#also i'd just love to pick their brain because they are so clever and good with these characters

[angeldaisies]

there's this fic on the tlh ao3 page that i've been absolutely obsessed with the past few months and above all else i wish i could find a way to talk to the author because the comments i leave on their fic every week do not feel enough i need to personally tell them how much their fic means to me

[sitp-recs]

top 10 drarry fics by the sheer force of the feels they gave you? not necessarily good feels! things you remember primarily because they hit hard in some way.

obviously, i'd also love to hear exactly how/why they hit hard if you're up for sharing that!

Oh that’s such a wonderful ask, thank you! I’m sorry for the late reply, the 10 fics came easily bc whenever I see those titles I get immediately transported back to where I was and what I felt reading them for the first time. But putting into words what exactly makes them heartkick-y for me was a bit more challengeging. It’s usually a “when you feel it you know it” kind of thing (and quite literally too, as sometimes it manifests as an actual physical reaction!) but more often than not the fic just clicks for me and there’s no rationale behind it. As Clarice Lispector said: “I suppose that understanding myself is not a question of intelligence but of feeling. It either touches you, or it doesn't."

Anyhoo, I tried my best to keep this short and sweet but since I’ve written individual recs for almost all these fics, I thought I’d include them too :) thanks again, this was super fun! And I’d love to read about your picks as well 👀

An Emerald In The Sky by corvuscrowned | my rec

it doesn’t get more romantic than star-crossed lovers doomed by time travel!!!! (see also: my thoughts on The Eighth Tale by lettered). this is my brand of melancholy, something about the constant yearning, the beauty of stolen moments in liminal space, the unfairness of it all… ugh

Far From the Tree by aideomai | my rec

fft has altered my brain chemistry and ruined me forever with its tender devastation, I had such a visceral reaction to it - to the point of feeling dizzy and feverish. a simple time travel concept (this is my kryptonite istg) but the epic storytelling! the gratification! the bittersweet ending! rereading it would kill me but what a way to go

Forgive Those Who Trespass by Lomonaaeren

easily one of the most haunting and terrifying fics I’ve ever read, one jumpscare after the other but so creative and well-written I was too busy collecting my jaw from the floor to talk myself out of it lol

Little Compton Street by writcraft | my rec

as a queer woman, this one feels extremely personal and is very dear to my heart. I’ll never forget the emotions I felt learning about queer history and finding a sense of peace and belonging. lcs feels like coming home 🏳️‍🌈

Little Red Courgette by blamebrampton

this was my first bb fic and their sense of humor just blew my mind. I was so impressed by the smooth world building, by their wit and clever political commentary. I just couldn’t stop laughing. the dialogue is so good it makes me wanna weep, I can’t explain how much joy and comfort this fic gave me

Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways by lordhellebore

full disclosure: my reading experience was shaped by the fact that I didn’t realize the tagged disability would be major and permanent 🤡 by the time I noticed I was so emotionally invested I couldn’t stop. one of the most painful reads I’ve ever endured, worth it tho

Running on Air by eleventy7 | my rec

introspective fics are my jam and this one was just what I needed while working through some shit at a turning point in my life. so I guess it was more about finding the right fic at the right time, and I’m hit by mixed feelings of catharsis and nostalgia every time I revisit roa.

Still Life (orphaned) | my rec

my definition of a perfect shortfic. gorgeous prose, flawless execution, the “nothing is happening but everything is changing” vibes I live for, one of the best Harry pov I’ve ever read and an ending that always makes me gasp in awe. few authors can write complex emotions so effortlessly as seefin, absolute masterclass

Super Rich Kids by trishjames | my rec

criminally underrated, this story broke my heart but also gave me such a THRILL. I usually avoid substance abuse in fic but something about Draco’s spiral journey felt so raw it kept me at the edge of my seat. devastating but also a surprisingly funny and exciting thriller. the range!!!

The Long Fall by tackytiger | my rec

as someone who’s never been into kid fic and family dynamics, this was a punch on the solar plexus and rearranged my whole view about this trope. I was deeply moved by Harry’s longing for a family of his own and despite not having or wanting kids, this still felt really cathartic and changed me in a way I can’t quite explain.

[shadowcats4]

I think I'll just have to shit post after every episode I watch. It's only two now:(

Oskar: So how's it going?

Hausmann: What?

Oskar: How are you?

Hausmann: *stutters confused*

Oskar: How's your wife?

Hausmann: Uh, I'm not married, sir.

I generally had to pause here because my mum, my sister and I all burst out laughing at Oskar's complete fail at trying to be friendly and warming up to Hausmann so he can ask him a favour. I know the feeling, I'm also not good at being sociable, Oskar. Better luck next time. (Although I do generally rather keep quiet than embarrass myself.)

And Max's parents are actually quite adorable. All caring and protective. Don't cause trouble, be good. Then they leave and Max and Leah take a great sigh of relief.

And Leah is a complete icon. She is really really cool. Sassy, sarcastic - amazing:) Keep your little brother out of trouble. He's the one that still acts like he's 12.

"No, I wouldn't think it at all awkward that there's a thing between my sister and my professor. No problem at all. Happens all the time."

All of Oskar's interactions with the pick pocket guy were funny too. The first time, he's with Theresa and is suddenly embarrassed that he was so harsh and even straightens his coat. Oh, you stole my wallet and were going to run off with it, but my girlfriend is stood there so I'll just take it back and adjust your coat because I pulled you up by the collar and was going to charge you. But yknow. My girlfriend. :)

And the second time, Oskar's reaction to being suddenly grabbed by the shoulder is to exclaim, but sort of casually: What the hell? (But in an Austrian accent, naturally. (Which gives me flashbacks to Yonderland hehe))

The pick pocket: I have information of a crime

Oskar: *after a few tries of being convinced* Don't waste my time

It's not that simple. It's never that simple. Don't you know you're in a crime drama?! It's going to come back and bite you in the arse whatever you do.

And the American senator. He was- erm. An interesting character. He was clever. When Oskar was in his office(?) after he'd been attacked.

Senator: I was in my rooms all the time. I have someone that can vouch for me.

*his butler or assistant (or whoever he was) walks in*

Oskar: *stares for a solid 2 minutes trying to comprehend the gay thoughts running through his mind with his shirt half unbuttoned and a streak of blood still coming from his nose*

Broski lost some braincells when he got struck with the truncheon. You could see the cogs in his brain whirring like: You- and- and him? You're a thing? That's- *mind drifts to someone else*

Also notice how when Max got punched in the face(s2 ep1), Oskar asked what happened and Max felt obliged to tell him, but when Max asked, Oskar simply waved it away and that was that.

May I also mention that Oskar has a nose made of steel or something? For example in season 1, episode 1 where Otto Braun slammed the door in his face and the soldier guy (season 1 episode 2) where the soldier hit Oskar on the back of the head and he fell straight over onto his face on a cobbled street and went out cold for a good 12 hours? And then season 3 episode 3 when the stalking guy hits Oskar with a truncheon straight across the face (you can see the marks after) and on the back of the head. Again he falls onto a cobbled street.. Oskar sure has a thick skull. Meant in the kindest way possible:)

There were soooo many people lurking around in that episode too. Hausmann, the guy stalking the senator, Oskar. They're all hiding in shadows, watching, following, breaking into awkward jogs if you're Oskar..

