#also i love anna kendrick w all my heart

[irwintry]

Jean Jacket

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, drug mention

Summary: Y/N and Luke have been best friends, but they haven’t seen each other in years. Based loosely off of the song “Jean Jacket” by The Summer Set.

Word Count: 9.5k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You messaged him at 10:14 in the morning. It felt unnatural, and a knot formed in your stomach once you hit send.

You:

hey.

string bean

He didn’t reply until 6:24 that night.

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

Don’t call me that.

I’m toned now.

You:

oh my bad

what’s a thicc vegetable

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

I don’t know

You:

you have cool hair

so do asparagus’

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

Don’t call me asparagus.

You:

sorry

sexy stalk of corn

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

I hate you

You:

i love u squid

should i learn how to use photoshop

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

Absolutely not

I don’t want to be photoshopped onto corn

What do you want?

You:

oh sorry am i bothering u

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

Yes

You:

:o

rude

string bean

Message not delivered.

why aren’t my messages sending

did u block me

wtf asshole

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

Hehe

You:

i'm gonna kick ur ass

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

Good luck reaching it.

You:

ok getting on a plane rn

and jokes on u

i'm bringing a step ladder w me

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

I’ll pay

You:

bet?

did u just fucking venmo me

squid????

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

Maybe

You:

luke

do u want me to visit u

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

I just venmo’d you

You:

wait do u rly want me to visit u

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

Yeah.

You:

wait ok shit... when works best for u

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

Literally whenever

You:

don’t u have tours and shit

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

Not for five months

You:

oh fuck.

ok I’ll start looking

shit dude

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

I miss you.

You:

i miss u 2 squid

sorry i mean

string bean

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

JK. Can you venmo me back?

You:

no fuck u

it’s mine now

-

You weren’t in airports often.

You never grew accustomed to the atmosphere–– the hustle and bustle of business class and the lack of knives in terminal restaurants. You had no reason to be acquainted. Yet, there was still a familiar panic that gripped you as you stood shoeless and alone in the line for security. The terminals were each a maze of their own, and the heavy Jansport hanging off of your shoulder pushed down against your tight muscles.

You preferred traveling with another person. In fact, you preferred to not travel at all. The comfort of your home held Jeopardy re-runs and take-out Chinese. Whereas your terminal had startling gate announcements and overpriced froyo, and they didn’t even have toppings. The bathrooms smelled of poo no matter what time you chose to use them, and you sat on the toilet in mild discomfort, suitcase meshed between you in the broken metal stall. The same abandoned luggage announcement had played sixteen times since your arrival through security.

But you tried to think about the positive outcome of your travel. You saw yourself running up to him, hands slipping the bulky luggage to the ground as you threw your arms around him. He stood there smiling and calling you old nicknames you had been forced to read over text for six to seven years. And then he would take your hand and guide you to his car, his ever-present smile never faltering because you were there, and he was with you. It would be just like old times.

You thought about all of the places you would go and the people you would meet. Anxiety puddled your head when you thought about meeting his friends. They were untouchable, glamor and gold and all things Hollywood untold. And you were you, but Luke had changed, too.

-

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

Still arriving at 6:13 in Terminal B?

You:

u bet ur (terminal B)um

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

That was one of your worst.

You:

ur right i gotta work on my comebacks on the flight

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

That wasn’t a comeback...?

You:

tHat WasN’t a CoMebAcK

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

Die.

-

You fell asleep on the flight.

Economy class forced you between a professor in his mid-forties and an athletic coach whose knees nudged against yours every time he shifted. You had started the flight off with a movie, some Anna Kendrick rom-com that stimulated a headache worth three bottles of Ibuprofen. Soon enough you were hobbling over long legs, bladder aching from an unbearable pressure, and then the lavatory was occupied.

You filled the next few hours with a playlist you had made for the flight. Luke’s songs lulled you to sleep–– but you wouldn’t tell him that. You wouldn’t grant him the satisfaction, not unless the moment called for it. That moment only occurred a few times within a year. That moment occurred during the times he came to you when he thought he had no one else.

And you would never tell him how selfish you felt. You would never admit that you loved those moments because you felt important. You felt like he needed you.

You weren’t sure how long you had been asleep for after you woke. The plane was dark and quiet, and not a soul breathed a word. So, you settled down into your seat and kept the light of your phone low. The time was 5:35 in the morning.

The airplane awakened a little after six o’clock, brightness flooding in followed by a chorus of groans and moans. You toyed with the sleeves of your jacket and felt incredibly small. The nerves in your chest simmered, and you thought about the shaky steps you would soon take to reach the arms of an old friend. You didn’t know why the blistering excitement felt so bad. You wanted to sit back down and take a one-way flight all the way back home.

-

Luke was in airports all too often.

He grew accustomed to suitcases rattling against filthy marble floors. He memorized the high-pitched, buzzy tone of squeaking escalators in frequented terminals. The familiarity overwhelmed him, and he had almost convinced himself he was among the many travelers on this day.

But he stood alone, not a single ounce of hurry in his bones while he waited for the arrival of an old best friend. The rising sun outside seeped through the large glass windows, yet the warm colors touched his back and kept his chest cold. He wanted your embrace, and he wanted the heat of your smile. Because he didn’t quite remember how it made him feel. He saw your face through pictures and videos, but the comfort of your presence faded from his memories.

Strangers eyed him. He could picture them searching the depths of their brain and wondering why they knew him. At the moment, he wished he wasn’t known. He wished he was seventeen again, the year the excitement was fresh and when the world didn’t seem so small. He wished he still knew you like he had back then.

Luke was tired.

-

Kermit the little bitch frog 🐸:

i need some fucking food

He felt nauseous and numb as he laughed at your words. It was like stage fright, like the intense, sickening nerves had hadn’t felt in years. His fingers trembled against the screen of his phone.

Kermit the little bitch frog 🐸:

also where r u

can u meet at baggage claim

i get nervous when i have to pick up my bag

i get scared that i’m gonna miss it

is that weird

Luke’s stomach knotted, and he typed out a quick affirmation while he kept his eyes locked on the small crowd of faces. Faces that looked like they hadn’t slept in forty years. But then again, Luke felt as though he looked the same way.

Kermit the little bitch frog 🐸:

what happens if i miss my bag

Luke:

It comes back around.

Don’t worry

Kermit the little bitch frog 🐸:

fffuckkkkkk customs

Luke:

Lol.

Kermit the little bitch frog 🐸:

escalators escalators escalators

Luke:

Eels.

-

Luke swallowed the bile rising to his throat. It had been years. He hadn’t seen you face-to-face in years, and he still wondered what it was about the moment that made him nervous. The anxiety caused him to shiver, and he tugged the sleeves of his sweater up and under his fingers. His eyes ached from lack of sleep, but he hoped your energy would change that. He hoped his nerves would ease the minute you opened your mouth. All he wanted was for it to feel natural.

He thought he saw you. He thought he had immediately recognized you from across the room, but the stranger was in a dress. Luke knew you would never––in your right mind––wear a dress to travel anywhere. So, he kept his eyes on the person as they walked away, and then there was a tap on his shoulder.

“Hey Squid.”

Luke glanced to his right, heart stammering in his chest at the sound of your voice. You were smiling, your eyes tired yet warm while the jean jacket you wore swallowed you whole. His jean jacket.

“You busy later?”

He cleared his throat and reached up to brush a few hairs away from his face. He didn’t know how to speak or initiate any kind of touch. He didn’t know how to talk to you anymore. “Yeah, sorry,” he mumbled with a small smile. “Got plans.”

“Ah.” You nodded. “You do?”

Luke hummed. He stuffed his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking. “Meeting up with this old friend,” he said. “They flew all this way t’see me, and to be honest, that was kinda dumb of them.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” you replied with a laugh. “We gonna hug or just like, stand here looking like assholes?”

“The latter,” he said, and you rolled your eyes. Luke laughed as he allowed himself to push down nerves and throw his arms around you. It was a warm hug, just like he wanted it to be. “I see you still got that fuckin’ jacket.”

“Technically, it’s your jacket,” you said, pulling away. Your hair was messy, but he found it endearing. You looked like his best friend even though the years had separated the two of you. You looked soft and sweet, and he didn’t know why he wanted to keep holding you.

You nodded to yourself. “Got my suitcase,” you told him. “No thanks to you. In case you didn’t know, this isn’t baggage claim.”

“Shit,” he muttered. “’m sorry. I’m tired.”

“Oh, sorry to bother you,” you replied, smiling brightly before sending him a wink. “I’ll be going then.” You took a few steps toward the door.

Luke caught your arm. “No, no, you’re not leaving me. We’ve come this far. You’re stuck with me.”

“Oh, joy.”

“I don’t need your sarcasm, babe,” he said, and two of you made your way outside into the cool morning.

You stumbled behind him, your suitcase smacking against large chunks of concrete on the sidewalk. “Babe? Shit. I just shuttered.”

Luke chuckled. His nerves hadn’t disappeared, but he tried hard to ignore them. He felt out of place. He felt as though his head and his body did not exist on the same plane. He felt like he was caught in a dream. Or maybe it was a nightmare.

“Hey, Lu?” You yawned and curled yourself up in the passenger seat of his car.

Luke thought you looked too damn good. He wanted to tell you. “If you put your feet on my dash, I’ll kill you,” he said instead.

You mumbled something incoherent.

Luke slid his keys into the ignition. “Okay, well, that was not English,” he said, “but nice try.”

“Shut up. I’m tired.”

“I’m tired,” he mocked.

You hit his arm, and his laughter filled the small car. “I’ll kill you first. I was gonna ask you if we can get breakfast, but I changed my mind.”

Luke kept his eyes on the road ahead of him, but he ached to look over at you. He ached to take you in and memorize you like he had done over seven years ago. “We can get breakfast, babe,” he said quietly, glancing your way, and then he smiled. Your knees were pressed to your chest, and you had closed your eyes.

At the stop sign, Luke waited a moment to accelerate. The sunrise painted gold into the sky and onto your skin. He wondered if you had always looked this beautiful. He wondered if he had ever thought so before. All he could remember was the present, and every memory was drowned out by the soft scent of your perfume in his car.

The jean jacket you wore had been his once. He never saw how it looked on you. And he never imagined that the sight of you in it would one day take his breath away.

-

“Do you think I should leave it unbuttoned like this?”

“You’re really asking for my opinion on that?”

“Yes.”

You narrowed your gaze.

“Okay, you’re right,” he said, “unbuttoned it is.”

You rolled your eyes. “Love that my opinion is so valued.”

It had only been a day. Your body clock had yet to reset to the time difference, and you spent the afternoon prior knocked out on Luke’s bed with Petunia cuddled against your stomach. It hadn’t been a terrible way to nap, although your neck ached when you woke. The situation was still surreal. You still refused to believe you had traveled across the globe to visit someone you felt like you hardly knew. Except you did know him. He was Luke. He ate his gummy worms with peanut butter.

Yet, your eyes lingered on his figure on your way into his kitchen. You gazed a little too long when he talked about his plans with you. Whenever he nudged your shoulder or poked your arm, you thought about his touch for a few minutes after. It had only been a day.

And it didn’t take long for him to invite you out to a club.

You didn’t like the feeling of the leather seats against your thighs on the drive into the city. Your shorts had ridden up, and you had the sense that something about the night was off. It wasn’t the intoxicating fragrance of Luke’s cologne or the exposed bit of chest that drove you wild. It wasn’t the unbroken melody he sang loudly or the expensive boots that added an inch or two to his already-towering height. It was how expensive he looked–– how untouchable he was. You had thrift your jean shorts for $15, and Luke was missing a button off of his designer shirt. But there was something else about the night that bothered you, and you couldn’t quite place it. So, you belted along to his favorite songs and pretended as though you didn’t feel sick to your stomach.

Luke’s smile hardly faltered throughout the night. He introduced you to faces you assumed you would never see again, and then he would buy you another drink without asking. You could feel his energy, and not even the blasting bass could distract you from the weight of his laughter. He knew everyone, but it didn’t come as a shock. He had always loved people, and people had always loved him.

So, you sat quietly on the couch, feeling miles apart yet inches away at best. You twirled the tiny straw with two fingers and watched your old best friend bounce from person to person. He had a big heart, you told yourself, he loved people. But the thoughts never pushed down the sinking feeling that he had forgotten about you. It was halfway through the night, and you had been sitting alone for forty-seven minutes. Luke was nowhere to be seen.

You:

luke

You placed your phone in between your thighs. One single text had sent your heart into your throat, and you weren’t sure why. You weren’t sure why you felt so sick at the thought of his response.

You:

r u ok

where’d u go

A few strangers crowded around the couch Luke placed you at. It was his usual spot, he said. No one ever took his spot. But you sat alone, and not a soul cared to join you. They knew you didn’t belong here.

You:

string bean

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

I’m okay.

:-)

You sighed, letting your head rest against the leather cushion while you watched drunken interactions play out. A song you recognized played throughout the cramped club, and you wished you were anywhere else. You wished you were on a bench overlooking the ocean with a bag of tacos separating you and your friend. You wished you were on the bike path by your house, hand-in-hand with someone you had known all too well. You wished you hadn’t fallen witness to a life you had no part in. You wished you could be the person he wanted you to be.

You:

ok i’m just chillin

The empty glass from your drink had perspired onto the table. After a while, the heat of the room had melted the ice as well, and you were stuck wishing you could conjure up the courage to join the crowd. But you couldn’t. You felt out of place, like you didn’t quite belong. All eyes told you so. You carried on waiting, but you were no longer sure what it was you were waiting for.

You:

r u getting hungry

You stopped waiting for a response after fifteen minutes. Luke had left you for two hours in a club, in some town you had never been to before. He had left you, and you had only been with him for a day. An unsettling feeling grew in your stomach, but you wanted to reject it as much as you could. It was Luke, the boy who shot carrots out of his Nerf Guns but ended up giving himself a black eye. It had to be the same Luke.

You gathered up some strength to stand up. The battery on your phone had been roasted from too many games of Solitaire, and Luke still wasn’t answering your texts. You reached down for your sweating drink, but a pair of arms wrapped themselves around your shoulders before you could.

“Sleepy,” he said, smushing his face against your back. “Why do you smell like pancakes?”

Your body felt frozen beneath his touch. Every muscle tensed. “I don’t,” you replied. “Can we–– can we go? Is that okay?”

Luke’s arms slid off of you, and you could feel his presence now to the right of you. And for some reason, your head hurt at the thought of looking at him. Yet, you did. His curls had slicked down against his rosy, albeit shiny skin, and his eyes were red and droopy. For those few seconds, you weren’t sure why you had thought him attractive. But it quickly changed. He was looking at you, completely looking at you, and he could tell something was wrong.

“Yeah,” he said, his lips falling into a frown. “Course. You okay?”

You nodded and swallowed back the aching tears that threatened in your eyes. “Jet-lagged,” you mumbled. “That’s all.”

Luke nodded, too. “Okay. Yeah. We can go. I’ll get us an Uber.”

“What will you do about your car?”

He seemed to shrug it off, but it was hard to tell through the mass of sweaty bodies. “She’ll be fine. I’ll find a way to get her.”

“I’m sorry.” You hugged your arms close to your chest as the heat from the club transformed into the cool night air.

“No big deal,” said Luke. “Just another Uber trip to come get her. Then I can take her right back.”

“No, um, about leaving,” you responded. “I’m sorry that I wanted t’leave.”

Luke glanced at you from over his shoulder, brows furrowed and lip tugged between his teeth. “Don’t be, babe. I was gonna leave soon anyway.”

You nodded, and an uneasy silence settled in the air. You wished for the right words to say, but you brain went blank, and you found yourself counting cars that passed by.

“It’s really good to see you again,” said Luke after a while. His voice was low and hoarse, and it made you feel a new type of warmth. “Forgot what it was like t’be with you. It’s nice. Like a breath of fresh air.”

You smiled at him, but you knew that was all you could do.

“Missed you a lot.” He smiled at you, too, and through that smile, he whispered, “I’m just really happy you’re here.”

-

Luke thought it hurt to look at you. Because when he did, he was reminded of the person he had left behind, the person he could have been had he stayed. You reminded him of a lost potential within himself, and he didn’t like it. It made him feel dejected, like a lost cause. And looking at you caused much more pain than that. Looking at you was like looking at the world in color for the first time. He saw you differently, and he wondered if this was how he was always supposed to see you.

It was unavoidable— the dawning feeling that only worsened every day. You had only been with him for a week. A whole week of stealing glances and swallowing down irritant thoughts that a best friend shouldn’t have. A part of him felt like he couldn’t call himself that. He felt like he knew you, but he didn’t know you. He read your personality through words and not actions. Maybe it was time he opened his eyes to the person you had become.

-

Kermit the little bitch frog 🐸:

can u not send me tweets rn

u r literally right next to me

loser

Luke:

Can you not be rude?

Kermit the little bitch frog 🐸:

no

Luke:

Fight me.

Kermit the little bitch frog 🐸:

hehe ok

kinky

Luke:

Shut up

Kermit the little bitch frog 🐸:

i feel the sexual tension already

-

Luke took a breath and glanced your way. The afternoon had been spent with his friends; a brimming beer cup soirée spent around the fire in Calum’s backyard. And for some reason, Luke felt like an anomaly. He had better luck counting the hairs on his leg than concentrating on a single conversation. Meanwhile, you cradled your first drink of the night, torso hidden behind the heavy jean jacket he once owned. Beneath it, only a floral bathing suit covered you, and it was enough to make Luke wonder why he had bothered leaving home in the first place.

He couldn’t hear what his friends said, but he could focus in on every little thing about you. From the shape of your legs, all tucked in beneath you to the small smile you wore as you listened to his friends speak. Your hair had dried from the few minutes you spent in the pool, and after a while, you pulled it out of your face and up into a bun. Luke thought you looked pretty, and he knew it wasn’t the initial heat of the fire that warmed him.

