#also i tried to hard to convey personalities here but i have no idea how successful that was

[pyrriax]

i love remembering that i Can just draw my silly lil guys if i so desire.

i just realized i don't think i've ever posted about / mentioned tyler before. so. yeah, that's tyler. demon dog. the og sona who i cannot get rid of and just keep bringing back, lol

[theogm-art]

Im going around asking my favorite mech artists "how to get better at drawing mechs", so now i'm coming to you! What is your approach to drawing mechs, what was your path into learning how to draw em? And how could someone get better at drawing mechs? Thank you for your time and attention

Hello ! ^^

For me, I started drawing mechs 4 years ago. I was just starting to draw again after my big depression era (like 4-5 years without drawing anything after artschool) =w= I kinda had to start from scratch. So, to help me, I started drawabox.com .

I did the first lesson, pulling lines and drawing straight, which helped me a lot gaining confidence in my hand. I ended up drawing 250 boxes . It took me something like a month and a half, doing 10 boxes in day, not everyday, but most of the week.

This was important, especially with mechas, because it teaches you to draw in 3d, to give volume to your shape, and because most mechanical stuff is pretty much boxes piled on top of each others, it's pretty geometric.

At that point, I was already dusting myself of the rust in my drawing muscles, but what really finished it is doing the March of Robots 2020.

I did like 25 mechs in almost as many days, until I started getting comms. And since then, I haven't stopped. ^^

(also a year later, I got a dm from Tom/Abaddon and got hired to do mechs for LancerRPG x)

Of course, between all that, I did sketches, studies. I tried doing 100 hands but didn't finish it. etc

But for mecha, specifically, I think one of the first things you have to understand is that it is a language of symbols, that is different from organic forms. This obvious difference between mechs and humans, one could say, is that humans are soft volumes and mechs are hard surfaces. But , not only is that not necessary the case (you can draw a mech soft and circular), but it is more about filling in with symbols, shortcuts that bring to mind the idea of the mechanical.

I am not an engineer. Most artists that do mechas and robots and vehicles and hard surface are not engineer and/or do not have that knowledge. (some do but my point is it's not required). Which means that, as an artist you have to fake it by learning those symbols, that bring the IDEA of a mechanical form. This is about using the brain of the spectator/viewer, their knowledge of what mecha looks like, so that you can meet halfway.

You learn those forms by studying. There is no shortcut here. You have to practice, not only your hand, but also your eye, in looking at your favorite piece of mecha media, and replicate them until you can pull them from your brain without reference. (always use refs tho, you don't have use 100% of your brain all the time.)

I am a very DETAIL-oriented artist. It's one of the thing people compliment me on and/or hire me for. It's far from being the only approach in mecha (plenty of great artists doing great concept arts of mecha with few details) . The more details, the clearer you'll have to be, and the more time you'll have to spend on the art. Especially lineart for me. BUT details help a lot convey those symbols and forms and shapes that immediately call MECHA in the brain of the viewer.

Another thing about mecha, is that since it is NOT organic, there is 1) lots of repetition of shapes and symbols, which you are 100% allowed to copy-paste (i do that all the time) , that makes you gain a lot of time.

and 2) SYMMETRY (it's not always the case, you can have an asymmetric design which can be far more interesting) because it's a robot or a mecha or whatever, designed therefore by human hand in-context. Symmetry makes it harder for me, personally, drawing a 3/4 angles or in perspective etc, symmetry is tough. Symmetry of shapes from one shoulder to another, symmetry of details etc. That's probably one of the harder part when you work in 2D. Cause you have to understand perspective and foreshortening and all that.

But yeah, because it's inorganic, hard surface requires a better understanding of perspective, because straight lines are easier to read therefore the viewer will have an easier time at clocking wonky mistakes.

I could go on, about design and function, and aesthetic. but i'll stop there. This is basically how i started plus some other stuff. The rest you'll pick up along the way.

Thank you for asking ! =w=b

[chenouttachen]

i'm back to be angry at episode 5 alan before i steamroll ahead to eps 6 and 7. picking up straight after the world's worst staff meeting, alan follows jeff out of the garage. and leads with THIS!

after having the audacity to grab a (rightfully) livid jeff, alan tells him to let the others apologise without even apologising HIMSELF.

jeff doesn't say 'they don't trust me', it's 'everyone', and alan is included in that. i've said it before, but jeff just opened up to alan, trusted him, and had that trust thrown back in his face.

and alan keeps putting his foot in it. he tries so hard to be on everyone's side that he doesn't recognise that he keeps choosing the worst dialogue options each time. what he should have said is 'i trust you, i want you to keep working here'. instead he rationalises the other's actions, which wouldn't be a bad thing if he also told jeff that he understands his side. but he doesn't.

jeff continues to stand up for himself; he's not going to apologise to this man for doing his job. this entire situation is unfair and he's not going to pull any punches making sure alan understands that. he rightfully points out the biases and prejudices of the x-hunter team (because that was a setup through and through).

alan knows he's losing jeff in this moment. he's getting desperate to make him stay, but he has no idea how to do that. he thinks that dean and way are the problem, that if they apologise it will be enough. but he still hasn't done that himself.

and it breaks my heart, because jeff is ready to turn around and hear alan out. he's almost willing to overlook alan's lack of apology. but then alan keeps talking. and it doesn't come from a malicious place; alan wants jeff to understand the other's perspectives. but it cuts deeper than he intends to. by blaming jeff and his introverted nature, he conveys to jeff that there's something wrong with him, that he can't be trusted purely because he doesn't operate with the same boundless energy as the rest of x-hunter. and as his words sink in, we see jeff accept them and shut down.

it hurts jeff to realise that the one person who has made an effort to get to know him... doesn't know him at all. we know that jeff cares deeply about people - he loves charlie and is going through with this plan because he's tired of seeing people get hurt. but the wall that he's had to put up because of his past and his power hurts him too. to know that alan (unknowingly) condemns him for protecting himself, it's too much.

jeff has been so strong this entire time, clear in his knowledge that he's done nothing wrong. he's refused to apologise or stoop to way's level, but he can't do that anymore. because he isn't strong in his belief in himself. yes, he knows his skills and his worth as a worker, but as a person? he's lived his whole life as cattle being raised for profit, and he doesn't know how to reconcile with that, or how to speak about it. he's only just learning how to function in society with a power that keeps him inherently isolated. he's pushed himself so far out of his comfort zone in his short time in the garage, trying to protect these people, but in jeff's eyes they cannot accept him. not because he's a bad worker, but because of who he is as a person. and all he can do in the face of that is apologise.

but it is like that. alan has failed to step up for jeff in his time of need, and has still failed to apologise. jeff realises in this moment, that alan won't. and he can't take any further disappointments.

when jeff leaves, it physically pains alan. there's a part of him, one he can't acknowledge yet, that wants to do right by jeff, wants to protect and support him. and in one evening he's done more harm than he could have thought possible.

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

Can we have a deeper analysis in Sabo's shape language study please? It's amazing how you make him give different vibes with just his hair and I like to understand how does that work.

Oh. I'm SO glad you asked.

(The Post In Question)

Okay so this isnt the first post ive made about shape language,

Here are the others:

ASL Shapes Strawhats Shapes

i'm just gonna copy and paste the definition i have for shape language from those posts here so i dont have to write it all again.

Shape language is defined as “a concept used in art and animation to communicate meaning based on shapes we are familiar with” (source). This concept uses circles, triangles, and squares to convey an idea of the “personality” of the design without using any words.

In designs, using circles and rounded edges in your silhouette and detailing gives the design a soft and squishy look. They tend to be harmless, approachable, or changeable.

Designs using squares gives the design a solid, sturdy, and strong look. They are supportive, reliable, and inflexible

Lastly, triangle designs are sharp and directional. They are dynamic, dangerous, and unpredictable.

That's base level but here's more in depth description of each design for ya:

this one is up first!

You may notice how in this design, his hair isnt in large clumps like the others are. His hair falls delicately and waves gently with little to no hard angles.

In this design, i was trying to convey the idea of "he wasnt born to fight, but he's molded himself into someone who will." I tried to depict that by making his hair all light and feathery, his facial features soft and rounded, but also showing how he's modified his body in a pointy and aggressive way.

I didn't want to only go hard edges with the piercings though because much like he's strayed from his mold of being delicate, he's also strayed from his mold of being a cruel noble. so some of his piercings are rings, AKA: Circles.

You may also notice the different in how I've drawn the collars of these guys. the collar of this Babo's black coat falls softly, and its' arc is rounded. The shoulders don't have any padding and it rounds at the corner.