Don't get me started on Theresa. I know people don't ship them on here. Or maybe they do and nobody's said anything? Anyway I think that they're an adorable couple and Oskar really did seem to like her and they were getting along fine. She made him cake and "by the sweetness.. *smirks* I'd say she's head over heels in love with you"

Then she goes and has a husband.. I mean Hannah though. She was really cute. And she liked Oskar too.

"Oskar!" *slaps a puddle with a stick* "Oskar!" He kind of waves that wave that all Austrian people do to children.

And Ida. Comes down the stairs, Max kisses her hand, yknow the formalities. Max introduces her to Oskar who simply takes her hand and shakes it, "Pleased to meet you." She looks a little... offended? But then, "I didn't know you had such handsome friends." Right in front of Oskar's girlfriend. Max is just like "Yeah I was starting to think the same"

Is it me or is all that Van Bülow does is drink tea or whisky while trying and failing to be the one in charge. Simply because Oskar slays. And could probably do the job better, but that would mean he would be the one sitting around on his arse all day and frankly Bülow does it better. He can talk about getting his 'Allerwertesten' ( is German for arse. I watched an episode in German on YouTube and basically Bülow used the German way of saying 'get your arse into gear') moving.

Have I gone insane? Maybe. Could I write twenty more 1000 word long essays about Vienna Blood and the interaction between characters. Probably. And another twenty more.

But this will do for now;)

Do I like Vienna Blood? Worse:) I am obsessed. In the best way possible.

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @mysticstarlightduck!

OC Deep Dive 🦾🎀

Let's do a two for one with Astra and Mashal :)

What uncommon/common fear do they have?

Hm, that's a tough one. Astra doesn't scare easily when it comes to physical things. I'd say failure is a big fear of hers, or letting down the people she loves.

It's bugs. Ignoring all the existential stuff, Mashal is terrified of bugs. Spiders especially, but anything that crawls makes him uncomfortable. The other big one is losing his humanity.

Do they have any pet peeves?

People who talk down to her will set Astra off like a firecracker. She's had more than enough of that in her time. People who are willing ignorant also piss her off, especially if that ignorance hurts others.

As a former army brat, Mashal does get a little tetchy around messy spaces. He won't get on people about it, but he will clean up unprompted. He also can't stand bullies or anyone who hurts people for their own gain.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

A full chemistry set, lots of scrap fabric, and way too many fancy pillows.

He doesn't sleep, so he doesn't have a bedroom, but if he did, it would have a sketchbook, some candles he can stare at while meditating, and a few practice swords hung on the wall.

What do they notice first in a person?

Their clothes, I'd say. Astra can tell a lot about a person by what they wear and how they care for their garments. Also, their sense of fashion can be telling.

I think as an artist, Mashal picks up on unique features first. A crooked jaw, especially beautiful eyes, an unusual expression - anything that makes someone stand out. Consequently, he's also just good at remembering faces in general.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

A six, but she thinks it's a nine. She also carries the fantasy equivalent of those berserker mushrooms at all times, so if she's hurt, she'll do drugs about it and keep going.

He has no sense of pain as a robot, but if he's ever returned to his human form, it's gonna be a rude awakening the first time he stubs his toe on something.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? (I'm also including freeze and fawn)

It kinda depends. If her friends are with her, she'll tend towards fight. If she's alone though, she often freezes up.

Fight, all the way. In moments of stress, Mashal's brain will all but shut off as he starts swinging.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

Astra's family is just her and her two moms, but she loves them dearly. Every cent she makes goes towards paying off their debtor contracts, and she writes them frequently.

Mashal doesn't remember his family. He assumes his parents are alive and he's pretty sure he has an older brother, but anything more than that is a mystery. He hopes to find them someday once he's human again.

What animal represents them best?

I'm tempted to go with a black cat solely because she's a witch, but I feel like she's more high energy than that. In that case, maybe some sort of monkey? Clever, curious, loud, and a little vicious.

A horse, I think. Some sort of retired warhorse that likes to run and nuzzle your hair, but will kick if you get too close.

What is a smell that they dislike?

Formaldehyde. It gives her headaches.

He has no sense of smell :(

Have they broken any bones?

Yup. She broke her arm at the end of book one and has broken a few fingers in the past when she wasn't careful enough with her tinkering.

He has no bones :(

(Mashal doesn't remember, but as a boy, he did fracture his skull when he fell down a flight of stairs. He also broke the same ankle twice during sparring. His squad did tease him for this.)

How would a stranger likely describe them?

"Oh gods, what an outfit she had! I don't think I've ever seen that many colors on one garment, and she must've sewn half the ribbons from here to Yewbury into the lining. The embroidery was fantastic. It was loud enough you hardly noticed the woman wearing it. She was pretty short, I think. I wanna say she was mixed Skolander and Shuari, given the dark curls and blue eyes. Her skin was kind of an amber brown, but she had these pale splotches under her eyes and mouth. Vitiligo, I think? Her makeup was also quite loud, but somehow matched the outfit. There was just a lot going on there, in general."

"Damn, I don't think I've ever seen a robot in these parts. The fucker was huge, had to be close to seven feet tall. Kinda scary looking, to be honest, with those glowing white eyes. But, I don't know, he seemed nice. His face didn't seem like it moved much, but he looked like he was smiling. He was wearing very heavy clothing with a bandana over his head. The only bronze uncovered was his face and hands. I would've thought he was sick in the head wearing such heavy clothes in this heat, except, well, I guess a robot wouldn't care about that."

Are they a night owl or an early bird?

Very much a night owl, verging on actual insomnia. Getting up before 11 is a herculean trial.

He doesn't sleep, but if he did, he'd be an early bird. Man is ready for bed at 9:30 sharp.

What is a flavour they hate and a flavour they love?

Astra hates the taste of rice. As a kid, that was basically all she had to eat in the summers and she would frequently come down with pellagra because she was so malnourished. A flavor she loves is barbecue. She's from the fantasy south, so I think this one is self-explanatory.

He has no sense of taste, but from vibes alone, he knows he definitely has a sweet tooth.

Do they have any hobbies?

Really, she's good with any type of fiber art, but Astra loves to embroider. All her clothes sport little bits of embroidery. I'm also going to say magic because she loves it even though it's her job.

Mashal enjoys art, usually with a pencil, but he branches out into paint sometimes. He also likes to read. Any genre is fine, so long as it's fiction and not too dark. I feel like he'd love anime if it existed on Illaros for some reason.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

She'd definitely jump, then complain about why it had to be a secret because she already knew what she wanted to do for her birthday. Even so, she would be very appreciative of the effort.

Mashal has no idea when his birthday is, so it'd be a double surprise for him if someone popped out and declared that today's the day. After making sure they're not just fucking with him, he'd get quite teary (not actually, but the vibe is there), thank them profusely, and spend the rest of the night being told to sit down and quit trying to take care of things, this is your party, damnit!

Do they like to wear jewelry?

Yes. Astra always has some earrings on and frequently wears rings and bracelets. Most of this is costume jewelry.

Gold jewelry is very important in Sulu'Okan culture, so he definitely would, he just can't afford any right now.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Surprisingly neat. She writes in full, founding father cursive.

Surprisingly messy. He tends towards chicken scratch.

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Indignation and the desire to help.

Protectiveness and fury.

Do they have a favourite fabric?

Astra could rank every fabric ever on a numbered scale, but I think her all-time favorite is satin.

He honestly has no opinion on this, so he'd probably just say satin also. My man doesn't know burlap from chiffon, give him a break.

What kind of accent do they have?

Lol, read any of her dialog and it's obvious. Astra has a strong southern accent, more similar to a Georgia drawl than some Texas twang.

