#also i just realised the way i typed that sounds like im 12 IM NOT SHHWEIF

[confessionsdiaz]

trying to take care of my skin while not being warped by the evil ass skincare industry..a challenge

[caeunot]

hii first of all i love your writing and im so glad i came across your fics 🖤 i was wondering if you could maybe write a johnnie x fem reader, enemies to lovers fic? or something along the lines of johnnie and fem reader always bullying each other a bit only to realise they've been crushing on each other the whole time?

johnnie guilbert x reader

enemies to lovers 18+

➷ you hated his guts, everything about him irritated you and made your skin crawl. you are friends with jake and you absolutely love him to bits so you spending time with him normally equals to you having to be around johnnie. these feelings aren't without reason though, your not the type of girl to hate on others very easily.

it happened a few years back, when your own youtube career recently jumpstarted and you started spending time with other similar youtubers near you. this is how you originally met johnnie, even before jake. you were first invited to a party hosted by some popular la youtuber at the time and you obviously took the invite since you knew this would not only help you make more friends in the industry but to also promote yourself!

you were greeting everyone and taking many pictures as the night went on, fully using this opportunity to the best of your ability. as it hit 12 you decided to look around and scope out the last person you want to introduce yourself to before you head home. you saw a short-ish guy with deep red emo hair swooped to the side with harsh makeup around his eyes and you were immediately intriged. you preferred a more grunge look yourself so seeing someone with such familiar fashion made you feel at ease.

"hey im y/n!" you say, introducing yourself. "do I know you?" he says coldly as he turns to see who was speaking to him. "no but everyone will soon the way my channel is going" you say with some sass so you can counter his rudeness. "you have way too much confidence" he says with a smirk. "so I've been told".

"what's your name?" you ask, "my names johnnie, johnnie guilbert". "well nice to meet you johnnie" you say with a smile. "what do you do for a living? if I can ask", " I make youtube videos and I also make some music on the side!" he says. you two talk for a little longer before you check the time seeing its quite past what you had planned. "hey it was great meeting you! I don't want to stay too long so I think I should get going!"

as you say goodbye and walk away you feel him grab you by your wrist, you turn around. "wait don't go yet, your the most interesting person I've spoken to today and I don't want to go home just yet" you bite your lip, "fine, how about I just walk you to your car then". he rolls his eyes, "is that all? anyways I don't even have a car, I came with uber"

"wait why did you take an uber?", you say confused, "do I really have to say". "yes", " okay, I can't drive.. happy?" you scrunch up your face, you don't feel comfortable letting him go home with an uber this time of night. "I don't mind giving you a lift! then you can talk to me during the ride all you want"

you walked him to your car and he got in on the passenger seat, let me just say that convincing him to let you take him home was harder than you imagined, but you could see in his face he appreciated it.

"why are you doing this again?" he asks as you start driving. "because I'm a nice person and I don't trust ubers". he nods, "I like your piercings" he says, observing your face in the dim lighting. "thanks!" you say as you stick out your tongue, showing your snake eyes. "oh shit I've never seen that in person before, it looks great". you blush slightly, "it was pretty painful and it's hard to upkeep but I don't regret it at all".

he brushes his hands through his hair, probably anxious from the small talk. "this might sound weird but, do you have a girlfriend" you ask. "I don't, why?", "it's because I figured that if u did she would be the one driving u home from a party, so I was just curious". "haven't had one in years", he says leaning back. "really? your really hot so I'd imagine girls would be all over you".

he laughs, "maybe in the past but not anymore, my sense of fashion and my lack of confidence kinda makes getting a girlfriend hard" he says, opening up to you effortlessly. "I think emo guys are hot" you turn and look at him.

"what are you implying?" he says, giving a lewd grin. "that if I had the choice to either have sex with you or not have sex with you that I would". you notice him squirm slightly in his seat. "if you mean that, pull over" he says

you do as he says and you climb into the back seat. you crawl into his lap and find yourself grabbing and pulling on anything you can find as you feel his tounge slip deep into your mouth, tasting the alcohol he had ingested that night. you wish you could recall the rest but you were much drunker than you thought you were and ended up slightly blacking out.

the moral of the story is that you gave him your number, and he never came back after that. not a call, not even a single text. you never ever hooked up with guys, this was your first time. and you hate how knowing a guy for just one hour could make you feel such strong feelings towards him, for johnnies case those feelings were a mix of lust and disgust.

back to current times, you ended up meeting jake a year later and that's when you saw johnnie again for the first time since that night. but instead of apologizing or at least being honest he instead found himself ignoring you. this frustrated you the most, you despise a man who cannot own up to his actions, let alone not even acknowledging them. every time you found yourself around him you felt your blood boil and you just wanted to give him a peice of your mind, but you can't.

you can't since it's been 5 months since and neither of you have said anything at all, 5 months of pure pretend. jake noticed your dislike towards his roommate but he didn't want to get involved in any issues that didn't require him, which you appreciated greatly.

after a lot of convincing, jake did eventually get the both of you to film a video together with him. it was one of those food rating videos and the goal was to order one type of food for everyone, jake said that I will do the drinks, johnnie the main and jake the desert. you were dreading this.

and you have been dreading this day for the past month since jake started bringing it up. you couldn't even handle being in the same room as him for a few minutes let alone a whole video.

"let's plan what we will order now so that we don't have to think to hard tomorrow!' jake says as you sat down on the couch next to him and opposite from johnnie. "I already know what I'm making you guys eat", "let it be actual food and not just chicken nuggets please" jake says jokingly. "knowing johnnie he will probably poison mine" you say with a scoff. a few minutes later jake started getting a call from someone and had to leave, aka leaving you alone with johnnie.

"why would you say that?" johnnie said to you the moment jake left the room. "say what?", "say that I'd poison your food, it's rude". you laugh from the pure nerve this guy has. "don't fuck with me, don't act like your the victim here". "says the one starting unnecessary shit". " I'm not starting anything, you started and I'm just continuing". the tension in the room was cut as jake walks back in, "sorry guys that was my studio, anyways where were we!" he looks between the two of you and johnnie gets up and leaves, saying he's not feeling well.

that evening you sat down in the passengers seat of jakes car, you breathe in and out meditatively to calm your nerves. "okay everything is orderd we just gotta wait for the food!" jake says climbing into his seat of the car and started prepping for the recording. you fiddle with your rings and move around your hair for a solid 12 minutes before johnnie got in the car with the food in hand.

the video started off fine, you didn't laugh at his jokes and he didn't laugh at yours. you two didn't even make eye contact, that was untill it was jakes turn. "okay guys for johnnie I got him a really massive chocolate chip cookie because hes a basic bitch and I got y/n a gummy lunchable because she's never had one" you laugh since the idea for having gummy pizza seems so obscure. "jake that's so wrong you know I love lunchables". jake turns to you as if implying you should give him a piece.

"I rather not" you say softly, but not soft enough to where johnnie couldn't hear you, "it's literally just a lunchable what's your problem". " I never said I had a problem, it's not my fault you don't have manners and can't ask for something yourself". "I literally just said that I love lunchables, stop starting shit were recording".

jake turns around to face the both of you, "what the fuck guys, what's your problem", you look at johnnie, "ask him". " you guys are acting like fucking toddlers either tell me what happened or just sort your issues alone, like now" he says as he gets out of his car, "there's no point in keeping on filming so let's just go inside okay".

you go inside and sit down and you feel as if your in the third grade getting detention from your angry teacher Mr Webber. "so.. what happend, you two have been like this since the moment you met and I don't understand, y/n, johnnie,I love you both so much but I can't handle this bad energy", you stay quiet and so does johnnie. "okay if you guys are going to be like that I'm going to my room, just please sort something out because I promised our fans we were doing a collab". he says walking off into his room.

you bite the inside of your mouth and look around, not able to handle the awkward silence. "johnnie I just have to ask you one question, why?" he makes an upset face, "what do you mean 'why'", " you know what I mean" you say in almost a defeated tone. you stand up and walk towards where he is sitting, "I mean why didn't you text me back, why did you ghost me" he looks away. "don't be a coward please, im tired of our crap". upon hearing this he stands up.

"fine okay, I'm a fucking coward. I was too scared to message you back because I was drunk and you were drunk and I knew for a fact that nothing would happen between us because I mean look at you, your gorgeous and I know if we somehow started something in the future I would feel so guilty that we hooked up the night we met, I've only ever had sex with two people y/n!! that's you and my ex and I feel guilty for it every day because sleeping with random people is not me!!"

your feel as if your in shock, almost frozen in place. you brush your hand through your hair about to say something but nothing comes out. "I never met to hurt you at all I just, I'm stupid I'm fucking st-" you cut him off by putting your lips on his, he doesn't push you away and instead takes his arms and grabs onto you tight while pushing you against the nearest wall. "I sware I'm not usually like this" he says, breaking the kiss,"you just.. do something to me"

'fuck' you mutter as you grab onto his hair as the kiss becomes more and more passionate. he takes his hands off the wall and starts to remove your baby tee, exposing your lacy black bra. as he did this you hear something behind you and look to see jake, his mouth dropped right to the floor. johnnie immediately stood in front of you to cover your exposed skin and when he heard jake walk away he helped you put your shirt back on. "I'm so sorry" he says with the most guilty look on his face.

"shh don't be it's okay!" you say holding his face and giving him a soft kiss, "I definitely overreacted to everything because of how much I liked you, it hurt me so much that someone I felt so strongly about could shove me aside like you did". " I haven't gone a day without regretting what I did" he says. you felt so relieved that this issue between you two was finally sorted out.

"what now?" you ask, indentifying the elephant in the room. "its my turn to say sorry I shouldnt have kissed you like that it was impulsive and careless of me".

"y/n". " yes?", you ask completely confused. "I've never met someone I've wanted more then you in this moment, I want you and all of you" he says walking towards you and holding your waist, "let's not torture each other as we have, please" you smile "I'm all yours".

❣

[seuonji]

QUICK QUESTION!!!! (im asking like a bunch of carats so-) rate svt on a scale from 1 to 13 where 1 is husband material, 7/8 is bf material and 13 is bestie material.

-✌🏾

from aya: OMG?? thanks for asking this!! I LOVE THIS IT SOUNDS SO FUN. okay actually ive talked about this with my friend and i was so passionate lol. ngl i find all of them husband material.

i’m sorry if these don’t make sense. i have the worst stomach ache in the world…

also a lot of these may have been influenced because i’ve seen some of them with children but..anyways.

aya’s standards: funny, sweet. should be a bit mean.

+

1, MINGHAO. girlll the the way he said its his wifes choice on how many kids she wants because its her body</3 husband MATERIAL. in general he’s just so sweet, gentle and passionate and he can cook??? also he’s kinda mean and brutally honest. recently i’ve realised i want someone like that.

2, joshua. there’s smt about him that screams husband. the gentleness but joker type, he’s someone i want to come home to.

