#also i imagine royjamie

[whimsical-roasting]

jamie 'i'm too much' 'i'm not enough' 'can we pretend like i'm not both those things at once?? can you see me as something smaller - something more palatable' 'i don't know how to be anything smaller than i am - i can't help how i taste but i promise i'll keep you fed for an eternity' 'i'm a greedy thing really, don't mean to be but it is who i am' 'i'm the best thing at this party but i wouldn't marry me either' 'i can ask for what i what, i always have. but i can't look you in the eyes if i'm asking you to love me' tartt

bonus: roy 'you're a lot of things - a pain in the ass maybe but i could never consider what i do as tolerating you' 'loving you feels as easy as breathing even if i'm shit at expressing it' kent

[puppypeter]

I very rarely think about storylines for royjamie after richmond (because it breaks my heart a little to think of anyone of the team leaving) but like it's possible that jamie would choose to stay with richmond his whole career, it's also possible that the people at richmond itself would push for him to play for *insert the name of whatever other european football team is considered the best* and he becomes a proper super star, being invited for fancy events and shit.

(In a made up world where Ted stayed in London) Roy and Jamie got together while at richmond and now Roy travels with him everywhere as his own personal coach / PA / secret boyfriend / man behind the camera of every instagram post / personal grumpy cat / number one fan / emotional support teddy bear / personal chef etc He loves being with him 24/7 and finds it fulfilling to still be involved with football and helping someone be the best they can be but without the added pressure of having to constantly step outside his comfort zone that he'd have experienced being a manager to a whole team (he's doing good with being vulnerable with Jamie, he can do it with one person that he loves and he is still going to therapy for himself to work through his own trauma/CEN/grief and is focusing on learning to be in his skin as a human being and not this fucked up idea of masculinity he's got in his head) And Roy has a private instagram account under a random username where he follows and is followed only by the richmond team/coaches/Rebecca/Higgins + Keely + Georgie & Simon + his sister and he only uses it to post pictures of food, nature, weird shit he finds in the cities they visit, and his fit boyfriend. Since it's friends only he does use captions ("the muppet had a late night last night" with a picture of Jamie asleep on the floor) and all the himbos love to comment, especially Dani's "Sexy muchachos #JOY" under every single picture.

"night out post Milan fashion week with the muppet and some lovely faces i have missed"

"one handsome dressed-up muppet in Paris"

"Elopement fit check #MyMuppet" (which sends everyone in a melt down) Here's some pics of Roy that Jamie posts instead (in his photo dumps to be sneaky but there's really a lot of roy on his profile - also they 100% got a puppy!!). Also think the proper first post containing only Roy that Jamie would post would be after they elope and it would melt down the internet (the in-universe royjamie rpf-ers especially)

(the last one is such a slutty roy pic *cough cough*)

"Roy Kent always remains 💙🪢" (somebody feel free to make an actual ig posts edit of this with better pics/captions if you fancy I will do nothing but cry and thank you forever because I have no skills but I cannot stop thinking about these muppets getting married!!)

[lunar-years]

there used to be a fairly popular ot3 trope in the s2 hiatus (I think, or maybe it was literally just one fic I really liked so I'm misremembering, lol) where Jamie would get sick/injured and end up in hospital but he still had Keeley down as her emergency contact, so her (with an angry Roy in tow) would show up at the hospital and become his (on Roy's part, reluctant) caregivers until they all fell in love. I think the idea sort of went by the wayside because it relied on roy/keeley already being together and Jamie eventually joining their relationship, which is no longer the standard route to ot3. But! I think we should consider bringing it back.

[youwillfindilluminating]

paparazzi is such a jamie ----> roy song

[elloras]

I present to you: this but imagine it's Royjamie instead

[holysweetcherryorchardtree]

OK, panic about a Phil-less Ted Lasso aside...

I think there's an opportunity for like, surprise Jamie.

Imagine Roy getting ready for work, accidentally making two coffees and getting sad. Clearly messaging someone who makes him chuckle. Everyone talking about how Jamie is doing playing in Spain (or somewhere). Roy getting home to Jamie who has surprised him with a visit (or Roy going to visit Jamie) and kissing him.

I also like the idea of Roy clearly having a significant other (a figure in the bed, making breakfast for two, talking to someone we can't see) and then someone walks up behind him and wraps their arms around him. First we go "Wait that's a man." And then we go "Wait that's JAMIE." And Roy says "Morning babe" and kisses him.

Like I want to see them getting together, but also the bait-and-switch, Surprise RoyJamie is SO GOOD TOO.

[royjamierot]

hi! if it’s not much bother, i somewhat recently just started reading some royjamie fics, but i wanted to ask if you had any must-read fic recs, or even any authors you enjoy for the pairing? i don’t mind if they’re long or short, royjamie only or rjk as well

thanks for your time!

YESSS IT'S NOT A BOTHER AT ALL I LOVE GIVING FIC RECS!! i love this thank you this a great chance for me to freak out about my favorite fics. in no particular order, here! I'll do my best to write a brief description and also put the ratings

in the next one, will you find me by nebuloussubject

this is a mature fic where jamie wakes up to an alternate universe where roy is 22 and a new transfer to richmond. it talks a lot about roy's vulnerability and also jamie's as well and it makes me sooo emotional i love it so much

it’s (not) only make believe by screaming_crying_perfect_storm

mature fic and FAKE DATING AU!!! it's sooo good it's unfinished rn but every new update makes me so insane it's literally soo good. it has georgie and simon in it and mutual pining it's amazing. i highly recommend everything from this author.

trip of my life by floweredhalo

unrated but not explicit fic about roy accidentally doing mushrooms and jamie taking care of him. it's such a sweet fic it lives in my mind.

that's what i want (collection) by BelmotteTower and Scoatney Hall

this is royjamiekeeley! i was so engaged in this collection i read most of it in a day i highly recommend it. it's so sweet and i love the relationships between the three of them.

open hand or closed fist would be fine by Tallfroggie20

royjamie again. mature also. this one is about roy and jamie being touch starved and filling that void in each other and also growing since the season one finale. I couldn't put this one down. one of my fave oneshots.

Be Furious by Emmybazy

this is an explicit younger roy/older jamie fic because this idea makes me insane. i love roy character studies and fics that make him younger tend to do this veryyyy well i love this fic. jamie and roy wear sweaters in this one which i love imagining.

love, that loosener of limbs by literatus

this is explicit basically just royjamie sex in the woods and also references to jane austen. i love this one im so normal about it.