Honestly, Mashal is my one character that I feel has no accent (aka same accent as me), so I guess upper south. He does speak very softly, though, and has a bit of a stutter at times. His voice also tends to go static when he yells.

I'll tag @willtheweaver @theink-stainedfolk @kaylinalexanderbooks @nczaversnick @watermeezer and anyone else who wants to play :)

[zoeykallus]

Hey. I absolutely love your stuff. I keep rereading it all. It's wonderful.

I have this idea and it won't go away. So, reader is just casually conversing with their respective batcher. Or just lovingly admiring them from a distance. Anyway, they just randomly say, "you know, I don't like your name. I think you should change it." And when they ask what, reader says "mine", and then just walks away.

I can see Tech or Echo going from hurt to flustered, or Cross from annoyed to smug.

This can be before or after they get together, and bonus points if it leads to some extra fluff or even smut.

Either all batchers, or one of the three above. Also, female or gender neutral please. I wanna know your take on this idea.

You're doing a wonderful job. Keep up the good work! Thank you!

Aloha!

I think I know where this is supposed to be going, I just don't know if this can work with a person that has no last name/surname. But let me see if I can make it work. Would you mind if I pick a One-shot with Tech?

Tech x Fem!Reader One-shot - I Don't Like Your Name

Fluffy/Flustered Tech

______________

For a while now you've been watching the guys from Bad Batch, occasionally you've worked with them. One of them in particular has taken your fancy, Tech, the pilot. He is different from the rest, calmer, more intelligent, more introverted.

He has quite an extraordinary mind, and yet he is incredibly oblivious when it comes to flirting. But maybe, you think, he just isn't interested and therefore doesn't respond to the flirting attempts.

It's time to find out.

You see him standing in the hangar working on the Marauder's outer hull. For a while you watch him thoughtfully from a distance, finally you walk up to him and speak to him.

"Hi Tech!"

He looks up from his work in surprise and nods at you.

"Hi. What brings you down here? Does Cid have another job for you that requires collaboration?"

You shake your head and say, "No, I was just passing by, saw you working and thought I'd say hello."

He blinks.

"Nice gesture."

Tech is about to turn back to his work when you tell him, "Somehow I don't like your name."

He pauses for a second, but then continues working and replies without looking at you, "My name suits me, I'm happy with it."

"Doesn't sound like much, though. Just 'Tech'"

He frowns, you can tell he's annoyed, but he remains calm nonetheless.

"What kind of name would be more appropriate, in your opinion?"

"Mine."

Tech turns to you and looks at you critically, "Your name wouldn't suit me."

"Why not?"

"It's a woman's name"

You smirk at him and say as you get ready to move on, "I meant my last name, Tech"

The reaction you get is once again different than you hoped or expected.

His brow is furrowed questioningly as well as critically.

"Clones don't have last names, I can't change my last name because I don't have one."

You stop, sigh, and turn back to him.

"Well, you are a clever fellow my dear, think hard, in what way could you possibly get my last name?"

Tech shakes his head, "Not at all, unless…. Oh."

He blinks several times, as if he needs to reboot his brain. You see his cheeks blush slightly, and a smile appears on your face, he had finally understood. You think.

"You're proposing to me?"

"Exac- wait what…?"

Now it's you who blinks.

Tech says, "Interesting. Even though I'm curious, and a certain attraction factor is very much present, I have too little knowledge of your person to respond appropriately to this proposal. However, I do have a suggestion, a temporary compromise, so to speak."

"Um, oh yeah?"

"Yes. Would you perhaps be interested in going through a get-to-know-you phase before we explore this topic in more detail?"

You feel yourself getting warm and not at all as confident as before.

"You mean dating?", you ask softly.

Tech nods, "That's the general term for it if I'm not mistaken, yes. Are you free tonight?"

Your heart beats up in your throat all at once.

"I-uhm, yes"

Tech smiles, a very beautiful and rare sight.

"Fine. Meet me back here at eight? I'd love to take you out"

"Okay, I'll be here at eight," you say quietly, still not quite able to believe yourself what just happened.

As you walk away again, you feel like you're walking on clouds. Your heart races, your stomach tingles. Tech has taken your cheeky flirting attempt out of your hands and asked you out. You're not sure if that was really a misunderstanding or if he had played you, but either way, you're very happy right now.

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaws

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@starwarsnerd111

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S03E13 - Mansion on a Hill - PART A

With that name, I'd expected a more horror-like episode. Bloody, or something like that. But it does not disappoint. I have a few thought about the ending but it's a good episode regardless.

Black letters in quotes: Actual show quotes.

Green letters in quotes: What I come up with my twisted up brain.

"And this must be the legendary coworker that she keeps talking about." You can almost see Sarah's soul leaving her body.

Oh, poor Charlie.

Don't laugh, you two. I'm sure Fiona did this as payback because Sarah hasn't stopped talking to her about Charlie for the last two years, by the way.

Yeah, no, definitely stay away from this one. She will eat you alive.

"Sorry about the glass. The cheap ones are slippery." Oh, shut up.

"Love a man in a uniform." Wow. Just wow. He's not even in uniform???

We're actually lucky she wanted to do the crime in a subtle way because she had the opportunity to stab Sarah right there and then make a run for it. Hmm, this is giving me ideas, though...

That's when she poisoned the wine! Why am I only figuring it out now?

And then Sarah puts down her drink, Fiona picks it up and voila. Again, I can't help thinking of what would have happened if Sarah had drunk from it as intended. I imagine Charlie would have gone feral one season earlier.

The way they set this up is quite clever, actually.

I wouldn't call these two to any dinner parties. They bring misfortune.

"Naloxone in your kit?" Why would she have her kit with her in the first place?

Is she really your best friend if you haven't tried to resuscitate her at least once?

I know what you two are thinking. More work.

"She's your best friend. You okay?" "Let's fix this. And then you can ask me that question." And we'll be there to see it, right? RIGHT?

Joe: "Charlie, I thought this was your night off." Charlie: "It is but we visited one of Sarah's friends." Joe: "Say no more."

Joe: "We've got a bit of a skeleton crew here tonight". It's literally you and Jesse.

Jesse being like oh man I got plans tonight but as soon as Joe tells him Charlie, Sarah, and Rex are in trouble he immediately takes off his scarf looking all worried... Family.

This is the most uncooperative bunch of witnesses/suspects I've seen in this show. Also, this is the actual Knives Out episode.

Charlie: "Okay everyone. You're worried about Fiona and you're worried... *pause as he looks around at what kind of people he actually has in front of him* about yourselves."

How does someone get a citation for littering?

Why would anyone want something like this in their house? It's not even nice to look at.

You know, Sarah needed a hug the entire episode, Charlie.

"Vicodin. This is an opioid like Fentanyl". And I think that's where their similarities end. What is your point? Fiona was clearly drugged with Fentanyl, what does Vicodin have to do with it?

"She got me into rehab." "Oh, that worked well." Come on, man, don't be like that.

Joe: "So, first the vending machine eats my five dollars and then it gives me the wrong item. Twice." Jesse: "You should probably tell the boss about that." Joe's look. Also, what the hell, they should have a free commissary or something. Are you telling me that they pay for all those coffees as well?

Jesse: "That'll put hair on my chest." Joe: "I doubt it." lmao

"That fucker dared to cheat on my friend? Give me your gun, Charlie."

Why would he put Fiona's birthday as a password on his burner phone that he uses for his affair? Be for real.