3, seungcheol he’s actually my husband alr so. i want him for him ofc he’s just the sweetest and he’d definitely treat you right i love him sm, someone i want to come home to as well. we both have dogs, we both literally parent the same kid it would work so well<3 but idk if i can handle the sulking that’s why he’s not number 1</3

4, jeonghan, responsible, trusting, reliable. he’s husband. like i feel like he’s someone that you’ll have so much fun with especially in the long term sense.

5, seungkwan IS HUSBAND TYPE AND PEOPLE DONT TALK ABOUT IT ENOUGH. he can cook, he has great humour and he looks husband. i love the way he is.

6, jun husband quality, someone i would want to wake up to and we’d have fun together. he’s good with kids and he’s just silly + he’d be so nice. also he reminds me of a crush i had when i was younger.

+

7, vernon. i have this crush on vernon idk what it is but i have a huge crush on him. he’d be a great boyfriend but he’s also someone i’d admire from afar.

8, seokmin urhhehrh he’s husband type but also he has such first love feels? i’d be super in love with him but it just didn’t work out💀??

9, jihoon actually he should be higher on the list because i’ve always found him funny but it was only recently he started to like going out and as someone that loves going out he’s definitely leaning to husband type. but rn he feels like a boyfriend you learn so much with.

10, chan. he’s someone i’d be so curious in dating. would probably be a boyfriend that made me really happy.

+

11, soonyoung HED BE SUCH A GOOD BOYFRIEND. but even better as a best friend—we’re both so loud i’d want him to be my hype man or smt. he’s a bit like me and i’ve dated someone like me i didn’t really enjoy it, i preferred them more as a friend😭

12, wonwoo…idk maybe it’s the fact he reminds me of half of my situationships. but that isn’t to say i’d hate to date him. he’s a green flag amongst all and he’s someone i can see myself going to for like a nice chat with.

13, mingyu. i know y’all are gonna hate me for his placement but like. i want him to be my best friend so bad😭😭😭 like a guy that can listen, he’d cook you a meal when you’re feeling down

thanks for listening.

[k4shixe]

Prompt 4 with nanamiiiiiiii pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

BabySitter

CW; reader is 17, character is 28, age difference, strictly platonic, complements said to character, type of flirting (its teasing/joke tho), shouting at reader, kinda swearing

Pairings; rich!fem!reader x bodyguard!nanami (platonic)

Summary; After getting caught too many times, your father decided to get you a body guard. In an attempt to get rid of him, you go it the mall with your best friend.

Word count; 3k+

Prompt: “that’s enough.”

A/n; aaah here it is! Worked 2 days on this and ngl I never did watch the anime so he might be a little too formal. BUT I did enjoy writing this so please send any requests along! And I hope you enjoy! :)

12 minutes.It took them 12 minutes to find where you were. It’s worse that there are things that you shouldn’t be having at the party, especially at a party with teenagers. And you thought escaping to go to the party was easy. Oh how you knew you were going to get it. Your father stood in front of you with guards blocking the way out.

“Y/n I expected better. I told you that, you, explicitly, couldn’t go anywhere until we finish the meeting. You could’ve been kidnapped or worse”

“But dad I was bored! What was I meant to do wait?”

“That’s exactly what your meant to do! You leave me no choice but to take your credit card and get you a bodyguard”

“Okay fine my card is understandable but a bodyguard! That’s crazy! I don’t need to a baby sitter! I’m 17 for god sake!”

“It’s too late. My decision is final. Now go to your room, your grounded until you show me you can behave.”

You left for your room, sitting on your bed and sulking over the fact your going to have a babysitter. Or as your dad called it a “bodyguard”. You wished your mum was here, but tragically she died in a car accident when you were still a toddler so you knew how precious you were to your father. He loved you but you couldn’t blame him since you managed to get past everything he tried but that also didn’t change the predicament you got yourself into. You decided to texted your best friend telling her about what happened.

Bestie <33

I got caught ;(

Now my dad got me a babysitter

Oh cheer up,is it a guy or girl?

And are they hot?

Oh shut up.

And he didn’t even tell me so idk

Ok fine, how about

you just try getting rid of them?

Ooo, now your talking!

Just come to the mall tomorrow,

I need more outfits

Didn’t you buy some last week?

Yeah but I already wore those

Okay whatever you say

After chatting with your friend you started realising that you actually didn’t know who it was going to be. It could be some scary homeless dude your dad found on the street. You started praying it was atleast a girl, maybe you 2 could be friends. And with that you fell asleep.

“Honey wake up. Sweetie please get up” Your father shook you lightly.

“So early in the morning though” You slowly sat up on your bed,rubbing your eye to try get the tiredness out. You squinted your eyes seeing a tale, well-built man who was wearing a suit with blonde hair styled with a neat part next to your dad.

“Dad who’s this?“ you say visibly confused as you regained your eyesight.

“This is Mr Kento Nanami, he’s your new bodyguard.” Your dad sounded oddly proud for his accomplishment of finding such a well groomed bodyguard.

“But Dad he’s like 50! People are gonna think I’m dating this weirdo!”

“That’s no way to talk to your bodyguard y/n!”

“Im 17 I shouldn’t have some babysitter! I should be able to make my own decisions!”

“Sneaking out to go to a party at 3am shouldn’t be one of them!” He took a deep breath to calm himself down “Y/n, you are having him as a bodyguard and that’s final. Now if you need me I’ll be in my office” Your dad walks off leaving you and this “weirdo” in your room.

“So… your what now?”

“As your “dad” stated I’ll be your body guard. I’ll have to watch over you and make sure you don’t do anything reckless”

“Okay old man, I know my dad told you to do this but aren’t you annoyed you have to babysit me? You can just quit right now and blame it on me. I won’t mind.”

“Nice try but I already got paid so orders are orders until said otherwise. And I’m not your babysitter, I’m your bodyguard”

Man, this guy was going to be hard to convince. You thought as you looked at Nanami who was looking around the room, analysing it.

“Okay mr bento ninja could you leave my room?”

“It’s Mr Nanami to you, and I can’t just ‘leave’ I was ordered to stay”

“So what your going to watch me change then?” You say raising your eyebrows while starting at him awaiting his answer.

“Of course not, don’t be childish. I’ll leave if you had told me why.” He says as he left the room and closed the door behind him.

After getting changed into a sleek bodycon dress that really complemented your look, and with some makeup,heels plus a matching purse, you were all good to go. Now to only convince your dad. Shouldn’t be hard right? Walking down the staircase with Nananmi behind you (you couldn’t help be a little disgusted), you went to your fathers office and opening the door when hearing a “come in” by him.

“Dad could you please give me my credit card back? I promise I won’t spend much” you say with a pouting face and batting your eyes. You knew he couldn’t say no.

“Sorry sweetie but rules are rules. Until I can trust you again no credit card until then.” To say you were shocked was an understatement.

“But-“

“No buts,ifs or ands. Rules are rules.”

“Can I atleast go out with f/n?”

“You can but you must take Nanami with you. He must know anything and everything you are doing, and he can and will be able to check your phone if necessary. That’s the only other rule”

“Fine.” You groan and glare at Nanami who couldn’t care less and walked off, after he nodded to your dad he followed after you.

You pull out your phone, making a quick call to your driver when you heard Nanami clear his throat. “You do know your under my care, so I should be a able to do everything for you. Ms l/n.”

“Ugh don’t call me l/n, brings back memories. Just call me y/n. And I’m just calling my driver, I need a lift to the mall.” You have gotten your mother’s last name when you were born, since your parents felt like you’d like it more, especially when you’d become someone of more importance.

“If you insist Ms y/n, and you know I can drive.”

“Yeah…no thanks I’d rather take my own driver.”

“Very well. Whatever you want.”

The car ride to the mall was quiet. Too quiet. You wanted to listen to music but kind of over thinking that the music would be too loud and Nanami would judge you. He sat on the opposite side of the car, sitting still and quiet. Why are you overthinking something you would never think twice about? Is this bento dude that intimidating? I swear he’s staring at me from the side of his eye. Ugh snap out of it. You leaned your head back and let out a small groan. This was so nerve wracking. You pulled out your phone and just opened it to check the time. The lock screen showing a picture of your mother, father and you just a happy family. You stared at it with a small smile, the picture always made you calm and relaxed. Nanami noticed and decided some small talk would be better then silence.

“Is that your mother?”

You jumped a little at his words. First not expecting him to talk and second to ask that question. “Oh uh yeah…”

“Where is she? I never seen her around before”

The fact that sentence stung was a whole different type of pain. It felt like he was making fun of you just like the kids did to you when they found out in middle school. You tried putting a fake smile up but it hurt a little too much and an ich in your throat to cry came. You quickly tried wiping away the forming tears but just opted to looking the other direction when that wasn’t working.

“She uhh, died when I was younger”

And for the first time you got some emotion out of Nanami. Surprise and more of a regret for asking that question. “Oh, sorry I wasn’t aware.” He noticed the tear on the side of your face still visible to him and got a handkerchief from his suit pocket and handed to you.

For the rest of the car ride it was more awkward and silent then before. You managed to calm down but now you were thinking what Nanami thought of you. Some spoiled brat? Probably. I mean he isn’t wrong. You zoned out looking at him and didn’t even realised till he looked back at you. “Is everything alright”

“Oh sorry! I zoned out! I tend to do that a lot.” You looked back out the window blushing from embarrassment. He shook his head and went back to his seating position.

Finally you had made it to the mall and the drive opened the door for you with Nanami fixing his suit while walking up to you. You entered the mall looking for your friend and found her at the Gucci store shopping for some shoes.

“Hey! F/n!” You quickly walked over to her giving her a hug like always.

“Who’s the old guy?” She whispers to you looking behind you to exactly point him out.

“It’s the dumb babysitter my dad got me remember?”

“He is kinda hot though.” You hit her lightly.

“Shut up. Now let’s go to Sephora, I heard there selling a new makeup pallet!”

“Quickly then! We need to get it!” She grabbed your hand as you both rushed off with Nanami keeping an eye on you both, mainly and specifically just you. You reached the aisle with just a few pallets left when you realised.

“Crap, I wasn’t allowed to get my credit card. I can’t pay for it.” You say disappointedly.

“It’s fine just take my emergency one. It has a budget of like 50k though so just be a little mindful.”

“Omg did I ever tell you that your the best?”

“No but you should start” you and f/n laughed as you went to pay before

“Not so fast. Do you think your father would let you pay with your friends credit card? There is a reason he took yours away from you.”

“Yeah but this is different. So don’t try put your reason into this. Besides if he doesn’t know then who cares.” You say and your friend nodded her head in agreement.

“Fine. If you really don’t care, I’ll call him right now” He says getting his phone out his pocket.

“Hey! Wait! I won’t use her card” you mumble quietly as you put the make up pallet away upset about it.

