#also i'm suffering a lot rn cheers

[chauves0uris]

so i was at the dentist today because i have chronic dental problems. every time i have to go to that damned place, i'm completely out of it, and i feel the same way afterward. and i was just thinking that jean would totally be the type of person who would be so incredibly grumpy before and after every dental visit.

for the first time, after being in california for a while, he starts to have a terrible toothache. used to his old habits and also out of some inexplicable fear, he doesn't tell anyone about it. but the feeling gets more and more unbearable with each passing day. eventually, cat notices that jean is eating really strangely and even grimaces when he bites down. she spends the whole day urging him to make an appointment. laila and jeremy join in as well. for the sake of peace and quiet, jean finally does it.

when the day arrives, he's as stiff as a board from morning and answers everything in monosyllables. at the appointment, it turns out that the tooth needs a filling. after experiencing the dental tools and the sounds they make, jean goes home and shuts himself in his room, gets under his blanket, and wants to forget the whole thing as quickly as possible. he doesn't say a word to anyone for the rest of the day because honestly: what the fuck was that?

[nights-at-crystarium]

on authenticity

My mood in the recent months keeps going from bad to worse. Today I randomly fell into the rabbit hole of checking out other patreon artists, which always grounds me in reality and cheers me up, perhaps in a weird way. Essay incoming \o/

Authenticity is a blob of a word that sounds almost pretentious nowadays. It gets sneered at. You either sell your soul, or you don't earn with your art.

What's authentic, being true to yourself, will vary from person to person. It's like a sliding scale of suffering that you will tolerate in exchange for a coin, while convincing yourself that you have fun.

The harsh truth of modern world is that if your art pays for your living, you've already reached success, no matter how you may feel about the type of content you actually make for that money. Insert the meme furry nsfw art here. Or not furry. Or even sfw, but comms, lots of comms every month. Or merch. Anything that sells. Products first, art second.

Marrying passion and profession is virtually impossible, yet I'm doing it, only thanks to your support. I'm acutely aware that, even as I choose to be "real" and talk about an artist's money-making in a raw way, it's still patreon talk, and yes, I'll plug the link as well, so technically this entire post is an ad *fingerguns*

I just feel so privileged being able to create whatever the fuck I want, literally, I take no comms/requests/guidance on what and how should I draw/write, I post experimental, sometimes provocative stuff, and still make enough to survive. This sole fact should get me through the day, whatever other struggles I may be facing currently (I am. I don't wanna talk about it rn, instead I distract myself with this text), I should always remember the unique place in life I managed to carve for myself.

There are madmen (gender-neutral) who toss $10-20 at me every month. The majority "only" pledges $1, the notorious tier that gets treated as a tip jar with no rewards by many other creators. All of my rewards are the same at $1 and $20 (save for the one-time digital artbook download at $10, just to be perfectly clear), it's a conscious choice and a risk I continue taking because it's how I am. I used to split rewards between tiers in the past, before xiv, and it was a lot of busy work while it made me treat my art less as art and more as product. This pic goes into the cheap box, this pic goes into the expensive box. Every month. It's. Definitely not for every artist.

Logistic hell of splitting and delivering rewards, different posts with less comments per post, also my discord roles/channels would have to be split, nowadays it's just patron, whether you give me $1 or $20, there's no visual disparity, you're hanging out in the same cool kids' club, and collectively making happy noises on Fragments Fridays.

Could I be making more money if I got rid of the $1 tier? Yeah. But, mercifully, after 2 years I don't need to. I legit make enough currently, my only worry is to keep what I have. Patrons don't stay forever, 2-5 people would leave every month, about the same number would join (hence my patreon ads, I need to keep people reminded of it, even if it makes me feel guilty every damn time). I did Research (tm) in the past to find out that my "bleeding" numbers are below average, i.e. it's good, people generally tend to stick around.

I put a lot of emphasis on the $1 because I'm kinda proud of what I managed to accomplish while staying self-detrimentally humble. Literally doing an impossible thing in a world that keeps burning down. So yeah if you've been feeling bad for only giving me $1, what matters is that there's enough $1s to make a difference. Together you're creating a phenomenon, and you should be proud.

There are many stupid little principles, hills that I'll die on, that make up my authenticity. I chose to speak of it here and now in order to sorta sell myself, so it feels hypocritical x'D But if I don't shine a spotlight on this, who will. I'm old and jaded and increasingly terrified of how insincere the internet's becoming. Everything's fake, sugarcoated, polished for sale. My art's always been a scream of defiance against all that, now that I'm more or less established, I wanna scream louder. Thanks for hearing my screams. You can scream with me too if you want.

[drowsystarlight]

oooh wait MORE asks I am a fan of these ask games they rock (all of these are about Five again cause I know them, but if you give me a crash course in your OCs from other places even if I'm not in the fandom I would be Very Happy :D nothing quite like losing your mind over your own fictional characters, is there?)

🧡 - Is your oc honest? Why or why not? Are there only specific people they’re honest to?

🌇 - What does it take for your character to trust someone? Do they have to prove themselves? Or does your character not trust anyone no matter what? What made them this way? (I know parts of this from Heartbeat but I'd love to hear more!)

🍁 - What brings your character joy? Do they find happiness in the small things? Does it take a lot to cheer them up?

🥕 - How does your character treat themselves after a long day? Do they buy something new? Maybe they eat a sweet treat? Call someone they love? Take a hot bath?

✴️ - Is there anyone your oc admires or looks up to? What qualities of this person does your oc admire? Do they want to be like this person one day?

also your art is the prettiest thing ever and while rn I'm Broke one day I WILL buy a commission from you because your art really is amazing and I love it so so much

AYYEEEE NO WORRIES I LOVE FIVE ASKS!! my ocs are here and there and i havent had the time to yap bout them recently so maybe someday >;3 THANK U FOR THE ASKS!!! <3

🧡 - Yes and no . There's only specific people they're honest to, and 9 times out of 10 they have no problem with lying to a stranger about something . They don't trust people that easily, or at all :3 However they will tell you the truth about it months later if they get close

🌇 - AHHH YOU READ HEARTBEAT YIPPEE!!! theres a whole another chapter in my file but i havent drawn anything for it so im keeping it there for now LMFAO,,, anyway, it doesnt take much pther than time and kindness . it doesnt matter if Five likes or dslikes you, eventually theyll form a more solid opinion of someone and they can earn their trust by then :3 My Five was alone for years before the start of the ZR series . being alone, lonely, and isolated for so long does that to you </3

🍁 - Don't tell anybody else . Cats . ANY cat, real or not

🥕 - Unfortunately they don't . Five thinks rest is a treat . it's not a treat and its a normal basic human need . They learn this from Abel people eventually--by that time, they treat themself with some sweets :DD

✴️ - Janine . They love that she's a leader and is put together, knows what she's doing, etc etc . They admire her for being strong and stern and level-headed . They also admire Maxine and Sam for being kind and warm people... Also Yes. They want to be like them someday

THANK YOU!!! RAHHGH,,, i always see your reblogs and notes and tags and it always fills my heart with warmth,,, it means so much to me especially now that im suffering thru my art college thesis,,, WAHGDSH

[fanfic-chan]

Tokyo Revengers Boys When You're Sick

Ft: Mikey, Draken, Takemitchy, Mitsuya, Baji, Hakkai, Chifuyu, Nahoya (Smiley), and Souya (Angry)

Creators Note: These were inspired by the fact that I am very much ill rn, and decided to write about these guys to cheer myself up! Ik it's not the typical theme of my writing, but I hope you guys will enjoy them regardless!^^

Tagging: @duckymcdoorknob @ticklish-n-stuff @nataliewritez

Mikey:

Honestly? He's not exactly the best option, but he's not the worst either.

For the most part, he's pretty chill for a caretaker, so for things like minor colds and stuff, he's actually the preferred choice for most of the gang members.

He's the type to sit and watch TV with you while you recover, and gives you ice cream or popsicles to soothe your throat. He also takes full advantage of the opportunity to make a blanket fort. Says it's to cheer you up, which is partly true.... But he also just really loves blanket forts.

He'll try to bribe you into taking medicine, but won't force you too, since he's also hesitant with taking the nasty cough syrups and pills that make you drowsy, so if it's not too bad, he might consider letting you off the hook.

Also, sorry to disappoint, but he can't cook worth a flip, so all of the chicken soup you get is gonna be from a can and cooked in the microwave. Half the time it's not even warmed up enough, but he tries his best nonetheless, and he'll keep reheating it as many times as it takes to get you to eat something.

Absolutely believes gatorade is a cure all and makes you drink a ridiculous amount of it while you're recovering. He thinks the yellow kind is a sin though and if you ask for it, he'll look at you with so much disdain in that moment that you'll wonder if he's plotting to murder you.

Overall, a great option if you're only suffering from something minor, but if you're really, really sick? Best to call someone a little more strict to put you on the right track to recovery!

Draken:

100% the mother hen of the group. I'm taking no criticism on this.