No, this is actually her "I'm going to kill the fucker" look.

You definitely have to be a piece of shit to lock yourself in a room with your affair when your wife is fighting for her life. I don't care what you two were really doing.

I admire Sarah's self-restraint.

"Damn your small human noses, can't you smell that?!?!"

"Rex..." "You're welcome."

I bet Charlie is really glad that he and Rex accompanied Sarah right about now. And I'm not being sarcastic.

Oh, that actually makes me wonder how Sarah invited Charlie to this.

"Bela Lugosi." "Are you having a stroke?" STOP

"Men don't break up with me." Holy shit, lady.

How would Fiona know that the notary had done this to say it?

"Code yellow" no way that's what people call it when their dogs have to pee. Charlie, you're a weirdo.

Rex: "Damn it, I can't even pee in peace. We just have to find bodies everywhere."

Sarah: "Creepy shed at night. Okay. Thanks, pal." Rex: "We're literally here because of you."

Body jumpscare.

To be continued in Part B.

[ofliterarynature]

MAY 2024 WRAP UP

[loved liked ok nope dnf (reread) bookclub*]

(100 Cupboards) • The Brides of High Hill • Factfulness • Derring-Do for Beginners • Feed Them Silence* • The Murder of Mr. Ma • The Well of Loneliness • A Dreadful Splendor • Drowned Country • Arabella the Traitor of Mars • Silver in the Wood • The Warm Hands of Ghosts • Arabella and the Battle of Venus • Endpapers • Song of Blood & Stone

Arabella and the Battle of Venus/the Traitor of Mars (4.5/4 stars) - a great wrap up to the series! Since learning these are *not* actually YA, I do wish they had a bit more depth and complexity, but they moved quickly and were very fun to read. Traitor was perhaps not my favorite of the lot, but like, it's got space battles, it's got relationship drama, it was still fun. Also featuring a small reoccurring cameo by Dr James Barry!

The Warm Hands of Ghosts (5 stars) - I was very impressed by Arden's ability to write with her Winternight trilogy, even if I wouldn't call it a favorite. I was blown away by this! Is it because it plays to some of my interests? Yes, probably. I've been growing more interested in the turn of the century and WW1, and the way she incorporated the supernatural elements was just what I love, not to mention a well-earned, bittersweet ending. I might have to pick up a copy for myself.

Silver in the Wood (4.5 stars) - I liked it! I might have liked it more if it were longer, but definitely a good read. I think Drowned Country (4.5 stars) was also good in its own right, but not quite satisfying as a sequel. If this turned into a supernatural casebook-type series I'd have been delighted.

A Dreadful Splendor (4 stars) - on one hand, I would call this an excellent gothic novel on the grounds that it didn't irritate me and I enjoyed reading it. On the other, I do keep forgetting that I read it. Make of that what you will, but I'd recommend it if it sounds interesting to you!

The Well of Loneliness (4 stars) - I'll be honest, this only gets 4 stars on the strength of the fact that I did like the first part of it. Young Steven, who's odd and strange and confused about herself; a mother who's upset but oblivious to why; a father who understands exactly what's going on but is too afraid to tell his daughter. It was so compelling (and pushed me to tears, it's true). But the latter half...I just didn't understand adult Steven, I'll be honest, I found her very unlikable and I think I missed the point?

The Murder of Mr. Ma (4 stars) - a Sherlock-and-Watson-esq duo in the Chinese immigrant community of 1920's London, with a good helping of martial arts fighting to go along with it. This felt like a perfectly serviceable mystery that I had no problem reading, but I can't say if I found it particularly compelling. I'm not sure I'd be interested in reading further if this becomes a series.

Feed Them Silence (5 stars) - what a punch from such a small book! Even before I finished it (in tears I might add), I was so impressed, this was such a smart and clever book. And the main character, despite clearly being a mess and not the greatest person, was nonetheless incredibly sympathetic and compelling. Fully recommend, I might have to get myself a copy (and with definitely be checking out the author's other work).

Derring-Do for Beginners (5 stars) - wonderful! I'm mad at the brain weasels not cooperating so that it took me over a year to finally read this - any Victoria book is a lovely book (now I just need to tackle Bone Harp). I don't want to repeat the entire write-up I already posted, but wonderful, sweet, major Circle of Magic/Sandry's Book vibes. A good place for people new to Victoria's work to start.

Factfulness (4 stars) - this was regularly recommended by a podcast that, admittedly, I no longer listen to. But I'd already picked up a free copy, and not enjoying the podcast doesn't mean it's not an important book. First point, you should read this in print, it's chock-full of graphs and charts that will add to the experience. Second, there will be a poll/quiz near the beginning and you should take it and record your answers. I listened to this on audiobook and did neither of these things lmao, and it could have been a better experience. Overall, this seems like it could be a very important book for some people, but I'm not sure I'm the target audience - maybe I'm being overconfident, but I'm a generalist! I like patterns! I'm clinging on to the good in the world for dear life to stay sane! I don't think I found the info the authors shared quite as shocking as they seemed to think I should.

The Brides of High Hill (5 stars) - delightful as always! I really want to go back and reread the earlier Singing Hills books before the next one comes out. Maybe even buy my own copies :D

100 Cupboards (4 stars) - reread this for the first time since middle school! A little dated, but it hasn't aged too poorly! It was also so very rural mid/western america, it was amusing. I did find it a little bland, but it's probably fine for kids - I'll have to see how the rest of the series goes, because I absolutely don't remember.

DNF

Endpapers - this *sounds* cool (and has a fantastic cover), so I was thrilled when QLL added it on audio! Unfortunately I picked it up right after The Well of Loneliness and wasn't ready or willing to deal with another sad angsty queer book so soon.

Song of Blood and Stone - Honestly it seemed fine, just a bit more YA and focused on the romance than I was really interested in. Looking at the 3 further books in the series filled me with enough dread that I decided to not waste my time picking this one back up.

[waitingforwinterwinds]

A Clash of Kings - 47 ARYA IX (pages 609-627)

Northmen arrive as prisoners at Harrenhal, and Arya uses her third Name to coerce Jaqen into staging a jailbreak. Jaqen H'ghar leaves the party.

-

"There's ghosts, I know there is. (...) Pia saw something in the buttery last night." Arya made a rude noise. Pia was always seeing things in the buttery. usually they were men.

Ha! well, as long as it's all consensual, more power to her.

"I need a whole tray. Ser Armory is partial to them." Arya hated Ser Armory. "Let's spit on them."

Arya has regained enough of her moxy to be viciously petty. I love that for her. As long as it doesn't get her into trouble.

"And if we did escape, where would we go?" ... "I'm a 'prentice smith, and one day might be I'll make a master armorer... if I don't run off and lose my feet or get myself killed." He turned away from her, picked up his hammer once more, and began to bang. Arya's hands curled into helpless fists. "The next helm you make, put mule's ears on it place of bull's horns!"

Gendry has a good point. The number of guards might be severely reduced, but it's way more than two, they'd be out numbered in a jiffy. And on the very slim chance they did escape, Winterfell is a long way from Harrenhal, across contested countryside with injured men.

Arya's finally getting some of her confidence back, feeling like she can make a difference even if she knows it's all small scale and immediate, and now she's back to feeling helpless because she can't help the men loyal to her family. She's being forced to realise how much of that power she now wields is an illusion, when she's standing so close to what should be a major boon in resources and allies.

I just hope she doesn't do anything rash.

