#also i think i became kinda obsessed with tumblr so it will be a good thing

[beamorgan]

Favourite Reads of the Year

I will not be ranking these, because that would hurt my heart. Buckle up folks, there are a lot of amazing books out there

The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells

I know, I KNOW, I'm late to the party but omg this whole series is just as good as people say!!! I know I said I wouldn't be ranking, but if I was these would be fighting for the top spot. I have already relistened to all the audiobooks. I anticipate rereading them literally every year from now on. I would die for Murderbot, which it would think is a stupid thing for a human to do when there is a SecUnit right there. [adult, scifi]

Emily Wilde's Map of the Otherlands by Heather Fawcett

Sequel to last year's fav Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries, this follows a bullheaded academic trying find the magical door that will let her faerie boyfriend back into his faerie kingdom. Chaos ensues in the Alps. It's fabulous, and the author's approach to using folklore is very similar to my own writing, which I love and also get imposter syndrome about. 10/10 recommend [adult, historical fantasy]

Model Home by Solomon Rivers

Would you like to be repeatedly punched in the gut? Look no further than this story of racism and child abuse in a Texas McMansion, with gorgeous prose and a genderqueer protagonist and the laundry list of content warnings you can expect with the genre. It hurt so good. [adult, contemporary gothic horror]

You Should Be So Lucky by Cat Sebastian

This love affair between a baseball play and a sports reporter was recced to me by the lovely @colubrina and boy was it worth the two-day binge it inspired! Romance can be very hit-or-miss for me, but this knocked it out of the park (please enjoy my pun). I didn't even have to know anything about baseball to love it! [adult, historical (1960s) romance]

The Locked Tomb Series by Tamsyn Muir

Another tumblr fav, FOR A REASON. Gideon is hilarious. Harrow is an absolute mess. Nona is BABY, my beloved. (Camilla and Palamedes have my whole entire heart). Also, the audiobook narrator is fantastic. In the words of the author, the buns are also fried chicken. [adult, sci fantasy]

Master and Commander by Patrick O'Brian

This one is @elodieunderglass's fault. Historical buffoonery on boats. The main characters are ridiculous. The sailing jargon is incomprehensible. It's great. [adult, historical fiction]

All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung

This is a gorgeous memoir of an interracial adoptee trying to make contact with her birth family while pregnant with her own child. It grapples thoughtfully with reconnecting to a lost culture, the complexities of family history, and the social and legal barriers adoptees face to learning about themselves. [adult, memoir]

Death in the Spires by KJ Charles

I devour everything Charles writes, so I was EXCITED for this mystery. She made it very clear on social media "It's not a kissing book!!" (it's kinda still a kissing book). She wrote a stonking book, as usual, with an underdog protagonist revisiting the murder that happened during his toxic time at Oxford university. [adult, historical mystery]

Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar

My favourite literary fiction read of the year, this meditation on Iranian diaspora identity is written by a poet and you can tell. I would suck the prose up through a straw if I could. The protagonist is an addict and also quite suicidal. It was fun :) [adult, literary fiction]

She Who Became the Sun by Shelly Parker-Chan

and the sequel, He Who Drowned the World. I don't even know how to sell this, all I want to do is flail incoherently about how amazing it is. IT'S AMAZING. JUST READ IT. (wait I know: this satisfied the part of me that was obsessed with Mulan as a kid) [adult, historical fantasy]

A Little Trickery by Roseanna Pike

The voicey-est book I've ever read. I screenshot like every other page. It follows an orphaned girl trying to survive in Tudor England through various means, such as faking a miracle in the church where her gay best friend is priest. [adult, historical fiction]

At the End of the River Styx by Michelle Kulwiki

My friend wrote a book! It made me cry!!! They were delighted with this!!! Please give this to any teenager in your life who needs to see thoughtful representation of grief and depression and boys in love. [YA, contemporary fantasy]

[moonshynecybin]

idk how to formulate this exactly but i don't think that marc was under much pressure from his parents, at least not financially. you have to remember that 1) from 2002(when marc was 9) two brothers became his sponsors and basically paid for everything that concerned racing(helmet, all the equipment, entry fees i imagine). i do think he was under so much pressure to perform and fullfil their expectations and 2) his father(idk about his mother) was still working in marc's first years in the championship(i'm not sure until when but definitely in 2008 and 2009, as marc was traveling alone with emilio). i saw some people say that 'his family depended on him since he was 15' but i don't think that's true, firstly bc his father(parents?) was still working and i don't think marc made that much(he said that he basically did first 3 season for nothing and only made real money in moto 2)

first off i didnt know some of this stuff about emilio/his sponsorship stuff, so thanks for sharing its good food for thought in this arena and lends some nuance to the situation. sick. i AMMMM going to defend at least part of my interpretation here bc i yam who i yam, but in short i think there is a pretty undeniable financial insecurity (or at least AWARENESS of financial insecurity) through marc's childhood, that i decided using my own god given right to use armchair psychology on athletes had an impact on him! i agree with you that marc's parents didnt put any pressure on him-- everyone freely admits that, like i dont think it was a thing where roser and julia sat him down and said 'you are our only shot' or anything:

BUT at the same time, theyve also all been very candid about being blue collar workers in a sport that is pretty expensive, especially when marc and alex were younger: (x) (x)

i will also admit that i couldnt find a source for them losing their jobs in the 2008 financial crisis-- i think i read that on tumblr a long time ago and assimilated it into my brain so shame on me if its wrong cuz i looked pretty hard lol... but i WILL say that even if marc was never pressured by his parents, and even if he had a lot of his costs as a teen covered by sponsors, i dont think that excludes the crux of my initial argument from being a possibility: that marc was aware of his family's less than ironclad financial status and that it may have helped motivate him to succeed in a specific way that fed into his baseline i-cried-everytime-i-lost-as-a-child-tendencies. like im not saying its his sole motivator (god no. hes organically insane) or this deep wound he carries inside of himself, more something that informs how hes moved through his career (defending his move to andorra in the thick of the tax scandal thing by saying hes a young athlete who doesnt know how long his career will last which kind of implies he wants to pay less taxes to keep his money that he earned, and not getting a sportscar or flashing a lot of his money all the time both come to mind-- granted there are other marc personality factors at play here, but i dont think it hurts my argument lol). like growing up without much money kinda sticks with you. is all i was saying. like its literally a reason julia gives for why his kids are so obsessed with each other to this day. which i think is INTERESTING IS ALLLL

[feelthesturmanddrangintheair]

On Nosferatu and Dracula, Mina & Ellen

I loved Nosferatu but I hate the online discourse about it. It’s literally making me crazy. This is a pic of all of you bitches right now:

I have a huge problem with literal readings of this movie at all. It’s obviously not the point of the damned thing. But, Ellen/Thomas shippers, I'm coming for you now.

I’ve noticed people online, on tiktok, tumblr etc, shipping Ellen/Thomas the exact same way I’ve seen Mina/Jonathan since Dracula Daily. And the Mina thing already frustrated me, but the Ellen one makes me crazy.

(they’re not the same character)

But I guess I understand the instinct?

Modern vampire media is obsessed with the male vampire as the sexual/romance object. Twilight, Vampire Diaries, True Blood, Buffy. (Interview with a vampire doesn’t count (lol count) cause it’s all from Vamp perspective. Also it's profoundly gay). (However Anne Rice does get enormous kudos for basically dragging the vampire from hammer horror into boyfriend material, so it is relevant i guess?).

The modern approach is that the subtext has become text “Yes we do like dracula and we do want to fuck him thank you very much”.

It’s always been the subtext of Victorian vampire stories - which were riffing off the already dark, brooding male figures in literature before that (Rochester, Byronic heroes, also Byron) and combining them with Eastern folk tales. In the original Dracula Mina and her plucky group of fuckbois slay the vampire. He is defeated and good Christian morals are preserved.

However, Dracula is that bitch - he’s an object of fascination for everyone in the book, especially Mina. The title of the book is “Dracula” not “Jonathan Harker is a good husband actually”. 

In the late 19th century gothic literature, the vampire and the monster was The Other. They were feared but also hypnotic - a beguiling, seductive other. Some women gave in to such temptation (Lucy) and some stood stoic in the face of it (Mina). But the temptation was still there. That is why it is powerful to triumph over it.

The Text: Dracula is scary and we shall defeat him The Subtext: But also don’t you think Dracula is kinda sexy?

That is and remains the subtext in all good gothic horror novels of the 19th century: you don’t literally want to fuck death or a monster but also, maybe in your subconscious, you kinda want to fuck death. You might want to fuck the monster. Maybe you want to be bad.

So when movies began making vampire stories - Dracula, Nosferatu - this theme became stronger in the visual medium. The monster was sexual, and the tension of the film was always the push and pull of attraction and horror between it and the fair maiden.

Later in the 20th century, it became more explicit, like everything else. Sexy vampire movies and exploitation movies in the 70s give way to Francis Ford Coppola’s ridiculous, fantastic, opulent “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” in the 1990s. A film that labors with every breath to faithfully adapt the novel, then throws that labour away to turn Mina into Dracula’s reincarnated soul mate. I find this movie perplexing but fabulous. I have watched it probably 6 times in the past 3 years.

And then the 2000s teen vampire obsession. You have Buffy obviously, with her litany of vampire boyfriends (I’m a Spike fan - Angel is BORING). Hilariously for this discussion, Buffy is a slayer who dates vampires, so it’s less Mina/Dracula and more Van Helsing/Dracula. 

(huh there is a market for that)

But where Buffy took what Anne Rice did and turned it into a weekly fun drama for teens (and tweens who probably should not have been watching), Stephanie Meyer evolves the vampire again. Twilight exploded the Vampire Boyfriend into the mainstream. In the early 2010s you couldn’t escape YA vampire and monster boyfriend fiction. You even had the CW jumping on board with The Vampire Diaries ffs

So after Twilight, wanting to fuck a vampire or monster became somewhat mainstream.

In the 2020s, vampires being the main love interest has fully transcended the subtext from the original stories. The monster has become a protective puppy in our beds. Say it with me “We have defanged the vampire”. And like all big, crazy trends, eventually they run out of steam and become unfashionable. There is nothing particularly shocking left to milk from this archetype. Vampires became dull, untrendy, old news. They were supplanted by dystopias and fairy courts.