This Man Is Round.

Next up is this Freak

This is supposed to be Triangle Him.

His hair is in larger, hard angled clumps. Indicating that he probably cut his hair himself. He did... greattt. I already headcannon him as someone who cuts his own hair, but i dont think this one ever gets any better at it.

The hard angles on his teeth, his scar, his jaw, his collar, that line i forgot to erase on the left, and his coat all give indication that this guy is Dangerous and you probably shouldnt mess with him.

I didn't have any real deeper meaning to this version, I just wanted to make him look as opposing as I could. this guy is "what you see is pretty much what you get."

Even though he doesn't have a lot of deeper meaning, I think this one is my favorite of the designs. I really love these colors on him and his hair was really fun to draw. I think I wanna draw him again at some point. I think this version of him would be very funny paired with Koala. I'm chuckling thinking about it:

Koala and her Armed and On Fire kindergartener

And lastly this guy

Sabo's base design is very rectangle coded. From his Hat, to his face shape, to his coat. So this version was very easy to make as I didn't actually need to change that much!

I think maybe I could've made his design a little more complex? But also I think there is a beauty in simplicity for this one. He looks straightforward, reliable, and kind. He seems like the kind of guy who gets his hands dirty, not because he likes doing it, but because he does what he must for the greater good.

I really love his hazel eyes, too. I think it brings a nice warmth to his design that is really nice.

Additional comments:

I love talking about this stuff. I love designing. I love art. I love drawing so much it's so fun

Everytime I get to sit down and make some funky doodles my brain feels like 🧠🤸🧘🧜🧚🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🧚💃💃💃💃💃💃

If you got this far thanks for reading :)

I usually have a description for my designs and my choices and stuff and I forgot to do one for this post, it makes me happy to see that it was missed :)

[lightlycareless]

Hii! I just wanted to let you know that I'm a big fan of your work!

I started of with discovering your "First it Hurts" fic on ao3, then being updated to your every post cus I look forward to every fic or hc's you make!

Also, I loved the valentines special post 💗💗 BUT IM SO CURIOUS ABOUT NAOYA'S LETTER AHH, anyways I just wanted to let yknow that I love your fics and the way you write Naoya! I hope you continue writing fics about him since there's a scarcity on Naoya fics HAHAHA, but I dont mean to pressure you! Please take your time, and I'm eagerly waiting for your new fics!

Hello!!

Awww thank you so so so much!! I'm so happy you're liking it so far!!!!! 🥺❤️ akajghajkghasgjas as well as my oneshot :>

Also, I'd like to apologize for the delay; I'm slowly working my way through requests, the main fic, and the weird schedule for my job 💀 I greatly appreciate your support and patience 🥺❤️ Also, I'll be writing Naoya fics for like, ever. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SEE HIM ANIMATED OMG ALL THE INSPIRATION.... gotta keep this small part of the fandom alive!!!!

Now... to the letter.... I feel like it would've gone something like this:

warnings: naoya is a prick, no surprise. but... he has feelings, just that he doesn't know what to do with them. this is the oneshot anon is referring to.

Happy reading!

Y/N.

I didn’t think letters were still written in these times, outside of elderly people and the socially inept, but I suppose that for certain occasions they are still necessary.

By the time you get this you’ll probably already have an idea of where I’m going with it, yet I’ll still write it down.

I cannot deny that you came onto my life in the most unexpected way, not necessarily the best either.

I didn’t like your siblings, and I still don’t. I think of them to be nothing but highly annoying, arrogant, especially your sister who seems to parade herself around Gojo and the privilege she had of knowing him.

Your brother is somewhat… calmer in that aspect, he tends to keep to himself, and I respect that. Everyone should be like that, you know?

But I’m not here to talk about them, of course, I’m here to talk about you.

When I heard that you were going to enroll, I wasn’t thrilled, I genuinely thought great, another nuisance was to grace the school grounds—I already had this preconceived idea of you and was more than ready on keeping it… until I finally I saw you.

I’m sure you’ve heard this a thousand times already, someone like you must’ve undoubtedly… but you are the prettiest girl I have ever seen in my life. Your beauty is so mesmerizing, I couldn’t believe it was real—anyone thinking otherwise is either blind, stupid, or lying. Or maybe all at the same time.

I didn’t accept those feelings at first, tried my hardest to ignore them and go back to disliking you, find a reason to hate you and move on.

But I couldn’t, and when I heard your laughter, saw your smile, or the cute way your eyes twinkled whenever you were excited about something, I knew it was impossible for me to disregard it any further.

My feelings for you had only grown more and more as time passed, and now, I find it physically impossible to contain them, but still hard to express them to you in person.

So, I resorted to this letter, which I hope will be able to accurately convey what I feel for you, if only for a fraction, until then.

What I mean to say is… If you let me, Y/N, I can show you how special you are to me.

I can give you all that you want in the world—it doesn’t matter what, whether it being money, or the stars themselves—I will not spare any expense to give you what you deserve, and I shall assess that every day of my life until my death, starting with the gifts I’ve sent you today, alongside those waiting in your dorm.

I shall call you mine. No other man will be able to lay a hand on you, and I won’t allow any other woman to do the same to me either. My eyes will solely keep to you, and you alone; I expect you to do the same.

And in turn… I don’t ask much, except that you see me the same cheerful, adorable way you see others when happy, the one that has me completely enthralled, unable to keep it off my mind for more than one second, and… accept me into your heart.

If you so decide it appropriate to get to know each other better, you know where to find me. I shall await your response.

Naoya.

As you can see, Naoya isn’t overtly romantic or good with words (I mean, the slander at the beginning lol) but he tries, as genuinely as possible—his honesty is a virtue to appreciate lol. Also, he was TREMBLING while writing this, if not crying hahaha he really almost died when he wrote you were the prettiest girl in the whole while world.

He’ll become more comfortable with it, of course, he’s a man that can’t hold himself when it comes to talking. But it’s nice to see him all shy for once 😊

Akgjakogja I’m so happy you all liked this little oneshot—I know it was quite the bomb to drop on valentine’s day, but I swear, it’s a happy ending story :>

If there’s more you want to know about that oneshot/au just let me know, I’ll be more than happy to indulge!!

Take care, and hope to see you soon!!!

[skizwillsuffice]

Seasonal Depression- a comic

Summer- I’m thriving just like you wanted me to, right alongside the Thing you left behind.

Fall- I’m living as if you’re still here. The Thing you left behind is starting to look just like you.

Winter- I’m feeling warm and comfortable inside my home, but that Thing chills me to my very core, as if I were sleeping out in the snow.

Spring- I’m smiling as best as I can, but the colors that once comforted me now threaten to drown me. The Thing that once stood as my companion is now replaced by your name etched in stone.

The seasons keep flying by and I can never seem to disembark from this track. Does time truly heal all wounds, or was that yet another lie you told me?

This one’s a little more personal for me. I lost someone very dear to me in the Spring and every year I feel as though I ride the same roller coaster. Ten years is still not enough time to grieve. Some days I still have no idea how to grow up or live life without them.

I tried to convey my feelings through this comic. The “Thing” is a symbol of grief. Summer is easy, I feel lively and awake, like I can do anything and pursue whatever my heart desires. There’s still a lingering shadow of the person I lost but I’m happy to let it loiter in my life. Fall is good too, but I think about it much more frequently, and I’m reminded of it more with birthdays and holidays. Sometimes I see things or hear things that make me think that person is there, only to instantly get reminded that they aren’t. Winter sucks ass, I mostly hate it, but there are still things to smile about! It’s cold and I can’t get warm or feel comfortable in my own skin. I’m terrified of loss so I’m anxious about how I treat those around me. Holidays are incredibly hard, but the people I’m with help me a lot. Spring is warm, bright, and colorful, but it’s also a reminder that another year went by without that person, and that I will never get another year until I join them in the ground. Everything reminds me of them, but sometimes it’s not a bad thing. Cherish them and make them proud if the grief is eating you alive. Don’t sit idle for too long.

So, since it’s (almost) Spring, I’m channeling my grief through Emmet. Stay strong buddy, we’ll ride these tracks together 💚

[xeriprincess]

Ateez as love languages (receiving)

I kind of went off on some of them, deepest apologies in advance

Hongjoong

Acts of service

As the leader, Joong takes care of his members on both a professional and personal level. He loves taking matters into his own hands and knowing they rely on him, and he's damn good at it. When the others are going through hard times, he'll emotionally support them as best he can.

However, he also loves to sit back and be pampered for a change. Despite loving his role as leader, there's no denying how much mental energy it requires of him.

