#also i want to actually sit down and develop/portray the people she lost in the hysteria back then

[corvidmagicae]

I really want to get a solid grasp of which era PL:Z-A will be taking place in, since This Does Matter For Bri. tl;dr: Bri before she lost her voice is a much different beast than Bri after she lost her voice. If it's in the equivalent of the 1800s, it's do-able but boring as far as Bri goes, since that's post-loss, so it'll be same old paranoid Bri. But if it's anywhere before the 1600s decade, preferably after the plague and hundred year's war.....

[deluweil]

Buddie 4x14 review - if you haven’t watched it yet don’t read.

The episode starts where we left it, once Buck was on the ground, it seems like he was thrust back into reality. I noticed two things here (connected with 4x13) Eddie didn’t close his eyes until Buck was safe behind the truck on the ground. And the second thing is that Buck was spurred into action the moment Eddie’s eyes closed.

And I mean this was some BAMF Buckley right there, that was SEALS trained Evan Buckley! 😱🤩 It’s like training and instinct kicked in and all that mattered was to get to Eddie and get him help as soon as possible, sniper’s bullets be damned. I gotta say it was executed to perfection❣

Big kudos to both Oliver and Ryan for delivering this whole sequence in a heart-wrenching, beautiful manner.

The shooting doesn’t stop and they get Eddie out of there under fire, I really like the 133 captain and crew, they worked so well with the members of the 118, it seemed effortless. (I’m not touching that subject, but let’s picture Buck lifting Eddie bodily up into his arms and in to the truck for just a second here. - I mean we wanted it but not under these circumstances)

Buck taking the role of medic when finally getting Eddie into the truck, is so amazing, he’s usually the one either in need for treatment or the one who stands back and let’s Hen, Chim and Eddie do the medic stuff, it is their jobs after all, but he doesn’t sit back and let the medics of the 133 to take over, he does it himself. 

He tore Eddie’s uniform’s buttons open (again, that’s not how any of us wished for this to happen), tore the pressure bandage wrap open and pressed it down on the wound, he did not step back from Eddie, until he absolutely has to, at the hospital. 😭

Eddie, my poor baby, was lying on the ground of the truck, bleeding and half conscious and the one thing he focused on was the blood on Buck’s shirt and he asked him if he’s hurt. I mean I could totally cry, because that’s Eddie. Best friend, combat medic, protective and caring, that never goes away even as he’s lying there bleeding. 🥺🥺

Eddie was legit ready to forget his injuries and try to get up and take care of Buck if he was hurt too. He loses consciousness only when Buck assures him that he’s not hurt.

Buck’s frantic litany of “Just hang on, we’re almost there.” and “I need you to hang on” (“I need you”, not we, not Christopher, “I need you”) was really hard to watch, because even though we all read and wrote it in fanfics thousands of times, watching it actually play out was heartbreaking, I totally teared up with Buck there.🥺🥺

For firefighters the job ends at the hospital doors, so Buck naturally, out of instinct stops from following. But that’s Eddie taken away from him and he looks frozen, at that moment he must have thousands of thoughts running around his head.

“You ok Buckley?”

Buck’s broken “No.” was maybe expected, but it was also earth shattering of sorts. This is Buck standing there, knowing (especially after the well incident) that when Eddie is not okay, he’s not either. 😭❤

I want to point out that I loved the fact that the 133 didn’t just drive away or waited outside for the cops, they went in after Eddie. And after trying to check in on Buck, the Captain of the 133 went in too.

I’m going to point out a parallel here between S3 Finale and S4 finale, in 3x18 Eddie asks Buck if he’s ok as his ex-girlfriend was taken in the ambulance with her new fiancé, Buck’s response was “What’s next?” and going back to work. He was okay, because Eddie was with him, and there was still work to be done.

Here in 4x14, Eddie is taken from him to the hospital, and Buck doesn’t know if he’ll live, so Buck’s obvious answer here is ‘No’.

Later we see Buck exiting the hospital, in his firefighter uniform. I’m a little disappointed we don’t see him cleaning up, I know that could have made for a hell of a scene, Oliver would have killed it, and us in my opinion.

Taylor is coming to the hospital, not as a reporter but as a friend. She was worried. I like that side of her, when she knows to put away the reporter and to make sure her friend is in one piece. Her character development is shown beautifully in this scene. 

Buck, in no condition to pretend and speak to the press, turns away from her, he doesn’t trust her at that moment and he doesn’t trust himself not to break down there. He’s teary, still in shock and his hands are shaking like crazy. (in complete contrast to the usual Buck, where he can be in danger or wrap up a crazy rescue and he is normally completely steady.)

Taylor, offered to take Buck to Eddie’s house to see Christopher, telling him he can’t go see Chris looking like he does now. “You can’t got see his son like that.” - At first hear and several others it sounded like “Your son.” - of course it’s not but either way it would have been true too, because in a way Buck has been co-parenting Christopher for a very long time now. And indeed later when Buck gets to Eddie’s house he is washed and dressed in civilian clothes.

The scene with Oli and Gavin killed me! I thought for sure the breaking down will be done in private, but Buck couldn’t hold it together in front of Christopher once he found out Eddie is going to be ok, and Christopher comforting Buck was so so sweet.

Christopher’s “like the ones who fixed you?” Kind of gives us a certain idea as to the conversation Eddie had to have with Christopher when Buck was hurt. His sweet “Then he’s going to be ok,” he says it with such conviction, only adding “right?” only as an afterthought.

And as if he manifested it himself Buck then gets a text from Bobby that tells him that Eddie pulled through surgery and it looks good.

Buck actually dropped the phone from the relief and he started to cry, and sweet, adorable, national treasure Christopher puts an arm around him and tells him that Eddie is going to be okay. I definitely cried with Buck here. It was such a powerful scene and it was portrayed so well by Oliver and Gavin. 

The “it’s going to be okay Buck” was kind of a call back to 3x01 - when Christopher reassures Buck and tells him “You’re going to be okay kid.” - I love these two together so much! ❤❤

When Bobby gives them the talk in the firehouse about how they proceed from there, Buck is standing with his arms crossed, looking completely dejected. And when Hen asks about the safety of their families, Bobby says there's no reason to believe they are in danger, Buck pipes in with “We didn’t have a reason to believe Eddie will get shot helping a kid either.” Buck is traumatized, and worried, he sleeps at Eddie’s house looking after Christopher.

I loved Christopher waking Buck up, and them having cereal breakfast together, a call back to Eddie and Christopher having breakfast together in 2x04. Buck doesn’t sit next to Chris, but across from him - to me it says that the seat between them is usually reserved to Eddie when they’re together at the house.

I love how Christopher’s teasing Buck about him snoring. And Buck is later confused because he’s unsure of whether or not Chris really understands what’s happening, but Carla assures him that he already lost his mother, unfortunately he understands better than he or she thinks. Which again should give people a new appreciation for Christopher’s sunshine child attitude.🥺❤

Carla showing up to take Christopher to school, is showing relief that Buck could finally sleep, which means that he didn’t for at least a couple of nights. She’s also asking him how it feels to go to work, Buck doesn’t even think about the sniper, for him all that matters is that Eddie is not out there with him and it feels off. (call back to 2x18 when Eddie seemed pensive about being back at work but Buck was not with them.)

Carla, bless her, retorts that that is not what she was asking - obviously she meant, she was worried about the sniper, but that is not Buck’s main worry, his head and his heart are somewhere else.

The crane scene was insane! I laughed when Chimney looked to Bobby and asked him “Can you blame him cap?” and Bobby flat out responded “Yeah!” 😂

The rescue was really impressive. However if Eddie ever found out about this he would probably hit Buck over the head with something heavy. It just goes to show that Eddie is Buck’s impulse control and vice-versa.

Bobby and Buck’s interaction wasn’t one of anger, Bobby was terrified and Buck was guilty but unapologetic, because he couldn’t protect Eddie but he could protect the rest of his family, so he did just that. Bobby didn’t have anything to say other than give him the same response Eddie did in Monsters - “Don’t do it again.” - Because for one, in my opinion, Bobby knows where Buck is coming from and also Bobby knows, he knows Eddie is Buck’s impulse control, knows he’s his anchor, he knows that Buck will only be his relatively normal self when Eddie comes back.

I’m not even going to touch the Taylor scene, yes she was worried, and yes she scolded him in a friendly way, but that kiss felt so out of left field for me, especially since Buck was just packing a bag to go stay with Christopher and Eddie was still unconscious at the hospital.

Also she freaking friendzoned him last episode, how fickle do male writers think women are? She gets a little scared and kisses the guy? Lucky they didn’t write in a sex scene! That was an insult to women everywhere in my opinion. It could have been set in so many better opportunities, why now? And if she’s scared now what’s to say that won’t make her leave like Ali did? I have a whole tirade about it but I will let it go for now.

Now I know ya’ll are like - Eddie woke up because his spidey senses told him someone was kissing his Buck (and I do not negate that point lol), but he just woke up and he asked for Buck. I find it so deliriously endearing that I need a moment even as I’m writing this.🤗🤗

I have to point out that there is no scene of Buck, Eddie and she who will not be name together other than the second when Buck walks in (read ran through the hospital corridors) and Eddie has only eyes for his partner. 👀❤

Afterwards it just the two of them, with a brief facetime to Christopher. I love that Eddie thanks Buck for staying with Chris, and Buck pretty much breaks down the logic behind the decision, like a true parent. - Christopher’s comfort came first in Buck’s eyes, and really that just demanded a hug right there.

“Is he doing ok?” 

Buck’s response here, was very honest, a lot more honest than I expected, “better than me.” He said. Buck openly admits to Eddie, “I kinda lost it when I told him you got shot. I’m sorry I should have held it together.” To be honest, I’m very curious as to the ins and outs of Buck and Eddie’s friendship, especially during quarantine, they seem so much closer, a lot more open. More honest than you'd expect two male, straight, lead characters to be with their friends.

Buck would have played it down and shared only the essentials when it’s anybody else. With Eddie he openly saying here, in his own way, ‘I was terrified, and heartbroken, and ‘couldn’t imagine my world without you.’ - ‘I couldn’t function with a clear head.’ - ‘all my masks were shattered.’ 

“You were there for him when I couldn’t be, that’s what matters.” Eddie knows, buck, he understands him better than anyone, he’s telling him here in his own way that it’s okay, and he loves him just the way he is - it was his way to reassure Buck that he was doing just fine.

But Buck’s “Still I think it might have been better for him if I was the one who got shot.” - Eddie looked like he was ready to get up and smack some sense into Buck. 

I want to point out that Buck’s response to Eddie being hurt or in danger is nowhere near the same as his response to anyone else in danger. Case in point in 4x14 is Bobby, he is inside, probably injured, in a fire with a gunman - if it was Eddie, Buck would have waited 0.1 seconds before he disappeared back into the flames to help Eddie. 

With Bobby, he was calm, cool, calculated, he knew what Athena would do because that’s exactly what he would have done if it had been Eddie and he is ready with helpful details and a plan. He wants to go with her, but doesn’t argue when she says no. 

Eddie is Buck’s Bobby, and it reflects all throughout this episode, and I think I had some parallels pointed out in 4x13 too. So I don’t know what scripts Tim reads or if we’re all watching the same show but buddie exists and thriving as far as I’m concerned.

Buck is also the one to pick Eddie up at the hospital - he tells him that the nurse is getting his meds and discharge papers ready, which means that Buck did all that process, he was busy getting Eddie discharged. (Take a moment to soak it in.)😌

Eddie sits Buck down to talk, to be honest this talk went pretty much the way I expected it. 

Eddie explains why he had his will updated, and that Buck is Christopher’s legal guardian if anything happens to Eddie. - I love that after all this time, sweet Buck is still surprised. 

He asks if Eddie didn’t need his consent for this and Eddie’s reply is: “My attorney said you could refuse.”  

I also love, that even shell-shocked, Buck knows that Eddie knows him “You know I wouldn’t.”

And Eddie assures him that he does in fact know Buck, and he knows that Buck loves Christopher as much as Eddie does “I know you wouldn’t.” 

(”I had to do it.” - “Yeah, I know you did.” this was a call back to 4x05 where Eddie understood why Buck did what he did. And knowing what we know now, I can assume that even though Eddie understood and forgave Buck, he didn’t have to like it.)

“No one will ever fight for my son as hard as you.” - call back to 3x03 anyone? 

“There’s no one I trust with my son more than you.” - and Eddie proves it time and again.

And here he is basically giving Buck permission to give hell to his parents or anyone who tries to take Christopher away from His Buck. - And I love it!! 🤗❤

Buck, smart, handsome guy that he is, asks the right question again - “Why are you just telling me now?”

“Because Evan.” That first name that even took Buck by surprise, because Eddie only ever called him Buck, to our knowledge anyway. - Eddie was talking to Evan Buckley, not Buck, and yes they are two separate entities living inside one hunky firefighter. - This is Eddie saying, I know you’re frayed around the edges, I know I’m asking for a lot right now but I need you to hear me.

“You came in here the other day and you said it would have been better if you who were the one who was shot,” and I think for Eddie, who was lying on that firetruck floor bleeding out, and his only concern was that Buck may have been hurt, that was the worst thing Buck could have said. 

“you act like you’re expandable but you’re wrong.” 

Eddie has been where Buck is at that moment, losing his wife, watching his best friend nearly die time and again. - Really at this point Eddie just wants him safe, and if telling him about Christopher is what will do the trick, then he is not above playing dirty.

Eddie is telling Buck, you are my partner, you are Christopher's second parent, I love you, Christopher loves you, I don’t know what I’d do without you. - Because Eddie has been without Buck before and he was completely lost. - And that’s before they became even more intertwined as they are now. 

I love the second before Buck and Eddie enter, Eddie’s house, before Buck opens the door, Eddie looks like he’s steeling himself to get in and Buck has a knowing grin on his face, somewhere between ‘ready?’ and ‘they’re happy you’re back be nice.’ 👀😂

I hated the jump forward, but everyone standing on the roof looking good and Eddie with those sunglasses? wow!! 🥵🤩

This was an all out buddie episode, and I was totally there for it!! I really hope for many more, because these two give me life!!

[kalinara]

So, recently I found myself thinking about Teen Wolf, specifically the MTV show from the early 2010s.  And I’m reminded about how fascinated I was by the Argent family in the first three seasons of the show.

I loved the Argent family for the same reason I loved the Lightwood family in Shadowhunters.  In a lot of ways, I think they’re very similar.  Both families represent people who are raised from birth in a system in which they believe they are righteous warriors, protecting innocent people from horrible monsters, while being blind to their own prejudices and committing some truly heinous acts in the service of their “cause”.

There are differences of course.  The Argents are not part of a greater society, and do not have institutionalized power over the Hales or presumably other werewolf families (though they’re certainly good at exploiting human organizations and legal systems).  The Argents are also very clearly villains, while the Lightwoods are sometimes adversarial but contrasted with more extremist villains like Valentine.

But both families represent a theme that I find fascinating: the way that growing up in an isolated culture of violence, hate and extremism can warp an individual and the ways that they might overcome it or not.

Honestly, Teen Wolf as a show was always more complex and layered than I think it’s given credit for.  It didn’t always deliver on what it was trying to say, but there were a lot of interesting ideas.

So anyway, the Argents fascinated me from day one, because there were some very interesting layers.  We had Kate, and later Gerard, who were the complete monsters.  We had Chris and Victoria as more noble demons.  And then we had Allison, who was the complete innocent in all of this.

And actually, it’s the fact that Allison WAS innocent that got my attention.  Because that says something really interesting about Chris and Victoria.  We know, at least in retrospect, that the Argent family are fanatics who raise their hunters very young.  The little that the show told us about Chris and Kate’s upbringing is pretty horrifying.  Gerard was raising weapons, not children.  We can probably assume Victoria’s upbringing was similar.

(At least going by her death: she’d clearly bought into the Argent mindset by that point, even though she’d met at least one non-malevolent werewolf at that point.)

Allison was clearly taught skills useful for the hunt: marksmanship, gymnastics, et cetera.  But they never told her about werewolves.  They never told her about what they did.  And until Kate’s death, they’d had no contact with Gerard.  In their very flawed way, I think they were genuinely trying to protect their daughter and give her something better than they knew.

A lot of this didn’t become clear until Gerard’s arrival.  Before Gerard’s arrival, it was easy to see the Argent family as a group of fallen Knight Templars.  They’re extremists, but ones with a cause that might, once upon a time, been worthwhile (at least when we look at monsters like Peter Hale) and still possessing a remnant of a code of honor.  Kate was portrayed as the outlier, based on Chris’s disgust at her deeds, and the willingness of Victoria and Chris to leave Scott alone at the end of the first season.

But then, in season 2, we meet Gerard.  And it becomes clear that Chris and Victoria, with their antiquated code of honor, are the actual outliers, at least in the modern Argent family.

This doesn’t mean that Chris and Victoria are good people at this point.  They’re not.  They still hunt.  They were still complicit in Gerard’s actions.  But there are clear lines drawn here.

I remember being really surprised when Chris pulled the gun on Scott at the beginning of season 2.  It seemed like a direct contradiction to his and Victoria’s resigned acceptance at the end of season 1.  But then it makes more sense when we see Gerard’s arrival at Kate’s funeral.  Chris and Victoria were probably never going to be happy with their daughter dating a werewolf, but if they truly hated the boy, they’d have just told Gerard what he was.  Instead, they spend most of that hilariously awkward family dinner lying through their teeth.

I think Victoria often gets the shaft when folks discuss the Argent family.  She seems to get labeled as the same kind of monster as Kate and Gerard, while Chris is recognized as a more complex character.  I don’t think that’s fair.  For the most part, Chris and Victoria are a united team, working on the same page.  They both had the same potential to turn on Gerard and become a reluctant ally to Scott and the team.  It’s just that Victoria went one way, succumbing to fear and desperation, choosing to sacrifice Scott to save Allison, and it doomed her.

Chris went the other, and he became an ally.  I hesitate to call his arc a redemption arc, at least at this point, because I'm not sure I think Chris is capable of true remorse for his past decisions.  He’s not really wired like that.  He can recognize that the Argent code was flawed, and certainly that Gerard and Kate crossed the line, but I’m not sure he could ever really acknowledge how cruelly he treated Scott or the other victims of the hunt.  

To be fair, I’ve only seen bits and pieces of the series after season 3, so it’s possible that I’m wrong about that.

So I don’t think Chris has a redemption arc, per se.  But he does actively choose to become better.  Mostly because of Allison.  Because as terrible a father as he can be sometimes (and the Argents were TERRIBLE parents), he does love her and he wants to become the person his daughter wants him to be.  And we see that best of all in that moment when Allison rewrites the code.  CHRIS may not be truly redeemable, per se, but the family can.

At least until Allison’s death.  

I stopped watching the show regularly after they killed Allison.  It’s not that I disliked the other characters.  They were great.  Kira and Scott are adorable.  Derek was slowly starting to turn into a character that didn’t annoy the shit out of me.  I love what I’ve seen of Malia and Lydia’s development.

But my investment was in the Argent storyline, and that really died with Allison.  Chris was still around, and I was glad to see that because he’s still my favorite, and he continued to be a willing and ready ally to Scott, which makes me happy. But he’s basically lost his narrative significance.  There’s no Argent clan to be redeemed anymore, just one broken soldier with a tangential involvement in Scott’s adventures, who gets an unexpected happy ending with Scott’s mother.  (which is an amazing IDEA, but as others have mentioned, there're a lot of missed opportunities with that set up.)

It’s a good, fun show, that I will sit down and finish in full one day.  But I’ll always regret the loss of my favorite element.  Oh well.  There’s always fanfic.  Assuming I can wade through the 16 billion Stiles and Sterek fics to find it.  :-D

[cindersassasin]

“A Tiny Bit”

Yesterday the crew had succeeded in stopping the royal wedding. While having a conversation with Kai, Cinder realizes that if she really wants him to trust her, she must tell him everything, even if telling him everything meant admitting to something she tried to hide for a long time. 

Word Count: 1,899

Read on AO3

Here, have some long-awaited-badly-written Kaider fluff.

taglist: @arushahisatroll @cerenoya @addies-invisible-life @salt-warrior  @winterrhayle @elysian-starbucks-frappe @starry-tea-party @cindersnightmare @strawberry-seraph @cinderswrench @shellyseashell (let me know to be added or removen !)

