#also i may do a live stream of doing requests if anyone is interested

[daily-trey]

ASK BOX CLOSED

If you have supported me in the past on Kofi, you are still able request something in the pinned post on my Kofi, and I will guaranteed answer!

[darl-ings]

midnight radio | jeon wonwoo

pairing: wonwoo x reader

genre: fluff, college au

warnings: none

word count: 2390

summary: in which you are a new host for your school’s midnight radio broadcast and wonwoo makes a call to the show

a/n: this has been in my drafts since 2021…

“Good evening, everyone. Welcome to KU’s Midnight Radio. The song you just heard was Sabrina Carpenter’s Bed Chem. I’m Y/N, your host for this semester. As you may know, Midnight Radio is usually hosted by Soonyoung Kwon, or DJ Hoshi, our favorite eccentric dance major, but he’s studying abroad in Japan right now, so I’m here to host the show for him until he comes back in January. 

“You know, I’m actually not that nervous right now, even though I’m alone. I don’t know if any of you know me, but I hosted the show with DJ Hoshi and DJ Hong for a bit during last fall semester. I had a great time since I got to chat with my fellow peers during the late hours of the night. By the way, I hope you’re all having a good night so far. The first week has been really hectic for me, so I’m sure it was for a lot of you too. Make sure to get some rest. After the show, of course.”

You winked at the camera filming you, watching as the comments of the show’s Twitch stream began flooding in. You leaned forward, squinting your eyes to read them.

“Welcome, welcome. I see a few song requests, so I’ll make sure to play some of those later. Does anyone want to have a chat? The number is in the pinned comment if you guys want to talk. I get it if you don’t want to though. I’m having a pretty good time by myself.”

It took only a few moments for the phone to light up next to the laptop. A grin appeared on your face as you reached out to answer it, pressing the speaker button before leaning back to get comfortable in your chair. 

“Name and social security number please,” you joked, crossing your arms over your chest as you smiled over to the camera.

“Wonwoo, 738203830,” the voice answered back, causing you to gasp.

“Did anyone get that? Surely someone wrote that down,” you asked, grinning happily as you leaned forward to read through the flood of comments. “Some people caught that number, Wonwoo. Anything to say for yourself?”

“I’m sorry to Kim Mingyu for outing his social security number,” the person stated, his seriousness making you laugh. The person on the phone chuckled too. “It’s not his actual number, by the way.”

“I’d hope not. If we’re thinking of the same Kim Mingyu, I’m positive he wouldn’t let you live another second if you gave that information away,” you laughed again, thinking about your good friend, Mingyu. 

“You’re right. Do you know him? Tall, good cook, thinks he’s good looking?”

“I do, but I’m not going to fuel his already big ego by talking about him during the show.”

“Good idea.”

“So, Wonwoo. Tell us about yourself. Anything interesting going on?” you asked, anticipating the stranger’s answer. Wonwoo hummed to himself in thought.

“My name is Wonwoo. I live off-campus with a few of my friends, Mingyu included. My major is--”

“Sorry to cut you off, Wonwoo, but if I have another awkward conversation about majors my head might explode. I said tell me something interesting! What are you doing right now?”

“Oh thank God, I wasn’t ready to have someone ask what classes I take and why I choose KU as my school. I hate when they ask that, by the way. Why do they care so much?” he questioned, making you chuckle.

“They don’t care. They’re just trying to fill the awkward silence with an awkward question.”

“Right. Well, what am I doing right now? Hm, I’m in my room watching your stream and talking to you. Mingyu’s cooking ramen for our other roommate Vernon, so I might steal some of it when he’s done making it.”

“It’s the right thing to do. But also, why are they cooking so late? It’s 11:30pm right now.”

“Vernon skipped dinner to go to the Asian-American club meeting. He’s one of the club leaders so he had a lot to do tonight.”

“That’s the best club on campus, by the way,” you pointed out to the camera. “Anyway, did you want to talk about anything, Wonwoo?”

“Hmm, let me think of something interesting. Should I ask an academic or existential question?” he asked, your eyebrows furrowing as you thought. 

“While I do love existential questions, I think since it's the end of the first week of school, we should talk about academic things. Don’t make it boring though. Maybe some advice?”

“Advice is a bit boring though…”

“I could just ask the next caller…”

“How do you get close to your peers?” Wonwoo quickly asked, making the smile on your face soften. “I mean, maybe we could give a few tips on making friends?” he suggested. You nodded along, clapping your hands gently.

“I like that, yeah. I know a lot of people, including myself, who had or are currently having a hard time getting close to others. Are you the same, Wonwoo?”

“I am.”

“Really? You don’t seem like it. We’ve had a good conversation so far, I think.”

“Yeah, but it’s easier to talk when you’re not face-to-face with the person, you know?”

“That’s true. Maybe that’s why I feel so comfortable talking to a stranger right now.”

“Maybe… Look, I know we said we weren’t going to talk about Mingyu, but he’s a good example for our question. He’s a talkative person, right?”

“Very talkative.”

Wonwoo laughed. “I met him halfway through my sophomore year. He was a freshman but he was more popular than anyone I knew. He came up to me in the cafeteria when I was eating alone and just struck up a conversation with me. I’m surprised he didn’t stop talking to me after that since I was very quiet and gave him short answers. He’s my best friend now, so I’ve witnessed a lot of encounters when he just goes up to someone randomly and talks to them. We went to the grocery store earlier today and he just started a conversation with a worker in the bread aisle…” Wonwoo paused for a few moments, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “I guess I’ve always wanted to have his voice. Not like–not his actual voice, but his ability to talk to anyone and keep them interested.”

You hummed at Wonwoo’s words, eyes on the comments as you spoke. “It seems a few listeners have friends like this too. But, yeah, I get it. My friend Yuqi is very extroverted as well. I wish I could make friends as easily as her, but also, I can tell it’s exhausting for them to talk so much. I don’t know about Mingyu, but Yuqi comes back to our apartment after a party and immediately crashes. She pushes herself to talk to all these people, but it just tires herself out. I’m sure if I tried to be that extroverted, I would probably die.”

“Same. I remember after my freshman orientation week, I slept for twenty-seven hours straight. I was going to sleep for more, but my roommate at the time called the on-campus police saying he thought I was dead.”

“Twenty-seven hours? Jeez, you practically were dead! But seriously, talking to people is so exhausting. Especially during freshman orientation! The amount of people I talked to during then was more than I’ve talked to in my entire life.”

“Of all those people I met, I only talk to one of them today. All of it was pretty pointless, but I’ve heard some people meet their best friends during that first week.”

“Yeah, I met a few of mine during then too. But, anyway, back to the question. How do you get close to people? Well, my advice is to remember that whatever you’re insecure about, whether it's your personality, your body, whatever, it does not matter. When you’re meeting someone, don’t focus on the negative things, like if you’re making a fool of yourself or if you look bad. No one cares that much, and if they do, they aren’t a good friend.”

“This is why it took me so long to make friends. I always felt that no one was listening to me when I spoke, so I convinced myself that I had nothing important to say. But my friends now teach me that my voice matters. Vernon especially. He doesn’t talk much, to begin with, but when he does everyone focuses on him, because we care about what he has to say. And when I talk, everyone looks at me and I feel like they’re listening.”

“That’s important, by the way! Make eye contact when you’re speaking with people. I feel so shitty when people aren’t looking at me while I’m talking. I always trail off and just stop talking. Make eye contact, and don’t multitask when someone is talking to you. It’s rude.”

“Don’t get me started on that. I hate when people are doing other things during a conversation, especially if we’re talking about something deep or important. And I really hate when people don’t listen to me after I just listened to them.”

“Please, everyone, listen when people talk. My self-esteem gets so low when people don’t listen to what I have to say. So please, listen to people and be active in the conversation.”

“Being active in the conversation is really important.”

“Exactly. So, in conclusion, listen, be active, and make eye contact. If you make people feel good while you’re talking, they’ll want to talk to you more,” you stated while pointing at the camera with a stern look on your face. You heard Wonwoo chuckle, causing your hand to falter. “Why are you laughing?”

“You’re just cute,” he answered simply, causing a blush to spread across your cheeks. You looked away from the camera, suddenly feeling very shy. “Wow, really? All it took was calling you cute to stop you from talking?”

“It caught me off guard,” you whined slightly, hiding your face with your hands. Wonwoo laughed at your reaction, causing a wide smile to fall on your lips. You removed your hands from your face, smiling at the phone. “Did Mingyu finish making the ramen?” you asked, resting your arms on the table. 

“Yeah, a while ago.”

“What? Why didn’t you go eat it?”

“Because I was talking to you. But I should go now. I think they’re watching Single’s Inferno without me.”

“Alright, Wonwoo,” you pouted slightly, sighing as you traced your finger on the table’s wood. 

“Don’t sound so disappointed, Y/N,” Wonwoo chuckled softly. It was embarrassing how easily a stranger could make your cheeks redden. The conversation with Wonwoo was the best one you’ve had in a while, and you were sad to end the call.

“I’m not,” you denied, sitting up to scoot closer to your laptop. You read through a few comments before speaking up. “The people don’t want you to leave.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” you answered, reading a few more comments. “Someone said you should co-host the show with me,” you giggled.

“That sounds fun. Maybe I’ll look into it for you.”

“Don’t be cheesy,” you muttered with a smile, switching your laptop tabs from the Twitch stream to your Spotify. “Before you go, any song requests?” you asked, trying not to sound sad as you spoke. Wonwoo hummed in thought.

“I’ve been listening to SUHO’s album recently, Self-Portrait?”

“I love that album,” you smiled.

“It’s really good. Could I request a song from it?”

“Of course.”

“Okay… maybe, Let’s Love,” Wonwoo suggested, your heart doing a million flips as you typed the song into the search bar. 

“I’ll make sure to play it next. Thank you for this lovely conversation, Wonwoo. Eat well tonight and get some rest,” you stated. “Tell Mingyu to make me ramen sometime, too.”

“Will do. Thanks for talking with me, Y/N. Goodnight, sleep well after the show.”

The line ended shortly after, a sad smile resting on your face. You sighed, looking back to the camera with a wider smile. 

“Now, I will be playing Wonwoo’s song request. It’s one of my favorites off the mini-album, Self-Love. This is Let’s Love, by EXO’s SUHO.”

You held two more shows on Saturday and Sunday night, silently wishing Wonwoo would call again. You had good conversations with other students, but none were as riveting as the one you had with Wonwoo. It was probably easy to search him up, and you contemplated doing so during your free period between classes on Monday as you sat in the campus cafe with Yuqi across from you. Your finger hovered over the Instagram search button, where you had typed in Wonwoo’s name, but to avoid being a creep, you exited out of the app and placed your phone on the table.

“Dude, found your mystery man,” Yuqi spoke up, causing you to nearly spit out your drink. You looked up at her, raising your eyebrows in confusion.

“What?”

“Wonwoo, that guy you talked to during the show on Friday. He’s in Mingyu’s recent post. They went to some water park,” Yuqi stated, still scrolling through her phone. “They all have really good bodies…” she trailed off, staring dreamily at her screen.

“Are you not going to show me?” you questioned, leaning forward to look at her phone. She giggled at your eagerness, turning her phone to face you.

In the photo, Mingyu was standing next to three other guys, including Minghao, who was a partner of yours in your Photography class. You tapped on the picture, revealing the tags of the others standing with them. There was a person tagged vernon_98, who you immediately identified as the Vernon that Wonwoo talked about during your call. Which meant, the other person tagged as everyone_woo was Wonwoo.

You blinked at the picture, taking in the visuals of your mystery caller. You noted his black hair and his glasses which made him look surprisingly good. You blushed slightly at how the wet suit he wore was tight against his muscles, revealing his large biceps and pecs. He held up a peace sign, your eyes trailing to his hand. He was so incredibly handsome, and you just had a conversation with him like it was nothing. 

“Oh my God,” you muttered. “He’s hot?!”

[random-fandom1984]

Hi!! 😆

May I request TFP Yandere Soundwave x human reader?

Thank for reading this (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง✨

Sorry if it doesn't have that much yandere as you were hoping for.

Okay, so, the only way I can see that you could've gotten his attention is either you're related to one of the three human charges – family or friend. Because of that, you don't know about the Autobots and Decepticons.

Soundwave was given the mission to find out more about the human pets, through humans that are close to them. Out of all of their family and friends, he chose you.

He only went through some of your info, and you're a friend of Miko's host parents that lives in a state up north, in Gravity Falls, Oregon (Yes, I'm making a little crossover with GF, but TFP came out 2 years before Gravity Falls existed, so Weirdmageddon hasn't happened yet, nor have the Pine Twins visited yet.)

You've met Miko a few times when you've came to visit, and it's best to say you don't like how loud, irresponsible, foolish, and doesn't understand people's boundaries. You were a rather quiet introverted person, and she was an overbearing extrovert, so you two didn't mix well.

When it was Christmas last year, they were at your family gathering, and she almost got your cousins hurt with firecrackers, who were mainly toddlers and young children. She even said, quote-unquote, that "They needed to live a little and not have helicopter parents deciding everything for them." The thing was that your aunts and uncles weren't helicopter parents, they were normal, calm, and understanding parents!

Miko was one of the main reasons why you lost faith in humanity, and you despised her with a burning passion. You even told this to her in her face, but she would say that you're just grumpy and should take a nap. As if you were a little child that didn't know better!

You work as an online artist that takes request for people who can't draw certain things like, animals, details, DND characters, Oc's etc.

As time went on, he was starting to get obsessed with learning more about you, and he knows more about you than anyone else you know in your life. Your favorite animal are birds, your favorite color is d/s/f/c (Dark Shade of Favorite Color), you hate people, don't like talking, have a pet European Starling named Jermey, after the crow in the Secret of Nimh because of his love for shiny and sparkly things, who is also the model for your watermarks on your designs, you like dying your hair, and so much more.

You were having a normal day, doing a live stream as you were taking requests from your viewers, when this one person in particular to do a city made out of metal, the people are robots that can transform, and even gave you an image that they "made" that was called Kaon. Interested, you took up this challenge.

It was safe to say that Soundwave wasn't disappointed with the end results of it; It looked magnificent. The image of his home was nostalgic of the good old days of Cybertron, when it wasn't just him and Laserbeak, when all of his children minicons were still alive.

The two of you kept in contact and became friends on the internet. You would tell each other about how your days went; you were told that he works as one of the higher ups in a company, has to deal with an annoying, loud, arrogant assistant of his boss – reminds you of a certain someone –, has a pet bird, is introverted, doesn't talk, doesn't like humanity- you're already hooked.

You turned a blind eye to things, like how he somehow knows where you live, find out about private accounts on social media, knows that you're talking to someone even when there's barely any people around, kind of seeming jealous/overprotective over text. The hardest one to do is when someone insults or steals your art, only to end up severely or lightly wounded somewhere between the next day to the end of the week, saying that a robot version of Slenderman or a metal bird that has an origami themed shape, etc.

There were a few things that caught your attention. How he uses the wrong terminology for things such as units time, parts of the body, even saying organics, fleshies, humans instead of people or others by their names. You were suspicious but brushed it off every time it happens.

At the beginning of Soundwave's his sire growing obsession, Laserbeak didn't even understand what was so great about you. But it changed when he was shot down by Autobots and landed out in the woods, you found him, and repaired him. During his stay, he made friends with Jeremy, and during repairs, you were gentle as you could be when fixing him up, your touched were light, you asked if what you were doing was alright, and he honestly thought of those human films where the mother would help their child when they get an injury. In this situation, he was your the child, and you were his the mother; he understood now.

Knowing Laserbeak's existence was the reason why it was a little hard to turn a blind eye to those that were injured.

When Laserbeak returned, he gave the information to Soundwave, and that's when Soundwave knew that you were the one to complete the family.

When the both of you actually met face-to-face is when you texted him that an ex of yours came back is so persistent on getting back together and won't leave you alone. When it was night, your ex cornered you, and was ranting on and on about how you should be grateful that he's giving you a second chance, even though you were the one to break up with him, only to end up dead on the pavement. You looked up to see Soundwave himself.

The first thought that came to mind didn't revolve around fear. No! It was 'Oh, god, he looks hot-'

So, you were taken aboard the Nemesis, you became a part of the Con Crew. 1.) Because you're close, in a way, to one of the Autobot's human pets; 2.) You hated humans just as much as they did; 3.) It's Soundwave. Megatron trusts him with any decision of his. A reason Soundwave gave, in public? A human to spy on the Autobots- Shut the fuck up random Vehicon, this is a human spy, not Makeshift. This isn't like Starscream's plan.

This happened only a day after Optimus Prime became Orion Pax. Soundwave had a feeling that something might happen, so he had you wear something that will cover up everything, mainly your head/face. He knows the archivist is smart, and if he were to revert back to Optimus, then he would recognize who you are.

Often times, some Vehicons would make comments about a human joining the ranks, or try to get rid of you, and they were met with an electric end.

It was only about a week later, after Orion became Optimus again, when they decided how they were going to get you in their base, and with the help of the newly arrived Dreadwing, they can do just that.

Part 2 coming soon...

So, basically this was a yandere x willing reader. I just hope you're satisfied.

[depraved-gf]

How fitting that I would write this exactly two months to the day after I went no contact with this boy. Hm.

Well. You all requested the story of the last boy I ever had feelings for. So buckle up. It's worth it to note that I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), so while I do have a Fearful Avoidant attachment style, if I do happen to find that rare attachment, my feelings can get intense and happen very quickly. I don't get to choose it, but sometimes my BPD can also latch onto someone and make them what's called a Favorite Person (FP).

An FP to someone with BPD is like looking up at God. It can be anyone. You see, an FP can do no wrong, even if they do. You attach to them, connection wise, emotionally, spiritually, and they're your every waking thought. It's toxic for both parties. And for someone with BPD, forcing yourself to detach from an FP feels like LITERAL death.

I've only had 2 of them, including this boy. The one before him was my toxic ex of 14 years. Yes... 14 years, I stayed with my last FP. Do you see why an FP can be detrimental?

