#also if I got this wrong let me know I haven’t read the epilogue yet just seen scattered panels and stuff

[starlightbelle]

Don’t get me wrong, everyone is somebody’s fave and I’m glad for the people rooting for the underdogs/less popular characters that their fave made it but I find it kinda hard to believe that EVERYONE in Class A “made it” as a Pro.

Like, yes I know UA is the best hero school in Japan (certainly the most famous and revered) but that doesn’t mean the hero-success rate is a hundred percent

Nobody tried hero work for a while and then realized their passion/calling was elsewhere? No one got injured and had to take a step back? No one started a family? No one graduated but couldn’t keep up with the big leagues and eventually just settled for lower-level sidekick work or just quit heroing altogether?

With a dissolvement of the hero charts I might find it more believable but with the system left so intact as it is, the Pro Hero pool is more competitive than ever…

I get Horikoshi probably wanted to tie everything up with a nice little bow (was never gonna happen if the villains couldn’t be saved) but 20 (21 if you count Shinso) out of 20 becoming successful pros?? 🤨

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] 5th Anniversary Event – Final Day (Victor)

⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for content yet to be released in the global server! ♡

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

–

[Anika’s Notes]: Since I haven’t translated the previous 4 days yet (will hopefully do later) – here are some things you need to know:

It was initially MC’s plan to arrange a vacation for them (! MC be cooking before he gets home and everything to surprise him) 🥺

But it turns out, Victor is the one who gives MC a bigger surprise by having already planned everything and organizing the trip – telling her that all she needs to do is enjoy. 🥹

And most importantly, throughout the entire vacation (i.e. all prev. 4 event days), Victor has been sneaking out EVERY MORNING – telling MC he either went for a run, or had some urgent matters to handle. 🫠🫠

And he sneaks out today too, but then PG decides to clown a bit LOL���

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

✧ [Final Day] ✧

I browse the calendar in my hand and find that this “vacation trip” seems to be already drawing closer to the epilogue.

MC: How do vacations always go by so fast…

MC: Victor, today we…

Brrring brrring – – before I can speak, Victor’s phone rings again.

Victor: Mm, I’ve got it.

Victor: I will come by to confirm the specific time.

Accompanied by the hint of silence on the other side, Victor sets down the phone.

He then stands up. There seems to be a slight urgency in his expression.

MC: Is it something important?

Victor: Mm, I need to make a trip there myself.

Victor: But I won’t be going out of this area.

MC: Go quickly, then. I’ll be waiting for you here.

Victor: Not gonna ask more questions digging into the details this time?

MC: Because I know that you’ll definitely come back very soon.

Victor: [precious, soft laugh]  Dummy.

The voice that was still a little tense just a moment ago has now relaxed, reinstating its forever-steady state.

Victor: You won’t have to wait too long.

–

Victor: Wait for me. You won’t have to wait too long.

MC: What can I do first while waiting for Victor…

MC: …!?

MC: A text message? Who is this from?

MC: [reading the text]  “‘Numerous choices in life’ – a special event opens at the theater…”

MC: [reading the text]  “We warmly invite you to join us and experience for yourself – Loveland City Theater.”

MC: …a special event at the theater?

MC: It seems like Victor won’t be back for a while, and the Loveland City Theater isn’t very far away.

MC: Let’s go there and have a look~

–

*INSERT PG’s CLOWNERY*  After MC arrives at the theater; she is shown the cruel “What-ifs” video: Here!

[Please do remember to watch the video before proceeding further]

–

Fragments of everything we’ve been through in the past appear vividly before my eyes, finally cumulating into a blur of water-stream.

I gently close my eyes as they overflow with tears, feeling a little grief-stricken, but also grateful.

We went through countless possibilities of running in the opposite direction, and yet we’ve arrived at each other’s side.

I exhale softly, and suddenly a helpless voice resounds next to my ear.

Victor: Didn’t I tell you to wait for me near the hotel?

Victor: How did you end up running here within such a short time?

I turn my head and see that familiar face of Victor.

Victor’s gaze falls on my reddened eyes, seeming a little surprised. Without waiting for him to say anything, I throw myself into his arms at a blazing speed.

My hands exert slight pressure to embrace the treasure I once lost and have now found. I just want to hold this person in front of me a little tighter.

There is a pause in the breathing in my ears, and a warm hand pats my back.

Victor: What’s wrong? What did you see just now?

I try hard to calm my emotions and look up, pretending nothing has happened.

MC: …nothing much. It was just a little bit emotional.

MC: It just suddenly dawned on me that perhaps everything I’m experiencing now was made possible by the countless choices made in the past.

MC: We’ve been through so much. But fortunately, fortunately, we didn’t pass by each other.

Victor gazes thoughtfully into my eyes, his voice suddenly turning softer.

Victor: Dummy, it’s not “fortunately.”

Victor: When it comes to us, there has never been a second possibility.

Encased by the reassuring and calming warmth, the last trace of restlessness within me suddenly dissipates.

I nod and gently interlock his fingers with mine. Then, I hear his voice which is laced with a peal of laughter.

Victor: Let’s go. It’s time to go to the next site.

Victor: The destination of our journey won’t stop here.

–

The stars at night are akin to the inextinguishable city lights, hanging high in the sky.

Victor leads me through the streets adorned with clusters of trees on the sides, and we slowly walk into a flat area.

A huge lake shows forth before our eyes, its bluish-green ripples dancing slowly. The lights reflecting off the lake’s surface set off the surrounding landscape extraordinarily brightly.

MC: Is there some kind of exhibition going on here?

I point to the posters and signs hoisted up in the distance and ask, slightly puzzled.

Victor: A rose exhibition will be held here tomorrow.

MC: Eh? So why did we come here today, then?

The words haven’t yet left my mouth when I see a foreigner attired in a white suit hurriedly walking over to us.

Victor: Henry.

Henry: [he speaks in Chinese btw]  Mr. Victor, you’ve finally arrived.

The other party’s fluent accent takes me completely by surprise, and it seems that he’s been waiting for a really long time to say these words.

Victor: How’s the exhibition coming along?

Henry: Everything is going smoothly.

Henry: It’s really all thanks to the sponsor you introduced that we’ve been able to bring so many roses from the Meisen Estate.

Henry: And now, not only do we have a collection of nearly all the roses in the world here, but countless people will be able to enjoy their beauty to their heart’s content.

Henry: “For everyone can enjoy finding the rose belonging to them” – there is no place better suited than here for this theme right now.

Victor: [hurriedly cuts him off]  Henry, keep an eye on the time.

Victor’s reminder causes the excited look on Henry’s face to calm down, and he hastily waves his hand behind him.

The heavy iron gate is slowly pushed open, revealing a long aisle that spirals upward.

Henry: As a token of gratitude to you, the rose garden will be open tonight for only the two of you.

Henry makes a gesture of invitation, then he opens the entrance to the park behind him.

–

“Find the rose you love the most.”

This is the first placard we see as we walk into the rose garden.

The long, inclined path is spread out with vast clusters of roses that invade the line of sight in a bossy manner, so much so that they don’t even leave one the time to think about anything else.

The fragrance of roses surging from all sides lingers around the tip of my nose, interweaving into the symphony of romantic poetry.

MC: So beautiful…

I pull Victor with me and walk up to the roses by the roadside, where a short poem is written on a small sign.

“In me the tiger sniffs the rose” – it’s from « In Me, Past, Present, Future meet » by Seigfried Sassoon.

MC: Victor, don’t you find that this sentence resembles you right now?

I quietly bring the rose in my hand to the tip of Victor’s nose.

Victor: [sulks]  You mean, I’m fierce?

MC: What I mean is, you both belong to the cat family.

MC: And when a rose and a big cat are brought together, don’t you think it’s really cute?

As I quip, the corners of Victor’s lips seem to slowly curve up into an arc.

Victor: Good excuse.

Victor: But there is another layer of meaning to this poem.

Victor: [In English]  My loves leap through the future’s fence, To dance with dream-enfranchised feet.

Victor softly reads out the first half of the poem, his steady voice seeming to penetrate the shackles of time.

Victor: Regardless of what choices were made, they’ve all already turned into the past.

Victor: The crucial point is the journey ahead. How do you want to walk that path?

Victor casts his gaze over, and his eyes look as if an endless stream of time is flowing within them.

The palm of his hand that he’s extended to me is akin to a wordless question, knocking on the door of my heart.

MC: I’ll hold your hand and walk together, of course~

I take Victor’s hand without the slightest hesitation. This is an answer that doesn’t require any thought whatsoever.

We walk into the long flower path. The surrounding seems to have been painstakingly planted with the same kind of flowers.

The short branches stretching out are adorned with clusters of bright, splendid red. It’s reminiscent of coming out of a classical oil painting.

MC: I know this one. It’s the small-leaved rose lily.

MC: “Just like it is to everyone else, it’s the most perfect rose to me.”

I quietly read the words written on the placard and indistinctly feel ripples stirring in my heart.

Victor: After seeing so many, which one do you like the most?

MC: Each and every one of them has a very charming feel…

MC: Lovely, resilient, and very precious-looking. They all have their own charm.

MC: Ahh, it’s so hard to choose… do you have a rose you like the most?

Victor: I seem to have asked you this question first?

MC: Just answer first.

I raise my head to meet Victor’s gaze, trying to find an answer in his eyes.

And he doesn’t look away. He simply gazes at me quietly as if everything else around him doesn’t even exist.

Victor: I’m looking at the one I like the most right now.

Hearing his straightforward words, the blush on my cheeks unconsciously climbs up to the tips of my ears.

Victor: And what’s your answer?

Victor’s face is now right in front of my eyes. The warmth of his breathing is very light, but it lands on me with a burning heat.

My answer is the same as his.

The words in my heart cry out as if to alleviate my heart from jumping out of my chest. I hurriedly pull Victor along and continue walking further, coming to the mouth of a canopied passageway.

The narrow, canopied passageway is a little dark. I can’t help but tighten my hold around our interlocked fingers a little more.

The road isn’t long. But for some reason, we don’t say a word on the way and just feel the warmth of each other’s palms in silence.

It’s as if we can keep walking like this endlessly as long as we are by each other’s side, even if we have no idea where the path ahead may lead.

At last, a burst of ethereal light appears at the far end of our line of sights.

MC: Is there some kind of surprise ahead?

I raise my head. Victor’s face is hazy in the faintly shimmering light, but I find it impossible to look away.

Victor: It’s still roses.

MC: Is that so?

Victor nods, and we walk forward.

–

We keep on walking until the dotted starry sky gradually comes into view, and what accompanies it is the irresistible fragrance of roses.

And the moment we walk out of the canopied passageway, it’s indeed what Victor said.

MC: It’s really roses…

The vastness of red spreads wholly across the horizon, composing a rose-colored ocean beneath the endless night sky.

The intense moonlight in the sky seems to be tinged with a layer of crimson.

My entire field of vision is invaded and occupied overwhelmingly, wrapping all around me as if I were not allowed to escape.

Victor: There will be many people coming to see this exhibition.

Victor: But you’re the first person to see them.

Victor’s tender voice echoes in my ears, and I seem to realize everything he wants to say at the moment.

The experience of this trip, which initially stemmed from a sense of novelty, seems to have turned into a thread that ties together all our long-standing memories.

–

[Tidbits from Anika]: MC here is referring to the entire anniversary event, where throughout this trip, they recreated together, and Victor personally designed to recreate many of the memories from their past dates in these five years.

–

Although, just as before, he still doesn’t need other people to come and witness, silently pouring out everything he wants to convey.

But now, he will proclaim his answer to everyone with the grandest gesture possible.

Perhaps, it’s the style of expressing that belongs only to Victor, flowing quietly. It’s akin to calm yet eternally advancing time.

MC: I must say, it’s still very much the style of CEO Victor~

MC: So, when can we experience such a trip again?

Victor: There is no such thing as a free lunch in this world.

The words haven’t yet left his mouth when I find his generous arms pulling me into his embrace.

His steady voice stifles a soft laugh, and it reverberates in my ears.

Victor: But you are the exception.

SWOOSH––

A long-drawn crackling sound resonates in my ears out of nowhere. And soon after, gigantic blazes of lights fill the entire sky.

The rose-like crimson fireworks thoroughly light up the entire night sky. It seems as if the whole world exists only in that one color.

Delicate rose petals stream down from the air, like a rain of roses.

Victor: The timing is just right.

MC: Wow, is this a part of the exhibition too?

I look up following the rose petals drizzling from the air, and my eyes have already been dyed as pink as they could be.

Victor: This is a surprise prepared for you.

The fireworks blooming in the sky halo the dazzling glow in Victor’s eyes with overlapping haze. When the word “surprise” leaves his mouth, the memories during this period also come flooding into my heart.

I think about him waking up early every morning and pretending to go for a run, the abrupt phone calls, and the slightly anxious urging he gave Henry when we walked in here — all of these point to a common answer.

MC: So, when you used to go out early in the morning, that was to actually arrange this?

Victor: Not too slow on the uptake this time.

The flowers falling arbitrarily from the sky seem to have created a silent world.

And the final piece to fill this world – is his soft kiss.

The gentle yet powerful sensation of stimulation spreads from my lips to the tip of my tongue, and it seems that if the next second goes by, I will never be able to wake up from this again.

Victor: MC, happy fifth anniversary.

His surging breath engulfs me intensely, as if to not allow me the slightest opportunity to catch my breath.

The gorgeous fireworks continue to unfold their dazzling light in the night sky.

I reach out and brush aside the tips of his hair falling on his forehead and happen to pick a tiny rose petal while doing so.

I point to the continuously blooming fireworks in the night sky, as I’m reminded of the sky awash in the glow of the sunset I saw from the windowsill with him that day.

The Rose Festival, which was interrupted because of an accident, now seems to have drawn to a perfect end.

–

[Tidbits]: MC is referring to their “Rose All Day” date in EN~

–

MC: I remember that you said back then, “the most beautiful rose” is not just the rose itself.

MC: CEO Victor, is this a continuation of the message you conveyed that day?

At the end of this unique holiday experience, he’s brought this rose-colored world for me.

Victor: That was then. But that’s not what it means now.

MC: Is there any difference?

The last cluster of fireworks soars into the sky, sending out a blazing sound in the long-standing silence.

He lowers his head and looks at me, his eyes reflecting infinite rays of resplendent lights.

Victor: The most beautiful rose has been by my side all along.

—

[lcksndkys]

Pairing: JJK x reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: smut, fluff, tiny hint of angst

Word count: ~8k

Summary: Save a drum, bang a drummer. 

Warnings: one tasteful semi-nude sext, brief flashback of male masturbation, discussions about conception, an unholy amount of nipple play, blowjob, fingering, pussy slapping with a dick (but like, romantically), unprotected sex within an established relationship, multiple orgasms, creampie

A/N: This is my first attempt at creative writing… ever. Borne from my horny imagination and a thirst dream, this piece is an epilogue of sorts. S/o to @jinpanman ​ and @wwilloww ​ for being the wind beneath my wings and the floaties around my arms. Also, big thanks to Willow who made the banner <3

There are two things you know are happening tonight. One: Beyond the Scene is out celebrating the completion of their newest EP. Two: your husband, the drummer of Beyond, is going to come home, high off the adrenaline of a successful night, and fuck you into oblivion. Your period tracking app that you both have been studiously monitoring over the last few months has notified you that you were going to be ovulating over the next couple of days. 

You slip into one of Jungkook’s oversized cut-off tanks and a pair of crotchless black lace panties that you know he likes. Checking in the mirror, you see a generous view of side-boob due to the cut of his shirt and you turn around and decide to forgo bottoms entirely—they’ll be discarded soon anyways. Your husband may be out with the boys tonight, but you’re determined to wait up for him. It’s not that late after all. You roll over, pulling a bottle of lube from the nightstand and set it out for later.

Lying in your shared bed, you check your phone again, reading the last messages you sent to each other.

[9:51pm] Jungkook-ah: i’ll be home late babe. dont wait up. love you.

[9:54pm] You: … but i’m ovulating today. I want you.

You haven’t heard from him since. Tapping to the camera icon on your phone, you decide to send a little more encouragement. You quickly snap a photo of your torso covered in his shirt, making sure to give a tasteful glimpse of your ensemble. 

[11:39pm] Jungkook-ah: fcuk. dont temnt meee idk when ill  b home

You sigh. He's definitely drunk which means that even if he did come home soon, he’d be too wasted to finish the job, more likely to fall asleep seconds after washing up. Tossing your phone onto your pillow, you roll to Jungkook’s side of the bed. Breathing in his clean, slightly sweet scent, you let it comfort you as your eyes close. Your mind drifts off to the first time you ever saw Jungkook as a man. 

Sprawled out on a twin sized bed, there was barely enough space for the two of you. Propped against the headboard and wearing nothing but a smile, he laced his fingers behind his head and cockily encouraged you to take pictures. “They’ll last longer,” he had said. Cheeky brat. You had instructed him to pleasure himself as you watched. “Tell me what you think of when you touch yourself, Koo” to which he replied, “You in my clothes with nothing on underneath”. He had whined, panting and desperate to hold off his climax with the hopes that he might get to feel you wrapped around him. 

You made him promise that night would be a one off; an itch scratched. And above all, he wasn’t to speak of that night to anyone, especially his sister- your best friend. At the time, an emotional relationship was not something you were ready to pursue. And certainly not with someone so intimately linked to your inner circle. So when it happened again, and then again, you proposed an easy benefits-only relationship to which he quietly accepted. You didn’t know he had been secretly yearning for something you could not yet give him. Despite trying to push him and your emotions away, Jungkook persisted, and with time and patience, you let him into your heart and let him show you the meaning of true love. 

With a love-sick smile plastered on your face, you drift off to sleep, plans for tonight all but forgotten.

_______________________________________________

Eyes still closed and hanging on to the quickly fading wisps of your dreams, you unconsciously feel around the sheets for your husband. When your hands come across nothing but layers of bedsheet and blankets and the lingering warmth of Jungkook’s body heat, you roll over seeking the comfort of his embrace. 

Sitting up, you see that he must’ve moved you during the night towards your side of the bed before climbing in behind you. Realizing you’re still in his shirt and the sexy panties from last night, you huff out a groan of annoyance. 

You get out of bed and make the short trek to your bathroom to wash up. Jungkook never missed an opportunity to “practice” baby making. The thought that he was avoiding a session in the sheets with you makes you press the bristles harshly against your teeth. 

Upon returning to your bedroom, you see that at some point Jungkook had plugged your phone in to charge. You open up your app and double check that you’re still within short the ovulation window. 

The shuffling of slippers alerts you to your husband elsewhere in your shared apartment. As you leave in search of him, you notice he had put the bottle of lube away. 

Padding out towards the kitchen, you can hear the tinkling of dishware and cutlery. The smell of toast floats through the air as you spot Jungkook at the counter pouring his cereal into a bowl of milk. Endearing. You smile, remembering he once reasoned that adding cereal to milk ensures you won’t be left with any soggy bits. 

Coming up behind him, he startles a little with your quiet arrival. You wrap your arms around his middle, pressing a light kiss between his shoulder blades, and nuzzling your face against the wide expanse of his back.

“I missed you last night, baby,” you coo. 

Turning in your embrace, Jungkook wraps one arm around your shoulders and uses a pointer finger to gently tilt your head, aligning your mouth to his. He leans down to give you a sweet, chaste kiss in greeting before pulling away. 

“I’m sorry I was out late. But I’ll make it up to you ok?”

“How about you make it up to me right now?” you wiggle your eyebrows suggestively, stepping back from his grasp. 

His eyes rake up and down your figure, pausing to take in the long expanse of skin showing from under his cut-off tank. You turn your torso slightly, lifting your arms up overhead to smooth back your bed head, allowing him a generous view of your tits through the large armholes. You smirk to yourself knowing this simple outfit is one of his favorites on you. 

“- oh, fuck,” Jungkook breathes, feeling the beginnings of desire stir in his sleep pants.

“I was so ready for you last night,” you continue, planting your hands behind you on the kitchen counter opposite of Jungkook. With a hop, you sit yourself upon the cold hard surface and try not to cringe at the sudden change of temperature on your bare rump.

You beckon towards your husband with a crook of your finger. 

“I even wore one of your favorites,” you purr. Slowly trailing a hand towards your hip you pull the hem of your—well, his—shirt up, exposing some of the black lace panties you had worn. 

Jaw clenched and brow furrowed. You enjoy Jungkook’s rapt attention.

“Come closer” you plead. 

When he shows no sign of approaching, you lean back onto your elbows and prop one foot onto the countertop. Parting your legs, you smile victoriously when Jungkook’s eyes drop immediately to your exposed core. Thank goodness for crotchless panties.

His throat constricts at the sight of your pussy, framed in black lace, and bared lewdly for him. 

“Fuck,” he growls lowley. You watch his throat bob again swallowing down a moan. He looks from your eyes, to your lips, and down between your thighs. Cock hardening, his desire rises hot and heady at the sight of you glistening before him.

Seeing him grow in the unforgiving fabric of his grey sweatpants, you grin at his visceral reaction. “You know I’m ovulating, right?” You bring your other foot up onto the counter further spreading yourself out for him. “Fuck me, baby. Fill me up with your cum.” A little dirty talk was nearly always enough encouragement to get your husband started.

Doe eyes wide, he is torn between his carnal desires to ravish you on the countertop and his mounting emotional distress. 

When your husband doesn’t immediately react to your proposition, you know something is wrong. You hop off the counter and come to wrap around him. Jungkook has always been a shy boy, and as he got older, grew into a reserved man. He had a small social circle, knowing first hand that some people had no qualms with using him for his services. He was the golden boy. Jungkook was good at things and always has been- drums, sports, computers, video games, writing music, singing, sex. Many people sought to use him and had gotten away with it. And at first, he was eager to please; to prove himself worthy of the attention. But it wasn’t long before he grew cautious and began to keep a selective few close, including you. 

You've always seen him. And you see him now, eyes tight with emotion he's been holding back from you. He hasn't done that in years. 

Your arousal from earlier has all but dried up, evaporated with the sense that something important is weighing on Jungkook. 

"Do you need me to listen or find a solution?" you ask him. 

"Listen" he replies softly. 

You take his hand, leading him towards the couch. Sitting down, you part your legs pulling his back to your front. You wrap all four limbs around him and lay back to let his weight press the both of you into the cushions. His hands immediately go to stroke along the soft skin of your shins. You tuck your face into his nape, ghosting soft kisses along the skin available to you. Holding him against you, you feel Jungkook slowly melt, head leaning back against your shoulder. You know he’ll speak when he's ready.

“I just… Lately I’ve been feeling like you only want a specific part of me,” says Jungkook quietly. His hands go to tuck back some of his hair behind his ears- a nervous tell he's never been able to kick. "And I guess it kind of reminded me of the time from before we officially got together, ya know?" 

You feel your heart crumble in your chest at his admission. At that time, you weren’t ready for what Jungkook wanted to give you, convinced that the age gap and BTS’s rising fame would ultimately lead to disaster. Thus you had pushed for a purely physical relationship. He had agreed mistakenly believing that having your body, but not your mind or heart, was better than not having you at all. He hoped that time and love would help you change your mind. Luckily for both of you, it did. 

You want to say something to comfort him, but you remember he asked you to listen. You stay quiet, giving him a safe space to speak.

"And I know we're trying for a baby, but lately there's no intimacy when you make love to me. It's like once I finish, it's over and you push me away to lay with your legs up against the wall." 

You feel his ribs expand as he takes a deep breath, and then another. In, then out. 

"You know how important aftercare is to me," he continues. You do know. Jungkook is a romantic; being held and praised for a job well done has always been just as important as the actual act of sex for him. "And if you're just trying to fuck me, I don't know if I want it." 

There's a few moments of pause.

“Why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to have sex?” you ask softly. 

Jungkook’s eyes nearly bug out of his head. “No! I mean- I want it, trust me, I want you. But the last few times, it felt like you just fucked me until I came.” Jungkook goans. “You didn’t even finish. Makes me feel like a bad lover."

You cringe remembering that the last time you had been intimate with your husband, you straddled him and then rode him fast and hard until he spilled his seed inside you. The whole ordeal lasted 3 minutes tops, and then you were rolling off him onto your back leaving him to clean up on his own. 

Sensing he was finished, you start to apologize. “I had no idea you felt that way,” you start. “I never meant for you to feel that way. I’m sorry.”

“I just- I love you so much, and I would give anything to make you happy,” he says quietly. His hands continue to absentmindedly traverse the length of your legs.

Your hold around him tightens, a silent I love you. 

“What do you wanna do today, baby? Today’s all about you,” you promise. You’re ready to give your husband the attention he craves. 

“Anything?” Jungkook asks, craning his head back to meet your gaze.

“Mhmm.”

Jungkook smiles, pleased with your enthusiasm. 

“I promise you I’ll give you a creampie, but can we please just play super smash bros first?”

Seeing the child-like wonder in your husband’s eyes, you can’t help but chuckle at him. Jungkook has always been easy to please and competitive to a fault. 

“Sure, Kook-ah. Maybe I’ll even let you beat me” you joke, fingers digging into his ribs causing him to laugh and squirm from your grasp. 

Jungkook unwinds your legs from around his waist to set up the gaming console. 

_______________________________________________

After several rounds of super smash bros, Jungkook has other ideas in his mind. Pulling you onto his lap, you’re forced to part your legs to straddle him. He fingers along the hem of your shirt pulling up the backside to expose your bare ass. 

“Ah, you wore these for me?” he asks, hand rubbing circles along your quickly heating flesh. 

“Depends. Are you ready to take them off me?” you retort with a wink. 

Giggling, Jungkook lunges for you, wrapping his strong arms around you and burying his head into your neck. You feel the gentle pressure of his lips suckling and tilt your head further back to grant him more access to the sensitive skin of your neck.

He laps against your throat, making you moan out in satisfaction. Your arousal starts to leak onto Jungkook’s grey sweats as you absentmindedly grind your bare cunt against the stiffness growing there.

“Mmm, fuck. Let’s go” you pant, urgently tapping at Jungkook’s shoulder.  

Walking into the bedroom, Jungkook slowly lowers you down to the ground, letting your front drag along his, your soft curves trailing along the firm planes of his chest. The moment your feet touch down, you gently press a hand against his chest- right over his thrumming heart- and encourage him to sit at the edge of your bed. His eyes gaze lovingly up into yours, a small smile hanging on his lips, waiting for your instruction. 

You tug at the hem of his shirt. “Can you take this off, baby?” 

Jungkook eagerly nods, licking his lips in anticipation. He reaches back, hooking his fingers into the neckline of his collar and pulling his stupidly oversized shirt over his head in one swift motion. For a second, he lets you admire his body. He works hard to achieve his physique and enjoys knowing you’re your attraction towards him has never waned. 

You swallow down a groan as your eyes trail from his chest, dusky nipples pebbled with arousal, down his abdominals, towards the bulge in his sweats. Your husband is a beautiful man, inside and out, and he is all yours. Tonight and forever.

Climbing into his lap, you straddle him and cup his face between your hands. Jungkook needs emotional intimacy, and you’re prepared to deliver.

You kiss his forehead. “I love the way you think. You’re quiet, but so clever, and I wish more people could see how your brain works. You’re considerate of other people and so fucking humble, qualities I really admire about you.”

Moving down to his eyes, you place twin kisses over his closed eyelids. “I love the way you see the world. When I’m tired, you remind me that there is so much beauty in the mundane, and I’m so lucky to see it all by your side.”

You reach down for his hands and press your lips along the knuckles of both his hands. “I love the life you’ve helped build for and with me. People always say you’re good at everything, but they don’t see how hard you work to earn it. I respect you so much for that.” You play with his fingers- somehow long and delicate, but strong at the same time- and lace them together.

“I love your nose,” you continue, pecking the tip. 

“But-”

“No interruptions, Jungkook” you hold up a hand, effectively cutting him off. “I know you’ve always thought it was a little too big and round when we were younger, but it shows how much you’ve grown into yourself over the years. You are so sexy- both on the stage and off.”

You pull back in time to see him fighting down a shy smile at your praise. “Besides, a man should have a big nose,” you wink. Unable to hide his toothy smile or blushing cheeks, you continue.

“I love these cheeks,” you say, planting sloppy kisses over his face. “When you smile - a real, genuine smile- your whole face lights up. I hope our children inherit that.”

You plant more against the beauty marks on the bridge of his nose and under his lip, on the faint scar high on his cheek. “So beautiful,” you murmur against his skin.

“These are my favorite lips. You were the first man that I believed when you told me you loved me.” You press your lips against his, kissing him gently. Tilting your head for a better angle, you press forward more ardently, and part your lips further to slide your tongue against his.

When you pull back, Jungkook’s eyes are still closed, face craning forward to chase your kiss. You card your fingers through his hair and push him back enough to look into his eyes again. 

Your lips continue their loving path down his face, nipping along his sharp jawline and down his neck, paying special attention to his sensitive pulse point. Jungkook whimpers in appreciation encouraging you to work color into his skin. 

“Most of all, I love your heart.” Your arms wrap around his torso, hands caressing up and down his back as your head tips down to press your mouth against his chest, just left of center. “You are patient and kind and romantic. You show me every day what true love means, and I am forever grateful for that. You have all of me, and you always will. And tonight, I want to make you feel good because I love every part of you. Even the parts you don’t particularly like yourself.”

You continue to leave wet kisses along his clavicles and throat making him moan quietly.

“Lay back for me, baby” you say, and he allows you to push him onto his back.

Your body follows him down prone on the bed, allowing your comforting weight to settle atop him and press him into the sheets. Linking your hands, you bring them up to rest by his head. You reconnect and kiss him senseless, lips and tongues moving seamlessly in a dance well practiced over the years. You continue until he’s whining, until you feel him thickening further in his pants. 

Lips descending downwards, you continue a fiery trail along his jawline, hands caressing his neck and chest to maximize his pleasure. Evidence of your love blooms down his neck as you continue a path towards his chest. Perched on his lap, you grind against him as you take a nipple between your lips and begin to suck.

“A-ahh fuck”, Jungkook pants as your lips wrap more securely around his pebbled bud, tongue flicking against him. Your other hand rakes along his other pectoral, thumb catching along its twin and you rub circles over him with your thumb. His cock, which had begun to throb when you love bombed him, is now fattening with arousal.                                                                                

You trail your lips across his chest making sure to provide equal attention to his sensitive buds. Dusky and shining with your saliva, you continue down his abs, licking the contours of his hard earned muscles. Jungkook continues to quietly moan at the sensation of your soft, warm mouth slowly moving south along his body.

Sitting up a bit from his supine figure, you tug down at the band of his sweatpants. “Can I take these off?” you ask, slipping your fingertips into the waistline of his bottoms. He nods his consent and you push them down as he lifts his hips up, effectively removing Jungkook’s remaining piece of clothing. 

As you move to stand from his lap, he immediately sits up as if pained by any distance between your bodies. You give him one last, sweet kiss on the mouth before settling down on your knees between his spread legs. His cock, perfectly framed between powerful thighs, is hardening rapidly and attempting to defy gravity as it bobs in the space between your bodies. Licking your lips at the sight of his leaking length, you settle on the floor and reach for his base.

“Hold on” he says, stopping you to reach across the bed and pulling his pillow from under the covers offering it to you for comfort. Your heart swells at his consideration and you accept it gratefully. You place it under your knees for an added cushion and make yourself comfortable on the ground.

Maintaining eye contact you run your hands up and down his thick thighs letting your fingernails lightly scratch along the sensitive skin there. Each pass brings you closer and closer to his cock, subtly twitching in eagerness to feel you wrapped around him. Keeping your eyes locked on his, you wrap a hand around his base and feel him harden fully in your grasp. Bringing your lips down to his weeping tip, you run your tongue up and down his slit, then slowly in a circle around the engorged head leaving a ring of precum and saliva in your wake.

“F-uuuck” Jungkook keens as you continue to tease him with your tongue. “Please. More, please.” 

Your lips immediately close around him, surrounding his throbbing cock with the wet heat of your mouth and begin to suck tasting his musky flavor. Popping off, you run your tongue up and down to spread moisture along his shaft; your hand will have to cover what your throat cannot take. He is not profoundly large, but he is more than thick and long enough to satisfy you.

Unable to mask his desire, Jungkook pants as your mouth works up and down his rigid length. You take him as deep as you can tolerate, gagging lightly when you feel him slide down the back of your throat with each pass. The hand not grasping his base is rubbing soothing circles along his hip and inner thigh, amplifying his pleasure.

“Mmm yeah, you’re doing so g-good,” he groans as you continue bobbing, hand furiously pumping whatever won’t fit in your mouth. He weaves his fingers into your hair, encouraging you to take him deeper into the depths of your throat. Eyes starting to water, his other hand wipes at the tears in your lash line as you continue to enthusiastically blow him. 

Jungkook’s volume steadily increases along with the pace of your mouth and hand as you work over his cock. You continue to suck him off sending white hot pleasure through his veins. “Oh shit- shit.” Jungkook stops you as his impending orgasm begins to crest. “You need to stop, or I’ll cum” he breathes out. Though your mouth is no longer on him, your hand continues to slowly jerk him off.

“Aren’t you ovulating?” he tries to confirm with you. “I need to put it in you,” he insists, teeth clenching together as your hand glides up and down the full length of his dick twisting your wrist with each upstroke.

“Tonight is all about you - about us,” you shake your head. “I want to make you feel good. Can I do that?” you ask as your other hand travels from his hip to cup and gently fondle his balls.

He whimpers in pleasure as you continue to stroke him.

“Do you want to cum in my mouth tonight, baby?” you purr. No longer able to formulate a coherent sentence, he nods his head aggressively.

“Good boy,” you tease with a smirk. Your mouth returns to his cock and joins the hand pumping his shaft. Years of learning each other’s bodies has taught you the tell tale signs of your husband’s orgasms and you can tell he’s close. Very close.

Hollowing out your cheeks, you apply the suction you know he has never been able to resist. You’re determined to suck his soul from his body, gripping him firmly as you furiously work his throbbing length exactly the way you know he likes. Your mouth focuses on his mushroomed head, lips sealed around the tip and tongue lapping against the sensitive frenulum.

Jungkook desperately tries to stave off his release to linger in the wet heat of your mouth. It’s been a while since he’s allowed himself to finish down your throat and he wants to savor it. “Ah, I’m so mad that you’re so good at this” he groans, earning a muted giggle from you. Stuffed full of cock, the vibration sends a thrill up his spine. 

You know Jungkook’s cumming before he can warn you. It starts with a subtle lifting of his balls as they prepare to empty into your eager mouth. Eyes squeezed shut and moaning wantonly, he chants your name over and over as he begins to orgasm. You continue your determined ministrations as his shaft pulses in your grasp.

“Hmmmph- ahh, fuck yes! Oh fuck, so good,” Jungkook whimpers as ribbons of cum burst across your tongue and hit the back of your throat. You quickly swallow his load as he erupts into your mouth. You continue stroking and sucking Jungkook through his high, helping him ride it out until he gently pushes you away when he feels the burn of overstimulation. 

“Good?” you smile up at him and let go of his wilting length to lick at a stray bit of cum from your thumb. You wipe off the remaining spit on your shirt.

“Amazing,” he replies, smiling dazedly down at you. 

You allow him to pull you from the ground up onto the bed with him, laughing when your knees pop loudly in the quiet of the room as you stand up. Giggling, you curl up against his side listening as his heart rate evens out to a steady rhythm. You can't be bothered to care that his skin is tacky with a light sheen of sweat.

You lay against Jungkook for a few minutes as he basks in the afterglow of a powerful orgasm. He pulls you tighter against him, tipping his head down to kiss you for a blow job-well-done. Tasting the residual flavor of his cum, he groans against your mouth, enjoying your combined essences.

Jungkook rolls you onto your back, continuing to kiss you with fervor. The sound of lips and tongues clashing fill the room as the two of you enjoy the simple intimacy of being together. Reaching down, Jungkook spreads your legs apart to make room for him to lay comfortably between your thighs. 

“W-what,” you’re breathless as his lips leave your mouth and travel down your jaw.

“Mmm,” he mumbles against your skin. “It’s your turn now.” He nibbles along your sensitive neck, goosebumps rising with his light touch. 

You run your fingertips up and down his back, scratching along the peaks and valleys of his spine. Leaning his weight into one arm, he uses the other to push up the hem of your shirt, ghosting a hand under to cup a breast. He palms greedily at the flesh as he continues to kiss you passionately. 

“I wanna see you,” says Jungkook. “Can I take this off?” he gestures at his cut-off tank you’re still wearing.

Criss crossing your arms and pulling up by its hem, you bare your chest to Jungkook’s eager eyes. His gaze drops down to admire the bouncing of your tits as you wiggle out of your top. Propping up on his elbows, he ducks his head to capture a nipple between his petal soft lips, coaxing it into a stiff peak with gentle suction and the lapping of his tongue. When your back arches in pleasure and you clutch his head to you, Jungkook takes the opportunity to slide his arms under you to hold you securely to his mouth as he worships at the altar of your breasts. 

“Baby, yes, you’re so good to me” you pant, feeling your arousal generously leak from your core.

Eyes closed and relishing in the sensation, you whimper, sending one hand to grip his long, dark locks and feeling the prickle of his freshly trimmed undercut. With a hand in his mane, you feel him unlatch from your tight bud to plant wet open mouthed kisses around your areola and across your chest. He stops over your heart, lips lingering to feel the rapid thumping rattle your sternum.

Generous with his attention, he moves to nip and suck around your neglected breast. He slurps your nipple into his eager mouth, tongue swirling to tease it to a hard peak. Jungkook's diligent stimulation of your breasts sends sparks of pleasure down to your cunt as he continues to lap at your pebbled beds.

“More, please,” you whine, bucking your hips upwards, hoping to encourage him to touch you where you need it most. 

