#also i was an idiot and did send a mess to The Ex and this dude. this dude is not over it. me neither but | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wardenparker · 2 years ago

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The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Dating Your Ex - ch 5

Marcus Pike x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

When Marcus unexpectedly runs into his ex-wife he is plunged into a world of complications where rekindled attraction and deep-seated insecurities reign. Unfortunately for him, it is also a world where his ex-wife is not the only ‘ex’ around, as a new case crosses his desk that will require all hands on deck. ✨💖Inspired by and based upon absurdthirst’s Tequila💖✨

Rating: Mature, but as always this blog is 18+ Word Count: 7.9k Warnings: **Blanket warnings for this series include: divorce, break ups, collegiate Greek life, underage drinking, food/alcohol consumption.** Generic bashing of Patrick Jane, lots of guilt and self-flagellation in the inner monologues. Summary: As the stress starts to pile up, there is some serious conversation to be had between two people who have notorious trouble communicating. Notes: Every step forward these two take just leaves me a little more in love with them.

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4

The day ends up being excruciatingly long. Taking the daguerreotypes back to your lab doesn't reveal anything much at first besides the fact that they were very improperly stored for many years, but over the course of several hours things begin to slowly paint a picture - so to speak. When your eyes start to feel crossed, fuzzy, and glossy around eight-thirty that night, you're grateful to see Marcus appear in the laboratory doorway looking run down but thoroughly unaccompanied by the agents from Texas.

"Hey," you hum, suddenly very pleased with yourself for sending an exhausted Silvia home half an hour ago.

“Hey.” Marcus shoves his hand through his hair and sighs. “I’m sorry, I know it’s too late for dinner - we hit a dead end and I just wanted to see you.”

"Why is it too late?" Peeling off your gloves, you toss them in the bin under the far counter as you round your lab table, offering him a hug if he wants one. "If it's because you want to head home and have some alone time, that's fine. But it's not too late for us to have dinner together, if that's what you're thinking."

"To be honest, I don't want to go out." Marcus admits, feeling completely drained from having to deal with the Janes for hours after you had left with the daguerreotypes. They had hit a brick wall and Teresa was obviously worn out from travel and working on the weekend, so Marcus had called it a night. Work could continue tomorrow. "I just want to go home, shower and be lazy."

“Then that’s what we’ll do.” Ringing your arms around him, you let him sag against you just to feel the support of someone else being there for him. It’s clear he had a rougher day than you did, and you can completely understand why. “Your place or mine?”

“Would I be completely selfish if I asked to go to my place?” He asks softly. He wants you to see it, to see you there. “We don’t have to, but I will need to get my car.”

“Of course we can go to your place.” You prop your chin on his chest to look up at him and offer him a quiet smile. It’s not a stretch to imagine that he bought a big family-ready house when he got here and is now just puttering around it making little improvements until he has someone to share it with. It nearly brings tears to your eyes to think you could actually get to be that person again. “If you want to give me your address I’ll just stop over at my apartment to grab some clothes for tomorrow and meet you there?”

“Okay.” He snorts and shakes his head. “Maybe we should exchange numbers. Since we didn’t get around to it yesterday.” He jokes with a smirk.

“We got a little…swept up in things.” And you aren’t sorry about it for one single second, but you do take your phone out of your pocket to hand to him.

Marcus hums, smirking at your trusting him with your phone as he opens the messages and sends himself one. Unable to stop himself from messing with you.

To: 202-867-5309: ‘Hey baby, it’s me. I cannot tell you how GREAT last night was. Easily the best I’ve ever had.’

He hits send and pulls out his phone when it dings and grins. “Awwww, thanks babe.” He jokes with a wink as he hands the phone back to you and starts sending you his address.

"What...?" You look down at your phone, seeing the text he sent himself, and burst out in a fit of giggles. "It was, though." You have to admit that. "Definitely top five. I'm not really sure anything can top our wedding night, though."

“That was a good night.” Marcus smirks and shakes his head. “Although I’m not twenty anymore and I don’t know if I can move that way.”

“We were young and very limber.” And as energetic as you had both been that night in the hotel room after leaving the backyard wedding his parents had hosted, it had all been lovemaking. Every second of intimacy is infused with the promise of a lifetime of support and affection.

“I knew you’d have a house,” you grin at seeing his address pop up in your phone screen. “You were never an apartment guy even when that was all we could afford.”

Marcus pout. “I had a condo in Austin, I’ll have you know.” He tells you dramatically before he shuffles slightly. “I, uh— I bought it when I thought—” He breaks off and sighs. “When I thought Teresa was following me out here. Because at the time, housing was insane - so I jumped on it.”

“And I’m sure it will be perfect for whatever life brings next.” As determined as you are for that to include you, Marcus is in charge of his own life. And until you are able to sit down and have a real conversation about the future, you aren’t going to suppose anything at all.

Part of him wants to jump the gun, to open his mouth and make plans with you. But he had driven you away with that so he just hums. “I’ve got to get an Uber home. Unless….” He gives you a small smile. “You wanna give a guy a ride home?”

“Come on.” The smile on your face softens, spreading into a wide grin as you offer him your hand. “We’ll stop by my place on the way to yours.” The note of hope in your voice is unmistakable, but you don’t even mind. “Maybe I’ll pack a couple of clean things? If you want me to stay more than one night, I mean…”

Marcus takes your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and squeezes it gently. “That will be good. Makes sense so we don't have to get up early if we don’t have to.” He’s not going to push, but if you’re offering, he’s going to take whatever you give him.

“So…” you glance up at him as the two of you walk out of your building together, out to the parking lot where your Mini waits. “Teresa seems nice. When she’s away from Patrick, anyway.”

“Teresa is…independent.” Marcus concedes. “And unfortunately, played her cards close to her chest. I had a thought that Jane might be an issue - especially when he showed up at her house one night and seemed surprised I was there, but I shook it off as being ridiculous.”

“Ever the optimist.” You can’t fault him for it. Not really. His ability to see the silver line in anything is one of the things you always loved about him.

“Yeah.” Sometimes that optimism seems like a curse and he shakes his head. He had taken his shot and had been honest - to a point - and it just hadn’t worked out.

“So what do you want to do about dinner?” There is something - a doubt - in his voice that you don’t like, so you change the subject quickly.

“I have some stuff at the house or we can order something.” Marcus tells you, wondering if he shouldn’t just take you out like he promised. “If you want to go out, we can.” It’s something he does, sacrificing his own wants for someone else, and it’s just natural at this point.

“No, baby. You wanted to stay in.” You’re not going to take his comfort from him, that would be a shitty thing to do. “We worked all day. Let’s have something delivered when we get to your place. Chinese? Pizza?”

“Whatever you want. I honestly don’t have any preference.” He just wants a shower and a comfortable pair of sweats to lounge in.

“Chinese, then?” An order of kung pao chicken and lo mein were always his go to when class or work has been particularly hard, and you squeeze his hand gently. “I’ll even share my crab rangoon.”

“What did I do to deserve that?” You were horribly possessive over the creamy wontons. To the point you had smacked his hand the last time he tried to steal one and really got mad at him.

“I have grown as a person,” you tease, sighing slightly as you step outside and the crisp fall air hits your senses. If you’re ever lucky enough to stand up with him again - like that wonderfully vivid dream you had last night - you’ll even put it in your vows if it proves to him that you’ve changed. “I love you more than crab rangoon, Marcus Pike.”

He can’t help but bark out a laugh, tossing his head back and making it a full belly laugh. Enjoying the ease of the moment and the spontaneously funny comment. “That proves it.” He promises as he tugs you closer with your joined hand and cups your cheek. “You love me more than crab rangoon, huh?”

“Yeah.” In the chilly air he radiates heat, and you let yourself be reeled in against him without hesitation. “I absolutely do.”

“I’m gonna need that in writing.” He teases. “For when you are looking to stab me with a chopstick.”

“When we get home I’ll write it out and you can hang the framed note in the living room as proof.” You love him more than anything and it has taken walking away to realize that. But the sidewalk outside your office isn’t the place for that discussion.

“Bribery.” Marcus jokes, not mentioning that you are calling it home, like it’s where you two live together. He swallows down the butterflies in his stomach, knowing it could just be a turn of speech. It doesn’t mean anything.

“Evidence.” Leaning in to press your lips to his, you let the kiss linger for a few seconds before pulling away. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Marcus dutifully follows you to your car and climbs in after opening your door for you again. He groans slightly as he closes the door and starts to put his seatbelt on. "Your house and then mine." He sighs, exhausted from the day and the mental fortitude it took to deal with Jane. He honestly doesn't see how Teresa did it every day.

t doesn’t take long - under an hour - to get everything accomplished, and Marcus orders your dinner from DoorDash on the drive between your places so that by the time you pull up in front of his white-picket-fence-American-dream picturesque house in The Palisades, all you have to do for the rest of the night is relax.

The house is adorable: classic Victorian with fresh white paint with blue shutters in the windows and a little front lawn, with the whole property fenced in in a way that says the last owners definitely had a dog. It’s exactly the kind of place you can see him happily raising his kids and doing yard work on the weekends, even tossing a tennis ball or frisbee for the pup. It’s classic Americana - and classic Marcus.

Marcus fidgets slightly, aware that you are judging. Perhaps not in any negative kind of way, but he had explicitly told you what kind of home he wanted when the two of you were dreaming as teenagers, the kids you had been. This was it, and he feels surprisingly vulnerable. His car is in the garage and he gives a careless shrug. “This is it.”

You reach for his hand once you’re out of the car, offering him a smile. “I love it,” you promise him.

He gives you a small smile and walks up to the door, rolling his eyes when he sees the mailbox stuff full. “Gone one night.” He huffs, letting go of your hand to unlock the door and grab the mail.

“All the best junk mail that Washington DC has to offer.” Inside, you follow Marcus as he deposits your bag and the mail on a side table in the hallway, then into the kitchen to grab drinks and chopsticks before dinner arrives. Take out in front of a movie would have been a classic Saturday night for the two of you years ago, and it’s a comforting ritual to return to.

Marcus sets everything out and kicks off his shoes. “I guess a tour is in order?” He offers.

“You have a little bit more to show than I did,” you joke, trying to lighten the load that the day has left on his shoulders.

“You know me, too many plans.” He smiles weakly and rubs his hands together. “It’s got a basement, but I’m sure you don’t want to go down there.”

“Show me everything.” In the most hopeful and optimistic part of your mind, you are already wondering what it would feel like to come home to this house. To drop your keys and purse on that side table and be greeted by those kids or that dog he always dreamed of. “Even the scary basement. I-I want to see it all.”

“Okay.” He gestures around the kitchen. “This is the kitchen, it was renovated, but I want to add an outdoor kitchen for when the weather is nice.” He admits. “It looks out over the backyard, so it’ll be like an extension of the kitchen itself.”

“The fact that you even have a backyard in D.C. is impressive.” Visions of the backyard barbecues his parents used to throw, dance through your mind and you grin. “Taking a page out of your dad’s book, huh?”

“I guess.” He can’t help but smirk slightly. “He did teach me to use a grill.”

“The perfect way to celebrate good weather is with a cookout. You know I believe that.” God that smile. With his dimple on display he really does look every bit as boyish as the night you met.

“Yeah, I remember that shitty little charcoal grill we had on the balcony of our apartment.” It’s the first time he’s mentioned living together and he hums slightly. “The entire apartment would smell like burgers.” They had been broke and couldn’t afford steak or much else, but it had been fun.

“I bet you never had a housewarming party. Even after you made friends at work.” Your free hand sits comfortably on his waist and you hug him ever so gently. “A backyard burger party before it gets too cold would be killer.” The grin that graces your lips along with the idea is just a touch devious, though. “I’ll make all the cheesecake you could possibly want.”

“It’s a nice thought.” Marcus muses, imagining a get together over here without the pressures of work or anything hounding them. He takes care of the team by taking them out regularly, but that would be strictly social.

“So.” You nudge him a little and smile again. A little wider this time. “Kitchen and backyard. What’s next?”

“The basement is in here.” He motions to the door that leads down. “Through here. It’s a good size. Perfect for storage.” It’s strange to be giving you this tour but he opens the door and flips on the light.

You're halfway down the stairs when Marcus's phone rings - the unknown number on his caller ID letting you know that your dinner has arrived. "Saved by the bell." you joke, knowing that he fully understands your tendency to be creeped out by smaller, dark spaces. Besides, there's something off right now - something making him uncomfortable - and you're fairly certain it's you. So maybe just having dinner is better.

Marcus chuckles as the two of you turn around and go back upstairs. He knows why he’s slightly unnerved. Seeing three of his ex’s in a room would make any man start to think. And Marcus tends to overthink. You’ve run out on him once, crushing his heart when you insisted on a divorce. Now you’re back, looking at him like you did so many years ago. Seeing Teresa made him remember that feeling when she stayed in Texas, chose another man, it wasn’t even half as bad as you walking out of his life. He honestly doesn’t know if he can risk this again.

Beating Marcus to the front door means you pay the teenager delivering your food, and flash a grin at him as you close the door behind you with the stuffed-full bag of Chinese in your arms. Straight into the living room is where both of you go, plopping down on his comfortable sofa to hand out containers. The thin sheet of cardboard between containers catches your eye, and you pop up quickly to retrieve a marker from your purse - scrawling "I love you more than crab rangoon and will always share my favorite things with you" on the cardboard before coming back to set it in front of Marcus at the coffee table.

Marcus stares at the cardboard for a moment, grinning and huffing at the written declaration. “Cute.” He wrinkles his nose at you and there is a moment where he wants to kiss you, as he steals your crab rangoon. Just to see if you will let him get by with it. But that doubt stops him. “I’m gonna shower before we eat if, that’s okay.” He murmurs, standing up. “Drinks in the fridge, make yourself comfortable, okay?”

"Sure." The complete change in his demeanor from last night to tonight is borderline crushing, but you bite back the disappointment in your reaction and just smile. You don't deserve a second chance. Deep down, you know that. But it was so close last night that you could taste it, and feel it, and there's nothing you can do now but admit how desperately you want it.

Marcus chastises himself as he makes his way upstairs. It doesn’t dawn on him that he grabbed your bag until he is setting it down on his bed. Sighing softly, he looks at the mirror over the dresser. “Just fucking relax.” He tells himself.

Waiting for him to finish is almost interminable, and it's not like Marcus takes extra-long showers or anything. It's just the pure torture of waiting for him to come back and probably tell you that this was all an awful mistake and that you need to leave. Anticipating rejection is like having a knife poised in your gut and just waiting for the twist, but you're not walking out of his life this time without a fight. He would have to look you in the eye and tell you that he felt absolutely nothing for you to get you to even falter.

He feels a lot better after the shower. It’s amazing to him what hot water and clean skin can do for his attitude. Dressing in comfortable grey sweats and an FBI t-shirt, he’s more relaxed as he comes downstairs. Frowning slightly when he sees that you haven’t started digging into the food. “You didn’t find something you wanted to drink?” He asks, sure that there were still a few cans of soda in his admittedly empty fridge.

“I wanted to wait for you.” You tell him honestly, getting up when he appears at the bottom of the stairs. “I…think we should talk while we eat.”

That’s not good. Marcus nods and decides to put it off for just a second longer before you tell him that it was a mistake. “Let me get a drink.” He manages before he walks into the kitchen, that knot of doubt squeezing his guts like a fist.