Anyway. I met this boy online. We'll call him J.

Y'see, I post on occasion to NSFW reddit. I began doing this after my big breakup to see if someone like me could ever be desirable. Again... This was a very long and neglectful relationship. I've posted on and off, but back in late September, I was posting while I was still FtM (Female-to-Male) and transitioning. This matters.

I received a chat request from this guy. I looked at his profile. Really liked what I saw. Saw that he commented often on another FtM's profile, thus making him okay with my transitioning body - a big plus and a nice refuge from the constant misgendering and need for a "female body."

J messaged me kindly enough. He didn't immediately sexualize me. I mean, he did, but it was welcomed and as expected on NSFW reddit. But he was kind about it. Even funny, really.

I initially didn't respond all that much. A couple times every few days, maybe. In a sea of messages, I don't often have a lot of energy to respond. But it wasn't long when I got the message, "so, if we're going to talk [like this], I may as well get to know the person behind the pics, right?" and proceeded to ask about me. My interests. My favorite things. [Note: I wish I still had the account, but I deleted it entirely so I wouldn't continue to hurt myself while looking back at these messages. I only have the meaningful screenshots left.]

So we talked.

A lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. We got to know each other. Sexted. Made personal videos for one another. And went right back to talking normally. All day, everyday. He lived 3 hours away. I learned that he was the 4th of 12 kids, and he learned that I lost my eldest brother to drugs. I learned his favorite color was purple and he learned mine is nature green. We both were heavily abused in past relationships and never knew what it felt like to be loved or cared for. We both gamed, we enjoyed the same hobbies. He ensured to always ask if he was crossing any gender boundaries, asked me what I preferred to be called, always, always was so considerate towards my transition.

We agreed to talk more and become FWBs. But both of us were so shy and fearful of meeting since we'd never met anyone from online before, so we agreed to talk a little longer. J is the most shy, yet arrogant man I've ever met lmao. [Just my type. Shame on me. I love a god complex.]

Days passed. A week. Two. All day, everyday, J and I would talk. And once I started feeling a little dysphoric about being male, he very quickly switched over to using my preferred pronouns and pet names. It was seamless, and something I never experienced before.

He encouraged me to be the best version of myself. I encouraged him to get back into streaming on twitch, his past relationships always making him quit or mocking him for doing it.

We sent face pictures after being shy. We sent voice notes. He made it a game to try guessing my deadname (with my permission), and when I told him he had to guess extremely early-mid 90s names, he sent me more voice notes. [These, I do still have]. "It's Katherine. No? Okay, dammit. I'm going to get this, Isa, mark my words. [The next day, another voice note.] So I was actually thinkin' about it ALL DAY, but I kinda don't wanna say my next guess because it's gonna be kinda awkward if it's right- [second voice message after I encouraged him to say it] -*a smile in his voice* No, Isa, I do not have the voice of a Greek god, leave me alone *laughs* you're just tryna make me all smiley and shit, motherfucker. Okay, so I was thinkin' it's Samantha, 'cause that's a super 90s ass name, right?"

He had told me I had the voice of an angel and I told him he had the voice of a Greek god. [And tumblr, he did. Ohhhh, he did. Just hearing them again to type it out gave me full body chills. Ugh.]

He trusted me when his aunt unalived herself. Vented to me, said he wanted to take time for himself but that he just couldn't stay away from talking to me, explaining that he didn't even trust his best friends with the grisly details of her death because it was so bad.

I'd also occasionally get 3am messages saying he's thinking about me.

Or little things like, "I can't talk to anyone like I talk to you, Isa." Or while he was driving to work, he'd send me sky pictures since he lives in rural [state], knowing I sort of miss the pretty country skies. "It's so pretty out today, nothing compared to you, though." or-

He'd keep sayin' real cutesy shit like that for a FWB. But then, he asked me to send a few songs his way that would generally explain my music taste. This was the kicker - I was raised in a full musicians household. Music is quite literally my life. It's my home. My sanctuary. So when I sent him over my songs, thinking he'd never heard of my shit, he sent back the same shit. And we agreed to go see August Burns Red in early December. Our first meeting was going to be a concert for a band we both loved. [Yes. Ouch, in hindsight. I ended up not going, obviously.]

So the mf made me a whole playlist on Spotify since it's what I use. And I made him one on YouTube premium since it's what he used. And I shit you not, it's just about the same fucking music. Really freaked me out but in the best way.

Then... After more days passed, I had a really, really bad night. Y'see, I suffer from gallbladder issues from my very fluctuating weight throughout my life. I have EDs (eating disorders) - I've been in the 80lb category before, and I've also been up in the 280s. I've not been kind to my body and this is my payment. One night, I had a particularly bad episode. If you've never had a gallbladder attack, imagine the most intense pain you've ever experienced - now, take it and form it into a very sharp, spiky, WAY too small rubber band, and wrap it around your entire abdomen across your sternum and around your back. Deal with that 12/10 pain for a full day, nothing touching it, and then deal with the aftershocks of it for a full week after. [I have doctor phobia. Leave me alone. I manage.]

I had a particularly bad attack, and J was there. We hadn't done much else except talk on reddit and occasionally snap or text and send cute voice notes. But that night, he remembered that I mentioned finding comfort when my ex would play games while I was sick. I love to watch people play games if I'm not the one actually playing for once. It relaxes me. It reminds me of the simpler times when my brother and I would stay up and play Final Fantasy until the early morning hours. J did something I didn't expect, though - on Discord, he offered to call me while he played his game before he had to stream with his friends. We hadn't talked on the phone before this, both of us just far too shy and afraid to fuck it up.

But he did. He called me. And it was awkward, and it was adorable, and so, so endearing. It comforted me through the immense, blinding pain. It didn't seem so bad when I had that voice comforting me in my ears.

He even stayed on a little later and made his friends wait to ensure I was comfortable, before he hung up to stream. And even then, this man had always been so good about texting during his game even when I told him to "focus, dummy!<3." I turned on his stream after that and I fell asleep to his voice. In what was once searing pain, I managed to fall asleep.

But y'see, J wasn't just super sweet. He was possessive. When I posted on reddit, he'd always tell me how jealous he got that I was talking to others, even passively in my comments. Again, a huge turn on for me. He told me I was his. That he'd come show me who I belonged to.

Eventually... We confessed that we had feelings for one another. "You got me actin crazy, I've never given out my number to anyone online, I be thinkin' about you at 4am all the time, workin' to keep you around... I'd say I prolly do [have feelings]."

It got serious after that when he confessed it truthfully without jokes. That one is for me.

Oh, and here's me, in all my flirtatiously awkward glory:

What a surprise, Isa doesn't know how to flirt.

But... Some things didn't add up after a while. He didn't like to snap much, instead opting to remain on reddit. He kept making the time to meet later and later, eventually saying he likely wouldn't be able to come up until late January, and this was mid-October. I expressed my concern on the matter, saying that I understood his hesitation if he wanted to take time, but also that I was admittedly upset after I was the one who already bought our tickets and accommodations and shit. And it seemed to be fine. "Aight listen, you're right, I'm sorry. There really is no reason, I was just scared of fuckin' this up. If my babygirl wants to see me sooner, then imma make it work. ABR [August Burns Red] it is, send me the ticket again." [<- REMEMBER THIS!!!]

Then, we'd get into tiny little spats.... Where he'd then say shit like, "well it's not like we know each other, goddamn." And be immediately cool with ending it.

But then he'd apologize for acting up. "If I'm acting dumb just tell me and I'll act right"

It was small things at first. Then he suddenly started getting distant.

I wouldn't hear from him a whole lot. And so when I communicated and asked him what was up, October 19th, he finally spoke up and said he was angry that I made him feel forced and rushed to come see me.

And y'know what I did?

I apologized. Cried to him. Begged him to stay and that I'd be better. Felt like such a shit person for making him feel forced, even though I went back much later into the messages and saw that I was extremely understanding about his anxiety, and only upset about the plans after he had me buy the tickets/accommodations.

Looking back, it wasn't my responsibility to read through the lines of him retracting back to agreeing to go. And it ended up being a cop out. [I'm getting to this. Just trust me.]

So we talked normally after that. Even sorta flirted like normal, but it was strained. You could tell.

"Makin' me do the lil smiley thing again" he said to our little Mr. Miyagi banter. [An inside thing...]

October 21st, though.

9pm.

"Isa. I wasn't going to tell you this, but you deserve to know.

I learned about a week ago that I got my girlfriend pregnant. And ion wanna keep doin this shit with you if imma make it right. No reason we can't still be friends tho?"

...what- HUH?!

My heart exploded. I couldn't breathe. I tried so hard to physically hold myself together where it felt like my core was going to snap in half. I was dying. Dying. DYING.

He explained that he was planning to break up with her for a while because it began as a drug relationship and they don't really talk since he got clean, but that she's very volatile and he's afraid of what she'd do if he left.

I simply wished him well and went no contact.

I was dying. Dying. DYING.

I watched his streams just to hear his voice one more time. I listened to the voice notes. I needed him. I craved him.

Pleasecomebackpleasecomebackpleasecomeback

I did my own research. Turns out they were engaged.

I was dying. Dying. DYING.

I drank myself to near death. Jameson Black Barrel Whiskey will never taste the same. Countless hours spent venting to my poor roommate. Yelling. Screaming. Feeling hollow. Empty. Dead.

He was my FP, and now he was dead.

...............

About a month later, mid-November, I got a reddit message. "Is it bad that I still come to your page to check on you?"

My response was surface level. I wasn't strong enough not to respond yet. But I did leave him on read after that. "Well, you know I'll always be a fan of you."

Maybe 2 weeks later, I had seen that he was streaming with a camera on this time. I watched him. The way he carries himself, his voice, his mannerisms. I was okay for the most part, but it was bittersweet. Like an old flame.

I saw him look down at his phone, and Bing! My phone went off.

"I see you on stream 👀"

And he got visibly more excited. Animated with the game. More talkative and smiley.

And then I left. I deserved that power play. And I haven't been back.

I deleted my reddit account after that. Didn't want to look back. Didn't want the memories. Started up my backup.

And last night, at 2am, I got a chat request from a familiar name.

And here we are.

I still think about him at least a couple times a day, but it's fleeting. Like looking back at an old flame, like I said before.

I learned that situationship breakups hurt worse than relationship breakups do, because you weren't able to see the bad side of it yet.

But oh, me.

Boys, boys, boys.

Y'all drive me fuckin' crazy.

So, here's to you, J.

[voidami]

Palestine History and resources.

I didn't add absolutely everything I could have because it would of been too much, just a generalization and resources to help anyone needing to learn or give resources to. feel free to discus, critique or add anything you find relevant.

Prior to the 19th century the region of Palestine experienced 401 years of relative peace from 1517-1917. And everything prior to that is largely irrelevant to the modern issue.

Late 19th Century:

In the 1880s, the community of Palestinian Jews, known as the Yishuv, amounted to three percent of the total population. In contrast to the Zionist Jews who would arrive in Palestine later, the original Yishuv did not aspire to build a modern Jewish state in Palestine.

From 1882 onward, thousands of Eastern European and Russian Jews began settling in Palestine; pushed by the anti-Semitic persecution and pogroms they were facing in the Russian Empire, and the appeal of Zionism.

After the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire (1517-1914), the British occupied Palestine as part of the secret Sykes-Picot treaty of 1916 between Britain and France to divvy up the Middle East for imperial interests.

1895-onward- Theodor Herzl: Herzl, an Austrian journalist, is considered the father of modern Zionism. He advocated for the establishment of a Jewish homeland in Argentina, Uganda or ultimately Palestine, with what he called transfer (ethnic displacement). On the surface he was doing this to address rising anti-Semitism in Europe but with further reading of his intentions it was more a selfish power grab through a colonial settler project with little concern for "the Jewish question" other than what it could do for him. E.G." I could accept a mass request from the little Jews to lead them out only if all the governments concerned asked me to, promised me their sympathetic cooperation, and gave me guarantees for the peaceful completion of the enormous task, just as I would give them guarantees for an exodus without economic ill-effects. (I don’t know whether I should have this printed in Roman type)." -One such example among many.

In his Diary everything is painted out in detail of his attempts to get huge loans and what he plans to do with the power he gains.

Theodor Herzl, wrote: "We shall try to spirit the penniless population across the border by procuring employment for it in the transit countries, while denying it any employment in our own country. The property-owners will come over to our side. Both the process of expropriation and the removal of the poor must be carried out discreetly and circumspectly. June 12th 1895 Diary Entry"

Herzl was suggesting that two possible Zionist solutions to the problem of a Palestinian majority living in Palestine — separation and transfer — were not necessarily alternatives but rather could be mutually reinforcing. Not only that: he believed, if they were used together, the process of ethnic cleansing could be made to appear voluntary, the choice of the victims. It may be that this was both his most enduring legacy and his major innovation to settler colonialism.

The Complete Diaries Of Theodor Herzl - https://archive.org/stream/TheCompleteDiariesOfTheodorHerzl_201606/TheCompleteDiariesOfTheodorHerzlEngVolume1_OCR_djvu.txt

Early 20th Century: Balfour Declaration (1917): Written in 1917 by then UK foreign secretary, Lord Arthur Balfour, the Declaration signed away the land of Palestine to the Zionist colonial project. By giving their support to Zionist goals in Palestine, the British hoped they could shore up support among the significant Jewish populations in the US and Russia for the Allied effort during WWI. They also believed the Balfour Declaration would secure their control over Palestine after the war.

Between 1922 and 1935, the Jewish population rose from nine percent to nearly 27 percent of the total population, displacing tens of thousands of Palestinian tenants from their lands as Zionists bought land from absentee landlords. Leading Arab and Palestinian intellectuals openly warned against the motifs of the Zionist movement in the press as early as 1908. With the Nazi seizure of power in Germany between 1933 and 1936, 30,000 to 60,000 European Jews arrived on the shores of Palestine.

In 1936, Palestinian Arabs launched a large-scale uprising against the British and their support for Zionist settler-colonialism, known as the Arab Revolt. The British authorities crushed the revolt, which lasted until 1939, violently; they destroyed at least 2,000 Palestinian homes, put 9,000 Palestinians in concentration camps and subjected them to violent interrogation, including torture, and deported 200 Palestinian nationalist leaders. In 1944, several Zionist armed groups declared war on Britain for trying to put limits on Jewish immigration to Palestine at a time when Jews were fleeing the Holocaust. The Zionist paramilitary organizations launched a number of attacks against the British – the most notable of which was the King David Hotel bombing in 1946 where the British administrative headquarters were housed; 91 people were killed in the attack.

In early 1947, the British government announced it would be handing over the disaster it had created in Palestine to the United Nations and ending its colonial project there. On November 29, 1947, the UN adopted Resolution 181, recommending the partition of Palestine into Jewish and Arab states.

Quotes: Before May 15, some of the most infamous massacres had already been committed; the Baldat al-Sheikh massacre on December 31, 1947, killing up to 70 Palestinians; the Sa’sa’ massacre on February 14, 1948, when 16 houses were blown up and 60 people lost their lives; and the Deir Yassin massacre on April 9, 1948, when about 110 Palestinian men, women and children were slaughtered.

August 1937, "transfer" was a major subject of discussion at the Twentieth Zionist Congress in Zurich, Switzerland. Alluding to the systematic dispossession of Palestinian peasants (fellahin) that Zionist organizations had been engaged in for years, David Ben-Gurion, who would become Israel's first prime minister in 1948, stated: " You are no doubt aware of the [Jewish National Fund's] activity in this respect. Now a transfer of a completely different scope will have to be carried out. In many parts of the country new settlement will not be possible without transferring the Arab fellahin." He concluded: "Jewish power [in Palestine], which grows steadily, will also increase our possibilities to carry out this transfer on a large scale."

In June 1938, Ben-Gurion told a meeting of the Jewish Agency: "I support compulsory transfer. I don't see anything immoral in it."

In December 1940, Joseph Weitz, director of the Jewish National Fund's Lands Department, which was tasked with acquiring land for the Zionist enterprise in Palestine, wrote in his diary: There is no way besides transferring the Arabs from here to the neighboring countries, and to transfer all of them, save perhaps for [the Arabs of] Bethlehem, Nazareth and Old Jerusalem. Not one village must be left, not one [bedouin] tribe. And only after this transfer will the country be able to absorb millions of our brothers and the Jewish problem will cease to exist. There is no other solution.

1948 Arab-Israeli War (Plan Dalet & Nakba (Catastrophe) ):Creation of Israel: Israel declared independence, leading to a war with surrounding Arab states. Hundreds of thousands of Palestinians were expelled, leading to mass displacement and refugee crisis.

Details of Plan Dalet On March 10, 1948, Zionist political and military leaders, including Ben-Gurion, met in Tel Aviv and formally adopted Plan Dalet (or Plan D). The operational military orders specified which Palestinian population centers should be targeted and laid out in detail a blueprint for their forcible depopulation and destruction. It called for: Mounting operations against enemy population centers located inside or near our defensive system in order to prevent them from being used as bases by an active armed force. These operations can be divided into the following categories: Destruction of villages (setting fire to, blowing up, and planting mines in the debris), especially those population centers which are difficult to control continuously Mounting search and control operations according to the following guidelines: encirclement of the village and conducting a search inside it. In the event of resistance, the armed force must be destroyed and the population must be expelled outside the borders of the state. The Haganah (soon to be Israeli army) launched military operations under Plan Dalet at the beginning of April 1948. Although attacks by Zionist forces against Palestinian population centers actually began a few days after the UN Partition Plan was passed on November 29, 1947, with the adoption of Plan Dalet expulsions accelerated and became systematic, marking a new phase in the conflict in which Zionist and then Israeli forces went on "the offensive," in the words of Israeli historian Benny Morris. Following Israel's establishment on May 14, 1948, the new Israeli government set up an unofficial body, the "Transfer Committee," to oversee the destruction of Palestinian towns and villages or their re-population with Jews, and to prevent displaced Palestinians from returning to their homes. In a report presented to Ben-Gurion in June 1948, the three-man committee, which included the JNF's Weitz, called for the "destruction of villages as much as possible during military operations."