Hearing you beg so prettily for him slowly coaxes life back into his spent cock. He feels himself begin to swell again against your thigh. Pleasuring you has always been incredibly arousing for him, and he knows with a several more minutes of rest, he’ll be ready to fuck you senseless.

Pulling an arm out from under your torso, Jungkook leans his weight onto one elbow and sends his free hand down between your legs to the treasure between your thighs. His lips pursed around your nipple continues to suckle and tease you into a frenzy. 

The room fills with sounds of your mewling and his blunted goans as he plays the familiar song of your body. His hands brush against the soft black lace as he spreads your legs, positioning you to his liking. 

“So wet,” Jungkook acknowledges with a quirk of his lips, fingers swiping along your slit to feel for your arousal. Bringing those fingers towards his mouth, he sucks your essence from his fingertips, savoring your taste. Jungkook switches nipples again and his fingers, now slickened with his saliva, return to the warmth of your pussy. 

You gasp when you feel him caress at your opening before sinking a lone finger into your tight, wet heat. Jungkook can’t help but grunt as he feels your walls clench around him, excited to feel it around his growing erection. 

“It’s all for you baby,” you praise him, carding your fingers through his fringe and pushing his hair back to get a better view of him suckling at your breast. Your breath hitches when you feel him add a second finger, stretching you open with his long, tattooed digits and curling them against your g-spot.

“Mmm yes- ahh. Fuck me with them,” you plead. Lacking the power to drive you towards an orgasm, he teases you with sensual strokes until your cunt drips down your ass and his fingers come out sparkling with your arousal. Completely at his mercy, you feel Jungkook slow down further. Brat. 

You’re writhing beneath him as he continues his personal brand of slow, pleasurable torture. His lips release your tender nipple and return to your open mouth attempting to swallow your moans. 

“Fuck me harder, please, I need it harder.” you beg, hoping to convince him to finger you to completion. Despite your request, Jungkook stops thrusting completely, opting to curl his fingers and rubbing softly against your g-spot while grinding the heel of his palm just off center from your pulsing clit. Your eyes are closed, but you can feel his gaze on your visage committing your whining and fucked out expression to memory. You’re being uncharacteristically pliant for him tonight- a change that he is very much enjoying. He files it under ‘spank bank material’ for when Beyond ultimately goes back on tour. 

“Please, baby, make me cum. I’m so close.” you try one last time. You’re panting and desperate for release. 

“You’re not cumming tonight unless it’s on my cock,” he grits out. His fingers stay hooked inside you, caressing at your sensitive front wall. Jungkook’s mouth returns to suckling at your pebbled bud and he slowly fucks you open with his fingers. Your cunt quivers and leaks with your arousal, but without the thrusting or clitoral stimulation, you won’t be cumming anytime soon.

“But how-” you glance down, not expecting his nearly fully erect cock. Pleasuring you had sparked his arousal again, the sounds of your approval and sight of your wet pussy glistening with desire has encouraged him back towards full mast. Licking your lips at his growing girth, you push his hand from your core to collect some of your personal lubricant. You wrap your slicked up fingers around his length jacking him to his full potential. 

“Uunffff- ok, ok. Hold on,” he says, reaching out into your bedside table for lube. You hear Jungkook uncap the small bottle and are eager to feel him deep inside you. Quickly flipping onto your front, you prop yourself on your elbows and knees, presenting your husband with your sloppy, swollen cunt- a soundless request imploring him to fuck you from behind.

“I want to feel you deep,” you reason and unable to resist you, Jungkook agrees. Eyes glued to the way your crotchless panties have dampened with your cream, he spreads a generous glob of lube up and down his cock. He wipes the remainder against your labia and rubs some onto your clit making you mewl out for him. He wipes off the residue on your sheets. You’ll have to wash that later.

Taking a moment to admire his view, his hands caress over your hips and ass. “Are you ready?” Jungkook asks, always so considerate of your needs. 

You nod and delirious with lust, you reach between your legs for him, sliding his bulbous tip up and down your slit before pushing your hips back to take him into your awaiting passage. Jungkook descends down creating a canopy with his body, sheltering you with the physical representation of his love. Jungkook’s hands find yours, lacing his calloused palms to the backs of your hands, fingers interlocking. With light pressure, he encourages you to lay your front down onto the bed. He nudges your knees further apart, propping you ass high in the air. 

Positioned to his liking, he takes his first stroke into your eager cunt. Despite his diligent fingering, the fit is still tight, and you feel the initial pinch as he breaches you. You both release matching moans upon your coupling, and you already know you won’t last long after enduring Jungkook's extensive foreplay. He sets a slow pace plunging deep into your velvet heat. 

“Harder, Kook, I’m already so close.” you puff into the sheets, turning your head as far as possible to watch your lover as he takes you from behind. “Please,” you rasp.

No longer denying your release, Jungkook thrusts faster, snapping his hips powerfully with the intent of getting you off. His cock hammers into you and you’re helpless underneath him to do anything but take it. He can already feel you tightening around him deliciously and lets go of one hand to reach down between your legs. With two fingers, Jungkook rubs tight circles around your clit while he continues to drill into your cunt which is just what you need to finally cum.

“Oh, fuck! Ah- ah-ah, Jungkook!” you chant. Your hands furiously grip the sheets trying to hold onto something to ground you as your high threatens to pull you under. Legs quaking and pussy fluttering around him, your walls contract rhythmically around his turgid length as he continues to rigorously fuck you through your orgasm. 

Jungkook whines at the sensations gripping his cock, but pulls out of your spent heat to spare you from the sting of overstimulation. Any other night, he may have considered fucking you into a second orgasm, but tonight feels different. Tonight, he wants to make ardent love to you.

Without Jungkook’s strong frame to hold you up, you crumble limp against the bed. Your ears ring with the aftermath of a good round of fucking. It takes a second to register that he is speaking.

“Can you take more?” he asks. Confused, you look down and see that he’s still painfully hard. Oh. His erection is glossy with your juices, shining as it bobs between his well-muscled thighs. 

“Fuck- yes,” you quickly consent to him. 

Jungkook swiftly rolls you onto your back again and sits up on his knees between your spread thighs. “I love you in these, but I want to see all of you,” he rasps, tugging at your ruined panties and pulling them off while his eyes stay glued on your saturated folds. Climbing back up your body, he spreads your legs wider and leans forward bringing his cock to your core. You look down to watch him steadily thrust his length against your slit, bumping against your clit on the upstrokes. 

Wanting to draw out his teasing, he grips his slickened base and slaps his dick against your slippery folds. Each wet smack sends waves of electric pleasure through your system as Jungkook works you back up. “Just fuck me, baby. I’m ready.” you insist. Your gaze trails up, meeting his heated stare. 

“I want you to keep your eyes on me when I make love to you,” he says, voice dropping an octave. When you nod in understanding, he catches his tip against your entrance and pushes back into your ripe, warm cunt. Your legs immediately wrap around his trim waist pulling him closer and encouraging him to brace the weight of his upper body on his hands. Your ankles interlock against the base of his spine to bring him deeper.

Jungkook starts with long, slow strokes, pulling nearly all the way out of you before feeding his cock back into your sopping pussy. Going slow enough for you to feel every ridge of his throbbing length, he impales you over and over.

Your back arches in pleasure and you have to fight to keep your eyes open for him. Wanting him closer, you greedily reach your hands up to pull him down closer to you, forcing him to drop to his elbows as he continues to give it to you slow and deep. 

Jungkook braces on his forearms and cradles your head. He tilts your chin up to align with his intense gaze as he continues to plow into you. Brow furrowed and eyes locked, your husband watches your dazed and needy expressions while his body and mind make love to yours. 

He’s always so good to you. Devoted and adoring. You’re suddenly struck with the reminder that this beautiful man is yours. Always has been. Always will be. And tonight is a good time to remind Jungkook how deeply you love him. A fear of commitment used to hold you back, but he peeled back your layers and showed you that love didn’t have to hurt. You haven’t been afraid since. Jungkook has the whole of your heart. 

“How did I get so lucky?” you say, reaching up to caress his jaw as he continues to thrust into your depths. “I’m sorry I lost sight of us,” you stutter trying to sound coherent as your husband diligently sinks his thickness into you again and again. “I never meant for you to feel-”

“- I know. And I’m sorry I didn’t communicate better, I just- I’m working on it,” Jungkook cuts you off. He knows this is a two way street. 

“We don’t have to try anymore if you aren’t ready. Pull out and I’ll suck you off again” you offer. If Jungkook isn’t 100% in, you aren’t either. 

“No, I want it. I’m ready for our love to create something beautiful and for everything that comes after that.”

You moan, eyes closing briefly, as Jungkook begins to pick up the pace. The increase in friction against your walls is quickly bringing you towards the edge again. An unexpectedly fierce pump of his hips has you gasping in delight.

“I said-,” Jungkook grunts with another sharp thrust, “-eyes on me, baby.” You pry your eyes open, surprised by his display of dominance and try not to squeal.

Jungkook reaches one hand down to tilt your pelvis back further and you lock your legs up higher on his frame allowing him to shove a pillow under your ass. The new position brings your clit directly under his pubic bone. When he slams back down to stuff you full, he grinds deliciously against you, making you nearly scream out in ecstasy.

“I love you,” you whisper in earnest. “I love you so much,” you moan as Jungkook begins to pound you into the sheets. You’re both quickly unraveling, approaching another high, bodies tingling with impending release. When your thighs begin shaking around him for the second time tonight, he picks up the pace filling the room with a symphony of your euphoria. 

Breaking your eye contact briefly, Jungkook looks down at the juncture of your connection and is enthralled by the visual- his cock coming out foamy with your cream and slamming back into your weeping pussy. Groaning, he suddenly feels the sharp sting of your nails raking down his back as you’re overcome with pleasure. 

“Come on, babe. Cum on my fucking cock,” Jungkook grunts, urging you towards completion. With your hips canted deliciously, he continues to ram directly against your g-spot. 

“Oh fuck, it’s so good. I’m so close,” you babble, feeling Jungkook push deeper against you to stimulate your pulsing clit. Hands clutching your husband and thighs trembling, your eyes slip closed as you finally succumb to his endeavors. You cum with a silent scream, head tilted back and throat exposed as your walls spasm uncontrollably. The wild contracting of your pussy squeezing his cock triggers Jungkook’s own release. His length throbs desperately within your walls as you coax him towards his end. 

“Ahh, I- I’m holy shit- I’m cumming, too” Jungkook whines as he climaxes with breathy whimpers, exploding as he fills you with streams of his ejaculate. He thrusts as deep as he can get while his length continues to spurt inside you, shallowly rutting to ride out his high. 

Panting, he collapses his weight into your waiting arms. “Oof,” you grunt as you feel your husband’s sweaty and spent body pin you against the bed. You let him rest against you for a while, content to feel the warm fullness of his cock and spunk nestled deep inside you.

“Can I stay inside?” he asks shyly. “I just wanna hold you.” You smile and Jungkook holds you close and carefully rolls under you so you can comfortably lay against him. With his arms wound around your waist and your thighs spread wide with his dick sheathed inside you, he ensures maximal skin contact.

Seeing his blissed out face, you giggle as the two of you revel in your post-coital afterglow. His spent length slowly softens letting some of his cum leak from your used hole onto him and the sheets below. You’re definitely going to have to wash these. 

Your fingers find their way into his hair, scratching along his scalp and pushing back his long locks to expose the sexy undercut hiding beneath. Jungkook’s eyes are still closed, but he still leans his face forward knowing you’ll meet his lips with your own. The two of you make out for a little longer, savoring the intimacy shared in your little bubble. 

Jungkook clings to you, preening at your gentle caress and basking in his favorite form of aftercare. Your cunt is runny with lube and your combined releases, but you’re too content to lay with Jungkook in your arms to clean up just yet. You lie wrapped around each other for a few more minutes, mindlessly kissing at his face and neck, whispering praises for his performance.

It’s quiet for a long moment, and assuming he must have fallen asleep as he tends to do after a vigorous round of love making, you attempt to unwind your limbs from his. Grumbling, he tightens his hold around you, preventing you from getting far. 

“Jungkook,” you warn with a laugh, “I have to get cleaned up.”

“Mmm not yet, hold me a little longer” he requests as he burrows deeper in your embrace.

Sighing, you relent, slowly dozing off with your husband in your arms. 

_______________________________________________

When you wake, you find that you've shifted in your slumber. Jungkook's chest is plastered to your back and he has an arm slung over your waist with a hand curled around one of your tits. The mess between your legs has dried making you cringe when you move to get up. Leaving Jungkook who is slowly stirring, you go to the bathroom to shower. 

You step under the spray and let the warm water relax you while you clean off the sweat and unholy mix of bodily fluids from between your thighs. You hum along to the new Beyond the Scene single and sing some of the chorus that you can remember. You exit the shower, wrapping a towel securely around you and return to rouse your sleeping husband.

You find that Jungkook is already awake and sitting against the headboard. “You know, I hope our kid doesn’t inherit your singing voice,” Jungkook cackles, cutting through the silence. 

"Why you-," you gasp, tackling him down into the sheets and laughing along with him. You pin him down and pinch at his nipple in retaliation. It’s not long before he’s pulling the towel from your body and rolling you under him to latch his mouth to your cunt. Before the night is over, he delivers another two orgasms and a fresh load. After all, practice makes perfect.

[boldlyvoid]

Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea | Chapter 5-9

1Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

Word Count: 14.3K

1-4, 5-9, Epilogue

Chapter 5

Spencer agreed to a Thursday night game night in her office sometime last week, and she’s spent every day since then planning it out for him.

Learning that he really loved Tandoori chicken, making it from scratch at home and packaging it into a couple containers to bring into work. She followed a recipe from Pinterest, hoping it bared any resemblance to what he was used to, only changing full chicken to boneless bite size cutlets, because he couldn’t use a knife in the prison.

She got a chess set at the store, as well as a deck of playing cards for the Vegas boy. Rushing out her door early Thursday morning so she could stop and get a coffee and one of his favourite doughnuts too.

Deciding that she wasn’t going to tell him how she felt any time soon, just wanting to show him friendship and support until he was finally out of prison. Vowing to uphold her oath, he was a patient in her care, she would care for him as such until he wasn’t.

She carefully placed her lunchbox and the chess set on the security desk, letting them look through it as she waited. Taking out all the food from her bag, looking through the plastic to ensure she wasn’t sneaking in anything.

“It’s just my lunch for the next 2 days, I promise,” she smiled.

“I know, but I have to look anyway,” the nice man smiled. “Have a good day today Dr. Pat.”

“Thank’s, you too, officer Kyle,” she smiled, picking her things back up and heading past the gates.

Spencer was turning the corner towards the infirmary as she walked towards the door. Officer Wilkins holding him in handcuffs as he roughly walked Spencer to her office.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she stopped, looking at Wilkins like he was an idiot. “Un-cuff inmate Reid, he’s not a threat. Plus, he can hold some things for me.”

“Whatever,” he huffed, roughly taking the cuffs off Spencer's wrists before leaving. Not saying another word.

“What a dick,” she mumbled as she handed him the lunchbox.

“Good morning Spencer,” she changed her tone to match her growing smile.

He sighed, smiling back as he rubbed his wrists. “Good morning to you too, Y/N.”

She opened the infirmary door, walking past all the sleeping men in the care area. Unlocking her office before inviting Spencer in. “Sorry I was almost late,” she said softly, taking the chess set and a brown paper bag out of her purse.

She set it on Spencer's desk along with the coffee that was in her hand, “for all your help this week,” she smiled.

Spencer placed her lunchbox in her fridge, laying a hand on her back as he walked past her towards his desk. “You’re too kind to me,” he was bashful as always.

“I have something I wanted to talk to you about,” she closed the door softly, making sure the blinds on the doors window were closed as well.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he tried to joke as he sat down.

“I asked to help with your case, maybe give a fresh opinion, so Penelope sent me all the files but I haven’t opened them yet,” she sat on the edge of her desk. Trying to read his body language as he took out his donut.

He liked the pink frosting off his finger, nodding as he followed along. “Why not?”

“I wanted your permission,” she pressed her lips together in an awkward smiled. His eyes raising to meet hers, innocent as ever.

“Oh?”

“You’re very reserved, you have rules about what you share, I don’t want to break the trust we’ve built by looking into something so intimate,” she explained her thoughts. “It’s not fair for me to learn about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, without you being the one to tell me.”

“What do you know already?” He asked softly, blinking at her as he patiently waited.

She smiled at him softly, grateful that he understood. “I know the 3 charges that you’re in on, and that you’re being framed.”

“I think I would prefer it if you read the file and just asked me questions. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to recite it all back to you today,” he was honest. Taking a sip of his coffee and looking away from her.

Giving up so much of himself to her so early in the day, she felt like he was finally comfortable with her.

She found the key to his thoughts and it opened just right, she could see the hurt that flowed through him, but she could also see the happiness. The side of him that he was afraid to bring out, in fear it would get him in more trouble.

“Okay,” she agreed. Sitting at her desk and finally opening the email form Penelope.

She read through his tox-screens, his drug history, his mental state. His first-hand accounts, witness statements, clues and findings his team had made. It all felt like the plot to a bad movie about revenge, possibly even female rage. But for what?

“I finished reading,” she said softly, brows furrowed as she chews the inside of her cheek. “Do you know anyone other than this Mr. Scratch guy who you’ve put away, wronged, lead on, or just pissed off?”

“Why?” He asked, clearly attached to the idea this was all Mr. Scratch’s doing.

“It feels like revenge, but very well planed. Like a women is mad at you so she found your weakness, I’ve done mean shit to exes in the past but this is insane. They knew you’d do anything for your mom, they knew your drug history, and the fact you might get schizophrenia one day, they wanted to drug you and make you think you did all this.”

Spencer stood then, listening to her words as he scrunched his face. Thinking as hard as he could, “can you call Penelope?”

“Yeah,” she nodded as she dialled her number, putting her on speaker phone.

“Well hello there, Love Doctor,” Penelope teased as she answered.

“Um hi, Spencer wanted to talk to you,” she panicked.

“Oh, sorry, how are you Spencer?”

Spencer looked so confused, “I’m good… Y/N and I were looking at the case files you sent-”

“Good, did you find anything?” Penelope cut in, eager to talk to him.

“Have you looked into everyone I’ve ever encountered on a case? Specifically women?” Spencer asked. “I told my lawyer and Emily that I remember a woman being there and helping, she must know me from a case too, like the other prison escapees he’s helped?”

“On it pretty boy, any specifics about her that you remember?” Penelope asked over the sound of her keyboard clicking away.

“Long brown hair, but it’s probably different now,” he added. “Everything else is dark, I didn’t see her face or any other features.”

“Alright, call me anytime Spence, I miss you,” Penelope said softly, changing her tone to a more sensitive one. “Take care of each other, my loves.”

“Love you,” they say at the same time. Looking at each other awkwardly after she hung up, leaving them to sit with their words alone.

Spencer was leaning so close to her she could feel his body heat radiating off him. Spencer placed his hand on her shoulder as he stood straight, towering over her as she looked up at him.

“I have patients to talk to, but I brought chess for you to teach me later,” she smiled up at him.

“Can’t wait,” he beamed a smile back.

She felt his hand rub the back of her blue scrubs lightly, pulling away as he walked back around to his desk. She watched him with careful eyes, wishing he would have stayed longer.

—

Normally at 4:30, Y/N would bring Spencer a tray of whatever the kitchen was serving her patients for dinner that night. Tonight, however, she walked into her office at 5 pm on the dot, closing the clinic for the night and putting all her attention on Spencer.

“So,” she smiled as she leaned against her office door, excitement radiating out of her. “A little birdie told me that you really like Indian food, Tandoori chicken to be exact…”

“No way?” He gasped as he turned around in his chair.

She nodded with a cheeky grin, “homemade so I could sneak it in.”

She took her lunch box out of her mini-fridge, opening it up to show him the 2 Tupperware containers. One for him, the other for her. She took the lids off and dished it onto 2 plates she keeps in the cabinet above the fridge.

Spencer grew more and more excited as she warmed it up, filling the room with a familiar smell. He was so happy, “I don’t know how to thank you for everything you do for me?”

“Come here,” she said softly, watching him walk towards her carefully.

She wrapped her arms around his middle, holding him in a hug. He carefully placed his hands on her back, holding her against his chest as he snuggled his cheek into her hair again.

“I’ll take hugs as payment from now on,” she pulled back from him as the microwaved beeped.

Taking a plastic spoon from the cutlery jar, she opened the microwave and handed him a plate. “Did you want to stay in here or go to the break room? I never use it cause I don’t have any co-workers, but it has a couch and a coffee table?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking the plate from her and waiting for her to warm up her own meal before taking a bite.

He was ever the gentleman.

Y/N reached back into her lunch box, taking out the package of naan bread, seeing Spencer’s eyes basically roll into the back of his head. “You thought of everything?”

“Bread is my life,” she laughed.

When her food was ready, she placed it on top of the chess box and led the way down to the break room. Spencer holding every door for her.

She flicked on the lights in the break room, watching them strobe before making that awful powering up frequency. She groaned, putting her food on the table before turning on a few lamps instead.

The room went from bright and anxious to relaxed and personal, the amber glow bouncing off the cream walls, it was nice. As nice as it could be in a prison. She never thought she’d be having a date at a prison.

That’s basically what this was, a date.

She made him dinner, they were going to play games, he was going to sit right beside her, close enough to kiss. She really wanted to, she’s thought about it a lot, his pink lips were perfect and she just wanted to see how they’d feel between her own.

But she wont.

“Dig in honey,” the name rolled over her tongue like it was always meant to.

She felt his eyes on her right away, realizing that she called him honey in a situation where he wasn’t crying, where he wasn’t vulnerable. She said it as a term of endearment, she couldn’t stop the embarrassment form settling in her veins.

She sat beside his softly, picking up her dinner and pretending it didn’t happen. “Thank you,” Spencer cut into the awkwardness.

“You’re welcome,” she said softly. Feeling like she could flip inside out at any moment.

From the corner of her eye she saw him take the first bite, closing his eyes as he appreciated the moment. His shoulders settled as he chewed, she could swear he almost moaned as he ate it. She has had the food in the cafeteria before, she understood his reaction.

“That good?” She asked, teasing him softly.

He nodded, silent as he took it all in. He took another bite, and another, she felt like he was going to get the hiccups at this rate but it was too cute to stop. He was like a stray dog eating inside for the first time in months, it made her happy and then a little sad.

He stayed quiet the whole time. Crossing his legs as he sat on the couch, the plate pulled in close to his chest as he shovelled spoonfuls of food into his mouth. She sat there admiring him as he did so, falling more and more every time she glanced at him.

“That was delicious,” Spencer said as he stood, placing his plate on the counter across the room. “Are you done?” He asked, taking her plate as she reached it out to him.

“Yeah, thanks,” she watched him carefully, always wanting to help her in whatever way he could.

He didn’t sit on the couch when he came back, instead, sitting on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, taking the chess set out and beginning to set it up. Not wanting to miss a moment of the freedom he felt when he was with her.

“So, chess is pretty easy to learn,” he said, looking up at her through thick eyelashes as he spoke. “Do you know any of the rules yet?”

“Um, I know where they all go, I know that you can’t go through other pieces and the horse gets to jump?” She tried to remember all the way back to grade 4, the last time someone explained the rules to her.

He was so soft with her, explaining the rules and showing her what to do. His hand would lightly brush over hers occasionally, eventually, he’d just guide her hand over the pieces that she should move. It was so nice to just be alone with him, knowing they were both allowed to be happy.

The room was mostly silent, only the sound of Spencer's advice and her giggle as she still wasn’t grasping the concept of the game.

“I just like, don’t care about the rules?” She couldn’t stop giggling at the fact she wasn’t picking up on anything he said.

Spencer laughed, it was deep and hearty, right from his soul, “then how do you want to play?”

She picked up the queen and moved it to a random spot, “I want to put this here and fight your guy. That’s why I don't get this, what is my XP? What are their skills? I was raised on Pokemon, honey.”

He made his way back to the couch, sitting closely beside her. “Well sugar pie, do you have any other games you want to play?”

She couldn’t stop herself from leaning in and pressing her lips against his. His hands wrapped around her waist on instinct as they connected.

It was everything she imagined. Soft, gentle, refreshing. Like a cold glass of ice tea on a hot summers day. She wanted more, never letting up as she kissed him.

Spencer was the one to pull off first, “shit,” she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand as she stared at him, horrified.

He laughed, smiling at her softly. “It’s okay,” he promised, “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

She doesn’t stop him from pulling her back in, holding her hand on his cheek as he kissed her again. Hungrier than before, Spencer’s tongue was on a mission. He tastes like dinner, but with his own Spencer difference.

Kissing him felt like a fairytale coming true.

She forgot where they were, his hands on the back of her scrubs and her hands in his hair as their mouths clashed. She started to lay back on the couch, pulling him down on top of her.

“We can't,” he pants against her lips. Regretting it as he pulls away from her.

“Sorry, this was unprofessional I know,” she tried to play it off.

Spencer pulled her back in, flush against his chest once more. “No, I don’t regret it. It’s just, I’m not ready.”

“Oh,” she says softly. Then it clicks, “oh, oh my god, Spencer I’m so sorry I forgot. I didn’t mean to push you into anything,” she worries, running her hands over his arms softly.

He shakes his head, “you didn’t. I want to, believe me, I just don’t think I can handle the after part…”

“I cried for 3 hours after I had sex again, after everything,” she told him in complete honesty. Not even Savannah or Derek knew that.

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to,” she assured him. “You shouldn’t have to be the only vulnerable one here, I want you to know about me.”

“You don’t have to tell me the details, I don’t want to think about someone hurting you,” he whispered, his eyes innocently studying her face for how she was feeling.

“Okay, so here’s everything else,” she was still holding his face in her hands. Rubbing her thumb over his cheeks. “I had 2 moms and a little sister, and I was raised in Boston. I met Savannah in 2004, I worked with her until a few years ago. She’s my best friend, Derek is like my big brother.”

She gave him the basics, “I don’t have a dad, my mom used the same donor for me and my sister, so I’ve never really felt safe around men because I never knew many.”

“Understandable,” he smiled softly. “what’s your mom like?”

“She died when I was 26,” she pressed her lips together awkwardly. “I haven’t talked to her wife since then, my other mom, she remarried not long after. I think she was cheating on my mom when she was going through chemo.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer whispered.

“I can relate to a lot of the stories I know about you already. My mom was my world, I don’t know my dad. I’ve been hurt by people, I’ve lost a lot of myself while trying to help others,” she brushed her nose against his softly. Letting him know she wasn’t pulling back any time soon. “Who you are is not what you did, or what you’ve been through.”

He kisses her again softly. Breathing in through his nose lightly, his hand on her back pulling her in closer and closer. He didn’t want to let her go, and she was more than happy staying in his embrace forever.

He pulled back softly, “I lied to you.” He whispered against her lips.

“When?” She asked, scared to know the answer.

“I do remember you from Derek’s wedding, he told me about you a long time ago. I told him I was ready for dating again when you told him about Mark,” he couldn’t look at her.

“That’s not a huge lie,” she smiled softly. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking at you all night, with that little blond boy. You two were so sweet, Mark got really mad at me for staring at you actually.”

“Derek told me when he hurt you, he came to my apartment right after so he wouldn’t go and kill him,” Spencer’s voice was so low she had to stare at his lips to understand him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she shook her head softly, kissing the tip of his nose. “Thank you.”

“I don’t want to go back to my cell,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers.

Breaking her heart in the process.

She kissed his cheeks and his lips a few times, peppering kisses to his soft face to make up for it. “We can’t do this again until you’re free,” she whispered.

“I understand.”

“So you better think long and hard about this woman you remember so I can track her down and shove her in that cell instead,” Y/N’s stern voice made him smile.

“Thank you,” he replied again, hugging her the way he promised he would thank her from now on.

—

For being 9 pm on a spring night, it was rather warm in the Vermont parking lot. She left the prison a while ago, not able to leave Spencer’s gravitational pull yet as she sat there, staring at the prison thinking about him alone in his cell instead of pressed against her chest for the rest of the night.

Thinking about the feeling of Spencer’s hands on her body and his tender lips. Her hand over her mouth as she remembered how his bottom lip ghosted over her own, the anticipation was enough to light her on fire.

She took out her phone and called Derek, knowing he would put her on speaker if they were already in bed for the night. Really needing her best friends right now.

“Hey kick-ass, how are you doing today?” Derek’s voice was overly cheery, “Hey!” Savannah added in the background.

“I’m in love with him.”

Chapter 6

She barely slept anymore. Waking up at 6 am every morning without her alarm clock, her heart physically aching to return to Spencer's side after a night without him. She felt like a love-sick school girl, wanting to be with him all day even if they had nothing to say. Just looking at him was enough to make her happy.

A few weeks passed. Weeks filled with smiles and laughter, singing and reading, inside jokes and shared jello cups. She was so madly in love with him, hugging him every morning when he arrived and every night before he left. Keeping her word, kissing him on the cheek every so often instead.

She started a routine of picking up a coffee and a donut for Spencer every single Thursday, worried that he probably thought about his case all night, yet again. Which only kept her up worrying all night about him, wondering if he was doing okay all alone.

Only getting sleep when she remembered that he had a photo of her, his mom, Derek and hank with him. He’d be okay.

She walked into the infirmary to find Jerry and Mike waiting for her with a guard. Mike bleeding all down his face while Jerry held his clearly broken hand.

“You two are going to be the death of me,” she sighed. Putting all her things in her office before coming back to care for them.

She excused the guard, telling him she had it from here. They wouldn’t put up any more fights with her, they looked up to her like a momma bear, and they were her terrible cubs.

“It is 7:33 am, who the fuck did you have to fight this early?” She whisper yelled at them. Not wanting to wake Leo in the care ward, “who is worth this?”

“You don’t want to know,” Mike said under his breath.

“Well clearly he’s not here, is he dead or in violent crimes? If you two fucked up our plan of me helping you during parole next year, I’m going to be pissed,” she tried her best to entice the answers out of them.

“It was Shaw,” Jerry said softly. “He was planning to hurt the new guy, he’s all fake buddy-buddy with him.”

“Excuse me?” She panicked.

“He’s been talking to Milos at night in the locker room, Wilkins lets him out of his cell and into gen-pop,” Mike carried on the story as she tried to clean the blood off his eyebrow.

“What are they going to do to Spence?”

“Spence?” Jerry teased her, poking her side. “I didn’t know he had a nickname already. Why haven’t we met him yet?”

“I’ve kept him locked away to be safe, I’m going to find a way to keep him here at night,” She said softly. “He’s best friends with my brother, I can’t let him get hurt.”

“So you knew him in freedom land?”

She nodded, “a little.”

“All you need is a bandaid,” she changed the subject as she reached into her kit. “And Jerry I’m going to have to set your fingers back in place, if you scream in my face, I will kick you in the nuts.”

They laughed at her fake tuff guy act, never actually being able to hurt them. They were her buddies, giving her a big hug after she finished with them. Getting them both a pudding and telling them to stay put for the day if they wanted to.

Spencer found her in the lab when he arrived, she knew it was him when the door opened, no one else had a passkey to get in. She was writing down some numbers on a chart when he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

She dropped her pen and turned around in his grasp, holding his face in her hands immediately as she pulled him into a quick kiss.

“I thought you said I couldn’t do that again till I’m free?” He asked softly. Kissing her a second time as he finished.

She smiled against his lips, “you’re free when we’re alone.”

He kissed her harder. His hands around her waist as he picked her up slightly. Twirling her around as they kissed, she laughed against his skin. Unable to stop herself from smiling as she held onto him.

She kissed him one last time as he put her down on the floor, “I have a coffee and donut for you in my office.”

“You’re too good to me, Sugar Pie.”

“Anything for you, Honey Bunch,” she bit her lip as she smiled at him again. So absolutely overwhelmed with love for him.

“I actually have a serious question to ask you,” his tone changed, making her concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m still trying to figure out more about that night, and I think I want to try exposure therapy,” he explained. “I was wondering if you’d help me get high, so I can remember what happened in the same mindset.”

“Okay,” she nodded softly. “I can book you in for the night here, say you’re under observation, and I’ll stay here with you.”

“Are you sure?”

She kissed him softly again, looking up at him with a smile after. “If you’re sure about it, I’ll help you. But we need some ground rules.”

“Of course,” he agreed. Letting go of her as she stepped back, leaning against the counter now.

“No kissing, nothing like that, we’ll do it in my office so you can be alone and then later you’ll sleep in the observation room. Leo is in there, he’s harmless and sleeps all night on his morphine anyway,” she explained. “I’m not going to take advantage of you, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s going to be hard to sober up again once you get a taste of euphoria in here.”

He nodded along as she set the rules, “those are good. Thank you.”

“They drugged you with heroin, and while I know where to get some, I’m not letting you do that,” she laughed. “I have Dilaudid in pills and liquid morphine.” Letting him pick his poison.

“The pills will be fine,” he said softly.

“Alright,” she smiled. “And if you want, when you get out I can take you to a meeting? You’ll need to talk to someone other than me, someone who gets it.”

“You’ll stay with me after all this?”

“As long as you let me,” she felt her heart grow 3 sizes at the way his puppy dog eyes stared back at her. “Go have your breakfast and I will come to see you soon, okay honey?”

His smile was glorious, she could feel the love radiating off him as he looked at her. It felt wonderful, knowing at that moment her feelings weren’t one-sided. That he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. He was going to be good to her.

—

She had mike and Jerry help her move the couch from the break room and into her office, allowing them to meet Spencer, finally. It was awkward at first, two big muscle men telling him how much they also loved their Sugar.

“Should we tell him?” Mike nudged Jerry.

“What?” Spencer asked softly, sitting at his desk on the other side of the room, really not enjoying their alpha energy.

“Shaw, Milos and Wilkins are all secretly buddies, they were planning to hurt you and so Mike and Jerry beat Shaw up in the yard,” she scrunched her face as she explained it, not ready for his reaction.

“How?”

“After they cut that kid's throat, they wanted to get you to run heroin for them. But you ended up in here, we heard them in gen-pop last night saying they wanted to get you,” Jerry explained as he played with the bandages on his hand. “He won't be out of the violent offender's infirmary for a while.”

“Thank you,” he replied to them with a pressed-lipped smile. “I need to call my team about the case.”

That was their queue to leave, Y/N patting them on the back for the help, telling them they could stay with Leo or go back to the yard, she didn’t care. They just couldn’t be in her office for this.

Spencer looked a little pissed off. “I didn’t ask them to do that,” she said, defensively.

“I’m not mad at you,” he shakes his head softly as steps into her space. “You’re the only person I can trust in here.”

She placed her hand on his chest softly, “call Penelope. Take your time on the phone with the team.” She handed him her cell phone, “FaceTime them if you want. See their faces, it’ll be okay.”

He hugged her, a silent thank you. She ran her hands over his back as she pressed her face into his neck. Holding back every instinct to tell him she loved him as she pulled away.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking her phone, “how do I?”

She couldn’t help laughing, “here,” she dialled Penelope’s cellphone number and hit the FaceTime button.

Seeing her beautiful, bright and bubbly face smile as she answered. “Hey! Oh my god, hold on,” they watched as she got up and ran down a hallway.

Spencer was instant giggles and smiles, a side of him she’s never seen before. True, pure love. This was his family, these were his people. She could see herself fitting into his little world one day.

“Guys! It’s Spencer!” She yelled as she ran into another room.

“What’s wrong?” “Is he okay?”

Suddenly she turned the phone sideways to show all his co-workers. “Hi!” He waved to them.

“Spence!” Emily and JJ cheered, “oh you look so good.”

“I feel good, how are you all?” He asked softly, taking her phone and sitting down at his desk.

She watched him softly from the door, slipping out when she saw his attention was fully on his past life. She walked down the hall towards the lab, hearing his laughter through the walls.

—

She placed 2 pills in a plastic cup, taking an apple juice and jello from the fridge for Spencer. She placed it on his desk 20 minutes before his shift ended, giving him a little space to decide when he wanted to. He told her that he get’s cold when he comes down from a high, so she leaves a fluffy blanket and a pillow on the couch before slipping back out of the room.

She returned to the care unit, looking over Leo as he got ready for the night. Administering his meds and wishing him a good night. She closed his curtain, so when Spencer eventually went to bed he wouldn’t be disturbed.

When she finally settled into her office for the night, Spencer was in the dark. Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. “Hey,” he said softly.

“How are you?” She asked softly. Closing the door behind herself. Locking it and making sure all the blinds were closed.

“It’s going to hit soon,” he said softly. Suddenly embarrassed and closed off, hiding from her as he laid down.

She didn’t want to bother him, sitting at her desk with her reports. The light from the computer is just enough to see what she was looking at. She glanced at him every few minutes to make sure he was okay.

He enjoys it at first, a blissed-out look on his face as his head is tossed back against the couch. She knows the exact euphoria he’s feeling, she understood perfectly why someone would want to escape like that.

Then his face changes as he starts to hate it, he mumbles to himself with his eyes squeezed shut, she could see him gripping the sheets as he tries to force himself to remember.

She’s uncomfortable watching it, feeling like an intruder. She tried to only focus on her work, flipping through emails and Twitter, scrolling through Facebook for the first time in months to preoccupy her mind.

He was like that for at least an hour.

She could hear his teeth chattering as he came down, just like he said would happen. “You okay, honey?”

“Y-yeah,” he tried to speak through the shaking. “C-can we cuddle?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, turning on her desk lamp before joining him on the couch.

She pulled him up into a sitting position, sitting where his head once was and letting him settle into her lap. She ran her hands through his hair, combing through the locks as she shushed him. Running her hand up and down his back in a tender motion, he snuggled into her leg.

“I’m not that high anymore,” he says softly.

“I know, it’s okay if you are. I’m not going anywhere tonight.”

“I love you,” he whispers.

It makes her stop. Her whole body stills at the words, he wanted to clarify so she’d know it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. She closes her eyes and squeezes them shut, biting her lip as she tries not to burst into tears.

