#also i love the wording of 'the narrator's done some questionable stuff'
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some guy commented on my narrator + toriel fic saying "well the narrator's done some questionable stuff once or twice but he's not the one who let SIX children DIE just to SPITE her ex-husband" lmaoooo bro did you even play undertale? you can just say you have no reading comprehension it's okay
#like. of all the toriel slander i've seen this is by far the most ridiculous bc like#even on the most basic of levels it is so clearly wrong. toriel did not let the children go WITH THE INTENTION OF THEM DYING lmao#like her entire thing is not wanting kids to die and being overprotective because of it. that is a basic tenet of her character#and most toriel slander i've seen at least. knows this basic fact#they say shit like 'she's controlling and domineering' or 'she should've gone with them'#but this guy? no. they seem to believe that she. wanted them to die. to 'spite asgore'? how exactly would this spite him?#if i recall correctly (sarcasm. of course i recall correctly)#asgore was the one who WANTED the fallen humans to die.#or he didn't really want them to die deep down inside#but still he saw to it that they did. they would not be dead if it were not for him#and the anti-human laws he put in place#and his attempt to raise the kingdom's spirits by declaring war on humans.#i try to be as neutral as possible on any given character but you can't deny that that's an objective fact.#if toriel let them die she would be helping asgore's purposes.#her entire goal by living in the ruins is to take in fallen humans and protect them#so asgore DOESN'T kill them. so she can thwart his plans THAT way.#also i love the wording of 'the narrator's done some questionable stuff'#he exploded stanley. he erased all of stanley's friends and coworkers. he has made stanley's existence a living hell for god knows how long#i mean yeah yeah it's not really him who's in control they're both slaves to the narrative and all that#but he holds a lot of power over stanley and he uses it. and abuses it.#to act like wilful sadistic murder is on the same level as a distraught bereaved mother#trying to save other children from the fate her own suffered and becoming overprotective in the process#is just ridiculous. lol#anyways i deleted the comment :] no toriel slander under toriel-sympathetic fics pleeeaaase
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Book Openings I Love
Deciding how to start your book is an important and daunting question. I put together a list of book openings I love- and what makes them so good- to help brainstorm.
If you have any you'd like to add, please do! Let's keep this post ongoing.
1) Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan
Anyone who read this book as a kid will know exactly what I mean.
'The Lightning Thief' starts with a warning to the reader to stop reading the book immediately and believe whatever lies their parents have told them. Otherwise, 'they' might come for them.
An adult might roll their eyes at this, but as a kid, you believe it. You find yourself wondering if what you're reading is true. It makes you feel like you're a part of this story- even if you haven't realized it yet. So, as you read on, you might end up looking for the signs and clues that this world of Greek gods and monsters exists around you in real life. The lines between fiction and reality blur, if only for a little while, and you become immersed in the story, because on some level, you can't help but want it to be real.
It also leaves you feeling that by reading this, you're doing something forbidden- something dangerous. Exactly the kind of stuff that gets your heart racing as a kid.
2) Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Life of Pi is one of my favorite books of all time, and the beginning has a lot to do with it.
"This book was born as I was hungry. Let me explain."
The book begins with an author's note that's not exactly an author's note. It begins as any author's note might- the writer explains how his previous publication was a bust, and that he took a trip to India to reinvigorate his creativity as he tried to write a new book that ultimately sputtered and died. That was, until he met a man who promised to tell him a story that will make him believe in God. The man then told him to seek out the main character, who is alive, and living in Canada. When the author does, he agrees that his story is indeed a story to make one believe in God, and commits to writing it down as a book through the main character's point of view, only with the disclaimer "any inaccuracies or mistakes are mine."
As they follow this progression, because of the way it's all structured, there's a good chance the reader might find themselves asking "Wait, is this a true story?"
The answer is of course no, and anyone who's read through most of the book would probably figure that out easily. However, if you get to the ending, you realize the question "Is this a true story?" has significant implications for the story's themes- and that makes them all the more resonant.
TL;DR: Life of Pi's beginning does the same as The Lightning Thief's beginning, only in a less obvious way that's far more effective on adults.
3) One of Us is Lying by Karen M. McManus
The premise of "One of Us is Lying" is that someone killed a boy named Simon, and that the people in the room when it happened- who just so happen to be the four POV characters- are the main suspects. The book then starts off my immediately putting the reader in the scene where Simon dies.
Now I'm not sure if this is a common mystery novel set up (I haven't read enough of this genre to know), but it's an effective one. This has the effect of getting the reader engaged in the story right from the get-go. Instead of passively reading the chain of events, the people who picked up the book are already going to be searching in between the lines for any clues on 'who done it.'
But not only is the reader looking all the little details in the scene, but they're also going to be questioning the POV of the person narrating the chapter. From the very start of the story, the reader gets immersed in several levels of tension that hook them and carry them through the rest of the story.
4) The Giver by Lois Lowry
"It was almost December, and Jonas was beginning to be frightened. No. Wrong word, Jonas thought. Frightened meant that deep, sickening feeling of something terrible about to happen."
The first chapter begins with a scene of an aircraft flying overhead a peaceful community, and a child narrator who's overly careful about using the right words to describe things. The narrator's trait doesn't appear to be unique though- a quick flashback to a moment in his classroom shows that this tendency has been drilled into him, just as with any other kid. The reader immediately gets the sense that something is off. What that something is, though, is a bit harder to pin.
There doesn't seem to be anything nefarious going on, aside from maybe the mention of a citizen getting 'released' after the aircraft landed and everything calmed down. Only, later in that chapter, being 'released' gets mentioned twice again at his family dinner, as his parents discuss how their work went that day. But otherwise, the dinner seems to be a normal and mundane affair with an emotionally mature, functional family. Maybe a little too functional.
So, when Jonas decides that the feeling he's experiencing is 'apprehensive,' the readers start to feel that way too.
5) A Natural History of Dragons by Marie Brennan
The preface and first chapter of "A Natural History of Dragons" does a great job of introducing one of the series's greatest assets: its main character.
"One benefit of being an old woman now, and moreover one who has been called a "national treasure," is that there are very few who can tell me what I may and may not write."
In the preface of the book, we find out exaclty who the main character/narrator is: a famous Victorian-era woman and accomplished dragon scholar, who's too old to care about being a 'proper lady' anymore. What's more, she's writing a series of memoirs about her life to satisfy the many adoring fans who have been writing her letters in hopes of hearing about the juicy gossip of her famous expeditions.
The narration oozes with personality from the very beginning, and that's before we even get to meet any dragons. Following this introduction, we get to see where her passion for dragon studies began: collecting little dragon "sparklings" as a kid. While her fictional readers would know these little creatures as commonplace in her world, the actual readers don't, since this world is as new to us as it was to her as a child. As such, the reader gets to share in her childlike wonder, and gets excited by the promise to discover the secrets of dragons right along with her.
#creative writing#writing#writers of tumblr#writers on tumblr#writing community#novel writing#writerscommunity#book blog#bookblr#books#writing advice#on writing#writer stuff#writer#writeblr#long post#booklr#books and reading#reading
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LOVE, WATER, FIRE
What is your best writing advice?
"Show don't tell" doesn't mean what you think it does. Learn it better, and free yourself from a half-understood mnemonic.
When you show, you slow. Learn THAT one backward and forward as well; it won't fix pacing issues overnight, but it'll help you understand what causes them.
Writing fanfiction? Go back to the source material FREQUENTLY, or you'll lose all sense of the characters and end up writing someone unrecognizable.
If you struggle to block out action sequences, genuine advice? Think in terms of combat rounds in D&D. Not literally, of course, nobody should be taking rigorous turns, but: Play out the action in your head. If six seconds have gone by, everyone in this sequence should have done something. That thing could be charging into melee range--noting that this extra combatant is running toward the fight but hasn't gotten there yet. It could be reloading a weapon. It could be clutching their side in shock and wheezing. They don't need to be Selecting A Combat Action, but fight scenes become incoherent when you lose track of who's doing what. When you forget about Goon #3 and then have him show up again doing something that doesn't remotely track with where you last left him. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO INCLUDE THEM IN THE NARRATION if they're not important! If two seconds ago your protagonist kicked a guy off the dock, we can safely assume they'll spend at least the next several "combat rounds" climbing back out. But at any given moment, YOU should know where everyone is, what they're doing, and why.
But most importantly:
Anyone purporting to give The End-All Be-All Writing Advice is either delusional or a scam. Yes, including or perhaps especially famous bestselling authors. What works for them won't necessarily work for you, and there are plenty of people who don't even like their work. You're never going to be whoever's advice you try to mimic. Write your stuff, not theirs.
Do you prefer urban fantasy or high fantasy?
Yes!
Genuinely though. They're both good and they both serve their respective narratives in some way. In general I'm more drawn to high fantasy, personally, but I'm never not going to be interested in a well-done urban fantasy.
Pedantic nitpick though, these things are not the opposites they are being portrayed as. I think what the question was GOING for was actually "low vs high fantasy" which is a completely separate concept. Words mean things! But also, I'm not an ass, and the intent was pretty clear.
(High Fantasy: This story is set in a completely separate world from ours, with no crossover into our known and lived reality. ANY completely separate world, regardless of technology level! STAR WARS IS HIGH FANTASY. This is not an opinion, this is a genre fact.
Low Fantasy: The story is set partially in our world or includes crossover or other intrinsic connections to a realistic world that follows the same rules and expectations of our world. Isekai and portal fantasies like Narnia fall into this category, as do hidden-world/veiled-magic fantasies like the Bad Wizard Lady Books, Percy Jackson, and Artemis Fowl; and also a lot of true-anthropomorphic fiction like Watership Down, Warriors, etc. Note that "low fantasy" does NOT mean "gritty" fantasy or fantasy that focuses on the lower classes instead of nobles, nor does it mean a low-magic pseudo-medieval setting
Urban Fantasy: A story with fantasy tropes and themes that takes place in an urban setting. Can be low or high fantasy!)
What is the worst thing you've ever created?
Okay so this one time in high school me and my best friend Sam were trying to make lemon bars at his house and to this day we do NOT know what the hell ingredient we neglected to add to the lemon bars
but given the state of the results, there is a non-zero chance that the ingredient we forgot was flour.
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Hi hi!!! This is for the ask the characters event!
For the boys (Sun, Moon, Eclipse) any favorite flowers? If you got the choice of a vehicle, what would you prefer (like cars, trucks, motorcycles, ect...), any hobbies you are or would like to get into?
Moon, what's your favorite kind of drink to make?
