#also i'm like. so out of the loop on current events of the show these days i have so much catching up to do lol

[saintlesbian]

on it boss o7

[catboybiologist]

So. This has lived on my hard drive for over a year and a half now, and in my head for much longer than that. I have the entire plot mapped out in my mind, and it's not *too* long. But it's gonna require a lot of careful writing that I think is beyond my ability, and definitely beyond my current available free time level. Maybe when I advance to candidacy, or maybe this is the story I use a portable backpacking writing setup for.

Either way. It's very deliberately allegorical, and taps into a few sci fi cliche "twists" that you're supposed to kinda figure out early on, but are used for bigger themes later.

As I said. Probably beyond my ability.

But here's how I kicked it off a while back. It has a similar "flow" to the intro of biologics, where it cuts between expository introspection and the actual events happening. Idk if that's weird, but it's what made sense to me.

Also I hate the working title I gave it, but I can't think of it as anything else now.

Symphony of the Stars

The bar I found myself in wasn't much different than millions of others like it. A couple cheap liquors that could be found anywhere, maybe a halfway decent local beer or two, and some tacky tourist paraphernalia hang haphazardly on the walls. Absentmindedly, I swirled my drink. My eyes slowly drifted through the panel windows behind the bar, and onto the orange gas giant visible through it.

That was one thing that made me partial to this little backwater- that damn view. Sure, the closer moons might advertise themselves on their intimate little peeks at the red spot, or the faintest glimpse of Jupiter's barely visible rings, but the people there... Not that I minded the workers, I'm a mechanic of sorts myself- but the miners, water pumpers, and atmospheric skimmers of Jupiter's inner moons were a particular brand of insufferable. Thinking that a couple years managing equipment in the Hellas basin made them the most rugged people on the planet, and then shipped themselves out to the furthest flung inhabited spot in the damn solar system. Joke's on them- most of them don't survive 10 years out here. The ones that make it are a different story, I'll give you that. A certain breed of person actually has what it takes to make it out here, and those people have earned some respect.

But I digress.

Callisto was a remote place, damn far from the sprawling metropolises of Mars or the more cushy mining jobs in the belt. Up until recently, it had been my own little sleepy backwater that I had used to escape my extended hours fixing ships for the harvesters on the other moons.

That was before jumping.

Callisto boasted a small engineering and research center near the south pole, most famous for getting artificial gravity fields working nearly three centuries ago. That bit of notoriety let someone set up a particle accelerator that looped the whole damn moon on its equator. Forty eight years ago, a researcher hit the right island of stability when making ultra-heavy elements, and something just... came together. The exact right amount of mass was focused in the exact right amount of space to dent space time in a perfect little way. A few measurements later, they realized that they had created the smallest documented black hole.

My eyes again wandered to the space in between us and Jupiter. That was the other reason I came to this bar so often. It was also the only place around where you could watch the show.

After a few times generating and collapsing this infant of a black hole, some idiot of a scientist decided that they just had to throw something into it. It wasn't much of anything, just a probe that blasted a repeating live image from its camera in all directions. And hopefully, if it survived in any identifiable form, someone would pick up on it.

Well, someone did. A little over four years later, we got a picture of a star. Real helpful- there's only a couple septillion of those out there, right? But what mattered was the timing, and the direction. The star was eventually identified as Proxima Centauri. The moment the image from the probe had been received, the receiver was exactly 4.2465433 light years away from Proxima. And the image was received exactly 4.2465433 years after the probe was thrown into the hole. Meaning that the probe was at Proxima, exactly 4.2465433 years before the image was received. And it was thrown into the hole, on Callisto.... also exactly 4.2465433 years before the image was received. One moment, Callisto. One moment, Proxima Centauri. In some unit of time that was smaller than our ability to measure, it had traveled to the next star system. It was the textbook definition of a wormhole.

And with that discovery, well....

Jupiter's red spot quivered ever so slightly. They were right on schedule, it seemed. Just need to gain a bit of mass in the accelerator, get the magnetic railgun to throw it all into the space above it....

Like fluid down a drain, the image of Jupiter swirled as a dark spot appeared in front of it. Slowly, it grew, twisting the orange and red tones of the gas giant in mosaic patterns, until the black orb stopped, hovering in the emptiness.

After the initial wormhole generation all those years ago, it was found that by nudging the mass to be a little less, or a little more, or nudging to position of the superheavy object that created it, you could target distant parts of the universe. Soon, small spacecraft were being sent to distant stars. The scientists started it, of course. Shortly afterwards, the Callisto government began lobbying to make our little outpost the first official launch point for interstellar settlement.

That was forty years ago. And at this point, the five established settlements were fairly self sufficient- they just needed occasional contact and resupplies. Every week, a wormhole would be opened to one of the colonies. And every week, a freighter would be there to make the jump through, grab what supplies it needed, leave behind a new list of requests, and then disappear again until their specific colony was contacted again in another five weeks. And every week, I would be in this same bar to watch the fireworks.

My eyes narrowed as the perfect black circle reached its stable state. I watched these things every damn week. Part of me wants to say "blink and you'll miss it", but the truth is, at this point in the process, there's nothing to miss.

One moment, a featureless orb. The next moment, a deep space freighter. No flash. No gradual fade. No coming out of a tunnel. The hole was large enough for the entire mass of the ship to fit through at once, and the jump was seamless.

And to tell the truth... I didn't like it.

Humanity had reached and settled the furthest reaches of space, because of a magic substance that broke physics, stumbled upon by accident, in a random lab, by a some guy who was just trying to whip up a new element.

It was perfect. It was too perfect. And it bothered me.

And well, that's why I was here. I'd been visiting Callisto for years, and the pressure to make jumping more and more accessible to small spacecraft was insane. Pretty soon, everyone trying to engineer or maintain any kind of ship would need to have half of a quantum physics degree, and I wanted to be ahead of the curve. So when the launch point was made official, and they called for mechanics to service the ships that made the jumps to the colonies and back, I lept at the opportunity.

But the push was always for more applications, with little thought to the physics. More jumps, more colonies, more resupplies, more energy efficiency to increase the frequency at which it could be used. Some people were interested in the mechanics of the phenomena to exploit it further, sure, but most seemed to stonewall when you questioned too far. How the hell had this been missed? Why is everyone pushing for applications, and no one freaking out over how much this broke our understanding of the universe? Is it possible to measure the unit of time that the jump occurred in? Was it below detection limits? If it was, what did that mean?

And so, here I was. Sipping some herbal thing, staring at Jupiter, and thinking a little too hard about reality.

Eh, at least I could fix that last part.

"'scuse me bartender?" I asked. "Can I get another one of these, with an extra shot in it?"

He silently nodded, and poured me the synthetic gin mixed with... well, I didn't question it much. Anything to help keep these ideas in check.

The carbon fiber fingertips of my left hand gripped the glass with their usual calculated precision, while the skin of my right idly tapped the bar. I sighed.

[akiizayoi4869]

I watched the Madoka Magica: Rebellion movie today, and I absolutely loved it. A very interesting spin on the shows ending, and it makes perfect sense to me. In the show, nearly all of them died except for Madoka and Homura, the former of which sacrifices herself to become a God of sorts so that way no other magical girl will have to suffer anymore. So she leaves Homura alone. Alone in a world where nobody but Homura remembered Madoka. And after everything that girl went through to try and save Madoka, that's a hard pill to swallow. So when it's revealed in the movie that the reality that the girls are in isn't real, and that one of them made it up because they now have the powers of a witch, it made perfect sense for that person to be Homura.

Out of all the other magical girls, she's the one who has faced the most heartbeat and despair. Constantly going back in time, creating different worlds as a result of said time travel, all in a bid to save Madoka, the person who she loves the most. And in the end, all of her efforts were in vain. She lost the one person who she had sworn to save and protect. So is it any wonder that she would give in to her despair and create a world where Madoka and all of their friends could live peacefully?

Look at them. All together and happy, unaware of the reality they actually come from. In other words, a world that Homura wanted and desired more than anything else. Something that I found to be really interesting and thought was a nice touch was this:

The people around them don't have faces. Almost as if they weren't real people, and the only ones who WERE in fact real was Homura, her friends, and the people closest to them. They were the only ones who actually had faces in this world. Of course, eventually Homura realizes that something is off about the world, and confides in Kyoko. The two then set out to Kyoko's hometown, hoping to find some answers there....only for the bus that they were on to take them back to the city that they currently live in. And endless loop that they can't get out of. As if nothing outside of that city existed. A lot of stuff happens, and Homura eventually comes to a startling conclusion: that she was the witch that created the labyrinth they were all currently stuck in. As a result, she gives in to despair entirely and transforms into a witch. Madoka and the others arrive to try and save Homura. And now we get up to the scene that had me screaming😂.

I've been shipping these two since I watched the show, so the fact that Sayaka actually confessed to Kyoko here was a very welcomed surprise, lol. Anyway, they all fight together to save Homura (also, I loved that they played Misterioso by Kalafina for that scene, absolutely banger song) and eventually Madoka regains her true form once again:

Everything looks like it's going well, and it looks like Homura will be saved....until this happens:

Homura takes away Madoka's God powers so she can live as an ordinary girl, and takes the power for herself, essentially turning her into a demon.

Now, I'm pretty sure that there's a lot of people who hated this part, but honestly? I loved it. To me, it really showed how done Homura was with everything (and I can't say that I blame the girl, she just found out from Kyube that she was being used for an experiment in order to get to Madoka) and that she would literally do ANYTHING to make sure that Madoka and her friends could live happy lives.

Even if that meant becoming a demon to do it.

The movie ends with all of the girls alive. And this time, instead of Madoka no longer existing in the world, she's here too. In fact, she's the transfer student instead of Homura. Very interesting turn of events indeed.

All in all, I really loved this movie and I think the ending makes perfect sense, especially for someone like Homura, who has been through a heck of a lot for a young girl her age. So becoming the villain in the end? Fits her tragic story perfectly.

