#also i think i have read every fic on here at least twice i love them

[aquaticmercy]

Of Black Ink and White Lilies

Summary : Bucky wants to get a tattoo, so he asks you for advice.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x reader (she/her) (written with tattooed!reader in mind.)

Warnings/tags : fluff. Tattoos. Angst if you really squint.

Requested by : myself!

Word count : 1.6k

Note : Not many of you on here know this, but I’m quite heavily tattooed! I have a sleeve and the top half of my chest is filled. My legs are quite full, too. My irl boyfriend also has tattoos, but he has significantly less than me, so he often asks me for advice on what to get next. This fic is inspired by him because he gives me Bucky vibes lol. Enjoy!

Requests are open!

○ buy me a ko-fi ○

Bucky Barnes had been through so much in his lifetime. Since witnessing the horrors of World War II, the brutality of mind control, and eventually finding his freedom in the 21st century, he was bound to have changed, grown, and healed more times than he would ever care to admit. For a while, he was convinced that he overstayed his welcome. Until he met you. 

When he met you, he felt more alive than he ever did. You gave him something he had not found in the modern world: meaning.

Which is why— for the past few weeks at least— he’d been glancing at your tattoos with more interest, more intent, than he usually did. He loved your tattoos, he always had. 

It was fascinating how you viewed your skin as a canvas of colors and lines. Every drop of ink that lived into your skin seemed to tell a part of your life, and he admired how you wore them proudly, loudly on display for the world to see. From the intricate patterns that wound up your beautiful body, to the shapes that danced along skin, every piece was personal, intimate, and a wonderful confirmation of the life you had lived.

And Bucky is now realising that he also wanted part of him immortalised in ink. 

One problem: he didn’t know where to start. Until very recently, he never considered getting a tattoo. Hell, back when he was young, tattoos were something most people didn’t have, and he was sure Steve would probably give him a raised eyebrow if he got it in the 40s. It was a taboo— only sailors and bikers, the ultra-macho type had them. 

It was something he had to unlearn while adapting to modern life. You definitely sped up the process for him. Seeing ink on such a lovely human being — who he thought was extremely easy on the eyes — made him think twice about his old-fashioned views on ink. 

Every time he glanced at you, sprawled out on the couch reading your latest favourite novel or cooking pancakes for breakfast in one of his oversized shirts with all your body art on display, he felt the urge—heard the little voice in his head that said maybe it was time he etched something permanent onto his own skin.

That evening, you did what you always do on a lazy day— you were both curled up on the couch, tangled in each others’ presence. You were just admiring your boyfriend’s features when you noticed his gaze lingering a little longer than usual, particularly focused on the ink winding up body. You were used to him admiring your tattoos. He often traced his fingers absentmindedly over them, but this felt a bit different.

"You're staring again, Barnes," you teased as you nudged him gently. He blinked, your words pulling from his deep thoughts. He gave you an almost shy smile.

"Sorry, doll," he said, his fingers tracing a line of ink. "M’ just thinking."

"About?" You asked, tilting your head inquisitively. 

He hesitated for a moment longer than he had meant to. When he finally spoke, his voice came out a little softer than usual. "Bout’ getting a tattoo,” he answered.

You raised your eyebrows, unable to hide your pleasant surprise. Bucky had never mentioned wanting a tattoo before. You couldn’t help but smile as you leaned closer. "Really?”

"Really,” He chuckled, scratching the back of his head. His metal hand rested on your knee, rubbing your skin. “I mean… I think so. I’m not sure what to get."

You had to admit, the thought of him even thinking of getting one made your heartbeat a little quick. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it. Until now you weren’t sure that day would ever come. 

“Get something that means a lot to you,” your voice adorably squeaky with excitement. “Something personal."

“There’s a lot that means something to me,” Bucky considered it, “but I don’t know what would be right. You have all these beautiful pieces, and they seem to fit you perfectly. I don’t know what would do that for me.”

"It will fit if it feels right to you.” You placed your hand over his and squeezed gently, “I’m sure if you think about it, something’ll stand out."

Bucky was quiet for a moment, like he was deep in thought. You didn’t press him; this was something he had to decide for himself, and any form of pressure wouldn’t help. After all, you wanted it to mean as much to him as yours meant to you.

"You think I should go for something small to start?" His voice was thoughtful as bright blue eyes lifted up to meet yours.

"That’s up to you.” You said, putting your hand on his, “But that might be a good idea. You can always get bigger ones later."

"One step at a time, doll." Bucky found himself chuckling at the thought of getting more than one tattoo. 

You smiled. "Whatever you choose, I know it’ll be perfect." You leaned in to press a gentle kiss on his cheek. 

—

A week passed since that conversation, and Bucky hadn’t said a word about the tattoo. You figured he either wasn’t ready yet or maybe still hadn’t made up his mind. 

It wasn’t until one evening, on a particularly rainy day, that the topic even came up again.

You came home that day, finding him waiting patiently in the living room. He had a small, shy smile on his handsome face.

"Hey, sweetheart," you greeted, placing your bag onto an armchair.

Bucky stood there almost awkwardly, his hands in his pockets. He was shifting his weight slightly like a high schooler that was about to ask his high school crush to prom. 

He was brimming with anticipation, or nerves? 

“I did something," he said, his voice a little smaller than usual. He was so cute when he was nervous.

"And what might that be?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.

Not answering, he instead reached down and lifted the hem of his t-shirt. He revealed a newly inked tattoo on his left side, just above his ribs. Your breath hitched as you saw in the delicate black and gray flowers that now decorated his battle-hardened skin.

Lilies.

The same flowers he had brought you on your very first date. 

Your heart fluttered as wildly as a baby bluebird taking flight for the first time. Your mind flooded back with memories of that day. It had been a wonderful date, simple and extravagant at all. He took you to dinner and a quiet walk along the waterfront, where you ended up talking for hours.

That day, Bucky had shown up with a bouquet of white lilies, their sweet smell filling the air as you had greeted him, and it filled your apartment for the entire week, making you think of him every time you’re home. The scent had made you think of Bucky so much that he had given you a lily-scented perfume for your first anniversary— and you knew it wasn’t cheap to get.

On that first date, the flowers were such a small gesture, but one that had stayed with you all this time. 

"Bucky…" you breathed out a sigh. Your hand reached out instinctively to touch the tattoo, but you stopped yourself, knowing it was still fresh. 

He read your emotions like an open book as his lips tugged into a small smile. "I remembered how much you liked them. How happy you looked when I brought them to you that night.” He put a hand on your waist. “I wanted something that reminded me of you. Of us."

Your eyes misted over, swelling with joy as you studied the delicate design. 

The art was perfect— elegant, simple, yet brimming with memories. You could see the care that had gone into choosing the design. The thought he had behind it. 

Bucky wasn’t the type to do things lightly and this tattoo was a perfect example of that.

“I can’t believe you chose this." You said, voice barely above a whisper.

Bucky’s smile softened, gazing at you with an admiration you recognized. He gently pulled you into his arms, careful not to press his side against you. "You told me to get something that mattered the most to me.”

You couldn’t help the tears that slipped from your eyes, caressing his cheek gently. You were overwhelmed by how sweet a man that had so much wrong done to him can be. "I love it. I love you."

"I love you too," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 

You pulled back slightly, wiping your eyes. "How was it?"

Bucky chuckled, “Kinda stings, but worth it."

It seemed silly to you, that a man who was so used to pain even thought of the ache of getting a tattoo, but then you realized this is possibly the first time he was willingly inflicting pain on himself, and it was to commemorate your relationship.

You stifled a sob at the realisation. "Careful babe,” You shook your head. “Next thing you know you’ll be getting full sleeves."

He raised an eyebrow, a playful sparkle in his eyes. "You wish."

You pressed your lips to his, your heart full of fluttering content.

Bucky smiled against your lips. He may have been the Winter Soldier once, but now, he was simply Bucky— a man in love, with lilies inked into his skin to prove it.

“And maybe,” Bucky whispered quietly, already considering his next tattoo. “If you’re lucky.”

-end

[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

God ever since reading A Gilded Cage I cant get the thought out of my head of a part 2 where Reader doesn't see Jason for a few days after the revelation. Like maybe he thinks he's being kind and giving us some time to process, maybe he's on his angst again, or maybe some outside factor has taken his attention so the only time he's able to visit is while we're asleep.

And the whole night of the reveal feels like a fever dream when we wake up but there's a blanket draped over us and a fuzzy little kitten purring up a storm on our chest (in my heart his name is Bean (short for Toebean)), so we're at least kind of sure it happened. But as the time passes with no sign of Jason our certainty begins to wane and until we finally get fed up and write on the notepad the first thing we've asked for since that night: "You."

Or something like that idek okay I've been over here clawing at my walls frothing at the mouth I never really even liked ak!Jason before reading your stuff and now I'm feral for him and its all your fault and I'm not even mad about it

A Glimmering Collar

AKA Part Two of this series. Ahh, nonnie, you literally cooked with this. I love when my fics inspire people enough to keep thinking on them! Seriously, ty for dropping these ideas in my inbox cause I had nothing going on in my brain for a part two initially. Hope you enjoy!

~2.6k words

You wake up to something tickling your nose. Your body feels heavy, your mind even more so. Nothing in you is ready to open your eyes, to face the fact that last night could all have been a dream. That he isn't– that was just a dream.

Something soft flicks your nose again, and you force your eyes open. You blink hard once. Then twice. It's a kitten. It's tiny, and it's sitting by your face. Every few seconds, its tail sways and brushes your nose.

Oh. You sit up slowly, trying not to frighten the small thing. It looks at you contently over its shoulder and meows. The kitten stretches as you stare at it, then plops itself directly on the blanket resting over your lap.

Huh. There's a blanket you definitely don't remember grabbing sprawled over your legs. You carefully reach down to pet the kitten's head. Your heart melts a little when it nuzzles your fingers and purrs.

You look around the room slowly. Nothing else looks different. The notepad is still in place, but the kitten and blanket all point to one thing. Last night was real. Jason is alive. Jason is the Arkham Knight.

You're trying to wrap your brain around that when the door flies open, nearly making you jump out of your skin.

"Good morning!!" A flurry of voice call from the doorway. Your eyes widen as three brightly dressed people strut their way into your apartment, "Are you ready for your shopping trip, hun?"

"My– excuse me?" You stumble out, tucking the kitten to your chest as you stand.

They giggle, and one of them steps forward, "Your shopping trip, sweetie! And spa day, of course. Oh, ha, we haven't even been introduced, have we? I'm Krystal with a K, she's Destini with an i and he's Robbi also with an i."

Robbi huffs and walks up to you to pet your kitten, "Why can't you ever introduce Destini second? She can be Destini also with an i, ya know."

The other girl walks up to you as well and picks affectionately at your clothes, "Because it's alphabetical that way, Robbi. Now you better go get dressed, we have brunch reservations and mimosa plans!"

"I– sorry? What?" You ask, eyes darting between the three of them. Whatever this is, you can't keep up. You've barely processed Jason kidnapped you, and now you're supposed to go get a massage and drinks?

"The boss wants you to go out," a flat voice cuts in. You're the only one that stiffens at the sight of two large men stepping through the door.

Krystal speaks up, "We're here to make sure you have a good time! And Mack and John are here to keep us safe!"

"Mack and John," You echo weakly.

"Your body guards, silly," Destini chirps, ushering you to your room. She plucks the kitten from your hands, "Now get dressed! Wear something nice!"

You stare at the door as she shuts it. What just happened? You hear them chattering happily in the kitchen, idly talking about pregaming your shopping trip.

Your whole mind is a mess, and you sluggishly get ready, thoughts whirling. You've barely talked to soul since you were kidnapped, and now you have five new names to remember, a kitten, and a day out.

You're not exactly sure if you should be unsettled or grateful at how quickly Jason worked to get you what you asked for. By the time you've opened your bedroom door, Krystal, Destini and Robbi are passing around a flask, and playfully trying to get your 'bodyguards' to drink it.

You wonder what they must think of all this. Who they think you are. You're struck with the realization that Jason must be paying them to entertain you today.

You don't get to linger on the thought before Robbi hooked his arm with yours, dragging you towards the door, "Let's gooo, the brunch place we're going to does the best pineapple mimosas. Or cherry, if that's your thing."

"Wait," Mack– or John, you're not exactly sure which one is which– stops you, "Boss wants you to wear this."

The girls and Robbi coo in awe when Mack opens a box, revealing a glittery, jaw-dropping choker. You waver at the sight of it. It's not that it doesn't match what you're wearing. You'd dressed up like Destini suggested, but it feels like some kind of trap.

You reluctantly pick up the necklace, eyeing how it catches the light, "Is it– are sure it's safe to wear this out?" Safety isn't really what you're concerned about at the moment.

You're more worried about the crushing weight that this means more than you understand.

John nods once, "There won't be any problems."

Krystal happily plucks the necklace from your fingers, and before you have time to argue, she drapes the necklace around your throat. "It's beautiful, hun. Just like you. Let's go get you something to eat," her voice is soft, measured, and full of so much understanding it makes you want to cry.

You don't know much they know, but when she hooks her arm with yours to guide you out the door, you have a feeling there's more awareness than their bubbly attitudes let on.

The day ends up being wonderful. Being around people, out under the sun (the sun Gotham does get), was rejuvenating. You had fun, joked, smiled, and for a day, it was almost like you didn't have a prison cell to go back to.

The food was delicious, the spa relaxing, and you didn't have to carry back a single bag. Krystal had flashed a black card at every payment, every place ever could want to shop at, reassuring you it's all been taken care of.

But the time you've collapsed on the couch, exhausted but content, the uneasy feelings from this morning are gone.

You settle on the cushions to wait for Jason. To thank him for listening or to yell at him for still keeping you here, you're not exactly sure yet.

But he doesn't come, you fall asleep in your expensive necklace and pretty clothes with one hand petting your kitten. He doesn't come the next day either, at least not while you're awake, but Krystal, Destini, and Robbi do.

Your friends, the people being paid to entertain you are nice, perfect even. They're exactly what you would have asked for.

Your kitten is perfect too, it cuddles with you at night and nuzzles under your chin after you're left alone, when the unease finds its way back to you.

It's been days since you've seen him. It's starting to feel like a lifetime. You know he comes back after you fall asleep, he moves things. You think it's his way of showing that he listened, that he came back because you asked.

The notepad, the one you haven't written on since that night, shifts closer to you on the glass table if you sleep on the couch.

The glimmering choker gets pulled out of the drawer every time you try to put it away. Your kitten has a growing collection of toys and things to climb on.

It's obvious he's visiting, so why won't he let you see him? Day five of dancing around each other breaks you. You want to see him, want to talk to him, and understand. You want Jason.

Your hand shakes a little, when you go to write on the notepad, and when you wake up the next morning, the paper is blank again.

You wait. You wait some more. All day you wait for him. No one else comes. It's strangely quiet, with just you and your kitten. You've just about given up, collapsed in your bed, when the glowing whites of his helmet catch your attention.

You sit up quickly and throw your legs off the bed as you stare into the doorway, "You came."

"Did you mean it," he asks, any emotion he's feeling hidden by the aggravating modulator.

"Mean what," You question, standing off the bed to walk closer to him, "Will you take the mask off?"

He doesn't move for a moment, just takes in the sight of you. The silence that drags almost makes you regret the question, but he carefully pulls off his helmet, "What you wrote. That you wanted me."

"I– yeah, Jason. I haven't– it's been days since I saw you," You only notice mid sentence that his hand is reaching for your face, it makes your voice waver. "You never answered any of my questions," You finish weakly.

His hand stills and he drops it, "Questions. That's what you wanted?"

You nod a little, searching his face for any hint of what he's feeling, but he gives nothing away.

He sighs softly, and looks away, adjusting his helmet under his arm. You think he might look disappointed, "I can't give you the answers you're looking for."

"Why not," You question softly, worried to push him away.

Jason turns his focus back to you, "I just need you to stay here. Please," he sighs out your name, and his hand twitches as if to touch you, "Don't fight me on this."

"That's not fair," You mumble, "Why am I here, Jason? You know I would have listened if you came to talk to me instead of– this."

Silence falls again, and he steps past you into your room. He sets his helmet on your dresser and picks up the choker resting on the wooden surface, "I wish you would wear this. I picked it out for you."

"Jason," You start, tracking his movements.

"I know," he cuts you off, "but I told you, you don't need to understand anything." You stiffen when he steps back towards you and guides you to turn around.

The air leaves your lungs as his gloves brush over your skin. He sets the necklace around your throat, and even after it rests heavy against your skin, his touch lingers.

"You just need to stay here. It's safe. I've given you everything you've asked for, and everything you haven't," Jason says softly, stepping out from behind you. His gaze lingers on your neck for a moment, and the stifling, unexplainable feeling sets back into your gut.

Your words stick in your throat. There's a sense of danger, one that doesn't make sense. Jason wouldn't hurt you. Not the Jason you know. But is this the Jason you know? The thought makes you want to tear the choker from your skin and throw it at him.

"It feels like a collar," You say quietly, and your breath hitches when his gaze snaps go yours, "I mean, it's pretty. Really. But, it feels– like it's more," You stumble out.

He nods slowly, and he doesn't stop himself from touching you this time. His fingers trace the choker, linger over your collarbones, brush along your pulse, "Maybe it is."

You blink at him, every thought flying from your brain, "What?"

He hums softly, hooking a finger under the shiny jewels to draw you closer, "Does that scare you? Knowing that you can't leave? Knowing that no matter how pretty these are, it's just another way to keep you?"

"You wouldn't hurt me," you say instead, it sounds like you believe it, but you're not sure if you're trying to convince yourself or him.

"I don't want to," He admits, fingers leaving your throat to trail up your jaw, "but I probably could."

"I don't believe that. I remember–" He tuts, tapping your cheek. Your heart drops when you realize he's mirroring where his own brand is.

"I'm not what you remember," he says firmly, before whispering your name, "I'm not that Jason. Not really."

"Then who are you," You ask, even though you don't want to know the answer. You want to pretend he's still something you know.

His eyes dart over your face, then back down to the necklace, "I'm still Jason. But I'm also the Arkham Knight."

"What does that mean," You push, reach up to grab his wrist, demanding his attention, demanding real answers.

"It means that you stay. It means that I give you what you want. Everything and anything except leaving," he says, voice lowering to something kinder, gentler, "it'll make sense eventually. You'll be happy here. Safe."

"Will that make you happy?" You ask, fingers tightening on his wrist. Half of you wants to pull him away, stop him from tracing patterns over your cheek, but the other part of you wants to press his hand closer.

Something flicks in his eyes at your words, "Yes."

"Will it keep you safe?" You murmur, eyes locked on his.

He doesn't answer, clenching and unclenching his jaw for a moment, "Safety is an option I don't have."

"It could be, if you wanted it," You say, dropping his wrist. It must be true. Even with all the secrets he's keeping, his evasive disappearing act, he could take off the armor. Leave behind the new symbol engraved over his chest.

He laughs a little and swipes his thumb under your eye, "I'm glad that you don't understand. It's good, that they didn't twist you into something unrecognizable."

"Understand?" You prompt, unsettled by his laughter.

"That they need to pay. All of them do," he smiles a little, it's a mockery of the one you remember. Jason traces the choker one last time before stepping back.

"You're leaving," You say, not a question, a statement of fact. He's leaving, without explaining anything again.

"I am," he affirms, moving to grab his helmet.

"I want you to stay," You breathe out and he freezes in place.

He exhales softly and faces you again, "You don't know what you're asking."

"I do. I want you to stay," You repeat, reaching out to push his helmet back towards the dresser.

"And then what?" He asks lowly, a warning, "What do you expect to happen?"

It makes you waver, "I– I don't know. But it's what I want."

It's another long moment of nothing before he answers, gesturing towards the bed, "Go to sleep."

"You'll stay?"

He nods at your question, unceremoniously dragging the chair from your desk to your bedside.

"Is that going to be comfortable–" You begin, settling yourself in the bed.

"You're overthinking it," he mumbles, waving at you to lay down. You do, watching as your kitten jumps into his lap, curling up like this is something that happens all the time. (You have the feeling it is) "Have you named him," he asks quietly.

"The kitten? Mm, no. Wanted you to," You say softly, carefully not to unsettle either of them.

"I wouldn't be good at it," Jason protests, eyes flicking between you and the kitten.

"I don't mind," You murmur, "anything's better than 'kitten'."

He pauses, so quiet and still you think he won't answer, "Bean," he mumbles, reluctant as the newly appointed Bean cuddles into his armor.

You smile, "Bean's a good name."