Eclipse, if you had to choose, what kind of client do you prefer to deal with? What would you say your relationship with Dante is?
Sun, when you perform, are there any dances or performances you like more than the others?
Possibly Dante if he's taking asks, which of the boys is your favorite? How do you feel about Eclipse (in general). How would you describe yours and Eclipses relationship? How well would you say he functions and does his job?
Also, a little question for you, our lovely narrator! How are the characters perceiving us? Are we just voices? Clients or customers talking to them? How insane can we make this? Btw I love you and this au, it's such an interesting story already and your designs are so stunning! I love Sun and Moon so much.
Sun: My, my so many questions sweetheart!
Well, for flowers I'm very fond of daffodils! They're quite beautiful, so it's always a treat when I receive them! My choice of vehicle would be a motorcycle. I'd imagine it'd feel so freeing and thrilling! Not to mention the almost tender closeness of holding onto your partner while you ride. Sounds dreamy~ *soft sigh* As for hobbies, I'd love to get into flower arranging. I quite enjoy flowers a lot and do my best to keep the ones I’m gifted as long as I can.
When it comes to performances, I prefer more group choreography ones! I do enjoy the limelight but it’s also nice to not be the center of attention every once in a while. Not to mention I get to socialize with the other entertainers while we practice so that’s a nice little bonus!
Moon: I don’t normally get flowers like Sun does. I do enjoy irises though. I prefer cars, maybe something vintage. Don’t have many hobbies, but I enjoy reading the most.
My favorite is simple drinks. Like margaritas. The more simple, the less hassle.
Eclipse: Tch. I don’t have time to pick favorites. I have work that needs to get done, and thinking about what kind of fucking flower I like or some shit isn’t my top priority. But I guess I like cars or whatever. I don’t have time for hobbies. I’m busy.
A client that keeps their mouth shut and lets me do my work is preferred. Dante is technically my boss but we’re business partners. I take care of a lot of important shit for him.
Dante: Interesting questions.
I prefer Sun the most out of my bots. Eclipse is nothing more than an extension of myself for me to use as I see fit. I had him made to allow me some reprieve with the intricacies of the club and my fellow associates. A lot goes on in Eden that deserves my attention and Eclipse allows me to be in two places at once, while also providing judgement when it comes to my ‘employees’.
He does his main job well enough, and the occasional clientele performance helps pay back the debt he owes me for his creation. Though his aggression is an unexpected factor. He’s done well to keep himself in check, but if he slips up I’m more than happy to guide him back on the right path with a heavy hand.
WAH ANON!!! You’re so sweet, thank you so much for all the kind words!!!!! I’m so happy to hear you enjoy the AU so much!!!!!! 🥺💕💕
Also with the boys, I guess you could say it’s a little bit like one of those shows where people are divided by a curtain and anonymously ask questions and stuff! You interact with them, just not directly if that makes sense!
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2024 Book #1: The Hanging City by Charlie N. Holmberg
Intended Audience: Adult Genre: Romantasy (Romance-focused fantasy) Length: 335 pages Finished: February 17th, 2024
Narration: single narrator, first person pov
Summary: In a fantasy world consumed by an endless drought, a young woman on the run from her father has arrived at the last place that might take her in: the troll city under the greatest bridge ever built. But in order to get in, she must tell the leaders of her strange magic ability - she can push fear onto others, though she'll feel it too. As Lark, our MC, tries to fit into trollis (their preferred term) society, she finds herself struggling to fit in when kindness and compassion don't get you far in a society of strength. But some trollis soften to her, especially a handsome one named Azmar that Lark can't stop thinking about, no matter how dangerous it is.
Review: This is a very good book. Lark is a fun, compassionate, and quick thinking main character whose mistakes are understandable and who uses all the information at her disposal in clever ways. I loved how her compassion and struggle to fit in led to so much of the conflict in the story, and I loved how it also was a huge part of her success in the story, too. Lark's relationships with other characters, including Azmar and Unach, who she lives with, are just so, so good. I loved the job that Lark ended up with - monster hunting - and I really appreciate how it never stops being relevant to the story, both in activity and in social situations. In fact, this is just a very tightly written little book and everything circles around in some very fantastic ways.
The writing is lovely, too. I really enjoy the way this author writes books - I own a few of them - and I find there's a nice cadence to the words. It's smooth to read. And that spreads into how information is given to the reader, as well. Everything feels very smooth and easy flowing.
And, just to come back around, I really, really love compassionate protagonists. I love when characters want to help others, no matter the cost, and sometimes make stupid decisions because of that. Lark is such a fantastic protagonist who works around everything she is given. I love her. I love Azmar, too.
I think my biggest problem is that this is a seriously closed door romance. A few on-screen kisses and that's about it. Some light references. I would have loved to see more - I prefer my romances a little smuttier - but YMMV.
Just a fantastic book, seriously. So glad it was my first of the year.
Things I liked, specifically:
The romance was good. I understood why Lark was attracted to Azmar, and even though we never get Azmar's point of view, it was clear to me why he liked her. Watching them fall for each other was just adorable. Also, I love when a romance doesn't rely on badly done miscommunication for its third act drama. This does something SO GOOD that has nothing to do with that!
The worldbuilding was really neat. This is a standalone, so there's a lot of questions left unanswered, but the answers we got were fun. I also loved how it tied into the plot, as well as the culture of the trollis. You really get a sense for what their people value when the architecture is described. It's very evocative. And the cultural bits we get, the government and tax and law systems, the currency and caste stuff. God it's all so good and intriguing. Layered in just enough, in my opinion.
The friendships. There are so many good supporting characters in this story, including Unach, the trollis woman originally assigned to look over Lark. She's Azmar's sister and she's basically my fave. She's so gruff and short-tempered but also fantastic. Love her. I loved all of the supporting characters. All of them were well-written, well-rounded, and had motivations that were clear to me.
LARK. Again, emphasizing that Lark is just a fantastic, compassionate and kind protagonist. She is tired of fighting. Tired of having to hurt others. She wants a family, friends, and peace, and it is beautiful to watch her strive for her.
The themes. Sometimes you can't change a place, only you can change. Family isn't what your born into, but the people who will accept you no matter what you are. It is always right to try and save others. What is a monster? What is a man? Just to name a few that I personally pulled out of the story that I just adored the execution of. It's so good. And the trollis society embodies both good and bad, and you get to see the way it echoes into the themes and guh.
Rating: 4 1/2 stars.
Recommended for: Fans of romance who enjoy good worldbuilding, fans of Holes, fans of Gentle Giant men.
#book reviews#books#reading#bookblr#charlie n holmberg#the hanging city#amreading#lace speaks#lace reads#lace reviews#lace reviews books
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Well at least everyone from different races are shitting on the society of magical negroes trailer. Also it was white people who caused the most damage to black people. Yeah it was white people who abused the living shit out of Tyler Perry as a child and also molested and raped him several times growing up.
Wait his main abuser was his father, he was raped by a friend mom, sucked by a male family friend, etc.
All of whom seem to be black, hence why most of his early career is him becoming coping with his trauma.
You don’t put subplots of domestic violence, CSA, and SA in your films constantly unless you been through it or seen it. You just fucking don’t
Sorry for the heavy subject, I just want to use a prolific black creator on who causing the most trouble to black people.
Also if they can do magic, why no use healing magic to heal crackheads, oh a lot of kids who got shot thanks to gun violence would love that. Oh what about resurrecting LB Johnson and Regan for the damage they did to our community too? The Kennedys can beat up Johnson after black people are done.
Ugh it feel like modern black Hollywood is made by people who didn’t picked up the middle fingers boondocks were giving them
Also when was the last time we had a magical negro? Some say Morgan Freeman roles…but he old as hell so he prefer less active roles.
I mean I seen the rise of magical black bitch boys like what nick fury became after captain marvel join the MCU.
>Also it was white people who caused the most damage to black people.
like I said I don't want to bring statistics into things too much here, if we were to look up the #1 killer of black Americans, non natural death edition, it ain't gonna be white people.
Haven't seen a lot of movies recently so I couldn't toss out someone who would qualify for that title in the last decade or so off the top of my head, Will Smith in "The Legend of Bagger Vance" is quoted as one a lot, someone tried to convince me that Morgan Freeman was one in "Shawshank Redemption" problem with that one book has the character of Red listed as a white Irishman, my theory Freeman got the role because there's not many others out there folks would like to hear narrating it.
Also don't know about any of that Tyler Perry stuff, but I'll take your word for all of that.
I'm mostly glad to hear that there's people of all stripes calling this out, it's nice to know that's finally happeing.
Got the hat trick of the woman king, Cleopatra, and now this Hannibal thing all of which are serving up a good deal of schadenfreude for those of us who have been trying to point out the wild hypocrisy of ahistorical, faux history nonsense for years now.
The only real question is will it wind up making a difference.
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for the ask game :)
i carry it in mine + 3, 13, 14
howl + 9, 15
the ask game
ty for the questions!!
i carry it in mine - tag, ao3
3. what’s your favorite line of narration?
hmm it currently stands at 45k words so hard to pick just one but i'm p sure this was the line that i was like first working towards when i started writing it
He means to make me queen, she thinks, her legs turning to jelly as she sinks to the floor.
like the scenes in chapter 6 and 7 at the wall where he shows her his mark/she realizes the full implications of it all were for sure like one of THEEEE inciting visuals i had
13. what music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?
i actually write mostly in silence 😭 i can plot and write notes etc with the tv on or with music on but honestly i usually find it too distracting!!! i'm a big singer alonger and i really need to like. concentrate for the most part when i'm writing for real. nooooo clue what would be a good soundtrack for reading bc i would want vibes to be similar to like medieval period piece stuff so maybe something sort of instrumental???? or like a softly crooning female singer songwriter type of vibe. something a lil folksy perhaps???
actually wait i lied sometimes i listen to asmr videos on youtube!!! not that i recommend that per se lmao. but just a lil something to provide a bit of sensory stimulation so that i don't get like. bored.
