#also i thought im at least just gonna waste the morning tomorrow with this but then i told stepdad it takes 2 hrs for the exam

[basslinegrave]

i need to study like 5 more topics but they arent in the course papers 🗿

[nevieatiny]

Chasing Shadows in Water

Part 1

Ex!Mingi x Reader/ Reader x San

Summary: You had the hottest boyfriend in campus, handsome, captain of the swimming team, tall, but when he takes you for granted you decide to take a break from relationships, winter break helps to recover and focus on yourself again, but what happens when a new student shows up as a christmas miracle, you swore not to get distracted by a boy gain, but maybe life is giving you a new chance and things do happen for a reason.

Word count: 1,482

Genre: Angst / fluff

Masterlist

You knew this was gonna happen at some point, yes you still love him, and you love how competitive and goal oriented he is, that was one of the things that made you fall for him, but he was also stubborn, and maybe having laser focus could be a bad thing when you are a mess with your personal life, but still you forgive him each and every time, telling yourself he was not doing it on purpose because every time he apologized it felt sincere. but you had a limit, and you knew better than wasting your twenties and your college life with someone like that.

It's been an hour since you arrived, you've been waiting at the table with the same glass of water, thankfully you have reserved one of the booths, because yes, YOU had to make the reservation for your own anniversary at your favorite place, he would never do that for you, you doubt he would even know how to find the restaurant's phone number by himself.

That's when it hit you, why bother?, you were not happy any more, instead you were a nervous wreck every time you went out thinking "would he make it this time?" "does he remember we were supposed to meet today?" "should i text him? maybe he would think im being intense" you asked for the check, you wanted to get out of there as soon as posible.

You checked your phone once you arrived at your apartment, nothing, absolutely nothing, you thought about going to campus right now, there was only one person who would still be at the pool, but to be honest you were mentally exhausted, and tomorrow could be worst so you decided to distract yourself by cleaning your place, the kitchen and even the bathroom, maybe having a clean place would help you, or at least it wouldn't add to your stress. After feeding your cat and taking a shower you felt tired enough to go to sleep

════════════════════════════════════

The next morning you woke up to a text, you saw his name and internally you hoped it was an excuse, even a lame one would be fine, something that would let you know that he was aware of what happened

💙: morning beautiful, hope you have a great day 😘

If you were still hesitating about you decision, that for sure let you know you were doing the right thing, you got ready for your only class of the day, the whole time you thought over and over about what you were about to say, your arguments, and all his possible answers if he even had the audacity to answer, your poor cat suffered the consequences of your overthinking mind, once you put him back on the couch his hair was all over the place facing different directions, he just looked at you for a few seconds before starting to clean himself, you kissed his forehead quickly to avoid loosing and eye and left the apartment.

You had trouble concentrating during class and it showed, whenever the teacher asked something he would look at you, but your mind was blank, thankfully your classmates wouldn't miss a chance to participate and get more points with the teacher, you hated how it affected you, but after today you swore he was not gonna get in you head anymore, you just had to get this over with.

As you approached the pool you felt your hands sweating, even if you were sure of what you were about to do that does not mean you'll be less worried, standing in front of the door you took a deep breath and for the first time in years you prayed everything would go well

You always hated how humid this place was, of course it would be humid, it was a fucking pool, but it was like entering a sauna at first. There were no voices in the background, only the faint noise of water splashing, it was still early, practice wouldn't be till 4, but there was only one stupidly handsome jerk who would be here at this time.

You saw his towel first waiting on the side of the pool, a Hello kitty towel you bought for him months ago claiming you could have matching towels, you were surprised when you came one day after practice and saw the towel along with those of his colleagues, after you asked him what were their reactions and if he wouldn't be embarrassed he just said "why would i be embarrassed of a gift my girlfriend gave me?, and also i'm the captain of the team, they know better that to make fun of me" stupid Song Mingi, knowing what to say all the fucking time, with his stupid handsome face and his stupid swimmer body and his stupid height.

Maybe you were spacing out way to hard looking at that towel because you didn't hear him coming out of the pool "it must be my birthday if i get to see you this early before practice" you jumped, startled for a few seconds before he bent down covering your whole face with his wet hand before kissing you "you scared me" "were you waiting for someone else then?" he towered over you, reaching for his towel right behind you, he took his swimming cap of, shaking his hair like a wet dog, splashing you in the process "ahh, Mingi you're making me wet" you covered your face in attempt to not ruin you makeup, with a frown on your face you straighten you clothes as if that would dry it off "i know i do" you hit his chest right after that, perhaps stronger than usual "ouch, someone's been working out"

With the towel over his head he sat down grabbing you by the hips, pulling you in the middle of his thighs "i've missed you" a small gentle kiss "don't run away from me okay?" another kiss "i have a special surprise for you next week" he rubbed his thumb across you lips before pulling you gently by the neck, kissing you again slowly this time "next week?" he better not be thinking what you are thinking "yes, our anniversary, don't tell me you forgot" it took all the will power in you not to slap him right there, you closed your eyes trying to compose yourself "Song mingi, our anniversary was yesterday" looking at him directly, not breaking eye contact you saw his eyebrow rise, tilting his head as a lost dog would do, after not getting a response you spoke again "i told you a month ago i had a reservation at that fancy sushi place we like" he looked so lost it actually made you feel bad, but you were not gonna get through this again.

"You're joking right?" that's all he said, maybe the frown on your face made him realize you were not a joking at all "i waited almost an hour and a half for you" "and why didn't you call me?" he can't be serious "because i'm tired, i'm so fucking tired Song Mingi, of having to be responsable for everything in this relationship, of coming up with ideas, making plans, and on top of that being responsable to make you be on time, i shouldn't need to be confirming appointments with my own fucking boyfriend as if i was visiting the doctor" don't cry, don't cry "i feel miserable, instead of being happy to see you i feel anxious all the time, wondering if you'll show up or not, and instead of thinking you feel happy to see me it feels as if you're just checking something off your to-do list. And each and every time you say you're gonna make up for it, but i don't want you to" you made a pause when you felt his grip tighten on your hips, you couldn't read his face at all "I'm sorry" that's it?, no it can't be, but after a few seconds of silence you realized that that was in fact it "I don't need you to be sorry" "but i don't know what else to say, i fucked up but i had practice" he was actually an idiot, you're convinced

"This is not about practice, it's about your poor time management skills and your lack of interest" were you being an asshole, most likely yes, but you had to pat yourself in the back for that one " i don't want you to leave the team, i'm not a jerk, i liked you because of how competitive you're, when you set your mind to it you can accomplish anything, except for our relationship. But don't worry, i'm gonna make life easier for you" "Y/n c'mon, don't do this" he finally stood up, caressing your face " I want to break up"

[rosiehufflepuff]

☁️🍑☁️🍑☁️🍑☁️🍑☁️🍑☁️🍑☁️🍑☁️🍑

𝓦𝓮𝓫 𝓸𝓯 𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼

🍑☁️🍑☁️🍑☁️🍑☁️🍑☁️🍑☁️🍑☁️🍑☁️

Summary : Draco emotions is getting the best of him , as you and Harry are paired for astronomy project , causing a big hit in your friendship not only that but also causing you to ask why he was jealous when you are only friends and how he is trying to control who you can have as friends and who you can’t have as you call out his toxic behaviour and Draco discovers his emotions .

Draco X Fem Reader

Warning : jealousy . Possessive Draco , Insecure Draco , Harry and Draco rivalry , Angst , and too much FLUFF

House : Hufflepuff

Year : fifth

Link of the casual outfit : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eMCrdnjLtSN-6Xjysfvffq4HzeX-rJk_/view?usp=drivesdk

———————————————————————

Draco watched as his anger was getting too big that he felt that his body couldn’t contain it anymore , usually Draco could keep a straight face whatever any emotion he felt but at this moment he couldn’t , you were smiling at Potter being all friendly and such , leading his blood to boil , you were extremely friendly with the annoying Gryffindor!! Yes , he get it , Hufflepuff and all , being nice is the nature , that what made him attached to you in first place , but you were talking and being kind To HIS ENEMY ! You shouldn’t even be talking to him !! In first place !! You were his friend ! HIS !!! You should only talk to him not his enemies !!

“ hoho wow ... we are finally seeing emotions on malfoy face “ Theo couldn’t help but comment with a smug smirk as he earns a harsh scowl from the icy blonde boy “ shut it Nott or I swear the next thing that you will see is my shoes squishing your eyes “ “ he is right though Malfoy , your face is literally changing colours , expression , and literally your eyes are stuck on them ! “ Blaise commented more like stating fact ” that is true also !! , draco do you know what we are doing for this project ? ” pansy gave a questionable look to the pale boy, resulting in draco to run his hand in his hair as he breaths heavily , getting up from his chair “ since you all being Nosy Fucking Twats and it seems like you have plenty of time to blab why don’t you all continue on the project , yeah ? “ with that draco left with glare as he walked out of the library to cool off “ he got it so bad ......” Theo commented with a smirk “ yes completely ” earning an agreement from both Slytherins .

Draco went out , breathing deeply the fresh air , you were his friend and his hate for Harry was no secret for you and you were a Hufflepuff and that was no secret for Draco , he knows ‘ the moral code of the Hufflepuffs’ and how strong did you hold into them .

However what irritated and concerned Draco was you and Potter were friends. Before..... You and him even talked , he is fully aware of Potter ideas about slytherin and him....which leaded to a fear of losing you to him......

Does he trust your judgement? ...........of course he does , does he trust Potter ? Dear Salazar NO .... and that what worries him ... also the idea of you and Harry leaves a sour taste in his mouth , a strong one .

you were quite attractive and you had a decent personality And of course what will make the Gryffindor happier than making the slytherin ‘s life miserable!......... by taking you away from him and as much as he despised it, you and Potter are quite fitted for each other ......but no way in the name of Merlin ’s Bread he would give you to him!!

The slytherin prince now knew for sure that universe actually hated his guts cause just in this moment you and Potter walked out , you , smiling as harry is pointing out the stars while you are carrying a sketch book with your quil as you both admired the dark night sky .

Draco didn’t know what is the assignment was nor he cared about it in this moment , all he cared about was to hear what you and Potter talked about , as the way to do that was neither of you can see him . Causing him to blend with the darkness of the trees shadows

“ and you see here , two days from now we will see Jupiter's movement ! “ Harry explained excitingly causing you to smile “ yes i know !! However ........ I feel it would be hard to see from the astronomy tower as all fifth year students would be there for it ...... do you think we would able to glance it , write the essay and fill the star chart ......? “ you couldn’t help but voice your concerned leading Harry to think for a moment

“ Gryffindor tower !!” “ excuse me ........I meant ......say again..........? “ “ we can see it from the Gryffindor tower !!” “ wait really ??” “ yes , most of students won’t think of this “ “ well I’m sure Hermione did think of that “ you said while giggling a little , making Harry himself chuckle “ of course she would “ he said it , rolling his eyes jokingly as he continued “ we can of course go there .......if you have n-no problem I mean ........” “ of course ! Why would I have a problem in Helga ‘s name ? “ you said giving the chosen boy a big smile , making him grin himself “ excellent ! Meet me in front of the fat lady portrait !” ” you got yourself a deal potter ” you said seriously, resulting in him to chuckle ” beautiful deal I would say ” ” well that was smooth ” you said as you gave the boy in glasses a playful look ” really? I thought it was little sap ” yes kinda but still smooth ” ” ouch well I better go before I say more sappy stuff yeah? See ya tomorrow ” ” see ya!!” you both parted ways, not noticing the hidden boiling fire in the very dark.

Draco was furious and angry, he flirted with you AND YOU FLIRTED BACK !! HE ASKED YOU ON A DATE AND YOU ACCPET IT !! that is a project NOT A CHANCE FOR POTTER TO SNOG YOU !!!

He didn’t like what he saw , in fact, it resulted in leaving a huge fury to swallow his body , to him , it was you choosing Potter over him and it left a wound in the pale boy ‘s heart , like everyone else they would .... he didn’t know why it was hurting , .... it felt like you are leaving him behind .....and replacing him with what people always say, is better than him ........ Draco couldn’t control his emotions anymore resulting in him to run to the slytherin dungeon to be alone with his thoughts , he is not gonna give Potter what he always wanted .... which is a breakdown .

🌻————————-🌻

After two days passed , it was the weekend and Merlin , you didn’t wanna to wake up after a whole week the last day always seemed to be so hard but you needed to get up , no matter what , cause no one would Attend it for you .

An annoyed groan slips from your mouth as you jump out of the bed stretching and getting yourself into your yellow and black uniform , last day but one of the busiest , you have heavy school day not forgetting of course the meeting with Harry. However you were quite excited , you are gonna see the Jupiter movement clearly also you never saw the Gryffindor tower from inside so yes , maybe it will be a good day after all.

Walking out to your first class which was herbology a subject you completely adored , being with professor sprout cheerful personality and voice , some people fainting causing a giggle here and there , the whispers of the plants and finally , A current slytherin shared this class with you and being with him made the hardest things bearable , one of these is Snape class of course , with his help and quiet jokes he made you like it a little ,

Giggling at some old jokes Draco did through the classes you shared , you notice that you arrived to the green house .

You stood inside of the green house with Fanged Geranium sitting on the table showing her teeth in front Of you , as you hear the head of your house talking about the quality of it and how to deal with it , your eyes wondered to check on Draco .

You didn’t see him since you entered , you knew draco likes the green house , even though he would never admit it to the world , you saw the twinkle in his eyes when he is looking to the plants however he was no where in the sight ,

it is like the sky heard you or something and wanted to prove you wrong cause suddenly the door of green house opened quietly , revealing the white haired boy , walking as he bows to the older hufflepuff “oh good dear Helga ..... you are so late Mr.Malfoy !!!” “Im very knowledgeable about that Mrs sprout and I give you my apologies....” the older teacher couldn’t help but sigh “ fine , go take your plant next to Miss L/N .....please miss L/N ....update Mr. Malfoy about the topic ....For the rest , please work on your plants carefully ! I don’t wanna accidents !!! Not again !!!!! “

Even thought he looked perfectly put together , the slytherin ‘s face was looking yellowish , was he sick ? , thinking again - you never saw him yesterday at all ... was something going on ....? However you knew he didn’t like to be pressed for stuff so you just watch him as he took his place next to you ...

you give him the warmest comforting smile “ Draco good morning dear .......did you sleep well “ a nod , you get only a nod from the boy so you try to keep the conversation going “ well ... today we are assigned the plant of Fanged Geranium and we need - “ I actually know about it....... I read about it in a book before , you don’t need to waste your energy yeah? “ like that he cuts you off sharply and for some reason he seemed distance , you were weirded out by that kind of behavior but you thought maybe that is his morning attitude which eventually would disappear ...so you both continued to work in silence .

Soon the class ended , you hear Draco sigh as he walks away to his Slytherin friends , ignoring you completely which weirded you out , he never did that he would at least wave or something or make sure his hand brushed yours giving you a smirk ...his new behavior was weird ....you decided to let it to be , till it is lunch time for you both, -to give him a breath of time- , you will make sure to catch him and ask him about his act .

🌻————————🌻

Moving from class to class to class you were half done with the day ......finally Merlin ..........you were getting tired from all these classes as now you have the chance to eat for first time in the day as you skipped the frost meal in exchange of sleeping more , cause Dear Helga....... you were almost dead tired from the whole week and you needed these extra hours .

As you were running from the class , ready for the feast that will be served to your groaning stomach , you got faced by the crowded halls .

Trying to make your way through , you pumped into the slytherin prince, however before you open your mouth , he looked to you in the eyes then just walked away without of course forgetting to pump his shoulder into yours .........saying you were surprised would be underestimating .....what was this all about ...why he is being like that ....you were best friends ......well .....he was your best friend at least.......you were confused and somehow getting an anxious feelings in you Body . That you forget that you froze in mid of hallway till someone told you to move ,resulting into you falling back to the reality , shoving all bad feelings into the back of your head , you start to move to the grand hall .

You sat in the grand hall , Eating your food .......well..........trying , you don’t know what happened but somehow the food didn’t taste as amazing as you imagined or maybe you just lost your appetite, either how, you just ate the food cause your body was in desperate need of energy recharge and the least you need is to faint and let Harry do the work , he was your close friend and that wasn’t fair to anyone in first place .

While eating you glanced The Malfoy Boy , Getting up after finishing his food and going outside , you jump on your feet as fast as you can walking in hurry to catch up to him , as soon as you did , you both were in the halls . “ draco “ you called , no answer “ draco , it is rude to not answer me ! Stop being a child and talk to me “ these words made the pale boy stop in his heels and turn to face you with cold gaze “ wanna talk ? Sure let s talk then ! ”

You took a deep breath to calm your soaring Anger ...someone needed to be the grown up now “ why are you behaving like that !!! What is this all about !!!” “Oh you recall fully what is this all about ....!” You were stunned......... what did you do you? “ what do you mean?” “ well you know what ....forget it !!” “ you know you are not communicating right now !!! I wanna comprehend what is it !” “ oh if I’m not communicating well then why don’t you go to Potter, I’m sure he will fulfill this for you better !”

So this what all of this about ......... with this foolish rivalry!!!...“ draco you totally realize that he is a friend !! Yes, you both are not in best terms but he is still my friend !!” “ yes, but witch !!! being in good terms with him doesn’t mean , being flirtatiousness and snogging him in the gryfindor tower !!! “ “ you were spying on me !!!!” You were sick....you are feeling sick from how the Slytherin boy felt so entitled to spy on you , and question you !!!who does he think Himself is! “ I wasn’t spying , you were the ones who were in public“ “ but you chose to hear it!You were spying !!!” ”Well even if I did !! I was protecting you !! I DONT TRUST HIM “ “ well right now It is you who I don’t trust !!! ....this is not protection THIS YOU TRYING TO CONTROL MY LIFE !! IN WHAT ENTITLEMENT DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN TO FEEL LIKE THAT IS YOUR RIGHT !! IM NOT SOMETHING TO BE OWNED !! I DESERVE RESPECT ! “ you quieted for a moment to take a breath from the pervious outburst before continuing “ And from this sorry .....but I don’t see that you have that for me and I don’t think I would like to be friends anymore “ Draco eyes widened at this for a second almost missing it out before his straight cold look came back “ fine as you wish “ with that he walked away , leaving you behind with tears dripping out of your eyes .

Draco rushed through the halls to reach his perfect room fast , he felt chocked by all crowds that started to fill the halls , he felt the tears already were about to come out and the last thing he needed was the whole school to witness Draco Malfoy crying about a girl that he doesn’t comprehend what he feel about her and hurt him , barely reaching the slytherin common room without breaking down . The slytherin boy shuttered the password out of his lips ,hurrying to his perfect bedroom ignoring the glances that he was getting from his house mates , locking the door as he finally let all his emotions out in the loneliness of his room not attending the rest of the day .

🌻----------------🌻

You were getting ready to meet Harry for astronomy project , trying to hold all the emotions inside, like you did for the rest of the day after the dilemma with Draco , you didn’t see him after and that was better for you , you didn’t know how will you react , you trusted him but he has no respect for you , he was acting like you are his doll not his equal .....he didn’t trust you , you felt so small and disrespected , you wanted to cry not cause of him no but cause you feel you trusted someone one who didn’t see you for who you are but saw your as object but you won’t let someone who thought like that stop your life , you looked at yourself noticing your outfit : a lacy off white blouse with lantern sleeves with Peter Pan collar . blue straight ankle length jeans and beige ankle boots ,

breathing a deep breath , you look put together and that is what you wanted , you didn't want anyone to notice your mood and the tears that slipped here and there , the last thing you need to hear ‘are you okay ‘ , cause you knew for sure these words will make you cry , and you don’t wanna to explain to Harry The Who stupidity of situation and causing more drama .