He comes back a second later with two cans of ginger ale and sets them down, which gives you just enough time to take a deep breath before smiling as reassuringly as you can. “I’m not…really sure how to do this,” you admit, hating how uncertain you sound as you try to set your thoughts in order. When he sits down next to you, you scoot a little closer, afraid of being rejected if you reach for his hand but needing to be next to him. “So I’m just going to put it all out there on the table.” You can do this. Just tell him how you feel. “I love you. I never stopped, honestly. And I know that I’m not exactly in a position to ask for anything, but after seeing you again and especially after last night, I can’t imagine a single version of the rest of my life that doesn’t include you. So I’m asking. I’m asking you to take me back and give me a second chance if you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Walking out was the worst decision I ever made and I will do everything in my power to make it up to you.”

Marcus swallows harshly and his heart leaps up into his throat. They are words he’s wanted to hear for years. Since the day you told him you wanted a divorce. That loving him wasn’t enough. He reaches for your hand, taking it gently. “I- I’ve waited for so long to hear those words.” He admits quietly, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand. “But—”

“But.” You nod your head slowly, trying not to grip his hand too tightly, waiting for the words to come. For him to say no and tell you that it’s too late and you hurt him too badly. The words you absolutely deserve.

“But part of me wonders if you’ll do it again.” Marcus’s words are quiet, strained. “Because I plan too much or want too much or say the wrong thing and you decide that you don’t want to do it anymore.” He licks his lips. “Today I had three women in the same room who dumped me. And only one of them really shattered my heart.”

“You have every right to doubt me.” Goodness knows you would, if you were in his position. “But I want to make plans with you. All the big plans and little plans you’ve ever had, I’m ready for them.” When you do squeeze his hand, you can’t help but look at the place your wedding rings used to sit, wanting to have them back again. To have his trust again. “I know you want to be married with kids and a beautiful domestic life and I know that I’m the one who put that on hold last time.” Two fingers under his chin tip his eyes up to yours. “My birth control is in the bag I packed. I will throw it in the trash right now.”

Marcus’s eyes widen and he quickly shakes his head. “No.” He rushes out. “I don’t want— I mean I want that but—” he reaches for your other hand and gently pulls it down from his face. “I don’t want having a baby with me or throwing birth control away to be a means of proving anything to me.” He tells you. “I just got a little in my head today.”

“Anybody would have.” The fact that he didn’t say yes to the grand gesture gives you an oddly disappointed feeling in your gut but you push it away. You’ve wanted kids for years now - and your mind’s eye has always unhelpfully made them look a bit like Marcus in your daydreams - so it shouldn’t surprise you. “I’m just…I’m not very good at this.” He was always the articulate one, and you half-laugh in spite of yourself. “Last night you said it was always me for you. Well…it’s always been you for me, too. When I managed to pull my head out of my ass long enough to think, I realized that the world is a damp shade of gray without you in my life. But I figured you would have found someone else already and moved on. So I never let myself look you up.”

“I’m sorry.” Marcus is good at apologizing, and he means it right now. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was just- using you for last night. I had hoped to spend the entire day with you. Much differently than we did.” He huffs, flashing you a smile. “I just don’t know if I could handle it if I lost you again.”

“I don’t feel like you used me. I think we just got interrupted, and this conversation would have happened this afternoon instead of tonight.” If anything, your relief at seeing him walk into your office tonight was proof that it was him and not just the sex that you craved. “How or if this happens is entirely up to you. Whether that’s lightning fast or slower than a sloth, or even— even if you decide that you can’t forgive me. But…” You want to kiss him - lips or cheek or hands - anything. But you don’t want to make him feel pressured. “I’m all in. If you decide you want to give us another chance, I’m all in. Communication, planning, big dreams, all of it. I just— I love you so much. And I want to give you everything.”

Marcus swallows, looking into your eyes and he swears that he falls more in love with you. Hearing the words that he needs, he leans in, pressing his lips to yours. “I love you.” He promises. “I didn’t - I want this.”

“I know you didn’t.” And you’ll live with that guilt - shame - for the rest of your life. But at least maybe you can fix some of the mistakes you made when you broke his heart. “I will never stop being sorry for what I did, I hope you know that.”

“I just never understood why you insisted we had to divorce.” He admits quietly, needing to talk about the things he hadn’t brought up at the time back then in an effort to be as accommodating as possible.

“It took me years to figure out why I thought like I did.” And when you had that breakthrough, it came along with a personal hatred and depression that lasted for multiple years. Ruining your life over something so obviously flawed was the worst life decision you ever made. The tears in your eyes at this point are pure shame. “I really thought that the options were family or career. That there was no way to do both. And saying it out loud is just…it’s the stupidest I’ve ever felt. If anything, you deserve to be with someone smarter than me.”

Marcus snorts and shakes his head, thinking that’s the most ridiculous thing you could have said. “Baby, you are the smartest person I know.” He promises you, cupping your cheek. “I was the one struggling in school, remember?” He hadn’t been a horrible student. It had just taken more work on his part. “I just wish you had talked to me about it. I would have never made you choose one or the other.”

“I should have talked to you.” You sniffle, very aware of that now-obvious fact. “When my parents got married, my mom gave up her full-time job to work a couple of days a week for barely above minimum wage, and then gave that up to have me and Leah. I had sorority sisters telling me how lucky I was that you were so smart and charismatic because it meant you were going to get a great job and I could stop torturing myself figuring out a career. And my two friends from home who got pregnant young and had to quit their jobs to take care of their kids.” It had felt hopeless at the time. Like drowning without a clue as to how to swim. “I…I didn’t want to disappoint you by loving my job too much or by being a bad mother. And I just…panicked.”

“You would have never disappointed me. And I don’t think you would have been a bad mother.” Marcus reaches out and caresses your cheek. “Baby if you had told me that you decided you didn’t want kids, I wouldn’t have forced you to. I would have needed time to get used to the idea. But I never wanted a forced family. Who knows?” He shoots you a small grin. “I might be shooting blanks from that time you kneed me in the nuts.”

“I was very drunk and slipped on my Halloween costume. It wasn't my fault!” You protest immediately, breaking into giggles at the memory of that night. You’d sobered up fast and had babied him for days in apology. “I was scared of what growing up and having a future meant, honey.” Leaning into his touch is safe. It’s comforting. It’s home. “I didn’t find out until it was too late that I didn’t want a future that didn’t include you.” The explanation feels like far too little too late, and extraordinarily dumb to boot, but he deserves the truth. No matter how awful it makes you feel. “By the time I got around to figuring out that I really do want to be a mother, I had lost the guy whose kids I wanted to have. And it was my own fault.”

“And I don’t want you to think that I can’t compromise.” He wishes you had this conversation twelve years ago. Maybe it wouldn’t have been this way. Maybe it would have been the house you bought together and there would already be kids. But he doesn’t want to dwell on that. “Why don’t we eat, hmm?” He asks. “We can still talk, we should talk.”

“Yeah.” You nod, feeling like an idiot no matter how reassuring he is. But the container of crab rangoon sits squarely in between you and you have no intention of moving it. “I don’t know what would have happened if we had talked then, but I know you have nothing to apologize for.”

“I don’t want you to continuously apologize either.” Marcus grins and reaches for the container. “Honestly, maybe some couples counseling? If you want and feel like it would be good.”

“Absolutely.” You nod. You would agree to almost anything to have him back in your life - but that actually sounds productive regardless. Therapy has done wonders for your life over the years. “Getting some communication tools can only be a good thing.”

“I agree.” He opens the container and smirks at you, feeling better now that he’s expressed what he’s feeling. “Now, what were you saying about sharing the crab rangoon?”

“That you should absolutely have some.” He can have the whole thing if he really wants. Anything as long as it makes him happy. “All the rangoons and dreams you want.”

He shakes his head and picks one up to feed it to you. “Shouldn’t just be my dreams.”

It’s a sweet gesture, intimate without being sexual, and you savor the moment for what it is. “How about we share, then?” Your offer when you finish chewing. “Food. Dreams. All that good stuff?”

“Compromise.” Marcus smiles at you, his eyes soft and full of love. “I like that.” He pops the rest of the rangoon you had taken a bite of into his own mouth.

“Not our strong suit historically, so I think it will be a good place to start.” It’s a fact, and you’re not going to start hiding behind those now after everything. “Should we start big or small?”

“What do you mean?” He asks curiously.

“Like do you want to talk about how many kids we want and what kind of second wedding we’ll have, or do you want to stick to thinking about what kind of nice date we’ll go on when this case is closed?” As far as you’re concerned, the future holds all of those things, so you don’t mind dreaming about all of it.

“I don’t want to rush you.” Marcus protests slightly. “It’s been a long time. Those rose-colored memories might not live up to reality.” He wants to plan with you but he also doesn’t want you to be disappointed by him as the man he’s become without you.

“We can dream a little without having to pin everything down.” That’s something else you were never very good at - taking his random comments about thinking a shirt at the mall was nice as meaning he desperately wanted it or his musings about maybe rearranging the living room in the old apartment as your cue to completely redecorate. “But we can also keep it small until you’re comfortable talking about more long-term things. I mean it, love. I’m all in, if you want me. So we can do this at your pace.”

Marcus snorts, shaking his head. “That’s my line, sweetheart.” He reminds you. He’s always been the one jumping in too fast. Hell, he’d proposed both times without there being any thought in his head beyond wanting to be with them forever. The last proposal had been in a hallway at the Austin field office.

“I know.” Your head bobbles a little as you reach for one of the creamy fried wontons in the box between you. “But on top of it being the truth, I also wonder when the last time was that you had a partner that gave you a little romance of your own.”

Marcus is a giver. Always putting others first and taking care of the people around him, wanting them to have everything they could want or need even at the expense of his own desires. Even you had been guilty of taking his immense good nature for granted once in a while. But never again.

His brow wings up and he contemplates the question. “Hell, I don’t even know.” Marcus shrugs slightly. “Never really thought about it.”

"It seems about time that changed, my love." He deserves to be treated as well as he treats everyone else, and you're going to see to it that from now on, he is.

“So on a scale of one to the Addams family, how weird was today?” He asks with a slightly amused smile on his face.

"Don't you dare besmirch the names of Gomez and Morticia Addams by comparing them to Patrick and Teresa Jane," you snicker, shaking your head as the two of you settle in to eat in earnest. "Honestly, Agent Jane isn't so bad. It's her narcissistic husband that I can't stand."

“You noticed that too, huh?” He asks, shaking his head and humming as he picks up another crab rangoon.

"He might as well walk around in a t-shirt that says 'I <3 Myself'." And he would have bought it for himself, too. That's the kicker.

That makes him laugh. “Has to be underneath those suits.” He jokes. “Who wears a vest nowadays? MBA wielding salesman assholes and former con-artists, apparently.”

"No." Your eyes go a little wide and you laugh in disbelief, with your fork stopped halfway to your mouth. "Is he seriously a con man? That makes so much sense."

“Yeah. He grew up in the traveling carnival, or circus scene.” He tells you. “Incredibly observant and used it to claim he was psychic. Until…” Marcus frowns slightly, hating that anyone - even Patrick Jane - went through that kind of pain. “Red John killed his wife and daughter. His first wife, that is. That’s how he came to the FBI - by way of Teresa when she was at the CBI.”

"Red John?" It takes you a second, rolling back through the index of names and random facts in your head, before you tilt your head at him in surprise. "The serial killer? Well shit."

“Patrick Jane killed Red John.” Marcus doesn’t blame him for that. He would have done the same if it had been him.

"Shit." You shiver a little, not out of discomfort with Patrick Jane killing someone, but just at the fact of it. "I guess...remind me not to piss off Jane, then."

He chuckles and reaches out to spear a piece of your broccoli. “Actually I don’t think Patrick would ever kill someone else. Unless something happened to Teresa. Which, as much as I don’t like him, I understand.”

"Well, he just rose from boring and annoying to weirdly interesting but still an asshole in my books, so I guess that's something?" When he holds his container out to you in return you snag a piece of chicken and grin.

“You love General Tso’s but would never order it, always eating mine.” He pretends to pout but he loves this. He’s missed it. “Although I don’t think we ever ate Thai together.”

“It never sounds like the best option but it always looks so good.” He’s smiling - honestly smiling - and it really does ease your tired heart. “Do you want to pick a Thai place for the next time we go out? Or hell, even the next time we order in?”

“We could do that.” Marcus agrees to that readily, liking the idea. “I think we deserve a proper date again, don’t you? You and me going out and having fun together? Would you like that?”

“I’d love that.” Even thinking about it makes your cheeks burn a little and your smile grow. “What else would you want to do that night?”

Marcus hums thoughtfully, aware that you are happy with the idea. "Wellllllll, I am hoping to go home with the most gorgeous woman there. So there's that." He teases playfully, offering you another bite of his chicken.

“Oh yeah?” The giddy flip in your stomach comes with a hum, and you accept the bite happily. “I mean, if she is who I think she is, I can guarantee it.”

"Yeah? You can guarantee that?" There had always been a lot of fun teasing and jokes between the two of you. The relationship had been, in his mind - magical, until the day it wasn't. "I hope so." He goes on. "I remember the first time I met her, I swear I fell in love then."

“You fell in love with cheap tequila and a tight t-shirt?” Just because you remember every second of that night doesn’t mean you don’t love to hear Marcus reminisce, and take a sip from your soda can to hide a happy sigh. “I bet she fell in love right then, too.”

"I fell in love with a gorgeous pair of eyes and the most beautiful laugh I've ever heard." He leans in to kiss you softly before he winks at you. "Didn't hurt that she was hot enough that I shared the good booze with her."

“There were a lot of body shots that night.” You practically snort at how very stereotypical that part of the night was - flirting in his room at the frat house and letting yourselves get completely caught up in the delicious feeling of wanting that comes with new love when you’re extremely horny young adults.

"Yes there were." Marcus can't even hide his reaction to that, not that he would. Not from you. But just talking about that night has him hardening. "You really liked having the salt licked off your nipples if I remember right."

“I had the hottest guy I’ve ever seen sucking on my tits.” You point out, smirking a little at the memory. “Of course I liked it.”

"I mean, they're great tits." Marcus's grin gets a little wider. "And I was just a horny teenager. A beautiful girl is gonna let me drink tequila off her body and lick her tits, who am I to stop her?"

"I would have rioted if someone tried to stop us." You laugh again, shaking your head as you both beam at each other. "There was no way I wasn't spending the night with you once I realized you were interested."

"And I don't think there were many nights you didn't spend with me after that." Marcus grins as he picks up another piece of chicken. This time for himself.

"I'm just lucky that your brothers liked me," you muse, thinking of the way his frat brothers had basically treated you as a little sister once they saw how inseparable you and Marcus were. "I showed up for one damn party and then never really left."

"They didn't have any issue with you, unless we were having sex." He snickers, remembering all the times the door had been beat on for being too loud.

"Which was a lot." And you would never apologize for that - not even then.

"They didn't give you a stuffed bunny because they thought it was cute." He jokes.

"Aww, really?" You feign innocence, even though you both know that at the time you had cracked up laughing over the fucking like bunnies joke. "And here I thought they just found me adorable."

He snorts, leaning in against you. "They were all surprised that we didn't end up with an accident." He admits.

"My sisters were too." The other girls in your sorority had practically made up a list of baby names at one point. "They even had a baby shower theme picked out."

"I didn't know that." Marcus shakes his head, amused at how certain your college friends were that you were going to have kids and here you are so many years later and none of the happily ever after had happened yet.

"Yeah." You nod your head slightly. "They were going to throw a little garden party. It...it would have been cute." And for every year that has passed, you have wished more and more deeply that there had been a reason for it.

"Well..." Marcus senses the slight disappointment and he sighs. His shoulder jostles yours slightly and he sends you a sweet smile. "When you do have a baby, make sure you invite all of them to the shower."

"When we do, I will." It's a promise that you'll stand by, no matter how long it takes to happen, and you slip your hand in his to squeeze his fingers gently before laying your head on his shoulder. "And it will be a garden party."