14. is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?
hmmmm. i don't think i went into this fic with the intention of like "this is what i want readers to learn" so much as i was like wouldn't if be interesting if... and then if their places were switched....
but i will say that something i didn't expect while writing was how many people would be upset with jon in the beginning for not making sansa his priority number one. which i GET like it's a soulmate fic that's sort of the expectation and it's an uneven expectation because he knows something here that sansa doesn't. but i always kind of felt like.... sure sansa is something different to him here than in canon but at least in the beginning the love is very much the same and exists and always existed???? and i could have done a better job writing TO that if i wanted it to be clear but i think it never occurred to me that it wouldn't be. it's so clear to me in canon how much jon loves his family, including sansa, even though we never actually see them interact for ourselves. but the way he thinks about her is so sweet. and the memories he has of her are very tender.
i think probably for the most part anyone who stuck around found a way to move past that if it felt wrong/unfair to them but i guess if i had one thing i wanted people to learn it would be sometimes that your ability to help someone or be there for them is not always a reflection of the love that you have for them. sometimes circumstances are just complicated. sometimes there's nothing you can do. but that doesn't mean you don't love someone and have love for them and hurt for them and think about them etcetcetc.
i am very much a problem solver in my own life/relationships which i think frustrates people sometimes and also sometimes leaves me feeling useless if someone is upset about something and there's nothing i can do but sometimes just loving someone and making sure they know that is enough !!! not that jon does that either in the beginning i guess lol woops but he's very much a sad boy ok maybe cut him some slack 😭
howl - tag, ao3
9. were there any alternate versions of this fic?
WELL the first howl i banged out in literally a 72 hour period cribbing heavily from an old scream script i found online that wasn't quiiteeee screen accurate and there was only ever one version of that. BUT in the larger grand scheme sense of this i do have notes for a howl 3 and howl 4 so like. not alt versions but additional installments in theory!!
i think there in the initial like "casting" phase if you will i had different notions for what howl 2 would be. bc joffrey was an obvious billy but i was like then who is stu.... and then finagling howl 1 meant some changes for howl 2 but honestly those felt really right to me when i settled on them!!!!!
as for howl 3 that casting has also taken a LOT of finagling that probably still needs some ironing out so that has probably gone through a couple different mental makeovers about how exactly to handle the roman/john milton of it all but rest assured i have lots of thoughts!!!!!!
15. what did you learn from writing this fic?
WELL!!!! actually!!!!! one thing that always bugged me about scream 2 was sidney being an actress and doing theater when it felt so like antithetical to her character to put herself in the spotlight in any capacity. but it's so like baked into the movie that doing howl 2 i was like ok how do i keep it??? and in thinking about that for sansa i considered a lot about the interiority of the character and how like. sure it's putting yourself in the spotlight. but it's also an opportunity to step out of yourself and be somebody different which i think both sidney and sansa are really craving, especially when stab/knifed is putting them on a national stage in a lot of ways. so that was something i hadn't really thought about before!!
i also think there are lots of times watching a horror movie where you see a character doing something and you're like "NO WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT WHY AREN'T YOU DOING XYZ INSTEAD" and then when you're making it like prose narrative as opposed to a script and you're in their head you really have to make it make sense to yourself a lot more (like not just running away after the police car crash scene in scream 2/howl 2) and so that was something i felt like i learned more about too like. yes sometimes you are making a decision because it serves the plot. but also how can you reconcile that action with your character's needs/wants/turmoils/experience etc.
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why do you call it maroon fic ?
REMI! hi! ok i love this question & i'm gonna be long-winded about it because i'm a nerd. and i love writing. and byler. and taylor swift. so. you get a free maroon/byler analysis for your saturday.
a real fucking legacy, to leave is also called maroon fic whenever i post stuff because the title comes from the song maroon by taylor swift! this is one of my favorites off the midnights album, and i just have a lot of thoughts in general about this song buuuuut
when it comes to byler, i really enjoy thinking about how, when stripped down to a bare skeleton of a story, theirs is a story about love and loss. we meet two childhood friends, first through mike's eyes, and the whole first season is about mike trying to find his lost friend. and in some sense or another mike has been trying to find will (and will trying to find his way back to mike) since s1, because of the kidnapping, the possession, and the tension in their friendship across s3-s4. it's a story about two people who love each other but keep losing each other, especially when we consider it from mike's pov (catch me crying at the "maybe i lost you" line in s4).
anyways, with maroon now! one of my favorite parts of maroon is how the first chorus switches from the line: and i chose you, the one i was dancing with to the line and i lost you, the one i was dancing with. it's a simple change, but it tells the story taylor is sharing with us so incredibly well. it's a story of how this narrator went from choosing this person they love so much to losing them in the end—which i think just really mirrors mike's story very well in stranger things! will went from being such a priority in his life—so much so that he says meeting will is the best thing he's ever done—to then just time and time losing will again, first from the upside down then from his own distance and mistakes.
and here's where i get really nerdy, thanks to @wiseatom who pointed out that the official taylor swift music video for maroon has an incredibly niche detail within it:
that's a real fuckin' legacy, to leave
the comma between the words "legacy" and "to" add another little layer of nuance to the meaning behind this song, which i just looooove. that comma placement shifts the meaning slightly, implying that the legacy itself is leaving. the legacy left behind by the partner taylor is singing about in the song is leaving her.
so then, circling back to byler and from mike's pov, i could go on and on and on about how mike has a need to be needed and wanted and a fear of abandonment that stems from that, but i won't lol. the point i think about here is how the theme of love and loss is intertwined with byler as a whole, but then also specifically in this line, getting to explore the potential of mike's thought that it is, in a way, will who keeps leaving. mike keeps losing will, maybe not always as an intentional action on will's part, but it is always mike who loses will.
allllllll that to come back around and say this: i wanted to write a fic that explored the themes of love and loss in byler's story and then maroon came out and it just fit. the story kinda pieced together as it was about two people in a relationship, hence why i chose to explore established byler, so we could see those themes amplified to a greater extent than we even see in the show. :)
i could've answered that in 2 sentences, but i didn't bc i'm a nerd. so happy saturday 🤣
#byler#st x ts#i think i should get to analyze taylor swift songs and byler at least once a week#for my mental health#andi writes not dies
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In your opionion is there things that Engage did better than 3 Houses or things they did worse than 3 Houses ? if that is the case, which one and why ?
Those are two different questions, and ones that people have been bandying about online for months now. I thought for about five minutes about turning this into a video prompt, but there's already plenty exactly like this on YouTube - plus I'm currently working on way too much as it is.
What FE16 does better than FE17:
In general, character work - I say in general because there are characters I like in Engage and characters I very much don't in Houses, but the more substantive supports and other side interactions in the latter help the cast stand out more. They're also broken up more, so it's easier to focus on the groups you enjoy.
Non-Avatar queerness - So much lovely subtext, so many paired endings. I've done multiple videos centering around them, even. I said in a video a few months back that I dislike how so many of Engage's non-Avatar supports end with bland affirmations of friendship, which in combination with the lack of endings really kills the potential of pairings like Fogado/Bunet and Timerra/Merrin. Dimidue though? When their A support pivots around the word "friend" you just know that it's a euphemism, and that they'll be calling each other that mid-coitus that evening. Throw in around a dozen other pairings who've gotten big based on subtext and you've got a bunch to choose from.
Cozy life sim elements - The Somniel may be more streamlined and its loading screens slightly less agonizing, but the monastery better nails the feel of a persistent hub area - even if its coziness kind of undercuts the tone of the game's second half. This isn't something I'm really into, but I know a lot of fans get into stuff like gardening and fishing and tea time, and the calendar system and (weird) time progression does make Houses feel more like a life sim in contrast to the Somniel and its randomized character loadouts. Also, Engage has way more to grind for if you want to see everything, which is annoying. This is in contrast to...
100% Completion - It may be something only I care about, but Houses goes above and beyond any other mainline FE if you're a completionist. Of course there's the support logs and event gallery and such (features Engage doesn't even manage correctly), but there's also the in-game journal which provides a ludicrous but still doable 100% target in the form of watching a whole bunch of bars fill up very slowly over dozens of playthroughs. This requires so many spreadsheets to keep organized - love it!
What FE17 does better than FE16:
Story originality - Yes, really. Houses's story is three variations on the series standard plot, plus one other option - side with the conqueror -that Fates came up with first. Engage is the least politically-interested game in the series, and it barely even teases at a mundane war between nations before it's back to fighting zombies and collecting rings. Original doesn't necessarily mean good, but at least Engage knows exactly what kind of story it's trying to tell and what it can feasibly expect to do.
Tangible, linear worldbuilding - Engage isn't as ambitious, but it's more successful thanks to more traditional FE worldbuilding tools like talking to NPCs around the world as opposed to gathering them all in hub. The single story also helps keeps everything orderly and easy to understand, rather than going for an unreliable narrator + mystery box approach across multiple routes and half-assing the execution.
The Avatar - No contest here. Alear is an actual character with an identifiable arc, and while it's not the most compelling thing in the world it's leagues ahead of anything Byleth can claim. Byleth is a blank vessel for the player (and also Sothis for a while, lending them some facsimile of a character in the form of her reactions) with a ludicrously contrived backstory to justify why they are the way they are; Alear has fears and development and a backstory that's coherent even if it relies on a fair amount of cliché. Also, even in localization Alear as a god complex fantasy is undeniable, whereas Houses bends over backwards to act like a main source of its appeal isn't teacher-student sex. Speaking of -
Avatar queerness - Again, no contest - not that I especially care. Byleth's same-sex S rank options are limited, while Alear can give their not!engagement ring to every character regardless of gender, a huge step up in open-ended self-insert romance that gets mostly overlooked because they can also give the ring to preteens.
Understanding of FE's camp appeal - The above only underlines how much better Engage can be when it comes to the campy and the tasteless. From the ridiculous outfits to the Emblem stuff being compared to Saturday morning cartoons or Power Rangers or such to Zephia/Zelestia to the AU dragon incest wank nonsense, Engage wears its silliness on its sleeve. Houses doesn't totally lack that element, with stuff like the Proper Conduct Tournament and Manuela's...everything, basically, but like the teacher-student fetish it's hidden beneath this veneer of respectability that begins to grate after a while. Most of that is probably just overcorrection for the poor response to that sort of content in Fates, but it obviously didn't stick...not even for Fódlan content in Heroes. Look at the new duo Cathmir, and tell me these characters still aren't being sold on sex appeal aimed primarily at straight men.
Handling of characters of color - Not something I discuss often, but it has to be said. Solm is as developed of any of the other main four nations of Elyos, with just about as much of a role in the story and a presence in gameplay (i.e. you spend around half a dozen chapters there). There are still some oddities, like how the royals and NPCs are all dark-skinned but the retainer characters aren't, but compared to the various periphery nations of Fódlan it's a real standout and actually feels like a part of the world. Sreng is a plot device in Hopes, and even less than that in Houses. Duscur, Brigid, and Dagda basically only exist in relation to Dedue, Petra, and Shamir respectively. Even Almyra, from which we get two playable characters including one of the lords, barely appears at all, and most of Claude's Almyran heritage is left out of his writing because he spends the whole game disguising his identity.
