#also i think she should have a droid and/or animal companion

[ragedagainst]

love the idea of jyn being someone who doesn't want to physically have kids but ends up with a bunch of adopted ones anyway, especially as she gets older. like a bunch of young recruits she takes under her wing (not that she'd admit that) start calling her mom as a joke and it sorta sticks.

[shouldntcryoverit]

the art of discordance

captain rex x jedi fic during clones wars era...

CHAPTER TWO

Pure chaos resonated as the small team fought to overcome the controls. The panic bubbling over from the separatist attack didn’t diminish as the smaller ship shot through lightspeed, leaving three half crazed jedi, a few clones, and one injured general.

“Turn the power back on! Turn it on!” Jaida yelled into the cockpit. The victory of avoiding the burning sun they were previously on course to crash straight into was short lived as they swerved dangerously close to another planet.

“I’m... trying!” Aayla groaned, hand outstretched to the lever. It clunked downwards and Jaida, Rex and Aayla fell to the floor with a heavy thud.

The ship plummeted towards the ground, having lost all control over the engines. Smoke encased them through a straight course at least an inch into the growth, leaving a scorched dent in their path. The clones and jedi scrambled to get out the burning wreckage of the ship, though when they all collapsed in relief, they found their situation to be no better.

Anakin was in a bad condition, one that looked to be deteriorating quickly. Ahsoka and Jaida carried him to rest under a makeshift tent, but the young padawan didn’t move as he lay unconscious. Jaida watched with concerned eyes, for her friend yes, but also for the young togruta that shuffled anxiously. The pair hadn’t spoken much; Ahsoka had spent her time training or at the temple whereas Jaida remained very much rooted in battle rooms, but the times they did spend with each other Jaida found the kid’s attitude refreshing. She knew why Anakin spoke so highly of her.

“he’ll be okay kid” Rex reassured. Ahsoka nodded solemnly and sighed, walking forward to talk over her master.

“Jaida and Rex will watch over you, be strong master” the togruta uttered, before resuming her position beside the knights.

The two watched as the rest of the group ran off into the tall grass, leaving them to stand in silence.

Jaida let out a shaky breath as she folded onto the ground, Anakins feet in front of her.

Rex spoke first “he will be okay, sir” it was an attempt to reassure her, though she had not admitted she was worried.

Her response was another huff of breath, followed by a hand running through her hair.

“Anakin has always had the ability to bounce back from injuries, it seems even his body is too stubborn to stop fighting” her words fell heavy as she watched her friend’s chest rise and fall slowly.

Rex’s smile settled “you care more than you let on, don’t you?”

Her eyes lifted from Anakin’s form and met his in a rigid glare. Rex regretted his boldness instantly, but her eyes softened in admission.

“i saw your order” he continued bravely “the men wondered were it all came from” he was referring to the extra order of cotten blankets she had placed a week previously. Rex assumed it was out of compassion as she realised the coldness of the Resolute.

“good, men work better if they actually manage a decent night sleep” She got up and brushed herself down, peaking her head around the corner to check for any signs. Rex felt a twinge in his stomach of her disregard; her kind act now seemed tainted as nothing more than a battle strategy, and it left a bad taste on his tongue.

Rex took a moment actually size up the new general. Her robes were similar to Skywalker’s, but they fitted her form more. She wore black boots and gloves up to her elbow, her collarbone hidden with the same material. Her hair was lighter in the sun, but Rex could still see the way it framed her face and fell loosely from its plaited hold. Her face was still set in that expression of neutrality, though it broke slightly as the hint of serenity curved her alluring lips. Her eyes were young and bright, full of a mixture of gold and blue.

Before she could say anything else, a roar broke the silence, followed by the pounding footsteps of two animals.

Rex shot up, blasters ready, and Jaida ignited her duel blade. They shared a look of panic, before they each dove away to block or attack whatever strike came at them.

After quite some struggle, the pair had overcome their attackers, and the two animals lay dead on the ground. Before the interruption, Jaida had felt a new sense of gratitude towards the captain. That maybe she had misjudged his professionalisms and could enjoy his company further than what protocol dictated. It was when Rex propped himself up that Anakin groaned awake. At the noise, Jaida hurried to his aid.

“Anakin! You okay?” she helped him sit up. He groaned once more and faultered against his injuries.

“this mission- sucks” he managed. As he came to, the surroundings became clearer. “you look like hell”

“always a charmer” she grinned as he helped him up.

“what happened to the others?” Skywalker quizzed

“the went to look for help, actually they should be back soon.”

“so we don’t have a ship, communication or supplies, great” Anakin grumbled

“negativity doesn’t suit you”

“you got a better outlook?” before Jaida could reply to his question, the rest of their team stumbled out of the grass, along with a new companion.

By the time it took to take Anakin back to the village, his condition had deteriorated. Jaida couldn’t budge the irrational feeling in her stomach, but held face as Ahsoka trudged next to her.

“I understand staying neutral, but really? i mean you gotta have an opinion at least!” she ranted

“some people just don’t care about what doesn’t involve them” Jaida countered absentmindedly

“selfish”

“perhaps”

They made it to the village, and despite the old chief’s disgruntled disagreement they were allowed to seek refuge. It was no retreat, that was for certain, but Ahsoka for one felt entirely more secure knowing that her master was getting the medical attention he so desperately needed.

He was whisked away by the village medic almost as soon as they arrived, and the three Jedi left remained cautious of theyre situation.

Time passed, with Ahsoka helping a few villagers carry out daily tasks, and Jaida scouting the near area; it actually felt like time had stopped. There was a peacefulness that none of the visitors had experience in such a long time, for clones maybe never. Rex had never been able to sit and watch as children laughed and played, without thinking about how he should escape if need be. It was tranquil and calm, and it made Rex think.

When Jaida returned, she returned quickly.

“Ahsoka! Tell Aayla we’re gonna have company!” her shouted alerted the relaxed captain into a far more rigid standing.

“who is it?” Bly questioned with furrowed brows

“seppies”

—————————————————-

Everytime she looked his way there was something that sparked, or snapped maybe - he wasn’t sure. It wasn’t anything good, but he doubted that it was hate. Rex just couldn’t stand the feeling he gave her. So he figured he couldn’t stand her.

It was no different now as the pair waited behind the stacks of nut pods for the enemy to near. A plan had been formulated after they left the village so quickly, and by seeing the extent ifthe seperatist forces it was no wonder they had scrambled to do so. Jaida had already irked him today, by seeming so unbothered by the idea of a new ion canon, one that was able to wipe out all organic matter.

His distractions dissipated when the first shot flew past his head. That was certainly enough to wipe his mind. He ducked behind a pod and began shooting, knocking droids down like a pin ball game at 79s.

The disctractions, those that humanised into the form of a woman standing of few metres to his left, seemed to have a mind of their own. Jaida slunked away from her position, and walked straight out into the battlefield. Rex grinded his teeth as she put away her lightsaber. He had to remind himself that yes she was putting herself in unecessary danger, and that no, that wasn’t what he was angry about.

“im sure your a smart man” Jaida called out, hands calmly behind her back “there’s certainly a more pleasant way to deal with situations” the words fell fruitlessly off her tongue.

“what’s she doing?” Bly muttered with spite, though Aayla dismissed his question with a wave of her hand.

“don’t try to trick me, jedi”

“there is no trick. You are the one with canon of course” she smiled coldly at the separatist, patronism seeping through her tone “although, if we do manage to reach an agreement, your day might just turn out swell”

“was that a threat?!” the hast in his voice caused a loud clunk to be heard as the droids aimed they’re guns once more.

“nope” Jaida said, popping the ‘p’, just before a clankers took a shot, and she dodged it. Perfectly.

It looked like some sort of game on the holonet, Jaida avoiding each bullet carelessly and without struggle, as if they bent around her path instead. She reached a safe distance, and smiled pleasantly, reaching into a pocket behind her back and drawing a small explosive. She threw it into the canon opening, and the problem was solved with a rattling boom.

Her solution did work, but Rex still kept a stern look. Even when the support ships finally rescued them.

He kept it until she rested beside him, both standing against a wall bored and tired.

“you look tired” he commented

“hm” Jaida’s eyes never left the datapad she was staring at. “you should get some rest too, it’s been a long few days” she deliberated carelessly. When the captain didn’t reply she turned her head to face him.

“what is it?”

The captain tittered antagonisingly “why is it that you always have to go off script?”

Jaida looked at him with a more confused look than anger.

“i saved those villagers, you know that was my only intention?” her tone was clear, informative.

“you do never fail to keep battles interesting” Rex quipped

“i think i’ll take that as a compliment” she grimaced

“perhaps you should”

She spoke after a moment of pregnant silence. “captain if there’s something you have to say i suggest you say it”

“with all due respect, you ought to realise that you have a responsibility to your men, to yourself even” he began after a beat.

“it isn’t something i’ve failed to notice”

“you brash, careless- you act like you have nothing to loose”

“we’re fighting a war” Jaida countered

“and we don’t need anymore casualties than we already have” Rex’s voice was no longer as angry as it began, now growing colder as exasperation clawed at his tired mind.

Rex paused, taking a deep breath of his own and trying to rid himself of his own irrational and unprofessional nags.

“i am not a liability, you need to trust me” she was stern now. It wasn’t that the captain had irked her, his anger came from a very real place, but she was just annoyed that she couldn’t find the words to calm it.

“and you need to trust that we know what we’re doing, even without your last minute strategies”

Silence. Jaida clicked her tongue, acceptance though Rex didn’t know to recognise it.

“goodnight general”

She locked eyes with him once more. A second passed, before he left her in silence.

He didn’t hate her. That he knew for sure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hope you liked this let me know if you want to be tagged in next chapters! :))

Taglist -

@pinkiemme

[iscream4starscream]

I Think I Saw a Ghost

A Captain Rex x oc/self-insert fic

Summary: Uh.... just a little blurb and quick taste of my OC, Neiza, and her relationship to the 501st. 

Just a little disclaimer... I haven’t written anything, let alone something of fiction and a self-insert fic at that, in over a year. So please bear with me here. I tried not to give too much of my oc away from the start, because I hope to write more of her or fill in the spaces in another way. Also, Bleu, the wolf, is the size of a normal earth wolf. You can read this as like in ATLA all the animals are two together, except the earth kings “bear,” or you can read this as not all Lothe wolves are fucking massive. I hope one of those two makes sense to you. 

Anyway I was super scared to write this let alone post it here and it was a last minute decision so... be nice :’)

*********

The corridors were filled with life and laughter. 

The 501st had another victory under their belts, and it might as well have been an overkill. They were already pushing through the Separatist’s ranks when you arrived, with total control over the battle and success in their sights. You had already completed your private mission, but had overheard the battle on your way back to your ship. You always had strict orders to return to Coruscant after immediate completion of any of your missions, as you often held important and delicate information for the Republic, or risked blowing cover. 

But you were known for ignoring orders. 

With your trusted companion guiding you, a blue grey wolf named Bleu, you both made a dash towards the sounds of battle, and found yourself behind enemy lines. Blinded by surprise and taking heat from two fronts, the droid forces fell in record time. Of course, coming in unannounced frequently left the clones just as confused, and you were often greeted by men pointing blasters at your face before they recognized their ally. These uneasy greetings were becoming less frequent, however; they were finally starting to remember your name too. Back on Coruscant they invited you to the mess hall, and though you were hesitant, you followed them anyway. 

 “You know, I thought ghosts weren’t supposed to have a shadow?” Hardcase lightly elbows you in the shoulder, and you reciprocate with a light punch to his back as he skips ahead of you and his brothers. Ghost was the nickname someone had given you, you were uncertain who started it, but it had spread across the entire Republic Army. And the shadow he referred to was your beastly companion Bleu, whom never seemed to leave your side.

Out of mere fate, you seemed to be around the members of the 501st the most, despite your missions being private and solo. You knew almost all of them by their names. Echo, Fives, Jesse, Dogma, and Tup were grouped around you as you all walked to the mess hall. 

“Oh, and I thought clones were supposed to be smart!” You call after him, followed by a smirk. Bleu, keeping pace next to you, makes a grunt. There were various conversations and chatter, but Fives, who always left an ear open for you, laughs at your joke and jumps ahead to put Hardcase in a headlock. He began knocking Hardcase’s head with a clenched fist.

“I think she’s right boys, nothing in here but air!” Five’s teases as Hardcase tries to break free and stifle his laughter. There is a smile on everyone’s face as you finally reach the mess hall, already filled with other members of the 501st. Hardcase finally wrestles free from Fives and practically falls onto the bench of the nearest table, followed by Jesse who comes in just as hot, sliding across and nearly knocking Hardcase off the other end. As the rest of the group takes a seat, you find yourself standing awkwardly at the end of the table, and Fives, recognizing your position, scoots over to make room for you. He pats the space next to him. 

“Put her here, Ghost!” Fives winks at you, but you don’t move. The chatter at the table had suddenly ceased, and you felt the rest of the men staring at you. Even Bleu glanced up in confusion. Fives, sensing something is wrong, pulls his hand back in regret “Do...wolves sit at tables? We can make space for him too...” 

You suddenly realize your silence and lack of motion has left awkward confusion, and you speak abruptly. 

“No. It’s.... I’m not hungry anymore. I will catch you guys another time...” And the next moment you turn on your heals, taking your leave at a brisk pace. You can hear Fives behind you, asking his brothers if it was something he said. Bleu is quick to take his pace beside you, touching his nose to the palm of your hand in his way to say “I’m with you, truly.”

You’re not really sure where you’re going until you’ve found it, and you stop in a short, abandoned hallway, an echo of your shaky exhale reverberating down the walls. Bleu whines, knowing there is something on your mind and itching in your throat, and he wants to make it disappear. You run your fingers through the thick fur on top of his head, and chuckle. “Where would I be without you, my one and only?” Bleu wags his tail in response, but still his concerning gaze digs into yours, begging for more. 

You sigh, because you don’t want to be alone in this hallway, but you don’t believe you belong anywhere else either. Since you were 12, it had always just been you, and then you found Bleu, and then you were alone together. Even when you found your way to Coruscant, and snuck your way into the schooling system, it was just you and Bleu. Now, fighting for the Republic, you didn’t even belong to a specific legion....

Bleu twitched under your touch, and a low growl rumbled from his lips. You whipped around, hand ready on the pocket staff secured to your hip, only to find a very alarmed, but familiar, face. 

“You seem to surprise my men all the time, I only thought it fair to return the favor.”

“Ugh... dammit Rex...” You relax your position, and Bleu glides over to meet the Captain, tail wagging with vigor.

“Hey there big guy.” Fear over the wolf had subsided a long time ago among the members of the 501st, and some of the men even enjoyed and welcomed his company. Rex especially, but it wasn’t just the gentle beast that he admired, it was you, too. He looked to you now with just as much concern as Bleu had moments before.

“Fives told me you left the mess hall in a hurry, and I know you don’t take care of yourself during your missions...”

Your expressions immediately hardened, and you scoffed. “I’m fine, Captain.” You went to walk past him, but not before he placed a firm hand on your shoulder, stopping you. You pushed it away and took a step back. Rex looked at you, wide-eyed and struck by your actions. Bleu looked between the both of you, just as confused. You weren’t getting out of this one, and your act to be coarse just left your audience confused. Your demeanor melted in defeat.

“I’m sorry Rex, I just wanted to be alone right now.” You pleaded with your hazel eyes, but the look on Rex’s face returned to care.

“I know, but that’s kind of the problem. You never cease to aid myself and my men in the battlefield, even by your own accord and without direct orders. But the minute the fighting is over, you run away and hide like... well... a ghost.”

You feel the air getting heavy, and you want nothing more than to just disintegrate and float away, just as he’s describing, like you always do. Rex can see that he’s reaching your limits - both of your limits, and he stumbles quickly through his words.

“Ghost... I mean... Neiza....” he says your real name, and you look at him curiously, as the clones almost never use it. His face gets red, and he scratches his neck and takes a deep breath before looking you in the eyes again. 

“Neiza, you belong with us. With the 501st, Fives, Echo, Jesse.... all of them. We don’t want you to be a ghost anymore. We want you, Neiza. Let us get to know you, not just your skills on the battlefield.”

And Rex watches you, waiting for some sort of answer, worried he’s said it all wrong, even after discussing it a million times with his men. When you cover your face with your hands, he immediately regrets every word, and reaches out to you. “Neiza I’m sorry I didn’t...” 

Your hand reaches out and stops his without you looking. “Don’t touch me, I’m trying not to cry.”

Rex pulls back. “Oh, this wasn’t the plan, Neiza, I wasn’t supposed to...”

Suddenly behind your hands, you laugh, and as you pull your hands away they reveal a blushed face and a single tear. You punch Rex lightly on the chest, and he stares at you blankly, mouth ajar and unsure of what was happening. 

You laugh again, but this time a smile is spread across your face. 

“Look, I’m just as clueless about understanding my emotions as the rest of you. But... you have no idea how much all of what you said means to me. Really, Rex.”

And your both blushing like the hallway is on fire, words completely lost in the mended space between you both. It feels like a millennium before you decide to awkwardly outstretch your hand towards him, and he questions it before looking back at you. 

“Um.... friends, Captain?”

Rex chuckles and grins, before firmly shaking your hand in return.

“Yes Sir, friends.”

And your hands linger, entwined, just a few seconds longer than they should, before they are both returned respectfully to your sides. Bleu, who had been silently watching from the sidelines, understands the change in the force and barks and taps his feet excitedly. 

Rex rolls his shoulders, finally dropping the weight of the conversation behind them. He waves his hand and starts down the hallway, back towards the mess hall. “Why don’t we go eat and share some more good news then?”

You nod, taking step beside him and Bleu beside you. Rex takes a quick glance down at you, and he could swear that you were glowing. 

“Now that I think of it, I haven’t eaten in three days.”

Rex looks at you in shock. “What?”

You continue walking, unphased, and Rex shakes off your comment, thinking to himself he will have to address it another time, when you’re ready. 

And the only thing that remained transparent that evening was your new sense of belonging. 

[hellowkatey]

The Plights of Force Vision: Chapter 4

Rated T for language and depictions of violence

Summary: Obi-Wan is running on fumes. Anakin has a bad feeling about this. They go into battle anyway.

Read it on AO3

Chapter 4: General Kenobi

This morning, a shiny asked Obi-Wan if he preferred General Kenobi or Master Kenobi. It was a question that earned him a slap on the back of the head from one of the more experienced men. "He is your general, newbie, only the other Jedi call him Master." The men laughed it off, giving the kid trouble, and Obi-Wan walked away before they noticed.

An innocent question, yes, but one that sent Obi-Wan into a bit of a tailspin. The war has been getting to him. He hasn't had proper sleep in days, living off stale caff and wherever he can curl up for a thirty-minute power nap.

Do you prefer General Kenobi or Master Kenobi?

He wants to say master is his preferred title. The title he has been working his entire life for. Master Kenobi is a Jedi who worked hard to come back from less than adequate beginnings. One of the youngest members of the Jedi council (and they certainly like to remind him of the fact). A master of Soresu and the only Jedi that actually enjoys instructing the youngling Aurbesh class. After spending months teaching a padawan as stubborn as Anakin to read when he was nine, three-year-olds are a breeze.

But Master Kenobi isn't here right now. General Kenobi is.

General Kenobi is a smooth-talking, always rational, master of strategics. The Negotiator, they call him. Even named a ship after him and signed him up to command the whole of the Third Systems Army. High General Kenobi-- Who fights alongside his men on the front lines, coordinates the attack plans for other Jedi Generals, and somehow finds time to learn the names of thousands of troopers that look almost exactly the same. As much as Obi-Wan wants to be Master Kenobi, he simply is not. There will be a time and a place for that man, and one day he will get to take that place.

But not today.

Not as they prepare for battle. Not as Cody is assigning positions and handing out blasters to men who haven't been alive but ten years. Not as he overhears his former padawan challenging a sixteen-year-old to a competition on who can decimate the most battle droids. Certainly not as he looks at the plans and can tell this is going to be a bad battle where no matter how well they fight they will lose many troopers.

Because underneath Master Kenobi and General Kenobi is Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan is simply tired.

He feels Anakin approaching, so he pushes aside his weariness and pretends to be going over their starting positions. A strong hand clamps onto his shoulder.

"I know I didn't just hear you two planning another one of your silly competitions," he says before Anakin or Ahsoka can say anything.

"It's called efficiency, Master," Anakin replies cooly, plucking the datapad right from Obi-Wan's hand. He rolls his head to the side so the knight can better see his dissatisfied expression. Ahsoka chuckles, looking between the two generals in a staring match.

"We have to beat Master Mundi's record!" Ahsoka says, nudging her master in the ribs. "C'mon Skyguy, Rex is waiting for us."

"What have I told you about-- nevermind, let's go," He turns back to Obi-Wan and gives him a one-finger salute. "May the Force be with you, Master."

Obi-Wan smiles. "And with both of you."

The pair takes off toward a gunship on the opposite side of the staging area where Captain Rex is waiting as patiently as a trooper dealing with those two can be. Obi-Wan can't help a small smile as he watches the Master and Apprentice pair talk with animated motions the entire way over. Ahsoka is simultaneously a good lesson in responsibility for Anakin, and so much like him, they might as well be quarreling siblings. In a certain way, he feels like they are both his padawans-- kids thrust into war too young. He feels responsible for them no matter how many times Anakin is insistent that he is not "a padawan anymore" and he can "take care of himself".

Right. I'd like to see him trying to make that claim while he curls up in my bunk after a rough mission or having a bad dream.

(Truth be told, Obi-Wan doesn't mind when Anakin shows up at his door in the wee hours of the night, his eyes bloodshot and watery from another horrifying premonition within his dreams. It's a feeling Obi-Wan knows far too well. He is pleased his quarters are a place where the young knight can feel safe.)

"Ready, sir?" Cody says. Obi-Wan hadn't noticed he walked up next to him. He looks at the clone commander he's come to consider a good friend and puts on his best look of confidence.

"Of course, Cody. Gather the men."

_________

As Anakin and Ahsoka take off, leaving the staging area to get to their drop point, Anakin keeps his gaze fixed on his former master until they are too high for him to see him. He frowns, earning a mirrored look from his padawan standing across from him.

"What is it, Master?"

He can't really explain it. Something is nagging at him and he isn't sure why.

"I just have a weird feeling."

"To be honest," she says, placing a hand on her belly. "I think those rations this morning were expired...I've had a weird feeling all morning, too."

He squints. "Ahsoka, rations don't expire."

"Then why did it taste like cardboard?"

Rex, who is standing next to Ahsoka starts to laugh. "Did you have the taco salad one, sir?"

She looks up at him with wide eyes. "Yes!"

"That's just how that one tastes. We usually leave those for the stray cats."

Ahsoka looks disgusted, and Rex and the other nearby troopers look amused. But Anakin stares back out the open door of the gunship trying to puzzle through what could be feeling so strange in the Force.

________

Obi-Wan is quite literally knee-deep in battle droids. Some of them had the misguided programming to attempt to dogpile him, which resulted in about ten battle droids being sliced through their midsections with a quick spin of his saber. Coincidentally, a few tanks and another battalion of battle droids decided to show up at that moment, so the area around him quickly turned into a battle droid barricade.

Anakin would find this hilarious, Obi-Wan thinks, managing a smirk as another battle droid gets added to the pile. The battle is going well, allowing him some respite. The Separatists had a good position, but their strategy was weak. The 501st managed to push the forces that threatened Obi-Wan's pursuit the most into retreat, freeing up significant resources to aid the main front. Their casualty numbers have been minimal so far, and he can feel the confidence and energy of the men increasing as this daunting battle quickly turns in their favor.

And then, Obi-Wan feels a familiar prickle down his spine and the faint smell of mint. Surrounded by battle droids bleeding oil and shooting sparks, the fresh scent should be the last thing he should come across. His eyes widen as he frantically turns to find Cody.

Thus far in the war, Obi-Wan has gotten lucky.

Now, luck is not necessarily something he believes in-- everything is the will of the Force. However, since his visions are also the will of the Force, he figures the fact that a bad one has not struck him in the midst of a battle is something he can consider lucky. At least, luck attributed to the Force being not in the mood to see him incapacitated while getting shot at.

Of course, the reason Obi-Wan doesn't like luck is that it runs out.

And of course, it happened to run out today.

As he turns to find a place to retreat to ride out this vision, a blast manages to slip through his cleverly constructed wall of droids, ricocheting off the durasteel and slamming into the back of his shoulder. He yelps in surprise, crumbling to the dusty ground. As his vision starts to blur he manages to press a code on his commlink and bring it to his face.

"Code Ginger," he rasps. His body goes limp as he hears the faint yelling of troopers running toward him.

"The general is down! Repeat, the gen..."

An explosion ricochets off the side of the mountain, sending Obi-Wan flailing into the open air. An animalistic, shrill shriek echoes off the rocks around him, and it takes a moment for him to realize it is not his own scream but that of a varactyl falling a few meters below him.

Falling. I'm falling! He realizes as the world around him rushes past. Through the wind whistling, he can hear his men yelling.

"The general is down!"

But...

If he isn't mistaken their tone is not one of fear or anxiety, but of celebration.

The general is down.

He's plummeting toward a body of water at an alarming rate. Many times, Obi-Wan has fallen from great heights, so his reaction is automatic. He stretches his arms and legs out, attempting to create as much drag as possible as he tumbles through the air.