(I think ACOTAR is more honest about what readers actually want - most people aren’t monster fuckers. Most people’s interest in vampire erotica is rooted in a powerful, sexy, somewhat feminine man magicking you away from your hum-drum life. Twilight is the dishonest version of ACOTAR. ACOTAR says “Yeah we just wanna fuck Howl from Howls Moving Castle leave me alone”)

I digress.

Dracula Daily started in 2021. A simple idea: using substack, send the text of Dracula out, on the timeline that matches the epistolary novel’s dates. Tumblr being tumblr, we latch on and from 2022, the yearly run of Dracula Daily is an integral part of the tumblr experience. 

Like a book club with thousands of members, Tumblr has basically conducted a multi-year close reading and textual analysis of Dracula.

What has been most surprising is the volume of readers who have discovered the incredible character of Mina, and her sweet and strong relationship with Jonathan.

I think, in comparison to the often milquetoast relationship between these two on screen (I'll call it the cuckification of Jonathan) and the reduction often of Mina to a swooning maiden, Stoker’s original text is a revelation. 

In the book, Mina is a headstrong, intelligent and resourceful operator. Without her, the group would have failed and Dracula would have England in his thrall. The men around her respect her. She works tirelessly to save Jonathan in the first place, then England.

Jonathan and Mina make an excellent team - once reunited, her determination to extinguish the thing that killed Lucy, and his first-hand knowledge combines to help defeat him. A now oft-quoted section shows that when Mina has been bitten and is in Dracula’s thrall Jonathan writes:

“To one thing I have made up my mind: if we find out that Mina must be a vampire in the end, then she shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone. I suppose it is thus that in old times one vampire meant many; just as their hideous bodies could only rest in sacred earth, so the holiest love was the recruiting sergeant for their ghastly ranks.”

Very sweet stuff. Very wife-guy. Isn’t Mina lucky?

So we now have so much fandom for Mina and Jonathan.

And it’s very sweet and interesting - it’s presented often as a radical, subversive take “I think Dracula sucks and is abusive. Mina and Jonathan belong together!”. It’s a classic “only on tumblr would this be considered a radical take”. But also “Only in the 21st century is this a radical take”.

It’s like Christine/Raoul shippers in the POTO fandom (I am one but however it’s because I truly do not think Christine is right for Erik. Read the masterwork “A Stroll on Sunday” that’s what I want for poor Erik). There’s nothing wrong with thinking the canonical breeding pair are well-suited; however the fixation on them and vilification of the interloping monster is perhaps missing the point of the entire text.

I’m so sorry Tumblr, thinking Mina should be with her Good Christian Husband Jonathan is not a life-altering take. Tumblr has subverted too close to the sun and started reinforcing Victorian values. We/Tumblr should be studied in a lab I stg. The brain gymnastics involved in this one is too insane.

And now we’re seeing this bleed into the Nosferatu discussion. I really liked and agreed with a lot of what Princess said in her video about Nosferatu & the Gothic Appetite:

But to bring this shipping focus to Nosferatu, is even more insane. Eggers' Nosferatu is far more focused on Ellen’s connection to Orlok than Dracula/Mina in the original Dracula text. I really liked what Eggers' said in this interview:

“In the novel, Stoker’s Dracula is seemingly moving to London, to England, for world domination. And, but this is all a demon-lover story. Ya know, Orlok is going to Wisborg for Ellen and no other reason. And that, that’s more interesting to me as a storyteller”

Nosferatu is different to Dracula in that it strips the vampire-hunting gang out of the text. It takes a lot of the unnecessary excess of the text and pairs it down to a fairy tale. One town, cut down the plot, remove excess characters, keep it simple. For me, I feel the result is way more focused than the original plot (and the Coppola movie).

Instead of Quincy, Seward and Arthur you just have Friederich. And Friederich is not a valiant hero like our noble trio. Instead of friendship and brother’s in arms saving the day, Friederich abandons Ellen and Thomas and succumbs to the monster. There is so much more darkness and despair in Ellen’s story because of this change. 

Those changes centralize the relationship between Ellen and Orlok in a way Dracula never did. It also does it in a less shit way then the Coppola film with its terrible reincarnation storyline.  

With Ellen and Orlok central, the Ellen/Thomas argument makes even less sense. Ellen cares about Thomas of course, she doesn’t want any harm to come to him.

But she also says to him “You could never please me as he could”. 

Thomas symbolises the status quo - a husband who leaves you to go to work, to ignore your strangeness and potentially also flatten it. Ellen says “It all ended when I first met my Thomas”. She grew up abnormal, supernatural and sexual - she alienated her father and family, and had a connection to a supernatural ancient demon during her teenage years. But the presence of Thomas removed that.

Some may see that as a saving grace - symbolising Thomas’ love as healing and protecting Ellen from the forces of darkness. That is a fairly simple, Christian reading - the healing love of matrimony and gender norms. However, you can also see this as a squashing of her powers and uniqueness. As Von Franz says:

“In heathen times you might have been a Great Priestess of Isis. Yet, in this strange and modern world your purpose is of greater worth.”

He does not view Ellen’s powers as an affliction but as matter-of-fact and part of who she is. He reframes those powers as something different - not a curse or possession. He compares her to the respected priestesses of an old world. 

Ellen chafes against the role of the good, noble wife. She does not want to be an angel in the house, and she does not want to be left at home while Thomas works. She clearly enjoys the honeymoon part of the marriage. The first scene we have between them Thomas gets ready to leave for work, leaving Ellen in bed crying: “The honeymoon was yet too short!”

It’s a Romeo and Juliet style scene - Thomas trying to leave the bedchamber as he must, and Ellen trying to convince him to stay and enjoy their married life. Thomas, like Romeo, does not realise the horrors that await him.

When he returns and tells her he must go away on a business trip, her reaction is less romantic and more frantic: she throws down the lilacs he bought her and eventually shrieks “Can’t you see that it doesn’t matter? If you leave nothing will matter!”

Throughout the movie Ellen fights Thomas leaving with everything she has. She has premonitions, she knows nothing good will come of his trip. She does not want to be a little wife and does not want to be left behind in domesticity. 

(this is in contrast to Anna and Friederich, who are blissfully happy in a traditional marriage. He talks of his sexual appetite, she produces babies for him. He runs a shipping business, she stays at home with their children. He is brash, masculine and doesn’t listen. She is sweetness and light, hosts their guests and never causes trouble. And they both die. Their goodness, their adherence to Christian values does not save them)

Ellen however plays the part of the hysterical woman. She does not remain quiet, she does not remain sweetness and light. She has fits, she is hypersexual, she speaks her mind and speaks about death.

If you watch Nosferatu and think Ellen would be happy as Thomas’ little wife at any point, I think you have missed the point. Thomas’ personality or qualities are besides the point - he is part of patriarchy, part of status-quo living, part of her subjugation and squashing her into a role she could never fit into. She says as much when he returns and they have their infamous fight by the fire:

“Well, where is it? Your money? Your promotion? Your house? Where is that which is so precious to you? Have you paid back kind Harding your debt? Have you repaid him with this plague that infects his wife?”

She is furious that she warned him not to leave her, that he did and the bad thing happened. That he seemingly sacrificed their love for a sack of gold. Women, in parts of culture and history, blocked from seeking work and income of their own, were therefore subjected to their spouses ambition and therefore neglect. If she was happy with having less materially, and more in her marriage, that was not a decision for her to make. Her husband made it, and the consequence was being left to her loneliness with an increasing brood of children to take care of.

Ellen does not want this. She spends the entire movie telling Thomas this. And at no point does he get it.

I think this is why it's so important that Orlok says:

“It is not me. It is your own nature… Love is inferior to you. I told you, you are not of Human kind… I am an appetite, nothing more”

Orlok is a symbol of all of Ellen that is not able to be seen, heard or appreciated in her world. She has an appetite of her own, love is inferior to power and control. In her marriage, unlike Anna’s, she is the one with the sexual appetite. She wants, she asks and calls. 

There is no future of Ellen and Thomas happily together. There is only death - either the way that played out in the film, or Orlok killing Thomas. But if Ellen and Thomas somehow defeated Orlok with both surviving, like Mina and Jonathan, I doubt they’d happily go on to have a child and name him Friederich. Ellen would leave, one way or another.

Ellen is a woman trapped in a society that does not want her, or at least wants to cut her down, contort her to the right size and shape. Reduce her expression, shut her up and leave her at home while the real men do the real work, including hunting vampires.

And this is why I find Stoker’s ending to Dracula so fucking frustrating. Mina is kept outside of the plans (for good reason - she has a channel to Dracula’s thoughts and worries he can see what she sees, but this is created by the author and so I get to critique it) and bears witness to the destruction of Dracula. While I don’t need a girlboss in every story, Mina is somewhat side-lined in this process and I don’t love it. She follows this by becoming the normal and good house wife to Jonathan and producing some progeny to name after their slain heroes.

(sidebar I think it would be more meaningful if Mina had a daughter and named her Lucy, the name of her dearest friend who was horrifically killed but don’t mind me)

Ellen is very different from Mina here. Her connection to Orlok is not the reason to keep her distance - it’s the reason she must get closer than anyone else. She takes control, speaking to Von Franz and getting what information she must to help her plan Orlok’s destruction.

Like many people, I see the final scene as both a sacred bond (a matrimony) and a heroic sacrifice. It can be both. Ellen can both know what she needs to do to save her love and the innocents around her (kill Orlok), she also knows she is the reason for their suffering (girl clean up your mess!) and knows that luckily, this is also what her dark heart has longed for.

It’s not often the thing you must do is also the thing you desperately, secretly want.

Ellen knows there’s no life after this. There’s no world where she becomes the happy mother and wife Mina Harker. There is only darkness and despair.

Eggers Nosferatu is a fairy tale that warns about the prospect for unusual, modern, sexual women. I read the ending of Dracula, of Jonathan saying “My wife is so happy now” and I think of Betty Draper shooting pigeons in the backyard. You’re telling me that educated, brilliant Mina Harker is happy being relegated to the home? There will always be something that rubs me the wrong way about Mina’s ending in Dracula, and the way the fandom has decided to blindly celebrate it. Ellen is an amazing antidote to that feeling.

Nosferatu is brilliant because it is honest about women and their status in this world. It allows room for Ellen and her own foibles. And it allows the darkness and the monstrous to coexist with the feminine. The ending is not a girlboss ending, it does not leave me feeling warm and fuzzy. It makes me uncomfortable - it is a gothic horror. The status quo is not maintained at the end of the movie - Orlok has disrupted their world, and it cannot be undone.

