#also i love barney so so so so so much and WHY DOES HE NOT GET MORE SCREEN TIME?!?!?!?

[localwhiskeyuncle]

NBC Hannibal not being able to get the rights to Clarice Starling was honestly a blessing in disguise; they were able to take all the best part of both book!Will and Clarice and make the most glorious version of Will Graham possible and it gave us Hannibal's dynamic with Abigail.

Regarding Will - I loved both characters so dearly, so to have them combined is honestly such a treat. He has book!Will's mind and temperament, but Clarice's fire, drive, and sharp sense of humor. I'm not kidding when I say the absolute best bits of each of their personalities were put into TV!Will and my God does he shine it's no wonder Hannibal is obsessed with him.

In the books Hannibal sees the potential in both Will and Clarice, but he misses his chance with Will, he pushes him too far. When Clarice comes along and is just as quick, and damaged, and bright (but younger and easier to mold), he is determined not to let her slip through his fingers like Will did. So with the two characters being of such similar significance to Hannibal, it is so perfect to blend the two of them together and makes all the sense in the world why Hannibal is absolutely bonkers crazy about Will Graham in the show - he's the amalgamation of the two most fascinating, promising people he has ever met in the source material. The show takes his obsession with two people and puts all that passion into an obsession with one person and it becomes, I think, all the more interesting for it.

Book!Hannibal is obsessive anyway (drawing Clarice as Jesus on the watch face, drawing her as a griffon on the copy of The Tattler in Florence, keeping close tabs on her career from another fucking country for seven years, Clarice being pretty much the only person he talked to Barney about, sending Clarice random gifts, etc.) but to have all of that obsession turned onto one person is delicious because Hannibal clearly finds genuine emotional longing/desire to be sort of grotesque but he cannot help but hope.

They also put some of Clarice's character into Miriam Lass (obviously - I would also say that Miriam's circumstances are a parallel to Jame Gumb's victims), but even more important, they gave some of her character to Abigail.

The books baaaaaarely touch on the Shrike and definitely have no mention of Abigail (WHICH SIDE NOTE - since she exists only in this universe she should've been called Hannah it would've tied into the books soooo nicely bc that name holds significance to Clarice and therefore begins to hold significance for Hannibal), but Abigail has arguably one of the most important pieces of Clarice, the one that kept Hannibal's interest aflame even after years of no contact: the parallel to Mischa. In the books his interest in Clarice is, at first, as a surrogate for Mischa. He attributed his connection to Clarice as a connection to Mischa for the longest time, I think partially because it confused him to feel that way for another person. He has displayed empathy at multiple points in the novels but it still doesn’t necessarily come easy to him. Abigail quite obviously steps into the surrogate sister/daughter role in the show and it's interesting to see how that plays out when you very deliberately subtract the (eventual) romance from the equation.

I guess to sum it up while I love Clarice Starling so dearly I'm glad she was not able to be included bc we ended up with much more complex relationships with the characters that do exist in the show

[ravennaortiz]

8, 6, 13, 17, 30 with Happy, please! Drunk, lovey, needy Happy. Not an often occurrence, but I could see him getting to a certain state where all the walls just drop and it's super endearing and hurts your heart because he deserves so much more than he thinks he does.

I was instantly intrigued by this when I first saw it and had to let it marinate a bit but i think I have the right touch of magic now. As always 18+.

Prompts

8. Your Drunk. No I'm not

6. Are you afraid of me?

13. I promise

17. I love you

30. I need you

Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts

You had just stepped into the clubhouse when you heard Happy bellowing what sounded like a lullaby. You thought Juice had been exaggerating when he had called you a little bit ago. Saying Happy was out of sorts and acting friendly and could you come help them corral him. Rounding the corner you were shocked by the scene and couldn't help but laugh and shake your head.

Happy was standing on the bar with a microphone. Swaying back and forth as he belted out what you now realized to be a Barney song. "Thank god your here Doll. He has been singing this for the last fifteen minutes. He also went around telling us why we are his friends and he loves us." stated Tig once you had gotten to the bar.

Before you could reply Happy shrieked and danced at the sight of you. "Baby Girllllll!! Your here too! Boys my woman is here!" slurred Happy as he blew you a kiss. Laughing you grabbed his leg and gave it a light tug. "Time to get down Romeo. Need to get you to bed" you stated as he grinned down at you. "Ooooo shes gonna take me to bed boys" called Happy as he flopped down off the bar after winking at Tig.

"You are so bootyful" murmured Happy into your ear as he grabbed your ass. "Happy" you laughed as you grabbed his hands and tugged him to the dorm hallway. It was obvious you wouldn't be able to manage the trip home until he sobered up. "Are we going to do like they do?" asked Happy as he stumbled slightly. "What?" you asked as you opened the door to his room. "Wild animals" replied Happy as he flopped face down on the bed as if that explained his first sentence.

Staring at him with amusement you moved to the bed and sat next to him. "What about the wild animals?" you asked figuring it would be a fruitless endeavor with him in this state. Happy sighed before replying. "Do it like them. Jackrabbits" he stated as he began to hump the bed. Choking on laughter you shook your head as he turned to face you his eyes unfocused.

"Not tonight Hap." you replied as you looked at him. "Why not?" whined Happy with a frown. "Your drunk babe" you replied as you caressed his cheek. "No, I'm not" pouted Happy as he crawled up towards you and put his head in your lap. Smiling at him you massaged his head with your nails making him groan. After a few minutes of comfortable silence Happy spoke.

"Are you afraid of me? Think I would ever hurt you" asked Happy so quietly you almost didn't hear him. "Of course not. Why would you ask that?" you inquired as you used your hands to turn his face towards yours. You frowned as you watched tears pool in his eyes. "I'm a bad man. I do bad things to people" stated Happy as his lower lip trembled. "I promise you are a great man Happy. No matter what you will always have me in your corner. I love you" you soothed as you leaned down and kissed his forehead. Happy was quiet for a moment as he let your words settle around him like a hug. "I need you" he murmured as he turned and pulled you into his arms. "I'm right here. Always right here" you replied as you held onto him as well.

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[tumfullofblue]

Drinking beer with Barney (SFW)

VERY sudden, I know! But really, this man has grown to me, and he needs some loving! Or maybe it's me looking for another male figure to project my issues for... who knows... P.S Will never get over the fact that he and G-man are voiced by the same guy. NEVERRR. ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ Slight hurt/comfort!

Δ Okay we are ASSUMING that in our case alcoholic beverages are still found intact and good for drinking, come on, it's fantasy. Barney is over the moon when you come across a whole crate of perfectly good beer. A second later, he's on the verge of picking you up and kissing you, but he stops himself at the last moment. Δ You're young, you've never tasted beer before. You have some form of understanding on how drunk people behave, and you don't understand why someone would do that in the first place. Δ Barney was eager to share with you the experience of drinking beer in the evening once he gets back from his shift. He told you to be smart, stay out of the trouble and find a way to keep the drinks cold. He joked dully, closing the door to Kleineir's lab behind him, 'The only thing worse than warm beer is Breen's water." Δ Come the evening he is back, taking his gas mask off and walks right pass you to the stairs which led to a roof. You follow him with your gaze and take four bottles of beer from a made-up ice box. You find him at the roof, staring down at the City - 17 and it's weird seeing him be so... queit. Δ You want to ask him what happened. But you have no intention of being a bore to him either. He barely notices you. You walk over and sit down next to him, handing him the bottle. That's when he finally looks up at you; his eyes, usually so bright and warm now seem almost dark. Dead tired. Δ 'Hey, kiddo," he takes the bottle and opens it over the chair's armrest. Giving it to you and taking another for himself. You smell it first - the smell is not the most foul one. Still in silence, you take a sip and make a face; Barney notices that and smiles with a chuckle. Δ 'It could be an aquireted taste, sure, hun. Take it easy, I don't want you to get drunk on the first bottle or doctor Kleiner will sure talk my ear off after that.' Δ You trust Barney so much that you can easily picture yourself drunk around him and know that he will keep you safe. Like he always does. Barney finally takes a sip of his own and sigh. 'That's the stuff. Back in Black Mesa I could easily chug down five of these at the party.' Δ He rarely if ever talks about Black Mesa. Mostly rememebering his working pals. And there was one he could never stop mentioning. The most dear to him, as well. Δ He talks and talks, telling you a story you have heard a thousand times, but he always got the different ending for it. You sip on your beer and it makes you rather sleepy. Barney chuckles and carefuly ruffles your hair. Δ 'Falling asleep on my stories, kid? Get down and get some rest, then. I'll, uh... I'll stay behind, drink some more. Don't look at me like that, I'm gonna be fine! I... I really enjoyed your company. Okay, good night, hun. Sleep well.' Δ As you open the door to staircase, you look back at Barney. You didn't want to leave him alone. He was always doing well. But lately it's been harder and harder for him. In your heart, you promised yourself that you would never betray his trust in you. Barney turned as if he had heard your promise. He waved at you. Δ For in his heart of hearts, he had also promised to always take care of you.