Cinder had been sitting on the cold floor of the cargo bay for the past two hours. Frustrated at her inability to come up with the remaining details of their plan, she began to reach for her left arm to toy around with her glove, before remembering that she had left them in the pod ship dock the day before. She was yet to get accustomed to not wearing them full-time, and the sudden dependency on them was starting to get on her nerves. Cinder assumed that her attachment to the gloves was due to the many years she relied on them to hide herself. They naturally became a part of her, a coat of protection against the people who would defy her for being cyborg.

It was ironic that the same thing that had given her a sense of protection, had also given her a constant reminder: she was not normal, and should she reveal her true identity to the world, she would not be accepted.  

But Cinder no longer had a reason to hide herself. There was no reason for her to panic whenever she caught a glimpse of her metal hand from the corner of her eye. She shouldn’t be relying on her gloves anymore.  

Nevertheless, her work gloves had become a big part of her over the years, whether she liked it or not. It was not surprising she had developed that minor habit. Cinder most often toyed with the hem of her glove when she was nervous or stressed, and that’s exactly how she felt at the moment. Nervous of the outcome should their plan to start a revolution fails. Stressed about not being entirely sure how that plan looks like.

Cinder stood up from the floor and paced around the cargo bay, letting out shallow breaths to ease her distress. She had to be positive. Everything has been going according to plan so far, and even if they find themselves encountering a few obstacles, they always end up succeeding.  

But staying positive was not an easy task when she remembered that Levana was still out there. That her army was out there.

“I was looking for you.”

Cinder looked over her shoulder and felt her heart skipping when she saw who was standing in the doorway.

It was Kai.

He was still wearing the same clothing from the day before. A quick glance at his wrinkled finery and messy black hair was enough for all her memories to flood right back. The brief argument they have had after Kai awoke aboard the Rampion. The shocked expression that grew on Kai’s face when she confessed to being the lost princess. The air of relief that engulfed him knowing that she was safe. The way his coppery eyes dilated as he took her in. The way his lips met hers with not a single sign of disgust or restraint.

The kiss had been so peculiar yet almost natural, despite having never being kissed before. Despite her efforts, she couldn’t shake the feeling of familiarity and comfort when being cradled against him. It terrified her.

Gaining back conscience, she soon realized that she had been staring at him this whole time. He had been staring right back.  

Cinder walked towards him and released an awkward chuckle, hoping to release the ongoing tension. She tucked her hands in her pockets in attempt to hide the sudden fluster that was crawling under her skin.

“You were?”

“Yeah. I just needed to talk to someone.”

“Well,” Cinder assured, “Here I am.”

He grinned. Even though his smiles never failed to make her insides stir, his eyes seemed to be portraying something totally different. Until then, she had not noticed the sadness they contained or the darker shade under his eyes.  “Hey...are you...okay?”

His expression faltered and she soon regretted saying anything. Before she could apologize, though, he let out a small sigh and glanced down at the floor. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just processing.”

Kai suddenly jogged her memory and guilt submerged her. Cinder felt selfish for forgetting about the huge bomb they had dropped on Kai that morning. She grimaced as she recalled the growing fury on his face when they had told him what Dr. Erland had discovered concerning Letumosis. He had suspected that Levana had kept the antidote from him for a long time, but he had not expected her to have had it for years. To have had been developing it before the disease even existed.  

“I’m sorry.”  

“You don’t have to apologize. It was just hard to process. But now it all makes sense,” he responded, meeting her gaze. “She’s a monster. I don’t know how she does it, Cinder.”

"I honestly don’t even know how she can live with herself.”

Kai looked as if he was about to burst. “No wonder she hates mirrors.”

A hearty laugh escaped Cinder’s mouth and Kai did not hold back from joining in. The change of mood made that moment much more enjoyable and she was soon satisfied with making it last. Finally, they both put their hands over their mouths to compose themselves and silence engulfed them once again. Cinder bit her lip and looked away. “I just hope our plan to defeat her works.”  

Kai reached for her hand and chuckled. “I know it will work.”

She looked back at him in surprise. “How are you so sure? I haven’t even told you the whole plan.”

“Oh, please. You always find a way to make things work. You have never failed to amaze me with all the crazy things you pull of.”

A weak smile touched Cinder’s lips before once again looking away. She was sure that he had meant that as a compliment, but somehow the thought of how powerful she was becoming made her feel like she was becoming more like Levana.

“Anyways, I actually wanted to... talk to you about something.”

Cinder met his gaze. “Oh?”

“Well, I was just thinking about...us,” he admitted.

She took her hand away from his grip, startled. “Us?”

Kai ran his fingers through his hair and looked away briefly. “I mean- what happened yesterday.” He hesitated, before continuing, “between us.” He held his hand toward her, and she didn’t hesitate to take it. “I was just so relieved to know that everything about you wasn’t a lie.”  

Cinder did her best to suppress the sudden giddiness forming inside her. It was something she had never felt before. She urged herself to stop, but the feeling persisted.

“Now that we have told each other everything,” Kai continued, “I hope we don’t find the need to keep anything else. Maybe we can even talk about, possibly-” he let out an awkward laugh, signs of his usual confidence lacking. “Being a- you know. Being a thing.” He bit his lip and ran his fingers through his hair before looking away. “Or not- you know. I mean, I might be getting the wrong-”

An almost maniacal laugh escaped Cinder’s lips. It had been so abrupt she felt like she nearly chocked on her own saliva. Even Kai was caught completely off-guard, as he looked back at her with troubled eyes and a shade of crimson growing on his cheeks. She was about to tease him about what a huge dork he was when he was flustered before her thoughts focused on something Kai had just said.  

“Now that we have told each other everything, I hope we don’t find the need to keep anything else.”

The truth was, she hadn’t told him everything - she had never been direct with him about her feelings toward him. Cinder never thought she had to, but if she wanted him to trust her, she had to confess to that one secret. That one secret that she had always assumed was just a crazy fantasy she had fabricated in her head.  

She turned away from him and walked towards the window, catching a glimpse of the blue planet. “Do you remember when we promised each other that there would be no more secrets between us? And that if I had anything to tell you- I would?”

“I do...why?”

She let out a heavy sigh and hesitated. “It’s just, there is this one thing I didn’t tell you and I... don’t want to keep anymore secrets from you, that’s all,” she started, her eyes focusing on the look of concern that was growing on Kai’s face from the reflection.  

“What is it?”

Cinder bit the inside of her cheek as she turned around and walked towards him. She couldn’t help but glance at his lips before meeting his gaze once again. She tried to speak, but was unable to form the words in her mouth. She urged herself to simply confess to him all the love and admiration she had kept under wraps for too long, but her mouth was dry. No words seemed right.  

She wanted so badly to not have to say a thing, and to just run into his arms and be held. Hoping that with just that, he would understand. And he would.

But that’s not what he wanted.  

That’s not what he deserved.  

She had promised him that there would be no more secrets between them. And she would keep her word.  

“I think I might be a tiny bit in love with you,” she mumbled. She quickly glanced down at the floor, not wanting to see his expression. The subtle movement made her hair fall on her face, and hiding under it was somehow comforting. Almost reluctantly, she looked up at him once more, and under her curtain of hair, was met with the most affectionate smile she had ever seen. Before she could say anything, he brushed her bangs out of her face. Cupping one of her cheeks, he captured her eyes with the same warmth as the day they had met at the marketplace. Cinder felt a jolt of electricity expand throughout her body as he leaned in and pulled her into his embrace, wrapping one of his arms around her waist.  

And before Cinder could react, Kai was kissing her.

It was a kiss so soft and breathy, yet so passionate and filled with longing. It was almost like a dance, with his lips leading hers to the beat of a melody. The kiss was sweet, so effortlessly sweet, yet it was undeniably infused with yearning and lust. He lightly began to caress her cheek with his thumb as her arms instinctively found their way from his shoulders to around his neck. She discarded the warnings popping up in her vision and brought herself closer, fusing their bodies together. Kai broke the kiss and pulled away slightly, still holding her tightly around her waist, and met her gaze. Cinder felt his warm breath against her skin as it paralyzed her in place.

For a moment, she was speechless. This moment felt too...perfect.

It was perfect.  

She realized that she could stay here, bottled up in his arms, forever.  

“Kai?”

“I think I might be a tiny bit in love with you too,” he said, with a tenderness in his voice that made her heart swoon.  

“Just a tiny bit?” She teased.  

She noticed Kai’s ears going pink as he rolled his eyes and then gave her a charismatic smile. “Just a tiny bit.”

-------

wow, this fic almost felt like a meme at this point (because I never posted it) 

thank you for taking your time to read, and although im very aware I suck at writing, writing this was really enjoyable and I am just so happy. I will get better I promise !!!11 (: 

[azucanela]

1. FAKE DATING / ENGAGEMENT | TODOROKI SHOUTO

1K CELEBRATION MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: Dating his publicist out of pure practicality had been a pretty good bad idea, continuing to date his publicist because he was beginning to enjoy the perks of his —albeit fake— relationship was an ever better bad idea. Proposing to said publicist because he wanted to anger his father was just a bad idea in general, but hey, the look on Endeavor’s face was worth it.  

WORD COUNT: 2.7k

WARNINGS: kissing, enji todoroki deserves a warning, t

A/N: hehe shoto and a two for one

It had started out as something to piss off his father, if Shouto was honest. 

Shouto was now an upcoming Pro Hero that was rising through the charts, and Enji had been trying to mend his relationship with the rest of his family for a while now. This was something Fuyumi strongly supported seeing as she’d suggested hosting a weekly family dinner ever since Shouto was in his second year at UA. 

He hated those dinners if he was honest, but Shouto attended them out of courtesy for his sister. Natsuo wasn’t as polite as he could’ve been but Shouto found it entertaining to watch as he made several passive aggressive comments, much to Fuyumi’s dismay.

Shouto couldn’t help but feel the need to defy his father as well, in his own way. Which is why he brought along Y/N L/N, a young, quirkless, businesswoman he’d met during his second year at UA. She’d gotten into the the UA business course, and now served as a publicist on his team. Asking her to pretend to be his girlfriend was a rather... difficult task, but he managed to convince her fairly easily since they were close friends and she seemed to notice how much his father pestered him. Inviting her to one of these weekly dinners had probably been the biggest mistake he’d ever made.

That dinner had a lot of tension. 

As far as the Todoroki Family knew, Shouto had been dating Y/N for two years, and things were very serious between the two. Which is probably the reason why Enji felt the need to retaliate by beginning to invite other young Pro Heroes to the dinners, ones that seemed to have an interest in Shouto. Shortly after that, Y/N began to attend the weekly dinners more frequently, and Shouto had a feeling he was in too far when they kissed for the first time and he enjoyed it. 

Now, Shouto always had a feeling that Enji disliked Y/N, but he’d never outright expressed those feelings. Until now, that is.

“Excuse me?” 

Enji brought a hand to his temple as he inhaled deeply, “Shouto, you can’t tell me you intend to spend your life with your quirkless publicist.” 

Shouto scoffed at his words, eyes cold as he met Enji’s stare, “that’s what this is about? The fact that she’s quirkless? You can’t be serious.”

This was supposed to be a nice little family vacation, something Fuyumi had once again suggested. Shouto had brought along Y/N, feeling that he owed her some sort of enjoyable experience for putting her through the hell that was his family. It was a nice beach house, large enough that she could easily avoid his family while enjoying the perks of the it all. Not that Y/N needed to avoid his family, Natsuo and Fuyumi actually liked her quite a bit, Enji on the other hand? Well, this seemed to be Enji Todoroki’s version of an intervention.

“Shouto, you have potential-”

The room grows as cold as Shouto glares, “Y/N is one of the most impressive people I know, and if you think the fact that she’s quirkless discredits anything she’s done, then you haven’t changed at all.” He practically slams his glass onto the table beside him as he rises from his seat, heading towards the exit of the room. 

“This conversation isn’t over Shouto.”

No, it was done, very, very, very done. Because Shouto already had a plan. A very irrational, illogical, reckless plan that would likely prove to be a very big mistake.

Y/N on the other hand, had just gotten started on her daily routine. Stretching her arms above the bed she and Shouto had been forced to share in order to keep up the illusion that they were a couple. Though he’d already woken up it appeared, normally they’d both still be in bed, seeing as this was a vacation. Y/N didn’t mind sharing a bed with him if she was honest, in fact, Shouto was the perfect person to sleep beside because of his quirk. 

She didn’t mind any of this arrangement, and maybe that was a problem. 

The last thing Y/N had expected from Shouto was a request for a fake girlfriend, he’d explained how he though he should probably inform her of his plan seeing as she was his publicist. Y/N had been in shock as he continued to say he had a few people he was thinking about asking, only for Y/N to shut down the idea entirely. 

There were far too many variables, what if the person he selected exposed him for the false relationship later on in his career, what if they were bad at keeping secrets, what if they weren’t up for all the false acts of love, even worse what if they did fall in love with him?

Shouto saw the solution as having Y/N become his fake girlfriend.

And for some reason, Y/N found herself agreeing. Because she would never expose the fact that the relationship had been a lie the whole time, not when it was her job to preserve Shouto’s image. And she was perfectly okay with false displays of affection, she would surely never fall in love with Shouto Todoroki. He was her boss, and her close friend, developing feelings for him, or anyone else for that matter, just wasn’t in her cards.  

She kinda sorta failed. 

Now, Fuyumi would not stop giving her false hope, speaking of how she’d never seen Shouto so happy, how she was jealous of the way he looked at her when she wasn’t paying attention, the girl had even suggested that Shouto would propose soon.

If only she knew that this entire relationship was a petty lie, made to get back at the Pro Hero Endeavor for his not so subtle attempts at finding Shouto a partner that would likely create a... powerful grandchild to say the least. Y/N just so happened to be the most convenient person to anger the man, seeing as she was quirkless and all. 

Y/N was too busy glaring at the ceiling to hear the door unlock, lost in her thoughts, though she didn’t fail to hear the sound of the door slamming shut. Raising her brow, Y/N shifted in the bed to face the door to the room she and Shouto had claimed, which could be compared to a hotel suite. 

Shouto had moved straight to the dresser across from the bed, where his wallet, keys and a discarded tie from the dinner reservations they’d attended last night, were. Y/N propped herself up on her forearms in an attempt to get a better look at him as he grabbed his wallet and keys, shoving them into his pockets. “Shouto what are you doing?” 

He turned around almost instantly, and Y/N didn’t fail to notice the crease between his brows, though it disappeared almost instantly when he saw her. “Did I wake you?” Was his response, voice quiet as he watched her.

“You didn’t answer my question, Sho.” 

He’s silent for a moment, and Y/N wonders if he’s simply ignoring her question, though he moves closer to the bed, and Y/N watches as he takes a seat at the edge of it. “I’m going out.” 

“Can I come?” Y/N is sitting up, just for Shouto to grab her shoulder and gently push her back down.

There’s a small smile on his face as he shakes his head, “go back to bed.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, bringing her hand over his, “I happen to like hanging out with you.” She averts his gaze, which is now fixated on her, “also your family scares me.”

She can see him frown from the corner of her eyes, and Y/N is about to assure him that she’s joking, when his interlocks with his, removing them from her shoulder and laying them down in her lap as he practically examines them. The intimate action distracts her, though it’s become more frequent for Shouto to do things like this even when they are alone. Shouto’s hands are fidgeting with her own when he finally speaks, “do I scare you?” And he sounds almost scared of what her reply might be.

“No.” The answer comes without thought, and immediately after the question leaves his mouth, causing Shouto to look back up at her. “Never.”

Shouto’s eyes meet hers and Y/N can’t really decipher the look on his face, but that doesn’t really matter since his hands drop hers as he brings them to her face, only to pull her into a kiss. 

It was by no means the first time they’d kissed, but it was definitely different. The first kiss was practically oozing hesitation, gentleness, and it was purely because Enji hadn’t stopped glaring at Y/N the entire night she’d been at the dinner table. This was harsh, firm, as though he had something to prove. Y/N can feel the anger he was radiating when he entered the room, but the weirdest part of the kiss is how intimate it was. Because they’d never been in private when they kissed, everything was public, to portray the likeness of a real couple.

Y/N can’t help it when her hands find their way to Shouto’s arms, gripping them tightly as she kisses back with equal fervor. This only seems to encourage Shouto’s sudden action as he gently lays her back onto the bed, one hand slipping behind her to her back, pressing her body closer to his. Y/N’s hand begins to move up his arm and to the nape of his neck, threading into Shouto’s hair as she pulls him closer.

This was very different.

Shouto pulls away, head moving to her neck to press a kiss against it before exhaling deeply as they remained like that for a moment, before Shouto separated himself from her, “I’ll be back.”

Y/N is still laying in the bed in shock at what just happened, but when she hears the door close, she finds herself feeling tempted to scream into her pillow because what the hell just happened? There was no reason to be so... intimate in the privacy of their room, and Shouto seemed to be seething with anger when he initially entered. And there was only one thing that could’ve set Shouto off.

His father, they must’ve had a conversation already, but so early in the morning? Y/N hadn’t seen Shouto so angry since... ever.  Now, if Shouto was honest he didn’t know what possessed him to head to the jeweler he saw on their way to the beach, but here he was. Was Shouto prepared to propose purely because his father had insinuated that his —fake— relationship wouldn’t last? Yes. Did he potentially have actual feelings for Y/N? Shouto wasn’t sure. He’d never been in an actual relationship, but he’d also never felt this way.

It was horrifying. The way his heart seemed to pick up speed whenever she was around, the way his right side, the side that created ice, seemed to heat up. Or the odd flutter in his stomach whenever she smiled at him, the way he never wanted to let go once she wrapped her arms around him. 

Maybe proposing wasn’t the best idea, proposing without informing Y/N he intended to propose was probably an even worse idea, but Shouto wasn’t really thinking as he made his unlocked the door of the beach house. 

Looking back on it, he definitely should’ve told Y/N but the look on his father’s face, the pure astonishment‚ and maybe even disgust, was fantaastic Along with the claps and cheers from the strangers on the boardwalk, the support from his siblings, well it was worth it. Worth the anger that Y/N was now displaying, very clearly. She didn’t seem to mind earlier when he’d gotten down on one knee, in fact, she’d started crying, though Shouto supposed this was just another part of their act. God, he wished it wasn’t an act. 

“Shouto, what the hell was that?” 

She’d forced him to take a seat on the bed they’d spoken on earlier, and though Shouto probably should’ve been paying more attention to her words, his eyes had been glued to her hand, particularly her ring finger. “A proposal.”

“Yes! A proposal we did not discuss, at all, might I add.” Y/N ran her fingers through her hair, tugging at the roots as she inhaled deeply, “Shouto you don’t just, propose to someone out of nowehere—”

His brows furrow at this, “my understanding was that most proposals are spontaneous.”

Y/N groans, turning away from him momentarily in a last ditch attempt to collect herself. If Y/N was honest, she was finding herself getting more and more caught up in their lies, when he got down on one knee, she almost forgot that everything between them was fake.

Almost. 

“Yes, that’s true.” She mumbles, turning back to face him, “however, that’s for real couples. Every aspect of this relationship is planned because this isn’t a relationship, it’s more like— like a contract. And we agreed to have a fake break up within the next two months.” She vividly recalled the discussion, Shouto had randomly become distant, avoiding her calls despite the fact that it was her job to speak within him. When he’d finally approached her, he told her they needed to plan their break up soon.

The only part of this relationship that wasn’t planned or staged was probably that moment they had together earlier that day. 

Shouto isn’t saying anything, in fact, he looks rather deep in thought, and Y/N can’t help the frustration that bubbles up inside her as she stares at him, awaiting a response. “Shouto, are you even listening to me?”

His eyes flicker upwards, meeting hers. Y/N can see them soften, and the look on his face effectively halts her pacing. Shouto takes this as a chance to grab her hand, rubbing gentle circles onto it as he speaks, “I’m always listening to you.” He shuts his eyes temporarily, breathing deeply before looking back up at her, “what if I don’t want us to plan things anymore?”

Y/N finds herself feeling breathless as she replies, “what?” She clears her throat, “what do you mean, Shouto?”

“I don’t want to plan things.” He repeats, fingers toying with the ring she now dawned on her left hand, eyes fixated on the jewel that Y/N had a feeling was ridiculously expensive. “And I don’t want a contract.”

Confusion floods Y/N as she watches him, nothing he did today had made sense. That moment on the bed that he’d initiated, the proposal, this. Shouto just wasn’t making sense and Y/N was becoming desperate, desperate to understand what exactly he was trying to say. “Then what do you want?”