"A girl will weep. A girl will lose her only friend." "You're not my friend. A friend would help me." She stepped away from him, balanced on the balls of her feet in case he threw his knife. "I'd never kill a friend." Jaqen's smile came and went. "A girl might... name another name then, if a friend did help?" "A girl might," she said. "If a friend did help."

two things.

1: so in the show they have this giant room in the back of the House of Black and White which is like a face library right? I don't know if it's canon to the books, but they the show does. And I just thought it would be so awkward if, like, any number of people can borrow a face at the same time and if they get killed while wearing it that's fine, it's still available for others, more like an e-book than a physical copy, with the original kept in the vault UNLESS this sort of situation in which a faceless man is directly tasked to kill one of their identities. Then the face is destroyed and no one ever gets to borrow it again.

I feel like that may not have made a lot of sense. (It also definitely isn't a thing because Arya sees Jaqen later in the show, but that's not the point. Also consider personality hive minds.)

2. Lalu fufufu shabala fabala fabala fabala fabala fabala fabala

If you get that reference: I am so sorry. But it has ruined this scene for me. Arya's out here being clever and my brain skipped sideways and I started cacking.

"I take back the name." ... "The debt is paid," Arya agreed reluctantly. She felt a little sad. Now she was just a mouse again. "A god has his due. And now a man must die." A strange smile touched the lips of Jaqen H'ghar. "Die?" she said, confused. What did he mean? "But I unsaid the name. You don't need to die now." "I do. My time is done."

And now Arya gets to learn that her actions have consequences, and somethings just can't be taken back. I get the feeling this is about to be reflected on a slightly larger scale. This jailbreak is about to go not the way she expected it to.

...Oh? Success? Oh... success. Eeeeewwww, Bolton senior. Blergh.

But she's not telling him her name~ Thank goodness. "If she'd just reveal her self all would be well UwU" WRONG!!! He cannot be trusted! "Leeches purge the bad blood" pfff. That's literally not how that works. but more importantly:

JUSTICE (BY BEAR) FOR YOREN!!!!

The next few posts might be on queue, because the Reader is going away for the weekend. We'll see how that goes.

[secret-third-thing]

DING DONG

'tis i, your secret santa!

i am very excited to work with you and i can't wait to pick your brain for this project - a little birdie told me you're interested in fanfiction, preferably for our fiery power couple neris... 👀

now i'm down for anything but first i'd like to know: what are your favorite tropes? what do you absolutely want to see in your gift fic? and also: ARE YOU AS EXCITED FOR THIS AS I AM??

HEY SANTA!!!! I am finally back from work so I can answer you! In fact, I may have cut out a little early OOPS. Don't tell my boss. or his boss.

I would love to have some fanfic of Neris if that's alright with you! (Honestly, I'd ship Eris with just about anyone, lol)

Before I dig into tropes, I wanna say that I am super easy to please, and I hope that whatever you wind up making is a lot of fun for you because the best creations are ones where you can tell that the creator had FUN!!

Okay fav tropes: enemies to lovers, rivals, forced proximity, fake dating, vegas/drunk weddings, second chance romances, sleeps with everyone but you, fairy tale or myth retellings.

TRULY I love all tropes, even the extra spicy ones. I think as long as it's not 100% miscommunication the entire time, I'm good!

As far as must-haves: BANTER! And make it a little mean. I love the snark from both of them. And scheming. You don't need to bash cassian in the process (unless you feel like it lol), but I love stories that really highlight how clever eris is / how shrewd Nesta is.

Let me know if you want more deets. I am always afraid of being TOO specific

AND HELL YESS I AM VERY EXCITED.

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING SANTAAAAA

[veritas-in-notitia]

Every time I take the shc quiz I end up wrestling with the questions as I go. I’ve decided to start doing it in writing. At the very least it’s writing practice, and I’ll stop retreading old ground with myself every time. If people in your family or community disagree with you, is it hard to act against their wishes?   Family? Sure. Community? No. Even with people I love, the struggle is usually in them not agreeing with me or me not understanding them. Either prove I'm wrong or see it my way, damn it.

I tend to go along to get along in groups, but that’s not the same thing as community. Also it’s boring, but riling things up isn’t worth it most of the time, and the times it is my spouse usually stops me saying anything (which is ironic, because in every other circumstance he’s a troll. he likes to stir the pot with people he knows as a sign of affection). 

(I’m specifically remembering early covid. He had a dental surgery, and we were both masked in the waiting room. Two other people were not masked. One was across the room on her phone, one sitting quietly near us. The person on the phone loudly and proudly proclaims they have no intention of ever wearing a mask because if “god wants me, it’s my time to go.” My head snapped around so fast I probably should’ve gotten whiplash. My mouth opened -- I have no idea what I was going to say, exactly -- and he stepped on my foot. His reason was he didn’t want to have to fight the person on the phone if they got mad at me. I proceeded to give him a diatribe about herd immunity and basic common decency and empathy while occasionally pointedly looking at the quiet unmasked person sitting near us. And then he got called in for his appointment and I went to sit in the hot but unpeopled car.)

 And the actual *communities* I've been a part of -- no, it's not hard to act against their wishes when I'm in a healthy place because they've all been online communities. When I was much younger and craved -- I don't even know. Attention? Validation? I went from having almost no social life to having one entirely online, and I had no real framework for how to act. I was, like any young teen, equal parts wildly cringe and anxiety to be liked. I wanted to be admired. 

I still do! But for being me, thanks. Okay. Enough ramble. Time to pick an answer... which is tough, because they’re all valid answers to the question. 1 and 2 specifically if I’m thinking about family; 3, 4, and 5 for groups and communities, depending on the context.

Yes, because I care about them. 

I care about my people, but that mostly makes me want to be around them and do things for and with them. It doesn't mean I have to agree with them, though I’d prefer to on important subjects. Whether or not I’d defer to them depends on the person, context, and how important the issue is to me. 

As for community, I care about my communities and their mores, but not like that. They don't define me or my choices.

Yes, because you should listen to other people before you act.

Obviously? I mean, I’m not going to take advice on every topic from every person, but I want all relevant opinions before I act, and several of my people are quite clever. I value their input.

Yes, because I have to live with and around them, and they can make my life more difficult with their disapproval.

I have to live with them: I had SO MUCH fight in me when I was younger. Argue argue argue. Stand my ground. Make a fuss. I can't do that anymore. I discovered my ideal situation is calm. I am ape. Give me fruit and hammock and a source of good vibes. So yeah, I generally try to keep the peace. But I don't think I'd call it a moral imperative. It's just easier.

It might be hard, but I've got to do what I think is right.

I try to always do what I think is right. I’m not always correct about what that is, and my mind can be changed, often by myself. I spend a lot of time arguing with myself. My brain is a very busy place.

No, not at all.

For little things, or even middling things, this is the one. I do what I want, unless it impinges on someone else, in which case I usually adjust slightly. For important stuff, moral/ethical issues, it’s harder, because if I care about someone (= they are my people = they are family), then I’m automatically going to consider their input. Answer: is really hard to pick. Do I pick the Community answer (not at all), or the Family answer (yes, because I care about them)? I’m inclined to pick the Community answer simply because this feels like a Badger-filtering question, which leads me to think Community is what it’s asking about despite the “or family.” (Of course, it does say “people in your” -- so it could mean individuals, not groups. But I’m going with my first assumption, because I’m fully aware that I’m massively overthinking at this point.) So then. No, not at all. Next question: When you’re not sure what’s the right thing to do, what do you turn to?

