#also i think this is a sign that im secretly a cryptid

[poindexterchild]

ok i get it, nursey finds constellations in dex’s freckles and it’s super deep or whatever. well one time i found the bermuda triangle in my freckles. how’s that for deep.

[starlocked01]

These Words are Knives

AO3

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary: Virgil doesn't like being a secret boyfriend. He honestly just wants his soulmate to be able to be himself at home and at work. But has Janus ever been himself with anyone? Remus probably. But Virgil and Remus don't know about each other and that's about to become everyone's problem 

Content Warning: Unsympathetic Janus, Swearing, Fighting, Capslock, Emotional Abuse and Manipulation

Day 28 Anxceitmus- A sentence appears on your arm each night recapping something your soulmate said that day. Modified so that it only shows up after you've met them in person.

"If you love me, let me go If you love me, let me go These words are knives that often leave scars The fear, the fear of falling apart Truth be told I never was yours The fear, the fear of falling apart" -This is Gospel Panic! at the Disco

"Oh yes, my girlfriend and I enjoy true crime shows pretty often."

Virgil sighed, staring at the golden letters glowing on his skin. It stung a lot to see his soulmate lie like this every night.

He turned over in bed to face Janus, "I hate your boss."

"Mmhmm, me too," Janus replied flatly, not taking his eyes off the newspaper.

"I shouldn't have to see this. You shouldn't have to keep me hidden from your coworkers," Virgil felt anger knotting at the bottom of his stomach. It truly wasn't fair.

"If he finds out I'm gay, he will fire me. I'm not having this discussion right now," Janus declared with a tone of finality.

"I'm not asking you to out yourself, I'm just upset about the situation," Virgil twisted onto his back and stared at the ceiling, "what does yours say?"

Janus gave an exasperated sigh and made a show of rolling up his sleeve before reading the shiny purple text, "'Oh my god, that would definitely have killed me!' Honestly, Virgil, it was a mouse. Bit of an overreaction."

"Whatever, good night."

"Virgil?"

"What?"

"I love you."

"Love you too."

Well, it wasn't a lie, Virgil is far too trusting of him for him to not mean it when he says he loves him.

Janus could remember back when they'd first met, Virgil wouldn't even give him his phone number. It had been a tedious process getting the anxious man to open up, and it was more than worth it to Janus. The problems only started when he'd met her.

Remus had been completely unexpected; Janus had literally run into her on his way to work. He panicked that first night the neon green script appeared on his arm opposite the purple text. Remus was also his soulmate and unlike Virgil, she was eager to know Janus.

Janus had made his decision to keep his second soulmate a secret the moment he saw the text, and now he sat like a spider atop his web of lies.

Janus glanced over at Virgil as he lay there, clearly not asleep yet, and started humming a lullaby that usually helped Virgil relax. The tension in his shoulders started to ease and soon he was snoring. Janus folded up the newspaper and took the disposable phone out of his nightstand.

R<3: heyyyy sexy i wanna c u tomrw ;]

He smiled and responded, keeping an eye on Virgil to make sure he was still asleep.

J: I agree, at our usual place?

R<3: !!!!!!

He quickly shut off the phone and hid it again before turning off the bedside lamp and rolling over to fall asleep. ---- Truth be told, it was simply easier to talk about Remus at work because they went by multiple pronouns. It also helped that they didn't immediately get suspicious anytime Janus brought them up. Virgil’s concern could be overbearing and it was just easier to stay under the radar of homophobic coworkers who would no longer respect him if they found out.

He didn't feel good about lying; it was survival. But he was good at it.

"Jan!" Remus waved him over as soon as he arrived at the restaurant. He smiled and joined them at their table, "it's been too long, why are you avoiding me?" Remus asked with a grin.

"I'm not, I just don't want to interrupt your work," Janus smirked, taking a sip of his water.

"What? You don't think I could handle you trying to distract me?" Remus laughed happily, leaning over to kiss their soulmate’s cheek.

They laughed and joked all through dinner, gossiping about coworkers, generally having a good time. The time got away from Janus and it was midnight before he realized how late it had gotten.