But pull in before hitting the water.

Obi-Wan draws the Force around him, cradling his body to slow his descent. He's going too fast to stop himself, but it's enough he could survive this fall.

Probably.

Closer and closer the water comes.

How long have I been falling?

Luckily and unluckily the varactyl hits the water first. The animal, unfortunately, unaided by the cushion of the Force dies with a high-pitched gasp upon impact. He has just a second to feel the sudden blip of Force presence cut out before he pulls his body into a straight line, takes a deep breath, and plummets head-first into the water.

From the surface being broken by his fallen companion and his manipulation of the Force, Obi-Wan opens his eyes to find himself still alive. He is deep in the water, the pressure aching against his head and lungs. Even with his rebreather, which he quickly shoves into his mouth, it will be a slow-going way up to equalize the pressure. Obi-Wan watches sorrowfully as the lifeless green blur of the varactyl sinks into the bottomless abyss below him. Had he fallen below the animal he would most certainly be dead.

I almost died... and how? Cody and the others had the platform secure. The blast had to have come...

Screaming. Bellows of agony echo through his mind in a sudden crescendo of fear. Screams he shouldn't be able to hear so deep underwater if they were coming from the surface, so they must be--

Death. So much of it. It wraps its dark fists around Obi-Wan's throat, and even with the rebreather allowing oxygen into his lungs, he sees dots before his vision. The Force is imploding, writhing as he can physically feel inky darkness staining the delicate tendrils of light.

He kicks as hard as he can, trying to find his way to the surface but everything in him is saying Stop!

Stop.

Rest. Finally, rest.

Panic spreads through him. His head is whirling as pain shoots through it. A shooting pain he hasn't felt since Qui-Gon was killed and their bond was forcibly--

Help us!

Young voices cry in agony, and he feels something irreparable within him shatter as the galaxy cries out with a haunting mourning song. Help us! Save us! He's coming! He's going to kill--

And then silence. Silence so jarring he stops swimming in hopes he will hear anything.

A faraway voice. A woman speaking in hushed tones. "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope." And then she too is silenced.

He feels like he might puke. Or faint. Or just fade into the Force right there.

But the Force wraps around him like a blanket, warming his shivering body and urging him upward. Onward.

You're their only hope.

And so he swims.

Obi-Wan awakes gasping, staring at the burlap roof of the med tent at base camp. He's not underwater. Not falling. The screams turn to the familiar yelling of his troopers, and the occasional echo of blaster fire.

He breaths heavily, letting reality melt back to him... but as it does, involuntary tears well up in his eyes.

__________

Cody was the first to see the general drop. Tucked up near the very front lines, the Jedi curated an impressive pile of clankers and was, per usual, keeping the large bunk of the battle droids occupied. The Commander was already watching him when he saw the Jedi suddenly stiffen and stagger back. Cody has been in enough battles with Kenobi to recognize it's time to send in backup.

"Waxer! Gearshift! With me!" he commands, and the two men fall into formation behind him.

Cody watches in horror as a stray blaster shot smashes into the already-weary general, and he loses sight of General Kenobi beneath his pile of battle droids.

Code Ginger.

The commlink message rings out and Cody curses. He calls in for more cover fire, shifting some of the troops a further distance from General Kenobi to draw the Seppies away.

The three troopers arrive at the fallen general, immediately struck by the wake of carnage Kenobi has left around him. The Jedi are efficient in battle, but it's rare their casualties are so... concentrated. Gearshift nearly trips over the head of a battle droid.

"He's hit," Waxer says, examining the blaster wound. "Superficial."

Cody is suddenly aware that the Jedi's eyes are still open, making his stillness look eerie like a dead man. He tears his glove off and presses his fingers to his pulse point, instant relief at a strong heartbeat beneath his fingers.

"We extract him now. Gearshift, hold this position."

"Taking over the clanker cage, sir," Gearshift says, eagerly planting his long-range rifle on its stand to get some ground-level snipe shots through the gaps of the droid pile.

Waxer jumps to the other side of the man, kicking the fallen clankers out of the way to make room. He squats down and picks up General Kenobi as though he weighs nothing, throwing him limply over his shoulder. Cody grips his blaster, taking a deep breath. He and Waxer nod to one another, and then the lieutenant presses to a stand from his crouch, Cody laying down cover fire as they run back toward the base camp. Other troopers, momentarily pausing to take in the sight of General Kenobi being carried unconscious, jump into action. They join in on the cover, alerting others of the 212th to fill in. Supported by his brothers, Cody turns to focus on his running.

The shift in the attitude of his troopers is palpable. A moment earlier they were immersed in the battle, fighting well and yelling their usual battlefield jokes over the sound of blaster fire. Now, the men fight with a different determination. Their Jedi is down and they have collectively decided their opponents will be swiftly defeated.

Cody feels a pang of pride for his brothers and their quick response, but also mutual worry for their general. He's come to grow attached to the annoyingly reckless Jedi, and though he knows this is mostly Jedi Force stuff going on, he can't help feel concerned seeing his lifeless body.

Cody catches up to Waxer who is breathing heavily with exertion but shows no sign of slowing.

"'t's like Geonosis all over again," he yells.

"Let's hope that's where the similarities end," Cody groans. The dusty terrain of this planet already reminds the commander enough of the Point Rain mission. He doesn't need or want a third Geonosis.

The two troopers burst into the med tent, startling Kix of the 501st. The medic's eyes widen when he sees the general slumped over Waxer's shoulder before narrowing with intensity. "Bed two. What happened?" the no-nonsense trooper asks, grabbing a handful of bacta patches.

Waxer deposits General Kenobi gently on the cot while Cody explains the blaster wound.

"It's a flesh wound, but the general is in the middle of a... Force vision.. thing. He might be unconscious for a while."

Kix looks from General Kenobi to Cody again. He can see the gears in the medic's head turning with this new information. "Damn Jedi Force shit,"  Cody hears him mutter. "Sir, will he need... treatment? For...  that when he wakes up?"

Haar'chak, I didn't think to ask that. General Kenobi gave him a very brief crash-course on Force visions. "Sorry, Kix, I just know it's a Code Ginger."

"Code Ginger?"

"It's the tea Obi-Wan drinks to relieve his post-vision headaches," a new voice rings out through the med tent. Cody, Kix, and Waxer turn to see Skywalker standing with his arms folded in the doorway. "with honey. I came up with it," he adds. General Skywalker thankfully looks untouched beside his robes being quite dusty. "501st is back with reinforcements. Ahsoka is with Rex getting them in position. Looks like the Separatists have already started calling for retreat, though."

Cody nods and looks at Kix. "Do you have any tea on hand?"

"No sir, I'm afraid not."

General Skywalker walks further into the tent, pulling a small pouch from his utility belt. "I have some." He hands it to Cody, and Kix goes to work examining the blaster wound on Kenobi's left shoulder. Without the wall of clones obstructing his view, Cody is vaguely aware that Skywalker has a full view of his master. He watches the young Jedi, thankful he has his bucket on to hide his observations. Skywalker sighs deeply, his fist clenching at his side before relaxing. He is used to seeing General Skywalker worried when his master is injured-- Kix has grown quite comfortable pulling rank when he needs to by this point. But now, he is reacting differently than usual. The Jedi Knight is calmer like he knew something had happened and wasn't at all surprised. Perhaps it's just that he understands this whole Force thing. From how stocked his utility belt is with in-case-of-emergency Obi-Wan Kenobi supplies, this must be a frequent occurrence the commander isn't aware of.

Even so, Skywalker has freaked out over lesser wounds than blaster burns.

Cody stands by him silently for a moment, waiting for further questions about what happened, how Kenobi was shot... but it never comes. Instead, Skywalker turns, looking at him with a hollow expression.

"Thank you, Commander. For pulling him out."

Cody can't imagine a world where he wouldn't run into an active battlefield for his general. The apology catches him off guard. What else would he have done? He nods anyway.

"Of course, General... How long do these usually last?"

"Depends."

For as much as Skywalker talks, he certainly doesn't say much, does he? Cody thinks and then squeezes his eyes shut. Great, I sound like General Kenobi.

"Depends on what, sir?"

"How bad the vision is."

Cody isn't sure if bad is referring to bad like graphic scenes or bad like vivid and lengthy, but he gets the feeling the Jedi knight isn't in the mood to elaborate either way. He excuses himself to go find Rex and end this battle once and for all.

_________

Obi-Wan's quarters feel small. He lays in bed, staring at the ceiling with no intention of falling asleep anytime soon.

He's vomited twice. It worried Kix, but he convinced him to let him sleep in his quarters anyway. That he would return if he vomited again, though there is nothing in Obi-Wan's stomach that could possibly force its way up now.

Somehow, he still feels like he's falling. Like he'll hit the water at any moment now. He tried to meditate on these potent feelings clouding his mind, but every time he closes his eyes he hears the cries of agony and the horrible feeling of death tear through him like a damn lightsaber.

Obi-Wan curls onto his side, pressing his shins against the wall of his bunk. He tells himself the usual list:

1. The future is constantly changing.

2. His vision is not guaranteed to come true.

3. None of it was real.

He tells himself this despite the fact his visions come true more often than not. He was a padawan when he experienced their horrific landing at Point Rain decades before it happened. He was a youngling when he saw himself fighting amongst the Young on Melida/Daan. Both times there were these moments when reality collided with the dreams he had spent months trying to get out of his head. It was a strange sensation. Like he'd been there before, and knew exactly what was coming. (His vision did give him the foresight to bite down on something as Trapper set his dislocated leg back in its socket when that moment came around again.)

And there were many others. Somehow his visions have the convenient quality of not providing him enough context to stop the horrible consequences. He doesn't realize he's in the future he foretold until it is his present.

This terrifies him.

He doesn't know who is in agony or why. Where even is he? How did he fall? Why is he their only hope? His anxiety is peaking and attempts to quell it are not working. Obi-Wan draws his shields in, feeling the unanswered questions swirl about his mind.

Then there's a knock. Before he can say anything or even move, his door is opening.

"Master?"

He lets out a deep breath that betrays him, quivering with emotion. And then Anakin is beside him, a hand on his bicep gently rolling him from his side so he can see his face.

"Master Obi-Wan!"

"Anakin," Obi-Wan says, acting as though he woke him up though it is obvious that is not the case, "what are you doing here? Did you have a bad dream?"

"I--" the young knight looks conflicted. Tired and conflicted. "No, I-I wanted to check on you."

Obi-Wan pushes himself to a sitting position. "Well the bacta did its job, so my shoulder is quite alright."

Anakin swallows hard, sitting down on the edge of the bunk. "That isn't what I mean, and you know it."

"My vision?"

He nods.

"Well, it wasn't anything too crazy. Actually, it was quite unevent--"

"Don't do that," Anakin huffs. "I know what you're doing."

"And what exactly am I doing, padawan?"

"Bullshitting me!"

"Anakin langua--"

"It's bullshit, Obi-Wan and you know it," he crosses his arms over his chest. Obi-Wan half-expects him to storm out, but instead, his face softens. He's getting better at controlling his anger at least. "I had a bad feeling about today. Before the battle. The Force was trying to tell me something," he looks up at Obi-Wan. "Warning me about you."

Obi-Wan leans forward, placing a hand over his former padawan's. Anakin only slightly leans into the touch, still maintaining his hardened expression.

"It was only a blaster shot. Cody and Waxer were on top of it, and as for the vision I managed to use the code to--"

"I also felt you on the battlefield," Anakin interrupts (again), and Obi-Wan feels everything around him freeze. He is always on top of his shielding for visions-- has been since he was a young child. Sure, he's been tired lately but that shouldn't be an excuse to project. Unless...

"The blaster injury... might have compromised the hold on my shields," Obi-Wan says quietly, looking down at his lap. "Did Ahsoka feel my projections too?"

"She was shielded. I made sure once I started to feel it." Obi-Wan feels Anakin's hands on either of his shoulders. He looks up to see him staring at him with blue eyes full of worry and concern. "But master, I... I felt what you were feeling. How you reacted to that vision, and..." he looks away a moment, taking a breath. "it nearly made me lose my lunch in the middle of battle, and I couldn't even see it... What happened?"

For the second time today, Obi-Wan feels tears welling up in his eyes. Partially at the guilt for putting his former padawan through such an ordeal, and partially because the voices are screaming again, and he is afraid that maybe this isn't reality as he thought. He reaches up and wraps his hand around Anakin's wrist, feeling his flesh against his own and a heartbeat beneath his fingertips. Real... Real, this is real. Anakin is here and he is real.

"Honestly," Obi-Wan whispers, "I don't know what happened. I just felt... everything around me... the entire galaxy become shroud in darkness and death." he looks into Anakin's eyes, trying to make sure he believes that he is telling the truth. "So many-so many dying. So many in pain... it was horrible."

And then he's being pulled against Anakin's chest, Obi-Wan's face against his shoulder, and the knight's arms wrapping tightly around him. Obi-Wan shakes, weeks of exhaustion, and a day of battle, injury, and diving far too deep into the Force catching up to him all at once. The last time he cried in front of his padawan must have been after Qui-Gon's death, and even on that day Anakin wrapped his nine-year-old arms around him and hugged him tightly. Over ten years have elapsed since that time, yet he half-expects to open his eyes and find himself back on Naboo.

Anakin holds him until his body stops quivering and his tears run dry. And when he pulls away he sees silent tears running down the knight's own face.

"I won't let it come true," Anakin says softly, shaking his head.

"You know we don't have control of these things. As much as we would like to."

"I'm the Chosen One, though," he says, swallowing hard. "I am supposed to bring balance. I won't let darkness win, Obi-Wan. I won't."

He's speechless, only able to nod along with the young man that is unraveling before him. This is exactly why he picks and chooses what visions to share. He doesn't want Anakin to carry the guilt.

The future is constantly changing.

My vision is not guaranteed to come true.

None of it was real.

Anakin falls asleep curled in a ball at the end of Obi-Wan's bunk. He grabs his cloak and spreads it over him before slipping under his covers. With his legs pulled up to his chest, they both fit in the bunk. He doesn't mind the position.

The future is constantly changing.

My vision is not guaranteed to come true.

None of it was real.

He finally drifts to a dreamless sleep.

By morning, Anakin is gone from his quarters. He wonders if it was actually all a dream, but from his cloak unceremoniously bundled on the floor, he knows it all happened. Obi-Wan gets dressed and tidies his hair. As he finishes, he stops in front of his refresher mirror, gripping the edges of the sink as his reflection stares back at him.

Visions have been a part of Obi-Wan's life for thirty years. He's had bad ones before-- arguably worse in content. He can handle this one and move forward. He always does. He must. There are people relying on him. Battles to plan and execute. The war rages on no matter if he is having a nervous breakdown over a nightmare, so he might as well muster on.

Are you General Kenobi or Master Kenobi?

Somehow he sees neither. He looks in the mirror and sees only Obi-Wan Kenobi. Tired, weary, shaken by the events of the previous day.

That won't do.  

General Kenobi would throw himself into the next campaign. Distract himself until the screams fade to the back of his mind.

So he leaves his quarters, heading for the mess to grab a cup of caffeinated tea and some breakfast. He greets his men, assuring them that he is alright and they did a fantastic job in the battle. He sits next to Ahsoka and tries to ignore the pity smile Anakin is giving him.

"So," Obi-Wan turns to the young Togruta, the corner of his mouth twitching into a smirk. "What was the final tally on battle droids?"

Her eyes widen and flicker to her master before a wide grin crosses her face. "Sixty-eight."

"What!" Anakin bellows. "You did not get more than me again."

"You dipped early, Skyguy, not my fault."

"I was at the med tent, all the one's after don't--

"I suppose--" Obi-Wan interrupts, shaking his head at the two, "when I see Master Mundi I will have to inform him his record has been broken."

The table erupts in cries of protest from Anakin claiming a recount and Ahsoka rubbing in her victory. These two have much to learn. But as the knight and his padawan quarrel, Rex and Waxer slide down from the other end of the table, both of them holding back smiles.

"Seventy-four," Rex says, making Anakin and Ahoksa's heads turn in shock.

"Rex what! You got seventy-four battle droids?" Ahsoka says in awe.

"No, sirs," Waxer nods his head in Obi-Wan's direction. "Master Kenobi did."

That is enough to set off the other two Jedi over logistics of whether or not Obi-Wan should even be considered as part of the competition when he was the one making fun of them for it in the first place, and the troopers into fits of amusement. Obi-Wan lets them have their fun, sipping on his tea and letting the warmth of the drink and the moment spread through him.

The voices of his vision are still there. A constant reminder that no amount of his padawans' yelling at one another will allow him to forget the cold that spread through his every cell. In this instance, maybe the General Kenobi approach isn't enough.

Master Kenobi would meditate over these lingering feelings. Perhaps after breakfast, he will feed on this positive energy and take the morning to release his anxieties to the Force.

Maybe, being a little bit of both will help.

He just won't be Obi-Wan. Not right now, at least.

[capricornus-rex]

Someone Left to Save (5)

Cal Kestis x Reader

Requested by Anon

Summary: The Mantis crew arrives to the capital of Ulfin, in the planet of Pevera, under siege. They meet the local rebel cell spearheaded by the former Republic admiral, Jax Beneb, who seeks to destroy the Empire’s occupation that was aggressively imposed upon while exploiting the planet of its natural resources. A plan is devised to destroy the Imperial’s main base of operations—as well as their influence—in the planet; however, it was a do-or-die mission that you and Cal had gotten yourselves caught in.

A/N: I’m so sorry it took way longer than it should :((( Work got me close to a burnout and my laptop’s sometimes a lil bitch ;-; I should pick up the pick soon, but thank you for still reading this fic! I really appreciate it ❤

Tags: Force-Sensitive! Reader, Inquisitor! Reader, Jedi! Reader, Fake Death, Jedi turned Inquisitor, Seduction to the Dark Side, Turn to the Dark Side, The Dark Side of the Force, Aftermath of Torture, Torture, Psychological Torture, Redemption Arc! Reader, Possible Redemption, Premonitions | Trigger warning: Graphic bodily descriptions

Also in AO3

Chapters: 1 – 2 – 3 | Previous: Part 4 | Next: Part 6 | Masterlist

5 of ?

Cal reluctantly left the structure with his companions. Throughout the entire exit, the Jedi never spoke a word, Larki and Morzen could do nothing but glance at him every once in a while until they mounted their speeders again.

Not even BD-1 himself could get a response from his owner.

Throughout their exit from the structure, Cal spoke nothing. Larki and Morzen could only catch a glimpse of the Jedi, neither of them can say something of value to him—perhaps nothing at all. The three of them mounted their speeders and without even waiting for the two, Cal revs up the engine of his bike and sped out. Fortunately, Larki was able to catch up as soon as his own speeder sputtered to life.

The small search party returned to the temple ruins, as they were told by Cere via comlink in the middle of their drive. Cal’s entrance rattled some of the rebels loitering within the ruins’ vicinity, Cere included; when she saw that the headcount remained the same as they left, her heart sank to the pit of her stomach.

“Cal, where is [Y/N]?”

Silence. Cal’s eyes drooped, avoiding eye contact with Cere.

“Cal, where is [Y/N]?” Cere spoke through her clenched teeth while her fists shook with a confusion of anger, worry, and fear.

“T-This…” Cal stammered, unfolding his fingers to show the bracelet to Cere, which she instantly recognizes to be yours.

“That’s all they found?” the woman’s voice cracked.

Cere covered her gaping mouth with trembling hands, in full shock of the discovery, and her breathing became shaky. Her hands fell to her chest, as if her heart’s about to burst through her ribcage. Eventually, Merrin and Greez were drawn to the scene, quickly, the Nightsister spotted the trinket in Cal’s hand; she held her gasp and her eyebrows furrowed, she brought her hands to her mouth but they stopped at her chest.

Greez worriedly uttered your name.

Cal was given time to be alone. He stayed in one of the chambers of the temple that served as a sleeping quarters. For the rest of the day, Cal was exempted from strategy conferences by the grace of the empathetic Jax. The grief-stricken Jedi never let go of your bracelet, however, he was unresponsive even to the little boy staring at him as he sits on the floor in the far corner of the room.

BD-1 chirps and beeps from time to time, trying to fish a word out of Cal, but he would speak very little.

“She’s not gone, BD… I know it. So, why don’t they believe me? They look like they don’t,” Cal’s eyes trailed, aligning it with BD who’s nestled on the space between his crossed legs. “I’m not crazy, aren’t I?”

The little droid shook its head in reply, BD-1 nudged your bracelet with his head’s visor, followed by a sad, long beep that faded out. The hours felt like only minutes to the boy, he leaned his head against the cold, cobblestone wall and eventually dozed off.

That night, Cere personally went to the Cal’s room with a tray of food. Cal has lost track of the time that he didn’t wake in time for dinner. It was BD-1 who sensed Cere coming into the room, a quiet chirp emitted from the droid, and the woman carefully walked into his bedroom to set the tray down on a podium. Even upon her presence, Cal didn’t wake up; Cere’s eyes wandered to his open hand, one cord of the bracelet dangles out of his palm. She took a deep sigh and didn’t bother waking up to remind him to eat.

“Keep an eye out for him, BD, please…” she softly pleaded and then left. “And tell him to eat when he wakes.”

A good chunk of minutes passed after she left the room and Cal finally wakes. He blinks several times until his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room in the moonless night; the first thing he notices is the power lamp sitting next to his futon built from straw, animal hide, and mismatched pieces of cloth sewn together.

“Hey, BD… dozed for a long time, haven’t I?”

“Boo!” BD nodded and then gestured to the tray that Cere had left.

Cal’s stomach ferociously growled when his nostrils flared upon picking up the scent of the food—albeit having gone cold for a time. The rations weren’t exactly a culinary art, neither was it a cuisine, but it was enough to sate an empty stomach—the adrenaline from earlier had dulled Cal of his senses and awareness of the goings-on in his body, only then was he starting to realize just how hungry he is.

Cere had sneakily doubled the servings for each food type she’s prepared for Cal: three scoops of Lemus corn, a bowl of bone broth nearly filled to the brim, and two turkey drumsticks—instead of one as imposed by Jax to conserve rations per headcount.

“Looks like the fighters must’ve looted the Imps’ storehouse, huh?”

“Woo!”

The Jedi scrambled towards the food and helped himself, however, he didn’t exactly scarf down whatever’s on the platter. He only ate what he wanted and had some leftovers. He dismissed it and returned the tray on the podium.

—–

The Inquisitors, Seventh Sister and Fifth Brother, charted a course to one of the Imperial medical outposts and also their satellite fortress—a smaller likeness of their stronghold like that of the one in Nur—in Mons Golotha, a moon situated in the Outer Rim.

“We are bound to Mons Golotha in T-Minus 35 minutes, Seventh Sister,” reported the command ship’s admiral.

“Good, have them prepare a medical capsule for the bodies we’ve recovered—for immediate transfer.”

The admiral bowed in compliance and returned to overseeing the cadets on their computers.

The pair strode in exit of the bridge and to the command ship’s cramped medical bay. The Fifth Brother sensed the Mirialan’s thoughts dwelling on you.

“What’s on your mind, Sister?”

“The girl’s an intriguing subject. She’s going to be very busy in her interrogation when she wakes,”

“If she wakes,” reiterated the Fifth Brother.

There was silence between them as they marched through the corridors. Crew members avoid eye contact as much as possible from the Inquisitors in any way doable—tipping the rims of their uniform caps downwards so their eyes are obscured, others would maintain eye contact while speaking even though they caught the Seventh Sister giving them a passing glance when she entered their periphery.

The pair didn’t mind their fear of them, it was insignificant of them to pick up every single thought and feeling flooding this corridor.

Upon their arrival to the moon, Mons Golotha, they were instantly given confirmation to land and instructed whoever’s capable to transfer the patients from the medical bay to the shuttle for their descent to the surface. A couple of medical specialists assigned in the medbay helped in settling both you and the Second Brother in your own medical capsules, the 2-1B medical droid meticulously configured the control panels of both pods to the optimum setting for each one’s survival from the descent until the complete transfer.

From one medical specialist to another, you and the Second Brother were handed over. While being escorted to your rooms, the doctors and nurses were performing their SOPs in bringing in emergency patients.

“Both of them are in a vegetative state, but he’s in a more critical state. I want an operating table prepped for him and a Bacta tank filled to the brim—infused with antibiotics for his second to third degree burns. This surgery is strongly required pre-Bacta treatment.” Barked one of the doctors who led the way while the Inquisitor pair flanked them.

“The girl’s vitals are stable. I have a heartbeat! Blood pressure is low though, she’s suffering from minor concussions and burns,” diagnosed a second doctor who stood close to your own gurney. “Prepare a Bacta tank for her as well, infuse it with a mild painkiller and antibiotics for her burns so they won’t infect and blister.”

The nurses rushed to comply with the doctors’ orders. Your doctor was astounded with your body’s physical resilience, he wagered it was your fight-or-flight response or your self-preservation instincts despite lying down on the brink of unconsciousness—seconds before the Fifth Brother picked you up and spotted you. He may have not seen what happened to you, but he was sure that you were a fighter—perhaps even more of a fighter than the Second Brother, dare he thinks!

“Alright now, you little darling, let’s get you patched up.”

The female nurses strip you off of your soiled and scorched clothes, washed off the grime and soot that stuck to your skin and face, and attached the apparatus necessary for your body before submerging you to the vat of Bacta.