Hospital Ball (Jamie Tartt's Adventures in Matchmaking) by dannyPURO

explicit fic :) i love this one it's mostly royjamie and some royjamiekeeley but it's so funny and jamie in this always makes me laugh. jamie and roy sleep together a ton and jamie thinks it's because roy is sad over keeley and roy thinks they're dating. shenanigans ensue.

Two Things Can Be True by cheerfuldisdain

this is a teen royjamiekeeley fic where roy processes his feelings about the two of them and also goes to therapy! also not finished yet but it is sooo good.

a muppet, dying of the incurable condition of being a little bitch by PeonyPages161

rated teen royjamie fic where roy calls jamie drunk a bunch of times when he's sad and they grow from that!! it's so good i love the way it's developing. also unfinished so far.

and i think that's a good list of my favorites? i definitely recommend all of these i hope you enjoy! if you are looking for specific recommendations for a specific tag or general vibe id be happy to give those as well!

[hopefulromances]

Ted Lasso Hunger Games? Say much much more

Okay okay okay listen

It's Royjamie based and it's an AU where Katniss and Peeta don't exist.

PICTURE THIS

Roy is from an outer district I'm thinking distrcit 8-12. He's an older victor that is super well respected and revered for his talent and abilities. He's gone through the atrocities of the capital and the games and avoids anything to do with the games or the capital now.

Jamie is a young victor from district 1-4 I'm thinking, somewhere where they were trained to kill and Jamie's dad is some high up person wanting to keep face and forced Jamie to fight his whole life. He's Finnick esque though and once he wins is put through the wringer of the capital.

So the quarter quell comes along and they reap all the former victors and Roy and Jamie are both chosen.

I'm thinking that Jamie's female counter part is Keeley.

During training and stuff Roy and Jamie butt heads a bit but Roy feels for Jamie and sorta takes him under his wing. Then in the arena through happenstance they are forced to ally with each other.

But they end up making an alliance with some other tributes (Sam, Colin, Sassy, etc) and they decide to escape the arena together.

I'm also imagining Ted and Rebecca in like Haymitch and Effie type roles that turn into Plutarch and Coin esque roles (except without the Coin being a horrible dictator person)

Idk i don't have it all planned out and I'm here for brain storming and ideas and stuff.

[jopzer]

someone made the fatal mistake of indicating that they would like to see me explain why i put every song into the jamie tartt but it's just mitski playlist so. here's that. i cannot be held responsible for how unwell im about to get OR how long this will be LOL

i don’t smoke

so if you need to be mean be mean to me i can take it and put it inside of me

look at that little masochist.

starting off strong with the royjamie flavor on this one 

but i don’t think it exclusively applies to rj, i think jamie’s sort of like. he is a dick he knows how to cope with people being dicks he understand it its easy to deal with. someone is a dick to me im going to be a dick back. short and sweet.

that mf is CONSTANTLY poking and prodding roy in s1 until that mf bites him. so that mf bites him. by s3 i think its less of “we are antagonizing each other as enemies” and more like. jamie voice you need to be a dick and i can take it.

if your hands need to break more than trinkets in your room you can lean on my arm as you break my heart

this line specifically feels like the rj fight in the finale to me if we’re open and honest and vulnerable with one another

just don't leave me alone wondering where you are i am stronger than you give me credit for

we are all in agreement that jamie needs smothering. i think roy would be hyperaware of Not smothering him if they got into a relationship and i think jamie would feel a little bit like spongebob under the heat lamp

washing machine heart

baby will you kiss me already and toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart? baby, bang it up inside baby, though i've closed my eyes i know who you pretend i am

this is just me doing cocomelon shit to jamie tbh.

even if roy isn’t using jamie as a rebound i think maybe it would not be a stretch of imagination for jamie to Think roy is using him as a rebound

especially if contextualized with like. mom city jamie catching them holding hands in his bed and it’s keeley who pulls away not roy. delicious

nobody

and i don't want your pity i just want somebody near me guess i'm a coward i just want to feel alright

iiiii just think jamie is a sopping wet little creature. yeah he’d kick the shit out of me so so easily and he’s also a terrible asshole but have you considered he’s such a sad lonely little guy sometimes

i also do think he would feel like a coward for not wanting to be alone whether or not he would admit to that feeling

like we saw him back at city we saw him drop those mfs like a sack of potatoes we saw how desperate he was for connection when he came back to richmond

desperate for connection but also for the entirety of season one absolutely unwilling to form meaningful connections; maybe because of his dogshit Coping Mechanisms maybe because he's just on loan and knows he won't be here long maybe hes just an Asshole maybe a deadly cocktail of all of the above lol

i've been big and small and big and small and big and small again and still nobody wants me

yeah. this one feels especially violently jamie LOL

he's been hot shit. he's been richmond's best player. he's also been just one of a million top players at city. he's been the bully and he's been subject to the boys giving it back to him. he's been the center of attention he's been no one at all

and still keeley doesn't want him. roy doesn't want him. we don't really see him pursue anyone else whether or not you want to read that as rj/rjk/jk. fascinates me.

of course people want jamie we know he gets around but i'm talking Meaningful Connections here

remember my name

i need something bigger than the sky hold it in my arms and know it's mine just how many stars will i need to hang around me to finally call it heaven?

again. we see each other. jamie NEEEEEDS someone to smother him to death with love if he's not suffocating on it he doesn't want it!!

jamie surrounds himself with pretty things and pretty people and i don't think he thinks its meaningless or anything but i do think he definitely wants more and that's very evident come s3

'cause i need somebody to remember my name after all that i can do for them is done i need someone to remember me

see above point

but also. hold my hand through some willful misinterpretation of these lyrics. jamie wants to be the fucking best he wants to be a legend he wants to be listed among the greats. clearly not his sole motivation anymore during/post s3 but i do think it's still incredibly important to his character

he can't be some Guy from manchester he wants people to list "tartt" alongside pelé and maradona and what have you. i think this is critical to understanding jamie he refuses to be forgotten

cop car

i get mean when I'm nervous like a bad dog

we do dog metaphor around these parts.

but for realsies i think this is very much jamie even into s3

when he gets defensive he gets mean

like we see him definitely falter with zava, this isn't his only method of shutting down but i do think he's absolutely prone to snarling and biting when he doesn't know how to react

he gets defensive. reverts to being a dick. see: bar scene in finale

i was meant for running fast i pretended you were mine, it made me calm babe

walk with me. s3 royjamie.

or at least how jamie thinks about him if nothing else

which. you know. could help explain his lashing out at the bar.