Rushing out of the warm dorm of the Hufflepuff common room to the halls as you walked fast to read the fat lady portrait praying to helga in her grave to not make you face to face with the slytherin boy , as you reach the painting you took a deep breath, Causing a look from the lady in painting , you felt for a second like you almost forgot to breath from how anxious you were till you feel a hand on your shoulder , causing you to turn , you see the brown haired boy with his famous smile as if it is contiguous you smiled without feeling “ did I make you wait for long?” “ oh no no no not at all !! I just came here ! “ “ so ummm shall we ?” You nod with a smile , the gryffindor muttered the password of the week , showing a grand hole as entrance, you both crawl inside of the Gryffindor room , taking the whole inside of you, the room was warm and cozy just missing some plants and It would be a copy of your own house room somehow that was calming .

The chosen boy was correct, not many people was there and of course Hermione was there with some Ravenclaw and Ron causing you to giggle a bit without feeling it , knowing what this was about Harry himself let an airy laugh “ yes yes you were correct ....now stop , she is giving us looks!! “ the boy whispered trying to hold his laughter , indeed the girl was giving you look like you both are crazy or something , as you both failed to hold your laughter , but it was quite humorous for some reason , some gryfindors were there with their groups but it was so few That you can count them on your fingers .

Both of you and Harry settled down close to the window , talking as you admired the stars, trying to fill the chart and waiting to see Jupiter movement “ god when the bloody hell will it show “ you couldn’t help but giggle as you hear Ron hearing him resulting to get a hit from Hermione “ he is right though Harry we have been waiting for long “ you said as you stretched your legs that almost were falling off from having them in same position for long “ “I think it will show soon ....” “ SHH it is happening !!” Hermione screamed on top of her lungs causing Ron to roll his eyes .

you watched......... memorised by the whole thing , it was marvellous thing ... all this beauty happening by nature ...nature amazed you with everything it provided and how beautifully it is done , you for sure won’t forget that ....

🌻----------------🌻

After long time of writing the essay , giggling at Ron foolishness , joking around , and helping each other in that pain in the arse assignment.... Yet it was somehow fun, painful work but fun .

later it was done ,Harry walked you to the painting and after huge back and forth, you convinced him that you would be fine going back to your room and nothing to be worried about.

you are now enjoying your walk to the hufflepuff common room , feeling the cold air and the soundlessness, cooling you, ......finally the weekend , done with the deadly assignment , sighing deeply , you realised you reached the entry , you play the rhythm to enter , ready to be welcomed by the talking plants and the warm room ,

This positivity get demolished by seeing a curtain blonde head youth sitting in front of the entry like a dog scolded by his owner , as soon as he sees you , he is quick on his feet , fixing his hair by running a hand in it

“ you are here .....y/n .....” “ ..........Malfoy ......” “ please don’t call me that ......” “ why it is your name , eh ? “ “y/n .........please......... don’t ........” you raise an eyebrow to him questionably , knowing your slient question, you see his face going from emotion to emotion to emotion as he tried to open his mouth to speak “I-I-I apologize for my foolishness and you are fully ........correct .....the way I behaved ...............childish was the way I acted ......I apologize again ......” draco sharp grey eyes was staring hard into your soul trying to read your face , try to see if you hated him or does he has any chance with your forgiveness .

You close your eyes breathing heavily for a second , you didn’t want to look into his eyes , you saw how swollen his bloody shot eyes were and he looked miserable however though some parts of you wanted to forgive the boy, you weren’t satisfied “draco .......the reason of your -“ “ I respect you ........way more than the words can tell .....and you totally deserve to know why this behavior..............it is not cause .....I don’t respect you no ..................it is cause some stupid silly emotions that let......me act like that -“ “ jealousy “

Gulping hard at the name of the emotion , Draco never felt jealous ever !! He is a Malfoy people felt jealous from him not the opposite what he wanted he got it , so this was a hard pill to swallow to him “ ...yes and had some fears.......... about potter.........and his thought about me ....resulting you .............to ........stop being with me ................. “ you held draco hands , finally realizing his feelings And for first time you see a rosiness tint on his cheeks , draco wasn’t very touching persona ....as he was so tense about it but he was used to it from you, later two years from knowing you nevertheless, he never flushed , he was accepting, awkwardly though , but no blushing , yet in his state you won’t point it out , it was already hard for him opening up and you appreciated and you wanna be comforting as you can as you try to calm his creeping anxiety . “ Draco I would never replace or leave cause someone opinion ever !! You mean so much to me !! I can’t imagine you out of my life ....you are very important and unreplaceable to me and thank you for apologising “ you say as you hug him , causing his body to go tense before warping his shaking arms around before squeezing you tightly as he bury his face in your shoulder , your run your hand in his soft messy hair as you hear him speak softly “ I discovered a new emotion also ....” “hmm ?” ..........Love..............”

__________________________________________

I don't know if there is going to be part two!! But I hope you all like this

[amazingphilza]

snapchat :: c!tommy x reader

fluff / angst , platonic , gender neutral ! first request whoop whoop :D [check pinned for more info on requests]

synopsis: ‘what’s so bad about adding every person on snapchat?’ tommy thought. unknowingly, with all the other people he begins talking to during exile, one ends up being you; tubbo’s younger sibling. that is until you both visit tommy in logstedshire.

cw: i purposely misspell a few words for the texting part, i hope it’s still readable for y’all! and i haven’t actually used snapchat in years so let’s pretend i know what i’m doing :)

tommy smiled at his brand new phone

first thing he does? install snapchat and reddit

if he couldn’t talk to his best friends face to face anymore, at least he had people online to talk to, right?

tommy hoped from all his possessions dream would destroy, he could at least keep a phone

without much thought, tommy opened snapchat and began adding every account and messaging them the same obnoxious message

BE MY FRIEND . MESSAGE BACK NOW.

most people chose ignore tommy, not having a clue why he was messaging them

but as for you, when you had the notification that someone added you on snapchat and started aggressively messaging you, it made you curious

you read their user

“wife haver”?? huh???

instead of immediately blocking the person, you replied back

what?

not even less than a second later you get a reply back

OH MY GOD FINALLY SOMEONE

IM DYING

without context, you were more than confused

genuinely dying is very alarming but you shouldn’t text a random stranger your last words

huh?

THE GREEN BASTARD TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME

YOURE ALL I HAVE LEFT

plwase helo

Help

where did tou go

Ohm hgod

hHello?

NOOOO NOT YOU TOO

PLEASR

you laughed at the person’s desperation and ignored the messages

if the stranger wasn’t going introduce themselves, you wouldn’t either

however, after a while you realized you had over 100 snapchat notifications within an hour of trying to ignore the person

however it was just jumbled up words and useless spam, nothing important

as if the stranger would said anything important to your concern anyway

do you ever shut up??

fuck you

a normal person wouldve taken offense by these messages but you found them quite amusing

it wasn’t like you had anything else better to do

and this acceptance was the start of your odd friendship with the stranger

you were still on edge because you had no idea who they were and their intentions but the anonymity was mutual nonetheless

if the desperate spamming “wife haver” isn’t going to formally tell you who they actually were, you weren’t going to risk exposing yourself first

but in the past few weeks, you and the person had normal conversations apart from the first day they messaged you

well as normal as you could’ve expected from someone named “wife haver”

they were the first to send an actual snap as well

that was when you found out the “wife haver” was an obnoxious boy that looked around your age, maybe a slightly older

he had sent you a photo of him holding a thumbs up and trying to smile when he was clearly upset

just got all my stuff exploded again, feeling good

you noticed his messy blonde hair and tattered clothes

what the hell happened to this guy?

part of you was confused, and the other was concerned

u good bro??

well

i don’t have anymore tools and materials if that’s anything

so no

this is shit

lmao it was probably deserved

FUCK YOU!!!!!

im kidding that’s sad

but like do u actually need stuff?

you contemplated sending your next message and thought of the consequences

but in the end, you were probably better off than him so if he did try to do something suspicious, you could easily just leave with your trident or defend yourself

i can bring some things over if you’d like

please oh my god it’s so boring here

where the hell do you even live???

it finally hit that you would be visiting this mysterious person

you never really had much to do during the day and he had nothing against your enchanted netherite armor when compared to his worn-out clothes

you were surprised that he was quick to be comfortable with you visiting him so continued to message the boy

if you live nearby i can just stop over and bring some spare diamond tools and armor if you’d like or smth

DIAMOND !,?’/:@!?:/-',(

ya sure lol

WTF

GOOD SHIT LAD! THANKS

WHEN DO U WANT TO VISIT???

his shock and excitement made you smile

maybe this wasn’t a bad idea

before replying, you quickly ran to your storage room you gather your spare items

instead of normally texting, you decided to take a picture of all the enchanted tools and armor and send back a snap

i’m down for tomorrow, turn on your snapmaps so i can come by ;D

he quickly replied back with handfuls of ‘holy shits’ and ‘YEAHS’

you couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear which caught the attention of your older brother who had just walked in to get blocks from the wall of chests

“ew why are you smiling at your phone like that?”

“oh shut up, tubbo”

“it’s weird”

you roll your eyes at him in a playful matter

“whatever! i’m gonna be out tomorrow to visit a friend, okay?”

“you have friends? wow, sounds like a first”

“you’re such a dick!!” you yell at him whilst trying to hold in your laughter

“oh yeah? go on, tell me about this friend of yours then. meeting strangers online, hm?”

“if you’re so concerned, you can come with if you’re not busy with whatever a president does. i promise they’re not some weirdo like you”

tubbo’s tone was sarcastic but he agreed then left you to your own thoughts

you were excited for tomorrow that you were restless in your bed when nighttime had came

somehow you managed to fall asleep from tiredness in the middle of the night

soon enough it was morning

before doing anything, you checked your phone and went through all your notifications

you then checked snapchat, browsing snapmaps and realized how far you had to travel

despite the long travel, you brought yourself up from your bed and gathered all the items you were going to bring

you stuffed a full set of enchanted diamond armor, tools, and over a stack of golden carrots all in your inventory

after finishing all your preparations, you searched for your older brother

with just a loud yell of his name he appeared almost instantly

“you ready to go, tubbo?”

“yep! you know where you’re going right?”

you scoffed at the question

“of course!”

and with that, the two of you traveled on foot until you reached the ocean

you had brought 2 boats with you knowing that you couldn’t imagine being in the same boat as your brother; it would’ve ended up in endless bickering

after a while of being at sea, tubbo started to become impatient

“what the hell! how far does this person live, y/n??”

“i dunno!”

you knew the general direction you were supposed to be going to after studying your snapmaps all morning but you couldn’t check how much farther it would take to get there; there was obviously no signal in the middle of the ocean

it felt like forever before you saw land in the horizon

suddenly you regained all the energy you have lost from rowing

“there!! that place with the white tent, i can barely see it”

“finally”

with the burst of energy, you got to land in no time

the moment you got off your boat, the blonde spotted the two of you and ran in your direction

once appearing nearly feet apart, he stared at your brother who also had the shocked expression

“TOMMY?”

“TUBBO?”

your brother had more of a confused expression whilst the other boy seemed a bit mad

maybe he was always mad considering the endless conversations you had with him ranting about some ‘green bastard’

but tubbo quickly got defensive, stepping in front of you

you didn’t understand how they knew each other beforehand, but at the same time you never caught up with tubbo’s friends either

you needed answers

“what’s going on?”

“y/n! you were messaging tommy this whole time? why didn’t you tell me?”

tubbo was clearly frustrated and a feeling of guilt washed over you

it didn’t click that you never exchanged names and admitting it did not seem believable

tubbo was in complete shock, trying to process everything that was happening

“WHAT?! AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING?”

you mumbled out your words

“a few weeks, i can’t remember”

“uh, yeah sorry” tommy had confirmed your statements. “i didn’t even know you had a sibling, tubbo! i actually didn’t know their name until now as well..”

“HUH??”

“but if i knew i was messaging a tub-ling, i wouldn’t have in the first place!”

“what the fuck tommy!!!”

“no, but how do you even know each other?” you had interrupt the two

tubbo had chosen his words carefully

“we’re... friends”

tommy had seemed upset at this

“tubbo....”

“no, don’t talk to me, tommy. you were exiled for a reason. y/n? give him the stuff you wanted to him and let’s go, this was a waste of time”

you were saddened but obliged, you didn’t want to anger your brother even more

“fuck you, tubbo! can’t believe this was how you visit me for the first time, i don’t even want your pity shit”

before you could react, tubbo led you to the back of his boat

he got in the front and quickly rowed away from the land you barely stayed on, leaving your boat behind on the shores

you looked back at tommy who already had left back to his tent

the boat ride was silent and full of sorrow until you arrived back at l’manburg

once you got home you immediately opened snapchat to message tommy

hey tommy i’m really sorry about today. i had no idea,,,

you thought he would’ve ignored your message but instead replied right after

but your heart sank at reading the message

it’s fine

i think it’s best we stop talking y/n

you didn’t want to lose a friend so quickly but after all the tension from today, you didn’t know how to come back from it

so instead of arguing you agreed, even if it wasn’t honest

yeah, me too

and that was the last message you sent to tommy

even though the whole situation was confusing from the start, it didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy the random conversations you had

the bizarre encounter was unforgettable

it made you even sadder when you realized the first time you two used each other’s names through text would also be the last

a/n: ngl, i didn’t think i would finish this on a kinda angsty ending but here we are! and grrr it’s 4am and i just wanted to finish this,, let’s hope there aren’t that many grammar mistakes LMAO anyway i hope y’all enjoyed <3

[faithinthefuture28]

Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship

**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”

I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:

2013

L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker). 

H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily

H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song. 

L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy.  I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).

L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes

L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex

2014

L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back). 

L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones

L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs

L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)

H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and  response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)

H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean). 

2015

H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about). 

L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)

H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do). 

L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********

H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives. 

H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together. 

L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home. 

 2016-2017

H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you. 

H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door,  hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****

H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad

H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me 

L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).

H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)

L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it

L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u

2018-2019

L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H 

L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER 

L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy 

L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now

L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of

L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********

H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******

H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it

H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******

H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person? 

H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)

H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28 

H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her

H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)

H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”. 

[burgundyhaven]

Runaway

(Kit Walker x Female Reader)

Description: You run away from your parents house and your bf kit,helps and goes along with you.

Word count:1240

a/n: idk if where he works at is really a gas station or an auto shop so im going with auto shop sorry for any confusion. Huge amount of grammar and punctuation errors (sorry).Also this ones somewhat fluffy? im not sure, hope you enjoy!!

You had just ran away from your parents, they were extremely unsupportive of your relationship with kit. They thought that he was unfit for you as he didn’t have much money and he worked at an auto shop.

Your plan was to get as far away from town as possible because you knew that your parents would go after you and would accuse kit of being the one who made you leave. Though you did leave mainly because of kit, he never told you to run away or even brought up the idea so you didn’t want kit to get in any trouble.

You were driving with no particular destination in mind. You passed by the auto shop Kit worked at and you knew it was closed but you also knew he would still be in there somewhere because it was still only around 8:30 after all.

You drove your car into the shop and almost immediately you hear Kit’s voice yell out “sign says closed!”

You get out of your car and proceed to walk towards the area where you knew kit would be

Kit heard your footsteps, though he didn’t know it was you

He gets up when he hears the foot steps getting closer

“Didn’t you read the si-“ Kit said alarmed at the sight of you with rosy cheeks and eye bags so prominent that your undeeyes were at least 3 shades darker than your skin

“Y/N, my god what’s wrong”

“Kit. I ran away”

“What do you mean you ran away”

“I mean I ran away, I can’t take being there anymore. I couldn’t stand hearing how they talked about you and how they would constantly torment me everyday 24/7 nonstop. I needed to leave.”

Kit put his hands on your cheeks while his thumb wiped away a tear that slipped away from your eye

“Hey,hey,hey everything’s gonna be okay, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I know” you said sniffling

After a while you decided you needed to get going as you knew your parents would be after you soon

“Kit, I’ve gotta go my parents will be here any minute looking for me”

“Alright doll do you know where you’re gonna go? I don’t want you getting lost- I should come with you”

“I don’t know Kit, it just doesn’t seem like a good idea”

“what do you mean, you’ll be safer if i go with you. cant have a girl as beautiful as you all alone at night. besides, won’t your parents be here lookin for me? they’ll be threatening me to tell them where you’re at”

“Okay yeah i suppose that does make sense.”

“alright then, where are we headed”

“well... i haven’t exactly planned that part out yet unfortunately. do you got anywhere we could go to”

“I do kinda have a really small house i own about an hour away from here. it’s mainly for holidays and getaways but i guess we could go there”

“kit, that’s more than fine. anything’s better than being here”

“alright but we better get goin before your parents show up here.”

“yeah probably”

kit could see the worry in your eyes,he brought you closer to him and reassured you

“(y/n) look, your parents aren’t gonna be able to find us i promise you, we’ll be safe there for at least a year if not more. you don’t got anything to worry about”

“yes, i know ” you said staring up into kits eyes

“kit we need to go now”

“Okay let me lock up everything start the car Im driving”

kit got in the car and started driving to the location of the house

“kit wait”

“what’s wrong doll”

“you don’t have any of your stuff, if we’re supposed to be staying there for a year, you need at least a few of your things we can’t risk coming back into town”

“will it make you feel better?”

“yes, a lot actually”

“fine i’ll go but i’m only gonna get a few things”

“okay good get whatever you can”

kit quickly got out of the car and went into his house and he ran in and got things like money,clothing,bills,paperwork,and the keys to the house of course

kit immediately started driving the second he got back in the car, he was not going to waste any time

“kit i don’t think you brought enough things, did you turn off everything and made sure it didn’t look like anybody was just in the house?”

“yes i did everything, and don’t worry i have enough things to last me at least 10 years”

You were on the road for about an hour and a half. You both talked (and laughed) a lot during the trip. You noticed it had begun to snow around the middle of the ride. It wasn’t much but it was enough for it to visibly start accumulating on the ground and on the windshield.

Once you arrived, you’re made sure to quickly get all of your things in the house and began to worry about if your parents could somehow find you through your license plate

“Kit what if they put out a search for me and they put the license plate and the car out on posters. They’re gonna find me and make me go back. I can’t go back there- I- I wont.”

“And you’re not gonna have to. I’ll put the car in the garage and I could remove the license plate,nobody’s gonna suspect anything, alright?”

“yeah, i guess i’m just overthinking it. thanks kit. for everything for all the helps with this, heck i’d probably be back in my house crying myself to sleep if it weren’t for you.”

“of course, i’ll do anything for my girl. And (y/n) you weren’t overthinking anything. i’d be thinking the same as you if i had parents like that”

you smiled; kit following with a wide smile revealing his dimples

“Now lets go inside before the other houses hear us and think somethings goin on”

“Alright, so you’re sure my parents wont be showing up here anytime soon?”

“I’m more than sure of it doll”

You went inside, made sure all the entrances (including the windows) were locked. You and kit watched tv and ate the small snack you brought with you and some of the things he had in a pantry.

“We should get some food tomorrow half of this stuffs beyond expired” Kit said as he read off the expiration dates of cans and packages.

“ I know I know, but we’d better cover up so if any of my moms friends are in the area, they won’t be able to make out our faces”

“well that works out perfectly considering the the snowstorm out there” kit said making you laugh

“it’s almost 2:30 am we oughta go to bed”

“fine i guess so” kit whined, reminding you of how he was when you were little

You both got ready for bed. You put on one of kits shirts and some long pajama bottoms and put on a (clean) white tshirt and flannel print pants.

You both hopped in bed and layer close to each other to keep warm as the insulation wasn’t all that good and it was extremely cold out. However, Kit didn’t get all that cold usually so it was mainly just for you.

You fell asleep in each other’s arms and it felt so good to know that you would be seeing Kit every morning instead of having to see him in secret.

[bokutosbestie2]

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Ah thanks to those who are reading this story! Love you all ☻

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Y/N Pov:

After getting dropped off by Atsumu, I check my phone to only see 20 miss calls from Semi.

Yikes, he probably thought I died or something...

I decide to call him back.

" Hello. "

" Y/N WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU! I WAS TRYING TO FIND YOU ALL OVER THE PARTY! " he shouted through the phone.