[getghosteddd]

ok. ok i've rewatched all 8 episodes and rambled at multiple victims. here's my final theory before the last episodes are released.

everyone's confused about how there doesn't seem to be enough time to introduce the time travel plot but also that they seem to have already included time travel elements. solution:

the events we see in the drama outside of the fire flashbacks is the regular, unchanged timeline. that really is the story of how jin met the others and became friends with them, and also how their personal tragedies unfold. if this was a linear narrative then the next episodes would be about how it all falls apart like it did in the original storyline. realistically it would leave it at an open ending right before the time loop events of the webtoon. if they did somehow include the time loop, it would have shown jin's attempts at trying to save his friends and so on.

but! it's not a linear narrative - time travel's already involved. it was basically confirmed with the two jimin pov scenes where he tries to warn the police about the fire. in the first one he stumbles and is too late, and in the second one he's given a script and is successful. so there's someone time travelling and changing the decisions that were made this day. that person texted yoongi not to leave his mother, directed tae to stall yoongi, and was the one who handed jimin the warning.

it's jin. most likely, it's jin. we haven't gotten his pov of the night yet, and we have that one scene of the capped figure flicking the lighter that belonged to jin's dad. not only does it follow jin's role in the original storyline but it's also being narratively set up by the show itself by how it keeps putting up parallels between jin and his dad. reminder that jin's dad also went through the cursed time loop in an attempt to save his friends and made the same sacrifice of losing his memories, exactly like jin did in the webtoon.

so what's with current jin? basically. the flashbacks aren't actually flashbacks. the original timeline unfolds and then at some point in the future jin decides he has to use time travel to fix things - the events in those flashbacks are the things he changes. the unknown number and capped figure is jin from the future episodes travelling back to a time where his younger self was still in america to try and save his friends without having to interact with himself because it was before any of the others would meet him two years later. Or if we're sticking with only one body then its just young jin with old jin's memories.

they are running the high school segment and the time loop plot simultaneously. maybe in the original event the others weren't even involved in the night of the fire. maybe having all of them be involved means that they avoid something tragic thats about to happen, or causes a chain reaction to happier circumstances.

... i'm trying ok. my only other guess is that the principal is the one time travelling to try and kill yoongi/cein in the fire so he doesn't out him. so.

[yeyinde]

Haha, I also spoil myself intentionally, but for the plot of movies, tv shows, and games I’m not super invested in. If I accidentally spoil myself (especially if I learn a character dies) I’ll cope by telling myself “I don’t know how/when it happened though”

Anyways Major Character Death!!

I’m SO disappointed in them killing off Soap and especially in how they did it! No buildup or anything! To me it was disrespectful to the character and to Neil Ellice. And then the 141 don’t even say anything and it cuts to them spreading his ashes with a simple goodbye! They could have at least made them a little more upset 🥲 also I hate how abruptly the game ended. Makarov gets away, but no mention to that at the end.

I had also initially requested what would become infinity in the palm of your hand (eternity in an hour) as a way to “cope” with 2009 Soap’s death because it’s always been on the back of my mind for years (weird, I know). But now after playing the new MW3 campaign I look like boo boo the fool because of who went and got killed off 😭 now every time I go back to reread it, it will be painful knowing what’s in store for reader for their current reincarnation of Soap.

Tldr I’m kinda not okay with MW3.

From what I've seen, it feels like they pulled it out of a hat. All names went in, but his (amongst others) came out. And I guess it's safe because he died in the OG, so the backlash can easily be deflected from within their own community when other fans come to their defence over this choice. But idk.

I agree with everything you said. It doesn't make any sense. It's jarring and misplaced, and canonically pointless. I'm not against character death. Grief is a powerful thing. But I just hate when it's so contrived and needless. It was definitely done for shock value over plot/character growth and I think they were trying to re-create the massive storm that happened when OG Soap died because they know they don't have much else going for them. It just massively missed the mark because: a) Price and Gaz had no tangible in-game relationship with Soap the same way Ghost did; and b) what does his death really amount to in the end? Nothing. It feels cobbled together and poorly thought out. It's sad when Portal 2 has better writing than your whole remake combined. Honestly, it's kind of impressive how little thought they put into this. I'm getting flash backs to DGG's Halloween.

If it's any consolation, the mythology I based the reincarnation off of in infinity would essentially just be neverending. An ouroboros. The events would happen much the same way. A knock on the door. Spiral of grief. A bog. A deal. Restart. So, you'd just wake up again and live life until whatever the old you made a deal with decides it's time to collect. You're forever stuck in a loop with your soulmate until you get it right.

The rest is just how I kinda wish it went, but this was getting very long because I have more thoughts on this than I anticipated lmao 😅

Personally, I think it would have been much more interesting if they brought in a new passel of characters and slowly chipped off the main cast in a series of horrible decisions that slowly begin to feel hollow and empty. That leave you, the player, feeling emotionally gutted with each new chapter because the choices previously are absolutely impacting the way they move forward, but they're too deep into their own revenge fantasy to see it until the very end when it's too late. Give me actions have consequences and every choice you make is directly responsible for someone's death. The realities of war. And what happens when you give a group of people the power to play god in countries they know nothing about. It would have matched the gritty tone they tried to go for with the trailers and actually served as an interesting conversation about war and how we tend to deify the military when they're just men with too much power in their hands. Instead, we have a death that means nothing. That arguably happened much too early in the series so the payoff is solely meant for clicks and reaction channels. Pointless.

And Makarov. A Russian Ultra Nationalist. I feel like that title alone says everything for me, and yet. They still somehow managed to give a Russian War Criminal so many wins. I'm just so irritated by it all.

[thewertsearch]

fedoraFreak: jury rigged makeshift urine filtration system utilizing serveral gorgeous silk socks, stretched like drum over open mailbox. fedoraFreak: filters adequately, remains yellow, unpalatable. fedoraFreak: storing unimbibed urine in rumpled, unsightly fedora. fedoraFreak: p.s. - they are all rumpled and unsightly, unfortunately.

Fedorafreak remains the best character in Homestuck.

Anyway, we evidently missed something pretty critical. The last time we saw John, he was about to prototype the kernel - and now he's napping. Either Vriska is interfering, or something is going down on Skaia.

TT: Why were you sleeping?

Not quite in the loop on everything, are you, Seer?

I feel like that should be a red flag for you - a sign that you should be catching up with your friends a little more. If you were, you'd have learned about Vriska's sleep-sniping habits from John or Kanaya, and you wouldn't be so surprised.

EB: i couldn't have been out for that long, because my dream was really short. TT: You weren't. TT: Ten minutes, I'd say.

It's over.

Something critical has happened here - and I'd bet a Grist Hoard that it happened because John slept through it. Someone was 8iding their time, waiting for the right moment to influence events in their favor.

I told you to be careful around that girl, John.

EB: can you see me somehow? TT: Yes. TT: I have a crystal ball. [...] EB: can it show you the future? [...] TT: No, it can only show me various locations in the present moment, as far as I can tell.

A versatile tool for a Seer, just like Dave's timetables are for him.

Perhaps every Player makes a 'classpect tool' to aid them with their specialty. You could even argue that John's is his jetpack, which allows him to acquaint himself with the air.

...that said, the trolls had rocket gear, too. His classpect tool, if it exists, will probably be more specifically tied to his Heir-of-Breathness.

TT: My perception of the future has been informed by other sources. [...] TT: Whispering gods, memories sifted from dreams, cryptic readings from unearthed talismans, conclusions drawn from riddles deciphered - every gambit you'd expect a quest to extend to an emerging seer. TT: Just as I presume an heir would be supplied with what's needed for his maturation, assuming he's looking for it.

So if you're willing to embrace your Title, the game will sort of... meet you halfway?

Well, that's easy for a Seer to say. The game provides plenty of obvious ways for you to learn more about the world around you. What's an Heir supposed to do? Who can he inherit from?

Maybe John's ultimate goal as an Heir has something to do with the Royal Families. If so, he'd better get a move on - one of them is already extinct.

TT: Sometimes trolls blither tidbits about the future, and I can't help but take note of it. TT: Just as they do with you. TT: You also have access to the oracle clouds in Skaia, whereas I do not.

You could take a peek at them with your crystal ball, couldn't you?

Actually, maybe not. The clouds are probably 'hard-coded' as a Prospit perk. The same way Jade found the Furthest Ring unpleasant and overwhelming, Rose would probably find nothing of value in those clouds.

TT: Knowing the future is no remarkable feat here. TT: It appears to be a fact of life. TT: I'm not all that special, John.

Knowing the future isn't that special - but you're sidestepping the fact that that's not currently your specialty. What makes you unusual, I believe, is the out-of-bounds information you have about the game, and the big picture surrounding it and the Green Sun.

[gods-of-mischief]

My thoughts and theories after S02E04

This theory is based on my feelings, moments from trailers, footage from filming and statements from the show's creators in interviews. And maybe things I've read in the last few weeks.

The first four episodes showed us that everything that happens is important for the later plot. And every decision can affect the further development of the story. And as the end of the fourth episode will show us, the decisions and actions of the characters were not always the right ones. If the creators wanted to show the "wrong way", I think they succeeded more than well. Like seriously, everything was slowly going to hell… with destroyed timelines, ruined lives and the death of innocents. And then there is the development of the characters and their decisions.

Yes, Loki's development was amazing (like, for example, his speech in the pie land was just great) but at the same time, you can see that he is not happy and not on top of things. Yes, there is situational humor, he wants to help, he wants to solve the problems and there is no place for "being cool and without worries" but I mean you can tell that he feels alone. He often looks resigned. He lost the life he knew and is in one round of events. Moreover, he feels rejected by Sylvie and his feelings are hurt by the misunderstanding with her.

Sylvie has found a new life, but her "I'm happy" and "everything I've done is fine" sounds like her self-delusion. She exhibits behavior that Loki would have before. Being on top of things, hiding feelings, having heightened emotions in a confrontation. But there are moments when you can see that it bothers her and in the finale it was shown that she is starting to see the whole context of things. But it's too late. Maybe that's why Loki knows that Sylvie needs to start seeing things through her own eyes. And it's all the more difficult when he understands exactly why she is the way she is. But at the same time, he fears that her "happy mask" might be real. And that there is no hope for "we'll figure it out together".

And there's also Mobius and his "bad day at the office". This is certainly not the path his character is meant to take. Being surrendered, not wanting to know anything about the past and solving problems with lime pie and hot chocolate from the cocoa machine (but not gonna lie, I totally get it).

But then there is the other side of the coin. We have seen that when Loki and Sylvie are together, they are stronger. And if they clear things up and talk (as much as possible) it will move them forward. The problem is that they ran out of time to solve the problems. So what will happen in the next two episodes?

My theory is that the first scene of S02E05 will be the same as S01E01. Loki in the desert. The entire current plot will be his time loop. Yeah, maybe we shouldn't go that far. Maybe it will be right after the Citadel. But the trailers tell us we'll see a scene from his arrest at TVA, as well as their fight from the season one finale. Either he actually comes back and relives everything, or he comes back and with it his time slip problem and tries to change specific moments.

But the problem here is that I don't know how it will work with his memory of previous events. If he knew everything, he could try to change things, but he could change too much. And the memories of others? If everyone took different steps, it would change too many things. Plus, we don't want Loki to lose his relationship development with Sylvia, with Mobius and the others. So it's hard to say how this will be resolved. Additionally, his time slip and ability to change the past is still very vaguely explained. Why can he do this? Why after Citadel?

Then there's the second McDonald's scene and the bar scene with Sylvie. If he had his memories, he could have found her right after the Citadel. For her, it could be sooner than a few months and she could be more open in conversation with him. Joining forces sooner might help. And it can help even more if the two are actually okay with each other. Be that as it may, they are the ones who matter in all of this. He Who Remains made it clear. But their different view of things, their scattered feelings were part of bad decisions. What if fixing their relationship could also fix TVA's future?