i've loved many boys, i've loved many girls i don't think about the past, it's always there anyway

this is a cheap shot. i see a little tormented bisexual man and go is anyone gonna chew on that and then dont wait for an answer

mf does Not like dealing with his past or his traumas lol. it's always there anyway.

townie

'cause we've tried hungry and we've tried full and nothing seems enough

fuck off jamie is starving to death and he hasn't ever managed to get rid of that feeling. trust. i'm right about this.

he's fucked around and he's partied and he's done the reckless drinking and he's done the casual coke and he's done meaningful relationship but he can't get anything right.

he's been starved his whole life and he doesn't know how to fix it.

and i want a love that falls as fast as a body from the balcony, and i want a kiss like my heart is hitting the ground

we all know love and violence are inextricable for jamie. they're the same. he's still pulling those apart

i think he's very much the sort of guy who wants it fast and hard and intense and he wants to feel all consumed, wants it to feel dangerous and too much

i'm holding my breath with a baseball bat though i don't know what I'm waiting for i am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be

i think the holding my breath but i don't know why is Very applicable to jamie's whole deal.

like just in how he copes with his various traumas most of all james

which ties in very fun with the last line. like so much of his arc is that hes Not gonna be what his daddy wants him to be. he's gonna be what his body wants him to be.

i also think this is probably how jamie is in a relationship with roy or roykeeley like he's waiting for something that isnt ever going to come with them because they arent going to hurt him in a way he doesn't Want if they are together

dunno. he fascinates me.

old friend

i haven't told anyone just like we promised have you? every time i drive through the city where you're from i squeeze a little

this verse right here is so so so very royjamie to me okay

we know jamie doesn't like people Poking around in his relationships on TOP of you know. violent homophobia in football world

secret little torrid affair between the two of them. lives in my brain

abbey

i am hungry i have been hungry i was born hungry what do i need?

come onnnnnnnn

this is so jamie it makes me want to pass out

he's so fucking hungry he's always searching for something to hold onto or tear into with his teeth. jamie and hunger are like synonyms to me.

alongside the inability to name what it is he's hungry for!

incapable of admitting that it's love! it's always been love!! most especially from the people he's refusing to accept it from!!

i am something i have been something i was born something what could i be?

jamie's whole life is built on Being Somebody; he is a young, sexy, rich, famous prem player like. he is Somebody. he's Something. he's a footballer but like

who is he beyond that?

i think perhaps mr tartt would have a little bit of trouble answering that one

valentine, texas

let's step carefully into the dark once we're in, i'll remember my way around who will i be tonight? who will i become tonight?

this one may be sort of a stretch but i think jamie very much sort of molds himself to what he knows someone will like in interpersonal relationships?

like he's very head strong very loud personality but when we see him alone with keeley and we see him alone with roy and see him alone with ted they're all Such different people

which is aided by the fact theyre all sort of in different points of his character arc

but i also think he sort of cant help himself when he's alone with someone

stay soft

you stay soft, get beaten only natural to harden up

don't think i really need to explain this one we all saw the boot scene

i am face down on my bed still not quite awake yet thinking of you i tuck my hand under my weight just tell me what you want to do tell me what you want to burn away 'cause i could be your stoker

i think this could be split into two sections but i think it functions SOOO well as one it is important

yeah i'm thinking of you in the low morning light. yeah i can be what you need i can burn away parts of both of us i can make you forget

love me more

if i keep myself at home i won't make the same mistake that I made for fifteen years i could be a new girl i will be a new girl

think this line is just very indicative of jamie's whole brainspace vis a vis his improvement and development

he wants to be someone else so bad by the time s2 comes around. ugh.

here's my hand there's the itch but i'm not supposed to scratch

he seems very much the type to deny himself things

obviously not like. fun stuff. casual stuff.

but i mean like. things that will make him seem Soft. love and what have ye.

i'm not supposed to be someone who wants something i'm not supposed to slake this thirst

be it for gay reasons or otherwise btw. i'm interpreting it bisexual style but you get the idea

i need you to love me more love enough to fill me up love enough to drown it out drown it out, drown me out

i cut some repetition and stuff for brevity's sake comma but

this verse right here. this is the real jamie of the song

fill me up. drown me out. i'm too much even for me (even if i think im gods gift to football).

need to be smothered!!!!! fill me up!!!!! drown it out!!!!! the buzzing in my head and the want in my lungs i cant take it take it from me!!

how do other people live? i wonder how they keep it up? when today is finally done there's another day to come

mom city sadboy era right here

i wash my hair but i don't use conditioner because like. what's the point!!!

should've been me

relive all the ways you still want me i haven't given you what you need you wanted me but couldn't reach me i'm sorry it should've been me

this is jamiekeeley to me

clearly it still tugs at him like. the funeral confessions and inviting to her brazil and fisticuffing in the dirt

whether or not he still feels romantically about her in s3 i think he probably still feels Bad about what a shit he was in s1 specifically to keeley

idk. maybe this one's just me. think he's very very very squirmy about her and roy's relationship to start and then it melts into something Different you know? should've been me. sorry.

geyser

you're my number one you're the one i want and you've turned down every hand that has beckoned me to come you're my number one you're the one i want and I've turned down every hand that has beckoned me to come

royjamie to me.

that line in s3 where keeley says she hasnt seen/heard about jamie being with anyone in a really long time. the way we know roy also not really accepting offers is he.

yall know the fic that's like. the first time they hook up, roy pauses mid thrust to say "this is a one time thing. i'm still messed up over keeley." that sort of vibe

and ram jamming the "had a poster of you on my wall when i was a kid. used to think you were the best." and teaching him to ride a bike and gravitating toward roy all the time and absolutely panting and drooling for his attention any way he can get it its all just like. yeah. you're my number one. you're the one i want.

feel it bubbling from below hear it call, hear it call hear it call to me constantly and hear the harmony only when it's harming me it's not real, it's not real it's not real enough but i will be the one you need the way i can't be without you i will be the one you need i just can't be without you

snifflin and sobbin

all points from the last bit also apply to this bit tbh..

i will be the one you need. i just can't be without you. but theres a fucking volcano in my chest that's telling me to cut ties and run that'll burn us both. i can only understand it when it hurts.

blue light

somebody kiss me, i'm going crazy i'm walking 'round the house naked

how long's a man meant to be alone??

also. well. he does walk around the house naked doesn't he.

he wants so deeply too i think he thinks being loved could fix him. even if it's temporary. even if it doesn't matter. maybe this is why he fucks around so hard in s1 maybe this is why he's still so messed up about keeley after they break up maybe this is why he's o obsessed with roy. we'll never know but man do i think about it!

