#also i wrote this on my phone in the park so be forgiving

[starsstuddedsky]

Blonde Phase

Renjun x gn reader

summary: spontaneous hair decisions always end in regret. that's what you expect to hear when you tell renjun you're bleaching your hair, but instead you find support, and even his help. you should appreciate his wholehearted support but instead it has you wondering: why doesn't he care?

genre: fluff, minimal angst, technically they're in grad school but that's not particularly relevant, non idol au,

warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, spontaneous hair decisions (i do not endorse), lmk if I missed any

wc: 4.4k

a/n: in the immortal words of charles boyle, the most intimate thing you can do with a lover is wash their hair. yknow i made fun of him for that until i wrote this. i see it. also its been so long since ive finishing anything, pls forgive me if this is bad. renjun i love u. as always I'd love to hear what you think <3

“I’m bleaching my hair.” If you say it fast enough, Renjun won’t be able to talk you out of it. The plastic bag swings around your wrist as you walk across the parking lot. “I’ve already bought the bleach and gloves and stuff, and I’m going to do it, today.”

He’s quiet for so long you check to make sure the call hasn’t dropped. “Okay.”

You almost drop your phone. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” he says, drawing the word out. “Was I supposed to say something else?”

“Um, yeah?” You say. “You have opinions about literally everything. You talked me out of buying those pants two days ago.” You finally get to your car, tossing the bag onto the passenger seat and half-falling behind the wheel.

“That’s because they were made of polyester, and the thrift store was still charging $15,” he says immediately. “That was a scam.”

“Money is temporary, drip is forever.”

“Those pants would have lasted a year max, before they fell apart, and you still haven’t learned how to sew so you wouldn’t even be able to mend them or upcycle them.”

“You know what, I didn’t buy the pants, so this fight is moot,” you say. You set the phone on speaker, turning the engine on to blast the AC.

“Well, not moot. Technically I won,” Renjun says.

“I’d respect you more if you weren’t insufferable.”

“Here I was thinking you appreciated my insight,” he says. “You even asked for it.”

“I did not!”

“You literally asked about bleaching your hair.”

“I said I was surprised you didn’t have an opinion, not that I wanted to hear it,” you say.

“Semantics,” Renjun says. “So what time do you want to come over?”

You frown. “Tonight?”

“The roommates are out of town for the whole weekend, and I have way better ventilation,” he says. “I’d much rather bleach it without passing out.” He pauses. “You do want help, right?”

“Honestly, I was not expecting support. I was fully ready to fight you on this,” you say.

He snorts. “Come over whenever, I'm not doing anything today.”

“See you in twenty minutes.” You hang up, feeling a strange ball of tension roll around in your gut. That was… too easy? Renjun always has something to say about your admittedly impulsive tendencies. But if he’s going to help you’re not going to reject it—knowing Renjun he’s probably already watching Youtube videos and learning more than you will ever know about bleaching hair.

And it’s Renjun. When have you done anything without his help?

.

.

Renjun opens the door wearing a wearied expression. He doesn’t bother to greet you or even smile, just unlocks the door and steps to the side.

“Hi to you, too,” you say, trading your shoes for the spare slippers resting by the doormat. You follow Renjun into the space that serves as kitchen, dining room, living room, and Jaemin’s miniature gym, with weights and mats stacked next to the television.

“Who the hell clogs a toilet and then leaves for the weekend,” Renjun says.

You set down your plastic bag full of hair products and frown. “That’s disgusting.”

Renjun leans against the counter. “And you didn’t have to spend the last forty minutes trying to unclog it.”

“So which of the guys are you going to murder?” You try to guess, running through his roommates: you find it hard to believe Jaemin would do such a thing. Jeno maybe, and Donghyuck would certainly think it’s funny. But, in all honesty, it could have been any of them.

“Don’t know,” Renjun says, “but knowing them, they’ll make a pact to protect each other.”

“Seriously?”

Renjun pauses, gaze sheepish. “It’s what I did when I accidentally killed Jaemin’s little succulent that survived his college dorm.”

You fake a gasp, placing a hand over your chest. “Every day I learn something new about you. That’s devious.”

“I was drunk!” Renjun says, holding up a finger. “And Jeno and Donghyuck pushed me into it, so it was equally their fault.”

“If you say so.” You glance around the apartment. “Where are they all?”

“Jaemin’s visiting family, Jeno has a soccer tournament, and Donghyuck said he’s going camping with Yangyang.” Renjun says, counting off with his fingers.

“Donghyuck and Yangyang are friends?”

“Yeah, according to them they bonded over dealing with me.”

“Those were their exact words?”

“Dealing with my ‘stupid ass,’” Renjun says.

“That’s more on brand.”

Renjun nods.

You think about Yangyang, Renjun’s friend from when he was a kid. You’ve met him a few times now, especially since he’s moved half an hour away from Renjun. He’s fun, always bringing out a chaotic side of Renjun whether it’s dancing on a bar or bringing out angry-Renjun. But Yangyang and Donghyuck?

“That’s a terrible friendship. They’re going to ruin you.”

Renjun nods again, but you see the smile hiding in his eyes. He can rant all he wants, you know he’s excited his friends are getting closer with each other.

You point at the bag. “So where are we doing this?”

You half expect him to lecture you about rash hair decisions but he just gestures to the kitchen. “I figure right here should be fine. The tiles should be pretty easy to clean and probably could use some bleach anyway.”

He drags the chair with a rickety leg from the dining table. You dig through the bag and set everything on the counter. While Renjun cracks a window open, you begin to mix the developer and the bleach, curling your lip at the sharp scent. Renjun joins you, pulling on a pair of gloves.

“Wow that’s strong,” he says, wincing.

“Yeah,” you say. “Definitely a good idea to do it here.”

When the powder is finally combined, you sit on the chair, Renjun following behind you. You section off your hair together, then he grabs the bowl and the brush.

He holds the thick paintbrush brush up against your hair, glancing at you, giving you one last chance to back down. You give him the nod of approval and he shifts back to focusing on your hair, brushing the bleach into it as carefully as he spreads paint on a canvas. He works section by section, carefully drenching your hair with the creamy solution.

“So, are you going to tell me why you decided to do this?”

You can’t resist turning and glancing at him. “I thought you approved.”

“I didn’t try to talk you out of it,” he says, “that doesn’t mean I’m not curious about how you came to this decision.”

You nod until Renjun uses his gloved hand to hold your head straight. “I suppose that’s fair.”

You pause, trying to find the right words. But you find yourself drifting back to Renjun. Why didn’t he ask this before the bleach was in your hair? It’s not like him to keep his opinions to himself. When you first met him, he was yelling at Donghyuck for going to a philosophy seminar just to fight with the notorious bigot of a professor (which Donghyuck did and then got kicked out, and proceeded to get the professor suspended). You only knew Mark back then, a friend from another class who invited you to meet some of his other friends in the dining hall. When Renjun turned to ask what you thought, you said Donghyuck should do what he thinks is right. Renjun didn’t hesitate to call you an idiot then. So why isn’t he calling you an idiot now?

To his credit Renjun doesn’t rush you. He continues to paint the bleach into your hair, content to wait for you to figure out an answer. Except you’re thinking about all the wrong questions. Like, seriously, why do you want him to call you an idiot?

“I want a change,” you finally say. “I’m stuck in a degree that will make me absolutely no money when I graduate, I can’t afford to break my lease, and don’t have any major relationships that need upheaving, so, hair.”

“‘A change?’” Renjun repeats. “Like, you woke up this morning and thought, today I’m going blonde?”

“Like, I have this feeling in my chest, this aching feeling that there’s something I need to do, someone I’m supposed to be, something more than the person I see in the mirror but I’ve made my decisions and I’m happy with my decisions and I genuinely like who I am. So, hair.”

You see Renjun’s hand falter out of the corner of your eye, halfway between the bleach mixture and your hair. He freezes for a heartbeat then continues to move, lifting some hair off your ear, careful not to brush the bleach onto your skin.

“‘So, hair,’” he says.

“Are you really going to repeat everything I say?”

This gets a short laugh from him. “I think the fumes are getting to me already.” He pauses, setting down the brush and stepping in front of you. “For what it’s worth, I like who you are, too. I’m really glad we’re friends.”

You smile at him. “Me too,” you say. “I definitely would have fucked up trying to bleach this on my own.”

.

.

“There’s still some bleach left,” Renjun says after he finishes with your roots. “You’re sure you don’t want your eyebrows to match?”

“Why don’t we do your eyebrows,” you say. “Better yet, why don’t we shave them off?”

Renjun sets down the brush. “Okay, no eyebrows.”

You grin at him. “That’s what I thought.”

He helps you get a plastic bag wrapped securely over your head, then sets the timer.

“What do you want to do for the next half hour?” You ask. “Preferably something that requires little to no movement.” You gesture to your head. “We’re not winning any frisbee tournaments tonight.”

“It was one time,” Renjun mutters, shaking his head and stepping around you plop down onto the couch. “We can watch something.”

You follow him, sitting on the other side, a cushion between you. The space feels strangely empty. Though you’ve spent plenty of time alone with Renjun, even alone with him at his apartment, the silence is usually interrupted by one of the guys getting bored of playing League, or coming back because they can’t go out to a bar without someone forgetting their ID, or in desperate need of Renjun’s expert advice (read: Jeno never remembers to ask Renjun to look over his submissions until 12 minutes before they’re due). The cushion between you never stays empty for long but the moments stretch on, only making the distance feel greater.

You wonder, not for the first time, how long it’s been since you’ve thought of Renjun as just a friend. If he was just a friend, you wouldn’t care so much about what he thinks. And if he was just a friend, you wouldn’t care so much that he suddenly doesn’t think.

You sneak a glance at him, fiddling with the remote for a couple seconds before realizing he grabbed the wrong one. He’s certainly always been handsome—that was undeniable from the moment you met him. But more than just being good looking, it’s Renjun himself. Not just those dark eyes, but the way they burn with passion (even when he’s arguing about the proper number of appetizers to order). It’s his perfectly shaped lips, the way they betray how he feels with a slight curve up or down—and his smile. Always, always his smile, beautiful and breathtaking even though you’ve seen it a thousand times.

He turns, a little furrow in his brow. “What?”

“Hm?”

“You’re looking at me funny,” he says. “Did I get bleach in my hair or something?”

You turn to face the TV, trying to pay attention to the show Renjun chose. “I wasn’t looking at you funny,” you say. “I wasn’t even looking at you.”

“If you say so,” Renjun says, “but if there’s a blonde spot anywhere in my hair, I’m so making you pay for it.”

You shake your head. Where the hell did those thoughts come from? Renjun, more than a friend? Sure, you’re close with him and sure, he’s objectively attractive, but you’ve never had those thoughts before. Well, at least not sober.

“Um, why are we watching Singles Inferno?”

“Because I asked and you were too busy not staring at me to answer, so I put it on,” Renjun says. “And don’t you dare try to tell me you don’t like it. I saw you rant on your Instagram story the other day.”

“Okay, but you don’t get it,” you say. “This bitch really has the audacity to to—”

“I saw your post,” Renjun says. “Believe me, I get it.”

“If you didn’t want to hear about it you should not have turned it on, because now I can’t stop,” you say. Renjun rolls his eyes but even as you delve into a full on essay about the horrible men particularly common in dating shows, you see the corners of his lips tilt up into a smile.

.

.

The timer goes off halfway through an episode.

“Saved by the buzzer,” Renjun says. “I’m putting a ban on anything reality TV related for the next three hours.”

“You’re the one that brought it up,” you mutter without any real annoyance. Despite his banter, Renjun dutifully listened to your rants, and even got mad along with you.

You drag a chair to the sink while Renjun drapes a towel over your shoulders. He puts on gloves and unwraps the bag, letting your hair fall into the empty sink.

“Close your eyes,” Renjun says gently. He tilts your head back, cupping the back of your head for a moment before pulling the head of the sink faucet out. He runs the water, long enough for you to peek your eyes open.

You’ve gotten used to seeing Renjun focused. He gets a little furrow in his brow, always glaring at his work. Before you were friends, you used to think he was actually angry, that his frowns and short tone were real. You’ve learned since then, it’s not his emotions, it’s his passion. The frown only comes out when he’s focused, trying to be perfect. When he cares.

“Unless you want bleach in them, close your eyes,” Renjun mutters, with absolutely no malice behind the words. His eyes shift to meet yours and that’s how you know you’re right. He can glare and bluster all he wants, he can’t hide his eyes, warm and shining. Like when he’s looking at his art, his gaze is a combination of soft and intense, creating something stronger than affection. Except he’s not looking at his art, he’s looking at you.

You squeeze your eyes shut, feeling your heartbeat pick up. Despite every attempt to shut down the thoughts, they race through your head, a stampede grown out of control. Renjun, who you’ve only known a year and a half but who has become one of your closest friends. Renjun, who never fails to share the only opinion you really care about. Renjun, who you can’t imagine life without. Renjun, who you’ve never dared to imagine life with.

He places a hand on your forehead, bringing the faucet closer to rinse your roots while keeping the water from pouring onto your face. You prepare for a cold shock but the water that soaks into your hair is the perfect temperature—not scalding hot, not freezing cold. Some water sprays over his hand, falling onto your eyelids and cheeks.

“Sorry,” Renjun murmurs. He holds the head farther away, running his fingers gently through the roots of your hair. He’s so close you can feel his breath, warm against your temple. You can feel his body, hovering over yours, and maybe it’s just your imagination, but warmth seems to emanate from it.

His friends would laugh at you if you described Renjun as soft to their face, but it’s the only adjective that captures the way he works the water through your hair. Soft and gentle and careful and nothing like the Renjun that has to corral everyone into his car at 3 in the morning. And yet this Renjun doesn’t feel like a stranger to you.

Washing your hair takes a lifetime, but as soon as he steps away and turns off the water, you miss it. You miss him, even though he’s only a couple feet away.

“You can open your eyes now,” he says. As soon as you do, he tosses a towel at you. It hits you in the face before you can get your hands up.

“Hey!”

“Sorry,” Renjun says, not sounding sorry at all. He manages to hold back the laugh but still grins at you, unashamed. He steps forward and pats your face dry, with the same gentleness as before, though there’s still a mischievous glint in his eyes. You yank the towel away before he gets any ideas, drying off your face on your down and wrapping it around your hair. You wring it out a couple times before letting go, doing your best to get it to fall evenly around your head.

You raise your eyebrows at Renjun. “Okay, how bad is it?”

“Okay, first of all, I’m insulted that you think there’s any way I’d fuck up you hair,” Renjun says. “And it looks really good. Blonde suits you.”

You take a deep breath and pull out your phone, studying yourself in the mirror and… he’s right. The color is even, somewhere between blonde and orange that is unavoidable when using bleach. Radical hair changes generally end in tears but looking at yourself in the mirror, you don’t feel the usual dissonance. The hair is different but somehow more familiar than the “normal” you that doesn’t feel right anymore.

“I’m right,” Renjun says.

You smile. “Yeah, you are.” You put down your phone, meeting his eyes. “Thank you, Renjun.”

“For what?”

“Doing all of this for me,” you say.

“It’s the least I could do,” he mumbles. “You’re my friend.”

You shake your head. “Thank you anyways.”

Renjun just shrugs and grabs the bowl, rinsing out the bleach in the sink. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he’s avoiding your eyes.

You do your best to clean up the bleach from the floor, busying yourself until Renjun finishes. You wonder if you’re imagining the tiles getting a little bit whiter. Finally, he turns off the water and glances at you.

“You’re really happy with it?” He asks, sounding more like he doubts you rather than changing his opinion.

“Yeah,” you say, standing up. “I think it’s the ‘me’ of right now, you know?”

“Not really.”

“Like, I feel disjointed, and blonde hair is definitely not me, but it's the me that feels kind of all over the place, so even though it doesn’t look like me, it looks like me.” You wring your hands together, fingers tinged red.

“That makes no sense,” Renjun says, “but I think I get what you mean.” He smiles. “And I’m glad. I wouldn’t want you to have any regrets.”

So he did think this was a potential mistake? Why didn’t he say anything?

Renjun turns back to the sink, but before he can turn the water on, your voice calls his name. “Renjun?”

“Hm?” He doesn’t turn around.

“Why didn’t you fight me on this?”

He doesn’t move for a long moment. You wish you could see his face. “I have been told by certain people,” he begins, which is code for Donghyuck and Yangyang certified their position as Renjun’s worst nightmare. He turns to face you, wiping his hands on a towel.

“That I have a tendency to be overly opinionated in a generally negative direction. And I thought about it, and I realized I'm never really fully supportive, whether it’s a big decision, or, like, coffee, and I’ve always been this way, but, apparently, it’s especially… apparent with you.” He frowns. “This is all coming out wrong. I’m trying to say that it’s different when I’m around you. I’m different.”

Your eyes jump between his, trying to decipher what he’s saying. “Different?”

“I care a lot about you,” Renjun says, “more than anyone, actually.”

“Oh.” You blink once, twice. “Wait, you like me?”

Renjun’s eyes shift to the floor. “Yeah.”

You can’t help but let out a short laugh, reeling at the absurdity of it all. Renjun likes you? But he’s Renjun. Even though he’s the most common main character in your daydreams, you never once realistically thought he might be fantasizing about you too. But he likes you.

“I really didn’t want to say anything, I mean, before anything else you’re my friend, and I don’t want to ruin that,” Renjun says rapidly. “We’re good friends, and I really didn’t want to be the guy that pretends to be your friend but just wants to date you the whole time, that’s really not what I was trying to do, it’s just—”

“Renjun.” You put a hand on his shoulder and he freezes mid sentence, mouth still hanging open a little. Before he can move, you lean closer, the type of line you’d only dare to cross in your dreams.

“I’d like to kiss you,” you say softly. He blinks, eyes darting between your eyes and your lips.

“I’d like that,” he finally breathes. So you kiss him.

It starts light, his lips exactly as you imagined—soft and warm. His arm works its way around your waist, pulling you closer. The other works its way into your hair, still wet and sticking to your head. Renjun kisses like he’s been planning this for a long time, and maybe he has. Every movement is slow and careful, until he’s stolen all your air and even then you don’t want to pull away.

Your bravery fades the minute you meet his eyes. You bury your face into his chest, your cheek resting against your own hand. Renjun wraps both of his arms around you, holding you snugly in place.

“I like you, too,” you say into his chest. It’s the cowards route but if you look him in the eyes the words will never come out. “If it wasn’t obvious.”

“It wasn’t actually,” he says softly. “I think I drove all of my friends insane trying to figure out whether I should confess or not.”

“They all know?” You groan. “We’re never going to hear the end of this.”

“Yeah.” When Renjun laughs, it shakes your whole body. You can feel the rumbling, overtaking his heartbeat. “It’s okay though. It’s worth it.”

You turn your head, emerging from the sanctuary of his chest and tucking your head so that you can see his face. He smiles at you with the familiar warmth you’ve come to expect.

“Yeah,” you say, “it really is.”

Renjun grins.

“Your hair on the other hand…” He says.

“I thought you liked it!”

“I like it,” Renjun says, “but when has Donghyuck ever liked a single change to anyone’s hair?”

“Since when do you care what Donghyuck thinks?”

“I’m just saying now that we’re officially dating, my friends are going to be extra annoying,” Renjun says.

“Extra annoying? I didn’t think that was possible.”

“Don’t underestimate them.”

You groan, pressing your face back into his chest. “It’s not too late to get some hair dye.”

“You are not changing your hair because of my dumbass friends,” Renjun says.

“You like it?”

“You like it,” he says. “That’s the only opinion that really matters.” He pauses then adds, “But yeah. I like it.”

You grin, lifting your head to kiss his cheek. “Maybe we should dye your hair too.”

Renjun snorts. “Oh yeah?”

“We could have matching couples hair.”

He laughs out loud this time. “Maybe we should just get some shirts.”

“Three minutes of dating and you already want matching shirts? Huang Renjun, be honest.” You push off of him until you can place your hands on his shoulders and look him in the eyes. “Are you obsessed with me?”

“Yes,” he says, layering his voice in sarcasm that still isn’t enough to hide the truth of the admission. “All day every day, all I think about is you.”

“Well, see, that can’t be true because if you were that obsessed and I’m this close, you would already be kissing me because—” You forget whatever you were going to say, but it doesn’t really matter. Not when Renjun is kissing you like this. Your hands at his shoulders slink around his neck, while his wrap around your waist, leaning so close to you, you feel your back begin to dip.

Huang Renjun is poison, the kind that turns into a heart-shaped puff of pink when the bottle is opened. You melt into his kiss and it’s still not enough. You could die, right this instant, and you don’t think you’d notice. Death itself wouldn’t be able to tear you away from this moment.

“Renjun!” Donghyuck’s voice thunders through the kitchen. “How dare you? You bastard, you’re cheating?”

You jump apart, turning to see him looming in the doorway. His glare settles on you, and you see the exact moment he realizes he recognizes you.

“Jesus Christ, you could have knocked or something,” Renjun says.

“I live here too,” Donghyuck says automatically. He squints, then looks at Renjun, then back at you. “YN? Your hair is blonde.”

For some reason, you raise your hand and wave at him. “Hey!”

“Oh my god!” Donghyuck cries. “Yangyang owes me thirty dollars!” He races back out the door, screaming something that’s lost as the door swings shut.

You glance at Renjun. “Cheating?”

He frowns at the door, still a crack open. “Did he… seriously think you were someone else? That I was cheating on my unrequited crush?”

His eyes shift to yours. A heartbeat passes and you burst into laughter. His friends might be annoying, but they’re still endearing. You press a messy, smile-infested kiss to his lips and wonder if you’ll ever get used to the giddy feeling.

There’s plenty messy in your life, plenty to doubt. But watching Yangyang and Donghyuck drag their backpacks in (apparently Donghyuck forgot his power bank and they decided to give up on camping) as they attempt to interrogate Renjun on every detail, you can’t help but feel like it doesn’t really matter. You don’t doubt Renjun. You don’t doubt blonde suits you. And you don’t doubt the power of a last minute hair decision, not anymore.

thank you for reading!! likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated

[alpineglow]

do you think you could write for Yelena Belova x reader Sharing their first kiss?

ofc!! I adore a cute little fluff fic like this, they are DELECTABLE!! also I hope y'all enjoy the fact that all my fic titles are Taylor lyrics, idk why I always love people who have super cohesive title themes. Also sorry if this is OOC or anything! I wrote this all in one go at like 10pm LMAO.

The First Kiss, It's Flawless

Ship: Yelena Belova x Reader Word Count: ~1.8k Description: Yelena's got a crush on you. She wants it to be perfect. Who better to ask than her older sister? (Spoiler: Many people are better to ask) A/N: NOTHING BUT SILLY ROMANTIC FUN FOR MY GIRLS BC THEY DESERVE THE WORLD

Masterlist

11:30am, Manhattan

"Natasha, I'm being serious," Yelena groans, shoving her face into her hands. Her sister was sat next to her on the edge of her bed, awkwardly patting Yelena on the back. When her sister asked for help, and to come to her Brooklyn apartment as soon as possible, the last thing she expected it to be for was romantic struggles.

"And I'm being serious too! You just go with the flow," Natasha says, sighing softly as her free hand pinches her brow.

"That's easy for you to say! Maria asked YOU out!" Yelena was definitely growing more frustrated, owed to the way she flopped her body back onto her bed and pulled a pillow over her face. Natasha rolls her eyes, pulling the pillow away. She earned herself a few daggers glared in return.

"Yelena, Y/N is sweet. The worst they can say is no."

"That's what you and everyone else say! I can think of so many worse things that could-"

There it was, the list of reasons she couldn't take the leap about to tumble forth. Natasha knew it all too well. It was incredibly impressive how in every other aspect of their lives, Yelena led with her head held high. This was a vast departure from that. So, with a sigh, Natasha stood up, stretching, and grabbing her keys and phone from the bed.

"What are you doing?" Yelena asked hastily, pushing herself up onto her elbows.

"Going to play matchmaker." It was a simple plan, really. Feign confused sibling, apologise if it wasn't the case. Easy operation, in and out. To Yelena though, it wasn't.

"Are you out of your mind?" Thankfully, the door was shut, meaning Yelena's shout didn't have the chance to escape the room and echo down the hallways of the apartment building.

"No- Seriously, you have nothing to freak out about! I figure it out for you, and make the opening!"

Before Yelena could object, Natasha was out of the door.

---

Natasha had asked to meet you at some nondescript coffee shop by Central Park. It wasn't out of the ordinary, meeting an Avenger in some otherwise innocuous location. Unlike other times though, this did seem like a genuine encounter. When you arrived, Natasha was already sat outside, with two coffees on a wire table.

"Hey, Nat! It's been a while!"

You'd been friends with the redhead for nearing a decade now - working with the Avengers as an intelligence officer on several occasions. On the third or fourth time, Natasha had taken a shining to you, and the pair of you became close friends.

Being close friends, she had, of course, gotten your coffee order dead on. It was a welcomed warmth in the late winter in New York.

"How've you been, Y/N?" she asks, taking a swig of her coffee. From there, the conversation flowed naturally, as if you'd seen each other yesterday. It was nice, pleasant even. You felt yourself relax into it, smiling as the odd joke came to light.

"Hey, do you mind if I ask you something?"

You furrow your brow, nodding.

"Of course?"