He doesn't exactly hover, but he is the type to check in on you periodically, and weaseling your way out of bed is going to be near impossible without a good excuse.

He won't take any bullcrap about medicine either, so unlike Mikey, you're not going to get much leeway with him, no matter how insignificant the illness.

If you ask him nicely, he might allow you to watch TV for a while if you're not too ill, but it comes at the cost of having to take a proper nap later.

If you have a fever though? Sorry about your luck. He might give you a book to entertain yourself but you're not getting out of that bed until your temperature is back to normal.

His style of care usually results in a lot of boredom for his reluctant patients, but on the flip side, they always recover remarkably quickly, so no one can really complain.

Takemitchy:

Takemitchy is definitely the type of guy to rush straight over with multiple bags worth of pharmacy supplies the second he hears someone is ill.

He's a bit of a nervous wreck about it, but he's actually not half bad at taking care of people when they're sick.

I feel like his adult side tends to present itself a lot more during times like this, especially with those that are really sick. It kind of baffles people how mature he sounds at these times.

He'll speak soothingly to them as he presses a cool cloth to their head, and always handles any of the tedious work involved with a smile.

His main goal is to make his patients as comfortable as he can, but he can also be surprisingly insistent when it comes to medicine and keeping them hydrated. Not Draken levels of strict, but he's not like Mikey either. He usually ends up resorting to some form of bribery.

He's a pretty good person to rely on during times like this... Except for the fact that he almost always ends up catching it too not long after... Oops.^^`

Hakkai:

He's admittedly a bit of a nervous wreck, probably worst than Takemitchy to be honest.

Given the type of upbringing he had, he's not very experienced with things like this, but he'll do his best nonetheless.

He's the type to go to the pharmacy and get at least 3-5 different types of the same medicine just to be sure he gets something you can take. The poor pharmacy workers usually have to help him pick out what he actually needs so he doesn't try to buy half the store.

Constantly calls and texts Mitsuya the entire time for advice. Eventually to the point he just comes over himself to help after he gets the fourth call wondering if he should bring you to the hospital because you sneezed a little too hard.

Once he gets the hang of things, he'd probably be pretty okay at it, but he definitely needs some practice.

He's very gentle and only wants the best for the person he's caring for, so even if he doesn't quite know what he's doing, he'll put his best foot forward regardless.

Not the best option when it comes to overall experience, but if you give him a chance, he'll do his best to help you all he can until you're better.

Mitsuya:

Andddd, the second mother hen of Toman enters the chat.

Absolutely knows what he's doing the entire time, and is probably the most knowledgeable out of all the Toman guys when it comes to this kind of stuff.

He's taken care of both his little sisters for years, so he has plenty of practice with all kinds of random colds and stomach bugs.

Has a whole arsenal of different natural remedies that he's acquired over the years to help speed up recovery and relieve symptoms.

He's pretty similar to Draken in a lot of ways when it comes to care, but he's also a little softer about it if that makes sense?

Has a bad habit of shifting into older brother mode with his patients, and will often slip up by saying his sisters' names when he's preoccupied and talking to them, running his fingers through their hair, putting on cartoons, tucking them in, humming, etc.

He often gets teased about this, but he doesn't really take it to heart and usually just laughs it off. No one really minds it anyway, and most see it as just one of his more endearing traits. Some even find it comforting, though they won't admit it.

He also doesn't get sick very easily, and rarely ends up catching anything himself, so telling him to stay away for fear of spreading it to him won't deter him much.

Maybe I'm being biased just a little, but he'd absolutely be my first choice. Mitsuya knows his stuff.

Chifuyu:

Has absolutely no idea what the heck he's doing.

He'll show up to your house with a ton of random supplies, though half of them don't even make any sense. Amongst all the saltines, soup cans, and cough syrup, there are a bunch of things that even he doesn't know why he brought them. He just packed/bought them out of panic and impulse.

"Chifuyu.... Why is there a 5lb bag of gummy bears in here?" "...You don't like gummy bears? 🥺"

That sort of thing.

Once he gets the hang of it, he's not that bad at it, but he's definitely very awkward and nervous about it.

He's somewhat hovery, but more in a distant sort of way, since he's afraid to make you feel worse. He'll kinda just watch you from the kitchen while you sleep on the couch, or he'll pop his head in your door 40 times per hour if you're in your room.

He reads the back of the medicine bottle at least seven times for fear of overdosing you.

Totally forgets to look at the front label because of it, and unintentionally knocks you out cold for seven hours with NyQuil.

He still hasn't stopped apologizing for that yet.

Baji:

Baji is.... Admittedly not the best person to call for this sort of thing.

Depending on who you are, he might even hang up when you call complaining about your cold, telling you to 'keep your germs to yourself' and to 'man up' lol.

On the off chance that he does decide to come help you out though, he'll do his best, but much like Chifuyu, he's very inexperienced at this kind of stuff

Baji is the type to ride out his illnesses the hard way, and he treats his patients no differently.

Soup? That's for wimps. Just eat a peanut butter sandwich or something.

Medicine? That's not how you build an immune system. You stomp that illness into the ground with nothing but blood, sweat, and tears.

In most cases, he'll end up having to call Draken to come bail him out cause he made the person he's taking care of cry.

His only good trait is that he's basically a walking space heater, so if you can trick or bribe him into sitting next to you, you get a heating pad that doesn't need any electricity or to be reheated.

Makes up for everything else tbh.

Souya and Nahoya:

Ultimate good cop, bad cop duo. Angry being the good cop in this situation, while Smiley is the bad cop. Ironic right?

Smiley is more the tough love type who makes you take your medicine, eat, stay hydrated, etc.

He won't admit it, but he honestly gets a bit of a kick out of watching their grossed out faces after taking medicine. It's half the reason he even agreed to this in the first place.

Angry, on the other hand, is the type that gets super empathetic about it. Super cuddly and sweet, and he's eager to do whatever it takes to help you get back on your feet.

His one problem is that he tends to get sick a lot easier than Smiley, so it usually ends with both of you being sick and being taken care of by the older twin for the last half.

Yeah. Mr. "Murder! Yay!" Is going to be you guys' nurse for the duration of your sickness. Good luck...

But at least you have someone to suffer and watch stupid shows with?...

[visualtaehyun]

Feeling utterly unhinged about Hidden Agenda rn so here's an aimless meta? linguistic meandering through the episode?? Eh, bit of both, I guess.

Disclaimer: I'm still learning Thai so feel free to correct me on anything 🙏

Part 2/4 currently doesn't have subs (watching without any subs turned out to be easier than I expected) so I don't know in how far the subs make it clear but-

When Joke first comes to Zo's dorm and meets his mom, he expectedly addresses her as คุณน้า (khun naa). It's a polite way to address an aunt (specifically the younger sister of one's mom) or address a woman who could be your aunt, age-wise.

As we saw, they seemed to have bonded pretty quickly over cooking so I was delighted to hear Joke call her คุณแม่ (khun mae) already when she invites him to stay for dinner. It's a polite form of address for someone's mother - you could call your friend's mom this, a teacher might address a student's mother like that, it's a respectful way to call your partner's mom or even your own if you're that formal with your parents. Zo's mom most likely offered it to him.

Apart from this linguistic context clue, I think it was pretty obvious how grateful Zo's mom was for Joke bridging the gap and letting her know a bit about what Zo is up to these days. He doesn't seem to talk to his mom much at all but then again he keeps his feelings inside a lot anyway. It's lovely that Joke encourages him to be more open with his feelings and thoughts, not just towards Joke himself but everyone! He's really been consistently trying to get Zo to come out of his shell, experience new things, and be less passive.

Let's talk about the food Zo's mom made! (At least as much as I'm catching, with the lack of subs 🥴)

It's all Southern Thai dishes, อาหารใต้ (ahaan dtai), which are generally known to be spicy hot hence Joke's suffering and sweating lol

Food pictures courtesy of this handy-dandy Wikipedia list, where you can also read up on these and other Thai dishes if you're interested!

The dish Joke and Zo's mom rescue from burning to a crisp is หมูหวาน (moo wan), "sweet pork".

Next up is the curry that Zo's mom makes sure to serve Joke: It's called แกงส้ม (gaeng som), orange curry, in Southern Thailand but everywhere else it's called แกงเหลือง (gaeng lueang), yellow curry, or แกงส้มใต้ (gaeng som dtai), Southern Thai orange curry, to differentiate it from central Thai แกงส้ม (gaeng som), orange curry. The one in the picture above is made with fish.

A clearly struggling Joke says he likes Southern food, especially กุ้งผัดสะตอ (goong phat sataw), shrimp stir-fried with the "stink" beans we see being used as a punishment/challenge at the end of the episode. The picture above is of the pork variety of this dish, หมูผัดสะตอ (moo phat sataw).

I'm not actually sure what the dessert is that Zo's mom shows up with as the boys are having A Moment™. But judging from the color, I'm gonna assume it's grass jelly, เฉาก๊วย (chao guay).

