#also i kinda dislike this composition whatever

[taptrial2]

request i had way too much fun with. the hauntingly similar-looking cousins show up at the function like this wyd

[fumifooms]

Dandan x Asivia

Dubbed dansivia. Confused as to who either of these are? Here’s a Dandan comp and Asivia wise this post is close enough for now

There is a brave visionary on ao3 and they’re so right

Ok first of all let’s address the theory:

Dandan is indeed the only Laios party member not pictured here (besides Chilchuck himself but we saw he didn’t like her which would contradict this anyways). I keep wanting to add "that we know of" or some other caveat but honestly not even no, it’s never implied or mentioned they had yet another party member and that makes sense since we saw the party’s inception right up to its current party composition.

… So… Mystery solved right out of the gate? I dunno, it feels weird to me to claim Dandan hates Laios, but if he kept it under wraps enough or reasoned with himself about it I could see it. Laios and Dandan were coworkers from their gold peeling days, and so when Laios left to try a career in dungeon diving Dandan joined him.

They seem very standard coworkers that get along well enough to me, far from skulls emoji energy, but yeah there is a case to be made on both overt strong dislike and repressed strong dislike ends. But maybe the true beef started after he left the party even, especially if he fancies Asivia and kept up with the party’s drama that went down with her, though the chart does imply it was the work dynamic while he was still in the party because of context. But, believing that Dandan likes her and Asivia considered getting with him like the other men of the party, Asivia would have literally sidelined Dandan to pursue Laios. And Laios doesn’t even realize her attempts at seduction? Ok yeah the hate is plausible nvm. Also we can keep in mind that this is Chilchuck’s chart and he could have more insight on Dandan’s feelings than the average coworker since he’s his friend. It def fleshes him more out with implications. He’s professional he keeps unnecessary shit to himself. It’d be weird to me if the relationship chart was made without Kui thinking it through, or retconning it, it is the canon we get so it’s interesting to ponder. Kui giving us secret romantic drama for free <3

Speaking of what’s not free. Ok maybe Dan does dislike Laios, do business introductions really cost money… I mean I respect the hustle but. So Dandan is heavily implied to be the one to introduce Asivia to the party. The only other mage was Marcille and well we know how that went. "A real cutie". Yeah. I bet. 👀

This is the most interesting dansivia part to me, they did meet previously to the party, both doing what they do best, networking. Dan helped Asivia find a job, how did they meet and how did that go? What if she had an infamous reputation already, how much did they get acquainted… There’s a lot of leeway for fun here

Gorgeous hustling but lazy manipulator that seeks a fortunate husband x slight womanizer hustling & hardworking poor guy that’s been around in business for too long to be played… Both work a lot but like to take it easy when they can. Tavern flirtations and having met while networking and "I can hook you with a job" (staring and smiling too much) and "Oh Dandan, you’re so capable and knowledgable about the Island, could you help me out~"

Manipulator hustler seductress x laidback hustler flirt… Social butterflies, streets smarts in different yet similar ways… Observant x observant………. She’s very harsh and drops people/her damsel act at the first second she can’t get something out of it anymore and I think he’d be so into that. Dandan liking strongminded women. Women who kinda play dirty. Makes him respect them and want to pursue them help…

And like takes on Asivia differ nowadays but I do need her to mean this shit for this, this is what she's unabashedly about. She is just a woman trying to make it in this world but working people’s the name of her game. Whatever reason you give her, she was taking advantage of Laios and trying to get a marriage with any decent profitable guy she could. She knows what she’s doing and she doesn’t look the least bit remorseful. A girl who knows what she wants and chases it, rawr ⬅️ Dandan voice

They both fall for each other but neither can admit it because they know it’s just temporary, she’ll go look for a well-off tallman husband eventually. Messy situationship go. Can they even have a good ending together. It’s all only ever nice in the present moments… She’ll leave he can’t offer her anything but himself and a very humble lifestyle, she’ll leave she can’t settle for that she won’t, he knows that and it’s part of why he liked her in the first place. Oughhhhh

Ohhh to be underdogs, settling for a humble life & being content with that vs unapologetically ambitious and chases that life and comfort she seeks, which in turn makes him admire her…….. But even if she inspires him to chase what he wants, she can’t give it to him…………..

Putting this on blast bc they’re great thoughts

Because I’m me I’m trying to make them reach a happy long term ending together and it’s not working… Which is more fun tbh. I shall ponder this puzzle…

Casanova Dandan is so important to me now. Chilchuck’s in a separation slump & faithfulness oath to the wind but Dandan, good friend dandan? He’s living he’s thriving he’s pulling

I want fics of them meeting & networking. He’s very up to the news in the dungeon goer community… All I’m saying is I can see Dandan bartering for a shot with her in exhange for information or helping her out find jobs, knowing she’s after guys to marry too 🤭 I think they should flirt in a tavern. I think they should make eyes at each other over glasses and exchanging business convos and leaving it all in the implied and unspoken

Dansivia is getting too real to me

The fics are fun go read ‘em

[munchboxart]

Hi I'm making another long post talking whatever bullshit that comes to my mind because I'm insane I guess, this time it's music because I love music. I wanna say before hand, I have 0 knowledge in music so a lot of what I'm gonna describe is just my feelings

You also don't have to read through all of this, you can just listen to the music I've linked and that's enough for me :+]

Anyways I'm gonna be talking about JP songs from the early 2000s or late 1990s (Y2K?) that have this poppy, girly type energy. I'm mostly gonna talk about Serani Poji but I'll talk about other's that I've found too.

Ok so I learned that Serani Poji was originally created for SEGA's (I don't know how they keep finding banger musicians) video game called ROOMMANIA #203, which is crazy because I thought they were kind of an indie group like CAPSULE (I don't even know if that's true) or something. Anyways, a lot, if not all, of Serani Poji's songs were put in their later albums (I believe they're all in Manamoon? But there could be other albums too)

Manamoon by Serani Poji

What a banger debut album. To be honest, I think the only songs I really dislike is Manamoon, but the other songs really make up for it. Like "Octopus Daughter" and "Which one of the twins ?" are so fucking GOOD. And I think "Spiral Da-Hi!" is a perfect representation of what I imagine the idealization of the future would be like? If that makes sense??? Basically like The Jetsons. Also I really like this album cover art, speaks a lot of it's era. It's other album cover is nice too I think, I know it's very simple but it takes a surprisingly a lot of thought to think about the composition/placement of text and what colors to pick and the sizes (curse you Graphic Design class)

I'll talk about One-Room Survival for a bit, I think it's their most popular album? Though, I think that's mainly because of "Pipo Pipo".

One-Room Survival by Serani Poji

I think I like this album more than Manamoon? Or at least I think a lot of the songs here are more memorable/addicting to me (but that also may be because I spent more time listening to this album, I only listened to Serani Poji's other albums recently). "One-Room Survival" and "Where is Smiley?" are probably one of my most favorite songs in this album, especially the latter because I love humming the chorus (where is my friend Smiley????? !!!!!). Lovelabor is also really good, I love Bossa Nova type of music. Also I think this is my favorite album art out of all of Serani Poji's Discography? Maybe it's on par with Manamoons because I like it too, but something like this album in it's simplicity is really nice, and a lot of the songs kind of fit it too to be honest. Merry Go Round Jailhouse's album cover is cute too! I think they're all nice in their own way.

Uhmmm I'll talk about Ochamekan briefly since I haven't spent that much time with it

Ochamekan by Serani Poji

Ok admittedly I haven't heard all of the songs, but I do know that one of my favorite songs #2 Earthling Body(?)/Earth Human Body(??)/地球人のカラダ is in this album. #5 Coffee Shop at Night/夜の喫茶店 is also a really good song by virtue of it being kinda Bossa Nova (or maybe I'm just guessing that genre wrong,,,). Also I think this cover art is very cute!!! Actual blorbo

Ok that ends the Serani Poji section, I'll talk about the other albums I found and maybe mention at least 1 CAPSULE album since I've already talked about them before.

FAKEVOX by Plus-Tech Squeeze Box

I love this album art JHNGFDJKNGDFB ANYWAYS this entire album is a lot more... Hyper? Energetic! Upbeat!! compared to the other albums I mentioned. It leans more to like, Cutie Cinema Replay/Nexus-2060 by CAPSULE. Anyways I think #2 Early Riser is such a fun song, I'd love to make an animatic or animation with it. #7 ☆ is also one of my favorites, it's very cute! The ending song "Clover" Is another favorite, I've listened to it probably the most or just as much as "Early Riser", it's very sweet and nice to listen to while doing chores.

SUPER MIRACLE CIRCUIT by Sonic Coaster Pop

THIS IS THE ALBUM I'VE BEEN MOST EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT. I think out of the album cover art in this post, this has to be my very top (even though you can count every pixel on here). I don't know if this counts because I only started recently liking it, but I really like this type of Y2K visuals and music? IT'S FUN IT'S CUTE IT'S EVERYTHING!! Anyways, I LOVE how all the songs transition to the next one so smoothly. My absolute favorite song here is #3 Super Speed POP☆STAR. Definitely the most listened song on this post, I'd love to make a character design based on this song!!

The songs are pretty long but that's ok, It really helps with the transitions! Also surprisingly, Plus-Tech Squeeze Box has made a remix for them! I think I prefer the original but I love the title "go go EGG mix", that's so fucking silly behavior, let's be whimsical!!

OK so a break, I'll be talking about 2 more albums which are personal favorites. The ones above are a lot more recent albums I've listened to (excluding One-Room Survival) but these last 2 are ones I've had a lot more time with.

Second last album I'll talk about is from CAPSULE, which is the only band here that still makes music to this day I believe? Which makes me really sad, but it makes a lot of the albums here valuable/important, as they're a really good product of their time.

Capsule – L.D.K. Lounge Designers Killer

A Flying City Plan(?)/空飛ぶ都市計画 is such a great starting song. I really wanted to use it for my Frye Splatfest art for Team Aliens, but I went with the Nexus-2060 song "Space Station No. 9" since I think it and the album itself fit more with the "aliens" theme. Anyways, I believe this album is the most latest one on this post? That's ok, I'll give a pass to CAPSULE any time of my life. A lot of the songs here are more chill, very loungy LOL

Also same as always, I love all of the songs in here, I mean it's CAPSULE. It'd be easier to say which songs are the weaker ones for me, which is #3 Lounge Designers Killer (how come the title tracks are the ones to kinda fall off...), and #4 Twinkle Twinkle Poppp! But not because it's a bad song, I just think it's kind of out of place in this album?? Whatever I still like it, anyways #5 TIC TAC and #1 A Flying City Plan are my most favorite songs in this album. Also the little ending song is very sweet :+] <3

LAST THING TO SAY ABOUT THIS ALBUM, #9 do do pi do reminds me. A lot of Tunak Tunak Tun. and it's driving me kind of crazy because I don't know if anyone else also hears it.

Last album is an album I've listened to the most and one I've heard since I was 12. Maybe my most favorite album ever??

NAGISA COSMETIC by NAGISA COSMETIC

I am so... Distraught that they only released one album, because I think they've captured cuteness so perfectly?? NAGISA COSMETIC is a duo consisting of a model and designer, Ichikawa Nagisa and the other half of CAPSULE, producer Nakata Yasutaka. I can't express how much this album means so much to me, like I made my first animation to one of the songs here (#6 retort). I LOVE THIS ALBUMMMMMMMMM, and how I found it was through... OSU 😭 whoever mapped Cosmetic Happy, I love you, you changed my life.