" OK FIRST OF ALL CALM DOWN! I'M OK DON'T WORRY! "

" Thank GOSH! I REALIZED YOU WERE GONE AROUND 3 am?! "

" Wow what a nice friend realizing I was gone after 5 hours at the party! " I say with sarcasm.

" HEY! AT LEAST I REMEMBER?! "

" YEA! You right... " I laughed.

" OH ALSO?! How did you get home your car is still at the Venue?! " Semi asks confused.

" WELL!  A guy name Atsumu helped me out when I was completely out! "

" ATSUMU?! THE VOLLEYBALL PLAYER?! LIKE THE REALLY GOOD ONE?! "

" Yea?! The one with the twin! "

Why is he so surprised?

" DO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER?! "

" No, we just met last night! How do you know him ?" I asked curiously.

" We used to play volleyball together in high school same with his brother Osamu! Also, Osamu catered for the party! "

" Hmm, interesting... Well, I met Osamu at his restaurant."

" Osamu is the calmer twin but he still pretty crazy, on the other hand, Atsumu is a big flirt with the girls watch out!" Semi laughs on the phone.

" Yea not interested. "

" Haha, that's a loss for him! Anyways you need a break from volleyball players. " Semi laughs.

" Yea I do! Alright SEMI SEMI I'm gonna get going now I have to finish a couple of things from work. Also, I need to cure this hangover before tomorrow. "

" Ok then ILL LET YOU GO! BYE! "

" Bye Semi! "

We both end the call.

Now I need to find a way to get my car before noon because I have tons of work to do.

I can't ask Semi to take me there because he staying at a friend's house, I can probably ask Kenma to help me. I haven't seen him in a while so maybe we can catch up a little also.

I shoot a text to Kenma.

Texting on phone:

Y/n: “ Hey are you free right now? “

5 minutes later

Kenma: " yea why? "

Y/n: " Do you think you can come over right now?!

Kenma: " I don't see why not. "

Y/n: " PERFECT! "

I put my phone down on the counter and change into different clothes because I was still in Atsumu shirt.

I guess I'll be keeping the shirt until we meet again, or if we ever.

30 minutes later

I hear my doorbell ring, and it was Kenma.

" KENMAAA COME IN! " I say happily."

" Hey what's up its been a while! " he says as he went in for a hug.

" Nothing really.. "

" Bs I heard you and Kageyma broke up.. "

" FROM WHO?! " I say confused.

" Hinata... "

" OH YEAAA HIS BESTFRIEND... "

" Yea, he didn't really tell him but Hinata suspected when he texts him " how are things going with y/n, " and let's say he didn't take it well. " Kenma said in a conflicted tone.

" WHY did he not take it WELL! He the one who broke up with me?!" I say angrily.

" Did he ever tell you why he broke up with you? " Kenma asked.

" No, he just said I dOn'T LOvE yOu aNyMoRE "

I’m so annoyed right now why is he acting like the victim.

" That's it? " Kenma was surprised.

" YEA! "

" Oh wow, I really didn't think that the reason like... Strange."

" Who cares, I don't like him either. "

Obviously, I was still hurting but it's fine I don't need him.. Screw him.

" If you say so! "

Kenma Pov:

Yea no she still likes him...

Y/N Pov:

" Enough about him... DO you want to help me get my car?! "

" Wheres your car? " Kenma asks confused

" UH well, It's at a Venue.. "

" Did you go to a party or something? "

" Yea Semi had a party yesterday and let's say I got a little too wasted... BUT don't worry someone helped me out... "

" Uh, who helped you out? "

" I don't know if you know him but he is also a Volleyball player, his name is Atsumu the last name is Miya? "

" Wait a minute the one with the twin? "

" YEA HIM!"

" Are guys friends?! " Kenma asks

" No, I literally just met him last night. "

" Atsumu is a nice guy he just a big flirt. "

" THAT'S WHAT SEMI SAID?! "

" Well, it's because he is always out with a new girl every week. "

" Yea no thanks... " I say weirded out.

" Ok, so are we going to get your car?! " Kenma asks in a bored tone.

" Ok, let us go! "

I got into Kenma's car, luckily the venue is only 20 minutes away.

" AHH MY Precious car!! " I shouted.

" SHEEZ be louder next time will ya. "

" Kenma stop being grumpy... " I say as I try to keep in my laugh.

" Yea whatever go get your car now! "

" Already kicking me out... "

" Yes! "

" AH YOUR SO COLD! " I laugh

" Ok well thank you Kenma! We actually need to hang out ok?! "

" Fine... We will one of these days. " he smiles.

I get out of the car, wave to Kenma then I get in my car.

Finally, I can go home now and start working on projects.

After the 20 minute drive, I get in my house and start working on the three projects.

Meanwhile At this time:

Atsumu pov:

I'm sitting on the couch, my phone started buzzing uncontrollably.

What the heck.

I flip my phone over only to see texts from my friends. I open up the group chat and see something unexpected. A PHOTO OF ME AND Y/N IN THE CAR ON “ THE PEOPLES “ TWITTER PAGE.

The big 4 :

Sakusa: Oh so is she another new girl?

Bokuto: Already Atsumu?!

Hinata:  Isn't that Kageyama's ex!

Me: NO NO THEY GOT IT WRONG WE ARE NOT GOING OUT!

Me: ALSO HINATA DID YOU JUST SAY?! KAGEYAMA EX?!

So that's who broke her... What a small world.

Sakusa: Sure that's what you say about every girl..

Bokuto: Can we get a Rip

Hinata: Rip.. Also Yes

Sakusa: Rip

Sakusa: Damn already making moves on a girl who broke up with her boyfriend.

Bokuto: Wow..

Hinata: HAHA I WONDER HOW KAGS IS GOING TO REACT TO THIS..

Me: CAN YOU GUYS STOP THAT?!  YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG...

Sakusa: Ok then if she, not a random hook up who is she, and does she know she on " the people's " Twitter account label as mystery girl?!

Bokuto: YEA DOES SHE KNOW!?

Oh my, we just met and she isn't going to like this.

Me: NO SHE DOESNT KNOW...But she was some random girl at the party Osamu was catering. I decided to help her out because she was alone and drunk so I took her to Osamu's house, so she can sober up. The next morning I took her home because she left her car at the Venue... I DIDNT THINK THE Paparazzi WOULD CARE SO MUCH?!

Hinata: Wow Atsumu that was nice of you.

Bokuto: ^^^

Sakusa: Well you're going to have to tell her or do something about it because we all know how crazy your fangirls get.

Me: Fine fine let me tell her right now.

After texting the group chat, I was about to text y/n only to remember... I don't have her number, but I think Osamu has her number.

I texted Osamu, now I have to wait for him to respond.

Now back to y/n :

Finally, I'm almost done with this projects...

Then all of sudden I get a text from Tendou.

I looked at my phone and I can't believe what I see... He sends me a screenshot of Me and Atsumu in the car... It was trending on Twitter. The title was " Star setter mystery girl? "

Texting On phone:

Tendou: I didn't know you guys were going out?

Y/n: OH MY GOSH? Please tell me this is a joke?!

Tendou: No I don't think so...

Y/n: WE ARE NOT GOING OUT... I MET HIM LAST NIGHT!

I explained to Tendou what happened last night.

Tendou: this Has to be the most miss interpreted picture ever. LMAO!!

Y/n: YEA IT IS NOW EVERYONE AT WORK IS GOING TO ASK ME... OH NO KAGEYAMA PROBABLY SAW THIS!

Tendou: HAHAHA.. WHO CARES HE BROKE UP WITH YOU... His loss..

Y/n: YOUR RIGHT! BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE KNOW AS ATSUMU ANOTHER GIRL?! I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY!

Tendou: Has he talked to you about it?!

Y/n: No HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE MY NUMBER?!

Tendou: Well this is going to be fun to watch...

Y/n: NO it's NOT..

I stressfully put my phone down on the counter...

What I'm I going to do?! HOW DID I GET INTO TO THIS MESS?

I hear another notification go off on my phone... It was an unknown number.

Text message:

Hey can we talk?

Y/n: Who is this?

Atsumu: Its Atsumu

Y/n: NO WE CANT TALK DID YOU SEE TWITTER?

Atsumu: YES I KNOW THAT'S WHY I WANT TO TALK?

Y/n: Also? HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER?

Atsumu: OSAMU GAVE IT TO ME!

oh, yea I forgot I gave him my number.

Atsumu: WELL HEAR ME OUT! This will die down tomorrow, me and the team are leaving for Osaka in the morning so you don't even have to see me again.

Y/n: Sheez that's a harsh way to put it.

Atsumu: I mean if you want to see me you can~

Oh my, I can hear his flirtatious tone from here.

Y/n: NO!

Atsumu: AW you're SO MEAN!

Atsumu: ALSO I DIDNT KNOW Kageyama was your boyfriend...

Y/n: Who told you that?

Atsumu: Hinata! We play on the same team..

Y/n: OH Gosh NOW IT SEEMS LIKE IM JUMPING AROUND Guy to Guy...

Atsumu: YOU THINK IT MAKES YOU SEEM BAD? IT MAKES ME SEEM BAD TOO!

Y/n: Atsumu Shut up! Everyone knows you're a big flirt.. now I'm going to seem like I'm one of your little playthings.

Y/n: WHAT IM GOING TO SAY at WORK PEOPLE ARE GOING TO ASK IF WE HOOKED UP?!

Atsumu: I have an Idea.. What if we pretend we're dating?

Y/n: HUH?

Atsumu: It will fix both our reputation.. I won't be seen as the guy who hooks up with every chick and people at work can stop questioning you. There's a BONUS we can make Kageyama jealous... You can win him back.

Y/n: IF we do this... together in private we don't have to act as a couple right.. I just MET YOU...

Atsumu: Yea don't worry your not even my type, this should be easy because I won't be near you.

Y/n: DEAL!

Atsumu: PERFECT! Just let me know if anything happens tomorrow! Ill fill you in too!

Y/n: Fine.

I place my phone down on the nearby table.

WHAT HAVE I DONE? IS THIS REALLY GOING TO WORK?

Atsumu pov:

Why couldn't have it been with much cuter girl? Now no girl is going to talk to me.. Stupid paparazzi.

Chapter 5

[gwoongi]

(abandoned) it’s late, just stay

john wick / reader genre: sugar daddy au rating: general, mature themes words: 2.4k warnings: sugar daddy relationship, slight john wick 2 spoilers i guess a/n: this 1 is for me. i wrote her in a heat,,,she’s literally not finished. but im adding her to my online portfolio 4 the memories. Also fyi the profile was made before i indulged in seeking arrangements and as a sugar baby i know that ur not allowed to mention 90% of brooklynbaby’s bio in ur bio but who cares man this is fiction and im making it up

At that, she tossed her head back with a laugh and leant forward. “And since when are sugar babies a relationship status?”

Sometimes, John doesn’t really know how he gets himself into awkward situations.

The first few occasions, he figured it was merely a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. While, actually, this always worked out in his favour, John began to notice that it was more frequent that he ended up at a bar with some people he didn’t really know, or being invited to a baby shower as the date of a woman he had never even met before. Granted, John enjoyed company whenever he could get it, and whenever it avoided conflict; however socialism has never been his strongest asset. No, he simply prefers silent gestures or glances across rooms, ‘eye conversations’ where he says hello and nothing else for the remainder of the evening.

“You just need to loosen up a bit,” is what Addy had told him, whilst slipping him a glass of straight Bourbon. It had been a relatively quiet evening in the Continental, and just when John thought he could have five minutes of peace and quiet, Addy has slipped in his line of sight. “You know, go out. Make new friends.”

“You’re my friend,” John replied. He made no room to elaborate on that statement, swallowing the contents of the drink and pushing it back to her with a short nod. She sighed and rolled her eyes, doing her job.

“No, you know what you really need?” He didn’t answer, glancing at her through his hair as she filled his drink and rested her weight on her elbows. Instantly, John didn’t like the feeling in his stomach when Addy raised her eyebrows suggestively, tugging on her bottom lip with newfound excitement: “I think you need to get laid.” 

And when John scoffed with humour, she tried again, “and not like, laid as in you have a one night stand. No- hear me out, John! You should invest in a sugar baby. You know, someone you can spend time with when you’re not doing the dirty work for everybody else. It’s fun, and frisky, and also means you can start spending some of the millions you have stashed somewhere not being used.”

She tutted like a scolding mother, “Selfish boy.” Addy then smiled, “Maybe instead of retirement, what you really need is something to help you unwind.”

John scoffed, gulping back the Bourbon. “I’m married.”

At that, she tossed her head back with a laugh and leant forward. “And since when are sugar babies a relationship status?”

That’s really all the thinking he had done on the subject of John- John fucking Wick- investing in a sugar baby. He simply took it in stride, almost complimented by the assumption that he was attractive and rich enough to have someone leaning on him for money and sex, and stored it away for future thought when he was lost and drunk. John never actually considered the possibility of “putting his bills to good use” until fucking Santino D’Antonio decided to light a bonfire inside his house. Having lost virtually everything related to Helen, he found himself back at the Continental, back to listening to Addy sympathetically give her condolences and five seconds later, introducing him to Seeking Arrangements.

John doesn’t know why he’s doing this, staring at the laptop screen that smiles at him. For circumstances, Addy had loaned him her laptop for the evening he spends at the Continental, and he’s too busy browsing the elaborately made profiles that he barely registers the fact that he is still wearing his suit. He pulls at the cuffs of his blazer and is midway through taking it off when he stumbles across a profile- one of which is oddly amusing- titled brooklynbaby. He racks his mind for the reference but can’t seem to place it.

“A sugar baby suggests that I sleep with them, and as I said,” John had mentioned back in the bar, “I’m married.”

Addy had grabbed his hands and groaned, “Look- you might surprise yourself. And, I’m not suggesting that you throw your wife away for somebody new. I’m just saying you need to...make use of yourself. Honestly, you’re too sexy to be stored away like this. Most sugar babies are dumb and unobservant, they won’t even know who you are.”

brooklynbaby makes an adorably hilarious first impression, and John is hesitant to browse her profile. If he wanted to “make use of himself” by investing all of his personal time into somebody who in truth wanted him for his dick and his bank balance, then it needed to be somebody at least near to his wavelength. Somebody who was smart, but clueless at the same time, and somebody who was the complete opposite of Helen. The last thing he needed on top of a handful of a baby was the guilt of moving on. But still, even when he pinned her tab and returned to scrolling through the profiles, John realised that most sugar babies were simply trolls hidden behind pretty pictures, or girls who wanted money for pleasure and not for need.

He went back to brooklynbaby. Three times. Three times, before he pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering a quiet, “Oh, fuck it,” and favoriting her account, and pressing to send a message.

Even online, John was never great with words. He typed, and backspaced, and typed again, trying to come up with something interesting to make up for the bland profile he made around thirty minutes ago.

From: johnwick So. You like dogs?

If Addy were here, she would have slapped him.

Almost immediately after it sends, John lets out a frustrated noise and tears his gaze away from the screen. Dating just wasn’t like how it was when he met Helen. Why did everything have to be so complicated, and mysterious, and why the hell does he even have to waste his money on somebody when he could be saving this money to eventually, whenever the day comes, retire? John wrestles with the dilemma of deleting the whole account when a notification bell rings through the laptop speakers.

From: brooklynbaby yes, I love dogs!!! :D (typing) do you have a dog?

John breathes a sigh of relief.

From: johnwick Yes. I do.

From: brooklynbaby oh, great. :) (typing)

John’s leg begins to bounce quickly, the table wavering with the glass on top, like an earthquake. Suddenly, brooklynbaby stops typing and John stills. Why did she stop? Did he do something wrong? Honestly, women are so hard to please nowadays.

From: brooklynbaby want to be my sugar daddy?

Never mind.

From: johnwick I would.

From: brooklynbaby cool

Neither him or brooklynbaby says anything for a few moments, and John doesn’t notice. After-all, he is still a working man, busy with life and revenge and trying to stay alive for more than three seconds. When he goes back to the laptop and sees no reply, he frowns.

From: johnwick I am sorry. I really don’t know what I’m doing. What am I supposed to say?

He makes a mental reminder to have words with Addy later.

From: brooklynbaby /(*u*)/ you’re cute we could make dinner reservations and talk over terms if you’d like!!! i say reservations because they’re fancy and if anything goes wrong, we can pretend we’re… business partners? discussing business?

Without even really realising, John finds himself laughing shortly, settling back into the chair. All of this feels weird, as in typing to a stranger he’s planning to spend his money on and occasionally fuck. John quickly revisits her profile and spends four minutes analysing her profile picture. If this is her, then she’s really very beautiful. A steal.

From: johnwick When are you free for dinner?

From: brooklynbaby hmm well i’m dogsitting tomorrow, but i can be free for the day after!!!! is that okay ^_^

From: johnwick That would be fine. [Address] at 7pm, does that work for you?

brooklynbaby pauses.

From: brooklynbaby omg am i gonna have to dress fancy?

From: johnwick Don’t feel pressured. I only own black.

From: brooklynbaby well….guess i’ll bring out like one of my old uni party dresses :( but you have to promise not to judge me!!!

John laughs again. At some point during the evening, he ends up with a planned dinner reservation at one of the most expensive restaurants in Brooklyn, and he’s also 2 grand poorer thanks to the generous donation in brooklynbaby’s bank account for a nice evening outfit.

When John returns the laptop to Addy the following morning, he was admittedly expecting the rant that followed. She had glared at the laptop being handed back over the bar and refused to serve him until he came up with a reasonably valid excuse as to why he wasn’t putting himself out there for a bit of company. John had blinked with an unimpressed look and drummed his fingers.

“I have dinner reservations with someone tomorrow at 7pm. Also- can I have a drink?”

But of course, with work being as tedious as ever and with his whole day being completely ruined by a blood stained shirt and poor room service for the first time in his many years of frequenting the Continental, John didn’t amuse himself with brooklynbaby until he logged onto the site on his phone, and saw that she had messaged thrice during the day. He almost felt guilty, until he saw a string of numbers at the end of the last message. He deemed it less necessary to read her above messages and instead went right to texting.

brooklynbaby ok. so should i just ask for mr john wick when i get to this restaurant??? sorry for so many texts im just kinda nervous

me Yes. I booked under my name and I will be waiting for you when you arrive. Why are you nervous? Didn’t you ask me to be here?

brooklynbaby well if we’re going to be technical then YOU asked me to dinner first :P and im nervous because i have nooo idea who you are send a picture?

John sank into bed.

me Maybe I like the element of surprise.

brooklynbaby seems a lil unfair that you get to see me but i dont get to see you :( ive seen ur dog before you thats saying something

me You could have used any image. If we’re going to be technical, I don’t even know your name, or if that is really you in the image.

John really hadn’t been expecting a full blown nude image at 4:15pm in the afternoon, but he will admit that it was nevertheless what he needed to break some steam. He had arrived at the restaurant twenty minutes earlier than expected, but that’s okay, Mr Wick. Right this way! Now that he was sitting here, at an empty table overlooking Brooklyn and the lights, with an already ordered bottle of wine, John could understand and relate to the first date nerves. He hadn’t felt this way in a long time. Not since-

brooklynbaby uhhh im kind of here like ten minutes early should i wait outside for you :3

He laughs, mostly to himself.

me I’m already up here. I ordered a rosé, is that alright?

brooklynbaby YES IM RUNNING

And, surprising himself also, John had clammed up and reached for his glass. Thankfully, the owner of this restaurant knew John by face and order, because, after-all, this had been his go-to with Helen. These days, he doesn’t have time to go out to new places and eat new things, and so had panicked, and picked a place with sentimental value, and a history of good food. He gulped back his glass of Bourbon and waited until the door at the other side of the room opened meekly, and he tried to appear vacant as the waiter led a woman across the room and towards him.

“Your date, Mr Wick.”