So when you clean up his work desk, bring him a coffee to work, or take off his makeup after a long day, he WILL melt in your hands.

Not needing to worry about practical things, knowing there's someone looking out for him, is what makes him feel loved.

Seonghwa

Quality time

Hwa puts tremendous effort into keeping up his appearance- both physically and emotionally. Making sure he's putting his best foot forward is extremely important to him, but is obviously not an easy task.

For Hwa, some quality down-time with you is invaluable.

Late night walks, movie nights and roadtrips.

Being in an environment where he doesn't need to watch his words, worry about how he looks, or worry about your perception of him is his personal utopia.

Yunho

Words of affirmation

Yunho is a moodmaker through and through- he has a bright personality, great sense of humor, and good people skills. Brightening the mood and making any given situation more fun is something he does both consciously and unconsciously.

He takes great pride in bringing joy to others, so when his efforts are acknowledged by you, Yunho really feels complete.

Affirming his positive qualities is the best thing you could do for Yunho- he wants to know you see him as good.

Yeosang

Physical touch

Sang is a very nonverbal guy when it comes to his emotions, love included.

I'm inclined to give him the most silent love language, which allows him to receive affection without leaving his comfort zone.

Shoulders touching sitting side by side, light kisses, fingers grazing each other under the table.

He'd look at you with sparkles dancing in his eyes, conveying more than a thousand words ever could.

San

Physical touch

On the other end of the spectrum we have San.

If Yeosang is light touches and eye contact, Sannie is tight embraces and desperate kisses.

He has no problem expressing himself with words, but feels the most secure in your embrace. No amount of PDA would scare him away, as that's when he feels your love the most.

When he's stressed, he needs that grounding touch to come back to earth.

Mingi

Receiving gifts

Don't get me wrong, Mingi isn't by any means a materialistic guy. He just loves to be pampered :)

The idea that he always has a piece of you with him, in the form of one of your gifts, would make him giggle.

He'd love any kind of gift, no matter how small- a pretty rock you found, a flower you picked on your way home, or a stickynote with a cute message left on his belongings.

Be it accessories, clothing or jewelry, he'll wear it on his person at all times. It'd be his way of silently showing you off.

Wooyoung

Acts of service

A bit controversial i know, but i have a lot to say here

Woo is a super bright guy who has no problem expressing his affection for others through words and physical touch.

Which leads to me to believe that these love languages wouldn't be AS special to him on the receiving end, because they come so naturally to him.

Hence, I believe acts of service would be the way to make him feel the most loved.

He would love to know you're thinking about him even when he's not there. To him, that's the ultimate show of affection- receiving your attention without even being there to command it.

As someone who tries his best to understand anyone he meets, you doing your best to understand him makes him feel special.

Jongho

Words of affirmation

Being quite reserved, Jongho doesn't come off as someone who needs a lot of praise, which is why he's kind of starved for it.

Except his vocals, which are rightfully praised left and right, the other parts of him are not complimented as much by those around him.

Which is why he'll melt if you tell him how handsome he looks, how much you love his smile, how he takes such good care of you.

He loves receiving praise, even if he doesn't always know how to respond.

[randoimago]

Day 7 - Huddling for Warmth

Fandom: Yakuza

Character(s): Saejima

Type of Request: 31 Days of Oc-Trope-R

Note(s): Ngl I did not think I'd love Saejima as much as I do. Also there isn't really any mention of the current relationship of Saejima and Reader. It can be viewed as pining or like early stages of dating.

The apartment was cold today. It's winter in Kamurocho and the heating in your apartment just had to go out. You had thrown all the blankets you could into a pile to try and keep warm. You had every one of your heavy jackets there too. But it still felt too cold.

Saejima, was unaware of this when he decided to come over. He was in the area due to helping random people with nonsense, and thought he'd stop by to see you. He also terribly missed you, but it was still hard for him to actually say those words and he hopes the steamed bun and candies he brought can convey what he can't say.

He knocked on the door and waited for you to answer. He managed to pick up a groan from your side of the door and that caused him to be a bit curious, but also worried. Before he could kick the door in, it opened, and he saw you in what seemed to be multiple jackets.

"Planning to go outside?" He asks, confused as to why you would do that, but also a bit worried that him coming over interrupted some plans you might have had. You just try to muster a smile for him, but he can tell you're not in the mood.

"Heat is out in my apartment," you tell him as you step aside so he can walk in. An immediate wave of concern hits him as he walks inside and can feel that it's not much warmer inside than it is outside. At least you have four walls and a roof so the wind can't get to you, but it's still very concerning.

"Is no one doing maintenance? You'll freeze," Saejima asks, a tad pissed off now at the thought of you being stuck in your apartment without any heating. He then looks to you and gives you a scolding look. "You should have called."

"Well, I didn't call because I didn't think it would be too big of a deal. And I thought that the heating would be fixed by now."

"Did they give an estimate of how long it would take?" Saejima questions as he walks into the room and sees the pile of blankets and jackets on your couch. You always said the living room was warmer than the rest of the place, so he guesses it's good that you moved everything here.

"A couple hours," you answer and Saejima hands you the steamed bun and sets your candies aside. He turns to look at you and you shake your head. "Before you mention going anywhere, I really don't feel like leaving the apartment today even though it's freezing."

"A couple hours in this cold isn't good. Prison was warmer than this even in winter," Saejima mutters as he watches the satisfied look on your face as you bite into the steamed bun and hold it in your face. For a split second, he thinks about how cute you are, but he quickly pushes it away because there's more important things to worry about. "I'm staying until your heating is fixed," he decides.

"You don't have-" The stern look he gives you is enough for you to take another bite of the food and stay quiet.

"I'm staying with you. If the heating doesn't get fixed in the time you were told, then you're staying at my apartment in the meantime," he says and he feels a bit bad about telling you what you're going to do. But he's glad that you don't seem in a mood to argue with him.

"Fine, freeze with me then," you say and finish your bun. You move to the blanket pile and curl up under them, giving him a look. "You going to join me? You'll freeze if you don't," you state and now Saejima hesitates.

He always tries to respect your personal space. He's been much more of a giver of gifts than affection. And while he very much likes the idea of cuddling with you under some blankets, he is still worried about overstepping boundaries.

And then he sees you shivering, and his mind is made up as he moves closer, picking up the blankets so he can sit down before he lets them fall on top of him. There is still a moment of hesitation before he pulls you against his chest. You were shivering and he knows body heat is a good way to warm up. Saejima is glad that he has the self-control to not shiver as he feels you against him like this.

You sigh and Saejima looks down at you, his heart speeding up a bit as you make eye contact, and a smile crosses your face. "Maybe I should've called you. You're really warm," you tell him, and he can't help an amused smile back as he holds you a tad tighter.

"You're warm too," he mutters and while you don't carry the amount of body heat that he does, he can feel how easily his body heats up and how warm his heart is with having you this close.

[characterdesigninspiration]

Do you have any advice/resources for character profile templates? I have ideas for several characters, I just don't know how to put it down on paper, or if I should but a full body reference or just a shoulders and up, or how much info should be there... Also, your blog's been super helpful! It's helped me with several design and development issues, so thank you!

First of all, glad you’re enjoying the blog!

As far as how to create a character profile/reference, there aren’t exactly any hard and fast rules, unless we get into specific stuff like model sheets for animation. The most important thing to keep in mind is what info will be helpful for you and your intended use for the character and their ref. Some pretty “standard” or at least common elements that you’ll find in a lot of character refs include:

At least one full body drawing in the character’s typical outfit

At least one portrait/shoulder-up view, and often a few more to show additional expressions, angles, etc. that convey some personality traits

Close-ups of significant details that might get lost or covered up on the full-body design - for example, a piece of jewelry, a tattoo, special embroidery on clothes, etc.

And here are some extra things that might not be needed on every character ref, but could be useful depending on your character and needs:

Stand-alone drawings of items that are significant to the character but might not always be physically worn by or attached to them— stuff like a weapon, instrument, mobility aid, animal companion, etc.

Details showing any sort of “state change” your character might display— things like eyes or markings that glow while doing magic, supernatural features that they hide part of the time, etc.

A bit of text with info like their name, age, height, or any other quick details that can’t be specifically conveyed through the drawings alone. Try not to go too overboard with text though, just stick to a few key things!