He felt it too.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, “sit up.” She instructs him softly.

She laid down against the couch then, waiting for him to snuggle into her side. Wrapping the blanket around them both as they found the most comfortable position.

“Sorry,” he whispered against the crook of her neck.

“It’s okay, it just feels wrong for me to say it back right now. I feel the same, believe me, Spencer.” She wanted to assure him to the best of her ability. “But you’re still an inmate in my care, I can’t. Not yet.”

“You don’t have to,” he pulled back to look her in the eyes, his own still droopy from how tired the drugs made him. “I’m going to love you regardless.”

She broke her own rules. Kissing him softly, holding him close to her, under the blanket where both their body heat was trapped. She had never felt safer in her entire life.

Spencer only crawling into that bed in the care ward when he woke up to her alarm the following morning.

Chapter 7

There’s someone banging on her office door just a little after 8 am. She was in the middle of putting a new pair of scrubs on over her long-sleeve undershirt, the banging on her door doesn’t stop until she opens the door.

“What?” She yells at them.

It’s Officer Wilkins. “Where is inmate Reid? We have a visitor for him.”

“No one is scheduled to see him today?”

“There is now. Where is he?” The man towered over her. Trying his best to intimidate her.

“Care ward. I’ll get him. You can go wait in the waiting room,” she pushes past him. Watching him stumble as he hits the wall.

“He’s not worth dying over,” he whispers under his breath.

She doesn’t leave Reid’s side as Wilkins attempts to escort him to an interrogation room. Y/N stands in the observation room as Spencer waits, cuffed to the table. Looking through the mirror at each other, only he couldn’t see her. He just knew she would be there.

“Mom?” Spencer’s shocked voice breaks her out of her thoughts as she sees Diana walking into the room.

A dark-haired woman she’s never met before escorting her in. Y/N whips her phone out to take a quick photo before running back to her office as quickly as she can.

Y/N: I need you to check on Cassie, Diana’s nurse. Someone I don’t know just brought Diana to the prison.

She attached the photo she took, setting her phone down to looking through the visitor's logs on her computer. Wanting to know the name of the woman accompanying Diana.

“I’m sorry,” the familiar voice says from her doorway.

She looks up at him from her desk. Wilkins is stepping into her space with a look of guilt, taking his baton off his belt.

“You don’t have to do this,” she backed up against the wall, trying to keep as much distance from him as possible.

“I have to,” his tone changed. Like a personality switch, his eyes darkened as he charged at her.

She ran around the desk, watching him follow. Punching her in the face, causing her to fall back against the couch, she didn’t want him to get on top of her. Dropping to the carpeted floor as he dove onto the couch.

She crawled on the floor towards the door as he tried to get up. Standing as fast as she could, roundhouse kicking him in the face with a grunt. Her foot hit his jaw at just the right angle, rendering him unconscious.

She reached for his cuffs as soon as he hit the floor, “Leo!! Help!” She screamed down the hall.

She heard bare feet running down the hall, followed by the sound of rubber on linoleum. “Sugar??” Mike and Jerry yelled as they followed.

“Watch him,” she insisted once the cuffs were on him. “Hurt him if you have to.”

She took the second pair of cuffs off Wilkins's belt before running out of the room, her lip busted and bleeding down her neck.

She ran down the hall towards Spencer, busting into the room and knocking the nurse to the ground. Struggling to get her onto her stomach, “stop struggling, who the fuck are you?”

“Get off me!” She screamed in return.

Y/N cuffed her and pulled her to her feet, pushing her against the stone wall.

“What is going on?” Spencer stood up, cuffed to the table so he couldn’t help.

“Wilkins just attacked me, Diana wasn’t supposed to be here,” she said over her shoulder in Spencer’s direction. “So I’ll ask again,” she whispered in the woman's ear as she pushed her against the wall harder. “Who, the fuck! Are you?”

“He knows me,” she spat out.

Y/N ripped her off the wall, making her look at Spencer who was shocked, speechless as he tried to remember her face. “Who is she?”

“She told me Cassie was fired, she’s been with me all morning?” Diana tried to explain, slightly freaking out.

“I sent her photo to Penelope, I need a guard,” Y/N said, hauling the unknown women into the hall with her.

—

The prison was put on lockdown as they tried to figure out this security breach. Wilkins and the nurse being held in prison custody as they waited for the BAU team to fly in.

Figuring out that her name was Lindsay Vaughn, Spencer remembered as much as he could about her. How he tried to save her dad, losing him to his carnal need to kill. Lindsay following closely in her daddy's footsteps.

Diana sat at Spencer’s desk, Mike and Jerry stand watch at the door. Y/N was sitting on top of her desk in front of Spencer, it was his turn to run alcohol over her cuts. Holding her face in his hands as he cared for her.

“I'm sorry,” he mouths the words at her. Not wanting his mother to overhear them.

She nods in response, unable to smile as the cut on her lips stings. All things considered, she could have been in a lot worse condition if it wasn’t for Derek and her training.

She wants to kiss him, she can tell he’s looking over her shoulder at his mom. Waiting to make sure she’s not looking before he leans in a little closer.

Pressing their lips together as silently as possible, his eyes still on her’s as they did so. It’s the most tender kiss she’s ever had, “I’m okay Spence,” she said softly as he pulled back.

“I’m still sorry you were dragged into this,” holding her against his chest softly.

From where she was sitting on top of her desk, she placed her head on his chest, holding him as close as she could, his cheek resting on her head. She wrapped her legs around him, not wanting to let him go, ever.

Needing the comfort he brought her, now more than ever.

When Derek and she started training again it was mostly to help her feel safe. To know what to do if it happened again. She didn’t ever expect it to, thinking it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. That she’d learn from it and then she wouldn’t be in this situation again, being punched in the face by a man.

She started to cry, the throbbing pain in both her face and her foot taking over as the adrenaline dissipated, she was too overwhelmed to do anything more. He let her cry against him, rubbing his hand on her back as he kissed her forehead.

She couldn’t wait for him to get out of here, and she was going to leave with him.

—

Derek is the first to burst through the door. Wrapping Spencer up in the biggest hug she’s ever seen him give. Rocking Spencer back and forth in his grasp as he kissed Spencer's cheek a few times.

He pulled back, holding Spencer's face in his hands. Smiling so he didn’t cry, “they’re dropping the charges.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope,” Derek shakes his head adding, “You’re free.” Expecting Spencer to hug him again.

Instead, Spencer turns to Y/N and pulls her into a kiss. She’s startled at first, eyes wide open as Spencer’s hands find her waist and pulls her right up against him.

She can't help but settle against him. Holding his face in her hands as she kisses him back. He picks her up slightly, spinning her around with his face buried in her neck as she yelps.

Everyone in the room watching him celebrate with her in shocked silence.

He placed her back on the ground, kissing her one last time. “You did it, Spence,” she smiles at him.

“We did it.”

She hears someone clearing their throat. Both of them turning to see the Warden as well as the entire BAU team standing in her doorway. But they don’t pull apart, Spencer’s hand stays on her side as they wait to get yelled at.

“I quit,” Y/N said before he could say anything to her, “and I might sue.”

“I’m suing for sure,” Spencer added.

“We’re terribly sorry for the condition of your stay Doctor Reid. And Doctor Y/L/N, I’ll never be able to make it up to you. I’m incredibly sorry for what Wilkins did,” the warden tried to cover his ass from a bureau lawsuit.

“Too late for that,” Emily added. Stepping into the room more. “Doctor Reid will be leaving with us, now.”

“Understood,” the Warden hurried out of the room before any more damage could be done.

Everyone took a turn hugging Spencer then. A handful of them even hugging Y/N as well.

Emily wrapped Y/N up in a hug, rubbing her back the way she would all those years before. “Thank you, you have no idea what he means to us.”

“I think I do,” she laughed against her. “If that’s not weird?”

“Not at all,” she pulled back, looking at Y/N with her big beautiful eyes, her bangs pushed out of the way so she could take a good look again. “You two are good together.”

She smiled, “thanks Em.”

“We need to fill him in on everything, will you stay with Diana?” Emily asked.

“Of course, I’m just going to be packing up some things anyway,” she said as she turned to Spencer. “Have fun with your friends, honey.”

“Thanks, sugar,” he kissed her on the cheek before walking out. Everyone whistling and hollering at the boldness Dr. Reid had developed in prison.

They all filed out after him, she watched the door with a soft smile as they wandered down the hall, Spencer taking them to the break room so they could chat.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Diana’s small voice came from Spencer’s desk.

“Oh, Diana,” she smiled. “Can I give you a hug?”

Diana nodded as she walked over to her, wrapping her up in a hug, much like how Spencer would. She can imagine Spencer’s hugs once feeling like this, imagining him small and shy, holding her slightly. Unlike his more beefy, relaxed form since being in prison.

“He means the world to me too,” she says softly as Diana pulls away.

“You saved him, if he didn’t have you he might not still be my soft and sweet little Spencer,” Diana patted her shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for making him,” she laughed slightly. “He’s a wonderful man, I have a feeling you played a big role in that.”

Her smile was just like his. The smile of a mother, someone who was going to love him forever, maybe she’d love her too. Y/N felt a little emotional, this could be her family one day.

Chapter 8

There was a lot of information to process as she sat at the BAU round table.

Learning the entire plot of some women’s revenge against Spencer, just how much Wilkins and Lindsay were involved, the crazy scheme they planned and how terribly it would have ended if she wasn’t there.

Spencer, on the other hand, was visiting this Cat person in prison. The one who orchestrated it all, the one who was obsessed with Spencer, the love of her life, to the point she might be having his baby. He had some things to settle with her.

He was on edge before he left, going with Derek and JJ while Y/N stayed back with Diana. David Rossi had even offered to let them all stay at his guest house later that night, seeing as Spencer’s apartment was a crime scene.

Lindsay murdered Cassie, leaving her dead body on Spencer’s apartment floor. Ruining the place he was so desperate to return to.

She was a little out of it. Trying to think of everything that happened and everything she would have to do in the next few days. Compiling a list in her mind as the anxiety bubbled in her gut.

She needed a new job and a new place to live. First, she’d have to go back to Vermont to pack, and she’d have to find a way to support her boys on Parole. And Mike and Jerry.

She put her hands over her face and rested against the table. Overwhelmed with everything, her face still hurting, the lights were too much, she was tired.

Then she was crying softly.

“Hey,” Emily rubbed her back softly. “Shhh, it’s okay, what’s wrong Y/N?”

She sat up and wiped her eyes with a small laugh, embarrassed that her kinda ex-girlfriend was comforting her. “I’m stressed?” She answered, not even really sure herself.

Emily smiled while she nodded, looking so different now than she did back when they first met. Older, but in a beautiful way, gracefully becoming who she was always meant to be. “I get it, believe me.”

She remembered Derek saying she ‘died’ once. How they buried her casket and how pissed they were when they found out she was actually alive. Y/N only knew Emily re-born, as they called her.

She was always caring, always wanted to comfort and make people happy. It was the way she coped with hurting them all, but it carried on past the team. It carried on to strangers, victims, sometimes even unsub’s.

And most definitely Y/N.

There was a part of Y/N that wonders what loving Emily would have been like; if it would have felt half as good as loving Spencer. Or would it be better? She’d never really know, but she could imagine it would have been nice.

“How can we help?” Emily asked, still as wonderful as ever.

“I need a new job,” she laughed. “Can Penelope use her mad skills to find a reputable business in need of a doctor around here?”

“Are you moving back to Virginia?” She smiled at the thought.

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded, a smile growing on her face. “I’m kind of attached to Spencer now.”

“Good, maybe Derek can help you find a place, he has like, what 7? Right now that he’s fixing up?” Emily threw out ideas. “You’ll get the ball rolling soon, it’ll all be fine.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For not giving up on him, I know you would never but, I was worried he had lost all hope and you never did. Thank you.”

Emily hugged her again, not saying anything. Y/N knew there was nothing to thank her for, this was a family. They would kill for each other if they needed to.

“Let’s go see Penelope,” Emily replied as she pulled away. Standing and extending a hand for Y/N.

The BAU offices were so interesting, many people running around to get jobs done before the end of the day as the main team chilled. It was like any other office she was in; controlled chaos and hierarchy.

Diana was sitting with Penelope in her office, flipping through a scrapbook while eating a jello cup. It made her smile to see it ran in the family.

“Hey,” Penelope cheered as she noticed them.

“I was just going to ask for some help with something, I see you’re busy,” Y/N awkwardly commented on the situation.

“Oh, we’re not,” Diana said. “I was showing her photos of Spencer. Would you like to see them?”

“I’d love to, um while I’m here, Penelope would you be willing to help me search for a good job?” She asked a lot mousier than Spencer would have if he was asking her for something.

“Of course, what are we looking for?” She wheeled to her main computer, cracking her knuckles as she got ready to look.

“Um, anyone hiring a GP close to here, I’m willing to go all the way to DC for work,” she explained. “I just want a place where I won't get punched again,” she tried to laugh at the trauma.

“The sanatarium is hiring, they’ve got good ratings and not a lot of patient complaints, they’re looking for a physician to care for the elderly members of the program,” Penelope explained as she clicked through screen after screen of info.

“That would be nice,” she smiled towards Diana. “Did you like the one you were at?”

“Oh yes,” Diana mused. “I had many friends there, I miss them and the social aspect. For a bunch of loons, I really loved the company.” She laughed at herself.

“I send the link to you,” Penelope smiled. “Now let me see his little baby bum again that one is my favourite, he’s so funny,” she leaned back in close to Diana.

All the pictures were priceless. Seeing Spencer grow up, page after page, every award and accomplishment displayed proudly. It made her miss her family, the love that a mother could bring to her life.

She got a little emotional, trying to nonchalantly wipe the tear off her cheek as she watched Diana flip a page.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly.

Y/N laughed, “yeah I just miss my mom.” She scrunched her nose so that the tears stayed in, waving her hand in front of her face as she tried to blink the tears back.

“Where is she?” An innocent question opening the floodgates.

“She had cancer,” Y/N cried softly. Not noticing as Emily and Penelope left the room. Giving them a space to bond.

“She died when I was 26,” she explained.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Diana placed her hand on Y/N’s back as she rubbed her softly. “Do you have any other family?”

“My moms are gay, well. After my mom died I stopped talking to her wife, yes she raised me but she hurt my mom too much for me to love her like a parent,” Y/N unloaded her trauma onto Diana, it must be genetic to find comfort in the Reids.

“Spencer never had a father either,” Diana related to her. “After William left it was just us, and Spencer stepped up to being the man of the house. He’s always been thrown into situations where he has no control but he needs to make the decisions. You’re probably the best person he could be with, he doesn’t have to take care of you.”

“Cause I baby him,” she laughed as she wiped stray tears off her cheeks. “He’s pretty wonderful, you did a fantastic job. Both of you did, look at the love you have. This is a perfect family.”

She gestured to the book of photos, seeing the love beaming off Diana’s face as she held a 12-year-old Spencer in her arms. Braces, on his face, thick glasses, long hair. He was adorable.

“You’re welcome to join,” Diana offered softly. “I’ve always wanted a daughter.”

“Why didn’t you?” She asked softly.

“Why have more when you can stop at perfection,” she smiled, the same wonderful smile Spencer had.

“That he is,” she agreed. “Thank you for him.”

“Thank you, I mean it when I say you saved him,” Diana’s serious look making Y/N cry again.

“I know,” she cried. “And I’d do it again.”

In a heartbeat.

—

Rossi had 3 rooms ready for use in his guest house. Only 2 were ever used during their stay. They spent a few nights recovering together, helping Diana into a new routine for a few days while trying to just spend as much time as possible together out in the real world.

Rossi’s property was huge, never-ending even. He had lake access, ponds with ducks, fields and fields of long grass topped with flowers. It was like a dream getting to explore it together.

Happiness hit her like a freight train, smacking her in the chest and knocking the wind out of her.

She blinked and suddenly she had been waking up in Spencer’s arms for a week straight. Going on adventures together, waiting for him with a coffee outside his NA meetings, holding him all night long.

He had a hard time adjusting to a real bed again, it was too soft. He spent most of his time with his head on Y/N's chest, letting her rub his back slowly as she kissed his head, helping him drift off to sleep every single night. Causing her to fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

Every day beside him was a blessing, no longer was he a dog trapped in a cage. He was free, running with her through the fields like wild horses.

She woke up with him still snuggled into her, arm around her waist, legs tangled together, his face right in the crook of her neck. His hot breath on her skin being the thing that finally woke her up.

Absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair, eyes still closed as she woke up. Snuggling her cheek against the top of his head, causing him to pull her in tighter. Both of them slowly coming alive again.

“I love you,” her voice coarse from sleeping with her mouth open, dry as she licked her lips. It was the only thought that came to her mind. Not even realizing it was the first time she’s said it to him.

Spencer kissed her neck softly, “I love you.”

She couldn’t believe the happiness she was feeling, almost positive that even in her saddest moments she still loved him just this much. He was everything, even under all the scares and trauma, he was the most wonderful person in her whole world. And she was beyond blessed to be holding him in her arms.

The sun was barely up yet, having fallen asleep around 10 pm last night, they were up way earlier than they expected. It was so nice, the deep orange light of the morning sun creeping through the window behind the bed.

“Do you want to go watch the sun come up?” She asked softly.

“Yeah,” he nodded softly. Sitting up with her to get ready.

They put on track pants and sweaters and shoes, grabbing a few blankets and heading outside. A few minutes of walking behind Rossi’s house led them towards a beautiful little pond, they laid out 2 blankets over the dew-soaked grass before cuddling on top of it.

The birds were performing for them, the clouds were cleaning into the most beautiful morning blue sky she had ever seen. She couldn’t help herself from holding him tighter against the blanket.

The sun shined on the water, casting beautiful pinks and oranges across the surface as it stretched into the sky. A few ducks followed their mommas in the May morning breeze, quacking in agreement as they swam across the pond. Playing a game of following the leader.

It was a dream, she was sure of it. It was all too perfect to be real.

Including Spencer, he laid there softly underneath her, holding her against his chest as she appreciated the world around them. His attention only on her, even after being locked up for 3 months. He would always choose her.

“I’m so happy,” she said softly. “You make me so happy.”

He kissed her on the forehead, pushing her back against the blanket so he could kiss her whole face as she laid there. Smiling as she held his sides, letting him smother her in affection.

When he finally stops kissing her, he brushes her hair behind her ear. Cupping her face with one hand as he looks at her. The sun casting a vibrant glow on the both of them as they appreciated each other for a moment.

“I don’t know how I made it so long without you,” he finally speaks. “But I never want to do it again.”

“Move in with me?” She replied without a second thought. “I need to find a place here anyway, and I doubt you want to go back to your apartment.”

“I already asked Derek for the place he was fixing on Wilmont, it’s close to the sanatarium, mom wants to be social again,” he filled her in on his plans. “We just have to sign the lease.”

“We?” She teased him.

“I love you,” he reminded her.

“Good,” she smiled as she pulled him into another kiss. “Because I love you, too.”

Spending time with Spencer was intimacy in its purest form. It was a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual love. It was the first time in her life she felt truly in love, not mesmerized by the idea of it.

She trusted him when he said that he loved her. She believed him when held her when he talked to her about his day or the most random things his mind could conjure. When he’d just hold her, enjoying her presence without wanting anything more than just her.

Chapter 9

They arrived in Vermont early on a Saturday morning, heading to her apartment to pack everything up. It was just the two of them this time, flying in together, half asleep at the break of dawn.

Only bringing 1 bag with her essentials for the next 2 days, hoping to pack her whole life into a truck and pray it arrived in Virginia okay.

And she got to show Spencer her space. A personal side of her that he had no idea about. He knew her mind, her feelings, her trauma, but he didn’t know what her personality was really like outside of loving him.

He was surprised by the amount of stuff she had. Wandering around her apartment quietly as she started taping boxes into shape.

Rented white walls enclosed the space when she moved in, not being able to paint them or anything felt wrong to her. So she covered them in photos, artwork and posters. Bringing the space to life with a touch of colour.

Mostly neons, having an affinity for green and purple accent pieces. Not a single shade of blue to be found, getting enough of that at work over the years.

She had plants everywhere, an old record player and a million different albums spread across the living room. Her bedroom was a mess, the closet was even worse. The kitchen would be easy to pack, it was the stuff on the walls she was worried about.

“I’m probably not getting my deposit back,” she laughed as she started taking the paintings down.

“I didn’t know you went to Harvard?” He points at her medical degree on the wall as she takes it down.

“Yeah, let me guess you’re a Yale guy?” She teased him.

He scoffed, nudging her arm lightly. “CalTech and MIT actually, Yale was my safety school.”

“Mine too,” she smiled.

Spencer stood beside her and watched for a minute, “what should I do?”

“Pick an area and pack the way you would if this was your place, I trust you won't break anything.”

“Okay,” he nodded, beginning stacking all her books on the kitchen table.

They worked well together, they knew that already. She put on music, they moved around each other freely. Occasionally singing the words and dancing around to the good ones. It was a lovely day to just open the windows and clean.

Hours passed, pizzas had been ordered and destroyed, boxes filled every corner of the space as her personality was completely ripped from the room. Soon it was just them, a couch and the record player.

She got up and walked into the bedroom to change, feeling sticky and gross from the day. Not expecting Spencer to follow and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Who knew packing boxes for 7 hours would make you so sweaty,” she jokes as she peels the shirt off her back. Standing in front of him in just her sports bra.

He turns away from her, making her laugh slightly. “Spencer, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He asks as he turns back to look at her.

She nods softly, “do you want to shower with me?”

He’s speechless for a moment, staring at her with an open mouth, “yeah, yes sure.”

She can't help herself from laughing, taking his hand and pulling him into her tiny bathroom. She makes sure they both have a few towels, seeing him awkwardly stand by the door like he’s not allowed to move.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she reminded him. “Go as slow as you want.”

“I want to join you, but just to clean,” he made his decision.

“Alright, I have 3 different shampoos you can choose from,” she smiled, opening her cupboard and letting him pick. He smiled, appreciating how easily she made it a strictly business situation.

She took off her pants, watching him get undressed out of the corner of her eye. They had been much more intimate with each other already, getting naked in front of him shouldn’t have been as nerve-racking as it was.

She turned on the water, making sure it was the right temperature with her foot. She took a deep breath and just took the sports bra off, freeing her boobs after a long day felt amazing, replacing the fear of Spencer seeing her for the first time. She dropped her underwear to the floor and stepped into the shower, waiting for him to do the same.

Before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, naked. She didn’t know how to act, just laughing and smiling at him. He did the same, it felt kinda crazy that they were standing in a shower, butt naked as the water pooled at their feet.

“You have to pull the thingy up,” she pointed at the bottom of the shower behind him. “It might be cold when it hits you, here pull it up and hide in the corner, like I do.”

He followed her instructions, pulling the small silver plug up to redirect the water from the tub faucet to the shower head. Cowering into the corner with her, their chests pressed together as the cold water hit his back, making him gasp as she laughed.

She wrapped her arms around him, leaning against the shower wall as she held him against her, “hi,” she whispered through her smile.

He kissed her quickly before backing up under the stream. She watched the water cover his hair, making it darker as it spread through the long locks. She watched it drip down his body softly, her eyes travelling down as it did.

He had a scar on his neck and all the bruising on his chest was long gone. His skin was so pretty, he only had a small amount of chest hair, but it was the collection of freckles all over capturing her gaze the most. She reached out and rested her hand on his chest, seeing his eyes open as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Sorry,” she pulled her hand back.

“It’s okay,” he laughed slightly. “Here,” he reached behind her for the bar of soap, “if you want to touch me while I wash my hair?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. Reaching for the loofa on the tap behind him, standing directly in his space as she did so.

They switched sides, slowly turning so he would be out of the spray of the shower head. He put shampoo in his hands and rubbed it through his hair while she watched quietly for a moment.

She rubbed the bar of soap against the fabric of the loofa, watching it foam up and fill the small space with a soft cucumber scent. Running it over his chest softly as he massaged his scalp. She was so soft with him, mesmerized by how lucky she was.

He was beautiful and soft. He wasn’t big and buff like Derek, he was just a normal man with a love for chocolate donuts and jello. She ran the loofa over his tummy as she smiled, loving everything about him.

Loving every part actually while trying to avoid both eye and physical contact with specific sections of him. Not knowing if he was okay, wanting to respect his space, and appreciating that he was doing the same with her.

He laughed when she ran it along his side, ticking his armpit as he tried to wash his hair, soap dripping down onto his eyebrow. She reached up and wiped it off his face so it wouldn’t go in his eye.

“Thanks,” he smiled.

“Switch?” She said as she guided him back under the water, his eyes still closed from the fear of getting soap in them. Scrunching his face up in the cutest way.

The water cascaded over his body, washing the soap down him as she watched, her hair not even close to being wet enough to wash yet. She just wanted to watch the show, to look at all of him and appreciate the moment.

He opened his eyes once all the soap was gone, his hair longer than ever as it laid flat behind his ears, he looked so funny without a big curly mop of hair on his head, remembering he said it used to be like this at one point.

“Your turn?” He offered, taking the loofa from her and reapplying the soap to it. “Can I?”

“Of course,” she answered as he slowly ran the material over her.

He was so gentle, she watched his face as he washed over her. Biting his bottom lip in concentration as he covered her chest, arms and stomach, “um,” he tried to speak, she knew what he wanted.

She took the loofa from him and replaced it with a bar of soap, “rub it in your hands for a sec, and then use them it’s easier.”

He did just that, lathering up his hands before he placed them directly on her breasts. She let out a sigh, bordering on a moan, as he held them in his hands, massaging the soap in carefully. Thumbs rubbing over her nipples as he made sure to not miss a spot.

She was in heaven, tossing her head back against the shower wall as he ran his hands over her more. Exploring her as she leaned against the wall.

Down her stomach, past her belly button, washing her hips before dropping to his knees. Using the bar of soap once more to wash over her legs as she stared at him, amazed by the bravery he was showing.

The water getting in his eyes down there, he stood and pushed his hair back out of his face as the water dropped to the floor, “turn around?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” she replied, turning to face the wall.

He ran his soapy hands all over her back, over her shoulders and arms. Paying special attention to her butt, which made her laugh, she was only a little ticklish there.

She was covered head to toe in bubbles, Spencer looked at her with a big grin on his face as he noticed his job was done. Helping her under the water to wash all the soap off.

She lifted her arms to run the water through her hair, feeling her boobs perk up as she did so. Spencer's attention being completely switched to her chest as he watched. “Pass me the gold shampoo bottle?”

“Y-yeah,” he said, grabbing it from behind himself and handing it back to her.

She stepped into his space, pouring the soap into her hand and rubbing it in. “They say if you lather it up it’ll apply easier,” she explained her little life hack as she rubbed her hands together.

Finally running her hands back through her hair in Spencer’s personal bubble. Her boobs pressing against his chest once again. He was breathing heavier as she watched him, hoping soap didn’t make its way into her eye and ruin the moment.

When she finally stepped back to wash the soap out of her hair, Spencer followed, pressing them together once more. Holding her by the waist as she continued to get the soap out.

Once the water ran clean, she rested her hands on Spencer's shoulders. Staring at him as the water ran down her back, his eyelashes covered in water droplets as he stared into her eyes.

He was beautiful like this, just himself.

“Are we ever going to be like a real couple?” He asked softly.

“What do you mean?”

He ran his wet hands over his back as he thought about it for a moment, “I would like to be with you, more than this, but-”

“You mean sex?” She smiled softly, trying her best to not tease him. It was a serious moment, but she loved him too much to see him struggle.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how I’ll react,” he admitted.

“Honey,” she cooed, rubbing her nose against his softly. “Sex doesn’t make us a real couple, first of all. And second, we have all the time in the world, so you take it as slow as you want. We can start little by little, I don’t mind waiting.”

“How do you mean?”

She smirked at him, “have you ever masturbated in the same room as someone else?”

He swallowed sharply, shaking his head softly, “no, have you?”

“No,” she whispered. “But it’s a small step. You can sit beside me, we touch ourselves, nothing overlaps unless you want it to. Ease into it. It would be another easy way to be comfortable with your body around me.”

“Okay,” he agreed.

She reached behind herself to turn the water off, tapping the silver plug with her foot to release the pressure, and stepping out of the shower finally.

—

They dried off, getting into their pj’s before laying on the couch in her empty living room. Listening to the Hozier album that was already sitting on the player and cuddling while their hair dried. Just enjoying each other's company, he was so soft and he smelled amazing, it was so nice to have him in her space.

“Did you still want to?” Spencer cut into the moment.

It made her smile against him, lifting her head off his chest as she went to stand up. “Come on,” she took his hand, helping him to his feet.

She pulled him in close, kissing his lips softly. Only planning to kiss him once, being drawn into his mouth as his hands wrapped around her back.

She held him in return, slowly making her way into the bedroom as they stayed connected, laughing as her back smacked the door frame and then at the way he fell into her bed with her on top.

Her music softly travelled in from the living area, they kept the lights off as they stripped out of their pants and got under the covers.

“How did you want to start?” She asked, turning to face him as she laid against the pillow.

“Can we just kiss for a while?”

“Absolutely,” she smiled, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning in.

She was laying slightly on top of him, holding his face in her hands as she kissed him. His tongue was soft, swirling with hers as they made out softly. He was very handsy, wanting to touch every single part of her once again like he didn’t get enough in the shower.

She spread her leg between his, sitting on his thigh as she rubbed against him. He bit her lip, squeezing her skin at the feeling. “I think I can do it,” he said softly.

“No,” she whispered, kissing his neck before getting off him. “I don’t want to hear I think. It’s a yes or it’s a no.”

“Okay,” he managed to bring reason back into his horny brain.

He took his shirt off, only in boxers beside her, tenting in them slightly. She took off her shirt as well, laying back against the pillow. He watched her breasts the whole time, licking his lips as he leaned on his side.

She ran a hand over her side, cupping her breast and tossing her head into the pillow more. “I’m starting without you,” she teased, her other hand slipping under the band of her underwear.

He laid on his back, bending his knees as he slipped his boxers off, she looked over at him with careful eyes. Genuinely curious about how beautiful he would look rock hard and begging for it.

She didn’t move her hand, just resting it under her underwear to entice him to start. She watched as he stroked himself softly, returning his attention to her smiling face.

She pushed her shirt and underwear off as well, scooting in closer to him so she was pressed against his side. Bending one knee so she could ghost her fingers over the folds as he watched her.

“I want to touch you,” he rushed the words out.

“Okay.”

He reached his left hand over, resting it on her hip before resting his hand on top of hers. She slipped it out from under his grasp, guiding his fingers to her clit as she stretched her legs further apart.

“Yeah, like that,” she encouraged him.

“W-would you?”

“Finish the sentence,” she instructed him. “Tell me exactly what you want.”

“Stroke me, I want it. Yes.”

She wrapped her fist around him, feeling his fingers swoop down to see how wet she was. “Oh,” she jerked her hips against his side, not expecting him to loop the wetness back up and rub her clit again.

He groaned as she stroked him faster, both of them staring at their own handiwork. She was fascinated with how big he was, being able to stroke up and down him so gracefully it was like she was always meant to. She licked her lips as she saw the pearl of precum drip out. Gathering it up with her thumb as she slid back down his length.

He was panting, trying to hold himself back as she kept jerking him off. Lightly touching her clit as all his attention focused on not cuming so soon.

“It’s okay honey,” she whispered in his ear.

Straddling his thigh then. His hand resting on her clit still as she ground down on him. “Is this okay?” She asked.

He nodded, “yes,” biting his lip so he didn’t explode right then and there.

He felt amazing on her, every time her hips ground down her clit rested right between his fingers perfectly to gain the perfect amount of friction back and forth.

She let herself go, bucking her hips and moaning as she stroked him with one hand. Resting the other behind her neck so he could look at her boobs perk up again, sending him so close to the edge he almost jumped out of his skin.

“Fuck,” he gasped. “C-an I?”

“Cum baby,” she gasped. Following her own instruction as she watched the cum burst from him, shooting up over her fist as she stroked him through it. Grinding against him as she whimpered, “fuck, I love you,” leaving her mouth.

Letting go of his dick as he started to whine, she dropped down against him with her face nestled into his neck.

She kissed him, over and over again. Peppering them against his skin for the best orgasm she has ever had.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close against his skin as he came down from the high. His chest heaving as he tried to calm down, only picking up again when she heard the sob.

“Shhh,” she whispered against his skin, letting him hold her tighter against him as he cried. “I love you, honey, it’s okay. I’m here for you.”

She felt the tears welling in her own eyes, overwhelmed with her feelings for him. “I love you so much Spencer,” she cried against his skin, the tears dripping down his neck slowly.

His hands ran over her back, they held each other while they cried.

Everything from the last week finally catching up with them both. They hadn’t taken a moment to talk about any of it, the fact he was even in prison or what happened after. They just moved on, pretending it was fine now.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered finally.

“Me too,” he pressed his hand onto her cheek, freeing her from his neck as she sat up a little.

Both of them still gross from the sex, pressing sweaty foreheads together as they took a moment. “I’m so sorry,” she emphasized, “are you okay?”

“I’m wonderful,” he laughed at the absurdity. “I’m crying because I love you so much.”

“Really?” She laughed too.

He nodded softly. Kissing her nose as she pulled back to look at him better. “I want to touch you but,” she laughed at the mess on her hand and where she rested it on his chest. “Can we pause for one sec?” She couldn’t stop smiling.

The two of them continuing to laugh at the situation as they cleaned up in the bathroom, laughing even harder as she sat to pee like they had been married for a million years already, laughing the hardest when it came out in dribbles from all the laughing.

Going through every emotion in the book as they coped with the insanity together.

Once they were clean they crawled back into bed. Resuming almost the same position as she sat down on his lap, holding his face in her hands like she wanted to. Rubbing her thumbs on his cheeks as he pulled her in closer by her hips.

“Tell me what you’re feeling?” She whispered.

“I’m happy, you saved my life and I can’t believe I get to do this with you,” he explained softly, moving his hands on her back. He talked with his hands, not able to say anything without them moving.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever known, Spencer,” she reassured him.

“Why?” He asked softly. “not in a pity party sense, I just want to know how you feel. You haven’t really told me, I’ve been waiting for you to open up, I thought maybe you were just like that because it was your job, but I want to know you more.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she bumped their noses together. “I don’t normally talk to people, even with Derek I’m really closed off. But I do trust you, and I want to, I just wanted to experience you when you’re free. I wanted to see if this overwhelming ache in my heart would dissipate as I was allowed to love you.”

She didn’t want to cry again. Blinking so the tears rolled back behind her eyes, licking her lips as her head tilted slightly. She just stared at his honey eyes, glossy and blown out. So absolutely beautiful.

“It got worse,” she laughed slightly. “I realized that now that you’re free you don’t have to see me every day, luckily you want to. But, now I think about losing you instead of keeping you safe.”

“Never,” he shook his head, face still cupped in her hands. “I’m never leaving you, you’re going to need a restraining order if you want to break up.”

She laughed, pushing the tears out, finally. Spencer kissed her cheeks, wiping the tears away with his lips. “Okay,” her voice broke as she tried not to cry anymore.

“I love you,” Spencer whispered. “You’re brave and kind, incredibly smart. You’re willing to do whatever it takes for the ones you love, you’re the only person I want to talk to every day.”

“I was going to say that about you,” she pressed their lips together finally, pushing him back against the headboard.

She laid her head on his shoulder, cuddling into him as she sat in his lap, “I have never loved anyone like this.”

“Me either,” he admitted as he pressed his cheek to her head. “Not even with Maeve, or Derek I know he told you.”

“And your mom,” she smiled. “She actually welcomed me to the family, said she always wanted a daughter. It’s nice to have a mom again.”

That broke him, he finally dropped the tuff boyfriend act he was putting up to hear her feelings, crying at his mother and the love of his life being close. She could tell he was a mamma’s boy, they had a bond Y/N wished she could have with someone. The closest she had to a Diana was Derek, as funny as that was.

She let him cry, not prying into it at all. Letting him take control of his emotions and the conversation. She ran her hands up and down his arm, soothing him softly as he held on to her.

“I was so scared,” is all Spencer says.

“I can imagine.”

“No, I mean about my mom,” he corrects her softly. “I thought the second she got her diagnosis that I ruined everything for her. She was going to forget me before I could even find a person to marry, let alone give her grandkids.

‘She was going to forget me,’ echoed in her mind as she wrapped her head around what he was saying. He was more terrified of losing his mother and missing time with her than he was about being in prison. He really put every ounce of his love into his family, it was beautiful.

“I applied to work at the sanatarium,” is how she answers. “They needed a GP and I need a job. This way I can see her every day, and you can go to work or teach or do whatever and know she’ll be okay. And old people seem nicer than cops and criminals.”

“I love you.”

She laughs, kissing his neck softly. “She’ll be okay, we’ll get her taken care of and who knows, maybe we’ll have more answers before a grandkid rolls around.”

It’s a risk, joking about having kids with him already. But she was ready for a life sentence with him, willing to stay in that god-awful prison as long as he was there. Including if he lost his case.

“You’re too good to me.”

“I try,” she smiled. “You’re pretty fantastic yourself, I didn’t just fall in love with your pretty face, sure you’re helpful and do what I say. But I love you because of what’s in here,” she ran her hand over his chest.

He just held her, silence encapsulating the room finally. The record stopped playing in the living room, no one was on the street at this time of night, the world stopped as she laid in his arms.

The Sunday morning sun was going to start coming up as she stayed up in his lap, both of them settling more against the pillow. She had no plans to get off him, he had no plans to separate from her loving embrace.

a/n: still working on an epilogue idk when it'll be done

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[deliciousangelfestival]

Loving You Is Too Difficult - Don’t Let Me Go - Chapter 7

Don’t Let Me Go

Character: Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Words: 4,797

Theme: Angst.