out there i'm a sharp knife

look me in the eyes and tell me this isn't what the prick signal thing is about

he is a sharp knife. he is cutting through opposing teams he's such a shit and he's efficient and useful and good at what he does

there's something smart to be said about this one specifically but my brain is feeling a little bit like mush

pink in the night

i glow pink in the night in my room i've been blossoming alone over you and i hear my heart breaking tonight i hear my heart breaking tonight do you hear it too?

i'm a big boy i can admit to this being self indulgent

royjamie innit tho

just love the flavor of jamie thinking its unrequited and hes a freak weirdo for being into roy (his ex's ex, his frenemy, his coach, the guy who's gone out of his way again ans again and again to make sure jamie is okay even when he does it with a headbutt and all grumbily and jamie is making it Weird by getting one ounce of affection and love and falling in love) (roy is thinking the same thing but opposite. trust.)

i could stare at your back all day i could stare at your back all day and i know i've kissed you before, but i didn't do it right can i try again, try again, try again

see this bit could actually be jamiekeeley

i never stopped pining. i know i fucked up. please can i try again try again try again i'm better i know how to love you now.

when you combine these two verses you get rjk. trust.

but i can also very much see rj going from a weird fwb thing to a relationship or at least jamie pining over him so much it makes him sick and pretending those kisses are Something. do you get me. you get me.

once more to see you

in the rearview mirror, i saw the setting sun on your neck and felt the taste of you bubble up inside me but with everybody watching us, our every move we do have reputations we keep it secret won't let them have it

SHUT UP!!!!!! ROYJAMIE ANTHEM SHUT UP!!!!!!!

shut up. are you kidding me.

not only do we know jamie is incredibly cagey about people shoving their fingers into his (personal?) love life, we know that this would be Their secret maybe always, maybe to start, no one on this big blue ball would explicitly Know about them

people guess and they guess right but this relationship is sacred its secret its Theirs

they have reputations, after all

and letting people know is opening them both up to a whole world of horrible no good very bad shit storm and and and

aguhuguhaughagaguayga

so come inside and be with me, alone with me alone, with me alone if you would let me give you pinky promise kisses then i wouldn't have to scream your name atop of every roof in the city of my heart

ok this imagery just kinda makes me nauseous move along

thursday girl

glory, glory, glory to the night that shows me what I am as i go to the party on my knees saying take it oh please

party girl isnt he

think we could talk about that as a persona/way to cope but. that might be making things a little deeper than they are. i might be in too deep about mr tartt

and tell me no tell me no tell me no tell me no somebody please tell me no

this however is not me in too deep this is just real

on hand and knee begging someone to tell him no. sometimes it's ted most of the time it's roy. what are you gonna do

a loving feeling

what do you do with a loving feeling if the loving feeling makes you all alone? what do you do with a loving feeling if they only love you when you're all alone?

can we talk about royjamie i've been dying to talk about royjamie

really into the image of jamie pining and being sooo fucking angry about it. how did i get here this is BULLSHIT!!!

i think there is an understanding that they Can't be public even if they Are in a relationship and jamie doesn't even necessarily Want people to know about them but he is fucking punching a wall about it in the privacy of his own home

^ that bit is for the last line ONLY. separate thoughts, making you all alone and loving all alone

i think this could also very very easily be rjk with the trope we all know and love: rk as an established couple and jamie knowing he's just a third to spice things up for them. whether or not he actually is is between you and your maker.

holding hands under a table meeting up in your bedroom making love to other people telling each other it's all good kisses like pink cotton candy talking to everyone but me i'm stayin' on later just in case you come up and ask to leave with me

sorry you want me to believe this is not rj? you want me to believe in my heart of hearts this isn't exactly where they start? i don't believe you. you are lying to yourself and to me.

first love/late spring

wild women don't get the blues but I find that lately i've been crying like a tall child

you saw mom city. you get it.

one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge i'm on baby tell me "don't" so i can crawl back in

he's a good listener by s3 aint he

i just think its interesting who he's listening to. okay

and i was so young when i behaved twenty five yet now i find i've grown into a tall child

i think jamie definitely had to fend for himself a lot as a youngin as the only child of a single mom who was clearly struggling

everyone is always (rightly) calling him a child in s1 but have they considered he's just a 23 y/o teenage girl

i think the "such a child." line from roy uhhh really struck him please look at his face after roy says this. i'm not even making this a royjamie verse but clearly that struck him in some sort of way

to have your childhood hero look you in the eye and belittle you so clearly and concisely in a way that very clearly stung

i dunno. fascinates me. fascinating little creature that jamie tartt.

goodbye, my danish sweetheart

there's nobody better than you it took me a while 'til i knew but you knew from the start it was us, didn't you? it just took me a while 'til i knew

jamiekeeley w, this song.

i think it's also a very rose colored glasses way to view rj

which you know what. makes it a very good rjk song doesnt it.

so, i don't blame you if you want to bury me in your memory i'm not the girl i ought to be, but maybe when you tell your friends you can tell them what you saw in me and not how i turned out to be

pure unadulterated jamiekeeley right here.

i fucked it up. i'm not who i'm supposed to be. i'm not who i was supposed to be for you. but maybe when you tell people about me and about us you can tell them who you wanted me to be because he's better than who i am.

ugh.

there's some kind of burning inside me it's kept me from falling apart and i'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart but it's kept me from falling apart

this is so so so so so so jamie. come ON.

there is a fire in him and he doesn't really know how to field it or when to fan it and its burning through him in s1/most of s2.

it's launched him into being one of the best in his sport but it's also ruining the good things around him

little idiot does NOT understand human connection in s1. love him bad.

you're a battler, jamie.

now here i lay as i wonder about you would you just tell me what i'm meant to do? 'cause i've waited and watered my heart 'til it grew you can see how it's blossomed for you

you know who's really really good at telling jamie what to do.

and i don't mean to make your heart blue but could we be what we're meant to be? i'm just about to beg you, please and then, when you tell your friends you can tell them what you saw in me and not the way i used to be

back to jk with this one. i personally believe it's very rjk but it's textually very jk.

i'm better than i was. please believe in me. lets try again and lets be better than we were i know how to love you now.

humpty

i broke our belongings they're all on the floor the room is now empty nothing left to throw all the eggshells are on the ground and i try, i'm trying to pick them up but they crack and crumble, it's all too much too frail for me to touch

idk if i can really justify this one much outside of my own head it's just real okay.