[leiflitter]

Re: canon Felix not remembering to tell Ollie about the formalwear, I think it's his self-centeredness making him shortsighted and oblivious but also maybe subconsciously giving himself another chance at playing white knight (just like taking Ollie home because his mother "sounded sober") and feeling good about himself.

(In an alternate universe where Felix is slightly more thoughtful, he doesn't mention the clothes precisely because he knows there's no way Oliver owns or can afford them. Why give him something to worry about when Felix can pretend an oversight and then wave the problem away in seconds rather than put him in the uncomfortable position of having to either reject the invitation or ask for a handout? (double saviour points!) ... But in that universe Felix may have also realized it was weird that Oliver didn't need a summer job)

Okay so I wrote a lot then I deleted it to be more coherent but okay. OKAY.

Felix as Philanthropist. Felix as the hand of God, lifting people from mundanity. Felix as the Knight Who Saves The Princess.

Felix is none of these things, despite wanting to be, because Felix doesn't understand the nature of true kindness. Not really.

What Felix wants is to be universally adored. He mostly is, too, because he's a bombshell hottie-hot rich boy, but the problem is that it's too fucking easy. Everything has diminishing returns to Felix. He gets what he wants, when he wants- and that will make you numb. It's like a callous; Felix has probably only felt actual, deep emotions fleetingly, and even then... He tells Oliver he threw a stone for his dog but...

He doesn't say his dog's name. He loved the dog enough to go through the family ritual for death, but now the dog is nameless.

(I have named the dog Barney, btw, because all pups deserve a name)

Oliver, unlike everyone else, puts up a resistance to Felix's Will. Even Farleigh comes with the begging bowl.

"It's an awful faff to wheel it back to campus" "oh, you want me to..."

Their first proper interaction and Oliver makes him self-conscious. You can see it- he breaks his Felix Eye Contact and goes all hand-wavey and awkward, before Oliver says he will.

That establishes the pattern. Felix wants. Oliver denies. Felix has to try harder. Oliver gives in. Felix likes it.

Oliver is proud despite his apparent circumstances, and despite everything Felix could hold over him, Oliver refuses to just get on the floor and lick his boots and worship him the way everyone else does. Oliver does this because he knows that Felix gets bored when things are too easy, but also because he wants Felix to actually care about him. If Felix stops trying, it means Felix no longer cares, so Oliver makes him demonstrate his affection. To paraphrase-

"Come to Saltburn" - accept my glory and benevolence. Make me feel good. Let me save you.

"It's too much of an imposition." - prove to me that you want me there. Prove to me you care about me. Prove to me that I am more to you than the others.

"You'll save my sanity, really." - I need you to give in so I can actually feel good about myself. Please.

Now, the Hot Argument is a reversal of this. Oliver wants. Felix says no. Oliver tries harder. Felix does not like it.

Then Oliver comes back, with a new chapter of tragedy, which is Oliver Giving In, which Felix Likes.

Now the Dinner Jacket and the Birthday Trip are, actually, both the same thing. Felix has learned the pattern, you see, and he wants to skip straight to Felix Likes It without the initial pushback. He's on his home turf- and look.

Felix knows Oliver doesn't Get It. Felix absolutely knows. His family know all about Oliver’s Sad Circumstances- even if he Told Them In Confidence, that just means they don't talk about it in front of Oliver. He has probably been absolutely writhing about how NICE he's being while waiting for Oliver to arrive, the same as he was in the Was It Awful scene. He's been watching for Oliver to arrive (it's a big house- he pops up maybe 5 seconds after Ollie's come in), seen him be absolutely cowed by Duncan and swooped in to Save Him in his see-throughish white shirt.

Given him the grand tour.

And it starts- not with the jacket, but with the razor.

Felix is dripfeeding Oliver information because then he can bypass the whole Oliver says No part of their little dance. He probably doesn't know it, but that's what he's doing.

"Oh and you need to shave."

"Oh and the maids tell mum everything."

"Oh and you need to dress for dinner."

He doesn't warn Oliver about The Help opening the windows. Or the Henry party. Or the field. He lets Oliver get to the cusp of Something, then Oliver has to give in.

The Birthday Trip is the culmination of it.

Oliver doesn't fight Felix about the trip. About wearing something nice. He doesn't ask and Felix doesn't tell him, because Felix wants him captive.

If Felix actually thought about it for longer than 20 seconds, he might have realised that there's no way this would go well. He hid Oliver's mum's phonecall for a week. A week.

He probably wouldn't have even told Oliver if he could avoid it. I bet he'd have blindfolded him if it was a short trip. Because Felix wants to Be The Hero and roll up to the shack that he assumes Oliver grew up in and rain money on the problem to make it go away.

And what would have happened if it WAS as bad as Oliver described? Oliver would have been humiliated just as badly as he was by the lie coming out. Felix would realise that he is out of his depth, and... am I going to need to write my version of this? Maybe. Oops.

We see Felix through the lens of Oliver's love, but once again:

They're both idiot kids. They're 19/20, immature, off their faces on Saltburn and being young and the weird dynamic between them. It was never going to go well.

[thinking-outside-the-giftbox18]

please tell me more about your au with benrey x gordon x barney

like I want to know how benrey and barney are specifically, i'm very curious

I am SO SO GLAD that you're asking about my lore/ship because I want to share more about my goobers and their universe!

Note: I do NOT know the entirety of Half-Life. I was making lore for my TSP (The Stanley Parable) universe which is a part of a multiverse. I watched HLVRAI by mistake when I mistook Benry for Barney and I just love HLVRAI and Benry that it’s hard not to put it in the lore.

About the Ship - GeeBees:

A proper love triangle where all three love, respect, and care for each other.

Gordon (he/him; FTM) is curious and everything about Benry fascinates him. Barney and Gordon are childhood friends and had become lovers after HL2 with Barney helping Gordon recover. Gordon would much prefer both his lovers safe and unhurt but understood that that'll happen once the Resistance finds a bigger base for shelter. Now, he stays at home taking care of himself and helping when needed, otherwise, he'd cuddle Benry and Barney when one or both are back home. He enjoys giving and receiving physical affection to his lovers and despises silence, so it's a blessing to have two lovers who make all the sounds they want around him. He was the reason why Benry sleeps between him and Barney after Benry warded off G-Man one night.

Benry is healing with Gordon and Barney for the better, he helps around with them and the Resistance base, and his affection is reciprocated and returned tenfold, it’s worse in a good way when Gordon and Barney proudly one-up Benry’s weirdness. He adores Gordon and is happy that he doesn't find him weird in a bad way and it does surprise him at first back at the simulation, but he grew to love his curious yet freaky nature of Gordon as he'd too learn new things about himself (like his true form(s), shapeshifting and purring). Barney and Benry just GET each other as they've experienced being left in the background and Barney could easily pick up Benry who is fine with being carried by hot people.

Barney had always been taking care of the two and making sure to not lose Gordon again, because of Benrey, Barney feels validated on his feelings and anxieties while also letting Benry help him around, though he does like to lightheartedly tease Benry. Barney and Gordon being childhood friends helped a lot on their relationship and meeting Benry somehow strengthened their bond as the duo became a trio. Benry and Gordon would pay Barney back for taking care of them by taking care of him too. Benry even helps by shapeshifting into Barney to take his place at Combine when Barney's unable to work. And when Barney's anxieties get to him, Benry can purr and sing some blue balls into his mouth to calm him.