He doesn't answer, seemingly engrossed with watching the kitten.

You take him in for another moment, memorizing his face before closing your eyes. It's not an accident that you leave your palm open and face up by the side of the bed.

There's no more pleasantries exchanged, no sweet goodnights or the gentle touches against your face you've grown used to. But just as you finally start to drift off, as darkness finally draws you to rest, a warm, rough hand weaves itself into yours and squeezes.

Part Three

[saturnznct]

how he acts when you're pregnant | enhypen x reader

➸ request from anon; heyy, I’m so happy you’re back! You’re fics were always my go-to if I wanted to read anything dad/pregnancy related, loved them all! can you please write about how enhypen would treat you during pregnancy, like their protectiveness, taking care of the reader, or when she’s having complications etc. 🤍

➸ note; hehe me too thank you so much!! that makes me so happy!! i don't love some of these but I hope they're what you wanted <3

➸ word count; 2335 words

➸ sangyoon, sam, ella, eunhye, yeeun, seren; in the womb lol

➸ warning(s); mentions of vomiting, implied sexy time, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, mentions of possible birth complications

enhypen masterlist

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

heeseung

Heeseung can’t take his hands off you.

You don’t know if it’s because you’re newlyweds, or if it’s because you’re pregnant, but he can’t stay away.

At least one hand is always somewhere on you, on your shoulder, around your waist, on your thigh or knee. 

At night, it doesn’t matter if it’s in the dead of summer, his arm is snaked around you and his head is buried in the back of your neck.

Once you reach your second trimester, and your bump becomes noticeable, Heeseung is always touching your bump, tapping it absentmindedly with his fingers, beaming from ear to ear when eventually he can feel your baby boy squirming underneath his touch.

Sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night to the push of feet against his palms, it made him smile every time.

Heeseung is also completely whipped for you, he’ll do anything you ask. 

Your cravings get intense, and he doesn’t complain when you wake him at three in the morning whining about salted popcorn with cheese on. And he goes to the store for you, every time.

Heeseung isn’t usually very sappy, but as soon as your bump pops up he’s the most sentimental soppy man in the world.

Every morning and night he talks to your bump about anything and everything. Even during the day he will randomly address the bump asking it questions.

‘Okay, little one,’ Heeseung sinks to his knees one morning, resting a hand on either side of your bump, ‘kick once for cornflakes. Kick twice for the chocolate cereal.’

You giggle, ‘you’re an idiot.’

‘I’m indecisive. This boy needs to pull his weight and help me. He’s already living here rent free for the next however long.’

You roll your eyes, going back to your own breakfast.

‘What do you think baby boy?’ Heeseung gently pokes at your bump attempting to illicit a response.

Eventually your son delivers a single kick, causing you to choke on your coffee. 

‘Unlucky,’ you laugh at his disappointed face, ‘cornflakes it is.’

‘I will evict him as soon as physically possible. How can he disrespect me like this in my own house.’

‘Can’t wait until he’s actually here,’ you murmur.

‘Me too,’ Heeseung kisses your bump before getting up to kiss your head and reach for the cornflakes.

jay

Jay isn’t too overbearing during your pregnancy. He’s not the type to constantly ask if you need anything, he will wait for you to ask him.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t anticipate your needs, you’ll come home from a late shift to find your pregnancy pillow already set up, your cravings are always fully stocked and there’s always plenty of bubble bath.

Where he does get somewhat intense is in public.

Jay constantly worries about harm coming to either of you. When you go shopping, he’s careful not to be recognised, wearing hats and glasses as to not to draw attention to you. In airports, his arm is always around you, guiding you around. 

So, when he’s on tour during your pregnancy and you come to visit, he’s on high alert.

‘Jay, I can walk around the venue by myself,’ you’re escorted into the dressing room by a security guard.

Jay pulls you into a hug, kissing the top of your head, ‘there’s lots of equipment around baby, what if you hurt yourself?’

You roll your eyes, ‘have I ever hurt myself backstage before?’

‘Let me look after you,’ he pecks your lips, ‘anyway, it’s soundcheck soon. There’s a nice chair set up for you beside the stage for the actual show as well-‘

‘Wait, I’m going to watch from backstage?’

‘Yeah, of course,’ Jay says, ‘going out there can’t be good for you, or the baby-‘

‘But you know I love being in the audience,’ you pout, ‘Jay, I want to be out there singing along with my lightstick just like everyone else.’

Jay tilts his head, ‘I don’t know, sweetheart, you’re so far along and the fans can be so intense…’

‘I’ll be in the stands with your managers, I’ll have so much space!’

‘I just have visions of you falling over or someone bumping into you..’

‘Please, baby,’ you pull out the puppy eyes, wrapping your arms around his waist, and you quickly see him crumble.

‘Fine, but minimal dancing,’ he taps your nose, ‘and a security guard.’

Just then, a stage runner knocks on the door, letting Jay know he’s needed for soundcheck.

‘Come on, I’ll take you to your seat.’ 

‘Jay!’

jake

When you first found out you were pregnant, Jake sort of panics a little bit.

You’re hunched over the toilet and throwing up he doesn’t really know what to do. This is completely new territory for him. Your early symptoms often have him incredibly flustered, you’re emotional, your boobs hurt and you’re constantly dizzy.

One night, Jake comes home from practice, and it’s like his instincts awaken when he sees you in the bathroom, on the floor sobbing.

‘Jake,’ you cry when you see him, and he’s instantly at your side on the tiles, ‘I can’t do this anymore.’

Jake takes you into his arms, letting you cry into his shoulder.

‘I know I haven’t been the most.. helpful,’ he murmurs, ‘but I know you, and you are so strong, and you can do this. And I will do everything and anything you need from me, okay?’

From then on, Jake is the most attentive boyfriend, and is very touchy. You don’t even have to ask, and he’s giving you a foot massage. You come home from work, and there’s already a bath run for you at the perfect temperature.

Once you’re four months in, your bump becomes noticeable, and Jake’s level of affection is just exacerbated. 

Every night he rubs your lotion on your bump, tells the bump about his day, and sleeping with his hand on it.

When you’re hormonal, he holds you.

‘Everything hurts, Jake,’ you sob, ‘all day. She’s been sitting on my spine all day, and I’ve been having braxtons, and my boobs hurt and they’re leaking, I tried to nap but I just couldn’t-‘

Jake from month one in your pregnancy would’ve freaked out at your outburst, but this Jake, in month seven, is calm and collected.

He runs you a bath, filling it with lavender bubbles. On your insistence, he gets in behind you, rubbing your back, shoulders and achy breasts.

’Is that better?’ Jake murmurs, the timbre of his voice sending a shiver down your spine and stirring up your hormones.

‘Much,’ you roll your head back against his shoulder, ‘you’re the best.’

He kisses your head, ‘how about we get out and go lay down?’

‘We can get out,’ you nod, ‘but can we do more than lay down?’

Jake grins cheekily, ‘incredible idea.’

sunghoon

For your whole pregnancy, Sunghoon is just filled with pride. He shows ultrasound photos to everyone and talks nonstop about your incoming baby girl to anyone that will listen.

Sunghoon becomes a bit of a pregnancy expert. Every book he can get his hands on, he reads cover to cover. He knows what to expect, what was abnormal and everything in-between. 

So Sunghoon did notice just how much you were needing to go to the bathroom. 

It was relentless. He would wake up several times a night to you wriggling out of his arms and padding into your ensuite. During the day, you’re constantly up and down needing to pee, when you’re driving you have Sunghoon pull into service stations constantly. 

He brings it up to your doctor at the next scan. Your doctor agrees that the rate of your bathroom trips are a little out of the ordinary, so he refers you for blood tests. 

‘Gestational diabetes,’ you read the words on the leaflet, slumped in the passenger seat of your car.

‘Y/N..’

‘This is my fault.’

‘Y/N, you heard the doctor. Sometimes these things just happen,’ Sunghoon rests a hand on your arm.

‘What if something happens to her because of this? I know he said that the risks were small, but what if?’ you begin to tear up.

’She was perfect on the scan the other day, remember? I’m going to help you through this. We’re going to get through this.’

Sunghoon stayed up all night that night reading article after article about gestational diabetes. You woke up the next morning to find a full google doc with meal plans, exercise routines and a schedule to check your blood sugars.

He happily did everything with you, eating the same meals and cutting down on sugar. 

On an evening, the two of you would go down to the pool in your apartment complex for a swim. You would slowly swim around while chatting, usually about the baby or work. 

‘You’ve made this so much easier for me,’ you stand over your daughter’s empty crib, damp hair occasionally dripping onto your bump, ‘thank you.’

‘It’s what I’m supposed to do,’ Sunghoon gently turns you around by your waist and kisses your nose, ‘as your husband and her father.’

‘We love you, Hoon.’

‘I love you too.’

sunoo

Sunoo feels totally out of his depth. 

Suddenly his fiancee is pregnant, something you never expected. He doesn’t know the first thing about pregnancy, and doesn’t know how to respond to your symptoms. He sort of just treats you as if you’re sick, bringing you soup and tea but keeping his distance. At the same time, you’re hormonal, and can’t understand why he’s staying away.

You worry he doesn’t want the baby, that he’s having second thoughts, or you’re bothering him too much with your requests. In reality, Sunoo is just so worried that he’s not being helpful, or that somehow he might hurt or upset you.

One night you’re laying in bed together watching TV in silence, you essentially lose it.

’Sunoo,’ you’re tearing up, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Why?’ he whips his head around to look at you, ‘for what?’

‘You’re just distant, and you keep away from me, I barely see you. If it’s me or the baby I would rather you just tell me-’

’No- no, that’s not it at all. I want you and the baby more than anything in the world.’

Sunoo is quiet for a few moments, ‘I’m sorry. I guess I’m just scared. I’ve been retreating into my head and haven’t been there for you like I should be.’

‘Sunoo, we need to talk to each other. I need to know how you feel. If we’re going to be parents, we need to be a team, we need to be in sync.’

‘I know, you’re right. I promise going forward I’ll be more open with you about how I feel.’

From then on, he’s obsessed with all things pregnancy and baby.

Every few days you’ll come home to a package addressed to you that you didn’t order, containing a weird pregnancy product that he saw on TikTok.

You and Sunoo talk constantly. You chat late at night in bed, in the morning on your balcony as the sun comes up, in the car on an evening, all about your excitement and fears surrounding the baby. 

Sunoo also becomes somewhat clingy, especially at night or when you’re in crowds. While before you were pregnant he would usually just throw an arm around you, now he sleeps completely pressed against you, his chest to your back.

‘I love you,’ he mumbles into your neck one night, ‘thank you for giving me my dream.’

jungwon

Your pregnancy with Serin is very turbulent. 

For the first half, everything is fairly smooth.

You get sick, and Jungwon holds your hair back. You have mood swings, he tries his best to be empathetic. 

Jungwon knows enough to understand that these things are par for the course, so he’s supportive but not too concerned about your symptoms. 

You were around halfway through your pregnancy when the less than normal symptoms began.

Jungwon would come home from practice to you sitting in a completely dark room. 

‘Why are you sitting in the dark?’

Your head was in your hands, unable to be lifted.

‘I have the worst migraine I think I have ever had,’ you whine, ‘I have taken as much paracetamol as I am allowed. I had a bath in the dark, put a cold cloth on my forehead. Wonnie it’s so bad, I can barely see..’

Jungwon holds you, massaging your head until you fall asleep hours later. 

When the headaches and vision problems persist, you make an emergency appointment. 

‘Bed,’ Jungwon practically pushes you up the stairs when you get home, supervising and making sure you were changing into comfortable clothes and getting under the covers. 

Your intense headaches turn out to be preeclampsia. Although at the moment Serin was measuring well, the doctor had warned you of the potential complications, including preterm labour or low birth weight. 

You’d been ordered to take strict bed rest. 

For the remainder of your pregnancy, Jungwon waits on you hand and foot. 

He’s suddenly fussing over you, messing with your pillows and cushions. He brings up your food on trays, eating every meal beside you. The two of you tear through countless shows on a plethora of streaming services. He holds you when you cry in frustration. He holds your hand when the doctor visits every week.  

‘Baby, it’s ready,’ Jungwon enters your bedroom, approaching the bed.

‘Really?’ you warm with excitement at the prospect of getting out of bed, ‘can I see?’

Jungwon helps you get up, wrapping an arm around your waist to help you walk. 

He leads you down the corridor and into your daughters nursery, which he, Jay and Heeseung had spent all day decorating.

‘Oh, it’s beautiful,’ hot tears spring to your eyes, ‘you guys.. It’s exactly how I imagined.’

‘She’ll be in there so soon,’ Jungwon lays a hand on the rail of the crib, ‘and no matter what happens, she’ll be fine.’

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

I wish I hated you

Summary: You never thought a family dinner would include the father of your children, but after you and Joel finally talk, things might slowly start to heal between the two of you.

Pairing: past Joel Miller x fem. reader

Wordcount: 3.9k

Rating: T

Warnings: angst, crying, talk about past shitty behaviour, more sorry's, beginning of moving on, feelings and their denial, more feelings, it's complicated cause these fools deep down love each other, food, regrets

A/N: It's been a while, but Part four is finally here. I was struggling with this but I finally have the idea for how to end this. One more part and we're done. Hope you enjoy this (and if not, don't tell me lol)

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part four of invisible string

Life in Jackson quickly became your new normal, apart from the fact that he was here too. 

Leo and Ana were thriving, going to school every day. They learned to write and to read and to count and they were excited to tell you about every little thing they had learned in school every time you picked them up. 

You already had a big collection of pictures they painted in class all around the house too. 

You had been in Jackson for almost four months now. 

You brother, being the more open one of the two of you, already had made a lot of friends. He was a trusted part of the patrol group and went out at least twice per week.

He also was officially dating Lauren, the school teacher as of the week before. 

And you?

You were… okay.

After the first two weeks of living in Jackson you had started the working rotation to find out how you could provide something to the community and you had been happy to now be working at the kitchen every morning to prepare breakfast and lunch service at the community hall. 

Cooking had always been your happy place.

You hadn’t really made any friends. 

You were working with Carl, Andy and Lisa in the kitchen, and you were going to weekly dinners at Maria and Tommy’s place. 

You and Tommy had a long talk shortly after you arrived.

He had told you how sorry he was for everything that happened. He felt guilty for leaving out of the blue, without telling you, knowing how bad Joel had been back then. 

But you weren’t mad at him, and you told him that. 

It wasn’t his responsibility to stay back just because his brother did. Tommy had believed he would find something better when he left with the Fireflies. And even though it hadn’t worked out with them, his life still changed for the better. 

Leo and Ana were ecstatic to have a little cousin in Sammy. Of course you had to explain what cousin meant, which also meant that Tommy became Uncle Tommy. A title he took with pride. 

Life was good. 

As good as it could be with anyone doing their best to not mention the big elephant in the room. 

Joel.

You hadn’t seen him more for a couple of moments since the morning he came to pick up your brother. That did not mean you had not heard about him though. 

Your brother Calvin apparently had been paired with him out on patrol a couple of times and you were more than surprised when Calvin asked you how or if he should answer when Joel asked him questions about you and the twins. 

Apparently after the first couple of almost silent patrols out, Joel had to began to ask about you on the latest patrol. Something that surprised you, if you were honest. 

You really didn’t think Joel was thinking about you. Even though he told you he was still in love with you all those weeks ago. 

How was the man who said all those cruel words to you when you needed him most still in love with you?

And why hadn’t you been able to stop thinking about him ever since that first night you saw him again?

He had not only hurt you, he had broken you. Had blamed the whole pregnancy on you alone, as if he wasn’t the one who had fucked you and had came inside of you. 

You were always on the verge between angry, hurt and longing when it came to Joel and you had no fucking clue what to do about it. 

So, after taking some time to think about your brothers question over what to tell Joel when he asked about you, you took matters in your own hands and had made the decision to talk to the man in question yourself. 

You had asked Maria where you would be able to find him and she had told you that he was working on a house on the other side of town together with Tommy for the week. Apparently the girl, Ellie, wasn’t feeling too well and Joel did not want to be on patrol until she got better. 

So on a rainy day, after you got your kids to school, you found yourself walking towards the house Maria had told you. It was Tommy you saw first when you walked up the stairs, his eyes widening in surprise before he nodded his head up, silently telling you that Joel was upstairs. 

You were thankful that the house seemed to be empty apart from Joel who you could hear hammering upstairs. Taking a deep breath you pulled your soaked rain jacket off, hanging it on a doorhandles downstairs, before you walked up. 

He must have not heard you walk up the steps, his back turned towards you as he knelt on the floor, hammering some floor boards. You approached him quietly, leaning with your shoulder against the doorframe of the door he was working in. 

It gave you some time to look at him. 

Noticing the changes in his appearance in the last six years. 

It seemed to you that he aged quite a lot since the last time you saw him. There was a lot more grey in his hair than you remembered. 

When you looked at his hands you found him wearing his wedding ring. The one you had put on his fingers, the one that he hadn’t worn much when you were still together. 

You were more than surprised that he still had it. 

He stilled for a moment before his head turned towards you, as if he had sensed you standing there. Surprised he raised his eyebrows before he put the hammer down, pulling himself up to his feet with a groan, his joints popping. 

You continued to look at him, now noticing the deeper lines around his eyes. 

He seemed nervous as he looked at you. 

„Calving told me you have questions,“ you said after a while.

„I do,“ he said with a small nod. 

„Why?“ You asked. 

„So I know that you and the… that you are okay. That you don’t need anything,“ he said. 

„You did not care about me when you told me to get the fuck out of your life,“ you said before you could stop yourself. He visibly flinched, closing his eyes. 

„I should have never said that,“ he whispered, looking at the ground as he shook his head. 

„No, you shouldn’t,“ you agreed. 

For a while the only sound that could be heard was the rain outside. 

„I revisit that day every single day and I can’t understand why I said those things,“ he said all of the sudden, looking up at you. 

„I can not understand why I treated you like I did. And I am not talking just about that night. I am talking about the whole time. Every time I told you that you deserve better, I meant it. I wasn’t… I am not what you deserve. I am broken. Maybe that’s why I kept lashing out at you. To make you understand.“

„It’s because of Sarah,“ you said and you could hear him take a deep breath, his eyes closing. 

Only saying this name had him shouting at you in the past, but you weren’t afraid of his reaction now. 

„You push everything and everyone away because you feel like it was your fault that Sarah died. And so you push everyone and everything away that could potentially hurt you like Sarah’s death did without realising that it is you how is hurting you,“ you said. 

A tear slipped down his cheek. 

„They ask about you,“ you said and he furrowed his brows.

„They ask about their Dad. In the community before they did not have an actual school, but the kids got to hang out three times a week and every time friends of them were picked up by their father, they asked about where their Dad was,“ you sighed. 

„What did you tell them?“

„That their father was out and looking for a better world for us,“ you whispered, blinking your own tears away. You looked at him with a sad smile. 

„They look so much like you. They both have your eyes and your curly hair. And your stubbornness,“ you said the last part with a small smile. 

Joel chuckled. 

„I’m sorry for that,“ he said with a head shake. 

„Can’t wait for them to be teenagers. It’s gonna be a ride,“ you said. 

Joel sucked his bottom lip in before he spoke.

„If you need help then, or… anytime really… I have some experience with moody teenagers. Sarah was…,“ a small smile sneaked to his lips, „Sarah could easily bribed with food. My Tacos to be specific. And since Tommy found a Taco press and there’s a whole field of corn currently growing….“

„I’ll keep that in mind,“ you said softly. 

Tommy called for help from downstairs and you sucked your bottom lip in. 

Joel grabbed his toolbox.

„We have dinner at Tommy’s place every Thursday,“ you said as he turned towards you again. 

He nodded. 

„If you like, you and Ellie could join us tomorrow,“ you said, before your brain could talk you out of it. 

„Are you sure?“

You huffed a laugh. 

„Not really. If I’m honest I am terrified of getting hurt again, but I am also tired of running. There is still this part inside of me, that wants you. That is and probably always will be in love with you. But while I figure this part of my feelings out, you can get to know your kids, if you’d like,“ you said.

He nodded slowly. 

„I’d really like that.“

You had never been more thankful to have found a friend like Maria. 

After telling her that you had invited Joel over for Thursday night dinner, you had freaked out immediately. Maria knew everything. You had told her you whole history with Joel after she had shown up with a bottle of wine on your doorstep a couple of weeks after you had arrived and you had spilled your feelings after two glasses of wine. 

Knowing your whole history with Joel did not help Maria’s dislike of him in the least. She judged him for the things he had done to keep the people he loved safe. How he made Tommy participate. And even though you could have just let Maria rant about him and his ways, you found yourself defending him. 