"Oh! I want to see what your soul mark says today!" Remus beamed, excitedly rolling up their own sleeve.

"You do tend to have quite… entertaining quotes," Janus' smile hid his irritation but he obliged, rolling up his sleeve as well, "'Why don't we eat the babies and call it Swifting?' Really, Remus? Do I want context?"

"You remember 'A Modest Proposal' by Jonathan Swift, right?" he giggled, reading his own quote of the day, "'Honestly, Virgil, it was a mouse.' Huh…" Remus looked confused, "who's Virgil? You don't talk about him but I see his name come up pretty often."

"A coworker. He's not very pleasant to talk with but we often have projects together," the lie was smooth as silk. He knew this one would happen someday and had prepared.

Remus glanced over and saw a streak of purple along Janus’ wrist of his other arm, "what's that?" they grabbed Janus' wrist and pushed the sleeve up before he could protest. They read the words out loud, "'sup, fellow cryptids? I'm your host, Virgil Keir and it's time to talk about why you absolutely should run to the woods to date the Fae.' Wait…" Remus looked up knowingly, "Virgil is your soulmate, not your coworker."

"He can be both. Like I said, he's not easy to get along with-" Janus was sweating under his collar.

"I want to meet him!" Remus exclaimed.

"Why?' Janus was genuinely puzzled by their reaction.

"Hello! I love his youtube channel and you're my easy in! Plus he's your soulmate so he's gotta be important to you, which makes him all the more important to me," Remus grinned happily, "I swear I'm not jealous that you have two soulmates."

Janus let the comment slide past him, "I'll talk with him, but he's rather private. He may not want to meet you. I mean, he hasn't asked about you at all."

"Alright alright. Thanks, Jan!" Remus kissed him again, "wanna stay the night?" they asked with a wink.

"Not tonight, we both have work tomorrow and it's late enough already," Janus gave them a silvery smile while standing to pay the bill.

"Aw man, I can't wait to tell Stormy about this!" Remus pulled out their phone and was already texting with fire in their eyes.

"Who’s Stormy?" Janus asked hesitantly.

"Tumblr mutual. He's like the biggest fan of 'Mothman Mondays'. He'll be so stoked!"

"Ah- well have fun with that. Goodnight, darling," Janus left quickly. This needed to be contained. ---- Virgil stared at his phone in disbelief.

thotiestthoughts: stormy ull nvr guess!!

thotiestthoughts: my soulmate knows Virgil K!!!

Thoti was probably Virgil’s favorite fan, they messaged on tumblr all the time and had become quite good friends, but it was through his anonymous account not the official blog for his show. He debated how he would respond before typing back.

stormcloud07734: wow what a coincidence. r u secretly him? ;)

The best defense is a strong offense, right?

thotiestthoughts: !!!! im so excite!!!!!!

stormcloud07734: that means u must live pretty close to him

thotiestthoughts: u think hes in Orlando???

Virgil smiled. He knew he was in Orlando. But he had a better idea.

stormcloud07734: don't know about Virgil but im in Orlando. wanna meet up?

His heart was pounding. If this were anyone else but thoti he'd never consider it.

thotiestthoughts: OMG WHEN? RN?

stormcloud07734: how about tomorrow?

Virgil smiled at thoti's enthusiasm. They both picked a local cafe to meet in the afternoon and signed off for the night. Virgil didn’t even wait for Janus to get home before falling asleep. ---- Virgil got to the cafe an hour early. He could barely feel his own breathing as his heart felt like it filled his whole chest and stomach. What if he was wrong and thoti turned out to be a creep or stalker? What if he was never heard from again? He hadn't even said goodbye to Janus that morning. He tried to scroll tumblr to calm down, tried to research for his next episode, anything to distract himself from the anticipation and anxiety.

Remus couldn't wait to meet stormy and was practically bouncing around the back seat of xyr Uber. He'd given xem his phone number since they'd never shared photos and xe was trying desperately to not call before xe got to the cafe.

About a block away xyr phone started ringing. It was stormy.

"Hello?" Xe answered breathlessly.

An all too familiar voice answered xem, "hey, thoti, I know you're not here just yet but I have a bit of a confession to make."