"Forgive me, if I'm overstepping, but I couldn't help but notice- You and Yelena? Are you two-"

A blush blooms across your face, and up your neck. You try and hide it with a sip of your coffee, but you fail miserably, choking slightly.

"What? Oh- No! No, no, no. We're just friends." You laugh nervously, coughing a few times. When you finally meet Natasha's eyes, there's a good natured humour in them. And, obviously, she had seen right through you.

"Is it that obvious?" you say, a frown meeting your expression. You'd thought you had been subtle.

"Afraid so," Natasha replies. This was good news, great news for her sister. An idea sparked though. She'd have to beg Yelena for her forgiveness though.

"You know... Yelena's free this Friday night."

Your brow furrows.

"I don't follow?"

Natasha laughs, setting her empty coffee cup on the table.

"Ask her on a date. I promise it'll go well."

Things clicked into place for you, and you roll your eyes. This was a double agent case. But that meant Yelena liked you back... Oh my god. You reach into your pocket, pulling out your phone.

"You're an asshole, you know that?"

"Hey! I had to play it cool, in case you didn't like her. Would've been really awkward if I was straight up and you weren't into her."

You couldn't argue with that logic. Finally, you find Yelena's contact on your phone, and type up a quick message.

Are you free Friday?

There's a short delay, albeit a touch too short, before Yelena responds.

Yes. Are you suggesting something?

How about a movie at mine? 7pm. Keep it casual. Like a casual date.

Yelena takes a little longer to respond this time. You hear Natasha's phone ding, and look up in time to see her laugh.

"She just called me a motherfucker."

---

Friday came all too quickly, and you found your palms sweating. You're not sure why. Your intentions had been perfectly clear when you messaged Yelena and asked her out. She knew what this was, and you did too. And it wasn't like you didn't know her - you'd warmed up to each other quite quickly once Natasha had introduced you both. Being closer in age to the younger of the sisters would do that.

To top it all off, you already had Natasha's approval. So there was nothing to be afraid of, right?

It was just you and Yelena, in your living room, watching a film.

Romantically.

Not as friends. Very very not as friends.

The microwave beeped from your kitchen, yelling at you that the popcorn had finished.

God, what am I doing?

The microwave opens with a thud when you pull the handle, grabbing the popcorn by the very corner. Holding it over the sink, you shake it a few times to disperse the butter, and get the kernels out. Fondly, you remembered it was Yelena who'd actually taught you that trick.

Finally, you dump it into a large bowl, and take it over to the living room. Netflix was already pulled up. You hadn't yet settled on what film to watch, and you'd be damned if you picked it on your own. Risk her not liking it. On your first date. The very thought sent a shudder through you.

You couldn't linger on it for too long, because the doorbell rung.

"Fuck! 7pm already," you whisper-shout to yourself, carefully dodging around the couch to get to the front door. Habitually, you look through the peephole. You're greeted with a fisheye view of the blonde, and open the door.

"Yelena! Hey!"

Why the fuck are you saying that like you didn't expect to see her. You literally invited her here.

Thankfully, she looked as nervous as you felt. Yelena smiled though, holding up a bag of M&M's.

"Hi. I brought these! Makes popcorn better," she said. "Can I come in?"

"Oh! Yea, of course, sorry!" you jumble out, stepping out of her way. You lock the door behind her as you close it, and follow her as she's already made her was to the living room.

"I didn't know what you wanted to watch, but I made popcorn!"

You're nervously fidgeting with your hands, surveying the living room situation. There were plenty of blankets, and pillows. The coffee table was in reach, with popcorn, and the new bag of M&Ms. You're too busy worrying to catch the soft look Yelena sends your way.

"We can pick off of your Letterboxd, don't you have that watch list? Movies are more your thing," she jokes, settling down with a pillow and blanket in the corner.

You agree, pulling out your phone and settling on the lounge. You're a little too tense, and sitting an almost awkward distance away from her. Not quite in her space, but not quite in yours either. You rattle off a few titles, and don't notice her creeping nearer until a hand rests on your forearm. You look at her.

"How about that one?" she asks, pointing to a movie poster on your phone. You become aware of how close she is.

"Yea... That'll work."

---

It'd happened almost 20 minutes ago now, but your knee was touching Yelena's under the blanket. It felt like electricity arcing up your body when it first happened, but now it had settled to a soft warmth. A pleasant warmth.

When the end credits rolled, Yelena stayed still for a while. Wrapped up in a blanket, leant against the armrest of the sofa.

"Wow. That was a good movie. Good taste," she said, sitting up. You liked the way her accent wove the words together. It made such a simple statement feel like the highest praise.

"Yea!" you say, standing up to take the bowl to the kitchen. "I'm glad I got to watch it with you." It's a tad sappy, but you meant it. Couldn't hurt to say on a first date.

"Do you know what time it is?" she asks from the living room, where she'd rolling up the blanket she had used. Your eyes stray to the microwave, which reads 10:30pm. You relay that information to her.

"Your place is pretty far away... I have a guest room you can use?"

"My my! Getting me to stay the night on our first date, that's very bold."

If she were anyone else, and if you'd known her for any less time, you would've panicked. A faux pas, and you would've passed out. But you could spot the jest in her tone. When you come back to the living room, she's smiling.

"I'd actually really appreciate that," Yelena says. Her tone is lower than before; more authentic. More tender. Simply more.

"Thank you for coming tonight." She looks at you, regarding you with a warmth that went just a step beyond friendship. A new dash of vulnerability.

Her hand rests on your outer forearm that's by your side. It was a sweet touch, an innocent one, too. But it felt perfect. Everything in this moment felt right, and you felt at ease.

"Can I kiss you?" Yelena asks. If you listened closely enough, dissected it with the proverbial knife, there was a touch of fear in her tone. You hadn't heard it, though.

Rather than answering, you lean forward, capturing her lips in yours. Like everything else, it felt right. It was chaste, and didn't last long enough. But for now it would be enough. It was more a promise. A beckoning call forward, a waiting hand.

Yelena's smiling when you pull away. You find yourself smiling too.

You show her to her room for the evening, and before you go to return to your own, you call out behind you.

"Night, Yelena!

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

Hope y'all enjoyed! Like I said, I wrote this in one take at night, so forgive any mistakes! Requests are open!!

[iamleesi]

THE HUNTERS & THE SOLDIER

Pairing: Avenger! Bucky Barnes x OC! Avenger Reader

Summary: Bucky’s being an idiot once again and you meet someone… quite interesting? Or creepy? You decide. Also a surprise in the end simply because I can.

Warnings: Alcohol, bit of angst (?), gun, annoying lady, allusion to s3x if you squint, mention of Hydra and being watched/ followed -> 18+!!

Other: Forgive me for eventual mistakes but I wrote this in 3 days and I changed my mind about 60 times

-> Masterlist

-> Part twelve ; part fourteen

-> Devil On Your Shoulder (13)

The ticking of the living room clock was the only sound filling the space around you, each second’s click made you lose your hope about Bucky’s return. Hours had passed since Cassandra had knocked at your door and Bucky had stormed out of the house. Sam and Dean had completely disappeared as well - not that you made any efforts in contacting those two, you anger towards them was still very much present - leaving you all alone with the girl.

You hadn’t spoken much to her due to the fear of stressing her out more than she already was; instead, you opted to let her rest in your bedroom for the night, saving the questions for tomorrow.

You had searched the whole neighborhood for Bucky, checking nearby parks or public places he could be at but there was no sign of him, not even his shadow. It was as if he had vanished. In moments like these, you hated to admit how worried sick you were for his safety, knowing Hydra had their eyes on him. If he were to fall into their hands once again because you couldn’t find him, you’d never forgive yourself.

Hours later, that fear consumed your thoughts. You hadn’t eaten anything all day - the scrambled eggs Bucky had made for breakfast were given to Cassandra since she needed it more than you. But you, honestly, weren’t hungry anyway, especially not when Bucky’s phone went straight to voicemail every time you called.

Your attention was caught by the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs, and you turned your head slightly around to see Cassandra coming your way. She was now dressed with some new, clean clothes you had given her, and she seemed to be feeling way better than before.

“Hey.” You tiredly said, as she sat beside you. “I thought you were sleeping.”

“Couldn’t find sleep.” She made a small smile your way, resting her feet on the couch to wrap her arms around her knees. “I’m sorry for earlier.” She mumbled. “I’m sure he’ll be back.”

You looked at her and shook your head at her apologetic tone of voice. “It’s okay, it’s a sensitive topic for him. It’s… I don’t know why he doesn’t pick up the phone.”

Your nervousness intensified once you spoke, voicing your thoughts was like confirming your worries. You began to play with the golden ring on your finger trying to get your mind off of it, but unlike other times it did nothing to ease the growing anxiety gnawing at you. He had specifically told you to call him once Cassie had calmed down, and you did, but he ignored you.

And, to be completely honest here, being ignored was the best case scenario your brain could think of.

Cassandra’s voice brought you back to the present. “Do you want me to help search for him? I’m sure he’s not far away, and I know the city.” She offered kindly, worry evident in her tone. Her guilt over what she said was as clear as a day.

“No, no.” You waved her off gently. “You need to rest, so feel free to go to bed. I think I’ll go for a walk to clear my head.” The last thing you wanted was to drag her into your tunnel of worries - not just for Bucky, but for the entire situation. She was still a missing girl and she needed to stay inside in order for no one to find her, so letting her out of the house was out of the equation.

Also, she was the goddamn key to solve the case and she was sitting right beside you while three out of four people working on the case were men (as if that was unfortunate enough) that couldn’t set their priorities straight. There were people that needed to be found, like Fury and Maria, others who needed to be captured - and yet, there you were, all alone.

“Are you sure?” She pressed, her brow furrowing with worry. “I don’t mind staying up with you if it’s going to help. I mean… you’re here because of me. It’s the least I can do.”

You managed to give her a small, grateful smile. “I appreciate it, Cassie, but none of this is your fault. There’s no need for you to worry or stress over it. Get some rest, I’ll see you in the morning.” You hoped the assurance in your voice was convincing.

Cassandra hesitated for a moment, clearly torn between wanting to help and follow your advice. Eventually, much to your relief, she nodded. “Alright, but if you need anything don’t hesitate to wake me up.”

“I won’t.” You promised, knowing you’d never wake her up in any case. “Also the house is secure. No one can get in without a key, so you’ll be fine.” You reassured her, watching as she stood up, nodded at you, and headed back back towards the stairs.

Once she was out of sight, you finally let out a deep sigh and looked around the dimly lit room. You forced yourself to get up, knowing that sitting around doing nothing only worsened your mood. Especially seeing your phone screen remain dark without a single message back from Bucky added fuel to the fire.

Grabbing your coat from the armchair, your slipped it on and headed towards the door, locking it securely behind you as you stepped onto the street.

It was probably all the emotions you were feeling at the moment, but for some reason you couldn’t quite understand why the atmosphere felt different that night. It was as if the air stood still, and you sensed presences that weren’t even there.

The streets were empty so you must have had imagined it, the only sound being your footsteps on the wet crosswalk. You double checked behind you to ensure your were alone and, in fact, there was absolutely no soul around. Even the neighbor’s dog was oddly quiet since the animal seemed to be possessed at each hour of the fucking night, but the owners left the poor creature outside alone the whole time so it wasn’t really the dog’s fault.

However, feeling watched or not, you needed to have a proper walk and get your mind off of those three stupid ass men for one night. You could almost excuse Bucky’s behavior initially; seeing the hurt on his face was enough to understand what had come over him. Even if you weren’t close to him, living in the same building for so long meant you knew that being seen as a murder was a trigger for him. You didn’t want to hold him accountable for how he reacted to those accusations, it was his own way to deal with it.

What you couldn’t tolerate was that, if he was still out there somewhere, he hadn’t bothered to let you know he was okay or to check how things ended with Sam and Dean. Especially after hearing how they had kept Cassie locked up for a whole day.

Lost in thought, you almost collided with a stranger who stood directly in your path, making no effort to move even as you took a few steps back.

Your already sour mood darkened further, aggravated by his presence and the small, annoying grin on his face. He appeared to be in his late forties, dressed entirely in black. The streetlight above his head flickered intermittently, unlike the others that worked perfectly.

“I need to go that way.” You said, pointing to the street behind him, as he blocked your path.

He stared into your eyes for what seemed like an eternity before finally stepping aside, extending a hand in the direction you were headed. “Forgive me, kid, didn’t mean to startle you.”

His voice was smooth, but carried an unsettling undertone that you couldn’t ignore. You shot him a glare as you reluctantly walked past him, your eyes not leaving his for the slightest second - you didn’t like this man. He gave off weird vibes, way too familiar vibes, and you didn’t like that.

“You didn’t startle me.” You mumbled. “Maybe just don’t stand in the middle of the crosswalk.”

“I’ll make sure to follow your advice from now on.” The man answered with a sarcastic tone, giving you one last glance before turning around to walk away. “Have the sweetest night, kid.”

You stood there for a moment, watching his short figure disappear around a corner. The nickname he used left a bittersweet taste in your mouth, but you didn’t think much of it as you turned back around to continue your night walk.

You didn’t have a place in mind, the cold air hitting your skin was just a way to cool you off - it was a nice, relaxing feeling for you. Even with that, your mind immediately drifted back to Bucky, Sam and Dean; if you survived this, you’d fight to be paired up with women in the future missions because you had had enough. And it had barely been a week.

You tried to focus on the rhythm of your steps and the crisp night air, which gradually started to finally calm you down. You didn’t know how long you had been walking when, at some point, you arrived near the center of the city, which was far more crowded than the area where you lived. Deciding it was about time to get back, you turned around - or almost.

“I don’t think that’s the right direction.”

A voice made you stop dead in your tacks, and you looked ahead only to see the same man from earlier, throwing something heavy into a nearby dumpster. He smacked his hands together to remove some dirt before slipping them into his pockets, walking towards you with that same small grin you had seen before.

He stopped right in front of you, and all your efforts to dissolve the anger you had built up during the day vanished in a mere instant. Great.

Why this mad had such an effect on you, you didn’t know.

“Excuse me?” You raised an eyebrow, which only made his grin wider.

“I said, you were going in the wrong direction.” He repeated, his voice tinged with mockery. He pointed behind his shoulders, as he spoke again. “You need to go that way, he’s having fun over there. You don’t want him to blew the mission, do you?”

“I have dealt with crazy fuckers like you before, alright? Leave me alone.” You shoved him off, turning your back to head back home. Or, at least, that was your intention.

“I see your attitude hasn’t changed in these last ten years. I thought you’d get nicer with age, but I’m glad to know I was wrong.” He called after you, making your freeze for a second. “Has no one ever taught you that it’s best to be nice to strangers?”

You turned back around, studying his expression because he sure as hell got your attention with that. He seemed to be lucid and collected, making you reconsider in an instant your initial thoughts of him as just another street creep. After all, you had encountered way too many in your life.

“What did you just say?” You said, your voice laced with suspicion.

He took a step closer, still grinning. “Ten whole years. I must admit, I never thought you’d get paired up with the Winchesters. But they go wherever trouble is, so I had to see it coming at some point; my bad.” He raised his hands in surrender before continuing. “But as I was saying, I’m happy to see you haven’t changed. Still so quick to judge, so quick to dismiss and so, so slow when it comes to understand who you can trust and who you can’t. You even got a name now, don’t you, my dear Emma?”

Your mind started to race the second you heard your name fall from his mouth with such normalcy. You were transported back to ten years ago, back to the time you were still with Hydra, to try and remember who he was. But everything was blank, you were sure you had never seen this man before; and there he was, talking to you as if you were his long-lost something.

“How do you know my name?” You demanded, keeping your voice steady. You were an Avenger, sure, but due to your request your face was not allowed to be published - therefore, nobody outside of your friends or some of the people you worked with knew who you were.

He tilted his head, his grin widening. “Oh, I know a lot more about you than just your name, dear. I’ve been watching you for a long time, not that you could have known. It’s fascinating how you’ve grown, how you’ve changed… yet some things remained the same.”

“What do you want?”

“Me? Oh, nothing.” He shrugged. “Believe it or not, I’m on your side. All this… trying to solve creepy mysteries with your gang like some sort of Scooby Doo in real life is quite exciting, but I need you to solve this case quickly because I’m getting tired of you all dancing around it.”

“Do I even know you?!” You asked, as this man was making less sense each passing second.

“No, silly.” His tone was condescending. “So don’t strain your little brain.” He waved a hand in front of your face. “I never bothered to meet you personally, I had more important things to do like…” He trailer off, trying to find the words. “Nothing really, but I’ve been watching you. And let me tell you, that little stunt you pulled when you let that friend of yours escape… what was her name? You used to call her something like Naomi or something?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You lied, your heart pounding in your chest.

“Nonie.” He smirked, knowing he had your full attention. “Yes, that’s right, because she was anonymous. Brave of you, really, but also quite foolish. She stayed for you, you know? Even after you freed her; she stayed around in the woods and brought John Winchester straight to you, so that he could save you. And what did she get in the end? She was burned alive.”

Your breath caught in your lungs at his words, confirming that the man in front of you wasn’t just some crazy idiot on the streets harassing women. He knew about Nonie, a secret you always kept for yourself (one of the many) and that meant he knew far more than what you were comfortable with. And you still had no idea of who he was or where he came from.

The pain of his revelation hit you like a punch to the gut. Not that you had ever held out much hope for Nonie, considering she had been turned into a Wendigo, but you had convinced yourself to believe that perhaps, somehow, she found some form of peace. Hearing that she was dead, though, was like a knife to the heart. She had been your first and only friend, or the closest thing you had to one, for most of your life.

“What do you want from me?“

“Your loyalty.” He answered, the serious you had seen him all night.

You let out an honest chuckled at that, which only made him roll his eyes. “You want me to be loyal to you? I only just met you and, frankly, you’re not exactly making a great first impression.”

He smirked, unfazed by your sarcasm. “I don’t need to make a good impression, my dear, I just need you to understand that we can help each other. We can make a deal, right here and right now, and I’ll explain everything to you. Starting with the truth about Ella White.”

You hated to admit that you took a moment to consider his offer, truly, the second he mentioned that woman. He did seem to know a lot of things, but you didn’t know him and you didn’t trust him. “Listen, not trying to sound rude here, but get lost.” You finally said him, even if a part of you was burning to know what he was talking about. “You’ve been creepy this whole time saying that you watched me when I was younger and now you want to be buddies?” You raised a brow at his nonsense.

“Not buddies, partners. You know, work together, be a team.” He clarified. “You don’t even know how many things we can accomplish together, we’d have everyone at our feet - do you not want that? Imagine, just imagine, how it could be like to rule the living and the dead.” His green eyes were locked into you as he talked, getting close to you.

“You sound like a dictator. I hate dictators.” You answered. “And if you don’t leave me alone I’ll put a bullet right between your eyebrows.”

He laughed at what you said, and your crossed your arms under your chest quite offended. “You’re funny, girl, I’ll give you that. But if you want to kill me, I think a simple gun won’t do it. It’s not your lucky day.” He said, faking an apologetic tone.

“You haven’t told me your name yet.”

“It’s not important.” He replied dismissively. “I’ll give you time to think about my offer, kid.” With a casual shrug, he began to walk past you.

Your eyes refused to leave his figure, and you were conflicted whether to follow him or not. Not because you wanted to accept his weird offer, but because he was clearly involved somehow and letting him go didn’t seem like the smartest choice. But you had a feeling that your paths would cross again.

“I already said no.” You called after him, raising your voice slightly.

He paused, turning his head slightly to glance back at you. “Go ask Dean Winchester why he agreed to work on this case.” He said cryptically. “And then you might change your mind, I’ll make sure to be there when you do.”

You furrowed your brows, puzzled by his words - but even what he said earlier didn’t make more sense than that. What did Dean have anything to do with this? And why was this stranger so confident that you would eventually change your mind? Sure, Dean hadn’t been exactly the most cooperative person in the last couple of days, but he was making it look as if you couldn’t trust him.

“And before I forget,” He added suddenly. “You might want to go take a look at the bar down the road, see if you can find something interesting, take it as a little help from me.” With that, he turned and walked away. You swore that he vanished as soon as you blinked, but that was impossible… wasn’t it?

Your feet moved before your brain could properly process his words, and you started to head towards the place he told you to go to. It’s true you didn’t have positive vibes regarding that man whose name you didn’t know, but so far he only said things you knew were real, more or less, so you thought it wasn’t a bad idea to go see for yourself what he was referring to.

You hurried down the streets, the sounds of laughter and clicking glasses growing louder as you approached. Hesitating at the entrance, you took a deep breath before pushing the wooden door open, the little bell above it chiming softly. The noise went unnoticed by most of the people in there, except two men who glanced your way and left the second you entered.

The smell of alcohol and smoke was thick, but you ignored it as you scanned the room. No familiar faces met your gaze, and some doubts began to creep in. Perhaps the most logical reason was that the stranger had been toying with you all along. You shook your head, feeling foolish for trusting him even for a moment. Turning to leave, you prepared to step back into the street hoping to not meet any other idiot that was going to mess with your ideas.

Except that then, out of the corner of your eye, you spotted a familiar face sitting alone in the farthest corner of the room.

Bucky Barnes. He was hunched over a drink, his eyes low as he watched the liquid twirl before taking a sip of it. Relief washed over you upon seeing that he was unharmed, but it was quickly replaced by that very same anger you had for the whole day. He had left you worried this whole time while he was there, drinking his problems away - and he didn’t have the excuse of being drunk because you knew it was physically impossible for him to be.

You weaved your way through the crowded bar, your eyes firm on him. With each step closer he seemed to feel your presence, as he looked up from his glass his eyes found yours in no time. His posture visibly stiffened and a flicker of surprise crossed his face as you dropped into the chair across from him, not so kindly.

“Nice to see you too.” He muttered, barely glancing up.

“You left me worried sick.” You snapped, your voice low but intense in order not to have people overhear the conversation. “I called and texted thinking the worst had happened and you were here drinking? What the fuck is your problem?”

“I needed some time alone, alright?” He said dismissively, taking another sip.

“Time alone?” You scoffed. “You could have at least let me know you were okay, for fuck’s sake. Cassandra said some hurtful things while, mind you, she was scared for her life and you disappeared for hours? We have a damn case to solve, Bucky, people are counting on us.”

He shrugged, still not meeting your eyes. “Believe it or not, I have been working. Didn’t think it mattered whether you knew or not.”

“Didn’t think it-” You cut yourself off, pinching the bridge of your nose. “We’re a team, Bucky. When one of us bails, if affects everyone. We lost a day because apparently I’m paired up with people that run away when things aren’t convenient anymore.”

“How did you even find me?” He tilted his head, ignoring your outburst. “You have the worst sense of orientation I’ve ever seen. Didn’t know you knew the city.”

“I don’t, a man told me where you were.”

“A man?” He raised a brow, his skepticism evident. “You made new friends already? That’s great, honey. Socializing is good for you.”

You blinked a few times, taken aback at his nonchalance. You had just told him that a stranger had essentially been following him, and that was his reaction? His dismissive attitude left your dumbfounded to say the least.

“You’re getting on my nerves.” You said, your patience wearing thin. Not that it was great before.

“Do you know how to get back home?” He asked, not even being fazed by what you said.

“Yes.” You responded, barely masking your irritation.

“Then go.” He said, waving you off. “I’ll get back later.”

He glanced to his left, and your eyes followed his gaze. You immediately understood the reason behind his attitude, and you were not happy in the slightest about it. Dalia emerged from the bathroom, heading straight to your table.

Now that you looked down, you noticed two glasses of whiskey instead of one, and one of them had lipstick mark on it. Of course, that made sense.

“Harry.” She said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Didn’t know your wife was going to join us tonight.” Her fake smile grated on your nerves.

“She was just about to leave, actually.” Bucky said, giving you a look that clearly said, ‘do as I say.’ “Isn’t that right, honey?”

You felt a surge of anger at his blatant disregard, clenching your jaw at the way he was acting and at the way she was smirking. “Sure.” You replied sarcastically, standing up. “After all, I wouldn’t want to ruin the night.”

Dalia’s smirk widened as she slid into your seat not even a second after you moved, not hiding the fact she was happy you would leave. “So nice of you, Jade. You know, me and your husband have a lot in common, I might steal him from you.” She chuckled at her own words.

You narrowed your eyes at Dalia’s taunting remark, her words grating on your last nerve. “Ah, good luck with that.” You retorted, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m sure you’ll have a blast with his mood changes.”

Bucky shot you a glare, but you ignored it. “Sweetheart.” He said, the nickname anything but sweet. “Get home safe, I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, I promise I’ll be nice to him.” Dalia chimed in, leaning back on the chair. “Or not.” She added, winking at him.

You gritted your teeth, struggling to maintain your composure at her clearly flirting with your fake husband. “Have fun.” You simply muttered out, noticing how Bucky stopped meeting your gaze a while ago - instead, he was looking at his empty glass of whiskey.

“We will.” She said, waving at you with that annoying smile on her face.

You turned on your heel and headed towards the door, ignoring the tension in the air behind you. As you stepped out, into the cool night air, a mixture of frustration and hurt made their way in your stomach. You didn’t know why you were feeling so pissed at her being there with him, but you imagined it was because he had been doing God knows what all day with the neighbor’s daughter when you had a fucking case to solve.