Further reading: https://imeu.org/article/plan-dalet

Results-

By the time the state of Israel was declared on May 14, 1948, more than 200 Palestinian villages had already been emptied as people fled in fear or were forcibly expelled by Zionist forces, and approximately 175,000 Palestinians had been made refugees. By 1949, at least 750,000 Palestinians had been made refugees, losing their land, homes and other belongings in what became known as the "Nakba" ("catastrophe"). Their flight was accelerated by massacres such as the one that took place on April 9, 1948, at Deir Yassin near Jerusalem, where approximately 100 Palestinian men, women, and children were murdered by Zionist paramilitaries. Today, refugees displaced during Israel's creation and their descendants number approximately 7.1 million people. Some 400 Palestinian towns and villages, including vibrant urban centers, were systematically destroyed or taken over by Israeli. Most of them were demolished to prevent the return of their Palestinian residents, now refugees outside of what would become Israel's internationally recognized borders, or internally displaced inside of them.

Further reading: https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2017/5/23/the-nakba-did-not-start-or-end-in-1948 https://www.aljazeera.com/program/featured-documentaries/2013/5/29/al-nakba/ https://imeu.org/article/the-nakba-and-palestine-refugees-imeu-questions-and-answers https://www.vox.com/videos/2023/5/15/23723947/palestine-nakba-may-15-protests-israel

Post-1948 Period:

Quotes:

“If I were an Arab leader, I would never sign an agreement with Israel. It is normal; we have taken their country. It is true God promised it to us, but how could that interest them? Our God is not theirs. There has been Anti-Semitism, the Nazis, Hitler, Auschwitz, but was that their fault? They see but one thing: we have come and we have stolen their country. Why would they accept that?” David Ben-Gurion (the first Israeli Prime Minister): Quoted by Nahum Goldmann in Le Paraddoxe Juif (The Jewish Paradox), pp99

1967- Israel occupied the West Bank, Gaza Strip, East Jerusalem, and Golan Heights after the 1967 Six-Day War. Jewish settlements were established in these territories, leading to ongoing tensions and disputes.

1973- Yom Kippur War

1987- Hamas formed.

Peace Process and Oslo Accords (1990s):Peace Attempts: Several peace negotiations took place between Israel and Palestine, leading to the Oslo Accords in 1993, which established limited Palestinian self-rule in parts of the West Bank and Gaza Strip.

Early 21st Century: Second Intifada (2000-2005): A period of intensified Israeli-Palestinian violence and unrest, leading to significant loss of life on both sides.

In 2004, Giaora Eiland, who still is, incidentally, in the inner circle of Benjamin Netanyahu right now as I speak. He described Gaza as, quote, ���a huge concentration camp.” That's Gaza.

September 2005- Israel completed implementation of its Disengagement Plan from the Gaza Strip, which included dismantling all the settlements there, evacuating the settlers to Israel and withdrawing the military. After the plan was fully implemented, Israel issued an order declaring the end of its military rule in the Gaza Strip, indicating it was no longer responsible for the safety and well-being of the population in Gaza. But the territory remained under blockade, leading to economic hardship and conflict.

2006-

Here was an election in the West Bank in Gaza, parliamentary elections. Those elections were urged on the Palestinian people by the US administration was that now forgotten moment in the Bush administration called “democracy promotion.” And part of this package called “democracy promotion” was the Palestinians were supposed to participate in those wonderful democratic experiences. And Hamas was urged to participate in those elections, and it reversed itself. Hitherto, it opposed participating in any elections in the occupied territories, because those elections were a consequence of the Oslo Accord. And since Hamas opposed the Oslo Accord, it opposed participating in the elections. But it reversed itself. It ran in a civilian political party. And, much to the surprise of Hamas and everybody else, it won the election. Those were, according to former US President Jimmy Carter, “completely fair and honest elections,” and Hamas won. What did the US and Israel do? It immediately imposed a brutal blockade on Gaza, which brought economic life in Gaza to a standstill. - Norman Finkelstein

*When Hamas was elected, it repeatedly sent out peace feelers to try and resolve the conflict with Israel. It presented on its own, or as speaking for itself, the terms of the international consensus for resolving a conflict, namely two states on the June 1967 border.

June 2007- After Hamas seized control of the Gaza Strip, Israel further tightened its control of the crossings and rarely allowed Palestinians to enter or leave Gaza, or to import or export goods. Three months after the Hamas takeover, in response to the continued firing of Qassam rockets at Israel, Israel’s security cabinet declared the Gaza Strip a hostile entity and adopted collective punitive measures, including cutting back electricity and fuel supply to Gaza

2008-

June 2008 there was a ceasefire arranged between Israel and Hamas. The ceasefire held, it held in June, it held in July, it held in August, it held in September, it held in October, and it held the first four days in November. And then November 4th came along, that was election day. when everybody's attention was riveted on the presidential election and the first black president being elected in our country's history. And Israel used that moment -- when all the cameras were diverted from it -- it used that moment to attack Hamas in Gaza and broke the ceasefire. Go and read what Amnesty International said.

Operation Cast Lead- Dec 27, 2008 – Jan 18, 2009 https://imeu.org/article/operation-cast-lead

2012-

Operation Pillar of Defense- Nov 13, 2012 – Nov 21, 2012

After Operation Cast Lead, there was a slight relaxing of the brutal blockade of Gaza. The Gaza economy did show some signs of recovery. And there was also money starting to pour in from Qatar. The head of state of Turkey, Erdoğan, was planning on a visit to Gaza. And this annoyed Israel because Gaza was not supposed to prosper. So what did they do? The record is clear. They assassinated a senior Hamas official Ahmad Jabari and six others. Shortly afterwards, Israel pounded the Gaza Strip with another 20 air strikes, killing five more people, two of them children, Hamas health minister Mufid Mukhalalati said in a televised press conference at Gaza City’s Shifa hospital.

2014-

Operation Protective Edge-

2,200 Palestinians killed, of whom 550 were children. They demolished 18,000 homes.

2018- Gaza March to return Massacre May 14th

On May 14th 2018 The Palestinian people of Gaza were in continuing peaceful marches Up to the walls imprisoning them with hopes that the apartheid regime of Israel would have some humanity and hear their plea with a right to return, to be given basic human rights as they had been doing since March 30th 2018. Instead of being shown humanity IDF soldiers began an especially discriminatory attack on the peaceful protestors. The causalities for that day alone stood at 2700 injured, including 1,359 from live ammunition and 235 Children. The dead included six children under the age of 18, among them a 15-year-old girl, and a medic and at least 52 adults. The toll increased exponentially through the course of the multiple week protest with numbers in 12,000 plus victims range 1000 of which children and hundreds of medics and journalists in appropriate identifying garb.

Many IDF soldiers have gone on record to brag about their statistics in competition with each other It is callous and bitter but I'll provide a link to some accounts of this .

Further, Shireen Abu Akleh an American-Palestinian journalist was wearing full reporter protective gear and was intentionally sniped in the neck killing her, they then lied about it and admitted to it a significant amount of time later. At her funeral the procession was subject to pogroms by Israeli police not even giving her peace in death.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/middle_east/gaza-protests-take-off-ahead-of-new-us-embassy-inauguration-in-jerusalem/2018/05/14/eb6396ae-56e4-11e8-9889-07bcc1327f4b_story.html

https://www.unrwa.org/campaign/gaza-great-march-returnhttps://www.aljazeera.com/news/2018/5/16/palestinians-great-march-of-return-the-human-costhttps://www.newarab.com/news/israeli-snipers-brag-about-deliberately-crippling-gaza-protestershttps://www.cnn.com/2022/09/05/middleeast/idf-shireen-abu-akleh-investigation-intl/index.htmlhttps://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/5/14/israeli-police-attack-on-shireen-abu-akleh-mourners-sparks-outcry

Recent Events:

The amount of atrocities are too numerous to list them all here but i would like to list some from September of 2023 at least.

September 2023-

September 5th- Israeli forces killed two Palestinians, including one child, in two operations that involved the exchange of fire in Tulkarm and Jericho. September 9th-Israeli forces killed a Palestinian child in Hebron. September 13th- Five Palestinian were killed in the Gaza Strip as an explosive device went off near Israel’s perimeter fence. On 16 and 17 September, large groups of Israelis, including settlers, entered the Old City of Jerusalem during the Jewish New Year. Israeli authorities deployed police officers and restricted Palestinian movement in and out of the Old City, during which they physically assaulted and injured an elderly Palestinian man and arrested at least two others. On 17 September, Israeli forces restricted Palestinian access to the Al Aqsa Mosque in the Old City of Jerusalem, allowing entry only to those over the age of 50 for the dawn prayers. That morning, about 400 Israelis, including settlers, accessed the compound accompanied by Israeli police, who evacuated Palestinian worshipers to secure the entry of Israelis. On 16 September, settlers stabbed a Palestinian man in the back and threw stones and bottles at Palestinian houses in Tel Rumeida neighborhood of Hebron city, in the Israeli-controlled H2 area.

Prior to October for 2023 Israeli forces killed 181 Palestinians in the West Bank or Israel, exceeding the yearly death toll by Israeli forces in the West Bank since 2005. During the reporting period in September, 173 Palestinians, including at least 58 children, were injured by Israeli forces across the West Bank, including 11 who were hit by live ammunition. Since the beginning of the year, 769 Palestinians have been injured by live ammunition by Israeli forces in the West Bank, nearing the double of the number in the equivalent period in 2022 (460). Over 1,100 Palestinian herders from 28 communities have been displaced since 2022, citing settler violence and shrinking access to grazing land.

More here: https://www.ochaopt.org/poc/5-18-september-2023

October 2023-

October 1st- injury of several Palestinians in a number of attacks by Israeli occupation forces and settlers across the occupied West Bank.

October 4th- Israeli troops killed three Palestinian in West Bank. One of which the IDF said it opened fire at a man who threw a block at an Israeli vehicle. Palestinian health officials said a 19 year old Palestinian man was shot in the chest and killed. The army said Israeli settlers also vandalized Palestinian property. No further details were immediately released. October 5th- Israeli forces killed two Palestinians and wounded dozens more while suffering five injuries as they raided several areas in the occupied West Bank October 6th- Labib Dumaidi, 19, was shot in the heart by an Israeli settler in west bank. October 7th- Hamas launches an attack 1,400 Israelis were killed in the assault, and more than 240 were taken hostage. Israel's immediate response before even tending to the attack is to start bombing Gaza indiscriminately. Multiple survivors and hostage testimony tell Israeli solders opened fire on Israeli citizens and Hamas in hannibal directive. Israel claims 40 babies beheaded and the claim gets parroted all the way up to the president of the united states without a substantiated evidence, another addition in an ocean of lies. Due to the fog of war I'm only writing about statistics here on out.

After math.

Week one- 7,473 U.S. bombs were dropped on Afghanistan in 2019. 6,000 Israeli bombs have been dropped on Gaza in 6 days. 2,383 Palestinians killed half children 9,714 wounded, while in the West Bank, 54 were recorded dead and 1,100 wounded 1.1 Million Displaced.

One Month-

10,000 Palestinians killed 70% children. 25,000 injuries. 1.5 Million Displaced.

War Crimes- Numerous including Genocide, collective punishment, Use of white phosphorus during the offensive and many more…

The UN Genocide Convention lists five acts that fall under the definition of Genocide. Israel is currently perpetrating three of these in Gaza: “1. Killing members of the group. 2. Causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group. 3. Deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated with intent to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part.”

Recent Quotes-

Israeli Minister of Defense Yoav “We are imposing a complete siege on Gaza. No electricity, no food, no water, no fuel. Everything is closed. We are fighting human animals, and we will act accordingly.” Isaac Herzog - "It is an entire nation out there that is responsible. This rhetoric about civilians supposedly not being involved is absolutely untrue" Benjamin Natanyahu - "We will turn Gaza into an island of ruins." Daniel Hagari - "We are dropping hundreds of tons of bombs on Gaza. The focus is on destruction, not accuracy." Ariel Kallner - "Now there is only one goal: Nakba. A Nakba in Gaza that will dwarf the Nakba of 1948." Benjamin Nantanyahu - “They are committed to completely eliminating this evil from the world,” Netanyahu said in Hebrew. He then added: “You must remember what Amalek has done to you, says our Holy Bible. And we do remember.” In the Hebrew Bible, particularly in the Book of 1 Samuel, there is a command attributed to God that King Saul is supposed to destroy the Amalekites entirely, sparing nothing and no one. The exact verse, from 1 Samuel 15:3 (New International Version), states:

"Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys."

This command, often referred to as the "ban" or "herem" in biblical studies, was a severe form of religious sanction where everything associated with the enemy was devoted to destruction.

Further reading:

The Gun And The Olive Branch- David Hirst https://archive.org/stream/in.ernet.dli.2015.131536/2015.131536.The-Gun-And-The-Olive-Branch_djvu.txt The Question of Palestine-Edward Said https://archive.org/details/questionofpalest0000said Ten Myths About Israel By Ilan Pappe https://archive.org/details/ten-myths-about-israel-by-ilan-pappe-2017

Documentaries, Films, and Video Essays:

Jenin, Jenin (2002) https://vimeo.com/499672067 Born in Gaza https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZpp8JLkwBw Edward Said - Reflections on Exile and Other Essays https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EvoZ7vgu0A Norman Finkelstein on Israel's BRUTAL Assault On Gaza https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m36CUGA1Ucw&list=PLG9vw8QqgiV86CdFlCcHiSmfKwDytOATJ&index=10 Jews Against Zionism: Rabbi Speaking the Truth About Palestine & Israel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSEtuckDbpk&list=PLG9vw8QqgiV86CdFlCcHiSmfKwDytOATJ&index=16 Norman Finkelstein RESPONDS to Bernie Sanders statement OPPOSING GAZA CEASEFIRE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R49v3K29mM&list=FLUORSml2RTXRf2S9zsXpbOw

[uberchargemako]

commission info in case [ weebly ] doesn't work

terms of service below the cut:

TERMS OF SERVICE (updated 09/05/2023)

Thank you for your interest in commissioning me! If what you want to know isn't answered here, email me (djsckatzen@gmail.com). I post commission openings on Tumblr and Twitter. Accepting and paying for the invoice I send you means you are also agreeing to the following terms. I do not take unpaid jobs or offers.

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PROCESS

Email me to request a quote. Have your reference(s) ready. I can work off of images or text, but I recommend supplementing text reference with relevant images. Not having a full visual reference of your character will incur a design fee, and we can collaborate on your character's design together.

I will send you a PayPal invoice. Upfront payment in full is required before I start working on your order.

If you are ordering a fully coloured drawing, I will send you the sketch to review. This is when you can ask for minor or major edits at no extra cost.

I will finish the drawing and send over the finished product (your order, the commissioned piece). This is when you can ask for minor edits at no extra cost.

YOU RECEIVE (if applicable and requested):

final uncropped piece at full resolution in .png format

flat coloured piece (no shading) in .png format

transparent piece (no background) in .png format

textless version of piece in .png format

resized versions (e.g., for Twitch emote sizes) in .png format

illustration: .clip file of piece and/or .psd file of post-processing edits

graphic design: .psd file of piece

PAYMENT:

I use PayPal invoices for payment and charge in USD.

​I will start working on your piece once the invoice is paid.

You may cancel your commission to receive a full refund if I have not started work on your piece yet.

​You may receive a partial refund, amount determined by myself, otherwise.

After your payment is received, your invoice will be marked as a processed order (you'll receive an email from PayPal for this that you do not need to interact with).

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YOU MAY:

request a reasonable deadline for your piece (default ETA is 1 month for 1 character and I will contact you if there are any issues)

ask for updates on your piece

request changes to your piece with the understanding that asking for major changes may incur an extra fee

request that I do not stream your piece (I work on art, including commissions, live on twitch.tv)

request a private order (e.g., not having me post the piece online, keeping you anonymous in the art post)

request that I delete the public art post(s) of your piece anywhere it has been published online

recolour and edit the final piece within reason

repost (redistribute) the final piece with credit to myself as the artist

use the final piece for personal use (e.g., as an icon, header)

cancel your commission at any time prior to completion, for which you can receive a full refund only if I have not started working on your piece (you may receive a partial refund, amount determined by myself, otherwise)

YOU MAY NOT:

claim my art as anyone's work but mine

sell or redistribute my artwork for financial or business purposes unless we have a prior agreement

use my art commercially in any way unless we have a prior agreement

use my artwork in anything related to cryptocurrency or NFTs

sample my artwork for AI processes

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AS THE ARTIST, I:

reserve the right to decline your commission for any reason(s) whatsoever with or without specifying the reason(s)

reserve the right to cancel your commission with refund for any reason(s) with or without specifying the reason(s)

reserve the right to post (distribute), edit, and use the final piece and its in-progress versions (e.g., posting the piece to my social media) if we have not made an agreement on the piece's privacy

may decide not to post your commission online for any reason​

retain the rights to my artwork, including in-progress work

YOU UNDERSTAND:

my art style is always evolving, and my pieces will not always be in the exact same style (e.g., colouring, lineart)

my prices are guidelines, generally starting points, and your quote will change based on complexity of your piece

NSFW commissions are available for 18+ clients only

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will draw:

anthropomorphic and feral furries

humans and humanoid characters

MLP ponies

Pokémon

monsters

fanart

my own OCs

canon x canon shipping

OC x canon shipping

suggestive content

gore and graphic violence

NSFW sexual content

will not draw:​

NSFW or suggestive art of minors

NSFW feral or bestiality

heavy mecha or robot elements

bigoted themes

some fetishes (email me if unsure)

[husbandohunter]

May I request a Childe X Reader fanfic where the reader has been pushing herself too hard lately and so Childe has to forcefully get her to rest? ty

By my side [Childe x Reader]//Genshin Impact

Synopsis: You were an artist and he was an adventurer. Two people from vast backgrounds and Childe just wants to spend some time of his busy life with you. However, things didn't really go his way...at first.