He’s silent for a moment, contemplating his next words, Shouto wonders if she feels the same way. But he’d once made a promise to her, to be honest and transparent throughout this entire arrangement they had, and Shouto kept his promises, especially if they were to her. 

So he replied, “you.” Looking up at Y/N, he could see the shock, the confusion on her face, “I want you.” He straightens in his seat on the bed, “for real.” 

He expects her to tear her hand from his, maybe rip the ring off her finger and throw it at him. Perhaps it’s dramatic, but he also expects her to ridicule him for desiring her, for wanting an actual relationship. It wouldn’t be in Y/N’s nature, he knows this, but maybe a brutal rejection would make it hurt less. 

Instead, Y/N nods slowly, allowing a shaky breath to escape her as she brings her hands to his face, “guess I’m marrying into quite the family.” She mumbles, before pressing her lips to his.

This is good. Yeah, this was good.

A/N: yeah idk kasdkashd this is unedited so oops if its bad

TAGLISTS[lmk if you want to be added or removed via asks or replies]

BNHA: @beifongsss​ @shawkneecaps​

[whitetrashjj]

crying my eyes out at your MLA format essays cuz not every queer storyline in media has to be rooted in angst of coming out. i get some of the points you’re trying to make. i also don’t think the show is queerbaiting but jjpope had just as much “evidence” as jiara had. like please explain why jj was so keen on kiara liking john b just cuz she kissed him on the cheek and then went and kissed pope’s cheek?…. like in jj’s mind a cheek kiss means liking someone and he did that to pope. also there ARE shots of jj’s lingering gaze towards pope lets us not lie here lmao. i get that you’re sick of people calling u homophobic i dont think u are for not shipping jjpope i also dont think the show is queerbaiting at all but you go on about “storytelling povs” and “lack of critical thinking” when YOUR critical thinking is literally biased as hell 😭 u can ship jiara all u want but jj and kiara, ESPECIALLY KIARA, are both very much queer coded and if u gonna say they’re not bc of some cheesy sTorYtELLiNg bullshit that u probably learned from a youtube video then you’re just biased to your ship.

You know why I have to write those 'essays'? Cause I get asks like this that brush over a bunch of different topics and I want to make sure I not only address every part of it but also make sure I'm making my pov very clear so I don't have people misinterpreting what I say - even though they still do - or accuse me about random bitching without and reasons or justification. Anyway get ready to do some crying cause you are getting another essay.

I know not every queer storyline has to be rooted in the angst of coming out. I wish there were more that weren't. It's the reason I loved booksmart so much. It's one of the reasons I love Dare Me, because that show had sapphic leads and while their relationship was at the core of the show. It wasn't the fact that they were queer that was focused on. Oh god I could rant about Dare Me forever.

Now my point with JJ and Pope is that we don't get the impression that the boys are currently out as queer. JJ from the start was set up as a bit of a womaniser, a bit girl mad - it would have been very easy to make that gender neutral if he was bi, as I headcanon. With Pope it's the same, I personally view him as gay, but if he was bi/pan it would have been easy to show him like that as we see him attempting to flirt on two occasions. Now this isn't to say that in future seasons they can switch it up as if it was always canon, like they did with Clarke in the 100. My point however, isn't to say that JJ and Pope releasing their sexualities and feelings has to be filled with angst, the example I gave can very easily be played a bit cutely - even if they do address the internalised homophobia that I'm just sure would effect a character like JJ - but just that based on my experiences as a queer person and what I know to be experiences of others that it would realistically play out differently to how it would with a m/f couple. Even then when to comes to friends to lovers in general the removal of physical intimacy when that tension starts to build out of awkwardness is common, it doesn’t play out the same way that ships like JB and Sarah do in which they increase in physical intimacy. 

I didn't bring jiara into this. I didn't go out comparing jjpope and their interactions to jiara, I was simply speaking to how jjpope's relationship was portrayed. In terms of 'evidence' I am more than aware the jiara wasn't written to be a developing romance, anything there was created by what the fans saw and choices made by the editors. But it is also a canon fact that at the very least JJ is attracted to Kie, that all the pogues 'kinda have a thing for her' and that he has 'tried' something with her. Even if the intention of those things wasn't to build to a relationship - they did happen and that's not up for interpretation. I'm not gonna bring up the 'did you tell JJ?' thing cause it still confuses the hell out of me.

The thing with the cheek kisses is that it's not the action in itself that made it a romantic thing. A handshake can build romantic tension when framed that way but that doesn't make every hand shake in that piece of media suddenly romantic, make sense? If you compare the two scenes we have the build up of Kie walking up to John B, a close up of a lingering cheek kiss, the pull back with lingering looks and then the reactions of others who have observed it and picked up on something. It frames it as a significant moment with slow beats. That's how you build romantic tension. With the JJPope one it just flows past it, JJ pulls back from the hug, a quick peck on the check and a 'love you too man' with a smirk and pat on the check. We don't even have a second of Pope's reaction to it. Do you see what I mean?

You can love that moment as a shipper. I mean it's a great moment that really highlights their dynamic. To you it's a dynamic that you see and think oh this would play out so well romanticly, it's a dynamic I see and think oh I love their friendship. Each of those are valid reactions. But it isn't a moment that has been intentionally framed to build romantic tension and suggest a budding relationship.

Darl, I swear to god if I was coming to you with my shipping bias' this would be a very different conversation. I know I will always have them and I will lean into them when I'm on vc with shes, theys and gays and we are getting lost in headcanons but I do my best take a step back when I talk about these things here because I've been in fandoms when you have two extremes and no one relents and it's awful, I don't want to create that space. And once again, I did not bring jiara into this. My original post was not a comparison to jiara.

I am very curious about your perspective on queer coding here. Because yes, JJ has chaotic bi energy and I will die on this hill. But I do not see how he has been queer coded. Other than people seeing a man being physically affectionate with another men and insist that can't be platonic. As with Kie I can see it more, not for a second do I believe that what went on with Kie and Sarah was straight. And I desperately want to see Maddie play Kie as pan to rep her own very underrepresented sexuality! And in terms of how she's written, stuff like being an astrology bitch and environmentalist scream queer to us, I do think it is important to note that the writers of the show being who they are would necessarily have the same impression of what a queer womans traits would be. In regards to that scene in ep 1 where they have the hot touron girl and then JJ, JB and Kie all perking up and doing the nod thing? I don't think anyone has a straight explanation for that.

The 'sTorYtELLiNg bullshit that u probably learned from a youtube video' comment made me laugh cause it reminds me of this guy I had a fight with on the weekend over Remus and Sirius being queer and he decided to undermine my argument by saying 'just because you read it on reddit doesn't make it true' which... yike. Any way, maybe you do but I don't have the tolerance to sit down and watch a youtube video on someone analysing a show. All my interpretations come from years of writing actual essays analysing elements and themes in media. As well as having a keen interest in direction and editing, so I pay a lot of attention to those things and you start to notice patterns. In terms of credentials I don't have any but I do think these 'essays' do an alright job of me not only explaining my interpretation but why. Because I'm not someone to just say things and expect that to just be accepted or think that is makes it true.

[insertdeeplyrics]

On the ending of Supernatural

Hi, I’ve never actually posted anything on Tumblr of my own creation (I mostly reblog stuff), but I’ve just seen the ending of Supernatural, and given that this is where I’ve been fed my SPN content, it felt right to share my thoughts here. I’m sure nobody is going to read this, but whatever, I just need to get this out of my chest. Sorry in advance if this is too long, but I have to type this out if I want to move on.

I still need to take some time to process everything that’s happened, because it is a lot. I did have my hopes up for the finale, thinking that Cas would at least show up, but like many of the fans, I was let down.

So I guess that would be the first issue I had with the episode. Regardless of what Dean felt towards Cas, if he reciprocated his feelings or not (which he totally did, I mean, we have all been watching the same show for 12 fucking years, and if you don’t believe me, there are plenty of metas that would support this statement), he still is his best friend and it doesn’t sit right with me the fact that he doesn’t even try to find a way to rescue Cas from the Empty. And okay, maybe he didn’t, make Cas got resurrected by Jack, then why the hell wasn’t he on the final episode? He was a pivotal character for the series, I mean, the proof is in the ratings: Season 7, when he was killed off to apparently never return, the ratings were at their lowest. The show may have started as just Dean and Sam, but over the years it became much bigger than them, and it is so disappointing that the show runners failed to acknowledge it. But I’ll get back to this point later.

Okay, I need to talk about Dean’s death, the only part of the episode that made me cry, because my poor baby had to suffer so much! Like, when he started saying that Sam never put up with John’s crap (which reinforces my headcanon that John was abusive towards the boys) and how much he admired him for it, my heart just shattered. I just love Dean Winchester so freaking much, and they did him so dirty... Don’t get me wrong, Jensen and Jared’s acting was 10/10, like, I thought I had a grip of myself and then Sam started crying and tears came back to my eyes. Nonetheless, I felt that the scene was so freaking long! I mean, Dean was dying, and he had time to make a 10 minutes-long speech! C’mon! Also, I get that Sam and Dean’s relationship is quite deep and strong and whatever, but I felt a bit unconformable watching it: it didn’t feel like a brotherly goodbye, more like a lover’s one. They were too touchy and intimate, and, overall, their relationship from this point on was coded as a romantic one, in my opinion. And Chuck, did I hate it! I have an older brother and I know what it is like to be close to your sibling and to love him more than anything else in the world, but the way they portrayed their relationship on this last episode felt incest-y, which makes me believe that this scene was originally written with another character in mind (cough CAS cough) or the writers don’t know the difference between romantic and brotherly love. To finish off, the way they killed off Dean??? I mean, I did expect Dean to die, but this was such a horrible and ridiculous way to go... I would have accepted it if he died actually fighting, but impaled??? After all he’s been through, after fighting so many demons, angels and deities, that’s how he dies??? That just felt cheap and rushed. Dean did not deserve that ending and I refuse to accept it. In fact, I refuse to acknowledge the existence of this whole fucking mess of an episode. Also, I just can’t believe that no one showed up to Dean’s funeral. I just can’t. I get that maybe it was difficult to bring in a lot of actors due to the pandemic, but they could have added them on post-production...

Next, we have Sam’s ending. He quits hunting and finally obtains his white-picket fence life. I did like the fact that he honored all of his friends and family that he lost along the way, especially Dean. Like, yes, if my brother died, I would like to keep a token (don’t know if that’s the actual word for it, my first language is not English), to have something with me that reminded me of him and to have him with me wherever I go. And I did like that he named his son Dean, in honor of his brother. However, we don’t know how he met his wife, we don’t even know who she is. They set up Sameileen for what?? Like, Sam and Eileen deserved better, tbh. And, again, even with Covid restrictions they could have done something to signal that Sam got married to Eileen, you don’t need the actor there. In fact, we never actually found out what happened to her, and just like I can’t believe that Dean didn’t even try to save Cas from the Empty, I can’t believe that Sam didn’t reach out to Eileen. Furthermore, the montage with his son felt cheap and a way to try to appeal to the audience’s emotions... (Btw, as a side note, the grey wig and the glasses, my god, they did Jared dirty 😂😂). But it wasn’t doing it for me, I didn’t care much for the kid, and while I do believe that was always going to be Sam’s ending, I didn’t like how it was executed.

And the worst part of it all: that suuuuuper long scene with Dean driving in Heaven, waiting for Sam. They could have used that time to show something more meaningful, even to develop a bit more Sam’s new life, how he adjusted to domesticity and fatherhood and all that crap. Or, I don’t know, A TEAM FREE WILL 2.0 REUNION??? And I guess this is my biggest issue with the whole episode. I get it, Sam and Dean are the central characters, the ones that started it all, but family don’t end with blood, and they were not the only ones who deserved a goodbye. They had formed so many bonds and friendships over the years, and to not have them address them on the final episode just feels infuriating. Especially Cas. His arc was not finished, he deserved to be on the finale. We never got Dean’s reaction to his confession, we don’t know how he felt about him, nor did Cas get to say goodbye to any other character. How did he get out of the Empty? What is he doing now? Is he still an angel? Also, he gave his life to save Dean, only for Dean to be killed not long after. My headcanon that is helping me cope with Dean’s death is thinking that he was so quick to accept his death because he was hoping to reunite in Heaven with Castiel. A girl can dream, ok??? But also, what about Jack? He is the new God, but I highly doubt it that he won’t drop by the Bunker from time to time, after all, Sam and Dean (AND CAS, ESPECIALLY CAS) raised him. And Charlie? Did she get back with Stevie? Did she and the boys go for drinks from time to time? And Jody? Donna? Claire? Sorry to be so repetitive, but I just can’t understand why the writers thought that these characters weren’t important enough to deserve a spot on the finale, and not just an off-hand mention (and not even all of them got that). Of course, the brothers are the main characters and their goodbye must be the longest and the most emotional of them all, but like I said before, the show stopped being just about the Winchesters on season 3, when Bobby was first introduced, maybe even 4, with Cas.

Overall, the finale left a lot of questions unanswered, most of them regarding secondary characters (but not less important for that!), completely destroyed Sam and Dean’s character development (Dean never got to be free, like he had been fighting for all season, probably all his life; Sam’s development is non-existing, as he ended up as he would’ve if he never had gotten on that hunting trip with Dean 15 years ago), and completely disregarded all the themes they had been setting up this season, probably on previous ones as well. It is sad knowing that the writers, either don’t know the show good enough to give it a proper goodbye, or they just didn’t care to do so. I don’t know who’s to blame here (definitely not the actors, though, probably someone higher up the chain), but I just know that I am so fucking disappointed. I expected more from the last episode of a 15-season TV show, one that has been part of my life for 7 years. I guess, that despite all of it, I can’t hate Supernatural. Maybe I was not a hardcore fan like some people on this site, but I did care for the characters and what happened to them. This is the show that introduced me to the world of shipping (Destiel will always hold a special place in my heart, it doesn’t matter how badly their relationship was treated, as well as the characters) and I got to discover one of my favorite characters, Dean Winchester. He is just such so complex, one that I relate to on so many levels, and his relationship with Cas has been the source of many short stories that I’ve never posted anywhere, but that have made me take up writing again. That’s the reason why I love the show so much, it has helped me tap into my creativeness and go back to writing, a passion of mine that I seem to have forgotten over the years. Anyways, maybe one day I’ll publish some of those stories, and maybe even write my own fix-it fanfic, but right now, I can’t deal with anything that has to do with the show, I am too hurt. Maybe once the five stages of grief are over, I might give it a try and read all of the amazing codas and fanfics that I’m sure will be posted here or on AO3. But for now, Supernatural is dead and gone, and I don’t want to talk nor think about it anymore. I’m done wasting my time here, because I feel like that’s what I’ve been doing this past 7 years after watching this crap of a finale.

To finish this long rant off, I just want to say thank you to some meta-writers, the true heroes of the fandom. Thanks to them, I carried on watching the show, because they made me have hope that things will get better. They are the ones that have made this experience worth something, and even though I’ve never spoken to any of them, I see you and I love you. Thanks for everything ❤. 

@tinkdw @charlie-minion @dotthings @heliodean @verobatto-angelxhunter @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover

[chat-noir-always-here]

Debunking “Adrien is perfect”

  To voice a rather non-Marinette-like opinion of Adrien: He’s not perfect. He’s never been perfect. He has, in fact, been riddled with flaws from the very beginning. Part of the reason Chat Noir gets hate is because he serves to exaggerate Adrien’s flaws and make them more obvious, destroying the perfectionism façade. And the sooner Marinette tosses the “I love the perfect Adrien” filter in the trash where it belongs, and starts actively recognizing and acknowledging his faults, the better off the endgame relationship will be.

 Long post is long and I don’t like cuts, cuz i’ve lost a few posts in the past using them. Please filter the tag “long post” I use it for walls of texts like these. 

First of all, flaws are just one of the many things that happen when someone either learns something the wrong way, spends too much time in the wrong environment, lack any decent role models... really there are a plethora of causes. What i mean is character shortcomings aren’t necessarily reasons to hate the character themselves. They’re more or less internal obstacles put there to be overcome in order to portray character growth. Of course spending an exaggerated amount of time with these characters without seeing them overcome particular shortcomings is frustrating it does not necessarily mean they will never be redeemed or developed and are/were deserving of hate.

 Except for Gabriel. That creature belongs behind bars.

 Most of Adrien’s flaws come from his toxic home situation:

The Miraculous Wiki puts Adrien at fifteen. Meaning Adrien has only been actively leaving the house (for public school and the occasional social get-together) for about a year. His fourteenth birthday was one of the earliest episodes and im assuming his fifteenth birthday happened off screen between the s3 finale and the new york special.

Regardless the majority of his life was spent in isolation and his only company was his immediate family, Nathalie, Felix and Chloe. None of whom are particularly good role models except for Emilie. Maybe.

He’s rather overworked for a 14 y.o. boy. On top of school, he has fencing, piano and Chinese lessons. This leaves him with very little time for himself. 

He lost his mother. In Feast, Adrien expresses Emilie was a source of joy in his life--”Only Mom can make me laugh like that.” Felix marked the one year anniversary of her disappearance.  Worse still, we’re led to assume all Adrien knows is that Emilie disappeared. Did she abandon him? Was she kidnapped and killed? He doesn’t know. He has no closure regarding her absence. 

On top of losing his mother, his only remaining parent is an emotionally manipulative and abusive prick. Gabriel has denied Adrien a birthday party, threatened to take Adrien out of school just because he can, never lets him have friends over for any reason, hardly ever makes time for Adrien and only once in a blue moon will actually sit and eat a meal with the poor kid.

And on top of all of this he’s not out of the woods yet. He’s still living with his abusive father. He’s still not allowed to see his friends outside of school much. He’s still got a packed schedule. He still doesn’t have closure regarding his mother’s “disappearance.”

Looking at it like this paints Adrien in a rather sympathetic light.

 Marinette doesn’t know Gabriel is Hawk Moth either, but she does understand Adrien is lonely, isolated and in need of a source of love and comfort. She also understands to some degree that his heart is delicate, so she constantly handles him with kid gloves and looks on him with a perfection filter. 

We see how Mari reacts to upsetting Adrien in Malediktator when she softly whispers an apology after Adrien expresses his sorrow over everyone celebrating Chloe’s departure. She’s seems pained and distraught over causing him to be upset. Thus the reason Marinette calls Adrien perfect isn’t that she never sees any of his flaws--she just cannot acknowledge or process them under these conditions. Shes too busy trying not to hurt him. She also has shown some signs of having extreme anxiety, which messes with ones head and makes it difficult--nearly impossible--to think straight. She wants to be the source of love and comfort he desires (and already is in a way) so his faults go unprocessed.

But what are Adrien’s flaws?

1. He has trouble standing up for himself. 

He’ll take a stand for others.

 He stood up to Chloe on Mylene’s behalf in Horrificator and on Marinette/ Cheng Sifu’s behalf in Kung Food. He stood up to Lila in Oni-chan and Ladybug. He stood up to Gabriel in Simon Says--but as Chat Noir, not Adrien. 

There have only been two-ish instances of Adrien, not Chat Noir, standing up for himself. I say -ish only because he was kinda standing up for Lila in the first and Chloe in the second. 

First in Volpina he stood up to Ladybug for how she handled the situation with Lila. He personally believed she handled the situation poorly (which she did--there were/are serious consequences for that. still) and although he was kinda wishy-washy in conveying that it was only because he was scared of sounding too much like Chat Noir. Her partner. Her chief-of-staff. Who can and will call her out on such behavior. 

Second in Malediktator, when he more or less told Marinette she was wrong to be happy about Chloe leaving. Granted this was partly him standing up for Chloe, but aside from her—he, Adrien, was deeply upset chloe was leaving on such bad terms and made sure Marinette understood that. 

Abused children tend to be somewhat submissive/agreeable/etc. They have trouble speaking out when they’re uncomfortable or don’t want something or think a particular action is wrong. Usually because they are anticipating some kind of punishment for speaking out or afraid of offending the other person to the point that said person wants nothing to do with them anymore, or both.

 For Adrien to fix this particular flaw, he needs to prioritize himself and his own wants more. However he also needs someone who doesn’t chastise him for doing things he likes, tending to his own needs and setting boundaries. Kagami is not that person--she’s actually quite demanding of him and cold. Her understanding of relationships isnt great either, which is why these two really aren’t that great for each other. 