“Let’s go to the restroom I got to tell you something.” F/n whispered and you nodded. You both began walking, Nanami close behind. When you reached the door you both quickly entered saying something to Nanami about fixing your make up and hurried in.

“That was easier then I thought.”

“Yeah but what would he do? Enter the girls bathroom?”

You both burst of laughing, Nanami could definitely hear you both from how echoey the bathroom was but you didn’t care right now.

“We need to get rid of your babysitter. Even though he is kinda hot at all”

“Agreed, except for the last part. But atleast we know we won’t be fighting over the same guy in the future.” You say as you both laugh.

“Ok we could go clothes shopping next and since we’re basically the same size just look for everything you want and pretend it’s for me.”

“Got it, now let’s try the make up pallet you got”

“Yess!” Let’s just say you guys spend at least half an hour in there just gossiping and doing each others makeup. F/n was telling you the juiciest gossip ever when it was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Who would be knocking to enter a public restroom?”

“Beats me” you shrug.

“Are you ladies done in there?” Of course it was Nanami who was standing the whole time just waiting for you to leave.

“Would’ve thought security took him away for being a perv”

“Same!” You both burst out laughing again before another knock stopped you. “Well let’s just go clothes shopping!” You both get up and leave the restroom after packing up. Entering the first clothing store and looking for clothes, you both went to the swim suit aisle and poor Nanami had to stand there looking at the ground while you both giggled and tried them on. You swear you could see a tint of pink on his cheeks from the embarrassment. You smirked, your plans working. Now just a matter of time. I mean what would people think of some grown man following two girls trying on bathing suits. After picking out a few you headed to the dresses and picked out a few to try. Finding one you particularly liked but didn’t know if you should get, you decided to play a little joke on Nanami, and your friend encouraging it just built up your confidence.

“Oh mr Nanami~”

“Yes Ms y/n. What is it?.”

“Do you think this dress looks nice on me?” Expecting some sort of reaction, you can certainly say you were disappointed when he just nodded and looked back to where he was looking. You frowned and rolled your eyes, “whatever”. Your friend and you finish shopping and managed to get Nanami off your back about you trying on the clothes even though your not supposed to buy anything. “It’s just for fun! It’s not like we’re hurting anyone. Besides shes going to buy them anyways” your friend agreed with you.

Of course you guys went a little overboard and bought way too many clothes to hold them all. After a good 4 hours you waved your friend goodbye and she gave you half her bags insisting you “hold them” for her and she’ll pick them up next time. Your friend secretly handing you a credit card, not having as much but enough to get you a few extra things. Nanami still swift and quick to catch up with you, you decided to try something on him. With a little bit of a dramatic effect (thank god you took acting classes).

“Oh Mr Nanami sir. Could you please hold my bags? My arms are sooo tried, I don’t think I can hold them anymore” you say looking up at him with ‘puppy dog’ eyes.

“No. I’m your body guard, not a mall porter”

“Oh Pretty please~”

“Fine.”

“Thank you!” You say delightedly as you hand him your bags and quickly rush off to another store. Using the card your friend gave you managed to buy at least 3 more bags worth of clothes, 3 with shoes, 2 with purses and accessories and that was just the starting. You kept handing Nanami bags, and he was just silently taking them and holding each one. You could tell he was getting tired and fed up with you though. Slowly and surely you noticed him getting slower from carrying all those bags and the anger was just building up. The last straw was when you showed up with another 2 bags just hanging them on his arm when suddenly

“that’s enough.”

To say that didn’t scare your soul out of you was an understatement. You were mortified.

“Enough?…”

“Enough. You are going home this instance and you will carry your bags on your own.” He was practically death staring you, leaving you speechless.

“Yeah okay…” yeah okay? Why did I say that? I should’ve told him to shut it and listen to me. What am I doing? A little too scared to say anything back, you picked up as much bags as you could, struggling to pick up some as the weight of them was way more heavier then expected. Nanami sighed and picked up the rest, escorting you out of the mall. After following you for around 6 hours and having to go through the most embarrassing things ever. He still took your bags and watched over you, maybe because it was his job, but maybe, just maybe, he actually did care.

Nevertheless, the car ride back was silent like before, even being able to hear a pin drop was possible. You got your phone out and opened a food delivery app, scrolling through the food options. Yes, you did have a personal chef at home but you wanted to eat out today. Especially being forced to eat a models diet was tiering. You felt a little bad for Nanami so you sucked up your pride and turned your head to him.

“Uh Mr Nanami, would you like to eat something?” He looked over at you before shaking his head.

“thank you Ms y/n but no.” And with that the car when quiet again.

Getting home with all those bags was a trouble waiting to happen. You should of thought of it, oh how your brain was mentally screaming at you. But thanks to mr snitch, he called your dad beforehand telling him about everything. Your were no longer allowed to hang out with your friends, they could come over but that was it. After a shouting match with your dad, you slammed the door to your room with tears in your eyes. Your almost an adult and no freedom. What was the point? Nanami on the other hand, probably doesn’t know what a slammed door means and knocked on the door before opening the door. You quickly composed yourself, opting to just wash your make up off instead of looking like a clown you and went off to your bedroom’s bathroom. You had to push Nanami out of your room to change as he wasn’t believing you, thinking you’d run off. You began doing some homework, being homeschool was easy but the homework you got was something else. Struggling on one question in particular, you didn’t notice Nanami leaning over your chair looking at the question.

“No, your doing it wrong. Here.” He scribbled a few things on the paper which somehow made perfect sense to you. You mumbled and quiet thanks “Thanks…” which he simply acknowledged with a nod.

“Mr Nanami could I tell you something?” Nanami nodded his head for you to go on.

“I’m sorry about today, and thank you for watching over me. Even though it’s your job and everything but uhh…” Here comes your dumb phase! You were sure he though you were as stupid as you sounded.

“What I’m trying to say is thank you.” You keep your eyes on your homework, scared he’d just look at you with disappointment. But you looked up and you swear you saw a teny tiny smile on his face. You smiled back as you noticed he wasn’t mad at all. Maybe things with a body guard wouldn’t be horrible after all.

Request here ;)

[shitouttabuck]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @thewolvesof1998 thank u bud i’m procrastinating packing and this was fun

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

seven!

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

129,484 which is a fake number to me

3. what fandoms do you write for?

nothing has made me as insane in my life as network television procedural drama 911 on abc, so

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

you can start a family who will always show you love

let the world have its way with you

my hearts over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance

like a dog with a bird at your door

i like the summer rain (i like the sounds you make)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try very hard to because they make me so happy and it’s unbelievably kind of people to take the time to leave them!!! However i sometimes leave it too long and then worry it’s weird to reply after like. a month. which as a fic reader i wouldn’t give a shit about so idk what my problem is!!!! i will reply i will just maybe take a hot sec to do it

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don’t have any i’m a happily ever after or bust kinda guy in my own head if nowhere else…… angstiest is probably the sound of love astounds me if only because it ends post-feelings realisation but still pre-relationship

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

they’re all so happy omg. i will say with great personal bias it’s my heart’s over-pumping but also i have. a sequel in the works….

8. do you get hate on fics?

no people have been very very very lovely but also sjjsjsjs i’ve not been here super long. the funniest comment i’ve gotten was on my first fic where someone was like i liked this but it is jarringly inaccurate as mcdonald’s in california doesn’t have a veggie burger option 😭 i cried laughing im so sorry to u americans. pls petition your local mcdonald’s to stock the mcplant it slaps

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

have written two e-rated fics….. it’s very fun but i don’t think i’m very good so i’d like to practice actually (maybe some sexy prompts after i finish the bed-sharing ones?) just the regular kind for now like i love buck and eddie desperately and am myself into a million things but i don’t know how kinky they would actually get in my own head. so just a little gross with it for now i guess

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nope!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no that would be SICK. @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove is podficcing bucket list fic which is so very cool of her!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no omg i don’t know how y’all do it i’m bad at group projects but also this sounds soooooo fun. if also deeply stressful

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

if that’s synonymous with most likely to get you institutionalised, uh. gestures around us. otherwise mulder/scully and i am just now right as i’m typing this realising i’ve never ever in my life actually read x files fic what the fuck. also steve/bucky but i haven’t read fic since 2017 probably

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

listen i have not written a word for x files au past that one snip i shared forever ago. i want to soooo bad i’ve talked about it to some of you very rabidly but. it does not want to be written and if it did it would have to be so fucking long which is very daunting to me. not saying i’ve put her in the ground yet but. we might need some necromancing

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i’m pretty good at writing in character? mostly? sometimes i struggle with buck just because i think we’re very similar and i project a little and then have to go back and fix it lmao but for the most part i think i’m good at that! and i have a lot of fun writing dialogue

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

plot!!!!!! and pacing!!!!!!!!!!! also my inability to write non-linearly omg if i get stuck i just get Stuck i can’t jump ahead

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

oooh i love it and would love to include more than the teeniest bits i have but i’m so conscious about it sounding natural and not stiff to people whose language it actually is (shout out and a million kisses to @eddiebabygirldiaz for fixing the spanish in i love you like a dog!!!!!)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

911 babey!

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

my heart’s over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance !!! not just because it was the first fic i posted after joining tumblr fandom but. idk it is so so so special to me like it makes me so happy and when i think about it i’m like. hey u wrote that. good for u my dude. and also maybe i just associate it with meeting a bunch of you whjsjssjsj

tagging @callaplums @eddiebabygirldiaz @housewifebuck @rewritetheending @try-set-me-on-fire @onward--upward @anxieteandbiscuits @devirnis @athenagranted if anyone wants to do this i’m nosy soz if you already have !!!!

[justpottytime]

ok from the getgo im sorry for kinda dumping this here but i really wanted to add to pissbuddys "where did the kink come from" post but i dont have a sideblog and am way too embaraazd to reblog and you seem to answer a lot of anons so it seemed like the safest bet i guess?? and i honestly really wanna see if i could keep the discussion going cause im curious if other peple have more to share but anyway fhngjjsgf im one of the "maybe shes born with it" cases id say, although on one hand you could say i "discovered" it thanks to coming across my little pony pron on deviantart at the ripe age of 12 which was probably the case for many children of the internet in those times, but then again, if your first reaction is anything stronger than "ew weird *clicks off*" then it would probably be closer to solidifying what was already there before. but yeah if i ever get over the shame im gonna get to actually researching where that stuff comes from because i dont believe it doesnt come from anywhere, and also ever since i first realised it and the implications really clicked for me its haunted me that things like that can be caused by good ole sehsual abuse n whatnot so uh. yeah

well anyway i apologise if this is something i shouldnt have said to you, you can of course ignore it and not answer it and tell me to piss off in a public post, ill know its for me dtukiiyfsd ah fudge this sounds like im baiting something but i swear i just wanna be as polite as i can about this lmao im sorryimsorryaahh

No no, this is fine! It's an interesting discussion to have, I agree - and if you ever dig up some information on what causes it, I'd love to hear! I'd be fascinated to know what happened to me to give me the interests I have! It's such a bizarre thing, and so many people recall feeling 'weird' at an early age - there's gotta be some type of research about it, right?