He left curtly and brooklynbaby followed his body as he left, her feet firmly glued to the floor as her head looked back over her shoulder. John took this as an opportunity to look at her body, covered in a beautiful dress he felt proud of paying for. Finally, brooklynbaby looked towards him and paused, observing him and his clearly surprising appearance. John then remembered the gash on his cheekbone and the way he probably looked very off-putting with an unshaven face and long hair, but brooklynbaby smiled softly and raised her brows, beating him to helping her in her chair as she quickly sat down and looked at his glass.

“How did you know I liked beards?”

John didn’t say anything for a moment. “I didn’t.”

brooklynbaby rolled her eyes with a grin. “Of course you didn’t.” She looked up, then, properly taking in his face. John did the same, looking at every feature present and coming to the quick conclusion that yes, she was definitely the woman in the pictures, and yes, she was one of the most gorgeous humans he had ever seen on planet Earth since Helen herself.

“You’re not what I expected,” she said honestly. “But, more than my expectations. I don’t believe I’ve really introduced myself- I’m Y/N. Y/N L/N.”

He tried it out in his head. Y/N. Y/N L.N, Y/N L/N, Y/N Wick-

“John,” he replied and she sniggered and rested her chin in her palms.

“You’re seriously so handsome,” she complimented. “Are you sure you’re not married, or something?”

Her gaze panned to his hands where she noticed the wedding band, and for a moment, she hesitated. John wasn’t ashamed of the ring, nor embarrassed to be seen wearing it. He toyed with it on his finger, looking at her from across the table. “It’s complicated.”

Y/N nodded meekly. “I see.” She cleared her throat, “divorce? Planned divorce? Affair?”

“No, I’m widowed,” he tried out a joke, but she only looked more uncomfortable. Her mouth gaped and she fumbled for words.

“Oh, John, I’m really sorry- no, really, I’m so sorry,” she stumbled, and John watched her carefully across the table. “God, how fucking insensitive. Sorry, I guess that just. Wow, that never really crossed my mind. That sucks, I’m sorry.”

“It’s in the past,” John said, finding finality in that sentence. “I’m trying to move on from it.”

Y/N nodded sympathetically. “No, yeah, wow, I get it. Completely. I...hope I live up to great expectations, then?”

John smiled and looked past her, noticing the waiter rounding the corner with the bottle of rose. “You’re getting there, Miss L/N.”

[mydearsaddiary]

Speakeasy Tonight Fanfic- Neil Season 3

Hello! For those of you who don’t know Im writing a fanfic on how I’d imagine Neil Season 3 to go! This is chapter 4, here’s a link with all the chapters: https://mydearsaddiary.tumblr.com/NeilSeason3Fanfic

Little curiosity notes: We’re back in Chicago and Neil stayed in Boston ): Time to get back into the prohibition business because Vera Peters is causing trouble around town again! Let’s go!! (There’s drama but fluff here too, promise)

Chapter 4- Trouble on the home front. I declare war.

1926

I was back in Chicago for five days now. To forget everything that happened in the last week I was drowning myself in work. The guys at the Ice Box seemed a little worried, especially because they knew about the engagement. Uncle Charlie seemed sad and disappointed at the same time. I didn’t blame him. It’s weird the things you think. I didn’t think Neil to be the type that broke hearts, but I did know he was afraid of commitments. Maybe this was just him escaping

However, anyone could see that the break-up was getting at me. I didn’t talk about anything but business, nobody had mentioned Neil since I got back and everyone felt a little empty without the Doc in his usual spot drinking his bourbon

-Hey, MC- Cliff called me at the bar while I was working on the inventory that night- What do you want me to do with this?- He pointed to the box of Neil’s secret bourbon stash

-Well, no use wasting good bourbon, right?-I picked it up, but Cliff saw it was a little too heavy for me and picked it up himself. I didn’t like anyone thinking I needed help but I did feel weaker in the arms these days- Just put it in Charlie’s Studebaker, I’ll take it home with me

-Alright, leave it to me- He said taking it outside

-Hey, doll- A familiar voice came behind me- You feeling better?

-Hey, Vince-I smiled at the other who sat at the bar- I’m fine, time heals things don’t it? If I just keep working, I’ll get over it in no time

-I could always take you out for a spin, you know that, right?

I chuckled- It’s too soon, but should I ever change my mind, I’ll let you know

He nodded- Well, if you’re interested in keep on working I might have something

-Yeah?

-Seems like your days dealing with the drys might be over for a while. I got some leads Vera Peters is been causin’ trouble around town

-But the mayor and O’Sullivan are down, she doesn’t have any help

-You think dat would stop ‘er, lassie?- Donovan said something for the first time tonight, hanging on tightly to his whiskey

-She did give me a call right after, spilling something about me “winning the battle, but not the war”

-She is onto something. She had O’Sullivan wrapped around her finger. Now that he’s in jail, that bastard O’Fallon is in power, and I think she’s been hanging around The Broiler

-That’s what I ‘eard too. Vera Peters might be lookin to be de next big name in de gangster racket

-Uncle Charlie mentioned she’s still showing up to the temperance meetings. Trying to keep her image, I guess.

-Seems like those temperance meetings are gonna be a war zone from now on-Vince said- O’Sullivan was the big name. If she somehow works her ways into his operations-

-She’d be causing trouble especially for us since she obviously hates me- I sighed- One more chapter of the Vera Peters saga-I looked around for a certain fella- Elliot!- I called. He got up from his gambling table and left his starlet blondes waiting for him

-May I say you look extraordinary tonight, MC?

-Thanks Elliot, you may say that- I poured a drink for myself- Have you been hanging around Gerald these days?

-I’ve been to the Broiler recently.

-Heard anything interesting?

He looked to his side a little sketchy, as if he was about to tell a lie- Well, only about the changes in management due to O’Sullivan being in jail

-Can it, Elliot. I’m asking about anything that might cause us trouble

-Vera Peters has been hanging out there. She doesn’t drink, but I know her and Gerald have been keeping each other company. I thought it might be something romantic

I laughed- Vera and Gerald? Yea, it makes so much sense- I said ironically- I’m sure Vera isn’t Gerald’s type. She’s interested in something else. She wants something and it’s not good. Think you can go back there and find out more about it?

-Yes, me and Gerald were planning to gamble tomorrow over at the Broiler

-Great. Dig some and tell us what you find out

After that I also told Sofia to keep her eyes and ears open, Vince offered to drive me home but I reminded him I have driven Charlie’s Studebaker. I took driving as a hobby, it always seemed interesting and now that I was trying to get my hands on anything to do to forget about my current situation, I couldn’t find a reason not to do it.

I went home that night like I went home every night since I came back from Boston. I had no energy to do anything, but at the same time I couldn’t rest. It was like my body spent the day telling me to give up and sleep, but it wouldn’t let me sleep once I laid in bed. Insomnia was part of my nights, at least until seven in the morning when I did manage to sleep, and then I’d wake up once or twice, and proceed to get up at ten a.m., when I couldn’t go back to sleep anymore.

So then I’d find something to do. I didn’t feel hungry in the morning, so I’d drive around for a few hours. Then at around noon I’d go check the inventory of the appliance store. Uncle Charlie would be there working, we’d talk for a few hours, then he’d ask if I wanted to play some chess. Unfortunately I cringed at the thought of touching a chess piece and I’d say I’d rather do something else.

Sometimes he’d ask me if I wanted to go back to Columbus, be near everyone else. I’d tell him I knew he was worried, but it was normal to be sad and it was momentary. I knew why he’d ask though. My face when I would wake up was pale, I’d gotten a little bit skinnier, and I didn’t talk as much. Even Uncle Charlie had to start playing the host.

That brings us to when the Ice Box would open. I was still convinced that Neil Dresner wasn’t going to be the cause I stopped doing my job. The only job I wasn’t doing well was talking and pretending I was doing fine. I didn’t dance anymore either. I usually stayed in the back room working on the inventory, helping Cliff make drinks and deal with some problems, like Vera Peters.

That other night, Elliot walked into the Ice Box and he brought company as he always did, but one of his friends that night was Gerald O’Fallon

-What is he doing here?-Vince tightened his fists walking over to the door, but not before Cliff held him by the shoulder

-I’ll find that out-I called the both of them to a table in the corner of the speakeasy. I’m sure the talk we were about to have was going to be important

-So, Gerald, Elliot- I stared at the both of them- What can I help you with?- I said expecting they’d give me some information

-Well, I talked to Gerald some about Vera, like you asked

-I see you’ve kept it very secret too, like I asked- I stared at him

-No… MC, listen to him

I turned my attention to the red-headed rival and he started to talk- I seem to be in need of your help once more- I could see in his face how much he hated that. And this time again it must be bad if he’s here. I didn’t say anything so he could continue- With your scheme against Mrs. Peters, you took O’Sullivan out of power. He was already known as a gangster, but his pursuits grew with his connection to the mayor and he got arrested. It actually helped some. O’Sullivan was ruthless, and it gave me control of the Broiler

-I must imagine that control isn’t there anymore if Vera Peters cuts her rug at The Broiler- I said drinking. I found myself wondering why I was drinking only Neil’s bourbon. I decided it was because it tasted good.

-No, turns out O’Sullivan handed a lot of things over to Vera. A lot of our information, things that can compromise our business. She has complete power over the Broiler-He actually had a sad expression. I don’t think Gerald would be one to give Vera Peters power of his establishment so quickly, so I believed him. Besides, there was sincerity in his eyes.

-What is she exactly doing there?

-She wanted control of our operation. Of course at first I laughed, but with everything O’Sullivan gave her, even our businesses with my boss in New York City could be compromised. She has the power to shut us down completely. So I had to give her control of the Broiler. If she shut us down- He lowered his voice- My boss from New York would hunt me down to bump me off. We bring a lot revenue to him.

-Vera Peters in control of O’Sullivans operation sounds like the last thing we want- I sighed loudly. This woman was never going to give up was she?

Donovan chose this moment to storm into the box coming to me. He seemed to hesitate seeing Gerald, so I pulled him away from the table for a few minutes

-What on earth is going on with you? You storm in here like that and people will think we’re being raided!

-Lassie, it’s…-He handed me a newspaper- It’s fresh of de press, it’ll be out tomorrow

I looked at the front page- Mayor Adler announces marriage to Vera… Peters!

-Former prohibition officer Adler. A couple o’ years back ‘e quit the job and became dirty, which is good for our business. But from what I remember from this boyo he is ruthless. De meanest in many ways. If he was just doing his job it’d fine ‘cause he was gonna leave oehs alone. But Vera Peters seduces the man and decides to marry ‘im… Adler is known for doin’ whatever it took to protect ‘is family. A lad looks at his kids the wrong way, next thing you know the next day he mysteriously disappears.

-Vera gets protection by being in power as the mayor’s wife again, on top of being married to someone who kill for their family. And now Vera is his wife and he’d bump off anyone who dare go against her-I had to sit down and take another drink- Vera Peters is aiming to be the queen of the Chicago’s underworld, just as she tried to before trying to get me under her wing and take control of me. And now she’s ten steps ahead of us.

I handed the newspaper back to him and asked him to wait until the Ice Box was closed. I went back to Gerald and asked him to do the same.

I liked Elliot and he had helped me out, but I didn’t ask him to wait around because I knew he was a talker, the more he knew, the more dangerous it was for us.

So when the Ice Box closed everyone relevant stayed behind. Me, Vince, Cliff, Donovan, Andrew watched the door for us, Sofia and even though it wasn’t Cleo’s or Julius’ job I asked them to stay too. Uncle Charlie was home and I definitely did not want to add more into his plate while he still wasn’t totally recovered yet

Of course, Gerald was an addition-Care to fill us in why this sap is still here?-Vince pointed at O’Fallon- And why I shouldn’t give him a slug on his schnozzle, right now?!

-I’d like to see you try your wop!-Gerald said and Vince started to go up to him ready to fight. Two armed men giving me a headache once more

I put myself in between them- If you two start with the lead poisoning treatment, I’ll let you kill yourselves outside and we’ll do this without you!- I yelled at the both of them while Cliff and Donovan helped me pull them apart- Now, can it! We’re gonna need to work together on this.

-Why would we need to work together with this bog-trotter?!

-Because we have a common enemy. We need all the help we can get, Vince. Vera Peters is on the move again

-I thought she was done with-He said

-So did we- So I told the rest of them what was happening. How Vera had taken over the Broiler and managed to marry the mayor once more.

-Since she’s gone dirty, who’s saying we can’t get rid of her?

-I am Vince. Remember? We can’t kill the mayor’s wife. Besides, Donovan filled me in on how he’s got an obsession to putting family first, now Vera is part of ‘is family.

Donovan this time spoke- We kill ‘is wife and the man is gonna hunt down whoever it was till they’re six feet under.

-Vera Peters is gonna make a move on the Ice Box like she did before. She’s not gonna leave us alone- I started talking again- She tried to get Uncle Charlie killed, and threatened to put him- And Neil, but I wasn’t going to mention him- behind bars.

-Seems like we’re in hot water- Cliff said

-Change that to boiling water- Sofia said- And that’s not all, I’ve been hearing some rumors too…

This time a familiar voice, very familiar, came from the door- Vera Peter’s been hiring new muscle, she also bought a place under a laundromat and a warehouse with her husband’s money. She’s planning to open a new speakeasy.

Everyone was quiet for a second. Until Sofia spoke again

-Yes, that’s what I was going to say… She is… Expanding- I could tell she was looking at me now

My eyes were fixated on the man that stood there, tall, holding his cigarette. His icy blue eyes pierced on me. I wanted to hug and kiss him. And then I don’t know if it was pride that took over me, but my last moments in Boston played over in my head and I felt my blood boil in me, so I turned to everyone again

-It’s late, everyone, so let’s go home and sleep. Everyone needs to be here early tomorrow, at around noon. We’ll talk more about it then. Even you, Gerald.

It was the last thing I said before I grabbed my coat and walked out. I didn’t even give myself a chance to look back when I passed Neil. However when I was almost at the Studebaker I heard Neil calling my name behind me

I got into the car starting it and he just opened the door and got in the car himself

-What are you doing, Neil?! Get out of the car, I’m going home!

-I love you-He said, interrupting me- I’m sorry, MC. I’m sorry about everything just-

-Get out of my car!-I gave him the most serious and furious look I could. He was quiet for a moment, but I think he saw something in my eyes, because he left.

I started driving, and there was I crying again. I thought at least that part of it was gone. It was too much at the moment. Neil appearing out of the blue made me forget Vera Peters was ever a problem. I didn’t realize how much I wanted to hear him say that he loved me, or how much I missed him… How much I couldn’t deny that I was still in love with him. But I couldn’t be a fool. I just couldn’t forget everything that had happened in Boston and let him get away with it.

My nightmares about him and Lillie getting back together were over though, since he was back here. I hated the fact that it made me feel better.

I was so confused. I drove home, took a bath and surprisingly I fell asleep very quickly. I guess my body just understood how much I needed to not think about anything right now.

The next morning I woke up around ten. It still wasn’t the sleep I needed, but it was better than what I had been getting lately, besides waking up numerous times throughout the night.

I went down and Mrs. Fitz had prepared breakfast. Uncle Charlie smiled once he saw me there. I smiled back, sitting in the chair in front of him- Morning, Unc.

-Morning, young lady. You seem to be in a better mood today

-I slept better- I was getting the food set on my plate- Listen, Uncle Charlie… I wanted to talk to you about something

-Is it about Vera Peters? I saw it in the papers- He got serious- Woman is tough nut

-She’s dangerous- I said as I told him all the new information I found out yesterday, I laid it all out in a way that wouldn’t give him a heart attack- Which brings me to my point. I want you to take a trip to Columbus. Visit the family, stay safe.

-Now, listen here young lady, you want me to leave you alone?! With all of this happening?

-I won’t be alone. I have Cliff, Vince, Donovan, everyone at the box! I can trust them. She has tried to have you killed multiple times and she will try again! God, even if I happened to get hurt I’ll have Neil right by my side to…-I didn’t even realize I had said his name until I said it, this time Uncle Charlie gave me a puzzled look

-Neil…?

-He…-I lowered my eyes- Popped up at the Ice Box last night

This time he let out a laugh- I knew that sap wouldn’t disappoint me. He came back for you

-No, Uncle Charlie. Probably his bourbon or because he owes you the world or-

-He came back for you.-He said, this time he had a hand over mine

I had to change the subject or I’d start crying- Unc, please go to Columbus. When you were in the hospital, I handled Louis, I’ve dealt with Vera Peters once and I can handle her again. You, on the other hand, can’t handle any more assassinations attempts- I looked straight into his eyes- Trust me, Uncle Charlie. Let me deal with this. But to be able to do my job right, I need to know you’re safe. Besides, Poppa misses you and my sisters do too. It’d be great for you. You don’t need to worry about me

He sighed looking back- Alright, MC. I’ll go to Columbus. Seeing the girls and Edward again would be nice

I smiled- Thanks, Uncle. You leave everything to me.

That day I called Vince and Cliff, since they were basically Uncle Charlie’s kids I figured they should know he was going, it didn’t take much for them to agree it was a good idea. They came over and spent the next couple hours with us, helping us pack his bags and even taking him to La Salle station.

-I called Momma, said you should be there soon. You’re gonna be okay?-I said hugging him before he got on the train

-Yea, I can manage it just fine. You fellas take care of her- He said

They did agree and I thought about telling him I could take care of myself, but if it made him feel better I just let it be- I’ll give you a call when everything is good

And then he was off. That was a load off my shoulders. Knowing Uncle Charlie was safe made it a lot easier for me and everyone who cared about Charlie to concentrate on the problem at hand.

-Alright, fellas. To the Ice Box.

Cliff drove us there. Once we got there, everybody else from our little gang was there plus Gerald. Neil was there too, but I tried my best to ignore him. However, my mind now kept wondering back to what Uncle Charlie had said about him coming back for me. I know it was true, but there was something in me that was still allowing me to be more mad than forgiving. If I just let it all go so easily, what kind of girl am I?

-MC, what do you think?- Vince said and I was pulled out of my trance

-H-Huh?-I looked around, people were looking at me

-Are you alright, honey?- Cleo said- You’ve been looking tired these days- She said. I didn’t want her to say any more that’d trigger Neil to act all Doctor so I kept talking

-I’m fine. What was the question?

-About Vera- Cliff said this time- What are you thinking about that?

-Oh, right. I was thinking there is pros and cons. Vera Peters is in our territory now, the gangster territory. It means she is putting herself in danger too. Even though she’s protected we can allow ourselves to treat her like a gangster

-Which means…-Vince started

-She’s still the mayor’s wife. That’s her protection. We know the mayor’s her weak link and if she is not his wife, she’s in a weaker spot. However it won’t be as easy as connecting the mayor to a gangster this time

-Mayor Adler jus’ leaves the Chicago underworld alone- Donovan said- There’s nothin’ to link ‘im to any gangsters

I sighed- So we’ll have to find another way to separate the both of them. If we could discredit her somehow for the mayor to want to leave her

-Chica- Sofia said- I’ve heard the one thing mayor Adler hates the most is betrayal. He’s tough alright. Everything we’ve heard about him protecting his family is true. But if Vera betrayed him, that’s the only thing that would make him drop her and she’d lose his protection.

-Betray him? How would Vera betray him?

Neil opened his mouth for the first time- The highest betrayal to a partner is adultery

Cliff looked at him- But that’s crazy. There’s no way to make Vera Peters cheat on the mayor

-Maybe there is- I said- We can’t control what Vera does, but maybe if somebody seduced her, it’d be our best chance to have her fall to their charm and let herself go. Vera Peters left her husband in jail. She doesn’t have loyalty.

-Who in their right mind would seduce Vera Peters?-Vince asked

-It’s not about their right mind. It wouldn’t be real, first of all. They’d just seduce her enough to get her to neck, if somebody took a picture and mailed it to dear Mayor Adler…

-He’d feel extremely betrayed by her- Sofia ended it for me

-Exactly. We need someone with a cause, someone who will be close to her and spend time with her without it being suspicious.

This time everyone looked to Gerald, his eyebrows raised in surprise- Y-you…! You want me to seduce Vera Peters?