More on the Giftverse AU and how GeeBees got along under "Keep Reading" cuz' this is too long ^^;

If you or anyone reading this has questions, reblog, comment/reply, DM, and even ASK me because I'd love to tell more! ^^

I have AUs for this ship, just to let you know ^^

What happened in this AU?

The interesting things that happened BEFORE that: 

Benrey and the Science Team (Tommy, Bubby, Dr. Coomer, Darnold, and Forzen) were put into a simulation that would later be HLVRAI.

Gordon and Barney are childhood friends who managed to stay in contact and meet again in Black Mesa.

After Black Mesa put Benrey and his Science Team in the simulation, they all were put into this sort of hibernation until a player arrived and dons the in-game HEV suit as “Gordon Freeman”. This happened 3 times, according to Benry, and the gameplay is different each time. Before being put in the simulation though, Benrey took and hid a master code of the simulation which lets him do whatever he wants with the map and story of the game. The first “player” (2010) was a guide who helped take the Science Team around the Black Mesa map, and Benry named them “Puter”. Sadly, Puter’s data and memory were erased to make way for the second player (2020) “Feetman” and started what we all know as “HLVRAI” and Benry changed the story and gameplay of the simulation because he thought it was boring.

The third player (2030), after the simulation erased the data and memory of the game model, is both Gordon and Barney who exchange because Gordon takes mandatory naps to recover from his PTSD and morphine rehab, and Benrey feels hope on leaving the simulation just to see them face-to-face.

After the events of ResCas and Gordon waking up from Stasis to Half-Life 2, Gordon gets together with Barney and maintains a platonic/sibling bond with Alyx, who then gets taken to Stasis by G-Man. Gordon HAS witnessed Eli dying, only to see him fine yet grieving Alyx’s disappearance (2020). That made Gordon DESPISE G-Man.

How GeeBees met?

Gordon and Barney reside together in the White Forest Resistance base. The apocalypse is nearing its end (2030), but Gordon and Barney are more happy about being a couple after so long. One day though, Gordon opened the door to G-Man who gave him an errand of the day: Play a game and retrieve something important, and as he appeared, he left suddenly. He also left a Playstation 2 console in a box by Gordon’s doorstep, and Barney helped Gordon set it up while unsure of what G-Man was planning. Along with the console was a VR set and a game CD with a blank cover and “Half-Life VR” written on the disc with black marker.

Gordon put on the game and the headset, he expected anything but a shitty yet semi-accurate environment that was the entrance of Black Mesa. Barney, who was behind Gordon and watching the TV screen, couldn’t believe it either. Gordon was starting to panic as he remembered all that happened during the day ResCas happened and Barney and Gordon were trying to figure out who was sick enough to make a game on the thing that started the apocalypse and what would they say to Eli and Issac. All their worries were halted after they heard a deadpan voice “hey. can i see your passport?”. And that’s when their lives changed for the better.

Long story short: Gordon and Barney take turns playing the game with Benry and the Science Team guiding them, Gordon’s worries about the game lessened when important events that had happened were changed into something more lighthearted. After playing the game (which Gordon and Barney didn’t want to do), Benrey managed to get him and the Science Team into Gordon and Barney’s shared phone before Gordon and Barney could figure out how to get them out of the digital space. 

After that, Benrey stays with Gordon and Barney while everyone else wants to live elsewhere around the base. It was tough for the Science Team to come to terms with the fact that they were no longer in a simulation and that the ResCas was an actual event (and also the fact that Benrey is meeting the ACTUAL infamous Gordon Freeman who he first heard from the researchers before he was put into the simulation) but in the end, they want to help the Resistance.

More does happen after, Issac adopts Bubby as his brother (Bubby being cloned from Issac), Tommy helps with retrieving Alyx and another OC of mine out of G-Man’s Stasis, and Benrey helps Barney by shapeshifting as him at Combine as well as getting to sleep between Gordon and Barney to keep G-Man away.

And this is practically fanon in my lore, but Giftverse! Gordon, Barney, and Benry get to meet their alternate AU versions of themselves.

Sorry this is too long, so here's Benry's "Gordon Freakman"

[chriscrosswallflower-blog]

Alright, I have finally finished watching a Good Girl's Guide to Murder and I collected my thoughts as I went. Overall I really enjoyed it, though some of the plot changes weren't my favorite.

Spoilers below for the TV show!

Things I Loved

How awkward Pip is - I don't think we get a good look at this in the book since it is mostly through Pip's eyes, but I love how goofy and awkward she is!

Pip's friendship group! I love how much closer they seem in the show and how they accept Pip as the weirdo she is without a single thought, especially since she is different from them in so many ways. I also love seeing more of Connor and his funny personality

I love that we get to see more of Cara and Pip's relationship - they are precious and you can tell how ride or die they are for each other

Lauren - she adds so much to their friend group and I just love her so much. Ant, stay tf away from this baby!

The PipRavi sleepover - my heart couldn't take it!

I like the introduction of the da Silva siblings backstory. In the books they seemed pretty estranged so it's not as obvious why Nat is upset about Pip accusing her brother. Obviously that would bother anyone to an extent but with the introduction of how close they are/were it will make a lot more sense moving forward

Max (and Dan honestly) seem creepy from the start. I swear anytime either of them came on screen I got a terrible feeling - though Dan did begin to seem more good intentioned after talking to Pip in the police car (still creepy though)

Name drops of characters that will be important later - non-readers won't think anything of it but it's funny to hear Stella and Jamie name dropped so casually

It's interesting to see Mr. Ward acting so normal and casual - he does the same thing in the books but seeing it is so unnerving. I think the plot line of him forcing Pip to change her EPQ really adds another layer to his character too

BARNEY'S FUNERAL AND THE TENNIS BALLS!!! 😭 the "why didn't anyone help him" almost broke me.

Ravi being the one to suggest that they call off the investigation hits so damn hard. He feels so hopeless and trapped but the only thing he cares about is protecting and reassuring Pip

Since we have a more objective POV, I love seeing the little signs of how smitten Pip is with Ravi from the beginning - much more than she ever acknowledges in the book

Pip going in the junk yard scared the hell out of me - she got wayyy too close to DTK there.

Becca and Andie being close makes her death so much more tragic

Cara has a TRACKER on Pip?! "Maybe she's not as smart as she thinks she is," man I cackled!

OMG Sal and Andie talking about running away together hurt so bad - seeing how much they loved each other makes the whole story so much more heart breaking

Regardless of if it's in the book or in the show - Mr. Ward talking about how he talked to Sal about Cambridge so he would die thinking about something good will always turn my stomach. That man is such a disgusting mfer

Pip threatening Max at the very end is so amazing. That little pat on the shoulder? 🤌🤌

Things I disliked

Pip seems a lot less informed in the show - like seriously, book Pip would be horrified. You broke into the Bell's house without GLOVES?

I think this is partially because we don't see Pip's POV and much about her suspects - the only two people she really seems to suspect are Dan and Jason and that really only comes into play at the end. I wonder if people who just watch the show will even guess that she suspected Naomi, Nat, and even Howie throughout most of the book

I think we all mourn for "real men wear floral when trespassing" 😢

Honestly, the storyline with Pip's dad might be my least favorite thing. I loved their cute, playful relationship in the book and how she ardently defends her blended family, but in the show, even before the cheating thing, it seems like she didn't really like him? That made me so sad! (Also, does he call her chicken in the UK edition of the books? I really liked Pickle as a nickname!)

Nat's storyline is strange, like I understand to an extent why they did it but book Nat would have a fit if she figured out she was supposedly friends with Andie 😂 I think she loses quite a bit of her character building when we leave out how much her nudes getting leaked affected her (it seems like almost a minor thing in the show) and her act of violence while trying to go to college that put her on probation. Especially since it's a large reason why Pip suspected her in the first place (her reasoning seems pretty weak in the show)

Where the heck is Stanley?! He's pretty important for season 2; of all the characters to cut you wouldn't think it would be him!

I really miss the scene where Ravi and Pip recreated the timeline to prove Sal's innocence - it was such a potent moment!