Ellen and Thomas are not a love story, and to pretend they are is to take the piss out of the entire thing.

[not-xpr-art]

Curled tight as a question mark...

(01/2025)

Ok so I've been super obsessed with the AMAZING Trolley Problem AU fics by @silverview & @unreesonable (where Drew is the 22 year old Blake abuses instead of Ellie) for literally ages so it was only a matter of time before I'd end up doing some art based on it pfft...

Links to the fics below btw (also gonna ramble about this piece a bit since, as usual, I put way too much thought into it pfft)!!!

a better son / daughter

special arrangements

and all I'll do is kiss him (btw title of this piece actually taken from a line in this one which I really loved!!!)

spaces between

Highly recommend all of them btw, they're so GOOD!!!!!

~~~

Ok, so I immediately wanted to do a sorta twisted version of Klimt's 'The Kiss' but the concept kinda got away from me as I was painting it... Plus I couldn't get the vibrant gold colour to work with the general colouring of the figures so the background became like vaguely vaginal curtains that I could probably spin some kinda symbolic link to Drew's mother if I wanted to lol...

(think I made a joke on bsky that I'm in my Georgia O'Keeffe era and NO one laughed smhsmh...)

I've also been wanting to do something based on the iconic The Fallen Angel painting by Alexandre Cabanel but never really had a particular subject in mind... until NOW! (ofc the emotion is different but idk I think the reference still works... Drew's tears are more desperate, hopeless, resigned, and perhaps less angry than Lucifer's?)

I wanted the piece to feel like Drew is trapped. Trapped by his turbulent relationship with his mother and father, trapped by his status and position in life, trapped by his sexuality, trapped by the drugs... And ultimately trapped by Blake, who was supposed to offer him a paternal embrace, a comforting hand on his shoulder, to properly help guide him out of the hole he's stuck in but all he did was take advantage of his vulnerability and drag him further into that pit...

Also, kinda funny story, but I tried doing a cute romantic in9 art before I started this but my brain and hand were having none of it lol... NO adorable yaoi for you manipulative toxic yaoi ONLY !!!!!!!

Stylistically I wanted to try and make this look sorta traditionally painted, which involved me using a combo of my regular program alongside ms paint since I like the texture of some of the brushes on there tbh (plus those brushes are really great for painting body hair which I had so much fun drawing a lot of here lol)! Overlaid with a vaguely canvas-y texture lol

Oh, and also I put the diamond pattern of the jumper Drew wears in the episode on his underwear here both because it was going to get covered if I put it on his t-shirt and because it's sorta a fun way to reflect how this is an AU lol

Also have some close ups since tumblr has completely destroyed the quality of this lol:

(final close up is actually of a version of the painting without the texture overlay btw which is why the colours are slightly different, but I thought it might be interesting to share so u can see the brushwork texture a little better??)

uh anyway... that's all folks lol!

[redwidow616]

Okay Clancy Tour Essay!!!!!!!

Tagging some people who might want to read it (no pressure ofc): @pardonmydelays @wagingmywarsbehindmyface @xproskeith @thepaladinstrait @noproof-youjustknow @endofanera-startofanage @anixknowsnothin

So I bought the ticket for this tour I think last August after I became obsessed with tøp when clancy came out and poppy posted so much about them that it was basically impossible to not start listening to them and I'm so so happy I did because i love them so much and the concert was so amazing and just andbdjdjebdkebddkdnssk

I went to the tour alone because i don't have any irl friends that are really interested in music except for one and our tastes are very different so yeah 😔 but it was still a lot of fun, as you'll read here!!

I arrived to the arena around 7 pm and was inside pretty fast and still had time before balu brigada would start so i went to the merch stand and got a t-shirt

Then I went to go find my seat and because i got my ticket pretty late i was on the very far left in the stands and couldn't really see the screens very well but i could see the stage better than i thought i would except for sometimes in between they had some lights or speakers or smthn that were lowered sometimes, obstructing my view of tylers side of the stage, but it was fine, that only happened like twice.

Then Balu Brigada came on and they played a few songs. I've never listened to them before but it was good, I enjoyed it even tho I never heard any of their songs before. After they were done a curtain was lowered in front of the stage but not on the sides so i could still see what was going on muhahahaha. So i could watch the crew check the equipment etc.

And then it happened. I was totally unprepared and freaked out because i never watched any livestreams so the "what's your eta" caught me completely off guard but i was able to recover fast enough to scream "TWO MINUTES" and that alone already made me even more excited and I'm actually getting fidgety right now, only thinking about it.

And then finally overcompensate started playing and i screamed WELCOME BACK TO TRENCH with everyone else and josh started playing and tyler jumped on the stage (i couldn't really see this because of the speakers but i kinda saw it on the screen) and I'm still screaming inside right now, it was so insane!!!!!!! Next was of course holding on to you with joshs backflip (i have video of it, i love it so much!!!!!) and cat!tyler and him jumping around and just djsksjskzlxnssisjKkzjz okay I'm trying to be normal (lmao a normal person would NOT write an essay on tumblr about a concert red, what are you saying??) Anyway then the transition to Vignette it is soooooo good, with neal banging out the tunes 😂 (i also have a video of this. Am i watching all my videos again while writing this? Yes, yes I am) then was car radio, which honestly almost made me cry (i can hear my voice almost breaking in, you guessed it, the video i took) and it makes me emotional again right now, it is such a great song and makes me scream and cry and be unwell but also so so happy that i got to experience it live!!!!!!!! And then the thing happend that i was totally unprepared for, even though I've seen people talk about it on here and seen pictures and everything, and the people who are also tøp fans reading this will probably definitely know this but i freaked out so much!! So during car radio when tyler(?) jumps into the stage he then appears in the stands!!!! And he was literally just a stand over from mine!!!!!!

Dixnsksjenekdlsmnejdjx he was so close!!!!!!! (The picture is zoomed in but still i did NOT think i would get to be even this close to him) and then he took his mask off and continued singing!!!!!!!

Tyler then of course went back on stage during the video of clikkies singing the judge and I could only see parts of it so i didn't know what it was at first and was like omgomgomgwhatshappening???? they put the lines of the letter from hamburg over the video!!!!!!! I don't know if they always do this, i have never seen it mentioned before so it was just a shock when i saw words on there. Then tyler was back on stage and singing, during this song but also before especially during holding on to you and overcompensate, you could see the alien symbol on joshs drum podium really well cus it was glowing. It of course went into the mashup with cut my lip but what confused me was that the spotlights were in sai colours during these songs, what does that mean????? During this song tyler also went up to josh and idk what they were doing probably being silly, i couldn't really see, but i still screamed and cheered.

Anyway next was the craving, it was so sweet, i love how intimate it felt and the transition to tear in my heart was amazing, it was so fun and also so sweet

When backslide started and tyler sat on his chair all i could think about was how poppy will freak out when she sees this (I'm sure you did, and you're absolutely right 😂) then it was shy away time!!!!!! I love shy away, i love sai i love the shy away coat (wear it again tyler!!!!!!!!!!) I had so much fun during this song, i think there should be so much more sai on this setlist and the setlist of every other tour they will ever do (cough the whole album cough)

Afterwards came heathens, which i also loved so much, i loved this song before i even knew about tøp and it was amazing to see and hear it live, i have an almost full video of it, it was so so so great and then the transition to next semester was so beautiful!!!!!!!! Next semester was so cool as well and then tylers vocals during the routines outro were sooooooo good omg i just watched my video again and it is insane!!

After this came the song that made me the most emotional of all of them: the line. I don't know why, maybe it's because it's the first song release when i was in the fandom but the performance was so beautiful, i cried and tylers voice omg!!!!!!!!! And obviously the scream was insane, i made a full video of this whole song, because i knew i would love it so much and i was right, it was amazing and I'm so happy that i experienced it live oh and when it started someone screamed so loud in surprise, it made me even more excited. Mulberry street was also really good, i think we did very well with the lights and it was so much fun and i will keep the little heart we should put over our phone flashlights for ever and ever (tyler put more sai on the setlist!!!!!!!!)

Then josh torchbearer came and gave tyler clancy his jacket and it was so cooooool!!!!!!!!! The music that was playing in the background, the torch, just everything and the reveal of dema burning (i have such a cool picture of that) and then navigating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to take a full video of this but my phone did something so i hat to restart 😭 but luckily i have the bridge and everything after that and it was such an amazing experience, i love navigating so much i can't get over the fact that i saw it live!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was screaming along so loud it was so great aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then it went on with the lore songs, natn (honestly don't have a lot of memories of this, but the ones i do are amazing), hds which was also so so great and i again screamed my lungs out through it and it was so cute how tyler jumped around. what surprised me was that even tho i was so high up i could still feel the heat from the fire, and tylers scream ofc i will forever have it stuck in my head. The next song made me very emotional again, it was my blood and i love this song so much, it was the first song i watched the video to apart from the lore videos so that's probably why, i almost cried again during this song and AGAIN i screamed the lyrics so loud

After this came guns for hands!!!!!!!! Another song i love so so much, honestly probably one of my faves from vessel, so i made a full video again 🤗 and, at the risk of maybe possibly repeating myself, i literally don't know how my voice still works with how much i screamed (well i did have sore throat yesterday sooo.....), the transition to lavish was amazing, they were so silly, the wedding was so cute, i love them so much!!!!!!! And then the transition to ride!!!! And the child they brought on stage to sing with tyler was so adorable and so confident (idk if i would've been like that if i was singing in front of tens of thousands of people at that age)