[waterfallofspace]

HI YOU!!!!!! yay yay i want to know 14, 16, 25, and 27! <3

HELLO YOUU~~ hehehe, thrilled to see you here, I have dropped my lonnggg answers under a cut <333

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

Oh my god- All of them!?!?! hahaha, but okay... right now I've been thinking about Elias a lot again... so that request I filled for Poni... I'd love that one~ BUT ALSO- I'd... I'd do anything to see Gojo just wrecked. "A Little Game, A Lot Of Torture" would prooobably be the one I pick, but... literally any with Gojo wrecked would actually destroy me 😭😭

16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles?

I kiiinda answered this is my other one, but I usually try to come up with them once I have a plot/vague outline, but if nothing is hitting right/seems clever or emotion provoking enough, I'll try just writing it and seeing if anything suddenly jumps to mind!

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

Okay- Upset myself like... with how emotional it was? or like, how horrible I felt about the quality? Because yes and yes.

I find that I can get myself emotional sometimes if I go real hard in a fic hahaha~ but also the whole 'upset because it's not working, or I hate how it's coming out' or even after I've posted I think it's trash... yeahhhh that's almost every fic I post hahaha~ I'm deeefinitely really hard on myself, so I barely ever post something I'm actually happy with truly~ But you guys have all been SOOO sweet, and it's been amazing 😭

27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?

I hate to be that person but... all of them. Literally every single one. I always find myself thinking "wow, this is NOT good enough compared to everyone elses, and you're taking a prompt that someone else would do SO much better."

And... much as it might be taboo to say, I'm a validation driven person. It's something I'm working on, but it's just how my brain is wired, so I find it so addicting to care about notes, and so I'm always nervous that "what if this one does worse then another I've posted even though I tried harder on this one." But sooo many of you guys have told me that's not just a me thing, and that means the world to me~~ (you know how much ily guys <333)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASKS SORRY I WAS SO WORDY hehe~ <333

[boggleoflight]

OC tag game

Tagged by: @lookbluesoup Thank you so much! :3 I'll try to stick to FFXIV OCs just to not complicate things because I have like 50000000 and I don't know that I have the brain power to sort and rate all of them rn.

Favorite OC: It's hard to quantify but F'yllis. She's my girl. My angel. My poor punching bag and sweet gem.

Oldest OC: F'yllis was the first!

Newest OC: I think probably Yllis and Ystran's dad, F'brun Nunh. He sort of existed in a vague way earlier but I've only now started actually designing him and having a notion of who he is.

Meanest OC: F'brun lmfao. He's cold to his women and indifferent to most of his children.

Softest OC: Eli Maudlen. Sweet thing.

Most Aloof/Standoffish OC: Probably F'brun again. He's a dickhead.

Dumbest (Affectionate) OC: Aodhagan. <3 He's so stupid gods bless.

Dumbest (Derogatory) OC: Also Aodhagan. Please stop causing property damage.

Smartest OC: F'yllis! She never received a formal education growing up but she was able to self-teach complicated mathematical and magical concepts from a young age, she has a good head for tinkering with complex machinery, she's a highly skilled summoner, and she earned her Archon mark in just a few months despite having never set foot in formal academia before Endwalker. Very good at thinking on her feet and picking up new skills in a pinch.

F'lyndsa is also incredibly intelligent in that she is very shrewd, clever, and good at leadership. A lot of Yllis's problem-solving skills come from watching her.

Horniest OC: I don't talk about him much and I don't know that I'd even consider him particularly horny, but I have an old Moonkeeper OC named Pesca'ra who is one of the few characters I have that aren't some flavour of demi. He's no stranger to picking up women for one-night stands.

OC You'd Bang: F'ystran, hands down. Sexy gruff cat man with a heart of gold, who goes into it with the intent of connecting and being vulnerable and treating his partner(s) with love and conscious consideration. He treats his lovers right, if you can just get past his walls.

OC You'd Be Best Friends With IRL: I'd love to be friends with most of them but I imagine the one I could actually befriend would be Eli, assuming I could get them to open up a bit. I like to think F'yllis and I could be friends but all the things she's interested in would fly right over my head. :')

Tagging: Anyone who would like to do this! I don't know who has/hasn't been tagged so feel free to take it if you haven't yet!

[strayguitarist]

☕🧃🍜🍉🥦🎉🎲🏐🐈‍⬛🌻🌧️🌍😊😈👥🖥️🎬📚🎶

Isn't this cheating? Whatever, let's go. Favorite hot drink: Persian cardamom tea with a few sugar cubes. Nostalgic and comforting.. Favorite cold drink: Mountain Dew White Out. They don't really sell it anymore, but god it's peak. Dish: Soltaani. A Persian dish, one barg kebab and one koobideh kebab served with basmati rice, a grilled tomato and sometimes salad Shirazi! We just.. make the best food. Hands down. If you ever get the opportunity to try Persian food, do not turn it down, you'd miss out on the best experience of your life. Fruit: Me, obvs. Okay but probably red pears!! Veggie: uh.. oh gods.. that's tough.. Potatoes??? Potatoes. Mmm... Holiday: Shaab-e Yalda, Halloween, and Bonfire Night are my favorites, in that order. Hard to pick just one, so there's my top 3! Game: Fuck. This is far too broad for me to pick, so I'm going to specify video games, and say Splatoon 2 and its Octo Expansion. That's the only game I got so into that I went to official sanctioned tournaments, and my god the story and setting of Octo Expansion still rings in my head as it did the day I finished it. Runners up include RockBand 3, Pokemon Silver and TF2.

Sport: Football! Er, soccer. It's very very popular back home, and it's the only physical sport that I got into growing up. I'd probably try it again if trans-friendly groups existed..

Animal: Me! Okay, rats. I adore rats so so much and I miss having them and they go "sqk sqk chitter" and give you licks n kisses and ask for attention and cuddle so good and aaaAAAA!!! in second place is the animal my sona is based on, the Asiatic Cheetah

Flower: IDK if it counts as a flower, but the pitcher plant is my favorite. God they're so cool, a carnivorous plant!! If I absolutely have to pick a flowering plant, Atropa Belladonna, also known as "Deadly Nightshade." God the flowers are beautiful, and it's poisonous!

Weather: Rain. I adore when it's raining so hard that you can't see past your face, I love hearing it pitter patter against all the surfaces around me, I love the smell that rises from the ground, I love the way life slows down for it.. Place: Home. Iran. Shiraz, specifically. Nobody is surprised. Blorbo: Ah.. What's a blorbo? Kind of favorite character from a franchise, I think? That doesn't make it much easier, though.. Probably Moxxie from Helluva Boss. Please don't hate me for this. Meow Meow: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Unless you just want me to... Mrrowr~! Nyaa~... Mrrrr.. Meowwr! Prrrh....

OTP: Not sure if I'm 100% on what this means but I think it's about ships, and my favorite ship is Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens. IDK how much it counts considering how verbosely that dynamic is actually written into the show, like. Part of the plot is them exploring their romantic feelings. But y'know. If they don't count, then it's Pearl and Marina from Splatoon hehehe TV Show: Good Omens. No contest. Movie: Everything Everywhere All At Once, Scott Pilgrim VS The World and Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog all share my favorite spot. Sorry, can't pick one - management told me it's not allowed. Management is my fucked up brain, btw. Book: I AM A LIBRARY EMPLOYEE I CAN'T PICK A FAVORITE BOOK! ARE YOU INSANE?! But if I had to, it'd probably be Vinland Saga, the manga. I guess that's more of a book series, but whatever. Holy shit it's absolutely amazing. Few things make me feel as hard as that has. Musical artist: I AM A BASSIST I CAN'T PICK A FAVORITE MUSICIAN! ARE YOU INSANE?! But I can give you a top 5 in no particular order? Metallica, Lemon Demon, Mindless Self Indulgence, Jonathan Coulton, The Birthday Massacre. This was so hard to pick even just 5, but those are probably my biggest favorites.