I miss hearing Naomi's backstory - we get a bit of it implicitly by the way she acts and her confession, but I think it adds a lot to her character to know more about her anxiety and depression and how it caused her to drop out of college

We miss some of Pip's bad ass moments! Again, this is possibly because we are seeing things from an objective POV and we can't see inside of her head, but I loved reading about how knowledgeable she is about true crime, how much research she did, and how much that informed her actions. I also missed seeing how much she defended the Singh family and Ravi specifically. That scene in the grocery store where she told off the cashier for being so rude to Ravi is one that I dearly miss

Pip accusing Max of raping Becca doesn't hit as hard when she did it over the phone and I hate that he didn't truly confess like he did in the book. And they didn't bring up Nat's rape at all (or Nat in general very much). Her confronting Max and Naomi was such a badass moment for Pip and I'm sad that we missed it

Becca's wig in that flashback. Yikes.

Becca taking Pip to the well (or whatever it is - I feel like it was called something else but it's not coming to mind) made her seem less sympathetic to me than when she just drugged her without much of a plan. "Now I'm going to have to put you in there with her," was so freaking sinister

Things I'm not sure about

In some ways I like the addition of Pip seeing Andie and Sal after they obviously argued - the guilt she felt after that and how that would motivate her to look into the case makes a lot of sense. However, I think I prefer her only looking into the case because she trusted and believed in Sal because of how kind he was to her. I think that the fact that she rarely doubted Sal in the books was really compelling and we lose a lot of that when Pip is concerned that she might have played a part in Sal finding Andie after their fight, therefore possibly contributing to her death

I don't think the video to lure the killer out was necessary but I think they did it to move the story along quicker. I wish we could have seen more of Pip's notes since that is what they wanted in the books when they kidnapped (dognapped?) Barney

I think I prefer them finding Andie's planner over the note in her bunny - it seems to make more sense than just a random note and I like how it gives us a small look into her life (her struggling to read the Revengers was a cute little detail and showed us that she is still a teenager). That being said, the note does the job and it feels a bit nit picky, so I'm not super upset by it

Having Isla tell Pip about Sal's murder was interesting - I'm not super mad about it but it definitely changed a lot, especially since neither of them think she's Andie and he keeps her captive to further hide Sal's murder. Somehow it makes Mr. Ward even more sinister

Having the plot line of Ravi leaving, coming back, and then him and Cara track her down was definitely different. I can decide which way I prefer it. Ravi leaving seemed really random and rushed but I did like that Cara had a part in her rescue (see the hilarity of the tracker above)

Though I enjoyed seeing PipRavi get together by the end of the season, I will miss their awkward tip toeing around each other as Ravi tries to ask her out!

All in all I really enjoyed it - I think it's one of those that I'll also get a lot out of after rewatching it. If you got this far, first off, I'm impressed! And second, let me know your thoughts!!

[skaruresonic]

Honestly, as fun as it was to go "Jesse what the fuck are you talking about" at the absurdity of fandom tourists who refused to engage with canon in good faith, it still felt like people explaining the nitty-gritty of how and why Freemance "didn't count" as pedophilia were giving the antis too much ground. Like they were implying there was a point that any given HL ship could be considered too problematic to defend.

As someone who ships Valhoun, which could arguably be considered more problematic than Freemance in this system of moral checks and balances by mere virtue of Barney actually being in his forties or so (although even that is debatable tbh), as opposed to Gordon's Schroedinger's Creepy Old Man Status, needless to say, I found the whole thing ridiculous.

To me it doesn't really matter even if Gordon was 47, because Half-Life exists in a context where real-life social mores don't apply as stringently. Humanity is on its last legs and Eli wants grandkids, yo. I have argued in the past that age gap squicks would likely lessen out of necessity following the Combine's breeding suppression. People need to procreate in order to repopulate the species, after all, and beggars can't be choosers. Kleiner said "get busy fuckin' or get busy dyin'" for a reason.

However, I'm not terribly keen on Freemance because Gordon's blank-slate status means I'd have to make up his characterization in my head, and it just doesn't seem worth the effort. I always feel like I'm shipping a dozen different versions of Gordon rather than Gordon himself. He also... just doesn't react to Alyx, making their chemistry incredibly lopsided. At least Barney goes "Eugh" when Alyx teases him about "not being an animal person"; Gordon just presumably stands there like :I when she cracks her Zombine joke.

Despite lifting somewhat in recent years, fandom has an ironclad "Barney is Alyx's uncle/big bro" fanon, which is just as annoying as "Shadria is incest" because it basically sprang out of nowhere. Canon seems to imply that Barney and Alyx are acquaintances at best, not terribly familiar with each other outside of their faintly overlapping social circles. Kleiner is honestly their only link. Barney, in fact, has less reason than most other older male characters to be considered one of Alyx's honorary uncles. At the very least Alyx suggests the possibility Gordon may have seen her once as a child; no such equivalent exists for Barney. The idea he babysat her is also hilarious considering he never even directly addresses Eli in HL2. On top of that, there's the issue of infantilizing Alyx, which I could rant about for hours. Yes, Valhoun may be just as "fanon" as Uncle Barney headcanons, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking in terms of the series' overarching context. I view Valhoun as a sort of push-pull dynamic between Barney and Alyx, duty stifling love and placed inside a pressure-cooker of sexual repression. Hot. Plus, there's that forbidden fruit aspect of rebel/Metrocop lol. And while I would in a perfect world like to see the two be together, given HL's bleak world, realistically, I don't see it working out. Not even in an "Alyx dumps his ass for Gordon" kind of way, necessarily, but in a "they break up out of fear for each other's safety but there are still lingering feelings if they gaze in the other's wake for too long" kind of way. I have also argued that all three major HL ships bear imbalances. Valhoun does not suffer the experience gap that Freemance and Freehoun would; Barney and Alyx would have shared roughly the same life experiences under Combine rule that Gordon lacks.

[statementlou]

Hey,just wanted to share coz it's bugging me but I always see posts like hope louis gets recognition he deserves after he does any xyz activity n I know it all comes from getting that validation for him. As a fan, we want him to have everythinf but I feel like people always make these high expectations in head n when it do not match their level, they still feel Louis is unknown/non famous. I think he is at very balanced level of fame if I really think where most artists might love to be!!!

anon you are so so right! I reblogged a post about the itunes chart earlier but I will admit I sort of waffled for a second about reblogging it, knowing how people get about it all (before I was like oh dude who cares, it's just information and fun to be like 'our power! damn"... ) Louis didn't write a whole manifesto about changing his priorities and then repeat the same things 100 times over the last years about how much fun he is having making the music he likes instead of chasing those markers of success and how he is just loving life playing shows for everyone, to still be going on about radio play! Honestly his level of fame seems amazing, he can play arenas and STADIUMS, he can get booked to headline festivals, and win awards, and get a million articles about his new record, and he can also chill at Barney's to play pool and fly commercial, you know? Like yes, he keeps going for more more more cause he wants those big crowds and well, why not go for it, but I think he's also pretty happy with how things are and he's not wasting his time trying to get top 40 play anymore cause why bother? He's getting the good parts without it! The man is THRIVING, and honestly as a fan so am I, if some people choose to find things to worry about well... feel free I guess. But I can't think why!