"Virgil…" Remus was practically shoved out of the car by the driver as xe was paralyzed in shock. Xe looked up and saw the familiar pale face, purple hair with swooping bangs and dark eyeshadow smiling at him from a table in the corner, phone held to his face.

"Yup, sorry," Virgil hung up as Remus walked over, mouth agape.

"All this time?" xe asked, not ready to sit at the table with one of xyr favorite minor celebrities.

"Yeah, I kinda like participating in cryptid culture without being hounded about my videos," Virgil shrugged with a grin, "come on, sit down. I'm a lot more like stormcloud than I am like my videos."

"I'm Remus," xe stuck out xyr hand.

"Virgil," he snickered and pinched Remus' fingers with three of his own and gave a curt little shake. Xe laughed and sat down across the table, fidgeting with xyr hoodie strings. Virgil gave xem a long look over, "so your soulmate knows me?"

"Oh yeah, I kinda found out last night and asked him to ask you to meet me so if he brings that up, sorry. I just got really excited about it," Remus blushed in embarrassment, "hopefully Janus will be cool about it."

Virgil stopped mid-sip of a mocha latte, "Janus?"

"Yeah, our soulmate."

"You're his soulmate too? I don't believe you," Virgil shook his head.

"I saw both lines of writing on his arms last night, I'm sure of it!" Remus' grin began to falter, "but whatever, right? We're not here to talk about soulmates. I've been so excited to meet you."

"Hang on, how long?" Virgil demanded.

"How long what? My d-"

"How long have you been soulmates?" Virgil smacked the table.

"About 5 months," Remus looked down at the table. This was going terribly.

"Janus has been my soulmate for 2 years and he never brought up a second soulmate. I can't-" Virgil looked like something inside him was dying, "why wouldn't he mention you?"

"He- oh my god he doesn't want me around… and you probably hate me just for existing…" Remus looked up as Virgil laid a hand gently on xyrs.

"No. I don't hate you. We're going to get to the bottom of this." ---- Virgil sat in bed next to Janus who was preoccupied with a book. He didn't know how to bring up Remus and every moment he felt sicker and sicker in his stomach. The frequent fights, the talk at work about a girlfriend, the distance between them, when he thought about it he realized it had only really started 5 months ago.

Janus reached out to take his hand and Virgil instinctively pulled away.

"What's wrong, Virgil?" Janus asked sweetly.

"Don't touch me," he muttered just as the clock struck midnight. He glanced at the yellow text without bothering to read it, "I bet this one is a lie too."

"Virgil, what do you mean? You're acting suspicious," Janus’ mind was reeling. He'd forgotten what Virgil had said he was going to do that day and didn't expect him to be so hostile. He glanced down at the purple text on his arm and asked, "who's 'thoti', Virgil?"

Virgil started to reply when he saw a flash of green on his own arm. He looked and was surprised to find a second soul mark in a dark green scrawl. His phone was ringing and he didn't even need caller ID to know who it was, "are you seeing this too, Rem?" Virgil's eyes flicked over to Janus and narrowed, "a second soulmate, who could have guessed?" Janus kept his face impressively passive at the news and subtle accusation, "okay, see you soon."

Virgil hung up and glared at Janus who simply repeated, "who's 'thoti', Virgil?"

"You insufferable bastard! You know exactly who xe is, your 'girlfriend' our soulmate," Virgil scowled, ready to tear out a throat and leave the body for the wolves. He saw that Remus had texted him that xe was 10 minutes away. Janus had nowhere to run now.

"Her name is Remus. Why would I assume she was your soulmate or that you would give her such a disrespectful nickname?" Janus tried to steer the conversation in his favor.

"You're going to accuse me of disrespect? For the last five months, you have done nothing but lie to us and you're saying I'm the disrespectful one? You can't deflect your way out of this one, babe," Virgil felt his eye twitch. Remus better get there fast if he wanted both soulmates intact.

Virgil was screaming and beating Janus with a pillow when the doorbell rang.

"What the fuck? Is this a confrontation or a sleepover?" Remus burst in the door, finding it unlocked. He ran over and pulled Virgil off of Janus, getting a face full of feathers in the process.