i think jamie knows he chronically fucked up with keeley. i think he also knows he can and will lash out with very little provocation.

he's trying to pick up what he fucked up (think early s2) but it's a fucking nightmare and he's gonna have to slog around with tweezers to pick up the pieces of what he fucked

i'm realizing this song is very roy also but of course it is they're the same guy as much as they are fundamentally different

i broke what you gave me but you kept giving more and I'm sorry for taking but I keep wanting more, more, more

see all above points and ttb for my thoughts about the black hole in jamie tartt's chest

shame

i never was very good i haven't been so good but right outside the door nobody knows they're right outside the door and they don't know how it feels so good it feels so good

right outside the door everyone knows. they know it.

i think this ones sort of up to interpretation

idk. is it sexy? is it the ache in him in knowing how awful he was for so long? is it both and neither?

my brain is turning to mush i think. too much jamie in the diet

class of 2013

mom, i'm tired can i sleep in your house tonight? mom, is it alright if i stay for a year or two?

listen. jamie does not have this brand of mommy issues. i'll own up to that.

i hear the word "mom" and enter a fugue state thinking about mom city

this one's just for me it doesn't have to make sense

liquid smooth

i'm liquid smooth, come touch me, too and feel my skin is plump and full of life i'm in my prime i'm liquid smooth, come touch me, too i'm at my highest peak, i'm ripe about to fall, capture me or at least take my picture kuzurete yuku maeni i'm pulsing, my blood is red and unafraid of living beginning to end

c'mon.

he is a fine young thing. and sneaking in the "before i fall apart?" yeah. real.

jamie thesis. i'm young and sexy i'm in my fucking PRIME touch me take a picture of me remember me remember me i'm holding on by the skin of my teeth. don't look too hard because i might start to crumble in your hands.

brand new city

i think my fate is losing its patience i think the ground is pulling me down i think my life is losing momentum i think my ways are wearing me down

i think you could narrow this moment of his down to mom city where he is just so Lost.

but i think more appropriately you could absolutely name his whole arc in late s1/early s2

this stupid life i stupid lead is causing everything to crash down around me but i don't know how else to live or act or behave

i'm jamie fucking tartt!!

but if i gave up on being pretty, i wouldn't know how to be alive

i just think this is him don't mind me

like obviously he's more than his pretty he is jamie fucking tartt and he's a shooting star at what he does. yeah, i work hard. but.

i also think being pretty and being desired is his like. number two personality trait

or at least thats what he wants us to see him as. you know??

eric

you like control, well, i do too take off my clothes and watch me move you can come closer, i'll let you hurt me how you choose

well. we've all seen how roy and jamie interact with one another haven't we.

but how long, how long can we play this way i'm tired, i'm tired of not loving you my heart, my heart wants to hold you but i know, i know, i know the rules blue light, dark room, the white of your teeth as you smile at my trembling shoulders but your skin, did you notice your skin it cries a soft weep like mine i'll sell, i'll sell my heart to you what's my, what's my, what's my price? how 'bout, how 'bout just a part of you? 'cause i want, i want, i want, i want i want, i want, i want, i want, i want

i really did try to narrow this down and not include almost uhhhh the whole rest of the song but good GOD. royjamie anthem.

jamie wants SOOOO BADLY!!!!!! but has almost certainly convinced himself it's just sex with roy!!! doesnt matter if roy is tits over tail obsessed with him (canonical) or if it actually just IS rebound sex.

this is real to me. sorry. royjamie anthem.

he wants.

door

i looked out at the dark and wondered how could I have lost it? a hopeless violence i named it love

so. i did not want to include an entire song twice in a row but this song very much tells a story you kinda gotta listen to the whole thing to get the picture

but

i think this one is VERY jamiecore.

denying himself this integral part of himself as both like. a man living in a very masculine sphere of the world on top of being a victim of abuse that canonically leans in on his masculinity

swearing to be so tough his dad could never call him soft again??

and also jamie's whole like. proximity to love and violence and presentation and consumption

idk if this is making any sense but god it IS real.

i lost this part of me and this part was love and real human connection and it is a gnawing biting clawing thing i need to love and be loved in a way that scares me and most often with teeth tearing into me. augh.

real men

real men don't need other people, and real men suck it in real men don't flinch or bleed in public oh, i think i'm a real man

look at me in my eyes and tell me this isn't Exactly jamie's thought process in s1. arguably even through his character arc to the end.

though honestly, sir all i wanna do is get naked in front of you so you can look me up and down and give me your love for being so good but little boys hold me, color me praise me, make me feel lovely for a little while so little boy, say you want me 'cause, well, i can't take it go ahead do it, do it

sorry. you want Me? a royjamie? to be normal about these verses?

especially when jamie's whole thing is fucking. making himself desirable and putting on a show. peacocking is his #1 favorite activity of all time.

and roy's whole thing is. well. roy's whole thing. watching him with his eyes glued to the little fuck even when he's sucking his teeth so so so angrily and spitting mad

i just think jamie loves an audience whether or not its good for him and roy can't do anything but watch. they're trapped. sisyphiean in nature aint it.

[izzyspussy]

You said asks so NO PRESSURE but since you said S1 RoyJamie I now can’t stop trying to imagine it with a more realistic Roy and/or whatever other departures from the zeitgeist you would enact 👀 👀 👀 if you wanted to say anything more about that that would be exciting

Okay so, re: my tags about it being different than everyone else's that you eyeballed like. Maybe I'm just too aromantic for All This, but the biggest reason I usually don't love the season 1 royjamies that are already out there is because I feel like they warm up to each other emotionally and catch feelings and all that way too fast and imho without much actual romancing? Like, they have sex a few times and then they're like okay I was totally wrong you've never done anything wrong in your life. Which like honestly....... boring.

And my second biggest issue is usually more with Jamie's characterization than Roy's! (I mean I do always wish people wouldn't slough off a lot of Roy's anger and other various Problems and all, but that's consistent lmao). But like season 1 fics make Jamie such a woob and a sadsack and take away his agency quite a bit, like all his bad behavior is someone else's fault - and like, okay, to a degree, I GUESS, but like...... idk man him having a reason to act that way doesn't make it less of a choice that he made.

I also think there's way too much emphasis on him being protected and rescued, which like, listen. I love a good romantic rescue as much as the next guy, but it was also something I really loved in the show that Jamie got to defend himself. He got to decide to be fed up, he got to fight back. And!! He always had a belligerent do-your-worst attitude, which he maintained all the way up through season 3 to the end!! I love that about him and I find it lacking in general, but especially in season 1 fics when it should be most present, when Jamie has the most people and reason to be defensive.