Standard gameplay - I play on Normal and freely abuse time rewinding so my opinion here isn't going to be held in any regard, but go check out anywhere Engage is being discussed online and you'll see tons of tier lists and comparisons of builds and chapters and Emblems and whatever else. You know, the things that people ordinarily talk about when it comes to FE, and not -
Less enabling of toxic fandom elements - The inbuilt faction drama in a faux-serious war story, the continued growth of the anti phenomenon first seen when Fates was current, and a years-long global pandemic fostered endless division and conflict that persists to this day. It somehow even continues a year after the release of Hopes, now in the form of bashing Engage because it didn't sell as much (while still talking about its gameplay way more than I could ever bother, go figure) and IS is being more conservative with its Heroes appearances. There's still pointless nonsense to argue about here - like the aforementioned incest wank - but there's far less of it in a linear story that doesn't encourage players to latch as hard onto their favorites.
Non-100% replay value - Related to the gameplay, if you're not going for all the supports/bonds/achievements there's much more variety you can pull out of repeat playthroughs of Engage via the standard ways to mix up your runs in FE: using different characters, allocating resources differently, limiting yourself in certain ways etc. Houses's gameplay is so freeform and has such clear best options that for replays you're relying on the story...and there's exactly four stories. Worse, White Clouds is almost the same regardless of house, and there's a bunch of crossover content among the Part II routes as well, even Crimson Flower, which leads to it all feeling quite repetitive even if the narratives technically go to different places.
Nostalgic throwbacks - Not only the Emblems, but also the many legacy paralogues. These were a fun element of Awakening and Fates's DLC, and it's nice to see them brought back here with a bunch of callbacks for fans of those older games. Houses has...its batch of DLC classes all coming from Awakening, and the Archanean regalia appearing as random drops. Oh, and probably the least notable playable version of Anna ever.
Absurdly cute mascot factor - Could have talked about this under the camp factor, but some players get really into how adorable Sommie is. It's a fount of memes and goofy videos if nothing else. Is IS taking notes from Pokémon?
And yet I still prefer FE16 overall, because it better caters to my specific interests (gay stuff that doesn't involve Avatars, spreadsheets). The years of fandom toxicity are unfortunate, but I've grown accustomed to laughing at it when it amuses me and ignoring it when it doesn't.
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Climbing Chrash, “You have some weird New Years Eve/Day traditions”
“Boy oh boy, am I glad none of us went to school for psychology,” Chris said as he watched Josh and Ashley both furiously tear page after page out of their notebooks, each one getting an individualized tear-crumple-chuck experience, as though tossing the whole kit and kaboodle together just wasn’t insult enough. “We might have to sit down and unpack some of this if we had. Y’know. Done that.”
“I don’t seem to recall you questioning the wisdom of Ye Olde Burn Pit ten minutes ago, Cochise.” Josh paused for a second, his eye catching on something written on the page he’d only just torn out…and after getting past the first couple sentences, scowled like he’d gotten a big whiff of baking roadkill and shredded it to confetti. He tossed the handful of paper scraps into the bonfire with an Emeril Lagasse ‘Bam!’ then turned back to him. “All fun and games when it’s your shame, huh?”
It was hard to say when it had started, their strange little tradition, but the appeal of the New Year’s Day blaze was hard to deny: While everyone else was sleeping off the festivities of the night before, their resolutions already halfway abandoned by the time the hangover wore off, the three of them hunkered down in the Washington’s sprawling backyard and, well, did something a little more actionable than making themselves a million stupid promises to go to the gym more.
They roasted the old year like a stale old bag of marshmallows.
With a grunt of effort, Ashley dislodged the metal spiral from her notebook and set it aside. Unlike Josh, she didn’t give into the temptation of reading her old stuff, instead wadding each page up into a tight, miserable ball before throwing it into the flames. Already her palms were streaked with graphite. “Yeah, you couldn’t get rid of your old programming notes fast enough, could you?”
“That,” he said, raising his brightly colored energy drink can to his mouth, “was completely different.”
“Wow.”
“Okay.”
“It was! It absolutely was! I just wanted to pretend like the last couple semesters never happened – you two, on the other hand…” He lifted his other hand too late, one of Ashley’s paper balls bouncing off his forehead and falling to the ground. Chris pretended it’d been enough to knock him out, momentarily ragdolling in his chair before grabbing the ball from the dead, crunchy grass and quickly uncrumpling it. His time was short, he knew, so he read as quickly as he could: “‘Only once the moon hung in the air, a bright and mournful face behind the clouds, did she realize her mistake. To be alone? There, amid the danger pressing down around the estate? Why, it was – ’”
“Agh!” Ashley sprang up from her own seat, grabbing desperately at the piece of paper. “That’s not even funny!” she said, her arms stretching and fingers wiggling as Chris, clearly pleased with himself, leaned farther and farther back in his folding chair to keep it out of her grasp.
He grinned a big, cheesy grin up at her. “Then why are you laughing?”
“I’m not!”
“Think you are, Ash,” Josh teased, and neither of them had noticed him getting up at all, but suddenly he was behind Chris, snatching the paper before Ashley could get at it. “‘Why, it was madness,’” he continued in a true crime narrator’s drone, only the shape of his smirk giving the words any emphasis. “‘After everything she’d seen, everything that had befallen her companions, it was tantamount to offering herself as sacrifice to a vengeful and uncaring god.’ Holy cow, Agatha Christie, the melodrama though. I love – hey!”
But two could play at that game. Er…three. Three could play at that game.
Instead of settling for a single sheet, Ashley grabbed one of Josh’s notebooks wholesale, climbing up onto her chair as though that would prevent either of them from snatching it back out of her hands. She turned to a random page, then, without wasting a second, also began reading. “‘Exterior shot. Old house. Just super, super old. The oldest, most crusty house you’ve ever seen in your life. Ivy vines in the brick, cracks in the window, classic stuff, you know what I mean. The camera pushes into one of the windows, past a giant spiderweb full of gross cocoons, obviously, and into the darkness, where we can just barely see something moving. It’s a monster, and baby, it’s got a mouth full of teeth.’” Her eyebrows went up, but she didn’t have time to make any sort of judgment before Josh grabbed her around the middle.
“There’s a reason I’m burning it, Einstein!” Even though he was clearly struggling under her weight (and the ferocity of her wiggles), Josh let out a clipped laugh, waiting until he got Ashley back onto the ground before getting a hold of the notebook. “Out with the old…” he managed to yank it out of her grip and flung it, metal spiral and all, into the hungry fire. “…in with the new. And for your information? That monster? So many teeth. So many. Audiences just aren’t ready for that number of chompers in one mouth.”
“I do not get it,” Chris said again, and that time when he picked up the page of Ashley’s writing, he dutifully fed it into the fire. “You guys spend so much time being creative and junk! You put so much effort into it, and now you just…what? Sacrifice it to the writing gods? Makes zero sense to me.”
Instead of going back to his own pile of shame, Josh took a detour, circling around behind Chris’s chair and draping his arms around him from the back. Without any sort of pleasantry, he stole the energy drink from his hand and took a long gulp of his own, then gave it right back. “It really is a good thing none of us tried to be psych majors,” he joked, picking up where Chris had begun, “because if any of us had, this would probably be where they went on some kind of long, drawn-out monologue about the inherent shame of creating, and how much you start to hate your own crap when it doesn’t come out perfect the first time. Or maybe they’d say something about how taking the stuff that brings you that shame and destroying it so it can never come back to haunt you is the sort of catharsis that – ”
“Sure is a good thing none of us did try to be psych majors,” Ashley repeated loudly, catching Josh’s eye and sticking her tongue out when he raised an eyebrow. “Look, why did you get rid of all your old class notes and exams?”
Chris’s answer was immediate. “Uh, because I never, ever want to think about any of that stuff again. Ever, if possible.”
“Yeah, well.” She threw another few paper balls into the fire, looking more than a little like someone trying to set the world record for fastest snowball pitches. “Neither do I. I don’t want to think about any of this stuff ever again. I just need it gone. Out of my room, out of my brain, out of my life!” When her pile finally ended, and it was only crisped, brown grass that her fingers found beside her, she smiled and relaxed back into her chair. “And now I have more space in my brain for good stuff this year.”
“What she said,” Josh agreed. “Goodbye, shlock of yesteryear, hello award-winning masterpieces of this year. Hope you two are prepared, because this is the year you become little more than arm candy of the guy who wrote the most messed up horror movie of all time. Without ‘Aw Dang, Look At Those Teeth’ holding me back, it’s just a matter of time before Hollywood’s knocking my door down, looking to get a piece of this.”
Ashley zipped her jacket up a couple more inches, huddling down closer to Chris as a chilly breeze tore past them, making the fire dance. “Arm candy, huh?” she drawled.
“Like two wildly different sized Twix bars,” Chris laughed. “Or maybe Snickers. Since we’re, y’know.”
“Don’t.”
“Y’know…”
“Chris, please. Can we not start this year like – ”
He turned to Josh when it became abundantly clear Ashley didn’t appreciate his A-game. “A little nutty.”
“Not going the M&M route, huh? ‘Melts in your mouth, not in your hand?’”
Ashley also stole Chris’s drink, doing her best to hide her smile by taking a drink while Josh played along. “The whole point of this,” she reminded them once she’d finished, “is to get all the embarrassing crap behind us so we can start fresh for the year. I don’t know about you guys, but honestly, I think this sort of childish back and forth is holding us back.”
Chris and Josh exchanged a brief look, both still snickering (a pun which, if either had said aloud, most certainly would’ve been intended). “You, uh, you wanna throw us in the fire then, Ash?” Josh asked. “I mean, if we’re ruining your clean slate with our – ” As he bent over to toss a handful of loose-leaf into the bonfire, his beanie slid off and fell in as well, the flames consuming it with a soft ‘woosh’ of fabric igniting.
For a moment, the three of them simply watched as the hat caught – then really caught – and it wasn’t until the brief spike of flame lowered again that Chris cleared his throat.
“Oh thank God. That hat was really holding us back from starting the year off right.”
That did it. Once it was sparked for real, the laughter between them only grew and grew, leaving them to curl up contently against one another and in front of what was left of last year, the fire warm but their hearts warmer. And already, they couldn’t wait to do the same thing again next year.