Something Maria could not understand in the beginning. 

How you could defend a man who killed, tortured, robbed and hurt people without any consequences. A man who hurt you so baldy you fled across the country while being pregnant. 

And logically she was right. There was no sane reason why you should be defending him. 

Then again, falling for the man in the first place was probably not the most logic decision you made all those years back. 

You just did.

So here you were, a glass of wine in your left hand while you „helped“ Maria cook dinner. You could hear Leo and Ana in the living room as they played with Tommy. 

Usually your brother Calvin would be here too, but it was his girlfriend's birthday to day and they had plans.

„You ready to forgive him? Just like that?“ Maria asked. 

You shook your head. 

„This is not about that. He’s their father,“ you whispered the last sentence. 

„And no matter how much of an asshole he was to me, I don’t want to stand in the way of them having a relationship, if he wants to have one,“ you said.

„I think he wants the whole package,“ Maria said, stirring the soup she had made.

You raised one eyebrow. 

„Joel came over to help Tommy fix the roof last weekend, and he stayed for dinner and some drinks afterwards. I overhead them talk about you from upstairs,“ she said quietly. 

„He is pretty damn determinate to win you back. Said he never loved anyone as much as he does still love you and that he’ll spend the rest of his life worshipping you on his knees if you gave him another chance,“ Maria said. 

„He said that?“ You asked. She nodded. 

„They were already some beers deep into the conversation, but yeah. I had my doubts, I still have them. But I can’t deny that the man is in love with you. And he’s a great father to Ellie, even though it’s complicated between them at the moment.“

Before you could react there was a knock on the door and you felt yourself tense up. 

Maria gave you a warm smile. 

„Better get out there, before Tommy tells them who exactly Joel is,“ she said and your eyes widened before you walked towards the door. 

Joel had been nervous many many times in his life. 

But nothing seemed to compare to the moment he knocked on the door of his brothers house, knowing you and his two kids, the kids he never met before, were waiting behind it. 

He had spent almost twenty minutes trying to find an outfit for himself, like this was some kind of date. Which technically it was. It was a date to meet his children for the first time. And the first step to hopefully earning your trust and forgiveness. So when he saw his blue flannel, the only piece of clothing that had survived all the way from Boston, your favourite shirt on him, it felt like it was a sign. 

„So these kids really don’t know who you are?“ Ellie asked next to him. He was more than glad she had agreed to come with him tonight. Though Maria cooking her favourite dinner might have been the real reason she agreed. 

Things with Ellie were still tense. 

And that was another thing he was to blame for. 

He should have told her the truth from the beginning. Not that it would have made the whole situation about Ellie feeling like she lost her purpose better, but at least he wouldn’t have lied to her. 

Lying to protect the people he loved seemed to be a pattern in Joel’s life, that he needed to work on too. 

„They don’t. I don’t know if or when she will tell them. So please don’t mention it. I know you’re not my biggest fan at the moment, but those kids should not have to suffer because of it, okay?“ He asked. 

Ellie rolled her eyes with a sigh. 

„Won’t spill the beans, promise,“ she said.

The door opened and Tommy grinned at them. 

„Fancy seeing you here,“ he said, Sammy on his arm who already made grabby hands towards Joel. He found himself smiling at his little nephew before he reached over to take Sammy from Tommy. 

„Yeah, Yeah. I was promised food,“ Ellie grumbled, pushing past the men.

„Still a ray of sunshine, huh?“ Tommy teased, rubbing through Ellie’s hair and she slapped his hand away with a long groan.

Joel followed them inside, closing the door behind him, Sammy still on his arm. His hands were clammy as he heard Ellie introduce herself to Leo and Ana. Sammy looked up at Joel, putting one tiny hand on his cheek, making raspberry lips. Joel find himself smiling, the nervous flutter in his stomach dying down a little. 

„Hi,“ he heard your voice and he turned his head as you walked out of the kitchen towards him. You were wearing what looked like a oversized black sweater that went to the middle of your upper thighs and a leggings beneath it. You looked cozy and he wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and….

„Hey,“ he said, interrupting his train of thoughts.

„You want me to go in with you? Introduce you?“ You asked. He found himself nodding.

„I am gonna tell them that you are Joel’s brother. Nothing more right now, okay?“ You asked again and he nodded again. 

„Okay,“ you said before you turned away from him, but he reached for you before he even realised he was moving, catching you by surprise, as he carefully wrapped his hand around your wrist. He could hear you little gasp as you turned back to him, your eyes searching his. 

„You look beautiful,“ he whispered squeezing your wrist.

He watched as you took a deep breath, your eyes slipping close for just a moment before you opened them and gave him a small smile.

The combination of seeing Joel wear the shirt you had gifted him for Christmas in 2014 and seeing him hold Sammy in his arms was a little overwhelming. 

But that was nothing compared to your body reacting to his touch as he told you that you looked beautiful. You flushed so hard, you were sure you could melt snow if you stepped outside. 

It was various kinds of fascinating that he still had that effect on you. 

Taking a deep breath as you turned away from him you walked inside the living room where Ellie was already sitting between Ana and Leo who were explaining their rules of Monopoly to them. Tommy had found a lot of boardgames on patrol a while back and borrowed it for tonight. 

You did not think playing Monopoly was a perfect bonding experience (it was war really) but who were you to complain?

„You gonna play too Mommy?“ Ana asked as she saw you, giving you those big pleasing puppy eyes she had from her father. 

„After dinner. I promise. But we play the official rules and no cheating like the last time,“ you said with narrowed eyes and Leo giggled. 

„Hi Ellie,“ you smiled at her and she gave you a small wave before she looked back at the game.

You took a deep breath.

„Remember that I told you that there would be guests tonight? You already meet Ellie, and this is Joel. Tommy’s brother,“ you explained to them. 

They both said Hi to him and you looked behind you finding Joel’s watery eyes on them. 

„You gonna play with us after dinner too, Mr. Joel?“ Ana asked with hopeful eyes. The dimple that mirrored Joel’s showing on her cheek as she smiled.

Joel cleared his throat and you found yourself stepping closer to him, hesitantly taking his hand.

He looked at you and you gave him a small nod. 

„I’d love to.“

It was way past the twins bedtime when you finished the second round of Monopoly. Against your hesitations, no family war broke out and Maria declared herself the winner, much to the disappointment of Ellie. 

It only took you three hours to understand why Joel was so protective of the girl. She was funny, smart and took no shit from anyone. 

Ana and Leo had been sleeping on the couch for at least an hour when you were helping to clean up the table.

„Can we… do this again?“ Ellie asked hesitantly while Joel was helping his brother in the kitchen to dry the dishes. 

„We do this every Thursday. You are always welcome to join, Ellie,“ Maria said.

„Cool,“ she nodded and you smiled, before you looked towards the couch, wondering how you would get those two kids home. 

„You think Tommy could help me get Leo home?“ You asked Maria.

„Why? We live on the same street. Joel can help,“ Ellie said before Maria could answer. Maria chuckled.

„She’s right, you know?“ Maria said. 

„I always am,“ Ellie said as she walked towards the door, calling one loud bye into the house before she stepped outside. 

There was a part of you that did not want this evening to end. 

It really felt like you were a family. 

After dinner the kids had went right into their first round of Monopoly, Tommy and Joel joining them as you had helped Maria in the kitchen. 

All you thoughts about this evening being awkward disappeared as you had come back into the living room to find Leo sitting in Joel’s lap, both of them grinning and plotting against Tommy who had Ana on his lap. 

You knew that both of the kids were so much like Joel. But seeing Leo and Joel like that made you realise that he really was a Mini version of Joel.

It made you wonder how the last years could have been if things had went differently. 

But maybe he just wasn’t ready for it back then.

„Thank you for dinner, Maria,“ Joel said as he walked back into the living room. 

„Yes, Thank you for dinner Maria,“ Tommy grinned as he went over to her, kissing her softly. 

„Oh by the way Ellie volunteered you to carry Leo home,“ Maria said towards Joel who raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

„Is that so?“ He asked with a chuckle.

„You don’t have to though. I can go ask Calvin…“ you began but he shook his head, walking towards the couch and carefully picked up Leo who, as if sensing it, put his arms around his neck, continuing to sleep soundly. 

You gulped, giving both Tommy and Maria a nervous smile before you walked to the couch, picking Ana up. She snuggled against your neck. 

„Good night,“ Maria and Tommy whispered, following you down the hallway to their door. 

„Good night,“ you whispered back, taking a deep breath before you followed Joel. 

Ellie must have went home already, leaving the two of you alone on the short walk to your house. 

„I can’t believe I voluntarily gave all of this up because I was such a coward,“ Joel said quietly as you walked into your street. 

„They are pretty awesome huh?“ You asked and you could hear the smile in his voice as he answered:

„They are everything.“

Once you were at your house you guided him upstairs and into the twins room. He carefully put Leo into his bed before he walked out of the room as you undressed them and put them into their pyjamas. Giving both of them a forehead kiss you walked out of their room, closing the door behind you.

Joel was nowhere to be found so you walked back down, finding him sitting on the porch steps outside. It had started to rain again. 

When you approached him you could hear him sniffling, your heart breaking. 

„Why don’t you hate me?“ He asked as you sat down next to him. 

„I pushed you away. I pushed my wife away, the only woman I ever truly loved. I pushed you away because I was scared to loose you. How fucking stupid can a person be? Why am I like this? I lost everything and rightfully so and yet here you are, giving me a chance to meet the children who I wanted you to…“ he stopped himself. You could see him shaking as he cried, his head lowered, his face hidden behind his hands. 

Hesitantly you let your head fall on his shoulder, one of your hand coming to rest on his knee. 

„I wish I hated you,“ you whispered;

„But I just can’t stop loving you.“

[gatorbites-imagines]

Um... uh... um... would you willing to do a threesome with logan, steve rogers and X-men? reader. I think they will have an interesting dynamic or you could just add this to your kinktober list. (Btw i love your fics they made me happy and also i hope you have a nice day)

Steve Rogers x mutant male reader x Logan Howlett

Headcanons

Im guessing you mean the mutant reader from the two different things ive written with steve? Hes who Im going with at least. As a reminder to anybody who hasn’t read the other two things, the readers hero name is Titan. Not crazy detailed, but I hope its still good anyways.

You can read the other parts here and here

As mentioned in the other parts. You are, were? An X-man. X-men? You were part of their team, on and off for the years between your loss of Steve and you getting him back.

You still helped them out on the regular, going on missions where they needed a guy who couldn’t be knocked down. And yes, you did tell them everything you figure out about SHIELD and the government. You aren’t loyal to the government at all, especially since they wan to use or get rid of mutants like yourself.

You used to have a thing with Logan, but honestly, who in the x-men hasn’t had a thing with Logan at this point? You’ve joked once or twice that he’s like a bowl of mashed potatoes at thanksgiving, or a blunt at a party. Somehow his gruffness charms a lot of people.

If you weren’t so sure in your relationship, you might have been jealous when his gruffness charmed Steve too. But you knew Steve was yours and no one else, but it didn’t stop you from letting him prove it to you every now and then.

You still flirted with Logan when you went on missions together. As the only guys older than everyone else and with insane healing factors like you did, you two bonded.

It also quickly caught your eye how your boy would glance at you two. It really shouldn’t have surprised you to see Steve floundering a bit when it came to Logan. You two were so damn alike sometimes you could see Steve accidentally saying “yes sir” when Logan told him to do something.

Logan noticed it too pretty damn quickly. But for him it was more the fact that he could smell Steves interest and arousal with his heightened senses.

Logan might be an asshole most days, and he had his whole thing with Scott and Jean, but he did ask you how you felt about it, what you wanted to do and whatnot.

Like mentioned earlier, you were sure and secure in your relationship. You knew you wouldn’t lose Steve no matter what you did, and yeah, it did entertain you to watch your pretty boy stumble every now and then.

In the end you and Logan agreed to just keep it up to see where it all went. And it wasn’t like Steve saw Logan a whole lot, at least before. But now you found yourself inviting the x-men to the tower for drinks or whatever else you two got up too.

Steve tried to stay polite and leave you two to hang out together as the old friends you were, but you quickly pulled him into it. mainly because you and Logan liked to watch him blush as you both borderline purred at him.

The flirting kept up over time, and you and Logan had thought it was going in the right direction as Steve became somewhat receptive. That was until Steve one night burst into tears, burying his face into your chest as he apologized.

He was so ashamed of finding another man attractive and flirting with somebody else, he was so so sorry, he would never do it again, please forgive him. He loves you so much, it doesn’t mean anything.

It leads to you having to comfort and kiss him, rocking your lover as you explain what you and Logan had been up too, because you thought Steve would enjoy it. turns out Steve hadn’t picked up all the pieces like you thought, and had felt so bad, imagining that you’d leave him for being disloyal.

Of course, you quickly fix up that misconception, and explain everything to him. And you also had to tease him a little when his face reddened, and his pupils blew when you mentioned your past with Logan.

Youd save those stories for another day, when you needed to get him hot and bothered.

In the end you have to explain Steves reaction to Logan, since none of you wanna make anybody uncomfortable or step on anybodies toes. You both feel pretty bad about it, which is why you also agree to pamper Steve from then on.

Steve is obviously your partner and lover and has been since the 40s, meaning he’s most affectionate with you. He also wont kiss Logan on the lips, wanting it to only be with you.

Logan isn’t offended by this, he knows he’s just a third wheel in your bed, and he’s sure of himself enough to not mind. Logan is happy to get down between Steves thighs instead and lick him out as you kiss him, putting his best into it so you both can listen to Steve keen and whimper.

You two had had a few threesomes before, and yeah, it had been with Bucky every time, so this was new. But there’s a reason Logan is the x-mens shared bicycle. Dude knows what he’s doing, and boy is he skilled.

Any other time, you might have been a little jealous of somebody making your lover moan like that, but knowing it’s just Logan helps. Plus, getting Steves mouth all to yourself is pretty damn good too.

It takes a lot of work to open Steve up, his healing factor making him tighten up over time. His healing factor is nothing compared to the powers you and Logan share, but its close enough that you both know what to do.

Which means the first hour is spent on just pampering, touching and kissing on Steve as Logan works him open and pushes his way inside.

At this point Steve is a teary-eyed shivering mess as he whimpers and moans, his body quivering as Logan pulls him into his lap so you can slot up behind Steve. You and Logan aren’t small in the compartment that matters, so it takes a while to fit yourself inside Steve too, your lover throwing his head back and arching his back beautifully at the new experience.

You and Logan pretty much just sit back as Steve slowly rides you, his hands gripping Logans shoulders hard enough to bruise, even if the bruises fade almost immediately.

Steves hair a mess sticking to his forehead with sweat, his lips bitten red as his strong thighs shudder as he slowly lifts and lowers himself. When he gets too embarrassed, the blonde turns his head around to kiss you again, not wanting the two of you to hear his noises.

It being his first time doing something like this, means neither you nor Logan feel annoyed or sad that Steve spills so easily. The hour or more of prep also left him already teetering on the edge, his voice cracking as he sobs through the orgasm, thank yous spilling from his lips as he couldn’t help but thank you both for doing this with him.

Neither of you x-men got to cum, but in a situation like this it didn’t really matter, you got enough satisfaction out of getting Steve like that.

You end up on cuddle duty, lifting Steve into your arms as Logan expertly changes the sheets and blankets, letting you lay down with Steve before going off to find whatever else your lover might need.

Steve gasps a few times as Logan wipes him clean and makes him drink some water, praise falling from both your and Logans lips, telling Steve how good he did, how beautiful he is, and so on and so forth.

In the end you kinda have to bully Logan into bed with you two. He isn’t just a bootycall expected to leave the moment you guys have had your fun. Plus, Steve wants to lay squeezed between you two more than anything.

Steve ends up dozing off pretty damn quickly, exhausted but oh so satisfied. Logan and you just end up talking about whatever, before you put on some movie from the 70s you both like, the comforting rumble of your voices only putting Steve deeper to sleep.

[theredcuyo]

Huh

You know those AU/fics where the kids met earlier?, like, Dick is just old enough for Damian to be a baby kind of situation and somehow they all met and get adopted within no time from each other and all that

Well, i think the perfect dynamic for a fic will be this one:

Dick

He wasn't happy at first. At all. He went from a life of a single child to older brother of like 4 or 5 now?? In like, less than a year.

He didn't even have time to adjust to Jason before he found little Tim following him around in patrol. Not time to get around that little stalker child before Jason found a lost girl in need of help who couldn't talk. No time to even get a hold of signs when Talia came to drop a baby on Bruce.

The worst part? While he can't get around it, because he's still dealing with his grief, and anger, and why does it seem like B gets tired of his last child every week, where does that leave me, And why do this kids that i barely know look at me with eyes that say they'll follow me to hell and back-

That's the thing, his new sibblings follow him like newborn duckies, they observe and copy, and do everything he does except to leave him alone. And he's not sure how to feel about it.

He's overwhelmed with all the attention, with how this house that used to be silent has become anything but that.

And also, he can't go up to the chandeliers now. The babys try to follow behind him and he knows that non experienced people shouldn't do that. That also sucks.

Wally is making fun of him. That's one sibbling for every time you complained about not having any, he says.

He gets used to them as time goes on tho, he couldn't imagine a day without Jason coming to his room to tell him an over the top sight into the book he mentioned to have to read for class.

He can't imagine not to see tiny Tim bright up every time they see each other in the hallway.

He even forgets to actually talk sometimes instead of signs because Cass just wants to spend so much time with him and they both practice the signs a lot.

Damian is the weirdest baby ever, but he's the only member in the family who doesn't complain about being hugged for long times, at least not yet, so that's cool.

Jason

He's just happy to be here.

He didn't knew what exactly a family was, and when he found out there was another kid there, he felt a bit more safe, they could team up if it was necessary to protect themselves against the adults.

The closest thing he had to sibblings before where other kids in the streets that helped each other out, the older kids got jobs at convenience stores and sometimes they'll leave out food for them, you had to protect the youngest.

He was happy to have an older brother, and Dick clearly knew what he was doing, so everything was good.

And then he found Tim inside a trash can when he was allowed in a recon mission. He was so, so tiny, like the other kids he had met, and he knew the little thing needed protection from the world. He also had a camera with pictures of B and Robin, and that was probably important.

But whatever, two sibblings instead of none now had to be a jackpot! He did feel bad sometimes about B getting tired of him because of Tim, but, at the same time, he loved that little gremlin so much he could forget about it.

Until he wasn't so sure when Tim found a lost girl wandering around town. (He isn't Even allowed to go out alone, whats wrong with him?) don't take him wrong, Cass is great, she joins them in pranks and in spying on Dick, but she also doesn't let him forget that she's older than him (just a few months damn it!) but it's just-

She's just so much better than him too. She can't read, he has her on that, but that's all. She's stronger than him (she beated his ass in training at least twice now), she's faster, she doesn't cause problems, She's smarter than him for fucks sake.

So, why-

Why would B still want him around with this kind of upgrade?

It's not like he can ask tho, B is been very busy since that lady came to give him a baby. Literally.

And, sure, Damian is a weird ass baby, the only one he's seen that doesn't cry for most things. But he likes the little guy, he just hopes he'll still be here by the time he learns how to walk.

Tim

Tim didn't expect to be caught. He also didn't expect for it to be the new kid who found him, and as if there was anything else to surprise him with, said child auto proclamed himself as his big brother from now on.

He didn't knew if his parents will like that, because the didn't like children, not even him sometimes, but when they came back the next week and the police arrested them for working with black mask and tax evasion they didn't even ask to see him, or tried to when he reached out, so he couldn't ask.

Jason did become his brother tho, when Mr. Wayne adopted him after that, the same Mr. Wayne he knew was Batman. Huh.

Well, anything was better than an empty house, and now Robin was his-

OH GOD ROBIN IS HIS OLDER BROTHER NOW.

FUCK HIS PARENTS. HE LIVES WITH HIS HERO NOW. HE WILL OUT AS MANY CRIMES OF THEM AS NECESSARY.

Tim was overjoyed to know this. Everything was nice, Dick was cool, he didn't talk much with them, but he's Robin, nothing's cooler than that.

And Jason does spend time with him, he loves beating his ass in maro kart.

And then he found Cass when he went out to buy a new camera, he wasn't allowed to go out alone, but it wouldn't be for long, they wouldn't notice surely.

They did notice, but the good thing was that it saved him from taking Cass home on his own.

She's nice too. He never had a sister (or brother too) before, but he likes her, she helps him find hide spots around the manor.