As for the tongue twister / pronunciation exercise - the translators did a nice job in choosing an equivalent English one but that can't stop me from sharing the Thai one hehe

ยักษ์รักลิง /yak rak ling/ = giant loves monkey

ลิงรักยักษ์ /ling rak yak/ = monkey loves giant

ลิงน่ารัก /ling naarak/ = cute monkey

ยักษ์รักลิง /yak rak ling/ = giant loves monkey

So here's how Joke ends up using it to continue to be dorky-sweet to cheer Zo up flirt:

ยักษ์รักลิงแล้ว /yak rak ling laew/ = The giant loves the monkey (already). (It's possible he says อยาก /yaak/ here, my ability to distinguish tones ain't all that, in which case it would be Want to love the monkey.)

ลิงรักยักษ์บ้างปะ /ling rak yak baang bpa/ = Does the monkey love the giant at all?

ไม่ต้องรักยักษ์ก็ได้นะ /mai dtawng rak yak gaw dai na/ = Don't have to love the giant.

แต่แค่กลับมาคุยกับยักษ์เหมือนเดิมก็พอแล้ว /dtae kae glap maa kuy gap yak meuuan deerm gaw paw laew/ = Just going back to speaking with the giant same as before is enough.

I'm still in disbelief that Zo could make this smitten face at Joke yet not realize that Joke basically just confessed to him!

This show keeps on driving me crazy with how these characters look at each other, in general. There's a lot of tension, and with how JoongDunk and P'Tee have talked about this series and these characters, I'm kind of expecting that tension to resolve in

SPICE

[souvenir116]

I am completely new to this world the formula 1 just start with vagus race as i had nothing the whole week so watched all day so have a lot of q

1- is charles , hamilton , russel , gasly , carlos great ? Who’s better ? Who’s probably will collect trophies or world number 1 ? Cause it’s obviously I didn’t like max so not cheering for him have to choose another one

2- what happened between carlos and charles didn’t get it

welcome!! hope you enjoy f1!! i think you should support this guy hescalled cat meowstappen and hes p6 in the standings right now but his time will come I trust...

and long story short since Charles is p2 in the standings and the team wants to maximize the wcc points, Charles and Carlos agree on a plan before the race, then during it, carlos' engineer tells carlos to not put charles on pressure while charles' engineer says carlos won't overtake you. not the same sentences and miscommunication. theres allegations that carlos' race engineer was doing it on purpose since hes known for not being a fan of charles (im underestimating rn) and theres also allegations on how carlos kept max in drs zone on purpose for Charles to not get quicker (charles was behind max at the time/ not able to overtake) so he made charles' race more sufferable which shouldnt be the case w a teammate especially if you agreed beforehand to not do that. then carlos went on to press and said "I'm not a guy who whines on radio " which he does, a lot, and he subtly scolded Charles on why he's talking about what happened on post race radio to the press as if he should keep his mouth shut, etc etc

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

hii! im kinda having a hard time rn so i wanted to request a marilyn x fem reader. they are gfs and both work at nevermore. the reader is having a hard time with some stuff and marilyn starts to notice over a couple of days (at the house and at the school). marilyn sits the reader down and tries to talk with them but the reader just says they’re “fine”.

a couple days later while they are doing their routine before work and the reader starts breaking down into tears and explains to marilyn how they are feeling. (a lot of fluff/marilyn going full protective mode)

Yess!!! Since I've read you're not okay, I decided to give priority to your request. Look, I don't know what are the problems you're having, but you have to know that everything always is gonna be all right. I suffered a lot of problems when I was at school years ago, and those days were the worst of my life.

But now I'm a new person, and I don't care what other people thinks about me. I know I can't do nothing to cheer you up, all I can do is to write this for you, and to let you to know that here is a friend to listen to you if you want to talk to someone!! Be strong and love yourself, it's the only way to happiness :)

Every little thing, gonna be all right

Pairing: Marilyn Thornhill x Fem, Teacher! Reader

Warnings: Angst, hurt & comfort, mentions of depression

Word count: 2,254

Summary: You’re having a hard time, and there is no one who could cheer you up, or so you thought

N/A: Requests are open!!! Sorry about the delays, I’m working hard on your requests. I love you all!!! Sorry about the language mistakes, and please, be happy, life is wonderful!!!

The beep of the alarm clock brought you out of one of your anguishing nightmares. Normally you had no problem getting up, but for a few days, it was more difficult than ever. You turned off that horrible sound with a sudden blow and looked at the ceiling with a blank look.

“Another shitty day…” You whispered in a low voice.

Next to you, your girlfriend moved as she did every morning, hugging you half asleep.

“Good morning… (Y/N),” she said with her voice still asleep.

You hugged her to your chest.

Marilyn wasn't the problem. There was really nothing wrong with your life. You had a job, a house, a perfect girlfriend. Anyone looking at your life from the outside could be envious. That wasn't what made you wake up tired, sad.

It was some kind of transitory phase, or so you thought. Stress was also to blame. It was exam time and you had a lot of work. You stayed up very late correcting and that also led to a terrible lack of sleep.

You were depressed, listless, but you couldn't show it, not in front of her. Marilyn was so kind and so protective that she would surely call Larissa to tell her that you couldn't go to work, that you needed her care and words of encouragement. You probably needed them, but you didn't want to admit it.

It was enough that you were like this. You didn't want your girlfriend to suffer. She was too empathetic and you didn't want to give her a hard time. You decided to hide.

“Good morning, Mari,” you said, feigning a happier tone. She snuggled closer to you with a warm smile.

“I don't want to go to work…” She whispered childishly. “I want to stay here with you.”

If it wasn't for her, you'd be completely lost. Her words were the only thing that kept you tied to reality. Without her you would have gone completely crazy.

A thunder was heard outside. The weather was not helping your spirit. It hadn't stopped raining for three days, and that could depress even Marilyn, who always seemed like the happiest person in the world.

The idea of getting out of work was tempting, but you shook your head, noticing how the redhead fell asleep again.

“Come on, lazy girl. Larissa is going to kill us if we're late again,” you said, shaking her gently. She made a groan of protest as you pulled back the covers and looked up at you with a tired look.

“Lately we've never been late…” She sighed, sitting up on the bed. You were taking off your pajamas to get into the shower and you looked at her with some embarrassment. She was right. Normally your love made you lose track of time in the mornings. You've already been reprimanded several times for being more than an hour late.

But not anymore. You hadn't made love for days. You knew Marilyn didn't want to bring it up. Your tiredness was very evident in your eyes. You felt guilty, worthless for not being able to give your girlfriend all the love you had for her. That conversation would come soon, but you tried to make it as late as possible.

“I know, there's a lot of work and…” You started to excuse yourself, taking off your pajama shirt. Marilyn smiled warmly at you, and she hugged you from behind, kissing your now bare shoulder.

“Calm down, (Y/N). It wasn't a reproach...” She whispered to you, giving you a pat on the back. “Just an observation,” she teased, winking at you.

You made a superhuman effort to smile back as you went into the bathroom. A hot shower would certainly do you good, but you can’t have good luck even with that.

“Ahhh! Damn!” You yelled, feeling a jet of icy water on your body. Marilyn ran in.

“My God, what's wrong?” The redhead asked, stunned by your abrupt reaction.

“The, the hot water…” You stammered. “It, it doesn't work…” Your words trailed off at the same time that the water began to heat up.

Marilyn shook her head and gave a slightly wary smile.

“(Y/N), you have to wait a while, you know…” She told you, incredulous by your reaction.

You were angry. Angry for making a fool of yourself, for feeling frustrated and for not being able to vent. You would never think of paying for it with her. It wasn't her fault, no one was.

Things were as always. A hot shower with your girlfriend, a quick breakfast, and a horrible cold when you leave the house.

“Let's go in my car today,” you said, pressing the keys’ button. Marilyn nodded, but when she turned her gaze, her face changed.

“Umm, (Y/N)…” she said shyly, nodding towards the vehicle.

“What?” You asked, opening the door. The rain was starting to wear off your patience. Marilyn only pointed to one of the wheels. “Oh, no”

It was punctured. Definitely everything around you seemed to be against you. You snorted and leaned your head against the vehicle.

“Surely it was the other day branch. I told you we should have taken a better look,” The redhead said, putting a hand on your back.

You pursed your lips and stepped away from the car. You had to make a great effort not to answer rudely or abruptly.

“Yeah, I've noticed, thanks,” you said with your voice a little wrapped in anger.

The road to Nevermore was as boring as ever. Whenever you weren't driving, you were the DJ, playing upbeat and uplifting music to start the day off right. Not that day, you only listened to the local radio station.

“(Y/N), are you alright? Normally I have to fight with you to turn down the music,” Marilyn asked you.

You looked at her briefly and then put your head back on your hand.

“My head hurts,” you lied, although the lie was even worse.

“Don't worry, when we arrive we'll ask the nurse for an aspirin and…”

“No, no, no. I'll pass. It must be the pressure change due to the storm...”

There was no further conversation and you were grateful that it was so. You didn't want to speak badly to her, she didn't deserve it. She gave everything for you, always, and you used to do the same. You used to.