But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something else was wrong. You were quiet––timid almost––while you gazed at the palm shadows against the sunset. Even beyond the smiles, you seemed lost. Luke wanted to know why.

-

Luke:

You hungry?

Kermit the little bitch frog 🐸:

fucking starving

tell cal to get better snacks

Luke:

Lol.

I want tacos

Kermit the little bitch frog 🐸:

yoooooooooooooo

can we get tacos?

Luke:

Let’s get some fucking tacos

-

You hadn’t realized how hard it would be.

Luke started a new life for himself seven years prior, and it messed up your world for a while. It had messed up plans and memories you wanted to make with him. You started your own life without the company of your best friend, but he was still a text message away whenever you needed. Because he was still your friend. He still told you every little detail about his life. You knew how things had changed for him, whether they were for better or worse.

You hadn’t realized you would one day face the life he chose for himself. You hadn’t realized how hard it would be. He was the same, but he was so different. Being here simply acted as a reminder that you no longer fit into his life.

It came to you in heavy waves. When the overall reality hit, it hit like a sheet of sadness. You were washed over by emotions while Luke carried on about his favorite restaurant in Italy. You had never been to Italy or France or Spain. You had never been on grandiose adventures, not like Luke. It only hurt because you wished you had been by his side.

The two of you swung by his place for a change of clothes. There was an unexplainable silence that you chose not to break. You felt as though any word from your lips would feel forced, so you kept quiet instead. When you walked back out into the living room in an old tee and leggings, Luke was already there. He was already waiting for you in the patchy jean jacket that you treasured simply because it once belonged to him.

“Still fits, I guess,” he said, and you smiled. It was like old times, so you took a picture of the moment. Luke shot a goofy grin your way, and you had to pretend like it didn’t make your stomach flutter.

“Are there are any taco places you know of that are still open?” you asked Luke after settling into the car. You kept your hands pressed between your thighs. “I’m not really feeling like shitting my pants at a Taco Bell.”

Luke laughed. “Yeah, I know a place.” He turned on the ignition, and right off the bat, a song by The Summer Set began to blast through the speakers. And it felt like a tension had been swept away with the music.

He kept the windows down as you drove, his one hand firm on the wheel and the other out against the breeze. When he sang, he sang low. You couldn’t find it in yourself to sing at all. You could hardly look at him. Yet, you had given into temptation. You gazed at him during the verses and glanced away at the choruses, letting the city lights seep in while you listened to his soft voice. Luke drummed on the wheel during the upbeat melodies, and you found yourself reminiscing on old memories no matter how much you wanted to repress them.

He had always been an awkward kid. The heart on his sleeve never faded or splintered–– it just grew with each passing day. His presence made any form of discomfort wash away, and it still felt that way now. But, as people do, he had changed, and you struggled to find the good in everything. Around you, it was the same Luke you knew. Around others, he had built up a façade for himself. It broke your heart.

Street lamps glistened against the pavement as rain drizzled down. It didn’t last long, and the droplets on the windshield soon dried, but it left an earthy petrichor in the air. A comforting scent that only came with rain. The breeze slipped through your fingers, and you soon felt the words of familiar songs bubble in your chest. They left your lips a second later just as you began to smile. There was something oddly beautiful about the melancholy moment.

So, Luke sang loudly, his hands hitting the wheel while you cried your favorite lyrics. It all came rushing back, and the sorrow melted away. You wished Luke had never left, but you were happy to have this night with him.

-

You unwrapped your taco on your lap. “I’m not gonna tell you you’re wrong for putting that much sour cream on your taco,” you said, kicking your feet out on the stone wall before you, “but you disgust me.”

The waves crashed along the shoreline in the distance, and the beach was dark and eerie. It didn’t matter that it was ten o’clock at night–– the nearby park was busy and loud.

“Oh, I forgot to ask,” said Luke, “is it okay if I put sour cream on my taco?”

You kicked his thigh as he broke out in hysterics, and you thought, this is it–– this is what I’ve been waiting for.

“If you get that shit on my jacket, I’ll kill you,” you responded, meanwhile taking an unattractive bite out of the hard shell of your taco. Shredded cheese fell to the ground below.

“Isn’t it technically my jacket?”

You shrugged “Maybe if you had actually bothered keeping it.”

Luke let out a small gasp, and a large dollop of sour cream plopped against the wrapping on his lap. “Maybe if you were smart enough, you’d realize I let you keep it.”

“Oh, shit. That stings.”

“Good.”

“Fuck you,” you said with a laugh. “I deserved to keep it. I was the one who added all of those patches anyway.”

Luke furrowed his brows. “Not true. I added––“ He twisted around and pointed at a small bunny patch on the shoulder. “––this one.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you said, sarcasm dripping from your tongue. “You deserve more credit for the tiny bunny patch you found on the side of the road.”

“Thank you.” Luke sighed and grinned, sending a wink your way before biting into his sour cream-coated taco.

You watched the hard-shell crack and fall apart beneath his grip, and you watched as he pouted once the food hit his lap. You stared for too long, burning the image of him in your brain until you were confident it was permanently in there. It burned a little too hot and for a little too long. It continued to burn along the highway while the waves stirred beside you. You were nestled between the hills and the ocean, a cute boy to your left and a strip of heaven laid down before you.

Luke drove for an hour, taking exit after exit until he pulled off near the mouth of a lake in the mountains. The air was stale yet breezy, and exhaustion overwhelmed you. But you kept your eyes from drooping just so you could keep looking at the person you hadn’t realized you missed.

“Come home soon,” you whispered into the dark night. Bugs and other creatures hummed in the distance, meanwhile, you kicked up the crumbled pavement and leaned back against his car. “It hasn’t been home without you.”

Luke let out a quiet laugh, but it was muffled between his lips. “Gonna get all sappy on me now, huh, babe?” he asked, but his smile soon fell when his head turned to face you. He swallowed and faced the stagnant water ahead. “I wanna come home,” he said, “but I feel like I don’t belong there anymore.”

“You’ve always belonged.”

Luke didn’t speak.

“I don’t belong here,” you said, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. You had expected an outrageous reaction, something that assured you that he thought you did belong. But he stayed quiet. “This whole city, this place, it’s–– I mean it’s wonderful. I love it. But it’s not me.”

“It’s weird to have you here,” said Luke. His voice had lowered into a faint hush, yet you felt it in your bones. “Not bad weird. You’re just home. You feel like home. I’m not used to that here.”

“You’re home,” you mumbled.

Luke didn’t waste another moment. He pulled you into a hug, one that reminded you of teenage years and restless late nights. It reminded you of a warmth you lost, of strong arms that hadn’t held you in seven years. His chest expanded with each breath, and you listened closely to the air as it left his lips. And then you couldn’t help but dig your fingers into the rough denim along his back. You couldn’t help but press yourself against his chest in order to feel his heartbeat in sync with yours. You ached to embrace his scent–– you ached to embrace everything about him.

There was something in the air as you pulled away, something thicker than the hint of humidity. Whatever it was, you had trouble letting go of Luke. It felt like you had stood there for ages, just staring at his chest and holding onto his waist as if your life depended on it. You felt like crying, and you felt nervous. Something about his presence made you nervous.

When you looked up, Luke had already been looking down at you. A small smile was playing on his lips, and you could hardly see the twinkle in his eye through the dark night. But you weren’t focusing on his eyes. You focused in on that smile, the one that stretched his smooth, pink lips just slightly. The one that kindled some spark in your chest, and you couldn’t look away.

Luke placed a hand on your jaw, his long, slim fingers cradling you in a soft manner. “You okay?” he asked breathily.

You replayed his words in your head and thought about the ways his lips moved around them. No, you weren’t okay. But you didn’t mind the feeling.

“Yeah,” you whispered. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears. At the same time, it felt like you couldn’t breathe. The desire to kiss him was overwhelming, and it ached and ached. You tightened your grip on his waist, eyes flickering back up to where his lips had pulled into a concerned pout.

Luke let out a breath and tugged his bottom lip between his teeth. His fingers were firm on the back of your head, and then he pulled you in. His lips were on yours, hard yet passion-filled, and neither of you could move. But when he ran out of air, Luke pulled away slowly. His top lip brushed yours as he moved, yet the pressure never left. It still felt like he was kissing you.

Luke had kissed you. And you hadn’t wanted him to stop.

You smiled, fingers toying with the opening of his jean jacket as you glanced down at your shoes. “That was new,” you said lowly.

He laughed, meanwhile running his thumb along the apple of your cheek. It made you feel safe. “Sure was,” he mumbled. “Not bad, though.”

“No,” you replied, looking up. His gaze was intense, but it was the kind of intensity that summoned butterflies. You shrugged. “Not bad at all.”

“Good,” said Luke. “Cos I was plannin’ on kissing you again, but I wasn’t sure if we were on the same page, or––“

You tugged him in and leaned forward to press your lips on his again. You felt him smile against the kiss, and you had to smile, too. Luke’s opposite hand met your other cheek as the kiss deepened. You didn’t mind it–– you had no reason to mind it. In fact, you loved it. You craved it. It was warm and soft, and it made your toes curl. His lips felt like velvet. The heat crawled up into your chest, but the kiss soon ended before the moment carried on.

You felt lighter than air. Small puffs of air escaped your lips while you tried to laugh. And Luke was laughing, too. You were each other’s best friend, and you had kissed.

“Wanna keep driving?” Luke asked you, tracing your bottom lip with the pad of his thumb.

You grinned and nodded before pecking his lips. And then you skipped over to the passenger seat to once again fill the night with new memories to be made.

-

Luke grabbed your hand and laced your fingers with his while The Summer Set continued to blast throughout his car. It felt good to touch you, to finally feel you after all of these years. For some reason, he craved your touch even more now. It had only been a week, yet Luke quickly realized the effect you had on him. It had never been like this before, and he was relieved to know you felt the same way, too. He couldn’t get enough of you.

He wanted every piece of you.

“Should we head back home?” you asked at around two in the morning, lips red from the 7-Eleven slushie you were slurping.

Luke smiled at your appearance. His heart swelled at the sight of you so comfortable in his company. It made him want to hold you and never let go. “You gettin’ tired, babe?”

You giggled. “Never said that.”

Luke’s face physically ached from the weight of his grin.

“I like it when you call me that,” you said.

“Hm?”

“When you call me ‘babe’,” you spoke. “I like it.”

Luke felt a chill rush over him. He wanted to call you “babe” every single fucking day–– he never wanted to stop. “Yeah, babe?”

You hummed.

Luke’s hand instinctively reached out to place itself on your thigh, and he froze. But you didn’t react. When he looked over, your smile hadn’t left.

“Is this okay?” he asked you, fingers burning and shifting against your leggings. His eyes left the road for a split second to watch you nod. Luke smiled again and squeezed your thigh, emitting a quick squeal from you. The sound was music to his ears, and he couldn’t believe how fast he had fallen for everything about you.

The silence that fell over was comfortable.

“Is this what Brian felt like when he wrote Passenger Seat?” you asked after a while.

Luke glanced at you, smile still wide as he slowly replied, “it’s exactly what he felt.”

He took you down to a small beach off of the beaten path after that. The waves were loud, almost violent as he kept his hand firmly locked with yours. The breeze had picked up, but he could still hear your teeth chattering through the gusts.

“Gosh, sure is nice to have a jacket to keep me warm right now,” said Luke while he set himself down into the sand.

“Sh-shut the fuck up,” you muttered, plopping right beside him. “You’re such a fucking j-jackass.”

Luke laughed and took off his jacket, nevertheless. You pulled it over you before falling against him, head nestling onto his shoulder as you brought your knees up for warmth.

“It’s so dark,” you said a few moments later. “Did you come here to murder me?”

“How’d you know?” gasped Luke.

You shoved him away, he only tugged you in closer. You set your head on his lap, and the two of you sat there for thirty minutes in complete silence. He hadn’t wanted to stay quiet–– he had so many things bouncing about in his brain, but he couldn’t find it in himself to say a single word. He couldn’t tell you that this week had been the best week of his entire life, and he couldn’t beg you to stay. He couldn’t keep you in a city you hated to be in.

It had hurt to hear you say that, but he didn’t disagree. Los Angeles didn’t fit you; it never would, no matter how much he wanted you to stay with him. You belonged in comforting towns, ones filled with life and love but held hopes and dreams high. You belonged with him, yet he wasn’t sure where he belonged either. It was too painful to think about.

So, Luke kissed your forehead and ran his fingers along your arm. If he could hold you forever, then he wouldn’t have to think about anything else. He wouldn’t have to think about saying goodbye to you within the next week. He wouldn’t have to think about losing all of the built-up feelings that had surfaced within the past few days. He wouldn’t have to think about losing you.

You were curled up in the passenger seat of his car on the ride home. Your eyes had succumbed to exhaustion at the beach, and he carried you all the way back without stirring you awake. It filled his heart with so much love to see you so calm and peaceful–– he wanted to take you home and hold you for the rest of his life. But he couldn’t do that. He buckled you in, kissed your forehead once more, and then drove home in silence. It left him alone with his thoughts, and he didn’t like that.

“Lu?” Your eyes fluttered open as he unbuckled you and prepared to take you into his home.

“Mornin’, darling,” he said, cracking a smile.

You hummed. “You don’t have t’carry me,” you said, “but thank you.” You rubbed at your tired eyes, and he grabbed your hands to help lift you out of the car. You fell against him and pulled him into a tight hug.

He chuckled, but he didn’t say anything. He just held you close.

“I’ve missed you so much,” you mumbled into his shirt. You leaned back to look up at him.

Luke smiled, and he felt like the luckiest man in the world. He kissed you softly before pulling you back into a hug. “I’ve missed you, too.”

-

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

On my way home.

Still okay with going to the party?

You:

ya i wanna black out and vomit in a pool

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

Please do not do that.

You:

don’t poop on my party

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

It’s technically not your party

You:

party pooper

stinky pooper

ur stinky

lukey “red lobster isn’t that bad” hemmings:

You’re stinky.

You:

yes

-

The next day was weird.

It felt like the night prior had been some drug-induced dream filled with romcom storylines inside a coming-of-age film. It was an old memory resurfaced–– a moment you had shared with him many years prior. Things changed so suddenly.

And neither of you spoke of it. You didn’t know how to. At the same time, you weren’t sure you wanted to.

It had been beautiful in the moment, but thinking back, you weren’t sure it had been a good idea. Luke was Luke, a famous rock star living among the elites in Lost Angeles, and you were a shell of a best friend, old remnants of a life he used to live. You weren’t the one for him, and you never had been. He had too many choices before him; he wouldn’t choose his best friend.

A friend was hosting a birthday party, one you assumed would involve a cake and stupid decorations, perhaps presents as well. But the house was packed upon arrival, and it felt more like a frat party than anything. You wished you had known, yet you fisted the skirt of your black dress and ambled in behind Luke, feeling more like a lost puppy than ever.

Because he had always been a people person. He had always loved people.

You lost him at some point in the night. You scoured the premises, searching for his bright red button-down amongst the sea of illustrious eyes. And then there was you, looking sad and somewhat angry while you searched for your best friend. He had done this only a week ago. He had left you to fend for yourself against a pack of B-list wolves. You hardly felt human in comparison.

Sweat had accumulated against your back while you wandered the crowded rooms. You admired the architecture through a Mike’s Hard haze, wishing you had left town when Luke did to maybe make a name for yourself in and amongst the wealthy. The guilt would have eaten you alive; it would have been all at Luke’s expense.

You found him in the kitchen at one point during the night. He stood there with his friends crowded around, a dazzling yet drunken smile etched on his features, and it seemed as though his eyes alone lit the whole room. The knot building in your stomach was uncomfortable. His laugh echoed, and you had to excuse yourself before he could glance your way.

So, you wandered again and retraced your steps, wondering if you would ever know your place in a world this big. It felt like you never would.

You hadn’t gotten black-out drunk, nor did you vomit in a stranger’s pool. Instead, you sat by that pool with your feet plunged into the illuminated water, fingers still cradling the neck of your lemonade while you listened to strangers talk. The bright blue below made you feel sick, so you stared up at the light-polluted sky and hoped for the night to be over soon.

And then there was a tap on your shoulder.

“Jesus Christ–– thought I lost ya for good,” said Luke, voice hoarse and slurred while he slumped down onto the brick beside you. He stuck his feet in the water without rolling up his pants.

“Nope,” you mumbled. “Been here.”

Luke was smiley, and the freckles on his nose seemed more prominent under the teal hue from the pool.

“Where’d you go?” you asked him, yet your heart ached at the thought of him leaving you the way he did. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Uh, y’know.” Luke shrugged. “This, there, n’ that.”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t know.”

“I’ve been looking for you,” said Luke, fingers running along the surface of the water before gently splashing your knees. “Wanted t’show my girl around. People kept asking ‘bout you.”

“Your–– your girl?” The words rattled around in your brain, but at the moment, they didn’t settle quite right. They would have sounded wonderful the night prior. But you weren’t property. You weren’t his girl.

Luke glanced at you, eyes shiny and dark, and his lips tugged into a lazy smile. He smelled of whiskey sour and bourbon, a combination that made your stomach churn. You admitted his proximity intimidated you, and you admitted that you wanted nothing more than to go back to last night.

Suddenly, Luke was leaning in to kiss you, and all you could do was push him back. It had been sloppy and wet. It had been wrong.

You couldn’t speak.

“Sorry?” he asked. His eyebrows scrunched together.

You stood quickly, reaching down to fix your dress before you walked off. Luke was hot on your tail.

“I thought you were cool with that!” he exclaimed as he stomped through the grass behind you. A few strangers turned their heads, so you faced him and kept him close. “Did last night mean anything to you?”

“Yes,” you said flatly. “Last night meant everything to me. But last night means nothing now. It has to mean nothing now.”

Luke laughed and ran his fingers through his hair. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Us, Luke,” you said, holding out your arms. “We’ve been best friends for like, ten years, and suddenly that changes in one night. Maybe if we were on similar paths, it would actually work. But it doesn’t work, Luke. It just doesn’t. Not for us.”