(Childe x F!reader. Its all fluff)

(A/n): Perfect request anon. I too, would like to have a Childe in my life. Been getting 5-6 hours of sleep on average 😃😁. Yeah kind tossed some extra ideas with artist s/o, its a perfect reason for anyone to be busy.

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Once recieving the permission to take a week off from his diplomatic duties, the first thing Childe thought of was none other than his lovely significant other.

The harbinger knew quite well what lays ahead of his ventures to Liyue. During his quest for the archon's gnosis, he encountered many interesting events, such as meeting the rumoured traveller hailing from afar and a broke yet courteous man who turned out to be the ultimate ruler of this very country he walks upon then there was the battle against a dead god until he revived it using the sigil of permission. All of them were great additions to his story as Ajax the hero, something he always wanted to pursue since childhood. In which, also gave him something nice to write about when preparing letters for his siblings living back home. But little did the harbinger know that he'll one day bump into the heroine. A little too soon. Through your little art shop, he met you, a sweet and audacious woman with plenty of humour. That was how it all began.

While he strides down the streets between Liyue's exquisite buildings, Childe suddenly stops in his tracks and looks up to the sky. There, was painted a scenery of an evening dusk, sun rays relfected across until red and orange hues cast a river stream that led to the ends of the world. He watched the birds follow that streak like it was a path made for them to fly towards. A new adventure. You would have loved to captured this in your pictures.

And then he wonders, what might you be painting right now?

"Hey babe, I'm home~"

In a sing-song voice he calls out to you by your nick-name. You knew that Childe was an active member of the Fatui and that his time was limited, hence he made sure to write to you as well. Of course long distant relationships only makes the waiting more anticipated. When he does pay a visit, you'd run straight into his open arms, leaping off your feet to engulf him in one enourmous embrace. Then his hands will hold against your waist as he spins your round and around in the air, stealing the laughter out of your lungs before planting you back on the floor. Sometimes Childe would consider that being far away wasn't be such a bad idea as long as he was able to experience this, the harder the battle, the sweeter the victory. However...

"That's great."

He was met by a response similar to the wintry grace of Snezhnaya.

Huh?

All the fantasies he had from earlier shatters in the background as he stands there frozen. You didn't even spare a glance to the entrance, eyes still glued to the large canvas displayed at your front, too busy to even care. Childe clicks his tongue between the awkward silence with an uncertain expression. When there was no signs of initiation on your part, he shuffled his way to where you were and observes from behind.

"Well you're particularly quiet today," he muses to himself, placing a hand over his hip, "I guess that painting of yours must be really important then."

It was obvious that he was trying to nudge you into his favour. Something that you've found endearing was how quickly your boyfriend can be when he's in a needy state. So you quickly twisted over to peck him on the cheek before going back to work.

"That's better," Childe satisfiedly grins, "So who is this project for?"

"It's a commission requested by a wealthy family serving the Qixing. They're really influential in terms of the market and can really give me a competitive edge. I have to get it done in five days."

His tone flactuates as he squints his eyes, "Five days you say," he disliked the news of your schedule taking over his own, Childe only managed to take a week off and after that, he'll be away for quite some time, "Why don't you take a break? From the looks of your progress, it seems to me that you've been working on it for hours. I've got plenty of interesting stories to tell and you know, nothing can compare to sharing a warm meal within your company," he leans down to your ear level, "How does that sound?"

Several seconds went by as he waits for some sort of reaction, "Oh. Right," you blurted out and the harbinger only smiles, "I made some food earlier this morning. You can go help yourself if you're hungry."

Today was not his day.

Childe pulls out the wooden chair and slumps into the seat, a defeated huff escaping his mouth as he stared at the crystal shrimp placed on the table. It was hastily wrapped by plastic, most likely cold for a while, just like the romantic evening he had planned in his head. Normally you'll be sitting on the otherside while listening to the many tales he went through along the way. Although painting was your passion, it was undeniable that you also enjoyed his kind of lifestyle if you ever had the choice. He was rather surprised on how someone ambitious like him would end up with such a simplistic person but quickly accepted it as life was meant to be unpredictable, just the way he likes it. As Childe entertains you with his stories, he'll listen to your giggles amidst eating the homecooked meals that you both prepared together.

"I wonder if she ate already," he mumbled to his lone self. You most likely did but Childe knows you well. Artists are obsessed and they can go as far as to neglecting their own health for the sake of their masterpieces. Hence, he made sure to remind you to eat properly through the letters he wrote to you.

The harbinger takes a quick glance around the kitchen. It was a mess. The cupboards were slightly opened, metal pots were still displayed on the stone stove and the stench coming from the sink....

Childe pushes himsel up to see what was the cause.

Not even the dishes were washed.

Running his fingers through his bangs, he sighs wearily, "Old habits die hard huh?" And above all else, when artists are obsessed they also forget how disorganized they can become. Childe begins to roll up his sleeves before taking off his gloves. At times like this he'll have to pitch in and take care of it for you, "Looks like I'll be here for a while."

Throughout three sunsets and three moonrises, Childe had no option but to observe you from afar, minus the few attempts he made to regain your attention again. How you would go to bed much later than him, waking up before he opens his eyes and the effort he put into making your food only left with too many leftovers. It wasn't that you were unappreciative, instead, your mind had become too focused that your body was considered a second priority. Like anyone else, Childe genuinely thought you possessed great talent and supports you wholeheartedly. He loved it when you painted pictures just for him as if they were scenes coming out of his hero story, reminded by his adventures, capturing every detail. However he also needed to learn how to deal with this stubborn side of yours.

"Hey babe, I just finished preparing our dinner. Don't you smell that? Such a rich aroma, you should go eat."

"I'm busy."

Your diet were just small bites, the rest being substituted by coffee. Childe could clearly tell that you weren't getting enough sleep either as there were dark circles forming underneath your eyes and slowly, he was starting to become a little irritated.

Three hours passed midnight but you were still awake in the same place doing the same thing. Childe leans against the doorframe with arms folded, already changed into his sleeping clothes. He clears his throat to break the silence, "Ahem."

Your wrist hangs in mid air by the sound of a strange visitor, it was your boyfriend. Gaze in a daze, you lazily turned your head, "What time is it?"

"Way passed the sleeping hours as you can see," he points with his thumb at the table clock in a half-hearted manner, "You should already be in bed by now and don't think you can coax yourself out of the situation this time," his eyes parted in slits as he added with a smile, "Otherwise I might just have to force you myself."

You shook your head, "Give me one more hour? There's some finishing touches I really want to add so," clasping your hands together, you beamed sweetly, "Pretty please? I'll finish up soon."

"Oh really?" Childe challenges, head tossed back like he was interrogating you instead, "I believe that was also what you told me yesterday. And the day before? Adding up all of those days that would be.....four in total?" He deliberately counts upon his fingers before facing you again, this time his expression was slightly more serious, "As much as I find your determination remarkable, there are moments when you need to consider a sufficient amount of rest and this just isn't going to cut it."

"Four days already?!" You exclaimed, "Jeez, I don't even know if I'm halfway done."

Pressing his lips together, Childe glares in an acutely deadpanned countenance, it was also his time too, "Can't you ask this commissioner to extend your due date to next week? In your case, mora shouldn't be the issue since, well...you're dating me anyways."

It's true. Childe was the main reason why you didn't have to live as a starving artist. He had all your expenses fully covered from the marketing aspect to your residence, you simply chose to work out of pure will.

"I don't want to always rely on you so much," you confessed, "This commissioner could turn my whole career around. If I'm able to gain his favour, maybe I'll get promoted to a court painter for the Qixing! Who knows when there will ever be a chance like this again," pumping your fists, you spoke purposefully, "I'll pull an all nighters if I have to!"

Childe brings his hand to his forehead, you looked as if you were nearly about to collapse and yet still considering the option of an all-nighters? The harbinger should've detained you days prior before.

"Hm? Childe, what's wrong?" He suddenly falls deadly quiet and you watched him walk closer towards you, "What are--"

Hooking an arm behind your knees and the other at your back, your boyfriend lifts you up in one full swoop as he tossed you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Guess we'll have to do things the hard way," he remarks cheerfully.

"W-Wait," you flailed your arms and kicked your legs but to no avail. Childe was an experienced combatant indeed, "Put me down! I have work to do."

Your protests fall upon deaf ears as the harbinger carries you to your room. You were oddly lighter than the last time he carried you, the strength less vigor than before, it was obvious that your body was in need of relaxation. He suddenly thinks there was a possibility that you would maintain this habit while he was absent.

I should probably visit more often.

Using his free leg to nudge the door open, he places you upon the shared bed in a gentle manner. You winced at the impact of the soft sheets, surprised by how much it affect you.

"There we go. All done. Man, you really are a stubborn one, aren't you. Makes me a little worried since I can't spoil you all the time."

He quickly invited himself to the empty space on your bedside and wrapped his arms around your figure, pulling you close and feeling you whole. Childe made sure there was no escape once putting his chin above your hairline so that you could feel his warmth as much as possible.

"This is--" you stuttered. His tactic was enough to make your limbs soften and you could almost hear him smirk into the distance, "This is cheating..."

"You think so?" He comments as if pledging innocence, "I don't know babe. Where I come from those who take the initiative are the ones who end up claiming the prize," pulling back, Childe takes the opportunity to observe your pouty face, "I don't make the rules. It's just how it goes."

You wanted to argue back but he suddenly took the bedsheets and covered both of your bodies with, completely trapping you with his presence. He snuggles into you further as if you were a bear made of linen and you felt the drowsiness taking over your mind. The way he gently pats down the back of your head was enough to instantly lull you into a deep sleep.

"Cheater," you mumbled.

He laughs softly, the rumbles emitting through his chest, "I love you too babe."

Even after you've let go of your resistance, Childe continues his actions until he was sure that you were resting. He had been longing to touch you like this since living a chaotic life only made peaceful moments much sweeter, "You're such a hard-worker you know that? I'm proud of you but you have to know when to call it a day," he whispers, "If not, how can I go on trips while knowing that you're still refusing to eat properly?"

You closed your eyes and said nothing in return. All your senses were too cloudy to come up with a reassuring response. Childe listens to the way your breath evens as you intake his scent during the process. It smelled like the soap you used in the showers, lotus leaves mixed with his own unique musk. You could only focus on him. His comforting embrace. His slightly accelerating heartbeat because you were together with him.

Letting out one final yawn, you succumbed to his spell and allowed your energy to drift away.

The corners of his lips tug upwards, "Sleep well princess."

Childe reaches over to your desk drawer and shuts off the alarm clock before turning over to face you again. He couldn't fall asleep immediately, not when he had to consider taking care of the commissioner who gave you an impossible deadline. But that will be saved for another day, for now, he observes in silent serenity.

If he were to quit his job for a year, what would his life be like?

Peaceful. Something opposite of what he was living right now. Something similar to the life he had back home. As you arrange the many paintings in your little home, he'll offer to help you among the places you couldn't reach. Without a doubt, Childe was far taller in comparison. Taking strolls into the streets and trying the new dishes the merchants came up with. Then in the evenings, you'll both go to dinner dates while listening to the storyteller revealing the rumours of the legendary Tianquan Qixing. Although Childe loved the adventurous life he led, he had to admit that your domesticity and family-bringing atmosphere was a tempting idea.

Maybe one day.

He lightly takes a strand that had fallen over your nose and tucked it smoothly behind your ear. The soft snores coming out of your parted lips caused his gaze to melt. And so he steals them with his own, placing a chaste goodnight kiss.

One day I'll be sure to bring my family here with us.

Closing his eyes, he joins you in your slumber, hoping to see all that he envisioned in his dreams.

[yandere-sins]

Hello! How are you? May I pls request the prompts scratches and collar for Sakusa Kiyoomi for the yandere writing challenge thingy? I hope this is alright! Thank you <3

Thanks for requesting!! Sakusa is one of my favorites actually, so I am really excited to write for him! uwu Please enjoy!

Scratches - “Try that again sweetheart, I dare you.” (I don’t want to overlap prompts too much, so I am doing just this one!)

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Living with Kiyoomi had never been easy.

When you two got married, you’d been quite intimidated by him after your husband wouldn’t look at you even once the whole day. You thought to yourself about how much he must have hated you, considering he only agreed because you two had been promised since your childhood. This marriage didn’t seem like something he was interested in, and the moment you were ‘unloaded’ at his home, you felt like the strangest organism in the whole world.

Nonetheless, you tried to be liked. If you at least couldn’t be a nuisance to him, you thought he might accept you as his partner. But all your attempts backfired gloriously. He wouldn’t eat your cooking, clean over your cleaning, ignore you after he came home from training. For the first year or so, he wouldn’t even take you to one of his matches. You were sure other spouses were allowed to go, so why not you?

But you got used to it. You had to, somehow, or else you probably would have never stopped feeling unloved and unwanted. It wasn’t what you expected, hearing about love all this time, but you didn’t have a bad life by his side, at least. His accounts were filled with money, food was delivered fresh to your doorstep every day, and though you didn’t know anyone in the city that you two settled in, you got along well enough with your neighbors, so you didn’t feel too lonely.

And what you least expected, once you accepted that you and Kiyoomi could never be an item, he started to relax too. Had you been too much? Maybe pushing him too far without realizing? Intruding on him? Or perhaps he had just been told to be nicer to you by his parents, but your surprise was great when he joined you to watch TV one evening.

Given, he didn’t speak a word and didn’t seem too interested in the show you were watching. There also were about two seats free between you, but it was a start. And gradually, your relationship improved.

»»———————— ♡

Nervously, you looked at your outfit, wondering if it was too much. Kiyoomi had never asked you to dress up to accompany him before, scowling whenever you decided to try and impress him with your fashion sense or asked to go with him. Even now, you knew that asking you to come and meet sponsors was just a way to look good in other people’s eyes; he even had a suit delivered to him that day. It wasn’t you who was wanted. It was the image of being married to someone. But as his partner, maybe that was the only thing you could do to please your husband.

“Are you ready?” he asked through the door, not daring to step into your room. He never had entered it ever since you moved in, and you wondered if it was because he disliked you so much or because he feared you were ‘dirty’. But you gave yourself an encouraging nod in the mirror, quickly making your way out. “All done!”

You didn’t expect him to stand right in front of the closed door as you opened it, almost running into him but stopping at the last second. “Do I look fine?” you asked, noticing him appraising you over the rim of his white mask. He looked comically like that, suited up yet wearing gloves and mask as if he was going to clean, but even so, you had to give it to his looks that he was handsome. You didn’t doubt your own attractiveness, but the curt, “It’s alright,” he muttered did sting.

»»———————— ♡

Had you known how exhausting these kinds of events were, you would have almost been thankful that he never took you with him before. Giving it all you had sure was taxing when you never did it before, but you wanted oh-so-badly to be accepted by Kiyoomi’s side. You didn’t even notice your own mental exhaustion until you finally had a chance to sit down.

Alone, again.

Maybe you simply weren’t fit for this kind of life. You didn’t know much about volleyball, and there were many weird insider jokes you didn’t understand. Everyone appeared so friendly, some faces still familiar from the wedding, yet you couldn’t help but notice the pity in their eyes. They were all thinking the same thing, you were sure. Just how pitiful you were to be so unluckily married to a man who never seemed interested in what you two had.

“What’s the long face for, hm?” you suddenly heard a cheerful voice, something cold being pressed to your cheek and startling you. You looked up in confusion, only to be blinded by a warm and cheerful grin, the light of the room being reflected through a water bottle and accentuating his features even more.

“O-Oh,” you stuttered, reaching up for the drink he held out to you. “I didn’t see you coming, Atsumu-san. I’m sorry, I was in thoughts...”

“No offense, but you don’t seem to have much fun,” he sighed, plopping down next to you. “It’s such a shame Omi-Omi never shows you off, yer so cute, you know? Makes it much easier to endure parties like these!”

Laughing it off, you found yourself mesmerized by how carefree Atsumu seemed. To you, all of this was a big deal, and you had always assumed it was the same for everyone. But apparently, more people shared your sentiment of the time seemingly dragging out. Without noticing, you chuckled, and Atsumu’s eyes flitted over to you before he straightened his back briefly, crossing his legs. Smirk falling over his lips, you almost caught yourself gasping at how gorgeous he looked in the ambient lighting around you two.

“That’s much better. Ya should laugh more!”

Feeling the warmth spread through your face, you quickly cleared your throat, looking away as to not stare. For a moment there, you thought he really looked like an angel, making you feel at peace around him. “I just- You know- You call him Omi-Omi?” you changed the topic quickly, trying to hide the awestruck expression on your face by hiding behind your hand a bit.

“Huh? Oh yeah. Wouldn’t recommend it, he doesn’t really like it, but it’s fun teasing him, ya know? He gets all-” Reaching up, Atsumu pushed his brows together and put on his best impression of Kiyoomi. “‘Don’t call me that, you Idiot. Work on your serve if you have so much time.’ That’s what he says to me! I’m just trying to be friendly...”

Shaking your head slowly, you couldn’t hold back your laugh as you listened to him gush on about your husband treating him ‘unfairly’. Part of you felt sad having to hear it from a third person, never having been able to collect experiences with him yourself. Still, you were also relieved to see he wasn’t just treating you so coldly. “You’re so funny, Atsumu-san,” you chuckled, and he finally stopped talking, relaxing next to you after his tirade.

“There we go,” he mumbled, and you felt his hand fall to your head, giving it some pats. It made your heart grow to receive the affection, slowly but surely making you realize you had been missing fooling around and laughing or even being touched gently for a change. “Don’t let him get to you, ya hear me? Or I’ll come and kick his ass for you!”

“Who’s ass are you kicking?” you both were suddenly interrupted, and knowing the voice, you looked up. Shame hitting you, you stood up, Atsumu’s hand falling from you as you slipped out from under it, facing your husband cautiously. “Kiyoomi, you’re back!” you mumbled, wondering if your mood change was too noticeable. “Yeah, we’re leaving,” he announced, ready to go.