Anyway, back to the first thing. I do think that having sex with each other would change their perspectives of each other significantly, but not necessarily toward romance or even friendship. Like, their Feelings develop totally independently of their physical relationship! Besides which, I feel like there's this really interesting stage in any enemies-to-whatever type of relationship, especially when it starts with a (literal) Bang, where they stop seeing each other as The Enemy and start seeing each other as a living, breathing, vulnerable human being who they happen to be enemies with. And I feel like in a lot of enemies-to-whatever things that stage is sorely neglected, and I think it would be an ESPECIALLY interesting - and vital - stage for royjamie.

So if (IF) I ever wrote one myself, it would still start with a literal Bang. They'd impulsively have sex. Not exactly hate sex, because neither of them can really hate someone they're having sex with - but that's the perspective shift isn't it. They can't hate each other anymore, but that doesn't mean they start to like each other or even really care that much about each other.

So anyway, they would sleep together, and they'd both be way different in bed than they thought the other would be. And they're a little bit mean, not quite in a fun sexy way, but not quite enough to be hurtful either. And then they'd do it again a few times, and they'd be vastly humanized to each other. But they'd still be just coworkers with workplace tension who are fucking and also sometimes Jamie stays for dinner just because they both get lonely and it's only polite for whoever lives in the place they're at to offer. They're slightly more than tolerating each other. They're empathizing with each other and being incredibly intimate - off the clock - and it's a bit weird but a bit not weird and they're just going with it because. well. what else are you gonna do.

And then I'd have them stop sleeping together when Jamie gets transferred, without ever moving into that What Are We stage nevermind any further along than that. And then they become friends, semi-long distance. Texting and stuff. Kind of like the fic Waterfalls, which idr but might be gen. But also I'd probably have it even more of a slow burn than that, at least wrt Roy learning about James. Just because like... another thing I feel like happens a lot is that people have Character A find out about James and then suddenly they like Jamie after that and all. And I don't really like that either, I liked that they had all bonded at least a little before That Whole Thing in canon as well, and I'd want to keep that. OR maybe even bump it up a bit, but have them not suddenly be buddies after it. It would be interesting to explore mixed feelings on that front, where maybe Roy feels protective of Jamie and angry on his behalf, but without having a fully formed (if reluctant, at that point in canon) personal relationship with him.

But anyway so. It wouldn't really be enemies-to-lovers. It would be enemies-to-not-quite-strangers-who-fuck-and-are-intimate (I know allos cannot handle this concept, at least when I bring it up as something I want irl lmfao, they just don't get it! but listen. it happens, it can happen, and it can be pretty good too!), then half-hearted-enemies-again-to-friends, and then friends-to-lovers.

And WHO can say what I'd do or not do with Keeley. But I also hate when she gets just completely written out of the dynamic because I feel like that doesn't make a whole lot of sense and also is a bit boring. Even if it's not an OT3 endgame, I still feel like she should be all kinds of up in their business.

[puppypeter]

hi! nonfamous au once again

keeley dating ruth is soooo good. I'm imagining a scenario where roy and ruth both haven't come out to each other yet (alternatively not told each other they're dating someone) and then they happen to show up at the same restaurant for a date and jamie&roy&keeley&ruth are just stood there like the spiderman meme pointing at each other. keeley Definitely gives ruth insider information about jamie to tease roy with and roy regrets every decision that got him there (that's a lie, he's never been happier in his life)

right: does roy actually like football in this au or is he just there to support jamie? OR does he know loads about football and just pretends not to to annoy jamie?

Once jamie and roy go public roy Definitely has fans online like can you imagine the rpf tumblr girlies presented with roy and jamie? roy is chronically offline and doesn't even know what tumblr is but you Know jamie has a secret tumblr and ao3

Hi darling, sorry it's taken me awhile to answer this

This cracked me up, I love the idea of roy and ruth not having come out.. maybe both repressed for so long and then realised things about themselves as they got close to the sunshines to their moons ahah I can picture ruth and keeley having become good friends while she was dating roy and then they keep hanging out together long after the breakup (also bc of phoebe) and it kinds turns into something else.. and royjamie are just whatever is going on with them lol

re. roy liking football or not.. i definitely wouldn't want him to be involved in any way professionally (as in having gone to the academy but changed or being a retired player). But I guess he can have the average-man knowledge without being obsessed with it, like he knows the famous folks and teams but doesn't necessarily watch every match. He probably just asks jamie lots of questions about it even if he knows the answer because he likes hearing him passionately go on and on about something (and maybe he's a bit horny for the "prick-ish confidence" so the rpf girls go insane for the football match interactions once they're public, with jamie doing the wink and kiss he did in canon but towards the owner box and roy rolling his eyes - that's my favourite thing!). And yes jamie has a secret account just to give out hints about mystery man and what he likes and always shows roy the memes and things he sees about them

[lunar-years]

FIC: and it's back to daydreams (again)

Summary:

It all made only marginally more sense now that they were staring up at Somerset House, and more pressingly the enormous ice rink spread out beneath it. Unfortunately, the alarm he’d felt when Roy first rang his doorbell was also back tenfold. “Uh. What has this got to do with training?” Jamie continued. Roy shrugged. “Balance. Coordination. Control over your body, I don’t fucking know. Anyway, the girls wanted to go, and this is the last week for it,” he nodded his head in front of them, where Phoebe and her little friends were jittering away happily, flapping their hands and hugging each other’s sides. Jamie briefly wondered if he was going to boke all over his nice winter shoes. 

Or, Roy takes Jamie ice skating. Jamie is more terrified than excited, but at least it's an excuse to cling on to Roy. If he shuts his eyes and imagines an alternate universe, he can almost pretend it's a date.

Pairing: Roy Kent/Jamie Tartt

For RoyJamie bingo! Square: Figure Skating.