Author Note: Fiuh, finally it’s completed. It’s pretty challenging to edit this one. Thank you for joining the ride. I hope you enjoy reading the last chapter. I will post the epilogue tomorrow.

In this chapter, there will be a mixed point of view between the reader and Steve. 

Divide from @firefly-graphics

Song prompt that inspired me for this chapter is Cigarettes After Sex - Don’t Let Me Go.

(Y/N) P.O.V

Four days before they met. 

“Are we there yet?” Oliver asked. 

After a long flight for 18 hours, you finally could answer, “Yes dear, the pilot said the plane would land shortly.”

“Brother, wake up.” Ollie patted Harley’s chest. From the day you introduce both of them, they become close like real siblings. Oliver likes having a big brother.

You chuckled, seeing the way Oliver woke Harley from his sleep. It made Harley mumble, ‘Five more minutes’. After he successfully annoys his big brother, Oliver jumps down from the seat and sits on your lap. “I can’t wait to meet sister Morgan, aunty Pepper, uncle Rhodey, Happy, Grandpa Ross…-”

His excitement affects you too; you kiss his forehead, “We will see them tomorrow.” 

“Miss (Y/N).” One flight attendant approaches you. 

“Yes?” 

“We just got a message from the air control. Someone is waiting for you.”

“Who?”

“Mr. Pym and Mr. Lang.”

You were surprised. It’s been three years since you met Hank. You wonder what happened exactly that made him want to meet you. 

When the plane landed safely on the runway, you saw two people standing inside the hangar. You waited until the airstair put down completely. 

The moment you saw Hank and Scott, you could notice something wasn’t right.

“Hank, what’s wrong?”

“(Y/N). I’m sorry.”

“I have breached our deal.” Hank hit Scott’s shoulder. “Scott fixed the time-heist machine secretly.”

Your heart thumped when Hank mentioned the time-heist machine. 

“Uhm… Something happened?”

Hank didn’t look directly in the eye and said “He came back.”

####

Three days before they met.

You don’t remember how you got back after knowing Steve didn't stay in his old time. You were silent for the whole day. Ross, who came by to the Stark Mansion also to see Oliver noticed you look lost. “My assistant told me someone hacked our system. Guess what they’re looking for?”

You never doubt how Ross' intelligence works. You sighed and answered, “Me.”

“So the rumor is true. Steve Rogers is back.” Ross’s fingers tap the table “... and he’s looking for you.”

You slowly nodded.

“I guess he will be there tomorrow. Do you want me to cancel the event?”

You surely don’t want the event canceled because of you. “Don’t do that, Ross. You haven’t celebrated your birthday for a long time, it is also a reunion party, to meet your old friend. Also, this will be the first time for Ollie to perform in front of the public.”

“That boy.” Ross shook his head while smiling. “He must be practicing diligently.” He looks through the window watching Oliver and Harley play catch together. 

“Oliver wants to make his grandpa proud.” 

###

Two days before they met. 

You’re not supposed to feel nervous, even with the experience of performing a hundred times, but you did. 

Because you knew he would be here. You wonder if he would show up and end up making a ruckus. 

Ross told you, “If he tries to approach both of you, my men will be ready. Should I prepare a sniper?”

You chuckled at his crazy idea; you don’t know if he’s joking or serious. "Do you want to make Oliver scarred for life?”

Both of you perform without any mistakes. You can feel Oliver’s fingers shaken for a moment, but since you were beside him, he’s not scared anymore. 

Oliver lifted his head and smiled when he saw his family giving him a standing applause. 

After the performance, all of you sit at the dinner table. Rhodey, who sits beside you, whispers to your ear, “There’s an uninvited guest, but it seems like he doesn’t want to join. He prefers to stay away and watch both of you.” He shows you a photo of Steve in his disguise. Your first thought was, ‘He is still bad at wearing a disguise.’

You notice Oliver seems bored, so you let him walk around. You knew Steve was still watching over him. You don’t understand why you are using this chance for both of them to meet. 

Harley told you he found Ollie talking with someone near the fish pond. “This is the first time I saw Ollie not scared with a stranger.”

‘Of course, because that man is his father.’

You didn’t tell Harley about Steve's homecoming since it looks like he doesn’t want to show his face. 

If he wants to be a shadow, so be it. 

When the guest starts to leave, one guest gets too familiar and gives a peck on your cheeks. You meet people like him once in a while; they try to flirt and impress you. But none of them can make your heart flutter, even for a bit. 

Because part of you died after Tony died, and after Steve left, you have no desire to open up your heart with someone else because you are afraid of another heartbreak. 

Your goal right now is to be a good mother for Oliver, a good aunt for Morgan, and a mentor for Harley. 

####

One day before they met.

Right now, all of you are standing in front of the Stark Tower. You want to show Oliver the building that you built together with Tony. The last megaproject that you ever had with him. It seems like yesterday Tony told you about clean energy. 

Happy welcome you and showed three of you around the tower. When you arrive at the top floor, suddenly the building is filled with the sound of an alarm. The loud sound made Oliver jump to your arms. 

“Friday, tell me what happened.” It turned Rhodey and Ross, who told Friday to give a warning if Steve is near.  

Friday, turn on the screen inside the room. Your eyes widen when you see Steve battle with Rhodey. 

“It’s daddy.”

You looked down at Oliver, who recognizes Steve. You didn’t hide the truth about Steve when Oliver asked about his father. He knew his father used to be Captain America, and he’s proud of it. He’s entirely focused on watching the screen. He screamed when he saw Rhodey successfully land his fist on Steve. 

It’s not suitable for children to watch violence like this; you turn off the screen that made Oliver sulking. 

You bring Happy towards the private elevator. “Tell them to stop. And tell Steve to meet tomorrow at Stark Mansion.”

Happy thought he misheard you, but you look dead serious. “But why?” You didn’t answer him. He followed your gaze, watching Oliver, who was in Harley’s arm. Crying. 

Happy went down to the ground floor, he didn’t want to see Steve, but he did it for Oliver. 

####

The day they met. 

‘THUMP.’

‘THUMP.’

That’s the loud sound from Steve’s heart. Right now, he stands in front of the entrance door. He arrived at 8 a.m. He could’ve knocked but he is nervous as heck. When the clock showed 10.55, he braced himself to knock on the door. 

‘Ring!’

It seems like only yesterday he came to this house to see Howard. Before, if it’s not human Jarvis who opens the door, it would be Maria. But in this era, it was Friday the A. I who welcome him. 

“She’s waiting in the music room,” said Friday. 

Steve feels he’s not ready to meet you. But it’s now or never. When he got closer to where you are, he could hear the music and giggle. 

There you are, sitting in front of the grand piano with Oliver. You look beautiful, like the first time he met you. Under the sunlight that came through from the French window, both of you look like an angel. 

You sense his presence. When you turned around, you saw him again for the first time after three years. You can feel he’s nervous. 

While Steve was dumbfounded when you finally acknowledge him, you are not shocked at all. You seemed calm. 

You tried your best to keep calm, then you whispered to Oliver, who was still busy playing with piano tuts, “Olie….”

“Yes, mommy?”

“Look behind you.”

Oliver turns his body; when he sees Steve standing behind him. 

“Daddy!!!” He immediately rushes towards Steve and opens his arms. 

When Steve heard his son call him daddy for the first time, his first thought was,‘He knew me?’ 

Oliver opens his arms as a sign to be picked up. 

Steve's mind was blank, but his body moved by itself. His son is in his arms right now. 

He holds Ollie at the party, but today is different. Because that night, both of them were strangers, but now they are father and son. 

In that brief moment, they bonded. 

You saw Steve and Oliver have their moment. 

It is such a beautiful scene. You notice Steve rests his head on Oliver’s shoulder and puts his head down. 

Steve is crying. 

Physically he looks strong, but emotionally, he's not. 

His heart is painful right now; it felt like someone poured acid into his broken heart. He can't help but cry because he felt like a failure. He failed as your lover and as a father. 

There was an awkward moment for sure, a short ‘Hi’ and ‘Hello,’ but it’s gone because both of you have a silent agreement to have a peaceful afternoon for Oliver. 

“I want to sit next to Daddy!”

Three of them sat down for lunch; the scene looks like a happy family. 

When the three of you sat at the same table, Steve asked you if you would leave. He knew that you never stay in one place for an extended period. 

"You're not leaving the State?"

"No, I have to attend Stark’s annual shareholder’s meeting in New York." Steve silently nodded; he wished not to be parted from both of you again. 

Time flies by, Steve doesn't realize it’s already late, and he has to leave. "Daddy, are you leaving again?" Oliver snuggled in Steve’s arms and refused to let go. "Can you stay?"

Steve looked at you when he saw you nodded.

Perhaps Steve was hoping that he could stay the night. That’s why he brings changing clothes. 

His son wished to sleep with both of his parents. There’s no way he would deny that request. 

Three of you ended up on the same bed. Ollie moves closer towards Steve; he finally could snuggle with his father. “It’s so warm.” He never thought his dream could come true to have his mother and his father right now. 

Steve looked at the beautiful features you slept. His heart is aching a lot for you. 

You must have been through a lot by yourself raising a son.

Steve hated himself a lot. 

Steve was caught up with the fear that you might leave him.

But in the end, he’s the one whole left you.

##

Steve felt the bed shaken a bit. He doesn’t want to wake up because he’s afraid this is just a dream of having you and him sleeping together. 

But Steve realized that this is not a dream. The reason why he’s awake now is that he wants to talk to you. 

He walks around the big house, wandering where you are until he hears a kettle sound from the kitchen. 

There you are, standing beside the counter making drinks. 

Without taking a glance at him, you know he’s in the same room. “I just made some tea. Do you want some?”

“Thank you,” Steve replied with a shaky voice. 

When you put down the cup, it made him remember that both of you used to spend time together, if he weren’t drawing you and another thing he would read some book while you make a piece of new music.

He felt something odd and lost; the way you welcome him is just unusual. Somehow he believed that you wouldn’t even give him a chance. 

The silence between both of you makes him nervous.

Steve has prepared what he wants to say to you, but now he has become speechless. It’s you who started the conversation by asking him, “Have you found what you’re looking for?”

He knew what your question meant. He clenched his fist, his nails digging into his palms. This kind of pain is nothing compared with how he abandoned you. With a low voice, Steve answered, “No.”

“(Y/N), I…” Steve tried to explain. 

“I don’t want to talk about it, Steve.” You took a sip, then continued, “The reason why I let you in is because of Oliver. If you want to make amends, all I ask is for you to become a good father for him. Don’t disappoint him.”  ‘-Like the way you disappoint me.’

Your words hurt; he felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. You didn’t want to give Steve a chance to explain; you got up from your seat. “If you want to stay, there’s a guest room on the second floor.”

Steve felt like he’s losing you. Since that night, you keep walking away when he gets close to you. And he’s afraid if you have someone else that is able to replace him. Steve could feel the invincible wall that you had built around yourself. 

You are too calm and low-key; you still answer him but never being the one who asked him. You don’t reject him, but neither do you warm up to him. 

Steve felt like a visitor. 

You never once showed your anger. It made Steve feel most frightened!

It was as if he was no longer necessary to you. 

Steve keep telling himself that even if you hate him, he will become a good father towards Oliver. Like right now, Steve has quality time with his son. 

Oliver talks to Steve about his day “-and then….”

Steve knew Ollie’s talking ability was still progressing; he kind of stumbled in his words, but he’s trying his best because he wants to tell his story to his father. Steve caresses Oliver’s chubby cheeks. “It’s okay, take your time,” 

Oliver’s eyelids start to get heavy, and he lets out a small yawn. “Daddy’s hands are warm and gentle. It makes me feel happy and sleepy.” 

Steve almost let tears slip away. He kisses Ollie’s chubby cheeks, “I’ll protect you for the rest of my life.”

One day there’s only Oliver and Steve inside the house. Steve couldn’t be more happier when Ollie show his drawing. His son share the same hobby. Both of them was sitting on the floor together when Ollie said “Mommy is sad.”

Steve frowned his eyebrows “Why did you say that, Ollie?”

“She doesn’t smile like she used to. But now mommy doesn’t drink medicine to help her sleep.”

You had insomnia after the post-tantrum. Without sleeping pills, you wouldn’t be able to sleep. You hide from Ollie when you drink the medicine, but somehow, he still knows. 

Steve felt a pang in his heart; what kind of torment had you been through? 

Steve is gently patting Ollie’s hair. “It’s because of daddy’s fault.”

Ollie gasped and pouted, looking at his father. “Daddy has to apologize.” He clapped his tiny hands. “Ah, Ollie knew how to cheer up mommy.”

“Daddy will need Ollie’s help then.” Steve hugs Ollie tightly. 

Every day he needed to capture your heart. He tried by giving you flowers, jewelry. Even the florist became well aware because Steve always came to his store. The minute Steve walks in to buy another flower, “Another one for (Y/N)?”

You never rejected his gift, but it seems like you receive a birthday gift the way you received it. But one day, you had enough and decided to ask him.

“Steve, are you planning to use this tactic to soften my heart?”

Steve was silent at the moment until he nodded. “If I can gain your forgiveness, then you are correct.”

Your face remained cold, “So you are finally able to move on from your first love, huh?”

Steve solemnly gazes at you “(Y/N); I was an idiot. It was too late for me when I realized that you’re the one for me, and my life is yours.”

“I find it hard to believe because of the reality... you left me.” You laughed sarcastically. 

“(Y/N), when I went back there’s nothing happened with and Peggy-”

“Steve, I don’t think you’re a kind man.” You couldn’t help to interrupt him. You didn’t want to give Steve a chance to explain because every time he mentioned Peggy, every word he said pricked your heart. 

“Because you saw her go through a time heist and saw her holding your old photo gave you enough reason to come back for her? Honestly, I find that hard to accept.”

“I don’t have lingering feelings anymore towards Peggy.”

“I dare you to say that name again!!!”

From the beginning, you knew this relationship still has a living thorn because Steve has Peggy in his heart.

“I gave you a chance. You’re the one who wastes it!” 

You were fine for Steve to stay for Oliver, but asking you back it’s too much. 

“You’re right (Y/N); I’m a selfish man.”

He walked closer to you and asked with a gentle voice, “(Y/N)... I want you to tell me honestly. Do you still love me?”

You felt your eyes start to sting. “Loved….Used to….”

Steve felt as if he had been struck by lightning; he clenched his teeth. If you ultimately moved on… He will never accept it. 

Steve gathered his courage to say these words “ (Y/N) I’ll give up on you if I could no longer love you.”

You start to recount the events every time he left you. “After you left, because of the accord, I was waiting for you. You left a phone number, but at least  I want you to be the first to call me. I always left my phone on. Hoping you would call. But no, none of it.”

“When left again to return the stone, you didn’t say anything to me. You fucking abandoned me.”

“I’m a bad mother…." "Sometimes…” You closed your eyes and choked up; you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore. “I wish Oliver didn’t have your eyes. It hurts seeing him reminded me of you.”

Steve reached to grab your fingers “I’m sorry (Y/N)...”

“I’m not done, Steve….” You opened your bloodshot eyes and turned to look at Steve. 

“At two years old, Oliver is a smart kid. He asked where his father was. I don’t want to hide anything from him, so I show him the video of you. Oliver looks so happy, but at the same time, he feels sad because he has no father.”

“Oliver is proud to have a superhero father. He kept asking me about your achievement, and I have to answer it. Every time I have to tell him about the good things about you, I feel a knife twisted in my heart because he doesn't know that his father left for another woman."

Steve froze. He imagines little Ollie asking for him and wishing his father beside him.

“Let me ask you, why must we be together? You… who cares more about his best friend and his first love than me?” You finally said what you’d been keeping inside your heart.

Steve’s throat hurt so much that he couldn’t say a word. 

“This time, we should be co-parents for Olliver. Steve, you have to let me go.”

“I can’t.” Steve’s hand still clutched yours tightly. 

“From today on, I’ll stay by your side and not go anywhere else.” 

Steve looks at you with reddened eyes “(Y/N). Back in 2016, I was ashamed and felt guilty because I didn’t tell you about your parents.”

“When I left, because… I’m not good enough for you. When your life starts to get entangled with me, you lose too many friends and brothers. I love you so much, but I felt guilty towards you. If I didn’t stop Fury and Tony’s invention, we could stop Thanos, and Tony wouldn't die. I thought after I left, you could have a simple life without me.” 

Steve placed your hand over his heart. “I’m a petty and jealous man. I couldn’t imagine seeing you being happy with someone else.” That’s why he chooses to stay in a different era, but look what happened? He hurt many people because of his selfishness. 

You were surprised to hear this. You finally understood now. It turns out Steve was unable to forgive himself. He couldn’t allow himself to be happy. 

“I know I’m so far from a second chance. But from today on… I only want to love you earnestly! Let me show you my sincerity, show you how much I want to be with you forever.”

You are angry with Steve. “You can’t just come back here and expect me to welcome you with open arms.”

“I know I don’t deserve your love and trust (Y/N). I know I sound like a jerk, selfish bastard for this. But please let me stay beside you.”

You calmly stayed in Steve’s embrace and listened as Steve choked and cried, “You can use me or even break me. I don’t care. Please don’t cast me away.”

“I’m begging you.”

He refused to let go. 

“I’m sorry for everything (Y/N).”

Steve said whatever came to his mind because his goal is none other than to keep you by his side. 

He knew it’s not going to be easy.

He knew it’s going to be difficult to make you love him again.

After that night, Steve decided to give you some space. He’s afraid if he stays close, you would hate him more. 

Steve still goes out and saves the world. He told you if you ask him to quit, he will do it. But you will never do that because saving the world is his job. You only say, "I won't ask much. Just tell me when you leave and come back from the mission."

He told you everything about his schedule and mission. He didn’t hide anything from you. 

You told Oliver that Steve wouldn’t visit for a while because he has to go on a mission.  He was sad at first, but he’s proud because ‘his daddy is a superhero.’

You thought nothing could go wrong until you received terrifying news. 

Steve got hurt because of the mission, and he almost made it. 

You felt your legs weaken. You didn’t remember how you arrived at the hospital. 

Right now, you’re in the patient room, looking at the person who seems weak because of the painkiller. 

“Worried about me?” With pale lips, Steve revealed a weak smile at you. He was amused when he woke up; there’s you sitting beside him. 

When you saw him wake up, your first thought ‘This man, how can he still smiling when he is almost on the verge of death?’ 

“Of course, I’m worried and what would happen if Oliver sees you like this.” You get up from your seat after pressing the button to inform the doctor. When you left the room, you felt at ease seeing him wake up. 

You and the doctors ordered him to stay at the hospital, but he insisted on going home. Nothing could stop him. Even if he’s dying, all he wants right now is to be with you and Oliver.  

When both of you arrived at home, you planned to let Steve rest first. Then he could see Oliver tomorrow morning. But it turned out Oliver didn’t sleep at all. He ran to you with tears on his face since he saw Steve look hurt from hand casts and bruises. “Mommy, daddy got hurt.”

You try to calm him down. “It’s okay, baby. Daddy is a super-soldier. He will be alright.” You looked at Steve. 

Steve felt stabbed seeing his son cry because of him. “That’s right, buddy. I’ll be okay tomorrow morning.”

“Really?” Oliver lifted his head and looked at Steve. 

Steve chuckled, seeing the snot on Ollie’s nose. He wiped the tears and nodded. “Because both of you are here, I’ll be alright.”

That night, Ollie refuses to separate from Steve. Seeing Oliver fall asleep on Steve’s chest made your heart soften. 

You couldn’t possibly ignore the father and son relationship. 

Your tears start to slip. 

If Steve never left, he would become a great father, and Ollie would never cry at night wishing to have a father. 

Steve wakes up from his sleep because he could hear a sound. He saw you crying.

He promised himself not to make you cry again, but now you’re crying because of him. With care, he removes Oliver from his chest and makes sure he doesn’t wake up. 

Steve quickly got up and chased you. When he got closer and touched your shoulder, he got a surprise attack from you like nine years ago.

‘SLAP.’

You slap his right cheek, the next he does is give you the left cheek. This time he won’t run away. You're not even holding back to slap him again, forming another handprint on his face. 

It was like you were venting out all your resentment, placing all your strength in your fists to express the rage and unspeakable grievances you have experienced! "Why? Why are you still able to make me worried? Why do I still care about you? I hate you! You jerk! Why are you treating me like this?" You rage at Steve until your voice is hoarse, then start to push him away. 

Even though his super serum helps him, Steve doesn’t move, but the part of his body that you hit can. It hurt him. He is still standing firmly in place as he locks his deep gaze towards you. 

You had every right to be angry! In the past three years, you have gone through so much. 

His gentle expression almost drives you mad. 

"Don't stare at me like that! Stop! Just don't!" As tears well up in your eyes, you try to endure, preventing them from falling. As though crying would be like admitting something.

You have always been resisting, always refused to admit. Your feelings towards Steve are not as much as in the past, but you are still affected when you see his reddened eyes and how weak he was on the hospital bed.

It’s embarrassing to admit it, but deep down, you miss him. 

Steve remains silent throughout this exchange. Listening to your rapid breath as though you were holding back your tears. He brings you into his arms. 

God knew how many times he yearned to reach out to touch you. Gently, like he used to, caressing your face. 

Finally, after waiting for ten years, he could have you again. 

"Shh, don't be afraid. I'm here. I'm here for you." His voice is so soft and so tender, like a feather gently enveloping her. "I won't leave. I won't abandon you. I'm right here beside you."

You open your eyes, lashes lightly fluttering. After a while, a tear accidentally flows down, one drop followed by another, dripping onto Steve’s shoulder, causing his heart to tense.

Three years ago, he left you alone crying. But this time, he would never let you cry alone again. Steve hugged you tightly. His big hand gently stroked your back. 

“You’re an idiot.”

Steve agreed with that. “I know.” 

You bit your lips, trying hard to hold back the tears. “One last time.”

Steve thought he heard it wrong when he lifted his head; you were already looking at him. “I’m not promising that I will open up my heart towards you again. But I won’t push you away.”

“Thank you (Y/N).” Steve hugged you tightly. This time, he won’t let the last chance go in vain. 

A few days later

Steve is giving a brief for Bucky and Sam before they leave. After both of them went., he got a surprise guest. Ross and Rhodey are inside his office. 

“You’re a sly man Rogers,” Ross said with a cold tone. 

“What do you mean?” Steve gave them a questioned look. 

“That mission was meant for Wilson. Since he could fly.”

Both of them checked the mission details, and it turned out Steve volunteered himself. Steve is an expert in planning. Why did he make a stupid mistake?

It turned out Steve had other plans. 

He crossed his arms, then scoffed. What they just said is correct; if he got hurt was the only way to get your attention. He will do it over and over again, “So, are you going to tell (Y/N)?”

Rhodey shook his head. “We will let it go this time. Not because of you. But it’s for (Y/N) and Oliver. I could see your sincerity begging for her forgiveness.”

“And then Oliver, I want him to be happy,” Ross added.

Years ago, he would be mad toward Ross, but Steve owed him. Because Oliver could have a grandfather, and Ross genuinely cares for his son. 

“Thank you, gentleman. I’m in debt towards you both.” Steve felt relieved since he got the blessing from Ross and Rhodey. 

Now Steve's last mission is to guard you and Oliver with his life. 

[tobiosmilktea]

umpah umpah! smau

↪︎ bokuto x f!reader x iwaizumi

[032] — rain check!

masterlist | prev. | next

a/n: im finally done with exams which means im opening up requests again 🥳 ALSO there’s only the epilogue chapter left!

something that iwaizumi didn’t quite get was the idea of getting up early hours before the game even starts.

it’s almost seven in the morning and it was still dark out. the sun could barely be construed through the tall skyscrapers of tokyo as he entered the large stadium. the actual charity game wasn’t starting until 11 am and the alders weren’t going to arrive for another couple hours. and yet the white florescent lights casted shadows upon the athletic trainer and the rest of the msby team in the early morning. granted, the bright lights did strain his tired eyes a bit.

fatigue was evident upon iwaizumi’s expression. he didn’t get much sleep last night knowing what today had in store for him—rejection and heartbreak or utter joy? he liked to believe he had high hopes, but he honestly wasn’t sure anymore.

the black jackals were already warming up on the court. atsumu and sakusa were helping each other stretch while hinata was talking tomas’ ear off. everyone was doing what they supposed to be doing with iwaizumi staying on the sidelines and checking his clipboard out of habit as if any of the writing on it would change.

“hey,” a voice calls out, familiar in all the right and wrong ways that iwaizumi almost hesitated to look up. but once he did, he was greeted by a smile from bokuto. “good luck today.”

confusion seeped through iwaizumi, it was slight, yet still noticeable enough from the furrowing of his eyebrows. “shouldn’t i be the one saying that to you?”

he was the one playing a game today.

“i meant about (y/n). we’re going to be working with each other for a while, so no hard feelings to whoever she chooses, alright?” bokuto sticks his hand out for iwaizumi to shake.

a look washed over him, but rather than confusion it was simply unreadable. why was he being so nice? if anything, it was clear bokuto had the upperhand ever since iwaizumi got into that argument with you a month ago, and yet bokuto wasn’t taking any of the advantages handed to him. perhaps at that point did iwaizumi understand your dilemma.

“of course,” the athletic trainer says, clasping his hand against bokuto’s rough ones with a firm shake.

as they let go, a buzz emits from both of their phones. bokuto was glad that he still had his phone on hand as he opened up the notification, iwaizumi soon following suit.

your head thumped against your seat, the sound of the plane’s engine battered against your temples as you let out a sigh. your hands still shook from texting iwaizumi and bokuto, recalling the beat of your heart against your ribcage as you thumb hovered over the ‘send’ button.

man, you were never going to grow out of this phrase of choosing what’s easy over what’s right. it was easy to juet ignore your problems and leave it all be, but it wasn’t right. iwaizumi and bokuto didn’t deserve this type of treatment from you and you’re well aware of it.

you stared out of the plane’s window, eyes wandering the near-empty runway. sugawara noticed how quiet you’ve been this entire time. usually, you loved idea of waking up in the early mornings to drive to the airport where everything’s serenely surreal. it didn’t matter if your flight were to be delayed or if there was a small child kicking at your seat, you always looked forward to plane rides. and yet your demeanor was nowhere to be seen.

you stared out of the plane’s window, eyes wandering the near-empty runway. sugawara noticed how quiet you’ve been this entire time. usually, you loved idea of waking up in the early mornings to drive to the airport where everything’s serenely surreal. it didn’t matter if your flight were to be delayed or if there was a small child kicking at your seat, you always looked forward to plane rides. and yet your demeanor was nowhere to be seen.

his gaze flickers down to your phone clutched into your hand as if you feared it was going to disappear. every few seconds you would check if they had texted back.

an inaudible sigh left sugawara as he turns over to akaashi who sat in the seat next to him, closest to the aisle. his headphones were already muffled against his ears and his eye lids were on the cusp of dropping. sugawara supposes he couldn’t get help on this one.

“i told you to text them that last night, (y/n).”

“it was late and i didn’t want to disturb them,” you answer. it was half true and half a lie and sugawara could clearly see right through it.

“but you knew if you waited until the last minute, they wouldn’t have the chance to chase after you to the airport,” he presses.

was it that easy to read you like an open book?

you could only stay quiet as you wanted to disappear into the light layer of murmurs of the rest of the passengers on the flight. it was going to be like this for thirteen hours, huh? one long flight from tokyo to los angeles like it’s nothing.

“i figured that i’d be away for long enough that they’ll finally give up their feelings for me.” you finally say, breaking the silence that sugawara patiently waited in. “it sounds selfish, i know that, but i’d rather have iwa and bo move on knowing that i chose neither of them than hurt knowing i only chose one.”

sugawara pressed his lips into a line, thinking carefully on what to say next. “you’re still hurting them either way, don’t you think?” the words left him before he could even stop himself, yet he was would be lying if he chose not to say anything.

your gaze, all sober and tired, finally met up with his as a pitiful smile melted across your face. “it’s not like i haven’t before...”

“and what about you?” sugawara asks, “doesn’t it hurt you the same way?”

“of course it does,” but you almost wanted to scoff at your words, “we’d have to suffer the pain regardless, that’s just how it is.”

“it doesn’t have to be...”

sugawara swears he felt his heart break as your voice waivered, “i know.” it was hushed, almost like a whisper. “but i chose it to be this way–i guess i really am selfish.”

“(y/n)—” he tries to speak in attempt to comfort you, but he is interrupted by the flight attndant’s presense.

“please refrain from using technology during take off, thank you,” the lady says kindly.

you nod immediately, completely overlooking the text bubbles appearing on both iwaizumi and bokuto’s chats. before you could feel the buzz of their messages, you turn off your phone completely as you stuffed it into your bag.

fun facts! —

both bo and iwa know that y/n texted them both and they decided on whoever y/n is who she chooses

bokuto ended up being pulled from the game halfway through because he was too distracted

iwaizumi couldn’t focus on the game either as the whole time he was checking his phone if you ever responded

they stayed up all night hoping to get a text back from you (hint: it isn’t over yet)

taglist: (closed!)

@moonlightaangel @elianetsantana @k4tiepie @memorableminds @wheeshllumi @suhkusa @kitsunetea @airybby @noeminemi @truly-a-snitch @keichan @cosmicmermaid25 @bap-kingdom @saturnfarie @kwdflash @ennos-baby @dinablossom @chrisrue15 @seikamuzu @nestlevanilla @chasekudo @yammmers @pixcldust @iwaizluv @h0ngh0ngh0ng @emogrils @tiredandkindaoverworked @tsumue @underratedmage @bokutosuwus @kellesvt @unstableye @oh-tapeworm @scrappyfka @alittlebitofrain @mxngy @tpwkatsumu @atsumuwoah @macchiatoast @dicerawr @kageyamasbabygorl @some-random-stranger-007 @vhskenma @wntrmn @little-plants @stargirlara @kissungjae @je11yfishwriter @sbaepsae @apollochjld

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Lovedust Pt.8 || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary: Y/N and Josh talk things over about where they stand as Y/N tries to build the courage to confess to Peter. One night on top of the roof, Y/N and Peter reveal any secrets they’ve been keeping from each other. 

Word Count: 5k

Author’s Note: This is technically the last part of Lovedust but there will be an epilogue. I was going to go a whole different direction and make it too angsty because sometimes, life works out that way but you guys deserve a happy ending ;) This series was only meant to be about three parts long but because of ow supportive and kind you all have been, I just have no words except thank you all so much. I will give a better thank you for the epilogue  but until then, enjoy the chapter. 

Warning: adult language

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || part seven || part eight || epilogue 

You stared up at your bedroom ceiling quietly, picking at the stitching of your blanket to the point where you had about four inches of loose thread massaged between your thumb and middle finger.

Three minutes. 

Peter was presumed dead for three minutes as you were giving him CPR that was literally a race against the clock. One hundred eighty seconds was the span between life or death and you couldn’t help but think of what if you had stopped after a minute? What about one hundred and seventy-nine seconds?

Three minutes. Your mind was so fucked that the only thing you could compare the time to was that Peter was dead longer than the time it took to pop a bag of popcorn in the microwave.

You thought back to the time where you had gone to California with Tony where you were alone in the hotel room while he had a conference. You remembered how scared you felt when the ground started to shake underneath you as the earth rolled underneath.

That earthquake must’ve only lasted fifteen seconds tops and yet, you felt like it was an eternity of shielding yourself underneath one of the desks that would’ve surely broken if the roof caved in overhead.

It’s odd how times works, whenever you’re in a dangerous situation, your body literally slows downtime so you can have the best chance at survival. So while those three minutes didn’t seem like a long time, the lingering fear of losing Peter after everything sent your body through emotional distress like no other.

It felt like a cruel joke; you had only come to realize you were in love with him when he was dying in front of you. What was even crueler was that even though everything seemed less complicated now that you really understood how you felt about him, it was only the tip of the iceberg.

It had been a few days since you had seen Peter since the night of the party and you felt like you were slowly losing your sanity. Your dad tried convincing you that Peter needed to be monitored for a while but maybe he just wanted you two to stay away from each other since you practically almost killed him by kissing Josh.

You loved Peter and he “loved” you yet once he was cured, he wouldn’t share the same feelings for you. What would happen once he was cured? How different would things be between you, especially since you would be having feelings for someone who doesn’t love you back? 

Loving someone who surely wasn’t in love with you felt like a whole new level of self-destruction.

Your phone rang from underneath your pillow and temporarily interrupted your thoughts. You reached under the pillow to pull out your phone to find that Josh was calling you. 

You inhaled sharply as you practically leaped out from under your covers, unsure of what to do. 

The last you heard from Josh was the night of the party but just like Peter, you hadn’t seen or spoke to him since. That wasn’t the full truth, Josh had been texting you to make sure you were okay but you didn’t have the strength to even reply to his worried texts. 

Poor Josh. He felt like an innocent bystander who got hit in the crossfire of what was going on between you and Peter.

In past relationships, you were like Josh. Your past boyfriends seem to always treat you as a rebound, a backup in case things went south and as gross as it made you feel, it was like you could sort of understand why your exes felt that way.

You didn’t want to lead Josh on, he was too nice of a guy to deserve that type of treatment. Your thumb hovered over the screen and you answered his call at the last second. He deserved that at the least.

“ Hey sorry, I was um, preoccupied. Is everything okay?” You asked as you started to pace your room.

“ I was going to ask the same for you. You haven’t been answering my texts and I was getting worried.”

You bit the inside of your cheek as a wave of guilt washed over you,” Y-Yeah I’m sorry. I’ve just been going through some stuff. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“ You don’t have to apologize, I get it. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something in person, are you doing anything at the moment? 

You rolled your shoulders back as you let out a deep sigh. In all honesty, you didn’t feel like leaving your room but if you were going to pick Peter over Josh, you also would have to owe him an explanation.

“ Okay, where do you want to meet?”

“ We can meet outside your complex, I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“ Oh that’s probably easier anyway, when are you gonna come over?” You asked as you fell backwards onto your bed.

“ Um...I’m already outside.”

Your eyes widened as you scrambled over to your window to squint out towards the entrance. Sure enough, if you squinted really hard, you could make out Josh’s car outside the front gate.

“ Oh fuck! Sorry um, I’m coming out now!” You didn’t bother to let Josh respond as you hung up the phone and practically rushed out of your bedroom.

You practically sprinted across the front lawn all the way to the entrance and once you opened the gate, you leaned your body against the side of Josh’s car to help catch your breath.  

“ You didn’t have to run all the way here, I could’ve waited,” Josh said with a smile as he watched you struggling.

“ I know,” You huffed as you felt yourself calm down,” but it would have been awkward if you just stood there for five minutes and watched me walk the whole way.”

“ Okay, that’s fair,” Josh chuckled as he leaned against the side of his car beside you,” I wanted to talk to you about the night of the party. I just want to make sure you’re okay and I’m sorry if I overstepped by kissing you. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

You felt your heartstrings tug at his words as you looked down at your flip flops. You didn’t know how to explain to him that he wasn’t the one who overstepped but that the kiss was never supposed to happen. 

“ You don’t have to apologize Josh and you didn’t make me uncomfortable at all. It’s just...I know how you feel about me and don’t get me wrong, I’m so flattered that you actually like me because to be honest, you’re way out of my league but um,” You awkwardly rubbed your sweaty hands against your pajama bottoms and let out a shaky breath,” I thought things were fine and that they would go back to normal but um, things kinda just happened and you were there and I thought hey he’s cute, like super cute, and Kim was being so pushy-”

“ I know you have feelings for Peter, it’s okay Y/N,” Josh interrupted as he took a moment before wincing,” I didn’t mean to interrupt you but I had a feeling that’s where you were heading with it. Plus you ramble when you’re nervous and I don’t want you to say something embarrassing. ”

Bless his soul, Josh really would be the death of you.

“ Is it that obvious I like him?” 

“ Painfully obvious yeah. I kinda figured you two had something going on but after you gave him CPR and you two gave each other that look, that’s when it all clicked for me,” Josh said as you felt the tips of your ears get hot.

“ Josh, I am so sorry. I really mean it when I say that you’re the sweetest guy I have ever met and I really do wish you the best,” You answered honestly and you felt even guiltier when Josh only shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips.

You couldn’t believe that even now as you were telling Josh you didn’t share feelings for him that he was still being incredibly sweet towards you. 

“ Same goes for you, I hope he treats you the way you deserve to be treated. I have to be honest and say that I can’t get rid of my feelings for you overnight but hopefully we can be friends somewhere along the line,” Josh offered as you felt your heart snap in two.

As you looked back at Josh, that’s when you could really make out the distinct difference between the two boys. You weren’t sure if what Josh was saying was truthful, he was harder to read than Peter and even though his mouth was saying one thing, you could see that there was some pain behind his brown eyes that told a different story. 

Yet nonetheless, you admired that Josh, despite having the full right to completely guilt you and make you feel like shit because of what happened, still chose to put any malicious intent aside for your own good.  

“ Is it okay if I hug you?” You asked as Josh returned a sweet smile, embracing you in his strong arms. 

Despite the heaviness in Josh’s chest, he felt his heart flutter at the feeling of your body pressed against his. The hug was short but even in those few seconds, Josh felt himself trying to take a mental picture of this moment, something he would replay over and over as he did his best to get over you. 

After Josh had left, you made your way back into your cave and hid out in your room for the rest of the night. You had school first thing in the morning and yet, you found yourself tossing and turning yet again. 

To cure your restless mind, you left your room and headed into the kitchen to make tea. You were never the type to drink tea but you didn’t have the patience to just lay in bed, at least this way you were occupying your mind with something else.

As the water boiled, you kept your eyes on Peter’s bedroom door, your knee bouncing up and down as if you were anticipating him opening it. You wondered how he was feeling, considering he almost died and all.

You just wished you could have the confidence to just go up and talk to him, to admit that it was him all along and that you chose him. 