-You want to get her off your back right?- I said

-Yea but-

-No buts, Gerry. Here’s the deal. She has control of The Broiler, you work there. It means you’re already spending more time with her than anybody else in here.

-Yes, but we haven’t really exchanged kind words

-Then just soften up. Don’t just start seducing her, just give into her ways, and then the more time you spend together, do that thing where you say sweet stuff and give your looks to whatever Jane you’re trying to take to your bed that night, she’ll fall for it. Everyone knows you’re good a seducing ladies

-You think he’s a good seducer?- Neil arched his eyebrow

Donovan started talking to save me from answering that question- Yes, O’Fallon, everyone knows you got a lurid reputation with the lassies. It’s just one more lass you got ta seduce. Done that plenty o’ times

I talked again- Just until you can get her to neck with ya. Then have somebody take a picture, we take it go get printed, send it to Mayor Adler and he feels so betrayed he ends the marriage. It’d make Vera lose her power among the politicians and it’s one step closer to getting her off your back

-Alright. It’s worth a try- He said not convincingly, but judging how much he hated her, he would do it.

-Say it works- Cliff started- Vera still has control of the Broiler. Information that would compromise everyone

-Once she’s not the Mayor’s wife, she is just a gangster

-Which means…-Vince started again

-No! We don’t have to kill her, Vince- I continued- Her voice won’t be as strong, but the documents she has might still be proof against The Broiler. To get her off her position of power there completely, we need to find whatever documents she has and burn it to ash- I looked at Vince- She had this office where she used to meet with O’Sullivan. When me and… Neil… Went there we only got was the stuff that was important to us at the time, if you can sneak there and grab everything she has that is sensitive information and gives her an edge, she’d lose control of The Broiler

-You got it, boss

I continued overlooking the fact he had called me that- It seems like a good place to start. If we get the mayor to leave her, she’ll turn to Gerald because she’ll think he’s on her side. She’ll think The Broiler is her safe place. Having her trust you-I was looking at Gerald-It’s gonna give us an edge

-And then we burn those documents behind her back and she can’t have a hold of my business anymore

-Exactly

-We also have to account for one more thing-Neil said- Vera Peters might be looking to make alliances with other big names like Ferlinghetti

-I could spread some rumors about her-Sofia said- Make her look bad and dangerous to others

-Alright- I said- Seems like we have an idea of where to start. I’ll see what else I can find out

It was almost time for the Ice Box to open. Gerald left to go back to The Broiler and we opened the place

The whole night I couldn’t afford to be by myself or I knew Neil would see an excuse to come talk to me. He was watching me the whole night. Sometimes I’d see him talking to Cliff or Donovan, but I felt his lingering look on me even when I wasn’t paying attention. So I played host, danced with Vince, talked with Cliff about inventory. Always made sure I was engaged in some other activity so he didn’t have a chance to talk to me

The place was packed with people. The dance contest was off for that night, but it seemed like all of Chicago was there. I found myself in between people on the dance floor, until I felt a hand grab my upper arm and pull me. I turned around and saw Neil, in his not usual spot. I thought I’d be able to avoid him in the middle of dancing but there he was

-MC, I need to talk to you- He said loudly. He had to or I wouldn’t be able to hear due to the music, people and festivities

-I have nothing to say to you, Neil Dresner! I have work to do! You leave me be!- I yanked my arm off him

-Why are you so stubborn?!-He went after me- Just listen to me!

I swear the next thing I said was a curse word that’d make Momma pass out if she heard- I don’t want to talk to you!

-Fine. I didn’t want to have to do that, but if you won’t talk to me I have no other choice- He said with a mad but determined look on his face

I looked at him as he walked past me and onto the stage. He took the microphone from Cleo who looked just as shocked as I did, I could even see Julius astonished. The music and the band stopped. And suddenly the whole Ice Box was looking at him

Neil hates being the center of attention. What the hell is he doing?

-Alright everybody, sorry to interrupt your dancing and the music, but this will only take a minute. Besides…-He motioned to me- This seems to be the only way the Ice Box Flapper here will pay attention to me

Then the crowd parted around me and now they looked at the both of us. I could feel myself going red. I kept thinking what had gotten into his head, but I couldn’t do anything but watch. I could see the amusement on Cleo’s and Julius’ face now. I looked around quickly at the other fellas and they all looked just as amused. Of course they would! They’re not the ones being put on the spot and it’s Neil! It’s Neil standing on the stage about to give a speech. If I wasn’t in that situation I’d find it amusing!

-Everybody who knows me, knows I prefer to be left alone in my corner, in my peace and quiet, and everyone know I hate it when people pay attention to me- And it showed. I swear I could even see him blushing and all stiff and uncomfortable- But, I’m standing here today because MC told me she’d fight for me, and now I’m telling her I’d fight for her. Tooth and nails if I have to-He said repeating what I told him when I proposed. His icy blues looked deep into mine from the stage, so I couldn’t help but look right back at them- I’m an idiot and I’m sorry for hurting you… I have a box- he said pulling a little velvet black box from his pocket, opening it and holding it out to me. I was a little too far away to see much, but I could see the shine of the ring in it- The ring inside it, I picked it out myself. The day we went shopping in Boston. There was no one else in my mind but you when I picked it out.- He seemed even more nervous now, and I could tell because his breathing was rapid- You make my world brighter than I ever thought possible, and I can’t imagine going through every day without having you by my side. I love your stubbornness, all the snappy remarks you make when we’re together. I love how easy it is for people to underestimate you but you prove them wrong every time, you proved me wrong. I love how alive you look when you dance and I love how you always speak your mind. I love how strong you are and how nothing can bring you down. You surprise me every day, you’re so unexpected and everything that is you is what makes me so madly in love with you- At this point I forgot the whole Ice Box was there. It was just me on this dance floor, and Neil on that stage, singing words of love to me- And if you, MC Granger, would do me the honor of marrying me, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be the man that you deserve.

A silence followed for a second while I gathered my thoughts and what I wanted to say. The whole Ice Box looked at me, but I could only focus on the man on the stage. Neil had stolen his way into my heart. Seeing him stand there just made me sure that I was completely in love with him. I wanted to be his

-Well, Doc- I started- This is the first time I’ve seen you off your seat and away from your glass of bourbon- laughter ensued- And that was a heck of a proposal…

Who was I to let pride stand in the way of my happiness, when Neil didn’t let his?

-So I’d have to say… Yes! I’ll marry you!

And then I noticed that I was in the Ice Box once more once the crowd roared and clapped. I blushed for a second but then saw Neil approaching me. He took me in his arms and kissed me passionately. I wasn’t a fool so I kissed him right back with the same intensity. It was love, it was pure love in one kiss. And suddenly it was only the two of us again.

Once we broke off, he held my hand slipping the beautiful jewel on my ring finger. It looked expensive, but I didn’t complain or anything. I laughed instead, happily. I don’t know if it was the emotion of the past few days or if the lights were too bright on my face, but when I looked up to him again, I knew I had tears running down my face.

I could feel his warm hands on my face cleaning it up- I’m sorry…-He said

I shook my head- I love you, Neil

-I love you, MC-He kissed me again and I pulled him off the dance floor

-Cliff, you think you can close tonight?-I asked once I was close enough to the bar

-You two lovebirds go ahead!- He quickly ushered us off- I’ll see you guys tomorrow

I got into the Studebaker with him and the whole time we just laughed with each other. I drove us to Uncle Charlie and since we had the houses to ourselves, soon we were in my room, then in my bed, with no clothes on.

-You can sweet talk after all-I teased him

-It wasn’t sweet talking- He was surprisingly serious- It was the truth. Of course I would’ve preferred if I could’ve said all that in private since now, I’m sure I’m going to have to deal with all the mockery, but you wouldn’t hear me out otherwise, so… I had to improvise. Can’t complain with the results

I laughed- Love makes you do strange things, don’t it?

-I need to spend less time with you- He teased right back, but this time I answered with a kiss

Everything that followed was bliss. The touches, the kisses, the movements. I was over the moon. He wasn’t gentle but he was being gentler than most nights. The desire in those days came crashing down at once, but not in a just sex mood. We had as much time as we wanted, so that night we made love. With all the electricity and wonderfulness that came with the feeling and the man on top of me, moving fast and deep, there was the feeling that we were catching up on how much we missed and loved each other. Even when ‘later’ arrived, pure contentment was still felt in the air

We fell asleep that night with our arms around each other, kissing until we were out of breath. The world outside didn’t exist. I was his and he was mine and that was the only thing that mattered.

Needless to say that was the best sleep I had that week.

1941

-Alton, are you taking these?- Neil asked the now 14-year-old boy about some candy he gave to his father to hold. They were at a drug store, Charlotte had gotten a slight cold but Neil always got so worried when any of them got sick, so he went to get more medicine.

-Yes I am, dad! Just a second!-Alton said bringing some more to Neil- These two too!

-Alright, but that’s it!- He said as he went to the cashier to pay

-Hey Pa!- a young man came running into the drug store to the cashier

-I’m working, John, later!

-Didn’t you see the papers? We were attacked, the U.S., the naval station at Pearl Harbor in Hawaii was attacked by the Japanese empire!

That got the attention of both Neil and Alton, who now looked at the young man

-What were you saying?- Neil this time asked

-It’s all over the news!- the boy John continued- They came flying and at least two-thousand Americans got killed. President Roosevelt declared war against Japan today- He looked back and forth at the three of them- The U.S.A is in a war with Japan

Neil held Alton tightly now. He had had enough of war for a lifetime. He had always assumed it was something only his generation had to go through and something his kids would never come to know. It was probably just wishful thinking

-Seems like the war to end all wars was a joke, eh?-The cashier, John’s dad mentioned- You know- He turned to Neil- I fought in the Great War.

-Dad fought in it too-Alton said before Neil could stop him

-So you know. Besides, isn’t Japan allied with that crumb dictator from Germany and Italy?- He mentioned

-Do you think this is gonna explode into a huge war?-Alton asked, with more curiosity than fear

-I think we ought to be ready

Neil grabbed the bags- Thank you- He said to them, now pulling Alton with him into the car to go home

-Are you alright?- Alton turned to him- Did it scare you?

Neil sighed, but he was close to his kids, so he talked to Alton- Yea, I’m fine, Alt. It’s just… I thought I left wars and all that in the past.

____

Author notes: Some drama heeere and back to the prohibition business!!! Next Chapter we’ll see how things are progressing with the gang’s war against Vera!! Also, we’ll start to get deeper into the wedding planning because MC and Neil are hearing the bells and they’re tying the knot pretty sooooon! Also: Hazel is coming to Chicago, like mentioned in chapter 2!

Thank you so much for reading my fanfic!! Chapter 5 is already in progress!!

Candy, My Dear Diary (5/26/2020)

[burnt-tomato]

[ Our Kingdom ]

==> Part 2 ( "His guard?" )

Perspective: 1st Person- Iwa's perspective

♤: Aye aye Part 2 be out already lol. I also apologize for every part being so damn short lol. Aight so in Part 2 we could see a part of their childhood in Iwa's perspective and revealing both Oikawa's and Iwa's future.

»»--------------------------------------------------►

Oikawa Tooru is a friend of mine whom I met when I was 7 years old. We met when I saw this kid who looked like he was lost, then walking up to me. He just ran up to me then asked my name. I was sure shocked because nobody just asks your name out of the blue, so obviously I didn't answer him, since despite him looking my age, he was still a stranger.

"I'm Oikawa Tooru, from the Aoba Castle."

What? Is he serious? This has to be a joke right? No. He looks serious. He looks worn out, was he running? Is he seriously the kid of King [ name ] Oikawa?

I questioned him about why he was outside. I knew clearly that it wasn't normal that a kid from the kingdom to be outside right now. My father always told me that the royal family wasn't allowed to step foot outside, unless a battle is happening. But then he mentioned 'sneaking out', which gave me other thoughts. It was then clear to me that all he wanted was to be free for once. So I gave in.

We soon got attached to eachother quickly despite only having a small amount of time a day. I've had numerous friends around the neighborhood before, but he was different. He looked trustworthy, guess that's what you expect from a kid from the castle.

My father has always been a knight, although he never told me from which kingdom, but all I knew was it was in Sendai. He was never home often, he mostly comes home on holidays. Actually, I've been thinking lately if when he grows old, will I take his place and serve whoever he's serving? I've never had the chance to ask him though. Whenever he's at home, I decide to put the topic aside since discussing it would probably be a waste of time.

.

.

Years passed. Every time we met, he just seemed to grow and grow, not just his height though. Something inside of him grew that I just couldn't put my finger on. He does look alot mature and stronger nowadays despite his childish personality and actions.

"It's July next month, my birthday's coming up. The coronation is near.."

He's leaving. I tried not getting emotional about it to lessen his burden. His life must be tough there, I thought.

.

.

The day ended end we separated without any words or emotional scenarios. I tried not to think too much about what'll happen after or what I'm gonna do now, I just kept thinking what's gonna happen to him or if I can find anyway to sneak in. My room was completely quiet while I was laying and distracted with things I wanted to forget. Although I did realize that there's nothing I can do to see him again-

"Hajime, let's talk for a while." My dad said while slowly peaking inside by the door.

"Oh? Dad I didn't know you came home already. Did you just arrive? Should I get something for you? Mom's out buying food so I'll take care of anything you need for no-"

"I'm going to retire soon."

What? Why? I only stood frozen trying to process what I heard. Why is he retiring? Does he not like his job anymore? But he's been doing this since he was 16..

"I'm growing old Hajime, but do you remember how I'm serving a king? Well.. that king has a son around your age going to be crowned next month on July. The king gave his throne because of his old age.. and because of my loyalty to him, I need you to serve his son as well. Ah- sorry, but the decision's entirely up to you though.. I understand that you don't want to do it. You have a bright future ahead of you and it's fine that you won't take my place."

"I'll do it."

I mean, it's hard to deny something like this. My father's really loyal to the king he serves. He's really loyal that he even agreed to stay by his side everyday. The only days he's been absent is during Christmas and birthdays, but sometimes he just sends us a package.

He said that he'll bring me to the castle next week. Once I take his place, he'll be staying home with my mother. I was still doubtful at first, but I figured that I should at least do this for him.

"Dad, what kingdom did you even serve? You never even told us."

"Mmmmm.. I served King Oikawa [ name ] from the Aoba Castle here in Sendai, Miyagi Prefecture."

What. Wait what? Are u fucvin serious right now? So basically the king I'm serving will be Shittykawa? This can't get any weirder. This is too much to be a coincidence.

On the other hand, this does mean that we can still hang out, right? Wrong. Oikawa's a king now and I'm going to be a guard serving him. We won't be the same as how we used to be. We used to be friends on the same level, but now it's a master and servant relationship. But at least I still get to see him though.

"We'll leave first thing in the morning on Sunday"

.

.

What should I even wear? It's not like I have the uniform yet. Maybe i should just get something formal..

"Hajime, are you thinking about what to wear? Just get something formal like a suit and tie or something, we need to leave in 10 minutes."

I did what he said and stepped outside. All I wore was dad's old white uniform with a tie and dark gray pants. I didn't even bother to fix my hair but he doesn't seem to notice so I think I'm fine lol.

We arrived at the gate of the kingdom and holy crap it's huge. Dad walked over to one of the guards and talked to them, while I waited infront of the gate. As soon as he finished talking he walked back over to me and the gates opened. 3 guards accompanied us inside, but Oikawa wasn't in there. Tough luck. But who I saw wasn't Oikawa but 2 other males a bit taller than me and looks just about my age. One has a light brown that almost looks like pink-brown honestly short cropped hair with beady eyes and a bored expression, while the other had messy black hair and thicc thick eyebrows. Both men were talking to eachother while wearing a light blue undershirt and camouflage pants.

This is fucvin awkward. Im wearing something that looks like I'm attending school or going to work, while these 2 look like they're going to sleep lol. Speaking of that, why are they here?

"Hajime, these 2 are going to be with you during your time serving here." He points at the light brown- haired guy, "This is Hanamaki Takahiro," then points to the guy with messy hair, "And this is Matsukawa Issei. They're just your age so try to get to know them." Dad's making me socialize again, what the shit.

"I'm Iwaizumi Hajime. Nice to meet you."

"Sup." "Aye."

Eeehhh.. Who knew I'd be with people my age here huh.

The guards lead the 3 of us towards a room where we could pick up our clothes, while dad stayed at the main room. As soon as we were finished, we walked back and saw my dad talking to an old man with a blue robe hanging from his shoulders down to the floor and fancy clothes inside. I also realized that this kingdom's architectural design is very.. glassy.. like crystals and stuff.

"Your majesty.." my father spoke to the old man with a bow.

Shit. This is the king? Okokokokok don't panic just, greet him like how your father did..

And I failed. I got too much pressure and ended up freezing up. Just a sec. Normally royal families wear crowns, but he isn't. He has this metal crystal like halo that goes around his forehead, and is attached to his ears. His boots also have a metal crystal like pattern going up from the bottom of his feet to his knee.

"Ah. So these are the gentlemen you were talking about Sir Iwaizumi. I say they do look responsible and dependable." The king says.

Well yes but actually no.

"Oh and boys, have you gotten your clothings yet?"

"Yes your highness." We all say in unison

"Good good. I'll have some people to wash them now so you can wear them tomorrow."

Matsukawa kicks me softly in the heel. "What about tomorrow?" He whispers. "How should I know??"

"Tomorrow is the coronation for my son Oikawa Tooru. I expect you all to be able to show me how worthy you are to be his guards."

"Yes!"

Makki, Mattsun and I walked over to an open hallway. We all chatted for awhile to earn each others trust.

"I wonder what this Oikawa Tooru guy looks like.."

"Probably like his father though.."

"He's strong and brave. He's an amazing person and will be an outstanding king, though he does have a bad personality.."

They were silent.

Shit. Did I actually blurt that out? Fuck fuck fuck-

"Of course idiot, that's why he's going to be king. Those are common facts already. Although weirdly specific."

So tomorrow's the coronation huh.. I'll get to see him again huh.. why am I not exited at all? A friend who I thought I was gonna lose will appear tomorrow.

Oh right. That's because he's a king and I'm a guard. We won't have the same relationship we used to have. It wouldn't be the same. We won't be able to play, hangout or talk as friends. It'll be master and servant.

.

.

.

"Oh? Iwa-chan?"

A familiar voice jolted you.

Wait...

»»--------------------------------------------------►

Intro

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

[nerdsies]

Goodbye From the Refuge

[joonshadow]

"i'm not straight"

being in the closet isnt that much fun

or

namjoon comes out to the other members after hiding for so long.

/namjoon-centric fluff/

namjoon knew he wasn't straight for quite a while now but never told anyone, neither his family or his members. not because he wasn't sure about it, heck no, he knows for a hundred percent.

but coming out to yourself is really hard and coming out to everyone else in your life is even harder sometimes.

the leader always is open and accepting, never judging anyone. he has some not straight friends and loves them so much, couraging them to be open and happy. but being not straight himself is a bit different.

first, he could never be open about his sexuality to the whole world. its just the sad truth that an idol isn't supposed to be gay, they should be "normal" and appealing to their fans, who are mostly female.

which leads to the second reason; the hate.

as the leader of the group its his job to hold the members together and look after them. if he came out as gay, the media would go crazy and not just attack joon, but probably the whole group with hate and drama.

so no, being out and about isn't really an option for him. but for a while now he thought about telling his little "secret" to his members, his best friends who are like a second family for the boy.

-

turns out that trying to come out is nerve wracking as fuck.

all seven boys are cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie yoongi choose called "love simon" and eating popcorn.

namjoon is squished inbetween jungkook and hoseok, the youngest laying his head down on joons lap while his head is on hoseoks shoulders.

namjoons hands are sweaty, his heart is bumping hard in his chest and his throat is dry as hell. the blonde boy kept thinking over and over how he should say it but everytime he wants to say it out loud, he gets too scared.

its weird because he knows he will receive nothing but love and support from his friends, so he doesnt know why its so scary to actually tell them.

probably because his whole life, it was his little secret just for himself that no one else knew. so telling it someone else who obviously isnt him, is scaring the hell out of him.

and the time passes, the movie almost over and jungkook asleep on his thighs.

the first one to speak up wasnt namjoon, it was taehyung.