“Don’t just go around touching other people’s spouses, Atsumu,” he warned his colleague sharply, his arm coming around your back. Still, not even the tip of his glove touched you, much less gentle than Atsumu did.

“Mood-killer,” you heard Atsumu complain. “Good night, [Name]!” he called after you, and you graced him with a brief smile thrown over your shoulder, waving after him while you let yourself be led out by your husband.

»»———————— ♡

The ride home was almost as tiring as the evening itself, and the streetlights passing you as you looked out the window weren’t enough to keep you awake. It was a long drive, but the next thing you noticed was a warm body carrying you upstairs from the garage. “Bastard,” you heard a voice, slowly but surely regaining your senses.

“Kiyoomi?” you asked meekly, rubbing your eyes. Blinking a few times, when you looked up, you were met with a disgusted glare staring down at you, instantly making you shrivel into yourself. A flight instinct set in, and only now you noticed he was carrying you through the hallway of your house, not bothering being gentle with the bathroom door once he reached it.

He seemed furious and disgusted, and at least one of these were emotions you had never seen him make before. You almost expected him to drop you into the bathtub as you found yourself hovering over it, but he set you down gently. Nonetheless, the sudden stream of cold water hit you like a slap in the face as he turned on the shower without even a moment of hesitation. It grew warmer quickly, but you found yourself weirded out as your clothes began to stick to you. Kiyoomi, too, barely took off his blazer before kneeling down next to the tub, reaching for the shampoo standing close by.

It was in no way gentle or comfortable as he rubbed it onto your head, the gloves he wore not helping at all. You began to splutter as you had to close your eyes, soap going everywhere on your face. “Where else did he touch?” Kiyoomi asked, almost too calm for the fact it felt like he was trying to press the shampoo into your head rather than wash you. “No- Nowhere!” you complained, ducking out from his touch and wiping away soap from your face. “What are you doing?!”

“I don’t believe you,” was all the answer you received to your question. “Tell me. Now. Don’t make this harder for us.”

“What...” you muttered, flinching as you felt his hands fall to your body, grabbing your clothes. “What’s wrong with you!” you finally yelled, swatting his hands away harder than you wished you did. Finally, you got the time to wash off the soap and open your eyes again, feeling ill-treated and confused by his actions. Though despite the warm water, as you finally managed to look at him again, you felt your body freeze.

You thought you knew how he looked at you all this time. Disappointed, disapproving, and disgusted, but this time it was different. He looked at you as if you just ripped his heart out and claimed he was fine like that, and that hurt almost more than any look before. But in the next moment, it was gone, just like a snap of his fingers, and he grabbed your wrist, tightly and unbudging even if you complained. “Try that again, Sweetheart, I dare you.”

Blinking a few times, you couldn’t decide what was scarier; seeing him for the first time up close, face only inches from yours and without the mask, which usually gave some more distance between you two, or having him threaten you. Kiyoomi never talked more than a few words with you at a time, nor did he show any interest in anything you did. “Slap my hand away again, and I will make sure you can’t use it for a long time, you understand? Don’t you know by now who you belong to?”

His questions were so clear, yet in your head, they made no sense. Who did you belong to? Who was it?

“Y-You?” you eventually muttered. “Do I belong to you?”

A question as stupid as it sounded, and yet, it eased Kiyoomi’s rage, it seemed. “That’s right,” he confirmed. “You’re mine. You’ve been mine ever since we met for the first time, don’t ever forget that. I am the only one that is allowed to touch you and no one else. Especially no sleazy bastards like Atsumu.”

“Kiyoomi...”

“Undress,” he interrupted you. “I have to clean you.”

Hesitating, you gripped your own clothes. Never before had you heard him talk like that, especially not about you. You never even believed he could have those thoughts about you, and after being unloved for so long, they felt like bandaids to your wounds. Mind you, not strong bandaids, no. They didn’t even manage to heal you partially, but who were you to complain. Because, what Kiyoomi said...

“Okay,” you whispered, slowly stripping out of your clothes. “I’m sorry... Omi.”

You were stretching your luck, but you were so close to tears as he placed his hand on top of your head. It wasn’t like Atsumu’s. It wasn’t gentle, and it didn’t fill your core with happiness. No, it pressed you down, making you lower your head and feel so insignificant compared to its greatness. But it was Kiyoomi’s. The person you wanted to be loved and caressed by the most.

“It’s okay,” he sighed, and for once, his voice sounded almost gentle and forgiving after you did something. His hand stayed as his free one helped you get out of your clothes, and laying your own hand on top of his, you felt his warmth for the first time, no glove separating you two.

And to this day, you still remember wondering if what Kiyoomi said meant that he loved you too.

Even if that meant you were living in the worst kind of relationship possible.

[You can find the prompt list here]

[tssidesfics]

Requests: Analogince where they’re human and also single dads? And they all meet because their kids fought and got called to the principals office

Virgil's POV

Upsides to being a single father to a child with ADHD: you got to raise a beautiful, special boy with a sharp mind. You got to teach him all the coping mechanisms you'd painstakingly learned over the years to cope with his condition and watch as he lit up over the things that brought him joy. You got to watch as he zipped from topic to topic, brighter than the sun, mind racing at a million miles an hour. You got to be the first person to hear about his beautifully creative ideas. You got to have a reason for living, all yours and wonderful, that you didn't have to share with anyone else.

Downsides to being a single father to a child with ADHD: you had no one else to pass the buck to when he got in trouble at school.

"It'll be fine," I chanted to myself for the billionth time as I turned off the ignition and unbuckled myself, gripping the steering wheel and forcing deep, measured breaths. "It'll be fine. He probably won't get expelled for this. This is his first fight and you don't even know why he got into a fight. You didn't raise a bully, so he was probably defending himself or another kid." Terror clasped me around the throat and squeezed. "But what if you did raise a bully and you didn't realize it, and now you've sentenced your son to a life of crime trying to make up for the hole in his heart where his father should have loved him oh God I broke my son!"

Immediately, my therapist's voice spoke up in my mind. You're catastrophizing again, he said in that obnoxiously aware, gentle way of his. Calm down. Take it one step at a time.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, focusing on the feeling of my stomach and then my chest expanding with air. I let it out through pursed lips, a quiet whistle in the exhale.

I'd played through scenarios like this a million times in my mind. The second Cassie told me, five months pregnant with tears streaming down her cheeks, that she didn't want the baby, I'd prepared myself for any possibility. I'd created contingency plans and contingency plans for my contingency plans, because I knew how much harsher the world would be on him. With a grandparent, his biological mother, and me all with ADHD, there hadn't been any doubt Drew would get it, too, and I'd prepared for that. I'd prepared for the possibility that poor grades and emotional dysregulation would put him on the back foot and even get him expelled. I'd taught him all the coping mechanisms I could. I'd tried to show him as much love and patience as I could muster, and I'd show him the same now. We'd get through this. We would make it through this.

I nodded, resolute, even as doubt and worry niggled at the back of my mind. I'd raised Drew alone, without any support from my parents or Cassie, working a call center job that barely paid enough to live off of. I'd demanded a child psychiatrist the second Drew started displaying symptoms and beat the system for the help he deserved. I'd beat the system for the help I deserved. I was a badass. I was a badass.

I got out of the car.

The two people at the front desk--a woman with strawberry blonde hair and a baby-faced guy--looked over, presumably torn from their conversation, when I walked through the door. The woman swiveled her chair to face me with a friendly smile. "Hello there," she said. "How may I help you?"

I forced myself to look her in the eyes and strained through a smile. If you act like a weirdo, it'll just make things worse for Drew. "Hey," I said. "I'm, uh...Drew Griffith's father. You called me and--"

"Oh!" She gestured to the side, at a door that read: PRINCIPAL MOROZOV. "He's in there."

I looked over and gulped, staring in fear at the door. "Say, uh..." I smiled at the woman as politely as I could. "You wouldn't happen to know the correct social etiquette for talking to the principal after your son gets into a fight at school, would you?"

She gave me a funny look. "Huh?"

"Never mind." I hung my head in defeat and commenced the walk of dread to the front door of the office. The wall facing me was all glass, which meant I could see inside. Two adults, one natural-haired in a polo shirt with his arm around one of the kids in the chair beside him and the other behind a desk, looking stern. I couldn't see the other two kids or any other adults.

And then Principal Morozov spotted me through the glass and shit, I was out of time.

I took a deep breath and opened the door. "Sorry it took me so long," I said, hoping that was the right thing to say. "It was hard getting off work."

"It's all right," Principal Morozov said. "We haven't even reached Mr. Accardo yet."

"Hey, Dad," came the halfhearted voice of Drew, hidden behind a chair too big for him, especially when he slumped in it like that.

I peered over the top and smiled at him softly. "What the heck, kid?" I asked.

"He called Patton a freak." Drew pointed at the kid in the middle, with a busted nose and--oh God.

He had scattered burn marks across the right side of his face, with two differently-colored eyes and a scowl.

"So of course you had to beat me up," the kid sneers. "Because that's a perfectly rational, healthy thing to do."

The third kid--Patton, I presumed--bounced in his seat, humming in distress. His father, a man wearing glasses and a polo shirt with a tie, rubbed his back.

"I don't see why my son has to be here," the other father said, looking at Principal Morozov. "He didn't do anything."

“Patton sits alone at lunch time and doesn’t have any friends,” the principal said. “We think if he tried to get along with his peers better, he’d have a happier time here.”

“Or, you know, you could make an effort to teach your students not to bully kids who are different from them,” I grumbled.

“What was that, Mr. Griffiths?”

I hesitated, glancing up at Principal Morozov, then back at Drew. On one hand, I wanted to lead by example: teach Drew that it was okay to stand up to authority for what he believed. On the other, sometimes, you had to pay lip-service to authority just to stay out of trouble. It was a lesson no child had the mental capacities to understand, but I supposed I’d have to do my best to teach him, because if I gave Principal Morozov cheek, he might expel Drew.

“Nothing, sir,” I said, feeling like a child cowering beneath the glare of my teachers again. I prepared to search for the bullshit in the story I was about to get fed and asked, “What happens now?”

"I'd prefer to wait for Mr. Accardo," the principal said.

"Roman teaches at a high school," the bully grumbled, slouched over with a glare fixated on the desk. "He's probably in the middle of class."

"Then you're going to have to stay after school to address this," Principal Morozov told him sternly.

"Whatever."

I had a very bad feeling about that kid. The scars on his face told a frightening story. He could just as easily be bullied for those as Drew got bullied for his ADHD and Patton for being a loner, which probably meant he turned that abuse outward and attacked others for their perceived differences in a never-ending cycle of abuse.

What? I could be bad at people and have a special interest in human psychology. Those two things were not mutually exclusive.

Suddenly, the door banged open. I jumped out of my skin, clamping a hand over my chest and struggling to breathe levelly, eyes crushed shut and body frozen. Then I heard the babbling.

"I'm sorry!" The principal's door opened. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. The kids were in the middle of rehearsal and--Janus, what happened? I'm so sorry, Mr. Morozov." A frazzled man with warm skin rushed inside and sat down next to the bully--Janus--hastily hugging him and turning his attention to the principal.

I frowned at the scene. I withheld judgment and looked at Principal Morozov as he said, "All right. Now that you're all here, there are going to be some serious consequences to what happened today."

********

"I can't believe you let him give me detention!" Drew whined. "Janus deserved to get punched!"

"And you deserve to die abandoned and unloved in a ditch, steeping in your own feces," Janus snapped.

"Janus," his father, Roman, said firmly, kneeling down and taking him by the shoulders. Janus tried to turn away from him, but Roman lightly shook him and made him meet his eyes. He softened. "I know how much you're hurting, but a hero never redirects his pain onto others. There are other ways."

"What if I don't want to be a hero?" Janus snapped. "What if I want to be the bad guy?"

"I don't believe that," Roman said gently, adjusting his bangs. "I don't think you do, either."

Janus turned from him sharply, crossing his arms and glaring at the asphalt. He sniffled.

Drew glanced up at me in confusion and I rubbed his back. "Sometimes," I said gently, "when people are hurting, they deal with that by hurting other people."

"That's stupid," Drew said with the blunt confidence of a ten-year-old.

"Maybe a little," I agreed, "but humans aren't always logical." Drew wrinkled his nose. "I know. It's so annoying, but it's true. You're not always logical, either. Remember when you burst out crying because your pencil broke?"

"Dad!" Drew turned bright red.

Roman chuckled. "So." He stood up and crossed his arms. "You're the little rascal who dared challenge Janus to a duel for--Patton, right?" He looked at Mr. Davis--or Logan, as he'd introduced himself--who nodded. "You're the rascal who challenged Janus to a duel for Patton's honor," Roman finished.

"He was being an asshole," Drew protested.

"I'd say it's not my fault he uses that language," I said through a wince, "but it's definitely my fault he uses that language."

"I'm the same way with Janus, don't worry." Roman chuckled--a low, rumbly sound. He turned back to Drew. "You're got a paladin's heart and a temper. I was a lot like you when I was a kid."

Drew snorted. "You think you're cute, don't you?"

"He's always like this," Janus said, shoving in front of Roman. "He thinks it's so inspiring to talk about heroes all the time, like fairy tales are the best thing ever."

"That's gotta be annoying," Drew said, wrinkling his nose.

"It is." Janus stopped and scowled. "Don't relate to me!"

"Ew! You're a jerk! Get away from me!"

I exchanged a fond, exasperated look with Roman, who chuckled and squeezed Janus' shoulder. "Hey," he said, "maybe, if you apologized, you could have a friend."

"I don't want to apologize."

"So you'd rather another kid think you're a horrible person!"

Janus hesitated a moment before straightened his back. "Yes."

"I don't believe that."

I glanced over at Logan and saw that he was busy talking to Patton, kneeling on the ground and smoothing his hands over his shoulders in measured strokes. It seemed to soothe Patton. I looked at Drew.

"You know how it sometimes hurts you when you think about your Aunt Cassie?" I said softly, pulling him into my side as the shadow washed over his face.

"He called Patton a freak, Dad," Drew argued. "He's not even really my friend, but he's not a freak. He's just...different. Like me."

"I know, kiddo," I said, squeezing him against my side. "You don't have to give him a chance. He hasn't asked forgiveness, and you wouldn't owe him one even if you did. I just know you don't like to see people struggling alone."

Drew hesitated.

I looked over at Logan. "How's Patton?"

Logan glanced back at me, then looked at Patton. "Do you want to answer?"

Patton hesitated.

"It's okay," I said, not looking at his face. Patton hadn't made eye contact with a single person, including his father, since I'd met him. He clearly had more trouble with it than I did, and I wasn't always a huge fan. "I'm autistic, too."

Patton immediately perked up. "Really?"

"Yeah." I smiled, looking over the top of his head. I looked at Drew. "Can I tell him about you?"

"I'm ADHD," Drew told him, turning to him. "I got diagnosed last year."

"Oh cool!" Patton flapped his hands at his sides and bounced eagerly. "I don't, I don't think, because I'm actually pretty good at focusing most of the time and I have a really good memory, but Dad says autism and ADHD are really close together. It's really nice to meet someone else! I don't have many friends."

"Well, I guess you have me," Drew said. "I didn't get in trouble defending you for nothing."

Patton squealed and continued stimming enthusiastically. Drew offered a hug, which Patton considered for a long moment before accepting.

Logan smiled softly at the exchange and looked over to me. "You've raised a very kind son."

"More than half of it is all him," I said. "I do the best I can, but...I'm just one person. He's probably gonna hate me once he's a teenager."

"Nuh-uh!" Drew objected, charging over to embrace me around the middle. I smiled and hugged him close, squeezing him as tight as was safe. He grunted.

I caught Janus staring at us. I couldn't read his expression. He was glaring, but I had a feeling it wasn't anger. But clearly, Roman did understand it, because he knelt down and hugged him close, even when he tried to push him away. He just held fast. I thought for sure Janus would react badly--he hadn't wanted to be held, what was wrong with Roman?--but then he slowly relaxed and leaned against him. I still couldn't read him very well, but that...didn't look particularly resigned.

"You know," Roman said, pulling back after a long while, "I bet Drew and Patton would be willing to forgive you if you really, really earnestly apologized."

Janus shoved away from him, crossing his arms and glaring at the ground. "I don't want to apologize."

Roman sighed heavily, and Drew whirled on him. "You're such a freaking jerk!" he screamed. "What's wrong with you? Why do you have to be a jerk to everyone? I tried to be your friend and you just spit on me!"

"I don't want your pity!"

"It wasn't pity!"

"It's always pity!" Janus screeched. "You think I don't know what these scars make me? You think I don't know I'm a freak? If the fire didn't teach me that, then my parents sure did! I'm nothing! The only reason anyone would be nice to me is pity and I don't want anyone's pity! I just want to be left alone!"

Janus turned and ran. Roman chased after him frantically, never sparing Logan or I a glance.

Drew and Patton stood stunned. Drew looked at Patton, who stared at his forehead. "Well..." he said. "What the heck am I supposed to do now?"

Patton ran in the direction of Janus.

At that point, about the only thing for Drew and I to do was chase after his new friend, hot on the heels of his father.

We found Patton with his backpack unzipped, standing beside Janus' car door, already buckled in with Roman partway into the driver's seat, holding out a picture of a flower.

"It's ivy," Patton said. "It means friendship."

Janus stared at him through the window, unmoving. Patton, to my shock, held his gaze for one, two moments and then averted his eyes. Logan hurried over to hold him, clearly expecting Janus to reject him again.

Janus opened the car door. "Why would you want to be my friend?"

"He didn't say he wanted to be your friend," Drew sneered. "He just said it meant friendship, dummy."

"Drew," I chided softly, and he recoiled into my side.

"Because it's nice to know I'm not the only one who can't make any friends," Patton said. "I like having other friends who are special."

"I'm not special," Janus snapped.