His face relaxed, and his lips pulled into a frown. “Not for us?” he whispered. “What does that even mean?”

“It means that you’re you,” you said, “and I’m me. We live on two different parts of the world, and we still don’t know where we belong. It’s not the right time–– if there’s even a right time at all.” You hugged your bare arms as a light breeze blew over.

“Who fucking cares?”

“I care,” you replied.

Luke let out an exasperated sigh. “Fucking hell,” he mumbled, laughing lightly. “Why do you have t’care? Just say fuck it. Do what you fuckin’ want.”

“No, Luke, I can’t just do that––“

“God, you’re being so annoying.”

You blinked. “I’m–– what?”

Luke blanched and swallowed. “Nothing.”

“I’m being so annoying?” you asked with a smirk. “Oh, wow. Okay. Sorry. I guess I’ll stop being so annoying then.”

“No,” said Luke. “I didn’t mean that.”

“You can’t take it back.”

“Please.” His eyes widened, and his sincerity radiated off of him. “I didn’t––“

“What did you mean?”

“What?”

You sighed. Your stomach hurt, and you wanted to just go home. “If you didn’t mean it, then what did you mean?”

Luke shrugged. “Just think you’re being kinda unreasonable.”

“What?” you questioned. “Because I don’t like it here?”

“Because you’re not open to trying!” yelled Luke.

His raised voice made your heart stop. It made every built-up emotion ache to release in an instant. But you wouldn’t let yourself cry. “I want to try,” you said weakly. “I wanna try so badly. But I wanna be happy, Lu.”

He folded his arms over his chest.

“I’m happy with you,” you continued. “But I’m not gonna be happy here. As much as I like being with you, it’s not gonna cancel any of that out.”

Luke didn’t reply. He stared at you, eyes glazed and emotionless.

“I’m gonna go home,” you said.

“Okay.”

You nodded. “I mean, home home.”

Luke’s eyes filled with another unreadable emotion. “Why?”

You sighed again, but this time, you felt annoyed as well. You felt like every feeling from the night prior had dripped from your shoulders. You felt like it had all gone down the drain. “I don’t belong here,” you said.

“Yes, you fucking do!”

“I’m going home,” you repeated, this time harsher as your eyes brimmed with tears.

Luke’s composure fell. There was silence for a moment, and then he nodded. He nodded twice. “Okay,” he mumbled. “Okay.”

-

Luke had been peeling the skin from around his nails.

The two days following the party had been spent in heavy tension. It took every ounce of him to not bring it up–– he wanted to talk about everything he had said, yet the more time that passed, the more he forgot. But he remembered every change in your expression, and his stomach churned at the thought of him upsetting you the way he did. He wanted to take it all back.

You didn’t mention it either. You packed up your belongings quietly, and he didn’t bother you. He didn’t bother exhausting you over words that meant little in the grand scheme of things. Because as much as he wanted you to stay, he knew that you had no choice. In a perfect world, he could drop everything for you. In a perfect world, he could settle down and be with you for the rest of his life. Nobody made decisions in the span of a week, but he wished he could.

He saw you. He didn’t want to see anyone else.

Luke drank his coffee cold on your last day. It stained his white shirt, yet he kept his feet planted against the tiles in his kitchen. He didn’t go change because you were back in the guest room, and he knew that his chest would hurt the sight of you. He knew he would try to say things to make you stay. He knew that they would fail.

He heard the wheels of your suitcase before he saw you. And then you were there, jean jacket draped over your arm while you waited for him to speak up. Luke didn’t know how to talk anymore. He only felt dejection.

“My flight leaves in four hours,” you said, grip tightening around the handle of your suitcase.

Luke nodded. He wanted to believe you were sad, too. He wanted to believe you still thought about that night only days ago.

“I can call a cab,” you continued with a shrug. A light-hearted shrug that felt out-of-place.

He shook his head. “I’ll take you,” he said, but his voice was weak.

“Okay.”

And the familiar silence clicked back into place. It wasn’t supposed to feel like this. It hadn’t felt like this before. Leaving you at sixteen was full of smiles and “see-you-soon”’s. But with you leaving now, it felt like you were leaving for good.

Luke nodded again. “Okay.”

The ride to the airport was quiet. It was a sickening quiet, one that brought on the urge to cry and scream. He wanted to yell at himself for being so fucking ridiculous. His fingers tensed against the steering wheel.

When Luke parked the car, the words “I’m sorry” tumbled from his lips.

You glanced over. “What for?”

A part of him wanted to laugh. You knew the exact reasons why he felt sorry.

But he just shrugged. “For throwing you into my life,” he said. “It was selfish of me. I didn’t think about how it would make you feel.”

“You didn’t mean it like that,” you replied. “I know you didn’t. You were just showing me your life.”

“But it was too much.”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

You gave Luke a small, sad smile before reaching over and grabbing his hand. You intertwined your fingers with his.

“If it’s okay,” you said, “I’d still like to be a part of your life.”

Luke smiled, too. “Yeah,” he breathed out. “It’s always okay.”

-

You felt sick.

You held Luke’s hand on your way into the airport, and you dreaded letting go. You dreaded the idea of possibly never feeling his touch again. You weren’t saying goodbye for good, but it felt like you were.

“Here’s where I leave you,” he mumbled, voice breaking at the last few words, and his grip on your hand loosened.

You refused to let him go. When you turned around, Luke’s façade had chipped. His eyes welled with tears, and soon enough, yours had, too. You pushed yourself against him in a tight embrace, arms meeting around his neck while his wrapped around your waist. The tears slipped down your cheeks before you could stop them.

You wondered why it was so hard. You wondered why it hurt so much.

You held him for as long as you could before losing your balance. Yet, when you pulled away, you didn’t let go of him. You stood on your toes to brush your nose against his.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, clutching the collar of his shirt as you pressed your lips to his through tear slicked cheeks.

Luke held you closer, and this time, he didn’t let you pull away. His lips were warm and wet, but it was perfect. Everything about him was perfect. It hurt so much. You wanted to kiss him forever.

When all air ceased, Luke rested his forehead against yours, and you could feel his own tears falling against your skin. His breath was hot on your lips. And then you pulled him in again, teeth clashing in a hard yet heartbreaking kiss. You didn’t care–– you just needed to feel his lips again.

“Don’t leave,” he mumbled.

Your arms weakened around his shoulders, hands soon resting on his chest as you began to move away. It hurt to smile, but you did it anyway. “Gonna miss you, Squid,” you said, and your eyes watered once more.

Luke sniffed, and as your hand cupped his cheek, he leaned into you. He let out a breath. “Gonna miss you, too,” he said.

Your hand fell back to your side. “Well,” you said, swallowing down the tears that threatened to spill. You shot him another smile. “I’ll let you know when I land.”

He nodded. “Yeah, um––“ He scratched the back of his head. “Thank you.”

So, you nodded, too. “See you soon, String Bean.”

And finally, Luke smiled, too.

You gathered your belongings and slowly made your way to the security line, stomach twisting as your thoughts invaded. You couldn’t shake the negative feelings away. Every glance over your shoulder reminded you that you didn’t want to say goodbye. Every step felt erroneous. You looked back at Luke.

He waved at you, and your chest caved in.

It was wrong. Everything was wrong.

Your eyes scanned the line and the many travelers waiting with their tickets in hand. You looked at the agents who seemed less than pleased to be there that day. And finally, you locked your gaze back on Luke again, and your heart tugged.

It was wrong.

So, you left the line and walked back over to him, and he watched you the entire time.

“I’m sure there’s a later flight,” you sputtered out, heart pounding in your chest while a grin spread on his cheeks. You smiled in return.

“Yeah,” he said, laughing. “I’m sure there is.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck again and kissed him until your head spun. It finally felt so right.

[maddie-grove]

My Top Ten Georgian (Ish) Romance Novels

Notes: I’m doing a top ten instead of a top five for Georgian, Regency, and Victorian romance novels, because I’ve just read way too many good ones to stop at five! Also, I’m using Georgian to mean the years from 1714 (when George I became King of Great Britain and Ireland) to 1803 (when the Napoleonic Wars started). Once a romance novel’s set in 1803 or 1804, it starts to feel less like “French Revolution hangover” and more like “it’s almost the Regency.” 

1. The Leopard Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt (2007)

Exact Setting: 1760s England.

Premise: Independently wealthy Lady Georgina Maitland doesn’t care to marry, instead preferring to collect fairy tales and look after her rural estate with the help of her steward, Harry Pye. Yet she feels drawn to Harry, who is quiet and gentle and very good at carving small animal figurines out of wood. Their budding romance is threatened, though, by the growing hostility of their community, Harry’s complicated family secrets, and, yes, a series of sinister sheep-murders.

Why I Like It: Sometimes, the sexiest thing a man can do is make an exquisite little wooden hedgehog with his own two hands. Harry is a wonderful hero, kind and unassuming and ready to throw down the second some evil nobleman threatens the poacher’s son. I am also very fond of Georgina, an absent-minded folklore aficionado after my own heart. The rural setting is delightfully spooky, and the plot pulls together a lot of moving parts in a very effective way.

Favorite Scene: Harry and Georgina are reunited after he’s kidnapped and nearly murdered by said evil nobleman.

2. To Seduce a Sinner by Elizabeth Hoyt (2008)

Exact Setting: 1760s England.

Premise: When Jasper Renshaw, Lord Vale, is jilted for the second time in one year, unassuming Melisande Fleming offers herself as a substitute bride. Although Jasper seems like an ordinary and rather dry man, Melisande has secretly loved him ever since she saw his extraordinary kindness in a private moment. Jasper accepts because it’s convenient, only to be pleasantly surprised by their chemistry. Their marriage is going well...except that his horrible experiences during the Seven Years’ War are coming back to haunt him, both psychologically and in the sense that somebody is trying to murder them.

Why I Like It: Jasper’s combination of dry humor and hidden tenderness is pretty irresistible, while Melisandre’s gradual overcoming of her near-pathological reserve and self-denial is very moving. The suspense plot is exciting and carries unexpected emotional weight, plus there’s a nice side-romance between Jasper’s tough valet and Melisande’s enterprising lady’s maid. Finally, the sex scenes are super-hot.

Favorite Scene: Melisande flashes back to the moment she fell in love with Jasper.

3. An Unlikely Countess by Jo Beverley (2011)

Exact Setting: 1760s England.

Premise: After doing a good turn for genteel but desperately poor Prudence Youlgrave, directionless Catesby “Cate” Burgoyne thinks he’ll never see her again. Then he inherits an earldom from his estranged older brother. Not eager to return to his difficult family, Cate stops by Prudence’s village on the way home, hoping to check on the stranger he so fondly remembers. When he finds that she’s on the verge of marrying a lecherous old man at her shitty brother’s insistence, he impulsively offers to marry her instead...forgetting to mention that he’s no longer a cash-strapped second son. Prudence is prepared to deal with financial woes, but is she ready to handle the duties of a countess, a semi-dysfunctional aristocratic family, and murder?

Why I Like It: It should be clear by now that I’m a sucker for stories about creepy English country houses, and this novel certainly delivers. Beverley also takes a great deal of care in establishing the personalities of Prudence and Cate outside of their relationship, making the romance between them especially potent. Their consideration for each other makes me like them a lot, and it’s also weirdly sexy.

Favorite Scene: Cate and Prudence have a quiet moment together after he saves her from ruffians.

4. Thief of Shadows by Elizabeth Hoyt (2012)

Exact Setting: 1730s England.

Premise: Widowed Isabel, Lady Beckinhall, may be jaded and a touch hedonistic, but she’s also very interested in the welfare of the St. Giles Home for Unfortunate Infants and Foundling Children. In order to do this, she’s willing to teach Winter Makepeace, the middle-class proprietor, some social graces so he can help with fundraising. Winter disagrees that he needs to develop his networking skills, plus he has other reasons for wanting to keep this improper yet intriguing lady at bay...reasons that may or may not involve a secret crime-fighting identity!

Why I Like It: The contrast between Isabel’s insouciance and Winter’s severity is a lot of fun; it’s not uncommon for a rakish hero to be paired with a buttoned-up heroine, yet the reverse is rare. He’s more softhearted and she’s more interested in being a good person than their exteriors would suggest, but those exteriors add a little spice. This novel is also one of the best adventure stories in the genre, with plenty of skulduggery and derring-do to go around. 

Favorite Scene: Isabel discovers Winter’s secret identity (it’s sexy).

5. A Scandalous Countess by Jo Beverley (2012)

Exact Setting: 1760s England.

Premise: Georgia, Lady Maybury, used to be the darling of society...until her young husband died in a duel and rumors spread that she put his opponent up to it because she wanted to be with him instead. Now she’s out of mourning and trying to start anew, but someone has resurrected the old rumors. Prickly Humphrey, Lord Dracy, is willing to stand by her side, but could he have ulterior motives?

Why I Like It: Although I like the romance, the main appeal of this book is that it’s top-drawer melodrama starring a complex, charismatic heroine. There is no shortage of deliciously lurid nonsense, and Beverley builds a wonderfully constructed plot around it. I just luxuriated in the drama of it all the first time I read it. In addition, Georgia’s anguish over the loss of her husband (who was more of a best friend than a lover but still extremely important to her) and loneliness when she’s left behind by her friends gives the book a strong emotional core beneath the pulp. She also matures without having to flagellate herself for being high-spirited or making minor mistakes.

Favorite Scene: Georgia and Dracy try to solve her husband’s murder and deal with additional drama at a masquerade ball.

6. Heartless by Mary Balogh (1995)

Exact Setting: 1750s England.

Premise: Lucas Kendrick returns to London after years of exile to take over the dukedom he inherited from his estranged brother. He’s also looking for a bride and, instead of doing the expected thing and marrying beautiful debutante Lady Agnes Marlowe, he chooses her older sister Anna, who sacrificed her early youth to keep her family together through tough times. Charmed by Anna’s sweetness and maturity, he believes that this convenient marriage may turn out to be a love match as well. Unfortunately, Anna is being stalked by a traumatic past, both metaphorically and literally, that sows mistrusts between them and also puts them in physical danger. Plus, Lucas’s family relationships have to be sorted out and Anna’s deaf teenage sister needs to learn sign language! There’s a lot going on.

Why I Like It: In theory, I should dislike this romance. If Lucas had used a shred of understanding in the first act of the novel, he would’ve picked up on Anna’s traumatic past early on, saving them both a lot of heartache and enabling them to stop her stalker at least one hundred pages sooner. I think it works here because (a) Lucas’s negative reaction to Anna’s suspicious behavior is pretty measured (he withdraws emotionally and makes some stupid assumptions, but he’s not ever really mad at her and he still wants to make the marriage of convenience work) and (b) both characters are set up in such a way that you get why it takes so long for them to communicate (his default mode is to keep to himself, while she’s understandably reticent to talk about the horrible stuff she’s been through and stung by Lucas’s assumptions). Instead of frustrating the reader, Balogh wrings maximum angst from the set-up, making for great catharsis. 

Favorite Scene: As much as I love the angst, the unexpected initial romance of Anna and Lucas’s courtship was what truly reeled me in.

7. Duke of Desire by Elizabeth Hoyt (2017)

Exact Setting: 1740s England.

Premise: Proper widow Iris Daniels, Lady Jordan, is traveling home from a friend’s wedding when she’s waylaid by a secret society of evil aristocrats. Raphael de Chartres, the Duke of Dyemore, has infiltrated the society to bring it down, but he endangers his cover by rescuing Iris and throwing her in his carriage. Unfortunately, Iris thinks he’s just a regular evil aristocrat, so she shoots him, making it necessary for her to nurse him back to health at his secluded estate. She does a good job, but they still have to deal with the evil secret society and his all-consuming desire for revenge.

Why I Like It: Hoyt’s romances all have a fairy-tale feel, and she makes wonderful use of that atmosphere in Duke of Desire. Rafe lives in a dusty, disused castle, filled with old secrets and staffed by fiercely protective Corsican servants. Scarred and angry, Rafe has serious Beast-from-Beauty-and-the-Beast vibes, except he never kidnaps anyone and actually tries to deal with his serious mental health issues even before Iris brings a more sensible perspective into his life. I appreciated his family relationships, both with his sweet, disfigured maternal aunt and the monstrous father that he nevertheless loved.

Favorite Scene: I really like Rafe’s aunt, who could have easily been a Morality Pet but instead comes across as a capable, kindhearted woman who returns Rafe’s uncharacteristically gentle concern for her welfare.

8. The Pursuit of ... by Courtney Milan (2017)

Exact Setting: 1780s America (on a road trip from Virginia to Maine) and England.

Premise: John Hunter, a black Patriot soldier in the American Revolutionary War, finds himself fighting a white Redcoat who (a) won’t shut up and (b) outright asks John to kill him because he doesn’t want to go home. Instead, John gives the other soldier his jacket and tells him to start a new life in America. The last thing he expects is for the other soldier, Henry Latham, to show up at his camp post-battle and ask how he can repay John for saving his life. It turns out that John could use a companion on the long, perilous trip to his home in Maine, although he’s reluctant to trust a white dude who could choose to disregard his debt at any moment. As the trip progresses, however, they get to know each other and grow closer.

Why I Like It: When I read a Courtney Milan romance, I know that I’m not going to be bored. Her zippy dialogue, sense of humor, and use of interesting themes make even her weaker romances fun reads, and The Pursuit of ... is among her strongest. John and Henry are both engaging, sympathetic characters who interact with each other wonderfully; I especially enjoy how Henry’s incessant loopy patter bounces off of John’s deadpan remarks. The novella also balances its humor very well with serious discussions on what it means to live in a country whose reality falls so short of its ideals.

Favorite Scene: John’s reaction to hearing why Henry’s dad made him join the military.

9. Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt (2016)

Exact Setting: 1740s England.

Premise: Valentine Napier, the Duke of Montgomery, is a very bad man who goes around blackmailing and kidnapping his fellow aristocrats willy-nilly. Bridget Crumb, his housekeeper, is determined to stop him from blackmailing one lady in particular. They get along surprisingly well! Also, a bunch of crazy shit happens involving the evil society from Duke of Desire.