"i love this movie, its awesome. the two boys are so cute together!", the blue haired boy said with a sleepy voice and smiled at the other members, everyone agreeing with him instantly.

which makes joon incredibly happy. he doesn't know if its just something he feels or if its common among lgbt people, but everytime someone whos important to him says something accepting or nice about the community, his heart secretly bursts full of happiness in his chest.

"its late, we should sleep.", hoseok mumbled while carefully standing up, trying not to wake the youngest member up.

"youre right, hyung. do we have any schedules tomorrow?", asked jimin, who also was almost asleep next to jungkook.

seokjin told them all that they dont have anything planned for the next week since promotions are over and their tour starts in three weeks. everyone smiled because that means they would all be able to sleep as long as they want tomorrow.

namjoon brought some blankets from his room for jungkook who will sleep on the couch today because everyone is too tired and lazy to wake the youngest up and bring him to bed.

he carefully put them over him and tucked the sleeping boy in, kissing his head before turning off the tv and going out of the living room as quiet as possible.

seokjin and hoseok already dissapeared in their rooms, tired from practising their newest choreo all day long, while jimin and taehyung were in the bathroom and getting ready for bed.

namjoon did the same, telling the younger ones to sleep well and not to stay up too late before going to his room as well.

yoongi was his roommate, the two rappers sharing their room for quiet a while now.

the older boy was already in his bed when namjoon came in and crawled into his bed after changing into his pyjamas.

namjoon thought he was already asleep so he tried his best to be quiet and not make any noise to disturb the other. he almost fell asleep too before he heard some footsteps coming near his bed, his big blanket being held up and yoongi going under them.

it wasnt surprising since the two of them cuddle almost every night. but namjoon still got surprised as yoongi began to talk in a soft, calm voice.

"whats wrong, joon? i know somethings on your mind. you can talk to me, you know?"

is he that obvious? okay maybe he is a little bit tense lately, trying so hard to act normal but at the same time trying to find a good moment to tell his members about his sexuality.

after the movie was over today, he was kinda pissed at himself because he wasted such a good opportunity to tell them.

"i dont know what you mean, hyung. im just like always?"

yoongi sighed but besides that he just stayed silent. he softly caressed joons hair and waited for the younger boy to speak up when he is comfortable with doing so.

namjoons heart started to pound faster and he felt his hands getting sweaty again. maybe this was better than telling it everyone at once.

so he took a deep breath, tried to get his shit together and with a voice that yoongi almost wasnt able to hear, he finally said it out loud.

"im gay."

namjoon couldnt see yoongis reaction, wasnt able to read his face because it was pitch dark in their room and his back was turned towards the older one.

he started to breath faster, anxiety rising up in him because yoongi didnt say anything and for a second namjoon thought that he will hate him now.

but all his fears went away as yoongi wrapped his arms around namjoons waist and pulled him a little bit closer, giving him a soft kiss on his shoulder and smiled against his neck.

"hyung?"

"what?"

"arent you gonna say anything?"

"what should i say, joon? its no big deal,

i still love you. youre still the same person as before, you know?"

namjoon fell asleep a few minutes later with the biggest smile on his face.

-

"so for how long have you known?"

yoongi decided the morning after that just the two of them should sit together and talk a little bit. namjoon was more than okay with that which resulted in them sitting on yoongis bed, both with a cup of tea and surrounded by soft blankets and pillows.

namjoon told him everything, about how he found out and if he ever had a boyfriend, to which he sadly answered with a no.

"i dont know if anyone would every truly love me for who i am, you know what i mean?", namjoon said and looked down at his cup.

yoongi looked at the other boy and smiled softly, hitting his shoulder playfully.

"i bet youll find the perfect boy soon, joonie. dont worry too much about it."

-

this same afternoon namjoon decided that he should tell the other members too. it was unfair to just tell it yoongi and keep this big secret from everyone else.

its kinda hard to plan this kind of stuff since he is the type of person to back out on the last second. but after feeling so relieved from telling yoongi about his sexuality, he figured it wont be that bad to tell the others as well.

he went to seokjins and hoseoks room, knocking on the door twice and letting himself in after hearing a tired "yes?" from the inside.

there they were, sitting on their comfortable beds while probably scrolling through social media and stalking fan accounts. neither of them looked up, too concentrated on their phones and whats going on on the internet.

"hyung?"

both of them looked up after they heard namjoons quiet voice filled with anxiety, instantly putting away their phones and just focusing on him which, to be honest, didnt make this any easier.

"whats wrong, joon?", hoseok asks curious while standing up, taking his hand and pulling him over to seokjins bed.

hoseok sat right next to jin, which meant that namjoon is right in front of the two older boys.

nervously he was fiddling with his hands, taking a deep breath and thinking about what yoongi told him.

its no big deal,

youre still the same person as before

"i have something to say that i feel like you two should know, okay? its nothing big, at least thats what yoongi hyung says, but i just wanted you guys to kno-"

"are you gay or what?", hoseok said while letting out a small giggle, stopping the moment he saw namjoons surprised face.

"wait, youre really gay. holy shit, im sorry namjoon, i didnt mean to-"

"oh shut up hoseok, dont make this even more embarassing for yourself.", seokjin insisted and then just focused on namjoon, who was just hella surprised and a little bit shocked to be honest.

"yeah, im actually gay. thanks for ruining my big surprise", namjoon joked and smiled at hoseok, who still feels kinda bad and tightly holds joons hands in his.

the two older boys gave namjoon a big hug, telling him that theyll love and support him no matter what and reminded namjoon that theyre always here if he needs someone to talk to.

everything they said means a lot to joon and he is so happy to hear it, especially from the oldest member in the group. the two were always really close with each other so to know that seokjin still loves him just the way he is, means a lot.

-

"hyung?"

namjoon looked up from the pot with boiling hot water in it, making pasta for everyone or at least trying to. taehyung came into the kitchen and just silently started to cut the vegetables that joon already put out for cooking.

"whats up, tae?", joon asked while taking out spices from the cabin, tasting the sauce for the noodles before adding some more salt and pepper. hes not the best cook but still able to make simple pasta with tomato sauce without making everyone sick or burning down the kitchen.

taehyung put away the knife for cutting the veggies, puts his hands on joons shoulders and turns him around so that the two boys are facing each other.

"uh, taehyung? what are you doing?"

the younger one just hugged joon tight and buried his face in the taller ones neck, pulling him close. to say that namjoon was a little bit confused was an understatement.

taehyung began to speak quietly with a shy, almost embarassed voice against joons soft skin.

"i heard you, hobi hyung and jin hyung talk in their rooms. i shouldnt have listened, but i was so curious about what you guys were talking about. im so sorry, hyung."

he was a little bit confused but understood after a second whats going on.

"so you know?"

the blue haired boy nodded quickly and promised namjoon that he doesnt mind it at all and that hes still the best leader of the whole world to which namjoon just responded with a soft "thank you", a big smile and an even bigger hug.

-

the day is almost over, no one really did anything besides sleeping and eating all day long. days like these are much needed after stressful promotions and exhausting award shows.

the boys ate joons pasta for dinner, complimenting him on his "amazing" cooking skills and after that they all just dissapear in their rooms or somewhere else in the house.

it was already dark outside as namjoon sat down on their big couch, pulling his phone out and scrolling trough social media.

most of the fans dont know but all of the members love to look at all the different fan accounts and see what they say about their group. its fun.

around five minutes later he got a message from jimin.

jimin: hyung

jimin: do you want to watch a movie

jimin: just jungkook, yoongi and me

namjoon: sure

after hitting send, he made his way to jimins room, already hearing their voices and the tv playing in the background. he just went in there without knocking and got greeted by the sight of jimin making little ponytails with yoongis grey hair and jungkook eating leftover pasta from dinner.

"wow, looks like you guys are having a lot of fun without me", namjoon said laughing and just laid down on the bed next to jungkook.

"its boring just with yoongi hyung, most of the time he falls asleep during the movie and thats-"

"oh shut up, its not my fault that the movies you guys choose are always so boring."

both of them laughed after yoongi jokingly hit jimins arm, which hurt not even a little bit since he isnt really the strongest.

"what movie are we even watching today?"

"probably a bad love movie which jimin found on netflix after feeling lonely and sad again"

the next second jimin just deadass jumped on jungkook and both of them tried to push the other one down on the bed. jimin gave up a bit after since its unfair because jungkook is "way stronger and hes tickling him which is fucking unfair".

namjoon just laughs and sits a little bit closer to yoongi, the older one putting his arm around joons shoulders and pulling him even closer.

"guys, come on now. if you dont want me to fall asleep during the movie, we should start now and not just in a few hours when you two decided to calm down.", yoongi murmured kinda annoyed, he would probably rather be in his bed now.

after a few minutes the movie was playing on the big tv screen and all four of them cuddled up on jungkooks big bed.

namjoon couldnt hold back a small giggle after seeing that jimin chose 'titanic' and hearing yoongi and jungkooks annoyed sigh.

to be honest, it was actually really nice. a few minutes after the movie started, taehyung decided to join them too and just snuggled between jungkook and jimin.

yoongi couldnt hold back and after a while he was softly snoring on namjoons lap with messy hair and parted lips.

the younger one of the two just caresses the older ones hair, loving the way it feels between his fingers.

"did hyung fall asleep again?", jimin asked with not even a little bit of surprise in his voice.

namjoon just nodded without saying anything, he didnt want to wake up yoongi and taehyung, whos also sleeping in jungkooks arms.

maybe now is the right time to tell them too since they are the last ones who dont know about joons little secret yet. jimin is still looking at namjoon with sleepy eyes, smiling a bit.

"jimin, jungkook, i have to tell you guys something", namjoon whispered as quiet as possible, hoping the younger boys would understand him anyways since he would rather not say it twice.

"what is it?", asks jimin, now wide awake and looking at namjoon full of curiosity.

from jungkook he just heard a tired "hm?".

"im gay", he whispers softly.

he honestly expected to be more calm now considering he came out to so many people in such a short time. but hes still nervous, his heart beating fast and waiting for a reaction he already knows will be the same as all the others before.

"not surprising, hyung"

wait, what? namjoon was confused.

"what do you mean, jungkook?"

jimin just giggles and shrugs his shoulders. jungkook told him that it isnt really that big of a surprise since hes not that stupid and knows his hyungs well. namjoon wanted him to be a little bit more clear, so he explained why he always kinda knew that joonie isnt that hetero.

"you never had a girlfriend and neither do you really talk about girls the way, for example jimin, does. and since there were never any signs that youre straight, i just assumed you arent."

namjoon just laughs and sarcastically congrats jungkook on his smart brain and his skill on finding out peoples sexuality. jimin joins in too and after a bit they all just cant stop laughing.

both, taehyung and yoongi woke up from the noise, confused and tired.

"whats going on?", yoongi said so quiet that namjoon and the others almost didnt notice.

"namjoon hyung likes boys!"

after that, the three boys just started to laugh even harder, not even knowing whats so funny about the whole situation.

but theres one thing namjoon knows for sure.

and that is that hes genuinely happy right now, feeling so good after knowing that he doesnt have to hide anymore and that hes so so loved.

--------

you can find my other stories on wattpad @ smolouis

please leave feedback!!

[3wisellamas]

Graffiti Wiener

(Oops, my recent fanfic kick spilled over from AT to OK KO.  tl;dr:   Darrell starts vandalizing the plaza every night and the bodega kids find it entertaining as heck.  It’s very long, set aside some time for it.  Also, disclaimer, don’t do crimes kiddos, yadda yadda yadda.)

--

It was early shift at Gar’s Bodega.  Rad opened the store that day, looked at the relatively stocked state of the shelves from the day prior, and floated to the break room for a post-wake nap.  Enid arrived second, and seeing nobody to keep her accountable she swiped an issue of Alt EDM Monthly from the magazine rack to peruse as she lounged on her counter.  As usual, KO excitedly burst through the door last, waving at his mom as she parked the car to start her own day.  But, this early on this quiet a day, his enthusiasm only took him so far into his cleaning duties.

It was too early to be at work, the three silently agreed.  Then, as if a direct challenge to their morning ennui, their boss Mr Gar angrily smashed through his office door.

“KO!  Enid!”  He turned towards the break room door in the back.  “Radicles!  Front and center!”

The three slowly marched forward, Rad in particular taking a few extra seconds to come into the store proper, yawning.  It was too early to be taking orders, the three silently agreed.

Their lack of enthusiasm only raised Mr Gar’s volume.  “You three shape up and come with me.  I got work for you.”  He stomped towards the back of the store, out the loading dock, with his employees in tow.  The four exited the building there, passed the trucks and the junkyard, and turned into the alley, where the sight that awaited them definitely made the early morning shift less dull.

Taking up almost an entire wall of the plaza alleyway was a large graffiti mural, unusually detailed and elaborate for the spray paint it was created with.  The cans of paint in question had been carelessly discarded all over the alley afterward, simply left behind in what seemed like a hurry.

“Disgusting, isn’t it,”  Gar sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose behind his glasses.  “Someone vandalized the plaza last night, and today I’ve got two jobs for you!”

KO wasn’t listening.  He immediately rushed over towards the wall to get a better look.  “It’s so pretty!!”

“Yeah, this is pretty sick,” Enid agreed.  “They did this in only one night?”

Gar snapped his fingers to regain their attention.  “I have two jobs for the three of you.  First, you’re cleaning up this mess.”  He kicked a stray can out from under his feet, and pointed to a large bucket of white paint, a tray, and two paint rollers he’d set up underneath the mural.  “I want every trace of what happened here last night gone, understand?”

“Yes sir, Mr Gar!”  The three saluted enthusiastically.

“Good.”  He paused.  “KO, I only had two paint rollers and they’re pretty short, so you clean up the trash.”  

“I’m on it!”  KO gave a big smile, bouncing on his heels at the thought of having his own special mission.

“Now, the second thing…”  Mr Gar leaned forward over his employees, to gain a more intimidating presence.  “I want you three to come back here tonight, and keep watch over the plaza.  If the creep who did this comes back, you’re to stop them at all costs.  Understood?”

Enid and Rad looked at each other nervously, before giving their boss a shaky thumbs-up.  

“If this wall isn’t sparkling white when I come in tomorrow morning, I am going to be very.  Very.  Disappointed in you.”  He leaned back into his normal posture, and even a little further to crack his back.  “Welp, time’s a-wastin’, Bodegamen.  Get to work!”

All three shouted “Yes sir!” after him as he departed back towards the loading dock, leaving them to their tasks.  

KO excitedly hopped around gathering spray cans, while Rad and Enid set up the paint tray.  Enid in particular looked up at the mural again, studying the various scenes it depicted:  A giant orange dragon along the top, who seemed to be desperately chomping and grabbing at a bunch of glittering technoes in mid-flight.  In the center, a nondescript man in a cowboy hat riding a yellow horse, shooting what looked like a revolver at the dragon, and missing all six shots.  Off to one side, a cute cartoony mouse glowing a gross nuclear green, and with what looked like toxic waste dripping from its mouth.  On the other side, the artist’s tag, reading “DB” in simple, red block letters.

She sadly contemplated what she would soon have to do to the piece.

“So...who do you think could’ve made this anyway?”  KO asked as he ducked between his friends to grab a paint can.

Rad didn’t even hesitate.  “It’s Darrell.  No question.”

“Are you sure?”  Enid gestured towards the parking lot with her thumb.  “I know he’s a graffiti wiener, but usually all he does is tag our sign every now and then.  I didn’t think he was able to do stuff like...this.”

“You know any other graffiti wieners with the initials ‘DB’?” he asked, pointing towards the tag.  He coated his paint roller in the tray, and raised it to the mural.  “Welp, guess we better get paintin’.”

“Hold up a second, Rad!”  Enid put down her roller and took several steps back, motioning for him to move aside.  She produced her phone from her pocket and took several pictures of the wall, occasionally stepping to the right or the left to get a better angle.  “It’s kind of a waste to just cover it up like this, you know?”

“Dude, Enid, it was painted by a Boxbot.”

“Oh well?  I still think it looks cool.”  She took one final picture, and then swiped back through them.  “I’ve been reading a bunch of articles in Alt EDM Monthly about this DJ that also posts a ton of graffiti tutorials on Social Media, so I guess I’ve been on a real street art kick.  And this…”  She cropped a picture of the mouse portion.  “...is my new lock screen.”

“Heh, okay then,” Rad scoffed.

She put her phone away and grabbed the roller again.  “Alright, now let’s get to work.”  

I didn’t take long before the whole wall was covered in two coats of plain white, letting through no traces of the graffiti underneath.  The alleyway was spotless, with KO even finishing with the paint cans early and then using the time to collect the rest of the place’s usual debris.  It was at least an eventful start to a dull early morning shift, the three silently agreed.

--

The late shift, though, was another story.  Mr Gar had let his employees leave early to make up for coming back so late, and they were refreshed and ready for a Boxbot fight.

They took up a lookout position in a part of the fenced junkyard overlooking the alley, hiding behind a large pile of trash and robot parts.  Enid checked the time, quietly signalling to the other two to keep their eyes open, but three hours later even she was ready to call it a night.  Not even a tiny dinosaur had passed through the alley at all.

KO looked up at his friends and yawned.  “I think we should just go home.  I told Mommy we’d be out past my bedtime, but not this late…”

“You wanna take a nap, go ahead kiddo.  I’m about there too.”  Rad shifted to a slightly more comfortable position, not an easy feat in a pile of scrap metal.

“Guys, don’t stick me with lookout.”  Enid continued scrolling through her Social Media feed to keep awake, not even paying attention to her duties at all.

They heard a metallic thump, and Enid looked up from her phone. “Rad, was that you?”  She shook him awake when she got no response.

“It sounded like it was coming from the parking lot!”  KO whispered.  The three peeked out from behind their pile to see a hooded figure sneaking into view around the front of the plaza.  The intruder kept nervously looking around to make sure the alley was clear, before jogging back to the site of their previous mural.  The bodega employees couldn’t be sure in the dark, but it looked like the figure sighed as they laid a bright green backpack on the pavement and pulled back their hood.

The exposed brain case and large, single eye in the center of their forehead as they whipped their head around to do one last sweep of the area were unmistakable.

“Yep, that’s a Darrell.”  Rad pulled the other two back behind the pile.  “Ready to smash ‘im?”

“...You know what?  Hang on a sec.”  Enid grabbed Rad’s shoulder and held him in place.  “We’ve still got that white paint, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then…”  Enid let him go to peek at Darrell, squinting to see better in the dark.  “I say we just let him go.  I kinda wanna see what he does.”

KO peeked around the other side of the trash pile.  “But Enid,”  he whispered, “What about Mr Gar?  Darrell’s gonna mess up the wall again.”

“We’ll just repaint it once he’s done.”

“Oh…”  

Darrell dug in his backpack for a few moments, before finally pulling out the aerosol can he was looking for.  He popped the top off, just letting it clatter along the pavement, and shook the can vigorously before laying down the first marks of a new piece.

“Orange!”  KO excitedly whispered to the others.  “He’s using orange first!”

“Yeah.  Looks like he’s got a flame theme with this one,” Enid and KO both quietly got comfortable to watch the show.

Rad rolled his eyes.  “I guess I just don’t get it.”  He didn’t exactly stop watching Darrell work, though, from over KO’s shoulder.

The robot finished the base coat on the flames, and set the can down at his feet.  He dug in his bag again and pulled out a can of yellow, and then a can of red, using them to add variation to the flat orange.  With the flame background detailed, he placed the red can with the others and stepped back to take in his work.  Satisfied, he dug for yet another can, and started painting black vertical bars across the entire canvas.

“Aw, what’s he doing?”  KO pouted.  “He’s ruining it!”

Enid clapped her hand over her little friend’s mouth as his whispering got just a little too loud for comfort.  “Let’s just see where he’s going with this.”

