#also i know i kinda forgot abt it last time i posted a wip

[thebreakfastgenie]

ik i already said chianti was my favorite, but please talk abt writing emergency room!!!

thank you for indulging my obvious fishing you're a real one <3 I did not expect this to get this long I'm so sorry I'm gonna put it under a cut

The Emergency Room is the only one of my "renaissance" fics I spent a lot of time on or really... worked at. Chianti, The Apple, and Campfire all came easily and unexpectedly. Normally I think I do some of my best writing that way and I am pleased with the writing on all of those but I do think The Emergency Room benefitted from the amount of time and attention it got.

I started writing Emergency Room on Christmas. It might have been Christmas Eve or the day after but I'm pretty sure it was Christmas itself, because I was trying very hard to finish a new draft of a Christmas themed WIP six years in the making (I failed. I'll try again this year.) and this other thing kept wanting to be written instead. So I was like, fine. So technically Emergency Room predates Chianti, at least everything up through the waiting room scene because those were all written first and then edited only a little later. I was on a role and I was so excited to get to the scene with the doctor and then when I got there it became impossible to write. I still don't know why this happened, but it did, so I had to stop writing it for a while.

But I never really stopped because I was thinking about that scene all the time and working on phrases and sentences. The way I write, a lot of the process is invisible. I work out full sentences and sometimes paragraphs in my head and then I write them down. (Most of the first half of Campfire was written in my head while I was in the woods and I was so anxious I would forget it before I got to my phone to write it down.) I do make changes at this point, but it's rare for them to be significant. I basically use my WIPs as my daydream scenarios for any time I need something to think about. I also write in chronological order, so this scene I was stuck on became my mental backdrop for months. I really wasn't planning to pick it back up when I did, I was supposed to be working on a different WIP, but it happened.

The conversation with the doctor is one of my favorite parts, but the farthest I had gotten during these months of rumination was this part:

“I thought your name sounded familiar,” she sounded apologetic, almost embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I need to pick my metaphors more carefully.”

“Don’t be,” Josh shook his head. “You’re the first doctor I’ve seen in months that hasn’t opened with it. It’s... kind of nice.”

The next line, where she talks about the patient's role in surgery, was unplanned, but it ended up being pivotal to my understanding of this scene. The subtext of

“But there’s something else, something intangible, that comes from the patient. For all our scientific advancements, there’s still a lot we don’t understand about the body,” she paused, then added, “and the mind.”

is you lived because you wanted to live.

I actually worked out this subtext and I had a sentence that I thought sounded nice, but I didn't write it down because I knew I wasn't going to use it, and what I recall doesn't sound quite as nice, but it was basically "You were teetering on the brink of life and death. Dying had never been easier. If you wanted to die you would have done it then."

It's supposed to be a counterpoint to "He could have died happy," from the previous scene.

So, I hope someone picked up on that.

One of the things I knew about that scene all along is that when Josh tells the doctor what happened to his hand he's really telling Donna. Hopefully saying it to her shoes got that across adequately, lol. That moment was painful to write because I had already way, way committed to past tense but that one little line sounded so much better in present tense and there was nothing I could do about it. I still like the sound of:

"I broke a window," he tells Donna's shoes.

but there's nothing I can do about it!!! I'm not going to rerelease the Special Present Tense Edition although that sounds kinda fun, I have no desire to rewrite the rest of it in present tense.

Also I forgot about this when I was being annoying about wanting people to pick up on my favorite parts, but the thing about comparing the innards of the chair in the waiting room to organs is something I (surprise, surprise) thought of while looking at a cracked chair and I still adore the concept but I'm satisfied but not thrilled with the execution.

It's worth noting that even during the literal months I was stewing over the doctor scene, everything that comes after that was planned in excruciating detail. I even had specific phrases; the hug and

"I'll be right here when you get back." "Promise?" "I promise."

were one of the first scenes I thought of and anchored this fic the whole time I was writing it. That moment is the companion to

"I am very glad that you're alive." "Me too." "You are?"

in Fortune Cookie Wisdom.

Because that's the other thing about this fic. From the beginning, I was envisioning it as the night before Fortune Cookie Wisdom. This caused me a few minor wrinkles, like the space heater. I was writing along assuming it was already there, when I went back and checked and realized that I established that Donna was the one who put it in the bedroom, so I came up with a compromise. I also deliberately avoided saying what time it was throughout Emergency Room so we can all convince ourselves Josh got a few hours of sleep before already being awake at 7:30 AM in Fortune Cookie Wisdom.

But the biggest influence from Fortune Cookie Wisdom is the phone call in K-Mart. I had established that Donna got a last-minute flight home for Christmas and that Josh arranged it with Leo's help, and I knew I wanted the scene where he convinces her to go. But I had to figure out when and how he actually managed to pull it off and so the mysterious K-Mart phone call was born. I got a kick out of an AO3 comment that highlighted finding out who Josh was on the phone with because it meant that part actually worked.

And then there was the ending. At this point it was 2 AM, I had been agonizing over this fic nonstop for the last couple days and intermittently for months, and I wanted it to be done so I could post it. The ending was torture. I kept writing and deleting things. I kept staring at it trying to get the perfect last line, trying to convey the same general vibe as the end of Noël itself. I'm still not sure I didn't need one more sentence of buildup before putting the button on it, but everyone seemed to really like and respond to it, so I'm happy!

If you actually read this whole post congratulations we're friends now.

Also if you've read both I'd be very curious to hear how anyone thinks Emergency Room and Fortune Cookie Wisdom work together because I wrote them three years apart and the style is very different.