And then paladin strait 😭 i am tearing up again writing this, i don't even know how to describe it, it was just perfect, tyler sitting there at first playing and singing, then josh switching to the small drum set and them singing together 😭😭😭😭😭😭 (josh please sing more, please please please) and then josh going over to the drum island and the first outro before the birds and stuff, i will never get over this and the last part in the dark omg it was so so amazing and the transition to jumpsuit!!!!!!!!!!! Sadly i have no pictures or videos of jumpsuit bc my phone battery was already very low but it was great, the coat!! It's not the shy away coat but still i love this one too!!!!!!! And the performance in general! And midwest indigo was also just sbdndkddkdkkssnnd but of the last few songs the one i loved most, apart from trees of course, was stressed out, because as i was standing there in this arena with so many people i remembered again the first time i ever heard it when i was probably 9 years old and we sang it in music class and i remember that to this day and i wondered if any other children who were in that class with me were also there that night, also remembering that (probably not tho), i remember even back then that i did really like that song and i memorised the lyrics there and years later i heard it one time and still knew them and now that im a fan i still know them!! (and finally know what the song means lol) if i would've been a child with an interest in music i probably would've started listening to tøp then or a little later but i literally didn't listen to music of my own volition until i was 14 so i didn't. Anyway kind of drifted away from the topic, the stressed out performance was so cool, josh sang so beautifully again and i want to hear it over and over.

Now we're at the end 🥲, trees. It was a religious experience i don't know how else to describe it, i can't believe i was there. I cried yesterday when i rewatched all my videos and came to this one and i cried now when i watched it again. I don't think there's any clikkie who doesn't love this song and i am no exception, i can't think of anything else to say than that it was one of the best experiences of my life and I'll think about it forever ♥️

Okay that was it, my essay about my experience at the clancy world tour. In conclusion it was amazing i loved it so much, i hope one day i can go to one of their tours with friends, ones i find or the ones that got me to go there (poppy and bel) and i still can't believe i was there, I'm going insane right now, i want to see them again, it's only good that classes start next week otherwise i would probably just sit in my room watching my videos over and over again, so yeah. If you have the chance to go to this tour (tho i don't think there are any tickets left for anywhere) definitely do it and in general check out tøp's music, because they are the greatest band ever!

If you've come this far and finished reading my essay, sorry it's so long i just really wanted to mention every song and write about everything i could remember, bye now ♥️

[badgalsasuke]

kinda wanna have a long rant here cause it feels cathartic so i hope you don't mind. ignore this if you feel annoyed. may be a bit controversial.

i think twitter sns are mainly vain and shallow. tiktok sns barely read the manga. tumblr sns have all the smart meta blogs but there are also a lot of the edgy wannabe communists who annoyed me too much sometimes especially since naruto (the character) is my og fave all the way since i was a kid so i take offense in the way he's constantly bashed around these circles. like yes i get it he grow up to be a bootlicker he's a neoliberal all of this is bad etc etc and all of the criticism of these are warranted but sometimes its just too much that idgaf sorry.

before the fake wokes get all fired up i'm literally from a SEA country that was colonized by japan and my country had a history of violent persecution where over 1 million of its revolutionary left party members were hunted down, imprisoned, and killed. i myself used to be active in researches concerning preserving history of these but anyways. the point is i know these things are serious but at the end of the day naruto is fiction? sure it'd be great if there was a proper politically correct resolution for all the bad things that happen in the show, centering justice and retribution etc etc but at the end of the day the story kishi wants to tell is not that. he's a liberal pacifist and assimilationist whose core value in his manga are all about peace forgiveness cooperation etc etc. naruto's character is deeply intertwined with this since he's the MC and supposed to be the voice of reason so i can see why some people might get fed up what with his constant preaching in his talk no jutsus and all. i personally liked him because of his personal ability to empathize and make bonds in spite of his loneliness but anyways thats also beside the point.

i just think that these fans who are super pissed that things didn't go the way they want should find other media that centers more on those justice themes they like so much, like idk, maybe death note or aot. i don't read any other manga.

most of these stans always being negative and complaining every damn day about everything, insulting everything about the media they claim to hate yet STILL having a fan account dedicated to it where they just hate on it all the time is so 💀💀. like, i consider myself a leftist as well and when i want to enjoy a good communist media I'd watch soviet films from the 60s and not obsessively latching on to a shounen manga written by a liberal and then gets pissed when the author doesn't share the same values as me.

i became obsessed with naruto because the writing of the batshit insane deranged toxic doomed homoerotic twin-flame-like relation was GOOD between sns and that's what i'm here for. but i think the polemic and polarization of this massive fandom is just too much for me. i don't know how you deal with it being in this fandom for so long. I've only peeked around for about a month and i'm already fed up. i used to not really interact with popular mainstream media exactly for this reason. no matter how i see it it's true that many of the Sasuke/Uchiha centric sns fans in here does lowkey hate naruto and are mutuals with naruto antis and it just gave me the final kick to not want to interact much with all of these crowd sorry. the ship still 10/10 and will always be top tier tho.

Hey anon!

I really have nothing to add other than I don’t like Twitter and TikTok SNS fandoms either LMAOO

[silverwhittlingknife]

hi anon <333 okay so uhhhh listen when i got this ask which i think was... a month ago? a couple months ago? i did not have a dick & tim reading guide

BUT i read this ask and i thought WOW WHAT A GOOD IDEA, a dick & tim reading guide, i wish i'd had one of those when i started reading!! and also i had a lot of work that i didn't want to do so i needed a project to procrastinate on dsfdsfs

so i have been working on a reading guide spreadsheet and it is ALMOST DONE so i will post it soon-ish. <3 if anyone wants to check out the unfinished version and tell me if it's readable dm me <3

also below i have rambled a lot about the makings of the spreadsheet if you also like spreadsheets a lot

this is only sort of tangentially related to the reading guide but it is the SECRET ORIGIN of the reading guide. i think many comic fans eventually end up with a spreadsheet story because comics are bonkers and difficult to keep track of, so either you sensibly engage with your hobby in a reasonable fashion or you slowly go bonkers yourself and end up with a spreadsheet story. this one is mine.

so a year or two ago, when i got first got deeply deeply obsessed with dick & tim, i was desperate for content and i wasn't able to find much on tumblr

so out of a combination of deep affection for the boys and also an extremely strong desire to procrastinate the things i was supposed to be doing, i went through dc.fandom's list of dick's appearances and of tim's appearances.

and i cross-referenced them all to find the comics they both appeared in, and then i started kinda randomly reading through those comics looking for good art/panels that they both appeared in and taking notes on whether they appeared in the same panel or not:

and then as i became even more obsessive i started adding in a bunch of their solo appearances so i'd know the context of their team-ups, and i started color-coding blue-for-nightwing, red-for-robin, purple-for-both-of-them:

and then i started trying to make lists of Significant Events so that i'd know e.g. when characters died or got married or broke up:

and then i got tired of having to search for dc.fandom pages every time i wanted to check something in a comic, so i started adding links to dc.fandom and to dc universe:

and then i thought, you know, it'd be nice to have comic titles and to know if it's part of an ongoing story:

and sometimes when i was reading, i started taking notes on quotes or whatever was going on:

and that's about when i got this ask, and i thought, you know, i really should make a reading guide.

and i started thinking, okay, is there any way to take my spreadsheet and make it slightly less convoluted and a bit more like a reading guide?

and the answer was, probably not!!! but that did not stop me from trying sdfdsfds

so right now i have a spreadsheet called "Dick & Tim Reading List" and it's got a section that looks like this which has about 200 recommended-read comics:

but ALSO there's a tab that's really really long that has all of dick's solo comics and also all of tim's solo comics (from 1987-2011, not of all time, but still):

and also you can just get a list of all (post-crisis) comics dick&tim have appeared in together:

and also as i was working on this i discovered FILTER VIEWS and simultaneously got curious about all the quotes in grayson 12, which taunted me with the possibility of getting post-crisis continuity back before not giving it to me >:(((((( but anyway they're still good quotes so i made a list of all of them

anyway then i looked at all of that and thought ehhhhh okay but that's very complicated!! maybe i need some shorter reading recommendations. so then i started making a list of those:

basically you should picture the spreadsheet journey like this puppy:

anyway i'm still kinda distracted but i do intend to clean it up a bit more and then post a link, so that will happen soon-ish hopefully <3

[leslutdepointedulac]

*crashes through your door like big bird*

🗿 give us the rundown on how you got here! which was the first vc book you ever read? what made you decide to seek out vc fandom on tumblr?

Okay, buckle up ya'll because this is a decently long story.

So I would argue it actually started waaaayy back when I was a wee child, say about 6-7ish maybe. I would see the IWTV film on TV all the time and me being obsessed with vampires, I really wanted to watch it. Idk how I knew but somehow I had the knowledge that it was a very famous vampire story with queer characters and that it was supposed to be really good, so naturally I was like "I wanna watch that!" But my parents wouldn't let me because it's an 18 and I was a child (not that this stopped me fr begging them though lmao). This happened several times throughout my childhood and each time my parents would be like "No you're too young, you can watch it when you're older."

Skip to when I was around 15 I think, and I had this friend in school whose house I went to quite often. I was round for a sleepover one time and they told me there was this film with a banging soundtrack they wanted to show me. That film was QOTD. We watched it and I thought it was pretty decent (fyi I can't stand that film now, but the soundtrack still slaps. And Akasha! Aaliyah absolutely killed it!). When I went home the next day I told my parents what I had done at my friend's house, and that we had watched QOTD and they were like "Oh, the sequal to IWTV". Now bear in mind, I'd forgotten all about IWTV by this point and then it all came back to me and I was like "Omg no way!"

However, I still didn't watch IWTV and I forgot about it all over again. Until 2 years ago. I for the life of me cannot remember how or why I suddenly remembered it at the time, but I was chilling in bed and it came to me. So I found IWTV and watched it for the first time in my life (I was 19 at this point) and lemme tell you. It was worth waiting 19 years of my life. I loved it and thought how it was insane I'd only just now seen it, but better late than never.

Then I forgot about it again lmao. Until the 3rd November 2022. I remembered (again, idk how or why) that I had heard about an IWTV TV show so I found it and watched it and I thought "huh, that was pretty good. I like this!" And so I became obsessed.

Then I decided I wanted to read the books so in December of 2022 I bought IWTV, TVL and QOTD (it's all three in one book) and I started reading the series from the very beginning. I got even more obsessed and kept buying the series until I had them all and read through the whole thing.

In February on 2023 I joined tumblr for the VC fandom, because I had seen VCblr posts on Pinterest and thought it looked fun, so naturally I joined in.