And that's all! Thank you if you read all of this, but thank you too if you just went through the music, I appreciate your time :+] I also made a Google Slide of all the little aesthetics and music I like if you'd like to go through that. I need to update it though but maybe I'll do that next year and leave this one as a 2023 diary

Again, thank you for your time 🫶

[basicallyaturtle]

interested in a magic system that delineates the world into three composite parts, inspired by two Proto-Indoeuropean roots for fire *h₁n̥gʷnis and péh₂wr̥ and also the flame of Udun and Fire of Anor in LOTR

so something that always catches my line of thought for a minute whenever I watch/read LOTR is when Gandalf makes his speech to the balrog and mentions two different fires, the aforementioned anor and udun. udun is sindarin for hell and anor is sindarin for sun, so this distinction makes sense, but it always feels weird to basically have two 'types' of fire that oppose each other. This idea of light being a godly thing and fire being a hell thing is well in line with the Christianity of Tolkien, but to think of both of them as a fire or a flame kinda scratches my brain in a certain way.

as for the Proto-Indoeuropean root, as far as I can understand, the first is generally used to describe fire as an animate thing, and has descendants in Agni in Sanskrit and ignis in Latin, and the second describes for more as a substance, which gives us words like Greek pur and English fire

I want to look more thoroughly into linguistic sources for that jsut to learn more and because wiktionary sucks ass at giving like any actual useful information, but that's besides the point and basically where the inpiration ends, just that there are two different words for fire, connotating different things. the idea doesn't even line up with the two words' connotations, it was just kind of an inspiration of the idea

anyway so the actual idea is that the two types of fire, one that is consumptive, which mostly lines up with our real world idea of fire, and one that is is life giving or energizing. So actual real world fire would be mostly consumptive, but it does give off warmth so not entirely. on the flipside, the sun would be mostly the other, but it also scorches and causes drought, so not entirely. and the idea is that these two are actual physical substances, well not actually physical but they are substantive, like electricity or something, like they're things that exist. Neither is bad or good, both are necessary for existence, though of course one has a generally negative connotation simply because living beings tend to like the things that give life and dislike things that cause pain and stuff, but in principle both are completely neutral

Those are two of the things that make up the world, the third being some inert substance that is the actual matter of the world. In it's purest form this would be something like stone, it's just some solid thing with structure. The material properties of all things, basically what distinguishes one material from another, depend on the exact amount of each flame that is inhabited by it's matter, and the structure of that flame composition or like how incorporated it is. I haven't thought of what that means in detail, like how the people that hold this world view/practice this magic would actually describe the 'structure' but in my head I imagine it like a lattice and there are like intricacies to how the flames interweave with each other and with the matter.

I also imagine whatever culture this belief stemmed from is biiig on metal smithing. like stereotypically speaking it would be a dwarven type culture, big on mining and smithing and craftwork, and the forge is the center of it, a perfect amalgam of all three universal constituents.

I've worked out some game mechanic-y stuff since I want this to be a ttrpg thing, but even separate from that just practical ways this influences the world and the history of those people that follow the practice and just happen to be nearby as well. for the source culture for example, their desire to delve deeper into caves to look for better and less common materials for smithing and the like also meant they needed to find ways to get food that far down, which they can do by infusing the stone in the correct manner to produce arable soil. How I've described here is incredibly simplified and it took a long period of scientific innovation to get to that point, but the point is that was a big driving force in becoming predominantly subterranean.

anyway that last bit probably was just a tangent and not really related to the big picture but yeah I think this is a neat idea and I have many thoughts and no organization that is all

[2stregafangirl]

Please tell us your name

Yuri Arisato

When is your birthday?

June 2

Your blood type

B positive

Would you please tell us about your three sizes?

I-I’m not revealing that kinda information here!

Would you tell us about your family composition?

Yes I can, it’s just me Minato Hamuko and Kimiko now, I midly like Minato and I especially look up to Hamuko she’s like a motherly figure to me, as for Kimiko she may be annoying at times but I still love her family is family you know?

What’s your occupation?

Average overworked studious high school student

Favorite food?

Sticky buns

Favorite subject?

Math

Least favorite subject?

PE

Is there a boy you’ve been thinking about?

Well.. Akihiko is pretty cute and responsible not to mention those muscles of his… I’m to scared to confess to him, plus he’s my senior i can’t do that.

Do you enjoy School?

A lot! since I do well in a lot of my classes ( except PE)

Do you attend any clubs?

I’m part of the student council along with Mitsuru if that counts.

What are Your special skills?

My ability to rationalize and make decisions plan out things and strategize, my proficiency with my chainsaw during Tartarus

What are your shortcomings?

Not having the courage to ask Mitsuru Akihiko or Ryoji out

Your current obsession?

Writing how I feel in my diary it’s very therapeutic, though I am trying art, also magical girl shows and Pokémon.

Are there any foods you dislike?

Not really, I appreciate whatever is on my plate.

Your favorite drink

Tea no questions ask.

Anything you want currently?

To marry Mitsuru or Akihiko so I can protect them.

What do you eat for breakfast?

Usually sausage and eggs, and sometimes a small dessert if I’m feeling lucky.

Are you an outside or an indoor type?

Indoors, it helps me to focus on my schoolwork.

Do you have a cellphone?

Why yes I do, my fliphone is my prized possession because it allows me to communicate with Mitsuru or Akihiko, I tend to talk to them a lot since I trust them very much.

Your favorite sports?

Bowling, I like planning to strike all the pins down.

How well can you cook?

Extremely well! I often have the other S.E.E.S. members complimenting me on my food, including Mitsuru and Akihiko.

Do you ever quarrel with your mother?

My mother is dead so no..

what’s the name of your school uniform

The Gekkoukan high uniform

Anything you could never forgive?

I forgive people for most things, it would have to take vile acts or despicable behavior for me not to forgive someone after all I’m a forgiving person.

Your dreams?

Becoming a lawyer or a prosecutor or an accountant, I really don’t want anything grabs for my life.

Do you have any marriage desires?

.. I wish for my partner to care for me as I do for them, and also for them to apply themselves and not rely on me for everything and I’ll rely on them for certain things as well.

When do you wake up?

Usually in the morning when I’m supposed to get up.

Are you a bed person or a futon person

What are your thoughts on the Q&A?

I enjoyed it! thankfully their weren’t that many lewd questions.. you know how certain people can get when they see a attractive mildly muscular man…

[miekasa]

mie!! since u write such beautiful gorgeous astounding breathtaking life-changing tearjerking fics, do YOU have any good fic recs that you personally love 🤔

I do! I have a whole blog of wonderful fics I’ve read (tho I desperately need to update it/reblog the ones in my drafts and tag them) @ackermeun for more if you want because there are many lovely, talented writers; but I’ll list a few of my faves for Levi and Eren below 😌😌

Levi

kiss me more by @vennilavee

Now, I could recommend you anything and everything by Saran and I have no doubt that you would love all of it. There’s not a single thing in her masterlist that I dislike, she even made me okay with the idea of pegging Levi bye. The entire tbah universe (specifically parental moments one) has a special place in my heart, but recently the perpendicular world has been on my mind, and might be coming for number one. Either way, you’re gonna love it. She writes Levi in his slightly bitchy, kinda needy, implicitly affectionate, true to nature form, and I am so grateful for it. Also, Saran is a comedian. 

silver soul by @oi-levi (now posting from @bibblelevi)

I suck at keeping up with series, and, so, naturally, I’m terribly behind on this one, but I’m gonna go ahead and rec the whole thing to you anyway, because I have no doubt that the other chapters are just as great the two I’ve read so far. The way she writes Levi... when I tell you I could wrap myself up in a blanket and binge this whole series, and her entire masterlist, and be very content I mean it; her writing feels warm, that’s the only way I can explain it. 

the art of tea composition by @karikarasuno

I don’t remember how or when I found this fic exactly, probably just scrolling through the tag, but I love it. Domestic fluff with Levi, allowing me to pretend I’m a morning person, and just the right kind of smut to go with it. Simple and very, very effective. I’ve reread it a few times by now, no shame.

where you’re meant to be by @deludedimagines

After you read this, I also suggest just going after the whole masterlist. I cannot express how grateful I am to have found this blog PLEASE. Her characterization of Levi is perfect, and something about her prose feels very clean and simple, but elevated and layered at the same time. This one-shot in particular is one of my favorite canonverse pieces, I’m a sucker for a classic injured lover trope. 

the ones who matter most by @deludedimagines

Yeah... this shouldn’t be a surprise. Fantastic writing, fluff in canonverse has a special place in my heart because I think it can be really hard to pull off well; it’s difficult to balance a sense of softness within the aot universe for the obvious reasons, and getting Levi’s caring nature right can be (unfortunately) so hard to find. Good thing people like Sorcha are here. Enjoy more fluff. Also this fic is particularly fantastic to me not just because of the injured lover trope, but because the 104th babies pay a visit and you all know how much I love a good glimpse of reluctant adoptive dad Levi hehe

bullet by @jean-does-not-have-a-horseface

If you can’t tell by now, I love canonverse fluff, tho this fic isn’t fluff in the traditional sense, but I think that makes it all the much better. Perfect depiction of real life shit that would go down in the aot world paired with Levi’s need to protect his s/o. It’s fantastic. 

the knife by @therealvalkyrie

I didn’t mean to turn this into Mie’s Favorite Canon Fics Showcase, but here we are anyway. As much as I love a good injured lover trope (and this does have that hehe), I love a good kickass reader insert, too. Shoutout to Valkyrie for included both in this fic, and Levi being proud of his s/o... well you can imagine how much I liked that bye

dante’s inferno by @alrightberries

College au + roommates au with Levi... that should be enough for you to read this lmfao, no but actually it’s adorable. Not to mention friends to lovers... if you know me you know how I feel about that, I’ll gobble up every f2l fic until I’m dead and gone. Not to mention there’s a cat and Levi won’t admit he likes it, or he’s jealous of it. Simply cannot go wrong here. 

waves know shores by @onwiings

Bro I don’t even like the idea of public sex and I’m not even a fan of water like that but this fic has me wrapped around it’s pinky lmfaoooo. Some of the best Levi smut I’ve read and you already know how I feel when Levi and reader have cute interactions with the 104th in fics. Really it’s checking every item on my list. 

Eren

speed racer by @emeren

I’m pretty sure I found this fic during my midterms last semester, and when I tell you I’m so grateful for it lmaooo. It’s really just a good au, I think it fits Eren (honestly barking at just the concept) and the writing brings it all to life. 

under the moonlight by @murmikaa

I’d have to be dumb not to recommend this to you. I love reading longer fics, and if you do, then this will 100% satisfy you. The whole story is great and immersive, not just between Eren and the reader; their relationships with the other characters are really what makes this special imo. There’s also beach sex, so. Obviously it’s good. 

untitled.avi by @puredivinity (now @celestidarling)

Naur you must of thought wrong if you thought at least one of Mara’s fics wouldn’t be here. I’m obsessed, I think I’ve read it three times minimum. I read all her Eren fics, and you should too. She writes him in such a dreamy way, almost like he’s right there and too good to be true that you must be hallucinating. Immaculate. 

midnight snacks by @writertitan

Dumb, college-typical antics and fluff with Eren... obviously you know I’m about that. The whole concept is so mundane, but so cute, you can’t help but fall for it because it could be so real!! I love that kinda stuff hehe 

i’m your satellite by @ackerfics

Comparing hand sizes with Eren!! YEAAAAH!! No, okay, but I read the summary and was ready to dive in because... size kink go crazy, but when I tell you I was so blown away to find out that it was not only from Eren’s pov, but that he was being a complete simp and down terrible the whole time. Normalize boyfriends being completely fucking in love with their gfs that simple shit like the size of their hand makes them wanna simp even harder!!!!

eren as an ass man by @hznji

I’m dying on the hill that Eren is an ass guy and you should too because it’s the objective truth. Fluff, Eren being a complete dog as per usual, Eren’s being touchy (I will also die on the hill that he’s touchy as fuck and has no concept of personal space) and just in genral snarky but cute banter. Gotta love that. 

Jean

tears over beers by @appplepii

When I tell you this is my favorite Jean fic, I mean it. Friends to lovers with hopelessly pining Jean + oblivious reader = everything I could have asked for in a fic, AND it’s from Jean’s pov too!!! INCREDIBLE!!! The pining made me yearn, and the smut was so well done, too. 

this drabble by @arlerted

Whatever, whatever, WHATEVER!!! I DON’T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!!! Cal is right, don’t do drugs but... this mf... this imagine.... has been burned into my mind since the first time I fucking read it bye. Callie also writes a bunch of filthy (affectionate <3) fics and drabbles and lewds and you should read them, preferably when you’re alone and with the lights off. 