"It can be in your own garden." Marcus responds, hoping that by that time you might consider this home. He would landscape the backyard into whatever garden oasis you wanted.

"Only if you like the idea of turning part of the backyard into a garden. We have to both like it." Following his trail of thought, you snuggle a little more deeply into his side and reach for the last crab rangoon to split in half.

"It's big enough that we can have a garden area." He looks over at you with a grin. "Although you know I kill any plants I touch beyond grass." He was not blessed with growing anything it seems and you had teased him when he had killed every plant you brought home.

"Which is why you won't be allowed near my rose bushes." The grin on your face is teasing when you look up at him, but there is so much love in your eyes that it nearly overrides every other emotion. "We can put a little bench or a swing out there to sit together."

"It would be nice." It's a thought that sends a warm flood of contentment through him. "Relax with a glass of wine after work when the weather is nice."

"And an extra place for our friends to sit when we have those backyard barbecues that I know we'll end up throwing once I get you a new grill." It's already become his first gift in your mind - something that you can do for him to make him smile and show him even just a little of that loving care that he gives to everyone else.

Marcus smiles and leans in to steal another kiss. "You don't have to do that." He promises. Just the idea that you would think about buying him a gift makes him feel good.

"I want to." Another stolen kiss lingers, and you both smile into it. "It can be a surprise, or you can pick out your dream grill. But this way every time you use it, you'll have an extra reason to smile."

“I don’t know.” He wrinkles his nose at you playfully. “My dream grill is pretty expensive.” He warns. “Alllll the bells and whistles.”

“Bring it on.” You grin, placing a kiss right on the bridge of his nose. “I make good money and intend to spoil you.”

Marcus shakes his head and smirks. “Oh really?”

“Yes, really.” Years ago, your definition of spoiling him had been largely sex related, and while that isn’t going to change unless he wants it to, it’s definitely going to include more now that you can actually do more to take care of him. “You think I don’t realize how much you scrounged for that little diamond chip in my engagement ring? You deserve every ounce of spoiling I can possibly give you.”

“I always felt guilty that I couldn’t get you something bigger.” He admits. “You deserved to have a gorgeous ring.”

“You could have given me aluminum foil and I still would have worn it proudly.” You tell him honestly. “The ring isn’t what matters, it’s who gives it to you.”

“I know.” He smiles at the thought. “I just wanted to give you the world.”

“And I love you for that.” Your head rests on his shoulder once more, fingers trailing up and down his arm as gently as a breeze. “It’s going to be better this time, Marc. I promise.” I’m going to be better. The silent thought rings loud and clear in your head.

“Just talk to me and we will be good.” Marcus promises. “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to make decisions by yourself.”’

“And I want you to feel like you can dream with me and plan for the future without being afraid that I’ll react poorly.” Since it’s exactly what happened last time, it is bound to be one of the biggest issues in communication. “If I am even bordering on being overwhelmed, I promise I’ll tell you.”

Marcus hums, having learned his lesson with planning too much but he nods. "I'll work on that." He promises, knowing that it will be an issue but he doesn't want it to hinder a relationship with you.

“We’ll work on things together.” Couples counseling will be smart for both of you, but for now you tip your head back and leave a kiss on the sharp line of his jaw.

"Eat the rest of your food." He urges, smirking at the feeling of your lips on his skin again. He needed this. This talk was good for him and hopefully good for you.

“Bossy,” you tease, grinning when he huffs.

"I just call it leadership skills, sweetheart." He teases and sends you a small wink and leering grin. "Or should I stop being bossy? You seemed to like ‘Director Pike' earlier." He hadn't missed the way you had shifted slightly.

“I’m not mad about it.” Marcus being a little older and a lot stronger had always been a bit of a turn on and he knew it. “Bossy can be fun sometimes.”

He smirks and leans back, pointing his chopsticks at you playfully. "You know it, baby." He teases. "Be a good girl and I'll show you some other tricks I've learned."

------ Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @hardc0rehaylz @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan

tCIGtDYE: @missmarmaladeth @afro-hispwriter @rosmarinus @mythrielofsolitude @jxvipike @avaleineandafryingpan @hnt-escape @supernaturalgirl20 @scorpio-marionette @bobafvcker @midnightevermore @dinoflower @pearl-aqua-tears @itsbaehyungbitch @pepperminticedcoffee @anticipayosbot @girlofchaos @speedynana @loveslide @noisynaia @just-here-for-the-moment @goodgriefitsawildworld @curiouskeyboard @iarellanouus @mymistery09-blog @seasonschange-butpeopledont @thenightdreamsballad @pondsofravenclaw @sherlock221b114679797 @pimmyxyone @theredwritingwitch @ghostinhours @timpletance @strawberryjamcheesecake @amb11 @a-little-shade-of-kiki @wildemaven @tuquoquebrute @supernaturalgirl @ellenmunn @iceclaw101 @toxicfrankenstein @catsandgeekyandnerd @missmarmaladeth @theincredibleinkspitter @agiroflee98 @lyonessofnarnia @we-could-have-been @totostits @scorpio-marionette @kikis-writing-world @trappistmonksofthefuture @danichz @88dragon06 @scorpionerd @myrealmofchaos @movievillainess721 @firekissed13 @qseomik @acollectionofcells1 @captain-of-my-game1992 @alician87 @lovesbiggerthanpride @justgonewild @hiyorinatsuki @pinkrosethorne @apocalypticwafflekitten @groovycass @rebel-fanfare @d0cthunder @gooddaykate @purplerain04 @astridflowers @frasmotic @dornish-queen

My Masterlist!

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Marcus Pike #Marcus Pike x reader #Marcus Pike x you #Marcus Pike x female reader #Agent Marcus Pike #ex wife reader #The Mentalist #Mentalist fanfic

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cricket-reader · 1 year ago

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Sabotage

Summary: after a particularly rough mission and some gaslighting, you’re there to help Bucky pick up the pieces.

Warnings: language, Bucky’s negative thoughts, Bucky getting harassed and bullied, Bucky’s conditioning as the Winter Soldier, past abuse/torture, Bucky trying to recover, fluff

Word Count: 1130

Prompt: "Don't lie to me." | Accident | Doubt | Gaslighting

A/N: Day 17 of June of Doom by @juneofdoom

They say accidents happen, it’s what makes us human. And while that does hold true, this wasn’t an accident.

Bucky went on a mission with three SHIELD agents. They split into groups of two and set the rendezvous point. You were monitoring the communication system like usual. Two of the agents must have forgotten that anything and everything they said was being monitored.

“Okay, you remember the plan?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m not an idiot. All I have to do is make sure Barnes takes the downfall.”

“Which will be easy because everyone knows he’s fucked up in the head.”

Hearing those things about your boyfriend makes your blood boil. How dare they? They have some nerve talking about him like that with you on the other end of their conversation. You paused before replying. Maybe they didn’t realise that you could hear everything they were saying. The comm system got an upgrade because everyone realised how dangerous it could be if someone was trapped and couldn’t get their hand up to their comm device.

You sat back. This would all be recorded. After the mission you could send it to Fury and these two idiots would be discharged.

You sat back with a smug look on your face. Karma was a bitch, after all.

When the mission was done, Bucky was confused as he took out his comm and placed it in the box. What went wrong? Everything was going perfectly fine. There was no way things could have gone that wrong.

When the agents began griping about how this was all Bucky’s fault, he had doubts. He didn’t do anything wrong. So, he said exactly that.

The agents stared at him with a palpable anger and hatred. Bucky assumed it was because he somehow messed up the mission. It was really because they loathed Bucky with all their being.

“You probably just can’t fucking remember what you did wrong with that block of Swiss cheese for a brain,” the one had grumbled.

“Yeah, even I saw what you did wrong.” The agent that had been with him the whole time joined in. “You probably just don’t want to get in trouble. Are you going to blame it on the newbies so we get in trouble instead? That’s really shitty of you.”

“But… but I–“

They all sighed. He looked like a kicked puppy, which only brought them joy.

“Listen. I know you are supposedly a good guy now, but I’m not sure if I think that’s true. You just completely ruined the mission, and now you’re trying to blame it on us?”

“Why did they even let you come on missions in the first place?”

And with those words, the seeds of doubt had left. He was still messed up from everything Hydra did to his brain. Maybe they were right. Maybe he did mess up.

He froze.

He knew that you were on the communication system. What did you think of your failure of a boyfriend now? You would probably berate him just like the SHIELD agents. He deserved it.

When he got back, he went straight to his room to shower. He didn’t want to talk to you like he usually did when he got done with missions. You’d probably just remind him of his failures.

Is his brain so messed up that he can’t even remember what he did wrong? After spending an hour in the shower thinking over everything he did, Bucky still couldn’t for the life of him remember what he did. But he had to have done it. Three stable agents cleared for missions that important versus an unstable, brainwashed ex-assassin that somehow also got clearance to go on a mission that important.

Even if he didn’t do anything wrong, the chances of anyone believing him were nil.

“Bucky?”

Shit. It was you. From the sound of it, you were right outside the door. He didn’t want you to come talk to him about how he just messed up a really important mission. He felt like a failure as it was. He didn’t need you rubbing salt into the wound.

He couldn’t hide from you forever, though. Since he was dressed he didn’t have an excuse to hide away any more.

He opened the door to see your concerned face. You smiled at him as if he didn’t just colossally fuck up. “Hey, sweetheart, you okay?”

He frowned. No he wasn’t okay. Of course he wasn’t okay. He truly thought he was getting better. Maybe that was stupid on his part. He was hopeless. Steve should have killed him when he had the chance. Hell, even Tony should have killed him when he had the chance. He’d deserve it.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, honey?” You pulled him to your body, carding your hand gently through his wet hair.

He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve you. He deserved punishment. He messed up the mission. He’d be beaten and put into the chair. Hydra doesn’t tolerate mistakes.

Bucky dropped to the ground as he had been trained to do after missions that went awry. He waited for the kicks and punches but they never came.

“Bucky? Honey, what’s going on? Talk to me, baby. You’re okay, you’re safe. Everything is okay.”

You saw him hyperventilating, clearly in a different mental space. If you had less resolve, you would have marched back to those three agents to kick their asses. How dare they put Bucky in a state like this!

You knelt down on the ground in front of him. A few minutes passed before Bucky’s eyes met yours. They were red and tears were begging to be released.

“It’s okay, Buck. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Don’t lie to me.” His voice sounded so heartbreaking. He truly thought that he was at fault for what had happened.

“I’m not lying, Bucky. Those agents tricked you, they gaslighted you into thinking that you messed up when in all reality, they purposely sabotaged the mission just to hurt you. None of it was your fault.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I heard everything they said. It’s all recorded. They were stupid enough to discuss the plan whilst they had their comms in.”

“So… I didn’t ruin everything?”

“No, Bucky, of course not. You’re a good man and you’re getting better every day. Don’t let those stupid agents get to you. You are doing so good, okay?”

His shoulders relaxed from their hunched position as if the weight of the world had been released from his shoulders. “Can you… can you maybe hold me for a bit?”

You smiled at him. He was still working on asking for things that he needed and wanted. You were so proud of his progress. “Of course, baby.”

Bucky Taglist: @harleycao @hallecarey1

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ivryne · 2 years ago

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# A DETECTIVE’S GUIDE ON GETTING A GF 💐

genshin smau | heizou x f!reader

synopsis — a detective’s guide on getting a gf !

step 01: get to know her

step 02: ask for her number

step 03: don’t get the wrong number

step 04: don’t mess up step two and end up with her best friend’s number.

— or in which Heizou ends up with his crush’s best friends number instead of hers and now he has to deal with the embarrassment. ( Did anyone forgot to mention that his crush’s best friend is also one of his favorite content creator?? )

pairings — heizou x fem!reader

warnings — misunderstandings, slow burn, denial, mentions of family issues, toxic parents, toxic ex, stalking (not heizou), timestamps don’t matter just ignore them

genre — romance, crack, slice of life, fake dating, idiots in love, slight enemies to lovers (sorta), modern college au! ( age 19-20 )

status — will start once i finish my scara smau

NOW SCANNING DEVICE . . .

featuring . . . nepo babies + yoi | teletubbies comeback

LOADING . . .

act i — oops my mistake

01. bitch who tf?

02. out of all ppl???

03. this hurts more than my mom’s sandal

04. screaming, crying

act ii — worthwhile

tba

act iii — take a chance on me

tba

COMPLETE !

NOTE. heyo I'm back w another au bc I have no self restraint or whatsoever. Hope u enjoy this one!! yn is mentioned to be from Inazuma but there r no mention of specific ethnicity.

(📓) means there r gonna be written parts!

taglist — OPEN! comment or send an ask to be added inside! <33 @exhaustedcommunist @raideneiari @cofijelli @richxelle @samyayaya @jan-penakulu

do not repost, share, or copy! Reblogs and likes very much appreciated!! Thank you for taking your time to read this! Hope you enjoy ^^

©️ 𝐬𝐡𝐫𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫.

#genshin x reader #genshin smau #genshin impact #genshin headcanons #heizou x reader #heizou shikanoin x reader #heizou #shikanoin heizou #heizou imagines #genshin heizou

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nrdmssgs · 1 year ago

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500 demons celebration

Yeah, I haven't forgotten) So the rules are simple: you choose prompt\s, send me a request with a character\s (feel free to choose any CoD character, we might as well try writing for those, who are not yet in my masterlist. And feel free to request for your OCs, this is a celebration of YOU GUYS. Zhar is also on the table, if you need her for any reason).

Many prompts per request are ok, many characters per request are ok. We have 30 nice ones and 20 naughties (1 for each 10 of you). Just please specificity pairing. If you write "Soap and Ghost and #20" - I wont understand if you want them as a pair or each of them to go through the scenario with a reader. "SoapxGhost" or "Soapxreader" would free us from such problems.

"I don't know, how to dance..." \\ "It's never too late to learn."

"You deserve the best."

"Wait, is this...? \\ "It's the (thing) you wanted the other day!"

"Trust me."

"You've always felt like home."

"Nothing is wrong with you."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I've waited for this moment for a long time."

"How mad would it be if I kissed you?"

"Shut up before I kiss you."

"I didn't know, you could sing\play!"

"After everything we've been through, you still don't think, that I love you?"

"You are worth it."

"Don't be scared, I'm right here."

"You are the only one, I wanna wake up next to."

"They're such an idiot. My idiot, but still."

"This isn't adrenaline, I want to spend my life with you."

"Can we stay like this forever?"

"Please just kiss me already!"

"Are you flirting with me?" \\ "You finally noticed?"

"Am I your lockscreen?" \\ "You weren't supposed to see that."

"I want an answer, goddammit!"

"Tell me again."

"I can't keep kissing strangers and pretend, they are you."

"You make me want things, I can't have."

"It's not morning yet."

"How am I supposed to spoil you, when you won't accept my gifts?"

"Can you picture it? Us? Together?"

"Come over here and make me."

"I like the way, your hand fits in mine."

"Watch me."

"You have no idea, how much I want you right now."

"Could he make you feel as good as I do?"

"Are you trying to turn me on, or are you really just that oblivious?"

"You know, I could always get you off right here, right now."

"I can be good, so good! I swear!"

"Does it make you nervous, when I stare?"

"I cant-please- I can't-"

"Just relax for me, I'll make it feel good."

"I said I'd take care of you, did you think I wouldn't follow through on that?"

"You know I'm holding back from fucking you over this kitchen counter, don't push your luck."

"I don't like being told what to do unless I'm naked."

"I can't help it, you're fun to mess with."

"Would you like me to whisper it in your ear?"

"First one to make any noise loses."