If the character usually wears a large coat/cloak/other outerwear that obscures a lot of their form and other clothes, it can be helpful to have a drawing of what they wear under that

Gesture/motion examples— especially if a specific type of motion is important to their story, for example a ballet dancer or martial artist, or if they’re a nonhuman character who moves in a unique way, like a werewolf who sometimes runs on all fours or a vampire who can crawl on ceilings

If they’re a nonhuman character who’s significantly taller or smaller than the typical human range, it can be helpful to include a scale reference. It doesn’t have to be super detailed, just like a simple silhouette of the character next to an average-height human

Swatches of the main colors of their palette, which are especially useful if you’re doing something like a comic where you’ll need to draw them frequently and consistently

Various hairstyles if that’s something they change up frequently

Full-body and/or portrait turnarounds to show different angles of the design— this might not be necessary for everyone, but if you’re designing a character that you’ll eventually use in something like comics or animation where they’re going to be seen from pretty much every angle, it can be helpful to think about this from the start

Again, there aren’t really any rules about this, so just think about what’ll be helpful to you! A good ref will give someone who’s never seen your character before an immediate impression of them, so try to pick things to focus on that succinctly convey their personality, story, and most unique aspects. A simple reference that showcases a few well-chosen elements will always be better than one that tries to jam-pack a bunch of irrelevant details onto the page.

If you’re doing your very first character ref and have absolutely no idea where to start, try drawing the three “standard” suggestions above and then adding one or two of the “extra” ideas that sound relevant to your character. That should give you a good starting point so you can get some practice putting together a ref. As you make more, you’ll get more comfortable and confident with picking out the elements that are most useful and relevant for you and any given character you come up with!

I hope at least some of these ideas are helpful!! If anyone else has any other suggestions, feel free to add on in comments or reblogs.

[decks-writing-blog]

She's Gone

Summary: Isaac has a talk with Alyx about her mother.

[A/N] Here on Tumblr I saw a post talking about how Alyx and Gordon could potentially trade stories about their time as Kleiner's pupil. Gordon was canonically his student and thus since he has teaching experience it makes sense he might've taken on the responsibility of being a teacher for Alyx as she grew up. It was a fun idea and made me want to write Kleiner and Alyx having some kind of funny school room related interaction, weather I was going to bring it back around to a flash forward of her having shared this story with Gordon, I was going to decide when I got there. But alas, I am cursed with the inability to come up with funny ideas on command. So when I was thinking about it, I came up with this idea instead. It isn't funny in the least but I wrote it anyway because it struck a cord with me.

Content Warning for grief and talk of Azian's death. Since she disappeared, it's entirely possible Alyx didn't immediately know she was dead and thus had be told.

~

In some ways having only one student was easier than a full college classroom. The 1st grade curriculum was naturally simpler for sure, making the main challenge in teaching it be having to resist the urge to go into the more complex specifics. Having only one pupil to focus on made making sure the ‘whole class’ was following along and understood everything before moving on to the next thing easy.

It was harder in other ways though. The situation with the Combine made everything more difficult. Trying to start and keep a classroom and school schedule as close to normal seeming as possible in hopes of shielding Alyx from the worst of it was uniquely stressful. Nothing in Isaac’s teaching career had prepared him for that. It didn’t help that that was actually a full-time job. But having recently volunteered to be her teacher – though really, Eli taught her plenty too just in a less structured and scheduled manner – encouraged her to ask him questions about it specifically.

“What’s the Combine?” “Why are we moving so often?” “What happened?” “Why?” “How?” “What about [friend, neighbor, or just person she’d known before the Combine invasion]?”

Naturally they couldn’t keep the truth from her even if that had been Eli’s first instinct. This was the world she was growing up in, she had to know everything eventually. But Alyx had turned five a mere week before the resonance cascade. So while Isaac never lied to her, he withheld the grisly details. The Combine were alien invaders from space. [X person from before]’s fate was a mystery, the three of them had had to move a few times already after all, it was hard to keep track of people who probably also fled. They moved so often because they were hiding from the Combine; “Yes, kind of like hide and seek but bigger and more important because they’re bad guys.”

With all this Isaac should’ve expected the question to pop up eventually; it was basically inevitable. And yet somehow it still took him by surprise when at the end of a math lesson – usually her favorite subject but today she’d been distracted – she approached him and… “What about Mommy?”

Isaac flinched, almost dropping the chalk eraser he’d just picked up. Trying to hide it, he erased the board before turning to look down at her. “What about her?” As if he had to ask.

“Where is she? Daddy said she’s gone but didn’t say where she’s gone to and he got sad when I asked so I didn’t ask that and don’t wanna ask again ‘cause it’ll make him sad again, I think. But you know, right?”

The small room they’d set up to be a makeshift classroom suddenly felt even smaller and stuffier than it had before. It wasn’t Isaac’s place to say anything about Azian. If Eli wasn’t ready to talk about her with Alyx then doing so in his stead wouldn’t be right. But at the same time Alyx deserved to know that her mother wasn’t coming back. Eli had probably tried to convey that but five-year-olds, even ones as smart as Alyx, weren’t known for picking up on subtleties. While ‘she’s gone’ would convey to most that the ‘gone’ was permanent, to a small child it would seem the same as saying ‘she’s gone to the grocery store’ just without the detail on where. She still believed she’d potentially she her mother again one day.

He could send her to ask Eli again later at which point he’d know to give a more clear answer. Or he could bring the matter to Eli himself and make it clear that Alyx needed a clearer answer. But it had only been a handful of months since the resonance cascade. The wound of Azian’s loss was still fresh, especially Eli. Mitigating the pain the conversation would cause would surely be kind, right? Eli was busy trying to gather up the Black Mesa survivors after all. Isaac didn’t want to distract him from that by reminding him of his dead wife.

And so with a sigh, Isaac pulled out his desk chair and sat down again. “Sit.” He gestured to the spot across from him. Her being his only pupil and there not being room for much else in most of the places they ended up, most of the time they shared a desk for this ‘school’ thing they were doing.

Alyx obeyed, pulling out the chair and clambering back up into it. As proof of her seriousness she didn’t even spin around in it this time before pulling herself over to the desk.

Isaac waited until she was settled in before explaining anything. Before he could figure out how to begin though, she spoke up instead. “She’s not coming back, is she?” Well, it least it wasn’t a surprise.

“Correct. She’s not coming back.”

“Why not?”

Was it better to be up front and direct with the answer or be gentle with it? … Isaac wasn’t entirely sure how to be gentle with this kind of news, straightforward was probably easiest. “She’s dead.”

Alyx stared at him in silence for a few seconds as her eyes welled with tears. “Like… like when you step on bugs and they die and stop moving and get squished with their insides all outside?”

“Yes.” Wait! Not a good thing to say as when applied to a human, that was a horrifically gory description. Oops. “Sort of anyway.” Gosh, science was much easier to navigate and discuss than personal emotional things like talking about a friend's death to her five year old kid. He should’ve sent her to Eli or insisted they talk about it as a group. “Her death probably wasn’t that bad.” That could be a lie though as they didn’t know how she died. Technically, they didn’t even know for sure that she was dead. But it was likely enough that holding out hope and/or letting Alyx continue to do so wouldn’t be wise or kind.

Alyx was full on sobbing now. Isaac opened he desk’s drawer to pull out a box of tissue – something that was quickly proving to be a rare luxury – before standing and walking around to hand to her. He then put a hand on her shoulder, that’s what helped Eli most of the time. It seemed to calm her a little too so he kept her hand there, shifting it slightly to lightly rub her back. Other than that though, he let her cry. She had a right to cry about this for however long she needed to.

It was several minutes before her sobbing finally started to peter out. Finally, when she was done, she blew her nose and sniffled before before looking back up at him. “I should’ve figured that out before, huh?”

“No, I don’t believe so. A lot’s been happening and changing. It is entirely logical you were too caught up in it all to figure that out. Especially since one wouldn’t want to consider such a thing.” And he and Eli had been trying to keep her distracted and busy.

“Is it the Combine that killed her?”

“Possibly. We’re not sure.”

Alyx nodded as if that was the exact answer she’d expected. “I don’t like them.”

“Me neither. We’re going to fight them though and we’re going to win or at the very least try our best to.” The only thing Eli cared about more than his budding efforts to build a proper resistance against the Combine was Alyx. And when Eli got dead set on something like that, things always got done. Isaac was just here to help and to get done whatever science and study he could while doing so.

“I wanna help.”

“I’m sure you’ll be a great help one day.” They couldn’t exactly pretend that she wouldn’t be part of their resistance efforts once she was older. Every single person mattered when it came to fighting a conquering alien force. “For now though, how about we practice reading until your dad gets home, huh?” Which would hopefully be soon and would hopefully be him returning with the info he’d gone after. No use dwelling on anxiety about what would happen if he didn’t.