2. He puts his faith in the wrong people

  Adrien’s fucking household is about as toxic as it can get (please don’t take this as a challenge, S4). On top of his immediate family consisting of his abusive, toxic, terrorist father, there’s his cousin Felix. Felix who squished cheese under Adrien’s pillow, stole his phone, pretended to be him and sent an outrageous and awful video to his friends. 

 There’s also his mother Emilie whom, despite his love and adoration of her, lied to him for who knows how long and messed around with a broken miraculous to the point it forced her into an indefinite coma and left Adrien at his father’s mercy. There are theories that she did this for her family but nothing concrete or canon has been proven--all we know is that Emilie had been having frequent dizzy spells while she was still awake and using the peacock miraculous, and that she anticipated her fate and Gabriel apparently promised to save her.

There’s Lila, as well. “She’s not dangerous. She just craves attention.” Wrong, Adrien, she’s very dangerous. She is conspiring with your father to spy on you, attempted to get Marinette expelled from school, tricked you into leaving Ladybug alone with a supervillain whom she personally requested to kill Ladybug, pinned Marinette against a bathroom wall and almost got her akumatized, actually got Marinette akumatized and nearly cost you both the Ladybug Miraculous and TIkki. She isn’t just dangerous she is an actual threat, whether or not she is the future Hawk Moth who sent Timetagger after you when you were children with time-sensitive powers. Adrien has a slightly better understanding of that after the events of Ladybug and Oni-chan, so hopefully he will be on his guard at least in regards to Lila.

 The reason for Adrien’s overly trusting nature may lie in the fact that literally everyone closest to him, everyone for the first thirteen years or so, was toxic and/or a liar. You know what happens when you can’t trust anyone around you? You live with it. You accept all these bad people as they are, without making any effort to establish healthy boundaries. Adrien certainly lived with it--how’s an abused, isolated boxed-and-sheltered son supposed to know what healthy boundaries are when he’s lacking any healthy connections? I bet he can just barely endure all the anguish but he can’t stand to be alone so he just tolerates it. Not to mention the most guilty is his father. Where else is he supposed to go?

Like a frog sitting in a pot of water, you don’t realize you’re in trouble until the water is too hot. So you just accept it--all the bad feelings--you accept it, live with it and it still hurts but you rarely complain. Because anything is better than being alone. 

I think Adrien understands, deep down, that the love he is clinging to, the love provided by his relatives, isn’t really there. But if he looks at it too long and lets this knowledge sink in he’ll lose it. He really did lose it in Chat Blanc-- just that sky-crashing-down-on-him realization that he didn’t have his fathers love, hadn’t had it for a long time, just completely ruined our boy. 

 Of course the knowledge is there. It’s literally right there in front of his face and it’s only a matter of time before he is forced to turn and look and face the music. At which point I hope Marinette knows who he is and has a plan to save him otherwise Chat Blanc is just going to happen again. 

3. Yes, he takes the flirting too far sometimes

No--that doesn’t make him toxic.

Yes, Adrien overreacted to Ladybug never showing up in Glaciator. He shouldn’t have been upset with her in Frozen for not accepting the rose. He should have told her the damn truth about being forced to leave the city at the same time she was in the New York special. 

 However, he also apologized for overreacting in both Glaciator and Frozen. And again, abused kids live in anticipation of punishment for their mistakes. Adrien’s father has taught him that the slightest mistake can result in loss of freedom or trust, even if its circumstances beyond his control. And he now understands that Ladybug isn’t going to blindly punish him for being honest with her, which he now knows to do. 

 He makes mistakes, apologizes for them, and learns from them. That’s not fucking toxic--it’s natural, human and allowed. 

 He’s flirty and suggestive, yes, but the minute she signals she doesn’t want it or isn’t feeling it he stops. He has had immense trouble with not flirting with her, despite her telling him she isn’t interested multiple times. That much is true. But he truly and deeply cares for her and he would never force himself on her and it isn’t because he knows she’ll kick his ass if he does. It’s because unlike the vast majority of his family, he’s actually a decent human being. 

 He has even begun to “flirt platonically,” toasting their partnership and friendship rather than offering a romantic relationship she can never say yes to. If that isn’t the most soft and respectful fluff I don’t know what is.

 4. He is leading Kagami on

Did he cheat? I’m actually not sure. Thomas is being vague in his tweets and won’t give us a decent answer (because he likes “watching fandom burn”--i mean MOOD but clarify please). 

 Here’s what we know and have observed: 1. Chat Noir told Ladybug “I have a girlfriend” 2. He immediately followed that up with “It’s not good at all. I just said that to make you jealous”  3. He allowed Kagami to kiss him in the new york special 4. but he has trouble telling girls not to touch him--been a problem since episode one. Yes its generally cheek kisses chloe gives him but sometimes its not and he looked downright uncomfortable in a lot of cases of physical contact with her and with Lila 5. he seemed rather comfortable with kagami kissing him--except he did say no to her kissing him in the finale 6. but he’s also trying to move on from Ladybug and be with Kagami  7. If he were in a relationship with Kagami, he’d likely keep it a secret because both of their parents are controlling of them and may not allow it 8. His understanding of relationships and girls is kinda dreadful due to not having his mom around for advice and his father’s general lack of a concept of what healthy romantic relationships and boundaries are, and, as Nino put it, not being able to understand signals very well

Adrien’s current relationship status is up in the air. I’m about eighty percent certain he’s dating Kagami--but there’s still that twenty percent chance he’s not.

 Putting aside the question of whether or not he and Kagami are official, Adrien’s been attempting to move past his feelings for Ladybug. Which--won’t sugarcoat it--he kinda sucks at. At the same time, Kagami is aware he is in love with another but lacks the understanding that his moving on will take time. 

 The main issues here is that Adrien knows who he wants but can’t have her. Kagami is a wonderful person herself and he wants to get to know her better, but they aren’t really a good match and they are both going to get hurt in the end (Love Victor anyone???). Until that happens we are going to have some questionable moments in the show, and we just need to remember that Adrien is a child with a poor understanding of relationships, and not an evil person. Kagami doesn’t necessarily have a great understanding of them either--”Your indecision hurts me Adrien,” “Adrien you and I are perfect for each other!”--and she has flaws of her own she needs to unlearn. 

 For the time being, Adrien is leading Kagami on (it needs to be said--even if they aren’t dating he’s flirted with her, given her roses etc.) I say leading her on because, no matter how much Adrien believes Marinette is just a friend and they weren’t flirting in New York, loyal boyfriends who wish to be monogamous don’t dance with other women.

 Or look this happy when that other woman touches them

Does this make Adrien a deceitful and hateful character? No. Does this make him an unworthy character? No. It makes him an abused child with little to no concept of healthy relationships. 

Also Adrien’s friends, including Marinette, have no reason to believe he is dating Kagami. They know he is interested in her and she in him, but as Nino said, Adrien has a hard time picking up signals and understanding their meaning. Not to mention the boy is fifteen. Flirting skills, understanding boundaries, and other relationship concepts are a challenge even for ordinary fifteen year olds in healthy environments to grasp--case in point: Marinette.

Adrigami and Lukanette are simply not going to end well. The Love Square is the endgame and ultimately both Lukanette and Adrigami are going to fall apart to make that happen--I knew that going into the possible Adrigami and Lukanette  territory that the finale created.

 Kagami is a strong, intelligent person--she’s likely going to be the one to end it given what we’ve seen. I don’t like to think about what might happen then--she may be akumatized and Chat Noir would feel rather guilty and may not be able to fight her. But they will both come out of it with something they needed--Kagami will understand (as Marinette needs to) that Adrien isn’t her perfect soul mate incapable of making mistakes. Adrien will understand relationships better. 

 Its unfortunate that this has to happen in order for Adrien to learn due lessons, given that he actually does have someone who can talk to him about girls and relationships and loyalty: Nino.

 Given what Nino wasted no time in scolding Mari for spying on Adrien and Lila when she confessed doing so in Chameleon, as well as how he treats Alya, I undoubtedly believe Nino would be the one to come out and say “You can’t dance with Marinette when you’re with Kagami.” 

 Assuming he is with Kagami. 

In conclusion: Adrien is flawed but not deserving of hate. He is a traumatuzed child stuck in a toxic household who lacks proper mentors. Marinette, Alya and Nino are out of the loop about his potential relationship with Kagami. And Marinette and Kagami both need to acknowledge Adrien is imperfect. Nino and Adrien need to do guy talk like two seasons ago. 

Also Marinette probably has some intense anxiety issues. But more on that later.

[oscopelabs]

Christopher Nolan: The Man Who Wasn’t There by Daniel Carlson

1.

So, we’ll start with the fact that all movies are make-believe. It’s a bunch of actors on a set, wearing costumes and standing with props picked out by hordes of people you’ll never see, under the guidance of a director, saying things that have been written down for them while doing their best to say these things so that it sounds like they’re just now thinking of them. We all know this—saying it feels incredibly stupid, like pointing out that water is wet—but it’s still worth noting. There is, for example, no such person as Luke Skywalker. Never has been, never will be. He was invented by a baby boomer from Modesto. He is not real.

And we know this, and that’s part of the fun. We know that Luke Skywalker isn’t real but is being portrayed by an actor (another boomer from the Bay Area, come to think of it), and that none of the things we’re seeing are real. But we give ourselves over to the collective fiction for the greater experience of becoming involved in a story. This is one of the most amazing things that we do as humans. We know—deep down, in our bones, without-a-doubt know—that the thing we’re watching is fiction, but we enter a state of suspended reality where we imagine the story to be real, and we allow ourselves to be moved by it. We’ve been doing this since we developed language. The people telling these stories know this and bring the same level of commitment and imagination and assurance that we do as viewers, too. The storyteller knows that the story isn’t real, but for lack of a better way to get a handle on it, it feels real. So, to continue with the example, we’re excited when Luke Skywalker blows up the Death Star because he helped the good guys win. For us viewers, in this state of mutually reinforced agreement, that “happened.” It’s not real, but it’s “real”—that is, it’s real within the established boundaries of the invented world that we’ve all agreed to sit and look at for a couple of hours. Every viewer knows this, and every filmmaker acts on it, too. Except:

Christopher Nolan does not do this.

2.

There’s no one single owner or maker of any movie, and anyone who tells you different has their hand in your pocket. But there’s an argument to be made that when somebody both writes and directs the movie, it’s a bit easier to locate a sense of personhood in the final product. (This is all really rough math, too, and should not be used in court.) Christopher Nolan has directed 11 films to date, and while his style can be found in all of them, his self is more present in the ones where he had a hand in the shaping of the story—and crucially, not just that, but in the construction of the fictional world. Take away the superhero trilogy, the remake of a Norwegian thriller, the adaptation of a novel, and the historical drama, and Nolan’s directed five films that can reasonably be attributed to his own creative universe: Following (1998), Memento (2000), Inception (2010), Interstellar (2014), and Tenet (2020). These movies all involve themes that Nolan seems to enjoy working with no matter the source material, including identity, memory, and how easily reality can be called into question when two people refuse to concede that they had very different experiences of the same event. Basically, he makes movies about how perception shapes existence. How he does this, though, is unlike pretty much everybody else.

Take Inception. After a decade spent going from hotshot new talent to household name (thanks to directing the two highest-grossing Batman movies ever made, as well as the first superhero movie to earn an Oscar for acting), he had the credit line to make something big and flashy that was also weird and personal. So we got an action movie that, when first announced in the Hollywood trades, was described as being set within “the architecture of the mind.” Although this at first seemed to be a phrase that only a publicist could love, it turned out to be the best way to describe the film. This is a film, after all, about a group of elite agents who use special technology to enter someone’s subconscious dream-state and then manipulate that person’s memories and emotions. The second half of the film sees team leader Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) and the rest of the squad actually descend through multiple nested subconsciouses to achieve their goal, even as they’re chased every step of the way by representations of Mal (Marion Cotillard), Dom’s late wife, who committed suicide after spending too much time in another’s subconscious and lost the ability to discern whether she was really alive or still in the dream-world.

I say “representations” because that’s what they are: Mal is long dead, but Dom still feels enormous guilt over his complicity in her actions, and that guilt shows up looking like Mal, whose villainous actions (the representation’s actions, that is) are just more signs of Dom not being able to come to grips with his own past. It’s his own brain making these things up and attacking itself, and it chases his entire crew down three successive layers of dream worlds. You get caught up in the movie’s world as a viewer, and you go along because Nolan is pretty good at making exciting movies that feel like theme-park rides. You accept that Dom and everybody else refer to Mal as Mal and not, say, Dom. Dom even addresses her (“her”) when her projection shows up, speaking to her as if she’s a separate being with her own will and desires and not a puppet that he’s pretending not to know he’s controlling. It’s only later that you realize that the movie is in some ways just a big-budget rendition of what it would look like to really, really want to avoid therapy.

Which is what makes Nolan different from other filmmakers:

None of this is actually happening.

Again, yes, it’s happening in the sense that we see things on screen—explosions, chases, a fight scene in a rotating hallway that’s still some of the best practical-effects work in modern action movies—but within the universe of the film, none of what’s going on is taking place in the real world. It’s all unfolding in the subconsciouses of Dom’s teammates. In the movie’s real world, they’re all asleep on a luxury jet. They’re “doing” things that have an outcome on the plot, but Nolan sets more than half the movie inside dreams. It’s a movie about reality where we spend less time in reality than in fantasy. Half the movie is pretend.

For Nolan, filmmaking is about using a dazzling array of techniques to create a visual spectacle that distracts the viewer from the fact that the real and true story is happening somewhere else: in the fringes we can’t quite see, in the things we forget to remember, or even in the realm of pure speculation.

3.

Memento arrived like (and with) a gunshot. It seemed to come out of nowhere and leave people struggling to describe it, and they usually wound up saying something like “it goes backward, but also forward at the same time, except some parts are actually really backward, like in reverse, so it’s maybe a circle?” Written by Christopher Nolan from an idea originally shared with him by his brother, Jonathan (who eventually turned it into a very different short story titled “Memento Mori”), the film follows a man named Leonard (Guy Pearce) who has anterograde amnesia and can’t form new memories, so every few minutes he sort of just resets and has to figure out where he is, what he’s doing there, and so on. He’s on the hunt for the man who attacked him and his wife, leaving his wife dead and Leonard in his present condition, which you can imagine does not make the gathering and synthesis of clues easy.

What’s more, Nolan puts the viewer in Leonard’s shoes by breaking the film’s linear timeline into two halves—call them A and B—and then alternating between them, with the added disorientation coming from the fact that one of those timeline halves plays out backward, with each successive scene showing what happened before the one you previously saw. So, if you numbered all the scenes in each timeline in chronological order, they’d look something like this when arranged in the final film: Scene A1, Scene B22, Scene A2, Scene B21, Scene A3, Scene B20, etc. You get why it messed with people’s heads.

As a result, we spend most of the movie pretty confused, just like Leonard, whose suppositions about what might or might not take place next begin to substitute for our own understanding of the film. It’s not until the end that we find out the shoe already dropped, and that Leonard killed the original attacker some time ago and has since been led on a series of goose chases by his cop friend, Teddy (Joe Pantoliano), who’s planting fake clues to get Leonard to take out other criminals. In other words, we realize that the story we thought was happening was pretend, and the real story was happening all around us, in the margins, memories, and imaginations of the characters. The most honest moment in the movie is the scene where Leonard hires a sex worker to wait several minutes in the bathroom while he gets in bed, then make a noise with the door to wake him, at which point his amnesia has kicked in again and he briefly thinks that the noise is being made by his wife. He’s wrong, of course, but this is the only time in the movie that we actually know he’s wrong. It’s the only time we truly know what’s real and what isn’t.

Yet you can’t talk about Memento without talking about Following, Nolan’s first feature. Although the film’s production was so extremely low-budget you’d think they were lying—the cast and crew all had day jobs and could only film on the weekends, so the thing took a year to make—Nolan’s willingness to dwell completely in a make-believe world that the viewer never knows about is already evident. It’s about a bored young writer who starts following strangers through the city for kicks, only for one of those strangers to catch him in the act and confront him. The stranger introduces himself as Cobb—I kindly submit here that it is not a coincidence that this is also Leonardo DiCaprio’s character’s name in Inception, but you already knew that—and reveals himself to be a burglar, spooked by the tail but willing to take on an apprentice. Cobb trains the writer to be a burglar, only for the situation to ultimately wind up implicating the writer himself in a complex blackmail plot. You see, the writer didn’t latch onto Cobb in a crowd; Cobb lured him in. The whole movie has been Cobb’s story all along, with the writer as a patsy who doesn’t understand the truth until the final frame. None of what we saw mattered, and everything that actually happened happened off-screen just before or just after we came in on a given scene. It’s like realizing the movie you’re watching turned out to be just deleted scenes from something else. You can’t say Nolan didn’t show his hand from the start.

4.

That same general concept—that the movie we’re watching is actually the knock-on effect of a movie we’ll only glimpse, or maybe never even see—underpins Nolan’s latest movies, Interstellar and Tenet, too. Interstellar has some concepts that are iffy even for Nolan (it makes total sense for someone to do something for another out of love, but somewhat less sense that that love somehow reshapes the physical universe), but it’s still a big, bold approach to exploring how time and perception shape our actions. As the film follows its core group of astronauts while they search for potentially habitable new worlds, they encounter strange visions and experiences that turn out to be their handiwork from the future reflected back at them. Sure, it raises the paradoxical question of whether they had a first mission before this that failed, so now their future selves are intervening to make the second one (which feels like the first one to the astronauts the whole time) successful, and all sorts of other stuff that your sophomore-year roommate would like to talk with you about in great detail. But so much of what we see isn’t the stuff that happens, or that winds up being important. There’s the great scene where the astronauts land on a planet near a black hole, which is wreaking havoc on how time passes on the planet. A minor disaster delays their departure for the main ship still in orbit, but when the landing team returns, they find that more than 20 years have “passed” since they left, with the one remaining team member on the ship having spent more than two decades waiting for them to return. It’s a moment of genuine horror, and it underscores the fact that what we thought was the one true reality was just the perspective of a handful of characters we happened to follow for a few minutes. There were whole things happening that changed the plot and story and direction of everything that would follow, and we never saw them; we didn’t even know we’d missed them.

Tenet is, of course, the latest and most recursive exploration yet of Nolan’s obsession with showing us a story that turns out to be mostly fake. It is almost perversely hard to even begin to explain the film (Google “Tenet timeline infographic” and have fun). One way to think about it is to imagine if the two timeline halves from Memento somehow existed at the same time, with people moving both forward and backward through time while inhabiting the same location. Basically, some scientists figured out how to “invert” the basic entropy of objects, so that they exist backward: you hold out your hand and the ball on the ground leaps up into it, because you’ve dropped it in the future, so now you can pick it up, etc. … Look, it doesn’t get easier to understand.

The upshot is, though, that we spend the film following the Protagonist (that’s his name), a CIA agent played by John David Washington, as he’s tasked with tracking down the source of the inverted stuff to figure out what’s unfolding in the future and why it’s suddenly started to make itself known in the present. He gets marginally closer to understanding the truth by the end of the film, but because this is a Nolan film that is maybe more expressly about the nature of reality than anything he’s ever done, his journey doesn’t so much take him forward as it does in a large circle. Because, and stop me if you’ve heard this, the true story of Tenet is taking place outside the Protagonist’s actions and knowledge, alongside him but invisible, often steered by people who themselves are moving “backward” through time and thus have already met the Protagonist in the future and are old friends with him by the time he meets them in his youth. Even more brain-liquefying, some of these people have been working under the orders of the Protagonist himself—the future version, that is—because his past self has already achieved the victories that allowed him to send the future people backward through time to meet his younger self so they’d achieve the victories that allow him to etc., etc., etc.

With Tenet, Nolan didn’t just make a movie that challenged perception, like Memento, or that dwelt in fiction, like Inception. He made a movie that can only be understood (to whatever degree true understanding is possible) by rewatching the movie itself, over and over, as the multiple timelines and harrowingly complex bits of cause and effect come into some kind of focus. The whole movie itself isn’t happening, in a sense, but is just the ramifications of something else, the echoes of a shout whose origin we’re straining to pinpoint. It both is and isn’t.

5.