Have a silly little something this Thursday :)

[adamnablelittledevil]

@gayboymolloy thank you for tagging me! And let me say, your taste??? >>> I've been listening to Chappell Roan lately and her music is sooooo great. I've basically only listened to 3 people since 2021, but I have opened an exception for her because she's that awesome. ^^

Tagging: @jaypentaghast, @unhinged-nonsense, @hearfrost, @waterghoulcalamity, @andy4yippee, I tried to tag more people here, but it didn't work so... If anyone sees this and wants to answer, consider yourself tagged because I love finding more about y'all. :)

Anyway, this got too long because whenever I'm given an opening to talk about things I love I lose control... But here we go. :p

9 People You Want To Know Better!

Three ships: I'm terrible at picking a favorite anything, or even a top 3, I have like 12 or 13 ships that I'm equally obsessed with... But these are *SOME* of them. <3

Emisue (Dickinson)

Is it a gay thing to have beautiful kisses that look like a Renaissance painting? They're such a beautiful ship, but they impacted me on a personal as well. This was the first time I saw a queer ship that was beautifully written, had loads of chemistry and was executed with care (the fact they had so many queer people and women on the show, specially Ella - who played Sue - made everything even better). They weren't your subtle and digestible queer ship for conservatives and they weren't overly sexualized for straight people with a fetish. They were something else. The way their problems weren't really about being queer/internalized queerphobia and even individual things like Emily's 'coming out scenes' being full of acceptance, support and even celebration were SO FULFILLING. It was amazing to watch from a viewer point of view, but also really formative to me as I came to find and embrace more of myself.

Malina (Shadow and Bone)

Mind you that they aren't even together here, they're just imagining each other, it's just that the chemistry was THAT awesome. First love. Childhood love. Friends to lovers. Linked by destiny. Can just sense one another. They'll always find each other. But they also chose one another and made their own story in a way destiny never could do it for them. The world against them and them against the world. "It was always you". Malina mixed all my favorite tropes and some that I hated with a passion and created a masterpiece.

Royjamie (Ted Lasso)

A lot of their problems stemmed from the fact they were thirst for each other and they would've fixed things sooner if they'd just been grown ups about it and fucked yk. These two were meant to be a big part of each other's arc, but the fact they got even bigger than what it was initially planned because the actors were inseparable and crazy about each other? And the chemistry was that amazing? And how they grew so much as individuals and boyfriends through the seasons? And 3x06 that was basically the cutest and longest date ever with them exploring Amsterdam from morning to late at night, opening up, trying new things, riding a bike together etc? And how Phil and Brett are just one of the cutest, messiest, most insane and chaotic best bros in real life who kind of lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship just makes everything SO MUCH BETTER.

First ship: I can't remember for sure, but if this wasn't the very first, it was the second, tops.

Villadero/Cordueva (Jane the Virgin)

Jane and Michael are really special to me because I think so often couples are about the flirting, sensuality and physical attraction, and it's not that they don't have that because they definitely do, but I think ships usually lack more. And when they do have more, it's usually a will-they-won't-they, on-and-off, love triangles, fights etc, because apparently writers believe dragging things out to the point it gets unbearable is better than just letting them have a stable and deep relationship? Specially back then, now things are getting better (I still think we're taking baby steps, but at least there's some progress), but Jane and Michael were the VERY FIRST couple I saw having that kind of relationship and it was a life-changing moment in television for me. That's not to say they didn't have some of those problems, they did, but they actually worked on them and evolved as people and a couple. I got to see them from their first meet cute (and it was the BEST meet cute ever), him getting a noise complaint about her 21st birthday party and a drunk Jane confusing him for a stripper, grabbing and shooting his gun, only to find out he was a real cop and then not only he didn't arrest her, but spent the whole night talking to her while she sobers up, getting to genuinely know her until it was morning?! Really, doesn't get more wholesome than that. And I saw them become full committed adults who grew together through the years, them working on their careers, Jane starting her first book, Michael getting his first medal, Michael being a close friend to her parents instead of just being a son-in-law to them, the two getting married, living together, being a family, going back home to each other at the end of a long day, going out to have some fun time... Being more than just two people who are attracted to each other, but two people who loved fully each other in every aspect of the word, who were best friends, confidants, who genuinely enjoyed each other's company, who would crack up out loud together, that had a life inside and inside and out of home. It was a gift. And so much of it was the natural chemistry of the actors that got along so well and loved that pairing, too. No wonder the entire cast rooted for them.

Last song: Fur Elise by Faouzia

There are ONLY THREE singers/groups in the world that I'm truly obsessed with and Faouzia is one of them. Her music is out-of-this world, specially her powerful voice and beautiful melodies (she has my favorite melodies ever). Tomorrow she'll be on the finals of a singing competition and she really deserves to win, specially after working herself like crazy making, recording AND releasing new songs, music videos, commercials, doing full concerts and even learning a bit of freaking Chinese ALL IN JUST *TWO* MONTHS! As I get ready to vote like crazy for her tomorrow, I'm listening to all of her songs for good luck. :p And Fur Elise is one of my favorite songs ever and a true masterpiece.

Last TV show: Interview with the Vampire.

Currently reading: Six of Crows by Lady Bardugo, but I'm gonna start The Vampire Chronicles soon. I have no idea if I will like them, let alone love it as much as the show (it's my favorite show in the universe), but I'm so curious to get to know the characters, be able to fully talk about the universe with other fans and know what can possibly happen in the future seasons that I will do it anyway... I just need to figure out where to begin, because I want to skip the first book (for now) since the show has already covered it. I hope it's possible to start with a book that has all the main characters that appear on the show, but I'm still gathering information to know what's necessary to read and what isn't, the best order to do it etc. :p Anyway, I have attention issues so that will surely be tricky, but I'm just so curious about IWTV that I have to do it, lol. And I also can't drop SoC or I'll forget it and will have to start it from scratch all over again... I've read like 3/4 of the book so I can't let that go to waste either lmao. I'll just give certain days of the week to each book and eventually finish them (hopefully in time for season 3), lol.

Currently watching: Still Up, Silo, House of the Dragon, The Purge, The Lazarus Project. I'm pretty early into these shows and don't really know what to think about them yet, though. I do have a soft spot for Antonia Thomas because she played one of my favorite and nicest characters ever (Claire Browne, The Good Doctor), so it's good to see her face. And Silo has Chinaza Uche, who had a supporting role in Dickinson, but he was so charismatic that I wanted to see him have a longer screen time somewhere else. I hear he's been promoted to a bigger role on season 2, so let's hope I make that far and get to see him shine lol. I also have some shows with sapphic and/or non-binary/androgynous/fluid characters people recommended that I'm gonna try. :)

Currently eating: Nothing, but the last thing was steak, rice and potatoes. :p

Currently craving: Also nothing, but the last time I craved anything was a cheeseburger with cheddar. Not even joking when I say it's been over a year since I had one lol. #fml

[measurelessdreamer]

Do you have a scene you really liked but weren't able to fit it in a fic? Would you care to share? Do you have a most recent favorite line or scene? What is it?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.