"Dad says that being different is always special, because different people have discovered some of the coolest, prettiest things ever."

"It's true," Logan said. "Albert Einstein, Hans Christian Anderson, and Michelangelo. were all autistic."

"See?" Patton bounced and beamed at Janus. "So maybe we can all be different and special together and do really cool things one day! Like the three Musketeers."

Janus considered strongly. "I'm Athos."

"You can be whoever you want to be!" Patton said earnestly. "Then we can all have lots of musketcheer."

Drew, Roman and I choked on a laugh. Logan shook his head fondly. "He watches one sitcom that likes puns and he suddenly won't stop," he said.

Even Janus cracked a small smile. He accepted the paper. "Fine," he said. "We can have musketcheer."

Drew pouted. "Does this mean I'm your friend now?"

"Yes," Patton said firmly, looking at him.

Drew jumped, looking fearfully at Patton, who somehow managed to look intimidating while also avoiding eye contact. He looked up at me. "What have I done?" he asked.

"Made friends." I rubbed his back. I looked around. "We should probably get all these guys home. They've had a long day, and school will be letting out soon."

"I guess now that all our kids are friends, I'll be seeing more of you," Roman said to both Logan and me.

Logan hummed. "I presume so. Patton does not own a phone of his own. I can give you my number if your children wish to contact him?"

"I hate to say it, but you should probably get him his own phone," I said. "It's dangerous not to have one. If I ever lost sight of Drew...I'd rather he have a phone."

Logan considered this. "I suppose you have a point. Nevertheless, for the moment, you'll have to go through me to reach Patton."

"Don't have to ask me twice. Here." Roman accepted Logan's phone and typed in Janus' number, then passing it to Drew, who stared at it for a moment.

I recited his number to him and he punched it in. "Don't worry, kid," I said. "One day, you're going to have to tell so many doctors your number that it's going to be emblazoned on your brain."

After all numbers had been exchanged, I shook Logan's and Roman's hands goodbye and let Patton and Drew embrace again. Janus stayed stubbornly in his seat, refusing any sort of affection, which kind of concerned me, but then Roman whispered, "This is the most receptive he's been since I started fostering him."

I nodded and smiled, leading Drew back toward the car. He looked at me. "I guess I have friends now."

I glanced back toward Roman's car as it drove away and caught Logan's eye as he loaded into his own. He smiled at me.

"Yeah," I said. "I think I might have, too."

[tenaflyviper]

Black Horror Movies

(If this post looks familiar, it's because I had to remake it, but it now has many more entries and links!)

I had been wanting for a while now to make a post covering horror films made by black filmmakers, or that furthered the careers of black actors and actresses–what better time than Black History Month?  Especially given the unfortunate stereotypes and overall treatment of black people in horror films, I wanted to spotlight those films that avoid such pitfalls, and helped paved the way for black filmmakers and performers to embrace and establish themselves in the genre.

I couldn’t have compiled such a great list without the help of “Blacula” at BlackHorrorMovies.com. His site is absolutely invaluable for those with any interest in black horror cinema, and I highly recommend paying a visit!

I will be including Blacula’s “Racial Representation” rating for each film, when available (ratings are out of five stars).  I will also be including a separate list of films that are more flawed in their presentation, but are still noteworthy.  If you feel a film was omitted from the list, it is likely that it didn’t meet the criteria of positive representation or social/historical significance.

SUPER IMPORTANT: While I will try to add warnings when applicable, I’m afraid I have not seen every single film on this list, so there may be upsetting content that I’m not aware of. If you are unsure about a film’s content, and whether or not it will be right for you, please consider looking up the IMDB or Wikipedia listings (or the entry on BlackHorrorMovies.com) beforehand.  Any potentially triggering words in titles will be censored for this list.

Lastly, permanent link availability is NOT GUARANTEED. I wish I could have had more links to offer, but I’ve tried to rely only on free streaming sites and Youtube, so as to avoid sending anyone to any sites that might be untrustworthy.  Tubi TV requires signing up (on PC, anyway), but it is still 100% free (and it’s also available as an app on Android, IOS, Xbox Live, and Playstation, as are Frightpix and Popcornflix).  I will do my best to update links when there are changes.

There are a few films here that veer more toward being thrillers, action, sci-fi, or dark fantasy, but I still felt they deserved to be included.

Son of Ingagi (1940) ★ ★ ★ ★

The Vampire’s Ghost (1945) ★ ★ ★ ½

Night of the Living Dead (1968) ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Night Gallery (1969) ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

Blacula (1972) ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

The Thing with Two Heads (1972) ★ ★ ★ ½

Alabama’s Ghost (1973) ★ ★ ½

Ganja & Hess (1973) ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Scream, Blacula, Scream (1973) ★ ★ ★ ★

Don’t Look in the Basement (1973) ★ ★ ★

Abby (1974) ★ ★ ★ ★

Sisters (1973) ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The Beast Must Die! (1974) ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

The House on Skull Mountain (1974) ★ ★ ★

Sugar Hill (1974)

Old Dracula (aka Vampira) (1974) ★ ★ ★ ½

The Zebra Killer (1974) ★ ★ ★ ½

Lord Shango (1975) ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

Welcome Home, Brother Charles (1975) ★ ★ ★

Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde (1976) ★ ★ ★ ★

Devil’s Express (1976) ★ ★ ½

J.D.’s Revenge (1976) ★ ★ ★ ½

Abar: The First Black Superman (1977) ★ ★ ★ ★

Dawn of the Dead (1978) ★ ★ ★

Nurse Sherri (1978) ★ ★ ★ ★

Midnight (1982) ★ ★ ★ ½

House of Dies Drear (1984) ★ ★ ★ ★

Day of the Dead (1985) (added by request) ★ ★ ½

The Midnight Hour (1985) ★ ★ ★ ½

Predator (1987) ★ ★ ★

Stagefright (1987) ★ ★ ★ ★

Lady in White (1988) ★ ★ ★

The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988) ★ ★ ½

Death Spa (1989) ★ ★ ★ ½

Night of the Living Dead (1990) ★ ★ ★

Predator 2 (1990) ★ ★ ★

The People Under the Stairs (1991) ★ ★ ★ ★

Candyman (1992) ★ ★ ★ ½

Dust Devil (1992) ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

Back From Hell (1993) ★ ★ ★

Full Eclipse (1993) ★ ★ ★

Cut Up (1994) ★ ★ ★ ★

Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh (1995)

Ozone (aka Street Zombies) (1995)

Tales from the Hood (1995) ★ ★ ★ ★

Se7en (1995)

Event Horizon (1997) ★ ★ ★ ★

Beloved (1998)

Blade (1998)

Fallen (1998)

Candyman: Day of the Dead (1999)

Urban Menace (1999) ★ ★

House on Haunted Hill (1999) ★ ★ ★ ★

Ragdoll (1999) ★ ★ ½

Killjoy (2000) ★ ★ ½

Queen of the Damned (2002)

28 Days Later (2002) ★ ★ ★ ★

Cryptz (2002) ★ ★ ★

Bubba Ho-Tep (2003)

Cutthroat Alley (2003) ★ ★ ★

Gothika (2003) ★ ★ ★ ½

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Dark Town (2004) ★ ★ ★ ½

Frankenfish (2004) ★ ★ ★ ★

Vampz (2004) ★ ★ ½

White Skin (2004) ★ ★ ★ ½

Boy Eats Girl (2005) ★ ★ ★ ★

The Cavern (2005) ★ ★ ★ ★

Day X (2005) ★ ★ ★ ★

The Final Patient (2005) ★ ★ ★ ★

Isolation (2005) ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

Land of the Dead (2005) ★ ★ ★ ½

The Skeleton Key (2005) ★ ★ ★ ½

Devil’s Den (2006)

Gangs of the Dead (aka Last Rites) (2006) ★ ★

Minotaur (2006) ★ ★ ★

Recon 2020: The Caprini Massacre (2006) ★ ★ ★

Slip (2006) ★ ★ ½

Shadow: Dead Riot (2006) ★ ★ ½

Dead Heist (2007) ★ ★ ½

Death Row (2007) ★ ★

The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007) ★ ★ ½

I Am Legend (2007)

Ice Spiders (2007) ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

Nailed (2007) ★ ★ ½

Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror (2007) ★ ★

Primeval (2007) ★ ★ ★

Promise Keeper (2007) ★ ★ ★ ★

Saw IV (2007) ★ ★ ★

Sublime (2007) ★ ★ ★ ½

Hanah’s Gift (2008) ★ ★ ★ ½

Mutant Vampire Zombies from the Hood! (2008) ★ ★

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (2008) ★ ★ ★

The Crypt (2009) ★ ★ ★ ★

Fury (2009)

Chain Letter (2010) ★ ★ ★

Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! (2010) ★ ★ ★ ½

Attack the Block (2011) ★ ★ ★ ★

The Dead (2011) ★ ★ ★ ½

The Inheritance (2011) ★ ★ ★ ½

Machete Joe (2012) ★ ★ ★ ½

The Mortician (2012) ★ ★ ★ ½

Scary or Die (2012) ★ ★ ★ ½

Blood Tokoloshe (aka Ghetto Goblin) (2013) ★ ★ ★ ½

The Ghost of Saint Aubin (2013) ★ ★ ★

Repentance (2013)

Disciples (2014)

The Purge: Anarchy (2014) ★ ★ ★ ★

American Backwoods: Slew Hampshire (2015) ★ ★ ★ ½

Badass Monster Killer (2015)

Bloodsucka Jones (2015)

Death’s Door (2015)

The Sickle (2015) ★ ★ ★ ★

Unsullied (2015) ★ ★ ★ ★ (R*PE WARNING)

Wasteland (2015) ★ ★ ★ ½

Writer’s Retreat (2015) ★ ★ ★ ½

The Alchemist’s Cookbook (2016) ★ ★ ★ ★

The Devil Lives Here (2016) ★ ★ ★ ★

Dying to Kill (2016) ★ ★ ★ ½

Home (2016) ★ ★ ★ ½

A House is Not a Home (2016) ★ ★ ★ ½

Initiation (2016) ★ ★ ★ ★

The Invitation (2016) ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

Not Another Zombie Movie (2016) ★ ★ ★ ½

The Purge: Election Year (2016) ★ ★ ★ ★

Zoombies (2016) ★ ★ ★ ½

Bloodrunners (2017) ★ ★ ½

Inhumanity (2017) ★ ★ ½

It Comes at Night (2017) ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

Paranormal Evil (2017)

Parasites (2017) ★ ★ ★ ½

The Transfiguration (2017) ★ ★ ★ ★

Bird Box (2018) ★ ★ ★ ★

But Deliver Us From Evil (2018) ★ ★ ★ ½

Captured (2018)

The Evil Inside Her (2018)

The First Purge (2018) ★ ★ ★ ★

Fixation (2018) ★ ★

Good Manners (2018) ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

Head Count (2018)

Overlord (2018) ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

Pooka! (2018) ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

Slice (2018) ★ ★ ★ ½

Soft Matter (2018) ★ ★ ★ ★

They Remain (2018) ★ ★ ★

A Brilliant Monster (2019)

Head Count (2019) ★ ★ ★ ★

47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019) ★ ★ ★

The Intruder (2019) ★ ★ ★ ½

Jacob’s Ladder (2019) ★ ★ ½

Little Monsters (2019) ★ ★ ★ ★

Ma (2019) ★ ★ ★ ★

(2019) ★ ★ ★ ½

Thriller (2019) ★ ★

Color Out of Space (2020) ★ ★ ★

Crawlers (2020) ★ ★ ★ ½

Nicole (2020)

Pooka Lives! (2020) ★ ★ ★

Spiral (2020)

Tokoloshe: The Calling (2020)

Vampires vs. The Bronx (2020) ★ ★ ★ ★

Blackstock Boneyard (2021)

Films by Black Filmmakers:

Black Devil Doll from Hell (1984) – Written, produced, and directed by Chester Novell Turner ★ ★ ½

Witchdoctor of the Living Dead (1985) - Written and directed by Charles Abi Enonchong

Tales from the Quadead Zone (1987) – Written, produced, and directed by Chester Novell Turner ★ ★ ½

Def By Temptation (1990) – Written, produced, and directed by James Bond III ★ ★ ★ ★

Ax ‘Em (1993) – Written, produced, and directed by Michael Mfume ★ ★ ½

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995) – Directed by Ernest R. Dickerson ★ ★ ★ ★

Tales from the Hood (1995) – Written and directed by Rusty Cundieff ★ ★ ★ ★

Spirit Lost (1996) – Directed by Neema Barnette, written by Shirley Pierce, and produced by The Black Entertainment Network (BET) ★ ★ ★ ½

Bugged! (1997) – Written, produced, and directed by Ronald K. Armstrong ★ ★ ★ ★

Three Sickxty (1998) – Written, produced, and directed by Natural Drye ★ ★ ★

End of the Wicked (1999) - Written, directed, and produced by Teco Benson

Cursed Part 3 (2000) – Written, produced, and directed by Rae Dawn Chong ★ ★ ½

Now Eat (2000) – Written and directed by Kerry Alan Williams ★

Scary Movie (2000) Written and produced by Marlon and Shawn Wayans, and directed by Keenan Ivory Wayans

Urban Evil (2000) - Co-directed by James Black

Bones (2001) - Directed by Ernest R. Dickerson ★ ★ ½

Creepin’ (2001) - Written, produced, and directed by Tim Greene ★ ★ ½

Tara (aka Hood Rat) (2001) - Produced and directed by Leslie Small ★ ½

Scary Movie 2 (2001) - Written and produced by Marlon and Shawn Wayans, and produced and directed by Keenan Ivory Wayans

Crazy as Hell (2002) - Produced and directed by Eriq La Salle ★ ★ ★ ★

Holla If I Kill You (2003) - Written and produced by Jeff Carroll ★ ★ ★

Scary Movie 3 (2003) - Written by Marlon and Shawn Wayans

Street Tales of Terror (2004) - Written and directed by J.D. Hawkins ★ ½

The Evil One (2005) - Written and directed by Parris Reaves ★ ★ ★

Damon (2006) - Written, produced, and directed by Eric Richardson-Hagans ★ ★ ½  

Gold Digger Killer (2006) - Written and produced by Jeff Carroll ★ ★

Fright Club (2006) - Directed by Attika Torrence

Holla (2006) - Written and directed by H.M. Coakley ★ ★ ★ ½

Holla If You Hear Me (2006) - Written, produced, and directed by Mark Harris ★ ★

Office Outbreak (2006) - Written, produced, and directed by Shawn Woodard ★ ★ ★

Scary Movie 4 (2006) - Written by Marlon and Shawn Wayans

April Fools (2007) - Written, produced, and directed by Nancy Norman ★ ★ ½

Bleeding Rose (2007) - Written, produced, and directed by Kareem Bland ★ ★

Insane in the Brain (2007) - Written, produced, and directed by Chad Hendricks

Somebody Help Me (2007) - Written, produced, and directed by Chris Stokes ★ ★ ★ ½

Soulful (2007) - Written and directed by Sarah Poindexter ★ ½

Hospitality (2008) - Written and directed by Tony Ducret ★ ★ ★

Blunted House (2009) - Directed by Norman Miller

Somebody Help Me 2 (2010) - Directed by Chris Stokes

Bad to the Jones (2011) - Directed by Marlon Ladd

Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes (2012) - Produced and directed by Cory Grant ★ ★ ★

Into the Woods (2012) – Directed by Hadrian Hooks

Haitian Nights (2013) - Directed by Kenya Moore

A Haunted House (2013) - Written and produced by Marlon Wayans ★ ½

Holla II (2013) ★ ½ - Written and directed by H.M. Coakley

In the Closet (2013) - Directed by Lamont A. Coleman

Scary Movie 5 (2013) - Written by Marlon and Shawn Wayans, and directed by Malcolm D. Lee

The Night Seekers (2014) - Written, produced, and directed by Menetie T. Ejeye ★ ★

Da Sweet Blood of Jesus (2015) - Written, produced, and directed by Spike Lee (A remake of Ganja & Hess)

Jimmy Did You Get One? (2015) – Directed by Jerry D. May

Ojuju (2015) - Written, produced, and directed by C.J. “Fiery” Obasi ★ ★ ★ ½

Prom Ride (2015) - Written, produced, and directed by Kazeem Molake ★ ★ ★

Filth (2016) - Directed by Douglas Enogieru

Meet the Blacks (2016) - Directed by Deon Taylor

Rhyme Slaya (2016) - Produced and directed by Maurice Thomas

Beast of the Water (2017) - Directed by Rashaad Santiago

Get Out (2017) - Written, produced, and directed by Jordan Peele (Academy Award winner for Best Original Screenplay) ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Paranormal Evil (2017) - Directed by Akil Pugh

As Evil Does (2018) - Directed by Yolanda Buggs

Moma’s Spirit (2018) - Written, produced, and directed by Robert L. Parker III

Out of Gas (2018) - Written, produced, and directed by Michael Lemelle, and co-directed by April Marcell

Tales From the Hood 2 (2018) - Written, produced, and directed by Rusty Cundieff and Darin Scott ★ ★ ★ ½

The Tokoloshe (2018) – Directed by Jerome Pikwane

Traffik (2018) - Written, produced, and directed by Deon Taylor ★ ★ ½

Disciples (2014)

Horror Noire (2019) – Directed by Xavier Neal-Burgin

Killer Bae (2019) – Directed by Juhahn Jones

Mollywood (2019) - Directed by Morocco Vaughn

7th and Westlake: Nino's Revenge (2019) - Directed by Michael H. Royal

Us (2019) – Written, directed, and produced by Jordan Peele ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Antebellum (2020) - Written and directed by Gerard Bush and Christopher Renz ★ ★

Bad Hair (2020) - Directed by Justin Simien ★ ★ ★

Black Box (2020) - Directed by Emmanuel Osei-Kuffour Jr. ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

Candyman (2020) - Written and produced by Jordan Peele; directed by Nia DaCosta

Frequent Visitors (2020) - Directed by Moe McCoy

My Biggest Fan (2021) - Directed by Johnnard Harper

His House (2020) - Remi Weekes ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The Killing Secret (2020) - Directed by Sheena Herod and Wardell Richardson

Tales from the Hood 3 (2020) - Written and directed by Rusty Cundieff ★ ★ ★

Call Time: The Finale (2021) – Directed by Derrick Hammond

Purgatory (2021) - Directed by Trevor Ford

Urban Horror Series (2021) - Directed by Andre Dixon, Jonathan Rowan, and Felicia Howell

Since tumblr decided to add a 100-link limit, you'll find many more movies in:

Black Horror Movies Part 2

[becca-e-barnes]

hi lovely, I wanted to make a request about a sensitive topic, so it's ok if you decide not to.