Christopher Nolan is a talented director of action-driven suspense thrillers. He’s canny at controlling the audience’s emotions, and he knows how to put on a dazzling show. Plus he’s fantastic at picking when to deploy non-computer-generated effects for maximum impact. But you could say that about a lot of other directors, too. What sets Nolan apart from the rest, and what makes him a director to keep watching and returning to, is the teasing way his movies wind up being just deceptive enough to fool you into thinking that you know what’s going on, then just harsh enough to disabuse you of that notion. Looking at what seems to drive him, I don’t think Tenet is his best movie-movie, but it’s his most-Nolan movie. It’s almost a culmination of his continuing efforts to tell stories where what you see and what actually happens are two different things. It’s not that he makes puzzles to solve. There is no solving these movies. Rather, it’s that he sculpts these delicate artifacts that only let you see two dimensions at a time, never all three, no matter how you twist your head. Craning back and forth, you can almost see the whole thing, but not quite. Some part of it will always have to exist in your memory. And that’s where Christopher Nolan likes to be.

[justforthesakeofitt]

How You Like That (M) Chaelisa (top rosé bot lisa)

Chapter 1

hi. this story contains many mature and adult themes that can be triggering and are just for fictional use. i don't condone any of this in real life, and this is pure fiction. so, therefore, if you can't handle that, please just leave this. but don't report this story. 

enjoy 🤍

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(warning. contains strong language, human trafficing, mentions of degradation, corruption, meansé, topsé, idek but the story in general is dark and mature. so if you can't handle that please don't read!!)

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roseanne smirked and swirled her glass around that was filled with her favorite champagne. the armand de brignac brut gold, which cost a mere two thousand two hundred dollars, had made it into the woman her favorite lists, when she tasted it for the first time when she was in France, at the age of nineteen. it made her feel as if she was drinking creamy silk with a lovely flavor, and she was all for that.

her silver hair, with a blueish undertone, was straightened and hung down

her back and over her perky breasts. the tint of her hair matched perfectly with her lamé velvet jacquard mini dress by one of her favorite brands, saint laurent. the dress was a perfect size, as it had been custom adjusted, and hugged her slim waist yet pretty wide hips quite well.

she was seated alone in her comfortable chair, her three bodyguards surrounding her so that she was protected at all costs. being rich had its many perks, but it also came with lots of downsides, such as constantly being exposed to the cruel world that was playing underneath everyone's feet. normal people usually weren't aware of half of the things that were going on behind the scenes of the portrayed world.

the dim and sensual lights that were present in the room, contradicted quite a lot with the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. it seemed as if a night club had meet merged with a dining hall in an expensive mansion, yet they somehow made this entire look and vibe work.

and it was dangerous to know these secrets. behind all the glimmer and glamour of being rich, a lot of dark poison was hiding. and simply being aware of the poison, and knowing about how everything was really being run, was dangerous.

it was dangerous knowing which big companies, who were known for their customer service, actually had ten thousand upon then thousands of illegal so-called 'contract workers' working for them. people in the normal projected world thought that the people working for the minimum wage were being treated as slaves and inhumane, but they never saw the layer of people that were working even lower up than the minimum wage workers. and those were plenty.

billions upon billions of dollars would go down the drain if someone were to reveal that the biggest vegan chain in the world, also owned one of the biggest meat industries. if the companies that were known to fight climate change and induce eco-friendly ways of making products were owned by the same person that was one of the biggest carbon emitters.

if people know, that you know their secrets, your life is at great risk. and since the richest people in the world, all play the same game, you always had to be on your watch. this was no soccer game, where you had a theme behind you. this was like wrestle mania. only the strongest and smartest could survive. and the people that you would think are your friends, are the ones that wouldn't even hesitate to hire an assistant the moment they find a weak spot in you.

"number 603 thirty thousand dollars! going once. going twice. sold to miss kang!"

roseanne chuckled as the blonde girl got pulled off of the stage by her leash that watched attached to her neck. her head hung low and tears were streaming down her face as you could see them shimmer in the dim lights,  which made it all more amusing for the woman.

all of them looked like pathetic little lost puppies, getting pulled one by one to the stage where their new fate would be laid out for them. it all depended on who they ended up with.

her best friend, jennie, had found her own little pet this way and had suggested it to her. after years of being alone, and watching her best friend with the girl, she decided to finally come and see for herself. maybe she'd find something interesting here tonight. 

jennie's pet, who's name was jisoo, was quite a lucky girl. while jennie was quite a mean and tough person on a daily basis, she had developed a soft spot for her pet. it wasn't that she let the girl get away with shit, but she treated her well. better than these girls usually got treated.

jisoo had behaved so well and served her so graciously, that after one and a half year of her possession, jennie had granted her the privilege of being addressed by her name, which was quite rare for the girls that came from here.

not may of the owners ended up granting their pets the status of being called by their actual birth-given name, and rosé wouldn't be one of them either. while jennie was more of a dominant woman who loved for jisoo to worship her and take care of her, roseanne was the sadistic type. 

where jennie received pleasure by letting jisoo worship her feet and have the girl smothered underneath her wet dripping slit, eating her out until her thighs were trembling and she was panting heavily, roseanne wanted the girl to be laying at her feet, whimpers escaping her cracked lips as bruises and cuts were layered on her skin. 

the twenty-seven-year-old woman's eyes gravitated towards the podium once again, before she slightly shifted when she saw the girl that got pulled by the thick leather leash. 

her black lingerie contrasted beautifully with her pale skin, and her black hair had been put into two sideways ponytails with big red bows attached to them. that could only mean one thing.

she was a virgin.

girls with their hair loose were previous prostitutes or whores that they picked up from the streets, giving them the lowest value in the entire lineup.

girls with ponytails were normal girls that they managed to kidnap but weren't virgins anymore. 

but girls with their hair in this innocent style, and cute bows attached to it to give

them an even more pure look, were virgins.

and they sold for the highest prices.

almost everyone wanted a little virgin pet. it was a thrill knowing that all they would associate sex with was their owners. no previous partners or experiences to draw

comparisons from. 

just them.

when roseanne saw the girl's face, her doll-like features with her big doe eyes, and her plump pink lips, she knew that the girl was going to be hers.

"number 209! her price starts at a mere five hundred thousand dollars. who bids higher

than that?"

chaeyoung immediately held up her bidding board that had her slim fingers wrapping around the wooden part, "one million!"

another voice rang through the room, a few seconds later, with an offer of one and a half million dollars. but this girl was going to be hers. no matter the cost.

the bidding went on for a while before her offer rang throughout the room of "twenty-five million dollars." 

the man, that previously was bidding for the same girl, chewed on his bottom lip before shaking his head.

a smirk grazed roseanne her dark blue colored lips, "number 209 twenty-five million dollars! once! going twice! sold to miss park!"

her eyes locked with her newly bought pet, and she mindlessly licked her lips. the girl's eyes were glossy and looked with a terrified gaze at her. 

"yes...--" chaeyoung muttered to herself with s grin, "--be scared, doll. you aren't ready for what I have in store for you."

there were only a few girls left, so she patiently sat through it all, satisfied with her purchase of the evening. non of the girls could top her pet. and for once, she was glad that she had listened to jennie's advice.

after the auction was over, she walked to the back and got handed two briefcases by one of her bodyguards, which she delivered to the woman that was behind all of this.

"you made jessie very happy. i hope the girl will make you happy too."

roseanne hummed and watched as the men were counting the money, before turning her attention back to the woman in front of her, "everything is clean right? no traces. no record and no evidence."

jessie nodded and smacked her bright red lips together, "everything is clean. we tripled checked. the police have already been paid to drop the missing person case, so she has been declared dead. the parents are quite poor too so they won't be able to afford to search for her or take any legal actions. she's dead and has been reborn the moment you bought her."

roseanne smirked and, with a firm handshake, greeted the woman before she made her way into a dark hallway that led to where the girl should be.

she opened the door to a room and saw a black wooden crate, which had been sealed by a lid at the top, sitting on the floor in the middle of the room.

when she saw that it was the correct one, she snapped her fingers, making two of the three men quickly make their way over to the side and lifted up the top.

she once again, almost immediately crossed eyes with her toy, and saw how panicked and vulnerable she seemed. this made her feel only more in control and boosted her ego.

there were soft pleading whimpers coming from the bound girl, but she ignored them completely.

after a few seconds of further inspection, the crate got closed again.

"deliver her in an hour to my address. make sure that she keeps whatever bodily fluid she has inside of her. i don't want her to arrive in filth at my place."

she got helped into her thick fur coat, and flicked her hair back, before putting on a peeked black cap.

the men nodded in understanding and turned their attention on the crate. one of them followed her, also functioning as her driver, while the other two stayed behind.

there were two small holes on the top of the crate in the cover, which made sure that the girl got enough fresh air to stay conscious, but not enough to make her feel great, so the chance of her throwing up or peeing herself was a big possibility.

she just hoped that the girl could hold it in, as she was sure that she wouldn't hesitate to hose the poor thing down immediately. 

she climbed up the stairs before walking outside. 

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it was dark, already around the one at night, so the streets were fairly empty. these illegal legal things, were mostly done at night, just to give extra security and privacy.  "ready miss?" her chauffeur asked making her nod, "yes. take me home."

she stared out of the window, the snow slowly cascading down while the streets of Seoul were already covered in a thick layer of the frozen crystals.

it was only november, yet the heavens had sent them snow already. and to be fair, roseanne wasn't complaining. 

she smiled as she started to move up the hills, knowing that she was approaching her lovely home.  

her and her best friend, jennie, were actually neighbors, which was quite fun. this meant that she could show her new purchase off very soon, as all she had to do was go to the mansion next door. even tho it was a five-minute drive.

the moment the car stopped at the entrance of her house, she got out, hugging her black fur coat tighter around her body, before grabbing her purse and made her way inside.

"the room is ready right?" she asked one of her maids, who nodded and bowed slightly, before helping her out of her coat "yes ma'am. it is exactly like you wanted it to be."

she grinned and stretched herself before yawning a bit and walked inside.

"good. now, all we have to do is wait."

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[pathogenliliaceae]

Thoughts on Jill Valentine

Hello, friends! My responsibilities for my trading company job have abated in the interim, so I thought perhaps I would come back around to Jill, as promised. 

Thoughts on Jill Valentine:

I will begin this by saying that it is appropriate that she was asked alongside Mia because there is one outstanding issue that I have between the both of them: The need to be saved. Though I find Jill to be leagues more competent.

We’ll get to it in full a bit later. 

I will make no secrets that Jill has never been my most favourite of protagonists. Most of those issues stem from “3: Nemesis” and Five, though I am not adverse to including bits from One and Revelations. In one word, Jill is tolerable. Though, if given a choice (depending upon who my choices are) I will usually pick someone else.

A bit of background on Miss Valentine: I am utterly convinced that Capcom has changed her birthdate. I remember quite vividly scoffing that they made her birthdate Valentine’s Day, but now that I look it up again it seems its in May. Well, that’s at least a half a point in her favour. It’s become less mind-numbingly stupid. She is French-Japanese-American, whose father was a professional thief. In addition, she received Delta Force training through the US Army. Unusually adept at lock-picking, she then (apparently) gains the moniker - the Master of Unlocking. She also, again apparently, is adept at bomb disposal, though I cannot remember an instance in which this is exhibited. Though I can remember many instances when this would have come in handy. Jill. 

Post-Delta Force and US Army tenancy, Wesker recruited Jill for STARS - described as an elite special forces operation for the RPD comprised of military veterans and weapons specialists (put a leaf in this for when I eventually get to Rebecca Chambers). Joining her in STARS are Forest, who she already had a friendship with prior to working together, and Chris. She is the only female officer on STARS Alpha Team, and works as a Breaking and Entering specialist. Forward onto the Mansion Incident.

Again, I’ve mentioned that if given a choice, I will usually not pick Jill to play as. However, that is not to say that I have not played Jill’s scenario in One. My primary complaint about Jill’s Scenario is as follows: It is fundamentally easier than Chris’. She’s got the lockpick set, so she doesn’t need to find Old Keys. She has more inventory space. In the space where she finds the zombie in the bathtub, she stomps his head mid-cutscene and does not have to fight him. She starts with the handgun and receives higher powered weapons whilst Chris has a higher chance of critical headshots. She can mix chemicals to weaken Plant 42 and cut the boss fight in half. Jill can skip certain puzzles in Arklay with Barry’s help, one under the guise of “saving” her from the falling ceiling where you retrieve the shotgun. No need to find the broken shotgun, and you have access to the shotgun as soon as you unlock the area which makes accessing the Armour Key much easier. I used to believe that this was a reflection of the character, but now I believe it is a bit of thinly veiled misogyny on Capcom’s part. ): 

About the opening to her scenario, after running amok in the forest and into the mansion - “There are only three STARS members left now. Captain Wesker, Barry, and myself. We don’t know where Chris is.” YOU’VE JUST HAD HIM AT THE DOOR! HOW HAVE YOU LOST HIM? Also, check your maths, Jill. That’s four STARS members. We have one negative point here in that she’s managed to lose her partner in the amount of time it takes to cross a threshold. Anyhow, like how it is when you play as Chris, the other is locked in the cell in the labs and must be released with the MO discs prior to the T-002 battle. Canonically, Jill escapes with Chris and Barry. Chris escapes with Jill and Rebecca. Rebecca does not make an appearance in Jill’s game, nor Barry in Chris’. Brad is there in the background, flying the helicopter he had damned them with at the beginning. It’s a bit of a flub.

Moving on to 3: Nemesis and the Remake and whatever happens in between the events of Arklay and the destruction of Raccoon City. Gathering from memos in Two and Three, shortly after the Arklay Incident, Chris and Jill take their concerns to Chief Irons, requesting the launch of an investigation into Umbrella and all the related shenanigans. Irons, being involved and heavily steeped in wrongdoing, denies this request. STARS all but disbands, as Chris leaves for Europe in August 1998, Barry moves his family to Canada and follows after Chris, Rebecca is doing fuck-all, and Irons has suspended Jill and ordered her confined to her flat. That leaves... Brad Vickers as STARS. The only member. In office. Everyone else is dead, suspended, or AWOL. I suppose one way to operate as a corrupt organisation is to keep the most inept person as your only functioning operative. I digress, this is about Jill and not the bucket of maladroitness that is Brian Irons.

Jill remains in Raccoon City under the pretense of attempting to locate NEST, with the intention of following behind Chris, Barry, and Rebecca(?) a bit later. I believe also she was intending to sort through the rumours of the development of Golgotha, but I cannot find accurate citation of that. Things that she manages to do whilst confined to her flat for a month behind the departure of the other STARS members: Not that at all. I have long wondered what it was that was actually keeping Jill in her flat, aside from orders from her no-longer boss, when she had intentions of leaving on 30 September. I don’t imagine that with what remains of STARS poking around, save for Brad, that Irons would put a definite date on the lifting of her suspension. “Yes, now you may leave to bring down the organisation that I am tangentially working for”. The Three Remake expands on this a bit, as it seems that perhaps Jill was not emotionally nor mentally suited for travel outside of the flat. In which case, I question whether steeping herself in all things Umbrella was perhaps exacerbating her condition. I do believe that there is a fundamentally large difference between Three: Remake Jill and 3: Nemesis Jill. First off, trousers. Enough said. I don’t do my personal investigations sitting in a pleather mini-skirt and a tube top with a rather practical jumper tied around my waist, and neither should you. I much rather imagine a suspension to be carried out in pyjamas, but again I am not the type of person to dress at home if I’m not needed to.

Secondly, Three: Remake Jill holds up much better against Nemesis without the help of Carlos (who is also rather incompetent and sexist), than her original counterpart. Her reactions to goings on are much more believable, and for much of the game she has absolutely no issue putting Carlos within appropriate boundaries. He tries to explain to her what a radio is, she snaps at him. He touches her, she tells him not to. You are a stranger, sir, please observe courtesy. Not to mention, a stranger who is working for the organisation we’ve just found out is responsible for the development of bioweapons and viral agents. At least bother to ask her name, first. A bit of a hint, Carlos: It isn’t “supercop”. If we are to continue on with this Jill further on in the series, I will support it. I would quite enjoy a long-standing female protagonist that has no issue scoffing at male protagonist foolishness and scolding their perspectives. Perhaps it is a good thing that she and Leon have never met in any official capacity.

Three: Remake Jill still falls prey to damsel-syndrome, as I’ll call it, upon being infected by Nemesis. Carlos comes in as the knight in shining armour, having become infatuated with her after knowing her for exactly four hours. I like to imagine that this New Jill could wake up from her comatose state, shout about her autonomy, and then go back to sleep. This is however, remedied by some sort of favour-trading as she does save Carlos in a quid-pro-quo a bit later. I do have concerns about how far Jill allowed Nikolai to get without shooting him down, but that’s unimportant in the long run. There is also a bit of inconsistency between games in how Jill and Carlos escape Raccoon City and what happened just prior, but those are unimportant to our examining of Jill.

All in all, New Jill is portrayed as a competent individual, which I think serves much better to support her character in instances such as the Fall of Umbrella chapter in The Umbrella Chronicles, which leads into the formation of the BSAA and her involvement with them.

Functionally, from 2003 until at least 2009, Chris and Jill mostly function as a singular unit. 2005- they work together to subdue T-ALOS. 2004- The Queen Zenobia, Queen Semiramis fiasco in which Jill carries Parker through a sinking ship as Chris slams doors in her face- as loving partners do. (I do want to mention in an aside that so many people find themselves in trouble whilst looking for Chris. It is the plot of NO FEWER than four games. One, Two, Code: Veronica, and Revelations. Maybe even a bit of Six. Call it four and a half). Revelations does delve into a bit of why I find Jill to be competent amongst the ranks of highly amateur BSAA agents. First off, she reads the manuals for things. She realises the importance of memos! Secondly, she is shown deducing and explaining quite a bit about the situation they find themselves in to Parker, who is often none-the-wiser. An argument could be made that Parker is a newly ported FBC emigre and therefore does not yet have the same expectation but I disagree having seen the... eptitude of other agents. She is rather instrumental in uncovering the whole FBC - Veltro - BSAA mess and quite honestly tends to hold her own in that installment. If only the dodge function worked better. Anyhow, back to her partnership with Chris- it canonically ends with the Lost in Nightmares campaign in Five. In which she quite literally bowls Wesker out of a window in defense of Chris and (sort of) the world. If there is any secret method of getting me to enjoy a character, it is self-sacrifice for the sake of another. There is something so beautiful about it. Except Ethan, nothing can redeem him. Jill functions best as a character when she is partnered with Chris. I cannot say that in any of these scenarios I have profound issues with her. Forward onto the events of Five and about where we will end this tangent.

Jill and Wesker, obviously, both survive the fall from the Spencer estate. Jill is kept for experimentation due to the existing muted strain of T in her body from the events of Three. The antibodies she possessed were used by Wesker in attempts to make Uroboros more accepting of human host bodies. During the time that she was “in his care” (poor choice of words, I know), he repeatedly injected her with Progenitor strains and took the resulting antibodies. As a result of the testing and antibody removal, Jill’s hair, skin, and eyes lightened in cryostasis (I am still trying to make sense of this bit). Once she had reached the extent of her usefulness, Wesker volunteered her for the P30 project, a Las Plagas extension that utilised chemical compounds for mind control. However, due to the high expulsion rate, the chemical had to be constantly injected, explaining the injector attached to her body.

This requires her, again, rescue at the hands of Chris and Sheva. Once the injector is removed, the other two move on after Wesker, and Jill promptly collapses into unconsciousness. She is found by BSAA Delta Team Captain Josh Stone, who escorts her to a helicopter and initiates a rendezvous with Chris and Sheva on the volcano.  I will stand up for Jill on this one- I do not at all believe that if Jill was on the helicopter, that Sheva should have been the one to wield the rocket launcher. That honour should have belonged to the two original STARS Alpha Team members alone. It’s simply poetic, and I am sorry for Sheva, but it would have been much more perfect. 

Currently, we’ve not seen anything from Jill since Five. The only mention to her current condition is that she is at the BSAA undergoing testing and rehabilitation for her time spent with Wesker. In her words: “...ever since getting back I've been locked up in this lab as they run tests on me day in and day out. It's every bit as boring as it sounds”. We leave Jill’s chronology with her being bored. Fitting. In short, I believe that Jill has quite a bit of potential in her competency, and I am actually quite interested to see what her reaction would be to the BSAA using bioweapons. We’ve not heard from her in twelve years, so one can only assume that she is still alive somewhere, being bored. If they are going to take her character in the same direction they appear to be going in the Three: Remake, I would not at all be adverse to seeing her again in a future standalone installment.  That being said, I have quite the backlog of characters to talk about! Please give me the benefit of the doubt when waiting on these. I’ve got work to do, tea to drink, games to play, and characters to analyse.