"I'm that close to fucking you, like your ex is living in the apartment downstairs."

"You look like someone, who likes a gentleman who knows when not to be gentle."

"I love how fucking wet you get just from the sound of my voice."

"You know, what I thought about the other day at work? Neck kisses, while I'm inside of you."

"I can't stop myself. You're so pretty. Fuck, you're so pretty. My pretty girl."

#nrdmssgs #nrdspeaks #cod modern warfare

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sparkles-oflight · 1 year ago

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Conspiracy theories (Alternative ending)

Idk who read this fic but here's the alternative cutesie version of it :)

(I really didn't want this "prompt" to go to waste)

Disclaimer: Please think of these as characters and not the actual people. I don't encourage anyone to send this to any of the actual JO members nor do I encourage people to force any type of relationship between anyone.

As the tall and slim man Jan messed around with his guitar, he thought about his little kitten back at home.

It has been now two months since they arrived to London and Jan couldn't wait for the opportunity to go back to his beloved pet. He knew his family would take good care of him, but, to him, Igor was like a son and he could not not think about him.

- How are you feeling, man? - another tall man showed up to his room and sat next to him. Jan couldn't help but look at the man who placed his hand on his shoulder...Jan wanted to analyze each of his tattoos and intertwined his fingers in this man's.

He didn't reply though. He just shrugged.

- Thinking about Igor again? - and once more, Jan just shrugged - Look, I'm sure he's fine, and if you really want we could always call your home to see how's doing.

- Ah... - Jan stretched his whole body and smiled - I know he's doing great.

Jan let his head rest on Nace's shoulder...then his chest. It was nice hearing his heartbeat. It calmed him down.

- Where are the others? - Jan asked curiously.

- Grocery shopping.

- Really? How come you didn't go?

- Kris is trying to make them more organized and helpful and that they "need to stop relying" on me.

- Fair.

Jan rested there for a while longer...but he felt as if Nace's heartbeat was accelerating.

- What are you thinking about? - the guitar player looked up at him

- Olie. - Jan could tell that was a lie.

Truth be told, Jan could guess what it was...Nace had told him a couple of times that he hadn't been so close with someone since he was with his ex.

It's one thing when they are on stage and they try to please the fans with conspiracy theories. It's another thing entirely when the two of them are alone...who are they trying to please?

Maybe it's themselves. That's what Jan believed in.

- Can I ask you something? - Nace lifted the guitarist's chin to look him in the eyes.

But as they looked, neither said anything. Instead, they only looked at each other's eyes. Maybe hungry...? But for each other?

Nace was trying to find something there...a support. Jan was thinking about their first meeting...

It took him a while to accept him into the group but during Eurovision things between them got so much better...and that's how this situation came to be.

Jan really really wanted something with Nace... and maybe, right now it's time to take another step forward.

Jan got closer... close enough so that their lips touched.

But then he felt hands on his chest...telling him to stop.

- Sorry. - the younger one was at a loss for words.

- Don't be. I... - It seemed like the bass player was just as confused.

- I didn't know you were straight. I really thought -

Before Jan could finish the sentence, Nace also slowly kissed his lips. He looked into his eyes and reached for his hair to kiss the guitarist again, who reciprocated that feeling.

- Why did you assume my sexuality? - the bassist smirked at him.

- I... because I don't know it.

- Is it even important?

Jan smiled at the older one, giving him the heart eyes that are present at all of their concerts. It felt safe to be next to Nace right there - in a different country...away from their families and pets... It was the same sensation he had when he rested his head on Nace's shoulder during Novi val - indescribable.

Nace's big hands on Jan's hands felt so reassuring.

- What are you looking at? - Nace smiled at Jan.

- Nothing...

- "Nothing"? - the older one laughed - It can't be anything! You are smiling like an idiot!

Jan could only smile.

- What? - Nace asked while Jan investigated his hands - What are you laughing at?

- Wait... - Jan was holding in his laughter - What happened to your hands?

Jan touched Nace's palms...they were full of calluses.

- Oh, it was from helping out with the groceries.

- Really? Your skin is very thick though, I wouldn't expect it to get calluses so easily.

- I don't know how I get them so easily either - he paused before smirking at Jan - But you think my skin is thick?

- I don't know. - Jan smiled, grabbing Nace's hands and investigating them with his own fingers - But I do know what is.

- Oh? Tell me more about it.

- I can show you. - Jan's hands found their way to Nace's tights - If you let me.

- Straight forward like that?

- I guarantee you there's nothing straight about it.

Jan didn't need to say that twice because before he realized Nace's lips and tongue were in his. Nace got the memo. After all: why would he hold back? Wasn't that what they wanted? To be with someone who makes them feel complete? That makes them feel comfortable and protected from the world? Perhaps the world is fucking dark, but if they are together, things can become a little less scary....

- So...what are we? - Nace asked.

Jan stopped in his tracks. He was analyzing Nace's tattoed arm carefully until the question arose. He didn't think things through.

- I thought you didn't care about labels.

- No, I asked if sexuality was that important.

Jan looked at him as he pondered what they were.

- I don't know what we are.

- I wasn't convincing enough? - Nace held the guitarist's head and softly smiled at him.

Jan smiled at him... definitely ready for round two, but then...

- Is anyone home? - Jure yelled from the entrance.

♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩

Afternote: I know...it was slightly shorter than the angsty one. I ran out of ideas. (This is like my 5th attempt at uploading this, pls work)

Also, happiness is not real

Polaroid Photos Universe | Recommended next: Sunny Side Of London

#joker out #joker out fanfic #fan fiction #fanfic #famfiction #fan fic #joker out jan #joker out nace #jan peteh #nace jordan #jance

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fountainpenguin · 1 year ago

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Top insp songs for characters? I know you did a 100-song playlist once but I was wondering if you had to narrow to just one song per character, and if any of those had changed over the years :)

Yeah, here are some of my faves :) Some might be familiar if you've been around my blog for long enough, others might be new. "Long post" tag is on this as usual if you need to block that.

This doesn't really match a specific character, but I like the song "Dirty Paws" for FOP 'fics, especially in regards to the war between Fairies and Anti-Fairies from the "Balance of Flour" episode. The song opens with a war between bees and birds because "the sky wasn't big enough for them all." Then it says the birds turned to get help from the wolves, and the wolf queen charges in with her forces and takes down "The queen bee and her men."

I love because it mirrors the way I portray the war in my 'fics, right down to the way that the Pixies get dragged into it despite trying to remain neutral, and I just really like that soft "And that's how the story goes" at the end of the song, as if no outsiders can really understand what truly happened. Not only that, but it even specifies "The story of that beast with those four dirty paws" when the song earlier claimed it was a story "about the birds and the bees." I like the implication that people remember history in different ways and I just think it's a nice inspiration song for the war chapters of my backstory 'fics.

Cosmo - "Bird Song" - Florence + The Machine - /shrug. To me this is a big Cosmo and Juandissimo song. My take on Cosmo's backstory involves a lot of secrets, and I like playing with those deleted lines of dialogue from "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" where Juandissimo tells Remy that he only fears one fairy and it's Cosmo. He also specifically describes Cosmo as "Wanda's warrior husband" and "as a cunning and calculating foe." I wish they would have kept that dialogue, because it's freaking hilarious to imagine Juandissimo cowering in Cosmo's presence skldjf.

FOP lore hints that Cosmo is extremely powerful, but only when he snaps (such as in "Wishology" when he turns himself into Cos-zilla and summons one million wands). However, Fairy World mostly regards him as a bumbling idiot, implying they're not afraid of him as long as nothing sets him off. I like to imagine Juandissimo has seen Cosmo's dark side... and he didn't like it.

In several episodes, Wanda openly flirts with Juandissimo or fawns over him (Wanda poofing Juandissimo into the room so he would swoon over her while she cooked bacon, Wanda blatantly telling Cosmo that she was having a lovely dream about her ex and chocolate), but Cosmo doesn't seem too threatened. He even flat-out says he'd tell Juandissimo to leave Wanda alone and the only reason he doesn't is because he likes eating the gifts he sends her kljsdf. Cosmo also harasses Juandissimo regularly, once even locking him in the freezer, and Juandissimo doesn't seem to want to mess with him. "Bird Song" fits this vibe of "Cosmo has a dark side and no one really takes him seriously except Juandissimo, who witnessed it and has been terrified ever since." Love that.

Wanda - "Mine" - Taylor Swift. It's the quintessential Cosmo and Wanda song for me, right down to "You were in college working part-time waiting tables... left a small town, never looked back!" It's even got a few bumps in the road like "And I remember that fight, 2:30 AM... I ran out crying..." C'mon, this song was made for them.

Poof - "Popular" - Wicked. It's really hard to pick just one for Poof. If I were to pick one single song to describe him as a character, I'd say "Puff the Magic Dragon" because it's about an imaginary dragon whose child grows up and doesn't need him anymore, and that's big Poof vibes.

But for an inspiration song that feels right for my take on him, I'd absolutely throw in "Popular" from Wicked. Every time I hear it, I imagine him singing it to Foop and listing off H.P. and Jorgen as "Celebrated heads of state or especially great communicators! Did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh! They were popular!" while Foop stares into the void listening to this random suburban kid mansplain popularity to a prince, sldkjf.

One of my big inspiration songs for Poof is "Showdown" from the Big Fish musical, but that's incredibly specific to my plot arcs so I was hesitant to list it as a main insp song. Specifically, about 1:35 into the song where the son is challenging his father about the secrets of his past... while the chorus starts singing "You get a trial!" I imagine Cosmo just turning around with slowly dawning horror as the room around him transforms into the Fairy Court room and Poof stands coldly across from him, demanding answers.

All the dialogue that follows, like "You can't undo the things that you'd prefer be undone... You can never change the past, though it may haunt every breath" and "Really, son, I don't know what you think you're trying to prove" works REALLY well for my Cosmo portrayal. We'll get to see more hints of that in 'fics pretty soon, ha ha oh no.

I like to imagine Jorgen filling the role of judge in this song, particularly with Cosmo staring up at him and whispering "Oh, come on, doc... Aww, how long have you and me been friends?" Yeah that's major Cosmo and Jorgen vibes right there.

Sanderson [+ Poof] - The Company Way - How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying - This always gives me major Poof and Sanderson vibes (during the story arc where Poof gets a job at Pixies Inc.)

"But what is your point of view?" "I have no point of view."

"Supposing the company thinks-" "I think so too."

"Uh, what would you say if-?" "I wouldn't say."

slkdjf that's totally Poof and Sandy this arc. One of my other Sanderson favorites is "Loser of the Year" (Simple Plan) which is about a rich guy singing about how there's no point in spending money if you're lonely, which fits my Sanderson portrayal well.

Goldie - "Ex's and Oh's" - Elle King - Ugh, there are so many good ones. I enjoy Goldie drama, nothing more lovely than a poor girl with harm OCD beating herself up over how she might hurt the people she loves but also trying to balance that with the fact that she deserves to be happy and also balancing that with political expectations as the will o' the wisp ambassador :'D

I picked "Ex's and Oh's" because it's hard to get something more fitting for teen Goldie than "Now there's one in California who's been cursing my name 'cuz I found me a better lover in the UK" when she's see-sawing between her attraction for Poof and Foop, wheeze... Oh, Dimmsdale canonically being located in California is cruel. Another of my Goldie favorites is “Good Girls” (5 Seconds of Summer).

Chloe - “A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into” - Be More Chill. This one's just for me... it captures the vibe I envision for her life very well. Chloe does NOT get along with Kevin in show canon, from screaming at him in his debut to outright wishing to take his hall monitor position in "Chloe Rules," but this... this is a middle school / high school Crockermichael ship song when she's starting to come around.

Kevin, even though he's dead inside, is a sweetheart who likes to invent stuff and they have a lot in common, like their tense relationships with their parents and the way that the rest of the town judges them based on who their uncles are [Crocker for Kevin and Dinkleberg for Chloe in my 'verse]. Love that for her.

"Reflection" from Disney's Mulan is also a good one for introspective vibes, though canon Chloe does struggle to calm down enough for that to suit her perfectly, methinks.

Anti-Cosmo - “Anything For You” - Ludo. I could pick several good ones out for A.C. but this is definitely a fave. It fits my 'fic Frayed Knots very well, especially with stuff like "I have crossed a natural plane and communed with the dead" which fits a lot of the nature spirit vibes we'll see later, or "I've picked up rocks from distant moons" which clicks with the Doombringer subplot. I even started an animatic storyboard for this song a few years ago, I know I have those sketches somewhere and I should post them.

I also really like the lines "I've gotten drunk and shot the breeze with kings of far-off lands, they showed me wealth as far as I could see [...] and they cried with jealousy when I leaned in and told them about you." I feel like that captures the relationship between Anti-Cosmo and H.P. REALLY well. H.P. will always toss A.C. a soda and show off Pixie World, but once A.C. gets his happy marriage with Anti-Wanda, that's a heavy blow to the pixie. Their friendship survives it but boy does it sting him.

After "Anything For You," I think I'd have to go for some of my favorite Vocaloids like "I'm Glad That You're Evil Too" and "Bad Apple." Those are big A.C. vibes too.

Also "Rasputin" (Boney M.) and Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" (Tom Lehrer). Those are excellent too.

Anti-Wanda - “Floorfiller” - The A-Teens - This is a peppy party song but it's always had a weird, chilling vibe for me, especially with lines like, "Something's out of order, people in the corners" and "See, the name of the game is to play crowd pleaser!" It just always makes me think of Anti-Wanda, who's my gal who loves to dance and party, who goes out of her way to please crowds, but she'll also mess you up.

This is also the song I used when uploading the 'fic announcement for Part 3 of "This Is Halloween," where Anti-Wanda confronted the Darkness with nothing more than a golden sponge. That was fun.

Foop - "World's Smallest Violin" - AJR - This is one of my favorite Foop songs right now...

"I can't even finish school! Missed my mom and left too soon."

"I think I bored my therapist while playing him my violin."

"I know I'm not there mentally, but you could be the remedy"

"So if I do not find somebody soon, I'll blow up into smithereens... just let me play my violin for you!"

It's a good one for Foop :)

Anti-Marigold - “Does He Love You?” - Rilo Kiley - Yeah, picking one out for Anti-Marigold (Goldie's counterpart) isn't even a question for me. I hate to say it but "Does He Love You?" fits her to a T... It's got perfect lines like "A married man, he visits me" and "I guess it all worked out" and "Your husband will never leave you for me."

I adore the Anti-Marigold arc. It doesn't really hit until the end of the 130 Prompts but... :'D Oooh boy. Storm's coming.

Kevin Crocker - "Aliens Exist" - Blink-182 - This one could also work for Denzel because it's a Crocker song in general, but I love it for Kevin specifically.

Denzel Crocker- "Almost" (Bowling For Soup) - This one always makes me think of Crocker on the decline throughout his teens and young adulthood, just having a hard time and struggling with his life.

H.P. - “Chomp and Munch” - The Brave Little Toaster: Great Animal Rescue - I have a lot of H.P. songs and it's hard to only talk about one, but "Chomp and Munch" is an eternal favorite. It's all about once being in your prime but then slowly falling apart and it's so good. This was also my all-time favorite movie as a kid and I watched it a million times, plus I still can't get through Radio's sacrifice scene without crying, so I love this movie and I love that I get an H.P. song <3

"Chomp and munch, chew and crunch, there's a lot here to destroy! Inch by inch, it's a cinch, bringing down this big old boy..."