“How long will they be submerged?” asked the Fifth Brother to the Second Brother’s attending physician.

“That depends on their case, really. In his case, since he’s the most severely injured, it may take him weeks to recover fully—better if he regains consciousness in the middle of his treatment,”

“And…” the gray humanoids jerks his head to you in the tank. “What of her?”

“Well, evidently, her wounds are less fatal compared to the other patient. However, we are detecting some signs of internal bleeding. Recovery may take weeks as well, but perhaps it’ll be shorter for her.”

“Will she have regained her strength when she wakes up?” the Mirialan interjected.

“All of that will be determined on the amount of time she’ll use for rest and recovery,”

The Mirialan hummed and dismissed herself to the doctors. She contacted the Grand Inquisitors in private, reporting the diagnoses of the doctors for both you and the Second Brother, and your involvement with the rebel cell that they’ve encountered in Pevera.

“We found one of the Jedi helping the rebels, m’lord,” reported the Seventh Sister. “But she’s still being taken care of here.”

“Good, let her body relish the remainder of her days where she will not yet feel any pain and anguish,” the Grand Inquisitor snarled through the small hologram projection on the Seventh Sister’s holodisk. “She will answer to us the moment she opens her eyes.”

“The girl is a survivor—a better one than the Second Brother, he didn’t have it easy. I sense something in her, something familiar,”

“Oh? How intriguing,” the Grand Inquisitor took the bait. “I should like to hear what you have to say about this girl, Seventh Sister.”

“Yes, m’lord,”

“See to it that she recovers in her treatment, she has a lot to answer for us,” the Grand Inquisitor added before his hologram fizzled out.

The doctors and their companion medical droids worked on the Second Brother’s surgery meticulously and tirelessly. They picked up a pulse from him and then began their procedure. It was a gruesome image, even for the droids.

For one, a large patch of burnt flesh stands out from the Second Brother’s scarred, olive skin. It covered his left shoulder down to the left half of his torso. Shards and portions of his clothing—both the undershirt and the armor plates—have melted and stuck to his skin, tools were required to separate debris from the flesh. A string of viscous pus connected the removed shrapnel and his blistering, black and red skin. Bodily fluids oozed out from every orifice conceivable on his wounds—throughout the operation, he’s partially conscious, flinching on particular moments where the droids would prod their syringes and quite-delicate mandibles on his skin.

“I sense his hate, even in his dormant state,” the Fifth Brother commented as they watch the operation.

“Likewise. Last I heard, these two were fighting. I’m certain he’ll be most hostile towards her,”

“I checked the database,” the Fifth Brother huffed, and a curious Seventh Sister craned her head to face him. “I found her in the records: [Y/N] [L/N]. Another Jedi survivor, in hiding until she apparently joined the rebels with the other Jedi—Cere Junda and Cal Kestis—and then the Second Brother engaged her while trying to infiltrate the stronghold with the rebels.”

“They’re all the same,” the Mirialan scoffed.

The Inquisitors watched the doctors do their work until the surgeons have finished their job on the Second Brothers and then he was dropped into the tank. The two of you were being observed by the Seventh Sister and Fifth Brother, she watched the two of you bobbing in the liquid substance like apples in a bucket.

“Doctor, do whatever it takes to speed up the girl’s recovery period. We want her conscious as soon as possible,”

“B-But… Seventh Sister, we haven’t even carefully observed her wounds and their fatalities on her body!”

“Unless you want to be the one strapped to the Imperial torture chair, I suggest you do your job faster,”

“Y-Yes… m-madam.”

The Fifth Brother has gotten the hint of the Seventh Sister’s other plans for you. He’s been sensing it running in her mind ever since.

“Do you think she’ll get the Grand Inquisitor’s attention—even Lord Vader?”

The Mirialan girl turned to the gray humanoid, having to tilt her head back to emphasize their height difference, she smirked.

“I don’t doubt it,”

“And if she refuses?”

The smirked retained. Seventh Sister seemed to be amused to answer his question.

“Well, I think we can persuade her,” she pans her head to your tank: sections of hair floating about like soft tendrils, closed eyes yet bursting with life the open they shoot open, and a weakened spirit that she perceives as a blank slate. “One way or another.”

[misseffect]

VIDEO GAME TAG

Me: gets tagged

Also me: immediately forgets every video game i've ever played

Thanks to @thealexmachina for this - it made me think about games I haven't thought about in years! Tagging @shepgarrus @zaeedmassanis & @garriante (but only if you fancy it).

Games

First game you ever played: oh boy, probably Monsters Inc on GBA. I'm a woman of culture, you see.

Favorite game: LoZ: Twilight Princess. It was the first game I'd played with a story that utterly hooked me. And my first LoZ title.

Game you’ve played through multiple times: Lego Star Wars. BF is making me watch the prequels atm and I keep recognising rooms from the games. If they just smash up those chairs they'll get some studs and an extra heart.

Game you hated at first but now love: Shadow of Mordor. Hate is a strong word. Didn't care for it initially and it's not normally my type, but it was actually a lot of fun.

Game you used to love but now hate: Okami. It's beautiful and the mechanics are cool, but there's this stupid fucking digging mini game that I just cannot beat. Non-optional mini games can eat my whole ass. I put it down last year in a rage and never picked it back up.

Your favorite game atmosphere/setting(s): RDR2. Rockstar's worldbuilding is second to none - the dialogue, the locations, the horses, the little bits of lore scattered through the world for you to find. Stunning. Very close second goes to BotW because the peaceful post-apocalypse vibe is really refreshing. And it also has horses.

A game with your favorite ending: LA Noire. Sometimes shit's broken and people are difficult and the bad guys get away with it, and there's nothing you can do about it but god damnit do we we try anyway. That final sequence in the sewers was some high-octane shit.

A game with the WORST ending: obligatory Mass Effect 3. Otherwise, Skyrim because it just never fucking ends. 100+hrs in and you're a Dragonborn Arch-Mage Dark Brotherhood assassin vampire Nightingale warewolf who could kill a Giant with a sneeze but half the quests are broken so you can't bloody finish anything properly.

Best character customization?: New Horizons. Fight me.

Hero and Companions

Your favorite playable character: FemShep, obviously. Corvo from Dishonoured is also very cool.

The funniest playable character: ooh that's a tough one. Arthur from RDR2 doesn't get enough credit imo. He's a funny dude.

Your favorite companion(s): Midna from Twilight Princess. The bit after the water temple where she gets hurt you have to take her to Hyrule Castle in the dark and the rain? Yeah. Honourable mention to Wrex from ME and Bekowsky from LA Noire. We only get them both as actual companions really briefly which a shame.

Companions you could live without: Thane. Sorry buddy, I just didn't care about you at all.

Relationships

Favorite game friendship(s): Arthur and Lenny from RDR2. FemShep and Ashley are hugely underrated in the fandom imo - there's a scene in the Citadel DLC where you both get hammered and start a bar fight. Just gals bein dudes. Also Phoenix and Maya from the Ace Attorney series for the 10/10 sibling dynamic and found family wholesomeness.

Favorite game relationship(s): Shepard and Garrus because I'm always a slut for relationships built on a foundation of mutual trust and respect. Also the one in Transistor. You know the one.

Favorite companion banter: gotta be the OG Mass Effect alien squad - Garrus, Wrex, Tali and Liara. I love how their interactions evolve through the games.

A relationship you weren’t sure of but loved: Alistair and the Warden. They got off on the wrong foot initially in my first Origins play-through but he's a sweetheart really.

A minor character you wish could be a companion: every Star Wars game should have a Gonk Droid companion option and that's the tea.

A character you wish you COULD romance: Morrigan. You expect me to believe the swamp witch is straight? Please.

Fun

Shoutout to a random NPC: ISAAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SONOFABITCH IN SPACE.

A game you love watching playthroughs for and want to play: the Uncharted series. I'd give anything for a PC port, Sony. ANYTHING.

Love watching playthroughs but won’t ever play: literally any horror game. Until Dawn, Dead Space, etc. But even then I never watch them full screen and usually only have one headphone on.

Online gaming or solo?: Solo. The only online game I really play is GTA V because I don't have friends.

Why do you play video games?: I don't read a lot at the moment so they get me my fiction fix, and games like Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley are thereputic. And I just think they're neat.

[itsomgitsgreenblogging]

Re-sublimity: A Critical Role Fanfic

I swear, I was just planning on writing a few small fics for @shadowgast-week. I swear. And then, this happened and I basically shoved all of the prompts into one gigantic fic, which will have to have a second chapter...at least. I do this to myself. So essentially...this is a Jupiter Ascending inspired fic. 

...enjoy!

Read on AO3

Preview: 

>Journey Log #105

>Entered Intergalactic Standard Time 23:04 

>Order: Read Transcript

Dear Traveler, 

You should have seen me today! We dealt with what Fjord calls a “clusterfuck” with no problem! It was space pirates, you know, like Avantika except these ones weren’t cultists to a Deep Space Snake thingy. Yasha said we should call them bandits, but I remember you telling me that all crime in space is actually piracy because space counts as international waters. So I’m going to call them space pirates, okay! I was able to channel your energy through my STAFF, and do some serious damage. Caduceus is getting pretty good with his STAFF, you know, he was still using an actual wood staff to channel the Wildmom’s energy when we first met him. The techno-staffs are so much easier to use, and I’m excited about showing him how to update his later just like you showed me.  

But the funny thing about these space pirates were that they were kobolds! Caleb said that kobolds originate from a planet called Darastrixhurthi, which was really hard for him to pronounce. I took a guess at how to spell it here, hopefully I did it right. He had never heard of them piloting a spacecraft before, but their ships were these super duper rinky dink ships that Fjord said they most likely stole from the nearby planet and fixed up to be barely space-worthy. I’m sure you’ve seen kobolds before, but they were so cute, even though they were stupid and still tried to shoot us down after we gave them food. Anyways, Nott’s getting really good with her vibro-crossbow, and Beau’s lightning punches really saved the day. And you should have seen Yasha, she just about cleaved a ship in two with her vibro-sword! But I promise, I made sure to give them food and tuck in a statue of you as we scared them off. I’m trying to give something just as you always teach me. 

It was too bad about Frumpkin getting punted, but Caleb said he could fix him up again once we get to the nearest planet. Everyone said that because we saw the kobolds and passed by Darastrixhurthi, we’ll be reaching the Xhorhas System within two days, so long as we don’t have any more run-ins with trouble. I really hope we don’t because this has been the longest we’ve journeyed without stopping and I’m getting reaaaaaal bored. It’s so much easier when we have a hyperdrive that actually works to, you know, space travel! But I don’t really want to explode or anything. I’ll find something to do for the two days, besides rewatching my holo-dramas. Maybe I’ll have Caduceus teach me how to use the wand that I picked up on that planet with the fish-people. 

As always, I hope I can see you sometime soon when you aren’t too busy. Please look out for Mama, and my friends, and me. 

Bye!!!

[Record, included below is an image of kobolds wearing funny hats and flying on ships shaped like dicks]

 >Postscript 1, Added by Captain Fjord: Jester, I'm begging you, please stop putting dick drawings in the official journey log. We have to turn these in at port sometimes. 

>Postscript 2, Added by First Mate Beauregard: Oh come on, Captain. These are so fucking dry, I’m sure people would find it entertaining. 

>Postscript 3, Added by Nott the Brave: I personally think that kobold on the far right needs a bigger hat. 

>Postscript 4, Added by Jester Lavorre: >:D

>Postscript 5, Added by Navigator Caleb Widogast: It’s 24:00

>Postscript 6, Added by Nott the Brace: ...your people did this to my people.  

>Postscript 7, Added by Caduceus Clay: Imjuhbdwpqidnamap

>Postscript 8, Added by Yasha Nydoorin: I don’t think Caduceus meant to enter that. 

>Postscript 9, Added by Captain Fjord: No, he told me he meant to ask Jester to please call the Wildmother by her name if she can...you know the Wildmother. Alright everyone, go to sleep. We’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow. 

The solar system of Xhorhas was the place where the Kryn Dynasty had been born, a rising power that’s influence was only dampered by the ever expanding reach of the Dwendalian Empire. When the starship SS Balleater docked on the planet of Asarius, two things were made extremely clear. First, based on the look that the officers gave their ship, they were a bit worse for wear. Second, they took bureaucracy to a whole other level here. They had been waiting in a long twisting line at the Customs office for exactly two hours and twenty seven minutes, in darkened rooms only slightly illuminated by low green lights. It had frayed on all of their nerves, to be honest. The Mighty Nein had never done well with long waits, and tended to get into trouble when they weren’t doing something of pressing importance at every moment. The past twenty days of deep space travel without a functioning hyperdrive had made that extremely clear. To make matters worse, Caleb was sore over the loss of Frumpkin, who had been kicked to shit by one of the kobolds who had managed to board the ship. Familiars, or animal companion droids, could be hard to maintain but he would be able to repair him, as long as he could acquire the necessary parts.  

 Caleb was relieved when their crew reached the front of the line, and came face to face with an overworked and obviously underpaid Kryn officer who looked at them all like she was awaiting her last breath. She was drow, an alien species that was related to the elves that had colonized so many planets during the first space expansion. However, unlike the other species of elves, they were originally an earth-dwelling species. Their coloration was dark and their sensitivity to light kept everything dim in the official buildings like the one they were currently in.   

“Welcome to the planet of Assarius, is this your first time entering the Xhorhas system?” the officer asked, her voice dull and bored. 

“Yeah, it is,” Beauregard said, not sounding impressed by this officer’s obvious existential crisis. 

“Very well, then you will have to undergo the registration process. I will need to prick your finger and gather a blood sample, and ask you a few questions so we can complete the registration questionnaire. Denial of this means you will not have access to the Xhorhas System and we will have to ask you to leave immediately.” 

“So...we all have to register our DNA to get anything here?” Beauregard demanded of the Kryn officer behind the glass, who looked like she wanted nothing more than to slide the glass closed on Beauregard’s face. “Isn’t that...like...extortion or something?” 

“Clearly you are not from around here,” the Kryn officer said pointing to the sign above the desk...written unhelpfully in the language of their culture. None of them spoke it, and with a quick type into his wristband STAFF he was about to cast Comprehend Languages for a translation when she seemed exasperated by their quietness and did the translating for them. “What you need is a Kryn certified Identification and Navigation Aid, or INAV, which you utilize to transfer credits and license your spacecraft. You only receive an INAV once you have registered with our offices, and to be registered you have your DNA filed with us. Not only is this process used to prove the legitimacy of our monarchs and members of our dens, but also, yes, to prove you are who you say you are when you are paying for goods and services. Unless you want to give blood every time you go to buy food, you get an INAV.”   

“How do we know you aren’t using our DNA for shady shit,” Nott asked suspiciously. 

“Lady, I just work here,” the Kryn official snapped, motioning to the ever expanding line of annoyed and tired travelers behind them. “Either let me do my damn job here or leave the solar system.” 

“Let’s not make her life more difficult than need be,” Fjord said as he held out his hand. She put a device like a heart-rate monitor on his finger and Fjord flinched as it made a small “psst” sound. She clicked the device back into the desk, and typed something into her computer. “My name is Fjord.”

“Last name?”

“Tough,” Nott supplied, and Fjord gave her a long look. 

“Tusktooth!” Jester chirped. 

“Just Fjord,” Fjord clarified. 

“Planet of origin?”

“Nicodranas.” 

“Business here in the Kryn Dynasty?”

“Ship repairs, and mercenary work.” 

“Take two steps to the left and maintain a neutral expression.”

Fjord did as she said, and a picture was taken. The woman tapped her screen, and a confirmation ding was made. Out popped a drive that was about the size of Caleb’s index finger. She demonstrated how it extended and a tiny holographic image of Fjord’s face and his basic information as well as the genetic marker appeared. It was then handed off. 

“Alright, next,” the officer said, voice somehow more clipped than it had been moments before. They went down the line, Caleb taking up the rear as they did. He wasn’t excited for this at all...after all the last thing he needed was more traces of him where the Empire could find him. But sometimes you had to take a risk, after all, it would be far more suspicious to tap out of the process here surrounded by Kryn officers. 

Caleb held out his hand and felt the pinch of a needle before it was retracted. 

“Name?” 

“Caleb Widogast.” 

“Planet of origin?” 

“Outer territory Rex-33, Settlement BLU-MENTHAL.” 

“Business here in the Kryn Dynasty?” 

“Mercenary work and droid repair,” he said, showing her the currently out of commission Frumpkin who was in his side-satchel.  

“Take two steps to the left and maintain a neutral expression.”

Caleb did so, and heard the sound of the picture being snapped. However after she tapped something into her screen there was a different noise. An obvious alert noise that had him immediately tense up. The officer stared at her screen for a moment, then back at Caleb and then back at her screen...clearly doing a double take. Before anyone could move, she waved at a senior officer behind her. He was a tall bugbear, and made a strangely funny picture as he leaned over the small drow. He frowned. 

“I’m sorry, sir. Can you check this? I must have entered something in wrong,” the officer said, her voice confused...but not angry or suspicious as she pointed to something on the screen. The senior officer looked at what she was pointing at and then popped out the INAV and extended it, inspecting the genetic code. He double checked it with the screen, seemed content with whatever he saw, and he exited out from the glass door separating the officers and the lines. 

“No, that’s correct. Nothing wrong with the intake,” the senior officer said before addressing Caleb and inspecting him closely. “Sir, have you ever registered DNA with our system before?”

“No, I’ve never been to this system before.”

“And how old are you?” 

“I’m 33 according to the Intergalactic Universal Standard Calendar,” Caleb said, frowning. 

“Human, right?” 

“I would be.” 

“Yeah, Minryna, that sample was catalogued approximately 850 years ago. There’s no way it’s been accidentally re-entered. It’s legit,” another senior officer called back to the one inspecting Caleb. Other clerks had stopped what they were doing and had gathered around the screen, and Caleb felt the pinprick of a thousand eyes behind him and a rising tide of whispers. 

“Well, Luxon bless me,” whistled the officer before looking at Caleb. “I guess it’s someone’s lucky day isn’t it?” 

“Lucky day?” Beauregard asked incredulously. 

“Forgive me for the long wait. Congratulations on your Recurrence,” the officer said holding out his hand. Caleb, numbly, took it and let it be shook before the officer opened the INAV and signed the bottom with his finger. It glowed a silver color, as opposed to the blue of the others. 

“Recurrence?” Caleb asked, feeling more and more confused by the moment. 

“Follow me,” the officer said, and the whispers behind him grew louder. Officers moved out to seperate them from the obviously curious crowd. 

“My friends…”

“Of course you may bring them as well. We’ll make sure your ship is taken care of post haste, we’ll probably need to take off from here within an hour..” 

“Wait where the hell are we going?” Beau demanded as they all walked. 

“Why are you saying congratulations?” Nott asked as they all entered an elevator, and the officer punched the 110th floor. It was traveling up at a dizzying speed, totally glass so you could see the work on each platform as they rose. 

“Genetics carry a sacred connotation in our society,” the officer explained. “I’m sure you have heard of our practice of consecution...of the soul being reborn through the power of the Luxon Beacon. However every person is unique. In the vastness of space and time it is of course possible for a genetic code to be reproduced exactly. We consider that to be a true rebirth, a Recurrence.” 

“So...my genetic code has occurred once before?” Caleb asked. This was far less incriminating then he had feared, but also that idea was terrifying on so many levels. He could barely handle himself...the idea that there had been another one of him running around at one point was dizzying and horrible. Who knows what he had gotten up to, knowing him. 

“Yes,” the officer said simply. 

“And Caleb was someone really cool before?”  Jester asked, sounding excited. “I read a holonovel sort of like this once! Of course the discovery was wayyy sexier but-!” 

“I don’t think this is very sexy,” Yasha said softly. 

“It is neat,” Caduceus said, sounding extremely impressed. 

“So where are we going right now?” Fjord asked, trying to get them all back on track. 

“I am taking you to the upper deck, where they handle Genetic Inquiries. We just get an alert that a Recurrence has occurred and the year of the genetic sample taken of the previous life...in theory that is. We certainly haven’t had any recorded cases of Recurrence within my lifetime. Anyways, they will be able to assist with other questions, including and not limited to who your previous incarnation was, and matters of any titles they may have left you in their will." 

“Wills? Like money?” Nott asked, her interest thoroughly peaked. 

“It’s common to leave parts of your will for a future recurrence, especially amongst the nobility.” 

“This is all strangely morbid,” Caleb said, unable to help the way his mouth quirked. 

“That’s very thoughtful,” Caduceus said with a nod. “We should all be considering our futures and how we would like our affairs put into order.” 

“Of course you are into that,” Fjord said with an incredulous shake of his head, though the look he shared with Caduceus was fond. Caduceus was from a race of aliens who worshiped a nature deity and were essentially stewards of the dead. His interest didn't surprise Caleb in the least. 

They were brought to an empty looking office...well, in comparison to the line they had just been in it was downright barren. A single goblinoid looked at them from behind a desk that was laden with stacks of tablets and papers. Behind her was a seemingly endless sea of files. 

"This is the one?" she asked, looking at Caleb and his flashing silver INAV. She held out her hand and he handed it to her. She opened it, inspected the contents and the signature and then signed it herself before turning to her computer. "Very well, let me just type in this and...here we go. C-12B-Jg73_E05_8." 

She suddenly pushed with her legs and went skating down the hall with her chair. It was attached to the ground glided along easily and then with a tap of a button she was sent up to a second level. The goblinoid tapped in some code, opened a file, retrieved a holodisk, and then with a lever pull she was returned. She plugged the external drive of the holodisk into the computer checking it and reading it quickly. She then reached to plug the holodesk into the INAV. She pointed at a long document that Caleb skimmed before going to the bottom and signing with his finger. 

"Very well, congratulations, my Lord," the goblinoid said. "This highlighted section is the section of the will devoted to you."

Caleb felt the others crowd him as the goblinoid spoke on the com in Undercommon. It didn't truly surprise him to see this script written in Proto-Zemnian. That means the person had been alive Pre-Calamity or at least 800 years ago. It made sense considering talk of 850 years ago. And of course if he did share DNA with someone, it also was somewhat comforting to know it was with another Zemnian. He recognized some of the script, but utilized his techno-magic to translate typing into his STAFF and approving the magical sequence. 

"What does it say?" Jester asked excitedly. 

"He isn't gonna tell us," Beau bemoaned, now officially caught up in the excitement. 

Caleb ignored them and read it out loud. 

"And to my future recurrence, if one should ever appear and claim my title, I leave two things. First, my journal of spellcraft. If you are anything like me I am sure you will find it interesting. Second, I leave my second home on the planet of Rosohna to you if it is still standing. Both can be collected from the arbiter of my will...my…" Caleb nearly choked over the next words. "My beloved. If he still lives." 

"Oh, he lives alright," the goblinoid said as grim looking guards appeared from the side door. "Best of luck with meeting you husband again!" 

-------------

>Personal Log Entry #365242

>Entered Intergalactic Standard Time 01:11

>Order: Record. 

Current success on project RESONANT ECHO has continued, using my STAFF I am capable of pulling a version of myself from a discarded timeline for limited amounts of time. This has been not only thrilling, but also frustrating. They are still limited in what they can accomplish. I may have to go back to traditional spellwork and iron out the details there before attempting again with a STAFF. Sometimes raw mana cannot substitute for good old fashioned components. 

On a more personal note, I have decided to bench my idea of pulling a Resonant Echo of another willing creature for now. Firstly, I have no willing creatures to test this idea on. My solitary nature has thwarted me again, unfortunately. And secondly...I am not sure I could bear the idea of success. I do not care much for the moral quandaries of such matters, and that isn’t what stops me. I only worry that it might put me on a path that is ill-advised for my mental health. The only thing more important than progress is being able to enjoy the fruits of my hard work. I am still my own greatest resource at the end of the day. 

>Postscript: Add obsidian to shopping list, to be delivered to my personal address. Order for the delivery service to leave the package with TOWER. 

>Completed transcription, would you like to save, override, or delete this file? 

>Order: Save. 

-------------------

Essek Theylss was in the most boring meeting of his whole life. Economics had never been his interest, though of course he understood them. He had been given a thorough education at his Den's hand, and being a long-lived species meant you had time to become knowledgeable in anything you desired. But, as always, he wished to be doing his own research as opposed to attending meetings. 

Just as he was making this wish, the meeting was interrupted by Taskhand Adeen.

"My Queen, forgive me for my interruption," the Taskhand said, as always his face was an impossible to crack study of ice. "But an urgent matter has just occurred, I was just informed of it by the guards. 

"Then speak," the Bright Queen ordered, now sitting at attention. 

"My Queen, it is news of the most importance. Shadowhand," he said suddenly, and Essek was thrown off guard because-him? What had been discovered? What one of his moving parts, his schemes, what-"there has been a Recurrence.  Congratulations, your husband returns." 

"What?" Essek asked as he stood and floated, the words hitting his skin and freezing over like icy rain. His brain, oddly, felt slow on the uptake. It was a thoroughly disorientating and dizzying experience. The words churning in a strange fog and then a rising panic. "I'm sorry, could you...could you repeat that?" 

"There has been a Recurrence of your husband, Shadowhand. He returns now, brought from Asarius. We have genetic confirmation from the Solar System database-" 

Essek knew his levitation dropped because suddenly there was a burst of pain in his knees. It was strange...suddenly he had no strength in his limbs...and his sight was swimming. Recurrence? His husband? No, it couldn't be true. His husband was gone, gone forever. Whoever this was...it wasn't him. It couldn't be him...he was just a stranger wearing his husband's face. Another ghost to torture him, to leave him behind-!