But if you decide to do it, Zemo x Reader where she has been sexually abused and he comforts her, because I just need him to tell me that it was not my fault.

I sometimes remember the moment it happened and it makes me really sad and guilty. I'm really sorry if this request triggers you. Thank you in advance🖤

Honey omg, can I start off by saying whatever happened was absolutely not your fault. I woke up at 5am and saw this request and I just couldn’t get back to sleep until I had started writing it. I was in a similar situation a few years ago so this is really based off my experience and how I found I dealt with it. While it still upsets me sometimes I’ve found I don’t think about it as often as I used to so it does get better, I promise. I actually found this quite cathartic to write since it’s something I don’t talk about much. If you ever want a little chat, please don’t be scared to shoot me a message! Hope you’re doing okay 💗

Pairing: Helmut Zemo x GN! Reader

(Again, the fact this is gender neutral was a happy accident but I wanted it to be applicable to anyone that might find some comfort in it)

Word count: 1.5 k

Summary: You have a bad night and Zemo comforts you (list of international resources at the end.)

Warnings: TW: Sexual Assault mention, please don’t read this if those themes will upset you. There are no graphic descriptions, this is more just the reader dealing with the aftermath. Hurt/ comfort, quite dark, angst, Zemo does his best but everyone heals differently, fluff.

You weren’t quite sure how it had happened but it had become one of those nights where reality had become a little too heavy to handle. You had went to bed feeling fine but woke in the early hours, head swimming with the recollection of everything that had happened. All of a sudden, sleep was the last thing on your mind, your body jarred awake by the painful memories and the sickly feeling that always accompanied them. Rather than spend the night tossing and turning in bed beside your boyfriend, you got up, hauling your sleep deprived frame from the warmth of your bed, heading to the little snug at the end of the hall. Grounding yourself wasn’t easy when you felt like this, but you had to take the time to notice the little things or risk losing yourself in the past altogether. You let yourself notice the little breeze that came in through the window down your hall, the smooth feeling of the wooden bannister under your fingertips and the cold that travelled up your bare legs as your feet padded softly across the wooden floor. Your pyjama shorts tickled the tops of your thighs as you walked the short distance before you gently pushed the heavy wooden door, admiring how it manoeuvred silently under your touch, despite it’s weight. None of these things were particularly special, often lost in the monotony of day to day life but during these early mornings where the past felt all too real, they were little blessings, reminders of the present.

Closing the door behind you quietly, you made your way over to the little cushioned window ledge. It had been extended so it was easily large enough to sit on, giving you a vantage point to look out the topmost window of the house, completely unobstructed. You settled into the familiar spot, legs crossed in front of you. From here you could see everything that went on in the grounds of Helmut’s massive estate. You could see the little stream running down beside your house, often your favourite point of focus as it was ever changing and therefore, distracting. Huge birds swooped and dived at the lake, hoping to procure some breakfast for themselves and their young, some flying off triumphantly with a tasty fish while others left with nothing, frustrated by the difficulties of hunting. Apart from the running water and their squawks, there were no other sounds to disturb the early morning air.

The birds were an adequate distraction for around an hour before you began to lose interest, feeling your mind wander once more in a direction you didn’t want it to take. That pang of guilt hit you deep in the chest as you began to feel like your body was tainted in some way. Horrible memories flooded your head, memories of roaming hands and that feeling of being painfully helpless, your chest feeling like it might collapse under the weight of those memories. You had no more tears left to cry when you thought about what had happened, while it still hurt as intensely as it did, the memories weren’t often accompanied by tears anymore, rather a guilty ache in your chest that threatened to consume you and you honestly weren’t sure which was worse. A good cry used to get it all out, give you the opportunity to start fresh and you often felt all the better for it when you were done but the ache was harder to manage. You hated how this was now something you had to live with, knowing that someone else’s actions had such a huge reign over your life.

You were so lost in thought, you hadn’t even noticed Helmut slipping in behind you until you heard the faint click of the heavy wooden door.

“Bad night my love?” He asked softly, his voice barely disturbing the calm, his accent noticeably thicker after he had just woken up. He was still in a little thin pair of cotton pyjamas, hair messy and tousled from sleep. You could only nod in response, noticing how his lips pressed together so he didn’t voice his anger about the person that had done this to you. He didn’t want the focus of this to be on them and their selfish actions, that wasn’t helpful but it didn’t stop his blood boiling in his veins. Dealing with this was often as hard for him as it was for you, seeing the only person he loved so dearly feel the way you did, knowing you were hurting and he wasn’t able to take the pain away sometimes brought him to a very dark place.

“May I touch you?” He whispered quietly, knowing that sometimes having that contact could be worse for you.

“Please.” You nodded simply, feeling his body slot in behind yours. His legs bracketed yours, arms wrapped around your waist and his head buried in the crook of your neck as you both went back to watching the birds silently. His heart beating in his chest was comforting against you, the rise and fall of his breathing giving you something else to focus on.

“This is not your cross to bear alone, my dove.” He whispered, thumbs rubbing at the exposed skin of your waist where your pyjama top had ridden up slightly.

“I know I just… Didn’t want to wake you.” You replied, equally softly.

“How many times must I tell you sweetheart, I want you to wake me. Let me be there for you.” He pleaded, pressing little kisses to your shoulders, hoping to rid your arms of the goosebumps that had begun to form. He was not mad, not at you anyway, understanding that sometimes you just needed the time alone to come to terms with things but if you needed him, he wanted to be there. There was a heavy pause that hung in the air after that, both of you slightly weighed down by the gravity of the emotions this can inflict on you as a couple.

“Can I talk about it?” You asked softly. It wasn’t something you did very often, preferring not to burden Helmut too much with the details. He had heard it all before so nothing would surprise him but you were still conscious that it hurt him to hear what had happened.

“Of course.” He answered, gentle chaste kisses to your shoulders reminding you that this was entirely on your terms. He did not press you to talk further when you had said enough, he also didn’t let his own pain at the situation take away from yours, knowing if you needed to talk about it, he had to be there to listen. You took a deep breath, taking one of his hands in yours, clasping them together.

“I just feel… Tainted? I feel guilty. Feel like I could’ve done more to stop it.” You knew you couldn’t have done more but there was always a nagging sense of ‘what if’. Helmut nodded from behind you, giving your hand a little squeeze, waiting to see if you wanted to continue. “Feel like it’s my fault. And now I have to deal with it. But you don’t have to.” You explained quietly, ache in your chest growing to sharp pain.

“You are not tainted my love. Nor was it your fault. You could not have done more to prevent it and even if you could, that is not the point. You shouldn’t have had to do more. One ‘no’ should have been enough.” It killed him to know you thought like this about yourself. He didn’t see you like that at all. Your body wasn’t tainted from what had happened, it didn’t make him want you less. It made him admire your strength and courage, seeing how you got up every morning and took care of the body you blamed. “Your blame is misplaced my love. The blame is not yours to carry. You have done no wrong.” His words made warmth flourish in your chest, hearing him listen to you and truly understand meant more to you than he would ever know.

“Thank you Helmut.” You whispered, tears brimming in your eyes, spilling over your cheeks but not from sadness, more from the unconditional love Helmut afforded you, the time he took to make you be gentler to your body again making you feel more loved than you could’ve imagined possible.

“Not at all, my sweet.” He whispered, gripping you just a little tighter. He loved you, every single part of you. To him, you were perfect and nothing would change that. He just wanted to help you through your pain and absolve you of it, hoping some day you could see yourself how he saw you.

A/N: I’m going to drop this link here just in case it’s needed, this was the most comprehensive resource I could find. If you need it, please do use it. 💗

https://osapr.harvard.edu/international-resources-0

[namjoon-koya]

May I request something? :D

I was thinking about a cute fic idea,,

And i found your account so I wanted to ask you!!

Hawks has a prohero s/o with a cat quirk, they have increased agility, speed and are overall very good at what they do- but they also have the funnier traits of cats, too. Their eyes get big when they see something that’s interesting, they purr, kneed, and take cat naps- Because Keigo is a bird, they like playing with his wings and cuddling, and yeah.. (they have the ears, tail and eyes like a cat- and claws!!)

Plot wise, i was thinking; They both come home from a rough day, and readers cooks for him and they both cuddle and reader helps Hawks with cleaing his wings :)

The 🦎 anon <3

A/N: 🦎 thank you for the request (I never really imagined hawks having a s/o who had a cat quirk 😳)

Hawks was really interested in your quirk, he never saw someone actually have a cat quirk before so this was certainly new to him. He wanted to test out every possibility would you chase after a red light? Can you really land on your feet and nothing will happen to you? Also... since technically he’s almost like a bird would you attack him?

You didn’t thankfully when he got to see you in action that’s when he was REALLY interested in you. Your cat quirk helped you be able to spot things easily, also gave you an advantage in seeing in the dark, and the flexibility you had was amazing you could easily slip through tight spaces.

When the both of you grew close together hawks finally asked you out, which you quickly said yes to. Living together was... definitely an adventure, remember how hawks wanted to test if you were truly catlike? He would definitely do it out of curiosity. One time during breakfast he pointed a laser down onto the ground, and immediately saw your pupils grow big. You quickly jumped out of your chair and pounced on the dot, only to see it quickly go to the wall.

Another things hawks wanted to test is would you actually purr? Once you laid your head down on his lap he would gently scratch your ears and once he heard that soft purr escape he found it extremely cute, you tried swatting his hand away embarrassed that you let out a purr, but he would only continue to scratch away at your ears and of course you couldn’t stop purring.

One time hawks got home only to see you sunbathing in the sun while laying down on the floor, he let out a chuckle and tried moving you to the bed or the couch, but you insisted on hawks leaving you on the floor. “Were you cold is that why you started sunbathing?” You only shook your head “I enjoy it.” Once hawks searched online as to why cats like sunbathing he was surprised.

Apparently cats like feeling warm and secure before they take a nap, which now gave him an idea to always cuddle with you so you could sleep peacefully for now on. One of hawks big no no’s is you clawing at his wings, they’re extremely sensitive to the touch which is why he doesn’t allow anyone to touch his feathers. Until you started grooming him by gently fixing his feathers whenever they got tangled.

Goosebumps would form on his arm and he would shiver once in a while feeling your claws run through his feathers, he thought he wouldn’t enjoy it; but he actually did. Hawks was extremely touch-starved so every chance he got he would try to make you cuddle with him, or let you groom his wings. Which you enjoyed doing if you ever teased hawks by gently pulling on his feather you better expect to get your tail pulled by him.

Both of you take turns cooking, but hawks mainly doesn’t mind cooking for you. He loves seeing the smile on your face and makes him realize why he fell in love with you in the first place, after eating the both of you will cuddle on the couch while streaming some movies before finally heading off to bed.

[starsofficer]

I PROMMY TO UPDATE SOON YALL 🫶🏻 just with xmas coming up i’ve been a bit busy helping my nana shop and make sure the house is kept nice !!!!! the next chapter will be up no later than ayato’s banner !!!!!! will also be live streaming my ayato pulls if anyone’s interested!

i have him guaranteed + all of his ascension and talent mats and a 4pc heart build so will also be showing him off and maybe farming new artifacts if i don’t like the build on him (maybe also some alhaitham farming)

also appreciate all the love 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 i may start posting mini text fics from random fandoms (character x GN! reader) if anyone’s interested and actually read this u can send an ask requesting !!! i’ll do a separate post for it but the fandoms i’m interested in writing for are bungo stray dogs, genshin, chainsaw man, DC comics (mainly batfam and superfam) and Marvel (specify comics or mcu!)

okay that’s a lot of talking if u read this ily 🫶🏻

[hacked-by-jake]

Hey!

I've just got broken up with after 3 years because he cheated on me with multiple girls... (And blamed me for it)

Can I please request some Jake fluff? I leave it up to your artistic freedom, I just wanna feel better for a bit

Love your little stories, thank you for writing ❤️

The Truth

A/n: Hey dear, I hope you’re okay, I’m really sorry about what happened to you and thank you for telling me that. The words I will say are known from everywhere but they are true.You definitely deserve something much better than him. First of all, it is not your fault that he cannot control himself; it is not your fault that he cannot see your value. He doesn’t deserve you, and you don’t deserve to listen, it’s your fault. Even though it’s always easier said than done but you have to forget it. He's not worth your time, he's not worth your power, and he's not worth anything else. I wish you much strength and send you much love. Feel hugged and if you want to talk to someone you don’t know, feel free to write to me❤️❤️❤️

So, when I saw your message, I jumped right up to write this. I really hope you like it and that it will cheer you up a bit. I wish you a wonderful evening/ a wonderful night or a wonderful day. Take care of yourself. And thank you for the sweet compliments.❤️❤️

Summary: Jake tells you the truth.

Words: 2,1 k

Far away from you, you can hear the quiet bells of the church beating. It’s exactly 12 a.m. on a beautiful summer night.

The cloudless and pitch black sky offers a beautiful view of the sea of stars that sparkles above you and Jake and gives you the feeling that this is the eternity. On the edge of Duskwood town centre, on an abandoned high-rise, you sit cuddling with the Hacker and just watch the Quiet Night. Only occasionally cars drive through the streets of the small town, again and again lights go out in apartments and houses to end the day. The large windows of the shops and stores of the shopping street light up brightly and from up here the few people who are on their way home look like like little ants. You’re leaning your back against Jake’s upper body, and he’s got his arms wrapped around you. His head rests on your shoulder and your legs are knotted together.

You look up at the sky and watch the stars. Every now and then a plane flies by and you imagine yourself sitting up there with Jake on your way to your deserted island.

A beautiful holiday destination that you have traveled two times. A cute little wooden hut surrounded by white sand and crystal clear water. It is just perfect. You remember the moment when you were lying in a hammock with Jake in the middle of the night, under the starry sky and the moonlight, and he read you something from your favorite book. As beautiful as this moment was, as beautiful is this one too. In Jake’s arms, you feel like you own the world, like everything else is standing still and only you and Jake count. And it’s true, up here, it’s just you, him and the eternity.

Satisfied, you sigh, "It’s so lovely here, isn’t it?"

"You're right. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world," Jake whispers in your ear and breathes a tender kiss on your cheek, making you giggle. You turn your head a little to the side to see him, "I’m talking about the sky." He grins slightly, "And I’m talking about something even more beautiful."

Your cheeks turn slightly red and you are glad that it is not visible through the little light. Even after two years of relationship, he still manages to flatter and embarrass you, but the other way around it’s the same.

"You charmer" you joke and turn your head away from him again.

"No, I’m not a charmer. I am a man who only speaks the truth!" He whispers and draws you even closer to his body.

"Oh interesting, and what is the truth?"

He makes a superior sound, "Turn to me," he demands and lets you go so you can move. You do what he asks and turn to him. You sit between his outstretched legs and put your legs over his thighs and slide very close to him.

"Now, I am curious," you wink and look into his eyes that radiate so much love and security that you would like to cry the most, that you have the feeling that a whole zoo would rage in your belly, so tremendously tingles your whole body.

„The truth is that you are the most beautiful thing that could have happened to me. Before, I always felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. As if I were superfluous everywhere and nowhere would a person really understand me. I thought it was my destiny to be misunderstood by everyone and to be an outsider. But when I met you, with your extraordinary kind and your jokes. With your courage and your trust in me, I understood it wasn’t true. I realized that all I had to do was wait for the right person that I found in you. Since I know you, my world is colorful, I see the future and I don’t just live for myself. Or rather, I don’t just exist. Since I know you, my whole life has changed.

When I’m with you, there’s no place I’d rather be. You’re the last thing I think about before I fall asleep, even when you lie next to me every night. You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up, even if you’re half on top of me.

When I look into your beautiful eyes, I can see my future. I never looked for love until you came. I didn’t know that I longed for love and affection, I didn’t know how beautiful life can be. I didn’t know there was a person who made me feel what you made me feel. I had no idea that all I needed was you.

Before, it was just me and my computer. Trying to be anonymous and not letting anyone get too close to me even though that’s what I secretly wanted. All of a sudden, you made my world shine.

Everything I never thought possible became possible when I met you.

You know, MC, there’s flames, but you’re the fireworks, you’re the light that makes me see. Your eyes are my refuge, your touches are my salvation, your voice is my favorite music. Your smell is my healing, your lips my protection, and your love, my life. Your heartbeat is what keeps me alive, I don’t know what I would do without you. I don’t know how a life without you at my side was and is possible. When you enter the room, stops my heart for seconds and then beats twice as fast because you take my breath away.

Every time I look at you, I doubt whether this is the reality. Because I just can’t imagine how someone like you, so perfect, so beautiful, so sweet and tender, can be with me.

I know I talk a lot of messed up and confused stuff and I’m probably repeating myself, but if you could just feel what’s happening inside me while you’re sitting here with me, you’d think I’m crazy. And I am.. I am crazy about you.

I forget the simplest things around you. I forget how to talk and stutter all the time. Breathing is a hard thing too, because my emotions roll over when you’re there. I forget how to walk because I only have eyes for you and no longer look forward.

But I also forget all the bad, I forget all the pain, all the suffering, all the unhappiness. All thanks to you.