The classes were bad. Your patience was running low, and you didn't feel like joking like you used to. You were abrupt, sulking, not wanting to put up with the whispers of the kids. Naturally they noticed and kept silent, looking at you almost fearfully.

The bell rang and you felt a certain release.

“Go away...” You sighed, letting yourself fall into the chair. The students looked at you strangely, surely wondering where their usual teacher was, the one who always joked when explaining a writer’s life.

It was too late for lunch and too early to dinner. You pulled out a file cabinet full of overdue papers and began to read them, angrily pulling out your red marker. There was going to be a lot of bad results.  

“Stupid, stupid!” You said furiously, putting a huge X on one of the jobs. “It's not Marie Curie, it's Mary Shelley, you idiot!”

“(Y/N), don't be so hard on them, they do what they can,” the redhead told you, leaning on the door.

You shook your head and closed your eyes, trying to stay calm.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, noticing how hard it was for you to move your muscles to fake a smile.

“You haven't come for lunch, I assumed you were busy,” she said bending down to give you a kiss. “Oh, I almost forgot, here.”

Marilyn reached into her pocket and offered you what looked like one of your favorite candy bars.

“Thank you Marilyn, you're always taking care of me…” You sighed, taking the appetizer and looking at it melancholy. The redhead bent down and she kissed you again, but this time she didn't pull away, she just stared at you, as if she was examining your expression.

“Honey, lately you've been a bit... Apathetic. Excuse me but I think something is wrong with you,” she told you, caressing your cheek.

Nothing went unnoticed by her. You shook your head, feeling a familiar ache in your throat and the sensation of blurry vision.

“N, no… I'm fine, Mari, just a little tired,” you said, praying that the tears weren't too evident in your eyes.

“Sweetie… If something happens to you, all you have to do is…”

“I'm fine, Marilyn, really. I'm sorry, but I'm kind of busy and…”

Your girlfriend's look turned sad, disappointed, but she nodded and walked out the door without saying a word.

You couldn't feel worse.

The rest of the day was boring. Marilyn came to see you a couple of times, and you to her, but barely speaking. You only looked into space with a lost look, noticing how the gray clouds in the sky were a faithful reflection of your feelings.

The next day…

That thunderous beeping again. That beep that brought you back to reality. The routine was slowly killing you.

When you opened your eyes you didn't even feel like complaining or saying a bad word. You just got out of bed, not letting Marilyn hold you. You walked towards the kitchen as if you were a zombie, an automaton condemned to do the same thing over and over again. You started the coffee maker and you stayed contemplating how the coffee was coming out.

“(Y/N), you woke up early…” A sleepy Marilyn said, walking towards you and hugging you from behind, kissing your shoulder like every day.

“I wanted to make coffee…” You said resignedly, taking two cups from the cupboard. “Do you want some?”

“Of course,” she told you happily, sitting on the stool.

You ate breakfast in silence. Marilyn seemed just as happy as ever, but you were staring at the mesmerized counter and its design marks.

“I've been thinking…” Marilyn said as she got dressed. You were sitting on the bed and you looked at her slowly, coming out of your dark world of sadness and desolation. We could go on vacation in two weeks. “You know... Just you and me, with no Nevermore, no students or exams.”

You nodded with a slight smile. You still had the towel wrapped around your body. Your clothes for that day were on top of a chair, but something prevented you from taking them. Maybe it was the weather.

“I have thought about Florida. Also, we can go to see alligators, I know you like them.”

You couldn't take it anymore. The tears that were forming in your eyes finally found their way down your cheeks. It was a lot of pressure kept for many days. At some point they had to get out.

Marilyn turned around and her face changed completely. She ran towards you and crouched looking at you concerned, grabbing your hand.

“My girl… If you don't like Florida we can go to another…”

“No, it's not that, Mari…” You sobbed, grabbing her hand tightly. “I lied to you, Marilyn.”

“What?” She asked scared.

“Yes, something is wrong with me, I just, I just don't know what it is...”

“My love... Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't know what to tell you... I don't know what's wrong with me...” You said broken into tears. Marilyn sat next to you on the bed and wiped away your tears.

“Try it, honey… I want to help you,” she told you softly. You shook your head and took a breath.

“I feel submerged in a gray and routine world. Everything is stressful. The classes, the exams. I feel as if I were in a hamster wheel, rolling over and over again,” you explained in the best way that your tears allowed.

“That's normal, honey, it happens to a lot of people…” She told you, holding your other hand.

“I Don't know. I don't feel like anything…” You kept crying, being unable to stop yourself.

“My poor girl…” She whispered, pulling you towards her. “Come here, let me give you some love...”

Gently, Marilyn cradled you in her arms. Your tears wouldn't stop coming, but it was comforting to let them go. You had been holding them back for a long time. You didn't know exactly what the reasons were, but little by little you began to feel better, feeling safe as she slowly cooed to you. The silence was broken by a soft hum.

“Mmmm, don't worry… about a thing…” She sang softly. Her voice was so soft that it made your heart beat faster. “Come on, you know the lyrics...”

“Cause…Every Little thing…Gonna be all right…” You sang with a broken voice…

You stayed that way for a moment, singing softly as you swayed.

It was hard to believe, but you felt much better. She was everything you could want. Sometimes you doubted that she was normi. She had the power to paint the grayest things in many colors, to make the sun rise in the cloudiest and stormiest sky.

“Marilyn…” You said, wiping away what was left of your tears.

“Hmm?”

“I would really like to go on vacation with you… Wherever you want…”

The redhead smiled and she kissed you on the lips, probably sensing the salty taste of your tears.

“I love you, (Y/N)…” “Me too Mari… Me too…”

[heybaetae]

i have no one to talk about it and you're always so open, so i'm just really getting this out of my chest, you don't need to answer if you don't want to

I'm so sad, i've been crying a lot every day since the announcement came. this was so unexpected (at least for me) and there was no time to emotionally prepare too... there were articles coming out before saying that all of them would have enlisted by december, but it was never confirmed by the members themselves, so i still had my doubts. then, out of nowhere, "hello, 4 members are enlisting at once"

they are working so much and you couldn't tell if this or that was gonna be released in 2024 or still this year. and then i thought "well, i have to prepare myself for the end of december", since there are usually between 40 or 50 days with them after the notice by bighit. if what kmedia said is true, they are leaving in less than two weeks

i feel broken and so empty, i'm so scared of my future, next year i'll go through so many changes and i never take changes easily, i always suffer so much untill i get used to something, and now... not having the only constant i've been used to have in my life..there is no time to process. it was different with jin because he was here for more than a month before he left, it was also obvious that yoongi was leaving after his tour and hobi... :/ i'm devasted

i'm gonna cry so much with this upcoming documentary, i thought that the ptd DVD would cheer me up, but i've just been feeling more weird and sad :( i laugh in the funny scenes, but there's this sadness behind it. and my bias is jungkook... his lives :( i've been asking myself if he would do a "goodbye live".. if he decides to do it, i really really really don't wanna lose it :( i already miss him so much and he's not even gone yet

i’m sorry hun. i think everyone is in the same boat emotionally about the shorter notice compared to the previous enlistments. i’m not really gonna acknowledge what is being spread around by the media rn because the same thing happened with jin and he wasn’t thrilled about that information being made public, but i’ll say it’s okay and valid to feel everything you’re feeling and to have hoped we’d have a little more time than what the reality seems to be.

i really hope next year goes smoothly for you and that you adjust as comfortably as you can to whatever your new normal is going to be in your personal life and your life alongside bts during their absence.

luckily, it‘s quite clear that they’ve each prepared things for us to release after they’re gone and while i value their safety and well-being so much more than having any content during this, it’s extremely generous of them. not only for three of those members to have seemingly held off on their enlistments until the youngest released his album and was done promoting it so they could all go at once, but for them all to have used that time to work on things to keep us entertained once they did. i don’t think it’ll feel like your constant will be completely gone, they’ve made sure of it. we’re so lucky they care about us enough to plan ahead, create new stuff to enjoy in the meantime, and to time it perfectly so they’re back on the literal day before their anniversary in 2025. you really don’t get sappier than that lol.

also on the topic of whatever content that comes out in the coming months/year (i’m sure they’ll spread it out), if you think it’ll make you too sad to watch, it’s not going anywhere and it’ll be ready for you whenever you need it. weverse posts and occasional instagram posts will be a thing. it will absolutely suck losing jungkook’s lives, but i know he’ll make the most of his social media time in other ways at every opportunity he gets and those moments of communication will feel all the more special.

feel all your feelings, let them out however you need. but remember that you’re not alone in your emotions too and you can reach out to any of us here at any time. if you need to log off on the actual day, definitely to. focus on you, do something fun, find something that’ll take your mind off of it. all of this is temporary and it’ll go by fast. we just have to take it day by day. 💜

[linabirb]

1, 2, 3, 5, and 18 for Dazai, Makima, Reo, Bachira and Yuno. :D Ooh, you're into Kakegurui too! :DD The same questions for Kirari and Yumeko.

