezza you've no doubt heard from the lads and girls alike that I am. Janis: Slim pickings either way you swinging, you see. Jimmy: You can help me then. Go on. Think how mad it'd make Gracie if nuffin' else Jimmy: Counter distance between us at all times if you want Janis: Aside from pissing off my sister, which I'm more than capable of by me larry, what's in it for me? You get her off your dick and back into Costa to cry it out, like Jimmy: Freebies of any of Common Grounds finest where you can also hang without her and her hangers on Jimmy: Semi trained mutt if I can wrench it from my sisters grasping hands? Jimmy: Plus an end to the rumors if you're arsed about that. You said yourself I've got the newbie appeal Janis: Alright, alright, you had me at dog! Janis: I won't deprive your sister but I could do with an AM running partner who can keep up. I'll wear it out and have it back to you at the end of your morning shift, before she's even had her weetabix or found her school tie. Deal? Janis: I'm down for writing our own rumours, why the fuck not, eh Jimmy: Done. Her name's Twix and she's as annoying as the name makes her sound. Jimmy: Get ready for rumors about how many bodies she's buried for you after all the holes dug Janis: Cute. And I'm sure I've dealt with worse bitches, I'm up for the challenge. 💪 Janis: Its always the dog walkers init, suspicious cunts. Jimmy: Yeah, and if you wanna bury a few of 'em yourself I'll keep my lips sealed Jimmy: Tomorrow too soon? Janis: Good man, you will if you know what's good for you. Janis: Though, not too sealed, gotta set this dump's/my sister's world alight, like, and I don't think that's happening if we just hold hands. 😲 Janis: Nah, I'm ready. Only thing I got scheduled is double chem and that can always do with livening up. Janis: How you wanna do this, lover boy? Jimmy: Point taken. I better work on my angles too. For the 'gram. Jimmy: With minimal cliches if that can even be a thing round 'ere Jimmy: Probably wouldn't believe it without 100s would they Janis: You best, I don't know how to work facetime, you've got the wrong twin there. Janis: Well, I could oh-so casually ask Grace if her and the bitch squad are going for coffee on the way home from hell (as if they don't every fucking day) and she will be buzzin' thinking I wanna come 'cos she's always asking/attempting to drag me like she's on a mission from the coffee bean gods Janis: Then we can be there, together, oh-so casually again Janis: Aside from sucking face on the playground (which is a little first school, even for these hoes) its the best way to get max attention and thus the rumour mill will do the rest Jimmy: Make sure Tall Tammy's at the back. Can't have Grace missing it Jimmy: See if you can get one of them to spill coffee on you too. Everyone loves a heroic gesture and a clothes share 😏 Janis: 😂 Brilliant. Janis: Assuming Grace doesn't straight up throw it at me, I'll be sure to make that happen. Janis: I'll probably come chat to you at lunch tomorrow too. Can't have this springing out of nowhere, like, how implausible! 😏 You hang with Sean Bryne and that atm, yeah? Jimmy: Yeah we'll be in the smoking spot if not our usual corner Jimmy: I'll slide into the seat beside you the period after make it look like we got it really bad 💘 Janis: 👍 twos up on the ☠ 🚬 then, lad. what could be more romantic? Janis: good thinking, grace is in that class too and she's hopeless with maths so she won't be paying the slightest bit of attention to anything but the absolute scandal Jimmy: What should I call you so you don't wanna punch me in the dick as soon as I go in for a pet name? Janis: Eurgh, good shout, even if it is just to save your own bollocks, can't blame a boy. I don't fucking know, what's not vomit-inducing but also #couplegoals enough to make it worth the hassle? Janis: Blah, just remember my name, yeah, that'll have 'em creaming. Such courtesies are not often extended their way, like. Jimmy: Deal. And I'll # everything #JJ so you can block it from your feed easy Janis: Solid. Janis: Imma take a picture with your dog tomorrow, it best be fucking cute. Jimmy: [Takes a selfie with Twix and sends it] Do you? Jimmy: Not my #goals but should spark jealousy with the intended Janis: Cute. Janis: The dog ain't bad either. 😉 Janis: I'm getting in practice Jimmy: I'll do mine in the comments when it's posted Jimmy: How keen is cringe in the eyes of Gracie and her friends? Janis: You're asking a mouthful there. If you're too nice, they'll say you're boring. But they've gotta at least pretend they're feminists in this day and age so if you are too full of the bants and low-key treating me like shit, they're gonna have to pretend they ain't here for that even though that's every boyf they've ever had, na'mean? Janis: Just say something confusingly inappropriate for what is not gonna be a hot pic, isn't that how you lads do? Janis: I'll set you up with a lame caption Jimmy: Thanks. There's back room access in it for you Jimmy: Again not a private snapchat invite Janis: Steady on there, not until the 3rd date, at least! 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Seriously though. You're not as much of a bitch as everyone says. Nice one. Janis: Well, don't be spreading that backhander about, will ya? Janis: You've got a rep to make, that's a bit of mine I'd like to protect Jimmy: 🤐

[suprcalifraglistcextintalcrisis]

Pretend This Is A Dumb Buzzfeed Article

I didn’t know where to post cuz I’d rather not have anyone I know read this. Especially if it’s someone I talk about in this story.