I'm one of the writers who start up tons of stories at the same time and never finish any of them, so, more than scenes I weren't able to fit, what saddens me is that some of my stories had really nice moments in them, that were actually written, but because I could never finish the fic or even finish some part of it that could be shared with other people, they sort of just stay in my docs, haunting me. There are two post-mountain break-up geraskier fics I was writing a long time ago that I feel particularly sorry I never continued. Neither was very long (one had 8k and the other only over 3k words), but I really liked the premise of both and I wanted them to become real stories, but they were both building up to be long fics and I had other stuff to write at the time as well and by now I haven't even looked at them for two years. The longer fic saddens me more and I still like to think that I haven't completely abandoned it, but the hope is minuscule these days.

With scenes that I had in mind at some point and I didn't manage to put them in... usually, I just like the alternative which turns into the final product much more and so I don't mourn them so much. I don't think if I can think of a single example right now, which, considering what I wrote in the previous paragraph, is kind of a relief haha.

As for recent lines, well, I have been having a bit of a hard time writing lately, so they are not recent per se, but they are the most recent ones I actually like? If it makes sense? They are more like passages, though, so that's why they are a bit longer:

(unpublished) Ch4 of my royjamie amnesia fic:

“Fine, let me rephrase that. I want you to tag along.” Jamie snorted and his eyes glowed with mischief. “Wouldn’t say no to helping an invalid. My mum raised me better than that.” “Oi!” Roy said, far more loudly than the non-existent distance between them warranted. “Fuck, man,” Jamie said after a grimace and Roy laughed and Jamie shook his head and kissed him, not stopping for a peck or a breath of air. He licked his way straight to Roy’s brain and Roy felt him absolutely everywhere and nowhere at once. Never in his life had he imagined that kissing Jamie Tartt could feel like this and that he would ever get to feel it. His hands tightened around where he was holding onto Jamie’s hoodie as he felt them go forward. He had no idea whether he was pulling or Jamie was leaning forward of his own accord but now he was lying on the grass and Jamie’s hands were on his waist and none of it rang any bell, but it still rang true. So much so that he’d almost forgotten where they were in the first place.

The (also unpublished) continuation of my Éomer/Faramir post ROTK fic:

Because he needed the solitude, needed to feel the cold air on his face instead of the warmth of the hall that felt almost scorching when it had Faramir orbiting inside and saying all the things Éomer had heard numerous times and still had no intention to heed. But were this the only hardship he’d had to face, he wouldn’t have lost his nerve. He hadn’t lost it with Elfhelm even though he had to face Elfhelm's opinions on this matter almost daily, and he hadn’t lost it once when Aragorn kept insisting that the Mark had only to call for aid and Gondor would answer. His blood wouldn’t boil the way it did now, and his instincts wouldn’t be so akin to fleeing.

They are both pretty out of context, but I really like them and I really hope they get to stay in my final versions of these stories. Otherwise, they would be the ones, I would actually mourn lol.

Thank you so much for the ask! I wish you an amazing day!

[liesmyth]

A, N, K!

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

Genuinely can't choose, but this one has a special place in my heart and I haven't brought it up this game so far. Dublin Murder Squad series, post book 1, some supernatural elements and fairy folklore, and I had a great time trying to recreate the narrative voice of the book

K: Do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)?

I feel like I'm pretty straightforward in owning up to what I like, but I probably don't talk enough on main about my undying love for Peggy Sure fics (time travel into body of past self!!!) and amnesia fics (medical accuracy WHOMST). I also have read and enjoyed thoroughly the worst filth you can imagine. Like, whatever you're thinking "this is the grossest kinkiest most hardcore fic in existence", I've probably read worse (where "worse" is a feature, not a bug). I'm always happy to give recs if asked. Call me the smut whisperer.

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

I believe it's my turn to write the RoyJamie get together in Marbella post S2 trope :D

[q list]

[royjamierot]

PLEASE say more about your ace jamie thoughts that’s so interesting to me

i think you sent this ask yesterday anon but i finally have the chance to answer it and i got SO HAPPY about this because i have so many thoughts on this and me and @picture-me-in-the-trees are always talking about it.

first off, i think jamie being ace is such an interesting idea with solid reasoning (as solid as a headcanon can be?)

for one, after early s2 we really don't see him have sex like at all? and like for the way he's shown in s1 that's strange. in s1 keeley says the only thing she and jamie were good at was sex, and even the same night jamie and her break up jamie goes home with a different girl. in early season two he famously goes on lust conquers all but we see the way he talks about it. he was strategizing, he seemed to not even enjoy the thought of what happened on the show. right after lust conquers all he goes back to richmond, and we don't see him have sex for the rest of the show? ever? like not even really jokes about it? he's a hot young footballer but we don't hear like anything about his relationships or one night stands.

i think it's because they're just not happening.

if we think about the timeline here, it falls in line with the amount of influence his dad has over him. i bring this up because i think jamie's sexual relationships happen solely because he has been told he's been called "soft" and "not a real man" if he doesn't do these things. i think jamie is ace and the only reason he's ever had sex is because of a.) outside pressure from his father to fit into a certain image of a man and also because b.) jamie loves nonsexual intimacy and he is basically willing to do anything to gain that and to please his partners.

reasoning a.)

when jamie leaves manchester it's influenced by his dad right? and maybe he is all in his head about his dad and about the image he needs to be. maybe he's angry that he can't be what his dad wants. maybe he joins lust conquers all, desperate to prove himself as a man. if he can't be what his dad wants when he's a football player maybe he can at least feel like a man, at least maybe he can feel wanted.

well that doesn't work and he gets kicked off and he probably fucking hated the whole thing anyways.

so he goes back to richmond and his separation from his dad is probably the farthest it's been in years, so maybe for the first time he doesn't feel this need to put up this front and fit into the image of asshole footballer who always has a girl on his arm and who's seen kissing strangers in clubs. maybe he can let himself desire something besides sex. maybe he just stops having sex all together and he figures out what it is he actually wants without the influence of his father breathing down his neck.

if we think about jamie's first Amsterdam trip within the context of the ace headcanon it's not hard to imagine the trip was forced upon jamie to 'fix' him. he was told there was something wrong with him, and his dad told him he'd become a man. this would make him a man. i think jamie's sexuality and masculinity got tied together at a young age, i think it was something he had to unlearn.

im just saying jamie's return to richmond and then a sudden lack of any sexual relationships is so interesting to me,, like there's so much to think about. so much to say about jamie's masculinity and his relationship to his father and sex.

(btw anyone reading this and interested please go read my acejamie royjamie fic)