hi aurora!! ty for asking! (sorry for a late reply, i was busy ><)

"Why do you like or dislike this character?"

dazai:

LITERALLY JUST THISCHJSJKSKSKD he's everywhere. every single time there's an anime guy with fluffy brown hair and brown eyes you just KNOW someone in the comments is gonna be like "omg he looks like dazai" no he doesn't.

also.. idk i just got tired of him. i did think he's funny when i first got into bsd (i was 13-14 so you didn't have to do much for me to think you're funny) but now everything about his behavior is so. ugh. it's like okay!! you're a walking red flag!! not in a fun way!!

i still think he's a well-written character though. just not my type.

makima: i can just say that i'm into dominant women honestly her design is so cool!! i have her plushie right next to me rn. she's staring into my soul. she's a really cool and well-written character and i don't know, there's just something about her that still makes you (me.) trust her even though you know she's the villain here. also i really love characters who do horrible, horrible things but they believe that there is no other way and they believe they're doing the right thing. something about her is also weirdly comforting to me but we're not gonna unpack that right now that moment in the manga when she said that denji can just rely on her and he doesn't have to do anything. that felt personal to me. also the fact that in the end she just needed a hug and needed someone to love her.. idk, it's probably cheesy, but i found it heartbreaking.

reo: HE'S JUST LIKE ME FR!!! it's pretty much impossible for me to talk about reo without oversharing stuff so i'm just gonna say that. well. i know what it's like to be a sheltered kid who doesn't even know what they want from life but when they finally start to realize what they probably want, they get hit with that "nah don't do that" and also his relationship with nagi is so... HHHHHHH been there. done that. know what it's like. i was literally going "BABY NO. NO DON'T DO THAT IT'S ONLY GONNA HURT YOU MORE" even though i do like this ship djdksks. anyway yeah his character is very realistic, it was so painful for me to read the part where nagi was like "nvm i need you actually" and he said that exactly when reo started to move on...

bachira: i actually didn't like him that much at first because i'm usually not a fan of characters who.. like. have this "weird and goofy" kind of personality, i just find them kinda exhausting, but bachira's character actually turned out to be much deeper than i expected and i find him very relatable as well. also most of the time he felt like the most normal character to me HSJSJKAKDK

yuno: SHE IS SO. *falls on the floor and starts sobbing* i'm not usually a fan of characters who are like.. very fun and cheerful on the outside, but they're actually suffering (and i have. so many ocs like that. ironic, isn't it) because most of the time it's either written kinda poorly, doesn't feel relatable, or the fandom just boils their character down to that one trait, but yuno's character felt very refreshing to me, because her t1 personality already felt kinda fake and even es mentioned that she doesn't have to pretend around them and when yuno really does stop pretending, like. it's so cool because at the same time she changed a lot, but you know that she actually hasn't changed at all and she's always been like that. there always were signs that yuno is actually colder (haha get it) than she acts so it isn't surprising for her to act this way in t2 and it doesn't feel too drastic. also her wanting to be seen as an adult and wanting people to stop coming up with sympathetic motives for her is so.. it's so good.

kirari: hmmm i actually don't really have a strong opinion about her! she's cool! but i like her design a lot! her hairstyle, her eyes, her iconic lipstick, she's so pretty!

yumeko: YUMEKO JABAMI THE WOMAN THAT YOU AREEEEE... the crush i had on this girl when i was younger was so. shsdjasksksk. i know i just said i don't really like "weird" characters but yumeko is so unhinged, it's so fun to watch! i really like kakegurui exactly because of how it just. lets women do wild things and be in the center of attention and all. i like how at the same time it's hinted that her character is much deeper than it seems, but also she just REALLY likes gambling!

"Favorite canon thing about this character?"

dazai: probably not really a "canon" thing but i think his bsd wan design is cute :3

makima: SHE'S SUCH A GOOD MANIPULATOR IT DRIVES ME INSANE /pos

reo: i'll just put this here.

bachira: HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOM IS SO. 🥹🥹🥹🥺🥺🥺🥺

yuno: her answers to the interrogation questions are always so funny like you just know the girl is gonna deliver. "can you speak other languages?" "i can't speak english!" <- written in english. "can you tell us about your family-" "I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE A FATHER"

kirari: that one scene with her and sayaka falling from that tower has changed me as a person forever

yumeko: she takes gambling so seriously, it's both cute and terrifying jdkdksks her relationship with midari is so funny 😭😭

"Least favorite canon thing about this character?"

dazai: his. uh. his personality in general jskslals SORRY IF HE WAS REAL I WOULD'VE PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE ALREADY

makima: hmm don't think i have one

reo: it's like. at the same time it's basically my fav canon thing but sometimes i'm like "dude. please let nagi go. i promise you're gonna be fine. he's gonna be fine. guys. guys please"

bachira: don't really have one! good for you king

yuno: m-maybe the abortion reveal was too early?.. it's like, at the same time it fits her character, but i really feel like it was a bit rushed. (well if it really is true and it doesn't turn out that her murder actually was different) also GIRL WHO SAYS "uhh yeah that's probably murder". PROBABLY???

kirari: at the same time i like her "way too powerful student council president" status, but sometimes it feels like. too extra for me jdkdlsls

yumeko: sometimes i forget that her main motivation is to play a game with kirari, but then i remember and kinda.. get disappointed.. like girl what about simply having fun and vibing. her character does NOT need a goal!! she's perfect WITHOUT any motivation!!

"What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?"

my brain goes empty when it comes to music I'M SORRYDJDKSDLDL

"How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?"

dazai: not really "admire", but i think his dynamic with atsushi is cute.

makima: .. i don't remember her interacting with anyone except denji and some other characters HSJSKSLSL

reo: .. again DOES HE EVEN HAVE ANY IMPORTANT DYNAMICS WITH OTHER CHARACTERS. NOT COUNTING NAGI.

bachira: his relationship with nagi and isagi is neat :)

yuno: her relationship with kazui.. much to think about..

kirari: her relationship with sayaka! i don't ship them but i think their dynamic is really interesting.

yumeko: i'm going to say something controversial but. i think her dynamic with suzui is actually kinda cute?? again i don't ship them but it's. it's wholesome :)

[lightlycareless]

CHAPTER 31 WAS SO,,, DELICIOUS,,

they're on a date! the worst date in the world, but its a date! good(?) for them?

naoya in the parking garage trying to flirt and failing so so miserably is so... truly incredible. in any other scenario it really would've been sweet and fairly good flirting but with the full context its so. he's really oblivious here.

THE CROSSWALK?? HELLO?? HE'S JUST NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING?? like firstly y/n go OFF thats RIGHT fucking GET HIS ASS "don't fucking touch me" is completely appropriate-- but then also he just. he doesn't say anything. i was fully expecting it to come up again but he just doesn't??? can he just not process that without his entire psyche crumbling down around him or is he gonna bring that one up again later

the poor waitress. she deserved a 500% tip for dealing with them. poor lady. once again i understand why naoya is worried-- yeah, she hasn't eaten like all day! she probably looks pale and shaky as hell (this is because of you, naoya, but he wouldn't know that). totally understandable to try to insist she eats something- but there's just no way that him trying to force her to do anything is going to help at all.

also.. the zenin's would cancel his credit card/access to the bank account if he did something wrong? fucked up and pretty indicative he's on thin ice here too even though he's (undeniably) doing better than y/n. i'd imagine that's not helping put him in a good headspace for self-reflection if he knows straying too far from what his family approves of could mean losing a lot of personal freedoms (including the ability to even leave the estate, recalling what he said about replacing the car in chapter 29...)

THE LITTLE GIRL W THE BUTTERFLIES WAS SO CUTE,,, and then naoya has to swing in like "i think you're pretty too 🥺" and give her a whole traumatic flashback like. man. just be quiet. you could salvage so many of these situations by just being quiet.

and they FINALLY,, had a CONVERSATION,,, even if it was something mundane like the records!! they talked to each other without snapping or insulting or being sexist!!! we're winning so hard rn-- and is she about to drop backstory for him too?? and about the parents?? now thats a BIG step i'm so excited for them (<- is about to get emotionally devastated by the next chapter)

another beautiful chapter of my favorite horribly misfunctional couple <3 thank you for the wonderful writing and i hope you have fun on your break!!

HELLO!!! I’m so happy you enjoyed the meal 😈

I love hyping the fact that they’re on a date, and yet, it couldn’t be any further from the truth 😂 It’s like a car crash you just can’t stop looking at ahahahah

I think it’s pretty obvious by this point that Naoya does not know how to socialize without looking completely creepy/frightening. And I can’t blame him, he’s either venerated as a god, or completely dismissed and berated 💀 STILL FIXABLE AMIRITE?