You poured the tea into a mug and cradled it in your hands carefully as a pair of feet made their way into the kitchen. You turned around, anticipating Peter’s face but instead, you looked up to see your dad.

“ You didn’t hear it from me but Peter is up on the roof waiting for you. Just in case if you were wondering,” Tony said as he nonchalantly dragged his finger across the countertop and peeked his head towards your tea,” aren’t you glad I made you learn CPR? I know it was part of your lifeguard course but I’m glad it came in handy.”

“  Too soon,” You sighed as you watched your dad haphazardly look through the cupboards,” and I wasn’t wondering about Peter. I’m just minding my own business and then I’m heading to bed.”

“ Minding your own business? That’s not the Y/N I know.”

“ Well, what would the Y/N you know do?” You asked as you looked down at the inside of your mug,” am I supposed to just run over to the roof and profess my love for him?” 

Tony furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head,” I never said anything about love kiddo but the Y/N I know loves to talk so yeah, I expect some emotional reunion of the sort. You’ve always been known to be a bit theatrical.”

“ And who do you think I get that from?”

“ The one and only Potts,” Tony chuckled as a small smile crept onto your lips,” I don’t know what to say because I don’t think I can bring myself to give my daughter relationship advice about a guy who lives only a few doors down. If anything, it’s against my best interest but I will make this the one exception where I will intervene simply because if I don’t, no one else will. I think you should talk to Peter. He’s been through a lot and he has some things he needs to talk to you about.”

” Well he’s the one avoiding me so maybe he should come over and say it to my face,” You didn’t know why you turned so aggressive but you took a small sip of your tea to try and ease your nerves,” I know he’s been through a lot but we both have. That night of the party was just...too much for me. ”

“ You really are my daughter, always making it about you. You gotta give the kid a break.”

“ I- Dad it is all about me. That night fucking-not sorry- sucked and I don’t know what else to say. I jumped into a pool with my clothes on and I thought Peter was dead-”

“ But he’s not dead. He’s alive and breathing and waiting for you on the roof like I told you,” Tony interrupted as you exhaled slowly,” you love him, it’s a fathers worst nightmare but even I can see clear as day that you have feelings for him, are you going to tell me I’m wrong?”

You liked to think you knew yourself better than anyone else and for the most part, it was true. Tony was probably the closest to knowing who you really were as a person and yet, everything he was saying still wasn’t enough to make you less paranoid.

“ I wouldn’t say you’re wrong but I’m too scared to say out loud that you’re right,” You said as Tony rolled his eyes,” what? What did I say?”

“ You love to talk and yet, you never say enough. I don’t have the patience to stand here and listen to you beat around the bush,” Tony kneeled down towards one of the cupboards and grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the shelf,” you have a problem. Let me know how things go with Peter. Or don’t. I’ll find out anyway.”

You stood there, mouth wide open as you watched Tony playfully bump into your shoulder, what a bastard,” Yeah sure! You’re the one drinking at three am but I’m the problem?”

Tony only gave you a hasty wave before turning the corner to where the elevators were, leaving you alone in the kitchen. He was right, everything he was saying made perfect sense and yet, it annoyed you on how right he was.

You had absolutely no idea how to start a conversation with Peter now that you were sure of your feelings and yet, all you wanted to do was find him and reveal everything to him. You looked between your bedroom door and the elevators. You could either go back to bed or you could talk to Peter and nervously choke on your words like a schoolgirl.

Fuck no.

You walked over to your room with your mug in one hand but before you could open the door, your legs started to move in the direction of the elevators, seemingly with a mind of their own.

Fuck it.

You stepped into the elevator and made your way up the floors until you hit the roof access. You hardly spent any of your time on the roof since you had no reason to ever be up there in the first place but once you opened the door,  you were immediately taken aback.

The greenroof took up almost half of the roof itself, the addition being nothing more than a general garden area to look aesthetically pleasing from the sky. Since most of the energy needed to run the facility was either solar or space related, the greenroof was more of a private garden that didn’t account for energy efficiency.

A mixture of moss and summer grass covered the roof in a thick blanket that never grew beyond the border of the garden and at first glance, the brightly freckled flowers planted along the pathway seemed random but as you walked down the graveled path, you could tell that there was some element of planning that went along with it.

Along the pathway stood different hues of green bonsai trees that stood tall and proud in their wooden boxes. You were so focused on the bonsais that you didn’t notice Peter sitting on one of the benches about a couple of yards away.

Your breath hitched in your throat but your feet continued to crunch along the graveled pathway as you made your way over to him. From Peter’s spot underneath the patio, he could hear you walking towards him but kept his eyes looking straight forward, unable to tear them away from the cityscape in the far distance.

You hesitantly took a seat beside Peter on the wooden bench and tucked your legs back so you could rest the mug on your thigh. The lights that Peter had strung up a few weeks back had lost it’s brightness, leaving behind a faded orange glow in its place but it was just the right amount of light needed to where you could read his expression carefully.

“ How are you feeling?” You asked quietly as you attempted to get a feel for what mindset Peter was in.

“ Good, I feel good,” Peter said back, almost quieter than the volume you started out with,” how are you feeling?”

While both of your minds were racing at the thought of the other person, the thoughts suddenly felt almost too personal, the atmosphere being instantly filled with the conversations you two weren’t having.

Out of the two of you, Peter felt like he had more to share and yet, more to hide. You were still completely clueless on the following; A) Peter was cured B) You cured him because of the kiss and C) He loved you back

It seemed like a dream come true, Peter was still in love with you without the lovedust and you felt the same way towards him and yet, he was still terrified. As everything began to feel more and more real, suddenly the idea of being with you made his chest tighten up.

He never knew if he could ever admit it outloud but he was scared that you liked him back because what if after all this time, after all the trials and tribulation the two of you had gone through, what if you two still didn’t work out?

There was so much history between the two of you and he was worried that all of the heartbreak and pining wouldn’t be worth it in the end. He loved you so much to where he knew that he needed you no matter what. It only hurt him more to think that from your last argument, you couldn’t even bring yourself to admit to him that you loved him. 

Now that you were here in front of him, Peter would make sure you wouldn’t leave without hearing you say it back. 

As Peter tried to carefully put his thoughts in order like he had practiced, you thought back to what your dad had told you and decided that you needed to start somewhere and you had to do that by being honest.

“ I’ve been struggling these last couple of days with what happened at the party. I can’t tell how you guilty I feel for putting you through so much pain and I wish I could take it all back. I feel so guilty because it was my fault you died- did you know that? I know the paramedics talked to you but you were dead for three minutes Peter and honestly, that was one of the worst moments of my life. I mean it’s up there with what happened to my parents,” You paused as you remembered to take a breath,” I don’t know what I would’ve done if something had happened to you.”

Peter felt his mouth dry up and for a moment, it was hard to swallow,” You didn’t kill me, you saved me. I still feel like I might be in shock from it all but I don’t blame you for anything that happened. I’m sorry I even put you through that cause I’m sure it was...a lot. But don’t ever say that you killed me, none of it was your fault.”

“ It was my fault. If it wasn’t for me and Josh-,” You stopped yourself before saying more. You didn’t want to talk about Josh, all you cared about was Peter but now, the thought was evident in Peter’s mind and he couldn’t seem to shake it out of him.

The image of you kissing Josh replayed in Peter’s head over and over again as his heart ached. Josh made things more complicated than they already were.

Peter’s biggest fear was losing you but to lose you to another guy? And yet, it still made Peter feel like he was between a rock and a hard place because Peter had only meant Josh on one occasion and it was enough to give Peter an idea that Josh didn’t have cruel intentions towards you.

Just because you loved Peter didn’t mean that you didn’t have feelings for Josh and that’s what made Peter crazy. You must’ve liked Josh enough to return the kiss right?

“ He’s a good guy, I see why you like him,” Peter finally said as he shifted awkwardly in his seat, not knowing what else to say,” he would make you happy.”

The comment shakes you in an uncomfortable way, was that supposed to make you feel better? Your annoyance was jealousy in disguise, you didn’t want to talk about Josh, you were here to tell Peter how you actually felt about him but because of how Peter was delivering it, it seemed like he was giving you an out.

“ It’s not- I don’t like Josh like that.”

“ You kissed him, I saw the whole thing. Do you just go around kissing people you supposedly don’t like?” Peter couldn’t help himself and let the words slip out so easily.

It was a low blow and the two of you both knew it. 

It took every fiber of your being not to lash out at the accusation because you knew Peter had a right to be upset but you didn’t like what he was insinuating and you didn’t want the conversation to take a bad turn,” You don’t have to worry about Josh anymore. If you want me to be honest, yes, I thought there was something there but things changed. I came to talk to you because my dad said you needed to tell me something important but if you’re going to just sit here and belittle me, I’m not gonna take it. I get it, the lovedust is messing with your emotions but I’m extremely sensitive tonight, more than usual so just come back to me when you’re calm.”

You got up from your seat with a quickness but before you could step off the patio, Peter grabbed your wrist and pulled you back towards the corner of the bench.

Peter felt like such an idiot, whenever he got anxious on the fine details, he had a tendency to let the big picture escape him but it was something he knew he needed to work on while he was around you. He wasn’t going to let the conversation die just before it had started, he knew his big mouth tended to escalate conversations with you but he couldn’t let you go, not this time.

“ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m just frustrated because this feels so one-sided. I never know what you’re thinking because you never tell me anything. You always avoid answering the question but I need more,” Peter practically begged as you felt yourself get a bit aggravated,” I am being calm but I’m desperate at this point. I need to know how you feel about me, don’t try to change the subject, I need to know. Tell me how I make you feel.”

Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth as you pulled your hand away from Peter so you could regain your thoughts without him distracting you. You were suddenly chickening out, you had never felt so nervous in your entire life and you wanted to tell him how much you loved him. You wanted to tell him what he wanted to hear but it wasn’t easy taking a step forward when you don't know where your foot will fall.

“ This is hard for me Peter, I’m trying my best and I’m sorry if it isn’t good enough but ever since the lovedust, the dynamic is different and you’ve changed. It’s so much to get used to because of...how I feel towards you,” You said as Peter let out a frustrated breath.

He hated this feeling of going back and forth, he didn’t want to hear any of it. All he wanted was to just shake your shoulders because in his mind, you had no reason to be hesitant on opening up to him,” The lovedust didn’t change just me, it changed you too! I was vulnerable and I opened up to you, I showed you how I felt about you every second of the day but you have given me nothing!”

Nothing.

That word made your blood boil because nothing? Just because it was hard for you to let your emotions out didn’t mean Peter was getting nothing back in return. Since he was infected with the lovedust, you had been doing your best to open yourself more to him and you thought you had been doing a good job.

After all those years of Peter belittling you and tearing you down, of course, you would be a bit hesitant to let down your guard and yet, you did it anyway. It took so much to get to where you were comfortable with Peter to be vulnerable, especially when you broke down from your nightmare of your parents.

To break down and crumble in front of Peter wasn’t an accident, you could only be that vulnerable if you knew that he could help piece you back together.

“ Nothing? I gave you nothing?” You spat as you felt your eyes tear up,” I saved your life! I gave you the breath in my lungs to stop you from dying! I don’t owe you anything, I don’t need to prove shit to you!”

Peter stood up from the bench and while his heart ached from seeing you so upset, he knew that he couldn’t hold back,” Don’t pull that with me Y/N, you know you haven’t been honest with me. We both know that we can’t live without the other so don’t act like you did me a favor by saving me. Why won’t you admit it, even after everything we’ve been through, you’re still scared to just admit that you might love me!”

And just like that, you felt yourself let go.

“Of course I’m scared! I’m fucking terrified Peter! Is that what you want me to say? Do you want me to admit that me almost losing you would’ve broken me? Because you’re right! Yes, I love you!” You cried out as you took in a shaky breath,” I love you so much it hurts me and I didn’t understand how badly I loved you until I almost lost you! All I could think about when I was trying to save you was never hearing your laugh and never feeling your touch and I swear Peter, if you died, I would’ve never forgiven myself. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it but I love you.  But none of it matters, you know why? Because you’re sick in the head, the lovedust is fucking with you and now it’s fucking with me!”

There it was, finally. After all of that time denying it and trying to hide your feelings to save your own sanity, you finally confessed. You had so many chances to confess that yes, it really was him all along. 

When he came into your room and comforted you through your nightmare to the two of you shouting at each other in the rain, you had always loved him. 

Even though Peter knew how you felt about him, this was the first time he heard it with his own ears and it was like hearing the symphony for the first time. Like your own soundtrack that swelled during the climax of the movie that was you and Peter, Peter could listen to you say it over and over again.

He didn’t care that most of your confession involved a string of swear words because, without them, it wouldn’t have been your true self. He knew once he admitted to you that he was cured, there would be no going back.

“ The lovedust is gone Y/N. When you kissed me- or saved me by giving mouth to mouth- the lovedust flushed out of my system completely. Banner did extra tests and he confirmed that I’m okay and back to normal all because of you.”

Your heart dropped to the floor as your eyes raked up Peter, testing to see if he was lying but he didn’t falter. This is what you were afraid of, confessing everything to him only to find out that he didn’t love you anymore but who would’ve thought it would be you to make him go back to normal.

And yet, a huge part of you was relieved because finally, the lovedust was gone. You didn’t need to worry about it ever screwing with you and Peter again but as you studied his expression, your chest felt heavy.  

You had seemingly set up your own demise,” Oh, that’s good...I’m happy for you.”

You felt yourself take a step back but Peter reached his hand out to softly hold yours. You pulled your hand away but Peter swatted your stubbornness away and held your hand tighter. He rubbed his thumb over your knuckles and when he looked back up at you, he felt his heart swell.

“ And yet, even though the pain is gone, I feel more love for you now than I have ever felt in my entire life. I understand what they mean when they say love hurts but if anything, it heals even more because you made me feel whole again. When you saved me and the first thing I saw was you looking back at me, it was like I was given a second chance to love you the right way, the way you were meant to be loved.”

“You were right, the lovedust made me fall in love with you but ever since you cured me, it was only a matter of admitting to myself that deep down, I’ve always cared about you. It opened my eyes and showed me that I will never have to look further in finding the one for me because you are everything and more,” Peter said as you moved your eyes from the floor to his figure,” I love you. I mean it. No exceptions, no strings attached, no lovedust required.”

Right then and there, you were at a loss for everything you could possibly hold; no words, no breath, no thoughts. Any resentment you held had shattered into microscopic pieces that would dissolve once crushed between something as delicate as your fingertips because he said everything you wanted to hear.

“ You love me?” You said quietly to where Peter made you repeat yourself,” Are you serious? Do you really mean it?”

Peter nodded and softly let out an ‘ of course I do’ as he brushed his fingers lightly over your cheek. He cupped your face gently with one hand as his thumb wiped away a stray tear,” Can I finally kiss you?”  

Peter’s cheeks grew red as you nodded and leaned into his touch, innocently brushing your lips against his. Peter dipped his head down to close the space between the two of you and kissed you so softly, you had to pull him closer to you to actually kiss him back.

Even though Peter was the one who asked, he felt completely unprepared kissing you back. He had imagined over and over how warm your lips would be against his but now that he was actually kissing you, he didn’t think he had enough self-control to ever stop kissing you.

You never knew a kiss could be innocent and yet so intimate but as his lips moved in perfect sync, any other logistics of the feeling went away because all you could think about was Peter. You practically melted into his touch but before you could savor the kiss, Peter pulled away breathless.

“ S-Sorry, I forgot to breathe,” Peter gushed as you smiled back up at him,” what does this mean for us now?”

You traced your finger along Peter’s wrist as you thought quietly,” I don’t know but we can figure it out together.”

Peter hummed happily before dipping his head down to kiss you and when he pulled away, he fell himself falling in love with you all over again.

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[cryingcow]

Mine & Daigo - Kirin’s Dream [RGGO]

To celebrate Y3 soon becoming available on the PC, have some RGGO-approved MineDai angst :D This 2-part Event is different from the previous ones I translated, because instead of scratchcard/lottery tickets, the goal is beating Mine up 100 times!

It’s not necessary to understand this, but if you haven’t read it, check out Mine’s Character Story because that’s where they first become drinking buddies :D

(Just look at this weirdly-textured taxi that Mine left Daigo! )

Mine: “I’m giving you all my taxi companies in my will, Daigo-san, because I love you.”

Daigo: “Haha, you mean like family, right? :D ”

 Note: “惚れこん” according to the various dictionaries I’ve checked means “fell in love with”, “is charmed by”, “deeply admire”, or “has a strong attachment to”. I went with “enamored” because that seemed like a good blanket word for all that. (Just saying this before someone accuses me of purposely making this shippy XD ). Also, the “hot” that Daigo says is “temperature hot”. I’m leaving it as is because the last time I tried wording it as “burning hot”, it just ended up sounding more suggestive lol

 .

PROLOGUE

.

|March 2009. A few hours before Kiryu and Mine have their final battle . . .|

Mine: “How soon before we arrive at Toto University Hospital?”

Hakuho Clan Member: “I think we’ll be there in about 15 minutes.”

Mine: “I see.”

{Mine’s phone rings.}

Mine: “Hello, this is Mine.”

Richardson: “It’s me, Richardson. Have you arrived in Tokyo yet?”

Mine: “Yeah, I just came back from Okinawa. I’m heading now to Toto University Hospital where Chairman Dojima is hospitalized, based from your information.”

Richardson: “ O  K  . Do you know what to do once you get to the hospital?”

Mine: “Of course. I will end Chairman Dojima by my hands. Afterwards, I will take over the development plan of Okinawa as the successor of the Tojo Clan. You can do as you wish.”

Richardson: “Very well. But I worry if you can actually do it.”

Mine: “What?”

Richardson: “You were very fond of Dojima Daigo. More than anyone I’ve ever met. Is it really possible to have a change of heart right before you kill?”

Mine: “. . . A bedridden Dojima Daigo is useless as long as he is alive. I’ll pull the curtain close on him. That’s all there is.”

{The phone call ends.}

Mine: “. . .”

Hakuho Clan Member: “Um, Chairman Mine?”

Mine: “What?”

Hakuho Clan Member: “Do you really want to kill Chairman Dojima?”

Mine: “. . .”

Hakuho Clan Member: “Though you told Richardson otherwise, I’m well aware that you are enamored with Chairman Dojima. Can you really do it once you arrive at the hospital?”

Mine: “You talk too much. Shut up.”

Hakuho Clan Member: “Pardon me . . .”

{The car keeps driving until Mine spots a certain bar outside.}

Mine: “! . . . Oi, park the car.”

Hakuho Clan Member: “Eh? But we’re not at the hospital yet?”

Mine: “It’s fine, stop here.”

{The car stops.}

Mine: “. . . I didn’t think I’d pass here by chance. I’m going out alone for a while. You guys stay in the car.”

Hakuho Clan Member: “Understood.”

----

Bartender: “Welcome . . . what’s this? Isn’t this Mine-san?”

Mine: “It’s been a long time, bartender.”

Bartender: “It’s rare for you to come alone. Usually you’re with Chairman Dojima.”

Mine: “I happened to go past the bar so I stopped by. I wanted a moment to think in a calm place . . .”

Bartender: “Is that so. I heard that the Tojo Clan is having a lot of trouble due to the shooting of Chairman Dojima. So please take your time. Mine-san’s favorite is bourbon, right?”

Mine: “Yeah. Please give me one drink.”

----

Mine: “Phew . . . thank you for the break.”

Bartender: “So, is Daigo-san safe?”

Mine: “. . . No. He still hasn’t regained consciousness after getting shot.”

Bartender: “Is that right. I hope he’ll get well soon so you can drink together again.”

Mine: “. . .”

Mine: “Thank you, bartender. Thanks to the drink, I’m able to calm down. I’ll be taking my leave . . .”

Bartender: “. . . Mine-san. Wait a minute. Can you take a look at this?”

Mine: “What is it? What about that bottle?”

Bartender: “This bottle was previously brought by Chairman Dojima, asking me to store it in the bar.”

Mine: “Chairman Dojima?”

Bartender: “Yeah. When the Chairman brought this liquor, he said this: ‘I got some good liquor, so please store it here so I can drink it with Mine next time.’”

Mine: “!”

Bartender: “That person really thinks of the Tojo Clan as his own family. Even when he comes here to drink alone, that’s all he talks about. Talking with worry or with pride . . . Of course, he talks about you often.”

Mine: “Chairman is . . . what is the Chairman saying about me?”

Bartender: “’Is he being too careful in front of me? Is Mine’s impression of money really okay? I’m just worried. Still, there is no one in the Tojo Clan now as reliable as he is.’ . . . is what I remember him saying.”

Mine: “The Chairman said all that . . .”

Bartender: “Even if he is unconscious now, Chairman Dojima will wake up and be able to come back someday. Mine-san thinks so too, right?”

Mine: “. . . . . . I believe in that person’s return . . . is there a way to wait, I wonder?”

Bartender: “Hm? Did you say something?”

Mine: “. . . No, it’s nothing.”

{Mine’s phone rings.}

Mine: “Hello, this is Mine.”

Richardson: “Richardson. New information about Kiryu Kazuma has been obtained. Apparently he has also learned about Dojima Daigo’s whereabouts. It seems he is heading there from Okinawa now.”

Mine: “! Kiryu is going to Chairman Dojima too . . . Alright. I’ll be at the hospital soon.”

{The phone call ends.}

Bartender: “What happened, Mine-san? You made a scary face . . .”

Mine: “. . . Thank you very much for telling me all this, bartender. It’s time for me to go. I’ll drop by the bar again soon.”

Bartender: “Ah~ I’m sorry, Mine-san. This bar is about to close down.”

Mine: “Really?”

Bartender: “Yes. Sales have been scarce these days, so I’ve been thinking if it was time to withdraw. That’s why I finally served this bottle. I was wondering if you would like to drink it for Chairman Dojima as well.”

Mine: “. . . No. The Chairman prepared that bottle to drink together with me. I can’t drink it alone.”

Bartender: “Is that so. But now there’s a problem. I can’t leave this as it is . . .”

Mine: “. . . Bartender. Regarding that, I have a suggestion.”

Bartender: “A suggestion?”

----

Hakuho Clan Member: “We’ve been waiting for you Chairman. The car is waiting on the street. Please go this way.”

Mine: “Heh. What I did . . . I had a faint little dream.”

Hakuho Clan Member: “Chairman?”

Mine: “It’s nothing. Kiryu is heading to Toto University Hospital. We’ll snuff him out together with Chairman Dojima.  . . . Let’s go.”

.

-END-

.

EPILOGUE

.

|A few weeks after the end of the decisive battle between Mine Yoshitaka and Kiryu Kazuma.|

Tojo Clan Member: “Congratulations on your discharge, Chairman Dojima.”

Daigo: “Yeah, thank you.”

Tojo Clan Member: “The car will pick you up by the entrance. Please head there . . .”

----

Daigo: “. . .”

Tojo Clan Member: “What’s wrong, Chairman? Even though you’ve been discharged from the hospital, you’re wearing a heavier look on your face. Are you still feeling ill?”

Daigo: “No . . . I still can’t believe it. That Mine could have caused such an incident . . .”

Tojo Clan Member: “I see, is it about Mine Yoshitaka? The Chairman believed that man to be like family. But he tried to kill the Chairman.  . . . An unforgivable traitor, if you ask me.”

Daigo: “The Mine I knew was serious and wise, yet he is a hot man at his core. Why did Mine do such a thing . . . Was the Mine I knew the ‘real Mine’?”

Tojo Clan Member: “Chairman . . .”

Daigo: “I’m sorry. Change your destination.”

Tojo Clan Member: “Eh? But the Tojo Clan Headquarters is preparing to celebrate your discharge . . .”

Daigo: “It’s bad, but I feel like drinking alone now. Head to my usual bar.”

Tojo Clan Member: “Understood. If the Chairman says so . . .”

----

Daigo: “Long time no see, bartender.”

Bartender: “Ah, well if it isn’t Chairman Dojima! Has your body already recovered?”

Daigo: “Yeah, I left the hospital today. So I came here for a drink.”

Bartender: “Is it okay to be discharged from the hospital and drink alcohol so soon?”

Daigo: “The alcohol I drink here is better for my body than the medicine I was drinking at the hospital.”

Bartender: “Heh, alright. Would you like your usual for now?”

Daigo: “Yes, please.”

----

Daigo: “Phew~ . . . the alcohol soaks into my throat after a long time.”

Daigo: “. . .”

Bartender: “Something wrong?”

Daigo: “I was thinking about Mine . . .”

Bartender: “Is that so. I heard he died.”

Daigo: “I was thinking the whole time I was hospitalized. What kind of man was Mine, really . . . I’ve always believed him to be family. But what was I to him . . . I still don’t understand it.”

Bartender: “So that’s what’s troubling you. Chairman Dojima . . . actually, Mine-san had come to this bar by himself before he died.”

Daigo: “What? What did you two talk about?”

Bartender: “We talked a lot. About how you thought of the Tojo Clan as your family . . . We also talked about this bottle that you brought.”

Daigo: “. . . Oh, is that the bottle I asked you to set aside for me to drink with Mine?”

Bartender: “I told you this before, that I’ve been thinking of closing this bar soon due to financial difficulties.”

Daigo: “Yeah.”

Bartender: “But if the bar closes, I can’t keep this bottle in here. That’s why I decided to have Mine-san drink it, and at the time I served him this bottle. However, Mine-san didn’t drink it. ‘The bottle was prepared by the Chairman to drink with me, I cannot drink it alone,’ he said.”

Daigo: “. . . that sounds just like Mine.”

Bartender: “So when I was wondering what to do with this bottle, Mine-san offered a suggestion.”

Daigo: “A suggestion?”

Bartender: “’I’ll buy the bar and help you, so don’t close it down,’ he told me.”

Daigo: “! Why did Mine make such a proposal?”

Bartender: “At the time, Mine also said: ‘This place has my last memories of drinking with Daigo-san . . . so I want to keep it around forever.’”

Daigo: “Mine did that . . . . . . Thank you, bartender. It was nice listening to Mine’s story. So with Mine gone, are you planning to close down the bar after all?”

Bartender: “No, I decided not to close down the bar.”

Daigo: “Eh?”

Bartender: “Mine-san and Daigo-san . . . I thought it would be a bit hard to bear to lose the place of your memories. I’ve found a bank that would loan to me, so I’ll keep it going.”

Daigo: “I see . . . Thank you very much, bartender.”

Bartender: “So, Chairman Dojima. What will happen to the bottle you were supposed to drink with Mine-san? Do I open it here so you can drink it now?”

Daigo: “. . . No, don’t. If Mine didn’t drink it, then leave it as is.”

Bartender: “Understood. Then I’ll put it back on the shelf.”

Daigo: “. . . Really . . . so he was the same one I knew until the end . . .”

Daigo: “. . . You’re a big idiot . . . . . . Mine . . . !!”

.

-END-

Masterlist

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, MORE BLOOD Vol.13 Kino [Track 2]

Original title: 寒冷

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, More Blood Vol. 13 Kino [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here (15:28 ~ 29:54)

Seiyuu: Tomoaki Maeno

Translator’s note: I was already kind of curious about the contents of this track from reading the title, but as soon as the MC returned from the cafeteria with a popsicle, I already knew what was going to happen. I can really imagine the struggles of having a boyfriend like Kino who loves pulling pranks on you. Although compared to some of the other stuff the boys have done to her, being teased with a popsicle isn’t even all that bad. Seeing him try and make it up to her afterwards made for a cute moment as well.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 2: Coldness

“ーー And then I ended up arguing with Yuuri over who is correct. What do you think? Which one of us was right?”

You hesitate.

“Seems like you’re having trouble answering my question. Don’t hold back and just tell me. In return, I’ll punish you if you don’t say it was me.”

You frown.

“You’re struggling that much? Guess I have no other choice. I’ll give you some time. Try and come up with an answer by the end of classes today.”

The two of you come to a halt.

“...So, is this the classroom we had to move to? (1)”

You explain.

“The science lab, huh? It’s really such a pain that science classes take place in a different classroom. Oh well, guess it’s fine. Hurry up and open the door.”

*Rattle*

“...Hm? What’s wrong? You’re not going inside?”

You close the door again.

“...Eh? Why did you close the door again? Don’t we have class here?”

You tell him it’s the wrong room.

“Haah!? Who goes to the wrong classroom!? Unlike me, you’ve been going to this school for quite some time, right?”

You apologize.

“Honestly...I don’t know whether you’re just slow-witted or if you actually have a few screws loose...”

You seem confused.

“Eh? What’s weird?”

You tell him there seem to be more doors than usual.

“What are you saying? You’re just imagining things, no? There’s no way the number of doors would suddenly increase. Doesn’t it just feel that way? It’s no good to try and blame your own mistakes on someone or something else. Also, that barely makes for a decent excuse.”

You insist.

*Dingー Dongー ・ Dingー Dongー*

“Ah-aaah...Right, right. There’s more doors than usual, huh? Anyway, the bell of the next period just rang. We won’t make it in time for our class so what should we do?”

You frown.

“Well, if we’re confirmed late, might as well say ‘screw it’, right?

You tilt your head to the side.

“You know, let’s just skip class.”

You protest.

“If we go now, we’ll just get scolded for being late, right? So why not? ...Come on, this way! Let’s go!”

Kino drags you along.

*TIMESKIP*

“Fufufu~ I’m almost done with this quest...”

*Tap tap*

“Ahー But before that, I have to use this item.”

*Tap tap*

“Hm? What do you want? I’m busy playing my game right now.”

You seem anxious to get in trouble for skipping.

“You’re still worried about that? We already skipped class, so there’s nothing we can do about it now.”

*Tap tap*

“Isn’t spending time out on the rooftop during class something you have to do at least once while you’re young? We’re here now anyway, so you should try and have some fun as well.”

You frown.

“No buts! ...Ah, I get it.  You end up having unnecessary worries because you’re bored, no? In that case, I’ll give you something to do.”

You tilt your head to the side.

“There’s a cafeteria on campus where you can purchase food and such, right? Go buy me something there.”

You ask him what to get.

“Hmー Let’s see...What to choose? ...Then, how about you get something you think I’d like?”

You want him to be a little more specific.

“What would that be? The whole point is that you figure it out.”

You whine.

“It’s not difficult, is it? If you’ve been keeping a close eye on me, it should be a piece of cake! ...Pick the thing that would make me the most happy! Alsoーー”

*Rustle*

“You better not keep me waiting, so I expect you back here in ten minutes, okay? If you’re even one second late...You’ll get a pentalty.”

You flinch.

“Come on. Hurry up.”

You run away.

*TIMESKIP*

*Creaaak*

“Ah! You’re finally back...!”

You ask if you made it back in time.

“Haah? What are you saying? You didnt even come close to making it back on time. Just how far did you have to go for those?”

You explain.

“You got lost? You’ve been a student at this academy for a while, haven’t you? That doesn’t make any sense. Stop making those lousy excuses.”

You try and defend yourself.

“Hmm~? So you got the location of the cafeteria wrong? I guess you went down the wrong stairs or something? Oh well, whatever. More importantly, hurry up and hand it over. You obviously got one of my favorites, right?”

*Rustle rustle*

“...Eh? That?”

You nod.

“Ice cream...? Haah...”

You frown, asking him if he doesn’t like ice cream

“It’s not that ice cream’s bad or anything but...Why didn’t you get me guava juice? You know that I like it, don’t you?”

You tell him that wasn’t an option.

“Haah!? They don’t sell it here!? They really should reconsider their line-up then. But that doesn’t matter, does it? Not only did you make me wait forever, and on top of that, you weren’t able to buy something which would make me happy. Fufu~”

*Rustle*

“This calls...for a punishment.”

You protest.

“No point in fighting back. ...Come here.”

Kino pulls you close.

“Gotcha. When I’m holding you tightly from behind like this, you can no longer get away, can you? That being said, this ice cream has been well chilled. I’m sure it would feel extremely cold if I were to press it against your skin. For example...Against the back of your nape.”

*Rustle*

You flinch.

“You’re already reacting that strongly from just slightly brushing it across? I wonder what would happen if I were to slip it inside your clothes then? Aren’t you curious?”

You shake your head.

“Oh come on~ No need to be modest. Come on...”

*Rustle*

He presses the ice cream against your bare skin as you shriek.

“...Ahaha! Did you hear yourself just now? Well, I guess it would feel cold and disgusting to have an entire popsicle slide down your back. Ah-aah...Your uniform’s a mess as well.”

You call him out for bullying you.

“I’m not being mean, am I? It’s a punishment after all. Besides, that scream just now wasn’t half bad, you know? I’d love to hear it one more time.”

You tell him the ice cream has already melted.

“Guess so. You didn’t buy more than one popsicle after all. ...But you know, I have this.”

*Cling*

“If we use the hourglass to reload, the ice cream and your uniform will return to their original state. You should be grateful.

*Tick tock - Tick tock - Tick tock - Tick tock*

ーーー

*Creaaak*

“Ah! You’re finally back...! ...Hehe, you gave the exact same reaction as earlier. Why are you looking around in confusion? I told you I would reload, didn’t I? Time got turned back. You remember what happened earlier, don’t you?”

Kino approaches you.

“Exactly. Seems like you properly recall. I pulled you close like this...”

*Rustle*

“...And played with you using this popsicle you bought, didn’t I?”

*Rustle rustle*

“Say...There’s something I’m curious about. I can test it out, right? You already know just how cold this ice cream is. The chilled sensation from having it directly pressed up against your skin. So I was wondering...How will your body react if I repeat the same action one more time, now that you’re already well aware of how it’ll feel?”

You try and get away.

*Rustle rustle*

“...Woah there! You better don’t think I’ll let you get away!”

He grabs hold of your wrist.

“...There. Gotcha.”

*Rustle rustle*

“No point in resisting. There’s just no way you could get away from me after all.”

Kino opens the popsicle.

“There we go~ It’s time for the ice cream you’ve just been dying for~ If I run it across your nape like this...”

You flinch.

“Exactly. You can feel it even stronger when you already know what to expect, don’t you? I wonder if it’s your brain playing tricks on you...?”

*Rustle*

“...Hm? What? Throwing in the towel already? Guess I have no other choice. In that case, I’ll warm you up next.”

*Sluuuurp*

“Hm...The taste of this popsicle is pretty mediocre. I don’t think I could finish the whole thing. The person who bought it should take responsibility and eat it all instead. Here you go.”

He forces the popsicle inside your mouth.

“You’re whining was starting to annoying me, so this works perfectly. Keep it in between your teeth for a bit, okay? Meanwhile I’ll dig into this to cleanse my palate. In the end, it seems like I...”

*Rustle*

“...enjoy this the very best. mmh...”

Kino bites you.

*Gulp gulp gulp*

“Nn...You like this too, don’t you? The whimpers slipping through...They’re different compared to when I teased you earlier. They’re sweet yet sorrowful. Almost as if you’re begging for me.”

*Rustle*

“Let me hear more of those...”

*Rustle*

“...Ah!”

You drop the popsicle.

*Splatter*

“Ah-aah...The popsicle fell down. Your skirt’s a mess now as well.”

You apologize.

“Why are you saying sorry? Ahー Because you dropped it? I don’t care, really. ー Wait, what’s with that face? You’re in tears. Your lips are all sticky from the ice cream as well. I’ll wipe you clean, so look this way.”

You turn around.

*Rustle rustle*

“Perhaps I took my teasings a little too far? ...Were you scared?”

You nod.

“I see. ...Fufu. You’re such a crybaby, how cute~”

*Smooch*

“There, all clean. Now cheer up, okay? You don’t want things to become awkward between us, do you? I guess that leaves your skirt...Honestly, it’s kind of a drag, so would you like me to turn back time to before you dropped the popsicle?”

You ask him if it’s okay. 

“Of course I don’t mind. ...But in return, I might mess with you again~”

You protest.

“I’m just kidding. Let’s kill some time together until classes end? Ah! But don’t get the wrong idea, okay? I’ll still use the hourglass. ...Well then, how should we enjoy ourselves next~?”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) At Japanese high schools, students stay in the same classroom for 90% of the classes. For some subjects like science, art, etc. they may move to a different classroom which has the right facilities and material. These are called 移動教室 or ‘idō-kyōshitsu’. 

[myhockeyworld87]

Ruined - Jamie Benn - Part 8

Word Count: 4,412

POV: Jamie

Warnings: Language, Angst

Recap: Things were going well for our high school sweethearts, that was until a backyard BBQ party. Our reader heard Caitlyn and Sara talking about her relationship with Jamie, and what she heard didn’t sit well. Let’s see if everything will be ruined or not?

Notes: So here we are the final chapter (though there will be an epilogue). Thank you guys so much for being patient with me on this one. I fully expet that this will not get any notes or reblogs but I seriously don’t care. I know that some of you really wanted to see how this story ended and I wanted to give you that. I loved this story from the start and I wasn’t just not going to end it. For those of you that are upset that I wrote this, please refrain from coming in my inbox at me, I’ve worked over 30 hours in 2 days and don’t need your hate this week. (Also if there are typos that’s why, my proofing suffered) At any rate, I hope those of you that do read it enjoy watching the pieces all fall together. As always Happy Reading!!! 

MASTERLIST

Sidenote: Also (Y/NN) = Your Nickname (Y/LN) = Your Last Name

"Hey Segs, have you seen (Y/N)?"

 Tyler cocked his head back before answering you. "Really? You're not attached to her side?" You didn't feel the need to respond and instead just gave him a death glare. Tyler just clasped your shoulder and drew you close to him. "Come on Chubbs, I'm just teasing, but you haven't let her out of your sight all night. It's kind of cute." You wanted to argue, but you might have kept her in your line of vision since the moment she got here, except when she was off with Jessi. Which is who you should be looking for since that's who (Y/N) had last been talking to.

 You tried to move out of Tyler's grasp to do just that, but the man continued on. "I mean it, man. I haven't seen you like this before. I'm really happy for you."