And that more or less takes us up to now really lol. I'm still here and even more obsessed than ever. My obsession is primarily on the books since I read them. I kinda moved from the show to the books but I still have a deep appreciation for the show because that's what brought me here to the fandom in the first place. (And I still love the film too.)

I also recently, in the past couple of months, made friends with a group of people here in the fandom and I'm so glad to know them and be friends with them (including you, of course @hekateinhell 💖). I've been in many fandoms before this one, but this is the first one I've been so active in and the first one I've made friends in. I love ya'll, and I love talking to you all 🥰💕💕

Anyway, it's a long story as to how I got here 😅 It's like these vampires have always been in my life in one way or another.

Sorry this was such a ramble but yeah. There's practically my whole VC life story 😂

[zombiefishmonster]

My Personal Kickin' It Headcanons

- yes another kickin' it post. i'm making as many as my heart desires. enjoy.

- Rudy Gillespie

+ big anime phase in highschool, specifically dragon ball z and naruto

+ had a HUUGE crush on bobby wasabi in grade school. his dad showed him his first movie, and he was obsessed. he doesn't feel romantically towards him now at all but he still holds him in a higher regard.

+ trans rudy bisexual rudy.

+ ty, lonnie and him have "guys nights", they sometimes invite bobby and phil but only sometimes.

+ the reason why he became a sensei and cares so deeply for his students is because his parents were neglectful, so he's determined to be there for any other kids who need it.

+ he definitely goes to all their weddings/events

+ i'd like to think he and ms. applebottom stay together.

- Jack Brewer

+ definitely had a crush on jerry at a point

+ he really likes percy jackson (this is me projecting)

+ the only social media he has is instagram, and it's just because everyone made him get it.

+ we know about his haircare, but i think he'd also take incredible care of his skin. he's also very naturally tidy, despite having his less than classy moments

+ divorced parents, but they really try despite having busy jobs

+ his grandpa mostly took care of him growing up

+ he got his first tattoo at 18, he got it for his grandpa

+ bisexual jack.

- Kim Crawford

+ the most Normal home life

+ i can't decide if she's pansexual or straight.

+ has mostly guy cousins

+ she's such a lowkey nerd. but like in the way she doesn't realize she's nerdy. she's really interested in the history of martial arts

+ she stayed in contact with sloane, and they moved in together, with jack, after high school

+ her room is a clothes MESS.

+ even though her parents are normal, most of her cousins and extended family are batshit

+ i also think she draws, mostly just sketches of things around seaford

+ even though she can't dance for shit, she can sing (this is kinda canon)

- Eddie Jones

+ repressed queer

+ he left seaford because his mom got a better job offer

+ unfortunately, this made him fall out of karate but he got way more into dancing

+ he has REALLY nice handwriting

+ he has an older sister, like 10 years older, but they're still really close

+ literally LOVES tv dramas. he really likes greys anatomy

+ his mom has a cat that she got a few years after he was born

+ he tries to keep house plants alive, but it always ends up dying

+ he keeps in contact with milton and jerry a little

- Jerry Martinez

+ he's a big frequenter of the hospital

+ he had a crush on jack at a separate time

+ he and milton move in together after highschool, that's when they start dating

+ takes milton to dancing lessons/teaches him himself

+ started dancing wayyy before karate, only started karate in middle school

+ he has dyslexia

+ like eddie, he's close with his sisters (wiki says he has 7 unnamed sisters; i think 3 younger, 4 older, making him pretty much middle)

+ he's not "good" at painting, but he enjoys it

+ he has a strong appreciation for country music

+ eddie got him in to greys anatomy, they text each other on episode release days

- milton krupnik

+ the MOST online of them all, he definitely had a tumblr

+ surprisingly, he made the first move on jerry

+ despite the fiasco in "the commercial," he continued baking and actually got wayyy better

+ he's got a single dad, who does really try but he struggles a lot

+ probably the most mentally unstable. i can't explain it but it's his vibes. (im projecting)

+ he got more into hair and makeup as he got older

+ after julie, he realized he was gay and likes jerry

+ he had a warrior cats phase

+ he helped the rest of them study for all their finals, and he doesn't like to brag, but it's DEFINITELY the only reason why they passed

+ he spends the most time at the dojo, his dad works a lot, so it's just easier for him to stay at the dojo and help out with different classes / help around the mall

+ huge huge HUUUGE HUGE. enjoyer of the ocean. i can't explain it but it's true.

[noelwho]

Ultimate Chronological Order Imodna Playlist!!!

Hello! I feel like I have to introduce myself ‘cause I’m barely on Tumblr. I’m still learning how to use it, I posted a couple of fanarts and they went really well, so I want to try and make myself a spot in here. My name is Noel (they/them) and I’m a big fan of Critical Role. I started watching a few months ago, with Exandria Unlimited. Once I was done I went ahead and started Campaign 3. I’m currently on episode 49 (I know, I have a lot ahead yet). I also watched the first season of Candela Obscura and a couple of One-Shots.

Today I’m here to talk about the Lesbian Southern Gothic Witches. Earlier this week I started to obsess over a playlist. An Imodna playlist, to be more specific. It started with me listening to one I found on spotify (I will credit below because it’s been a huge inspiration for this project) and I got the urge to make my own. At the beginning it was something chill, something normal…until it was not. Over the course of the last 3 days I haven’t thought about or listened to anything else. I got the idea of making the playlist in chronological order and I started to take it very seriously. I divided their history in 10 different chapters and assigned each song to the correct time period. At first it was just gonna be into chapters, but then I started to put them in order inside the chapters too, and it became very personal. For real, this playlist has been the one and only thing I wanted to talk about for days. Last night I finally finished it. I’ve played it for run tests several times and I think it’s finally ready to see the light (kinda feels like the project of my life even though I only spent a few days working on it).

After all this brainrot it didn’t feel right to just tweet a link to the playlist, I wanted the world to know everything that went through my head in the process of making this. I also don’t have many people around who care about Critical Role, and I thought it was a good opportunity to connect with the fandom. So all of this took me here, to tumblr. All of a sudden it became very clear that this was the perfect place to set my baby free.

There’s some things I wanna make clear before you start reading, the first being the classic: english is not my first language. Sounds like a joke at this point but for real, it’s very likely that this thing is full of grammatical mistakes and I want to apologize in advance (specially about the in/on/at situation, I’ve been having lots of trouble with those for some reason) This is also the first time I do something like this so it may not be perfect. The second thing is that this will obviously be filled with spoilers. In fact I actually haven’t even got to The Scene, I saw it around on Tumblr and Twitter (impossible to avoid that spoiler, but I don’t really care). I’m aware that there’s a lot of Imodna moments that I haven’t seen yet, but I couldn't wait to start this playlist. I don’t know if the episodes I have left to watch will translate into new chapters or into new songs for the chapters I already have but either way, I will keep this post and the playlist updated.

With that being said, welcome to this ride through an unhinged mind. Fasten your seatbelts and enjoy!

The tether scene is one of my favorite ones. I love that metaphor with a passion. That’s why I chose this name for the playlist. With the photo I wanted to make an allusion to the red thread myth given that Laudna herself carries around a spool of red string. I even edited the picture so the hands on the right are slightly gray like Laudna’s.

There’s not just one specific vibe to this playlist, but I find it to be a very calming one, with the exception of some specific moments that we will talk about later. I tried to avoid strong and distracting beats so I could keep it a little ethereal. Lots of acoustic guitar (which I love). I’m not going to talk about every single song because some of them have pretty obvious meanings. Usually the songs aren't a 100% match, but they do have a part to it that speaks to me and to the story on a certain level.

× Imogen and Laudna’s separate lifes ×

At the beginning of the journey that is this playlist, I wanted to introduce the characters. Intertwining their songs, we get to know Imogen and Laudna’s pasts, before they have each other to face the terrors of being witches in a world that doesn’t quite understand them.

Delilah - Florence + The Machine (Laudna)

I sometimes wonder if Marisha has ever listened to this song, because oh my fucking god. I wanted to start the playlist with Abbey, I didn’t because with the intertwining I couldn’t make it fit, but this one is a very good start as well. This song shows perfectly how it must have been being brought back by Delilah and having that power all of a sudden.

Abbey - Mitski (Imogen)

Matilda - Harry Styles (Laudna)

Imogen - Nick Mulvey (Imogen)

Laudna's lullaby - Ginny Di (Laudna)

Time comes in roses - Bess Atwell (Imogen)

The Tradition - Halsey (Laudna)

Burn it down - Daughter (Imogen)

There’s several songs from this album on this playlist. It couldn’t fit better. It reflects perfectly the moment Imogen started to develop her powers. It even refers directly to the way she parts ways with her town (which doesn’t happen for a few chapters but still I felt this one belonged here). Her fear of being a disappointment, her father becoming absent, the feeling of being cursed. It’s all here.

The hanging tree - The hunger games (Laudna)

Still I wait - Anna Leone (Both)

Even with everything they had to go through, they both still wait and cling to hope.

× Imogen and Laudna meet ×

Finally, their paths cross. They experience the feeling of warmth for the first time in a long time. They both feel the need to keep the other one close and begin to appreciate the little things in life, learning how to be taken care of. Goodbye loneliness.

Season of the Witch - Lana Del Rey

I'd like to walk around in your mind - Vashti Bunyan

How important is this song knowing what Imogen can do…

Comfortable Silence - Bella Porter

Without you without them - Boygenius

A hole in the earth - Daughter

That Moon Song - Gregory Alan Isakov

Love brought weight - Old Sea Brigade

That distant shore - Steven Universe

Sick of losing soulmates - Natalie Dawn

I Hear a Symphony - Cody Fry

Sidelines - Phoebe Bridgers

The bug collector - Haley Heyderickx

Sometimes I feel that it’s always Laudna taking care of Imogen, as if she didn't have anything on her own plate. It can't be easy to live with a voice in your head and paranoia. This song shows how Imogen is there to hold Laudna too when it becomes too much.

Look up - Joy Oladokun

If the last one was an Imogen’s POV, this one is totally a Laudna’s POV. Her and her silly little pep talks. “You’re so capable”.

Daylight - Taylor Swift

I love the idea of them learning that life can be good if you find someone to share it with. This song encapsulates that perfectly.

Spell - Dora Jar

I wanted this one to be the last one of the chapter because it introduces the idea of leaving together.

× Imogen and Laudna run away together ×

“Would you run away with me?” They learn what it’s like to have a home that’s not a place, but something entirely new. The past still follows but they’re no longer crushed by it, because they don’t have to sustain it on their own.

Departure - Daughter

Second child, restless child - The Oh Hellos

Just the two of us - Grover Washington, Jr.

I really like to imagine Imodna slice of life scenes when I listen to this song.

Dandelion Wine - Gregory Alan Isakov

Homesick - Dwara, Khotton Palm