Or maybe the past? What if the real solution is in the distant past. At the beginning of TVA. Maybe Loki can change the foundations and build a better one. There may be several attempts. From start to finish. Many falls and losses. Maybe this loop will last for days, weeks or years. It would be crazy, but the idea of Loki falling in love with Sylvie over and over again is actually quite romantic, no? But yes, it's actually quite terrible. Not being able to move on with unfulfilled wishes.

Then there's Loki and his "sacrifice" at the Temporal Loom platform. It's still unclear to me here because I thought this scene will be in S02E04. But everything was different. I sincerely hope this isn't a scene to show us the next (or even final) death of Loki. This idea is already very overused. Yes, he deserves to be a hero. But they also deserve something else - to be happy. Is it a cliché? Maybe yes, but I really wish so. What if it's the point, everyone will be afraid that he will die. But what if it made him even stronger? But it would be pretty cool wouldn't it? If Loki was the real Time Keeper after all of this?

I love this show, but I care more about the characters and their future than TVA. I am a sensitive in this, who wants everyone who deserves it to have their happy ending. So let's see, we have two more episodes. Hopefully they will give us what we and they deserve. It's going to be a long wait. These weeks are longer than the two years since the first series.

[popculturebuffet]

More than Meets the Eye Retrospective: Dark Cybertron Part 1

Hello all you happy autobots and welcome back to my long look at Transformers More Than Meets The Eye. When we last left I looked at the sister comic, Robots in Disguise.

But a necessary one for Today's review: Dark Cybertron, a crossover between both books.

Dark Cybertron is the cumilation of a plot that had been slowly building in the background of Robots in Disguise while Bumblebee dithered, Prowl tried to install a dictatorship long before he got a bug in his brain telling him to keep going with that, and Starscream was awesome. Shockwave has been up to SOMETHING over the issues, working with his mentor Jhiaxus.

Chasing Jhiaxus in the best part of RiD was Optimus Prime, redubbing himself Orion Pax out of disgust with the legacy of the primes, alongside his friends Hardhead, Wheelie and Garnak, who soon found themselves chasing Jhiaxus. Mr J eventually lured them to a dead planet, where he and Waspinator, yes the boy himself, ignited a titan and made tracks for cybertron while leaving our heroes to their deaths as Shockwave held back Soundwave and his decepticons , igniting his final plan.

It's here that mystery plan comes to fruition as the lost lighters split up gang to help save the unvierse, while Bumblebee and his Cavlcade of Fuckups, and also Arcee try to stop the apocalypse and Starscream gets a new paint job as he tries to hold on for dear life to his throne with a big ole event.

This crossover's notable for a few reasons: it's the first proper event comic for the transfomers: While there had been previous event style arcs with All Hail Megatron and Chaos and crossovers with the IDW wide Infestation and the marvel crossover Transformers/New Avengers, which also means the new avengers and likely all of marvel exisit in this unvierse.

But this is the first crossover between books within the line, something that would become a tradition as IDW liked money and Hasbro liked free advertising for whatever they were doing in the toys at the time, either threading in designs from their current lines or in the case of combiner wars and titans return, just straight up having IDW model their events to match the toyline. . This lead to the ambitious and failed Hasbro Universe with Revolution, and the universe even ends on one with Unicron.

Ironically though.. this is the ONLY one to loop in more than meets the eye. And thank Primus for that. Look i'm not anti-event comic, sometimes an event can be a total banger. For a recent example see Marvel's Judgement Day. But the big two tend to do events and crossovers EVERY damn year, not giving books a chance to rest or status quos to breathe for a bit. So having More than Meets the Eye sit that shit out is a fucking relief.

It's also from a practical standpoint as this crossover shows both creative teams had trouble meshing the two together: the narrative splits into four plot threads, one in the dead universe with Optimus, Rodimus and CO, one with the rest of the lost light , one with the cavlcade of fuckups and one with god emperor starscream. the latter two evnetually intersect and the two casts DO interact towards the end of the crossover.. but in the six issues i'm covering today the only ones to interact with the lost lighters are Starscream in a brief video call and Optimus in one of the main plots. It's clear that while the two writers liked each other.. they may not of known entirely how to make the two casts function together, and thus kept them to their corners.

The result isn't a bad story but a fractured one. I will say upfront I won't be able to judge the story as a whole till next time, but I needed to do it in two parts as it's a big boy and there's a lot to go over. So join me under the cut as darkness falls over cybertron, titans rise, and rodimus gets a new toy so stupid it will bite him in the ass for the rest of the comic. IT's Dark Cybertron and it's under the cut.

We open with Nova Prime's crew. Nova Prime was a prime who was seen as a great one.. but in reality was an supremacist piece of scrap who wanted to conquer all other forms of life. He will not be missed. Among him are our boy Cyclonus and Jhiaxus, who tells Shockwave to FINISH MY WORK.

In the present.. Shockwave almost has, having seeded ores aroudn the galaxy and experimenting on a titan, both the same one that declared Starscream chosen one and then vanished.. and that Waspinator just brought home. It starts screaming in terror and bleeding out it's eyes

Elsewhere on Cybertron, Starscream woke up from a nap to find a few hours ago the sun rose.. and hasn't gone down. He also has a new all red everything paintjob, a familiar one

As i've been told and found out.. this is Starscream's look from Transformers Armada, which I did watch when it was coming out but entirely forgot this is what Starscream looked like because my memory is quicksand and only few things escape it like X-men trivia.

It's.. not my faviorite. It's almost ENTIRELY red and whlie it does look better in later shots, it's just not as fun to look at as his classic look and while he'll keep this look for the windblade mini series, i'ts telling the artists reverted to his old standby as soon as they could. The Armada look isn't bad and looking at stills from teh anime it loks GREAT there.. but it's a bit too one note for the page, at least these pages.

Starscream decides to call the autobots for help.. not the ones he exiled, an I told you so from prowl is death in it's purest form, no OUR autobots.

For now though we cut back to Optimus. Since we last left him he and his crew are trying to escape.. and luckily run into some old friends

I love this so much. Unsuprisingly Swerve made it his ring tone. Naturally Rodimus dove in anyway to save his old friend/boss/dad.

Rodimus shows his dad around, which really feels like a teenager accidently exposing his dad to all the stuff his dumbass friends do while trying to be respectible. The wind's taken out of his sails by Ultra Magnus who asks if Optimus is taking command with all the tact and grace he's known for.

Optimus isn't, he's only here for the guest spot , he's got his own leading roll to play in the other books, but he is happy to get the tour. .until Starscream calls. Screamer of course can't help but passively agressively brag about how he was elected in by popular demand after bumblbee fucked up hard

Then asks Cyclonus for help since he knows the dead universe better than anyone. The Dead Universe is a parasite, a universe that should fucntion right but is instead both sentient and EVILLLL. And it's hungies.

Back on Cybertron, Team Fuckup is starring in horror and the Dinobots want to punch the fuck out of the sun. Bumblbee tells them to wait for it... and granted he's telling them not to punch a bright light on the horizon, something even prowl can tell is stupid which tells you something, but honestly after the last two years worth of comics, the bar for Bumlebee's competence is low.

He ends up being right as the necrotitan lands. Meanwhile Shockwave goes into a whole rant about hwo this is all ineveitible that has a bunch of vauge images and two optimus primes about ot throw hands for some reason. none of this is relevant to the rest of the crossover, it's a clear misdirect and it sure does exist. The real point is who he's talking to: Nova Prime and Galvatron, who somehow returned. Also Galvatron and Megatron are two seperate people in this continuity, happens a lot, moving on.

Onto chapter 2 and Team Fuckup's strategy is now suns out guns out.. though Bumblebee's redemption arc continues as when the Autobots want to punch the giant, Bumlebee tells them no and tells them to either get in line or fuck righ toff, which actually gets them to listen. Seems Bee got a spine with his new form and I like it. After 20 some issues of him listening to whoever yelled the loudest while ignoring the people he's supposed to be serving, this is nice. It's clear field command fits him better.

He does have a bit of an exestial crisis wondering if this is the titan that choose starscream and I THINk it is. I'm not sure. But either way it's here and i'ts big.

Back with Team Rodimus, Brainstorm tells Optimus the dead unvierse is alive and that's why going into the dead universe is tricky: it'll kill anything it senses shouldn't be there. Luckily he has a plan.. and a weird creepy parsite in a jar. It's also so fun seeing the straightlaced optimus interact with the lost lighters. So dang good seeing Chromedome resisit the urge to condescend to Optimus.

Back with Starscream he's doing what any sensible cybertronian would do in this situation: GET HIS GUN. Or a lot of them hidden in a closet Rattrap is telling him to come out of. Please everyone knows Starscream as pansexual as fuck. Rattrap urges caution.. which is like saying it's tuesday but still when Starscream is whiffing it you know it's .. also tuesday but also probably an issue.

Back on the lost light we get a great scene as Rodimus, Magnus and Optimus hit swerves. Magnus is curious if they should be having command discussions in a bar but Rodimus for once isn't snippy, which tells us deep shit is a comin: he simply wants to be by his men.. granted he regrets that when he finds Swerve taking photos but for once Swerve is also not as flip: it's three of the greatest autobots of all time, on the preciipce of SOMETHING happening, something they call feel.. that shared feeling of dread. Something's coming and it ain't good.

The trio get a text from brainstorm: He's ready. This being brainstorm the most he has is a palm thing that keeps the dead universe from killing you using the venom of a monster from there he keeps in a jar. Granted this is only because it's short notice.

So our heroes come up with a plan: split up. Rodimus, Optimus, Hardhead and Cyclonus (Since he has experince) will go into the dead universe to plug whatever stygian hole is leaking. Wheelie and Garnak will stay by in Optimus' ship to pick them up after. Meanwhile the Lost LIght will head after Jhiaxus. Magnus is doubtful he can lead.. but Rodimus perks him up, assuring him he can do this: he may of been thorugh a lot.. but this is his comfort zone: "You're chasing a war criminal and i'm leaping into the unknown"

Back on cybertron Starscream talks with Scoops, a cybertronian ratrap framed for him and who belivies in screamer's prophecy. And as it turns out Screamer REALLY shoudl've payed attention to what that prophecy was or asked or.. anything other than accept it as face value as it turns out he's pegged as a "false leader" one who will bring on the coming darkness... "The stars shall scream and the symbol of the uncreator shall become clear" and said symbol is.. not encouraging to screamer or us

Anyways back to Shockwave: he's talking to Nova, and reveals the space bridge in the Necrotitan isn't working.. but luckily he has a backup plan: megatron.

We end the issue with two more cut tos: in the dead unvierse, Team Rodtimus fight some parasites hoping to snack on them since the signal their using reads "FOOD' to them and while they get away from them fine.. someone else notices. more on him soon. Back with Team Fuckup, the Calvary arrives: SOUNDWAVE BABY.

Part 3 begins with Starscream, whose assuring his adoring public.. only for a meteor to apparnetly land near the titan.