"Essek," a gentle, concerned voice said. "By the Luxon give the boy some room!" 

"Deep breaths," came another voice, echoing in his skull and rattling in his brainstem. "Deep breaths, Essek. In and out."

"Do we need a medbot? Merciful Light! What were you thinking, just springing that on him in public!" The Bright Queen...he knew it was the Bright Queen who chastised Adeen. He was following instructions, breathing in and out, and it was becoming easier to discern who was around him. The lights ceased their strobing, his heart receded from his throat and made it easier to swallow. The one keeping him from melting into the ground was Quana, the Dusk Captain and wife of the Bright Queen. The one coaching him through the essential process of breathing was the Skysybil. He was in the Bright Queen’s throne room. He wasn’t dying. He was having a panic attack. 

"Forgive me for my unsightly display," Essek said breathlessly, trying and failing at pulling himself together, welding the shards of his icy-exterior back where they belonged. This show of weakness...how could he have let himself succumb to that in public regardless of what was happening? There was always time later. 

"This is of course emotional for you," Quana said, with a gentle pat on his shoulder. "Your husband returns. Of course the feeling is overwhelming."  

"It is a joyous thing, a holy occurrence," the Bright Queen said, crossing the room and looking as radiant as a newly born star. "It is no weakness to be overwhelmed by the Divine. The Luxon has seen it fit to return your husband, and to give us all a sign of His favor. You must go and prepare for him, just as we must begin preparations to welcome him." 

The Luxon! As if the Luxon had anything to do with this! It isn't him, Essek wanted to scream. It isn't him! He's gone from my side forever. This stranger...it won't be him. This isn't divine...it's a cruel trick of fate and genetics. It isn't him, it isn't him. 

"Prepare, yes, I...I must prepare," Essek said before nearly fleeing the chamber before anyone could stop him. He must have teleported back, though all he felt was a blur of noise and light and suddenly he was there. Everything felt so strange. Nothing was right anymore. His usual sanctuary had been breached by the abnormal, and all he wanted was to make it stop.  

The hum of his levitation seemed to be the only noise that echoed from the halls of his home as he arrived. He sent the droids that acted as servants away, and slammed the door to the study close and locked it with a wave. For a moment he paused before continuing on in spite of his racing heart. The ocean between him and the desk seemed immense as he crossed it. Opening the locked compartment he removed his husband's will from inside gingerly. 

It has been at least a hundred years since he had looked at it. It was written on parchment...because of course it was, his husband had always been old-fashioned...even back then. He had kept it in a temperature and moisture controlled capsule to prevent decay ever since it had been written. He had memorized every line a long time ago, he was sure, and yet now looking at the last section he paused. The spell book and the summer home and that was it. On paper it was nothing. Hardly a blip on the radar of the vast wealth that Essek commanded at his fingertips. But he would have to give it up...more remnants of his husband that he clung to would disappear from his grasp forever.  

It wasn't fair, Essek thought, breathless with grief as he pulled his husband's spellbook from the same controlled compartment. He held back his tears stubbornly. Essek was unwilling to stain the cover of the well-loved book as he cradled it to his chest. Inside was his husband’s soul, the work that Essek had founded his magic on. This interloper would take from Essek what little he had left that he held sacred.

"Sir, your heart rate is elevated as is the saturation of stress hormones in your blood," TOWER, the AI that ran the home systems reported. The screen of his INAV lighting up the alert for Essek to see. "Are you in need of assistance?" 

"TOWER, what is the rate of Recurrence in the general population?" Essek asked, refusing to answer that question. There was no good answer, after all. Why waste his time? 

"The rate of Recurrence in the general population is one in ten trillion."

"One in ten trillion…" Essek murmured, truly grappling with that statistic for the first time in his life. He had heard that number before of course. Back when he was in school, in his courses meant to educate and indoctrinate him into the faith of the Luxon. But now it seemed so vast, so unlikely. Bards sang songs about this, subscribed entertainment was based on this. And yet somehow it was really happening to him. "And do these Recurrences...when they happen, is it reported that the person is...similar, to their previous incarnation?" 

"Physically identical, however the rate of Recurrence is so low there has not been the opportunity for true scientific studies on the phenomenon, sir. Only anecdotal accounts." 

"Give a general summary of the anecdotal accounts, TOWER,” Essek said with little patience. 

"It is theorized that though the core of a person may be written in genetics, environmental factors such as planet born, levels of sustenance during formative years, chemical and radiation exposure, family structure, socio-economic standing, and other psychological factors and epigenetics will have an effect on the individual. As such, the Recurrence may not be the exact same individual as the previous incarnation." 

"Good," Essek said as he finally drew in a breath. "Good...then this will just be an unpleasant meeting. But who knows? He may not be interested in the book and I'll be able to keep it." 

"Are you unhappy, sir? By my database's reading this is supposed to be a happy event." 

"Of course I am unhappy!" Essek snapped at the AI. "Some...some ghost wearing his face is coming here. A ghost who by sheer dumb luck is given a title to land and my husband's spellbook...and...well...my hand in marriage." 

"Would you consider it better or worse if he was the same as your husband, sir?" 

"Oh by the Nine Hells if I know!" Essek groaned. But he was lying to himself. Of course it would be worse if he was the same. If he was the same...if this ghost truly was his husband...Essek would fall apart at the seams. After all, there wasn't a worse fate than being happy, for all happiness turned to ash and ruin. He had a husband for only ninety years. In the lifespan of his people that was hardly a season, nothing worth fretting over. And yet, he was still so cold at night without him...he still woke some nights, expecting his husband to be beside him.  

Essek wouldn't go through it again. Not again, not ever. He wouldn’t allow it. 

"Contact the Theylss arbiter and have them prepare documentation for an annulment," Essek ordered TOWER as he stood. He looked towards the wide windows, the violet-blue interstellar clouds that shimmered with the radiance of distant stars. His garden called to him, his sanctuary pulled him to it like the indelible force of gravity.  He was one with it...drifting quietly as always. "I would like this to be over and done with quickly." 

Essek was about to say something else when the sound of a call going through interrupted him. He knew who it was without even looking, which is why he didn’t bother to say hello as the voice came through.  

"Essek," his Denmother said, her voice cold and commanding as her image appeared on the screen. "Congratulations. We have much to speak about."

---------------------- 

“What do you think your husband is like?” Jester asked curiously, bouncing in her seat in the flight deck. 

They were currently being escorted to Rosohna by the Echo-Knights, who’s speedy Moorbounder ships kept in tight formation around them. They had had their ship’s general needs repaired in record time, their ship restocked with supplies, and had been told that when they reached Rosohna their ship’s hyperdrive would also be taken care of free of charge. They had actually been offered a completely brand new ship that was so beautiful it had almost made Fjord cry. They had refused it, because as Beauregard pointed out if something was fucked with on their own ship, they would be able to tell easily. For now, considering the results of Nott and Caduceus’ quick investigation, it seemed like everything was fine and in working order. All of this somehow and for a reason that Caleb was still grappling with was due to the fact that Caleb was apparently married. 

“He’s not my husband,” Caleb murmured, arguing for the sake of arguing the point, though his protests sounded weak to his own ears the more he read about Recurrence and the significance it held to Xhorhassian society. 

“According to the laws of this Solar System, yeah, he is,” Beauregard said as she slid the holodisk at him and rotated the image so Caleb could read it. “Right there. Xhorhas General Law, Part 2, Title 3, Chapter 507, Section 258 on the validity of marriage. The clerk shall require written notice of intention of marriage, on forms furnished by the state registrar of vital records and statistics, containing such information as is required by law and also a statement of absence of any legal impediment to the marriage, to be given before such Xhorhassian accredited clerk under oath by both of the parties to the intended marriage. After a marriage is solemnized by an approved Dynasty religion or other official method, the marriage is considered binding until a time when an annulment is performed, see sections 280-320 for specifics. And then I looked down and here, in Section 283 it says, if one party to the marriage dies, the marriage vow is considered null and void and the living party shall receive the benefits given within the will, can apply for a remarriage, and shall be able to file for government aid if needed. However, if a Recurrence is found of the deceased the previous marriage shall be automatically renewed in the system and upheld until the time that both parties file for an annulment.”  

“Congratulations?” Fjord offered weakly. 

“Caleb isn’t married!” Nott half screamed. 

“It sounds like Caleb is married,” Yasha noted.  

“We don’t even know if this guy deserves Caleb!” Nott argued, nearly frothing at the mouth. 

“We are technically married until we file a divorce then,” Caleb clarified, feeling like his stomach was twisting in his belly. He wished desperately he had Frumpkin to hold, but the guards of Assarius hadn’t been able to supply the specialty parts he had needed. He had been told that they would be provided easily by his “husband’s” family.

His mind came back to the concept at hand. Marriage. Caleb wasn’t against the idea of marriage as a social construct. He had once even dreamed of marrying. He had wanted to marry the girl he loved more than anything else in this universe. He had planned to marry her, and die beside her in the name of his King and Empire in the great battles against the evil that threatened the security of that Empire. Of course, things didn’t turn out the way one planned… and apparently he had been married all along.  

“You are going to divorce him?” Jester asked, sounding heartbroken and drawing Caleb from his strange thoughts. “But what if he’s wonderful? What if you love him?”

“I can’t love someone I’ve never met before,” Caleb said, apologetically. 

“In a past life you did though,” Jester said, her pout deadly in its force. “That’s what Recurrence basically is, right? Being reborn.” 

“We would refer to it as reincarnation,” Caduceus added as he appeared with a teapot. He poured a cup for Caleb and gave his shoulder a gentle pat. Caleb accepted it, if only to have something to do with his hands. 

“It is a genetic anomaly,” Caleb argued, motioning at the page he was reading. “I understand that genetics and rebirth are an important aspect of the Dynasty’s religion but it’s just that. It’s just a religious belief. I don’t know this person that shared my DNA, but you wouldn’t assume that if I married someone that person would also be married to my identical twin, right?” 

“You have a twin?” Jester asked, her tail swishing excitedly. 

“I don’t have a twin,” Caleb sighed. 

“Twins don’t count as a Recurrence,” Beau mentioned. “Chapter 436, Section 23.” 

“I don’t...it was just an example. Besides, I’m sure it’s...I’m sure that person’s husband wouldn’t want to be married to me. I am not the person they loved.” 

“It must be painful for them,” Yasha said softly, eyes drawn dark with grief. “But I’m sure they might be grateful too. There isn’t much…”

Yasha trailed off, but Caleb didn’t need to hear the rest. After all, Caleb was also well versed in the language of grief. Yasha was right, there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for the chance to at least glimpse at the faces of the people he had loved the most again. 

"Den Theylss though, I've heard they are a huge deal in these parts," Fjord said quietly, tapping the steering thoughtfully. "They are one of the three most powerful families in the Kryn Dynasty, second only to the Bright Queen's den. When I was running the merchant routes back in the day, the merchant ships that came out here always said that the three dens own thirds of the Dynasty." 

"Maybe you ought to stay married to this dude," Beauregard said seriously. "He's rich. Their family did just totally mostly fix our ship in a day." 

"I want to be kind to him," Caleb said, and left it at that. 

They arrived shortly after. Rosohna was a distant planet, it’s orbit kept it approximately seven years out of the light of the sun and gave it one year with seasons. In space, it showed like a glittering jewel. It was the founding planet of the Kryn Dynasty, where the Bright Queen raised her people from the shadows underground and led them to the space age. As they entered the hemisphere Caleb immediately noticed the brightness of the city that built itself silver into the dark exterior as they landed on the loading dock.  

“Alright folks, gear up, let’s rock and roll,” Fjord said standing up. 

“Aye, aye Captain Tusktooth!” the rest of the crew shouted back, before grabbing the necessities and disembarking off the Balleater. 

They were met immediately by a group of Drow, one of the natural inhabitants of Rosohna. There were all dressed in robes, shaded darkly but with touches of glitter and shimmer, enough to catch the low light. That separated them from the woman who walked before the rest of the group. She was dressed the most exquisitely, in a dress made like it was gathered from violet clouds that moved and shimmered with an almost iridescent quality. Her silver hair was pulled back high on her head, and her ears were decorated with what had to be thousands of credits worth of jewels. 

“You stand before Deirta Theylss, Umavi of Den Theylss,” one of the group said. Fjord immediately bowed, and everyone else followed suit. When Caleb rose from his bow, he saw Deirta’s eyes raking over his face intensely. She was an attractive woman, older in the almost imperceptible way elves aged, but cold and austere. Something about her gaze set him on edge immediately. 

“How fascinating,” she said, reaching out to take Caleb’s chin. She turned him this way and that, and Caleb resisted every instinct in his body that screamed at him to shy away from this woman. He didn’t like looking people in the eye normally. This forced contact made his skin crawl. “It is truly, utterly breathtaking...how much like him you look. An absolutely perfect match if my memory serves. There is no doubt, we have been blessed by a true Recurrence. The Luxon truly shines it’s Light upon us and our den on this day.” 

She released him and folded her hands in her sleeves. Caleb could feel the rest of the Mighty Nein draw close to him, a semi-circle of protection that grounded him the present and kept him from scratching the skin off his arms. 

“It has been...a lot for a day and a half,” Caleb admitted, swallowing nervously. He understood the wariness of the others now. There were eyes on them everywhere, almost all of the movement in the hanger had ceased. 

“I am just happy to welcome my son in law home,” Deirta said with a smile that did not reach her eyes. “There is much we must discuss, of course. But the first order of business is the Reintroduction, the second is the will.” 

“Reintroduction?” Jester asked. 

“Between him and Essek, my son,” Deirta said. Essek. No one had yet said his name to Caleb. Essek Theylss was his husband by law in the Kryn Dynasty, a man that Caleb had never met before. He had the insane urge to speak it out loud, to run the name over his lips, as if that might spark something in him other than crippling anxiety. “This will be followed by the meeting with the Bright Queen tomorrow.”

“The Bright Queen?” Nott and Jester and Fjord and Beau all demanded at once, one with suspicion, one with excitement, and the other two with abject disbelief.

“You all clearly do not appreciate the cultural significance of Recurrence,” Deirta said lightly as they all walked to the transport ship. They were seated in a flying craft, with a large see-through lid that was sent up through a channel and then ported them out to the city itself. For a moment Caleb was too dazzled by the silver city itself, and almost didn’t hear Deirta’s command. “Smile for the cameras.” 

“Cameras?” Caleb asked before nearly yanking his own head back at the sight of the huge holo-screens lining the streets that lit up with their image. There was the sound of cheering audible from even up there. Jester waved manically, as well as Cad and Yasha...a bit more shyly.  

“You, child, are a phenomenon that occurs 1 out of 10 trillion,” Deirta said cooly, though she smiled sweetly for the camera that tracked her wave and the movement of the craft. “And even less likely to be discovered. You demonstrate the most sacred law of our deity, the chance for true rebirth. In such times as these, you are proof of the divine nature of our lives. And as if that were not enough, you are husband to a Theylss. Not just any Theylss either, son of the Umavi, Shadowhand to the Bright Queen, and considered to be one of the great beauties of our people. Any one of them would kill to be in your position." 

“You’re wrong,” Caleb argued as they passed the holo-screens and continued on, towards a castle of silvered metal towering from the ground. “I’m just...I’m just Caleb.” 

A murderer, a fugitive, a crazed lunatic, a self-made orphan, perhaps. But proof of the divine? Only if the divine was looking for a cosmic joke. 

“Perhaps before today,” Deirta said as she looked towards the castle. “Not anymore."

Soon enough they were out of the city proper and into the Firmaments District, as the captain of the ship informed them. The Bright Queen’s Cathedral was a massive castle-ship, currently docked in place and surrounded by the high pearly white walls that separated her and her court from the people of Rosohna. In the district behind were the houses of the other most prominent dens, laid out amongst the maze-like streets like small treasure chests. 

“Your friends shall stay with me in my household as honored guests,” Deirta Theylss ordered as they moved down to street level and moved through the city streets. She turned her seat to face them. “We shall go to your home to meet with your husband.” 

“No! Caleb doesn’t go alone!” Nott argued fiercely, planting herself firmly in front of Deirta as if she were three feet taller. “Either I go with Caleb, or he doesn’t go anywhere.” 

"The same goes for me," Beauregard said, crossing her arms in front of her chest, flexing the muscles there. She made a much more terrifying picture as Yasha sidled up beside her and echoed the same motion. Jester joined with Nott. 

"The Might Nein stays together," Fjord said, placing a hand on Caleb's shoulder, as did Caduceus. 

"Very well, I'm sure Essek will make the appropriate arrangements," Deirta said before turning to the officer who was piloting the transport craft. "Fine, go to Essek's residence." 

"Yes, my lady. Sit down, we'll arrive within a few moments,” the pilot of the transport ship said before closing the hatch and separating Deirta in the Captain's quarters from the Mighty Nein. 

"I don't think I like her," Jester hissed as she plopped down in her seat again and crossed her arms over her chest. "Your mother-in-law is mean." 

"She doesn’t have to be kind, she is an Umavi," Beau grumbled. "That’s like super nobility, but besides that she's a politician first, did you see the way she set us up?" 

Besides just the political boost, there was a more obvious reason now that he thought about it. Of course she wanted his face plastered on every holo-screen in the Dynasty. Now everyone would know his face, Caleb realized. She was far more shrewd then Caleb had given her credit for. If he tried to do something stupid, like escape without a functional hyperdrive in his ship, everyone on this side of the universe would know who he was. Tightening the noose, Caleb thought, his breathing suddenly funny in his throat. 

"This is all very complicated now," Caduceus said worriedly before stopping. "Are you alright, Caleb?" 

"I feel like I'm going to be sick," Caleb admitted, gripping his hands hard to keep them from shaking. 

"Oh no, Caleb," Jester said, immediately taking residence at his side. 

“It’ll be alright,” Nott worried his shirt quietly before gathering his hands in hers. “It’ll be alright. I promise. We’ll find a way to get out of this, I promise.” 

“Thank you, my little friend,” Caleb said weakly, letting Nott press a kiss to his forehead. 

“Let’s be prepared, who knows what could happen,” Fjord said, looking seriously out at the street. 

They arrived at a residence that was really three towers connected by walkways on the ground and above. The towers themselves had a uniquely antique feel in the city so smooth and chrome, built to resemble stone. However in the flickering low lights they revealed a glittering effect. On the top of the tower spun some sort of mechanism that shifted like gears and seemed to be measuring something. Caleb’s curiosity was thoroughly peaked, though, he wasn’t sure that this was the appropriate time to sate his curiosity. 

A servant-droid greeted them at the door to the front tower, bowing before Lady Theylss. She didn’t give the droid a single glance. 

"Where is my son?" Deirta asked shortly, brushing out her skirts though there were no folds or wrinkles to be seen. 

"In the gardens, my Lady," the droid stated. 

"Of course," she sighed tiredly. “Lead us there.” 

They walked through the tower to the walkway between the towers. There was a garden, filled with Glowing Nightblooms, a flower that when blooming cast soft blues and violets and whites into darkness. He had read about them before. They were a staple in the cheap credit a dozen novels he brought from outposts or second hand merchants, but seeing them in person was another. The path led them past crystal statues of geometric shapes that made light fracture into rainbows and painted the air vibrantly. The garden circled a pond, a dark tranquil pool that was so still that it was almost a perfect mirror with the star-filled sky. A single small shrine stood in the middle of it. And there in the center a person standing before the shrine...almost appearing like a ghost as silver incense smoke curled in the air.  

"My son, come and greet your husband," Deirta said. The figure turned from the shrine, he crossed the lake. Caleb had been to the edge of the galaxy itself, and yet he didn’t think he had ever seen a more handsome man before. He was composed of sharp edges and elegant lines, his skin a smooth and peerless dark plum, and his hair perfectly tamed and coiffed. There were no ripples as he moved-no-skimmed across the water’s edge as weightless as fog. He arrived on the stone path, and immediately knelt, expensive dark robes shifting as he did. 

"Welcome home, my beloved," Essek said, bowing deeply enough to press his forehead to his fingers. Geometrical earrings caught the light, as did an impressive, elaborate mantle that was settled upon his neck."I have been awaiting your arrival.”

“Please, lift your head,” Caleb half-begged, feeling flushed and oddly ashamed. He hadn’t done anything to deserve this act of devotion from this complete stranger. 

“I hope you have found everything suitable," Essek said as he continued to bow, pointedly ignoring his request. Caleb could almost sense Deirta gloating from where she stood a few feet behind him. 

"Your home is...it's beautiful," Caleb said, not sure if the words even came out past his panicked choking. 

"It is your home as it is mine, I am happy it pleases you," Essek said as he stood effortlessly, robes swaying as he did so. The silver of his eyes illuminated his face, flecked with pale blue and violet in the shifting light of the pond and flowers. His expression was hard to read, though his mouth curled up in a soft almost-smile. "I am Essek Theylss, son of Deirta Theylss, Shadowhand of the Bright Queen."

"Caleb. Caleb Widogast," Caleb said softly. 

"Caleb," Essek said, something flickering upon the surface and dissipating just as quickly. "And your guests?"

"My friends. The Mighty Nein." 

"TOWER," Essek called, and a screen lit up along the wall. "Make sure the service droids prepare rooms for my husband's friends." 

"Your will shall be done, sir," the AI stated. 

"In your room you shall find both the spellbook and the deed to the home as stated in the will," Essek said, tone businesslike...formal. Caleb wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. Perhaps crying? Screaming? Anger or sadness or grief? And yet Caleb saw none of that as he looked at this stranger. There was only politeness...a cool sort of acceptance. "Both already confirmed by the arbiter and myself. Are you capable of translation or will you need assistance?" 

"Ja, I can," Caleb said lifting his wrist to show his staff. Essek reached out his hand and offered it expectantly...and Caleb did the only thing he could think of and laid his wrist in Essek’s grasp. His touch was cold and fingers soft, and just that was enough to raise goosebumps along his skin. 

“I have never seen this model of a STAFF,” Essek said, inspecting the device, interest sparking in his gaze. It was the first truly genuine thing he had seen from this man who was meant to be his husband, and it soothed something in his heart. Caleb caught a glint of a STAFF upon Essek’s own wrist as well. 

“I...ah...I built it myself,” Caleb admitted. “I could not afford one with the specs I desired, so one has to do what they must.” 

"Then we have that in common, I also built my own staff. You are a techno-mage, I see," Essek said, sounding unsurprised. "Wizard speciality I assume?" 

"I...yes, how did you…?"

"He was the same," Essek said quietly, releasing Caleb’s wrist. Essek didn’t need to say who “he” was, they both knew. Caleb drew it back, and resisted the urge to stroke the place where Essek had touched. His skin still tingled from the touch. “Is there anything else you all required?”

“Ah...my familiar,” Caleb said, opening his satchel to show the limp body of the companion-droid. “I would like to fix him, do you know where I can get the materials?” 

“As you may have noticed, I employ droids heavily. I have droid-repairing materials here, TOWER shall acquire for you whatever you need,” Essek promised. He paused before looking to Deirta. "I am sure you have more you wish to discuss with me, Umavi."

"Yes," she said, without a scrape of anything resembling maternal love or affection. Instead there was only business. 

"Very well, we will speak in my office. I shall take my leave now," Essek said, turning to address them all. "If there is anything you require, you may call for the home AI, TOWER." 

And with that, he drifted past them with the Umavi, leaving them all alone. Caleb felt that he could finally breathe as soon as he was gone. 

“Wow...this is just like that scene in Tusk Love,” Jester said, steepling her fingers and looking starstruck. 

“What part of Tusk Love?” Nott asked curiously. 

“The scene where Genieveve meets her fiance, you know, the one her dad wants her to marry instead of Oskar?” Jester asked. “And the fiance totally tries to seduce her over dinner by giving her that beautiful red dress and the necklace made of lumincrystal?” 

“Oh! I love that part, especially when the fiance put his hand-” Nott started. 

“I don’t think this is like that,” Fjord said, interrupting warily. 

“If anything I don’t think it was horny enough,” Beau complained. “Like...did this guy even like his husband? He sure as fuck didn’t act like it. Like, if I spent two weeks away from the person I loved the most I would be shoving them into the nearest supply closet with me. Imagine hundreds and hundreds of years!” 

“Would you?” Fjord asked incredulously, and Beau elbowed him hard. 

“We all deal with loss in our own ways,” Caduceus said as he looked on at the shrine still settled in the pond like a cloud in the sky. “But he loved his husband...that’s for sure.”

“What makes you say that?” Caleb asked, swallowing in an attempt to wet his tongue.

“Such a fine grave could only be upkept with devotion,” Caduceus said, motioning to the small shrine. And as Caleb watched the single curl of white smoke still rising from the incense, carved words upon marble meticulously polished he realized that Caduceus was right. This wasn’t a shrine...it was a grave. “It’s beautiful.” 

 Caleb looked away, unable to quell the ache in his chest. 