[kwxeden]

hey everyone! i’m here with eden han, photography nerd, band nerd, just a nerd loser in general... with a passion! he’s a photography major, loves to take pictures of many things including the people around him, easily inspired. chances are if you’re a friend, you’re in his dslr camera gallery. president of the photography club! he’s also a pitcher in the baseball team. what else, what else... right, he’s also a guitarist. a guy with a lot of hobbies. if he seems familiar, then shhhhhh.

here’s his profile page! bio pages are overrated (read: i did not have the time to make one) so i’ll be listing things about him under the cut. i’ll also make a plots page... one of these days! if you’re interested in plotting, please like this post and i’ll crawl my way into your ims (i also have twitter/discord upon request) ♡

was born and raised in vancouver, canada up until his high school graduation

took ap classes + summer classes so he’s able to graduate high school earlier than most students, hence he’s a young 3rd year undergrad

in middle school, he made a band with ( @kwjun​ ) called “losers who are learning to love themselves”, really hammering that losers club aesthetics! he’s trying to revive it right now with a new lineup

is the lead guitarist and main vocalist! 

had been into photography since he was elementary school. his older brother bought him a toy camera and ever since, he finds himself enamored by the idea of capturing fleeting moments into the lenses of his camera and ‘immortalizing a second’

joined a lot of photography competitions/events back then! won a few, lost a few, he’d end up in second place sometimes. he’d still sign up for them now in uni when he can

left canada and flew to kr to leave... something behind... but ironically...

love starved, touch starved, affection starved—and he throws all of that into music composition. all the songs he writes are about yearning

tries to be a good person. tries to be a good anything to everyone. sometimes he tries a little too hard

he has a fairly unhealthy view on love and relationships/friendships in that he’d be bending over backwards for people but won’t let people do the same for him because... that’s just how he is? hm. we’ll check back later

composed most of the time. calm and teasing smile, unreadable eyes—kinda hard to break him! even if someone’s clearly hostile with him he’d just be amused

loves to love and loves to be in love but doesn’t think about being loved

very much the type to go along with anything/anyone as long as they like him/want him whether it be in terms of friendship or more

LOVES to tease. to the point it might sound flirtatious, but he’s never the one to start it. once someone hits him with something though, he takes it as a challenge to one-up and tease back x100 worse

a social drinker! likes to drink with friends... he might end up saying so much shit

also a puppy

one way to describe him is he’s like the combination of every day6 song in one human being

plot ideas... the Bare Minimum(TM)

canada friends, for obvious reasons

people who dislike him, or just want to get a rise out of him, or any type of negative reaction but nothing works LMFAO

someone who accidentally ends up in his camera roll and he’s like ‘oh, sorry, you were just pretty and the background was good and it was reflex’

other music geeks, other losers, other nerds, other photographers... etc. shared interests are always fun

flirt wars......... whoever wins gets whatever they want

messy parties... anything can happen at parties ;)

someone who actually listens to his band’s music and appreciate it/is a fan of it. alternatively someone who doesn’t get wtf is up with his band and WHY is he calling himself a loser

friends... not friends... enemies... fwbs... ENEMIES with benefits... i’ll throw him at anything

idk. please take him. i want him out of my brain

give me ideas and brainstorm with me and i’ll love u forever i am sooo easy to please and bait this is a promise

[halehavetogosometime]

omo shipping meme: witcher

Any of y’all kinky bastards into the Witcher yet?

If you’ve wandered here from elsewhere: here be Omorashi. That’s kink to do with pee, folks.

This is an interesting meme to do in this fandom, since it’s not anything close to a contemporary time period. Some stuff didn’t seem to apply at all, so I modified/removed prompts as seemed appropriate.

So here’s my take for Geralt and Jaskier:

--- Who wets because they didn’t want to get up from a video game/computer/work or other activity?

Obvs no video games, but I can see plenty of situations where Jaskier gets, like, super involved in composition, maybe... or, better, is performing someplace, for important folks mebbe, and has some close calls because the banquet goes on so long without a break or whatever. But I would think the hit to his reputation from wetting himself while in the spotlight would be much greater than insisting the musicians get a break, so i wouldn’t think there’d be many actual accidents.

Geralt, however, has definitely pissed himself in the course of a fight/his work and gives 0 fucks about that. it’s not even harder to clean off his clothes/leathers/etc than monster guts, so what the fuck ever.

--- Who insists they can hold it even when they can’t?

Def Jaskier. Like, I can see a scenario where Geralt would do this playfully if they were doing a hold for fun or as part of a sex game or smth. But genuinely? Jaskier is more likely.

though I also accept the take that Jaskier is obnoxious as hell when he needs to pee but can’t right then, and would never put himself through the pain of prolonging the torture, insisting he was chill when he was actually uncomfortable... and yeah, I can see acerbic Geralt in a situ, maybe at some kind of feast or ball where  he can’t just rudely walk away, for fear of reflecting poorly on Jaskier, and he’s no notion how to get away without being rude, so he’s just... he’s fine. he’ll be fine. he can hold forever-- it’ll be fine.

fuk.

--- Who pees in a bottle because they didn’t want to leave their warm bed at night?

I mean, is that not what a chamber pot is? And this is the era of chamber pots. And they both have dicks. I can see somebody making an argument for Geralt, with his canonically advanced sense of smell, preferring not to have waste just sitting around where he’s gonna sleep... but honestly, urine can’t smell worse than monster guts, so, again, I doubt he gives a fuck.

--- Who doesn’t pay attention to their fluid intake?

Jaskier probs. I would think that Geralt is usually hyper-aware of whether or not his body is in optimum condition. When it’s your primary tool/weapon, and you could be in a fight for your life at literally any time... it’d have to be some kind of extenuating circumstance to catch Geralt off guard.

But I can see Jaskier, high on good fun/food/company/wine being caught by surprise as he suddenly is quite full, out of nowhere.

--- Who has the larger bladder?

Geralt for almost certain. Like, Jaskier is a performer and traveler, probs used to good long stretches without prime opportunity for relief, he’s probs no slouch... but Geralt is literally a mutant bred to be physically superior.

--- Who is more likely to have a shy bladder?

Neither, both too pragmatic and comfortable in their own skins, probs. But I could see arguments for either, if an author wanted to go there.

I can see an argument for Jaskier, just because he can be a nervy little dude sometimes, so is the one more likely to experience the kind of anxiety that might cause such a thing (and he’s the one who insists it was unfair of somebody to kill that knight dude while he was “relieving his bowels, is nothing sacred anymore???” XD), perhaps especially while out on the road with Gerlat, where every stray noise in the underbrush might be a monster ready to bite his dick off or something.

And I can see an argument for a hyper vigilant Geralt, who struggles with getting comfortable/secure enough to take a piss, knowing he was uniquely vulnerable during such a time, and working so hard, so often, to NOT be vulnerable to all the shit that would gladly see him dead.

(I can also see a scenario for either one where they struggled with paruresis as a young person, and overcame it, and are caught by unfortunate surprise when it comes back, later in life, for no good/apparent reason)

--- Who will only use an appropriate facility?

Again, the time of chamber pots, I bet most folks have a real loose definition of what constitutes an appropriate facility. One could make an argument for Jasier, city person that he is, vastly preferring designated facilities... but again, he travels, and there are only bushes for “rest stops” between towns, so if he ever felt that way, he’s probs long since gotten over it.

I could actually see an argument for Geralt the other direction. like, he is mostly comfortable pissing in the woods, and actually finds it uncomfortable to do suck things indoors at all... or maybe just really dislikes the smell.

--- Who is more likely to have a holding kink?

Jaskier strikes me as the kinkier mf. like, I can totes see omo as a thing he’s low-key a bit into, like, he kinda digs being forced to hold during a performance, and then once they’re on the road together, he’s gotta play his interests real cool. but once he and Geralt are fucking, then I def can see him bringing it up, either trying to get Geralt to kind of dom him a bit and make him wait, or, shit, maybe getting Geralt to agree to wait.

I can see Geralt that way too, though. like, he spends a lot of time real focused on the state of his body, yeah? so I can see him approaching omo as, like, a way to challenge himself. like, “I can’t control the chaos, but I can control myself”, etc. in that scenario, once Jaskier works out that it’s, like, a sexy thing for Geralt, I put Jaskier 110% down to experiment/play with that.

  --- Who challenges the other to holding contests?

In the same vein as above, it seems like the kind of contrary, kinky shit Jaskier would do. But also Jaskier would have to know that Geralt was likely to beat him. so Either Jaskier finds the who situ hot enough to be worth the loss...

Or it’d be Geralt. Not explicitly phrasing it as a contest, but more goading Jakier into it subtly.

--- How would each react to having an accident?

I think Geralt, as mentioned above, really wouldn’t care. Were it to happen in a way that inconvenienced Jaskier or someone, or happen at a ball/feast/party etc mebbe he’d be a bit shamefaced, but in general, that will not be the grossest thing to happen to him this week, so I don’t think he cares much.

I think Jaskier, vain hedonist that he is, is more likely to be genuinely embarrassed or humiliated, and probably play it off with humor.

But in most situ, they’ve got bigger stuff to worry about, and hygiene at this point in “history” is low enough, (and their professions, I cannot state enough, involve being in close proximity to animals/wildlife/monsterguts), I don’t think it’s the sort of thing that would ruin either of their days for very long.

--- How would each react to the other being desperate/having an accident?

I think Geralt would find Jaksier in that position a bit funny or obnoxious based on the situation (and whether he had a kink), but likely would do his best to help him eventually, as he does with most things. (unless it was Jaskier being stubborn/prideful/arguing with Geralt that led to the situ, in which case Geralt would probs be quite happy to let the sucker piss himself, and serve him right).

Roles reversed, I think Jaskier’s first response would be surprise/incredulity to see the Witcher that far out of control. he’s quite protective of Geralt in his turn, however, so again, depending on the situ, he’d be helpful, likely.

--- Who is more likely to wet because of anxiety/fear?

Jaskier, 100%. I’m not sure Geralt experiences fear intensely enough most of the time to get to that point.

--- Who is more likely to wet deliberately?

Jaskier, if part of some kinky game, I think. Geralt in a fight/if it serves some purpose.

[gossamer-scraps]

How I usually set up raid groups:

I wrote this post back in May and never did anything with it, but I figure it could be helpful to someone. It should be mostly up to date with current balance, but I may have missed something.

0: Is It A Boon Thief Boss or Split Largos If it's a boon thief boss, see Appendix A. If split Largos, see appendix C.

1. Quickness and Alacrity (see here, also)

a quickness firebrand or StM chrono in each subgroup and an alacrity renegade or 2 RR rens anywhere

an inspiration boon chronomancer for subgroup A, a quickness firebrand or StM chrono for subgroup B, and an alacrity renegade or 2 RR rens anywhere

("firebrigade")

a boon chronomancer for subgroup A, the other subgroup has 5 DHs with FMW, and an alacrity renegade or 2 RR rens anywhere

everyone in one subgroup with a 10manquicknesschrono (not tanking) and an alacrity renegade or 2 RR rens

2 boon chronomancers in different subgroups.

The boon extension from the chronomancer makes the firebrigade setup capable of the highest (120%+) boon uptimes, to the extent of overkill and some loss of group damage output.

2: Might and Spirits (and Protection)

a druid

a dagger/warhorn heal tempest, and ideally one of your DPS is a soulbeast

a boon tempest (this is very rare), and ideally one of your DPS is a soulbeast

While there are other ways to get might, these are very efficient. If you have a staff heal tempest who insists they can cover might, let them (it's not that difficult). Tell the soulbeast to take frost/sun spirit as appropriate, of course.

3: Fury

Split the 5-player fury generating classes among the subgroups. These primarily include druid, firebrand, and boon chronos who have pack runes. You need not bother if you have any of these 10-player options:

a druid with storm spirit who uses the active off cooldown

a DPS herald with draconic echo

a dagger/warhorn heal tempest

4: More Healing than Step 2 Provided, if Desired

Replace a quickness build with a healbrand.

Replace an alacrity renegade with a heal renegade.

Replace a DPS with a heal tempest/scourge/firebrand/renegade/scrapper/etc.

Replace a DPS with a heal druid; this is usually not an amazing idea as their healing output is pretty low.

5: Banners They're a thing. You want them.

6: Subgroup Optimization (besides quickness) None of this is amazingly important; if you want to use subgroups for a mechanic or whatever, go for it. Put DHs together and put power classes with the power renegade; the rest is beyond the scope of this post.