[charliejrogers]

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) - Review & Analysis

Here’s a non-controversial statement: 2017’s Wonder Woman is a legitimately great film (if you discount the last act’s boring battle). A fun, yet emotional anti-war tale with a great period aesthetic. What elevated it from greatness was its starkly bleak reveal that Ares does not start man’s wars, but he merely gives humans ideas for how to instigate them. Ultimately, it is Man who holds responsibility for our own destruction, and despite this Wonder Woman still chooses to help us poor creatures. Cool themes, cool hero, cool movie.

Wonder Woman 1984 shares the main character from its 2017 forerunner, as well as its dedication to recreating a particular period aesthetic (here the 1980s), but the brilliant writing from the first film is gone. The main themes are essentially… “be careful what you wish for” and “winners never cheat; cheaters never win.” Not the most grand and interesting follow-up to the prior film’s genuine insight into human nature.

But that’s OK. I’m really not sure why this movie is getting so much flak online. If DC’s recent prior history with filmmaking should have taught us anything, it’s that 2017’s Wonder Woman was a fluke. Remember that this is the same studio that brought us the outstanding climax to Batman vs. Superman where one grown man learns that another grown man’s mother is also named Martha. Oh, and did we all just forget that Justice League is one of the worst movies we have all collectively ever seen?

So let’s not be too hard on WW84 for not meeting the quality of 2017’s Wonder Woman. Few comic book movies can. In the more fair comparison to other movies in the DCEU, it sits below Shazam! and Aquaman, and just a smidge below Birds of Prey, but certainly above Suicide Squad, and then literally leaps and bounds over every other movie they’ve made.

Let’s start with the good. Honestly, despite my gripes about the themes of the movie not being very profound, I found the story to be interesting. The movie centers around Diana Prince (Gal Gadot in her role as an archaeologist for the Smithsonian and not as Wonder Woman) stumbling upon an ancient stone whose inscription invites people who hold the stone to make a wish. No one takes it really seriously at first, so two people make wishes without thinking they could come true. The first person is Diana herself who wishes to bring her boyfriend (whom she only knew for about a week, mind you) from the dead. As a reminder from the first film, her boyfriend Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) had died nearly 70 years prior to the start of this film in a dramatic, sacrificial, world-saving act. Apparently, Diana hasn’t moved on at all from the 1910s and still considers her short-time lover to be her forever lover. She’s not really a human and did not grow up a human, so I think we can forgive her for not moving on… but it is weird to imagine that Diana somehow works at the Smithsonian (without going to college? Or did she?) without developing any friends or interest in life. Wouldn’t she have moved on... like a little bit?

Anyways, she wants her boyfriend back, and that’s wish #1. Wish #2 comes from new character Barbara Minerva (Kristen Wiig… who I am shocked to find is 47 years old! She looks fantastic and far younger in this film). Were Barbara a man, the way she is treated by her colleagues would put them in the stereotypical role of a future school shooter. Barbara is a brilliant gemologist for the Smithsonian, but goes completely unrecognized for her brilliance. She is shy and unconfident, and subsequently people frequently forget that they have even met her. Add on to that the fact that she has to work in the same office as Wonder Woman, and her loneliness and subjective feelings of unattractiveness increase as male employees drool over Diana while they ignore and mock Barbara. Therefore, we would forgive her for having a chip on her shoulder. Yet, for all this, Wiig avoids playing her as an angry, emo goth. Barbara kinda has this air about her of “Well, this is just how life is, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.” Given the character’s lack of self-confidence and lack of social grace, it at times seemed like Wiig was just reprising her old SNL character, Penelope, the socially awkward one-upper. But that’s not fair to her character. Wiig portrays Barbara with an earnest goodness to her. She’s one of those people who when allowed to talk one-on-one proves to be more eloquent and interesting than you could have imagine. Far from being angrily envious of Diana’s confidence and beauty, she’s more sadly jealous. Naturally, then, she wishes on the stone to be more like Diana… unaware that this wish might have some unintended benefits.

But then, there’s a third key character to the film (and a third wishmaker), the main villain Maxwell Lord (Pedro Pascal). I cannot tell you if this was a good character or not… and I cannot tell you whether the imperfections of the character are more due to the film’s writing or Pascal’s performance. Lord is another loser, and like Barbara, his “loser” status is the result of being a victim of America’s prejudicial attitudes. But whereas Barbara fell victim to sexism, Lord falls victim to racism. Hispanic in origin, Lord grew up in America with an abusive father at home and racist classmates at school. Beaten down from an early age, all he wants in life is to make a name for himself, to prove he’s not a loser. In a clever twist, Lord (the person who originally ordered the wish stone to come to America before it was confiscated by the FBI and sent to the Smithsonian for analysis) does not simply use the stone to wish for riches and power… he wishes to BECOME the stone. That way, he can get nearly infinite wishes so long as he can con the people around him to wish things for him.

The scenes of Max Lord as a flawed human who just wants to not be a loser show Pascal giving a great performance as a human being at the ends of desperation. The scenes of Max Lord the supervillain are… not good. In a long string of over-the-top, eccentric, hyperconfident supervillains in countless superhero movies, Pascal’s Lord is just not interesting. In fact, he is literally a weak character. He cannot fight for himself as his body is crumbling (a side effect of wishing to become a stone). Furthermore, his initially grounded motivations to finally be respected and successful seem to be just utterly lost by the end of the film when he just wishes for world chaos… only then to turn around and declare undying love for his son. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Failure to understand a character’s motivations casts a shadow over Barbara’s character arc as well. It is explained that the wish stone takes something in return for granting someone their wish. So as payment for bringing Steve Trevor back to life, Diana loses some of her strength. Still… this strains to fully explain why Barbara, after gaining Wonder Woman-like strength, turns into a walking humanoid cheetah (complete with bad CGI like she walked straight out of the cast of 2019’s Cats.) Like I get that she lost some of her humanity and morality in exchange for strength… but Cheetah girl seems like a little much. And though initially it is fun to see Wiig get to play Barbara as a confident and sexy woman who fights back against the patriarchy, the movie (I think) unfairly pushes her into the villain role. In my opinion, she should be treated as a tragic character, something akin to a Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight, as her villainous tendencies are not really her fault. She literally had the part of her that cares about other humans taken away from her when she naively and innocently wished to be like Diana. Instead, the movie has Diana lecture her that she shouldn’t be so evil. She literally can’t, lady! Stop being so hard on her! In any case, it seems like a failed opportunity to generate sympathy for a genuinely likable character who tragically becomes a villain not through her own accord.

That failure to create genuine emotions extends to Diana’s story as well. As soon as Steve is resurrected, you know by the movie’s end he will be dead again. There’s no other way this movie ends. Yet, the fact that Diana is so stubborn in refusing to give up Steve makes it hard to sympathize with her. She is simply being selfish, making her eventual decision to say goodbye to Steve feel more like her finally doing the right (and obvious) thing, and not some heartbreaking decision. Also the fact that seemingly Diana hasn’t even tried to move on in the last seventy years doesn’t help matters for me: it more just feels like a lazy way to write in Chris Pine’s popular character into the second movie. The move certainly weakens the idea of Diana as a strong, independent woman by making her emotionally stunted and crippled for the last 70 years. It would have been a much more satisfying (and daring) choice if Diana had moved on from Steve emotionally and had to deal with the guilt of having brought him back by accident, particularly if he didn’t want to go back to being dead. Instead... Steve knows he has to go back and Diana feels no guilt keeping him around. It’s weak character writing.

These poor choices I contrast with two of my favorite TV shows that demonstrate perfectly how former lovers who miraculously reunite eventually have to say goodbye for good: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Jane the Virgin. For risk of spoilers to those still watching Jane, I’ll stick to the Buffy example. There’s an episode of Buffy (though technically an episode of the spin-off show Angel) where Buffy and her vampire lover Angel are fresh off their recent and tumultuous break-up, but through some dark magic that neither seeks out, they are given the opportunity to live a life where Angel isn’t actually a vampire and their love can be fully expressed. Yet, in the end, Angel opts to give up his life as a human and return to being a vampire. The choice is so moving precisely because (due to circumstances I cannot begin to explain) in choosing to give up his life with Buffy, he saves her life as well. Whereas in this movie, Diana choosing to let Steve go is really just her choosing to undo her choice to essentially cheat death. Angel, however, is actively choosing to give up a life of happiness he never wished for but was just given on a silver platter, and will now live in a world where his lover will never know his selfless act and will go on hating him. It’s heartbreaking in a way Wonder Woman dreams it could be.

And not to get too Buffy-heavy… but that show also deals with the emotional consequences of being ripped out of the afterlife much better than this movie. Steve just kinda unrealistically adapts to being alive again in all of five minutes. If, perhaps, from the start he questioned why he was there and hinted to Diana that something was wrong, the emotional aspect of this story, the doomed nature, the feeling of “this is the last chance we’ll have together” could have made this a stronger movie. I wanted to find myself crying when Diana finally says bye to Steve, and I was no where close to that. Gal Gadot shares at least part of the blame. She’s a pretty wooden actress. It’s something I noticed in 2017’s Wonder Woman, but in that movie she was supposed to be a fish out of water so her stilted presence seemed appropriate. Here, where she’s supposedly become an assimilated American for 70 years… it is just bad acting.

Anyways, another aspect of this film that was lacking were the visuals. The bad CGI of Barbara as Cheetah is just scratching the surface here. The opening flashback to Diana as a girl performing in the Amazonian Olympics just… looks fake. I don’t know. The reliance on CGI over practical effects is clear and distracting. It’s only worse in the subsequent scene where Wonder Woman stops a theft from occurring in a mall. The effects are just bad. Like passable for a film in the 1990s or early 2000s. But for a 2020 blockbuster, it’s noticeably bad. And already the scene where Wonder Woman is running towards the camera with a weird green screen behind her seems to have become a meme given just how weird it looks.

And yet, for all the negatives I’ve listed, this is a decent action flick. There’s even some nice set pieces like the one in the White House. As little as I liked Max Lord as a supervillain, I found figuring out the other half of each of his various Monkey Paw wishes (i.e. the downside of each wish) to be clever. unfortunately, each of the main three characters fails to have a story line that takes full advantage of their emotional potential, or they are just poorly acted. With few exceptions, the film eschews “fun” in favor of “seriousness.” Really the only exception is, as in the first film, the chemistry between Pine and Gadot. Their chemistry makes for some of the movie’s best moments, like when Wonder Woman makes the plane they’re flying in invisible and the pair flies over fireworks on the fourth of July. But that sense of whimsy in their scenes is largely absent from the rest of the film. This is particularly true of the action sequences, especially those at the climax. The seriousness makes them rather boring. Really, I’m comparing these action scenes with the last half hour or so of Birds of Prey which really set the bar for superhero movie fight choreography. So in the end, it’s overall an OK movie. It certainly isn’t as bad as others make it out to be, but I cannot believe I’m saying this… in 2020 if you’re in the mood for a fun superhero movie, you’re better off with the Suicide Squad sequel than the Wonder Woman sequel.

**/ (Two and a half stars out of 4)

[gayregis]

Hi good morning can we talk about twn ciri for a sec? There is something about the way she’s portrayed by the actress that just drives me CRAZY and I don’t know quite how to put my finger on it. I think she’s just so reserved and serious and haughty, whereas in the books she’s really playful and lively and exaggerated and just?? Has emotions?? And also I was spoiled by Peter Kenny’s fantastic accent for ciri and can’t think of her any other way. ANYWAY WHAT R UR THOUGHTS CUZ IM SURE THEY’RE GOOD

ohohoh yes. just as a prefacee and for context, freya allan (ciri’s actress) is 18 years old, and i am 19 years old, so to say i didn’t like her acting in twn isn’t me bullying or being harsh on a minor. in addition, i also don’t think her acting was bad. i think her acting was great, but it was just out of character for ciri, at least the ciri we know from the books... i do not think the directors treated ciri with enough weight as she needed to have in the narrative. like with yennefer, they gave her way more screen time and much less significance in the overall story, because the moments that they gave them to be on screen were just pure filler with no effect on the character development, relationship development, setting, themes... the audience never learned anything useful when they were on screen, besides lore about aretuza and cintra that would immediately escape their minds after the episode was done.

i know for a fact that this “out of character” acting for ciri (her being “so reserved and serious and haughty”) was a result of the directors and people running the show, and NOT freya herself as an actress. like with joey batey and anya chalotra i think, they got the short stick in this deal. they’re actors, so their profession is to act, but they don’t always get to decide HOW they’re supposed to act and portray these beloved characters. that’s what the director is for, right? to direct how scenes play out, to make sure the characters are in-character. and the writers are the ones that write the actors’ lines and the scenes they exist in, so “then it’s just like any other place,” or “who’s yennefer,” and other ridiculous garbage throwaway lines were the writers’ fault and not the actors. i just think it’s important to establish that even though yes, freya is an older teenager/young adult, she’s not responsible for a lot of decisions involving ciri and the character. plus since she is 18 and just got done being 17, i feel like this is the first time she’s actually been able to legally make her own decisions. 

plus in this topic, because i’ve never mentioned it anywhere before, i’d like to bring light to how it’s super shady of netflix to decide to hire an actress for ciri who is BARELY an adult actor, because child actors (as opposed to adult ones) are restricted by many different laws concerning how many hours they can work, etc. the fact that freya is 18 means that they can give her more work and disregard any regulations that may have applied to a child actor, and i think i literally read this from lauren hissrich in an interview, that “older actors are easier to work with than child actors” or something like this, that it’s difficult to shoot with child actors due to the immense restrictions. so although they phrased the casting choice for freya allan more in the sense of “well, we were GOING to cast someone younger, but freya was just so fantastic in auditions that we NEEDED her in this production” is suspicious to me, i think they did it so they wouldn’t have to deal with the headache of laws surrounding child actors (note that i do NOT doubt that freya is a great actress, i liked her acting, i mean look at the scenes she is in! she is actually acting, unlike henry cavill).

speaking of henry cavill, anyone want to mention his 19 year old girlfriend or his “opinions” on the #MeToo movement? no? my more conspiratorial theory is that they might have just wanted to get a barely legal actress for ciri because if cavill were to “do anything”... ahem... it would be less complicated for all of the legality than if he “did anything” to a child. i’m not calling cavill a r*pist but he has made his views on women explicitly clear, and a LOT falls under the umbrella of sexual assault and harassment. innappropriate comments, etc... i don’t trust him to respect women just as much as i don’t trust him to act.

that was a big preface that pretty much went nowhere, apologies... but i think it’s significant to look at the context around the actor or actress when they’re likely being a tad exploited on set. but yes, ciri does come off as super out of character to me in the majority of scenes she is in. it’s because her character was set up to be a white feminist fantasy of being declared innocent from the sins of her family because she feels bad about it, with her “being so privileged and then she finds out her grandmamma committed mass genocide and she has to realize that her royal ways!” instead of anything related to what we see in the books, of a vulnerable child losing that childhood and trying to cling to some sense of normalcy and family. they set her up as “a princess” and not “a child.” 

in the books, she’s just a child, and then geralt learns she’s a princess and teases her that she doesn’t look much like one, being lost in a forest with a snotty nose... she’s not introduced in a royal court surrounded by noble guests. i doubt that books ciri spent all of her time in court, either... according to the lore, she wouldn’t even be able to sit down and she would have to stand in calanthe’s presence (season of storms, the princes must stand in the royal court alongside their father while coral gets to sit because she is a sorceress... of course, this is cidaris and not cintra, but it still stands). she is a princess, but she has difficulty acting like one... it’s something i’d rather erase from my mind because it’s one of those “problematic points of canon that only exist because they live in a medieval society,” but it’s made clear that calanthe gave ciri the belt for misbehaving, multiple times. ciri is obviously interested in more childlike pursuits and acts outside of her station a lot. after all, she is the reason that their entourage got pulled into brokilon in the sword of destiny, because ciri fucking ran away since she didn’t want to be brought to and married off to prince kirsten of verden.

again on ciri’s age, she was 8 or 9 when we first meet her in the books, and 14 when we meet her in the netflix series. that’s a vast amount of difference in age, not only by years, but by development and experience. an 8 year old is a 3rd grader, a 14 year old is a high school freshman. i think that makes a lot of difference in not only how much agency a character is treated with, but how an audience views them. i mean, 14 is a good age for a YA novel protagonist - think harry potter or percy jackson. ciri in the netflix adaptation was set up more as someone relatable (to those younger watching) as she’s like the hero of her own story! she escapes from her evil evil evil pursuers and has this great power she doesn’t yet understand! whereas books ciri is meant more for an audience to feel like geralt toward - protective, parental, you find a child in the middle of the woods, and you’re thinking, “what’s with this... sassy lost child?”

sapkowski is also the master of a good character reveal. i think ciri, cahir, regis, even characters like vilgefortz, have these GREAT reveals as to who they were all along! surprise, surprise, there is no black knight of cintra, it’s just a young man paralyzed with fear and pain! surprise, surprise, the guy that knew a lot about vampires and lived near a cemetery and dresses in all black is a vampire (ok, this reveal is weaker... but you’ve got to admit, the actual reveal scene... alright). 

ciri had a GREAT character reveal in the books. since we see everything from geralt’s perspective, she’s just some child, she’s just some brat geralt finds in the wilderness, he doesn’t have ANY reason to feel any sort of way to her, and he practically adopts her and she feels safe with him. he recognizes her vulnerability as a child and does anything to protect her and guide her. this is what is meant by “something more,” their relationship from the beginning was something more than strictly destiny. destiny may have led them together, but it did not make them become family, they did that themselves. and later when geralt learns that ciri is the princess of cintra, the child surprise promised to him, does he even consider destiny as part of the equation. and this is actually what drives them apart, because geralt believes that he will and refuses to ruin her life by introducing her to the blade, and thus, death. because it’s not incredibly special that ciri is a child surprise, i wouldn’t say it’s horribly common, but it’s not like she’s the only one. and she’s definitely not the only child to be taken/taken in and raised by witchers. and geralt knows what being raised as a witcher is like, and he refuses to do that to her, because he actually loves this child as his daughter. and this is where the conflict stems from, because geralt spit in destiny’s face and said, fuck you, i’m not going to hurt this child. and destiny said, i’m going to hurt her anyways.

in the netflix series? the first time we see ciri... is in cintra! the surprise is RUINED!! child surprise, more like child already-revealed. the audience has no reason to watch anymore, because we already know who she is and what happens to her. they literally kill calanthe and eist off in the first episode, and then expect the audience to CARE about them during episode 4 when they adapted a question of price. in the books, dandelion telling geralt the accounts of the massacre of cintra was a heavy scene, it was a tragic scene, and you knew somehow that it was geralt’s fault because of how he had refuted destiny, you had the lore on your side if you had been reading the stories beforehand, you understood why this was happening and what has happened to ciri.

also side note, i sincerely think the massacre of cintra is better coming from geralt’s best friend, someone he’s known for years and trusts immensely, also a poet so his account is horrifyingly immaculate and it really hits that mark of chilling, rather than geralt just... idk being there? i didn’t watch this far but he showed up to cintra and calanthe threw him in jail? this makes no sense, why would she... anyways. but yes, dandelion is a character that serves to be there for geralt, so it makes sense for him to tell geralt about cintra because then geralt can respond and thus demonstrate to the readers/audience all of the emotions about it that he is feeling.

but yeah so to summarize, my thoughts are that ciri really comes off as a weaker character in the netflix series than in the books because:

they treated her as older and introduced her as the lion cub of cintra and not as just some child found in the woods, taking BOTH the “child” and “surprise” out of “child surprise”

they removed geralt’s paternal relationship to her and why exactly he is significant in her story, and hyped up the “destiny” thing instead, which came off as completely meaningless, not to mention annoying to hear repeated when there has been no significance developed behind the word. i mean, they cut out both brokilon and something more (i will NOT accept that scene as the ending scene of something more. that wasn’t a hug fit to pick your kid up from afterschool, much less a hug that you run towards your kid with when you thought they perished and you were responsible for it, when you risked your life just to maybe be able to see them again. there was also no dialogue, no “geralt, you’ve found me! after all this time! i knew it! i’m your destiny! say it, i’m your destiny? am i your destiny?” “you’re much more than that, ciri. much more.” so that sucked).

they chose an older actress for ciri, likely to evade having to respect their actors by working within the confines of child labor laws, but not only this, they treated her older in the narrative and made the viewer empathize with her instead of with geralt, the parent... ciri only is supposed to become a “relatable” character when she reaches 13 or 14, in blood of elves and in time of contempt.

they reduced the significance of how deep her trauma was from the massacre of cintra (she makes one offhand comment about how cahir had a bird on his head... that’s not gonna cut it for me. she’s so far experienced a total of zero nightmares about the black knight of cintra).

they gave her a bunch of filler scenes that had absolutely no impact on the broad story or her character development or relationships with other characters (doppler plot). they also made her arc surround unlearning being a princess and finding what epic powers she might have, and nothing comes from both of these points. she doesn’t develop any character because of these points, they’re just there for more filler.

a tad unrelated but: they made yennefer’s wanting a child more of an obsession than a goal the character just happens to have, and have sexualized her character immensely, moreso than in the books... plus the fact that they made her super appealing to the audience and to every other character including geralt from the start (she’s not someone who is icy at first, then warms up), makes me feel like we are never going to get ciri and yennefer at ellander. ever. i just can’t imagine it with this ciri and this yennefer from the netflix series.