#until dawn#climbing chrash#chris hartley#josh washington#ashley brown#queenie writes supermassive#new year prompts#taurealis#hehehehe hope you enjoy!!! ;D
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Make Note of those Nifty ‘N’ Words
Now knowing there's a necessity to narrow the given narratives, I may neurotically nitpick my selections less I become negligent about neutralizing all nonchalant news of upcoming nonsense. (insert River Song here) No need to nullify natural nuance that builds in later narration unless necessary. Maybe it's all for naught? A bit naive? Or maybe just narcissistic? Nevertheless, I will try and note only needed sections and limit the numerous spoilers regarding the gang and their notorious nightmare man.
(Also honored that you started reading this absurdity, @mrsmungus. I hope it doesn't disappoint!)
My Words: Name, Needless, Nasty, Nausea, Notice
Your Words: Outrage/Outrageous, Offer, Offend, Obey, Objective
As always, if you think it looks fun, don’t hesitate to throw up an ‘@’ and throw up your ‘O’ words!
Name
By evening, Hayden found herself back by the fire with Glen sitting next to her. Harold's music had now been replaced with his, and the vape pen passed back and forth, shared between the two.
"So you really think we just drop this? No more attempts?"
"You didn't see what happened, Hayden."
Using her chosen name always threw her for a bit. Giggles was her name to him, and she loved it. Hayden was formal, reserved for more serious matters. A warning label that implied, ‘do not follow with snark.’
"What happened there, can’t say it was normal, and--"
"Which is why I don't think we should treat this like it’s normal! There's no hard science researching this, Glen. Uncharted waters here on out. Think we need to explore every--"
"Correct me if I'm wrong here Giggles, but you can't very well explore if you're dead.”
Needless
(This is only used twice between both stories. And I’ve also used both of these before - Another fail. At least I could go back a little further with this one, so its not all a repeat.)
"How much of this did Glen rehearse with you?"
The offense at the questions was taken immediately, and she made a note of just how little prompting it took to wind Lloyd up. “Hey! I am capable–”
"It's not commentary on you as much as observation of him, I promise.” She didn’t feel the urge to needlessly work him up; the fact that he was here now showed he cared in his own way. But she could see when a script was given, and Glen’s direction was shining through. “You can't tell me I'm wrong, though, can you?"
“The two of you are fuckin’ stupid for each other, you know that?!”
That got a smile from her. She wished that she knew exactly how he was aware of this fact. What they had done to warrant it. Examples. Stories. Memories she should have. But the lack of information on her end did not alter the truth in his statement, and she did not doubt he meant what he said.
Nasty
(Pretty far into Diving, but the rest were really bad on the spoiler deal.)
"Drink? I'd recommend the Macallan, it has aged quite well."
For as much as Max tried to make it seem otherwise, she knew very little about the woman in front of her first hand. And from what she could gather, not many did. Deliberate measures for sure, couldn't be anything else at this point. Her reputation preceded her, though, and Max knew there was no way to be around as long as her, get as high up on the ladder, without having some nasty business in your past.
The logic was enough for Max to justify retaining a resistant stance, despite Quinn's now questionable judgment.
"Little rich for my blood. But speaking of..."
There was no more to her sentence, it already served the intended purpose.
A polite laugh resounded while Gwen turned to mix something for herself. A carafe of dark red mixed with the translucent brown in an exquisitely crafted glass. An object made specifically for her no doubt.
"It pairs very well with A positive, I must say. O negative would do in a pinch. But if you're going to break into the good stuff, why tarnish it with an inadequate mixer?" From her peripherals, Max could see Harold stiffen at the open admission, and with how rigid he was to begin with, she could barely believe this was possible. “Perfectly fine in a glass, of course. No need for extracurriculars. Unless one would be into that type of thing.”
Nausea
With a small step, Fran stood to the side allowing her entry into the home. “Thank you for coming over. I wasn’t sure who else to ask.”
“Yeah, absolutely!”
It was then she noticed quite a few boxes stacked on the side of the porch. Susan grabbed the top two, and began to head to the living room. The post Fran held at the side of the door now relieved, she made her way forward towards the stack of items. Two steps forward and she was cut off with a very loud throat clear.
“Uh, I think not. You. Sit down over there. I got this.”
Fran didn’t need to be told twice. She was nearing the end of the pregnancy, and everything ached. Her feet and legs were swollen and screaming in pain at her. Random kicks to her kidneys would have her crying out at odd points in conversations. And the nausea… The plain cereal she just forced down was threatening to come up at the thought alone.
She let out a deep breath and relaxed into the couch. “I seriously can’t thank you enough. Wasn’t sure what I was going to do without Stu here–”
Notice
"Oh! Oh. No…it's not like that. Not that I wouldn’t… its just...”
She didn’t expect campfire confessionals to be turned on her, especially on something she hadn't even fully admitted to herself. Of course Glen was a great guy. She’d be a damn liar if she said she didn’t think about him when he wasn’t there, that she didn’t feel a calming grounded energy around him. There was something more about him… a good nature and levity. He was funny, and...
'Shit..’
She took a deep breath, reigning in the flustered energy.
"Ok. Well played. Tables sufficiently turned.”
But if Fran had picked up on this…
“...am I that obvious?"
She laughed, "No, you’re fine. I just thought I noticed a connection there as well, but I wasn't sure." Just as contagious as Glen’s, her laugh shifted the atmosphere to a more favorable one.
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I'M SO FRICKING LATE TO THIS OMG
BUT I'M HERE NOW AND I AM READY FOR THE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE 🙂
who am i kidding i'm not ready for this i will never be ready for this
Day 234 of fucking 619... jesus. Do you think Ollie ever waited for her to just crack or did he know she'd be holding on for that long.
The Doctor was intent on bringing you to your knees and, luckily, you were intent on…not doing that.
Gotta love her planning skills
THE FUCKING SOLDIER
HE'S SO SWEET
he's scraggly and in dire need of some therapy, but he's sweet
When everyone else had died, you’d survived.
Metal Arm Dude had made sure of it.
😭😭😭
Did Novak ever see the Soldier's obedience when it came to 'keeping her alive' and 'not hurting her' as simply the Soldier taking orders or did he ever see that there were already cracks and Bucky's humanity seeped through when it came to watching over her?
wait a damn minute
if she's forgetting so much stuff already does that mean Novak put her in the chair?
DARKE
DID HE OR DIDN'T HE
NO
If you couldn’t remember him then…then you couldn’t remember…
— “Cierra tus ojos, mi amor,” he murmured, holding you against his chest as you began to struggle. He turned quickly, his back to the pair of rockets that were shooting toward you. He whispered in your ear, cradling your head against his neck, “Te quiero. Te quiero. Te quiero. Te—” —
— Close your eyes, my love. I love you. I love you. I love you. I— —
Him.
You squeezed your eyes shut as your chest began to heave, “Danny.”
haha fuck you too
You couldn’t let Novak take Danny from you twice.
The chapter barely started darke what the heck
It hasn't even been a full year and our girl is already pretty much at her breaking point
did she just call novak Norman? i love her
if I were her i'd fuck up his name intentionally all the time just to fuck with him
I'd call him Nietzche or Nirvana or Noology
From now on I will call him every word beginning with N that I can think of.
What if Nomad—nope, not that one—had found out you were talking to him and separated the two of you?
she's worried she'll lose the Soldier too? 😭
I mean hat makes sese considering he's the only person in her life right now who hasn't actively hurt her or questioned her.
I could write entire essays about how complex these two are but I don't have that kind of time
no stop caring about Ollie he doesn't deserve it
stop caring about ollie
STOP FUCKIN-
“I promised,” you whispered to yourself under your breath as you straightened yourself up the wall and let your gaze flick to the door.
girl no
how in the heck does she still have the energy to kick ass right now
he was so much bigger than you remembered him.
i'd be having a very different reaction right now in another context but right now i'm just terrified
also, he was so much bigger than you remembered him means her memory's gone to shit BUT he was so much bigger than you remembered him means Nepotism had done something to him that enhanced him.
i like that sentence. i'm sure there's an actual term for something like that but i can't remember it
yep Necromancy definitely put him in the chair.
WHERE IS MY SCRAGGLY NURTURING BOY
oh jesus...
i just gotta say (even though the current scene is harrowing and really fuckin dark) you're so good at descriptive narration
You felt the instant Danny went limp and let you go. Felt your bones snap as the Humvee landed on your legs. The smoke burned at your lungs, sand clouded your vision, but Danny’s hand was in yours.
Then you heard his last breath—his last heartbeat
and fuck you again.
i can't keep letting you make me cry like this
“I know math, I’m a…I’m…”
actually, no I don't.
William was the boss. David was your fiance. Thomas was the medic. Owen was the computer guy. So…what were you?
this is psychological torture of the audience this all goes against the geneva convention this is fuckin illegal darke why the heck IS SHE FORGETTING ALL OF THEM THIS SOON
YOU'VE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR A WHIIIILE
The bioweapons from Paris AND Tokyo were Nocuous' experiments whaaaaat
The guards shoved you against the table as they began to file from the room before a hand as cold as death wrapped around your wrist.
Five minutes ago that cold was soothing and gentle
I love how well this could all be parallel visuals in an actual show or movie
unfortunately it just lives inside my brain and i can't admire it the way it deserves
the fucking edits we could make...
WOAH
SHE DID WHAT
SHE FUCKING FLUNG HIM ACROSS THE FUCKING ROOM WHAT THE FUCK
I love how even Noctule was shocked like this wasn't everything he was hoping for.
WOAH
HE'S BACK
GENTLE SCRAGGLY BOY IS BACK
I am so confused was it the kick that brought him back or... did the kick turn him on or something
of course you fuckin' ended it with Danny of course you fucking did
WHY AM I CURSING SO MUCH I AM SO STRESSED
A third with fiery red hair that paced the room with a frown.
who's to say that one's an actual hallucination?
BRO
YOU CAN'T PUT A MOMENT THAT FUCKING SWEET INTO THIS OF ALL THINGS
— “Well,” you puffed, sitting beside him with a roll of gauze in your hands, “Where doesn’t it hurt?” —
— He looked up at you, a mischievous smile curling to his lips before he pointed to his unbroken wrist, “Here.” —
— You raised a brow, reached out to the wrist before bringing it to your lips. Danny’s grin grew as you did before he pointed to his cheek, “Here.” —
— A smirk found its way to your face as you pushed out of your seat and he pulled you between his legs. You pressed a kiss to his cheek, earning yourself a giggle before Danny pulled away. He pressed a finger to his lips, “Here.” —
I'M NEVER FORGIVING YOU FOR THIS
and then cute Danny moments is followed by cute Soldier moments like WHY WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS
im crying into a burger right now i look ridiculous
ooh it's the iconic line, Narcotics said the iconic line
“Tell me, my little phantom, how do you create something like you? What must we put a person through to become perfection?”
at risk of sounding like a TikTok comment: he ate that
oh god if Nominal was real do you think people would make edits of him
and I don't mean like... the kind that you made of all the villains and shit but... like... you know the ones of Pedro...