The crosswalk scene… I can literally hear Y/N’s voice and the way it broke… I feel bad for her damn why am I making all characters suffer?? Who is the one character that is happy??? No one. That’s who lol not even Haruko who is like the most cheerful of them all is happy all the time. 😭

And he did bring it up in a way 🤭, with the stupid question of “Do you speak to Naoaki like that?” omg please Naoya… take that man out from your mind hahaha it seems like you’re in love with him I s2g 😭😂 but as I said, Naoya doesn’t it have in himself to do anything like that anymore, as much as he wants to yell and whatnot, he knows very well that if he does that thing he’ll just push her away—definitely. And in a way, I want him to do that, leave Y/N alone!! (yes, even if she has to eat, leave her!! She’s not going to eat with you PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

Also, for the credit card… I just thought it would make sense hahaha for a family as rich as theirs, I just felt like that’s the next thing they would do 🤔 I don’t recall stating Naoya to be some kind of big spender (He might be... let's be real), but I do think that the Zen’in have spent a lot of money on their wedding and all the formalities that followed suit, so for them to consistently bring problems… well, I’m sure Naobito has thought many times to just leave his son without anything to really teach him a lesson—but stopped because he doesn’t want to deal with his whiny son any more than necessary lol, but Naoya doesn’t know that 👀 so he’s out there living in the suspense of having to be careful with his actions, less he wants to lose more. Gee… HOW DOES THAT FEEL NAOYA? HMMM???

I LOVED THE LITTLE GIRL, I was so happy that happened lol I think Y/N answered to her because she reminded her of Mai and Maki 🤭 which Naoya had to obviously ruin by his unrequited comment lmao. Even if he meant it like something genuine, why… couldn’t he see how painful that memory was for her? Omg is she even his wife???????? You’re right, he could do so much better if he just kept quiet 😭

Their conversation is something else that I was looking forward too :> and while it’s from something a bit… well, different from the elephant of the room, I share your sentiment by saying it was refreshing to see them interact with one another like actual human beings… I want them to be together, HAPPY I MEAN. Oh well… if that won’t happen, we have Naoaki lol

As for the backstory, yes, she’ll also share it with him :> Although I intended it to be a combination of a “reader exclusive” + “what’s she’s willing to share with Naoya” kind of perspective, if that makes sense, I’ll try my best to define it so while writing the next chapter 🤭. And even if this isn’t as emotionally impactful, I think the ending will have you a bit like “oof, that’s rough buddy” HHAHHAHAH

Thank you so much for your support and kind words 🥺❤ I’m so happy you’re liking the shenanigans between the couple of the moment lol (dysfunctional is like an understatement for them tbh they're beyond that 😂😂😂😂😂) and it kind of pains me to have to leave, but gotta do what I gotta do… haha

I’ll do my best to have fun :>!! Which I doubt I won’t have, I’m super excited!!!

Once again, thank you so much for your continuous support 😭❤❤❤❤ Can’t wait for you to read the next chapters!! (Specifically that one…. Jkahgakskjgv) Have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!!

[wave2tyun]

adsfasdf just one pc now actually!!! one of the weverse ones (for some reason they were so much harder to find than the other ones??) nd yeah!! cb is ... right around the corner im not ready...😿😿😿 and ssdfsd I LOVE THE RAIN WHAAT i wish it rained more here!! funny enough after i sent that my last mssg it got super cold again ... >_< it was 86f the other day and then the next it went down to 50f!!! (im suffering) how cold/hot has it been for u??

im sorry ur feeling so overwhelmed!!! I had to drop two of my uni classes bc i had so many assignments due each and every day it was so overwhelming;; auuugh im so upset but it was getting so bad! hopefully u can push through this week!! im cheering for u!! u can do it we stay thuggin it out 🗣️🗣️🗣️ lock in alex!!! i believe in u!!! sending u lots of love and ur favorite foods! -🐰

OMG JUST ONE PC????????? LET'S GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! :DDD hopefully the last soob will come just in time before the comeback😼💞 and hmmm weverse album versions don't have any other inclusions besides pcs so maybe people don't buy those as much :0

AHHHHHHH TRUST ME I LOVE THE RAIN TOO!!!!!😔😔 but not when it goes on for this long......<///3 sometimes the rain here is too aggresive and it's annoying cause i have to walk a lot:( i wear glasses and a lot of times i end up not seeing anything because of all the droplets that get on them ajdbdjsb and the grey sky has been sucking all the energy and motivation out of me:( whenever it has been slightly sunny this week it was all gone after like...2 hours.....i need a FULL sunny day PLEASE!!!!!😞

86f sounds insane to me rn omg i don't think it's ever been this warm here since september??😳 also that's such a sudden difference??????? :0 make sure you dress warmly, cause those changes can easily make you catch a cold >:( for me it's also been around 50f, sometimes lower in the morning!! and it feels even colder because of the wind����😖

i know that it's hard not to do it but please don't feel too bad about it, it was the right call :(((( it's good that you listened to your body and mind and took the opportunity to drop some classes. never wait until you've pushed yourself way past your limit, cause that would most likely end up doing way more worse than good :(

i did manage to push through this week!!!! i don't know how, but i did it!!!!!😭😭😭😭 i was barely able to do anything today, i really needed to just rest after all that stress

AND YES WE ARE!!!!!!🗣️🗣️🗣️ we can do it!!!!! i'm sending even more love your way!!!!😼😼💞 also, since march has just started, i hope you'll have a great spring my lovely!!!🫂🫂🩷🩷

[dalishthunder]

Um uh *screams*

Ti's me again, smile anon. Took long bc lord has this week been relentless but you're still keeping us well fed w all the rama content and i am coming to scream about it as promised (so to anyone else reading this ask There Will Be Spoilers)

First of all I love the quotes you're leaving at the start of chapters, they really set the tone! The fic overall is v introspective and I'm deeply enjoying the discussions on morality. Both ramattra and reader gave it a lot of thought, and I like that he's getting a chance to discuss his ideals w somebody who'd listen and actually mull it over. Somebody's already mentioned this, but you include his voice lines seamlessly and get his speech patterns on point!

And holy shit that last line. "At what point did throwing a molotov cocktail become self defense?" That's the perfect way to end the chapter with how it's been going. And I love that there isn't an answer right now. Those children (and other innocent people) were put in danger as a direct result of the attack, even if unintentionally. But also reader and the child they were saving got put in danger by a stray bullet (again, not intentional) from overwatch who are supposed to be saving them. So what's the answer here? "I'm still not sure. But I do know there are some lines that I won’t cross, Ramattra." Gah I love the characterization of this reader so much. They play off each other well and I can't wait to see what conclusion they'd reach (both of them). Went over both snippets and I will whoop and cheer once the next chapter is release

Also I noticed how he asked how they view him again 👀 and yes he's using it as a shooting off point to get his idea across but methinks he deeply cares about the answer. And it hurts that his 'friend' status is on shaky grounds rn but they still care for each other and that's what matters

Overall, I adore how you characterize him. On the surface he appears cold and distant, because he's had no choice but to be, but then when given the chance he's so thoughtful and he cares. He cares deeply about the people in his circle and about his cause, about other omnics that he's resigned himself to suffering forever if it means getting there.

I am aro-spec and rarely find myself catching feelings but you have me officially down on my knees I just wanna hold him and kiss him and give him a damn break for once, he deserves all the TLC in the world </3

Ahem hope i didn't embarrass myself too much ily thanks for the 👌💯💥 good content

Smile anon I need you to know that I've read this like 50 times and it fills me with such joy each time!

I think Ramattra just... has a lot of grief that he can't really process because he's never been given the proper space to which just exacerbates his anger. And while these things are absolutely something he is not just valid, but *justified* in experiencing, they are leading him to make questionable decisions that seem to conflict with his own moral code, so like... more of that to come

And yes! I love writing something that's serious, and not in a horror way, for once. It's a nice change of pace to discuss morality and just how subjective it can be, and much like my first fic from my years long hiatus, I think it's going to become much more of a long-form fic than something short and sweet because both of these characters have so much to say

Also! He very much uses "Tell me, what do you see when you look at me?" as a way to challenge any assumptions reader may have made about him, but it's also 100% a way to gauge how they feel about him because he really does care.

And I'm having so much fun writing this, and I'm so glad people are enjoying it so much!!!!

These aren't embarrasing I love your asks so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺

[introspectionofaqueer]

one step at a time

Things are still feeling strange to me lately but I'm super proud of the progress I've made

I've implemented a lot more routine into my daily life which has really helped to structure my life and make things feel more manageable. My night time routine is down pretty good, I'll brush my teeth, floss, mouthwash, then wash my face And moisturize and clean my piercings. Then it's climb into bed time for 10 min night meditation and then reading until I get sleepy.

Morning routine, however, is still a work in progress. I'd like to implement some sort of daily task in the morning just to keep on top of things. Currently it's just brushing my teeth if I remember to. I also want to incorporate putting on my spf moisturizer in the mornings so I don't suffer from sun damage, I am gettin older. Maybe scooping the litter boxes every morning? I should also be making myself eat breakfast. I somehow still keep losing weight even though I'm working out. Perhaps because I've started doing cardio work as well. But my lungs and heart really need it.