Who he doesn't like a bit is the baby. That Demon spawn.

First he appears out of nowhere. Second, he only seems to cry when someone is talking to Tim.

What is wrong with that thing.

He also follows him around for some reason, and grabs his shirt, but if Tim tries to look at him or hold him he cries. Really, what's wrong with this baby?

Like, sure, Bruce did have him by accident, and so did Tim's parents, but the fact that Damian's did want to keep him around and pay attention to him didn't give him any right to be like this.

It's not like he's better than them, B adopted them all out of a sense of duty.

Cass

Suddenly, communicating is a thing.

If she has something to say it's that she's happy. She got a baby brother, two actually. And a Big brother. And then a very baby brother.

And a Dad that loves her. And a granpa that feeds her anything she wants except for burgers. But dad buys her a burger in the secret if she tells him.

She likes spying on Big brother. She likes learning to read with baby brother big, and to hide with baby brother tiny.

She likes to stare at very baby brother. He stares back.

So everything is good.

She's happy.

Damian

Baby Damian tolerates his family. He let's Dick hug him, and Jason carry him around talking about who knows what until he falls sleep.

And gets into staring contests with Cass.

But the one he really likes is Tim. He likes to have his attention, and he doesn't like when he doesn't have it.

But he also doesn't like to fully have it, he gets overwhelmed.

Basically, baby Damian wants Tim's attention but not too much.

The family also makes a bet on who will make Damian laugh first.

They all lose when it's Tim, even Tim loses because he had all his money on Dick.

Because apparently, his presence comforts him when he misses Talia.

[corrodedcoffinfest]

Welcome to Corroded Coffin Fest!

This is a fanworks challenge/event that is all about Corroded Coffin. It will take place from July 1st thru July 31st.

Thanks so much for showing interest in this event during this post! If you have friends that you think would like to participate, please considering reblogging this announcement!

The calendar of prompts is located here:

Since there are so many events going on (and we love to see it!) we've decided to set a word count range for this event, so the love can be spread around to more events.

GUIDELINES:

Ideas for works include: fic, art, gifsets, fanvids, moodboards, edits, playlists, or anything else you can think of to celebrate Corroded Coffin!

For fics, there is a word count minimum/maximum of between 300-1000 words per drabble. We'll use wordcounter.net to check the word counts before reblogging, so make sure you stick to that range!

Do one prompt, do them all. Hell, do them all twice! It's totally up to you. You can pick and choose what you're interested in. And we're not going to police how you interpret the prompt. Just use them as a jumping off point to be inspired by the boys of Corroded Coffin, and then share that inspiration with us! (Not everything has to be band related, we encourage you to explore other parts of their lives, too!)

Submissions can absolutely be connected to other prompts from the event, or even past works, but should still be able to stand alone each day.

Every morning a new prompt card will go up, reminding everyone of what that day's prompt will be.

All submissions should include any pairings featured, content rating and any content warnings (CW) or tags that you think are appropriate. Please put the prompt you are fulfilling as well, just to keep things straightforward. A sample could look something like this:

Prompt Day 9: The Hideout, Word Count: 666, Rating: M, Pairing: None, CW: Underage Drinking, Recreational Drug Use, Tags: Corroded Coffin, First Gig, Partying, Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, Freak, The Hideout

Also, please consider putting any explicit material under a read more cut, because anything rated E that's not hidden under a cut will not be reblogged.

For the artists! Your art submission must be posted on the same day as the current prompt in order to be reblogged by this blog. Your piece of art (or other creation) must be Corroded Coffin focused, using any combination of the guys, together or solo. Of course, other characters can be included, too! But you need to have at least one of the CC band members in it for it to count for this event. Thank you!

All ships are welcome, as long as they include at least one member of Corroded Coffin: Eddie, Jeff, Gareth & Freak. (Who I look forward to learning the name of from you all, time and time again!)

Please tag us here @corrodedcoffinfest when you post your work for the day so we can reblog it!

Be respectful of your fellow participants and readers. We're all here to have fun and share the love of all parts of Corroded Coffin.

Definitely feel free to ask me anything if the rules weren't clear in places, or if I straight up forgot something (or if you just have anything else you'd like to ask). You can send an ask/message to this blog or reach out to @thisapplepielife.

Please submit your post by 11:59 PM EDT on the day of the prompt in order to not be missed for reblogging.

 If posting on AO3, please feel free to use the collection associated with this event: Corroded Coffin Fest AO3 Collection after your submission has been reblogged by this account.

Most importantly, have fun! We can't wait to see what Corroded Coffin fanworks come out of this new event!

More info below, including full prompt list with jumping off suggestions, the warm-up rounds for April, May & June, and a spreadsheet you're free to use:

PROMPTS:

JULY 1ST - FIRSTS

First gig, first check, first award, first...anything.

JULY 2ND - IN THE BEGINNING

How did Corroded Coffin come to be?

JULY 3RD - BEST FRIENDS

Who are the best friends in the band in your head? Let's find out.

JULY 4TH - EDDIE

We all know Eddie. Let's hear some more about him today.

JULY 5TH - ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Get them out on the road, in any way you see fit.

JULY 6TH - HEARD IT IN A LOVE SONG

Let's have some romance. Any pairing(s) that tickle your fancy.

JULY 7TH - CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, C'MON

Let them celebrate! Maybe that's a birthday/holiday/celebration show. Maybe it's a wedding, etc.

JULY 8TH - BAND POLITICS

Fight! Fight! Fight! Not everything goes smoothly all the time.

JULY 9TH - THE HIDEOUT

Catch them there, every Tuesday, playing for five drunks.

JULY 10TH - PRIDE

Let's see them celebrate Pride! Or let's see them be proud, etc.

JULY 11TH - JEFF

Let's spend some time with the guitarist of Corroded Coffin.

JULY 12TH - OW!

Injuries happen. Tell me more.

JULY 13TH - SEX, DRUGS & ROCK N ROLL

Tell us about the seedier parts of being in a band! 18+ for adult content, please!

JULY 14TH - AND THE WINNER IS...

It's time for awards season. Do they win? Lose? Let us know.

JULY 15TH - LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT

Press Tour/Interviews. Sometimes they need to promote themselves.

JULY 16TH - STRUGGLING

They're working their asses off, grinding it out, but they haven't hit the big time yet. Or they're struggling in other ways...

JULY 17TH - "THIS ONE'S FOR YOU"

Dedicate a song to someone special.

JULY 18TH - FREAK (GRANT, FRANK, GOODIE, ETC.)

Whatever name you given him, let's all focus on the bassist of Corroded Coffin.

JULY 19TH - IN THE GARAGE

Get them in the garage. Band practice, fixing the van, etc.

JULY 20TH - UNDER THE COVERS

Let them cover some real songs. Or, you know, get under the covers in another way...

JULY 21ST - HATE THIS TOWN

Hawkins. How was it dragging them down? Or, maybe they hate LA...

JULY 22ND - ALTERNATE UNIVERSE (AU)

Use your imaginations and put them into a whole new world!

JULY 23RD - UP AND COMING

They're finally gaining a little traction. Or maybe they're up...and coming. *wink wink, nudge nudge*

JULY 24TH - BEHIND THE SCENES

What's it take to get this show on the road? Or, what are they really like, off-stage? Let's get a peek behind the curtain.

JULY 25TH - GARETH

Bang them sticks! Let's catch up with the drummer of Corroded Coffin.

JULY 26TH - TOUR DATE

Let's focus on a specific show.

JULY 27TH - YOU'LL BE IN MY HEART

Navigating love while on the road.

JULY 28TH - BACK TO INDIANA

Let's go back to Hawkins and/or Indiana. Send these boys home.

JULY 29TH - BEHIND THE MUSIC

You know there's drama. A story. Probably enough for VH1 to come knocking.

JULY 30TH - FAME & FORTUNE

They've made it big! Now what?

JULY 31ST - YOUR SONG

A Corroded Coffin song? A work inspired by a song? A song that makes you think of Corroded Coffin?

WARM-UP ROUNDS:

Let's get a little practice before the full event in July!

Here's a prompt each month leading up to the event to work out the kinks and get in the rhythm of it all!

APRIL 15TH - TAXED

It's tax day. Do they need to pay their taxes? Is this a write-off? Or, are they just taxed from being on the road? Tax them.

MAY 15TH - GET A JOB

Put 'em to work. First jobs, side hustles, etc. Surely they've had some other jobs besides being in the band. Tell us about them.

JUNE 15TH - BAND ON THE RUN

Are they late for a gig? Running from monsters in the Upside Down? On a tour from hell?

Same guidelines as the full event will apply.

SPREADSHEET:

If you'd like a spreadsheet to help you keep track of the prompts and your progress, here's the one I personally use for other events, and will be using myself for this event. If you'd like to use it yourself, just go to File>Make a Copy and you'll get a version you can edit in your own Google Sheets.

Thanks for showing interest in having a Corroded Coffin event this year! ❤️🦇🖤 - @thisapplepielife (and thanks for the help and adding to the prompt list, @wormdebut!)

[aniesvision]

wanna bet? (chris sturniolo x f! reader)

part 3!

click to read part 1 and part 2

warnings: enemies to lovers trope!, teasing, suggestive, smut!, being a bit possessive over here (just a lil bit tho), p in v, no protection (don't do this), a bit of praising, happy ending!

a/n: wanna bet? is now over :( it was fun to write it, i wanna do more long fics. im also not sure if some parts made sense but i tried. friendly reminder that english is not my first language!

synopsis: matt and nick are back! and now the bet thing is (almost) over, in the end it turned out way different than they expected.

🪻🪻🪻

He rolls his eyes and I giggle. We took our baths, almost innocently. Nothing else happened, and we even talked like normal people do. We got out of the bathroom, got dressed and went upstairs to the living room, where Nick and Matt were, sitting on the couch. They looked at each other suspiciously and then back at us.

-So you're all alive...? —Nick asks, confused to see that we both arrived together, from Chris's room, with wet hair.

-Yes, Nick, we're alive. —Chris replies, sounding annoyed.

-Wait, since when are you guys here? —I ask, remembering the bet.

Maybe I won, even if it doesn't matter anymore.

-About forty minutes, I think. —Matt replies, suspicious.

I look at Chris, who covers his face with his hands and lets out a deep sigh.

- I love you guys so much. —I say to Matt and Nick while laughing at Chris's reaction.

-You guys made me win a bet and now he has to do everything I want for a week. —I explain quickly, seeing Chris look at me a little stressed.

-I thought we agreed that this bet was no longer worth it.

-You thought you had won and I accepted your request. And now you'll have to accept mine. —I look at him intently, trying to send him a message that only he would understand by the way I looked at him.

He looks at me slightly confused, but didn't say a word, knowing that we'd discuss it later.

-Can someone explain? —Nick asks, confused and wanting to know what was going on.

Matt also looked at us confused, but not so interested in knowing like Nick was.

-We made a bet, if he won I would owe him one, if I won he would do everything I wanted for a week. Then we thought he had won, he already made the request he wanted and I accepted it, now we saw that I was the one who won for a short time, so thank you very much.

Chris rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh, watching me intently with an expression that could almost confuse me with anger if I didn't know exactly what he was doing. I walk a few steps to the side, getting closer to Chris and whispering in his ear.

-You'll have to make me cum at least twice every day for the entire week.

He holds his smile, biting his cheek and locking his jaw, taking his eyes off me and walking to the couch, sitting in the middle of the brothers. Without saying anything, I walk to the kitchen, taking a can of pepsi that the boys brought and sit down next to Nick, who took turns looking between me and Chris, still not understanding much.

-You're not telling me what happened while we were gone? —Nick looks straight at me, hoping I'd tell him all the details, but this time I couldn't say anything.

It would be better and funnier to keep it a secret for now, just as I agreed with Chris.

I open the can, taking a few sips and looking at my friend with a smile.

-Nothing happened, we just made a bet and fought as usual. And I won, so I'm going to make sure this is a very long week for Chris.

I look at Chris with a sarcastic smile, who just looks at me without reaction and turns his gaze to Matt, bringing up some random subject. I knew he was probably making a giant effort not to look suspicious and I was holding myself back from laughing.

-You guys are weird. —Nick says, rolling his eyes and ignoring the situation. I felt relieved that he didn't insist on knowing more, not knowing if I was going to be able to keep this character under pressure for long.

I pick up my phone and start to mindlessly navigate through social media, distracting myself and talking from time to time with Nick. The hours went by and it was already super late.

-I think I'll go to bed, you coming? —Nick asks.

The two of us always shared his bed when I slept at their house. I was supposed to leave today, but I ended up staying late without even realizing it and didn't want to drive home alone.

-I'll go later.—I give him a smile and he smiles back, walking up the stairs to his room.

Matt had already locked himself in his room a few minutes ago, so once again it was just me and Chris in the living room. He looks at me intently, as if afraid to say something. I get up from the couch, glancing at him before going to the kitchen and throwing the empty pepsi can in the trash. Without saying anything, Chris followed me and turned my body so that I could look at him. Our gazes met and he took turns between my eyes and my lips before pulling me in for a long and heated kiss.

-My room. —He says, guiding me down the stairs again by the hand and locking the door as soon as we pass through it.

He kisses me again, already running his hands over my body until he takes off my shirt and throws it on the floor once again.

Soon enough our clothes were back to the floor and he was on top of me, aligning his dick with my entrance and thrusting all of him at once, making sure to cover my mouth with his hand to prevent me from moaning loudly as he starts to move faster and deeper.

-Fuck, you're so hot, I'm glad you're all mine now. —He whispers in my ear.

I close my eyes and bite my lips to prevent myself from moaning too loud, letting out a few hisses from time to time. Chris uses his hand that previously covered my mouth to trace circles on my clit, making me grip his hair and arch my body, begging for more.

-Chris, fuck, don't stop, please. —I plead, between moans, seeing him smile and increase the speed even more.

I left scratches that would definitely make red marks on his body, but I didn't care about it now, neither did he.

Chris was impressively good, he knew exactly what he was doing. He was so good that he made all the other guys I had sex with look pathetic.

-You look so beautiful moaning my name and begging me to fuck you. Even prettier now that you're all mine.

His words triggered my thrid orgasm of the night, his name escaping my lips like a mantra as he looked at me like a starved man looks at a meal.

-Good girl. —He smirks.

His own orgasm followed right after, a whine leaving my lips as I feel him shooting his load inside me and pulling away to collapse on the bed beside me.

After we caught our breaths, I let out a giggle, making Chris look at me confused, but with a tiny smile.

-Maybe it doesn't take much for me to stop hating you after all, you just gotta fuck me like that more times.

I shrug, making him smile and pull me in for a kiss. We put our clothes back on and went back to bed.

-Stay here tonight. —He asks, looking at me intently, his eyes showing me that he meant it.

-Nick's gonna be suspicious if I don't come up. But don't worry too much, we'll have plenty of time to sleep together along the week.

I press a quick peck on his lips and leave his room, walking up the stairs with a smile on my face.

Before I could open Nick's door, my phone vibrates with a new notification and I unlock it to read.

"gn pretty girl, come kiss me goodbye before u leave tomorrow"

I smile even more, typing a reply.

"pack some stuff, ur leaving w me tomorrow, I'll make an excuse about the bet we made to matt and nick so they don't find it too weird, ur staying with me all week pretty boy"

I open Nick's door, seeing him lying in bed scrolling through with his phone and he soon breaks into a smile when he sees me. We talked for a few minutes until we fell asleep.

When I woke up the next day, I warned Matt and Nick about the bet me and Chris made and said that he would come back with me 'cause he needed to do everything I asked during the week. They laughed, thinking it would be torture for Chris to stay with me for so long.

Back to my place, along the week, Chris treated me like a princess all the time, it almost felt like we were a couple. The dynamic between us changed so much so fast, but it was way better like this. We got to know each other without all the fights and arguments, and I actually started to like him. He showed me parts of him I had no idea that even existed, and how he was making me feel, the way he now talked to me and all the cute things he'd do or say was something unexpected by me.

He also kept his promise to make me cum twice a day, some days even exceeding that amount. Surprisingly, this was the best week I've had in a long time, and it was with him.

tags 💕

@fratbrochrisgf @aaliyahsturniolo1 @sturnsvlg @edgemaster696 @user9383738392 @bigbeefybitch @riowritesitall

[fics-lovebot]

seventeen fic recs

main masterlist

· · ♡ · · tysm to the amazing creative minds of the writers for giving me sevaral moments of joy reading your creations

i´ll be constantly updating this list so make sure to check it out often for new recs ;)))

pls remember to reblog if you like any of my recs❤️

poly

dating svt (hyung line) - LOVE IT, joshua got me on a chokehold, and wonwoo PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE :( wherecanIgetoneofthose

dating svt (maknae line) - mingyu as a back hugger is so :(((((((((, I can totally see dino writing love letters to his s/o :(((

pick-up lines - non-idol! au, fluff, silly af, my favs are jeonghan, jun, wonwoo, woozi, mingyu, chwe and chan

you take your promise ring off during a fight - performance unit, vocal unit , hip-hop unit, angsty af, made me cry a little

reaction to the camera panning to them when their idol!s/o is on stage - idol!au, idol!reader, dsfkjsdfjh the jeonghan is my fav idk

kitten ears - pwp, smut, hybrid!reader in heat, LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS ONE RIGHT HERE, IT´S FILTH,,,,, and my fav one is hoshi´s LDJSLFJH read it whenever you feel like having a smut fest

hip hop unit

seungcheol

let me take care of you - drabble, fluff, hubby!cheol, pregnant reader, he is straight uP husband soon-to-be-daddy material, this was so CUTE,,,

caught in a trap - smut, seunkwan´s sister!reader, older brother´s bff!cheol, face riding, he makes you beg for it, “you’ve got me in your little trap, baby. what are you gonna do with me?” SLDKJSHDFKSJ whY is he like tHAT??

as your boyfriend - he gets offended if you don´t let him pay???? now THAT´S my kind of man

whatever you say - fluff, crack, text au, #simp, this is funny lmao

wonwoo

he angry fucks you bc he lost in a video game - blurb, smut, explicittt, the title??? I can see the vision. listen the way this just escalated INMEDIATLY I-, he is ANGRY FR FR in the hottest way, just read it ok pls

he´s rough and in love - smut, just pwp, i made up the name bc it is what it is, he´s already made you cum twice but he still looks at you with eyes full of the purest love while doing the nastiest things, puthy clenching dirty talking, you talk too much, y’know that?, he wanted to keeP GOINg like,,,,sir

the peephole - smut, perv!wonu, roomies au, he´s obsessed, "Speak up, slut. Or have I fucked you completely stupid already" UMMMM?????

scented candles - e.r, fluff, idk idk idk this was cute

couple things - slice of life, fluff, “is there… a reason you’re upside down, my love?” 

needle in the hay - idol au, angst, smut, break up au, idol!reader, 97-liner! reader, poor wonu, slow burn kinda, he´s hopeless and scared and nervous

lingering looks - fluff, idol romance u, POWER COUPLEEEEEEE, I love it, this could be us but he playin

marriage -married life au, dad!wonu, his daughter (a child) wants to marry uncle gyu so he goes on cardiac arrest bc there´s no mf way bUT at least it wasnt soonyoung

workplace crush - work au, co-worker!wonu, I CAN TOTALLY SEE HIM AS "THE IT DEPARTAMENT CRUSH"!!!!! I would have had to quit, it´s too much

cat and mouse - smut, kinda red flag!wonu, "Wonwoo thinks you’re the cutest person ever. And the part of you he finds the most cute? The fact that you actually think he’s going to let you avoid him forever." FLSDUKFJHSLDKJFH

arguments - smut, “You remember how I dealt with that little attitude of yours last time?”  he´s a cocky mf

wisdom tooth surgery - fluff, reader is out of it bc of anesthesia and she cant believeee mingyu´s hot rommie is her mans, it´s a nice read

bruised - angst, fluffy ending, break up au, tough guy wonu but he´s actually a cutie pie, he´s careless about his safety, I LOVE ITTT, the angst is gewd

what you need - smut, shy!reader, soft dom!wonwoo, praise kink, JEON MF WONWOO I- LSFHSKDJFHLSJDFLH this made me blush yall, the ending too sdfksdfkh

mingyu

birthday boy - fluff, f2l, the fLIRTING!!??, i honestly blushed, my eyes got watery and everythin, i HATE IT (not) bc why is he so dreamy every TIME??, also,,, the make out sesh?? MY GODDD, i swear I felt it. he. is. inloveeeeee

first kiss - fluff, established relationship, he IS going to kiss you or else,,,,the man is obsessed

he´s big - smut, size kink,"daddy's too big for you? s'okay, princess, you can do it. you can take it. you're my good girl." CALL THE MF POLICE RN!!!!1!!!!! iminlove

big buff gyu - smut, manhandling, dom!gyu, “look at me, let me see you cry, baby” STOOOOOPPPP sksdfnslflfwkf

beach boobs babes - smut, beach au, chubby reader, big boobs, he´s suffering sfjfjdhdjdh, HE´S COCKY,, literally, shit talker, titty fuckin, he likes thicc girlsssss

pup code - fluff, smut, crack, size kink kinda, mingyu has a fat crushhhh, lowkey himbo vibes, he gets so nervous lmao, jeonghan is a lil shit, somebody help mingyu omg, wonwoo is a victim!!!!!, “I’ve never done the Zoolander face in my life!” jefjrejufriuj

sleepy talk - fluff, married au, “Do you think I’m pretty?” “Sweetheart, we’re married.”