Speaking of shooting the Autobots wage a war to destroy the not so evil forces of Soundwave, only for the metor thing ot distract them too.

Before our next plot point let's talk about this series pacing as you might of noticed the last paragraph or two was just "this plot point, now this". And that's because the series likes to jump around, jump around, get up get up and get down. It has FOUR plots it's juggling and rarely do the issues just.. focus on one or two, especially early on. So each issue is bouncing around several subplots often for just two pages at a time. I don't mind a big story having to move around, but you have to let things settle for a minute. Let a plot point marinate a bit. I shouldn't feel rushed in a 12 issue crossover. 12 issues is a LOT for a story, again why this is a two parter. We do get some good character stuff like Bee growing a spine, a lot of it feels like a reahash. For instance did we need the starscrema going to get his gun scene? no we coudl've had rattrap suggest talking to scoops earlier. None of this is bad and some of the character stuff is necessary: Rodimus showing optimus around both moves the plot along with starscream's call and is objectively hilaroius. But a lot of it feels like thumb twiddling to get to the next plot point. We probably coudl've compacted most of team fuckups scenes into half an issue, if that. It feels like their cutting to each plot to make it seem important instead of carring how a story should progress. It feels like the writers took turns with scenes instead of truly colaberating on the crossover an das a result we just jump jump jump.

So we jump! Jump for the plot to our next point: the lost light where their being pushed off course... turns out Metroplex's thumb what got embedded in the ship after the annual is alive again.. and Getaway knows why: Tyrest, for all his madness, once said you can find a titan with a titan.. and figures Metroplex is trying to reunite with itself.

At the Necrotitan, Team Fuckup sadly gets back to buisness as usual.. arguing with each other. Fortuantely this time, Bumblebee.. is still a compitent leader. He's still on "wait for it" mode.. because they really CAN'T do anything and attacking a giant statue is a death warrant, and he's taken Team Soundwave's help as while they aren't on great terms, they have the same goal: Stop Shockwave. Prowl takes this with the grace, dignity and cool he's known for

God it's good to hear ANYONE, especially Bumblebee, tell Prowl to "shut up for once". And Bee's not wrong. While wait and hope things go well was a TERRIBLE strategy when Bee was running the planet and all it did was get starscream on the throne and all of them exiled, in this case.. their facing a giant cybertronian with weird glowing eyes who they can't really understand. As we'll learn shortly titans function SORT'VE like regular transformers, but are so giant, massive and ancient their hard to parse. A small band of semi-reformed fuckups, an asshole, and a bunch of casette tapes and their player/dad isn't REMOTELY enough to stop that thing and interacting with it might just piss it off.

And sure enough Starscream seemingly prooves that hypothesis as he tries to manipulate it by talking to it.. only for it to explode into 2 or 3 pages of purple light. And This.. I like> it lets the MAGNITUDE of this thing's power play out, it's sudden, and it's shocking, and the effects afterwords aren't good as Arcee is out, the death wave having taken down their forces. once again Prowl won't shut the fuck up, wanting them to attack... and bee brushes him off essentially asking

He points out the death wave, his words not mine, is heading towards the city and despite Starscream's efforts.. it goes off. Shooting the titan would've eithe rdone nothing or set this off SOONER. There is NOTHING they can do and that.. works for me. As douchey as Prowl's being which, par for the course and all that aside, you understand his want to do SOMETHIGN.. but their in a situation where all they can do is just sit, wait, and HOPE they can figure something out. Shockwave said it best as Starscream tried talking to the titan. "We were all too late from the beginning". Unlike the bulk of the comic thus far sitting and reacting is all they have. .because they don't know the full scope of what's going on here. WE as an audience don't know what the hell the necrotitan just did: I only have it's name thanks to the wiki.

The wave not only hurt the living.. but wakes the dead as Metalhawk is back, on the bad guy's side now.. and pisssssseeed. Starscream to his credit reacts more with "Oh goody another cherry on the shit sundae that is today." but he still gets stabbed and Metalhawk is taking Megatron, bye. While Scoops goes to help people, the citzens surround starscream, his star falling.

On the lost light thei rleft with a decision: follow Jhiaxus.. or follow the severed thumb. Ratchet dosen't wanna as he feels their back in the "autobots mainstream" again... but Brainstorm disagrees.. and Perciptor shockingly AGREES: an ancient god has asked them to come find him, and given the end of days is going on back at home, an ancient god could REALLY come in handy right now. Magnus agrees and they head to a planet full of blood red water. At least I hope it's water. THey go deep into planet danzig, and find a horde of microbots ready to tear them apart. These are the amonites from the 25th issue adn they aren't happy.

Closing out the issue Shockwave prepares to make Megatron into a spacebridge. It's very impressive and not at all healthy.

Chapter 4 begins back with the lost light and with good art for those portions again! Yeah while i've glossed over it because this is a LOT of comics to go over and i'm already behind, the art for the lost light sections of parts 2 and 3 is once again by James Raiz, who has a very sketcyhy lifeldian style.. and not bein ga fan of those styles in general, I like it even lest on the quippy, weird lost light. It dosen't fit at all and the lack of expresssion dosen't really work with characters who thrive on expression even when they got no mouths.

It also works as we get bits like Brainstorm trying to hop onto Perciptor's exposition and Magnus announcing himself as "duly apointed enforcer of the tyrest accord" before remembering "Oh yeah the horrifying events of the last arc right. Just an autobot now". I'ts a bit funny but also very sad. All it gets is the super combinining amonites blowing up their window.

Back on cybertron the mob turns on starscream, with Scoops rightfully calling him out for dooming them and pointing out the black mark on him as a sign.. whne really he just tried to schmooze an elder god of a robot, but semantics. poitn is time is running out for our faviorite boy.

Back on planet Danzig, Skids remembers the amonites and wonders why their pissed.. forgetting they you know, ended their forever war and one of them tried to kill thunderclash, something the lost light prevented. Take your pick.

With the Lost Light too big a target the crew decides to split up: they have a few water vechiles and half of the aquabots, so they should be fine, but they still need more... so Magnus gets an idea: they'll take the rodpod. Like the audience Getaway wonders "what the fuck is that" before we gaze on it in all ti's glory.. or as glorious as it is as for some reason we're suddenly back to raiz art.

Yes the rodpod, which Magnus was worried about as naturally Rodimus loves this stupid fucking thing as mucha s I do. But Skids is banking on Rodimus' short attention span.

The important thing here, besides this very hilariously stupid thing happened in a major crossover and that's awesome, is Getaway's reaction. His disguist, his sheer confusion.. for now it just comes off as most people's reaction to this ego piece who aren't used to Rodimus shit by now. But true to roberts.. this bit is one of the MAIN REASONS why we still had to cover this crossover. It's not the only one but this one small character moment.. ends up changing the entire course of this entire comic and our heroes lives forever. Yes the RODPOD is so rediculous and breaks a man's brain so bad, it has deep lasting conseqeunces that will last to the finale of this comic. I love that more than words.

Our heroes take the rodpod out for a spin, and while Rung kills a guy, and it's awesome, our heroes blow up a giant super combined amonite as they apparently have no upper limit but no upper limit dosen't mean "can't blow up real good"

Back to the dead Universe where Optimus deals with some squabbling from the kids

See this.. really shows the contrast between the two styles: the bickering over with Team Fuckup is annoying at times, bette rin this series but still annoying. The banter between the lost light on the other hand feels both more genuine and funnier. And I get the quippy style isn't for everyone: The MCU has gotten some fatigue fo rthat.. but I like a bit of back and forth. it shoudln't be the whole thing, and MTMTE succeeds largley because the characters are deeply made as well as deeply hilaroius, but a little humor helps. It breaks up the dark exesntial terror of everything to occasoinally have things like Rodimus' stupid headship he built for his own amusment or Optimus being about 5 mintues from turning this dead universe around so help me god.

Yet the questions he brings up .. arne't unfair as his next cuts deep: if Optimus had asked him to stay, would he have? And the answer.. is yes. Yet what cuts deeper.. is optimus response: He has the utmost faith in Rodimus and the progress he's made.. and it's clear form his silence he both regrets he's hardly made any and the choices he HAS made. He saved the world, something he rightfully rubbe din Hardhead's face as he was one of the many who nearly died thanks to Tyrest's attmepted genocide, but it's clear the thigns he's done weigh on rodimus: Would staying have helped? Could he have made a bette cybertron?

And the hard answer is.... no. Him staying wouldn't of been a good thing: he didn't want to be there, none of the bots who left really had ideas for a new better cybertron and MORE autobots wasn't going to fix a situation where autobots being there at all was causing tension with the nails. The sad truth is Bumblebee failed not because Rodimus left, but because he didn't have any plan other than "We want to retain power" , and with a throng of people crying for a better government and something NEW that was never going to happen.

The ironic thing is while Rodimus is on a quest for the old... his going out, exploring, doing daring due war or no war.. IS something new. He's letting his bots be who they are, having down time, movie nights, open bars. Sure he's also shoved some of them into very bad situations, the whole overlord mess was a waking nightmare and should never have happened and swerve shooting rung is ENTIRELY his fault. Rodimus, like Bee, often tries to lead like this is war time instead of a shaky peace. Yet despite also operating from that style.. he's casual enough and caring enough deep down that his bots.. get to have lives. Be who they want to be. He's not yelling tat them for daring to want to not shoot people or trying to create infastructure, he's just like "when I need you, do your fucking job bro". He may be embarassed around optimus.. but his letting his crew be people instead of weapons is better than Bee trying to lead like this is a war of attrition and not "what comes after" or Prowl acting like the war neve rended and a shiny new police state is better and not what caused the war in the first place.

OUr heroes soo seen Cyclonus is bleeding.. and soon have bigger issues as Nightbeat has arrived.

Back on cybertron Prowl sucks suprising no one wanting AGAIN to attack the giant robot that just wiped out hal fof them despite having no plan other than "shoot it REAL hard" Bee once again calls him out

He brused Prowl's ego enough to actually get him to pause.. well huff like a child but Prowl does have soundwave scan the city, which picks up something bad: Megatron SCREAMING as Shockwave both turn shim into a bridge and tries to get him to join. He naturallyr efuses ESPECAILLY since the primes are involved, so instead of joining in the new world order.. he gets prime coming out of his chest.

We end the issue on Team Magnus as they find Metroplex.. and end up in his eye socket.. which is hollowed out. Which is impressive but horrifying. And also not very healthy.

Onto part 5, and Shockwave is helping his pawns out of a screaming megatron's chest

When Team Fuckup arrives... Bumblebee has no idea what Shockwav'es doing but it end snow.

It dosen't though because Metalhawk is here, and Bumblbee's attempts to pull an "I know your in there somewhere fight", failed as Metalhawk is consumed by vengance and purple stuff. Skywarp attempts to just free megatron but his teleporting fails.