I hate my job but until I find something that can match it I'm stuck there. I'll never find a job that pays 20 per hr with benefits and no commute, plus works perfectly with the days I need off for my personal activities. And I can't afford to lose my health insurance bc I'd lose my medication.

Looked thru some therapists who accept my insurance today w no luck. None of them are accepting new patients. But on we press, continuing to take my anti depressants. I think although I'm not going through any major life crises rn everyone could benefit from therapy. And I definitely still have old traumas to work through, even if they're not presenting any issues currently. I am pretty pleased with my progress on my own though, I feel like I've really turned things around for myself. I got myself on medication for my depression and my RA, and I've been engaging in a lot more social activities. Putting myself out there in the world. Even if I gotta do it alone. Experiences are why we're here right? And I've really gotten stronger boundaries on what I deserve from the relationships in my life and even if it's hard I've honored that and let several people go.

Anyway life's been crazy and exciting and strange and I can't wait to see where it goes from here. Cheers to growth and learning as we go

[spidernerdsblog]

Yo, it's 'that time of the month' for me right now and I seriously hate life rn.... I could do with some headcanons of how mob Tom Holland would react to the reader not acting like some deranged she hulk but rather she's just calm and internally wishing to set the world on fire?

ah hang in there girl you'll get through it. i'm just grateful i never got cramps thanks to whatever cramp preventing gene i inherited from my mom lol.

Auntie flo

Pairing : Mob! Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings : none

It was quite early in the morning as you felt a sharp sting of pain shoot down your abdomen. You rolled over on your bed groaning and it didn't take much time for you to realize that your auntie flo has come to pay you her monthly visit. You sit up letting out a huff to find Tom’s side of the bed empty who's most probably out for his morning run. Removing the covers you got off the bed and headed to the bathroom. You took out the box of tampons from the cabinet when you felt another cramp.

“Fuck” you muttered clutching at your abdomen already getting the hint of how shitty the week is going to be for you being constantly hungry, bloated accompanied with frequent mood swings.

Your sleep was ruined anyway so you made your way down to the kitchen. Taking out the jar of nutella you grabbed a spoon and scooped out a large portion as you ate in peace. Tom returned after sometime and was surprised to see you awake as you aren’t much of a morning person.

“You're up early today, everything ok?” he asked.

“Yeah, yeah I'm fine don't worry” you tried to sound cheerful. You and Tom have been together for six months now but still you felt a little uncomfortable with talking about it openly to him. Tom didn’t ask anything further as he went to take a shower.

Despite feeling exhausted you dragged yourself to the office for the scheduled meeting after all you were Tom’s P.A too. You sat on your chair silently listening to the client going on and on to negotiate a deal by putting forward some stupid arguments which just started giving you a headache. Your irritation rising with every passing moment.

Tom also found you to be oddly silent today because usually you're quick to come forth with counter arguments. When something struck his mind as he pulled out his phone and checked the calendar. Yep it was that time of the month for you and by the look on your face he could totally make out that you��re in the mood of choking the life out of everyone in the room. Even though you don’t really talk to him about it, within these six months he has figured out how even the littlest of things annoyed you during this time and still you’ll choose to suffer in silence.

“Darling, why don’t you take the day off today?” his voice broke you out of your zone.

“What about the meeting? You asked with a frown.

“I can handle this, don't worry, go and take some rest” he said softly. You didn’t argue much and slowly went back to your room. Slipping into your comfy pjs and throwing your hair into a messy bun you plopped on your bed with a heating pad placed on your lower belly.

After getting done with the meeting Tom went straight to your shared bedroom to check up on you and finds you tucked under the covers as he goes around the bed and sits near the headboard.

“Hey, how is my princess doing?” he knelt down to kiss your forehead gently.

“Surviving” you mumbled sitting up.

“It’s ok love. See I brought you your favorite ice cream” he brought out the ice cream he was hiding behind his back. You eagerly took it from him as he handed you a spoon. You immediately delved in already starting to feel a lot better.

“How did you know?” you asked while licking your spoon clean.

“Well I know you don’t like to talk about it so I just downloaded the app and synced it with yours” he said bashfully.

“Aww Tom that’s so sweet of you and I’m sorry I just don’t want to bother you with these petty issues of mine” you said as Tom reached out his hands to cup your face lovingly.

“Hey you’re the most important person in my life, you can never bother me” his warm brown eyes gazing into yours “Also I’ve ordered from your favorite restaurant so we can stay all day in bed and cuddle watching your favorite movies. How does the idea sound?”

“I love it Tom! You’re the best boyfriend ever!” you squealed pulling him to you to capture his lips softly.

[michelemoutons]

and at last, the post that maybe three people maximum have been waiting for...

em's comfort retro rally videos: a masterlist!

in a much-needed return to this blog's roots, and as an antidote to all motorsport- and life-related chaos, i now present to you: the first edition of em's favorite retro rally videos!

general disclaimer/info: these videos mainly come from the group B era of the world rally championship (wrc), which generally speaking was in the '80s. i am only human, so expect a lot of bias toward my personal favorites...which will become very apparent as you read this list hehe. also i'm not even gonna pretend to be an expert on this or anything. a lot of these are literally just based on Vibes

table of contents

i. my top 5 rally coverage videos

mainly coverage for television, recorded on VHS and uploaded to YouTube by some truly incredible people

ii. honorable mentions

not rally coverage, but retro rally videos nevertheless

often documentaries, mini-doc features, interviews

for all videos, i have indicated the language (most are in english fyi); if any links fail or videos disappear, send me an ask or DM and i'll remove the culprit/find an alternative link.

and now, onward!

(TW for occasional flash photography in many of the night sequences of the videos, as well as a gif included in this post)

i. my top 5 rally coverage videos

in which my bias toward audi sport, mouton/pons, mikkola, toivonen, and vatanen are put on blast for all to see 🥴 i am not an expert in anything i am just very good at research and a whore for aud—[SNIPED]. for the sake of brevity, i narrowed my favorites down to 5. maybe another time i will share all the rest!

also, a general note about the commentary: sometimes, the commentary around michèle and fabrizia can get... weird. keep in mind, they were the most prominent female team partnership around that time, and the first to nearly clinch a wrc wdc, and to modern ears, the commentators really didn't know how to act around them. personally, it wasn't horrible for me, i just ignored the weirder bits, but i understand if others might find it off-putting. also for the sake of your sanity don't read the comments.

5. Rally of the 1000 Lakes, 1984 | finland

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: vatanen/alén/toivonen (full final results)

comments: this was definitely a rally for most of audi sport's drivers to forget: bar stig blomqvist, who came quite close to the podium finishers with a 4:14:01 to henri toivonen's 4:12:57! both hannu mikkola and michèle mouton had to retire from the race, which may lead you to wonder: why does this rank among my favorites? well, it's always fun to watch group b rally cars sailing through the air against picturesque scenery, and this video also contains an intriguing (at least for me!) look at the scrutineering process, with drivers at their most casual.

owie :( they were fine though!

4. Lombard RAC Rally, 1981 | britain

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: mikkola/vatanen/blomqvist (full final results)

comments: hannu winning by 11 whole minutes even after rolling his car in the middle of the forest is actual legend behavior! anyway this was michèle's first wrc outing in britain, and even though she and fabrizia had to retire, they still did quite well, consistently running high in the leaderboards after the first few stages. and that's considering the fact that michèle had a bad cold for much of the rally and had to ask fabrizia to drive the car to service park for her at one point bc she was so tired. which fabrizia did... with a pencil in her mouth. lot of big names in one video—also, jean todt makes an appearance as a co-driver!

shamelessly poached off of one of my text post edits

3. Marlboro Safari Rally, 1983 | kenya

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: vatanen/mikkola/mouton (full final results)

comments: ok can i just say how stunning the video presentation is?? the opening sequence is just!!! the shots of the wildlife! the sprinting giraffes! wow! anyway the visual of drivers in deck chairs just tickles me for no reason, and michèle please tell me what you ask for at the hairdresser's and also where you got that orange blouse (this is obviously not just specific to this rally, she always eats and leaves no crumbs). this was michèle's first entry and only finish in kenya (and of course it was a podium mwah). it was also her last wrc entry in the A1 quattro, as she switched to the A2 for the rest of her program in the '83 season. also this is one of my favorite podium pictures ever.

lksdjffnnkd there's almost too much to unpack... fabrizia somehow surviving in high waist jeans in a hot car... michèle's do-it-yourself shorts... this podium picture was the subject of a very frantic video chat conversation between myself and a friend at 2am a few months ago

2. Rallye de Portugal, 1982 | portugal

links: short recap (eng) | overall coverage 1, stuck in the middle of two other rallies. timestamps in descrip. (eng) | overall coverage 2, very vibey with cool music (ita... also peep walter röhrl speaking italian)

podium: mouton/eklund/wittmann (full final results)

comments: GOD I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH AAAA! michèle's first podium of '82 being a win? this rally being the one where there's footage of her going shopping with fabrizia afterward? (more on that later) them winning by 13 whole minutes? and that's not even considering THEE most poetic victory ceremony of all time! in fact let me talk about that bc the racing and the win aside, that's why it's so high up on my list! literally poetic cinema! it's night, they're standing on top of the car and floodlit and surrounded by cheering crowds but they may as well be the only ones there in their own little world, laughing at each other and barely even having to look to each other when they're raising their hands—like god! shut up! we get it you're besties 😭

i_just_think_theyre_neat.png

and now... last but certainly never least...