Alyx looked up at him and sniffled one last time into a tissue before tossing it into the trashcan and turning the chair so she could slide off it. “Okay.”

[alexanderlightweight]

I would love to see you write Alec courting Magnus warlock style vs Magnus courting Alec nephilim style

I think Magnus exploring those eldritch angel instincts and how that would translate over to gifts would be funny

Whereas Alec doing demonology research and warlock traditions bc Magnus is both a prince of hell and a high warlock needs to be taken into account

Honestly Alec being an heir and commander is important but being a leader is more important to him than being a lightwood, he'd become Alec bane in a heartbeat if given the choice!

tumblr ate this twice but i found it again and here we are! i hope you enjoy. this is in the hoarfrost kiss on lips aflame verse which is the cold!eldritch angel alec au

<3

-

“I won’t be taking the Lightwood name.” Magnus remarks casually, because it’s something his boy needs to know, “or that awful ring you keep bringing by.”

Alexander freezes and sends him a pitiful pout, but from the gleam in his eye, Magnus doubts he’s actually surprised that Magnus doesn’t want the ring.

“That makes sense.” Alexander says slowly, nodding as he considers what Magnus said. “You hate my parents. They hate you, so I’ll take Bane.”

“Without the Lightwood?” Magnus asks, curious because he would have been fine if they’d kept their own names — even if the thought of Alexander belonging solely to him fills him with vicious glee.

“Magnus, I want to bond with you because I want the shadowworld to be forced to acknowledge how much I love you, what you mean to me. I’m hardly getting my point across if my name stays the same.” Alexander rolls his eyes, “if the clave wants to argue that I can’t be a commander because of my name, then that’s a fight I’m willing to have. I’m a leader, first Magnus. My parents may have intended me to be the perfect heir, but they pushed the responsibilities of an entire Institute on me from a young age. The Lightwood name will survive my departure and my Institute won’t care what name they serve as long as it’s still me giving the orders.”

“I adore how competent you are.” Magnus admits and he gives a wistful sigh as he cups Alexander’s face. “But it would be so much easier if you were just a pretty face I could chain to my bed.”

Alexander laughs, lips kissing Magnus’ thumb as they part for his joy.

“Magnus, you would be bored. You like the idea of how much of a challenge keeping me chained would be.”

“You wouldn’t just let me keep you?” Magnus asks, teasingly but with also a hint of a dare.

“As long as I’m a Commander, then I’ll be what I’m needed to be for the people I lead and protect. Ask me again if that ever changes.” Alexander tells him, a promise that Magnus tucks away, “and in the meantime, I don’t mind playing hard to keep.”

Magnus laughs, because Alexander surrenders himself in his entirety every time Magnus touches him and his boy wouldn’t know how to play hard if he tried.

“I’ll just have to learn to distract you better.” Magnus promises and he slyly uses magic to grip Alexander’s thighs and bind them to the bed as he kisses him. “But first, let me warm you up before you go, Alexander.”

—

Magnus waits until Alexander is gone and then he sits, and he stares blankly at his hand.

Alexander is so nonchalant about how much he wants to bond with Magnus and Magnus didn’t consider how much he wanted that until being faced with it in person. To know that Alexander will take Magnus’ name, that Alexander wants to be Magnus’ and be served under Magnus’ name, that his deeds will be added to Magnus’ name and not his family one.

It’s a deep and heady thrill, especially when Magnus knows how important names are to shadowhunters.

For Alexander to drop the name Lightwood for a non-nephilim name like Bane, when he’s the heir to such a prestigious family, it’s practically self-disownment.

It’s a way of putting Magnus into priority that could have been conveyed by the joining of their names but will ensure everyone knows how much Magnus means to Alexander.

“My darling Alexander,” Magnus murmurs as he runs his fingers over the warm indent left behind by his boy’s body, “whatever am I to do with you?”

He messages Ragnor, intending to find out just how to show a shadowhunter they belong to you, and you aren’t letting them go, and gets back an angry stack of books landing on his feet.

Magnus rolls his eyes; summons the long pipe he sometimes indulges in and lays out on his bed to smoke and peruse just how to stamp his claim all over Alexander.

—

Alec stares at the books and piles of paper and he swallows down the last of a protein bar and activates a series of four runes that will help him maintain and organize the knowledge he’s looking for.

It takes three hours and he’s exhausted and worn by the end of it, but he has a place to start and as he stares at what warlocks consider to be highly valued courting gestures, he resigns himself to another long week. While intellectually, Alec knows that the shadowworld has extremely different cultures, he isn’t expecting the level of secrecy around higher ranked warlocks and their consorts.  It means that the information he specifically needs is harder to find and that he’ll have to ask for help once he’s narrowed down his choices for gifts.

Which means Tessa, since she’s the only one of Magnus’ companions who owes Alec something and will respond to him favorably.

At least this week of research will be worth it; Alec thinks to himself as he slowly gets out his stele and his arrows and several pieces of platinum. 

If Magnus doesn’t like the Lightwood ring, then Alec will just have to make him one, especially now that he’s realized how much warlocks invest into making courtship offers.

Which is fine. Alec’s not a warlock but nephilim have some similar customs, they’re just normally weaponry rather than jewelry.

[wraithsoutlaws]

Then & Now the (x: perfect drug) edition:

Inspired by the fandom to look back and celebrate the boys' journey as well as my own in terms of vp.

March 2021, ps4.

I never created Dagger with the intention to ship him with anyone, but by the time I got here on his file it felt strangely natural. He was still a very fresh oc but things began to click immediately and genuinely felt like it was meant to be. The development of him as a character began to happen side by side with this silly little ship and both ended up becoming really personal and special to me.

It's hard getting decent shots on ps4 with anyone. It's especially hard when it's a minor npc with extremely limited screen time available! You have no idea how many times I went back and played these two quests trying to get something interesting. Honestly I'm really grateful for my time on ps4 not only because it helps me appreciate what I can do now a little more, but I think a lot of my growth happened here, stretching the limited resources I had available.

July 2021, ps4

Learning how to work within the confines of totally vanilla photomode, getting creative with base game poses and skipping time to find the best natural light, etc. I'm still proud of these pictures, they capture an intimacy that I think is really special, and at the time were some of my favorites I'd ever taken, and even now I can note the growth between these and the first ones I'd taken.

April 2022, laptop

The first pictures taken on my laptop and my first time posing them with AMM/setting up a scene. I might like to retake these some day. I'm more critical of them than I am of my ps4 pics tbh but they're still an important part of my journey. Over time I noticed red lighting had become my comfort zone, or more specifically, a crutch! So I've tried really hard since then to improve on that and push myself in different directions.

February 2023

It took me almost a year to feel comfortable enough with posing to attempt some goddam kisses. I'm still not very good at these but at least I improved in other ways. Honestly, I struggle with these two at times because they aren't your typical outwardly loving, cute couple, and I'm usually very strict with myself to keep them as in character as I can. That can make it hard to think of couples poses/ideas, both cute and spicy, but. they can be lovebirds as a treat.

May 2023

Only recently have I begun to feel a strong sense of style in my own work. Playing with lighting and scenes, and trying to jam as much personality as I can into these slice of life pictures is really important to me and is one of my favorite parts of doing this. They can be sweet together but it's important you see the other side of that (the blood, the knives, drugs, etc. Also Dagger resting his ashtray on Dum Dum is one of my personal favorite quirks). I really try to put a lot of their life into pictures like this. I want to convey all the parts of who they are together, even if nobody else notices.

June/July 2023

Its pretty hard to articulate how important these two have become for me over the last couple years. I've been playing this game since release and haven't had this sort of steady inspiration or creativity for years. Even on the bad days, just thinking about them is enough to get me through as silly as it sounds. I've grown so much not only in VP but my own art (something I had all but entirely abandoned until I picked up this game). They've provided an outlet I've been searching for for a very long time, and I'm really grateful for that. It's kinda wild looking back at where it started, and seeing how far it's come. Sometimes I still struggle with my perception/the worth of my work but I can't deny the happiness its brought me either.

Including a couple other character ship pics under the cut c:

I'm always a little insecure about my ship pics specifically, I'm very bad at comparing myself with others! But I put a lot of love into these and I can see the improvement when I look at them over time. Regardless of anything, they were all made with lots of love and I hope that comes across.

[x0401x]

Hi, if you don't mind, can I ask from this ask game :

https://www.tumblr.com/theclearblue/761071267749265408/anime-asks-because-why-not?source=share

For no. 4, 6, 8, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 20, 23, 24, 28

Thanks if you want to answer whichever that you want.....