Why I Like It: I don’t know why, but Valentine Napier just cracks me up. He’s like a hotter, more sinister Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and I love him. He brags to Bridget about doing evil stuff that he doesn’t actually do, and then she goes behind his back and quietly undoes his latest scheme. Then he does something nice for her dog. Then he spouts a lot of flowery poetic nonsense (usually about how he has no heart and she’s a beautiful angel filled with integrity). Then they make out. It’s a beautiful, ridiculous relationship that’s propped up by a delightfully baroque novel.

Favorite Scene: Val sulks because his heartless self can’t relate to his beloved half-sister now that she’s happily married. EVIL.

10. Promised Land by Rose Lerner (2017)

Exact Setting: 1780s America (New York and Virginia).

Premise: Some time ago, Rachel Mendelson left her home and marriage in New York City to disguise herself as Ezra Jacobs and join the Patriot Army. Now she’s a corporal, and the Battle of Yorktown looms on the horizon. And who should show up but Nathan, the husband she loved but couldn’t live with, working as a Patriot spy? As the battle approaches, they struggle to work out the reasons why their first attempt at marriage failed, as well as their future as Jewish Americans.

Why I Like It: Lerner fits a lot of complexity into one novella without ever descending into inelegance. Without a single flashback, she communicates the entire history of Rachel and Nathan’s marriage, which was marked by affection and sexual attraction as well as painful class tensions and family dynamics. She tackles Nathan and Rachel’s differing approaches to their religion in an intelligent, nuanced way. Plus, the battlefield scenes wouldn’t be out of place in Hemingway--like, top-tier Hemingway, not the kind you make fun of.

Favorite Scene: The battlefield scenes, or Rachel’s description of her planned memoirs.

Further Notes: The Leopard Prince is #2 in the Prince Trilogy (which are only very loosely related). To Seduce a Sinner is #2 in the Four Soldiers series, and I would recommend reading the also-very-good To Taste Temptation first. Thief of Shadows, Duke of Sin, and Duke of Pleasure are #4, #10, and #12 in the Maiden Lane series, respectively, and that’s a series that I’d recommend reading in order, because I started with #2 instead of #1 and that alone was confusing. An Unlikely Countess and A Scandalous Countess are both spinoffs of Jo Beverley’s Malloren series, but I enjoyed them despite only reading one Malloren romance proper and one other spinoff. Heartless has a sequel, Silent Melody, which is also very good in a bonkers way. The Pursuit of ... and Promised Land are both part of the Hamilton’s Battalion anthology, plus The Pursuit of ... is technically part of Milan’s Worth Saga, although you don’t need to read any of them to understand it.

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 3

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 61: Writing this in the afternoon on day 62. An exercise driven day. Two walks and stair climb as usual plus I popped round Jeff’s early evening. First time I’ve been to his house, 1 Garden Row, Elmington. It’s further than I thought so, with walking there an back, I managed a daily total of 14km. It was good to see him and have a social (but social-distanced) beer. When I got home, @9:45pm, I made thai green chicken curry, watch The Report (a great, if worrying film) and then TikTok-ed until gone 5am!

Day 62: Typing this on day 64! Beer round Karen’s. Missed Sam’s quiz.

Day 63: Typing this on day 64! Beer round Karen’s. Again! Well, it is bank holiday Monday! Had dirty pizza for tea and watched The Heat. Again! It is the most piss funny film.

Day 64: Well, I have been feeling guilty about treatung the bank holiday w/e l;ike a bank holiday w/e. It’s dawned on me that that guilt is way too self-disiciplned. I got up about midday, usual two walks and stair climb but that’s it. I need to clean the house from top to bottom, get on top of my online courses, get the garden done, get the car fixed, go shopping…fucking hell - if only I had the time…

Day 65: Today I swapped Amazon prime free trial for about the 5th time in my life. Same card and address - will they get wind of my skullduggery. This is all so I can finish watching Hunters and catch Homecoming S2. I went shopping at Asda near Raunds. I wish I hadn’t, it’s no good for a comprehensive shop. Received an email from RCI inviting me to a Zoom meeting with Pal Mulcahy for a business update. I fear the worst. And it’s at 10:00am, FFS!

Day 66: Logged in an attended zoom forum with Paul Mulcahy and over 250 RCI staff this morning. The message was that there is going to be redundancies. I expected this and expected to fall victim. All staff that are going to be put through cionsultation would be contacted today. I however wasn’t! Very, very surpised. meanwhile, Nick Reilly asked to connect via LinkedIn (including become a LinkedIn staff team member -  that’s new to me so I’ll see what it is but I accepted the invitation) Later, I WhatsApp-ed him and asked who has been affected from IT. All he could tell me was no one on Jon Rodger’s team is under threat. Also, Mark C emailed - I’ll respond tomorrow. I got up at 09:00ish and had my mornming walk before the 10:00am meeting. I am now, at 09:30pm, fucking knackered. Dinner and then bed, methinks but not before one more episdoe of Hunters!

Day 67: Typing on Day 68. Got pretty drunk last night. I’ve got blisters from walking (new boots) so I don’t think I’ll walk tomorrow (well, today!).

Day 68: I did fuck all today. Got up after 1pm, no walking. I did manage to clean the bathroom (and smash my little mirror) and do my 26 stair climb. I am typing at 9pm and I feel whacked!

Day 69: I have an abscess. It’s not too painful (today) but I am going to call the dentist tomorrow (Monday). I think antibiotics are in order. I watched a film, which I actually started yesterday, called The Voices starring Ryan Reynolds, Gemma Arteton and Anna Kendrick. Fuuuuuuuuuuuucking weird. The closing credits are the most bizarre, in context, I’ve ever seen. But, in general, a very good film. Back to normal exercise regime today plus hovered the hall and stairs. Get me. It’ll be interetingh to see my Google Fit figures for May tomorrow.

Day 70: Contacted the dentist who advised salt water rinsing and ibuprofen. But, tbf, it’s a lot better today and the swelling has gone right down. The dentist I called was the Oundle House (Rodericks) one. I was not hopeful since last time I saw them they referred me to their Northampton clinic for root canal work which was quoted at over £600. However, the dentist was very nice, had my x-ray to hand from that last visit and seemed more interested in making sure I’m OK than gaining a paying customer. He still wants to see me when possible though! I must mention the weather. It has been glorious weather nearly every day throughout May (it’s June 1st today). Seriously sunny and like a holiday every day. The news mentioned it today - the level of sunshine throughout the transition from spring to summer is unprecedented, apparently. My T shirt tan is, quite frankly, ridiculous!

Day 71: Today’s ‘must mention’ is what’s going on in the US and it’s not particularly related to Trump. There was a black man killed while under arrest. George Floyd died Monday 25th May (8 days ago) A policeman, who knelt on his neck for minutes while he complained of not being able to breathe, has been charged with murder. Now there are riots and curfews and military intervention all over the country. It’s similar to the English riots of 2011. It’s worrying, sad, scary and not what the fight against the pandemic needs. Most of all, it’s racism rearing its ugly head yet again. I’ve had a normal-ish day. received an email from Jim checking in, talked to a recruiter about a promising job lead (although the hours are 8-5 which I am not happy about), talked to Barry across the road and sent Barzzy a WhatsApp. And I logged in Shaw Academy and started lesson one of module 2 of web Design. It’s been a while, so long overdue, but I only did about 15 minutes. Must try harder / do better! As I type, late (10:10pm) I have dinner cooking and a strange pain in my left side and am in the middle of No Country for Old Men. Don’t think I’ve seen it since the cinema (13 years!)

Day 72: As soon as (well, within a couple of days) I mention the weather, it turns. It’s rained a little and is a lot cooler (15° rather than mid-20s). Much better for walking, I have to say. I finished Hunters today (Amazon Prime series). While I enjoyed it, it got too surreal at the end. It is loosely based on the real story of Nazi hunters in the US in 1977 but the straying from loosely based to down-right ridiculous fiction annoyed me. If it goes to S2, I will watch it, however. Received some of my rental deposit back today (the law changed so that only 5 weeks rent can be demanded as deposit). Over £600. Nice.

Day 73: I made a short video for Marc and Clare’s 26th wedding anniversary. I ‘dressed up’ for it. I enjoyed doing it and I think it was appreciated.

Day 74: Typing on Day 75 for no other reason than I couldn’t be bothered on day 74! I received a letter either today or the day before (well, yesterday or the previous day!) from Mr Minos at the eye clinic informing me that, while there is some stuff going on in both eyes (garnered from the photo scans done at the last hospital appointment), he wants to see me in three months. Always a refief when that happens. Been getting into two series on Amazon: Alex Rider and Modern Love. One is a male Hanna, the other is soppy affairs of the heart based on real life stories (from essays written in the NY Times). Both enjoyable for totally different reasons.

Day 75: Lazyish day. Well, not really, just that I only went for one walk, alebit 6km andI got pissed on. Wehn the rain hit, it was also fucking freezing! Some of the clouds were stunning today, made for great photos. As I type, it’s 21:12, I’m listening the wonderful Phoebe Bridgiers. Now, I’m gonna make some tea and sup a few ales, I reckon.

Day 76: Done lots of walking today (over 13,000 steps) I made sausage casserole with too much chilli (scotch bonnet and birdeye). I had an online (fb) debate with Sam over whether the George Floyd murder was a racial.

Day 77: Received a new (used) wing mirror for the car. £18 with delivery, I reckon that’s a bargain. I cashed in £20 from Prolific as well, so I’m satisfied at the financial full-circle. Dropped the car off at Barnwell (Nene Valley Body Shop) and walked back - 7km. Just about to dive into tea - finishing the blazing hot sausage casserole from yesterday. Then I’m going to do some more Rubik’s cube practice with my recently acquired GoCube.

Day 78: Lots of daily walking, 26 stair climb, press-up and late nights watching TikTok (gone 3am this morning) are making for a constantly knackered Tim Stubbs. Today I made veg soup and cooked up some meatballs. Both are delish. How did I ever to learn how to conjure up such stuff? The Rubik’s cube learning is coming along except that I need good daylight to distinguish between the yellow and white faces on the flipping thing!

Day 79: Listening to Radio 6 most the day and the news is making for dire listening. Forecast of severe recession, especially if there is a second peak of the virus, which I think there will be. Plus, an offshoot of the George Floyd murder and the #BlackLivesMatter movement, institutions and town councils are being lobbied by campaigners to remove statues of anyone associated with things like slavery (one was toppled in Bristol at the w/e) and rename buildings etc. that were named after historical characters with any links to something that now is deemed wrong or offensive. I agree with it but it’s not pleasant to hear amongst other bleak news. Walked to Barnwell to collect my car - front trim reseated and new wing mirror fitted, £20 - bargain (I source the replacement wing mirror). But, also, forked out £165 on car tax! Cleaned the lounge from top to bottom. Knackering!

Day 80: Chatted with Dad and Rita - he’s pissed off with the slavery backlash but otherwise they are both OK. I saw Baz in the Tesco queue where I mentioned my disgust at the Thursday market being allowed (I found I could not maintain 2m at all times just walking to Tesco’s!) and that I really don’t want to catch Covid19 as I will probably die. Maybe a bit dramatic but he messaged me later today to say he’d been thinking on what I said and offered to shop for me. I replied that I am OK to shop but am scared at how people are taking things so much less seriously than when lockdown started yet the virus is still out there just as it was then! I am very touched at his massage. I thoroughly cleaned the bedroom and changed the bedclothes today. House work really knackers me out!

Day 81: Spare room cleaned today. Not much else to type about. It’s Friday, I making curried mince and I don’t feel like a beer. How I’ve changed!

Day 82: I did have beers last night. Ended up going to bed with daylight and dawn chorus for company. Today, when I woke, gone 1pm, I have been greeted by what can only be described as thoroughly depressing news from every quarter. This includes violence in the capital, further virus outbreak in Beijing. Fog’s political posts on FB make for depressing (but vaild) reading. I’m feeling thoroughly fed up today. Not even music can lift my mood…

…but, I am currently listening to Craig Charles on BBCR6 and, I have to say, he’s putting in quite an exceptional effort - there may be hope that my mood might lift, even at gone 8pm! I might have a beer or two and grab something postivity and enjoyment from the day after all.

Day 83: Another late one last night but up before noon today. Started watching something called Condor on Sky One. It’s OK - there’s stuff I wanna waytch on Amazon Prime but, more often than not, it keeps telling me there’s ‘a problem’ when I try to play anything. Pissing me off. I just checked and I have two weeks of the initial 12 of furlough to go. I shall started asking the questions about what might happen on the Connections website.

Day 84: Typing this on Day 85. On the way back from dropping off some shoes for Sean Davies at his brother’s (martin) I met Karen and she said why not pop round for a beer so I did. Certainly not used to a drink on a Monday so that, and the genral upheaval to my evening, while good fun and a nice change, put pay to my usual diary entry! I sorted Amazon Prime out by leaving the TV turned off for over an hour. Day 85: Tim did the garden today and it looks great. The pipes in the bathroom have been knocking loudly, on and off, for a couple of weeks now. Last night, they were so loud that today I took it upon myself to resolve it or ring Woodfords. So, having turned off the water, run the taps dry to get rid of any trapped air and then turned the water back on slowly, I discoved it’s the cistern and its pipes. Woodfords are arranging Corvee to visit. Meanwhile, leaving the water turned off at least stops the noise which is, otherwise, costant and unbearable! I emailed HR a couple of days ago about what’s happening in a couple of weeks time in terms of furlough when the 12 weeks will be up. Sue Cockimngs got back to me attaching an email Deryn sent on 15th May which I never received. Basically, they’ll extend furlough if need be and an update should be forthcoming late May/early June. Well, that time has passed, so who knows what is going to happen. The furlough scheme (CJRS) has been changed by the govenment, I’ve read, and it looks like any new people would have to have been furloughed by June 10th (it’s the 16th today) so no furlough rotation, which is annoying. The CJRS ends 1st October with employer contributions required from 1st August - that’s D-Day as far as I am concerned….so job hunting will have to step up a notch! Day 86: Pete’s birthday and he bought himself the same speaker as me. When I asked if it lived up to his expectations he mentioned it’s better through WiFi than Bluetooth. That confused me as I haven’t got WiFi available on mine…..long story short, I bought the wrong fucking speaker. I got a AudioPro AddOn T10 instead of C10. To say I am fucked off is an understatement. To think I was so pleased at the cheap price I paid. Now I feel like I have wasted  €200. Bollocks.

Day 87: Finished Alex Rider last night. Another series that started off so well and ended a litte weak but, overall, not bad. I’ve started keeping strange meal times…lunch very late (4pm) and dinner really late (11pm). I need to sort it ‘cos it’s playing havoc with my sugar levels. I had a huge hypo while having my second walk today, second day on the trot that’s happened. My late dinner was Chinese chicked curry with a quarter of a scotch bonnet and two birdeye chillies. Delish.

Day 88: I have managed to be bitten yesterday or the day before on one of my walks. There are strange, itchy lumps on my right inner forearm. And I do mean itchy. I trimmed my sideburns today, I was very pissed off with them. My hair looks just a little less shit. I did a shop at Tesco in Corby today. Mainly booze as follows: 20 cans Sam Miguel £18 18 cans Stella £15 20 bottles Bud £10 8 cans Tyskie £9 3 lrg bottles Warsteiner £5 £57 Bargain.

Day 89: Lazy day. One short walk and usual stair climb. Howard and Sue popped round to give me a pressie - bottle of Monkey Shoulder. I’m building up quite a collection of whisky!

Day 90: Dad called and we chatted for an hour or so. I had to apologise for not sending a father’s day card! Dan messaged me and offered to pay for a pizza delivery which I declined.

Football has started again this past week…Prem and Championship only. L1 and L2 season was cut short and Posh missed out on the play-offs by one place. As I type, Everton v Liverpool is on Sky Sports on a Sunday evening - it’s very strange with no crowd. There’s crowd noise being played thorugh the tannoy.

[jmhalpert]

all the questions pls

ur my only fan

1. What’s the most depressing movie you’ve ever watched?

my sister’s keeper is an ugly crier.... and hachi

2. What’s the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched?

it was probably only disturbing because i was like 9 years old but the horror movie hide and seek had me shaking for months3. An actor/actress you’ve seen in more than 8 movies? Name the movies.

i’ve seen anna kendrick in all the twilights, pitch perfect 1 and 2, the last five years, and scott pilgrim4. A film you could watch on repeat for the rest of your life?

13 going on 30!5. What’s the very first film you remember watching?

hmm i remember watching bambi pretty early on6. A film you wish you hadn’t watched?

i’ve seen plenty of bad movies but i can’t think of any that were so terrible that i regret watching them to this day LOL7. A film you wish had a sequel?

that’s hard to say because i love standalone movies BUT a hannah montana movie 2 where she picks between jesse and travis? that would be classic8. Which book would you like to see adapted into a film?

just one day by gayle forman would be a great movie if done right! BUT i think people would get confused with all the “one day” movies that already exist9. The most aesthetically pleasing movie you’ve ever watched?

hmm i really enjoy the la la land aesthetic..... (don’t @ me but the earthy aesthetic of new moon? also iconic)10. What’s your favourite movie director?

i don’t think i have one! every director has their own epic highs and lows if u ask me11. Your favourite movie genre?

love a good drama12. A movie that holds a special place in your heart?

the polar express! because i watch it every christmas eve w my brother :’)13. Your favourite comedy film?

mean girls14. A music video you would love to see developed into a film?

almost anything from the tcu (taylor cinematic universe) but wildest dreams would be a fun one15. A film everyone loves but you hate?

i do not hate it . but i don’t get the hype around pulp fiction16. A film you love but everyone else hates?