[missaureus]

CRASH LANDING ON YOU

Number of Episodes: 16

Genre: Romance, Drama

Rating: 10/10

I actually finished this series prior to the quarantine season but let me just include it to the list because I invested so much emotions to it, to the point it left me handicapped.

Crash Landing on You has so much on its plate! Not to mention the controversy it faced, being criticized by the liberal party for romanticizing not their own kind. I truly appreciate how this production served something new to the audience! The disclaimer being rolled before each episode is a reminder how a vast mind can offer so much - a window to let us visually access how the life is in the world's most secretive country, North Korea. Sure, there are already dramas with North Korea as a setting but the overall portrayal of CLoY makes it loved by the general public.

Apart from the reason of casting big actors as leads, how the supporting roles in CLoY are being painted give a big impact to the whole canvas, even the hostiles and the helpless. The side stories are definitely not something to be skipped. Surprisingly, my favorite character is Seo Dan's mom. She exudes peak mom level! Actually, all mother figures radiate strong personalities! Among all, I appreciate Seo Dan's character development the most! She is definitely a revolution herself. Thank you for empowering women on screen! Lastly, the backbone of the story are the best squads in the history of kdrama, the soldier squad and the mom squad ㅋㅋThey are just pure and fun to watch, even their chemistry with Seri is good~

I honestly ran out of expectations from this drama. I was afraid how it is going to end but the greatest takeaway is that, each character reached their own resolution. Probably some might disagree re: Seo Dan and Seung Jun's tragedy. But the second male lead saying: I was wrong. When I die, there’s someone who will cry for me. The fact that it’s you makes me sad and happy. I guess that resolved his own conflict. *criii*

I have so much to say, to be honest because this drama is generous enough with insights. Highly recommended~ People saying this is too overrated need to sit down and repent lol!

ITAEWON CLASS

Number of Episodes: 16

Genre: Drama, Revenge

Rating: 9/10

First episode and it was already dark and bold. The plot caters a pool of societal issues such as class differences, abuse of power/injustices, transgender discrimination, and racism. This drama has a different aura compared to previous works of Park Seo Joon. Even the love story of the leads is not the typical lovey dovey~

The main character's determination to avenge his father's death is scalding hot throughout the episodes. It was as consistent as his hairstyle for years istg. Hard work does not betray, indeed. What struck me the most is when one character, Seung Kwon, who used to be Saeroyi jailmate, crossed paths again after years in the outer world. He narrated how everyone is given the same amount of time but the depth of time one spends is completely different compared to someone who does not set goals and persevere through time to get it.

No wonder how the rating of the show did good since the characters are effectively pulled off despite how tacky each personality is.

HI BYE, MAMA!

Number of Episodes: 16

Genre: Drama, Fantasy

Rating: 10/10

This series stirred the general public for a fact that the one portraying Seo Woo is actually a boy. The enormous attention it absorbed was also due to its heartbreaking storyline. It is not even an exaggeration that there is no episode that would not let you cry. It will give your tear ducts so much work.

It reflects a pool of family values and love. It will make you realize even more no matter what age you have, you will still need your mom. It will make you ponder how death can rob you in an instant. Midong, a shaman in the drama, once said: A woman who lost her husband is called a widow. A man who lost his wife is called a widower. And a kid who lost his parents is called an orphan. But there’s no word for a parent who lost their kid. Know why? It’s because no word can describe it. There’s no word in this world that can describe the excruciating pain. That is too devastating, I can't digest it.

I want to commend the three main characters so much! They deserve a round of applause each. Both Seowoo's moms deserve her. Yuri and Minjung are both selfless and strong, as mothers should be. It's true that being aggressive with their respective decision against the other without feeling sorry could have been done if one is mean towards the other. This drama has no antagonist and it is frustrating that no one can take the blame. Sadly, one mom must be hurt deeply in order to save the other mom. Shoutout to all stepmoms! Not all are evil, stop labeling them as one. Seowoo's dad, Kanghwa, for me, has the hardest character. He has been walking on eggshells. All his life, his shoulders are heavy. He endured so much and embraced unnecessary guilt. His walls are too high that made his relationship with others shaky. He is afraid for people to get hurt to the point being too considerate does not help him at all, making himself his own punching bag.

Hitting the resolution of the story is a painful process but it is the kind of hurt that liberated all characters involved. To be able to point out what went wrong and ungrasping it--- Yuri boldy telling his used-to-be husband "I am not yours anymore. You can let me go now." opened the door to silence the conflicts. Acceptance.

Literally, I cried how the epilogue gave a glimpse of the couple's life if Yuri was able to escape his death note. It only takes a second to change a life-changing event. But reaching the final episode was the real deal for my tear ducts ㅠ I seriously cried 90 minutes straight! I am so satisfied how it is wrapped up. No better ending no matter heartbreaking it is!

HE IS PSYCHOMETRIC

Number of Episodes: 16

Genre: Romantic Comedy, Fantasy, Thriller

Rating: 9/10

Why did I just watch it noW? ㅠ Wow, this is a masterpiece! The plot twist is insane! I love how the truth was unfold throughout the story. It was helluva stressful hahaha. Dark enough. Since I was hungry for an answer, I finished this one almost straight 16 hours!!! If you have watched While You Were Sleeping, which was about someone who can dream about the future, this series is a counterpart. The main lead can see the past by touching a person or object. This unique ability helped him solve cases, especially the event the greatly involved him in the past.

I commend Jinyoung for crying that much! Crazy he has lots of frame that in need of crying ㅋㅋㅋ Rise the flag of actor-idol! He is a natural, to be honest. His character, Ahn's funny antics always got me~ The female lead, Ye Eun has an uncanning resemblance of Yerim, hahaha it awed me while watching~

I am satisfied how it ended. Although I would to see more of their love story but in totality it is a must-watch definitely!

WHEN THE CAMELLIA BLOOMS

Number of Episodes: 40

Genre: Romantic Comedy, Thriller

Rating: 9/10

I love how this is filtered ♡ Very aesthetic that I want to live in Ongsan too! Life for the female lead is too complex. The plot revolves around straightening the strands of conflicts of her life. Dealing with her son who does not want her to have a boyfriend, who is short-tempered and acts maturely to protect her mom; dealing with her boyfriend who loves her unconditionally, who always believes in her and brings out the best of her; dealing with her ex husband, who wants to stand as a father to his child and fill in those years he missed to take care of him; dealing with her neighbors, who speak ill and put her in a bad light at first; dealing with her mother who made her an orphan and came back to her sick; dealing with her secret killer...

This runs for 20 hours and I could not remember the last drama I've watched this long but I savored it without any hint boredom. It ended but I still want mooore. I love how every character is given ample amount of screen time in the last episode. Everyone ended up happily. The went through so much, a happy ending is deserved by all. I was moved. I learned so much about life which is too complex to be completely understood.

Props to Haneul! His loud and vibrant acting is commendable!!! And the post-credit is so heartwarming ㅠㅠ I had a fair share of tears for this drama ㅠㅠ

BECAUSE THIS IS MY FIRST LIFE

Number of Episodes: 16

Genre: Drama, Romance

Rating: 9/10

I had two attempts to successfully finish this series and what a shame it took me this long? This series also moved me so much. It talks about views and opinion about living independently and marriage. Throughout, I was also questioning my decisions in life and effectively made me reflect.

Ji Ho who is 30, who is jobless, who is homeless. and Se Hee holds the answer to her problems. Se Hee who only loves his cat, who only values his house. Apart from having the same interest in beer and soccer, they mutually signed a contract that both benefitted them. Weird. How can you marry someone without involving emotions?

I also love the opposite personalities of the female lead's friends. Soo Ji who does not believe in marriage and described it as a tomb of a relationship. She is strong and independent. She does not take any guy seriously until Sang Goo happened. Ho Rang who dreams of being a housewife and a mother. She desperately wanted to marry his long-term partner because she is already hitting three decades. Sadly, his partner, Wonseok, expressed how he is not that ready yet and still starting to get a stable job.

I love how this drama ended! Heartwarming~

Part 1 | https://daisy-illusive.tumblr.com/post/162383689643

Part 2 | https://daisy-illusive.tumblr.com/post/169033240193

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I Need to Talk About “Problematic Faves” within TWDG [2/?]

 Backstories, the introduction of these characters and the importance of first impressions.

"Nice to meet’cha, I’ll be your disappointment for the evening.”

When I first started questioning why I like David as much as I do, I thought back to when we were first introduced to him in ep1. 

He didn’t leave the best first impression since the first words out of his mouth are along the lines of “You’re a real piece of shit.” Plus he, y’know, punches the shit out of Javi for not being there when their dad died. 

On one hand, fair enough to be distraught that your father just died and your brother was no where in sight... but, on the other hand, do you gotta get violent? 

Maybe it’s just because I’m an only child so I don’t understand how the whole sibling thing works, but punching your brother and then tossing him a beer before saying “I love you” seems.... not good? 

But, it’s also very telling in what David and Javier’s relationship is right from the start, and sets an idea for what’s to come throughout the rest of the season.

Say what you will about ANF: it’s a mess, it’s the worst season, whatever. But, when I tell you that it has one of the best openings to a game, I mean it. 

Everything about it is damn near perfect. Not only does it start right at the beginning of the apocalypse, but it tells us so much about our main protagonist and his backstory, it establishes the strained relationship he has with his brother and the rest of his family, and it introduces us to the walkers in a different light. 

I can’t watch the opening and NOT get chills every time little baby Mariana holds that cup in her hand and says, “Papi’s awake.” 

When they go see that Javi and David’s father is up and about after dying, it’s just chaos from there and I love it. 

Fight me all you want, but it’s an excellent start to the season. 

Unfortunately, ANF couldn’t keep that momentum going, but that’s a whole other discussion for another day. 

Back to David, something about the way he was initially presented stuck with me until we finally reunited with him at the end of ep2. 

So I thought back to other character introductions, how their backstories came into place, and how it affected their endgame.

A character’s introduction is crucial when it comes to storytelling, whether its subtle or in your face. You don’t want to give too much away,  but you want to give the viewer a taste of who this person is and what their importance is in this story in a more subtle but clever manner.

When introducing a character, you have the think about what their endgame is. How is this character going to change over the course of the story? How are the choices of this character going to affect our protagonist, the world around them, and the overall plot. 

Knowing these things can help you to sprinkle in little details within their introduction that tie into their endgame. 

When we first met Kenny back in s1, he was just this dude who wanted to get his wife and kid back to Florida, hop on a boat, and live the rest of the apocalypse with his family on the water. 

He was nice and showed concern over how Lee was doing with Clementine. He has a character design that gives away parts of his past as a fisherman before he tells us anything about it, and his accent [+overall voice acting and dialogue] tell us a lot about his upbringing prior to the events of s1.

We only got that glimpse of what was to come of his character after the walkers attacked Hershel’s farm. 

Shaun is stuck under the tractor with walkers pushing against the fence and Duck is grabbed. We as Lee are faced with the choice of who to help first: Shaun or Duck?

Regardless of our choice, Kenny obviously runs to save his son. He gets Duck out of harms way, but when Shaun begs for help, Kenny runs away, leaving him to be eaten by the walkers. 

This portrays the possibility of Kenny being cowardly, selfish, or someone who freezes up in moments of danger and runs.  It also sets up the guilt that lingers in his [and Duck’s] mind all the way through to ep3 and onward. 

When you think about Kenny, without knowing what happens to him in ep3, and you have to take a guess about what tragedy could take place to further his development, as well as bring that guilt full circle, what would you say?

Easy. He loses his family. Of course he does. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like it, but it makes sense that this would happen based on our first meeting with him at Hershel’s farm in conjunction with the themes of the game. 

So what does this have to do with him being a “Problematic Fave?” 

Uh, everything?

Ever heard of a “tragic backstory?” You don’t think such thing plays into why we loves characters like this?

Kenny the family man has a lovely wife and son. He does everything in his power to protect them, and it’s not enough. He was not enough to save his son, nor was he enough to save his wife.  

He lost them both within seconds of each other, being a witness to Katjaa’s suicide and the agonizingly slow death of his son, and he had to keep going in order to survive, even though he had nothing left.

In the beginning, Kenny was a regular John Doe like the rest of us. 

He had a job that kept him at sea a lot, he fell in love with a pretty vet and had a child with her. He thought this all would blow over and he could go back to Florida with his family and live peacefully. 

Season 1 is Kenny’s tragic backstory.

We got to live this tragedy with him, so when s2 comes around and we’re given his second first introduction in the series, we already have all this knowledge of what has happened to him, what his relationship was to Lee and Clementine, and the assumption that he was already dead.

Season 2 was what cemented a lot of people’s love and hate for him.

I have a theory that those who hate Kenny tend forget that 1st episode back in s1, choosing to solely focus on the Kenny from the meat locker in ep2 and all the negative repercussions that stemmed for our choice there, while those who love Kenny tend to look further back and take everything into account when analyzing his character. 

They sympathize with the man Kenny used to be, and are struck by this tragedy of who he became by the time s2 ended. 

Kenny from ep1 of s1 is not the same person as the Kenny from s2 ep5, and his journey is not only compelling from a character development standpoint, but a huge factor in why he is the favorite character of so many. Few characters are built up and developed that way he is. 

But can we say a lot of the same things about Kenny’s introduction in s2 that we can say about s1? Does it drop hints about what Kenny’s potential endgame could be? 

Yes, but it’s not quite as effective as it could’ve been. 

One of the first choices you make after meeting back with Kenny is whether or not you’ll sit with him at dinner. 

It’s a non-assuming choice, one that shouldn’t warrant any big repercussions, right? 

Except it’s the games way of presenting us with the choice of siding with Kenny under a more innocent pretense. It’s a taste of what’s to come. 

Based on our previous knowledge of him, as well as his seemingly good nature [one that reminds us of the beginnings of s1], we watch the way he presents himself to Clementine and decide if we want to sit with this old, nostalgic connection, or the new connections. 

Will you sit with Kenny, or will you sit with Luke and the cabin group? 

Will you side Kenny, or not?

This is what led everyone to believe that the final showdown would be between Kenny and Luke, and they really dropped the ball on what they built up here when they decided to replace Luke with Jane. 

Kenny’s part still holds fairly strong, but everything about it isn’t as well done as S1. 

And because I know I’ll be asked: as for his introduction in S3..... I don’t consider Kenny or Jane characters as much as I’d say they’re obstacles the writers had to throw in to give the illusion that our choices actually affected Clementine significantly when they really didn’t. 

He immediately dies in a car accident after being paralyzed and left to the walkers while Clementine runs away with a crying AJ. This does very little for the story of ANF other than to add fuel to Clementine’s own “tragic backstory.” 

So I don’t count it here. 

I want to talk about another great character introduction: Minerva.

Minerva is a special case compared to Kenny and other character introductions. We’re not plopped down in front of her like “Hi, I’m Clementine, nice to meet you, Minnie.” 

We actually spend two whole episodes only hearing about her, building her character up slow and steady, until we finally meet face to face in ep3. 

This complicates our first impressions of her, but only a bit. 

The game pretty much tells us Minerva’s backstory:

From what we’re told, Minerva was a sweet, musical girl who didn’t even like killing walkers. She loved her brother and twin sister. She and Violet were in a romantic relationship, and Violet gives us plenty to chew on about how lovely her voice was and how she was such a good friend. Her and Sophie’s “deaths” left everyone at the school devastated to the point where they actually started using their graveyard again. 

She almost seems too good to be true, don’t you think?

Then we find out she’s not dead. 

It turns out, Marlon and Brody lied about the death of the twins to cover up the fact that Marlon traded them away to the delta in order to save themselves and the rest of Ericson. The truth only comes out after Brody confesses everything to Clementine before her death dealt by Marlon’s hand.

So not only are we told that Minerva was this wonderful person, but that she was traded away with her twin sister to a group of people who, based on our first impression of Abel, are a dangerous threat that’s back for more of them.

Your mind swarms with the worst possibilities of what those people could have done to them, and you even question whether or not they’re still alive. 

Until we meet Lilly again and find out the truth: they turned them into soldiers, forcing them to fight in their war. 

Keep in mind that this is all apart of Minerva’s “tragic backstory” and we haven’t even truly been introduced to her yet. This is everything that the first two episodes have built up. 

We finally get our first glimpse of her in the trailer for ep3.

Everyone goes nuts. 

Minerva was so hyped up. Everyone was talking about how good she looked and how they couldn’t wait to meet her and learn what happened from her perspective. Everyone theorized about her role in the next two episodes and how maybe we can enlist her help in getting our friends back and reuniting her with Tenn and-

Then we get actually meet her.

Turns out, she is none of the things the game told us she was. 

Not anymore, at least.

She is not our friend or our ally and she is not going to help us get our friends back. She is fully brainwashed into the delta, and that’s the tragedy of Minerva’s first real introduction. 

She is a betrayal of everything we’ve been told due to the crime Marlon made of trading her away. We will never get to meet this Minnie we heard so much about. 

Instead, we get the husk that remains. 

This husk is one of our antagonists for the rest of the game. 

Knowing all of this, why do people still love her? Why are there fix-it fics and AUs where Minerva is “saved?” 

Because we all wanted to meet the Minnie we heard so much about, but instead, we got Minerva, the brainwashed soldier from the Delta who, under Lilly’s fucked up rule, killed her own twin sister in order to prove her loyalty to the group. 

We wanted Minerva to be on our side, to betray the delta for the school she once called home. But she didn’t.

Instead, she became our final antagonist of the whole series. 

Minerva, like Kenny, is a tragedy and we like that. 

I don’t mean that we like it as in “I’m so glad those horrible, traumatizing things happened to you!” but we like it in a way that it colors these characters gray. 

Suddenly, their behaviors are not portrayed the way they are just because they’re the “antagonist,” but because they’re a complex, three dimensional character. The game didn’t hand them to us and say “They’re evil, that’s all you need to know.” 

They took the time to flesh these two out in a clever way that got to us, either in a positive or negative light.

We are drawn to gray characters with interesting, albeit tragic, backstories that we can sympathize with.  

But, when you consider that this IS the apocalypse, doesn’t everyone have one of these “tragic backstories” in this series? Just like how everyone is actually a “Problematic Fave?” Does this really play into why we like them when it’s not even something unique to their character?

That’s a good point, so in order for us to like a character like this, do they have to have an even more intense, tear-jerking past than the rest in order to stand out?

Well... no. 

Nate’s the easy example for this one. 

I honestly don’t know what this dude’s about, and I don’t know if I even care, but somehow Nate tends to end up on everyone’s “Favorite Characters from 400 Days” list. 

Granted, he is a bit of a refreshing character to run into in this environment, what with him being so laid back, sarcastic, gross, and even sadistic in a way that’s mean to be comedic. 

But what do we even know about him or where he came from? 

Well, we know that he’s apart of the group that fan-favorite Eddie accidentally shot at, leading Nate to chase after him and Wyatt as a form of revenge. After that, he picked up Russell and headed back to a gas station where that old couple shot at them. 

The old man reveals that Nate’s been there before and attacked, stating that he’s here to finish them off. Nate denies this, but asks if Russell and him should finish them off and take all their stuff. 

From there, who the hell knows where this dude went. 