Graceland Too - Phoebe Bridgers

When I realized how much of a Laudna's POV this song is, I almost cried.

Telepath - Manchester Orchestra

I really really like Manchester Orchestra, it's one of my favorite bands. I never let go of the chance of spreading them around, and this one is the best song they have. Laudna's POV for sure.

everything i wanted - Billie Eilish

With songs like this one and Intertwined, I wanted to introduce the idea that even though they're definitely better off now that they left the town, that doesn't instantly solve all of their problems. As I said before, the past follows, but they're no longer alone with it.

Savior Complex - Phoebe Bridgers

Intertwined - Dodie

Nothing else matters - Phoebe Bridgers

As long as they're together, nothing else matters.

× You lied ×

Even though I only have a few songs for this precise moment of the story, I thought that it was very important to include their first fight. The gem is broken and Imogen feels betrayed. Laudna is left abandoned and thinks she deserves to be punished for Delilah’s wrongs. We explore jealousy for the first time.

Witches - Daughter

The silence at the end of this instrumental song represents the loneliness that Laudna felt when Imogen left her alone after her incident with Delilah

Landfill - Daughter

There are two possible ways of reading into this one. This is in my opinion a Laudna's POV. She could either be talking to Imogen, expressing her deep rooted desire for a punishment for what she’s done; or to Delilah, alluding to the attachment she has to her own powers (that at least as far as she knows are there because of Briarwood) opposed to the hatred she feels for her and for herself for wanting those powers (this is a theme that they explore later on future chapters)

Are you okay? - Winnetka Bowling League

Afterglow - Taylor Swift

The archer - Taylor Swift

× Laudna’s death ×

Otohan Thull relentlessly kills three members of Bells Hells. A coin is flipped and Laudna is gone, again. What awaits beyond the afterlife? Perhaps a little girl, a monster and a tree.

DVD menu - Phoebe Bridgers

If death’s not exactly DVD menu by Phoebe Bridgers, then someone tell me what’s like because I can’t imagine otherwise. I freaking love how this song connects with Daffodil.

Daffodil - Florence + The Machine

Death with dignity - Sufjan Stevens

Bells in Santa Fe - Halsey

I like to imagine that Laudna didn't appear in Nightmarish Whitestone immediately. Up until this point, she's in a limbo, accepting her own death. Bells in Santa Fe marks the moment she sets foot in that Upside-down kind of world. The constant repetition of “All of this is temporary” is like a mantra for her, the only hope she has of getting through it with her sanity intact is believing that this will also end and she will finally find peace.

Willow Tree March - The paper kiss

Hard times - Ethel Cain

Tether me - Galleaux

With this song and the next one, I wanted to express desperation. We don't get to know in the series how she feels throughout all of this, but I can only imagine how terrifying it must have been. There's a point where anyone would have started begging for help.

Matilda - alt-J

× Imogen’s grief ×

“Is she your favorite?”. Imogen feels deeply guilty for what happened. The possibility of bringing Laudna back is the only thing that’s keeping her from losing it completely. All the regrets, all the words she wishes she said before, all the times she didn’t approached her when she wanted to, come afloat. Grief, disassociation and sorrow.

Words - Storefront Church, Phoebe Bridgers

This song is meant to represent the exact moment of Imogen floating and losing control, with Otohan in her head pushing her to let go.

Goner - Twenty One Pilots

No other song in existence can express better the moment Imogen realize Laudna's gone for good.

Lanterns lit - Son Lux

True Faith - Ashley Johnson

Hurt for me - SYML

Carry you - Novo Amor

My love - Florence + The Machine

Lucky for you - Novo Amor, Gia Margaret

Killer + the sound - Phoebe Bridgers, Noah Gundersen

Should have known better - Sufjan Stevens

Ya'aburnee - Halsey

Show you a body - Haley Heyderickx

Imogen (even Laura) loses hope for a moment during the ritual they do for bringing Laudna back. The end of this song summarize this repeating a lyric over and over (you can clearly see through this playlist how much I love repetition).

× Back together ×

After Bells Hells confront Delilah at the Upside-down-Whitestone of Laudna’s nightmares, Pike manages to bring her back to life. Imogen and her are back hand by hand, and nothing can ever tear them apart again. Here’s where I think something awakes inside them, but they are far from realizing it.

I am the Antichrist to you - Kishi Bashi

Like an angel “fallen from the sky with grace”, Laudna’s back on Imogen’s arms.

Darling - Halsey

This love (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

Now that you're home - Manchester Orchestra

Lose you again - Manchester Orchestra

Halloween - Phoebe Bridgers

But not kiss - Fayer Webster

Like I said, something changes after this. What they’ve been through is not nothing. This song is here to show that something is born deep inside them, on their subconscious far from their reach yet

× Back to Gelvaan ×

Same as with the “You lied” chapter, I felt that this one was important even though I just have one song for it. It just matches perfectly. Imogen and Laudna visit Imogen’s hometown and the place where they met, searching for answers. Old wounds, some closure and an emotionally absent father.

My tears ricochet - Taylor Swift

× Tethered ×

In this chapter the platonic bond is peaking. It takes place right before The Unraveling, giving in to the “Can I kiss you?” phase and becoming romantic. They’ve been through hell and back just to stay together. This is my personal favorite bit of the playlist, everything is extremely intense but not yet explicit.

Tethered - Sleeping at last

I Will - Mitski

Anchor - Alli X

Don't let them see you cry - Manchester Orchestra

Crosses - José González

Quietly - Manchester Orchestra

Francesca - Hozier

Moon song - Phoebe Bridgers

Capital Karma - Manchester Orchestra

Everywhere, everything - Noah Kahan

In a week - Hozier

Monster - King Princess

j's lullaby (darlin' i'd wait for you) - Delaney Bailey

I will follow you into the dark - Miya Folick

I wouldn't ask you - Clairo

× Can I kiss you? ×

Finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The beggining of something new, the next and most logical step of this journey. The platonic becomes romantic and they get to truly explore the feelings they always had, and some novel ones. This is the moment I know less about, but I’ve used my imagination and my own headcanons.

Can I - Genevieve Stokes

I debated a lot whether to put this one at the end of the last chapter or the beginning of this one because I don't know how relevant Laudna's death is up to this point, and there's a huge reference to this in this song. I know for a fact that the Delilah’s plot is not over and things will change, but I couldn't resist the urge to put it in here, given the name of the song and its obvious connection to the chapter.

We'll never have sex - Leith Ross

Wading in Waist-high Water - Fleet Foxes

This is the last time - The National

All my ghosts - Lizzy McAlpine

Prière pour la nuit - Barbara Pravi, November Ultra

Chewing Cotton Wool - The Japanese House

Bandages - Rachel Bobbitt

This is it, this is The Ultimate Chronological Order Imodna Playlist. I don't know if I'm the first one doing this, probably not, I don't know if this has any value to anyone beyond myself, but I had a hell of a lot of fun. If only one person were to read this till the end I would be more than satisfied.

I’ll link here the playlist that started all of this. Massive respect for this person whoever it is, I took lots of the songs from here

Infinite thanks to anyone who gets here or saves my playlist, feel free to respond with any song that you think adds to the story!! Something tells me this isn't the end of my Imodna brainrot so,,,, more things could be on their way (a fanfic, perhaps?).

No idea how to end this so… long live Lesbian Southern Gothic Witches!!!

[moonlit-dreamers]

*falls through the ceiling*

hey fuckers. im gonna talk about an au i havent talked about on tumblr yet bc iivvee been very focused on stl au lol (and i also just dont post often 💀) BUT! IM HERE!!

i came up with this au a while ago and i did kinda briefly mention it a while ago but that. doesnt fucking matter.

this is an au for the sun vanished! its a story on twitter that i became absolutely OBSESSED with (and still kinda am even after all this time). listened through the whole story from a ytuber nate at night. hes pretty good and i recommend you check him out

but a basic sum-up for ppl who may not know what the sun vanished is: one day the sun randomly vanished and never came back. it starts off with tsv (we dont know his real name) trying to reunite with danyon, his friend. we then also meet tucker and nat who are also trying to meet up. a lot of shit happens that i. honestly cant remember the proper order of. "dark water" is some kinda.. weird water that fucks with your body and mind. theres also "we the people" who is an organization that tries to "work with" the "invaders" by using dark water to make themselves invisible. later on tsv, tucker and nat join a group that is very much against wtp. that... should be all thats needed to know to partially understand this au >.>

so here we go! first up, nobody in this animatronics. with a lot of the events (especially with what happens to tsv) it wouldnt work the same if they were animatronics. so theyre mutants! bc i refuse to ever make them humans!

for who is who: sun is tsv with moon being danyon. while i will say that tsv and sun do differ a lot in personalities it just.. makes more sense with the situation. especially with sun being so desperate to meet up with moon despite all the red flags.

im constantly debating if tucker would be eclipse or solar. his behaviors is like a weird mixture of the two. more aggressive than solar but nicer than eclipse. but either way hes best friends with lunar (who is nat). he is.. very overprotective and lunar is frequently frustrated with his behaviors. while, yes, lunar is a kid (14 at the beginning), he still hates being treated like he cant do anything by himself. eclipse also despises moon and never trusted him in the first place. think he tried to kill him at one point tho i. cant remember >.> (its like 1am im half asleep cut me some slack)

jack would be theseus (previously known as half-crop). jack is a kid they (the other group) brought in and kept in captivity since they were unsure if he was infected or not. with the help of lunar being a persistent lil shit they managed to get proof that he was fully conscious (since he never talked). jack only has one functioning eye, the other eye seems to be... messed up in some way. but it isnt pretty. he mainly covers it with his hat (for his own comfort). hes semiverbal and selectively mute, only talking around lunar and maybe eclipse if hes lucky.

im thinking that wtp could be the creator council? or at least ran by a creator. maybe they somehow caused the sun to vanish and let the "invaders" in freely or maybe they want to study it and thats why theyre nonhostile (towards the invaders, that is. not to other ppl lol). that would also make it suck more since moon was converted/manipulated into joining them ;-; meanwhile the other group could be others from the plex, like roxy, chica, monty, freddy, etc. theyd be really minor characters (theres actually not many names mentioned anyway lol) so i havent thought about it much *shrug*

but i have. SO many thoughts about this au man. theres so many scenarios i imagine with them. like eclipse first finding lunar in his basement staring at the dead bodies of his parents (that he had to kill himself). sun drinking too much dark water and hallucinating that moon was with him and begging him to come back and that hes sorry. lunar finding a video sun took of him and eclipse dancing together. sun sending his last message to moon about how he hates him and that neither of them turned out to be the ppl they promised they would be then ending it by saying he loves moon and hopes he never sees the message.

idk man. kinda unwell over this

[icouldntfindquiet]

hi love! im pretty sure you already answered this in the past haha but i would love to know how you got into CATB and what were your favourite moments in the fandom until now 🥰<3

