#also idk if any actual painters do this but I’m too lazy to go get water so I just take leftover water from my water bottles

[be-fae-do-crime]

Practicing with my silly little watercolors ^_^

[ID: A drawing of Hatsune Miku done in pencil and watercolor. She is wearing a sleeveless pink turtleneck over dark grey, wide-legged jean shorts with star embroidery on them, and has black fingerless gloves on. Her fluffy hair is tied into two twintails, and the hair strands at the sides of her face each end in 3 spikes, giving them the appearance of sparkles. Her hair fades from dark teal to pink. There is a red “01” tattoo on her shoulder and her visible ear has a cuff and three piercings. She has one hand in her pocket and the other up in a waving position, and is looking boredly up and to the left. The majority of the drawing is done on a yellow post-it note, with the bottom of the shorts and legs continuing onto sketchbook paper. The drawing cuts off just below the knees. End ID]

[whatevenis2016-blog]

I just want my life to be different lol

I've been trying to find a new job bc I am so sick of my current job. It seems like my boss has no respect for me, bc it's a small business I don't even make minimum wage, I have to work every weekend and get a huge amount of shit if I want a weekend off (like once a year I ask), I'm a trainer so I always work with shitty new people and my boss doesn't even appreciate all the crap I have to deal with, it's food service which I obviously don't want to do forever or even much longer bc fuck that, I've worked there for almost 3 years which is way too long at a job like this. I want a different job that pays more, where I only have to work Monday through Friday, and work morning through early afternoon. At least until I go back to school in the fall. But like there only like 2 people left a work that I even like working with. So it's just a bunch of little thing that are all piling up until I hate work. And my coworker is also trying to find another job but she's afraid that if she gets a new it'll be worse than our current one. But idk maybe she feels that way but I don't think there could be a job that I like less than my current situation. Bc even if the job kind of suck, the pay will still be good, the hours will still be good. Ya know? I think it'll be fine, I just need out, I don't even care. I also hate school and don't want to go back. Like I'm regretting my whole school plan. Going straight from high school into college, first bad move. I should have taken a break bc now I feel like I'm dying. Going to a 4 years school instead of a 2 year, second bad move. I wish I had just gone to a 2 year school, got a degree in business and I would be done by now, like holy shit. I'm currently going to school for Studio Arts which I know is stupid. Who gets an art degree? Retards. That's who. But my "emphasis" is Graphic Design. So like obviously not as bad as like a painter, cuz then I would really be screwed in the employment department. But like the thing is, I don't really like Graphic Design? Okay maybe that's not right... It's more like I don't think I would like other people telling me how to make "art" for my job..? Cuz I wouldn't be able to make things I like, or do things my way bc it will be for someone else. Ya know? So I feel like I would either hate doing it, or my clients who hate my work. So like I'm feeling like I'm going to minor in Business like a smart person. I'm gonna go ham on that and then just finish my major up but really focus on my minor. Like I really just want to get a normal "desk job" tbh, work Monday through Friday. I feel like most people would hate that, or be their worst case scenario but I would be so down for that. Do the same thing everyday, have every afternoon and weekend off? Sounds great. And then in my spare time I can do all the things I actually enjoy. And I could possibly do some freelance graphic design in my spare time. But I really don't think I want to try and make a living out of that. Or I could try my hand in greeting cards and stuff cuz there's quite a bit of money in that market. I also want my appearance to be different. I don't like my current hair colour and I don't really have the time or money to do anything with it. I also chopped all my hair off over a year ago and I've finally decided to grow it out. But it's very short so it will take an insane amount of time to grow back. And it's at like an awkward length and I don't like the way it looks but the catch is, if I cut it to make it look better I would be losing length. In the long run in that worth it? Probs not. So I'm just kind of dealing with hair that I over all don't like. But once it gets to a decent length and I have money I'm gonna get extensions again. And my hair will look nice and I'll be happy. I've also gotten very lazy with my makeup which also makes me sad bc I don't feel that great about myself. I also want to buy all new cloths (bc I'm a girl and that's what we do) but I'm broke for 2 reasons, one bc I don't get payed enough at work and 2 bc my dad hasn't been working since he's had surgery. So I've been trying to save as much money as possible to we can, you know, live? And stay in our house? So in essence meaning not really having money for makeup or hair stuff or a lot of other stuff. Actually my work shoes are so fucked rn and people literally make fun of me but you know what? Fuck them. I don't have money to be buying a pear or shoes just for work? Plus I hate my job so that also adds to me not buying shoes for there. I also really want to get fake nails bc I love them. They look so nice and they make me feel good but again no money. Plus I fractured my finger a while ago and lost a finger nail. Sooo if I did get fake nails I would just be missing one nail lmao. When I finally have money one of the first things I'm going to do is buy a desktop computer. But it's gonna be crazy experience, I already know. Bc I want at least 2 monitors. One for graphic design (school and freelance) I think it will really help me get better bc I'll be able to work on stuff outside of school. It I'll be a touch screen and be adjustable. In addition to the monitor for graphic design I will need all the software. Then a second more standard monitor. I want both Windows and Mac on both monitors. I want to be able to game using both monitors. I want them to be able to use them individually and also simultaneously. Eventually I want to get all the stuff I need to live stream, so webcam, mics, headset, speakers. But like idk what I want to do first... Cuz I really want the set up to game.but I should probably get the graphic design stuff first... Or the other option would be to get the gaming monitor and cpu, then get both Windows and Mac and then get a drawing tablet thing instead of a touch screen monitor? Maybe probably. That would probably be the less expensive route.. and then just using external hard drives probably to keep my gaming and graphic design stuff separate. I also want to draw more and be better at drawing. But like I never have any motivation or inspiration to draw and or don't have time to do it. But maybe if I get the computer set up that I want, that will help with motivation. And if my work doesn't suck that much maybe I could sell my works online? That would be cool. I also want to get back into jewelry making and that's something else I could potentially sell which would be cool. Overall: No fucking idea. Like nothing about my life is how I want it to be except for my friends. I have awesome friends and a great boyfriend. But like I never get to see them bc of work and my dad stuff so even that sucks. But I have a plan. I know what I want, I just have to get there. I'll get there. Someday The thing is I know I can get to where I want eventually but like I don't want to be that old when it happens. Like it would suck to not be able to do all the fun things I want to do when I'm young bc I just can't bc of money or shitty jobs or school or so on. And like better late than never? Idk idk I don't know how I feel about all this. I just want to be happy