But that’s all we got. 

No “tragic backstory” from Nate, no implications of one, unless we missed the nonexistent detail that his previous group was his family or something. Even then, he doesn’t seem so concerned about the state of the world. He doesn’t have an issue picking up a random kid who could be dangerous. He was bored, after all. 

Nate is a character whose backstory has nothing to do with why people love him.  He’s an oddball out, in this case. 

It’s a different story when talking about how he’s introduced, though. This is where he has most in common with Kenny, Minerva, and all the rest of these “Problematic Faves”: He has a great impression. 

Well, assuming that you played Russell’s story before Wyatt’s, I suppose.

Nate’s likable, albeit insane, character isn’t dependent on who he was before or how he suffered. He’s a character who represents those in the world who thrive in times of disaster, choosing to take it as it comes, do whatever it takes to survive, and even get a sick thrill out of doing these problematic things. Odds are, life was boring before and now he truly gets to live. That’s all made clear in how he presents himself to Russell and the player. 

And.... I guess it worked? He is the “Problematic Fave” of a handful of people int he community, after all. 

Now that we’ve discussed three separate characters and their backstories, how they’re introduced, and how these two things affect their role within the story as well as our feelings towards them, I want to touch on one more thing before I go back to David. 

What does all of this say about the people who throw this annoying phrase of “Your fave is problematic” at those of us who find these characters with great backstories compelling? 

Do they not care or understand these backstories or what the introductions meant? Do they ignore them so that their perspective seems to be the correct answer? Are they so quick to judge based on the surface level that they don’t bother thinking twice about anything?

Do they feel that this character has wronged them, therefore they find they can’t bring themselves to tolerate them anymore? 

Or are they just being a bag of dicks who don’t care about anything other than berating anyone who dares oppose them and their opinions?

Well, yes and no to all of these possibilities. 

I’m sure there are people out there who don’t have a full grasp of what made Kenny the way he is in s2 because, well.... they’ve never lost a loved one. It’s easy to say “Get over it” to just about any troubling situation we’ve never found ourselves in. Even if we do feel for this character, sometimes it’s really only surface level because we don’t have a full comprehension of what they went through.

When I took acting back in high school, I had a teacher who could cry on the spot. We all assumed that he was just a good actor who could turn the tears on and off at any given moment, but then he explained how he did it. 

He lost his father in a drunk driving accident the same day he gave his last performance on stage as a high school senior. Whenever he needed to cry for a scene, this 58-year-old man would think back to the last conversation he had with his father that morning, and then about the moment he learned his father had died. 

Even in moments that didn’t require him to cry, but to develop a character and portray that convincingly, he pulled from that life experience. He also could sympathize with certain characters that we’d consider problematic while the rest of us were barely scratching the surface. 

He told us we need to come to terms with any tragedy in our lives and use it not only to create characters of our own, but to understand the ones most wouldn’t give a second glance to, and help relate ourselves to the real people around us. 

Since my high school days, I’ve experienced the loss of a longtime dog companion, and the alarming health decrease of two close family members. While I’ve never lost a child, a spouse, a parent, or a sibling, I find that a part of me can’t completely hate Kenny or even Minerva because I get it to an extent. 

So it makes me wonder if those who look at these backstories and still brush them off do.

But, there’s another argument to be made here. 

Maybe they do understand and that’s why they hate someone like Kenny. 

They have lost a loved one before or experienced some sort of trauma. They know about the grief, guilt, and anger that it can lead to. But, they also know it’s not an excuse to be mean, cold, or abusive to loved one. 

They know that such trauma can lead to lashing out, but the difference is between someone who knows what they’re doing is wrong, they need help, and they try to get it... and someone who using it to explain away why they’re broken and unfixable. 

Some see Kenny as someone who can’t change, or won’t change. That’s how they’ve interpreted him based on their experiences as someone who’s lived through these things, or been around someone who has. 

In their eyes, Kenny isn’t redeemable, “tragic backstory” or not. 

What about those who felt wronged by a character? 

I’ve come to the realization that this why I don’t like Minerva. 

She wronged me in the way that I had to watch either Louis or Tenn die because she showed up on the bridge with the illusion that she would take her brother to a better place. 

Louis, my favorite character across the entire series, and one that I’ve taken so much comfort in during the more recent darker moments of my life. Tenn, a character that I wanted to watch grow and become what characters like Ben or Sarah weren’t allowed to be come. 

Because of Minerva, the only way for both Louis and Tenn to survive is if I let Louis get kidnapped, resulting in him becoming mute due to the delta cutting out his tongue, I have to break AJ’s heart by telling him that I don’t trust him, and I have to watch Violet be devoured alive by a horde of walkers. 

I’m not willing to let Louis die, but I also don’t want him to lose his tongue, so in my route, I trust AJ to shoot Tenn and give Minerva what she wants. 

And no matter what? Clementine gets bit because Minerva sliced her leg apart, leaving her slow and weaker when trying to get away. I firmly believe that if Minerva hadn’t done that, Clementine wouldn’t have been bitten for the sake of “parallel.” 

It’s a situation that could’ve been avoided if Minerva hadn’t showed up, but her will to see and kill Tenn was strong enough for her 

People who love Minerva might not see it that way, or if they do, they’re a lot more forgiving than I am.

Believe me when I tell you that I can see this being a reason for the hate towards any character like this. 

Like Kenny. Lot’s of Kenny talk. 

I know there are those out there who loved Kenny in s1, but by the time s2 ended, they couldn’t stand him because s2 wronged them in their portrayal of Kenny and what he had become. This wasn’t their Kenny. 

To finish this segment off, allow me to answer that last question I posed:  Are they just being a bag of dicks who don’t care about anything other than berating anyone who dares oppose them and their opinions?

Of course, then there are the children who like to fight. The answer for why these people hate such characters is because they think of themselves as... let’s say, Batman. 

This community needs a hero to vanquish anyone who likes or enjoys these problematic characters and it’s a job only they can do! They’re the hero for sending that anon hate to your inbox!

This is an excuse to be a dick and we all know it. 

So, what does all of this Kenny, Minerva, and Nate talk amount to? 

It helped me in understanding a reason in why I like David so much.

I already knew that I enjoyed learning more about who he was prior to the outbreak, as well as having light shed on his and Javi’s relationship, but not in the way I initially thought. 

You see, ANF is different in the way that it feeds backstory to the player- through flashbacks. At the beginning of each episode, we play as Javi in the past before the apocalypse happened. 

From there, we get to see what David was like compared to what he is now, but they tell it to us through Javi’s point of view and we have to pick apart his character through that forced perspective. 

From the flashbacks alone, as well as ep1′s beginning, I put together that:

David was a single father trying to raise two incredibly young children. We’re never told what happened to his first wife. I used to assume that they ended up divorced, but now I’m more on board with the idea that she’s actually dead and that’s why David has full custody of Gabe and Mariana. 

Putting the pieces together now, it makes sense of why he married Kate when they’re clearly not compatible, and why he has these high expectations of her. David’s mother and father are still together, and with family being a big theme in ANF, it leads me to believe that David felt his children needed a mother figure in their lives in order for the family to be complete. He needed a wife. 

While I think he did love Kate, and she obviously loved him enough to marry him in the first place, David didn’t love her the way he should have. 

Kate tells us that their marriage was fucked up. We clearly see that given how she reacts when she sees David again, as well as when David himself confesses that things aren’t working out between them and that’s why he wants to go away.

They’re always arguing, he has those expectations of her as his wife and she’s fed up with it, and things are just.... not working. Of course they’re not. 

He wanted a wife to make him feel more complete, as well as give his children that mother figure. He wasn’t out there trying to find the love of his life. For all we know, he already had that with his possibly dead first wife [note: shoot, add “possible dead wife” to the list of shit David’s got going in his backstory for future reference]. He thought that he could try and change Kate from who she is because he was desperate for this to work. 

David and Kate should NOT have gotten married, but I can understand the stress David was under with having to raise two children as a single father while dealing with untreated trauma from being a soldier, his confidence in himself as a normal human-being deteriorating due to his “I’m a soldier and I can’t function here” mentality, working a shitty job while going back and forth on whether or not he should go sign up again, having a strained relationship with an irresponsible brother who lost his baseball career due to a gambling addiction yet still never being around when David needed him. 

David marries Kate and things don’t fix themselves. 

And then Javi does come around, and David doesn’t know how to act or what to say. 

Then his father keeps from them that he has cancer and he’s not planning on getting treatments for it. 

When his father loses his battle with cancer, everyone is there except Javier. David’s there holding his hand while his dying father asks for Javi.  

I get why David’s upset that his father isn’t seeing him because he’s looking for Javi. Is it selfish to feel jealous or heartbroken when it’s your father that’s dying? Yeah, but it’s a realistic feeling. Most of us have felt some level of this but don’t want to admit it because we don’t want to see ourselves in a negative light. It’s easy to look at David and be like “What a selfish prick.” 

But... why wasn’t Javi there? Everyone makes it clear that he should have been there, no excuse. Everyone was there for hours, for days but Javi was no where to be found. This plays beautifully into Javier’s character growth throughout the season, but what about David? 

Compared to the “tragic backstories” of Kenny and Minerva, David’s seems... a little mundane, huh? 

He has problems focused more in the real world rather than the apocalypse world. 

Every bad thing we’ve ever learned about Kenny and Minerva happened after the walkers. 

Plenty of people have served in the military and dealt with trauma rooted in their service.

Plenty have either been divorced or lost their spouse, were left as a single parent to raise the kids they love but are afraid they’ll fuck up if they do it alone. How about those who are apart of an unhappy marriage? 

Nearly everyone has worked a job they hate and know the toll it can take on your mental health. 

Left in the shadow of a more successful sibling, no matter how hard they try to be on that same level and earn that love, too. 

A parent with cancer, or another life-threatening illness.

Feeling as though they can’t function because they’re not built to live in such a humanly “normal” world, eager to find where they belong and have a fulfilling purpose. 

Everything David has going on prior to the apocalypse is real and relatable, and I like that this is the route they took with him. Rather than having him be like Kenny, who seemed to live happily with very little issue and only began to suffer when the apocalypse came, they took a route similar to Lee and Javier. 

“Things weren’t great before.” 

That being said, do any of these things justify David’s bad behavior towards Javi, Kate, Clementine, and everyone else? Does it justify the bad things he ends up doing during the events of ANF.

Hell no! 

David can be a real prick and amazing backstory/introduction or not, I am not okay with that!  

But look.

Listen.

ANF is such a mess. It’s a disaster. 

It’s ‘s2 mess,’ but on crack.

I firmly believe that David is one of the better things to come out of it, except he got severely fucked over by just how terrible ANF’s writing could be.

They started off so good. David is established and he has some of the better character moments in the entire game, but it’s all buried underneath the bullshit. 

They actually gave us David, who dealt with a lot of “normal” shit to try and find his place and be happy, made him have problems that we can see ourselves having and relate to, making us question ourselves, and then they gave him what he wanted. 

David met up with Ava, he found Clint and Joan, and they created a community together where David got to be this leader with a purpose. He got what he wanted at the sacrifice of his children, wife, brother, and parents, something he didn’t even have a choice in. 

They had all the right ideas... 

I love the different take to David’s backstory. I love the way he was introduced in ANF. I love the way these things managed to weave themselves throughout ANF despite it being...... ugh.

People who hate David, like the one who listed all of those lovely attributes of his in the previous part, think he is nothing but a whiny, selfish, asshole because of the way he’s introduced and portrayed in flashbacks and... I disagree to a point. 

He is an asshole a lot of the time, especially when you don’t side with him [heh, sound familiar] but that doesn’t mean he’s not a compelling, relatable character to study and infer about. And y’know what? I like that he’s not Mr. Nice Guy. Someone like him wouldn’t be. He is a person who can nice moments, and he has bad moments. It doesn’t excuse the shit he does, but it at least adds a depth to it that I appreciate. 

I’m mature enough to recognize these his bad behaviors, acknowledge them, and infer more about his character without makes excuses and pretending that him having a tough time means it’s okay for him be that way. 

I can see what they were going for as far as his endgame, but I’ll talk more about that later. 

As for the conclusion of this long winded segment: 

A character’s backstory, first impression, execution of developing these small seedling details into an overarching story plays an important role in the growing love of a character, problematic or not. Both love and hate can be stemmed from the maturity and knowledge of the viewer based on how relatable and sympathetic they find these ideas. 

[Continued in 3/?]

[reversemoon255]

1t's Never 0ver

Hot take: Brain is the first Reiwa Rider. Still, for the first Reiwa series, Kamen Rider Zero-One was a great start. I've seen a surprising amount of kids shows tackle the idea of treating robots like people, and this show handles it pretty decently.

The Good: Aruto was surprisingly funny and competent. I was optimistic when they presented him as an unfunny comedian turned CEO in the preview material, but I'm impressed by how well he turned out, with full credit to the actor for nailing most of his deliveries. One of my big problems with both Build and Zi-O was that I couldn't always get behind the characters, but Aruto was definitely a step up, being the first Rider since Drive to really grab me.

Considering we just came off Zi-O, with a large cast of stoic characters, it's amazing how much Izu, the emotionless robot, pulled it off better. (Actually, credit to all the Humagear actors for outstanding mono-emotional performances. They all did very well.) I think a big part of that was the fact that they allowed her to make jokes and do silly things with a straight face, instead of being purely dour. And it was an excellent payoff, seeing her slow progression from a very basic personality to a much more lively one as the series progressed.

I really liked Fuwa, and his was another character that underwent several shifts during the run of the story, those the moments where he started turning are more evident than Izu's (but he's also not portrayed as very bright, so that makes sense). His entire arc is him overcoming his hatred for Humagears, eventually reaching the point where he wants to help them, with the final expression of this being him declaring his will to carry on Naki's dream and using his Progrise Key to transform. And he was just pretty fun, being the serious character who likes bad jokes, and often ends up the butt of them himself.

Yua is a troublesome character. There was a lot of untapped potential there that I feel wasn't reached, but there was some good, too. Her arc was seeing Humagear as people rather than tools, which isn't as well executed as Izu or Fuwa as she took a back seat for about two show arcs, but is ultimately satisfying. Most of her development in this department seems to comes from her interactions with Izu, but her experiences during the Fire Fighter training were also a big push. And her resignation was amazing. I feel most of her issues could have been solved if they didn’t push her so hard in promotional material at the beginning.

I disliked Gai for most of this show, which I think was the point. He was a total butt for the majority of the runtime, but it's also amazing how quickly I 180'd on him after his dog showed up. He was very functional, and I wasn't really interested in him as a character until, again, Dog Thouser showed up.

Jin was definitely the villain I had the most investment in throughout the show, even if that started waning near the end when he was just sitting around and letting Horobi do whatever he wanted. Still, he was very similar to Izu, being a Humagear that we see slowly obtain his own singularity and ideals, but taken from a different perspective. He was also a lot of fun. I've found my favorite characters are usually the ones with positive attitudes and outlooks, even if he was aiming for mankind's extinction.

I know a lot of people like Horobi, but it took me a while to warm up to him, and even then I wasn't the biggest fan until his changes in the final episodes. When Gai replaced him as the main antagonist of the series, I wasn't sad to see him go, but I am glad he eventually came back because they did good things with him. It's also cool how he sparks Jin's first major development with his death, and Jin sparks his final changes with his own.

I found myself very invested in the story, especially since this series was very good at not letting a status quo settle for very long. As soon as the Aruto VS A.I.M.S dynamic was set up, he reveals himself to them. As soon as Metsuboujinrai.Net is defeated, Gai shows up. After 4 "nice" contests between humans and Humagear where the humans learn something through the competition, we get one where the villains win and Aruto is ousted as CEO. And I think that was to the show's benefit. A lot of Rider shows will wait half the show before a shakeup, but Zero-One was constantly keeping the viewer interested with new story lines and revelations.

Oh, and every belt chant was amazing.

The Bad: Going in the same order, Yua had a lot of unused potential. I remember how much hype her character had out the gate, being the first female Rider to start a series. She even got a form change, which is a first. However, she only got one form change, and as I mentioned when discussing LupinRanger and Ryusoulger, power-ups in Tokusatsu shows are often used as physical representations of a character's growth. Yua's second form showed up before episode 10. Yes, she also had Fighting Jackal later in the show, but that was a monster form; it's made to represent her fully giving in to Gai’s will, which is why we don't see it after she quits ZAIA. I would have loved if she had used Fighting Jackal in the ShotRiser and had gotten a new form as a representation of her moving on from those painful memories, or forgiving Gai. It sucks, because we got a ton of short-use Riders and forms in this series, so you'd think they could swing it. Just in the last few episodes, we got Arc-One, Arc-Scorpion, Vulcan Japanese Wolf, and Eden. At this point, I think Toei's just not sure what to do with a female Rider. At least they treated her better than Poppy and Nico.

I really didn't like Gai. And I know that's the point, but there's a difference between there being a character you're supposed to hate for the whole show and a character you're supposed to come around on. You can have a despicable character become a good guy, but there has to be something about them that makes you want them to become one in the first place, otherwise it's just jarring. Dan Kuroto is a great example of this. He was also a despicable character, but he had this humorous over-the-top attitude to him that made him fun to watch, and you want him to join the main cast to see how that persona bounces off everyone else. Gai didn't have anything like that; he was just dislikable. If they had hinted at all to his past, it would have worked, but they waited until the episode where he face turns to do it. And that just doesn't work.

This is also a personal nitpick, but when they were teasing stuff for the finalé, I thought Aruto was going to use Rocking Hopper, not Realizing Hopper. Thematically, that would have been awesome, but I'm ok with what we got.

There were also quite a few episodic plots I'd wished they'd covered in regards to the Humagears. We covered quite a broad range of topics with them, but there were a few big things they missed. One of them is about Humagear choosing new careers. It's cool that Humagear have dreams, but they're all in regard to their predisposed profession. The manga assistant wants to write a manga, the coaches want to teach the best athletes, etc. But no one wants to change jobs. We don't get a farmer Humagear that suddenly wants to become an artist or anything, and I would have liked to see how Aruto would handle that. And what about love? It was briefly brought up, but what happens when a Humagear falls in love with a human? Or when two Humagear fall in love? How did they have sentient robots and not talk about love!?

I also can't help but wonder what the show would have been like if we hadn't lost 4 episodes due to current events. I have a feeling we might have had a Gaim Finalé situation with Eden and that's why they had the costume on hand. Who knows; maybe we'll get some interviews down the road that will give us some insight.

And lastly, spoilers, I want top talk about the death of Izu, because that's the one thing I see the most that people disliked about the ending. It's not that she died at all, because we've had that before with characters like Ankh, but because Aruto created a new, identical Izu, with the same name, and proclaimed he was going to retrain her.

I had to think on this for quite a while, but I'm ok with this. Don't get me wrong, I would have preferred an ending where Izu was restored like Jin, or where Horobi becomes Aruto's new assistant, but the thing is this was foreshadowed. In the early episodes, every time Metsubojinrai.Net corrupts a Humagear, and Aruto or Fuwa or Yua has to destroy it, what happens? The owner gets a new Humagear of the same model and retrains it. Aruto is following his company’s policy. And yes, it’s painful. You can see him well up as he’s reminded of the first Izu, but he smiles and moves forward.

There is a form of Japanese pottery called kintsukuroi. In it, you take a piece of broken pottery, and along the cracks you piece everything back together with gold. It's not an easy process, it takes time, and the cracks are still there, but the end result is far more beautiful that what you started with. Aruto is always going to remember the first Izu, and living with the second Izu is going to be painful, but there’s the potential for this new relationship to be even greater than the one he started with. Or at least that’s me reading too much into it.

The Next: (At the time of writing this,) Saber premieres this weekend. Love the designs, as I'm big on the knight motif. I think the belt gimmick is cool, and might get it if they reveal some interesting power-up books. I think a story about story is very fun, very meta, could be great, but could also go horribly wrong if not given to the right writer. We'll have to see. After how well Zero-One was handled, I'm excited to see how the rest of Reiwa will go. They probably won't all be winners, but I enjoyed most of Neo Heisei, with only the last few entries being bad-to-ok in my book, so here's to hoping we'll get a repeat of that trend, without repeating their themes.

Overall, this was a good season. Not my favorite, but certainly in the upper half of the show's library. Looking forward to the movie, whenever that happens. Looking forward to Saber, too.

"A Rider Kick to the sky turns to take off toward a dream!"