You probably thought you were so clever for picking me so many and making me ramble about myself. Little did you know I love talking about myself, because I'm the best. Hah. thank you for asking me things I appreciate it I was worried nobody would I mean, I'm so cool.

[iconoclast-infidels]

"Woah-ho-ho-ho." Nico chuckled under his breath at the way Dmitry made his point.

"Don't get me going, boy. You're in no shape." He kept laughing softly as he made subtle adjustment before moving along.

"They do." He agreed. Broken ribs suck. Nico had had his fair share. "As long as you didn't puncture a lung. We should be good." They rarely did anything but wrapped you up from cracked ribs. It had to be really bad before they took real action and punctured lungs made a person look sick pretty fast.

"I don't know. I think you were also dead on arrival, so touché." Nico forever contemplated the fact Dmitry was basically a walking Lazarus to begin with.

The cozy corner was also Nico's favorite becaus it was over sized for them. It kept people that much farther away from them. It was a pretend barrier. Their space. No outsiders. VIP's only if they felt like inviting guests to come over and talk with them. Nico was like his own version of Mean Girls only his group would never be composed of plastics. His group would be more like the Goth Version Meme found on shirts now. The meme never made much sense to him considering all the women on the meme were either LGBTQI icons or known for their inclusivity. But, he still found humor in it. Thoughts of the meme had a way of drifting into his head whenever they sat at their table.

Okay, running scrub patterns by Dmitry was one thing, but what the fuck did he just say? "Croc what? Please tell those aren't real? No fucking way? Shoot me now. Just shoot me. But as a nurse, as a goth, I'd wear them. Shoot me anyway."

Then there was that stach. The mustache that fired up all things jealous inside Nico. It was mother fucking magnificent. He was sitting there and if a mind reader was in the room they'd hear him locked on thinking, "If I put Miracle Grow on my face I'd never get a stach as thick and stunning as that man's. Dear God why hath thou forsaken me?" The few times he uses God's name and this is what he thinks it for.

All this was going on in Nico's brain while the other two were having their exchange Nico didn't know to be clever or smartly faux offended, but he liked watching Dmitry be. He also found it nice being called part Dmitry in any way. He wouldn't have been offended even if he used the term Mrs. His brain didn't work that way when people joked. He just smiled, tipped his head.

"I got him covered." He assured making it known Dmitry would be taken care of. No need to interfere. Then he ordered a standard Jack n Coke. Nothing fancy to the palate. Then he decided, "Make that two." He wanted to make sure he'd have them stacked back to back. He knew how fast the first would go down and then he'd sip slower at the next.

"Hold up." Something about Dmitry saying Jefferson Starship made Nico need to find the Juke Box and put on the Mannequin song by Starship. Everything went back to a music reference in his head. He couldn't help it. "Sorry, I love that old movie. Had to do it."

He was jamming his head back and forth to the old tune as he sat down with his drink. He was seriously jamming too. Nico has a distractable mind. It was practically a serenade in his head to who was sitting across from him he was so smitten he was still the one Dmitry came to in moments like this.

Then oh. Right questions. What did he want to know?

"Uh, you mean besides who would be in your Mean Girl group if you could pick any four people besides yourself in the world, fictional or not?"

He waved his hands. He knew Dmitry meant about what happened tonight. It was just something like this couldn't get Nico down because damn, Dmitry came to him. That's all that mattered here. They'd get through it. "Well, before we start just let me say, I know at least one of mine would be Daria. Daria hands down, all the way. I'd want Daria and Jane Lane at my table. They can sit with us."

But okay really.

Focus.

What did he want to know? His smile started to fade because he usually let Dmitry be in charge of what he wanted to share about this subject of his life. It was sort of the unwritten rule of their boundaries they always abided by. Actually, once a long ago in the past Dmitry even said it was something he had to do alone and Nico left it at that. He just had that respect ever since then. But, it seemed Dmitry wanted to share now, but for some reason needed him to ask to get it to come out. So, even though what normally felt invasive for Nico to pry into he said, "Well, actually I'd like to hear what happened basically. Just the story of how it went down tonight. I wouldn't mind a play by play."

"How'd it happen?"

He always wanted to hear more. After all this time maybe this was the day? His chest was a little fluttery at the anticipation, like when a crush says your name. Maybe, just maybe after all this time he was trusting him with more?

Dmitry shrugged, smiling playfully. "I don't know, am I?" He softly ran a finger along the outline of Nico's crotch, entirely avoiding the question — he'd answer properly once they sat to talk.

At the observation about his ribs though, he nodded. "Thank you. I'm not sure, it feels kind of... Maybe broken? I hope not, that shit sucks." He gently poked at his side where the pain was, trying to decide how bad it was exactly. He didn't really know for certain, though. All he knew was breathing hurt, too, when his ribs moved to expand and contract.

He walked close to Nico and held onto his shoulder, careful not to make any sudden movements that could hurt. Walking like this wasn't easy, but he managed. Lisbeth would occasionally glance at him, keeping an ever watchful eye. She was, however, content in Nico's arms and purring.

As they walked, Dmitry rested in the closeness of Nico's soul. The suggestion from before, of Nico helping out, was an interesting one. He didn't usually speak much about his avenging angel adventures, let alone invite Nico, but it wasn't really about Nico at all. Some things, he just needed space to work through, and this was usually one of those. He had no problem coming back home covered in blood on occasion, or after having taken a few hits — Nico was exactly right, he liked being taken care of, too. But still, maybe having Nico by his side sometime would be fun. Some kind of bonding, surely.

Dmitry sure did picture that naughty nurse outfit, though, which made him chuckle. He immediately realized that hurt too, so he didn't quite laugh as much as he normally would, but the grin was there and it was real. "As a nurse, you're like, contractually obliged not to let me die... but what's a little death here and there, really?"

He was playing along with the joke, referencing the French expression for an orgasm. "Scrubs, now, you gotta run those patterns by me first. Make sure they're up for the job, they gotta be just right, man." And about the shoes, "I saw some croc-Martens once in a meme, don't underestimate the goths. You gotta do it, I have to see that."

At Jeff's, he took Nico's hand to lead him to his favorite booth table at a corner. It was way too big for just the two of them and Lisbeth, but what he liked about it was that it was a cozy corner which also provided a good view of the entire bar and exits. It made him feel safe, that was it. He felt safe at that dimly-lit corner, sheltered behind a round table, surrounded by the large furniture that made up the booth. Before digging into the conversation, he signalled Jeff to come over.

"The usual?" The beloved bartender grinned, recognizing Dmitry and Nico. "Lovely seeing you two here, though you," he pointed at Dmitry, "have seen better days by far."

Dmitry nodded. "It's alright, I got me a Nico," he smirked at the halfling. "He'll take care of me. I'll have... yeah, though if you have anything Lisbeth can eat, add that, and I'm gonna need your best vodka, not the cheap shit. Maybe a cocktail later, but vodka first. Plus, whatever he wants, I'm paying," he said, sliding Jeff a $20. "Maybe keep people away, too?"