Another H.P. favorite is "Grow Up" by Simple Plan because it's about a loud, bratty kid who just wants to live his life and have fun, and if this comes as a shock to you since H.P. belongs to an anti-fun species, you need to look again at his character /lh

"Hanging out with all my friends and never being at home! I'm impolite and I make fun of everyone! I'm immature, but I will stay this way forever. Until the day I die, I promise I won't change!"

Gary - “Egoselfish” - (Vocaloid; Miku-tan's cover is the one I'm familiar with) - Ugh I could roll around flopping on the floor infodumping about Gary forever, I love his crumbling heart. "Egoselfish" will eternally be my go-to Gary song and if you've been following me for long enough then you may have seen me sketch him to it a couple times.

The line "I'm doing this all for you!" followed by the more snarky, question mark'd response "'I'm doing this all for me?' Dare say that about our love, and mister, I'll have to do away with you..." hits so hard. That's major Gary vibes. He builds this very twisted idea in his head that he needs to "save" Betty after the Pixies wipe her memories in the 130 Prompt "Solo", and every time he shows up after that he's layering guilt on himself as a way to cover up the fact that he feels like Betty betrayed him... He wants to "save her" and make things "the way they used to be" and he'll do anything for her.

"Love is what so captivates us, yet this 'love' at time leads to 'loathing...'" / "In the end we're still just fine to keep on smiling all the time!" / "I'm doing this all for me.... Well, doing it both for us... I'm going to hide my face and cry my eyes out..." It's so Gary. So good.

I have a lot of good Gary songs, including "Shut Up and Dance" (Walk the Moon), "Sad Song" (We the Kings") and "Light 'Em Up" (Fall Out Boy). He's just this big, emotionally charged character and he feels things very deeply, he's very fun to play with. But "Egoselfish" will always be #1 Gary song in my heart.

Betty - “He Likes Boys” - Simone Battle - There are other good Betty songs I like for insp, like "Human" (Christina Perri), but "He Likes Boys" is probably my top Betty Mindset song. In canon she makes a point of telling Gary she "doesn't like him like that" and his response is "But I need to be held" and I like to think that Betty liked him for a long time and enjoyed hugs, but then started drawing lines because he wasn't reciprocating her feelings and it started hurting her. She finds herself unable to show him the same closeness that she used to, but she still loves and respects him as a good friend.

"Human" fits present-day 130 Prompts Betty better, but "He Likes Boys" fits the younger Betty in Pink and Gray a lot because she grows up with this innocent little belief that Gary will be Her Forever Partner, but she never actually communicates this to him and so he thinks their relationship is just professional. It's awkward for both of them, but Betty keeps trying to tamp down her feelings and express her love and friendship to him. And that works great! ... until she starts dating Pete and getting ready to move in with him, and then they have to decide to cut ties... yikes.

/whispers loudly Gary is actually aro/ace as all heck but he doesn't know what that means because it's the 90s / early 2000s and also I don't know a song about that. (If you were ever curious, some people think he's dating Talon because Talon has a human disguise and hangs out with Gary, they work on bikes together. Anti-Cosmo thinks Gary's dating Vicky- long story and we'll get to that later. I love Club "Redheads Who Didn't Get Mind-Wiped.")

Anyway those are some I wanted to share today, thanks for asking!

#Long post #FAIRIES!#ridwriting #Dragonfly parents #playlist #130 Prompts #Rebellious golden child #Purple hippie dragonfly #Gary and Betty #Big Crock #Little Crock #Nerdy blue bat son #The bat with the hat #The best bat queen #I'm wasp dad trash #Burnet moth queen

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the-firebird69 · 1 year ago

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Peter Navarro, second ex-Trump aide to be prosecuted for contempt of Congress, faces trial Tuesday | CNN Politics

This is simple s*** this is very clear I wasn't trying to get out was is not even applicable who cares if he claims privilege or not is what the committee said and it's the Senate he can claim privilege up and down the River and the article says he claimed privilege and they weren't paying attention I didn't pay attention back to that either cuz they put it down in The Notebook is Julia noted that he's claiming he doesn't have to cuz he's a president or worked for and they don't care and they told him it does not apply here because of the severity of the crime and it's ridiculous because the presidential privilege to other things does not apply to you messing with the election and yeah I swear all we messed with the election because it was so ruskies is what you have to do and nothing has been mentioned about that at all that's all you can do and then it becomes a mess and you don't believe it but it would what was your involvement with the Russians feel like crap through a goose cuz you're a traitor and so is your boss is Massa here Trump's the fag.

Zues

This person doesn't understand it and he's going to go to court and look like a blueberry idiot. Anything since it's about executive privilege it is worth it too is lawyers do too they're a bunch of boners it has nothing to do with the executive privilege it was declared and it was they were told that it is meaningless by the committee and they announced it and recorded it and moved on with everybody else different you're not and you can bring up the topic and say it protect you but you have to have a reason for using privilege it's just like him using campaign finance money for his defense on cases that are not related to campaigning and he can be brought up in federal charges for that I don't know if you're going to see any correlation I'm telling you because it's annoying s*** he tries it on everything and I catch him on everything and it's threatens with it and says nothing for you or him except gets your stuff taken there's some kind of dupe and he's a dupe and you won't acknowledge it and you're going around scoffline walking the American system telling people off and you don't have any cars it's just ridiculous what do you mean you can be ridiculous of course you can cuz you're running to court screaming that he did say this and they know he said that you look like assholes.

I also want to say this is my husband and me but I started to comment above and I will say I can't stand this guy at all this is what he and his idiots are doing and try to distract people but what it is and they go in and the judge convicts them and sends them to jail and it look like assholes

Hera

This is pretty bad I heard about this too we're hopping in the fact that I evokes presidential privilege and nobody listens is not really what it is I did it and they said it doesn't apply it is because they say so he's right why it's privilege what what are we snotting those kids it looks horrible you have to argue something it's privileged because we can't disclose it that's something but not nothing you can't revisit an argument and have an argument about nothing it sounds like people are choking me out on purpose and getting rid of themselves because they suck and really there's a lot of that with our race and he says no he's just a stupid person and I do get something you are holding off and you're not answering the subpoenas and you thought it was something it's different than it was something and that's probably your defense your defense is I thought we had executive privilege and in the emails you can see that you did and her friend says thinking it doesn't mean anything but it might to the court and he says it probably won't but he's going to go ahead and use it it's like a little kid acted oh I didn't know that and then the adult world that doesn't matter. He went through a red light oh I didn't see it and I still give you a ticket it's amazing how it works here. I see the analogy and I get it and we go through red lights all the time and say it doesn't matter especially bothering him it's the dumbest thing I've ever seen and he says you're getting killed they're putting it right in your head and your brain is coming right out of it so I should probably stop doing stuff like today of all this plans and stuff to bother me I do understand something like this hovering chick and they shoot me for that because it's treason I have to be there he says to intercept but what I'm doing is so damn vile and annoying I have to figure out something I ruined my position it's actually true it doesn't care about my mental status everybody around here suicidal occasionally but there's some things wrong here you being under the impression doesn't make any sense because it doesn't mean anything I know he's arguing the point I invoked it because I thought there's something wrong with the election and it was being tampered with my foreign power and I didn't say that part it says you have to like have people with proof and it's going to lead down a dark path right back to me he says and I think it will and it's probably 10 minutes into nothing at all and that's why I didn't say anything so is this f****** loser saying it for it looks like Gray Davis that could be one thing this baby s*** it's juveniles and parade this in front of the people and it's horrible and there's a lot more of it when that came from

Trump

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trademarkhubris · 5 years ago

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hhh

#edit: cw: depres/sion. implied anxiety. im an idiot mostly but that one doesnt need a warning #overshare time #cw uh idk i'll edit those at the top of the tags when im done i guess #so ive been doing better this year (doing a little less better rn but its ok its just normal this time of the year)#and doing better allowed me to be a creator in several fandoms (a very very small creator but still!!) and thats... thats so cool #its so cool to be able to make things im proud of and share it w others... im so grateful of that #ive had to put a hold on what i consider as this year's main fandom tho #for dumb reasons fjjdndjx #got blocked by someone and took it way worse than i thought #and uh something else that i might overshare too but another time #but thats the point bc every time something is a little challenging i board it up and stop going there entirely #and its dumb bc. the less i confront stuff that stress me the more they stress me so #ugh #im making a mountain out of nothing first of all #and also i keep not sleeping until its at least 3 or 4 am #which does not help wih the seasonal mood dip #(its not seasonal its not bc of the weather its bc of. gosh darn. end of the year and new year and my birthday all in one swoop.#been getting depressed every year abt this bs since i was like 8. not likely to change now i guess 🙄)#also i was an idiot and did send a mess to The Ex and this dude. this dude is not over it. me neither but #this man is ready to be friends again when i was an asshole (a depressed asshole going through the worst two years of their life-#-but an asshole nonetheless)#i wanted to apologise to him #it was a selfish act really #i lost myself there #i think i am a sad and lonely person and i don't really know what to do about either of those situations #okay sorry #sorry #thanks for reading #have this: 🌷

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p-antomime · 4 years ago

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just so fine.

— minors don’t interact

— wc: 4,7K

content + warnings: 18+, including: dilf!toji, manhandle, spitting, daddy kink, choking, unprotected sex, creampie, a bit of school girl!reader maybe, breeding kink, overstimulation, squirting, degradation, age gap, a bit of size kink, thigh riding

pairings: toji fushiguro x fem!reader

— note: this is a bit inspired by: Love Without Tragedy by Rihanna. — jjk masterlist.

Red lipstick and a broken heart trying to be concerted by the petals of your conscience and your friends who said that "he didn't deserve you anyway". And honestly, you didn't know where exactly you were getting the strength from to get out of bed that Monday and go take a shower before heading painfully to your first class in the morning.

He used to be the boy you loved with every cell of your body and soul, he stole the best years of your freshman life at the university, and now you were a senior who had neither the animation nor the patience to welcome the incoming freshmen that year. Despite having Kugisaki and Megumi fervently cheering you on while Itadori was too busy still dealing with the problem of sending documents to the college, your heart was still fatally wounded and your dignity no longer existed as your tears had wiped it off the face of the earth during that morning shower and you couldn't help but be tempted to put on makeup good enough to mask your dark circles under your eyes and downcast face.

"Are you coming today?", Nobara asked excitedly on the other end of the line as you were already leaving the house and taking the long way to college.

— Do I have the option of not going?

"No, of course not.", Nobara replied with a slight laugh that was well intended to cheer you up a bit, "We can have a movie night tonight, to cheer you up."

— At whose house? At mine that won't be, it's a mess. — You grumbled.

"At Megumi's or Itadori's, of course. During lunch I'll buy soda and food with Yuuji and you convince Megumi to let us break into his house today.”

— Why do I have to convince Megumi? You came up with the idea.

"Because I'll be busy, simple. And Fushiguro doesn't take me seriously.", and then you sighed heavily, already noticing that you were less than a block away from entering the college grounds.

— Okay, I see what I can do.

Kugisaki told you that she was waiting for you in the classroom, and you replied that you were already there. And then something distinctive caught your attention. It was strangely easy to spot something different in the landscape of the university entrance because usually it was always the same: university students rushing to settle personal matters or to classes they are late for, or also students who came to see what the college was like before the university application period.

But today was different. There was a tall man fully dressed in black and gray leaning against a motorcycle that looked as if it had been taken from an action movie because it was so well equipped and large. He looked relaxed, and yet he still possessed an aura that could kill you with a single punch. Attractive and devilishly dangerous with that leather jacket highlighting his strong arms and broad shoulders. Forcing your eyes a little, you could notice a scar close to one of the corners of his lips.

— What's the matter, little girl? — His deep voice reaches your ears, but your mind whispers to you that he probably wasn't talking to you at the same time that your heart starts to beat out of control and your head turns from side to side trying to check if there is someone behind you. — Yeah, I'm talking to you. — He smiled sideways.

— Uh... hmm... none, sorry. — Your cheeks started to heat up and you wanted to punch yourself in the stomach because usually a simple man couldn't disconcert you like that, and then your eyes fell on his collarbones, well marked by the black shirt he wore under his jacket, and your mouth suddenly felt too dry.

— What exactly are you apologizing for? — The man asked as he placed one of the helmets on the motorcycle seat, if there were two helmets maybe he brought some college girl? — For eating me with your eyes or staring at me? — And then you choked on your saliva and coughed desperately for air trying not to drop the folders in your hands and he seemed amused by your reaction.

— I-I... — Your fingers squeezed the folders and you had to look away to think straight. — I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I didn't mean to.

— I am not, it's great to be lusted after by younger girls. — He replied, but before he had a chance to continue his onslaught someone approached from the diagonal.

— Dad! — And then you choked again seeing that the one who was referring to the man in front of you as "dad" was Megumi. — Oh, Y/N? — He looked confused looking from you to his own father. — Anyway, they didn't have what you wanted at the pharmacy, next time you'll buy it yourself. — The young Fushiguro spoke to the older man, but seconds later, noticing the mortifying silence that settled over the place as you stared at his father, he spoke up: — And we are almost late already, let’s go, Y/N. — Megumi took one of your arms and started to guide you away from the motorcycle and closer to the interior of the college.

— You never told me you were interested in girls. — His father shouted more to embarrass his son than you, but the effect was the opposite, since you were the one with the burning cheeks.

— Shut up, Toji. — Megumi shouted back as he continued walking. — Did he say shit to you? — He asked you when the two of you were already walking down the halls to your classroom for the first class of the morning.

— Not really, no. He seems... fine. — You tried to talk as if you didn't have dirty thoughts running through your mind especially after remembering the older man's collarbones and scar, and still Megumi gave you an accusing look.

— Don't try to fuck my father, that's disgusting. - Your eyes widened.

— I wasn't thinking that, you idiot. — And then Megumi let out a loud laugh.

— I know, I was just trying to amuse you. — He shrugged and left you standing in front of the door. — See you at lunch?

— Yes, of course. — You answered, and then suddenly remembered Nobara's request on the phone earlier. Your hand held one of his arms so that he wouldn't walk away without listening to you. — Megumi, can we have a movie night at your place tonight? Nobara came up with the idea of doing this to cheer me up a bit. — He seemed to become suddenly tense.

— I'll have to at least let Toji know that there will be people coming home today. — Megumi answered vaguely and shrugged. — I'll send a message to Kugisaki and let her know if it's on or off.

Nodding your head positively, you gave your friend a slight smile, and then for the rest of the day your mind concentrated on paying attention to your classes, your scheduled seminars and the pile of work you still had to do. There was no time for your heart to pound with grief over the loss of your now ex-boyfriend, but there were several minutes when you had to chase away persistent thoughts of Megumi's dad. But looking at him wasn't enough, your hands wanted to explore his body and leave marks everywhere, that's what you thought until you felt ashamed, pushed the thoughts away for a few brief minutes and then thought about it again. In a vicious loop.

When you were having lunch with Itadori, Fushiguro and Kugisaki, your head tried to focus on their conversation as much as possible, but looking at the man with black hair and beautiful eyelashes reminded you of Toji and your hands started to break into a cold sweat. It had been a frustrating, tiring day, but secretly you were a little excited to see your friend's father again.

— Don't take too long, okay? — Nobara spoke after dropping you off and leaning against the hallway wall, and you nodded positively before going to your room to pack a backpack with some pajamas and an outfit in case you and the other two friends ended up falling asleep while you were at Megumi's house.

It didn't take long before you two were ringing the doorbell of the Fushiguro’s house and from the loud sound from inside the house you both could tell Yuuji had already arrived. Suddenly, Y/N felt nervous not knowing who would answer the door. Would it be Toji? "Damn", you thought as you saw exactly him calmly opening the door. This time he wasn't wearing very dark clothes, it was just gray sweatpants and a white v-neck shirt that still highlighted his beautiful collarbones.