Pushing aside your emotions, you finally walked back home hoping to remember the way to go there, walking quickly to put as much distance as you could between yourself and the scene inside the bar.

To think you were actually starting to like the guy now that your issues were kind of solved, but maybe Bucky wasn’t really the right person you wanted as a friend if he was willing to jeopardize the mission for a woman he met a few days ago.

You finally arrived home, the exhaustion weighing heavy on your shoulder as you shut close the door behind you. Tossing your coat onto the couch still completely in the dark, since you were too drained to bother with the lights, all you craved was a shower and some sleep due to the late hour and the events of the day. However, it seemed that fate had other plans.

As you made your way towards the stairs, the doorbell pierced the silence. With a scoff, you retraced your steps and swung the the door open, only to be met with the sight of the infuriating man in black, his grin widening at the sight of your irritation.

“I told you he was having fun.” He remarked, relishing in your obvious displeasure. “Did I not?”

“More than me for sure.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, well… men are weak. Give them a beautiful woman and they’ll forget about their duties. If you need help, real help with this case, I’m offering it. You just need to say yes.”

“No.” You said again, firmly.

“You’re as stubborn as your mother.”

Your heart stopped at that. “My- my what?”

“Mother.” He repeated casually as if dropping that bombshell on you was just another walk in the park for him. “What? Did you think you popped out of nowhere?” He grinned, using the knowledge he had about your past - past you didn’t even know - to manipulate you into joining him.

You struggled to find the right words to respond, but your brain couldn’t process anything concrete.

“Oh, I’ve got your attention for real now, don’t I? Little Emma wants to know about her mother more than you want help for this case. Selfish, I love it.”

You met his gaze with steely silence, refusing to give him the satisfaction of acknowledging he was right. He had been right the whole time, if we want to be honest, and in the back of your mind you kept thinking about his words as if there was a little devil on your shoulder that was telling you to listen to him. It was clear now that he knew how to find you, who you were and what you wanted… which wasn’t really great news.

You simply shut the door on his face, and you hoped for a moment of peace - but even that was short lived. The doorbell chimed once more, prompting you to hurry back, only this time you had your gun in hand, ready to get rid of the stranger once and for all.

As you opened the door again with your finger firmly on the trigger, you quickly realized that there was no need to use violence that time. Instead, you lowered your hand with clear surprise and relief on your face, your expression softening as you took the unexpected sight before you.

“Woah, calm down.” A familiar voice remarked, her eyebrows raised at your defensive stance. “A bit on edge, are we? Let me in and explain everything, I’m here to help.”

“Natasha.” You greeted, moving aside to let her in.

Finally someone who didn’t get on your nerves.

[metalnecklace]

Forgive My Northern Attitude

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader

Words: 6298

Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Minor Character Death, Smut, Unprotected Sex (p in v, wrap it up folks), Oral (f receiving)

Notes: Here’s a little something I wrote today to take a break from my Javi fic! I have a part two already planned but won’t get to it for a little while (who knows, though. This just happened on a whim). Title is inspired by Northern Attitude by Noah Kahan, he is also who inspired my other fic title. I was just listening to the song and this entire fic mapped itself out in my head.

Summary: Joel is a man of few words, with only so much room in his heart.

Masterlist

Part II

2003

Six thirty. It was six thirty and he was late.

I was exhausted, the sun was too much for me that day, and Joel was supposed to pick up his truck half an hour ago.

When I was about to reach for the phone to give him a call I heard the telltale rumble of Tommy’s truck. I rolled my eyes and walked out to the parking lot, waving my hand in front of my face to clear the dust his tires kicked up as Tommy rolled down the window of his truck.

“Hey there, darlin’,” he drawled as Joel got out of the passenger side. “How are you this fine evening?”

“I’d be much better if you assholes weren’t late!” I scolded, but the smile on my face betrayed my annoyance.

Joel sauntered over and clapped me on the shoulder. “Sorry, (Y/N). The job didn’t go as planned today, is all.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I continued to fake my frustration with the older man in front of me. “Just don’t let it happen again. You know I got a longer drive home than you.”

Joel laughed, and Tommy piped up, “that’s your own fault for wanting to live, how did you put it? ‘Among nature’?”

“Oh, screw off, Tommy!” I called out. “Beats living anywhere near your ass!”

I ignored anymore comments from Tommy and held Joel’s keys up for him to take. “How’s it runnin’ now?”

I shrugged. “Pretty smooth. I changed out the right front calipers and rebalanced the tires. Should feel good as new. If only it smelled like it.”

He smiled at me, my heart stuttering. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” I smiled back.

Tommy got out of his truck, fed up with us ignoring him. “How’s Freddy doing?”

My older brother, Freddy, was how I met Joel and Tommy. They had worked together for years after him and Tommy fought together. The three of them were quite close, and when Tommy’s truck broke down one day Freddy suggested they take it to me, a new up and coming mechanic in the town. I had just started my own business and although most men were too ashamed to bring their vehicles in for a woman to fix them, Joel and Tommy didn’t give a shit. It didn’t hurt that Joel was easy on the eyes, too.

The four of us had continued to grow closer through barbecues, broken down trucks, baked goods, and especially when Freddy was diagnosed with lung cancer a year ago. I had moved him in with me so he was surrounded by fresh air and nature, and we took turns taking care of him when he needed it. Trips to the hospital, company on rainy days, walks when he felt up to it. Joel and Tommy were just as patient with him and his recovery as I was, if not more.

“Not too bad. He’s quite tired these days with the chemo, but he stays pretty hopeful!” I took a clean rag out of my back pocket and used it to wipe the sweat from the back of my neck. “I was actually wondering if you guys would like to come over for a barbecue this weekend. Freddy would love to see you.”

“That’d be great! We can do a belated birthday celebration!” Tommy exclaimed, clapping Joel on the back which caused him to roll his eyes.

I laughed at Joel’s exasperation. “That’s right. Any plans for the big day tomorrow?”

Joel shook his head, shooting his brother a glare. “Nah, I gotta work. Sarah wants to do something but you know how it is.”

“Sure do,” I said. “Well, we’ll have to celebrate more this weekend, then.”

We said our goodbyes and the boys left me to close up the shop. The thirty minute drive home was peaceful, my broken radio leaving me in a nice silence until I pulled into my driveway. My house was modest, a bungalow which was perfect for Freddy’s energy levels, but I had moved mostly for the scenery. There was something about being surrounded by trees that made me feel at peace.

Freddy was washing up a few dishes when I walked in. The house smelled strongly of fresh bread and my mouth watered immediately upon entry. Because of long hours of rest, Freddy had started baking to pass the time. He found it was low enough energy, plus he got a treat out of it when his appetite allowed.

“Wow, that smells amazing,” I sighed, following the smell to the oven.

“Don’t you dare touch a thing!” He turned, catching me before I could open the oven. “They’re still rising and I do not want you messing them up. If you’re lucky I’ll make you a sandwich for work in the morning.”

I rolled my eyes, a smile on my lips. “Thanks, Freddy. How’re you feeling?”

He turned back the sink and let the water drain out before shrugging. “Same old. Okay, not great.���

Freddy was four years older than me, and four years younger than Joel. Him and Tommy were the middle tether in our group, and they were the heart too. Even when Freddy wasn’t feeling his best he tried his hardest not to show it. I knew him well enough, though.

“Why don’t we put on a movie? I’ll go shower while you pick,” I offered, hoping he didn’t realize I just didn’t want him exerting too much energy.

He just nodded and turned to the living room. I caught the way his eyes were glassy but said nothing.

By the time I finished showering Freddy had fallen asleep on the couch. He had chosen a movie I hadn’t even heard of before, the title screen frozen on our television, but I didn’t want to wake him. I laid a blanket over him, tucking it around his frail shoulders, and went into the kitchen to find something to eat. I opened the fridge but after staring blankly at the leftovers inside I decided to just call it a night.

The next morning was a rush. I had slept through my alarm and was running late. Freddy was in his bed sleeping away so I left a note telling him I’d be back in time for supper. On the way to work I realized that I had forgotten to make myself a sandwich with Freddy’s fresh bread, and grumbled to myself about how stupid I was for the rest of the drive.

When I got to my work I saw Joel’s truck parked in the driveway. I marched over and opened up the back door, finding the key tucked away under the floor mat, and got into the front. A post-it note was stuck onto the middle of the steering wheel with his chicken scratch scrawled onto it.

Check engine light came on halfway home, figured you’d want to look at it.

I groaned and thumped my head against the horn, causing it to let out a pathetic beep.

The rest of the day went by smoothly, and I was true to my word, arriving home in time for supper. Freddy was in good spirits, and had spent his day making mashed potatoes, roasted carrots, and chicken. We had run out of flour when he was making bread so he couldn’t make the gravy he had wanted to, but I reassured him his cooking was amazing no matter what.

We watched the movie we had planned to watch the night before, both of us surprisingly staying awake for it, and then got ready for bed. The phone rang as I finished brushing my teeth and I raced to the kitchen to get it before it stopped.

“(Y/N)?” Joel said before I could even say hello.

“Hey. What’s wrong, Joel?” I asked, leaning against the counter top.

“Are you and Freddy okay?” He sounded out of breath.

“Of course. What’s going on?” My brows were furrowed, which Freddy noticed when he walked into the kitchen. He was eating a sandwich with the leftover chicken.

“Listen to me very carefully.” His voice was shaky, but firm. I held on to every word. “Stay inside. Lock every door and window. Get into your basement if you can, into the room with no windows. Tommy and I are getting Sarah out of the city, then we’ll be back for you and Freddy, okay? If we aren’t back by this time tomorrow night then you need to get yourselves out. Got it?”

“Joel, what’s goin-“

“Got it?!” He growled.

“Yes, yes I got it.” The phone trembled in my hand.

“Good.”

Then he was gone.

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong?” Freddy asked.

I hung up the phone. “We need to get to the basement. Now.”

Freddy made his way to the basement while I ran around locking up the house. I also made sure to grab a backpack with a few extra clothes and toiletries just in case we’d be down there longer.

When I got to the basement I locked us into the one guest room we had. It was an unfinished room, with no windows, which made me feel grateful that there were usually no guests to stay in the room. Joel never stayed over because he didn’t want to leave Sarah alone, and Tommy usually passed out on the couch.

I looked at Freddy who was sitting on the unmade bed in the corner of the room. He was still eating his sandwich. I raised my eyebrow at him.

“What? I never have an appetite with the chemo, you know that.” He took a bite and proceeded to talk with his mouth full of bread. “I gotta take advantage when I’m actually hungry.”

I rolled my eyes and set my bag on the ground. “Whatever you say, Fred. You should get some sleep when you’re done, I don’t think I’ll be able to. Plus you need it.”

“Yeah, yeah, mom.” He grumbled, taking the last bite of his food. “You know, you should really start taking care of yourself the way you take care of me.”

My head snapped up as I focused on him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You work yourself to the bone, you never let yourself have a break, or any fun.” He laid down and grabbed a blanket that was folded up at the bottom of the bed to cover himself up with.

“Of course I work hard, I have to pay the bills, you know.” I felt bad as soon as the words left my mouth. I didn’t want him to feel like a burden, and never spoke about the cost of his treatment. I continued talking to get past it. “And I do have fun!”

He rolled his head to face me. “When?”

I thought for a moment. “Well… our barbecue is this weekend, that’ll be fun.”

“That brings me to my next point.” He continued on. “When are you ever gonna make a move on that man?”

My heart stopped. “What man?”

He snorted. “You know very well what man. I see the way you look at him, and he looks at you a little too often for my liking.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, he’s not interested,” I slid down the wall I had been standing against so I could sit down. “And he works so hard taking care of Sarah, I know that’s his first priority. I could never do anything to screw that up.”

He shook his head and turned so his back was facing me. “Whatever you say, (Y/N).”

I chuckled. “Good night, Freddy. Love you.”

“Love you too, (Y/N). Wake me if anything happens.”

As Freddy drifted off to sleep I found myself drifting off into my own dream world. My thoughts wandered to Joel, and I kept myself busy thinking about what life would be like if I allowed myself to indulge in this fantasy Freddy seemed to want me to.

My aching neck brought me out of my thoughts enough for me to realize I had fallen asleep. Freddy still laid on the bed, and I was still in my position on the floor but slumped over. I slowly stood up, stretching out my aching back and legs, then shivered. The basement had gotten cool in the night and my thin pajamas weren’t enough. I rummaged through my bag and pulled out a hoodie and jeans and changed, then decided to throw on the sneakers I had grabbed last minute too. I wasn’t sure exactly what Joel had been talking about, but I guessed I should get ready for anything.

I cracked open the door and noticed the sun had started rising outside. My stiff back and the new light confirmed that I had actually slept for quite a while. I turned to look at Freddy only to find him already turned over looking at me.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” I greeted. “Joel and Tommy aren’t here yet, hopefully soon.”

I looked back out, but when I didn’t hear a response from Freddy I turned back to him. He was still looking at me, but his eyes seemed different. I couldn’t tell if there was something wrong or if it was just from the dim light of the lamp we had on in the corner of the room.

“Freddy?” I stepped closer. “You okay?”

He moaned, his mouth opening at a weird angle, then his body twitched under the blankets. I jumped back.

“Freddy, what the fuck?!” I pushed the door open so I could keep putting space between us.

He leapt out of the bed faster than I had seen him move since before he got sick. I bolted for the door to the stairs and got out just before he got to me. I slammed the door and locked it, racing up the stairs as fast as I could while the door was getting smashed to pieces behind me.

I got up to the kitchen and paused, panting, trying to get my brain to stop spinning just enough to come up with a plan. My heart was pounding almost too loud to hear the door get obliterated as Freddy finally busted out. I ran to the stairs leading up to my room and climbed them as fast as I could. I was almost to the top when I was grabbed from behind and thrown down to the bottom. My head hit the floor hard enough to cause my vision to spin for a moment before settling on Freddy at the top of the stairs.

I didn’t recognize the thing that used to be my brother. My entire body ached and was frozen in fear as he came down the stairs and hovered over me. He screamed and moved toward me just as the front door was kicked in. The sound of a gunshot rang through my ears and I watched as Freddy’s blood splattered against the wall beside us. I turned to see Joel holding the gun, blood covering his hands, arms, torso, and face, as he stalked toward Freddy, who was still standing somehow and screaming at Joel.

Tommy rushed in and ran to my side, helping me off the floor. I limped beside him as he pulled me toward the front door. Before we left completely I turned to Joel.

“(Y/N)!” Tommy called.

“No!” I screamed at the same time as Joel pulled the trigger.

I watched as Freddy’s face was completely blown off and painted across the wall behind him. His body fell limp, and thudded onto the wood flooring. Tommy wrapped his arms around me and pulled me out of the house as I screamed and cried. My ears were ringing so hard I couldn’t even hear myself.

Joel turned around to face me, and the grief that was held in his eyes was enough for me to go limp in Tommy’s arms as he dragged me out to a car that they had running in the driveway.

“Tommy,” I managed to get out through my tears. “Tommy, who’s blood is that? On Joel? Who’s blood is that, Tommy?”

He helped me into the backseat, refusing to make eye contact.

I shook my head. “No, no, no, not hers. It can’t be.”

Tommy looked up at me, and I saw the answer in his face.

2004

“Joel?”

Tommy was still sound asleep in the passenger seat of our broken down truck, but I had been awoken from where I had been sleeping in the backseat by someone crying. The driver's seat, which had been occupied by Joel, was empty.

I opened the door and shuffled out quietly so I wouldn’t wake Tommy. My legs bent so I was lower to the ground just in case we weren’t alone, but a quick check around helped me see we were. I stood to my full height and searched for Joel.

Another sob broke through the night and I followed the sound to the edge of the woods. There, sitting against the trunk of a tree just out of sight from the truck, was Joel. He was hunched over himself, with his arms wrapped around his legs and his head hung down. His shoulders shook with the force of his tears, and all I wanted to do in that moment was wrap myself around him and protect him from the world.

“Joel?” I whispered, trying not to startle him.

He lifted his head and turned to face me. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and he looked exhausted.

“I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered, his voice absolutely wrecked. “I didn’t wake you did I?”

I shook my head. “No, you didn’t. I was already awake,” I lied. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I wasn’t the only one lying. “Just couldn’t sleep.”

I gestured to the spot on the ground, asking silent permission, and he nodded. It felt nice to sit next to him, his body warm compared to the hard earth underneath us. We sat for a moment in silence, though it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“I can’t stop seein’ her in my arms,” he said so softly into the night. “I close my eyes and it’s like a horror movie, this nightmare permanently playing behind my eyelids.”

“I know what you mean.” Joel and Tommy dealt with my nightmares for months, and even after they still knew to wake me before the screaming started in case I gave us away.

I leaned over and rested my head on Joel’s shoulder, and he rested his head on top of mine. I placed my hand on his knee, causing him to stiffen for a moment. Because of his reaction I pulled my hand away, only to have him reach out and grab my wrist. He clasped his hand in mine on his thigh and intertwined our fingers. I rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb and sighed.

The two of us sat out by that tree for the rest of the night, not saying anything, but understanding everything.

2006

“She just gets it,” Joel grumbled.

“And I don't?”

I stared at Joel who was refusing to look at me even though I had him cornered in his bedroom.

“You think I don’t get it? This loss that you’ve been dealing with? This fear?” I continued, hoping he’d at least look at me. “I watched you shoot my brother for fuck sake!”

He finally looked at me. It was the first time since I had caught him kissing Tess just moments ago in the place where he was standing.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice so low if I hadn’t seen his lips move I wouldn’t have thought he said a thing.

I shook my head. “I’m leaving, Joel.”

He furrowed his brows, taking a step toward me. I took one back.

“I can’t do this. All I’ve wanted was for you to let me in, especially since Tommy left. Now it’s just you and Tess. There’s no room for me anymore.” I turned to walk away but he reached out and grabbed my upper arm.

“Don’t, please,” he pleaded with me. “You can’t, you won’t make it. Where will you even go?”

I wrenched my arm out of his grip. “I’m going to find Tommy.”

“Please,” he whispered.

“Fuck you, Joel.” I snarled.

I slammed his door behind me and took off, hoping I’d never lay eyes on Joel Miller ever again.

2023

There was news of newcomers in Jackson, although the rumour was they weren’t staying long. I was still intrigued, since it wasn’t often Tommy accepted people in so easily when they weren’t in dire need of assistance. People were saying they were just passing through.

I wanted to know who would pass through freely without wanting to stay, and who Tommy would allow to come and go so easily. I should have stayed curious. Instead, I decided to check out who the fuss was all about.

What I wasn’t expecting was to see Joel traveling with a young girl. I walked into Tommy’s office expecting to greet strangers, only to be face to face with the one man I never thought I’d see again. Had hoped I would never see again. Had wished late at night, when my only company was my thoughts, that I would one day see again.

“Joel?” I asked, the shock on my face was enough to make Tommy chuckle.

Joel whipped around at the sound of my voice and his face looked like he saw a ghost. He looked good, but different. Broader, grayer, rougher around the edges. But he still looked tired and saddled with grief.

“(Y/N),” he said matter of factly, as if he was just stating that I was there in case he didn’t believe it.

We stood frozen in the moment, the air electric between us. The young girl’s eyes flickered back and forth until she stepped forward offering her hand to me.

“I’m Ellie,” she smiled as if she was harmless but I saw the mischievous twinkle in her eye.

I shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Ellie.”

“I can’t believe you found Tommy.” Joel spoke again, his voice rougher than before but still him. “I thought I would never see you again.”

I shrugged. “Would that have been such a bad thing?”

Joel’s eyes darkened, his mouth set in a line. Tommy cleared his throat and explained what they were doing in Jackson. I was told that Joel would be taking Ellie to a firefly base. That Ellie was like cargo.

“She’s cargo?” I asked. “Why?”

“Long story,” Joel cut in, glaring at Tommy for telling me anything about their plans. “We’re headin’ out soon.”

“Where’s Tess?” I asked before thinking, even though I had a feeling.

Joel turned away from me completely. Tommy looked at me and I knew. My mouth formed a silent O. I felt bad, obviously. I really did like Tess even though Joel had chosen her instead of me. That wasn’t her fault and she was a strong willed woman who was full of heart. But I was also aware of the dangers that remained in the world, and the horrors that some people just couldn’t escape. No matter how tough they were.

Maria came in with some food for our guests. “Tommy there’s a commotion outside, you might wanna go deal with it.”

“Alright, I’ll be back in a bit.” Tommy grabbed his jacket and started to head out the door.

Joel took one look at me before reaching out to stop Tommy. “I’ll come with you, just in case you need some back up.”

Tommy laughed and shook his head. “Always the big brother, aren’t you?”

The two men walked out the room and left us alone. Maria was looking at me with her eyebrow raised.

“What?”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “I won’t get into it, especially in front of Ellie, but you know what.”

Tommy was no fool, he knew how I felt about Joel, and he shared everything with Maria.

“Into what?” Ellie asked, looking between the two of us.

“Nothing,” I muttered. “You should eat, Ellie.”

They sat down to eat while I went to leave. Maria got up and walked over placing her hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you stay? Talk to us for a bit. Then you can say goodbye to Joel before they head out again.”

The way she was looking at me told me I should stay, that he may not be back. I lowered my eyes.

“I don’t think that’s the best idea.” I called out, “it was nice meeting you, Ellie!” Then headed back to my house.

I had already said goodbye to Joel Miller years ago, I certainly didn’t need to again.

2024

He was back. Word traveled fast, and I made sure to stay hidden away. I was surprised that he had not only made it to his destination, but he also made it back. He had the girl with him too.

I was supposed to be on patrol that day but decided to get someone to cover me. There was no way I could even leave my house for fear that I may see him. When I told Maria she just shook her head and dismissed me, probably thinking I was no better than a child instead of a woman in her forties.

Not even a day went by before there was a knock at my door. My hands shook and my stomach was doing flips the entire walk to where my visitor waited, and when I opened the door I felt my heart stop.

“Joel,” I breathed.

“Hi, (Y/N).” His broad shoulders took up most of the light coming in through the doorway, and his face remained stoic through the relief in his voice.

“You made it.”

He nodded, a man of few words.

I stepped back, allowing him through the doorway. He made his way inside the living room and wandered around, looking at the pictures and knick knacks I collected throughout my time in Jackson. He came to a stop in front of a picture of a paint mare looking out at the desert landscape.

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I asked, coming to stand next to him. His arms were crossed over his chest, the same as mine were, and when he shuffled to one side we bumped elbows, causing us both to stiffen.

“What’re you doing here, Joel?”

He sighed, turning to walk toward the couch, though he did not sit down. “Ellie and I are gonna stay in Jackson. Live here.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” I walked to the kitchen and grabbed two glasses. “Still a whiskey man, I take it?”

He grunted in response as I poured two fingers each.

“I don’t have a lot to offer, but I raided an old shop about a month ago and found some liquor. I’m shocked it wasn’t claimed but I know better than to ask questions.” I put the jar of the amber liquid back in my cupboard and walked to where he was finally seated on the couch. “You’re lucky I’m even offering you some, I’d like to save it.”

“Well, thanks.” He took a sip and relaxed back into the cushions. His eyes closed almost involuntarily as soon as the alcohol touched his lips. He drained his cup and leaned forward to set it on the table.

“I was assuming you’d savor that a bit more but okay.” I shrugged and took a sip of my own drink.

“I fucked up.” He said, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. “With Ellie. I fucked up really bad.”

I went and sat beside him, placing my glass down next to his. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think, Joel. What happened?”

“I can’t tell you. Not yet, anyway.” He scrubbed his hands down his face, then turned to me. I could see the exhaustion in his eyes, hanging off his shoulders. “I’m just so tired of tryin’ to keep my head down and survive, only to mess things up and hurt other people. People I genuinely care about.”

“Is Ellie okay?” I was concerned, especially since I wasn’t exactly sure what happened to Tess.

“Yeah. Yeah, she’s fine.”

“Then that’s all that matters for right now.” I placed my hand on his knee and he melted into my touch. “You both survived, and you’re here now. You’re safe.”

Joel’s shoulders trembled, and I could tell he was holding everything in. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close so his face was buried in my neck. He still didn’t let himself cry, but he let himself be held and that was good enough for me. For the both of us.

“Where’s Ellie now?” I whispered against his graying hair, scared of breaking the spell cast over us.

“She’s staying at Tommy and Maria’s. They have a room for the both of us, but I told them I was comin’ to see you first.” His voice vibrated against my neck, sending shivers down to my toes.

I rubbed my hand up his back and down again, repeating the motion until we had fully relaxed against each other. Eventually the room darkened as the sun set, and I pulled away from him. I stood and offered my hand out to him. He raised his eyebrow at me but slid his hand in mine, standing to his full height. We walked silently to my bedroom and I left him standing on one side of the bed so I could make my way to the other.

“(Y/N)?” He seemed so shy, so nervous. Not at all like the Joel I used to know before the outbreak.

“Just get in, Joel. You look exhausted.”

He sighed and did as I asked. Luckily he looked like he had showered and put on some of Tommy’s clean clothes before he visited. So I wasn’t worried about him getting my bed dirty. I chuckled at the fact that he didn’t take off his jeans, causing him to roll his eyes and slide them off under the blankets.