Prowl questions WHY Shockwave is helping nova.. not getting that maybe, just maybe the One Eyed Two Horned Grounded Purple Plotter whose already manuvered you all like chess pieces.. is using them as pawns for something much worse. Either way he gives Nova time to escape and his best buddy Waspinator time to bring him the staff Waspinator used to awaken the titan and summons it as if it were one of his x-men.. and has it crush them as if it were his juggernaught.

Back to the dead universe, let's talk about Nightbeat: Nightbeat is an autobot detective. During Nova Prime's previous plot, he had a thing installed in Nightbeat's head to turn the poor guy into his sleeper agent. Unfortunately for him he again picked a detective and one of the best at that so while he coudln't do much, Beat at least figured out he was being brainwashed and after shooting Hardhead had enough will to beg heardhead to shoot him.

So naturally his sudden return is a lot for everyone to process. As for how the shore he died on WAS connected to the dead unvierse, Optimus correctly guesses he got swept in with the tide. We get a sense of Nightbeat's personality too, as doing a simple look at Cyclonus tells him about Tailgate's near injury: he has facial scars, they were self inflicted, and they were patched recently. Cyclonus responds to this invasion of privacy mixed with genuine sympathy by trying to choke a bitch.

Back with team fuckup they TRY to count up their wounded.. but they hav ebigger issues: Megatron is craddling Ironhide crisis on infinite earth's style, before Galvatron rips him the fuck in half, starting his streak at one and declaring WHOS NEXT.. and somehow that's not their biggest issue as the titan is still active and shockwave is now in control.

Back in the dead universe, we find out how Nightbeat survivied: he was dead going through the portal and sense dead equals alive in this universe, he's spared. Sorta like how a healing spell usually hurts a zombie in an rpg just reversed.

At any rate he has some bad news for cyclonus: his hand generator thingy broke nad the Dead Universe has reclaimed him.. and he also has time to ominously say "your all home now" before triggering a giant force field around them. Turns out his death didn't undo his sleeper agent brain thing and Nova has come for them.

Before we move on to our final chapter for this batch, let's look at this cover. Which I rarely do for tim's sake but this one well

It looks like Nova Prime is playing with his dolls again.

At any rate we're back with what's left of Team Fuckup: bumblbee' smissing while what's left is running from the titan. The Dinobots plan to lead it away.. but it was already going this way they just were running away from it and are only pulling a prometheus because their genuinely not fast enough to get out the side, especially with some of them carrying wounded.

Back with Team Magnus, they notice Metroplex is decaying... partly due to age as getting spare parts is hard for titans and partly due to the weird blood water all around Planet Danzig. Theya lso find that Metro's BRAIN is missing: he's still alive but without that he's clearly dying. Getaway notices something in the water and calls Swerve for help but h'es a bit busy getting his groove on

They do however find a place to drydock. Back in the dead universe, Hardhead tells his friend he's going to rekill him while Optimus fakes a fight with rodimus to tell him there's a hidden barrier. While Hardhead tries to reach him Nova arrives.

Back on cybertron Starscream's no good horrible very bad day continues as he finds not only is his mark of shame spreading, but he's not the only one dying. After getting yelled at by his second tankor today he finds the titan heading right for him and the wounded

Back on Planet Danzig, our heroes find some arrows in the dry dock.. but it takes them around in circles.. then an Amonite blows up the ship, leaving them stranded.

We end this issue and the first half of dark cybertron with Nova Prime megomanically gloating... Hardhead escapes to shut him up.. only for it not to go well> Turns out PRime is not only crazy strong, but he CRUSHES Hardheads fist in his hands and then watches the poor guy desintgrate. He has plans for those left though: he's taking them to see a new friend he's made: bumlbee whose the shiny new space bridge.

So that's where we end it? Can Team Fuckup somehow save cybertron? Did any of team magnus survivie? Can Optimus shut this dude the fuck up. Find out in april folks! Thanks for reading

[threecirclingbuzzards]

Love the patch clothing! I just bought a denim jacket myself and am looking forward to decking it out. Do you have tips or resources in how to get started? Much appreciated :)

I've only been doing this a year and a half so I am far from the perfect source of information, but here's what I've gathered over that time:

This post has a lot of really good information for painting and sewing patches. I use fabric paint from Michael's over acrylic because it holds better, but also maybe because it was a "gift" from a friend and idk if he paid the actual price for those. They also changed their brand so I can't speak to the quality of the new stuff, I just know I like Imagin8 and Tulip fabric paints from them. The colours you want to mix white or test on small scrap fabric before making a design. When painting, I sketch with pencil or get a stencil reference. Another way of painting here.

Stitching onto a jacket you can follow the first post, take sewing thread, cut a length, put through the needle, tie the end around itself [make a loop holding both ends together, put it through the other side] stitch from the inside of the jacket to start to hide that knot, pull directly away from the patch on the outside, stitch back through the patch from the bottom. If both fabrics were clear it would be a sawtooth shape you'd see.

Most scrap fabric will do fine to paint on, and I like to hem the edges to prevent fraying of my painted or printed patches but you don't have to and I didn't used to/don't always still, it's just a little stronger. and is good for thinner or loosely woven fabric like those that feel like denim.

[for info on how to hem and general sewing tips, check craft blogs, I am very devil may care with my sewing and have stabbed myself a lot. For stitch spacing use a ruler or other guide. I use my fingers it's not recommended.]

I also suggest, depending on where you're located, checking etsy or other independent storefronts online for some local/semi-local shops for screenprinted punk patches to see if anything catches your eye, but especially look for embroidered patches if you want any decent embroidery. Some are also from quite a distance but have a good shipment cost, but I try to buy local to avoid it being air mail. For punk style screen printed patches in America on Etsy that I can vouch for, I can name ZombieRufio, DeadGiants, RainbowDistribution, and DrunksWithaPress.

Punk With A Camera have some good screenprints if you're from North America, I know the bassist of my favourite local band has the "soup for my family" patch from there, and I'm planning to get it myself as well sometime soon. Bandcamp also sometimes has punk artists list their patches in their merch tab.

Other places I've gotten pins and patches is:

Scout Shops if you're again in North America, or Britain I think also has some, but that's a grab bag and usually just shapes like the dog my friend has or the raccoon I have.

Local festivals/shows, a lot of events in parks and such as community events with local artisan sellers have some cool pins and patches on occasion, I got my genderqueer pin from that. and of course local bands occasionally have pins and patches at their merch tables during and after local shows. For me, Local is the city next to mine with any actual punk venues for local shows [I think we have five places that punks play at currently in that bigger city.] but for you it could be your city, or a bit further. Look around on social media for your area. My gf found the bar I met a bunch of local punks at searching for cool places to eat in that city.

Finally, but not super useful, got a bunch from my uncle and grandfather on my mom's side in a big box from Scouting trades, so I have a big bag of miscellaneous patches from places they went to, and some just classic plain vintage patches, which definitely gave me a leg up. Stores catering to alternative fashion sometimes have old pins or patches but that's very location dependant.

For my studs, I had an Amazon gift card from a family member and bought it through there, but I can't advise doing that generally. Not really a fan of Amazon obviously. My cone spikes were a gift from my girlfriend who I believe did something similar, used an Amazon gift card. I know that other people have better places to order spikes from online if you're American, but I'm not sure how relevant that would be to you. Spikes I say be smart, do some research, be careful of being overcharged. Most of my jackets started without and just had safety pins from a drug store and scrap metal from wherever I found it and that looked really cool too.

Finally, I liked to build up my jackets in "stages" where I collect a few patches and then sew them all on close in time to one another, as it allowed me to plan the layout better, and make the final result look better to my eyes.

Now with all that very very long wall of text out of the way this is me expressly asking you to PLEASE reach out if you have any other questions, I love talking about this. Also if you post any progress pictures on Tumblr, you are required to tag me now. I want to see them.

Thank you to @genderfluid-and-confuzled for prompting the two posts I link at the top btw, He's awesome and has been the source of a lot of great conversation regarding jackets for me. My pieces wouldn't exist without you, comrade.

[mwolf0epsilon]

The Umbaran Pathogen - Day 10: Branding

Summary: Two days after the 212th breaks away from the 501st, Waxer and Canivete come across a rather unusual specimen while out scouting the perimeter of their current basecamp.

Warning: N/A

Prev / Next

[In which the events on Umbara are worsened by an unknown pathogen taking hold of both the 501st and 212th. These series of drabbles will follow a non-linear timeline based on the AI-less Whumptober prompt list for 2023.]

THIS STORY IS ALSO ON AO3

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"I'm just saying... It's not that he can't rock the mustache all on its own, but would it kill him to try to do something different with his hair once in a while?" Waxer carried on with the previous discussion he and Canivete had been having during mealtime.

And, as rude as it was to talk about a vod who wasn't even on planet, Cani couldn't help but to agree a little with what he was saying. Boil could really use a new look that didn't just consist of putting all his effort into facial hair.

Maybe some kind of decorative fade, or maybe even a mullet...

"Keep your eyes on the ground. This place is crawling with critters ready to snack on our bone marrow..." She responded instead, making sure to keep her own peepers glued to the forest floor as she walked.

For all that Umbara was a bit of a desolate hellhole, one couldn't deny that the plants and trees had a sort of ethereal look to them. The Zabrak Spikes's glowing red spines looked beautiful against the dark hues of the landscape. And (if not for the fact they were aggressive) the tendrils of Death's Embrace moved in strangely alluring manners that were almost hypnotizing. Almost.

That enchanting beauty was exactly why it was so easy to get caught unaware by the creatures that roamed up above on the canopies, or that chose to camouflage down below with the foliage.

The Vixus, for example, were masters at just that.

"I hear ye, and I see it too." Waxer reassured as he glanced forward to what had alarmed Cani in the first place. A Vixus tendrils, just barely visible among actual plant roots. Waiting for someone to be so careless as to tread on it. "Nasty beasts..."

Nasty indeed. Too many had already fallen into this particular trap for them to have any understanding or sympathy for this particular way of hunting. Even Pi, with his fascination for animals, wouldn't defend these beasts after he heard just how many vode had been devoured.

If Cani got to live long enough to tell him that is...

Shaking that particularly negative thought out of her head, the medic carefully sidestepped the seeking tendril and carried on moving. Waxer tailed calmly behind her, flashlight skimming over the beast's closed bulb-like maw. Then his footsteps stopped abruptly, causing her to pause as well.

"Waxer?" She turned around, noting the way he was observing the dormant Vixus. "Leave it be, we need to keep moving."

"I know..." Even with his helmet on, she could easily tell he was frowning. "I just... Does that look natural to you?"

He pointed, her eyes following his finger and noting the rather strange marking on the creature's outer shell. It looked like some kind of symbol had been stamped on it. Or rather, burnt on with a branding iron. For what purpose however, she did not know.

Neither did Waxer who was staring at it with clear confusion.

"Uh... Weird..." Cani mumbled as she went to grab her datapad off its belt loop. "There's lettering on it. Umbaran, obviously. I'll snap a holo and we can show it to the General. He's good with languages."