------------------

 He spent a good portion of the evening tinkering and repairing Frumpkin with the materials provided. He was unable to explain his relief when the usual start-up menu appeared in their shared link. The feline-droid meowed happily at being reawoken, and spent a long time cuddling up with Caleb and performing his usual therapeutic routines, before settling to be charged. After that he worked on reading over the spellbook that had been given to him, marveling at the notes (trying not to think about the handwriting that was his own from the way he crossed his z’s to the dashes he used for his i’s). The Mighty Nein ate dinner together, with Essek noticeably absent from the halls and rooms. They were given a spread of traditional Xhorhassian cuisine prepared by the servant droids, and Caleb came to the realization that there was not a single living servant in the home. They were all given their own rooms, and set to retire in them. It was decided to play nice...to make the show of gratitude. If there was one constant in almost every culture across the universe, it was to know better than to trample on hospitality given. 

“What do you want to do?” Nott asked him nervously before they separated for bed. 

“I don’t know…” Caleb admitted, scrubbing at his face with his hands as he watched Frumpkin charge. “I get the feeling they aren’t going to let me leave so easily.” 

“They said the hyperdrive would be fixed in seven days. That’s the soonest we’ll be able to escape,” Nott said softly, close enough that any bugs that may have planted in the room wouldn’t have caught it. “Think about it, but don’t worry, you're stuck with me regardless of what you want to do, alright?”

“Alright,” Caleb said, catching Nott’s eyes and smiling. And he tried to sleep...he did. But his mind was racing, and finally he could do nothing but leave the room. He figured a quick walk around would settle him, and did his best to memorize the corridors and stairs and rooms he could enter. All information at this point was power, things he could use to get the upper hand in a game that he felt completely outclassed by. 

Eventually though...he found himself back  in the cloisters...the high arches and beautifully carved pathway to the garden. And he wasn’t alone, as he soon discovered. Essek stood solitary, next to a pillar looking out onto the pond and the grave. The flowers themselves were pale as a moon, glowing with a soft ethereal iridescence that almost seemed to float up to the clouds of violet and amber dust. 

Caleb drew in a breath, and Essek stiffened. A slender dark hand curled against the pillar, but he didn’t move. 

"I'm sorry," came the voice from the figure. The accent was smooth, voice soft and thoughtful. He did not turn, and somehow just that felt more genuine then any words they had exchanged thus far. He sounded exhausted, and so very apologetic...as trapped and frustrated as Caleb did. "I'm sure this all must be very difficult...I know this has been the strangest two days of my life." 

"Ja, I would say so," Caleb said, and watched as the figure cringed. Oh...his voice. It must be the same or at least similar to...to his real husband. "I am the one who should be apologizing...I'm sure this has been harder for you in more ways than I could ever comprehend." 

“If you are as alike as I fear, I would say that isn’t true,” Essek said, the tired tones of his voice biting into Caleb’s skin. “My husband was always an intelligent man...and always managed to surprise me with his inopportune insights. If you are like him...then there is little hope that you wouldn’t understand me...and I’m afraid that’s far more terrifying than the alternative.” 

“All I can do is apologize it seems,” Caleb murmured. “Apologize and hope that you accept that as my truth.” 

For a long moment Essek didn’t respond, and he wondered if this was Essek’s way of asking him to leave. Caleb was about to...to say something when Essek shifted instead. 

"My husband…" Essek started, faltered and then straightened his shoulders, still refusing to look his way. "I can’t explain it, no matter how much I desire to. His love sustained me through so much. He was one of the first humans to voyage to the stars and come to this distant shore. He was brilliant and kind and so much better than me in almost every way. I love him...even so many years after his death...he has been the only one I have ever loved." 

"I do not...I wouldn't ever presume…" Caleb started...but faltered. What could he say to make this better? There were no words he could summon in this language or his mother tongue to even scratch the surface of this situation. Instead his voice petered out, running out of gas. 

“There will be many things asked of you soon,” Essek said, retracting his hand from the pillar and slipping it into his sleeve. “I am just sorry I will not be able to spare you from it...from all of it.”

“What do you mean?”

He turned around, and Caleb’s breath left his lungs. He was as beautiful as the heavens unfurling in the hours of twilight, a single solitary figure against the quiet light. Instead of drawing near, he seemed to recede further into the shadow cast by the pillars. His expression was empty...there was nothing there, simply a reflection. 

“I have been informed there will be no annulment,” he said cooly, as if he were talking about the weather. “We shall have a Vow Exchange and Marriage Ceremony in seven rotation’s time.”

“They would have us married?” Caleb asked in shock. 

“Remarried technically, as by law you are my husband.”

“Do they have no concerns for your feelings?” Caleb asked, suddenly infuriated for Essek’s sake. 

“I have none to be concerned about...not anymore,” Essek said softly as he drifted forward. He didn’t walk, that was certain. Instead he moved as if buoyed in his own gravitational field. “I am a loyal subject to my Queen first, a child of my mother’s den second, a citizen of the Dynasty third, and a person last. I have a duty I must fulfill...and by marrying you, I shall be furthering the aims of my government through the greatest single act of propaganda we have seen since our Queen’s famous speech at the Breach. Though I have nothing to do with that, after all, I have been told that I am living the romance of the millenium. I should be very grateful.”

“Seven rotations?” Caleb echoed. A week, a single week. That was how long it would take for the hyperdrive to be fixed. The same day...of course it had to be the day that he was sure the entire solar system of Xhorhas would be watching him. Nothing could ever be easy...he didn’t deserve that much. 

“If you are planning on escaping...well...I wish you the best of luck,” Essek said with a wry smile, a glint of fang twisting up Caleb’s heart. “I doubt you will get far. My mother has told me that this shall be the single most lavish affair our people have seen since the last marriage between the Bright Queen and the Dusk Captain, and no expense will be spared for things like security.”   

“It isn’t right,” Caleb argued, blood pulsing hot and rapid in his veins. The injustice of it wrenched at his insides. “It isn’t fair, that they should treat you like some...some tool! I-”

Suddenly, Essek crashed right into Caleb’s chest. Hands balled into Caleb’s shirt with bruising force, and he stood there dumbly as Essek pressed his face more firmly to his shoulder and shuddered as if he carried the weight of the whole planet upon his shoulders. 

“It’s not fair,” Essek gasped, voice fracturing into a million pieces. Bitter and desperate and hopeless and overwhelming. “Why does it have to be this way? You even feel like him...smell like him! Please...please stop being kind to me. Push me away...run from me, hurt me. Stop sounding like him! Stop...stop talking like him. I beg of you...I beg of you. If you stay...I won’t be able to let you go again. I’ll do anything I can to stop you. I’ll be cruel, and vicious, and I’ll hurt everyone and anything that gets in my way. That’s the way I am. I am the most selfish creature that ever crawled upon the surface of any planet. So please...abandon me.” 

“You are a victim too,” Caleb said, instinctively wrapping his arms around Essek’s waist. He felt so slender in his arms...so delicate, like he was a shard of the universe...like he would disappear if he held him too long. And despite everything...it felt so right. It was just an illusion, brought on by the stress. He had never held Essek before...but he could almost imagine it with how wonderful it was. “Will you forgive me...for trying to find a way to save us both?” 

“Never,” Essek said, looking up at him. His eyes were silver like the moon-dust freckles that shimmered upon his skin, glittering with tears. “I’ll never forgive you. Just gazing upon you gives me a glimpse of that which I most desire, and even if you are just a shade if you stay I will pursue you. Don’t you understand? I am your greatest enemy. So you must go...you must escape without ever looking back at me.”

“Won’t they hurt you? How could I just leave you?” Caleb demanded. “You are innocent. I won’t damn an innocent again for my sins...never.” 

“Innocent? Ha! Abandon that pride of yours, Light damn it! Why don't you understand? The only thing I can do is protect you from me!"  

"I won't. If I leave you here...like this, what will happen to you?" 

"Nothing I don't deserve after everything I've wrought," he said bitterly, pulling away and leaving his arms so empty and bereft of purpose. "Caleb...I have done everything to deserve this fate, I see that now. This is my punishment, but it is not yours. Escape, Caleb. Escape the Kryn Dynasty. Escape my fate. Escape me. That alone...it will be enough for me for the rest of eternity." 

Essek disappeared into the shadows, leaving Caleb behind. 

[deviant-reads-stuff]

Books I Read Throughout 2020-Part One

For many of us this year has been incredibly stressful and difficult. There were times throughout this year that my mental health had suffered, but there were also times where I couldn't have been happier. If I were to make any comparison to what the year was like, I would say that it was like the scariest and exciting roller coaster that anyone has ever been on. During the year, while the world seemed to burn around us and everything terrible happened, I managed to surpass my reading goal for the year. Something I did not expect to do, especially since I had months where it seemed that I couldn't finish anything. In times like this, I think it's important to take a step back and look to the positive things, even if they are small.

Here I am going to give a brief description of the first 10 books that I read, with a small snippet of what I thought of the books at the time.  

Book One - The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

Finished Reading on January 4, 2020

"It is 1939. Nazi Germany. The country is holding its breath. Death has never been busier, and will be busier still.

By her brother's graveside, Liesel's life is changed when she picks up a single object, partially hidden in the snow. It is The Gravedigger's Handbook, left behind there by accident, and it is her first act of book thievery. So begins a love affair with books and words, as Liesel, with the help of her accordian-playing foster father, learns to read. Soon she is stealing books from Nazi book-burnings, the mayor's wife's library, wherever there are books to be found.

But these are dangerous times. When Liesel's foster family hides a Jew in their basement, Liesel's world is both opened up, and closed down.

In superbly crafted writing that burns with intensity, award-winning author Markus Zusak has given us one of the most enduring stories of our time."

For years I have heard good things about this book and for many, this is an all time favorite. I was excited to pick this one up, especially since I had read

I am the messenger

by this author and loved it.  While I do not view this book as an all time favorite for myself, I do think it was beautifully written. I just personally wished that it was a bit shorter at times as it seemed to drag on. Despite feeling that it was a little long, my favorite part of this book was the role in which Death plays. I won't mention anything more in case some of you are still contemplating picking this one up.

Book Two - All Systems Red (The Murderbot Diaries #1) By Martha Wells

Finished Reading on January 5, 2020

"In a corporate-dominated spacefaring future, planetary missions must be approved and supplied by the Company. Exploratory teams are accompanied by Company-supplied security androids, for their own safety.

But in a society where contracts are awarded to the lowest bidder, safety isn't a primary concern.

On a distant planet, a team of scientists are conducting surface tests, shadowed by their Company-supplied 'droid—a self-aware SecUnit that has hacked its own governor module, and refers to itself (though never out loud) as "Murderbot." Scornful of humans, all it really wants is to be left alone long enough to figure out who it is.

But when a neighboring mission goes dark, it's up to the scientists and their Murderbot to get to the truth."

This was a novella that I greatly enjoyed, but unfortunately I have not kept up with the series. I believe my library did not have the rest of the books and at the time I didn't want to purchase them. As my library continues to get the rest of the series, I will gladly continue to read them. I thought the story was unique, and at times funny. I would highly recommend this series to anyone who wants a science fiction book that is quick and easy read.

Book Three - Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them By Newt Scamander

Finished listening to an Audiobook on January 7,2020

"An approved textbook at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry since publication, Newt Scamander's masterpiece has entertained wizarding families through the generations. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is an indispensable introduction to the magical beasts of the Wizarding World. Scamander's years of travel and research have created a tome of unparalleled importance. Some of the beasts will be familiar to readers of the Harry Potter books - the Hippogriff, the Basilisk, the Hungarian Horntail ... Others will surprise even the most ardent amateur Magizoologist. This is an essential companion to the Harry Potter stories, and includes a new foreword from J.K. Rowling (writing as Newt Scamander) and six new beasts!"

I am not one who will usually listen to audio books. I have an incredibly difficult time listening to anything that is over 3 hours because it's hard for me to really concentrate on the storyline. On occasion, though I will listen to them, depending on the length of the title and if the general consensus is that the audiobook is better. Fantastic Beast was a great audio book to listen to when I took my daily walks. I was able to delve a bit deeper into the wizarding world and learn more about the creatures briefly mentioned in Harry Potter.

Now, I do want to briefly bring into attention that I will no longer purchase anything written by JK Rowling. I have always distanced myself from creators as I use books and music to escape, but it has come to my attention that JK Rowling has repeatedly done harm to the trans community. That's not something I agree with or can support in any way shape or form. For those who do continue to purchase and read JK Rowlings work, that is your choice and I will not say anything about it (unless it is actively causing harm here). This is my own personal choice and opinions on JK Rowling.  

Book Four - The Near Witch

Finished Reading on January 9, 2020f

"The Near Witch is only an old story told to frighten children.If the wind calls at night, you must not listen. The wind is lonely, and always looking for company.And there are no strangers in the town of Near.These are the truths that Lexi has heard all her life.

But when an actual stranger-a boy who seems to fade like smoke-appears outside her home on the moor at night, she knows that at least one of these sayings is no longer true.

The next night, the children of Near start disappearing from their beds, and the mysterious boy falls under suspicion. Still, he insists on helping Lexi search for them. Something tells her she can trust him.

As the hunt for the children intensifies, so does Lexi's need to know-about the witch that just might be more than a bedtime story, about the wind that seems to speak through the walls at night, and about the history of this nameless boy.

Part fairy tale, part love story, Victoria Schwab's debut novel is entirely original yet achingly familiar: a song you heard long ago, a whisper carried by the wind, and a dream you won't soon forget."

I am going to be perfectly honest. I will pick up everything that V.E Schwab writes eventually. Including this book, I have read 10 of her books and I have enjoyed every single one of them. The Near Witch is one of V.E Schwab's earlier works that had previously gone out print. Recently, the book has gone back into print and received a cover change. The story takes you to another world with superstitions, magic, and adventures. While it is apparent that this is an early work of V.E Schwab that does not mean that it's not a great book to pick up. This book brought me back to the type of books that I read when I was younger and it was an overall great experience.

Book Five - How's Moving Castle By Diana Wynne Jones

Finished Reading on January 12, 2020

"Sophie has the great misfortune of being the eldest of three daughters, destined to fail miserably should she ever leave home to seek her fate. But when she unwittingly attracts the ire of the Witch of the Waste, Sophie finds herself under a horrid spell that transforms her into an old lady. Her only chance at breaking it lies in the ever-moving castle in the hills: the Wizard Howl's castle.

To untangle the enchantment, Sophie must handle the heartless Howl, strike a bargain with a fire demon, and meet the Witch of the Waste head-on. Along the way, she discovers that there's far more to Howl—and herself—than first meets the eye."

Howl's Moving Castle is probably one of my favorite stories of all time. I first watched the animated film by Studio Ghibli. In all honesty, I have a hard time determining which version is my favorite. The movie and novel do have some differences, but I think both can be enjoyed. Howl's Moving Castle shows how the pressures placed upon us and how we view ourselves can have a negative impact on ourselves, but only if we let it. Sophie struggles with being eldest daughter, and struggles with seeing her worth, but as the story progresses, we see how resilient and strong she is.

Book Six - Bird Box By Josh Malerman

Finished Reading on January 21, 2020

"Something is out there, something terrifying that must not be seen. One glimpse of it, and a person is driven to deadly violence. No one knows what it is or where it came from.

Five years after it began, a handful of scattered survivors remains, including Malorie and her two young children. Living in an abandoned house near the river, she has dreamed of fleeing to a place where they might be safe. Now that the boy and girl are four, it's time to go, but the journey ahead will be terrifying: twenty miles downriver in a rowboat—blindfolded—with nothing to rely on but her wits and the children's trained ears. One wrong choice and they will die. Something is following them all the while, but is it man, animal, or monster?"

I had originally watched the Netflix movie before listening to the audio book. I was curious about the book as I noticed a lot of people was divided on whether or not the movie was better than the book. Although I thought the audio book was great, I definitely enjoyed the movie more. Normally this is never the case, but I thought the book was adapted well onto the screen. What are your thoughts on it? Was the movie better than the book?

Book Seven - Skyward By Brandon Sanderson

Finished Reading on January 25, 2020

"Defeated, crushed, and driven almost to extinction, the remnants of the human race are trapped on a planet that is constantly attacked by mysterious alien starfighters. Spensa, a teenage girl living among them, longs to be a pilot. When she discovers the wreckage of an ancient ship, she realizes this dream might be possible—assuming she can repair the ship, navigate flight school, and (perhaps most importantly) persuade the strange machine to help her. Because this ship, uniquely, appears to have a soul."

Skyward was the first Bandon Sanderson book that I've ever picked up, shocking I know. I was not disappointed at all. Skyward brought me out this world and I found myself rooting for the girl who fought for everything that she's ever had. If you haven't picked this ne up yet, what are you waiting for?

Book Eight - The Name of the Wind By Patrick Rothfuss

Finished Reading on January 30, 2020

"My name is Kvothe.I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day. I have talked to Gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep. You may have heard of me.

So begins a tale unequaled in fantasy literature--the story of a hero told in his own voice. It is a tale of sorrow, a tale of survival, a tale of one man's search for meaning in his universe, and how that search, and the indomitable will that drove it, gave birth to a legend."

I first read this book in 2015 and picked it up again earlier in the year. I personally feel like I enjoyed the book more the second time around. It's a lengthy and often slow story of a man telling the story of his life. I have often described this book as having a similar ambiance to The Lord of The Rings and Harry Potter. Don't get me wrong though, this is a completely different story of those two series, but I couldn't help but draw a comparison.

Book Nine - Red, White, and Blue By Casey McQuiston

 Finished Reading on February 15, 2020

"First Son Alex Claremont-Diaz is the closest thing to a prince this side of the Atlantic. With his intrepid sister and the Veep’s genius granddaughter, they’re the White House Trio, a beautiful millennial marketing strategy for his mother, President Ellen Claremont. International socialite duties do have downsides—namely, when photos of a confrontation with his longtime nemesis Prince Henry at a royal wedding leak to the tabloids and threaten American/British relations.

The plan for damage control: staging a fake friendship between the First Son and the Prince. Alex is busy enough handling his mother’s bloodthirsty opponents and his own political ambitions without an uptight royal slowing him down. But beneath Henry’s Prince Charming veneer, there’s a soft-hearted eccentric with a dry sense of humor and more than one ghost haunting him.

As President Claremont kicks off her reelection bid, Alex finds himself hurtling into a secret relationship with Henry that could derail the campaign and upend two nations. And Henry throws everything into question for Alex, an impulsive, charming guy who thought he knew everything: What is worth the sacrifice? How do you do all the good you can do? And, most importantly, how will history remember you?"

I needed something lighter and easy to read after The Name of the Wind. Red, White, and  Blue did not disappoint, and I was whisked into the life of Alex Claremont-Diaz and Prince Henry. This LGBTQ+ book is full of entertainment, self-discovery, drama, and love.

Book Ten - Cress (The Lunar Chronicles, #3)

Finished Reading on February 17, 2020

"In this third book in the Lunar Chronicles, Cinder and Captain Thorne are fugitives on the run, now with Scarlet and Wolf in tow. Together, they're plotting to overthrow Queen Levana and her army.

Their best hope lies with Cress, a girl imprisoned on a satellite since childhood who's only ever had her netscreens as company. All that screen time has made Cress an excellent hacker. Unfortunately, she's just received orders from Levana to track down Cinder and her handsome accomplice.

When a daring rescue of Cress goes awry, the group is separated. Cress finally has her freedom, but it comes at a higher price. Meanwhile, Queen Levana will let nothing prevent her marriage to Emperor Kai. Cress, Scarlet, and Cinder may not have signed up to save the world, but they may be the only hope the world has."

The Lunar Chronicals is a guilty pleasure of mine. Each book in the series is a re-telling of famous fairy tales. Cress, the third book of the Lunar Chronicals, is a sci-fi/ fantasy re-telling of Rapunzel. While each book follows a different fairy tale, the whole series comes together and forms an epic story. As we follow a shy young girl, who spent her life locked away from everyone suddenly get swept into the resistance, we learn that hope is always possible even in hopeless situations.

[mochalorian]

Star Wars Fic Recs

For intezaarlily 

I wanted to share some fics that I really enjoy from this fandom. I didn’t include every fic by the same author, because the list was getting pretty long already, but I highly recommend checking them out because they’ve also written some other great stories. (Listed alphabetically, because I’m that kind of person.)

Poe/Finn

Echo Base: Redux by stitchy (E)

A Finn/Poe fic inspired by 'Empire Strikes Back'- particularly, the classic Han/Leia miscommunication~

"Come on, you want me to stay because of the way you feel about me!"

"Yes, you're a great help to us, you're a natural leader!"

first comes the night by coffeeinallcaps (E) 

He doesn’t get nightmares. He doesn’t dream about the mask, the cries of the villagers, waking up in the desert with a blinding headache and his mouth filled with blood and the man who’d saved him gone, most likely dead.

Instead, he just can’t sleep.

get drunk on the good life by magnetic wave (G)

Finn is on the mend, technically.

hope by venusianbouquet 

Poe flies, Rey studies with Luke, and Finn studies with Leia.

If I Had Wings by boldlygoingnowherefast

Finn knows he is a Guide, but he isn't sure what that means until he meets Poe Dameron. Suddenly, everything he thought he knew about himself changes, and he is thrown into a world where meeting your soulmate is one of the most important things to ever happen to you. Finn doesn't know what it's like to truly belong, but when he meets Poe, the dashing Sentinel pilot of the Resistance, he will learn the feeling of belonging, and much, much more.

last stop on this highway by augustbird (E)

Home is a strange place.

legacy by mardia (G)

A long time ago, Luke Skywalker had a son. For seven wonderful months, he was a father to a small, wonderful baby boy with tiny brown fingers and his mother’s nose and dark eyes.

my feet won’t touch the ground by plinys (M)

With the Resistance base moving away from D'Qar and his recovery not yet complete, Finn is left feeling like a bit of a lost end. That is until Poe arrives with a solution, taking Finn with him as he returns home to Yavin 4, for the first time in a long while.

Names for the Stars by cheesethesecond (G)

In the aftermath of Starkiller, Poe struggles with a certain amount of inertia. Various droids, generals, and Resistance members struggle to talk some sense into him. And it all circles back to the struggles of an ex-stormtrooper, who doesn’t seem to realize the ways in which he’s knocked Poe off his axis.

not all those who wander are lost by cosmicocean (T)

Finn keeps finding his family in unexpected places.

A Finn Skywalker story.

Sehnsucht by jiokra (M)

Phasma issues to the FN unit refurbished datapads plundered from a demolished Resistance base, which have been refilled with First Order propaganda. Naturally, FN-2187’s datapad malfunctions and resets to its original settings. Before FN-2187 can properly panic over this, a message is sent to him by a Resistance fighter under the code name Black Leader. It’s one simple word: “Status?”

FN-2187 wakes up to the orders of committing coldblooded murder and falls asleep to the despair of the dead. He’s one step away from messing up and getting reconditioned. When Black Leader asks how he’s doing, even if the question isn’t intended for him, FN-2187 can’t help himself.

He replies, “Alive.”

Slant Rhyme by imaginary_golux (G)

Ideally, there'd have been a pilot. But there isn't, and FN-2187 still needs to get the hell out of the First Order.

That Kind of Story by nomsy (M)

After the destruction of Starkiller Base, Poe didn't really know where this thing with Finn was going. He wanted to find out, though. He just needed Finn to wake up. And everybody else to mind their own business.

The Bearer of Good Food by anonymous (G)

The last thing the Resistance thought they were getting in Finn was a decent chef, but Finn’s been cooking for his squad since he was small. He doesn’t mind cooking for his new friends — especially since Resistance cuisine is pretty damn awful. There's also the fact that Finn never really had a place to fit in when he was a Stormtrooper, and his journey to finding a place to fit with the Resistance.

Or alternatively — five times Finn cooked for other people, and one time other people cooked for him.

The Care and Feeding of Mammalian Companion Animals by ineptshieldmaid (T)

Today’s new and alarming development involves Poe Dameron. Poe has a… a companion animal. A tooka. It is male, its fur is mottled yellow and brown, and it has very fluffy fur and great big eyes. It curls up in Poe’s arms, or drapes itself over Poe’s shoulders, in an apparently friendly manner, but Finn has looked up its species in the databanks: it is a predator.

The Future Prince by Starmaple (T)

During a diplomatic mission, Poe and Finn find Finn's homeworld... and discover he is a long-lost kidnapped prince.

The Shortest Distance Between Two Points by LaVoileBlanche (G)

"Poe’s heart is a swollen thing in his chest, and at any moment he feels liable to pull Finn in for a kiss, but all he does is smile."

Another utterly unoriginal, "Poe and Finn fall in love on D'Qar" fic.

Walking Each Other Home by Xela (E)

The First Order, cut off from the Empire’s endless supply of clones and given the relative expense of actually raising their cannon fodder from childhood, has been experimenting.

“His name is Finn,” Poe says, voice quiet. “He is a person, not a medical mystery for you to solve. So get your shit together, figure out how to help him, and then wake him up.”

Poe/Finn/Rey

Fonder by disco_vendetta (G)

“For you,” she mumbles, cheeks going pink, and shoves something into his hand.

“Oh, hey, you don’t have to give me anything —“ he starts, looking down, then blinks a few times at his open palm.

“It’s a rock,” she adds unnecessarily.

Rey/Jessika Pava

full bloom by seventhswan (T)

Rey isn’t sure that anyone really loves anyone else on Jakku. She isn’t sure it’s possible to let your guard down that far in a place that wants to swallow you up, scorch you, starve you. Love makes you soft, exposes the guttable parts of you. It wouldn’t be safe to love anyone. Nobody would be stupid enough.