Thanks for the ask, let's see if we can keep the discussion going!

[devil-doll13]

some more bc im just so curious ;;;

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of? (since u have such cool concepts)

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

Oh hi again!! Thankyou for sending in moreee

From this

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

Ooh one that I’m proud of… For me it might be due to recency bias, but my post on The Organisation clarifying some details I really feel like is good for many reasons, since before The Org. really had little direction and structure;; and I am now making way for possible ‘nonconventional’ deities and continuity in my work which I am super excited about!! I hope to go more cosmic horror with this in the future.

Also Thankyou for the compliment! 🥺

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

I said this to you before but I used to be not as into darker romance as I am now! I am definitely experimenting more now and enjoying it, partly thanks to your stuff 👀 it can be really hot;; but I also love the tragic and angsty side of it too ngl

I would also say that ‘enemies to lovers’ and similar more conflicting/complicated relationship types because before I used to only like ‘friends to lovers’ and such. I think maybe it was just something that came with age and more experience reading/writing fics, and the realisation that it doesn’t have to be something you should emulate irl;; I find these to be really interesting dynamics when done well!

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

Hmm this is a bit of a tough one, I’m actually not sure? Like in general my tastes have stayed much the same just expanded to make way for new likes.

Ok so this might sound weird but I think now I am actually over ‘humanity will always be brutal and nasty when left to their own devices’ stuff like seen in a Lord of The Flies sort of thing. Because I actually think we are capable of more good than that, and grimdark settings have lost a bit of appeal for me tbh. I think there needs to be moments of levity sprinkled in otherwise it feels to over the top to me? If that makes any sense kwkemrlern

[wiggles-mcgee]

hey, first off the bat, im just gonna say: don't worry. Sounds stupid to say and like senseless advice, but I want to reassure you that in the end, things will turn out ok.

Secondly, I relate to this experience hard, because I've been through it. I identified as pansexual from the age of 11/12 (part of a queer friend group in an "all girls" school, like 50% of people in the school were not straight) because in my case, I had never had a crush on anyone yet, which must mean I felt the same level of attraction towards everyone. Like background radiation. My logic was flawed (but i was 11 give me a break) and i eventually refined my explanation, and kept identifying as pan.

But something didn't sit right with me, and so by 16 I'd learnt that sexual and romantic attraction were two different things. I'd had my share of crushes, or what I thought were those, so i considered myself demisexual (I told myself I'd feel it when i met "the right one") and panromantic, then later identifying as ace and demiromantic. Now? I'm settled on asexual, though some things still make me question that, and am on the aromantic spectrum, being myrromantic, demiromantic, and aroflux.

Like you, I also did a fair bit of research!!! I still have a document listing every aspec identity and microlabel i could find online and their definitions and flags, which rates them out of 5 based on how much they fitted me. I'd recommend checking out the LGBTQIA+ wiki, if you haven't already, but just generally having a look online at various aspec identities. You probably don't have to make a google doc and a powerpoint like I did, but if it helps, it helps!

In that research, I also found out about the various types of attraction, including aesthetic and physical attraction, and also gender envy, and all that stuff. The way you can stare at someone and go damn, I'd love everything about being in a relationship with you, apart from the being in a relationship part. The fact you can look at someone and go holy hell. Thats a cool look you got there. I'd love to steal it. That and the realisation that I am nonbinary helped me with figuring this aspect of my sexual+romantic identities out. The eternal question of "do i want to be them or be with them" is still an ongoing debate in my mind sometimes. And the two aren't mutually exclusive!!! So considering the different types of attraction, if you haven't already, and reading up on how they differ, might help you figure out if what you're feeling towards people is linked to your sexuality, romantic orientation, and gender, or none of these things.

I'd definitely also recommend listening to other people's experiences on the subject and seeing if they resonate with you. For me, JaidenAnimations as a pretty big youtuber being ace and her video on the subject was absolutely massive in changing my perspective that hey, this is okay. Other people get this too. I'm not alone in feeling this way. For the sole reason of it resonated with me and I understood, and that was a step closer towards internal acceptance for me. For quite a few of my friends, I was their aspec awakening because I explained what it was for me and how I felt and they had their fanfic "Oh. Oh." moment. Its reassuring to know others have been through this but have figured it out, mostly. Sure, its worrying to wonder id you'll get there yourself, but it helps knowing you aren't alone, they've been here too.

If you're searching for the right label because of a need for an identity, for one label to be the perfect one and everything to just click beautifully into place - I can understand that, I've been there, I know so many people who have. But the real kicker/beautiful thing/pain in the ass, depending on perspective, is that our identities, our orientations, can change over time. I have come out to my friend groups as different identities on like, five occassions. One of my friends has been flipping between bisexual and lesbian identities for years, trying to figure out which feels right for her, and recently is considering if she's aspec in addition to this. Another friend figured out last year they're demiromantic in addition to being a lesbian. It's ok to not be certain, or to change your mind at a later date because you've figured out that, hey, this identity applies to me a lot better than the previous one. Its about whatever is right at the time.

And you're never "just" anything - straight asexuals are still a valid part of the aspec community, along with allosexual aromantics. Even if this ends up being the identity you settle on, you are still valid and welcome here, and anyone who tells you otherwise can go fuck themselves. Being asexual or aromantic or anywhere on those spectrums doesn't make you lesser than other queer people, either. You don't have to hit a certain quota of queer to be a part of our community. You are enough.

I'm not sure how useful or relatable any of these experiences or advices are to your situation, but I want to reassure you again: you are not alone. I've been through a similar experience, I know other friends who have been through this. Our end points were all different - I'm asexual and on the aro spectrum, some of them are also ace and aro, some of them are aroallo, some figured out they were identities other than straight, and some just didn't slap any labels on because none felt right for them - but we've all been on the same journey. Even if it takes you years, I believe you'll reach a point where you feel comfortable enough in your own skin, regardless of any identity labels. And I sincerely hope that you do find an identity that suits you, that you are comfortable with.

Question: Am I asexual?

Answer:

Im 17 years old and just (6 months ago) got out of my first relationship. The first time I was kissed too (maybe I’m late to that game I don’t really care though). The first time I kissed someone I thought “how many seconds do I have to kiss someone before pulling away seems normal and not rude because this is off, I don’t know what to do”.

I conducted some research(VERY research oriented person), and now that I’ve thought about it I can’t think of a single person I’d actually want to have sex with. Like go down on me. I thought I was pansexual but now I’m worried I’m just a straight asexual person (17 F). Because someone I know is bi and she said she was really into tits but I’m not into tits is that because I’m straight or because I’m ace???

Everyone, since I was 12, has thought I was gay. I grow up in a very queer welcoming community so it’s not condemned like in many other communities but, for example: my sister once told me that she would be very sad (I was 14) if I turned out to be bi because she wanted me to be a lesbian. Most people ask me for my pronouns, because I’m a girl with short hair (can’t be tied up) and wear man’s clothes, and I run in circles where EVERYONE is gay.

Am I Demisexual and I just haven’t found someone yet? Because I think people are pretty and even hot, but I’ve never seen ANYONE and thought “oh I’d like them to go down on me”. And I’m worried that I’ve misled everyone for years and am basically going to have to come out as straight because I like girls, but I only want to cuddle with them and be domestic, same goes with guys and everyone really.

Help, if you can, with what you think, or what I could read/watch/listen to in order to figure it out. I just feel like everyone around me knows what they are, and I still don’t.

[slasherhaven]

Ok so regarding the 50 kiss types prompt list im not entirely sure if youd write for RZ Michael Myers bUT i got a feeling he'd suit number 12 on the list DHJSSD (also i love your writing sm pls its what i always look forward to at the end of a busy day <<33) and best of luck with your exams!! I bet you'll do swell!! :D

Prompt 12: Sneaking away to a hidden corner to share a secretive kiss.

With Michael Myers:

It hadn't been completely your idea to end up in Smiths Grove. To get help? Sure, you were all for it, but Smiths Grove had a bit of a reputation so you weren't thrilled when you were emitted. You never would have guessed that the thing that would make this place bearable would be the infamous Michael Myers.

You also would have never guessed that the two of you would ever hit it off, that you would somehow be the only person Michael allowed near him, to know him. You didn't question it anymore, you just accepted it and were thankful for it.

You didn't mind spending time in the common rooms, while Michael seemed to hate it. Still, Michael hadn't done anything to justify excluding him from any of the social rooms. That meant the two of you could sit together, even if it was in silence, before being sent back off to your rooms.

As the two of you sat at the back of the room, you making most of the conversation in a hushed voice to keep your talk private, the sound of shouting and clashing grabbed your attention. Michael tensed as the two of you turned to see what the trouble was.

A fight had broken out between two of the patients, nothing too out of the ordinary, drawing the attention of the few security guards in the room.

Noticing that the doorway had been left unguarded and unwatched, you chewed on the inside of your cheek, an idea popping into your head. Looking back at Michael, you got his attention and nodded towards the unmanned door, not saying a word as you stood and quietly approached it.

You managed to slip out of the room unnoticed, the fight maintaining all the attention in the room. Michael was following behind you silently, you knew he would, but you hadn't even realised how close he was until large hands grabbed you and spun you around to face him.

A quiet gasp slipped pass your lips, only to grin when you saw Michael looming over you. It was rare that the two of you got moments alone, normally having to sneak them in and rely on random distractions to share any level of intimacy.

But right now, the two of you were alone in the corridor as you planned on taking full advantage until somebody came walking by.

Before you knew it, you were pressed up against the cool wall behind you, strong hands and arms keeping you steady as you tightened your hold around his shoulders. Michael's kisses were always an experience for you, they had started needy but unpractised and even uncertain but now they were strong, forceful as the man knew what he wanted. You loved it. You loved how it felt to be wrapped up in his arms, so easily moved to Michael's will, but most of all you loved that you were the only who got to experience Michael Myers like this.

You were so caught up in Michael, the way his lips bruised yours and the way his body pressed against your own, you barely heard the approaching footsteps until a small commotion broke out.

Suddenly on the defensive, Michael snapped back as a new pair of hands wrapped around your arms. With only a little struggle from you and Michael, the guards had managed to pull you away from each other. Seemingly unbothered by their rough treatment of him, Michael glared down at the guard that were holding on to you.

"It's alright, Michael" you practically cooed in an attempt to soothe him. You were sure he would be in enough trouble after this, you didn't need him to get into more trouble for lashing out at security. "I'll see you later" you promised as the guards gave him a tug, knowing they couldn't move him unless he allowed it.