 "Thanks, Seggy." Most of your teammates felt the same way. They liked (Y/N), but then what was not to like. She was smart, funny, outgoing, and beautiful, and on top of that, she was a brilliant and talented doctor. Damn, you were lucky that she had given you another chance. There was no way you were going to screw this one up.

 "There she is," Tyler pointed out, bringing you out of your musings. "And there she goes." He added as (Y/N) literally headed out the front door. You were striding towards the door before you even had time to think about it. You tried to calm your racing heart, telling yourself that maybe she'd spilled something on her clothes and that she was going home to change, or that she'd suddenly remembered she'd left the curling iron on. The feeling in the pit of your stomach was saying something different though. Something felt off. It was the way she ran to the front door not making eye contact with a single person and how she shut the door, not a full-out slam, but definitely done with more force than necessary.

 "Hey Jamie, how about we…" you didn't even spare Caitlyn a second glance. You all but shoved her out of the way when she tried to step in front of the door. This time you were the one slamming it shut, letting her know that she was not welcome to follow you.

 "(Y/N)!" you screamed, as she was halfway in the neighbor's yard, yet she didn't turn around. "(Y/N)!" You were in an all-out run now, panic kicking in as she wasn't answering you back. By the time you reached her she was at her door ready to punch in the key code. "(Y/N) didn't you hear me?" You grabbed her upper arm, as you caught your breath.

 "Leave me alone, Jamie."

 It was at that moment that you were able to turn her to face you. Tears were rolling down her face. "Jesus, what's wrong?" You tried to hold her close to your chest, comfort her, but she wasn't having any of it, as she pulled free of your hold on her.

 "What's wrong?" She shouted indignantly. "What's wrong, is that I never want to see you again."

 Her words felt like a slap to your face, and you flinched back as if she had actually struck you. "I…I…," now was not the time to become tongue-tied. "What did I do? Tell me and I'll make it right. I swear it." You went to touch her, but she jumped back out of your reach, shrugging you off. You couldn't breathe. This couldn't be happening again. You wouldn't let it happen. "Talk to me (Y/N)."

 Arms crossed she stood there defiantly, her whole demeanor changing. Gone was the weeping woman from moments ago, as she seemed to turn her whole wrath on you. "I'm sick and tired of it, Jamie. Am I just some sort of game to you? Is that all I am? All I ever was?"

 "What are you talking about? Of course, you're not some game." Surely, she had to see how much she meant to you and how much none of this made sense at the moment. "If you'll just tell me what happened…"

 "Like you don't know. Your little playing dumb game isn't going to work this time." She shoved your chest hard, causing you to stumble back. "Now get off my property." (Y/N) took advantage of the moment, opening the door and whisking away inside. She was just about to slam it shut, and lock you out more than likely, when you pushed the heel of your hand hard against the door, stopping her. "I said leave me alone."

 You ignored her protests, shoving your way inside. "It's not going to work this time. I'm not leaving. I don't care if it takes days or weeks but I'm not giving up on us this time."

 A bitter scoff left her lips as she crossed the entryway and headed deeper into her home. You stalked her every move, following her to the kitchen. "You can drop the act you know. Now that I know everything there's no need to pretend."

 "I'm not pretending. I don't even know what the fuck we're talking about so how could I be." You could see the anger bubbling up inside her. What or who had made her question your feelings for her was beyond you, but one way or another you were going to get to the bottom of this. "Just tell me what happened?" You pleaded yet again. "Or I'll go back over to that house and question every damn person until I find out the truth."

 "The truth?" she laughingly mocked. "That's rich considering you've been lying to me."

 "What the hell have I lied about?" Your brain was working overtime going through every word that you'd said to her since bumping into her on the road that day. Sure, you'd maneuvered your way into being her guide around the arena but could you really consider that a lie? Then there was Jordie and Jessi's party, you'd used it to your advantage to see her again; it was a slight deception but harmless. You didn't think either of those things would cause her to be this angry with you. "Ok, so I begged Jordie to invite you to his house because I had to see you again (Y/N). I just wanted a chance to be with you again. I didn't think you'd be this upset about it."

 "You what?" You could see her processing your words, and it registered then that that wasn't the lie she spoke of. What else could it be? "So, Jordie and Jessi are in on it too? I thought she was my friend."

 You knew she spoke of her developing friendship with Jess and you didn't want her questioning that. "They only did it because they know how much I cared about you. How much I still do. How much I love you." You'd held back the words the past two days, knowing that she wasn't ready to hear them just yet. Now there was no reason. She needed to know how you felt. That your feelings for her had never gone away, not even one day in fourteen years.

 "Those words fall so easily off your lips. Do you even know what love is?" She spat the allegation at you and it stung like a thousand bees all descending on you at once.

 "How can you say that?" You walked closer to her, and she turned away. "I loved you all those years ago, just as I do now. I never stopped. Maybe back then I was stupid to realize how much our love meant to me, but I'm not young and naïve anymore. I know you're the only one for me and if you would just look at me right now, you would see that I'm telling you the truth." Gently, you touched her shoulder urging her to turn. She did. Her eyes raising to meet yours, both shining with tears and you prayed to God she would see the love you had for her there. "I love you, (Y/N). I always have and I always will."

 She sucked in a breath at your admission and you knew that somehow, someway deep down she saw the love you had for her. "I…I…" She pivoted then on her heel, walking away, catching herself on the kitchen island as she took deep gulps of air.

 Carefully, as if you were approaching a timid animal, for in essence (Y/N) was just as fragile, you made your way to her. You placed your hands on her shoulders, not asking her to turn to you, but needing to touch her and comfort her in any way you could. "It's ok if you don't love me. I can wait. I'll wait as long as you need. I'm not going anywhere."

 She bowed her head and you could hear her sniffle. It took everything in you to not gather her up in your arms, but you knew she'd only reject that right now. "I don't understand how you can say those things," she finally whispered. "I know you don't want me here."

 "Don't want you here? Who told you that?" She shrugged and this time you twirled her to face you. "Whoever told you that, lied. I would die without you here." The laugh she gave was hollow and you knew she didn't believe you. "I'm serious (Y/N). You live two houses from me and it's too far. I want to be with you every minute of every hour of the day."

 "But they said you were trying to get me fired."

 Your eyes grew round like saucers and now you were the one that had anger coursing through your veins. Who would say such a thing? Who would want to destroy your happiness like this? Though none of it mattered at the moment. The only thing that did was the woman in front of you. "(Y/N), I don't want you fired. That's the last thing I want. If I could I'd have you at every practice and every game; home and away." With a tilt of her chin, you raised her head up to look you in the eye once more. "You are a brilliant doctor and the Stars are lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you." It was the first time since this all started that her lips turned up in a slight smile, before quickly going to a look of confusion.

 "But they said you went and talked to the owner about getting rid of me."

 You laughed. Probably not the best thing to do at the moment considering the scowl that crossed (Y/N)'s face. "The truth is, I did go talk to Tom, but not about getting you fired. I went to see if it was possible for you to come on the road with us as well." She shook her head in disbelief. "I told you (Y/N), I don't want to be without you. I'll call him right now and he can tell you that himself." You reached into your pocket to grab your phone to do just that, though she clasped your wrist to stop you.

 "No, it's ok Jame. I believe you." Silently you thanked God for this small favor. Maybe if she believed you about this, she would know you were telling the truth about everything else. (Y/N) started to pace around the kitchen, her mind working overtime again. "I know it was fourteen years ago, Jame, but it feels like it's happening all over again."

 It did feel that way. "So, let's not let history repeat itself. Let's work this out (Y/N)." She stopped in tracks, then gave a small nod.

 "Ok."

 "Maybe we should start at the beginning." She gave her agreement, but you clarified. "I think we need to go back fourteen years."

 "You think that will change anything?"

 You shrugged, not knowing if it would or not, but you thought it best that the two of you get everything out in the open. "Yes, no…I don't know. It's worth a try." It would hurt opening up old wounds but maybe talking about them would finally give her a chance to heal and in turn, give you both a chance at happiness.

 You blew out a frustrated breath before starting. "I know it was wrong to talk about what happened between us with Jordie. I should've just kept it between us."

 (Y/N) closed her eyes and you could see the pain of what had happened written all over her face. "What did you say to him?"

 "Nothing like what was going around the school; I swear it." You could see she didn't believe you. Given what was said, you could see why. "Look all I told Jamie was that it was the most amazing night of my life and…" you started to blush at reveling this next part. "And I thanked him for the couple of tips he gave me." There was a smirk on her face at your admission and you could see that she wanted to ask what they were but she also knew now was not the time to get into it. "I didn't realize that Connor was in the locker room and overheard everything."

 "Conner Barnhart? You mean Alyssa's brother?"

 "Yeah," It was still hard to believe that (Y/N)'s brother, Justin, had married Alyssa for you remembered how much of a menace she'd been to not only (Y/N) but yourself. Alyssa had tried, on more than one occasion, after you and (Y/N) broke up, to go out with you, though you'd refused her at every turn.

 "So, let me get this straight. You told Connor that you only dated me because I was easy? Did you think that would keep him quiet or something?"

 "I never said that, to him or anyone."

 "But then…who did?" You'd like to know the answer to that as well.

 "I'm not sure. I threw Connor up against the lockers and threatened to beat the shit out of him if he told anyone. Which is how I ended up suspended for the next three days." You can still remember how pissed your parents had been when they found out.

 "I thought you were sick?"

 You ran your hands through your hair as you remembered the look of disappointment on your parent's faces when they were called to the principal's office. "That's what we told everyone. The principal agreed not to have it on my formal record so that it didn't hurt my chances to get into college. At the time I thought I'd be playing hockey at some university and having a black mark on my transcript might hurt those chances. So, they agreed to keep me out of school for three days. Hence, my mom not letting me talk to you when you called." It had been the longest three days of your life back then. If you only knew back then that those three days would lead to fourteen years without (Y/N), you would've done things differently. "I wrote it all in that letter to you."

 "But I ripped it up and threw it away." You nodded. It had been that moment that you knew you had no hope of getting back together with her and had given up. "So, let me get this straight. The only thing Connor ever knew was that we had sex."

 "And that it was amazing." It probably didn't need to be said, but you were trying to get on her good side after rehashing all these old memories.

 "It was," she admitted and you wanted to add that it still was, but again the timing seemed off. "He had to have made up the rest, but why would he do that?"

 "I'm wondering that myself. He didn't have anything to gain that's for sure. Though I couldn't follow through with my threat after being suspended." Though you wanted to, more than anything. If the little shithead had played hockey, instead of soccer you would've checked him so hard into the boards, that he wouldn't be playing for a least a week. It would've been worth the five-minute penalty.

 "Someone obviously wanted to break us up, just the same as tonight."

 "(Y/N), Who said I wanted you fired and all the rest of that shit?"

 It was her turn to blush this time, though, for the life of you, you couldn't figure out why. "I overheard someone say it."

 You could care less about her eavesdropping, that didn't matter. "Who said it?"

 "Caitlyn and Sara." Red hot anger coursed through you, at the thought of these two girls making up lies to tear you and (Y/N) apart. The scary thing was it had almost worked. You wanted to march back over there only to throw them out of your house, but you could deal with them later. Right now, the only woman that mattered was the one in front of you, who looked as though she was ashamed to have believed them in the first place. "I'm sorry Jamie. I should've never believed a word they said. I was just too blind to see that they were lying."

 This time when you took her in your arms she came easily. It felt so good to just hold her again. "It's ok," you told her in a soft soothing voice while you dropped a kiss on her head. "Given our past, I can see why you were skeptical. I just hope that you can trust me going forward."

 She looked up into your eyes. "I do Jamie. I trust you. I should've trusted you fourteen years ago. I was stupid to think that you would say all those things after what we had shared that night. It's my fault we weren't together all this time."

 "You weren't stupid. I should've been more aware of where I was and waited to talk to Jordie at home in private. I'm just as much to blame for what happened. I just don't understand why people want to break us apart when we're meant to be together." You leaned down and dropped a kiss to her lips. It was soft and tender, reminiscent of all those years ago when you'd first kissed her. You wanted to kiss her like this every day from now until the end of time but she pulled back from it, too quick for your liking.

��"I think I know who started those rumors back in high school."

 "Who?"

 "I need to make a call to see if I'm right." She searched her pockets then the house, looking you assumed for her cell phone. "Shit, I left it in your bedroom."

 You took her hand and started for the door. "Let's go."

 "No, wait. Everyone is still there and I probably look a mess, just give me five minutes to freshen up." She headed for the stairs and you followed.

 "I'm not letting you out of my sight." She laughed, the sound one of the best things you'd ever heard.

 It took a little longer than the five minutes she'd anticipated as you showered her with kisses every so often, but soon you were headed across the lawn and back to your house. When you saw both Sara and Caitlyn as you walked through the front door, you stopped. It took every ounce of willpower in your body to not say anything to them. Instead, you clasped (Y/N)'s hand and spun her body into yours, before stealing her breath away in a searing kiss. You heard a few cheers from your teammates as you kissed her passionately, and you were pretty sure you heard Caitlyn stomp her feet before slamming your front door shut. Good riddance.

 Once you were tucked away in your bedroom, the party still going on downstairs, (Y/N) grabbed her phone to make the call she spoke about. "Hey Justin," she said to her brother. "Is Alyssa there?" He must have replied yes then went off to find her. It was then that (Y/N) put the call on speaker.

 "Hey (Y/N), what's up?"

 "This might sound stupid, Alyssa, but I have to ask you something. Please be honest with me."

 "Ok."

 "Back in high school did you start that rumor about Jamie only sleeping with me because I was easy?" You started to put the pieces together as you waited for Alyssa to answer.

 There was a long pause on the other end before she said anything. "I'm so sorry (Y/N). I was young and stupid…and…god can you ever forgive me?"

 You looked at (Y/N), who looked back at you. It would be her call to forgive her sister-in-law, not yours. "What's done is done," (Y/N) finally told her. "We can't change it, but why did you do it?"

 "I…I wanted Jamie." You had already figured that part out and you were pretty sure (Y/N) had as well. "So, when Connor told me what he overheard in the locker room, I started the rumor. I thought if I could break you two up, that he'd want to date me. Obviously, that backfired. I'm just so sorry I hurt you both in the process."

 "We all make dumb mistakes Alyssa. I just wish you would've told me sooner."

 "I know. I should've said something back then or at least when I got together with Justin, but I didn't want you to hate me. Say you don't hate me, please." You could tell Alyssa was crying in the background. She was going to have a lot of explaining to do to Justin as well.

 "I don't hate you." (Y/N) told her. Part of you wanted to hate Alyssa for destroying what you had with (Y/N), but then it was so long ago and what you had now with her was so much better. "But I can't forgive you right now either. It's going to take time."

 "I understand," Alyssa sobbed into the phone. "For what it's worth I am truly sorry."

 "I know, and thank you for telling me the truth now. We'll talk soon." With that (Y/N) hung up the phone.

 "I'm sorry, (Y/N)," you offered by way of apology for everything that she'd gone through tonight.

 "Oh Jame," she said, grabbing your hands in hers in the process. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I should be apologizing to you. I should've known that you wouldn't have said those things about me then or even now. Instead, I doubted us." She took both your hands in hers, then looked you straight in the eye. "Can you ever forgive me?"

 "There's nothing to forgive. I told you before, I'm as much to blame. It's in the past and I'd rather concentrate on our future." Taking your joined hands, you brought hers to your lips and tenderly kissed them, hoping and praying that she wanted a future with you as well.

 "I'd like that too, Jame." Cupping her face, you brought her lips to yours. Downstairs, the party continued on as you could hear music and people chattering in the background, yet ensconced here in your bedroom, it felt as though you were the only two that existed in this world. You weren't sure how long the two of you stayed like that, mouths just fused together, loving one another.

 "We should probably go back down," you suggested even though you wanted nothing more than to simply lay (Y/N) on your bed and make love to her until neither of you could see straight. She nodded and you both got up off the bed from where you had been sitting, though you couldn't resist kissing her one more time.

 “We should probably go back down,” you suggested even though you wanted nothing more than to simply lay (Y/N) on your bed and make love to her until neither of you could see straight. She nodded and you both got up off the bed from where you had been sitting. Taking her hand, you entwined your fingers with her then headed to the door. (Y/N) stopped though and tugged you back towards her.

 “Before we go down there, there’s just one more thing I have to say.” You took a deep breath, still half afraid that she was going to run and never come back this time. “You said something earlier, that I can’t get out of my head.” You tried to replay the events of the last hour over in your head but so many things were said you couldn’t be sure what she was referring to, and so you furrowed your brow in question. “You said you never stopped loving me.” It was true. If someone would’ve said that to you years ago, you would’ve laughed at them and shrugged off their comments, but the moment (Y/N) walked back into your life, you knew that she was your first and only love. You went to tell her that but she continued. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I never stopped loving you either.” A grin that would stretch across the Grand Canyon took over your face and your arms wrapped around her waist to pull her close. “I pushed so many others out of my life and I’m only realizing now, that it’s because they weren’t you. I tried to close off my heart to you when I ran into that first day in Dallas, but you managed to burst through and not give up on us, and I’m so thankful you didn’t. I know I said before that I wanted to try to give us a shot, but there’s no one else in this world for me. I love you with my whole heart and soul, Jamie Benn.”

 Your heart was pounding so hard, you thought it would beat right out of its chest, but then that would be fine because you knew that (Y/N) would be right there to catch it. “I love you too (Y/N), with all that I am and so much more.” Your mouth came down on hers and though you’d kissed a thousand times before, this was one special. It spoke not only of love but of pain, of sorrow but joy, of all things that had been and all that would come tomorrow, for your future was here with her and there was no place else that you’d rather be.  

[solitae]

But as everything went black and I died the second time round, I didn't see you. I didn't even see me. The final thing I saw was a great sunshiny light: a blurred figure, hazing in and out the edges. At first it looked to me like a woman--a grey-faced, dead-eyed woman, with a face so beautiful it almost went out the other side and became repellent; a woman with my eyes, dimmed dark yellow in death, whose hair fell in wet leaden hanks. I realized with exhausted indignation that, at the end of everything--after all I had been through--after the last word, the last strike, the last drop of blood in the water--your bullshit dead girlfriend had come to claim me.

And she said in the wrong voice twice removed: "Chest compressions. I know her sternum's shattered; ignore it. We need that heart pumping. On my mark."

Hands pressed. We died.

-Harrow the Ninth, pg 499-500

All right, let's see if I can make any sense of my thoughts on the ending of Harrow the Ninth. I haven’t read many theories yet because I want to make sense of what I think from the text first. Feel free to hit me up to discuss!

Since the epilogue ends describing Camilla with Palamedes' eyes, it feels pretty safe to assume they're both functioning out of Camilla's body. Thus I am assuming that the wrong voice twice removed is Palamedes through Camilla through Gideon's perception of Alecto.

So Camilla Palamedes (gonna flip the naming convention since they're in Camilla's body), Coronabeth, and presumably Judith come in at the last minute on their ship that Mercymorn helped them get running and pointed toward John. From Judith's report, we know that Gideon's body has not decayed. It may or may not be with them at this point, but the fact that the body is in functional shape seems very important. It's also a piece of information that I didn't have on my first read.

What if Gideon is right and that they did die? What if dying forced Gideon back into her own body? Harrow's soul is out on Alecto's island, and she's settled down there. However, Palamedes is incredibly skilled, so let's say that Harrow's body briefly dies and then he revives it. If Gideon has bounced back to her body, this leaves an opening.

We've got Alecto floating free because she's been released from her island (and she's been attached to Harrow all along). Could she slide into Harrow's body? Is she the one narrating the epilogue?

While I think the narrator could also possibly be Gideon-in-Harrow, the Gideon chapter ends with "We died." It's a strong definite ending, and it throws us into this speculative place where we can wonder what purpose that serves. (Other than to make us scream NOOOOOOOOO! again.) If Gideon-in-Harrow is going to remain a thing, this death feels less meaningful. But we now know through Judith's report, that Gideon's body hasn't decayed. Gideon's soul has a place to go even if Harrow's body dies. This one little piece of information changes the balance for me, and it feels like such an important point in Judith's report.

I also like the idea that Gideon leaves her body at the end of the first book then returns to it at the end of the second one. That's a bit of order in all the chaos that appeals to me. The conversation at the end of the epilogue makes more sense if the narrator is neither Harrow nor Gideon. I feel like Camilla Palamedes could at least guess that she's one or both of them. If it's six months later, and Camilla Palamedes doesn't know who she is ...something is up.

Of course, I'm making the assumption that the narrator is functioning out of Harrow's body which may or may not be true. But if she's not, then I'm even more lost than I was.

With Alecto showing up at the end, and Gideon being a crucial part of her release since John set blood wards on the tomb, the idea that Gideon's resurrection causes Alecto to come back fits for me. Alecto has already been attached to Harrow since Harrow breached the Tomb with Gideon's blood on her. Then if Gideon returns to her own body, Alecto's soul is present without another soul driving Harrow's body. Alecto might not even have had a choice in this, or she might have been waiting to take over a body for herself. But she is present when Gideon-in-Harrow dies, and Harrow is off taking a nap in the Tomb. If Alecto is the narrator, then this puts her with the Blood of Eden...

My other completely wild theory is that Dulcinea got swept up in all the chaos and forced into/took over Harrow's body when the bubble in the River collapsed. She was still there right at the last moment, and Abigail warned about Harrow dragging souls with her if the bubble collapsed. The narrator being Dulcinea doesn't seem likely to me, but I do wonder about this bit: "It felt as though she had always been fond of that face, of the dark, sharply bobbed hair; and she loved without reserve the eyes - those great lambent eyes, the iris so skillfully and gently blent that it seemed there was no tint or shade in that clear and beautiful grey." (pg. 506)

Obviously it gives us a chance to hear about Camilla's eyes which is very important, but the emotion of it makes me curious. The narrator clearly adores Camilla Palamedes. This is one of the few pieces of information we have about her. That, and that she doesn't get hurt by consuming the hot food (which supports the Harrow's body assumption since by this point Harrow and Gideon have likely achieved perfect Lyctorhood.)

It's possible that there's a melange of Alecto and Dulcinea happening too.

Whatever is happening, I'm very worried about my baby Harrowhark and I hope she is having a nice nap rather than being dead.

[daveeddiggsit]

The Plan

WIDEOUT MASTERLIST

Series: WIDEOUT (chpt viii)

Note: Thank you @braidedchallah for proofreading. Reminder — before you kill me — there is one chapter left (and an epilogue). Keep that in mind. Enjoy. Feel free to yell at me afterwards. If you’re reading this, I’m sorry for what you’re about to experience.

Word Count: 12.2k

Pairing: Football Player!Thomas Jefferson x Tutor!Reader

Warnings: angst. possible breakup. perhaps some crying. implied sex (more than once). thom being a perfect boyfriend. thom looking fine af in denim (i’m trash).

Summary: Goodbyes are hard.

Tags: @coololdsoulpoetlove @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @lilangeldevil006 @pana-ce-a @merrahonthawall @katierpblogg @thespianbooks @a-hopeless-fan @uniquelystarchildthedragon @wcreech @sabbrriiinnaa @imperial-martian @harpersmariano @icanneverbesatisfied @underthewillowtreerycb @i-know-i-can @astralaffairs @braidedchallah​ (if i forgot anyone i apologize, just lemme know for next time)

As one of the smartest kids in your graduating class, you have a certain reputation to uphold. Maintaining a perfect 4.0 GPA isn’t easy, which means that you have to choose all the right answers and make all the right decisions. 

As it turns out, you seem to be pretty good at that. Being right about a lot of things, academic or not, seems to come naturally to you. Especially when it comes to a certain curly-haired athlete who also happens to be your boyfriend of over a year.

You had been right when you told him that he would recover from his ankle injury on the night it happened. Well, you can’t be entirely sure of that yet since he’s still not clear to engage in full-action sports, but it’s incredibly clear that he’s well on his way to recovering fully.

Almost exactly seven weeks after the incident, he’d gotten his cast removed and replaced with a boot so that he could put weight on his ankle again. Since then, he’s been in physical therapy almost daily in order to make sure that he’s healing the right way. According to him, he’s progressing well every week and is slowly regaining his mobility, strength, and speed. Just two weeks ago he ditched the boot so that he could finally put on a pair of shoes; you remember the grin on his face when he gave you a little dance to show off the new kicks he’d gotten as celebration.

He’s not 100% healthy yet, and he certainly won’t be back on the field (or track) for another couple months until he’s clear to practice, but you’re proud that he’s been able to recover as much as he has in relatively so little time.

On the night of his injury, you’d also been right about another thing: the fact that Thomas would receive college offers.

And that’s what you’re celebrating today.

After weeks and weeks of advocating for himself and sending his player reel and personal letters to the head coaches of schools he wanted to attend, he finally got an offer from one of his top college choices: the University of Virginia.

While their football team isn’t the most notable in the nation, their program is one of the best in the state of Virginia at a Division I level, and that’s pretty much all Thomas wants. After he recovers fully, Thomas will make an excellent asset to the team since one of their starting wide receivers is entering the NFL Draft after this year. 

At UVA, Thomas would get the play time he needs to shine and show his true colors and talent as a wide receiver all while having a coaching staff there to support him and his every need. Their academic program for liberal arts is also something Thomas has been looking at in a school since he plans on majoring in English.

With all of that said, the Jefferson household decides to host a special dinner for their son in celebration of the wonderful news. 

And while under normal circumstances, you would feel happy and excited for your boyfriend and his amazing accomplishment, instead you have a voice that lingers in the back of your mind reminding you of the similar news you had received just a week prior.

Thomas isn’t the only one with a huge scholarship offer.

After applying to many different schools with somewhat notable engineering programs in-state (because let’s be real, out-of-state tuition is absurdly expensive), you’ve received only a few grants from NYU and Syracuse University, but it isn’t enough to cover all of tuition.

But when you’d received an email last week from the one out-of-state school you had applied to last minute, your heart had just about dropped from your chest.

UCLA is offering you a full-ride.

You should be happy that you have an incredible offer. You should be elated for Thomas with his scholarship offer, too. However, you can’t help but feel a looming sense of stress every time you think about telling him.

That’s why you haven’t told him yet; it’s been nine days.

“Y/N?”

Thomas’ voice snaps you out of your thoughts and suddenly you are brought back to reality. You’re dressed up and sitting at the dinner table with Thomas across from his parents. The menu of the night consists of a couple different French dishes that his mother had learned to make a few years back when they visited Paris for an entire summer. His mother’s rendition of the food is nothing short of amazing.

Your eyes meet the warm brown ones that belong to your boyfriend as you turn your head to glance at him next to you. “Hmm?”

”You didn’t hear anythin’ I said, did you?” Thomas chuckles, biting his lip as he watches you put on a guilty simper.

“No, sorry.” You breathe out a small laugh in order to cover up your underlying nervousness. “I zoned out for a minute there. What were you saying?” 

“Well, I’m arguin’ a case here. Technically, a hot dog — a piece of meat held together by two pieces of bread - is a sandwich, right? In simple terms and by definition this should be true, so don’t overthink it. My dad keeps saying it’s not, but please, Y/N, you gotta side with me this time.”

You take a breath in and click your tongue. “I don’t know, Peter, I think I gotta go with Thom on this one.”

“Yes!” Thomas celebrates, throwing his arms up dramatically. “I told you!”

Mr. Jefferson’s mouth drops at your response. “How dare you take his side. Did all those other times teaming up at dinner and making fun of him mean nothing to you?”

If it hadn’t been evident prior to this moment where Thomas gets his overdramatics from, then it’s certainly clear now.

“Case closed.” Thomas smirks, crossing his arms, proud of himself.

“What are you talking about? The case is far from closed.” His father retorts, splaying his arms out, causing Thomas’ mom to speak out. 

“Hey, calm down, you two. You’re gonna make a mess if you keep on bangin’ the table like that.” She chastises them. They both mutter their apologies before Thomas’ father continues on defending himself.

“Y/N, why’d you choose his side? You know I’m right. Don’t let that boy guilt trip you; he’s still gonna love you if you disagree with him.”

“Sorry, Peter.” You shrug, sneaking a glance at Thomas who’s watching you with a glint in his eyes. “As much as I don’t want to agree with your son on this one, I unfortunately do.”

Thomas pauses to narrow his eyes as you in puzzled manor. “‘Unfortunately?’ Your words wound me, sweetheart, really.” He says in a teasing tone before his smile turns smug as he directs his attention towards his father. “But you see, Dad? It’s 2 against 1. ‘M sorry to say, but your opinion is overruled.”

Mr. Jefferson waves his son off dismissively. “That’s horseshit; your mother hasn’t sided with anyone yet. We still have one more vote to count.”

“Language, Peter.” The woman in question warns, giving him a look that’s only half serious.

“Well, honey? You agree with me, don’t you?” Peter asks his wife with pleading eyes, causing her to roll hers.

“Sure, sweetie.”

You shake your head and smile, leaning back in your chair to watch the antics unfold.

“What? Ma, why you takin’ his side?” Thomas jumps in. “I’m supposed to be your favorite, you know.”

“Of course you’re my favorite; you’re my only child, Thomas.” His mother deadpans, causing Thomas to frown.

It’s Peter’s turn now to smirk at Thomas and you. “See? Now we’re tied. Opinion very much not overruled, thank you.”

“Wait, what was your side of the argument again?” Mrs. Jefferson asks her husband. “You said a hot dog is a sandwich, right?”

“No, that’s what I said.” Thomas interjects.

“Oh, well then I agree with Thomas.”

“Ha!” Your boyfriend exclaims, pointing at his dad. “I told you! Your opinion is not valid. Hot dogs are sandwiches. End of story.”

“They are not sandwiches! They are a different entity. How can you compare a ham and cheese to a weiner between two buns? Well I’ll tell you. You can’t!”

“For the last time, Dad. It’s a piece of meat in between two pieces of bread. That is classified as what? A sandwich!”

“With that logic, you’d say that a burger is a sandwich, too?”

“Yup.”

“There is somethin’ wrong with y’all.” Peter shakes his head, picking at the leftover food on his plate. “I thought I raised you better, T. Y/N, I expected you to take my side on this one.”

“Sorry, Mr. J.” You shrug. “Tommy’s right. A piece of meat in between two pieces of bread does indeed technically classify it as a sandwich.”

“Y’all got me thinkin’ that I’m the crazy one now.” Peter sighs defeatedly.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough of that nonsense.” Thomas’ mother chuckles, waving her hand in the air dismissively. “Thomas, honey, your father and I are very proud of you and are excited for your opportunity at UVA.”

“Thanks, Ma.” Thomas grins. “I’m excited, too.”

Under the table, Thomas’ hand finds yours and laces your fingers together. Its warmth is comforting and the small moment makes you forget about everything for just a moment. A small silence stretches on for a bit before Peter speaks up.

“So, Y/N, how are your college applications going? Have you gotten any scholarships yet? I feel like you’re too smart to not get anything.”

Your stomach drops at the question. You really hadn’t expected to be put on the spot like this, and while it is a simple question that you should be able to answer quickly… you don’t. You hesitate and Thomas notices. 

You want to tell the truth, you really do, but you can’t. This is Thomas’ night to celebrate and the last thing you want to do is mess it up with news that you’d be going to school across the country. Tonight is supposed to be about him, not you.

So you lie.

“Oh, um, no, not yet.” You chuckle nervously. The hand holding Thomas’ fidgets slightly and he squeezes lightly to try and help calm your nerves. “I mean, I’ve gotten into NYU and Syracuse so far. Still waiting to hear from Columbia. I haven’t heard much as far as scholarships, though, unfortunately. I’ve received a few grants here and there, but nothing too big.”

“Columbia, wow. What’s their acceptance rate? 10%?” Mrs. Jefferson asks, seemingly interested.

“6%.” Thomas jumps in to answer before glancing at you with a small smile. “I don’t think Y/N will have any trouble getting in, though.”

You send him the biggest smile you can muster, though you feel like it sort of comes out as a grimace. “Thanks, T.” You say softly.

Beat.

“What time is it? I think it’s past my bedtime.” Peter yawns, checking his watch. “10 o’clock? Where did the time go? Y/N, are you going to be okay driving home this late?”

“It’s not that late, Mr. Jefferson. I should be fine.” You’ve definitely driven home from Thomas’ place past 10pm before (multiple times), but you’re not telling him that. “I do think I should probably leave soon, though.”

“You wanna go get your things upstairs, then I can walk you out?” Thomas asks you with a mischievous look in his eye. Knowing him, he probably just wants to get you alone for a bit before you leave. Even through your nervousness to tell him the truth, you can’t deny his charm.

“Yeah, that sounds good, Tommy.”

Then, both you and Thomas excuse yourselves from the table. You make sure to thank Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson for dinner and the invite. You’re always honored to be included in their family events even if it’s something as small as dinner on a Friday night.

When you make it up to Thomas’ room, he doesn’t waste another moment before he kisses you softly, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek after he gently shuts the door.

“Been waitin’ to do that all night.” He grins afterwards, softly brushing over the skin of your cheek with his thumb.

You smile as you bring your hands up to his shoulders, wordlessly leaning forward to sweetly press your lips to his again.

“Missed you.” He mumbles as he pulls away to lean his forehead against yours. “Feel like we haven’t been seeing a lot of each other lately.”

He’s right. With both of you not having any classes together this year, you both worried about college applications, Thomas not in football season anymore and in and out of PT almost constantly, you two haven’t been seeing each other as much as you’d like. Another reason why you haven’t been able to tell Thomas about UCLA (aside from the fact that you simply don’t have the guts to do it).

“I know.” You sigh, looking off to the side for a second. “I’m sorry.”

“‘S not your fault. We’ve both been busy.”

“Yeah, but still.” You say softly. “Feels bad. I miss you.”

He chuckles. “Well, I’m right here, baby. Don’t need to go far.”

You smile haphazardly and roll your eyes as you bring your hand up to the back of his neck and pull him into another kiss. Who knows how many more of these you’ll get before you both graduate and have to go your separate ways.

Before it can go too far, you pull away again.

“T?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m so proud of you.” You say genuinely because you really want him to know. You feel like you don’t tell him enough (even though that’s not the case).  “Really, I am. You deserve that scholarship and so much more.”

“Thanks, love.” He murmurs while a soft smile adorns his face. “Hey, if none of these in-state schools give you anything, I think you’d have a good chance at getting something at UVA. They have an honors college that gives up a ton of grants and shit, you should look into it. I’m not sure if the applications are still open, but worth a try.”

You purse your lips before you give him your response. “Maybe, we’ll see.”

“I’m sure you’ll get something anyway, but just wanted to bring that up and let you know.”

“Appreciate the thought, Thom.”

Thomas grins, giving you one last peck on the lips before finally turning away to remove his overcoat. He double takes when he sees your face drop slightly. His eyebrows furrow as he notices your mood shift. “Hey, what’s wrong? Somethin’ botherin’ you? Not gonna lie, you’ve been a little off all night, sweetheart...”

You hesitate, not able to look him in the eye, the guilt eating you alive. The pressure of holding everything in is building up and while Thomas is normally your rock, the one you can go to for anything, you can’t this time, and you can feel it wearing you down.

You take in a shaky deep breath before you go to sit down on his bed, eyes cast towards the ground. “I’m okay, T, I’m just… stressed. With school.” You say, finally willing yourself to look up into his caring gaze. It hurts to lie to him, but you keep telling yourself that it’s his night.

“You sure?” He asks, taking a seat next to you to gently grab your hand in his. “Seriously, baby, I know when somethin’s up. What’s on that brilliant mind of yours, huh?” He lightly bumps his shoulder against yours in a teasing gesture, causing you to let out a half-hearted chuckle. He always knows how to get a laugh out of you, doesn’t he? “I know you’re worried about more than that stats test you have next week. Tell me what’s really botherin’ you.” He says softly, catching your gaze again.

Sighing once more, you tear your eyes away from his pleading ones. “I um…” You trail off after trying and failing to come up with another lie or excuse. 

Thomas always draws your worries and frustrations out of you; he knows you so well to the point where he knows exactly what to say to convince you to tell him something. Honesty has never been a problem in your relationship, and the last thing you want is to push it to a point of no return. You already feel terrible for withholding the truth; you want to be free from this secret you’ve been holding.

And suddenly seven words echo in your head:

“Tell him. He’ll understand. He loves you.”

Your eyes flit back up to meet his concerned gaze. Here it goes.

“I did get a scholarship. All tuition and expenses paid. I got the email a week and a half ago and I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry.”

His eyes widen at the confession, taken aback by how big the news is.

“Holy shit, Y/N, that’s… that’s amazing, baby. I’m so proud of you. Not surprised, but proud nonetheless.” He says genuinely, a smile evident on his face before it drops slightly. “Why didn’t you wanna tell me?” There’s a moment of silence before he speaks again. “Wait, why’d you lie at dinner when my dad asked?”

You give him a sad smile before you look away again, fidgeting with your fingers on the hand that Thomas isn’t holding. “I didn’t want to take over your night, T. And I didn’t tell you when I found out because… the school’s in Cali.” You say, releasing a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding.

He cocks his head to the side slightly, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “I thought you only applied to schools in-state.”

You shake your head, pursing your lips before you respond. “That’s what I had planned originally, but my advisor pushed me to apply for this scholarship program at UCLA and… well, I got in.”

Thomas goes silent for a few moments as he looks off to the side, breathing deeply. It’s hard to tell what he’s feeling. Then, he lets out a low whistle. “Full-ride to UCLA, huh?” He says softly before he turns to look at you. 

“Thomas…” You start, your voice soft and full of worry, but he continues to talk.

“Are you going to accept it?” He asks and you nod slowly. 

Ideally, you have no other real choice; by going to UCLA you’d graduate with zero debt. And with UCLA’s engineering program and opportunities that other schools can’t fulfill, it fills all the boxes you want in a university.