"Oh just casual domestic abuse," Janus picked himself off the floor as Virgil struggled to get out of Remus' grasp.

"I'm going to make him pay, one way or another!" Virgil snarled.

"I don't know, Virgil, I think we can work this out," he blurted out.

Virgil stared at Remus dumbfounded, "you think what? Work this out? He's lied to you the whole time you've known him!"

"So did you," Remus looked down as if ashamed to say it out loud, "I thought you were stormcloud. I gushed about Virgil to you for hours and you never thought to tell me who you really were. I bet you even got content ideas from me and never had to credit them. So how is that different, if not worse, than Janus being scared of you doing exactly what you're doing right now?"

"You really think having an anonymous tumblr is worse than being manipulated for years? Is that what I'm hearing, Remus?"

"I think you're overreacting. I want to try and fix this relationship because we're soulmates and we should be able to make it work," Remus sighed, turning away from Virgil, "I'm not cutting anyone off."

"It's alright, Virgil. I forgive you. Let's figure this out together-"

"NO!" something snapped. Virgil squared up, facing the other two, "get out."

"Virgil," Janus took a step towards him.

"I said, Get Out."

"Oh, did you forget? The lease is in my name. I'm not leaving my fucking apartment. If you don't want to work with us then you can work on getting your own place to live," Janus’ look turned smug and cold as ice.

"Janus, don't kick him out," Remus looked as though he were about to spiral into a panic attack. If he'd just kept his mouth shut for once maybe-

"No, he's right. He holds shelter and food over my head to keep me in line so he can keep a secret fuck boy on the side and expects me to 'work it out' like I'm too scared to fend for myself. Fuck you," Virgil started to laugh with tears streaming down his cheeks. He turned and grabbed his backpack, walking to their room to grab as much of his stuff as he could. Remus followed him, holding Janus back from saying anything more.

"Virgil, please. I don't want to lose you," Remus pleaded softly.

"I thought you were pissed at me for being a liar on the internet," Virgil muttered.

"Maybe, but if I'm willing to forgive Janus don't you think I can forgive you too?" Remus held up his arm to block the door.

Virgil stopped with a heavy exhausted sigh, "I don't want your forgiveness. Remus, if you love me, let me go."

Virgil watched as a tear slipped down Remus' face and he lowered his arm. The rage that fueled him broke and he grabbed Remus in a hug. The other stiffened, uncertain, before relaxing and hugging Virgil back.

"I didn't want to leave you; I just can't stay with him," Virgil fought to keep his voice from trembling as much as his shoulders were shaking.

"I'll see if my landlord can add you on my lease… that way you don't have to leave?" Remus offered hopefully.

"That sounds like a thousand more nights spent screaming. Not a good idea," Virgil broke away from the hug, "thank you, Remus."

"You… you know how to find me if you need me," Remus laughed sullenly.

"Thanks. I'm sorry."

Remus only nodded as Virgil made for the front door.

"If you leave right now, you'll never see him again," Janus spoke from his place on the couch, wine glass in hand, and already half-empty in the short time Virgil spent packing.

"I know. Anything to keep me from fighting you, right? Just watch me find a way to be happy, asshole," Virgil spat before walking out without a second glance back. ---- "Virgil?"

"What?"

"I love you."

"No, you don't!" Virgil hissed, pushing himself away as hard as he could.

"Virgil, I know I'm not your soulmate but I am confident about my feelings for you," Logan looked confused and hurt but all Virgil could see was a cold, sly smile he'd tried so hard to forget. Reality started to blur and Virgil began to hyperventilate while the smirk leered closer, "Virgil, it's me, Logan. In for four."

Virgil focused on the calming voice and followed its instructions. After a few minutes, he could see Logan’s living room, feel the blanket tangled around their feet, the soft touch of his best friend pulling him back from the edge.

"Logan, I- I'm-"

"Don't apologize. There's nothing to apologize for," Logan held him close, resting his chin in Virgil’s hair, "you were clearly triggered. I did not mean to hurt you and your lashing out wasn't directed at me."

"But I know you aren't him, it's not fair for me to treat you that way," Virgil shuddered, pushing in to be as close to Logan as possible.