— Is that them? — Itadori shouted from another room in the house.

— Yes. — Megumi, who was looking at the two girls standing in the doorway over Toji's shoulder, answered. — You may come in.

Toji moved to the side letting you two into the house and, using the personal excuse of being embarrassed, Y/N walked in with her head down. And partly, in fact, it was true that you were embarrassed, but your mind knew that your eyes wanted to take a good look at the older Fushiguro's thighs and cock. It was impossible not to look at those parts of his body, especially with that kind of pants.

But then Toji gave himself the right to go up the stairs to the upper floor of the house and out of your field of vision when Megumi asked you and Nobara which movie you wanted to watch and she answered that a drama movie. And then the four of you started to watch the movie comfortably, until you started to feel the straps of your own bra start to press painfully against the skin of your shoulders.

— Can I go to the bathroom? — Y/N asked Megumi, who pointed to the steps of the staircase diagonally across from the sofa.

— First door on the left. — You nodded and walked up the stairs carrying your backpack, intending to get rid of your bra and also put on the comfortable pajama top that had been brought.

From the hallway you could hear the low sound of another TV escaping through the gap in a tall door. It was probably Toji's room, such a thought raced through your mind, and you shrugged as you entered the bathroom, leaned against the door, and began to remove your bra and change into your shirt. It was inevitable to sigh in relief as you felt your shoulders less tense and sore and your hands groped your breasts just for the personal pleasure of feeling them free now.

— Hmm, may I come in? — A muffled voice was heard behind the door and instinctively you quickly removed your hands from your breasts.

— Just a minute. — Y/N answered, shoving the previously worn blouse into her backpack and almost running toward the door, slowly opening it.

You looked forward and found yourself facing a bare hard chest as you waited to see a long hallway with four different doors. Toji was now shirtless in front of you and your cheeks burned a little, which got a little worse when your brain short-circuited, your hand rested two fingers against the warm, somewhat soft skin of his chest, and you pulled away slightly so that you could look him in the eye.

— I'm sorry. — Your hand finished opening the door and there was again a sideways smile on Toji's lips

— Are you going to sleep here? — He asked, sliding his gaze over her shoulders, breasts and abdomen freely, without any embarrassment.

— No, actually. I just changed my shirt to be more comfortable.

— Got it. — Toji looked you straight in the eyes again, but yours were already gliding across his face until you found the scar close to his lips.

— How did you get this scar? — You felt the need to prolong the conversation just to get a better record of his face.

— You're pretty curious for someone apparently shy. — He remarked, his eyes sparkling with a gleam that you couldn't quite identify what it was. — When I was younger, we could say I wasn't the friendliest person in the whole world, so I got into a few fights. — Toji shrugged, as if this was not relevant information

How old are you? — A mischievous smile slowly drew on his lips.

— Old enough to be your dad.

"Then maybe I can call you Daddy", was the first thing you thought, but there wasn't enough courage in you to flirt shamelessly, especially with Megumi or the other two able to eavesdrop from downstairs.

— I think I've been here with you long enough. — Y/N answered, putting the backpack on her back and walking past Toji, but just as her feet were about to start down the steps, the older Fushiguro called her out.

— I think you forgot something, little girl. — You turned back in confusion, and in his hands was your bra. Toji threw the piece of clothing toward you through the air without much force to fall gently onto your palms that had opened toward him. — The next time you forget something like that inside my house, I'll keep it for myself. — You frowned, assuming that he was implying that there was possibly something between you and his son.

— Me and Megumi, we don't... — Your shoulders shook without your mouth finishing the sentence.

— I wasn't talking about him exactly, you're very naive, not that that's a problem for me. — He went into the bathroom and eventually you were alone again.

Feeling more embarrassed than the first time you had seen Toji earlier at the university entrance, you joined your friends again in the middle of the movie and were grateful that none of them had bothered to ask if anything had happened in the bathroom because of your delay. Eventually Nobara fell asleep on your shoulder after eating two pieces of the pizza Megumi had asked his father to buy, and Yuuji began to yawn almost pushing the son of the owner of the house off the couch.

— I knew they would both end up sleeping. — Megumi grumbled, pushing Itadori aside and getting up from the sofa. — There are two guest bedrooms upstairs, you and Nobara can use both of them and Yuuji sleeps with me, or one of you can sleep with me and the other and Itadori in the other bedrooms.

— I think it's better that Yuuji better sleep with you. — Y/N replied looking at Kugisaki, who was starting to fall off her shoulder.

And then Fushiguro woke the almost sleeping Itadori to go upstairs while he carried Nobara up the stairs and you accompanied him carrying both your and your friend's backpack. After tidying Kugisaki up in bed and getting Yuuji changed, Megumi spoke to you before leaving you alone in the guest room:

— If you feel hungry, you can go in the kitchen and get something to eat during the night. And, well, you already know where the bathroom is, and so does my room. If anything happens during the night, you can call me or him. — Megumi pointed to the door of Toji's bedroom, and you nodded positively.

And then you laid lazily on the slightly uncomfortable bed in the room and tried to relax. Almost, almost, sleep caught up with you, but your evil brain began to make you think about the fact that Toji was only a few miserable doors away, and the anxiety began to corrupt you rapidly, like a corrosive acid. But even though you wanted to go knock on his door, you forced yourself to sleep, especially since the day had been exhausting.

The next day, just like the rest of the week, Y/N didn't get to see Megumi's dad, and he didn't make much of a point of talking about his father either, after all, why would his friends be interested in him, right? All the other days of the week, her mind focused more on trying not to think about her ex-boyfriend and also not to think about Toji, just college business.... And then came the next Thursday of the successive week.

And there was Toji Fushiguro, leaning against his big motorcycle, but this time with only one helmet and different clothes. Honestly? You didn't know if you should go talk to him or not, if you should just walk right by or not. But, in the end, your mind tricked you into choosing the second option, and your feet awkwardly made their way to the college with your eyes struggling not to check the man's reactions.

— Can I have your number, little girl? — Toji asked in a tone loud enough for you to hear.

— What? — You looked away, wringing your hands nervously.

— I asked if I could have your number. — One of his hands swung his cell phone toward you.

The first thought that crossed your mind was, "What if someone sees us together and tells Megumi?", but honestly, Megumi probably wouldn't be interested in your sex or love life, even if it was with his father.

— Maybe, if you take me for a motorcycle ride today.

— You're wearing a skirt, are you sure you'd want to do that? — Toji suppressed a playful laugh. — You could have a ride somewhere more comfortable than my motorcycle today.

You narrowed your eyes and bit the inside of your cheek, realizing that you were entering dangerous territory in a game of seduction that Toji knew and played better than you.

— Will Megumi be at home?

— He has an internship today. — Toji replied, drumming his fingers on his helmet.

— Wait for me after four o'clock then. — You replied and walked back toward the college as you felt his eyes fixed on your ass.

Throughout the day you felt uncomfortably nervous and Nobara even asked you if everything was okay several times at different times. The only answer your mind formulated was a simple positive head movement, because honestly you felt embarrassed to be interested in a friend's dod, even though this father was extremely attractive and did not reject your shy and restrained advances. He was just so nice, fine.

Fine enough to make you press your thighs together to try to relieve the sexual tension as your legs walked towards the Fushiguro house. And when you got there, it didn't take long to see Toji opening the door wearing only black sweatpants. You went inside and closed the door, nervously watching the older man, who sat comfortably on the sofa in the living room and called out to you with his index finger. As you stopped in front of him, one hand patted his lap and the other was placed on your thigh covered by your skirt. Slowly, Y/N took her seat sitting on his covered cock.

— Why do you look so tense, hm? — Toji asked, squeezing your thigh without too much force and you moved slightly against his hip. — Are you a virgin by any chance? — Your cheeks heated up.

— N-No, you just make me nervous. — Y/N replied, shrugging slightly.

— Do I? — He pretended to be surprised as he slid his hand up her skirt and pushed his fingertips against her covered pussy. — Do I make you get your panties wet too? — Toji pressed his hips against hers and her hands rested on his shoulders for a few brief seconds.

— Fuck, yes. — You groaned, taking your fingers to the buttons of your shirt to undo them. — I've been thinking about you more than I should, I've been thinking about everything about you.

— So, why don't you show me how much you've been thinking about me, huh? — Fushiguro pulled her panties aside and stroked her pussy in slow circular motions while he brought his other hand to her face and pulled her closer to his. — Show me how much you want me and cum on my fingers like the dirty slut I know you can be. — His thumb slowly brushed over your lips and you opened them, your mouth filled by long fingers.

You grabbed his wrist close to your intimacy and guided two of his digits into your interior. And, fuck, they filled you so well. Toji's fingers were thicker and longer than yours, so the times he repeatedly curved them inside your cunt, their tips easily brushed and pressed that spot that made you roll your eyes having your body spasm with pleasure. "What a beautiful vision", the man would be thinking as he watched his beautiful college girl choking on his fingers while being fucked by the others.

However, he didn't move his hand against you much, meaning that he let you choose the pace and intensity, until you whimpered against his neck in a silent request for his fingers to move against you:

— Please, Toji, move your fingers. — Y/N said as she pulled away from Toji's digits that were preventing her from speaking and forced her hips against his hand.

— Can't you cum on your own? — He asked squeezing your chin to make you keep your mouth open. — Pathetic. — Toji spat on your tongue and closed your mouth to force you to swallow. — Pathetic slut. — And then he began to finger you in a relentless rhythm.

If Fushiguro wanted to make you cum in his hand, that's exactly what he got, and he even got a great view of your trembling body, your breasts rising and falling rapidly because of your rapid breathing and your head falling back in an intense pleasure you didn't know your body could achieve. While you were still clouded by ecstasy, his fingers snuck up to finish removing your panties and getting rid of your clothes covering your upper body. He wanted you only in your skirt.

— Look at my pet slut with her beautiful cunt leaking. — His fingers spread the folds of your pussy to see you twitching around just at his obscene words. — Just so nice. — Toji pressed the thumb against your sensitive clit and gave you a smirk before he sat you down on one of his thighs, began to move you there and also slowly stimulated your clit.

His body leaned down and his lips latched onto your breasts, sucking and licking them more intensely as your hips moved faster against his thigh. And occasionally Fushiguro would pull up her skirt and slap her ass hard enough to leave several finger marks across her skin; and it was on one of his slaps that a short, gasping, "Daddy" sneaked out from between your lips and hit Toji's mind as a twinge of intense pleasure coursed through his entire body.

— Say that again. — He ordered, grabbing her neck with the hand that had been slapping her ass before.

— Daddy... — Y/N groaned breathlessly as she continued to move her hips against Toji's thigh in a desperate attempt to cum again.

— Keep calling me that, be a good little whore for me. — His other hand continued to stimulate your clit, now at a more intense pace that managed to push you straight into the abyss of a orgasmic pleasure that you so desperately needed.

After that, Fushiguro held you still in place as he continued to press his fingers against your clit. He definitely wanted to bring you close to the level of almost passing out from so much lust running freely through your body, and so your legs instinctively closed around his hand. At the same time that you desperately needed to breathe because you felt like your lungs were burning from your intense panting, every fiber of your body was still clamoring for the stimulation that only Toji could give you at the moment, so it wasn't hard for him to force your legs open again with a sly smile on his lips:

— Come on, my pretty girl, give me everything you've got. — He made scissor-like movements against her walls and her hips automatically forced themselves against Toji's palm, even though her intimacy was already quite sensitive.

— Daddy, please... please, more, daddy... — Y/N sank her face into the curve of Toji's neck trying to stifle her own moans.

— What a great fuck toy you are. — His fingers curved and you gasped, feeling again that same pressure as before against your bottom that indicated that your third orgasm was approaching. — No matter how much I make you cum you keep asking for more.

And the more he moved his fingers frantically against your pussy, the more you felt your thoughts disappear completely and all that was left was only Toji Fushiguro, and his fingers, and the cocky smile he had no matter what the situation was. Those same fingers that made you squirt for the first time against his abdomen in a third, overwhelming orgasm and your cheeks heat up violently, especially after seeing Toji bring them to his lips looking more than just satisfied with his work with you. Fuck, you could fuck him several times, you could pass out from pleasure, and you still wouldn't ask him to stop or slow down with you.

— Think you can handle one more, pretty girl? — He asked, his hands reaching for his pants and underwear.

— Yes, Daddy. — Y/N tried to speak as firmly as possible with her heavy breathing.

Toji put one hand on your waist and the other on your chin and took the opportunity to pull you in for a kiss as he entered you slowly, which made you lose some focus on the kiss and moan against his mouth as your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders. He didn't let you get too used to the recent intrusion and started thrusting himself against you hard.

After leaving yours, his mouth slid down your neck and shoulders to leave sucking and biting the area before placing the hand that was on your chin on your neck. Eventually yours moans went from simple gasps and sighs to little "Daddy" that made Fushiguro's dick twitch against yours insides several times and grunts escape his lips.

— I will breed you like the desperate little whore that you are. — Toji stroked hard against you while squeezing your neck a little harder. — I bet you're going to love this, aren't you?

— Y-Yes, daddy, breed me, please. — Y/N moved her hips against his while maintaining eye contact with the older man's predatory eyes. — Fill me up completely, until I'm leaking.

Toji squeezed your waist tightly, tilted your body slightly until your hips arched a bit, and started a rhythm of thrusts against you that as a result made your mind go blank and your nails leave scratches on his shoulders. And your fourth orgasm didn't even take long to hit you almost as hard as the third because your whole body had been extremely sensitive for a long time; after fucking that man incessantly you would definitely be addicted to him, to his touch, to his dick, to his lips. Everything about him was addictive.

After making you cum for the fourth time, Fushiguro kept thrusting inside you until his cock forcefully contracted against you and filled you full of cum. By that point you had definitely become just a bunch of holes for him to fuck, and if your body wasn't already so sensitive you might want him to actually fill every possible place in your body with cum. When he withdrew his dick from inside your pussy, Toji pulled your hips up to watch the white liquid escape your entrance and used his fingers to push it into you again.

— Come here. — He patted his chest lightly, and you leaned your sweaty body against his as you lifted your head to look at him. His hands caressed your body and soon you found yourself being carried up the stairs. — I'm going to give you a long shower, and then I'll take you home. — Toji left a gentle kiss against your forehead, and you felt more comfortable than you really should have in his arms.

— Thank you, daddy. — You replied, and he couldn't suppress a satisfied smile.

And maybe from then on you continued to take advantage of the times when Megumi wasn't home or you weren't so busy with college to spend hours together.

#toji fushiguro #toji smut #jjk toji #toji x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen toji #i4nanami #daddy toji #toji supremacy #tw.daddy kink

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blissfulparker · 3 years ago

Text

Driving First class→T.H

Parings: mechanic!tom x reader

Summary: A bitter fight with your now ex has you taking your car instead of a train for a business trip. Although out of your pettiness and anger, your car breaks down and you are left in the middle of nowhere but luckily Tom sees your distress and the man who works on the car is your best rescue. But he works on you other ways both Physically and emotionally

Warnings: Dom!tom, sub!reader, degrading(only slightly), sex on top of a car, squirting, oral, unprotected sex (this is fictional please use protection!), orgasm denial, power struggle, Tom being scared of women for two seconds

Word count: 5.5k

A/n: yeah so idk why I got so horny all the sudden and wrote this. Tbh...I like this version of tom, whatever this is I kinda like it. Let me know what you guys think, if you want to see more or less but I present to you: the first full fic I’ve written in months!(also I know barely anything about cars so I’m sorry if it’s cringy😭)

“Fuck! Shit! Dammit! Fuck! Fuck!” You scream. Hitting your hands against the steering wheel. Such a stupid idea with a stupid end result how could you not expect it?