I went into my bathroom to put my hair up and change into a t-shirt and sleep shorts, and was pleased to see that Joel had taken off his flannel shirt so he was also in a t-shirt. I slid under the covers with him, and we laid side by side in the dark. It was awkward at first, until I rolled to face him and scooted closer.

“Hi,” I said.

He turned his head to look at me. “Hi.”

I smiled, causing him to mirror my actions. He stretched his arm up, helping me maneuver my head so he was my cushion, and he pulled me close. We fell asleep with our arms around each other, feeling like we hadn’t been apart for as long as we were.

The sun started to shine through my curtains in the early morning, causing my eyes to blink open. My back was facing Joel and his arm was still in the same place as before, his other draped over my waist. I felt at peace for the first time since the outbreak, and probably since before then too. For a moment I wondered if that’s what I had been missing all those years, if that was what it would have been like if Joel had let me in sooner. If I had admitted my feelings to him sooner.

He groaned and pressed himself against me. “Mornin’,” he said, sleep heavy in his voice.

“Morning.” I turned in his arms so I could watch him. His eyes were closed but the bags that hung down from them the night before seemed to not be as deep.

When Joel opened his eyes I felt my breath catch in my throat. The deep pools of them threatened to pull me under if I let them. And I wanted to let them so bad.

“Why are you here, Joel?” I asked. “What do you want?”

He sighed, his eyes flickering down to my lips before coming back to mine. Butterflies erupted in my stomach yet again.

I asked once more. “What do you want, Joel?”

“You.”

I didn’t even realize we had moved toward each other until our lips connected. His hand that was on my back came up to cradle the back of my head, moving me how he needed so our angle worked better.

His body weighed me down, keeping me grounded, as he slowly moved over top of me. My hands went into his hair, tugging him closer, causing him to moan in my mouth. I slid my hands down to his back and he pulled away so he could grab them and place them above my head. He kissed his way down my neck and chest, then helped me sit up so he could remove my shirt. The cool air caused goosebumps on my skin and pebbled my now exposed nipples, but he wasn’t looking anywhere but in my eyes.

“Is this okay? We can stop.”

I shook my head and pulled him in for a kiss. “Don’t you dare, Joel Miller.”

He smiled against my lips, kissing me once more before making his way back down my body. He pulled one of my nipples into his mouth, teasing the bud with his teeth, and then moved to the next one, repeating his actions. I moaned and writhed under his ministrations, wishing he’d move faster.

Joel’s lips mapped their way down my stomach, to my lower abdomen, and then skipped over my shorts to plant kisses on my thighs. His calloused hands slid up and down my calves, the heat from them warming my blood, a blush forming on my chest. He slid his hands up the inside of my thighs, and his thumbs brushed over where my shorts were covering my core. I bucked my hips slightly, making him hold me down.

“Patience, darlin’,” he drawled against my inner thigh. “Let’s get these off of you before they get ruined.”

I lifted my hips as he slid my shorts down my legs and threw them onto the floor, exposing me fully. My thighs tried to close but his strong hands pried them open.

“Let me see you, sweetheart. There we go.” He flattened himself onto the bed and gripped my hips with his arms, pinning me in place. “You’re so beautiful.”

His tongue parted my lips and swirled around my clit. His fingers brushed against my opening before he sunk one inside. I groaned at the feeling, his fingers thicker than mine, and they reached where I certainly couldn’t. My whole body felt like it was on fire as he made out with my clit, sucking it into his mouth and pressing the flat of his tongue against it.

“Joel,” I moaned into the air. He hummed against me, the vibrations making my eyes roll back. I gripped the sheets, feeling my orgasm approaching like a runaway train.

He slid another finger in, lowering his head so his tongue fucked into me between his fingers and his nose rubbed against my clit. The sounds were filthy as they reached my ears, and it took no time at all for my pleasure to rip through me. His name was a prayer that spilled from my lips over and over until my body melted against the bed.

I pushed his head out from between my legs, the sensitivity suddenly too much, and pulled him up so I could kiss him. The taste of me mixed with the smell of him was to die for, and we moaned into each other's mouths.

“I need you,” he panted once we broke apart. “I’ve needed you for so long.”

“I know,” I kissed him, “I know. I need you, too. I’ve needed you since I first met you.”

“Fuck, darlin’. You’re gonna be the death of me.”

I helped him out of his clothes, tracing over the scars that littered his torso and making him whine into my mouth when I stroked his cock slowly. It hardened even more under my touch, and precum beaded from the tip when I teased it over my soaking wet core.

Joel pushed himself inside slowly, so slowly I felt I would fall apart. When he was fully inside me I let my head fall back. He leaned down and kissed my neck, just behind my ear, and nipped the skin.

“Joel, I need you,” I nearly sobbed, using my hands to try and pull him even closer.

“I got you, sweetheart, I got you.” He buried his face even deeper into my neck and held me so close he was barely pulling out of me.

We moved together, moaned together, and finally, with a little help from his fingers wedged between us, we came together. Our names mingled with our breaths, and then we held each other in the fresh light of the new morning.

He held me in his arms, my back to his front, and he whispered sweet nothings into my ear until I felt sleep pull me under once more. After a little while there was a shift in the bed that caused me to start waking up again. My eyes opened when I realized Joel’s warmth was no longer behind me, and I sat up to see where he would be. His clothes weren’t on the floor, even his jeans and flannel, and there wasn’t any sound from the bathroom. My heart sank the more I realized where he was.

My worries were confirmed as I heard my front door close in the distance.

[eggtartz]

Angry/Souya meeting the reader who always smiles all the time just like Shinobu, (not a Shinobu reader, just a example :D) Like she's smiling everytime, the smile never leaves her face😭

but when she got Angry she literally has veins popping out of her face and she's REALLY strong. And she started to catch Souya eyes but other members also are into her, AND SMILEY IS TOO😲🤭

Things are about to get spicy 👀🔥

a/n : forgive me this might not be as good as my other writings, i wrote this while crying. thankyou anon for requesting and enjoy 🫶🏻

summary : "she's.. just like anikii" - souya kawata

you met souya first time when he was at the local shop, picking up stuff for the toman gathering that evening. he couldn't choose between the soba noodles or ramen noodles for that night and you said from behind him.

"soba tastes better cold, ramen tastes better hot. if you're expecting someone to like come right away, ramen might taste better. but the night is gonna be chilly tonight so soba is better then right?" you said while taking the same soba and ramen packaging from the shelf and grinned at him. bizzare for a woman, especially a sweet woman like you to talk to him considering he's nowhere attractive.

"yeah, uh. soba might be better" he stuttered a bit that made you smile more. you then pushed your trolley and walked pass him. as he was about to pay, he saw you and you accidentally met his eyes too. you instantly bloomed a smile at him and waving him goodbye as you exited the store.

back at the shrine, toman was having a barbeque and a simple gathering between divisions. that night, souya was sitting in a circle with the other captain and vice divisions. the other members were chatty but his thought went to think about you. your smile was really pretty, he thinks that's the first time a girl smiled so sweetly at him. girls never looked at him as he always looked angry, giving more attention to nahoya instead.

"anikii, i saw a girl today" he blurted. the members went silent.

"what?"

"when?"

"oooo he has a girlfriend now? ooo.."

"i knew souya would have a girlfriend one day, good job souya kun!"

"who's the girl? who is it c'mon spill spill!"

the members interrogated him when he doesn't know much about you. just your smile was charming and he loves your smile so much.

"let's go back to the store then maybe she'll be there, then we all can meet her!" mikey said with a grin but draken frowned. "the girl would be terrified. let them settle down first and make everything official then we could introduce ourselves"

the members agreed and everyone went to the store souya mentioned. they were parked at the furthest spot, where no one could see them if they don't squint enough. "okay souya kun, signal us when she's here okay?" mitsuya talked through the phone while waving a thumb at souya who was standing at the entrance.

souya gave a thumbs back. in a second thought, he actually wanted to back out thinking it was rash of him to do this just to meet her again. but he stayed there and waited for you. any sign of you. he saw cars speeding up and parked but the passenger or the driver wasn't you. he kept waiting but grew hesitant again. he was worried he was going to make a fool out of himself.

he heard an engine sound that died down nearby and saw the rider had a helmet with a tinted visor. "wait it's you! hi stranger!" the person behind the helmet exclaimed. he recognized that voice, it was you. taking off the helmet, you ruffled your hair and switched off the motorcycle engine. "uh hi. i wanted to uh see you again so yeah" you thought he was really cute, veins popping but no sign he was angry at all. his facial expressions like he's furious but no tense energy at all from him. pulling his hand, you grabbed him inside the store.

"so i didn't catch your name? my name's y/n! and you are..?" you prolonged the question, extending your hand to shake his. "souya, kawata souya" he said while shaking hands with your soft hands. "nice meeting you souya, now i do think you're here not just to see me no? is there any else specific reason why you wanted to see me?" you teased him, making his veins bulge even more and him blushing even harder.

"well, i wanna bring you to eat somewhere sometime if you want?"

"sure"

"but you don't have to if- what?"

"you heard me. let's go grab something to eat now souya kun!" you smiled at him and pulled him to the parking lot and wore your helmet while climbing the bike. you giggled a lot on your way there, souya behind you struggling to place his hands. you two were about to enter when a girl rudely bumped into your shoulder. "what the hell? what's wrong with you" the girl raised your voice.

"excuse me? you're the one who bumped into me"

"huh? now you're blaming me? you wanna fight or something?" the girl challenged you but you deeply sighed and smiled at souya as a signal for him to go in first. souya went inside but was concerned until he saw the trash lid being thrown. you were still smiling but this time the smile holds a different meaning as you slap the girl's face with the trash lid. the glass that blocked the restaurant from outside muffled the sound but souya could hear the girls cries.

"she's.. just like anikii" souya said to himself.

meanwhile,

"oh! look at her, beating up the girl" pah said while trying not to gawk at you. "the girl's fault, shouldn't have touched her first" draken said, who was too in awe. nahoya didn't watch much but kept an eye on his brother so his brother won't cry or do anything drastic. nahoya was impressed with your strength no doubt, who knew behind those smiles was a person with a bad temper too?

"oh she's finally going in, can we go inside too there's ice cream there" mikey asked with sparkly eyes. the other members sighed and tried entering the restaurant subtlety. you noticed though, who wouldn't when pehyan was staring right at your soul?

you sent souya back home that late evening and said you had a great time. "i hope i can see you again y/n"

"of course. you have my number, just call me okay?" you said behind the helmet. but then you took it off and pulled him close to you, then cupped his cheeks. you pecked his cheek, his forehead and his nose before releasing him. "goodbye souya, see you again!" you said while speeding up on the bike, disappearing on the streets.

souya couldn't move. nahoya shaked his shoulder. he couldn't move either. souya was a blushing mess, going in the house covering his face while his ear caught a lot of teasing from his brother.

[joannaliceevans-fanficblog]

You Will Find Me: Chapter 9.

Whoa it's been a hot minute since I wrote about these two! And sorry it's been a while! I had it in my drafts for long time, and I just wasn't happy with it...until now!

Also, this series almost coming to an end, with 4 more chapters left.

I know it's not one of biggest and popular series that I've written. But I love these two none the less, as it was one of my original OG fics.

Anyways, enough of me blabbing!

A big thanks to @hollybee8917 for betaing this!

Frank

It was late in the evening when Frank walked into the Inn. Beth was busy with the front desk, checking in the weekend guests. He looked around the lobby area, Sarah wasn’t anywhere in sight. Sighing, he headed to the restaurant and entered through the double doors. As he walked in, the whole place was in chaos due to the busy night. From there, he could see the bakery in full swing, and his beloved working. 

He noticed Sarah’s smile as she laughed with the bakers, helping them make some items. But it quickly disappeared when she looked up from piping whipped cream onto the fresh fruit cake, looking at him for a moment before returning to what she was doing.

Frank would have gone over to her, but he could tell she was still mad. So with one last sigh, he turned and left the Inn. As he gathered his luggage, a taxi came around, stopping to pick Frank up. As the taxi was driving out the driveway, for some reason, maybe hope, Frank turned around thinking that somehow Sarah had a change of heart and ran after him as in those romantic movies they would watch. Slowly though, the Inn was fading away from his sight as the driver continued on. Frank made one last attempt to call her but was sent straight to voicemail. He took a deep breath and left a voicemail.

“I hope we can figure things out and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. We have been through so much together to just let it all go. I will wait for you to come back to me.”

**

The following morning, Frank arrived at his family home, his parent’s driver, Mr. Davis, pulled into their driveway and opened the car door once he’d parked and shut the engine off. Frank got out to see his mother was standing there.

“Where’s Sarah?” Evelyn asked as Frank walked up to the front. He sighed and looked toward his mother.

“Back at the Inn,” he said and walked into the house.

“Something happened, didn’t it?” Evelyn asked, knowing that something did indeed happen before her son came to see her.

Frank paused and turned around, “Nothing-“

“She’s starting to remember everything, am I correct?” Evelyn asked.

“Mother, I came here to help you, not to be interrogated” Frank said, changing the subject.

“I know that and I’m grateful, but you know, you can’t keep that a secret forever. From the beginning I’ve told you to be honest with her -“

“Mother, I can, I will keep it from her. I love her, and she’s-“

“But you’re being selfish. You know she belongs to someone else. You know that-“

“Cut it, mother!” Frank yelled and headed upstairs to his old bedroom.

“Franklin Adler, you can’t hide from this! The truth will eventually come out!” His mother yelled, as the door slammed shut.

**

Sarah

Beep

Beep

The annoying sound of her alarm clock blared in her ear. Moaning, Sarah rolled over, picked up her phone, and swiped the red button. Looking through one eye, the time read 3:30 am. Placing her phone down, Sarah kicked the sheets off and got up. The cold immediately hit her, and she grabbed her robe from the chair in front of her. She wrapped it around her, tying it nice and snug. Yawning once more, Sarah went to the bathroom to do her business.

As she got to the bottom of the stairs, Sarah headed to the bar to make her morning latte. She knew that she was still in her robe, in her nightgown and still looked like sleep had won the battle, but she didn’t care.

“You’re up early.” Sarah heard a familiar voice, causing her to turn around, Sarah smiled at Beth.

“Oh Beth, you know I’m always awake at this time.” Sarah said as she put the first two shots into her cup.

“That’s true, but honey, is everything okay? You seem upset.” Beth asked as she took a seat at the bar. Sarah thought for a moment, debating on if she should tell Betty.

“Frank and I argued last night,” Sarah said quietly. 

Beth looked at her, knowing that something else was going on, but at the same time knowing that Sarah wasn't ready to tell the rest. Before Sarah could respond, the front desk phone rang, and Beth left to answer it.

**

Nat

While Steve took advantage of the boat tours, Natasha was sitting down in the lobby working on research. The kind lady at the front desk told Steve that Frank was out for the rest of the week and that their tour guide would be Lewis.

As Nat stared at her computer screen, she looked out to see that the sun was out amid clear skies. Smiling, Nat closed her laptop, packed everything, and headed out. It was warm as Nat strolled, a familiar voice was heard. As she continued to walk, the voice sounded more like a cry. Nat wanted to ignore it but the more she walked, the louder it got. The moment she got closer, the more familiar it became.

The woman sat on the bench, wiping her eyes as she wrapped her arms around her tight hoping the pain would go away. Nat then took a seat on the bench next to her. Not wanting to intrude, Nat gave her time to collect herself.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.” Nat heard her say. Nat noticed that she was looking for a tissue when Nat grabbed a handkerchief in her purse and extended her hand to her. The woman tried to decline her offer, but Nat insisted.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to.” The woman said as she dabbed her eyes, and Nat smiled.

“It’s not a problem,” Nat said. The two sat in silence for a moment until Nat turned towards the woman.

“You seem to be alone; wanna join me for lunch?” Nat asked. The woman looked at her for a moment and smiled.

“I would like that, but I don’t even know who-“

“I’m Natasha. But my friends call me Nat.” The woman looked at her for a second.

“That’s a pretty name; I’m Sarah.” She said with a smile.

**

During the walk to the restaurant, Nat asked if she'd been there before, knowing she already knew the answer but needed to play dumb for a bit. Sarah told Nat she was the owner of the Inn. Nat gave a surprised look and apologized.

“Oh, don’t be sorry, Nat, I don’t expect people to know unless they see the website. But I do own this place with my fiancée.” Sarah said she led Nat inside. Nat then watched as she talked to the hostess, bringing them to the outside patio and looking over the beachside. It was a bit chilly, but luckily, the heater was on.

“I have to ask, but if it’s too personal, you don’t have-“

“How did I meet Frank? It’s fine, and I get that question a lot. But to answer your question, Frank saved me. I was involved in a serious car accident, he was driving by. My car was down in a ditch.” Sarah said quietly.

Nat looked at her in shock; then she noticed the scarring on her face. The more Nat looked at her, the more she knew that there was something more to this story. For her car to go down into the ditch? There had to be something that caused it to be that bad, not even Neal remembered what really happened.

“Anyways, enough sappiness; what are you in the mood for?” Sarah asked. Shaking her head, Nat smiled and picked up the menu.

“Well, last night, I had the Salmon Parcells. Oh, this looks good. The Spring Citrus Strawberry Salad.” Nat said. Sarah laughed as she too placed her menu down.

“My sous chef and I made that one. Do you like Feta Cheese?” Sarah asked, making Nat smiled.

“Of course, it reminds me of an old friend I had.” Nat said sadly, and Sarah looked at her.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Then-“

“No, it’s okay. She’s not gone. We just-she went missing, and I miss her dearly but I know she will come back.” Nat said, smiling through her pain.

**

Andy

Andy stepped out of the bathroom after a nice relaxing shower. He’d had a long night last night trying to find more information on his wife’s whereabouts. Even being a successful ADA, Andy couldn’t for the life of him figure out why he was at a dead end. Everything was leading him in circles. As he changed, Andy saw the black box on his side of the bed. He knew what it was, he’d placed it there the night he returned to this house. Now and then, he would take it out, and her memories would come flooding his mind.

He sat on the bed, letting everything sink in. Andy looked at the ring and placed it onto his left hand without thinking it out. The moment he had it on, he felt an instant connection: her voice, scent, everything.

“I’m coming, sweetheart,” Andy said out loud.

Beep

Beep

His phone rang, disturbing his thoughts. He placed the box down and grabbed his phone from his side table. Steve was on his screen, and Andy picked up right away.

Steve, what’s up? Anything new?

Andy, I do have news. And you’re not going to believe what I found.”

[literarynerd]

Forgive me a moment as I wax poetic about the medical system in Canada.

Yesterday I had a very stressful day because my mom had an “episode”. It is very possible she had a mini-stroke, her father had them and so we are pretty familiar with them. I was with her when it happened and really freaked me the fuck out.

I insisted we were going to the hospital, and I got everything ready and we drove straight there. I live in a small city so it only took me about twenty minutes until we were walking into the emergency room, and about seven of those minutes was me updating the license plate and credit card information on their parking app.

We walked in and waited about ten minutes to talk to the first check-in nurse, we explained what happened, she took our names and said it would be a little while before she could do the initial check-in exam because there were a few people ahead of us, and she directed us to the waiting area. Within ten minutes she called my mom’s name. My mom went in for her exam, I tried really hard to pronounce her prescription medication names, and the nurse agreed that it was really good that my mom came in.

She said it would be a bit of a wait, but that they would get to her as soon as possible. I played a word game with my mom on our phones, partly to pass the time, and partly so I might know if she was having another episode.

It wasn’t super busy, but there were people walking in about every five minutes. There are signs posted around the waiting room explaining that the emergency room isn’t first come, first serve, and that they have to prioritize by need. My mom was called before any of the other people who came in around the same time as us, and we waited approximately half an hour until they called her into the examination area.

They got us settled in and I remember looking at my phone and seeing it was exactly an hour since I said we were going to the hospital. Another nurse came in and asked us why we were there, and my mom told her the details of what happened. I also told her what I witnessed because my mom was downplaying it a bit.

The nurse very patiently listened to both of us and said it was definitely good that we came in, she wrote down the details and said the doctor would be in to see my mom as soon as possible. We waited about half an hour. He came in and again asked us why we were there, we both gave a detailed account of what happened, he asked both of us detailed questions and said that it was really good that we came in.

He said that he wanted to run blood tests, and a CT scan, so we would be there for a while, but he wanted to see what was going on in her brain. My mom got blood tests, and then later she needed an IV put in her arm. The man who came to get her for the CT scan wanted her to go in a wheelchair, she told him that she was really cold and he said he would give her some warmed blankets when they got to the room.

I waited in the hallway while she was gone and she was delivered back to me. The doctor came by and said they were just waiting for the results and he would come back when they were available. We waited about 45 minutes, and he came and said that her results all looked normal, that if she had a large stroke they would see damage, and if she was repeatedly having mini-strokes they would see that too. But if this was her first mini-stroke it probably wouldn’t be recognizable on the CT scan and he was concerned by what happened. He said that in cases like this he would like her to see a neurologist, who might want to order an MRI.

My mom asked the doctor what she had to do to see a neurologist, would she need to go see her doctor and get a referral. He apologized for not being clear, he had already sent the referral, he estimated that she would have an appointment within two weeks. But in the meantime he wanted her to take a small dose of aspirin every day. The nurse would bring her the first dose to take in a few minutes, and remove the IV. But besides that she was done for the day.

We walked out of that hospital after 4 hours and 45 minutes and only paid $6 for parking. I was exceedingly proud of myself because I guessed how much time we would need and I was within 15 minutes. The thing is, I am currently unemployed, and not doing great financially at all. My mom is also not doing great financially, but that didn’t get in the way of getting the care she needed.

Now, I will not deny that this isn’t the experience everyone would have everywhere in Canada. A lot of hospitals are understaffed and struggling to keep up. But it was my experience, and I was very thankful to have a hospital to take my mom to, and that I could get her the care she needed without going into terrible life-ruining debt.

Now we are just anxiously waiting for the neurologist appointment, but thankfully we don’t have to worry about affording it.

[ceilingpancake]

Posting this here because im over them and dont want to have it in my phone anymore but also dont want to delete it because i don’t think it should be gone forever. This was a list of things i wrote that i missed about my ex while we were still together while i was on vacation. i told them id show it to them the next time we hung out in person, but we broke up before then. enjoy ! or don’t! i just need to have this somewhere i can find it

I missed you so much this month. I missed getting to be the only person who can stare at you and appreciate how beautiful you are and resting our foreheads together. holding you and being held and feeling your skin against mine and kissing you. listening to you ramble about your day and rambling back to you and laying next to you and holding your hand and hearing you breathe. Im going to be so insufferable and clingy when i get back. I miss getting to look in your eyes and watching them glimmer and shine in excitement anytime something makes you happy and i miss seeing your smile and watching you be so bouncy and giddy and seeing you cuddle badger. I miss your tight hugs and subtle touches and our nightly calls. Going to the park and the mall or hanging out with our friends. I miss hearing you try not to offend me when talking about people or things i care about and listening when i talk about things i care about even though you may not care because you know theyre important to me. i miss your bad jokes and innuendos and “vroom“ noises in the car. I miss you singing to music and your “mouth trumpet” and your road rage. I miss your sporadically placed sappy sweet cheesy moments and you talking about your never ending care for noah. i miss you divorcing lucas and being silly. i miss your obsession with jack black and capybaras and your willingness to forgive people when i never could. I miss your fake pouts and you buying the most wack ass energy drinks you find. i miss hearing about whatever new thing youve bought and you saying how youre feeling but saying that its how badger is feeling instead. I miss hearing you call me baby or hun or love and your little rants about how much you love me. I miss your eyelashes and your clinginess. Your rings and you fidgeting and talking about dnd campaign ideas and plans. Talking about theater and classes and your friends. You being insanely artistically talented and intelligent and going into in depth explanations about things youre doing or books youve read and hearing you talk about them like youve never been able to before, like theres so much excitement and information about it in your mind like if you dont share it you might explode. Hearing you make jokes about JFK’s ass in Clone High and telling me about Regular Show. You and Keira being morons together and your willingness to try almost any food (even when your allergic). I miss your non-offensive racist (that sounds so hypocritical) jokes. Your voice because its not the same over the phone. I miss your big gestures and movements and how loud and exaggerated you are. I miss your flannels and your lips. i miss you

[edgaralienpoe]

hi, i’m back as promised. my actual reactions are under this post (and it’s reblogs) it’s well documented 🤣 also forgive me!! this ask is quite a long one 😭

we’re in on it for the same reason!! 🙃 i discovered park jihoon earlier last year bc of at a distance spring is green and i was hearing news abt this new show he’d be in that his character strays away from the boy next door types he’d been playing.

initially, i thought the show was quite unrealistic (the part where they managed to successfully stop some huge scheme that was going on, yeah, high schoolers?? fr??) and i hate seeing that in shows that someone mirror reality but i changed my mindset, started just looking over the unrealistic parts and immersed myself in the found family of the trio 🥹 (big mistake, really fucked myself up there). also it’s true what you mentioned abt the violence bc it’s somewhat a peek into why people did what they did to survive in the hellhole of a school (or show lol)

i thought it was well done for something so short (minus the first quarter or first half 😭) specially loved it when we started seeing into the trio more? I LOVED THEM SO MUCH AND I KNOW THAT IF CIRCUMSTANCES WERE DIFFERENT THEY COULD’VE BEEN REALLY GREAT FRIENDS! you can’t tell me otherwise :(

about bumseok, my thoughts in the posts/rbs are not representatives of how i think of him today pls do not take me seriously 😭 i was just rlly mad at him and looking for someone to blame when i knew (or know now that) it’s not his fault. i think all he ever wanted was a place where he felt like he belonged and for acceptance and for ppl to look at him as their equal rather than smth to look down on. while i think he really misinterpreted the situation with sooho, we also can’t blame him for feeling that way bc it’s all his ever seen so far :( i hurt for all three of them but presently, i hurt for bumseok most bc i know that everything he did wasn’t his fault (it was his decisions to do the things he did, yes, but everything leading up to were beyond him).

what hurts more is that nothing will ever be the same from this point on and there’s no happy reunion for them (also weak hero the webtoon is more on sieun’s life in that new school). and even if they meet each other further down the line, i don’t think i’d like to be happily friends with someone behind my being a comatose and we just have to live with that conclusion.

if there are specific points you want to talk to me with, feel free to do so bc i need prompts to bring up those traumatic memories (the show) HAHA i’m just thrilled that someone else has watched the show bc i have been suffering in silence for a MONTH. i actually got sad for days after watching it so i feel you. i hope talking to someone else abt it helps with the post-show depression 😭

ok so I just woke up and I wrote so much... I don't think my phone nor Tumblr are gonna like that://

some clothing piece that was rEd and read 'keep pushing' at the back like a warning or maybe it was positive. then bumseok being almost naked while his dad was hitting him, when he's generally fully covered and you can even see his arms when he's at school or hanging out -could also be to hide bruises and stuff :((- 

like you, bumseok made me feel so conflicted, cause we kinda know why he ended like he did but also, a person can't just excuse everything on their trauma.