"Perhaps not, but I'm choosing to forgive it because I know this isn't easy for you," Logan smiled rubbing small circles on his back, "I will learn one thousand different ways to show you my appreciation and care if those three little words are ineffective and harmful to you."

"I don't deserve you," Virgil's voice was muffled as he buried his face in Logan’s chest to hide the tears threatening to spill over.

"No, you deserve so much more than I can give you, and you didn't deserve what happened in the past," Logan kissed the top of his head sweetly.

Virgil choked back a sob, "don't your soulmates hate me?"

Logan sighed, "no. They are happy together and I am happy for them. It has been a while since I've talked to either Patton or Roman, but I think they're okay with me finding you. Not every breakup is toxic, nor are all soulbonds romantic."

They stayed curled together like that on the couch for quite a while, the movie they'd been watching left forgotten on pause.

"Are you happy, Logan?" Virgil whispered, breaking the easy silence.

"With you, yes."

"Promise?"

"I promise I won't lie to you. I am happy with you, Stormcloud," Logan squeezed him tighter, trying to impart every ounce of his love with the application of force. He never wanted to be the one hurting Virgil, and if he ever met Janus or Remus, there was a baseball bat with their names on it in the corner.

Tag List: @stoicpanther @ifrickenhatedeverythingaboutthis @idontgiveafuckaboutshit @tsshipmonth2020

[incorrectpredators]

a summary of what personalities i give the boys

The Dumb Boys

kevin fiala - the slutty dumb boy. usually flirting with someone else. young, dumb, and full of You Know ;) has been essentially adopted/taken in by kyle turris

juuse saros - not so much dumb as he is clueless. he is like a little baby whom needs someone to tell him what to do essentially adopted/taken in by pekka rinne

ryan johansen - the greasy dumb boy pt 1

craig smith - the greasy dumb boy pt 2

The Fathers

pekka rinne - the most mischievous of “the fathers”, most likely to joke around with and prank his adoptees, still loves taking care of them though, most notable children: juuse saros, eeli tolvanen, miikka salomaki, patrik laine, sebastian aho, mikko rantanen, and Possibly connor brown (based on photographic evidence i have). someone please stop him

kyle turris - the new father. he’s new around here and he has already adopted a child. he’s a little messy with it bc he’s so new to it but is the most organized of the fathers. most notable children: kevin fiala

dan hamhuis - hammer is technically new here, but he really isn’t. he may be just over a month younger than pekka, but is the oldest soul of the fathers. he is wise and the most responsible of the fathers. notable children: none so far, but that may be because he just got back to nashville and is having to take care of Everyone.

The Pretty Boys

roman josi - viewed as the prettiest boy, but is he?, the Dumb pretty boy. he literally admitted he never read a book. thats very concerning to me. he is the residential dumb pretty boy, but kevin fiala is definitely coming for his role. “can we talk? one ten to another?”

pk subban - the answer is no. jos is not the prettiest boy. i love josi but pk just came in and not only took his spot as prettiest defenseman but is also the prettiest player in general. he’s the pretty boy who is just here to have a genuinely good time. he’s also pretty smart, do not doubt him. he is regina george if regina george wasnt white, a girl, and a complete asshole. he is possibly the nicest on the team. “i’m an eleven but continue”

The Cryptids

ryan hartman - hartsy just got here from chicago and he is still a mystery to me. my profile may say filip forsberg is secretly the grunch road monster but hartsy is definitely the most likely to be an actual cryptid. i think it’s possible he’s the goatman. so watch your back shane madej bc hartsy is coming for you.

dan hamhuis - listen, i may not like the fact that we signed him but i do love hammer. im a little disappointed he’s never played for the sharks though, as i really want to call him a hammerhead shark. but hammer is a cryptid, perhaps simply because i have no idea what he’s been up to since he left nashville. how well will he mesh w our d core this year? is he happy he finally got his number five in nashville? does he like beets? i know nothing about him.

frederick gaudreau - i was tempted to put him in the final category of this post but i just couldn’t. freddie hockey is a pretty boy, but he isn’t around enough to be classified With the pretty boys. he’s definitely a cryptid though. who is he? does he like his nickname? does he have any pets? did he ever get his damn locker? these are all questions i may never get the answer to.