EW let's not think about that
but my mind is fuckin disgusting so let me put focus on
“You can scream for me.”
TikTok would love that for all the wrong reasons
she's so cute rn, wiggling her toes while fucking strapped to a metal table primed for another torture session
Everytime Ghos tugs on her restraints the Soldier just walks up and adjusts them... his love language is easing the pain of torture. I love him.
He’d tried to kill you. He worked for Novak. He wasn’t supposed to be the only support you had.
and that's what makes their dynamic so fricking interesting...
Then it would be your three-step plan to success.
as if any other time you've applied your three step plan worked. sure ghostie, dream big.
new soldier friend 🥺
I need to know what happened at the county fair Ghost almost died at.
In some other universe she might've actually died there and I wanna know if it was cotton candy food poisoning or decapitation via roller coaster ride.
oh hello Oliver you anak ng putang dinampot lang sa bangketang iniputan ng ibon putanginang gago
“‘Cause I ain’t leavin’ without you.”
girl. no.
You tried to figure out how to bring him back to you but it seemed to be different every time. You couldn’t pin down what brought back his memories.
when in doubt, kick him across the room. that seemed to get him going
she is literally so indecisive she is just like me. which is it, three step or four step? how about we all just lay here and die? seems easier, takes no time at all.
I love hwo while she's kicking ass right now I'm getting all hopeful while completely aware she's not getting out just yet and things are only about to get so much worse for her
i love how she just gives up and lets him drag her back upstairs like a cat held by the scruff
oh shit Noodles is whipping out the chains and shackles.... in a very different context I'd be doing a 😏😏 but... yeah no i know where this is going and it is not 😏😏
did they let her kill all those guards and kick all that ass just so they could have time to set up all the new stuff... like some kind of surprise birthday party
like she was thrown into her cell and they were all like SURPRISE YOU'VE GOT NEW CHAAAAINS NOW GET OVER HERE AND TAKE THE FUCKIN LASHES
oof you know how to take it dark, darke
STOP IT WITH THE DANNY FLASHBACKS STOP
Soldier Girl goddamnit
“Promise me something?” you asked with a shiver, “Don’t leave me, okay?”
“I’m not going anywhere, Soldier Girl.”
It's a great fucking thing I plan on watching a movie after this because if I end my night on THAT I will cry myself to sleep.
like
what do I even say
the flashback chapters are literally amazing, you never miss and I always go in expecting them to be fucking awesome but they exceed expectations every damn time.
the parallels between Danny and Bucky, and Narwhal's bonechilling presence is just chef's kiss. I love Nugget's effortlessness. he's just so scary.
He'd be terrifying on screen, which is why I have to be grateful he's only in fanfic. If he was real I'd be pissing myself in a movie theatre.
And I did go the entire chapter not calling him by his real name and I'm so proud of myself for that.
I love the flashback chapters so fricking much and I can't wait to seew what unfolds in the next one. The day all of this comes full circle fully will be fricking epic.
CHAPTER 86: FLASHBACK: THE MAN IN GREY
To all my live reactors,
Please, please, please, hide your reactions under a Read More cut. I don’t want any spoilers floating around.
&
To all my Anonymous Avengers,
If you want to react in my asks, feel free. However, I won’t be answering any of them until at least Wednesday if they contain spoilers.
Thank you,
Darke
┍━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┑
“I don’t remember anything.”
He shrugged, nodding to one of his guards as he backed away from you and took back his notebook.
“We shall start with something easier, hm?” Novak said, settling down in his chair with his book and another file, “Who else is on your team?”
“Make no mistake, Lieutenant, I will break you,” he snarled, his voice low and dark, “I do not care how long it takes. I do not care what I have to do to you, I will do it. And you will give me what I want.”
You leveled another glare against him, wrenching your chin out of his grip, “Never.”
“We shall see.”
┕━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┙
» CHAPTER 86: FLASHBACK: THE MAN IN GREY
✪ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ : Aғᴛᴇʀᴍᴀᴛʜ
♜♠ Tʜᴇ Sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ & Tʜᴇ Sᴘʏ
⧗ Tʜᴇ Rᴇᴅ Rᴏᴏᴍ
»Jᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋᴇ sɪᴅᴇ Tᴀɢʟɪsᴛ
@thexbookxnerdx // @autumn-em // @fadingbakeryfarmoperator // @rhymingtree // @itsmeatballworld // @kippykasey // @turtleedovee // @kamalymaly // @onewithnomightypowers // @y-napotat // @riahmcq // @thequeenofthefallen // @jesuswasnotawhiteman // @fnnshelbys // @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul // @banbananas // @beans-and-toast // @violetvictoriabarnes // @oikawasblueearbud // @itsarussian // @mrsbarnesinmyimagination // @oopsiedoopsie23 // @luhuhzy // @heyimjustlaura12 // @moonlightreader649 // @petalren // @sighmurderbot // @soldat-petala // @useless-creature-213 // @xiyouchan // @kaiblog50 // @bookfeen // @nx-crisis // @aftermatharchives
***if you have a strike through your handle, it wouldn’t let me tag you 😞
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Bucky Barnes is a Traditional Man
- Bucky Barnes is a traditional man in the sense that his woman comes first.
- You have more doors held open for you than you could have imagined before you began dating Bucky.
- Door to buildings, your car door (always!), he even moves one step ahead of you when you walk down the stairs in heels so he could break your fall, just in case.
- James Buchanan Barnes is quite protective of his girlfriend.
- He’s in love with you and it finally allows some of the deeper wounds from Hydra, from the war, and losing Steve to heal.
- His heart was cold and aching before he met you. Now it’s warm and soft.
- Your perspective on the world is something that attracted him to you in the first place. You’re an optimist in a jaded world and vibrant with life in a way he’s not sure he’s even capable of.
- But somehow, being with you helps bridge the gap. He can look in the mirror and not see the Winter Soldier looking back at him. Instead he sees the man from the 1940s who loved to dance and who hoped to win a boxing title.
- You gave him that man back with your care and affection, even before the two of you fell in love. And he feels such a gratitude for that his heart throbs and his eyes glass over when he thinks about it for too long.
- Bucky is a man in love and you’re happier with him than you ever thought was possible to be. Things are so good between you two; easy, light, and sweet.
- Then one night at dinner Bucky forgets his phone. He asks to borrow your to check the score of a baseball game.
- And he accidentally finds an open porn tab. Curious, he turns the screen so no one else can see and watches. His stomach twists. The appetizer from earlier suddenly isn’t sitting so well.
- Choking.
- You watch porn with men choking their women.
- He’s not judging. He’s really not. But he’d been hoping for something he could replicate for you, and this? He can’t. Not in a million years.
- He’s afraid of hurting you.
- He doesn’t say it out loud because it feels like speaking one of his worst fears into existence. He doesn’t want even the words to pass his lips and take root in your imagination.
- You can’t see him like that. Like a monster. Too many others have and there’s enough truth behind the title for him to sleep well at night, despite all his progress. But most of the time, he sleeps well. It’s because of you and he knows it. Your comforting presence allows him to relax.
- He sleeps in bed with you nowadays. He likes how firm your mattress is.
- He struggles through dinner, the video playing through the back of his mind. When you ask him what the score of the game was he can’t figure out what you’re talking about. It’s an awkward moment.
- The thing here, is that Bucky Barnes is a traditional man. His woman comes first. So he’s going to do whatever it takes to please you and he knows it.
- You always come first. Both in the bedroom and out of it. That’s one of his rules. So he’s already forming ideas about how he’s going to accommodate your kink.
- Two weeks later is your anniversary. He gets flowers, takes you to a nice restaurant and when you get home, brings up the thing.
- “I found your porn open when I borrowed your phone. I’m guessing that you like choking, doll?”
- Your cheeks turn bright red. And you stammer.
- “Hey. Don’t be embarrassed. I want to know this stuff. I need to. How can I please you if we don’t talk about it?”
- “Bucky, you don’t have to... I would never ask you...”
- He smiles. He loves that you’re protective of him in your own way. Knowing this has done a lot for his mental well-being. It makes the relationship between you two solid and strong.
- “I want to give you everything you want in bed,” Bucky says.
- “But you already do!”
- That’s true. Too many of your ex-boyfriends were quick and rough without taking the time for foreplay.
- Bucky is an expert at foreplay. He’s able to build the tension until you fall apart for him is an addiction that he feeds as often as he can. Knowing he provides for your needs like no other man before him is a point of pride for him. (Private pride, that is. Even Sam doesn’t know anything about his sex life. Some parts of 1940’s discretion is very much ingrained in him. It’s not shame. He just likes keeping intimacy... intimate.)
- Bucky is slow and sensual in bed, warm and passionate. With him sex really does feel like making love. It was on your first night together that you’d fallen for him and his patient, gentle way of touching you.
- Orgasming had been so easy when you felt worshiped and safe. And it remained that way with him. Later, these feelings heightened your desire for rough sex with your boyfriend. Because sex with Bucky was a place of security for you. He was utterly harmless towards you and in that context, rough sex would be amazing.
- But things between you two are pretty much vanilla.
- He’s always soft with you. Things can be heightened and swirling with passion, but he’s never show even a flash of aggression or force.
- The super soldier serum means he has stamina for days. He can accomplish and position you want to try, even if it involves lifting you for long periods of time. And there’s no question if he’s going to last. Also, his recovery time is so short “round two” sometimes blurs in with round one.
- But he’s careful about using his strength against you, even more so during intimate situations.
- You’re not “breakable” and he knows that. But you’re precious to him and leaving a mark that isn’t from pure passion would wreck his mental health. Permanently. He’d never forgive himself.
- You know this too, which is why you never asked him to choke you.
- “Baby doll. I want to give you your fantasy. Will you let me? Do you want that from me?”
- You do. You really, really want to be choked by him. So you quietly respond, “Yes.”
- Before he starts, you two sit on the couch and he holds you while you tell him about your fantasies. He takes off your heels while you tell him all your darkest desires. And he gives the sore arches of your feet a massage, listening intently.
- One comforting thing for Bucky is that having been a soldier, he knows how to choke someone. He’ll be able to tell if it’s too much for you. He knows how long before it would damage you. There’s some confidence forming that this will be safe and he won’t hurt you.
- It’s nice that for once his violent past is proving helpful in your relationship. He thought agreeing to choke you might rattle him a little, stirring up old emotions, but it’s soothing. He’s enjoying using what he knows to make this experience good for you.