I loved the first scene on episode eight, when the three of them were together but sieun is left alone, because that's just how the show started and sadly, how it ended. and like you said, even if they find each other I don't think it would be the same because all of them hurted so much from that to the point that I don't think they're the same people anymore, would you like to see them back together? A lot of people want to.

who was your favorite character? What made them your fave? (I saw you talking about keep watching because of suho but maybe that changed)  do you think there was something else between suho and bumseok? I saw people take the whole situation as bumseok having a crush on suho -that would make sense because of how impulsive he got - but then some people took it as bumseok just wanting to be like suho and reading too much into what he was doing (kind of what you said) again sO complex

[qedavathegrey]

Lowest Common Denominator

Most of us are familiar with the mathematical concept, correct? By identifying the lowest, shared multiple of a set of fractions, we are able to simplify the fraction, to add and to subtract with a greater ease. Witchcraft, likewise, can be simplified in much the same way: by identifying the lowest common denominator (LCD) of any situation and concentrating your energy on that specific point.

In the past, I have employed a different analogy for the same concept. Witchcraft can be thought of like ballistics. Some treat it like a sawed-off shotgun full of buckshot and others wield it like an expert sniper. Both are doing witchcraft, but both are not doing so with the same accuracy or efficacy. And don’t get me wrong, sometimes you need buckshot. Sometimes it’s not about going for the kill, but instead about spreading one’s influence far and wide. When one cannot identify the LCD of a situation (say, in asking broadly for a job, for love, for opportunity) this might be fitting. Even shooting blindly, chances are you’ll hit something. In this sense, it is effective, but the energy is spread thin. This can be a good first step. It can help identify where to follow up with further workings. The game Battleship follows the same formula: at first it is good to shoot wildly, but once you’ve struck something, you can follow up with greater accuracy.

Which brings us to the sniper: the one trained to identify the LCD of any given situation. The one who channels all their energy to one, identifiable point. The one who goes for the kill. The sniper thinks, plans, simplifies most expertly. They identify what they desire, dissect a situation and train their sights. And they recognize that each situation is different. No two require the same intervention in precisely the same manner. This is where skill and experience come in. While the witch with a shotgun can shoot blindly with some faith they will hit something, the sniper does not have the same luxury. They must trust that their accuracy (i.e. their ability to identify the LCD of the situation) will rendered the desired results. I will add, however, that there is often more leeway in the craft than is granted to an actual sniper. It’s not so much hit or miss as it is striking the lung or the heart. Closer is best, but there’s some forgiveness. Though that forgiveness can also come with unforeseen hurdles.

And with all that, I’m sure you’re expecting me to tell you how to determine the LCD of a situation. That’s something I can’t do. As aforementioned, each unique situation bears an equally unique LCD. Only you can decipher what it is, but I can offer some advice:

Foremost, know the situation. It sounds easy enough, but it’s also easy to make assumptions based on bias. One might find themselves making comparisons to other situations, one’s personal experiences, all of which are good for survival, but less so for identify the reality of a situation. Speak to others involved if at all possible and take time to consider different perspectives. If one is trying to affect a person, knowledge of that person, their past, their motivations is invaluable.

This point is especially important to consider in attempts to affect grand schemes or those which operate on privileged information. Sometimes there are benefits to being outside of a situation (one can judge with a lesser bias), but there is a point of separation beyond which there is little hope for effective intervention. Think trying to affect the president or other distant, political leaders: you do not have firsthand knowledge of them personally. They exist and can only exist to you in abstract terms, unless you’re a close family member, a member of the cabinet, a friend. Thus, these interventions are doomed from the start. No name papers, photos, effigies can bridge the divide of abstraction, because what you see is not person, but personality. It would be like shooting the TV screen and waiting for the man inside it to die. If, however, you live in a town of 100 people and the mayor is your next-door neighbor, the circumstance is different.

Second, personalize the working accordingly. When the LCD is identified and it is understood, one can decide what intervention will be most fitting and what tools, herbs, stones, etc. will be most effective in relation. Again, it sounds straightforward, but to apply the general to something so specific can cause unforeseen complications or impede efficacy.

Third, take proper aim. You’ve collected knowledge, you’ve identified the LCD, you’ve personalized the working accordingly, all that is left is the ensure that your mark is thoroughly marked. Focus on the LCD and push that first domino. Perhaps it is to expose one truth, perhaps it is to cause one minor inconvenience, doesn’t matter. Put ample energy into it. It’s true that the sniper can be more conservative with their energy, but that does not mean they don’t still have to expend some. And sometimes more than some. Don’t underestimate the force needed, but also don’t put forth so much the thing explodes in your hands. Don’t undermine what work has already been put in by fumbling the penultimate step.

Finally, wait. If your aim was true, the dominos will fall. One by one. And if your factoring was correct, if you truly identified the LCD, then you will reap what you have sown. If not, if there are hiccups or unforeseen consequences, watch, study, evaluate and reevaluate. Mistakes are opportunities. What went wrong? Where was the miscalculation? All hope is not lost, but if you decide to pursue the working further, you must begin again. Remember: the situation is changed and so too must the working.

I know that for some this knowledge is intuitive, but it’s not something I see discussed frequently. I would like to see more dialogue, more workshopping, more collaboration. Even if others do not possess the same knowledge of a situation, they can offer perspective, experience, approaches for consideration. And consulting with those from different backgrounds, too, is invaluable. Got a friend who’s a therapist? Ask them their take. An engineer acquaintance? Maybe they can offer a nuanced interpretation. Which isn’t to say walk up to strangers and say, “So, I’m trying to curse this fuckbag, but need to decide how to get the most bang for my buck. Opinions?” but I’m also not not saying that. I also look forward to the input of other practitioners. What do y’all think?

[kshira]

𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: kazutora really likes sleeping in the same bed as his problems

𝐭𝐰: fem!reader, cursing, f!oral, praise, sexual themes, kinda angsty but also pretty fluffy ;)

𝐰𝐜: 3.4k

𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 — 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞

kazutora doesn’t like to get up in the morning, dragging his eyes over to the empty space beside him in the bed—it’s so cold, vacant eyes fully pulling in the outlook of his room while he rises up from his comfort.

“mornin’ tora, gotta get to work” ash smiles, walking over to him as she presses a kiss against his lips, he wipes it off automatically in disgust. “told you not to kiss me” he mumbles, reaching for his phone while he reads his notifications.

“i liked you better last night, all needy for me” she teases, dragging her eyes over his bare body peeking through the thin sheet, he glances up wondering why she was still there, “i needed a distraction, don’t get it fucking twisted.”

she ponders a response but instead steals another kiss from kazutora’s lips on her way out—he’s left alone again, hands fisting the covers beneath him when his call goes straight to voicemail and those heartfelt texts are left read. kazutora feels so fucking disgusting, sleeping with ash was another mistake he’s wrote off, begging for forgiveness was only was redeemable when he actually meant it—and obviously he didn’t.

kazutora decides to call chifuyu—he seemed to be his voice of reasoning. although baji was another good support system, but he was a dumbass with a even bigger dumbass heart that always sided with you. it’s within two rings before chifuyu picks up, “what do i owe the pleasure at six in the fucking morning?”

“i’ve fucked up so bad—i’ve lost her again, fuyu” kazutora chokes out, ignoring his friends heavy aggravated sigh. “what did you do?” kazutora takes a moment to relive what exactly happened, his stomach churning when he thinks about what he did last night and this morning—he really has to pick what he hasn’t done to you.

“i told her that i slept with them right before i kissed her and now they just left my house after i fucked them again” kazutora awaits what backlash he’ll get from his friend, steadily enduring the words. “shit tora, are you just thinking with your dick?” chifuyu chuckles, kazutora isn’t in the mood but laughs alongside him—a weak attempt to lighten the mood.

“just think about koi, all you need to worry about is your daughter” chifuyu reasons with him and kazutora finally lets the words sink in, maybe it’s time he takes a step back from his dysfunctional life to focus on what’s really the most important thing in his world.

only fools fall in love because they don’t see the clear picture ahead of them, always looking back at the white picket fences, nonexistent problems and the obnoxious, overbearing sentimental affection for one another.

and kazutora is no fool.

it’d been a month since you’ve seen koi’s dad—that’s what you’ve been calling him ever since the night he ruined whatever you thought you had with kazutora. you kept your distance from him, asking baji or chifuyu to take koi to his house so you didn’t have to face him—it’d be too painful, and your heart was already teetering on edge.

but you knew it wouldn’t last, koi would be attending preschool and she demanded that both of her parents be there to send her off—so, sucking up any pride you had left you did what you really fucking hated and that was calling kazutora to set up a time, he agreed to drive you and koi to her new school.

and the drive there was exhausting, biting down on your tongue while kazutora and koi talked about anything and everything, he snuck as many glances as he could at you but with enough oblivious gestures he finally stopped.

kazutora pulls into a parking spot, stepping out of the car to open your door before heading over to snatch koi from her car seat, she had you and kazutora’s hands in her tiny grasps while she skipped to her classroom, swinging your limbs almost immobile.

“i hope you have a good day today” you bend down to press soft kisses against her cheeks, her giggles bringing tears to your eyes at the fact your own baby was growing up. you walked away before she could sense you on the brink of sobbing, kazutora engulfed her in a hug, koi arms wrapping around his neck.

“i love you daddy” she whispers, kazutora cups her cheeks as he nudges his nose against hers, “i love you more” he smiles, koi jumps back when the noises of other children begin filling the room. “mommy loves you, i heard her the other night talking to uncle baji, she said she loves you so much she wants to die but i told momma she can’t die because then you’d be sad” koi pouts, but her attention span runs out giving him a final wave before darting to the other children.

kazutora stays frozen for a second while he collects what koi just told him, sucking in a harsh breath while he stands to his feet heading back to his car. as he gets back in, putting his seat walt on kazutora turns to you, “have you had breakfast?” you ask before he can even open his mouth, lips curling up when you avoid his fluttering lashes, “if you haven’t, i can cook you something at your house. i want to talk or whatever.”

he thinks you’re so cute right now, flustered and trying your best not to show how much you melt under his searing gaze, kazutora smiles even harder when you fidget in your seat, “better hurry before i change my mind.” with that kazutora silently agrees, his chest pounding with all of those feelings he’s bottled up for so long.

kazutora watches as you place a plate of food in front of him, sitting down across from him you finally lock eyes, a subtle blush forms across his cheeks, “i’ve been thinking about you, tora” you begin, poking around the food, “i know we have a lot of history, and you’re the father of my child. koi loves you so much and you’ve been a really great dad to her these past months.”

kazutora waits to hear the thorn in your words flinching on impact while you pause to gather the over-pouring emotions flooding through you, “i want to try this time, for her but also for me. i’m willing to forgive and forget—just this once” you smirk at the end, exhaling a shaky breath you finally take your gaze to kazutora.

“that’s all we can do” he whispers out, reaching across the table to gather your hands with his, “i promise that you’re all i want, you and koi are my everything” kazutora brings your fingers to his mouth, soft lips pressing against the digits, “love me so much you wanna die, huh?”

your face deadpans to him, rolling the juncture of your eyes towards the ceiling, “koi loves to eavesdrop so you better watch what you say” kazutora lips curl into a smile, “and she’s just a child so not everything is true” his smile drops which makes you crack a laugh.

“say it then, i want to hear you say it” kazutora whispers, grabbing one of your fingers and placing it on his bottom lip, he drags the digit across the flesh, “tell me you love me.” but it’s easier said than done, your heart twisting into a trap of emotions, you keep silent while he places your hand back down, “you’ll say it eventually angel, maybe when i make you happy or just maybe when i have you cumming around my cock—who knows.”

“who says i’m fucking you?” you retort, kazutora lifts his hand to card his fingers through his hair, catching glimpses of the rings shimmering as they claw through the strands, “you should be asking when, when am i going to be fucking you? whenever you beg hard enough.”

“i’ve missed you but not that cocky attitude” you huff out, shoving what’s left of your food into your mouth and gathering the plates, kazutora rests his chin on his fist, shrugging his shoulders confidently, he watches you with a playful smile—and he wonders if this would of been everyday he would have just stuck around.

“did you really miss me?” he questions, golden orbs following you as you make your way to the sink, “i’ve always missed you, tora. but it’s going to take a lot of time to forgive you.” he smiles seldomly, it’s painful remembering the night he broke up with you, how hard you cried—blood pulsating screams of you being pregnant and how much he didn’t care to be apart of any of it, dread settles in after the sadness, you could have moved on but you didn’t.

kazutora rises from his seat, softly padding behind you while his arms wrap around your waist, “can i show you how much i missed you? i know i said you had to beg for it but now i’m the one begging for you to fuck me.”

the hitch in your breath is enough to let the sponge slip from your hands, kazutora hair falls over your shoulders as he begins pressing soft kisses against your jawline, “please, i want you so bad” kazutora mutters, gradually letting his hands drop from your waist and trace across your stomach, you should stop him before the boundary is erased.

yet you’re afraid, scared to let the waves of him drown you into a black abyss, you’ll feel vulnerable after you sleep with kazutora, you’re not even dating him let alone just playing house at this moment, if he leaves this time—you couldn’t do anything about it and that’s terrifying.

“angel” kazutora whimpers, placing his calloused fingers back on your hips but he dips under the fabric, “look at me” he whispers, your breathing is shallow while kazutora stops moving his hand but you’re scared to face him because you know what will happen next—something you have been trying to avoid for so long.

but fuck it.

the thing about having sex with kazutora—it wasn’t always about you getting to cum first or how fast he could pull out in just enough time to spill his seed on your stomach—it was how attentive his fingers traced across your skin, how every imperfection you thought about yourself kazutora always paid closer attention, gently brushing his lips across the flesh while his eyes locked onto yours.

“beautiful” he murmurs, smiling when you shift beneath his taunting gaze, you were on the bed now while kazutora hovered over you, clothing were still intact, only leaving behind a trail of his mouth across your face and neck—he took his time, kazutora wanted to explore you like you were the last unknown waters on earth—ready for him to dive straight into.

he’d never been like this since you, kazutora was selfish when it came to having sex, he grew experience throughout the years to go numb to feelings and just fuck—he wouldn’t even categorize this as fucking, it was a lot more to him. “can i take these off?” and he always asked with every article of clothing but when it came to anyone else—he expected them to be naked before him.

“i’m scared” you whisper to him while your hands cupped his cheeks, kazutora nudged into your palms, “of what, baby?” you look into his golden eyes, flickers of old memories burn within the edges of his irises, “are you scared of me?” he asks again but with pain engraved in the question.

“scared of how big my three inch dick is gonna do to your pussy?” kazutora laughs, trying to lighten the mood—he isn’t dumb, he knows exactly what you’re afraid of and he doesn’t blame you one bit but he isn’t exactly confident in this either.

you shoot him a glare, knocking your eyes towards the ceiling while he leans down to gently brush his lips across your mouth, “you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, this is all i want, just you right here, right now.”

you ponder how to respond, your feelings mixed with regret but also a hopeful outcome, kazutora kisses you again. he couldn’t ever get enough of your lips even if he tried, always asking for just one more until you're a swollen, flustered mess.

his pants tighten while you palm under his bulge laid perfectly between your legs, kazutora whines at the friction but you stop when his pants begin to vibrate. he grunts pulling out the device to deadpan at the name displayed on the screen and you can’t see who it is but you have a hunch.

kazutora sits up on the bed, crossing his legs while he hands his phone over to you, “i have to tell you something” he whispers, looking up at you with a pained look. “you slept with her again, huh?” he jumps at your accurate assumption, feeling dread ache through his body, “whatever makes you comfortable, you can do with her number. you want me to block it? i’ll do it.”

“tora, we’re not teenagers anymore and you’re a grown ass man. i don’t care what you do as long as i can trust you” you sigh out, handing him back the phone while you watch kazutora begin deleting and blocking numbers. “you don’t have to do that, tora” you try reasoning with him but he’s on a mission erasing all the one night stands, a couple of flings and finally hovering his finger over that name.

“did you have feelings for her?” he looks up at you with the question resting on your lips, “early on, yeah. but i’m so bad with relationships” he replies, avoiding your eyes ghosting over his cautious fidgeting. you laugh softly, “how are we supposed to even be a couple when you say something like that?”

“because i’m in love with you”

those words aren’t easy on your heart, a stake that drives deeper into your sunken chest, it falls so easily from your lips when you remind koi multiple times a day how much you love her but when her father says it in a hushed whisper—you become a frozen, frigid husk.

“is that enough, angel?” kazutora pulls you from your thoughts, crawling over and tipping your chin with the tip of his finger to his mouth, “w-what did you say?” his saccharine lips curl upwards, hypnotized completely as kazutora presses a kiss against your lips, cradling the back of your head with one hand while the other drops to rest on your hip.

“nothing baby” he mumbles in your mouth, gently pushing your back against the bed while kazutora hooks his fingers over your shorts, cautiously guiding them off your legs as he motions for your shirt and bra off your body. he leans back up enough to drape his shirt to the floor, followed by his pants until he matches you—naked, vulurable and so fucking nervous.

“do you want me to wear a condom?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand as the other traces a soft circle on your inner thigh. “so you do wear them? interesting” you smile, kazutora can’t help but smirk back, “yeah, i normally do.”

“d-don’t wear one then” your voice comes out stuttering, nervously choking down a ragged breath, kazutora furrows his brows, “you’re on the pill or something, right?”

“no”

kazutora feels like he’s been in this same situation before, almost like he’s having deja vu—oh yeah, that’s right, koi came nine months after you said that last time. “h-hah, i could get you pregnant” kazutora deadpans to which you shrug your shoulders, “i’ve been wanting another one of your pretty little babies” you tease, kazutora’s cock twitches in response.

“i’m kidding tora, relax” he wishes you wasn’t, maybe he’s an idiot for thinking about stuffing you full of his cum over and over, wondering what it’d be like when you do get pregnant and he gets to watch his child grow in your stomach every single month, teaching koi how to be a big sister, enjoy living in a perfect little family.

“just pull out when you’re close” you lean up to nibble on his ear, pulling kazutora from any illogical thoughts swirling through his brain, “that’s going to be so fuckin’ hard” kazutora mumbles, exhaling a gentle breath he dips down to the crevice of your neck, planting gentle kisses along the skin.

your legs wrap around his waist yanking him forward causing his cock to brush against your pussy, “be patient, angel. i want to go slow” kazutora smirks into your neck, he loves how needy you’re being, how much you want this as bad as he does.

“you’ve never wanted to take your time” your voice comes out as a choked moan as kazutora leaves a trail of his lips down the indent on your breasts, a pattern of his soft kisses from the valley of your stomach till he reaches your pussy, pressing a gentle kiss on your exposed clit, “for you, i want to taste and feel everything.”

your fingers card through the strands of hair falling from his makeshift bun, sighing while kazutora drags his tongue through your folds, raising his eyes from your pussy to watch your orbs crinkle in pleasure, tightening your grip on his hair as kazutora slurps up your juices, flicking his tongue against your clit, “you taste so good, so fuckin’ good” kazutora slurs against your pussy, subconsciously rutting his cock against the bed for some friction.

if kazutora could think right now it’d only come out as jumbled mush, his eyes filtered with a sheet of pitch black aurora, mindlessly watching your face contort into nothing less than immortal beauty, mouth agape while his fingers sink into your cunt and curl against your velvet walls.

kazutora can practically taste how close you are, bucking your hips into his face, fingers delving into the plush of your thighs—moaning against your pussy when you’re almost there but your phone halts everything with a loud eruption of vibrations.

“you have got to be kidding me” you croak, trying to resume concentration while kazutora pumps his two digits quicker in your hole, “j-just ignore it” he mumbles, moaning like a desperate whore when your juices spill into his mouth. but you can’t ignore it, not when your phone is nagging in your ear with another set of vibrations until finally you have to push kazutora from you, leaning up to answer it.

he can’t help listening to a deeper tone voice cast into the speaker filled with questions, you mumbling back replies until you hang up and look at him, “i forgot koi’s lunch” you deadpan to kazutora, he looks at you with a pained expression.

kazutora was ready to be a dad until he realized there was so much he’d have to sacrifice, especially the ache you’d left him with but fatherhood has only begun for him; filled with surprises and a lot of disappointments.

“food!” koi tiny voice beams through the classroom while she jumps into kazutora’s arms, snatching her lunchbox from his hands. “i have a name you know, kid” he grumbles, feeling her hand tug him further into the room where he sees koi’s teacher placing down utensils for the children.

“so you must be her father, koi hasn’t stopped talking about you since she got here” she smiles, patting koi on the head while she plops down and begins demolishing her food. “oh, yeah. i’m kazutora” he smiles, bending down to nudge his nose against his daughter’s cheek, “daddy can’t stay long, your mom is going to be picking you up later.”

“you’re going to be there, right?” kazutora frowns at her words, if you and him are anything it’s nowhere close to living together. “no angel, daddy doesn’t live with mommy” koi makes the same frowned expression, “okay, but when can i see you?” she questions, mumbling her words between bites.

kazutora thinks for a moment, he hated more than anything having his child divide her attention to her two parents now, he remembers painfully having to do the same thing when he was younger.

koi grins while kazutora continues sifting through possibilities, “daddy i love you” she whispers, patting his cheek with her hand, “forever and ever” she adds, kazutora smiles back whispering how much he loves her before he heads back to his car, pulling his phone out, hitting the call button on your name you can hear the sincerity laced in his heavy breaths,

“i want you and koi to live with me, i want to be with you, and i want to marry you and have more of my pretty babies with you. that’s all i want, and this time i’m not giving up, i’m yours forever.”

tagging! @hoesplay @yukihime-mikeys-girl @rinrinfoxy @zuuki @rizakari @night-shadowblood-writes2 @crown5 @ayariceeee @idkwhybutilikesmut @oikawascutie @renxnana @bxnnyxcx @cinnamonruts @sh4nn @vanderaliwaal

[il0veyoujk]

Please forgive us

This is a tickle related ff, if you are not interested in it, please keep scrolling

Summary: Y/N (22) is mad at the boys

Warnings: None

Notes: This is one of the three first ffs I ever wrote! I found them some days ago and I thought you'd like to read them! Plus it is my one and only ff with a Y/N cause I wanted to try it! But I won't make any other with it! The rest of them will have a O/C!

Lots of love Nef 💕

It was Friday, 15:45’. You were at your college… Waiting. And waiting. And waiting… You had told boys to pick up you from school to go for lunch.

This week was hell for you. At first, you failed a test, then you missed the bus for your home two times due to heavy rain and you had to walk to your home while being soaked. Also, you had a great fight with one of your best friends but you quickly made it up. And last but not least, the boys were never there for you…

Like today when none of them was there. You called each boy several times but they completely ignored you. So you decided to walk all the way home.

The weather was cloudy and cold and you weren’t in the mood of walking so much. Your feet were hurting and the only thing you wanted at that time was to relax in the soft seat of your friends’ car but nope, you had to use your feet because your stupid famous friends forget about you.

You were nearby your house wearing headphones when someone grabbed your shoulder. You screamed as much as your lungs would allow you to and hit him with your backpack. You thought that he was a burglar and you tried to defend yourself but as soon as you heard his voice you calm down a little.

“Hey! Stop it!”

“Oh my God! Hoseok you scared me to death!” you yelled.

“I’m sorry love” he apologized. You rolled your eyes while you spotted one huge, black car with the boys inside standing in the middle of the road. Fortunately, there were no more cars behind it so you weren’t making anyone wait.

“Where were you? We got to your college but you weren’t there” Namjoon asked worriedly.

“Are you kid-”

“Oh c’mon, just get in and you’ll tell us here” Jungkook cut your words. You got in and sat between Tae and Jungkook.