You glanced down the corridor at the sound of new footsteps, seeing Doctor Loomis approaching. He squinted curiously at you as he came to stand in front of you both, but you only rolled your eyes at him. Maybe if they tried treating Michael like a human rather than a monster, they would make similar progress to you.

Returning your attention to Michael, you noticed how tense he was, how hard his glare was as he assessed you. "It's alright, Michael" you repeated, assuring him you were alright. He watched you for a moment longer before allowing the guard to escort him away, you watching his frame disappear around a corner.

Loomis looked you up and down as he walked past you, following behind the guards, likely to have an impromptu session with Michael. You had a feeling he would be wanting a word with you too, though right now you were being escorted back to your room.

[doriana-gray-games]

Collection of asks !

Hi! Don't want to clog up your dashboards so I am answering some asks that have piled up while I was a bit absent <3

(Game update status: both going good and bad. Stuck on this one scene, but I am starting to see the end in the tunnel lol. Have been trying a new approach where I don't edit while writing :0 it's hard but does increase productivity! I just hope the quality isn't too bad after it lol. You can tell me once the update is out haha!)

Bahaha Love that! W deserves all the love <3

😏😏😏 Watson likes all of Sherlock, tho I'm sure they are partial to some... parts hehe

But the reaction is not new!! Tho I know a lot of people miss it (there's a few easily missed things tbh haha, maybe not optimal, but I find it fun to hide little things). There's one reaction with small waist too !

lolol I see it. I have a scene in my notes where MC basically has to teach H to sit on (and touch) grass...

@jumpyhamster Maybe? Not sure yet, sorry!

Ah--was it so obvious i'm not english haha! Yeah, I might as well tell you all too (despite my best efforts of internet anonymity, I talk too much on discord lol) I am Swedish. So if I make some weird English mistake or miss some quintessential British thing the MC or NPCs would know plz let me know! <3

Aww I think I know who this is!!! 💛💛💛 hearts right back!!!!

@4332 <3<3<3 I'm so glad you liked it!! (I don't recommend it to 12 years old tho! might be too adult for that haha)

<3 <3 <3

I am for sandwich solidarity in all forms haha! XD

Hopefully MC will be able to get them a not-chewed on sandwich soon <3

It seems I can't paste more images sorry-- One similar question I got was what the elegant body type looks like:

Currently the body types won't assume a lot much more than the word and possibly synonyms to the word. That's because it's so subjective. So--if I were to make further content about it I probably will have to ask further questions about that setting <3 I do think it would be fun and interesting to do!

Elegant, is again, what you want it to mean. But generally I've heard it to mean semi-long limbs with "ideal" like proportions. And in mass perhaps somewhere between tall-athletic and lean. I personally think of grace kelly I think

Love this game and the new details you added <3 this is definitely a spoilery question but man, i gotta ask... what happened in Lestrade's life that to made him so... unhappy? Careless with his own wellbeing? :(

<3

A previous answer I have given: "Just a spiral of things. Life turning the wrong way, things looking bad on the horizon, failing to take care of themselves so they have poor chances of climbing out or realising they even can." In addition to this. This had not started when MC and L first met. And there was a catalyst event, that set it off, and in a way MC is involved in this.

💖💝💕💯💐

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

you deserve to go to jail for making me choose between two cute love interests... that aside, your game has helped me a lot while struggling with mental health problems. which sounds a little silly but genuinely it warms my heart when i don't feel well. so thank you for creating something so wonderful. + i know most asks here are RO-related but im also very excited to see how the story goes!

Gosh Anon, you gave me a heart-attack with those first few words haha-- but to the rest, thank you so much <3<3<3 That's very sweet. I'm really glad and honoured to help in anyway I can. There's a lot of plot coming anon! Don't you worry! :D

harrypotternerd934 asked:

I need to say that I'm absolutely amoured by your story. I really enjoy playing as Sherlock and I think you did a really great job at capturing the vibe of the setting.

Much love and further luck with your story 🤗

@harrypotternerd934 <3

Aww, thank you so much! <3<3<3

approxtwelveangrybees asked:

I need you to know that I had so much fun with the Victorian gazing in the first two chapters

@approxtwelveangrybees <3<3<3

Congratulations on the anniversary <3 the update was so good.. all the little reworked scenes... the love kernels... But wait, will there actually be a love triangle route!!!!?

Yeees <3 Lot's of them <3

phaedraismyusername asked:

My favourite line of the update - just a top tier IQ drop right there 😍 lol

The whole thing was so good! An absolute joy to read as always ❤️❤️❤️

@phaedraismyusername <3<3<3 You're a joy!!! <3<3<3 (I love how people are discovering the thigh line haha)

and to "The trio Lestrade/hungry tumblr anon" Thank you for your story <3

[michu-writes]

So, I just realised that you do not write for Amy, so, if it's okay, can you write relationship headcanons for Sonic x hedgehog!reader x shadow? Their normal versions I mean. Feel free to ignore the other request. Thank you!

A/N: AA FUCK I feel so bad for not writing for Amy now :(. THE OTHER REQUEST SOUNDED SO FUN TO WRITE IM SORRY!! I just don't like Amy so much… BUT I'LL PROBABLY ADD HER TO MY CHARACTERS LIST ONE DAY!!!1!1!

Also Sonic x reader x shadow poly relationship HELL YEAH!

Alright so how would a relationship with Sonic, y/n and Shadow be like…. Quite chaotic and messy, BUT IN A GOOD WAY!! Shadow is like the really protective one, Sonic is the one who causes all the fun, you're the one who keeps this relationship work? I DONT KNOW, IT DEPENDS ON YOUR PERSONALITY SJDBSJ

I feel like you and Sonic would do reckless things and go on dangerous adventures together being absolute dumbasses while Shadow is just there like "Yep… Those are my two partners right there." and just doesn't really give a shit but just makes sure you're both are safe have fun.

Sonic and Shadow are touch starved. They're so fucking touch starved. Shadow isn't really the type to receive insane and romantic physical touches. Well, because one, he already has both you and Sonic, what else does he need? Two, he never gets these kinds of affection from anyone ever since Maria died, three, he thought romance was a waste of time and only got in the way of things. Little did he know he ended up falling quite hard for you and Sonic… so who's the dumbass here?

As for Sonic, he already has Amy who's always clingy and shit, which is kinda overwhelming. But he still miss like,,,, yk,,, physical affection from someone he actually loves. Neither of you doesn't really get that much physical affection from Shadow because he's just doesn't really seem like the right person to do so, he prefers using words or showing his love in other ways. Sonic just feels a bit more awkward when giving and receiving physical affection because he doesn't know what to do… But he still does like giving you hugs and kisses of course!!!

Either way, both Sonic and Shadow would die for your touch tbh.

Cuddles? CUDDLES. As I said before, Shadow isn't the type for physical touch. But after a long day of work and kicking butt, and I also speak for you and Sonic, he just wanna plop himself on the bed and drift off to sleep for 12 hours straight with his partners :)). He just doesn't know how to say, and would NEVER initiate cuddles. He just basically waits until one of you initiate it. At first, he's just laying there not knowing what to do. He's not even moving. He's just laying still 😭. It'll take some time for him to get used to the cuddling, but after like 10 minutes or so, he'll immediately melt into it and pass the fuck out. He feels so safe and calm being in between you and Sonic!! :((. Everyone describe him as an edge lord, but he's just a big softy inside <3.

Also can we talk about how Sonic and Shadow actually are canonically frenemies (according to their wiki page). SO I'D LIKE TO THINK THAT THEY MAY HAVE FOUGHT FOR YOUR LOVE AT SOME POINT BEFORE YALL GOT TOGETHER? But it just ended with them making out at the end but anyways /hj. It's pretty darn ironic, because they're both inseparable now. SOMETKMES THEY'D STILL ACT LIKE TSUNDERES TOWARDS EACH OTHER THOUGH.

Sonic is such a teasing little bitch Istg. HE ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING READY TO MOCK YOU AND SHADOW. It's almost actually humiliating :( /j. Shadow would say something back though. Of course it will. And then it'll just turn into a whole teasing war 🤷.

Tails, Knuckles, Amy and Rouge thinks it's almost incredible that you guys even got together. Because how??? They just wanna know your secrets man. BUT THEY'RE THE BEST SUPPORTING FRIENDS ANYWAY <333. They're all secretly planning a wedding for you guys ANEM.

[lilyofthestyx]

Headcanons about each of the lords (+the Duke if you're writing about him) if they ever happen to adopt a little child?

THANK YOU ANON MY THE UNIVERSE BLESS YOU WITH PILLOWS THAT ARE COLD ON BOTH SIDES

okay okay okay okay this has definitely been on my mind so lets get into the thick of it

Alcina Dimitrescu

(im starting off with alcina for obvious reasons)

Alcina would be on the way to the church with the slimy moron, the demented doll, that disgusting manthing and Mother Miranda

She'd kiss her daughters goodbye and head off through the snow, quietly muttering about how cold her ankles were

while Moreau is literally up to his chin in snow but its fine

as she gets closer to the church she keeps hearing this. thing. it sounded familiar but she couldn't exactly put her finger on it.

she strays from the path to find it because it was just so familiar

as she weaves her way through the snow, her dress gets caught on something. she leans down to get her dress unstuck when she realises its this tiny basket.

like seriously. just a little woven basket in the middle of the snow. and it doesn't look like its been there for that long- there's hardly any snow on it

when she tugs at her skirts again, the basket makes the same noise she's been hearing

she stands back up to her full height, staring down at the basket with narrowed eyes

this cannot be a good idea, can it? opening a strange basket in the woods after being lured out here. it's probably some village manthing's trap.

she's about to step away when she hears the sound again- much more intense and much more clear

Alcina leans down and opens the lid of the basket

inside is this tiny thing- all soft and warm in a padding of blankets

a baby

she stands and looks around

who on earth would be so moronic as to leave their baby in the snow? it's much too cold for a baby to survive-

oh

she sighs, getting onto her knees to pull the baby from the blanketed basket

the meeting will have to wait. it's too cold even in the church for this tiny thing.

when she finally makes it back home, she's greeted by her daughters in a swarm of buzzing flies.

as they manifest in their true forms, they're asking what- or who, rather- their mother brought for dinner

Alcina smiles and shakes her head, unwrapping the small bundle clinging to her breast

"this... is your new sibling" she announces, "they'll be staying with us from now on."

and the sisters are ecstatic. a new sibling!