Han/Leia

no one can stop me, not even gravity or nasa by magneticwave (G)

“Fuck you,” Leia says. “Who said anything about getting married? Did Luke say anything about getting married?”

“Luke is not involved,” Luke says, not looking up.

“Hey, Luke is not involved,” Han says, pointing at her. She’s going to bite his finger off, then they’ll see how much pointing he can do with it. “This is about you and me, princess.”

“There’s not going to be a you and me,” Leia says. “I’m going to have this baby with C-3PO.”

C-3PO says, “Madam,” tremulous.

Han/Luke

The Sun in Your Eyes and Starlight in Your Hair by victoriousscarf (T)

Han agreed to help Luke find what he could of the Jedi because the war was over and running away with Luke sounded better than running away by himself.

Still the cats were something he hadn't expected.

Cassian/Jyn

to ashes and stardust wandering_scavenger 

'He is handsome when he isn’t scowling.' She thinks, feeling his nose brush against hers when he shifts ever closer to her. Their eyes remain open—watching each other—memorising their features through the outline of shadows.

This. She has never felt.

A look into the mind of the rebel girl who had lived a life on her own, and had given it willingly at the side of a man she should have hated.

Qui Gon/Obi Wan

Backwards by Valmouth (G)

They do this the wrong way round. First, they start with a padawan...

[orcinusorca1617]

Favorite Star Wars Fics

REBELCAPTAIN

Floating, Sinking shuofthewind

Somewhere in her is the sinking feeling that they weren't supposed to survive.

[In which they all live, in a manner of speaking, and they keep going, in spite of the odds.]

[Post-Rogue One. Runs through A New Hope. Eventual Rebelcaptain.]

whetstone shuofthewind

They're finished with their first mission. Now it's just the matter of downtime.

[Part of the floating, sinking universe. Mostly just fluff.]

Restless jenniferjun1per

Jyn needs to sleep, but she can't seem to get comfortable.

You Still Are leralynne

The scar zigzags down her side, puckered white along the ridges of her ribs. Cassian’s fingers still the first time they brush over it. With her head on his chest, she can feel his intake of breath.

A Long Pause leralynne

“Be quiet!” Jyn hisses. “I hear something!” Cassian stills. And then slowly, very slowly, he lifts his lips from Jyn’s collarbone.

slowly, and then all at once caramelle

It's probably sheer stubbornness, Cassian thinks wryly.

Even so, it doesn't mean he's just going to leave her like that.

Or, the one where Jyn has a habit of falling asleep around the apartment, and Cassian develops a habit of carrying her back to bed, because he's a Gentleman, and a Good Friend.

There For You guineapiggie

They reach Yavin IV and Jyn has every intention to lock herself in the room they've given her and not come out ever again. However, someone strongly disagrees with that plan.

flight lessons ignitesthestars

“One hundred percent of the crashes I have experienced involved you, Jyn Erso.” K2 informs her pleasantly. “Given that no other flight experience I've been involved in has experienced an abrupt descent, I can only conclude that you - oh. You're bleeding.

Or, Jyn is slightly impaled and Cassian sees to her wound. Emotions are had.

Won't You Let Us Wander (series) angel_deux

Cassian came back for her. Again and again. After Scarif, that complicates things for Jyn, who's used to running | 13 part series.

Cuddling for Warmth leralynne

“Jyn is shivering,” K2 observes, with the kind of bland indifference only possible when one is a droid incapable of experiencing just how goddamn freezing this planet is.

Bloody Little Worms Kobo

Jyn Erso is accustomed to being jolted awake. Saw Gerrera shaking her awake at every hour of the night, keeping her on her toes; the rough shift from hyperspace to realspace rattling the frame of a ship; Imperial guards smacking their batons against iron bars; nightmares, images of her father’s last breath or the echoing smack of Cassian’s back against steel bars: Jyn is accustomed to those.

A white hot grip on her lungs? This marks the first time she’s awoken to that.

Closer muggleindenial28

"They don’t speak on the way down.

They don’t acknowledge the distant shrill screams of TIE Fighters and X-Wings outside.

They don’t think about how they’re not going to get out in time."

They make it off Scarif, but not without scars.

like real people do mollivanders

“I have an idea,” she says, mind whirling as she steps towards the room. “We need a reason to be here like this.” He follows close behind her and she can practically feel the tension washing over him. In contrast, the plan forming in her mind has provided her with a calm clarity. He closes the door behind them before she props it ajar/

They need to be caught.

Beach House lyresandlasers

“Never say I don’t support you,” Jyn lifted his head into her lap, cradled in crossed legs.

cover me, i'll cover you mollivanders

“Are you hurt?” he asks blindly, reaching for her only to snatch his fingers back as she lurches away. He forgets she’s like a feral animal when she’s injured, used to being the only person having her back. “Let me see,” he says, trying to force authority and calm into his voice, both to reassure her and take control of the situation.

Inside, he’s anything but.

I hear the revolution rebsrising

The babble sounds through the baby monitor, soft and quiet, but enough to wake two well-trained soldiers still adjusting to the safety of peace.

Bodhi's Perspective rebsrising

It’s a simple scene - and that’s what strikes Bodhi the most. They kiss like they’re going to do it everyday for the rest of their lives. And he hopes, not for the first time, that they have the chance.

We Can Turn Over and Start Again kyrdwyn

After Scarif, Jyn starts over, with a new mission, and an unexpected friend.

Fifteen Days clashofqueens

It's hard to hold on to a happy ending during a war, and in the final days of the Rebellion, Jyn might lose hers.

Lay Down My Shields katsumi

Jyn comes down with a strange reaction to a foreign plant, but it doesn't seem like a big enough deal to bother anyone with. That is, until she faints in the middle of the hallway.

Run to Me in the Rising Dawn katsumi

Jyn has never had anyone stick around before. The battle is over now, but the war rages on and Jyn is already preparing for the day when she loses Cassian, too. (She doesn't realize he's terrified of the exact same thing.)

the quiet we hold ithacas

After Scarif, Cassian wakes up broken. He and Jyn learn to fix each other.

We Should laurie2000ann

Jyn could have died trying to save Cassian and he’s pretty angry about it.

Let's Give 'Em Something to Talk About astoriamalfoys

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asks her, a wry smile twisting his lips. Jyn ducks her head. “Nightmares or the medicine?”

It’s meant to be an easy conversation, but she says, “I was worried about you,” and his heart stutters to a staccato instead.

Han x Leia captainkitten

Important Thing of Awesomeness™ meets Dumpster Fire of a Human Being™

REYLO

we could plant a house, we could build a tree Like_A_Dove

Ben takes a deep breath. “It’s—it’s a project. Conceptual art. You wouldn’t get it.”

Rey presses her lips together to keep from laughing. She plans her next words quickly and carefully, determining what will get her the best reaction. “Really? Looks like you ruined a bedsheet to me.”

His reaction does not disappoint. “Get out.”

Parenthood (series) pontmercy44

What to expect when you're expecting the child of a rich, womanizing, alcoholic, unredeemable asshole? And what to do when the unexpected, improbable, irrational happens?

What She's Worth g_girl143

After being sent to train under his uncle in the Jedi academy, Ben Solo meets a youngling girl who would change the course of his life. An alternative universe companion fic for Claudia Gray's "Bloodline" novel. A scenario in which Ben Solo and Rey are fellow students of Luke's Jedi Academy and the events that led to the birth of Kylo Ren.

A Proposal by Any Other Name LucidLucy

Rey and Finn have been A Thing for a long time now. Since she was eighteen, to be exact. When Finn leaves on a trip to Europe for six months for work, Rey finally chases after him to Dublin to do what he seems to be putting off: propose. | Leap Year AU

If You Trust What's in Your Heart (What Better Can You Do) TheJGatsby

After the war, Rey likes to savor the peace on her own sometimes. Then she's not alone anymore.

Black Gloves, Orange Soup Solia

While the dwindling Rebellion starves, awaiting their chance to attack a First Order supply vessel, Rey is trying to keep busy repairing the lightsaber. As luck would have it, her Force-bonded rival Kylo Ren is knowledgeable on the subject and keen to help, but he is also very... distracting.

A Good Fall ohwise1ne

Ben Solo refuses to take a stunt double and pays the price when he breaks his leg filming his latest action blockbuster. His new physical therapist, Rey Sanders, seems to be the only person in Hollywood who doesn’t recognize the infamous Kylo Ren – and for some reason, he finds himself fighting to keep it that way.

A Royal Mistake reyofdarkness

Ben Solo (aka The Playboy Prince): Prince of Alderaan and tabloid sensation, never seen with the same girl twice.

Rey: Mechanic, blissfully unaware of Ben Solo's very existence.

Until Paige recruits her for a night servicing the Met Gala, host to a diverse class of guests, including royalty. It is there that a chance encounter gets Rey caught up in a pair of pretty eyes and a charming personality that she knows she should stay far, far away from. The universe, however, seems to have other plans. Hot Tip: Don’t look up your crush’s sex tape.

The End of a String Silvershine

A bridge still exists between the Supreme Leader of the First Order and the rebel known as Rey. As the connection winds tighter, the line between enemy and friend continues to blur, and Rey's loyalties are called into question. A force bond can bring companionship and support, but it's not without its dangers... or delights.

No Ill Will Castiloar

His face set into a resigned expression before tapping his phone with a final flourish, sending whatever excuse he made. She almost jumped when he squarely met her gaze. “Me? Your hostage? I’d almost think you like having me here.” Even with the congestion he managed to drop his voice low enough to make the quip weigh heavy.

variations on a theme of you disasterisms

"Who knows?" Luke darted a faint smile at Ben and Rey as they stewed in silence and disbelief. "The two of you might even learn to get along. Right, Leia?"

"Like a house on fire," the General deadpanned. "Complete with screams, flames, and people running for safety."

"Indeed." Luke's blue eyes twinkled. "There may be no survivors."

As Hard As I Try... KKetura

When her friends find out about her force bond with Kylo Ren, Rey finds herself more alone than ever. But in her forced solitude, she slowly discovers a better understanding of herself and the man to whom she's inextricably linked.

lying restless (as the dawn comes near) TheJGatsby

They have a tradition for nightmares.

you gotta stop doing that semi-hiatus

She caught herself right before the words ‘you gotta stop doing that’ slipped from her lips, saving her from having the explain why she randomly started talking to herself in the hallway.

Why Her? Aramenialys

Just one last battle. One. Then they can be done and put everything behind them. That was the plan. Then it's smashed to bits, and Kylo has to figure out how to come back from tragedy and form a new one. A short drabble/oneshot about Rey dying and (redeemed) Kylo learning to cope.

Quiet issueswithjedipedagogy

He wasn’t sleeping. She had caught sight of him in the darkness, blinking awake to the strange vacuum the bond created around her; the quiet focus on two souls that seemed to make everything else fall away.

Soft Things catmusing

Kylo Ren wakes up aboard a familiar and yet unknown ship. His body aches and it hurts to remember but there is Rey of light.

Aphelion ambiguously

Stranded on a barren planet together, Rey and Kylo Ren have only each other to help them survive.

Vulnerability and Soft Hair smallenoughtofit

After two years with the Resistance, Kylo Ren still lacks any real security or relationships outside of his tenuous whatever-this-is with Rey. And Rey still wonders what his hair feels like.

the remedy is the experience (i won't worry my life away) TheJGatsby

Rey gets sick, and she isn't very good at letting people look after her.

Proper Sleep tearoomsaloon

Much to her frustration, Rey can no longer properly sleep unless she's snuggled between Ben's glorious pecs

ad infinitum hyperphonic

for the prompt: Rey and Kylo telling Leia, Rey is pregnant. Leia had no clue.

any way you want it thegoodlannister

rey helps ben begin to work through the process of making decisions - even really simple ones - for himself. rehabilitation is a slow process in the aftermath of the mess snoke has spent three decades making of ben's mind.

It Will Come Back ReyloTrashCompactor

“Honey, don’t feed it. It will come back”

A Series of Firsts Tandy

Ben (or is it Ren?) and Rey sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love and then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage.

A story told in firsts.

Dark Prism whythokylo (OpalElephant)

Rey awakens again, except this time it's to a life she can't recall with a man she only knows as her enemy. My attempt at a long form, dark AU. (Formerly titled Aphelion)

A Few Small Repairs TourmalineGreen

Rey buried her face in her blankets. She wasn’t crying. She wasn’t going to allow herself to feel anything. Rain was just water, and so were tears. It would all dry, in time. The storm would pass, and then she’d keep going. That’s how it always had been, and that’s how it was going to be.

She would be alright, after this. She would find a way, find something…

what ails you thegoodlannister

or: three times ben solo was sick and one time kylo ren was. unabashed reylo and even more unabashed hurt/comfort.

100 Ways to Say I Love You AquaWolfGirl

Taken from a list on Tumblr of 100 Ways To Say I Love You, 100 little oneshots leading up to Valentine's Day.

I'm always in this twilight (in the shadow of your heart) disasterisms

Coded on a secondhand datapad in a run-down motel room in Mos Eisley, deleted and never sent: Everything about us was a whirlwind.

Written on a scrap of durasheet in a Tion Cluster outpost, the words fading after a while into air and ghosts: You shouldn't have forgiven me for any of it.

Scraped into the bark of an oak tree on the Argazdan homeworld: You won't believe the dreams I have about you.

the one with the lust writing-reylo

She has bigger things to worry about than that.

The most pressing of which is reclining in her bed, shirtless.

“Can you move?” She asks, unwinding her scarf and shrugging off her huge jacket.

Milking It thewayofthetrashcompactor

“Rey.”

The voice was deep and familiar, rough with exhaustion, and echoed across the gap closed by the Force.

She ignored it, hunched over on the edge of the cot she'd been sleeping on. She wanted nothing more than to lean back and curl up into an unconscious ball again, but another voice, this one much closer, called her name again.

morning in the burned house disasterisms

Leia's not really surprised at all, to be honest, but, for the sake of his pride, she should probably pretend to be.

find a thread to pull, and we can watch it unravel again_please

The war is over, Snoke dead at Rey and Kylo's hands. The two of them find themselves feeling a bit out of place as the Resistance celebrates and decide that the answer is a bit of good old fashioned Corellian whiskey. Enjoyed responsibly, of course. And in private.

Because You're There disasterisms

Three years ago, Rey had not yet climbed Everest.

Presenting the first half of my fic/art trade with the lovely lilithsaur, based on her trash triplets x 2 universe. The gist is that there are three Solo boys— Kylo, Ben, and Matt (the character from Adam Driver's SNL skit)— and three Kenobi girls— Kira (dark Rey), Rey, and Daisy (undercover Rey).

Sword of the Jedi (series) diasterisms

“What do you think?” Luke asks his nephew. “She has potential.”

“She bit me, Master,” is Ben’s stiff response. “Any opinion I give would be biased.”

Or: Everyone is connected, even if, sometimes, it's just by the skin of our teeth. Even in the midst of darkness, still, luminous beings are we.

Reign OptimisticBeth

Alternate Ending to "The Last Jedi." Rey accepts Kylo Ren’s offer in return for the lives of the retreating ships.

Political maneuvering is not Rey's forte. She must adjust to life as the First Order's first lady, making friends and enemies along the way and indulging in sweet awkward romance with her Ben.  

Burgeoning Hope crossingwinter

#ShesPregnantAndHesDumbAndHasntLeftHisJobYet

miles from where you are mooncactus

After an argument over Star Wars fandom with a "gatekeeping, entitled monster" with the cryptic username of KyloRen, Rey finds herself stuck in a series of unavoidable video calls.

Prisoner orphan_account

Rey has been running all her life. She had known since she was a small girl that she was born with the powers that had been cursed and labeled evil by the galaxy. Running had worked for so long, that she was almost surprised when the bounty hunter Kylo Ren had caught her trail. But they might have more in common than they both originally thought.

Hand of Fate sweetestcondition

Rey is offered a choice at the end of Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi. This time, she takes the hand of Kylo Ren, grasping at the chance to transform the First Order from the inside. She hopes to create a Resistance from within, starting with the heart of Ben Solo. | feat. KoR, Kezzik

keep me in your clouded mind hi_raeth

Flu season has claimed its latest victim: Rey’s roommate, Ben Solo. But it’s fine. She’ll get him dressed, bring him to the hospital, and everything will be okay. Things are totally under control.

Except for the part where Ben has completely lost his verbal filter and keeps babbling about his feelings for her.

Exile Ernzo

The war is over and the First Order has fallen. Ben has returned home to face his consequences.

A story of Rey and Ben finding peace in the aftermath of war as Ben accepts his punishment.

made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter disasterisms

The First Order does not exist, what is dead stays dead, and they grow up together at Luke's Jedi Academy.

Or: The one where everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

(Then again, it's Ben and Rey, so maybe things hurt a little.)

A little ginger, a little honey Areah51

Rey is sick, and Ben shows up where he's not wanted, but in the end, we all need someone to take care of us when we're ill.

my wildest wind (come blow into my room) meritmut

“Would it have been so terrible?” he asks. “Staying?”

Could we have had this? she thinks, like she always does.

Non-consecutive ForceTime vignettes in the days, weeks and months after Crait.

Play to Win Enterprisingly

Ben Solo – aka KyloRen – is a professional gamer, playing the first-person-shooter StarKiller for the internationally ranked eSports team, The First Order. He’s made a name for himself as a ruthless competitor with a ferocious temper and top-notch skills that can’t be beat. That is, until a mystery player named ReyOfLight begins thoroughly trouncing him whenever they cross paths.

Unwell AquaWolfGirl

Jakku was cold, but nothing compared to Hoth. While staying at the old Rebel base, Rey catches a cold, and someone is a huge worry wart over the woman who denied his offer.

The One Where He Decides writing_reylo

He’s on the bridge and he’s alone.

The First Order are no more.

It only took him a year, carefully manipulating every weak mind he came across, emotionally manipulating the ones he couldn’t.  

Embers sciosophia

All the myriad things he’d been—someone who made her laugh; the warmth on the other side of the bed; her best friend—those things, Rey had buried.

Rey left Ben two years, three months, and sixteen days ago. But who's counting?

Interstellar Transmissions LovelyThings, ricca_riot

Rey’s interrogation at the hands of Kylo Ren triggered an awakening in the Force, as well as an unwelcome bond that links them across the galaxy and grows stronger every day.

What Stays and What Fades Away astra_inclinant

Her feelings for Kylo Ren are quiet, not acknowledged, but deeply felt. She cannot make peace with them and send them from her mind.

Or, everyone is emotionally stunted and no one has healthy coping skills.  

Our Heaven is Just Waiting FrostedFox

It's his turn to fall wounded before her, and her turn to decide where to go from there.

If only she could convince him to stay alive.

make it look just the way i planned TheJGatsby

Ben buys the painting on a brokenhearted impulse, and somehow it ends up being exactly the right choice.

(Based on the song Paint Me a Birmingham)

[callioope]

Rogue One Characters ~ D&D 5e Classes

My recent return to watching Critical Role inspired me to think (obsess) over what the RO characters’ classes would be. I’ve already played Jyn as a rogue, which was super fun, so I continued the mental exercise for the rest of her friends.

My recent experience with D&D is with The Sword Coast in the Forgotten Realms setting (fifth edition), so that’s going to color my thoughts here, just FYI. It also means there might be other specialty classes out there I’m not aware of.

I’d love to actually build out their characters some day and wouldn’t it be fun to find a group to play them with, but for now I’m just entertaining broader ideas. They’re listed in order of how satisfied I am with the class I settled on (I like the first three, and I think the last three are really still up in the air).

Let me know what you think -- I’d love to see other interpretations! (I can’t talk to enough people about this, really. Just ask my IRL friends who do not care.)

The Quick List (full notes below the cut)

Jyn Erso ~ Rogue, Swashbuckler Archetype

Cassian Andor ~ Rogue, Assassin Archetype

Chirrut Îmwe ~ Monk, The Way of the Open Hand

Baze Malbus ~ Ranger, Hunter

Bodhi Rook ~ Bard, Bard of the College Lore

K-2SO ~ Fighter, OR Wizard, The School of Abjuration

Jyn Erso ~ Rogue Swashbuckler Archetype

Aside from the fact that Jyn leads Rogue One, this just seems obvious to me. We think of rogues as thieves or criminals, which seems fitting for Jyn’s backstory. Rogues are cunning, sneaky, they focus on Dexterity, and are talented in a variety of skills (including Acrobatics, Athletics, Deception, Insight, Intimidation, Investigation, Perception, Performance, Persuasion, Sleight of Hand, and Stealth).

The Swashbuckler archetype (included in the Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide) enhances the rogues melee combat abilities. She could dart away from enemies without inciting attacks of opportunity—a built-in Disengage that allows her to dual wield. Per the Sword Coast’s Adventurer’s Guide: “your method of fighting looks like a performance” (135). Does that not sound like Jyn?

Cassian Andor ~ Rogue Assassin Archetype

Cassian’s another character that sticks to the shadows, and the Assassin archetype is basically built for spies: “You focus your training on the grim art of death. Those who adhere to this archetype are diverse: hired killers, spies, bounty hunters, [...]. Stealth, poison, and disguise help you eliminate your foes with deadly efficiency” (PHP 94). Features include: Bonus Proficiencies with disguise kits and poisoner’s kits; Assassinate; Infiltration Expertise (ability to create false identities at level 9), Imposter (ability to mimic speech, writing and behavior at level 13), Death Strike.

Chirrut Îmwe ~ Monk The Way of the Open Hand

The mastery of martial arts and the connection to spirituality seems like an obvious fit for Chirrut. And the Guardians of the Whills are described as an “order of spiritual warrior-monks” on Wookieepedia. Monks study a magic energy called “ki,” what is described as “energy [that] is an element of the magic that suffuses the multiverse—specifically, the element that flows through living bodies” (PHP 76). Okay, so, it’s the Force.

The monk’s primary abilities are Dexterity and Wisdom, that sounds like Chirrut, too. For his Monastic Tradition, The Way of the Open Hand seems most fitting: “Monks of the Way of the Open Hand are the ultimate masters of martial arts combat, whether armed or unarmed. They learn techniques to push and trip their opponents, manipulate ki to heal damage to their bodies, and practice advanced meditation that can protect them from harm” (PHP 79).

Baze Malbus ~ Ranger Hunter

Baze was a little trickier. At first instinct, fighter seemed to fit, but Baze’s repeater cannon makes him more a ranged fighter than anything. Sorcerer was considered for its use of fireball, but that still didn’t seem to fit. I also considered Cleric simply because I like the idea of Baze as a healer, and a War Domain could put Baze in combat.

After much discussion, I’m currently entertaining the idea of Baze as a Ranger; per the D&D 5e PHP, a ranger is “A warrior who uses martial prowess and nature magic to combat threats on the edges of civilization” (45). Baze’s backstory as a Guardian of the Whill kind of fits that martial prowess, and his leaving the order could have possibly put him on the edge of civilization. Favored Enemy = Imperials, of course, and his Fighting Style could go to Archery for his prowess with ranged weapons.

Of all the ranger archetypes, Hunter then seems to fit the best: “As you walk the Hunter’s path, you learn specialized techniques for fighting the threats you face, from rampaging ogres and hordes of orcs to towering giants and terrifying dragons” (PHP 93). That could be Baze.

Bodhi Rook ~ Bard Bard of the College Lore

I’m not sure who gave me more difficulty, Bodhi or K-2SO. In canon, Bodhi begins the story as an Imperial pilot, and I’m not sure how that could translate to a D&D setting. A coach driver for some kind of villain who defects? Not sure.

In looking at his role in the story, though, it’s his message that inspires the entirety of it. In reading about Bards of the College Lore, I stumbled across this, “When the applause dies down, the audience members might find themselves questioning everything they held to be true, from their faith in the priesthood of the local temple to their loyalty to the king [...] they can expose corruption” (PHP 54).

Bards prefer to stay out of combat, something I see in Bodhi, too, although they’re capable if needed.

So maybe it’s a little bit of a stretch, but I can’t see anything else fitting him.

K-2SO ~ Wizard The School of Abjuration

K-2 presents two difficulties, since there are no droids in D&D. (Although I think I played in an Eberron campaign once that effectively had steampunk type constructs? That was a long time ago, I forget.) I know some people like to make K-2 a pet in modern AUs but this is a particular turn-off for me; he’s a sentient, not a pet. Anyways I suppose those who disagree might find a way to have him as a familiar or animal companion to Cassian, but I personally wouldn’t go that route.

So first, races to consider for K-2SO: goliath, merely for the height; dragonborns are also tall, and he could have silver/metallic scales; and then tieflings are generally outcasts, which kind of fits how droids are treated in the GFFA.

The first thought for K-2 was fighter, which I think does work. A friend suggested gunslinger a la Percy from Critical Role, since K-2 really wants a blaster (seems a stretch to me although I found it amusing). I see K-2 as naturally having a high intelligence ability score, and that screamed Wizard to me. That might seem kind of random, but it’d give the party an AoE spellcaster, which they’re missing, and I also see K-2 as seeing to odd jobs here and there (which actually might even suggest rogue, again?).

IF I went Wizard (which I’m by no means set on), I’d chose The School of Abjuration since it seems to focus on protection, which seems apropos for a character whose initial purpose is security.

But I’m probably overthinking this, he should probably just be a fighter.

What are your thoughts? I’m sure there are better ideas out there, especially for those last three!

Other Notes: 1. Given their religious bent and strict adherence to a moral code, I’d put Jedi as Paladins.