Hello! I discovered CATB back in 2015. The first one into work gets to choose the music and my coworker chose the Catfish and the Bottlemen station on Pandora. I was working and loving every song so I went to the computer to see who it was and it was CATB every time. I listened to The Balcony in its entirety and became a fan. When The Ride came out, I wasn’t feeling it as much as The Balcony but I was still a casual fan. And then when Longshot came out in Jan 2019, I got back into them and the rest is history. 😂

Oh gosh…I don’t remember what happened! I became obsessed kinda late so it was fun finding old interviews and videos and learning more about them. I also love the people I’ve met along the way too. CATB fans are the best, especially the ones on Tumblr, Instagram, and even Reddit back in 2019/2020. 🥰 My favorite moments are more personal things. I was surprised Bondy replied to my message and our conversation went to me sending him videos of a baby seagull growing up at work. Never in a million years did I think it’d go down that route. 😂 Also, the accidental like by the CATB account was mad! And even though it wasn’t the smartest move on my part, but Marty saying that CATB was coming back Summer 2024 was mad. Good, crazy times. 😂����

How about you? How did you get into CATB and what are your favorite moments?

Right?! I miss Eleven so much! I didn’t know we had it good. 😩 I just think having more women in his life would do him good, lol.

[lastofthe20thcenturygirls]

I will be ur new srk mutual 🫶 which one of his films should I watch first?

such a beautiful ask 🥺

if you're in the mood for a romance movie

1. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge: it's as old as me and still running in a theatre after all these years. it's literally that movie. the biggest reason he's called the king of romance and there wasn't even a kissing scene in this. hasn't aged. beautiful soundtrack. and the infamous mustard field

2. My Name is Khan: 14th feb 2010, 3pm show in a single screen theatre and i had the time of my life watching my first srk movie in "talkies". i was so happy i was gonna cry finally in a theatre and wept i did. he was so fucking good in this kajol's comeback directed by karan johar. lots of tears. and some more. 9/11 background but it's a love story still. he should have won the national award and that jury will end up in hell someday :)

3. Veer-Zaara: romeo and juliet's tragedy is nothing compared to veer-zaara's. the songs the music the acting the actors the director the writer everything was just so good. a lot of people don't know this but eye acting was actually invented by shah rukh khan

4. Dil to Pagal Hai: a musical about a musical the soundtrack slayyyyed then it slayyyys now. underrated on current tumblr but i think i am starting to prefer that because DTPH is mine. i never had a crush on shahrukh but if any character of his ever came close it was from this movie. one of his sexiest characters imo. did i mention the songs were way too good.

5. Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham: shahrukh really cries like children do. who knew weeping can have range. great songs great cast. kajol in orange. srk in see-through shirts. it's actually a family drama but it's fun also his mother in the movie has a superpower.

6. Om Shanti Om: no bollywood movie has ever bollywooded the way OSO did. love friendship reincarnation hero heroine villain nepotism revenge action comedy great music (and one more thing but that's a huge spoiler) it really just had everything. one of the finest masala movies ever made. it's tumblr's favourite as it should be. also this movie is how i learnt san francisco rhymes with disco

if you're in the mood for thrillers

7. Baazigar: the directors were having trouble finding the lead actor because nobody wanted to take the risk then srk told the producer that nobody can play this role as good as he can and he became the first actor in the history of filmfare to win the best actor award after playing a negative role. a cult classic.

8. Darr: it's the 90s it's the hero heroine villain era when the audiences think the people who play villains are bad people irl and dislike them. sunny deol an already established "hero" is the hero of the movie and srk is the villain a scary stalker and what happened was that the audiences really loved him instead. (my sister got scared of him enough that she started crying in the theatre and my parents had to leave mid-movie a wuss). something that couldn't have been achieved by just anyone except the future king of bollywood. oh lots of switzerland. also the legendary director of the movie kinda adopted srk and started casting him in every movie of his afterwards.

9. Fan: about an obsessed fan (not me just tbc). underrated af.

about brothers and mothers

10. Karan-Arjun: family evil rich guy poor villagers a mother's wait reincarnation revenge very 90s. used to watch it every time it was on tv. also it was shot in my state 😎

11. Main Hoon Na: a cool srk entry. action comedy friendships a whole college adopting a grown up as their big bro beautiful sarees the best dressed character who then got a make-over 🥲 (the only one flaw of the movie) a villain (which was getting rare in the 2000s) the best ending credits ever and whatnot. it was farah khan's directorial debut and she brought fun back to bollywood with her bestie <3

the only coming-of-age movie he did

12. Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa: i was younger than 4 srk wasn't my favourite "hero" yet but his character from this movie was my first blorbo. my murderous rage awakened for him. the first character i ever related to was also from this movie. gangster uncle 🤜🏾🤛🏾 me. srk was so baby (he was like 28) there was also ra ra rasputin in this. srk loves this movie so do i.

[cheolhub]

hey hey heyy!! i have a question about your first impressions of your moots and anons?

i did a few of my mutuals and my active anons 🥹

@ncteez was literally going to pee myself when she followed me. the first time we talked, we were doing a pc trade and i was lit RALLY so fucking terrified of her but now i love her and i miss her and she makes me feel better when i have an issue with anything. my hon <3

@rubyreduji i rmbr one of our first convos was months after we became mutuals— i was really drunk at a party and i told him everything that was happening. he’s the only person im not terrified to talk to because i alrdy know he hates me 🤗. fun fact: jj has seen me in my truest form bc he follows my finsta (everyone keep him in ur thoughts)

@agustdiv1ne ashlee, aur my god. my first thought abt tumblr user agustdiv1ne was ‘wow, this theme is so cute’ and my second thought was ‘wow, ashlee is so kind and chill and i think i would like her to be my best friend’ and now i hit her up at least once a week on some bullshit and i make her pick my next read or i tell her abt this bitch that owes me $500 <3 she understands me bc we were cut from the same cloth

@etherealyoungk i thought skye’s account was so cute 🥹🥹 omfg i remember the first time we interacted was on our birthday (april 30th, nobody forget) and ever since then she’ll come into my inbox and check in on me and it’s so endearing and makes my whole day. i also love hearing abt how she’s doing T-T NOW me and skye are lowkey bffls. we just buddy read a book together and it was saurrrr much fun, i love her sm 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

@majestyjun MILLIE WAS ONE OF MY FIRST TXT MOOTS. i love her so much omfg, i’ve always thought she was the coolest ever like 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i am kinda just her fan at this point like it’s so embarrassing. i get all blushy when she replies to my asks

@hwanghyunjinenthusiast i was kinda intimidated bc rj uses punctuation (which is literally fine and normal) and i thought she was mad every time i’d be in her ask box. now i think shes the funniest person alive and she’s my favorite person to annoy the shit out of.

@heesbaby MY FIRST IMPRESSION OF CINNA WAS THAT SHE WAS THE SWEETEST ANGEL EVER. i still think this by the way. i will literally get on one knee and propose and love her forever /srs.

@gyuswhore i think i thought em was really nice and quiet and i was so wrong. em is so fucking funny and unhinged in the best way possible. she’s probably the only person that will call me a bitch and an irresponsible spender (she’s never wrong)

@toruro my first thought of mika was adorable and i thought she was a really great writer. literally have her manhandling with chan tattooed on my brain. she is so nice to me and our brief biweekly interactions are very endearing to me <3

@homerunhansol J MY WORLD, i think ive always thought she was an angel in disguise and she’s ALWAYS been someone i want to be happy forever and ever and ever. i also think i thought her love for vernon was so cute bc i dont come across dolly’s very often and it’s just so endearing when i do bcos they are literally a gift from the gods. i love j ⭐️

@sunnylovespickles i thought sunny was so cute actually. i remember our first conversation and she was making me so nervous liejwheheb so cute and sweet like i’ll never get over the way she flattered me. (how to get to my heart: validate me the way sunny did)

@taekurai MY FIRST IMPRESSION OF MAX IS SO FRESH BC WE JUST BECAME MOOTS BUT OFNSHSBE I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH HER? love at first sight seriously. i thought she was so kind and i love the pink on her theme and i just love her sm fr.

🪴 dead plant nonnie T-T ive always been obsessed w them. they told me they liked my desk set up and ive been whipped ever since. no but fr, getting an ask from dead plant nonnie is the highlight of my day. they are someone i feel like i’d be really good friends with irl 🫂 dare i say bffs

🍀 lucky charm nonnie!!! i genuinely think they are my lucky charm bcos every time i’d get an ask from them, i’d literally get a boost of serotonin and my day would significantly improve :,( i love and miss them dearly and i will kill for them. (and make them tea whenever they lose their voice in rehearsal)

🛼 roller blade nonnie <333 I THOUGHT THEY WERE SO FUNNY (i still think theyre hilarious ofc) but they reminded me a lot of myself and i felt like every time i received an ask from them, id laugh to myself and be like “this is some shit i’d say” 😭 i enjoy they’re book reviews and im waiting for them to send an ask so i can talk about acotar with them 🤗 (cough cough, come home nonnie im on book three cough cough)

[esta-elavaris]

Hi!

Sooooo, I was wallowing in self pity because there was no HWFG (no pressure to write or update! I just can’t be normal about that story) so I went to check your ao3 and was surprised to see that you’re a fellow James Norrington truther! It inspired me to rewatch the first two pirates of the Caribbean movies and I kinda fell into the norrington rabbit hole again.

That made me read fallen through time and I honestly became OBSESSED so when I was done with the chapters you posted for that story I immediately turned to catch the wind and,,,,,,, [insert unhinged meme about ripping out guts]. I started reading it on Saturday and I couldn’t put it down so I read through two nights and am now tired as fuck, sitting at work, trying to appear busy while still reading your story. What have you done to me!!! I just read the wedding night chapter (I’m going insane, that had no business being so hot???) and honestly, that was so rewarding? Very well written smut aside, the slow burn was soooo good and there were moments where I had actual tears in my eyes??? Theo’s pain when she overheard Elizabeth accepting James‘ proposal? AH!!!! I adore their relationship. The banter, the soft moments, their conflict, their quiet conversations (though I must say I maybe even like it more in fallen through time? He’s just so mean, suspicious and stupid at times in that one, I live for that). I feel like theyre the definition of „she fell first, he fell harder“ and at one point i was really reminded of something I’ve read elsewhere… it was something like „you’re looking at me with purpose“ and that’s just so spot on for James? He’s so devoted to her it makes my heart melt.

On that note, it’s so impressive how much research you’ve done?! And how much thought you’ve put into everything? It’s not easy to write for that time period (I say as a person with two degrees in history lol), especially when it comes to balancing the cultural differences between norrington and Theo? That made everything even more fun to read.