When I tell you something, you listen to me and you don’t just pretend. You’re interested in things I like, and even if I tell you boring computer stuff for hours, you listen to me carefully. If I’m not well, you leave everything behind to help me; if I’m happy, you’re happy with me. If someone treats me badly, you say something before I say something myself. You’re defending me from everyone and you’re defending me even if I’m not there.

MC, no one’s ever done this for me.

My heart is beating so fast I think it’s bursting. I feel drunk when you look into my eyes and confuse my mind, I feel so safe and loved. I feel like a human being since you’ve been at my side.

You showed me what happiness means, you showed me what love means. You showed me what life means and how beautiful life can be when you spend it with the right person.

I thank everyone out there that I can have you by my side. That I can be the person who is by your side, who may hold your hand, who may kiss you.

Who can sleep next to you, who can look at you all the time, who can protect you, and I always will. I will protect you from anything that could hurt you.

I would endure any pain in the world to stay by your side.

I would take any pain away from you so that it doesn’t hurt you, I would do anything to maintain your happiness and love. You are my God damn world! You are my angel, my heart, my one and all. You are my freedom and you are my prison, you are my happiness and my pain. You are everything, everything important in this world.

I wish I could describe to you how strong my love is for you but unfortunately there are not enough words to express it. And it drives me crazy that I can’t describe it to you, because I would love to.

I would like to express to you how damn much I love you because you deserve to see how I see you. Because you deserve to hear how perfect you are.

I love you so much that sometimes it scares me because I don’t know how to deal with it if you would to disappear from my life. I would never be happy again MC, I would never laugh again, I would never live again, it would break me, my dear.

We have too much in common. When you go, I go with you, when you cry, I weep with you, and when you live, I live. The truth is, all I am today and what I stand for is because of you, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are all that matters to me, I love you so much that my heart hurts. You gave me a life."

Like frozen you stare at him.

You’re not moving, any more than you were during his entire speech.

Silent tears run from your eyes like little streams. Laughing nervously, the hacker also wipes away some tears that he has lost while he poured out his heart and laid it at your feet.

"I also don’t know where that came from," he murmurs in embarrassment and clears his throat.

You don’t know how to react, should you fall into his arms and crush him? Should you kiss him until you can’t breathe? Should you just burst into tears? Or maybe all together?

Your head has trouble processing all its words and your associated feelings, you don’t know if this is really happening. Whether that’s real, whether you’re awake, whether you’re even alive.

It all seems like a dream, like a dream you never want to wake up from, but that’s the beauty. This moment is real, and it is yours.

"Please say something" his voice trembles slightly and he looks up into the sky, "I am afraid that you get up and run away after what I have said."

The worry in his voice finally lets you break out of your trance. Stormily, your arms wrap around his neck to pull him into a hug. From the momentum and the suddenness he has no chance to hold himself upright and tilts with you to himself, backwards. He groans painfully as he comes up on the ground and remains rigidly lying down. You’re hanging on him, clawing at him like someone’s trying to pull you away from him, hiding your head between his neck and his shoulder. Loudly you sob up and a tremble shakes your whole body.

"I love you," you croak weepy. Your voice sounds as if you have excruciating pain, but at this moment you are the happiest person in the world. "I love you so much Jake, so unbelievable that it hurts"

"I love you, too, my dear," he whispers and wraps his arms tightly around your upper body.

"I don’t know what to say. Or rather where to start" a little laugh leaves your lips, "I don’t know how to give it all back to you."

Jake grumbles, "You don’t have to answer or return anything. Please don’t say anything and take it like that," he asks, "Don’t say anything and just kiss me."

Of course you’ll grant him his wish right away. You straighten up and wipe the tears from your face. You put your hands on his cheeks and look deep into his eyes. He smiles as he wipes a few strands of hair from your face and pulls your head down to him and closes his lips with yours.

You stay there until the sun rises.

🌹🎭

[lag1995-fics]

Hiii! Can i request a dadneto where Peter has a secondary mutation that also makes him metallokinetic like Erik? And then when he finally shows the X-men, Erik finally connects the dots? 😳😳

Of course you can love I’ll never say no to dadneto ❤️❤️❤️ sorry for the wait I just started a new job. I hope you enjoy the story ❤️

Forks

Pairing: none

Warning: I drop the f-bomb a bit

Words:1480

Summary: When Peter and Scott get into an argument, Peter loses his temper revealing his secondary mutation.

Masterlist

///::::///

Peter had always been really careful about hiding his secondary mutation. If people saw him moving metal it wouldn’t be hard to jump to the correct conclusion about his and Erik’s familial bond. It was just easier to keep that bit to himself. He wanted to tell Erik but he also didn’t want to be a 27 year old man trying to take the place of his dead 8 year old sister. He wanted to naturally build a relationship with his father, maybe then he could tell him.

They were supposed to be having a team building dinner that night. Peter knew why as well, he and Scott had been bickering constantly. It was obvious that Scott blamed Peter for his brother's tragic death. Scott had no way of knowing that the flames had already engulfed Alex. Peter also didn’t want to harp on that but too much Scott needed to grieve lord know he lashed out like an asshole when Wanda disappeared. If Scott needed to blame someone Peter didn’t mind being that person.

Everyone else thought it was obvious that Scott was being a major jerk wad and would often try to come to Peter’s defense. Scott rarely saw it but Peter would always wave off the defenders, often with comments of “let him have this” or “it’s okay, he needs to get these emotions out.” He could be the bigger person he was ten years older than Scott, it was just part of being a grown up.

***

The time came for the team building dinner and Peter’s mouth was already watering at the prospect of delicious ooey, gooey pizza. His mother had often told him his stomach was like a bottomless pit. Peter burned a hell of a lot of calories though and he had to constantly eat to make up for that.

He took his seat between Raven and Hank rubbing his hands together in anticipation. They looked at him with various looks of both disgust and amusement. Peter could care less pizza was the food of gods right behind twinkies.

It was no time before everyone had a seat at the table and Peter immediately started inhaling the Pizza. He was halfway through his 8th slice when Scott decided to open his mouth.

“That’s disgusting” he sneered and Peter could only grin at him.

“I burn a lotta calories plus Pizza is delicious!” Peter exclaimed brightly he was unbothered by Scott’s half hearted insult.

“Can you lay off for once this is supposed to be about team building,” Jean groaned, fed up with her boyfriend's childish behavior. Peter remained unbothered though, he knew what Scott was going through. It had been the same for him after Wanda disappeared.

“It’s fine Jean he’s just a kid, he doesn’t bother me,” Peter told the red haired girl light heartedly.

“Well it bothers me. Scott, what happened to Alex was not Peter’s fault, Alex was closest to the blast,” Jean shot out to her boyfriend obviously fed up with his shit.

“What bothers me is how nonchalant he is about the whole thing, it’s like he doesn’t even care” Scott was starting to get worked up and Peter wished that Jean could have just left it alone. He managed a glance at Erik who was ignoring everyone in favor of his newspaper. Charles who was beside him looked like he had a migraine starting. It was Charles idea for team building after all and Erik had the look of I told you so without even saying a word.

“You think I don’t care?” Peter asked, he didn’t want Scott to think he didn’t care. It weighed heavily on his mind that he hadn’t gotten there in time to save Scott’s brother. He was always too late for someone with super speed.

“I know you don’t fucking care!” Scott’s face was inflamed and red.

“Scott! Language!” Charles snapped.

“Well you’re wrong Scott I do care. I’m always too late and I’m sorry I didn’t get to Alex in time.” Peter was sincerely sorry that he hadn’t been in time. He would never wish the pain of losing a sibling on anyone.

“Well fuck you! You don’t know what it’s like to lose a sibiling! Alex was all that I had!” Scott screamed and Peter felt a trill of Anger run down his spine his fork started to vibrate subtly and Raven looked at it with wide eyes before looking at him sharply. Peter didn’t notice his mind was full of images of his sister.

“Don’t act like you know me Scott, the only reason I’ve let you go on and on like you have is because I know exactly what you’re going through.” Peter seethed and he knew he should be embarrassed that he let a seventeen year old goad him like this.

“Fuck You! Alex died, you didn’t save him. You don’t know what it’s like to lose a brother” Scott spat. By now Erik had lowered his paper watching the interaction with veiled interest. Charles had a look of anger at the boys for ruining his team building dinner.

“Oh I might not know what it’s like to lose a brother but I lost my twin sister when we were your age! She just disappeared. I have no clue if she’s alive or dead and I promise you that’s worse!” Peter spat and the silverware began rising into the air with his skyrocketing temper. If he had been looking he would have seen the color drain from Erik’s face.

“Erik you’re only making it worse!” Charles snapped thinking it was Magneto getting irritated and wanting to silence the boys. Peter realizing what he had done let the silverware drop with a metallic clatter. The anger drained rapidly.

“Charles it’s not me.” His tone was choked as he stared at the silver haired mutant with new eyes. Peter unsure of what to do in the rising tension decided the logical answer was to bolt from the room.

He was by the fountain in second trying to calm his ragged breathing and approaching panic attack. The cat was truly out of the bag now. He placed his head between his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Inside Erik was still staring at the spot Peter had just disappeared from. His mind was trying to catch up. He had another child, a living child. Peter was clearly Magda’s son, he had her sunny disposition, he obviously hadn’t inherited that from him. Then his stomach sank again. He had twins and one of them was missing for over ten years. Peter had been dealing with this pain on his own.

“Fountain,” Charles' voice whispered in his head, “go to him he needs you. He’s afraid you’ll reject him.”

Erik wondered how such a brilliant person like Peter could ever think that he would reject him. If anything Erik wasn’t worthy of the boy, he was such a bright beacon in the dark miserable world. He began to walk to the fountain, his mind replaying a very specific memory. Almost ten years ago a silver haired teenager had broken him out of his prison with a grin and a sharp wit. He had also made an off hand comment.

“So you can control metal?” Peter had asked and Erik who was still disoriented had only nodded.

“That cool my mom knew a guy who could do that,” the statement had been so off handed and nonchalant. Erik should have known then but he had been distracted by a walking Charles who promptly punched him square in the jaw. The off hand comment had been pushed to the back of his mind.

He found Peter with his head between his knees close to a panic attack. He sat next to the boy and laid a hand on his shoulder. Peter jerked looking at him in surprise.

“Your mother was Magda,” it was a statement not a question. Peter only nodded with wide brown eyes. His mother’s eyes, it felt like a punch to the gut.

“I’m not trying to replace Nina, I swear!” Peter choked out, “I wouldn’t want someone to try and replace Wanda.”

“You’re not replacing anyone my boy, you are your own person. A good person that I don’t deserve. You’re my son and I love you. I may not have known you for very long but family is forever,” Erik declared and Peter sniffles before throwing himself into his fathers arms like he was five and not twenty seven. Erik hugged his son back as they both fought back their tears.

“Forever” Peter agreed and one of the cracks in his heart healed. He wasn’t whole but he had one more person to add to his list of loved ones. He only hoped he could find Wanda one day. Erik would love her; they were both so much alike.

Thank you for reading feel free to drop a request.

[petersasteria]

For Charity Purposes - Harry Holland

Harry || Main || Taglist

Requested? Nah. 1,392 words Y/C = Your Country

* * * *

Tom couldn’t believe his eyes when he read an email from your team. He was a fan of yours and he admires the work that you do. He followed you on every social media platform and he was happy that you were happy doing your job as the current Miss Universe.

Upon reading your email, Tom called Harry from his room and Harry came rushing in. “What?!” Harry panicked.

“Y/N, our current Miss Universe, just emailed me. Well, us. She emailed us.” Tom rambled and Harry nodded. Unbeknownst to Tom, Harry also liked you. So hearing his brother telling him about you emailing him made him a little bit jealous. He shook it off, though. He didn’t want some silly fight.

“What did she say?” Harry asked. He was nervous for some reason. After all, it’s not everyday that they get an email from you.

“She’s asking if we could meet and collaborate for a charity. I think it’s a wonderful idea, don’t you think?” Tom asked and Harry nodded. Harry checked his phone’s calendar and said, “We’re free for, like, two weeks. Just email her your number and tell her that we’re free for two weeks and that she should just call you in her free time.”

Tom nodded and replied to your email with Harry standing behind him. Harry corrected a few words before Tom clicked ‘send’. The two of them go on with their day until Tom gets a call from an unknown number two days later.

“Hello?” Tom answered warily, interrupting his peaceful breakfast with his brothers. After all, it could be anyone.

“Hi! May I please speak to Mr. Holland?” Your assistant asked nicely.

“Who is this?” Tom asked, earning a look from Harry and Sam. “Hang up if you don’t know them.” Sam whispered jokingly as Tom glared at him and shook his head.

“I’m Allie Cruz, Ms. Y/L/N’s personal assistant and I’m calling about the Brothers Trust collaboration.”

Tom’s eyes widened and mouthed to his brothers, “It’s Y/N’s assistant.” Harry and Sam’s jaws dropped.

“Yes, this is Tom speaking.” Tom said.

“Mr. Holland, I have Ms. Y/N on the phone for you and she would like to speak to you about the collaboration.” Allie said. “When are you available to speak to her?”

“N-Now, actually.” Tom said, standing up from his seat and walking to his room.

“Wonderful! I’ll transfer the call to her.” Allie said sweetly before transferring the call to you. Your phone rang and you answered it immediately, “Hello, this is Y/N.”

“Hi, it’s Tom!” Tom exclaimed.

“Oh, hi! Yes, I really want to collab with you, guys! I’m a huge fan of all of you.” You told him in all honesty.

“We’re huge fans of YOU. You’re amazing and we love the work that you do and it means so much to us that you want to work with us.” Tom said.

You smiled, “Same here! I was thinking we could do a film viewing and the money goes to a foundation in my country.”

“I love that! I was thinking we could view my mate’s movie… if that’s alright with you.” Tom suggested.

“Sure! What is it?” You asked.

“168 Hours.” Tom answered.

“Oh! I haven’t watched it yet, so that’s wonderful!” You smiled. Both of you discussed everything before you ended the call. Tom walked back to the dining area with a big smile on his face before explaining everything to his brothers.

It was now the day of the film viewing and you were live streaming the movie on YouTube and a lot of people were donating before it even started. It was just the countdown and you arrived at Tom’s house to watch the movie together.

Of course, safety protocols were followed.

You and Tom sat across from each other and smiled at the camera when the countdown was over.

“Hi! I’m Y/N and this is Tom.” You introduced and Tom waved. “We would like to thank you all for watching 168 Hours with us.”

“All proceeds will go to (Your/Chosen/Charity) in Y/C. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this movie with us.” Tom smiled.

The movie started and you and Tom were free to do whatever you want. You sat comfortably on your chair and paid attention to the movie. You and Tom occasionally conversed, but he was too nervous to actually keep the conversation going.

Harry used his brother’s weakness as his edge. Despite being nervous by simply being in your presence, he gathered up courage to grab a chair to sit next to you.

“Hi.” Harry whispered.

You glanced at him and smiled, “Hello. You’re Harry. I love your pictures.”

He blushed and looked away for a second. A million thoughts were running through his head, but the main thought that ran in his mind was the fact that at some point in your busy life, you had the time to look through his pictures and remember him. It was sweet and it made him happy.

“Thank you.” He finally replied and you grinned.

“You’re welcome.” You said before paying attention to the screen. Both of you didn’t say anything for a while when an idea crossed your mind. You bit your lip and said, “Can you teach me sometime?”

Harry’s head fully turned to you and his eyes were wide. You were nervous, but you did a great job at hiding it. Harry blinked a few times and smiled, “Sure, and um, I hope I could take your pictures someday.”

“Really?” You smirked.

“Um,” Harry faked a cough, “For charity purposes… obviously.”

“Right, right.” You nodded along with a teasing grin. “For charity. Since it’s for charity, I’ll go for it. Name a time and place and I’ll be there.”

“Great! So, can I get your number?” Harry asked, a sudden wave of confidence coming over him.

“Let me guess. For charity purposes?” You joked, but he had a serious look on his face.

“That’s a plus, actually. But I want to take you on a date, if that’s alright.” He shrugged and you nodded.

“Okay.” You smiled. “I’ll go out with you.”

He smiled and handed you his phone after unlocking it. You quickly typed in your number and even took a selfie on his phone as your contact picture. You gave it back to him.

“I’ll be looking forward to that date.” You winked before watching the movie again, leaving Harry all smiley and excited.

The movie ended and you were saying goodbye to everyone and thanking them for having you. You were adjusting the crown on your head when Allie told you that they wanted a picture with you before leaving.

You smiled and posed for pictures with Tom and his brothers. They were really happy and they enjoyed your presence. In fact, they would consider their house blessed. You took selfies with each one of them and Harry was the last.

He normally didn’t take selfies or anything, but he wanted to change his lockscreen wallpaper.

After taking a few selfies with Harry, you told him, “It was nice meeting you, Harry.”

“It was nice meeting you too.” He smiled.

“Oh, before I leave, I was wondering if you’re interested in traveling the world with me? Y'know, to take pictures and make videos of everything so that when the time of giving the crown to the next Miss Universe comes, I have a video to submit for the montage.”

“So… for Miss Universe purposes?” He playfully asked and you laughed, nodding your head.

“Strictly for that purpose.” You said in a pretend serious voice.

“Okay, then. I’ll let you know.” Harry said with a small smirk on his face.

“Yes, please. The previous guy just resigned so yeah.” You told him. Allie called out for you because it was time to leave. She walked out first and you turned to Harry, “Text me?”

“Of course.” Harry assured. “Now, go. I think you have places to be.”

You smiled and quickly followed Allie while putting your mask on. When you got inside the car, your phone buzzed and it was a text from an unknown number, but you knew who it was.

Hey! Thank you for coming today. ‘Til the next charity event HAHAHA! Anyway, how about that date? x

* * * *

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @thatforgottenangel @turtoix @givebuckyhisplumsnow @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @yourstrulyamour @euphorichxlland @thevelvetseries @buckymylove @more-like-reyna @aayaissaa @sunwardsss

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @alinastarkrovs @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow @bi-lmg @emmastarz @moonchild-s-blog