1. Lombard RAC Rally, 1982 | britain

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: mikkola/mouton/toivonen (full final results)

comments: firstly, if you were to ask me about my dream podium, this would be it. hands down, across all series of motorsport, my comfort podium would be hannu, michèle, and henri in any order. (there's such a cute picture of them from this rally on pinterest, standing in order on a staircase. henri is not looking at the camera because he is laughing at something michèle is saying and it's such a Vibe but i cannot find it wah). the battle for second between michèle and henri ran down to literally the last stage, and their times are separated by seconds, which is just wild to me. the context of this rally deserves another post, which i honestly don’t have the energy to make rn, but just take my word for it that it threatens to destroy me if i think about it too hard! anyway this is just such an awesome rally and i’ve watched this video so many times haha

i love this rally so much that i actually had a character in a story i was writing attend the ceremony captured in this picture as a small child and made it a formative moment in her life. no, there is nothing wrong with me.

ii. honorable mentions

(is it obvious who my faves are? yikes)

'Group B - Avec Michele Mouton' (eng) - taken from a longer feature presentation about group b, a segment specifically about michèle. a friend once described its vibes as ‘a synth wave edit of an 80s anime set in a cyberpunk world about racing’

'1983 Audi Sport National Rally with Michele Mouton' (eng) - in which michèle takes journalist sue baker as a co-driver for a spin in an A1 and a rally win. fun behind-the-scenes video

'Intervista a Fabrizia Pons, la Regina delle Note' 1, 2, 3 (ita) - very thorough interview which is mostly fabrizia telling all sorts of stories, including the very entertaining story of how she found out she was going to be michèle’s co-driver. also what a badass title

'2008 Otago International Classic Rally' (eng) - THE BESTIES REUNITE THE BESTIES REUNITE!!! michèle and fabrizia reunite for a rally that fabrizia convinced michèle to join, they suffer some problems but there are plenty of wholesome bestie moments to be had

'Michele Mouton hurls Group B Audi Quattro up Goodwood hill' (eng) - i mean, self explanatory. the sound of the chirping tires? asmr could never. very short watch if you want a quick pick-me-up

'1990 Louise Aitken-Walker feature' (eng) - a video featuring a female rally driver from scotland and her point-scoring run at the rallye monte -carlo. i am convinced that louise was john finnemore’s inspiration or at least an influence for the character of linda fairbairn. no my hat is not made of tin foil what are you talking about

hannu rocketing around michigan back in 2017 (eng)

hannu flying around goodwood in 2015 (eng)

sometimes i listen to fabrizia's recent onboards (yes, she's still at it!) and this one is one of my favorites, from 2016 (ita)

[macaronnya]

Fresh(?) Impressions (1)

Other parts: |Trickstar| |UNDEAD| |2wink| |Ra*bits| |Akatsuki| |fine| |Ryuseitai| |Knights| |Valkyrie| |Switch| |MaM/Double Face/Crazy:B| |Eden| |Alkaloid|

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Hello Enstarries~☆ I'm a newbie and wanted to share my kinda-first impressions of our maybe beloved idols bc the fandom (on tumblr) seems pretty 🤏 and so this might....idk serve as another entertaining post or smth. A viewpoint from a newcomer. I'll do each unit per post bc holy moly are there many and we'll start with Trickstar here. For a little structure, I'll begin with an overall impression (vibe, songs etc.) and then continue with indivdual members (appearance, personality etc.).

|Next| <- I'll put the next post here, when I'm done (assuming I'm dedicated and committed enough to really do everyone) See above ⬆️

Before we start, you may wonder why it's a fresh? and kinda-first impression. Well, I've been listening to their songs for about 2 years (Eden & Crazy:B fan here) and so know a bit about them (mainly their banger songs), be it through memes, iceberg explanation, memes and wiki pages. But I only really got into it since the global release. So even if I have all these random out-of-context info, I still basically know nothing. I only read their Episode 1 in the game for this bc want to start with the ! era first before jumping into !!. Now, one last thing...

DISCLAIMER!: Everything said here is for entertainment purposes only and not meant to attack anyone. This is not an accurate description of any characters but my subjective rambling for fun, so please don't take it too seriously. (Just to be safe, I'm kinda scared of elite idol fans) Also, you will hear me mention other games a bunch of times bc I'm that bad and uncreative at explaining and I'm still grieving A3!EN's shutdown. Eng is my 2nd (or 3rd?) language and it's 4am, do with that what you want.

Without further ado....Let's Ensemble!☆

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Typical first unit in idol games. Cheerful, innocent, ambitious and leading a revolution.....? That took me off at first, but, uh, good for them. Ngl their songs are boring. They remind me of Love Live's earliest songs and general idol songs. Pop, cheerful and encouraging messages, it's not bad. I just wouldn't listen to it if could. I do appreciate their preppier approach to the standard military inspired idol uniforms, though. Oh, the VA line-up is also 👁👁, like, damn.

5/10 - average, I don't have a strong opinion of them

Hokuto Hidaka

I love his voice. Tomoaki Maeno's voice is just melting butter~🧈 At first, I thought he'd be the boring, serious, smart blue coded character out of the red-blue duo but I learnt my lesson with Deuce (Twisted Wonderland). He's earnest, honest, responsible and doesn't suffer from trauma with his famous parents, which is pretty good and possibly rare. I haven't heard a lot from him. He actually looks boring🧍‍♂️but this card is really pretty for some reason?? Apparently comes off as cold often as well, which is very relatable 😓

5.5/10 - average guy (the irony)

Subaru Akehoshi

The 6th redhead, who's the poster character for their game. He looks like the standard first boy you meet and help to achive whatever the goal of the game and his dream is as his manager/producer/director/master/etc idk. Cheerful, naive, energetic. I don't really expect a lot from him but Sakuya (A3!), another redhead poster boy, became my most beloved baby sunshine 🥰, so...I'll just wait and see. His smile is pretty cute. And he likes money and sparkling things??? Random but not a bad thing.

6/10 - average but positive, slightly adorable

Makoto Yuuki

Funky guy with glasses 👓 The only other character I reacall rn with colored rims is 707 (Mystic messenger). I haven't seen a lot of blondes with glasses, I think. He's kinda cute. If you haven't noticed yet, glasses are a tiny soft spot of mine. He seems to be the token clumsy dumdum but is self-aware and a bit self-conscious of that. His chibi has :3!!! A worried one even. Also, one of the grey haired ones or so is a really big fan or so of him and chases him? My condolences 😔

6/10 - still a bit boring but glasses and :3, he's trying his best

Mao Isara

Initially, when I first listened to their songs, I thought Subaru's VA was his. It just seemed to fit better. He looks like a chatterbox and a social butterfly. Trendy and always up to date online. Maybe it's due to Cater (Twisted Wonderland), who looks similiar. But he's the student council president??? Looks truly decieve. I like his enthusiasm to have a just and actual working school. Well, he's still pretty friendly and so it seems.

6/10 - big role he carries but he's got the spirit, also cute

Honorary mention:

Anzu

Our dear MC, who has a lot of fans as well despite: 1. being a self-insert, 2. not having any real lines?, and 3. being a girl in a joseimuke game. Through A3!'s Izumi Tachibana, I learnt just how amazing self-insert MCs could be if they weren't self-inserts and had actual personality. I'm looking a bit forward to seeing more of her but I'll stay cautiously optimistic. Girl failed a revolution at her old school and attempts the next one right after her transfer, what an unyielding will. A bit miffed, that everyone seems to have a good relationship with her but is forced to stay ~professional~. Like, what is the use of names if you don't use them?! Let them call her Anzu or so >:( She also overworks quite often? You're not even 20....pls REST!

8/10 - I trust in my fellow Enstarries, maybe there will come a day when she gets her own card (perhaps as an anniversary gift?) (I really wanted one for Izumi (A3!), April fools has every side character except her. The audacity?!)

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Conclusion

It's a bit weird how everyones' individual impression scores higher than the overall one. I suppose, it's like how mixing everything you like won't necessarily make an even better thing.

Now, if you reached the end, first off, congratulations! 🎊🎉 Idk if it's bc I was actually entertaining or bc you're that determined but thanks~♡ As you can see, I write a lot. I don't mean to do that but I always just somehow end up writing way too much bc I want to deliver my thoughts precisely. It's nearing 6am rn and I accidentally deleted my first draft. If there are any grammatical errors or so...have mercy. Feel free to comment whatever. It would give me more motivation to continue, though ofc I want to do everyone anyways. Just keep in mind, it's all just for fun and games and we're all here for a good time.

See you in my next impression post! (Hopefully)