Ayyy, sure! Sorry for taking so long to reply to this!

4. Least favorite anime character: Kinoshita Kazuya

This one was hard. I usually have lots of characters I like and lots that I’m neutral about but none that I quite hate. One character that left me particularly grossed out, though, was this guy. I can’t say I hate him, but I’ve never been so instantly put off by a fictional character. The combination of being plain disgusting and stupid with having absolutely no redeeming qualities and nothing going on for him was particularly unsettling. It’s not even that he gave us nothing; he really only gave his worst.

6. Popular anime that you didn’t like: Violet Evergarden

Y’all know me. Y’all know where I’m coming from. 🫠

8. Anime character you’re the most like: Honestly, no idea. I’d like to know people’s opinions on this one.

13. Funnest anime you have watched: This one is kinda abstract. I have no idea how to measure the fun. My all-time favorite isn’t exactly what I’d call “fun” and I have too many that I consider fun animes.

14. Saddest anime you have ever watched: Midori Shoujo Tsubaki.

I know that this one aims to be a lot of things way above its intention to be melancholic, but it’s definitely the anime where I’ve felt worst about the protagonist. The ending is surrealistic yet too real at the same time. It’s probably the anime that had me going “damn, that’s sad as hell” the most.

15. Anime you never get sick of watching: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi

I have quite a few anime that I’d rewatch anytime if I felt like it, but this is the only one that I feel like rewatching whenever I see anything related to it. I probably have answered this in every anime ask game I’ve played, but Sen to Chihiro is my all-time favorite anime and movie.

Another anime that I never get tired of rewatching is Gakkou no Kaidan. I used to rewatch it every year on Halloween as a personal tradition when I was a kid and I have a physical copy of all the books in the series. I only don’t rewatch it anymore because I hardly have time for binging nowadays, but if I could do it again? Damn right I would.

16. 10 best animes you have watched: That’s tough! I have a long list of favorites. Aside from Sen to Chihiro, in no particular order:

1. Heike Monogatari

2. Fullmetal Alchemist (I’m combining the first one with Brotherhood here because I love the whole franchise and I’ve always felt that they complete each other)

3. Mushishi

4. Card Captor Sakura

5. Inuyasha

6. Rurouni Kenshin (the first one)

7. Soul Eater

8. Nana

9. Yu Yu Hakusho

10. Monster

18. 10 worst anime you’ve watched (this one is also in no particular order and there’s actually way more than just 10 but here we go):

1. PUPA

2. Diabolik Lovers

3. Drammatical Murder

4. Kaze no Na wa Amnesia

5. Nora

6. Ghost in the Shell: SAC_2025

7. Berserk (2016)

8. Mahou Shoujo ni Akogarete

9. Ro-Kyu-Bu!

10. Kamierabi GOD.app

20. Least favorite anime ships: Literally any inc*st and p*do ship.

23. Unpopular character you love: I don’t really have unpopular characters that I love, but there sure are characters whom I love yet a good chunk of the fandom detests.

24. Popular character you hate: Also don’t have any. I’m either neutral or love them. But then again, there are characters that the fandom is obsessed with yet make me feel next to nothing.

28. Most upsetting moment in anime and why: The entirety of Tsurune, lol. Because the novels (albeit not well-written) are leagues above it in content, depth, overall plot and character handling. It’s pretty much a spiritual experience once you realize what the author is trying to convey, which the studio not only didn’t understand but also tried to run from like the devil runs from the cross. Pretty sure the author also wasn’t too hyped about some things in the anime, as implied in one of her afterwords.

This was fun to do! Thank you!

[meimi-haneoka]

What are your top 10 favorite scenes in Clear Card manga? (Not counting the anime because it hasn't been finished yet)

Aaaahhh nice question! 🤭 Thank you so much for sending me this ask, since now that the main story is over, with a cool mind, it gave me the opportunity to think about the scenes I loved the most.

It is actually quite hard for me to choose, because there are so many good scenes, and it somehow feels also "unfair" to make a ranking, but I will try to answer with my CURRENT top 10, which is highly depending on my current inclinations and preferences. 😊 (under the cut, with explanations and analysis for each scene)

10. Chapter 1, "We'll be together forever"

I'm not placing this here because it's my least favorite, not at all, but because after more than 7 years, its power to evoke emotions in me has been supplanted by other scenes. 😅 I dunno how to explain it but, while it stays one of the most important and nostalgic scenes in this series, so much more happened in this arc that I feel "in a stronger way" than this scene. Still, it's in my top 10 because I was highly emotional when I've seen it in chapter 1.

9. Chapter 22, "Same goes for you, Syaoran-kun"

Ooooh, this was such a satisfactory moment, I still remember it. Till that moment, Sakura never gave out any hint that she had started to notice that Syaoran had been hiding something from her. This was portrayed differently in the anime, because Sakura confides her doubt with Meiling way before this scene happened in episode 21, but in the manga it was such a "wow" moment for me, because we had been screaming in our heads "how is it possible that Sakura is so oblivious that she doesn't notice anything", but no, she actually had already noticed, it's just that she wanted to take all of us by surprise, Syaoran included! And she was waiting patiently for him to talk to her. I also liked the way she phrased this, because it might be interpreted as slightly slightly calling him out while telling him "please open up to me" with love. Which is exactly what also will happen with another couple later on.

8. Chapter 33, Sakura hugs Syaoran with a resolute face

Another moment that made me scream "QUEEN!!" was this one. Oooh, how much I loved Sakura in this specific panel. Syaoran is prevented from warning her about Kaito and what he knows about him, so he desperately tries to convey to her with that crushing hug that no matter what happens, he's going to protect her. But since Sakura had just found out the truth about the Clear Cards and felt the frustration of not having understood it earlier, causing her loved one to put himself into a dangerous position, her resolute face here always conveyed to me her desire to be more "in touch" with herself, finally "waking up" and do her part to protect Syaoran in turn. That little hand gripping Syaoran's shirt tightly is everything to me. It's so rare to see Sakura depicted with such strong and complex feelings.

7. Chapter 41/42, Syaoran and Kaito's fight

One of my favorite scenes, no doubt. You have no idea how much I'm anticipating to see this scene in the anime. It's not only because my two favorite boys are basically arguing over who's more "I'll save/protect my most important person no matter what" (even if one of them hasn't figured it out yet), but it's also because we have a pretty violent Syaoran here...he attacked Kaito behind his back with a freaking lightning, without notice or anything else, and that made me go "wow Syaoran, you must be quite mad if you're not caring about fair play in this confrontation" 😂 And it's also pretty uncharacteristic of Kaito to be taken by suprise by someone....but this is just because Nadeshiko had distracted him with a topic that really dug deep in his core.

6. Chapter 31, "I'm also mad at you, Syaoran-kun"

And of course, this is another main scene that I can't wait to see animated and that really left an impact on me. I realize that my favorite scenes are those where the characters do something you wouldn't expect from them basing on what's been portrayed of them till that moment. And I think hearing Sakura say "I'm also mad at you, Syaoran-kun" had a major impact on me. And felt very satisfactory. Of course I knew that Sakura would've never lashed out at Syaoran when she would've found out about the Sakura Cards, about lying and omitting things to her...Sakura knows that her Syaoran would never reach such lengths if it weren't for her safety. But still, he didn't fully consider the consequences of his actions, which could've been so much worse than what we've seen, and I think in that moment Sakura fully realized all of that, and it's inevitable that the pain turned also into anger because "how can you be so blind to not realize that you would've killed me if something happened to you?". Sakura's calm and composed anger and pain is very much in character for her, but also something we yet had to see till that moment, so it felt really refreshing. I also remember her next sentence, "Even if it would've made you uncomfortable, I would've cried and cried forever". It's as if she was telling him "in front of something of such gravity, I need to take notice of my own feelings and express them. I WILL react in this way, even if I know that I will make you feel bad about it." It's claiming the right to be angry when your loved one messes up big time with you. (lord, the parallels!) And Syaoran's hug to her head, not even allowing himself to hug her body, felt very humble and respectful from his part, in my opinion. He absolutely felt the need to apologize and comfort her, but not invading her space and comfortable zone too much.