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Yes thats the episode! I forgot John was in prison at the time. It would have been great if he got that number. Thank you so much for your fic recomnendations! Im going to check them all out. I would also love to read your story if you ever feel comfortable sharing it. Okay so as for the season 4 and 5 thing: i do agree with you that it got really different from season 1. I struggled a bit with that in the beginning (cause i love the s1 concept) but then i went with it (1)

I really disliked root in the beginning and i dont know when that changed but in the end i started loving her. She was like a comic relief and i liked her relationship with shaw. But i can understand anyone who doesnt like her. The thing i missed the most was the relationship with Harold and John (it was sad that they got so little interactions) and i also wasnt a fan of Johns S4 love interest. But overall i enjoyed s4 and 5 (minus the ending maybe cause my poor heart needs a Happy end) (2)

But i can understand anyone who doesnt like These seasons as much. I just remember a lot of discussions on reddit where everyone was loving season 3-5 and saying season 1 was boring (which is kinda sad cause i love season 1) so i guess you are right about there being a fracture. I just hope i am still allowed to send you questions after admitting that i like root (i promise i wont ask anything about her 😂)

Yes having both John and Harold working on that number, and addressing John's issues would have been great. Hope you like the fics !

Aww thanks ! I considered posting it on tumblr bc stuff gets "lost" easily on here compared to ao3. But if you delete your post the reblogs are still here. Maybe I'll post it as anonymous, but I'm talking about it on here anyway so it wouldn't be hard to guess it was written by me. Ig posting it unanonymously (is that a word) with moderated comments would be the best choice. Tbh it's not my best writing anyway and idk if I'll manage to finish it. (Idk if I'll manage to finish any of the ten billions wips and translations I have lying around on OneDrive.... But that's another subject.)

It's nice that Root grew on you and that you enjoyed the last seasons ! I'm too busy clutching the early seasons close to my heart lmao. I could never see her as a comic relief I think, she's too much of an annoying intrusion to me. Idk how I feel about shoot either. Like I don't really like or dislike Shaw but given that Root creeps me out... Idk. I feel like John and Harold had more chemistry. You can pry Rinch from my cold dead hands.

Yeah I've heard about John and Harold relationship not being how it was in the beginning >:((( I'm big mad.

I agree wholeheartedly about a happy ending. Man I remember crying my eyes out watching return 0. And I already knew what was gonna happen. But nothing can truly prepare you for that.

I wasn't on reddit back then, got an acc like 3 years ago and started actually checking reddit 2 years ago but yeah from what I've seen the poi subreddit seems to be quite the circlejerk abt the last seasons. (Aren't I circlejerking abt the early seasons though.) I remember a post saying it got worse after Carter's death and someone was like akshually the whole AI war thing was planned for the beginning and poi isn't for you if you want a procedural. Like bruh I highly doubt that shit was planned from day 1 and also poi literally started as a procedural so I expected it to be a procedural, that's logical, but go off I guess. Sad that they find it boring but yeah ig S1 can be seen as boring if you're into all that S4/S5 shit. I'm getting bitter again oof. I also have a feeling some of those ppl discovered poi with the last seasons and expected the rest of the show to be similar ? But viewership went down so idk if there were many new viewers.

Talking abt poi gives me life send me all the questions 👀👀 but bc you like root I deem you only half valid :/ (jk ♥️)

[pixel-writes]

(1) Hi, hello! Your music recommendation buddy here! I ran into three (3) songs that reminded me of your WIPs when I listened to them so I'll start with them. They're all from the same band - The Oh Hellos. The first one is "Soldier, Poet, King" (my personal fave probably, had that on repeat for a few days), the next one is "Thus Always to Tyrants" (the excellence 👌) and the last one is "Dear Wormwood"

(2) Now for the more random ones that I adored! Creature Fear by Bon Iver is an oldie but I never found it ??? what?? do I even exist? Now I Say Goodnight - Leathan Milne (heard that one while reading a top tier fanfic and it made me cry), To Tundra - Los Campesinos! and This Is Sally Hatchet - Father John Misty (I can’t believe I haven’t told you about these two I’ve known them for a while and god I love them!!!)

(3) Daniel In The Den by Bastille - I have known that one for a long time too but I recently re-discovered it and oh I forgot how much I love it. Tessellate by alt-J (I know that some ppl don’t really like alt-J’s voice but.. I love him so), Twin Size Mattress - The Front Bottoms (also another artist that has a unique voice that some ppl don’t like but I love the lyrics - reminds me of Draco Malfoy, Sirius Black and James Potter in some parts SO. MUCH.)

(4) and lastly, my recent EXTREME favorite is Burn It Down by Daughter. I didn’t like it at first but the more I listened to it the better it got and I can’t help it but it reminds me of post-Endgame Peter Parker a lot (idk if you watch Marvel movies if not then just ignore this XD) Also I kinda think I’ve already told you about the Twin Size Mattress from the third ask.. But I’m not sure so.. Yeah whatever XD That’s all from me for now!

I’m putting my answer underneath a read more bc this is already BIG

The first thing i want to say is: you thought of my wip’s while listening to music??? what??? i feel so honored!! also, YES the oh hellos have amazing music, and so do The Front Bottoms. have you ever heard bathtub and skeletons from them? probs my two favorite songs of all time. 

Bastille is one of my favorite bands ever, honestly. you probably already know it but “bad blood” is great and i think everyone should listen to it.

 I never really got into Marvel movies (when i wanted to start watching them there were already like 15 movies i had to watch to understand the story and i was lazy lol) but Burn It Down is amazing and i can just thank you for telling me abt it vjnijvnenv

ps: Sorry i took so long to answer but i had it in my drafts to tag it and i thought i had posted it and i didn’t!!

[4l13n-80y]

*throws this at you* branikraf drwawgin

new wip just dropped