- He lets things get rough when you go to bed. He doesn’t hold back the passion tonight. Instead, he focuses on eating you to orgasm and holding you on the edge until you pull his hair.
- “Bucky! Please!”
- Then he slides two fingers inside of you and draws fast little circles on your g-spot until you break.
- He lets up on your clit but as the orgasm fades, slides in a third finger and pounds the spot until your pussy creams on his hand and your groans are low and raw, filled with ecstasy.
- “That’s it, doll. Just like that. So pretty when you cum for me. Keep going, baby girl. I’m right here.”
- His metal arm wraps around your waist when you arch your back, holding you so he can keep toying with the spot as your hips begin to jerk away.
- When he’s finally done with your g-spot his hand is drenched. So is the sheet and your inner thighs.
- And you’re gasping for breath from the intense orgasm. When it comes on this hard you can’t really tell if it’s one long orgasm or three separate ones that came almost back to back.
- Bucky takes you in his arms, cooing sweet nothings into your ear.
- It helps you calm down when he talks in a soft soothing voice. The man should narrate meditations.
- His voice is silky and smooth for you, yet rough with repressed need. You can hear the need and it feeds your desire.
- “Please, Bucky. I need to feel you inside of me.”
- You find yourself underneath him, with your legs pushed apart and his body selling between them.
- You love feeling the weight of him on top of you.
- Then, he gently opens the petals of your sex and guides himself inside of you.
- There’s a stretch and burn as he enters you, just like there always is. Your body never quite adjusts to his girth. Each time you have to relax for him.
- He knows it’s a challenge to take him at first. He’s always careful and there’s a tube of lubricant in the side table. It’s not always needed but he’s always prepared.
- His hips begin to roll, and he sets a steady pace that pushes the tip of his cock against your spot with each thrust. At first his thrusts are shallow but as you begin to relax around him he goes deeper. His body moves forward to cover you and he starts fucking you hard.
- Each snap of his hips has you keening. Your body is so sensitive from your earlier orgasms. He keeps up the pace steady and constant until you’re begging. Then he reaches out with his metal hand and covers your throat. At this point, your channel clenches around him, almost in orgasm.
- “You wanted my metal hand baby, didn’t you?”
- Yeah. You had. The idea had fueled your fantasies night after night.
- The cool press of metal into your throat makes you moan and tremble.
- Bucky feels the shiver and worry flashes through his eyes. “This okay, doll?”
- “Yes, harder, please!”
- He can feel your body responding and it encourages him to press down, finally choking you the way you’d dreamed of.
- You orgasm almost instantly as he chokes you through your climax.
- Bucky lets go when your fluttering muscles start to ease. Suddenly he’s driving into you hard. He drops his hand from your neck, needing both to balance his weight as he seeks his own pleasure.
- The wild, rough movement is harder than the two of you have ever gone before.
- Because he’s always been afraid of hurting you with his enhanced strength until he was too far gone to think.
- When his orgasm hits, his sight goes white and he jerks against you, pumping his seed into you. Then he collapses.
- You hold him tight, savoring the press of his body and the feeling of his release inside of you.
- “You okay, doll? I wasn’t too rough?”
- “It was perfect.”
- Your hand strokes through his hair as you lay together in the same position for several minutes. Heartbeats pounding, your minds still struggling to return to equilibrium.
- Bucky recovers first. Damn that super soldier serum. It’s not fair that you’re still limp and dazed.
- He slips out of you and rolls over, bringing you with him. Your head finds its cradle in his shoulder and your eyes drift shut.
- Recovery isn’t going to happen for you tonight. You’re just going straight to sleep. You’ve earned it.
- Bucky shifts you onto your side. He gets up and you hear water running in the bathroom before a cool cloth touches between your legs, cleaning you.
- You murmur a thanks, half asleep.
- He comes back to cuddle you into his arms, adjusting the pillows around you before he lays down.
- When you throw a leg over his hip, he draws you closer so that you’re lying almost on top of him.
- “You make such a good pillow of someone with so many hard muscles.”
- Bucky chuckles and kisses the top of your head.
- “I’m glad. Go to sleep, doll. I love you.”
- “I love you too, James.”
#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you#drabble#bucky barnes#tfaws bucky#smut#bucky barnes smut#bucky fanfic#lemon#bullet points#winter solider#winter solider x you
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Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!
Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."
It was a wild time haha.
In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.
We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.
After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.
Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.
Who isn't being optimistic though?
Jared Padalecki.
When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"
As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.
However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.
The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.
Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.
The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?
In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.
But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.
So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!
💖💖💖
#omg#I don't even know if this makes sense#this took way too long to write#j2#cockles#long post#spn family#so glad you see you back again my dear#welcome to hell#it's hotter now
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I was curious what advice would you give to someone new to writing fics? I've been wanting to get back into it but haven't seriously written something since high school. I hope this isn't an annoying question or anything!
Not an annoying question at all! I'm just a little worried that I won't have terribly good or useful advice. To be honest, I also sort of stopped writing in earnest right as I finished high school, and didn't pick it back up until my late 20s. It's certainly an adjustment! But I think the few things that really helped me get back into writing fic as a hobby and something I spend quite a bit of time on would be:
Write for yourself first, then find your other motivations. My original inspiration in getting back into fic writing was that there just were not that many fics I liked for my favorite pairing, and I wanted more of them, and I especially wanted more with the tropes and characterizations I wanted to see. I think at the very core of anything you need that internal spark that drives you. At the same time, for me at least, if I just relied on my own drive, I would not get much done; I need some external guardrails. So having people send prompts, or writing for particular events, or writing stuff for friends really helps me to get my ass in gear and finish stuff. That may not be the perfect motivator for you, and that's fine! You just gotta figure out what is.
Be open to inspiration. Anything and everything can be spun out into a story with the right tweaking. Obviously stuff like music is a classic inspiration source, but I've also pulled ideas from poetry, from memes, from Reddit threads, from YouTube videos, from rambling conversations on Discord and from real life to make fics out of. So many times, someone will post a silly Twitter screencap, and I'll think, There's a fic in this. And a lot of the time, there is! Research is a wonderful thing, but so is serendipity. If you're out there actively looking for ideas, eventually one that you like will stumble past you.
Find your community. I can genuinely say I never would have finished more than one fic if I didn't have fandom friends to talk to about even stupid headcanons, to bounce ideas off of, and to encourage me (and to encourage them in turn!). Discord has been a godsend, and some of my closest online friends are people I met in the GaaLee discord server. As I've gotten more comfortable as a writer, I've also joined general writing servers and Reddit communities and have found them immensely helpful on both a motivational level (bingos, sprints, owe-me challenges) and on a craft level (plot workshopping and writing ethics and live grammar help). It's a lot easier to think about fic ideas and hash through problem moments when I have a constant stream of fandom-related chatter coming from the little people who live in my phone! Ao3 is an amazing website, and it's great as, well, an archive, but it isn't social media by design. If you want conversation and human connection and cheerleading, you've gotta forge out and find it.
Make it a habit ... If you want to produce anything longer than a couple hundred words, you really have to set aside time for it. And writing is just like knitting or dirt biking or painting little model figurines: the more you do it, the more easily it comes. When I was first getting back into the proper swing of things, I committed myself to 30 minutes of writing per week. Just 30 minutes. I didn't even hit that goal every week, but there were tons of weeks I got on a roll and went over that amount, and by the end of the year I'd written over 200,000 words. I used to spend an hour laboriously tip-tapping out 200 words, but now I can easily blow through 1k in a 50 minute sprint. It's all about training that muscle.
... But don't make it a chore. With fanfic, you aren't doing this as a job, and you aren't ultimately doing it for anyone other than you. That means you can take breaks when you need them, you can set deadlines and then fail to meet them, you can write stuff and then decide to never post it. When you start getting burnt out, when the practice loses the joy and energy, stop. There's no 'hustle' here. In our capitalist society we're so trained to push past our limits and keep going even when it hurts us, but the hobby you do for connection and relaxation and whatever else shouldn't be like that.
Ignore metrics. Sometimes stuff isn't gonna get hits, or kudos, or comments. There are some basic 'rules' as to the stuff that does and doesn't get traction, but every time you post something it's a roll of the dice. If you're focused on watching that kudos counter tick up, you will get bummed out fast. And any writer will tell you that the stuff you think is your best work will never be the stuff that gets the most accolades. So you have to find something else to give you a sense of success. For me, it's watching my wordcount go up in my stats and those occasional comments where someone has a lot to say and that one person who always leaves me a <3 emoji (and, shout out to @egregiousderp, having someone to have long one-on-one conversations with about the stuff that never made it to page).
Don't strive for perfection. It's really easy to want your first ever fic to be a complete showstopper, the best fic fandom has ever seen, hitting all the tropes and the ideas and the characterization that you just know fandom is missing and would be everyone's top favorite if only it was written. This is a trap. No one fic can be all things. Most people who want to write an epic as their very first venture will not see the end of that epic, because they haven't put in the practice hours to make something on that scale work. That's not to say you can't start out with a big, sprawling multichap, just don't expect it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread if you're just starting out, and be okay with abandoning it for greener pastures if you get to that point. Think of the first time someone makes a vase out of clay or bakes a loaf of bread. That's never their best vase or their best bread. If they keep up with it, they'll make more and better vases and loaves. Likewise, your first fic is probably not gonna be your best fic. See it for what it is: your launchpad.
You can't edit an empty page, but you can over-edit a full one. This kind of spins off of #7, but if the words aren't there, you can't fix them. Daydreams and headcanons are fantastic (and god, how many times have I wished for a speech-to-text engine that projected my falling asleep thoughts onto a Google doc for later perusal), but they aren't fic. If you want to write fic, you've gotta get comfortable with the idea of sloppy outlines and rough first drafts. You can't build a house without a frame and you can't build a man without a skeleton (I mean, you can, I guess, but he'd be one floppy man). The nice thing about fic is that it doesn't matter if that frame is structurally unsound or the skeleton has 18 too many bones, you can clean that up in the editing process. But you can't start hanging curtains and arranging furniture in something that doesn't even have walls. That's the process. But! Also know when to set down the editor's pen and say, "Okay, this is good enough for government work", and call it done. ("Done" doesn't have to mean "posted", but it does mean, "I'm done picking at this for now, and I'm gonna go write some more stuff".) Over-editing can make stuff seem laborious and forced, and it prevents you from actually improving. To continue belaboring the house metaphor, you can spend your whole life rearranging furniture in just one room, but the end result of that is a pretty narrow existence and a room with a lot of footprints and tracks in the carpet.