“I was waiting for you for about forty-five minutes! Where were you?” you asked disappointingly.

“Well, we’re sorry but we had an interview” Namjoon explained to you.

“And why didn’t you call me? Or just text me?”

“Our manager didn’t let us touch our phones” Jimin told you.

“W-where are we going? Jin, you’re on the wrong way” you complained as your stomach started growling and pleading you for food.

“No angel, see? Home is right here” he said while he was parking the huge car.

“Won’t we eat out?”

“Sorry babe, we ate at the studio about an hour ago” Jimin told you while he was helping you get out of the car.

“Are you kidding me?! What about me?! You completely forgot me, didn’t you?!” you asked disappointed.

“Oh, princess… We’re so sorry… Look, we’ll do it tomorrow, we swear. We’ll pick you up fr-”

“I-I don’t think it’s a good idea. Today was the third time you forgot our appointment this week. Plus, tomorrow it's Saturday” you replied disappointed as you entered angrily the house. No one told anything. They just looked at the ground. And what could they tell you? You were right and you knew it. An uncomfortable silence followed as the eight of you were standing in the middle of the hallway.

“I’m sure you’re hungry, what do you want to eat?” Jin asked you, breaking the silence. He wanted to make you forgive them and he knew the best way to succeed was by feeding you.

“I’ll just go rest, I’m not hungry anymore” you left the boys embarrassed in the living room, looking at the ground.

But you didn’t go to your bedroom. There was a room inside the house where you could go and relax. The library -yes, the boys had a huge library in their house- was a quiet place where you were able to read your favorite book or listen to music.

So, you got in there furiously and locked the door. You still had your bag in your hand, so you still had your phone and your headphones with you. You lied on the sofa which was there with a book in your hand and your headphones on.

Although you were their best friend, you were a huge fan of metal music and the boys knew that very well. And when you were wearing headphones you could hear no one.

The boys were trying to open the library’s door but soon they realized it was locked. Jin and Hoseok were shouting things like ‘Get out please!’ and ‘We’re sorry’ but it was useless, you couldn’t hear anything.

Just then a message blink on your phone.

Tae: C’mon babe, get out…

You: Leave me alone, I’ll get out later

You didn’t want to talk to anyone. You were so tired waiting for them and then walking home. Also, you were hungry. You didn’t admit it but you were hungry. Luckily you had a chocolate bar in your bag. But the most important; you were mad. Mad to them. They didn’t pay attention to you this week. They forgot about you this week. It was like… You weren’t their best friend this week… When you needed them, they weren’t there for you, when you wanted to have some fun with them, they weren’t there for you and when you just wanted a shoulder to cry on, they weren’t there for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The boys were sitting in the living room. They were quiet, scrolling down their phones. However, even a baby could sense the tension in the atmosphere. Their thoughts were all about you. Your face, your feelings, what they can do for you to forgive them.

“She’s acting too hyperbolically” Yoongi broke the silence.

“I don’t know hyung” Jimin disagreed. “She was true. We had three appointments this week and every time we were getting late to pick her up”

“I agree with you. She’s our best friend and we completely forgot her this week” Tae admitted.

“We must do something about that” Jungkook suggested furiously. “She’s so mad at us and I don’t blame her. We have to cheer her up and prove to her that we never ignored her”

“Oh Kookie, don’t be so dramatic. She already knows that” Namjoon told him. “However yes, I agree with you. We must cheer her up. So, think something!” he said loudly and everyone obeyed. They dived through their thoughts to find the perfect way to make you smile again.

Ten minutes had passed when Jimin finally yelled “Found it!” Immediately, all the boys came around him. His ideas were always some of the best ones everyone could ever have. “Here’s the plan~” Jimin whispered and started to explain the plan.

“So, you say we will use her weakness to our advantage” the maknae smirked and rubbed his palms together evilly.

“Um... Like every time and she doesn’t seem to mind that so...”

“Smart and evil. Just perfect!” Hoseok grinned.

“So let’s start” Jin recommended.

Jungkook would text you. You couldn't resist the boys when they begged you for something, especially Jungkook and everyone knew that. Even your ex-boyfriend was jealous of that.

He walked outside the library. He knocked on the door three times. No reaction. So, he sent you a message.

Jungkook: Baby please, let me get in. Just me, not anyone else. Please, I’m begging you. I want to talk and see if you’re okay

After a few seconds, the maknae heard the door being unlocked and saw you half-crying and half-mad. He felt like trash realizing that they had hurt you. He hugged you tightly and rubbed your hair and back. He knew that that always helps you calm down.

“Oh, we’re so sorry, precious. We didn’t want to hurt you” you hugged him back as his words started melting you and his hug was one of the warmest places on this earth for you so you couldn’t say no.

“I-I don’t want to talk about it. Just get in Kookie” you close the door, Jungkook sat on the couch and you did the same.

“Well… You know we love you” he started. “And we’d never forget you on purpose. You’re just like our sister. We’re very busy this week, you know” he explained to you. His eyes were regretfully widened and he placed his hand on your knee. Unfortunately for him, you stayed quiet so he continued “Do you want to come down to watch a movie and chill? And of course, you must be hungry. You didn't eat anything all day” he suggested to you.

“No thanks, I prefer just sitting here and finishing my book” you refused.

“You mean you don’t forgive us?”

“I didn’t say that. I said I’m not in the mood”

“I think I can make you be in the mood” he said evilly.

“How-?” you asked him but you stopped when you saw his smirk appearing on his face as he was starting getting up “Oh, wait I know that look. Jungkook don’t you da-” he cut off your phrase by lifting you and throwing you over his shoulder holding your feet with both hands.

“Jungkook what are you doing?!” you yelled between your giggles as you hit his back several times. He didn’t feel anything tho. He was much stronger than you and you knew it very well so you couldn’t do anything. You tried to escape and you were yelling things like “Put me down!” and “I’ll kill you!” but it was useless.

When you two arrived at the end of the hall he put you down, got you bridal style, and moved you to the living room.

“Hey, guys! Look who we got here!” he announced. “Mrs. I-don’t-forgive-you”

“I never said that!” you yelled.

“Yes you did”

“Is that true babe? You don’t forgive us?” Jimin asked pretended to be sad.

“I didn’t say that! Jungkook put me down now!” you yelled.

“As you wish angel” he said and put you on the carpet sitting on your hips. The other members came around you and looked at you. Your eyes widened as you realized what was coming for you.

“What are you doing? Get off me!” you screamed even though you were very well what they were doing.

“Do you forgive us?” Hoseok asked playfully.

“In fact, I’m starting to hate you right now” you said angrily.

“Oh, is our little bratty girl mad?” Tae teased.

“Yes! Get off me now!”

You were starting to feel your body shaking a little. You never wanted to be in that situation since the last time. You were panting for at least ten minutes and you couldn’t get up from the floor.

“No, until you smile again” Jin told you, wiggling his fingers.

“If I don’t?”

“If you don’t we’ll be obliged to make you” Namjoon laughed. Every boy sat around you with an evil smile on his face. But the evilest one was Jungkook’s. You never like that smile when it’s on his face because you knew that you were going to be in trouble.

“Don’t look at me like that!”

“Why princess? Do we scare you?” Yoongi teased.

“Well yes! Especially Jungkook”

“Oh, are you afraid of me? What if I come nearer you, like this…” he said and he moved his face near you so you could feel his breath.

“I wasn’t literally. I meant I am afraid about what you have in mind”

“Oh, don’t be scared, angel” Jin relaxed you. “Jungkook, show her what we want to do” he said and the youngest bent over more and put his head on the left side of your neck.

“W-What are you doing?” you giggled.

“She’s giggling, that’s good. Keep going Kookie” Namjoon suggested.

“Oh baby, laugh for me” he said. His breath was touching your bare skin which caused you to giggle more.

“S-Stohohop, that tickles so bahahad” you giggled. You could feel him chuckle in your neck.

“Will you forgive us?” Tae asked playfully.

“Mahahake him stohohop first”

“Stop what? He’s not even moving” he laughed, clearly enjoying the scene.

“Stohohop breathing in my neheheheck”

“Why?” Namjoon asked, ‘innocently’

“He’s tihihickling mehehe!” you shouted.

“Well…Jungkook stop breathing in her neck” All the boys looked confused at him. Even Jungkook raised his head and looked at him.

“Ah thank you Joon” you breathed a sigh of relief.

“Nuzzle it” Tae exclaimed. Jungkook smiled evilly when he heard this phrase and did as Tae told him.

“Nononono!” you yelled but it was too late. The maknae was already in your neck nuzzling it.

“StohohoHOHOHOP!” you cried inside your laughter as he started nuzzling and snuffling.

“Do you need help, Kook?” Jimin asked and the younger boy nodded, which made you laugh more.

“Dohon’t answeheheheher!”

“Did you just tell him what to do? You’re gonna get it about that right now!” he pretended to be mad and grabbed your wrists, pinning them above your head and sitting on them.

“Are you ready for your punishment?” asked teasingly just when Tae sat on your ankles and said playfully. “I don’t know how to play the piano. I think your toes will help me, right beauty?” you couldn’t reply due to your heavy breathing. You were already a giggling mess.

“Kook I’ll take good care of her neck. You can count her ribs. I think she is missing some” Jimin said looking straight at your eyes smiling.

“NOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOO!” you screamed so loud that the boys looked at you surprised.

“Oh my God princess, I knew you were ticklish but I didn’t know how much! That’s incredible. I didn’t even start yet and you are terrified only by the thought!” Jungkook laughed.

“I know something that tickles like hell. Kookie give me your sit please” Namjoon suggested. Everything happened so fast that you didn’t realize it.

Namjoon pulled up your shirt and lowered his neck. He kissed your skin softly making you squeal and letting some adorable giggles get out of you. You immediately arched your back as you couldn’t bear the sense of his mouth. Then he blew the longest raspberry he could on your tummy and poked your sides several times at the same time.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” you screamed as loud as you could, as he had hit your most sensitive spot.

“Okay, that’s definitely one of your worst spots” Hoseok realize happily, trying to be heard as your screaming laughter was covering his words.

Your breathing was already heavy and you couldn’t control your laughter. Yeah, that was true, that was one of your words spots and you just couldn’t stand it. You were feeling like electric jolts were hitting your body mercilessly.

“St-stohohop plehehehehease!” you begged when you caught your breath after he gave you a break. You just couldn’t start the teasing, it made everything worse.

“You know what?” Jungkook started saying. “I’ll show you mercy and I won’t count your ribs”

“Thahahahank you so muhuhuhuhuch Kookie” you giggled

“However your armpits seemed to need a massage” he said and immediately shot his hands under them, drawing circles with his thumbs. Then, one by one, all the boys find a spot on your body and start tickling it. Jimin your neck, Jungkook your armpits, Namjoon your tummy and sides, Hoseok and Jin your under-knees, Yoongi your calves, and finally Tae your feet.

“AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA” you cried so loud that you could break a glass. However no one showed you any mercy, they never do when they tickle you.

“Your safe phrase is…” Yoongi told you. “‘I FORGIVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU’, are you okay with that?” You only could laugh while tears were running on your face. “That’s what I thought”

“Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Your Neck Will Be Tickled Now” Jimin sang you which was worse for you.

Tae was playing with your toes like a piano when an idea grew inside his mind. He grabbed a black marker from the coffee table next to him and drew some circles on your soles. It was unbearable. The second most sensitive most was being attacked successfully.

“Oh-oh… Someone kicked…” he said and kissed all the circles. Why did everyone have to use his mouth to tickle you? It was so much worse than fingers.

“AHAHA TAHAHAHAE STOHOHOHOHOP!”

Hoseok and Jin were pinching and wriggling their fingers under your knees, it was bad… Too bad... You couldn’t stand it. Yoongi gave up and sat on the sofa. Taehyung kept kissing and playing with your toes. Jungkook was now scribbling his nails in your hollows. But when Jimin started nibbling your neck you broke.

“OHOHOHOHOHKAYHYHYHHY IHIHIHIHI’LL SAHAHAHAHAY IHIHIHT” you screamed and the boys immediately stopped. Everyone except Namjoon who was lightly spidering your tummy. Sometimes he would pinch it and you’d flinch.

“I forgIVE you and I lOVe you” you said half-giggling half-yelling while you were panting and trying to catch your breath.

“We love you too, princess” they said all together.

“However you’re gonna get it so bad one day guys” you threatened them.

“What did you say?” Jungkook asked poking your left side.

“Nothing, nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing!” you said loudly and everyone laughed.

“Oh love, your weakness is lovely. We can use it for so many reasons! It’s incredible!” Jin exclaimed.

“Oh please, don’t do it” you pleased them.

“Every. Single. Day. Baby” Tae told you, poking your soles between each word and you giggled loudly.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that. Can you let me go now, please?”

“Oh yes, of course, dear” Hoseok said and everyone stood up. Jin gave you his hand and helped you stand up too.

“Oh, before I forgot it. Tomorrow, at 15:00’, outside the park after our dance practice. We won’t be late, deal?” He told you.

“Deal” you agreed, smiling.

“Let’s watch a movie!” Jungkook suggested.

You were watching Disney movies all afternoon. You were cuddling with Jimin and Jungkook the whole time. God, these boys really knew how to make you weak and make you a little ball of blush. They were your best friends and no one could change.

[amariaaa]

Hello hello! I was wondering if I could get a request about Bakugo coming home to a worn out reader? Like, the reader takes care of people for a living and they’re at the end of their rope. It can be sfw or nsfw, you can choose. Thanks!! 💥

Summary: When bakugou finds out the toll your job takes on you after an incident he tries to comfort you

Characters: dynamite/king explosion murder/Bakugou Katsuki

Warnings: mentions of blood, death, depression?

Authors note: I wrote a whole different story and forgot to save so i rewrote it and made it a sfw instead of a nsfw. Also i hope it's ok i went the mental route instead of exhaustion.

———————————————————————-

“We need a nurse in room 16” the speakers announced as you rushed into the room.

The patient was loosing a lot of blood and even worse the patient was just a little girl. You ran into the room as quickly as you could after a day of exhaustion.

The stench of blood filled your nose. You rushed over to the lead doctors to assess the situation at hand.

“Doctor what’s happening?!”

The heart monitor screeched to signal that the amount of oxygen the girl was taking in was lowering. 

“She’s in hypovolemic shock, it’s not likely she’ll make it” the doctor said in a panicked tone.

Your mind stiffened at the thought of this sweet little girl dying “We have to do anything to save her, her dying is not a choice”

You rushed over to her bedside putting an intravenous line into her arm to allow blood to be put into her system.

Just as you were about to insert the blood into the iv you stumbled, causing you to have to get another one.

You rushed down the hallway to get another blood bag. As you raced back into the girls room only to hear the monitor flatline, stopping you in your tracks.

This was not the first time a patient has died. This was the first patient who happened to be a little girl who might’ve still been alive if it wasn’t for your clumsiness who had died. She was the first child who had died under your list of patients.

You stared at the door of the room as the happiness drained out of your eyes and quickly replaced with sorrow.

You had been called in all week to this hospital and this was the only person you have failed to save. The worst part about it was that you had met her prior to what led up to her being here.

She was the same little girl who was stuck in a crossfire between a superhero and a villain. You saved her then, but now that it was your literal job to save her you couldn’t.

You drove home in silence as the guilt consumed you as you finally parked in your driveway. You stumbled hazily into your house and collapsed on your couch.

You threw the phone as your fiancé bombarded your phone with texts and calls. You didn’t want to speak to anyone. No, you didn’t deserve to speak to anyone.

Your fiancé rushed to your job from you not answering and him getting worried. His red eyes widened as the staff explained to him what happened and that you had taken the rest of the day off.

He sped away in his car to find you as anger creeped into his crimson eyes, knowing you’re blaming yourself for a situation that was out of your control from the beginning.

“Fuckin’ idiot” he yelled while calling you again only to be sent to voicemail.

He parked the car and jumped out, not even worrying about turning off the engine.

He walks to your shared house only to see you’ve left the door open with your items thrown everywhere in the living room.

He rushed into the bedroom to find you broken and crying in the corner. He had never once seen you this mentally and physically drained.

Your eyes were puffy from crying, hair distressed across your head, clothes matted and wrinkled. The alarming part was that this was you only an hour after.

He carefully walked over to your sobbing figure only to be met with dull eyes. You were waddling in your own guilt and sorrow.

As he tried to pull you towards him you quickly pushed him away, not wanting to be consoled. Not wanting to feel better. You felt as if you cause this and that you deserved to feel like shit.

He only clicked his tongue and yanked you into his comfort.

“The fuck is you doing that for. You know the shit wasn’t your fault.”

You looked at him as tears blurred your vision for the hundredth time today.

“A little girl died today. A LITTLE FUCKING GIRL DIED Katsuki. BECAUSE I WASN’T QUICK ENOUGH!”

He glared at you and shook your shoulders.

“That wasn’t your damn fault” he said as if he had 0 cares or remorse about this.

“ITS MY JOB TO SAVE. I FAILED” “ YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE.”

Silenced washed over the both of you as you looked at him and tried to walk away.

He quickly gripped your arm and pulled you against his chest.

“You can’t save them all. You think I’ve never cried over a civilian who didn’t make it?”

You looked up to see his prideful eyes water as tears brim.

“You can’t save everyone.” he whispered in your ear

you sat quietly in his embrace as you let out your final sobs.

“i know.. but what good is this being my job if i can't even do that correctly”

Katsuki looked at you with his lips pressed into a firm line. “you’ve saved so many people, and so many more to come”

You just looked at him amazed. Everyone knows Katsuki Bakugou was never the sentimental type. Even in the 4 years of you both dates, he's never been so soft with you.

Though the current events isn't something you can easily forgive yourself for, him showing this much kindness and love let's you know you'll eventually overcome this tragedy.

You cupped your fiancé cheeks and kissed him slowly as tears ran down your cheek. You didn't know if you were crying from the fact you knew you'd be okay, or Katsuki's cheering you up with his gentle and kind words.

His eyes widen as he slowly began to kiss back.

"Thank you" was all you could mutter while kissing him.

He just pulled you closer and deepens the kiss only to pull away for a split second to say "yeah, whatever next time don't be an idiot, blaming yourself for shit that wasn't your fault"

you laughed softly because you're normal egotistical, Brash, and blunt fiancé was back.

[sailors-diary-for-elise]

Reaching Out

SEE! SOMETHING OTHER THAN SMUT. Also this one is old and a bit dusty, sooooo warnings are gonna be to the best of my ability. ALSO. THIS IS ANGST AND HAS TRIGGERING THEMES. PLEASE SCROLL PAST IF THE WARNINGS ARE DISTRESSING TO YOU. I wrote this during a really difficult day and was just word vomiting tbh. I am also gonna state that this is a work of fiction and I am in no way a therapist or anything, so if something here bothers you I’m sorry this is just something I wrote mostly for myself.

Warnings: god this is painful but here we go. Reader is depressed and has anxiety, mentions of self-inflicted injuries (she punches a mirror...repeatedly-), blood, panic attacks, it takes a few of the members to restrain the reader so if you’re uncomfortable with that please don’t read this, this is honestly just a hard read imo so please read with care. Also, the reader hates herself and just doesn’t really think highly of herself at all sooooo yeah-

It was the fourth time this month. The fourth argument that could’ve and should’ve ended differently.

You’d come out of your room to find San off at practice or on some work related schedule, spend the entire day outside trying to break a horrible cycle in your mind, just to disappear again once he returned home. It was frustrating you both and causing a serious strain in your relationship.

On San’s side, he couldn’t understand why it was that you would fight against him trying to get you to come out of your room when you spent the entire day alone. Then there was his frustration when you would complain about never seeing him and yet would disappear and avoid him when he was available. To San, it didn’t make any sense. All he wanted to do was spend time with you and support you, but it seemed as though you were determined to shut him out. He watches you storm off to your bedroom, running a hand through his hair as he tries to recall the last time he’d come back from a schedule and had a nice quiet evening that didn’t end in you both screaming at each other. When he can’t, San grabs his jacket and walks out of the apartment with his phone and keys, planning on spending the night at the dorms so that you can have some space to cool off. Once he gets in his car, he quickly dials Hongjoong’s number, pulling out of the parking garage of your complex and letting out all of his frustrations and concerns. 

As he drove, San had no way of knowing how much you hated yourself for what was happening between you both.

What San didn’t know was that your depression and anxiety had been spiraling lately due to the pressure that had been placed on your shoulders from not only your work but from being the girlfriend of an idol that had become so famous. He didn’t know that every day you were terrified that, now that his future was so bright and secure, he’d no longer want you. That he’d leave you just like so many before had done, and that he’d realize you were no longer something of use to him. And finally, how you criticize every minute of your life, finding ways that you are failing even when you’ve done nothing but your best. It came to the point that waking up from dreams was physically painful, because you could control a dream and guarantee the people you love never turned their backs on you. San didn’t, or rather, couldn’t know this. Because to know this would mean you would have to tell him. And no one should have to bear this burden but you, and there was always that small part of you that was terrified of having your feelings invalidated. 

Your whole life people have toyed with you, accepting your depression only when it was convenient to them and berating you once the curtains fall. Some even went as far as to weaponize your emotions, tearing you down in an argument with something that was the equivalent to the beating heart in your chest. Yes they would apologize and you would eventually forgive them because people make mistakes. But the thing about words is that once they leave someone’s mouth, the damage is already done and there’s no amount of remorse or forgiveness that can repair it. That’s where you are now.

You slam the door shut, leaving all the lights in your room turned off, your head pounding after the screaming match you and San had just finished (rather, you ran out on and barricaded the door so he wouldn’t see you cry) and your face stained with tears. Not a sound left you as you curled up on the bed, biting your fist as a punishment for your body's betrayal of emotions. All it would take was one minute of silence and the entire apartment would be able to hear how you were feeling. In all honesty, you didn’t want San to see you cry. Because in your mind, you didn’t deserve to cry. You were the one who picked a fight. You're the one who made unfair accusations, using his career and passions as weapons against him. You were the one that hurt him in the same ways that had been done to you, falsely claiming that it was to “beat him to it and strike first.” 

The front door slams shut, and you work quickly. You unbarricade the door and peek out, making sure no one is there. Dashing across the living space, you reach the spare bedroom and lock the door, not seeing the need for such extreme measures as earlier. You then sit with your back to the door, listening for the sign of San’s safe return from the store. Your butt has just about gone numb when this occurs, the front door shutting softly alerting you instantly. You rise from your position, albeit a little slowly due to your cramped muscles, and shuffle to the bed. A knock sounds, and a decision has to be made.

“Y/N? I know you’re awake. Can you come to bed? You and I both know that neither of us can sleep alone anymore.” San mumbles through the door. You hear shuffling, and you hold your breath thinking he might unlock the door. You’re not sure though, whether you’re holding your breath in hope or fear. But all you hear is a thud, indicating San sitting down. “Look, we don’t have to talk. You don’t even need to look at me, it just feels better for both of us if I’m holding you through the night, because at the end of the day, we still love each other, right?” 

San’s cheeks are marked with tear streaks, eyes red and puffy as he waits for any sign of confirmation from you. He loves you more than anything else, so much so that he’d give up everything for you, and needed to hear that you still loved him as well. He holds his breath, hands covering his face while he waits for you to show him a sign that you’re even listening. That you’re even there. 

You tip-toe over to the door, gently crouching down in front of it and rest your fingertips lightly on the wood, near where his shoulder is supposed to be. It’s cold and unyielding, but this is the bravest you’ll ever be. You hear a sigh on the other side, almost as if he can sense your presence.

“You know, you don’t have to keep it all in. From the first moment I saw you, I knew that there was so much going on in your life that it’d take time to get you to trust me. And I still want that. I want to know what’s going on in your life again. I want to hold you as you're crying again. And I want to repay you for all the times you’ve helped me.” San whispers, his voice showing how much of a toll this has taken on him. “I know a lot has changed, I travel a lot, and it’s harder for us to go anywhere without me being recognized. But I promise you that my feelings for you, the amount of love I feel for you, it’s all still there. If anything, I love you even more now than before. I don’t want to lose you Y/N. I want to keep fighting for us and I just need you to reach out to me, show me you want this too. Open the door, even if it’s just a crack, and let me help heal those open wounds. Yes there will be scars and yes it will take time, but I’m willing to wait.”

At this point you have tears streaming down your face as you withdraw your hand. You don’t move though, despite your broken mind willing you to do so, you stay rooted in your spot. Sniffles break through the other side, showing how much San is hurting. You feel as though there’s a war going on inside of you, your heart begging you to open the door and stop this madness, but your mind resolute on keeping this wall up. 

“I. Can’t.” you croak out, bringing your trembling hand to your lips and nibbling your thumbnail as you rise slowly. “They were right, I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you.”

“What? Who told you that?” San questions, confusion swirling in his head as he struggles to better understand where this was coming from. Standing, San presses his hands to the door, trying to open it only to find it locked. “Love, talk to me.”

“All I’ve been doing is hurting you, and I’m sorry. ” You whimper, your mind screaming at you to shut-up and not give away anything while your heart, your very being, is begging to be set free and allow him back in. “I, I love you, San.” And with that you rise, walking towards the bathroom attached to the room. You close the door, locking it and turning to the mirror to see your disheveled state. Tears stain your cheeks, your eyes have bags under them, and your hair is greasy and a mess from the lack of effort on your part to take care of yourself. 