*screams in twihard*17. Which cinematic universe would you like to live in?

princess diaries so i can snatch michael moscovitz 18. What’s your favourite biopic?

i don’t watch many biopics so it’s hard to say!19. Mainstream movies or indie movies?

i am far too basic to pretend i watch indie movies regularly20. Old movies or contemporary movies?

contemporary but i do love me some classics as well21. A film with an amazing soundtrack?

la la land is a comfort soundtrack for me but i also have multiple songs from the frozen movies stuck in my head at any given moment

[kris-alvarez]

jumping on the bandwagon b/c i just realized i never did this task! without further ado, MEET THE MUN (aka a human trash can)

BASICS

name/alias: val

timezone: pst

preferred pronouns: she/her or they/them

characters you play: kris alvarez, teagan taylor, kelsey woods, serena clark

FAVORITES

favorite color(s): light blue, emerald green, really any pastel color tbh

favorite animals(s): cats and dogs! i have 3 dogs and 3 cats. it’s a zoo.

favorite food(s): sushi, by far. i go to the sushi place so often that not only does the entire staff know me, but when i turned 21 and ordered alcohol they refused to believe i was 21 and they were all passing around my id b/c they couldn’t believe it.

favorite ice cream flavor(s): mint chocolate chip

favorite season: winter

favorite hobbies outside of rping: weed tbh (human trash can y’all!). i adore musical theatre with my whole heart.  i also play guitar and ukulele. i love going on feminist rants and collect vinyls.

favorite app/method of social media outside of tumblr: instagram

favorite faceclaims:  demi lovato, anna kendrick, gina rodriguez, halsey, melissa benoist, laura harrier, brie larson, alycia debnam-carey, katie mcgrath, lindsey morgan, paul wesley, hunter parrish, jack falahee, honestly i could go on for hours. i’ve played so many faceclaims. 

OTHER RANDOM QUESTIONS

zodiac sign: sagittarius

mbti: infp

hogwarts house: hufflepuff but i was originally sorted into slytherin. from ages 11 - 18 i hardcore identified w slytherin and i still go through days where i feel more slytherin. when i got sorted into hufflepuff and all of my family and friends agreed that was a better fit, i had a crisis looking around my room at all my slytherin merch. i take harry potter just as seriously as teagan does (which is to say, way too seriously). ask me about my hufflepuff tattoo.

moral alignment: i tied on lawful neutral and lawful good (personally, i think i’m more lawful good)

enneagram: i tied between type 4, the individualist, and type 6, the loyalist.

[tampon-on-the-sidewalk]

Kaden Watches the 2014 Grand Final

First off, I AM SO STINKIN HAPPY THAT IT ISN’T REGION BLOCKED I legit cried when I saw they uploaded it to the official youtube. This was the first show that I was able to watch live and be on Tumblr during, and it was such a fun, amazing time. I’ve been wanting to watch it in full again but couldn’t find it anywhere, and the DVD is extremely rare. 

All of my thoughts under the cut, enjoy as this American watches the grand final for the third time since it aired. Feel free to watch along! 

Ukraine: I still have this song on my Spotify playlist tbh it’s such a bop. I still love the hamster wheel as a prop and the vocals are pretty on point after the first verse.

Belarus: Hilariously enough I literally JUST listened to this in the car on my way home XD Another iconic song, honestly this whole year was pretty great. The background dancers are a mood. The vocals are pretty great, and it’s just such a silly and fun song. Plus I remember all the memes from this performance XD

Azerbaijan: I don’t remember this song?? But she has such a gorgeous voice omg. not to mention the TRAPEZE. Golly this is such a great performance. Also that dress is absolutely stunning

Iceland: Another absolute bop and meme song that I listened to for years after this. This is just. Such a fun song and the LOVE pose at the end always gets me  

Norway: Why does he look like Kobi Marimi. Okay but real talk it’s a pretty ballad, but that’s really it. Not something I should watch close to bed. But seriously he reminds me SO MUCH of Kobi and I have no clue why. Something in the eyes. 

Side note, I forgot how great the postcards were for this year.

Romania: I prefer Playing With Fire, but this was still very fun. Always a sucker for the 360 piano. 

Armenia: This song was so strange to me when I first heard it, and it still is now. There’s something charming about it though. A simple performance but still really captivating. 

Montenegro: Another song I don’t remember? Love the ice skating and the graphics on the floor. His voice is very rich and I always love when an artist sings in their native tongue.

Poland: I had to skip this one =w=‘’ I could barely stomach it when I first watched it. Too much fanservice and the song is awful. I’ve heard other songs by them and they are so much better.

Greece: This plays on Spotify every so often. I really like it, it’s definitely a great party tune and songs like something you’d hear at an American dance club. It’s definitely a lot of fun. Not to mention I love the raps =w= Also the trampoline is great =w= singing while on a trampoline is super not easy

Austria: MY HEART Okay Conchita stole my heart from the first time watching and I have both albums(PLEASE listen to the newest one). Absolutely stunning as always and just. U g h so many feelings. I’m just a puddle of tears again.

Germany: Another one that I still play all the time, I just love the traditional instruments in this. The vocals live aren’t the best, but seriously heroutfit is a look. Oddly enough something in her face reminds me of a good friend of mine. Honestly this performance really feels.. forced =w=‘ Love the song, not too much of a fan of the live. Also the accordion player lowkey looks like Anna Kendrick mixed with Lena. The ad libbing at the end really didn’t sit well to me.

Sweden: While this song did nothing for me when I first heard it, I revisited this performance a year later when I lived with my parents and became absolutely OBSESSED with this song. I still absolutely love it. listen to that CROWD. Great vocals.All the Sanna wigs in the crowd tho

France: Another fun song,  the one guy reminded me of Weerd Al upon first watching it but now? He actually low key reminds me of Michal Szpak. And Weird Al. This is so fun and in-your-face after Sanna’s performance.

Russia: I’m still so mad that they were booed because they did so well during this. I really loved the performance. I love the balance beam/seesaw as a prop, and the entwined ponytails. Still one of my favourite songs of the year. 

Italy: Ooh, this is a very fun performance? Not too much a fan of the vocals but the music is pretty great. Pretty great performance in terms of Energy. 

Slovenia: yet ANOTHER one of my favourite songs that I still listen to. I love this performance, she does such a great job live. Simple staging, but the lighting effects are great. I’ve listened to it so many times that I’ve choreographed a contemporary routine to it in my head, and I still see it during this XD. Seriously this is such a great performance, I hope this made the top ten.

Finland: I feel like this is a song I should have paid more attention to. I really like it and want to look into more by Softengine. I love the high notes, he does them so wel live and the band has so much energy. This is just. So great. This is definitely a song younger me should have gotten into but I think I’ve only listened to it like, Four times? Legit.

Spain: I don’t remember this song at all =w=‘ I like the rain effect. It’s a pretty song and she has very pretty vibrato and her power notes are incredible, but the song itself isn’t doing anything for me.

Switzerland: Oh my lovely Sebalter. Guess what, yet another song I still love and listen to regularly. I remember all the memes that generated from his performance, too. Did we ever find out if the whistling was live? I still love this performance either way. It’s a lot of fun. Most iconic violin next to Alexander Rybak. 

Hungary: I remember being so mad watching the Jury section live because I really did not like this song XD The shift from the verse to the chorus just didn’t work for me, felt very disconnected. Plus the song it just really darke? I’m seriously surprised this qualified. The dancing is really well done though. 

Malta: I remember everyone calling them Malta and Sons. Not particularly my cup of tea, but still a good performance regardless. I really love their voices. 

Denmark: The Bruno Mars comparisons were endless back in the day. This is still a super fun song and I still can’t BELIEVE the studio version was explicit. That one back up dancer is going so hard and I absolutely love it. The Love flag is so cheesy and perfect.

The Netherlands: so SLEEPY. Good performance sure but not when you’re watching right before bedtime. More good use of the floor screen. I’ve noticed there were a lot of instruments on stage this year? Something that didn’t click back in the day. Also is it bad that I lowkey find Waylon attractive

San Marino: Is it bad I forgot that Valentina did manage to qualify one year. All I can think with that prop is Peacock. Interesting song, I really like her vocals in this. She defo deserved to qualify this year.

United Kingdom: It’s funny that I remembered the name of the song and artist but couldn’t remember the song to save my life. Definitely one of the better UK acts of the decade. 

~I went to bed bc it was obvious I was getting too tired =w= ~

Graham’s “That’s me!’ got me =w= And all the streamers and such

Watching the recap as soon as I wake up and golly is it a wakeup call =w= Seriously the 2014 Grand was one of my favourites minus Poland =w=; 

Took the recap as time to see how many songs from this year I still actively listen to, and that would be 11/26. 

Momoland Interval Act: Okay the staging of this is incredible? I know they had harnesses on just in case but when they stood on top of the ladder my heart started palpatating

 12 Points Interval Act:  Okay this is fun =w= A lot of fun. I’m laughing so hard. 

Museum of Eurovision History clip: I REMEMBERED THIS SEGMENT AND I AM CRYING Those poor kids. Also completely unrelated, I had to carpool to a meeting with a co-worker and found out she was actually born and raised in Sweden and moved to the states when she was 11. She remembers dancing around her room to Diggaloo Diggeley. 

Green Room Interviews: Amazing that they brought all the foods from the contestants favourite places and the fakeout with France.

Emelie De Forest performance: I know people call this the second most overrated winner next to Euphoria but I really like the song still. A very nice performance and those branch wings are incredible. I also really like Rainmaker. I really like how they brought all the contestants on stage to sing and dance with her. 

~I’m gonna miss Jon Ola Sand ; ( 

Jury Votes: I cut in and out bc I have to do laundry but I still remember how excited I was when Conchita won. I forgot that they said the 8 and 10 points as well as their 12 points. I am so MAD that Russia got booed whenever they got the 10 or 12 points.  I also didn’t realize there were only 37 countries this time.

My thoughts on the Top Ten:  Y’all know I’m ecstatic that Austria won, I’m actually kinda surprised by the top ten? But this is just based on the Jury votes right? Either way I’m bitter that Slovenia did so poorly and surprised that Hungary did so well. I would have been content with Sanna winning but I am surprised that The Common Linnets did so well. CONCHITA’S REACTION TO WINNING BREAKS ME EVERY TIME 

All-in-all, this was a great year, and I am so veryvery happy that I was able to watch it again. Thanks for reading!

[giantchasm]

aguri for the character meme? and possibly also korosensei if you want to (you've successfully gotten me invested)

AGURI:

favorite thing about them: she is just genuinely so, so kind. she loves with all her heart, and while that can be destructive (i.e her putting others in front of herself at her own detriment), i really respect her optimism and big heart. she never gives up on herself or on anyone else, and that’s the sort of person i want to strive to be. least favorite thing about them: bold of u to assume she’s enough of a character in canon for her to actually have any flaws. uhhh i guess the aforementioned a little TOO selflessness. she needs to take better care of herself!favorite line: once again, bold of this ask meme to assume she appears for more than one episode. i really like the quote about who korosensei would have been born in a peaceful world, though. it’s stuck with me. it’s even part of the synopsis for my fic!brOTP: her sister, duh! OTP: korosensei, of course. to a lesser extent i also ship her with irina and karasuma. (poly teachers, anyone?)nOTP: anything with her and the kids. BLEH. and anything w her and yanagisawa. BLEH.random headcanon: she’s a bi icon and we’ve known this all along. unpopular opinion: she should have been the villain of the series and i stand by this. give me your manga, matsui.song i associate with them: these memes always underestimate me by saying “song.” i always associate like 800 songs with each and every character. some songs i associate with aguri are arms tonite by mother mother, get back up again by anna kendrick, i like giants by human petting zoo, cheer up by a great big world, and (JOKINGLY) eat a dick by bo burnham or self esteem by garfunkel and oates.favorite picture of them: one of these two (THE DUALITY OF AGURI…. ADORABLE VS…. YEAH.)

KOROSENSEI:

favorite thing about them: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WOULDN’T KNOW WHERE TO START. he’s goofy and he’s kind and he’s funny. but more than that he’s just a character who feels safe. similarly to aguri he genuinely believes in people (even if that’s more of a learned thing for him as opposed to aguri’s innate nature), and it makes me… very tender. he’s the sort of teacher i’ve always wanted, and one of my favorite fictional characters of all time because of that alone.least favorite thing about them: i’ve talked abt this in another ask meme before, but with how his cheery unfaltering nature works, how he tends to push issues (for example nagisa being abused) under the rug, and imply everything can be worked out with a pep talk or a heart to heart. as the adult figure in those kids lives, it should be his job to step in. that said, i think it comes more from ignorance than anything, and i don’t see him as having any ill will. he tries his best. (and what’s actually him brushing issues under the rug and matsui handling the issues clunkily is a pretty blurry line to begin with)favorite line: i could PROBABLY share one of his inspirational teaching quotes here, but lately my mind’s just been super occupied by that fucking bit during the island arc when he’s all like “UUUUU karma’s grown so much. i’m so proud of him. he’s truly learned how to respect his opponent. his future looks bright” then as karma immediately turns around and torments grip korosensei says point blank “nevermind. karma’s future scares me!” it’s! so! funny!brOTP: him and his students =u=OTP: koroagu, DUH. i also have a soft spot for him and karasuma and him and irina. like i said: poly teachers for life!nOTP: him and gakuho. him and y*nagisawa. him with any of the kids. random headcanon: for the first few weeks of school he hits his head on doorways. a LOT. he was like 5′2 as a human and now he’s like 10ft tall. he’s practically doubled in height. so he’ll just walk straight into doorways. it sounds surprisingly like a squeaky toy deflating.unpopular opinion: i don’t really know if i hold any unpopular opinions about this dude. i agree he didn’t deserve to die, and i agree he’s near-perfect. what else is there to sa- OH. I HAVE ONE. I THINK HIS HUMAN DESIGN IS MEDIOCRE LOOKING AND BLAND, AND THAT HE’S MUCH MORE INTERESTING (AND YES, MORE ATTRACTIVE, EVEN,) AS AN OCTOPUS MONSTER.song i associate with them: the stand by mother mother, monsters get slain by the ghost mice, temple grandin too by ajj, new soul by yael naim, and love like you from steven universe.favorite picture of them: its so hard to choose when he’s such a delight all around. 10/10. a true model.

[nako-doodles]

Rules: Tag 10 followers you want to get to know better.

I was tagged by the lovely @se0kjinie & @jins-kiss & @oxyjinetics thank my sweets 💘

Star sign: scorpio

Height: 172cm

Put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 4 songs:

utada hikaru - heart station

sam kim - sunny days, summer nights

wheein x jeff bernat x b.o - da ra da

hozier - arsonist’s lullaby

Grab the nearest book to you, turn to page 23, what is line 17?

“‘No one need wonder at the disorganization, at the fragmentary condition of everything, when we remember that man, who represents but half a complete being, with but half an idea on every subject, has undertaken the absolute control of all sublunary matters.’” 

- “The Destructive Male” 1869 Woman Suffrage Convention in Washington, DC. Address, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, The Greatest Works of Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Ever had a song or poem written about you?

recently my cousin has taken to annoying me by singing the various chinese new year songs but w my name replacing the lyrics

When was the last time you played air guitar?

listening to Raon Lee’s cover of Tokyo Ghoul:re’s OP trying to find motivation to hand in my last batch of job applications before the New Year Rush(tm) starts

Celebrity Crushes?

I mean putting aside my laundry list of j/kpop artists: gal gadot, anna kendrick, emma watson, emilia clarke, rihanna, jason mamoa, leslie cheung, sam smith, john legend, (recently) terry crews....

What’s a sound you hate? Love?

the squeaking of unoiled/not break padded breaks 

light rain falling on leaves or wind blowing through tall grass

Do you believe in ghosts?

not particularly, but I come from a superstitious (in other words: asian) family so im not going to pull off a dumb white girl stunt and tempting things out of my control

Do you believe in aliens?

I mean statistically speaking its kinda impossible for there not to be intelligent life out there you feel? but then im going to go off on a tangent over the Fermi paradox and no one really wants to hear me write a 10 page essay over the elegance of the Drake equation....

Do you drive? If so, have you crashed?

unfortunately I do have the ability to manipulate a medium-sized four wheeled vehicle yes.

luckily no, but ive had a few close calls merging into and off the freeways, and that one time I was driving down a hill in SF while it was pouring and felt the car slide down the hill with no way to stop my momentum. thankfully it was in the middle of the night and no police car in sight to catch me hydroplaning past the 4-way stop (but can you imagine me stuttering my way through my explanation after seeing my life flash before my eyes: but sir, I was even pulling on the emergency hand brakes, but I couldn’t stop sir, I was going slow sir but I was hydroplaning down a steep hill sir you know I can't stop earth’s 9.8m/s^2 gravity sir ill be careful in the future sir’)

Last book you read?

I finished the professor by charlotte bronte like a week ago, and I’m attempting to read through 孽海花 (a flower in a sea of sin) by jin tianhe and zeng pu. keyword being attempting bc the only version of the book I found is in traditional and trying to decipher the characters and late qing vernacular is lookey giving me a headache....but apparently none of the translations do it justice so I may just ask my dad to read it to me lmfAO.

Do you like the smell of gasoline?

gross no thats the fast track lane to get me car sick

Last movie you’ve seen?

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I think I mentioned how I almost tore a ligament in my elbow for being an extra lil shit at my last senior piano concert, and also almost taking off my thumb from being high as a kite post wisdom-teeth removal, so I guess ill say the third worst injury I’ve suffered (also from being an idiot -- its a trend around these parts) (warning: its a little graphic don't read if you don't like gore) is that one time I went skating with some friends and didn't tuck the tongue of my skaters properly against my shin.....so like...........the laces on my skates started sawing through my skin TLDR; LACE AND TIE YOUR SKATES PROPERLY FOLKS. THAT TONGUE IS THERE FOR A REASON!!

Do you have any obsessions right now?

watching youtube videos that analyze old masterpieces, like degas’s the little dancer of 14 years or velasquez’s las meninas; or picking apart films and their cinematography and plot structure etc. ive also been watching people mixing music based on a single parameter given to them by the comment section, or a random doodle based on a random scribble

Do you tend to hold grudges?

listen......I am already running on a deficit of spoons........I have better things to use them on than to hold grudges. like watching people remake kpop instrumentals! or reading akatsuki no yona!

In a relationship?

HA! thank u, next.

im tagging: @t0d-oder-freiheit @seokjinsult @taejintual @odeng1e @seokjiniesgf @kimseokjinniestan @jinergy @bangpdgf @jinbeann @yoooooongiis 

also: if anyone wants to do this pretend I tagged you 💘

[kitkat0117]

1, 18, 23, 30, 33-36, 41, 63, 64, 79, 80, 86, & 94

Unusual Asks

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify atm. Tried Pandora - too many ads for me.

favorite tv show? Of all time? Probably Gilmore Girls

describe your dream date: Having a nice dinner out somewhere and then coming home and watching a show we all love.

favorite actor? I don’t really have a fave based on their acting abilities

favorite actress? as a person - probably Anna Kendrick (the fact that she’s hot also helps)

who is your celebrity crush? Anna Kendrick, definitely

favorite movie? Pride & Prejudice (starring Colin Firth), Mary Poppins (w/ Julie Andrews), and Anne of Green Gables (w/ Megan Follows)

top 10 favorite songs - my music taste switches so much depending on my mood, I can’t pick just 10

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? Never tried the chicken nuggets from Wendy’s so I can’t give an honest opinion.

Favorite dipping sauce? That’s a tie between honey mustard, sweet & sour, & ranch

do you believe in ghosts? I’m still up in the air - depends mostly on if I’ve watched a scary movie recently or not.

what is your biggest pet peeve? Tie - between being interrupted while I’m talking (I tend to lose train of thought if that happens & therefore the conversation comes to a grinding halt) or someone leaving their backwash on the lip of a soda can (right around the rim)

what is your phone background? Lock screen is a pic of a bird I took sitting outside on the power line right by our house, Home screen is of me and my significant others

favorite lyrics right now - “And judgment taught us that our hearts were wrong, But they're the ones that we'll look down upon, The rules say our emotions don't comply, But we'll defy the rules until we die” - Sinners by Laura Aquilina*I think I got them all (if not let me know)

[huahsu]

YEAR OF WHAT HAPPENS ON EARTH STAYS ON EARTH

[longer version of what I contributed to the new yorker’s year-end package. you can read that here, and listen to the accompanying megamix the video team made! links to previous year’s lists at bottom.] I did not grow up going to church, and I am not a particularly religious person. A few days after the inauguration, I wandered into a nearby church and took a seat in the back pews. I’d gone there right after the election. There was some time for anyone with anything on their mind to stand up and speak. If you need others to pray for you, just let us know. A middle-aged black man in a leather jacket got up and began telling us about an argument he was having with a friend on Facebook. It was about the election, but it was actually about the intractability of racism. He was getting frustrated while describing it to us, in part because he seemed to value being the cool and level-headed one. Plus he was describing the kind of argument millions of people were having on the Internet. “I just hope he finds peace,” the guy said. He paused, then put his hands on his chest. “On a lighter note, today would have been Jimi Hendrix’s seventy-fourth birthday.” He opened up his leather jacket to show everyone his Hendrix t-shirt. “I just wanted to say that, because he was just awesome.” So I returned here, the day after marching through Manhattan with a poster that said “HOLD ON, BE STRONG.” I needed to be in a room that was powered by something other than hate--to be reminded of vision and purpose, even if they weren’t mine to claim. To listen to wisdom gleaned from a book I’ve never read, and pick and choose what I wanted. To hear others pour themselves into songs I never, ever sing along to. I wanted to steal their vibes.  Instead of a hymn, they passed out small pieces of paper with the lyrics of John Lennon’s “Imagine.” This is not the type of church people come to for the music. The pianist started playing, and I remember thinking about how it felt like magic when I learned how to play those chords as a kid. I couldn’t believe we were doing this. We sang, tentatively at first, as though we could not believe these words in this space. Picture it: singing of “no heaven” and “no religion, too,” with humility and hope, inside a house of worship. It was like an admission that faith was inadequate. All we had was one another. “Imagine” is a song I’ve heard millions of times, the type of song that is so ubiquitous that we rarely bother scrutinizing its words, its vantage point, the possibility that someone wrote these words because he actually believed them. I sang along with a room of strangers, and we looked at one another, and, for the first time in months, I began to cry.   TWO LYRICS THAT REMINDED ME OF POLITICS EVEN IF THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS "Wrote this shit January 21″ “Take me back to November / Take me back to November” “I’M AN ANGRY TEENAGER” Novelist, “Street Politician” ONCE THEY START, I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE END Jim O’Rourke’s recently unearthed cover of Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car” Kanye’s sitcom-length remix of “Bed” THURSDAY NIGHTS ON NBC Ross from Friends’ very Madchester guitar-y Boiler Room set DJ Seinfeld, Time Spent Away from U Nino Man, Jadakiss and Styles P, “Friends”

IN ANOTHER YEAR FULL OF NIRVANA/KURT COBAIN REFERENCES (DID YOU SEE JAY:Z’S JACKET?) MY FAVORITE SONG, PROBABLY: this Trippie Redd snippet

SOME VERSIONS OF THE NINETIES THAT WILL NEVER COME BACK THE WAY GRUNGE ENNUI HAS, BUT WERE SO POSSIBILITY-RICH TO ME BACK THEN Kicking Giant, This Being the Ballad of Kicking Giant, Halo: NYC/Olympia 1989-1993 Helium, The Dirt of Luck/The Magic City LIKE MANY WHO LOVED “A STORM IN HEAVEN,” I OVERLOOKED THEM AT THE TIME Acetone, 1992-2001 A REALLY GOOD BOOK ABOUT ACETONE, LOS ANGELES, DREAMS OF GREATNESS Sam Sweet, Hadley Lee Lightcap WOULD HAVE LOVED THIS IN 1994, 2002 OR 2017 Big Thief, Capacity CREDIBLE AND DOPE EARLY NINETIES R&B HOMAGE, SAX AND ALL Joyce Wrice, “Good Morning” SPEAKING OF THE NINETIES, LEECH MADE A MIXTAPE OF JUST THE FLOATY/DREAMY PARTS TAKEN FROM CLASSIC GOOD LOOKING/MOVING SHADOW SINGLES Leech, “Just the Liquid” FOR THE COMEDOWN, DARK-ASS STUFF ASSEMBLED EXCLUSIVELY FROM SLIPKNOT SAMPLES Croww, Prosthetics NOSTALGIA, ULTRA (UK GARAGE/BASSLINE EDITION) tqd, ukg SUMMERTIME ‘SECOND SUMMER OF LOVE’ VIBE Opus III, “It’s a Fine Day (Burt Fox remix)” UNEXPECTED BURIAL SUMMERTIME VIBES Monic, “Deep Summer (Burial remix)” NO REISSUE OR  tk ANNIVERSARY TIE-IN, JUST SOME OLD SONGS I RE/DISCOVERED THIS YEAR Active Minds, “Hobson’s Choice” El-B, “El-Brand” Kamal Abdul Alim, “Brotherhood” Spiritualized in Reykjavik  U2, “Numb (Soul Assassins remix)” U2, “Mysterious Ways (Massive Attack remix)”

SAME, BUT TAIWANESE INDIE ROCK EDITION Chocolate Tiger, “Piecing Together” REISSUES, OR: PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN WEIRD AND SPACY#, OBSESSED WITH NATURAL BEAUTY## # Planetary Peace, Synthesis # Pauline Anna Strom, Trans-Millennia Music ## Pep Llopis, Poiemusia La Nau Dels Argonaut REISSUES, OR: WHEN I WAS A CHILD THERE WERE NO BETTER SONGS THAN THE ONES THAT PLAYED THROUGH TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE AND FOR SOME REASON THIS JOYOUS EP REMIND ME OF THAT SHEEN, THOSE HOOKS, THE PERFECT, THEATER-SIZED ECHO Om Alec Khaoli, Say You Love Me BEST ALBUM-LENGTH METAPHOR FOR THE CITY, ITS LIMITATIONS AND POSSIBILITIES Wiki, No Mountains In Manhattan SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE IT WAS DESCRIBED, JAMAICA VIA OUTER SPACE Equiknoxx, Colon Man I NEED TO GO OUT MORE Jex Opolis, “Mt. Belzoni” KH, “Question”

I LISTENED TO THIS ABOUT TEN TIMES, MY SENSE OF ENCHANTMENT GROWING AND GROWING EACH TIME, BEFORE REALIZING THERE WERE BARELY ANY DRUMS ON IT Mr. Mitch, Devout SERIOUSLY THE MR. MITCH ALBUM WAS REALLY MOVING AND FANTASTIC Mr. Mitch f/ Denai Moore, “Fate” CRAZY WISDOM MASTER Vince Staples, Big Fish Theory C’MON AND RAISE UP Rapsody f/ Kendrick, Lance Skiiwalker, “Power” SO ICEY Zomby, Mercury’s Rainbow ECHO PARTY Demen, Nektyr Evy Jane, “Give Me Love” THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST Vic Mensa, The Autobiography DUNGEON FAMILY, EVEN IN DARKNESS Earthgang f/ J.I.D., “Meditate” FUNNY HOW TIME SLIPS AWAY Lee Gamble, Mnestic Pressure Pessimist, s/t NOT SURE HOW THIS BECAME THE DIWALI OF 2017 BUT OKAY French Montana f/ Mariah, Rae Sremmurd, PNB Rock, Belly, Elephant Man, Vybz Kartel, J Balvin, NORE, Wizkid, “Unforgettable” HOW ARE THIS MANY PEOPLE ON A FOUR MINUTE SONG? GOOD VIDEO THOUGH A$AP Mob f/ A$AP Rocky, Playboi Carti, Quavo, Lil Uzi Vert and Frank Ocean, “RAF” I LIKE IT WHEN FERG’S VOICE GETS ALL NAGGY Ferg, “Plain Jane” METRO BOOMIN MADE A BEAT THAT REMINDED ME OF RADIOHEAD Post Malone f/ Quavo, “Congratulations” THE MARIACHI VERSION IS PRETTY SWEET Brian Imanuel, “How I surprised Post Malone with a mariachi band” ”IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR LYRICS, IF YOU’RE LOOKING TO CRY, IF YOU’RE LOOKING TO THINK ABOUT LIFE...” JonWayne, Rap Album Two CORNBALL PIANOS AND THEN THAT SYNTH DRAGS, AND THEN THE DRUMS KICK Tee Grizzley, “First Day Out” “BUT WILD/WITH MY MONOTONE STYLE” 21 Savage, “Bankroll” Kodak Black, “Candy Paint” Rich Chigga, “Glow Like Dat” ANNUAL SPOT RESERVED FOR LA MUSICA DE HARRY FRAUD French Montana f/ Pharrell, “Bring Dem Things” WHEN LAETITIA SAYS HER OWN NAME ON “EMBERS” Vagabon, Infinite Worlds WHEN JESSIE LEANS INTO THE WORD “FUCK” Jessie Reyez, “Figures” THAT LIGHT MISTING, THAT CASUAL SPRITZ OF SYNTHS Lanark Artefax, “Touch Absence” A GOOD ANTI-DJT THING THAT CAME OUT EARLY THIS YEAR, WHICH FEELS LIKE EONS AGO Lushlife + friends, My Idols are Dead + My Enemies are in Power THE BABY, THE FLUTES, PIERRE’S OBNOXIOUSLY LONG TAG, THE JESSE LINGARD DANCE Playboi Carti, “Magnolia” ILLEST SHIT I SAW THIS YEAR, BABY-RELATED A child at a restaurant watching an iPad and an iPhone at the same damn time “[FREE] PLAYBOI CARTI TYPE BEAT” YBN Nahmir, “Rubbin off the Paint” GUNS N ROSES, BEFORE ONE OF THE WEIRDEST BEEFS OF THE YEAR Trippie Redd f/ 6IX9INE, “POLES1469″ SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE YOU CAN SING, AND DO IT WITH CONVICTION, AND I WILL LISTEN Trippie Redd, “Rack City/Love Scars 2″ ALL THE BACKGROUND NOISE/ECHOED-OUT ADLIBS MAKE THIS BlocBoy JB, “No Chorus Pt 10″ SMERZ HAS FUN DESPITE THE AWKWARD OF IT ALL Smerz on NTS IT SEEMS REALLY EASY TO MAKE A GOOD-SOUNDING SONG THESE DAYS Global Dan, “Off White” OF ALL THE DOPE SHIT THAT FUTURE APPEARED ON THIS YEAR, THE MOMENT I WILL REMEMBER IS That tiny pause before he sings “I need fresh air,” when he seems happy and content IS THAT A GEORGE MICHAEL SAMPLE? Mozzy, “Prayed for This” THE FIX C Struggs, “Go to Jesus” "IT’S COOL, BUT IT’S NOT...END ZONE” Lil Uzi Vert, “XO TOUR Llif3″ AN ALBUM BOOKENDED BY TOTALLY DIFFERENT KINDS OF COLIN KAEPERNICK/TAKE A KNEE REFERENCES Miguel, War and Leisure IT WAS A VERY GOOD YEAR Brockhampton, Saturation I-III SZA, Ctrl SPEAKING OF SZA: WHAT A GREAT TITLE, BESIDES IT BEING ONE OF MY FAVORITE ALBUMS OF THE YEAR Kingdom, Tears in the Club THE KELELA ALBUM WAS LOVELY, AS ARE THESE Kelela x Bok Bok, Dub Me Apart A RANDOM YOUTUBE COVER THAT I ALSO LIKED, BECAUSE IT CAPTURED HOW MELODIC THE ORIGINAL ACTUALLY IS Kathleen Nguyen covering Kendrick and Zacari’s “Love.” DAMN. WAS GOOD Almost as good as “The Heart Part 4″ LIKE A DE LA SOUL ALBUM, SOMETHING THAT I KNOW I WILL CONTINUE ENJOYING/UNDERSTANDING ANEW FOR YEARS TO COME Tyler, the Creator, Flower Boy ”BLONDED RADIO” MADE ME JOIN APPLE MUSIC Frank Ocean, “Chanel” Frank Ocean, “Biking (solo)” Tyler and Frank, “Where This Flower Blooms” MACH HOMMY MAKES GOOD MUSIC THAT’S HARD TO ACCESS “x Earl Sweatshirt” EP ty Soundcloud IT’S A WEIRD TIME B/W THIS BEAT IS SO DEMENTED Tay-K, “The Race” PROBABLY MY FAVORITE PHARRELL BEAT Kap G f/ Pharrell, “Icha Gicha” MAYBE THE GREATEST MUSIC EVER MADE, REISSUED Pharoah Sanders

REMINDED ME OF PHAROAH, WHEN IT WASN’T REMINDING ME OF BON IVER Joseph Shabason, Aytche AND I ENJOYED AYTCHE FOR SIMILAR REASONS I LIKED ZONING OUT TO Tom Rogerson and Brian Eno, Finding Shore ANNUAL SLOT RESERVED FOR MUSIC I LOVED THAT FEATURED HARP Alice Coltrane, World Spirituality Classics Vol 1

SAME, BUT FOR HARP STUFF THAT ALSO SHOUTS OUT WAWA Mary Lattimore, Collected Pieces ANNUAL SLOT RESERVED FOR TASTEFUL VIBRAPHONE Jenifa Mayanja, “Warrior Strutt” YOU TRYING TO GET THE PIPE, TO PLAY IT, OF COURSE, AS PART OF AN EXPERIMENTAL COMPOSITION? Mary Jane Leach, Pipe Dreams THERE’S A MOMENT DURING THAT BAD BOY DOCUMENTARY CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP WHERE IT BECOMES CLEAR THAT EVERYONE WHO WORKS CLOSELY WITH DIDDY EVENTUALLY TURNS TO GOD, AND IT WAS LIKE THE STRANGE OBVERSE OF Jay Z et al, 4:44 footnotes 2016, BUT I SAT IN THE MET BREUER AND WATCHED THIS OVER AND OVER FOR ABOUT AN HOUR Arthur Jafa, “Love is the Message, The Message is Death” I WANT TO WATCH THE FULL FOUR HOURS OF THIS Dev Hynes talking to Philip Glass TRICKSTERY BUT KINDA MESMERIZING! Klein, Tommy Lolina, Lolita EP Hype Williams, Rainbow Edition “NOT ANOTHER GOT MORE SEOUL, UNLESS YOU KOREAN” (CHILLWAVE REMIX) Mogwaa, Deja Vu “THE TING GOES SKRRRAHH, PAP, PAP, KA-KA-KA/SKIDIKI-PAP-PAP, AND A PU-PU-PUDRRRR-BOOM/SKYA, DU-DU-KU-KU-DUN-DUN/POOM, POOM, YOU DON’ KNOW” Big Shaq, “Mans Not Hot” IBID., BUT “PERKY” Drake, More Life I WANTED TO LIKE THE WIZKID ALBUM MORE, BUT THIS WAS AWESOME Tiwa Savage f/ Wizkid and Spellz, “Ma Lo” LISTENED TO THIS QUITE A FEW TIMES SIMPLY BECAUSE ”BREAKING NEWS: WILD GOAT ON THE LOOSE” IS A WEIRD LINE Lancey Foux f/ AJ Tracey, Kojey Radical and Jevon, “Wild Goat” UNITED TIL I DIE BUT AJ TRACEY’S TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR KIT LAUNCH FREESTYLE HAD ME BUZZZZZZIN AJ Tracey, “False 9″ DIFFERENT TIME OF DAY, KINDA LEFT ME SPEECHLESS Grouper, “Children” Colleen, A Flame my love, a frequency Kara Lis Coverdale, Grafts Ryuichi Sakamoto, async LEFT RYUICHI SAKAMOTO ENVIOUS Metaphors: Selected Soundworks from the Cinema of Apichatpong Weerasethakul FROM OMNI TRIO TO THIS, A PRETTY VISIONARY CAREER Robert Haigh, Creatures of the Deep A SONG THAT FEATURED TWO PEOPLE WHO SHOULD BE PRETTY BIG IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF YEARS DJDS f/ Amber Mark and Marco McKinnis, “Trees on Fire” LIKE, THIS IS GREAT Amber Mark, “Lose My Cool” AWESOME YEAR FOR POTIONS Social Lovers, “Drop Me a Line” Boss, “Song for Gods” WHISKED ME BACK TO MEMORIES OF the enormous room Joakim, “Samurai” Calvin Harris f/ Frank Ocean and Migos, “Slide” Amp Fiddler, “I’m Feeling You” Chaos in the CBD, Accidental Meetings LIKE FALLING ASLEEP ON THE SUBWAY, OR A TRUCK HITTING A POTHOLE AND SPITTING OUT A RECORD COLLECTION, OR HEARING A NANOSECOND OF BRAND NUBIAN THROUGH SOMEONE’S HEADPHONES AS YOU PASS THEM ON THE STREET, IT’S A VIBE Standing on the Corner, Red Burns MIKE’S A SAVIOR Mike 1. I SPENT A LOT OF TIME THIS YEAR THINKING ABOUT THE STRENGTH, ELASTICITY, FRAGILITY, GRAIN OF THE HUMAN VOICE AND SOME OF THIS WAS TOTALLY NECESSARY AND SUBLIME Deep Throat Choir, Be Ok Diamanda Galas, All the Way Moses Sumney, Aromanticism 2. SO ACHINGLY GOOD AND INTIMATE, ESPECIALLY THAT FAINT CROAK IN THE FIRST CHORUS Rostam f/ Kelly Zutrau, “Half-Light” 3. OF COURSE THESE WORLD-MAKERS TOO Bjork, Utopia Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith, The Kid Valerie June, “Astral Plane” 3a. A STRANGE PROPOSITION THAT I ENDED UP ADORING KAS covering Sade’s "By Your Side" THE BAY AREA IS JUST DIFFERENT Droop-E, Trillionaire Thoughts Lil B, Black Ken THE “BUILD YOU UP” VIDEO WAS FUN AND ALL BUT I’M REALLY GLAD THIS WASN’T THAT Kamiayah, Before I Wake THE BAY TO L.A. AND BACK AGAIN Mozzy f/ G Perico, “Blammatory” G Perico f/ Mozzy, “What’s Real” GYEAH MC Eiht, Which Way Iz West OUTRUN THE BEAT SOB x RBE, “Lane Changing 2″ BANDS THAT ALWAYS SOUND LIKE THEMSELVES, IN WAYS THAT I FIND COMFORTING the xx, I See You King Krule, The Ooz SAME AS ABOVE, MIDDLE-AGED DIVISION The Feelies, In Between Slowdive, “Star Roving” SOMEONE WHO SOUNDS LIKE NO ONE ELSE Jlin, Black Origami THE NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM Dreezy f/ 6LACK and Kodak Black, “Spar” I LOOKED UP EACH TIME THIS CAME ON THE SHUFFLE Shanti Celeste, “Loop One/Selector”

PROBABLY MY FAVORITE SONG GoldLink f/ Brent Faiyaz and Shy Glizzy, “Crew” OR MAYBE Jorja Smith x Preditah, “On My Mind” THIS WAS SICK TOO GoldLink & Co. covering Outkast’s “Roses” MAYBE THE BEST SONG J Hus, “Did You See”

ANOTHER YEAR, ANOTHER YEAR WHERE MY FAVORITE RELEASE WAS PROBABLY FROM YAEJI, THE “GLASSES FOGGING UP” LINE WAS VERY RELATABLE Yaeji, EP2 THE SONG OF THE SPRING, SUMMER, WINTER   I MEAN, IT’S WAYNE’S WORLD, WE JUST LIVE IN IT ### SIKH DEVOTIONAL MUSIC :: 2016 SPOOKY BLACK :: 2015

[xanthine]

Books of 2017

I somehow read more books in 2017 than I did in 2016. Somehow. Here’s the full list of books I finished:

January 1. CBT at Work for DUMMIES by Gill Garratt  2. MaddAddam by Margaret Atwood  3. The Princess Diarist by Carrie Fisher  4. Wild by Cheryl Strayed 

February 5. Chalked Up by Jennifer Sey 6. Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher 7. My Age of Anxiety by Scott Stossel 8. Shockaholic by Carrie Fisher 9. Sleeping Giants by Sylvain Neuvel  10. Where am I now? by Mara Wilson 11. Dark Places by Gillian Flynn 

March 12. Illness as Metaphor by Susan Sontag 13. Children of Earth and Sky by Guy Gavriel Kay 14. The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon 15. Scrappy Little Nobody by Anna Kendrick 16. milk and honey by Rupi Kaur 17. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott 

April 18. Love x Style x Life par Garance Doré 19. The Happiness of Pursuit by Chris Guillebeau (audio) 

May 20. The Right to Write by Julia Cameron 21. Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin 22. The Revenge of Analog by David Sax 23. Algorithms to Live By: The Computer Science of Human Decisions by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths 24. Adult Onset by Ann-Marie MacDonald  25. One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter by Scaachi Koul 26. The Sound of Paper by Julia Cameron 27. Shrill - Notes From a Loud Woman by Lindy West 

June  28. Caffeinated: How our daily habit helps, hurts and hooks us by Murray Carpenter 29. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert 30. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin 31. The Path by Michael Puett and Christine Gross-Loh  32. Still Procrastinating? By Joseph R Ferrari 33. You'll Grow Out of It by Jessi Klein 34. The Science Writers' Handbook by The Writers of SciLance (edited by Thomas Hayden and Michelle Nijhuis) 

July  35. Confessions of a Sociopath by M.E. Thomas 36. Night Watch by Terry Pratchett 37. The life-changing magic of not giving a fuck by Sarah Knight 38. Dear Mister Essay Writer Guy: Advice and Confessions on Writing, Love, and Cannibals by Dinty W. Moore 39. The Shadowed Sun by N. K. Jemisin 40. Carry On by Rainbow Rowell 

August 41. Binti: Home by Nnedi Okorafor 42. Works Well With Others by Ross McCammon 43. Rest: Why you get more done when you work less by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang 44. Haldol and Hyacinths by Melody Moezzi 45. Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell 46. I Contain Multitudes by Ed Yong 47. Attachments by Rainbow Rowell 48. Everyone's a aliebn when ur a aliebn too by jomny sun 49. Son Of A Trickster by Eden Robinson  50. Systematic by James R Valcourt 

September 51. When Everything Feels Like The Movies by Raziel Reid 52. City of Stairs by Robert Jackson Bennett 53. Hygge: The Danish Art of Happiness by Marie Tourell Søderberg 54. Unf*ck Your Habitat by Rachel Hoffman 55. Waking Gods by Sylvain Neuvel 56. The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb 57. Too Much And Not In The Mood by Durga Chew-Bose 58. The Spooky Art by Norman Mailer 

October 59. Beauty Queens by Libba Bray 60. The First Time I Got Paid For It… Writers’ Tales from the Hollywood Trenches edited by Peter Lefcourt and Laura J Shapiro 61. My Boyfriend Barfed in my Handbag... And Other Things You Can't Ask Martha by Jolie Kerr 62. The Last One by Alexandra Olivia 63. The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker (audio) 64. Something Strange and Deadly by Susan Dennard 65. Hunger by Roxane Gay 

November 66. When Watched (stories) by Leopoldine Core 67. The Productivity Project by Chris Bailey 68. The Stone Sky by N. K. Jemisin 69. Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire 70. The Rules Do Not Apply by Ariel Levy 

December 71. All Inclusive by Farzana Doctor 72. We Are Never Meeting In Real Life by Samantha Irby 73. Next Gen PhD: A Guide to Career Paths in Science by Melanie V Sinche 74. Turtles All The Way Down by John Green 75. the sun and her flowers by Rupi Kaur

[muckity-mucks-blog]

all of them. suffer

making this a read more bc jacks the worst

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

jack

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

outgoing

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

my bros ig

4. Are you easy to get along with?

idk!! sometimes!

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

elmer probs would. jack would probs make fun of me. or hed b drunker than me

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

kinda gay 1s and girl soccer players

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

jesus i hope so

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

my wife alex morgan

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

nope!

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

spot i think

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

no were @ the park

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

mr brightside, r u mine, say you like me, uhhhhhh idk what else?

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

fuckin love it

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

nah

15. What good thing happened this summer?

buncha stuff. its been a rly good summer

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no elmers icky (yes pls)

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

yeah obviously

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

uhh no? srry madeline from 4th grade

19. Do you like bubble baths?

no rly. i dont like sitting still 4 that long

20. Do you like your neighbors?

thyere ok

21. What are you bad habits?

I Have Never Done Anything Wrong In My Life Ever

22. Where would you like to travel?

space. also europe

23. Do you have trust issues?

sometimes

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

talking 2 the bfs

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

uhh idrk. im tryna bulk up some

26. What do you do when you wake up?

bathroom. food.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

uh idrc

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My Boys

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

nah

30. Do you ever want to get married?

probably someday

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

no (ive just been told that it is but its rly not)

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

alex morgan + whoever she wants

33. Spell your name with your chin.

aqkbherrt

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

soccer

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

god idk

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

currently tbh! it happens

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

some shitty joke

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

bigfoot

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

uh idrk 

40. What do you want to do after high school?

be a mechanic

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

nope

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

im overthinking

43. Do you smile at strangers?

not rly

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

SPACE SPACE SPACE

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

having to pee or eat

46. What are you paranoid about?

idk i kinda have abandonment issues

47. Have you ever been high?

yup

48. Have you ever been drunk?

yup

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

nah

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

black

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

nah im good!

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

seeing colors seems p cool

53. Favourite makeup brand?

i dont have 1

54. Favourite store?

again. idk

55. Favourite blog?

the bfs and also crypticaesthetic

56. Favourite colour?

black

57. Favourite food?

pizza

58. Last thing you ate?

a bagel

59. First thing you ate this morning?

…a bagel

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

uh i dont think so?

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

ive been suspended loads of times. and ig i was kinda expelled? for having bad grades

62. Been arrested? For what?

yup. mostly shoplifting and vandalism. oops

63. Ever been in love?

currently

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

it was @ a movie theater and it was not good

65. Are you hungry right now?

nah but i could eat

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

my tumblr friends r my real friends

67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

nope

70. Names of your bestfriends?

elmer jack n spot

71. Craving something? What?

pizza

72. What colour are your towels?

grey i think? idk

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

a bunch

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

nah

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

ive got a few. like… 3 maybe

75. Favourite animal?

dogs 

76. What colour is your underwear?

black

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

depends on the day but rocky road

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

white

80. What colour pants?

black

81. Favourite tv show?

uhhh x files is rly cool. also like ghost hunters n shit like that

82. Favourite movie?

the fast and the furious

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls wtf

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

mean girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

janice

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

the butt

87. First person you talked to today?

elmer n spot

88. Last person you talked to today?

uh idk im w ppl now so…….

89. Name a person you hate?

my dad

90. Name a person you love?

my mom

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

always

92. In a fight with someone?

eh not actively

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

So Many

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

like 4? 5?

95. Last movie you watched?

trolls

96. Favourite actress?

anna kendrick. actually WAIT NO. medda

97. Favourite actor?

chris pratt maybe

98. Do you tan a lot?

hahahahahahahhahaha no

99. Have any pets?

no :(((

100. How are you feeling?

gr8!!!!!!!!

101. Do you type fast?

im ok

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

eh. not rly but i do wish some stuff didnt happen

103. Can you spell well?

sometimes

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

y u p

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

yeah! theyre fun!

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

i hope not!

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yup

108. What should you be doing?

probs paying attention 2 my friends

109. Is something irritating you right now?

not 2 bad

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

god yes

111. Do you have trust issues?

already answered this

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

jack

113. What was your childhood nickname?

albie

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yeah ofc

115. Do you play the Wii?

i like how this is phrased. like “do u play guitar? do u play flute? do u play wii?” but yeah i play wii

116. Are you listening to music right now?

nope

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

fuck yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Y E S HOLY SHIT

119. Favourite book?

football and the halftime prince

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

nah. but i dont see 2 good n the dark

121. Are you mean?

not rly.

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

hahahah no

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

nah. but u can def think some1s hot @ 1st sight

125. Do you believe in true love?

yeah

126. Are you currently bored?

nope!

127. What makes you happy?

My Boys, my family, soccer, cryptids

128. Would you change your name?

nah my names stupid but i can work w it

129. What your zodiac sign?

libra

130. Do you like subway?

the sandwiches or the train system? either way yeah

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

…….i dont have a best friend of the opposite sex

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

spot

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

ALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHT

134. Can you count to one million?

i could but i wont

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

god. 2 many 2 count

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed

137. How tall are you?

6′

138. Curly or Straight hair?

i have straight hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

idc but i prefer darker hair

140. Summer or Winter?

winter

141. Night or Day?

night

142. Favourite month?

october

143. Are you a vegetarian?

def not

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

the darker the better

145. Tea or Coffee?

coffee. tea is garbo

146. Was today a good day?

yeah!!

147. Mars or Snickers?

snicks

148. What’s your favourite quote?

uh………. idk i dont rly have 1

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

y e s

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

there r no books around me

[attina-the-responsible]

Attina Monroe Triton - Character Sheet

all these couples are kissing / and i can't stand the heat / i lost my shoes and left the party / i wander in the street

i put my feet into the fountain / the statues' all asleep / no use wishing on the water / it grants you no relief...

Archetype — The Caregiver Birthday — June 22, 1991 Zodiac Sign — Cancer MBTI — ENFJ Enneagram — 2, the Helper Temperament — Melancholic Hogwarts House — Hufflepuff (burned) Moral Alignment — Neutral Good Primary Vice — Envy/Lust Primary Virtue — Charity Element — Water   

Overview:

Mother — Athena Triton (nee Oceana) (deceased) Father — Jeffery Triton Mother’s Occupation — Homemaker Father’s Occupation — CEO of Triton Industries (they fund coral reef preservation and ocean clean up) Family Finances — Wealthy (from shipwrecked goods) Birth Order — Oldest Brothers —  None Sisters — Andrina (Anna Kendrick FC, Birthday: February 7, 1992), Adella (Tara Lynn FC, Birthday: March 14, 1993), Arista (Lily James FC, Birthday: March 22, 1994), Aquata (Brianne Hildebrand FC, Birthday: September 20, 1995), Alana (Grace Phipps FC, Birthday: September 23, 1997), Ariel (Sophia Lillis FC, Birthday: December 4, 2002) Other Close Family — Melody (cousin, Lily Collins FC, September 2, 1994), see family tree here. Best Friend — Nala Calame Other Friends — I’m sure she has them. Her sisters. Enemies — Guys that have broken her heart or fucked w her sisters. Pets — None. Home Life During Childhood — Happy, though, had to keep being a mermaid a secret and that was rough. Town or City Name(s) — The Ocean, Boscombe Reef. Swynlake, England. What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — Shared with Andrina. Was constantly picking up after her. Had bright colors--yellows and oranges and reds. Any Sports or Clubs — Band/Orchestra. (Harpist/keyboard.) Favorite Toy or Game — She totally has a little blanket that she’s had ever since she was a baby and it’s all ragged but she lowkey keeps it in her purse. Schooling — Swynlake Secondary. Favorite Subject — Biology! Popular or Loner — Popular Important Experiences or Events — First time a guy broke her heart (16? Same year mom died.) Health Problems — OCD Culture — Mermaid culture. Religion and beliefs — Uhhh?? They believe in the ocean???

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim —  Sarah Drew Complexion — Pale Hair Colour — Red Eye Colour — Green Height — 5’4 Build — Petite Tattoos — a whale tail on her finger. Piercings — ear piercings Common Hairstyle — lots of various styles, attina loves to mess with her hair Clothing Style — brightly colored, trendy Mannerisms — talks with her hands, laughs awkwardly a lot Usual Expression —

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — Not really. Physical Ailments — None. Neurological Conditions — Anxiety, Depression, OCD. Allergies —  Seasonal Grooming Habits — Attina does it all--face masks, pedicures, bubble baths. She loves it all! Sleeping Habits — A pretty good sleeper, but a light sleeper. Eating Habits — Can skip meals when stressed. Probably eats more sweets than she should. Exercise Habits —  Does yoga sometimes. Emotional Stability — 5 out of 10. Tina has a lot of anxiety and her OCD can make her really hard to function sometimes, she is quick to panic and quick to anger and quick to tears. Sociability — So. Friendly. Too friendly. Body Temperature — Runs a little cold to the touch, but isn’t actually cold Addictions — none Drug Use — recreational Alcohol Use — all the time.

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — she’s ocd so there is a plethora to choose from Good Habits — always diligent lmao she locks doors like 15 times Best Characteristic — so caring, so sweet Worst Characteristic — sooooo nosy and lowkey desperate Worst Memory — learning that her mother had died Best Memory — each time her sisters were born. Also her first kiss (even if the guy was a dick) Proud of — her degree and her sisters Embarrassed by — pfft everything?? She gets so easily flustered, mostly bc she overshares Driving Style — Doesn’t drive. Strong Points — fiercely loyal and fiercely kind Temperament — bubbly but self-deprecating Attitude — optimist but also a pessimist about her own life Weakness — uhhh so many things? Her desperateness for love she could be easily used if someone tells her they love her Fears — unlovable; something happening to her sisters Phobias — well--OCD is kind of a phobia of disorder Secrets — she’s a mermaid, lol. Also, she got a job at the great barrier reef she turned down Regrets — turning down the job offer (but not really, she’d do it again) Feels Vulnerable When — she likes someone; when her sisters tease her about being overbearing Pet Peeves — when her sisters DONT LISTEN TO HER; messy people (aka all her sisters) Conflicts — wants to live her own life but feels a duty to her fam Motivation — her fam Short Term Goals and Hopes — keep everyone safe Long Term Goals and Hopes — get married. Have a family. (have a job she likes) **disclaimer: she’s given up on all of these Sexuality — Straight Exercise Routine  — she goes when andrina drags her, otherwise she swims and walks a lot. Day or Night Person — Day. Introvert or Extrovert — Extrovert. Optimist or Pessimist — Optimist.

Likes and Styles:

Music — she likes lots of pop; megan trainor lana del ray katy perry. Basic bitches. Also movie soundtracks Books — anything romantic. Literally. Anything. She reads those 10 cent novels you buy at the grocery store that literally no one reads Magazines — vogue def. Probably whatever the british equivalent of People is (the Sun??) Foods — she’s a pescatarian. She lovesss fresh fish. But also fruits and veggies. Lovesss smoothies. Drinks — Smoothies. Also drinks lots of water or she’ll start looking like she’s dying Animals — starfish are her fave but she loves all sea critters. Especially coral reef dwellers bc she’s actually spoken with them Sports — uhhh does marching band count? Social Issues — magicks rights/a kinda skewed feminism/she’s p socially aware Favorite Saying — a boat is safe at shore, but that’s not what it was built for. Color — orange! Like her tail! Clothing — she dresses kinda like vintage but cute Jewelry — she wears like pearl earrings every day as a staple and different necklaces. Her mother’s stuff on special occasions. Games — uhh?? None rly. Tho im sure she’d loves those like shoot ‘em up games idk Halo? skyrim? Websites — tumblr def. Facebook def. Insta DEF TV Shows — god she loves trash reality. Movies — likes gore. Likes romance. Loves when ppl die. Greatest Want — to keep her family safe Greatest Need — to take charge of her destiny

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — She lives in Castle Suites, in a three bedroom apartment with her sister Andrina. (The third bedroom has two sets of bunkbeds and probably a futon in it so hypothetically all the sisters could stay the night.) Household furnishings — Pretty modern and always, always organized and clean. Her house always looks like it is getting ready for a photoshoot, though she has to get on Andrina for putting things away. Favorite Possession — Anything that was her mother’s, or that her mother gave her. Most Cherished Possession — A handwritten letter from her mother that Athena gave her the day her tail “popped” Married Before — Nope. Significant Other Before — Jason Madison (only serious boyfriend, they dated for nine months when she was 15-16). Children — Nope. Relationship with Family — She’s very close to all her sisters and keeps in touch with the cousins (on land) the best that she can. She’s the Perfect Daughter. Car — N/a. Career — Clerk at Whosits and Whatsits Dream Career — She wants to preserve the coral reefs in the world. Dream Life — Travel the world, but then, settle down and have a family. (Preferably have a partner during her worldly travels) Love Life — She dates around. She says “non-existent” Hobbies — Trashy reality television. Hanging out with her sisters. Knitting (bc she’s an old lady.) Watching documentaries. Hanging out in nature. Guilty Pleasure — Chocolate. Attina is always trying the newest diet craze, but when she sad chocolate is her go to. Sports or Clubs — She was in the chess club as a secondary student. She was also the favorite for student body president but she didn’t run during her upper sixth years. Talents or Skills — Attina is a talented piano player, harpist, and singer, though she hasn’t practiced any of these in quite a while. Intelligence Level — Attina is very bright, but she definitely dumbs herself down for boys. Smh. Finances — Her family is rich, but she makes a pretty meager salary at the shoppe.

[foureyesbitchdragon]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i did it @animated-axolotl

Last movie watched: The Iron Gaint Last song listened to: Lofi Hip Hop Radio Last book I read: does a panphlet from Petsmart on how to take care of South and Central American Cichlids count? Last thing I ate: Poke One good thing that happened today: I got to draw Magnus Burnsides If I could time travel to any period of time: 18 hours ago when i was eating poke

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A – Age: not yet an adult B - Biggest fear: fear C - Current time: 12 pm D - Drink you last had: Water E - Every day starts with: wondering if im still dreaming F - Favorite song: hoo boy i cant just pick one G - Ghosts, are they real: i live with one, his name is Bob H - Hometown: Not my favorite buffet but i’d take that over going to Denny’s tbh I - In love with: too many things J - Jealous of: those rly cute people who have people willingly talk to them K - Killed someone: i,,,dont think so L - Last time you cried: uh M - Middle name: diidy N - Number of siblings: 1 O - One wish: happineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss P - Person last called/texted: my friieeeeeeeeend Q - Question you’re always asked: “Are you indian?” R - Reasons to smile: Mangus Burnsides S - Song last sang: an Anna Kendrick song T - Time you woke up: 9 am U - Underwear color: salmon and its got lil blue hearts on them V - Vacation destination: somewhere to wander W - Worst habit: uh X - X-rays you’re had: does going to the dentist once every blue moon to have my teeth checked count? Y - Your favorite food: i rly like chicken soup Z - Zodiac sign: Crapicorn

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Nickname: "Dumbass” is popular on the list but i like to go by KJ

Star sign: Cappy

Height: 5′4

Time right now: 12:13

Last thing you googled: summer in ohio

Fave music artist: Panic! At The Disco is p good

Song stuck in your head: summer in ohio

Last movie i watched: The Iron Giant (11/10 recommend)

Last tv show i watched: A Series Of Unfortunate Events

What i’m wearing right now: loose t-shirt, shorts, that underwear i mentioned

When i created this blog: 2013

The kind of stuff i post: Its a mixed bag

Do i do asks regularly: When the planets align, and a total solar eclipse occurs and the exact same time, then, and only then, will an ask appear on my inbox

Why did i choose my url: I thought it was funny

Gender: Female

Hogwarts house: the blue one

Favorite color: the blue one

Pokemon team: the blue one

Favourite characters: Everyone on Paranatural

Dream job: I wanna bake tons of goodies

Number of blankets: 1

Followers: 405, shout out to the porn bots 4 sticking with me through thic n thin

and now the tagging

Disclaimer: You do not have to do all of the questions, i just did it because i have a lot of time and not much to do. Also if i tag you you do not have to do it. Also if i dont tag u, u can still do it if ya want

@snipperclip @fluffy-rulos @jitterydebonair @granitebox @logrino @emberchii @i-normally-dont

[duanecbrooks]

The Return Of Girls Gone Write     Further unmistakable evidence that women, by and large, are the superior writers: the former George W. Bush press secretary and current Fox News host Dana Perino's my-life-with-my-dog-Jasper memoir Let Me Tell You About Jasper...: How My Best Friend Became America's Dog and the large-screen sprite Anna Kendrick's personal/professional memoir Scrappy Little Nobody. These two books are, frankly, flat-out joys to read, the former being a frequently warmhearted, often humorous, always heartfelt telling of her life and experiences with her pet dog Jasper, who, as she convincingly claims, has become the real and true star of the Perino family; the latter being an engaging, sprightly, consistently witty literary self-examination of one of the modern-day American cinema's most succulent and most appealing chicks. To partake of these tomes consecutively, both from beginning to end, is to spend quality time with a pair of delightfully quirky, keenly aware, firmly articulate she-babes who, each in her own way, have a marvelous sense of proportion, a marvelous refusal to see themselves as having any kind of Greatness.             Before getting into just exactly why these superb books are superb, allow me to go into how I first became aware of Kendrick (If you'll remember, Perino first came into my life via her first-rate within-the-George W. Bush-administration memoir And The Good News Is...: Lessons and Advice from the Bright Side). Kendrick caught my attention, as do many other other folks and things these days, via YouTube. Specifically, first, during a compilation of Kathie Lee/Hoda's "best" Today "celebrity moments," wherein, when Kendrick was asked whether or not she'd like to play a game, she facetiously mimicked Nader and replied mock-earnestly: "No! I hate games! I hate fun, I hate laughing!" (Later, she was shown doing some mock-dirty dancing with said girls); second, during a trailer for one of Kendrick's more recent theatrical films, namely Get A Job, the aforementioned trailer's two highlights, for me, being 1) this scene where Kendrick's filmic character, Jillian by name, is sitting on the floor lamenting the fact that she spent almost all of the money she had on a BITCHIIN' pair of shoes, while clad in a pair of equally bangin' black toreador pants that, given her sitting position, magnificently show off her magnificently long, lean legs and her magnificently-proportioned bare feet; and 2) a long shot of Kendrick adorned in a man's white shirt and tie and black high heels and again displaying those stylishly long, lean legs. Thus I was already primed, due to being previously turned on by Kendrick, to favor her tome.             It's here where I'll deal with the highlights of both books, the places where our memoirists especially grab ahold of and, simultaneously, charm and delight us.               .Perino, on the vast network of fans/friends that has developed due to her having Jasper: "It is a bit wonderful that through television and social media, Jasper and I became friends with so many people across the country. I enjoy interacting with my followers and fans, and I really feel that we have modern-day friendships--people I've never met, but that I've come to know over time through short digital interactions. It has widened my circle of people I talk to, and it's deepened my appreciation for people from all walks of life. I now get a chance to communicate with people I wouldn't have ever known; the Internet has given us a way to connect and network that didn't exist before. We're all neighbors now (with the proper amount of fencing to keep things friendly).               "Often this new group of people has cheered me up or warmed my heart just when I needed it. Working in politics and live cable television can be stressful, and switching off at the end of the day isn't always easy. Jasper's following has actually given me a way to set aside the work portion of my day and exchange some messages with my electronic friends, which helps me keep grounded and cheerful."                 .Kendrick, on her brother Mike: "My brother is my hero. I've idolized him since the day I was born and I still do. He's responsible for at least sixty percent of my personality, for better or worse. I'm told that if you're an only child, you grow up thinking you're the center of the universe, and if you have tons of siblings you grow up with a healthy perspective on how small you are in the grand scheme of things. I'd like to think that my brother told me I was a worthless brat often enough that I got the same effect...     "Mike's main interests [when we were kids] were watching Star Wars, playing Magic: The Gathering, and avoiding his annoying little sister. The only time he happily included me was when he wanted to play 'Pro Wrestling Champions,' as I was an ideal partner on which to inflict moderate injury."           .Perino, on Jasper's television debut: "Jasper made his debut on The Five [Perino's Fox News political talk show] as a sleepy puppy at just two months old, and a star was born. I brought him on set and when we were back from commercial break, I showed him off for the camera. He looked right into the lens with his deep blue eyes (a Vizsla [Jasper's breed] is born with blue eyes that eventually turn amber). He snuggled into me. Hearts melted.             "Jasper has tons of personality and is as photogenic as any dog I've known. On Jasper's birthday, my [The Five] producer lets him come on the show and he sits on a chair, for the most part, wearing a bow tie collar, and you would think he knows exactly what he's doing when he looks into the teleprompter. He's certainly better behaved than [Five co-host Greg] Gutfield."             .Kendrick, on her early period as an actor: "Starting in theater gave me a basic work ethic that I may not have gotten if I started in film and television. I worked six days a week, eight shows a week (two shows on Wednesdays and Saturdays, Mondays off). It wasn't so much the schedule--I worked in accordance with child labor laws--it was that I was held accountable for my work.             "Once, during rehearsals, our director was playing with the shape of a musical number that involved most of the cast--which jokes should stay, where they should go, etc. He decided to try reinstituting a small joke I'd had in a previous draft, and we started the number again from the top. I lost where we were in the music and I opened my mouth to say the line, a measure too late. He was already shaking his head and signaling the pianist to stop.             "'Anna just lost a line. Let's go back to how it was before and start again.'"         .Perino, on her period as W.'s press secretary: "[B]ecoming the White House press secretary was the best thing that ever happened to my career. I learned so much--about policy, world affairs, management, and politics.             "But the most important lesson I learned working for President Bush was about character and how to conduct myself under stress and attack. I found out how to be productive despite obstacles, and appreciated how a communicator can help calm a situation, advance a negotiation, or lead to a solution.               "The press secretary is the pinnacle for a public relations professional--it was the opportunity of a lifetime.                 "But having worked in politics for so many years, I'd built up a fairly tough exterior. The daily battles can wear a person out, and in some ways, I became edgier and harder than I'd ever been.         "It was also a lofty position, and the surest way you can lose your way in Washington, D.C., is to let any of that power or prestige go to your head.             "Throughout those years [first dog] Henry kept me from losing sight of what was important in life: appreciation and gratitude for my health and blessings, and the love I shared with [hubby] Peter and our dog."     .Kendrick, on her early life as a struggling actor: "The next pilot season [for television series] was starting up, which meant I was usually sent on one to four auditions a day. I discovered MapQuest and wrote down directions by hand since I didn't have a printer. Between that and my growing knowledge of the city, I was only getting lost, like, six times a day. Pilot season is grim because you're sent in for everything, no matter how wrong you are for it. I kept a mountain of clothes and accessories in my trunk so I could go from the fourteen-year-old goth daughter on a TNT drama to the spoiled twenty-two-year-old receptionist on a workplace comedy. It's obvious now that splitting my focus made it responsible for me to do well on any of them, but I was in no position to turn down auditions.               "How do I describe my personal life during this time? I met funny, interesting people. I went to art galleries downtown, I performed a one-woman show for free on the street corner. Except none of that's true. I spent most of my time trying to find ways to occupy myself without spending money or ingesting calories."                     .Perino, on what she terms Jasper's "protest pee": "When I wrote And the Good News Is... I received a lot of gifts for Jasper, including an embroidered quilt with the Great Seal of the United States. It is beautiful and functional. [Peter and I] take it with us to our friends' homes if we are invited to stay the night, because, well, you try telling Jasper he can't sleep on the bed. With the quilt, we're covered. Literally and figuratively.                   "When we're at our place in South Carolina, leaving him in the house is even more stressful. For a while, whenever we'd go out, we'd come home and find that he'd peed on the floor. As soon as we'd walk in, we'd know something happened, because Jasper would grab a toy as he always does, but instead of frantic joy and butt wagging, his tail would be down and he'd look guilty. It was hard to discipline him because you're supposed to catch them in the act. [Hubby] Peter would get pretty made at Jasper, and I'd feel terrible.                 "'He's so scared to be left alone,' I'd say.           "'No, he's being a brat,' Peter responded."                   .Kendrick, on behavior at showbiz events: "There's a campaign called #AskHerMore, which was started by some thoughtful, intelligent females (Lena Dunham, Reese Witherspoon, Shondra Rimes, etc.). It aims to ensure that when women attend events, they are asked about more than their dresses. Men don't answer questions about their clothes; why should we [women]? A simple and understandable request.                 "However, if people could ask me less, that would be great. I would love it if we could limit my red carpet topics to my favorite colors, what sound a duck makes, and my thoughts on McDonald's All-Day Breakfast--blessing or curse?"                 Also: Nearly the final half of Perino's book consists of various @FiveFanPhotoshops pictures that very humorously show Jasper in a collection of quite colorful poses--Jasper painting a portrait of Perino's former boss, W.; Jasper as a race-car driver; Jasper and Perino involved in the Kentucky Derby with the latter on top of the former, et al. And Kendrick's tome closes with a "Bonus Reading Group Guide," wherein there are "a few questions to help you get the most out of your reading experience."(As an addend, Kendrick wittily 1] apologizes for the "fact" that her "Guide" offers no red meat for those of us who "happen to run a trashy celebrity news blog that requires you to peruse the content of privileged cretins like me"; and 2] gives us permission to "use these questions [in the "Guide"] as a template for creating misleading but juicy headlines." She winds up by, also wittily, summing up what she, so she claims, is conveying: "[F]amous white girls are really fun to be mad at") Among the queries asked in the "Guide":                                        .."Though every page of Scrappy Little Nobody is perfect in every                           way, which part is your favorite? Make a list (it can be a Post-it that                           says, 'Every part is my favorite') and tape it to your chest for the rest                                 of the day."                                        .."When Anna compares Zac Efron to Charles Manson, is she making                                 a joke or trying to warn us about a potential murderous mastermind?"                                .."In the sections about Alexa Chung and Olivia Palermo, the author                           viciously maligns two innocent and very fashionable girls. Is Anna a                           shady, basic bitch, or the shadiest, basic-est bitch?"                                       .."Anna makes a lot of bad decisions. Can you think of a time when                                 you've made a bad decision? Oh wow, really? We're gonna pretend                                   you can't think of a single example? YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER                             THAN ME?!"             And thus there are the books of Dana Perino and Anna Kendrick, the former being a greatly stylish, consistently witty, always loving paean to a dog who is not only a beloved pet but, as Perino very convincingly limns, one of the most well-known and well-regarded personalities in America (easily, happily, well above and beyond any yammering about "animal rights"); the latter being an engagingly lively, undeniably honest, unrelievedly funny self-portrait of a celebrity gal who is obviously on the sides of life and living, whose unflinchingly upbeat, never-say-die attitude comes through in literally every paragraph.                 In the much-lauded theatrical film The Magic of Belle Isle, the single Mom Charlotte O'Neill (Virginia Madsen), during an evening dinner with her daughters and that evening's guest, the renowned Western novelist Monte Wildhorn (Morgan Freeman), asserted: "I've always felt that a book does something no friend could: Stay quiet when you want to think." To partake of the Perino and Kendrick tomes as they "[s]tay quiet" is to have you "wanting to think" about them--always favorably and, very often, with unsheathed laughter.

[knifcblind-blog]

“sometimes i think ‘i need to think before i speak’ & then other times I think ‘i shouldn’t leave the house or interact with people ever.’”

                             the dark poet looked down in a thoughtful expression. surly she understood thinking before speaking, but the second part of natsuki’s statement made her a bit sad. “ i see. . . i know my opinion probably doesn’t matter much to you, but. . . i would be sad if you didn’t leave the house. i wouldn’t get to see you. ” her cheeks flushed at her own words as her head turned, fingers toying with the tips of her hair. “ i-i’m sorry if my saying that was out of place. . . but it’s true. ”

anna kendrick, our lord and savior ( a. ) || @defiedcute