"Yeah, probably best we do that. It's never a good sign when you find a big predator with some kind of branded symbol on it..." If anything, it was downright suspicious. And they both knew it. "Last time that happened, dang thing was some kind of tracking beast..."

"I doubt these things are trainable, but it's better to be safe than sorry." Canivete conceded. She took the holo and then motioned for them to carry on. The sooner they finished scouting the perimeter, the faster they could ask General Kenobi about the odd specimen they'd just encountered.

[ceruleanmusings]

TyHil Love Countdown Week 1 - Dawn

It's back again, my favorite beyblade event over at @takaoxhiromi! I'm going to do things a little different this time because my entries are (hopefully) all going to be on the shorter side. I'll post the whole entry here and also give links to FFN and Ao3 if you prefer to read them there. I'm also doing this because FFN currently has an issue where no alerts are being emailed out at all and I don't want people potentially missing my updates. Enjoy! (Ao3 | FFN)

Their breaths collided, curling and twisting in the crisp air of dawn.

He'd never appreciated it, the stillness before the world woke up. How time became suspended, creating infinities between the passing seconds. How the light of the waking sky extended and stretched in slow increments, allowing a peaceful transfer between tranquility and liveliness.

She kept asking him why he chose that time of day, even going so far as suggesting he wanted to hide her. That comment ruffled but the look in her eye hurt. She held her chin up, as assured as always, but he'd always been able to see past the sheen in her ruby eyes. The doubt hidden behind the bolster.

Uncertainty didn't fit her; it sat like a thick, cumbersome shawl, pulling her shoulders down and bundling her tight. She needed more room to take up space, breathe, and exist.

Which, incidentally, was part of the reason he chose the early morning for their sessions.

It took time for her to unfurl, to uncross her arms and relax enough to get sucked into his teachings. Her initial huffs and rolls of her eyes faded way to a quiet concentration he'd seen plenty when she studied or took an exam or…did this. Tried something new, tried to get an understanding of it to make it all fit in her world, tried to get him.

Admittedly, he wasn't that complicated. He lived his life like he floated on the wind, moving along where the day took him. And yet that was still something she didn't understand, couldn't seem to wrap her head around, or so he guessed with all the ways she'd criticized him over the years or shook her head at his antics. It was easier to show her and show her he did.

That's why he chose this time. That's why he chose the dewy drips of dawn. Because it was no one else but him and her, no expectations, no judgment, no pressure, no disappointment. They could be Tyson and Hilary; they could exist and breathe.

"Almost." She shivered against him and he hid the grin threatening to bloom across his face, lest he'd wanted to receive an elbow to his chest. After all, they couldn't mix business and pleasure could they? Or so she claimed. Still he couldn't resist, turning his head so his mouth just barely touched her ear. She shivered against and he let out a low chuckle. She stepped backwards a touch at the sound, pressing her back fully against his front. He closed his eyes, focusing on the heat seeping from her to the delicious floral scent clinging to her neck. Cheater.

His hands cupped her shoulders, gently lowering them down from her ears. "Just breathe," he said. Her body rose and fell beneath his grasp. "Good." He slid his hands down her shoulders, over her arms, and rested them on her extended hands, one finger curled around the plastic loop attached to the launcher in her opposite hand. "If you hold your breath, you won't get the right pull. Everything needs to work together for the launch."

She looked at him out the corner of her eye, lips pursing just slightly. The gloss applied caught the first beam of sunlight and, damn, did she deserve that spotlight. It was as if stardust had been thrown at her and she caught it in her mouth. He'd travel to the heavens to get a taste of it if he had to. Thankfully, he had a full constellation in his arms.

Tyson adjusted her grip a touch, allowing his fingers to drag across her wrists before placing his hands to her hips. She sucked in a breath, the air hissing inwards between her teeth when he twisted her a little to the right, whooshing back out when the tips of his fingers slipped just beneath the hem of her blouse and met with her warm skin.

"Okay." His breath floated out past her cheek, mingling with her short puffs. "Whenever you're ready, let it rip."

She gave a wry smile. "Ha ha."

He also smiled, though it beamed with satisfaction. "That wasn't meant to be a pun but…"

"It's fitting."

Her face relaxed and that look came back. He saw the gears turning in her head, the rapid strings of her putting all the information he'd given her moving into place, figuring it all out. Her grip tightened. Her chest rose and fell with her deep breaths. And her lisp pressed together, tightening, stopping her breath, only for it come out with a soft groan when Tyson pressed a kiss to the junction between her neck and collar bone.

The launcher landed in the grass; its thud softened by the lush blades. Her hand, now empty, reached back and lay atop of his, fingers slotting between when he squeezed her hips.

"That's not fair," she whispered, though he heard the smile in her voice.

He parted his lips just enough to let his tongue drag a quick stripe across her warm skin. "Oh well." He lifted his head and pressed another kiss to the side of her neck, this time beneath her chin. "Means we'll have to train longer."

Humming, she turned in his arms and loosely wrapped hers around his neck, lifting to brush her nose against his. "Unfortunately."

She'd barely finished the word when he ducked his head, trapping it between their eager lips, getting a taste of heaven and of her as they bathed in the light of dawn.

[gamesbynuxill]

Refactoring/porting Nocti has been going well. Ive decided to add in an area that's not 100% finished but the way it's structured means that doesn't matter.

Porting the events has given me time to think about the story of Nocti and helped solidify where i want it to go. Its also made me realize that said story, the real "meat" of the game, is found by poking and prodding and showing effects to NPCs. This fits excellently with Nocti's theme but isn't everyone's cup of tea.

In an attempt to mitigate player frustration (and get people to see the stuff I've spent ages on) I've added features to hopefully make finding interactive objects easier.

The in game manual is there to explain the exploration/YNFG genre game loop and basic controls to new players. Interaction Indicators will either highlight objects when you hover over them or when you walk by, based on if the mouse controls are on or off. The symbol also changes to match the type of interaction.

Highlight Objects puts a white, slowly pulsing border on collectable or important objects like Effects and Orbs. Exit Arrows shows the location of more ambiguous transfer points on maps. These options are all off by default, but if you need a little help getting around or need extra clarification they're there for you.

I've tried my best to make as many accessibility options as possible given RPG Maker's limitations, so I hope someone can put them to good use.

There's also a character that serves as a diagetic Universal Hint System, but they aren't immediately present. There are currently two ways to unlock them early, and I changed the dialogue of the item for the easier method to make it clearer you are doing the right thing.

As a final note, I found out the Nocti has an article on the new YNFG wiki, but it is super out of date, mixing stuff from the Jam entry and the current build. I feel weird editing it myself as the creator, but I don't know how big of a following this game has. I don't advertise much, and it's been a long time since an update... If it comes down to it I'll update it myself but for now I'm sending out a call to action.

Thanks for everything! The Update is coming soon, I hope you enjoy it when it's finally out.

[eutravels]

Rani Takes on the World : Beyond Bannerman Road (1)

After watching the minisode from 2020 called Farewell Sarah Jane, you can't help but think you want to see all these characters back. Lucky for me, when I saw it, this boxset had just come out, and I have to say I was impressed.

Every story is different and better than the last, the characters' evolution is perfectly managed considering the big gap between the TV show and the events from these three stories. It really has the ambition to be a true successor to the Sarah Jane Adventures by putting Rani as the front woman and working on very qualitative scripts.

I honestly cannot wait for the next one to come out and I sincerely hope it catches up on the high expectations this boxset helped build within me.

Here is a story by story review, beware some spoilers here and there, even though I made my best to make it spoiler free.

Here Today

I only have one word for this one: wow. First of all, the time loop is well executed and the urgence of the situation is very well conveyed by the twists, the characters and the music.

I can't not mention the jaw-dropping scene at the end of the first time loop. Absolutely chilling. You have to listen to it to understand how much of a shock it is.

You don't have a second to yourself when listening to this one, the story just takes you and you have to get along.

Destination: Wedding

I'm not gonna lie, it was kind of hard for me to get into this one at first but in the end I loved it so much more than the pilot! You can easily guess the solution to the mystery but never without a doubt.

Gita is just the perfect comic character, every single sentence of her is an instant punchline, and she's also got a lot of heart.

Rani seems to be kind of in a young adult life crisis, because once again she's comparing herself to her same aged peers, even more so in this one with the pressure of her mother onto her. These are themes that resonated with me a lot since I am approximately the same age as Rani is supposed to be in this and I actually am going through all of this.

Also, I wasn't sure I understood it correctly in the first story but now it's clear: Phoenix is a non-binary person! Yay! And they're dating Clyde, a major character!

In the end this one was pretty enjoyable even though it had a lot less action and tension than the one before, but the character work and the mysterious plot make it an absolute banger!

The Withching Tree

Wow, this one was definitely my favourite! So chilling! I started listening to it during a night road trip and it was really frightening!

The plot twist is really surprising and every new happening is a shock.

I really liked that this episode was kind of an episode of Rani's podcast, I hope they do that on the second series as well.

It was very well orchestrated to make the tension build up to the great reveal, which is so satisfying to listen to. Honestly a great piece of drama.

This is the first time I had heard about Tyler Steele because I didn't listen to any of the Torchwood stuff, so at first I was like "Who does he think he is? Why is he so ok with aliens?" but then I looked him up and it made a lot more sense.

I also loved that the Blue Box Files were being mentioned since I'm also currently listening to Doctor Who Redacted so it was a really nice touch from Big Finish to make Rani and Samira talk about them!

[mcknotanniegrey]

I know I'm in the minority and the show ended 2 years ago, but I've gotta get my Lucifer thoughts out somehow.

(Spoilers below)

So I finished the show and I expected to be disappointed based on what I was seeing of the internet's reaction to the ending... but i was pleasantly surprised to discover that I loved the ending. To quote Jeremy Strong, i thought it made sense dramaturgically. It was emotional, beautiful, and written with love to the original myth, the show's narrative arc, and the fans.

Like literally everyone got a happy ending, the show stayed true to its therapy concept and character arcs and growth, Lucifer and Amenadiel both learn from their father's mistakes and make different choices, Chloe is Amenagod's consultant and lives her human life feeling fulfilled, and still a Deckerstar happy ending! That's incredibly difficult to wrap up so much character development and the series as a whole in a "happy ending" way while also staying true to the integrity of the art.

The years Chloe and Lucifer spend physically apart (but still emotionally together) echo the myth of Hades and Persephone, staying true to the eternal love story with the bittersweet yearning and the reunion. What's a few decades when you're looking at eternity? It's as Rory said, that time is a blip in their existence. After the time loop is resolved, the whole family can visit and be together again. We get cake & eat it too!