“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart. Really. I’m glad they recognize how amazing you are.” The tone in Thomas’ voice is fond and he’s absolutely sure of the words he’s saying. “It’s far away, I know, but we can make it work.” 

The emotions in his eyes are conflicting, but they still hold unrelenting love and support in them. When you hesitate to respond, his eyes search yours, trying to find some sort of answer in them, but before he can decipher anything, you tear your gaze from his.

“Right?” He asks as his grip on your palm loosens until your hand falls back into your lap, the warmth from Thomas’ fingers completely vanished. “Baby, talk to me. Please.”

“Thom, I… I want to think that but I’m not sure.” You admit quietly, and having said that, you can see something in Thomas’ composure crumble.

He shakes his head. “Nah, don’t you say that. We can make this work, Y/N.” His voice wavers slightly as he stands up and runs a hand over his curls, smoothing them back and away from his face. “I haven’t accepted the offer at UVA. I can decline and apply to UCLA—”

“T, I’m not going to ask you to do that—” You start, but he cuts you off.

“You don’t have to ask me, love. I’m willing to do this all on my own. Like I said, we can make this work. I’ll improvise. My parents can afford it, then I can just join the football team as a walk-on. I’m confident I’ll make it. Since they didn’t give me an offer I’ll prove them wrong and be the best damn walk-on they ever had.”

“Thomas, don’t—”

“I can also have my dad send the head coach a letter. I didn’t wanna pull that for any other schools because I wanted to earn all my offers — and because of the whole nepotism thing — but I’ll make an exception for—”

“Thomas, please!” You raise your voice and when he finally stops, you immediately regret it. You’ve never raised your voice like that with him before and doing so right now feels terrible. 

“Please, T, just stop. I don’t want you to do any of that for me. How long have you been waiting for UVA to give you a chance? How many letters have you personally written to Coach Michaels, begging him to consider you for one of their open receiver positions?”

Thomas is silent as you speak, knowing full well that you have a point. You continue.

“You’ve been set on UVA as your top school for a couple months now. Don’t forget how hyped you were when you finally got the offer this morning. And now you want to just throw that away? No. I’m sorry, Thom, but I am not going to be the one to take it away from you.”

“You’re not.” He says earnestly. “Taking it away from me, I mean. I want to do this for you. For us. UCLA has a good football program, too, all I have to do is pull some strings if you’ll let me.”

You shake your head at him. “Okay, well I’m not letting you do that. Thomas, it’s not as easy as you’re making it seem. Think about this, okay? Think about yourself and your football career and all the opportunities that you’ll have for yourself down in Virginia. Don’t let me get in the way of that! I don’t want each of us to be an obstacle in each other’s successes.”

Thomas gives you an incredulous look and stills himself. “Are you serious? Is that what you consider our relationship? An obstacle?”

You look away, sighing. “No, T, I… I didn’t mean it like that, you know that.”

“No, Y/N. I don’t know that.” He looks at you with a distressed gaze, all traces of comfort and playfulness gone and replaced with hurt… caused by you — something you never would have thought you’d see in his eyes. 

“Look, I don’t wanna talk about this right now. Today’s supposed to be your day.”

“Let me get one thing straight, Y/N. Our relationship is not an obstacle… it never has been and it never will be.” Thomas says coldly and you cringe when he calls you by your full name in a tone that’s less than friendly.

“I just don’t want our love for each other to get in the way of…” You trail off, but decide against speaking mid-sentence. “You know what, nevermind.”

“Get in the way of what?”

“Thomas,” you start, making eye contact with him once again. “I don’t want to get in the way of your football career. It’s unfair; I can’t do that to you, T. You deserve to make the most of your career in college so that you can make it to the NFL. That’s your dream, right? To play in the NFL for the New York Giants like your father did. Am I right?”

His jaw clenches slightly as he nods, and you continue.

“The coach at UVA believes in you — even through your injury. Why are you going to throw that away? In order to be with your high school girlfriend? Do you see how childish that sounds?” A beat of silence passes before you continue in a softer tone. 

“I just… I don’t want you to do that, Thomas, it’s too big of a risk. You have a solid spot at UVA to prove yourself on the field. If you drop that for a walk-on position at UCLA, it’ll be a mistake. Instead of proving yourself to NFL recruiters, you’ll be set on proving yourself to college coaches just to get a chance on the field. I want you to have the best chances at making it to the NFL.” Now it’s your turn to stand up. You pace away from him as you continue to speak. 

“Let’s say you do follow me to UCLA and join the football program. What if… what if something happens while we’re in college and we’re not together anymore? What will happen? You’d have potentially messed up your career for me and I don’t want that to happen, T. I’m sorry but I won’t let that happen.”

Thomas holds a hand up to stop you from your ramblings. He speaks his next words slowly.  “Wait, wait, hold on now. You think we’re going to break up in college?”

You roll your eyes in frustration, crossing your arms defensively. “That’s not what I said—”

“No, no that’s exactly what you said.” He responds coldly, narrowing his eyes at you. “I’m starting to question our intentions in this relationship, Y/N. Did you ever plan on us being long term?”

“See, this is why I didn’t wanna tell you. I didn’t want this to happen.” You say, annoyed that it’s gotten to this point of you two having an argument.

“You just gonna ignore my question?”

“Before applying to schools, T, I wasn’t even thinking about the future. I was taking things day by day. We were both pent up in our little perfect world, but right now we need to face reality.”

“Okay, so then why’d you keep this a secret from me? Were you plannin’ on keepin’ this to yourself until graduation? I don’t know if you knew this, sweetheart, but a relationship is a two-way street and involves a little somethin’ called communication.” His snarky tone fills the room and has you rolling your eyes again. “Girlfriends aren’t supposed to lie to their boyfriends and then get mad at him for reacting a certain way when she finally decides to tell him huge news.”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” You say, breathing out another sigh and softening up at his last sentence. He’s right; you shouldn’t have kept it a secret. “I wanted to tell you, I just, I don’t know what’s gonna happen after we graduate, okay? And I’m scared.”

“You don’t think we can work through that together? As a team?” Thomas’ eyes are begging you to reason with him. “I’m scared, too, but we’ll figure something out. Right?”

The look in your eyes is distant as you cast them down to the ground. “Yeah.”

“Maybe we could do a long distance thing. I’ve seen other couples do it.”

You fiddle with a loose thread on your sweater. “I don’t know, T. We’ll see if we can come up with something.”

He rolls his eyes and huffs out a hot-tempered laugh. “Okay.” He says shortly.

“What?”

“So you don’t want me to drop everything and go to UCLA with you, which is fine. I understand that. But now you’re telling me that you don’t wanna do long distance?”

“I didn’t say that, I just— we need to be realistic, Thom.”

“What does that even mean?!” He yells, and it’s the first time he’s ever raised his voice at you. You hate it.

“We have to keep the future in mind!”

“I want you in my future! Don’t you want me in your future?”

“We both have different ideas of what we want. Different dreams, okay? You can’t have your dream of making it to the NFL and also have me when I plan on going to an engineering program across the country!” 

You’re deflecting and he knows it.

“Answer the damn question, Y/N.” He says lowly, his voice taking on a dangerous edge.

“Of course I want you in my future, Thomas!” You say exasperatedly, looking at the ceiling. “What kind of question is that?”

“Forgive me if I’m strugglin’ to believe that when you’re actin’ like this.” He says, his voice taking a more neutral tone, but he sounds exhausted. “You’re going to school across the country and you were hesitant to tell me - fine. I fucking get it. But you can’t just say that we’ll probably break up in college and think that that is fucking okay. It’s not! And you can’t say ‘I don’t know’ about dating long distance when that’s literally the only other option we have.”

“That’s the thing, Thomas. I don’t know if that’s the only other option we have.”

His face looks puzzled as he looks at you for a few seconds before realization finally settles in. Thomas narrows his eyes at you once again, his gaze cold, making your heart drop in your chest. “You wanna break up, don’t you?”

“No.” You state, choosing your words carefully. “I don’t want to. But we have to think about—”

“Our future, yeah. I get it.” Thomas snaps, cutting you off. “You know what? You want to talk about the future? Fine. Maybe we should.” He says simply, crossing his arms. “If you think we’re just going to break up in college anyway, maybe we should just speed up the process and get it over with.”

You shake your head at him. “Thomas, don’t do this. That’s not what I want.”

“Isn’t it?”

“It’s not.”

“I find that extremely hard to believe.”

“I’m done arguing with you, Jefferson.” You breathe out tiredly, running a hand through your hair.

He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. He looks completely drained as he speaks again, his voice now calm. “What are we doing here, Y/N?”

A small silence fills the air before you answer quietly. “I don’t know, T.”

What are you both doing? Arguing about whether or not your relationship should continue after high school? Maybe you are being a little irrational about it, implying that you should break up before college and all. Thomas’ reaction to it all is understandable because he doesn’t want to lose you. However, he needs to be truthful to himself. Is this relationship going to work when the two of you are seeking entirely different career paths on opposite coasts?

What a fucking mess.

You hate that it’s gotten to this point. Your fear about telling Thomas and it going downhill has come true, and knowing that makes you even more emotional.

“Tommy… I…” You say sotto voce, on the edge of tears as you slowly reach for him, but he puts a hand up stopping you from moving any further. He turns his face so you can’t see his expression.

“Don’t, Y/N.” Thomas’ voice is firm, but it breaks slightly when he says your name. “Just don’t.” He whispers.

You watch him and he struggles to keep himself together. You hate that you’ve done this to him, that you’re making him feel this way… you hate that you’ve caused this.

“I’m gonna go…” You voice (barely above a whisper) after a long silent pause, not trusting your normal voice due to the shaky deep breaths that begin to rack your body. You’re on the verge of breaking down.

Thomas nods. “I think you should.”

And that breaks your heart.

You feel weird leaving like this, gross even. You don’t want to leave things off like they are. You don’t want to leave things unresolved and you don’t want to leave with Thomas still angry at you. Still, though, you grab all your things and head to the doorway of his room.

Pausing to look back at him, you open your mouth to say something, but hesitate. Deciding against it, you turn to open the door and leave without another word.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

You call Maria as soon as you get to your car. She helps you keep your composure as you drive to her house, keeping you company via phone. You make sure to send your family a quick text of your whereabouts and that you plan to spend the night at Maria’s place.

As soon as you arrive in her bedroom and drop your bag to the ground, you break down and begin to sob, crashing into the welcoming arms of your best friend. You cry until you can’t anymore, and Maria is there for you the entire time hugging you and easing you through it.

She stays there, quiet and still, allowing you to let out all of your emotions. You don’t tell her the details about what happened until after you have no tears left to cry.

“Don’t be mad at T, please, none of this is his fault.” You sniffle, wiping at your nose with a tissue Maria gave you. “It’s all mine.”

“Y/N, don’t blame yourself for all this. You just want what’s best for the both of you in the long run. If he doesn’t understand that, then he’s just not seeing the whole picture.”

“I just hate arguing with him, Maria.” You say weakly, wiping at your face to dry your tears. “This is our first fight and I hate how I feel right now. I don’t want things to end on bad terms. How am I supposed to get over this feeling once we… if we break up before college?”

“You don’t have to end things on bad terms, Y/N.” Maria says softly. “You both need to be on the same page about this. If you both make a plan and sort things out, then maybe you can leave things on a positive note. Not as a goodbye, but as a see you later, you know? And if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. You’ll meet again one day and you can pick up where you left off. But if it’s not, then at least you guys can cherish what you had when you were just two kids in high school who didn’t know any better and made the most of their teenage years.”

You nod slowly. She does have a point, and this is all what you were thinking when you had even brought up the thought of breaking up after graduation.

“How do you always know the right thing to say?”

“It’s my best friend superpower. I can’t help it.” She shrugs, making you laugh, even if it was only a half-hearted one. “Seriously, though. You two need to have an honest conversation with one another.”

You sigh, wiping the rest of your drying tears away with the tissue. “I think we both could use some space right now, though. I’m going to wait until Monday.”

Maria nods. “Monday. But you have to talk to him. You can’t chicken out. I know you, Y/N.”

“Sometimes a little too well…”

“All for the best.” She grins.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

After a long and lonely weekend, Monday finally comes and you make sure to wake up earlier than usual in order to make it to school in time for when Thomas comes out of his physical therapy session with his track trainer.

You haven’t called, texted, or seen each other since Friday night and the guilt and heaviness from what happened still weighs on your chest despite the reassuring words from Maria. 

Patiently and nervously, you wait outside the boys’ locker room like you have countless times before, only this time, things feel much different. The anticipation lingers in the air surrounding you and you feel the stress push at your shoulders until the door finally opens and Thomas walks out.

After over a year of dating, you still get butterflies at the sight of him even though he’s just wearing simple black jeans and a t-shirt.

As he shrugs on his jean jacket and backpack, he glances up through a few stray curls that fall down in front of his eyes. His eyes flicker to you as he walks in your direction before he rips them away quickly. 

“T, hey how was…?” You try to speak to him, but he just continues to walk past you.

You watch him as he goes on like nothing, completely disregarding your presence.

“You’re still mad…” You trail off, falling into step with him and his pace doesn’t falter.

He doesn’t say a word.

“Listen, I know you probably don’t wanna see me right now, but please hear me out.”

Still nothing.

You know he’s still upset; he only gets quiet when he has a lot on his mind or he’s going through something. Taking in a deep breath, you speed up so that you can get in front of him.

“Thomas, hey, stop.” You say, putting a hand on his chest. You know that if he really wants to charge past you he can, but instead he stays there, halted by your touch. He looks down at you, his face nearing yours, and your eyes plead with his. “Please.” You whisper, your fingers curling into his black shirt to hold him there (or maybe it’s more of a way to ground yourself).

Thomas’ detached gaze lingers on your face and as your eyes search his, you note just how devoid of energy he looks. 

“I just want to talk. I…” You watch him as he breaks your gaze to look at the ground. “I know I fucked up; I said some things I shouldn’t have. Just please let me make it up to you. I need you, T. I want to fix this while we still can.”

You sneak a glance around you to see that you’ve attracted some attention from your fellow classmates who are unapologetically staring. Do they know about you and Thomas’ fight? How could they possibly know? You two are hardly making a scene, but then again… people are vultures who will perk up at even the slightest bit of drama.

“Can we go somewhere private? Please? Just the two of us.”

Thomas licks his lips as he looks around, then back at you lazily. “Can this wait? We have class in six minutes, you know.”

“Let’s skip.” You say, causing him to raise his eyebrows in surprise. “This is more important than class today, okay? How about we go to that diner down the street?”

“It’s a little too early for a milkshake and fries, isn’t it?”

“They have eggs and waffles, too.” You say, your eyes pleading him to accept your offer. “Please? I know you love breakfast.”

He’s quiet for a few more minutes and you wait in anticipation for his answer. Just when you get your hopes down and think he’s going to reject you, he speaks up.

“Okay.” He responds finally. “But only because I really don’t want to watch boring presentations about the social cognitive theory in my Psych class…”

You breathe out a sigh of relief. “That’s good enough for me, T.”

“Bribin’ me with breakfast. You know that shit’s my weakness…” He mutters under his breath as he shakes his head. You’re not sure if he’d meant for you to hear that, but either way it makes a hint of a grin form on your lips.

“Come on, I’ll drive.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

When you get to the diner, it’s fairly empty except for an elderly couple at a booth and a man at the counter drinking a cup of coffee. The smell of eggs and bacon wafts through the air and enters your nostrils as you breathe in.

A waitress greets you when you two slide into a booth, sitting across from each other. She hands you both menus and gets your drink orders before she’s off.

Silence fills the air between you as you both look over your menus. Thomas doesn’t say anything and it feels weird, suddenly reminding you of why you’re here in the first place. While from an outside perspective it may look like a normal outing between you two, you can feel the lingering tension in the air that’s leftover from Friday night. Unspoken feelings and unresolved problems still remain. 

You sneak a glance at him over your menu only to find him already staring back at you. As soon as your eyes meet, he looks away.

“I feel really bad about Friday.” You finally break the silence, your voice small. Wanting nothing more than to let him know how you feel, you try to catch his gaze. When his brown eyes finally meet yours, you continue. “I hate the way we left things…”

“Me too.” He finally says softly. You two stare at each other for a few more seconds and Thomas opens his mouth to continue. “I…”

Then, the waitress comes back with a couple water cups and two black coffees, interrupting whatever it was that Thomas was about to say. You and Thomas direct your attention to her with fake smiles as she asks for your orders. 

After she takes your menus and leaves, you let out a sigh as you look down at your fidgeting hands.

“Listen, T…” You begin, regret and guilt evident in your voice. You make sure to look up and meet his gaze one more time before you continue. “I'm sorry for lying to you and your family — I should have told you the day I found out, but I was too afraid of losing what we have. And I'm sorry for fucking up your day when we were supposed to be celebrating instead.” 

You stop to take in a shaky deep breath, looking down at your hands once again. “I’m so sorry if I made it seem like I was doubting our relationship or… or if I made you feel like I didn’t… like you weren’t…” Struggling to find the right way to express how sorry you are, your tone gets more and more emotional as you stumble over your words.

Thomas saves you from your struggle, however, as his hand reaches across the table to cover yours, causing you to look up at him with surprise. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”

“What?” You voice breathlessly. “I… I thought you were still mad. It shouldn’t be that easy. Why are you…?”

He shrugs slowly. “Because you’re not entirely at fault… and as much as I want to stay angry, I can’t stand seein’ you in distress like this.”

You purse your lips and squeeze his hand in yours. “I’m still really sorry, T. I want you to know that. I said some things I regret and…”

“I know you are. Especially after seeing you try to fix things today by not takin’ no for an answer earlier. We both said some things we regret and it’s okay, Y/N. Really.” His voice is soft as he responds. “I’m sorry for yellin’ and not fully listenin’ to what you were sayin’. And for bein’ kind of a dick to you earlier when I ignored you. I was in denial. I just felt like you were givin’ up on us too quickly and I… I don’t wanna mess up what we have. I really don’t.”

Your eyes soften at his words. “I know. Me neither.”

You both are quiet for a few seconds as you both struggle to find a way to address the elephant in the room. 

Luckily, you both get interrupted by the waitress again who comes back with your orders. You let go of each other’s hand when your plates are placed in front of you. Your mouth waters at the sight of your food, and you thank your waitress before she leaves again, telling you to let her know if you need anything else.

A comfortable silence falls in the space between you and Thomas, and though you feel that the tension from Friday night has now dissipated, the stress of the upcoming conversation still sits on your shoulders.

Surprisingly, Thomas is the one who initiates it.

“So…” He starts after chasing a mouthful of pancakes with a sip of water. “I’m guessin’ you won’t be comin’ back to town on holiday breaks?”

You cringe at the bluntness of the question. “What made you assume that?”

He shrugs, chewing his food before swallowing. “Just the way you were so helpless with your options. Thinking back to it, I figure that you probably wouldn’t have jumped to the possibility of breaking up unless you’d already thought things through somewhat.”

Very observant of him.

You nod before letting out a small sigh. “Yeah. My family’s planning on moving to Miami once I move out. Apparently they’re tired of the cold weather and wanted to wait to move until I graduated high school. They let me know when I told them the news.”

“Erik, too?”

“He’s staying in Philly until he graduates next Spring.”

“Well, that sucks.” He says, picking at the leftovers on his plate.

“Yeah.” You reply softly. “I just… I don’t know what to do anymore, Thomas. I thought the answer was clear, but now I’m not so sure.”

He sighs, putting his fork down before looking up at you. “I think I do.”

Your eyebrows furrow as you tilt your head in confusion.

Thom sighs, leaning back in his seat. “Well, for starters, you’re always right, let me just put that out there.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is. Well, for this instance, at least.” He says simply before he continues. “As much as I hate to say it, I don’t think we’ve got options here.”

“Yes we do, you said it yourself, T.”

“We don’t, Y/N, you were right. I didn’t wanna believe it before but now, I don’t think I have a choice.” He says, holding your gaze firmly. “The two of us going to the same school is out of the picture. Especially with application deadlines already being passed - I checked and I don’t know what I was thinking on Friday. And with us not going to be able to see each other even on holiday breaks… I don’t think that leaves anythin’ else on the table.”

“Thomas, really, you don’t have to do this. Don’t let me pressure you into something you don’t wanna do. Like you said, a relationship’s a two way street. We can work something out. I don’t know what, but we’ll try something else.”

“You’re not pressuring me, Y/N. What would that ‘something else’ be? Long distance? The chances of us visiting each other are slim, especially since I’ll be stuck at UVA for the majority of summer break for training camp. Especially since you’ll be in California and especially since you have no incentive to come back to town after you graduate.”

“You’re my incentive, T.”

He licks his lips and lets out a small laugh. “Baby, don’t fight me on this; you wanted this. Why the shift?”

“I don’t wanna lose you.” You say, voice quiet and close to tears.

Thomas reaches out across the table for your hand again. You lace your fingers with his and hold tightly. “I know. I don’t want to lose you either, but you were right, sweetheart. Seeing each other once a year isn’t good enough, let’s be real. I think we’d be hurting more than we'd be happy.”

You let out a long, deep sigh, squeezing his hand. He’s absolutely right and you knew this when you started this conversation on Friday — doesn’t mean that you don’t want to avoid it, though.

“We… we should…” He hesitates to continue the sentence. “We— God, why is this so hard?”

“You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to, T.”

He takes a deep breath before the words finally come out. “We should break up. This summer.”

It sounds foreign coming out of his mouth and his change in viewpoint surprises you still, even after talking it through with him.

“I don’t wanna be your shackle, Y/N.” He says, squeezing your hand comfortingly. “I want you to do great things without worryin’ about me. Just like you were sayin’ on Friday. And I don’t wanna risk getting to a point where we grow too distant we lose all hope.”

Your eyes tear up a little bit and you reach up to wipe at your eyes with your free hand.

“But that doesn’t mean I’m lettin’ you off easy, missy.” Thomas looks at you pointedly, his voice wavering slightly. He lets out a small bittersweet laugh before he continues. “I’m gonna consider this more of a ‘see you later’ than a ‘goodbye forever’ kinda thing. At some point, I don’t know or care when, we’ll continue where we left off. Mark my words.”

You laugh, wiping away a stray tear. You’ve definitely heard those words before. “Have you been talking to Maria lately?”

He gives you a confused look. “No, not since we went on that double date with her and Ellie like two weeks ago, why?”

“She said a similar thing to me when I vented to her this weekend.”

“Really? Oh. I thought I was clever for that one.”

“You were.” You smile, rubbing small circles on the top of his hand.

A comfortable silence settles. The waitress comes back with the check and you give her your card against Thomas’ protests. It’s not long before she comes back and wishes that you both have a good rest of your day.

“This is gonna fucking suck.” Thomas suddenly says bluntly.

“Yeah, it is.” You sigh. “But you know what? We’re gonna make the most of the next three months. We’ll laugh together, we’ll cry together, we’ll enjoy the good times, and when the time comes… we won’t look back. Then, maybe one day, when I’m an engineer and you’re in the NFL… we’ll meet again.”

He sends you a watery smile, giving your hand a small squeeze. “I’m countin’ on it, sweetheart.”

You reciprocate his smile as a small silence stretches in between you two.

Thomas’ eyes fall onto his untouched (and probably now cold) coffee and with his free hand he reaches for the cream. You take that as a sign to let his hand go to let him tend to his glorified bean water, but as you try to withdraw your fingers from his, he just holds on tighter.

“Um, excuse me? What do you think you’re doin’?” He asks, glancing at you like you just committed a sin. 

“Don’t you need to pour creamer?” You raise an eyebrow, wondering what the big deal is. “I don’t want you to spill it.”

“Girl, I can pour creamer with one hand, thank you very much.” And there’s the Thomas you know and love, not that he was ever absent in the first place, but it’s good to see him messing around again. “Let me hold your hand in peace because God knows how many more times I’ll get to do it. I gotta savor it.”

“Stoppp.” You whine, drawing the word out. “This is how you’re gonna act until graduation, isn’t it?”

“You complainin’, sweetheart?” He fake pouts as he carefully pours the cream in his coffee and stirs with a spoon. “I thought you loved me.”

You roll your eyes. “You know I love your dramatic ass.”

“Mhm. In more ways than one.” Thomas hums before he takes a sip of his coffee. He cringes when he realizes it’s cold and you laugh at his reaction.

“Ready to go yet?” You ask, amused.

He nods. “We’re not going back to class, though, are we? Because if that’s the case, then no.”

“What? Hell no. Who do you think I am?” You say as you both mutually let go of each other’s hand to get up from the booth.

“A goody-two-shoes, that’s what you are. Really, baby, I didn’t expect you to mention skipping class. That’s like… blasphemy for you.”

You shrug as he holds the front door open for you. “Guess you’re rubbing off on me.”

Thomas gives you a suggestive look and that causes you to smack his arm. “God, Thomas, not like that. Jesus.”

He lets out a full-bodied laugh as you approach your car and he grabs you by the waist as he leans back against the driver’s door. He presses a kiss to your forehead, hugging you close to him. “Just messin’.”

You roll your eyes before you pull back to look him up and down.

“When’d you get this jacket? Haven’t seen you in it before.” You muse, bringing your hands up to grab the denim on each side of his collar.

“A week ago? Maybe two? This is my first time wearing it, though.” He answers before he smirks. “Why? You like it?”

“Yeah, you look good in denim.”

“Do I, now?” He cocks his head slightly, amused as your face drifts closer.

“Mhm. The jacket really suits you.” You hum, releasing the material with one of your hands to slide it up to his jaw. You give him a soft kiss on his lips before you pull back. “Might look better on the floor, though. I don’t know. We’ll have to try and find out.”

Thomas’ eyebrows shoot up in surprise; he hadn’t expected you to turn the suggestive talk around on him. A smirk forms on his lips as he presses them to yours one more time.

“Your parents home?” He mumbles against you.

You pull away slightly to think about it for a second. “No, actually.”

“Well, then I guess we’re about to find out.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Over the next few months, you and Thomas keep the promise you gave to each other at the diner. You’ve stayed positive and lived in the moment and, to be honest, those three months have probably been the best three months of your life.

You and Thom are both making the most of your time, making sure to spend almost every weekend together. 

You study together even though you don’t share any classes. Most of the time is spent doing homework in silence, but you still enjoy each other’s presence.

For spring break, you go on a trip to the beach with Thomas, Maria, Ellie, James, Aaron, and a few more mutual friends. The week is full of banter and lots of fun-filled memories that you’ll remember for many years to come. It’s definitely one of the many highlights of senior year.

Thomas, being his over-the-top self, asks you to prom by spelling ‘Prom?’ out with bouquets of roses on your front lawn. And as if that isn’t enough, you wake to the sound of a live orchestral quartet playing your favorite song. You groggily walk over to your window to see where the sound is coming from and you’re met with the sight of your boyfriend grinning up at you with his arms gesturing around him proudly.

Of course you say yes. 

You would have said yes even if he had asked you casually — but what can you say… you’re a sucker for flowers and he knows it.

Prom night is an absolute blast. You feel like a stunner in your dress and Thomas looks unbelievably handsome in his fitted tux. You stay together the entire night, dancing, singing, laughing, and joking around with both your and his friends.

You almost lose track of the amount of date nights you have with Thomas. You have movie nights, some nights you go rollerskating, concerts, restaurants, hell, you even go paintballing together, which is something that neither of you had ever thought you’d get into.

But as June grows closer and closer, you can’t help but feel that heaviness settle back into your chest. You’d be lying if you said that you haven’t thought about backing out of this agreement the two of you have. In fact, you’ve spent countless nights lying wide awake (sometimes right next to Thomas), trying to figure out how things would go if you decide to stay together.

With your parents deciding to move down to Miami a week after you graduate, it pushes the day you move out to LA earlier than you had originally intended, which makes the idea of staying together seem next to impossible. Your mother says that it’ll be a good opportunity for you to get to know the LA area before classes start in August. 

This causes you and Thomas to have a more in-depth conversation about the plan and it ends with you two deciding to break it off a week before your big move. Both of you are in agreement that it would be best for the both of you, so that you have some time to recover. You figure it will be easier that way.

So, when the time comes to start packing your things for your move to California (and your parents’ move to Florida), you get stressed out. You notice that Thomas’ and your enthusiasm/positivity starts to fade as the date of graduation creeps closer and closer.

Which brings you to the present.

On the day of graduation, reality finally hits you. Because not only are you recognizing the fact that you’re leaving the love of your life in eight days to go to school in Cali, you’re also leaving Maria who has been a constant in your life since elementary school.

Maria plans to stay in town and go to community college to knock out all her general education classes before she transfers to a four-year university. Luckily, her girlfriend Ellie has the same idea, so they’ll be taking the same path after high school.

At least they will be together.

Unlike you and Thom, who are currently posing for a photo together for his and your parents who stand behind their phones grinning and teary eyed. You both give your best smiles to the cameras, trying to preserve the memory as best as possible without breaking.

Surprisingly, you and Thomas have stayed strong despite the impending suspension of your relationship that lingers in the atmosphere between you. Although teary eyed because you are saying goodbye to a lot of friends and faculty you’ve gotten to know over the years, you and Thomas don’t cry on graduation day. You don’t cry during the ceremony, you don’t cry during the many pictures you take that day, and you don’t cry at the large family dinner the Jefferson household holds for both you and Thomas.

You’ve both toughed it out both privately and in public. But graduation day eventually comes to its inevitable end, and the day after begins, marking your last day with Thomas Jefferson as your boyfriend.

The two of you make your last day special and have a day-long picnic in a nearby park. You wake up early and spend the entire day together, laughing, kissing, talking, and having as much fun as you can with the inevitable future looming over your heads. You both make the best of your time together, and that’s really all you can ask for.

As the day goes by, your time together begins to run out. And both of your composures begin to fade as each second passes.

While your curfew to be back home is 10pm, you and Thomas decide to hold onto each other a bit longer, so he drives you home and you sneak him into your room when your parents are too busy packing in the basement. They know that this is your last day with Thomas, so when you’re distracting them while Thomas makes his way up the stairs, you tell them that you’re going to sleep early. They comfort you for a few minutes but leave you to your own grief, knowing to respect your wish of ‘sleeping the night off.’

Little do they know, you and Thomas decide to have one more special night together. 

When you finally make your way up to your bedroom, Thomas is sitting on your bed, glancing at the half-empty boxes in the corner of your room that need to be filled. Half of your room is packed up, but you’ve put off packing lately to spend time with Thom before you physically can’t anymore.

You let out a sniffle and you don’t realize that you are on the verge of crying until you see Thomas begin to break, too.

“Come here.” He murmurs, standing up from your bed to pull you into a tight hug. 

You both cry into each other’s shoulders, fully letting yourselves go emotionally as you let out your pent up sadness. You’re getting each other’s clothing wet with tears, but neither of you care as you cling onto each other, not wanting to let go.

You don’t know how long you stay there or how long it takes until both of you calm down enough so that your tears fall silently.

“I told you this was gonna fucking suck.” Thomas mumbles against you, causing you to let out a laugh and sob at the same time.

You don’t respond, but after a few seconds, you pull away from his shoulder to look at him. Silence stretches between you before you whisper, “I love you.”

“I love you.” He echoes without hesitation before he leans his forehead against yours. You both bask in each other’s presence for a few more beats until Thomas speaks again, his words shaking. “Football won’t be the same without you, Y/N. I won’t be the same without you.”

“You played football for years before I became a part of your life. You’ll be fine, T.” You say quietly, though you are absolutely sure of your words. You bring a hand up to cup his cheek and wipe some of his tears away. “You’re gonna move on and be great and show people what you’re capable of.”

Silence stretches between the two of you before you take a step away from him as you remember something. Thomas frowns at your sudden withdrawal, but you explain yourself as you both wipe at your faces to dry them as best as each of you can.

“That reminds me…” You say, digging into one of the open boxes in the corner of your room until you feel a familiar piece of fabric. You pull out Thomas’ purple hoodie — the one he gave to you the night you officially became a couple. Damn, it feels so long ago now, but it hasn’t even been two years. “Here. You should probably take this back.”

He lets out a small laugh and takes the purple fabric from you to examine it. He seems lost in thought, but after a few moments, he shakes his head and hands it back to you. “Nah. Keep it.”

When you don’t take it, his hand reaches out to one of yours and he wraps your fingers around the fabric. You try to protest, but he continues.

“Don’t want you forgettin’ about me, now, do we?” He chuckles dryly.

“I won’t forget you, Thomas.” Your voice sounds so sure of your words that Thomas has no choice but to believe you.

He swallows and looks down for a second before he glances back into your eyes. “I know.”

“You’re gonna forget about me, though.”

Thomas shakes his head and his eyebrows scrunch together and he looks like he’s about to break again before he reaches out to pull you close.

“Never.” He mumbles into your hair before he pulls back. “Hey, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I will never forget you, Y/N Y/L/N. I couldn’t even if I tried.”

He brings his hands up to cup both sides of your face. His thumbs brush some fresh tears away before he continues to talk. “These eyes? Unforgettable. This beautiful face? Ingrained in my brain forever, sweetheart, I promise you that.” One of his thumbs lightly brushes over your lips. “Don’t even get me started on these lips. I’ll miss them for sure.”

Thomas pauses for a second before his beautiful brown eyes gaze into yours, letting you know that he truly means his next words. “I’m never going to forget any part of you, Y/N.”

You stay there, gazing at one another with nothing but pure love and admiration. Without breaking eye contact, you gingerly put Thomas’ hoodie (which is apparently yours now) back in the box you removed it from. You reach up to pull Thomas’ lips down to yours passionately. 

Thomas responds, instantly reciprocating the kiss with the same amount of emotion that you pour into it. He moves his hands from your cheeks to pull your body closer to him. Your hand digs into the material of his shirt and suddenly, you can’t get enough of each other. You both need more — to be closer — but neither of you rush anything. You take it slow and try to take in every little detail about each other.

As layer after layer of clothing comes off, you two savor the feeling of each other’s lips, bodies, and touch. Every soft moan, every sigh, every gasp, every kiss… each and every moment that you spend with each other is savored in one final heat-filled act of love.

Afterwards, you both lie in your bed under the blankets, Thomas’ arm around your naked body and your head on his bare chest. You cherish each other’s presence for one final time, basking in silence until Thomas finally breaks it, his voice barely above a whisper.

“You still sure about this, sweetheart?”

You are quiet for a few seconds before you answer, sotto voce. “Yeah, T.” You listen to his steady heartbeat as you bring your hand up to rest on his torso. “You?”

He nods slowly. “Yeah.”

A few seconds pass and you subconsciously trace little circles on his abdomen with your thumb. Thomas’ arm tightens around your waist as he pulls your closer.

“I’m sorry things have to end this way.” He mumbles against you, his deep voice reverberating throughout his chest.

“Don’t be.” You murmur, exhausted from the emotional toll this day has taken on you. But you wouldn’t trade it for the world — unless there’s a way where it doesn’t end with you and Thomas going your separate ways.

You shake your head at yourself for thinking so negatively. You promised each other something back at that diner.

“It’s not the end, T.” You speak out loud, shifting so that your head rests on the pillow and you’re face to face with Thomas. “You said it yourself before and now it’s my turn to say it: this is a ‘see you later,’ alright? So I better fucking see you later, or else.”

He laughs (oh, you’re gonna miss that laugh) and his hand slides up the curve of your hip to pull himself closer to you. “Back at ya, princess.”

You both sniffle, but you know that your time together, for the time being, at least, has come to an end — especially as both of you begin to drift off no matter how hard you try to stay awake.

“I don’t want to say goodbye.” You whisper in Thomas’ warm embrace.

Thomas responds after he brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to.” 

So neither of you do. 

And you both fall asleep, bodies entangled with one another, content to be in each other’s embrace one last time before you move away.

The next morning, Thomas wakes up before you do and he slowly untangles himself from you as he wills himself to stay strong. He dresses himself as quietly as he can before he presses one last kiss to your temple.

Then, he takes one last look at your sleeping form before he leaves, keeping his word to you and not giving either of you a chance to say your goodbyes.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

A week later, your heart beats frantically as you drop a box of things you plan on leaving behind against the wall outside of your room.

It’s minutes before you’re supposed to leave for the airport — you want to leave early in case something goes wrong and you get delayed. Sighing, you walk back into your empty room to check for any last things you may have missed packing into the many boxes that are already stashed into your parents’ car.

“Y/N?” You hear your brother call out from downstairs. “I think there’s someone waiting for you outside.”

Who could it be? You’ve already said your goodbyes to Maria earlier that day when she’d helped you finish packing.

Erik gives you a sad smile as you pass by and you give him a confused look.

“What? Who is it?” You ask, eyebrows raised. “You know we have to leave in a few, right?”

“You’ll see.” Erik says, causing you to sigh.

After determining that your final sweep (even though you’ve done it three times now) is done, you make your way past Erik and open the front door. When you make it onto your driveway, you’re shocked to see Thomas Jefferson standing there with a sheepish grin and his hands in his pockets, looking as handsome as ever.

“Thomas…” You trail off, surprised to see him after your last day together the week prior. “What are you doing here?”

Your boyfriend (well… ex now, technically) walks closer and takes his hands out of his pockets. You can see him fidgeting with his fingers as he speaks. “I uh…” He breathes out a nervous laugh before one of his hands reaches up to rub the back of his neck. 

You watch him from a few feet away as he struggles to get his words out.

“Well, I… as your… not-boyfriend wanted to say goodbye.” He says softly, shifting his eyes to the ground briefly before looking back up to gaze into yours. “I changed my mind. Leaving without saying goodbye just gutted me and made me feel like we had unfinished business. I had to see you one more time, Y/N. I-I’m sorry.” Thomas’ voice is unstable as he apologizes and you feel tears well up in your eyes as he continues. “I know this breaks our agreement and everything, but I couldn’t just let you leave before—”

You cut him off by stalking forward to wrap him into a crushing hug — a hug the two of you desperately need at the moment. Thomas doesn’t waste a second before his arms encircle your waist to hold you just as tightly to him.