As he started focusing on a portion of the canvas, though, Darrell suddenly started to act uneasy.  He whipped his head around again, scanning the alley for anyone watching his efforts.  The bodega trio ducked back behind their garbage pile just quick enough to avoid being spotted.  He stared towards the junkyard for more than a few seconds, before finally turning back towards the wall and continuing with the black paint.

“Phew…”  Enid held KO on her lap as Rad leaned back into the trash.  He didn’t do so as silently as he’d hoped, though, and a small piece of scrap metal above his head loosened and dropped, loudly skittering across the ground as all three looked on in horror.

In the alley, Darrell jumped at the noise, throwing his paint at a nearby trash can.  Like a startled rabbit, he bolted towards the parking lot, not even bothering to check what had made the sound.  As he turned the corner out of sight, the trio heard his rocket boots activate and fade into the distance in the direction of Boxmore.

Enid released a breath she’d been holding for what seemed like the entire night, relieved she could finally do so without watching her volume.  She and KO left their post to examine the fresh mural their archenemy had left behind, while Rad leaned against a clean wall nearby.

Between the black bars, Darrell had been painting a pair of hands gripping two of them when he was interrupted, one of which appeared to be melting and dripping down into the flames below.

“Huh.  He’s a tortured artist.  I like it.”  Enid pulled out her phone again to snap pictures, using the flash to illuminate the area.

Rad, however, started investigating a much more intriguing target.  “Hey, guys, look what he left for us!”  He picked up the paint-filled backpack and draped it over his shoulder.  He had forgotten to actually close it, though, and as he whipped it around about a dozen paint cans labelled in various colors fell out and scattered down the alley, which KO helpfully ran after.

“You guys, quit bein’ so loud!”  Enid couldn't help but laugh at her coworkers’ antics, though.  

“You’re one to talk, E.”  Rad set the bag down between his feet and opened it wide.  “Toss me one, KO!”

He did so, though his aim was a bit off.  Rad quickly grabbed the tossed can in midair using his telekinesis, guiding it home.  “Good shot, buddy!  Keep ‘em coming!”

While the boys repacked the backpack, Enid got to work preparing the rollers and paint tray.  It took just about as long as it had done earlier to apply the two coats and hide all evidence that anyone had vandalized the plaza once again.

“Just one thing left to do I guess.”  Enid motioned toward the backpack draped over Rad’s shoulder.  “Let’s toss that thing back across the street.”

Rad resisted.  “Actually, I got a better idea.  I’ll hang onto it for now.”  He put on the backpack a bit more properly, with both straps around his shoulders.

“What, you repainting your van with that stuff?”

“Naw, you’ll see.”  He smirked.  “Besides, maybe if Darrell doesn’t have this he won’t be able to come back tomorrow night.”

“I don’t think that’ll stop him.”  Enid sighed.  “We might want to keep an eye out for him tomorrow too.  Meet me here at midnight?”

KO and Rad agreed.  The latter checked his phone, and groaned.

“Speakin’ of my van, yeesh.  It is way too late.  I’ll drive us home.”

KO looked up at the moon, barely visible over the alley wall above them.  “Yeah…I definitely missed my bedtime.”

--

Darrell did return the next night, as the trio expected.  This time he carried a light blue backpack, with an ‘S’ and a few of what were either flowers or tiny sawblades embroidered along the top.  He was much more careful to make sure he was unwatched, however, to the point of even walking up to the junkyard fence to check behind the piles of trash.  

Luckily, the bodega employees had taken up a new lookout spot on the roof, just above the wall Darrell had taken to painting.  They peered down at him periodically as he worked, using the sound of his spray can to judge when it was safe to do so.

From that angle, it was difficult to miss the large crack in Darrell’s brain case.

“Hey, we blew him up today, right?”  Enid whispered.  KO nodded; this was definitely a different body than the one they’d chucked into the junkyard piece by piece earlier in the day.  

The robot started spraying again, so Enid leaned over the ledge, checking his progress.  So far, he had finished what looked like a portrait of himself, simplified of course, and with a sad expression on his face.  Darrell stepped back, though with his eye luckily focused forward, and she noticed he was mimicking the expression on his real face.  Then he looked down at his feet, searching for one of the colors he’d used previously, as Enid ducked back to safety.

“He’s getting a little more literal today,” she commentated to a curious KO.  He took the next turn to lean forward, with Rad tightly holding onto his hand just in case.

As KO was pulled back, he quietly reported the next developments.  “He started drawing...something around his head.”  He looked down.  “I couldn’t tell what it was yet.”

Enid scrolled through her phone.  “Rad, you’re up.”

The alien peeked down for a second, then quickly leaned back.  “He’s got teal.  I think he’s drawing my fist,” he whispered, making one to illustrate his statement.

“That’s...weird.  Is he drawing us fighting him?”

“I dunno, KO.”  Rad took another peek.  Looks like he’s got yours and I think Enid’s fists too.  And a bunch of others…

“Let me see.”  Enid set down her phone and took her turn once Darrell was distracted again below.  There were indeed a number of arms ending in fists aimed at the painted Darrell’s head -- she recognized Rad’s immediately, and KO’s with his armband, and one plain human one that had to be hers, but there were also a bright orange one, one with a red glove, a catlike yellow claw, a couple of purple ones, and a green one.  And a large open space at the very top, which she could barely examine before she needed to duck away as Darrell glanced up towards it.

The three stayed far from the edge for a while, just listening as he sprayed that final arm, which seemed to take longer than all the others.  Eventually, the sounds of the robot shaking cans and spraying paint gave way to some sniffling.  Then, the sound that they had been waiting for, as Darrell rustled through his backpack again, and all three leaned over the ledge to see the final result.

In that top spot was a bright yellow chicken claw, not just aiming at the painted Darrell but actually smashing right through his brain case, with bits of the green glass and even little fleshy chunks painted around the wound.  The robot’s eye had also been painted over with a large black X.  They momentarily glanced down at Darrell, who had stopped searching his bag and was wiping away a few tears.

The three ducked back, still silent.  Enid looked at the boys, with an expression of horror.

“Okay, he’s a really tortured artist.”

Rad nodded.  “This got dark.”

They were interrupted by Darrell shaking another can, this time much more vigorously.  Rad held out KO to watch as he began haphazardly painting what eventually turned into a crude depiction of Lord Boxman’s face, finishing with his bright red eye.  Darrell stood there holding the can of red for a moment, sadly looking at the second piece...and then angrily crossed it out.  And then again, and again -- he wildly swung the can around while spraying, as if to assault the image with the paint.  Eventually he threw the can itself at the image, and, still frustrated, even started kicking at the wall with his boot until he had finally vented all of his rage.  

He stepped back again, picked up the can of red, and quickly finished the piece by placing his tag in the corner, in red block letters:  “DB”.  He then unceremoniously kicked aside the cans he’d used, put on the backpack, and ran out of the alley, leaving the area empty for the bodega employees to descend.

Enid once again snapped plenty of pictures of the wall as KO and Rad picked up the scattered spray cans, though this time without a backpack to catch them in.  As the teens worked at covering the graffiti, Rad spoke up.

“Do you think this actually happened to him today?”

“Well…”  Enid compared the damage she had seen from above versus the damage in the painting.  “Maybe a super angsty emo-teen version of what happened to him today.  Guess things aren’t going so great at Boxmore right now.”  She looked down, and stopped.  “Wait, shoot…”

There were bright red footprints going down the alleyway a short distance, from the mural site to the sidewalk in front of the fitness dojo before they finally faded, likely from Darrell’s boots as he ran.  She remembered KO’s report of the robot kicking at the red paint and facepalmed.  

“Oh geez.  So much for cleaning up all the evidence he was here…”  She ran her finger over one of the tracks.  “It’s already dry.”

“Hang on, I think I know how to fix this!”  KO searched through the paint cans he’d collected and found the black one.  He slowly shook it as he’d seen Darrell do, then, holding it with both hands, pressed down on the top to spray a large black blob of paint onto the asphalt, covering the footprint fully.

Enid giggled, and patted him on the back.  “Vandalism is wrong, Brush Head.  But, good idea.”  She found him a lighter gray can for the sidewalk, and let KO cover the rest of Darrell’s tracks while she helped Rad finish on the wall.

--

Darrell’s subject matter wasn’t nearly as dark the next night, or the night after that.  They noticed from the roof that the crack in his head had been repaired, and he smiled and even hummed off-key as he worked, covering the wall in some more abstract, experimental images, like a door being shut in someone’s face with a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign hanging on it, and a princess tiara being chewed on by a swarm of rats, and a few frogs jumping around in a puddle of oil. 

He seemed to be using the latter two to practice his shading, and even worked it into his “DB” tag, trying a gradient effect on the letters the fourth night, then a failed chrome effect the fifth night that he angrily painted over in plain red, and finally another attempt at the chrome on the sixth night that was a clear success. 

Of course, every night after he finished painting the wall, the trio painted over it once again, though not before Enid could take a photo.  She flipped through them at work on the seventh day since Mr Gar had tasked them with keeping the wall vandalism-free, until Red Action stopped her on one.

“Dude, this one’s sick!”  

“I know, right?  He’s actually getting really good.”  

“Man, it’ll really stink when you guys finally make him stop in the alley.”

Enid shook her head, trying to empty out the cobwebs and process what she had just heard.  “When...we make him stop?”

“Dude, you’ve been stayin’ up a whole week watching ‘im, right?  That can’t be good for ya.”  Red pointed out the dark bags under Enid’s eyes, and the fact that she’d dozed off at least twice since Red entered the bodega.

Enid recounted the number of graffiti murals she’d photographed.  There were seven, it had been an entire week.

No wonder she was so tired.

Enid yawned after being reminded of the fact, watching it spread throughout the store as KO and Rad both copied her.  

“We seriously have been up every night for an entire week, huh.”  She pressed at her forehead.  “Yeah, we gotta stop this.”

“I mean, it’s still cool and all, but whatever.”  Red scoffed.  “Probably for the best you just sleep and let ‘im go.  You gotta take care of yourself more.”

“What’s Mr Gar gonna think if we don’t cover it up every night, though?”  Enid shuddered.  

“Well, that’s why you gotta chase him away!”  Red unconsciously formed her hand into an arm cannon.  “Just blast ‘im a couple times, like you do when they bust over here during the day!”

Rad interrupted from aisle 2, “I can blast him tonight no problem!  Right in his robo-butt!”

Enid just shook her head, smiling.  “Rad, please think before you open your mouth for once…”  She finished ringing up Red Action’s order, waving her off as she left.  With the store now empty, Enid’s coworkers gathered around the counter.

“So, we’re really gonna stop Darrell tonight?”  KO yawned again.  

“Yeah, bud.  There’s no way we can keep this up.”

The other two were quiet, leaning against the counter to stay up.  Enid was so tired she didn’t even care they were touching her sacred space.

Suddenly Rad seemed to realize something.  “Hey, Enid, can I...try something tonight, when we see him in the alley?”

“Sure dude, what did you have in mind?”

“Remember when I took his backpack with all that paint, and I said I had a plan I was working on?”  

KO lit up.  “Oh yeah!  You were gonna repaint your van with that stuff!”  He laughed as Rad playfully punched him in the shoulder.

“No, squirt.  I was gonna do somethin’ cool for us, but it might work better to try it on him tonight.  You know, instead of just smashing his face.”  He looked uncharacteristically serious.  “The thing is, though...I gotta go get some stuff ready after we stop him.  So, can you and KO hold him there for a couple of minutes?”

Enid and KO looked at each other, and nodded.  

“Well, it sounds like we’ve got a plan,” Enid announced.  The three put out their fists, bumping them across the counter.  “See you guys tonight.”

--

For their final night of watching Darrell, the trio again hid in the junkyard, trusting that their target had relaxed enough to not look behind the trash piles again.  To their relief, he didn’t, and as he arrived Darrell simply set down his backpack and began rifling through it for the right color as usual.

“So, when he tries to run…”  Enid pointed towards the alley exit, on the parking lot side.  “Rad, you’ll catch him, then pass him off to us.  We’ll keep him here until you’re ready to go.”

Rad gave a thumbs-up, and readied himself alongside KO.  As Darrell finally selected his can and started shaking it, he loudly shouted, “Hey!”

Darrell turned around, his eye widening in shock at the sight of the alien jumping out from behind a trash pile and floating over the fence, the other two shrouded in a pink glow as he brought them along too.  He shrieked and bolted towards the parking lot, just as Enid had predicted, tossing the easily-dodged paint can in Rad’s direction.  Rad’s finger glowed as he quickly grabbed the robot’s legs with his telekinetic powers, then the rest of him, and yanked him back into the alley, where Enid and KO grabbed his arms and held him in place on the ground.

“You good?”

“Yeah, go for it!”  Enid adjusted her grip as Darrell struggled, and Rad sprinted away towards the loading dock.

“Stop it, Darrell!”  KO used a free hand to pat him on the head, to the robot’s confusion.  “We aren’t gonna fight you this time, okay?  Rad’s got a plan!”

“Oh, so what, you’re gonna turn me in or something?”  Darrell made another attempt to get free, but no success.

“No, you jerk.  We wanna talk.”  Enid paused, then experimentally loosened her grip to show she meant it.  “You cool with that, dude?”  

Darrell squinted.  “...Really?  Why?”

“Hang on, lemme show you something.”  She dug her phone out of her pocket.  “We’ve been staking you out here every night this week, to see what you paint.  And, I guess to cover it up too before Mr Gar sees.  But, we think it’s really cool, okay!”  She turned on the lock screen, showing the nuclear rat she still had on it.  “See?  I took pictures of all of them before we cleaned them up.”

Darrell looked up at the phone and, appropriately, made a tiny, scared squeak.  

“You’re...You’re gonna tell my dad I’ve been coming here, aren’t you?”  He stopped struggling, instead sitting up a bit and curling defensively into his cloak.  “That’s your plan, isn’t it?  Get me in trouble again, for sneaking out after curfew every night, with proof?”

“No, dude!”  She released her grip entirely, now that the robot was pacified.  “We’re saying we like your art!  Right KO?”

“Yeah!”   The boy giggled.  “I really liked the cowboy fighting that dragon, and that one with a lot of fire, and the snakes!  They were all really beautiful!”

Darrell paused, unsure how to even react.  “...R...Really?  You...thought they were...cool?”  He blushed, turning away from his archenemies.  “You guys thought...I was cool?”

“Eh, you’re still kind of a nerd.  But yeah, your art really is cool, Darrell.”  Enid unlocked her phone and flipped through the photos again as he watched.  “You’re getting really good.  Where did you even learn to tag like that?”

“Well, there’s this DJ on Social Media who posts a lot of tutorials.  I was just following those…”

“Nice.”  Enid flashed him a thumbs-up, but then landed on the painting of Darrell having his brain case punched in.  The robot shifted uncomfortably at seeing it again, averting his eye.  

“Is...there some bad blood going on between you and your dad right now, Darrell?”

He sunk into his cloak a little more, shrinking into the space between his captors.  “I don’t have blood,” the robot said matter-of-factly.  “But...I guess I was having a bad day.  You really saw that, huh?”

“Yep.  All of it.”  Enid shrugged.  “Sorry.”  She noticed Rad poking his head around the corner, beckoning them towards the back of the plaza.  “Hey, come on.  Rad’s got something for ya.”

“We don't know what it is,” KO added as he led the others, “but we know it’s not Lord Boxman!”

Darrell gave a small smile, and willingly followed the kid around the corner, gasping when he saw…

“My backpack!”  He dropped onto the ground and hugged it.  “I was looking everywhere for this thing!”

“That’s not the surprise, dude.  Look up.”  Rad stood proudly in front of three large shipping pallets, the kind the bodega received every day, all painted with the same white paint they had been using on the wall.  He had them leaned against the loading dock’s door, a ready canvas begging to be painted.

“Wait, these are...for me?”  Darrell stood, taking several seconds to process the situation.

“Look, buddy, graffiti-ing the plaza is...kind of illegal, but you weren’t really hurting anyone with it.  And this way you’re not actually painting anything on the plaza, and if Mr Gar doesn’t like it he can just toss ‘em and I’ll get you some new ones.”  Rad pointed to the pile of used pallets by the door.  “Seriously, we have so many…”

Darrell snapped out of his processing.  “So, I can come here at night...and tag these?  And you guys’ll let me?”  The bodega employees nodded.

He hugged his backpack tighter, not even bothering to hide the excitement on his face.  But then he thought for a moment, and set the bag down, pulling out a few random cans of paint.  

“Hey, um...If you guys want…”  He held one up towards KO.  “You wanna tag with me?  Just, like this once…”

KO happily took the paint.  “We’d love to, Darrell!”  He glanced at Enid and Rad, who just smiled and obliged, taking cans for themselves.  

The four each picked a portion of the canvas and got to work, not stopping until they started butting in on their neighbors’ art, and with the entirety of the three pallets covered they stepped back to admire the finished piece.  They could only laugh together at how much the art clashed, from Radicles’ rough depictions of muscled teal cats, to Darrell’s abstract gears and wires, to Enid’s ninja clan logos and a “DJ Fireball” tag, to KO’s very rough but lovingly-rendered painting of him and his friend Baby Teeth riding a unicorn to a hot dog stand (as he described it to his confused audience).  

Enid pulled out her phone to photograph the mural as this time Darrell scooped up the used cans into his reclaimed backpack, but as she was trying to get a clear shot Rad edged into the frame, standing in front of his section while contorting his face into the silliest possible expression.  KO almost immediately followed suit, ignoring Enid’s attempts to get the two to move.  Then Darrell backed into the frame as well, throwing an amazingly corny finger gun pose in front of his section, and Enid couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Rad?”

“On it.”  He used his power to hold the phone up and tap the selfie button as Enid took her place and ridiculous pose as well, and once everything was in place he snapped the picture.

“That was perfect!”  Darrell cried out, cracking up once again as he saw the final result.  He put on the backpack, then nervously tapped his fingers in front of him as he tried to think of what one was supposed to say to their mortal enemies after genuinely having fun together for over an hour.

“Th-Thanks for...all this.  Really.  I’ll...I’ll see you tomorrow when I attack the plaza, I guess.  Bye!”  He smiled and waved as he ran around to the parking lot again, using his rocket boots to cross the street.

The others stayed for a bit, still admiring the graffiti, but then KO broke out into laughter once again.

“What’s so funny, kid?”  Rad giggled a little along with him.

“You guys...we just hung out and painted a picture and took a funny selfie with a Boxbot.  Friend-style!”

The other two sat up in shock.  

“We...we really did, huh Brush Head?”  Enid joined in, laughing alongside KO and Rad.

“Oh man, I kinda wish we could tell Lord Boxman without Darrell getting in trouble.  I just wanna see the look on his face!”

“Don’t worry Rad, I bet he’d just be like…”  Enid made a face somewhere between ‘seething rage’ and ‘just ate the sourest candy in the world’, to the others’ amusement.  

The two picked themselves up and piled into Rad’s van, ready to finally call it a night for good.

--

“KO, Rad, and Enid!!”  The three immediately snapped to attention in front of Mr Gar, but then looked on in pure terror as their enraged boss held up a blue embroidered backpack full of spray paint.

“Anyone care to tell me what this was doing in the alleyway this morning?”

“Oh.”

“Uh…”  Enid and Rad searched for a way to explain the night’s activities, but then KO spoke up.

“The graffiti wiener came back last night, sir.  But we scared him before he could paint in the alley!”  Technically, it wasn’t a lie.

Gar harrumphed before handing the bag to the child.  “Well, good job I guess.  Now go do something with this where I can’t see it.”  He stomped back into his office, grumbling something about having to throw away a bunch of shipping pallets as well.

The employees breathed a sigh of relief, returning to their daily bodega tasks.  As KO began to carry the heavy backpack into the break room, though, the Boxmore alarm blared.

“Cob, now?  Really?”  Enid pinched her septum and hopped over the counter.  She led the charge to meet the two large boxes crashing into the parking lot, which seemed to be...yelling at each other?