[butchreg]

cg ! sister barnes with rg ! sister paxton headcanons !!

requested by 🤓 anon. i don't really see barnes as paxton's cg i think they both are eensy and look out for each other. she's more of a big sib here i hope that's okay. also she/he barnes propaganda sorry i am literal y her. lps are literally barnespaxton btw left is paxton and right is barnes (˶˃ᆺ˂˶) heretic masterlist here , upcoming list here

permaregressor paxton is so real to me !! she's a teen permaregressor , somewhere between 13 and 16. she does regress younger as well but she never mentally feels above 16 , mayyybe 17 but that's pushing it.

literally the talks a lot and listens duo. paxton excitedly babbling about any and everything and barnes listening intently , not saying much but carefully nodding and humming to let paxton know she's listening and understanding.

barnes who has a strong aversion to touch offering to link arms with a tiny paxton just to make her smile.

paxton calling barnes "barney" which makes him chuckle and her laugh. she knows barnes doesn't like parental titles as she's often regressed too so "barney" is something silly and that works better. sometimes she'll call her "bubba" though which can be used for either a regressor or caregiver so works perfectly.

paxton who always "sneaks" toys into their shared bag , and barnes who lets paxton believe she's sneaky but always knows. paxton offering for them to stop and rest if she can see barnes getting overwhelmed and barnes nodding appreciatively , thanking her and asking her , "why don't you show me who you brought today?" paxton's voice helps barnes to ground himself and she loves the shy blush that spreads across paxton's cheeks who thought barnes hadn't noticed her toys.

paxton always finds her and barnes in everything. she has plushies , lps , calico critters , dolls , anything you can imagine that are named after her and barnes.

barnes loves reading to paxton it's very calming for both of them. paxton gets distracted easily , asking barnes lots of off topic questions or to recap what just happened. barnes chuckles but is happy to oblige , explaining everything in detail.

barnes who sometimes will go too long without taking a break and little ! paxton who will encourage him to have a break and stim with her. barnes gets a little shy about stimming but admires how open paxton is about it , appreciating that even when small she's looking out for her. paxton gets all giggly and barnes gets all blushy but their little stim breaks always help barnes feel better and more relaxed.

paxton is always telling barnes so many jokes , many of them the kind that make no sense but are funny to little kids. barnes sometimes gets a little confused , cocking her head but usually she'll humor paxton and pat her head or playfully elbow her telling her it was a good one even if it didn't really make sense at all.

paxton is the type of tiny who laughs at everything while barnes isn't one to laugh out loud much ever. paxton is always trying to find things that'll make barnes laugh though she gets bummed out when he doesn't find the things she finds funny as funny as she does. barnes who explains she does find them funny she just struggles to display emotion after being trained not to.

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's remaster...

[Spoilers below cut]

Aha! I've expected as much, they usually release a regular episode or a Remaster. It's been a while since they've done one of these, I honestly thought we were going to get one during the Puzzle Park arc, which of course didn't happen.

Let's see, the OG "Return to Freddy's Spaghettria" episode was...

9 YEARS AGO?!?!?

...time isn't real, guys. I feel old old. Makes sense though, the OG has 44 million views, being one of the most popular videos on the channel. It's a no-brainer. also it was spooky month *does the dance* a few days ago.

Anyway, since it's a remaster, this post is going to be a lot shorter than usual.

(the following is my reaction:)

ah, of course, the updated graphics

and Mario going from his polygonal 64 model to his current one

but also peach's castle.... ahem, let's keep going

"no more saying cuss words guys" oh right, susan is watching over us

[*sigh*] i miss my wife, tails. i miss her a lot, I'll be back

gotta make the reference I'm sorry

go off Mario, show those dance moves

also can I just say, I love how expressive Mario is now. It's one of the things I love about the show

WIZARD ROCK IS BACK!!!! it's been so long

man, i'm old

omg the barney song (listen, I was a PBS Kid and I've indeed watched barney when I was a child soooo I still find it wild to hear that song again.)

"do you like popsicles?" oh hey a spongebob... oh...

....i'm overthinking this i'm overthinking this i'm overthinking this

uh, moving on!

and mario using mr. yeast to barricade the door... [*IGBP flashbacks*]

Welcome, everyone, to "Let's Remind Ink of the Show's Past Arcs and Current Mysteries" :)

"remember the locket :)" "YEAH I KNOW I KNOW"

that camera work tho

cocomelon... WHY AM I GETTING FLASHBACKS

pizza :D

[*claps in terror*]

well, that's new from the OG.... okay, look, I know this purple thing is from something else and not related to anything at all i get that BUT I just got reminded of meme rehab

happy halloween to me specifically ig, thanks Team

DAMN his coin count lowered from 24 coins in the OG to just 14 coins in the remaster

WII SPORTS, I love all the references to it in this episode

"who wants a muffin?" "no" "but I wanna die :D" /ref

the mickey mouse audio.... LEAVE ME ALONE *flachback* AAAH *flashback* AAAAAAHHHHH

SMG4 HIIII :D good to see blue Mario every now and then

and some voice acting wow

RAVE PARTY

hold up, i gonna pull out the crafting table for this one

mario can and will teleport behind you when he wants to

pizza :D

also congrats to ArrowDustt for your art being featured in the credits 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Another pleasant episode. It's really fun to see how much the Team has improved over the years while still being the show. It is a remaster so it's pretty much the same storyline, but the animation and editing and voice acting and so much more. Go show some appreciation for the Team!!

As much as I'm here for the loreeeeeeeee, I wouldn't mind if the rest of the year is just filled with silly episodes. it's the silly meme show after all... but Team, was it really necessary to remind me that these characters had trauma from previous episodes? well, guess what? it's day of the dead for me so your plan failed aha!!! /silly

Yeah, I do look too much into stuff sprinkled in the background or the episode in general, it's kinda my thing. Don't mind me overanalyzing the bingo numbers from the last episode. Anyway, it was nice of Ben (the thumbnail artist) to show some of the behind-the-scenes.

Stretchy boi :) Love when the Team does these kinds of things. By the way, if anyone was curious, the WOTFI website is still up. Interesting....

Well, my dear fellows, that's all for now. Curious to know what the next remaster will be, and as always, looking forward to what shenanigans the SMG4 Crew will be up to next week. Hmm, maybe I'll post another episode concept (angst or fluff, no in-between >:] hehehe). Take care, and I'll see you all next time!!! pizza :D

...

BUT ALSO GOOP!FOUR— *green screen explosion*

[quietlyimplode]

the language of flowers and silent things

Whumptober 2023: Day 18 - I tend to deflect when I’m feeling threatened

Warnings: mentions of child abuse

Word Count: 2.1k (gif not mine)

Summary: Tony challenges Natasha and she challenges herself in going back to a place she thought she’d never return to.

A/N: <3

Masterlist

Whumptober Masterlist

.

2014

NEW YORK

Tony find Natasha in the elevator. The pull of it going up and down, he steps on and ignores the fact that she doesn’t say anything for ten floors.

It’s all he has in him, before he breaks the silence.

“What are you going to do?” he inquires.

She shrugs, clearly not ready to talk.

They continue to go up, reaching the roof before the door opens with a ding.

“Are we getting out?” he asks, holding the door open.

Tony thinks that likely, she would like to keep going up and down, it’s what Clint does, but he also likes the roof.

He’s a substitute but maybe he can help, he wants to help, whatever ha can do.

Natasha nods and exits.

The night air was brisk and though the light pollution of the city gave it a warm glow, he looks up and comments on the stars.

He’s glad Steve convinced him to put some seating out here because he moves towards it and seems to pull her with him.

“Have you ever thought of marrying Pepper?” Natasha asks, the question out of the blue.

He chokes a little on his saliva, grabbing a bottle of water, handing her one too. The delay gives him time to think.

“Yes,” he replies honestly.

“Do you have cold feet?” he asks.

The subject of Natasha and Clint’s wedding was something that everyone seemed to talk about when they weren’t around.

She smiles small.

“No, I don’t think so,” she tells him.

She leans back.

“Why haven’t you asked her?”

Her push feels fair that he asks a personal question back, though he’s not sure he’s not being mean.

“I don’t know,” he lies.

She glances at him.

“Yes, you do.”

Tony suppresses the biting remarks that flow through his mind and then he glances at Natasha, his friend who doesn’t say or do anything without cause.

If she’s baiting him, it’s for a reason.

He sighs heavily.

“Sorry I deflect when I’m feeling threatened,” he apologises, not really meaning it but thinking harder on how to phrase his reasoning.

“She shouldn’t be tied to me,” he starts, “I’m a mess on a good day, a disaster on the worse ones. Why would she want to be married to me? I’ve traumatised her and pushed her further than any one should, including setting Iron Man suits on her.”

He pauses.

“But you love her,” Natasha asks, cutting him off.

He nods.

“Yes,” he responds definitively.

“And she loves you?”

He doesn’t respond straight away.

“Do you think it should be that easy?” he asks, getting into the philosophical debate.

Natasha doesn’t answer straight away.

“I never thought I was the marrying type. I can’t have kids, I’m not… normal. I have a lot of trauma that impacts on so many things, and my life… I suppose it’s not stable.”

Looking to the sky, she continues.