And it’s so impressive how you manage to have this story follow the events of the movies but for it to never become boring or repetitive? You manage to capture the characters we all know and love so well while also making them your own. Your James, of course, is spot on, but also Elizabeth and will? And in all honesty, I maybe like your jack sparrow more than the canon one. He serves as comic relief so much that you sometimes forget he’s a seasoned pirate and much more intelligent, provident and even dangerous than one might think. He feels much more human in your story in my opinion. And that moment where he returns to Tortuga and confronts Theo about the cannibals? I laughed so loud that my bf woke up lol

Okay so I’ll stop rambling now, I just wanted to drop by to tell you how much I love your work and how glad I am that I checked out your norrington/theo stuff. Theo is amazing and I love them both so much. My boss just left the building and I sure will spend the rest of my time at work today reading, they don’t pay me enough anyway. I so hope that her attempt at changing James’ fate will work out and I’m very anxious but also excited to find out where this all goes!

Sending love and appreciation from Germany!

I know I'm on a tumblr break but this is too nice and it has me crying too much to leave it to gather dust in my inbox 🫠🫠🫠

Thank you so so so so SO much!!!

Honestly Catch the Wind will always have a special place in my heart (the people who have sat and watched me continue to talk about it ~14 months after it was finished are like "we know, babe") because I wrote it like, being somewhat fond of Norrington but mostly to get the idea for a Boromir fic out of my system, and instead I ended up sick over Norrington and still writing the Boromir fic anyway. Buuut I mean I got my favourite project so far out of it so I can't complain, I just laugh at how I played myself. Tbf tho, it was a great thing because POTC was a great stepping stone towards even more intimidating LOTR territory!

I'm so glad the smut was decent, too! That was the first story I've ever written it for and I was so nervous about it 💀 I do completely agree with your view on Theo and James as a couple though - the falling first/harder, and the "you're looking at me with purpose" both. I just don't think he'd ever be the type to get complacent. He's not a man who lays on the charm to win the girl, before thinking "what's the point in continuing to try?" once he "has" her. I see him as being such a ride or die, insanely loyal, "that is my WIFE", Gomez Addams coded guy, I love him for it. Those sitcom coded jokes where a guy hates his wife the second he marries her would be the very opposite of his kind of thing. That's why I had so much fun giving him that back in Theo, considering Elizabeth doesn't return his feelings in the movies.

And I mean, I don't think he's owed that from her and I don't think less of her for not returning those feelings, she can't help it (although I do raise my eyebrows at anybody who'd choose Will over The Noz, but people are allowed to be wrong ig), and I think if anything it'd be worse if she did marry him in the end without having that same level of feeling, but it was just so nice to give him someone as dedicated to him as he was to her in Theodora 🥹 I also think Boromir has a lot of that in him, so I'm very excited about his future with Sybil.

I'm also so thrilled to hear the research went appreciated - a lot of it was very fun, like if I hadn't done an Eng Lit/Creative Writing degree, I would've gone into history (I actually almost did do a second degree in history but the funding didn't work out, so I stick to just reading a lot, which I'm cool with), and like most of it was fun, but there were times when I was googling a) the origin of the coffee table, and b) 18th century equivalents of a coffee table/accent table at 4am for the sake of one throwaway line where I did wonder about my path in life. I swear, I deep-dived into it in the notes usually because I at least wanted to make it clear when I had done my research vs when I was knowingly deviating (a few unknowing mistakes did slip through but I think how much research otherwise went into it kind of makes people more willing to overlook a mistake here and there?) but also because it meant I could get more out of said research binges than just one unnoticeable line in a random paragraph 🤡

And JACK. God. I could write a dissertation on Jack. What they do to his character in movies 4/5 are 90% of the reason I don't like them and have only seen them once each. The other 10% is that uhhh they're just crap. Like it's so, so clear in the first three - mainly because of JD's fab acting - that the eccentric thing masks a lot of intelligence and cunning. He'll do his whole "weirdo" shtick, and I don't even think it's entirely an act, I think he is truly eccentric to an extent, but there'll just be these really brief moments where there's just a gleam in his eye, or he'll be suddenly serious for 0.5 seconds and you see what's going on behind the mask, and you realise it is a mask. Whereas in 4/5 it turns into a thing of "idiot who bumbles around and finds his way by sheer luck", which was never what he was in the trilogy.

I also think his crew's reaction to him shows that he is more than willing to be a hardass captain when it comes to it - the moment off of the top of my head is when Cotton's parrot goes "walk the plank" in movie two and his gun is immediately out and he's not happy and they all kinda startle a bit. But even without glimpses like that, like, they're pirates. If he was weak, and he wasn't willing to be stern and not take shit, they wouldn't follow him, and he wouldn't be half as infamous as he is. They know he's odd, but it's clear they respect him, so he must have earned that respect.

He was the one I was most scared of having to write going into this thing (along with Barbossa and Beckett), because he's so easy to get wrong. I'm always so, so thrilled when I hear I did him justice!

Okay, I have written you an entire dissertation here, so I'll stop now and just say again THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!! 💜💜💜 I've read this like ten times since I first received it, it had me grinning like an idiot every single time, I'm so grateful -- and I hope you like what I have in store for HWFG! The wait shouldn't be tooo long, I'm taking April off of posting but not writing, so ideally I'll have something to post in the very beginning of May!

(and I'll reply to your other ask in a bit, I just wanted to make it clear I wasn't ignoring this!!)

[burningfairytales]

Just saw your answer. Can I ask, why do you love Haikyuu, All for the Game, and Throne of Glass? I think those 3 media are unique (because they're so different from each other) and I love to read your writings.

Hey! :)

Of course you can ask!

I know, they're all super different; it's weird.

Starting with Throne of Glass - I love the growth of the whole book series a a whole? In both the characters but also the writing itself.

You can really tell that SJM was young when she started writing it, and I think it's fun to see how her writing evolves with time.

(Fun fact - I couldn't finish the first one when I picked it up the first time. I thought it was horrible. I gave it another chance after reading ACOTAR though, and everyone is right: It does get so much better. Now I think it's cool to compare the writing in the first book to the writing in the last one.)

I like the storyline, and I LOVE the characters. I think every single character is well-rounded. They're flawed and they all learn and grow.

I also have to say that by now, I prefer ToG to ACOTAR because, well. The first three books were great! After that it felt like they solely existed for smut purposes. Not that there's anything wrong with that - it's just not my cup of tea.

In Throne of Glass you did have some scenes that bordered on spice, but it felt fitting. Like it was there for a reason - a natural continuation of the characters becoming intimate with each other both physically and mentally. It didn't feel like there was smut just for the sake of it being there, if that makes sense?

In general I just felt like the characters and their interactions and relationships felt very natural to me.

As for All for the Game - I mean.

I was part of the fandom when we were still 20 people and a cardboard cutout, you know? There were very few of us, but we loved those books fiercely. And as there was barely any fan-content out there at the time, we had to go out and make it ourselves.

I met some people in that time that I will never forget - people I wish all the happiness in the world for, even if we don't talk anymore.

I also met one of my best friends through those books. Now imagine - this was almost ten years ago, and this year, she officiated my wedding.

So those books will always, always be special to me.

As for the story itself - I had no idea what I was about to read at the time. Someone on tumblr recommended them to me and she generally had great taste, so I tried them. I mean, if she had told me I was about to read "Sports Manga Goes to America And Also The Mafia Shows Up" it might have stayed on my to-read list forever.

It does sound pretty ridiculous.

But this whole theme of all these damaged kids coming together and having to figure things out together, and helping each other heal?

That kinda gets me everytime, and Nora did it especially well.

It was like, never once was an issue talked about like it meant nothing. People tend to handle trauma like it comes with an expiration date, you know? Like there is just a certain point after which you're expected to be over it.

Well, some things you don't get over. Ever. And they get easier to deal with, with the right tools. And the right people. But that doesn't make them lesser-than. I think that's a theme that just spoke to me.

Also, I mean, the whole relationship between Neil and Andrew. I mean. Yeah. Perfection.

As for Haikyuu - which is perhaps my oddest choice, and also my latest obsession...

I went into expecting nothing. I knew it was a sports anime that people talked about a few years ago, and I always meant to check it out, but never got around to it.

And then it was on Netflix, and I thought, hey, y'know what, I haven't watched any good animes lately.

Look, I didn't go into it expecting to cry because Hinata managed to receive a stupid ball. I didn't expect to cry because of "thanks for getting me into volleyball."

I may have expected crying about "It's time I became an ace. Period." if I'd known it was coming, but I DIDN'T SO THERE'S THAT.

Thing is, I cannot, for the live of me, think of a single character I don't like. There are characters I really wanted to not like (I'm so sorry Tendo, you deserved better) and characters I am still midly annoyed by (look as hilarious as that snake guy was he was just in too many scenes, okay. I had the same problem with him that I had with the one guy from Laketown in The Hobbit 3. You know which one I'm talking about. Like three main characters DIED and you didn't get to mourn them because apparently an executive decision was made to underminde that tragedy by forcing a guy to wear a dress and expect the audience to laugh at that.

It's been years. I am still bitter.)

(Ahem.)

But yes, I just love every single character so, so much. They're all so intricate with their own desires and flaws and dreams and ways of thinking. I rarely even liked a main character as much as I love Hinata.

I love the relationship each team displays among its members. I love their dynamics. I love the dynamics the teams have amongst each other.

Ah - another scene that had me choking back tears. Daichi's and Kuroo's hug. I mean. After all those "I'm going to break your hand"-handshakes?? Yeah, there were tears.

Haikyuu might not have the depth that for example Throne of Glass has when it comes to its plot, but that's not necessary - it wins in other aspects.

I'm telling you that when I'm having a Bad Day (capital letters necessary), Haikyuu is a show that will cheer me up. Sometimes it doesn't need much. Sometimes a few dorks with a volleyball will do. It's just a very feel-good show - or a feel-good manga series of course.

So I guess, maybe these three things aren't completely different - they all overlap in the part that matters most to me: people finding each other. Strangers becoming a team, a family, and choosing to help each other through life.

Found family, man. That will never not get me.