Thoughts swirl and distort your reflection, harsh words clouding your mind. Some of the words surface from your past, some are from deep within you stemming from your lack of forgiveness for yourself. You don’t deserve forgiveness or a second chance. You don’t deserve him caring for you. You’re toxic. You do nothing but hurt him. Toxic. Toxic. 

You start screaming, starting in your gut and ripping out through your mouth, scaring the shit out of San who begins pounding on the door. You hear him calling out to you, but it’s muffled in your head as you continue to sob and scream at your reflection, running your hands through your hair before tugging on it out of frustration. The longer you look at yourself, the worse the feeling in your gut gets as the harsh words continue to tear you apart, worsening with each passing moment. With one last scream you pull your arm back and punch the mirror, desperate to feel something other than the all consuming self-hatred. And it works.

There’s a crack on the mirror with droplets of blood in the center. You bring your trembling hand into view, noticing your knuckles slightly bloodied and cut. The pain replaces all of the noise in your head, if only for a moment, and you become entranced by it. Raising your fist again, you punch the mirror once, twice, three more times before stopping to look at your handy work. The crack has grown and your hand is bleeding steadily, a couple of pieces of glass stuck in your knuckles. You’re ashamed of what and who you’ve become and raise your fist again when the door breaks down.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” San shouts, restraining your flailing and screaming form as tears stream down your face. Four pairs of hands are pulling you out of the bathroom, with San’s arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he pulls you on the bed. He immediately starts shushing you, whispering into your hair as he wraps his legs around you as well, restricting you so the others can clean you up and call an ambulance if need be. At this point though, he doesn’t need to as you’ve gone completely limp, sobbing into his neck loudly as the emotions you’ve kept hidden flood out in a wave that swallows you whole. “Shh baby, it’s okay. We’re here now and we’re not leaving you. I’ve got you, we’ve got you. It’s okay, it’s okay.” His voice is trembling, absolutely terrified by what he’s just experienced. It’s lucky that Hongjoong, Yunho, and Seonghwa arrived when they did or he might have been too late, having planned on coming to help San piece back together your relationship. It took Yunho and Seonghwa to break down the doors, and all four of them carried you out of the bathroom so you wouldn’t hurt yourself or them.

Soon, you run out of energy and are left whimpering and quivering in San’s hold, slowly coming to your senses as you hear running water, hushed murmurs, and the cabinet mirror (or what’s left of it) being opened in search of something. When the realization sets in that San, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Yunho have seen you at your worst, your chest tightens and your breathing becomes irregular which are the first signs of a panic attack. Something San was familiar with but hadn’t seen happen in some time.

“No no no no.” San repeats, noticing the changes in your behavior and looking towards the bathroom. “Hongjoong! It’s getting worse!”

Immediately, footsteps can be heard heading in your direction, and a gentle face appears in the corner of your eye. Hongjoong slowly reaches forward, grasping the hand that had begun curling in on itself to the point of almost drawing blood and pulling it away from your chest.

“Sweetie, grab my hand and squeeze that instead. You won’t hurt me, I swear.” Hongjoong whispers, slowly working his nimble fingers between your clenched ones. It comes as a surprise to him when, instead of resisting, your hand flies open into a rigid position. “Shh… it’s okay sweet-heart. How about this. Follow this.”

Your hand is placed on a firm and warm chest, a slight bump hitting your palm and drawing your attention to the pattern. It’s his heartbeat. Hongjoong’s pulse creates a rhythm in your head, distracting you from your fears and disdain towards yourself momentarily while Seonghwa and Yunho both return to the room, one holding medical supplies and the other holding a bowl with warm water and a towel. Crouching in front of you, Seonghwa notices the hand on Hongjoong’s chest is the one that’s injured, glancing at San who is fighting back tears as he strokes your hair.

“Y/n-ah. We have to clean your hand. Put your hand on San’s chest, follow his heartbeat.” Seonghwa says in a firm yet kind tone. At this point, you’ve lost almost all self-awareness, too exhausted to fight anyone as you nod partially, removing your hand from Hongjoong’s chest to place on San’s. “No sweetie. The other hand.” Seonghwa instructs, a heartbroken smile crossing his face at the sight of you behaving like a toddler who skipped their nap. You look confused, bringing your hand to your face to inspect it, finding the streaks of blood and bits of glass as a few tears trickle down your face. 

You’re not sure how long it takes for Seonghwa to properly clean your hands, or when you got changed into one of San’s shirts that fits like a dress, but as you’re lied down on the bed with San, who’s watching you intently to make sure any slight changes on your face are caught immediately, you find yourself in an almost numbed mind-frame. Too exhausted and confused to comprehend anything around you. 

Your eyes slowly close, the occasional tear slipping out only to be swiped gently away by San. San, the last thing you see before you fall into a dreamless sleep. And you are blissfully unaware of what’s to come in the morning.

As you snore softly in San’s grasp, your chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm, Yunho leaves the room to clean up the mess that has been left behind with Seonghwa following closely behind, most likely to comfort the younger boy. Hongjoong reaches forward to brush hair out your eyes and slowly strokes your cheek. Who knew such a small body could take this much pain? he wonders to himself, not even beginning to understand what caused you to struggle so much and break down so devastatingly. And that’s the only way to describe your attack. Devastating.

Like a tsunami, you receded from social outings and even your true love San, and once they realized what was happening and why you’d “changed” the wave had already hit. But his main question was voiced by San.

“Hyung.” San rasps out, looking up at Hongjoong with tears streaming down his face. “Why-or how did this happen? What caused this? What are we-what am I supposed to do?” 

San’s breathing becomes labored, almost as if the weight of the situation has sat fully on his chest. He chokes on a sob, looking at you in your angelic state while pressing a gentle and wet kiss to the top of your head while crying. He clutches you to his chest, rocking slightly and burying his face in your head. Hongjoong panics, thinking he’ll wake you but settles once realizing how exhausted you must be. “Why would she keep this from me?”

“San-ah, I honestly don’t have the answer to that.” Hongjoong mumbles, holding his own tears back with a few deep breaths before looking at the pair of you. He honestly considered Ateez his family, and you became his little sister that he felt he needed to protect from the world. If only he’d realized sooner how much damage the world had already done to you. “But I do know one thing. Now more than ever, she needs us.”

San looks at his hyung and leader, absolutely wrecked from the storm of emotions that flowed between you two. “How?” he croaks out.

“I’m not sure. But what I do know is that the storm hasn’t gone and that this is only the beginning of our journey.” Hongjoong places a hand on your cheek and his other on San’s hand, squeezing slightly in hopes of reassuring the younger boy. “I see how much you need her San. And how much she needs you. She’s scared San. More so than any of us right now. Which is why we have to stay with her no matter what. No matter what she might say or do to scare us off, we have to fight through it all and show her we are here for her. Because if we don’t.” Hongjoong’s voice cracks, revealing his true emotions and the toll this whole ordeal has taken on him. “We might lose her forever.”

San sits quietly, shaking slightly from the silent tears that are being shed and pulling you closer to his chest if that was even possible, crying himself into a slumber much like you did moments prior. Hongjoong rises, tucking both of you in like he would an upset child, and walking into the bathroom. The scene that awaits him is what finally breaks his own dam of tears, collapsing next to Seonghwa and Yunho who are both crouched down. They’ve hunched over, scrubbing the white tiles of your blood and throwing glass shards away in a paper bag. Upon noticing Hongjoong, Yunho drops what’s in his hands, embracing his leader and best friend. His tears fall as well, the sight of someone as strong as Hongjoong breaking down terrifying him. 

Seonghwa wipes the few stray tears before rising, quickly finishing the task of cleaning before ushering the two broken boys out of the room. He sits Hongjoon and Yunho down, pulling out a paper and pen and titling it “Y/n’s Healing.”

“We’ll make a plan, and take this journey one step at a time. Until Y/n’s finally healed.” Seonghwa states, immediately writing steps and plans he’s already come up with in his head. And so the journey begins.

[kikyan]

Stuck With You (Shizuo Ending)

Disclaimer!! I wrote this back in 2018/2019, like literally 2 years after I started writing fanfic so if this sucks yeah. . .that’s why. It’s also not really that inclusive at all so I apologize. This upload is really meant for those who were curious with the fanfic I wrote and I promise I will right a more inclusive fanfiction later on in the future with these characters to make it up!! 

“ Oh? It seems he even has the Dollars searching for you!” 

PART ONE

“ Izaya, please I apologize for anything that I did that caused you to do this, but I need to get back to Shizuo!” 

“ And do what? Apologize for my actions and say everything is fine? You truly are different than other humans (Y/N)! Besides, does Shizu-chan know?” 

“ K-know what?” 

“You can drop the act. I know who you are (Y/N) or should I sa-?!” 

“ Izaya, I won’t ask you again. Please, I apologize for what I said or did but I must return to my fiance.” 

“ I can’t do that (Y/N). You thought you had me fool, no you thought you had the whole world fooled, but unlike Shizu-chan, I know the real you. You are far too unique, too precious to be in the hands of that brute, that damned monster!” 

“ IZAYAAAAAA! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE AND GIVE ME MY DAMN FIANCE!” 

“ Speak of the Devil, he really did arrive, didn’t he? (Y/N) it’s better if you stay, wait no- I want you to see God punish his worthless creation, than have his Goddess forgive him and the cycle continues!” 

Grabbing her arm, (Y/N) was dragged to the door where Shizuo lay in waiting/ Shizuo’s eyes lit up with hope as (Y/N) arrived, quickly scanning her to ensure that she was not harmed by Izaya. 

“ This is low, even for you Izaya. What the hell do you want anyways?” 

“ I want (Y/N) of course! How rude of you to keep her from society, from me! She is too perfect, in fact, she is perfection! I can’t stand you of all people, a damn monster near her!” 

“ If I am a monster, what the hell does that make you?” 

“ That hurt Shizu-chan, but I’m sure my goddess, (Y/N) would forgive you nonetheless!” 

Grabbing a stop sign Shizuo prepared to swing at Izaya before seeing (Y/N) duck down. 

‘This is too dangerous for (Y/N)! I have to lead him away. . .’ 

“ You see (Y/N)! This monster swung at you! I told you, he would only hurt you! Stay with me, my Goddess!” 

Taking his knife out, he swung it at Shizuo cutting him horizontally across his chest. As Shizuo remained unfazed he swung the sign hitting Izaya as well sending him flying back inside the apartment complex. As Izaya got up and grabbed the knife and (Y/N), before placing the knife under (Y/N)’s throat causing her to panic slightly. 

“ (Y/N)! Izaya you damned bastard! Let her go, that’s low. . .” 

“ It’s fine! Besides, my Goddess is so forgiving, I'm sure she will let this slide! In fact, I feel as if instead of the way I initially thought, it was you Shizuo who used (Y/N)!” 

Shizuo looked down before clenching his fist and looking at Izaya with a crazed expression. 

“ SO WHAT? YOU MESS UP WITH EVERY OTHER PERSON OUT THERE. (Y/N) DOESN’T NEED THAT IN HER LIFE! SHE LOVES ME FOR WHO AND WHAT I AM! SO I AM A MONSTER, SO BE IT! AS LONG AS (Y/N) IS FINE WITH THAT, AS LONG AS SHE ACCEPTS THIS SIDE OF ME, THEN THAT’S ALL I NEED!” 

“ So you’re a leech, a filthy parasite-” 

“ (Y/N) NOW!” 

Izaya was dumbfounded as he turned to see (Y/N) duck down and Izaya was met with Shizuo’s fist. As Izaya grunted in pain, he turned to see (Y/N) looking at him in horror before turning to see Shizuo waltz up with a sturdy bookshelf and smiling at Izaya. 

“ So I guess today is the day I squash this damn cockroach! That has been infesting not only the city but our lives!” 

As Shizuo began to throw the bookshelf at Izaya he proceeded on hitting him repeatedly with immense force, causing Izaya to cough up blood and other fluids. 

“ If you kill me. . . Shizu-chan. . . w-will. . she forgive you. . . ?” 

Showing no sign of stopping, Shizuo proceeded to mercilessly hit Izaya while explaining, “ It doesn’t matter if she forgives me anymore. . . because I don’t plan on letting her go either way!” 

Letting out the last punch Shizuo looked to admire his work, a beaten and bruised Izaya no longer breathing. As Shizuo turned around he was met with (Y/N) looking in horror at the state Izaya was in before looking back up at Shizuo. 

“ WHAT’S WITH THAT EXPRESSION? I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T SCARED OF ME (Y/N)? WAS THAT A LIE? ARE YOU GOING TO CALL ME A MONSTER AND LEAVE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELS-!?” 

“ No, I won’t. I am sorry Shizuo, I wasn’t able to stop Izaya and you had to get your hands dirty! O-on the bright side. . . well. . . you can start your life violence free now peacefully!” 

“ Honestly. . .how did I. . .eVeR gEt StUcK wItH yOu?” 

After the whole incident, Shizuo was more protective of (Y/N). He rarely let her be by herself so whenever she would want to go anywhere he would go with her or sometimes even ask Celty to go with her as he feared she would get hurt or taken away from him. Currently, Shizuo is working as (Y/N) was at the park with Celty discussing certain things. 

“You’re quite pale. . . is everything alright? Are you feeling okay?” 

“ Of course, my pale complexion is because Shizuo didn’t let me leave for a week until after the whole Izaya incident. I do feel a little sick but that’s what I wanted to talk to you about!” 

“Sick? That doesn’t sound good. How sick are we talking about? If you need to see someone for it, I’m sure Shinra would be glad to see you.”

“ W-well. . . I wouldn’t say I'm that sick it’s just I wanted to know if these are possible symptoms of. . . well, how about I just explain it! I get these sudden food urges and most of the time I tend to throw up certain foods! I think, well what do you think Celty?” 

“Hm. . . You know, Y/N, I think I’ve heard of these exact symptoms before. Is it possible that  you’re pregnant?”

“ W-W-WELL U-UM M-MAYBE B-BUT T-THAT WOULD R-REQUIRE FOR ME A-AND S-SHIZUO I-I! WHAT SHOULD I DO CELTY!” 

“Well, the first thing you should do is to confirm our suspicions. Then, I think you and Shizuo have a big conversation to have.”

“C-c-could you come with me to the store to buy a test? I... I don’t want to go alone. . .” 

“Of course, Y/N. But I think we should walk to a nearby store, I don’t think my motorcycle would be good for the possible baby.”

“ Aww, I wanted to go on your motorcycle. . . okay! So onward this great adventure!” 

~~ 

“U-um Celty, I could be reading this wrong but if it’s pink. . . does that mean. . .” 

Celty jumped at (Y/N) as you could see her jumping in glee before taking a picture of the test and rapidly writing on her phone. 

“You did read what pink means, right? I may be wrong. . . But it would appear that you’re pregnant! I’m so happy for you two!”

“ W-W-WELL H-HOW SHOULD I T-TELL SHIZUO?” 

“Don’t freak out! Let me send the photo to Shinra just to confirm our suspicions. Afterward, we can make a plan for how you’ll tell him.”

“ OKAY, HURRY ASK HIM!” 

To: Shinra 

From: Celty

*image of the test* 

Big Emergency: Is the test positive or negative? It looks like Shizuo and Y/N might be expecting.

To: Love of my life

From: Shinra

Hm. . . well, it seems they are expecting! Tell them I congratulate them! Does Shizuo know? 

To: Shinra

From: Celty 

Now that we know, how should Y/N approach this with Shizuo?

To: Love of my life 

From: Shinra 

Leave that to me! Just tell (Y/N) to prepare his favorite meal. I’ll tell Shizuo that he has a surprise at home and to hurry home! I’ll see you soon as I need to help someone right now but take care Celty!

“ So he is going to tell him... .? I hope this goes well! I don’t know what to say or do...Celty want to go shopping with me for ingredients?” 

“Don’t worry, I’m sure it will go great. Both of you love each other and will be great parents if you decide to keep it. Now, let’s go shopping!” 

Soon leaving the store they headed out to purchase the ingredients needed to make Shizuo’s meal and discussed among themselves how to approach the situation. 

~ 

Tom looked down at this phone as he smiled in glee before telling Shizuo that there were no more clients and that they should head home. 

“ Are you sure? I don’t want to leave (Y/N) alone but if you still need me I could stay longer-!?” 

“ You, my friend do not understand, (Y/N) is waiting for you so go home. Besides she has a surprise for you, Shinra told me! Now head home!” 

“ A surprise? Well if you say so, Tom. . . see you tomorrow!” 

“ Also Shizuo, congrats!” 

“ On what?” 

“ Just go home and you’ll see!” 

As Shizuo was walking home he pondered about this so-called surprise as he noticed that Celty’s bike was parked outside their home. As he went inside he looked to see his favorite meal scattered along with the table as both Celty and (Y/N) were cooking and talking. 

“ Oh, Shizuo! Good afternoon! Dinner is almost ready and Shinra is almost here! He said that our close friends should be here today!” 

“ That’s cool but what’s this surprise I keep hearing about?” 

“ Silly it’s not a surprise if I tell you! Wait till Shinra gets here!” 

Soon after Shinra arrived and that’s when they all were in the living room in silence before (Y/N) pulled out the test she had and Celty pulling the message in case of a confirmation. 

“ S-shizuo. . . remember what you told me the day before the incident with Izaya... .?” 

Blushing slightly he nodded before letting his mind run loose, could she be-?! 

“ Well, it seems you might get the chance to be a father and I a mother!” 

Holding the test out for Shizuo to see the pink line indicating that (Y/N) was pregnant, he grabbed it before setting it down and jumping to hold his fiance. 

“ I won’t let you down, I won’t let us down. I promise I'll change to be the best father I can be, I swear (Y/N)!” 

“ Silly, you are already the best person you can be! I’m sure we will be the best of parents!�� 

Exchanging a kiss, they all laughed and gathered around the dinner table to consume the food made by both (Y/N) and Celty. (Y/N) was with child, Shizuo’s child and he vowed to protect you both no matter the cost. He didn’t care if you looked at him like a monster in the near future because he wasn’t letting you or the child leave him, after all, it was possible for a monster like him to be happy, but he wasn’t going to let this happiness leave and be destroyed. The child was born healthy, it was a boy named Izaya, ironically. Izaya was gifted with many things such as friends for his kind behavior and kind mother. He never had problems and if he did well they would disappear the next day, like his principal when he chose to falsely accuse him of attacking someone using his father as an excuse. Well, let’s just say he isn’t alive anymore. Any friend that double-crossed him would immediately come back and apologize saying how their mother told them that what they did was wrong. It didn’t matter if Shizuo was a monster because he had (Y/N) and his child was the red string that binds them together. Seriously, how did Shizuo get to be so lucky and get stuck with you? 

[breadoffoxy]

The D Box

Summary: What happens when you're moving and your friend accidentally unpacks your sex toy box? Chaos and advantageous situations.

Written for the BTS Ghostie Writers Bingo Bash. Prompt: "I’ve made a mistake.”

Pairing: Yoongi x f. Reader, Yoongi x f. Reader x Jin x Jungkook

Genre: Smut, NSFW

Warnings: NSFW, Angst, Smut, Foursome, FMMM, unsafe sex, oral sex, sex toys, language, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, anal sex, vaginal sex, animal tail butt plugs, vibrators, hair pulling, exhibitionism, sub!Jungkook, sub!Reader, Dom!Yoongi, Dom!Jin

Word Count: 6,318

A/N: Thanks @chelsea-chee​ for helping me figure out some of the logistics for this fic. Foursomes are hard.

"Remember we need toilet paper. Oh, and paper plates because we don't want to worry about dishes. Did we add dish soap to the list? Toilet paper..." You scratch your head trying to remember everything.  

Namjoon stands half way out your door. "Yep, we went over  it  y/n. Don't worry, I have it all memorized."  

Hoseok  waves his phone from where he stands behind your mutual friend, a list of all the supplies you need up on his screen. You nod at  Hoseok  reassuringly, but Namjoon thinks the nod is for himself.  

"Great!" He claps his hands. "Now that that's settled, we'll be going now." Your clumsy friend turns, nearly missing the small step at the end of your little porch, following a laughing  Hoseok  to  Hoseok's  bright yellow car parked in front of the street.  

You hide a snicker behind your hand, but it gets cut off into an indignant, "Hey!" when two excited bodies bump into you on their way out the door.  

"Sorry y/n!" Jimin and Taehyung exclaim at the same time, giggling as they head over to Jimin's  sleek  black car.   

"Don't forget the sauce this time!" You yell across the yard.  

Taehyung salutes you, shouting "Yes, boss!"  

Opening the car door, Jimin points at you with keys in hand. "You guys better have so many boxes unpacked by the time we are back, or I'm going to eat your tacos!"  

"Don't you dare touch my tacos Jimin!" You yell back aggressively.  

"YA, stop yelling! You're going to irritate your new neighbors!" Your friend  Jin  screams somewhere within the house.  

Yep, you were off to a great start.  

The sound of tires screeching fills the street as Jimin takes off with Taehyung to pick up your food order. You shut the door, screaming internally.   

"You ok?" Yoongi asks. He looks up from his phone from where he's sitting on your cheap futon surrounded by boxes. His form is swallowed by a large, comfy looking, bright hoodie.   

You walk over and slide down on the floor, leaning against a stack. Gazing around the room, you look at the boxes that fill up the tiny living room area. Pretty much your whole life right here.   

"Yeah, I'll be fine." You say, wiping a hand down your face tiredly.   

You haven't had a restful moment in  a while . You just escaped a crazy, toxic roommate. It was a struggle to find a place you could afford on your own, having to depend on roommates for years. It was liberating, but at the same time you were scared to be all alone.  

"Don't worry." Yoongi looks back at his phone. Shaking his head, his beautiful dark brown, nearly reddish bangs sways around his  forehead. "We'll  get you all set up and everything will be ok, trust me."  

" Thanks,  Yoongi." Your heart feels a little warmer, knowing your friends were with you, that  he  was here with you. Shyly, your fingers play with the ends of your sweater.  

"What do you mean ' we '." An agitated voice says, making you look up to see an irritated Jungkook carrying a heavy box labeled kitchen like it weighs nothing.   

Jungkook's cute strawberry red hair contrasts slightly with the serious face he is wearing and his bulging muscles. He's wearing an unbuttoned light blue shirt with a white shirt with a deep scoop underneath. You look away before you start admiring the sweat glistening on his chest.  

"I'm the only one moving things to their rooms." Jungkook huffs.  

"I'm doing my job." Yoongi leans further back into the uncomfortable piece of furniture, making it look anything but. "I'm the moral support. Good job, by the way."   

Jungkook's eyes widen at his elder's praise. "Aw, it's nothing really."  

"Way to carry the team, Kooky." You add, giving him a thumbs-up.  

"Find another box for me boss." He grins at you, smiling cutely at the nickname. He could never be mad at the two of you really.  

"Jungkook where is that box?"  Jin  peeks his blonde head around the corner where your minuscule hallway kitchen is. He waves his arms clad in a comfy looking sweater around in impatience.  

"Don't tell me what to do." Jungkook grumbles, making his way towards the kitchen.  

"Well then hurry it up." Fires back  Jin .   

You just shake your head from the muted bickering. Those two never stop. Standing up, you start circling the boxes, trying to find the labels you wrote in black marker. Slowly, you start organizing the boxes by room, making it easy for Jungkook to move them to the right places. Yoongi, true to his word, says words of encouragement from his spot on the couch as you work. The clattering of dishes can be heard in the kitchen,  Jin  taking over and organizing that space for you.   

"This should be the last bed room box,  Kookie ." You hand him a box with a 'D' labeled on the side. "Looks like it's a desk box, so I don't know if you want to start putting it out on my desk?"  

"For sure." He nods, taking the box from you, walking down the short distance to your bedroom.  

He took off his blue shirt long ago now, and you can't help but eye his back appreciatively as he leaves the room.  

"Don't make me jealous y/n." Yoongi warns behind you, not looking up from his phone.  

You sputter incoherently, staring at the dark-haired man with wide eyes. He looks up from his phone with a devious smirk.  

"I'm kidding." He chuckles and looks back at his phone, texting rapidly. "The kid has a nice back."  

Oh. Your heart falls a little bit at his teasing. Now you're the jealous one.  

"He does." You concede pitifully.  

Your  remark  makes Yoongi pause his texting. A confused and worried look crosses his face at your tone and he tries to catch your eyes with his. You already averted your gaze from the man, looking around the room for something to distract yourself with.   

"I'll take this one to the kitchen." You luckily find a box with a 'K' labeled on top of one of the remaining stacks. Sliding it off, you walk away quickly, and pretend you don't hear the questioning call of your name from the man sitting on the couch.  

Somewhat haphazardly, you put the box on your tiny counter. You see your tall, broad, blonde, handsome, plus the whole thesaurus on adjectives for beautiful, friend  Jin  unwrapping your assorted coffee mugs and organizing them in one of the small cabinets.   

"I hope there was nothing fragile in that one." He looks over a little concerned before continuing his task.   

You grab the scissors on the counter and cut the tape on the box. Silently, you open it and start unpacking its contents, unwrapping bundled silverware and utensils.   