Appendix A: it's a boonthief boss Either follow the above, **or** use a boon daredevil or boon thief to cover everyone's quickness, 20-25 might, and every other boon but alacrity. Subgroups are now irrelevant and you must cover alacrity, healing, and ideally spirits with a [heal renegade or alacrity renegade] and a [soulbeast, or a druid who can if desired take lingering light for more heals], plus however many extra healers you want. You may need supplemental might, but probably not.

On anything but Adina, I'd personally only do this if I had a boon daredevil honestly since core thief isn't that strong. Boon daredevil comps are incredibly good, though.

Appendix B: Tanks Anyone can tank almost every boss with a tank mechanic. It's entirely down to who can survive any incoming damage. If you're relying on seize the moment for quickness, don't have that chrono tank, however, as they must be in the group. Boon chronos, healbrands, and any healer class with some minstrel gear make excellent tanks, though you can also stick trailblazer on any condi class and do fine.

Appendix C: Boss-Specific Random Stuff You Might Not Know

VG: I think the ideal number of condi players is probably 2, though of course it's not a big deal however many you have.

Sab: Solo druid kiter is probably not worth it if you don't have an extremely strong druid player.

Matthias: The safest reflect strategy IMO is have 2 feedbacks and use them both at once. "Backup" doesn't buy you much of anything.

Xera: Avoid applying confusion to avoid getting it converted to retaliation. If your shard clear is unreliable, consider avoiding condi builds entirely. High DPS makes this fight way easier; prioritize it.

Cairn: I haven't found a reliable support setup for slow cairn yet; firebrand quickness radius and druid heal radius are kinda small. Use a staff tempest kiter if you don't have solid damage.

MO: I highly recommend either having a scourge epi or instructing people to let the adds by and using protect on them unless your group is very good.

Samarog: Extra healing can cover for bad CC. I kind of like double druid here to be honest, weird as that is, for the breaks, burst heals, and double entangle, but other offhealers are good too.

Deimos ranged: I dislike double chrono here, as mediocre boons result in nothing to SoI which results in terrible boons. Other setups don't rely on SoI nearly as much. Don't have your solo druid kite oil unless they're a really strong player. Staff tempest is the safest oil kiter if there are issues.

SH: Lots of ups and downs to every possible setup here.

River: More than half healers is totally reasonable. Leave 3 people with Desmina if splitting, because why not. Druid is pretty bad here.

Eyes: Don't have your only quickness sources throw (idk why people do this). Double druid is good, of course, to stun; elementalist has a stun trait in air as well.

Dhuum: Usually the warrior does green 1, the kiter does green 2 if experienced, and an offchono, a DPS, or the druid in double druid comps does green 3. More details are beyond the scope of this post.

Largos: Because you have to split, double druid double illusions chrono is hard to beat. Make druids both take sun/stone/storm if you don't have another source of vuln. Warrior vs no warrior is a tossup; I lean toward no since it's slower where the timer can actually kill you.

Qadim1: Run as many daredevils as possible. Send 2 people on the first 2 lamps unless your solo lamp person is ridiculously, obscenely fast. More details are beyond the scope of this post.

Gate: Have someone template swap so you have ≥2 healers at the end for safety.

Adina: I'm unconvinced boonthief is worth it. Ventari renegade is awesome (and may as well healren then.)

Sabir: Ventari renegade is awesome (and may as well healren then.)

Qadim2: Overload on boon strip and healing. If you have a/some scourge kiters and a/some deadeye kiters, have the scourge's pylons eaten first so they get might from the group sooner. Druids and renegades should be breaking; don't put it all on the warrior.

Figured I may as well write this up for those interested in leading groups! Of course there are viable raid compositions that wouldn't result from this, and you certainly don't have to think about things this way, but it's the thought process I usually go through in order to come up with something reasonable.

[emperorsfoot]

“Genetic Composite” is finally complete. 

Hope it doesn’t disappoint. 

If you like this one, look for the next installment of the series coming soon! 

“A Song of Steel and Light” 

...

Rising to consciousness slowly. Acutely aware of body pain. Eyes opening slowly. Groaning. Catra pushed herself up into a sitting position.

Or rather, she would have pushed herself up into a sitting position if she weren’t tied up and restrained.

“What the hell!?” Catra exclaimed.

She looked down at herself. Arms and legs bound together with what looked like First Ones tech. Like the cuffs the Horde used on prisoners, but far more advanced. Catra wasn’t sure she could figure out how to gimmick her way out of them. But it wasn’t just her wrists and ankles, strong cables were also wrapped around her arms and knees so that her range of motion was even further restricted. Whoever had tied her up wasn’t taking any chances. Catra flopped for a moment. Rather like a fish out of water.

“What is this!?” She demanded of what appeared to be an empty room of the First Ones ship.

The last thing she remembered was her fight with Hordak. But… she’d won that fight. She left Hordak for dead and walked away.

No… that wasn’t the last thing she remembered. After leaving Hordak to bleed out, she went outside and… Adora was there. Adora was always there. Of course she was there. Why wouldn’t she be there? But Adora wasn’t alone… Entrpata was with her… Entrapta whom Catra was sure she sent to Beast Island. Entrapta couldn’t be here. In the Crimson Waste. That had to be some sort of hallucination. Shock from her fight with Hordak.

Except… if Entrapta really was on Beast Island, and was not here in the Crimson Waste, how had python squeezed her until she passed out?

How did Catra end up in her current circumstances?

The door to the room she was in slid open and Scorpia walked in. Scorpia. Catra hadn’t seen her in almost a month. Not since the portal exploded and she fled the Fright Zone. Not since… not since Catra tazed Entrapta in the back when turned that very same tazer on Scorpia and threatened that she’d be next if she didn’t do as Catra said.

What was Scorpia doing here now?

“Hey… Wild Cat…” She began awkwardly, almost hesitantly. Almost as if Scorpia didn’t really know what to say and was just talking for talking’s sake. She did that a lot. Just talk. Without actually saying anything. “I’m glad Entrapta didn’t kill you. But, ya know what they tell us in basic training, people pass out before they die. Glad you’re awake.”

“Scorpia! I’m so glad you’re here!” Catra plastered a smile on her face, thinking fast. Scorpia always admired her. Scorpia would help her. “Untie me, quick! Let’s get out of here before Adora realizes-“

“Oh… this is awkward…” The other woman sucked in a breath. She scratched the back of her head with one large pincer, unsure of what to say. “See… I kinda… helped Bow tie you up. Apparently, the first time he captured you made him a little overly cautious. Wanted to make sure whatever restraints we used couldn’t be easily cut through. He wanted to gag your mouth too, but I wanted us to be able to talk. I feel like we need to talk.” A pause. “I want to talk.”

Catra looked away, avoiding the other woman’s eyes. The last time they exchanged words, Catra had a weapon pointed in Scorpia’s face and threatened her.

She gave a humorless laugh. “Usually, Adora’s the one who tries to make me see the error of my ways.”

Scorpia opened her mouth to say something, then quickly closed it again. She pursed her lips and looked away. “I never really liked Adora. Not that I disliked her, per say… I don’t dislike many people. But… I was jealous of her. How you only ever seemed to care about her. Whenever she showed up on any of our missions, your attention only focused on her. She left us, left the Horde. Defected. Became an enemy. But you would drop everything and focus all your attention and our resources on her.” Scorpia looked off, eyes not really focused on anything. “There was once a time when I wished you would look at me with that level of attention and intensity. I would have cut off my own tail for that…”

“But not now.” Catra finished the part of the statement Scorpia left unsaid.

The other woman looked almost heartbroken. “No.” She agreed. “Not now.”

An uncharacteristic silence lapsed between them. Catra could barely remember a time when she and Scorpia were in the same room together and the scorpion Princess didn’t fill the air with her chatter. Now, here they were, Catra tied up and no where to go. At Scorpia’s mercy. Scorpia said she wanted to talk.

But she was silent.

“Where’s Adora?” Catra finally asked, if for no other reason to break the silence.

“And you’re still asking about her…” Scorpia shook her head. “I… I didn’t think I should tell you this, but, since you asked… Adora’s not gonna come to see you. I mean, she’s gonna help Bow gag you and strap you to Swift Wind so they can take you back to Brightmoon. But she’s not gonna talk to you. She’s- she says she’s ‘so done’ with you. She did not elaborate.”

Catra looked down, remembering Adora’s eyes, and the look she gave her after they came back from the portal. When Hordak’s Sanctum was crumbling and they had to run. Catra hung back to get one last look at Adora, to flash her a trademark smirk and taunt. But when she looked at Adora, she didn’t see the face of her best friend. The woman she grew up with. The woman who had always been there all her life. The woman she- -the woman who was always a significant source of feelings in her life.

Instead, all Catra saw was the face of an enemy. Glaring at her with eyes full of –not hatred- but resolve. Cold. Unfeeling. Resolute. Resolve. Adora was done with her. Adora was done caring. Adora was done trying to get her to change and see the error of her ways. Adora was done.

Adora had given up on her…

Clinching her teeth, Catra felt the pressure of tears beading in her eyes and she closed them as if that could keep herself from crying.

Adora was done with her.

“And what about you?” Catra asked, voice cracking just noticeably. “Are you done with me too?”

“I… would like to be.” Scorpia finally admitted. “After what you did to Entrapta… after you threatened me the same way…” she bit her lip, unsure of what she wanted to say, exactly… “We could have been happy, ya know! You and me! Just the two of us. Here. In the Crimson Waste. You were Boss. You had a gang. You had power, and influence. Control over your own life. We could have just stayed here! We could have been together and we could have been happy!” That last word was more snarled than spoke. “But you don’t want to be happy. Or you don’t know how. I donno what it is, but you… you don’t make smart decisions, Catra.”

The other woman scoffed. Unimpressed. “That’s your big revelation. The orphan girl raised to be a child soldier doesn’t make smart decisions. Wow. Really deep.”

“I was raised as a child soldier too.” Scorpia reminded her. “And so was your precious Adora. And so was Lonnie, and Rogelio, and Kyle. But we all make better decisions than you seem to. Lonnie is Commander of the Horde now. She’s ruling the Fright Zone, and –from what I saw- she’s doing a pretty decent job of it too. Kyle and Rogelio are helping. They’re being constructive. I don’t like Adora, but she has built and maintained meaningful relationships. She has true friends. But what do you have, Catra? What have you done? Our hard upbringings have made us strong, but what have you done with that strength? You have harmed yourself more than any other person, and you’ve chased away the people who would otherwise be there to help you.”

Catra continued to pout. Unimpressed. “So, what do you expect me to do. Break down and cry. Proclaim that I’ve seen the error of my ways. Promise to be a better person.” She gave a derogatory laugh.

Scorpia just shook her head, looking somber. Regretful. “You’re not gonna get to do anything, Wild Cat.” She informed the other woman. “Bow and Adora are taking you back to Brightmoon. They’re gonna keep you in the new prison they built there until your trial. I don’t know what trials are like in Brightmoon, but… if it was the Fright Zone, you would definitely definitely be executed.”

“Adora won’t let me die.” Catra swore. But her voice was hallow. Even she didn’t believe Adora would save her. Not this time. Not anymore. Not after the portal. Adora was done with her.

“I don’t know what’s gonna happen to you.” Scorpia told her. “I’m going with Entrapta back to Dryl, but I’ve told Bow that I wanna speak at your trial. I’ll defend you. But, it would help your case if you… made an effort to not be so terrible.”

Catra laughed. Cackled, actually. Finding humor in the suggestion. “Oh, okay. I’ll just change my whole personality then. That’ll save my life.”

Pursing her lips, Scorpia decided not to comment that Catra basically just admitted to having a terrible personality. Instead, she looked away. “I’m going to help you, Catra, but I’m also going to abide by whatever decision this trial makes. I can’t save you.” She stood to exit the room. “We’re gonna keep you in here until everyone’s ready to leave. Still tied up, of course. Don’t want you shocking anyone else in the back. Shout if you need to pee or something. I can help you with that.”

She left.

Catra was left alone.

With her thoughts.

…

Entrapta watched the monitors carefully. Heart rate, blood pressure, repertory function, nitrogen levels in the bloodstream, neural function. Everything read normal for a ‘mature adult Revenanti beta’ –which Entrapta assumed was the alien species Hordak was cloned from.

Imp petered around. Fluttering on his wings, or lurking in the cables in the ceiling. Always keeping his master in his line of sight. Master was alive. But he wasn’t awake, and he was still injured. Master couldn’t heal on his own. It was part of his defects. Wounds did not close on their own. Tissues did not repair themselves. Skin did not knit back together.

Leaning over the exam table, Imp chittered with concern.

“The machines are doing their job.” Entrapta informed him, not looking up from where she was adjusting the flow of a saline drip. “This really is the most advanced medical technology I’ve ever seen. It must have been amazing when it was still new and fully functional.”

Dak also lurked close to the body on the table. Not interfering with the machinery, but still sticking close. Staring at the other Hordak. Examining the pointed ears, high forehead and strong brow ridge, and vertical nasal cavity, thin lips, and square chin. All features Dak themself had. “He looks like me.”

“You look like him.” Entrapta corrected.

Dak lowered their eyes. Things with Mother were awkward from the first moment, but after she asked them to give some of their blood for the older Hordak… Bow and Scorpia seemed to think it was a much more significant demand than it was. All Mother took was only a few milliliters. They were acting like she was going to… kill them. Dak didn’t know what to think.

“This is the Hordak I was made for.” They were more reminding themself than speaking to Entrapta. This was the being they were made for. A clone of this Hordak. A spare body. Never meant to gain conscious thought of their own. Never meant to develop an identity. Never meant to be themself. Only a spare for Hordak.

“Yes.” Entrapta nodded, she lowered her welding mask over her face, although she was not welding anything at the moment and there was no need for the mask to be down. “And you helped me save him.”

For some reason, this did not seem to please the young hybrid. “It’s what I was made for.”

Imp fluttered over to perch on the clone’s head and give a reassuring squawk. Sure, they were made for a purpose. To serve another. But so was the original Hordak, and so was Hode. So were all the clones of Horde Prime. So were just clones in general. But something that Imp had learned through his own experiences with multiple clones, was that they were still their own people. Independent from what they were created for. Hode made his own decisions and forged his own alliances. Hordak built his own Empire and inspired his own singular friendship. Dak could do those things too. They were still young. All they needed was time.

Then the Hordak on the table groaned, and everyone forgot their own thoughts. All focus shifting to the body in the center of the room.

…

Clones rarely dreamed. Hordak had only had a handful of dreams in his lifetime. But it always felt strange waking from a dream, as opposed to waking from a dreamless sleep. A strange kind of disorientation. Not knowing what was reality and what was still the last vestiges of the dream clinging to his psyche.

Hode had been in the dream. And more of that absurd song he performed at their first meeting. Mist and music. A meeting and a parting. Hordak felt like something important happened in the dream, but –now that he was awake- he realized he couldn’t remember.

Slowly, he opened his eyes.

An unfamiliar ceiling peered down on him.

An array of machinery that looked similar to the kind in a Horde Imperial med bay, but just different enough to be identified as alien technology, not Imperial technology. It took his sluggish brain a few more moments to realize that this was the Infirmary in the First Ones ship. It was First Ones tech staring down at him. Catra must have changed her mind and decided to save his life after nearly killing him.

A shriek of joy startled Hordak, causing a spike in his heart rate. He tried to turn his head to the familiar sound. If he didn’t know any better, the shriek sounded like Imp. But Imp couldn’t possibly be here! His neck erupted with pain when he tried to turn his head. He was still wounded from Catra’s claws.

“Don’t move!” Commanded a voice that sounded like Entrapta’s. But that couldn’t be right either. Entrapta was on Beast Island. …Or dead. …At least… that’s what Catra told him. But, Catra could not be trusted. Sure enough, the tech Princess drifted into his field of vision. Welding mask over her face, but it was definitely her. She was using her magical prehensile hair to lift herself up over the exam table to peer down at him. “The First Ones tech is knitting synthetic skin graphs into you’re healthy skin to close the wounds. But this tech is old, so its running slow. Try not to move.”

Imp fluttered up and perched in her hair, squawking an agreement at him. Listen to the Princess. She knows what’s good for you. Even if you don’t.

Hordak just stared up at her. Glowing ruby eyes wide. He tried to reach a hand up to touch her, just to confirm that she was real. But he lowered it before any contact. He was afraid she was a hallucination, or another dream. He just came from meeting his old mentor. Why not see his lost Lab Partner next?

“You are… here.” He said instead. It was phrased as a statement, but pitched as a question. Was she really here?

It was impossible to read her expression with her welding mask down. But her voice sounded strained when she replied. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you. I- I got pulled away. Elsewhere…”

‘Pulled away elsewhere.’ Even to Hordak’s still near-death addled brain he heard she was censoring something. ‘Pulled away’, she was taken from him. Taken against her will. Possibly violently. ‘Elsewhere’, Beast Island. Perhaps Catra was not lying when she said that. But Lab Partner could not be contained. His Lab Partner was a force of nature. His Lab Partner did what she wanted, and if she wanted to return to him, she would.

She did.

Relaxing on the table, feeling safe in a way he hadn’t felt since he confessed his original and his defects to this native Princess and she built him new prosthetics to compensate for those deficiencies, Hordak fell back asleep. Allowing himself to rest while the old First Ones tech did what his own body could not do and mended his open wounds.

Tissues being repaired. What couldn’t be mended with his own body’s resources was replaced with synthetic tissue. After the tissues were repaired, the muscles, the artery walls, and when that was done, it was covered in a layer of skin, also synthetic. Identical to Hordak’s own skin in thickness and texture, but of a different color. He would bear the scars from his encounter with Catra for the rest of his life. More discoloration to add to those caused by his defects.

This time, when Hordak slept, he did not dream.

He awoke again feeling refreshed. Healthy. And powerful.

And rational.

Entrapta and Imp could not possibly have been here. Seeing then must have been the near-death experience equivalent of a fever dream. If Entrapta truly was sent to Beast Island, as Catra said, then she could not be here in the Crimson Wastes. In fact, she was probably already dead. If Entrpata hadn’t been sent to Beast Island, and had in fact betrayed him for the Princesses, she also would not be here in the Crimson Wastes. No matter what was true, Entrapta could not have been the one to put him in the Infirmary and heal his wounds.

Catra probably had one of her goons patch him up so that she coud put him back to work.

Except, if he couldn’t figure out First Ones tech, what made him think one of Catra’s desert rat underlings could?

Hordak sat up.

He was alone in the Infirmary. Hmph. He would have thought Catra would at least post a guard. Foolish.

Climbing off the table, he got his feet under him and looked around for his exo-suit. It was sitting on a counter next to the monitoring equipment. Someone had restored the First Ones crystal to its place on the collar and repaired the damage from his fight with Catra. Of course, if the former-Force Captain still needed him to work for her, he would need his armor returned to him and functioning. Someone had even gone the extra kilometer and sterilized it for him. The whole frame smelled of antiseptic, inside and out.

Hordak fastened it on over himself. Snapping everything into place as it was meant to be. When he finally locked the collar, he felt more like himself again. More like how he used to feel back in the Fright Zone before the portal debacle. Not quite ‘healthy’ but certainly ‘able’.

About to exit the infirmary to face Catra again, Hordak paused. Catching a glimpse of himself reflected in the blank crystal screen of a disused monitor. Turning he stared at his face in the reflection. His body could not heal. Not on its own. So it was not the fact that synthetic skin had been grafted onto his face and neck to close the wounds that was jarring. It was now everything looked all put together.

Long vertical marks where the gashes Catra opened up on his face and neck used to be. Wide scars, and bold in color. The synthetic skin graphs being a bright violent –not unlike the color of the crystal on his collar. They were a start contrast to the pale skin of his face and the darker gray-blue skin of his neck. They stood out. It wasn’t just that he had scars. It was that the scars to so very… bold. Not just noticeable, but eye-catching.

When he saw Horde Prime again, his Brother would see the scars first, and him second.

But then, Prime had a scar on his face too. A long diagonal slash across his face. Although, Prime looked like it had healed naturally. All his own skin and only slightly discolored within what was considered ‘normal’ for scar tissue. This was… not normal. Serviceable, yes. Practical, yes. Life-saving, yes. He would most definitely be dead with them. But not normal.

What would be tell Prime when his Brother followed his message and opened a portal?

Hordak’s eat twitched when he heard movement outside the Infirmary door. Probably Catra coming back, likely with minions in tow. Hordak braced himself. What would it be now? More intimidation, or another fight?

The door slid open.

“…I know, I just wanna check on-“ The speaker cut herself off abruptly, staring at him.

Hordak stared back at her. She and her companion where not who he was expecting. Not even considered a possibility.

“Former-Force Captain Adora.” He nodded, not quite knowing what else to do and wondering if this might be another hallucination brought on by his near-death experience. He saw a vision of Entrapta. Why not the fables She-Ra as well? Hordak stood, his arms folded behind his back at a parade rest and waited for the hallucination to pass.

“You’re up and moving.” She observed.

“So it would seem.” He replied, still not convinced she and her companion were real and here.

“You’re looking well.” Her companion smiled up at him. The Rebel archer Bow always did seem almost pathologically determined to be nice and make friends with everyone.

Hordak’s lip curled, unsure of how to respond. Did that statement even require a response? Hordak did not believe he looked ‘well’. By the standards of his own people –and probably those of the inhabitants of this rock- he was horribly and irrevocably disfigured.

There was a pause.

The last time Hordak saw these two, it was in his Sanctum, and they were fighting. Would they resume that battle now? Destroy this First Ones Infirmary –possibly the whole ship- like they destroyed his lab and base?

“So…” Bow began again, possibly sensing the energy in the room. How Hordak had gone tense anticipating a fight. “This is nice. Us, three former enemies, meeting and talking without pulling out any weapons or throwing… pillars…”

That was a curious statement. Hordak raised one confused brow ridge, peering down at the younger man. Did he say ‘former’ enemies? Hordak was unaware that he had made any treaties with the Rebels, or even just She-ra.

“Entrapta made a deal for you.” Adora announced. That alone was enough to shock him. Entrapta was alive. She was here. She bargained on his behalf. She hadn’t betrayed him! She did care! “I helped her save you, and we’re not gonna take you back the Brightmoon to answer for your crimes-“ there was a silent ‘yet’ in there “-and in return, Entrapta’s gonna work for us. She bought you your life with her service. I hope she didn’t make a bad deal.”

Adora did not think he was worth it.

“I’m gonna go get Entrapta.” She announced. “She can take him to Dryl before she comes to Brightmoon. Bow, stay here and keep an eye on him. Now that he’s mobile, I don’t want him left unattended.”

She left.

There was another pause.

Bow looked ever so slightly concerned to be left in charge of one of the most dangerous beings in all of Etheria. The archer swallowed a lump of nerves in his throat.

“You and Entrapta, huh.” He began awkwardly. “I mean, we all knew Entrapta had a thing for you. But, I mean, you looked really happy just now when Adora mentioned that she argued for you, so you gotta like her back, right? That is something I just can’t really see. I mean, I do see it. That’s why I believe it. But, I still can’t really see ut, ya know.” Bow was rambling. “You’re all ‘grr, rawr, arg, big scary Horde Lord’, and she’s like ‘robots, tiny food, First Ones, cute things’. I just… you two don’t seem to… fit…”

Hordak frowned at him. Not understanding.

“Not that that means you two can’t be together or anything!” Bow was quick to add. “From the outside, my dad’s don’t look like they would fit together either. Ones a well learned scholar who’s devoted his life to studying history and unraveling the mysteries of the First Ones, and the other is a battle hardened and war scarred soldier. From the outside, they don’t seem to have much in common. But, at home, they’re just… two pieces of a whole. They… complete each other. I guess, you and Entrapta must do that for each other too.”

Two pieces that came together to form something greater than the sum of its parts.

Hordak understood the concept even if he didn’t fully grasp its relevance within the context.

He was spared having to listen to more of the archer’s rambling when Entrapta burst through the door.

“You’re up!”

It was her. Really and truly her. All 130 centimeters of body, and a million kilometers of hair.

She flowed into the room through the door frame, moving on her hair almost like surfing on waves. Tendrils wrapped around him, pulling the clone off his feet. Measurements were taken. His heart beats per minute were counted. The synthetic skin graphs on his face and neck were examined. Hordak felt her breath on his skin and knew she had to be real. This was real. Not a hallucination. She was here. She had healed him. It had to be her. Adora wouldn’t have. Neither would Bow. But Entrapta would. Entrapta did.

“Fascinating.” She muttered. “Its knitted into you’re natural skin so well. It’s practically seamless. And I like the color.”

Well, at least someone did. Hordak was not quite so pleased with the cosmetic look. But if it kept him alive, it kept him alive. He had learned not to be picky about his life-saving adaptations.

“The muscles underneath should be similarly repaired.” Continued Entrapta, she was speaking to him, but her attention was focused on the marks. “Move your face.”

He tilted his head to the side.

“No, I mean, make an expression.” She had to clarify. As much as she had trouble understanding other people, other people had trouble understanding her. Hordak suffered from this less often than others, but that did not make him an exception to this rule. “Move your brows, or your cheeks. Use the muscles in your face. I need to confirm that they’re also healed.”

Obediently, Hordak raised one brow ridge, then the other. Lowered them both in a scowl. Pulled his cheeks back in a mock of a grin. Then turned the corners of his mouth down in a frown.

“Excellent.” Entrapta nodded with approval. “Bow was right. First Ones medical technology really is on par with Etherian healing magic.”

“You healed me after my battle with Catra.” Hordak confirmed. He did not want to have this conversation with an audience. Especially not a defector and a rebel. But he also needed to know. “But, how did you get here? Catra told me that she sent you to Beast Island.”

To his great surprise –and maybe just a little horror- Entrapta smiled. Wide. “Oh, Hordak, it was amazing!” She announced. “Did you know that the compound was a First Ones outpost when you converted the building into your prison? It’s fascinating. The whole place is an amplifier. Now, at the moment, its non-active. I have a hypothesis that it’s meant to amplify the power of the Runestone network and channel it somewhere. There’s this big mural outside the command room that shows Etheria with another planet inside an big infinity symbol. But there’re no other planets in Despondos. So there’s nowhere for it to channel the magic to. Isn’t it just so exciting!”

Lots of things were exciting right now. All the revelations. Dying. Coming back. Being healed. Confirming that she was still alive. Being reunited.

Just being around her energy and vivacity again was exciting.

Hordak was afraid that if he had any more excitement, he might have to sit down.

Then another voice joined the group.

Sounding like his own voice. Or, rather, sounding like the voice of any clone brother, only younger. Less mature. Higher in pitch and shallower in octave. A pre-adolescent voice. But also a Horde clone voice. That didn’t make any sense. Horde clones were hatched at the age of full adult maturity. There was no such thing as an ‘adolescent’ clone, and certainly no such thing as something as young as a pre-adolescent.

“Is he up?” It asked. “I want to meet him.”

Someone pushed their way between Adora and Bow.

Hordak froze. Not sure what he was seeing.

It looked like a clone brother. But… also not like a clone brother at all. It looked like how the clones looked when they were still in the tanks. Still going through the process of artificial aging. It looked like a brother that had been taken out of the tank before reaching maturity. But… all his own cloning attempts had failed. So, where did this little brother come from…?

“Hi. I’m Hordak.” It announced.

That proclamation sent another shock through his system. How dare this little… creature take his name from him! Names were something very personal for a clone. Only four at any given time were allowed to have their own names. They chose their names themselves. Crafting an identity for themselves. Something that fit them. That was unique to them. Their own. Their name. His name. Lord Hordak.

“You most certainly are not.” He informed the underdeveloped… brother.

The smaller creature just blinked up at him, almost as if they didn’t understand. As if no one had told them that they weren’t Hordak. As if this creature just went around calling itself ‘Hordak’ and everyone else on Etheria went along with it.

Then, the clone did something the elder Hordak did not expect.

Moving on its own, as if it were an independent limb, no different than an arm or a leg, the clone’s hair coiled under it. It lifted the creature up to be on an eye-level with the elder Hordak.

“I am Hordak.” They insisted.

Hordak wasn’t looking at the clone anymore. Or, at least, not at its face. His glowing red eyes were no focused on the creature’s hair. Holding it up in a way very similar to how Entrapta used to use her hair to compensate for the height difference between them. The clone looked like him, but it had Entrapta’s hair. Entrapta’s magic. Not a perfect clone them. A hybrid. An imperfect genetic composite. Of course this had to be Entrapta’s doing. Entrapta made them. She had certain opinions about imperfect.

“I am Lord Hordak.” He informed the hybrid.

“I know.” The younger informed him.

Taken aback, the elder Hordak just stared at the younger. This not-clone, this fake brother, this… this… mongrel, knew there was another Hordak. That the name was in use. That the name belonged to another. And took it anyway. How. Dare. They!

“I was a top general of Emperor Horde Prime’s military.” Hordak announced. “The name ‘Hordak’ was hand crafted by myself for myself and the honor of bearing it was bestowed upon me by Emperor Prime himself. It is my name. You cannot have it. You were not hatched from a crèche in Capital Core. You did not rise up through the ranks of our brothers. You were not publically named by the Emperor. You are just a… just a… I don’t know what you are.”

There was an awkward pause. Adora and Bow watched Dak, apprehensive of the child’s reaction.

“I’m Hordak.” Insisted the young hybrid.

“I did not give you permission to use my name.” The older clone informed him.

“But it’s my name too!” Dak shouted. “Mother made me to be you! I was supposed to be a new body for you. But Scorpia let me out too early, and now I’m me and there isn’t room for me to be you.”

Hordak just raised a brow at that confusing and absurd explanation.

“You said you couldn’t clone a new body for yourself.” Entrapta reminded him, taking up the explanation. “So I though I’d give it a try. I isolated the parts of your genetic code that misreplicated –the parts you keep calling ‘defects’- and I cut them out of the sequence. I used my own DNA to fill in the holes and complete the code.”

“Now…” Here the hybrid hesitated. Lowering themself back to the floor. Feet on the ground, hair coiled behind them. “…Now I’m spare parts for you. To- to help repair your body. Mother used my blood to fix you.” They held out an arm where a cute little green and yellow tiger striped band-aid covered a puncture site. “She took my blood and made more of it to start your heart again.”

“Little Dak saved your life.” Bow announced. “You’re alive now because of them.”

“You’re alive now because capable and compassionate people care more about you than you deserve.” Adora added, glaring up at Hordak. As if daring him to prove her right. That he did not deserve their care and compassion. That he was a waste.

Hordak was still too shocked to ever register her challenge, let alone rise to it.

He staggered backwards and sat on the exam table he recently rose from.

Entrapta created a new body for him… that new body was this… child-Horde. This child-Horde gave parts of their own body to save his life. Hordak reeled. He felt light headed. Faint. Was he about to pass out again? He was still recovering from coming back from the dead, it was not out of the question that he might pass out again.

He did not want to pass out in front of Adora and Bow. In front of a defector and a rebel.

“In any event, if you’re up you can move.” Adora asserted. “It’s time to leave. We’re gonna let Entrapta take you back to her own territory where you will stay. Then Entrapta’s gonna come to Brightmoon to hold up her end of the bargain. You are going to go along quietly and not make trouble. As far as I’m concerned you’re a war criminal. Stay in Dryl and I won’t touch you, but step one talon outside of Dryl and you’re mine!”

These terms would imply that the Fright Zone was no longer under Horde control.

Or else, the Horde here on Etheria was no longer under his control.

Either way, Hordak understood. He did not have any leverage in this situation.

…

While Adora and Bow strapped a tied up Catra over their flying horse, like a mouthy and disrespectful saddle bag, Hordak was plucked off his feet and placed on top of Emily. The bot would carry him while he, Entrapta, their clone composite, Imp, and Scorpia made their way to Dryl.

“Hey, did you remember to tell Micah about Angella or that Shadow Weaver’s living in the castle?” Bow asked Adora before they flew off.

“No. I thought you did.” Adora replied before Swift Wind jumped into the air and Hordak missed the rest of that conversation.

Emily started moving forward and Hordak almost fell off the bot’s round dome top. There were no hand-holds on the Horde bot, they were not exactly designed for passengers. He had to rely wholly on his own balance.

“Oh, this is so exciting!” Entrapta clapped her hands as she cartwheeled on her hair. “I’ve never brought a boy home to my castle before! I can’t wait to show you my lab! I’ve got so much First Ones tech! The mines just keep churning it out! There must have been a First Ones settlement in the mountains before Dryl was there. There’s just too much for it to have been an outpost. And now that I know what Eternia is, I can make so many more advances in my reaserch! And now that I’ve got my lab partner back-!”

“Eternia?” Hordak echoed, some small part of his half-forgotten dream rising to the surface. ‘Reunite Etheria with Eternia’.

“Yeah!” Entrapta smiled. “It’s a planet. But there aren’t any other planets in Despondos. So it’s gotta be from where you’re from. The Known Universe, right? Have you heard of it? It’s supposed to be part of the same Runestone network as Etheria. Two parts of the same machine.” Her eyes sparkled. “It’s fascinating. I wish we could see it!”

…

END

[ambris]

Patreon Musings

This is gonna be kinda stream-of-conscious so forgive the lack of structure. But I’m trying to work something out for myself.

Basically, I find as I’m working on stuff for my Patreon this month, I’m just. . .not feeling it.

I really enjoy the sketch phase, and while I’m not confident in my inking or digital painting, I’m willing to work to improve on it.

But then the whole "Draw a pin-up--then add nude edits/etc." every single month, month after month, just isn't working for me. Seems like it’s what the most successful artists do, but the enthusiasm for an image starts to die when I start making alternates for it’s own sake. Not sure if I'm just allergic to repetition or what; or sometimes I don't want to draw a nude version.

I think in general I'm getting tired of the concept of "edits". I've been doing them for years, but I feel like they can get in the way of a good individual composition. I'd rather focus on one single image, and making it the best it could possibly be.

And If I’m gonna do an artist nude, or a half-naked pin-up of a character, I’d rather that it be the primary and only intent of the composition.

Or idk, some months I’d rather just do a short comic on something fun. Or perhaps a collection of simpler drawings at various levels of completion featuring the latest popular character or art-meme. Part of me wants the freedom to do whatever, so long as I do something for my supporters.

Hell I’d love to do more of just my own original stuff on Patreon too. There does seem to be a desire among my fanbase for more Erika--and I’d like to think people would get attached to other characters I have mind as well.

I like the idea of my Patreon being more of a monthly tip jar, with no specific obligation to provide content, but a general good will from artist to patron and vice-versa. And while I have a fair chunk of absolutely fantastic fans who are happy to support me that way--the last time I had a Patron like that, I slowly bled pledges over time, to an helpful income from it. Maybe that was because I didn’t actually post anything there (just assuming that people who wanted to support my work else would just go to my Patreon, and look for my upload elsewhere?), or maybe because people need incentives. 

But I don’t like do incentives. I hate strict paywalls because I want as many people as possible to see my work. And even doing a soft paywall, I’ve started to resent the rhythm of locking off NSFW edits (that I already dislike drawing for their own sake) only to upload them publicly later. You wouldn’t think it, but uploading stuff, adding in links to my Patreon, other galleries, and what all else--it takes up a lot of time; Time I would rather spend drawing or relaxing. Time that I feel the need to cut out; it’s all too much unnecessary finagling.

I started following the patterns of more successful artists on Patreon most recently, but I just can’t keep up the pace. The monthly grind--It kills my enthusiasm for the work to such a degree that it’s negatively impacting the quality of my work. And while as a professional artist, I just have to accept working through a lack of motivation sometimes, this is such a consistent problem anymore that I know I must be doing something wrong.

Maybe I only feel this way because I’m overloaded on commission work--backed myself into a corner because of other life distractions. And maybe it’ll get better  once I’m caught up. I’m not sure.

But every half-year or so I mix up my Patreon for these reasons. I never feel happy with what I’m doing. But I also hate not having a consistent Patreon, as I worry that will bleed pledges.

And yet it’s probable I’m going to do something different with my Patreon soon. I just don’t know what yet.

But what I’m doing now isn’t emotionally sustainable for me.

I wouldn’t mind hearing your thoughts on the subject.

[doubleddenden]

21 Questions Tag

Tagged by @droppingplanets , thanks man

Rules: answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people you want to get to know better!

Nickname: Generally go by Den or D or DD, sometimes Den Den or Tator Tot depending on who you ask

Zodiac: Libra

Height: 5'10 and I'm still short here

Last movie I saw: in theaters was Solo, after was Doc Strangeon a plane. I don't remember any of it. I think I saw something else but I don't think I watched it all the way through. I think it was a dumb Scooby Movie.

Last thing I googled: Konosuba LN volume 11

Favourite musician: kind of hard to pick but I think Hiroyuki Sawano since their compositions are always really good and the hour long stuff helps me write. Dan Avidan is a close second.

Song stuck in my head: After Dark by Asian Kung Fu Generation has been on repeat for 3 weeks. Sunflower from Spiderverse is too.

Other blogs: they exist but I hardly use them except accidentally. One was dedicated to my writing and one was dedicated to random words that my friends found out about that I regret teaching them. Neither got popular so schwatevs.

Do I get asks: once a blue moon, either something really nice from one friend or some anon telling me why I'm the worst person on earth for X thing (either for an old post where I dislike Bakugo, Pokemon Let's Go, or for something else accusatory). I used to get anons that flirted with me or made me choose anime girls. Those were the days.

Blogs following: 321 but I do need more active blogs catered to my tastes

Amount of sleep: 5 to 6 once I get past the nightmare inducing anxiety

Lucky number: 17 and 19 were always my lucky go to numbers but recently I've found 5 and 9 to be pretty lucky

What I’m wearing: sleepy stuff

Dream job: game grumps styled creative space with good friends except we kind of do whatever we want and talk about whatever. I'm good playing second banana while they play a game, but anything Pokemon, Sonic, or JRPG related (Persona, Dragon Quest) probably should go to me. Money is good and I have a good nest egg and never feel burdened. I can make my dream games and anime and help my friends achieve their dreams. I do charity events to help people and we succeed.

Dream trip: I'd really love something cultural and with friends there or brought with me. Something like a Japanese summer festival or a lantern festival, maybe a trip to Hawaii something night time and sea side. Ideally I'd have a week or 2 to get comfy and have plenty of time to do things I'd like. Maybe have some cuties fall in love with me and I win money somehow but that's where the dreams start to invade reality. I would like vodka just to get the good times rolling. The beds need to be REALLY soft tho. You think you know soft, but I need softer after sleeping on bad air mattresses and terrible hotel couch beds this past year.

Favourite food: Chimichangas specifically from the Mexican restaurant a few towns down. One is enough to fill a man for a day. Crispy fried, delicious queso sauce, nice and seasoned, tender meat... fuuuuck yeah

Play any instruments: badly, yeah. Other than that I used to be able to beatbox on a harmonica

Favourite song: Holiday by Jakubi

Random fact: one time I suplexed a tree out of the ground. It was kinda small, the dirt was loose and it was kinda dying, but I did it. My college friends tease me about it and I'm sure that they think I'm lying. I of course don't want to tell them how I dragged a literal full sized tree to the road in a fit of middle school rage after my mom pissed me off in the middle of a hurricane. Called me a useless and lazy man "just like all the others" because I was too scared to help her move it in the midst of a literal fucking hurricane. It was Katrina. I was 10 or 12, I think. Fuck you mom. Also fuck that tree. It destroyed our fence and made more work for me.

Trees suck.

Describe your aesthetic: depressed douchebag with ideas and muscle to power the universe on a 2 minute battery has love and support for his friends buried under anger issues and money problems. Alternatively, an anime protagonist that was put in the LEAST convenient and buggy mech suit possible. Dogs are somewhere in there.

Tagging: anyone that wants to do it but I'll tag @owlfowlfa @imaheroitsayssoonmybracelet @ladygreen99 @maidofpuns @whatevsman16 and I think I'll call it there.

[ainaraoftime]

today in painting lessons me and the other new student were doing still lifes with charcoal + a white chalk to work on composition (it’s still not finished, i need to work on the lines and some other stuff im noticing! i had a hard time deciding whether to post it or not, im really whiplashing between liking it and disliking it). im the youngest person there by far (the other new student is probably in her 40s, theres another woman whos at least 30s id wager. everyone else is considerably older) and also again, one of the 2 new students, so i guess i almost felt self-conscious (almost? i mean, we all begin somewhere it’s natural) clumsily drawing a clearly amateur still life while people around me were doing fantastic paintings with oil paint or pastels

then a man came up to me (it’s not really a classroom, everyone just kinda does whatever and people often wander around and talk to each other) and asked if it was my first year to which i said yes, then asked how old i was and i said 20. he looked at what i was drawing and said (awkward translation maybe, he said it in spanish obviously) “i’m 72. if you already draw like this, imagine what you’ll be doing at my age”

i hope he had a nice day :’)

[environmentworld-blog]

Making an environment in One Week - Part 1

I decided to make a whole environment piece in one week. So yeah!

WHAT THIS IS: Practice and an experiment. This was just a personal test to see what I could achieve and share my experience. WHAT THIS IS NOT: Healthy and practical. Healthy for reasons you will read bellow (at least for me), and practical because rushing things doesn't make you better. Even though there was some discovery here for myself, I didn't learn any new techniques, didn't learn from critiques, etc. I dont recommend to do this as a constant art practice. Its not smart if you are planning to grow in your craft.

That said!

Its been both a challenge, and a great time. It was definitely a big learning experience for me, and I am not very happy with the results but I decided to share it because I got something out of it, and hopefully some of you will as well.

The main challenge was to conceptualize and go from blockout to final in 1 week. Basically, going from here...

...to here...

...in one week.

The result is running realtime in UE4. I used Blender, ZBrush, Topogun2, the Substance suite and Photoshop.

DAY 1. Starting out...

This was, heads out, the hardest part. The whole piece took me around 45 hours. 4 hours after work from Monday to Friday and at least 12 hours on each day of that weekend. Needless to say, at the end of that week I was completely exhausted. MVP of the week was my girlfriend who decided to take care of my chores the whole week while I worked!

Looking at the empty canvas is always scary.

And of course this time it was no exception. It added an extra layer of pressure knowing that every minute I spent looking at it and clicking around, would take valuable minutes away from my busy week.  

I had to figure out SO MANY THINGS.

When tackling down an environment, there are many things I usually keep in mind. You have composition, theme, storyline, execution method, end platform, etc. And in this crazy jungle of thoughts that usually strikes me when starting to build a piece, I can get lost really quickly and begin walking in circles.

First I had to CHOOSE A PLATFORM. Unreal, of course. Moving on!

Then I had to FIGURE OUT THE MAIN THEME, on which I'm going to build my scene. So I almost instantly thought: pirates. I LOVE pirates. I mean, who doesn't? And with Uncharted 4 still to this day in my veins and one of the latest Magic The Gatheringset ever-present in my head (go Ixalan bois!), I had all the inspiration I needed. I had found my theme. And I set it in stone, for I would never allow myself to lose time changing it. That was not an option...

And of course, I ended up changing it.

Now, I need to THINK OF THE STORY. It was going to be amazing! I wanted to have a small boat in the sand with a treasure on it. And in the back, a huge ship shooting at it. As if the pirate stole the treasure and was getting away! He got to shore, but the ship was too damn close, so he had to take away whatever we could in his hands leaving most of it behind.

Cool, I liked it. It was no Dark Souls environment art storytelling, but it kinda worked!

So then I jumped to the next and one of the most crucial of steps: GATHERING REFERENCE AND BUILDING A MOODBOARD.

I think I got rid of most of my pirate-related reference, but here you kinda see what I was aiming for terrain wise. I had to cut a lot of it, but the feeling was there. This step is almost crucial, and it is really important not to underestimate reference. Spend 1-2 days looking for it. Always keep it open while working, and never stop looking for new pictures!

All this took me a good couple of hours. Perhaps 3 (tight time frame after all). So I HAD to move on to the engine now. No time to waste.

Next, I started with my main BLOCKOUT. This is definitely the most important part of it all. Here is where you should spend the most time when making environment art. The blockout is going to dictate the overcome of your whole piece. Don't think in details, details sucks, details are for murlocks. Nail your main shapes and composition FIRST. You will definitely tweak things around, but having your composition, shapes, balance, and flow of the piece in place in the beginning, is not only going to allow you to work more effectively, but it will also keep you inspired and moving forward.

So I did. This is the first blockout of this piece ever.

I started out with the simplest of compositions. I can go quite crazy trying things out at this stage but, not to my surprise, I hadn't much time to spare. So a simple rule of thirds, which I personally dislike (here is why), will do for now. I knew that I was going to keep a simple 3 point composition, and 2 counterbalancing points will do the trick for now.

Also, at this points rocks, water and sand texture were taken from the UE4 library.

I moved on then to BLOCKING OUT LIGHTING. As everything in this stage, it was very simple. Just used a basic skysphere (default to UE4) and tweaked the values a bit. I knew for a fact I wanted to keep working on both the mood and the clouds. But no time for that right now.

The goals of my first day were to have the whole blockout done. At this point it was almost 10 pm and I wasnt ready. And I wasnt going to bed until I had at least a very basic sand texture there.

So I made it.

And since its really awful, I figured I might aswell explain what was I shooting for composition wise. The framing was going to be natural vs man-made. Rock vs water. So the big rocks on the fore and the middle ground where doing that for me. At the same time, I was throwing all the flow lines I could to make the ship pop up.

And that was it. 11 pm. Time to eat something, go to bed, and go to work the next day. I could have stayed up all night. But I knew better.

DAY 2. Sand and rocks

Day 2 started out nicely. I almost ran home to get my hands on this! I was confident that I was going to pull it off. All was great!

I jumped right away to Substance Designer. I knew (and had been thinking all day) that I wanted to have the sand in as soon as possible. So I jumped directly to my next step BLOCKING OUT TEXTURES. Not everyone works this way, but I found out that having a solid blockout of your textures helps you to see the bigger picture. In an interesting scene, not only color but also roughness take a big part in making it look unique and appealing to the eye. And having your materials blocked out will get you early to a point where you can start tweaking lighting, composition and even propping to get the most out of your scene.

This screenshot is 2 hours in on the second day. I kept moving rocks trying to improve the composition, and all this new perspective came from my new sand material being applied to the terrain. I built a simple blend shader and vertex painted some roughness variation in where the land met the sea.

Also grabbed this super high poly ship from somewhere on the internet and used it very quickly to try to pull my vision a bit forward. All assets were created by me in their entirety, but blocking out a ship just for the blockout's sake would take me a whole day, and I was already starting to get scared from the scope of this scene. At this point I didn't think I was going to pull it off, and grabbing these ships helped me realize that my original vision simply wasn't going to happen. They were a lot of work, so I had to improvise something on the fly.

Much like in game development, the cool parts get cut. Ships were out, and I spent a whole hour trying to think what to do to replace them. And the clock kept ticking.

So I kept working on the composition. A 3 point composition would do it. A simple offset of focal points kept in flow by the terrain and contrast. Not too fancy, but would do the trick if done correctly.

Then I thought I might as well move on to the next thing: CREATING KEY PROPS. So I decided to get started with the rocks. I sculpted these godforsaken monstruosities and quickly decimated and textured them.

Here is a quick tip for you all: DONT RUSH THINGS. Because when you do, you end up losing time. They looked like crap. And I knew that. And hated the fact that I had to redo them. That didn't only make me lose time, but also severely affected my morale. Tackle things smartly, and give every piece of the puzzle the time it requires, because if one single piece is off, everything will look unfinished or just wrong.

Then added some fog and, just like that, the day was over. What a waste.

DAY 3. Rocking rocks.

Day 3 started at 7pm. I had to get to work with the rocks right away. So I did.

I looked for a lot of references and got to it. I ended up finding some killer ref on it, that was exactly what I needed. In the end, and after pretty much all day, I was happy with what I got. The sharp edges broke nicely with the smoothness of the scene. It almost felt like I was achieving a gradient between the smoothness of the water, the semi-rough surface of the sand and the sharpness of the rocks. I quite liked that. There was even a cool story element to it.

It also had to be reusable, so I sculpted it 360 degrees, since it was going to be rotated like crazy. I knew they weren't perfect since there was barely any small detail on them, but I would come back to them later.

I also kept developing the blend shader a bit. And used it on the rocks as a test, painting some sand on top of them.

DAY 4. Propping, mesh scatter and sand!

Getting back to it on the fourth day had me excited! I knew what I wanted to do with the rocks, so I started creating bigger variations and some backdrop ones. Once I had them, I kept working on the composition and framing of the whole piece. Also created some sharp ones to add at the distance, as some reference I found showed.

So at this point, halfway there, I had my composition kind of there, my secondary props almost done, my main textures half done, and I was still experimenting with lighting. Damn.

When propping, it's always good to keep micro-compositions in mind. There is a lot to talk about on this topic, and I plan to do it in the future in more detail, but as of now this should do. Every big shapes should be grounded, accompanied by medium and smaller bodies. And this is what you can see I did here. Breaking the rotation of assets and having other smaller props around them, blend big assets and terrain together smoothly, almost like in a gradient.

And then it clicked. I decided to take a huge U turn. Pirates wasn't an option anymore since the ships were too expensive to make. So I decided to turn into scifi. Star Wars more specifically. For some reason I just got a bit of a scifi vibe out of it. Decided to follow my gut.

First big change was lighting. Before I was aiming for something really moody and gray. Tons of fog, low visibility and and sad/uncomfortable mood. Changed it into a mostly clear sky at dusk.

DAY 5. Prop making

Getting back to it on the fourth day had me excited! I knew

My first idea was to recreate the crash from Star Wars Jedi Knight Jedi Academy on the planet of Blenjeel (the one where the sand worm tries to get you). So I thought it could be a really nice remaster piece to make! Story was figured out and all.

So I used some UE primitives to build the basic shapes of what I was going to go for in both focal points. It was going to be the fallen ship and one of the ships parts you need to retrieve in the mission.

But as I started looking for reference, what I could find was really limited. the game is really old and there is barely any art for the level. I found a single piece of concept art in one of many Star Wars wikis and started blocking it out from it.

My plan was to execute the main asset that day, so I quickly jumped into it. And as I started modelling one of the turbines of the ship (you can see it in the next image), it resembled something I was really fond of. So, again, a new sporadic change in the design...

Pod racers! I LOVE pod racing. Who doesn't?

And like that, day over!

DAY 6. Of grounding and helmets

First day of the weekend. My intention was to finish everything today. Wanted to have all props figured out, all dressing done, all painting in place, etc. The last day had to be just post processing and super small details in the scene. Lots of things happened on day 6.

The new prop was simpler and more easily recognizable. And, most importantly, I liked it! It would be now the remaining of a crashed pod. The races (as depicted both in the movie and the game) were pretty brutal, and so I figured I could try to show that.

Here is the asset.

After that I quickly jumped into grounding the asset better and adding smaller detail. Added some dragging marks for the turbine, wires, random parts of the broken pod scattered everywhere.

DAY 7. Final tweaks and presentation

Final day upon us!

I started the day early adding the third focal point to the scene. Backdrop pods racing at the distance. This wasn't only the third piece of the 3 point composition, but also a big storytelling element. This guy had some tough luck, but the race still keeps on going!

Also started to play heavily with a post process volume and some nice LUT tweaking.

Then did a final pass on everything. Added some more scatter, tweaked lighting, added some fake bouncing lights and tweaked the reflections. Then made some quick dead vegetation and added it around some rocks. The final composition was rather simple, but here is a breakdown of my mental process. It doesn't really matter which of the 3 focal points to see first, all of them are connected creating a circle flow between them.

In blue, you can see the helmet connecting with the turbine thru the wire in the sand, creating an arrow directly pointing back and forth. Framed by the rocks in the foreground, the helmet creates a strong contrasty focal point that is very likely to attract most attention at first glance.

In red, the turbine. The trail behind it serves a single purpose: its guiding the viewers sight towards the next focal point in the rotation. Also the same positioning of the turbine works as an arrow pointing left. Perspective and placement work together here for this end.

In green, the pod creates an attention spot simply because of contrast. And so it completes the circle. All shapes around are meant to both point towards it and guide the viewer back to the helmet.

General positioning on the scene and during the dressing had purpose. Playing with empty spaces vs populated ones, contrast and color helps, and here the sand areas and sea create clear paths to traverse. and the central, uninteresting, piece (in orange) creates the perfect shape to accentuate direction and a pivot for the whole image.

And so I was done! 8pm on Sunday. Crazy week! Was absolutely exhausted and had a real bad time trying to concentrate next Monday morning. But I managed to pull it off to the best of my ability in the given time, and the result was rather acceptable.

Many lessons learned on this. Not going to bore you with all the details of my own realizations, but I tought it would be nice to share the crafty side of them.

Im not doing this again any time soon. Even though I look back and can be proud of having finished a piece in this small amount of time, the gain wasn't really worth it. Things I would improve if would have had more time are:

Pods could have improved with some motion blur (didn't have the time to figure out how to make it happen in UE).

Smoke looks still and inorganic.

Rocks could be better grounded, with sand buildups on the sides.

Backdrop rocks are way too simple.

More color variation would have taken this to a much nicer place. I played it safe with complimentary colors.

Assets could use some more time.

And I think I could keep going on forever. Even though my eyes are still a bit used to seeing it constantly.

Thanks a lot for reading! Sadly I had to cut a bunch of it due to text characters limit, but I think this sums it up well enough.

Please leave any questions you may have, happy to answer them! Also any ideas and C&C on the piece is absolutely encouraged.

Thanks again, and till next time!

Otto

[anearthstruckalien]

((I know it's random, but how would Giegue react to the thanos snap occurring?))

[[  Disclaimer: I am not familiar with the comic continuity at all and only know whatever the movies based on the Marvel universe have shown.  Moreover, I saw this movie some time ago and so I might not recall all its details properly.  With all this said, my actual response is under the cut.

I’m going to assume that you’re referring to what happened by the end of the Avengers Infinity War part 1 movie and that naturally this is in relation to another universe entirely because this blog’s setting is obviously its own thing entirely…SO under these assumptions, I guess that from an outside observer’s perspective he might kinda understand where Thanos was going with his whole plan (he can respect attempting to resolve a huge issue like that… even if the Psion species do not have such an issue) and even understand that he may have perhaps believed that the was doing the right thing and all BUT… with all that power, Giegue would also inevitably wonder why it wasn’t put to better use?

To elaborate, it would actually confuse and befuddle Giegue that someone which had a bunch of rocks which together could accomplish something big and had a genuine intent of ultimately improving the quality of life across the universe as far as resources go, decided to just kill half of them instead.  Don’t get me wrong, Giegue doesn’t really care much for life beyond that which exists on Earth within his own universe BUT he was raised by a species which dislikes wasting resources and in turn, strives to make everything as orderly and efficient as is possible.

And so, this would also inevitably end up rubbing him the wrong way?  Because it’s a pointless waste of life-forms.  Pointless and avoidable and entirely replaceable with alternative solutions that would have been more efficient and beneficial in the long-run.  For instance, the Psion species rather just altered themselves to be more tolerant of a wide range of conditions and require as little maintenance as is possible PSI was also a huge part of the reason but that’s besides the point.  No one had to be killed.  They just reconfigured their entire structure and composition to the creatures that they are today.

I could discuss more, but that would deviate the topic too much.  In any case, the point is that Giegue would be confused and honestly a little disappointed that someone whom could recognize such a big issue and found such a powerful means of potentially resolving it (along with other issues out there) ended up using it to just kill half the universe’s population.

He’d think that it’s a shame that someone whom had a good thing going for them turned out to be someone that either wasn’t imaginative and insightful enough or someone that simply never understood the full scope of that power or both instead.  And he’d hope that this kind of ‘pointless’ and ‘wasteful’ thing gets reversed by someone that has their sensibilities intact.  Because this is just unacceptable –the fact that such great power was ‘wasted’ on this kind of solution is unacceptable to him.  ]]

[shui-xi]

you know what i find the gayest song i ever had on my pc? i think it’s ‘glaring dream’ from gravitation. strange thing that it’s a really positive one and i still like it. i keep it since 2002 (in case you had no idea i’ve lived long enough, yes))))

but i love that period and when artists made op’s and ed’s, i say artists but they also do those nowadays, i’m just more indifferent and they don’t touch my heart anymore, i suppose.

i remember how naruto brought me sambomaster “seishun.. something..”, they also have many other great songs. i still have captain straydum, it has a funny title mountain go go XDDD

or back in bleach times i found out for myself music by home made kazoku, happened ages ago, but i still like them. also there was one track by Takacha which i loved, i still follow him on twitter and happy to know he’s still doing music and takes parts in events. or asian kung-fu generation. come on.

for example tracks from macross plus with sharon apple make me remember the time we rented (or someone brought) the cd, but the files were corrupted, so at that time i haven’t seen the full macross plus. i was so affected by the whole thing that i drew sharon on my wallpaper (don’t think i did a bad job, i think i still have the sketch from those times and can dig it out). but it’s nice that music brings some memories!! unlike these times with no unlimited internet i now have seen not one sharon apple)))

also, i don’t own those anymore but i think one of the greatest things ever done with composed music in anime is from ‘nana’. actually, i dislike the anime itself, i suppose many fans had outrages about it never being finished? but the music was great, tsuchiya anna and that other singer, hell my memory is bad. but who can forget ‘rose’? i find they did a great job bringing great music and individuality of both singers that corresponded with characters. but i knew that shoujo isn’t my thing at all ahahaah, i keep up with only few shoujo titles since then.

it’s actually pretty interesting through that to find ppl or when your loved bands do music for anime. like after xxxholic i discovered suga shikao for myself. or with d.gray-man (the first one) i found june, he had few releases and later became a producer. with yamato nadesico shichi henge i discovered kiyoharu, the show i still find awful XDDD but some things from him i listen even to this day.also at the time i listened to 12012 they were asked to do romeo x juliet ed (i doubt you saw but whatever) it was one of their gayest songs ever so not like their music at all, or when gazette fans went into wut when they did an op? for kuroshitsuji. bad memory, bad.

but when it comes to osts yoko kanno is like one of my top fav at all times. her gits compositions and collabs are fantastic, not to mention bebop. damn. if you never saw her live they had when they played bebop music, yo, it’s really fun!! that video is precious. when bebop op tank! played, i never skipped, not even once, because it’s just ageless and i can never get tired of it. just 1,2,3 let’s jam. i usually skip after a while but never with this one. i still think it’s one of the greatest openings of all time. no really, go watch that kanno small concert, or if you have bakabt account just d/l it from there, it’s freeleech. but she did a lot and every show was not the same? right? it’s amazing how different they are, but all are hard to forget.

i think it’s cool when music can bring like the whole spirit of animation to a new level, it’s not something generic, but a unique sound you’ll be able to recognize anytime. remember samurai champloo? loss of nujabes is a great loss to the whole music world, but he made this show sound unique.

with stuff like gits or ergo proxy i realized i also like ambient futuristic stuff. but whenever i mention ergo proxy i always start singing come and saaaaaaaaaaaaaaave meeeeeeeeeeee (you might have seen it in my tags some day XDDD) because that op song by monoral is also ageless.

oh, once again a find thanks to anime - boom boom satellites, because they did xam’d op which has like a really neat title “shut up and explode”, still keep it on my music list, so upbeat. i’m actually going through music and manga folders just to delete stuff i don’t give a slightest damn about to free some space to d/l this show again lollll.

thanks to ookiku furikabutte for example i discovered base ball bear (their vocalist is like never aging too, it seems))) but they’re fun. and the show is still precious. i never found it as upbeat as nowadays sports anime that are like so hype it’s kinda tiring, but it gave a really nice message and i think ppl who missed it should give it a chance.

i’d like to say the same about other artist i discovered thanks to anime, which is mell who performed “red fraction” in black lagoon. but she’s been inactive since ‘13, yet i liked her. and black lagoon itself was a show of its own, so dramatic, i think what i like is that it had many bad stuff happening, no let’s be happy together ending in your average show. i wish they’d do another season of it, since manga is ongoing, even though it’s been through a lot.

Ok, I’ll be going now, since I need to finish some stuff as well. Who actually read this post is precious.