his girl - smut, angst, emotionally unavailable reader, whipped mingyu, “i’ll fuck you forever.. as long as you want. fuck you ‘til you never wanna leave again”

funfetti - bf!gyu, birthday au, so FLUFFY I WANNA CRYYYYYYYYYY love him sm :(

hybe romance - idol!gyu, idol!reader, fluff, love itttttttttttt, THOSE PICS OF MINGYU ON PART 2 LORDDDD, if I was an idol hanging out with the 97 squad i´d be a hOE, no questions asked, bunch of men i want to fucc sitting together would be the end of me

pussy drunk - smut, pussy whipped, "i'm legit gonna kill myself if we dont fuck again", HE NEED SOME MIL

creep - smut, halloween au, serial killer!gyu, ghost!gyu, jeonghan is always starting some shit I swear, this is DIFFERENTTT and the smut is so good yall PLEASE read it

first morning together - fluff, UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :((((((( ihateithere

warm on a cold night - fluff, college au, bsf to lovers, it´s cute

daddy - smut, lowkey fluff, dom!mingy, daddy kink, SIZE KINK are we even surprised atp?, innocent! reader

drunk giant - drunk!mingyu, bc why would he try to challenge cheol to a drinking game??, wonwoo is tired, and somebody get hoshi´s lips off of seokmin!

gym and thirst - smut, those pics of mingYU NAUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WOOF WOOF SDKHWEYWRAWRRAWRAWR bc why tf would joshua do that for????? pls I love big men

mingyu´s cause of death - FLUFF, bf!gyu, this made me really want to cry myself to sleep from the beggining bc there´S NO WAAAAAAAAYYYYY :´´) so cute #simp #whipped

heater - fluff, gyu is cold,,,or is he not, “you’re literally taking all of my body heat, that’s why i’m cold,” “maybe if you didn’t insist on using my boobs as a pillow-,” “oh shut up,”

stain on the sink - fluff, e.r, slice of life, sex joke, you bleach his hair, is so domestic idkidk

cuffing season - smut, richbf!mingyu, he got a black card, good money, good job, loves spoiling you AND he´s wearing the wife beater - grey sweats combo??????? CUFF HIM UP NAAAOWWW, AND AND AND he also makes sure to fuck you without ruining your hair and nails that HE PAID FOR!!!!!! BUT since he gets a lil carried away and you chipped a nail he gives 300 dollar$$$ to get it fiixed right away LIKE????? god please when is it my turn to be happy

worshipping you - smut, sub!gyu, a short one but WHEEEWW

wet sound - smut, short one, THE DIRTY TALK!!!!!! I HATE HIMMMMMMMMMM bc wdym he makes her shut up so she can listen to her wet coochie sOUNDS????? call 911 rn

kitty - smut, THE VISUALS??!?!??! the way this played in my mind had me shook

trouble - fluff, non-idol!gyu, you´re his pretty mess, lowkey brat reader, in love gyu, baking cookies with his cute lil helper sdfljsdfljh :( its cute

vernon

vernon loves your face - he´s so in love omg, sdsdkfj it´s so cute

coffee talk - fluff, coworker!vernon, work romance au, jwhhxsjxsjd cutee

no studying for you - smut, he isn´t letting you study, “Hansol! For the love of fuck!” “Yeah that’s me, I love to fuck,” what?? dkdsfjfj

bias - fluff, slice of life, idol!au, you make the cats choose their svt bias, IT SO WHOLESOME :((((((((

vocal unit

woozi

joshua

bad joke - angst, fluff, calling you clingy

tom and jerry - smau, fluff, crack, text au, SOMEBODY COME GET JISOO LMAOO, he´s doing too much

mr. nice guy - smut, next door neighbors au, I HATE HIM skfffkjs this got me blushing and shit, he cosplays as a gentleman but he´s actually just a flirty nasty mf

seokmin

You Know What They Say About Men With Big Feet - smut, big feet, big nose, big muscles and a big dicc YUPPPPPP, seokmin has it ALL

perfect man - smut, he´s a gentleman, reader makes the mf move and I would have too

jeonghan

2am conversations - slice of life, “what if crabs think that fish can fly?” “angel, it’s two in the morning,” sdkhfksb it´s cute :(((( so domesticc

such a flirt - fluff, he keeps on flirting but has a breakdown when you flirt back lmao, cute

call me by his name - smut, softdom! wannabe harddom! hannie, hSLFDHSLKFH I CAN REALLY SEE THIS HAPPENING idk idk

the long way - model!jeonghan, staff!reader, UGGHHDSLHFLSKH i love this, he´s so confident and lowkey straight forward

tinted windows - smut, ceo!hannie, panty ripper,, literally, car sex, “sir you have a meeting in twenty minutes.” “fuck that stupid meeting, i have more important things to be doing right now.” IT´S GOOD YALL

seungkwan

dance unit

hoshi

why do you love me? - fluff, blurb, so cute

too hot - very suggestive, naaaahhhh he was done for before it even started

first time - smut, fluff, crack, they´re both dumb, reader is boldddd lmao, #couplegoals

drunk and in love - fluff, wasted!hoshi, him in his tiger patterned-shirt, asdkjasdh he´d deff be like this, he rants about how wonderfull you are to whoever got ears, so cute

junhui

jun realizes he has a size kink - blurb, smut, the words he SAIDD I-, in my opinion it was too short!1! that was some good stuff

how badly do you want this? - smut, oral, 7 mins in heaven, it´s hottt

minghao

lollipops and candy bars - smut, sub!hao, reader loves to tease, cute and innocent looking reader, hao needs help lmao, "Well, I finished off my lollipop a while ago, do you have anything else I could suck on?” SKLHDLFJHKLDJ wow

chan

[wonwooslibrary]

svt as boyfriends ♡ joshua edition

member: joshua x reader genre: established relationship, bullet points word count: 738 summary: joshua's boyfriend things ;) warnings: mentions of food and i think that's it! let me know if i missed anything! author's note: y'all i am almost two whole days late with this oh god it keeps getting worse. i am...very tired haha i've been working a lot to build up some money while i'm not in school so yeah. i lowkey forgot about joshua/taehyung day until i opened twitter and saw people talking abt shua and i was like WAIT THAT IS TODAY anyway moral of the story i'm tired and need a break but here is the joshua fic we've all been waiting for! ily all and enjoy <3

He lowkey gives the vibes of like. The foreign exchange student bf with a relationship with a deadline 

He’s the silly bf!!! 

He’s also one of the members I see the least as a boyfriend so this is going to be interesting to write…

Quality Time 

Mans is a fan of everything fr !!! He absolutely loves spending time with you and your shared group of friends 

Loves doing silly little activities with you like making bracelets and painting 

He might just be the artsy bf we all want 

Joshua loves to go to different places with you like thrift stores, arcades, cafes, literally anything as long as he is with you <3

Loves the feeling of mixing his friend groups - the day you meet his friends aka his brothers he will be imploding with love for everyone 

Is the “i get bored easily” bf so y’all gotta be doing like ten different things at once 

Will totally ask you to dance or just close your eyes and be with him when a slow song comes on at a party / get together / playing music at home 

Words of Affirmation

You totally call him Joshy or Shua and he loves every minute of it bc he thinks it’s cute 

“Darling, would you like to get coffee with me tomorrow morning?” SCREECHING 

Believes the relationship revolves around pet names (ie. baby, sweetie, darling) he's adorable 

Is always proud of you and encouraging!!! 

Likes to leave little notes for you around the house. Maybe by your favorite drink in the fridge that reads, “I got these for you. stay hydrated, love” 

At the beginning of the relationship he was so formal with you, that it took him saying “I love you” for the first time to relax for five seconds LOL 

Physical Touch

Joshua loves handholding ‼️

This man always wants to have some sort of contact with you, whether that be holding hands, linking fingers or rubbing your back

Loves having you sit on his lap or lay your legs across his 

His go-to move when you are in public is linking your pinkies together (how cute :3) 

Leans on you when he laughs because he cannot sit still 

I feel like Joshua would like. move his fingers on your leg in the way of playing piano keys but with guitar if that makes sense? Like where the frets are? Idk

Is also the type to be scared of touching you in front of others until you explicitly tell him that it's okay

Acts of Service 

Loves doing the chores for you

“Hey, baby, I'm gonna fill my water bottle. Do you need me to fill yours?” 

Or even a, “hey i borrowed your car, but i filled the tank before bringing it back” we love a man who can afford to fill a vehicle’s tank at this point in time

Likes to bring you lunch once or twice a week --- he’ll make it himself and pack it in a cute little bag and everything 

Helps you in little ways like folding the laundry or helping you pick out outfits on those days that you struggle to do anything 

Is always there for you when literally anything happens. You need someone to help fix your car? He’s on the phone finding a shop. You can’t reach a high shelf or your back hurts too much to bend down to get something from a low cupboard? He’s right there ready to help

Gift Giving 

I touched on this a tiny bit earlier but !! handmade jewelry omg he would make matching bracelets for y’all or even a necklace or earrings for you if bracelets interfere with your job

Always buys little trinkets that remind him of you or your relationship 

“Hey I found this little glass rose decoration and it reminded me of the time i got you flowers when i asked you out the first time” 

HE WILL ALWAYS HAVE THE CUTE SHY SMILE WHEN HE GIVES YOU SOMETHING TOO as if you’ll ever tell him that you dislike something he got for you 

He would also love if you gave him gifts too like, “hey joshy I got this little container that can help you keep your beads organized” and he’s melt into a puddle of goo onto your living room floor 

Also gets something for you (usually your favorite snack or drink) when you’re especially sad or stressed out - like a super gift instead of his regular daily gifts or something 

Idk just know he’s really sweet and enjoys crafting

[chelleztjs18]

Biggest Fans (E.O)

Fem!Writer!Reader x Elizabeth Olsen

Summary: It was a casual lunch day out for you and Lizzie until the unexpected thing happens.

Warning: None. I'm just feeding you with fluff story. :D

A/n: Hello! It's me with another fluff fic! Thank you for your patience. I'm trying my best to write more and give you more contents. Also, this might be the last time I will post with the taglist. I'm planning on making a library side blog. I will update you once It's ready. Anyways, happy reading!

P.S: The italic prints means texting convo in this fic. The bold print means their thoughts.

Main Masterlist

“Hello. I really love your writing.” was how it all started. A friendly message you got but you never knew that it will lead to something unexplainable with such all good feelings you can’t describe. A message that led to other more messages between you and this girl. Before you know it, you talk to her 24/7 for almost a year. Flirtatious messages with various sweet pet names exchanges happen a lot between you two. Is it a friendship? It sure did start from that point. Is it more than that? You don’t know. All you know, you can’t hold back a smile every time you get a message from her through your writing blog apps. You always wait for her messages. The second you wake up, you will go to the apps to text her good morning and sometimes you would find that she beat you and left the morning text before you.

Liz, that’s her name. As much as you want to see her pictures or hear her voice through a phone call, you respect her request to wait until she feels comfortable to do so. You both agreed to not talk or ask anything personal just yet. Despite all that, both of you never run out of things to talk about which is what you love about her.

You hear your text notification from your phone and your heartbeat doubling in speed instantly. You knew who it was and as usual, you are smiling reading anything she texts you.

_____

*Ding* Lizzie's phone informs her another message replies. She laughs a little and then smiles the whole time while she's typing her turn in the conversation.

Scarlet sees it from the corner of her eyes while she is checking out the restaurant's menu but she can't help herself to ask, "Is that from your writer girlfriend?” She teases Lizzie.

“Huh? What? No, she’s not my girlfriend.” The younger actress realizes Scar’s teasing question and denies it instantly. A blush shows up on her cheek obviously.

“Well, you both have been talking all this time. You have been all smiling every time you text with her. Wait, how long have you been talking with each other?”

“Well, you told me about this whole fanfiction writing blog stuff like around june last year i think?” The brunette answers.

“That’s almost a year! Wow and she still doesn’t know who you are? Or at least your voice? Does she know that you are from Los Angeles? She seems pretty patient about that."

"Uh yes. I gotta admit, she has been understanding about it very much. Sometimes I feel that it's unfair to her because I have heard her voice on the voice notes she left me. She sounds really cute. And, yes. She knows that I'm from here just like her." Lizzie expresses her thoughts and doesn't realize that another smile curves on her face.

"Aww. That's cute! You like her, don't you?" The blonde actress asks as she wiggles her eyebrows teasing her best friend once more.

Lizzie laughs and covers her face in embarrassment. "Who wouldn't like a nice sweet funny girl that you can talk to about everything 24/7?" 

“Haha! I knew you like her!”

“Uh maybe we should order some food now, the waitress has been asking us twice, Scar.” Lizzie looks at the menu to avoid eye contact and to not let the topic go further.

“It wasn’t my fault, you were the one who kept forgetting to see what you want because you are busy texting with your girlfriend.” Scarlet teased and soft crimson shades slowly show up on Lizzie’s face.

“Oh look, Liz! She just posted a new fic. Ouh, I wonder what it is about now.” A mix of excitement and curiosity floats around her as she playfully makes a little dance move with her shoulders.

“Oh, she posted it earlier than she planned, that's good. It’s a Wanda story. She told me the idea, it’s about—-” before Lizzie can finish her words, Scarlet interrupts her.

“Nope. nope. Nope.. No spoilers please. I’m gonna read it later.” Scarlet raises her index fingers as her stop sign.

Lizzie laughs at her antics. “Okay, okay. All I’m gonna say is, it’s a really good plot. You’ll like it.”

The girls order their food and spend some time catching up.

_____

Liz:

“Have you eaten lunch yet, sweetie?

Y/n:

“Not yet. I was too lazy to get out of my apartment but since you keep reminding me to eat something, I am getting lunch now. 😁"

Liz:

"Are you going to cook something?"

Y/n:

"No. I'm just gonna go to this restaurant I love. I'll be right back, darling. I'll text you when I get there, love. 😘"

Liz:

"Okay, talk soon. 😘"

Even just the short conversation makes you and Lizzie feel like you are on cloud nine, drunk with happiness.

______

Some fans sometimes come to them for pictures or autographs but both Marvel actresses were enjoying their lunch and their leisure time together until one message from you popped up. Lizzie's eyes widened, her stomach turned and her heart dropped after she read what you sent her.

Y/n:

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Liz! You will not believe who I see right now! Elizabeth Olsen!! I see her at the restaurant I'm at now. She is so gorgeous. She's with Scarlet Johansson right now."

"Oh my god. Shit. Scar, she's here." Lizzie exclaimed in whispers, trying her best to keep calm and look around casually so it wouldn't look obvious.

"Huh? What happened? Who's here?" The Black Widow cast asks in surprise and confusion at the same time.

"Y/n. She's here!" She whispers.

"What? How did you know?" Scarlet pitched out another question as she kept her head straight looking at Lizzie.

"She sent me this." Lizzie lets Scarlet read your message.

Then another message popped up.

Y/n:

"I really want to come up to her and say hi."

"Gosh, now she's gonna come here and say hi." Panic starts to scream a little in Lizzie's tone and she shows her phone to Scar again.

"You don't know what she looks like, right?" Scarlet asks.

"No. I don't know that she is a huge fan of.. you know, me." Lizzie taps her fingers rapidly and nervously.

"Well, d'uh, Lizzie? She writes fics about you and Wanda." The blonde laughs a little and shakes her head.

"Oh yeah. Yeah. You are right. My brain just can't think—" Lizzie tries to respond but gets interrupted. "Straight?" Scar finishes her words in a teasing smirk.

Lizzie rolls her eyes and holds her smile knowing what Scarlet really meant. A fan comes and asks for a selfie with them.

As soon as the girl leaves, Lizzie asks Scarlet in a whisper, "Do you think it was her?"

"Well, I don't know, Liz. Oh text her and ask if she decides to come to Lizzie" Scarlet pitches the idea as she forms an air quote on Lizzie's name.

The now nervous younger Olsen sister follows the suggested idea and texts you.

Lizzie:

"So, did you decide to go say hi to her?"

A few minutes passed and she hasn't got any reply from you. Then another fan politely interrupts the silence.

Lizzie doesn't realize that she stares at the girl a little longer while her mind wonders if it's you until Scarlet nudges her elbow and she continues talking friendly then takes another selfie with their favorite MCU casts.

The more fans come to them, the more it drives her mind all over the place and keeps guessing which one was you. Her curiosity makes her ask each fan their name, just in case it was you. Anticipation is killing her by now and she decided to text you again.

Lizzie:

"Babe? Are you okay? How was it?"

Silence was still what she got. "Why hasn't she replied yet?" She asks herself with a little frustration as she keeps checking on her phone for your reply.

"Well, if she already came to you then what would you do?" Scarlet questioned the brunette.

“I don’t know.” Lizzie shows her thinking looks as she mindlessly bites her nails. Then her phone brings her back out of her daze. “Oh! That must be her.” She talks to herself as she undoubtedly checks her phone.

A Surprised facial expression appears as she sees your message with a picture of her that you took from afar earlier.

Y/n:

“Look how beautiful she is. I saw that she was very sweet to her fans. I think I'm not going to come up to her. I feel bad that she doesn't have her privacy to have her lunch, people keep coming to her. I’m just gonna finish my food and maybe go home after that.”

Lizzie tries to look as calm as she can as she wonders where you are sitting from the view of her picture you took then looks back to check the picture again and avert her eyes around. “Scar, don't look around, I don't want to look obvious that we are wondering which one is her but here, look what Y/n texted me.”

As soon as Scar saw the pictures and read the message, she almost couldn’t help herself to turn her head to where you possibly were but Lizzie stops her.

“Aw she’s so sweet and thoughtful.” The blonde comments. “So, if she’s not coming to see you, what are you going to do now Liz? She added.

“I don’t know. I’ve been thinking of asking her if she wants to meet up or at least have a video call. Should I try to come and have a spontaneous meet up with her here right now? She said she’s leaving soon.” Lizzie rants out her thoughts as she casually searches around that might give a clue which one is you.

A full minute of silence from Lizzie as Scar waits for the answer of her question. The brunette finally breaks her silence. “Uhm.. I don’t know. Uh, I… I’m gonna go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back, Scar.” but being friends with Lizzie since she joined Marvel makes Scarlet know her pretty well like the back of her own hand.

Scarlet gently grabs Lizzie’s arm to quickly stop her from getting up. “Wait, wait, wait Liz. I know you. You are not going to the bathroom, you are going to find her, aren’t you?” The blonde actress guessed in a teasing tone and smiled.

No words come out of her lips but a little smirk forms and that’s all Scarlet needs as an answer then she lets go her hand off Lizzie’s arm. “Well, good luck. Have fun on your first date with your girlfriend. Text me if you want me to wait or not.” Scarlet cheers her and wiggle her eyebrows.

With that, Lizzie walks away to find you.

_____

Unfortunately, today is a pretty busy day at the restaurant. After a few steps away from her table towards the direction she guessed where you are at, most tables are occupied. Her eyes look for a woman she thinks looks like your age and any other clue that can help her.

At first she looks for a woman who is on her phone but she realizes it won’t help. Most people are on their phone these days. Then she remembers that you posted a story earlier, her mind instantly thinks that you have your laptop with you on your table right now while having your lunch. It helps her narrow down her obstacles to find you after she sees some women has their laptop with them.

She tries to be as casual as she can. Some pairs of eyes recognize her and some don’t or perhaps they are just trying not to stare at her. She then texts you again, a subtle question that won’t be too obvious that she wants to know if you are still there or not.

Lizzie:

“How’s your food babe? Are you still having your lunch?”

A few minutes of silence, none of your replies come to her inbox. “Dang it! She probably turns her phone on vibrate mode again.” she thought to herself, knowing your habit.