However, if you wanna read about a cringeworthy relationship keep reading.

My friend set us up by giving her my Snapchat so that we could talk. She told me that this girl (we’ll call her M) (I am also a girl btw) was down in the dumps and wanted to date someone, so she told M about me and showed her the only picture I have of myself on Insta (I take a lot of pictures of my dogs alright… and have no self esteem) and it is of me with a Christmas ornament hanging off my ear and me making a mock duck face. And I mean mock. I looked like Trump and his puckered asshole lips. And for some bazaar reason she said she was interested.

That day we talked over sc but my best friend got pisssssseeeeed (in all fairness I did start talking to this girl while we were hanging out). So already my best friend and the person that is my better half with much better judgment hates this girl. It didn’t help that the friend that set us up FaceTimed her with no headphones one time when a group of us were hanging out, staying in the living room while we were watching tv. M also showed up with our matchmaking friend and others at this park that was playing a movie that I was also attending with my best friend and a few others. However, matchmaking friend and her friends sat behind us but my best friend got mad so I had to ask them to move….. To make this all the more perfect the first real in life conversation we had her ex popped up and so they started talking which pushed me out of the conversation and left to slowly back away.

Our first date was at a carnival and her friends tagged along. It’s everything you think would happen. I hardly talked to her because her friends were ones she hadn’t seen in a long time and they wanted to catch up. Oh, and I also get motion sickness very easy… We didn’t hold hands, or kiss (I think we were both planning to be cliche af and do it on the Farris wheel and called it homophobic since we couldn’t even sit next to each other and there was a pole in the middle) and all we did was awkwardly hug.

Second date we went back to the park thing that was playing a movie. Her friends tagged along again. It rained as soon as we showed up too (we had to go to the closest convenient store to get an umbrella). I think I’ll quickly mention I brought a tarp to lay out on the ground that was of Jurassic Park and had dinosaurs and stuff on it (I know I’m just the sexiest person ever) which we didn’t end up using since we sat on chairs, but she still saw it. At the end of the movie my friends that had been volunteering/working the event called me over so we went to talk to them (leaving M’s friends behind). We had been making jokes, one of which was leaving three feet for Jesus. M had to leave and we hugged but everyone (her and my friends) wanted us to kiss. She had already started heading down the steps of this building so I ditched my stuff with my friends and chased after M. It was pretty dramatic tho. I called out to her and she turned around in time to “catch me.” Unfortunately, that’s the only good and movie like bit to this story. We had a awkward kiss and that’s putting it nicely. Because of all the jokes we made about leaving three feet for Jesus we decided that’s what we should do (ya know since we’re both girls we gotta do something to be holy). We kissed arms length apart while laughing. The kiss was also kinda eh? It was rather wet if I’m being honest and both of our breaths smelled bad after eating Indian food. After we parted ways I ran back to my friends and yelling and laughing of how “WE LEFT THREE FEET FOR JESUS” (I look back on this and cringe now because M most likely heard me yell) I also tripped on the way up the stairs and almost twisted my ankle.

Before I talk about our third and final date I think I should mention that we hardly talked to each other on sc. I would also rarely take pictures of my whole face since I am very, well, in reality I’m just really ugly. If I did send a whole faced picture I’d be using a filter that covered or warped most of my face. She on the other hand was very pretty. We also just couldn’t seem to get over some awkward barrier and it always felt like the conversation was a bit forced.

Our final date was to go see the Emoji movie. Yup, that’s right, we are living memes (or at least I am since I was the one that suggested we go see it as our third date IRONICALLY!¡!) this date was once again no hand holding or kissing (I guess it was for the better since our first one was a bit of a mess) but it did feature awkward hugs as a greeting and bidding farewell as well as hardly no talking!!! Just the best date ever, right?

I then went on a family vacation for a month and we continued to hardly talk to each other. The day I arrived back in the U.S was the day she asked if we could “talk.” I knew what was coming and in all honesty I was glad she was taking initiative. Because this is when I revel that I’m actually a dick.

I was skeptical of dating this girl in the first place because the entire time I had/have a huge crush on this other girl. One of my good friends that I’ve known for a few years now. I thought that by dating this girl it would get my mind off my friend and allow me to move on and not make any dumb moves that could end up ruining the friendship. Dating M did make me start losing a bit of interest in this other girl but at the same time it did nothing. I was just happy to be in a relationship and kept thinking of all the nice dumb couple stuff we could do once we got over what felt like a mountain of awkwardness.

Anyway we mutually broke up agreeing what we had was just a friendship, if even that. We still couldn’t seem to hold a conversation and we’d talk a few times a week.

My final remarks: •BE GAY AND PROUD/BE WHATEVER THE HECK YOU WANT AND BE PROUD FUCK THE HATERS •If you’re sad since you’ve never dated anyone know that I, a ugly and non-interesting socially awkward potato was able to date someone for about three months and had them confess that they love me. •if you’re not feeling the relationship that’s fine! You can’t control who you like. •In all honesty dating isn’t everything. Friendship, family, and work/school is all very important, as well as any hobbies you have.

If you’re M and you happen to realize that I’m talking about us I’m sorry. I also didn’t mean to come off like I was completely uninterested or that the relationship was completely terrible. It was just odd but in a funny way.