“But he convinced me that it didn’t matter. Having kids, the trauma, the life I… we lead, it’s just part of who I am. He tells me often it doesn’t matter, I think it does but maybe not in the way he thinks. When we agreed to get married, we provided we’d find Yelena. Find Barney too, so we would have some family with us. It seemed important the time. It should be that easy maybe, to commit to another who sees all your flaws and the bad things about you and still want to marry you.”

Tony stays still, making his body freeze whilst she talks. He has so many questions, so many retorts and quips, but he restrains himself.

“Barney being dead, makes it easier. Yelena being alive, makes it harder. It was the rules we decided on, and since she’s been back, we haven’t talked about it much. I think maybe he’s forgot, maybe that he doesn’t want to anymore, but then he hugs me; kisses me and I know it’s not true. But what if because he doesn’t have family there, that I shouldn’t either.”

She lets the thought hang in silence and he laughs at her.

“You’re an idiot,” he tells her.

Natasha stands and turns on him.

“No no, don’t be huffy, don’t leave. I’m just saying, that you two are made for each other. None of us are normal, he asked, you agreed, and so the world isn’t bowing down to the arbitrary rules you sent it, maybe you just need to have a conversation about making a date instead of ruminating on the fact that likely the day won’t hold all your ideals.”

He stands.

“Pick a date,” he says.

She frowns at him.

“What?”

“Go on,” he jibes, “pick a date, do it now.”

“Is this really the reason why you were riding the elevator?” he asks.

Natasha shakes her head.

“No, Yelena has made contact under the house you provided, she wants to meet. There’s a house in Ohio,” she says softly. “A place I never wanted to back to.”

“Pick a date,” he urges, “there’s no time like the present.”

He calls to Jarvis and asks for Clint to meet them on the roof; in response Natasha punches him in the arm.

“Ow,” he complains.

“How are you getting to Ohio?” he asks, changing the subject.

“Can I borrow a plane?”

Tony shrugs, “of course.”

“She’d say yes in a heartbeat, you know,” Natasha throws at him, “Pepper is a superhero in her own right. She’s my friend and your partner. I think she left the life of normal a while ago.”

Tony thinks on it.

Natasha is right.

She’s always right, it seems.

Clint appears near them, and he frowns.

“When’d you get here?”

The easy grin of the archer is infuriating.

“You rang?” he laughs.

Tony looks to Natasha.

“He thinks we should pick a date for the wedding,” she admits.

“I was unsure you still wanted to get married, given the Yelena situation.”

Clint cocks his head.

“December 30th,” he says decisively.

Natasha spurts a laugh.

“What?”

“December 30th,” he repeats.

Clint looks from Tony to Natasha, “sorry, I should have said something. It’s just, you hadn’t mentioned it and I wanted to book the place out and…”

He cringes.

“December 30th, do you have anything on that day?”

Natasha laughs and hugs him.

“Only one thing.”

Tony eyes them.

“I don’t either,” he says in a deadpan voice.

Clint claps him on the back.

“Then I suppose you’d better come too,” he smiles.

.

Yelena waits in the apartment, opening all the cupboard doors, exploring the place and taking the bits she wanted.

Freelance, she decided was the easiest thing to do.

It gave her the freedom to pursue her own investigations, whilst providing an income stream.

She could thank Natasha, but in truth, she’s still not sure how she feels about the tentative relationship.

There is something she wants to give her though.

Relationships, family, are not things that seemed to come easily for Yelena; or more accurately, they weren’t things that stayed.

A lifetime of abandonment issues, she thinks, and then laughs at herself.

A knock at the door breaks her from her reverie, and judging by the gait, she assumes it’s Natasha behind the double barrel locked door.

Hand on her gun anyway, she opens the door.

“I’m unarmed,” Natasha opens.

She takes the gun out and shows her. Natasha’s hair is braided tightly, two separate Dutch braids running down her head.

“Are you ready?”

Yelena sits back on the table.

“Depends, where are we going?”

Natasha takes a breath.

“What are you doing on December 30th?”

The question makes Yelena laugh, she shakes her own hair out and starts to braid it too.

“Right now? I have no plans,” she responds, “freelancer now, remember?”

Natasha stands back and watches Yelena copy her hair style, braiding her hair tightly like Natashas.

“Ohio?”

Yelena finishes and stares for a minute, gathering thoughts.

“I want to show you something. I hid something there before we left.”

Natasha clenches her jaw and takes a breath.

“You do not want to go back, do you?” she surmises.

The obvious answer is no, but Natasha refrains from saying it.

“What do you need to get?” she asks, “we can go at any time, the car out the front will take us to the airfield.”

Yelena moves to the door, opening it for Natasha.

“After you,” she tells her, “I’ll explain on the way.”

.

OHIO

Yelena’s apprehension is masked but Natasha feels she sees right through it.

The car ride is silent and the plane, through private is met with a mutual team work to fly it the brief hour and a half to the Ohio airfield.

Natasha doesn’t push; as much as she wants to know what this is all about.

If Yelena is preparing to kill her, then it seems a strange way to do it, to drown her in memories and then kill her where they first became something other than strangers.

Their old house is abandoned.

Something Natasha didn’t expect but the spate of gentrification towards the centre of the city caused other houses to be run down.

A Russian spy house perhaps no different.

Natasha doesn’t want to go in.

She balks at the door for a second before following Yelena in.

She remembers so much and had forgotten so much more.

The room they had seems so small.

The stairs she ran up and down, that she hid under on more than one occasion.

The kitchen where she was beaten, and the toy room Melina would give them lessons in.

She feels her skin crawling, as Yelena leads the way.

Keeping her breathing even, she focuses on doubling breaths, breathe in, breathe in, breath out. It helps to focus her.

She takes some photos, it’s one thing explaining things to Clint, it’s another to see what it looks like.

Natasha thinks that someone must have lived here after they did. They left everything, in the haste they left in, but none of the items left behind looks or feels familiar.

Yelena heads up the stairs, finds the attic opening and hoists herself up.

“You can stay there,” she calls down.

It takes Yelena around five minutes to find what she was looking for, in that time the sky opens up and starts to rain.

Thunder claps and lightning brightens the sky.

As Yelena drops down, she has a wooden box in hand, a wooden box that used to be Natasha’s.

“Hey—“ she starts, but stops when she sees Yelena’s face, holding the box with two hands as she hesitantly passes it across.

“You—“ Yelena sighs, “you struggled at Christmas. I think you knew it was all coming to an end. Maybe anyway. You were mean. I didn’t understand then, Alexei… he wasn’t kind to you; us. But more to you as his stress increased, he left more. Left you in charge. I think it’s one of my favourite memories.”

She takes a deep breath.

“You gave me something for Christmas that year, do you remember?”

Of course she does.

The blue ribbon, the pictures.

The ones Yelena had given her still sit in her favourite book in her own personal safe in the tower. The most precious of possessions.

It seems, Yelena had the same idea.

“Open it,” she says quietly.

Natasha does, slowly, finds the blue ribbon inside and can’t help the tears that pool in her eyes.

She closes the box and hugs Yelena.

If Yelena doesn’t want it or doesn’t expect it, she doesn’t say anything or pull back, instead she nestles her head in the crook of Natasha’s neck and hugs her back.

“Thank you,” Natasha whispers, pulling back and resting her head on Yelena’s.

“You remembered.”

Yelena pulls back, wiping a tear, and turning her back.

“I wanted you to have it, just in case,” she sighs.

The words don’t match the mood and Natasha questions her.

“Just in case of what?”

Yelena shrugs.

“Life?” she deflects.

Anxiety stirs in Natasha, and she touches the box carefully.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” she asks, hoping that Yelena will say yes.

There’s a little nod, as they leave the childhood house, Natasha taking one last look.

“It feels smaller,” she says more to herself.

Yelena turns back and looks with her.

“Maybe we’ve just grown,” she responds, and leads the way out.

.

[sincerelyhannahx]

rereading 'a good girl's guide to murder'

i did this for my first time read of 'a curse for true love' and actually really enjoyed the process, so welcome to my thoughts rereading 'a good girl's guide to murder' for (i want to say fourth?) time. obviously there will be spoilers ahead, so you have been warned.