[baereaved]

All of the odd-numbered OC asks!! >:3c

u devil~ thank u for all the asks omg

send me some oc questions~

1. Your first OC ever?

kairos. i think. probably.well in all honesty i had plenty of self-inserts before him OTL OTL OTL but i think  he was the first proper oc i madei might just think he was first bc he was the first one i hallucinated, but eh. he’s been around a good while

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

i haven’t omgstraight up didn’t know that was even, like, a thingsomeone let me adopt ur child

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

screamsmorgan, probablyi mean u can’t rlly know morgan w/o knowing the other dozen ppl in his universe anyways sOplus he’s adorable and important to me, so who better, reallyi feel like he’d be the one i’d write about if i was gonna, like, make a book or webcomic or smth

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

in the sense that i’ve made them up, then yesand in the sense that some of them are ocs for other actual stories, then also yesin the sense that i’ve ever written anything for them, absolutely noti’m way too lazy to write OTL OTL OTL

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

i mean someone can take catboy if they really want them like they were a Mistakebut for the most part i quite like having them all to myself lolololol

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

jesúswhich makes sense, considering his namesakein my mind when i made him i was like “if ur gonna name him jesus u can’t be givin him all the perfect traits like he still needs flaws and things” and then that just. didn’t happenhe is sweet and gentle and quiet and kindand also he’s traumatized and terrified of acting out and he screams in his sleepbc i’m a terrible person and i love to torment my smol kids

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

god, all of themcielle, notably, since she will fuck u up and also. winters. she’s literally my dgm oc whose general is winters and they get along terrifyingly well, so. yes.also katrina and benji and dessa and hendrik and reese and rien and nyla and listen, i could go on

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

yes, absolutelyi also enjoy it when ppl tell me abt their ocs, mostly so i can grill them for oc info lololol

17. Any OC OTPs?

jesús and luc, dessa and shiv, olivia and ekundayo, rien and the sweet embrace of deathi rlly need more couples so, like, subject to change

the rest are under the cut~

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

i don’t think i even could pick oneumi haven’t mentioned enlil yet, i suppose, and i mean? he’s not very developed, but he brings me an indescribable amount of peace when i talk/think about him, soi’m not actually sure if it’s okay for me to use that name, but eh. if not people can yell at me and i’ll change it. names are hard sometimesbut anyways i don’t have much of anything on him? he’s deaf. generally pretty calm and relaxed. like shiv, except actually a good personidk what it is abt him, he just?? puts me at peace? makes me feel good? like i only made him last year but he’s like, the personification of what nostalgia feels likeso he’s really important to me just bc of how comforting he is. like just thinking abt him could probably get me out of an anxiety attack

21. Your most artistic OC

santa is my nameless oc (as in, the game. he clearly has a name) so 1. he is art and 2. he is an artist himself lol, mostly a painterhelena is pretty artistic too, and is a sculptor

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

already answered~

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

listen okay all of them started out as self-inserts. all of them. they’re all at least partially based off me.i’ve been thinkin abt this for an hour and i still can’t come up with anything OTL i’m p similar in different ways to all of them, so i’ll have to leave it at that lol

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

already answered~

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

nyla, for fun, and benji, bc he’s Cool and Edgy and mr. survivalist who would probably be an actual detective if he wasn’t, like, 14

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

i was gonna talk abt my bae rosaire here but he’d be a youtuber, somona is my edgy 13 yr old bab who would probably have a blog full of anarchist shit and different alternative rock lyric postsalso, she’d be part of that shoplifting side of tumblr

33. Your shyest OC?

rosetta nicoletteshe’s the softest and purest and everyone needs to protect her

35. Any sibling characters?

pollux and isabela……i think that’s it. i need more siblings asap

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

santa’s a doll. dessa and shiv are a demon and angel, respectively. i have a couple other angel charas too that don’t have names yet but are gorgeous, so |D also all my space charas aren’t human. opluxx is an ogre. i think. catboy is self-explanatory.

39. Introduce any character you want

ekundayo is my beautiful bab and also olivia’s long-distance gfi haven’t done a ton of development on her but i love her bc listen they’re one of those relationships where olivia is literally the most stoic intense fucker around who will kill u and ekundayo is the purest and softest around everyone but then u see them together and olivia’s obviously happy and totally whipped by her sweet but also unexpectedly dom gf and i love them, okay

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

well. yes, but we had a falling out since then, so i feel it’d be wrong to post it herei’d love to see some more fanart of my ocs~ i should commission smth from someome sometime

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

already answered~

45. A character you no longer use?

o'malley johnson, valentia, kiriko and akumukiriko and akumu were my old bleach ocs, o'malley johnson was just a kickass dude, and valentia was my stereotypical yandere childsimce i don’t care for bleach anymore and i don’t have universes for valentia or o'malley johnson, i haven’t done much w/ them, but i still like the last two

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

i don’t think so? maybe. hmu

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

god, rienrien would be the worst anti-sjw shitty memelord and i ha te