2. I also prepped “Leia Huttslayer” as a noble bard, for the same campaign I built Jyn for. I’ve idly considered Luke as a paladin, and maybe Han as a rogue?

[clairen45]

Who Let the Dogs out? A story of wolves and dogs in Star Wars

This meta was a long-time coming and prompted by @blacklakeinavalley. I always keep my promises, no matter how long it takes me, so here it goes.

Wolves or Dogs?

There have been some awesome metas on wolves in relation with Rey and Kylo more particularly, notably by resident she-wolf extraordinaire @raven-maiden (I am using the term in the most reverent way possible!). I also plead guilty to a meta I did with parallels between the Company of Wolves movie and the ST. I won’t necessarily go back to all the cool theories that have been made about wolf behaviors in Kylo and Rey, but I will draw the following distinctions, though:

in terms of symbolism, per se, there are not so many differences between wolves and dogs. There are both qualities and flaws associated with these particular animals. The qualities and the flaws are, more often than not, interestingly the same from a certain point of view

Qualities: fertility, sexual desire and power, fidelity/loyalty (to partner, pack, or master), fierceness, intelligence

Flaws: debauchery and savagery.

They are both considered chtonian divinities, that is to say linked with the “underground”, or the realm of death and Hell. Think of Cerberus, for instance, the mythical Hell hound, or Anubis in the Egyptian mythology. Which means that, as a symbol, it means both death and the potential for rebirth. The dog can guide the soul back out of Hell , or guide it through its journey into Hell (something usually called a psychopomp creature) . Dogs and wolves are usually associated with elements such as the moon, fire, and the earth. So, water (the moon is considered a watery element), fire, and earth.

So on the one hand heralds or bringers of death through destruction and carnage, and on the other hand, companions, fierce parents, and bringers of life. Life, death, decay that brings new life, peace, violence etc... Very ambivalent creatures that are either loved and revered, or despised and deemed as impure and dangerous.

If there is no huge distinction between wolves and dogs as far as symbolism goes, I would say there is a big one to draw, though. A dog, after all, is a domesticated wolf. What it gains in familiarity and companionship for mankind, it loses in grandeur and nobility. Also, this 4-legged favorite pet moniker is often used to insult people. A “bitch” is not in itself derogatory: after all, originally it just means a female dog. Yet, it is anything but when you apply it to a woman. Same goes with “dogs”. When you call someone a “dog”, except when you are the Snoop, this is usually not to sing their praises. Note that some people will even go as far as sometimes changing the spelling to avoid confusion: “dawg”... And what about “mongrel”, or “cur”? Dawg be darned, what about “rabid cur” for one?

Die, Jedi dogs!

So, in our beloved Galaxy far far away, this is how dogs find their way into the story and the mythos. On the battle of Geonosis, in ROTS, as C3P0 finds himself -as usual- flustered and confused after a mixing up of his body parts with a battle droid, he utters these very lines.

No wonder that the “dogs” get involved in an insult. Dogs are the persisting attribute of all the "wretched hive of scum and villainy”:

The bounty hunter Bossk and his ship called Hound’s tooth

The bounty hunter Embo and his hound called Marrok

That one has got a really interesting story in itself. The species is called Anooba, and is native of Tatooine, which of course will link straight to Anakin and Luke. The name is also full of possibilities: it probably comes from a medieval tale, the tale of Sir Marrok, who was a werewolf.

The vicious Corellian hound used in Solo by Moloch and his gang. BTW, one of the hound was “played” by one of “GOT’s direwolves” ... Funny thing.

Not to mention THIS famous dog in SW lore:

Oh, yea, this is happening. Because, ANH called it right away when Leia served this line to Tarkin about her papa:

Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash.

As mighty as the Dark Lord has become in the SW universe and collective psyche, this awesome and powerful villain is presented as nothing more but a dog. Maybe not quite the poodle, but still a dog. Obedient, trained, who will bite only when his master commands. Gives the word “MASTER” quite another meaning, not just as an apprentice, but literally as seen from a dog’s perspective.

So, no surprise then to see the term re-employed by Snoke to talk about Hux, when he calls him a rabid cur in TLJ. Interesting also that the one using a reference to being “tied at the end of a string”, aka a leash, is also Hux, the rabid cur. Except, that, well, there is indeed an implicit distinction to make. Kylo is also, in many respects, as much a dog to Snoke’s bidding as Hux. Many viewers would even expect Snoke to call Kylo the rabid cur instead, given the tantrums we were privy to in TFA. But he doesn’t call him a rabid cur, and that’s the whole point. In Snoke’s mind, there is nothing rabid about Kylo -though people would have assumed as much- and he is certainly not a cur. A cur, after all, like a mongrel is clearly used to define a mixed breed. The term “rabid cur” is derogatory on two levels.

When referring to Kylo, Snoke is a bit more complicated. There is, on the one hand, the idea that, contrary to Hux, Kylo is valued as “pure breed”, a prized possession cultivated for “the potential of his bloodline”. Purity of blood (damn you midichlorians) being also alluded to, and mocked, by Luke when he talks to Rey about his failure to be a master to Kylo. Yet, at the same time, Snoke keeps on chastising Kylo for being a fraud. He is not the pure breed he expected. He has the feeling he got a mongrel that was tainted by the Solo blood. Hence the insistance of erasing Han Solo of the picture and denying him and his legacy. Yep, Ben Organa Solo is a mixed breed. Snoke wants a pure breed, maybe even a wolf. Pure blood. Untainted, untampered with. Leader of the pack. Well, that’s the project. A wolf and no lapdog.

Or not... Because, this is a little something I found on The astroly Web about the wolf and symbolism, and I will say it is quite interesting:

What I love about this portrait of Kylo as a wolf is that you get some of Kylo and some of what he could have been as Ben Solo. Some of the qualities remain, such as the sense of mystery, exuberance, instinctive and shrewdness. But most of it has been ironically ruined by his lack of self confidence. So as a wolf, he is not complete. The compassion bit really got me because it is the one thing that Snoke reproaches him with... Is he a wolf, or a dog in wolf’s clothing? Or a dog that dreams of being a wolf? Half and half, mayhaps?

Good dog! a rehabilitation

So are there any positive references to dogs in SW yet? Yep.

Anyways, dogs have always been part of the Star Wars mythos, altough not necessarily the obvious way. Take Chewbacca for instance. There would not be Chewbacca as we know him had it not been for George Lucas’s faithful pet, Indiana (who can also be thanked for giving the famous adventurer his moniker). Allegedly, Lucas got the inspiration for Chewie, Han’s copilot, when seeing his wife leave on her car with their huge dog on the copilot seat.

Funny thing is no dog played any part in Chewie’s distinctive sounds, which turn out to be recordings from a bear,a walrus, a badger, a lion, and a seal. The fact remains that Chewie exemplifies the dog’s most praised qualities throughout the saga: as a staunch and loyal friend, as a source of love and comfort (the famous Chewie hugs), and as a protector. Yes, just like dogs, Chewie can be fierce and defend his friends.

You could also argue that there are other examples of companions who exemplify the same doglike qualities in the movies. Droids such as R2D2 and BB8 just fit the model. Loyalty, check; defense, check; huggable, check. The perfect pets and companions. It says a lot that Chewie and R2 are the characters that have endured the longest in the general scope of the saga: R2 appearing in episode 1, and Chewie in episode 3, which make them the only ones that have recurring roles in the three trilogies (Chewie also scores Solo and R2 Rogue One).

There is a subversion of “dogs” as an insult that is quite interesting in the ST. Maybe it starts from this “Die Jedi dogs”, which is quite an oxymoron: the one time it is used as an insult it is to the people that are normally the golden moral standard, and also uttered by someone who is always all too polite and all too diplomatic. Also also, it is not totally incorrect as you could view the Jedi as the guard dogs of the Republic...

But wait, all that was before the ST. In the ST we get brand new examples of dogs and doglike behavior to ponder. Take Rey, for instance. Sitting there, loyally, on Jakku, waiting for her parents to return, a behavior not so different from the countless examples of dogs keeping watch on their dead masters’ graves (like that little famous Scottish from Edinburgh, Greyfriar’s Bobby, who even got his statue to commemorate). After all, this is exactly Rey’s place: Jakku is pictured as a graveyard, a place that is described literally in the novelization as where “technology came to die”. And where does she make a house for herself? As @blacklakeinavalley pointed it out to me in her original ask, in an AT-AT walker which is called non the less: the Hellhound!!!! 

Seriously, like, of all the stupidest dumb names this is the one they picked! An appropriate one, to boot, since the At-AT has always had that distinctive look that made it look like a dog... And I have always been intrigued by this particular rendering with a little girl holding an At-At on a leash...

So, yes, the dog. Here really the corpse of a hound. But symbolism is not lost here... Death that feeds off new life, reborn out of hell... And who could this hellhound be, pray? Well, it gets even better when you know that this particular Hellhound was part of a ship called the Interrogator... Interrogator, mind you, and not something as dreadful as, say, an inquisitor. No, the Interrogator is quite a good one because who is the interrogator since the beginning of TFA? Ummm? Who else but our boy who “interrogates” Lor San Tekka, and Poe, and well... eventually Rey. Rey makes a home for herself there. It’s like Kylo is her home already... ain’t it cute...Also, Kylo as a dog, a “hellhound” is a good one as his job at the beginning is somehow to “hunt down” Luke, sniff his trace throughout the galaxy if you will, and then fetch the information back to Snoke. Good boy Kylo eventually fetches quite another prey... Even though again, Kylo seems more like the wolf at the begining of the story to Rey the dog... Look at the symbolism of the dog from The Astrology Web

Adventure, patience, hardworking!!!! You need to spend more time with your family!!!!!

There was yet another girl that exhibited some interesting doglike behavior in the ST, in a positive way. Unfortunately the scene got cut out. But when Rose bites the finger of Hux on the Supremacy as he mocks her and her system, this is an interesting one. Dog fight, right? What better way to get back at the rabid cur than bite him back?

Wolves will show the way

And then there are wolves in SW Rebels. When I did a piece on birds in SW, I mentioned the convor but as I hadn’t watched any of the Clone Wars or SW Rebels episodes yet, so I had no idea how truly symbolic these specific creatures could be. Careful not to make the same mistake again, and time to tie it in. Wolves (and thus in a way dogs) play quite an important part in these two series. Time to focus on Mortis then, and the World between worlds, introduced to us in SW Rebels. I think it is obvious that this is a very important addition to the SW universe. How they will eventually exploit it in ix is hard to say, yet, but the possibilities are huge in the expanded universe that Disney is preparing between the new shows and comics, and possibly future movies.

Ok, so, I don’t want to get too much into a detailed explanation (too long and complicated and some have done a good job on that already), but, as a reminder, Mortis is introduced in season 3 of Clone Wars to Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan as a mythical/mystical realm of the Force, dominated by three figures: the Father (the balance), the daughter (the light side), and the son (the dark side). Cool thing, even though we don’t get the convor and the wolf but rather a griffin and a bat, there is a moment when a wolf is plainly visible on the right next to the father:

And then, years later, comes SW Rebels. And so we get Ahsoka followed by a convor, which turns out to be the totem spirit of the daughter. Birds are therefore linked with the light side of the Force, the Eros, the life force, the one that points to protection and life. Which is really the whole point I made in my bird meta anyways (especially with porgs). So one would naturally assume that the wolf, as the creature associated with  the son, the dark side of the Force, represents death, Thanatos, the impulse for destruction, the symbolic triad of the Force being the convor, the snake, and the wolf as depicted on the mural uncovered in SW Rebels in quite an Indiana Jonesque formula (evil guy covets mystical artefact that will give him superhuman powers):

But then, there is more than meets the eye... Because the wolves we actually get in the SW universe are not pictured as merely destructive powers. Quite the opposite. In SW Rebels, the wolves give access to a portal, the world between worlds, with a potential to alter past, present, and future. They truly are psychopomp creatures that guide a lost soul (here Ezra) through a world that can be at best described as a vacuum...

And there are the other wolves to reckon with.

Wolffe, the clone trooper commander, linked to Ahsoka and Anakin, one of the few who refused to be part of the code 66 protocol and became rogue, the one who lost an eye (a very symbolic type of mutilation), and lives like Rey in a modified AT-AT. which thus makes Wolffe a link of continuity between the different generations and arcs within the SW universe and saga.

The Loth-Wolves which are featured on the mural of Mortis and frame the portal to the world between worlds. Loth wolves have the ability to communicate with humans, are strongly connected with the Force, and seem to become a vessel for the soul of Kanan Jarrus after his death. Again, the psychopomp.

What to make of it eventually... well... it all depends on what type of creatures we get in IX. Keep you eyes peeled out for birds, wolves, and dogs. But mostly keep your eyes open for Porgs. Always.

To conclude, for your appreciation, this is from a photoshoot Daisy Ridley did for Vogue in 2017 .... The girl that walks with wolves... one black, one white, no less..

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

I've become a Jedi Padawan, and a bit judgmental...

I originally thought the Jedi planet was going to be a quick stop before moving on, but it's turned into it's own thing. It reminds me of WoW even more as you have a town within which to collect missions and then you go out into the field to battle tons of respawning animals.

Part of this was kind of chill--just got to wander and let my characters level themselves up. The combat area was wide and contained many sections. As far as I can tell, there's no world map so that's made it hard to figure out where to go. This planet has also been less choose your own adventure. The first world seemed to offer a variety of ways to tackle a task, and those options aren't quite here. You're given some choices, but...I don't know, the game is still quite linear.

This a mission that involves a woman who has lost her droid. The game makes a lot of weird suggestions in both her dialog and your dialog choices. She apparently lost her husband has used the droid a surrogate romantic partner, and there might be some sexual issues brought up. Maybe I'm too uptight, but I feel sensitive to how women are being treated in this game. Later, you find the robot and it's trying to kill itself. It thought doing so would free his owner up from an unhealthy relationship.

What really annoys me about this quest is the dialog choices. The writer assumes the player would be grossed out or bothered by a romantic relationship between a woman and a droid. Really it just reinforces derogatory view folks have of droids. It's well established in Star Wars that droids have emotions of some sort, and that they're basically conscious and able to form bonds with organics. It's also well established that they're slaves.

This could have been a great opportunity to explore emotional bonds between droids and humans. It was an opportunity to explore the free will of droids and their slavery. It was also an opportunity to explore grief and healthy coping. Instead, they were just like: "Do you think she has sex with her robot?"

Another mission that was interesting but drove me nuts a little, you discover a crime scene being investigated by a Jedi. You're tasked with assisting. It was kinda fun. I sorta fumbled through but it's annoying cause your questioning is limited and it goes in sections. They also give you accusatory dialog options during a question phase. I guess it's meant to mimic overzealous TV cops that toss out accusations to frazzle the suspect and get them to accidentally admit to something. Guess that's why everyone is entitled to a lawyer.

At first it sounded liked the incident was an accident, but then it clearly lent itself to one guilty party. But that's wrong, because they're both guilty. Ah well. I think it would have been more fun to get to explore, interview people, and collect evidence like a real detective, and not just walk through a prescriptive interview simulator.

I unlocked healing for my character. Not realizing that my jedi companion also had force healing. Ah well. This does make it even more WoW-y because now I can heal my party as we battle. Luckily the force recharges, so roaming the field has been made easier since I can easily heal my party. No more desperately collecting med-packs!

For the most part.

We had to go to these ruins from a civilization that predates the republic. Kinda interesting but also...an ancient power that holds the key to destroying or saving the universe...alright...fine. The "dungeons" remind me of Mass Effect, as it should. But it's weird, they're small and linear. I'm used to RPGs and Action Adventures having more of a maze structure. Part of me is thankful I don't have to jump through a bunch of hoops. The other part of me is like, "That's it?"

One part of the story mission had me fighting ancient battle droids. They were resistant to lasers and lightsabers. That's right, they were resistant to intense heat that could melt a blast door. But dopey metal sword could cut through its armor. Sure.

The game is still entertaining enough. Now that I can heal, I feel more comfortable with the challenges that await.

[annakie]

Random SWTOR Blather

Not interesting at all if you don’t play and only slightly interesting if you do.

I’ve basically been off and on SWTOR since it came out.  My longest break was less than a year after I lost most of my credits to a GTN scammer, back when 8 million credits was a LOT that I’d spent like months of intense crafting to save up.  

At the beginning of 2017 I decided to get serious about playing and joined a guild.  They were great for a few months, then things got slow and I dropped out of SWTOR for awhile after Andromeda came out and then my summer was crazy like it always was at my last job and then job drama started happening in the late summer through fall.

In November I went back and things got really awesome again in the guild, and for over two months it was daily log-in and fun, fun times.  There was heavy recruitment and we’d have like 20+ on at night and we were running FPs and Ops like, daily, working on Vet mode Ops.

And then the new WoW expansion came out and overnight attendance dropped like a stone, and there was a little officer drama, and then the GL had some RL drama and left and... now the guild is completely dead again.  We still hang out on Discord some but no one is playing.

So I guess I’m back in search of a guild of ADULT, MATURE (not in the ERP sense, just you know, like, actual grownups) guild of nice people and no drama on Star Forge.  My DPS Trooper and healing Scoundrel are both Command Level 300 and both are well outfitted.  Those are my mains.  RP Optional, I could do it, I’d be OK with not.  So if you know of an active, established guild an oldie like me (I’m over 40) would fit into, let me know.

Anyway, other stuff...

I have spent an insane amount of time and credits decorating.  Ever since Strongholds were introduced it’s maybe been my favorite aspect of the game.

I spent just... dozens of hours making my Tatooine Stronghold awesome.  Tat was my #1 choice for a main Stronghold because it feels like a place you would actually live, even if it is you know, on a barren desert planet.  It has nicely sized, well-sectioned rooms.  It really just makes such SUCH good use of the space and hooks it has. It’s exactly the right size to feel like if you live there and have it decorated it’s where a wealthy person would live.  I love it.  It’s been my Trooper Bethlany’s home for two years now, though I think of it as a “family home” for all my characters.  Now I’m constantly now trying to figure out what hooks to remove so I can add new, cool stuff.

It’s not only got an awesome party Cantina/dance hall/casino/sportsbar combo, but a full-service medical clinic, an indoors science room and an entire outdoor science section.  An awesome garden, a marketplace, a garage with a welcome area, droid repair section and full monitoring, a decked out master bedroom and Vos-ka inspired guest room, a diplomacy / meeting room, a sculpture garden, a techno war-camp for Aric, and a Rakata / non-technical training / archeology site, a small area dedicated to celebrating Life Day all year round, and a small oasis for large and small animals alike. 

But like, I never stopped buying decorations.  And when Manaan was introduced I decided this would be the home for my Inquisitor.  Manaan is gorgeous, even though the hook situation there is completely wtf.   Oh yeah, let’s put a ton of tiny hooks on narrow, already decorated walls.  Lets only put narrow hooks along the walls in this huge, open room.  Let’s make most of the ceiling hooks angeled, so almost nothing can be put there and look even halfway not-stupid.  The entry outside is great, the narrow hallway is terrible, the big room upstairs is so, so frustrating, though the patio is generally nice.  The downstairs mostly needs better ceiling hooks.   IDK.  But, it looks amazing.  And I did a pretty good job making it feel like a breezy vacation home, with a very dark and private undersea area fit for training a new generation of Sith.  It’s got the majority of my statues out in the entry area, and not a neon sign or non-organic plant in sight.  And there’s a lot of plants and stone and water everywhere.

All of my characters use it as a vacation home, my lightsiders (which is... almost all of them) just avoid the undersea part.  They’ll go back to their ships for sleeping after a dip in the hot tub, thanks.

I was going to start on re-making Naar Shadaa next and then Umbaraa came out, and I knew that train belonged to my Imperial Agent, Croach.  Dark and moody with an urgent feel.  I filled it with all the “Cargo” and “precious resources” I could find, with a couple of makeshift sleeping areas for the guards and a slightly nicer car for the Agent and her companions.  So many centerpiece hooks to finally put so many misc huge things I had no other use for.  Hey, yeah, we totally would be transporting this huge machine and this droid in a big ‘ol jar and there’s some rancor and huge turrets and ginormous droids up top along with most of my collection of rotating Zakuul turrets guarding it.  Drop in a bunch of Imp guards standing around, and even made use of a lot of the destroyed speeders and walkers and turrets then slap some blaster marks on the walls to give the place a “we’ve already seen some shit” feel.

And then... my Secretly-a-Double-Agent-For-The-Republic got her Vector back and holy shit the Imps mistreated the Killks, and then oh shit (huge spoilers for Nathema in the IA storyline here) Shara Jenn found out she’s a double agent and welp... any cover she ever had was now blown.  Despite going with Acina on Iokath, Croach told Lana to make a deal with the Republic.  Might as well finally make the move officially.

So now in my head, the Umbara home is a covert mission, and everyone there is actually working for the Republic... with the train made up to look Imperial to sneak through some checkpoints.  Also, her ship resides on Tatooine, Beth is watching out for it (it’s hidden in the garage, while the Thunderclap sits out on the visible landing pad.)

With finally getting the Umbara Stronghold feeling “Done” (though it and Manaan are only like 70% filled each, I don’t want to cram more stuff in there just TO when aesthetically they look good) it’s time to turn my attention to Naar Shadaa.  For the first year or so of Strongholds, it was my main Stronghold, but I grew out of it easily and moved to Tatooine, and have always meant to get back to it.

It’d always meant to be my Smuggler’s home, she was my second Main, after all.  I’d also bought the Mandalorian War Camp pack in hopes of making my BH a home someday.  Because of the server merge I have two Nar Shadaas, and I figured one for each.  But looking at my available decos, it’d be a long time until I could make it happen.  When Rishi was announced I was excited, thinking I could make it work for the BH, but after watching Dulfy’s walkthrough Video I was disheartened.  It is definitely beautiful and awesome for guilds, but it doesn’t really feel like a home for a person. I feel the same way about Yavin 4, btw.  It’s an amazing place to visit, and great for guilds, but it’s just not a functional home.  Too damp, and no actual rooms, especially not rooms with doors.  I’ll hang out there all day, but I’m going back to my ship to sleep.

I still eventually might try to make the base of Rishi work, IDK.  It will probably come down to cost.

Anyway, back to Naar Shadaa.  I started decorating it for my Smuggler and quickly realized that if I was going to ever get to Coruscant and Dromund Kaas, compromises would need to be made.  My BH defected to the Republic at the end of her class storyline, as little good as that did in canon.  I think she, too, is going to make a deal with the Republic when I finish her storyline.

Which means either my Counselor or Knight is gonna take a turn for the Imps, I haven’t decided which yet, just to bring back a little bit of balance, and also, see that side of things.  It’ll be interesting.  I’m going to wait to see what making that decision actually does in the next bit of the story before moving either of them along.

So anyway, my BH and my Smuggler always knew each other in my backstories for them, they were contacts, helped each other with jobs, etc.  So when Orna heads to the Republic, she and Red went into business together.  They each have a suite of rooms near the front, but the rest of it is their shopping center, battle arena (place your bets!), casino, spa, dance club, and sports bar business. Please, come and spend all your money there, and feel free to use a private booth to make your deals.  As soon as possible I’m going to find a second spa to add in that service, too. Torian is happy with the Mandalorian flair the place has, and Theron has a monitoring/spy station.  Where better to pick up the best information than the most popular nightlife spot on Naar Shadaa, anyway?  The only part that sucks is just one starship hook, so I’ll be rotating which ship is parked there occasionally.

That’s still in progress, but coming along.

Next I’m moving to Coruscant to make it a Jedi training hall and haven for Annakie, Jyn’leeviyah, Kira and Nadia, along with a medical clinic for Doc and an information outpost for Felix.  

And then making Dromund Kaas into a Sith academy and Imperial for Sith Warrior Frevi and moody, romantic hideaway for her and Malavai.

...I really need to start crafting and finding more expensive stuff to sell on the GTN.  I’m usually careful to stay over like 90 million credits, but I’m running out of good shit to sell. >.>

Anyway, so much rambling.  I should actually like... go play.

[ncfan-1]

Rewriting Malachor V

If you’ve played KOTOR II like I have, especially if you’ve played it more than once, the Malachor V stage, which was atmospheric and appropriately creepy on first play, gets a bit… tedious on replays, especially if you’re playing without the Restored Content Mod. It doesn’t feel like a stage the way the other planets do. It just feels like an endless boss fight that drags on and on and on, with little to punctuate it, and it just gets… boring. What’s worse is that, while the companions do get a couple of moments to shine, they aren’t allowed to do very much, which given the amount of emphasis the game puts on the Exile’s relationships with these people and on their importance in general, really isn’t good. And I understand that a lot of this is a natural consequence of the fact that Obsidian just wasn’t allowed the time they needed to finish this game, but I’ve thought of some ways the Malachor V stage could be made more interesting, could put more focus on the companions, and be made to feel more like a planetary stage the way the others were.