Even though you had spent the entire day with each other just a week prior, the need to see each other — to feel each other — one last time has consumed you both. You agree that waking up to an empty bed without saying a proper goodbye (even though it’s what you had initially wanted) had crushed you, and it had caused you to be an emotional wreck to the following two days.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles, sniffling before letting out a bittersweet laugh. “I just made this so much more fucking difficult for us.”

“It’s okay.” You reciprocate his laugh as tears stream down your face. “It’s so worth it, T.”

A few minutes pass by as you hold each other close.

“I know I’ve said this before, but I’m really gonna miss you.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, T.” You say quietly. “So much.”

You’ve lost track of time and your mother is the one to finally bring you and Thomas back to reality.

“Y/N, we gotta go, honey…” Your mom speaks as softly as possible from her position at the front door, and you can see the guilt on her face as she watches her daughter’s heart break. “You’re gonna be late for your flight.”

You turn back to Thomas and give him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologize, Y/N. You gave me the best year and eight months I could ever ask for… so thank you.”

You look up at him for a second before you sob and crash into his chest. “I love you.”

“I know. I love you, too.” He replies softly before he steels himself. “But you have a flight to catch. Which means you need to go.”

You give him one last kiss, it’s watery from both of your tears but neither of you care.

“Go be great.” He says when you pull back. “You deserve the world, Y/N.”

He holds your hand until the grip slips when you take a step towards the car.

“See you later, Thomas.”

He smiles through his tears before he replies. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”

You get in the car and a few seconds later, your mother pulls out of the driveway (apparently Erik and your father are going to drive separately). As the car drives away, Thomas waves from your driveway until you can’t see him anymore. You know that’s the last you’ll see of him for a while.

And maybe, just maybe, you regret leaving him behind.

But a voice lingers in the back of your mind that gives you some sort of relief:

If it’s meant to be, then it’s meant to be.

[nintendousimp]

Train of Thought…

Epilogue: Marry Me, Please?

Previous 👈 Master

Word count: 2,9k

Released date: May 25th, 2021

Warnings: NSFW 18+, language and some grammatical errors.

Disclaimer: All Characters in this story are aged up!

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while now! Life hasn’t been easy and depression came and gave me absolutely no motivation to finish the story until now. So my apologies for posting it so late 😅😅 but now I’m back and I feel ready to write more! So request are now open once again!

With all that being said. Please enjoy the last part of this now completed story! I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

It had been two years since Atsumu and y/n parted ways, and yet, He still remembers that day like it was yesterday. The pain he caused his now ex-wife was something he carried with him for the rest of his life. Even though they’re on friendly terms now. The young man knows his decisions caused the woman he once loved to carry her life without him. Time moves fast when the wounds caused by another heal—something Miya had to learn.

The day Atsumu found out about y/n’s relationship with Akaashi, he was sitting outside of the old coffee shop you both used to go to. Scrolling through his social media, he noticed a picture she posted of her and Keiji at what looks to be a carnival. At first, he’d denied that it saddened him, even brought some painful memories of the past. Still, looking at the photo she took, he can tell that her facial expression gives that of a woman deeply in love. That made Atsumu happy, knowing the girl found love once again.

Done with his coffee, Atsumu signals the waiter. As he’s getting ready to pay, he noticed the young woman making her way towards him. “I hope we didn’t keep you waiting long,” the woman says.“No, not at all. I just got done with my coffee,” Atsumu says. He approaches the woman and gives her a friendly hug. “Thank you for letting me spend the day with our son. I know this must be hard for you, but I very much appreciated it”, He says as he makes his way towards the stroller to pick up the small infant boy.

At first, the boy gave Atsumu a confused look. His brown eyes focused on the sight of the man holding him. The infant stared at his fathers’ eyes for a while before falling asleep in the young man’s arms. “I wish he’d fall asleep as easily as he does with you,” the woman jokingly said. Atsumu smiled at the woman who took her backpack purse off the stroller. “Got a lot of errands to run?” Atsumu asked as he slowly put the boy back in his stroller.

“Not a lot of errands, but you did remind me that I need to stop by the market and pick up some ingredients I don’t have for dinner,” she said while taking her planner out of her bag to write that down. “ Miya san, do you got any plans for today?” she asked while putting away her planner. “We’re going to spend the day with the team going over last week’s game; after that, Bokuto and Shoyo Kun would like to take the baby to the aquarium,” he says. She handed him the diaper bag while he took the stroller from her.

“I hope you guys have a great time; remember not to let him have too many sweets and don’t let him take too many naps, or else he’ll be fussy,” The woman said as she kissed the sleeping boy on the forehead. She said her goodbyes and headed out to run her errands; meanwhile, Atsumu stood there staring at his son in complete awe. Who would’ve thought that he’d be a father?

A few months after the split, Atsumu got a call from your ex-best friend. He found from her that she was pregnant and gave birth a month or two after the divorce. At first, it took him by surprise. It had been almost a year since he last saw her, let alone heard from her. To drop these kinds of news really took everything in his willpower not to freak out.

As soon as Atsumu got off the phone with the woman. He immediately dropped everything and called his younger brother to let him know of the news. At first, Osamu didn’t know how to react to his older brother’s statement. The younger brother didn’t know whether to be disappointed or happy for his brother. To think the world was punishing Atsumu was an understatement. Osamu never believed that a pregnancy would come out of his brothers’ infidelity; he never thought of his brother as the father-type man; nevertheless, he decided it was better to advise his twin brother to take responsibility and be in his sons’ life.

Even if it was the right thing to take responsibility for his son, Atsumu felt like he’s betrayed y/n once again. She often wished to have his children; he remembers the times she’d get up in the morning to check on her cycle to see if she were ovulating. He also recalled that one time you both went shopping at a mall in Tokyo. He thought he lost the girl that day. He later found her in a baby store, looking at the baby outfits. Atsumu saw the joy in y/ns eyes when she picked out and bought two of the infant outfits.

The whole way home, they both talked about baby names and what future their children would have. She had even joked that his genetics would take over their children, and they’d end up being in love with the volleyball like their father. It made Atsumu so happy to know that she daydreamed about having a family with him. At the time, he would’ve wanted nothing more than to give her the life she wanted with him. He would’ve done anything to have children with her, but dreams can become the worst of nightmares.

The disappointment of finding out you would never become a mother really took a toll on you. You had become so depressed you rarely left the house. It took Atsumu months to get you to agree to do something with your free time. Around that time, you begin to take an interest in writing your book while your husband was out of town for volleyball tournaments. Neither Atsumu nor you noticed that you both had distanced yourselves from the other. You both did however noticed how often you’d get into arguments and days where you’d much rather spend your time working away from home than be in the same room as the other.

That night you didn’t come home was all it took for Atsumu to break the bond that shared your marriage. He knew what he’d done; he cheated on you. Atsumu wasn’t dumb, but he found comfort in her. The nights he spent with her (although it was so wrong of him to do!) were nights he felt loved. Atsumu has always had a talent for reading people. It’s what makes him one of the greatest setters in Japan. Your best friend was no different. He knew that she was falling in love with him. However, he told her many times that she meant nothing to him. He knew as well that he was falling for her too.

To avoid feeling that way, he always made sure to remind her every time after they’d fuck that he’d never leave you and never to think otherwise. He knew what he felt for her was more like a coping mechanism rather than love. It was lust and being loved by another woman, something he became so dependant on.

Even though it’s a thing of the past now, Atsumu is happy being a father. “Yer the one person I love the most, I hope you know that, my mini-me,” he said to his sleepy son. “Let us go meet up with your crazy uncles, or they’ll never leave me alone,” Atsumu said while pushing the stroller onto the sidewalk.

When it came to y/n’s love, Atsumu knew there was no way he’d ever win her back. Especially now that her relationship with Keiji is getting pretty serious. The only good thing from his relationship with your now ex-best friend is the child they now co-parent together. At the end of the day, nothing mattered more to Miya Atsumu than his son.

…

The night Keiji came clean of his feelings for y/n, He remembers he smiled at the fact that she was a blushing mess, like a high school girl getting her first confession. That’s what she reminded him of. It was even more shocking for him to know that the girl reciprocated his feelings back. The happiness she brought him that night was one he wanted to keep experiencing with her for many lifetimes to come.

Later that night, he was driving the girl home from the date. Akaashi remembered she had fallen asleep on the passenger seat. Even though he was focused on the road, Keiji couldn’t stop glancing at her every chance he got. He’d always found y/n so beautiful. To the man, this was a surreal moment. He never thought he’d be in love, let alone his feelings be reciprocated back. With just one look from the girl, the man became foolishly in love with her. Keiji dreaded the drive to her house. Part of him wished the morning would never come. He wanted to keep her, even if it was for just a little longer.

When they arrived at y/n’s place. Keji noticed the girl was still sleeping; seeing how peaceful she looked, he decided it would be best to carry the girl and bring her inside. He got out of his car and walked to the front door. Once he unlocked the door, he returned to his car and opened the passenger door. Akaashi unbuckled the girls’ seat belt while trying not to make too much noise and gently picked her up. He made sure to pull her out of the car without moving her around too much.

He shut the car door and made his way inside y/n’s house. Keiji took the girl straight to the bedroom and laid her on the bed while taking her shoes off. Carefully he pulled the comforter from underneath to cover her up. Tucking a loose strand of hair that previously covered part of her face. He stood there for a bit, admiring how peaceful she looked. He leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead. He got up closer to her ear and whispered, “Can I keep you forever?”

As Akaashi was getting up to leave, he felt the girl’s hand lightly pull on his jacket. “Will you stay with me tonight?” she asked while rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. He blushed at her request. Keiji has spent many nights with y/n. It was usually the nights where they would work on her book or when Bokuto came back from his many trips and wanted to spend time with the both of them. But they never spent the night as a couple. “Please stay with me tonight. I don’t want to fall asleep without you.” Keiji took his jacket off and placed it on her chair. He went to her closet and took out a pair of black shorts and his old volleyball T-shirt from years ago.

While Keiji was changing out his clothes, the girl was slowly drifting back to sleep. Before that could happen, Y/n got up from under the covers and went to get changed into more comfortable clothes. She went back to the room and found Keiji was already under the covers, reading a book he found on her bookshelf. “Ready for bed, sleepyhead?” The girl nodded as she walked towards the bed. Once she was inside the covers, y/n consciously moved closer to Keiji to feel his warmth. He found a stopping point and placed the book on the nightstand next to him.

As she made herself comfortable, y/n was fast asleep; or so Keiji thought. He felt his eyes get heavy. As he was falling asleep,y/n got up close to his ear and responded with, “I’m already yours, Keiji.” She kissed the man on the cheek. The girl laid down and went back to sleep. What y/n didn’t know was that Akaashi heard everything but was too embarrassed to say anything back. He couldn’t believe that she listened to what he said to her. He pulled her closer to him and fell back asleep. After that night, the man knew that he wanted to marry the woman sleeping right next to him.

…

A few years have passed since Akaashi confessed his love to Y/n. As of now, a lot of things have changed. A year and a half ago, before things started to get serious. Keiji had asked the girl to move in with him.

The woman looked at him, shocked. “Did you causally just ask me to move in with you, Keiji?” The man looked up from his computer and said, “yes,” and continued back to typing. The girl couldn’t help blush at how honest and causal Keiji became around her. Over the years they’ve been together, the woman noticed how Keiji loosened up around her quite a lot. He became more affectionate physically and would call y/n cute pet names like my love or darling.

When Keiji went out of town for important meetings, he always made sure to send y/n her favorite flowers to let her know he’s thinking of her. To say that she hadn’t thought about moving in with Keiji would be a complete lie. y/n wanted nothing more than to live with the man she loves, but her mind kept wandering back to the time she and Atsumu lived together. It made her realized she’s been living on her own for quite some time. It made sense to moving in together, but why couldn’t she tell him yes already?

By now, Keiji felt the room go silent. He got up from his chair and walked to the sofa, and sat next to the girl. Placing his large hand on top of hers. “I’m sorry for suggesting us moving in together. I should’ve known it was too soon.” He said. “I want nothing more than for us to live under the same roof finally. But are you sure you want this Akaashi?” y/n asked. She reached to grab his face. It didn’t even take him a second for him to lean into her touch.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t sure, my love. It wouldn’t make much of a difference since a lot of your stuff is already at my place.” The girl chuckled at the man’s comment. She pulled his right arm and leaned her face on his large hand. Keiji rubbed circles on her cheek as she stared lovingly into his eyes. “Let’s move the rest of my stuff this weekend. I’ll ask Bo and Omi if they can help out.” He got up from the sofa and pulled y/n up with him for a hug.

He didn’t need to say anything to the girl. She knew how he felt. Keiji couldn’t hide the happiness he felt that night when you agreed to live together. That weekend, Bokuto and part of the MSBY team came and helped get y/n moved into Akaashi’s place. It took her a week to unpack and organize all her belongings.

Living under the same roof took a little to get used to. Not once did Keiji regret his decision to live with y/n. Every day started and ended with her. The number of memories they built over the years they’ve been together as a couple made Akaashi realized he wanted to grow old with this girl.

…

The day their anniversary came. Keiji planned to take y/n to the ocean, where they had their first date. When they arrived, Akaashi found the spot where they had their picnic. He placed the blanket on the ground and signaled the girl to sit down with him. He puts the basket in between them, opens it, and hands her an onigiri. She thanked him for the food as she took a massive bite out of it. He poured sake into one of the cups he brought and gave the drink to the girl. They both ate and drank and conversed for a while.

Once finished with their food. Keiji and Y/n sat in comfortable silence. Watching the sky fill up with stars while listening to the ocean waves. He couldn’t have planned a more perfect date. He glanced at the girl who was still distracted looking at the stars and quickly pulled out the small velvety box from his jacket pocket. He set the picnic basket to the side and moved closer to where y/n was sitting.

Y/n laid her head on Akaashi’s shoulder without taking her eyes away from the view. He kissed the top of her head and rested his head on top of hers. Half an hour went by; Keiji got up from sitting on the ground and pulled the girl up with him. As she was stared into view of the ocean, He got down on one knee and took out the ring from the velvet box.

“Hey, Y/n?” Akaashi asked.

“Yes, Keiji?” she asked as she turns to look down in shock at Keiji, who was on one knee, holding an engagement ring in one hand.

“Marry me, please?”

…

And with that concludes Train of Thought! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story! I was beyond static to receive so much positive feedback and I truly appreciated!

Summary:

L/N Y/N a young adult working on their first ever book with the help of editor and friend (Akaashi). Discovers that their husband has been cheating on them for the past few months that they’ve  been working nonstop. Heartbroken y/n decides to drown herself in their work. Will they be able to Forgive their cheating husband from his infidelity or will they approach the man who fell in love with them while working on their book?

© All fiction rights of the story belong to @nintendousimp​

Characters belong to Haruichi Furudate.

Taglist: @h0wab0utw3d0ntd0that , @brnda7rdrgz , @tsukkiswifeey

[violeswaifu]

🌸YUKIMURA CHARACTER/ROUTE/EVENTS SPAM!!🌸:

Lately I’ve done a lot of spams that I hope people have liked. I’ve done a spam on a lot of shadow routes but also 2/3 of the top rated Slbp rated characters.

(Saizo✅ and Masamune✅)

(I combined Saizo’s with his little brother, both different summaries ofc)

So I guess it’s time to include Yukimura in a spam? Here’s my collection of photos of him and lengthy opinions as always. Like a lot of words ahead

Our lovely Donut lover. I actually like donuts a lot and this is something we have in common so like +500 for you

The Sanada brothers are so amazing and adorable haha. Nobuyuki was actually in an event recently, idk what to think yet but he’s hilarious in the routes/events. Yukimura has a really fun and unproblematic family so it’s always refreshing 😂 (totally not hinting at Saizo and mainly Masamune)

Our so called shy boy seems to know what he’s doing hey?

☝🏼these screenshots were right next to a picture of my husbands (like my real life one) sleeping face and idek why but it was hilarious.

Did you read the claim me at last epilogue or remember it? If you want more screenshots of it let me know 😂it’s a will do

I always like including these type of pictures, considering giving a girl a hairpin or Kanzashi, often were signs of marital status, class, etc. But right here samurai give their women hairpins as in a marriage proposal, correct me if I’m wrong though

So before we begin: I tried my best with this review, for some reason writing this review had me on like 100 with being hyper. I also asked a friend to assist me since it’s been awhile since I’ve done Yukimura’s

Route summary as always kinda spoilers:

Remember how I said Masamune’s route gave me my virginity back? Yeah Yukimura’s is full on cavity sugar filled rom-com with the dark military drama

He’s kinda like a “I SHALL GIVE MY LIFE FOR MY CLAN AND MILORD SHINGEN! 😈” but mixed with a “😳🥺”

Sanada Yukimura , The Sword of Japan. One of the Sanada Ten Braves and second son of the Sanada clan

favorite food consist of donuts🍩

His weakness: women

So basically as most light routes go:

you get sent off as a poison tester in place of your younger brother Yahiko. Disguised as Yahiko you arrive to Shingen’s castle with a big pat on the back.

No really Yukimura was quick to welcome you into the ranks of men. Gotta be with the bros right? He’s so cheery about it too, like he’s so pumped up about MC being there that his retainer even had a: “I didn’t know you were doing that kind of recruiting” statement

I’d also like to add, Yukimura and Masamune visit each other’s routes quite often 😂

(tbf the only reason Masamune found out MC was a girl was because he pulled out his sword on Masamune and it cut her. SO THANKS YUKI!)

This was from a recent event story 👇🏼

Anyways, as Yuki starts to experience confusing attractions to MC (his whole experience with this is fucking hilarious)

But bam all of a sudden Yukimura finds out the MC is actually a woman because silly MC ups and slips off the roof one lovely evening and by accident he touches her chest while grabbing her. He puts two and two together then realizes, “oh shit” she was a girl.

He’s so horrified from having done this to her that he later swears to protect her and help keep her identity a secret. (He’s so cute isn’t he 😂)

Long story short, this fails because Saizo figures it all out (ofc he did lmfao) tells Shingen

she almost died

Spoiler: After Saizo and Shingen engage in a conversation about this, they concluded that MC might be a spy for the Oda. So they ordered her to be beheaded (ouch)

and then Yukimura is like

“WAIT SHES MY WIFE!��

then next thing you know they’re on their way to meet the Sanada fam.

So although there is the cute, happy parts, you’ve gotta expect the sadness ahead.

So one thing, as always the parents in this game aren’t always angelic..or alive.. haha sorry

Yuki’s dad well his dad’s expectations for Yuki is to die in battle basically. So that’s pretty interesting to look for in this route. Especially because MC’s father died giving his life up to war.

MC is pretty badass in this one too, she’s got her risky battles and their hard challenges.

MC is awesome because yk she’s not gonna just let this guy go and kill himself.

So she does something special

Spoiler:

She gave her dads hairpin to him before battle so as a promised he’ll live to return it for her.

To conclude:

MC: 9.5/10

Funny and cheesy vigin 101: 10/10

Sadness and angst: 7.8/10

Hot and bothered: just wait for the claim me at last event

Anyways Yuki is really fun and events don’t do him justice with his goofiness. I’d say it’s definitely worth it. Saizo and Yuki are definitely a good pair to do

Hell finish off the family and do Nobuyuki and Shingen next if you haven’t done it 😂

If you haven’t done Shingen’s yet: Beware, his is literally so smutt filled 🌝

Any questions or want recommendations just comment below.

Want me to do another character that I haven’t done?

(Someone actually asked about the top three the other day @gay-noodle-clan thanks for the idea 🥰)

-Raaven

-(Thanks Phebe for the help with this!)

Oh yeah I wrote this at 1:20am exactly for no specific reason.. it’s currently 9:20am and I’ve edited this so if you saw this before the edit..I’m sorry you had to see the hyper

Shadow routes I’ve reviewed:

Naraukami Kyoichiro

Kirigakure Hotaru

Mitsuba Kaede/Sogo

Routes I’m currently doing: Fujibayashi Genya

Routes I’m doing next: Fujibayashi Sakuya

My Favorite routes:

Hotaru and Kyoichiro (they are the best pair to do in the shadow routes)

[ordinaryschmuck]

My Stories Ranked from Worst to Best (According to you guys).

Oh my gosh, it's been a whole year since I have been writing The Owl House fan fiction! ... Oh my gosh, it's been a whole year since I've been writing The Owl House fan fiction...what I am I doing with my life. But regardless, it still has been a year. And within that time, I wrote ten different stories, each with its own varying degrees of success. So today, in celebration(?), I have ordered all that I have written from worst to best. Or, more accurately, you guys have ranked them. Because this list is based on the amount of kudos each story got, and take a shot at why some might be more popular than others. I'll also leave links to each one so you can form your own opinion. With that out of the way, here's the list:

10th place-The Nurse House (181 kudos): This is a story based off of someone else's AU where instead of Luz being a human trapped in the Boiling Isles, she's a witch trapped in the human world. And, instead of Eda being Luz's caretaker, it's Camila. I haven't continued this story since August. And because of that, it hasn't gotten as much attention recently. I do have plans to continue The Nurse House. But it's gonna have to wait until I finish my other projects. As for why it's not doing so good, it's probably either my writing ability or the fact that this fandom rejects anything that doesn't have Lumity in it (which is dumb, I know). Whatever it is, I'll find out when I eventually do work on this story again.

9th place-Baby Talk (187 kudos): This is my most recent story and is also the first one where I had others beta read it. I wanted the conclusion between Luz and Amity about having a kid to feel genuine. And how while neither is in the wrong, they're both not in the right either. But, I guess I didn't do as good of a job as I had hoped.

8th place-The Truth Comes Out (190 kudos): This story might have a similar problem with The Nurse House. It's a story about Luz coming out to her mom, and as far as I can tell, there's not much that's wrong with it. Again, maybe because there's no Lumity, or it's because of my writing ability. I don't know, and I doubt I ever will.

7th place-Same Day, Different Perspectives (230 kudos): With how popular It All Started with a Jacket was doing, I felt weird that I gave no proper introduction to these versions of Luz and Amity. So that's what I did, and, yeah, reading back, it does seem like there's a pacing issue. Still, it has parts of what I assume people like about It All Started with a Jacket, so maybe it's not too bad to check out, right? Right?

6th place-Cupid's Army (339 kudos): I won't lie. This entire story is being written just for the sake of me writing some dumb joke I have planned in the epilogue. And it might not be as worth it as I thought it was. Still, I tried my hardest to write a solid story with a few jokes and interactions between characters that haven't interacted much within canon. So while that ending joke may not be worth it, this story might be.

5th place-Get This Right (Baby) (339 kudos): This story is about Luz proposing to Amity. It has a few cute moments of domestic fluff, some jokes, and the usual jitters one has when popping a question so big. But, rereading it, there is a pacing issue as I jump through different dates almost at random, and it might be a story better off if I split it into separate chapters instead of writing it all at once.

4th place-Help from the Helpless (468 kudos): This is actually the story I'm most proud of. I wrote it for Luz Appreciation Week, and I really wanted to dive into what makes Luz such an incredible character. By exploring her seven most crucial relationships, I wanted to prove that Luz is the light of everyone's life while also giving a perspective into why acts so nice to begin with. It may not be perfect, but while it takes fourth place for everyone else, it's always going to be number one in my heart.

3rd place-Texts to Home (751 kudos): Here it is. The very first story I wrote for this fandom. Even before tons of people joined and continuously obsessed over Lumity, I felt weird that there weren't many stories focusing on Luz and her mother, which is a shame. Because to me, their relationship is really interesting. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and dived deep into Luz and Camila's bond as mother and daughter by having Luz talk about her day at "summer camp." It's the easiest thing in the world for me to write, not because I'm basically recapping episodes, but because Luz and Camila's relationship is a lot like me and my mom's. So writing their interactions is simple as thinking about how my mom and I would talk in these specific situations. I'm proud of how it turned out, and here's hoping season two will allow me the chance to continue this story in the future...whenever the hell that will be.

2nd place-Holy Matrimony (958 kudos): For a time, this was my top-rated story. It's Luz and Amity's wedding, and it is most likely everything that comes to mind when you think of it. And trust me when I say that my ego increased by tenfold after all the sweet and wonderful comments I got from this one. It did so well that I thought that I might as well add more to this story...unfortunately, I Star Wars'd it by writing an unsuccessful prequel and somehow an even worse sequel. But, hey, at least the original is still fluffy and fun!

1st place-It All Started with a Jacket (1730 kudos): Let's be real: You all knew that this was going to be number one. It is my most successful story yet, and you've all made it pretty clear why. It has chemistry between beta Luz and Amity, it's quick and easy to read, and the snark is some of my best snark yet. And the crazy thing is, I initially didn't want to make more of it. It was meant to be a one-shot as a gift for @drabbles-of-writing, but because people asked for more, I just went, "Eh, why not." And holy s**t did I not see the popularity coming! I have no idea how I still keep you all interested enough to read more, but no matter what, I'm glad that you all take the time to read each chapter. Here's hoping I don't do anything to screw it up in the future.

And that's my list. Would you rank things a little differently? Well, give them each a read (if you want) to see for yourself how you rank them. Thank you all so much for reading and loving my work, and I'll see you next time for whatever I write next.

[justkending]

One Night Flame (Epilogue)

Series Summary: Y/N is a 3rd grade teacher, who had a really bad breakup. To help cheer her up, her friends convince her to go out to a bar on a school night, something she never does now a day, and things take an unpredictable turn. The stranger she meets, and later has a one night stand with, may be harder to get rid of than she thought.

Pairing: Y/N Carter x Dean Winchester

Word Count:  2200+

A/N: Pretty sure I wrote this series last year, and I’m just now getting around to writing a epilogue... OOPS! Anyway, finals are this week, so as soon as Friday comes... I’M FREE FOR 6 WEEKS BEFORE THE NEXT SEMESTER!! Which means, hopefully I can sit down and write:) So, enjoy the little I can write right now, and if you haven’t read the series yet! Please do! It’s a good one;)

Epilogue:

“The turkey Dean! The turkey!”

“Right! Right! I’m getting it…” Dean came from the living room, running through the backdoor as the timer went off for his experimental smoked turkey he was trying out for thanksgiving this year. 

“How do you think it’s going to go?” Sam asked, grabbing his wine glass that you had already refilled twice since he’d been there. 

He was helping you with the side dishes as Jess and her grandparents were in the living room, playing board games, waiting for dinner to be ready. Mon and Benny were also there for your feast since you and Dean had introduced them to each other about a month ago. They had really hit it off actually. Hence, spending thanksgiving with friends this year since they didn’t have really close family. 

“Honestly, pretty good. As soon as he got that damn smoker, he hasn’t stopped researching and finding recipes to use it. Even did a few practice rounds with brisket and pork,” you replied, putting the last bit of the deviled eggs on the platter in front of you before setting it up nicely. 

“Ok, but a whole turkey compared to brisket?” Sam questioned, raising his glass with an eyebrow just as high. 

“Yeah, you’re right. That’s why I doubled up on the sides, and I have a ham in the oven,” you chuckled, placing your hand on your belly unconsciously. 

Sam looked down at the motion. Everyone close to you knew. You told them pretty soon once you found out everything was healthy and on the right track in the pregnancy. 

“So… When do you guys figure out the sex?” Sam said, stepping closer and with a smile. “It’s getting close to that time right?”

It was. You were a little over 3 and a half months pregnant. You were the tiniest bit showing, but as soon as the bump became even a little visible, Dean couldn’t keep his hands off of your stomach. It was like he had magnets connected to them. You actually had gotten the results back yesterday, but were waiting to tell the whole family. Dean wanted to wait until his parents were in town, but as soon as you got the letter he almost ripped it open in excitement. Lucky for you, you hid it and convinced him to wait one more day like you planned. 

“Yeah actually. We, um,” you leaned in making sure no one snuck into the kitchen while you told him the little secret. “The letter came yesterday. We’re planning on opening it with all you guys after dinner.”

“After?!” Sam shouted, getting a hush from you. “Aw, come on. You’re going to make us wait?”

“They don’t even know their waiting,” you giggled, turning to the rolls now. Making sure the butter and silverware was out for final touches. 

“But I do, and now I have to wait,” Sam kinda pouted reminding you of Dean. 

“Hey, you asked, and I answered. Plus, you’re going to be waiting 45 minutes max. Who’s to say Dean can even wait that long,” you laughed again rolling your eyes. 

“Ok, turkey is done, and boy do I have a good feeling about it,” Dean said coming in with a proud smile. 

“Have you finally mastered the smoker?” you asked, placing a hand on you hip and the other on straightening your shirt. 

“Oh sweetheart, can’t you smell the victory. I’ve more than mastered it,” he winked walking over and placing that magnet of a hand on your belly without even thinking twice. 

“It’s not just in the smell. We have to taste it too,” Sam snorted. 

“Shut up bitch,” Dean huffed. 

“Dean,” you groaned knowing Jessie was in the other room. 

“Jerk,” Sam retorted instantly. 

“Children!” you interrupted. “Dinner smells amazing, and we should probably invite our guest to eat it before it gets cold. Hmm?” you said poking Dean’s side. 

“Ok, ok. I’ll start carving the turkey. Sam go get everyone,” Dean leaned in giving you a peck on the cheek before moving to the giant bird wrapped in foil. Once Sam was out of the room Dean pulled you close to where he was. “So, you have the envelope?”

“It’s still tucked away from you, you little sneaker. I’ll grab it once we finish dinner.” You maneuvered to where you leaned your cheek on his shoulder and a hand around his back as you watched him carefully begin to carve the turkey. He wasn’t wrong, it did smell amazing. 

“I was thinking maybe before dinner, and then we eat in celebration,” he said bargaining with you. “I mean, I was just thinking…”

“Just thinking? Like thinking all night, just thinking?”

“Maybe…” he dragged out. 

You let out a sigh with a little laugh as you squeeze his bicep. “Ok you impatient man. I’ll go get the envelope. We can do it before dinner if that’s ok with everyone.”

Dean pumped a fist in the air before giving her a big kiss on the cheek. “You go grab that, and I’ll finish carving up this bad boy. Hey Sam, you got everyone?” he shouted toward the living room as Y/N walked out. 

A few minutes later, everyone was in the kitchen looking at the buffet style of thanksgiving goodies scatter across the counter tops. Mashed Potatoes, rolls and biscuits, turkey, gravy, vegetables, stuffing, sweet potato and green bean casserole, the list went on. Y/N walking in last with the envelope in her hands discreetly. Dean saw her slightly wave it at him and he smiled before clapping his hands together. 

“Ok everyone, first off, thank you for allowing Y/N and I to host this year and bring you to our house. We are so very thankful for each and everyone of you, and could not ask for a better group of people in our lives.” Dean smiled as Y/N came and positioned herself into his side. Reflectively, his arm wrapping around her waist pulling her as close to him as he could get her. “We are also very grateful for another thing that happened to us this year,” he grinned, moving a hand to her belly. 

“Immensely,” Y/N smiled at him. The crowd in front of them happy to see their love. “Because of that, we thought why not have some of our favorite people here to share the next step in our news.” She turned back to them. 

“Wait, what next step?” Mary asked, standing next to her husband.

“Oh, hell yeah,” Sam cheered, getting a small slap to the arm by his mom at the language. “Sorry.”

“Wait, do you guys know the gender?” Smart little Jessie spoke up.

“That we do,” Dean grinned all proud. 

“Hey Jessie,” Y/N said, bending down some to her level. “The results are in this envelope. Do you want to open them and read it for us?” 

“I don’t want to mess it up,” she said, slightly nervous. 

“That’s ok. I’m sure your dad would love to help you,” Y/N encouraged.

“Yeah, come on over here Jay. I’ll help ya figure it out,” Sam said squatting with open arms. 

She nodded, taking the envelope and Dean helped Y/N back to her feet before they stood next to each other ready for the reveal. 

“Oh, this is so exciting!” Monique jumped up and down. The rest of the room balancing on their toes in excitement watching Jessie and Sam open the little white paper treasure chest. 

“I’m going to have another grandbaby!” Mary cheered her hands held tightly together as John laughed. 

“Ok, let’s see,” Sam said, scanning the paper for the information, and then pointing it out to Jess. “You ready?”

The excitement for the parents caused them to hold each other tightly in anticipation. 

“Can I say it?” Jessie asked, waiting for confirmation as she looked at her dad. 

“Yeah, go for it.” 

“It’s a girl!” Jessie jumped up and down as Sam smiled. “I’m going to get another girlfriend!”

“Oh my God!” Dean shouted, turning to Y/N and picking her up off the ground gently. The rest of the room cheered and jumped with joy as well. “We’re having a baby girl!”

“We are!” Y/N laughed holding onto Dean.

Once everyone had had their moment to jump and scream, they went around hugging and congratulating the couple. 

“I say we dine to that,” Dean said, raising a beer. 

“I agree with that,” Y/N nodded, raising her sparkling cider. 

Everyone dug into their meals and conversation went around the table. Some about school, some about the fire station, some about John thinking of adding on to the garage he ran. But the main topic of interest… Baby names? Nursery ideas? Who do you think she’s going to look like? When is the wedding again?Are you going to take off extra time at work? Have you gone dress shopping yet? How about babysitters? Do you know any around the area? 

“Oh, don’t worry about babysitters. That’s what the grandparents are for. And since I work from home, I’ll gladly take her off your hand when the time comes,” Mary winked. 

“We’ll definitely be calling you sometime mom. Don’t worry,” Dean laughed leaning back after a full meal. “Now, where’s the pie?” 

______

Later that night.

“So a girl? You think you can handle that?” Y/N smiled as she pulled the covers back and maneuvered to her side of the bed. Her nightly routine was all done as Dean brushed his teeth in the connected bathroom. 

“Of course I can handle that. I helped Sammy raise Jessie. What? You think I can’t do it? Think of me as a boy dad?” Dean wrinkled eyebrows after spitting the toothpaste out. 

“Dean, no one said anything about you not being able to do it. I’m just saying, and even Jessie hasn’t got to this age, girls tend to grow up and-” she started. 

“No, no. I’m not talking about growing up and starting dating, if that’s what you’re getting at. Cause she’s still a little bean in your belly, and even after she comes out, she’ll be a little bean forever,” Dean started.

“I was going to say that I feel like teenage angst with girls is a lot harder, but you just skipped right to the dating part,” Y/N laughed, grabbing her book on her bedside and gently running a hand up and down her stomach. 

“Either way, I’ll take care of it,” Dean said as he flossed in the mirror. “By the way, any of those names mentioned at dinner sound any good to you?”

“Although I love your mom, I don’t think Bertha is going to be up there…”

“Yeah, I don’t know where she got that. I think it was a family name way back when, but I’m not even so sure about that,” Dean cringed coming back in the room. “What about Daisy? That was Jessie’s, wasn’t it?”

“Eh, not bad, but I feel like there is something better. No offense to Jess.”

“Yeah, agreed,” he said, sliding in the bed and making himself mold into Y/N’s side as she read her book in one hand, and played with his hair in the other. 

“What about Winona?” Y/N offered. 

“Like Ryder?” Dean perked up.

“Well I guess, but that wasn’t who I was thinking of. Just liked the name,” she chuckled.

“What about Ryder? That’s badass,” Dean said no in his own world. When he didn’t get a response he looked up to see Y/N with a bitch face. “What?” 

“Nothing, dork,” Y/N sighed. “But let’s keep our options open. 

“Ok, hit me with another.”

“I like Reese…”

“Not bad, not bad. What about Dakota?” Dean countered. “I have a really good friend that lives up there in South Dakota.” 

“Who do you know in South Dakota,” Y/N shrugged, going back to the book in front of her. 

“Same person who was able to pull some strings and get me your address when I first met you,” Dean admitted. 

“What?” Y/N said looking back at him. 

“Her name’s Jody. She’s in the police force up there, and she has some outs and ins with the big people,” Dean wiggled his eyebrows. 

“You little rascal. You really went above and beyond to bring me that scarf back,” Y/N laughed. 

“I had to see ya again darling. Can you blame me?” Dean leaned up kissing her cheek. “Hey, let’s talk about all this tomorrow. Cooking up Big Bird himself made me tired. Then you add in-”

“The 3 slices of pie you ate on top of your thanksgiving plate? Yeah, you’re about to have a carb and sugar crash.”

“You guessed it.”

“Get some sleep Dean-o,” she smiled as he cozied up into her while she read her book. Within minutes his soft snoring took up the room. Like every night, he had to fall asleep with at least one of his hands on her stomach. She woke up with him doing the same thing too. “You’re going to be an amazing father, Dean Winchester. Glad I’m doing this with you.”

One Night Flame Tag:

@a-magey @thatgirl1456 @marvelfansworld @shadowkat-83 @death-unbecomes-you @closetspngirl @perpetualabsurdity @deansyahtzee  @vicmc624 @classydreamerprofessorpeanut @sisterslytherinog @carryon-doctor-lock @spndeanlover1967 @akshi8278 @jjlevin @parinarain @capsiclehan @word-scribbless @kind-im-gedankennebel @camillechan @larpandtherealgirl @winchestergirl82 @i-am-a-mes @atomicloverdonkeyperson @tranquility-or-chaos

Supernatural Tags:

@flamencodiva @hobby27 @sucker-for-dean @deans-baby-momma @squirrelgirl67 @death-unbecomes-you @snffbeebee @larpandtherealgirl @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @spnbaby-67 @akshi8278 @musiclovinchic93 @vicmc624 @carryon-doctor-lock @perpetualabsurdity @herscrunchiehairtie @spnwoman @shamelesslydean @monkeymcpoopoo @winchestergirl82 @luciathewinchestergirl @deansyahtzee @thatgirl1456 @sucker-for-dean @atomicloverdonkeyperson @screechingartisancashbailiff​ 

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @traceyaudette @kakakatey @notyourtypicalrose @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @snffbeebee @thefaithfulwriter @marvelfansworld @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan  @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @carls1022 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted