#also i love all of their expressions. so much. especially heavy. and u really captured medic's psychosis

[fudanshi-piss-room]

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Pony fortress or something lol. I was too lazy to do the logo

[thomaslightwoodenthusiast]

alright fuckers u asked for it u got it

here is my thomastair playlist

its fifteen songs long, could be subject to change we’ll see lol

it’s on spotify so i’m going to link it at the bottom of this post, but first i’m going to list the songs and artists and provide a little context as to why i believe it qualifies as a thomastair song 😈😈

1.) dixie boy - april smith and the great picture show

chose bc i absolutely love this song, and i love belting it when i’m home alone lol. it *is* sang by a girl, however a) her voice is beautiful and b) the lyrics just fit thomastair SO well. no spoilers ofc but think of when alastair said that he always noticed when others were looking at thomas and how much he hated it. that’s this song. although it could also be how thomas feels about charles LMAO

2.) medicine - royal sugar

got recommended these guys on ig and they’re great!! no reason other than it’s just a rly cool song, kinda sexy, it’s just great lol

3.) fleeting love - royal sugar

reminds me of earlier thomastair 💗🙏

4.) indigo - mouth culture

there aren’t many lyrics to this, but it’s one of my fave songs. such a chill, great vibe, just makes me picture the two of them sitting together in the evening, no words, just relaxing :)

5.) why’d you only call me when you’re high? - arctic monkeys

possibly the only song on this any of u will recognise HA. again no real reason. just i guess when they had their oh moment??

6.) loud - feed the biirds (not a typo)

they’re out. they’re happy. they don’t give a fuck who says what. they love each other and the whole world is gonna know.

7.) palo santo - years & years

the first of 3 y&y appearances. olly (the singer) is gay and i love how his music expresses his identity; he’s not shy about it. reminds me a little of the sanctuary scene??

8.) i need you to hate me - jc stewart

okay i’m gonna be honest this is here for 2 reasons. one, bc it makes so much sense for thomastair. how alastair was so desperate for thomas to not care about him so that neither of them got their hearts broken. two, because apparently jc stewart is from a place just down the road from where i live HA ni represent fr

9.) DKLA - troye sivan, tkay maidza

fuck it lol just makes sense to me

10.) sanctify -years & years

one of the lines is ‘you don’t have to be straight with me’ with heavy emphasis on the word straight and it makes me giggle so

11.) tout l’univers - gjon’s tears

okay it’s a eurovision song BUT i needed a french song!!! cause paris!!! if you want to look up a translation of the lyrics feel free, but here’s (roughly) what the chorus says:

all the universe // our two hearts beneath the earth // in the midst of failures, everything explodes // to be at the point of impact // without you

i am aware they are kind of sad lyrics but i think this song captures how tumultuous everything was for them at the start, especially from a personal point of view for alastair

12.) moon - the cab

i love alexander deleon’s (lead singer) work as bohnes soooo the cab are great too. again just a silly kinda sexy song lol. also just realised it’s called moon and la voyage dans la lune guys i’m so smart

13.) hypnotised - years & years

more early thomastair vibes. actually the y&y songs on this make me want to write smth. idk. i think early thomastair owns my heart tbh

14.) love it if we made it - the 1975

yes i dislike matty as much as the next person however this song means a lot to me personally. i don’t know why, but it has helped me through a lot, like a note to self kind of thing? anyways. yeah i love this song and i think it really represents the desperation of thomastair, particularly how thomas put so much effort into convincing alastair that they’d be ok, that they could be together. ‘i’d love it if we made it’ just makes me think of thomas tbh. and!!! it’s all good bc!!! they did!!!

15.) hit and run - lolo

okay i’m going to be honest. i wanted there to be specifically 15 songs and so i needed to think of a final one to add. i really like this one, and thomastair often comes to mind when i listen to it. like i could just see them doing something borderline illegal or generally stupid and running away laughing because they’re just two idiots in love. lowkey oneshot idea of them being a criminal duo? who knows

that’s it for now, happy listening and feel free to add your own songs! you should be able to, i think it’s public and if you really want you can follow my spotify lol

here is the link:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6uSxw4bJefjV9iTQaEPZYD?si=BByxWrnLTwObcEM2PYbD3A

[tofumedic]

hewo! for the affections number.. 16 is so cute.. would u be able to do headcanons of all the demon bros with it? if not, can u pls do levi then !

The Brothers + Simeon with #16!

16. taking a photo of them smiling or in their element

(lucifer's is here from a previous ask! and bc of that i added simeon only for having some lil funnies i hope you dont mind <3!!!)

Mammon

His collection is the largest, he flaunts it like collectables like cars or like Levi's figures. It is literally one of his biggest flexes and will use them like trading cards never wanting to send them in group chats or privately bc he took those ones get your own human >:(!

He will however hold his phone directly in one of their faces, waving the screen around to show how he has so many good ones.

He uses them for call screens, his lock screen, his home screen, any widget he can other than the Goldie one. He's a menace about it but do not call him out on it he will buy a second phone to use in the public.

Anyways, anyways for actually taking photos..

Mammon always takes too many, as in he will take a bunch within the same timespan because he doesn't trust his hands not to shake, so if he just takes a lot at one time so he can delete the others and save the best ones

But he just ends up keeping all of them, just favoriting the best or separating them into two albums of "valuables" and "treasures" depending on the quality.

Usually they will all have a small blur, him too excited at seeing whatever expression you wear, whether its a smile at seeing him purposely acting dumb or you enjoying a hobby.

He feeds a lot of unfiltered second hand serotonin off of you! Please do not disturb his "I have just had a very bad brotherly bonding experience, I must cope by looking at my photos of my human- No I'm not smiling already shut up"

Leviathan

Levi will use photos of you like wholesome memes so they carry the same energy as the hang in there cat poster, using different heart overlays and nice quotes

His are also a mixture of blurry but also high quality photos, for ones he takes.

This is because seeing you so dedicated or when you smile in his direction, his heart does this weird jumpstart the palpitations making him feel heavy yet light at the same time almost like a peach and its pit.

But he has a preference to use either this small tripod(he has it as a preparation for going to live shows) or a timer so its set away from him as he calls you over, its his own little trap.

His favorite, the majority of his collection, are those! It's photos of you being in frame with him in it as well because there's just something about how all that happiness of yours is completely focused on him, your smile as you walk over towards him sometimes blurry and mistimed so its only you entering the corner of the screen but you can tell how he takes your attention.

When getting in fights about who has the best photos, he will drop ones that are different hugs of him in your arms like he was a newly one plush. Mammon especially gets pissy about these as well as Belphie and Asmo.

If you can't turn your camera on when he calls or if he is locked in a raid that they're losing he would ask you for a selfie also, never requesting anything special other than just yourself but his favorite is when you send just smiles or videos of the which character are you filter :]!

Satan

Satan often tries to hide it, saying he's taking a photo of himself or checking his hair, maybe even going as far as saying the text on his study notes are too small so he has to hold it in front of his face so close.

Think about cowboys, shooting from the waist. That's him when you're too far away, maybe with a brother or during class or eating. He will scribble out his brother or purposely have the other cropped out of the shot.

He does have a lot of you when you're just turning around to face him and then your reaction, he can't resist the temptation of taking your attention when he's bored or waiting for his next book order to come in before he goes back to the cat behavior of only seeking out attention when he deems it necessary and otherwise pleased for a period of time.

He loves the ones where you look at him before he's ready, these are just slightly shaky from him jumping or pressing the button in an embarrassed panic at your smug yet happy expression.

Has definitely done the cut a hole in a newspaper and put his camera to it to look out like it was some camouflage but he's first, smiling much too hard and trying not to laugh at it, and second had seen it in multiple old movies and shows you had watched together.

Satan, speaking of movies, quite enjoys you in low light. On movie nights where your face is only illuminated by the projector screen and the photos turn out a bit grainy, there's something so romantic about you just existing in such an atmosphere. These ones he does like more when you're focused, looking far off with a small pleasant smile on your face at the soft plot of tonight's pick.

Asmodeus

Asmo will send you them all the time, he's like your own personal Devilgram manager he will even edit them for you and send the before and after of those photos too (MC: when did u take these??? Asmo: ,';p)

He will always have such good angles of you, from your side, from above or below, a 3/4, or full portrait, your silhouette. He may have one for each basic one at least though his favorites are above and below, these are the most personal feeling to him.

Usually these come as him trying to get your attention, bothering you with his phone and purposely leaving the little shutter noise on so you hear every single one while you're just trying to watch a DevilTube video or do something else.

Him snuggled into your side post cuddle just to lean up, phone in his hand and a menacing giggle, it's the first thing you see waking from your drowsy state is him on top of you trying to get cute pictures that he can use as teases as if something else was in progress.

Or ones where you roll on top of him, just trying to get up to see the dumb little flash as an alarm instead of his cute good morning kisses to your face(those are actually used to buy more time with you because he is allowed to be a little selfish as a treat)

He also has them set as his lockscreen and homescreen, these being photos of you together so he can have the best of both worlds, himself and your happy smiling face. He just finds it so cute, whenever you want an audience to see it he's in the first row.

Sends them to the group chat with his brothers to start some chaos

"My~ Isn't my dearest MC just the cutest?" Asmo has sent 28 attachments.

Beelzebub

His collection isn't one of the best out there but it is unique and keeps him content and happy, pleased.

He likes having photos of you for when you two are separated, it makes you feel closer to him and him to you

His may have some of the least blur, hands steady you work on something separately yet aware of the soft stare that was bearing into the side of your head.

He may forget sometimes about the sound so when you get the rare notification from his electronic betrayer it is free power to tease him, asking him if he wanted your attention or if he just took a photo of you and to be honest, then his photos if you let him continue for that setting are a little blurrier on your fine details. He's embarrassed.

He likes these more than ones with just your smile because then he isn't as satisficed because then he's thinking about how nice it looks in person and your laugh and when you let out a sigh being tired from your work, it'll be a cycle until he gives up and goes to see you in person.

But he likes the ones of you in your element very much and photos of you in general, saying that looking at them makes him feel "full"

He means to say complete, he's content and pleased and delighted and he has a reminder of you existing, that you're real and not a midnight sleep walk hallucination.

Belphegor

He has the smallest collection but next to rest, Beel, and his appearance he is mostly focused on capturing photos of you when he can.

He didn't get to really know you as long as his brothers have so its only fair he gets to spend more time with you than them until he's equal, and then some because you're really comfy and you make his twin happy? and then on top of that you make this face when you are concentrated and you smile different depending on if you're gonna laugh or if you're confident.

There's so much he has to memorize, he's rather demanding with having the attention so he may continue this personal agenda of his.

A lot of them are from similar angles, from laying with him in different positions but everything feeling relatively the same, normal. These are usually after he has woken up, not before he goes to bed so either it's your soft good morning smile, or your surprised "how long have you been awake" face, or you still asleep on your own.

Many of them often have his bed head just barely visible at the bottom, usually having laid on top of you and just using his selfie camera and angling it up to see you take up more of the screen.

For just being a pillow that moves a lot you definitely are photogenic.

He doesn't send his photos of you to chats but will save photos sent of you from everyone except Lucifer.

Simeon

PLEASE applaud.

It takes him such a long time, but Solomon gave him the idea saying it was something sweet you would also enjoy the concept of. So he is doing his best.

He will see you, just existing and his heart will swell, needing to pause a moment before kindly asking you to hold that thought and pose as he turns on his phone, maneuvering to the camera and trying to get it to focus on you perfectly.

It takes him a few minutes every time but he is getting better at it but his reaction is always the same, smiling at you showing up on his phone screen waiting for the picture to be taken.

He never can be sneaky about it unless he asks for help to get your photo, sending Luke on his biggest mission yet, a photo after he asks you what you thought of Simeon's cooking knowing you'll have that sweet face of genuine thought looking back on it.

But he has yet figured out how to turn the sound off and almost always accidentality flashes you up close, it's so bright.

He has the most blurry photos, and that's not on purpose but when he asks you to look at them with him so he can coo about how happy you look or how serious, its endearing with the blur especially as they clear up a bit continuing the timeline of photos.

He really does his best to have these mementos of you.

Is delighted when you surprise him by putting his favorite one of you as his home screen, he's so grateful let him match with you he wants to be yours too!

from this prompt list!

[sugar-petals]

Can u do a reading on how to attract bts? Thank you

the tarot was talkative for that one 😄 i’m used to doing love readings

PS: i pulled a card of the goddess guidance oracle for each member showing what energy is needed to attract them.

Yoongi: TEN OF CUPS

yoongi is one hell of a sucker… for all things romance and the thought of a happy family. if you are an unapologetic love bird on duty, yoongi will make moves, i guarantee it. he wants the rose-colored glasses and all the cheesy things. if you express the romance outside that he feels inside, things will naturally match up like magnets. you don’t have to worry about your fantasies being up in the clouds, yoongi is pragmatic enough to ground you at the end of the day. the ten of cups tells me he isn’t looking for a fling, but long-term soulmates. he wants to be caring toward a partner and potential kids so he has to be sure it’s the right place and point in time. yoongi seeks reliability and strings attached. i know many people speculate he’s the type for one night stands when he gets too desperate, the card however says he’s anticipating something bigger. if someone looks like a distraction to him, he won’t be interested. he won’t go for temporary relief because there’s a major goal he pursues, and he’s all in.

⟶ goddess card: hathor — receptivity. “allow yourself to receive. this will increase your intuition, energy, and ability to give to others.”

Hoseok: STRENGTH

self-explanatory — you can attract him with confidence and bravery. a big and jovial presence is what hoseok is looking for. he prefers you to initiate. self-doubt repels him, he needs you to be in control. a self-assured presence will make him say yes to getting asked out. in a more literal way: you see a woman gently stroking a lion’s mane/face on the card. he is looking for a partner who’s down for plenty of cuddles and PDA, especially on the giving side. he really loves to be pampered. given that it’s a lion she caresses: it’s about having the courage to talk to him and seeing hoseok’s soft side, opposite to his bold, beastmode stage image. he likes the idea of being tamed. visually, since the woman is blonde i feel he might be attracted to that hair color, dyed or natural. since we talk strength, he is easy to woo by someone muscular. as for zodiac signs, obviously all the leo guys and gals are hoseok’s best bet.

⟶ goddess card: athena — inner wisdom. “you know what to do. trust your inner wisdom, and take appropriate action without delay.”

Jungkook: EIGHT OF CUPS

you cut toxic ties and step out into a new emotional life with him — that shows jungkook that you are ready to commit. a heavy past burdening you as a couple is his greatest fear. so, to attract him, being with you has to be an appeal of some kind of fresh start. even a second chance, in fact. what matters a lot to jungkook as well is having a sense of guidance. you have to be very clear with him that you will genuinely stick around. the eight of cups talks about abandonment and loneliness so i mark that down as either your or his vulnerable spot. jungkook is more than ready to overcome this as long as he has your loyalty. seeing the card pop up in this context also tells me that jungkook might be quite weary about love. attracting him might be somewhat difficult because his emotions are heavily guarded or he easily discards feelings. it’s a matter of rebuilding trust and a lot of healing. chances are he’s not ready yet or has to walk away from a past attachment first. i get a sense that one partner requires a lot of patience before things get started.

⟶ goddess card: oonagh — easy does it. “there’s no need to hurry or force things to happen. everything is occurring in perfect timing.”

Taehyung: SEVEN OF SWORDS

a mischievous charm is like moths to the flame with him. tease him and you’ll go far with tae, he likes that. the seven of swords is a sly card that indicates cunning; you see a guy stealing swords from a battlefield. so what it tells me is that you have to be a smartass and know your way with words. let’s face it, you’re loco as hell for that guy, you’d steal the declaration of independence. i see the stealthiness as a sign of wanting to ‘get away with’ taehyung literally, as in sneaking off to make out somewhere. he loves the daring element of doing that. risk and secrecy turns him on. it’s not going to be some random romance either, whoever captures his interest has an actual strategy in mind to get close to him. basically the same as in namjoon and hoseok’s reading, you initiate. it could also be like in your stereotypical teen comedy movie where the person is too shy to be upfront with their crush so they devise a plan to get together. 

⟶ goddess card: guinevere — true love. “the romantic stirrings in your heart have propelled the universe to deliver great love to you.”

Namjoon: EIGHT OF PENTACLES

there’s no way around it, you have to be extremely close to his most personal of projects. he tends to be by himself a lot in the studio. it’s not you attracting namjoon, namjoon has to attract you into his intimate sphere of work. it’s likely not a fan he’s gonna date at this point in time, it feels too remote for him. someone knee-deep in the kpop industry is a better match. he’ll consider such a union because the person has to really understand where he’s coming from and how much he sacrifices for his career. or actually, how focused he is carrying bts on his shoulders. the person who respects him as productive and the leader has a chance to get into his heart. the card — there’s a guy doing woodwork on it — also tells me he might want to date a business person or someone who is a talented master builder when it comes to handcrafts. so, to get the relationship going we need two moneymakers, the eight of pentacles is a good card to bring that energy about.

⟶ goddess card: sedna — infinite supply. “you are supplied for today and all of your tomorrows.”

Seokjin: DEATH

oh man. you gotta be a big deal. with the death card i know that out of all members, jin is the hardest to faze. he scrutinizes up close who wants to mingle with his private life, his priorities are all sorted out. there is no bullshit going on. so, only someone knowing every trick in the book will catch his eye. a partner who’s older and/or highly experienced for sure. the death card also talks about non-discrimination — as in, nobody is exempt from death — so it might be someone from a different social class, country, or belief system that he feels drawn to. your background and looks won’t be jin’s criteria. personality and intent comes first, not keeping up appearances. it’ll transform the public big time if jin out of all people pulls such a move and spits in the face of prejudice. note that the card also symbolizes endings, so he might attract someone at the end of his career or either party’s end of another relationship.

⟶ goddess card: sige — silence. “take some quiet time alone to rest, meditate, and contemplate.”

Jimin: NINE OF PENTACLES

show off your sophisticated clothes and spoil him. jimin will take definite note of it. whatever affluence and abundance you have to display — e.g. a supple figure, a generous amount of money, valuable property, a knack for cooking — it will bring him close to you. sugar baby jimin likes all things lavish and wants an elegant partner to link arms with. the card also has a little falcon sitting on a woman’s hand (symbolizing life purpose in traditional tarot, you wanna have that one figured out because jimin likes people with a direction), it tells me that you can easily endear jimin if you have a pet. given that jimin is a feline magnet despite his allergy, you bet that he gravitates toward a cat lover. or, in a wider sense, a cat person to his dog person. since the card is also about nature/harvest: he might be interested in you if you have gardening skills lmao! i’m not kidding, if you take good care of interiors and plants you have his respect.

⟶ goddess card: abundantia — prosperity. “the universe is pouring its abundance out to you. be open to receiving.”

[enduringsea]

( rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people! no skipping! ) / tagged by @yellowcrumpet​ ╭( ･ㅂ･)و )))

Thanks for the tag! I LOVE these things-- I don’t rlly have a playlist either though, just a mess of music files on a device I haven’t updated so I’ll be checking my YouTube history too lol. There’s a uhhh.... pattern to be found, mainly relating to Code Vein or other OCs.... which isn’t surprising ._. ;; I made it a separate post bc I knew this was going to get long and rambly with lyric snippets and crying about fictional characters, sorry :D

1. Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor don’t go / you’re half of me now / but i’m hardly stood proud / i said it, almost oh i’ve been low / but damn it i bet it don’t show / it was heaven a moment ago oh i can’t seem to let myself leave you / but i can’t breathe anymore This one gives me Loubeth vibes ok, partially bad end route ;-; While Elizabeth is a very strong person, her friends are the most prominent reason she tries to do anything at all & isn’t living day-to-day in a monotonous grind to survive without a solid purpose other than ‘help random ppl bc it’s the right thing to do’. If she loses them, it’d ruin her & hammers into her head how everything she’s ever done has been a failure. She suffered a major betrayal by her boss before the Collapse, she was unable to fully participate in proj. queen despite her incredible test results, she failed to defeat Cruz and take her blood during Operation Queenslayer, and if she fails to protect the people she’s finally found meaning with? She’d break down completely & destroy herself to save them. She’s always had some level of abandonment issues, and without her family around it’s so much worse, even if it isn’t the most obvious because she’s generally seen as very well put together-- I really can’t express how much it would hurt her to lose Louis, Yakumo, and the others. She’s just not one to show just how bad it can truly get for her mentally and emotionally-- she’s resilient as hell, she’s been through hell repeatedly and survived it all, so it’s easy for others to assume she’s fine all things considered. It makes her feel weak and ashamed of herself if she shows any level of vulnerability, so she doesn’t; she swallows it down and is afraid of disappointing those who look up to her as a fighter and friend-- of course, no one at Home Base would blame her for being vulnerable, they all have their moments, Bethy just sets herself to such a high standard it’s difficult for her to talk about her own suffering in spite of how well-versed she is in getting her thoughts and feelings across otherwise. Louis is the one most keen to how deeply she’s hurting, but he doesn’t understand just how deeply until she finally does fall apart. The final swell of the song and its desperate lyrics really relays the pain they both feel-- Louis too would not fare well if something happened to Elizabeth, because he blames himself she was even involved in Operation Queenslayer for a long time, I honestly did so bad in explaining coherently, this song just has so much emotion and hurt behind it adklfjdfdff </3

2. Looking Out For You - Joy Again this is a love song for a girl who will never know it’s about her she's beaming that smile / all the while i’m all tripped up on my own throat i guess there is no hope This song reminds me of Elizabeth & my friend’s character Takashi Fujioka, who gets-- vERY...FRIENDZONED, for lack of a better word, by Elizabeth in his story, it’s really summed up best as tragic (;﹏;) Before the Collapse they were hitting it off, then the Collapse happened, they were separated, he lost his sisters, Mido happened, he was experimented on + became a revenant, etc, etc; years have passed since then & she’s gotten her life together as much as one can in a world like Vein, but for Takashi it’s like no time has passed at all. Elizabeth is subtly older in appearance, she’s been working w Lou & Co. for a long time; Loubeth blatantly have a connection, & rather than bringing up his feelings + making it awkward bc he values their friendships, he just kinda. chokes on them & does his best to help out the team. It doesn’t help he can’t even be jealous bc Louis is a really solid friend to him too, IT’S JUST A MESS OF A SITUATION & the death of what could have been if things were different.

3. Closer - Teagan And Sara ( no lengthy explanation for this one thank goodness, I’ve just been watching BoJack Horseman again and I really like some of the songs they add in, I like listening to this one on loop when mindlessly coloring something )

4. Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo  all I did was try my best / this the kind of thanks I get? they say these are the golden years / but I wish I could disappear ego crush is so severe / god, it's brutal out here I have it on a playlist for Elizabeth somewhere, not all of it applies to her but it reflects some of her struggles she has both before & after the collapse. She’s-- always kind of been a mess while under immense pressure + has serious self image issues, this song hits that side of her well. She’s been held to humanly impossible standards by both herself and her family bc frankly? She can reach them, she’s NOT exactly human. She was born into her position as a hunter & intends to keep it for as long as she lives (like revenants, her kind is very much ‘either gets killed or lives 5ever), even if some days she really feels how heavy the burden can be. She didn’t have a normal childhood and she’s fine with it for the most part, but it alienates her from most of her peers-- she never got to date anyone, never had a close group of friends, never went to parties that weren’t formals, etc., while she feels a little childish about it, she does envy ‘normal’ and understands the pressure she’s lived under her entire life has caused damage-- she has been exploited for her abilities, there’s just not much she can do about it but to keep going, rlly.

5. Freaks - Surf Curse  don't kill me / just help me run away from everyone  i need a place to stay / where i can cover up my face don't cry / i am just a freak / i am just a freak UhhhHHH this song really makes me think of Oliver Collins :D;; thank TikTok for showing it to me. It makes me think of how scared he was, of both the world and the revenants who captured him. The song’s use of the word ‘parasites’ really makes me think of Revenants and the BOR parasites XD I’m hoping when I poke my video editor again, I can record some Oliver footage to make a short video to this song. Oliver deserves so much better, I wish you could save him, but that’s what AUs are for, hahah.... The second half of the lyrics make me think of the AU I have where he lives and has to grapple with the guilt of surviving and the things he did to other revenants to get by too.

6. All Eyes On Me - Bo Burnham you say the ocean’s rising / like i give a shit you say the whole world’s ending / honey it already did you’re not gonna slow it / heaven knows you tried got it? good / now get inside I haven’t seen the Netflix special yet but I’ve had this song on repeat since my move started. The lyrics hit too hard & resonate with my existential dread, covid exhaustion, and extreme burnout in my 20s, but bc I have Damage I can also relate it to CV ._. ‘you’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried. got it? good now get inside’ makes me think of--;; the bad end route again, and Elizabeth’s desperation to keep her found family together. It’s not like her to completely stop caring about an issue, but in the moment she realizes what’s being taken from her? She doesn’t want to save all of revenant-kind if it means she’s going to wind up alone all over again, her world is effectively over if she’s forced to be alone again. The MC frenzying means the only immediately identifiable hope she had of saving everyone else is gone, so why not just go home? If they’re all doomed, she wants to at least be together for a little while longer, it’s fine if they use her blood to survive & everyone else in the mist is out of luck, it’s soul-crushing bc I’ve never had her in a situation where she’s been this reckless, despondent/hopeless, and thinking irrationally where it’d impact more than herself-- especially when she’s normally goal-oriented, organized, meticulous, so on so forth: she’s not one to act without thinking something through first, but that last breath of light just got sucker-punched out of her. All she wants is home, comfort, and family, and ultimately in the bad end route she does manage to preserve their lives, maintain the mist, and supply blood beads, but her own condition leaves her on the throne-- it’s a mix of the bad, neutral, and true ending rlly ldkfjdf BUT YEAH enough rambling on that :D;; This song’s really good and touches a lot of different thoughts and ideas both in real life and my ocs, kind of embarrassing--;; thank u bo burnham for ruining me with this beautiful song

7. Yellow - Coldplay look at the stars / look how they shine for you / and everything you do your skin / oh yeah, your skin and bones / turn in to something beautiful do you know / for you I'd bleed myself dry Does this song make me think about JackEva? Yes. Yes it does. Star / night sky symbolism? Bam. Sappy lyrics about love and finding the person you’re with absolutely mesmerizing and worth dying for? BAM. If JackEva were capable of using their own blood to save each other, I can see it-- hJNGn they just care about each other so much, Jack cries for her even though they both knew that eventually one of them would succumb to their duty, and if the roles were reversed I can see Eva doing the same, I adore them beyond human language. On my CV RP blog, my Jack’s not shippable bc-- Eva, my friend even have them looking after his nephew (an oc--) at one point. I should seriously drop some headcanons down eventually....

8. Louder Than Thunder - The Devil Wears Prada  are we meant to be empty-handed? / i know i could, i could be better i don't think i deserve it / selflessness, find your way into my heart all stars could be brighter / all hearts could be warmer 

LMFAO throwback to my middle school playlist, I’m old-- I’ve applied this song to a lot of things back in the day, but I really connect it to Loubeth now, especially Louis. Lou & Bethy are both functional idiots who are too hard on themselves & have trouble recognizing their worth beyond what they can do for others. They’re trying to be better-- to make up for what they perceived wrongs they’ve done, but it’s hard, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the love and support the other gives, but they still yearn for that sense of security. After Louis’ memories are returned, he finally understands the guilt he’s felt since he became a revenant and it really skews his self-perception; he blames himself for so many things & Elizabeth, who has always been able to kill when necessary, sets it straight-- “It’s not your fault”, and it takes Louis some time to properly absorb that message. He thinks she’s just trying to comfort him, which she is tbh, but she’s not wrong: “It’s not your fault you couldn’t kill someone. It was never your job to kill anyone.” It’s up to people like her to do those sort of things-- Elizabeth may not have been present when Cruz frenzied, but if she had been? It would have been over before it started, that’s something she has regrets over, even if nothing could have been done since she was already on the field. Actually, she’s actually really quite angry that security failed to monitor Cruz properly and has a few select words for the ones there who could have actually done something before it got out of hand-- civilians and doctors are exempt from her shtlist bc they’re not meant to be killers (so don’t worry Artorias, she’s not ready to bite your head off!), but they had to have some kinda security detail rite o-q??? They’re probably hiding from her wrath-- BUT ANYWAY, she insists she’ll never blame Louis for not being able to do something as serious as killing another person. He was a normal human being who cared about his friend, not a failure, and he couldn’t have been expected to do something that shouldn’t have fallen on his shoulders in the first place. As many times as it takes, she’ll reaffirm that it wasn’t his fault, she’s not angry, he’s always done his best and her opinion of him hasn’t changed. He’s a good person and she loves him through all the hurt, though she doesn’t drop the word ‘love’ for a long time. It just-- takes Louis a while to accept she views him as someone worthy of the love and respect she has for him. It’s kind of ironic she’s so adamant on Louis not blaming himself considering she’s the one privately blaming herself for-- wow there’s too much to unpack, she feels guilty she was even born?? im so broken over these two. I love them and yet they SUFFER... 

9. What I’ve Done - Linkin Park i'll face myself / to cross out what i’ve become erase myself / and let go of what i’ve done today this ends / i'm forgiving what i’ve done

I have Louis Amamiya brainrot and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks that this song fits him super well & it needs to become an AMV dsjfkldsfd. I’m a near life-long Linkin Park fan and this fits with Lou so well thematically. As much as I’ve gone on about Louis’ guilt, he does steel himself to keep going forward in spite of it and make things right, for everyone. Maybe it wasn’t really his fault, but at the end of the day his inability to kill Cruz in that moment left a disaster in its wake that got a countless number of people killed-- the MC included with Karen and Aurora. He doesn’t want to run away from the truth, doesn’t want to make excuses, he wants to take responsibility for it and he’ll work himself to death if it means things will be better-- it’s both admirable he’s got a strong resolve and VERY concerning with how willing he is to die for the cause, please don’t overdo it, Lou, you’ll break mine and Bethy’s hearts ._.;; It won’t always be easy, there are moments the grief gnaws at him, but in the end he does overcome it (and uh. as in the bad ending, we know he can actually do it this time). I know we can’t see everything, but I would have loved deeper character interactions, especially with Louis with an emphasis on grieving + forgiving himself properly-- but this song really is nice with the whole ‘I’m going to face my mistakes head on, forgive myself, and keep moving forward’. It’s what Louis deserves: self forgiveness and a damn break ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

10. Call of Silence - Hiroyuki Sawano you will know you're reborn tonight / must be rough but i’ll stay by your side even if my body's bleached to the bones / i don't want go through that ever again so cry no more / oh my beloved ngl idk if those are the correct lyrics, buuuuuuut....... im a weenie and am internally weeping abt loubeth after midnight, what else is new lmfao- i’ll at least try to be brief :D I also used to really like Attack on Titan when I was in high school, I dropped the anime years ago because I was waiting for s2 and never got back to it once it started airing again, I thought I’d finish it once the anime was complete since I eventually caught up with the manga, such a good series BUT ANYWAY-- I think it’s a really pretty song and Loubeth fit with the tender lyrics. IT’S LATE, idk what to say about them other than what I’ve said already dsklfjdslf im sorry I really ramble a LOT and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had the chance to >w>;;

[mydearjonah]

jenni’s TMA fic recs

for Elena @wellbustmybuffers but also anyone who wants it. 

i have spent a lot of time reading fanfiction, and i have read (at this point) almost everything that has piqued my interest in the tma ao3 tag from it’s inception to roughly july 18th, 2020. this is an absolutely non-exhaustive list of my all-time favorites. i tried to pick the things that stuck in my mind the best. it is also heavily skewed, naturally, by my own personal preferences.

to see all that i have bookmarked (as well as my own work), go here. i stand by all of these fics & only bookmark if i was really impressed with something. 

i marked the ones that i rec the absolute STRONGEST with a star.

jonmartin

☆ A Measure Outside of the Lines by Rend_Herring; https://archiveofourown.org/works/22202806  

imo i consider this to be THE scottish safehouse period fic. scottish safe-house period is a great sub-genre of jonmartin fic that i highly rec to you, elena, especially if you’re just coming off of 159, and this is my favorite and the one that i feel captures their personalities and dynamic the best. highly, highly recommend; one of my top three favorites in the whole fandom. 

Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey; https://archiveofourown.org/works/22230022/chapters/53078617 

“Post-season-four Jon and Martin time travel back to the season one Archives.” 

extremely well-written jonmartin timetravel shenanigans pining. really, really good jonmartin content. i would describe the genre as “time travel fix-it au romantic comedy.”

take sides in divided cells by bibliocratic; https://archiveofourown.org/works/22456720 

“Martin's father comes back into his life.“ 

post-series 5 jonmartin happily ever after set-up that allows the author to delve deeply into martin’s psyche. fanfiction at it’s finest. 

Dethroned by inkedinserendipity; https://archiveofourown.org/works/22342663 

post-series take. warning for major character death. this is peak well-written yet sad & indulgent angst-y jonmartin. 

Be Your Raincoat by free_smarcher; https://archiveofourown.org/works/23479480

“It's a rainy night at the tail end of 2013, and Arctic Monkeys' latest record is everywhere - including at the pub where a young Martin Blackwood is hung up on his coworker from the Institute.” 

pre-series oneshot that i adore for three reasons. 1) the jonmartin pining is absolutely excellent, in-character, gorgeous, 2) the author has a very sharp grasp on martin blackwood specifically that i think is rare in the fandom and 3) the author PERFECTLY captured the late 2013 Arctic Monkeys perpetual AM album zeitgeist in a way that makes me specifically feel SUPER nostalgic. 

The Watford Gap by chewsdaychillin; https://archiveofourown.org/works/24886216

“a Martin and his relationship w the og three study w class/accent discourse, pet names, slang, and tenderness. jonmartin north/south power couple“

pre-series oneshot jonmartin pining that i cannot recommend enough. author has an extremely good grasp on s1 characterization as well as british sociocultural realities. this fic makes me very emotional for a lot of reasons. 

jonmartin but with heavy monster!jon (and written before s5 aired so speculative as to the endgame plot--still rec tho if you like monster!jon)

☆ ceylon, assam, and darjeeling by Sciosa; https://archiveofourown.org/works/20577347/chapters/48849719 

“People do not bring Jonathon Sims tea. Martin Blackwood, newly-minted archival assistant, has apparently not received this memo.”

i absolutely cannot express how much i adore this fic. it’s a three-parter that follows the jm relationship as it develops through the lens of martin making jon tea. the final part is the real whammy. i have read this fic repeatedly and cried each time.

Fall into the night with you by ZaliaChimera; https://archiveofourown.org/works/19851157 

“It's the end of the world, and Martin has one more thing to do before it is the end of him too. There is a calm wrapped thickly around the Institute, the eye of the storm, and Martin climbs.“

for me, this is the absolute peak monster!jon/martin. i will not lie, you gotta heed the warnings on this fic. but the end of this fic haunts me. 

lonely eyes

a note: i LOVE lonely eyes but a lot of it is really smutty or slice of life. i tried to choose the fics that i thought captured both characters the best and were smart & intentional about the dynamic. elena, if u ever go down the lonely eyes road & are interested in other recs, please let me know!

☆ Luck Be A Lady Tonight by prodigy; https://archiveofourown.org/works/20257240 

“In 2014, Elias Bouchard takes a rare trip outside of his comfort zone. Peter Lukas wastes a bunch of money. You'd be surprised how many things can go wrong for two beings of cosmic power.”

this is a black comedy casino episode lonely eyes take that is one of my favorite pieces of work in this fandom and also, honestly, one of my favorite pieces of fiction straight up that i have ever read. prodigy has an extremely sharp grasp on both peter and elias (but especially peter), and they breathe life into the world of mag in a way that is absolutely unparalleled, even at times by the original series imo. 

walled up in your kingdom with radio wires by Ronabird; https://archiveofourown.org/works/24465679 

so i’m not gonna lie i’ve never read His Dark Materials but this is a daemon au that i just can’t get enough of. it’s a short lonely eyes piece; the basic gist of it is that peter has lost a bet and now jonah gets to meet his daemon. this fic has everything that i want and rarely get in lonely eyes works: statements on both peter and jonah’s characters, and their dynamic sharply written. again, the last lines of this piece have stayed with me as well. 

jonelias (i’m sorry...)

note: none of these are terribly explicit but instead largely it is about their dynamic. 

a fish hook, an open eye by marrowbones; https://archiveofourown.org/works/22351618 

“Jon and Martin take a surreal holiday after escaping the Lonely. Everything would be fine if only Jon's strange dreams of Jonah Magnus would stop.”

this is a jonmartin fic in equal turn. set during the scottish safehouse period. essentially, jon is trying to reconcile that fact that elias is jonah while also being visited by him in his dreams. this is one of the first jonelias fics written after the “elias is jonah magnus” reveal, and i think it is still one of the absolute best. the author does a phenomenal job capturing this looming, atmospheric sense of dread. they also totally nail jonah magnus and the jonelias dynamic. 

thieves in the temple by havisham; https://archiveofourown.org/works/23287711 

“Elias wins and takes Jon out on the town.“

very short; shares a lot of the same dna as a fish hook, an open eye. essentially a dream-state meeting between the two of them during early s5. “a perfect fic.”

Eye to Eye by Dribbledscribbles; https://archiveofourown.org/works/24194554 

“In which Jonah Magnus attempts a post-apocalyptic pep talk.“

a s5 pep talk from jonah, who the author absolutely NAILS, to jon. this is not a fic with a happy ending so be warned. but it is a very satisfying read and the ending is... not quite a twist, but a really well done, dark reveal. 

heterochromia by screechfox; https://archiveofourown.org/works/21186011 

“After Jon drags Martin out of the Lonely, Jon and Elias trade an eye for an eye. Quite literally.“

post-ep 159. this is basically a jonmartinelias fic, honestly. i am adding this here because i love it SO MUCH but also it is so intensely up my particular alley. hurt/comfort/angst. also GORE AND BODY HORROR. but it wraps up to be weirdly sweet. i cry every time ngl i’ve read this fic a lot. it’s because i’m a monsterfucker i’m sorry. 

a love that tastes like spring by sugarboat; https://archiveofourown.org/works/20189953 

this is a comically well-written jonelias hanahaki fanfic. that’s it. that’s the plot. it’s amazing. it’s basically a shojo oneshot except with in-character jon and elias. this is one of the first fics i read in this fandom that totally blew me away. 

stand-alones/gen/other

☆ The Timeline of the Theseus by Applea; https://archiveofourown.org/works/24018289/chapters/57784525 

“Jon tries to force the Spiral to send him back, but the Sprial's corridors never twist things quite the way you want them to. Back in 1996, Elias has no idea why or how the Eye made such a powerful Avatar out of an 8 year old, especially when said 8 year old doesn't actually know he has any powers at all. Clearly such a child cannot be left outside the Institute's care.”

i absolutely cannot say enough about this fic. this is one of the few works of fiction i’ve read in my life that i was so obsessed with i genuinely ruined my sleep schedule to finish. this fic is absolutely HILARIOUS. essentially, jon is an extremely powerful 8 year old w/ no knowledge of who he is who is being raised by jonah, who is completely out of his depth. also has a nice touch of gertrudeagnes & the author really nails their dynamic/the tragedy of their relationship...

☆ Scarred Ground by DictionaryWrites; https://archiveofourown.org/works/21791737/chapters/51999124 

this is a really interesting work of fiction just generally. it features a non-linear narrative, plays with a lot of unreality, and has a great deal of time wonkiness. i actually can’t explain the plot without giving it away, which i resolutely do not want to do because piecing together what is going on is a huge part of the fun. martin is the primary character, but everyone is featured. jonmartin and lonely eyes are the two ships. one of my favorite works in the fandom.

the last lines/final reveal absolutely tore me apart. i cried like a baby. 

patterns by fadewords; https://archiveofourown.org/works/22015792 

“Jon is ill and can't stop Knowing things. Daisy helps.“

long and worth it. very well-written. the author is very talented and essentially uses the world/set up of mag and the beholding to play. set during s4. everyone is extremely in character. 

out in the drowning deep by Wildehack; https://archiveofourown.org/works/21473506 

“Basira holds it together.”

basira-centric s5 speculative fic. it has since been jossed but that’s no matter. this is one of the best basira fics in the fandom imo, and honestly the only one that i’ve read that i feel really nails her character and her relationship with daisy specifically. in general as well, this is a really fun speculative take on the apocalypse written before s5 aired. 

Chasm-e-Baddoor by kashinoha; https://archiveofourown.org/works/23917396/chapters/57510853 

“Wherein Jonah Magnus gets acquainted with defeat at the hands of his associates. Repeatedly.”

lonely eyes a little but overall gen. essentially just a very well-written 3 piece suite about instances over the course of jonah magnus’ long life when he gets absolutely schooled by people within it. the gertrude piece is my favorite, to the point where i consider it canon. 

And All Should Cry, Beware! Beware! by OldSwinburne; https://archiveofourown.org/works/24623179/

“When the Eye decides to select a new Avatar, it chooses Martin Blackwood, the Poet, rather than Jonathan Sims, the Archivist.“

very unique & well-written monster!martin that haunts me. 

avatar groupchat by gayprophets; https://archiveofourown.org/works/21599185/chapters/51501598 

fun gen popular chatfic. one of the only chatfics i’ve ever read where everyone is in character. a must-read in the fandom. lots of laughs to be had. i like that they bully elias. 

this is really just the surface!! there’s A LOT that’s still on my to-read list, and also obviously a lot of new and probably phenomenal work has been published since july 18th that i have to catch up on. i hope that you enjoy!!! i love fanfiction and there’s a lot of really unique and fun stuff in this fandom

[ernmark]

heyo!!! m sorry to bother, and I understand if it would be too much work, but would u mind recapping what happened between Juno and Peter? I have pretty bad memory problems and no time to listen to it all again like i wanna, so i’m just sad for boys but also confused lmao

It’s not a bother at all!

(Actually, it’s a whole lot easier for me to write a post like this than to do original writing, so I’m especially happy to do it).

If you have any questions or need any clarification, just let me know and I’d be happy to elaborate!

So a super quick review of Juno and Peter’s history together:

Juno Steel and the Murderous Mask:

Peter was hired by a deranged Xenoanthropologist-turned-Martian-Furry named Miasma to steal an Ancient Martian death mask from a local mob/reality TV family, the Kanagawas. When his first attempt was thwarted by a murder, he returned to the scene of the crime disguised as Agent Rex Glass of Dark Matters (the Solar System’s super shady FBI organization), but the Kanagawas would only let him near the crime scene if he was accompanied by Juno. 

Lots and lots of flirtation was had. They were trapped in a closet together, Peter punched Juno down a hallway at Juno’s request, they fought off a bunch of genetically engineered monsters together, Juno took a pretty nasty hit for Peter, and Peter tenderly stitched him up while making a teasing remark about “playing doctor”. During all of this, Juno quietly deduced the truth about the real murderer, and about Peter’s role as the original thief of the mask. In the big parlor scene at the end, they worked together to subdue the murderer. 

Peter then persuaded Juno to take him back to his apartment, probably fully intending to bed him and then sneak out with the mask during the night. He pulled Juno into a kiss, sneaking the keys to Juno’s safe (where the mask was kept) out of his coat while Juno was distracted. Unfortunately for him, Juno wasn’t distracted. He’d figured out Peter’s game a while ago, and used Peter’s distraction to get him into handcuffs and call the cops.

Peter wasn’t fazed by any of this (more turned on, really), and so he offered to run away with Juno, so the two of them could go adventuring together. Juno refused and let the cops take him away. When he was gone, he found a note left behind, in which Peter assured him that he really did want them to run away together, and signed it “your better half, Peter Nureyev”. He then made his escape.

Juno Steel and the Midnight Fox:

This is the latest of several episodes in which Peter has been stealing artifacts for Miasma and Juno has been hunting the two of them down, over the course of which Juno swallowed a Martian pill that gave him very costly mind-reading powers. 

After all his leads dried up, Juno went to a local art smuggler, Valles Vicky, and did a case for her in exchange for help from one of her contacts. At the end of the case she called the contact, and it turned out to be Peter. Peter made his entrance by breaking into Juno’s apartment and waiting for him to turn on the light before he announced himself, because he’s dramatic like that, and then dragged Juno off on another adventure.

His first words to Juno since Murderous Mask: “Hello, Juno. It’s been a while.”

Juno Steel and the Train from Nowhere:

They drove directly from Juno’s apartment to the Oasis Casino in the middle of the desert, where Peter had an appointment to play a high-stakes game of Ragnian Street Poker with retired hack jewel thief Brock Engstrom. In order to get Juno in the room with Engstrom and his bodyguard, Nuryev introduced the two of them as Duke and Dahlia Rose, a husband-and-husband duo of bright-eyed jewel thieves from the Outer Rim. He even bought Juno a lovely suit as part of the disguise, which Juno took particular offense to. 

Peter and Engstrom gambled secrets, with the stakes being that Juno would be killed if Peter lied about any of the secrets he revealed. Juno took offense to that, too, but Peter insisted that he would give up all his own secrets and weaknesses before he let that happen. 

After some further surliness and poor communication skills between the two of them, Juno figured out that Engstrom was cheating, and together they were able to force Engstrom to reveal the secret of the Utgard Express high-speed vault.

Things were going great and they were heading back to their shared hotel room with a questionable number of beds, but Juno had to be Juno and he accused Peter of taking secret orders to murder him. Peter pointed out that the “secret orders” were in fact very bad doodles, and that Juno was being a jackass, and he went to bed.

That night, an assassin tried to murder them, so the two of them had to make a break for it, and they wound up stealing Engstrom’s car, the Ruby 7 (previously owned by Jet Siquiliak of the Pirate Crew). They made it onto the Utgard Express, but were caught by Brock Engstrom and his bodyguard in the process. More adventures were had, more flirting happened, and Engstrom’s bodyguard made Juno especially nervous about his feelings for Peter. So as soon as the two of them were defeated and our heroes stole what they needed to get, Juno lashed out and tried to distance himself again. 

Just as they were making their escape, they found themselves cornered by Miasma, who had hijacked the Ruby 7 for herself. She ordered Juno into the car at gunpoint, and then intended to murder Peter and leave him in the desert to rot. Using his very painful mind-reading powers, Juno realized that she needed him alive, so he threatened to kill himself if she harmed Peter. Miasma agreed to let Peter live, but to bring him with them as leverage over Juno.

Peter Nureyev and the Angel of Brahma:

Miasma took Juno and Peter to an Ancient Martian tomb deep underground, where she’d set up a lab and bunker. There she proceeded to force Juno to probe Peter’s mind for multiple tests of his (very, very painful) mind reading powers. Peter often insisted that Juno take time to rest, but Miasma tortured Peter during these lulls in order to motivate Juno to continue. Typically Juno worked himself until he lost consciousness, and then they’d be dragged back to their cell.

This continued for somewhere between days and weeks. 

When Miasma got dissatisfied with Juno’s progress, she forced him to go into Peter’s memories, where he witnessed Peter murdering Mag. This seriously freaked him out, but Miasma insisted that he continue or else she would start cutting off bits of Peter for motivation. Juno relented, and kept watching until he passed out.

When Juno woke up, he was messed up by what he’d seen, but wasn’t ready to talk about it. Peter asked him why he’d never bothered to look into his backstory before, and Juno admitted that he was afraid of what he’d find. Peter insisted that he look into Peter’s memories now and see it for himself, and he could make his decisions about Peter then– whether Peter was worth his time, or whether they would part forever after all this was over. Juno nervously agreed, and he looked back into Peter’s mind on his own terms (while holding hands with Peter. I feel this is important.)

He witnessed the events on Brahma, where teenage Peter and his adopted father Mag attempted to stop the tyrannical leaders on New Kinshasa from murdering petty criminals with their flying laser city of death. They infiltrated New Kinshasa as Mag and Peter Ransom and made their way to the reactor core of the city, and got as far as stealing it… only in the process, Peter learned that disabling the city’s lasers would also wind up killing everyone in the city, and mass murder was really not something he was okay with. During the argument, Mag revealed that he’d been lying about all the things he’d said to motivate Peter– he’d say whatever was necessary to win Peter over to his cause. Peter was horrified and demanded Mag give back the reactor core. When Mag refused, Peter murdered him and replaced the reactor core, saving the people of New Kinshasa. He was caught in the act and identified as Peter Nureyev, and he used his capture to essentially hold the entire city hostage, threatening to bring it down if they continued their reign of terror. He then made his escape, but his true name was forever linked to the ransom of New Kinshasa.

During all of this, Juno went too deep and was having some major health complications, and Peter panicked and called the guards for help. After they assured him that Juno was okay, he knocked them out (killed them?) and attempted to drag Juno out, but Juno was too heavy to carry and in too much pain to leave under his own power. Peter made his own escape, swearing to return for Juno.

Juno Steel and the Final Resting Place

Miasma got what she needed from Juno, and she decided to finally execute him. At the last second, Peter (disguised as one of Miasma’s minions), shot her and the other minion and rescued Juno in a very heroic fashion. 

Together they ventured deeper into the tomb in order to find one of Miasma’s artifacts, the bomb that wiped out the Ancient Martians, so that they could destroy it. Once they got inside, though, they found Miasma there, mysteriously still alive. Turns out she’d spliced herself with Ancient Martian DNA, and was now effectively immortal and a whole lot more eldritch. 

They fought her, all the while figuring out her plan: she was going to hide in the bunker alone and use the bomb to wipe out all other life on Mars, because she’s charming like that. 

The bomb’s countdown was triggered, and Juno dove into Miasma’s memories in order to find out how to deactivate it. He pushed himself too hard, though, and his mind-reading powers destroyed his right eye in the process. He did, however, come up with a plan. He pushed Peter out the airlock and locked himself and Miasma inside with the bomb, keeping her away from it so she couldn’t escape or get rid of the bomb. While Peter desperately begged Juno to open the door, Juno admitted that Peter was the best thing that ever happened to him, and that his one regret was not taking Peter up on his offer to run away together. 

The bomb went off, and Miasma was killed. Juno, however, wasn’t: the bomb was only meant to kill Ancient Martians, as a form of mass suicide for their hive mind species, and had no effect on humans. Juno, who was more than suicidal at this point and wanted nothing more than to go out with a big heroic blaze of glory, was in shock that his last hurrah was taken from him. And also in shock about literally everything else that had happened to him in the past week.

Peter kissed him, took him back to a clinic (unfortunately, they couldn’t save Juno’s eye), and then back to a hotel in Hyperion City. He acknowledged that Juno had said what he had in the heat of the moment, and he didn’t have to go with Peter if he didn’t want to. Juno assured him that he did want to (oddly specific wording on his part). Overjoyed, Peter took Juno to bed, and a sexy time was had by all.

Afterward, Juno stayed up to watch Peter sleep, then rolled out of bed, put his clothes on, and walked back into his office. On his way out, he heard Peter murmur his name in his sleep, content that he and Juno would embark on their grand adventure in the morning. 

[expensivebooks]

A COURT OF FROST AND STARLIGHT REVIEW(SPOILER)

Hey guys!! This is so late but here’s my opinion on the novella of the ACOTAR series. I am currently reading Kingdom of Ash so hopefully I’ll quickly post my kingdom of ash review even though its a bit weird since I haven’t posted any throne of glass reviews but Enjoy it!!!

If I am going to be honest, I enjoyed this book. I know a lot of people was disappointed because it was all Feyre and Rhysand but I liked the domestic vibes A Court of Frost and Starlight gave. There is not really much to talk about for the plot because there was practically no plot (just shopping). But it brought nice and calm domestic perspective for all of the characters, which we don’t get a lot. Overall, it was quite an enjoyable book I guess? I wasn’t expecting much anyways. But let me say NESTA FREAKING ACHERON stole the book. I don’t know why but I felt for her so much especially in the last chapter.

“I painted and painted and painted”

This summed up all of Feyre’s chapters. Feyre’s perspective was nice but whenever it was someone else’s POV I was so much more excited to read it? It was probably because in every Feyre pov, she’s just talking about painting? I know it was a way of her to move on but it was too much. Does SJM really have to show us Feyre debating about whether she should paint EVERY SINGLE TIME? I didn’t really like all the painting parts, I just thought it was unnecessary but tbh this whole book was unnecessary other than telling us that there’s going to be a new series.

“And what, exactly, does this Band of Exiles plan to do? Host events? Organize party-planning committees?”

This scene. THIS FREAKING SCENE. This made me dislike Feyre, honestly throughout this series, Lucien was always a misunderstood character with no one beside him. Especially since the last book, he didn’t have Tamlin anymore, everyone in the night court hated him (he deserved that) and his mate rejects him. But he didn’t deserve anything of what Feyre threw at him in his scene. Honestly, what was Feyre expecting from him, to stay in Velaris and sulk while they all hated him? After everything he went through with losing his whole future, he finally found good people he considers as family and Feyre had the audacity to mock his new family and him? I was shocked and disgusted she could have Tamlin but I never had any ill feelings for him. Because he was siding with his best and only friend and they both had nothing without each other. The worst part is that Feyre knew that, she knows the deep bond they both have and know she’s shoving that fact in his face.

“Do you think she’ll forgive me?”

This scene was the first time I truly understood that after everything Tamlin never wanted things to escalate this far. He loved Feyre in a way that was toxic for him and Feyre, and it was best for him to let Feyre go and start anew. I am not defending his actions because they were terrible but I can at least say that Tamlin has a big heart. And while Feyre may have shredded it, it was his fault for his down bringing. Tamlin’s really just the ex that you feel sorry for really, every time I read about him my heart just moves a bit for him.

“But Azriel only took Elain’s heavy dish of potatoes from her hands, his voice soft as night as he said, ‘Sit. I’ll take care of it.’”

This was one of the weirdest things in the book. Strangely, SJM is kinda like shipping Az with Elain? Like what is that? I do ship them but I think Az deserves his own mate, but they still cute. Actually I really ship them but it’s just weird. Why is SJM confusing my poor shipper heart? I guess she’s trying to make a new couple where they don’t have to be mates? Or maybe I am reading too into it? Is it just me? Idk? Was I the only one expecting more from Elain? I thought by now she would at least stop being moody and actually interact with people normally. Not just coming in to politely say hi then disappearing but hopefully she’ll bloom and open up in the next books.

“You are over five hundred years old, she often reminded herself”

I had to remind myself that too. SJM butchered Mor, like wth what happened to our confident, sarcastic, fun girl? Her whole POV was totally useless because SJM just repeats what she’s been through exactly how she explained it in the last three books. There wasn’t anything I didn’t already know when I was reading her perspective. It was ridiculous and she had two chapters just to show her insecurities towards her father and Elis. At first, I was so excited to finally have a perspective of Mor but honestly I expected more than just a retelling of her story. It was nice when she flashback to her past when her father left her nailed and Eris just left her, but that was it. I am just disappointed that SJM didn’t go into detail of how she overcame that and became who she was. 

“Shattering”

I swear to god if I have to read one more sex scene from SJM where the word shattering appears one more time, help me God. Why is it shattering? Like I get it, they’re having sex, it’s great but wth? I already knew this series was practically fifty shades of gray with all the smut but this took it to a whole other level. At least the other books had some sort of plot but now Feyre and Rhysand can freely unleash their pent up sexual frustration. Half of this book was about them wanting to fuck each other, its well, not romantic in a sense. Honestly, SJM should just avoid sex scenes if she’s going to put words like shattering in it.

“The sex had destroyed me”

Well, that summed up about 80% of Rhysand’s POV because it was ALL ABOUT A HORNY TEENAGER. I get it they’re in love, but I don’t need to know exactly which walls or furniture they fucked on. But I got to admit Rhysand’s POV brought the practically non-existent plot- the Illyrians. I guess their building on to the next series and I am praying that Cassian and Nesta can keep it down and not be all over each other(which is probably not going to happen because their sexual tension is 10 times thicker than Feyre and Rhysand). I am also interested as how Rhysand will be perceived in Nesta’s POV as we only see him from people he loves.

Nesta. What can I say about Nesta. I’ve never felt so much angst from one character before. She’s hurt, dark and might I say jealous too. How she can’t express her feelings to just anyone and hates to feel vulnerable. I am very interested to see how her story will go, with training with the Illyrians to battling her fears and even falling in love with Cassian(she probs is already). For me, SJM did a perfect job of showing how people have different methods to cope with loss and trauma and she captured Nesta’s pain amazingly. I felt so much for Nesta that sometimes I hated everyone for just leaving her there to suffer alone even though they tried to include her. I could understand her because even though she’s Feyre’s sister, she couldn’t be like Elain, she couldn’t suddenly just accept her situation just because the war ended she need time to mourn for her father and herself. Of the life that was stolen away from her and Elain. Feyre did went through the same process from turning human to high fae but she was given her powers as a gift while Elain and Nesta was forced and taken from them and they were thrust to a surroundings with unfamiliar faces and things force on them(mates). So I’ll always feel more towards Elain and Nesta because they’ve both been through so much and they deserve the best. 

Overall, I’ll miss Rhysand and Feyre but this was a good farewell and a start to something new so let’s say our goodbyes to our amazing and strong couple to welcome a new one.

“To the stars who listen, Feyre.

To the dreams that are answered, Rhys.” 

[nananaptime]

Hi! Can I request a slightly angsty NCT Dream reaction where they're about to confess to you but one of the hyungs from 127 or U do it first and you say yes?

Late confession

I changed it up a bit so that you were already dating one of the other members for some reactions, I hope you like it anyway :)

Renjun’s got longer than the others’ and I don’t know why xD

MasterlistRules

Mark

Mark was nervous, really nervous as he paced around the practice room, knowing that you’d walk through the door any minute now. He had since a couple of days ago, declared himself dumb as he had yet to confess his feelings for you even though you were as close as ever. That was probably one of the reasons as to why he hadn’t yet though, he didn’t want to ruin what you two already had. Around him, the rest of the group was fooling around with each other as they had just taken a break from practising black on black, because of the volume in the room, Mark didn’t hear the door opening and you making your presence known, he was too emerged in his own mind and nerves. It was first when yukhei exclaimed your name and engulfed you in a big bear hug. Mark thought nothing of it at first, seeing as you and Yukhei also were close and hugged each other on a daily basis, however, once he heard what Yukhei was talking to you about he felt his blood leave his face. No, no, no, Yukhei can’t have gotten to you first, that was something Mark hadn’t even thought was a possibility, but once he saw you happily nodding and then again hug Yukhei close to you, he had to get out of there. Pushing past his members, he passed you without even as much as a glance, only to return later when you were no longer there.

Source

Renjun

Playing has always been yours and Renjun’s thing and you had always had the same bet on who would win, the loser would have to do one thing the winner wished, no matter what it was. Tonight, you were engaged in a game of “Go Fish” and let me tell you, it was not going well for you tonight. A groan escaped your lips as he added his fifth pair to his pile while you had yet to gain any at all. A smug grin playing on his lips, he teased you lightly, telling you that you could give up already and save yourself some time but you were stubborn and demanded the game to be played until the end. He chuckled at your persistence but continued playing and as he had foreseen, he won with four pairs more than you. You collected all the cards and muttered that you weren’t good with games where you were supposed to collect cards rather than get rid of them. Renjun laughed at your excuses and when you were done, didn’t hesitate to claim his award. As you waited for him to tell you what to do, he thought for a moment and decided to seize the chance to come clean about his feelings. Not once did he expect your face to fall and be replaced by a guilty one once you heard his request for a date. He had a feeling he was about to hear the worst but never did he expect that to be that you were dating one of his members already, especially Sicheng. You apologized for not telling him earlier as he slumped back in his chair with an unbelievable expression on his face, he felt hurt by both you and Sicheng for not letting him know of this earlier, especially since he thought he had been obvious with his own feelings. Getting himself together, he forced a smile and said that then he wanted you to do the dishes for him instead, a request he had asked of you many times, and as your face lit up, thinking you were good, the pain was still sinking into Renjun’s chest.

Source

Jeno

To say Jeno was happy seeing you bounce up to him with a big grin on your face would be an understatement. His signature smile graced his lips as his eyes turned thin, small lines forming under them as his skin stretched along. You jumped into his arms, exclaiming that you had great news and hoping that he was free that following Saturday. He nodded, letting you know that he was and hoping that you were going to ask him what he had been too scared to ask you all the years he’d known you. With an even happier squeal coming from you, you told him that he should meet up with you outside your favourite restaurant and, thinking you were asking him out, he happily agreed as you started walking along the corridors of the school. You went on to talk about what food you wanted to get and how Saturdays were the best day to eat there and as you rambled on, Jeno couldn’t help but think how lucky he was having you there by his side at that moment. It was as you started mentioning other names that he grew confused and asked you what you were talking about. You turned to him and happily announced that you were setting him up on a date with another person and that they would be going on a double date with you and Doyoung. Jeno suddenly couldn’t find his words and you took his silence for agreeing as you continued talking about your plans, completely oblivious to the pain he was currently going through. He didn’t have the heart to tell you no and therefore he followed you with heavy shoulders and crushed heart.

Source

Donghyuck

Donghyuck’s face lit up in a big smile as you laughed at the story he just told you, hiding your smile with your hand, your giggle was like music to his ears. His only wish was to hear that same giggle every day for his whole life and he was dead set on making that wish come true and as your laugh slowly faded into nothingness, he decided that it was now or never. It was time to make his feelings known. As he said your name, capturing your attention, Jungwoo appeared in the doorway, requesting your presence. Slightly annoyed by the older’s interruption, Donghyuck let you leave the room, determined to not let this small bump stop him from pursuing the hard task he had put before himself. After ten minutes of being alone, he decided to see what was taking so long but he felt his heart fall as he entered the kitchen and saw you and Jungwoo holding hands. You, now confused at the loss of Donghyuck’s usual happy expression, asked him what was wrong, however, you got no answer due to Donghyuck’s attention being solemnly on Jungwoo, sadness and disappointment evident on his face. Jungwoo, feeling embarrassed and guilty, said nothing and before you could speak further, Donghyuck had left the dorm.

Source

Jaemin

One of Jaemin’s favourite things to do was going shopping with you, mostly because he could buy you stuff without you refusing and it almost felt like you were a couple even though he had yet found the courage to ask you about that matter. Instead, he settled with spoiling you whenever he could without having a label put in you. It had been like that for almost a year now and he felt the time had come to make you aware of the feelings gnawing at his heart. As you approached one of the many benches at the mall, he sat you down, ready for his heart to heart talk. Before he could start though, your phone rang and with an apologetic expression, you answered it with a big smile. Jaemin thought none of it other than he had to be a bit patient before trying again. You finally hung up the phone and turned to him, guilt showing in your eyes as you started to explain how you had to leave and how sorry you were. Jaemin, not wanting to make you feel worse, laughed your apologies of and joked about how there was no one more worthy of hanging out with than him. That’s when you told him about how it was Ten who had called and you had forgotten the date you had planned that day. At the word “date”, Jaemin instantly felt a lump in his throat as he realised he had been too late but now determined not to ruin anything for either of you, he forced a smile and encouraged you to go off and that you could finish shopping with you another time. He was more than happy that you didn’t see his inability of holding his tears back as you left.

Source

Chenle

Chenle was quick to grab his umbrella once he saw you through the café window without one and you were met with a very energized best friend trying to keep you dry from the heavy rain. As you walked inside and sat down Chenle couldn’t help but admire the way you looked even though you were soaking wet through your clothes. He started teasing you instead of actually complimenting you as that is just how he was, in return he got a small punch to the shoulder which he over exaggerated by moaning in pain afterwards. You ordered your beverages and desserts with the intention of becoming even more energized than you already were by getting a sugar rush, you felt bad for the rest of the boys who would have to deal with a sugar high Chenle later on but you decided that they could use the challenge. Through your friendly date, you laughed harder than you’d ever done before, it almost seems like Chenle always manages to get you in a better mood no matter how annoyed or sad you were. Chenle himself thought of that as his superpower and he loved seeing you happy and laugh, especially because of him, as this euphoria overcame him he hastily made the decision to take your relationship further but as he started to get into it he noticed you fiddle with a necklace he’d fail to notice before now. Asking when you got it, he for some reason dreaded the answer without knowing why but as you told him your boyfriend Jaehyun had given it to you he couldn’t believe his ears. He felt as if the world was crumbling around him and there was nothing he could do about it but determined not to let any of these emotions show he faked a smile and went about the conversation as he normally would, by being the supportive best friend.

Source

Jisung

Jisung had everything planned out and was going through it in his head over and over again as he waited for you to arrive at the dorms. You had known each other for quite a while and Jisung finally had enough of the friendly affection which he wanted to be fueled with other different feelings and intentions. Finally, the doorbell rang and he jumped up, eager to welcome you into the home you were so used to. Taeyong was currently in the kitchen, cooking what seemed to be some brunch, but Jisung didn’t mind the older member’s presence as he assumed him to be one of the more mature ones in this situation. Jisung sat you down on the couch and gave you a nervous smile as he racked his brain for the plan he had put together, now nowhere to be found. You noticed his odd behaviour and addressed it with slight concern, worried that he might be getting sick or something along that manner. He hastily started denying the presence of any negative emotions and, after a deep breath, tried telling you about his real feelings for you which have been hidden for a long time. As he struggled with getting his sentence together through the stuttering of words, Taeyong entered the room and gave a surprised sound as he wasn’t aware of your presence and to Jisung’s shock, engulfed you in a hug which he ended with a small peck to your lips. Jisung, now stunned and at a loss for words, sat there, staring at you as if the world had come crashing down. The fact that he couldn’t do anything about the situation was bad enough as Taeyong wasn’t only seven years older than him but also the leader, the fact that he could’ve stopped it if he confessed sooner was even worse.

Source

[reeses-picks]

Billie Eilish is pop’s newest wunderkind: WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? review

Billie Eilish is shaping up to be pop’s newest wunderkind, signed off on by the former titleholder herself. On a surprisingly well-crafted album, she makes a convincing case for herself as the voice of her generation. At its best, the album fine-tunes Eilish’s aesthetic and dismantles pop tropes, but the throughline of the LP is the often melodramatic teenage mind, which she approaches with consummate care.

★★★★★★★★☆☆

In a way, teen pop stars reflect the state of pop music of their time. The (largely female) teen music sensations of the aughts came from the likes of Disney Channel and Nickelodeon, and so they (or rather, their image) reflected the whims of corporations and industry big-leagues at the time: clean, unproblematic, uncomplicated role models. It explains why the narratives of these artists now, who have come to dominate the cultural zeitgeist, seem so incongruent with those from their past. Recent career-defining projects from Ariana Grande (Sweetener, thank u, next) and Demi Lovato (Tell Me You Love Me) render them unrecognizable from their earlier spotless identities; sexual liberation is a common theme, of course, but more interesting is their acknowledgement of cracks underneath the surface. The Jonas Brothers’ smashing comeback earlier this year is only made possible by the braggadocio that only sex can bring.

The pop machine remains entrenched to this day, but there are signs of a new force taking hold. Today’s rising stars come from YouTube and SoundCloud, predicated on actualizing the idea of freedom of expression, and altogether they reflect the democratization of pop music, if not of society as a whole, and the liberation that follows; without the presence of gatekeepers, they are forming their own image, completely unfazed by notions of commercial viability. Thus, Billie Eilish, the most recent SoundCloud find, mercifully relatively untouched by the machine, is nothing like the teen sensations of yore. For the past three years, she has carved out her own peculiar space, a space only those at the fringe would dare come close, and on her debut full-length LP, WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?, she fine-tunes that aesthetic with almost surgeon-like accuracy, but not by way of repackaging it more tastefully for the mainstream. It certainly sounds so at the beginning: most of “bad guy” sounds like a complete about-face, riffing on a melody that smacks of commercialized Halloween, almost like caricaturing her own aesthetic. But the album only properly begins in the song’s third act: a heavily slowed-down, bass-heavy, spoken-word section that is closer to her modus operandi. But it also works like a full-throated cackle -- “bitch, you thought” -- in the face of detractors, as if she can sense their sigh of relief (maybe she actually can). That stubborn self-assuredness and humorous self-awareness are just some of the things that make this album so enjoyable.

And so we enter the Billie Eilish Experience. The third act of “bad guy” acts as a lead-in but also a predictor of the album’s overarching style -- bass-heavy, largely guided by rhythm, otherwise sparse instrumentation -- and many of the album’s highlights follow this formula. The formula finds its most undiluted expression in “xanny”: the song never achieves anything close to a melody except the bridge, and its drop entails the most aggressive use of bass in recent pop history, probably blowing out most earphones in the mass-market range and rendering Eilish’s vocals totally unintelligible. But parts of the formula are scattered everywhere: bouts of very pronounced bass pop up in the middle of songs; sometimes there is a sole piano or guitar or ukulele, whatever seems to be her preference at the time; other times she hums out her own backing melody. There are also occasions where the tempo slows down way into ballad territory, especially towards the end of the album, and those moments are relatively less successful, particularly the closer “i love you,” which comes dangerously close to becoming a sobfest.

It has become pretty clear that most pop artists who claim to be anti-pop are bullshit, but judging by the way Eilish pushes back against pop tropes here, she may be one of the first true anti-pop pop figures (which is totally a category that exists), even if the musical structures she employs here are purely pop. On “xanny,” she refuses to succumb to the appeal of recreational drug use, while “bad guy” is a wholehearted embrace of villainy à la Taylor Swift, though Eilish’s attempt definitely carries more bite. Elsewhere, “wish you were gay” begins with an acoustic guitar, the epitome of pop authenticity, but subverts that with sounds of an audience -- the pitiful aww’s, the slight chuckles, and of course, the applause; she knows all of this is fake, and the broken fourth wall is a delightful sight (the subject matter is quite a misstep, however). But she is not always so proficient. The “good girl vs. bad girl” trope makes an appearance on “all the good girls go to hell” -- needless to say, she’s an advocate for the latter -- but it keeps the false dichotomy in place, instead of doing away with it entirely. Perhaps the biggest misfire here is “my strange addiction,” a mindless perpetuation of the equation between intense romantic attraction and a drug-induced high, entirely antithetical to Eilish's adamant rejection of the latter. (It is rather telling that the album’s biggest misfire is one of only two tracks Eilish did not take part in writing, but it is also surprising that she did not scrap it the moment she saw it.)

The common thread throughout the LP is the often melodramatic teenage mind, which Eilish approaches with consummate care. There is the inflated ego in “you should see me in a crown,” the quiet fury in “xanny,” the hopeless romantic in “wish you were gay,” the emotional confusion of “i love you,” or even the paranoia in “ilomilo.” But what Eilish arguably captures the best is teens’ often misguided self-loathing, particularly in the aftermath of a romantic break-up: “8” is Eilish’s “Liability,” a masterful treatise on low self-esteem, written by the perpetrator in the perspective of the sufferer. There are countless other brilliant songwriting moments like this on the album; thus, it is quite a feat that the entirety of the record’s writing is done by a grand total of two people. But “8” may count as some of Eilish’s and FINNEAS’s (brother and co-writer) career-best writing: melodramatic, yes, but tentative enough that the drama flies just under the radar (though that is also partly the credit of Eilish’s vocal performance). Most of the experiences on WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP might be universal, but some moments feel specifically informed by this day and age. “all the good girls go to hell” reflects generational anxieties about climate change, while “listen before i go” prompts hard questions about how we talk about suicide and depression (my own contribution: is there an acceptable way to talk about it in a public domain?); on a lighter note, “my strange addiction” faintly projects the millennial obsession with The Office.

It all culminates in “bury a friend,” the crown jewel of WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP and the musical apex of Eilish’s young career, where the best attributes of the album all converge. Its music video looks like a miniature horror movie, but the song itself sounds like it, too. The track’s staccato beat evokes horror’s signature flickering lights. Eilish’s hushed tone, whether alone or accompanied with backing vocals, makes the eerie atmosphere of the song, the background voice sounding like it is lurking directly behind her, waiting for a jump scare when she least expects it; her distorted screams would also make for a great jump scare. The errant sounds on the track -- the dental drill, the staple gun, the broken glass, the Easy-Bake Oven -- resemble things that go bump in the night. The song is written in the perspective of the monster under your bed, but not so much in the sense of the bogeymen of childhood as in the sense of one’s personal “monsters” and how we can all become paralyzed by them. The line between the person and the “monster” is never made clear, and by the end of the song, there really is no telling between the two; we are our own worst enemy, Eilish seems to point out.

What does this all mean, in the context of this new era of pop music? There are certainly many sweeping observations to be made: that Eilish signals a major shift in how pop stars are made, that she is reinventing teen-pop stardom, that her success represents an era where adolescents are finally taken seriously. But perhaps the most apparent conclusion is that Billie Eilish is shaping up to be pop's newest wunderkind, signed off on by the former titleholder herself, evidenced by a body of work uncompromising in its premise and surprisingly well-crafted in its substance. Perhaps our first taste of the album, the audacious yet clairvoyant “you should see me in a crown,” put it best: watch her make us bow, one by one by one.

[florencetheflowerfairy]

“Hitoribotchi no Seesaw” Line by Line Analysis

Another Sorato analysis for the lovely @skuag.

Léelo en español aquí.

I love the Digimon Adventure character songs. I bought all the CDs and I’m always listening to them in my car! But Yamato’s songs are particularly special to me, since he is the musician, and I readily accept that these are songs he wrote himself. I think it’s fun to imagine what his thought process was. And “Hitoribotchi no Seesaw” is special because it is the love song he wrote for Sora.

I will be using Megchan’s translation of the lyrics, which you can read in full here.

You can listen to the song on Youtube here.

I mention a few other songs; the translations I use are all from Megchan’s website.

Let’s go! This song is awesome! :’D

Yamato’s mindset as he composes his love song for Sora

Yamato wrote this song about the feeling of longing. The way Adventure portrays the feeling of longing is something I really like about the Sorato story. Even though they are the bearers of love and friendship, Sora and Yamato are solitary souls who long for love and friendship. This is most obvious in how they both long for the love of their parents. We also see it in their relationships with Taichi and Takeru, the two people they care most about before coming to the Digital World. Taichi is Sora’s best friend and she is incredibly loyal to him, but she also keeps secrets from him. For example, she never confided in him about her difficult relationship with her mother. Meanwhile, Yamato works so hard to be a good older brother to Takeru, but he also has a terrible fear of losing Takeru’s affection. They both worry about their true selves not being good enough for their loved ones, and they long for somebody who understands that feeling.

Yamato tried to capture that feeling of longing in this song.

I think it is possible that Yamato wrote this song after Sora confessed her feelings, but the theme of this song is about his feelings beforehand.

The rest of this essay is just me fangirling over each line in the lyrics.

Hitoribotchi no Seesaw

(Alone on the Seesaw)

In the first stanza, he describes the setting.

I'll walk down

My first observation—which isn’t very romantic—is that Yamato sure writes a lot of songs about walking!

There’s “Walk on the Edge,” which has this in the chorus:

I'll even walk the edge of a knife

There’s “Negai Kanaeru Kagi” (The Key to Making Wishes Come True) which also starts with walking:

We were each walking down our own roads when we met

There’s also “Tobira Door,” which has lines like this:

Oh keep on running, keep on running

And there’s also the song “Which” from Tri, which has lines in English about walking:

Just going my way, step by step

What’s my point? Well, I do think it’s a little funny. But I also think it’s interesting that Yamato writes so many songs about “walking through life.” It’s just a metaphor that he likes to use. And I think it’s appropriate since he took a long journey by foot in the Digital World as a child.

Returning to “Hitoribotchi no Seesaw.”

The winter footpath

I LOVE THIS LINE BECAUSE IT SHOWS THE CONNECTION TO SORA!

Because Sora confesses her feelings in winter! On Christmas Eve! So this line clues us into how both Sora and Yamato were falling in love during the winter of 2002. I think this line is a clear reference to that romantic moment in the show.

With no direction in mind

And so we arrive at the end of the stanza and we have the setting. Yamato is walking by himself and feeling thoughtful. He doesn’t have a destination. He feels too unsure of himself to have a destination yet.

In other words, it is the beginning of the song and Yamato feels too timid to approach Sora as a destination.

In the second stanza, Yamato describes his feelings.

The blue sky is cold.

Beyond describing the winter setting, he also says how it makes him feel: cold and vulnerable.

I like that he mentions blue, because it’s his color. :) (And Marin Ishida pointed out to me that Sora wore a sky-blue coat when she confessed her feelings to him!)

The romaji of this line is:

Tsumetai aozora

I don’t know any Japanese. I only mention this because I know that “Sora” means “sky” (though it’s pronounced like “zora” here). In any case, it sounds like Yamato is saying Sora’s name!

My hands are shoved in my pockets

He continues to describe how cold he feels by showing his actions.

But in all seriousness, I love this line because Yamato ALWAYS has his hands in his pockets, whatever the weather. Just google his name and you’ll see that’s how the artists draw him! It’s body language that shows how he wants to appear “cool,” but he’s really just awkward.

A stone rolls in my heart

This is the saddest line yet, but it is a perfect description of loneliness, isn’t it? Yamato carries a heavy weight in his heart, similar to how he carried a darkness in his heart throughout the entirety of Adventure. Even when walking by himself, this heavy stone keeps him company. And we know that Sora also understands this feeling of carrying a stone in her heart, because she also was in the Dark Cave.

In the third stanza, Yamato describes Sora.

Your kindness

Is so straight-forward

Of course, Sora is a very kind person. She becomes the “big sister” of the group and actively shows kindness and a smile to everyone. Yamato appreciates all the hard work she does.

However, I also believe this line is ironic, because Sora isn’t always “straight-forward” with her kindness. Remember in the Picodevimon arc when she helped the group in secret?

Still, it is clear to everyone that Sora is a good-hearted person. Yamato especially appreciates the warmth she shows to him and Takeru.

It's a bit painful

I love this line because it is so awkward but so honest. “You are so good to me that it hurts and I don’t know how to react.” What a line to put in a love song!

The best example I can think of this dynamic between Sora and Yamato is actually a scene from the Adventure PSP game when the characters are spending their first night in the Digital World. (The night they find the trolley and Gabumon evolves to Garurumon.) In the scene, Yamato has the option to speak to multiple characters, and Sora is the only person who asks Yamato about his own interests, because she is kind and wants him to feel included. (Specifically, she asks him if he learned how to cook at home, since he knew how to cook fish.) Yamato feels awkward and doesn’t know how to respond, but he has the option to confide in her about his difficult family situation. (That he cooks meals by himself because his mother doesn’t live with him.) In response, Sora’s shoulders slump and she expresses her sympathy. The conversation is “a bit painful,” but it also brings them closer together.

And so, we see in the lyrics that Yamato views Sora as a kind person who makes him feel happiness and pain. The feeling of being in love!

In the fourth stanza, Yamato describes how difficult it is for him to confess his feelings to Sora.

I can't be honest

I don't have the right

To handle this with honesty

Unlike Jou with his crest of honesty, Yamato has difficulties expressing himself. He laments his personal struggle with this. He is accustomed to hiding his emotions because he wants to be a mature person. He likely doesn’t want to bother his father by complaining.

Yamato has also struggled with self-esteem, and he doesn’t know if he “has the right” to love and friendship.

It’s important that Yamato admits his struggles to himself before he can continue.

At last we arrive at the chorus!

Alone on the seesaw

Everyone waits for someone to come

Yamato introduces his metaphor of a seesaw. I like the metaphor because these characters are young, and Sora and Yamato met each other during elementary school.

Yamato describes the feeling of longing, of wanting a friend on the playground, or perhaps a soulmate who will bring balance into one’s life. “Everyone waits” for this “someone.”

I'm no different

Even though Yamato wears a mask, he has feelings too! He wants to find love just like everyone in the world wants love. But he describes his desire for love in a self-deprecating manner.

But I always sat

Facing the opposite direction

Can you imagine young Yamato sitting alone on the seesaw on the playground and nobody will sit with him? :(

But Yamato blames himself. He sits facing the opposite direction. He hides his emotions. Why would anyone want to sit with him?

In the next stanza, Yamato continues to describe how difficult it is to talk to people in general. He is too shy.

I was never

Able to say

Just what I was thinking

But in the following stanza, Yamato changes his attitude!

But now I've decided

To force myself to try

I don't care if you laugh at me

Yamato worries a lot about other people’s opinions of him. He doesn’t like if they laugh at him. He prefers to be considered cool and mature, even if this means it is difficult for him to make friends.

But now Yamato wants to change because the situation is too important. He cares too much about Sora. He loves her and doesn’t want to lose her. So he says that he will open his heart and be more honest.

This attitude contrasts dramatically with Yamato’s message from his season 1 character song “Walk on the Edge,” which has lines like these:

I'm all right on my own

I'll even walk the edge of a knife

And these:

So just be cool

And don't lose to yourself

Because, obviously, Yamato still had to go through his character development in season 1.

But the message of  “Hitoribotchi no Seesaw” is similar to “Negai Kanaeru Kagi,” which is his season 2 character song, and also happens to be my FAVORITE of all the character songs in Digimon. (Because it’s such a joyful song!) Its lines show how far Yamato has grown in 02.

If you don't use the weapons you have now, what use are they!?

Why not let loose a bit?

And these lines:

What use is a great trump card if you never use it!?

Why not be uncool?

He grows so much! My son! :’) He learns to break down his walls and open up!

Returning to “Hitoribotchi no Seesaw”. This is the part where he returns to his chorus about the seesaw, but this time he isn’t alone.

Alone on the seesaw

I waited, pretending not to be lonely

He pretends, but we all know the truth.

If you sit with me

Our feelings will balance

And I think I'll be able to smile

Lovely image, no?

Yamato feels heavy and alone on the seesaw. He carries a heavy stone in his heart. But if Sora sits on the other side of the seesaw, then together they will feel lighter. The stones in their hearts will leave forever. And Yamato will be able to smile. And Sora will too.

At last, we reach the final chorus.

Alone on the seesaw

Everyone waits for someone to come

This longing to see you

Spread out in my heart

Like the blue sky in winter

Yamato describes the feeling of longing again. He mentions his heart and the blue winter sky, like he did at the beginning of the song. We’ve come full circle. But he no longer describes them in a sad way. I like how his longing “spread out” like the wings of a bird. And I believe he is making his metaphor clear that Sora is the sky. We hear his voice sing “zora” again. The sky is grand and beautiful and it fills up his heart.

[kaiserdingus]

The Return of Classic Sonic - Part 4 - Sonic Mania/Sonic Forces

Over the past couple of years, and especially recently with the release of Sonic Mania, we’ve seen a resurgence in media depicting the classic version of Sonic the Hedgehog from the 1990’s. He’s shorter, he’s voiceless, and he represents a simpler time in video games from before voice acting and cinematic cutscenes.

In recent games he’s been offered as an alternative to the modern aesthetic and play-style that’s been the standard since Sonic Adventure. How did we get to this point? How has Sonic changed over the years, and why are there now two Sonics?

In this series I plan to observe the time period in Sonic history where SEGA decided to shake things up and make what was once old new again. This is The Return of Classic Sonic.

Sonic Mania

After the release of Sonic Generations, things seemed to be going well for Sonic Team. In 2013 they announced an exclusivity deal with Nintendo for their recently released Wii U. The deal was that the next three Sonic the Hedgehog titles would be exclusive to the Wii U. Sonic Lost World, Mario & Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games, and Sonic Boom were the three Nintendo exclusive titles as part of the deal. After how good Generations was, things were not looking good for Sonic the Hedgehog fans who weren’t fond of Lost World or Boom.

Things felt dark at the time, but then in July 2016 Sega held a big Sonic-themed fan event where they announced two new titles. The first was a new collaboration with Christian Whitehead, Headcannon, and PagodaWest Games called “Sonic Mania”, a true return to the classic 2D gameplay that Sega and Sonic Team tried to achieve with Sonic the Hedgehog 4.

The second game was an untitled 3D game introduced with a pre-rendered trailer showing Sonic in a dystopian wasteland, and joining him yet again would be Classic Sonic. The trailer looked drove home the idea that this was a new modern-style Sonic game that followed the style of Sonic Colors and Sonic Generations, except now with a darker, more serious story. Even though the trailer featured Classic Sonic, the producers were quick to express that this wasn’t a sequel to Sonic Generations. Eventually, the title would be revealed as Sonic Forces, and we’ll talk about that a little later.

Despite Sonic Forces raising a ton of questions, the real show-stealer that night was Sonic Mania. An officially sanctioned new title in the classic Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, one that compiled new, original stages with stages from older titles that were remixed for a new generation of fans.

The game launched in August 2017 and was a smash hit, having the highest score for a Sonic the Hedgehog title on review sites in years. Previous Whitehead produced Sonic titles include Sonic CD, Sonic 1, and Sonic 2 which were remakes of classic titles with some enhancements. Now, his team were able to fill it with not just new enhancements, but completely new features. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles are all playable with their own moves and character-specific paths, but now Sonic has a new “Drop Dash” that allows him to charge a spindash while in mid-air.

Similarly to Sonic CD, Sonic Mania opens with an animated full-motion video. Animated by Tyson Hesse, a comic book illustrator who previously worked on Archie’s Sonic comics as well as having done Sonic fan comics online, it’s the perfect cherry on top to complete a wonderful game. Hesse’s art has been celebrated in the Sonic fan community, from his parody comic “Sonic’s Big Fat Adventure”, to his Sonic CD/Sonic OVA style designs in the Archie mini-series Sonic Mega Drive.

Something that’s usually considered taboo when adapting another’s work is adding new elements, but that taboo has been successfully broken with the addition of the Hard Boiled Heavies as antagonists assisting Dr. Eggman this time around.

Originally Egg-Robos from Sonic & Knuckles, they’ve been corrupted by the Phantom Ruby which is given each of them individual personalities. The boss fights against the Hard Boiled Heavies are some of the best in the entire game, and I would not be opposed to seeing more of them in future titles.

The marketing for Sonic Mania disguised one of the bigger plot points to the game, and the game itself doesn’t make it clear, but Sonic Mania cleverly ties into Sonic Forces which was released 3 months later. The Phantom Ruby, Eggman’s world-altering MacGuffin, appears in Sonic Mania and is the force that transports Sonic to Modern Sonic’s world in Forces. They even snuck Sonic Forces’ theme song “Fist Bump” into the final boss battle.

When Mania came out I played the hell out of it and cleared each of the 8 save files. The special stages from Sonic 3 and Sonic & Knuckles return, but now they replace the pinball bonus stages. They quickly become irritating as you find yourself entering nearly 3 special stages per level. It’s not that they’re not fun to play, but rather that they take longer than standard bonus stages so they break up the pace of the game.

I loved Sonic Mania, I thought it filled a much needed desire in me to play a game that really understood what makes Sonic great. The way Sega released Sonic Forces following Mania made Mania seem like an appetizer, but one that’s infinitely better than the perfectly acceptable main course.

Sonic Forces

Originally announced alongside Sonic Mania in June of 2016, Sonic Forces was released in November 2017 and landed with an unfortunate thud. Dr. Eggman has taken over the world and now it’s up to Sonic to save the day, only this time he’s joined by a new friend - YOU. Oh, and also Classic Sonic returns from Sonic Generations for no clear reason. This game isn’t bad by any means, but it certainly isn’t seen very positively within some parts of the fan community? The fans celebrated Sonic Generations, how did Forces go so wrong?

When planning this game simultaneously with Sonic Mania, it’s assumed that the producers wanted to cater to two very specific audiences: people who grew up with and prefer the style of the classic Sonic games, or people who prefer the more story driven modern titles. Mania was meant to be for the fans of the classic games, while Forces would be aimed at those who liked Sonic Colors and Sonic Generations.

The only problem with basing this game off of Generations is that by the time this game would come out, that game would already be 6 years old. For some perspective, that’s the same amount of time between Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and Sonic Adventure. With that big of a time gap, it was assumed Sonic Team would be able to make a game that would surpass the quality of the ones that came before it. Instead, we got a game that feels more or less like Generations 2 (more like Generations 2 Late).

This isn’t to say the game is bad, it just feels dated, ironically its biggest competition is a game that’s entire gimmick is how dated it is. The game follows an edgy storyline about Dr. Eggman capturing Sonic and taking over the world, and the resistance group that forms to stop Dr. Eggman and liberate the world. Typical for a Sonic game post-1992, Dr. Eggman has a new friend with him, a jackal named Infinite who’s been made incredibly powerful with the strength of a magical MacGuffin known as the Phantom Ruby.

The story wouldn’t be an issue if it weren’t for the fact that none of the characters develop or grow, aside from the player’s Avatar character. The avatar is the last of their people after Infinite showed up and killed them all for no apparent reason, and now they’ve teamed up with Sonic and the resistance to stop Eggman from… keeping control of the world.

That’s right, besides the lack of character development or growth there’s also a lack of motivation for the villains. Dr. Eggman beats Sonic with the help of Infinite at the beginning of the game, Sonic gets captured and taken to the Death Egg, and his friends break him out.

Sonic Adventure 2’s edgy storyline worked because characters had motivation and they grew as the story went. Shadow wanted to avenge the death of his friend, but eventually discovered that vengeance wouldn’t be what she wanted. Rouge offers her skills as a jewel thief to help Dr. Eggman, only to double cross him when it’s revealed she’s a spy working for the President. Tails, having overcome his fears in the previous Sonic Adventure games, asserts himself as a competent mechanic and hero. Even Eggman realizes the error of his ways near the end of the game and helps the heroes stop the destruction he caused.

Gameplay wise, the game plays just as good as Sonic Generations did, and it even looks better. Sonic Lost World and Sonic Boom, the two titles to come out in the years between Generations and Forces, were too radically different and didn’t work. Sonic Forces might feel like too little too late, it its very playable. The levels are more cinematic this time around, but they’re also a lot shorter. While Generations had 9 different areas with two stages each, Forces only has 6 areas with a combined 24 action stages. A casual Sonic player can easily clear the game in under 4 hours.

The game has a lot of replay value, though. Especially in regards to the Avatar, who can equip clothing and accessories that you gain by clearing stages and missions. The Wispons act as different equippables for your character’s grappling hook, giving them new abilities that can help them reach different pathways.

Classic Sonic, honestly, feels a little tacked on in this game. Like I said previously, Classic Sonic felt integral to Generations, but this time he feels like Werehog-esque filler. I love the gameplay and the dedicated 2D levels, but you they didn’t need to shoe-horn Classic Sonic into the game. It feels like a cheap gimmick to bring in people coming down from the high of Sonic Mania, rather than something that’s important to the story.

Sonic Forces really isn’t a bad game, it feels like a love letter to the fans of the 2000’s era Sonic games. It’s cheesy, with the grim-dark story, the DeviantArt-esque character creator, the butt rock theme song featuring Hoobastank singer Doug Robb, and the incredibly edgy Infinite who automatically replaces Shadow as “most cringey Sonic character”. It probably won’t ever be seen in the same light as it’s companion game, but I enjoyed it for what it was.

After 9 years of attempts by Sega, prompted by the passion and dedication of the Sonic the Hedgehog fan base, we’re finally seeing a resurgence of classic Sonic. Sonic 4 was a shallow attempt, Sonic Generations was an honest try, but Sonic Mania nailed it completely. A team of fans have done the impossible and have used their skills from making fan games to make a perfect Sonic game. Something any Nintendo fans would’ve been shut down for, Sega allowed to happen and are now benefiting from it.

It’s an exciting time for fans of Classic Sonic, as this July Sega are releasing a definitive edition of Sonic Mania called Sonic Mania Plus. The new content will be available as DLC for players who already own Mania. Alongside Sonic Mania Plus is a new animated series directed by Tyson Hesse. Five short episodes released in the weeks leading up to the release of Sonic Mania Plus.

What’s next for Sonic fans? Beyond Sonic Mania Plus, not much. If fans respond to Sonic Mania Plus well and it sells enough copies, I’m sure Sega will produce more games in the classic style. Hopefully using Christian Whitehead’s Retro Engine and with the same love the team put into Sonic Mania.

Where to Buy

Sonic Mania  (PS4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch, PC)

Sonic Mania Plus  (PS4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch)

Sonic Forces (PS4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch, PC)

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