Daniela especially is happy that she is no longer the youngest. she usually is the one to parade around the castle with her sibling on her shoulders, showing them the coolest hiding spots for hide-n-seek and the windows with the best views

Bela is incredibly protective. like. incredibly.

she smelt blood from across the castle and when she found her little sibling sniffling about a skinned knee earned from a game of tag with Angie, she lost her shit and almost broke the damned thing with her sickle

And Cassandra has been caught reading bedtime stories by nightlight multiple times. she tries to play it off but everyone knows that she loves- absolutely adores- her newest sibling

we all know Alcina is such a wonderful mother to the girls so adding another baby to the mix was a guaranteed success

she's so doting and careful (a little overprotective at times but she means well) as she is with her girls

as the child grows into a teen, she panics a bit because "my beautiful baby is growing into such a beautiful, talented adult" so expect a lot of late night visits when she just sits on the edge of her bed and just admires how much you've grown

Salvatore Moreau:

now this one is an easy one too if i'm 100% honest

think Moses type beat

(if you don't know, Moses was found in the riverbank in a little basket)

apparently i really like baskets

anyways

Moreau was so out of his element when he found this tiny, screaming, writhing piece of soft flesh

the first few weeks were rough

but he eventually got the hang of it (with Alcina's help of course)

he would take his child fishing every now and then- just the two of them out on a boat for a few hours

the kid would literally swim more than walk and that little fact would make Moreau so freakin proud

also this kid would be so well-versed in movie and film history it's stupid

like expect this little 4 or 5 year old babbling not about toys or snow or how many sticks they found but instead about the copyright war over the film Nosferatu and the destruction of its copies

Moreau, as the child gets older (like 11 or 12) would have just a tad of trouble trying to keep the kid out of the village

he'd wake up one day and go out onto the lake, expecting his child to be swinging their legs off the dock and watching the sun rise over the water

and when he finds that they were not, in fact, swinging their legs off the dock and watching the sun rise over the water, he p a n i c s

i mean, full blown red alert

all of the lords are summoned to help Moreau look for his missing kid, the lycans are given an article of clothing to help find the scent, Mother Miranda goes to search the village herself- the whole shebang

and when the kid is found playing with the village children, Moreau bursts into tears

needless to say, the kid isn't allowed to go to the village anymore

until they're fifty (Moreau's words, of course)

but the kid sneaks off more and more as they get older, using Alcina or Donna or Karl as an excuse to be away

and Moreau knows but he never says a word

seeing his child happy and free with the kids their age makes him happy, even if he is a tad, a tad, a tad bit nervous

Donna Beneviento:

when Donna found this child huddled up against the base of the stairs leading up to her front door, she at first thought it was a doll of hers

it was only when she actually walked outside that she realised it was this shaking, shriveled child in tattered clothes

she spent a good five minutes just staring, wondering how on earth she's supposed to react

that's when Angie jumped in and pulled at her skirt, telling her to "let the kid inside, already!"

Donna went immediately to work on some clothes- why on earth were they wearing such ragged things?! it's freezing outside!- while Angie entertained in the parlour

honestly, it didn't go well

the kid was a little bit unsettled by the floating doll that moved and spoke on its own FOR GOOD REASON

and when Donna walked back in with her measurement tape and some fabric, the kid backed themselves into a corner of the room with their gangly legs tucked into their chest

Angie sighs from the opposite side of the room, letting her little feet fidget as she gestures to the kid. "they're no fun" she pouts, "wouldn't even let me know their name"

Donna puts her materials down slowly and lifts her veil back before attempting a small smile

it takes a while but upon the offer of food, the kid finally lets Donna make them some clothes while Angie makes conversation

she works in silence, only offering small awkward smiles

Angie finally brings up the topic of where their parents are when the kid's clothes are done

when the child goes silent, Donna nods in understanding before hurrying off to make a room for them

as Angie helped tug the blankets up to the child's ears, they promised they'd be gone in the morning

Angie was the one to tell them off.

"You'll stay as long as you need, you silly goose!"

and the child did

Donna would let them tag along for meetings so long as they promised to keep quiet and help keep Angie out of trouble

most of the time, it didn't work and they both would end up in trouble but Donna let them come nonetheless

and when the other Lords question where on earth this little kid came from- all dressed in black fabric that matched Donna's dress, she just shook her head and let Angie chase them off verbally

she'd spend literal HOURS locked in that workshop making new little friends for her child and when they were old enough, she'd let them into the workshop

and when they were even older, she'd walk them through making their very first doll on their own

she'd just watch with pride as they carefully painted the freckles with a shaky hand while Angie danced around their ankles singing of how excited she was to have another friend

The Duke:

he would be setting up shop near the base of the Dimitrescu castle when he catches a kid trying to steal some his wares

he wouldn't be terribly upset, more concerned

it wasn't something shiny or expensive that they were trying to steal

it was some of the steaming-hot food he had left to cool in the wintry air

he confronted the child gently and with a warm smile

"That's cordon bleu," he says, gesturing to the steaming plate. "I can make you some if you'd like"

and as the child eats, the Duke continues tidying up his shop for any future customers

the child, through a mouthful of food, points to different items and asks their purpose, their price, their possible enhancements

the Duke answers each question with patience, happy for the company

but he doesn't just let the questions go one-way

"How about a trade?" he asks as the child asks about the strange-looking bottle of green liquid. "An answer for an answer."

the child agrees and the Duke starts to peel back layers of why the child was here looking for food

they had been orphaned by the last lycan attack, only barely making it out by fleeing into the woods

they tried to forage off of berry bushes and successfully managed to kill a pig- only for the blood to attract lycans before they could properly eat it

the Duke nods and continues busying himself with his shop, feeding the horse that pulls the wagon

the thought had hit him when he watched the child petting his horse

that horse hated everyone. including him at times.

maybe...

when he offered to take the child in, the kid nearly burst into tears and thanked him repeatedly, swearing to earn their keep

and they did, seven times over

what started off as a purely business venture morphed into something more as time went on

when the child would come back from selling smaller household items like gasoline and the occasional package of bullets, the Duke would have them climb onto the roof of the wagon and watch the sun set together with a plate of food

speaking of which, like Moreau, the Duke would raise the most cultured child

this kid would know how to prepare and identify different dishes and their ingredients just by looking at them or smelling them

and their palate would be far more sophisticated than most adults

the Duke, as the child gets older, would eventually allow them to choose destinations to set up shop- even outside of the village

wherever his child wants, the shop would go

it allows them to see the world and its earthly wares together- something the Duke had lacked in his life before the child was brought into the picture

Karl Heisenberg:

listen to me very very carefully

this man would be the most chaotic father ever to walk this earthly realm

when he finds this kid in the elevator of his factory, he's kinda standing there like 🧍 "what the hell-"

and when the kid starts spamming the button while maintaining eye contact, he kinda snaps out of it and starts chasing after them as they drop down to a different floor

it goes on for a solid twenty minutes before he finally managed to track them down in the corner of his office

and when i say this man is confused, i freaking mean it

i mean

why the HELL would some random kid be in his factory? don't they like... play with ponies or something at this age?

to be fair, this man literally has never been allowed a childhood so

obviously he starts scolding the kid ("what the hell are you doin' in here? it's dangerous and there's some really freaky shit here, kid"), dragging them to a nearby sink because "holy shit kid, you're filthy"

the kid is silent essentially the whole time, just kinda staring into his eyes

and of course Karl's gonna be like "...the fuck're you doin'?"

the kid's face is cleaned off and Karl sends them back out towards the village with a scratchy blanket he pulled out of the bottom of his desk drawer

he's working on his 'equipment' one day when he starts reaching for a wrench, keeping his focus on the body on the table

when i say this man jumps skyhigh at the kid asking a question, i mean it

he drags the kid back out, yelling about how dangerous it is and how "you shouldn't do that! you're gonna get yourself killed! go back home!"

the kid doesn't listen

it becomes a regular thing- Karl finds the kid wandering around the factory, Karl brings the kid out of danger, Karl tells them to get lost

eventually (day thirteen of this) he asks why the child keeps coming back

and he hates the answer he gets

it was something along the lines of "it's warm and there's nowhere else for me to go"

so Karl reluctantly eagerly lets them stay

it's a lot of rules at first (a kid shouldn't be allowed to just wander around a bunch of mindless cyborg killers, let alone a factory) but eventually the child learns to mind Sturm and the others

doesn't mean Karl does not have a fullblown heart attack when he walks into his workspace to find the kid tracing their finger along the center of the battery for the Soldats

after a very long talk (and some deep breathing) Karl reluctantly eagerly lets them sit against the very far wall to watch him work on the machinery- not, under any circumstances, the actual bodies

as the child blossoms into a young adult, they start to help out with certain aspects of Karl's work

exclusively machinery because Karl could not physically handle having his kid watch him get elbow-deep into a corpse

and Karl is so freaking proud of it

when the Soldat is kicked to life, he's got his kid in his arms and cackling like the proud dad he is

yeah. paternal Heisenberg>>>

[hatsukeii]

One where y/n has been obviously in love with Tsuki since they were kids and not afraid to show it, but he’s always been lowkey mean to her and thinks she’s annoying and then finally years later she decides he’s not a nice guy and let’s him know she’s fine with all that crap and then he realizes he’s falling for her and does something really sweet for her and they fall in love? 😭😭🥺👉🏻👈🏻 ty in advance. Sorry if this is too long or specific, if it is, feel free to ignore

I genuinely hope you didn’t think I would actually ignore this<33

IM SORRY IM A MASTER PROCRASTINATOR ILY ALL AND YOU ALL DESERVE AN APOLOGY FROM ME

Dear diary//Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k+

Warnings: Cursing

Genre: Angst??? I guess???

Summary: He’s an ass, but you still love him to bits, and it’s killing you.

July 16, 2008

Dear Diary,

I got to play with Tsukki again! He had his dino with him, it was super cute! He told me his front teeth came off last night, and there’s a big hole in his teeth, but it’s okay, because he said it will grow back. I tried to hold his hand while going down the twin slides but he said it was sweaty, so next time I’ll wear gloves!

You flip through the hot pink diary, cringing at your young infatuation. Your diary entries were cringey as fuck, but they always rekindle something within you whenever you read them. You can’t even remember when you stopped writing in the book. Was it when you turned 10? Maybe 12? You don’t have a single clue.

April 30, 2011

Dear Diary,

Tsukki refused to marry me in the playground at break:(( I’ve known him for so long though, aren’t we supposed to get married? I just wanna hold his hand and hug him and give him a biiiiig kiss<33

Chuckling at the memory, you recalled the event from that entry clearly. You were seven years old only, still an immature kid. You still thought that getting married in a middle school playground was a huge milestone in life, almost as crucial as a legal marriage.