Meanwhile, you are trying to prevent yourself from staring at your idol from far away so you are focused on writing your new romantic fic, you can’t keep Liz out of your mind. All those sweet touchy ideas and stories you wrote were inspired by her or your conversations with her. It even sometimes makes you smile. You miss her today but you know her plan for today, spending time with her best friend so you try to let her “girls day out” time.

As you get distracted by your own feelings of missing her, you can’t help yourself and you grab your phone to text her only to find out you missed her text.

You quickly reply.

Y/n:

“Sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t see your message. My phone was on vibrate. Yes, I’m still here, but I’m done with my lunch and just waiting for my check. I hope you are having a great time with your best friend. I can’t wait to chat with you again. I miss you.”

Just like that, your message definitely dropped a bomb of jumbled feelings on her. She reads it in awe, her heart feels light and she feels giddy when she reads that you miss her yet she is now alarmed that her time is running out and she needs to pick up her pace to find you. Like a cherry on top, the nervousness gradually grew over the other mixed up feelings.

She directs her eyes from one table to another table as she walks. She starts to feel more anxious that she would miss the chance to meet you, her mind rapidly thinks.

Her fingers start to get cold, her heart beats race but a final resort of thought jumps into her mind.

She takes a deep breath. “Fuck it.” She mumbles and she opens the apps on her phone then calls you and her eyes are ready to spot you whenever you pick up her calls. “Come on, y/n. Pick up the phone.” she mumbles once more with full of hope.

_____

The waiter drops off your bill. While you are checking on it, you notice that your phone vibrates.

Your stomach does somersaults and your heart cheers with such thrill, you swear you could hear it. Despite all that, you are nervous. You stare at your phone screen for a good few seconds, questions bouncing around in your head as you tap your finger on the table nervously.

Why is she calling me? Is this an accidental call? Should I answer it? What if I got speechless?

_____

Lizzie hears you answer the call on the other end of the line. Her eyes jump from one person to another and her heart skips a beat when she finally spots you. She knows it was you as soon as she sees you has the phone with your left hand.. “H–hello? Liz?” She can hear your highly strung voice and her feet lead her to your table slowly.

“H-hi y/n. Yes, it’s me Liz.” her timorous voice wrapped in excitement makes its way to be heard.

“Uh-it’s so nice to finally hear your voice. I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know that you were gonna call. I wasn’t prepared.” you let out a nervous laugh.

“Oh yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t tell you first I was gonna call. I got your text. I miss you too. So, I decided to call you. So are you leaving soon?” Lizzie can’t stop smiling while she talks to you.

“Uh yeah, pretty soon. I just got my bill. Are you still having lunch with your best friend? Where are you now?” you ask curiously. You start to calm down from your sudden nervousness.

“Aaw, you are leaving? I think it would be a great idea if you stay a little longer.” She ignores your question yet pitches out an idea that caught you in confusion.

Of course you asked “And why is that?” followed by a little laugh. All you can think is how cute she sounds. You always think that she is cute but to think that her voice melts your heart this easily? No, you never thought of that. Or perhaps you fell for her, so hard.

“Because I’m right here.” She answers enthusiastically. Lizzie tries to take her exhilaration down a notch to avoid attention from people surroundings.

“Wait, what? You–you are here? What did you—” you stop your words as soon as you feel a presence in front of you. From the corner of your eyes, you can see someone standing and you quickly look up to see who it is. “---mean?” you finally finished the word you were gonna say in a very low voice. You felt like you just got struck by lightning. Your eyes refuse to blink, your mouth is slightly open. You are stunned, or you can even say that you are frozen like an ice sculpture. You are shocked and confused why in the world the most beautiful woman, the woman you idolized so much, is standing right in front of you, smiling and her green eyes sparkling in happiness looking at you.

“Uh–I–uh-W-wait–Liz..hold on..Lizzie Olsen is standing right in front of me and you just told me that you are here. So..does it mean–” you stupidly still hold your phone against your ear and talk on the phone.

Lizzie lets out a cute laugh and thinks how cute you look. “Hello, I really love your writing." She intentionally said the same exact words with her first message to you through the phone.

Her intention to prove to you that the Liz who you have been talking to this whole time and her are the same person worked. You swiftly connect the dots and are convinced by the truth. “Oh…OH!!! Oh my god! Liz? Lizzie? I have been talking to you this whole time?” You yell in a whisper, trying to suppress your popping elations. Your skin slowly turns red.

She laughs a little louder at your reaction but she tries to calm you down as she leans to you a little and whisper “Y/n, shusshh. We wouldn’t want to attract more attention than we already have right now.” She puts her index finger on her smiling lips.

“Oh, yeah yeah. Sorry.” you take a deep breath and exhale them out. “Okay, okay. I’m good.. I–I’m good. Uh–” you ramble.

“Can I join you?” she asks softly.

“Yes, of course. Please have a seat.”

"So this is the blind date we have been talking about?" The iconic laugh of hers follows right after her teasing question.

"Well, it's more surprising, unplanned and spontaneous than I thought it would be but y-yes of course! This is it.. this the blind date." You awkwardly yet subtly try to fix your look in front of her.

Oh that smile, those green eyes and even her perfume have successfully turn your brain into a mush.

You are hypnotized by the ethereal views in front of you and you are lost in your thoughts. You still can’t believe you have been talking to her this whole time, romantically to each other. The one and only gorgeous Elizabeth Olsen has been telling you that she loves everything you write and everything about you.

Both of you have been the biggest fans to each other this whole time and nothing can beat that.

A/n: Welp, that's it for today. Let me know what you think and I hope you like it. Reblog and comments are highly appreciated. Follow me for more. See you in next!

Cheerio!

Taglist: @madamevirgo @musicinourlips @unstable-sapphic-hoe @fanboy7794 @chloe7076 @b0mbdotc0m @trikruismybitch @ichala @californianwhiterabbit @honey-sweet-hiraeth @imfuckinggenius @sxfwap @chaekhan @daenerys713 @luvmcgrath @stupidsapphicsstuff @pattypavo @stonemags @frvny @franfineashell @heyyoweveryone @ygtft-chen @yaaskasey @sweeet-likeeee-cinnamonn @paumxmff @dopeyouth @beaniejennie @ineedafinghug @idkwhatimwriting @lucydiibi @mainly-rebloging-fics-i-like @gloriousfoxruins @grxvitye @mcubreakdown101 @aos22 @wandanatstan @paulawand @yeeterthekeeper @femalehomosexual666 @snowdrop1026 @modernmonalisa @nothingisrealanyway @idamaemann @sweeterlust @royalityofmultifandom @playboysaleen @peabrain112 @gwhaley127 @harleyswanda @bodhi-j @darth-rain @cristin-rjd

[ladykailitha]

Can Anybody See Me? Part 6

Yes, my darlings, you read that right. I promised I would get back on this one once I was done with In the Midnight Hour and admittedly I did get side tracked for a week doing the Valentine’s fics, once that was out of my head I have written almost 7000 new words for this story. I went from half way through this one to a few hundred words into part 10. So yeah. Expect to see this one updated fairly regularly. I haven’t given up on Star Child I’m just trying to decide which direction the next part should take.

Also on the tagging, I HAVE REACHED MY HARD AND FAST LIMIT OF 50. I love the response this story has gotten. I do. I love you all. I love every reply, like, and reblog. It brings me so much joy, you don’t even know. But tagging is hard for my ADHD brain. I have gone up from 20 to 30 and finally 50 as my system improved but I think if I do any more than that I’ll go insane. So any future tagging requests will be ignored. Sorry.

The best way to keep update on these stories is follow me and set me on notifications. I rarely do a lot of reblogging these days (too busy churning out stories like whoa), so more often then not a post will be a story. I try to post at least once a day (some times twice if I’m trying to rush through the posting a bit like I did to make sure the Valentine fic got out in time without making people wait on Vamp!Eddie), just never at set time.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

*

They all met up by the fountain in the middle of the mall. Eddie was bouncing on the balls of his feet nervously.

“You sure he’s going to come?” Jeff asked.

Eddie tried to peer around the crowd. “That’s what he said.”

And then they spotted him. He was in a nice red sweater with a white polo underneath and fitted jeans. Eddie ran his tongue over his teeth in appreciation.

But then he noticed the gaggle of children following behind him. And what a gaggle it was. It consisted of Red, his new best friend, another girl with a thousand yard stare. The tall black kid must be the Sinclair boy. The remaining three were also very interesting. There was the short curly haired kid with no front teeth. The last two were both dark haired, but the one on the right was darker. Hair and attitude, judging from the rounded shoulders and down cast expression of the other boy.

Steve sighed. “I’m sorry I’m late. Dustin called asking me to take him to the arcade, only when I told him that I was going to the mall, suddenly they all wanted to come.”

“And then I got roped into this because they wouldn’t all fit in Steve’s car,” a voice called from the back.

The person jostled his way to stand next to Steve. Jonathan clasped Steve on the shoulder. “I gave Will money to call me when you’re done so I can pick up him and El. Make sure he doesn’t spend it on the gumball machine.”

Steve nodded. “Thanks, man. I’ll see you later.”

Jonathan nodded and waved goodbye to everyone, but especially the timid one. Which Eddie figured must have been Will.

“Your children, I presume?” Eddie asked, eyeing the thirteen year-olds warily.

“Yup,” Steve said with a put on expression. He pointed to each of them in turn. “That’s Dustin, Mike, Will, Lucas, Max and El.”

Eddie did the same to his friends. “I’m Eddie, these are Jeff, Gareth, and Brian. Or collectively, the band Corroded Coffin.”

“That’s bitchin’,” El said with a smile.

Steve ducked his head as he tried not to laugh.

“Hell yeah, it is,” Jeff said, taking an immediate liking to her.

“All right,” Steve said, turning to the kids. “You are to stay in pairs at the very least. And you know who your partners are. Will and Mike, Max and El, and Dustin and Lucas. Regardless of what you are doing, you will meet up here at 2pm. No later. I have plans with these guys at three and I’m not going to be late because of you guys a second time.”

There were a lot of eye rolls but everyone agreed to meet at the fountain at two.

Once they had left, Steve turned back to see that all four of them were struggling not to laugh.

“No, no,” he said, shaking his head. “Go ahead and laugh. Because fuck knows it’s hilarious.”

So they promptly burst out laughing.

“Oh my god,” Gareth wheezed. “It was like watching ducklings.”

“Yes!” Eddie agreed. “My dude, I hope you are charging their parents for this.”

Steve shrugged. “It’s not like I need the money.”

They all just shook their heads.

Eddie clapped his hands together and rubbed. “Right, Stevie, this is how it is going to go. You’ll have one hour to get the most outrageous gift. Ten dollar maximum.”

“Each person or total?”

“However you want to swing it,” Jeff said. “But forty bucks is a lot.”

Steve nodded. “I guess my one concern is that I don’t know you guys very well and I don’t want to offend anyone.”

“So take Eddie with you,” Gareth said. “And then for the last ten minutes split off to buy something for each other.”

Eddie and Steve looked at each other.

“Yeah,” Eddie said, “that could work. What do you say, Stevie?”

Steve shrugged. “Yeah, sure.”

Every one but Steve set a timer on their watches. Steve’s wasn’t a digital one, so he couldn’t.

“On your marks, get set,” Brian said. “And go!”

Eddie grabbed Steve’s hand and suddenly he was being dragged along.

Steve giggled. “Where to first?”

“We are going to Suncoast,” Eddie said with a grin. “It’s the best place for all your metalhead needs.

“Lead on, MacDuff!” Steve said with a grin.

Eddie finally let go of Steve’s hand as they neared the store.

“I found out in drama that a lot of the sayings and words we use today are because Shakespeare couldn’t find the right word and made them up,” Steve said nervously.

“Wait, really?” Eddie asked, coming to a complete stop. “Like what?”

“Well, ‘Lead on, MacDuff’,” Steve said, “just for starters. It’s from Macbeth. Green eyed-monster. Just loads that I can’t think of off the top of my head.”

Eddie stood there for a moment blinking. “If they had taught that in English, I think would pay more attention.”

Steve laughed. “I know, right?”

They entered the store and everything had a dark red neon glow to it and it was clearly separated between the movie part of the store and the music part of the store. It was almost jarring. The movie part was dark like the inside of a movie theater. The music part was well lit and almost sterile white in its design.

They wandered around the music section. And they stopped by the minuscule instrument section. It had mostly accessories but also a couple of guitars. Mostly acoustic but one or two electric as well.

“This is pitiful,” Steve said staring at the selection.

“Beggars can’t be choosers, dude,” Eddie said. “There is an actual record shop with a full on instrument section. But that is not the point of this.”

Steve stopped by the drumsticks. “Gareth is the drummer right?”

Eddie nodded.

“I’ve been to a couple of concerts and I saw that the drummer had a bucket of sticks...”

“Are you asking if you should get Gareth more drumsticks?” Eddie asked. Steve nodded. “Go for it.”

“What’s his favorite color?” Steve asked.

Eddie frowned, but Steve pointed to the drumsticks on display and the had all sorts of different colors and patterns.

“The black ones with the flames on them, for sure.”

Steve grinned and picked them up. They got a couple more things here, but it was time to move on.

They hit up the stationary store, the weird little shop that sold incense and little Egyptian figurines, and Hammond’s Toys.

As they were passing Shapiro’s on their way to Hammond’s Toys, Steve found his gift for Eddie. It took every bit of will power not to just rush back and grab it, afraid it would be gone by the time he got back.

Eddie came up to him. “All right, Stevie. This is where we have to part ways. We only have ten minutes left and we need to get each other something, too.”

Steve smiled and nodded. He doubled back to Shapiro’s and quickly bought it. He raced to the fountain to be there first. He sat down on the edge of the fountain, his packages tucked under his legs so people wouldn’t steal them.

It wasn’t long before the others started showing up. Brian showed up first.

“How the hell did you beat me, man?” he asked as he sat down next to Steve. “I’m always the first to arrive.”

Steve blushed. “I got lucky.” He was practically vibrating with anticipation.

Brian eyed him suspiciously. “And you got a present for everyone?”

Steve pressed his lips together and nodded.

Gareth was the next to show up. “Now that’s just embarrassing. Being beaten by Brian is one thing, he’s a shopping guru. But Steve Harrington, too? However will I get over the shame?”

Jeff laughed from behind him, having just shown up himself. “You’ll live.”

Eddie was the last to arrive showing up exactly at the hour.

“Ooh,” Jeff teased. “By the skin of your teeth. Is Steve-o here really that hard to buy for?”

Eddie grabbed his knees, panting for breath. “No,” he huffed. “Just on the other side of the fucking mall.”

“So,” Gareth said turning to Steve. “Now for the next phase of our little get together. We meet up at my house at three and exchange gifts and play a one-shot.”

Steve wrinkled his nose. “Is that like a D&D thing?”

“Yup!” Brian said gleefully rubbing his hands together. “It a story meant for a single day instead of multiple days like a campaign.”

“Yeah,” Jeff said. “We roll up quick character that are meant to die and just go to town no real rules. Just fun.”

Steve nodded. “Sure I could do that.” He looked at his watch. “I’ve got twenty minutes before the kids show up.”

The other three backed away slowly.

“Yeah,” Jeff said, “we aren’t going to wait for that mob.”

“Oh, hell no,” Brian agreed. “I’m sure they’re great kids and all but I have three younger siblings, if I wanted chaos, I’d hang out with them.”

“Middle schoolers, man,” Gareth said, “are the plague of the earth. See you at three.”

Steve laughed. “Agreed on all accounts. I see you at Gareth’s. I’ll get the address from Eddie.”

The three boys walked off, shoving and pushing each other, laughing as they made their way to the exit.

“So what about you?” Steve asked. “You going to run before the hoard gets here?”

Eddie laughed. “I should. Leave you to the wolves.” He grinned. “But nah. I want to properly meet the kids that Steve the pied piper of Hawkins has taken under his wing.”

Steve blushed. “I wouldn’t call myself that. They barely listen to me.”

Eddie’s face softened. “I’m sure that’s not true. I bet the little sponges are just soaking up everything you tell them.”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “That would explain the language problem.”

Eddie tilted his head to side. “What language problem?”

“They swear like sailors.”

Eddie blinked a couple of time before he burst out laughing. “Having trouble not swearing around kids, Stevie?”

“You would be swearing too if you had to deal with them all the time,” he said with a shake of his head.

“So why do you do it?” Eddie asked.

Steve huffed out a sigh and kicked the side of the fountain with the heel of his foot. “Most of them don’t have great home lives. Except the Sinclairs, of course. Especially when it comes to caring adult men. I know what that’s like, so I try to be that for them.”

“Huh.”

Eddie didn’t have much time to comment on that because the first of the terrors had arrived.

The two dark-haired boys that seemed joined at the hip.

“Hey, Mike,” Steve greeted, “hey, Will. Did you already call Jonathan to come get you?”

Will nodded.

“Good,” Steve said. “Eddie here DMs for his friends.”

Both heads turned to him in shock.

“There is no way,” Mike said. “Steve would never be friends with someone who likes D&D.”

“Hey!” Steve protested. “I’m friends with you assholes!”

Mike rolled his eyes. “Fine. Steve wouldn’t be friends with people his own age that play D&D.”

“Mike...” Will protested, speaking up for the first time. “What’s your favorite class?”

“Bard. It’s kinda self-insert type of thing,” Eddie said. “I play guitar, so I get the class. Um...second favorite would druid. I have a twelfth level druid named Kilmar Goatfiend in a campaign my club is doing right now.”

“You have a D&D club?” Dustin asked coming up from behind Will and Mike. “No way!”

“Yep!” Eddie said with pop of his lips. “The Hellfire club. Lenny Fitzpatrick is president this year. Next year, it’ll probably be Janice Montgomery.”

“You have a girl in your club?” Lucas asked, think of his sister Erika.

“Girls don’t play D&D,” Mike growled.

Steve hit him on the back of the head. “Oi! Your sister played. She’s the one that taught you. Show her some respect.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide. “Nancy Wheeler plays D&D.”

“Did,” Will clarified. “She’s the one that gave me my wizard robes to DM in.”

“You dress up?” Eddie asked. “That’s so cool.”

Will blushed.

Just then girls arrived both of them eating ice cream cones.

Dustin spotted them and gasped. “You got ice cream cones?” He turned to Steve. “Why didn’t we get ice cream cones?”

Steve stood up and put his hands on his hips. “Because they saved their money and bought themselves ice cream cones?”

Max stuck out her tongue at him and El giggled.

“You better finish those up before you get into my car,” Steve said wagging his finger at them.

“Hey, I could take Max home,” Eddie said with a shrug. “I’m heading that way anyway.”

Steve looked at Max. “It’s up to you. You can go home with him or I could drop you off at Hopper’s and you and El can continue to hang out.”

Max thought about it for a minute. “I’ll think I’ll go home with Eddie and hang out with El tomorrow.” She turned to El. “Is that okay?”

El nodded. “I wanted to spend time with Will and Mike today.”

Mike blushed.

“What about you two?” Steve asked. “Where am I dropping you two off?”

Dustin and Lucas just shared a glance and shrugged.

“Well then you two can sort it out in the car,” Steve said and then turned to Eddie. “So what’s Gareth’s address?”

Eddie pulled out a pocket notebook and pen and scribbled out the address. “There you go, see you later, man.”

Steve took the piece of paper with a smile. “Do you always carry a notebook and pen with you wherever you go?”

Eddie grinned. “Sure, sometimes the muse will strike while I’m out and about so I need something to jot down lyrics or chord progressions as needed.”

“That’s sooo cool,” Mike said, a little star struck.

Will and Lucas looked over at each other and rolled their eyes. Eddie fought back a grin.

They split off, with Will, Mike and El, staying at the fountain to wait for Jonathan.

Part 7  Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17 Part 18  Part 19 Part 20  Part 21

@shrimply-a-menace @strangersteddierthings @throwbackthrowaway @novelnovella @cursedfoxteeth @babyblender @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steve-the-hairrington @winterbuckwild @spectrum-spectre @matchingbatbites @garden-of-gay @anaibis @thing-a-ling @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @artiststarme @sundead @nelotegreitic @gregre369 @butterflysandpeppermint @thedragonsaunt @kodaik97 @messrs-weasley @scarletzgo @deadlydodos @renaissan-vvitch @evix-syne666 @emly03 @justforthedead89 @ashwinmeird @huniibee @phantypurple @stevesbipanic @shucks-yuckyuck @awkwardgravity1 @bookbinderbitch @reportinglivefromsoda @chasinggeese @be-the-spark-bitch @jinxjinn @kohlraedirectioner @cr0w-culture @xjessicafaithx @whimsicalwitchm @jaywhohasthegay @dangdirtydemons @lovelyscot @howincrediblysapphicofyou @the-redthread

[grellestie]

Thoughts on Grelle x Ronald

and prayers

actually, here are my full thoughts, THOUGH you're going to need prayers going into it.