The Inbetweeners/Other

note: this is a category that is a combination of players who 1. had traits of at least one category, but not enough to be put in it 2. players who are alone in their own categories and 3. players who technically probably shouldn’t be on this blog, but are

eeli tolvanen - exhibits cryptid traits, but isnt used in that role on here. tends to hang out with the younger guys (juuse and kevin most often) but is a bit of a wildcard. he is usually being flirted with by kevin or being paired of with his “boyfriend” (note that this is a joke blog, i dont actually believe him and the player who will be talked about later on are dating. it’s simply a joke and i tag posts that show hints of any of the players being in a relationship as “rpf” because i know even just the implication can make some ppl uncomfortable) is mostly known for being unskilled in the comforting/emotion side of things (“would a glowstick make you feel better?”) and tends to be a bit blunt or cynical at times, although he might throw around a joke or two if necessary.

filip forsberg - is both a cryptid and a pretty boy, but not enough to be put in those categories. is the meme loving fuck of the jofa line. known for fidget spinners and being put down for chicken (as he’s watching his figure)

viktor arvidsson - could be one of “The Fathers” but he really isn’t. he is just forced to be because JOEY AND FIL DON’T KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE THEMSELVES. but neither does he so it tends to be a big old mess when they’re together.

calle jarnkrok - calle is just tired ok. he’s tired and pretty grumpy. he’s a new dad and he’s surrounded by grown adults who act like children, so cut him some slack please. known for tearing up at a marshmallow rendition of himself and hanging out with ekky

mattias ekholm - ah the swedish elk himself. is also a new father and is usually just too tired to even show up in my quotes. when he does, he’s usually hanging out with calle. 

anthony bitetto - PROBABLY should’ve been in the dumb boys category but im not going back to put him in there. a flat earther? most likely. i really need the colorado avalanche to send colin back please he was the only smart one on the team now tony is lost. also im not entirely sure him and colton sissons are seperate ppl.

colton sissons - is the most normal of the group. but is also lowkey dumb. doing his best i think? i hope? once again im not entirely convinced him and tony are seperate people

colin wilson - one of two players who fall into the  “once a pred always a pred” tag. usually seen trying to help tony understand.... literally anything.... and being mourned by me. i miss him. colorado give him back to me :(

james neal - the other “once a pred always a pred” player. he doesn’t appear often but when he does usually something about hating himself is involved. he’s a greasy boy and used to be the pred’s greaseball but now that he’s gone craig smith has taken his place as Main Greaseball

sebastian aho - isn’t on here a lot, but he’s mentioned from time to time. one of pekka’s kids but their relationship is strained due to aho not being on the preds.

miro heiskanen - the Honorary Pred of the account. he may be a dallas star but he’s a pred in my heart. most commonly used as the goofy sidekick boyfriend of eeli tolvanen, which is taken from a commercial they were in together. i joked about them being forbidden lovers and now its just the role he plays on this account. all posts that (keep in mind, i mean it jokingly) refer to miro and eeli as being boyfriends is tagged with “rpf” so you can blacklist it if the implication of players dating makes you uncomfortable

[shachathabrah]

okay holy shit you guys. i made this blog on september 12th with little more than a stupid url and a strawberry seed’s worth of an idea for him and it already has 100 followers(104 now???). what the fuck. shame on you. this muse is terrible and y’all have horrible taste

okay but actually i wanna thank each and every one of you for not only PUTTING UP with cath, but also for interacting with him, caring about him, and being engaging with him. it blows my mind that someone so awful and terrible can actually make friends, have people that genuinely care for and have his best interests in mind.

without you guys... idk where to start! i haven't had this much fun with a muse in a long time, and i'm not sure if it's because i've thrown aside the shame of being a person that's a little more on the abrasive and crass side to play cath, or if it's because the interactions i experience on him are either super meaningful or just plain fun! or both. it’s probably both.

so here i am to do a dumb follow forever/blog i love thing. most of these names won't surprise you but if you want a slice of awesome in your blogging experience please consider giving them a follow if you don't already!