Darrell and Shannon both broke out, focusing more on each other than the plaza.

“Look, I know you took it, so just tell me where it is!”

“I told you like three times Mushroom-Head, I don’t know where you left it!”

“You’re seriously still saying I lost my-!”  She looked at KO, still holding the backpack, and pounced, ripping it out of the child’s hands.  “My backpack!  What the heck are you losers doing with it?!”

KO glanced over her shoulder at Darrell, now very anxious that he’d been caught in his lies, and winked.  Darrell tried to wink back in return, but it ended up as more of a regular blink.

“We stole it!  And filled it with trash!”  KO claimed, as Shannon opened it to reveal the spray cans.  She tossed the bag aside in her confusion, and whipped out a sawblade right into his face.

“How dare you, you little…”

Rad yawned as he lifted her away with his telekinesis, throwing her right into the path of one of Enid’s fireballs, which in turn redirected the robot less-than-gracefully into the pavement.  With a final power punch from KO, Shannon was down for the count.

The three turned then to Darrell, who drew out his arm cannon but otherwise paused before his attack.  

“Hey, guys, um...I’ve gotta fight you right now, but...is it cool if we hang out again tonight?”  He shrugged.  “It was really fun.”

“Honestly that sounds awesome, bro, but…”  Rad motioned for Enid to continue as he dropkicked Shannon’s backpack over to Boxmore, for her to pick up once she rebooted.

Enid rubbed her eyes, still with dark circles under them.  “We have a lot of sleep to catch up on, dude.  Maybe next week?”  

Darrell gave her a thumbs-up in response, then powered up his cannon and charged into battle.

[nothing1995]

the main issue is ! that there are many issues! like....

1. its autumn/going into winter and i have since the tender age of liek 15 always always always got worse during winter like.. no matter what i do no matter the SAD lamps the WINTER SUN holidays.... i always jsut slow down i sleep n eat more i just feel lower sadder slower and like... if i was settled into a job im comf in and earning ite money this winter might be manageable cause im truly changed from last year and even year before that.... i can do sobriety now mostly.... however!!!! autumn/winter have come at the worst time because!!

2. I start my new job in 2 weeks which is gonna involve.... being on top form every day for at least a month.... meeting new ppl... remmebering things... being able to do things... ive never had a proper job liek this and esp one thats in the career i want to do so like.... im terrified! oh and only now it hit me... kinda excited i guess cause like... it might also be fun?? bc its what i wanna do ... interesting... but mainly. terrifying and i hate it and i wish i got it like start of summer when i was a fuckin... maniac with 1000% energy ... im v scared imma fuck it up or idk? jsut hate it? or not fit in or like whateve,r ... and i had non eof these fears in the summer cause guess what bitch i thought i was the SHIT and now am like ://// and this might be due to!

3. this stupid fucking break up with this emotionally stunted.... angry moody tterrible caricature of masculinity that i wasted like... 1.25 months on and left me feeling just kinda err shit about myself self conchesly even tho consciously i realise like.... im still good and itnersting and attractive but he er. made me feel not that ... but tbh i had the self esteem to acc leave him and thats kinda saying something... but also he fucked my fucking MONEY UP!! because!!

4. i had jsut started sugaring when i met him and was tbh happy with my arrangement and was having good emotionally unattached sex and not worrying about food or money or emotions and then i fuckijng had to cut my SD off bc this bitchass wanted to be excluuuuusive even tho tbh i never did and now i gotta like. go crawling back to my sd like i tbh told him i would but ive gained weight bc of SAD so i need to lose some weight before going back and like... tbh im rly not in emotionally stable state to go back rn feel like im on verge of breakdown all the time and wanna drink badly and also really badly not wanna drink and its all v hard because !!! its all !!! just small reasons when compared to the main reason everything is so hard!!!!!! 

literally how do u cope when ur bro is in the icu and you thought mb he’s getting better cause he was doing better on friday and stable on saturday but u phone the hosp this morning and he’s got a lung infection and the icu doc speciically said he sees a full recoery unless something out of the blue happens and then boom this happens!!! i was on the bus to work already p miserable and then that phone call and it was like... i kept welling up to cry and then just couldnt like id just choke i been crying for a couple days but i havent cried today and i can feel it already fucking me up but i honestly cant....... cry any more !!! i’m upping my sert dose a lil bit for the seasonal blues but also bc otherwise i might lose my damn mind lmfao 

one thing tho is. im keep being like wow err im really not emotionally mentally equipped to handle this like.. i was just about coping with it being winter and starting anew job and a break up from a kinda ... not to use the word but toxic relationship.... like iw as kinda ok...... unsteady and awkwar dbut ok. and then this stupid hospitalisation came and just!!! rocked my damn world!!! like it truly is .... how poor ppl can just about get by as long as nothing crazy happens... mental ppl and addicts who are doing better in general can jsut about get by with day to day hard things without like. something major happening.. cause noahfence this series of events would knock even a normal person down so like..... me... a humble addict borderline........ feels like i have v low chances.... and i think internalising that self-defeating language isn’t helping things and imma try be more upbeat tomorrow..... this is just... the sunday night talking hopefully... tho tbh i been sad for like.. 2 weeks now ... and dissociation level/super sad/mental since thursday so ! lets hope for some HOPE!

[deeton]

vent

i swear i never do this. like not just on tumblr like in real life also literally last week i gently touched on the subject of my personal life matters to my proffesor and starting crying. i NEVER cry. why am i like this. anyways im gonna add one of these boys in cuz ig this is gonna be a long mf  post 

anyways i have no long term goals and i just dont,, fucking care,,, about school. but i love school so much. besides the schoolwork, obviously. but i love it here. i go to school in miami and im from michigan so like it’s actually fucking great. im finishing my sophmore year and writing this post instead of my essay that was due at 11:59 as it’s almost 5:30 am (oops forgot to hit send!) and i have another essay due i got an extention on thats in spanish and then i have my final spanish essay due tomorrow at 9 pm so im just not gonna sleep ig. i voluntarily do the wrong thing. like why . what the fuck. am i in control of my own control? im just so out of balance. and i just donntttt give a shit about anythingggg that i actually need to give a shit about. i wasnt always like this. i mean i use short term goals to get me by. make it to the next festival. make it to the next flight home to be w my parents whom i love dearly. but i dont feel a purpose for anything. i feel like i just want to make people happy and thats it. i just wanna make eveeryone happy. and theyre not. like my brother caused all this drama w my lesbian friends cuz theyre a couple and he deadass asked one of them to fuck behind the others back so now the other girl is salty and wont sell him wax and hes alwaaaaaaaaaays using wax all day every day and he doesnt get out much and his friends are shitty and hes so lonely and it’s so sad cuz hes actually really enjoyable to be around and idk whats goin on in his head. he doesnt believe in 12 steps. he may or may not have taken xans recently after all that work fighting a nasty battle with h for like a year at least. he told me he was thinkin of selling bars i said no dude. like you can just sell wax and not fuck up ppls lives and ik hell take it if he has it cuz thats what i would do. i just want him to have friends

anyways this is the end of my sophmore year of undergrad and it’s the first year where i actually made real live actual friends in mia who actually wanna hang out w me. im michigan i always had friends but each and every one of them is their special kind of wack and makes me sad sometimes but thats life ig???? or could it be better........................... oh except my family friends we’re all on some ride or die shit i love them. but i have friends kinda and it’s awesome but when im alone left w my own thought actively not writing essays i feel like such a piece of shit and im so full of hate. i constantly make hypothetical arguments with people im beefin with and i just make things seem os much worse in my head. i think i hold so much hate for so many people because im supplying it. i hate myself, and im spreading it onto actual stupid ppl who are stupid (thats not hate thats just fax) i dont wanna be gay. i hate myself for being gay. fuck counseling btw im not about that shit thats why im here lol. IDK my parents and family and friends love me for me but i just feel so guilty about it. i feel bad like all the time maybe thats why i look for an escape so much and look forward so heavily to music festivals. im literally awesome tho like im naturally the shit and am really cool and want to make ppl happy but i think i turn a blind eye to this negative side of myself. to be so full of hate it must be out in the open for people to see. i dont know what to do with it, where to put it, or how to destroy it. i just want to destroy myself instead, so instead of turning to drugs and alc, i turn to social media and not giving a shit about my future so that i can destroy my future self since i cant destroy the me who i am rn, otherwise id end up sent to rehab and super addicted to something. i wonder why i have 0 love life and i say im looking 4 love but where it @ tho. ppl just try and use me. and some people who are close to me turn out being weirdly jealous and start being mean and it fucking sucks. i need to meditate on it lol. this sucks, i cant wait to go home but i have to do the work first and i just dont. fucking. want to. 0 motivation. i can barely get out of bed in the morning and when i do thats just where i end up. i just keep telling myself nothing is real but it all is. i use to firmly be a solipsist and say nothing is real but human beings proved me wrong in good and bad ways. i could eat more than  i do i just havent been this last couple weeks bc deadlines mostly. fuck school but i love my school. it took me soooooo fucking long to find my people tho like wasted a year of my life so fuck that.

[survivorgalaxysedge]

Episode 5 | Forgive Me Cowtown For I Have Sinned - Ari

ohhhhh i found something JUICY tonight!!! so yesterday the hosts got tired of me constantly asking how many fuel i have and gave me the command to view it, and i knew i was outta points so i was like ok cool we'll check it out tomorrow. TURNS OUT the scorekeeper bot shows you not just your personal points.... but the points of everyone in the game.... and WHOM is number two on that list with 36 entire points? that's right. my best friend keegan. my first thought was wtf ew how did he already recover from my sabotage, i feel zero percent guilty about doing that now! and then my second thought was WAIT...... this is PERFECT. so you can bet i ran right to all three of my allies to be like "hey omg i found something shady :0 didn't keegan say all his fuel got blown up the other day? well i pulled some receipts and it turns out he still has all of it! why would he lie about that??? so sus!" and now i'm laughing because there could not be a more perfect excuse to get him gone!!! i'm not gonna push it any more than that right now - for all i know, we'll prob win the next challenge again - but i've tucked the ammo away in my pocket, planted the ari seed in jonathan and zoe's heads, and i'll let it sit pretty there until i need it. also, i ended up telling ali what i did to keegan simply because he is 100% not going against me and i needed someone to tell me i'm funny, so i also let him know about this plan o mine and that we could use this against sir keegan, which he's so down for. god. i cannot wait to tell mj about all this shit.

Jacob being voted out of NuTrian is the second best thing that could have happened. Preferably Nathan but my OG Andro and Jessie are safe so that’s very good. Now we’ve got a Guess Who challenge which is okay. I don’t care if we get first or second, I just really really don’t want to get last. Let’s keep the good vibes going and be safe for a fifth straight tribal council. Ali told me he scored 11 points, I scored 10. I hope Zoe can whip out her survivor magic with a score of 8 or 9. And then hopefully Jonathan can pull out a good score as well. Nathan and Zach have both scored 12 on this challenge before, so I can only hope they keep up with that and score high again. Gotta make sure those other tribes flop. I’m still incredibly uncertain about how to play this steal a player advantage. It’s possible we ride this 3 tribe split all the way to merge. My guess is merge at 11 or 10. That would be quite a few tribals to go without another swap but it’s certainly possible. Though I could absolutely see a swap now at 12. Two tribes of six, and then merge at 10. A final 3 with 7 jurors perhaps? Either way, I think I’ll hold on to this advantage until it seems likely that I’ll need it. No sense in causing some chaos if it isn’t necessary.

ok so i'm doing well in challenges rn, as best as i can at least, and i feel like that's the only thing keeping me alive bc.... nobody talks to me. i feel like i'm starting every one on one conversation and desperately trying to keep it alive and not be left on read. idk if they're like this with each other or if its just me but !!!!!! it doesnt make me feel good abt potentially losing a challenge. so i will just keep carrying my weight and keeping my cute little head down and pray im just being paranoid<3

WELL We lost the immunity challenge which is the first loss after four straight immunity wins. That was a nice little break while it lasted. The obvious choice right off the bat is to vote for Ali. Keeps the OG Andro tribe fully intact, and avoids the most possible drama. However, I worry he might have found the Circi idol from his original tribe. Plus whatever advantage he may have gotten from the first challenge of the season. So the alternate thought is to maybe vote for Jonathan or Zoe. I adore Ari would not want to vote them out. It's tempting to throw a vote on one of them in the event of Ali playing an idol, just to keep myself safe. But if Ali doesn't have an idol, that could cause a whole world of issues. On the flip side, I wouldn't be entirely surprised if some or any of my tribe mates decided to throw my name under the bus. I haven't been the most social person and while I have definitely pulled my weight in the challenges, I could see them having their own little group that's willing to throw my under the bus and make things as painless as possible for the rest of them, especially considering they've all said they like Ali a lot. Ahhh this is all so much worse considering I have the hidden immunity idol. I don't want to waste it, but I also don't want to pull a Kellee Kim and go home with it in my pocket. 

it's kind of ridiculous how well this is all going???? why havent they voted me out yet i am running this shit -talked to ali, told him he's gonna be fine we just need to get people to vote for keegan -talked to jonathan, convinced him keegan is the most logical vote "because he's shady" and because it also means we can vote ali easily next time (versus going down to andro 4 and having it get much more messy) -jonathan was like "should we tell ali right before the vote?" and i was like i think you should call him and see where his head is at and we can go from there, jonathan said ok good point, if he says he wants to vote keegan and he also tells you that without any prompting from either of us we know he's real about it -yeeted myself into ali's dms the very second jonathan hung up like OK LISTEN HERE IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY WHEN HE CALLS YOU, HE CANT KNOW I TOLD YOU ANY OF THIS -ali called me half an hour later like "omg we had such a good talk i love jonathan now deadass, i told him exactly what you said to say and he's so down" -presumably in the morning jonathan will call me and say "wow had a great talk with ali he seems cool and great and he said he'd vote keegan, what did he tell you?" and i can say "yeah same he mentioned keegan so i think we're good!" and jonathan will feel like we Did This Together and ali will feel like i Did This For Him and everyone will be in love with me -all i have to do tomorrow is make sure zoe is on board & that she doesn't feel pushed, and prob call keegan and make him some vague promises about working together long term, and then cross my fingers that i don't get blindsided during my editorial meeting at 9pm est i am having so much fun

i just keep thinking about how funny it’s gonna be when we get to merge and mj tells me to vote out all these people i’ve been making f2s with and i’ll be like “okay!!!!<3”

Not to go back to INV this round, but not much has been going on. I've been keeping up socializing but since we're not going to tribal it's been more quiet than it has been last round. I'm really glad we won though bc I feel vulnerable if we go to tribal again. Cindi seems close to Nathan, and Nathan and Jessie seem closer to each other than they will be to me so I'm worried I'd be an easy vote. So I'm really hoping for a swap or merge tonight, or at least a challenge we can excel in. Don't want it to come down to one point again.

^_^ Okay, so no important updates with this tribe! It's freaking QUIET. I haven't talked to Zach or Silver at ALL since being with this tribe. I've talked to Jules a lot and Asya some, though. I'd like to work with the two of them if possible and if we ever go to tribal here, which I don't want to do because uhhh it's worrisome! Anyway, the only actual update I have is that I found the legacy advantage!!! Randomly at like 2AM I found it. I don't remember what I was doing exactly... I think I just went to watch the Circi round 3 tribal and then the Trian round 4 tribal... and then I think I went to watch the Tribe Swap video to see if there was some sort of announcement made regarded the Oxygen Tank amounts because I was confused why that number was changed more than double. I guess I was also thinking that since the hosts didn't make an announcement that the adventure was resetting at the swap then MAYBE there would be a new twist/advantage inserted elsewhere for this next phase of the game? Now, being the crackhead that I am, of course back on original tribes, I SEARCHED everywhere on the blog that I could think of. Extenders URLs, the source code, hidden hyperlinks - everything. Nothing was there. But in this case, my brain said, hmm, let's just scroll down and see if there's anything in the description of the Tribe Swap Youtube video...and... there was!! I didn't really know what it was at first but when I opened it everything CLICKED! Finally the Reem Cameo from launch night serving a bigger purpose made total sense. After seeing this link in the description though and realizing it was calling back to something we were told about night one, I went back and checked to see if this had been hidden all along, and of course it's literally in the description of the Cast Reveal video!!! and every other video after that!!! Keeping in mind that I found this 11 days into the game, I was like, oh there's definitely some nerd that found this instantly on night 1 so I'm probably just gonna get a message saying nothing here or something like that. Obviously that wasn't the case though. I think nobody found this because I lot of people operate via mobile in these, and Youtube descriptions require an addition click to reveal what's there. Alternatively, for desktop users, who the hell is scrolling down for any reason while you're watching videos from your ORG?? It's nothing something anyone does naturally. So that explains that. Anyway, I'm happy I found it even though it has absolutely no use until Day 39. I will say though that having this and knowing that, it has really motivated me to get to the end of this game. Coincidentally, HOURS before I found this, I had a conversation with Jules about how quiet this tribe has been and that I'd like to start working towards bettering our positions moving forward seeing as there are people here with more/stronger connections than either of us. I just love that I found an advantage that motivates me to start playing this game, exactly how I'd voiced to Jules about feeling a desire to start doing SOMETHING. We love a live narrative!!!! Anyway, I'm not gonna tell Jules about the legacy advantage because it's an advantage that incentivizes people to vote out the owner and have it passed on. I trust Jules, we go YEARS back and have to successful runs as allies under our belts, but this is just something I'd like to keep to myself. Earlier today I also decided that I'm probably never gonna tell Ari about it either if our paths ever (hopefully) cross in this game. I wanna surprise my bestie! At any rate, Jules did tell me that Zach and Asya seem like the type of players that only play on tribal days (at least in this case of this game) which is fine, but I've played a few super intense, intimate, and high-stakes ORGs in the past couple of years which has made me prioritize personal relationships with people over barebones game relationships. This makes dealing with people who aren't that interested in getting to know me or revealing themselves to me a SUPER off-putting experience and a drastic change of pace from what I've become accustomed to. But I'm totally capable of adapting to this environment... I just don't necessarily prefer it. I feel like I have room to connect with Asya on a personal level if given the chance. Zach and Silver I don't know. Although, I do think that if we ever lose immunity here I could for sure spit some game to Silver that would make him believe I want to work with him. I already have an idea of how that conversation goes, and the potential negative consequence of it is practically non-existent on this swap tribe, whereas it could have backfired on me if original Trian lost that third challenge. Anyway, I'll get into that whenever we lose or if I get bored and initiate that chat just to feel something lol

No tribal ever again until merge or swap please. Jessie would be the one I'd want out and I assume Jay would as well but she has Nathan's shard so, like, he'd lose that and then I lose my hope of getting both their shards and misplaying my first idol because I'm not good at survivor

Yayyyy we won immunity. Idk what much else to say except that I got 40 fuel tanks

today i am mad and sad. lost the challenge, was my fault bc purple not pink. no i will not elaborate. now ari jonathan and i have decided to save ali and vote out keegan. i hope it goes well. i am filled with anxiety. i don’t even want keegan to go, we just have to make the decision based on the fact that we don’t want to be seen as a tight alliance going into merge, and keegan can make it look like there was a crack therefore not making us look strong. but he is just sacrificial unfortunately. but we’ll see how it goes. i’m still anxious

Wow we won what a concept See what happens when we don’t throw comps ? Anyways yeah that’s it I guess lol

Honestly I I'm done with these hoes I'm ready to vote off Keegan 

This is definitely a very stressful and emotional tribal. I hate that we’re voting for Ali because he is a genuinely fantastic person and under different circumstances I think we could have worked really well together in this game. But when there’s a 4-1 tribe swap and the four of us have absolutely no beef with each other, there’s not a whole lot that can be done. None of my other 3 OG Andro players come across as big move players either. So unless I’m being straight up lied to and am about to get completely blindsided, it’s looking like a unanimous Ali boot. Which is incredibly sad. I really wanted us to win out until merge so we wouldn’t have to vote him out. But such is the game. Keegan signing off (hopefully not for the last time)