Oh, GrelleRon (i think thats what you crazy kids call it lol). I have so many different emotions about it. I feel like it has a LOT of interesting concepts attached to it and things that could really be developed from it! I haven't read fics in a while, but I am SURE some of these have to have been explored at least once or twice. Or I have to finally open docs. . . Scary.

Ronald already has to deal with Grelle as his mentor which is already introducing an interesting dynanic- usually in stories, it's the mentor falling for the mentored but we all know Ronald just wouldn't be her dream man. He's cute, but he's not Will and could never be Will. Maybe she would open up to him a bit after he witnesses her in the middle of a cute girl moment (read: depressive episode).

As nihilistic as it sounds, Grelle knows her end when it comes to relationships. She'll end up with William, become a star, have children, and then her soul will finally lay herself asleep. It's simple. Sure, she'll play around with other men (and women too), but it's all just for fun and to keep her excited! She's gotten herself attached before, but she's learned her lesson - especially after being out into. . . doing chores for a year. But falling for a different reaper could change her mind. It's the ONE species she could fall for and not be in trouble for being with them. . . or just judged ever more so than she already is. Which she wouldn't mind necessarily? But it'd get obnoxious getting called some uncreative name for the umpteenth time, like seriously.

Ultimately, she's keeping him at arms length but does consider him someone she trusts somewhat. But can you really trust someone if you only tell them so much about you? When that facade crumbles, how will you unravel your lies that never seemed to add up in the first place?

Now, for Ronald's perspective, I see him falling for her first. Think about it. This is the only girl that's broken up with Eric first, as well as broken the hearts of SO many other men in favor of Will- who she could do SO much better than, in Ronald's humble opinion. If he could be the one to ultimately sweep her off her feet, do you KNOW how much every guy around him would be jealous?

She's also amazing at her job! kind of! she's one of the stronger reapers in the dispatch and has probably one of the cooler scythes. She also survived a punishment from the Higher-Ups without changing in the slightest. She's also gorgeous! And the only woman to be apart of the Retrieval Division! That's SO cool!

I feel like he would fall for her in a falling for her shadow way- just completely misunderstanding her entirely and falling in love with that rather than who she actually is. He sees her for the woman she portrays herself to be; A strong actress capable of setting the world aflame with her passion alone. A gorgeous woman put against all odds, allowing herself to fall for men like Will when clearly needing a hero rather than a pencil-pusher. He entirely ignores any breakdown or outburst that ruins his image of her because it doesn't fit his version of his Grelle.

That's until her instability gets to an all-time high. He's socially smart for sure, but he's not an expert on the human mind, and Grelle is an enigma all in herself. How could someone jump from a simple mood to thinking the entire world is against you and that the person closest to you only wants you to be a distant memory? Or even just a joke, they tell everyone? That quick switch in emotions would confuse Ronald to NO end. But that just makes him build Grelle to be a needy princess in his mind. She just needs a strong man to keep her out of her own head. But is he even strong enough to handle her?

(SPOILER: Nope. Not one bit. He's witty, but he can't handle her at her worst. Will can, but only because he gets her mindgames while Ronald falls for every single one. Also, Grelle's lies would have to catch up with her at some point, and it heavily depends on what she said and how deep of a hole she's dug for herself. I can only imagine how much Ronald would be willing to let slip by him.

They would have SUCH an interesting dynamic. I just don't think they'd make it as a couple, but they'd make a GREAT case study if you're a psychologist.

[autisticlancemcclain]

Jackie supports the lion swap? How dare you!

Okay SO. This is not the first time I’ve gotten an ask or a comment like this, and I’m fully aware it’s a joke (or at least I think), but I also know that it is kind of a controversial topic on here! And I’ve already written an essay in the topic, but I have some more thoughts I’d like to dive into.

I used to be team Blue Paladin Lance, and hardcore on that team, too. If you look at some of my old fics, you’ll see that. However since I am a contrary person by nature, I started to notice that Red Paladin Lance was way less liked, and so I started to like it more. I really grew fond of the dynamic Keith and Lance got to have as co-leaders, both because it was homoerotic as hell and because the symbolism was fun to explore, but klance is not the main reason I started to care so deeply for the lion change — it was actually Shiro and Allura.

I’m going to start with Shiro, because he’s one of the most fascinating characters in VLD, if not underdeveloped. Part of that fascination for me is that he probably has the most arcs and opportunities for character growth and development in the show, and yet somehow he’s the flattest. He’s portrayed as very one-dimensional in a lot of fic — he tends to be less of a character and more of a role. He’s the Space Dad, or the older brother, or the cool teacher, or the kind and wise friend, or even the stoic Black Paladin. He is loved, I think, but the role he plays is loved, not quite the person he is. And that makes sense, because that is exactly how he’s portrayed in canon.

To Keith, Shiro is “like a brother to [him]”, but what do we see of that dynamic? The show has a clear sense of how a brother acts, that’s a good chunk of Pidge’s character. We barely even know Matt, but Pidge carries herself in such a way that it’s clear when her brother shines through her. And yet even though Shiro also goes missing, twice even, Shiro does not shine through his brother. Keith’s impulses are his own, developed from general abandonment issues rather than Shiro’s specific absence. Shiro’s absence becomes less of Shiro’s absence and more of an absence of a beloved leader figure, kind of a martyr, a “Shiro would have wanted you to carry on”. It is really hard for us as a fandom to use Shiro’s disappearance as anything but a plot device, because that’s all it felt like! We have occasional moments with Shiro, enough to care about him in some way, but as a figure, not as a person. Someone pointed it out on one of my fics and I agree wholeheartedly — Shiro is not shown with any flaws, and that makes it really hard to love him, because you don’t really get the pleasure of defending him, of seeing his motivations, his reasons. Not until the very end, at least.

This is, in all honesty, likely just poor writing. Shiro’s character was honestly just sidelined to a role, because he is really not that present in the show. But I am going to work with the benefit of the doubt, and see if I can use the lion change to explain why we all kind of love Shiro anyway, despite the fact that he’s flat as hell.

Shiro isn’t the Black Paladin. He never was. He flew the Black Lion, yes, and he flew her well — but he was never her Chosen. He couldn’t have been. From the very beginning, the Black Lion was in mourning; she was in no space to choose a new paladin. She accepted Shiro, and she loved him, but he did not fall into her as much as he fell into the role she provided for him. He piloted the Black Lion, but he was not her Paladin. This is made obvious in two ways: in that he never got her bayard, and that from the very beginning, he set up a replacement for himself.

Doesn’t that strike anyone else as odd? I haven’t seen the show in five years, and I don’t plan on rewatching, but I do remember that every moment with Shiro almost had this underlying tension. The closest thing I have to canon off the top of my head is the Handbook (which I had to stop reading because they did everyone SO dirty there, even though some of it was honestly pretty funny), which was released in S2, and even that incredibly early canon talked about Keith replacing Shiro!

From the very beginning, Shiro was planning an out to his role. He knew it was not meant for him. He did the role well, but it was not his to do.

Aside from those two reasons, Shiro also…can’t be the Black Paladin. He can’t be that and himself, I mean. This part is a little more complicated, so I’m going to borrow some of my own tags from some awesome fanart I saw:

I really do think Shiro is defined by his humanity (as is heavily implied by his illness — this is a character who is completely and totally bound to his mortality. Of all the other characters, he is the one most familiar with death, so he is the one who is most intimate with the raw fear of being human. But more on that later), but it’s my last comment that I want to focus on — “he is DEFINED by his his humanity…even as his greatest asset is the part of him that is not human”.

Every second that Shiro is leader of Voltron, he is the Champion. That can literally be his only goal — he is the head of the fight against Zarkon and the Empire. Either Shiro comes out the Champion, or Zarkon does. Either Shiro has to grit his teeth and fight off the flashbacks and the fear and the pain and use the one thing that forces him to reconcile with the fact that he had his entire personhood stripped away (his arm, his Galra arm, one of their biggest advantages as a team; his connection to Zarkon through Black, something that can only help the war effort at a direct cost to him; everything he does in this war is shoving him right back into that Arena again and again and again), or Zarkon wins. Every second Shiro pilots Black, every time he plays her paladin, he has to be who the Empire made him to be. He has to be the Champion. Once again he is not Takashi Shirogane, the person, the astronaut, the man, he is the Role. He is the Space Dad he is the Pilot of the Black Lion he is the Champion. For every second he is in that lion he is stripping away himself.

Obviously, that is something that was never sustainable. On this argument alone, Shiro was going to waste away eventually. There was always going to be a point where Shiro was not going to be able to be the Champion anymore. There was always, from the very way the dynamic was set up, going to have to be a lion switch. Now, interestingly enough, there could have been a really easy fix to this: Black Paladin Allura. She’s already a born and raised leader, already shown her immense competence, already someone the rest of the paladins follow. With her at the helm, nothing else would have to change, right?

Well, maybe. We’ll never know. One part of that is absolutely true — Allura should have been a paladin from the very beginning. Her quintessence is canonically closest to the entirety of Voltron (something that bears its own essay,; the relationship between all six of the paladins and Voltron is wrought with heavy symbolism), she is the most highly trained, she is smart, and she actually wants to be out on the field. She should have been in that armour from day one.

But Allura cannot be the Black Paladin. Allura cannot handle other’s sacrifice.

Of course this is a complicated subject. Should a leader sit back and let her crew sacrifice themselves instead of her? Must she hold herself in higher regard, convince herself she’s more important? Of course not! Teams, especially Voltron, are built with assets. While not everyone might be ‘equal’ in the traditional sense, they are all integral, and expecting sacrifices is not the stance I am trying to take here. But the point of a team, especially a team so small and vital as Voltron, is that everyone is willing to be the sacrifice, as they have to be, and Allura simply can’t handle that. She shows us this from the beginning, when she disguises herself as Galra and is taken in place of anyone on the team she barely knows, and again in Oriande with the White Lion, and finally in the piece of shit canon ending. Allura has to be the sacrifice. Every time.

And how could she not be? The last time she spared herself of sacrifice, she lost her entire people. The last time she let others sacrifice themselves for her, she was left alone, to shoulder a war bigger and greater than she could ever handle. Allura is painfully familiar with the agony of being the survivor, and she cannot do that again. She cannot and will not put herself through that again. As the Black Paladin, she would have to let her team make sacrifices — she would have to let them have their own agency, their own decisions; she would have to let them choose to get hurt and choose to do risky things and analyse and react and act. As leader she would have to trust her team to put themselves in harm’s way, and not only that, but she would have to authorize them to do so.

Like Shiro cannot last as the Champion, Allura cannot last as the Survivor. Shiro cannot even last in Voltron, and it is foolish to keep Allura out of it. A lion change is absolutely necessary for the show to move forward, for the war to move forward. The initial team was doomed to fail.

How would it change, then? What would fit? I know I’ve said my piece. I know who I think would fit where. But since I’ve been comparing character arcs to their roles as paladins, I’d like to keep doing that — what about Keith makes me so sure that he’s the true Black Paladin?

I’ll show you with process of elimination. I know Black Paladin Lance is a favourite, and I can see why. Lance has many leadership qualities, is a good tactician, and cares deeply. However, aside from his desire for power making him less suitable for the role, Lance functions best as support, despite how much he hates it. He is the one who knows how to pick up the pieces of a broken situation. He is an excellent guide, which makes him an unbelievably valuable second. He is adaptable, so he can fill in for many different roles. He can step in for leader when necessary, but putting him in Black would encourage a more active role for him; would force him to anticipate and plan for specific outcomes rather than his strength as one who analyses any outcome as it arises and works within it then. Lance could be the Black Paladin, yes, but taking him from the body and placing him in the head would be a fool’s choice. It would be crippling to Voltron, to put the jack of all trades as a master of one. Lance’s arc is all about learning to love and trust himself as he is, as the seventh wheel. Not to put him in charge of the vehicle.

Well, what about Hunk? Hunk is incredibly intelligent and analytical. He probably could lead Voltron, and did in several occasions. But Hunk’s arc is interesting because it was handled so early in the show. Unlike the rest of the team, Hunk’s arcs were solved largely in the first season. His biggest flaws were his distrust of people and, literally, his inability to fly. He could not take his feet off the ground. He was so untrusting that he could not manage to take a step forward. However his bonding with Yellow and trust with the team and their subsequent and returned trust resolved these issues, more or less, which is probably why Hunk was treated more and more like a side character the longer VLD went on. Hunk didn’t need the role of Black Paladin because he had settled into the Yellow Paladin in a way that was sustainable.

Pidge is in a similar boat. Her arc, primarily, has been about finding her family. Voltron was almost second priority for her, or at least not her only first priority. And understandably so! As the youngest she was afforded with that lenience. Her growth was about growing into her own pain, about becoming her own person alongside what she had become in the absence of her brother. As the Black Paladin, she would no longer have the space to prioritize her search for her family alongside Voltron, so her position as Black Paladin would be unstable. She is best suited in Green, where she can focus on several things at once.

That really only leaves Keith. In many ways it comes full circle — the Black Lion healing from her grief by choosing the man who ran from his Galran heritage and his power as a leader, rather than the man who chose nationalism and power over anything else. Keith is Zarkon’s direct opposite, and as such is the other side of the same coin, the one who is truly Black’s Chosen. We know this because Keith is the one who wields the Black Bayard, and Keith is, from the very beginning, the one the rest of the team chooses to follow — I ask you whether it was for Shiro that the three other humans ran off to chase in the desert, or Keith? Who was it that Lance could not leave alone? Who was it that piqued Hunk’s curiousity? Who was it that challenged Pidge to choose Voltron, rather than the search for her family?

That covers Black Paladin Keith. But what about Red Paladin Lance? I’ve established already why he cannot be the Black Paladin, but why did he have to move from Blue? For that, I bring you another few slices from early, S2 and previous canon:

“I thought what we had was special!” “Seventh wheel, if you count the Alteans.” More than once, Lance laments over being forgotten. He struggles with feeling like anything but the extra, the unnecessary. Whether or not Blue Chose him is irrelevant — he does not feel Chosen by her. The Pilot of the Blue Lion position for Lance is as unsustainable as the Pilot of the Black Lion position for Shiro — Lance does not trust it. He doesn’t trust himself in the role, and doesn’t trust Blue in having chosen it for him. Obviously, this is not the role for him.

But Red? Keith’s Red Paladin, at least? Yes, he struggles with feeling like Keith’s second, but that is literally his arc. Lance’s development is about becoming his own person despite his own misgivings about being second-best. His role as the Red Paladin is the fulfilling of his arc, and is thus the best Lion for him, the Chosen. And Red did Choose him, mind you. There was an adjustment period, of course there was, but Red did more than let Lance pilot her. She opened up new possibilities for Lance — think the broadsword — that he could not see. Red saw his potential and revelled in it. She Chose him.

Lastly — and this turned out to be less relevant to the essay than I expected, but I do want to go over it a tad — is Shiro’s tie to humanity. I mentioned two important points: Shiro’s connection to mortality makes him the most intimate with his humanity out of all the characters, and he is undoubtedly the flattest character of them all. That is, if you don’t consider his clone to be part of his character.

But I’m begging you to reconsider. Reconsider, perhaps, who the clone is — Haggar had pure access to Shiro for a year, you remember. His thoughts, his dreams, his mannerisms, his priorities, his body. Even him at his most human, his most deranged, his most scared. She had Shiro then. She had Shiro when he had nothing to look forward to. She had Shiro when he hurt his crew to make sure they would live, at direct cost to himself.

She stripped him of his humanity — his connection to his own mortality. She took his illness from him. And who, then, did she return to the team? Who was clone? Shiro, mostly. The clone was happy to play with the team. The clone was clever. The clone believed, fully, that he was Shiro, only he was angrier and meaner, a little, and less capable of shoving down his own pain. Shiro, stripped of his tie to humanity and mortality, stripped of his compulsive need to be strained and stressed and the one everyone else can rely on, the Role rather than the Person, is emotional. He has flaws and outbursts. He can’t manage his own pain. He is is cruelest to the one person on the team — Lance — who canonically reminds him closest of himself.

Shiro, in the purest form that Haggar can make him, is flawed and self-hating. That is where our love for him comes. Not the man who pushes himself down at the same time as he sacrifices his personality to be someone for others, but the man who is struggling and can’t keep it locked down. That’s where it comes from.

Anyways. Like with my other essay, I’ll admit that this analysis is probably reading into this. The writing of VLD was flawed, at best, but regardless, I think the lion change is a rich amalgamation of the characters and who they really are.

[wellbelesbian]

Seven Sentence Sunday

thanks for tagging me @hushed-chorus!

here's another snippet from my Shoulder To Shoulder sequel fic. i had originally wanted to post it yesterday as that was the day of Durham Miner's Gala, but didn't finish it on time, so i'll just post it when i get it done.

Even the yellow and white LGSM banner is smaller than most here, made with wood, fabric and paint we could get for cheap from hardware and crafts stores.

"Now, that's just showing off." Niamh rolls her eyes as another banner passes us. It's twice the size of most of the others, a portrait of four bland, blonde men shaking hands while limply holding a clover, thistle, rose and daffodil. At the top it reads Durham Miner's Association, Trimdon Grange Colliery, and at the bottom, Unity is strength.

"Do you think they're compensating for something?" Agatha nudges Baz suggestively and he shakes his head with a chuckle.

rambling and banner photos below the cut

i'm allowed to make fun of the trimdon grange banner, it's my hometown's and everyone agrees is stupidly large and hard to carry. why does it need this massive red trim? just to be big and obnoxious!

(picture is my own)

anyway. i said this in my author's note at the beginning of Shoulder To Shoulder, but my great uncle Tommy (my grandad's big sister's husband) was a big figure in the Miner's Union. he died of cancer about ten years back and hundreds of miners came to his funeral to pay their respects.

his side of the family lives pretty far away, and i don't get to see them often, but yesterday was Durham Big Meeting (also known as the Miner's Gala), a huge gathering of ex-miners where they march with their banners. it's a celebration and memorial in one. and this year, my uncle has been painted on a new banner (he's the one in the middle), so my extended family came up for the weekend. turnout was actually lower than usual due to the rain, but ah well.

my great auntie, his wife, asks me every time i see her "have you got a girlfriend yet?" (i'm chronically single 😭) and told me she wishes her husband had still been alive when their grandson came out, and could have met his boyfriend. i have every faith that he would have been an ally, just like her. he was such a strong, funny, loving man.

so yeah. this new fic was inspired by that banner (also the Mark Ashton Trust and LGSM banners) and the Miner's Gala, and then I decided to explore more things Simon and Baz would have lived through between the end of STS and now.

hopefully i can finish it in at least a somewhat timely manner.

tags and hellos: @forabeatofadrum @j-nipper-95 @artsyunderstudy @that-disabled-princess @prettygoododds @confused-bi-queer @imagineacoolusername @ic3-que3n @aristocratic-otter @larkral @ivelovedhimthroughworse @cutestkilla @shemakesmeforget @fatalfangirl @ebbpettier @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @alexalexinii @youarenevertooold @shrekgogurt @bookish-bogwitch @thewholelemon @shutup-andletme-go @supercutedinosaurs @theearlgreymage @ileadacharmedlife @alleycat0306 @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @comesitintheclover @blackberrysummerblog @orange-peony and @noblecorgi

[minty-mumbles]

Marks on Your Body, Marks on Your Soul

Summary: Wind was part of the largest soulmate group that Outset Island had seen in nearly a century. There were eight people in his soulgroup. Nine, including him. Eight corresponding little marks were inked onto the skin of his forearm. Eight precious marks that symbolized that he was going to be so, so loved.