May 29, 2016

Dear Diary,

Love how Tsukki didn’t even remember my birthday:,) Must be nice getting made fun of. Half the students in my class felt my second hand embarrassment from when he completely forgot about it. God, why am I even in love with this asshole? I’m gonna have to go to school tomorrow and deal with all my classmates making fun of me for being hopeless. Brb, currently digging a hole for myself:)

Frowning at the memory, you think back to when you were twelve. He was an asshole then, still is an asshole to this day. And yet not an ounce of your unconditional love and support for him has faded. Grabbing a tissue, you wipe the remaining tears from your eyes, ignoring the dried tear stains on your cheek. Your hand slams onto the bedside table, lazily feeling for your phone. Tilting it towards your face, you sigh at the empty lock screen, accepting defeat. Flicking through the rest of the book, you are welcomed by pages and pages of white. “So that’s when I gave up on this diary...” you mutter to yourself as you lift yourself up from your bed. Heading towards your desk, you absentmindedly grab yourself a pen, notebook in hand. Slamming the diary down, you open it up to the next entry page after your last one, gently placing the tip of your pen on the first line. You grab your hair out of frustration, the ink bleeding into the thin paper. “What to do, what to do...?” You mumble, starting to form sentences in your notebook.

July 17, 2020

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while hasn’t it? Holy shit, all my entries were about Tsukki weren’t they? Jesus, of course they were. At least I was able to get it off my chest this afternoon. Telling him that I’ve been in love with him for years, that was fucking terrifying. Telling him that although I know he’s an ass, an animatronic dick complete with ballsack, that won’t stop me from falling harder, it was gut wrenching, but also relieving to a certain degree. I’m still waiting for some form of response, although I’m not sure I’m gonna get one anytime soon. I can’t decide whether telling him was the dumbest or bravest decision I’ve made. Maybe it was both. Just wait until I look back on this entry like a decade later and still cry about it lmao. Tbh he’s a genuinely nice person at heart. I know that all too well. He may be an ass most the time, and he may think I’m annoying, but despite how hard he tries to push me away, I’ll never abandon him. Jesus Christ, I sound like a yandere here, but it’s not that. It’s that I care for him a lot. Maybe even a bit too much. It’s ridiculous how absolute and utter shit a crush can make you feel.

Throwing the pen down, you flop back onto your bed, huffing into the thick blankets. You stay silent, not sure of what to think of the situation. “I’ll just deal with it all tomorrow, I’m tired of this shit.”

On the other side of the incident, Tsukishima is currently going through a mental crisis.

The blond sits at his desk, eyes unwavering, but focusing on nothing. It feels as if he hasn’t blinked in what seemed to be hours. Just hours of staring at his wall that led to nothing. Your confession plays in his head nonstop, like a broken record that refused to run out of battery.

“The thing is I like you. I’m pretty sure I always have. And I know that you’re such an asshole and all that, you won’t treat me as well as people would expect, but it’s fine. I’m fine with all that. All the dumb, stupid, careless insults you’ll throw at me, the side eyes and sneers, telling me to shut up and go away, I’m fine with it. I know you’re a good person, and that’s all that matters to me.”

“Well shit what the fuck do you want me to say?”

Maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

Maybe he should have let you down slowly.

But as he stares at his wall, the photos of the two of you framed and balanced on his floating shelves, he starts to reconsider his feelings.

The way your expression faltered then as you hastily took your bag and rushed away without a single word, the way you avoided him in the halls, the way you stopped talking to him throughout the day, it drove him crazy. He couldn’t handle the realisation that he hurt you so incredibly badly, so now all he can do is stare at his empty, blank wall. Did he know why he felt that way? No. He didn’t and still doesn’t. He’s Tsukishima fucking Kei, the emotionless, provoking, unlikeable king, yet a mere girl is somehow able to mess with his mind so badly, that all he can do is wallow in regret and confusion? What is this weird feeling? His throat itches, his heart is beating like crazy, sweat starting to gather around his temples. He clamps his two hands together, slamming his forehead onto them and squeezing his eyes shut.

How could I have been so dense?

How was he unable to see that you were absolutely in love with him? Even with the bento boxes, birthday gifts, constant compliments, he still only ever thought you liked him as a friend. However he never did. He likes you more than that. Way more. Yes, he thought, and still thinks you can be annoying at times, especially when you nag at him about not eating enough or being rude, but it was undeniable that there was something else he felt. But his stupid ass shitty ego would never let him admit it. And now that you finally confessed, he freaked out and fucked up. Even then, he didn’t think it would affect him to this extent.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you (Y/N).”

He says that over and over again, desperate to cloud out the disagreeing thoughts in his head that scream otherwise.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

The guilt didn’t go away.

In fact, now that he’s said all that, he feels even worse. Oh how much he wants to find you right this second, wrap you in his arms, tell you how incredibly sorry he is, but he can’t. He doesn’t deserve to do that. His heart is begging for him to just get out of the house and run to yours as fast as he could, but his body won’t move. He wants to cry. Scream. Shout. Throw something. Shatter something. But most of all, he wants to get another chance.

Picking up his phone, he hesitates, before typing in your contact, the cleared out, empty chatroom showing up on his screen. Going as fast as his fingers could, he typed out the one sentence he’s been dying to let out.

“It was a middle school crush, but I’m still into you. I always have been.”

Is it just me, or is this bad-

Idk man it seems like all my fics are pretty much the same and I hate it😌

Tags:

@sunshines-and-tatertots @izzyphantomgamer @justachillgirl @trashcanweeb @just-another-bored-writer @poppirocks @majorfangirl37 @kaylacinderella @random-fandomlover @tiger1719 @tiredgr3mlin @itmekisuu @skyeackermans @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @shoutsukii @agentvicinity @sakusasgarbage @kuroo-thought-of-a-better-un @sneezefiction @bokutokoutarou @thirstyvolleyballhoe @iwaixiumi @iwaigroomi @inlwlevi

Feel free to comment or pm to be added to taglist!

I’m back to writing lmao I’m bored in two week quarantine rn

Edit: cue me realising I was half asleep and missed something in the request don’t be surprised if I repost this💀💀💀💀

Btw the hq manga just ended time to cry

💕💕💕💕

[nepenthendline]

Mental Health Headcannons - Tsukishima, Kageyama, Ushijima, Tendou & Bokuto

All these are from my knowledge and based off of each character’s actions haikyuu, this is all my opinion so feel free to discuss other thoughts! I’m happy to talk about each more in depth if anyone would like it :) this is just me projecting my own problems on fictional characters

You can also message me if you wanna talk about these too!!

This is going to be long

TW: Mental health, learning difficulties, eating disorders, self-harm

Tsukishima - Depression, Anxiety & OCD

Tbh someone else (I’ve been trying to find their username to tag them but I can’t find it, they’re called something like theguessmonta but idk) has amazing posts about Tsukishima and his mental health which I totally agree with all of it so some of this is going to be pretty similar

I think his mental health problems started when he was quite young, around the time when the Akiteru drama happened so he’s been dealing with these for a while

Having depression can often make a person seem very disinterested/sarcastic/negative as a way of pushing back emotions and self-protection which explains a lot of the way Tsukishima acts towards some people (I have a whole post on how he isn’t just some asshole)

His anxiety stems from a place of terrible self-esteem and self-image, it’s clear to see he has a bad sense of self-worth when he talks about how people are obviously a lot better than him, he’s just there to ‘stop trouble happening’

Tsukki suffers from panic attacks quite regularly (especially when he was a bit younger) but he tends to shut himself off then they happen, he doesn’t want anyone else to see him like that

His anxiety and overthinking is often why he keeps his headphones on him at all times, listening to music helps drown out the sounds around him and those in his head

His OCD got worse over time - first it was things like turning the light switch on and off repeatedly until it felt right, or tapping on his desk before he went to bed, but as his anxiety and self-esteem got worse it developed into him needing himself to be perfect

This included only eating a certain amount of calories a day (no where near the amount he should be eating) or getting a very specific grade on an exam, where even one number over or under set him into a panic

Things got to their worst for Tsukki around the age of 13 - this is where he was much too underweight and self-harming on his hips (so no one else could see)

Probably also thought about suicide a couple times around this point

He has tried a couple different types of anti-depressants in the past, however none have seemed to help

He likes a lot of time alone - he gets too overwhelmed dealing with other people

The only person besides his family and Yamaguchi that knows about his OCD is Kageyama - they both noticed each others odd, repetitive habits until Kageyama asked him about it one day, while they don’t get along too well, they feel some comfort in each other understanding their actions

Kageyama - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

wow what a smooth segue 

this boy is like a walking definition of ASD - coming from a person with ASD

Kageyama was diagnosed with Type 1/High-functioning Autism when he was very young (probably around 3-5 years old)

He struggles with social interaction, knowing what to say to people and most importantly, how to say it, e.g. when he smiles people often think he looks angry

Kageyama has never had many, if any, friends before Karasuno, as he has often struggled with conversation and speaking in an inappropriate tone that may make some people uncomfortable or even scared

He isn’t very good when it comes to remembering academic studies but if it relates to his fixations (volleyball) he is extremely intelligent - this is seen clearly when Daichi shows their team hand gestures and Kageyama says he remembered them in a day

Kageyama uses masking a lot - it’s a technique people with ASD tend to do which involves copying other peoples actions in order to understand social situations, he does this many times in the anime/manga such as his awkward BBQ song dance, or high-fives

He visited a social worker once a week while he was little until he started middle school, resulting in his behaviours getting worse

Towards the end of his first year at Karasuno he went back to therapies regularly and has anger-management training in order to help him express himself in a manageable way - he probably won’t admit it but it helps a lot (key note is that having anger-management training often does not have anything to do with anger, simply just managing emotions in general but it often a great type of therapy for those with ASD although he is a bit of an angry boi sometimes)

ASD comes with repetitive, almost OCD-like tendencies - two examples include filing his nails every single day and having a very specific routine before going to bed that consists of drinking milk, putting on pjs, laying in bed and throwing + catching a ball, brushing his teeth and going to bed on his left side - if he doesn’t do these things at the right times/in the right order, he gets extremely anxious and agitated

It is important to remember people with ASD tend to also have another mental health issue, such as anxiety or depression

Ushijima - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

autism buds with kageyama

I kid thats probably a bad idea

Ushijima was also diagnosed with Type 1/High-Functioning Autism when he was 5

Unfortunately due to the stigma around Autism, his family (besides his father) were not very accepting of this and he was put into therapy at a young age

While this was actually helpful for him, his family insisted his therapies should ‘cure’ him and were dismissive of the many times a doctor told them that ASD is not a curable disorder

Outside of therapy he does not receive much support from his family, except his father who got him a pair of noise-cancelling headphones he used to wear until he 8 whenever they went out together - he was only allowed to wear them if it was just him and his father, the rest of his family thought it made it too obvious there was ‘something wrong with the child’

Extending on this, Ushijima was very sensitive to sensory input as a child, and while he still is, it has become easier to manager as he has gotten older

His ASD is most prevalent in his lack of understand ways of communication, such as sarcasm or jokes, and tends to take things very literally 

@simp4satori and I came to the conclusion that if you were to call him daddy during sex, or ask him to ‘punish you’ the poor boy would have NO CLUE - would probably call your dad and tell him you needed to speak to him, or say you can’t watch anime for a week lol 

He is extremely direct when he talks, to the point where it comes across rude or hurtful but he doesn’t realise this until someone mentions it