The bartender jotted down carefully Dmitry's usual order, plus the note about the vodka and the food for Lisbeth, and then turned to Nico to ask for his order. "What's your poison, Mr. Dmitry Nikolaevich?" The handlebar-mustached man was playing on the old-fashioned convention of calling a woman Mrs. her husband's name, like Mrs. John Smith, only he was old friends with Dmitry and was aware of the ways Dmitry liked to be referred to in general. He'd forgotten their married name, but remembered enough to know it was Nico's first, hence defaulting to Nikoalevich. This prompted Dmitry to playfully take back the tip, "Don't go spilling my whole government name out there, Jefferson Starship, I'll getcha for it." Jeff held a hand up in surrender, and Dmitry returned the money.

After taking Nico's order, Jeff would head back to tend to the rest of the customers while the food was being cooked. He'd soon return with their drinks, plus some water for Lisbeth to drink. No cat was going to be left abandoned under his watch, especially not that one.

Dmitry quickly downed the vodka shots Jeff had brought him, and then he set the glasses on the table with intent. Once he was sure they were left alone to speak, he met Nico's gaze. "So, what do you wanna know?"

[inkskinned]

i sat next to him, dipping chips into the bowl of salsa, thinking about how i couldn't have enjoyed this 5 years ago. something strange: recently it's been about chaos theory for me.

a butterfly makes a tornado. the infinitely small becomes the chaotic whole. the universe bends towards entropy, and yet, chaos theory seems to argue - small motions make big changes.

chip goes into salsa. i eat a little bit. later, the chip is energy. later, the energy is movement. later, the movement is a memory. later, the memory shapes who i am.

i used to pretend i had already eaten. i used to be 30 minutes late so i could say eat without me. i used to say i didn't like chips or salsa. i'd chug my water and pray nobody noticed i was still nibbling the same chip i'd first picked up. i missed a lot of hangouts because i didn't want to grab lunch. i would eat by myself, curled up in the parking lot of a supermarket. hurried, anxious, embarrassed to be overcome.

5 years ago, i started saying yes to one more chip. 4 years ago, i could munch my way casually through a couple dozen. these days i am the one saying - can we have more chips when you get a second?

it didn't start with big changes. i thought it would have to - something was massively wrong with me, so i assumed recovery would take a natural disaster. the only way to fight fire was with an explosion. i would buy organizational journals, angrily clean my house for 10 hours straight, promise myself never again and know - i'd always slip backwards. i'm always going to be this way.

it wasn't big, though. 5 years ago i made a promise to stop it with the i'm going to kill myself jokes. for the sake of additional challenge, i also stopped saying i'm stupid. just two things.

i'm genuinely funnier these days. people laugh more with me. i find more things funny. when i mess up, it doesn't crush me. suicide no longer sits at the front of my brain. it is no longer the first option i picture. i forgive myself so easily. i no longer believe every mistake is emblematic of my personality. i have actually started to believe i am clever and smart - although i still want to add the prefix barely.

i still apologize too much. i still beat myself up. i still agonize over certain choices. i know i am not perfect. recovery is not linear.

but the joy in me is bigger. every time i choose to believe in it, every time i choose to make a little change towards hope - that joy in me grows.

when entropy rises up in my heart and i backslide and everything goes dark: the joy doesn't fully evaporate anymore. i slide just a little less. i bounce back just a little more. i go further this time. learn about myself. crawl up that slope with new skills in tow. i know what i'm doing these days; am getting good at finding handholds. i have started to learn how to catch myself while falling - instead of letting myself go.

a little change. ten years ago i googled depression self-help tips. little butterfly keystrokes. in the moment, nothing really happened.

ten years in the future: my life is full of love and healthy coping mechanisms. i have minimized a great deal of my symptoms. i spend a lot of my time laughing and creating and going out with friends. every time i hit a wall, i convince myself to get up, keep going, if it's hard just be harder, choose hope, choose just a little bit further -

i want to tell that version of myself, stranded in the desert: if you keep walking, all that sand will one day be water.

[sezja]

What mythical creature would they be represented by?

What real life animal would they be represented by (or Eorzean animals)?

Also for characters I mention here you didn’t reply the colors too.

Any ocs but can we have Marty and Tsimh and bard boys also a challenge, Steph just because I’m curious but please talk about others too I need to meet them. (I swear I’m not playing favorite ocs I love them all) Also Darcy too. Need to know them more.

And too prove I read your posts and make you think, Papawazu!

Also I know nothing about him but Garland, I google later then buy the game.

Also you have a hrothgar? Oh! Never went there. Is it cool? I hope they gave hrothgals and no difference in shape.

Going to make your brain think now.

AMINALS

Thematic OC Questions (still accepting!)

Martiallais: Okay, so for mythical creatures, I feel like he's probably something like a centaur - strong, mobile, able to scoop up Tsimh onto his back and ride off to safety. As a more ordinary animal, I feel like he's likely some kind of bird. A hunting hawk, maybe - intelligent, well-trained, and loyal to those who continue to deserve that loyalty. I don't necessarily have a color theme for him yet - he keeps winding up in dark blues, but that's mostly just the luck of the draw with leveling gear, rather than a deliberate choice. I do think he favors dark colors in clothing, though - easier to remain looking clean while living rough with the poachers, that way.

Tsimh: Fairy. Something small but not to be fucked with. As an ordinary animal, probably like... some kind of small but cute rodent - a mouse, maybe, or a hamster? Something small, but with a fierce bite if you mess with it too much. Her colors are dusky pinks and blue-greys: muted colors, often with white accents.

Stephanivien: Do Dwarves count? Not like the First's Dwarves, obviously, but your traditional blacksmithing dwarves. That's my pick for Steph, though I don't think "traditional" ever suits him, particularly (and it's funny to think of an elezen as a dwarf). In terms of normal animals, god, I have no idea. I want him to be a workshop cat - a big fluffy thing you can pick up and hug between projects. His color, of course, is Deepwood Green.

Darcy: Phoenix, definitely - they are a fire mage, first and foremost, but more importantly they were content to burn away their past life and start again as an apostate (in Dragon Age, this is Big Illegal for mages). In FFXIV, they're a half-Garlean conscript who sees their chance to escape and bolts, straight into Eorzea, never looking back. Either way, the theme of destroying one life to rise again is pretty strong in their life. As a normal animal, absolutely some manner of hellishly clever corvid, too smart for their own good and constantly needing to be rescued by humans.

Papawazu: YESSS MY FAVORITE CAPITALIST Leprechaun. :| No, not because he's a lalafell, but because he makes deals with you, playing by his own rules - rules he's content to modify ("security surcharge. Everybody does it.") as he sees fit. He's a rat. But like, someone's pampered pet rat, sleek and soft and shiny, smart but doesn't have to work hard. Cute but will bite you just to remind you it's got teeth. I love him??? I love him.

Garland: Oh man okay uhhhh. It's hard to say much about Garland without horrendously spoiling FFIX, but I'll do my best. I'll say he's like... a lich, controlling the dead. In his case, it's a dead world, but it counts; he's manipulating souls for his own ends, and whether those ends are justified are up to interpretation. In terms of real-world animals, a tortoise - ancient and armored, content to remain in his shell while others do his bidding. His color, naturally, is the red heart of Terra.

I do have a Hrothgar! And my god, same; ideally what I'd want is for Tajna to look exactly the same way she does now, with she/her pronouns. But I'm not sure I trust SE not to give us... tiny catgirls, but furrier. :c