There were some things I have critique for, of course. Amenadiel discovering racism again and his investigations felt out of place on their own; but I can justify this arc to myself for a few reasons: 1) it echoes the journey both Amenadiel and Lucifer take realizing that the entire system is flawed and how they want to change things if they had the power/authority to do so 2) there's a social responsibility I'm sure the showrunners felt about a police procedural show, given how we know these shows affect perceptions of police and in fact are used as propaganda that affects the public's perception of the current (and past and still happening now post-show...) events. It makes sense that the writers and actors would want to comment on this while also being quite hopeful in aligning with the show's themes about change and improvement. The system is terribly flawed, but there's still hope because we can change things and confront the injustice. 3) Amenadiel can't solve systemic racism for humanity because we need to do it ourselves. Amenagod fixing this would be the cheap way out narratively and also pessimistic in its messaging that IRL we can't do anything without the divine stepping in and undoing our mistakes. 4) Chloe wouldn't be happy being only Mrs. G, wife and mother. She is the Detective and both she and Lucifer realize that this part of her identity is integral; neither of them want her to have to sacrifice this. By being Amenagod's consultant and continuing her career as lieutenant, Chloe still has her independence and own identity outside of being Lucifer's partner. She's able to live a fulfilling human life without commuting back and forth from earth to heaven/hell.

Another critism is that all of the main characters were romantically paired up by the series end, when that doesn't have to be the ideal ending for someone at all. It sucks that we had to make sure Ella finally got a good boyfriend, as an example, especially when her arc confronting her own darkness and refinding her faith felt much more important and emotionally poignant in my opinion. But I can also see how this choice was probably made to support the fans and give favorite characters a happy ending, rather than only appealing to the Deckerstar fans.

I don't know, I guess I'm just so surprised that it seems (from reddit at least) that people hated the ending so much as to compare it to GOT - when David Benioff and D.B. Weiss clearly wanted their own show to be over and done without caring about the narrative arc at all - when it just seems so apparent to me that Ildy Modrovich and Joe Henderson clearly cared deeply about their show and wanted to give an ending that fit narratively/had integrity as a story and also was a love letter to the fans who'd saved the show to begin with.

[la-scree]

Yua and G'raha: Why They Will Never Be Comrades

Before we get into this bit of Yua’s Lore and why it happens, I will need to bring up some Content Warnings. It’ll be marked within the writing but also I’m just gonna say it here as well:

-Torture and Murder

-Suicide Ideation

-Isolation and Loneliness

I also want to point out that it's okay to like very different characters compared to myself. It's something I have to say because Fandom will Fandom but I'm not gonna be an ass just because you like the ketchup cat. We got enough bullshit in the fandom and I'm not the type to piss in someone else's sandbox. With that said…

You’ve probably heard me go on about how Yua has issues with the Scions’ resident catboy and speak briefly about why she feels that way. While I have my own critical thoughts, they do not go as far as how Yua views him. Not yet anyway but his simps (derogatory) are driving me to the point of hating him so your mileage may vary. You’ve heard me throw things such as ‘gets aggro pinged’ when it comes to their so-called relationship but I never really put into a lot of detail as to why. It’s taken me a long time to put it into words so I hope this goes alright, especially since so many things have changed since I had last written things on this (2021) and now it’s 2024. But before I explain why Yua doesn’t have love for G’raha, I’ll need to talk about some of her time before her arrival in Etheirys and why that part of her life made her the way she is.

A Traveler By Not Her Own Choice and Her Own Mental Struggles

Yua has been going through some intense trauma that hasn’t been addressed in years. To be more specific, she has CPTSD due to her time during Persona 4’s end as well as her time in Synodiporia, a game on Dreamwidth where she was constantly travelling between worlds. Within the True Ending of Persona 4, Yua faced the goddess of Death, Izanami (and her start of somehow always getting involved with Death deities) as Hope’s Representative to show that Humanity can make its own choices. During the fight, each member of the Investigation Team took a hit meant for Yua and as a result, died and got ‘dragged to Yomi’.

Yua watched all her friends get killed and dragged to Hell. That’s not a small trauma, even for a Wild Card and someone still in her teenage years. Moreso because she spent a lot of time with them and grew close to them given her lonely life before Inaba. Yes they got revived but still, that’s a horrible thing to witness! And before that, Adachi fought Yua and was left frozen while he pistol whipped her and did his villain monologue. Think what happened in the original anime but the only difference is Yua managing to break free and stab his hand with a piece of glass. Again, a traumatic moment during her teenage years and seen currently by Yua’s fear of guns. 

It gets more intense when she was forced by beings called the Arcana to be a pawn in a game that will determine which would run the universe. And because of this, Yua experienced one of the very worst things that can happen to anyone: murdered then brought back to life constantly.

(CW: Talk of torture, death, isolation, and loneliness)

One of the worlds that Yua visited before the events of Syn happened was called Moebius: a sick and twisted prison the Arcana put the Travellers like her in as a means of punishment for telling a group in the previous world who they were and what they were trying to accomplish: it all depended on which Arcana was involved. The purpose of this jaunt was to make sure everyone dies…and replaced the original people with the Travellers. Or rather ‘overlays’ but nitpicking won’t help right now. And there’s another twist to this: there’s a time limit. If they don’t accomplish their goal, time resets and they would have to do this over and over again. 

Some of these loops Yua remembers. Some she doesn’t. One she does was when doctors purposely cut her open as a means of torture with no anesthesia and wide awake, being one of her deaths. Another time was where they cut into her torso, another was other travellers killing her, the list goes on. Every single time, Yua was murdered and the scars quite literally remain. And every time she was killed, the arcana revived her like it was nothing. Like her life didn’t matter. This was the start of Yua’s spiral, changing from the positive girl who would be open to anyone to being closed off and much more harsh. This also led to her feeling isolated from the other travellers, including other versions of the Investigation Team when they did not know she existed. Basically, every single person knew Yua as her male counterparts called Souji Seta or Yu Narukami. There was an exception (sort of) with a version of Adachi, being in the role of the Wild Card where he did meet a girl named Seiki. However, she died in a car accident as a young child.

So there was another version of Yua out there…just dead. You can see why this doesn’t help.

She couldn’t really hold strong friendships or connections except with Adachi (who will be called Herodachi so it differs) and Minako Arisato, the FEMC from Persona 3 Portable. Even with those, the isolation grew strong as Travellers would sometimes get stuck within various spaces specialised to themselves called dungeons. What’s in a dungeon depends on the person and their emotional state. Sometimes calm and other times hectic and dangerous. Typically, someone stuck in a dungeon needs help getting out from others but there are very rare exceptions.

Yua was the only one.

She was stuck in her own personal hell of isolation, loneliness, and making sure she didn’t die to Shadows. She pulled herself out and while on the surface, this sounds heroic and shows how strong and tough she is but it wears on her the more the journey goes on. Others are trapped in their own dungeons and there is always help at the ready, including Yua because that’s how she’s always been: willing to help others, right?

She was always willing to lend a hand to help another in trouble…but no one ever came for her. Yua had to pull herself out of her dungeon not just once but twice. And yet no one came.

She began to feel hollow. Even while talking with others, she started to feel numb. The one who noticed was Herodachi and after speaking to him, he noticed her eyes looking distant, losing their light and life. He knew what was going on. And it was his words that helped pull Yua back from despair. Not completely but a small step:

“Hey…don’t go Empty on me.”

Just like Cylva when explaining about Ardbert’s reaction upon learning who she was, Yua too was shown care and was undone. She broke down into tears and cried as he hugged her. Despite all of this, Yua’s traumas still remained. She cannot sleep without assistance and when she can sleep, there’s usually nightmares. She fears guns and doctors and hospitals by extension, refusing to be seen unless there is a dire emergency. She wants to be able to die without being brought back, having ideation thoughts of suicide and wondering if she’d find peace that way. She starts to look at Hope as a curse but she can’t bring herself to despair because everyone will depend on her. Her counterparts are typically male and the only counterpart who was in fact female is dead. Was she meant to be? 

Safe to say that Yua suffers from CPTSD due to this…and G’raha’s actions in Shadowbringers sadly made them much worse. Remember the phrase ‘The road to Hell is paved with Good Intentions’ because that’s what happens and the consequences of these actions end up with him leaving in 5.55.

(End of CW)

Fighting Back Against An Idealised Version

One of the biggest reasons why this will never be is that G’raha cannot take off the rose tinted glasses of idol worship. In the recent lorebook, a passage stated that as the Crystal Exarch, he spread the story of someone called the Warrior of Darkness based on Yua from the memoirs from Edmont de Fortemps and his own biases from when he and her went into the Crystal Tower. Certainly it didn't matter that she threw him into a tent when they officially met because he was playing around and hiding the sand she needed in a den full of ixal. Or that Yua only saw him like a co-worker; someone who was fine and that’s it. His plan was basically to summon Yua to the First, let her hold a ton of tainted Light until the right moment where he can try to be a Big Damn Hero and take all the nasty aether along with himself and die.

In his eyes, Yua Narukami can do no wrong. She is strong, kind, sweet, caring, and cannot do any wrong. To him, she has no problem that she cannot overcome. She’s the Warrior of Light after all, the pinnacle of heroism. To G’raha Tia, Yua is Perfect. And how does his hero take this mindset?

Very badly.

During every single interaction before Rak’tika, Yua acts antagonistic because he keeps trying to change the subject, always hiding something. He acts like he’s apologetic for the Scions’ predicament but Yua refuses to hear it. After all, how could she trust a man who kept her in the dark and refused to show under his cowl? From the get go, Yua refuses to be anything like an ally to him, bringing up during their first Occular meeting that he’s not being nice but rather trying to not fuck up more. When G’raha says that he hopes that there is some form of trust between them after telling her the troubles of the First, Yua wasn’t having it.

"No, I don't trust you at all because you're practically holding people hostage and I got no choice in the matter."

Besides the idol worship, she absolutely hates her ability to make a choice and her bodily autonomy taken away. While yes he does say something along the lines of ‘you don’t have to do this’, there’s no other option. Just the illusion of one.

Yua usually cuts through the bullshit and will say things as she sees them; this is why she never gets involved in politics because she knows she’s bad at them. Any kind of potential idol worship she sees from him, Yua quickly shoots it down until she sees the results of it after Innocence’s fight and G’raha’s attempt at sacrifice. In fact, she managed enough strength to call him a ‘fucking coward’ and that distraction was enough for Emet to use the Gun Spell. The kicker is that moment pissed her off not just because of the idol worship but what his ‘heroic sacrifice’ showed her: a hollow message.

His words meant nothing because Yua attempted to try and understand him after Rak’tika, asking what motivates him but he side stepped her questions. When the ascian Emet-Selch was more upfront with her, Yua trusted him more. Even to the point of falling in love with him despite knowing what will happen. It pained her to kill Emet but she knew it needed to be done because no one else can save the fucking universe it seems.

G’raha’s sacrifice would be hollow to Yua, especially since she has seen several others back in a shadow world stand against a death goddess. And to keep Yua safe, each of them pushed her aside and took the hits meant for her. She watched them get dragged to Yomi and die. The friends she shared meals with, fought alongside with, talked to every day, celebrated festivals with, made a genuine connection with…that caused her pain and made her flashback. And it made her more angry because G’raha basically spat on the memory of her dear friends.