Tendou probably helps him rephrase things from time-to-time in order for him to get his point across

He gets very anxious when faced with things he doesn’t know about or understand (this is mentioned by Tendou in the manga), this can include people, going to new places or trying new foods

It is important to remember people with ASD tend to also have another mental health issue, such as anxiety or depression

Tendou - Depression and Anxiety (also a highly sensitive person - that’s not a mental health disorder or illness but it does affect him)

Tendou’s mental health suffered from a young age due to bullying in school

This caused a lot of low self-esteem and low mood, and he was later on diagnosed with depression and anxiety

Only his family, Ushijima and his coach know about this, and even then, only his family know any details

No one would really expect Tendou to deal with such mental health issues as he always keeps a bubbly, happy persona around others - he doesn’t want people to think he is weak or cowardly

It is also hard for others to see and he is someone with high-highs and low-lows, so when he is happy or excited his emotions are quite extreme

Tendou’s anxiety relates a lot to his image, mainly his appearance and the way he acts, but he is also a general over thinker

He doesn’t have panic attacks as often as Tsukishima does, however they do happen occasionally when things just get too much

He often thinks that people are staring at him, or talking about him whenever he goes out, and he tends to hid this by seeming overly cocky or sardonic

When his depression hits, he tends to just feel sad or hopeless instead of numb, which tends to trigger his anxiety too

Tendou used to self-harm often around his hips/thighs however he hasn’t done so since the end of his first year of high-school 

Probably makes a lot of dark ‘jokes’, especially around suicide and people semi are like ‘...dude...you ok?’ and he’s just like ‘hahaha yeah im fine what’

He doesn’t like alone time too much as he tends to get trapped in his own thoughts

As expected of the guess monster, he is extremely good at reading and understanding people, which is how he finds it easier to help and communicate with Ushijima

Bokuto - ADHD

A lot of people at Fukurodani think Bokuto is just stupid, however he actually has ADHD

He was diagnosed a lot later than the rest at 12 years old

Bokuto tends to struggle with his studies as his attention-span is very low and can get distracted easily - either by things in the classroom or his own thoughts

He’s very forgetful, often forgetting his lunch at home or forgetting to do/bring in his homework, and this goes into volleyball too where he forgets how to do certain moves

Taking exams are the worst for Bokuto, he hates having to be still and quiet for such a long time and is very sensitive to little sounds or movements that distract his attention - you’ll often find his bouncing his leg or fiddling with his pen

He tends to butt into conversations or interrupt people when they are talking, he just gets a bit too enthusiastic to share his thoughts

He has extreme mood-swings too which we see often in the anime, especially when he is stressed or someone mentions his behaviours

Is very reckless - Akaashi has probably had to stop him from leaning too far out the window and almost falling to look something

The whole Fukurodani volleyball team are aware of his ADHD and do their best to help him and make him feel comfortable or accepted

They are the only people allowed to call him stupid - they will fight anyone else

I think there are more characters with mental health illnesses or disorders, such and Yamaguchi, Yachi, Kenma and Asahi having anxiety so I might write more at some point!

[aprito]

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 

so finally we can move to the first question 

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

[bbyhjuns]

Serene Nights;Seungyoun

Genre: all fluff

Summary: Nights symbolise the end of a day, wrapping up your day's worth of happenings, be it good or bad. They also symbolise a start to new beginning, as the sun sets into the darkness, then into the bright mornings again. Nights are beautiful enough, but how much more beautiful can they get when you're spending them with your love one?

Request: hello i want to request a fluffy scenario with bf!seungyoun 💞

A/N: my first ever scenario here so i wanted to make it a little special! and listen im soft for seungyoun he makes me all akskkhsjs hehe i hope this scenario would make you this way too 🥺 okay this didnt come out as well as i wanted it to be but i do hope you enjoy reading! ♡

Word Count: 1,627

------

Nights have always been your favourite; the thought of being all wrapped up cosy in bed, listening to the ambiance of the bustling city and having all the time to yourself made you feel at ease.

Books, your laptop and music playing in the background always accompanied you during such hours, as your mind slipped into another world you wished you could never leave.

These were the little things that made your heart full.

------

[11:23pm]

You watched from behind the glass panes as the rain continued to pour down heavily, showing no signs of stopping anytime soon. Puffing your cheeks up in defeat, you let out another sigh before staring at the dim laptop screen sitting in front of you.

Low battery

"I'm sorry ma'am we're closing soon" the young man in an apron said to you in a soft tone, politely smiling at you. You panicked a little as you realised you were the only one still left in the cafe at this hour, then proceeded to apologise and packed your things.

Yet once you opened the door, you had no where to go. Stucked under the mini canvas shelter that barely even covered you, the strong wind and raindrops soaked you completely.

Today just wasn't your night huh.

Or so, you thought.

Just before you were about to make a dash for the bus stop, a man, probably around your age, wrapped a jacket around your shoulders, arms holding out an umbrella, "You look like you need this"

His eyes formed tiny crescents as he smiled, his hair was unsheveled and messy, probably drenched from the rain too. Shocked by his sudden actions, you fumbled a little as your arms were too full to reach out for his umbrella, as well as trying not to let his jacket slip from your shoulders.

Noticing your struggles, you noticed him smile a little wider as he slightly leaned towards you, "I can walk with you- that is if you don't mind, of course".

Feeling touched by his sweet actions, you couldn't bear to reject him. So there you were, sharing an umbrella with a total stranger in the middle of the night.

But it wasn't so bad though. You had learnt a little about him; how he was staying near your neighbourhood, and how he often visited the cafe as well too.

A little part of you wanted to know more about him...

As soon as you saw the familiar building in sight, a part of you dreaded wanting to step in, although ironically thirty minutes back, you were praying you could get home as soon as possible. You let out a small sigh, before smiling at Seungyoun. He returned the same smile, eyes lighting up, "I guess i'll see you soon?"

For some reason, the thought of meeting him again made your cheek rosy.

"Uh yes of course!"

With that, both of you parted your ways, as you watched his back slowly fading away in the far distance, tugging both his arms to himself to keep himself warm.

Who would have thought such a night would be so important to the both of you?

------

[ 9:52pm ]

"Wait what, so you're saying you all just left him there? That's so mean!" you exclaimed loudly as you stared at your laptop screen, mouth agape. Staring back at you was Seungyoun in his all time favourite grey hoodie, his hands working on his phone intensely - must be gaming.

He looked up from his phone for a second to observe your face, before letting out a small laugh after seeing your expression. "We joke along like that very often, i'm sure he's fine with it. Who knows, it might have been a successful date?"

You scoffed at his words, before shaking your head, before continuing to work on the essay that you've bene attempting to type for an hour now.

"Wow you look cute"

Seungyoun's sudden comment shook you out from your concentration as you felt the all familiar heat rush to your cheeks again, before observing how he was smiling at you on the screen, trying to imitate you and your pouting lips - a habit you have when you're concentrating.

Trying to stay calm, you simply gave him a bright smile, "Yes i know, thank you" before typing your essay once again. You heard his small giggle but you couldn't help but steal a glimpse at him.

3 months of knowing each other and every single night has been so wonderful with him. You love how he'd always be up for video calls whenever and always; how he'd even make a trip down over to your place to deliver you your favourite late night snacks.

You couldn't help but develop a big fat crush on him.

Though you didn't make it obvious, it always bothered you a little about how Seungyoun felt about you; did he feel the same way too? He'd always been caring and affectionate, calling you names and complimenting you, sometimes even making flirty jokes. Though his actions seemed to suggest he felt the same way, a tiny bit of you was still afraid.

"Oh yeah i remember you have classes early tomorrow morning right? You should go to sleep soon" his voice, once again, broke your thoughts as you gave a small hum in response, "I'm not tired though, and i have yet to complete this essay so..."

You noticed him pout a little, before putting his phone down, "Hmm but don't stay up too late though. Alright i won't distract you anymore, go complete that essay!"

After a few more goodbyes, you ended the call as you felt the heat on your cheek become worse after hearing his "Good night love you".

If only he knew what his actions were doing to you.

Lost in the sea of words on your laptop, your phone vibrated and as soon as you opened it, you were met with a selfie from him.

"reminder to sleep early! hope you're done by now, go to sleep >:("

It was the small actions like these that made you fall for him even deeper. His messages never failed to make your night so much better.

As soon as you typed the last sentence, you closed your laptop shut as you picked up your phone again, "im going to now!! you're nagging so much"

"that's because i love and care for you 😚"

God, Seungyoun; as if your heart that night could take any more of its own pounding.

------

[ 12:03am ]

The soft music played from the table top as you bobbed your head slightly to the beat. Your eyes were glued to your book as you hummed a little to the tune as well, enjoying the cool air.

You felt the bed sink in beside you before a pair of arms snaked around your waist. Looking down, you saw Seungyoun pouting with puppy like eyes: ones that made you weak. He threw a leg over yours, pulling up close to you before snuggling his head into your side.

Your hand couldnt help but ruffle through his hair, feeling its soft strands playing around your fingers, then moving onto his soft cheeks that made you want to kiss him even more.

"Why are you so clingy today" you let out a small laugh, eyes still scheming over the words on your book.

Pulling you even closer, "You've been reading this book since one hour ago, your boyfriend here is feeling neglected"

You couldn't help but let out another laugh, your hand now holding his, "You're jealous over a book??"

"Yes i am" he replied, before snatching the book out from your hand to place it onto the table top.

Shaking your head at his moves, you finally gave in to him as you laid down beside him, wrapping your arms around him as well, then burying your face into his broad shoulders. You felt him let out a comforting breath of relief, his leg still hooked around you.

Late night cuddles was always your favourite.

Seungyoun slightly pulled away before looking into your eyes, then to your nose and mouth as he admired every inch of your face. Inside his mind, he couldn't believe he fell in love with such a beautiful person like you.

Like him, you stared deeply into his brown orbs as all you could see was the reflection of yourself and his endless love for you. You noticed how the sides of his lips were slightly lifted up, how his eyes stared endearingly into yours.

Just like you always did, both of you leaned in to give each other a small peck on the lips, before staring lovingly at each other again, arms still wrapped tightly.

Moments like these were the moments that made your nights so much more comforting than they already were.

------

Nights have always been your favourite; the thought of being all wrapped up cosy in bed, listening to the ambiance of bustling city and having all the time to yourself made you feel at ease.

But ever since Seungyoun entered your life, nights have become even better. The thought of you being wrapped around his arms, the sound of his voice beside your ears like a soft lullaby, having small tickle fights that always ended up in cuddling sessions all made you feel a sense of serenity and peace.

Nights with him will never be same; it was always filled with so much surprise, love, affection and fun. Every second him was precious, how his soft touches sent chills to your body, to his small and little text messages that could keep you in high spirits all night.

Perhaps, is this what others call love?