This post assumes an LS Exile (Since I’ve never played the Exile DS and the idea of doing so holds no interest for me). Also, since I’ve only played as a female Exile, I’m wary of modding my game too much, and I have no interest in playing as a male Exile, I have relatively little familiarity with Brianna. I know about her, don’t get me wrong, I’ve read through the Jedi Jesus Let’s Play and I’ve seen other posts about her, but while I can think of a couple of ways she could contribute here, there are probably other people who could think of more things for her to do here. So, with that in mind:

First, some general notes:

- The enemies you encounter on the surface of Malachor V should be diversified. If the game really wants us to believe that the planet is still inhabitable after everything that happened to us, there should be more than one type of hostile animal on the surface. There should also be, like, Sith outposts or listening posts on the surface of the planet, where they monitor the skies for any evidence that hostile ships have come to attack the Academy. The hierarchy of enemies on the surface (excepting Hanharr and the beast you find in the giant pen—more on that later) should go like this:

two or three smaller beasts, with roughly the same toughness as the tuk’ata you find on Korriban -> the storm beasts, which appear more rarely than the smaller beasts, and should probably not be allowed to deal out 100 in damage in one hit -> non-Force-sensitive Sith officers, more common than the storm beasts but less common than the smaller beasts -> Dark Jedi, much less common -> Sith lord, extremely uncommon; you run into maybe two or three of them across the whole surface of Malachor V.

- This is a Doylist gripe and perhaps not entirely realistic from a Watsonian perspective, but when dead enemies drop loot, they don’t drop credits. After all, what’s the point? This is the last stop in the game and it’s not like there’s a merchant here. Instead, the enemies drop (in the case of Force-wielders) lightsabers, armor, robes, useful items, and lightsaber crystals appropriate to the character’s level. Also health packs. Lots and lots of health packs (Though to be fair, they do that already). Some of them drop datapads for mini-quest-relevant information, or other quest items.

So, about Malachor V…:

- First, the prelude. On the way over to Malachor V, while the Exile is sleeping or meditating or something, the non-droid companions have a meeting. Basically, they know that the Exile is planning on heading out to confront Kreia by herself, that she’s trying both to shield them from the danger and trying to draw away from them because even if what the Jedi Masters said to her on Dantooine was myopic, blinded-by-fear-and-ignorance-bullshit, it’s still wormed its way into her head and she’s afraid of unconsciously manipulating her companions—and leading them to their deaths against their will.

But this is a game where free will is important, and if you’re playing as a Light Side Exile, it really doesn’t look as though she’s been psychically dominating her companions. They all have their reasons to go to her and their reasons to stay with her that can’t be explained that way. It’s not as though she hasn’t been influencing them in any way at all—see the conversation she can have with Mira, noting that even though Mira has avowed her refusal to kill, she’s been killing without compunction since joining up with the Exile—but for the most part, this influence is above-board. None of them are at all interested in letting the Exile go it alone on Malachor V.

- The Ebon Hawk crashes on the surface of Malachor V as per canon. While the ship is crashing, the loading ramp is forced open and, while trying to get it shut again, Mira is sucked out of the ship, thus explaining why she wakes up on the ground so far below the Ebon Hawk. Everyone asides from the droids is knocked unconscious in the crash, and wake up at differing points.

- Remote isn’t knocked out and sets out immediately to fulfill Bao-Dur’s orders. In this version, since Remote is heading out before the Exile has the chance to clear the area of any storm beasts, Remote has a bit more combat and defensive capability; Bao-Dur’s upgrades actually amount to something here. It can move faster than in canon, its shots pack a bit more punch (though it’s not the powerhouse T3-M4 can potentially be with his shock arm). Remote still has to sneak past the storm beasts, but the Sith won’t bother with it since it’s just a droid, and it can move fast enough to outrun the smaller beasts on the surface of the planet.

Past this, Remote’s mission plays out the same as in canon. Once it activates all the Republic warships, G0-T0 shows up and menaces it. At that point, HK-47 shows up because G0-T0 needs a killin’ and no way is he going to let anyone else handle that job. The HK-51s show up and, depending on whether HK-47 was able to program them to be loyal to him, he either has to fight them or they fight by his side when killing G0-T0. Upon dispatching G0-T0, HK-47 (and the HK-51s, if they’re loyal to him) heads back to the Ebon Hawk to make sure his escape route is kept safe.

- One by one, the non-droid companions wake up, and they start to carry out their own mini-quests before reaching Malachor V. In this case, each group must disable and/or destroy a Sith outpost they run into on the way to the Trayus Academy. At any point, if anyone asides from the Exile dies, they die permanently. If one member of a party dies but the rest lives, they don’t wake up at the end of the fight. If the whole party dies, you aren’t prompted to reload your last save game; it just skips to the next segment. Obviously, you can go into the load game list and reload your last save game to keep them alive, but I thought this feature might add a bit more weight to what is supposed to be one of the most evil, dangerous places in the galaxy, as well add more weight to the last stage of the game.

- Mira wakes up first, and we get the little cut scene about her commenting on the scenery, before it switches back to the next segment.

- Atton and Mical both wake up at around the same time. Their dialogue as they fight their way across the surface of Malachor might be strained sniping or it might be reflective of a tentative, uneasy camaraderie, depending on the way the Exile has treated them both through the course of the game, how much influence she has with them both, and just how far up the Light Side scale she, and by extension, them, is. When they reach the outpost, there should be an opportunity for some drama. Maybe somebody recognizes Atton as a Sith deserter, or maybe Mical recognizes someone he knew from his time as an initiate at the Dantooine Enclave. They take control of the outpost, and we cut to the next segment.

- Canderous, Visas, and Brianna (if you have her in the party) wake up next. This time, it’s Canderous helping Visas get up, to bookend their last exchange on the Ravager before they blew that ship to hell. Canderous and Visas’s dialogue reflects the camaraderie they formed on the Ravager, reflects their significantly improved relationship, maybe reflects the echoes of Revan Canderous sees in Visas. If Brianna’s in the party, her dialogue with Visas runs along the same lines as the dialogue Atton and Mical can potentially have. They have the opportunity to slice into the computer system in the outpost and with a high enough Computer Use and Security skill, decode some journal entries by the officer in charge of the outpost about transmissions coming from somewhere out further in the Unknown Regions. They blow up their designated outpost, and we cut to Mira’s segment.

- When Mira gets to and takes control of her outpost, she discovers a spaceship with a working hyperdrive in a hangar, and part of her “take over the outpost” mini-quest involves finding a code to get the hangar bay doors open so that the ship could potentially leave Malachor V if needed. This will potentially be important for later, and is a mandatory part of the mini-quest; Mira isn’t allowed to step outside the outpost until she's done this. When Mira steps outside the outpost, she confronts Hanharr as per canon, fighting and defeating him, and convincing him to take her to Kreia.

- When the Exile wakes up, it’s only her, Bao-Dur, and T3-M4 on the ship—HK-47 hasn’t gotten back yet. The Exile wakes Bao-Dur up and orders him and T3 to stay with the ship, because she needs to find the others, and because “[they] need to get away quickly once [her] business [there] is done.”

Malachor V is, for the Exile, like the tomb of Ludo Kressh on Korriban, except even worse. Part of it is the powerful Dark Side energy of the planet, part of it is the Exile’s PTSD, but she’s seeing Force visions (and possible hallucinations; it quickly gets to the point where it’s impossible to tell which is which) everywhere she goes. None of them attack her the way the visions in the tomb did, but she sees Jedi who were at the Battle of Malachor V dying in agony, she sees flashes of Revan masked and cloaked that disappear when she comes close, flashes of Malak whispering promises of power and answers, she sees a faceless figure writing in agony before becoming a void of stars and dark matter and unceasing hunger. And the storm beasts seem drawn to her as if she was emitting some sort of homing signal…

The Sith don’t attack her. Similar to the Sith Assassins outside the Academy doors, they treat her with a level of deference that is frankly disturbing.

- All the Kreia-Sion dialogues play out as they do in canon.

- The beast in the pen outside of the Trayus Academy isn’t a greater storm beast, because part of this rewrite is to inject greater creativity into the Malachor V stage. Instead, it’s a drexl. No, not a drexl larva like what we saw back on Onderon; it’s a full-grown drexl. Now, the drexl isn’t in the best shape, since it’s not in its native habitat and its wings have been clipped to keep it from up and flying away, but it still packs a wallop. Its toughness is roughly equivalent to the greater storm beast of canon; it can do 300 in damage in one hit, but if you’ve buffed your Exile enough you can do like I did and take it down in two rounds.

- The Kreia vs. companions confrontation plays out as in canon, except this time we also have a scene of Canderous trying to disable Academy security, only to be jumped by some of the students. They’re going to kill him, except Sion intervenes and tells them their master wants Canderous thrown in a cell with the others.

- The Atton vs. Sion battle plays out as in canon, with both of the possible outcomes intact.

- The Exile makes her way through the Academy, cutting a bloody swathe through the Sith as she goes. She can slice her way into a computer terminal at some point and read log entries about reports of activity in the Unknown Regions and old attempts on Kreia’s part to find out where Revan went after the events of the first game, all with the shadow of the enemy moving in the dark casting a long shadow over everything.

- Eventually, the Exile makes her way over to the cells where her companions are being kept. Upon freeing them (assuming the Exile doesn’t gas them all, which is an option in the game for reasons I don’t wish to contemplate), she, as per canon, asks Canderous to get them all safely back to the ship. Upon realizing that Atton isn’t with them, she tells the party that she’ll look for him and make sure he gets out safely, and that they shouldn’t wait for either of them.

- Immediately after this segment is done, we cut back to the Ebon Hawk. Bao-Dur and T3 are working on repairs, are almost done getting the loading ramp to close again so the ship can take off without everyone being sucked into space. They are, perhaps, having a conversation in which they express their worries about the Exile, about getting away from here safely; Bao-Dur again expresses his regrets about having caused all of this devastation, regrets that are amplified by being back on the surface of the planet itself. HK-47 (and the HK-51s, depending) returns to the ship just in time to inform Bao-Dur and T3 that a Sith boarding party is en route. Their mission now is to defend the ship and keep it from being taken over or destroyed by the Sith.

This is the point in which the Mira mini-quest with the other ship becomes important. It’s important because if you both fail to keep the Ebon Hawk safe, and Mira dies at any point during the Malachor V stage, you have no way off the planet, and you’re fucked.

If Bao-Dur and company succeed in driving off the boarding party, they decide they need to move the ship to a safer location as soon as they’re done fixing the loading ramp.

- The Exile continues to fight her way through the Academy, looking for Atton and Kreia both. She eventually finds her way to the room where the final Sion encounter triggers. If Atton lost that fight, there’s a big red smear of blood on the floor. The Exile vs. Sion fight occurs as per usual.

- Immediately after the last fight with Sion, we cut back to our party of companions who are desperately trying to escape the Trayus Academy. After many trials and battles, they have finally made it to the back door! …And it’s locked. Nobody can slice their way through. Nobody can blast or cut their way through. The door is sealed. Mical (or Brianna, depending on who you have in your party) determines that the door can only be opened with a Sith holocron, so… fetch-quest!

Yes, our party now has go rooting through everybody’s sock drawers to look for a Sith holocron; the back of the Academy happens to be where everyone’s quarters are. If you’re diligent and you search every room, you can actually find a Jedi holocron secreted away. Mical and/or Brianna takes one look at the thing and goes “…I’m just gonna take this. This really doesn’t need to be here.”

To get into the room where the Sith holocron can be found, you have to correctly answer a logic puzzle. I’m not quite what kind of logic puzzle; I just know this stage could be improved by logic puzzles. When you get into the room, it’s somebody’s quarters, but larger (And the stuff in the room gives the strong impression that these are Kreia’s quarters). There is a large footlocker at the back wall of the room that you can’t answer without answering another logic puzzle, this one harder than the last. But by this point, the team cannot be stopped by a logic puzzle, and they get the Sith holocron.

The team heads back to the back door, only to find Hanharr waiting for them there. He’s irate because Kreia didn’t kill either Mira or him, and he’s still stuck with his life-debt to Mira. When he and Mira fight, even though Hanharr is badly injured, he hits even harder than before and is immune to critical hits. Mira refuses to kill him, but when she’s walking back to the group, Hanharr tries to attack her from behind. Canderous shoots him, and thus ends Hanharr the Wookiee. They plug in the Sith holocron, unlock the back door, and get the hell out of dodge.

- The rest of the end stage proceeds as normal.

All in all, it’s not the same as the other planets we’ve had. I’d say this modified stage has more in common with the Korriban stage than, say, Dantooine or Nar Shaddaa. But it would definitely make the Malachor V stage less of a slog, and make it feel more like a finished stage. And it would give our companions the kind of end-stage focus they deserve.

[capricornus-rex]

A Path I Can’t Follow (9)

Chapter 9: Descent | Cal Kestis x Reader

Summary: It was a matter of life and death—the question is, should it be the life of many or one, the death of many or one? Cal Kestis makes what ought to be the biggest and hardest decision of his life as he is pitted with a question of high stakes and morals. He descends to the Dark Side and becomes an Inquisitor. A choice he openly made for the sake of saving you, even if you didn't know you needed it until it was too late.

Tags: Dark Side! Cal Kestis, Inquisitor! Cal Kestis

Also posted in AO3

Chapters: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 | Previous: Chapter 8 | Next: Chapter 10 | Masterlist

9 of ?

Cere had waited for you outside the Mantis. Using her hand as a visor over her eyes, she patiently surveyed the plains for any sign of your coming. Behind you as the Varan galloped through the wilderness, a trail of dust gathered and then wafted up in the air—like a beacon in Cere’s perspective.

At first, she couldn’t make out much of what she’s seeing because she could only see a black speck in front of a plume of dust. You continuously snapped the reins to regain more speed—if there is any more the Varan could handle—until you became more visible to Cere’s view.

Cere couldn’t and didn’t want to believe what she’s seeing—there was only one of you. She told herself that Cal was probably sitting behind you, but every passing minute as you got closer, she was beginning to believe she was wrong.

You heeled the Varan and it reared in front of Cere.

“[y/n], what happened? Where’s Cal?”

You didn’t reply. You dismounted the creature, held its muzzle close to you for one final pet, and you stuck your forehead on the flat of its snout.

“Go find your way home,” you whispered before releasing the reins.

The animal, wild and free again, darted through the plains, becoming a dark moving speck in the wasteland until it disappeared. Cere repeated her question to you. BD-1 chirped a nonchalant “Hi” to the woman.

“Let’s go inside,” you said sullenly.

Upon your entrance into the Mantis, you were greeted with the same question asked by Greez, Merrin was as equally curious as the other two. You unbuckled the strap of your bag containing the holocron and dumped it on the couch.

“[y/n], what happened?” Greez asked again.

You take a deep breath, gathering the right words and finding the courage to even utter them as clearly as possible. Pacing around in small, tight circles as you look up at the ship’s ceiling while thinking carefully of how you’re going to put it to them.

“An Inquisitor has taken Cal. They’ve already fled the planet, I never caught up to him. I never saw him either,”

“But you two went together to the temple, weren’t you?” Cere pressed.

“We were ambushed by Stormtroopers when we got inside the temple. He told me to get inside the chamber and get the holocron, he held them off. When I got to the holocron, I think the Force gave me a vision of sorts, I didn’t realize that a long time had passed while I was under… then I got out of the chamber and I never saw him,”

“Was he kidnapped? Taken hostage?” Cere pressed.

You shook your head in reply.

“They… The Stormtroopers…” you trailed off at the thought of the massacre at the town, you couldn’t longer repress the tears welling up behind your eyes until they rolled down your cheeks, the sinking feeling in your heart made you choke on your words as you struggled to continue speaking. You lousily wiped away the tears in your eyes with your sleeve. Impulsively, Merrin approached and held you—putting her arm around your shoulder, whispering “It’s okay” while you regain your bearings.

“They slaughtered all of the people in the settlement. Every single person living there. The leader, he… he told me Cal gave the order!”

“And BD told all of that to you?” Cere confirmed.

“He was the only one with Cal that time, he must’ve let go or lost his grip in the middle of that massacre. Why wouldn’t I believe BD?”

“Where is he now?”

BD-1 repeated the same string of chirps and trills to everyone, but only you were able to translate it.

“The Inquisitors have another fortress,” you said softly. “In Koboth, that’s in the Mustafar System.”

“Captain, get ready for takeoff,” Cere firmly said.

“Copy that,”

Cere and Greez immediately strode to the cockpit, not sparing a moment and immediately setting themselves in work mode. You approached the holotable and typed the coordinates until a preview of the planet in its hologram form materialized. Koboth is thirteen parsecs away from Magyon.

The Mantis slowly hoisted itself off the ground while Greez made quick work of pressing buttons and flicking switches.

You sat on the couch—back slumping against the warm leather and arm crossed over your chest—BD-1 hopped off your shoulder and sat on the center table. Merrin sat down next to you, attempting to comfort you.

“Are you worried, [y/n]?”

“I am but… about many things,”

She rests her hand on yours, giving it a tight but gentle squeeze.

“Mostly worried about Cal?”

“Of course. I don’t know what I’ll see when I find him, and I’m not sure if I’m ready,”

Merrin leaned her head on your shoulder as she hugged you.

“I just hope he’s okay,” you sighed, clutching back Merrin’s hand and nuzzling your cheek on her silver hair.

The Inquisitor’s convoy had already gone to Koboth almost immediately after the slaughter was finished and when Cal thought he had finished off Razh. The planet—similar to its neighboring Mustafar—was also a volcanic planet, the only difference between the two alike planets are their skies: Koboth’s skies could be clear, grey, or dark. Large, black mountain ranges dictated the twists and turns of the lava rivers, deltas of magma branched out across the soil, possibly extending to the farthest reaches of the planet, geysers were also scattered across the arid, rocky plains. It was an unforgivable planet, it was a perfect itinerary for someone as formidable as the whole band of Inquisitors.

Another fortress rests atop a plateau, its onyx spire erecting through the cliff top where it overlooks a cluster of geysers on the obsidian plains; at the foot of the plateau, where a river of lava flows through, is an established Imperial facility and base hybrid.

The convoy had landed on the hangar of the fortress; Cal walked along with the Grand Inquisitor—tailed by a couple of Stormtroopers—together they appeared almost like master and apprentice. In the corner of his eye, the Grand Inquisitor glanced at Cal, sensing an inhibition that the young boy.

“Are you troubled?”

“Frankly, yes,”

This whole time, starting from the ambush at the temple until he boarded the Grand Inquisitor’s shuttle, all he could think about was you—what you would say, what you would think—once you see him again. Cal believed that while he may have guaranteed your safety for now, that doesn’t mean you will be immune from every Stormtrooper you bump into in any world you’re in.

He wanted you with him. Anywhere, anything goes—as long as you’re not separated from him.

“Of her? But you have already guaranteed her safety, have you not?”

“I’d much rather have her here with me. You don’t know what she is capable of,”

The Pau’an Inquisitor smirked and scoffed through his nostrils.

“Believe me, boy, I know enough,”

Once they’ve entered the fortress itself, they were greeted by Stormtroopers, straightening their backs and readjusting their grips on their blasters. They eased up when the Grand Inquisitor and Cal have walked past them, and then it was back to slouching. To Cal, it has always felt the same whenever he treads through the hallway of an Imperial base—cold, stale, inorganic—but now, all of it was beginning to change; he had begun to realize this is going to be his new life now.

Along the way, the Grand Inquisitor stopped in his tracks and turned his attention to the pair of Stormtroopers.

“Take Master Kestis to the quarters arranged for him,”

Cal jerked his head to the Pau’an who glanced back at him unsurprised. The young redhead did not say anything. His companion was polite enough to dismiss himself with his own reason before leaving him at the care of the Stormtroopers.

“This way, sir,” the Stormtrooper points to the general direction with his blaster.

The Stormtroopers took the lead with Cal walking behind them, he wondered if these troopers were any of the clones he had met or interacted with before the Purge. He shrugged away the thought and was escorted to a chamber.

“This is it, sir,”

“Thanks,” Cal barely made his mouth move to utter the words. Regardless, the Stormtroopers—having their task done—gave a curt nod at the boy and walked away, assuming patrol work in the base.

Cal stepped in and surveyed his new quarters. One entire wall was a glass window that gave a view of the lava rivers and the geyser patch outside the fortress. There was a single cabinet that was filed with medical supplies and consumables like food rations, stims, even smoke and flash bombs.

“Stims,” Cal muttered to himself. “Well, I guess we can restock, right, BD-1?”

He glanced over his shoulder, his stomach sank to his feet instantaneously when his little droid is nowhere to be found on his back. Suddenly, he was hysterical. He had lost BD-1 and couldn’t remember the last time he was sure that the droid was there clinging on his back.

“BD-1…? Little bud?!” he searched his room, nothing.

He wanted to head out and search his droid, but he was unsure how the Stormtroopers would react—he didn’t exactly fit in yet. He hesitated in stepping out of his room, instead, he opened the door and peeked out to see if BD was there waiting for him outside—probably waiting to open up the door for him.

Nothing. Just an empty hallway.

He retreated to his room, helpless and truly alone. He sat down on his bed.

“Oh no…”

Cal hung his head low, resting his forehead on the palm of his hand while his fingers combed his copper hair. He took deep breaths, hoping that BD-1 would not have been completely lost—he had hoped that you’ve picked him up along the way.

In the solace of his chamber, he sulked for a time, until he decided it’s pointless and attempted to meditate instead. However, he couldn’t seem to focus, something felt like hindering whenever he tried—it was unexplainable; if he strains himself, he loses control and is unable to properly meditate.

The sputtering of the geysers muffled through his glass wall interrupted his focus. He grunted in frustration as he jerked his eyes open. He strode towards the glass, watching the pillars of gas and vapor shoot up from their craters and then into the air, the viscous lava sloshed rather than flowed in streams.

He thought about the feelings he had mere seconds ago. His meditation felt hollow, the silence had terrified him, and he began to ponder what went wrong all of a sudden and why was he feeling like this. By the glass window, Cal ruminated on his choices, the outcomes it had brought, and the sacrifices that were made whether the price was steep or low; but above all of this, you were the first of his many thoughts—your voice, your cheerful laughter that escaped through your sweet smile, and the way you looked at him.

At the corner of his eye, a ship was spotted in the distance and he instantly recognizes it just by the way it did its landing cycle.

The Mantis.

You’ve taken over co-pilot where Cal originally sits, assisting Greez in piloting the ship as you would. As the captain prepared the landing cycle, you stared through the windshield, glaring at the raven-black tower that nestled between the cliff tops. A feeling crept onto you—it was cold and heavy, but there was a familiarity to it.

“Cal’s there, I know it,” you uttered particularly to yourself, you didn’t care whether they heard it or not.

The Mantis finally touches the rocky terrain of Koboth for the first time. You jumped out of your seat, Cere called your name but you ignored it—you were too eager to find him—when a second mention of your name wasn’t enough, she caught up to you and grabbed you by the arm.

“[y/n], please wait!”

“Cere, please! There’s not much time!” you burst.

“I know you want him back—we all do, like you—but please, don’t be reckless,” Cere shook your arm, her grip evidently tightening as she spoke every word.

You finally afforded a moment to calm yourself and breathe. You heeded her words.

“I won’t be reckless. I will find him and I’ll bring him back home,” you firmly swore, looking deep into Cere’s eyes.

She nodded but said nothing. Then suddenly—perhaps because of the emotions swirling inside her—she throws herself to you, taking you in her arms’ embrace. She brought her lips close to your ear.

“Do not let your fear and inhibitions trample on what you believe in,”

Cere may not have seen it, but your eyes lit up—it was the same, exact words that the voice of your master had said to you in the holocron’s chamber—the slight movement of your head proved her that you understood well and have taken the words to heart.

“I won’t,” you replied, embracing her back. “I won’t.”

The woman pulled away from the embrace, but kept her hands on your shoulders, giving them a slight shake.

“Okay,” she breathed. She raised her hand to your cheek, cupping and then caressing it. “Go on now. May the Force be with you.”

You nodded and turned around to the door. When you stepped out of the ship and finally got a feel of the planet’s environment, you had wished you could have brought the Varan along with you—it would have still served its purpose when crossing this kind of terrain. No use in whining about it, you thought, and hiked the entire mile from the Mantis’s landing spot to the fortress.

Little did you knew that Cal had spotted you. Squinting through the glass, he found you sprinting through the expanse of the obsidian flats, the hem of your poncho flapping through the wind as you ran, and he watched you close in on the fortress.

The Force still guided him, even if his connection was reducing into fragments like it was once before he met Cere, it connected him to you, gave him hints on where you might be; with his unseen guide, he darted through the confusing and winding annexes and hallways of the fortress, blatantly ignoring the Stormtroopers that gave him weird stares even with their emotionless helmets.

Cal, please, be with me. You prayed while prowling the hallways, engaging in fights as scarcely as possible.

Cal sprinted and hurriedly followed whatever it is that was shepherding him to you. Clearly, it was the Force—indescribable but certain. Coming from the west, he ended up in the main elevator lobby—the center of it all. Finally, the two of you have crossed paths; your sneaking off and your scaling of the place just to be out of sight from the enemies and the workers there—even if they were just droids.

Your eyes meet.

“[y/n]…” that is all Cal uttered.

For one, you were thrilled to see Cal safe and sound and seemingly unscathed. There weren’t visible wounds on his face, no tears and rips on his clothes—he was perfectly fine. You could’ve sworn you even saw his eyes light up and the corners of his lips curl up when he found you.

And yet you feel something ominous exuding from him. There was no doubt about it and there was no other way of explaining it. Your smile was a short-lived one. You stepped closer to him, close enough to touch him again—you cradled his cheeks with your trembling hands and looked into his eyes—and in that moment, you’ve confirmed what you’ve been fearing this whole time.

It was the Dark Side of the Force.

“Oh, my love, what have they done to you?” you gasped.