5. Chapter 52, "But you look like you're in pain"

Chapter 52 was a "parallels fest" beginning to end, and more than a scene, I'd daresay I place the entire chapter in this position of the ranking. It was very nice to see, for once, a parallelism between Akiho and Syaoran, rather than the usual Akiho and Sakura. I think CLAMP took care in depicting this scene because they wanted to make sure that the readers understood that, despite being under a "synchronization", the feelings Sakura and Akiho have for their loved ones are absolutely genuine, unique and personal to eachother. In short, Akiho doesn't act in a certain way towards Kaito because she's "mimicking" what Sakura does with Syaoran. If there's one thing in CLAMP manga that always eluded hitsuzen, plotting, scheming, even premonitions, are the feelings the characters have for their important people, and it's not something specific to CCS. Not even magic can change the feelings someone got for someone else, just as magic alone cannot make someone fall in love with someone else. It's always coming from the heart. And so, in this scene we see two kids deeply worried for their loved ones, who look in pain, and CLAMP have shown to us how their situations, although paralleling, had two very different outcomes, not because the feelings at the base were different, but because their circumstances were different. In the Akiho/Kaito half, I was absolutely heartbroken by Kaito's reaction, dictated by fear and isolation. But I was also in awe at Akiho's strength of mind, the way she kept insisting for Kaito to open up to her because she just could feel that something wasn't right, it hadn't been for a while at this point, and the fear to lose him made her stronger and more incisive than ever. Alas, Kaito's stubborness at this point of the story is basically playing a tug of war with her (a game Akiho has no intention to lose), so he had that reaction of running away and shutting the door in her face, another thing I found extremely uncharacteristic of him, because he had always been so respectful and diligent in his "role of the butler". With the progression of the story, this reaction became so much more clear and coherent with his state of mind. To this day, this chapter is so dear to me because of the strong and complex emotions depicted in it (even though at the time it hurt so much).

4. Chapter 80, "Cristaux. That's my true name"

Well yes, it might be because it's just fresh in my mind, or because it was, in a way, the end of the tribulations for me to see this guy finally realizing what Akiho is to him, but I feel this scene in my core. The choice to reveal his true name to her, what it means in a CLAMP manga, the intimacy of the scene without actually depicting anything that any reader (who doesn't know CLAMP well) would consider "regular" for a romantic scene (so much that a good amount of people didn't understand what happened here), makes it so precious and special to me. When I've talked about this scene in the stories of my IG account, I used "Delicate" by Taylor Swift as a background song, because I really feel like CLAMP depicted Kaito's intentions in a very delicate way. Which is how it is supposed to be, how their relationship will develop and transform along the way. They need so much sensitivity, gentleness, time, tenderness, because they both have lots of scars they need to heal from. And just like in the song, Kaito is starting to acknowledge many things and he's moving a tiny step ahead in that direction, with this gesture that means so much (and Akiho is perfectly aware of what it entails). It's like "starting again" for them, this time from a foundation of honesty and trust. Slowly, slowly healing and building their bond back up. It's the evidence that when your heart is in the right place, there's always a second chance and Kaito showed here that he doesn't want to waste it.

3. Chapter 78, Akiho and Kaito's reunion

Well. OF COURSE this would be in my top 3! I cried so much!! 🥲 The emotional tension, Akiho's anger, Kaito's silence that suggested how stunned he was, finally realizing things that we waited for the whole manga for him to see... I think the one aspect that struck me the hardest in this scene was imagining to be in Akiho's shoes in that moment, and feeling all that love and anger pouring out of her, without even fully understanding where those feelings came from, because she still didn't remember anything about him. Like, you have someone in front of you, your heart knows it's the person you love, and yet you can't remember anything about them, not even their name. But you still feel this storm of feelings pouring out of you. So powerful. As powerful was Akiho's assertiveness when she rebuked Kaito not only for deciding her happiness on her behalf, without asking her absolutely anything, but most importantly because he dared to remove himself from her life, thinking "she doesn't need me to be happy, after all", when he was so so so wrong. And in doing that, he committed another horrible thing, he literally threw himself away in the process, like something of no value. I think more than anything else, this was what hurt Akiho the most. And we always go back to that parallelism of chapter 31, how these boys, in their fever of protecting their most important person, completely forget/don't see how fundamental THEY are to that person's happiness. Out of this whole reunion, another scene I love is when Akiho kinda "pulls" Kaito back to her, pressuring him to go along with Sakura's plan to revert him back to his true appearance (from that of a dragon). You can see that his self-loathing makes him hesitate, and resist that plan till the last second, but when he exchanges that long stare with Akiho, he finally caves in. Her hard stare, which shows already the irritation and pain that will overflow afterwards, makes him feel "wanted", necessary to someone. Just for being himself, not because of his powers, like it had been till he met her. That's another moment of this scene that I love deeply.

2. Chapter 48, "The moon is beautiful"

Yeah I'm sorry, I've been debating whether this scene would go to n. 1 or not, then decided otherwise, but I can't lie to myself: the scene that impacted me the most in this entire manga, the one that changed me, is this one. Akiho's covert love confession under the full moon. And until someone explained to me what Akiho actually meant with that "because the moon is really beautiful", I had considered this just a very sweet and cute scene, but nothing more. When someone gave me the correct "reading key" (and it's absolutely intentional because Akiho's speech is placed between quote marks), something changed inside of me towards these two. I already liked them, Akiho in particular, but this scene confirmed to me that Akiho was serious in wanting to grasp her life tightly and change it. From a shy, insecure girl needing validation at every sentence, crushed by the trauma of the past, to someone who actually made the first, concrete steps in conveying her thoughts and feelings to the person most important to her. From stillness, to action. The first steps towards finding her voice, and letting it be heard, louder and louder, throughout the story. This is a very important turning point, as you can literally see her changing, after this scene. Even in this metaphorical way, it must have required for Akiho to muster all of her courage to confess her feelings. Did Kaito understand what she meant, here? To this day, I don't think he did. Otherwise, he wouldn't have said such a foolish thing like "I didn't think you needed me to be happy" in ch. 78. But he still wanted to spend time with her, he was visibly glad to receive that "invitation" from her, even though he never let that transpire from his words, his reply is a line carefully built in Japanese to address what Akiho wanted, not what he wanted. Cause he couldn't allow himself to want anything, aside from that one wish, knowing very well how this would've ended. Chapter 48 and 49 were giving us everything we needed to know to determine not only Akiho's feelings towards Kaito, but also his own feelings for her. It's very clear by the way they look at eachother in their scenes of these two chapters. And yet, the smell of "doom" was looming over them (so much that at the time I thought this would be their last conversation before everything went down the drain; fortunately it wasn't), so this "duality" created the perfect mix to get me definitively invested in these two.

1. Chapter 79, "I can't be on everyone's side"

I chose this scene for the 1st position because I absolutely adored the revolutionary and strong message that Sakura passed in the very culmination of the climax. I felt we really needed it. More than once I had feared, throughout the serialization, that CLAMP would've shown Sakura trying to "befriend" or "compromise" with the Squids & Association, when the "moment of the truth" would've come. Because of the apparent "dogma" that "Sakura is everyone's friend, no one is evil in Sakura's world, Sakura is such a good girl".

But what they had already shown about Akiho's clan and the Association ABSOLUTELY couldn't be justified or compromised with. CLAMP had already shown too much cruelty from them, there couldn't be any "redeeming arc" or anything like that, that wouldn't result in being offensive to the sensitivity and intelligence of the readers. Sometimes it happens that you just can't compromise with cruel people guided only by greed. You shouldn't. Especially if they abused other people ever since they were so little.

In this specific scene, CLAMP have put Sakura in front of a choice, but not only that: they also made her question her own morality. How I adored that! Sakura does realize that what she's about to do might not be good from a moral standpoint, forcing people to forget about something without their consent. Exactly what Kaito did before. But she doesn't care. This is something different, and the difference lies in the intentions. While Kaito acted out of love, those other people were clearly trying to harm her friends. Because of this, she spells out clearly that she can't be on everyone's side. Because at some point a choice needs to be made, and she chose Akiho and Kaito. This scene right here is, perhaps, the one that answers the question that I know many people made themselves throughout the story, and after it was over: did we need Akiho and Kaito in Cardcaptor Sakura?

Yes, we did.

Because they brought Sakura to this moment, and they pushed her to make this decision. The decision to choose her loved ones' happiness over anything else, even her own morality, particularly when cruel intentions were involved towards people with a background much less happier and ideal than hers'. The decision to go on along with them, rather than trying to go back to how things were before. The decision to do whatever in her power to protect them. A series of decisions that brought her an enormous character development. This thematic of "going on" rather than "going back" was so strong in Tsubasa too, and it's not a coincidence that everyone could feel a strong connection to that other CLAMP work, in the final 2 chapters (and not only because of the cameos).