@txmescence - this is lial! this muse is the driving force behind this blog and muse. a lot goes on behind the scenes that regrettably not everyone can see, but a majority of cath's growth and development comes from this muse and this mun. they’re a terribly terrific duo and honestly i wouldn’t have nearly as much fun with cath if not for lial. FURTHERMORE, lin is ?? amazing ??? i love her so much she's so wonderful and creative and fun and funny and we have so many ideas and i really want y'all to follow her so you can experience her awesomeness!!

@floramodus - i love? flora? she is such a sweetheart and so good. she cares so much about cath and lial i literally can't believe it sometimes. like, the boys don't deserve her care or kindness but there she is anyway proud to be their adoptive momma. THEY SAY THEY CAN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES, but lately i don't know what they'd do without her. and mun is the sweetest, i'm so happy i took the initiative to crawl outta my shell a little and talk to gubs. pls follow and give love. :')

@thalassophiloustopaz - lemme get uhhhhhh some great support and a cute boy and on-demand flirting 24/7???? in all his centuries of existence cath has never met anyone, let alone a mortal, that's willing to look past all his glaring (really. like. neon sign, roadside tourist trap, wikipedia page-worthy) faults and be like hey i love you and think you're worthy of that regardless of what you are or what you can and can't do. even if cath bites his tongue a lot in regards to the stupid shit he does. smh. dirk is??? a good boy... and mun is a fucking delight... gxd bless

@technophobicdreamboat - listen. listen,, , are you listening. this muse is cool af and cath(and me!) thinks he's really neato and finds his weird perks completely fucking off the wall baller. they chill and do naughty stuff together and cath thinks that he's found an individual, if possible, more fascinating than himself. mun is fun to talk to and bounce neat ideas off of and just chitchat with in general. 10/10

@chimechoho - also adorable? wtf. what the fuck. cath secretly looks forward to all his positive stuff (and the things he posts on his naughty blog ;) ) and also not so secretly likes all the nice things he says about him. also?? the cute selfies that are posted like every day??? i love them so very much. pls u are wonderful and adorable keep it UP <3

@kindredconfectionery - john is a nice guy that cath likes joking around with and talking about COOL PLANTS with. they gotta hang more and talk more cause i miss their banter :p but all in all ??? a Very good. thank u for being there and helping 2 build him w me :3

@famelicose-sanguine - OXY IS THE NUMBER ONE CATH BULLY SHE SHOULD BE ASHAMED?????? but also holy shit it's a fucking riot and i'm so fucking happy for it lmfao i love this between them cath thinks she's great and also the Zelda friend pls. pls love him forever.

@wicked-honktraband - i swear these two are kindred fucking spirits that need to get high af and watch suplex videos and lick teeth and possibly fuck and also be GOOD FRIENDS DAMMIT

@mothical - good boy, good friend. what can i say. gimme these good cryptid boys forever xoxo

HEY i'm bad at words and shit but here's some other gr8 blogs u should follow: @ask-cherrylioness @meufasa @lokalcryptid @kyprinos @turntechhex @darkplumdragon @paythegeist @tabescentabasement @bloodied-blades @nyota-sungura @sanesspsuede

also please?? if you ever?? want to plot shit with me oocly IM me or ask for my discord and we can DO STUFF!! bad stuff good stuff naughty stuff you name it i wanna do it pls don’t be afraid to approach me i’m so nervous but wanna rp with y’all

 also soft shoutout to my other blogs that deserve love too: 

@mechfucker​ my dirk (crocker? strider? who knows) that i’ve had for many moons and love a lot. dirk is complex and sort of an ass, but recently his memories have been swapped with someone else’s unbeknownst to him, and facing the concern from others is an interesting challenge.

@anathematique​ my alpha dave that i’ve had for longer and love even more. the past 4 years have been cruel to him, blackmail and other dark secrets dotting his past. but he holds his head up high and does his best to pass on the good feelings and new lease on life he’s acquired.

ANYWAY THAT’S ALL THANK YOU I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

how the fuck do you write a follow forever wait is the mic still on fuck