Taking a car instead of a plane or a train across the country to avoid your ex on a business trip. Thinking you were being more bold and brave, proving you never needed him in the first place when now you sit stranded out in the middle of nowhere with a smoking engine and only hours until sunset and you’re sweating your ass off in a suit. A suit, who the hell wears a suit on a road trip?

Your Phone only having one bar and giving you 20%, you’re doomed. Doomed to be stranded out here and either killed by a maniac or killed by a bear. If London even had bears you would be killed by one. Wanting to cry and scream and maybe a train seat next to your ex who cheated was a better option than crying in your grandpa’s old Chevy that you thought was a better idea than the Tesla or the BMW. Anything would’ve been a better idea than this one but for once you couldn’t let go of the fiery side to you and just got in a car with your middle finger to your ex thinking you were so much better than a first class seat with expensive champagne.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” You say to yourself. Your hands run over your face. As dramatic as you can be you think you feel the end coming. The smoke from the engine never dies down and the sun is getting hotter and hotter. No more bubble gum pop plays from the radio but instead the sound of birds chirping and your paranoia of a bear eating you eats at your ears. You think maybe you should’ve sent that drunk ‘I miss you’ text to your ex back two nights ago when you were drunk to maybe just feel his dick once more and get on a stupid train with him but now you are—

“Miss?” A knock at your window causes you to jump. Screaming as you are met with the face of a man and grabbing your pepper spray from the keys and pointing. Even though the window was rolled up you still point and he backs up with his hands up.

“What the fuck!” You scream as you lower the pepper spray. You don’t know when, don’t know how, but now pulled in front of you was a black SUV that was in much better shape than your car. A man who wore a tight white shirt and had sweet chocolate brown curls stood with a scared look on his face.

“I-I’m sorry! I-I wanted to make sure you were okay. I’ve seen your smoke some while back and...and you were slumped over your steering wheel and needed to make sure I didn’t need to call police.” He explained very rushed. You place your hand over your heart, calming yourself as you reached to roll down your window so you can properly talk to him. A harmless boy who was probably on his way home.

“I’m fine.” You almost groan as you put your pepper spray back down. Running your hands over your face once again. Tom takes in how nice you look, black suit and neatly painted nails, you looked expensive so what was such an expensive girl like you doing in such a dirty old car like this?

“You got smoke coming from your car, you don’t look fine miss.” He looks at the cloud that still comes from your car. He has a worried look. You hate that you make the assumption of him being a man so he will know how to fix it but at the same time he was an Angel sent from Heaven,

“The engine blew out...at least I think…” you trail off. Honestly you didn’t know anymore, The last time you worked with a car was when you were 15 and before your grandpa died. The only person who truly taught you about cars now seemed to be reincarnated into the Greek god in front of you.

“Mind if I take a look?” He asked and you nodded as you popped the hood.

Stepping out of your car you join the boy in the front. Taller than him in the heels you wore having him look up at you as if you were the Angel sent down in the moment.

He doesn’t hesitate to dig his fingers into your car. Feeling the overheated engine and you watched as his eyes went in shock and his sigh. You were fucked. Utterly fucked and no, it wasn’t by some hot guy on a plane like you wished in the moment.

“She’s busted.” He looked at you. You almost want to roll your eyes and go ‘thanks’ as if you already didn’t know that. “I might be able to fix her up, gotta take her back to the shop and see what I can do but other than that she’s no good for a ride.” He placed his hands on his hips and looked up at you again.

“You mean it’s like broken broken down?” You start to panic even more. Ruining the BMW was far more worth it than the ‘57 Chevy you drove. No one made a car like this anymore and you adored it. Every chip of paint, every dent, each faded seat you loved as your own.

“I can see what I can do.” He shrugged. He starts to walk to his car, opening the trunk to hook your busted vehicle up to his and drag it back to where he just came from. As he starts to hook up your car you only just stare, watching as he does his work. He rubs his now oily hands on his pant leg before he looks up at you.

“You wanna hop in the front?” He asked and you started walking to your car and he let out a laugh. “No I meant my car, Angel.”

The random man that pulls over on the side of the road, has you pointing your pepper spray one moment ago now has you acting like a idiot as he was so pretty and a gift sent just for you.

“Right,” you walk around to the passengers seat. “Sorry.” You cleared your throat as you sat and waited in silence. Waiting for him to come around and when he does he doesn’t say anything but just starts up the car.

“You’re not going to kill me are you?” You looked over to him who has a goofy grin on his face.

“No sweetheart.” He shakes his head and you sigh in relief. As if he would even tell you that he was going to kill you. “You’re not going to kill me are you? With that spray you’ve got?” He teased and you shook your head.

“No, and sorry, I was just panicked and you are—“ you started but he lets a low laugh that you find so attractive.

“No I get it, you’re fine.” He stared back at the road. You were so use to the city, the tall building and the blinding lights you never really got to see the beauty of London outside of it. The gorgeous countryside you never knew existed actually did. But the countryside only lasted for so long before you were in a town filled with some of the cutest shops and was like a small city. So cute and so tiny.

“You wear heels on a road trip?” He broke the silence again and this time you’re looking at the four inch shoes.

“I-well-“ you looked and sounded like a proper idiot. You worked for one of London’s best businesses and now you were stumbling over your words, “well...yes? I’m on a business trip.” You admit and he looks back at the busted vehicle.

“I don’t know what business you work for but them sending you in a—“ he starts and you shake your head.

“No, no, that is mine. I thought—I didn’t want to go on a train and—it’s just complicated. A complicated stupid mess.” You tell him and he tilts his head as if he was agreeing.

“Well, I’ll see how well I can get you out of the complicated stupid mess.” He flashed a smile before he turned into what looked like a garage. A large garage that was filled with cars of all types, from new to old there were cars that had looked like they had been worked on for days as Tom pulled his car up and turned it off.

“We have some water in the front if you need some and there's a bathroom in the back. Make yourself a home, I'll get started.” and so for once, instead of just staring at him as if he was a piece of art hanging in the louvre, you search for the bathroom and the water he was talking about.

Leaving him to pop back open your hood, you walk into the bathroom and run cold water over your face. Feeling yourself relax at the feeling of finally getting the heat from the sun out of your face. Facing yourself in the mirror, you stare long and hard at yourself. The dimly lit bathroom, the achy feeling in your feet from being so stupid and wearing heels, the fact you broke down in god know what part of london but now you are in a mechanic shop and you are letting some random person fix up your beloved car.

“Should’ve just gotten on the train.” you groan as you take a paper towel and dry your face. Reaching for the door and walking back out to the garage where tom was now in a white tank top that was stained black all over, he had a towel over his shoulder as he worked at your car. You try to swallow the lump in your throat as you are completely mesmerized by the man in front of you.

Should've gotten on the train. Should've gotten on the train. Should've gotten on the train.

“Fuck!” Tom almost hits his head on the hood of the car as he sees you. You think he had curly hair at the start, now he had hair that kind of stuck to his forehead from the heat and sweat of your car. His hands are covered in black oils and he wipes them on the towel. “You scared me.” he lets out a breath as if he held it in and you take a seat at the stool next to the table filled with tools as he walks over to it.

“Sorry,” you say as you look at the car and try not to make it obvious you want to fuck him right now. A complete stranger that picked you up, you want to fuck. What if he did want to kill you? What if he had a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? Or a family of kids? What if-

“You hear me?” he was closer to you than ever and you felt your whole body go weak.

“I'm so sorry,” you shake your head. “What did you say?’

He lets out that stupid pretty laugh of his again as he puts tools back in the tool box. Cleaning up the mess he just made he repeats himself.

“I said, your car is so old that they don't make the part I need to fix her up anymore. Luckily I know a guy who has the part but it will take a few days to come in. the engine is completely busted and i think if i go a year up in model I can put it in just right. But for now she needs to cool off. She’s not gonna be able to drive for a while.” he gives you almost a pout and you slouch your shoulders.

“So I'm screwed?” your brows raised and he gave you a pressed lipped look.

“Im sorry angel, I got a spare room at my place or there is a bed and breakfast up the road I can drop you off at but for now there is nothing I can do.” he says and you sigh. Maybe you want to cry, scream, throw something but Tom notices it all at once as he watches your head drop.

Tom grew up around boys. His whole life was wrestling with his brothers and working on cars. He never dealt with girls crying. Even when he had girlfriends they typically left when they were crying but now he has a crying girl right under his roof after he worked on her car. It did take everything in him to not ask why she used the old thing but he knew a lot more was happening than just a beat down old car.

“I'm sorry. I should thank you, not cry.” you sniffled as you looked up at him who was on his knees crouched down for you. Face to face, he had a concerned look.

“I have a feeling that car isn't why you’re crying.” he didn't know how to play therapist and mechanic but tonight he would.

“I was so stupid not to just get on the train. God, I would have already been there by now and all because I didnt want to sit next to my stupid cheating ex who I thought I was so much better than if I just got in this old thing and drove there myself.” you wipe your eyes and he hands you a tissue but you shake your head.

“He sounds like a shit guy.” He spoke and you nodded.

“He is, but he was the only one that gave a shit about me and now I'm here like an idiot. Well, not an idiot...no, yeah. An idiot. You're really nice and sweet though so thank you.” you try and give him a smile and he stands up.

“Get up.” he groans a bit as he stretches his legs. “C’mon sweets, get up. I’m not going to let you cry over a guy who treated you like shit. You drink?” he asked and you nodded. “I have some beer in the fridge, you already had a shit day let's not cry about it.”

You don't know if you wanted to throw the wrench at him or if you needed him to say that. Either way he sets an ice cold beer in front of you and pops open the top for you.

Probably making more money than everyone in this town, you never thought you would plop down on a nearly broken bar stool in the middle of a car mechanic shop and drink away your feelings with a random man you just met today. You didnt even know his name, nor did he know yours but he listened to everything you had to say about your ex boyfriend who was probably fucking some model right now while you for once felt like you didnt have to play pretend nice in front of someone. How you don't know what god above sent this man in front of you but he did and he listened to each of your problems, nodding and not saying anything back as he just listened to everything.

“I used to work on cars too.” you look over at the cars and he raises his brows.you had finally stopped crying so much, realizing what was happening and where you were but you felt like a weight was taken off your shoulders when you told him everything. Not even your best friend could make you feel like that.

“Penthouse princess used to work on cars?” he teased and you only nudged his shoulder.

“Wow, penthouse princess?” you repeat back to him with a playful smile and he nods.

“Never got your name and you live in a penthouse and act like a princess.” he takes a sip of his beer and you finally extend your hand to meet his.

“(y/n).” you shook his dirty one but wow were his hands thick. You could feel each callous and feel each crooked finger. Your mind went to dirty places and you think maybe he caught on as he watched your legs cross over themselves as you shook his hand.

“Tom.” his thumb swiped over yours as he shook your hand. The feeling made you swallow hard and him smirk just a bit for himself. Before you could get too comfy you walked over to a truck that already had its hood popped open. You stumble a bit in your heels and the uneven ground and Tom is quick to follow you to make sure you don't hurt yourself.

“That's the engine.” you point. And he nods, his hand is on his hips as he watches you point and explain. “That's the brake pad, that's where you put in the oil…” you trail on and Tom nods as you get everything correct.

“Very good, darling.” he nods impressed and you look over at him with a smirk.

“What? No penthouse princess?” you're close to him. You didn't realize how close he was to you before you turned around and are almost chest to chest with him.

“Mmh, you have a preference?” he teased and you look down at your feet. You're still taller than him, but you think even without the heels on you would be either taller or the same height as him. You were always told that you were the one in control, always the one in demand which seemed to be a complaint by your ex.

“Mmh,” you lean in close enough to where your chest is gently pressed against his. “I'm not sure yet.” you let your hand go to the strap of his tank top, its dirty with oil before you let your hands go down and touch the muscle. Feeling just how strong he was, he was pretty tanned too. He was both toned and tanned as he watched your hands trail down to the bottom of his shirt.

His hands rested on your waist. Holding you tight in place and maybe in the moment he was the shorter on but he was always in control. Always.

“You seem so indecisive, do you want to drive or get on a train? Get back with a man or stay away? You don't even know where you want to sleep at night but you still act like you're so in control.” he almost mocks, giving you the same pout you had throughout the entire night and it shocked you.

“I know what I want.” you nearly snarl back and he clicks his tongue.

“Yeah?” he almost whispers as he leans in for your ear. “Prove it.”

You don't know when or how but his lips quickly land on yours. In a rough fight for dominance he has his hands wrapped around your thighs and has you picked up and laid down on one of the cars with a hood down. You don't realize it's your car with his hood down until you brace yourself on the hood. Stripping of your suit jacket and fiddling with your pants button but tom is already on it. He's down on his knees, undoing the straps of your shoes as he lets his hands go up and undo the buttons of your pants. Having you nearly completely naked in front of him, that's not exactly what he was going for as he picks you up from the hood as has you on your knees in front of him.

“Was so cute, you thought you were going to get exactly what you wanted.” his hand was dirty as it stroked your face but landed a grip on your chin. Pulling you in close, your head in between his thighs looking up at him with pleading eyes. You almost whimper, you were on your knees for a man you didn't know and you were almost whimpering.

“Dont act stupid.” he nearly spit at you as he leaned back. Your hands are going to unzip his pants but he stops you. Forcing you to rest your hands on his thighs as he pulls himself out of his pants. You swallowed hard as he was bigger than you had expected--far bigger than your ex as you felt like your mouth was watering as he used his thumb to stroke over the tip.

“Stick your tongue out.” he told you. You gladly stuck your tongue out with your mouth wide and ready to take him. He had one grip on your jaw and the other guiding his cock into your mouth. You start to suck but that's not what he wanted. He held your jaw in place as he thrusted up into you.

“Thats a good girl,” he hissed as he used your mouth as if it was his own personal toy. You reached to stroke what couldnt fit in your mouth and he let out an airy laugh. “What a little whore you are.” he shook his head. “So desperate, is this not enough for you? Sucking on my cock not enough for you?” he taunted you and you only moan—or at least try to moan and he laughs.

“What was that darling? I can't seem to hear you?” he teased and you only whined more with your mouth around him. You play a game with yourself where you think you can make him cum like this. Making him cum this early would mean that you always were more incharge from the start. But you barely know him, you don't know how long he can last.

“Get up.” he pulls your head off of him. His cock still hard as it fell onto his stomach and you were drooling with his precum. Your eyes don't even look up at him you look at the redness of his cock, how you want more of it and maybe you were the whore like he said.

“Look at me,” he pulled you up, now face to face with him. His hand that was free slips in between thighs, teasing as he gets closer and closer to your core and he clicks his tongue again. “Such a dirty girl, don't even want to look at me, say thank you, you just look at my cock wanting more. You want more?” he strokes your cheek and you nod. “What was that? A moment ago I thought I was talking to one of the richest girls in London but now I feel like I'm talking to just some whore--” he starts to talk but your lips are already on his. You straddle his hips. Extremely unsturdy but he quickly picks you up and flips you over. As much as he'd loved to see what you look like on top of him. Tits bouncing for him and trying to hold on, here was not the best place. He would get a better view later, he just knew it.

For now he flips you over on your stomach. You're pressed up against the car as he wraps his hand around your waist and uses his fingers for a bit.

“So fucking tight.” he slides in slowly at first. Making you gasp and him hiss. “That other boy fuck you like this?” he asked but you were too busy trying to feel more of him. His hand comes down to your ass and in shock you yelp. “I asked you a question, don't say you don't know manners either.'' He was close to your ear and you shook your head no.