Write shit down. When you have ideas, jot them down--in a notebook, in a Google Doc, in the Notes app of your phone, in pen on the back of your hand. You think you will remember that brilliant line of dialogue or sparkling snippet of narration or genius plot that came to you in a dream, but you Will Not. Write it down. Write it down. Write it down! There have been so many times when a fic was completely saved by past!me having written down my shower thoughts about what happens next in the fic, that present!me had completely forgotten about and was floundering over.
Have fun with it! Try different stuff. Try stupid stuff. Try experimental stuff. Do stuff you've never done before that you aren't sure will work. It's important to get comfortable with your niche (for example, I know I'm never going to be the sort of person who writes intricate plots of intrigue or super long 100k epics or detailed battles), but you can't find that niche unless you explore lots of different niches! Figure out what you love and what you absolutely hate, and then keep doing the stuff you love.
Okay, so that was actually TEN things, but ... I hope you still found this helpful. Feel free to send another ask if any of this was confusing or unclear. Good luck with your fic writing and, if you want, send me a link to what you've written once you've written it! I'd love to read it.
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Personally I don't see what you see in Geordo. He seems like such a scumbag to me and is the least likable charater in the whole series. He is always trying to get her alone to push her into things of a sexual/ more romantic nature without taking how she really feels into consideration. Like he "really wants her" and thats enough for him without caring what she really wants. Honestly he is the borderline non-con villian in my mind.
I mean, it's okay if you feel like that. To each their own.
Hmmm when I think about Geordo being sexually aggressive towards Katarina, I only really just think of the anime. The manga is a much more moe-fied and toned down version of the novels, and the novels does an okay job at balancing his desires for Katarina in all aspects. I'm not saying he doesn't have that trait in the other two mediums, I just think that they aren't as intense as the anime, so as someone who consumes all three versions I just tilt my head and go "huh." Of course I'm sure there are people who read the manga and novels that still feel uncomfortable about his behavior and that's valid too.
-> light novel spoilers ahead <-
tldr, there is a lot more going on to him than just someone who offers sweet words and questionable invitations to Katarina's ears, this may not be noticeable or acceptable to some people but we get to know more about how he thinks whenever the novels puts us in his point of view. You're free to dislike him as much as you want, but I like him & don't see him as a scumbag; and here's why:
I at least find it okay that Geordo is very serious about his pursuits for her because he is aware that she is dense and will not get it until you spell it in the sky. Everyone is just walking eggshells around Katarina hoping that the girl would just develop feelings for one of them to win the harem olympics. He knows that being dealt with a good card isn't enough, so he's actively taking action in order to win her heart. I mean I don't always agree with his methods either, like the "fait accompli" line or constantly inviting her to his room alone, but really, how much of that is something he really means to do vs how much of that is his excessive flirting + our minds assuming that he really means to claim her in that way?
Lines like that are really popular with japanese fans because it makes Geordo look "sexy" and "forward", which they enjoy in their fictional stories. He knows that his position gives him an advantage so he'll try to play his cards right and use it to increase his chances in victory.
It actually reminds me of a scene from the Hamefura StoryMe game, (don't really know how canon it is but I remember the JP ver. was advertised by @/hamhura) where Geordo indirectly asked Katarina how to woo a girl he really likes, and Katarina thinking he was referring to Maria, gives all the things he usually does in order to win her heart (visit her home, give her gift, dance with her in parties, be really forward about your feelings etc). I'm not saying Katarina approves of the ways Geordo attempts to win her heart, but there's some hilarity in knowing that Geordo already had and is constantly trying all the known ways to win over a girl in the world from a young age, and still has nothing to show for it. Like no awareness, much less any *feelings* lmao. So trying to make it obvious that he is interested in her romantically and sexually seems like the next logical step to him. I mean if you go by Geordo's logic and considering the time period this takes place in, he's pretty confident that he can get Katarina to love him back and they are engaged anyways so in his head he's in safe waters to attempt to make teases about such advancements if it gives him the smallest chance that Katarina would become at least aware of him through it.
Of course I know that stuff like that won't fly here in the real world, but maybe that's why I'm so lenient personally when it comes to his (debatably) sexual teases and advances, because it's a fictional story for a japanese audience. Doesn't mean I would approve any advances like that if it happens to me, it's just that it's hard to take his actions seriously when Katarina or the story doesn't take them seriously. Like, the girl would be pushed down to a bed by RufuSora and gives her a hickey and she still thinks the man is out for her blood.
He wouldn't even be entirely wrong, knowing the identities of the characters who Katarina knows has romantic interest in her in the novels, actions does speak louder than words when it comes to her. Like I said, whether or not Geordo really means what he says when the story teases the readers with sexual implications in his words and action depends on the reader in my opinion. They are there, I wont pretend they don't but I'd argue about the level of intent depending on what scene you're talking about.
The only scenes on the top of my head where he is very abrasive towards Katarina is the "fait accompli" scene, the Book scene form the anime (S1 EP8), saying he wants to lock her in his room (LN6) and the multiple times Geordo had invited her in his room at night alone (LN6 and LN8, i think).
I've already explained why I am okay with both Keith and Geordo's Book scenes from episode 8 of the first season because they are accurate representations of an exaggerated and unhinged versions of their desires towards Katarina so I won't bore you with those details again.
He mentioned in Volume 6 that he wants to lock Katarina in his room forever and keep her light to himself, which alarmed a few people when the book came out, but he said that in a moment where he feels super grateful and loving towards her because she knew how tired he was despite his fake face and without even saying anything. It was a moment where he felt so infatuated towards her that he wished the moment where he gets to rest in her arms would last forever, thus he made such a comment. I make it sound more dramatic than it was in Volume 6, it was just a quick comment honestly lmao.
For people who don't read the novels, that last part looks very sus and raises a few red flags I know, but to be fair we can't definitively say what his intentions are because Katarina never commits to those visits. Katarina has actually become wary of those invitations, because Keith and Mary have warned her that Geordo's intentions are sexual, but I'm not really trusting the word of the two people who are most distrustful and antagonistic to Geordo. They could be right, of course, but who can really say? We assume that they are correct because they care about Katarina and are wary of Geordo, but hamefura('s novels) is full of unreliable narrators anyways, it's not like Keith or Mary would consider the possibility of it being anything else because when it comes to the third prince they always fear the worst case scenario.
If you think about it, Geordo is probably aware that winning her over with a "fait accompli" won't work at all because it'll put him in a position that will make other people push him for the throne (which he doesn't want) or could ruin his reputation in high society if Katarina or her family react to it negatively. I'm not Geordo though, so I can't really say if he even have such fears and doubts in the first place, that's just my assessment based on the obstacles he has. On the outside he is really sure of himself and confident (which he arguably deserves) and on the inside he is very careful and insecure when it comes to Katarina.
Also like, spoilers but for someone who is very forward when it comes to his physical advances, Geordo is super weak when he is in the receiving end of those touches. He gets super embarrassed and easily flustered when its Katarina who is touching him, as if implying that to some extent that he's all just talk lmao.
I don't really agree that Geordo doesn't care about what Katarina feels at all, in fact his inner dilemma in the novels is that he doesn't know what to do because in every step he takes he might do something that could ruin his image in Katarina's eyes, be it pursuing or abandoning the throne or looking like a monster in front of her. He even halts his plans to make advances towards her during the Keith Kidnapping Arc, but threw it away because he knows how much finding Keith means to Katarina. He puts what Katarina want and doesn't want as his priority, so when what she feels is unclear that's when he acts on his own intuition. The only reason Geordo feels so confident to advance towards her sexually is because Katarina never rejected him before (because she doesn't know what they mean, and all of this is for the sake of simply making her aware in the first place)
I'm not trying to make anyone think that one has to read all the books in order to understand him, I think the manga does okay at conveying his feelings too. The anime really prioritizes on making him look "sexy" for the japanese female audience, so anything he does is sprinkled with spice whether we like it or not.
I'm sorry if it seems like I'm overanalyzing all his actions just to justify them, everyone has the right to be uncomfortable with his advances if it seems too much for you. It's just that his actions, while over the top and unnecessary, are done to please the type of audience that hamefura caters to, and it's hard to take him completely seriously when the story doesn't either in my opinion. Doesn't mean he's right or that any of it is okay, but it's his method of trying to put a dent on Katarina's bakashield. When you're in a race versus your friends who Katarina all loves equally, he's gonna use whatever card he can get in order to win.
I like Geordo; I like how much of his feelings for Katarina forces him to reexamine himself and realize that he isn't a perfect prince at all, that he has lots of problems and flaws that he needs to work out in order to be someone worthy of her. I like the way he falls more and more in love with her in every interaction they have because he finally gets to have a genuinely and caring interaction with someone. I like how Geordo wants to do better and be better for Katarina and the people around him, and he wants to be able to thank Katarina directly for that through being able to show his love. I like that despite how much of a chad he acts in front of her, he's a blushing mess at the thought of Katarina returning his feelings. I find it funny when his "sexual advances" fails and gets thwarted because he's trying them on the densest person and most protected lady to ever live. I like how Geordo is so head-over-heals in love with her and how much comfort and warmth she brings to him by simply being her caring and bubbly self.
I guess it's just a matter of different perspectives. If you find him unlikeable or a villain, then you do you. I try to explain why I personally excuse his actions, but I know it wont fly with everyone. We all see each character differently and absorb the material in different ways. In fact it's probably a bad idea for me to defend him with material that isn't the anime nor manga yet lmao. I mean I'm not that much of a fan of Mary anymore, and I'm kinda scared and wary of her, but I know people don't see her the way I do and I'm okay with that.
Maybe its just me, who is the kind of person who just goes with the flow and doesn't think too hard because it's all fiction anyways
It's hard to tell all this from simply watching the anime, so I laid all my feelings down in hopes that someone out there would understand why I like him so much.
Thank you for the ask, you can ask more questions or call me out if I said anything insensitive or wrong, I know a lot of this is me overanalyzing things which might look like I'm jus stretching. As someone who is aware of the things to come in Hamefura X, I can say that I am both excited and nervous as to how everyone will react for the direction of Geordo's character.
#mh ask#hamefura#my next life as a villainess#geordo stuart#katarina claes#geokata#for some reason tumblr wont type the letter E#anyways there are my thoughts please dont hate me lmao#if you dont like Geordo then thats fine#im not forcing anyone to like him#i just wanna explain my own perspective thats all#DONT THROW FIRE AT ME#bakarina#destruction flag otome#hamehura#hamefura spoilers
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