Yua only rescued him because he needed to send the Scions back home but outside of that, she couldn’t give a shit less about him. And why should she after everything he put her through like holding all that tainted Light and messing her body up more, doing things that brought back traumatic memories and triggering her cptsd? Hearing about his time travelling in order to save this timeline and mostly her? Boy howdy was she reminded of those Moebius time loops. She refused to talk to him outside of any Scion meetings because she didn’t want to break down and get triggered every single time, instead trying to take care of herself. But her breaking point and the Point of No Return was after fighting Elidibus in his Warrior of Light form.

You’re Not Meant For This Place. Don’t You Dare Grow Here

When Yua learned what Elidibus was, her plan was to defeat him and make sure he returned to the star and rest. Also because a primal being loose is not a good thing as most know by now. Because of her own circumstances and thoughts on death, she thought it was best. It sounded like it was going to go that way…until G’raha did a Very Big Stupid Thing by announcing that he was going to seal Elidibus in the Crystal Tower and make him power it until he is no more. It’s a Very Big Stupid Thing because to Yua, it’s absolutely cruel to force someone that shouldn’t stay to be used as a battery. Not only that but saying that he was going to trap the ascian made her flashback back to her own trapped life in her dungeon back in Liminal. She refused to let it happen and she tried to stop him but unfortunately, G’raha was quicker and casted Break on her. It lasted long enough for Yua to witness Elidibus being trapped and the one responsible still standing. Well, close enough since the magic ended up costing his body to rapidly turn to crystal. Seeing the horror and pain in Yua’s eyes, he tried to speak up but he only got a look of pure disgust and silence. This was the final straw for her as she felt a deep ache, a familiar gnawing at her soul…a numbness. She had witnessed G’raha Tia at his worst and Yua was not going to answer to him at all. Instead, she turned her back to him, quite literally and left him to turn to crystal all alone. Yua in pain could only think of one thing even in silence:

Suffer.

Yua’s heart grew cold that moment and the Scions noticed quickly when Lyna handed her G’raha’s crystal vessel and asked her to keep it safe on the journey home. Yua in turn responded bluntly and with venom that if she didn’t have a soft spot and cared about Lyna, she’d smash the damn thing. It was looking into Yua’s eyes that made Lyna not say anything, seeing the pain…seeing the light dim. His actions made Yua relive her fears, her worst moments and how could she talk to the Scions about them when they never knew she was from another universe? The only one who had any inkling was Krile and that was more of a forced thing back in Eureka. 

Once everyone was back on the Source, Yua simply left G’raha’s crystal vessel to Krile and told her to do what she wished with it. She was going to take no part of what happened next and she was right. She didn’t want to see the face of the man who kept hurting her, even in the name of the greater good. It was bullshit and Yua would have shut herself in her house if it wasn’t for someone she had met while exploring Rabanastre and learning about Ivalice: Misija. Instead of the MSQ during 5.4 and 5.5, Yua was in Bozja helping Misija with understanding her ancestor’s role and to stop Misija’s former legion comrades from taking over. Didn’t mean they cared about the resistance but they had to work with them for their goals. It was during this campaign that Yua became more brutal on the battlefield, including breaking limbs of several Bozjan Resistance members who were nobles due to overhearing them belittle Misija and her origins. The other resistance members feared her but said nothing because this was the Warrior of Light and who knows what would happen if anyone pissed her off. Let’s just say thank god that Yua had both Misija and Estinien in her corner to pull her out of that despair.

It was because of them that Yua finally managed to gather her courage to do two things:

-Tell the Scions that she was Not Okay

-Challenge G’raha to a brawl

That second one is what I’m going to focus on for this since it does involve him. This may have sounded like something Yua shouldn’t do but she realized that using her words wasn’t going to be enough; sometimes you have to beat up a simp hard enough so they have to listen. And that’s what she did, even as he refused at first. But Yua wasn’t going to let him go until they settled things. No, she was going to make sure he sees and hears what she has to say. What happened was constant fighting back and forth with both weapons and words, both of them saying what they felt was right. G’raha tells her that he had no purpose, no hope, and did everything to make sure that the Source and the First wouldn’t fall and kill more people. That his life had no meaning and sacrificing himself would have been the best call. Only for Yua to tell him that she wouldn’t have seen him as such. Heroic sacrifices to her are never heroic nor are they noble; it’s just something to make the person feel good before they become food for the worms. Besides, if she can’t die, he gets no pass to fucking give up because of depression. 

After all, she’s had thoughts of wanting to end it all. She’s gone through so many horrors and yet people expect her to grin and bear it. She’s the fucking hero after all, a godsdamned IDOL. Who the hells does this pathetic man think he is?! And she tells him that she will never forgive him for what he’s done to her. She would leave the Scions if it came to it because fuck being in the same space as the man who hurt her and being told to smile and nod and be happy.

No. 

Fuck. That.

After this, G’raha does leave the story and stays as a Scion in the field. Yua never sees him again. Although I can’t say the same for other characters but that’s for another time.

I’ve constantly fought with myself since Endwalker’s release to figure out what kind of relationship would Yua and G’raha have. Would I follow canon? Would Yua be able to forgive him? Could they be civil? But the more people asked me about her story and seeing a lot of wolqotds on Twitter about the themes of their WoLs, I kept answering that Yua’s main theme was about Healing. Not really in the physical sense but rather her being able to open up about her traumas, being able to speak about her fears and make connections again like she did as a teenager. There’s no cure to CPTSD but having a good support system might help her in the right direction. I bet some who are reading this might be asking about forgiveness being needed to heal and move on. That in order to love, one needs to let go and forgive the one who wronged them. However, this is Yua’s story and in her case, she doesn’t need it. Forgiveness is earned and it’s not up to the person who wronged her but up to Yua. Being unable to forgive is not an evil thing. She has moved on and is slowly letting go of the pain G’raha caused by being able to talk about it and express her own feelings. She takes what she has learned and tries to do the things like communicate with people about her thoughts and feelings.

Yua feels loved with her group of friends and loves and small family. She felt seen and heard and not given empty reassurances. She didn’t need to forgive someone who has hurt her to move on and feel like a person again. Someone does not need to forgive the people who have hurt them in order to move on and live a better life. Healing also means doing what is best for the person, including self-love and not offering forgiveness. And it’s something Yua is finally able to do.

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

this is part 2 of my extremely long lore update of my missing month in tumblr. here's part 1 <3

i'll also put this one behind the cut just in case

26. we start when this extremely important event happened !!!

THEY'RE PLAYING 'MÚSICA LIGERA' IN THE SUPERMARKET

[there is a lyric in música ligera [go listen to it. or else] that goes 'la música de fondo en los supermercados' so 'the background music at the supermarkets']

27. when spring officially started and suddenly life was bearable once again

28. the sequel.

bomb the ucm [yes. i tweeted the exact same thing]

24 nearly 25 years old and i just learned how to sign stuff with the electronic certificate. i want to shoot my foot i can't do this anymore

the thing is today i've been 3 hours calling the same 4 fucking numbers every 10 minutes only for them to tell me 'hahah everything you did last week is useless lol. but don't worry the deadline is thursday you still have time :)' [this was on a tuesday btw]

the world if the digital certificate and autofirma didn't exist

so yeah. everything i did on march 15th was useless. lol. i sent proof of my physical deposit of the application and they told me i couldn't <3. in the end i had to sign it digitally through a different administrative process and lol. i hate bureoucracy so fucking much.

28. i do love taylor swift but yeah

the eras tour: bellodrama tour:

-without ana mena -with ana mena

-52728€ tickets -22€ tickets

-she doesn't sing 'las 12' -she sings 'las 12'

the choice is yours

29. it's time for the 'hole in the bedroom' arc <3

[pic 1]

today my bedroom disappears

it wasn't a joke

[pic 2]

do you like my new setup?

SO. i honestly can't remember if i said this here but idk almost a month ago now i guess some of my floorplanks strated to lift. out of nowhere. so we called people to look into it and there was a water leak. so they had to dismantle my bed (you can see the frame in the lighter floorboards lol) and now i sleep in the attic; a room my dad has always used to hoard stuff <3 yesterday they filled the hole so that's nice, but now they have to slash the floor and for that they need all of the furniture gone. my house is basically just a long hallway so there just isn't enough space. it's gonna be fun :) oh and also we've decided to paint the room while we're at it. so i'll probably won't be able to sleep here for at least a month i imagine. this is my current setup btw, i'm writing this from here:

30. this one's a preamble of what's to come. i'm so sorry.

me: existing at any moment

my brain: i think it's time to play 'me he pillao x ti' on a loop

[now it's doing the same but with 'un clásico' <3]

31. ANA MENA WORLD DOMINATION DAY

i'll do the small tweets first and then go in chronological through pics 5, 6, and 7

GOOD DAY

the way i know for a fact that 'me he pillao x ti' would've appeared on skam españa s2 if the show had been made now

if i am already annoying with ana mena the day i fall for someone i'll be incredibly unbearable i want y'all to know it

i want ana mena to know she's changed lives today

[pic 6]

the pause in the first listen of bellodrama to listen on loop to 'me he pillao x ti' is so real actually

no words with 'un millón de lunas'

MENAmoro [i fall in love]... her mind

ana mena has made me want to go out and party for the first time in my life i can't

[pic 7]

why all songs in bellodrama have their titles with the first letter capitalized Like This except Tomorrow god Will Say? what is she trying to tell us

reply to the tweet: atheist legend

[pic 8]

i didn't choose to be anamenista i only was lucky

ana mena you gave us everything

ana mena you are the pop artist of this generation. you are everything and you are summer and the sun and margaritas. you give everything and you're the best.

i love you ana mena

32. i went back to working on my fantasy book :)

i am gonna try working on my fantasy book after more than half a year. wish me luck.

665 words #slay

33. i know you missed me talking about fictional shows that don't even exist but here you go

i need there to exist some kind of glee españa specifically so a character can sing this song to their crush and i can finish losing my mind

33. this is the last ana mena post I SWEAR

(chronologically)

half of the views are mine

the way i hadn't listened to it before the album dropped and now i'm OBSESSED

34. la caixa incident

can someone explain to me how la caixa, a catalan business, is telling me to send them documents in english for the scholarship??

so yeah. the sent me an email telling me they needed some documents in english i had sent them in spanish (which lol) and after doing so proceeded to accept my application :) apparently it's a pretty fucking good scholarship so i'm a bit hopeful i'll be able to make it <3

35. places i've been to in spain!

i know i have to visit the north more i know

36. my most listened to songs in march 💀

37. MANDATORY MEMORIAS DE IDHÚN TWEET THAT IS SCARILY ACCURATE TO MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

i am fascinated with the fact that one day laura gallego wrote three fat ass books projecting herself into a unicorn girlie that's involved with two dudes without knowing that with them she would forever change the brain chemicals of a new generation of spanish writers

38. and that's it :)

PEOPLE I GOT BACK MY TUMBLR ACCOUNT WE WON