“No!” you nearly cry out as he pushes into you. Completely filling you up. You feel tears perk at the corner of your eyes for how desperately you needed him. You even push back on him and he lets out a soft laugh. “H-he's never fucked me like this, god tom please move!” you cry out. His hands come to your waist and he clicks his tongue again.

“Since you asked so nicely.” he teased as he pulled himself fully out and pushed himself fully back in. you cry out, not caring who heard you, you cried out as he fucked into you like you two were the last people on earth.

“Fuck youre so tight.” he threw his head back as he held on to your hips. You felt yourself give up under him. There was no use in you trying to take control anymore when he did this to you. Had you dumbed down just for his dick.

“I need to cum tom.” you cry out. You try and open your eyes to look back at him who has created a rhythm for your body. His head is thrown back and he shakes his head.

“No.” was all he said and you nearly cry more. “Not yet.” was all he said as he went faster.

“Please, please, please.” you begged between a mixture of moans and cries. Reaching back to hold his hands but he quickly moved them to wrap around your waist and touch your clit. Using his thumb to rub gentle circles you nearly

“So cute when you whine like that.” he chuckled. You felt him twitch, knowing he was close too, you clenched your walls around him. You could barely hear his gasp but you have your cheek pushed up against the hood of your car that got you here in the first place.

“Fuck,” he struglld to moan out. “C-Cum for me.” he sped up and your whole body went numb. You swear you pass out for a moment as all you hear are his moans and the sudden feeling of him stopping.

Both heavy breathing you slowly move yourself to get up, at least turn yourself around so you can face a clearly stunned tom. His mouth open just a bit and his eyes are wide.

“Y-you squirted.” he tells you and suddenly you go from feeling like the sexiest person alive to feeling your body heat up in full embarrassment.

“I-i'm so sorry i-i didn't know-” you start to stammer as you reach for your shirt to clean him up but he shakes his head still trying to catch his breath.

“No, It was hot.” he says as his shock turns into a small smirk, cocky that he was able to do that. “Fuck, have you ever done that before?” he asked.

Your cheeks heated up, even though he couldn't see the clear embarrassment you nodded. One time, years ago when you were by yourself. You hadn't touched yourself in over a month and it was just the highest setting of your vibe and the hottest porn star you could find that had done it to you. Never ever had an actual man been able to make you do that. Hell, you were lucky if your ex even made you cum.

“O-Once, once but I was by myself.” you swallowed hard, you could already see the smirk on his face as he knew he was so much better than anyone you had ever had. He didn't even know your ex partners but if he could get you to do that the first time he fucked you then even you knew you didn't need anyone else.

He uses his clean shirt to clean you up. Helping you slip back on your underwear and making sure that you could still walk--you barely could. He helps you into his car. Letting you cool down a bit before he drove out of the garage, driving down the road and it was only about a minute until you arrived at the cutest house you had ever seen.

He lifted you out and brought you inside, passing you clothes that were far better to sleep in than a suit and your completely ruined underwear, you found yourself getting comfy under his bedsheets.

“So im guessing im not going to the bed and breakfast for the night?” you nuzzled into the sheets that smelt of ocean spray and cedarwood. This man was some sort of god, you swore on it.

“Hmm, no. unless you still want to.” he slides under the sheets himself. His hands dont touch you but you gladly lean in and wrap your arms around him. He at first stills, stiffens his whole body before he relaxes for you. He didn't even know what he was thinking. First he helps the pretty girl he worried was dead on the side of the road and now he has her in his bed after having one of the best orgasms of his life.

“No,” you hum against his chest. “If you don't mind.” but it wasn't a question. This time you take control over the situation and fall quickly asleep in his arms. He only lays there, waiting for you to find yourself fully asleep.

Fuck that stupid train, fuck your stupid ex, and fuck him.

Dark roast and sizzling eggs fill your nose. You wake up with puffy eyes, from crying last night embarrassingly in Tom's arms you look down and see you're only in a random stained tee and your underwear. In a way,you thought you hit your head hard enough on the steering wheel that all of this was a dream but it was real. You lay in a grey sheeted bed and hear the sound of music come from the kitchen.

Ideally, if you got on the train, you would have woken up in a hotel with a view of the city and probably eat half of a bagel and drink rich coffee from the breakfast bar before being off to your first conference of the day. But you were instead naked in the bed of a man who was helping you fix your car.

You stumble out of the bed, your legs wobbly, feeling as if you did a hardcore work out you nearly wince. What the man did was something you swore was only in porn. You don't know what kind of magic fucked him over while he works on cars but his fingers were skilled.

“Woah, woah,” Tom came over to you. Plaid boxers and no shirt, you think you died and went to heaven. Your car exploded and you died and went to heaven and if this is what it was then you were perfectly okay with that. “You okay?”

You nod, sitting at the island and only watching him. You knew you had to say a word soon but you didn't know what to say.

“Not so sure how you liked your eggs so I made them scrambled because that's personally how I like them but I can make them any other way you like-” he starts to go off and you only nod.

“No, I like scrambled.” When was the last time you had a breakfast like this? You grew up with servants and your parents are always gone. You never had a breakfast as simple as this.

He gave you a smile, you walked over to the coffee machine and poured coffee into the mug that was already out.

“Not sure if you were a coffee or tea type of person, if you-” before you could listen to his ramble again you shook your head.

“I like coffee. Coffee for the morning and tea typically in the evening.” you tell him and he gives a smile and a sweet nod.

“Me too.” was all he said before he remembered what was happening. “Hey, when do you have to be at that business trip? Or whatever it was?” you nearly spit out the coffee as he brings it up. You knew everything that was happening but honestly you were holding on to the concept you died and went to heaven but you had a conference in probably an hour and who the hell knows where you are.

“You know what,” your heart suddenly calms down. The panic subsides as you take another sip of that coffee. “Fuck them. They have waited for others before and they can wait for me. Fuck the trip, fuck the car and fuck my ex.” you felt good saying it. Tom slid you a plate of eggs and toast and you smiled.

“The car is still better than the train?” He remembers how all of this is about you and your ex fighting and you not wanting to sit on the train next to him.

With a smile, with everything that had happened within the past 24 hours, you pick up the plate and turn to tom.

“I don't think I should've taken the train.”

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primrose-path-of-dalliance · 4 years ago

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psa: trent ikithon is not as competent and powerful as he makes himself seem.

(cw: discussion of abuse)

i'm not sure how to get into this in a way that's natural, so i hope you don't mind if i go for the straightforward route.

trent ikithon is an abuser. that means his tactics all center around—and rely upon—making vulnerable people believe that he has far more power than he actually does. and when it comes to our pov, the m9's pov, ikithon is trying his damnedest to accomplish the same.

now, i don't know everything that's in matt mercer's head when he has played or characterized trent ikithon. i'm sure there's some depth to his motivations and intelligence, and i don't doubt that ikithon ideologically believes in strengthening the empire. but this is not relevant to the abuse tactics i want to discuss.

because the reality is this: abusers do what they do because they enjoy victimizing and controlling the vulnerable.

that's why you get abusers like archivist zeenoth who are attracted to positions of authority. those positions facilitate structural imbalances of power between them and their potential victims. trent ikithon, too, is doing the same thing—as an archmage of the cerberus assembly, he is exploiting the authority of his position to gain victims for abusing. he is not doing what he does because he's a brilliant mastermind focused on a goal. if he was, he wouldn't abuse his students.

think about it in terms of effectiveness. no matter what people like ikithon try to assert, his volstrucker are not in any way stronger or more capable from his 'tutelage'. caduceus clay roasted the man in his own dining room for this lie. what the volstrucker are are an organization of ruthless, skilled spies built from deeply abused and damaged people. they aren't healthy; they aren't stable. caleb widogast spent eleven years in a sanatorium because he was one of many recruits who broke under the abuse (see EGtW), and then five years as a solitary, paranoia-ridden mess in a filthy coat. he spent months trying not to self-sabotage his growing friendships and had a panic attack as soon as he left ophelia mardun's mansion in shadycreek (e27, 2:55:21). he has ptsd from using fire magic to burn people to death—considering his statement on executing traitors to the empire as a trainee (e18, 2:48:12), it was probably an everyday part of the job.

even the minority of volstrucker that do get through the training stage aren’t functioning well. only a few episodes ago, we watched astrid finish a conversation with caleb and then duck into an alleyway so she could curl up and have a five-minute breakdown before putting the composed mask back on (e126, 1:50:47). abuse makes being alive harder; good luck being a sustainable espionage program at that point.

so that's one lie. how about another?

at the dinner in ikithon's tower, ikithon implied that he has guided every step of caleb's path to recovery and ever-growing power. that caleb's plans to murder ikithon are exactly what he wants; that he even arranged his escape from the vergessen sanatorium (e110, 2:52:58).

i think enough people have recognized that ikithon's first claim is utter bullshit, considering that caleb and the m9 had just arrived from a random island on which they hosted a cult gathering festooned with phalluses. but the implication that he arranged for caleb's escape from the sanatorium was just that: an implication. he never says outright that he did so. he only couched what he knew in gaslighting platitudes and handed over the holy symbol of the cleric that healed him. you won't sense a lie that hasn't been spoken. he let caleb and the m9 make their assumptions, and the assumption worked in his favor.

let's consider the actual circumstances of caleb's escape (e18, beginning 2:51:54). a fellow inmate of the sanatorium who was a cleric suddenly grabbed him and healed him of his madness before returning to her own ravings. caleb then pretended he was still insane for two weeks before killing a guard, stealing the amulet that kept him hidden, and fleeing. how would any of these events work in trent ikithon's favor? the number of absurd assumptions here are off the charts.

first, you would have to believe that a cleric could permanently heal a man who'd been insane and probably experimented on for eleven years.

second, you would have to assume that this man would still be competent enough to pass general scrutiny and break out.

third, you would have to believe that he'd totally survive on his own without any resources whatsoever,

after eleven years of being institutionalized,

while first beginning deep in the pearlbow wilderness—

all without raising the suspicion of this apparently still hypercompetent ex-patient that his escape was too easy.

and fourth, you would have to believe that this man would actually accomplish something in your interests instead of, say, dying or remaining a vagrant beggar forever.

if this was all on purpose, then trent ikithon is really an idiot.

another truth: caleb was not special. both liam and caleb have said so (talks for e88, beginning 28:00; & e110, 29:06), with the examples of other volstrucker supporting this. all of them are talented mages and good at spycraft! they have to be to graduate in the first place! ikithon's assertions that caleb was extra special (e110, 2:52:11)? also a lie—specifically, a great tactic for convincing a victim of abuse not to think about it further. of course they're being hurt again. of course they're being targeted again. not to mention how abusers selectively compliment in order to confuse the people they’re hurting (relevant here: e88, 3:28:25). caleb having an unhealthy amount of hubris and thus open to being diagnosed with protagonist disease doesn’t help.

ikithon would have easily deduced the details of what happened and obtained the holy symbol after an investigation of the break-out. not too hard to piece things together if you simply ask about unusual events prior to the escape and learn that he'd had an altercation with another patient two weeks ago—and oh yes, that patient used to be a blasphemous cleric.

caleb widogast basically reappeared next door healthier, much more powerful, and more capable than ever. ikithon doesn’t have control over caleb’s entire past and future—but he wants him to believe he does. it’s a gaslighting attempt to make caleb question his own accomplishments and attribute them to ikithon so that ikithon can regain some control over his ex-student.

another truth: trent ikithon is already on thin fucking ice. no one in the cerberus assembly likes each other, of course, but a consistent point was made again and again that everyone deeply dislikes ikithon. he's stayed because he made himself useful, but he could and would get taken care of should he be a detriment instead (see e88, 3:19:27; & e97, 3:19:32).

any sort of thorough investigation into the volstrucker and the vergessen sanatorium would reveal exactly how fragile all of his agents are and how frequently he fails in conditioning his recruits. ikithon gets the pick of the crop when it comes to nationalistic, talented students that enter the soltryce academy. to find out that he drives a significant number of them insane? well, that's a pure waste of unrealized potential. and for what—a program of spies who are paranoid enough and opportunistic enough to turn on each other if prodded the right way?

and now... trent ikithon, as part of the traitorous beacon research, has been under heavy investigation from two fronts: the augen trust and the cobalt soul (e125, 2:31:10). and he has been getting very nervous recently (e125, 2:41:42).

the final truth i want to point out: trent ikithon is just as control-obsessed as any other abuser. we got the most obvious example of this yet from e128—his pursuit of the m9 to nicodranas and tidepeak tower. think about the circumstances again.

he was apparently so curious and so annoyed by caleb rebuffing all of his attempts at ‘conversation’ that he made his excuses before teleporting directly to nicodranas,

through a circle implied to be arranged diplomatically between the empire and the clovis concord,

with a plan to break into the lavish chateau, one of the most high-profile locations of the city, to potentially kidnap or kill everyone,

including the famous and beloved ruby of the sea.

he then chased the m9 and their families to the equally high-profile tidepeak tower on the open quay, all of which is owned by yussa errenis, an archmage himself who’s learned far more about local politics than he ever wanted to know,

intimidated his “man”servant,

and broke in.

and they did all of this possibly with some very confused members of the zhelezo following right behind them.

other people have gone through the potential political consequences of this more thoroughly than me, so suffice to say that trent ikithon has gotten himself into some deep shit. you can’t negotiate or magic yourself out of being witnessed by hundreds of people breaking into the tower of an archmage who is infamous among the locals for being a bitchy recluse.

if he was smart, and clever, and a brilliant mastermind, he wouldn’t have done any of that. what he could have done: continue to handle caleb from an ominous distance through spells like sending. allege to the cerberus assembly and king dwendal that the break-in was an underhanded cobalt soul mission because of beauregard’s association with the m9. or just straight-up say that the m9 broke into his facilities because they have a vendetta against him and have them at least investigated the next time the empire can hold onto them for a second.

but he didn’t do any of those much more clever possibilities. he acted impulsively and rashly and may well be on the way to a lot of trouble now. all because ikithon just could not handle caleb being saucy.

with all this in mind, i want to go back to one last detail: astrid and eadwulf. because these two would suffer terrible consequences if they ran away—allegedly.

because i want to ask... what exactly could ikithon do to them?

they’ve already killed their own parents. so far, we’ve had no sign either that they have anyone else important to them in his reach besides each other. they have nothing tying themselves to him besides years of abuse and the crimes they’ve committed as volstrucker. they might want some power of their own, sure, perhaps they want to kill him while they’re still close. but we certainly know that eadwulf and astrid are not invested in the volstruckers as it stands. they doubt ikithon. and they already have their own amulets.

so what else could make them so terrified by the idea of leaving with the m9 except the way that trent ikithon has abused them and convinced them that he’s powerful enough and capable enough to catch up to them?

don’t be fooled. he hosted the most embarrassing excuse for a dining-with-the-enemy scene (seriously, i hope someone reading this cringed the entire time as well from all the long pauses and terrible topic transitions) and then teleported away to flee caduceus clay’s scalding tea. no retort, no blackmail. he acted recklessly in nicodranas and appropriately pushed two of his own volstrucker to betray him, losing his one opportunity to capture the m9′s family there. and now ikithon is between a rock and a hard place in terms of political standing, with a spy network he has openly encouraged to turn against him.

there is no terror waiting in the wings anymore, no more strings he can pull. just an abuser playing up his own grandeur. at this point, the only thing he hasn’t reached his limit in yet is his high-level spell slots.

#cr #critical role #cr meta #trent ikithon #caleb widogast #astrid #eadwulf #abuse #gaslighting mention #prim post #prim says some things #long post #he's a horrible and despicable person who's #used his power to commit massive harm don't get me wrong #but don't fall for overestimating him- he wants you to

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