(Read on AO3 here) (There's also a bonus Warriors angst scene in the notes that I couldn't fit into the fic)

~~~

Wind was part of the largest soulmate group that Outset Island had seen in nearly a century. There were eight people in his soulgroup. Nine, including him. Eight corresponding little marks were inked onto the skin of his forearm. Eight precious marks that symbolized that he was going to be so, so loved.

In another rarity, not one of his eight soulmates lived on Outset Island. It was a small island, and while Wind hadn’t seen everyone’s soulmarks- some people liked to keep them private- they wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret. Everyone knew everyones’ business on Outset. If one of the island’s residents was one of Wind’s soulmates, the rumors of someone else with eight soulmarks would have spread to him when he was still a young child.

So, Wind was an anomaly, but he didn’t mind. Those eight little marks that symbolized his soulmates were something to be cherished, even if they made him an oddity.

His first soul mark, the one nearest to his hand, was some kind of red bird with its wings stretched wide in flight. Wind had never seen a bird like that before, and even his Granny didn’t recognize it. Wind thought it must mean that this soulmate was from some faraway island with animals and birds that no one on Outset Island had ever seen before.

The next seemed to be a coin of some sort. It was split into four sections, with each section a different color, green, blue, red, and purple. It looked nothing like the rupees Wind was familiar with, but maybe this soulmate was from a distant land too?

Below the coin was a simple blue ocarina. Wind wondered what it meant or symbolized, Perhaps they were a musician? Wind had always smiled at the thought. He always loved listening to music, even if he couldn’t play an instrument himself. Maybe his soulmate would teach him how to play!

Next was a profile of the dog's head, thrown back and mouth open as if caught in the moment of a triumphant howl. (Something had always rubbed him wrong, thinking about this mark as a dog. It looked like a dog, but something about that seemed off to Wind. This animal was no tame beast.)

The next mark was a small pink rabbit, sitting up on its hind legs. Wind’s Granny had cooed over this particular mark plenty of times when he was a child, remarking that whoever it belonged to must be a very kind individual. Wind wasn’t so sure about that, the rabbit might be cute, but the way it defiantly stared back at Wind made him think twice about calling this soulmate soft.

Below the rabbit was a picture of a fairy. It was green, which was an unusual color for a fairy, but other than that looked pretty standard. Maybe this soulmate was a healer?

Next was a silver sword, wrapped in a piece of blue fabric. It was the most cryptic mark of them all, revealing the least about the person it belonged to, other than the fact perhaps they were good at fighting. Wind wondered, often, what the blue fabric symbolized.

The last mark, which was nearly nestled into the crook of his elbow, was a bow with an arrow drawn and ready to fire. When Wind had been young, he’d thought the mark was laid over a background of red. When he’d grown up, though, he realized that it wasn't simply a background of red, it was blood, a large splatter of blood. That mark had always made his Granny nervous, but it had never bothered Wind.

He’d spent long hours staring at these marks in wonder as he grew up. Daydreams of what his soulmates would be like were constant. Every time a ship arrived at Outset with new people aboard, Wind would be there, trying to sneak a glimpse of their forearms. Even the trading ships that came biweekly would draw Wind down to the docks, just in case there was someone new aboard he hadn’t met before- someone who shared seven of the same marks with him. 

Of course, if his marks were romantic none of the sailors would ever be his soulmates as they were much older than Wind. But with such a large soulgroup, odds were that his bonds were platonic, and there were no age restrictions for platonic soulmates.

~~~

With such a large group of soulmates, Wind couldn’t just refer to them as “his soulmates.” It quickly became cumbersome, when speaking about his soulmarks, to constantly have to clarify which one he meant. It didn’t take long for him to come up with nicknames. 

It wasn’t a strange thing to do, especially for those who had more than one soulmark.

Feathers, for the red bird. Then Coin, Ocarina, and Doggy, which soon evolved into Dog as he grew older. Bunny, which quickly became Rabbit. 

Flicker for the fairy, after that way fairies flitted around when they flew, and the way their light would flicker like a candle. And finally, Sword and Bow. Most of the nicknames were simplistic and not at all creative but Wind had been four when he’d made them, so he cut himself some slack. 

~~~

When Wind is seven, Dog’s soulmark changes. 

It’s an insane thing to say- soulmarks don’t change. The only change that a mark should ever undergo was fading away to gray when your soulmate died. Other than that, they were set in stone. 

But it was undeniable. One day when he went to sleep, the mark was of a brown dog. When he woke up, the dog was gray, with new markings that hadn’t been there before. Startled by the change, he ran to show his Granny. 

At first, she’d been horrified to hear her grandchild shouting about a changed soumark and see unexpected gray on his arm. But it soon became apparent that the mark had not faded to death-gray. The eyes of the animal were still a brilliant blue.

His Granny had scrubbed at his forearm in a basin of water so hard his arm had turned red. When she finally admitted that the mark truly had changed, and Wind hadn’t simply managed to color it somehow, she had insisted he not tell anyone of this development, not even his little sister. 

Frightened by her intensity, Wind had agreed. 

Granny inspected his marks daily after that. It took months for her to be satisfied they would stay the way they were. 

~~~

A year later, Wind noticed that Flicker’s mark had changed as well. Previously, it had been a simple fairy. Now, the yellow symbol of the triforce glimmered faintly from the center of the fairy’s glow. It was barely noticeable unless you squinted. 

Wind, remembering how Granny had fretted and stressed over Dog’s soulmark, kept his mouth shut. The yellow of the triforce was so subtle that no one who wasn’t closely inspecting it would notice it, so he was able to keep this new change secret, even from his grandmother.

~~~

The night before Wind turned twelve, he lay awake shivering in bed. It wasn’t a cold night- quite the opposite, in fact. 

But something felt… wrong.

It felt like someone was watching him. He’d checked and it wasn’t Arryl, who was deeply asleep. Granny was sleeping in the other room, so it wasn’t her. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was very wrong.

With nothing to justify the dread he was feeling, Wind lay awake in bed, unable to sleep. He drew his blanket over his head like he was five again and hiding from monsters. The feeling of dread persisted, not allowing him to slip into the comfort of sleep.

As his mind often did in quiet, solitary moments like these, it turned toward the topic of his soulmarks. Since the changes in two of his marks nearly six years ago, he’d grown to understand just how strange the fact that his marks had changed was.

Wind had never heard of anyone’s marks changing. When he was eight, he’d gotten it in his mind to run around Outset Island and ask everyone he could find if they’d ever heard stories about soulmarks changing. The answers were always a resounding no.

When Granny had eventually heard what he’d been doing, she'd given him a stern reprimand. He understood now why she was so strict about not telling people that his marks had changed. People weren’t kind to those they saw as different or strange. It was probably a very fortunate thing no one had ever noticed the change in his marks. 

Wind didn’t know what people would do if they noticed, but he couldn’t imagine it would be pretty. 

Wind worried about his marks often. He worried about what might happen if someone noticed that two of them had changed. (Unlikely after all this time, but all it would take was one person who had been there when Wind was born and had inspected his marks asking why the dog wasn’t brown like they remembered.) 

He worried about what it meant that Dog and Flicker’s marks had changed. Was it possible that they would change again in the future? Would his other marks change? Was it possible that the marks had changed because the gods had messed up his marks, and maybe he wasn’t meant to be with these soulmates after all?

Wind had nightmares, sometimes. That one day he would wake up and his marks would be gone. That he would meet his soulmates, and they wouldn't have any mark representing him on their forearms. 

He tried his best to ignore those dreams.

When midnight had long since come and gone and the feeling of dread and anticipation still haunted him, Wind thought it might be a good idea to clear his head. The night air might help. Maybe he should head to the lookout, he thought. He would be able to watch the stars easier from there, and no one would bother him if he ended up falling asleep. 

~~~

Wind turned twelve, and everything went horribly, utterly wrong. 

After Arryl had been taken and he’d set out on his quest to save her, Wind hadn’t bothered to look at his soulmarks much. He didn’t forget they were there! No one could forget their soulmates. 

It was just… they’d become less important in the face of the possibility of losing his sister. She was out there, possibly in danger, possibly dead, and Wind was pretty sure his soulmarks weren’t going to go away anytime soon. He hadn’t even met any of them yet. He couldn’t afford to spend his time thinking about them when he didn’t even know what they looked like.

Then he’d gone to Fire Mountain to get the power bracelets. 

Even with the aid of the ice arrows that kept the volcano from erupting, the heat was nearly unbearable. It felt like if he stayed on the island for too long, the very air itself would burn his skin.

That didn’t happen, thankfully. But what did happen was almost worse.

Fighting off the fire bats so he could reach the power bracelets had been the most annoying part of the island. There were several of them, coming one right after another, but they weren’t that strong. He’d been careless, more focused on avoiding plunging himself into lava than the swooping bats overhead.

His carelessness had earned him a few burns. He hadn’t thought much about the burns at the time besides pushing away the pain. Getting the power bracelets and getting out before the ice arrows wore off was more important than fussing over some small injuries. 

Later, when his adrenaline had faded and he was safe enough to look over his injuries, he realized where exactly the burns were, and Wind had never felt more horrified and sick to his stomach in his life. The burn wrapped around the back of Wind’s left arm. One edge of the burned skin stopped less than a quarter of an inch away from Rabbit’s mark. 

Wind ended up using the only fairy he had to heal the burns. It was a waste of resources, probably, but Wind couldn't help it. He hadn’t wanted to heal it naturally and risk infection or something similar worsening the injury. He couldn’t live with the possibility of it leaving a scar. He couldn’t risk it. Not so close to one of his marks.

What would happen if the burn had been placed just a few inches to the right? It could have ruined Rabbit’s mark. It wouldn’t have affected his bond with his soulmate. 

He’d heard stories about people whose marks got burned off or scarred over before- it wasn’t something that was unheard of. In many of the stories, the injured party still managed to find their soulmate in the end, but it was more difficult to do so when you didn’t have a mark for your soulmate to identify with. It left the burden of finding your soulmate entirely on you, saddling you with the responsibility of recognizing the mark that represented you. 

It also left you with no way to tell if your soulmate had died. 

After that, Wind started to pay more attention while he fought. He was more careful with guarding his left arm, and he inspected his marks more often. Just as reassurance. Just to remind him that even if everything went wrong, somewhere out in the world there were eight people waiting for him. 

~~~

It was this new caution that led him to discover an interesting quirk of Coin’s soulmark. Wind was sure this was a recent development, as he would have noticed this when he was a kid and still enamored with his soulmarks. 

Wind had never heard of anything like this happening, but… his fourth soulmark changed, sometimes. He was sure of it- had even seen it happen once. The difference was so small that no one besides himself would ever notice, and he kept his mouth shut about it. 

He knew two of his other marks had changed when he was little, but for the most part, Wind was able to delude himself. Perhaps he had misremembered the color of the dog or had simply never noticed the triforce hidden in the green fairy until he was eight. Perhaps those marks hadn’t changed at all. 

But this…

He couldn’t lie to himself about this.

He didn’t know what it meant, but every so often, the four sections of the coin would separate, showing the smallest sliver of his skin between the marks, clearly showing that there were four separate soulmarks instead of the usual one.

He didn’t know what it meant, but the mark always fused back together eventually, so Wind hoped everything would be fine. It was just one more thing to ask his soulmates about when he finally found them. 

In his mind, Wind started thinking that having eleven soulmates instead of eight would be pretty cool, if a little overwhelming, but he kept that thought to himself.

(If he started having nightmares about his faceless soulmate getting ripped limb from limb until they were torn into four pieces and left in a bloody pile, then he kept that to himself, too)

~~~

When Wind discovered that Bow’s mark had gone gray, it was the worst hours of his life.

He’d checked his marks over carefully in the morning- noting that the second mark was once again split into four- and had been satisfied with them. They were all as they should be. They had been free of blemishes, with colors just as vibrant as they had been the night before.

Later that morning, Wind was working on tying up the sail on his little boat. The storm clouds on the horizon didn't look promising, and he needed to get the rigging all tied down before the storm hit. As he gave one last tug on the rope, he happened to catch a glimpse of his forearm, and the sight of gray near his elbow startled him completely out of his concentration. 

Dropping the rope he’d been using to secure the sails, Wind grasped at his arm. His eyes hadn’t been deceiving him- his last mark was no longer bright and colorful. The bright red of the blood and the brown of the bow had been leached away, leaving the mark a sickly gray.

Breath caught in his throat and he staggered, a soft keen escaped him without permission.

He’d heard of this happening before- marks fading to death-gray before a person had even met their soulmate. It was always a sad tale when someone was killed before their time, and left behind grieving partners who didn’t even have a name or face to go with the gray mark.

And now Wind would be one of those people, forever left wondering about that last mark. It would stay with him for the rest of his life, a horrible reminder of the pain his soulmate no doubt suffered before their untimely death.

Wind didn’t know how long the mark had been gray by the time he noticed. How long had one of his soulmates been gone from this world, while he had remained blissfully unaware? 

His heart sank into his stomach as he slowly sank to his knees. He felt more alone than he ever has, alone on his boat. His sister was gone, his Granny unconsolable to the point of being nearly unresponsive, he hadn't met any of his soulmates, and one of them was dead.

Wind sat alone in the bottom of his boat, the rain beating against his form. The waves were tall. Wind could faintly feel them tossing the boat around, but couldn’t muster up the energy to care. 

Let the waves take him. What was the point? One of his soulmates was gone! Before Wind had even gotten the chance to meet them, they were gone. 

In the dim light of the storm, everything looked gray, so it took a while to realize that the bow mark was changing again. The realization came to Wind slowly as he stared at his arm blankly but when it did, Wind whined, squeezing his eyes shut.

Why couldn't the gods just let him be? Why did his marks keep changing? Were his soulmates with monsters? Shifting abominable creatures that couldn't stay consistent even after they died? Were the gods refusing to let his soulmate rest even after they died? 

Why why why? 

It took even longer for Wind to gain the courage to open his eyes and look at the marks again. When he did, it registered that the mark wasn’t simply changing. It was regaining its color.

The relief that slammed into Wind was what finally broke the dam in his mind. The numbness that had crashed over him when he realized that one of his marks had faded finally broke, and Wind cried. He cried from the relief, the pain, the worry, panic, and grief he’d felt. 

Wind wondered if any of his other soulmates had noticed that the Bow had gone gray. Had Rabbit cried? Did Feather drop whatever they were doing to find a private place to grieve? Had Blue screamed when they saw?

By the time Wind had uncurled and started taking in the outside world again, the storm had long since passed. The King of Red Lions was able to guide the boat through the treacherous waves safely, but without Wind’s help, they’d been blown miles off course. Wind didn’t even care. 

His soulmate was safe- safe, safe, safe, they were safe, he had the mark to prove it- and alive. That was all Wind needed to know.

Most of the rest of the day was spent clutching at his forearm and staring at the last mark in alternating horror and relief. Slowly, the horror abated, leaving a sharp flash of indignant anger in its wake. 

How dare one of Wind’s soulmates nearly die before meeting him? That was totally unfair of them. Wind was so going to punch them in the arm when they met as payback for scaring him so much.

~~~

For once, Wind hadn’t heard of the arrival of a new ship before it made landfall on Outset Island. He was notified by a kid running up to Granny’s house in the morning, yelling something and banging excitedly on the door. 

Wind was the one to open the door, looking down at the kid in confusion. He’d seen him before, running around the island, but couldn’t for the life of him remember the kid’s name.

As far as Wind knew, they weren’t expecting any visitors. It was late afternoon, early enough to assume everyone would be awake, but still too early to be calling on your neighbors without giving warning. Scenarios of pirates (the unhonorable kind) attacking the island, or someone getting hurt or even dying flooded Wind’s mind. Anything that would make someone come calling this early.

At the unasked question in Wind’s eyes, the kid, who was nearly shaking in excitement nearly yelled that there was a strange group of people on the island, and that they were looking for him.

When the kid finally got around to saying the group consisted of eight people, a shock of anxiety shot through Wind. Was it possible? After all this time? 

Wind was still only fourteen and all told, that was a young age to meet all your soulmates, but Wind felt so much older. He’d been through so much, sometimes he felt ancient. And he’d done it all without the aid of his soulmates. 

It would be strange to finally meet them now, if these strangers truly were his soulmates. 

The kid was still looking at him expectantly, eyes wide in excitement. Everyone on Outset knew about Wind’s soulmates. Even if they hadn’t gotten a good look at Wind’s soulmarks, they knew. Having a group of soulmarks that big was going to make you a constant source of gossip. 

The gossip could have spread beyond Outset, and if there was a soulgroup of eight looking for their ninth soulmate, those rumors might have been enough to bring them here.

Wind did his best to keep a straight face, even as he was screaming inside. It probably didn’t work. Granny had always said he had a horrible poker face, and she was right. There was no way that he could hide the shock, hope, and excitement that crossed his face.

Wind quickly thanked the kid and slammed the door shut, but not before the kid ran off, no doubt to spread the gossip to everyone else on the island. Shoving the thought out of his mind, Wind ran to put on some acceptable clothes. There was no way he was meeting people who might be his soulmates while he was still in his pajamas. 

He tore through the house to his and Arryl’s room, earring a shocked exclamation from Granny, who was sitting in the main room working on her knitting. Wind ignored her questions about who was at the door. 

Arryl- who was still asleep after staying up too late last night- murmured sleepily as Wind slammed the door open, but was quickly soothed back to sleep by his assurances. It took Wind longer than it usually did for him to choose what to wear that day. He had to look nice if he was going to meet his soulmates.

By the time he ran back out of the room, his Granny no longer looked confused. No doubt more of their neighbors had stopped by to inform her of the news. The people on Outset might be gossipers, but Wind also silently thanked them. Outset wasn’t a very large island, and it shouldn’t have taken this long for the group to find him if they were really looking. Someone probably decided to take pity on him and send them in the wrong direction to give him a bit more time to prepare.

Of course, this was all assuming that they truly were his soulmates. There was a possibility that it was a complete coincidence that eight strangers no one on the island had ever seen before were looking for him specifically.

Yeah, even in his head, that sounded unlikely.

Even with helpful neighbors and getting dressed quickly as he could, when he stepped outside, a group of strangers was already coming up the path.

They stopped a good bit away from Granny’s house huddling together. Wind could feel their eyes on him, and his face was betraying his hope and excitement. 

Though the group obviously saw him, they clustered a little ways away, talking about something. Wind winced, his expression falling ever so slightly. Did they not want him now that they’d seen him? 

Each one of the strangers was obviously older than him- if these were his soulmates, he would be the youngest person in the group. Even the smallest of the group, someone in a colorful tunic who was shorter than Wind, looked to be older than he was. Were they disappointed their last soulmate was young?

On top of that, every member of the group was heavily armed, even if it wasn’t obvious. Most of them had a sword strapped to their back and several other weapons besides that. The magic that Wind could sense from them even at this distance told him they had more than enough hidden defenses as well.

Even the one in a blue tunic- who carried no sword- was armed with a bow and quiver. More excitement filled Wind as he realized that the bowman was heavily scarred. The kind of scars that come from injuries that might kill you. (And then there was guilt that he felt excited that someone had suffered.)

Breath stuttered in Wind’s chest, and he was nearly bouncing on the balls of his feet. Still, he didn't approach. He would let them do that. Because what if Wind was wrong, and these weren’t his soulmates after all? Arryl would never let him live it down if he ran up to a bunch of people just assuming they were his soulmates. That would just be embarrassing.

After a few more moments of Wind barely being able to contain himself, one of the strangers peeled away from the group. The others mingled together, talking but still obviously keeping an eye on Wind.

The man who approached was wearing armor- a pauldron and chainmail. Wind wondered about that for a split second. Even people who were going to be fighting often opted for padded cloth or leather armor, not heavy plate or chain that could cause you to sink like a rock if you were knocked into the water.

The thing that really caught Wind’s attention, though, was the blue scarf that was wrapped around the man’s neck. 

A blue scarf, or in other words, a blue scrap of fabric.

Sword.

Wind’s hand drifted up instinctively to rub at his marks, feeling a bright grin break outacross his face. The sleeve of his undertunic was in the way, but that man seemed to catch the motion anyways.

In seconds, the man who was almost certainly one of Wind’s soulmates stood in front of him. His smile was confident as he held out a hand expectantly to Wind. Despite his confidence, Wind could feel his hesitance. 

There was an unspoken understanding between them now. They both thought that they were each other's soulmate, and that the rest of the group behind the man was the rest of Wind’s soulgroup. But there was only one way to know, and although there wasn’t anything wrong with not covering your soulmarks, asking flat out to see them if you weren’t someone's soulmate was a very violating question.

Wind hesitantly held out his arm, using his other arm to push up his sleeve. 

The man instantly relaxed at the sight, the tenseness in his shoulders melting away. Joy and relief spread across his features as Wind watched the man’s eyes (as Wind watched his soulmate’s eyes!) trail down the line of soulmarks until he reached Sword’s mark. 

Until he reached his mark.

Wind watched a shiver go up the man’s spine. Wind had heard countless tales of what it was like to see the soulmark that represented you for the first time, and now he was witnessing it in real life.

The stranger-who-wasn't-a-stranger smiled at him, warm affection filling his eyes. Then he spoke for the first time, the words tender. “There you are, little seagull. We’ve been searching everywhere for you.”