RAVI <333

'i pacifically think you're better off without him' 'i antlantically think so too' i'm convinced this is a conversation taken directly from my gc.

lauren, you are not a girl's girl. i hope the heartbreak stings </3

stanley, why have you got to be a racist and then go and make me feel sorry for you later? it'd be so much easier if characters were one-dimensional.

how is ravi already so 😍🥰😭

PIKACHU ONESIE WITH A TUTU ARE YOU KIDDING??? this whole thing is just going to be me screaming over ravi and i am not sorry.

'one of his perfect smiles' pip its chapter six you can't be this down bad already. ik i am but that's different.

leslie - what i'm about to say i want you to know i mean it with my whole heart - i despise you.

TALK NERDY TO ME <333

sorry since when does ravi work at the pub???

i'm eternally grateful that holly jackson is british.

'when are the boys getting here?' lauren you couldn't be more of a pick-me if you tried.

'Stop digging, Pippa.'

BECCA WAS SEEING STANLEY??? HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THAT???

help the liking photos from five years ago - that's rule one of internet stalking.

and at long last we start to board the 'max hastings is a dirty piece of shit' train. all aboard!!!

pip trying to buy drugs is so funny.

PIPPA FITZ-AMOBI YOU ARE EVERYTHING I ASPIRE TO BE AND MORE.

pipravi <333

'You stupid bitch. Leave this alone while you still can.' Was this Elliot? Because I know he's got a lot to lose but 'bitch' seems a bit out of character. Wait, Nat's note in Andie's locker also said 'You stupid bitch', so maybe it was her. I can't remember.

PIPRAVI <333 where do i find a ravi singh? please universe send one to me.

'REAL MEN WEAR FLORAL WHEN TRESPASSING' FUCK YEAH THEY DO!!!

help ravi's scared of cats i didn't remember that either.

ravi singh i am humbly asking for your hand in marriage.

i am officially a member of the 'nat da silva deserves better' party.

'who's taking the picture?' has to be up there with top ten plot twists of all time LIKE ITS SO CLEVER AND SO GOOD!!!

i'm also a member of the 'sal singh deserved so much better' party. ugghhhhh it actually makes me so mad.

BARNEY :((

DON'T HURT RAVI; THAT HURTS ME :((

holly jackson, i will be invoicing you for my therapy bills.

'hello, trouble' AND SUDDENLY ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD AGAIN I AM GIGGLING KICKING MY FEET TWIRLING MY HAIR OVER RAVI SINGH ONCE MORE!

i'm so dead serious - where do i find a ravi?

the fact she's been setting up clues for book three this whole time is astounding. how does she do it? i'm genuinely asking, holly jackson, please teach me your ways.

becca bell i'm so sorry.

the fact we skipped the start of pipravi's relationship will never not leave me asking for more LIKE WHO MADE THE FIRST MOVE? WHAT WAS THEIR FIRST DATE? GIVE ME THE DETAILS!

'i'm ravishing' RAVI SINGH WE DO NOT DESERVE YOU <333

the fact max hastings walks free represents everything wrong with the world. but where we don't have justice, we have pippa fitz-amobi.

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Blue Castle Book Club Catch Up Post

Sorry for having vanished for a while -- it has been a busy week!

I want to start all the way back in chapter 32, because honestly Valancy frankly deciding that Barney committed bank fraud is my favorite scene/passage. Like, girl went, 'oh yeah, my husband is definitely a criminal, but he didn't do, like, a real crime. Financial crimes don't count, and anyway, I bet he feels bad about it!'

It also tracks with her earlier idle musing that he was counterfeiting money in Bluebeard's Chamber.

I'm also curious why Barney has that newspaper clipping. Did he just use it as a bookmark one day and forget about it? I don't think it ever comes up again.

Skipping over chapter 33 and on to Allan Tierney. We're told that "He was reputed to be a lonely, eccentric man." (Fic prompt: Tierney asks to paint Valancy when both Snaiths are home. They still say no, but they end up becoming friends with him, since he spends his summers on the lake.)

I know others have said they don't like Barney's flatly refusing to let Tierney paint Valancy. I think the reason it doesn't bother me as much is because she also doesn't want to be painted, so the narrative isn't upset that Barney said no. Although I do need to repeat that it's such a good thing that Valancy's in a fairy tale and not a horror story, because the amount that she's wildly uninterested in anyone but Barney is almost uncomfortable. Not that she doesn't like other people -- she has no issues hanging out with Roaring Abel, and she even contemplated visiting her family last chapter -- but she doesn't really care. Even here, when Barney says he had a caller, she is "surprised but indifferent".

Someone better versed than me in actual proper faerie mythology might have a better take on this, but it feels like Valancy has just straight up entered fairy land, with its good and its bad parts. There was a lot of imagery when she first went to Barney's island about entering a fae world, and she's been compared to a spirit several times now, including by Tierney. And she is now utterly indifferent to the mortal world. She does not care what they think, she does not care what their rules are, she is no longer part of their world. In chapter 27, after she told her family she was married, Uncle Benjamin helplessly suggested that she was a changeling, and it feels like Valancy has, like, reverse-changeling'd herself. Instead of the faeries coming to the human world and leaving a faerie child, Valancy went to the faerie world and said, 'I'm here, take me.' And the faerie world did.

Only, again, this is a fairy tale with a lot of the rough edges removed, so the parts that could be bad -- isolation, indifference to the world, alienation from people she once knew -- are presented as entirely positive. Valancy turned her back on the human world, gave herself freely to the faeries, and she was right to do so.

(Fic idea: Valancy as Janet from Tam Lin.)

And Valancy figures out that Barney likes her! In Valancy's defense, I'm not sure how long it took Barney to figure out that Barney likes her, so she can be excused for not figuring out something he didn't even know.

I like her reasoning for not wanting him to love her. It honestly makes perfect sense. Like, she wants him to be sad when she dies, because that means he enjoyed her company, but she likes him too much to want him to be devastated. I do think she is underestimating him -- he didn't love Cissy romantically, and he was clearly devastated when she died, so even if he just likes Valancy as a friend, it wouldn't be easy for him to watch her die. Like, sorry Valancy, your husband is going to be sad when you die.

It is interesting how little emphasis this book puts on the notion of being loved. It is very much about how loving others is good and freeing and meaningful, but there is very little about the value of being loved. One of these days I'll write out my whole essay about Barney and the experience of being desired, but for now I'll leave it at -- coming from a literary tradition (largely but not entirely fanfiction) where unrequited love is seen as a fate as bad as if not worse than death, it's kind of refreshing to see it treated this way. Valancy isn't in control of Barney's feelings and she doesn't need anything from him. She's glad he enjoys her company, but her happiness has nothing to do with whether or not he loves her back. It's all about her, her feelings, her desires, her actions.

Gonna stop here, because this is super long, and come back in a new post for a Dramatic Tone Shift.

[moldygreenblue]

Sometimes I forget that 'Cats (1998)' trailer appeared on Barney's Great Adventure as one of the previews

Having finally watched Cats (2019), it's not as bad as everyone made it out to be when it first came out. Like it is very not a good film, but there's a charm to it that I can't help but like (some parts have more charm than others; Skimbleshank's number is a good example of it). But honestly speaking, I wouldn't watch it again.

Or at least, the not whole movie in its entirely. I feel maybe if I watched it as a bunch of disjointed music videos with a theme being an adaptation of T.S. Eliot poems, I enjoy it a lot more (with edits that omits the interruptions; The Rum Tum Tugger number really could have done without the Rebel Wilson's interruptions).

And having watch Cats (2019), and knowing I have Cats (1998) and being obsess with Cats in my younger years (mainly pre-teen years) and still on occasional listen to the songs of any production I can get access to (chores, excising, trying to drone out stuff by putting in my headphones, etc), I realize that I haven't watched the movie in a few years. And I figure, "Hey! Why not watch the movie you watched so many times when younger that annoyed the hell out of your family?"

And I re-watched it. I honestly forgotten how much I enjoy it! Got to love the obvious edits in parts of songs especially so (I know that some cut parts were release/found, and I hope someone managed to edit them back in in an ultimate fan edition).

Having re-watched it, and maybe it's because Cats (2019) omitted this part out due to the restructuring of having Victoria as the protagonist + audience stand in, something finally occurred to me that never did crossed my mind before.