I think this scene defined and changed CCS forever (for the better, in my opinion). I feel like the essence of Clear Card is all here. This feeling of "everything we went through was for this moment" is so strong that made me designate it as my n. 1 scene!✨

[noctiselusio]

Park Junmo and his unstable self–image:

In The Worst Of Evil, we’re not told much about Junmo’s past (not really shown much of any character’s history really) as the story mainly focuses on the noir and crime aspect of the show. But we’re shown enough to be able to connect some clues and understand some of the reasonings and psychology behind our main character’s actions.

Junmo’s father was a drug addict, and his mom left when he was young. Obviously, this would have a detrimental impact on his mental health—which we see slowly spiraling out of control throughout the show. (Never mind the fact that the series mostly focuses on the ethics of it, Junmo is a cop who goes on an undercover mission and he has to fight hard to not lose his morals to all that he sees, all that he experiences, all that he does. And as compelling as that was, for this short rambling of mine I want to focus more on something else.)

And yes Junmo’s faltering morality is also a symptom of this disconnect he has with his own person. Junmo is confused and has no idea as to who he really is. His mother left early on and his father evidently was not a good one, we can imagine he had no interest in properly raising his son alone. I suppose the resulting trauma posed a significant hindrance to Junmo’s upbringing and development. Without an adult’s guidance, he was unable to properly develop a personality of his own. You need (healthy) interactions with others to shape your sense of self.

While I don’t mean to diagnose, or misuse psychology, or project on his character (forgive me if I’m doing any of those but also can you blame me, this deeply flawed character is so beautiful to dissect and read and attempt to read between the lines, behind the footage) there were some parts that made the light above my head switch on.

We learn that Junmo became a cop mainly thanks to his mentor: Seo Do Hyung.

He’s the reason Junmo didn’t stray off the path and became a cop. He gave him a purpose, a reason to keep going, an identity to chase after, and a sense of belonging. Do Hyung presents all of this to him, and Junmo holds on to it for deal life.

He gets married to a cop —born into a family of cops— and that’s kind of where it starts going bad again (including the wedding scene). Junmo starts feeling like… an impostor. Unlike his wife, his family is broken, he‘s unable to get a promotion, this all is an open wound that Euijung’s family keeps gnawing and scratching at until it scabs over and falls off. It’s sad, it’s tragic, but I don’t think that marriage had any hope of lasting.

Comes Jung Gichul—Junmo finds a new… place to belong, a brotherhood, maybe…maybe…maybe… a home?

It’s not that way at first, but the bridge effect is very real and Junmo has more than one close–death experience with Gichul next to him. And the more time he spends with him, the more humanity and vulnerability he sees from his boss, the more he hesitates.

And now, Park Junmo has a new name, a new identity. Which I don’t know if it was intentional or not: giving Junmo a new name and an impostor role—to convey his unstable sense of self.

Once again, Junmo is stuck, and he can’t —no matter how much he tries— figure out what he actually wants to do, where his heart lies. Who is he? What does Park Junmo want? How does Park Junmo feel? Who should Park Junmo betray? Should he act as Kwon Seungho or as Park Junmo?

But this doubt, this doubt hurts too. Because why should he be faltering? He’d spent so much time and effort to get here, sacrificed so much, and his wife is part of this too, he didn’t go through so much suffering just to fail his mission in the end. (He went through all that for Gichul.)

Do Hyung’s sacrifice settles it, Junmo is forced to make the final choice and bring the gang to justice.

But Gichul… Kwon Seungho couldn’t do that to him. Not until Gichul had really forced Park Junmo’s hand.

(Forgive me if there’s any mistakes or if this seems incoherent, this is my own interpretation and it’s been on my mind for a while and of course I had the urge to finally write it before a deadline. So these are my jumbled thoughts that I had to let go into the world)

[mommyownsmee]

I have this strange confession to make and Im so sorry if it’s weird but I have autism so I have hard time putting together my words without them sounding weird.

I don’t follow your blog because I didn’t want to be drawn to you. The first time I found your blog, I had so much fun here and then I wanted to know more about you because the way you wrote was just right for me. And at first I saw your rules and I was like ‘Ew what the fuck’ even when I been paying attention to this kind of stuff for years. Even when I knew I was actually secretly craving that.

Because all of those things you wrote seems normal to me. Yes, let me know where you are just in case something happens, yes let’s share locations. And then I saw more and more and I liked it more and more even when I was saying ew out loud (it’s the ODD in autism) and I tried so hard to avoid this account because who am I, me, a Sagittarius, to even let those thoughts get so close to me? That’s unacceptable.

But it’s been months and I still didn’t stop thinking about those rules and how I always had those rules in my head. Not me giving them, but me receiving them because I always felt such a care in them. It’s been stuck in my mind and I keep being fidgety about it because I’m so restless and there’s no one to give me the strict gaze. I keep walking around everyone while others call me brat and “a number” (it’s a word in my language, meaning something like a jokester) with a laugh on their face but oh god I do crave to be told to stop swearing.

And you know what age regression is, what md/lg is and sub/dom and you know the difference between them and you care more about talking feelings out rather than sex and you listen to others which makes you really attractive. Which… I do have the same priorities in everything and I never saw someone being like that.

And I know you said you don’t want a relationship that would be long distance nor that you don’t want to purchase. But I’m from Bohemia and that’s close and I don’t know what I want from you, or what I want you to do with me. But once in a while I remember this and then it all sits in my mind and I’m not sure what to do with it.

And I just couldn’t help but to write it in the small font as I don’t want to draw attention to it, maybe I’m shy.

As I said, I apologize if this is weird. You don’t have to reply to this if you don’t want to. Have a nice and lovely day <3

Hello sweetheart! 𝒙𝒙

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. I appreciate your honesty and the courage it took to express something so personal. It’s clear that you’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on your feelings and experiences, and I want you to know that your words are valued and respected.

Your message conveys a lot of emotion and contemplation, and it’s okay to feel conflicted about your desires and boundaries. It’s perfectly normal to find certain dynamics or rules appealing even if they initially seem off-putting. Many people have complex feelings about relationships and the ways they connect with others, and it’s important to honor those feelings without judgment.

I understand that having autism can make it challenging to communicate your thoughts in a way that feels comfortable for you. I am diagnosted with autism too. Please know that your message came through clearly, and I appreciate the effort you put into expressing yourself. It's perfectly okay to have complex feelings and to be drawn to certain structures and dynamics in relationships, especially when they provide a sense of care and security.

Your interest in the way I communicate and prioritize emotional connection is very flattering. It’s always gratifying to know that my words and ideas resonate with someone. The fact that you’re from Bohemia and feel a closeness despite the distance speaks to the power of shared values and interests. It’s wonderful to know that the way I approach things has had such a positive impact on you.

It’s also important to acknowledge your self-awareness and understanding of your own needs and desires, whether they relate to age regression, sub/dom dynamics, or simply the way you interact with others. These insights are valuable as you navigate your personal journey. You mentioned feeling a sense of care in the rules and boundaries that others might find strict. This perspective is unique and valuable, highlighting how different people find comfort and safety in various ways.

The way you describe your experiences with others calling you a "brat" or a "number" in your language, along with your craving for structure and guidance, is deeply personal. It's clear that you have a strong sense of what you need to feel balanced and supported. Recognizing this is a significant step towards understanding yourself better and finding the right dynamics that suit you.

Your mention of being a Sagittarius is interesting, as many people find that their astrological sign can offer insights into their personality and preferences. Sagittarius individuals are often known for their adventurous spirit, honesty, and desire for freedom, which might seem at odds with the structure you're craving. However, this contrast can also highlight the complexity of human nature and how different aspects of our personality can coexist and influence our desires. [I‘m a pisces.]

If you’re comfortable, it might be helpful to explore these feelings further, either through writing, talking with me or someone you trust, or engaging in communities that understand and respect your experiences. Sometimes, just acknowledging and articulating our thoughts can bring clarity.

Please don’t feel pressured to define what you want from me or from these feelings right away. It’s okay to let things unfold naturally and see where your thoughts lead you. Relationships and connections can evolve in unexpected and fulfilling ways when given the space to grow organically. And remember, it’s perfectly alright to seek guidance and support when you need it.

If there are specific aspects of our interaction or my writing that you find particularly appealing, it could be beneficial to focus on those elements and explore why they resonate with you. This might provide further insight into your preferences and help you understand what you’re seeking in a connection or relationship.

Thank you again for your heartfelt message. Text me anytime if you want to. You don’t need to be shy. Wishing you a wonderful day as well <3