Jin  stops what he is doing to turn and face you fully. "Ok, this is the part where you are supposed to be 'I know what I'm doing  Jin '." He changes the pitch of his voice to sound like yours at the end. "Seriously, what's up?"  

"I-" you start, but don't know how to continue. "Where should we put this silverware. The door next to the fridge, or this one here?"  

"That one makes better since with the organization I think."  Jin  suggests, trying not to push but the curiosity and worry is evident in his posture.  

You pull out the silverware holder at the bottom of the box and start mindlessly filling it with the now scattered silverware on the counter.  

"All this is so new, you know." You shrug, focusing on the task in front of you instead of the man beside you. "Guess I'm a little scared. Mainly just tired probably. I'll be ok."  

"I'll be right back."  Jin  pats you on the shoulder as he scoots around you in the narrow alley kitchen.  

Continuing your task, you don't notice when he returns until a picture frame of you and the rest of your friends helping you move is placed on the corner of the counter. He gives you a smile, angling it just right.  

"See, look. It feels homier in here already."  Jin  smiles at you, his hand comes up to rub your shoulder reassuringly. "We'll be here for you."  

"Thanks." A resemblance of a smile appears on your face, and you bump your hip into his.   

The blonde man's smile turns softer at the action. He grabs a handful of other utensils to put in a neighboring door. His eyebrows furrow suddenly. "Also, Yoongi looks  kinda  pitiful in there. Did he say something untactful and make you upset? I can make him beg for forgiveness."  

You let out a puff of air. "Nothing happened, we were just admiring Jungkook's backside and he made a joke. Nothing bad, I just..." you shrug, not really sure what you want to say anymore.  

"Ah I get it."  Jin  rests his hips on the counter, turning to face you with his arms crossed. "You want him to admire your backside, isn't that right?"  

" Wha - no  pshhhh ."   

You look away quickly, eyes falling on the picture next to  Jin  on the counter instead. Suddenly, a horrific realization strikes you.  

" Jin , if you talked to Yoongi, you got that picture from the living room, right?"   

"Yeah, got it from a box with a lower case 'd' on it. Should I not have?"  Jin  looks at you a little lost on why you are asking now about it.  

Everything seems to freeze as your mind hyper-processes everything. You only had one desk box, and if it was in the living room, then the box Jungkook was going through was definitely not your desk box.  

"I've made a mistake."  

With that, you dash out of the kitchen, leaving a very confused looking  Jin  behind. You nearly slam into the wall as you round the corner into the hallway, nearly scaring the life out of Yoongi. You skitter towards your room and stand in the door way frozen, much like the man giving you a deer in the headlights look as he holds a large, thick, silicone dildo in his hands.  

The box with the capital 'D' didn't stand for desk, but for dick. It sits opened in front of your friend, revealing a plethora of toys and you feel yourself die with shame a little on the inside.  

Jungkook gets over his shock at your sudden appearance, and he wiggles his eyebrows at you suggestively while waving the dildo. Its flexible, curved build, makes the tip bounce at the motion.  

"So-" Jungkook can be a cocky ass and he knows it.  

"Jungkook, no." You try to cut off anything he's about to say.  

"-you have quite the collection here. How often do you use this." he points the dildo at you, and you glare at the rather generous sized head.  

"Put it back in the box, now." You demand.  

"Put what back in the box y/n?"  

"Don't be a brat Jungkook."  

"Oh, come on just say it." He raises an eye brow as a challenge, and his finger presses the button at the end of the device.   

The dildo hums lowly as it starts vibrating on different settings. You glare at him, hoping he would get bored and put it away, but instead he starts clicking through the different speed settings. He stares at the dildo in wonder at the highest setting, and that is when you make your move.  

You run, tackling the man on the bed. It feels like you hit a solid wall, and the air is knocked out of the both of you. Scurrying up his body, you try to grab the vibrating dildo before he recovers. The dick box becomes a victim to your scramble as your foot kicks it, knocking it off the bed and its contents clattering to the floor noisily.   

Just as your fingers graze the dildo, Jungkook recovers. The next thing you know, you're being flipped and now you are the one laying on the bed with Jungkook hovering over you. One of his hands easily encompasses both of yours and he holds them above your head. Both of you are panting heavily, his face too close to yours and his breath fans your face. Your eyes are lost in his and something about this atmosphere feels too heavy to just be a friendly game.   

Ever so slowly, the purple dildo comes closer to your face. You hear it more than see its approach as your eyes are glued onto the dilated eyes above you. The soft tip brushes against your lips, the vibrations making you jolt from pleasure and unexpected anticipation.  

"What-Jungkook, get off her right now!" Jin yells from the door way, shocked.  

The spell between the two of you is broken, and Jungkook flies off your body as if electrocuted. Jin stomps over and rips the dildo out of the younger man's hands and turns it off.  

Propping yourself up on your elbows, you avoid the worried glance of Jin, and become mortified when you see the figure silently standing in the door way. When your gaze meets his, Yoongi looks down and picks up something off the floor. He stands back up and you can now see him holding your magic wand.  

Just fucking great.  

You hide your face in your hands in shame and let out a mortified groan. "I made a mistake, I'm so sorry guys. Just please ignore all of this."  

"It's no big deal." Yoongi says, before turning the magic wand on experimentally. "It's just sex toys."  

"This is a lady's private collection." Jin says, trying to defend your honor.   

"Well, the lady does look like she needs to relax." Yoongi says as he approaches the bed.  

He sits on the edge of the bed and looks at you. You can't decipher the emotions in his eyes. Yoongi bites his bottom lip nervously, and Yoongi never does nervous. Not with you at least. The tip of the vibrating, silicone head touches your leg, making you jump.  

"I know this is a sex toy, but it's also a massager. You've been so uptight lately- sorry- I just want to help. Can I?" He asks sincerely.   

The look in his eye is one you can't refuse. Biting your own lip in return, you nod. He moves the wand up and down your leg gently, soothing your tired limb.  

"Give that here." Jin tosses the purple toy on the bed before snagging the magic wand from Yoongi.   

Your shocked that the man doesn't drop it in the box, but instead crawls on the bed behind you. Soothing vibrations massage the tired muscles on your back, making you moan in appreciation.  

"Y/n wants her backside taken care of, isn't that right love?"  Jin  says as if  it's  the most obvious thing.  

With your eyes now closed, you shift to make more of your back  accessible . You enjoy the impromptu massage while trying to dispel the sight of sex toys everywhere in the same room with your friends. In your blissful state, you completely miss the goading look  Jin  sends Yoongi over your shoulder, and the dark-haired man's scowl he throws back at the blonde.  

"Woah, y/n, are you a furry?" Jungkook calls out excitedly.   

This has your eyes open instantly, head whipping to the side to look at the youngest, ready to deny everything. In his hands are two tails. One a bright pink bunny tail and the other a red and black fox tail. Attached to the ends of both are flared, glass plugs.   

Will the shame ever  end?  

You slap a hand to your face, hoping to knock the embarrassment out. No point trying to convince the red head now. "It's more for aesthetic than anything, I think it looks cute. The fox one is easier to...ah nevermind."  

"What? I'm curious." Jungkook asks. You don't know if the appearance of his bambi eyes is genuine or if he's acting naive to make you explain embarrassingly.  

Yoongi leans over slightly and plucks the fox plug from Jungkook by pulling on the end of the tail.   

"I bet it makes it easier to masturbate." He says casually, eyeing the toy appreciatively.  

"Don't say it so casually!" You shriek.  

Leaning forward, you try to snag the tail from your friend. However, you don't make it far as a hand slaps on your shoulder, stopping you from lunging at Yoongi. The magic wand switches  rhythms  and moves lower down your back.  

"Y/n needs to relax, stop taunting her you two." Jin orders.   

Jin's about to say more but an alert goes off on his phone. He removes his hand from your shoulder and pulls his phone out of his back pocket. Yoongi bushes the fox tail up and down your leg teasingly. The fur tickles your skin and you kick him. He grabs your ankle before it leaves his side, a dark warning in his eyes.  

"Looks like they are all stuck in traffic." Jin's voice cuts through the air. "Seems like they'll be awhile."  

"Perfect." Yoongi purrs, eyes never leaving yours.  

"I'm so hungry, why is that perfect?" Jungkook whines.   

"So, hear me out." Yoongi starts.  

"I don't think I like where this is going." Jin sighs disapprovingly.   

"Since we got extra time, why don't we really help y/n relax? We can cure Jungkook of his curiosity too." Yoongi proposes, completely ignoring his elder.  

Jungkook pauses his petting of the pink, fluffy anal plug. "uhhh-"  

Jin scoffs, "As if she would agree to th-"  

"Let's do it." You agree, shocking everyone into complete silence. The quiet humming of the magic wand now sounds deafening.  

"W-what really?" Jin asks completely astounded.  

You stare determinedly into Yoongi's shocked eyes, "Yeah, why not. Maybe a good orgasm could get me to chill. Are you up for it?"  

"Oh shit." Jungkook gapes at you. The bunny tail falls from his fingers and onto the bed.  

The magic wand's head disappears from your back, and an arm wraps around your waist, pulling you back into Jin's chest and away from Yoongi. Jin places the wand's head on your upper thigh, dangerously close to your core. "Are you sure?"  

Looking up at him, you plead, "Yes, please take care of me."  

As soon as the words leave your mouth, the wand is placed between your legs, pressing hard into you and making you whimper. The strong vibrations are nearly overwhelming, even over your jeans. You weren’t used to not being in control as you only used your toys on yourself, and it felt oh so different with your friend behind you running the show and the two others watching you with their jaws hanging open. It turned you on in a way you’ve never been before.  

“Jungkook, be useful and grab her leg would you.” Jin commands.   

The youngest snaps out of his daze and sits down on the side of the bed similarly to Yoongi. He grabs your leg and pulls it towards him. Yoongi also spreads your other leg out more, exposing you to them even further.  

You whine in frustration when the hand around your waist tightens, halting your hips from humping into the toy.  Jin  presses a button on the wand, making the speed increase even mroe.   

“ Oooh , f-fuck,  nnnngh ." You're a moaning mess, shaking at the unrelenting vibrations.  

Warm lips brush your ear, and Jin whispers. "That's it love, just ride it out. Why don't you look at him?"  

Not even realizing your eyes were closed, you open them and look with half lidded eyes at Yoongi. His grip tightens on your leg as he looks at you with blown out eyes.   

"Think of all the times you used this on yourself, you naughty girl. Did you think of him, hmmm?" Jin continues to whisper in your ear.  

"Mmmm, Yoongi." You gasp, as your mind falls into that head-space.   

Teeth tug on your ear, pulling until you look up at Jin. "Do you think of all of us?"  

"I-uggggh-y-yes." You admit, the shame of him knowing your secret turning you on even more.  

You feel the rumble in his chest more than you hear it. The pride rolls off of him in waves.  

"Show us the face when you come, go on, let go."   

His words make you snap, and you come, fluids immediately soaking your underwear and creating a visible wet patch through your jeans. Your eyes roll back into your head as your body shakes.  Jin  keeps the wand in-between your legs, forcing you to ride out your orgasm. He only turns it off when your hand pushes at the hand holding the toy.  

"Wow-that was..." Jungkook starts, words lost as he stares at your post orgasmic body.  

"Y-yeah that was something alright." You pant out.   

"Just something." Jin pouts, pushing you forward.  

You can't help but laugh as you fall sideways on the bed. You turn your head to look at his tall frame behind you. A happy expression is on his face as he finally sees you smile genuinely. " Thanks,   Jin ."  

"Anytime, wait errrrr, I-" He cuts himself off as you start laughing hysterically. That is until the fox tail gets thrown into your face.  

"What the hell Yoongi." You sit up, and are surprised to see Yoongi looking at you grumpily.  

"What did I tell you, don't make me jealous." Yoongi says firmly. He picks up the bunny tail off the bed and looks at Jungkook. "Strip."  

"R-really?" Jungkook's voice cracks. Quickly, he clears it and tries again, this time a lot deeper. "Really?"  

Yoongi looks back to you and asks gruffly, "Is this clean?"  

"Of course." You huff indignantly.   

"Is it ok with you?" Jin asks, still ever the gentleman despite the earlier scene.  

"Yeah." You lick your lips as you eye Jungkook. "That is, if you are ok with it Kookie."  

Jungkook gulps. "P-please take care of me." He quotes.   

Literally, how can the man be so cute and hot at the same fucking time. It is unfair.   

"Then strip, baby boy." Yoongi repeats.   

Jungkook stands up and quickly throws his shirt off. You can't help the "Fuck." that escapes your mouth at the sight of his chiseled chest. You want to lick it so bad. The red head continues to undress, stepping out of his pants to reveal strong thighs, but stops as his hands brush the band of his boxers.  

To make Jungkook not alone in his nudity and hopefully more comfortable, you grab the ends of your sweater and pull it over your head in one  fell  swoop. This brings the attention back to you, and you feel three sets of eyes bore into your skin. You shimmy out of your jeans, your soaked underwear not doing much to hide your wet, swollen folds. Rolling over to be on all fours, you start crawling across the bed and towards Jungkook, leaving your head directly level with his hard cock.   

"We can do it together Kookie, if you want?" You suggest. You shift your weight so you can move a hand up to trace his defined abs. The muscles ripple under your touch.  

"Can we?" His breath stutters as you lean forward and lick a trail up his stomach.  

" Of course,  Kookie. May I?" You trace the tops of his boxer.   

Jungkook nods vigorously. "Please touch me, all of me."  

"Now that's a good bunny." You tease, brushing your hand down across his straining member.   

Two hands appear on Jungkooks waist, and you finally notice Yoongi stood up and placed himself behind the red head. He pulls Jungkook's underwear down, leaving Jungkook completely bare.  

From your position,  it's  easy for you to rest your weight on your elbows and lean down to take Jungkook's cock into your mouth.   

"Ahhhh y/n." Jungkook whines, watching you bob your head up and down on his dick.   

You tilt your head to look up at him, his expression completely fucked out. You smile up at him as best as you can with his cock in your mouth as he brushes his hands through your hair softly.  

The bed dips next to you and you feel two hands deftly unhook your bra. Yoongi brings his hands around Jungkook to help slide it off completely, while  Jin's  hands skim your bare back before tugging your underwear down. You help him kick it off, leaving you and Jungkook completely naked between the fully clothed Jin and Yoongi.   

Your lips come off of Jungkook's cock with a pop. "Yoongi, there should be some lube in that box somewhere."   

Yoongi searches for the lube, and you try to see if you can peek around Jungkook to help spot it from your position. A smack on your rear makes you yelp, but you can't turn your head as Jungkook still has a needy grip on your hair.   

"Don't start neglecting little Kookie now y/n."  Jin  massages your ass with his hands, just to give it another spank. "Go on, give him some nice licks."  

You moan at Jin's dominance, liking his control over you. Wanting to please him, you stick out your tongue and start licking Jungkook's cock, making him moan in return. Just the tip though, to be a tease as you don't want him coming yet.  

"Good girl." Jin praises, still groping your ass. You arch your back, going lower on Jungkook with your mouth, so close to his balls, while your ass hangs higher in the air.   

"Found it." Yoongi exclaims, holding the lube in the air like a prize. He squirts a generous amount of lube on his finger before tossing the bottle over you to Jin. "This will probably be easier if you kneel on the bed."  

Familiar hands grab your waist and pull back, dragging you across the bed to make room for Jungkook mid-lick. You can't help moaning again when your hair gets pulled from the action. Jungkook kneels on the bed, soothing your hair back as he sits on his knees in front of you.   

Yoongi lifts his lubed finger and slowly circles Jungkook's hole, the dick in front of you twitching as a reaction. "How does this feel Jungkook?"  

"Different, but good I think." Jungkook answers shakily.   

It's your turn to feel a lubed finger circle your tight hole. You try to angle your hips so Jungkook and Yoongi have a better view of the finger dipping into you. When Jungkook's hips thrust forward, you assume a finger is slowly entering him as well.  

"A-aaah, Oh god." Having your mouth sucking his dick, and Yoongi's finger in his ass is becoming too much for the man. "I'm going to nnngh shit-"  

Your mouth leaves Jungkook's cock when Jin smacks your ass again. Yoongi's finger leaves Jungkook's asshole as well. "Well, we can't have that yet. Your still not a little rabbit yet." Yoongi smacks Jungkook's ass too before picking the rabbit tail up, covering the plug with a glob of lube.  

"Wait, wait I want to see." Jin exclaims, with his finger sliding into you further. Your pussy clenches around nothing in want.  

"You hear that, hands and knees, just like y/n." Yoongi commands.  

Wanting to please and be pleased, Jungkook has his hands on the bed with his ass in the air in a heartbeat. You nearly coo at the sight. The red head still looks slightly nervous so you reach a hand underneath you to gather up your slick juices. You hold your now glistening finger out to Jungkook and he looks at it with wide eyes.  

"Take a- nnnnngh" The finger in your ass pulls out, and the glass of your fox plug circles your hole teasingly. "a taste mmmmmh ahhhhhh."  

Jungkook  envelops  your finger in his hot mouth, sucking it clean. He moans around your wet digit as he watches the anal plug enter you slowly, red fox tail now sticking out of your ass. You wiggle your ass playfully, making  Jin  laugh before slapping your bruising ass.  

"We have a little vixen on our hands here." He chuckles. You feel a weight on the tail pulling at you as Jin plays with end of the toy. Your finger is nearly bit as the toy finishes being pushed into Jungkook's ass.   

Quickly, you pull your finger out of his mouth as he grits out. "Y-yoongi ugggh."   

"Looks like we have a little bunny here too." Yoongi chuckles at Jungkook's panting form, giving his firm butt a spank.  

" Mmm  such a pretty little bunny."  Jin  agrees. "Now go get him little fox."   

You lunge forward, tail swinging, and mouth going down on Jungkook's cock. He chokes out in surprise, making you almost choke as he accidentally thrust his hips forward.  

"Careful rabbit." Yoongi warns, pulling at the pink rabbit tail before stuffing it back in.   

"Ahhhh ah!" Jungkook is a mess, his hips rotating in a chaotic rhythm between your mouth and the toy Yoongi is thrusting in and out of his tight asshole.   

It doesn't take long until Jungkook comes, his hot, white cum squirts into your mouth. You swallow around his cock, milking him dry as Yoongi continues to thrust the toy in and out to carry out the young man's orgasm.  

The two of you stop your ministrations on the bunny man as he tries to squirm away from over stimulation. He collapses on the bed, panting heavily.  

"You ok there Jungkook?" Jin asks worriedly.   

Rubbing the young man's back, you try to help him calm down. Your hand reaches to take the tail out of him, but he wiggles his butt away from you.   

"N-no, please, I want to keep it in. If that's ok?" Jungkook whines, turning to look at the toy.   

"Of course, it looks cute on you." You pat the pink puff ball, making him groan as the plug jostles in him slightly. You quickly take your hand away. "Ah, sorry."   

"S'all good." He slurs, smiling at you tiredly.  

You sit back down on your butt. The fox tail splays out behind you, while your legs are bent and spread open in front of you. Yoongi's eyes are glued to your wet pussy, and you bite your lip nervously. After all that's happened, there's really nothing left to be embarrassed about.  

"Yoongi." You call out, and his eyes shoot up to yours. "Do you want me to take care of you?"   

The  dark-haired  man bites his own lip as his eyes run up and down your body. With his big hoodie on, you can't tell how affected he is by the situation. You get back on your knees and pull the ends of his hoodie up, ready to remedy it. Yoongi raises his hands in response, giving you permission to lift it up over his head. You do the same with his shirt, and your fingers trail down his torso to rest at the tops of his jeans.  

Looking up, you want to get confirmation to continue, but before you can ask, soft lips are on your own, and your being pushed down against the bed. You gasp in surprise, allowing a hot tongue to enter your mouth and dominate your own. A moan from you echoes into his mouth, and you wrap your legs around his waist. Using the element of surprise, you roll over, taking Yoongi with you. This leaves you straddling him, his hair fanned out against your bed. Yoongi bites at your lower lip and pulls, and you respond by grinding down on him, hard.  

"Ahh, fuck y/n." His hands fly to your waist, trying to stop your motions. He doesn't want to blow his load right away.   

Your teasing grin is wiped away when a bare knee comes onto the bed, right in front of you. Following the limb up, you see a huge dick, hard and red, straining up against a toned chest. The sight of bare broad shoulders nearly makes you choke.  

How can a man be built this handsome?   

Jin smirks down at you, as if he knows exactly what you are thinking. "I almost want to keep you."  

Before you can give a snarky reply, or even think of one, Yoongi's hips thrust into yours, making your breath hitch. He continues to dry hump you, making sure you don't forget the position you are in.  

"Y-yoongi mmmnnngh." you can't help that your hands start traveling over your own body, and fondling your bouncing breasts, delirious for more.  

"Not a chance" Yoongi talks over your moans, glaring at the man half kneeling on the bed.   

"Hmph, fine then. Hey, Jungkook."  Jin  calls out to the bunny watching from his  curled-up  spot. "Why don't you relieve Yoongi of his pants?"  

Jungkook springs to action, crawling over to Yoongi and reaching between Yoongi's and your bodies. Yoongi holds you up so you don't start humping Jungkook's hand as the younger man unbuttons and unzips Yoongi's jeans. Hopping off the bed, Jungkook grabs the ends of Yoongi's jeans and gives a solid pull, taking it off in one go. Everyone looks back at the youngest surprised.   

"Where'd you learn how to do that?" Jin interrogates.  

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Jungkook fires back smugly.  

"Yes, that's why I fucking asked you, idiot." Jin seethes, glaring at the man with the bunny smile, now reaching to pull off Yoongi's underwear. With a quick tug, every one of you is now completely naked.   

You take a moment to admire Yoongi's build as you rise up, positioning your pussy over his thick cock. Slowly, you slide down on him, taking your time. It's better than you ever fantasized and especially better than that purple dildo you own.  

Yoongi hisses when you bottom out all the way down to his hilt. His fingers grip into your sides, leaving indents in your flesh. You take a moment, getting used to the stretch before slowly swiveling your hips. The reaction you get is immediate, both of you moaning loudly, and unashamedly.  

A hand weaves through your hair, and pulls, using it as leverage to drag your head forward. You come face to face with a well-endowed cock. Jin guides it over your lips, and you open them obediently, allowing him to stuff his cock into your tight, little mouth. He uses the grip on your hair to control the speed in which you bob your head up and down.  

If all that wasn't enough, Jungkook starts playing with the tail sticking out of your ass. Waving the end of the tail excitedly, you groan around Jin's dick as the plug shifts inside you. Jungkook gets more adventures and quickly grabs the base of the tail, fucking the plug in and out of your asshole. Eyeing Yoongi's dick plunging in and out of your vagina, Jungkook sets the rythm to match his elder's pace.  

It's a sight to behold, that's for sure. Your riding Yoongi vigorously as your approaching your high, getting your face fucked by Jin, and a curious Jungkook probing at your ass with a fox plug. One of Yoongi's hands reaches up to fondle the balls smacking against your face, and Jungkook quickly follows Yoongi's example by fondling Yoongi's balls with a hand as well.   

While your moans are muffled from Jin's cocks, the three men's moans are music to your ears. Their grunts are soft, and blend in beautifully with their panting breaths. With each of your holes being fucked tirelessly, it doesn't take long for you to come undone again. It sets off a chain reaction, your pussy clenching around Yoongi makes him explode into you, cum filling you up. The sight of Yoongi and you orgasming underneath him has Jin cumming into your mouth. You do your best to swallow as you ride Yoongi through the both of your orgasms.   

"This is so fucking hot." Jungkook stares at awe at the scene before him. He's completely enchanted by the sounds of everyone's whines and moans, so desperate and needy, and stops fucking you with the fox tail.  

Jin lets go of your hair, allowing you to collapse on Yoongi. The tall man pats your head before leaving to find something to clean everyone up with. Yoongi helps you roll off of him and his dick, tucking your exhausted form into his side. A soft look crossing his features as he brushes your hair away from your face.  

"Hey." he says with a small smile.  

"Hey, you." you reply with a matching smile.   

"Hey, me." Jungkook adds in, feeling left out.  

You giggle, snuggling more into Yoongi as he kicks out at Jungkook.  

"Jungkook, I love you, but please leave." Yoongi says with a threatening tone.  

"Fine, I see how it is." The words he says doesn't match the bunny grin on his face. He walks out of your room to help Jin find something to clean up with, pink tail still in his ass.  

A finger comes up to your chin, tilting your face up. Your lips meet Yoongi's in a gentle kiss that makes you melt. He might have a hard time with telling you how he really feels, but this kiss tells you everything. So much so, you almost miss the sound of the front door banging open.  

"Tacos are here!" Jimin's voice cheers loudly.  

"Toilet paper too!" Sings Hoseok.  

Yoongi scrambles up, the fastest you've ever seen him and he slams your bedroom door closed. He locks it and turns to look back at you completely exasperated.  

"Shouldn't we help them out?" You ask worriedly.   

"Ahhhhhhh why are you naked!?" Namjoon shrieks.  

"Why aren't you naked!?" Jin shrieks back to successfully confuse Namjoon.  

"Is that a rabbit tail Jungkook? Nice." Taehyung's deep voice echoes through the hall.  

"Uhhhh, y/n made a mistake?" Jungkook tries.  

"Nevermind." You grumble, making Yoongi smile at you deviously. "Let them suffer."