Why is 'The Man Over There' in the junkyard in first place?

(Note: I know this applies to other/all productions, but since I watched the 1998 movie, it's the one with 100% focus)

This legit had me going down a spiral of over-thinking, and an answer (of a wild mass guessing kind), which will be under the cut for this post got a bit longer than I expected:

So, during the pyramid section of Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats, a boot drops from a nearby house or apartment/flat [near/over the junkyard] to interrupt them. The cats don't stop their singing. Sure, they pause, but they go back to the singing in seconds. And also steal away the boot (they don't want anyone tripping over it).

It's only after they finish the number does Asparagus notices that "there's a man over there". We now have a random human stumbling on a bunch of cats singing and dancing so late at night (how late, very late for Jemima to eventually sing 'Daylight' and let us know it's almost dawn near the end of the musical).

And on a similar note that I swear is related to to the topic at hand, Asparagus is the cat to notice the man first before everyone else. I don't want to say he ratted the man's flabbergasted look of 'wtf is going on what is a jellicle cat'. But I'm 100% certain Asparagus is smirking as the rest of the scene unfolds. That to me, personally feels as if he knew what likely going to happen next (re: the man is now stuck with them for the rest of the night).

So, back to the topic. Why is 'The Man Over There' in the junkyard in first place? Why did the man came to the junkyard of all nights?

Because 'The Man Over There' (who Asparagus knows and/or recognizes), dropped the boot into the junkyard in the first place.

Stay with me. This make sense when you overthink all the details.

The Man Over There lives near/over the junkyard. He has a window over it. It's not the prettiest sight to look at, but he's not cursing its existence. It's not causing trouble.

Until now, on this particular night. On this particular night, a colony of cats are suddenly meowing and screeching together. The cats in their congregation, wakes the Man up. And the Man is not happy. He is grumpy for getting waken before his alarm could do it, and he thinks he can get a bit more shut-eye if he can gets the cats to stop their 'singing'. And what does the Man does? Throw one of his boots.

There is silence for about five seconds, before the 'singing' starts up again. The Man was not expecting that outcome. He thought they would scattered and leave. Now being fully awake and realizing he needs his boot back (it's a good boot, and it wasn't cheap), the Man decides to go to the junkyard to get it back.

In the junkyard, the Man is rightfully freaking the hell out. He is now hearing the cats sing. Like, actually singing that he can understand. He sees them dancing (are they dancing like they appear in the musical or are they dancing like actual cats on hind legs, I don't know). He is rightfully freaking out, and confused as fuck because he truly has no idea what is going on, in terms of his situation AND due to his sudden ability to understand the singing cats.

As the Man is freaking the fuck out, Asparagus sees the human. Very shocking to see a human in the junkyard of all nights! And the human here is one Asparagus knows! Or rather, seen more frequently than he likes. The Man is a familiar face Asparagus has the odd luck of running into in many places in London, though the Man never seems to notice Asparagus.

And Asparagus quickly connects the dots regarding the boot from earlier ('Oh, so it's HIM who dropped the boot? Well, he's going to get a night he will NEVER forget.') and rats the Man out.

And to be honest, the fact that the Man did in fact, stay for the whole ball, is something I feel is fanfic material and shock there isn't a single fanfic from the past to now that explores this.

[kiefbowl]

Finally another person that hates HIMYM as much as I do. There isn't a show that I hate more tbh, like there are shows I dislike, but that damn show is something else. Just like you I hate what they did to Robin(and she's the only character I kind of liked; I liked Ted when he wasn't trying to be like Barney and when he would actually call Barney out, which sadly wasn't too often)...and I hate how more often than not the show treated Barney's treatment of women as a joke, or rather the show rarely called him out, and i especially hate the way they ended his character arc, I was like "oh now he'll see women as humans" *eye roll*-- I hate that trope so damn much. The show had potential, and the premise was interesting, it's just that the show was filled with the worst tropes and some of the worst characters on today's tv(or ever, really). I just cannot for the life of me understand its popuplarity.

Also, oh my god yes, I totally agree with you on that final season. What the hell were the writers thinking?!

>"I liked Ted when he wasn't trying to be like Barney and when he would actually call Barney out, which sadly wasn't too often"

one of the most unaware things the show does is pretend Barney is a foil to Ted when Ted and Barney are extremely similar in their views of women. The difference is that Barney is always on, and it's always a goofy heightened reality, while Ted will be written fairly straight wrt wanting to sleep with women.

>"I hate that trope so damn much."

a baby daughter fixed me is definitely one of the worst tropes and also is sooooo fucking lazy. they didn't build a story around Barney in which him having a baby girl in the 11th hour would feel cathartic, that's why it feels so cheap. If he had conflicted feelings about his life and about fatherhood at all, it would still be a lazy and misogynistic choice, but it would at least follow some story logic. it's like a big ass trifecta of shit: Robin and Ted endgame, mother dead, Barney has a fucking baby.

Writing that reminds me that they have Robin "fail" both of her love interests by not being able to have children since children are obviously the one true ultimate goal in this story. A child fixes Barney, and Robin wouldn't have ever been able to do that for him. Truly ridiculous. But anyway I haven't gotten that far yet.

>"I just cannot for the life of me understand its popuplarity"

I have thoughts on this, looking back on old subreddits I think a lot of people hand waved unpleasant parts of HIMYM because they wanted to believe the set-up they were seeing was intentional. Most of it was not as intentional as believed and it ended up being poorly done for the actual planned ending. Case in point: the internal life of Robin is clearly not something the writers cared about. But because the story is focused on who she loves and wants to be in a relationship with, fans thought 'well the internal life of Robin is being treated seriously, so I will read into the subtext'. I think this also comes off because Cobie cares about Robin's internal life. I don't think the writers ultimately know why Robin loves Barney, but I think Cobie knows. I wonder if the writers ever really cared what the actors believed was true about their characters. There needs to be some give and take on this even if writers ultimately gets to decide how the story plays out.

Additionally, I think the five leads are very charming and elevate a lot of material, they all have exceptional physical comedy chops. People liked the characters when they were good, tried to close their eyes when they were bad, and hoped the good parts were leading somewhere satisfying.

[stealingyourbones]

Re: you are playing half-life

1) GOOD IT'S GREAT, needs a bigger fandom outside hlvrai. Also maybe look into Black Mesa- the fan made modern remake that is *absolutely beautiful,* one of the few games that would probably actually be worth $60, but is actually only $20, and is a faithful recreation with modern technology.

2) siren pups are called houndeyes! Headcrabs are probably p obvious, but also, the squid face dogs are bullsquids, and the three-armed aliens are vortigaunts!

3) pleas don't slander my boy Barney Calhoun like that he's just a security guard not a cop and in fact is canonically, actively anti-cop/anti-facist in HL2 please he doesn't deserve to have his game rejected like that PLEASE LOVE MY BOY-

Ok im sorry that's all I'm done I'm just passionate about these games I hope u enjoy them ok bye <3

!!! Oh bro you’re so good!! I absolutely LOVE people talking about things they’re passionate about and have a bunch of facts to share!!!!

I KNOW THE NAME OF THE HOUNDEYES NOW!!! Today is a good day :)

I shall play Blue Shift then fuck yeah!!! Was just about to start Half Life 2 so I’m glad I found that out beforehand and play everything in series! I’m absolutely gonna check out that fanmade game that sounds so cool!

As a kid I was pretty much fully isolated from video games as a whole and honestly it’s been a BLAST playing games that are spoiled or well known for many but completely unknown for me! I finished playing the Portal series a few weeks ago and MAN I now know why it is on such a high pedestal!! The games are wonderful and the characters are absolutely iconic. Currently going through well known earlyish PC games, the Doom games, Portal, Half-Life, and slowly chugging my way through chronologically so I can see how video gaming as a whole progressed and evolved! It’s so neat! It’s really hard trying to play a few games though, lots of games expect you to know a lot of stuff so I have to watch lots of videos to make sure I’m not forgetting a Super Important button that does a Super Important Game Mechanic. It’s so cool tho!!!! I’m having such a great time!!!!!!! Thanks for the ask my guy!! :D